#we'll still go home
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Really somehow can't deal with how Gi-hun told Sang-woo "let's go home" after everything that happened. After everything Gi-hun saw Sang-woo do, after everything Sang-woo said to Gi-hun, after their fight where they were literally biting and stabbing each other. But then Sang-woo is lying on the floor helpless, with a gun pointed at him because he'll be shot as soon as Gi-hun wins the game and instead of doing it, winning the game, getting all this money, letting his friend who tried to kill him die.. instead he turns around and says "I'm done, I want to stop here" and "let's go home" like. we've fought enough, we have met people and lost them in the span of days and we have been turned against each other, they tried to make us kill each other, but we're done now. Let's go home now. Our moms might not be calling us for dinner, but still we're done playing so let's go Home
#or btw just for info#in the english dub he actually says 'let's go together'#but i'm watching in korean and both my german and the english subtitles say 'let's go home' so i'm taking that as the actual meaning of what#gihun is saying#anyways#like the hnnnng#the#sangwoo saying when we were young we would play like this and our moms would call us inside for dinner#but nobody calls anymore#and gihun saying lets go home as in let's go home anyways#even if nobody is there to greet us even if nobody is asking us to come back#we'll still go home#together#just#ahhh#gihun i love you i love you i love you#man that whole last game scene i could watch it over and over and over again#it's so good and so devastating and so emotional and beautifully filmed and directed and written#masterpiece#lea's random thoughts#squid game#cho sang woo#cho sangwoo#seong gi hun#seong gihun#like#they literally got so far and they lost so much they are both at a worse point than they were before they entered the games#but Still#gihun tells him to go home together#even though all of it was for nothing then but still he wants to go home if it means his best friend doesn't have to die
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literally makes me sick how bluntly tommy dumps buck... the "buck" at the end is so cruel. reverting to the worst version of yourself because you're confronted with your insecurities without even making that conscious choice, it coming out like instinct and breaking both hearts in the process. it's so juicy delicious gorgeous
#buck literally did nothing in that moment that required that response i genuinely do not understand how the fandom consensus is he “fumbled”#tommy when the most interesting part about the breakup (and tommy tbh) is that tommy at buck's misstep showed his claws#he could say lets take a break let me go home tonight and we'll talk tomorrow and walk out still bc he wasnt even wrong about where he#thought buck was on his journey but he went full guns ahead#the sad sack tommy who thinks he doesnt deserve love is fine good valid canon#but tommy eating himself in his guilt? believing he's a terrible person bc he was convinced for so long he was and he showed he's still#capable of it??#now we're talking#mimi.txt
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science team-tober day 24: xen
prompt list | science team-tober sideblog
#hlvrai#benrey#scienceteamtober#i love xenian plants so much#the rest of the challenge is probably going to be spotty#i'm dealing with something personal right now and my energy and motivation are much lower#but we'll see#still pretty content with how much i've managed to do#i like to think when benrey needs some time alone#he'll sometimes go back to xen for a bit#maybe your old home isn't the most comfortable#but it's what you know#potionbarrel
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eunyung baek and spring
#i was going for something...may have lost it in the process of the painting but i dunno i still think it looks nice#i almost feel compelled to paint haejoon to match but idk we'll see if i feel up to it#eunyung baek#no home#fanart#my art
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did nora clean or unpack anything today? no. did she write? also no. she did have beer for breakfast, though
#simblr#ts4 edit#sims 4#nora#so she's essentially a hot mess of a human being#a piece of shit and i say it lovingly lmao#she's me if left unchecked#and off my meds ajskfkkshsgkk#real intro to come soon bc i wanna be extra but basically she has familial issues#left home to become a writer#dropped out of uni#maybe will go back?? we'll see#couldn't make it as a writer or afford rent but conveniently inherited her estranged mother's home#so she's living there now#it's a mess and she's a mess and i am v excited to play her#some realistic gameplay!! wooo#still working on some things but cant help myself frm posting bc i am pumped!!! for now#other family idea is on hold for her bc my heart tells me she is the one#<3#summer save#200
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did anyone else know The Last Unicorn had a sequel??? i didn't know that
anyway, i want whatever tf molly grue and shmendrick have going on

#not wc#(i think this may be implying they just never got officially married in a legal sense but i still like the potential vagueness)#sry this book doesnt rly count as xenofiction#but im p sure the last unicorn does since most of it is her pov#shhh its fine#the last unicorn#the way home#<- title of the book if u want to know#i bought this at random bc i like the authors writing style#i had no idea it was in the last unicorn world until They showed up#good for them. whatever they're doing.#this narrator is a little kid who wanted to go personally yell at the king#and then molly and shmen found her wandering aimlessly around the woods so theyre like#oh word sure we'll take you to the king weird child#we know that guy hes just having a bit of a depression episode ever since his gf turned into a unicorn and fucked off forever#this book does the opposite of warrior cats where everytime the kid tries to get them to give her exposition about what happened-#-in the previous story they just refuse to answer#'what do u mean there was a different castle that fell into the ocean what happened with that--'#'dont worry about it kid its completely irrelevant'
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I'm very glad I'm as stable in my sobriety as i am bc i am definitely having cravings but I'm still able to think that it's not the answer.
#would being black out drunk feel good and be nice? yes for a few hours very much so#but then the consequences#and there would be many#my next therapy appointment is Tuesday#I'm gonna call tomorrow and see if i cant go a day early#i took away my husband's credit card#or well i told him 'i dont think you're someone who can use a CC responsibly'#and he is leaving it home and i put it in my desk#he is also giving me his bank account password and I'm check both of our accounts every Friday when i go over the budget#there's still a lot of apologies coming from my husband#i think he understands just how much he's fucked up#i told him that for me the last year is tainted now#every moment we shared for the last year he was lying to me#i look back and i feel sick#he might go spend a few nights at his parents to give me space to process and grieve#he doesn't want to tell him parents what he's done tho so i dont know what he'll say to them if he does go there for a few nights#he is also starting therapy asap to work through whatever caused this#and we'll be doing couples therapy in a few months#i still cant believe 10.000 is just gone#anyway#I'm sober and safe#and working on healing#ben gets personal
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til next time Lighter.. 🫡..😔
#sigma grindset my ass off on hardmode too#brute forced under leveled#still wasnt enough#but granted i started late#the haul was satisfying#i'm an oldschool gamer thats used to progression and skill to advance rather than just luck based#noob gacha player here lol#we'll get em next time#billy is waiting on his bro to join the party#lighter zzz#lighter lorenz#zzzero#zenless zone zero#looking forward to more cause I enjoy the characters and worldbuilding#video game#hoyoverse#gacha bluez 🥲#pookie will come home next go around
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hi, i'm still alive — i'm still SICK and also still working, so i've been — kinda, not all the way here. i've still been lurking on the dash, but i can't even promise that rn. your best bet is catching me on discord, but even that's been fickle, due to the nature of my job. so ??? i mean, i'm still here, i'm still alive — y'all just hold out a little longer for me.
#✘ — [ ooc ]#tbd#oh yeah#happy new year and such —#i worked from 3pm to 2am new years eve :'))#i am not having a good time.#BUT !! i do have...tues through fri off next week !!#we're also still in the process of moving the new roommate in ( another reason i haven't been here )#but hopefully we'll have that done soon so i can spend my entire break from work here !#but we'll see.#i've been treating myself to one game of league when i get home from work#before going to bed#that screenshot is from tonight's game ALSKJDFL#anyway#love y'all#take care of yourselves out there#drink some water#get some sleep —#feel free to ask for my discord if you don't have it already !!
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dumb! dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb!!
#being a clingy drunk is sooooooo stupid#did i spend a good portion of the night attached to her side? yes#do i literally get to go home/to bed with her? yes#am i still ''jealous'' and want her to be cuddling with me instead of our friends? ALSO YES#it's ok when we go to bed we'll be in the same bed probably tipsy and on vacation so i will get my quality alone time#i am being irrational and possessive and clingy rn and even drunk i understand that these are outlandish wants#and i can totally survive without her and this is super stupid and none of it matters bc at the end of the day we are in love#but ughhhhhh i'm drunk and she should devote alll her attention to meeeeeeeeee#tea talks#drunk tea#gf posting
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a brief moment of much needed calm
#puppy is being a puppy and has too much energy and wants to jump on her big brother and play and fight#but he is on forced rest until thursday when he goes back to the vet to have his stitches removed. and even after he should still rest#took her to the dog park earlier so she's nice and tired and finally napping for a change#i am mcfreakin exhausted lads i will not lie lol#i'm here for at least the next 9-10 days before i have to go back home and back to work so we'll see where we stand later this week
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More coherent thoughts about today's pokemon horizons episode in the tags
#vi rambling#pokemon#losing my mind over my fav characters childhood pictures. i do find it interesting that his childhood seems genuinely very happy#because it's definitely not what i pictured seeing how cold and aloof he grew up to be.#i gather his mother died in a car crash (i heavily suspect thats not the real cause but we will see about that) so i assume that could#cause his withdrawn nature#but something that stood out to me is that these pictures are framed and displayed.#which means his childhood both happy and he remembers it as such as its framed in his home and in his room (or what i assume is his room)#definitely seemed closer to his mother than his father which seems to deepen after she passed on.#which are nice details !! they betray expectations but draw more parallels between him and liko tbh#both come from deeply flawed families but they were raised with a lot of care in that sense.#because even after his mother passed away it seems hamber was the one who raised him#i just hope we'll know more about his mother and that she will have a significant role because... theres too many thematic threads#that need to be tied to her. to allow her to go so unaddressed. mostly Who did gibeon have a child with#how did he get out of that ravine. what happened during the rest of his life . etc etc.#i see more and more threads being pulled into the direction that spinel has known gibeon for a while and that gibeon trusts him#and they have a weird secretive bond.#contrary to popular (and amethio's) belief im still doubtful hes going to betray gibeon#and more leaning into the possibility of both of them “betraying” hamber and amethio. considering everything we know about future episodes#I'll have to wait for subs tomorrow but these are things that come to mind.
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my ideal night out is i have an early tea, we meet in a bar walking distance from my house at about 7, hit a few different nice bars and then i'm home by midnight...... tonight we're meeting for pres at my friend's flat, which is a 40 minute walk from mine, at 9pm, then going to a techno event at a club that is another 40 minute walk from the flat and ends at 4am 😬
#like. in my mind i'm ubering to my friend's house and we're at pres for 2 hours#and then we uber to the club and i stay for about an hour before walking home#would still be able to get home by midnight!#BUT where this plan falls down is if my friends aren't down with it#like what do i do if my friends are like ''oh i thought we would get to the club at around 1am'' like ???#i already bought a ticket to the event so i will be going#but like. let's be completely fucking honest about my limitations ok#oh well#we'll see#i'll look hot at least!!#🧃
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Ok so last Sunday church made me want to kms so let's hope it's not as bad this week
#I HATE HAVING RELIGIOUS FAMILY AND I HATE THAT I'M STILL OBLIGATED TO GO EVEN AS AN ADULT!!!!#Telling them I want to stop going/go elsewhere or just. Not coming home on weekends#Would warrant like. An Intervention Bible study#I've gone through those before and they fucking suck#''Read the verses that tell you that you deserve to burn in Hell this weekend and we'll discuss on Monday'' Fuuuuckkk no#They're nice people I just hate the church we go to#And there's nothing horribly world endingly bad about that church either#I just disagree with the pastor and have too many awful memories there#.thoughts#negative#delete later
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YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP BEING YOUR FATHER'S DAUGHTER. YOU HAVE TO RESIST FROM BECOMING ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE. YOU BELIEVED THAT ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS WALK AWAY TO BE YOURSELF. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE FREE BUT YOU WERE NEVER REALLY GOING TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR FATHER. YOU BELIEVED THAT THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO KILL HIM BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET TO HIM. YOUR FATHER AND (potential) HUSBAND ARE IN COLLUSION. A FATHER AND A HUSBAND ARE THE SAME. YOU'LL NEVER BE FREE.
夫权的背后是关起门来的父权... 你再孤勇奋战也会被拉回泥潭里。
(SOCIETY IF THE WHOLE SHOW WAS EPISODE 18 aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh)
#don't return home just to kill your father...staying at home to kill your father is the yourself killer...babygirl just leave#ALSO the 大理寺 troops (by fyx's command AND imperial edict) being the one to protect zhy's dad from being killed by her#truly is the fucking cherry on the cake. the political system is literally built and operated by men to protect the patriarch#and prevent it from being dismantled. it will just keep feeding itself#anyway sorry i also kept thinking about how much better that opening confrontation scene would be if cdl could act...#i didnt mind the lack of acting/mediocre acting skills of the leads so much the rest of the time... but that scene was too good...#other than that bit of misfortune. im so serious if i say this might be the show's best episode and it will peak here forever#ive seen where the story end up going after this in ep 19. but it still doesnt change that ep 18 was so fucking well made#this could have gone on to become a whole different better show. but oh well we'll just simply contend to smth enjoyable only#my posts#雁回时
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you know you've hit rock bottom when by the end of the session your therapist hits the head in hands pose and goes "let's. l-let's just try to stay alive for now. n-no meds we'll just focus on finding the reasons to keep you here"
#we actually talked about possible meds options but. we just don't know what to go with jdkskskd#the ONLY antidepressants that worked on me are made only where i live and they literally taste like acid#and this is not even me exaggerating my therapist said this stuff could probably burn your stomach if you took too much. yikes#and they're like VERY strong so like. i'll probably need something just as strong. can i just get lobotomy atp#at least i brought my sunday plushie with me. i kept it in the backpack the entire time#but maybe one day he'll actually participate....#my mom took me taking sunday there so seriously like she kept asking for updates#and when i was done she was like “is sunny still there with you”#and i sent her a pic of him and i was like “we'll be home soon :)” and she was like “good job you two”#anyway bro yeah im trying. im trying#though tbh the problem is. not me having no reason to live but more like#having all the reasons and motivation but feeling like i don't deserve it#so it was like before sunday drip marketing “YAYAYAYAYAY I'LL DEFINITELY GET HIM I'LL DEFINITELY GET HIM”#and then after i was like “HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME STAY ALIVE FOR YOU” 😭😭#i-it's okay if it doesn't make sense to you im just. saying stuff#[ 💚 𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐬 ]#mmaybe i'll post a linagram vd tomorrow
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