#we’re pushing through the sorrow and spending the energy on creating something new instead of crying !!

[alora-mae]

my lovelies, my snake ring just broke lmao 😭

making little things from polymer clay is my new hyperfixation and I love it :’) so far I’ve made a pomegranate plate, a little snake ring, a miniature pomegranate, and tarot card stands !!

[nellpire]

[161020] Nell - Cosmopolitan interview (translation)

Q: You've set up your independent label Space Bohemian now, seventeen years after your debut. Jongwan: I think it made us a lot more comfortable. We used a rental studio before, but now we have our own nest. Nobody minds if we spend the night in the studio or don't come out for several weeks. So we're more psychologically relaxed in regards to making music. Our most recent album is the first one to be made in our studio.  Jaekyung: When we were younger we made music in ridiculous locations for ridiculous prices, and to think we've grown to the point of having our own studio... We're really proud to have come to this point. 

Q: If someone says 'Nell', then words like melancholy, dream-like, desolate and darkness come to mind. What do you wish your music would make people feel? Jongwan: I think one of the charms of music is that everyone interprets it differently. It's not a documentary. So I don't have a particular wish like that. I just wish they would listen to it as it is. Jaekyung: Jongwan has lived abroad before, so sometimes he writes lyrics in English too. But he doesn't tell us the exact meaning. He could interpret for us but the emotions could become distorted, so. So I still don't know what the English lyrics mean. I just feel the music. Haha.

Q: You can't talk about Nell's music and exclude the lyrics. Where do you get inspiration for your 'crazy lyrics'? Jongwan: Generally they come from my life. I make memos of my everyday thoughts. If you have one clear source of inspiration then you can use that only, but honestly that's not how it works. So it's about things I've been through, things I've felt in relationships with other people, everyday things like that. I wrote the song 'One of those Days' from the new album when I went on a trip with my friends and felt really happy, the situation was perfect but all of a sudden I started feeling empty. I write most of them in that manner.

Q: That's a really sad song. The melody is cheerful, but the lyrics... should I call them a sad, habitual irony? Jongwan: I personally also think that song is really sad. Though of course that's what I intended. Should I say I wanted to express extreme sadness in the midst of joy? Jaekyung: The way I see One of Those Days is that the sound is the past and the lyrics are the present. I sensed happy memories in a sorrowful present, so it made me tear up.

Q: It can't be easy to make music out of heavy emotions like that. And it's been seventeen years. Jongwan: It's true that I'm very sensitive when I'm working, but there's a kind of catharsis when I complete the things I want to express. When we're pouring those negative and sad emotions into the songs it is hard, but we know the euphoria that awaits once we've spit it all out. I think we can endure it because we know that taste, no matter how hard it is. Junghoon: When we start writing a song or lyrics we get engulfed in those feelings, but towards the end of the process we work more with our heads than our hearts. The euphoria that comes when the song is complete and we achieve the emotions we wanted, I think that euphoria is very addicting.

Q: Now let's speak bluntly about love. Who talks the most about the opposite gender? Jaewon: We're not the type to talk that much about women. Haha. Jongwan: As we get older, we talk less about girls and tell Jaekyung more often to date someone. We've all had times when we've dated and times when we haven't, but Jaekyung have gone the longest without dating anybody, so... Haha. It's a fact that your music gets better when you're in love. Your emotions get deeper, the things you receive and your perspective can change too. That's why dating is good.

Q: Who helps the other members with their lovelife the most? Jaekyung: Jongwan is the most straight-forward with his advice.

Q: Is that because Jongwan has the most experience with dating? Jongwan: I'm not the type to date often. But I think I'm the type to date the same person for a very long time. And I haven't dated lots of people. But don't you have to meet about three thousand people before you can say you dated a lot? Haha.

Q: Do you have an ideal type? Jongwan: A person who can help me live well. Someone who gives me lots of energy when we're together, someone who makes my heart flutter. Someone I want to keep getting to know better... and I think when I meet someone like that, we start dating naturally instead of saying 'let's date'. As I get filled with that feeling of "ah, I like them so much".

Q: Are you waiting for your soulmate? Jongwan: I've never even thought about one sided love. You know, there's that good feeling you both get when you meet. I think that's the most important thing in love. I'm waiting for a person who stirs my desire, passion and curiosity.

Q: What type of men are you when you date? Jongwan: Now that I think about it, I think we're similar to the way we make music. Junghoon is the man-in-the-middle who compromises a lot even when he's dating, the mediator. Though I think he's the style to hold a lot of things in. Junghoon: Jongwan is very honest. Although he's the type who never hides anything in his everyday life anyway. If it's good, he says so, and if it's bad, he says so. Even if he doesn't need to. Haha. Jaekyung: I get too frustrated in situations where I lose someone I truly like. So if I date I'd like to it to be with a girl who's like a close friend-- actually no, maybe being just friends is better. Haha.

Q: Do you start dating assuming you'll break up? Jaekyung: I do have that side. So the members worry and give me lots of advice. Haha.

Q: Your emotions surge when you're in love. Which one of those emotions do you enjoy the most? Jongwan: The desire and passion I mentioned before. Greed that ends up hurting others isn't good, but I think our individual desires help us live more energetically. Jaekyung: The sensitivity. When you're young your heart flutters even over small things, but as you get older those emotions ebb out. I'm scared of being unable to get inspired. Junghoon: I think all those emotions are important.

Q: What do we need in order to stay with our partner for a long time? Jaekyung: Familiarity and excitement needs to co-exist. If the inspiration dies though it was exciting at first, then you'll end up breaking up. I sometimes get excited when we make music and think "what? That member has this kind of side to him, too?". I think we need to do that for one another in order to make it last.

Q: Earlier when you performed, you said that 'loneliness is one of the emotions that humans can't escape from'. What does Nell define as loneliness? Jongwan: I think it's one of our instincts. So aren't we just social animals? If we didn't feel loneliness then I don't think there'd be a need to create a society, and we wouldn't feel anxious even if we couldn't connect to anybody. Lots of people link loneliness to dating, but to be honest I think there's no connection between them. You know, you can feel lonely even when you're madly in love. The fact that nobody on this earth can understand me to 100% is very sad, in a sense. The thought 'You know 99% of me, why can't you understand the last 1%?' itself causes loneliness.

Q: When you released your fourth album 'The Day Before' (t/n: ???) you said "agony causes suffering, emptiness causes sadness". I'd like to hear what Nell has to say about sadness. Jongwan: I used to think that suffering and sadness was the same thing. But now I think suffering is something you can come out of, whereas sadness will always remain once it has formed, even if you can forget about it momentarily. If suffering is the flu, then sadness is an incurable disease. Therefore you can say that difficult times will pass, but you can't say the same for sad times.

Q: So Nell's songs are sad songs, then. Since the music lingers in your heart. Jongwan: Right. When writing lyrics especially, there are many times like that. If you live without (deep) thoughts, all of a sudden something you used to feel but had forgotten can come creeping back. In those times I write a lot (of music). So when you say 'Nell', the word 'memories' comes to mind. Jongwan(?): Isn't all our memories like that? All of a sudden they can come back again to torture you.

Q: What do you think of 'some' relationships? Jaewon: It's great. 'Some' is the epitome of excitement. Junghoon: That word, 'some', has been around for a long time. That time before you officially go out, when you're testing to see each other's feelings and you're pushing and pulling... It's a very natural phenomenon. Jongwan: I've never had a 'some', so I don't know.

Q: Are you not the style to push and pull at all? Jongwan: Nope. Jaewon: You must do it a little bit. Jongwan: I don't want to consume emotions like that! It's a waste of emotions! Jaekyung: He lives a life of no waste. Jaewon: Economy. All: Hahahahaha.

Q: Lastly, how does Nell define love? Jongwan: A necessary condition? Whether it's for a dream or for a person, it's something you must have in order to be happy. Like an energy you need in order to go on living. Jaekyung: Jaewon is always yelling 'love and peace'. I think that's the ultimate expression. It's a classic but unchanging truth. I can't express it properly, but I think that's the most important thing. Junghoon: Someone said this. "This and that and that, that's what love is." All: True! It's true! Hahahahaha.

Nell's dating counselling

Q: It's been two years since I last dated anyone. I don't know if it's because I'm comfortable with being alone, but I can't easily love anybody. My friends say I've put up impenetrable barriers around me. But should I say I feel a sense of habitual irony, that I want to date someone even though I like being alone? What is the problem I need to overcome? Nell: If you're okay with being by yourself, then I think you can just let it be. Because, you know, if we look for a different way to live then our current situation becomes uncomfortable. Won't you be okay just continuing on as you have? Since people say you've put up barriers, maybe you're not ready to date a guy yet. And it could be that you just haven't met anyone you liked yet. It sounds like you need a man who can break down those walls to appear.

Q: I've liked the same person for a very long time. But that person is seeing someone else. I know it's wrong, but I thought that I'd have a chance with them someday. But now all of a sudden seven years have passed. And now that person seems to have decided to get married. I want to beg them not to get married just yet, but I can't even do that. I should work this out by myself, shouldn't I? Nell: I think it would be okay for you to express your feelings as long as their partner doesn't hear. If that person was already married, then you couldn't tell them. But since they're not married yet, I believe it's not wrong to tell them how you feel. If you're going to regret it whether you do it or not, then doing it is better. I think getting it all out would be better than staying bitter for the rest of your life.

Feel free to use, but please credit Nellpire.