#anyway sorry i also kept thinking about how much better that opening confrontation scene would be if cdl could act...

[rinbylin]

-

YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP BEING YOUR FATHER'S DAUGHTER. YOU HAVE TO RESIST FROM BECOMING ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE. YOU BELIEVED THAT ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS WALK AWAY TO BE YOURSELF. YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BE FREE BUT YOU WERE NEVER REALLY GOING TO GET AWAY FROM YOUR FATHER. YOU BELIEVED THAT THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO KILL HIM BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET TO HIM. YOUR FATHER AND (potential) HUSBAND ARE IN COLLUSION. A FATHER AND A HUSBAND ARE THE SAME. YOU'LL NEVER BE FREE.

夫权的背后是关起门来的父权... 你再孤勇奋战也会被拉回泥潭里。

(SOCIETY IF THE WHOLE SHOW WAS EPISODE 18 aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh)

[aishangotome]

Azel Radwan: Chapter 14 Premium Story

Chapter 14

Thank you @passthechloroform for providing the video for this chapter!

♡———♡

When I returned to the solitary desert castle, Azel was waiting for me, looking down from the upper floor.

His mystical, inhuman eyes were initially lit with a cold color, but perhaps noticing the change in me as I rubbed my eyes repeatedly, the air around him shifted.

Azel: Are you... crying?

Emma: There are circumstances–

Azel: What on earth did they talk about with you to make you cry so much?

Azel: No, is it about me...? I can't understand why you would cry over that little bit of information.

(What do I do, I think he's misunderstanding.)

Just as I opened my mouth to explain, he quickly disappeared into the depths of the building.

Azel returned shortly, holding a wet linen cloth in his hand.

He forcefully wiped around my eyes with the tightly wrung linen, and I let him.

(This isn't an illusion or anything. If this warmth is an illusion, then I won't be able to believe anything I see.)

Azel: Stop crying already, it's an eyesore.

Azel: Did they tell you that I was brainwashing you like some spoiled rich kid?

Azel: But as you know, I only control with money.

Azel: I haven't done anything like secretly burning some strange incense to brainwash you.

Azel: In the first place, people can be controlled much more easily without resorting to such underhanded tactics.

Azel: –No, that's not right. Anyway, you're not the kind of woman to be swayed by others.

Azel: Have some confidence. And stop crying. It makes me look like the bad guy... Well, I might be the bad guy.

Azel, who continued to speak without pause, seemed at a loss for how to deal with a human who kept crying.

(He's probably... trying to comfort me, right?)

(I'm the only one who knows this side of him. That's why no one can believe in Azel.)

*earlier*

Clavis: Emma, do you recognize the scent of this fragrant wood?

A few hours ago – Clavis opened the lid of the small bottle containing the wood piece and handed it to me.

Emma: I don't... recognize it.

Clavis: That's good. If you did, I was prepared to confront God myself.

Emma: ...You're concerned that I might also be under some kind of mind control, aren't you, Clavis?

Clavis: No, no, I'm certainly not doubting love, but...

Clavis: Since we found this, it's better to be safe than sorry.

Clavis: It's quite possible that God is pulling the strings behind the scenes of that gathering.

Emma: But Azel seemed to dislike the apostle.

Emma: Their ideologies are different, I can't imagine them joining hands...

Clavis: Oh? That's news to me.

Luke: Even if what you're saying is true, God didn't stop that riot.

Luke: Even though he could have...

Emma: That's...

Luke: Whether they get along or not, God is condoning the apostle's actions.

Luke: At that point, you could say he's an accomplice, right?

Emma: ...Maybe there's some reason.

Silvio: Ha, you're awfully quick to defend him, ain't ya? Do you like that greedy bastard that much?

Emma: Maybe I've grown attached to him after being around him for so long.

Clavis: Love, huh?

Emma: It's not!

Clavis: Haha, don't be shy, don't be shy. Believe me, I want to support you too.

Clavis: But the situation in Tanzanite is changing by the minute.

Clavis: If God has no intention of stopping the riots and is tolerating the apostle's indirect guidance...

Clavis: It wouldn't be strange if he was plotting something.

Silvio: I think the riots are disadvantageous for God, though?

Clavis: Azel might be finding some benefit within this "disadvantageous situation."

Luke: Whatever the purpose, the scale of the riots might increase in the future.

Luke: Wouldn't it be dangerous for you to be by God's side then?

Emma: ...

Clavis: Your safety is far more important than exposing God's secrets.

Clavis: The infatuation incidents have calmed down recently, haven't they?

Clavis: With the two maids severely punished, no one bothers you unnecessarily anymore.

Clavis: I don't know what happened to you, but now, including Silvio, the three of us can protect you.

Silvio: Don't drag me into babysittin' a woman.

Luke: Don't you want to come back now, Emma?

*back to present*

(Originally, I ended up staying at this temple because of the aphrodisiac incident.)

(I think if I return to the castle now, I'll be treated with respect as the woman God is infatuated with.)

(I don't like that, but as Clavis and Luke said, the situation is changing by the minute.)

(Even aside from those circumstances, it must be a nuisance for Azel to lend me a corner of his private room for a long period.)

(I'm only here because of my selfishness, so I could brace myself and choose to return to the castle... but...)

Emma: I'm... sorry...

Azel: What are you apologizing for? What are you apologizing for?

Emma: I'm not crying because I'm sad.

(...If my selfishness is allowed, I want to stay here a little longer.)

(Until the day I unravel the mystery of the Triple Alliance, break through Azel's illusions, and see the truth–)

Emma: Sand... got in my eyes...

Azel: ...

When I confessed honestly, the linen slipped from Azel's hand.

Emma: It was windy on my way here.

Emma: It hurts... and the tears won't stop.

Azel: ...........

Emma: What should I do in times like this?

Azel: ...I don't know, goodbye, please don't expect God's mercy ever again.

Emma: I'm really in trouble!

Azel: I don't care, damn it.

Emma: You were the one who jumped to conclusions, Prince Azel–

Azel: You're the one to blame for being misleading.

Azel: And stop rubbing your eyes! If there's sand in them, you'll scratch your eyeballs. Are you that much of an idiot that you don't even understand that?

He grabs my hand firmly and pulls it away from my eyes.

Despite his harsh words, he can't hide the hints of worry that surface.

Emma: Hehe... Thank you.

Azel: Shall I torture you with water?

Emma: That's not something a God would do!

Azel: An evil God might.

(Then I'm sure it'll be alright.)

(He's just greedy for money, I can say for sure that he's not an evil God.)

-

After taking a bath, the tears finally stopped, and the foreign body sensation in my eyes disappeared.

Emma: I've calmed down... Thank you.

When I returned to the room, Azel was silently moving his pen at the desk.

Perhaps still sulking, he only glanced at me and didn't reply.

Emma: Is that a divine message?

Azel: Don't ask if you already know.

Azel is always serious when writing divine messages to deliver to the people in the castle in the morning.

He continues to spin instructions without stopping, occasionally checking reports.

Despite calling it a "divine message," I've never seen him use any divination tools, and everything he writes is left entirely to Azel's mind.

Azel: ...What are you staring at?

Azel: You'd usually be reading a book in the corner.

Emma: That's true, but my eyes hurt today, so I don't feel like reading...

Azel: Then sleep.

Emma: It's too early to sleep...

Azel: Then meditate.

Emma: Is there anything I can help you with?

Azel: No.

(...There isn't, huh?)

Even as we speak, Azel's hand doesn't stop.

Only the pleasant sound of the pen melts into the desert night.

(Azel didn't stop the people's conflict. That's a fact.)

(The riot might eventually become the beginning of Tanzanite's collapse.)

(But, if he were a God who didn't care about Tanzanite...)

(I don't think he would be facing official documents like this late at night.)

Living in Tanzanite, you can see that people's lives are surprisingly affluent for a desert country.

This is because trade with other countries is successful, ensuring a minimum standard of living without any shortage of food or water.

Whether it's foreign or domestic affairs, Tanzanite is politically successful.

A part of it – no, all of it is probably thanks to Azel.

The great ship that is Tanzanite is entirely steered by the God.

Listening to the conversations with the messengers who come every morning, I felt like that wasn't an exaggeration.

Emma: ...Prince Azel, you're truly amazing.

Azel: Huh?

Emma: There's no divine message that is completed in an instant with mystical power.

Emma: Since I learned that a divine message is created only after putting your heart and soul into it like this every day, I've come to respect you.

Azel: Well, I'm not putting my heart and soul into it, but...

Emma: You continue this every single day, without rest.

Emma: Not just anyone can do that.

Azel: That's because I'm a God.

Emma: I think it's because it's you, Prince Azel...

The pen, which hadn't stopped no matter what I said, came to a sudden halt.

Azel: Isn't it the same meaning?

Emma: No, it's completely different.

Emma: You said the difference between a God and a human is whether they can predict the future, right?

Emma: Even if predicting the future is what makes a God, it's you, Prince Azel, who puts that into policy.

Azel: ...

Emma: So, it's not the power of a God, but your power, Prince Azel.

Azel: ...I haven't thought about it that way. It's common sense in this country that it's only natural for a God to be able to do it.

Azel: There's almost no one who thinks like you do.

Emma: ...Have I imposed the values of a foreign country?

Azel: Ah, at least it's better not to say that to the people of Tanzanite.

Azel: What you just said is tantamount to denying the mystical.

(Did I make him uncomfortable?)

Azel: But...

Azel: ...I like it.

Emma: ...? I couldn't hear you well...

Azel: It's nothing.

Emma: Wah!

Azel stands up, picks me up, and throws me onto the bed.

As I try to get up, he forcefully holds my head down, burying it in the pillow.

Emma: What are you doing!?

Azel: I'm trying to put you to sleep because you're so noisy.

Emma: I'll be quiet now!

Azel: No, you'll never be quiet.

The hand holding my face down isn't rough, and I can tell he's being careful.

It's unbearably ticklish and unsettling.

Azel: ...Haah, I thought I could finally sleep peacefully alone again from today.

Azel: I can't believe those guys in Rhodolite would send you back to an evil God.

Emma: I was the one who said–

*earlier*

Luke: Don't you want to come back now, Emma?

Emma: I'm sorry for making you worry. But I think I'll stay at the temple a little longer.

Clavis: So love wins after all–

Emma: It's not like that...

Emma: If I'm gone, God will surely cry.

*flashback over*

Emma: –So in order not to make Prince Azel cry, I'll stay a little longer...

Emma: That... hurts, it hurts!

Azel's fingers tighten, and I thrash about.

Azel: That's slander, I'll sue you for damages again. This time it'll be a huge amount.

Emma: But really, isn't it a shame to let go of someone who can cook?

Azel: Not at all.

Emma: It's a shame, isn't it? I could see the tears in your heart, Prince Azel.

Azel: Go see a doctor tomorrow. You're in a serious condition where you're seeing hallucinations.

Emma: ...Hehe.

Azel: What's so funny?

Emma: It's strange, isn't it? Even though you're a God right in front of me...

Emma: I feel like I can be more myself when I'm with you than with anyone else.

Azel: ...

(This is a dilapidated solitary castle, but it's much more comfortable than the royal palace.)

Emma: Maybe it's because you have such a bad personality that I can say anything without holding back...

Emma: Eek...!

Azel, who usually pulls my cheeks, doesn't get angry or reprimand me, but laughs in exasperation.

However, it was a soft smile, like the moonlight.

Azel: Slander again... You're really good at accumulating debt, aren't you?

Emma: ...That might be true.

My heart skips a beat at the gentleness in his mystical eyes, at the sweetness in his voice, and I dive under the blanket.

Perhaps Azel also thought I intended to sleep, as he didn't say anything more, and the calming sound of the pen started to echo through the room again.

(What was that just now...?)

-

(Azel's POV)

I roll the pen on the desk, close the lid of the ink, and head for the bed.

The first occupant was curled up at the edge of the bed.

She was maintaining a precarious balance, just barely avoiding falling off, but a single slight movement would send her tumbling to the floor, prompting a click of my tongue.

Azel: Can you please stop this, day after day?

I carefully lift her body so as not to wake her and move her to the center of the bed.

She's probably unaware of this nightly routine that has become a habit.

Azel: Even so... I bet her eyes will be swollen tomorrow.

Even with her eyelids closed, the area around her eyes, illuminated by the moonlight, was tinged with red.

There's no sign of her waking up even when I lightly trace it with my fingertip.

Azel: Well, it's none of my business.

Azel: ...It's none of my business...

Azel: ..............

As if struggling with something, I furrow my brow deeply—

And then, I gently brush aside the bangs of the sleeping lodger and lightly kiss her eyelid.

Azel: ...There's no such thing as God's protection in reality.

Azel: If this heals by tomorrow, I'm really not human.

Azel: ...........

Azel: ………… What am I doing?

.

.

.

Chapter 15

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[starryhyuck]

can i request a best friend haechan with a corruption kink?? i love your work 🥺❤️

clueless; 2.4k+

this is so cliché and i love it

hyuck has been your best friend since you were nine. his toothy grin and curly hair practically sold you as he tugged you along for his wild adventures.

you both never strayed far from one another, even as you grew older and met new people.

you shared everything with hyuck except for one thing — your sex life. well, the lack of it actually.

you lost your virginity to lee jeno when you were seventeen, and it was probably one of the worst experiences of your life. it wasn’t jeno’s fault since he didn’t exactly know what he was doing either, but the lack of foreplay really brought you nothing but pain. he apologized after when he realized how uncomfortable you were, but the deed was already done.

hyuck’s had a few girlfriends here and there but nobody really stuck around. you knew he was sexually experienced though from the way other girls would talk about him. let’s just say you’ve heard your best friend is above average in size.

however, hyuck has never asked you about any of your sexual encounters the same way you haven’t confronted him about his. it’s the only thing you two don’t share — that is, until you get wasted on your birthday.

“donghyuckie,” you whine, leaning on him. he laughs and wraps an arm around your waist to keep you steady.

“how much have you had to drink?” he asks with an amused expression. you’ve interrupted a conversation with him and jeno. oddly enough, you and jeno don’t speak of the night you lost your virginities to each other. it would just make everything awkward, and you assume he hasn’t told hyuck either.

“jaemin’s trying to kiss me,” you mumble, not answering his question.

“jaemin tries to kiss everybody,” jeno chuckles.

you just sigh. “i need to get laid.”

hyuck’s eyebrows shoot up. “excuse me?”

“i’ve only been laid once, hyuck! and jeno was really bad!”

jeno’s face turns beet red and hyuck’s eyes darken.

“what did you just say?”

you don’t get to clarify before you’re being pulled away by renjun, who is insisting you open his birthday gift because he worked really hard on it. after you leave, hyuck turns to jeno with pure anger radiating off of him.

jeno gulps.

—

you don’t remember most of the events from your party other than the fact that you got completely trashed. hyuck is there to help you with your hangover and he doesn’t say anything when you keep complaining.

“my head hurts! why did you make me drink so much last night?”

“i didn’t make you do anything.”

you notice he’s a little more tense and curt with you today, but you don’t comment on it. he’s probably just hungover too.

it isn’t until a few days later when you realize how weird hyuck’s been acting. he hasn’t been hanging out with you often and when he does, he gets really frustrated and leaves. he keeps asking you weird questions like “you tell me everything, right?” and “what do you think about jeno?”

the whole situation’s really odd, and you approach jeno since he seems to be receiving the cold shoulder from hyuck too.

“do you know what’s wrong with hyuck? he’s been acting so weird lately.”

jeno frowns. “y/n, do you not remember what you said at your party?”

you mirror his expression. “no. what did i say?”

“fuck,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair in exasperation. “you told hyuck we slept together.”

“i did what?” you hiss loudly, causing jeno to smile politely at anyone who heard the commotion. “no, no, no. no way! i did not do that!”

“yes you did! you even told everyone i was really bad!”

“i mean, you were.”

you both sigh and you pinch the bridge of your nose. “why would hyuck care if we slept together anyways?” you ask him, and jeno rolls his eyes.

“just as clueless as ever.”

“hey!”

—

hyuck can’t stop thinking about you. this is bad. really bad.

he almost killed jeno that night for even touching you. jeno insisted that you two only slept together once and that it was a one time thing. hyuck was still troubled by the idea, and he couldn’t really fall asleep.

he kept thinking about you underneath jeno, moaning and crying for him to fuck you. and as days passed, he imagined it was him instead of jeno. pounding into you, coaxing you to your climax and whispering sweet things in your ear — hyuck wanted it to be him.

fuck jeno.

you’re super inexperienced and hyuck knows it. you get embarrassed whenever a sex scene comes on in a movie and you always grow uncomfortable whenever a random person compliments you. you also confirmed it yourself at your birthday party by saying jeno’s been the only guy who’s fucked you.

fuck jeno.

hyuck can fuck you way better. he wants to ruin you. he wants to make sure you forget everything about jeno — he wants to ram his cock into you until you’re begging for more. he wants to be your actual first, not a placeholder that jeno supposedly is.

fuck jeno.

he can make you feel good. he can show you what a nice fuck is supposed to be like. before he knows it, his hand is pumping up and down his hard cock as he imagines pounding into you. he wants to see you so pliant and submissive underneath him, begging him to fuck you harder and show you how you’re supposed to be fucked-

he groans when there’s a knock at the door.

he angrily pulls on a pair of sweatpants and swings the front door open before he can check on who it is. you stand behind it, a clear frown on your face.

his cock twitches at the sight of you.

“you asshole! why aren’t you answering any of my calls?”

“i didn’t see them,” he grumbles as you storm inside. he closes the door behind you, watching as you observe him.

“i’m sorry for what i said at the party the other day. jeno told me about it.”

so now you’re talking to jeno again. that’s just wonderful.

“it’s fine, y/n. don’t worry about it,” he sighs, moving past you.

you quickly stand in front of him to stop his movements. “i know it’s not fine! you’re clearly upset. i’m sorry i fucked your friend, okay? it was a one time thing. i haven’t even thought about jeno in that way since we did it.”

“y/n, it’s not even that!” he yells and you grow confused. “fuck. why didn’t you come to me when you needed to do that stuff?”

you blink. this was not what you expected him to say.

“what are you talking about?”

hyuck takes a step closer to you and you inhale. “why didn’t you let me show you how it is to get fucked, baby? why did you go to him? you know i could’ve made you feel better.”

you stutter. “u-um, h-hyuck this isn’t-“

“has anyone touched you since then?” he runs his fingers down your arm and you get goosebumps from his touch. “have you touched yourself?”

“i-i don’t really l-like doing that,” you murmur, avoiding his heavy gaze.

“you don’t put your fingers inside your pretty little pussy, baby?” he murmurs, forehead pressing against yours.

“h-hyuck, don’t say things like that!”

“tell me to stop then.”

there’s a beat of silence.

he growls, wrapping his arms around you and pressing your body against his. you squeak. “yeah? you wanna be fucked good, don’t you? wanna bounce on my cock until you’re full?” you whimper and hyuck goes rabid at the noise. he presses his mouth to yours and you reciprocate, not even thinking twice that you’re kissing your best friend. you moan into his mouth when his hands trail down to the curve of your ass.

“i’m gonna fuck you so good, baby,” he whispers against your mouth. “you’ll only think about me from now on.”

he grinds his cock onto you and your eyes widen at the feeling.

“see? see how hard you make me, baby? you’re gonna be filled to the brim with my cock.”

“please, hyuck,” you whine, clutching onto him.

“want me?”

“y-yes.”

he guides you to his bedroom and throws you on the bed. you stare up at him with innocent, doe eyes and hyuck is convinced he’s going fucking insane.

“you don’t know what you do to me, y/n. fuck.”

he shimmies your jeans down your legs and you wish you had worn a sexier pair of panties. hyuck doesn’t seem to mind, taking a lick up your clothed slit. you twitch at the feeling and he smiles up at you.

“so sensitive,” he remarks, pulling your underwear down. you feel bashful when you’re fully on display for him, especially since hyuck is looking at your pussy like it’s the eighth wonder of the world.

“hyuck,” you whine, squirming in your spot.

“sorry, baby,” he chuckles. “your pussy’s so pretty.”

you ignore his compliment, feeling embarrassed by the position you’re currently in. hyuck dives into you, licking and sucking at your folds. your back arches and you cry out, a new sensation filling your body. he holds you down with his arms, pinning you to the bed.

he slides a finger into you and you moan, gripping a fistful of his hair. he groans when you tug at his locks. when he enters a second finger inside your pussy and takes your clit into his mouth, the cord in you snaps. you unravel on his fingers and tongue, moaning his name as you cum.

it’s a blinding experience, something jeno never gave you. you whisper hyuck’s name as you ride out the waves of your orgasm.

when you come to, hyuck is kissing your neck. “good orgasm, baby? was it your first one?” you nod, head spinning a little. he smirks against your skin. “that’s right. i’m officially your first.”

he sits up and takes off his sweatpants, letting his cock spring up. your eyes widen at the sight of him. all those girls were right — hyuck was massive. you didn’t even know if he could fit inside of you.

“i don’t think you can fit inside me, hyuck.”

he chuckles lowly. “your pretty pussy was made for me to fuck, baby. i’ll make it fit,” he says confidently, pumping his cock up and down slowly. you watch as precum leaks from the tip. “wanna have a taste?”

“i-i don’t know how.”

he groans, fisting over his cock faster. “i’ll show you, baby. sit up for me.” you follow his orders, falling on your knees and gazing up at him. “good girl.”

you eye his cock and he motions for you to follow the same movements as him. you place your hand on his cock as he instructs, moving it up and down. your hand looks so small on his thick cock and you watch in amazement as more precum falls. you lean forward and take the tip of your mouth, surprising hyuck as he jolts. he shoves his cock deeper into your throat and you gag a little.

his hands fly to the back of your head as he slowly fucks your mouth.

“such a good girl,” he grunts. “suck my cock so well.”

you close your eyes as you take more of him in, saliva starting to drip down the sides of your mouth. you think you’re doing well since hyuck’s making all kinds of noises, going crazy at the sight of you blowing him.

he thrusts into you a few more times before pulling out, groaning when he does.

“i have to fuck you now, baby. have a big load of cum for you.”

you whimper. “but i wanted to taste it.”

he growls, shoving you back down on the bed. “i’ll let you taste it later. i need to fuck you now.”

he pumps himself a few more times before lining his cock to your entrance. he looks up at you one more time.

“you sure?”

this time, he’s not just speaking as a horny teenage boy, but as your best friend. he’s giving you a way out, but you don’t want it. you want to feel his cock in your tummy.

“yes, yes. take me, hyuck, please.”

and that’s all the confirmation he needs. he plunged into you and you wail. you haven’t been stretched like this since jeno, and hyuck is way bigger than him. you can feel the burn in your throat and you sob.

“i’m right here, baby,” he assures you, lacing his fingers through yours. “right here for you.”

the pain quickly subsides into pleasure and you try to roll your hips down on his cock. he grunts and starts picking up his pace, ramming into you.

“wanted this for so fucking long,” he confesses, biting down on his lower lip as he thrusts into you. “feel your pretty pussy clenching around my cock, baby. now you’ll only think about me, won’t you? think about how my fat cock stretches you out? how i ate your small pussy until you fell apart?”

“only think about you, only think about you,” you blubber, mind blank. you’re only thinking about how he’s pounding into you, turning your brain into complete mush.

he chuckles as he watches you envelop yourself into mind numbing pleasure. he takes pride in knowing he’s the only one who can do this to you.

“i knew you were a dirty girl,” he laughs sinisterly. he hoists your legs on his shoulders so he can fuck you at a deeper angle. you practically sob at how hard he’s fucking you. “begging to be fucked. how’s it feel? you like how my cock sinks into you? like how deep i am inside your tight pussy?”

“l-love it, h-hyuck,” you whimper. your eyes roll back at how deep he feels inside you.

you reach your second climax in no time and he groans, hips moving at a rapid pace. you feel like jelly underneath him as you let him use you any way he wants.

he shoots his load deep inside you, moaning at how much he has to give you. you feel warm and filled to the brim with his cum.

he leans down to press a gentle kiss to your lips.

“good for your second time?”

“you’re my first, as far as i’m concerned.”

he smiles in victory.

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

I’m sorry, but can I just go on a little rant about the Louis, clouis, and the Clem comic...? 

I didn’t really talk about Louis in my overall review of the comic because I wanted that to be more contained to the content shown on the pages, Clementine’s relationship with AJ, and her as a character.... but the more I think about these comics and Louis, the more frustrated I become thinking about what Clementine abandoning everyone would do to him. 

[... okay it’s not little anymore since I guess I can never just do anything simple when it comes to Louis, sorry my bad]

So, no surprise, we all know the comic’s bullshit by now. Clementine leaving everything and everyone behind because she’s not happy is dumb, AJ just letting her go is dumb, and Clem going to the mountains on crutches and a peg leg to find this so-called happiness is dumb. 

Now that we’ve established it’s dumb, I wanna talk about Louis because I got a lot of built up feelings about how bullshit this storyline is with how Clementine would not only abandon AJ, but also abandon Louis. 

Because let me tell you..... his heart would be broken beyond repair and I need to talk about why.

Sigh.... so.... muh boy. 

Before he met Clementine, Louis was this laidback, irresponsible, but caring and musical person who kept his head down to avoid conflict and never looked at the future. He was the kind of person who took things one day at a time, saw survival as a day-to-day task, and said that the future doesn’t exist, there’s only today. You get the point, he was never too concerned with things because they always seemed to work out, and if they didn’t, then that sucks and that’s why we should appreciate every day while we have it. 

Louis is shown to be charismatic and friendly, he spends his free time playing piano and card games, but no one really takes him seriously. Not even Marlon, his best friend for 8+ years. While he doesn’t seem to be on bad terms with anyone [including Aasim, they just act like people who disagree with the other’s point of view and have had the same argument many times, but that doesn’t mean they hate each other, y’know?] he also doesn’t appear super close with anyone outside of Marlon and possibly Violet, but even then. 

Marlon’s shown to have little faith in him with the way he talks about if Louis will even show up to hunt. He has a controlling grip on Louis that’s prominent during the confrontation scene when he uses intimidation to try to convince Louis to not interfere. Oh, and there’s the fact that Marlon’s been lying to Louis for the past year about the twins and then continued to lie to his face about what really happened to Brody... which isn’t great when you consider how Louis was the only one who had blind faith in him as a leader and, according to Marlon, was the only one who couldn’t see how pathetic he always was. 

Violet, while having a few more nicer moments with him than Marlon, still invalidates him and his feelings several times throughout the first half of the game which makes me wonder how close they ever were, or at least if Violet ever considered him a close friend to begin with. And no, a small monologue in the dorms doesn’t make everything better or confirm they were brotp the whole time... especially when once they’re on the boat, Louis might as well not exist because Violet can’t be bothered to acknowledge what happened to him or inquire about how he’s doing. I guess she just didn’t have time react while standing in her cell for several unbothered minutes-- no wait, it’s she already reacted off screen. Right. Good writing is good.

What I’m getting at here is that even though Louis is surrounded by people who he genuinely cares about, there is an argument to be made that he’s a lonely person. Hell, he’s aware of his loneliness when he says that no one hears past his music and jokes. I mean, how many nights do you think he spent by himself playing the piano because no one wanted to hear it? Are they like Violet and crack jokes about how he doesn’t have actual talent? Probably, given that someone literally carved “you suck at playing” onto the side of the damn piano. 

Oh, and let’s touch on that backstory of his. Louis grew up wealthy with two parents who loved him and each other, and they gave him anything he wanted except singing lessons. Louis says he wanted to be a real musician. But I guess his father didn’t like that idea and told him no, with the [as Louis puts it] dumb dad lesson of, “You get to be happy, or you get to be rich, can’t be both.” ...which is interesting given that Louis and his family were stupid rich but also.... were they not happy? well, that doesn’t make sense because little Louis knew that if he broke up their marriage, they would be hurt. 

So yeah, Louis was so upset that his father continually refused to let him take singing lessons that he broke into the man’s credit cards and faked an affair, which led to his parents divorcing... and then he spit his father’s words back in his face. 

Then they dumped him at Ericson. And the walkers came. 

There’s so much to unpack from the story he tells that it could be it’s own analysis, but basically.... Louis is aware of why what he did was fucked up, and he carries it with him every day. 

He regrets what he did, chews himself out for being such a “vindictive fuckhead” [and the amount of force used in that line tells you a lot, like how it’s not the first time he’s chastised himself like this] and he admits that he doesn’t even know the person he’s talking about. Yet, he still sees himself as bad, saying that they [I assume the staff] told him and the other kids they’re bad people. I don’t doubt that Louis internalized that which played a huge role in the confidence and self-esteem issues he has during tfs. 

Anyway, I’ll come back to this later, but when you take that amount of guilt and regret, and mix it with the fact that they dropped him off at this school that was supposed to make him better.... then the walkers came and those teachers, staff, and headmaster? Gone. Left a bunch of kids to fend for themselves, with the exception of Ms. Martin [but given how she looks when we find her I doubt she lasted that long] and I cannot imagine how horrifying that was for all of them. The dead are up eating people, and if you die you become one of them... and the people you thought you could rely on just fucking left you to die at this school. 

Every kid in that school has trauma and abandonment issues from before and after the world went to shit, every last one, and Louis isn’t the exception here. Over the years, a lot of kids died and they’ve all seen horrible shit. They all knew they were never going to see their families again, and as far as we know, no one came to get their kids at the beginning. They had to find ways of coping while trying to survive, and all they had left was each other. 

Louis copes with music and games and jokes. He’s built up this persona where it seems like he’s unaffected by the comments the others make, that the death and suffering he’s gone through is in the past, that he is confident and open to those around him.

But then Clementine and AJ show up, and Louis grows close with both of them. They had immediate chemistry upon first meeting, he was the one who looked after AJ since it seems like everyone else saw him as a little terror, and he went out of his way to be kind and make them comfortable. 

When they go hunting with him, Louis and Clementine have a moment after taking care of the walker where they lower their guards a bit-- Louis gives her more in-depth reasons for his views of survival, and going off her expression, it gets to her and makes her think.... but they’ve know each other a day and he’s not quick to infodump his life story or let her in, so he cuts the conversation short.

Then we have the Marlon confrontation scene that I have gone over so many times in the past. I won’t dillydally with it too long but..... Clementine appeals to Louis, who curls in on himself because of the control Marlon has on him. He wants to help, and hell, he knows this is wrong but he’s so used to not getting involved that he gets defensive.... plus, he’s known Clementine for two days, and he’s known Marlon for 8+ years.... he wants to believe Marlon but you can tell he doesn’t want this, either. It takes Clementine talking to him to give him courage to stand between her and Marlon’s gun and it’s a lot.

AJ shoots Marlon and everything goes to shit, and Louis is a goddamn mess. His best friend was murderer right in front of him, so add that to the trauma list, and he’s overwhelmed with all these feelings that again.... they keep getting invalidated by Violet because “Marlon was a liar and murderer, therefore you shouldn’t feel bad about his death. Get over yourself, Louis, you can be such a shithead sometimes.” 

Oh yeah Vi, I guess he should care more about two people he’s known for a total of two days rather than for the safety of the people [including you] he’s grown up with and cared about for 8+ years.... makes sense. 

So yeah, little to no support during this time. Alone again. 

And just because I have to make this clear so no one gets a hair up their ass-- both Louis and Violet are wrong here. Kicking them out isn’t the solution, but neither is acting like AJ was right to commit murder just because it was Marlon.

 But plots gotta plot, so they get voted out and you can see that Louis is conflicted about the whole thing. He wants them gone, but at the same time, he knows what kicking them out means. You can see it on his face that he’s not okay with kicking them out. He’s hurting when he’s there in the dorms telling them how the vote went... he literally doesn’t know what else to do. He just knows that everything hurts, Clem and AJ caused it, and he wants the pain to stop. He even tries to justify it to himself by figuring that they’ve done this before so they’ll be fine. Not a great thing to say, Lou. 

Anyway, we know the story, Clem and AJ come back and Louis once again sees the consequences of acting out of pain.... AJ is shot because Louis was hurt and he made a bad decision that he’s gotta live with.... something that he’s done before, and this affirms to him that he’s bad. He wishes he could take it back, and goes as far as to admit that to Clementine during the archery scene. 

By the way, credit to him for his apology to her. It’s rare in these games that Clem gets a genuine apology from someone who hurt her and doesn’t turn around to repeat the hurtful behavior, y’know? Plus, I can think of plenty of characters who owed Clem an apology in the past or if they did apologize, it was half-assed. 

You can feel how conflicted he is with this whole thing-- learning who Marlon really was and what he did, feeling something for Clementine before everything went down and not knowing how to handle those feelings afterward, caring about AJ and understanding why he thought shooting was the best choice but still hurting that his friend is dead.... 

And the thing is.... Louis forgives her for so much, as she does him, and through all of that bullshit, they manage to develop that strong connection that turns romantic. Louis lets himself be fully vulnerable with her and is honest about his feelings, how she listened when no one else did and seeing him for more than just the persona he put on. 

This works on Clementine’s side, too. Clementine has been through her own fair share of bullshit-- trauma, abandonment, loss, injury, you name it. She’s made mistakes, done terrible things, and has been in enough groups to know that romance usually ends in heartbreak.... and yet, she’s willing to open herself up to Louis and admit she feels a lot for him. 

Is it a little rushed? Yep. Could it have been handled better? Of course, most things this season could’ve, but what we got was pretty good. 

So Clementine and Louis are romantically involved now, the raiders attack, and she saves him... and boy does Louis feel guilty about that one, too. He feels bad enough that he questions why she would pick him because he can’t fathom his life being worth saving over another’s. He doesn’t see himself as useful, and even though Clementine is literally his girlfriend at this point, his self-esteem is so all over the place that he can’t understand why she would have him at her side. 

And when Clementine tells him that he’s too important to her, he’s too baffled to even give a response. He looks at her in disbelief like he wasn’t expecting her to say that.  But this shows that at the beginning of their relationship, he still doubts himself, and through her working with him, he begins to build up that strength in himself. 

He becomes brave enough to share what got him sent to the school with her, and he plays Don’t Be Afraid for everyone at the party and like.... for once, everyone is listening to him. Really listening to him. They’re not talking shit about his musical skills, they’re not ignoring him or the feelings he’s putting into the song, they’re sitting there with him and I just..... if you watch him, you can see that his eyes get pretty glossy throughout the song. The moment meant something to everyone. 

There’s also the fact that Clementine asked him to come with her and AJ onto the boat, and to be the one in charge of the bomb... that’s a huge responsibly and he feels the pressure of that. He starts to panic a bit about if he can do it, because what if he fucks up? What if he gets them caught and makes everything worse? What if something happens to Clementine and he can’t do anything about it? 

She’s there to reassure him that she believes in him, and that he can do this. They’re going to get everyone back, and he needs to focus... then he asks her to slap him which why would you? that’s dumb, so Clementine smooches him instead and like.... he physically relaxes into her because he’s comfortable and trusts her in this situation. 

Also, he loves her and cares about this mission enough to cover himself and his fancy jacket in walker guts.... sure, he complains while doing so but how else is he gonna cope with rubbing rotten guts on himself to blend in with a herd of walkers? 

Skipping ahead so that we’re not here all day, I wanna talk about the walk back to the school because it’s one of the most important clouis moments in the game and a huge reason that solidifies why the comic is bullshit.

Louis went off on his own to go out and find them. He didn’t know where they would be, he just knew that he had to go out and find them after making sure everyone was okay back at the school because he couldn’t bare the thought that he had lost them. And the way the AJ gets so excited to see him? and the group hug??

At this point, Louis has grown so much as a character. With Clementine by his side to support him, he’s grown stronger and more reliable. Remember how he never thought about the future? Well, now he is because his relationship with Clementine has given him a reason to long for a future. He talks about building this imaginary house with her, one he knows they can’t physically build... but it’s his way of saying we can build a home together, that he wants a future with her and AJ and everyone else. It’s such a personal conversation that flows so easy between them. Louis is more comfortable talking to her about things from his past, which is something he didn’t want to do back in ep1. 

He confides in her how he’s feeling after he shot and killed Dorian, he tells her that having a home means protecting it and I just.... it’s so good, okay? And from Clementine’s side, you can feel how at ease she is with him, too. Just the way she smiles at him as they’re walking? like he’s the cutest thing and she’s so happy to have him with her? 

But then we gotta deal with Minerva’s crazy ass on the bridge and well, AJ shoots Tenn and Louis is having flashbacks to Marlon and it’s not great. That’s a whole thing, and he ends up separated from them while escaping.

We don’t get to see Louis’ reaction to Clementine getting bit and losing her leg since I guess that puts a damper on the overly happy ending. But, going off of what we know about him and what I’ve explained [which isn’t even all of it, this isn’t a full Louis character analysis. if it was, it would be much longer and in multiple parts... believe it or not, I’m trying to not make this too long and only sorta failing...] we can get an idea of how he would react. 

Um, to say he was upset is an understatement.

Because remember, he had no time to think and climbed over the fence, thinking he could get them to climb over and they could get away, but it didn’t work. He ended up leaving them in order to save himself since walkers were closing in on him.

But you know that he’d blame himself for the bite. A lot of, “if I had just stayed” and “I should’ve climbed back over, I should’ve stayed with you.” I’m sure there were points where it looked like Clem wouldn’t make it and I can’t imagine how much hurt he went through watching her suffer and heal from losing a leg like that. 

Not only that, but knowing that AJ was the one to do it? And him thinking about what Clem’s death would do to AJ after all this? There isn’t a doubt in my mind that Louis would take care of AJ if she died. He cares about AJ, and he loves Clementine, so he be there for both of them, even if he’s still hurting from Tenn’s death. 

However, Clementine didn’t die. She survived the bite and amputation, and when we flashforward, she and Louis are still happily together. Louis is right there next to her at dinner, and he’s the one to help her with her crutches. He’s there to go over future plans to meet the traveling caravan, and Clementine wants him to be the one to go. 

Oh, and Louis once again forgives AJ for shooting Tenn, claiming that he understands that AJ saw something that he couldn’t. Like with Marlon, he’s not happy Tenn’s dead but he can see why AJ did it to save his life. 

I just..... happy ending. Clementine and Louis are together and she’s truly happy to have found a home for her and AJ with him at Ericson. 

....But then the comic thought it would be fun to say “nah.” 

The comic isn’t canon, I’m still insulted that it would ever consider itself as such, but even so I can’t help but feel so frustrated about how this would destroy Louis. 

He finally found someone he would consider his best friend, not just his girlfriend. She saw past that funny man persona and he trusted her enough to let her past this wall he built around himself. He let himself become vulnerable around her, he named his song after her. Their initials are carved into his piano with a heart surrounding them. He loved her. 

Clementine left him feeling loved, something he probably hasn’t truly felt since he was a little boy with his parents before their divorce. She loved him even after hearing his past because she knew that wasn’t him anymore, and she helped him build the confidence he needed to step up. Because of Clementine, Louis wants to enjoy every day while also looking at the future. He isn’t lonely anymore, he has her and AJ. He’s truly happy.

So to tell me that Louis would wake up one morning only to have AJ tell him that Clementine’s gone, she’ been planning an escape without telling anyone because she wasn’t happy...? I’m sorry, but if you think that wouldn’t leave Louis absolutely devastated, then you know nothing about him as a character. 

This idea is just.... look, Louis is perceptive. That’s a big part of his character, he’s perceptive of those around him. If Clementine was showing signs of being unhappy or depression, he would see it. He would notice a change. He would be able to tell if something was off, and he would ask her about it. Louis is the type of person to ask you what you need. What can he do to help? What do you need to feel better? And if you don’t know, it’s okay, he’ll help you figure it out in any way possible. 

Plus, the comic suggests that there are times where she went off on her own but came back [probably doing her escape prep ugh] and you expect me to believe that Louis wouldn’t notice that or wonder what she’s doing? Wouldn’t sense that something’s going on? 

After she’s gone, he’s going to blame himself for not being enough. He couldn’t make her happy and he was a fool to think he ever could. AJ lost the only family he’s known since he was born because Louis couldn’t help her, couldn’t do anything to stop her from leaving. 

And for him to realize that she didn’t love him? Clementine, the girl he thought the world of because of how strong and confident and in-charge she was, because she saw him for who he was..... she left him, abandoned him... and she couldn’t even be bothered with a goodbye.... that says that she didn’t care all that much about him in the end.

You KNOW that he would think he had this coming, too. How could the universe allow him to fall in love and be happy with someone who loved him back after what he did to his parents? He would feel so heartbroken that he would see this as some sort of karma for breaking up his parents happy marriage as a kid years before he ever met Clementine and before the apocalypse.

I fucking can’t.... I don’t have the words to fully explain how much I hate this. Louis wouldn’t be okay afterward, and I doubt he’d ever fully recover. I wasn’t joking when I mentioned before that Louis would stop playing piano. How could he sit there and play when I he can see is their initials and remember the night she confessed to him? When he named his song after her? Clementine left and took the music with her because Louis wouldn’t have it in him... something that he used to cope would be ruined and that’s just.... it’s fucking awful. 

Not only that, but now he has AJ who I assume is hurting just as much [though the comics inaccurately assume he would just let Clem go sooo... yeah] and he would be the only one Louis would really talk to about it, but then again.... what if AJ doesn’t wanna talk about it? What if AJ starts to act out and things just become terrible and Louis is just too overwhelmed? 

I just.... UGH. That’s how I feel. UGH. 

Clementine from the comic? Not her. She would never fucking do this to Louis, AJ, or anyone else at Ericson, and you would know that if you played the tfs. 

Sigh.... sorry, I just needed to get this all out. I haven’t seen anyone talk about how Clem leaving would affect Louis and I’ve gotten some asks/come across some posts about Louis that have left me incredibly annoyed.... well, I was annoyed before because of the comics, so my annoyances with those things were only heightened. So yeah... I wanted to talk about Louis’ character in hopes of explaining why he would be so hurt if this comic was canon. 

Which it’s not. So it’s fine. 

How are we all feelin’ at this point, by the way? I know I’m not the only one still annoyed with the comic, so I hope y’all are doin’ okay. Hope you’re stayin’ chill and thinking about your faves to help cope with this mess hahaha

[heeberry]

It’s Not What You Think

(Loona) Jung Jinsoul x Female!Reader

Requested: yes!

Berry: Hello may I ask for Jinsoul x fem!reader angst where reader spends time with a member a bit too much cause they're planning a surprise for Jinsoul but JInsoul ends up thinking reader is cheating and confronts them about it. Reader feels conflicted and says smth along the lines of "Im not that kind of person" but they make up after a long ass deliberation. Sorry if it's a bit much, thank you!!

A/n: don’t worry berry it wasn’t too much at all!! Sorry for writing this late </3 it’s a tiny bit rushed so if you don’t like it let me know and I’ll write it again :]

Jinsoul crossed her arms, slumped up against the couch. She huffed, watching you and Chaewon huddled on the couch across from her, giggling and doing things on the computer.

The Tv was just background music to her at this point, her eyes drilling a hole between you and Chaewon. You glanced at the girl, but soon looked back at the computer, her gaze was enough to tell you that she wasn’t having it. It sure was scary to you, not familiar with her angry side. Jinsoul was usually sweet and affectionate, but what you saw was the complete opposite, which you knew why, but you can’t really do anything about it at the moment.

“Y/n ignore her, we have to focus” Chaewon snapped you out of your thoughts, you nodded at her words, going back to picking out decorations online.

Jinsoul’s birthday was just tomorrow, so to show some appreciation you decided to throw a party for her. You picked Chaewon to help you since she’d been hanging out with Jinsoul often, and because you two were the closest ones in the dorm.

At first Jinsoul didn’t mind, she knew how close the two of you were so she let you be. But as time passed she noticed how less you spent time with her, which made her heart ache.

“Should we get those confett shooters?”

“Why not” you laughed, adding it to your chart.

After checking the items out and paying you turned to Chaewon. “Do you think Jinsoul’s mad at me right now?” You suddenly asked.

Chaewon glanced at Jinsoul, she was talking to Heejin but her expression still showed how upset she was. Chaewon turned back to you, with a slight smile, “yeah probably” she paused “still don’t let that get in the way right now, the decorations are coming tomorrow so we have to plan out how we’re gonna surprise Jinsoul”

You nodded, though there was something telling you that talking to her won’t hurt, it’s not like your avoiding her with bad intentions. “I’ll just talk to her for a few” you whispered after noticing Heejin leaving and going towards the kitchen.

“Jinsoul!” You cheered, climbing on her to give her a tight hug. “Are you okay?”

Jinsoul kept her mouth shut, she tried not letting the warmth of the hug get to her. As much as she was desperate to wrap her arms around you she contained it, wanting to let you know how upset she was.

You cup her face, turning it to face you. “What happened? Why aren’t you talking?”

Jinsoul scoffed at your words, brushing your hands off. She pulled you off of her, getting up without a word and leaving.

You felt a pang in your heart, you must’ve really made her upset. Tomorrow was her birthday too, and having this happen wasn’t apart of the plan.

Walking back to Chaewon with a frown, you hugged your best friend. She pats your head, witnessing the whole scene. “It’s okay y/n, she won’t stay mad at you for long. Your her girlfriend anyway.”

Chaewon put an arm around you, squeezing your cheeks. “She’ll probably be like, oh my baby y/n! I’m so sorry for being mad, this is amazing!” You laughed at Chaewon’s words as she continued, “thank you so much! Seriously babe, I wasn’t expecting this!” Pointing at the computer as if there was something valuable actually there.

You kept laughing with her, eyes closed shut and holding your stomach. She knew how to comfort you for sure, as she soon laughed with you.

As much as the two of you were having a good time, someone in the corner surely wasn’t. Jinsoul stared, stunned at what she just heard. “Did she just? Call y/n, babe?” She mumbled to herself, recalling Chaewon’s words and use of physical affection.

Now Jinsoul knew she had to do something. Her heart immediately smashed into pieces, like a hammer hitting glass. She felt like she was stepping on lava, feeling betrayed and hurt.

She walked into her room, the door slamming so loud that the two of you were awoken from your own little worlds.

You cleared the tears on your face, “alright Chae, let’s inform the others about what their roles are”

...

The next day rolled around and you felt excited. Removing the covers off of you and heading towards Jinsoul’s room to greet her a happy birthday. You knocked twice and opened the door, greeted by the coolness of the ac that was in her room. You jumped on her bed, “Jinsoul get up!” You laughed. Ruffling her hair as she woke up.

Her face dropped when she saw you, but you didn’t seem to notice. “Happy birthday babe!” You cheered, peppering her face with kisses.

Though Jinsoul didn’t seem as excited as you, pulling you away from her face she got up without a word. You stared at her, “the silent treatment again?” You frowned.

You couldn’t tell how upset she was, surely you did spend less time with her but that usually happens whenever the both of you are busy anyway, how come she’s suddenly like this now?

“Jinsoul!” You whined, grabbing her hand before she stepped out the door, “why are you suddenly ignoring me?”

Jinsoul kept her anger inside, if she dared to open her mouth she knew she’d explode. You pushed her around and attempted to hug her, Jinsoul just stood, letting it all happen.

Soon enough you grew tired and annoyed, “can you just tell me what happened to you?” You snapped. “You’ve been ignoring me since yesterday giving me the silent treatment, what’s up with that?”

Jinsoul turned to you with a scoff, “are kidding me?”

You raised an eyebrow, “what?”

“You’ve been the one ignoring me! What’s up with that” she mimicked, “since last week you’ve been clinging onto Chaewon like I don’t exist”

“God every single day I’ve seen you with her and the two of you are giggling like there’s no tomorrow” Jinsoul’s voice kept getting higher and higher, with each word hitting you in the face.

“I mean at first I didn’t mind of course since she’s your best friend but yesterday was where the line was crossed” Jinsoul yelled, ruffling her own hair.

She paused, her vision becoming more blurry from the tears forming in her eyes. She sniffled before pointing a finger, “YOU CHEATED ON ME”

You gasped but before you could even speak Jinsoul cut you.

“I saw it all L/n Y/n. Chaewon calling you babe to the two of you acting all lovey dovey. Don’t act like you guys didn’t do that yesterday because I saw it with my own two eyes!”

“Jinsoul I-”

“Don’t Jinsoul me, I don’t care about your explanation. What I saw was as clear as day and for that we’re breaking up right here and now” Jinsoul snapped, “Don’t you dare try coming to me again, go hang out with your new girlfriend.”

Jinsoul headed towards the door, which made you panic, forgetting what things were prepared outside. “Wait Jinsoul!” You yelled, yanking her away from the door.

It was now the other way around, you stood in front of her with tears in your eyes. “Soulie please here me out, it’s not what you think! Please”

Jinsoul leaned against the bed, a sigh escaping her lips. She kept her tough imagine outside but inside was filled with hurt and sorrow. Not only did she caught you with Chaewon, seeing you like this also made her weak in the knees. But she kept it in, gesturing you to talk.

“I swear I didn’t cheat on you” you paused to wipe the tears that spilled down your eyes like a waterfall. “What you saw yesterday was Chaewon mimicking you I promise!”

“But why?”

“Because we were getting things for you and while doing so we started talking about you”

Jinsoul scoffed again, “yeah right like I’ll believe such a thing now”

She walked towards the door again, leaving you crying on the floor. Jinsoul opened the door to see Chaewon and the others with party hats on. Usually on birthdays you’d cheer and scream, but this moment in particular wasn’t what they did.

It was silent, the members heard everything. They stood there with frowns or blank faces. The house was decorated with balloons and all sorts of things. A cake sat perfectly on the table, candles sitting on it with the words, “Happy Birthday Jinsoul!” Written in blue, the color she liked.

Jinsoul’s jaw dropped when she saw everything decorated. Chaewon frowned, breaking the silence. “we were together to plan out your birthday”

She turned to you, your cheeks puffed out and eyes bloodshot red from continuessly crying.

Jinsoul looked at her members apologetically before going towards you. Closing the door behind her, she crouched down to hug you.

“Well what now?” Yeojin spoke, breaking the silence. “I think we should go, things will get better later so let’s leave them alone for now” Haseul replied.

“what about the activities we planned?” Yerim added, “we didn’t make reservations for nothing”

“We’ll do what we planned later stupid, they need each other right now” Heejin said, rushing the members to sit in the living room and wait.

Meanwhile you smacked Jinsoul, “I told you! I told you we weren’t doing anything romantic” you frowned, “why would you even accuse me of cheating when I literally cling onto you 24/7?”

Jinsoul kissed you, “I’m so sorry for yelling at you, I knew I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that”

You shook your head, “it isn’t your fault, I mean, I was technically the one ignoring you but only because I didn’t wanna accidently spoil the surprise for you”

Jinsoul grabbed your hand, getting you up on your two feet before smiling at you. “Let’s pretend that never happened yea?”

You nodded, and Jinsoul pecked you on the lips. “Next time I’ll hear you out instead of yelling at you like a total idiot”

“Yeah you definitely should next time”

Once the door of Jinsoul’s room opened it was like nothing never really happened. The members stood there shooting confetti and shouting happy birthday.

You laughed at their antics, turning to Jinsoul to give her a rightful kiss. “Happy Birthday my love, and don’t you ever think I’d cheat on you”

[zutaraplatter]

Avatar: The Last Airbender Critique

There are already a million of posts like this one, and I might be saying things that’ve already been said a million times but I’ve recently become reheated about the ATLA ending and wanted to let it out -_- No one asked, this is true, and this may or may not be a way to stall from this final project I still have to complete, but here’s 10 things I didn't like and/or would change about the show that likely shouldn’t need changing because they should have been done in the first place.

1. Katara should have apologized to Sokka after TSR

It should have happened and it didn't. In my canon-avoiding mind, Katara and Sokka have a heartfelt conversation where she apologizes for the awful things she said, Sokka says he forgives her and he's sorry if he wasn't as there for her as much as he should have been, which he follows up with "but I'm happy you listened to Aang and took his advice," leading into my next point

2. Katara should have said that not killing Yon Rha was her choice

And thats why it was the right one. Not because Aang already said it was wrong. No no. It was the right choice because that's what she chose. I love my mom to death and can't imagine losing her in any way, let alone the way Katara did. And I can't say for sure that if I was in her shoes that I know what I would have done f that yes I do I would have killed that motherfucker. But I also know that if Katara decided not to kill him, then that was one of two correct choices because they were Katara's choices to make. Not Aang's or anyone else's and this should have been clarified. I know it's a kids show but I said what I said. Next point.

3. Katara should have said more after telling Aang she was unsure at the Ember Island Players

Katara hasn't had any trouble saying how she feels, especially when it comes to helping others and making them feel better, whether she was right or wrong. But she holds back or overly softens blows and seems to even shrivel up at times when it comes to Aang. And me no likey. I had a boyfriend who I adored and admired and just genuinely looked up to. I'm also a shy and anxious person who hates confrontation, but because I loved him, I never refrained from telling him when he was wrong. I might have been a little shaky about it but I did it tho because when you want to be with someone you walk through the grass and stomp through the mud. And I personally feel like either in that moment or later on in an added scene that Katara should have voiced to Aang how unheard and disrespected she felt about his words before TSR and his actions on the balcony. I hate being uncomfortable and my secondhand embarrassment is toxic but I would love to see a scene of this. I always imagined Katara saying stuff like "But I'm not you Aang, and I'm not an Air Nomad," or "Zuko could understand why I needed to go, and I'd hoped you would too," or...I'm out of ideas but you get the idea. And you know what, I know I'm a hard Zutara shipper, but them having this conversation would honestly make me respect their relationship a whole lot more should it be believably written to end on a good note (I don't see how it could be but hey I'm an open minded person and I did think they were cute together once upon a time). Basically, all I'm saying is that Katara is no small voice and she should have been written that way when with Aang. Boyfriends can make you shy but should never make you weak. Period. Next point.

4. No rock! ONLY GROWTH!!!!!!!!!!!

I still squint my eyes whenever I remember that rock that unblocked Aang's chakra. What even was that? The laziest writing possible in my opinion. That's what. And Aang deserved better. What should have happened should have been that Aang started to lose to Ozai. And then as Ozai's about to deliver the finishing blow, Aang has flashbacks of everyone he's trying to save and honor, ending with a very prominent flashback of Katara with the guru's disembodied voice reminding Aang to let go of his attachments to become all he needs to be...then BOOM! Baby boy is back on his feet, chakra unblocked, he kicks Ozai's ass, I'm crying hysterically on the floor, as are the rest of us, and he wins. Then at the end of the series, instead of a kiss, he gives Katara an apology. She accepts, everyone else comes to join them on the balcony, cinematic group hug, camera pan into the sun. I don't know lol. Basically what I'm saying is that Aang did not deserve some deus ex machina. He deserved to grow and become his best self like everyone else got to.

5. Aang should have heard differently in The Storm

Katara is a very fate-minded person and this is when I saw potential for her to become a toxic character in regards to Aang. When he admits that he ran away from home 100 years ago, Katara tells him that that was basically a good thing because he was meant to be here and now. Like...no? What Aang did, though understandable for someone so young, was still wrong. Yes he would have maybe been killed but I'm like 10000000% sure they had a plan to protect and evacuate the literal avatar. And what was technically "meant to be" was a new avatar. But hey, what's done is done and kicking Aang while he's down is a no-no in this household. But that doesn't change the fact that Aang needed and deserved honesty. Maybe the fisherman could have said this, I don't know, but I feel like Aang should have been told by someone that although running away was wrong, it's a blessing he and Appa were able to survive and be able to help save the world now with his amazing friends found-family. Maybe this is too harsh, and maybe even outright wrong, but I felt like Aang deserved a truer answer here to support and comfort him.

6. MAILEE!!!!

Do I even need to go into detail?

7. Spiritual sigh*

Don't make me go into detail -_- I will say though that although Aang and Katara are both amazing individuals capable of earth shattering things, they were not a healthy fit for one another. This is evident in the original series and especially in their children from LOK. They both deserved the best but better than one another.

8. ZUTARAAAAAAA

This is a Zutara blog you KNEW this was coming, as it should. There's just too much. There's too damn much. I would give a real paragraph to this too, but, I mean, there's already so much proving that this was the pair. Fics, metas, rants, this site. Scroll through my blog or any of the ATLA related blogs I follow and...dude. These two were meant to be together and I'll mourn the narrative brilliance WASTED for no good reason every day for the rest of my life. No reason these two shouldn't be married with three kids. sob. I will take this part to say thank you to the amazing fic writers that gave Katara, Zuko, Mai, and Aang what they deserved that the writers didn't have the guts to give them themselves. Next point tho.

9. AANG AND ONJI

Good God almighty. Why not this? WHY NOT THIS? I'm putting on my bullet proof vest and I'm going to say this; Aanji is cuter than Zutara. Now before you scorn me or whatever, let me explain. Zutara for me is like steak. No. Chicken parmesan. I like chicken parmesan better. The point though is that Zutara is savory. You know? I don't see them as cute, I see them as Obviously. Aanji on the other hand is like a bag of my favorite candy. They are like a brownie. A cookie. Girl Scout Samoas!...I don't know what words are anymore. This post got way out of hand. I guess what I'm saying is that for Zutara, I scream, but for Aanji, I squeal. I hope that makes sense. But here's the main point I want to make. Onji never knew who Aang really was. And Aang was always, at his core, himself. She very obviously had a crush on Aang for his personality and that was crazy cute and frankly preferable to Katara's "I...guess he is." (you know exactly what I'm talking about) Anyway, I kept wanting more of them together. I wish all the time that we'd gotten to see her again, with a more fleshed out character and all. And in the way that I imagine the show should have gone, she could have been the perfect love interest for Aang, during this episode or way later, even in the comics! Another WASTED opportunity for greatness and I will, again, never recover T-T

10. Iroh get your ass back here

Maybe this is a misguided critique but I hated that Iroh just left Zuko alone in the fire nation at the end of the series. Baby was in trouble in every sense of the word and Iroh was just like "See ya! You got this nephew." I'm expected to believe that? I'm expected to accept that? No no no. He should have at least stayed for a few years to help Zuko stay upright and, you know, alive. And by "upright" I don't mean "good." I just mean been there to support him because Lord knows he needed it, at least in the beginning of his reign. It was cute that Iroh was able to settle down with his own teashop after all those years of violence and mourning and running and this and that. I was more than happy for him for being able to have that peace finally. But I still think it could have waited a little while longer so he could support Zuko.

That's it I guess. I know not everything I've said makes the most sense in one way or another, but I enjoyed putting it together all the same. Thank you for reading and have a great day. I'll go finish my final now.

(Edited for a typo)

[isuckatreadinglol]

Six of Crows Review

Alright, first book review on this blog...here we go: *spoiler warning, duh*

Book: Six of Crows Author: Leigh Bardugo

My Rating: 5/5

First off, this is the first YA fantasy I've ever read so I have no idea what I was expecting...and I fuckin loved it.

Second, I binge read this book in three days and it usually takes me a month to read anything ever so that's definitely saying something. I came for Kaz Brekker after watching Shadow & Bone on Netflix and stayed for the amazing plot, diverse and intricate characters, the incredible action and twists, and of course Kaz Brekker. The one thing that I loved was how fast paced this book went, and I genuinely could not stray far from the book because of how addicting it was. There was something in every chapter and you never got bored. The last part had taken the most time for me to complete because of how much action Leigh crammed in the last 60 pages, which made it a bit hard to follow along but it was still epic.

The Characters:

Kaz, Inej, Jesper, Wylan, Nina, Matthias

"“What’s the easiest way to steal a man’s wallet?” “Knife to the throat?” asked Inej. “Gun to the back?” said Jesper. “Poison in his cup?” suggested Nina. “You’re all horrible,” said Matthias."

The most diverse set of characters I have ever met. There were 6 characters, and the POV's were constantly changing and at some point, while I read someone else's chapter I was worried about the other characters and anticipating the next chapters. This was honestly an amazing decision to tell this story and I never got sick of the characters (except maybe Matthias, sorry).

Not only does Leigh do an excellent job portraying trauma in her characters (especially Kaz), she also keeps the character's as diverse as possible, from Nina being a plus sized character with badass confidence to Wylan overcoming his dyslexia and even Inej being a brown character. Every character had their own stories and the flashbacks/backstories were always a pleasure to read through.

Kaz Brekker is a stone cold, morally grey, manipulative, and terrible criminal which of course...makes him an even better protagonist. He definitely rocks the Hot Boy Who Is Mean To Everyone Except That One Chick Because Of His Tragic Backstory trope.

"There was no part of him that was not broken, that had not healed wrong, and there was no part of him that was not stronger for having been broken."

He is an anti-hero with his own plans and goals, while also caring so much about his crew that he would do anything for them. I'm very excited to see his character develop with Inej in Crooked Kingdom as well as his relationship with her because I am too obsessed with the two of them. I also enjoyed how Leigh allowed Kaz to fuck up and make mistakes, showing that he wasn't just some perfect character that knew everything about everything, and reading his inner dialogue when he realized his fuck-ups felt refreshing. His backstory was very well written and very tragic (we get it he's emo). It felt so personal knowing why he was they way he was when he sealed himself off from the world. He's also drippy as fuck.

Inej Ghafa just radiates bad bitch energy and when Kaz called her "dangerous" I screamed "DAMN RIGHT". Her mental drive was beautifully written during her chapters, especially while she climbed the incinerator.

"The heat of the incinerator wrapped around Inej like a living thing, a desert dragon in his den, hiding from the ice, waiting for her. She knew her body's limits and knew she had no more to give. She'd made a bad wager. It was as simple as that. The autumn leaf might cling to its branch, but it was already dead. The only question was when it would fall...

Should she jump now or simply wait for her body to give?

Inej felt wetness on her cheeks. Was she crying? Now? After everything she'd done and had done to her?"

Most importantly, she was a raw character who pushed herself throughout the book not just for herself but for the rest of the crew. She was selfless but she was also incredibly strong, driven by her future. Inej is the most inspiring character in the book and I have fallen in love with her more times than I could count. (lowkey carried the team imma be honest)

JESPER FAHEY Y'ALL. My queer sharpshooter king. I think I related to him the most and I loved every chapter with him. Though, I felt like Jesper was treated more as a side character than a main one, especially since he was stuck with Wylan for the entirety of the heist but BOY WHEN I FOUND OUT HE WAS A FABRIKATOR...I might have also screamed. He was definitely the comedic relief and he always kept me laughing at his little comments. Excited to see him and Wylan get together and also hoping for more of Jesper's character.

"Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air."

“If any of you survive, make sure I have an open casket. The world deserves a few more moments with this face.”

Nina Zenik...bro. She is so powerful. The moment she took parem was *chefs kiss* and it was the most badass scene I had ever experienced. When I began reading her chapters I didn't really enjoy them but when the heist actually began her inner dialogue won me over completely. When she was with Jarl Brum I could not stop laughing at the things she was saying in her head, and even when things were intense she always had something to say which made her character come to life. Her personality is hilarious, and sarcastic and she's also so HOT like my gay ass was swooning. She is who I aspire to be, that is all.

Matthias Helvar. Personally, I didn't really like his character so much because of how stubborn and he was (and how many times I wanted to punch his stupid ass), however he was still a pretty cool character with some good moments in there. He demonstrated religious corruption well, and he definitely faced a lot of inner conflict due to the pressure of what he was taught when he was younger. His POVs were a little boring but I loved it when he called Kaz a demjin.

Wylan Van Eck was a super fun character to have around. I definitely enjoyed watching his character grow as he spent more time with the Dregs. I didn't love him as much as the big three (Kaz, Jesper, Inej) and don't have much to say on him except that I admired his strength throughout the last part, especially when confronting his father after hearing all the horrible things he said about his own son. Jesper defending him made me melt big time.

"He's smarter than most of us put together, and he deserves a better father than you."

I literally could not have asked for such a creative group of characters and to see them work together makes me feel like I'm part of a big, criminal family.

The Ships

The ships were a fun addition to the story and the best part was that they never overstepped the actual objective of the plot but rather worked with it to enhance the connections between each character.

Kaz and Inej: Let me just cry for a second.

"She'd laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him."

"I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all."

"I'm going to get my money, Kaz vowed. And I'm going to get my girl."

This one hurt me. I am in love with these two and their relationship with each other makes it so much better. They are not meant to be together yet they are connected in so many ways. I did not think I would fall in love so easy, but here I am.

Matthias and Nina: I was not convinced by these two, especially with how weird their relationship was. They constantly seemed like they hated each other (valid) and some of their romantic scenes felt forced. In the end, I enjoyed seeing Nina grow on Matthias to wake his stubborn ass up. I swear that man refused to have feelings. Anyway, I still have mixed feelings on these two.

Wylan and Jesper: They are so cute. Like insanely cute. Like even I was blushing during their cute scenes. Their relationship isn't as developed yet so I am excited to see them in Crooked Kingdom.

Final Thoughts:

Representation? Check

Map? Check

Two maps?!? Fuck yeah

Amazing plot and worldbuilding? Check

Hilarious banter? Mhm

Great writing? Check

Well- written characters? 100%

Overall, this story will forever be my comfort book and I was impressed by the YA fantasy side of literature. It's hard to believe yet comforting that these characters are my age, makes me feel powerful. I loved every bit of this book and now I kinda wanna grab some friends and pull a heist.

[avengerscompound]

Until the End of the World - 16

Until the End of the World: A Captain America Fanfic

Masterlist PREVIOUS //

Buy me a ☕ Character Pairing:  Bucky Barnes x Steve Rogers x F!Reader

Word Count:  1645

Rating:  E

Warnings: Angst and PTSD

Synopsis: Four years after Steve and Bucky got to the bottom of the HYDRA conspiracy that had led to you and your son being hunted for the first three years of his life, you, Bucky, and Steve have carved out a nice life together.  Things are calm and you feel like a family unit.  When Geo starts calling Bucky and Steve ‘dad’, a decision is made to try and add to your family.

Things aren’t as calm as they seem.  When your pregnancy hits the papers, HYDRA rears its head once again, and Steve and Bucky need to track you down to protect the family they had created.

Chapter 16

Bucky was beginning to feel hopeless.  Steve’s orders to Sam and Tony about looking for a cloaked van, had come to nothing.  Every van, small truck, and bus that Sam and Tony had scanned had shown nothing suspicious.  All the roadblocks they had set up came to nothing.  No cars coming in or out of the city were carrying either you or Geo.  You, Geo, and whoever it was that had snatched you had just vanished.

It was clear from the people that had been arrested at the scene that HYDRA was back.  Not that Bucky had been surprised.  He’d been in that organization for decades, it would take more than a raid on some drug factories to flush them out.  Unfortunately, the HYDRA agents that had been taken captive had mostly activated their cyanide pills, and those that hadn’t weren’t talking because they were much more concerned by what Viper would do to them than about any of the Avengers.  Steve and Bucky had both been banned from questioning any of them because of how close they were to the issue and Bucky wished Steve would do something to force them to be allowed.  Bucky understood HYDRA and he knew HYDRA understood him.  He’d only need twenty minutes and he knew he’d be able to get one of them singing like a bird.

Bucky had no idea what could have happened to you though.  Three options seemed most likely but he had no way of checking without breaking his orders and if he did that, it could mean the government would step in and have him arrested too, because if the Avengers can’t keep the Winter Soldier in line, then he was still a threat.  Yet, every minute that ticked by where you and Geo were still missing, he felt closer to just breaking orders anyway.   He knew HYDRA - and the way he figured you had either been moved off the island by helicopter or boat, you were being kept somewhere in the city with a private garage, or you’d been taken underground.

The worst part was Steve was ignoring him.  The pain Bucky felt from that was almost physical.  Like something had been torn out from his chest.  He wanted something - anything - to help him deal with this loss.  Comfort from his best friend and lover.  Orders to go follow through on.  Permission to question the prisoners or to look into his own leads.  Anything to make him feel less alone and useless.

He spent the night and most of the morning in the apartment waiting for Steve to come home or send for him.  He’d ask FRIDAY to make sure Steve knew he was waiting for orders and that he wanted to help.  He even called up Hill and asked her if there was anything he could do - and nothing.  All he was getting was dead air.  By lunch, he went to speak to his therapist.  He’d been listened to and in the end told that if he wanted to do something, he should go and confront Steve.  So he went straight up to the command room and stalked inside.

Tony was moving from one computer screen to another moving things around and tapping away on the keyboards.  Steve looked up when Bucky came in but his attention went straight back to the file he was looking at.

“Tony,” Steve said, without acknowledging Bucky.  “Can you do a scan on the city, see if there are any suspicious underground structures?   Maybe if we compare it to a public works map���?”

“You’ve got it, Cap,” Tony said and typed something into the computer.   “Will need to do a couple of adjustments on the Legion, but it shouldn’t take me too long.”

When Steve continued to ignore him, Bucky stalked over and leaned against the desk beside Steve, folding his arms over his chest.  The lights flickered in the building and Tony looked up.  “FRIDAY, what was that?”

“Brief power surge from outside,” the AI replied.  “I apologize, sir.”

“Just… don’t let it happen again,” Tony said.

“You just gonna ignore me?”  Bucky asked.

Steve sighed and looked up.  “I’m sorry,” he said.  “It’s not you…”

“Yeah?”  Bucky said.  “Kinda feels like it’s me.”

Steve stood up.  “Let me know if anything pops up,” he said to Tony.

Tony looked up for a second.  “About time you took a break,” he said.  “Go on, I’ll keep watch.”

“Thanks, Tony,” Steve said and nodded to the elevator.  “Let’s talk.”

Bucky followed Steve to the elevator and leaned against the back wall.  “I lost them too, you know?”  He growled.

“I know,” Steve said, his eyes dropping to the floor.

“So what?  I gotta lose you too?”

The electricity flicked again and the elevator stuttered.  Bucky instantly went on edge, his mind immediately going to an attack.  Steve looked up and furrowed his brow.

“Sorry, Captain Rogers,” FRIDAY said, quickly. “We don’t use the city’s power supply, but we’re linked into it and feed excess power to the grid.  There seem to be intermittent surges from an outside source that are affecting our supply.  I’m working on a fix.”

“Thank you, FRIDAY,” Steve said and turned his attention back to Bucky.  “This is my fault.  We’ve lost her because I became complacent.”

The doors slid open onto their floor and Bucky followed Steve down the hall to their apartment.  Steve hadn’t been back since you were taken and Bucky noticed his eyes lingered on the coffee table where Geo’s Lego was still laying out.  Bucky could picture what was going on in Steve’s head because he’d been thinking the same thing all day.  ‘What were the chances that you and Geo were still alive if all they needed from you was your DNA?’

“So what?  I don’t even get to help?”  Bucky asked.  It snapped Steve’s attention back to him and he shook his head like he was trying to clear it.

“I just feel so guilty,” Steve said, making his way to the coffee machine and starting to fix a pot of coffee.  “You should hate me.”

Bucky frowned and stepped up behind Steve.  He wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist, gripping his hip with his flesh hand making sure his forearm pressed along Steve’s stomach.  The metal hand he pushed against Steve’s chest, holding him tightly.  “This isn’t your fault.  It’s Viper’s fault.  We both thought she was safe.  Even she thought she was safe.  Stop punishing yourself,” Bucky whispered, his lips brushing against Steve’s ear as he spoke.  “But more importantly, stop punishing me.”

Steve turned and looked at Bucky.  “I’m sorry… I’m not…”

“You think you’re blaming yourself?”  Bucky interrupted.  “I’ve been willing something like this to happen since we first got together and every new good thing that happened I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I never thought I’d get to have this and I was waiting for the rest of you to be punished since I got here.  And now they’ve been taken - by the very people who had me and used me as their own personal soldier toy.  I know… logically that what’s going on has nothing to do with what happened to me - but Steve - I also know that it’s everything to do with what happened to me.”

Steve frowned and took Bucky’s hand.  “Buck…”

Bucky pulled his hand away and shook his head.  “And since we got back, you’ve been avoiding me so now I have absolutely no doubt it has to do with me.  Because if it wasn’t my fault you’d have asked me to help.  So I’ve been sitting here, hoping that you’ll at least give me something to do because you’re sure as hell not going to tell me it’s not my fault or lean on me for support when I’m to blame.  And then when you wouldn’t even use me as a weapon - when I know HYDRA better than anyone else - I went to therapy.  The therapist told me to come to you and tell you how I felt.  So here I am, Steve.  I know this is my fault even if it isn’t and I need you to use me.”

“I’m sorry, Buck,” Steve said and pulled Bucky close, wrapping him in his arms and holding him.  “I’m sorry.  I should have at least kept you in the loop.  I am so afraid right now, and I never feel like that.  I am always so sure about every choice I make and I’m terrified and I feel useless.”

Bucky nuzzled into Steve’s neck and held him too.  “I wanna help,” Bucky said.  “Let me go interrogate someone.  I know how they work.”

Steve nodded.  “I think it’s about time we both go make that happen.  I warned Viper of what would happen if she threatened my family.”

Bucky let out a soft puff of air against Steve’s neck.  Almost a laugh but not quite and coming from a place of relief more than humor.  “Well... we better make good on our word.”

Bucky very slowly pulled back, as he did, Steve leaned in and kissed him.  Bucky flinched at first, not quite expecting it, but soon melted into the kiss, first matching the tender caress of Steve’s lips and then tilting his head and deepening it.  There was something to the kiss that wasn’t usually there.  A need that had nothing to do with sex or passion, and everything to do with a need for affection and support.

The lights flickered again and then seemed to flash, first three long times on and off, then three short, and three long again.

Steve and Bucky both pulled apart quickly and looked up.  “FRIDAY?  Was that…?”  Steve asked.

“Sir,” FRIDAY replied, sounding very uncertain for the AI that usually knew everything.  “I think… I think Geo is sending us a message.”

// NEXT

[chalkrevelations]

SO. Word of Honor, Episode 10, and everyone is deep in their feelings … well, their feeling, which is misery.

First, due diligence, and I really mean it on this one: SPOILERS not just for this ep but for the entire show. Out of the car, for now, and come back later, if you want to watch the whole thing unspoiled.­­

Well, it’s the breakup episode, y’all. Everyone is wallowing in misery, and Our Couple is taking that out on themselves and in some cases (:cough:WKX:cough) ­on everybody around them. We open on sad-sack Wen Kexing digging sadly in the dirt with a sword, the bodies of the Four Sages of Anji laid out beside him as he gives a RIP speech about how you have to be careful when making friends, because they’ll turn out to be bad news, which is clearly yet another warning about himself, because I don’t think anyone in the mob who killed these aging hippies in the last ep was a friend (although I suppose it could be argued that WKX is talking about their friendship with Gao Chong getting them killed) and anyway, you have to understand that WKX is a demon under the skin, not even really human, you guys, and he’s only ever going to disappoint everyone. Has he not made this clear by now? His sword breaks at this point, which probably ought to tell him he’s not going to be able to bury any of this mess. Then Zhou Zishu shows up and is understandably unhappy at the way his decision last ep to walk out on faith for this guy has gone completely pear-shaped, and he asks some rather pointed questions about whether four dead Sages of Anji is what WKX wanted and if he’s happy now – questions that sound, my dude, a little confrontational. I mean, I think you’re entitled, given the situation, but I’m just sayin’. WKX flings off ZZS’s hand and wants to know if “Leader Zhou” has only ever killed bad people, which is a hit that lands, and it hurts, just like it was supposed to, and this is definitely one of those nightmare scenarios where everyone just keeps digging themselves deeper. ZZS is all, FINE THEN, and leaves. Again. Because WKX is apparently a demon in human form who’s only ever going to disappoint everyone. Including his zhiji. I love you with all of my heart, ZZS, but a little bit, you come off like you only showed up to twist the knife, my man. Anyway, ZZS stomps off to go mope at Yuefan Tower, the scene of his bad decision to trust this guy BEFORE finding out he sets up revenge murders for fun. We’re treated to a flashback sequence of some of ZZS’s Tian Chuang state-sanctioned violence, including a pile of bodies in a burned-out house with a little girl who reaches out to him and calls him “shushu” (which I think is a reference to something that actually happens in Qi Ye); killing that official dude and making Jing’an drink poison, from Ep 1; inserting the Seven Nails into Bi Changfeng - a whole bunch of bad shit that WKX has dug back up way more successfully with a few words than that grave he was trying to dig with his broken sword. ZZS sighs mournfully and unfairly beautifully (your FACE, my dude) over the fact that he thought he found his soulmate, but he was apparently WRONG, and meanwhile, we see Han Ying lurking worriedly and devotedly in the background.

Then, both of these morose motherfuckers proceed to drink themselves (even more) stupid over each other, WKX in a brothel and ZZS moping by himself downstairs at the (No Longer) Getting Lucky Inn, leaving poor Han Ying and A-Xiang to eventually deal with them. ZZS is literally falling over as he calls for more wine – you are a sloppy drunk, laopo, although I have to admit, you’ve worked your way through a lot of bottles, so I suppose it’s understandable – and WKX proceeds to drink his four ... five? ... four, I think, girls under the table and clearly has no intention of sleeping with them, because it might interfere with his waxing drunkenly and mournfully about finding a thing you thought you’d lost forever but not being able to keep it at the price of giving up your big revenge murder plan you’ve been working out since you were 8 years old. (Also because he’s gay af. I’m just sayin’.)

So, yeah, Han Ying and A-Xiang eventually have to deal with these two, and for my money, the single most important scene of the ep - thematically, at least - is the one we get between A-Xiang and WKX, where a couple of big things are going on. One of the themes I see again, running through this ep, is the separation between the human world and the world of “ghosts,” and how that line is policed, and how Wen Kexing tries to maintain it as a bright line, in order to maintain his own distance from Zhou Zishu and the world. Now that things have gone so spectacularly wrong with ZZS, he’s going to dig in on the “ghost” side of that line for all he’s worth – much harder than he was digging that grave for the Four Sages of Anji, given he breaks the sword and gives up halfway through on that one, but this one he’s determined to get all the way to the bedrock on. So yes, in this scene we get the theme made explicit again, of human-ghost separation - which will echo and rebound throughout the rest of the show, until we see its awful, gory truth made manifest when it turns out WKX is horrifically correct and A-Xiang is NOT, in fact, going to be allowed by “humankind” to leave Ghost Valley and walk up to the human world with her lover, while meanwhile, if WKX is going to get out of the valley, he’s not staying in the mortal world but is going to end up on the icy remote mountaintop. BUT ALSO, this may be the first time we really see the show put A-Xiang forward as a proxy for Wen Kexing. This is going to be an increasingly weighted Thing as we go on, of course, but what I didn’t remember on my first watch-through - even after I realized what they were doing with the A-Xiang/Cao Weining and Wen Kexing/Zhou Zishu parallels further down the road – is that, in this first time we really see it, it’s not even about their respective love interests, it’s about their respective relationships with Chengling. I mean, clearly, clearly, when WKX is being a drunk asshole to A-Xiang about how she’s been too long in her human skin (and huh, interesting that, when we also have instances where fake skin disguises are literal), and DON’T EVER FORGET WHO YOU ARE, HEARTLESS AMETHYST FIEND GHOST VALLEY MASTER HEARTLESS AMETHYST FIEND, and who among them would ever pity you me you, he’s really talking about his recent breakup with ZZS, in which he got called a crazed psychopath just for setting up a few amusing revenge murders. But here’s the thing – what triggers the diatribe is A-Xiang saying she feels sorry for Chengling trapped in Yueyang Sect, in the course of nattering on about what’s up with Chengling, and what she and Chengling have been doing together, and how much Chengling misses WKX. Which is, A-Xiang tells WKX, a lot. After which WKX puffs himself up and proceeds to be a drunk asshole to her, because of course, he’s not worthy of having anyone care about him, they might think he’s human, or something, and then he’s only going to get hurt again when they find out he’s NOT. So, all that happens. We also find out in this conversation that Changing Ghost was responsible for the pile of heads; that A-Xiang was at the Funeral/Wedding Game and saw Deng Kuan become the last survivor and get set free in much better condition than he later showed up at Yueyang Sect, so what the hell’s happened to him in between; and that A-Xiang definitely thinks her Murder Dad master is crazy but isn’t afraid that he’ll end up killing her someday. I mean, let’s be clear, I don’t think she’s absolutely positive that he won’t go crazy and kill her – she’s just not afraid of it. Zhou Ye is fantastic here, because she has A-Xiang give WKX this gorgeous little smile that’s so simple yet just so filled with love and trust and faith and everything that must have kept his heart alive all those years, the one that she probably gave him even after he burned her mouth on congee that was too hot, and I end up clutching my chest because I think she’s killed me. And then in a horrible twist on what’s eventually coming down the pike, she tells him that she’d follow him even if he’s crazy, and that if he killed her, she’d even follow him in death, and GOD. MY HEART. Because we’re going to see that in fact, he’s going to almost follow her into death, and then he’s going to dream of her leaving him instead of actually staying with him after death, and the only thing keeping me together at this point is the idea that Nian’xiang will actually be A-Xiang reincarnated so that she can be with WKX and the rest of her family again.

Anyway, all of this is apparently a dress rehearsal for WKX, because he then gets himself dolled up in some luscious green robes and proceeds to go to Tragicomic Ghost’s mansion in order to terrorize the troops and spread the misery. He requests a report from all of his top ten nine eight devils; credits them with three Funeral Games (I guess we don’t get to see the other two), annihilating Danyang Sect, destroying Mirror Lake Sect, killing Mount Tai Sect’s leader (Ao Laizi), and leaving a pile of heads for Yueyang Sect to find. He’s doing his best Lunatic Wen bit, but come on, my friend, do they really deserve credit for ALL of that? Do they really? It sounds like you have your suspicions, as well, because you want to know who was responsible for the Mirror Lake massacre. Everyone looks around, pointedly not meeting his eyes, so, hmm, it must have been Long-Tongued Ghost, right? Right? (Who we last saw getting killed and getting his (Danyang) Glazed Armor took by Wen Kexing while pretending to be Hanged Ghost.) Changing Ghost, who’s supposedly Long-Tongued Ghost’s superior and who’s smart enough to sense the wind shifting, even if he’s not sure in which direction, hastily says that LTGhost doesn’t listen to him anymore. (Yeah, because he’s dead.) At this point, White Grim Reaper is dumb enough to draw attention to himself, and WKX chokes him out just ‘cause. ‘Cause he’s Lunatic Wen, and fuck you, that’s why. Both Tragicomic Ghost and Beauty Ghost look more Completely Done With This Bullshit than scared – in contrast to the men, who are shitting their pants - which is an early indication that their relationships with WKX are different than his relationships with the male Devils. WKX also makes some pointed comment about how oh dear, he’s killed someone, and they were already low on manpower, but as a chief of GHOSTS, that’s all he has to work with, isn’t that RIGHT, Changing Ghost – which sounds on the surface kind of like policing that line between ghosts and humans, but really seems more like he has his suspicions about exactly who Changing Ghost is actually working with, because while he may not be as smart as A-Xu, he’s not DUMB. Now, let’s all come up with a plan to fuck over the Five Lakes Alliance during the Hero’s Conference. Aaaaand … end scene (and ep).

Meanwhile, Han Ying is dealing with his poor, drunk dumbass charge, and we see ZZS wake up in some richly appointed rooms, in some strange bed, and he’s clearly thinking “Oh snap. What I do last night?” Also, feeling the hangover. Once he manages to get his boots on, he notices a shrine, complete with candles, and just about this point, Han Ying busts in like he’s WKX or something (although to be fair, it is his bedroom), and wants to know exactly wtf is wrong with ZZS, getting blackout drunk with his actual face hanging out like he doesn’t care who recognizes him? (I just have to take a moment here, and point out that ZZS, who went all in, in the last ep, and who will continue to be the more open one as this relationship goes on, is being berated here for not wearing a mask, for showing his real self, while the issue for both A-Xiang and WKX is going to continue to be keeping on a protective mask/skin, even though WKX accuses A-Xiang himself in this very ep of thinking the mask is real and not just a cover for her true face. Anyway.) Oh, and also, My Lord, how is your injury? DO YOU NEED SOMEONE TO TENDERLY CARE FOR YOU? I like this scene, because Han Ying’s actually kind of angry at ZZS, and a little bit, he shows it, and we get to see that he’s not spineless, even in the (blindingly beautiful) face of ZZS, he’s just devoted. And if that means keeping this dumbass safe from himself, well, Han Ying will try to do that, too, even if it’s enough to drive him to find religion, as we also find out in this scene, explaining the shrine. I suppose he needs all the help he can get. Anyway, ZZS tells him that he’s too mean to die just yet, although he doesn’t expect any blessings on his path, and Han Ying responds – and I think this is important, given ZZS’s decision last ep to spend the rest of his life living instead of dying – that “any day we live is a day gained.” (HAN YING. MY BELOVED.) ZZS pulls some Glazed Armor out of his robes to give to Han Ying, and they both realize that it looks exactly like two pieces Han Ying already has his hands on, gdi WKX. At this point, ZZS reiterates that he just wants Han Ying to lay low and stay safe, Han Ying reiterates his undying devotion, and ZZS has clearly had it with these kids and their starry-eyed devotion. He tries telling Han Yng again to just live a good life - as if Han Ying is at all wired that way – before making some dramatic pronouncement about expecting to have to deal with what’s coming to him in hell and sweeping out the door in the last we see of him this ep.

Let’s see, other things that happened:

Gao Chong, Zhao Jing and Shen Shen confer over their complete loss of face in the run-up to the Hero’s Conference; Shen Shen gets very offended and denies killing Ao Laizi, which is the rumor going around town; Gao Chong says the Ghost Valley isn’t responsible for Ao Laizi’s death (which they are) or for spreading the rhyme about the Glazed Armor (which they are); Zhao Jing says Five Lakes Alliance can’t get a reputation for forcing other sects to do things (when he can manipulate them into doing what he wants), and Shen Shen wants to know WHY THE HELL NOT (oh, Shen Shen) when the jianghu has always been, and I QUOTE, “a place where the strong pery on the weak,” so again, I have to kind of side with WKX on this one about the hive of scum and villainy. Or I would if you guys seemed capable of actually accomplishing anything.

Elsewhere in Yueyang Sect, it’s been Bullying Hour again for Chengling, and A-Xiang is furious when she finds out, threatening to break the legs of whoever’s responsible for smacking him around (she really is like the most delightful Chengxian love-child, I have to say). She also has some Wolong Nuts – crispy and delicious! – for him. Gao Xiaolian shows up with some treats, but Chengling doesn’t want her food, and also he doesn’t want to marry her, because he doesn’t want to be Gao Chong’s puppet, which is kind of new, because he said a couple of eps ago at the Five Lakes monument that he would abide by Gao Chong’s decisions. I guess now that he’s found out from A-Xiang that their Murder Dads are still around, he thinks there’s still a chance to run away with them. Gao Xiolian runs away, crying. Harsh, Chengling, but it does give him the chance to complain to A-Xiang that he’s effectively under house arrest, WHERE ARE OUR MURDER DADS TO SAVE ME?

Last but not least, there’s this incredible scene with Yu Loser Qiufeng, leader of Mount Hua Sect, in which one of the Mount Hua Virgins (tm WKX) comes complaining that everyone is looking down on them. Yu Qiufeng tells him that the entire jianghu is falling apart and to suck it up, and then another Virgin (tm WKX) shows up to say that some people from Mount Tai Sect are here to talk about Dead Ao Laizi, because the Five Lakes Alliance killed him omg. Yu Quifeng’s response is literally “Tell them I’m not here,” and when the disciple wants to know how he can possibly say that, Qiufeng’s response is literally “Say I went out. Say I’m sick. Say I’m dead.” (OMG, Zongzhu can’t see you right now, he’s dead!)

[mythiccheroacademia]

“Say cheese, take a picture. Strike a pose, make a scene, take a picture.”

—Say Cheese | KiDi

Word Count: 1.3k Pairing: Todoroki Shouto X Reader Context: Soulmate!AU, Reader doesn’t live in Japan Warnings: hints of explicit content, explicit language

All characters are 18+

A/N: Welcome to the third installment of the 2.5k celebration! This wasn’t difficult but tedious? I rewrote the entire thing twice LMAO. Anyways, I think this is currently my favorite song on the list. KiDi is the man fr 🇬🇭 This is one of his newer songs and I hope I did it justice. I was thinking a fun long-distance relationship with a hint of “will you like what’s actually on the other side of screen?” No (real) angst this time! Enjoy <3

Todoroki Shouto | Say Cheese

Midoriya nearly winced as he watched his friend stab into his steak a little too harshly to be considered normal.

“Everything alright, Todoroki?”

This time, he actually winced when the icy-hot hero’s eyes flickered up to meet his own with a dirty glare.

“Right. Stupid question.”

Shouto merely grunted. Izuku sighed.

He had hoped taking Todoroki to his favorite restaurant would lift his spirits a bit after recent events. However, Midoriya should’ve known better when Todoroki got the steak instead of soba.

The green hero grimaced when he plunged the fork into the filet.

Izuku carefully chose his next words.

“You know…this doesn’t mean you’re out of the game.”

“Easy for you to say. Your soulmate didn’t ‘curve your ass like a grade’,” Shouto sourly huffed.

Izuku placed his hands against his mouth in a prayer like fashion in an attempt to hide his laugh.

What happened between you and Shouto had been a…surprise to everyone.

During a mission that required help from international heroes, Shouto had found you. His soulmate. One look at your matching birthmark and he was quick to approach you.

You two hit it off right away.

Your hero agency was only needed for a week, but Shouto had taken every opportunity he could to know you. From the way your nose twitched when you got annoyed to the silent flutter of your lashes when he softly kissed the skin beneath your collarbone. The moment he saw your smile, he adored all that was you.

The icy-hot hero had always been a bit skeptical over the concept of soulmates, yet he was ready to share his life with someone he hadn’t believed existed all but seven days ago.

When you left Japan, it was difficult.

However, you two kept in constant contact. Despite the time differences and the unconventional schedules that came with being a hero, you made it work.

Facetime calls were a must. Shouto wanted—needed—to see your face at least once a day. Whether it was to say a quick good morning or to end the night with heavy rants about hero politics, he wanted it. Even if it was just to observe you get ready for work, he’d quietly take in your beauty. He won’t admit to his secret album of screenshots.

If he couldn’t call you, he texted. Sometimes it’d be long conversations centered over food. Other times, it’d be random pics of things that reminded you of each other. He especially liked the ones he’d get late at night where the clothes you wore left little to the imagination and he’d quickly lock his office door so he could visually discover what was left behind the tiny strip of underwear.

The first “I love you’s” were exchanged over the phone and, afterwards, Todoroki had stared at your picture on his screensaver for half an hour.

Six months went by of calls, texts, pictures, and grandiose anniversary gifts, before you were able to meet again due to another mission.

When he offered to pick you up, you oddly declined. Shouto hadn’t thought anything of it.

When you finally met, you curved him.

At least, that’s how Bakugo put it.

He hugged you, you were stiff. He tried to kiss you, he caught your cheek instead. And for the rest of the day, you actively avoided him. He immediately confronted you about it and you said you were tired. That’s how you played it off for the last few days.

At first, Shouto was outright depressed. Then he was angry for a day. Now he was just bitter.

Everything was perfectly fine up until your arrival. Did he do something wrong? Were you two fighting? He didn’t understand it and it was driving him crazy thinking about it.

Izuku watched with concern as Shouto coldly rubbed the mark on his shoulder. He sighed as the temperature of the room seemed to drop.

“Don’t forget that you’re meant to be together, Todoroki. Just talk to them,” he reminded.

“How?”

“Remember how Momo’s having that pool party tomorrow?”

“Yeah…”

[Next Day]

“So, you gonna ignore your soulmate today too?” your friend, Jax, nonchalantly asked as he gathered silverware.

You miserably sighed and put your head in your hands.

“I’m the biggest dick of the century.”

“No kidding.”

“Now, now,” Momo softly chided. “You said so yourself. You were overwhelmed.”

Ochako, who stacked the food cartons, nodded in agreement. “You met your soulmate for a week and had to continue 99% of the relationship over long-distance. I can understand why you’d be scared to physically meet Todoroki again. It’s different. Especially after how serious you two got.”

“Still doesn’t abstract from your lack of communication skills,” Kai reminded. “You hurt the poor man’s feelings.”

Iida nodded. “Todoroki is…confused to say the least.”

You nervously looked up at them. “Be honest. How mad is he?”

Your friends remembered how Bakugo and Kaminari’s teasing made the usually mild-tempered hero burst into angry flames.

They looked to each other before collectively staring at you in silence.

You dramatically groaned.

“It’s not like I don’t like him anymore. I love him. I do. It’s just…I was nervous! When I saw him, I panicked!”

Unbeknownst to you, the kitchen door opened.

Iida motioned behind you. “L/N, I believe there is—”

“Shh, they’re having a moment,” Ochako quieted, oblivious.

“He’s just such a beautiful person. He’s so kind and thoughtful and he has so much good to offer the world. It blows my mind that someone like him exists. For me. It’s so easy to be my best self behind a screen. I’m just afraid he won’t like what he sees in real life…”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?”

The soft sound of your soulmate’s voice made you freeze. You slowly turned to see him stare at you with an unreadable expression.

“We’ll be outside,” Jax said before your friends filed out.

You gulped beneath the intensity of Todoroki’s stare. Not only were you embarrassed, but you were hyperaware that you were in a swimsuit. It didn’t help your nerves as you took in his well-defined muscles and the happy trail disappearing underneath his shorts.

Why does he have to be so damn fine?

Todoroki’s thoughts weren’t far behind yours as he took in your physique, but he had things to address.

“Y/N, sweetheart, please talk to me.”

“Shouto,” your fear was clear in your whisper. “I’m sorry.”

He moved closer to you and you both felt the warmth from your birthmark when his hands found solace on your hips.

“You know I love you, right? Everything about you.”

“Everything I let you see,” you gently corrected, eyes to the ground.

The shame and insecurity in your chest made your eyes burn, but you couldn’t blink the tears away before Todoroki tilted your chin to meet your gaze.

“Then, show me the rest, Y/N,” he said, voice deep and genuine. You gasped as he kissed your birthmark. “I want the good and the bad. I want you. All of you, my love.”

You closed your eyes and sighed into his embrace, letting yourself finally feel his physical presence. It was like his words melted away your doubts.

He wanted you.

Why were you trying to convince yourself otherwise?

“Okay,” you whispered, laughing through your nose.

The red and white hero pulled away to soak in your features before diving in to capture your lips. It had been six months. Six full months since you two had tasted the other and damn if it wasn’t worth the wait.

With each passing kiss, he seemed to sink deeper into you. Soon enough, you didn’t know where your mouths started or ended. All you concentrated on was how his tongue massaged your own as his hands tried to memorize every curve of your body.

Todoroki impatiently groaned as he attached his lips to the sweet spot on your neck.

“Oh! Shouto wait—”

“I meant it when I said I want you,” he growled before his hands traveled downwards and squeezed your ass.

You quickly figured out you would also be seeing more sides of your soulmate as well.

[goldenkamuyhunting]

Quick outline of the changes in Golden Kamuy Vol 24

Here is a general outline of the more relevant changes that take place in Vol 24 compared to the magazine. Note that as usual I won’t dig into minor changes or redraws unless they seem to be relevant for the plot or characterization (or I really like them).

So now let’s start.

WARNING: I hadn’t had the chance to check dialogues yet. I’ll probably do it during Christmas holidays. If there are changes in them that are relevant I’ll update this post as soon as I can.

We spend a moment on the cover, which, like the previous, shows us a character who has never appeared on a cover before and who’s also one of my fave, our charming Roger... I mean Kikuta Mokutarou.

It’s an action scene in which he’s making good use of his beloved Nagant while wearing Toni’s scarf... and he’s not alone on this cover.

Ariko is also with him, ready to fire at his opponent. The background is Sapporo as we can recognize the building as appearing in chap 232 when the characters are in Sapporo.

Really, I love this cover and I was hoping so bad to have a Kikuta cover...

Anyway this is our updated list of covers.

Noda please, give us a Boutarou cover as well!

We then move to the colour page.

It’s the image with Tsukishima and Koito that was used as a cover for chap 251. It’s a fitting image considering this volume starts with the chapter in which the cooperation between Tsukishima and Koito began.

A colour cover that was in the chapters included in this volume and that instead isn’t shown is the one of chap 234.

Maybe Noda will use it later.

No summaries for this volume. Pity.

This volume counts 9 chapters only and changes are pretty tame but, as usual there are additions of extra pages and panels to expand scenes that already were in the magazine version so we can better understand what’s going on and of scenes that are redrawn, either to improve their quality, correct mistakes or add to the plot.

Note I’m not going to add them all but only those which are plot relevant (or that I particularly like). Also no scanlations this time as the changes aren’t so characterization or plot relevant you’ll need to read a scanlation to get what’s going on. I’ll add a dialogue explanation though. Keep in mind I might be wrong.

Let’s start with chap 232.

We start with a new opening page for the chapter in which the box says we’re at Asirpa’s grandmother’s house near Otaru and we’re shown that Tanigaki is next to Inkarmat.

As many already know Noda has enlarged Tanigaki’s neck as he watched Osoma and changed a little his expression so, although I know Sensei pays a lot of attention in improving Tanigaki, I won’t show you that.

A line is added to Tsukishima’s dialogue. Now in addition to saying that it might be that Tsurumi doesn’t have a true goal he adds that it might be a lie that Tsurumi is acting for the sake of the dead comrades and for the prosperity of Japan.

Tsukishima’s memory of Tsurumi having finger bones now is enlarged and that shows clearly Tsurumi’s naked feet.

Naked feet had been used to foreshadow the death of a character so is this meant to hint at how Tsurumi too will die?

As everyone knows I’m partial for Ogata I’ll show him adjusting his bandages. I wonder, does he have the glass eye already and he’s trying to get adjusted to it?

Asirpa and Boutarou’ hair had been redrawn, which makes them better but it’s nothing big.

We move to chap 233.

After Ueji manages to disappear noda added more dialogue between Sugimoto, Shiraishi and Asirpa.

Sugimoto asks for confirmation that the boss they met was called Wakayama and Shiraishi asks Asirpa if she’s certain that guy said they would never be able to find the gold. Asirpa says that’s what it sounded like and Shiraishi asks what they will do now, wondering if they should go after the candy seller or continue to pursue the pirate. Sugimoto thinks he should have stripped the candy seller and Asirpa wonders if maybe she heard wrong.

Noda also expanded the scene with Boutarou and the old Ainu. Now Boutarou is no more heavily shaded at the start and his men are more active.

Pirate Boutarou’s main henchman (子分 ‘Kobun’) now has a name, Gontō Kōjirō (權堂 公二郎は) and he’s better drawn. 

The old Ainu says Boutarou won’t find the gold because his sons also went looking for it but it wasn’t anywhere.

Those are very good improvements, if you ask me.

Chap 234...

...continues the tradition of better drawing Boutarou’s hair (which are also often drawn longer than previously) and also gives him a better pose.

The postman also has a name now he is Nozawa Niheiji (野沢 仁平治).

Shiraishi is definitely more worried when he meets Boutarou.

...but Boutarou looks even happier to meet him, while his reaction catches the captain’s attention.

The sailors are better drawn and there’s even a new small panel of a sailor trying to catch Sugimoto’s rifle.

Sugimoto gets an extra page in which he’s shown throwing the sailor off the boat...

...and then some more panels as he fights the other sailor as well.

Really Noda is so good at drawing fighting scenes...

He also expanded the scene of Boutarou talking to Shiraishi about Sugimoto.

...and redrew Gontou with the other henchmen, who’re shown wet because they too had previously ended up in the water.

Really, a lot of additions for this chapter and I love how Noda tried giving the henchmen some characterization now, despite them being merely plot devices.

We continue with chap 235.

I’ll say in the cover Noda better drew the water. It’s not terribly relevant though, so I’m not showing it, i just love the man for the care in this details.

Better image of best boy Shiraishi...

...but there are also a lot of images that are better drawn.

The order of the panels is switched a little as in the magazine the bandits would knock at the door, then we would see Shiraishi praying the boat would hurry then we’ll go back to Asirpa and the postman.

In the volume first we see Shiraishi and Sugimoto praying the boat would hurry then we go to the bandits knocking and then to Asirpa and the postman, with the scene mostly redrawn.

Noda actually put a lot of care in redrawing the postman who now to me look even more like Clint Eastwood.

The shooting fight also gets better drawn and so the boat crashing against it. But my fave redrawn is the one of Boutarou and Shiraishi cheering, which now shows a much more happier Shiraishi and a childishly cheering Boutarou. I love those two!

Noda then proceeds to show how Boutarou is very angry at the idea 3 of his men were shoot... which better explains why he took an anchor and attacked without regard for the people. Similarly to Sugimoto, when he’s furious he’s dangerous... and it’s possible he grew so angry because he was fond of those men.

We then see Boutarou take matters (and an anchor) in his hands...

Another redrawn is in the Boutarou/Sugimoto confrontation.

And with this to chap 236 we go.

Again, some scenes or expressions are drawn better here.

Plus we get some redrawing when Boutarou explains things.

We’ve a new panel of Sugimoto turning down Boutarou’s idea.

Then we get more interaction between Boutarou and Sugimoto as Sugimoto’s reveal of his past now involves more Shiraishi and Asirpa.

And we better dig into Boutarou’s connection with Sugi.

Sugimoto’s expression after he pet the cat is much more dramatic...

...his eyes losing their light.

Chap 237 continues expanding things.

We get a flashback in which Boutarou remembers the cigarette case was Heita’s.

The volume shows us the gold is a lot more than the one we see in the magazine version.

The scene about Botarou trying to kill Sugimoto and Shiraishi is expanded.

Boutarou seems genuinely shocked when Gontou is hit by the spinning wheel, stretching is hand as if he were wishing to bring him aid.

Differently from teh magazine he won’t be smiling when he tries to drwon Sugimoto...

...and the two will fight a lot more. Sugimoto tries to kick Boutarou a lot and Boutarou uses his long hair to tie Sugimoto’s foot and pull him down.

It’s beautiful and definitely worth buying the manga.

We are at Chap 238.

A small panel about Asirpa explaining Sugimoto about Heita.

We’ve then more interaction between Boutarou and Asirpa.

I find interesting how again we’re show Sugimoto saying hinna but not Asirpa.

And so we reach chap 239.

Jack/Ostrog’s face is still kept in the dark at first, but his clothes are much more visible. The battle between him and Usami is expanded and sorry, no, I’m not going to show it. Still Noda is more comfortable showing him, his face partially visible (and Kikuta too as his eyes were back in the magazine).

And it’s when Kikuta see him we’ve the big reveal and it makes A LOT MORE SENSE having it here than as late as it happened in the manga. And honestly that lateness feels it was due to Noda not having chosen yet how to characterize him.

We can also see that on his genitals there’s a birthmark... which explains why Kikuta comments on getting a look on his face and member, because now he can recognize him either by looking at his face or by looking at... something else.

So yeah, Ostrog/Jack stops being a dark silouette.

Noda let us hear his thoughts after he killed those two women.

We’ve a flashback from Kikuta, showing Jack/Ostrog’s face and how he had a birthmark in a... peculiar area, which is why Kikuta remarked it was relevant he saw it.

And now we move to the last chap of the volume chap 240.

Ostrog is now clearly visible where before he was just a dark shadow.

A new panel showing how Kirawus... well, he didn’t quite disguise himself, albeith he did something, he tried to sell fireworks.

Another new panel showing how Kadokura in his disguise, can’t pick up coins.

When Ishikawa explains about Jack the Ripper Noda added people walking in the image of the city he drew and also showed a nespaper talking of Jack. The writing on the newspaper explains how in Japan the case became a hot topic in 1888 and how in 1900 they started to call the killer ‘Kirisaki Jack' (切り裂きジャック “Jack the ripper”).

We’ve another image of Ostrog/Jack when Ishikawa talks about him.

And we finish with the last page which shows the faces of Ostrog and Ueji.

And that’s all.

Well, actually no. The one thanking the editor is...  I’ll let you see for yourself.

And that’s all for this volume. While there’s nothing drastic in terms of new content, it better flashed out the relationship between Boutarou and his underlings, giving a name to the main one of them, better showed how Boutarou fought underwater and handled Ostrog/Jack WAAAYYY better than the magazine version where it seems Noda remained undecided on his character design for a much longer time and that’s why he obscured his face, making the reveal pretty anticlimatic as nothing big justifying it happened.

Here instead it’s just perfect so really, I recommend you to buy this new volume of Golden Kamuy, either in Japanese or as soon as it comes out in your country!

[seijorhi]

I am sorry this is so late to the ask about favorite fics, but I am a slow not so great writer, and it is also very long 😬. But I still wanted to share this with you, and I hope you like it! Anyways here’s my top ten!

1.) Et Tu

So this is my favorite and most reread. You build the tension so masterfully that it is like a noose tightening around the mc’s neck. The glances and looks from each team member during practice are used to skillfully inform the reader and are used as reference during the confrontation (gotta love continuity!). The fact that you referenced earlier in the fic made me super happy. I immediately knew you were a good writer the second I read it (I mean I already knew you were good, but I feel it was this moment I was like your not just good but phenomenal) The confrontation scene is amazing it had me going from anticipation and curiosity to thirsty so fast. I also liked the fact that you once again described the team in the locker room, so we could know how their dynamic with the reader changed once they were in private. Is beautiful 100/10 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️/5 gold stars

2.) Like Nobody Else

You are a queen of building tension as seen in most of your works, but this one was the pinnacle of everything I wanted:

soulmates ☑️, yandere ☑️, smut ☑️

Like you put all of my favorites in one fic and I was like ma’am this is some queen level writing. It’s so amazing I have read it multiple times. Will read it again. Never gets old. Will probably go reread it again now.

3.) Bully

Ah yes once again the spice that gives me life ~tension~. So much so that it is the first thing I have written for all top 3. Your just so good at writing it. Unfortunately I don’t really know how to explain how amazing you are at building tension. Like I can cut the tension in your writing with a super dull plastic butter knife (if that even makes sense???). I like how in this fic it isn’t just Oikawa, but also his fan club getting involved. Whenever his fan club is involved it’s like soft very small crime Lord vibes cause it’s other people doing his bidding. I will get my mafia au fix in anyway I can get it until you update Lion’s Den. Ok got off track there, anyways I like all the character interactions in this fic and how Oikawa corners the readers throughout it. Also I have thoroughly enjoyed all the Drabbles you wrote for Bully.

4.) Feral

This is the first fic of yours I read. I love this one as well as your other BNHA fics. I love how you write Hawks in this, and the more you write BNHA fics the better you’ve gotten at writing the characters. There is always a learning curve when writing a for a new character or fandom, but as you’ve gotten more comfortable writing in this world your works have improved. This is the fic I felt as a reader you were getting more comfortable writing for BNHA. It’s such a good fic too. I love how you wrote snapped Hawks in this. I am so happy I found you and this fic.

5.) For Old Times Sake

I love this one so much. Probably cuz the Miya twins are in it lol. I don’t know why?? but I love your description of the pool flashback I just do? Like I will go open the fic and scroll right to that part and reread it. Like I love that scene so much that when you open your requests back up Imma probably ask for a prequel just for an extended pool scene. Like the twins orchestrating getting everyone drunk and then once the reader is making out with them each twin takes turns shooing everyone else out of the pool so they can be alone~.

Anyways amazing fic. Like so good in fact that I moved it up the list twice.

6.) Dirty

👏 MY CRUSTY BOI 👏

You did so good with the smut in this fic. I know you said you were going to practice writing smut more and I want you to know it either A.) paid off (even though I didn’t think you needed practice it the first place because your good at writing smut) or B.) in the case this was practice that you no longer need to practice and that you are now a smut master. Good stuff, and was an amazing surprise to find during my daily check of your tumblr. Here another gold star to add to your collection ⭐️

7.) Good Girl

I call this one the OG even though it isn’t your first fic. I think I started calling it the OG once I figured out it was your first Haikyuu!! smut on AO3. I really liked all the character interactions in this. If you ever feel up to posting the first draft with yandere Sugawara so we can see how the original confrontation plays out and how this changes the interactions I would love to read it. Cause honestly the more yanderes the better lol. Also Oikawa was really hot in this like 🥵. Love reading the second chapter cause the smut is fantastic. Also really liked the cliffhanger to be continued ending that also has a certain amount of finality to it. I have no clue how you were able to write the ending like this for Good Girl or any of your other fics, but I’m happy you write the endings this way. It leaves me fine with the ending you have but leaves the door open for you to revisit and add more to completed fics which can be done through drabbles or with a part 2. Just really well done 👍

8.) Dear Old Friend

First Atsumu, then we get Kiyoomi, and then in a drabble Osamu!!! Hell yeah! The interaction between the reader the yanderes is so different compared to your other fics and I really enjoyed drunk reader. Drunk reader is always fun would read anytime.

9.) Outrunning Fate and Breaking Point

People have said it before and I’ll say it again your souls mate fics are phenomenal. As if that wasn’t enough then you wrote drabbles about both fics. It’s like your trying to steal my heart here like damn. I loved both these fics so much that I couldn’t decide between the two and now they both get to be here. Part of this decision came from the fact that both fics have wildly different dynamics, and the other half was me unable to leave one off the list.

10.) Bite the Bullet

YAAS! Love the make out scene in this and the possessiveness of the Shiratoizawa team. My goodness just take all of my gold stars why don’t you ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Side notes to the top ten list:

- Like I knew what Haikyuu!! was I just hadn’t read or watched it yet when I came across your works. So while I was reading everything I kept on having to google characters and read their wiki pages lol. You know a fanfic is good when you dedicate yourself to entering a new fandom.

-I get so nervous writing Japanese names since my autocorrect is so sensitive and corrects them when I don’t notice so I don’t use a lot of the character’s names lol

-I wrote this before Split came out otherwise it would have been on the list, and I also forgot that Final girl existed and then went to make sure I got all the titles right and was like 🤭 oh no. But alas the list was already made.

-I went into this being all serious and then .2 seconds later it turned into whatever the hell my bastard hands typed so my bad. Also I feel as if I come off as aggressive at points and I need you to know I’m not trying to be aggressive I’m just very passionate about how good u are at writing.

-anyways

-YOUR SO GOOD AT WRITING💖

-sorry for yelling

-please get some sleep u are precious and need to rest. very happy u were able to finish writing split, but would be even happier if you didn’t derive yourself of sleep to get it done. take care of yourself first, writing second

I just-

thank you so much oh my god this is like the sweetest ask I’ve ever gotten i’m crying like?? who gave you the right?? sdfghghjk i’m gonna need a moment 😭

[kirislut]

HEATHER WITH DEKU PLEASE-

“heather”

a/n: ok i love this song a lot! but man this was so difficult to write because i feel like i’m not good with conveying sadness, but it’s good practice!

song prompt: heather by conan grey

warnings: this is just angst, sad times

taglist (open): @katsushimaa @meliorist-midoriya @softieshoto @animatedarchives @bbakougo @grow-a-smile-for-a-while @finndaydreams @deephasoceanmagic @nieve-blancas @bunnythepipsqueak

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

falling in love was supposed to be something so beautiful, so amazing. it’s one thing that many people yearn to have. so why did no one tell you that falling in love could hurt so much, especially when it was one sided.

falling in love with midoriya was easy, he was a sweet and caring person. anyone could be charmed by his kindness. you definitely had been charmed by that.

one time after night time training, you were heading back to your dorm, but since it was becoming winter time you were very cold. midoriya saw you hugging yourself as you walked back to the dorms, and immediately jogged over time you.

“hey (y/n)! here, have my sweater, i’m not feeling cold anyways.” midoriya held out his folded sweater to you, at first you refused because you felt bad, but he kept on insisting. so you eventually gave in and put it on, “see? it even looks better on you than me!” midoriya smiled softly, glad that you were warm. he also made sure to walk with you back to the dorms, asking about how training was for you.

that was the moment you feelings for the green haired boy started to grow. even when you tried to return the sweater he insisted you keep it, he even wanted you to keep it on you so you wouldn’t get cold again.

the both of you started to talk and hang out more after the sweater incident. you sat at midoriya’s table with everyone else, he would usually walk with you back to the dorms, and if you needed to study you would go midoriya for help. thanks to midoriya you were even able to get closer to todoroki and iida!

but your feelings for the green haired boy just continued to grow and grow the more time you spent with him. the only problem was that you knew ochaco also had feelings towards midoriya, but she didn’t know of your feelings.

as if it couldn’t get any worse, you started to notice that midoriya would be even more flustered around the brunette girl. if ochaco ever accidentally bumped into him he would turn into a flustered and stuttering mess. his eyes seemed more drawn to her, almost like a magnet pulling him in.

it was fine, you were strong and could handle it. besides you knew that there was a chance midoriya might not have feelings for her. yet you couldn’t help but feel you stood no chance.

but your strength crumbled when one day, ochaco ran up to you, a huge grin on her face as she told you the news. midoriya gave her one of his sweaters since she was feeling cold. ochaco didn’t even notice the stunned look you had as she jumped up and down in happiness.

all you could do was smile at her, telling her you were happy for her while you were breaking down inside. luckily she ran off to tell the other girls about the sweater. the fact that memory you held so dear, was now someone else’s? that it was now ochaco’s of all people? you thought you were special to midoriya, but it didn’t feel like that anymore.

you were pulled from your thoughts when you felt a cool sensation on your shoulder, “(l/n)-san?” todoroki was standing in front of you, right hand on your shoulder. you didn’t even notice when he got in front of you. “sorry todoroki, i didn’t even notice you.” you smiled sheepishly, trying to hide the fact that you felt like crying your eyes out.

“is this because of midoriya and uraraka?” your eyes widened at his question, you didn’t think todoroki would be the one to see your feelings. so you simply nodded, letting the frown envelop your face.

todoroki himself wasn’t sure what to do. he had noticed your change of demeanor around midoriya and after doing some research, asking his older sister, he was able to conclude you had ‘feelings’ for midoriya. but none of this helped him with comforting you.

“todoroki is it ok if i hug you? i just really need one..” the stoic boy hesitated for a moment before nodding. you wrapped your arms around his shoulder, hiding your face in his chest as tears pooled in your eyes. todoroki stood there, not sure what to do at first. but he let one arm around your waist, his other hand gently patting the top of your head to hopefully call you down. “there there...”

after that you and todoroki headed back to your dorm, you explained everything to him. about your feelings for midoriya, about you still having his sweater, and about how you don’t want to tell ochaco. todoroki promised to not leak any of this information, besides he felt a little proud that one of his theories were true for once. but he also wanted to help you, since he considered you a friend. he was pretty sure friends helped each other.

things started to look up for you after confiding in todoroki. even though you were still hurt, you were trying your best to be hopeful. you still remained close to midoriya, he was still sweet as ever and you both clicked like normal. yet you couldn’t help but notice he was drifting away slightly, something was a little off. he seemed less excited than usual, and he didn’t want to study as often as before. this continued on and you were starting to get worried.

after a week of his changed attitude, you were determined to confront him about it. you were heading towards his dorm room, thinking of how to ask him about it. but as you rounded the corner you stopped dead in your tracks, eyes wide in horror at the scene in front of you.

standing in front of midoriya’s dorm was a very flustered midoriya, being kissed by ochaco. midoriya’s eyes widened when he saw you standing there, he pulled away from the kiss. but before he could say anything you turned around and bolted away from the scene as fast as you could.

you ran and ran, only stopping when you were inside your room. your legs gave out from underneath you, forcing you to sit on the ground as your heart pounded in your chest. pounded and crumbled. you couldn’t believe it, it couldn’t be true. maybe your eyes were playing cruel tricks in you. maybe it wasn’t a kiss.

but you knew, you knew that your fear of midoriya not liking you back was true. realizing that was painful, it felt like you were twisting the knife in your own aching heart. before you knew it, sobs began to rack through your body. tears ran down your cheeks as your sat there, utterly heartbroken.

you never had a chance to begin with, how could you? you felt like you weren’t even half as pretty as ochaco. it made sense to you even if you hated it, he liked ochaco better. she was so sweet and kind, practically a perfect pair for midoriya. and now you couldn’t help but wish to be her, wished you were ochaco.

little did you know, that midoriya saw your hug with todoroki. he was planning on confessing to you on that day, yet after he saw that he lost all confidence in himself. he only distanced himself from you because it pained him to be around you after seeing you so close another. he assumed you didn’t like him, that you liked todoroki instead. midoriya wasn’t even upset with todoroki, it made sense for you to like him anyways. he was so strong and smart, but him? he felt like he didn’t posses half the talent todoroki did.

so when ochaco confessed to him, he was going to turn her down, but she kissed him before he could say anything. then that’s when you saw. midoriya had never felt so panicked before in his life. especially when he saw your hurt expression. but now he just felt helpless, if you liked todoroki, why did you look so hurt? maybe, just maybe, he had a chance.

[casey-v]

Trauma

Ethan x Casey

Here’s a one shot of chapter 13. The scene in the on call room didn’t feel like fluff, so this is mostly drama. This time it’s only Casey’s POV because for me it was too difficult to find out what was going on in Ethan’s head.

Disclaimer: characters owned by PB

Words: 2,3K

Casey stared at the door of the on call room that had just been slammed in her face. Hoping Ethan would come back, she just sat there and waited, not really able to capture what had just happened. But, of course, he didn't reappear. So, she left frustrated and wandered through the halls of Edenbrook, deeply immersed in her thoughts.

Why was fate messing with her like this? They had just started a wonderful relationship in which Ethan had finally opened up to her. Since Danny’s funeral, she had spent three nights at his apartment and every second of it was pure bliss. Being alone, outside the hospital, he was so relaxed and happy, it made her heart melt. Sometimes they had a wordless understanding that was amazing. When he was relaxed it was so easy to talk to him about nearly everything and they laughed together endlessly. And of course, they had......mmmmmh…..God, he felt so great.

And now a few minutes with his mother seemed to have ruined everything. That man in the on call room was a stranger to her. No, in fact, it reminded her of the Dr. Ramsey in the days of her early internship, when he was sometimes acting like a jerk and being rude and moody. She had thought that this man was long gone. But unfortunately, the encounter today brought him back and all the walls around him were back up again.

 Her feet had brought her to a certain office door. She didn’t know that this was, what she needed, until she was there. She hesitated and knocked. “Come in,” a friendly voice was heard from inside the office. When Casey opened the door, she saw Naveen’s face brighten up. Instantly she felt a little better. There was just something about him, that lifted your spirits. He was always good humored and positive, even last year, on his supposed deathbed. Ever since, they had a special bond and although they didn’t meet a lot, they were very fond of each other.

“Casey! So, rumors are true. You didn’t stay at home like I told you. But it’s good to see you.” He came over and hugged her.

“Good to see you too, Naveen. My landlord needed medical help this morning, so I brought him here and then I just stayed. It’s so boring at home and I like to keep myself distracted.” She smiled at him, trying to hide her current state. But he knew her to well.

“Well, if I may say it, you don’t look too good. Are you sure, this isn’t too soon?” He took her gently by her arm and led her to the couch to sit down. “Oh, it’s not work that is bothering me right now” She couldn’t keep her eyes from getting wet. Naveen sighed and rolled his eyes. “What has he done now?”

Through her tears she laughed. “Why do you think this is about Ethan?” Naveen had a sparkle in his eyes. “I know you and, most importantly, I know him, so this was easy to figure out. What happened?”

Casey’s expression darkened. “How much has he told you about his family background?” “A lot, I guess. Are you referring to his mom leaving?” She nodded and just spilled the whole story.

“She’s here. Came in this morning as a patient, unconscious on an opioid overdose. Ethan and I were in the ER at that moment. He was shocked. We gave her naloxone, then he just said something like ‘Nurse, take care of her’ and ran off. I found him later in an on call room, yelling angrily. He wouldn’t let me talk to him, just slammed the door in my face and left.” Naveen had listened closely, his gaze concerned. “I’m so sorry, Casey. I know he can be difficult at times. Ethan has this anger buried deep down inside of him, ever since his mother left him. Growing up with his father he never learnt to express his feelings or even worse, he never allowed himself feelings. He thinks he needs to be tough all the time. And then, when all those bad memories come rolling over him, he can’t deal with it.”

Casey thought a long moment about these words. Of course, it was perfectly clear, that Ethan had trouble talking about his feelings. But the last days had proven that he damn well was able to show his affection for her. “The thing is: Since my night in isolation a lot has changed between us.”

Casey blushed and didn’t dare to say more, but Naveen smiled and put his warm hand on hers. “You don’t have to be afraid to tell me anything. Even if I’m chief of medicine I’m also your friend and you know that I always wanted to see the two of you together. Ethan has changed so much since you came here and I’m really happy for you. He almost lost his mind that night of the assault.”

“It was terrible for all of us, but for what it’s worth it also brought us even closer together. Despite all the aftermath of the attack the past days have been great. Today though, it feels that all of this has vanished.”

“It’s a lot to ask from you in your current condition, Casey, but he needs you right now. He probably hasn’t said it yet, but I can see that he loves you with all his heart. Please don’t give up on him.” Naveen squeezed Casey’s hand tightly.

“I won’t, I couldn’t. But the question is: will he let me help him?””

***

Later Casey went to check on Louise. She was stable but not yet in a good condition. Talking to her felt odd, so she kept the conversation short. “Mrs. Ramsey, do you want me to call anybody?” It took Louise some time to answer. “I suppose you could call my ex-husband, Alan Ramsey. He lives in Providence, though.” “Sure, I’ll try to reach him. Ahm, a psychologist will stop by later. And if there is anything else you need, just tell the nurses.”

***

The rest of the day Casey tried to avoid meeting Ethan, but talking to Naveen had given her confidence, that everything would work out for the best. She didn’t want to confront the attending during working hours, so she planned to talk to him at night. The more she thought about it, the more she realized, that she may have overreacted after his outburst and that he probably would be much better by now anyway. How wrong she was became obvious the moment she stepped out of the elevator and saw Ethan and Alan standing in the hallway, involved in a heated discussion. “That’s all there is to say, dad. And now I have work to do.” Ethan’s face was red with rage. As he turned around to enter his office, he directly looked at Casey. “Dr. Valentine, in my office now.”

At first Casey was too shocked to move. Alan took some steps backwards, deeply embarrassed by his son’s behavior. “Hello Mr. Ramsey,” was all Casey could muster before she followed Ethan.

 The door wasn’t even closed behind her when he was at her. “How dare you call my dad!”

“Excuse me! How dare you talk to me like this. This has nothing to do with you. Louise asked me to call him and that’s what I did. That’s how we take care of our patients. You taught me, that every patient is worth any treatment. How can you deny her visitors?” Ethan was silenced for a moment and rubbed his neck. He seemed to calm down a little. “You could have asked me to call him or at least warn me.” In contrast to him, Casey was just getting heated up. “Really? After your outburst this morning? You said, you had more important patients and didn’t want to deal with her. Get a grip, Ethan, you’re being totally unreasonable. You say she’s nothing but a stranger to you, but never on earth would a stranger affect you the way she does. You tell me not to run away from my PTSD while you've been carrying around your own trauma for 26 years. This has to stop now!”

Ethan was pacing up and down, yelling back at her. “Don’t you think I know that. Do you think I like what she’s doing to me? But I will never forgive that she left, just like that, without a word, not caring about me anymore.”

Casey inhaled deeply to get her voice under control. “You don’t have to forgive her; you just have to understand what happened. Now is the chance for closure. Talk to her. Not for her sake but for your own. Hear her story. You need to hear the reason for her leaving. It's not your fault that she left and probably also not your father’s fault either. Maybe she already had mental health problems back then, who knows. Everybody is a victim here. Maybe she just couldn't stand herself, couldn’t handle her life. That doesn't mean that she didn't love you. If you don't talk to her now, you'll maybe never get another chance.”

Ethan was sitting on the couch now, his face in his hands and mumbled. “Ok, I’ll think about it.” Then he glanced back at Casey, forcing a smile. “Do you want me to cook dinner tonight?”

She shook her head frustrated, her arms dangling loose by her sides. “That`s it? You just change the subject? I don’t believe it. No, I don’t want to be with you tonight. This day has been exhausting enough, I need to relax, watch a senseless movie, go to bed early, whatever.” She turned around and opened the door to leave when she heard his tight voice. “Only tonight?”

As she glimpsed back at him over her shoulder, she felt so sorry for him how he sat there, slumped down, observing her insecurely. In the past they had argued a lot about work related issues and she always stood her ground, but so far, she had never stood up for herself when it came to their personal relationship. Being patient and accepting his wishes was all she had ever done. But for once, she knew, she had to put herself first, although the urge to take him in her arms was almost unbearable.

“For someone so intelligent you can be so stupid sometimes. Of course, only tonight. Do you really think I’ve been waiting all this time only to run away after the first argument? I couldn’t, even if I wanted to, because the problem is, I love you, however bad you treat me. But that doesn’t mean I have to like it. You're not the only one who is able to slam some doors. “

With that she turned and slammed the door as predicted. She knew this was a bit ridiculous, but it felt really good. Only then did she realize what she had just said to him. Her hand flew over her mouth. That's not at all how she imagined saying those three words for the first time. She lingered a while in front of his door, unsure what to do, before she went home.

***

Instead of watching a movie Casey ended up playing video games with Elijah. Killing dark creatures helped her let off some steam and she enjoyed spending time with Elijah. They had just freed themselves out of a dungeon when her phone rang. There was only one person who would call her at that hour.

“Sorry Elijah, I have to take this.” She grabbed her phone and went into her room.

“Hey!” – “Casey!?” Ethan’s desperate voice made her cringe. “Can I come up?” – “Where are you?” – “Right outside.” A few seconds there was silence. Casey had told him, that she wanted to be alone, but it meant so much to her, that he came to her.

“What do you want?”

“To be with you.”

A single tear rolled down her cheek. “Ok, I’ll open the door for you.”

As he entered the apartment, she quickly pulled him past the grinning Elijah into her room and immediately found herself tightly wrapped in Ethan’s embrace. She smelled a mixture of his cologne and scotch. They clung to each other as if they had to shield themselves against a heavy storm. Casey felt his tears running down her neck. Soothingly her hand travelled up and down his spine. An eternity later he loosened his grip and touched her forehead with his.

“I’m so sorry, Casey. What kind of asshole pushes away the one person, that is always there no matter what?”

She lifted her hand and touched his cheek very softly. “Come on, let’s just go to bed.” Quietly they got undressed and crawled into the covers, her back against his chest, arms wrapped, fingers laced. Words weren’t necessary right now, the only thing they needed was to feel the presence of the other one.

As Casey was half asleep already, she felt Ethan’s whisper against her ear. “If I …, I don’t know yet, but just in case, …I mean …if I talk to her, would you come with me?”

“Is this a rhetorical question or are you really unsure of my answer?” She turned to look at him, their noses almost touching, and waited. He seemed to weigh his answer before he spoke again. “You know I’d hate to presume anything.”

Casey moved closer to put a sweet kiss on his lips. Then she sent him a warm smile and lost herself in his blue eyes, only lit by the moonlight. 

“Regarding me and you, Ethan, you always can presume.”

------------------

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[veliseraptor]

I can't remember if anyone has actually asked you this. I apologise beforehand if you're repeating yourself. What are your three favourite scenes in The Untamed and why?

(Love how this took so long, mostly because I was waiting to get through all the listed moments in my rewatch. Anyway! It’s here now!)

Oh, fuck. 

Okay, I couldn’t keep it to three. I tried! I did! But I couldn’t. So here is a list of just general favorite scenes with the three scratched off. I realized belatedly that most of these are just painful because I love pain I guess??? but yeah that’s just who I am and I think I have to accept that.

Under a read more because Jesus this got long.

1. The entire scene at Nightless City culminating in Wei Wuxian’s death. Like, okay, honestly, if I could expand this into basically everything between Jin Zixuan’s death and Wei Wuxian’s, I’d do that, but that feels like too much even though in my head it is all sort of...one contiguous marathon of pain. But god!!! I have a whole thing for...characters hitting their breaking point, for breaking points in general, for seeing a character I love just...crack open, and that’s what happens here.

Like. Wei Wuxian’s been cracking for a while, and there’s a number of breaking points that kind of build on each other, but this is, obviously, where the real snap happens.

And on a narrative level, too, there’s the thing that...this is the point that we as the audience have been spiraling toward since first seeing the beginning of episode one. This is where the entire long stretch of flashback has been pointing - here’s where it culminates, where it falls into place, where everything circles back to where the show started and now you know exactly how it got there. 

Also I just. Love to suffer, and this entire scene is one whole long stretch of suffering. 

2. The golden core reveal. Oh man, I was waiting for this conversation for, like. Ever. I knew it was coming and I knew it was going to have to happen and I just kept being like. When will it be. When will it be and then it happened and god it was beautiful. Everything about this whole scene was just tailor made to hurt me and make me love it, from the confrontation in the ancestral shrine right down to when Jiang Cheng bolts in a panic. 

I hurt for everyone here. Wen Ning who has hit the end of his rope and is just fed up with everything. Jiang Cheng whose world is getting turned upside down and inside out and a whole lot of things falling into place all at once, his self-conception wrecked and his understanding of Wei Wuxian both opened and destroyed. Lan Wangji who is understanding what he missed and, I think, beating himself up about having missed it, and also the fresh understanding of just how ready Wei Wuxian is to throw himself under a bus for the people he loves. Wei Wuxian who doesn’t know any of this is happening but has just collapsed after running on fumes basically since resurrecting and is going to find out later that the biggest secret he’s been keeping and planned to keep for the rest of his life is now out. 

It’s just. Lord. It’s all so painful and it’s all so good, the payoff is so good, and especial mention here of Wen Ning’s done with your shit and I’m not taking it anymore face as he brandishes Suibian at Jiang Cheng not as a weapon, exactly, but a little bit.

(He doesn’t bite but he can hurt you in other ways!)

Anyway, this isn’t actually saying anything coherent, really, except just a lot of “ahhhhh” screaming about this scene and everything in it and everyone suffering in it and just. What a moment. 

3. The excruciating conversation between Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian in episode 48. Oh my god. Ohhhh my god. Okay, so, I’m always going to be a sucker for extremely painful and difficult sibling confrontations where everyone is spilling their feelings everywhere and it’s just a lot, and this was like. I remember on my first watch when this happened and I was like. Holy shit. This. This was what I needed. This!!!! 

And then no real resolution after, orz. But that’s what fanfiction is for. And there’s glimpses of the possibility, for sure, I Believe.

But anyway! And on rewatch this conversation just gets better and also more painful because of the ways that while it is finally a conversation that Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng have sort of needed to have for, like, ever, it’s also one that rips open a lot of old wounds and it is also one that involves a painful amount of talking past each other. 

There’s a long meta post somewhere (sorry! I never know how to find the meta I’m looking for when I want it and I’m lazy right now!) about how what Jiang Cheng needs to hear is that Wei Wuxian loves and cares about him, and what he does hear is that Wei Wuxian is, once again, cutting himself off, that it was all always about debts and obligations and nothing more. And what Wei Wuxian is trying to do is release Jiang Cheng from being tied to him by those debts and obligations, to give him freedom, with I think the idea of creating a clean slate that’s not tainted by everything that went wrong before. He thinks Jiang Cheng needs to be released, but what Jiang Cheng needs is to be held.

(Both of them do! Both of them need that! Both of them need to feel loved and cherished and these things also specifically by each other!)

And I just. I just cry a lot.

But it is also beautiful, in the way that it captures so much about their relationship and the blood and hurt and tenderness and love all tied excruciatingly together, the ways that they hurt and have hurt each other, the ways they push and pull, all of Jiang Cheng’s anger and hurt spilling out everywhere in a way that I think has been building for 16 years. It’s not closure, but it is a catharsis. 

And for Wei Wuxian - I think it has to be, on some level, a relief. Even as it’s painful, even as it is exactly what he never wanted to happen, the secret is out now and he doesn’t have to hold onto it anymore. They are both - in his eyes - free. 

It’s just...a wrenching conversation that hits, like, sixty of my buttons at once and gives me a whole lot of emotions. 

4. asldkajsldfkj the flashback to Xiao Xingchen’s suicide in episode 39 and what comes after, just go ahead and kill me now. Like okay it’s probably obvious by now that I live in this hole called “Yi City, my Xue Yang feelings, and my XueXiao feelings,” and during this liveblog I specifically spilled several posts and screenshots worth of them, but god!!!! it’s just so much. Like, the entire Yi City arc is messy and painful as hell, it’s just like being put through an emotional wringer where I hurt for everyone in it, but this is the part that is especially excruciating because everyone in this emotional climax is suffering so much. 

And, like. We knew where this would end. We knew Xiao Xingchen died, and a-Qing was just killed, and at this point Xue Yang is dying. No one is getting out of this alive - but we haven’t seen yet exactly how things closed out. And the answer is “badly. it’s badly.” 

Both of these people in the very bad breakup scene are hurting. Xiao Xingchen is in agony, his life falling apart in his hands - everything he thought he knew has been a lie, he’s been tricked, played for a fool. And the hammer blows keep coming. It’s not enough that it’s Xue Yang, that Xue Yang has been fucking with him (as far as he knows), lying to him, for three years. It’s what Xue Yang reveals about what he’s done. And then it’s what Xue Yang reveals about what he’s done to Song Lan.

And on the other end - Xue Yang’s weird fake domestic life that he’s gotten attached to, Xiao Xingchen who he’s come to care about - it’s imploding, irrevocably, in front of his face. And first he tries to explain himself, sort of, but he must know it’s not going to work; and then he goes back to what he does best and lashes out. You’re going to hurt me? I’ll hurt you fifty times as much.

I think he expects a fight. Or maybe, at most, he expects Xiao Xingchen to break down, and maybe he has some vague idea that then he can say see, this is what the world is really like, now you get it and rebuild him in some kind of Xue Yang-esque image (though I don’t think he really thinks that’ll happen). He doesn’t expect Xiao Xingchen to kill himself. He doesn’t expect Xiao Xingchen to die.

And then he doesn’t expect to not be able to get him back.

It’s just. This whole arc is people destroying each other and themselves body and soul, and this is the climax of it, the breaking point. And it hurts, real bad.

And as we have established! I love to suffer.

5. Drunk Lan Wangji, take two. All of these are like. “Pain! Pain! Pain!” and here we are with some goofy antics instead. I mean, the intro to drunk!Wangji is sad in the way that it has to do with what happened to Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen (and Lan Wangji’s always feelings about those parallels ouch), but then...I mean, drunk!Wangji is just generally adorable, but here he is especially adorable. 

Chicken theft! Vandalism! Trespassing! His adorable little smile when Wei Wuxian asks if he likes rabbits and he’s like. Yeah. :) :)

And then we close out with more emotions, of course. Because it’s not The Untamed without a little bit of pain thrown in there. 

“I have regret,” Lan Wangji says, a confession of fault, and of course Wei Wuxian can’t receive it, or won’t - and Lan Wangji reacts to his attempt at absolution by basically doing his usual “I don’t want to talk about this” routine of just bluntly changing the subject (in this case “going to bed now goodnight.”).

Also the entire bit where he goes from hopelessly drunk to fighting off an opponent and then back to hopelessly drunk, like. Even drunk!Wangji can and will kick your ass. 

And all of Wei Wuxian just like. Basically trip babysitting him? Gently trying to herd him around? The gentleness and fondness of it all?

Good. All good.

6. Qiongqi Path, take one. Emotional mauling! Terrifying evil flute Wei Wuxian! Dramatic face-off between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji! The beginning of Lan Wangji’s moral crisis! (Or, okay, not the beginning but this is definitely a major breaking point for his worldview, I think, and where his questioning really, truly begins.) 

It’s just...a lot of good. Everything with Wen Qing searching for Wen Ning’s body hurts so bad. Wei Wuxian coming stalking back into the camp with vengeance on the brain is as gloriously sexy as that vibe always is on him. And the confrontation between Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian? oh man. 

Juicy. And also. Ouch. 

(And am I a sucker for everything about ‘former allies ending up on opposite sides and one of them saying something along the lines of ‘if I’m going to die then I’d rather it was you who killed me’ yes I sure am! I didn’t cry nearly as much on my third watch but this scene is another one of my points that I think of when I think of bits in The Untamed that make me cry.

And as we’ve established already, I just love to cry.

7. God like. All of episode 19? Is that cheating? But it’s all so good! We have suffering Wei Wuxian! Mouthing off while being tortured! The entire sequence of him grabbing the sword and that moment of choice where his life turns as he answers that question (do you want revenge?) with a resounding yes? 

Lan Wangji absolutely fucking up some Wens on a desperate quest for Wei Wuxian? Teaming up with Jiang Cheng? (Do I still want to see more of that team up in that time? Yes please!!) SPOOKY FUCKING FLUTE MUSIC STARTING SIGNALING EXTREMELY OMINOUS THINGS TO COME?

Anyway it’s all very “fuck yeah, this is all quite tailored to me and my interests, thank you.”

8. Jiang Yanli coming for Jin Zixun’s life. I feel like I should just link to this analysis of this scene that really breaks it all down in detail? But god so satisfying. I mean, Jin Zixun is truly one of the most hateable characters in this show, in my opinion, and seeing Jiang Yanli step up and politely and meticulously demolish him is like. So satisfying. 

The face of a woman about to murder someone. But with words.

I really wish we could’ve seen more of this Jiang Yanli, because before this point she’s all softness and gentleness and while that’s very true of her - this part of her is also there, always, and I’d love to have seen more of it.

But like. Getting it here? Stunning. Showstopping. Love it.

9. Wei Wuxian wrecks a party, but, like, sexily. I mean, he wrecks a few parties, but I’m thinking specifically of the one in episode 26 prior to Qiongqi Path, take one. Everything about that whole scene is gold top to bottom, but what really gets me going is everything from the dramatic entrance (I’m tempted to make a list of Wei Wuxian’s best dramatic entrances) onward to “sexy menacing countdown.” It’s just all so...I mean, I’ve talked about how much I love furiously angry and on the verge of losing it Wei Wuxian, and this is some prime that material. 

(Pictured: the sexiest way anyone has ever said the word ‘two.’)

And just! The tension of it all, how it builds and builds and builds and even when it finally releases when Zixun caves there’s still all this lingering “oh fuck! that’s bad!” dread...it’s just very good. 

And I also love it as one of those key plot turning moments where it’s like. This isn’t the irrevocable break, but it’s a big one as far as ‘no going back from this.’

And like. Not just Wei Wuxian, everyone else in this scene is excellent too. Just. Mm. Good.

10. Wei Wuxian is sexy when he’s mean and that’s just the truth. Which is to say: the very bad breakup scene between him and Lan Wangji in episode 20. I’ve read two different analyses of this scene, both brilliant (by @hunxi-guilai here, and @neuxue here), and I feel like I can’t add much to that other than to reiterate that Wei Wuxian is very sexy when he’s mean, and the layers of everything going on in this scene are. Ugh!!! So good.

(I mean, also everything that comes before, I have put myself down firmly in camp “Wei Wuxian is also sexy when he murders people, you go Wei Ying, murder people as much as you want, it’s hot.” And the hug with Jiang Cheng! (THAT HUG. IT IS SUCH A HUG.))

But the confrontation between him and Lan Wangji in particular! it is so fuckin good. Honestly just read the linked analyses, I’ve got nothing I can say better that’s not in there, just a lot of “ahhhhhhh” about it all.

BONUS MENTIONS TO: basically every time Wei Wuxian Yiling Laozus, “stay and die with me.” 

[btsslowburnfic]

Chthonic Love Ch. 8

Series Summary:  A Greek Mythology AU featuring Yoongi/Suga as Hades and reader as Persephone. Olympian ruler Namjoon has delivered you, Persephone, as a gift for his brother, lord of Death, Yoongi

Previous Chapter found here: Chapter 7

You woke up to another “morning” in the Underworld. You stretched and thought about what you were going to do today. You had no way of knowing if you had missed the first reaping or not and sighed. It really was annoying. Of course, after reading another chapter in the Compendium last night it became clear to you why there was no time in the Underworld: Cronos was locked in Tartarus. His mere presence caused a rift in the passage of time. It was a small price to pay to keep the Titans locked up. 

You find your heart skipping a beat as you look forward to spending time with Yoongi today. You assume you will, anyways. Maybe you can get a proper tour of the castle. Lethe had sat an outfit and hair comb out for you; she is really taking her attendant job seriously, you mused. You got dressed and admired yourself in the mirror. Same old spring goddess, different day. You wondered what your brother was up to and if he got your letter yet. You can’t believe after all the times you’ve told him not to hang out with Namjoon that he would still do it.  Well at least he didn’t get turned into a monster like most beings who lost bets; he just got his sister kidnapped. Idiot. Oh well, at least you were enjoying your time in the Underworld.. You sat down and started to play around with your hair. You thought a lot last night about if you would return to the Mortal realm if you were able to, or if you would stay here for a while longer. You really enjoyed spending time with Yoongi and Lethe. You put the comb in your hair and exited the Quicksilver room.

Your bare feet absorbed the coldness of the obsidian floor. You hadn’t really noticed being barefoot in the mortal realm; your feet were always cushioned by grass, dirt, and sand. Here, the hard floors kept you quite chilled. You found yourself wondering if Arachne made shoes. Did other people here wear shoes? You knew Yoongi did but you hadn’t looked at anyone else’s feet. You made a mental note of “things to ask Lethe about the Underworld,” and continued your search for Yoongi.

It didn’t take you long to find him. You poked your head into the great hall and saw him directing some servants. You walked into the room and took a seat on a bench, not wanting to interrupt.

You turned and faced the wall, deciding to add some dark red roses to the empty vessels along the perimeter of the hall while you waited. There. That looks much more like a great hall. You think as you admire your work. 

"It's lovely," you heard Yoongi's voice behind you. 

"Thank you." you twisted back to face the hall. "Much more festive." 

A smile creeps across his lips, "Ah yes the underworld is lacking in festivities," he agrees, 

placing his hands on his hips. "Did you sleep well?" 

"I did. How long did I sleep? How many reapings did I miss so far?" 

He pretends to look at a watch "You are very consistent, just the morning one again. It's late morning in the underworld."

"According to you." you teased him. 

"Yes. I do get to make the rules around here. It’s a perk of being Lord.” 

You stood up, “If you’re not busy today I’d love for you to give me a tour of the inside of the Palace.” 

“Of course, just let me…” he began but was cut short by the loud banging of the doors opening. Penthos came running into the open area, he made eye contact with Yoongi and sped up his pace even more. Yoongi’s entire demeanor changed suddenly, the smile gone from his face. The entire scene placed you on edge. Penthos skidded to a stop and spoke to Yoongi in a hushed tone, while looking at you. Yoongi turned towards you suddenly and grabbed you by your elbow leading you out of the hall. His lips were pressed together tightly. 

“Yoongi? What’s going on?” you asked nervously. He didn’t respond, he only dragged you faster back down the passage to your room. “Yoongi, you’re hurting my arm and you’re scaring me.” 

You heard him breathing heavily, he stopped for a second and looked at you before pushing you up against the stone wall. He loosened his grip on your arm slightly “I’m sorry. If you trust me at all you need to go in your room and stay there. Ok? Just…” he shook his head, and you saw for the first time actual fear in his eyes, which caused the blood in your veins to suddenly go cold. He scanned your face, “Just please go to your room.” He pressed his other hand on the wall next to you.

You looked at him and you could tell he was a combination of scared and angry but you had no idea why. Had you done something wrong? You felt like you wanted to cry. In fact you were actually crying already you realized as you felt the hot tears on your face. You looked down the hallway towards your room.

“Persephone, no. No.” you felt his hand brush a tear away. “Just trust me. Stay in your room and I’ll come get you soon. It’s going to be ok.” 

You were still confused but managed to squeak out an “ok,” as you walked back to the Quicksilver room. As you closed the door, you heard various locking mechanisms behind you. What the hell? So NOW you were a prisoner. You were suddenly angry and sad. What the fuck had Penthos told Yoongi that made him suddenly change like that? You walked over to the door and even though you knew they were locked, the fact that you confirmed it made you even angrier. He suddenly didn’t trust you to stay in your room but you were supposed to trust him. You huffed. You walked over to the windows and to your annoyance they had also been locked. You began to seethe. What the fuck was going on? 

---------------

“Lord Namjoon is here,” Penthos had whispered to Yoongi. His eyes quickly scanned over [y/n] as both of the men could guess what the Lord of Olympus was here for. Yoongi felt more scared than he had been since the Titan Wars. Fuck. He turned around and grabbed you. He had to keep you safe from his brother. Who knew what Namjoon was up to. He reneged on contracts all the time, he did whatever the fuck he wanted, whenever he wanted, with whomever he wanted. Shit. Shit. Shit. He wasn’t even thinking until he heard your voice shakily say, “Yoongi, you’re hurting my arm and you’re scaring me.”

He looked down and realized that his fingers were digging into you. And now he’d actually hurt you. Great. He took out a deep breath and stopped. He didn’t want to scare you and he certainly didn’t want you trying to confront his brother.  He had already scared you, he could tell by your face. He found himself still holding on to your arm, not wanting to let you go. “I’m sorry. If you trust me at all you need to go in your room and stay there. Ok? Just…” he shook his head wishing he knew what to say to make this better. He wished everyone would just leave the two of you alone. When did it become the two of you? He found himself wondering for a few seconds. He used to just wish everyone would leave him alone. He shook his head, coming back to reality. “Just please, go to your room,” he said as he brought his other arm up. He wanted to run a hand through your hair and tell you everything would be ok and that in a few days you could go see your brother if you wanted or you could stay here for a while if you needed a break from the mortal realm. Just whatever would make you happy. Instead, he placed his hand against the wall.  He looked down and saw that you were crying. He wanted to hold you and tell you it would be ok but he didn’t have time for any of that; Namjoon could walk into the Palace at any minute.  

““Persephone, no. No.”  he ran a hand along your face, brushing a tear away. “Just trust me. Stay in your room and I’ll come get you soon. It’s going to be ok.” 

He watched you  cross your hands over your chest and say “Ok,” 

The sight of you leaving while crying caused a deep ache in Yoongi’s chest. As soon as he heard the door shut, he enchanted it and the windows to keep anyone other than himself from entering the Quicksilver room. He sighed deeply. Time to act like a scary asshole, he thought as he straightened his shirt and headed to the throne room.

---------

“You’re in my chair,” Yoongi said with annoyance as he entered the throne room to find Namjoon lounging in it.

“In such a fine mood brother, what’s wrong? Has your gift been bothering you? The old ball and chain got you all out of sorts?” Namjoon sarcastically replied, making no effort to move from the throne.

Yoongi felt deep rage swelling within him, but he knew his brother was fishing for reactions. And he was going to try his damn hardest to not give in.

“I suppose I’m annoyed that you are here again. I just saw you a few days ago. Let’s go back to our old schedule of every few centuries.” he replied, cooly.

“I’d love to really. Believe me, no one, and I mean no one, wants to be down here with you.” Namjoon made a point of looking at Yoongi while he said this. “But you and I have some business items to discuss. Now I gifted you a certain Goddess a few days ago and yet here I find that she’s being allowed to send messages to her brother. Messages which speak ill of me.”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders. “She’s not a prisoner here. She’s welcome to write letters to whomever she wants. Would you like to be added to her penpal list?  Is that why you’re here?”

 Namjoon’s face began to redden. “Show some respect.”  Lightning flashed outside the window.

“You’re in my realm. In my throne room. Questioning my decisions. You show me some respect,” Yoongi spat back. He usually remained quiet when Namjoon came and threw these temper tantrums, but today he was not in the mood. At first it wasn’t quite evident what Yoongi had done, but as Namjoon stood up from the throne and walked towards Yoongi to continue his argument, he suddenly found himself lacking oxygen. His face turned slightly purple. He looked at Yoongi with rage, trying his best not to give in, but he eventually found himself on his knees.

Yoongi crouched down, “Stop coming around here and asking questions about Persephone. Do you understand?” 

Namjoon nodded, scratching at his throat. Yoongi stood up and halted his power usage, and his brother took several heaving breaths trying to make up for lost air. “You little shit.”

Yoongi turned around, holding his hand up. “That didn’t sound very respectful.”

 Namjoon shook his head. “Yeah ok. You win this round Yoongi. Remember when we were kids…” 

Yoongi had sat down on the throne. “I have no interest in traveling down memory lane with you today. If you have any other business with me you may state it presently, otherwise, Penthos will see you out.” 

Namjoon fumed for a few seconds and screwed up his face tightly. It had been centuries since Yoongi even pushed back slightly. What the hell had changed that made him actually assert authority today? Ah. It occurred to him as he was walking out of the throne room. He could sense your power signature radiating throughout the castle.  Namjoon looked down the hallway, where several black thorn covered vines were stretching along the walls. What he fuck had he done? 

-------

“Sir, he’s left the realm.” Penthos said as he returned to the throne room from escorting Lord Namjoon.

Yoongi nodded, his elbows resting on his knees and his face cradled in his hands. “That’s all for now. Shut the door on your way out, please.” Penthos nodded and complied. It was only then that Yoongi allowed himself to start shaking. It had felt good to stand up to Namjoon but he felt completely drained. His brother just scared him so much and he wished he didn’t. 

Don’t cry. Don’t cry. He willed himself. You’re strong. You’re a fucking Olympian. He sniffled and ran his hands through his hair. He heard the door open again. “I said to leave me alone,” he shouted as he looked up. 

“I know sir but there’s a slight situation.” Penthos responded. “With Lady Persephone.” he added.

Yoongi stood up quickly. Shit. He should have gone and got her as soon as Namjoon left. Was she ok? He turned the corner and saw what the problem was: black thorn vines were slowly snaking their way down the hallway.  “What do you want me to do my Lord?” Penthos asked.

“Nothing. Just, give me a minute.” Yoongi responded, walking towards your room. 

 “Sir, these vines could be poisonous. I really think you should just let us cut them off the wall.” 

Yoongi was so over today. He just wanted to lay down. All he had wanted to do was give you your new cloak and go to the beach with you today. That’s it. He didn’t want to fuck around with Namjoon or make you cry. “We’re not cutting the vines. It could hurt Persephone. We don’t know how her magic works.” Yoongi replied, trying his best to stay calm. He started to find it difficult to walk through the hallway without getting pricked by the thorns. “Aish...probably not poisonous but they definitely hurt.”

“Sir. Please. I can’t just watch you get hurt by her. Let me cut the vines. 

“Penthos. Leave.” Yoongi growled.

“Sir?”

“Leave now,” Yoongi commanded as he went through a large portion of thorns, cutting his arm and face. Penthos huffed and angrily complied. 

Yoongi was almost to the door at this point, having had most of his body parts shredded. He undid the sigils and tried his best to knock on the door. 

“Persephone,” he yelled as gently as possible, even though he was in an enormous amount of pain now.  “Can I come in? Your vines have gotten a little out of control.”

You walked over to the door, still angry about having been locked in here. You had covered your windows in black roses to match your crying aesthetic but you didn’t know what he was talking about. You opened the door and were shocked by everything. First, there was Yoongi, covered in blood with his clothes shredded to pieces, acting like everything was normal. Second, apparently something had amplified your magic, and your dramatic art project was taking over the castle.

You threw your hands up to your mouth, “No. Oh no. No. I’m so sorry. Yoongi.” The vines and your anger both immediately started to wither away.

“That’s some strong magic.” he said, trying to joke even as he was bleeding everywhere and leaning on the doorframe for support.

“Oh shit. Come here,” you put your arm around him and sat him on the foot of your bed. You began to work on healing him.  “Your door spell must have amplified my magic. I was just trying to decorate the windows to match my mood.”

He laughed lightly. “Well hopefully your healing magic will be amplified as well. Those thorn bushes hurt."

“Stop laughing, I feel terrible about this. You should have just chopped your way through them.” you moved into a more comfortable position to continue healing him. Crying and making flowers had already used a lot of your energy and you started to feel so tired. You felt him rest his head against your shoulder. 

 “Sorry. I didn’t want to hurt you in case the vines were connected to your lifeforce.”

You didn’t know what to say to that. You had been so angry with him until just a few minutes ago and here he was, bleeding because of you. You two were both quiet for a few minutes while you focused your energy on healing him. “I’m so tired.” you accidentally said out loud.

“Me too.” he responded. “I think you’ve got most of them.” He moved his head off of you to assess his body. “You’re going to have to take a rain check for the castle tour.” He threw off his shoes and laid down on the bed and then scooted up to the headboard.

“I agree.” You responded raggedly and let yourself relax on the bed as well. You turned to look at Yoongi who was staring up at the ceiling. “Other than being tired, how are you feeling?”

 He turned his head to look at you. He was so handsome. You felt like you could spend forever looking at that face. He looks exhausted but flashes a small grin, "Never better.”

“Why did you lock me in my room?” 

He looked back up at the ceiling as though he can avoid the question if he doesn’t look at you. You thought maybe he wasn't going to answer until you hear him say very quietly, “Namjoon was here.”

Your heart immediately begins to race again. “I didn’t want him to mess with you or try anything because of how he is. I’m sorry I didn’t have more time to explain.” he looked back over at you.

“What did he want?” you asked nervously.

Yooongi sighed. “He was just being nosy about you and your letter to Hoseok.” He saw how frightened you  looked and reached over for your hand, gently and tentatively wondering if he could hold it. You immediately interlocked your fingers, causing a tingling sensation in your body even though you were still nervous. “Don’t worry. I told him to fuck off and stop asking questions about you.”

You laughed loudly. “Did you really? Oh gods I would have paid to see that.” 

He laughed as well, his earlier anxiety about it gone. “Yeah, I really did.”

“Good for you. He’s such a prick.”

“He is.” Yoongi agreed. 

The two of you laid there in silence and before you knew it, you had both drifted off to sleep. Fully clothed, exhausted, and holding hands. NEXT CHAPTER