#we would hold hands and be happy forever that isnt fair at all

[thomyorkenumberonefan]

[nessaiscute]

Another fall fey drabbe

you should say your final goodbye. 

those words made me feel hallow, i stood there next to the bed of my wife, my queen. as she was dying... she was going to pass and there was nothing I could do to stop it. No quest, no going to the end of the world. I... I never thought this would happen, I thought that her becoming the iron queen would make her immortal. That nothing could touch her, but then she got sick. and now.... I have to say goodbye.

Her eyes slightly opened and depiste how painful it was for her she slightly cracked a smile, “Youre still as handsome as you always are.”

I chuckled even though my heart was tearing apart, this was a cruel joke. It had to be, shes immortal! How did she get sick?? it dosen’t make any sense! I.. feel so empty right now.

“Don’t make that face....” Meghan barely coughed out, “These things just happen....”

“I don’t want them to ‘just happen’. I want you to get better.....”

Meghan had a sad look in her eyes, “I’m sorry Ash, but....all things die Its the natrual order of things.”

She reached for my hand and I softly clutched it, holding it firmly. she smiled again, even as an aging woman shes still the most perfect beautfuil being ever. I still find myself gasping for air at the very glimsp of her smile. Her blue eyes although not as bright still shone as she looked at me. I don’t deserve you Meghan, you could of had any man you wanted (or woman for that matter) yet you chose me. I... pleaes dont leave me....

“Meghan....” I mummered so low I didn’t even realize i was speaking, “How am I suppose to live without you. How is this kindgom suppose to live without you? we... I need you.”

“Ash.... if there was a way to stay with you I would but....there is no cure for this. I... feel myself slipping. I... can’t hold on anymore..... Ash, you must live. You must protect our people. For me....”

If this is a sick joke its not funny, was I foolish to think this could last forever? Did I forget the curel tricks of the fey? I kissed her hand, “I promise I’ll protect our kindgom but....don’t ask me to fall in love with another person.”

“Ash...”

“Don’t..... Please.... I can’t... I can’t love anyone but you. I can be an iron king but i can’t be anything other then your man. You have my whole heart. no one can even come close.”

“Ash...” Meghan grunted, “To be alone for so long....”

“This isnt the end Meghan. When the kingdom is settled im going to find you, I will chase your soul to the very towers of heaven or the bowls of hell.[I love you.... Please wait for me.”

Meghan finallly had a grin, “I expet no less from my husband. Very well, I’ll be waiting. I.... love you.”

And with that Meghan closed her eyes and passed on. The iron queen was no more. and...for the first time in my life.... I cried. I rested my head on your chest and cried. That heart of gold finally stopped beating....

and I was all alone....

My eyes opened wide and I found myself in mine and Meghan’s bedroom, what the heck?

I scanned around the room, no sign of Meghan or anyone for that matter. Please say that was a dream please say-

The bedroom door opened and in came my queen, “Good morning sleepy head. Are you okay?”

Meghan!!

I got out of bed cupped her face in my hands and kissed her softly. she was tooken back for a split second but kissed back. I tasted the cotton candy lipstick, feeling my soul rise for the first time today. I felt the suspirse come from Meghan.

I pulled back and I saw the susprise look in her eyes, “What was that for?”

“That.... was me realzing it was a nightmare. It was.... Im so happy you’re here.”

“Well given how many times I scare you I think its fair you deserve a scare or two. Do you need me to call off? Are you gonna be alright?”

I chuckled, “I’m fine. go ahead and do your duties. But...can we go on a date later?”

Her eyes gleamed, “Of course.”

[the-fiction-witch]

Apologize P7

REAL LIFE: COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SWEET

I smiled as we walked along the windy seafront, the little shops sitting along the way, the yellow sandy beach and dark green waves, the wind strong and the noise from shops and the arcades Dan and mark walked infront of us hand in hand with there ice creams

"y/n? You alright?" thomas asks taking my hand

"I'm okay" I nodded

"You sure, you're making that face again"

"What face?"

"The, I'm thinking and getting trapped in my head and I'm going to make myself feel awful"

"I'm alright thomas" I told him

" Liar," He says "Hey, Tell me what's wrong y/n"

"I don't know thomas... I keep feeling strange about everything"

"y/n? is it something I did?" he asked

"No, nothing you did" I lied

"y/n, I know you're lieing to me," He says holding my face "hey, how about we go get some ice cream and talk about it?" he asks and I nodded "Thats my girl, Guys we'll catch up with you later," he told Mark and Dan and they nodded heading off down the path he held my hand tightly and we went and got ice cream sitting on the little bench looking out at the sea "so? come on what's the matter?" He asks having his ice cream I held my own looking at the perfect swirl of white and pink

"I don't know thomas I just keep thinking about everything with us?"

"about us? why what's wrong?" he asks

"I just... I can't help thinking about everything, I can't help thinking this is all gonna be some big joke on me"

"why would you think its a joke?" He asked, "Don't you love me?"

"Of course I do thomas"

"Don't you trust me?"

"well I try" I admit

"y/n, I know you have a hard time trusting me, after everything I don't blame you, But I really do love you" He smiled giving me a kiss as we finished up our ice cream "hey come on, Let's have a walk," he says offering his hand so I took it and we walked down the seafront hand in hand even if I still felt a little strange

"I think relationships are strange," I told him

"why?" he asked

"Aren't all relationships when you get down to it going to end one of two ways"

"Which are?"

"our either gonna break up or your gonna get married there really isnt much else that can happen really"

"I guess your right," he says "Is that what's wrong?"

"How so?"

"I assume I'm kinda the first boyfreind you've ever had," he asks and I nodded "are you always this pessimistic" he laughed and I nodded "y/n, I get what you're saying and yeah your right"

"But if its inevitably why bother?" I asked

"Because the outcome doesn't matter, it's the time and love we have right now," he says kissing my head "and I really do love you y/n, and come on we're young who knows what's gonna happen, But if you wanted me too... I'm happy to stay with you forever"

"That's sweet thomas, Thank you" I smiled hugging him tightly "I love you too"

"Thats my girl," he smiled "Hey how about we go play some two pence machines?"

"Okay" I smiled, we went off to one of the arcades just off from the seafront, The neon curved colourful bulbs in the ceiling and a carpet that looked like it was designed for a bus in the nineteen seventies, the place full of young children and machines for different things, two pence pusher machines, claw machines, fruit machines, and various other little games we paid various games for a while winning some junk out various things as well as a mountain of tickets which we counted up and went over in the line for the little ticket booth as we did I saw a child run past with a big plushie sloth, Hu I wonder where that kid got it,

"so, anything you can see you want?" thomas asks

"not really, Besides you won most of them"

"Yeah But I brought you on holiday with me, come on I wanna treat you"

"I can't see anything but old toys and the stuff in the machines" I explained, "How many do we have?"

"Uhh six thousand," he says as he read the little receipt from the counting machine

"I didn't think we had that many?"

"I know, But I and Dan always came here with dad, I've been saving these up for forever" he explained as we got closer and we could look in the little windows, everything was in the thousands of tickets for anything good, there was a lot of very different things,

retro radios, Glass sculptures, fake games consoles, big bars of chocolate, handbags, toys and all sorts of other things soon enough we were next in line and we could see the bunch of small toys not too dissimilar to the ones inside the ones inside the two pence pusher machines and the back wall full of toys and plushes

"Hu... thats where that kid got the huge sloth," I said as I spotted it

"what was that honey?" he asks

"ohh I saw a kid with a sloth earlier, this must have been where it came from" I explained

"Honey? Did you want a sloth plushie?" he asks

"No it's okay," I told him

"Alright, you wanna go wait outside?" he asks

"Okay, see you in a second," I told him

"See you soon" He smiles giving me a kiss so I went outside and looked at the little toys and sweets we got out the machines till there as a tap on my shoulder I turned and was faced with one of the big plushie sloths "Boop" thomas smiled making the sloth give my nose a kiss

"thomas" I laughed, "I said you didn't have to"

"I know But I got a little car, and I got you a sloth" he smiled "Come on we should go find Dan and mark" He smiled giving me the sloth it was cosy and soft so I cuddled into his arm and we wandered around the beach for a while till we spotted Dan and mark laid on the beach making out "Guys! come on get up if you want dinner" he yelled to them "We will be at the fish and chip shop waiting for you guys" He sighed tugging me back up the beach

"Hey, thomas?" I giggled

"Yeah, y/n?"

"Boop" I smiled making my sloth give him a kiss

"Aww thats not fair" he complained pushing my sloth away and giving me a real kiss "Ummm I love you so much y/n, and I really hope soon I can make you trust me, and prove I really do love you"

[pastel-bullet-101]

Part 3

I began running towards the field after changing to meet up with the rest of the class but the only thing running through my head. Was absolute joy.

I did it...

I DID IT!

I actually did a mini victory punch into the air. I cant believe I've actually was able to do it. I mean I've done it before once or twice but I did it under pressure and everything. I was so happy I couldn't stop smiling. I cant wait to tell Tomura he'll know that all the time he put into me wasn't a waste. "Y/n!" I look up to see Tsu waving me over. "Hey! Sorry I had some trouble with my zipper." I gave a small laugh.

"Hey next time you have trouble why dont you come to me and I'll be more than happy to help!" I looked down and noticed this short guy winking at me. "Umm excuse me?" I have to say I was hoping that he meant well. I mean hes in the hero course maybe he was just trying to be nice and worded it...weirdly. Tsu then grabbed my arm and started guiding me towards a group away from the guy. "Be careful around him I can assure you that he doesnt have wholesome intentions ribbit." I wanted to ask some more questions but our conversation was cut short by Aizawa. He basically told us that we'd be doing a physical exam but we were allowed to use our quirks. I never took a physical exam cause I was homeschooled all my life but it seems pretty self explanatory. "What was your long throw distance from middle school?" I looked over to who he was talking and notice a guy with blonde spiky hair. Which also happened to be the one who yelled at the two boys when I first entered the classroom. "About sixty seven meters."

"Alright now try the throw the ball using your quirk." I saw the blonde go up to the circle. Stretching his arms and prepping himself for the throw. I then noticed the green haired male that was the victim of the yelling fit focusing on him intently. No doubt he's a analyzer. I walk over to him and stand by him and lightly tap on his shoulder. He jumps a bit and looks over at me. "S-sorry am I in your way?" I quickly nodded a 'no' and pointed over to the blonde. "You were looking at him really strong I was just curious." I gave him a smile and he instantly started to flush. "O-oh um its just-"

"DIE!"

Our conversation was cut into when the blonde suddenly screamed and a large explosion emitted from his hands and then Aizawa show us the distance he threw it. 705.2 meters!

"As you can see your quirks can drastically change results so no holding back. And to make sure you have motivation the person who falls last in this exam will be expelled."

"HAH!?" The class collectively exclaimed.

"Wait but we all just got here and even if it wasn't the first day that's not fair!" I saw it was Ochako but Aizawa was quick to respond. "And you think villian attacks are fair? The world is full of unjust and there is nothing you can do about it so I recommend if you want to go into the hero field you'll need to learn now." Almost Everyone had the horrified expression but when I looked over to the same green haired boy his face was pure and utter fear. It was almost laughable but I decided against letting that reaction out. I could tell his eyes hold a lot of information and if I could get in good with him I get that arsenal of information. "Hey it's ok! If it makes you feel better my quirk isnt very good for these kinds of test. Not to mention this is my first ever physical exam." He seemed to soften a bit at my words but he was obviously still worried. "Thanks." What I said was true my quirk wasn't very good when it came to most of the physical exam my best score was the one for grip but that was more from training then my actual quirk. Yet i noticed that the same green haired boy was struggling bad. He was average in everything and in a class where average is superhumans hes not doing well. Then we got to the ball throw everyone was doing well even me with and impressive 58 meters. Though compared to Ochako its sub par. Then it got to the boy. Yet he had this gleam in his eyes. "Midoriya better shape up or else hes going home." I turn around to see the blue haired man next to that blonde. "Hah? Probably cause hes a quirk less loser." Quirkless? I didnt even know they accepted people like that. He then prepared for his throw. And it was

Disappointing to say the least.

He looked at his hands and then I noticed Mr Aizawa activating his quirk. He then wrapped him into his scarf and began to talk to him in a low voice. I tried to listen but I couldn't hear anything. I looked over to the blonde again. His eyes are in a constant glare he honestly looks more like a villian than a hero. "Hey! You got a staring problem or something!?" I lightly jumped at his remark. "Bakugou please refrain from being rude to you fellow classmates!" So his name is Bakugou. I looked over and noticed that the boy was alone. He looked down at the ball and prepped for the throw. I hear Mr Aizawa let out a grunttled sigh. The boy began throwing his ball but then at the last second a large burst of energy came out and the ball went flying. "Mr. Aizawa... I'm still standing." He had such a bright smile and even Mr. Aizawa had a smile on his face. Then Bakugou then went into a blind rage after seeing the kids throw. He was restrained by Mr. Aizawa and I could feel the steam radiating off of him.

The exams went on and I looked and i saw that Midoriya was at the bottom. I tried to memorize as many names as I would but he took the scores down. "Also I lied about the last person getting expelled." I saw immediate shock go over Midoriya's face. A girl with black hair then began to say how obvious the lie was. I was quick to meet up with Midoriya. "Hey that was a really impressive throw." He looked back to me and started stuttering a bit. "O-oh thanks um I really dont have much control though." He then showed me his finger. That was wrapped and he told me he broke his finger. So his body isnt adjusted to his quirk. "Hey do you know that blonde kid? His name was Bakugou I think."

"Oh Kacchan? Yeah me and him are childhood friends believe it or not..." He didnt seem very convinced. I noticed he was holding a journal. "Hey what's that if you dont mind me asking." His eyes lit up and he quickly opened it. "Its my hero analysis notebook I've been writing In them since forever in order to become a better hero." Bingo.

"Wow really? That's so cool!" I gave him the brightest smile I could muster. "Do you mind If i read it sometime?" He immediately blushed and covered part of his face. "Um y-yeah anytime." I then began to head back home but before I did I introduced myself to him and he told me his full name. "It was nice to meet you Midoriya." He then started walking his way back home. Once I was walking for a good bit and was abousultly sure I was alone I raised up my jacket and discreetly snuck back into the league of villians hideout.

I slowly opened up the door and closed it behind me.

"IM BACK!"

[lifesucksheres20bucks]

Reddie going to on a date to the fair...only if you want💗

YES I LOVE THIS CONCEPT

*i took me so long to write this, there might be some errors sorry*

- def like last summer of them all being in derry

-their 18 and richie is moving to LA and eddie is going to NY

-richie knows his time with eds is running out and hes been a lot more clingy than usual

-eddie knows it too and hes been spendig a lot more alone time with his favorite trashmouth

-eddie HATES change so he has regular panic attack just thinking of being away from the losers (especially richie) 

when he gets the panic attacks he usually just throws himself onto richie and starts playing with his shirt

richie started seeing a pattern and lets him calm down, he tries rubbing his back or making him laugh

when eddie isnt with richie when he has one (which tends to only happen at night) he will sneak out of his house and go to richies (richie now leaves his window open for eddie bc of it )

the losers part ways in about 3 weeks 

so for the past week eddie has been sleeping at richies everynight, he waits for his mom to go to sleep and goes directly to richies house

they usually just lie in bed somewhat cuddling 

they both know theres this unspoken thing between them but no one acts on it

the second to last week of  August theres the annual Derry summer fair. The losers have been going there since forever and its like the best part of the summer for them

they usually all go together for a whole day and stay to watch the fireworks then head to mikes farm for a sleepover/bonfire 

one day richie cant take it anymore and calls bev, he just kinda blurs out that he loves eddie and bev starts laughing 

“yeah we all figured you guys love eachother”

“wait you guys? you think eddie loves me too?”

“well none of us spend every night cuddling, and holding hands and sitting on each others laps” 

“you guys noticed that huh”

“omg you’re such a idiot sometimes rich”

“idk what to do though, how am i going to live without eddie”

“you guys will see each other, dont worry, we promised each other annual trips and we all come back to derry for the summers right? You guys will see each other eventually”

“but i can barely stand being without him for a day. You remember last month when his mother didnt let him leave the house bc he coughed? I was freaking miserable that day and i made everyone else miserable too.”

“well rich, i dont know what to tell you, youre going to have to find a way to survive without him, you guys can still call each other when your in school. Its a temporary move, you guys can live together or whatever after college”

“i need to tell him how i feel, i cant just leave without telling him”

“I think thats a good idea, let me know how it goes”

the next day the losers go to the fair, end up causing too much trouble (like always) and then went back to mikes farm. they all got drunk and very emotional, lots of crying bc they were all moving. some promises were made about calling each other at least once a week and plans were made about visiting each other during the thanksgiving holiday and taking a spring break trip together. (their all going to NYC for thanksgiving to see the christmas tree and probably going to LA for spring break)

during the sleepover richie and eddie and sleeping next to each other, richie reaches out to see if eddie is awake and as soon as richies hand is on eddie back, eddie turns around and puts his head on richies chest. 

“eddie do you want to go back to the fair with me tomorrow?”

“yeah we can go back , i think mike would like that bc he was totally smitten with that gir-

“no i mean just you and me”

“just you and me....uhh um okay that sounds like fun”

THE NEXT DAY

after eating breakfast at the farm they make up some weird excuse to why they couldnt hang out with the other losers and both leave (richie somehow said he needed to buy a cat)

-once they get to the fair theres this kinda awkward silence between them. Richie tries to make stupid jokes but all hes getting from eddie is nervous laughter

“hey eds whats wrong” richie says as he grads eddies hand

“i just, idk what are we doing?”

“well were at the fair, its this big fun thing we do every year”

“i know what a fair is you idiot, i mean why did you only want to come with me”

“bc i wanted to spend the day with my little eds!” (richie def pinches his cheek)

“dont call me that! god im so not going to miss that nickname when college starts”

“stop lying to yourself  my little spaghetti, youre going to miss not hearing it everyday”

they end up walking around trying some of the games.

eddie spotted a Koala that he really wanted and richie set out a mission to win it

he ended up spending like 20 dollars on tickets bc he kept losing the game. but when he finally got it, the look on eddies face made it all worthwhile

eddie decided to name the koala trashmouth for his knight in shining armour that got him in the first place

richie melts

eddie also named him that bc richie TOTALLY loves to koala hug eddie (and thats also why he wanted the koala in the first place bc he thought of richie when he saw it)

eddie gets them both candied apples

richie drops his after two bites

so they end up sharing eddies

at the end of the day richie insists on going to the ferris wheel

so they go and they sit right next to each other, eddie head on richies shoulder and finger intertwined 

they stop at the top and richie thinks its now or never

“hey eds, i need to tell you something and i dont want you to say anything, just let me finish”

“hm okay”

“you know how a couple of years ago you told me you loved coming to the fair because being here with your friends made you so happy. And that you absolutely loved coming on the Ferris wheel because being so high up and seeing the beautiful view of the town at sunset made you feel at peace and so whole...”

“yeah i remember that”

“well thats how you make me feel”

richie is playing with the hem of his shirt and every second that eddie doesnt say anything he starts shaking more and more

eddie sits quietly, in shock, and finally starts to process what richie says. he is quickly distracted by a tapping noise coming form richie

he looks at richie and sadness overcomes him, hes never seen richie look so nervous and scared in his life. the only thing he wants to do is hold him tight and thats exactly what the does

the second eddie takes richie into his arms richie just starts sobbing. the relief of the secret and the reality or their situation was just too much for him to handle

“shh shh ‘chee its okay, please dont cry baby”

“ i just, i dont know how im going to survive without you, youre my bestest friend eds and i love you so much..”

“i love you too richie, so much, why do you think i always sneak into your bedroom? all the panic attacks? its all because i keep thinking of college without you”

“why did we wait so long? i should have told you when i was 14, fucking hell Tozier always says stupid shit but never the right shit”

“richie stop youre not stupid, I should have told you, i just didnt know how. I know we waited too long but im so happy it happened this way. I dont think it would have worked out if we had told eachother sooner, we were so young. Now that were moving out of this shit hole we get to be ourselves and we can make this work” 

“but youre going to be so far away...”

“ill come visit you and i you can come see me, ill call you every night, this is going to work, i know it is bc its us and i know were meant to be together” 

“promise you wont forget me when im in LA”

“how can I ‘chee, you’re literally all i think about”

“wow okay this is getting really cheesy so can i just add a bit more cheesiness and kiss you at the top of the Ferris wheel?”

“ ugh okay but only since were already here and i dont think i can wait a minute longer”

richie cups eddies face and kisses him passionately 

(ITS A SHITTY ENDING I KNOW I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO END IT IM SORRY IM REALLY NOT MADE FOR WRITING)

this is definitely a story they will share with their kids in the future ❤️ 

[shawnpetermuffins]

I Miss You

A/n: I hope this is good because I put this off for so long wanting to do it justice. And this is based very loosely off I Miss you.

Summary: you two broke up recently, and it's not sitting well with Shawn, even though he's the reason you broke up.

Requested by @it-isnt-in-myy-blood: Hi, I recently listened to the song 'I Miss you' (Clean Bandit, Julia Michaels). Maybe you could write a fic based on the song, angsty but with a fluff ending? Thank you... ❤️

***

Kinda_yourname

2,158 likes

Kinda_yourname Cabo sunsets >>>> anything else

•

It may have only been a week, but I'm missing it here! 😭

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I shut my phone off and toss it to the end of the bed. I should have been with her on that trip, but tour got in the way. I got in the way. It's crazy to think that if you asked me three weeks ago, I would have said that my girlfriend and I could overcome any obstacle thrown at us. But ask me again a week later, and I would tell you I was wrong. That being away from her for months at a time was too much for me and I broke it off because I thought it would be what was best for both of us in the end.

Now ask me if I still believe that.

I don't.

I haven't told anyone about us yet. I mean, everyone probably suspects because there haven't been Amy preshow FaceTime calls for good luck, and I'm not texting like a madman during dinner or when we're on our way to the venues. And I know she hasn't said anything to anyone either. How? Because for one, she hasn't blocked me on any social media - I know, I've checked at least ten times just within the last two hours. And two, she hasn't deleted the three pictures of us that she has on her Instagram. They're still there for everyone to see, me included.

Now my fingers are hovering over the keyboard and I'm staring at her name on my phone which is still My Love 😍, and I'll probably never change it. Because she is my love, and to strip her of that title because I'm an idiot just isn't fair.

Hey... I miss you

I type and backspace and type and backspace at least ten times. Because I want to text her. I want so badly to text her, but what if she doesn't want to hear from me? I wouldn't blame her if she didn't want to. I was the worst. Breaking up with her over the phone, no less because I was hurting being away from her. Never once did it occur to me that, yeah, she was hurting too. Or maybe she's with someone else. Maybe she's found somebody new. I want her happy, sure. But I selfishly still want to be the one that makes her happy.

Y/n I miss you.

I delete it one last time and open my photo gallery. I have an album saved for photos of us. Photos that I never got to post because she wanted to keep us as private as possible without being a secret. Which is why both of us only have 3 photos of each other on our Instagram. One for our six months, a year, and a year and a half. Two more months and we would have had a fourth picture.

I'm swiping through the photos landing on one I took of her when we were flying back to Canada after our first trip together. We're on a private jet because this was before we went public with our relationship. Andrew made sure that we weren't seen together in the airport or anything. She's sitting in the seat across the aisle from me, legs up to her chest, earphones in, head resting on her knees as she smiles brightly at me. There's another one of us curled up together on this tiny chair in a green room in the UK that Andrew sent me. She's literally curled into a ball on my lap, sleeping peacefully and my legs are spread in front of me, arms wrapped tightly around her body, head resting against the back of the seat.

The next one Brian took. We were at my place for a very impromptu new years party. It was just gonna be me and y/n, but she insisted we invite the guys over. And we did. It was one of the best nights of my life. We're watching the ball drop, with her in my lap, arm around my shoulder. I have one arm behind her back, the other on her thigh. I think Brian knew something was going to happen because at ten seconds to midnight he pulled his phone out and captured out first new years kiss. She's holding my face and I'm practically leaning her back against the couch. It looks like I'm seconds away from crawling on top of her, and it be honest, I probably was. She's just too perfect for me to resist.

Then there's one that Josiah took of us just a few months ago at the studio house. I had y/n on the kitchen counter, she was in these jean shorts that I loved her in and a button up that she'd stolen from my suitcase. Not that I was complaining. It looked far better on her than it did on me. I stood between her legs, my hands on her sides, slipping under the shirt a little bit, leaning her hips exposed. Not that either of u cared with her fingers threaded in my hair as casually as they were. My face is blocked by her figure, but there isn't a doubt in my mind that I was smiling entirely too wide standing between her legs.

The video that follows knocks the breath out of me. She giggling like crazy, but the camera isn't on her, it's on me. On my back, more specifically. She laughs even more when I wince at the feel of her fingers on my red, raw skin that is now home of her fingernail scratches.

"Baby? What happened to your back?" She asked, amused.

"Don't know," I said, turning to face her, my cheeks still holding a slight blush. "But I think the real question is, what happened to your neck, missy?" I pluck the phone from her hands and turn the camera to her where she's trying to cover her face. I manage, however, to take her hands in my free one and the camera focuses on the flourishing bruises that litter her beautiful neck, my favorite place to rest my head.

I close my eyes, the memory of that night filling my mind. Watching her come down from her high, my face still buried between her legs. The weight and cold touch of her hands as she pulled me up to her, into her, because she needed me closer. I can hear myself murmuring the words 'I love you' all over her skin, still remember the way her back arched when I hit the right spot again and again and her finger ran down my back over and over, once more and she probably would have drawn blood. And I may not be home, but I can smell her on the sheets, that constant aroma of warm vanilla penetrating my nostrils. God, do I miss her.

I'm only making it worse for myself by doing this, I know that. But I should feel bad. I lost the greatest thing in my life and I didn't need to. So I got back to our messages, but instead of going to type a new one, I scroll through, reading through our old texts. There's countless paragraphs of us professing our love for each other. Lots of random pictures sent, most from my side. There's conversations about getting a home together, and a dog. And her telling me how much she loves my family and me telling her how much they love her, how much they ask about her. It's all hitting me too hard right now.

And it doesn't help that im literally sobbing at 2 in the morning, in Paris. The city of love. The place she told me was her favorite trip to ever take with me. Where we stood atop the eiffle tower and I gave her a promise ring, a ring that said I would love her and keep her forever. A promise ring that was now probably in the ocean in Cabo because I tore us apart so easily.

I sit up suddenly, struggling to catch my breath. It takes a few minutes, but I'm able to pull myself out of this empty bed that would only be comfortable with y/n laying next to me. I'm scrambling through the room, picking up the pair of jeans I threw off my body earlier and slipping back into them. I find a torn work out shirt in the bottom of my back and push my head and arms through before throwing my youth hoodie over my already overheated upper body. My passport is sitting in my guitar case, and I grab both things without a second thought. My suitcase trailing behind me.

It's difficult booking a flight and carrying a suitcase and guitar all at once, but I get along just well enough and adjust myself in the lobby while I wait for a taxi. I don't text Andrew until I've made it to the airport and am in my seat on the plane, ready for take off.

Emergency... had to fly home. Promise to make it back in time for the Paris show.

And I turn my phone off before he can text or call me back. Because there isn't a damn thing that he could say that would keep me there in a city that's meant for lovers, when my lover is across the world instead of laying in my arms the way she should be.

I know I shouldn't be doing this. I know there is someone out there who is better for her. Someone who isn't constantly on the move. Someone who can come home to her every night and help her make dinner. Someone who can cuddle her until she falls asleep when she's having a particularly bad day. I know there's someone who can do those things.

But I also know that he won't love her the way I do. He won't know all the little things that I do. Like how she only uses a blue toothbrush. Always has. And he won't notice the tiny scar that she has on her right middle finger from when we tried to make dinner together one night and she cut herself. He probably won't know that she wakes up at 3:34 every single night, because she hasn't been able to sleep fully and soundly through the night since she was four years old. And he'll mess up the way she likes her tea, using tea bags instead of leaves. (She like the herbal taste that you get when you use the leaves. And she likes when you do two scoops of them, and two scoops of sugar, but just cane sugar, the rock sugar makes it too earthy. And of course, she drinks it on ice because she hates burning her tongue with hot drinks.)

I'm thinking way too much as I get off the plane, reluctantly turning my phone back on only to see texts from just about everyone I know. They're all asking where I am, but I ignore them, because what I'm about to do is far more important than anything they threaten me with. I have to make things right.

Standing in front of this door that I've stood in front of hundreds of times should make me feel at ease. Remembering all the times I had her pressed against the other side of the door because I just couldn't wait to have her all to myself. But if anything, it's making me more nervous. So nervous that my hands are shaking, palms sweating, my breathing is jagged and I know if I don't knock right now I might never get the chance again and I can't lose her for real this time. So without giving myself the chance to rethink, I knock on the door three times and I wait, handing in the pocket of my hoodie.

I wait a solid thirty seconds, which feel like an eternity, before the door finally opens and I see my beautiful girl. Her face is bare, hair only halfway straightened, and she's in those shorts I love and my old Led Zepplin t-shirt.

"Shawn," my name still sounds like heaven spilling from her lips. "What are you doing here?" She crosses and then uncrosses her arms, shifting her weight from one leg to the other before standing completely straight.

I didn't even realize I was crying until I sniffled and heard my voice crack with just three words, "I miss you."

"Shawn," she shook her head.

"I tried not to," I insisted, still standing like a fool on her door step. "I swear I did. But I couldn't stop. I looked through all our pictures and texts, and I couldn't stop myself from missing you. And I know I have no right to because I broke things off. But I was in Paris and I was miserable because Paris was your favorite place, and that was where I promised to love you forever, and I'm still keeping that promise. I was an idiot," I continue to ramble. "If there's a better word for that, then I'm that too, because I thought it would be easier if I broke things off. This tour was going to be so long and to go that long without each other, I was scared that it wouldn't be enough for you. But it's not what I wanted, y/n. It's not, and I just-"

"Shawn, stop."

I shut my mouth instantly, ready for her to tell me to leave. But what she does instead throws me completely off guard. She pulls me into the apartment and wraps her arms around my neck, burying her head deep in my chest.

"I miss you, too." She mumbles and I exhale slowly, only to inhale that scent that I love so much. The scent that is naturally her. She starts to pull away, and even though I don't want her to, I let her but she only leans back enough to take my face in her hands and before I even have time to blink, her soft lips are on mine and I'm whole again.

She's mine again and I'm never letting her go.

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @bbellbagel

This took me longer to write than it should have, but I kinda really like it. I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you Wednesday for more content! 💙

Like, reblog, and leave feedback!!

[themoonandotherslikeit]

The Daughter of a Righteous Man - Chapter 4

After her husband is drug to Hell, Ava Winchester and her brother in law Sam try their best to do right by Dean and raise her daughter, only to find that good intentions aren’t always enough. Loving someone isnt always enough.

Chapter Four, Tell Me How to Be in This World

Ava

"So I'm going home? Me? Not us?" I asked with my arms crossed. Sam was packing up my stuff, keeping quiet. Coward.

"Ava you know we have to keep her monitored. She's been very jaundice. This happens with premature babies. She needs to stay under the light for a few more days and then she should be good to go home." The nurse said gently.

I wanted to cry, but mostly I was pissed. My baby was only 3 days old. She shouldn't be left alone.

The nurse looked to Sam for help before excusing herself.

"You May as well unpack because I'm not leaving."

"Come on, Ave. let's go home and get a shower and a nap and then we can come back." He said gently.

"No way." I shook my head. "I'm her mom, she needs me."

"Of course she does." He said, stepping behind me. He squeezed my shoulders. "But you both need rest. We can come back in a few hours."

Sam was right. Of course he was. "Okay, fine, but I'm going by the NICU to say goodbye."

I followed the familiar hallways and stepped into the NICU. I rubbed hand sanitizer along my hands to make sure to keep sterile environment, and I walked to her crib. Eleanor Winchester. My little Nel. "Hey sweet girl." She glowed blue under the light, sleeping like an angel. She wore only her premie diaper, hat, and her mitts to stop her from scratching her face. She looked so cute. "I am going home, but I will be right back in time for dinner, I promise." I reached in and touched her tiny belly. She had already gained weight, which was great. She was my Christmas miracle.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Me?" Sam asked, shocked. He was sitting across from me on the bed. I was sitting crisscrossed and he was at the end of the bed.

"Yes you." I said. I got onto my knees and passed her to him.

He nervously took her into his hands. He could hold her easily in his two hands since she was so small. He cradled her against his chest. "Wow." He breathed. "She weighs nothing."

"Right? She's so tiny." I said dreamily.

"She looks like you."

"Just in the nose." I said. "Look at that hair, and her mouth. All Dean."

"Maybe." He said. He touched her cheek making her smile instinctively. "I may never love another woman." He said with a smile. "She's got my heart."

"Me too."

Sam walked up behind me, and I hadn't heard him enter. "You ready?"

"I guess." I said, moving my hand away.

"Bye sweet Nel." Sam said smiling at her.

We went back to the house. I hadn't been there since before everything happened. It seemed the same, but eerily different. I swallowed hard as I passed into the living room. I couldn't bare walking deeper into the house.

"It feels so good not to smell hospital air." Sam said cheerily. "Want me to cook something?"

"I guess." I said, picking up a photo off the side table. It was one that Dean had taken of me in private when we were on a case. I was sitting outside of the Impala, staring at the house, just waiting. It felt like we were always waiting or running.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shrugged casually.

I hadn't caught him snapping the photo, but I did see him staring.

"You're being weird." I complained.

It had only been a week since our first date.

"Hm. Maybe." He said flippantly. "Maybe this is just what happy looks like."

"You're not going to start watching me when I sleep, are you?"

"Shit, you don't like that? Guess I'll stop."

I rolled my eyes and walked to him. "Quit it, we are working."

"We are always working." He said pulling me against him. "If I can't look at you when we are working I may never see you again."

"Well do you want to stop working?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Maybe a little." He said leaning in to kiss me, but before he did he whispered. "But the world needs us, Ave. Not sure I can let go of that responsibility yet."

I sat the photo down and walked into the kitchen to find Sam making macaroni and cheese. "I can tell that this is you and Deans place." He laughed. "There's nothing healthy in sight."

"We didn't exactly have time to shop there near the end." I said leaning against the counter.

Being back at the house and away from Nel was giving me a dark cloud. It hung over me, threatening to swallow me whole.

"Right." Sam said as he added the cheese sauce. "Well, eat up." He handed me a bowl.

I wasn't hungry, but I took a bite.

Sam stood across the counter from me and ate his own bowl. I wasn't sure how he could seem so happy. "You seem good." I commented.

"I feel good, considering. Things were touch and go with you and El for awhile. I consider this a win, and we have to take whatever wins we can get."

I smiled a little. "You sound like him."

"He did raise me."

I looked Sam over. Samuel Winchester, with his kind eyes and soft touch. Dean would have been a wonderful father, because he already was one to Sam. "He raised a good man." I said, wiping a tear from my cheek.

"We did our best".

He reached his hand out to me and I took it, squeezing his fingers. We were finding strength in each other.

I pulled my hands away, because my emotions were washing over me too much. It was too much.

"Hey, you good?" He asked me with concern.

"No." I admitted, shaking my head. "How could I be?"

"He wouldn't want that."

"It doesn't really matter what he would've wanted." I said, bitterness in my voice. "Because he isn't here. We failed him, and I don't know if I'm angrier with him or with us."

Sam sucked in his breath, his green eyes getting foggy. "I'm angry too. I wish it were me."

"It shouldn't be either of you. Why does it always have to be one of you?" I didn't stop the tears this time.

How much can one person even cry? How many tears do I even have? At some point they have to stop, right? Or will I cry forever? Will I drown in my tears? Will that finally stop the pain?

————————

"She's looking good, Ava. I think you can take her home tomorrow." The nurse said, handing my daughter to me. "But now she's ready to eat."

"Mmm, hungry girl." I took her in my arms and lowered myself into the rocking chair. I unbuttoned the shirt Sam took from Deans closet. I let my breast out and guided Eleanor's mouth to my nipple. She latched immediately, her eyes fluttering shut.

I could watch her nurse all day. The way we flowed together was comforting to her and me. She was content, and full of quiet bliss.

I ran my fingers along her nose again. I couldn't get enough of the little pieces of her father I saw in her. I wished he could see it. I felt like I'd given up on him. "Do you think he would ever forgive me?" I whispered to her.

"He would." Sam said from behind me. "He already has."

"I didn't hear you come in." I said, pulling the blanket up over Nel. I left her head out, because I couldn't stand to not look at her after being away for a few hours. Sam would have to deal.

He walked in front of me. He sucked his breath in when he saw me feeding her, but he didn't say anything. "The moment he met you he forgave you for everything you did, and everything you ever could do."

I pet the peach fuzz on the top of her head. It was so soft. I close my eyes for a moment, seeing Deans smile behind my eyes. "I wish I was that evolved." I laughed humorlessly and opened my eyes. Sam was staring. "What?"

"It's just amazing. She came from you."

"She did. She's the best thing I've ever done."

"He loved her already."

"I know."

"Before you I never heard him say I love you." Sam said softly. "Not even to me. He loved you so much."

"He loved you too, Sam. More than he ever loved me. More than he could ever love me. The only person he may loved more than you or me is her."

Sam sucked in his breath and nodded. His face was twisted in pain. "You're probably right."

"I am right, and if you're going to stay with me that's something you should learn early. I'm always right." I said forcing a smile. Sam was in pain just like I was. We may always be in pain, but eventually it has to dull. The hope for that was all that was getting me through, well, hope and Eleanor.

A knock came to my hospital room door. "Come in."

John poked his head in. "Is this a good time?"

I smiled and sat up a bit, cradling Eleanor against my chest. "Of course. I was starting to think you left."

He shuffled in awkwardly. He scratched his beard. "No, I uh... I just wanted to give you some space."

"I don't need space." I said trying to smile. "Want to meet your granddaughter?"

He nodded and slowly approached me. I moved Eleanor's blanket a bit so he could see her. The moment his eyes landed on her, the air left him. He held his chest and stared. "My god."

"Do you want to hold her?"

He shifted uncomfortably. "Okay." He picked her up and held her against his chest. I watched his tough exterior melt away. He resembled Dean in that moment. "Hey there Eleanor. I'm John... I'm.. I'm you're grandpa." He said shakily.

I smiled at him. Dean would've loved to see that. To see his drill Sargent of a father shed a tear for someone so small.

"She's amazing, Ava."

"Thank you. I think she looks like him."

"I do too." He smiled. "I wish I had the baby pictures of the boys. She kind of looks like Sam. His ears stuck out a bit too."

I smiled at the thought of the boys as babies. Mary only had a few months with Sam. She died when he was six months old.

The thought brought a pain to my stomach. I couldn't imagine not being with my daughter. Another wave of pain hit me when I realized that's what Dean experienced. He died knowing he would never meet her.

I met Johns eyes. "What did you do when Mary died? How did you handle a baby alone?"

He sighed and avoided my gaze. "I didn't. I didn't handle it. The only reason Sam was okay because I had Dean. It wasn't fair to him, and I know that now."

I sucked in my breath. It was only because of Dean. How was I supposed to do this without him?

Sam

"I'll take the bags in. Are you good to get her?" I asked, stepping out of the Impala. I opened the trunk and took out her bags.

"Yeah I've got her." Ava opened the back door and unlatched Eleanors car seat. "Baby girl we are home." She whispered, kissing her face.

I unlocked the house and we stepped inside. "Is she still asleep?"

"Out like a light. A perfect angel."

"If you want to lay down I can put her in bed." I offered as she sat down the car seat.

"That'd be nice, thank you." She said lowering herself onto the couch.

I unlatched little Nel from her carrier and held her against my chest. She slept soundly with her mouth slightly opened. She looked so different already. Her cheeks were fuller and she had a small roundness to her belly. Ava was right, I recognized her sleeping lips as the ones of my brothers.

I walked back into the nursery, turning on the small lamp. It got dark early recently, making the house feel eerily quiet. I walked to her crib and laid her on her back.

I could look at her forever. I wondered if that was what true love was like. I rested my hand on her chest, feeling her raise and fall with every breath.

I sighed and moved my hand before I could think too much. I needed to check on Ava.

I walked back into the living room. "Hey Ave, maybe we can just order a pizza tonight. It's been a long day."

She didn't respond. She was curled on the couch with her shoes still on, asleep. She had been up almost constantly since we had to leave Nel at the hospital. She only slept next to Eleanor's bed.

Having her daughter home must've changed something for her, because she was sound asleep. I couldn't help but smile. We knew she was beautiful from the beginning, and head strong. She was meant for my brother. She was meant for our family.

My phone rang in my pocket. "Hello? Bobby?"

"Listen here idgit." Bobby began, seriously. "Dean is at a bar talking to my niece."

"Your niece?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Ava. She is a detective where you are. She's with Dean, but I need you to do me a favor and leave her alone. Keep her out of all of this."

"We won't bring her in, Bobby, but what are you so afraid of?"

There was silence on the other end of the line.

"She doesn't deserve this life, and I know you boys. You mean well, but you can pull people in. Don't pull her in, or I'll kick your ass myself. Ya hear me?"

"Yeah... I hear you." Click.

We didn't listen.

I pulled her boots off of her slowly. Her legs curled up within her with a quiet, sleepy groan. I laid a blanket over her. Her lips were open, and suddenly she looked so much like Nel. She was little and cute just like her daughter. She was so fierce, though. Dean called her a spitfire. He was right.

I never knew I'd be able to live without my brother, but there was something about Ava and Nel that gave me hope. They lifted a weight from my heart that I think I've carried for a long time.

I lowered myself into the chair across from her and closed my eyes. In this moment of silence we finally deserved a little bit of quiet, a little bit of piece.

—————

Chapter Five, Anything for You

Get caught up!

Tag List:

@xjamiedennettx

[katsukiboom]

THE PROMPTS ARE SO CUTE may I get 11 "this isnt a double date we are just third and forth wheeling" with bakugo? ❤️😍

Sure! I’m sorry about the delay though, writer’s block is strong nowadays ;u;

Watching as the latest train of arollercoaster arrived at the station, you sighed before taking a peek at theblond next to you; Katsuki and you were sitting on a bench at the amusement parkwaiting for your friends, Shouto and Momo to come down of the ride – he wasangrily drinking what was left of the soda he’d bought earlier, and saidnothing to you when seconds later he got up to throw the empty cup in thegarbage can.

You had had a crush on Bakugou for moretime than you would’ve liked to admit, having laid your eyes on him from thevery moment you saw him at Yuuei. It would’ve been great if it were only thetwo of you, you thought, cursing at yourself for agreeing to go on a doubledate when you knew how Momo would unintentionally pay more attention to herboyfriend, but then you remembered she was your best friend and the one who wastrying to get you together with him, so the only thing fair to you was to giveher that one whim as a way to repay her.

“(y/n),” you heard Katsuki call as he satback down next to you. “Don’t go spacing out in public, you idiot.” He alwaysspoke to you with a calm tone, yet always retaining the usual vocabulary, andthat had always taken you aback, but you weren’t going to be the one tocomplain about that. It was weird to hear him talk about (and to) his own classmates in such a bad waywhen he referred to you with such composure, which only  made you feel even closer to him. “Do youthink they’ll come down any moment now? Those two have been gone for fuckingever,” he added while looking at the swing ride in front of you with an annoyedexpression, “we should be having fun too.”

Hearing him refer to you as an item sent ashiver down your spine, and you turned around so that he couldn’t see yourblush; on the other hand, you didfollow the other couple for most of the day, watching as they got into one rideafter another, leaving you both to eat alone and wander around the park justdoing nothing more than chatting about useless things. “I know, Katsuki, I’msure they’ll be back any minute now.” But you knew how it would turn out, andthere were still a lot of things you wanted to try before the day was over –your crush was also impatient, you could tell, and you started thinking of waysyou could get out of there. “I wonder why they even asked us to come with them,”you started, and then mumbled wishing he couldn’t hear you, “this was supposed to be a double date.”

“It’snot a double date,” Katsuki exclaimed, making you blush even more as youturned around to look at him, the embarrassment already filling your gut. “We’re just third and fourth wheeling.” Yousmiled sadly before nodding, acknowledging he was in the right. It was his turnto sigh as he looked at his phone and then back at you, his gaze meeting yourhopeful eyes while he spoke, “Well, look, the day’s almost done, and I’dfucking hate if we left without doing shit. So, (y/n),” he got up and offeredyou his hand, which you blinked a few times as you grabbed it; “why don’t we gosomewhere else without caring about them?”

With a smile you had never seen him show,he dragged you through the park towards the short rides like the teacups, the houseof horrors, and even tried to get lucky with the ‘Ring the Bell’ before gettingyelled at by the manager of the game when he almost broke it – you had to draghim away to avoid him using his Quirk on the poor frightened man, supressingthe need to laugh at the whole situation. I’mgoing to crush you, fucker, he shouted while you pushed him, but in his furiousstate he didn’t seem to notice.

“Don’t worry, Katsuki, I know you’re thestrongest around,” you told him with a chuckle as you walked to the gates ofthe park. You felt the need to grab his hand again, but fearing the way hewould react you desisted of the idea; you knew just how much he hated unwantedphysical contact, you’d seen it with his friends. Your heart dropped to theground as you realized that could’ve been the only chance you had of spendingmore time with him, but at the same time you were happy that you had thoselittle moments. “Well, I guess it’s time for me to call Momo to t-”

“Do you have another minute?” he cut youoff, taking you by surprise. Looking at him, you saw he was staring at theopposite side, his lips forming a thin line and his frown deeper than what youhad seen. Letting out a small ‘yes’ made him turn around, his mouth forming asmall ‘o’; you looked at each other for what seemed like forever, and then aloud scream from a nearby child made you come down to Earth again. “T-then, let’sget the fuck out of here. I know a good pizza place that’s nearby.” You smiledat the little stutter as you followed him outside of the park, people all overwalking with cotton candy or some other souvenir from the place. Many coupleswere around, holding hands or taking selfies, and you couldn’t help but stare.

It was then that you felt his hand timidlyholding onto yours, and you looked at him puzzled. “It’s so you don’t get lostin the crowd, stupid (y/n),” Katsuki said, his eyes not even daring to meetyours. “I don’t want to be blamed if something happens to you.”

Blushing, you walked in silence for amoment, but then something occurred to you. “Hey, Katsuki,” you started, “why didyou decide to join us today?”

He seemed to be weighing his wordscarefully before speaking, and maybe you were thankful that he did; you knew hecould hurt or offend people without thinking, but he was at least trying his best.“Yaoyorozu just begged for me to come. I wasn’t going to show up actually – noone told me you were coming. It was a big surprise to find that I wasn’t goingto be alone like an idiot and I guess I just��” he trailed off, and then yousqueezed his hand, almost instinctively and gaining a groan of surprise fromhim. “What I’m trying to say is – oh fuckit,” he continued, “I’m damn glad it was youwho came too.”

Was it what you thought it was? Was headmitting something? You could see he was just a mess, his face flushed red andhis hands slightly shaking. “Thank you,” you finally said, “I’m glad you cameas well.” Breathing out, you decided it would be a good idea to link your armwith his, and nicely enough he didn’t flinch away from your touch, instead tighteningthe grip. “Now, where’s this pizza place? I’m starting to get hungry.”

[willgayers]

Some hc of Bev testing her makeup with all the Loser's (Richie marking everyone with the lipstick lol) and each one with a different makeup and my God, they would look BEAUTIFUL!!!1!1!

oh my god holy shit im sorry it literally took me like forever to write this but here you finally go!!! 

ps: mike is my personal favorite here

so beverly is a makeup artist student

and for her final project she has to do different kinds of makeup

like an 80s makeup,, 90s… etc

and she needs six models

what a fun coincidence

so one day she calls all the losers to her own condo downtown

she doesn’t tell them what’s up but she promises there will be pizza and root beer so the boys r like well damn aight

and they show up all together at the same time around 6pm ,,, to find beverly’s makeup all over the living room table and they glance at each other like “….”

ben sighs because the poor boy’s been thru lord knows how many makeup projects already  

“brace yourselves.”

stan is about to sneak out but richie smirks and grabs him by the arm and goes

“you’re not going anywhere stanley you’re gonna be a pretty boy”

stan wants to slap him

beverly walks out of another room and sees her friends and she’s like “hey!!! who wants to go first”

everyone turns to look at ben who looks back at them and he’s like “ugh fine” and walks to the living room

anyway beverly had imagined them to sit in the kitchen eating pizza and waiting for their turn and then one by one come to the living room but she thought wrong bc all the losers are sitting around her and watching curiously as she does ben’s makeup

it’s an 80s makeup look,, some purple/pink eyeshadow , fake lashes ,, strong blush and hot pink lips

“looking hot hanscom” richie winks and ben just rolls his eyes because he’s used to this

“ok who’s next” beverly asks

“eddie!!!!” richie basically shoves his boyfriend to the couch and eddie shots a glare at richie bc he hasn’t even finished his pizza slice yet

“do u wanna eat that first” beverly asks

“yeah just gimme a sec” eddie says and stuffs the rest in his mouth and then swallows

“done,,, now make me gorgeous”

eddie gets a 90s makeup look,, simple nude smokey eye with a little kohl and also nude lips + lipliner. mascara big time because this boy has such pretty lashes

“am i done???” eddie asks

“you’re done” beverly nods “nEXT”

eddie gets up and richie’s staring at him

“what” eddie asks

“you … actually look.. good” richie utters out and eddie blushes a lil but shoves him playfully

“ha-ha richie”

“im sERiOus you’re bEaUtiful what the shit eddie”

eddie just ignores him but glances at his reflection from his iphone screen and kinda likes the look

stan is next

“do i have to do this beverly”

“yes you d-do stan.” bill says from the floor, biting on his pizza. stan shots him a scowl and bill smirks wide bc he’s EXCITED to see what’s gonna come out of this

beverly starts putting makeup on stan and he’s very sUsPicIous because beverly’s been putting eyeliner on his eyes a LOT now

“are you doing me the kiss- band makeup or what”

“you’ll see”

then she starts to put golden lipstick

stan is like wTF

“ok you’re done”

bill is smirking wide at stan so uris grabs the mirror from the table and his eyes widen

he’s cleopatra

“WOW did you seriously just do this” stanley says

“yeah”

stan tilts his head in different directions to see the makeup from every angle

“that’s actually really cool”

stan gets up and then sits down to the floor next to beverly

“ok mike you’ve been sitting quietly for the whole time. your turn” beverly says and mike tries to hide behind his pizza box

“miiiiichaaeeeeelll” richie is winking from the corner

“MICHAEL” stanley fakes a super low voice and mike sighs and puts the box down before he sits on the sofa too

mike is getting the old man look google results for this one suck btw 

and the losers have a hard time trying to hold in their laughter as beverly’s doing his face

they try to think that ok,,, it’s not that fun but every time they look at mike again they all start cackling

“WHAT IS IT!!!” mike tries

“you’ll see” beverly smirks

“wHAT iS IT cOmE ON gUyS I CAN SEE YOUR FACES ITS SOMETHING BAD ISNT IT” mike is starting to laugh too

“see for yourself” beverly hands him the mirror and mike bursts out laughing

“oh my… oh my oh my,” he fakes an old man voice and they all laugh again

my favorite ship is losers club + freakin HAPPINESS

once they’ve finally cooled down it’s bill’s turn

“OH oh oH can you do something super pretty with bill’s face” stan asks bc he’s starting to get really into this whole thing

“sure” beverly nods “im gonna do him the 2010’s look”

“which is???”

“contour and stuff like that”

bill swallows and blushes a little as he sees the excitement on stanley’s face

in the back of the room mike is still doing grandpa impressions and eddie and richie and ben are losing it

“so you’re gonna use that one now. okay and now that one. uh-huh… interesting” stan is watching very closely

bill is done!

“wow.” stan just says

“what” bill asks

“eyebrow game STRONGgGGg right” beverly smirks at stan

“yAaasSS GIRLLLL” stanley jokes 

“well well well,” ben speaks from the corner “there’s only one left”

everyone turns to look at richie at the same time and tbh he feels a little scared because these people don’t look like his friends

“alright you bunch of drag queens and the godfather im going”

“whatcha gonna make me bevs” richie asks as he jumps down on the couch

“well first im gonna shove your hair out of your face”

she shoves richie’s hair back from his forehead with a pink hair band on and eddie smirks in the corner bc richie looks funny. but also cute

actually all of them think he looks cute like that

beverly starts to pat something weird and thick on richie’s nose and richie’s a little disgusted

“what are you doing…”

“im giving you a bigger nose”

“wHY”

“just let me do it ok”

sounds fake but ok,, richie thinks and just stares at beverly 

then she grabs something that looks like a piece of flesh and richie yelps out

“WHAT THE fUcK IS THAT”

“it’s a fake scar”

“ARE YOU MAKING ME THE FREAKIN LEATHERFACE”

stan and bill laugh in the front row

“no,,,” beverly rolls her eyes in amusement

once the scar is on richie’s face beverly starts putting on some guyliner

“ah!!! i get who you’re doing!!! because of the hair right???” eddie then asks

“yeah the hair inspired me” beverly says

then she pulls out a fake mustache and richie’s eyes widen

they all burst out laughing as beverly’s trying to put it on richie’s face but he keeps on scrunching his nose and twisting his lips

“rICHIE STAY STILL” beverly tries

“BUT IT TICKLES”

the mustache is finally on and beverly lets richie’s hair fall loose

“now who the hell am i” richie asks and grabs the mirror

he’s captain hook (just imagine the scar somewhere)

“WOW” he says

“like it???”

“i look fucking badass”

“what do you think eds should i keep the mustache ;-)”

“pls dont”

“how come,,, i think you could totally rock that look”

“thanks michael i think so too”

bev looks at the clock and it’s 10pm already

”finally done,,,, im starving gosh" beverly is about to get up but richie shoves her back down

“uhm no. i think it’s only fair we do your makeup too”

“what???”

“that’s actually a f-funny idea.” bill says

stan is already picking out some makeup he thinks looks interesting

“SIT DOWN BEVVY” richie smirks and pulls her to the couch

“oh my god please at least give me some pizza” beverly begs and ben hands her the box

“thanks babe” beverly goes and ben turns bright pink

mike nudges him on the side and gives him a creepy old guy wink

“what are you even gonna make me” beverly asks as she munches on her pizza and eddie is applying foundation on her face

“we’re gonna make you,,,, beautiful.” richie just simply says, starting to draw her eyebrows

“move over tozier” stanley goes and shoves himself between richie and eddie,,, starting to tap blue and orange eyeshadow to beverly’s eyelids

“oh my g-god stan…” bill mumbles

“shut UP william, this looks amazing” stanley says concentrated

eddie’s done with foundation so he moves away and bill starts doing the bronzer

mike and ben are debating whether they should put nude or bright blue lipstick

boys think the blue one is COOL

so they decide to use that one

the makeup is done and they all stare at beverly,,, looking impressed and incredibly proud of their work

almost a happy tear rolls from the corner of stanley’s eye because now, he is an makeup artist

“WAIT!” richie then says

“what???” they all ask

“one more final add.”

he grabs a black eyeliner and a red lipstick and kneels in front of beverly,,, starting to write to her forehead with the eyeliner

the losers snicker a little and eddie rolls his eyes

then richie puts the eyeliner away and grabs the red lipstick and creates something with one swift move

“done” he says and drops the lipstick to the table

he grabs the tiny mirror and hands it to beverly, who starts to laugh

she has blue/orange eyeshadow, overly thick eyeliner, way too narrow eyebrows, too much bronzer, shock blue lipstick and the word LOSER on her forehead, a V over the S just like eddie’s cast had it

“WELL???” richie asks

“a beautiful look boys. im proud of you”

and they are all so smitten

especially stan

@superbyersbros @xbell22 @donthateonk8 @stenbroughbros @reddiebrekmyheart@itsgreywaterrichie @donvex @blueeyespurpleskies@ageorgymi@oh-youre-the-worst@eddiekaaspbraak @whipashwhipash @rissyq @richietoaster @edskasqbrak@urtury@bukiminajimu @kcutieeesblog @stansmansuris @adorefack @reddieaddict @icyeyes102@denbroughbill @graveyardshipper @taletellingsir@anxiety-freak-yuuri @rheddie@queertrashmouth @richiefreakingtozier@castletozier @tohzier @80soleff @lonewolfhard @low-key-dying @sad-synth @richietoaster @badboyharrington @beepbeep-losers @temptedtozier@kaspbraccs@kylieee827-blog @sad-synth @low-key-dying@officiallyreddie@reddietofall @stanleyboii @eternitynurarms @remushlupin@turtleneckrichie@rosegoldrichie @80srichie @asteroidbill @lonewolfhard 

[socialoutsiderwritings]

Only Forever

A/N: based off of Demi Lovato’s song ONLY FOREVER because every time I hear it I feel some typa way.

Warnings: Language , Smut (NSFW 18+) Practice safe sex , kiddos.

16 YRS Old

 Y/N watches as he downs his shot before bending down over the table , lining up the pool stick with the cue ball. She loved the way his eyebrows furrowed and how his tongue would peak out of his mouth when he was focused. She smiled to herself when he raised his arms up in excitement after making his shot. “Your turn , princess.” He smiled. She felt the slight burning on her cheeks , blushing. She downed her shot and bent over lining up her pool stick with the cue ball , ready to take her shot. “Wait.” Her eyes follow him as he gets up from his spot and over to her. He stands behind her , one hand positioning her elbow at the right angle. The other holding his weight on the edge of the pool table as he lowers himself down. She can feel his hot breath blowing on her ear. Her body stiffens as she feels his entire body on her backside. “Relax.” He whispers. She does as she’s told. “Ok. Now take your shot. Not too hard.”  She takes a deep breath , pulling the stick back several inches before striking the cue ball , softly but with enough power , and making her ball in. She grins widely as she straightens her posture. “Its all in the elbow.” He says , tapping his elbow. She laughs , shaking her head softly at his antics. “We’ve got the 8 ball left.” Pointing at the black ball on the table. “Lets make this interesting.” He smiles , devilishly. “Winner gets to ask for whatever they want. Loser pays the tab.” She rolls her eyes, “Thats not fair. You know i’ve suck at this game.”

“I know. Maybe this will give you enough motivation to not suck.” He shrugs. “I’ll be nice enough to let you go again. 3 chances to make the ball.” She thinks it over a minute before sticking her hand out , “You’ve got yourself a deal , bub.” He chuckles as he grabs her hand giving it a quick shake. She focuses as she takes her first shot and misses. She looks over at him and he shrugs. She positions herself in front of the cue ball again. She takes a deep breath and takes her shot. Fail. The pool stick goes over the cue ball and her head falls low, mentally cursing herself. “It’s alright , Princess. Hmm...? What do I want , what do I want?” She lifts her head up to glare at him as he playfully taps his chin. “I still have one shot left , asshole.” She says as she walks over to the other side of the pool table. She lowers herself down , calculating her last shot. She gives herself an assuring nod as she positions herself one last time. She takes in a deep breath , and shoots. Her mouth drops as the ball moves closer and closer to the corner pocket. She brings her hands up in midair , ready to shoot them up and celebrate her victory when suddenly the ball stops. “WHAT?!” She yells. He comes over to her , laughing. “Better luck next time , kiddo.” He ruffles her hair , and bends down over the table making his last shot with ease. “That doesnt count.” She pouts , fixing her hair. “Of course it does.” He smiles , proudly. She rolls her eyes as she digs in to her front pockets , pulling out 40$. “Not so fast. Winner goes first.” He smiles. She rolls her eyes , waiting for whatever ridiculous thing he’s going to ask for. Swear ,if he asks me for my friend’s number again I’m gonna- ”What is your deepest darkest secret.?” He interrupts her thoughts. “What?” She raises an eyebrow at his question. “You heard me. “ he slowly walks towards her. “I see the way you look at me when you think i’m not looking.” He stands just a few feet away from her , reaching out , placing his hands on her waist. “I feel the way you tense up when I’m near you.” He pulls her towards him. “The way you blush when I call you Princess.” He brings a hand up to caress her cheek. Her breathing becomes ragged as she gazes up in to his eyes. “The way you feel about me. That’s your deepest darkest secret isnt it? I want to know.”

“How can you be so sure , it is?” She challenges , causing him to smirk. “We wont know until you say it.” He drops his hands from her body and begins to back away slowly. She grabs both of his wrists stopping him. “I love you.” She blurts. “I’m sorry what was that?” He raises his hand up to his ear , smiling , messing with her. She playfully smacks him and he places his hands on her waist again , looking down at her. “I said,” she rests her wrists on his shoulders , as her thumbs gently trace his jaw, “I love you. Forsythe Pendleton Jones the second.”

He smirks. “Well guess what , Y/F/N. I love you , too.” She smiles , and he brings himself down to kiss her.  He pulls away “Just so we’re clear , this isnt a best friend type of ‘I love you’ right?” “No.” She giggles. “Ok , good.” He smiles , and she raises herself up on her tippy-toes to kiss him again.

18 YRS OLD

“Do you really have to go?” She whines. She looks up at him from where she sat on the bench. “Even if I didnt want to, its too late , i’m already here.” They were both waiting for the bus to take FP to the airport. She looks over at the backpack next to her. The only things he owned , stuffed inside. She pulls the pamphlet from the side pocket , opening it. “Of all the other things you could have done. You chose the Army?” She sighs , stuffing the pamphlet back inside. “If it gets me outta this town. I’m up for it.” He slides the backpack over to the other side and he takes a seat next to her. “I’ll be back. Eventually. If I dont die.” She rolls her eyes as he chuckles. “It’s just bootcamp. I’ll be gone for at least 6 months. No biggie.”

“Cant you take me with you?” She grabs on to his arm , shaking it slightly. “C’mon , kid.” He brings a hand up to remove her grip on his arm. “You’ll be alright. I promise to call you. And when I cant call. I promise to write. You just gotta remember not to forget about me.” He winks. He grabs his backpack , slipping the strap over his shoulder as the bus begins to pull up. “Like I would ever forget you.” She sighs. He gives her a quick kiss on the forehead before walking up to the bus. “Remember.” He calls back to her. She nods and watches him board. She stops the tears from falling as she watches the bus take the love of her life away for 6 months.

As the months pass , FP’s contact with Y/N went from constant to every once in a while. She reread his letters over and over when he didn’t call. She would write to him when she didn’t receive a new letter. She missed him , and just wanted to know if he missed her too. When the 6th month was finally up , He called her to tell her he wouldn’t be coming back. Not for another three years at least. He had signed up to do some work in South Korea. He sounded so happy , she couldnt tell him how much it killed her. So she smiled , congratulated him and told him she couldnt wait to see him in three years. He thanked her and promised to bring back a souvenir or two for his best girl.

21 YRS OLD.

She hugged her jacket closer to her as she sat at the same bus stop she watched the love her life leave. She was the only one there. She wished she had brought a bigger , thicker jacket. It was freezing. The sun was barely rising. FP called her to tell her he was coming home and she was the first person he wanted to see. She quickly stood up as she watched the bus pull up and stop. Her heart began to beat faster. She scanned the crowd of people piling out , hoping he would be one of them. She began to sit back down when she didnt see him but stopped. “That’s the hello imma get?” She smiled brightly and ran over to him. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around him as he caught her. “Oh my God. I missed you.” She can feel the tears forming in her eyes and quickly wiped them away before bringing herself down. “Oh my God.” She stepped back as she took him in. He got bigger. He had muscles , not too big but just enough to reveal themselves thru his clothing whenever he moved. His hair was a little longer , he had it slicked back and he had facial hair. “You look-“ “Amazing. I know.” He smiled. She playfully rolled her eyes at him. “Come on. How about we go to the Whyte Wyrm and celebrate. Its on me.” She smiled , leading him to her car. “If its on you...might as well.” He joked.

22 YRS OLD

“Happy Birthday to you,” the whole bar sang as FP walked to her, carrying a huge cake in his hands. The gang had finished singing as FP set the cake down on the pool table , lighting the candles one by one. “I wasn’t gonna risk dropping it and setting the whole place on fire.” He whispered to her. She laughed and thanked him for the gesture. “Make a wish , Princess.” He smiled. She closed her eyes , I wish for you FP , she inhaled deeply and exhaled all the air she had , blowing out the candles. Everyone cheered as she kept her eyes fixated on him. The night was going smoothly , she was sat at the bar downing the drinks her friends had bought for her. Her breathing became ragged , as she spot FP on the other side of the bar. His arm around a pretty blonde , he leaned down to say something in her ear and she threw her head back , laughing. Her heart shattered. She wanted to look away. But she couldn’t. She watched as he flirted with her , caressed her cheek , made her laugh , made her blush , doing anything to make sure he had her in the palm of his hand. She had enough. She finally turned her back to them , asking the bartender for 2 more shots. As he placed them in front of her , she drank them , with no hesitation. She pushed herself off the stool and made her way to the bathroom. She splashed some water on her face , trying to cool herself down as she felt her face burning. Maybe I had too much too drink. She leaned over the sink and looked at herself in the mirror. Ugh , you idiot. He didn’t want you back then , what makes you think he wants you now? Just move on , girl. She shook her head. Yup. One too many shots. She gave herself a quick little once over in the mirror before walking out. She scanned the bar looking for FP. When she didn’t spot him she looked for the blonde he was with. She was nowhere to be seen either. “If you’re looking for hotshot , he left.” She turned around to see who was talking. She didn’t recognize him. When she didn’t respond he continued to say, “He was in a rush to get that pretty blonde outta here. You his girl?” She shook her head. “I don’t know if I should say too bad for him or just my luck.” He smiled. She eyed him suspiciously as he walked closer to her. “I’m Eric.” He smiled , holding his hand out to her. She gave him a small smile , before taking his hand in hers , “Y/N.” “Ah , the birthday girl.” She nodded. “So tell me , birthday girl , would you like to get outta here?”

——————————

She woke up the next morning , her head pounding. She got off her bed , rubbing her eyes and going out towards her kitchen. She glanced over at Eric who was asleep on her couch , shirtless. She remembered him taking her to Pop’s for a late dinner and coming back to her trailer , falling asleep instantly. She didn’t want to wake him just yet , so she continued towards her kitchen and prepared herself a cup of coffee. “Good Morning.” FP yells as he bursts thru her front door. “In the kitchen.” I should remember to lock it. As if he read her mind , FP closes the door, “still forgetting to lock this thing huh?” He asks , walking in and taking a seat at her table. “Coffee?” She asks , not waiting for him to answer as she grabs another mug from her cupboard. “Who’s the guy?” He gestures towards Eric. She glances over to him as she reaches the table , surprised he’s still asleep after all the noise FP made , as she set a coffee mug in front of FP and taking a seat across from him. “Eric.” She blows on your coffee before taking a sip. “You bringing strangers in to your home now?” She looks at FP confused , he was angry , but trying to hide it. “He’s not a stranger.” “Whered you meet him?” “At the bar?” “Huh.” Is all he said as he sips his coffee. “You taking strangers home?” She traces the rim of the mug with her finger. “I can take care of myself. You cant.” He says. She scoffs at his answer. “Meaning?” “Meaning ... you cant be bringing guys over. You never know. They might rob you , assault you , or even kill you.” She watches as he sips his coffee again. “Thats rich. Coming from a guy who constantly takes women back to his trailer.” He sets his coffee down. “I can defend myself. You can’t.” “Are you so sure about that? Maybe he did try something.” FP clenches his jaw. “He’s probably dead on my sofa.” They both avert their attention towards Eric as he groans , stretching himself out on the couch. “Good morning.” She calls as he sits up. She notices FP roll his eyes from the corner of her eye. “Morning.” He rubs his eyes. “What time is it?” He grabs his shirt from the floor , slipping it on. “Time for you to go home.” FP snarls. She waves him off, “Don’t mind him. It’s 10 to 1. You want some coffee?” “Nah. He’s right.” He stands up from the couch after putting his shoes on. “I should get going.” He walks closer ,grabing his jacket from the counter and walks over to her. “Thanks for the offer tho. I had a great time.” He smiles. “So did I. I’ll catch you later?” “Definitely.” He kisses the top of her head before heading out the front door. She notices FP glaring at her. “What?” She asks , annoyed. “Did you fuck him?” “What?” “Did you fuck him?” “No! I did not fuck him! Are you insane?” She stands up from her chair. He doesn’t say anything. “Who do you think you are? I don’t go around asking you if you’ve fucked other people?” She begins pacing in the small kitchen, muttering nonsense to herself. FP watches her for a couple minutes before standing up and walking over to her. She finally stops pacing with her back towards him. He wraps his arms around her waist. She tries to wiggle herself out of his grasp , but he doesn’t budge. “I’m sorry.” He whispers. She stops fidgeting. “I got jealous. I just cant stand the fact of someone else touching you.” Her body tenses up as he brushes his lips from her neck up to her ear. “They way I’ve been wanting to touch you.” Her head falls back on to his chest as he whispers in her ear. He unwraps his arm from her waist , bringing them down to her thighs and up the inside of her oversized tshirt. Goosebumps rise on her skin at his soft touch as gently grazes his fingers up her sides. “Say it.” He whispers again , gently biting her ear. She whimpers , and his hands continue softly touching her body making their way to cup her breasts. He gently squeezes them and she moans. “Say it.” He says. She’s about to say it when memories of him flirting with the blonde flash thru her mind. She removes his hands from her breasts and turns to face him. “Stop it.” She tries to control her shaky voice. “Stop what?” “Stop this.” She gestures between them. “You’re just going to fuck me again. And leave. Like all those other times.” She swallows down the lump in her throat. Stay strong. Don’t cry. Keep your foot down. “You’re gonna use the same excuse. That you’re not ready.” She feels the tears forming in her eyes and quickly looks down. FP’s shoes come in to view. He cups her face , raising her head up to look at him. his eyes search every part of her face , taking her in. She cant take her eyes off him , but she knows she has to , she cant let him hurt her again. She closes her eyes , bringing her hands up to remove his hands from her face but before she can he crashes his lips on to hers. She doesn’t move at first , when she feels him pull away , she grabs the back of his neck pulling him back in. Their lips move in sync , she removes her hands from his neck and down to his shirt , she pulls it up and FP removes himself from her so she can pull it off before bringing his lips back to hers. She tosses his shirt to the side and brings her hands back to his neck softly dragging her nails down his back , making him moan. She smiles to herself , she loved the sounds he made. She drags her hands around to his front , unbuckling his belt , then unbuttoning his jeans. He lifts her up , sitting her on the counter. “Say it.” He says , pulling his pants down along with his boxers. She watches him , intensely , as he does so. “Say it.” He says , dominantly. He lifts her shirt up and pulls down her panties. He pulls her down to the edge of the counter , lining himself up at her entrance. “Say it.” “I love you.” She exhales. He slowly pushes himself in , and her mouth falls open in pleasure. He wraps an arm around her , keeping her steady as he slowly thrusts himself in and out. “FP.” She moans. He picks up his pace. He slams the cupboard above her with his free hand , as he thrusts faster. “Yes.” She moans , again and again. Feeling herself closer to her climax. “I’m so close.” He grunts in response , slowing his pace and thrusting harder. “Fuck.” She gasps. She grips his shoulders as she reaches her climax , burying her face in his neck. “Fuck.” He exhales as he finishes. He helps her down and she leans back on to the counter , her legs weak. He pulls his pants up , buttoning his jeans. “I love you.” She says as she caresses his cheek. He brings his hand up over hers , closing his eyes , melting in to her touch. “I love you.” He says back. “Do you mean it?” “ I always mean it.” He says kissing the palm of her hand. Just as she expected , he’s pulling his shirt over his head and heading out the door. Leaving her alone , like he’s done many times before.

3 MOS Later

“Can I come in?” He asks. She just wanted to slam the door in his face. After that day she hasn’t talked to him. Whenever they were at the same place he would leave , and he was never alone. He was either with the same blonde or someone different. He was purposely avoiding her. And she hated it, but accepted it. She called Eric earlier that night and met up with him at the Whyte Wyrm. She was having fun. She got a little too flirty with him and FP noticed. He watched as she placed a hand on his thigh , leaning in to whisper sweet nothings in to his ear. His knuckles turning white as he gripped the pool stick tighter as his anger bubbled inside him. After watching him place his hands on her waist and leaning in to kiss her he had enough. He marched over to them , punching Eric. He fell out of his stool and she pushed FP away and knelt down to help him. Eric pinched his nose to stop the bleeding , gently shoving Y/N away. “I dont know what you two have going on. But I cant be seeing you anymore.” Eric tells Y/N as he gets up , heading towards the bathroom. Outraged , Y/N slaps FP in the face. “I hate you.” She spits. And thats what brought FP here tonight. He didn’t want her to hate him. “Please.” He pleads. She sighs as she moves aside allowing him to come in. He takes a seat on the couch and Y/N follows suit , leaving a big space between them.  “I don’t know what happened tonight.” He begins. Y/N rolls her eyes , “I do. You got jealous. You just want me to be yours without you being mine and it’s not fair. You say you love me. And if you do why don’t we just give us-“ “She’s pregnant.”He interrupts “W-what? Who?”Shocked. She can feel her heart breaking as she waits for him to answer, “The blonde. She called me a couple days ago to tell me. Then she showed up at my trailer with the tests to show me she wasnt lying.” She couldn’t believe it. She blinks rapidly a few times , processing the information , “What are you gonna do?” He scratches his head, “I don’t know. She wants to keep it but.” He sighs. “But what?” She wants him to continue. “I’m not ready.” He admits. She grabs his hand , squeezing it gently , “Its ok. I’ll be here for you. I promise. But you have to be there for her and your child.” He gives her a small smile , “ I love you.” “I love you,too.”

She kept her promise. She’s been with him every step of the way. Giving him advice , picking out clothes for his son , making sure he had everything he needed. Most nights he’d stay with her after their intimate moments, which she enjoyed because she got to have him around more. But as the months grew closer for his son to be born his nights were spent at his trailer with her , leaving Y/N alone again. She would never admit to him how much it hurt , and she didn’t want to ruin his chance at a family , no matter how badly she wanted it to be with her.

24 YRS Old

Y/N found herself laying next to FP again. He had been coming over after the birth of his son , saying how stressful it was raising a child. But as his son grew older , the easier it got but that didnt stop him from coming over. Talking sometimes led to arguing about him  playing with Y/N’s feelings which led to him reeling her back in with “I love you” that led to one thing and the other and always ended up with them in bed together. Y/N knew she was torturing herself , but she loved him. She laid on his chest as he played with her hair. “I’m gonna ask her to marry me.” He says. She quickly shoots up off his chest and stares at him. “What?” “She’s raising my kid.” He begins to sit up. “And I love him.” “Ok.” She states. “But do you love her?” He doesn’t respond. She scoffs as she gets up off the bed to get dressed. “Dont act like that.” He says , getting up and getting dressed as well. “Like what?” She retorts. “Like you didn’t see this coming.” She slowly turns to face him , angry. “Excuse me?” She asks slowly. “I told you everything. Its not like I kept you in the dark.” “I know that. And i’m sorry if I just cant handle it anymore.” She spits. “Handle what?” He raises his voice. “This!” She yells , she’s not gonna hold back anymore. “You. Just coming around whenever you want. Sleeping with me. Telling me you love me. And then leaving. Finding other women to sleep with.” “I told you I wasn’t ready for a relationship.” He starts. “With strangers! You said you werent ready to start a relationship with someone new. I’m not new! I’ve been your best friend for years. Ive never held it against you because I love you and I respected your decision. But this is too much. I tried moving on because I know I will never have you the way I want. But youre always there and you do shit that makes me think maybe this time you’ll come around.” He walks up to her and reaches up to wipe the tears away but she smacks his hand away. “Don’t do that. Don’t all of a sudden care about my feelings because i’m crying.”

“I dont all of a sudden care.” He says , softly. “I’ve always cared because.. I love you.” She lets out a sob as she shakes her head. “You say you love me. But you dont..you just love having me around. But my love for you was - is so strong I put up with it because I just wanted you. And I wish I could hate you. For everything. But I really hate myself , because after admitting all of this , I would still wait forever for you.” FP stands there , staring at her , watching her cry. He doesn’t say anything , he doesnt know what to say. She turns away from him as she begins to wipe her tears away. “I want you to leave.” She says. “Y/N-“ he pleads. The desperation in is voice just makes her want to turn around and hug him. But she doesnt. “I want you leave.” She repeats. She holds in her tears as she listens to his footsteps getting softer as they retreat out of her room. When she hears the front door close , she crawls back in to bed , sobbing. Not because he left , because she knows , if he comes knocking on her door tomorrow , or in three days , or 5 months  , or even 17 years from now , she’ll accept him with open arms no matter what. Because her love for him would last forever. 

[teoriasemserie-blog]

ELSAS POWERS AND HER FEELINGS FOR ANNA

We all know Elsas powers are about her feelings, they are a metaphor for her feelings. Its about a person who cant show her real feelings, she need to contain this bc her feelings can hurt the people she loves. Many people read this like a metaphor to her being gay, what really fits. We can read this with her having feelings for her sister, well anyone can read this as they want.

All start we them, all is about them, also the musics.

ELSAS POWERS

Its very symbolical, its not just ice powers, she can create life, we saw with Olaf, the Monster and the Little Ones. She can give life to her feelings, also she can break the fisic rules. 

See the snowflake, its stopped in the air. Also she does the clothes in a way it doesnt look like made of ice. I really take all this being about mind.

HURT

Elsa hurts Anna twice bc shes having problems with her feelings, the first time she wanted to protect Anna, she hurt Annas mind, the mind is easy to convince, thats, people can say you that what you feel is not true, they can control your mind, they can say that what you feel is evil. We saw the Troll take Annas memories, if we look to this as how things are in society, this make clear, we are taught to forget a lot of things, they say what we lived isnt true, that we are confused, they convince us to. So their parents put them away, its not just Elsas choice, its how her parents create her, making her contain her feelings, dont let no one see this, so she cant be with Anna. 

Its Anna who start everything, and this keep going, when Elsa became the Queen, Anna come and say she’ll marry someone, thats when all start, they fight, and Anna want to know why Elsa act the way she acts, and so Elsa lose control again, and bc of Anna she is exposed in front of all kingdom, all society. So she run away. The second time she hurt Anna is bc shes trying to contain the feelings but she cant so she hurt Anna again, this time in the heart, the heart is hard to convince bc different of the mind the feelings are honest, people cant take it away from you, but feelings can frozen you, can hurt you, if you dont know how to deal with this, we saw Anna deals with this sacrificing herself for Elsa, the feeling is love of course, the only way to deal with love is accepting and giving it back. 

Olaf, The Monster and The little ones

And here we are giving life to feelings, love, fear(fear leads to fury or anger) and anxiety.

Olaf represents Elsa and Annas love, but also he doesnt know how the things works, he knows the feeling so he can say who loves who, and that sometimes we can melt for someone bc if we love this person so we can sacrifice us and show our feelings. If frozen means contain your feelings, melt is show it. Olafs says Kristof loves Anna but he doesnt says Anna loves Kristof, remember Anna as Elsa doesnt know nothing about love, and Anna grew up thinking she need meet some man and marry. She would marry any man if he says he likes her. Anna sacrifices herself for Elsa, and so Elsa understand about love, love warm, love make you melt. We see Olaf start to melt bc Elsa start accept her feelings. She need hold some feelings to keep him in his form, of course, and we saw in Fever Elsa has a lot of feelings that shes holding and needs to deal. 

The monster

The monster represents the fear, the fury, the anger. Elsa creates him so she can be alone. He expulses everyone. Thats what the fear does, what the fury does. 

The Little Ones

In Frozen Fever, Elsa wants make the perfect birthday to Anna, shes sick but she doesnt care bc she was apart of Anna for so long, and she thinks shes responsable for Annas life be bad. So she start lose control of her power again, what means lose control of her feelings. Anxiety is a feeling hard to deal, its like to have so many in your head you can do or deal with nothing. 

THE MUSIC

All the musics are about Elsa and Anna.

Frozen Heart

Born of cold and winter air

And mountain rain combining!

This icy force both foul and fair

Has a frozen heart worth mining!

Cut through the heart cold and clear!

Strike for love and strike for fear!

There’s beauty and there’s danger here

Split the ice apart!

Beware the frozen heart…

Its really about them and how love is hard to deal, well deal with feelings in general, so we need be careful.

Do you want to build a Snowman

Elsa, please I know you're in there People are asking where you've been They say, "have courage" and I'm trying to I'm right out here for you Just let me in We only have each other It's just you and me What are we gonna do? Do you want to build a snowman?

Its clear about Anna trying to conect with Elsa again, they love each other but they were separated. Let in is the metaphor for lets feel.

For the first time in forever

Has two part and is a song about being alone for so long and want romance, but so this ends being about Elsa and Anna in the two parts. 

First part:

(...)

Anna:

I suddenly see him standing there A beautiful stranger, tall and fair I wanna stuff some chocolate in my face! But then we laugh and talk all evening Which is totally bizarre Nothing like the life I've lead so far! For the first time in forever There'll be magic, there'll be fun! For the first time in forever I could be noticed by someone And I know it is totally crazy To dream I'd find romance But for the first time in forever At least I've got a chance!

Elsa

Don't let them in Don't let them see Be the good girl You always have to be Conceal Don't feel Put on a show Make one wrong move And everyone will know But it's only for today

Anna It's only for today!

Second part:

Anna: You don't have to protect me I'm not afraid Please don't shut me out again Please don't slam the door You don't have to keep your distance anymore 'Cause for the first time in forever I finally understand For the first time in forever We can fix this hand in hand We can head down this mountain together! You don't have to live in fear Cause for the first time in forever I will be right here

(...)

Anna: It's okay, you can just unfreeze it Elsa: No, I can't I... I don't know how! Anna: Sure you can! I know you can! 'Cause for the first time in forever Elsa: Oh I'm such a fool! I can't be free! Anna: You don't have to be afraid Elsa: No escape from the storm inside of me! Anna: We can work this out together! Elsa: I can't control the curse! Anna: We'll reverse the storm you've made Elsa: Anna, please, you'll only make it worse! Anna: Don't panic! Elsa: There's so much fear! Anna: We'll make the sun shine bright! Elsa: You're not safe here! Anna: We can face this thing together! Elsa: No! Anna: We can change this winter weather! Elsa: AHH Anna: And everything will be all right Elsa: I CAN'T!

They can fix all this together if they accept their feelings. Also Anna has no idea about how to fix this but she feels she can but Elsa cant do this, shes so afraid, she was afraid for so long.

Let it go

Its a music about let your feelings out but if keep her feelings made her powers grow and frozen everything, this means she sing but shes doing the opposite, shes holding her fear and the bad feelings, thats why everything is frozen, and thats why she does a kingdom of isolation. 

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight Not a footprint to be seen A kingdom of isolation And it looks like I'm the queen The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I've tried Don't let them in, don't let them see Be the good girl you always have to be Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know Well, now they know Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore Let it go, let it go Turn away and slam the door I don't care what they're going to say Let the storm rage on The cold never bothered me anyway It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all It's time to see what I can do To test the limits and break through No right, no wrong, no rules for me I'm free

The song is amazing, but shes lying, shes not free, shes trapped in a kingdom of isolation. But its the start she starts to deal with her feelings but shes not in the control, she needs help with this, Annas help.

In Summer

Its Olafs song, and its about melt, what means its about love, he wants the Summer so he can finally get the love. Its what Elsa and Anna wants,they were  being in the winter for so long, without can love.

Olaf: Nope! But sometimes I like to close my eyes, and imagine what I'll be like when summer does come Bees they'll buzz, kids'll blow dandelion fuzz And I'll be doing whatever snow does in summer A drink in my hand, my snow up against the burning sand Prob'ly getting gorgeously tanned in summer I' ll finally see a summer breeze, blow away a winter storm And find out what happens to solid water when it gets warm! And I can? t wait to see, what my buddies all think of me Just imagine how much cooler I'll be in summer Dah dah, da doo, uh bah bah bah bah bah boo The hot and the cold are both so intense Put 'em together it just makes sense! Rr Raht da daht dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah doo Winter's a good time to stay in and cuddle But put me in summer and I'll be a happy snowman! When life gets rough, I like to hold on to my dream Of relaxing in the summer sun, just lettin' off steam Oh the sky would be blue, and you guys will be there too When I finally do what frozen things do in summer Kristoff: I'm gonna tell him Anna: Don't you dare! Olaf: In summer!

Love is a open door

Its a song about romance and as in For The first time in forever, its about Elsa and Anna. Anna and Hans sing this, so they bretray us, mind is easy to convince remember. Anna and Hans never loved each other. 

Anna: All my life has been a series of doors in my face And then suddenly I bump into you Hans: I was thinking the same thing! Cause like I've been searching my whole life to find my own place And maybe it's the party talking or the chocolate fondue Anna: But with you Hans: But with you Hans: I found my place Anna: I see your face Both: And it's nothing like I've ever known before! Love is an open door! Love is an open door! Love is an open door! Anna: With you! Hans: With you! Anna: With you! Hans: With you! Both: Love is an open door Hans: I mean it's crazy Anna: What? Hans: We finish each other's? Anna: Sandwiches! Hans: That's what I was gonna say! Anna: I've never met someone Both: Who thinks so much like me! Jinx! Jinx again! Our mental synchronization Can have but one explanation Hans: You Anna: And I Hans: Were Anna: Just Both: Meant to be! Anna: Say goodbye Hans: Say goodbye Both: To the pain of the past We don't have to feel it anymore! Love is an open door! Love is an open door! Life can be so much more!

So the person shes mean to be is the person who likes the same things she likes, has synchronization with her and they need to say goodbye to the pain of the past? Fine!

Fixer Upper

Its a song about romance again, its the song the Trolls sang to Anna and Kristof. 

(...)

So he's a bit of a fixer-upper, but this we're certain of: You can fix this fixer-upper Up with a little bit of love!

(...)

Bulda: We're not sayin' you can change him, 'Cause people don't really change. We're only saying that love's a force That's powerful and strange. People make bad choices if they're mad Or scared, or stressed. But throw a little love their way.

(...)

He's just a bit of a fixer-upper, He's got a couple of bugs. His isolation is confirmation Of his desperation for healing hugs So he's a bit of a fixer-upper, But we know what to do. The way to fix up this fixer-upper Is to fix him up with you!

The trolls wanted to marry Anna and Kristoff in the same way Anna wanted to marry Hans, without know nothing about each other. They just see the two there, so of course they must be a couple and have to marry, right? The song is about Elsa, shes the person who need hugs (Elsas kid says I love warm hugs, and Olaf says too), and shes the person in the isolation, and who needs love to fix her up. Also healing hugs, right? 

Suprise bitches!!  And, I must say I love Kristoff, hes cute, he can be good to Anna, i would ship them, also Kristoff makes sense as Hans bc we need an Animus, the male part of mind being represented, our first is a negative what needed be defeat, and the last is a positive one, so he can stay with Anna.  

ANNAS MEMORY

They erased Annas memory about the MAGIC. Magic means feelings. So maybe something happened when they were young, and they did something sisters dont must to do, or maybe its things girls cant to do with girls. Like a kiss or say “when I grow up I’ll marry you”, this things children does. This scared their parents so they separated them and make Annas forget, she was the younger so she can forget for sure but Elsa cant. 

After this we have Anna wanting romance and fall in love, of course with boys. So we had two boys, and we had two songs about love, both songs that are about Elsa and Anna, and Anna almost marry the two boys. So we had them talking about the true love kiss, they talk about this twice too, Anna try first with Hans, but he doesnt love her, and so she finds out Kristof loves her, so hes her only option, right? All the thing with mind is easy to convince fits well in this, someone said her Kristoff loves her, so she needs be with him.

But so in the middle of her way she sees Elsa, remember the heart is hard to be convinced. Even if someone told you theres a perfect person to you love, you go save the person you real love even if you dont know what kind of love its.

So, no kiss, of course, they are sisters, they need to be sisters. But its cannon they are true love. 

So, thats all. 

[ishqbaaaaz]

Ishqbaaaz - August 28 2017 - Episode 355

OK I KNOW IM LIKE HELLA LATE BUT IVE BEEN SO DAMN BUSY THIS WEEK BUT I FINALLY HAVE TIME TO SIT AND DO THESE

HERE WE GO I HAVE MY POPCORN READY

LET THE ROAST BEGIN

ok starting from a bit before we left off from Sunday’s episode

Here we are Pinky revealing everything BITCH SNATCH YOURSELF

BUT I DONT GET HOW THIS IS A LIE

LIKE WHERE DID MAHI COME FROM THEN AND WHAT DID KAMINI HAVE AGAINST THEM THEN?

Annika is confused as fuck

she says she isnt worthy of Shivaay 

Bringing up when he got shot for Annika

DID WE FORGET ANNIKA DID THE SAME AS WELL

LOL SHE SAYS SHE WASNT GONNA SHARE SHIVAAY WITH HER LOL R U OK PINKY

This is why she was working with Kamini

ok so Kamini found Mahi off the street as a kid and original plan from like years ago was to brainwash him so she could have him be Shivaay and take the empire

lol what

this makes no sense what???

I would rather Mahi be his brother

OH SHIT PINKY AND KAMINI HAD SHIVAAY KIDNAPPED ALL THAT TIME AGO WOW TERRIBLE MOTHERRRR

Shivaay looking HELLA betrayed

Pinky changed the dna reports

WHO ARE THESE DOCTORS THAT THEY ENTRUST THEY CHANGE ALL THE DAMN DNA REPORTS FOR EVERYTHING

Pinky is snatching her own weave I and LIVING

OH SNAP CRACKLE POPSICLE 

“Ma? Duniya ki sabse khoobsurat lavs ko aap ne gaali bana di”

WOW

Hes so upset she called her own son a bastard wow

SON OF A MISTRESS omg

AHHH THAPAR

OH MY GOD GO DADIIIIIIIIIII

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE BEEN WAAITINNGGGG

Why is Pinky confused as to why everyone is upset

Wow now Shakti speaks up homeboy you are LATE

lol this bitch still says she did all this for Shivaay

HE SAYS NO U DIDNT DO THIS FOR ME U DID IT FOR U ONLY AHHHH

OH MY GOD

OH MY GOD

HE IS ROASTING HER BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONLY ONE TO INSTILL THIS NAAM KHOON KHANDAN SHIT INTO HIS LIFE 

HE CANT SEE PAST IT AND ITS ALL HER FAULT OH MY GOD

HOLY SHIT

“Aap Shivaay ki Ma hain, uski utni khushi aap ko kabhi nahi hui jitni khushi aap ko Shivaay Singh Oberoi ki Ma hain”

YOU FILLED ME WITH ALL OF THIS 

I AM LIVING FOR THIS OHHMYGOD

It was only because of his brothers that he was able to see past all this or else he would have lost Annika

SHIVAAY BABBBBBYYY I AM SO HAPPY

He says Om took the daag of being najayaz and his bade papa and badi ma all were questioned but said nothing just to protect me

well to be fair Tej didnt say anything because Jhanvi blackmailed him but ok

NOW HES GOING TO ANNIKA BBY LET THE APOLOGIES BEGIN

HE SAID IM SORRY

I CANT EVEN LOOK INTO YOUR EYES 

“Dont be so nice, Annika. Mein deserve nahi karta” LOL aint that the truth

MRS PINKY SINGH OBEROI 

BOY BYE

MERI ANNIKA

GUYS I AM ALLLLIIVVEEE

“Kaun si Ma? Ma nahi, Mrs Pinky Singh Oberoi”

You love the surname, enjoy it

YOU CAN BE THE OBEROI BAHU, SHAKTI SINGH OBEROI’S WIFE SOMEONE’S CHACHI, SOMEONE’S NANAND BUT NOT MY MOTHER”

IM FUCKING LIT

Shivaay is having a breakdown

HE LEFT

THATS RIGHT PINKY

FALL AND CRY BITCH

THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED AHHHHHHHHHH

wow im so happy with how they did that scene

All the awards to Nakuul

Shivaay calls Annika and doesnt say anything

Annika what do you mean samajh gayi ho?

LOL HOW DID YOU KNOW HE WAS AT THE GAZEEBO

oh my God these scene is so blue I literally hate this its gonna suck to gif

“Sab kuch kiya, lekin bharosa nahi kiya” SHIVAAY IM SO GLAD THE LIGHTBULB IS LIT

Well its true it wasnt only Shivaay’s fault, Annika was so stupid lmao

lol we wont hide things from each other

DONT MAKE PROMISES YOU CANT KEEP

ANNIKA CAN YOU JUST TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM AHHHH

“Mathh jao door” HAYE

O JAAAAAAAAAAANNNAAAAAAAAAAAA

Staring at that fake ass moon lmao

These flashbacks are bringing me back to life

THEYRE BOTH CRYING

HE KISSES HER HANDS

FACE TOUCHING

UGHH I LIVE FOR THIS STUFF

I love face touching oh my goodness

HHUUUGGGSSSSS

HEAD KISSES 

OH BABY

HAND HOLDING

Ab yeh kaun aa gaya

Nagini I guess because I saw spoiler photos lol

Is this when shes gonna have Annika killed....while Shivaay is there? 

MORE HAND HOLDING

wtf 

omg its the media 

LOL IS THIS NAGINI’S PLAN?

BBY WHAT WAS THIS GONNA DO

Theyre asking if he broke his engagement with Nagini

LOL ENGAGEMENT HOTI THO ZAROOR THOR DE THA 

We were never engaged, this was a lie she told you all

SHIVAAY COME FOR HER TASSLED EARRINGS BBY

this reporter has a video of the bua wtf i dont understand

in the video she says Annika is from the street

ohh theyre questioning her NKK

BBY SAYS HE DOESNT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HER NKK

FOR ME SHE IS ONLY ANNIKA

KHIDKITHOD ANNIKA

THERES NO ONE LIKE HER

SHIVAAY ACTUALLY LEARNED FROM ALL OF THIS I FEEL LIKE A PROUD MOM

SHIVAAY SAYS HES PROUD OF ANNIKA 

IM SO HAPPY

ANNIKA AND SHIVAAY WERE NEVER DIVORCED

HE NEVER FILED THE PAPERS

HOMEBOY

SHES STILL MY WIFE

ANNIKA NEVER GOT THE MARRIAGE SHE DESVERVED lol aint that the truth bby

OH MYGOD

IS HE GONNA PROPOSE

HOMIE IS ON HIS KNEES

YYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

HOLY SHITTTT

HE ASKED HER TO MARRY HIM

I WANNA CRY SO MUCH IM SO HAPPY 

i was kinda hoping he would do this privately BUT BEGGERS CAN BE CHOOSERS

SHE SAID YES

Lmao Nagini is pissed 

GRAND SHIVAAY AND ANNIKA WEDDING

OHHBABY IM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS

Nagini is leaving BYE FELICIA

Viku is consoling her...are they a thing now? Did we forget she tried to set herself on fire...

FORWARDING TEJ AND JHANVI I DONT CARE

Oberoi fam watching them on tv guys same

LOOK AT THESE NERDS WALKING IN HOLDING HANDS AHH

 All the hugs yass

OM KI SHAYRI AND HIS HAIR IS MAJESTIC CAN WE KEEP HIS HAIR LIKE THIS FOREVER THANK YOU

Lmao theyre all teasing Shivaay nerds

GAURI SUNSHINE BROUGHT CAKE

Rudy ki selfie toh banti hai yaaaar

FEED EACH OTHER CAKE GUYS THIS IS EVERYTHING

k im going straight to the precap forwarding this nonsense

Precap: 

Dadi is gonna keep them alag until the shaadi

SHIVAAY IS TRYING SO HARD

Im dying this is gonna be so FUN

[asksansweredpdf]

65 questions youre not used to

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? not until now

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? hm like a 3? i talk to spirits so sometimes i worry that they’re around

3. The person you would never want to meet? someone i used to know who things are now awkward with

4. What is your favorite word? oblong or shenanigans 

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? idk like a mulberry tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? that my hair was sticking up from my sleep

7. What shirt are you wearing? pink &  blue stipy crop

8. What do you label yourself as? flamboyant & eccentric 

9. Bright room or dark room? dark room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? finishing infinity war or reading fanfic sjdfhjlkf

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? 20

12. Who told you they loved you last? probably my old best friend dom

13. Your worst enemy? i dont really have any enemies. i try to get on with everyone or keep to myself if that’s not possible

14. What is your current desktop picture? a scene from kiki’s delivery service with a window near some greenery

15. Do you like someone? not romantically no. i only ever go to work and work romances are inappropriate

16. The last song you listened to? pussy is gof

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? id like to say someone like trump, but i think his death wouldn’t really lead to much positive change. maybe a billionaire with an heir who would do better with what they have? i’lll have to research this

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? nobody immediately springs to mind. 

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? technically i’d make someone like jeff bezos my slave and then force him to give his money to the homeless, or to pay his workers a higher wage, or something to that anti-capitalist extent. maybe i’d force major ceos to try and combat global warming if it isnt too late

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) everyone says my eyes - and i do like them, but im inclined to say my hair. i love my hair so much

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? id be super hot with colourings like zayn malik or rdj and id probably immediately jack off dsfjlkdsjfkl

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? no serious answers come to mind

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? asking people for a favour/for help. answering the phone when im not at work

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. my subway usual! white bread, chicken stips with melted cheese, cucumber, capsicum, olives, jalepenos, honey mustard sauce, salt and pepper

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? probably use it to save for a car, or to help fund dad’s trip to america/england that i got roped into having to pay for

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? i have work tomorrow :/ but i guess if i could get out of that i’d go to greece or something?

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? ive never had expensive alcohol so i’d probably get like a scotch whiskey or some usual vodka (but pre-mixed. i always puke when i mix vodka myself)

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? YEEEESSSS, um first rule would be that everyone gets food/shelter/water for free. regardless of who you are. 

29. What is your favorite expletive? used to be shit, now i think it’s just fuck.

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? my phone

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? g o d. i think i’d erase either my 18th birthday or the day we first moved into the house im living in now

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! fuck yeah i’d go live with harry styles or someone in america or england or whatever. maybe canada. canada seems cool. 

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? my mum’s father! i’ve always wanted to meet him. we have a lot in common from what i’m told (i was 2 when he died so i dont even remember him). but we’re both leos! we both love dancing and we both love music and singing (he was a musician. and music is like.....all i have). we both like cigarettes and swearing. we both had shit mothers. he seems a cool dude. he had that leo generosity and gave my mum a car and money when she needed it and i never had a good person/parent like that around and i’d love to know him and now im getting sad so. did not see that coming round the corner

34. What was your last dream about? this is going to sound weird but it was about this gross old fat dude sitting in a car next to me (i think my family started driving people around for money in my dream) and he started feeling me up and i told him off. 

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? person? artist? singer? student? worker? nope. im not good at much. 

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? yeah twice that i can recall atm. once when i was 9 months for having a cyst on my ovary, and once when i was 19 for having gastro and puking non-stop.

37. Have you ever built a snowman? nah i wish. it doesnt snow in australia

38. What is the color of your socks? im not wearing any atm but the last pair i wore were red and black deadpool ones

39. What type of music do you like? GOD okay my answer is any type of music. but it has to be good. upbeat music? 

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? vanilla or caramel

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) i dont give a shit about sports

43. Do you have any scars? yeah i have one on my lower stomach from the surgery i got for my ovary cyst, one on my right hand from opening a tin of tuna and slicing my hand immediately (i later got food poisoning), i have some embarrassing ass self harm scars on my thighs, and i think that’s it? 

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? well i graduate uni in just over a week (next saturday) and i have no clue. at the moment i just want to get a job that has a set amount of hours and a set/steady pay and doesnt make me anxious. a desk job that i’m not terrible at. then i can move out. and once im moved out i wont be in survival mode, and maybe then i can start dreaming. but for now im desperate enough to not even have dreams or wants. 

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? i would make me more assertive and less anxious. and a bit more funny. a bit more like an aries or a leo. i think i will be more like this when im moved out and secure with a consistent job and consistent living space. i havent had that for like 6 years.

46. Are you reliable? very

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? god what a question. where should i work? and should i get a motorbike or a car? and id just ask for general advice

48. Do you hold grudges? absolutely. to be fair, i consider myself a very understanding and fair person, so it takes a lot to get me mad. but once im there, it’s usually justified and hard to change my mind. 

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? like maybe a bird and a lion. imagine a flying lion. that’d be sick

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? out of what immediately springs to mind i have 2 equally strong contenders: 1) me, introducing myself to a worker on the first day at my job - “hi, i’m ____ by the way. i don’t think i’ve introduced myself to you yet” “i know.” “oh! sorry haha im just really bad with names and faces haha” "yeah. we went to school together. *walks away*  2) coworker: so how many babies do you think we’ll have to sacrifice to get a bigger back room? me: ........at least 1 million coworker: 1 million? wow! i was thinking like 7! me: 7? wow i really went overboard there. but wait! what counts as a baby? are there age or weight restrictions or? coworker: hm i think it’s like anyone under the age of 4 me: oh under 4? so if you kill a 5 year old and sacrifice it, then you’ve just wasted a kill and it doesn’t count? coworker: yeah pretty much.....i’ve done that a few times, actually. their parents were not happy me: yeah i’d imagine just as much. imagine having to have that conversation with their parents like ‘uhh sorry about that’ coworker: yeah and it was all for nothing too

51. Are you a good liar? yes, when i know the people and situation well. i usually plan out my lies in advance, but for whatever reason im actually a better liar when im thinking on my feet and improvising the lies. have no idea how or why. 

52. How long could you go without talking? fucking forever. i’m great at talking, a very good conversationalist. but fuck i love not having to talk to people. it’s so much effort. 

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? my mum cut a fringe for me when i was 12. 

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? all the time! i love baking

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? nope

56. What do you like on your toast? vegemite, egg, honey & peanut butter, sometimes jam (mostly when im high)

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? captain phasma

58. What would be you dream car? a 59 cadillac, or most ferraris 

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. i dont usually sing in the shower, but i do enjoy a good shower dance routine

60. Do you believe in aliens? for sure! our universe is too huge and constantly expanding for there to be just us

61. Do you often read your horoscope? god you dont even want to know how much i fucking love astrology. astrology is my mind. it occupies about 1/3 of all my thoughts and i immediately try to figure out people’s signs within the first .... maybe 5 seconds of meeting them.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? maybe p or r or v

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? dinosaurs

64. What do you think about babies? cute when they’re not mine and i can give them back to their mothers after 5 minutes

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

[samanthasroberts]

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Confessions Of A Mid-20’s Drama Queen

Welcome back to another week where I sit through my own personal hell, aka , and try not to put myself into an alcohol-induced coma. And shoutout to all the keyboard warriors who love to type shit in the commentsyall take this show way too seriously.

We start with Mona and Emily discussing Charlotte, who apparently stood Mona up the night of the murder. What kind of loser gets stood up by another chick at a shitty diner?

Emily is like and Monas like, uh no? I feel like thats pretty much the only answer you can give at that point. Emily figures that Mona changed her mind in the trial so that Charlotte would be out of jail and Mona could get to her, which is like real far-fetched.

Mona is like and OKAY thats a line straight out of .

Chris Hanson: Did you know that this was a 13 year old girl? Mona: I, uh, just came to talk to her.

Monas like *what would you do if your son was at home, cryin all alone on the bedroom floor.* and Ems like Monas like, well even if I wanted to kill her, she fucking stood me up so yeah. Of course, this whole conversation is overheard by A.

Aria is like,lets tell the police it wasnt me at the diner! Arias really seen some shit lately. She got burnt and questioned by the police. All Hannas had done to her is getting shitty room service food with a cryptic note. Spencer is like,

Lucas is back. Goddammit. Anyways, he overhears Hanna talking to weird ass Jordan on the phone, and is like Hannas like, Where are you gonna seat him Han? No one wants to sit next to the virginal weird kid from high school. You cant just mix the band geeks with the Plastics, thats not how this works.

Besides, there is this scenario:

Priest: Speak now or forever hold your pe- Lucas: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hanna is like, . Wear those ties Lucas, you look like a second place winner at a science fair. He tells Hanna that hes thinking of buying some factory and giving Rosewood a second chance. LOL rookie mistake.

Ali and Snaggletooth are being sexually aggressive in some shit bed and breakfast somewhere in bumfuck nowhere, East Coast. The Ali from Season 3 would have been honeymooning in fucking Paris rn. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Speaking of falling, Ali trips on her skanky heel and takes a tumble down the stairs, effectively knocking herself out. OKAY, did I not set that up just perfectly?

Alis in the hospital with a concussion, and Snaggle is like, you need to stay in the hospital. Shes like and its like, because thats how injuries work dumbass. The manager of the shit hotel is like and its like duh you know that shit is tampered with.

Ali: I was really happy before I fell, maybe this is my karma Snaggle: Thats not how the Universe works

ARE YOU SURE? Because pretty sure its an established fact that what goes up, must come down. Also, Ali its not karma, you just clearly dont know how to put one foot in front of the other and walk like a normal fucking human.

Snaggle is like, its an accident and he would know all about those, since his face looks like it was a victim of a tragic lawn mower accident. Ali decides to text her friends a selfie of her in the hospital, because concussion photoshoots, so hot right now.

All the Liars are like . They have 3 days to give up the murderer, because A is a psycho. All the girls are shit talking Mona and Hanna comes to her defense, because Hanna is like, such a good friend.

Aria and Ezra are getting ready to go to a dinner with their boss and Ezras talking about how he doesnt like the book ending or some shit. Arias like and that shit is about to go from an Ernest Hemingway to a really quick with Ezras freaky self.

Hanna goes to visit Ali in the hospital and Ali tells her she is going back to Rosewood when she can gtfo of this hospital. Ali has flowers all over the room, because apparently people like her, wtf?, and Ali says that they are all from Snaggle.

Of course, Hanna is looking at all the flowers and sees a very creepy card that has pictures of a staircase, and all of them on it. Either Snaggle is one fucked up dude, or A is just like, really a dick. Honestly, probs both. Obvi, Hanna steals the card.

Emily facetimes Spencer a video of Mona and Sara Harveys body guard dude chatting it up. Weve all seen , Im expecting some bodyguard three-way action ASAP. Also, how did Emily even remember that body guard? I watch this show every fucking week and make it a point to write down every flaw they have, and even I didnt remember this. Wow, I need to get it together.

Also, them talking looks like any relationship I have ever had: Mona talking shit and the dude sitting there looking awkward. Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard when he leaves.

Back to Snaggle and Hans. Hanna is like, And Snaggle is like, Im sure you said the same thing about that B and B, you human chipmunk. Hes like and its like cough, cough, lesbianssssss.

Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard and act like idiots on crack and pretend to hit the bodyguards car. Hes like uhhhh no its fine, and Spencer somehow manages to get information on the papers he is holding. I have seen better body guarding by the fucking preteens in Project X. Seriously who is this dude?

Spencer learns that the documents our shit security guard has are blueprints to Radley, because of fucking course. Do they just hand out blueprints willy nilly in this town? God I hate myself every time I watch this stupid fucking show.

Aria is reading Ezras newest chapter and it flashes back to a conversation with Ezra and Nicole. Ezra is begging Nicole to come with him, but shes like

Anyways, Ezra goes to his typical EZRA MAD, EZRA SMASH mode and basically yells at her and leaves fucking pissed off. And yeah, thats the last time he saw his girlfriend. One girlfriend you took advantage of when she was a teenager, the other you let get kidnapped by terrorists. Let that soak in.

Hes like , and Arias like,

Emily follows the bodyguard to a fucking ice cream truck? Wtf? And hes just casually sitting there, licking a Drumstick, when Sara Harvey drives up and gets something from him. Wait a second, she cant text and grip shit because of her hands, but she can drive? The streets of Rosewood are not safe. Maybe she was the girl who tried to run over Emily at the diner. She wasnt really trying to run her over, she was just making a very sloppy three point turn.

Hanna shows Caleb the staircase card. Caleb is like why did you come to me? And Hanna is like They decide to call As bluff, because that plan has worked every time before.

Spencer is on the phone with Emily, when she is greeted by her boyfriend and his ex. What a time to be alive. They act super weird, and then Hanna makes up some bullshit story about how she killed Charlotte. She starts crying to Spencer and Spencer is like YOOOOO THIS IS HEAVY SHIT.

Then Hannas like PSYCH and tells Caleb Well thats the stupidest shit Ive ever heard. Caleb is like and its like NO WTF HANNA DOESNT KNOW JACK SHIT. LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. NOTHING. SHE KNOWS NOTHING. Why doesnt anyone understand this?

Aria and Ezra are at dinner with the editor and shes like, l Arias like and Ezra is like NAH I GOT U FAM, Ill have it to you by next week. Ezras that dick in every college class who votes against the deadline extension. There is a special place in hell for you.

Hanna and Caleb are pleading their case to Emily and Emilys like And for once, I agree with her. Spencer backs up Caleb and Hanna and is like, *under her breath* . This sounds like every parental argument.

Emily/Dad: We cant support our daughter moving in with her boyfriend Spencer/Mom: We need to support her, because if we dont shell work against us. And I want grandbabies!

Hanna is like and grabs Calebs hand very lovingly. Spencers like and its all v awkward. Spencer does what I would 100% do in this situationmake snarky jealous comments and guzzle a shit ton of red wine. I am Spencer, we are all Spencer (without the bangs, obviously.)

Emily also suggests they visit Ye Old Lizard King Toby and let him know about this whole shindig. Again, this idea never works out.

The editor lady tells her that Liam isnt on the team anymore and Aria is like, uhhhh okay. So I guess that relationship is pretty much dead. Good talk.

Spencer flashes back to a night with Caleb in Europe, talking about art and his foster homes or some shit. Yawn. For once, Spencer actually looks good in a nice dress. You did okay PLL wardrobe, dont get too excited over your one time you didnt fail.

Its a pretty pointless flashback, except it shows major sexual tension between Spencer and Caleb in Europe, which is like right after they both broke up with their significant others. See, I told you it was pointless?

Caleb goes to drop Hanna off at Lucas place and he asks Caleb on a very awkward man date. Below are the actual quotes:

Lucas: Do you lunch? Caleb: Uh, yeah I lunch. Lucas: Lets lunch!

A whole portion of dialogue that could have been summed up to we should get lunch sometime. Fuck yourself, Freeform.

Lucas shows Hanna the factory he wants to build and is like Shes like If she even THINKS her shit is going to be better than Clothes Over Bros, shes straight trippin. Lucas is like Bitches love companies.

Okay my high school friends will barely buy me a beer, let alone give me a fucking factory.

Ali has a dream of some kind and sees her mom, dressed in a fugly green top and with some bushy ass hair. I know they have leave-in conditioner in heaven, you lazy bitch. She tells Ali that Snaggle will take care of her and that she loves her, yadda yadda. For a loving mother, she also looks like she lowkey wants to strangle the shit out of Ali.

Mona and Sara meet up, the two sketchiest bitches on the block. Sara looks like Miley Cyrus if she ate herself and took makeup inspiration from a raccoon. Seriously there is like 6 pounds of eyeliner on this bitch.

Mona is like and Sara is like Sara is like, . Oh stfu Sara. You look like a balloon shaped like Nick Carter and your only friend is a dude who eats ice cream on a street corner like a fucking poverty stricken 6-year-old.

Ezra and Aria are having tea like a bunch of pussies and Aria drops the A bomb on him. She goes from 0 to 100 real quick and is like I HAVE TO END THIS.

Back to Ali and Snaggle. Lucky us. Ali tells Snaggle to go to his conference in Chicago and that when he gets back theyll resume their daily programing of boning each other (what a fucking gross mental picture.)

Caleb and Hanna present their shit idea to the group, who all agreeits a shit idea. Caleb is like . Hes getting awfully close to Hanna and Spencer looks like she is about to cut a bitch.

Caleb: This isnt a cheer-ocracy Spencer: Youre being a real cheer-tator, Caleb!

The plan starts by Hanna sending a message to A saying leave my friends alone and then a Carly Rae Jepsen-esqe version of Call Me comes on, while the binary code of her text shows up on the screen. A gets the text of that dumbass admitting to murder. Its about to go down.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

Source: http://allofbeer.com/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/12/17/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/

[adambstingus]

Pretty Little Liars Recap: Confessions Of A Mid-20’s Drama Queen

Welcome back to another week where I sit through my own personal hell, aka , and try not to put myself into an alcohol-induced coma. And shoutout to all the keyboard warriors who love to type shit in the commentsyall take this show way too seriously.

We start with Mona and Emily discussing Charlotte, who apparently stood Mona up the night of the murder. What kind of loser gets stood up by another chick at a shitty diner?

Emily is like and Monas like, uh no? I feel like thats pretty much the only answer you can give at that point. Emily figures that Mona changed her mind in the trial so that Charlotte would be out of jail and Mona could get to her, which is like real far-fetched.

Mona is like and OKAY thats a line straight out of .

Chris Hanson: Did you know that this was a 13 year old girl? Mona: I, uh, just came to talk to her.

Monas like *what would you do if your son was at home, cryin all alone on the bedroom floor.* and Ems like Monas like, well even if I wanted to kill her, she fucking stood me up so yeah. Of course, this whole conversation is overheard by A.

Aria is like,lets tell the police it wasnt me at the diner! Arias really seen some shit lately. She got burnt and questioned by the police. All Hannas had done to her is getting shitty room service food with a cryptic note. Spencer is like,

Lucas is back. Goddammit. Anyways, he overhears Hanna talking to weird ass Jordan on the phone, and is like Hannas like, Where are you gonna seat him Han? No one wants to sit next to the virginal weird kid from high school. You cant just mix the band geeks with the Plastics, thats not how this works.

Besides, there is this scenario:

Priest: Speak now or forever hold your pe- Lucas: MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Hanna is like, . Wear those ties Lucas, you look like a second place winner at a science fair. He tells Hanna that hes thinking of buying some factory and giving Rosewood a second chance. LOL rookie mistake.

Ali and Snaggletooth are being sexually aggressive in some shit bed and breakfast somewhere in bumfuck nowhere, East Coast. The Ali from Season 3 would have been honeymooning in fucking Paris rn. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

Speaking of falling, Ali trips on her skanky heel and takes a tumble down the stairs, effectively knocking herself out. OKAY, did I not set that up just perfectly?

Alis in the hospital with a concussion, and Snaggle is like, you need to stay in the hospital. Shes like and its like, because thats how injuries work dumbass. The manager of the shit hotel is like and its like duh you know that shit is tampered with.

Ali: I was really happy before I fell, maybe this is my karma Snaggle: Thats not how the Universe works

ARE YOU SURE? Because pretty sure its an established fact that what goes up, must come down. Also, Ali its not karma, you just clearly dont know how to put one foot in front of the other and walk like a normal fucking human.

Snaggle is like, its an accident and he would know all about those, since his face looks like it was a victim of a tragic lawn mower accident. Ali decides to text her friends a selfie of her in the hospital, because concussion photoshoots, so hot right now.

All the Liars are like . They have 3 days to give up the murderer, because A is a psycho. All the girls are shit talking Mona and Hanna comes to her defense, because Hanna is like, such a good friend.

Aria and Ezra are getting ready to go to a dinner with their boss and Ezras talking about how he doesnt like the book ending or some shit. Arias like and that shit is about to go from an Ernest Hemingway to a really quick with Ezras freaky self.

Hanna goes to visit Ali in the hospital and Ali tells her she is going back to Rosewood when she can gtfo of this hospital. Ali has flowers all over the room, because apparently people like her, wtf?, and Ali says that they are all from Snaggle.

Of course, Hanna is looking at all the flowers and sees a very creepy card that has pictures of a staircase, and all of them on it. Either Snaggle is one fucked up dude, or A is just like, really a dick. Honestly, probs both. Obvi, Hanna steals the card.

Emily facetimes Spencer a video of Mona and Sara Harveys body guard dude chatting it up. Weve all seen , Im expecting some bodyguard three-way action ASAP. Also, how did Emily even remember that body guard? I watch this show every fucking week and make it a point to write down every flaw they have, and even I didnt remember this. Wow, I need to get it together.

Also, them talking looks like any relationship I have ever had: Mona talking shit and the dude sitting there looking awkward. Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard when he leaves.

Back to Snaggle and Hans. Hanna is like, And Snaggle is like, Im sure you said the same thing about that B and B, you human chipmunk. Hes like and its like cough, cough, lesbianssssss.

Spencer and Emily follow the bodyguard and act like idiots on crack and pretend to hit the bodyguards car. Hes like uhhhh no its fine, and Spencer somehow manages to get information on the papers he is holding. I have seen better body guarding by the fucking preteens in Project X. Seriously who is this dude?

Spencer learns that the documents our shit security guard has are blueprints to Radley, because of fucking course. Do they just hand out blueprints willy nilly in this town? God I hate myself every time I watch this stupid fucking show.

Aria is reading Ezras newest chapter and it flashes back to a conversation with Ezra and Nicole. Ezra is begging Nicole to come with him, but shes like

Anyways, Ezra goes to his typical EZRA MAD, EZRA SMASH mode and basically yells at her and leaves fucking pissed off. And yeah, thats the last time he saw his girlfriend. One girlfriend you took advantage of when she was a teenager, the other you let get kidnapped by terrorists. Let that soak in.

Hes like , and Arias like,

Emily follows the bodyguard to a fucking ice cream truck? Wtf? And hes just casually sitting there, licking a Drumstick, when Sara Harvey drives up and gets something from him. Wait a second, she cant text and grip shit because of her hands, but she can drive? The streets of Rosewood are not safe. Maybe she was the girl who tried to run over Emily at the diner. She wasnt really trying to run her over, she was just making a very sloppy three point turn.

Hanna shows Caleb the staircase card. Caleb is like why did you come to me? And Hanna is like They decide to call As bluff, because that plan has worked every time before.

Spencer is on the phone with Emily, when she is greeted by her boyfriend and his ex. What a time to be alive. They act super weird, and then Hanna makes up some bullshit story about how she killed Charlotte. She starts crying to Spencer and Spencer is like YOOOOO THIS IS HEAVY SHIT.

Then Hannas like PSYCH and tells Caleb Well thats the stupidest shit Ive ever heard. Caleb is like and its like NO WTF HANNA DOESNT KNOW JACK SHIT. LITERALLY ANYTHING AT ALL. NOTHING. SHE KNOWS NOTHING. Why doesnt anyone understand this?

Aria and Ezra are at dinner with the editor and shes like, l Arias like and Ezra is like NAH I GOT U FAM, Ill have it to you by next week. Ezras that dick in every college class who votes against the deadline extension. There is a special place in hell for you.

Hanna and Caleb are pleading their case to Emily and Emilys like And for once, I agree with her. Spencer backs up Caleb and Hanna and is like, *under her breath* . This sounds like every parental argument.

Emily/Dad: We cant support our daughter moving in with her boyfriend Spencer/Mom: We need to support her, because if we dont shell work against us. And I want grandbabies!

Hanna is like and grabs Calebs hand very lovingly. Spencers like and its all v awkward. Spencer does what I would 100% do in this situationmake snarky jealous comments and guzzle a shit ton of red wine. I am Spencer, we are all Spencer (without the bangs, obviously.)

Emily also suggests they visit Ye Old Lizard King Toby and let him know about this whole shindig. Again, this idea never works out.

The editor lady tells her that Liam isnt on the team anymore and Aria is like, uhhhh okay. So I guess that relationship is pretty much dead. Good talk.

Spencer flashes back to a night with Caleb in Europe, talking about art and his foster homes or some shit. Yawn. For once, Spencer actually looks good in a nice dress. You did okay PLL wardrobe, dont get too excited over your one time you didnt fail.

Its a pretty pointless flashback, except it shows major sexual tension between Spencer and Caleb in Europe, which is like right after they both broke up with their significant others. See, I told you it was pointless?

Caleb goes to drop Hanna off at Lucas place and he asks Caleb on a very awkward man date. Below are the actual quotes:

Lucas: Do you lunch? Caleb: Uh, yeah I lunch. Lucas: Lets lunch!

A whole portion of dialogue that could have been summed up to we should get lunch sometime. Fuck yourself, Freeform.

Lucas shows Hanna the factory he wants to build and is like Shes like If she even THINKS her shit is going to be better than Clothes Over Bros, shes straight trippin. Lucas is like Bitches love companies.

Okay my high school friends will barely buy me a beer, let alone give me a fucking factory.

Ali has a dream of some kind and sees her mom, dressed in a fugly green top and with some bushy ass hair. I know they have leave-in conditioner in heaven, you lazy bitch. She tells Ali that Snaggle will take care of her and that she loves her, yadda yadda. For a loving mother, she also looks like she lowkey wants to strangle the shit out of Ali.

Mona and Sara meet up, the two sketchiest bitches on the block. Sara looks like Miley Cyrus if she ate herself and took makeup inspiration from a raccoon. Seriously there is like 6 pounds of eyeliner on this bitch.

Mona is like and Sara is like Sara is like, . Oh stfu Sara. You look like a balloon shaped like Nick Carter and your only friend is a dude who eats ice cream on a street corner like a fucking poverty stricken 6-year-old.

Ezra and Aria are having tea like a bunch of pussies and Aria drops the A bomb on him. She goes from 0 to 100 real quick and is like I HAVE TO END THIS.

Back to Ali and Snaggle. Lucky us. Ali tells Snaggle to go to his conference in Chicago and that when he gets back theyll resume their daily programing of boning each other (what a fucking gross mental picture.)

Caleb and Hanna present their shit idea to the group, who all agreeits a shit idea. Caleb is like . Hes getting awfully close to Hanna and Spencer looks like she is about to cut a bitch.

Caleb: This isnt a cheer-ocracy Spencer: Youre being a real cheer-tator, Caleb!

The plan starts by Hanna sending a message to A saying leave my friends alone and then a Carly Rae Jepsen-esqe version of Call Me comes on, while the binary code of her text shows up on the screen. A gets the text of that dumbass admitting to murder. Its about to go down.

div.body_middle_part_right .bodypart:nth-child(n+2), a.prevBody{display: none;}

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/pretty-little-liars-recap-confessions-of-a-mid-20s-drama-queen/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/181188109727

[deutsche-seehund]

29/05/2017

Somewhere outside Namibia

The past few days seemed to have passed so quickly, yet at the same time going through it, it felt like it would take forever to go by. We arrived at our first port, Walvis Bay – Namibia, on the 26th of May morning, only to be told to go to anchorage because reasons. So we basically anchored off at Anchorage number 3 or whatever it was called, because there wasnt anyone there save for this one other multi purpose who seemed to have only 4 containers loaded. 1 on each corner of the upper deck/ hatch covers (2 forward, port and starboard and 2 in front of accomodation, also port and starboard). Anyway, we spent the rest of the day resting up after dropping anchor (9 on deck) because once we berthed it was all hands on deck. For the AB and OS at least anyway. I was relegated to gangway watch from 1730 to 2330, and conversely 0530 to 1130. But prior to my first gangway watch, i was stuck in the ship office with chief answering to the beck and call of the various parties boarding the ship. Immigrations, customs, port inspectors, police, health inspectors etc etc. Sometimes it feels like we are at their mercy. They can just call for you like calling some waiter or waitress at a restuarant.

“You, come here. I want a copy of your ship particulars, NIL list, stores decleration, crew list, vaccination list.” and barely a few minutes later after having to sort through what seemed like a million pieces of paper locating all these documents he calls again and asks where are the papers. All this while i have to serve him with a smile water and soft drinks. I guess thats the price we must pay for doing what we do.

Also, i had my first taste of the 'compliments' system. The immigration officers (if i remember correctly) asked chief about certain 'presents'. With a sheepish look he replied to hold on for a moment while he checked if there was anything. Eventually we handed over a carton of cigarettes to them. That was the only instance i saw at this port because i had to go start my duty at the gangway.  

The stevedores are another group of people entirely. This port didnt seem too bad, but there was this one guy that kept trying to get things from me/us. Water, some form of drinks, cigarettes. Hell he even wanted my boiler suit and jacket. Also quite surprising some other guy asked me for our ship's pass holder, which is to say the plastic holder and lanyard. He said it was good to hold his port pass. Well, i had more in the ship office, but they were spares for us and in the pass box i didnt have any so i just said thats all we have and sorry.

What i dont understand throughout this first stay, and for sure all the future stays in ports is, that why do people want to take things from the ships when they, rightfully (or not) should be giving us things because we are out at sea with no chance of resupply till we get to a port. I was told stories that inspectors would come on board and take cartons of juices, yes cartons, because they never had it before or they like the taste or whatever clown reasons they have. I mean, is it really fair to people on the ship? You take our provisions and other things and what are we left with when we leave port? Especially when we are not resupplying at that port. We go out to sea with reduced food and drink for ourselves? If we had to go back to Singapore from Walvis Bay, lets say (because thats the journey i know, since i just did it) its 22 days or so out in the open sea. And we run out of food? Drinks? Then again thats just my thinking. Who am i anyway? Im just a cadet on a ship for the first time.

Anyway enough of that. The 3 days we spent at port was both long and short, as i have mentioned. It feels short now that we've set sail again (and that i finally feel a bit more rested to sit down and spend time writing these things out), but standing at the gangway doing duty for 6 hours straight felt like an eternity. And thats all there was for my port stay. 6 hours on duty, 6 hours rest. Which usually meant sleeping, no matter what was the time. I didnt get to go out on shore because no one from my 'shift' wanted to go. So i can safely say that the furthest ive been in Namibia was the 4th step on my gangway from my ship.

Also, whoever said that Africa is hot, should actually go to africa. At least the southern part. It was so cold my goodness. It was below 15 degrees everyday we were there, and dropped to anything from 12 to 14 degrees at night. Which isnt so bad actually, except for the fact that the wind will absolutely kill you if you dont dress warmly. Which for us meant long johns, boiler suit and thick jackets. The first night, where i did not have my jacket was the absolute worst night of them all. The wind was relentless in its battering and i had to resort to hiding in the space between the watertight door and inner door to the ships accomodation area. It wasnt that bad in the day, with the sun warming up the air a bit. But i still wore the jacket anyway, simply for the fact that i can hide from the winds this way. Also, it was really foggy/misty, like everyday. Usually clears around noon-ish or so, then picks up again at night. I would delve into meteorology but ill spare everyone and myself included for trying to think about the causes.

For the port itself, it was quite a small port i think. I mean, you cant compare it to Singapore/Shanghai/any top 5 ports you want to put here, but still it feels smaller than what i would have expected it to be. There were maybe like 20 berths in total? And even the cranes are general purpose, none of them were specially fitted for containers. So that meant that if you were unloading containers first, they would attach this special fixture onto the chain block of the crane and when in position, the stevedores would make sure that the container was firmly attached before lifting it off the ship and onto the jetty. Even then, it didnt look anything like what was happening in Singapore (ive been into pasir panjang thrice now. Basically there would be the trailer waiting to pick up the container straight off the crane and drive off, with the next one waiting behind). Instead the container was lifted off the ship and onto the jetty straight away, and just before placing it on the jetty, the stevedores would again remove the twist locks from the bottom section of the containers (twist locks are for holding the container in place while at sea. Its basically a locking mechanism that makes sure that the container stays in place). Then after they check the container number and stuff, they would get another vehicle, like a special forklift cum crane thing that would pick it up and place it onto a trailer that basically just arrived from wherever. In singapore, this process would be maybe 5 minutes start to finish. Here its essentially double the time at least. Then once all the containers that are supposed to be unloaded are unloaded, the crane brings the chain block down to the jetty level, and the stevedores remove the attachment and replaces it with a suitable replacement as to what cargo would be picked up next, i.e. Slings, chain slings, hooks etc etc for picking up the bulk/general cargo. We unloaded quite a bit of cargo here. We unloaded all of the containers on number 4 hatch, and i think some from number 2 hatch as well, and basically emptied out hold 4. We also did some sketchy balls to the walls discharging from hatch 2. Because there was cargo on the deck/hatch cover, on the tween deck and also in the lower hold of number 2. Luckily they were all on the forward part. So we opened up hatch 2 forward part after discharging the cargo on the deck, then discharged the cargo on the tween deck forward in number 2, then removed the pontoon, and then discharged the cargo from the lower hold forward section also. It was pretty risky as there were trucks and some transformers in the hold, to be precise it was 16 trucks. Dont ask me about number of transformers, i dont know. Anyway from the cargo we are carrying, it seems a lot of it is being used to build a power plant and also for construction (trucks w/ trailers). I am quite happy to be a part of this industry for this reason.

We may not be directly involved, but we somewhat enable countries to grow because they are able to get the goods that they need to progress. It may seem somewhat abstract, like what has a shipping company, whose interest is making the most money out of every space they can find on the ship, got to do with the growth of a country?

Chief said this to me before, and i had somewhat similar thoughts about it before (its probably not exactly what he said, since this was like one or two weeks ago and it was about cargo damage or something);

If the cargo doesnt get to its destination on time or in working order, we are affecting someone's livelihood directly or indirectly. We are part of a long chain of a process, and no matter how small it may seem that it is, what happens to the cargo when we are transporting it affects what will happen when we deliver it to the cargo owner.

If the cargo owner is shipping a single transformer that is critical for the project, and it gets damaged because of loading/unloading/sea spray/water leaking into cargo hold or literally anything else that can damage it, it would directly affect its ability to carry out the job. If this transformer was all thats left to power up a whole town or something (dont hang me on this i actually am not sure what a transformer's purpose is), and because it was damaged, it means that the town would not get the power that it needs.

So yeah. Thats one of the reasons why I wanted to do this as well. As small and abstract a part as it may seem, I can take solace to the fact that I am part of a global industry that connects and enables people from different countries to work together.

At least on this multipurpose vessel. Im not too sure about containers yet.

Anyway when we were in port, 2nd officer went out on shore leave and i think at the request of the captain, purchased sim cards enough for 16 people or something like that. The cards gave us 1gb of data and like 500mb or something for dedicated whatsapp messages. And smses, but who uses sms nowadays right /shrug.

So we were able to actually contact people at home and stuff. Which was nice. It helped a lot during the ungodly long hours of duty. I spent most of my data i think downloading my spotify playlists and using instagram, telegram, facebook and stuff. I still had like 300mb of whatsapp data but i dont really use whatsapp that much. I spent a lot of the data sending some pictures and videos that i had that werent already transferred to my laptop.

And that's that. My 3 days in my first ever port in this new journey. Hopefully the time would pass a bit faster now that we are getting into the swing of things.

Im in the process of deciding a new tumblr url, for the purposes of this journal or whatever you would call it.

Now that im back in the open sea with no data, i cant translate properly into german since my german is absolutely shit for all, but i was thinking of salty sea dog, which i guess would translate to something like saltzliches see hund. Oh well. Or i could just go with Deutsche See Hund. Im still deciding.