#we're always our own worst critics huh

[wintaerbaer]

Listen, that Drabble hurt me a lot tonight but your writing has not??? Declined??? At all??? Everything you write is *chef’s kiss* masterful and I will hear no slander in this household!!!!! I’m excited to read the next one! 💜

oh my goodness, thank you!! 😭 i definitely feel self-conscious and critical of my writing style now because when i was in college, i was writing a ton and also doing a lot of poetry, and i think you could see that lyricism and pacing kind of bleed over. but before last year, i had essentially gone through a 5-6 year creative writing hiatus, and did a master's degree in the meantime. so i think my writing style now lends itself much more to blunt and efficient language (because i was doing all academic and professional writing), and i'm not always the biggest fan. trying my best to get back to my old writing style for my own sake, but i'm glad you are still enjoying it! that makes me feel so much better! <3

(and i'm sorry the drabble made you hurt lol 😅)

[avatarvyakara]

Drops of Gold and Silver

A Tangled Fanfic

Prompts 1-15

1. Embarrassment

“We're related to these people?” asks Varian one day, utterly flabbergasted as Catalina and Lance and his Dad (his no-nonsense, nearly-humourless Dad) trade some of the most awful puns he’s ever heard while they eat.

“Yep,” says Angry, leaning back in her chair contentedly. “Plus, dinner and a show. Our families are great.”

2. Balcony

Rapunzel tries to make time to do something with everyone in her life. Any number of activities with Eugene (even sometimes just doing nothing). Learning about governance and the kingdom from her parents, and later helping them get their memories back. Learning fighting tricks from Cass, when she was still here. Discussing science with Varian (he likes geology and botany, she’s still new to everything but). Painting with Catalina, that was a nice surprise. But she’s not sure what to do with Angry.

Until, as Eugene suggests, it turns out that just watching the stars in the night sky is all that’s needed to make Angry...really happy.

And she’s got the perfect place for it.

3. Unreasonable

Wanting people to act a certain way around her, going out of her own way to ‘tease’ people about their faults, taking criticism as insult, literally using magic to change the minds of the people she loves to make them think what she wants them to think (like the Hourglass Incident)…it's been a tough few years, but that's no excuse for this.

And there's only one person left beyond Pascal to turn to. Not Dad, or Lance, or the girls, or Varian, or even Cass, and especially not Eugene. (He's one of the worst-affected.)

"Mom," says Rapunzel, quiet as a mouse and a little scared, "I need your help. I think I'm becoming my Mother."

4. Congress

"Consider it a vote of confidence, Sunshine," says Eugene as Rapunzel fumes, half sympathetic and half trying not to laugh. "Literally."

"Eugene, the idea of making Corona a democracy was supposed to give the people of Corona more freedom of speech. It should not have led to the citizens voting to give us even more power!"

5. Cook

There's a reason we brought him along on this trip, thinks Cassandra, slurping down the rabbit stew at dinner—hunted by her and Owl, but prepared entirely by Lance.

Not that she's going to tell him it was a good decision.

No, not even for third helpings.

6. Disclose

“Huh,” says Cassandra after Varian’s story rattles to an embarrassed halt. “What are the odds of both of us having a completely separate Feather Duster Incident?”

7. Cute

Catalina’s successfully holding back a giggle. Varian’s not even trying.

“If either of you says anything about me being dressed like this,” warns Angry in a dark voice, “your days will be numbered in the single digits.”

8. Valley

“...of Shadow? Pit of Despair? Mountains of Madness? The Dark Kingdom? You even live in the Castle of Dread! Dad, is there anywhere in this entire country that doesn’t have a horribly depressing name?”

“Well, there’s always Lancaster...”

“Great! So let’s visit Lancas—”

“Trust me, son,” says Edmund, firmly, “you do not want to visit Lancaster.”

“...do I want to know why?”

“Not if you value your sanity.” He brightens up. “But the Pit of Despair has some great picnic spots!”

9. Disagreement

“His Majesty has become very...different since his marriage,” opines the brand-new Captain of the Guard, watching Herz der Sonne arguing with his wife.

“I know,” says Montanieu, as her sister and her brother-in-law stand nose-to-nose glaring soulfully into each other’s eyes. “I haven’t seen either of them this happy in years.”

10. Concentrate

For the first time in a long, long time, the Captain is knocked down.

Cassandra offers him a smirk and a hand up. “What, the idea of me going on a pretend date is that distracting? Try to focus, Dad.”

11. Correspondence

In a way, it was good for their relationship that she took a year to travel the world, thinks Arianna. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, after all, and where in the castle she and Frederic were chaperoned all the time, through the letters they could speak freely and without Frederic’s crippling shyness or her tendency to go for the sword. As for some of the things they were writing to each other by the end...well, a lady doesn’t kiss and tell. (Or even Send With A Loving Kiss and tell.)

12. Relaxation

Pascal plays chess. Maximus reads the Corona Lawbook. Owl goes hunting. Fidella loves a good ride.

Amateurs, thinks Ruddiger, as he and Hamuel snooze on a branch in the sun (Hamuel is thankfully silent). This is how you have a day off.

13. Law

One of the nice things about actually learning the rules, Angry thinks to herself, is that you get to find so many new ways to work around them.

14. Caution

Varian is the most impressive alchemist that Corona has seen for a hundred years, leading at least one successful coup (the Chocolate Incident probably doesn’t count). Catalina absorbed a three-thousand-year-old werewolf demon and not only survived but learned to control it (again not counting the Chocolate Incident). They’re two of the most formidable people in the kingdom.

But regardless of how much power they have, everyone agrees that Angry is scarier.

Including them.

15. Ancestors

Sometimes it truly amazed Rapunzel that, out of all her friends, she was the only one who had a lineage going back more than a generation in this country. Sometimes it saddened her.

And one or two times, it made her wonder if her ancestors had thought the same about their friends, and where their friends' children were now.

(Cross-posted from AO3. Let me know what you think!)

[treadmilltreats]

Why lie?

I remember a time when I was talking to my daughter and she told me some things her father had said about our court case. I had to laugh at the fact that he was lying while he was saying, I was lying. 

Here's the thing, I freely admit that I was an expert liar while I was married to him. Shocking isn't it? The fact that I would openly admit that fact huh? Yes, we all hate to admit our flaws, most of us would rather die than admit we're not perfect.

But I am sorry, I have to tell the truth here and the truth is I am so not perfect!  I tell it all in this blog, the good, the bad and the really ugly. And being not perfect, means that I have done some really crappie things, including lying.

I lied about being happy in my marriage.

(I was miserable)

I lied about us being the "perfect" family.

(We were falling apart and a dysfunctional mess)

I lied about seeing my friends.

(Because he hated all my friends and that was the only way I could see them)

I lied about wanting to make the marriage work. 

(All I really wanted was to get out but I was too afraid to leave)

Yes, I lied about everything and hated myself for it! The day I decided to leave the marriage was the day I vowed I would never lie again.

I was free and freedom to me meant never having to lie to try to please someone else. It meant that I could finally be myself again, warts and all. It meant that I would know my self worth and know that I cannot be everything to everyone. That you cannot make someone happy, that they must do that on their own.

I write this blog every day,

5 days a week, four weeks a month, 12 months a year for the last 7 years. There is nothing I have not put out there. I've been honest and told you my great moments, like finally being free of my abusive  marriage. I've told you my worst moments like when I was lied to and cheated on by Mr. Con Artist. I poured my heart out, I shared my heartbreaks and disappointments. I wasn't afraid when I told you time and time again the moments that I fell on my face.

I have shared my highs and lows, I opened myself up to the world and to criticism from strangers.There is nothing I won't share to try to help someone out there reading my blog and because of that there is no reason for me to lie.

So when I remember hearing this from my daughter, I thought, well at least I am growing. I am owning what I did and who I was back then. Yes, I was a liar but I am a different person now and if you can't see that, if you can't see how much work I put into changing into this person that I am today...well that's your problem.

If you think a leopard can't change his spots and that no one is capable of change, well I am sorry to tell you, that's on you.

There are many of us out there that have changed our whole lives, changed from being addicts, change our relationship patterns, gave up toxic people or habits. People who turned their whole lives around because they were sick and tired of being sick and tired. So I know it is possible to change.

 My advice to those people out there that think it is impossible to change is that maybe you need to take a long hard look in the mirror. Maybe your incapable of change...maybe it's just you that will never grow or change...maybe just maybe, it's you and not the rest of us.

So today my friends, I tell you to own what you did. Stand tall in the mistakes you've made, because through all the failures and all the heartbreaks, it has made you the person you are today.

As I always say in the end of every blog "Be the change you want to see"

"Be the change you want to see"

 

"And just when the caterpillar thought his life over...he turned into a beautiful butterfly"

**Now released my latest book**

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