#we're gonna be like Geralt and Jaskier BUT better

[zentrumderentropie]

Gonna try the Witcher-pen&paper on the weekend. These are my girlfriends and my characters!

[onemorecoffeeshopau]

WITCHER S3 E1 THOUGHTS

JASKIER finally has eyeliner, so much angst in that boy, love him (my spouse hates his hair but I think it's better than we were expecting, should have a fringe though that would be better)

GERALT has a better wig that S2 thank the lord, feel like his shirts have high tit possibilities which I support but really we're here for

YENNEFER looking stylish and slick, got some good EYES going on, getting some mothering good for her. Her looks are good but kinda weirdly m&s in some ways? Which I'm not against per se but like? sure

CIRI glad she's getting taught magic about fucking time that girl's a time bomb. Glad she's not having an awful time like the books make it cos that was kinda uhhhh too rapey for post metoo. One thing though, how's she doing that complex hair every morning? Those tiny plaits take fucking ages

PHILIPPA queen, I want all her clothes

DIJKSTRA is gonna kill the king I'm calling it

yeah that's all the characters

Plotwise I'm feeling good, I'm feeling hopeful, there's a lot of uhhh sexual tension waiting to see how that pays off. Also fascinated by the squirrels plotline, hope Francesca gets to see Fringilla before she inevitably dies

[magic-multicolored-miracle]

The Witcher S3 Ep 1: Shaerrawedd AKA Oh we're coming straight for MY EMOTIONS?! Rude.

If the rest of this season carries along the same kind of route as this episode, I'm very concerned for my emotional state. This was a beautiful rollercoaster.

Who the fuck in the unnecessarily long words are these bitches?

Oh, never mind they don't matter, cool.

Ooh, I like this narration/the "Dear friend" letters. But I think there are less aggressive ways to "send" them...

Is Geralt just using Continent AirBnB? Where does he keep finding full ass houses with conveniently 2 separate living areas?

Yarpen's got a point, disguises are great for hiding

The pining, the bonding. I love this tiny disaster family

Also this loose fluffy hair and casual look for Yennefer is 👀 10/10 (as always, but perhaps especially?)

Subtle Yennefer, real subtle

Okaaay Dara. Growing up and glowing up

Is that Stephen Robbie Amell?

So they're actually called The Squirels, it's not some slang/insult?

Oh no. He's a Redanian prince-spy...my baby's gonna get his heart broken

😂 rock-paper-scissors over who gets the shitty job. I love it

Ooh, Philippa, what are you up to? Because that was both sexy and incredibly sinister

Don't worry Ciri, Geralt has a chronic case of foot-in-mouth, just ignore him. You look fantastic

Ohhhh, that's why she was dressed like that again. It's a new party and a reminder for Geralt 👀👀

Ciri, timing *sigh* Also, I've got a bad feeling about this...

Well you're an ugly roly-poly...I'll take 6

I like the false-start music to match the false-start fight.

"Seemingly" innocuous. I like that

Also, this is a good look Jaskier 👀

Nice catch princeling

He did not know. But I love their friendship. Is it friendship? I think it is

Ooh good, we kept the coat. I love that coat

Also this stitched jerkin-style leather armor is 100x better than the moulded shit Geralt's been wearing the last two seasons

Aww, Mom and Dad storytime. But damn Geralt, way to bring down the mood

Oh Honey. That's a good dream. But a lot to take on alone. I believe in you though. And want to give you a great big hug.

Ah yes, follow the mage alone to who knows where, where he has has the upper hand. Genius idea.

Oh shit. Not the confrontation I was expecting

The scream I just screampt. I swear to god, I cannot take Jaskier in danger

Aww, look they do love him ���

Ok but ma'am this is kinda your fault? You could have prepared better, or told your people the truth, or picked anywhere else for your ambush

Ominous. Who's even left to get dragged into this shitshow?

Aww, she's worried about her dad.

I'm excited for the return of "Geralt and Jaskier adventures"

🥺🥺

Jaskier...honey no...baby...I just...my heart...

Why does Aratuza seem Extra Creepy?

Aww, Geralt. That was actually really sweet

Ah right, Emperor Creepy Dad...I was hoping I could pretend to forget about you.

[catscraftsandcommentary]

Remind me this afternoon to read the "read more." I've only gotten to "horse boy Eliot left his HS girlfriend" and I want to get a few more eps in before I spoil myself.

(Also I've been WANTING to watch Leverage for a while, just...hadn't had time/a convenient way to do it. So the yt link was timely!)

And if you want a more Witcher-y setting, consider this:

- Eskel was briefly a Ban Ard student - they taught magic, politics, and business, which Eskel thought (and propaganda claimed) would be used to help people! When he found out that Ban Ard was just manipulating events to benefit themselves, he left.

- Geralt was still the twice-grassed darling of the wolf witchers...but learning how high the human toll of the experiments soured him on creating more witchers. Also he's met enough intelligent "monsters" that he's turned self-taught zoologist/conservationist.

- (Possible crossover with Eskel - was Eskel interning under some mages experimenting on witchers before he left?)

- Lambert...hm. Maybe he was from a younger group of witchers than Geralt (like in canon) BUT when he realized how high the death toll was - and how little the mages cared about the trainees' and witchers' lives - he INTENTIONALLY destroyed the grasses and all documents about the trials. Kind of a "fuck you, never again." And then went on to be a very DESTRUCTIVE Robin Hood.

- Jaskier and Yennefer are Mr and Mrs Smooth-Talking Chameleons. They can blend into any social group, any city, any event seamlessly and talk any person into any foolish or risky plan. Jaskier uses that ability for good...mostly. Sometimes just for funsies. Yennefer doesn't use it all the time, but when she does, she is RUTHLESS.

- Jaskier met Aiden at some point, so when they start to assemble their group and need an acrobat/thief, he goes "I know a guy." (Jaskier ALWAYS knows somebody, no matter how obscure the topic. He is INCREDIBLY social and remembers EVERYTHING.)

- However crazy Eskel and Geralt thought that Lambert, Jaskier, and Yennefer are....Aiden is all that times ten. Reckless and hyperactive and easily bored, but DAMN is he good at getting into (and out of) impossible places.

- Aiden takes exactly ONE (1) look at Lambert and goes "I'm gonna climb him like a mage tower." After the first time Lambert sees Aiden pull off some impossible and acrobtic stunt and make it look GRACEFUL, the attraction is mutual.

- Everyone gets very tired of walking in on them screwing...especially during the middle of an op. Like guys, KEEP IT IN YOUR PANTS. At least until we're away clean.

- (Sometimes Jaskier joins them. What? They're hot.)

- Geralt and Yennefer have A History, and it is EXTREMELY awkward for literally everyone. And there's usually about a 1 in 3 chance of any conversation between them blowing up into a fight.

- Geralt let Lambert (and by extension, Aiden) watch Ciri exactly ONE time. Lambert taught her how to make half a dozen different explosives, and Aiden taught her parkour. On a royal palace.

- NEVER. AGAIN.

- Jaskier babysat for a weekend, and Ciri came home knowing more about how to manipulate people than Geralt is really comfortable with her knowing...especially since she uses that knowledge against HIM.

- The less said about Yennefer's turn, the better.

- Eskel is the only one allowed to watch Ciri anymore...but that's fine. He just teaches her how to recognize scams and plan for an op and all the many, many ways it can go wrong.

- Not sure how Vesemir fits in, but he DEFINITELY had a big falling-out with Lambert.

- Stregobor keeps popping up and making trouble for everyone because he's a soulless bastard like that.

- Jaskier has a vicious rivalry with Valdo Marx after he screwed Jaskier over on a hit, many years ago. But Jaskier never forgets and never forgives.

@everything-but-the-not-natural I've been thinking about a Leverage AU for the witchers (bear with me, I'm still learningLeverage names), and so far I have:

Geralt is the muscle, horse lover

Lambert is the tech nerd, "I taught myself in five minutes" genius

Aiden is the batshit crazy thief (and Lambert's boyfriend, no one wants to ask but they're all waiting for the explosion)

Jaskier is the master of disguise and charismatic grifter

ESKEL is their leader, who was burned on his old life and still desperately wants to help people

Geralt and Eskel have known each other forever and have similar stories (wanted to help people, got hurt, lost their old life). Geralt and Jaskier are feeling each other out, seeing if they work as a couple, and Eskel is looking at them with big sad eyes wanting in. (Jaskier wants them BOTH. Geralt and Eskel haven't realized that polyamory is even an OPTION yet.)

[nicelytousled]

There's a lot I dislike about witcher season 2 but I want to ramble about the parts I did enjoy and by that I mean I'm gonna list all the yennskier moments:

the SMILE on Yen's face when she realises who's performing

"Bard." "Witch."

Hugging. They are h u g g i n g.

"I miss the days when my biggest problem was an ever-present sing-songy twit."

"I am not having this conversation unless I'm drinking."

Again the way Yen smiles at him she's so amused by him I love it

"My dear, generous lady."

That song could be about anyone. Mm. Anyone. Mm-hm. Anyone. Mm. Anyone. Mm.

"We're better off without him." "Yes."

"The man, the myth, the legend." Jaskier's tiny smile

Jaskier threatening Cahir with a bottle I love him he's absolutely useless

Yen rolling her eyes at him when he does that I'm gonna do what I do best bit

Yen resting her head against the wall and groaning when Jaskier starts having a go at the dock worker

Joey just looks at Anya so tenderly and like... same man same

"I'm scared too. I'm scared that one day the muses will stop speaking to me. Because who are we when we can no longer do the one thing we were put on this continent to do?"

Comparing the loss of her magic to his fear of losing his artistic edge is a big ol' chef's kiss from me we love to see it

"Chaos could never be done with the likes of you. Yennefer of Vengerberg. Of that much, I am certain. So, if it's all the same to you, goodbye, good luck, good riddance."

THE WAY HES ALMOST WHISPERING THIS DIALOGUE THOUGH it's so intimate...

That interview where Joey said Jaskier is in love with whoever is in front of him, this is that and it's GREAT

And it's all the starker in comparison to Geralt this season. It feels like you could knock on the side of Geralt's head and it would echo because of how hollow his character is.

When Yen goes to investigate who hurt Jaskier and Cahir pops up like YENNEFER WHAT ARE YOU D O I N G ???

"see if any little shit-birds under the name of Jaskier have been caged" yeah Yen get his ass

Loved watching Jaskier get tortured 10/10

Yen pretending to be his drunk wife is iconic she's so smart

"Uh... uh... This is- this is my wife. She has nothing to do with this."

Yen kissing the side of his head...

The way he yells please don't hurt her!

When Rience snaps his fingers in front of Yen's face to make fire and she blows so the alcohol on her breath makes a little flamethrower moment I YELLED love of my life did I say she's so smart? She's so smart

Yen bearing Jaskier's weight as they run away with his arm over her shoulder...

"You don't get to play damsel in distress. That's my job." and the way Yen slaps him playfully on the chest...

"Ohh! Oh, she's so scary."

He really is the epitome of my wife is a bitch and I like her so much.

Fucking...fucky...fuck.

The way he yells her name after she disappears...

Jaskier's tits have entered the chat.

Season 2 really said buff Jaskier rights. They had to give him that awful hair otherwise he would have been too powerful.

"She risked her life for me. I always knew there was some deeper feeling for me beneath all that rage and... hair. She's got a lot of hair, that woman."

The way she wakes him up like she slaps his hip and then grabs his face in her hands and says "I need you."

This moment is under ten seconds and she touches him on his thigh, his hip, his arm, his cheek, and runs her hand along his arm again as she walks away like HELLO?

yes I watched it a bunch of times in 0.5 speed leave me alone

"The last time I woke up next to you, you grabbed me by the balls and then blew up the building, so-" "Come on!" "Oh, for fucks sake."

"Golden Oriole." "Golden what? Areola? Pretty sure that's got something to do with nipples. But then again if it was up to me I'd make everything about nipples."

"Tell me what to do." Come on he's practically BEGGING you to peg him Yen.

"What are you gonna do?" "What witches do best. Make a potion." Jaskier's tiny smile again.

The way he throws that stupid stone up in the air and catches it before he leaves the laboratory like stop flirting we get it

"You're back. Are you alright?" again the way he speaks SO SOFTLY to her what the FUCK

and the way he rushes forward when it looks like she's about to stumble and holds her elbow...

The way Yen examines her wrists and Jaskier is like gently cupping the back of her hand in his palm and then she pulls away and they look at one another for a moment...

[julek]

If you're still dont that prompt list, could I request "Thats gonna leave a bruise" and geraskifer?

"Look, Ciri," Geralt says, holding a wooden spoon in his hand. "This is called a wooden spoon. Can you say wooden spoon?"

From her high chair, Ciri nods. "Wooben 'poon."

"That's exactly it, Princess!" Ciri laughs, making grabby hands for her father. "You're just getting better every day! Will put me out of a job soon."

He picks her up, much to her delight, and carefully swings her in the air. The scent of chicken primavera cooking in the stove fills the kitchen, carrying through the room, early autumn moonlight spilling on the tiled floors.

"Let's go see what your Mama and Dada are doing while we're working hard, hmm?"

Ciri nods, a fistful of Geralt's hair in both of her hands with determination on her face.

"Oh, you're driving?" He says with a smile. Ciri nods again, twirling his hair like she's seen him do to the handlebars of his bike. "Mind the speed limit, then."

And off they go, Ciri setting the pace of their stroll across the kitchen and into the living room. Soft guitar notes are muted and gentle in the background, half-there lyrics that bathe the living room in warmth; the amber lights from the lamps creating an intimate atmosphere.

There, in the low light of the dining table, Yen and Jaskier sway slowly to the music. They were setting the table, plates still sitting in a neat pile, knives and forks still strewn on the tablecloth, before straying into each other's arms. Jaskier's circle Yen's waist, fingers gently rubbing the fabric of her dress, her hair almost touching his hands, down for the evening. Her arms rest on his shoulders, her face tucked into his neck. Their eyes are closed, content.

Geralt wishes he were the kind of person to keep his phone on him at all times, if only to capture both of his partners in this moment — but then he realizes Ciri's gone quiet, watching her parents dance in the low light, and he knows he doesn't need a camera. The camera wouldn't catch the way their reflection is mirrored in the tall living room windows, the way Jaskier's clearly singing along to the chorus into Yennefer's hair and the way her cheeks are petal-pink as she tries not to laugh at him. The lens wouldn't focus on her bare feet and Jaskier's cherry lipstick that he bought earlier this morning and hasn't stopped gushing about. It wouldn't quite get the sound of Yen's laughter as she missteps, and the kiss Jaskier presses to the inside of Yen's wrist.

It would also miss the way Ciri squeals in delight when the song ends, and, how, shocked, Jaskier stumbles over his own feet and falls to the floor.

"Dada!" She shrieks once Geralt puts her down, running to where Jaskier is sitting on the ground, rubbing his cheek. "You okay?"

He laughs. "I'm okay, Princess. Just took a bit of a fall, there."

She inspects his cheek anyway, poking a small finger into it to see if it hurts too bad, and, when he doesn't wince in pain, she asks to be picked up. Jaskier does, and she pokes her finger in a couple more times, just to be sure.

"He'll be fine, Ciri," Yen says, not trying to conceal her laughter anymore, but mindful of Ciri's teary eyes. "Remember when you scraped your knee last week at the park?"

Ciri nods, eyes wide.

"Well, it hurt a lot, but then we put some ice on it and then it wasn't so bad, remember?"

"Mmm," she says, in an almost perfect impression of Geralt. "Kiss?"

"And a kiss, too," Geralt agrees solemnly. "We'll have to kiss Jask better, too."

Ciri considers his words. "'S cream?"

Jaskier presses a kiss to Ciri's blonde curls. "Yes, cub— ice cream, too."

She seems satisfied with the matter, and her fingers start playing with Jaskier's dangly earring. Yen comes closer to Jaskier, inspecting his cheek herself.

"You will be fine," she tells him, using her grown-up voice. "It'll leave one hell of a bruise, though."

"Bruise," Ciri repeats, tugging on Jaskier's earlobe. "Bruise!"

Geralt beams at her. "Exactly, Princess— bruise. Wanna go to the kitchen and show Mama that we made her favorite dinner?"

"Yes!" She says excitedly, and makes a handlebar out of Jaskier's hair this time. "Ki'chen!"

"Ki'chen it is," Jaskier says, and they go.

[toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account]

Okay so THOUGHTS:

Do not talk to me about Eskel or Triss' hair. Do not. No.

Speaking of Triss I am DELIGHTED that they didn't make her FUCKING INSUFFERABLE like in BoE.

Voleth Mier (Derogatory)

I was so fucking worried I'd have to watch yennefer be a prisoner of Nilfgaard for a majority of the season but she was not and I'm happy

FRINGILLA

FUCKING

FRINGILLA

I'm so glad we got to see more of her and her motivation this season I fucking love her a whole lot now

(Also the first time I watched s1 was after I took a biology class so I always thought "flagellum" when I saw her. Sorry queen </3)

Her and Francesca........ Sapphic activity

DARA MY BOY!!!!!!!

NENNEKE! FUCKING LOVE NENNEKE THEY DID HER SO GOOD

CIRI MY SWEET BABY

I'm so fucking glad we got to see her do more than run around and be scared. We actually got to see her be sassy and fierce and funny and a kid. I love her.

HER AND GERALT!!! THAT IS HER DAD!!!! HE LOVES HER SO MUCH

YENNY BOO

Yenny boo!

Yenny boo <3

Yenny boo :(

Yenny boo :)

...Yenny boo.

Gonna fucking cry I love her so fucking much. I. Her. I love her.

MOMMA YEN! We're not at the best spot with it right now but we got our start and we're gonna get there besties I know it. I can feel it.

They're gonna be such a fambly.....

YENNSKIER STANS WE FUCKING WON THIS SEASON HOW ARE WE DOING

The softness. The trust. The understanding. The vulnerability.

The hands.

The hands.

Holy SHIT we won.

Rience was every bit as sadistic and ruthless and just as much of a Fucked Up Twisted Guy in the books.

And I fucking loved it.

THE TORTURE SCENE??? HOLY FUCKING SHIT JOEY'S ACTING WAS FUCKING IMMACULATE

And yen acting all drunk... cute

"This is my wife." WE ACTUALLY HEARD THAT. WE HEARD JASKIER CALL YENNEFER OF VENGERBERG HIS WIFE. THIS WAS REAL.

He screamed not to hurt her and I just. A moment. I need a moment.

YEN FUCKED UP HIS FACE <3

"Goodbye. Good luck. And good riddance." I thought this would be a bitter geraskier line but it was a soft yennskier line and I just. Ah <3

Roach :(((

...I simply ignore it its fine she's fine-

Tissaia & Yen :( Tissaia cares so fucking much about her and it hurts and she doesn't even know Yennefer is protecting Ciri and OUCH

Everything regarding the Elves was so fucking heartbreaking. They deserve so much better from the Continent.

The moment the babies went silent and it was followed by the women crying was absolutely fucking chilling.

Jaskier doing what he can to help the Elves... I fucking love him.

BURN BUTCHER BURN

My FUCKING GOD

He was BITTER

And I honestly think he still might be????

The Hug though......

THE DWARVES

JASKIER STILL NOT FINISHING HIS INTRODUCTION TO YARPEN

SO GREAT

Yenralt is destined to break my heart I suppose...

But the way he reacted when he knew she was there... :')

Their reunion was lovely at least

Istredd and Geralt were the Duo I didn't know I needed (as were yen and cahir) and it was loads better than a shard of ice. Very good. Like it

Philippa <3

The REVEAL

I did NOT expect it this early but I knew it was coming but I still GASPED

GOD

GOD

On the whole, putting aside a... very big series of misteps regarding one particular witcher, I actually very much liked this season! I thought the experience of watching it was far more enjoyable than when I watched season one, and it was worth the wait! I had a hell of a weekend watching it <3

[thearvariblues]

I know we've collectively decided to get all angsty with The Mountain incident, imagining Geralt crawling back with an apology after years of not seeing his bard, but please consider this alternative

Geralt, approximately five minutes after Jaskier left, still standing on the rock like a black-clad drama queen he is: Oh, to finally be rid of the annoying bard!

Geralt: "If life could give me one blessing, it would be to take you off my hands", ha. That'll teach him not to joke around me when I'm mad.

Geralt, as he flashbacks to the last time he wanted a bit of peace from Jaskier: Wait. I have a feeling this might have been a bad idea...

*Jaskier's scream breaks the air*

Geralt, unsheathing his sword and breaking into a sprint: No no no no that's not what I meant, that's DEFINITELY not what I meant!

*three minutes and fifteen seconds later*

Geralt, breathing heavily, staring at Jaskier: You... you screamed because you ripped that fucking ugly doublet of yours?!

Jaskier, kneeling in the dirt and clutching the doublet to his chest: It's brand new, Geralt! And do you have ANY idea how much did it cost?

Jaskier, to the doublet: Poor little thing. Don't you worry. I'll make it better, I promise. You're gonna look just like new.

Jaskier, quietly, but loud enough to be sure Geralt hears him: And don't mind the grumpy wolf, you're not ugly, dearie. He's an idiot without a sliver of taste.

Geralt, sighing and sheathing his sword again: Right. Get up, bard. We're leaving.

Jaskier, hiding a smile behind the doublet: Oh? I thought you wanted life to take me off your hands. You see, leaving me here would be a perfect opportunity to–

Geralt, growling: I very nearly had a heart attack just now. If you think I will let you out of my sight again, you're wrong. Get. Up.

Jaskier: Oh, I don't know, Geralt. I'm not sure, I think I'd rather just stay here and let myself be eaten alive.

Geralt, growling louder and throwing an unprotesting bard over his shoulder: I said we're leaving, Jaskier.

Jaskier, grinning: Well, my dear, if you INSIST...

[dadralt]

I am sorry but I just can't bring myself to like s2. I rewatched it and..ugh. The narrative choices they made, especially with Yennefer...are just unacceptable to me as a long fan of her character. I know they're still gonna do the "family" thing anyway but Yennefer's (attempted) betrayal is like this bitter taste in your mouth that will never go away (at least to me). And what's even worse, they really didn't have to do that (it's not supported in the source material in any way). They should have came up with a much better story for her for this season. Yennefer deserves better.

Sorry for the negativity, but I just needed to rant a little :<

don't worry nonny, i got you <3

and tbh i was feeling the same way you're feeling 5 days ago after i just finished watching the show. i feel A LOT better about it now so i hope that will happen to you too. never say never ;)

while i do agree and obviously would have preferred a different story for her to progress as a character without the betrayal. i also know this is tv and showrunners love a good angsty story.

i think it's important to remember 2.06 and 2.07 happen over like 2 days? and we're shown yen who gets to know ciri just a little bit and that's already enough to have her say, ok i'm not doing this after all.

i'm more annoyed how they had yen powerless and having to prove herself to people all the time, nobody trusting her. nobody helping her. even jaskier who was kinda nice to her, turned on her the second geralt explained to him she took ciri. she's so terribly alone.

i do NOT want s3 to be about her having to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness once more. when honestly? it makes sense that she did what she did! and voleth meir is a super powerful and dangerous being, it's way too difficult to fight alone.

and as @fireflyxrebel-writes so beautifully wrote, i think in the end what's gonna take more time to heal, is yen forgiving herself.

but i also hate that for her? GOD I FEEL SO CONFLICTED ajfldjsfdkls

i just want yen to be happy ok 😭😭😭

[ihyperfixatedtoohard]

JASKIER HAD BETTER BE IN THIS FUCKING EPISODE I SWEAR TO GOD PLEASE!

Ouch... poor Cir- TRISS!?!? TRISS!!!

THAT'S FUCKING EPIK!! YOOO!

Ciri is fucking hilarious. I love her.

WAIT, WHEN AS SHE BEEN THERE BEFORE???

Poor elves :(

Jesus fucking christ. I hate Velen.

Yenn, get out pal!

DIJSKRTA OR HOWEVER THE FUCK IT'S SPELLED! ONE OF MY FAVE GWENT CARDS!

Ciri and Triss SHOULD get along! I like it!

I JUST REALISED THAT GERALT'S BUDDY IS ALSO DEAD! I FORGOT HR KNEW MOUSESACK!

Ewwwww! Sewer!

OXENFURT? JASKIER?? PLEAZE???

YENN IS PRETTY YOU'RE RIGHT THAT WAS SO DAMN PRECIOUS!

Geraaalt. Ask about Yennnnn!

HE INTERRUPTED HER BEFORE SHE HAD THE CHANCE NOT TO SAY YENN'S NAME!

... Is Jask gonna show up yet? Pls? I miss him :((

I hope Yenn makes it out safely. I love her.

This conversation seems real deep.

Oh, THIS IS FANTASTIC! HE'S THE SANDPIPER HELL YES FUCK FUCK YEAH!

OH THIS FUCKS! THIS FUCKS VERILY!

That poor baby :(

DARAAAAA! YESSSS!

Poor Ciri :( She doesn't deserve this

Aww! Geralt! He's so sweet!

I'm so intrigued by this dust talk, yet I have no idea what it means!

Geraaaalllttt!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

JASKIER! HE LOOKS SO GOOOOD!

Ooh! Yenn! Yenn and Jask talk!

HUG THEY HUG AND HE WAS EXCITED AND GE FEES GOOD AND SHE'S TALKING THEY'RE TALKING AND BEING FRIENDS!

Jaskier's explanation for the song is PRICELESS!

I like that Jaskier is registering how terrible the situation for the elves is.

Jaskier is precious. I love him. Perfect boy.

BOTH OF YENN'S EXES IN ONE PLACE! HELL YEAH!

NIIICE! GOOD JOB JASK!

JASKIER YOU FUCKING IDIOT I TAKE IT BACK YOU FUCKING IDIOT!

.... Why do I feel like we're setting up for Vesemir's death? Like, I doubt it, but I'm nervous regardless.

VESEMIR IM GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU TRY TO MAKE NEW WITCHERS!

YOOOODARA AND JASK MET?? NEVER EXPECTED THAT BUT I LOVE IT!

Damn... Jask that was deep as hell and real sad holy shit. I love you Jaskier. And I'm glad you're reassuring Yennefer.- I STRAUGHT UP THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA KISS HER NO JOKE!

... I knew this was the perfect setup for Jaskier to get fucked over. God dammit.

[artistsfuneral]

Not gonna lie to you, this might not be your tea:

Jaskier Sugar Daddy AU

It's all Lambert's fault really

Geralt is broke, his job doesn't pay enough for the raised rent of his apartment and Roach, his horse.

He would never sell her. So he asks Lambert to help him look for a cheeper flat. The problem is he can onky afford the deepest darkest shitholes and Lambert won't have that.

They have been friends since forever. Lambert, Eskel and Geralt. They would die for each other. They would kill for each other.

So Lambert tells him a secret. He's the arm candy of an obnoxious, young and fucking rich man. He's only twenty, but inherited his parents' company and has a good eye for investments. And parties.

Geralt hates the idea. But Lambert promises that you only had to ask the man nicely and he would basically buy you everything you wanted.

“Is it a sex thing?“ Geralt asks him, because yikes and Lambert laughs. “It is now.“ But it only would be if Geralt wanted it to be. “It's enough for him if we're just his Dates for parties. Maybe have dinner with him in fancy restaurants. He has a set of rules, but most importantly you're not allowed to lie. Most of the exchange is based on trust.“

Geralt hates it. But he doesn't have another option it seems. He needs someone to pay for Roach, even if it's just until he has a better paying job...

Lambert calls his Daddy immediately. Apparently said one had already seen pictures of Eskel and Geralt and had expressed his interest before.

They go visit him the very next day.

Jaskier owns a large house ontop of a hill. Because of course he does. The man is sitting on a huge couch in his livingroom, hunched over a stack of documents, when they come in.

He greets them both with a huge smile and Lambert walks over and falls on his knees on the floor next to him, earning himself a hand in his hair.

It is so damn weird, seeing the pridefull Lambert on his knees like that. Geralt can't look away.

The conversation after that is even weirder. They set up rules, he has to sign an NDA(is that the right thing?) and like Lambert had told him, he just has to ask for Roach to be cared for and the man doesn't even give him a weird look.

It's easy. Too easy. And Geralt can't say he's all too comfortable with the situation but for some reason it feels right. Jaskier always knows when to give him space and he is amazing at gifting Geralt exactely what he likes.

Geralt starts taking things more serious. He notices hinself growing protective over the young man. And Lambert won't stop giving him that shit eating grin....

(If this is your tea, you can add onto it! I also will ;o)

[darkverrmin]

Do You Like It?

a/n: this was inspired by a male friend who likes to wear makeup. he occasionally gets shit from people because of that, who are probably just jealous of him looking gorgeous. seriously, mind your own business. and wear whatever makes you feel good ♥️

tags: jaskier experimenting with makeup, fluff, geralt is a himbo with feelings. enjoy!

(this is part one, if you'll be interested in reading the rest, i'll post the second part)

Calling the party boring would be an understatement. It was terrible. Geralt sat alone at a table, drinking his ale. He regretted listening to Yennefer and Jaskier, who convinced him that he could use a night of rest, after weeks of traveling and training with Ciri. This wasn't Geralt's idea of resting.

Ciri and Dara were back at the inn with Eskel. Lambert fell asleep as soon as they arrived here, earlier in the afternoon. Yennefer and Jaskier, both dragged Geralt to this harvest festival and left him sitting alone at a table.

Geralt found Yennefer sitting at the bar, flirting with another woman. At least someone here is having fun, he thought to himself.

But his mind was actually focused on the bard, whom he hadn't seen since the beginning of the evening. He could only guess that Jaskier went off earlier in the night, with some pretty girl in his arms. The thought only worsened Geralt's mood. Having feelings he couldn't quite understand towards Jaskier didn't make his life any easier. Knowing for sure that Jaskier didn't return those feelings made it almost unbearable.

Geralt frowned, taking another gulp of his ale. A familiar voice startled him out of his thoughts. A warm body pressed itself against Geralt's side.

"Hi! Sorry for disappearing earlier, I saw an old friend of mine here. You look like you're definitely enjoying yourself".

"I'm going back to the inn now" Geralt muttered into his cup, avoiding looking directly at Jaskier. He found himself doing that more than often during their recent conversations.

Jaskier hummed in thought, still staring at him. "Yeah, I get it. Usually I'd make a joke about you being dressed and looking like we're attending a funeral, but this party is indeed horrible. I'll come with you".

Geralt raised an eyebrow. "Thought you wanted to come here. You even managed to drag me with you".

"And no regrets about that, my friend. You could use a night out. Unfortunately, this isn't a very successful one". Jaskier searched for Yennefer with his eyes, gasping when he found her. "Oh. Woah. At least someone here is having fun". Geralt lifted his head just in time to see Yennefer pulling away from a kiss with the girl by the bar. The Witcher felt satisfied with himself that it didn't make him feel a thing.

Yennefer turned her head to look at them. Jaskier waved at her, smiling and pointing at the door. Yennefer smiled back, nodding and resumed kissing the girl.

"I think Yen's gonna be alright. So, shall we?" Jaskier took away Geralt's empty cup from his hand, fingers accidentally brushing against Geralt's. Geralt felt his heart stirring in his chest. "Drinking like a pig ain't gonna solve your problems, Witcher. You okay? Wanna talk?". Jaskier sitting so close and talking to him like that didn't make Geralt feel any better about himself. He turned to glare at Jaskier.

"I would be okay if I wasn't dragged to this stup-" Geralt paused, blinking. "Are you… Is that makeup on your face?"

Jaskier knitted his eyebrows, before raising them and chuckling. "Oh, yeah. Forgot about this. Yennefer did this a couple of hours ago. Y'know, for the party. I'm actually pretty fond of it". Jaskier titled his head to the side, batting his eyelashes and smiling brightly. "Do you like it?"

Geralt couldn't stop staring at him. Jaskier looked ridiculously hot like this. The black eyeliner brought out the blue color of his eyes. The green, sparkling eyeshadow was a nice touch, too. Geralt never thought of Jaskier wearing eyeliner, but now he definitely knew that he loved it. It looked so good on him, it was almost unfair.

Geralt hesitated with his answer. Jaskier's unbuttoned shirt, revealing a lot of pale skin and chest hair, didn't contribute to his thoughts. "It looks…" Good. Gorgeous. Hot. Irresistible. You're irresistible. You're beauti- "new on you".

Jaskier stared at him for a moment before snorting and shaking his head. "I'll take that as a compliment".

You should Geralt thought, but remained silent. "So you like it?"

"Yeah. Actually, I do. Oh, I also had red lipstick on earlier, but it wore off quickly. You should have seen how it looked". Geralt really wished he could. Jaskier continued speaking. "Got a lot of stares during the evening, but most of them were accompanied by flirting and compliments". Jaskier paused, snorting again. "From both men and women".

Geralt tried to decipher his tone at the last sentence, but with no success. "So why aren't you out there fucking some farmer's wife? Or maybe the farmer himself". Fuck, he really didn't mean to say that.

Jaskier pouted at him and Geralt couldn't stop staring at his mouth, imagining kissing off red lipstick from it. "Funny today, aren't we? For your information, I'm just not in the mood. But maybe you could use someone to warm you up and kiss that frown off your stupid face".

Geralt tried to suppress a smile. "I'll pass".

Jaskier gazed at him for another moment before speaking. "Well, too bad". He got up from the table and went towards the door. Geralt was left sitting at the table with wide eyes.

"Geralt! You're coming or what?"

Geralt got up and followed the bard silently out of the tavern. Jaskier yawned. "Ugh, I could so use a warm bed now and an eight hour nap".

"Eight hours isn't a nap".

"If that's really your opinion, then I pity you". Geralt's shoulders shook with silent laughter and he noticed Jaskier glancing at him with a smile.

(to be continued!)

Update: Link to part 2-

[its-onions]

IM BACK WITH SEASON 2 TAKES

below the cut, jotted down as I was watching!! come obsess with me, send me asks!!! (also i know my fellow book fans will have Thoughts but i truly truly enjoyed the season!!!)

ep1

geralt in immediate Dad Mode I can’t

geralts devastation at thinking yen is dead literally broke me

I really liked the humor in this episode !!! very good start!!!

ep2

2 episodes in… is geralt ever gonna take a bath… disgusting man

who on earth is this eskel 🙃🙃🙃

what the FUCK did they do to eskel

what the literal fuck????????

at least they killed him quickly so I don’t have to witness more of this mischaracterization

geralt please bathe!!!

ep3

lambert lambert what a prick. i love him

eralt is such a mother hen!!

um wtf a witcher funeral is getting eaten by wolves???

yen looks so fucking pretty in this strapless dress

what did they do to my boy cahir ??

the ab armor has finally made an appearance after geralt has been lovingly crafting it

OK THE IGNI ON THE SWORD IM HERE FOR IT

ok why is cahir's dirty crazy look working for me. also top tier yen outfit with these palazzo pants

ep4

I am living for these tight pants geralt keeps wearing like damn that ass

TRISS YOU BETTER TELL HIM YEN IS ALIVE

NO DONT HIT ON HIM

YES GOOD GERALT shut that DOWN

JASKIER IS THE ONE RESCUING ELVES

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD???????

oh fuck that really is a breakup song

oh fuck he’s crying

oh fuck i’m crying

i’m not ok

(also I listened to the song on spotify and the starting verses are amazing)

graham mctavish looks very good in a skirt

oh SHIT dara as a spy!!!!!

geralt is such a dad ... theme of the season.........

im sorry how many people wrote "we're better off without him" yenskier fics? and it’s canon now ?!?!?!?

geralt needing to sit down after portaling is so fucking funny like THATS what takes him out

the timeline joke omg

vesemir's characterization as alternately shady and crying is actually kinda perfect

ep5

they did me dirty making rience hot like i cannot be attracted to the worst villains

lmfao at both geralt and yen hanging out with each other’s exes

love triss as protector of ciris agency [note added later that her betrayal is that much more devastating because she really seemed to be on ciri's side]

yennefer rescuing jask is everything I could’ve wanted

geralt finally finding out yens alive 🥺🥺🥺

ciri calling out for geralt when distressed omg i cant

ciri wanting to repress her emotions 🥺🥺🥺 geralt telling her she’s enough amd extraordinary 🥺🥺🥺

the betrayal in geralt’s face about vesemir

umm yennefer would never betray ciri?? what the fuck ok lauren i see your weird plot and im gonna roll with it but i don't really approve

ep6

ROACH!!!

ok that was the coolest flying leap i’ve ever seen good job geralt

ciris little help me to geralt lol

absolutely screaming at the yenralt reunion holy fuck

ciri matchmaking lmdao

the little standoff between our family and rience

this fight is epic!!!

also geralt’s just deep trust of yen 🥺 and being absolutely broken im not ok

ep7

oh so vilgefortz IS their new daddy

cahirs hair is truly awful

oh jask has WORDS to say lol ok

jaskier immediately stripping down in front of geralt and commenting on his nipples omfg !!!! slut!ll

I love yarpen

living for shirtless jaskier still, we really got a treat in this episode

vilgefortz you are absolutely not worthy you gaslighting fuck

omg fringilla low key respect though

absolutely perfect apology by geralt and recovery by jaskier. perfect!!!!!!

the absolute tension of geralt holding a sword to yens throat and saying mine. just full protective dad mode and also so sexy

the deathless mother stuff is really cool!! very gaunter o dimm

ep8

wow geralt’s trust issues are just gonna get so much worse

a lil worried about jaskiers drinking…

toxicity lambert 🥵

behind the back quen geralt you badass

ok i’m getting mother of dragons (???)

uh francesca please go to therapy

yes destroy the ab armor white lizard thing !!! melt those fake abs!!!!

come home im crying they’re a wolf family

subtle note that duny is not dissolving in ciri's dream bc he’s not actually dead 😳

oh shit very smooth connection to the wild hunt!!!

yayyy yenny is magic again

lol at lamberts rejection of jaskier lmfaoo

oh just realized that was the backstory on lydia in the books !! subtle but appreciated.

istredd being very involved this season! like ok???

ok so finally after 2 seasons we have everything set up for the actual plot lmdao

philippa looks hotttttt af

ciri is something more fuck can y’all kiss already

oh hell yes spectacular dramatic reveal of who emhyr really is!! fantastic setup I am screaming shook losing my mind

(please stop with cahirs hair though)

[vampire--dad]

Thank you for the tag @moonysourenza 💕💕

✨ Put your music library on shuffle, pick a fandom and match character(s) from that fandom for 10 songs you get. (Lyrics optional) ✨

Alright, let’s go lads. Let’s see what we get from my everyday playlist (which is a total mess. genre is meaningless to me)

1. Drop Dead - Badflower

Rare as a roast, the skin in her clothes

But she shivers like a beggar when she cries

—

Quick, pose for the vanity!

Clack clack with your high heels!

Quit messin' with the boys head!

Learn to love yourself, or drop dead

You take what you don't need

You keep fuckin', but you don't breed

Better off if you ask me

Learn to hate yourself, and love me

this one was hard but I eventually decided on Eskel and that succubus

2. why are you here - Machine Gun Kelly

I’m not myself

I’m not myself when you’re around, no

Can’t be helped

We are insane, that’s just the way it goes

I’m a demon in the night

She’s an angel with the white

Told me keep on all the lights

I’ma show you what you like

Help you put back on your clothes

Make sure nothing’s on your nose

Ain’t even tell my closest homies, nobody knows

ngl, MAJOR Geralt to Yen vibes with their whole on again/off again situation

3. Trip Switch - Nothing But Thieves

Sharing secrets with another world

Rubbing shoulders with some unknown lovers

Making waves through the universe

Starting wars with anonymous brothers

i get Ciri vibes just from these lyrics

4. Grey Leaves - Robert Hallow and The Holy Men

And though I may

Remember moonlit halls

The earth suits me better now

As does the sun

For night, it seems, can offer

Sleep, not rest

And must be used to dream

Of those grey leaves

i think Jaskier, thinking about the time he’s spent on the Path with Geralt. he remembers when he was a child, the “moonlit halls” of the Lettenhove House, but he’s older and “the earth suits [him] better now”

5. Heroin - Badflower

She’s in my head again

She knows where I have been

I’m going down that road again

She’s in my bed again

She marks her fingerprints in my skin

I breathe her perfume in

And it burns like heroin

once again, Yenralt vibes, the on again/off again, the perfume line immediately made me think of Yen

6. Toss A Coin To Your Witcher

this feels unfair

7. Promise Me-Acoustic - Badflower

We're getting old now

But I don't feel it

I say you're beautiful

And I still mean it

And I don't wanna know

What old age feels like

So promise me you won't

Give up on this life

And we'll be busy tryin'

While the rest of them are dyin'

Promise me we'll never grow up

I don't wanna let go

I wanna stay young

And even when the wrinkles show up

We'll be laughing, and

We can play forever

Don't make me face the truth

okay OKAY ive been thinking about writing a Geraskier fic for this song for WEEKS. all of the talk of aging and still being happy and Geralt “not feeling” the age theyve both gained even though he knows hes going to lose Jaskier one day AAAAAAAAAAA

8. Warning Sign - The Amazons

Even if you say I'm wrong

You know I'm not the only one

Maybe it's a warning sign

You can barely sleep at night

You're acting like a loaded gun

Like you wanna hurt someone

Can you feel the water rise?

Maybe it's a warning sign

i cant completely explain why, but i get Lambert vibes. its mostly the “acting like a loaded gun.” im sure you get it

9. Despicable - grandson

One day you will understand

Why I pushed you away as I am

And you will find a better man than I am

Trust, I'm doing you a favor, doing you a favor

Despicable

I'm just a bottom feeder

Despicable

I ain't never been a keeper

Despicable

Love her then I leave her

And if I were you, I wouldn't love me neither

oh look its Geralt. our favourite self loathing bastard

10. Somewhere I Belong - Linkin Park

When this began,

I had nothing to say

And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me

(I was confused)

And I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind (inside of me)

But all the vacancy the words revealed

Is the only real thing that I got left to feel (nothing to lose)

Just stuck, hollow and alone

And the fault is my own,

And the fault is my own

OLGIERD!! MY BOY!! Olgierd Von Everec, who had the best intentions and just didnt want to lose the woman he loved and suffered for it and IM STILL MAD ABOUT IT OKAY

that was fun!! so now that ive exposed my music taste to everyone here, im gonna tag @lovelyeskel @lohrendrell @feral-jaskier @patchwork-quilts @in-love-with-writing002

[remythologise]

I saw the gif set of Jaskier hugging Geralt at like 3 am. When I woke up at a later hour, my browser is full of Geraskier fics xD (like I went to JealousGeralt[a personal fave trope of mine] and like open tabbed them and have been getting through them most of the day.) I feel bad for my followers cos it's gonna be a lot of bullshit from me this coming weekend. The Witcher season 2, SpiderMan:NWH, FNaF:SB Cycling between alll of those as well as throwing in McDanno because reasons, but like if people think we're already crazy from a mere gif set!?!?! WWWWHHHHHHOAAAAA BUDDY! They better buckle down because I am planning to add my own Geraskier fics! (I've asked for the books for Xmas) The world is crap, I'm gonig to enjoy my chaotic bard and disaster witcher ship and look forward VERY much to what you have to post!!!! >:)

ALSO!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT FREAK OUT!?!?!?!?! THAT LOOK OF GUILT GERALT HAS!!!! And when Jaskier goes to hug him, Geralt isn’t just standing there stiff. HIS ARMS OPEN AND HE IS RETURNING THE HUG!!!! HOW THE HECKING HECK AM I NOT SUPPOSED TO LOSE MY SHIT AS A GERASKIER SHIPPER WHEN MY IDIOT BOYS ARE DOING STUFF LIKE THIS ON MAIN?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!

Hahaha, hope your weekend went well, anon, and you’re enjoying the bits of Geraskier content that came out of the show and the Spiderman movie. Honestly had to google ‘FNaF:SB’ and I have NO interaction of knowledge of that franchise at all haha, but hope your game is fun too. LOVE the ‘McDanno’ throw-in here… always a pleasure to see vintage fandoms around these parts, old livejournal friends-of-friends… Oh man, I’m delighted you’re having fun with your hyperfixation and can only imagine how excited you were over the show (although also disappointed with their lack of overall shared screen time too!). Well the self-imposed spoiler embargo I put on myself is probably up so I’m sure I’ll reblog some gifs soon :)

[fictionallyinparadise]

Screw it, I feel like absolutely garbage and I am full of comfort ideas. (For my migraines bc god are those suffering)

Under the cut bc it's gonna be a long one <33

Satine: Fuck everything we sleeping/laying in bed. I am falling asleep with my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat and she is petting my hair. We're both still in pretty nightgowns.

(movie) 47: Its just gentle arguments of "why didn't you tell me you feel bad I would have dropped everything for you" from 47 and "we have work to do damnit and we can't stay in one place for days on end I'm fine" from me. I'm a stubborn bastard. But I'm also feeling shitty so I don't argue for long and give in and we cuddle in some car we totally legally own. 47 can drive us to safe places.

(video game) 47: Yeah I'm doing him and Diana separate before doing them together. Do not take that out of context. Anyway. If I feel up to it? A nice bath!! A warm one too. With bubbles. He washes my hair and tells me random facts he knows. Then we cuddle somewhere quiet!!!

Diana: She drops everything and instantly gives so much vocal comforts 🥺😭. "You'll be okay darling, I've got you", "my poor dear, come here", "I'll be with you till you feel better, alright?",,, GAHHH. Then just,,,,,, laying in bed,,,white noise plays in the background,,,

47 and Diana: Hehe power couple time. They take turns comforting,,,but it ends up with me being middle spoon hehe,,,they simply want to hold and protect from anything that can make me feel worse!!!!

Not doing Cinderella and Charming bc Idk how our dynamic works entirely

Erik: Yes all poly ships get individual then together results. Anyway. He gets a fuck ton of water and any small silly thing I ask for?? Like?? "Man I want a mint". He comes in with big ass bag of mints.

Charles: Cuddling and quietly infodumping?? Yes. Yes I do think. He simply just murmurs on about anything he wants and I shall listen and feel some joy in my moments of agony.

Charles and Erik: cuddle pile cuDDLE PILe. Either I lay on top of these lads or they lay (gently!!!) on me. Either way. I am held. I am warm. I am safe!

Arthur (Morgan): He takes me away from camp bc god that place is LOUD and we get a quiet little safe place. And we simply. Exist. He makes us food, gets us water, sets up camp,,,stays up all night making sure absolutely nothing bothers me or so help him gOD he will go feral as silently as possible. Doesn't matter how long I need we will simply be out in nature.

Javier: He takes me fishing,,,or just to any body of water to camp at. That's it. Sometimes his boyfriend(s) will tag along. Sometimes his boyfriends' girlfriends will also tag along.

Dutch (and Hosea bc I'm too lazy to do them separately): Hosea reads to me,,, Dutch. Idk. He reassurances me about the future. How great it'll be. Because it will. Because everything is fine. Shut up /lh, nm.

Lucifer: Fuck family drama, fuck crime, fuck everything. Close down Lux. Awkward hugs are absolutely required. I will simply koala hug him. He will just carry me around. No one is allowed to ask questions.

Geralt: He just goes "fuck" and that alone makes all my misery go away /j. Nah but he's awkward as heck. What the hell does he do his shape shifting girlfriend is in absolutely misery?? What do?? He probably does some awkward "I know you feel like shit" talk, hand on the shoulder, gives That Fucking Smile™,,,

Jaskier: Second he can tell that noise makes head hurty he shuts up. Nearly breaks his lute. Just. Hugs and kisses. He shows me songs he's still writing. It's silent. Anything that makes noise gets a "shUT UP" hissed out. All is well.

Geralt and Jaskier. OH,,,oh Jask would make Geralt stop and get a room at an inn. Despite both of us protesting. Immediately simply gives little face kisses. Fuckin drags Geralt to the room. If headache allows he sings quietly. If not then we sit in silence till someone falls the hell asleep.

Scully: Work sucks but she calls every hour to check in. And if I don't answer twice she doesn't call after. She just gets someone to check up on me....and if she is home then we cuddling on the couch. Some cheesy show is on. I have my face buried in her neck. Life is okay.

Dean: Kid feels bad call off all hunts. Hot chocolate and some old, cheesy ass TV show gets put on. Either that or he takes me driving to clear my head. Get some fresh air.

Cas: No angel mumbo jumbo happening here bc I would refuse. He uses he wings to block light and noise. That's it.

Volga: He doesn't know what to do!! Tiny husband doesn't feel good?? What?? How fix?? Who needs wacked with the spear. Unfortunately he cannot bonk my agony away. I use his cape as shelter from the sun. Or his wings. Either works. Sometimes I don't need everything dumped to take care of me sometimes I just need to know someone cares...

Dean and Cas: Some combination of the two. Yeah.

Deadpool: VIDEO GAMES if I can handle it. Other than that he'd get comfort foods then fuck off to another room and check in every so often.

Gordon: Hsnckosod. Okay. He gets water, blankets, pillows, etc. If I want him there I will grab him and make grabby hands. Which I do like almost everytime. He gives words of encouragement,,,,like,,,"you're so strong sweetheart", "it'll be over soon, just rest",,,Aohdoskckks.

Heisenberg: Specifically I imagine falling asleep somewhere random and he just. Drapes coat over me. Carries me to a gentle surface. And just shuts shit down and let's me rest. I wake up and find him and fall asleep in his lap. Everything is okay.

I'd do Jon and Martin but I think of this more with Nove than me so it's more specific to them so...

Sully: Bold of you to assume he isn't off doing something else. I KID I KID. We watch cheesy movies (either on silent or with sound it doesn't matter) and banter. That's it. That's all.

Alice: Honestly I don't know. We cuddle? Maybe? Perhaps?

Jason: We live in a cabin together so it's quiet. He has a room with windows boarded up just for when head hurty. He's a gentle giant. Water? We got that. Food? We got that. Blankets? We got that. Cuddles? Yes.

Simon: He is main "I do not feel good" comfort f/o. We have a whole ass routine planned out. If I can, bathe. If I cannot but still want to get one, he'll do the trick of like. Running the shower but I don't fully get in. Just to wash hair. Then, food and water. And meds ofc. Then rest. He has an entire case of water and snacks in our bedroom as well. Oh and he loans me his clothes. Oh and he makes sure I want his company before staying.

Dwight: He gets those like. Stress reliving oils that go in a humidifier for me? After making sure the scents are okay bc sometimes scents make migraines worse.

I don't have any clue for Ghostface.

I can't do The Curious cuz the self insert is so specific

Brahams: He's absolutely shit at taking care of himself. But he does his best. He'll read to me! Give me kissy. Hehe.

Narrator (Dude, Stop): He makes some stupid jokes to get me distracted and talks about video games with me hehe.

Narrator (TSP): "Sorry Stanley, my partner doesn't feel good so you'll have to do without me for a while.". Okay but for real he finds whatever form will bring the most comfortable and change to that then will comfort. Oh have I mentioned that I hc that he doesn't have a body he can manifest one when he wants and it can be anything?

Slenderman: He can make white noise /j. Nah but Idk he's basically a forest god. He makes everything quiet and guards over me. Fuck the dumb ass teenagers tryna summon him they can suffer later. Tiny joyfriend needs him.

Arthur (Hastings): I know he's in a rush to move the fuck on. but. But. It is rest time. Drink the Joy free water. Eat some food. Idk what the food is but he provides. Oh no there's only one bed,,,HA jokes on you we're gay. We are cuddling. Hehe.

Warren: We both need a fucking day off oh my god. Anyway. "You feel crappy? Me too. Uh anyway. You need anything?". That's all I can think of.

Idk about Magnus. Though fuzzy cuddles

Daisy: She would simply hold me close and do that comforting little back rub thing. She smells like cinnamon. I have decided that is canon.

Luigi: He tells me bout his adventures!! Ghost doggie lays on the bed with us. I am laying my head on his shoulder. We have glow in the dark stars.

Daisy and Luigi. A combination of those two,,,,She holds me but I'm also still resting my head on Luigi's shoulder. We still have glow in the dark stars. Everything is good.......oh how I wanna be here.....

I refuse to write for the Sharktopus f/os 👁️👁️.

Thomas: Hmm. I uh. Dunno. He drags my stubborn ass to bed. Maybe reads to me a bit.

Harvey: Okay let's pretend that ghosts can have migraines. Or that he didn't die. Either works. Anyway. Absolutely awkward energy. "Do you. Uh. Need anything, luv?". Gets whatever is requested. Does finger guns with a "come grab me if you need anything". Yeah.

Jack: He's a good dad okay he's got a routine down for these cases. Get water (do they have water. Idk), get blankets, get candy. Tell me stories about past Halloweens! Or have Zero watch over me if I can't handle noise.

Agoti: OH LOVE OH DARling. Anyway. He gives me one of his sweatshirts and offers headpats. Maybe some forehead kissy too. Perhaps even a hug or two.

Matthew: He's a good boy. He asks me what I want!

Lucio: His existence makes my life better. Okay but for real? He's kinda like Volga but more in a "I can't do anything to help and that makes me upset bc I hate to see you in pain" way. He just gives absolutely luxury. I need sleep? Take this big ass fluffy bed with lots of blankets and pillows. I need water? Only the best and cleanest and best tasting. I need food? Best chef on the job. Whatever I want. I need cuddles? Dog pile time. He also tells stories about himself. Or of us but in his pov.

Sally: Sing to sleep?? She sings to sleep. Or just makes sure I'm comfy. Also that cute little headpat that kids are given?? Yeah.

Jack and Sally: Cute headpats, Zero watchin' over, some type of beverage and candy <33. Oh maybe Jack'll make some silly spooky faces to make me laugh :D

Can't do Revan because I don't know our dynamic yet

Nihilus: The hungry void can cuddle me if he wants to. He's probably got the same Volga and Lucio thing but with more curse words strung with it. Uhh. Fuck it it's my comfort f/o I get to make the headcanons. He has a really soothing singing voice despite the mask. He sings like an angel.

Cookie Run (because Istg I'm just adopting more kids left and right with this game): Mama doesn't feel good? No adventuring we gotta make sure Mama gets some jelly and handmade get well soon cards! Idk they're just kids man,,,sobs.

Sal: Secret agent shit goes oof- nah but he'd tell jokes. Silly little jokes. Get me to laugh. He'd just take my little mind off the big pain.