#we will get them back together eventually!

[harknessxo]

Cigarettes out the Window

Paring: Sugar!mommy!Agatha Harkness x reader

Summary: You go into a fight with your parents about your grades and ran to the only safe place you know, Agatha.

Warnings; age gap, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut, girl penis, mommy kink.

Word Count: 6.1k

A/n: So Agatha becomes reader’s sugar mommy at the end basically but it’s not mentioned.

“A d, Y/n!? Really?!” Your mom yelled angrily.

“It’s just the first quarter! I’ll get the grade up!” You yelled back.

“You know how much hard earned money we are spending to send you to college and this is how you repay us!?” Your dad exclaimed.

You had come back home from taking one of your college classes and were bombarded by your parents about your grade in one of them. This had been going on for a couple minutes and by this point, tears stained your cheeks as you tried to reason with your parents.

“I’m sorry! I’m trying my best-“

“Well it’s clearly not enough! You better get it together before we stop funding your tuition.” Your dad said firmly, leaving you stunned.

“You…You can’t do that!”

“Oh yes we can and we will if you don’t bring your grades up.” You stayed silent looking at them with hurt in your eyes before running up the stairs and into your room. You slammed the door shut, sliding down it, taking a seat in front of it while hugging your knees. You started to sob as you replayed their hurtful words in your mind.

You knew you should have moved out the second you had the chance but when they offered to pay for college you couldn’t resist. Westview University was ten minutes from your parents’ house so it made no sense to move out.

You cried until you had no more tears left. As you started to get up off of the floor, you looked at your night stand where your pack of cigarettes laid and remembered what your lovely neighbor Agatha had told you. ‘If you ever feel unsafe or need an escape, my backyard gate is always unlocked for you.’

You were so grateful for her. She lived five houses down from yours. Agatha was always so sweet to you and your only true friend as embarrassing as it sounded, especially because you were twenty and she was in her fifties. She knew almost everything about you because you always told her everything. She was also very rich. She had a very stable career which always made you question how she ended up being your friend. She was your safe place when your room wasn’t enough.

You quickly snatched the pack of cigarettes and sneaked out your window. It was already dark outside so you went unnoticed as you walked over to her house. You were careful to make noise as you opened the gate latch as you sneak inside. You knew Agatha still wasn’t home, her car wasn’t in the driveway and it was a Friday which meant she was probably staying late at work.

You took a seat at the edge of her pool, dipping your feet in the water and pulled out your lighter, lighting a cigarette on before taking a long drag. You didn’t really like smoking, neither did Agatha, she always told you how bad it was for you but it calmed you down in stressful situations like this.

As you were finishing up your cigarette, you heard the living room sliding door open and looked up to find Agatha leaning against it wearing her work tux.

“Hey, sweet girl. How was your day?” she asked with a sweet smile on her face which quickly dropped when she saw your tear stained cheeks. She ran towards you and brought you into her arms, hugging you tightly. You let yourself fall apart in her arms, sobbing what was still left inside you.

“Shh, it’s okay, sweetheart. You’re safe with me,” she soothed you, rubbing your back so softly. You stayed like this for a little while, you curled up in her lap while she rocked you back and forth, whispering sweet nothings into your ear.

Eventually, your sobs turned into soft whimpers and your tears dried up. She pulled away from you slightly, her hands still on your waist, and looked at you with a sympathetic expression.

“What happened sweet girl?” she asked, her voice as soft as ever.

“I can’t do this anymore, Aggie. I came home from uni only to be bombarded by my parents about my grades. I got a D in one of my classes and they went crazy about it. It’s just the first quarter! I’m trying my best but they said it isn’t enough and threatened to stop paying for my tuition. What am I gonna do?” You spilled your guts out.

She listened to you intently as you vented to her, her expression growing sadder as you continued. She sighed and pulled you back into a tight hug and you leaned into her warmth.

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m so sorry that happened,” she whispered, wiping your tears away, “You’re working so hard, baby. It’s unfair that they’re treating you like this,” she took a deep breath, “I’ve been wanting to ask you something but haven’t found the right time until now.”

“What is it?” you asked curiously, looking her in the eye. She gently took your hands in hers and started to play with your fingers as she spoke.

“Why don’t you move in with me, hm? You won’t have your parents to nag you about anything and maybe you can…” she grimaced, holding the pack of cigarettes up, “leave these behind. How does that sound?”

“I couldn’t possibly do that, Aggie. I don’t want to be a burden plus my parents would most definitely stop paying for tuition then-“

“You are no burden, sweet girl,” she cut you off, “And so what if your parents stop paying for your tuition? I have plenty of money and I can pay for it. You wouldn’t have to worry about anything.” Tears welled up in your eyes again but not from sadness but from happiness as she finished talking. This is the kindest thing anyone has ever done for you.

“Re-really? You would do that for me?” Her heart broke when she saw the tears in your eyes again. She quickly wiped them away and nodded with a smile on her face.

“Of course I would, baby girl. I would do anything for you,” she spoke sincerely, getting closer until your faces were inches apart.

Your heart started pounding in your chest as she got closer to your face. You looked down at her parted lips for a second before finally closing the distance. She returned the kiss immediately, cupping your cheeks, pulling you closer.

She gently bit your bottom lip, pulling away slightly before going back in and swiping her tongue against your lip. She took advantage of the gasp that escaped your mouth to slide her tongue inside, exploring every inch of your mouth. You were so deep in the kiss until you realized what was happening and you pulled away. You didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had.

“I-I’m sorry, Agatha- I should go-“ you tried to get up but quickly grabbed your arm to stop you.

“It’s okay, baby. You don’t have to leave,” she brushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

“You’re…you’re not mad?” She chuckled softly and shook her head. She caressed your cheek, running her thumb across your bottom lip.

“No, silly. I’m not mad. I could never be mad at you,” she said softly, her hand coming down to rest on your thigh, “I kissed you too,” she admitted. You stayed silent in disbelief. You’ve had a crush on her ever since you were in high school but you knew better…until now. Her maternal nature towards you made you feel special and that you were enough, for her at least. After a couple seconds she broke the silence.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s go inside. It’s starting to get cold and I don’t want you getting sick,” she quickly ushered you inside her luxurious house which never failed to amaze you.

“Have you eaten anything, baby?” she asked and you shook your head. With the whole situation with your parents you had forgotten to eat anything. She tsked and led you into the kitchen. She sat you down at the kitchen island and started to make you something to eat. She went through her cabinets and pulled out a packet of ramen noodles.

“How does some ramen sound, hm?”

“It sounds great,” you said, still a bit dozed out thinking of what she had said earlier. She started to cook the noodles, humming softly as she stirred them. Once they were done, she poured them into a bowl and added some seasoning. She set the bowl down in front of you and ruffled your hair affectionately.

“Eat up, baby,” she kissed your temple.

“Why are you doing this for me?” you asked suddenly. She was caught off guard by your question and raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean, sweet girl?” she sat down next to you, tilting her head to the side curiously.

“You’ve always been so sweet to me, taking care of me, looking out for me, and now you’re asking me to move in and pay for me to continue going to college just so I can get away from my parents,” you teared up again, “Why?” She let out a sigh and wrapped an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her side.

“You deserve to be taken care of, baby. You’re a good girl and your parents don’t see that. I can’t sit back and watch you suffer anymore,” she said softly, running her fingers through your hair.

“But-“

“No buts,” she cut you off, “I don’t want to hear any more arguments from you, baby girl. You’re moving in with me, whether you like it or not. Now finish your ramen before they get cold. I’m going to be finishing up some work stuff if you need anything,” she started walking away.

“What about the kiss?” you asked, almost desperate to know. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face you.

“We can talk about it later, okay?” You nodded your head, a bit disappointed but tried not to show it. She saw the disappointment in your eyes and her heart panged. She knew you wanted to talk about the kiss but she wasn’t sure if now was the right time. She gave you a small smile and walked to her home office upstairs.

You turned back to the ramen she had so nicely made for you and ate them slowly as you let your mind run wild. Did she return the same feelings? Was the kiss just in the heat of the moment? Will she get tired of your neediness and throw you out after you move in? The little voice in the back of your mind nagged at you in the voice of your parents like it always did.

After you finished eating, you placed the empty bowl in the sink and started to wander around the house. You didn’t have much to do and the thought of going home was making you feel uneasy. You didn’t want to go back there. So you went to her office, peeking at her working through the cracked door. She looked so beautiful with her reading glasses on.

“I know you’re there, sweetheart. I can feel your eyes on me. You can come in,” she said with a playful tone, all while still looking down at her papers.

“S-sorry. I didn’t want to disturb you,” you said, finally stepping inside, closing the door behind you. She smiled softly and gestured for you to come closer.

“You’re not disturbing me, baby. Come here,” she patted her lap, signaling you to sit on it. You were taken aback by her request yet you didn’t question it and just sat down on her lap. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you closer to her. You could feel her chest against your back as she rested her chin on your shoulder.

“You’re awfully quiet. You’re not usually this quiet, sweet girl,” she said, a hint of concern in her voice.

“I just…,” you turned to face her, “I know you said to talk about it later but I need to know that the kiss meant something to you too.” She looked at you, seeing the desperation in your eyes. She brought her hand up to your face and cupped your cheek, her thumb rubbing small circles on your skin.

“Of course it meant something to me, baby. I wouldn’t have kissed you if it didn’t,” she said gently, tilting your chin up with her fingers. She had always known about your little crush but never pointed it out, not wanting to embarrass you, and it all led to this moment. Your eyes diverted between her eyes and lips before you pulled her into another kiss, this one more desperate, more passionate. She pulled you impossibly closer, her arms tightening around your waist as she took control of the kiss, her tongue slipping into your mouth.

You didn’t hesitate to let her explore your mouth with her tongue. She bit down on your lip and soon the metallic taste of blood filled your tastebuds. You moaned against her lips. She swallowed the moan, a smirk tugging at the corners of her lips as she continued to dominate the kiss. She bit down on your lip harder, breaking the skin and causing more blood to flow into her mouth. She lapped it up like it was honey.

“M…mommy-“ you mumbled against her lips and immediately pulled away when you realized what you said. A smirk formed on her lips when the word slipped. It was something she had been waiting for you to say but had never dared to say out loud, until now. She grabbed your hips and guided you so you were now straddling her.

“Say that again, baby,” she whispered huskily into your ear, her breath sending chills down your spine. You stared at her for a moment. You expected her to laugh in your face or even push you away but not this.

“…mommy,” She let out a low hum of approval as you called her that again. Her hands started to roam up and down your thighs, leaving a burning trail wherever she touched you.

“That’s a good girl. You’re such a good girl for me, aren’t you?” You nodded desperately. She chuckled and ran her fingers through your hair, tugging your head back gently, exposing your neck to her. She placed a kiss on your pulse point, her lips ghosting over your skin as she spoke.

“You look so pretty like this, all desperate and needy for me,” she nibbled at your earlobe, “Mommy is going to take such good care of you, bunny, and you’re going to let her. Isn’t that right?”

“Y-yes,” she hummed, satisfied with your answer. She continued to place kisses on your neck, slowly making her way down to your collarbone, leaving a trail of love bites in her wake.

“Good bunny,” she murmured against your skin before biting down on the sensitive spot on your neck. She wanted to mark you as hers and make sure you remember who you belong to. She suddenly manhandled you up and bent you over her desk, shoving anything in her way to the floor. She ripped your shirt off, throwing it on the floor to join her desk decor. She admired the sight of you underneath her, her eyes roaming up and down your body, taking in every inch of you.

“Such a beautiful girl. All mine, isn’t that right?” she purred, her hands gripping your hips tightly, holding you in place.

“All yours,” you mewled back, letting her do as she pleased with you. She smiled at your obedience, slowly taking off your pants along with your panties. She let her hand come down on your ass with a loud smack, making you yelp. The sound echoed through the room as she admired the red handprint that appeared on your skin.

“That’s my good girl,” she cooed, soothingly running her hand over the spot she just spanked. She then moved her hands up your waist until they reached your breast, getting a handful of them, pressing your naked back against her clothes front.

She chuckled at the way you squirmed against her, feeling how needy you were for her touch. She continued to massage your breasts, her thumbs running over your nipples, feeling them harden under her touch.

“You’re so sensitive, bunny,” she whispered in your ear, her breath tickling your skin.

“I want you mommy,” you whined, rubbing your palm against her crotch. She let out a low groan as you rubbed against her, her hips instinctively bucking forward against your hand.

“Needy little thing, aren’t you? Can’t even wait until I get undressed,” she nipped at your neck, her fingers tweaking your nipples.

“Please?” You pleaded.

She couldn’t deny you when you said please in such a sweet tone. She quickly unbuttoned her shirt and threw it to the floor, her pants following soon after. She turned you around to face her and sat down in her chair, pulling you onto her lap so that you were straddling her once again, her cock already hard.

“You’re gonna have to work for it,” she ran her fingers through your soaked cunt, “You’re so ready for me, baby,” she moaned.

“Only for you, mommy,” she lifted your hips, aligning her cock with your entrance. She looked up at you for any sign of discomfort and when she didn’t she brought you down on her cock. She let out a groan as you took her in, her head falling back against the chair. Her grip on your hips tightened as she helped you lower yourself onto her.

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby,” she panted out, her eyes fluttering shut for a moment. You wrapped your arms around her neck, clinging to her as you tried to get used to her size. She was so big but you didn’t care. You wanted to be a good girl and take it.

She smiled up at you, her hands roaming up and down your back as you adjusted to her size. She knew you were small and she could be rough with you, but she wanted to be gentle now that it was the first you took her. She knew you could only handle so much.

“That’s it, sweetheart. You’re taking mommy so well,” she cooed, her hands resting on your hips, her thumbs rubbing soothing circles into your skin.

“…you can move now,” you mumbled, hiding your face in the valley of her neck. She chuckled at your shyness and gently pushed you back, her hands resting on your shoulders.

“Look at me, baby,” she said firmly, her voice leaving no room for arguments. She loved it when you got shy and timid, it made it even easier to control you, “I want you to keep your eyes on me, okay sweet girl?” you looked at her, doe eyed and nodded your head.

She smiled at your obedience and started to slowly move her hips, lifting you up and down on her cock. Her eyes were glued to yours, watching every reaction that flashed across your face. She loved the way you looked when you were under her control, so submissive and willing to do whatever she wanted.

“You’re so beautiful, bunny. All mine,” she moaned out, her pace gradually speeding up. Your pussy greedily clenched around her at the praise. It made your heart flutter. Like you were enough. She could feel you clenching around her, only encouraging her to thrust up into you harder. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you closer to her, so your chest was flush against hers. She continued to praise you, whispering filthy things into your ear as she picked up the pace.

You were itching closer to your release only for her to pull out and bend you over her desk once against. She loved the whine that left your lips when she pulled out, it was adorable and needy. She roughly pushed you down onto the desk, her hand on the back of your neck to keep you in place. She positioned herself behind you and ran the tip of her cock up and down your soaked folds.

“You want it, don’t you, princess?” she teased, knowing full well how badly you wanted her.

“Please! I’ve been good!” You begged. She couldn’t resist your pleading, the words going straight to her ego. Her grip on your neck tightened as she lined herself up with your entrance once again.

“Such a good girl, begging so nicely for me,” she praised you again as she slowly pushed back into you, relishing in the sweet sounds that fell from your lips.

“Ah! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She bottomed out with a low moan, taking a moment to admire the sight of you bent over her desk, your pussy stuffed full with her cock. Her other hand gripped your hip, her nails digging into your skin, leaving little crescent moon shaped marks. She was going to mark you all over as hers.

“You’re so welcome, baby,” she panted out, her eyes glued to where you two were connected. Her thrusts became more erratic, wanting to make you come undone all while chasing her own release. She was getting close, her grip on your hip tightening as she slammed into you from behind. She leaned over you, her chest pressed against your back as she peppered kisses across your shoulder blades. Her breath was hot against your skin as she spoke.

“You feel so good, sweetheart. I’m close. Are you gonna cum for me, baby?”

“Can I?” you asked politely, which left her a bit surprised. She raised an eyebrow at your question, a smirk forming on her lips.

“Such a well mannered girl and she’s all mine,” she said, her voice dripping with mock surprise. She knew you could be a good girl when you wanted to, but this was a new level of submission, “Go on, baby, come for me.”

You came on command, moaning her name loudly, your warm walls spasming around her cock, getting her over the edge. She let out a loud moan of her own as she came, filling you up with her hot cum. Her body slumped over yours, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath. She stayed on top of you for a moment, letting you both come down from your high. Once her breathing evened out, she slowly pulled out, her eyes fixated on your leaking cunt as her cum dripped down your thighs.

“Good girl,” she murmured, slowly straightening up, gently rubbing your back with her hand to soothe you. A sudden rush of emotion washed over you and you began to sob. You’ve never felt so loved. She froze when she heard you crying, her heart aching at the sound. She gently pulled you up into a sitting position and turned you to face her, worry etched on her face as she saw the tears streaming down your face.

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” she asked, panicking slightly but gently cupping your face in her hands, her thumbs wiping away your tears. You shook your head and just hugged her tightly, melting into her warmth. She let out a sigh of relief when you shook your head, but her worry didn’t completely dissipate. She wrapped her arms around you, pulling you into her lap and holding you close to her chest. She ran her fingers through your hair and gently shushed you, trying to calm you down.

“Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you, baby,” she whispered, placing a soft kiss on the top of your head.

“I…I love you, Agatha,” you whispered into her ear timidly. Her heart skipped a beat when you spoke those three words. She was shocked to hear them, she wasn’t expecting you to say it so soon. She pulled back slightly so she could look at you, her eyes scanning your face for any signs of doubt or uncertainty. When she found none, she smiled warmly at you, her hands cupping your face again.

“I love you too, sweetheart,” she replied without hesitation. She never thought she would find love in a girl half her age, but here she was, completely in love with you, “Let’s go get you cleaned up,” she stood up, “Can you stand up?” You tried to stand up and walk but quickly fell into her arms, your legs feeling like Jell-O. She easily caught you, holding you close against her body.

“I got you, bunny. I fucked you that good, huh?” she said with a smirk.

“Mommy…” You whined at her mocking tone. She chuckled at your whiny voice. She scooped you up into her arms bridal style and carried you to the bathroom in her master bedroom, setting you down on the counter once you got there.

“So cute when you get whiny like this,” she teased as she started running a bath.

“Are you gonna get in with me?” you asked, your cheeks turning a rosy color. She smiled at your question, loving how shy you got so quickly. She turned to look at you, a mischievous glint in her eyes.

“Do you want me to?” she asked, her voice low and seductive. You nodded timidly. Even after she’d seen you whole, even after all the time you’ve known her, she still managed to make you blush like a schoolgirl. She smiled warmly at your nod, her heart melting at your shy demeanor. She loved how easily she could make you flustered, it made her want to see you like this all the time. Once the bath was ready, she grabbed your chin gently and tilted your head up to look at her.

“You better get used to this, baby. You’re mine to take care of now,” You looked at her with pure adoration in your eyes and without you pulled her into a desperate kiss, putting your arms around her neck. She immediately returned the kiss, her lips moving against yours passionately.

She was taken off guard by your desperate actions, but quickly melted into it, sliding her tongue into your mouth and exploring every inch of it. She wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled you flush against her body. You wanted to stay like this forever. You didn’t want to pull away but you were both running out of air so Agatha made the first move to pull away.

She pulled away from the kiss with a low moan, her breathing heavy as she looked down at you. She rested her forehead against yours, her arms still wrapped tightly around you.

“You’re going to be the death of me, sweetheart,” she murmured, her voice laced with affection, “Let’s get you in the bath.” She picked you up again, like you weighed nothing, and placed you down on the warm water before getting in as well. She got in behind you and gently pulled you back so your back was against her chest. She wrapped her arms around your waist, holding you close as she let out a content sigh.

“Comfortable?” she asked as she began to run her hands over your body, lightly massaging your skin.

“Mhm…” you hummed, taking her hand in yours, thinking of all the things that happened that led to this moment. She could feel you thinking as you relaxed against her. She planted a kiss on your shoulder, silently urging you to voice your thoughts.

“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours, baby?”

“No one has ever treated me with so much love like you have. You make me feel special unlike my parents that make me feel dumb. I can be me without having to be ‘mature for my age��� with you. I’m so grateful for you, Agatha,” you kissed the back of her hand. Her heart ached at your words, the vulnerability in your voice made her chest feel tight. She tightened her arms around you, holding you closer to her as if to protect you from all the negativity you’ve faced in the past.

“Oh, sweetheart,” she said softly, nuzzling her face into your neck, “You are special. Your parents don’t know what they’re missing out on. You deserve to be loved and cared for. You deserve everything good in this world and I plan on giving it to you, princess.”

“Please don’t ever leave me,” you almost sobbed. You knew this was dangerous. You always got attached quickly and it always seemed to end badly for you.

She felt her heart shatter at your words. The thought of ever leaving you was unbearable to her. She turned your head gently so you were facing her and cupped your cheek, looking at you with nothing but sincerity in her eyes.

“I’m never going to leave you, baby. You’re stuck with me now. You’re mine, forever and always.”

“You promise…mommy?” Gosh you were so adorable, she should have done this sooner.

“I promise,” she said firmly, her grip on you possessive as she leaned in and pressed a gentle kiss to your forehead, “I won’t ever let you go. You’re safe with me, baby.” She continued to wash over your body, gently as if you were made of porcelain, leaving kisses on your skin every now and then.

She enjoyed pampering you like this, taking care of you in a way no one else ever has. She took her time washing your body, wanting to make sure every inch of you was clean. As she reached your thighs, she gave them a gentle squeeze, her hands roaming up and down your legs as she planted a few kisses on your neck.

You shuddered when she squeezed your thighs, loving every second of her warm touch. She smirked against your neck, enjoying your reaction to her touch. She wanted to go further but she stopped herself.

“Let’s get you ready for bed. We have a lot of things to do tomorrow.”

“Like what?” you asked, forgetting what she had said earlier. She chuckled at your question, gently nipping at your neck as she pulled away from you.

“Moving all your things in, silly. And I’m taking you shopping,” she teased, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around you before getting out of the tub and wrapping one around herself as well.

“Already? Isn’t it a bit soon? I wouldn’t want people to think I’m using you-“ she rolled her eyes as she dried herself off.

“Baby, I don’t care what other people think. They can think whatever they want,” she said, grabbing your chin and tilting your head up to look at her, “I only care about you.” She began to dry you off as well, being careful with your sensitive areas.

“…I don’t deserve you,” you whispered under your breath. She stopped drying you off when you spoke, her expression turning serious.

“Yes, you do,” she said firmly, her grip on your chin tightening ever so slightly, “You deserve the world, princess. Don’t you dare talk like that about yourself again because if you talk bad about yourself you’re talking bad about my baby girl and I don’t like that.”

“I promise I won’t,” you smiled at her motherly behavior, “Why are we going shopping though?” She returned your smile, her expression softening again.

“Because I want to show you off. To show everyone who you belong too,” she said with a possessive tone, “And I want to spoil you too. I want to buy you pretty things.”

“You don’t have to do that, Agatha-“ She silenced you by placing a finger over your lips, her gaze stern.

“Hush, I know I don’t have to but I want to. You’re my good girl and good girls get rewards, remember?” You nodded your head in agreement. She smirked, satisfied with your obedience. She ran her thumb over your bottom lip before pulling away and grabbing your hand.

“Good girl. Now come on, let's get you dressed. I want to talk to you about something,” she said, leading you out of the bathroom and into her bedroom.

“About what?” you asked, sitting on the edge of the bed while she went to fetch something for you to wear in her closet. She rummaged through her closet, looking for a specific outfit she had in mind for you as well as for herself. After a few moments, she pulled out a lacy, pink nightgown and turned to look at you.

“I want to discuss boundaries and rules,” she said, holding up the nightgown for you to see.

“Rules?” She nodded as she helped you get dressed, her hands gently pulling the night gown over your body and smoothing it out once it was on. She stepped back to admire you, a pleased look on her face.

“Mhm, I want to set some ground rules for you to follow,” she said, her eyes raking over your body, taking in how good you looked in the night gown.

“Okay, what are they?” She smirked as she crawled into the bed, sitting up against the headboard and dragging you in between her legs.

“First rule, you listen to me. You do as I say, no questions asked. You’re a good girl, aren’t you?” she asked as wrapped her arms around your waist.

“I am.”

“Mm, that’s what I thought,” she hummed, her hands slowly running up and down your thighs as she spoke, “Second rule, you are not allowed to touch yourself without my permission. Understood?” Your face immediately flushed at her statement but you nodded either way. She chuckled at your flushed expression, loving the effect she had on you. She moved her hand to your chin and tilted your head back so you were looking up at her.

“Rule number three, I will be picking out your outfits from now on,” she said, gently pinching your thigh. You hummed in thought. You didn’t mind at all, it would actually be helpful not having to stress about what you would wear.

She smirked as you hummed, knowing you liked the idea of her picking out your outfits for you. She leaned down and pressed a kiss to your neck, her hand still resting on your thigh, drawing small circles on your skin with her thumb.

“Rule four, you will be sleeping in my bed from now on,” she whispered in your ear, her tone low and commanding.

“I can get used to that,” you muttered. She chuckled again, amused by your obedience and compliance. She gently bit down on your neck, leaving a small mark on your skin as she continued to draw patterns on your thigh with her fingers.

“Good girl. I knew you would,” she praised, her hand slowly moving higher up your thigh, inching closer to your inner thigh.

“Any more rules?” You asked. She hummed in thought as she continued to leave small marks on your neck, enjoying the way your skin bruised so easily. She gently pushed your thighs apart, her hand resting on your inner thigh now.

“Just one more,” she said before nibbling on your earlobe, “You belong to me now, princess. Your body is mine and only mine.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way,” you pulled her into another kiss. She smiled into the kiss, her tongue slipping into your mouth as she grabbed your thighs and pushed you back onto the bed, pinning you down beneath her.

“Mommy I want you,” you begged. She smirked down at you, loving the way you begged for her. She leaned down and nipped at your bottom lip before speaking in a teasing tone.

“I know you do but it’s time for bed.”

“But mommy-“ you whined. She laughed at your whine, clearly amused by your pouty expression.

“No buts, princess. What was rule number one?” She questions firmly, her grip on your thighs tightening ever so slightly.

“…To do as you say, no questions asked.”

“Mhm, exactly. We have an early day tomorrow,” she said, not giving into your adorable pout as she pulled away to tuck you in.

“I love you, Aggie,” you looked at her lovingly. She smiled down at you, her heart melting at your words. She reached down and gently caressed your cheek, her expression softening.

“I love you too, baby. Now get some sleep,” she said before pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Taglist; @polaris-likethestar @wandasreallover @oh-no-bummer @phixiesworld @eliscannotdance @venomhimbo @aka-patsy @scoliobean @chlondykebar @marvelwomenarehot0 @mgruiz @daenerys713

[william-t-sickofyourshit]

Despite being tired, William’s full attention was on Sebastian. He didn’t mind staying up late to talk to him, if that was what Sebastian needed. His poor darling complained about pain and discomfort, and William was reassuring him, and cheering him up, and promising him all sorts of things to lift his mood once he’s back home. “I will bake you an apple pie, darling. And we will watch movies together every night. Don’t worry, hospital stay is only for a moment. Soon you will be back home here with me.” William smiled at the phone.

They stayed on facetime for quite a long time, until William started actively yawning. Then even clueless Sebastian had to notice that William was just exhausted by now. “Mm… you know, I should probably get home…” William hummed eventually. “I need a shower, and tomorrow morning it’s work again…” he yawned once more.

So, William then made another round over Sebastian’s cottage, showing each of the six cats to the phone’s camera, so Sebastian could say his goodnights. They stayed on the phone while William walked home to his house, and then Sebastian got to also greet Dexter via facetime as well. But eventually, whether they wanted it or not, they had to hang up. William could hear the nurse in the background, in Sebastian’s hospital room, telling him that she will put him on light sedatives for the night, because he really needs some sleep. And Sebastian could see how sleepy William’s eyes looked by now, he was barely keeping them open. 

So after a few more minutes of ‘I love yous’ and ‘goodnights’ they finally ended the call. William’s house got so quiet all of a sudden. He missed Sebastian terribly already. Before showering, William decided to go to his church for a moment still. 

The inside of the church was chilly. William lit up two big candles on the altar, and knelt down for a prayer. He begged God for good health for Sebastian, and for forgiveness for his sins. He did that a lot, lately, praying and asking God to forgive him for whatever it was that caused such punishment. As if it was his fault.

“Please God…” William whispered under his breath. “Surely you see inside my heart, and you know how happy Sebastian makes me. He is good for me, and I know that you put him in my life for a reason. I know I didn’t handle it the best, I broke my vows, I’m lying to the people of this town… but I will make it right. I promise. And Sebastian doesn’t deserve to be punished for my cowardly mistakes…”

The prayer lifted some guilt from William’s heart at least. He hoped that God would listen. 

He dragged himself into the shower, hot water washing away the exhaustion slightly, and soreness from his muscles that was caused by anxious tension all day long. William crawled into bed heavily, Dexter curling right at his side. He put the phone next to him on the pillow, just in case Sebastian needed him. He didn’t even notice when his eyelids fell heavily, and he dozed off, sleeping like a rock. 

For I have sinned...

The principal cleared his throat, eyes scanning the notes that he had wrote down before this meeting. It already lasted an hour, and the teachers gathered in the faculty room were becoming restless and bored. But indeed there were some things to discuss, with the concert that the senior class was supposed to perform at the end of the semester, and with recent staff changes. 

William glanced down at his watch, sighing softly. His class was starting in 15 minutes, so at least, whether the meeting will be done soon or not, he will get to excuse himself. He looked out of the window, his mind wandering. Principal’s voice turned into white noise in the background. It was a pleasant day, late summer. But William was looking forward to a slightly cooler weather. Wearing all black could really be bothersome at times. 

“And lastly, I am pleased to announce that we have finally found replacement for the violin teacher. Dear Mr Tanaka, may he rest in peace, was with us for so many years that I’ve been concerned we won’t be able to find someone as good as to fill this position.” the principal spoke. “But Mr… Michaelis, was highly recommended to me, and he indeed has impressive references. He will be starting this week, so please welcome him warmly once he will arrive. Ah yes… about that. He will arrive today at noon, I need someone to pick him up from the train station and bring over for the tour around the school. Any volunteers?” 

William was barely listening, and definitely not paying much attention. He glanced at his watch again, and saw that it was time to leave, as his class was about to start. He raised his hand to excuse himself, and little did he know, he just volunteered.

“Father William! Excellent!” the principal exclaimed. “Just don’t be late, the train arrives at noon.”

“Train…?” William questioned, raising his brow. He had a feeling he was missing something…

***

Right after the meeting, William had to run for the class, so he had little time to clarify what exactly he had volunteered for. He was a piano teacher in this Music Academy, but also he served as a priest in local church. Well respected, and rather liked. So when he later found out it was about the new violin teacher, he didn’t refuse. Who, other than himself, would be a better choice to introduce a newcome to their community?

So even though he raised his hand by accident, he accepted this fate.

After classes, at noon, William took a taxi and drove to the train station, to pick up their new teacher. Wearing black trousers, and a black shirt with a thin tie, was absolutely dreadful in this weather, so William quickly found shelter under the roof of the station platform, that provided some shade.

The train had just arrived. William had no idea how Mr Michaelis looked like, but he figured he will just look for someone carrying a violin case with them. 

He was in for a bit surprise.

@crazyvik97

[darlingdaisyfarm]

texting Stan and Ford headcanons

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Stan Pines

✧ Stan is the kinda guy who thinks emojis are a scam, but somehow, he figured out how to use the "thumbs up" and "money bag" emoji. so, expect a lot of those in your chats.

✧ his text tone is rough, a little misspelled, typed like he's yelling even when he isn’t. Half of his texts are in all caps, and he absolutely does not care about grammar. but he gets the point across, always.

✧ you’re getting messages at 3 am about some ‘brilliant’ scheme to make a quick buck. he’ll send, “LISTEN, doll, what if we made... GIANT… glitter-filled eggs for easter? Tourists'll go NUTS." you reply, half-asleep, with “Stan, ily but go to bed." and all you get back is a “🤬 YOU GOTTA THINK BIGGER!”

✧ Stan sends those weird chain messages he swears are from some “hotshot businessman” that’ll make you rich in a week. and when you don’t respond immediately, you get a: “Fine, Miss Doubtful, see you when I’m rolling in gold.”

✧ there are whole days where he just floods your phone with random, blurry photos of some new Mystery Shack "artifact" he found. It’s usually junk he picked up at a garage sale, like a “haunted” ashtray or some knock-off painting that’s “probably ancient.”

✧ If he’s feeling sappy (and tipsy): you might get a rare “thinking bout you, sweet thing” at 2 am. but if you try to call him on it the next day, he’ll just be like “Didn’t say that. You’re makin’ stuff up.”

✧ when he’s really riled up about something, though? then his messages are just. . . a stream of caps-lock curses, mixed with misspelled attempts to describe whatever nonsense he just got himself into. you just sit back and let him rant; he’ll cool off eventually.

✧ and the voice messages are something else. they sound like he’s talking through a fan half the time. one minute, he’s rambling about how tourists are “the dumbest suckers on the planet” and the next, he’s ranting about how “bigfoot definitely broke into the shack last night!"

types of messages Stan texts: 

"So… whatcha wearin’? 😏"

“Hey doll, I just found a penny on the ground! Maybe today’s my lucky day… hint hint ;)"

"I’d say somethin’ romantic, but I think my brain just shorted out. You’re a little too cute for a guy like me."

"Just tried that new café downtown. Ordered coffee… tastes like they filtered it through someone’s laundry. You’d hate it. Wanna come mock it with me?"

"Not gonna lie, I miss that face of yours. So what’re we doin’ about it, huh?"

“Again missin’ that cute little smile of yours… maybe you could send me a pic to remind me?”

"Wanna help me scam the tourists today? I’ll split the loot with ya… maybe ;)”

"You wouldn’t believe what I caught Ford muttering in his sleep. Man’s like a walking encyclopedia, even when he’s unconscious."

“Got any plans later? Thought maybe we could… y’know… not have plans together."

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚ Ford Pines 

✧ hehehehe he’s like an old-school emailer who’s just now getting the hang of messaging apps. texts in complete sentences, full punctuation, like he’s drafting a dissertation.

✧ He sends you whole paragraphs at random hours, talking about some discovery he’s made, like he’s reporting directly to NASA. you’re like, “Ford, it's just a weird-looking squirrel." and he's already typing another essay about its "possible interdimensional origins."

✧ once in a while, he’ll send you a message that says, “Are you awake?” at, like 3 am followed by a string of thoughtful yet completely bonkers hypotheses. you find it cute, though, his mind never stops, not even for a second.

✧ If he’s feeling bold, you might even get a “hypothetical” confession out of him: “Hypothetically, if one were to develop... strong emotional attachment to a certain person... how would one proceed?" You tease him about it the next day, and he gets flustered, “It was purely scientific curiosity."

✧ Ford isn’t big on emojis, but he likes the brain and alien ones, using them poetically. he’ll sign off texts with a single brain emoji, like it’s his version of a little goodbye wave.

✧ on really rare occasions, he’ll send a voice message. they’re always way too long, and it’s usually him whispering so he doesn’t wake Stan up. he goes on about cosmic rays or “gravity anomalies,” his voice dropping lower when he gets excited. you live for those moments

✧ and if he ever texts you a “good night,” you just know he’s been up thinking about it for hours, trying to figure out if it’s “appropriate.”

types of messages Ford texts: 

“It’s been approximately 3 hours, 12 minutes, and 23 seconds since our last conversation… not that I’m counting or anything. Just… miss you."

sends a meme about science nerds “Us. But mostly me.”

“My hands ache from writing… though perhaps if it were writing about you, I wouldn’t mind.”

“Do you think about me too, or am I the only one utterly ruined by this… whatever this is?”

“I’ve been thinking about that book you lent me... 🤔 It’s honestly so much more interesting than I expected, thank you for recommending it."

"I don’t know how to work this... But I managed to send a meme! It’s not the worst thing I’ve done, I suppose? 

“I did it. I fixed the telescope. Finally. Now we can actually look at the stars like we’ve talked about. :)"

"I hope you’re feeling okay today. I noticed you seemed a little stressed the other day. Don’t forget to take care of yourself. :) It’s important."

"If I could rearrange the periodic table, I’d put U and I together. :( Sorry, nerdy joke... :’D)”

ps - I CANT THEYRE SO CUTE BOTH I WANT TO SMASH THEM AGAINST THE WALL

lmao if someone wants, i can write some spicy types of chatting with them :)))

[yanderefarm]

Now I need us “pretending” to forget about Emil, only to actully forget about it him.

Like, as a punishment we lock him in the basement and forget about him as a joke, send a maid down there once a day to feed him, but then we genuinely forget about with him, because we didn’t realize how much work Emil does.

He gets feed once a day from a maid, but that’s the only interaction he has. (Need some more angst before it gets fluffy🙏🙏)

part 3 of this & 2

i don't know why i love this series so much i want to break emil so bad. i have so much fun writing pathetic emil whump.

cw;; domestic abuse, drugging, unsanitary, manipulation, dehumanization

things had been relatively peaceful since starting the divorce process. a process you had paid the information guild to purposely obstruct and delay while also leaking all the information about. at this point you met the guild master more than your own husband, in spite of emil's attempts. every day you would wake up to find some kind of expensive gift and your maids would inform you that emil was there to see you, to which you would dismiss both. but emil kept trying.

he wasn't even being drugged anymore but the effects had clearly taken their toll on his mind. according to the servants of the main house he wasn't doing his work, he would spend all his time wandering or sitting like he was the living dead, and they even heard him crying. your name and even mention of the queen title had been all but banned by his advisors in an attempt to get him to pull himself together. he wasn't.

the first time you saw him in 6 months was shortly after a meeting with the guild master discussing your next steps to take over the kingdom. you had decided with everything squared away you would go out for a walk by the fountain.

the moon was the only light on the usually vibrant garden, casting it in a somber darkness. the air was cold and heavy with the chilling change of seasons on the horizon so you were wrapped in a shawl. it was the perfect night to find him. your husband was standing on the bridge overlooking the fountain, he was staring down into the water longingly. you could see from his reflection in the water his eyes were sunken and there were bags under them, his hair was messy and uncombed, and he was paler than normal. he looked sickly and the cold blank look in his eyes didn't help.

he didn't even seem to notice as you approached when usually he would be on high alert or draw his sword. or he did notice.

"if you're going to kill me please make it quick." he must have thought you were some kind of assassin but more notably his voice was so soft and weak unlike anything you'd ever heard from him.

"i have no intention of killing you." your voice made his head shoot up with all the speed his weakened state could allow.

fresh tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. "(y/n)..? are you... real..?"

he stumbled towards you his feet struggling to carry him. you reached out and caught his surprisingly light body.

"you're re-"

"what's wrong with you? do you think dying will make things better?"

he flinched and his head fell to the ground.

"i thought you would break eventually and just admit you were wrong. but you'd rather die, hm?"

"i- you- i tried-"

"i don't want your excuses, emil."

he swallowed hard as tears began falling freely from his eyes. he opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. you couldn't help but take some kind of pity on the poor man, your hand running under his chin and forcing him to look back at your face.

"you're so pathetic... this is what the terrible tyrant becomes?"

you ran your thumb along his bottom lip before you leaned in close enough to feel his ragged breath against your lips.

"give up your pathetic life. give everything to me. everything ends when you give it to me."

he tried to lean forward enough to catch your lips but you kept out of his reach. instead of letting him kiss you, you pulled away from him completely. you stood up straight and pulled your arms away from his body causing the pathetic man to drop onto his knees. his body hit the cobble like you'd dropped a corpse but you decided not to care, choosing to turn away instead.

you started to walk away when you heard scratching and clawing at the stone under your feet.

"-ing please. please!" his voice clearly strained to try get your attention.

you stopped in your tracks waiting for him to speak but instead you heard more clawing and shuffling. eventually you felt his head bump into your leg like a cat greeting its owner. his bloody hands grabbed your leg and he held onto you as tight as he could while rubbing his head against your leg.

"emil. let me go."

"please take it... please take everything..."

"let me go."

"you want everything its yours. please."

"emil."

you finally dared to look down at him. he was so pathetic, his tears and blood were staining your pants. you let out a heavy sigh and reached down, your hand running through his tangled mess of hair.

"if you mean that then tomorrow concede your kingdom to me."

his peachy pink eyes looked up at you.

"do you understand?"

he nodded.

"then let go. you're getting me dirty."

he hesitated but he slowly let go of your leg.

———

of course your husband came through. he did as you ordered him, meaning you ascended to the title of king ahead of your schedule. while it certainly had its benefits it did leave a few things unfinished specifically on the guild master's end. so after everything settled into place you used your new found power to help staple in the final touches.

your husband who had been so happy to have you next to him again the past few months had to resume the drugs just so your hard work wouldn't completely slip away. he was still walking around like a corpse just a better maintained one. but no one seemed to have the time to pay much mind in the chaos of making you king. no one had the time to wonder where he went near the end of the chaos as you took over. and it was only when it was too late did his advisors even notice he wasn't anywhere to be found in the castle. you had to reassure them that he was currently tucked away from the public receiving the utmost medical care for his poor condition.

you ran a hand through your hair as you descended the dungeon steps, you were currently complaining to your maid about all the tedious parts of your job. there was an undeniable smile on your face though, the pride of having the most powerful kingdom in your hands made even the tedium valuable. your smile only widened twisting into a sick smirk as your torch caught onto the dirty form of your caged husband. he was on his knees clinging to the bars of his cell with tearful dead eyes.

"how long has it been, emil...?"

you walked over and crouched in front of him, he immediately went to push his head against your hand.

"your highness it's been 6 months since your last visit." your maid hung the torch nearby.

"really...? it's been over a year since i started this..."

your maid set about preparing emil's food while you pet him gently.

"i didn't mean to forget you down here."

the poor man didn't even seem to realize as he rubbed his head against your hand.

"oh emil... to think it only took a little over a year to break the mad king. to take everything away from you. to trap you in a little cage like you did my family."

the maid returned with some fresh water and a bowl of porridge. you pulled away from emil as she gave him his food. you watched his pathetic eyes look up at you desperately and you cocked your head to the side.

"your highness he's asking permission to eat."

your eyes lit up as you looked over at your maid. "oh my goodness!! you're incredible! i remember telling you i wanted to train him but to think you really went the extra mile..."

"thank you, sir. it's an absolute honor to break the man who destroyed my home."

your smile didn't fade as you looked down at the pleading former tyrant. "go ahead. but you can't use your hands."

emil hesitated before he finally shoved his face down into the bowl, eating like a pig with slop. it was a disgusting but amusing site, you and your maid had a good laugh at his expense.

once he was done you decided to give him a reward for good behavior. you crouched down in front of him and gently cleaned the mess off his face with a warm wash cloth. it was the closest thing he'd had to a real bath in the past 6 months. he was sobbing as he leaned into your hands.

it didn't last as long as he'd liked and you pulled away again.

"continue training him. id like to parade him around eventually so we should work with that goal in mind."

"you'll have his complete obedience. he won't even think to breathe without your permission."

"wonderful." you ran a hand down through his tangled mess of hair. "... I'll give you a budget so you can properly turn this area into the perfect training facility and our private friend can help you with the details."

"i look forward to it, your highness."

"i do too. when we're done with you you'll finally tell me you love me. you'll thank me for all of this, emi."

all you got was a whimper in response. you left your precious husband down in the dungeon, a forgotten and disgraced king.

[planetpedri]

Hi!!! This is my first request but could you please do an imagine with Pau Cubarsi x reader where he wants to be more than friends and doesn't know how to tell her but in the end he finally does. your writing is amazing btw!!

I’ll call you mine — Pau Cubarsí.

Pairing: Pau Cubarsí x Fem!Reader

Summary: Pau has been trying to confess for months, but instead of it coming out with a planned confession, he just blurted it out.

Word count: 1.58k+

Disclaimer/s: Injured (but healing) cat + fluff

A/N: on a pau grind because i’m desperately in love with him.

Your whole study group, which consisted of you, Pau, Lamine, and a girl named Elaine, had agreed to meet at a local diner a few blockes away from school. Pau had kindly offered you a ride there, since he was your neighbor and best friend.

Music played quietly in the background while he drove, adding a nice vibe to the one you’d already created while talking. Pau was asking about you cat, Beatrice, since she just had surgery.

“Oh my God, she literally—“ You let out an annoyed breath, “she literally is so energetic. She literally just got her surgery and now she’s suddenly full of life! I had twenty-four hours of peace before she started walking on our balcony railing again!”

Pau chuckles, his eyes darting to you every few seconds to watch your animated retelling of Beatrice’s actions. “She’s always been a handful, why are you surprised?”

Pinching your lips together, you huff. “Okay, true. It’s still stressful though. So anyways, Lamine and Elaine texted and said they are waiting for us.. but, I was thinking we.. you, could stop at the gas station so I can get some chips? They always have boring flavors at the diner.” You turn in your seat to face Pau, your lips jutting out in a pleading pout.

The boy glances at you with a knowing look, but of course he could never say no to you. “Yeah, sure. Just be quick, we’re already late.”

Pau turns into one of the corner stores, parking in the front so you could get in and out as quickly as possible. As you dig for your bag to get your card, Pau pulls his out from his wallet, shoving it into your face.

Pulling back, you give him a look. “No. Pau, you paid for them last time!”

“And, i’ll pay for them this time.” He waves the card in front of your face, which was forming an annoyed look. “Take it. Go.”

With a groan, you snatch it from his hand. “Okay, thanks. I’ll pay you back.”

You were in and out of the gas station in five minutes, clicking your seatbelt on and handing Pau’s card back with a smile. Chips in hand, you watch the store disappear as Pau drives away.

Your eyes eventually trail back to Pau, who seemed to be deep in thought. Observing his concentrated face, you don’t realize the growing upturn to your lips. He feels your stare, but doesn’t say anything to stop it. His stomach churns the longer you silently watch him and his heart felt like it was beating so fast that it wasn’t beating at all.

You only look away when he parks outside the diner. Unbuckling and climbing out with an eager bounce in your step. Inside, you two find Lamine and Elaine waiting in a back booth, their laptops already opened on the table alongside a red box of fries.

“About time.” Elaine quips, not bothering to look up from her laptop when you and Pau slide into the bench across from her and Lamine.

“Someone,” Pau drawls out, eyes flickering to yours teasingly, “wanted her chips.”

Lamine laughs, sticking out his hand to Elaine who frowns as she places a few bucks into his open palm. “I told you.”

Your lips pull into a frown, “what the hell? You placed a bet—you know what. Whatever! I don’t even care. Moving along, who has the wifi password?”

“They haven’t changed it since we were last here.” Elaine informs, plopping a fry into her mouth.

Pau’s eyebrows quirk up, “they haven’t?”

Your elbow nudges his shoulder, “they are learning to love us!”

Lamine glances between the duo, sharing a quirked eyebrow with Pau when your hand lingered a bit too long on the boy’s arm, and Pau’s cheeks had flushed a bright red.

The thing was, Lamine had been trying to get Pau to tell you how he felt for months. Every time, the boy promised he’d do it ‘soon’. He never did.

As the night went on, the group studies quietly, sharing small talk here and there. You and Pau decided to leave early, opting out of the study session to go watch a movie at your house.

The second you two arrived back at your house, you had changed into pajamas and joined Pau on the couch. With your parents already fast asleep, they didn’t bother telling you what time to have Pau leave. This was quite a normal activity for you two; Pau coming over to your house and staying over while you guys half-pay attention to the movie playing.

Most of the time you two spent together was filled with you talking and Pau listening. Thats the sort of friendship you had. He loved to hear you talk, and, well, you loved to talk. Plus, Pau preferred it that way simply because he could avoid the stuttering mess you made him when you listened to him talk.

Even as you sat there, only a foot between each other as you talked. Your knees were pulled to your chest and you were going in on a conspiracy theory you happened to come across on Tiktok. Pau’s eyes darted across your face as you spoke, and you found it harder and harder to remember all the facts when his eyes kept wandering to your lips.

Maybe he should just tell you.

Your brain was spinning just trying to focus on the topic at hand, but you had enough. “Pau, will you stop. I’m trying to tell a story here.”

The boy blinks, taken aback at your random call out. “What?

“Whatever you’re doing with your eyes, stop. Look away, it’s like.. distracting.” You gulp, why was it distracting in the first place?

Pau nods, he hadn’t even realized what exactly he was doing, so he just avoided your face. That, though, was harder than he thought. All he wanted to do was look at you, to see your face, and now more than ever.

That was the hardest part about him liking you. He was so deeply enthralled with everything you did, having that taken away was horrible. Pau had started to hate away games for the simple fact that he saw you less.

“Okay, but also, this—Pau? Hi?” You wave your hand in front of the teen’s face. “You went off into another planet, did you even get the last part? It was kind of vital.”

“Sorry, I was thinking. Could you repeat?” He looks back at you, and finds his breath catching in his throat. Had you gotten closer? You did look beautiful in the TV lights glow.

You suck in a long breath, “okay. Prepare—“

“I like you.”

Oh.

Silence.

“Huh?”

Another long beat of silence.

Pau’s mouth parts, he didn’t mean to say that out loud. He really didn’t. “Whaaat.. who said that?”

It was your turn for your mouth to fall open, slightly shocked but more.. well. You started laughing. You were choking on your laughter, your hand clutching Pau’s shoulder as your head dipped down to rest on it. He was laughing too, partly humiliated, partly-amused.

When you finally calmed down and look back up at him, you take a deep breath, swiping a hand in front of your face for dramatic effect. “Okay, i’m done. Sorry. Say it again.”

“Uhm… say what?”

“Quit playing with me Pau. Say it again so I can have a serious reaction.” Crossing your legs, you wait for him to speak again.

Pau feels his face grow hot. He really didn’t want to do that. “Do I have to?”

You blink, “what? Did you not mean it?”

His face flattens, “what? No! No, I did mean it… it’s just embarrassing.” He exhales, attempting to calm himself down. He truly did mean it, he just didn’t want to say it without a certain response from you.

His eyes meet yours and he notices the almost hopeful look in your eyes. “I like you.” He says slowly, cautiously.

“I like you too.” You smile, the weight of your once hidden feelings dissolved as the words tumbled off your lips.

Pau’s heart feels heavy with the emotions rushing through it. “Yeah?”

You nod, “yeah.” You weren’t sure what to do next, but truthfully, neither did he. Instead, you both sat there with stupidly wide smiles on your faces and rosy cheeks.

“I wonder if Lamine and Elaine bet on this too.” Pau suddenly blurts, cutting the tension you’d just formed. He laughs nervously, causing you to laugh in turn.

“Probably.” You agree, “maybe we just shouldn’t tell them, not for a bit.”

Pau’s eyebrows pull together, confusion flashing across his face. “Why?”

You shrug, settling into the couch beside him, a bit closer this time. “I dunno, I kind of want to have this to ourself for a little while… not long, but, y’know?”

Understanding what you meant, the boy leans back against the couch, his arm draping over your shoulder’s and pulling you into his side. “Yeah, I don’t mind that.”

You smile against him, your stomach fluttering when you process the boy you’d had feelings for since you were thirteen, liked you just the same. He was finally yours.

Pau sat back too, smiling to himself. This meant he could finally call you his, and vise versa. He’d waited for this moment for a very long time and he was very grateful for his lack of… self control.

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in any pau posts.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby @unx100to !

[lurkingshan]

I am once again screaming after finishing an episode of Blue Canvas of Youthful Days. This show is incredible.

Let me start with one of the more smartly constructed misunderstandings I've seen in a minute: after seeing Teacher Liu's lost love in a photo, Tan Lin avoids him for days, Liu eventually gets drunk and calls him, then ends up flipping him onto the bed and saying he missed him so much--which Tan Lin believes is Liu confusing him with his ex. So he removes his hearing aid to shut out Liu's words, right before Liu keeps talking and makes it clear he knows this is Tan Lin and Tan Lin is the one he missed. So Liu finally gives in and kisses him, but Tan Lin thinks it's only because he's mixing him up with his ex. Diabolical, show! Teacher Liu, you are a fucking mess and you need to get it together, stop running hot and cold, and communicate very clearly about your intentions.

On the other side of our story, this episode gave me everything I hoped re: filling in Qin Xiao's perspective to help us understand why he rejected Qi Lu. This show continues to be so solid on the class dynamics and how they inform this romance. Teacher Liu laid it out clearly: Qi Lu is privileged and he will be able to go to college with or without this special admissions boost, but Qin Xiao has many fewer opportunities and he can't blow it getting caught up in Qi Lu's problems. Qin Xiao knows this, and is also battling some feelings of unworthiness and unwillingness to make Qi Lu's life harder by saddling him with Qin Xiao's struggles. On top of that, and what I found most heartbreaking, Qin Xiao admits he has always longed for a "normal" family, with a wife and kids of his own. He wants that desperately, and so of course he is fighting himself on falling for a guy. And I get him. When you grow up that deprived of things other folks take for granted, there is a real drive to build it for yourself and strong resistance to anything that would get in the way of it, even including your own true desires and feelings.

I liked that this episode had Qi Lu crossing the line into being far too pushy and displaying a real lack of empathy for Qin Xiao and his different life circumstances, because it put them back on more equal footing in this conflict. Qi Lu clearly does not understand Qin Xiao's perspective and is not interested in understanding; he's too fixated on what he wants and how he wants to live in defiance of his abusive father to hear Qin Xiao's legitimate hesitations and give him space to work it out. It's a really beautifully constructed impasse where they're both in the wrong but we understand what's driving each of them.

[thefallennightmare]

Just Pretend-Chapter Thirty

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut(18+), star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse, talks of death, depressive thoughts, talks about not being able to conceive, and endometriosis.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: If you haven't yet, please read DREAMSTATE before you read this chapter. It's imperative that you do otherwise you will be confused. There is also ONE chapter left after this one. I cannot believe we're almost to the end, folks. It's a very bittersweet feeling.

Tags[CLOSED]: @blueskylinesx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @shayzillaaaa @badomensls @shadowseve @collective-heartbreak @klutzy-kay24 @sorrowsofsilence @sweetlittlekitsune @shilohrosechicken @itsafullmoon @toospooktocute @niicoleleigh @thatchickwiththecamera @hoe-for-daddywise @whenthesummerdies @thisbicc @sammyjoeee @joe9cool @ozwriterchick @happi-goth @dsireland86 @cncohshit @heyyoplayer @rain-down-on-mee @respectfulrebel @malerieee @myownthoughts12 @noahsbong @laurpartyprogram @cloudykoookie @sideeyenoah @bellaboo967 @rxdlstgn @anthemheatwave @lobolocaamo @amelia-acero @karenfranco @collidewiththesavannah @xserenax-13 @supersquirrel1996 @themodern-daywednesday @oxythoughtin7715

THIS IS FICTION. NONE OF THIS IS REAL.

NOAH

“Maybe I'll invite them over once I'm back home from the art store. I figured it'll be alright since you have therapy and we’re not going to dinner until four,” she sat up while letting the sheet fall to her lap. 

I was still in a state of shock that I couldn’t even gaze at her perfect breasts, my mind whirling with so many different emotions. All I could do was numbly nod. 

“I must say,” she smirked while brushing away the hair from my face, laying a kiss on my lips. “It’s always great to wake up to you every morning. But on my birthday, it’s extra special.”

Blinking wildly, I shook out the spiderwebs from waking up from my dreamstate and gave her a tender smile while bringing her into my chest. 

“Happy birthday, angel,” I kissed her head. 

Her arms snaked around my back, resting her cheek against my chest. “Thank you, Noah. Oh, you’re sweaty.” 

Her giggles echoed throughout the room as she glanced up at me. “Your heart is also beating so fast. Are you alright?” 

“I just had a nightmare. That’s all,” I assured her. 

The door creaked open causing both of us to look over and see Kuma pushing his way inside, sitting at the bed. He’d grown in size the last week and was beginning to take up a lot of space. 

Not that any of us complained. We loved him. 

“He’s giving me the creepy I need to go out look,” Y/N giggled while getting ready to get out of bed. 

Pushing her back onto the bed and throwing the covers over her, I slipped out while standing to my feet. 

“It’s your birthday. You deserve to sleep in and treat yourself,” I said. 

Pulling out my wallet from the drawer of my nightstand, I tossed my credit card onto her lap. Almost immediately Y/N began to fight my decision but I shook my head. 

“I want to take care of you, Y/N. Especially today. Please?” I begged while jutting out my bottom lip. 

Eventually she nodded and rose to her knees to wrap her arms around my neck. Her gorgeous naked form on display made my cock twitch. If it wasn’t for Kuma staring at us, I’d drag her into the shower for a quick morning birthday sex. 

“How did I get so lucky?” She mused. 

“I think it was me that got lucky, angel,” I said with all the seriousness I could muster. 

Our lips were so close, I could feel her warm breath fan over mine, but as I was about to close the distance Kuma’s deep bark caused both of us to jump. 

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you out,” I sighed. 

With a swift pass to Y/N’s bare ass, she shrieked before running towards the bathroom. With a nod towards the patio door in our room, I led Kuma outside to where he immediately ran over to his typical bathroom spot in the far corner of the yard. Since it was fenced, we didn’t have to worry about him running off. 

As I rubbed a finger over the side of my hand, tracing the letters, I felt a fond smile pull at my lips when I remembered my guide not only in my dreamstate but in my life as well. Every big moment, good or bad, Keaton had been there with me guiding me along. 

“Miss you, man,” I blew out a shaky breath when I remembered how it felt seeing his face again. 

Feeling a soft brush of fur between my legs, I peered down at Salem who purred lovingly. Bringing him up to my chest, I let him rub his face in my neck to which I noticed a few strands of gray fur in his face. The once bright red color I bought him began to dull so I made note to buy him another one today but the tag with the Death of Peace of Mind symbols was still fresh like the first day I put them on his collar. 

“I’m surprised you’re not curled up in bed with Michael,” I spoke to my cat son. 

“Because he woke me up at five this morning screaming to be fed.” 

Snapping my gaze to my right, I saw Michael lounging in the hammock while Jesse and Tay sat together on the outdoor couch, both holding to-go cups from Fika. 

“Well, did you feed him?” I raised a brow at Michael before dropping Salem onto his chest and sitting in one of the chairs around the fire pit; embers still smoking from the fire last night. 

“No, I let him starve,” Michael’s voice was thick with sarcasm as he let Salem snuggle up to him. 

“Where’s the birthday girl?” Tay asked with a smile. 

I motioned towards our bedroom. “Getting ready. I think she might head out to the art store. She’s been wanting to get a new easel since her other one broke when we rearranged her studio a few months ago.”

As we chatted for a bit, Y/N emerged from the patio door leading to our bedroom dressed in a bright yellow sundress, the warm California sun paling in comparison. 

“Mochi,” her voice sang as she walked over to us and held her hands together underneath her chin. 

“Mochi?” Tay asked Jesse quietly. 

He kissed the side of her head. “It’s a long story.” 

Dragging my fingers up and down her bare thigh as she stood next to the chair I’d been sitting on, I gave her my full attention. 

“Yea?” 

“Could I borrow your SUV? There’s more space than my small car,” she even said the word please with her eyes.  

“Of course. You know you don’t have to ask,” I said while patting her thigh, her slowly dropping into my lap. 

She thanked me with a kiss right before the rest of them wished her a happy birthday, something she couldn't hide her excitement because the love behind her smile was evident. 

While Y/N sat in my lap, I glanced over to Tay who gave me a nod before clearing her throat while sitting up straight. 

“Do you mind if I tag along? I know it’s your birthday but I’ve been dying to check out that antique place next door to the art shop.” 

Immediately Y/N nodded while shooting up from my lap. “Yes please! I did not want to go alone.” 

I fawned a frown, pretending to be hurt that I couldn’t go with her. 

“I’m sorry, angel. I could try to reschedule my therapy appointment but we know how busy Dr. Poulos is.” 

She bent down and kissed me. “It’s alright, Noah. I need a little girl time today.” 

Knew she would take the bait.

After saying goodbye to them and making sure they were out of ear shot, I locked eyes with Jesse. 

“Still good with the plan?” 

He immediately nodded. “Everything is set up. Faye and Bryan will be here with their cameras.” 

Michael spoke next. “Everyone knows where to be here and when.” 

I nodded while rising to my feet and ran a hand through my unruly hair. “Good. I’ve got a few things to pick up in town.” 

“Mind if we tag along?” Jesse’s words mimicked Tay’s from earlier. “We’re bored just sitting here.” 

“Says you!” Michael said while rolling out of the hammock. “I’m fine hanging out at home doing absolutely nothing.” 

Leading us inside with Kuma and Salem nearly knocking me over as they barreled past us, Jesse and Michael continued to bicker about something I stopped paying attention to; mind on something else. 

“Michael, are you fine driving?” I asked while stopping in the hallway that led to my bedroom. “I need to make a few phone calls.” 

“Yeah. Twenty minutes?” 

All three of us nodded before dispersing in the house towards our respective bedrooms. The scent of Y/N still lingered in the air as I reached for my phone perched on my nightstand and as I went to pull up my texts, I noticed a voicemail notification without a missed call. 

“Hm, weird,” I muttered as I clicked open the text thread between Y/N and I. 

Me: Remember to treat yourself today, angel. You deserve whatever you want. 

Almost immediately she texted back. 

Angel 🪽: All I want is you, Noah. 

My heart soared in my chest at her words, truly thankful that everything bad in our life the last few weeks had been a dream. 

More like a nightmare. 

Me: You already have all of me. 

Just before I pocketed my phone, a new text popped up. 

Joakim Karlsson: Any chance we could meet up soon? I need to talk to you about something before tonight. 

Furrowing my brows, I typed up my response. 

Me: Sure. I’m about to head to the jewelry store on 11th street. We can meet there in about thirty minutes?

When he replied with a thumbs up emoji, I tossed my phone onto my bed and stalked into the bathroom to get ready, excitement for the day causing me to wear a wide smile. 

READER

“I am so tired,” I sighed while carrying the stacks of bags up the steps towards the house. 

Tay giggled behind me as she carried the two new canvas’ I bought. “I can’t believe we spent two hours in the antique shop!” 

Resting my hip against the front door, I adjusted the bags so I could wrap my hand around the door knob. “They had so many cute little skull trinkets! I hope Noah is fine with me littering his desk with some of them.” 

I turned to face Tay as I pushed my way inside the house and didn’t notice it was not only quiet but dark as well until a boisterous round of voices caused me to nearly drop my bags. 

“SURPRISE!” 

“MOTHER FUCKER!” I yelled while clutching my chest, gazing around the filled living room. 

Tears filled my eyes when I noticed every single one of my friends filling the house because of my birthday. They all were here for me. 

Noah stood out amongst all of them dressed in a crisp white shirt that accentuated his tattoos and black dress pants. However, since he didn’t allow shoes in the house, he was wearing a pair of bright red socks. 

He had a bouquet of flowers in one hand while the other hand was stuffed deep into his pocket. His hair had grown a bit since he skipped his last few haircuts so it was reaching his ears, even combing back like how it currently was. The chain around his neck rested softly against the white shirt. His cologne lingered in the air and the light from the lamp in the corner of the living room casted him in a bright glow; his own aura. 

Noah called me his angel but right now standing in front of me, he was my own angel. 

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.” 

Tay came up behind me and took the bags from my hand so I could step into Noah’s warm embrace, the smell of the flowers engulfing my senses. 

Violets. 

Almost immediately I was brought back to when he surprised me with an array of flowers from his belated valentines day surprise. 

“The violets, also known as the Sumire, represent life and sincerity. Its small size and delicate nature represent deep affection for someone. These flowers are very important in Japan.”

“Noah,” I choked while taking the flowers from him. “Did you do all of this?” 

The entire house was covered in balloons, streamers, and a huge banner that took up the entire wall behind the television in the living room saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N. WE ALL LOVE YOU. 

Salem and Kuma were sitting on the long evergreen couch, both wearing bright red bowties. It looked like Kuma even was groomed, his fur fresh and clean. 

“Did you give Kuma a bath?” I chuckled while swaying in Noah’s arms. 

He snorted. “Fuck no. I gladly paid the groomer $140 to take care of it. Remember the last time we tried to do that ourselves?” 

I cringed remembering exactly what happened. Kuma jumped out of the bathtub mid shampoo scrub and ran all throughout the house, leaving a wet trail in his wake. It would have been fine if he didn’t jump into Michael’s bed to roll around in it while he slept. 

Needless to say I bought Michael a new bedspread. 

“You bought Salem a new collar?” I asked. 

“His old one was faded. But I realized I should have got one for Kuma so they could match,” Noah said.

I peered around the house, taking in sight of all of my friends. Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch, both of them grinning from ear to ear; something that told me they had a surprise for me. I only knew this because Malcolm’s left eye would always twitch when he was desperate to tell me something. 

Which is what was happening right now. 

Davis, Steven, Michael, and Folio were all in the kitchen setting up the spread of food that seemed to have been just delivered before I walked in the door. 

Astrid and Jolly were sitting at the kitchen table, both having a hushed conversation amongst themselves. I raised a brow at the action of Jolly resting a hand on the side of her stomach, her giggling at something he said. 

Tay, who had set all of my belongings I bought earlier in my studio, emerged back into the living room just in time for Jesse to jump up from behind the couch to scare her. She yelped in surprise before smacking his chest repeatedly. 

“I fucking hate when you do that!” There wasn’t an ounce of venom in her voice as her laughter echoed when he picked her up to twirl her around. 

Matt had Faye wrapped into his chest as they sat on the other end of the couch, him staring at her with love in his eyes while he played with her necklace. 

But it was Nicholas who sat at the table next to Jolly and Astrid that caught my attention more than the others. 

“Birthday tattoos?!” I squealed while leading Noah over to the table. 

“It’s become our tradition, angel,” Noah chuckled while handing the flowers to Astrid, who gladly set them in a vase with water. 

Nicholas rose from the chair after pausing setting up his tattoo equipment and gave me a hug. 

“Happy birthday, Y/N.” 

I pressed my cheek to his chest, feeling so thankful for his friendship over the years. I wasn’t sure where I’d be if it wasn't for his words of wisdom in some of the darkest moments of my life. 

“Thank you, Nicholas.” I smiled while pulling away from him. 

“What are you going to get?” Faye asked from her position on the couch, wrapped underneath Matt’s arm. 

I made a mock tapping on my chin, pretending that I was thinking about it. “A duck.”

Noah choked on his drink, nearly spewing it all over his shirt, and I couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Why a duck?” He wondered, wiping his chin. 

"Well,” I began while sitting on one of the chairs and extending my right arm towards Nicholas so he could prep the area. “According to your fanbase, they see you as a duck so I guess that’s why I’m going to get it."

The stare Noah and I shared was strong and vibrant, the aura of our connected souls radiating light in the empty air around all of us. Most of everyone here had been here since the beginning of our relationship, so we knew how much this moment meant to them. 

Noah stood behind the chair I sat on and placed a kiss on top of my head. “Well, I guess I’m getting a crow tattooed then.”

Looking back at Nicholas, I bit my lip. “Would it be too much to ask for two tattoos?” 

“It’s your birthday, Y/N. Whatever you want,” he said. 

“What else were you thinking of getting?” Jolly asked. 

With a sad sigh, I spoke quietly yet loud enough for everyone to hear. “It can’t rain all the time.” 

Noah didn’t speak, simply squeezed my shoulder for a long moment, before sitting down next to me. 

“Still have your dads letter?” Nicholas asked while finishing setting up his equipment. 

I raised a brow. “Of course I do. Why?” 

“If you want, I can copy your dad’s handwriting for the tattoo. Might take me a bit if you don’t mind waiting,” he said. 

Choking on a sob, I nodded eagerly. “Please.” 

“I’ll go grab it,” Noah pressed a kiss to the side of my head before rising from the table. 

For the next long while, everyone conversed and laughed, all of us reminiscing of old times together as Nicholas tattooed me and then Noah. I did have to chuckle because since Noah didn’t have much free skin, he had his crow tattooed on the back of his calf. Meaning we had to super sanitize our kitchen table for Noah to lay on it. 

“I can’t believe Mr. Clean Freak, who sends overly aggressive texts in the group chat about a dirty crock pot, is getting tattooed on a surface we eat on!” Michael shook his head in disbelief.

Noah shot him a glare over his shoulder. “Shut up.” 

I giggled while eating a plate of food, my two new tattoos wrapped up. The duck was a simple cartoon design with the infamous duck lips. Nicholas even added hair to it so it looked like Noah. It was on the inside of my forearm. The It Can’t Rain All The Time tattoo was done on my ribs which required me to change into something more comfortable so I wasn't lying on the couch with my dress hiked up to my breasts giving everyone a show. 

Noah made sure to follow me into our bedroom to give me my first birthday present. 

“Fuck,” I moaned while resting my head against the closed door of our room. 

Noah hummed ini delight as he knelt in front of me, his face buried between my legs. The bottom of my dress covered him so I couldn’t see as he devoured me. 

“Already so wet,” he mused before flicking his tongue against my clit and slipping in another finger, spreading them wide inside of me. 

“Noah,” I panted and grasped his hair with such force, I heard a hiss fall from his mouth. 

“Happy birthday, angel.” 

A tender kiss inside of my thigh was the only warning I received before he began devouring me again. He sucked and hummed against my clit while his fingers continued to pump in and out of me in quick succession. It was all a blur as I let my body react to Noah’s touch. I whined when his fingers slipped out of me, leaving me empty and desperate for more, only then for his tongue to spear inside of me. His moans of pleasure were downed out as I gripped his hair and pushed him farther into my center. The euphoric burn was all consuming ,every bit of my soul becoming one with Noah as he refused to let up. 

“Noah,” I panted, my orgasm teetering on the edge of explosion. 

His fingers gripped my thighs to help keep me upright against the door, nails leaving half crescent shaped moons in the tender flesh. I rode against his tongue, basking in the splendor that Noah was the only one to ever provide me. With a muffled shout behind my hand, I let go of the grip on my orgasm and allowed it to haul me into the void of white haziness, stars dancing in the corners of my vision. 

“Fuck,” Noah groaned after pulling himself away from my legs, my arousal soaking his chin and stood to his full height. 

He made no move to wipe it away.

Now, almost an hour later, I stood in the kitchen with my family as Noah finished up his tattoo, grunting about how he’s going to have to disinfect the table a few more times before anyone eats there. Chase and Malcolm were leaning against the kitchen island in front of me, excitement evident in their eyes. 

“Are you guys going to tell me what has your eye twitching?” I asked Malcolm. 

Chase hummed while looking over at him. “You know, I never noticed that before.” 

The auburn haired man rolled his eyes before handing me his phone to show me an email from our tour manager, Ethan. 

“Wait,” I stood straighter. “No fucking way!” 

My best friends and bandmates couldn’t stop smiling as I began bouncing on my feet, something Noah caught because he came over to me and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. 

“What’s going on?” He wondered. 

“Hollow Souls is playing Incarceration in a few months! Do you know how huge this is for us? We haven’t played a festival of this caliber since Warped Tour.” My voice was raised two octaves, showing my excitement. 

Jesse, who was slow dancing with Tay to the music playing, nodded. “ERRA just got asked to play.” 

“Hang on, both Hollow Souls and ERRA got asked to play but not Bad Omens?” Matt was dumbfounded as he whipped out his phone, hastily typing away. “Oh, shit.” 

Folio raised a brow while looking over Matt’s shoulder. “Dude, don’t you ever check your work email? They sent that email almost a week ago!” 

“Fuck off, I’ve been busy,” Matt shot back while playing with Faye’s necklace again. 

“So you mean to tell me,” I began while looking at all of my friends in the room, “Hollow Souls, Bad Omens, and ERRA are all playing at Incarceration?” 

Noah beamed. “Talk about a sick ass line up!” 

While I sat on the couch talking with Davis and Michael as the former told us he met someone at the bookstore the other day, I noticed Noah, Chase, and Malcolm disappear into the back yard. I wondered what their conversation was when I saw a huge smile break out on Malcolm's face while Chase stood frozen before Noah clamped a hand on his shoulder, reassuring him something. 

Later on in the evening, I found myself talking with Faye and Matt, ever curious on where her necklace came from; the one Matt could not stop touching all night. 

“Is this new?” I asked. 

Faye nodded with a huge grin plastered across her face. “Matt gave it to me last nice.” 

“It’s a pretty necklace,” I said while getting a better look at the glowing diamond in the middle. 

Matt playfully smacked my hand away. “Not just any necklace. It’s an engagement necklace.” 

Both Noah and I froze at his words, wondering if we heard him correctly. Faye smacked him upside the head, causing Matt to grumble a slew of curses. 

“I told you not to say anything, Matthew. Tonight is about Y/N, not us,” she chastised him. 

He rubbed at his head while fixing his hat. “It just slipped out.” 

“I’m sorry,” I shook my head. “Did you just say engagement necklace? Like he proposed last night?” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Noah asked, rubbing his hand softly over my stomach. 

Faye sighed while twirling the necklace between her fingers. “We didn’t want to steal the spotlight away from Y/N. Today is her day.” 

“FUCK THAT!” I yelled, causing everyone to stare at us. “Whoops sorry. Keep doing what you guys are doing.” 

I didn’t want to be the one who dropped the news of their engagement. That was their business to tell. 

Keeping my voice quiet now, I pulled Faye and Matt into a giant group hug. “I’m so happy for you two!” 

“Gross,” Matt groaned when I left a kiss on his cheek. “I don’t need your Noah slobber all over me.” 

Right before I began talking with them, Noah had pulled me into the hallway right outside our bedroom to give me my second birthday present to which we ended up making out against the wall when Matt caught us. 

“What is this?” I asked Noah as he placed a black velvet box in my hand. 

My heart was beating rapidly in my chest when he motioned towards my hand. 

“That’s the whole point of a gift, angel. You need to open it,” he urged me again almost impatiently. 

“Alright, alright,” I smacked his hand away when he tried to open it for me. 

The box creaked open and I gasped when I saw the silver locket and chain standing out against the black silk it rested on. Angel was engraved on the front of the locket and when I opened it, tears welled in my eyes. 

One side had a picture of Noah with Salem and Kuma. On the other side was a picture of my dad. 

“Mochi,” I cried while looking up at him. “I-I-.” 

Words were foreign, emotions overtaking me from how thoughtful this gift was. 

Noah brushed away my tears with his lips, kissing me down to my neck. “I love you so fucking much, Y/N. You wear this and we will always be with you, no matter how near or far.” 

His gentle hands worked on clasping the locket behind my neck, resting just above the other necklace he gifted me for my previous birthday.” 

"This engagement necklace is so pretty!" I smiled at Faye, holding the necklace between my fingers and adding the correct word now since Matt corrected me a minute ago. 

Noah stood behind me, his arms around my waist as I was pulled close into his chest. He'd been so soft and wanted to touch me any chance he could since we woke up this morning, not that I was complaining. It was nice to feel so wanted. 

So loved. 

His warm breath fanned over my ear. "I love you." 

I smiled over my shoulder at him, leaving a tender kiss on his cheek. "I love you more."

Faye's voice brought my attention back to her and I shook my head. "I'm sorry, what did you say?"

Faye's smile was so wide that it reached her eyes. "I can't believe Matt proposed with the Evenstar necklace!" 

My brows furrowed while playing with my locket. "The what now?" 

"From Lord of the Rings," Faye answered, like it should have been common knowledge. 

I sucked in a breath. "I-uh-never actually seen any of the Lord of The Rings movies." 

All noise in the house seized, so eerily quiet you could hear a pin drop and Noah's grip around me loosened so he could stand in front of me now. There was a look of disbelief on his face. 

His wasn't the one I was looking at, however. It was Matt who looked like I just ripped out his heart and stomped on it. 

"Y/N," Matt held a hand over his chest. "Please tell me you're lying." 

"Oh no," I cringed. "Are we not best friends anymore?"

Noah ran a hand over his face. "I cannot believe we've been dating for over a year and I'm just now finding out you've never seen one of my favorite movie series." 

I could see the faint smile hiding behind his hand. 

"I've never been interested in those movies," I shrugged. 

Wrong answer. 

An uproar sounded in the house as Noah tossed me over his shoulder, carrying me into the living room. Matt's voice booming behind me. 

"Davis! Load them up now. We're having a movie marathon for Y/N's birthday."

Noah pulled me down to the couch with him, immediately wrapping his arms around my midsection to pull me into his chest. I was already warm from drowning in his hoodie and a pair of Hollow Souls joggers so his extra body heat was like a blanket covering both of us. As Davis clicked through Noah’s Fandango account on the television, I glanced over to Jolly who was helping Astrid sit on the couch. All evening he’d been extra attentive to her, constantly asking if she needed anything or keeping a hand on her stomach. She took the glass of water from him with a kiss of thanks just before he sat next to her. 

That’s weird. Astrid always has a glass of wine at these get-togethers. 

I let out a gasp when the realization hit me and smacked a hand over my mouth so I didn’t catch the attention of the others around me. Noah, however, did catch on and I felt him press a kiss to my cheek. 

“They want to tell you, angel. But they’re afraid of how you’ll react.” 

Sad eyes stared down at Noah since I was still seated on his lap. “What do you mean? You knew?” 

“Jolly told me this morning. He wanted my opinion on how to bring it up to you because of your endometriosis. They don't want to make it seem like they’re rubbing it in,” Noah explained while rubbing my back. 

My heart immediately sank to the depths of my stomach, hurt digging into my system but not for the reason others thought. But because my best friends couldn’t tell me they were pregnant without the fear of upsetting me. 

Leaving Noah with a kiss, I stood from the couch and extended my hand towards Astrid, who glanced at me with confusion. Jolly’s gaze bounced between us with slight hesitation. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll bring her back to you,” I ruffled his hair.

“Where are you going?” Matt asked while pointing to the television. “We’re about to start with the first Hobbit!” 

Rolling my eyes at him, I pulled Astrid off of the couch. “Give me five minutes, thotblaster. Then you can strap me down so I have no choice but to watch these movies.” 

With my hand in hers, I led Astrid to my art studio and made sure the door was closed behind us. Her white hair with slightly overgrown roots was pulled back into a tight braid and the light behind her eyes was slowly flickering. 

“Are you doing alright? I know you wanted to meet up to talk earlier,” I said while we both sat on the couch I had in the room. 

Astrid hesitated for a moment, gnawing on her bottom lip and began rubbing her hands up and down on her jeans. “Noah told you?” 

“I picked it up on my own. I’m quite perceptive,” I joked with a sly smile before grasping her hands to hold them in my lap. “Astrid, please know you do not have to hide something like this from me in fear of how I’ll react.” 

She nodded with wet eyes. “We just found out last night. It wasn’t planned and if I’m being honest, things with Jolly haven’t been great the last few weeks. Part of me is afraid this will push him away more than bring us closer together.” 

“I don’t think so. From what I’ve seen tonight, he hasn’t been able to keep his hands off of you. Come to think of it, Noah’s been acting the same way since he woke up this morning.” I waved her off, getting distracted. “But my point is, you two deserve this. This group needs a little one of us running around. And it being a little mini mix of you and Jolly is a plus.” 

Astrid laughed through her tears. “You’re not mad?” 

My eyes widened. “Mad? Why would I be mad? I’m fucking ecstatic. I’ve come to terms a long time ago that kids aren’t in the cards for me. This is something both Noah and I have spent many nights coming to terms with. We’re more than alright being the fun uncle and aunt of the group.” 

She wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace, almost knowing that deep down my heart was breaking for not being able to have something I desperately wished for. 

“In time, you and Noah will find a way to leave your love so it can carry on,” Astrid assured me. 

Over her voice, another seemed to speak quietly in my ear; a voice I hadn’t heard in years. 

It’s okay. 

TAY

With a yawn, I buried myself deeper into the blankets on my bed while browsing through the adoption site on my phone. It was a long day of shopping with Y/N and then her surprise birthday party. The second I stepped foot into my apartment, I made a beeline for the shower and then immediately jumped into bed. Jesse emerged from the bathroom across the hall from my bedroom and turned the light off with a soft click. For a long moment, the dogs that were up for adoption were a forgotten thought as I tracked my eyes over the tattoos that littered Jesse’s bare torso; the ones I spent many nights kissing. 

“Like what you see?” He teased while tying back the curls from his face before climbing into bed with me. 

“Very much so,” I grinned while plugging in my phone and snuggled closer into his warm chest. 

We lay there as a rerun of Ghost Adventures played on the television and I dragged my nail over the tiger tattoo across his stomach. 

“Everything alright?” Jesse questioned while brushing his lips over my forehead. 

I sighed while giving a limp shrug. “Why do you let me look at dogs for adoption when I cant get one because this stupid apartment doesn’t allow it?” 

“Is it the same husky?” His hand dragged up and down my spine, causing shivers to cover my skin. 

“Yeah,” I pouted while looking up at him. “She’s all white with bright blue eyes! And her name is Sky. How cool would it be to name her Skyline?!” 

He chuckled at my excitement. “It would be cute.” 

Kicking my feet in another pout, I buried my face in the crook of his neck to breathe in his familiar scent. The last four months with him had been a whirlwind of emotions. I’d have my fair share of terrible relationships so when we started dating it was like a breath of fresh air. Jesse showed me how I deserved to be treated and if he could, I knew he’d give me the moon and stars in a necklace so I could walk around with them all the time.  

My heart beat wildly in my chest when Jesse hooked my leg over his hips to pull me closer to him. 

“You’re too far away from me, darlin,” he whispered. 

Giggling, I pressed a kiss to his chest. “Can you tell me something so I stop thinking about the poor husky in the cold and dark shelter?” 

“What do you want to know?” 

Suddenly my head snapped up so I could stare down at him. “Tell me where the hell Mochi came from?” 

Jesse sucked in a breath. “Can’t do that. I promised Noah I’d take that to the grave.”

I batted my bright eyes at him while jutting out my bottom lip. “Please?” 

Wrapping his arm around me, Jesse hooked his other arm behind his head. “Alright, so it started when Hollow Souls and Bad Omens were touring together a couple years ago.” 

NOAH 

I bounced on the soles of my feet, excitedly waiting for Y/N to arrive. My one gloved hand was shoved deep in my coat pocket while the other was out as I stared down at the makeup that went into making it look old and wrinkled; along with my face. We never had plans to make a music video for Just Pretend but with how it blew up over night on Tik Tok and we realized how much people love the song, we knew it had to be done. 

Just Pretend was mine and Y/N’s song, something that was meant for the two of us. But my mind immediately began to run with ideas on how we could make the music video work for our Concrete Jungle universe. Thankfully, she was on board with the entire idea even though she was a bit worried about her being in the music video with me. 

“It’s just your arm and bracelet, angel. No one will see your face.”

“Five minutes, Noah!”

Glancing over my shoulder towards Erik, I nodded. “Y/N’s almost here.” 

Erik Rojas nodded with a sly smile before looking back at the computer monitor, going over what we had shot yesterday with the younger couple in the music video. I worked from 8 in the morning to nearly midnight and by the time I got home and crawled into bed next to Y/N, she was fast asleep. This morning, I left even earlier with a kiss to her forehead. For nearly six hours, I sat in a chair so the make up department could age me by sixty years. 

Y/N had plans with Matt this morning, something about him needing her for something top secret that not even I knew. When I tried to ask her about it in our earlier texts, she simply sent a gif of someone locking their lips. 

“Well, who’s this handsome fellow?” 

Turning on my heels, my heart soared into my chest when I saw Y/N walk through the door of the building we were shooting the video in, her usual glow behind her; one that I immediately noticed was muted gray, darkness creeping in. 

“Are you alright?” I questioned while cupping her cheek with my gloved hand. 

Her face faltered, only for a moment, before she gave me a bright yet forced smile. 

“Please don’t lie to me,” I sighed. “What’s wrong?” 

Y/N nodded in my grasp. “The endo pain is bad today. But I’ll be okay.”

“Angel,” I sighed while rubbing a thumb just under her eye. “We can reschedule. I don’t want you to force yourself  to work.” 

“I promise,” Y/N’s finger hooked in the belt loop of my pants to bring me closer to her, resting her chin on my chest while looking up at me. “I’ll be fine. But you know what will help?” 

I raised a brow, as best as I could underneath all of the prosthetics. “What’s that?” 

“Ice cream on the way home tonight,” her eyes shined. 

With a chuckle, I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Whatever you want, angel.”

We stayed in this position for a little bit, ignoring everyone around us as they set up the next scene of the music video. Having her in my arms felt like my soul was home 

“So this is what old Noah looks like, huh?” She tapped my wrinkled cheek before scrunching up her face in disgust at the large premade stain of my white shirt. “How bad is it bothering you that you can’t wash that?” 

I groaned while letting my eyes shut. “So bad.”

We both shared a laugh as I brought her into my embrace, catching her wrist with my gloved hand. “Did you wear your bracelet?” 

Motioning towards her caught wrist, I pulled down the sleeve of her jacket to see the silver chain around her. 

“I never take it off, Noah. You know that.”

It was true. 

Y/N wore the bracelet and necklace all the time, never taking it off. Even when she showered. She said it was a way to have me with her when I wasn’t. 

Holding her close, I breathed in her familiar scent of peaches. “Does this old man get a kiss from his best girl?” 

Y/N hummed while stepping on the tips of her toes and brushed a kiss across my lips. It was one that was barely felt, gone before it registered in my brain. She was teasing me because of what I’d done to her this morning. While I was saying goodbye, I brushed my fingers over her slick folds underneath the blanket teasing her clit a few times before slipping out of the bedroom. She fell asleep naked last night, something we both did often. Mostly because of wanting the intimacy of feeling our skin against each other. We rarely did it for anything sexual. Sure there were times we woke up in the middle of the night wanting to be connected but I’d rather have the spiritual connection of having our bodies pressed up against each other. 

“Angel,” I began but she was swiftly called over by the make up department, needing to get her ready for her part of the music video. 

Giving them a nod, she turned back towards me to ruffle my hair. “I’ll see you in a bit, mochi.” 

She slipped through my fingers like a ghost, further creating distance between me; physically and spiritually. Ever since my dreamstate, I’d been feeling this undeniable urge to make sure Y/N knew how much she meant to me. I needed to prove to her that I’d do whatever it took to make sure she was loved and cared for until her last breath. 

Not only because of the dreamstate but because of Matt and Faye getting engaged and Jolly and Astrid news of becoming parents soon, it seemed to put my ass in gear. I was done floating along with my relationship. I couldn’t put this off any longer. It was burning a hole in Michael’s top dresser drawer. 

“Noah, you ready?” One of the assistants helping out Erik called over to me from his position next to the old chair surrounded by monitors. 

“One second,” I said while pulling out my phone and clicking on the ‘House Boy’s’ group chat. 

Me: What time is our studio session on Friday?

Michael: We’re booked from 12-5. Think it’ll be enough time?

Me: Should be. We just need to track yours and Y/N’s vocal’s. Chase said we can use their studio to mix everything. 

Jesse: I don’t know how you managed to talk Y/N into being a cover on the OST. 

I snickered at that, remembering how persistent I was in trying to get her to agree. I’d brought it up to her the other night at dinner when I caught her and Michael singing together. Chief was already a planend feature on the CJ OST but we’d been trying to find a perfect female voice that would match well with Michael’s. 

Y/N was apprehensive at first when I asked if she wanted to do it only because we were still pretty private with our relationship, not making it public knowledge yet. But I assured her that we shouldn’t care what people think about that aspect. Hollow Souls being a feature on Bad Omens next album would be huge. 

Michael: It’s because I’m just so handsome. 

Me: 😒

Jesse: Honestly, that makes a lot of sense if you think about it. 

Me: I hate you guys so fucking much. 

Michael: That’s a weird way to say I love you. 

Jesse: SMOOCHES! 

Rolling my eyes at them with a slight chuckle, I pocketed my phone and shifted into work mode by spending the next little while filming my part of the video; finger pressing the button of the remote in my hand and clawing at the tube in my throat. It was pretty easy and went smoothly. By the time I finished, Y/N had returned dressed in a white cardigan sweater and her left arm done with the special effect make-up, her bracelet sparking under the low light of the set as I sat up from the chair. 

“I still think we should have aged you by sixty years so we could match,” I joked as she reached me. 

“Will you read to me by the ocean when I’m old and gray?” She teased while pulling me closer by my own sweater to press a kiss to my lips.  

“Until our last dying breath,” I vowed with all the seriousness in my voice. 

Our eyes met in a fiery trance, neither of us wanting to break it first and the longer we stared at each other, I could see the light slowly beginning to ignite behind hers once again. 

“Are you ready for your big moment?” I asked as we began walking down the long hallway towards the made up hospital room where Y/N would be. 

She snorted while linking our fingers together, hands beginning to sway between us. “All I have to do is lay there while the doctors try to save my life. Just show the bracelet and make sure it looks pretty.” 

I pulled us to a stop in the hallway, twirling her around and pulling her into my chest; her laughter echoing all around us. 

“That shouldn’t be too hard for you because you’re always pretty,” I winked before capturing her lips into a kiss. 

It was slow, both of us taking our time tasting each other, and Y/N hummed into my mouth when my tongue brushed against her bottom lip. 

“GET A ROOM!” Bryan’s voice called from down the hall before we heard the rapid clicking of his camera. 

Flipping him off, I pressed another kiss to Y/N’s lips and held her close to my chest while looking at Bryan, who snapped another picture of us. 

“Cool if I get shots of you in the bed?” He asked Y/N. 

She nodded before looking up at me. “Are you all finished for the day?” 

“Almost. I just need the shot of me walking down the hallway to your room.” 

“Perfect,” Y/N kissed my chin. “I can’t wait for the ice cream.” 

She walked away from me but halted, turning swiftly on her feet to face me again. “What movie are we on tonight?” 

I chuckled while stuffing my hands in the pockets of my pants. “Two Towers. Matt is going to want to do the extended version.” 

Back on her birthday, we watched all three Hobbit movies and last night we watched Fellowship of The Ring together; something Matt made known how upset he was that we watched it without him. So we promised we’d go over to his and Faye’s place tonight to watch the next one. 

Y/N rolled her eyes with an over the top sigh. “I guess since he’s my best friend that’s okay.” 

Erik popped his head out of the hospital room. “We’re ready for you, Y/N.” 

Witha thumbs up, she ran back over to me with a playful smirk. “I can’t get over how good you look.” 

She breathed over my lips before pushing away from me and following Erik into the room at the end of the hall. 

With a cheeky smile, I walked back towards where I was previously sitting in the chair with the monitors around me. The plan was for me to wake up from my memory core dreaming when the memory of my younger love was dying and follow the doctors down the hall to where old Y/N was laying in the bed dying. 

Thank Hades my dreamstate didn’t end up like that. 

MICHAEL

“I'm not afraid of the war you've come to wage against my sins. I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend.” 

Y/N cringed while adjusting the headset over her ears. “Can we maybe turn my voice down? I feel like I might be too loud.”

I nodded while adjusting the necessary buttons before speaking into the microphone that echoed into the recording booth. “Try now.”

Noah sat next to me, watching Y/N with adoration in his eyes as she sang the opening part of Just Pretend again; for the third time. We were in the studio for the last three hours and I finished recording my vocal parts a while ago. Y/N wanted to make sure her vocal take was perfect because this song meant so much to her. 

“That shirt looks familiar,” Jolly spoke while motioning towards the shirt Y/N was wearing as he walked into the studio with a tray full of coffees from Fika.

“I haven’t seen her wear the shirt since our zoo day,” Noah said while taking a long sip of his coffee. 

How did he not burn his throat?

As Y/N continued to track her vocals, getting lost in the lyrics, I moved my head back and forth while quietly signing it along with her. Matt sat on the other side of me as we both conversed ideas on how to make the track once Y/N was finished. Noah’s knee couldn't stop bouncing as he kept his gaze between his phone and Y/N.

“She sounds really good, huh?” He mused with a goofy smile on his face. 

“Y/N and Noah sitting in a recording booth. K-I-S-S-I-. Ow, mother fucker!” I yelled, rubbing my arm after he punched me. 

“Noah Sebastian! What have I said about hurting our friends?” Y/N’s yelled at him through the booth. 

He pointed to me. “He started it!” 

Rolling my eyes, I pressed the button for the microphone in the booth. “Did you want to take a break?” 

She shook her head. “I want to do one more run through. I feel like I can get my voice a bit higher.”

Matt nodded while throwing his finger in a circle. “Let’s go for one more run.”

Furious typing out of the corner of my eye made me look over to Noah, who was clearly trying to keep his composure. 

“It’s going to be fine, Noah,” I assured him quietly. “You don’t have to worry.”

He looked away from his phone, knee still bouncing with anticipation, and did his best to nod. “I know. It’s just killing me not being there.”

“Jesse told you to trust him. So trust him,” I reminded Noah of our conversation with Jesse this morning. 

Noah pinched his eyes shut and let out an aggravated groan. “I still haven't heard from the realtor. I’m freaking out.” 

Jolly rested his hand on Noah’s shoulder. “You can’t rush something like this, Noah. You just need to be patient.”

Chase and Malcolm sat on the couch behind me and they were snickering about something which caused me to spin in my chair to face them with a raised brow. 

“Something funny love birds?” I teased. 

Chase ran a hand over his buzzed head, still snickering about something. “We tried to reassure Noah when we talked to him at Y/N’s birthday that there’s nothing to worry about.” 

Malcolm spoke next, bumping his knee with Chase’s. “It’s just funny to see Mochi freaking about little details when we all know she doesn't care about that kind of stuff” 

“I swear to god,” Noah grumbled with narrowed eyes. “I fucking hate when you guys call me that.” 

Our conversation ceased when the door behind Noah opened, Y/N stepping out of the sound booth. 

“What are you guys talking about that have all of you in a serious mood? No one is even paying attention to my record,” she pouted her lips. 

Matt raised his hand. “I was paying attention.” 

“Kiss ass,” Jolly snorted while handing Y/N her coffee. “Astrid made yours with another shot of espresso.” 

She widened her eyes before taking a tentative sip. “Is she trying to keep me up all night or something?” 

All of us shared a quick look and then Matt packed up his things, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. “Alright, losers. I’m out of here. I’m meeting Faye after she finishes up her shoot with some clients at the pier.” 

This caused Y/N to perk up. “Did you remember-?”

Matt waved his hand with a loud shush before ruffling her hair. “I’ll text you later with the details.” 

Noah pulled Y/N down to his lap. “You two have been really secretive the last couple of days.” 

She tapped his nose. “Not my business to tell, mochi bean.” 

We all laughed while waving goodbye to Matt and Jolly, I eased back into my chair while looking at my watch. 

“We still have the studio for an hour. Feel confident with what we have?” I asked. 

Noah rested a hand on her thigh. “It’s up to you, angel. Bad Omens and Chief got what we needed.” 

She glanced over to Chase and Malcolm. “What do you guys think?” 

Malcolm tucked a curly piece of auburn hair behind his ear. “I think we got what we needed. But it’s up to you, sweets.” 

As the three of them talked, Noah’s glittering gaze lingering on the side of Y/N’s face, I pulled out my phone from my pocket when I felt it vibrate twice. 

Jesse Cash: All set. 

Jesse Cash: No thanks to me, though. Tay did everything. I was just here to make sure she didn’t fall off the ladder. 

Letting out a low cough, I got Noah’s attention and gave him a small nod. 

He sucked in a large breath before tapping Y/N’s thigh. “Why don’t you give it one more go? Just to make sure it’s perfect. I know how much of a perfectionist you are.” 

She rolled her eyes and kissed his forehead. “You’re the one to talk! But you’re right. You don’t mind waiting around for me?” 

This is where phase one starts. 

“I should get home to let Kuma out. Jesse and Tay have been gone all day, along with us,” Noah said. 

Y/N pouted but nodded. “I’ll get a ride home from Michael.” 

“No can do. I’ve got a date after this,” I informed. 

I didn’t. It was a lie to set up phase two. 

“We’ll give you a ride home, sweets,” Chase spoke up. 

After she gave Noah a quick kiss, Y/N walked back into the booth leave the four of us alone again. 

I pointed to him. “Don’t go snooping.” 

“Trust me, I don’t need to know what you have hiding in your dresser,” Noah shivered while gathering his things and blowing a kiss to Y/N. 

“Good luck, mochi bean!” Chase called after him. 

CHASE

“Oh my god, Chase. Why are you driving so slow!” Y/N whined from the backseat of the car. “I’m tired and want to get home to my boys!” 

I tapped my fingers along the steering wheel with the beat from the radio as I slowly glided along the familiar roads leading to her house. We were waiting for a text from Noah giving us the thumbs up and with us being a few blocks away with no text, I had to do whatever I could to buy some time. 

“You know, sweets,” Malcolm turned slightly in the passenger seat so he could look back at her when I stilled the car at a red light. “We miss you. We just want to spend some time with you.” 

In the rearview mirror, I saw a slight frown pull on Y/N’s lips. 

“I miss you guys too,” she sighed. “Maybe next weekend I can spend the weekend at your place. Like old times?” 

“We’d like that,” Malcolm said. 

I spoke up next, locking eyes with her in the rearview mirror. “We’re proud of you, Y/N. With all the hell you overcame the last couple of years. There were moments we thought we would lose you but you pushed through because you’re strong.”

Her bottom lip trembled as Malcolm continued where I left off. “We love you, sweets. You’re a sister to me and would do anything to keep you safe even if you don’t need us anymore.” 

“I do need you guys,” her eyes were wet with tears. “You guys have kept me safe from the start of Hollow Souls. You were there when I needed a shoulder to cry on because of Trey and when I found myself in that darkness after the hotel room with Noah, you two brought light when I needed it most. I owe you guys my life.” 

I rubbed my nose, hoping to hide the sniffle because I didn’t want to show my emotions in front of them. I’d always been the strong one between us three. I needed to be. 

A loud horn sounded behind my car causing all three of us to jump so with a breath, I began to drive again, still at the pace from before. 

“I can’t believe you guys have me crying,” Y/N chuckled while brushing away her tears. 

Malcolm snorted. “You say that like you’re not already a big baby.” 

The two of them began to fight in the car which caused me to push away their hands while trying to drive. 

“Knock it off kids! Don’t make me turn this car around,” I warned. 

Laughter filled the car as a new text came through to Malcolms phone, him peering down at it. 

“We’re good,” he mouthed. 

Putting a little more weight to my foot, I let the car increase in speed as we reached Y/N’s house in a matter of minutes. 

THIRD PERSON POV

Waving goodbye to Chase and Malcolm, Y/N walked up the steps towards the house with her keys in her hand. All of the lights were off which made her pause momentarily because she thought at least Noah was home. When she reached the door, a bright green sticky note caught her eye immediately. 

Follow the trail.

A quiet squeal fell from her lips when she realized what was going on. It was like their redo date all over again. The sun was slowly starting to set so she barely had enough light to see the violet petals guiding her to the side of the house where on the gate of the fence was another note. 

I'm so afraid that the walls that I have made have locked me in.

Y/N’s brows furrowed as she picked off the sticky note and continued to follow the trail of violet petals into their backyard where she saw yet another sticky note on the shed that housed all of their gardening equipment. 

I'm not okay but I can try my best to just pretend. So will you wait me out until I let you down? So will you wait me out until I let you down?

The familiar lyrics pulled on her heart strings, having just recorded her version a few hours ago. Just Pretend was her and Noah’s song, a way they can be bound together for the rest of their days. A way to show others how strong their love for one another is. 

Yet again following the trail of petals deeper into the back yard, her eyes locked in on a bright green sticky note on the concrete patio. 

I can wait for you at the bottom. I can stay away if you want me to. I can wait for years if I've gotta. Heaven knows I ain't getting over you. 

Soft acoustic notes played throughout the vastness of their backyard causing Y/N to snap her head up from reading the note to see Noah clad in a black sweater, joggers, jacket, and beanie, blending into the growing darkness of the night. However he was illuminated by the bright fairy lights that were connected from tree to tree, basking him in an angelic glow. 

He sat on a pillow that was laid on a pile of blankets with a guitar perched in his lap, fingers strumming a few notes before his voice broke through the space between them. 

I'm so afraid.

That the walls that I have made have locked me in.

I'm not okay.

But I can try my best to just pretend.

Choking on a breath, Y/N stood a few feet in front of him with her hand grasping at the two necklaces over her original Bad Omens shirt; the one she wore during their zoo day years ago.

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

Noah sang with his eyes shut, finding himself deep within the lyrics. His heart was beating so fast in his chest, he was afraid that it would burst through, leaving a bloody mess in front of Y/N. He wanted to give her his heart for the rest of his life just not in that gruesome kind of way. 

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I've gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Y/N took four large steps towards Noah and knelt down in front of him on the pile of blankets. There was a roaring fire blazing heat next to them and she saw a bead of sweat drip down the exposed skin of neck peeking through his sweater. Although she couldn’t tell if it was because of the heat or nerves. 

I know the pain.

That you hide behind the smile on your face.

And not a day.

Goes by that I don't wish it'd go away.

From the moment he saw Y/N walk off the Hollow Souls tour bus that day a few years ago, he knew she would hold his soul forever. They would be bound by that string that would tug when they were apart or pulsate when they were close by. 

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

So will you wait me out until I let you down?

There were moments Y/N would wake up from nightmares of when she walked out of the hotel room, leaving broken Noah behind. She vowed every time she woke up from one of those nightmares that she would continue to prove to Noah that she deserves him. 

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

Can we try again?

When we're not so different.

Can we make amends?

Why can't we just pretend?

Noah shifted a bit in his spot on the blankets and opened his eyes to see Y/N with tears in hers and he desperately wanted to wipe them away. He hated when she would cry. Hell, he hated whenever she was in pain whether it was emotional or physical. When she was dealing with terrible endo pains a few days ago, Noah made her a fort of blankets on the couch with her heating pad and snacks galore. They watched all of her favorite movies all day while he gently rubbed away the cramps from her lower abdomen. 

He would do whatever it took to make sure she didn’t live the rest of her days in pain. 

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning.

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

They both were so lost in the haze of Noah’s angelic voice that Y/N hadn’t noticed the patio door behind her slide open just a hair.

I can wait for you at the bottom.

I can stay away if you want me to.

I can wait for years if I gotta.

Heaven knows I ain't getting over you.

As Noah poured out his love for Y/N, memories of their album release party played in his mind. When they were desperate to find each other that night, desperate for their souls to connect as one again while being guided by someone that had been trying to set them up from the beginning. 

Can we try again?

When we're not so different.

Can we make amends?

Why can't you just.

Y/N was desperate to touch him but was so afraid of breaking him from the trance. She’d never heard this version of Just Pretend and the rawness of the lyrics along with Noah’s vocal’s brought even more tears to her eyes. As Noah sang the last few lines, his eyes opened fully for the first time, immediately locking with hers. 

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Weigh down on me, stay 'til morning

Way down, would you say I'm worthy?

Both were silent for a long moment, Noah setting the guitar down next to them on the blankets before pulling her into his arms. 

“I love you, Y/N,” he proclaimed into her hairline. 

She desperately grasped at his sweater, needing to feel him close. “I love you too, Noah. I’ve never heard that version before.” 

Pulling away from her a bit, those dark amber eyes peered down at her and brushed away strands of hair from her face. He marveled the way the freckles across her nose seemed to stand out amongst the fairy lights dancing above. 

“I wrote it back when we weren’t talking, after that night in the hotel. I was in a dark place and it showed in those lyrics. But now, I feel like you deserve to hear it. I need those lyrics to have new meaning. Something good.” 

Their lips collided in a kiss fueled by so much power, it made her nearly falter in Noah’s embrace so he laid Y/N down on the pile of blankets softly. She let herself fall into him, his tongue overpowering hers as he deepened the kiss. His hips pressed into hers causing her to moan into the kiss. 

“Noah,” she breathed. 

“I love you so fucking much. I need to prove it to you, angel. Please? Will you let me?” He begged while leaving harsh bites along the tender skin across her neck. 

Her nails scratched at the ink underneath his sweater. “You have, Noah. You always have.” 

Noah’s teeth nipped and sucked at her bottom lip while his hand began to guide her shirt up over her stomach, ready to pull it off of her but a blur of fur nearly toppled over them. 

“Oh, fuck. Kuma! Who let you out,” Noah groaned while sitting back on his knees, fixing the beanie on his head that became askew from his make out session with Y/N. 

She giggled while still laying on the blanket and peering up at Kuma, scratching at his chin and neck. 

“Hi baby. I know I missed you too,” her infectious laughter echoed in the back yard as Kuma pawed at her. 

Suddenly her hand brushed up against the new bright teal collar around Kuma’s neck, her gasping before snapping her gaze over towards Noah, who was silent. His eyes were on fire, vibrant with his tears, and a slight smile on his kiss bruised lips. 

After shooing Kuma away, Noah pressed himself to Y/N again so he could feel her close as she spoke in his ear. Professing her undying love, support, adoration, and praise. She agreed to Noah’s words, giving him every part of her until her last breath. His hands raked over every inch of her body, tracing it to memory, before sliding the shirt up over her head while she helped him out of his joggers. 

That night underneath the fairy lights and Noah’s soft vocals echoed in the air, inking on their skin, their souls merged as one. The invisible string binding them together in a knot so fierce, not even the fire blazing next to them could burn it away. 

One look at Y/N eyes and Noah would cave in. One taste of the life they could possibly have together made them both crave it. Both of them were in over their heads when they found each other but now, they knew what they needed. They needed something beautiful to shine through the darkness of their lives. They both needed this miracle. 

[uhohbestie]

There Are Monsters Nearby [Chapter 42]

🏜 Pairing: Grian/Scar

🧟‍♂️ Tags: zombie AU, zombie apocalypse, lovers to exes, slow burn, eventual reconciliation

📖 Summary: The day after Scar breaks up with Grian, the dead come back to life. Knowing that venturing out alone is a death sentence, the sudden onset of the apocalypse forces them to stick together despite their tensions. In the wreckage of the world, they're forced to survive side-by-side, coming to terms with the fact that—try as they might—there's still no one they trust more than each other.

Chapter 42 - The story of There Are Monsters Nearby concludes as Scar and Grian turn away from their past and look towards the future.

📝 Words: 11,088

🔗 Link: Read Chapter 42 on AO3

—

“I want you to get Pop Tarts,” Grian says, his attention cast to the side while Scar works, looking towards the settlement in the distance. It’s a fair ways off, looking more like a grey-brown smudge from where they stand— a collection of RVs and camper vans clustered close together in the lee of a grassy ridge, the surrounding hills fringed in sparse junipers and hardy looking spruce saplings. There’s an open space between them, dotted with small lumps that Scar knows are grazing cattle and a clustered herd of goats.

The ruins of a city lay further off to the east, the handful of buildings not blackened from fire standing empty and abandoned. It’s from there that the zombies have been drifting out, a perpetual source of mindless, wandering horror. Though now, thanks to Scar’s aim and Grian’s tenacious knack for violence, the tide will hopefully have been stemmed to some degree.

“And whatever milk and cheese they’ve got. I saw all their animals, there’s no way they don’t have dairy to spare.”

It’s an endearing quirk that Grian has adopted ever since it became clear his diet was permanently changed. He likes to pick things for Scar to eat now, planning and suggesting his meals with whatever they scavenge, hunt, and barter. He’s never been a good cook, not even before the world fell apart, but it’s been sweet the way he's applied himself to improving, the two times he gave Scar food poisoning already becoming fond memories in their own way.

When the last zombie’s head has been separated from its body, Scar yanks a glove onto his hand and begins gathering them all, shoving each one into a canvas sack that he uses for the sole purpose of demonstrating their worth to any sceptical marks they come across. Once he’s done, he sets the bag down, putting out his arm and drawing Grian in close.

“Good work out there,” he compliments, pressing a kiss to the top of his partner’s head. Grian’s hair is clean and smells incredibly good—like sandalwood and something crisp—everything about him well-maintained, despite the state of the world around them. “You really treated those googlies like you had a score to settle.”

Without hesitation Grian leans into Scar’s touch, the easy return of his affection still a novelty, despite how many weeks Scar’s been allowed and able to enjoy it.

“You weren’t so bad yourself,” he offers, his words mumbled sweetly into the thick flannel of Scar’s shirt. “You’re getting to have a real hawk-eye with your aim, you know.”

“I love it when you say I’m a hot guy,” Scar preens, deliberately mishearing him. “Got a real nice ring to it.”

[ read more ]

—

Chapter 42! 380k words and ten months later, we are so happy to announce that we've come to the end of our story. While there's still so much more of TAMN left that we plan to write and share, this portion is over, and we couldn't be happier. Thank you so, so much for going on this journey with us, and we hope you enjoy the epilogue and ending of There Are Monsters Nearby 💜🧡

You can read the whole fic thus-far in the link below ↓↓↓

You may not rest now, There Are Monsters Nearby (on ao3!)

[giallos]

in the romcom genre, the pairing gets a happy ending. no exceptions. romances that don't end with happy endings for the main pairing aren't considered romances by genre conventions. so, given that tim and oliver have been calling bucktommy a romcom... what's all this then? this is normally the place in the story where the couple just emerges from their honeymoon period to hit rock bottom. (see: the black moment). the characters hit a hurdle that seems insurmountable and then are forced to work through the issues keeping them apart to find their way back to one another. the third act breakup before the eventually happy ending. so... what's all this then? if i hadn't read the interviews i would've pegged this as the black moment, the temporary hurdle placed in the couple's way before they eventually work past it.

so where do they go from here? if this is actually not meant to last, i do think the breakup is going to leave a sour taste in some people's mouths even if B/T get back together. and they expressed wanting to get buck off the "hamster wheel" so just putting him in another string of not-meant-to-last relationships seems regressive. (i think having buck sleeping around could actually be interesting if handled well, but right now i don't know if i trust this writing staff with that sort of arc.)

also i will be honest and say, to me, it doesn't sound like lou is 100% absolutely not coming back. it feels like the door's been left ajar (which, they'd be dumb to completely slam it shut and cut off a potential avenue of stories just like that but still). and we should keep in mind that most of these journalists are B/E shippers first so there might be a slant baked into their interviews.

i just don't know where this is going now after being told by tim "this is a romcom" (thanks tim, you've broken genre rules if this is a permanent breakup) and that he wanted to get buck off the hamster wheel. i suppose they can pivot to buck taking what he learned into a new relationship but he's already done that after abby, after ali, after taylor, after natalia... it's just boring. if they didn't want buck to settle into being with tommy because they weren't sure how to write SLs for him that's a skill issue. they've written bathena just fine without constant relationship issues. they're happy and settled together but still have conflict that doesn't necessarily have to be relationship-related. they could've easily done that for bucktommy too. (kind of an aside, but it also feels like they don't really know what sort of SLs to give henren and madney.)

after going through the trouble to bring tommy back, set him up to fit in with the 118, stating that tommy being a firefighter/pilot could lead to his inclusion on calls, introduce and hint at backstory that tommy longs for family/belonging, only to never actually deliver on it... why?

[ang3lofdivinity]

Because I’m trying to get back into writing more…

Imagine: Daisuke and you on the Tulpar managing to find time to spend together doing something like.. making food for the crew. No matter what your job is, you’re always willing to help him out with baking whenever needed!

“Dai, can you-“ You immediately freeze, looking over at your boyfriend who has made a rather large mess on the counter. He had dropped the batter out of the mixing bowl somehow, enough for it all to pour out as he holds the messy, metallic bowl and spatula in his hands. His expression? Dumbfounded to say the least

You genuinely cannot contain the giggles that escape your throat upon seeing the scene before you.

“Hey!! This isn’t funny!” He immediately pouts, whipping his head around to face you before looking back down at the bowl, using the spatula to scrap whatever remains are within the bowl and slinging them at you, causing you to laugh even harder - tears falling down your cheeks.

The batter had splattered on your clothes, along with your neck. But hey! At least you got a nice laugh out of it.

Quickly, your hands swiftly grab the nearest thing, which just so happens to be an opened sweetener pack, as you launch it towards him, causing him to squeal like a mouse.

This then, continues. For nearly hours as you laugh and cry about your food fight, throwing ingredients at each other as you can’t find a care in the world for the mess you’re creating. Only caring about your boyfriend’s happiness.

Other food items, utensils (non-harming ones), and bowls were thrown. The bowls and utensils clattered as they fell to the ground, nearly causing you both to fall at certain times as you raced around the dining table in the center, trying to avoid getting hit once more.

There’s honestly nothing that can ruin this-

“What are IDIOTS doing???”

Upon hearing Swansea’s voice, you both instantaneously pause, staring over at the old man standing in the doorway.

Without a second to spare, you quickly rush over to Daisuke, who’s practically trembling under Swansea’s gaze.

“You stupid kids! Why would you waste these products!?” He yells, brows furrowed.

You move in front of Daisuke rather protectively, clearing your throat.

“It was my fault, Mr Swansea. I instigated this, and pressured him to join me in.. what I thought was fun. I’m so sorry. We’ll clean this up right away and salvage all that we can.” You bow your head in respect, lips now pursed.

“Just, don’t do it again..” He huffed as he turned on his heel, now leaving as the door slid shut.

It takes you guys a moment before you start giggling ever so slightly.

Imagine: You are sleeping, and then you suddenly hear your door open in the middle of the night. Surprise, it’s Daisuke! And even when trying to tough it out - he eventually can’t find it within him to go back to sleep without company. So he goes to your room to ask if he can sleep with you because being with you makes him feel better.

You groggily manage to raise yourself enough to sit on your bed, eyes blinking slowly as you try to adjust to your surroundings. Yawning, you finally see who’s opened your door.

Daisuke.

“..Sweetheart, it’s still nighttime. Can whatever you have to say wait until morning?..” Your voice is slightly raspy, but you try your best to sound as kind as you can, giving a small smile to the man in the doorway.

“I um.. sorry- I can go.. I didn’t mean to disturb you..” He fumbles over his words, fidgeting with his fingers as he stumbles backwards a bit. Something.. something seems wrong with his tone, however. Like something’s genuinely going wrong. So, that really gave you a wake-up call.

How could you push away your boyfriend in order to get just a bit more sleep tonight when he seems so distressed??

“Wait!-“ You quickly call out, causing him to stop him from leaving once he showed signs of him beginning to leave. You couldn’t let him leave just like that!

He turns to you, a worried look on his face. As if he’d done something wrong. You’ve seen that look before. He makes the same face whenever Swansea calls out his name all of the sudden, making him stiffen up, worrying that’d done something wrong.

But he hasn’t.

He’s just a young adult, like you.

Just trying to live.

Just. Like. You.

“..Come here.” Your voice is softer, sounding much more normal to how you normally sound - yet it still has that tired tinge to it.

He stares at you for a moment, confused about what’s happening before obliging. He slowly enters, the door sliding closed behind him as he awkwardly stands near the side of the bed where you’re resting. Swiftly, you lift up the covers, moving back a bit before patting the free spot on your bed.

“Come on. We can talk about it in the morning if you’re ready then.”

He almost immediately jumps into your arms upon crawling up into bed with you, wrapping his own around you while burying his face away into your shoulder. One of your hands glides up, finding its way into his hair, tangling with strands of it, stroking his hair, massaging his scalp - doing simple things to try and get him to relax a bit more.

Which works.

He’s out once more, arms wrapped around each other.

Imagine: Giving little gifts to each other with small letters of affirmation written on little post it notes. Even if that small gift is just an article of clothing one of you guys borrowed from the other.

‘You’re doing amazing, sweetheart. I’m so proud of you. Keep the good work up, Dai. :)’

- (_____)

Daisuke reads the note attached to a bag of sweetener with a cheeky grin, clearly pleased with this. I mean, he’s been told he’s useless, that he’s just an idiot - but you see through that. You see the effort, the time it takes. Even if it fails, at least he tried to do it.

Quickly he looks around his room for a moment, trying to find the perfect thing to give you.

When he finds it.

.

Upon arriving back to your room from the medic bay, helping Anya with Curly and a few other errands she needed - you’re greeted with the sight of a hoodie somewhat neatly placed on your bed. You furrow your brows, confused for a moment before you approach your bed, now seeing the post-it-note attached to it.

A small grin slowly graces your lips as you tilt your head at the sight, gently taking it off the hoodie.

‘Know that you matter to me! You’re so incredibly awesome, I don’t know how I got to date with someone so cool >:D’

- Daisuke

As your smile grows larger, you realize 2 essential things:

You’re so thankful to have him.

And

He’s the best boyfriend ever. (Even if a bit silly at times).

You love him.

[nam-the-nacho]

Mit2uba's Trauma: An Analogy

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Tw: I will be discussing the abuse Mitsuba has suffered from his environment, nothing that isn't in the manga, but I want to give a heads up. Additionally, I'm fortunate to have not gone though any severe traumatic experience myself, and am instead using my general knowledge, meaning if anything is incorrect here, please point it out!

(Also manga spoilers obviously)

I'm not pretending this hasn't ever been discussed, however I have yet to see an analogy of the consequences of Mitsuba's creation and (practically nonexistent) upbringing.

I'm going to divide this post into sections, but they won't really be organized, maybe chapters is a better definition. This thing is l o n g, so without further ado:

1: Mitsuba being paralleled to a puppet:

This is done quite often, although not in the same ways. Besides the psychological aspects of being Tsukasa's "puppet", as in being forced to do as he says and overall being under his control, but there are physical correlations too.

Tsukasa referring to Mitsuba as a "Thing"

Mitsuba lets Tsukasa hold him. This is much more then a surface-level fact considering Mitsuba usually rejects contact/uses it as an excuse to blame others. This is easily explained by "Mitsuba is simply scared of Tsukasa, he can't tell him no", except Mitsuba doesn't look scared when being held, he just looks, expressionless.

More then that, he completely trusts Tsukasa with his body weight, leaning into his touch and allowing himself to be comforted by it. This obviously occasionally backfires horribly

While Mitsuba being punched is framed in a humorous manner, the implications and weight of it are very heavy. It's all fun and games until you remember this is how Mitsuba is being raised, and it's all he's ever known. If Mitsuba doesn't want to do what Tsukasa tells him too, he gets punched. If he talks back, he gets kicked out of the broadcasting room (we'll get back to this later). If he asks to be Tsukasa's friend, he gets fireworks shoved down his mouth.

And the results of this... well:

This one in particular is interesting to me:

"It's just Mitsuba being surprised because Kou suddenly raised his voice". But that's not what's being illustrated. Upon hearing "brace yourself" even from someone like Kou, who wasn't planning on actively trying to hurt Mitsuba, he literally stiffens, pales, and begins to tremble and sweat, dropping the piece of chalk he was holding (those things break way to easily, yk he was serious). It's not shock or surprise being drawn, it's just genuine fear.

This could very well be me overthinking, but Mitsuba falls in what is almost a doll-like manner, arms and legs completely stiff.

2: Social rejection and trivial treatment:

The Mitsuba chapter (ch. 40) was worse then I remembered.

Mitsuba runs away from the broadcasting room in search of a better, safer place to stay. Only to understand he has none.

What's worse is that these are the characters we see being far kinder to the rest of the cast. We see Yako, Hanako and weirdo super-natural teacher together in his living quarters, watching tv together, but when Mitsuba approaches them...

(Tsuchigomori eventually does stay with him, but his opinion of him doesn't really change.)

"This guy's a pain, I'm out of here"

Tsuchigomori doesn't know Mitsuba, the only time we see them meet was when Tsuchigomori refers to him as emergency rations (above), and when he answered Mitsuba who asked him a question (answer starting with "You seriously don't know?" (YES SIR HOW WOULD HE KNOW HE'S LIKE ONE MONTH OLD)).

He probably heard he's a prankster from Hanako, which is why he wants nothing to do with him.

The point is despite Mitsuba needing to run from the closest thing he considers a "home", not a single supernatural actually understands his situation. Hanako borderline hates him, Nene barley understands he's a different Mitsuba, and Kou tends to accidently frame it as Mitsuba's CHOICE to stay with Tsukasa in the broadcasting room.

This is sadly something that can happen in reality, children trying to escape their less-desirable homes can often find themselves, sickeningly, returning after not finding somewhere or someone to take them seriously.

The most deranged part of this is that as a result of nobody properly digesting that he needs help, Mitsuba himself frequently convinces himself that everything is normal.

The implication that every time Mitsuba fights with Tsukasa he needs to just fend for himself until enough time has passed for Tsukasa to forget is sad. He's an outcast between the wonders for replacing the old No.3, despite his only other choice being death, which they don't know.

Sakura is probably the closest thing Mitsuba has to family, being in a similar situation to him, but it's incorrect to say she truly deeply cares about him. She's fond of Mitsuba, but never goes out of her way to help him when Tsukasa hurts him, and seems to have put her personal safety and goals as a higher priority then him (this isn't Sakura slander, I love my queen).

Natsuhiko treats him like a pet more then a human, and sometimes hits on him, which is just gross. Despite this Mitsuba genuinely appreciates him and sees him as an older brother. It's cruel to see this one-sided ordeal.

We don't actually know Mitsuba's true opinion of Tsukasa. In an almost realistic manner, his opinion is constantly contradictory. Mitsuba is scared of Tsukasa, but at the same time he only feels 'safe' when he's around.

Also, contrary to Sousuke, Mitsuba is more scared of Tsukasa then thunder, which could either mean that Sousuke's phobia of thunder was memory-correlated, or that Mitsuba is SO scared of Tsukasa that thunder is nothing in comparison.

Mitsuba freezing after hearing Tsukasa's voice

vs:

We know Mitsuba is aware that Tsukasa is not treating him okay, but by the time we learn this (pp arc), Mitsuba has half convinced himself that Tsukasa is doing everything he's doing to help him, and that "nobody else can help him anyways". Genuinely Mitsuba is one of the most subtle-yet-obvious victims portrayed in media I've even seen.

3: Ok-yeah-that's-not-okay moments

Do I really need to add anything.

I will anyways. Mitsuba is a dramatic by nature, unrelated to any of the emotional damage he's suffered. The fact that Tsukasa can make him stop crying just by demanding it really shows how bad he messed up Mitsuba. The ability to stop crying on command out of fear..... somebody save him.

Stay away!

Can't add to many pictures because of the tumbler limitations, but in every one of these scenes Mitsuba totally freezes, only regaining control and suddenly snapping once someone (aka Kou) does anything intimidating to him.

Going in-depth about the similarities between Kou and Tsukasa is an entirely different ordeal, but in short summery:

There's a carefully built connection between Tsukasa and Kou, that deserves a post of it's own.

4: Symptoms of trauma:

Trust issues are heavily associated with a problematic childhood, so it's not very surprising that Mitsuba struggles to trust anyone besides Tsukasa, even if he doesn't want to.

Very commonly appearing alongside trauma, self destructive behaviors are a tragically common coping habit. I don't think I need to add any pictures for this one, as practically every other sentence Mitsuba says have some 'Just let me pass away' coding to it.

Lack of memories is a symptom that appears in very severe cases, and while it isn't completely accurate to Mitsuba it's an interesting addition considering Mitsuba has no memories.

5: Character design:

Mitsuba has lots of chains and locks in his wonder form, a lock on his neck (which has multiple interpretations), one preventing his heart from beating, which could be a clever metaphor for Mitsuba further constricting his humanity by "choosing" to become a wonder, but most interesting:

What looks to be the remains of a leg shackle.

Mitsuba in a box labeled as fragile.

6: This definitely isn't symbolism for an eating disorder:

"I'm always hungry, no matter how much I eat" -M

"You starved yourself from all this moping around, just because you didn't want to eat something different?" -K

Can we talk about how the fandom collectively just skipped over the huge reveal that Mitsuba STARVES HIMSELF. Because I feel like that really wasn't talked about. As if this guy doesn't have enough going on, he now has to deal with constant starvation, dehumanization at new never-seen-before-pace, and the loss of his will to exist in the first place.

He is both metaphorically and physically falling apart, constantly in physical pain. When he isn't in physical pain it's because he's experiencing gut-wrenching psychological torment as he can't stop eating live beings. I don't blame this guy.

The only person who knew of this was Tsukasa, until he "told" Kou. Told is in quotation marks because it was never really Mitsuba trusting Kou enough to open up about the hell he's enduring, as mentioned before Mitsuba doesn't exactly know how to trust. The fact was forced out of him due to a dire situation, but Kou could not have reacted in a worse way:

Pro tip: If your reaction to learning that your best buddy is suffering from a complicated relationship with food, is shoving said food into their mouth violently, you might need therapy just as much as they do.

Kou is still unaware that Mitsuba's diet contains living things too, but if we're being honest that doesn't really put Kou in the right here. Like, man, I know you're freaking out because your friend just asked you to end him, but please take out your anger on something that isn't him.

And don't act surprised when this is his reaction:

This is arguably the a result of post traumatic stress disorder. Mitsuba didn't just escape, he hid in the nearest corner, making himself as small as possible, hid his head and trembled. The reason I'm calling this out as PTSD is because the only other time he panicked like this was right after Tsukasa shoved the bird heart down his throat.

So for both situations it's:

Tsukasa force feeds Mitsuba -> Mitsuba loses control (starts attacking everything)

Kou force feeds Mitsuba -> Mitsuba bites Kou

And the results are the same. He reacted the same way because mentally it was the same situation to him, It doesn't matter what the intentions were, Kou triggered an event(s (considering he's eaten multiple supernatural and is absolutely repulsed by it)) that Mitsuba had no intention of revisiting.

Summery:

Mitsuba's trauma is often overshadowed by more obvious displays of mental scarring, like with the Yugi twins and Kou, and is often represented with irony or humor, including by the creators themselves.

Even without everything he's gone though, Mitsuba was always a hopeless character. He just existed one day. He doesn't have anything, anyone. He's never been told he's loved, he's never felt sunlight, he never got to play, he's never had anyone tuck him into bed, or read him a story. He was robbed of his childhood, and any connections besides the few who remember him for someone that he isn't.

He doesn't even know what snow is, yet he knows how blood tastes like

This entire post wasn't even scratching the tip of the iceberg in terms of how much grave emotional turmoil Mitsuba has faced. And will face. Yeah I don't know how well his trust issues will cope with Natsuhiko leaving him to die. If he lives.

The idea of this long rant was to point out that Mitsuba's trauma and mental struggles are just as, if not more, relevant then his physical ones. And they do affect him, and they do have consequences. And they will most certainly come back 20x worse later on in the plot. I would say to prepare mentally, but I know tbhk fans can handle just about anything.

Thank you for reading!

ヾ(≧▽≦*)

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

[commanderyes]

Hey folks

My head is full of storms right now so thought I’d yell a little before I go back to the aether

Hatred and ignorance triumphed this week. There’s no mincing it. No matter how much some of us pointed, and pleaded, and cried out and shook shoulders, the monsters still won. They’ve won in ways we never thought we’d ever see in our lifetimes, and the skies are only gonna get darker and darker from here on out.

I’ve spent these last days trying to comfort so many of my friends, because they are terrified of what’s to come. Because their livelihoods are at risk. Because their LIVES are at risk.

I’ve had to hear them say they are so close to end it all.

And as someone that doesn’t actually live in America I can’t even begin to describe how helpless I feel. To think that I have no power to do anything but listen and encourage and sometimes throw money at them. And then there’s that feeling in the back of my head that even telling them to not give up is nothing but hollow platitudes, -because- I do not live there. Because I have the luxury to “unplug” from all of this. That it’s not my place to speak about not giving up because it’s not -my- ass on the line

But what else am I supposed to do?

I’ve heard friends say the beliefs that helped them pull forward until now have been shattered. I’ve seen people on the internet swear they’re only gonna care for themselves and their families from now on, and the rest can burn for all they care. And I can’t say I don’t feel where they’re coming from. So many of us want to think people can be better. We want to think humans are fundamentally good. I’ve spent six years making fanfic doodles about why we should keep fighting for a world that over and over refuses to be rescued. And now I find myself walking out during breaks at work and just staring at the sky

Why indeed

Because if we give in, if we decide to stop caring entirely, then their victory over us will be absolute.

Because if we are to brave this ocean of blood and shit all over again we are going to do it together. Cling to everyone in your life that matters, cling to love and kindness, cling to happiness, cling to SPITE if that’s what it takes, and then hold on to it with all your fingers and toes and teeth, because no matter how relentlessly ugly it gets, there are still good things in this world, there are good people willing to care and try, and that is worth waking up every morning for, that is the world that needs you in it.

As others have said before, for every moment where we think “It’s So Over” there eventually comes a “We’re So Back”.

If you’re a woman, or poc, or LGBTQ+, or all at once, if you’re any minority whatsoever, or you’re just someone trying to fight the good fight; it’s going to be terrible out there, and that you have to keep on fighting harder than you’ve ever fought before is the cruelest goddamn thing. But even so, please, you have to try. You have to care. You have to endure. You have to stay strong. You have to love yourself.

Take all the time you need to grieve and rest and lick your wounds, and then get back up and continue the fight. Even if the skies get darker, the sun is still out there. Tomorrow is another day.

You are going to make it through this. You are going to outlive the monsters and see the end. You are going to smile and laugh and love again. You are going to survive this, and you are going to live

You get to live.

[evansbuck-ley]

the first time he hears his voice again it’s two months after they break up. they had texted every now and again to check in because they both still cared and he heard through chimney and eddie about how he was doing. but hearing his voice again made buck feel like he had been shot in the chest. he knew he’d eventually run into him on a call but he never expected it in this way.

mayday, mayday. this is firefighter kinard, we are going down.

buck feels cemented to the floor. he know this shouldn’t affect him this much anymore but, fuck, it does. because he knows in his heart he still loves tommy - even though he never got the chance to say it - and now he could be losing him all over again. the next four hours were a blur and buck doesn’t really register what is going on until he is sat in the back of an ambulance, holding tommy’s hand in a death grip. he doesn’t know when he started to cry but right now he was sobbing so much he felt like he was drowning.

and then eddie is prying buck from tommy so the doctors can take him and buck is left stood in the entrance of the ER, the same entrance that they kissed at his sister’s wedding. but instead of being covered in soot, he was covered in tommy’s blood.

he waits and waits and waits until someone, anyone, comes and give him news. eddie stayed with him until bobby could get there, chimney and maddie made an appearance. all of them trying to talk to him, all of them sounding like white noise.

the doctor comes eventually and asks for family of Thomas Kinard and buck panics. he blurts out they are married and the doctor doesn’t even question it. she tells him that tommy is out of surgery and is going to be okay and he can go and see him whenever he is ready. buck lets out the breath he didn’t know he had been holding for all those hours.

he’s guided to tommy’s and there he is. he’s covered in cuts and bruises and wrapped in so many bandages but he’s alive and awake. he walks into his room and they stare at each other for a moment before buck blurts out I love you. and now he is begging and pleading with him. I don’t care you are my first Tommy because you are my last. fuck i thought you was going to die and my whole world just fucking ended Tommy. I’m not letting you give up on us because you are it for me, I love you so much.

tommy is still groggy from the surgery but he can feel himself crying because god, he loves buck so much. and he’s here, his evan, telling him he loves him too and he is fighting for them and tommy can’t keep denying himself this. this forever love that he’s always wanted, because it’s there right in front of him. and his crying so much that he’s got snot running now his face. he reach his hand forward to urge for buck to take it and he does, of course. he pulls him so he is sat on the bed and now it’s Tommy’s turn to beg and plead.

they don’t get back together straight away, but on their wedding day, in his speech, tommy says that’s the day he came back to life.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Making flower crowns for various crps (1/?)

I'm making these like. No bake granola balls and omg I tried some before I put it up and it's so good I'm so excited to try them when they're ready

Characters: slenderman, splendorman, ticci toby, masky, hoodie

Notes: reader is gn, this may be split into 3 parts for the characters , we will see, writing this while in a massive motivation slump chat i am struggling

CWs: none

SLENDERMAN

he already knows what youre doing long before you approach him with the crown... he does feign some level of surprise just for you albeit in the form of lightly raising his brows- he... doesnt emote that often...

he wears it for a while just for you, though he does eventually hang it somewhere so it can dry out and be preserved. he WILL raise hell if someone comes into his woods and steals it like they do his pages. it was a gift you made for him, hes not going to let some wandering hiker steal it from him

just say the word and he will bring you flowers to make more crowns, or better yet take you to where a lot of flowers tend to grow in the woods!

leaves flowers in your room or at your home for you whenever he gets the chance to gather some

SPLENDORMAN

oooooooo did you make that for him? give him a second to make one for you so the two of you can match! no really he only needs a minute or two, hes for the speed and efficiency to make one much much faster than you ever could- whether from experience or excitement or simply being built different... you werent sure!

will loop it around his hat so it rests on the brim.. will point out the specific flowers you wove into it and asks if the choices were intentional... even if they werent hes going to compliment your choices and if youre interested ramble about the meanings of the flowers you did choose

he loves daisies and sunflowers! they look so... "happy" as he puts it!

will dry the crown out so he can keep it long term

MASKY

why would you make him this? not to make him sound ungrateful, he moreso means it in a confused sense because... what use is there to wear this? it is nice, though....

dont even try to snatch it back off of his head hes going to either evade you or grip it to his head in his hands- possibly the most... expressive... youve seen him be in response to non-dangerous things

keeps it stashed away somewhere when he needs to take it off to go into the woods and do his work

he... finds himself making one for you... the process is actually quite calming for him... half of the flowers he picks are actually weeds- not that he cares about the difference. a flower is a flower regardless of where it grows

HOODIE

he likes it! you... think... the mask makes it hard to tell and he just... let you put it on top of his head- you get the feeling that he already knew you were making the crown

keeps it in a safe space, but somewhere visible so you know that he didnt through it out or trash it or whatever- he knows you put time and effort into this and hes going to let you know that hes not going to disregard it... will dry it out like his boss

one night he comes home with all sorts of plants- flowers, weeds, grass, everything he could get his hands on- in his arms and dumps them in front of you- and he starts signing...

...he wants you to show him how to make a crown too!

TICCI TOBY

initially acts like its not that big of a deal or that its really something hes interested in it... but hes shutting you down when you offer to take it back

wears it even when he goes out in the woods, will throw hands if someone snatches it off of his head or damages it in some way. he does NOT care if theyre just flowers!

attempts to dry the crown out, likely fails somewhere down the line and he feels so distraught- he knows that it was going to happen eventually but god does it do nothing to take away the disappointment.. his ass does not know how to effectively preserve plants

you both sit together making crowns

[botchedsundoll]

L. KENNEDY, C. REDFIELD, C. OLIVEIRA X READER (SEPARATE)

ೃ⁀➷ sypnosis; christmas hc’s

ೃ⁀➷ warnings; none! pure fluff

ೃ⁀➷ author’s note; ho ho ho merry christmas idc if its nov its christmas time… do ppl drink on christmas? we do so idek? icl this is all like stuff i made up bcos i don’t celebrate christmas like this but wtv we roll #wesołychświąt

C. OLIVEIRA

do not let this man near the kitchen. everything that can go wrong goes WRONG

ask him to take something out the oven, he drops it. ask him to stir something in the bowl he stirs too vigorously and it goes flying all over the counters

he’s a pain. he’s distracting. constantly getting infront of you with the mistletoe, thinking he’s slick by trying to sneak in kisses. constantly sneaking bites of food whenever he thinks you’re not looking (you are, and you smack his hands away with a spoon)

one thing he’s actually good at and enjoys is cookie decorating. he’ll make little gingerbread men of you two and make them so damn detailed. makes one for jill too, though with less care and her face ends up a bit… strange

he’s THAT person which is always ringing everyone, friends and family, wishing them a merry christmas and sends them stupid gifs slavic babcias love so much (if u dont know what i mean then☹️)

LOVES the whole aspect of the christmas tree yet hates putting it together, it pisses him off to no end and half way through ends up calling you over to help him… definitely picks you up so that you can put the star on top

if he gets an ugly christmas sweater you best believe he’s wearing it for the full day, no shame

L. KENNEDY

depends which leon we’re talking about

younger leon puts in more effort, older leon genuinely can’t be fucked to do much

walks around with a trash bag when everyone’s opening presents so there’s no mess on the floor

your guys’ house is literally the christmas function. every year. mostly due to you inviting everyone round and deciding to host it, much to leon’s annoyance but he doesn’t mind THAT much since he loves you!!

definitely the best gift giver. for some damn reason he just knows what everyone wants, genuinely no explanation for it. he just does

he’s such a sweetheart, constantly asking you if you need help with anything in the kitchen or whether you need him to pop to the store for anything

he 100% sang carols when he was younger. just imagine 7 year old leon, hair gelled back, button up shirt, stood infront of the tv singing carols (lets pretend he didn’t have all that trauma okay)… get him to sing again, he might cave once he’s drunk enough with chris

on the topic of chris, something ALWAYS happens when the pair have had a few and aren’t sober any longer. something always gets broken for some reason

one year, they randomly got up and started dancing. leon went flying into the christmas tree and took it down with him.

i hc him as having a rather large sweet tooth, so he’s always down for some cookie decorating! it’s rather sloppy and they end up looking questionable most of the time, but he ends up eating half of them before he’s even fully finished decorating so that’s not much of a problem anyways

C. REDFIELD

santa. need i say more?

nag him constantly to wear a santa outfit or atleast a santa hat. he will cave eventually

DEFINITELY gets a wallet for christmas every damn year without fail, yet doesn’t even use the damn wallets

him in the kitchen helping you out is definitely… something. he doesn’t know how to measure - what the fuck is a cup?

you asked him to help you out and stuff the turkey. he walked out the kitchen.

gets claire shitty gifts on purpose but then gives her her ACTUAL gift. they’re siblings after all, he can’t help it, old habits die hard

hates decorating the outside of the house. it’s his nightmare. all the stupid lights, just no

goes CRAZY on your gift. it’s like a little reward for all the effort you go through every year, and it’s always something you wanted badly and doesn’t fail to put a smile on your face

he’s not necessarily a fan of sweet things, but hot chocolate? that’s a completely different story entirely, you end up having to send him to buy milk since he drank the whole damn carton and there’s none left by the time you get around to actually preparing for dinner

like leon, sits there with a trash bag. he gives such dad vibes i can’t stop imagining it

him and leon ultimate christmas duo after a few drinks. all of a sudden chris is in the biggest christmas spirit ever and can’t get last christmas out his head

best thing is? he’s not even too big on christmas. he actually celebrates it just because of you, what a sweetheart

[on-a-lucky-tide]

Hi Lovely, just dropping by to say that you can totally decline weigh ins if not extremely necessary. You're a fantastic writer, you've got excellent music taste and clearly are funny at hell. Plus you can probably lift every twat nurse who tuts and scoffs at you, they shouldn't every judge you.

If you're up for it, I'd die for some NikPrice in a proper sex shop (Not a gag/gimmick one) or maybe a lil NikPrice who want to bring in a certain delightfully sassy sergeant to their dynamic.

Head up, we are all here to support you!

😊

Thank you for this, Selkie. It was a massive boost going in. So, Nikprice in a sex shop, eh? Well, obviously I had to visit Prowler to, uh, check it still looks the same as the last time I visited. Here we go...

Nik and John visit ProwlerRED in Soho as Nik helps John take those first tentative steps in exploring his sexuality.

cw: fetishwear, inexperienced and nervous sub, teasing Nikolai.

Price stood opposite the shop and stared at the giant white paw on the black banner between the ground and first floor, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his coat, his beanie pulled low around his ears to disguise the hot flush colouring them a deep red.

They stood at the crossroads. Passersby dipped into the gutter to get around them on their way down Old Compton Street and Price stepped back a little further as a cyclist hopped the pavement, swerving a stationary taxi that was blocked from turning into Dean Street. Price's eyes would make it to the window eventually, but first he needed to get over the road.

"We should go in," Nik said, exhaling the last breath of cigarette smoke as he ground it out under his boot. This had been his idea. He had spotted Price eyeing up some of the leathermen at the bar the previous evening, and teased his interest out of him under the duvet of their exorbitantly expensive hotel bed. It was hard to keep secrets from Nik when his hands and mouth were on ya... Some kinda witchcraft.

Price knew what leathermen were. It was impossible not to when your old man had been both a sergeant in the armed forces and a keen biker. It was a joining of the two things together; the latent homoeroticism of a career and a hobby that had been, at the time, completely male dominated. His old man had been predictably foul in his judgements of his fellow soldiers, but Price had been fascinated. He'd avoided looking too deeply at why he found them so--

Price was... he was interested, alright? Something about the way that the leather looked on a man's body; the harnesses, the jackets, the jock straps. He didn't much care for the caps or the police shirts. If he wanted to wear a cap, he'd give in to Mac's relentless naggin' and get promoted, you know, wear a cap that came with a bloody salary increase, and Peelers weren't exactly high in his esteem.

It was the smell and the texture of the leather against sweat, the slide of it across hard and soft curves as leashes and harnesses shifted, the sound of belts snapping together, watching the dominant partner haul their willing subordinate around and the responding trust. The relief and pleasure on faces that weren't covered by masks, moans muffled by gags. That looked good. Real good.

Imagining Nik's hand wound through a--

Price swallowed.

"John?"

"Hold up, I'm gettin' there. Don't rush me." Price bristled, shoulders rising up around his ears. He didn't even need to look at Nik to know what his face was doin'; Price could feel his grin like atmospheric pressure and it rankled him. "This ain't funny, Nik."

"It is funny," Nik said, arms folded across his big chest, open palm tapping his own elbow. "This is not live fire fight or hostage situation. You need to relax."

"I'm perfectly relaxed," Price said, immediately dropping his shoulders and sniffing when Nik raised his eyebrow. He bounced on his toes and coughed, aiming for nonchalant, but knew his eyes were wider than a rabbit's gazing into oncoming headlights. "See, fine."

"It is just a shop."

"I can see that."

"The owner is half your size."

"Oh yeah? You well acquainted?"

"Fairly."

"Course y'are." Price's cheeks reddened and he scrubbed a hand through his beard. "Alright. Ground rules. Nothin' that's sharp or... Let's just stick to the harness."

Nik hummed and started crossing the road. Price tried to grab his arm to get at least some verbal agreement, but Nik had already skipped up the opposite curb and was looking through the window. Price waited for a black cab to pass and then jogged over to stand at his side. He could see himself in the reflection of the window, hunkered low. "Is that a leather pig mask?"

"Da," Nik said, examining a full body harness with a metal cock ring at the groin. Price hazarded a glance at what had Nik so interested and his heart skipped a beat, his fingers curling into fists inside his pockets . Nik tapped his elbow. "Come." Price let Nik take his elbow and drag him through the door on the corner of the building, his breath held for... fuck knows what reason.

The first thing that hit him was the smell. The same smell as the bar the evening before, except without the added layer of sweat that had made his mouth water. It was sharp, clean. Behind the mannequins in the window were two railings of leather harnesses, and along the walls were racks of leather shirts and trousers. Fairly... innocuous, really. It could have been a biker's shop if it had helmets instead of masks, and less lube on the shelves.

"Hey," called a faintly accented voice from behind the counter, Price would guess Polish but Nik would get a better read. "Let me know if you need anything." She had enough metal in her mouth that kissing her would risk a stab wound, and Price found himself counting the studs when Nik cleared his throat.

"Da, thank you, we may need help with sizing."

She shrugged. "The best thing to do is try 'em on. There's a changing room round the corner," she jutted her thumb over her shoulder, "and two downstairs with the toys and bondage. Just no underwear, yeah?" With that, she turned back to untangling the pile of leather paraphernalia and hangers on the counter.

Nik seemed distracted by something on the far wall, so Price took the opportunity to examine the shelves behind the shop assistant. Aromas. A fair number of them, in fact. Price had seen a few of the lads holding them at the bar, but googling "aroma" and "disk cleaner" had yielded completely innocuous Amazon searches.

"You will not need those, solnyshko," Nik called, so Price continued to tentatively explore, hands still stuffed deep in his pockets.

His gaze wandered to a pile of flyers at the edge of the counter. "Boot blacking," Price murmured. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Da," Nik said softly, appearing at his shoulder with two harnesses in his hand. "It is a kink, but also good for repairing tired equipment."

"Fuckin 'ell, gettin' the troopers to buff their boots proper is like pullin' teeth, and these lot do it for jollies? Is he... Is he lickin' it?"

Nik chuckled and took the flyer out of Price's hand, stroking a finger over the bristles on Price's chin before twining their fingers together. "Perhaps if you put on a jock strap and licked their boots they might be more, hmm, proactive, no?"

"I'll run it by brass," Price said with a wry smirk, letting Nik pull him down the narrow staircase to the basement level.

His eyes blew wide once they'd adjusted to the dim lighting. Now that was what he had actually expected when Nik had said "fetish shop". The walls were crammed with an assortment of delightful looking torture devices from whips to gags to masks that covered everything but the mouth. There was a rack of staggeringly big silicone cocks, and Price felt the heat creeping back up his neck again at how bloody real some of them looked. And big. So fuckin' big.

He was so out of his bloody depth here.

The display case to the right of the stairs as they reached the bottom was filled with the weirdest collection of dildos he had ever seen in his life. He stooped down, hands on his knees, and peered inside. "Fuck me, that one's thicker than my thigh. Nik, there's no... Nik, come here. There's no way that fits. What the fuck is that meant to be?" He pressed his fingertip to the glass at what looked like a tentacle with little nodules all over it.

"John, here." Nik beckoned him over and Price sidled over to stand at his side, casting one final alarmed look into the display case. On the wall, there was an array of cuffs and collars, all with slightly different fastenings, studs and coloured linings. Nik took one of Price's hands and placed it on the nearest pair of cuffs, pressing against Price's back, his chin on his shoulder, palm on his belly to keep him close. "Choose."

"I thought we said just the harness..." Price murmured, but he could barely hear the words leave his own mouth, too fixated on the feel and smell of expensive leather. His toes curled in his boots as he pressed his fingers inside the circle of a cuff, slipping out the other side to nudge one of the metal links and stroke around the smooth edge of the buckle.

These weren't the laughably flimsy handcuffs Price had used previously in his, admittedly, limited sex life. The kind where the plastic broke through the cheap fur and cut your skin if you pulled too hard. Tokenisitic in their restraint. These were sturdy, unyielding; they would be completely unbreakable, even by a body like his. The thought of Nik securing Price's wrists to the headboard, working his hands down his body, made Price's damn prick twitch.

Nik nuzzled the side of his neck, bringing him back to the present, and he picked up a solid black pair like the ones he had seen on a man last night. They had a single silver loop each and a thick buckle. The leather was stiff, clean and unblemished, and Price flexed then a little in his palms. "Uh, these." His reward was a soft kiss just beneath his ear, and Nik reached a little higher to pluck the matching collar from the top row of hooks.

"Try them on, with your shirt off" Nik said. "I will wait here. Take your time." He placed the harness in Price's hands and nudged him towards the narrow changing cubicle. Price hesitated, glancing back up at the stairs and then into the shop proper. Nik placed a palm at the small of his back and pressed his nose to the side of Price's face. "It is fine. I will not allow anyone to see."

"Right, yeah..." Price ducked beneath a silk sash hanging from the railing as Nik nudged him forward. He figured if people were down here looking for a birch to take stripes out of them, seeing some battered old soldier in a leather harness wouldn't faze them too much. And that's what he told himself as he yanked the curtain across and shucked his shirt over his head.

The harness seemed to have more buckles than entirely necessary at first inspection, and he turned it over and over in his hands, checking the model on the label to work out how it should sit. It was sturdy, with silver studs and thick metal, and he felt that same throb of arousal as he handled it.

"John, is ok?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine, jus'... workin' it out."

In the end, Price pulled open one of the side buckles and ducked into it. The leather was chill on his skin and his nipples pulled tight as he sat the straps just above them. Once he'd fastened the buckle back in place, he glanced into the mirror through his eyebrows, hesitant.

The yellowing bruise on his ribs from the last op was beginning to fade, the scrapes all but healed into thin pink lines, and he had the usual litany of scars he was used to seeing by now.

He looked... good.

It sat well around his shoulders, framing the furred curves of his chest by sitting just above the line of his nipples, the silver d-ring between his tits. The straps beneath his arms sat just above his obliques, following the line of muscle comfortably.

Fuck, it made him look... Made him look broad, strong, with his jeans belted at his narrow hips, his operation-ready athletic physique well-complemented, and he stood up a little straighter, jutting his chin. He'd expected to feel like a dog, maybe a bit demeaned, but when he flexed into the leather, heard the stiff straps creak a bit, he felt fuckin' powerful.

Next were the cuffs. He wrapped them around each wrist, turning them around until the silver rings sat on the top and the buckles beneath. The lining was slightly padded, lending to a snug fit.

"How does it feel?" Nik asked, close to the curtain.

"Yeah, s'nice. Like, uh, it fits well."

Price grabbed the collar and then pushed the curtain aside a bit, his eyes fixed on the floor as he felt the heat creeping up his neck again. He heard Nik's breath catch and then a soft curse whispered in awestruck Russian.

"Not bad, right?" Price asked, trying for cocksure but coming out shy.

Nik said nothing. He took the collar from Price's hand and wrapped it carefully around his neck, using his forefinger to stop the leather biting as he threaded the strap through. The moment it pulled tight enough for Price to feel it, he let out a soft gasp, his hands lifting to latch onto Nik's wrist, a sudden panic beating a little harder in his chest.

"Easy, solnyshko," Nik said gently, leaning in to kiss him. Price's grip relaxed, and he drew in a shaky breath. Nik took his hands. "Here, let me show you how it would feel with your wrists secure. If you feel unsafe, you must tell me, da?"

"Is... Is anyone down here?"

"Nyet. We are alone."

"Ye-yeah, right... Yeah." Price swallowed as Nik moved his arms behind his back, lifting each wrist until he could attach the cuffs to the d-ring at the back of the harness. When Nik was done, he stepped back, his broad shoulders blocking out the rest of the shop as he appraised the man before him.

"Krasivyy..." Nik said, reaching to lift Price's chin from where it was tilted down. John kept his head up as Nik's hands roamed his body, following the line of the leather straps over his clavicles to his upper chest, leaving goosebumps of pleasure in his wake.

Price watched Nik's eyes darken with desire and felt like the hottest piece of arse this side of the Thames, flexing cheekily into the straps, Nik's lips twitching. The control in this wasn't so clear cut, was it? Price had assumed he'd be the one under the boot, but watching Nik's reaction made it clear he had more power here than he'd assumed. Nik was enraptured, his arousal clear in the heated caress of his palms and fingers.

Price wanted to lean into his hands, arch like a damn cat. His stomach pulled tight as Nik stroked just above his nipples, following the line of the harness beneath his arms and making him flex and shiver. It was too much, too sensitive, and he let out a soft, strangled noise, squirming as heat gathered in his hips. He couldn't stop Nik from touching him, couldn't push his hands away, and that made his blood run south, hot and urgent. "Mm, Nik... Please... I..."

"You are... breath taking like this," Nik said, lifting a hand to hook the collar and draw Price to him. The experience of being drawn to Nik's chest like that, having to trust those strong arms would catch him, made him groan softly. He buried his face into Nik's neck, arching only when Nik's hands swept down his back, gently stroking the burn scars at the base before dropping lower to squeeze his arse. "If I could, I would have you here."

"Fuck," Price breathed, grinding forward to feel the hard line of Nik's cock. "Guess we're buyin' this then..."

"Da, and one or two other things."

"Nik."

"Nothing sharp. Nothing to hurt you, John. I promise."

"You could never hurt me." Price had never been so certain of anything in his life.

Nik took the back of the harness and pulled Price away from him, lifting his chin so their eyes met. "This is important. So listen," Nik said. "Sometimes hurt is not physical pain in this. It can be feeling unsafe, it can be feeling too overwhelmed. I may push too far, and you must be honest with me."

Nik looked so serious and Price could only nod, the corners of his eyes crinkling with affection. Fuck, Nik cared about him so fuckin' much and it made Price's heart feel all kinds of warm. "So, what... We, uh, we need safe words and the like?" He flashed a lopsided grin and Nik kissed him on the forehead with a low chuckle.

"Da. We will discuss. Now, get dressed. I wish to get you back to the hotel."

"Yes, sir."

"John..."

"Sorry, couldn't help it."

"If you wish to call me sir in our bedroom, then I would not be opposed."

"Bet you fuckin' wouldn't..."

"I see you are going to be, what to say... a brat." Nik swatted Price's arse before he undid the cuffs from the back of the harness and drew the curtain across.

Price almost felt sad about taking the harness off, savouring the phantom sensation of it on his skin even when he pulled his t-shirt and coat back on. He lingered in the cubicle, squeezing his prick through his jeans with a grimace, and only re-emerged once it had calmed enough to be bloody discreet.

Nik was waiting at the bottom of the stairs. He was holding a coil of rope, a leash and what looked to be an anal toy of some kind. "It is remote control," Nik said with a roguish little smirk when he saw Price looking, before jogging up the stairs.

"Bloody 'ell," Price breathed, following behind him.

Nik flashed the plastic and purchased the lot, despite Price fumbling through his coat for his wallet. "This is treat for me," Nik said when Price glared at him, plucking the opaque black bags from the counter.

"'M worried what I've unleashed here," Price replied once Nik had thanked the assistant and they were heading for the door.

"Ah, I believe it is I that have leashed you, no?"

"Ha-fucking-ha, corny bastard."

Nik grabbed John's hand and looked far too proud of himself, his smile so bright and handsome that Price's heart felt light. He didn't let go of Price's hand as they strolled back towards the station, and Price felt his heart swell as he glanced down at their intertwined fingers, his lower lip between his teeth.

Today was a day of firsts: his first visit to a bloody sex shop, and the first time in his life he had ever held a lover's hand, head up, chest out, as he walked down the street. When in London, eh?