#we're already here

[killedbyfrank]

I can't believe it's been 9 years already and now we are here. Time sure flies!

Happy anniversary to this amazing movie, and all the friends I made along the way

💛💙💜💚❤️

[azuremallone]

[azuremallone]

This is how I "LifeMax":

This is why I "LifeMax":

[azuremallone]

I am sincerely asking you as a Trump supporter, what are you looking foward to him doing? What do you think he will do to make your life better?

I'm looking forward to him being an actual president and not a drooling senile one like Biden. Biden clearly was suffering dementia and did every evil thing he claimed Trump would do, including going back on his own words to pardon Hunter. What I think Trump will do to make my life better is helping me get you monkeys back to working on creating me a brand new navigation crystal so that I can finally get off this planet. But, being that still is a ways off, I'll settle for him landing you wonder chimps on Mars and lowering the cost of living.

It costs a lot more since Biden became president to maintain my lair. Eggs aren't cheap. They're a great source of nutrients for my species.

[azuremallone]

This is what it’s like when I have to reset my life every hundred years among you Humans these days.

[azuremallone]

[azuremallone]

What you've experienced could easily be classified as a new SCP, if this were a dimensional crossover event. However, it wasn't, as depicted by the fact that you're still alive. This gentleman, rather his kind, have been experienced across numerous planets over many years. It's theorized that this mode of transit is how they travel incredible distances in a short period of time across their Universe, which is fairly adjacent to our own.

This explains why he appeared and disappeared. The distance he travelled in that short time within our Universe must have been tremendous in his Universe to be using Yankee Doodle as the power source for his Malamute Transit Generators. He seems to have been on his way to assist in a cosmic team up with other super heroes, given his style of dress.

On one planet, many were seen streaking through the skies on what looked like gigantic gull-wing ducks. They were adorned with helmets that had Viking-like horns and loin cloths made of the finest white satin. It was presumed that they were a flotilla on their way to some form of combat or conquest in their Universe.

Other depictions indicate that they have aquatic and interstellar modes of transit. Aquatically, they've been spotted on the backs of dolphins, giant sea otters, and swordfish or narwhals. In space, they've been spotted riding manta rays with mechanical breathing apparatuses while they wear fish bowls. Nothing else, just fish bowls and loin cloths or full bodysuits made of spandex.

The epic handlebar mustache is worn by all of them, men, women, and even upon the rare glimpses of their children. A recorded instance here on Earth depicted a baby of at least a year old, clinging to the back of a Malamute with fire in its eyes and charging full speed down a street in Yorkshire around 1829 A.D. which was rather startling to say the least.

Someone in the Fort Collins Area owes me an explanation

So, I’m up at my parent’s house to return the power tools I borrowed and say hi, and I’m out walking the dogs. Got a leash in each hand, dual-weilding doggos. It’s a bit tricky but they’re used to this and don’t tangle as much and I’m the only person with good enough knees to stop them when they see snackable wildlife.

Anyway, we’re on the North end of the Poudre River trail, by overland, you know where that long bridge is? And I’m disposing of dog waste right before the bridge like a responsible adult when I hear what sounds like an ice cream truck playing “Yankee Doodle” at roughly five times the speed it’s normally played at and see the following:

There is a gentleman rapidly approaching our location who is also dual-weilding doggos, but in his case he’s got a pair of malamutes barreling down the trail at full Iditarod speed, clearly having the time of their lives. They’re hauling thier human behind them, whom I will describe from the top down:

He’s wearing a helmet, which is the only sensible thing going on here. He also has a magnificent handlebar mustache that is flapping joyously in the unusual October rain. He’s wearing a full body Spandex suit of such intensely clashing colors that is physically hurt to look at, but most importantly

He is riding

A unicycle.

It’s not a normal unicycle either this gentleman is towering over us mortals in an unreasonably massive unicycle, like he’d lost the back end of a penny farthing and decided that was an acceptable means of transportation. I see a device attached to the seat that looks like a pedal-powered music box which explains why my ears are being assaulted with the speed core rendition of Yankee Fucking Doodle. I do not see brakes.

I realize I have half a second to grab my own dogs before they decide to join or topple this strange Traveller from wherever Dr.Seuss books are set. I gather each animal under my arms and stand there with a collective hundred pounds of writhing canine under my armpits as the malamutes pick of speed and as they pass the gentleman cheerfully bellows something at me that I don’t hear because Arwen has already partially broken my hold and is attempting to climb on my head, presumably to launch herself at him.

And then he is gone.

We stand there, staring bewildered in the direction of his last known trajectory, listening as speedcore Yankee Doodle fades into the distance. Even after it is gone I still wait, because the trail ends in half a mile from here and I expect to here a crash, possibly even see a fire explosion. But nothing comes, only the sound of October rain and confused dogs.

So if you know of this gentleman and if he’s still alive/on the material plane, can you ask him something for me?

How the hell does he STOP?

[azuremallone]

"Science" is finding more genders every day...

The fuck is "two spirit"? Fucking sounds Thetan to me.

[aintnopartylikeaprideparty]

please be what i think it is please be what i think it is please be what i think it is please be what i think it is please be what i think it is ple

FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[technically-human]

This happened, it just wasn't relevant to the plot

[azuremallone]

This is this is the coolest shit I've ever seen a human being do.

Digital watches are all the rage in most of the known Universe: A purely Human invention. Only the finest of Earthborn quartzite is used in high end digital watches. Why are they so prized?

Because you can strap them onto any appendage and know the time. Yeah, there are modern versions with communications systems and whatnot in them just like here. That's to be expected, but the point is that before this, there were no concepts toward the importance of individually tracking time as such. Clocks, time pieces and other such things were available. To actually have a device that takes up no additional manipulator or storage space other than an appendage?

Wild.

So the concept took off. There's now even sport watches available for tentacled creatures that can accurately track the number of movements they've made in a day. Available for everyone, every species, everywhere: The currently known sole contribution to galactic society that Humans have made to date.

i know its the mets, but this is the coolest shit i’ve ever seen a human being do

[humbuns]

ray of light 🍀

[deimcs]

DRAGON AGE: THE VEILGUARD / inner circle

[azuremallone]

*when the villain in the movie is an alien*

Viewers who are Humans: Ah, the alien is a mindless killer. Makes sense.

Viewers who aren't Humans: Ah, Humans screaming and attacking her after they startled her. Makes sense.

[azuremallone]

If I were an anime character...

The beast in front of my beautiful True form is my Human form.

[t4t4t]

Hi !

I got bottom surgery on July 25th :3

I'm recovering well but I'll be on bedrest for a while. Collie and I will need rent help for September/food/gas/utilities/etc. Two disabled trans women. Anything helps ! Thank yall so much for all you've helped so far, it's saved my life ❤️

https://venmo.com/u/nora-esther-rose

https://www.paypal.me/NoraEstherRose

https://venmo.com/u/Leah-Esther-Rose

https://www.paypal.me/androgynophore