#we will ignore my mindless rambling lol

[girlwitharabbitheart]

obsessed with the idea of a Merlin reincarnation!fic where they’re all back as long suffering millennials.

Merlin’s sense of humor is now as dry as the Sahara desert. Arthur is a grumpy golden retriever (they exist okay, I have one lol) and Morgana and Gwen have been BFFs and platonic soulmates for years. Like they are besties forever okay

So Merlin gets this hysterical idea to buy Arthur a bear for his birthday. One that has a teeny little crown and sings “I just can’t wait to be king” from the lion king when you squeeze it. Because they do have some memories, and like. Those are traumatic as fuck most of the time what with the war and the death and the betrayal and shit and like. They’ve collected decided to say fuck it to destiny and do their own thing this time. But anyway. Merlin buys this bear because it’s FUNNY AS FUCK and Gwen is like 90% of his impulse control but she and Morgana ALSO think it’s funny. So he’s like 🤷🏻‍♀️ and buys it 😂

And then they take him out to dinner, like usual, cause of course he had to be born on the shortest day of the year and it’s dark at 4pm and like. There’s not much else to do. But the three of them are totally not subtle and Merlin can barely contain himself so Arthur is immediately suspicious. (look he remembers the year that Merlin and Morgana were both really into paganism, even without magic this time around, and that birthday had been a blur of embarrassment) so he’s super cautious when he takes the gift bag. And pulls out the bear. And then. He’s just really confused.

But it starts singing, of course, and Merlin loses his tenuous hold on his composure.

And they’re all just completely overcome with laughter while Arthur pouts. “MERlin,” he hisses dramatically as he kicks Morgana half heartedly under the table, “what. The fuck.”

“Well fine I can return it if you don’t want it.” Merlin grins, reaching for the bear and narrowly avoiding a disaster with the table centerpiece.

Arthur immediately snatches it back with a haughty frown. “…I didn’t say I don’t want it.”

And then Merlin is wheezing too, leaning on Gwen for support, and Morgana looks like she might faint from oxygen deprivation at any moment.

Arthur roles his eyes, tucks the bear into his side and drops his head into his hands. “I literally cannot take you three anywhere.”

When Merlin finally makes it to bed that night, after they’d taken the girls home and Arthur had stumbled upstairs with his spoils and Merlin had wandered into the kitchen for a cup of tea, the bear is perched between their pillows. Arthur is already asleep, curled on his side with the blanket drawn up to his shoulders. Something unbearably fond takes root in Merlin’s chest then, blooming out from his heart. And he he’s careful not to disturb the bear as he climbs under the covers and fits himself to Arthur’s side.

[katiekatdragon27]

To my other followers: I am so sorry.

To my two new followers: *comes out with silver platter* Here! Eat uuuuupppp~~~~

This! *slams fists on table then slams face on table* This GODFORSAKEN MOVIE HAS ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY I'M NOT JOKING.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT KIND OF "RECLAIMING MY CHILDHOOD TRAUMA" MINDEST MY BRAIN WAS ON BUT THE OBSESSION WITH THIS PIECE IF MEDIA IS ACTUALLY SCARING ME-

Most stuff below. Lots of rambling.

So. Flatland. It's a good book, and an amazing f*cking movie. I love this goddamned movie so much bro. It's not even like a "good" good movie I just really like it for no reason.

Some lore I have with this book, since I want to talk about it.

I watched this movie the first time when I was in 6th grade. It scared me so bad that I had nightmares about it for a week. I hated the style of the 2D world and was so scared about the amount of murder that I psychologically blocked it all out.

Now in the present (as an adult in college), my friend brought up the movie for us to watch during a movie night. I was way more excited to watch it than I thought I would be (cuz of my previous encounter with it and wanting to "reclaim" the movie), but we only got 4 minutes in before my other friends got bored and decided to watch something else. I sorta dropped it for a bit after that before @/goosesartblog posted their ONE - Flatland crossover and 10000 emotions flew over me. I then proceeded to watch it with my siblings, who also did not care about the movie.

Now, it has become a lifestyle of watching it every single day. Every. Single. Day. It's bad. I can't stop.

And it's on YouTube for free.

AND the book is on YouTube as an audiobook AND the actual PDF book is just there to read.

PLEASE. I NEED PEOPLE TO NOT BE NORMAL WITH ME.

Anyways, actual relevant doodles. These characters are A. Sphere (the objectively best character idgaf) and Carlton Cube(?). I saw something about them being John-locked and thought it was really funny. Also, I saw a meme about the two getting Starbucks or smth during the week I lingered, so here lol.

Some more doodles of concept stuff. Actual A. Square art and some style testing, Hex doodle, and more A. Sphere bc I love him so much. His ass is gay idk if you think I'm wrong just look at him.

Silly little idea I had about if Spherious *(the sphere from the other Flatland movie) and A. Sphere were in the same universe. It's unlikely, but I think Spherious would be the Messiah of 2000 and A. Sphere is the Messiah of 3000. They met at some point where their lives overlapped, and Spherious tried to give A. Sphere advice, to which he was completely ignored. A. Sphere's a bratty teen here and Spherious is a grandpa. They treat their apostles very differently.

Another silly idea I had was that when A. Sphere "died", he was actually picked up by a 4D being named A. Tesseract. He stays with her until the war is over in his dimension, and he is able to see A. Square one last time during his hallucination (that's why A. Sphere's innards are seen). Also also, A. Sphere learns how to treat people better b/c of A. Tesseract and the 4th dimensions' more liberal views on expression and gender. Development for the stupid shiny solid.

Thank you for looking at this mindless rambling. If anyone knows of more Flatland media, please send it to me I'm starving. Expect more, and have a great day :)

[gaykey]

I’ve mostly been a lurker, I just wanted to thank you for your posts these past couple of days. as a poc shawol it felt cathartic and comforting somehow that I wasn’t the only one completely shaken and feeling all embarrassed about how intensely I was reacting to this whole thing. Also wanted to say that it’s okay to feel conflicted about wanting to continue enjoying their updates. I’m a mess too after their apologies, especially when I feel like I’ll be betraying a huge part of myself if I unquestioningly jumped back into it all, even though I want to love them like I used to. infuriatingly, like key himself, I might randomly feel the urge to smack him or taemin upside the head in the future. It’s what I feel rn when their faces come up in my feed, and it’s so weird, it makes me so mad at myself, because they’re not my friends and I shouldn’t be feeling any of this! Maybe I should just applaud and wow them for the amazing artists that they are, and dial back on watching the rest of their content. I’m very glad they apologized, it did feel good, maybe, to see that. I don’t know anymore. I just need a lot and lot of time to settle into myself again. At least all this made me take a long hard look at all the behaviors I’ve unthinkingly picked up to emotionally regulate. I hate that a lot of the fandom are using similar conflicted feelings as an excuse to downplay what they did, and people’s reaction to their comments. to all the fans saying no one’s perfect, and poc like me are overreacting, I should get over myself now they’ve apologized- you’re absolutely right, no one’s perfect, and if I can’t find it in me to move past it, I suppose I wasn't a ‘true shawol’, and I should get the hell out when I can. I’m riding that emotional rollercoaster and feeling exhausted, so sorry for the long mindless rambling. maybe the best way for me to continue to be a shawol and not ignore what happened as a poc is to get some space, be there for myself and understand why I’ve formed whatever parasocial relationships I seem to have formed. I want to continue admiring them, because they and the fandom were the reason for a lot of changes in me. Maybe this will be another one of them. Please know you’re not alone in your feelings, and thank you so much for all your posts!

hello anon!

first of all, that's nice of you <3 i'm glad that my presence has brought you at least a little bit of comfort during this shit show. and no need to apologise for rambling. i do that a lot lol, sometimes you just gotta rant a bit and get it off your chest.

but isn't it weird how we feel all these conflicting emotions of guilt, and relief and anger and sadness and all sorts, over kpop men 😭

like, i get WHY of course, but, it's all a sign that maybe we should take a step back from all of this, like you said. and i've made the decision to do that.

mmm a lot of the fandom reaction is what has pissed me off the most too, twitter took years off my life. absolutely wild takes.

yep, i'll always continue to love them. i've supported them for literally half my life, but, it's time for a break.

[cursedcola]

Synopsis: They say something hurtful to their s/o and make them cry 

Characters: Ace Trappola, Jade Leech, Leona KingScholar, and Riddle Rosehearts 

Warnings: This is MUCH longer than part one. 

Part (2/2)

Read the first half: here

{A/N: Hi everyone! Here’s the second edition, as promised! This took 3 sittings to write lol. Sorry for the boring formatting but I don’t think I have the guts to deal with tumblr today.} 

Ace Trappola 

Ace doesn’t have the guts to seek you out immediately

He’s too busy holing himself up in his room. Likely wasting hours laying down; either staring at the ceiling or tossing a baseball in the air. 

His braincells are working overtime (a very rare occurrence in his case), and he’s got the classic ‘Angel vs. Devil’ advocate on each shoulder 

Ya know, think Kronk from Emperor’s New Groove 

According to his Angel, you’re better off alone. He’ll just make things worse and that’s the last thing he wants. The best option is to let himself brood and you have your space. He can wait for you to come to him, and then he’ll apologize. He needs to reflect to be better for you.

As for his Devil, he’s pissed that you ran off without him in the first place. It whispers that the issue wasn’t big enough to warrant a scene. It was only some mindless teasing, and telling him off would have been better. 

It’s a game of tug-o-war between the two. Ace’s pride doesn’t want to admit that he’s in the wrong, and wants you to apologize to him. It wants to march over to Ramshackle, demand you talk to him, and to keep going like nothing happened 

The Devil nearly wins, but somewhere in the back of his mind the Angel has an ‘ace in the hole’. One holding back that sinful pride 

It says that this fight, while small on the surface, is one that would repeat itself if left alone. It’s not the first time Ace’s teasing has gone too far, and he knows it. He has always chosen to ignore it, thinking that you can handle it. He projected himself onto you in many ways, and that’s the real problem. 

If he wants you to stay with him, then it isn’t the teasing that needs to stop. It’s the projecting. He needs to try listening more and treating you like his partner rather than a friend with benefits. 

In the end, his Angel wins

Yet he is still Ace. Patience is not his virtue, so the Devil will have his advocate. 

The fool bolts to Ramshackle, ignoring the protests of his upperclassmen and his dorm’s curfew. Not wise, considering the punishment awaiting him, but he’ll deal with that tomorrow. 

For now, all Ace is concerned with is getting to you before he passes out or does something stupid again 

Without concern for your sleep schedule, he’ll bang on the door “Oi! Open the door (Y/N)! We gotta talk,” 

If you don’t respond, he’ll keep banging until you do. It will progressively get louder and he won’t let up for a moment. It is in your best interest to open it and let him in 

When you do choose to open it, you’ll find him a mess. He didn’t bother to clean himself up after his little existential crisis. 

Once inside, he at first gets cold feet. He initially planned this long ramble about how he would be better, but one look at you makes his thoughts become static 

In the end, all he can manage is to pull you into a tight hug. One he hopes conveys how sorry he is. For earlier, and for overlooking your feelings 

If you hug him back, he’ll calm down significantly. Ace won’t want to go back to his dorm in fear of riddle so perhaps offer him merciful refuge. Give him a glass of water and let him go wash his face. 

You can sentence him to the couch, or spend some time together. He’s okay with either, but you can’t go to bed just yet. Now that he’s calm, he’ll try to scrounge pieces of what he wanted to say earlier but couldn’t.

“Hey,” he starts, facing you with his characteristic determination, “I’m gonna be better. I don’t know how just yet, but that’s my problem to figure out. Just know that I'm gonna do better by you. The next time I make you cry, it’s going to be because you’re so damn happy and can’t help it. I won’t accept nothin’ else, alright?”

.......

Will you give Ace a second chance? 

Jade Leech 

Jade is not one to act on impulse. Every move he makes is done with intent.

Every word is weighed against all others in his vocabulary

Every step is taken considering the optimal route 

Every hour is maximized, even for personal affairs and hobbies 

Jade has always been this way ever since he was a child. How else does a person become so meticulous in everything they do? You noted his behaviors early on, surprising him.

Drawing conclusions based on past experience, deducing his nature should have labeled him as cold-hearted -unapproachable- in your eyes.

 Definetly not someone to be loved or admired 

Yet, you remained fond of him. Finding security in his planning and trust in his words. If he always chose his actions carefully, then he would never lie or hurt you. He found the refreshing point of view charming, agreeing with it.  

“Many may try to harm you, but I am the least likely to,” is what he said. However, even then his words were picked selectively. Even then, he secured himself. 

‘least likely,’ is not definite. If you noticed, which he is certain of, you had not commented and instead played along. 

That conversation had been months ago, yet Jade found himself reflecting on it more in one day than during the timespan between. 

After your argument, he had steeled himself to forget his emotions until your ‘situation’ was taken care of. He met with Floyd and Azul in the VIP lounge, quickly informing them of your whereabouts and why he would be working the night shift. 

As always, he spoke guarded. Only reassuring that you would not be leaving the dorm for the rest of the night and leaving out information on the ‘lovers spat’. Utterly useless, since Floyd and Azul knew Jade well enough to sense there was more. However, neither pried.  

Instead, they readjusted the system. Now Floyd would accompany you through the day, Azul would escort you home, and Jade would personally track any abnormal behaviors from a distance. 

Needless to say, the targeting did not last much longer. Floyd may be decent at tracking, but he’s always been the one to strike in a hunt. Now Jade? He was still on your schedule, yet not bound to your side. With Floyd on guard duty, he was easily able to follow the clues after every ‘accident’. 

Two days

Two days and it was done. He had a hunch before, but it turns out that multiple people with grudges teamed up for this plan which is why their tracks were covered well. Jade still found them though, and his brother was just itching for a good squeezing. 

Unfortunately, Jade held no pity for them. Though he did offer them one last solace. 

“You have succeeded, albeit only temporarily. I grant you the mercy of this knowledge. You have also hurt someone precious, and so I will let my brother here handle your punishment. I have some loose ends to tie in the meantime,” 

With that, he leaves and lets another important issue cloud his mind. 

Jade had lost his composure with you, which normally wouldn’t be too harsh since he does have his moments. They normally appear as taunts or light teasing, but that is not the issue 

Even if he lost control over his voice, he still could have acted.  He hurt you, but instead of fixing it he chose to use the situation to his advantage. Using your moment of distraction to handle the more pressing issue, and letting your emotions fester. He also made you feel unsecure by lying though omission, despite doing it for your own safety 

Now Jade wonders, how well can you truly predict him? Enough to know he did not mean what he said? Enough to understand why he did not resolve your misunderstanding promptly? 

He first finds Azul near your dorm, who informs Jade that you’ve gone to the botanical gardens to relax. The two experience a silent communication, and Jade knows his absence has hurt you. Likely more than his words or lie. 

He finds you seated on a bench, laying back and watching the wind sway the trees. You are unsuspecting, calm, and now Jade understand why you were targeted over himself. 

“If you stare hard enough, perhaps the trees will bend to your will. Although you will then no longer need Grimm for magic lessons...” he permits himself to sit next to you without asking. You glare at him from the corner of your eye, and Jade deflates slightly. 

Something tells him that you know everything. That he spoke impulsively, that he purposefully ignored you, and that someone was after you because of him 

Yet something itches, that you do not want an apology for those issues. His only clue is how you haven’t left, and merely sit defiant as a way to say ‘we’ll? I’m waiting...’

“I suppose that an apology is in order,” he breaths, reaching out to lay a hand over one of your own, “If I am correct, you are already aware what I spoke the other day is not true,” you nod, “that I purposefully distanced myself,” you nod again, “and that I withheld knowledge concerning your safety” you nod for a third time

“I am sorry for hurting you, but not for trying to keep you safe. I do not regret that and never will. Yet -above all else- I am sorry for being distrustful and leaving you alone,” 

......

Will you accept Jade’s apology?

Leona KingScholar 

The moment the door slams, Leona is out and chasing after you. If his underclassmen know what’s good then they won’t get in his way or spread anymore gossip. They are the reason he’s in this mess anyways. 

He tried fixing one problem, but ended up with one much worse. Leona could handle your anger. He’s not the type of guy to hold his tongue, and that gets you both in many fights or troublesome situations. 

Yet those are petty fights. Normally about how he talks to your friends, skips class, or carries you around like a rag doll. He could brush them off and so could you, because deep down you were aware that he never actually aims to do harm

When it matters, he’s straightforward and heartfelt. You believe that when things get serious, he would never ditch you. Not for a moment has he lead that trust astray, until now 

In your eyes, he put his “ pride” over your trust. The initial plan was to brush his dormmates concerns off, but Leona took it too far. Though this isn’t the first time one of his schemes evicted bad karma 

Leona catches up quickly. No matter how fast a human you may be, speed is a lion’s game. 

He grabs you by the bicep just before you are able to enter the travel mirror and leave Savanaclaw. 

“Quit running before you get hurt...” he trails off, the scent of salt hitting him again except more powerful than before. Without letting go, he reaches out his other hand to wipe your tears, only to get pushed away 

While he’s startled, you rip your arm from his hold and push through the mirror. Leaving him with a last warning.

“Go away! I never want to see you again!” the command rings in his head. His arm drops limp to his side, before he growls and punches the rim of the mirror in frustration. Leona curses under his breath, before turning around and letting you go 

He can’t chase after you now, no matter how much he wants to. There is a reason Leona did not want his underclassmen to think your relationship is serious- why he told such an abhorrent lie. 

In his culture, the most respected person in an individual’s life is their partner. The moment you accepted his companionship, you became important to Leona. Which means that if you want it, then it happens. He may complain, he may groan, whine, talk back, etc. 

but whatever power he has, is now yours. You just don’t realize it. 

The same cannot be said for others. People that have bad motives. So, he lied as a preventative measure. Used his pride as a scapegoat, asserted his dominance, and planned to brief you in later. 

He tried to set things right before matter became worse, and failed. Now Leona needs a loophole. Some way to fix this without confusing you or overstepping a boundary. A way that involves a medium. 

More like an errand boy. Leona can’t send Ruggie, because the hyena by default is required to respect you as much as Leona. Jack Howl? No ties. Hates drama. No ulterior motives. 

Perfect. 

A quick bribe, pull at the heartstrings, and before Jack realizes it he’s already delivering a penned note to your dorm. 

“The house-warden is pretty bent out of shape these days. Snappy, moping, and honestly a real pain in the ass. Give the letter a chance, maybe he’ll surprise you,” Jack said upon leaving the note

Refuse him or not, you will take the letter. It’s enchanted to keep reappearing until opened by the intended recipient

 If you ask why Leona has not come himself, Jack will simply emphasize the letter again with a huff 

“Your word is binding, understand? I can claw, scratch, scream -do whatever other stupidly desperate thing you’re picturing right now- but I can not come near unless you say so. Now that you know this, let me explain everything first, and if you still want to run away then go ahead. Just know that if you don’t show up, I will keep hassling your bushy-tailed friend. Maybe I’ll enlist the gluttonous cat? All the tuna in the world in exchange for the stubborn prefect; what will he choose?”   

......

Will you return to Savanaclaw?  

Riddle Rosenhearts 

Riddle tries to follow you. He screams in his head to move, find you, explain himself, and bring you back 

Trey is looking at him expectantly, as are the rest of his dormmates. In his frozen state, his eyes scan their faces. Some of sympathy, others withholding frustration, and a few near ready to go after you in his place 

Riddle understands, you are beloved by all. You have a place here. A place with him. 

Resolving to move, he pushes his chair back to make haste. Yet, he pauses midway in a panic to stabilize himself against the table. It’s then he realizes how his legs are like jelly, and how afraid he is to speak with you again. 

Riddle nearly falls over, with Trey steadying his shoulders at the last second. He hears his name being called, yet is too absorbed in his thoughts.  

Most specifically, the voice whispering for him to let you go. 

It is no secret that Riddle has changed since meeting you. He’s become more sympathetic with his peers, and has somehow managed to become more than just respected in their eyes. He is grateful for the impact you’ve made on his life, and only a fool would not notice his adoration...

What has he done? What can he offer you? He has joked many times that you will find no better in all of Twisted Wonderland 

Does he truly believe that? No, and now you have the chance to go home. A world he has never seen before, where you can be happy. If he lets you go now, then it will make separating much easier. There will be no goodbye. He will simply return home to his mother, and when the new year begins it will be like you never entered his life. You can be free from everything-

His face stings. Riddle’s sight finally focuses on those around him, specifically on the rageful freshmen glaring daggers into his skull and with a hand raised

“Just shut up already and go after them! You’re such a big baby- ‘boo hoo I'm holding them back. My name is Riddle and I talk superior but really I’m just afraid of everything’,” Ace mimics Riddle’s voice, pretending to sound like a crying toddler, ”that is what you sound like. Damn straight you aren’t good enough for them, but you better finish what you started or someone else will,” at the end of his lecture, Ace points towards the rest of Heartslabyul’s residents and nearly all agree aloud. 

Riddle goes red, all self-deprecating thoughts vanishing at the taunt and mixing with embarrassment. Ace tries to push past him yet gets halted. Not by a collar, but merely Riddle standing in his path. All signs of jello-legs gone, as he looks his underclassmen in the eye. 

“That,” Riddle says through his teeth, “is not necessary. Rest assured that they will not be leaving Twisted Wonderland. I swear it on the name of Rosehearts,” he dismisses the final unbirthday party of the year and sends Trey to retrieve some spare stationary. Once received, he bids all a goodnight before returning to his bedroom. 

The next day arrives, and Riddle is carrying his suitcase to where he’ll be staying over summer break. On the way there he stops to release a messenger crow, one carrying a very important message. 

He walks up the steps to the house, nervous about the previous day’s events and his mother’s reaction. Waiting for a response letter will also be very stressful. The list seems to only grow...

He takes a moment to steel himself, and knock on the door. Once. Twice. Three times. As the rules dictate. 

He hears steps grow close and clutches his suitcase firm. When the door opens, he offers a meek smile, “may I come in?”  

Too surprised to speak, you step aside wordlessly and usher him inside Ramshackle dorm. 

“I am aware you may not wish to see me after yesterday,” he begins, setting his suitcase down to take your hands, “but I cannot let that be our last meeting. If visiting home is what students do over break, then I will be staying here. I want you to stay in Twisted Wonderland. I want to spend time at your side, and I am sorry for leading you to believe otherwise. I am willing to spend the entire summer earning your forgiveness, but do not leave. Please,”

.....

Will you remain in Twisted Wonderland with Riddle? 

[lovethisletters]

Dating Grell HC!

Hi! SO sorry for taking this long, irl stuff got in my way but I’m finally here! Agreed, finding Grell content is kind of difficult, and though they aren’t my favorite character, I do enjoy their personality. Before we start, I would like to clarify that I wrote this with gender neutral pronouns for Grell since I’m kind of confused: in the manga and anime sometimes, characters will refer to them with: He/Him pronouns, they refer to themselves with: She/her but their wiki refers to them with they/them pronouns; so, if someone could clarify that for me (and provide a link that confirms is cannon) I would be beyond grateful!

Word count: 1220

Keys: Y/n = Your name.

Summary: Grell starts to feel in a way they have never felt before.

Warnings/Additional notes: none…I think(? But I tried to keep it neutral for the reader too, since pronouns weren’t specified.

Grell being a reaper they have little to no time on their hands, so most probably they met you at work.

They were the one to approach you first by practically throwing themselves at you going on a ramble about how GORGEOUS you are.

I think that at the beginning their feelings are more like a simple crush that will fade away with time or mindless lust that is set to disappear the moment they get to have sex with you.

So, until that happens you will have to deal with practically a cat, they get all touchy: rubbing their cheek against yours, hugging you enthusiastically (like how a child would hug a stuffed toy) begging for attention constantly and even directing not so subtle innuendos at you.

But overall Grell is someone fun and pleasing to be around (especially if you are feeling a bit down) their bubbly and dramatic personality is just so contagious you can’t help but smile!

So that’s why you don’t push them away as harshly as Sebastian or William would

And I feel like that’s why they get a little bit more interested in you.

Even though they identify themselves as a masochist, that does not mean they enjoy being treated poorly all the time, they know their personality is…hard to cope with, but Grell appreciate when someone would still make the effort to get along.

So, when you don’t just…you know…kick them in the face every time they approach you (cofcofSeb&Willcofcof) they feel more comfortable being themselves around you, since no matter how eccentric they might be, you always continue the conversation in a kind manner.

Grell is someone who’s VERY emotionally driven, to the point I think it must be hard for them to differentiate certain emotions like: anger to frustration, sadness with deception and romantic love to lustful attraction. I feel like for them there’s no grey area, is either love or hate so in the beginning this might cause your relationship a bit of trouble.

As your relationship grew closer you started to notice a change in Grell’s behavior: They started being a bit more serious (still as theatrical as ever but different none the less)

They suddenly seemed to have become aware of what personal space is supposed to mean, the hugs became relatively short, the innuendos stopped almost completely and when the two of you started talking, Grell was eerily quiet.

This probably would make you feel like you might have angered them in some way, but don’t worry…the truth is..Grell is just confused.

Lust driven love is all they’re ever known, but their feelings for you have changed, evolved if you may. The only thing they know: is that they like you, but not in the way they like Will, Sebastian or Undertaker, no. They like you in a different way…a deeper way.

So please be patient and let them figure it out on their own.

BUT tbh I don’t think they figured out on their own…I just think they where in the phantomhive manor one day (just to tease Sebastian or double-check these newfound feelings were indeed different) But Ciel just felt so uneasy since he had never seen Grell so quiet and deep in thought.

—What is wrong with you, Grell?—His words condescending as ever.

—Pay no mind to them, master. The reaper is just hopelessly in love—Said Sebastian with a smirk creeping on his lips.

Sebastian’s words were almost eye-opening to them. “Love? Was it truly the right word to describe this feeling?”

Yes, yes it was, they knew the moment they went back to you that day.

Saying that you were surprised when Grell suddenly appeared at your house, late at night, pinning you to the floor by giving you the BIGGEST hug in your life, after weeks of not seeing each other since apparently, they were ignoring you, was a severe understatement.

—What has gotten into you, Grell?— you questioned, caressing their long red hair.

—Oh! Y/N my love! I love you!—You smiled, Grell had finally come back to you.

—Ha Ha Ha, I love you too, Grell!—Grell froze in place.

You thought they were messing around with you like countless time before, so you just responded in the usual joking manner.

—No, no, no! You’ve got it all wrong my dear!—For the first time since you had known them, their expression turned serious and gently took your hands in theirs.

—Y/n you are probably the only person I have ever felt this strongly, I feel like if you were to die today, I will die with you! Y/n my dear…I love you! This are my true feelings…Won’t you accept them?

Such sweet words, spoken with the most profound sincerity.

You couldn’t help but tear up a little (Which made Grell panic a bit)

—Yes, Grell, I love you too, so please accept this feelings of mine as well.—The hugh that followed was not only an acceptance but the seal of a promise, the true love kind of promise.

From here onwards you can see a change in Grell’s behavior towards you (in a positive way that is)

Dating Grell means you get to see them in a whole new light.

They are much more sincere (still dramatic as ever but a bit toned down)

They allow themselves to be vulnerable with you, no longer hiding their worries under a carefree and almost indifferent facade.

You become a safe place they can come to when things get difficult or simply when they just feel tired and overwhelmed with their reaper duties.

Something that stays pretty much the same in your relationship is how much attention-seeking they are.

You have to put on hold whatever you’re doing ‘cause those things can wait but Grell don’t.

“Nee~ honey, pay attention to me!” is a phrase you might hear often if you even dare to pay attention to something else when they are right beside you!

Grell will 100% shower you in kisses constantly.

Cuddles! Cuddles are a MUST with them.

Be prepared for Lots LOTS of PDA, they don’t care if it’s not the appropriate time or place, they need to show you how much you mean to them now!

I feel like they are the type to pull you closer and start dancing or reciting a dramatic dialogue of some romantic play they recently saw, out of nowhere in the middle of the street.

Grell also loves when you touch, caress, braid or brush their hair, is just so adorable! (If you want to turn them on, just pull their hair a little and see what happens ;)

If you have long hair, they will do the same but if you don’t expect them to go wild with how much flower crowns, hats, hair pins, etc they gift you.

Matching outfits! They even gifted you a red coat like theirs!

Grell loves when you let them do your make up! (if you wear any that is, otherwise they would allow you to do theirs) and it goes without saying, they are so good at it! you always end up feeling like royalty.

Theatrical pet names!

Sometimes they would allow you to borrow their Death Scythe (even if is for ridiculous things like idk cutting bread lol) but shhh, don’t tell Will!

Theater Dates!

Kisses, TONS of kisses (they love when you bite their lips, if you do; you might even hear them moan)

Overall, Grell is just so happy to have someone like you in their life and they will demonstrate it to you every chance they get.

♡♤♡♤♡♤♡♤

If you spot any misplaced pronouns, please let me know! I will correct it asap! just know that I didn’t do it with any ill intention and that english is not my first language and perhaps that’s why something might have slipped! as well grammatical errors, I’m trying to polish my writing in this language so calling me out on any mistakes helps me a lot!

I will forever thank you if you go check out my other profile: @aileysmirnov​ where I post things about my OC: edits, one-shots, imagines, art, etc. If you like Greek mythology and the bat family maybe you would like her as much as I do!

Anyway! Thank you for reading!

[hellreads]

what are some of the most filthiest fics you've ever read?

this is the HARDEST ASK I have received so far, I spaced out after seeing this ask trying to recall every single filthy fic I ever read because there’s a lot but I will only be adding three fics per member for this ask, now, what I consider filthy may not be your cup of tea or may seem vanilla to y’all but to each their own, btw filthy to me includes threesomes to gangbangs because we’re weak for double penetration in this house, a lot of cum play and sloppy seconds, dirty talk, degradation, and more ~ by more I mean feelings, I need to feel something before drowning me in good explicit smut but I like pwps too lol, anyway, enough of my ramblings let’s get to the list! | 🍒

NOTE: please check all tags and warnings before reading a fic, read any of these at your own risk!

TOP PICKS

❥ The Hills by @minflix➴ Ski-Trip/Vacation!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Hoseok | Series➴ A ski trip with old friends sounds like a fun time, right?when your ex-boyfriend (who you hate but somehow always end up in bed with) and your stepbrother (who you are harboring not-so-secret feelings for) tag along at the last minute, you have a feeling it won’t be an uneventful weekend.but fun? debatable. that remains to be seen.

❥ Pour Up by jungxkook (deactivated/story no longer here on tumblr)➴ Fuckboy/Fratboy!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You like to pretend you hate Jungkook and Taehyung but sleeping with both of them doesn’t sound so terrible especially when you’re drunk and faded.

❥ Extreme Obsession by saylilirose➴ Psychological/Yandere!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ In life, you meet one person that you live and grow old with. 

You? You meet seven. 

But your love? Non-existent. 

But theirs? Real…and obsessive.

Which turns deadly and dangerous. 

Without hesitation.➴ NOTE: this story contains heavy/dark/taboo themes and this isn’t for everyone, make sure you read all tags and warnings before starting this fic, you’ve been warned.

Kim Namjoon

❥ Miss Communication by @dovechim➴ Poly!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Poly relationships can be complicated. especially one where there’s an established hierarchy, and someone decides to break the rules. in a series of miscommunications between your boyfriends, you find yourself being the conveyor of peace and something else that isn’t quite what you expected. 

❥ Tigerboy by @joonbird➴ Hybrid!AU | Namjoon x Reader | One-Shot➴ “You, a docile rabbit hybrid, have been waiting a long time to meet the mysterious tiger hybrid, Kim Namjoon.”

❥ Criminal by @teawithkpop➴ Criminal/Police!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Yoongi x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Namjoon is a wanted criminal, and he decides he wants you to be his ‘last meal’ before he’s booked.

Kim Seokjin

❥ The Devil Wears Armani by @floralseokjin➴ Devil!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You never imagined accidentally attempting to sell your soul to the devil would lead to this…

❥ Off-Limits by @floralseokjin➴ Brother’s Bestfriend!AU | Seokjin x Reader | Series➴ You’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…

❥ In The Bleak Midwinter by @pcyheartgirlx➴ Idol/Escort!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Chanyeol | Series➴ We’re all whores, we just sell different parts of ourselves.

You own a multi-billion dollar company, servicing the biggest names in kpop, in more ways than one. Under the name “Starlight Catering”, you, your best friends, Damon and Maya, and your hundreds of workers provide stress relief for idols.

You have partially retired, not because you didn’t want to, but because Chanyeol was your muse. He was all that you had time for and all you needed. Until Jin came along.

So what happens when you mix fire and ice?

You get smoke and all the lines are blurred.

Min Yoongi (hardest list to make, I have a lot of good Yoongi filth T_T)

❥ Zelus by bumblexfox➴ Sugar Daddy/Lovers!AU | Yoongi x Reader | One-Shot➴ Yoongi becomes jealous when your close friend Jungkook puts his hands all over you right infront of his face. So, Yoongi decides to make sure you know who you really belong to.

❥ Dead Leaves by wrienne➴ Detective!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Jimin | Series➴ In which you (reader) are a homicide detective about to face the biggest hurdle both of your career and life.

Married to probably the kindest but most boring man you’ve ever met and living in a town where nothing ever seems to happen means life for you is dull. Dull enough to drive you crazy with boredom and dissatisfaction. However, life changes abruptly when your old boss retires and a new man takes his place - a man you used to love (and sleep very regularly with) more than a decade ago. Especially when your husband comes home smelling of perfume, you’re unable to resist your more carnal urges and dead women start showing up across the city with unnerving frequency.

❥ Hyung, Open the Door by @gotmetalkinginmysleep➴ Idol!AU | Yoongi x Reader x Taehyung x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ You’ve been keeping the boys awake with your moaning for months thanks to Yoongi. Tae and Jungkook want to find out why.

Jung Hoseok 

❥ Flight 18 by @noona-la-la-la➴ Idol!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Korean Air Flight 18 leaves daily from Los Angeles traveling to Seoul. You’ve taken this flight before, but this time you’ve got an irritating passenger in the neighboring seat. Little did you know that he would end up giving you the ride of your life.

❥ See Both Sides Like Chanel by @minflix➴ Rich Kids/FWB!AU | Namjoon x Reader x Hoseok | One-Shot➴ You, Namjoon, and Hoseok are inseparable. Three best friends that grew up together since you were all in diapers.

But lately, Namjoon has been drifting away…

So on his birthday, you and Hoseok remind him just how inseparable the three of you really are.

⤷ or alternatively: a little less twenty-one candles, a little more “touch me”

❥ Langour by @littlemisskookie➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Hoseok x Reader | One-Shot➴ Hoseok’s got a lust-driven thirst for his step sister.

Park Jimin

❥ Sharing is Caring by @littlemisskookie➴ Prostitution!AU | Seokjin x Reader x Jimin | One-Shot➴ Jin graciously decides to loan you to handsome Park Jimin for the night.

❥ Power Play by @dovechim➴ Pornstar!AU | Jimin x Reader | One-Shot➴ You know him as the A-lister of all porn stars; a man who sits pretty in his place at the top of the food chain. But you also know him as the Park Jimin who single-handedly humiliated you and ruined your own career as a rookie just starting out, the epitome of the biggest dick in the entire industry… and you’re not talking about his assets. But when Park Jimin comes to you, saying he’s in a slump that only you can get him out of and begs you to sign an exclusive contract with him; things get messy… in more ways than one.

❥ Neighbors by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ Neighbors!AU | Jimin x Reader | Series➴ Finally achieving your successes in life you never expected the distraction that came with your new hot neighbor. He, however, had been trying to get your attention for a much different reason.

Kim Taehyung & Jeon Jungkook (because majority of my fave filth includes these two ~ I am breaking the 3 fics list for them because I can dsjkhfkjasdhf)

❥ Clandestine by @ditzymax➴ Assassin!AU | Taehyung x Named OC x Jungkook | Series➴  As a professional assassin, Kim Kinsoo has many shrouded secrets in her life. Some of them she shares openly with her loving boyfriend, but there are other things he must never know.

❥ Shameless by @imaginethisbts➴ Voyeurism/Exhibitionism!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ Taehyung’s the new guy in town, just trying to make some friends. And when Jungkook invites him to a party, he thinks he’s finally gotten a good opportunity to meet some new people. But what he doesn’t expect is witnessing his new friend Jungkook and his girlfriend, you, getting it on in front of him, and all of the other guys, at this so-called party. 

❥ When You Least Expect It by @johobi➴ F2L/Lovers!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ You’re in love with your childhood friend, Taehyung. The problem is, you treasure your friendship with him far too much to ever risk losing it. Oh, and he’s quite the Casanova. At your wits’ end with feelings you can no longer hide as diligently as you once did, you ask him to set you up with someone, anyone, in a last-ditch attempt to avoid a heartbreaking conversation.

❥ Stealing the Bite by @wildernessuntothemselves➴ Supernatural!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In a world populated by the supernatural, witches were the most despised and mistrusted of creatures. Everyone desired to make use of their powers but no one was willing to be seen openly conferring with them. And so there came to pass a heinous practice: Small covens of witches were isolated and kept under wraps in every kingdom, to be utilized when needed, and kept under close watch to prevent them from rebelling. 

Growing up in a kingdom ruled by werewolves, abuse and scorn were a fact of life, but you were determined to put an end to it. You devised a devious plan to gain power, and it involved a certain prince.

❥ The Doms Next Door by @tatertotthethot➴ Poly/Tattoo!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ In which you unknowingly accept the offer to become a tattoo model for the two, sexually-crazed men next door.

❥ Maid for You by @forgottenpasta➴ Idol!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | One-Shot➴ As Bangtan’s dorm maid you’re expected to be professional, your identity anonymous. Until Jeongguk finds you on your knees beside his bed, with his rolex in your hand.

❥ Into Temptation by coconutty➴ Demon!AU | Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook | Series➴ It was just a dare…

❥ Lust and Errors by @imaginethisbts➴ Step-Siblings!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Stepbrother, fuck buddy… They were one and the same now. But what started out as some mindless fucking game, quickly turns into something much more difficult and complex.

❥ What’s Mine is Mine by @avveh➴ Idol!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot ➴ You caught his eye from day one. As far as Jungkook was concerned, you were always meant to be his.

❥ This Isn’t Love Darling by @junqkook➴ Mafia/Escort!AU | Jungkook x Reader | One-Shot➴ He tasted of an empty night and an eclipsing moon, with blood on his hands and fire in his eyes when he put his mouth on yours.

❥ Illicit Photography by @jkeuphoriadreamland➴ University/Photography!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ You’re a well respected university professor who assigns a portfolio project to your photography students, but your best student, Jungkook, doesn’t follow the rules very well.

❥ My Way by @ellieljade➴ Fuckbuddy!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series➴ Jungkook doesn’t appreciate your boyfriend’s insistence that he stop sleeping with you and he knows just how to prove that you like it his way.

OT7

❥ Moth to Flame by @bang-to-the-tan➴ Vampire!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Robbed of your memories and intended as a birthday present for a deadly creature of the night, you unwittingly become the center of a territorial dispute between two covens of vampires. Tensions are rising and the brothers are getting hungry.

❥ Void by @btssavedmylifeblr➴ Space!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You are the only female crew member on a 12-year space mission with seven handsome men. The sexual tension is real, y’all.

❥ Temptation Series by @yminie➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ Sleeping Temptation : Yoongi and Jimin come home to find you asleep on the couch. To say they were happy they beat the other members back would be an understatement.

➴ Waking Temptation : Hoseok, Taehyung and Namjoon are home, and you’re not asleep anymore.

➴ Sweeter Temptation : After an eventful evening, it’s the morning after and Jin’s there to take care of you.

➴ Breaking Temptation : Jungkook ditches movie night for other activities, and you’re not impressed.

❥ Seven Deadly Sins by @mintedmango➴ Demon!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ You stood suddenly, chair being pushed away by the backs of your legs, the rest of the sins standing with you as you looked around in panic. All except Sloth who was out cold in the corner.“Oh, little pet, indeed, I am still hungry.”

❥ Physcom by @teawithkpop➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Series➴ AU where live-in Physical Companions are provided to k-pop groups so the members can relieve their sexual related stress and tension - around their busy schedules, of course. You are one such “PhysCom”. However, complications arise when the BTS members start harboring romantic feelings for you. Feelings you’re not sure you can reject with any believable amount of conviction. Such a scandal could result in getting both you and them fired and exposed, ruining any future career options for all parties involved… it turns out the “com” in PhysCom might as well stand for complications.

❥ Cum by @honeymoonjin➴ Idol!AU | OT7 x Reader | Two-Shot➴ An episode of Run! BTS in which the seven members compete to see who can make you cum first.

❥ The Gentlemen’s Club by @brookelegend➴ Club!AU | OT7 x Reader (Hobi-Centric) | Series➴ You’ve been in a dating drought, more specifically, a sex drought. Your best friend has the perfect remedy for your problem: The Gentlemen’s Club.

[wienerbarnes]

Telephone Line

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 1,449

Warnings: pretty sad ngl but not angst, mentions of death, mentions of cancer, these warnings sound bad but i promise its just kinda sad lol

A/N: ngl even i dont know where this came from lol but ill prob make a pt 2? if the idea i have strikes enough material for another part. enjoy anyways tho!

MAIN MASTERLIST

A deep orange hue shines through the cracks of his blinds as Bucky looks at the new shiny exterior of his new iPhone. Being too reckless on a mission led him to a cell phone cracked in two, resulting in him having to spend four hours at the Apple store all the way in Manhattan, quite a ways away from his apartment upstate.

Low trumpets flow softly through the speakers of his record player, a bold blue box that Sharon gifted him this year for his birthday. He hums to Marvin Gaye as he goes through the device in front of him, setting up account after account, typing in password after password. Gaye was a few decades after his time, but he won’t let it show in front of Sam how much he enjoys his music. 

He downloads the mindless puzzle games he had on his previous phone and is thankful that the contacts that were in his old phone were able to be transferred for him. 

He locks the phone and sets it aside before taking out the small sketchbook from the drawer in his desk. He also grabs a pencil from the cup sitting on the corner of the wood and flips his book open to a fresh page. A new hobby Bucky’s picked up since Steve’s passing. 

His real passing. Not the one everyone sold to the world in order for him to live the rest of his life in peace in a cabin far away, probably crowded in trees and flowers; perhaps the house is where a rainbow begins or where the sky rains golden droplets. Bucky wouldn’t know, he never visited after seeing Steve as an old man after he returned the stones. 

There wasn’t anger; Bucky and Steve spoke about his plans before he left and Bucky was happy for him, he was finally getting the life he deserved after so much time spent doing the “right” thing, and not what he wanted. It was a situation of feeling… weird and awkward around this new Steve. It was a completely different Steve with different experiences, different memories. A family. Kids and grandkids and great-grandkids. Photos probably hung on the walls of the house of people he wouldn’t recognize. He always wondered what happened to him in Steve's timeline. In other words, he wonders if Steve rescued him from Hydra and spared him the eighty years of torture. He wonders if there’s any pictures of him in Steve’s house. For Bucky, it became, “I’ll go visit him another day,” until, well, there weren’t any more chances. 

A sketch of what he can remember Times Square to look like from this afternoon appears on the paper. Rough lines shaping out tall buildings and people, small squares to outline the pavement, bigger boxes to indicate the shapes of the numerous cars that filled the area. He reaches for his box of colored pencils in the side-drawer of the desk when the generic ringtone of his new phone belts out loudly.

A number that isn’t saved into his phone appears on the screen. A Brooklyn area code. Maybe all the contacts didn’t transfer themselves.

“Hello,” Bucky answers after swiping his right pointer finger along the slide bar.

A hitch of feminine breath is heard before a few seconds of silence, before the three beeps signaling the caller hung up. Probably an accident.

Bucky goes to pick up his pencil again before the tone is heard once more, the same number on the screen. An eyebrow quirks upwards and he answers the phone again.

“...Hello?” Bucky says once more. Again, he’s met with silence before being hung up on. Maybe not an accident, maybe a prank caller. I’ve had the phone for maybe six minutes and this is already happening.

The same number calls for a third time and Bucky debates even answering this time. He lets it ring three times before answering.

“Hello?” He asks, met with silence. “Listen, I’m not in the mood for prank callers, so if you don’t mind-”

“Who is this?” A quiet feminine voice finally answers through the speaker against his ear.

“Who is- What do you mean who is this? Lady, you called me first!” Bucky responds, already exasperated with the conversation.

“How did you get this phone number?” She asks, voice shakier than the first time she spoke.

“I got a new phone and they gave it to me? How else do you get phone numbers?”

“No, no, no. You don’t understand. This-this is my husband's number. It can’t be your new number!” The woman responds, voice cracking this time.

“Okay, okay, hey, relax. Maybe there was a mistake? Maybe your husband received a different phone number?” Bucky offers, not really wanting to play Tech Support as he draws to wind down his day before dinner.

“No! There wasn’t a mistake, my-my husband is dead! This was his phone number and-and-and I call it everyday once I-I get out of work! How did you get this number, why did they give his away?!” Pants and shaky breaths are heard between almost every other word as you start audibly crying on the phone.

Bucky’s eyes widen, not expecting that explanation. Great, a fruit gave away her husband to me.

“Hey, okay, take a breath.” Bucky suggests, and waits for her breathing to become a little more regular before continuing. “I’m sorry they gave me your husband’s number, it was randomly selected. I mean, I hope it wasn’t the last thing you had of his voice?” Bucky tries to offer.

“Of course it’s not,” You reply, voice sounding calmer now. “I just wasn’t expecting them to give away his number like that, it stayed for a few weeks so I thought,” a humorless chuckle, “I thought they’d let me keep it.”

“I’m really sorry about your husband. I, uh,” Bucky hesitates, questioning if he should be telling this emotionally unstable widow about his personal life, but continues anyway, “I recently lost someone important to me, as well. My best friend.” Bucky confesses, fingers toying with the circular edge of the back of the colored pencil.

A pause, “Can you tell me about him?”

“He, um, was a good guy. Real selfless. He was uh,” Bucky thinks of how to talk about Steve without actually leading to the fact that he’s talking about the former Captain America, “He was a bit older than me, and he passed away from health problems. Heart problems.” Bucky comes up, technically not a lie, his heart did stop when he died.

A small sniffle, “My husband passed away from lung cancer. The doctors told me there was no other hope for him; he needed a machine to help him breathe and a bunch of tubes in him to help him do everything else. So I asked the doctors to just…” You trail off.

A sudden deep sigh escapes her, the raspiness of her voice heard through the speaker and flows into his ear, “Sorry, I probably sound like a crazy person right now, calling her dead husband everyday just to hear his seven second voicemail.” You apologize, another humorless laugh following your words. 

“I don’t think you’re crazy. I think you’re just trying to cope the best way you can. You miss him.” Bucky objects, still toying with the purple colored pencil in his hand.

“Um, yea.” You respond, probably not even expecting Bucky to actually listen to your rambling.

“What’s your name?” You ask.

“James.”

“Of course it is,” You mumble, eyes closing on the other side of the call.

“What was that?” 

“I said, of course it is. That was my husband’s name, too.”

A sympathetic smile pulls at his mouth, even though you can’t see it.

“Listen, if you even want to call again, I don’t mind. I can either listen in silence, or we can talk, or, whatever you want. It’s okay.”

“Thanks, James. That’s nice of you.” You say, voice watery, but Bucky doesn’t mention it.

“I’ll, uh, let you go, James. Sorry for any bother.” He can tell you’re struggling to hold back tears with the way your voice is straining.

“No bother at all. Have a good rest of your night, okay?” Bucky bids her, hoping she will, but accepting that there’s a good chance this poor woman will be in tears for the rest of her evening.

“You, too.”

A couple seconds of silence follow before the call ends. Bucky sighs, locking his phone once more. He picks up the pencil in front of him, ignoring the small tremor in his fingers, and presses the pencil to the paper.

He thinks about her for the rest of the night.

[pickeringawd]

your gift of nonchalance (part 3)

W: some swearing and suggestive content. WC: 2.7k words. AN: i... am so sorry lol. reminder that i love y’all sm <3

You startle awake, flushed against him. The living room has gotten darker, moonlight coming in from the terrace casting ambiguous shadows on the walls. He's super hot, his chest heaving up and down with each breath, but his heartbeat wraps you in a cloud of tranquility. It's grounding and actively fist-fighting your dawning sobriety. Pieces of that evening struggle to make a coherent whole. All that lingers is a hollow feeling of regret.

Dawn is approaching. For both your sake, you figure it's better to leave before he wakes. Fast track the inevitable and all. But a single glance in his direction crumbles that resolve. His face is buried in your neck, the shallow exhale of his breath hot but gentle against your skin, the domesticity of it all as mocking as it is divine.

As you consolidate this moment into memory, this quiet bubble where the population constitutes solely of the both of you, you mourn what could have been.

Kissing the top of his head, you utter a quick apology and extricate yourself from his hold. He stirs but otherwise remains asleep, burying his face into a throw pillow instead. Using moonlight to guide you, quietly, you tip-toe around his living room in search of your clothes. Having forgotten where he’d discarded them, heat rising to your cheeks at the memory of his hands gliding up your stomach before pulling your shirt over your head and across the room, you momentarily lose yourself in the task.

“Leaving me again?"

Taken aback by his voice, so much louder in the stillness, you stifle a gasp, and because you can't quite muster the courage to turn around and face him, you remain unmoving and pretend to have not heard him.

All the while, your heart is hammering against your rib cage.

"Come 'ere," he murmurs, voice firm. He sits up on the couch, the blanket just barely covering his lap. Moonlight hits his bare chest just right, seemingly illuminating him from within, as if his internal organs were slathered in glow-in-the-dark paint.

He leans forward, on his elbows, and something in his hand catches your attention. Your panties. Meeting his gaze for the first time that night, you notice the heavy despair in his eyes, obscured by fatigue. He motions you forward.

The last thing you want is proximity—but you comply; anything to ease the growing tension. Standing before him, stark naked, you feel his free hand rest on your waist and his lips press against your stomach. Had he done this 48 hours ago, it wouldn't have elicited anything other than genuine fondness. But now, your knees almost give out at the simple display of affection. You're beginning to notice the questionable behaviour you once weren't cognizant to.

Holding onto his shoulder for support, you lift one leg, then the other, and carefully step into your panties. He, then, pulls you onto his lap.

He leans in and almost reflexively, you pull back, just enough to create some distance but not enough for him to notice, afraid he'd try to kiss you. You feel ashamed and embarrassed almost immediately and to make up for it, you don't resist when he coaxes your arms around his neck. Gingerly, you let them sit there.

You feel self-conscious, sitting on his lap, topless, the heat of his body a constant reminder of what had transpired a mere few hours ago. The fact that he's completely bare underneath the blanket makes your head swim. Even more so the fact that you could peel it back, exposing him, and he wouldn't object. Because in this very moment, he was yours. As long as the sky remained as dark as night, he, as a whole, belonged to you. And you wish so bad you could stretch that time frame. Make it last as long as possible.

There is so much that needs to be said yet nothing seems.... appropriate.

Are we okay? dances on the tip of his tongue. But define okay. Does it encapsulate the damage done to a longstanding friendship all in the name of a little fun, free of inhibition and full of alcohol, and the acceptance of said damage?

He settles for, "I don't regret what we did."

Neither do you. You don't regret it—but you do. It's all so complicated and confusing. And for fear of adding more confusion to the mix, you opt for complete candor.

Tentatively, you lean forward, pressing yourself against his bare chest, and let your lips brush against the shell of his ear, voice weak. "Your friend… earlier…" you begin, unsure, and let the words trail off instead.

He doesn’t seem to mind the fact that you glossed over what he said. You feel his hands roam your back, soothingly, as he hums his puzzlement, momentarily ignorant of your words.

"Yesterday. That woman." You clarify.

He hums again, this time in acknowledgment. His hands wander down your waist and thighs.

You decide to rip off the band-aid. "Did you have sex with her?"

His movements halt. He tips his head back in an attempt to make eye contact but you tighten your arms around his neck, restricting the endeavor. You're too embarrassed to stare at him in the eye.

You realize you'd rather not know. If he answers in the affirmative, how will that make you feel? "Oh God, forget I just asked that." You feel hot. You wish you could disappear, along with the desperate words you'd just muttered. "It's none of my business, anyway." He senses what you're about to do and wraps his arms around your waist, making it near impossible for you to maneuver off his lap.

"No, not again." You can hear the smirk on his face. He only loosens his hold when he feels you relax but not before pulling you almost flush against him. "Is this why you abandoned me yesterday, you thought I had just had sex with someone?"

Placing a hand on his chest—ignoring the erratic beating of his heart—you murmur, breathlessly, "sorry about that, by the way. I feel like shit. Leaving you like that when you needed me... That wasn't cool." You keep averting your gaze, meeting his fleetingly before letting your eyes skitter in any other direction.

Grabbing your face with both hands, he pulls you in, letting his forehead rest against yours. "I didn't. I didn't have sex with her." Then, as an afterthought, "I haven't had sex in a while."

You let the information sink in while simultaneously fighting the urge to avoid his stare. There's a powerful desire to be believed reflected in his eyes that grips at your heart. You believe him. Of course, you believe him. How desperate you’ve been to dispel any doubt! His revelation is like a breath of fresh air, blowing away all the anxiety and fear that's made a home of your heart.

It all falls into place. You hadn't been able to see it on his face that afternoon. The red tint to his cheeks. The pep in his steps. The dazed-like glimmer... He hadn't hooked up with her. How could you have turned an eye to such glaring signs? Because of the scent. And he did admit to there being a woman in his apartment. Were they really just friends? And what had he invited her over for? To hang out? Just like he had invited you over to hang out?

Your head is beginning to swim. His hands feel hot against your cheeks. To keep from blubbering all the questions popping into your head and making a bigger fool of yourself, more mindless rambling ensues. "I wasn't there for you and you didn't deserve that. It was selfish. I was being an asshole—"

"Baby," he interrupts, his thumbs caressing your cheekbones.

The term of endearment catches you off guard. It seems to catch him off guard, as well, at least enough for his hands to flinch and self-consciously fold in his lap, like they'd just been singed. It sounds different in a non-sexual setting (you blush at the memory that pops into your head: pet-name rolling down Shawn’s tongue as he pounds into you from behind). It sounds official, sober, and like it has a whole other meaning.

You realize something fundamental has shifted. That line, the one that was in danger of being eviscerated, exists only in your rear-view mirror now, a reminder of what used to be.

"I'm not mad," he continues, his voice careful. "You had your reasons, I get it."

You stare down at his hands and nod, deep in thought. You interlock your fingers and bring them up to your mouth. "So, you haven't?" His words keep ringing in your ears, like echoes in a bare room. "Had sex in a while?"

"I haven't had sex in a while."

You brush your lips against his knuckles. "W-Why not?"

He shrugs noncommittally. Then redirects the question. “Have you?”

"Had sex in a while? No."

"Why not?"

You turn his hand over and let the back rest against your cheek. You give him the same shrug, eliciting a faint smile, and inch your head to the side, softly kissing the back of his hand. He tugs you forward, circling his free arm around your waist. You give his hand a final kiss before letting him pull you in. His nose languidly brushing against yours, quietly, he says, "it bothered you." You're not sure what he's referring to but your heartbeat quickens nonetheless, bracing itself for something you weren’t privy to. "The thought of me sleeping with her."

"No, it didn't." You try to be as nonchalant as possible.

"You're a terrible liar."

"It's just... I thought—" You lean back, out of immediate reach. "I heard, well, read things."

He frowns. "What things?"

"All the girls you… y'know.” Your voice quiets, the last word barely audible.

"What girls, ba—hon?" Then something dawns on him and it clicks. His shoulders sag. "How do you even know about that?"

"The Internet."

You glimpse at his face. He's visibly upset. "You know better than that, Y/N."

"So that woman...?" You hate this line of questioning. You hate having to invade his privacy in this manner. But it's all on the table so you might as well straighten the whole thing out. No reason to keep assuming things that may hold no truth to them. "The older woman...?"

Something like hurt crosses his features but he's quick to turn his face to the side, his jaw tightening. Not only have you allowed yourself to feed into the speculations but he can't understand the shame and resentment attached to your words. "I slept with a 25-year-old woman, yes."

So, the rumors about Hailey are also probably true. It hurts. Because it couldn't have been that long ago. What's his definition of a while? A week. A month. You begin to shift in his lap. Embarrassed. And a little humiliated. Emotions you'd never really felt in his presence before but emotions that have consumed you more times than you can count as of late.

"I need my bra." You have no right to be upset. Nor feel entitled to an explanation. He's an adult. An attractive adult with a sex drive. What did you expect? For him to magically correctly guess that you've had feelings for him since you were children? And for him to abstain himself from sex in the hopes that one day you would finally come clean and the two of you could live happily ever after? Besides, he would never hold your sexual history against you. So, what made it acceptable for you to do so?

"Please stop doing that," but his protest is futile. You climb off his lap and self-consciously cross your arms over your chest before stumbling in the dark for your bra and shirt. "You're mad at me because I had sex with an older woman?"

"You just said you haven't had sex in a while."

"That was months ago. Several months."

You grab onto something that looks like a shirt. It's his. You decide to pull it over your chest nonetheless. It smells like him. Overwhelmingly so. Your heart sinks at the realization that no matter what you do, Shawn does not and will never belong to you. No matter if you wear him or sleep with him.

"You're punishing me for having slept with other women? What's the big fucking deal?"

The pain in his voice slices through you like a sharp knife. You continue to fish about for your jeans. It's eerily quiet but his question continues to ring in your ears, taunting words that have been wilting on the tip of your tongue for ages dying for the opportunity to tumble down. The presence of a comfortable heat behind you indicates his newfound proximity and soon, strong arms wrap around you. He presses you against his chest, the latter warm and inviting, and you melt into him. "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

Your heart rate picks up almost instantly. A stark contrast to the slow rhythmic beating of his heart against your back. You swallow, your throat dry, hoping to push down whatever string of words trying to claw past your esophagus. There's a desperation attached to those words—a desperation you've had to suppress for the last several years. You begin to think that perhaps this is the end of the road. That there is no turning back. There is no friendship to salvage, the latter having evaporated the moment you slept together, destroying whatever hope you had to fall back into old ways. His arms tighten around you. It's almost therapeutic. He's always been a good anchor. You can't remember why telling him had been such a bad idea. This is Shawn. Your best friend. The few people who had been there for you again and again. Yet you've kept this secret—this all consuming, toxic secret that had done nothing but drive a wedge in the friendship.

"It bothered me."

"Why?”

The words are stuck, gathered on the tip of your tongue but cannot physically slip past. What if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings? What if tonight meant nothing more than a hookup to him? What if your profession of love upsets him? You’d be fundamentally altering the dynamics of your friendship without any sort of heads up, something he never signed up for. He’d be blindsided. That was a selfish thing to do. Suddenly… you remember why telling him was such a bad idea.

You turn around in his arms, opting to wallow in the heat of his embrace a little longer and circle your arms around him. You hold onto him for deal life. You hold onto him for present you and for future you. Future you will undoubtedly need it the most.

His heartbeat is no longer slow and rhythmic. It’s fast and erratic. He’s bracing himself for something, it seems. You gaze up at him, soul crushing at the fear reflecting back in his eyes.

“Why?” He repeats, voice trembling.

He’s caught on and willing you to say it. To put those three little words out there, to lay them bare and be vulnerable. To be honest. It sounds nice in theory but in practice... Maybe you’re a coward and will continue to adamantly guard your heart because the alternative promises the possibility of having your heart broken by the one person who can cause irreversible damage. Maybe deep down, you don’t believe him and stand by previously made assumptions. Maybe painting him in this unsavory light will make it easier for you distance yourself from him. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

You stand on your tiptoes and kiss his neck, lips lingering on the sensitive skin a beat too long. Arms loosen. He doesn’t protest as you walk over to grab your purse by the coffee table. You catch sight of your jeans tucked beneath the piece of furniture and pull them on hurriedly. You’re full-on crying now, desperately attempting to muffle each sob.

Hand cradling the doorknob, you pause, a new wave of hesitation threatening to pull you under. Glancing in his direction—something you immediately regret—you hold his gaze, rapidly blinking the tears rimming your eyes, afraid to lose even a millisecond of this moment, and try to convey the sincerest of apologies. At last, you let the door creak shut, catching a final glimpse of Shawn’s flushed face and the lone tear that slides down his cheek.

He’ll never forgive you.

Hell, you’ll never forgive yourself.

[southernxwolf]

TASK #24: MEET THE MUNS

OOC About Your Character(s)

1.     What do you want to get out of playing this character(s)?

To watch her continuously grow and evolve as both a person and a wolf.

2.     Describe your character(s) with three words.

Kind, insecure, strong

3.     What made you decide to write this muse?

She was just an idea that I came up with about..six or seven years ago, who’s evolved with time and the different role plays that she’s in. She’s a part of me, and I honestly don’t feel right in a group unless I have her.

4.     If you could change one event in your muse’s life (in their main or canon verse), what would you change?

Really, nothing. Everything that she’s been through, including her current loss, has made her into the person that she is. The good and the bad, it’s all part of her.

5.     If you could tell your muse one thing, what would you tell them?

Breathe girl. You have to take care of yourself if you want to continue taking care of others.

6.     If you could give your muse one gift, what would you give them?

A spa day. And she’d probably give it to someone else lol.

7.     If you had to take one positive thing away from your muse, what would you take away?

Some of her selflessness. It can be so self-destructive at times, as she doesn’t know when to say no.

8.     If you could “borrow” one aspect of your muse and apply it to yourself or your own life, what would you borrow?

Her selflessness as well! In all, it’s one of her best and worst qualities.

9.     Do you genuinely want your muse to be happy? What do you think would make them most happy in life?

I really do! Even though it may not seem like it at times. After all that she’s been through she deserves to be happy.

10. Do you enjoy putting your muse through angst? What do you think would break their heart the most?

I do, but only to an extent. Too much can get to be unrealistic as well as taxing on my motivation.

11. What do you love about your muse?

Her compassion, strength, sense of humor, nerdiness. And I sure wish that I could cook like her!

12. What do you hate about your muse?

Sometimes she sees the good in the wrong people, even though it can be right in front of her face. And she could stand up for herself more.

13. What about your muse amuses you?

How awkward and silly she can be. She really does have a goober sense of humor and doesn’t take herself too seriously most of the time.

14. What about your muse makes you sad?

What a sadness magnet she always seems to be. Even when I try to keep her happy, some outside factor always seems to make things come crashing onto her head lol.

15. How would you describe your muse to someone about to meet them, in person, for the first time?

This is Qhuinn! She’s a sweetheart who will talk your ear off about Harry Potter and anything else pop culture, but then make you cupcakes to make up for annoying you.

16. Would you like your muse as a person if you met them in real life?

I would adore her, honestly. We would have lots of laughs and movie nights and I would ask her to teach me to cook.

17. In what ways are you better than your muse? In what ways are they better than you?

I think that I’m less selfless and trusting than she is. I’m definitely more guarded. So in a way, she’s better than me because she is all of that. I swear this makes perfect sense in my head lol.

18. Why do you think you connect to your muse?

I think that we’re a lot a like in many ways, and that she’s like the best friend or sister that I always wish that I had.

19. What aspect of your muse’s personality is most important to you? What aspect of your muse’s personality do you think is most important to them? Is it the same? Why or why not?

Her compassion, and it’s the same for Qhuinn. She tries as hard as she can to hold on to that compassion and her humanity, which makes what’s currently happening to her all the more fascinating to me.

20. Has your character(s) changed over the time that you have been playing them? How have they changed?

Oh yeah, I find that she’s changed quite a bit. What makes her fundamentally Qhuinn is still the same, but she’s no longer the clueless young wolf who was scared of her own shadow. She’s grown into a strong and competent wolf and woman.

About You!

1.     What is your name?

Alecia

2.     What is your profession?

Housecleaner, cook, laundry person, Uber driver, private tutor/councelor/physician..or just a mom :P

3.     What do you do to relax?

Read, watch TV/movies, lock myself in my room with my cats, play The Sims 4

4.     What is your favorite treat (desert)?

Anything with chocolate

5.     Favorite movie

Steel Magnolias

6.     Favorite book

Little Women

7.     Favorite vacation spot

Disney World or Gatlinburg, Tennessee

8.     Favorite Disney movie

Sleeping Beauty

9.     How did you first get into role playing?

I had seen Harry Potter rp’s floating around Facebook and just decided to give it a try one day.

10. What was your first platform? If it was something other than Tumblr, what made you get into Tumblr?

Chatzy, then Facebook for quite a few years, then finally Tumblr. I got into Tumblr because I was looking to get out of Harry Potter rp’s and into something different and more adult and was told that Tumblr was the place to look

11. What’s a grammar rule you find yourself breaking or ignoring a lot?

I use way..too…many…ellipses lol

12. Are there any languages besides English in which you think you could comfortably roleplay?

Just English for me!

13. Do you listen to music while your write?

When I’m alone, which isn’t often at all. Otherwise I’m watching TV/movies/YouTube videos

14. Are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer?

Afternoon. That’s when my mind is the most awake

15. How does tiredness affect your writing?

It can greatly affect it. I either ramble or sit and stare at the same reply for twenty minutes. There is no in-between

16. What is your biggest obstacle to writing every day, if time doesn’t count?

Distractions. But in a way, I think that it’s made me a better role-player? I’m so used to being interrupted and distracted that I can pretty much rp through anything. I can leave a draft for hours and come back and finish it without a problem. It’s definitely made me more understanding and flexible. So that, and motivation. But I know that I’m certainly not alone in that this year!

17. How many drafts is a paralyzing amount?

Anything over twenty per character

18. Is there anything character-wise or writing style-wise that you can’t stand?

God-modding, writing that obviously has had no thought or effort at all put into it, and when things are just assumed instead of me being communicated with.

19. What kind of anonymous questions are your favorite?

Anything that makes me think about my muses, or is just fun even if it’s a bit mindless. Sometimes we all need those, they’re like palate cleansers for the muse!

20. What is your weakest point in writing? Angst, fluff, dialogue, etc.?

Angst, but only if I’m the one who has to think of it lol. And smut. I don’t often think that I’m the best and find myself to be too repetitive sometimes.

[pwnyta]

AGE OF ULTRON BOTHERS ME OK. Like... I ENJOYED IT. I thought it was a fun romp but if I think about it beyond just watching cool fight scenes its fucking irritating.

So Im gonna give my suggestions on how to fix it so it doesnt feel like Whedon disregarded every other movie that he had no part in..

HERE GOES.

First off... this should be a movie that completely cements the Avengers as a team. Ultron should try AND FAIL to put a divide in the Avengers. Loki already broke them up and Whedon absolutely knows that Civil War is coming and its gonna happen again so THIS movie should be one where the Avengers are the most SOLID OF UNITS.

Especially Steve and Tony. Steve distrust of Tony is baseless and obnoxious... it made some sense in the first movie because Tonys attitude in public and thats all Steve got plus Lokis discourse stick adding fuel to the fire... FINE. But its shitty in this movie and makes Cap look like a fucking moronic prick... because REALLY trusting the chick that mind raped you and tried to murder you over your fucking teammate? JANKY and makes you look like an incompetent leader (though the writers would ignore that fact because theyre too scared to let Steve make mistakes... but w/e)

The one area I can see them actually arguing or disagreeing is Tony making Vision after what happens with Ultron. Tony points out hes been making AI for a long ass time without issue and Cap says its not worth it, Tony argues damned if we dont maybe not damned if we do.... scuffle happens, Vision happens, Thor pops in, Stark was right... Cap and Tony have a heart to heart because theyre friends and they make up...

At some point before Wanda and Pietro switch sides, Wanda learns that Tony wasnt the one selling weapons... maybe when Ultron is talking about him learning shit from the internet and deciding humanity should just fuck off (a fair assessment honestly) one of the things he mentions is Tony being carelessness and Stane selling weapons under the table... and it starts sinking in in that moment that shes been attacking a man who had no real part in her parents death, but then Ultrons like Im gonna kill everyone and thats when Wanda and Pietro dip out.

The scene where Clint is talking to Wanda and Pietro should be a reconciliation between them and Tony instead... maybe a conversation about how he understands how it is to be the bad guy and hurt people because of grief... were not so different you and I and all that... and it would sting even harder in Civil War when Tony once again lets his grief consume him and he lashes out at Steve and Bucky.

Wanda getting to have a heart to heart with a character shes wronged most of all and trying to be a better person by helping the fight against Ultron would humanize her more and it would give her losing her brother a lot more of a sting. I think anyways.

CLINT SHOULD HAVE SHIT TO DO. I think Ive said this before but they should have Clint have a family but absolutely not have Clint go to his family home when hes being hunted down by a homicidal fuckin robot....ya know? He brings them to a safe house, the Avengers are still a little awkward and making comments... theres pictures of Clint with his wife and kids and Nat ‘these are agents.‘ ‘...the kids?‘ ‘...smaller agents...‘... at the end of the movie when theyre victorious we see a scene where Clint goes to another home and hes greeted by his wife and kids and were like OMG THEYRE ACTUALLY REAL AND NOT JUST A COVER? IDK what else to do with Clint...

Nat and Bruce woulda been fine but they should been the main source of animosity within the Avengers. Nat manipulated and lied to Bruce to get him into SHIELDs grasp and Bruce almost killed Natasha. Though theyre civil with each other in the end it would be interesting to see their relationship start to fester when theyre in a desperate situation. Maybe they get separated from the group and are forced to confront their negativity toward each other... and dont really make up until near the end of the movie. Natasha continuously thinks she can handle a situation alone (secretly shes afraid that Bruces anger for her will cause the Hulk to lash out at her too and Thor isnt around to stop him no one is... she'd be alone) and does a pretty good job fighting off the bad guys herself, but eventually theyre cornered and Bruce says they need Hulk... and she says no and they argue and Bruce does it anyways and takes out the bots coming after them and when he turns, Nat is clearly scared like she was that first time... Hulk reaches out to her because hes not just a mindless beast and she faces and conquers her fear and they work well together.

Bruce watching Natasha keep him safe and be there for him (maybe theres a point where SHE could save herself and leave Bruce but she doesnt) and she in turn sees that Bruce/Hulk isnt something that she needs to be scared of. EXCELLENT. If they wanna hint a maybe romance after that fine... I prefer it not happen but at least theres some material to work with. Bruce takes off at the end because he still cant deal with what happened earlier in the movie with him ripping apart a city... so hes off to Ragnarok as scheduled.

Thor.......... I dunno. Like Clint its a bit hard to work with him in this movie. He can do what hes doing in the movie I guess? but like... let him have some connection... maybe hes the one who calms Hulk down since Nats not there... but instead of just talking at Hulk hes like 'hey buddy!!' and Hulks like RRAWRRRR and Thor yells at him back and is like 'LOL -PUNCH- lets get going' and Hulk is like '-huff huff- -looks angry-.....k'. IDFK. But itd be cool since Ragnarok they became buddies anyways....

Rhodey should have been in contact with the Avengers in the movie more. There is a scene where hes talking with Tony and Nat over a computer but it was cut... but they should have given him that scene and him updating the Avengers on what hes doing (finding Fury and getting SHIELDs help or w/e) and Whedon not even letting Sam come back for the finally is unforgivable..

but I guess it would really highlight the fact he sidelined the 3 black guys and only let them come in in the end.... but Sam being sent to find Bucky was a shitty way to get rid of him. But it just makes it clear the movies after the Avengers was disregarded- Whedon doesnt know what to do with Sam (whos introd in Cap2), Rhodey is back to being War Machine with no explanation(even though in IM3 hes Iron Patriot), Fury is back with SHIELD (even though SHIELD was dismantled and Fury left)...

Rhodey being Iron Patriot could have been hilarious too... and also gave Steve and Rhodey some kind of connection. Just have him land by Cap in that ridiculous suit and Cap looks at him and he looks at Cap and Tonys like 'Well one of you needs to change...' and then in Civil War when Rhodey is back to War Machine... itd be kind of hilarious. They can even have another running gag where people keep fake mistaking them as the same person and theyre like 'ALRIGHT I FUCKING GET IT' 'LANGUAGE~~'

But youd need the writers to actually care about Rhodey... AND THEY FUCKIN DONT. All of them. Theyre all to blame.

..Where was I...

Also literally ONE scene with Vision and Tony... maybe at the very end... because Tony losing his most consistent/closest confidant and only RDJ looking devastated because he seems to be the only one who cares about Tonys bots/AIs kinda sucks. I mean Whedon admitted that he didnt think JARVIS was all that important didnt he? Garbo.

...IDK what else... but you know what I mean? Im so sick of heroes fighting each other... its cool and sad every once in awhile but literally every movie doesnt have to be that.

Will anyone read my rambling nonsense? Probably not... but I have a lot of feelings. AoU and BvS ...why do you gotta suck so hard.

[cainightfics]

wow, you have an interesting perspective on the future of humanity. it's somewhat uplifting and relieving. all problems seem insignificant. i had similar thoughts about the future of my country. but i never thought about global destruction. thanks for sharing this information, i want to look deeper and maybe recognize some imminent signs of global doom lol

haha "interesting" is one word for it i guess. dont even get me started or ill go on forever but yeah im 100% a collapsenik doomer. if you want some overviews of the basics of this stuff you could check out the podcast "breaking down: collapse" or "it could happen here." unfortunately a lot of the discussion surrounding these issues is america-centric, and ignores a lot of very big global issues that are clear harbingers of collapse. the famine in yemen, for example, or last years hunga tonga–hunga haʻapai volcano eruption, which was more powerful than any nuclear bomb and released enough vapour into the atmosphere to speed up global warming exponentially. like i say, its not just one issue. its thousands of issues, happening everywhere all the time, creating feedback loops which exponentially spiral out of control. We Are Fucked lol.

to put things into perspective, even if all of global production stopped right now and we found a way to hit climate goals of 2C warming (which we won't, and depending on how far back you measure the baseline, we've already gone past 2C warming since the pre-industrial era), the feedback loops of climate change will nonetheless create such high concentrations of methane and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere that by 2100 every human on earth will experience such low oxygen levels that they will all be mentally disabled.

there is nothing that can stop the upcoming shitstorm. theres too many problems, and even if we all worked together to solve one, the others will kill us anyway. i'd say once oil production begins to halt (which is estimated to be around 2040) collapse will really hit us full-force. we NEED petrochemical fertilizers to grow enough food to support our current population, it's nonnegotiable. our civilization is dependent on oil down to our most basic of needs. once the oil is gone, there will be unprecedented amounts of death. and there is no replacement for oil. it took millions of years of fossil carbon remains decaying in the earth to create it. even if human civilization survives, in small pockets somewhere, the current world as we know it will be dead forever. we will never get it back, for better or for worse.

i think the current state of society is denial, cluelessness, and panic. everyone knows its bad, but very few know how bad it really is. just the thought of the impending doom in our collective future is enough to drive loads of people to suicide, addiction, or mindless consumption as a self-soothing mechanism. the fact is, its over. we have a few decades left before everything before us is just a glittering memory of our self-indulgent past. on the one hand, it will mark the end of capitalism, and thus the end of the cycle of exploitation and consumption that has caused so much human suffering. on the other hand, the suffering of the future will perhaps be even greater.

anyways ill stop myself before i go rambling on (remember earlier when i said i can rant about this forever?). i’d be happy to chat about it more with anyone whos interested, but its not exactly light nice stuff to have show up on your dash on a sunday, so im sorry to anyone who read this and is now freaked out. but all of this is just the beginning of why i am an alcoholic lol

[floral-suits]

dont know if you’re taking requests but here’s an ideia: y/n doesn’t have a pretty good relationship with her family and she hates everything including family time ( especially xmas) y/n and h aren’t dating for a very long time and this is their first xmas as a couple so H is really excited but y/n is the grinch herself. Maybe H sets up a little surprise for her? nothing really big but something really cute and a nice memory thanks xx

You had promised Harry that the two of you would travel back to (your home town) for Christmas, considering you had went to Harry’s last year. If you hadn’t gone with him, you would’ve stayed alone in London for the holidays, and that just wasn’t okay. At least, according to Harry. He told you, ‘No one deserves to be alone on Christmas’ and then brought you with him. He had asked you about why you didn’t just go with your family though and then came to find the truth; you didn’t have a good relationship with them. At all.

Harry said that he was going to fix that, because he was positive that you were exaggerating, and that they probably missed you. You tried to tell him multiple times that you weren’t at all and that they really were in fact grinches, but he stayed on his ground. Somehow he got you to agree with him and now the two of you are on a flight going back to where you grew up.

You ignore Harry at first, as he makes puppy dog faces next to you. He was trying so so hard to make this a holiday to remember, buying first class seats and everything. The gestures that he made were so sweet and you really don’t want to let him down by saying that this just wasn’t going to be a good one.

“C’mon, Y/N, cheer up buttercup! Even if they’re as bad as you say, I’m still here, right?” Harry coos into your ear.

You stop giving him the silent treatment once you hear this, “Oh, baby. It could never be bad if you’re with me, but I’m telling you, they’re no good people. They aren’t like me,” you tell him.

“It’ll be okay. I brought them nice little presents, hopefully they warm up to me, yea?” Harry asks as he unbuckles the both of your seats, seeing the sign change from red to green.

He lifts you up by your hips and sets you in his lap, making you giggle a bit. Harry continues to tell you his plans; he brought a hotel room for the two of you to stay in for the week that was close to your parents’ house.

You don’t tell him about how you haven’t been in that house in over four years. You don’t tell him about how you originally came to live in London, you don’t tell him that you ran away from home. You only told him how ecstatic your parents were when you called saying the words, ‘I’ll be home for Christmas’. They didn’t care that you were with a boy, they just wanted to see you, maybe even get you to forgive them for all the mindless fighting. But you knew that the fights weren’t over and that one would probably break out all too soon once Harry and you walk through the french doors of the house.

Honestly, your mom isn’t even too bad, it’s your dad. He’s this strict, mocking, and cruel man. Nothing was ever good enough for him and it made you so insecure as a child.

Soon enough, the flight lands and the two of you are off to the car rental place, getting whichever vehicle was quickest and easiest to buy. You end up with a Subaru and with that, you and Harry pack your luggage into the truck.

“I want to drive it, Y/N,” Harry whines as you get into the driver seat before he can.

“You don’t know your way around, why would you drive?” you laugh at his stubbornness. He takes what you say into consideration for a moment before shrugging his shoulders, realizing you have a good point.

You guys drive off from the airport until you reach the hotel that Harry had bought rooms at. You gasp, suddenly realizing the hotel that Harry had chosen. You knew the name of it, but you didn’t realize it was this one. The one that only the richest and fanciest people of the county went in. As a child, you used to always want to go inside and check it out.

You tell Harry this and he chuckles, “Only the best for you, baby girl.”

Harry has you go to the front desk to get the keys to your room as he handles getting the suitcases out of the trunk. He insisted that he could carry it all.

As you get settled in the room with Harry, you receive a phone call from your mother. “Yes?” you ask, quite brattily if you’re being honest. You put the phone on speaker mode.

“Just wanted to know when you and Harry are going to be stopping by,” she says in an overly cheery voice, probably trying to kiss up to you.

“We’ll come in on Christmas to exchange gifts, I believe Harry brought you guys something…” you say, wanting the conversation to end. Harry frowns from across the room.

“Oh well that’s awfully sweet of him! We can’t wait to meet him, Y/N! I’ll stop bothering you for now, ta ta!” you breathe a sigh of relief and mutter ‘thank god’ under your breath as your mom hangs up the phone.

“You’ve got to make an effort to be nice to them as well, Y/N,” Harry sighs, cuddling into bed next to you.

You wrap your arms around his body and curl your legs in between his, “I’ll try, babe.”

______

Before you know it, it’s December twenty fifth and Harry and you are heading down the rocky road to the house that you grew up in as a child.

“You’ve got this, darling. I’m gonna be right here with you,” Harry gives you a few words of encouragement while squeezing your hand.

You nod along, needing the extra support. The door opens a few seconds later and you see your mother standing there, “Come on in! You must be Harry, I’m Y/N’s mother! You can call me (your mom’s name)!” she exclaims.

The two of you shake off the snow on your boots and settle yourselves in the living room by the tree.

Harry places the presents down next to the others gathered around.

“(your dad’s name) come in, Y/N and Harry are finally here,” you hear your mother shout.

The strict face that you had to see everyday growing up enters the room, only looking a little bit aged.

“So, you’ve finally settled for a lad, aye?” your dad starts putting you down immediately, not even trying to act fake in front of Harry.

“(your dad’s name)! Stop it right now!” your mom slaps him on the shoulder, not believing that he can’t be nice to you for one minute. “Oh please, so, Y/N, are you still in school?” he asks.

“No,” you tell him, he interrupts before you can say that you’re already out because you’ve earned your degree.

“What do you mean no? I did not raise a child like this!” he snarls into your face.

You feel Harry’s large hand that was rubbing your hand tighten a bit, he’s probably only now realizing what a mistake this was.

“For your information, sir, she isn’t in school because she finished,” Harry shouts out, not being able to control himself.

“And what about you, young man? Have you?” your father questions with a smirk on his face.

“No, he isn’t, dad. He’s incredibly successful, a musician,” you stand up for your boyfriend.

“I forbid you from dating a musician, Y/N, I didn’t raise my girl to settle for such an ignorant uneducated man!”

You stand up and give a sad smile to your mom who’s crying on the couch. “We’re leaving,” is all you say before taking Harry’s hand and dragging him out the door.

As the two of you get buckled into the car, Harry suddenly speaks up. “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N, I didn’t realize that it was like that. If I did, I swear I never would’ve pressured you to take me back,” he starts rambling.

You put your hand over his, “Forget about it Harry, they don’t matter. He can’t forbid me from dating you, I’m a grown woman.”

“That’s my girl, now how about we go out to eat, forget about them for a bit?” Harry suggests and you nod. “I know just the place!”

You bring him to the small diner that you used to go to with your friends as a teen.

“Y/N!” a voice screams out.

“Judith! How are you? It’s been too long!” you catch up with the owner who ended up being more like a parental figure to you.

“Great, I’ve missed your smile. And who’s this?”

“Oh gosh, this is my boyfriend Harry, Harry meet Judith!” you introduce them to each other and Harry quickly turns his charm on, shaking her hand with an eager smile.

Judith sets both of you up in a booth in the back, the one you used to always sit in with your friends.

“Let me get you two some hot chocolate, I’m sure you’re cold. On the house,” she says, walking away before you or Harry can argue.

___

A/N - sorry if this wasn’t what you wanted lol I made the family issues like super extreme because I needed a bit of drama whoops. Also sorry that this is hella short. OH also sorry because the ending was horrible. Scrap that, the whole thing was.

[jeanjauthor]

So I saw the impeach trump thing on my local news and I thought, Ms (mrs? Your imperial highness?)Johnson will be posting this soon, and I was right.

Ms is fine, lol…and yeah.  I knew the moment Trump called for Russia to “find her emails” back during the campaign, in that moment I knew he was colluding with Russia.  Trump telegraphs his moves.  How so?  Several factors.

First, there’s a saying:  You see most often in others a reflection of what is actually in you.  Trump claims horrible things are being done by others, but they’re mostly things that he is doing himself.  Second, as an apparent narcissistic sociopath, he cannot help but gloat whenever he’s pulling a con on someone.  It’s evident in the way he smirks, the way he drawls…he gloats.  Third, he can’t lie for shit (pardon my language), because his innocence-look is too scripted, too studied, too acted…and fourth, he always tells such big bold-faced lies that he always has to walk them back at some point…but he tells them to conceal the biggest awful truths.

Calling upon a foreign government to hack into his poiltical opponent’s emails IS an act of treason.  Calling publicly for that treasonous act is so outrageously huge, “no one would believe it was true”…except those of us who’ve been studying this guy for years, even for decades.

Now, why have I been studying Trump?  For overblown villain traits, such as narcissism, egomaniac qualities, sociopathy, psychopathy, grifting, conman activities, schmoozing and oozing a trail of slime wherever he goes.  He’s the boldest liar in the world, mixing in fact and fantasy in such overblown quantities that you’d swear he’d be a laughingstock villain on the silver screen…but that’s part of his protective camouflage.  He uses glitter and gilded paint to spruce up the bullshit he sells, making it look attractively solid like gold-leafed concrete…but in the end, it’s just a wall made of shit.

Someone on Twitter pointed out that he sells false images of wealth and prestige to gullible poor folk who desperately want to be seen as “rich folks just having a minor, temporary setback right now.”  No one actually rich would bother buying a Trump Steak, for example. It’s not good enough quality as a meat to even poke a sterling silver fork at in disdain.

But Trump stages everything to make it seem attractive and emulation-worthy, and so you end up paying $40 for a mediocre chunk of meat that shouldn’t even cost you $8.  It’s the ultimate con, convincing you that if you eat his name-branded stuff, wear his name-branded clothes, sleep in his name-branded hotels, you’ll “lead a life just as exciting and wealthy!!” as his seems to be.

His wealth is based on lies, more lies, conning people, shortsheeting people, stiffing almost everyone who ever works with him, claiming all the glory even for the stuff he never touched (which is often why it succeeds) and blaming anyone but himself and his ideas if anything goes wrong, falls through, or winds up terrible in quality, etc.

He’s fascinating as a character study, but absolutely horrific as a leader.  He’s a conman who sold out America for shady deals with foreign enemies…who are so very, very much better at these games than him.

America, “…you in danger, girl.”

…And the really painful part?  The GOP is so wrapped up in trying to push their unwanted kleptocratic oligarchic agendas that they are aiding & abetting him, and thus colluding in his treason by not stopping it cold, hard and fast, right away.  They are so ass-over-heads deep into Party > Patriotism, that they don’t see they are being used horrifically by Trump’s puppetmaster, too.  The longer Trump stays in power, the more control over this nation Putin holds.

I’m deeply worried about the hundreds of mid-level officials that Trump’s Administration has settled into jobs in and around the capital and the Executive Branch, positions that don’t need congressional hearings for approval.  Are they neo-Nazi alt-righters?  Are they Russian spies & plants?  Are they both?  “Heyyy, Donny, we got some guys who’ll do good work for you, they’re solid white supremacists just like you, it’s just that they need some jobs in X and Y and H Departments.  You’ll do us a solid by appointing them, and then we’ll owe you one, right, comrade?”

Am I going overboard in my imagination?  …Maybe.Can we take the chance that this is not true?  …No.

No.  We cannot take that chance.

Do I think the impeachment will go anywhere right away?  No.  The GOP is so deep in the mud of their own wallowings that there’s no way for them to pull out of the slops and get ouf of their sty anytime soon.  They’re ripe for manipulating and for slaughtering by Russia…except Russia wants to keep them there, destroying the American government through partisan politics and neo-conservatism.

Russia’s just now starting to step up the shit-smearing campaigns once again.  Watch.  There’ll be all sorts of claims on the internet, articles and memes trying to sully the truth with the filth of doubt.  The whole “FakeNewsMedia” spiel is part and parcel of it.  All of it is gaslighting, a massive campaign to gaslight the nation’s perceptions of the facts, and thus the truth.

Some of this is frighteningly efficient in the way it’s being done.  I’d say that’s the work of Russian efforts at studying psychological warfare, to couple it with and render more effective their cyberwarfare attacks.  Some of this is unbelievably stupid…such as Trump Junior’s stupidly blatant confession of his intent to commit treason last summer.  Conmen–Trump & kids, save for maybe Barron–tend to trip themselves up at some point.  It’s a rare grifter who can invent the perfect, unassailable…and unimpeachable…lie.

So yes, long story short, I did post it.  Why?  Because if we flood Members of Congress with demands for impeachment, and remind them that their jobs are very much on the line, we might get it done.  Get out Trump, get out his adult kids, get out Mike Pence (who very much is a part of this, even if he’s desperately trying to play the ingenue), get out McConnell (who literally sold the nation to the enemy to secure his wife’s offered Cabinet position, a modern day #30silvercoins Judas), and so on and so forth…including, hopefully, everyone Trump appointed, and everyone they appointed into the government.

By the way, the concept of Marvel’s evil organization, Hydra, is very much alive and real…and the neoNazis are desperate to emulate it, because it is very, very effective.

But I’ll end the speculative ramblings here.  It sucks to be used to finding very uncomfortably plausible connections among seemingly disparate plot threads.  I’ve been a modern-day Cassandra for over a year now, weeping in grief every time my warnings pass by so blatantly ignored.  It’s exhausting finding out my top 10% worst fears are coming true day after day in slow chaotic unravelings.

…And we still have to fight for Net Neutrality, and we still have to fight for adequate healthcare, and we still have to fight for our Constitutional Rights, and we still have to fight for…

To be completely honest?  I’d be even more pissed if it had been HRC colluding with Russia.  I can understand why Trump is doing it.  Thinking about it hurts to think that way, but after studying him, and conmen in general, I understand.  Plus the whole Russia-is-flattering-him and the white-supremacy stuff...  It hurts to think that way, and I am angry about it.  But I’m not surprised he’s doing it.  HRC...would be a betrayal beyond words.  Except, she wouldn’t have done it.  She’s too smart, too savvy, too aware of the ramifications and the consequences...whereas the Trumps are too ignorant of what they’ve gotten themselves into, and too dumb to actually acquire and heed competent help.  And yet, too cunning not to get away with it, thanks to the GOP’s mindless party-over-national-interests.