#we weren’t good at that game either but it was still one of our absolute favorites

[dragonanon]

Since Nintendo is releasing a remaster of Donkey Kong Country Returns for the the Switch, I SINCERELY hope that they make a remaster of another beloved Donkey Kong game from my childhood 😭❤️

[ravcnism]

STRIKEOUT. ( PART 2 ) — KEN SATO x Male!Athlete READER

Summary: An after-party. A conversation-turned-confrontation. Kenji finally meets the esteemed Toyo Bullet and struggles to define the difference between anger, terror, and infatuation.

# # TAGS: Even More Tension, Kenji Has a Good Relationship with His Team, Intense First Encounter, Domestic Sato Family Shenanigans

# # WARNINGS: Mature Language, Alcohol Consumption, Nothing Too Crazy, No Beta Again We Die Like Onda

Note: Okay, here we go: the actual second part. Again, I am so sorry for accidentally publishing my draft earlier — I am ill with embarrassment. But I’m very happy to know that people look forward to it! If you read the false-post, then you’ve only read half of the chapter. This one has over 3000 words more! Enjoy.

“It was a nail-biter of a game here at the New Tokyo stadium tonight, folks. Right off the bat, both teams were going neck and neck, toe-to-toe. And it seemed like neither one was willing to give an inch! Our home team managed to pull off a narrow victory in the end, and by narrow, I mean narrow, Kiba.”

“That is absolutely right, Sasaki. I truly have never seen anything like it in my entire career. And you know- you know I know a lot of baseball. You know I’ve been doing this for many years, but wow! Just- insane.”

“Truly a close call. Eight additional innings? To break the tie? I cannot believe it. Let me tell you, neither the Hiroshima Toyo Carp nor the Yomiuri Giants wanted to lose today.”

“If you look at the crowd, It looks like everyone’s been wanting to go home.”

Exhausted was an understatement. Kenji hadn’t felt this drained after a game since, well, only months ago: when he was still juggling the responsibilities of raising a baby Kaiju, carrying the weight of being Ultraman, and maintaining his reputation as a well-known baseball player. All of these, on top of the sleepless nights, no longer hindered him from his work. He usually left the stadium feeling brand new every single time — regardless of whether they won or lost. He had grown and learned to lean on people, to ask for help, accept defeat. Which was good and all that, but the point was: he was exhausted from this game. You had him panting for air like an overworked dog.

Shimura had Kenji on the field for longer than he should have been. While his younger, more egotistical self might have loved his moment in the spotlight, running base to base for six innings in a row was unsurprisingly really tiring. The teams had hit a clean tie by the ninth inning, and the tie-breaker lasted for eight more. You were eating their rookies alive and having their journeymen for dessert. When Shimura realized that Sato was the only one batting your pitches, he had him play for every round after the tie. The only times Kenji wasn’t on the field was when you weren’t either. Which wasn’t a lot. It scared him how you looked like you could throw that ball for days.

“Hiroshima’s L/n is just- an absolute unit, isn’t he?”

“He certainly is, Kiba. He certainly is. I mean his performance was near inhuman tonight. Each pitch was a gem and we- he really wanted us to know that he’s here, he’s ready, and he’s willing to change Japanese baseball. He was a major force out there on the field.”

“I cannot agree with you more. But credit where credit is due, we all know that the only reason the Giants are coming home with tonight’s win is because of none other than Ken Sato himself.”

“That’s right, Sato really put up a fight. L/n was throwing him off balance every time, but he always found his footing. I think tonight might have been the hardest I’ve seen him work. You know he- he usually makes his plays look effortless — disregarding last season’s slump.”

“I say he held his own very, very impressively. The team was right to rely on him. I know we’ve spoken a lot about their tension, but I’d say it’s their dynamic that really drove the point home. They were like- mirrors of each other out there. When you put two equal forces together, they deflect. You know what I’m saying?”

Kenji’s hand shook with a weakness he wasn’t familiar with. He stared at his calloused palm and noticed his fingers twitching. Shit. It really was some game. He might have been hitting the ball, but he was barely getting it through the field. Not only were your pitches fast, but there was weight to them, too. He was witnessing the caliber of your capabilities; understanding why you were the talk of every city.

The rest of the Giants came walking into the locker room, jeering and laughing amongst themselves. “That L/n is a real piece of work, ain't he?” Shirakumo, number 24, sat himself next to Kenji, unlacing his shoe. “Never seen anything like it.”

“Did you see the look on Tateoka’s face?” Yuki laughed, smacking his thigh. “Dude was scared shitless!”

“Hey!” Tateoka frowned in reply, tugging his jersey off his arms. “You try standing in front of that guy and telling me you don't feel a little threatened.” He shuddered, remembering the look in your eyes. Dark and pointed and menacing. “He was staring me down like he was gonna—”

“Eat you alive?” Kenji scoffed.

The team went silent, then erupted into a cluster of teasing ‘oooh’s. God. It reminded him of highschool.

“Oohh, yeah.” Yamada, number 21, slid over to him with a teasing tone. He wrapped an arm around Kenji’s shoulder and squeezed him closer. “I don't think I've ever seen Sato so shaken!”

He laughed, playfully pushing him away. He was also actually really sore on that shoulder. Hell, he could already feel the pain he’d need to go through just to get up tomorrow. He was going to need another ice bath. The rest of the boys jumped in on the jokes.

“Did you see the way he was looking at you Ken?” Tokuda opened his locker, grabbing a shirt from the top shelf. He whistled. “Like he wanted your head on a plate.”

Tanaka chuckled. “He wanted you dead, man!”

Kenji rolled his eyes. “Alright, alright. Let's not get carried away. I never said I was shaken.”

“But that last bat was sweet as hell.” Yuki nodded. “I doubt any of us would've gotten through the guy if it weren't for Sato.”

“Well, duh.” Shirakumo shrugged. None of the Giants denied it. Ken was their star player. And tonight proved it more than ever. “We owe you for drinks, bud. Give us a date and we'll treat ya’ to someplace you like.” He slapped Ken’s back affectionately, which elicited a pained groan. “Shit, sorry.”

Kenji’s watch started beeping. He flinched at the sound, eyes widening slightly. “Uh, see you in a sec, guys. I gotta take this.”

He was there a moment, then gone the next. Kenji rushed himself out the hallways and into an empty locker room to answer Mina’s call. “Hey!” he greeted, anxiously. A screen projected itself from his watch and lit up his face. “Hey. Hi. What's wrong? Everyone alright? I know I said I'd be home soon, but the game took way longer than–”

He was interrupted by cheering. His father clapped and whooped with excitement as Emi occupied the background, screeching with glee. Kenji could see the ground shaking as she was jumping around and doing her special dance. One of Mina’s arms was protruding from the wall and waving celebratory flags. It immediately put a smile on his face, easing the tension from his shoulders. He was always happy to see everyone alright, and even happier to see them as their silly selves.

“Kenji!” cheered Hayao. “That was an incredible game! You were unstoppable!” The professor chuckled. Emi picked him up into a hug, slightly toppling the camera over. His legs swung like a ragdoll’s. “Okay, okay girl-”

Ken laughed, slightly shaking his head. “Easy, Emi. Put Grandpa down.”

“It was a very impressive game, Ken. Perhaps one of your bests.” Mina’s calculative yet affectionate voice echoed from his watch.

Hayao fell to the floor with an ‘oof’. “You didn't tell me you were playing against THEE Mets’ Bullet!” He scrambled to stand up, barely leaning on his cane. “I wasn’t even aware that he was signed into the Carp!”

Kenji’s smile immediately faded. “Okay.” He rolled his eyes. “He was alright, I guess. And we don’t actually know if he signed into it or if he was traded. We barely heard anything about him from the press.”

“Alright?” Professor Sato gasped, appalled. “Kenji, he was spectacular! He’s a lot like you, you know. I’ve always suspected that the both of you equalled in skill, but to see it in action? Phew.” He wiped some pretend sweat off of his forehead. “What a show! Eight extra innings to break a tie? Unbelievable! I highly doubt that he was traded. Who in their right mind would purposely lose a player like that?”

Kenji scoffed. “He wasn’t that good.” His sore limbs would like to say otherwise.

“He had you chasing after his pitches like a dog!”

“I don’t like that analogy.”

“I ought’ to rewatch that documentary they made about him. You know they’ve done studies on the physics of his throws.”

“Dad.”

“And how fortunate for Hiroshima to have gotten him out of all teams! I can tell that this season is going to turn around really fast. Just today he’s already scored-”

“Dad!”

“Oh. Sorry.” Hayao chuckled. “I’m just very excited to see the both of you on the same field.” Kenji sighed, nodding his head. “Anyway, congratulations on the win, my boy. I’m so proud of you. I always am. Get home safe. It may be late, but we still have a lot of leftovers from dinner!” Emi made a noise that let him know she was waiting, too.

Going home sounded like heaven. Ken wanted nothing more but to rest. Maybe kick back and have a chocolate shake while he and his family watched cartoons to fall asleep. It was the perfect way to end his night. It had been an unexpectedly long day and he looked forward to tomorrow’s well-earned break. Eight extra innings might even win him a second day of rest. Or a third, if Shimura agreed not to schedule him for the next game. Which, he doubted, if it meant you’d be playing.

“I’m on my way.” He ended the call, and opted to take the fastest way out, desperate to avoid the press.

Ken collapsed onto the floor, snuggling into Emi’s arm. Having washed up and eaten his dinner, he felt the last remains of his adrenaline-fueled strength die out like a dwindling flame. He felt as if his limbs were about to fall off. “Ugh,” he groaned. “I’m going to be so sore tomorrow.” Emi didn’t much care. She seemed to be preoccupied by the new ( gigantic ) stacking blocks that Mina made for her. Ken sighed, sinking deeper into her arm. “She always smells so good after her baths.” The baby Kaiju’s warm and heavy grasp felt like a weighted blanket. It was a comfort that Ken would find nowhere else.

Professor Sato walked past them, chuckling into his coffee mug. “That, she does. You should have seen her earlier, you know. I’ve never seen her so invested in a game.”

Kenji hummed. “Is that right?” He rolled onto his stomach, facing Emi. “Hey. Baby.” He poked her cheek. “Is that true? Did you cheer for Daddy? I bet you did.” Giving into his cuteness aggression he rubbed at her cheeks. Emi expressed her annoyance through a small squeak. “God, that mean old Bullet had Daddy running laps, didn’t he? We hate him, don’t we?” Kenji pushed her cheeks up and down, leading her into a nod. “Yes we dooo.”

Professor Sato laughed. “Whatever happened to sportsmanship?”

“Whatever happened to loyalty?” He pouted. “My own father, rooting against me. I would never root against you, Emi.” Wanting to return to her blocks, Emi lifted Kenji up by his torso and placed him on her head. The batter laughed, laying on her with no protest.

“What!” The professor exclaimed. “I never said I was rooting against you. I was just— feeling enthusiastic, that’s all. For both teams.”

Mina entered the room, her mechanisms humming faintly. “Good evening, everyone.” The Sato’s greeted her accordingly. “I have a message for Ken.”

The mentioned Ken slumped into his daughter, rolling his eyes. “Here we go. I bet it’s the press.” He scoffed. “Let me guess, at least 30 emails asking for my statement. Or, better yet, it’s Shimura warning me not to miss the next game.” He raised his fist, mocking a reporter’s tone: “We’ve witnessed baseball history tonight, folks! Blah, blah, blah.”

“Actually, it’s an invitation for something else.” Mina hovered closer. “An event.”

This caught his attention. Kenji tilted his head. “For what?”

“A party, hosted by various sponsors.”

“Bit too early for an afterparty, don’t you think?” Ken sighed, resting his head on folded arms. “We’ve only won one game.”

“I suppose it’s to celebrate Mr. L/n as well.” Mina would shrug if she had the shoulders to do so. “His coming to Japan is quite a big deal.”

“Great.” Kenji was half-asleep by then, eyes already closed. “All the more reason for me not to go.” The professor had settled himself onto one of the desks, getting into some light reading. Emi had grown tired herself, and decided that she was not interested in the blocks anymore. Waddling to her spot, (with Kenji still on her head), she yawned, and opted for some much-needed sleep.

Mina’s light blinked. “I think you should go, Ken.”

The rightfielder cracked one eye open. “And why would I do that?”

“I think it would benefit you to interact with Mr. L/n more.”

“Mina, that’s literally the last thing I want.”

“Is it?”

Ken frowned. “What do you mean, ‘is it’? Of course it is.”

“Your vitals seemed to say otherwise earlier.”

Kenji scoffed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I was keeping careful watch of your vitals, as I always do. I have your daily status tracked and recorded.”

Kenji couldn't get rid of Mina’s voice in his head. Even amidst the warm crowd, with chatter swaying smoothly atop of light r&b music, he felt as if he could still hear her words ringing in the back of his mind. It remained vivid, though she had told it to him days ago. It was as clear as day. Like a broken record.

“Believe it or not, the heart beats differently for every emotion. There is a difference between fear, anxiety, excitement, and—”

Kenji stared at you from across the room, watching as you conversed with your team, nursing a glass of cold, hard whiskey. He watched as you bowed your head and smiled, listening for the faint, muffled sound of your laughter. He wondered what you were talking about; what joke might have made you grin that hard. He wondered why you seemed to illuminate a room, and why everyone seemed so drawn. His eyes were caught in the way the colorful lights sank into your hair.

“—Infatuation.”

You looked up, and your eyes met his. Kenji flinched. He felt his heart skip a beat. Shit, he thought. Mina was definitely going to catch that. She had probably already marked it down to tease him for it later. You held his gaze for longer than he could have standed and greeted him with that same annoying wink. The same one you gave him on the field. Confident, snarky, playful. You lifted your glass and took a sip, eyes still trained on his.

“What you may perceive as frustration for him might just be the opposite.”

Kenji's jaw clenched. Mina had no idea what she was talking about.

And he would prove her wrong tonight.

Like a soldier marching into battle, he waded through the party to make his way towards you. Was he intimidated? Yes. Unfortunately, he was. But he knew his way around a crowd, and his weapon-of-a-tongue knew all the right talk to make a conversation work. He was sociable like that. He was a poet, a wordsmith. If you weren't careful, one little exchange could have you wrapped around his finger. Some people called it his charisma, some blamed it on his irresistible good looks. Either way, Ken took it. He wasn't going to deny the fact that people loved talking to him — though he, admittedly, didn't really like talking to them in return. But he could do it. He could make it work.

Besides, how bad could you be?

With a newfound confidence, Ken dared to get closer. The distance between you and him lessened, and– oh, fuck, was that your cologne? He blinked. You smelled so good. Why did you smell so good? “Hey. Hi.” Shit. Abort mission. No, it's too late. Too awkward to back out. You were already looking at him. “L/n, yeah?” He spoke your name like he only just remembered you upon seeing you. When in truth, he hadn't stopped thinking about you since that damn first pitch. “Some game, huh?” Ken held his hand out for you to shake. ‘Fuck, I hope he doesn't notice how clammy it is.’

“Ken Sato.” It was the first time he heard your voice, as well as the first time he heard you say his name. He didn't like how his body reacted. There was a small shiver down his spine, a tingling flutter in his chest. You took his hand. Yours was cold. So cold. Kenji concluded that the icy glass of whiskey you had placed on the counter was to blame. He could feel your callouses against his. Your hands mirrored one another, marked with the battlescars of your sport. He was oddly sensitive to every detail. Touching you was.. a sensation.

You gave him a firm shake before promptly letting go.

“That's me,” he said, miraculously. Ken was oscillating between panic and confidence at a speed that likely wasn't normal. He was holding his own, though. Like the real champ he was. It was surreal to be standing in front of you without a ball to keep you apart. No bat, no competition. Just you, and a few shots of alcohol. “You adjusting into Japan alright?”

“As well as I can.” You shrugged. You had a tone to you; an elegant air of grace and self-assurance. You had no need to raise your voice because you knew he'd do his best to listen. It was pissing him off. “It's definitely different from the States.”

“I gotta say, I'm pretty surprised to see you here.” Ken usually knew what to say when it came to conversations. He never blanked out at interviews, nor left dead air hanging at conferences. But speaking with you made him feel like his vocabulary was on a limit. “After a game like that?” He whistled. “A lesser man would've taken a week off.”

“But we're not lesser men, are we, Ken?” A waitress passed by. Without the need to look, you had grabbed two shots of vodka from her tray. You handed the other one to him. “That's why you're here, too.”

He stared at you, brows furrowed slightly. “Exactly.” He took the shot from your hand and bumped the rim against yours. “Cheers.”

You grinned. “Cheers.”

Kenji tilted his head back, downing his drink, tasting the fire run down his throat. His face screwed up a little, but not enough for you to notice. You did the same, sighing the heat out of your nose. You allowed a small laugh to slip past your lips. “Japan’s liquor is surprisingly stronger.”

Kenji chuckled. “Yeah. If you know where to look.” The music felt like it was growing louder. He leaned in to speak to you better. “You know, I can't believe this is the first time we're meeting.”

You nodded. “Neither can I.”

“The Mets and Dodgers have always been at each other's throats, and yet—”

“Our schedules just never lined up.” You scoffed. “What are the odds of that, huh?”

It really was such a coincidence. If Ken had known that your interactions would've fired the press up as much as it did now, he would've fought to face you sooner. “When was it?” He snapped his fingers, trying to remember. “Playoffs. 2019, I think. The Mets were set to face the Dodgers.”

“2019,” you repeated, brows raised. “I was there.” Kenji took notice of the way your head slightly shifted to the side. Like you were trying to get a better look at him. He swallowed thickly. “I was there.” You shrugged. “You weren't.”

“I was overseas.” He was wanting another drink. But, speaking to you was surprisingly not horrible. “Didn't get back until 3 months in. And when I did—”

“I wasn't there,” you chuckled. “Alright. I remember. 2019, I was gone for half the season. Injury.”

“The world was in shambles.” Ken grinned at you. A second waiter passed by. He grabbed you another glass of whiskey. He took scotch for himself. “See what I mean? It's like– divine intervention.”

“Big word.” To say that fate had a hand to play in yours and his meeting was beyond your beliefs. You didn't place your trust in things like that. But to know that he had thought about it was charming.

“Hey.” Ken shrugged. “Ya’ never know.”

The music shifted, and so did the lights. There was a moment of quiet between the both of you, and in that time, you found a common interest in people-watching. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence, nor the absence of something to talk about. The two of you merely agreed upon the minutes it took to watch the party unfold. A good number of the guests were already drunk. The dance floor was alight and occupied mostly by women. Ken rested his weight on one foot, sighing at his still-aching muscles. He wondered if you were any sore too.

“They love it, don't they?” You leaned your back against the counter, arms crossed over your chest. Ken took quick notice of the necklace worn loosely around your neck. A silver dogtag, similar to his. “The drama. The intensity. Even the things that go on beyond the field.”

Ken shrugged. “It's baseball. Who doesn't?”

“Exactly.” You smiled. “Which is why it's important to always let the home team win the first game.”

It took a moment for Kenji to process what you said. He was distracted by the colorful lights, his favorite song coming on, and a tray full of hors d'oeuvres. “Mhm.” He reached over to take one, before— “Wait.” His brows knitted together. “I'm sorry, what?”

“Hm?” You had your lips pressed together into a thin line. Your expression feigned innocence, a stark contrast to your bold statement. “I said it's important to let the home team win the first game.”

Kenji made a sound between a scoff and a laugh. He couldn't believe his ears. Had he been standing by the speakers for too long? “No, I heard what you said. What I'm asking is what you're saying.” It was a dare of a reply, with a tone that commanded: go on. Clarify.

Your smile refused to leave your face. Nearing the batter, ever so carefully, you whispered:

“I'm saying you won because I let you.”

Kenji blinked.

And there it was. He knew you were too good to be true. Goddammit, he knew it! Beneath your seemingly-perfect self was something cold and rotten and he called it. He fucking called it. How thrilled he was to be correct, and oh, how utterly terrified.

But this was good. This was absolutely good. He needed something to hold onto, something to keep himself afloat. The next time he found himself drowning in your eyes again, he'd only need to remember that you were a grade A asshole. That you had the audacity to claim that you were in full control of the game. Surely it would solve all his problems.

Kenji broke out into a laugh. It started out as a small cluster of sarcastic chuckles, but erupted into actual laughter. You were funny. So, so funny. Unbeknownst him, you were watching with amusement. “Because you let me!” Kenji repeated, smiling, but, exasperated. Two can play at that game. “Right. Of course. Totally not because you're an average pitcher and I can bat anything you throw.”

“If that helps you sleep at night.” You shrugged. Your attention wasn't on him anymore. You were watching the crowd, disinterested.

Kenji felt his eye twitch. “That's big talk coming from someone who got struck out by a rookie.” He was referring to the eighth inning, when Tateoka managed to bat your pitch into a homerun.

“That's right, Sato.” You laughed, low and sultry. “Batted by a rookie. How could I have struck you out at the last inning but be batted by a rookie?” You tilted your head at him, brows knitted together. You spoke in a sickeningly soft tone. Like you were helping a toddler understand something simple. “Doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?”

Kenji was growing flustered. His face was warm and his fist was itching to meet your cheek. Nobody spoke to him this way. Sure guys had been mean to him before, but it was mostly because they were threatened by him. They'd tried to put him down and pick apart his flaws, but what you were doing was something different. You weren't claiming that he was weak, you were claiming that you were stronger. You didn't deny the amount of talent that Ken had in his body, but you were fully convinced that you had more. You were bigger, smarter, and better. And you had him under your control.

“Oh, c’mon. Seriously?” God, your voice. It infuriated him. It drove him insane. You leaned in, closer, whispering your words, as if hearing you through the party wasn't hard enough. He could smell the whiskey on your breath. It mingled with your cologne. It was intoxicating. “Are you blushing?”

He scoffed in disbelief. “No.” Except he totally was. He could feel the heat radiating off of his face. His breathing had gone shallow, his heartbeat rapid. “Why would I– Tch. You— You don't know what you're talking about.” Holy shit. He was a mess.

He wanted so desperately to blame it on the alcohol, but he knew damn well he wasn't drunk enough to be acting the way he was. He was stumbling over his words stone-cold sober.

You were smiling. He was dying, and you were smiling. “You amuse me, Sato.”

Ken took a cautious step back, knowing that being that close to you for too long was only going to make him worse. “Who the hell do you think you are, huh?” He had to retaliate somehow. Like a soldier fumbling for his sword, he had to get up and do something. “You don't think I don't know what this is? Where you're heading?”

You tilted your head. “Do enlighten me.”

He wrinkled his nose. “Sure. Celebrity-Athlete from America waltzes into Japan thinking he's the shit— that he can rule the world. He's a shiny new toy and everyone's just dying to catch a look. Nevermind that his old team traded him off, nevermind that he goes home to an empty penthouse. He's got the stats to prove his skills and he thinks he doesn't need anything else.” Ken dared to retake a step forward. He sort of regretted it when you didn't take a step back. “Well, guess what,” he continued. “I've been where you are. I know how you feel, what you're thinking.

Everything you're trying to be is a shadow of what I already was.”

There was a beat of silence. You weren't smiling anymore. You were staring at him, stone-faced, seemingly indifferent.

Kenji narrowed his eyes. “So don't go talking to me like you're any better.”

He didn't know what to expect. You were quiet for such a long time that he thought you were going to snap. He partially expected a punch to the chin. But you were calm. There wasn't a trace of irritation on your face. Instead, you set your glass of whiskey — now empty — on the counter behind you. With a sigh, you shoved a hand in your pocket. “Are you done?”

Kenji blinked.

“Let me tell you something, Sato.” You raised a brow at him. Ken felt his heartbeat pick up again. Your once-approachable gaze shifted into something cold and commanding. He swallowed thickly. “There is a difference between you and me. And that difference is the fact that I don't settle.”

Kenji was glaring at you, brows fixed together.

A teammate called you from the other side of the room. You nodded at him, once, then returned your focus to the Yomiuri Prince. You placed a hand on his shoulder, tauntingly, smiling at him as if you'd known him your whole life. “I hope last season’s slump accustomed you to the feeling of losing those points.”

Kenji wanted to say something, but his lips refused to move. Somehow, the blaring music in the background had faded into a muffled blur. All he could hear was your voice. Like a moth to a flame.

You winked at him. Again. And like before, his body reacted in ways he didn't like. You squeezed his shoulder once, before leaving to go to your friend. With your back turned against him, Kenji released the breath he didn't realize he was holding. He clutched his chest, watching wide-eyed as you moved through the crowd. He could still smell your cologne. The last thing he heard from you was,

“I'll see you on the field.”

taglist: @fairy-lenaa @moonjellyfishie @witchygod — Thank you for your patience!

[dontbesoweirdkira]

Hey, hi! I really liked your work about the harem! It's very interesting, in my opinion. And can I find out the continuation of this whole story, when the reader chooses some nondescript extra as his love?

“Okay. Let’s refocus our efforts, men. Y/N has a partner which mean we need to figure out how to get rid of them first. *Then*…we can finish killing each other in the tournament.”

A/N: I didn’t really want to continue the story because I was kinda lost on what to do with it but I thought this little Drabble would be funny. Thank you soooo muchhhhhhh💞

Pt.1

Warnings: obsessive and aggressive behavior

Requests: always open

Masterlist

When your partner came to visit you in the outworld, all eyes were on them. The way they had confidently strutted over and kissed you with a chill, “Hey baby. I missed you so much”, sent them into orbit.

I’m sorry you have a what—?

So you mean to tell them that you already had someone and basically all of this infighting was for nothing?!? It was never going to be one of them?

Nahhhh

you’re such a jokester. You did this to rile things up and make them jealous. So playful, you are.

Johnny of course was the first to go up to y'all and start his bullsh*t

“Y/N, this is absolutely hilarious. Was the attention I gave you not enough? You don’t have to try to make me jealous with this…punk. I would’ve gladly given you more if you just asked.”

Umm no Johnny this is actually your lover..

Kano was the next to bite

“Haha doll, that’s a real good one! There’s no way you’d want someone like ‘at. Tell you what, why don’t you come make some jokes over there with me..I’m a real good tickla’.”

Oh.. they are in reeeaaal bad denial

“Hey—let’s give Y/N some space. She’s allowed to have privacy and a personal relationship of her choosing—“

Luckily Fujin is the voice of reason and compassion

“—-even if they are so…unexpectedly unique.”

You had one job 😩

They definitely were still trying to process this whole situation. For the rest of the night all the men were whispering amongst each other and sending weird looks over their way. There was no way that was actually your partner. This was just all some ruse. They’ll be gone by the morning.

Nope. They weren’t and you were as affectionate and clingy as ever. You were just so smitten over them that it couldn’t have been fake. Every question about you, your lover could flawlessly answer and recall stories only someone close to you could.

They even showed pictures of you two together through the years on different occasions and at family gatherings…so either this was the greatest actor/stunt ever or you really was taken.

The guys loathe them so bad..

Not only did they take their beloved darling away from them but how could someone so average claim your heart so easily?

All of them felt like they were far better than them, like come on you have assassins, celebrities, monks, kahns and more at your disposal but you chose…them? What about them could possibly be better than what is right in front of you?

I can imagine the mk harem frequently going up to your partner and sizing them up. Like it’s so funny watching them pop out their chest and flex in order to seem more superior.

Oh and all the things I mentioned previously about the being super creepy and desperate…it’s cranked up to ten now.

They’ll purposely do..questionable things in front of your partner to get them upset and insecure. Especially the younger guys.

They’re all huge show offs during training sessions and can’t help but to be a little too comfortable with you.

Will steal garments (hoodies..ect) from your closet and then return them to your partner to make it seem like you were spending time with him.

We all know that Kano, Erron, Kabal, and Johnny have no filter. They’ll put things into your lover’s head to make them worried. These men love to talk big game and boast about anything they can. Sometimes they’re just flat out crass about their feelings towards you.

Shang tsung flants his wealth and constantly is gifting you money, clothes and other luxury goods…your lover could never afford it.

“I like to make sure that Y/N is well taken care of. All of her old stuff was hindering her beauty. I hope you don’t mind the initiative that I’ve taken…I figured it’d help you out since you possibly couldn’t have access to the aristocracy that I do.”

*has tried tricking your partner into drinking pure acid*

Raiden and Fujin are great at pretending they like your partner and wanna welcome them but are soooo shady.

“I appreciate you inviting me into your temple. It’s so cool that you both can control the weather. Wish I could do that.”

“Yes, it is quite a shame. It’s one of the many things that Y/N loves. We frequently make thunderous skies and wind storms for her whenever she’s feeling a bit down.”

“ Dont worry, though. I’m sure Y/N enjoys the fact that you can make her laugh and whatever other talents you possess.”

PLEASE—

Backhanded insults, threats, hazing and rough housing are frequent.

By the way, you cannot leave your partner alone…like at alll. Like take that poor thing into the bathroom with you because they are constantly watching and waiting for any moment to pounce on them.

This is the first time in months these men are bonding over something since you came along…the mutual disdain for your partner is so powerful.

They really need to do something about this relationship and a plan will be devised soon.

Scorpion, Sub-Zero, Kotal Khan, Erron and Shang Tsung, Kabal and Baraka all want to just flat out want them brutally killed in some kind of public execution so you’ll learn that having a lover outside of any of them is completely unacceptable.

Fujin, Night Wolf, Raiden, Jax and Liu Kang all want to try to…passionately pursue and manipulate..you out of the relationship. They don’t really want your partner to be harmed in any way.

Kung Lao and Johnny Cage think it would be hilarious to haniously humiliate them AND jump them so they’ll be left not only traumatized but filled with hatred for you.

The only reason why they haven’t gone through with any of these plans is because they can’t come to an agreement on which method is better.

I can’t imagine your partner being like “hey…I think they want me dead..”

“Oh that’s non sense, honey. They are a bit strange but I promise you that they are the sweetest to me.”

“They’re literally are into you and hate me for being with your partner. I heard them talking about getting rid of me.”

“Sure a few of them may have a crush on me but I promise you they like you! They’re just guys being guys.”

Yeah they are NOT safe in the slightest. You are owned by the harem, not by this nobody. I really hope they’ll learn how to fight very soon or dump you because your s/o is going to go missing soon. And they’ll make it look like an accident.

[felassan]

Snippets. 🐺💜

Corinne: "I’m screaming alongside the rest of y’all! It’s happening!!!!" [source]

Nathan: "Thrilled to share our latest trailer! Very proud of all these animators." [source]

Trick: "There we go." [source] / "I hear there's something at this [trailer] link now." [source]

Blair: "LIVE NOW! October 31st 💜🐉🐺" [source]

Brianne: "It's almost here... So close..." [source]

Corinne: "I’ve held the dagger in my hands, and well, needless to say I can’t wait until my own personal copy arrives. I’m definitely not going to be unhinged. 🤷‍♀️" [source]

Bryce: "if I may workpost for a sec, I'm forever grateful for days like today when I get to gush about dragon age with the fans. this community is so welcoming and my heart is so full today 💜" [source]

User: "Of the new companions, who do you think would have the best chance of beating you at pinball?" / Corinne: "Bellara, definitely. As an Elven tinkerer with a curious mind and playful spirit, I think she’d be so into it" [source]

Brianne: "So excited to share more of what we've worked on!" [source]

Corinne: "Some of the best moments I have is reading through the team’s experience, highlights, and feedback for the game. You’re right - we do love it! It’s a wonderfully talented group of folks I get the pleasure to work alongside." [source]

User: "MORRIGAN!!!!" / Corinne: "Keeping this secret has been KILLING me 😊" [source]. User: "I can't wait to find out all the other secrets that you've got in store for us." / Corinne: "Oh just you wait 😉" [source]

User: "HER CROWN I SEE THAT CROWN." [re: Morrigan] / Corinne: "👀" [source]

User: "CORINNE! It looks so good!! I can't wait to play it!" / Corinne: "Thank you so so much! The team did such a fantastic job. It’s been a labor of love for so many of us 💜" [source]

Corinne: "Can’t wait to hear about your adventures and the decisions you’ll make.I immediately preordered another copy of Rook’s Coffer even though we on the dev team get one 😅" [source]

Corinne: "I’m in awe of what this team has created 💜" [source]

Corinne: "We’re all so proud of this game and I mean it when I say we’re are just as excited to get it into your hands and hear about your adventures as your are to play it.This team is truly a wonderful group of creative people. 💜" [source]

Corinne: "The team has put so much of themselves into this return to Thedas, and believe me when I say that it means so much to all of us to see and hear about your excitement 💜" [source]

Corinne: "I’ll be honest, it still doesn’t feel real to me either that we are so close now. We all hope you’ll love this return to Thedas 😊" [source]

Corinne: "I hope you’ll share a pic of the Rook you settle on when you emerge from Character Creator. If you’re anything like me you’ll spend a loooot of time lost in the options 😉" [source]

Corinne: "Rogue is so so good. The Veil Ranger specialization is absolutely one of my favorites" [source]

Brianne: "I'm excited to see everyone's Rooks! I really like the ones I've made." [source]

Corinne: "Happy to say this time around we’ll be able to support those flowing locks in-game" [source]

The Codex is "vast" [source]

User: "question, of our 7 companions, which is most likely to be up early and watch the sunrise , which is most likely one to sleep till noon?" / Corinne: "When you see Davrin’s room, you’d certainly assume he’d be up watching the sunrise with that view. If only it weren’t in the fade 😅" [source]

User: "For purely scientific and artistic purposes....is Emmrich taller than a female elf or roughly the same height?" / Corinne: "Well… usually taller, but y’all can control your characters height now so 🤷‍♀️😅" [source]

Malcolm: "To all the people excited about the return of Her.... same, fam, same. And by Her I mean Morrigan. Just... just in case that wasn't clear." [source, two]

Malcolm: "The level art team for DA:Ve are incredible. The environments they've built are gobsmacking. I adore what they did for the Necropolis in particular." [source]

Malcolm: "And Rivain is just... 👀 Seeing this one go from early greybox to full art was such a delight" [source]

Malcolm: [image of bby Manfred] "That's my boy!" [source]

[textblock character limit break!]

User: "*remembering all those dang statues in my origin story in DAO* ah shit that’s a lot of gods" / Brianne: "You'll be fine. You... May want back-up 😁" [source]

Brianne: "While on the topic of Dragon Age: The Veilguard... I just adore him. [image of Assan]" [source]. / John: "the team's official Assan photographer" [source] / Brianne: "When I said I'd capture one, two, several more shots..." [source]

Brianne: "There are some spooky places to explore" [source]

User: "I'm so excited :)))))) I hope I spotted the bun hairstyle of one of my favorite hammer wielding characters in the world <3" [re: image of character who is probably Evka Ivo] / Brianne: "Well, would you look at that :)" [source]

Mary: "[Assan] is the best character in the game. We all know this to be true." [source]

Blair: "everyone went nuts about baby griffon, but Manfred is my boy, my sweet cheese, etc. ride or die, Manfred 💀💜" [source]

John: "am I playing our game for fun on a Friday night, I certainly am. romancing my own companion to do one last check to make sure all the conditionals work. folks it is a very strange thing" [source, two]

Trick thinks the Spellblade spec is delightful :D [source]

User: "Is Solas speaking in the Hallelujah cadence at the beginning of the Release Date Trailer ? I'm trying to match it up but the best I can get is opposite stresses although the meter is 8/8/11" / Trick: "In DAI, only a relative few lines were in that cadence. He hauls it out for special occasions. :)" [source]

Original post: "I know that the AP Stylebook says the proper possessive form of Harris is Harris'. But the AP Stylebook also says not to use the Oxford comma. It's not a serious publication, let alone an authority on punctuation." Trick: "There was an actual voices-raised argument among the BioWare Writers and Editors over S-apostrophe vs S-apostrophe-S, along with threats made to writers who proposed character names ending in S in the future. Question time: Can anyone think of an antagonist in DA:I whose name ended in S? Corypheus's assassins' scimitars's's'' blades are coated with poison." [source, two] User: "I make everybody mad by switching between -s' and -s's depending on if the "s" represents a voiced or unvoiced consonant: Anders', but Fenris's." Trick: "I think that was very close to the consensus we landed on." [source]

Mass Effect

User: "fully accept that the answer may be "that was 8 million years ago I have no idea" but did you unilaterally decide to make Thane hallucinogenic when licked while writing ME2 dialog??" / Trick: "Yes. My intention was always that Mordin was trolling you there, but I don't think everyone took it that way. 🤣" [source]

[illvmii]

Home For The Weekend.

DBF!Miguel x FEM!Reader, NSFW!! READ WITH CAUTION!!

TAGS: DBF!Miguel, Nsfw, a little fluff ig, pining Miguel, I gave you good parents because you deserve it, oral (fem receiving), praise, p in v, unprotected (use protection gang), a little exhibisionism (people are in the house), Miguel is pretty soft in this one, LMK if I forgot anything

A/N: Because I had to swap accounts and all that, I decided to write smut as a sorry (cause I know that’s what most Miguel fans want LMFAO) so here you go!! It’s Dad’s best friend cause GODDD I love DBF Miguel lemme tell ya. Also not proof read (I’m really fucking tired rn I’ll proof read tmr probably)

You’ve been away from home for a good while at this point. Your college really wasn’t all that far away, but you’ve been so freaking busy it’s unbelievable. You called your parents at least three times a week, even at that point you were failing to do so. You were completely overwhelmed and it was awful.

But finally, finally you had a weekend where you were free. You didn’t have anything to do, so you decided to drive home and spend the weekend there. You knew your parents really missed you, so it was the best choice for all of you (plus you’d been killing to taste some of your moms cooking once again).

You had called your father to let him and your mom know you were coming, but were told a very interesting surprise. It was for sure a welcome one, though. Your father’s best bud, Miguel O’Hara, was staying with your parents for a week. Apparently the man’s house got termites which fucking blew chunks for him. But for you… well, aren’t you just lucky?

That man is HOT! We all know it, he’s absolutely stunning. So when you figured you’d be in the same house as him for a whole weekend, your entire stay seemed to get much more interesting.

Of course it was a ‘Look don’t touch’ scenario, you couldn’t even imagine the hell that would let loose if you made a hit on your dad’s best friend. You knew your father and Miguel were super close, they have been since you were a little girl. Miguel and your pops met when you were in third grade, because you were on your schools little soccer team. Miguel was the coach, since his own daughter Gabriella was on it.

You and Gabi actually became pretty good friends, still are to this day. She’s fun to be around and you text her whenever you have the chance. Of course she doesn’t know about the absolutely disgusting thoughts you have about her father on the lonelier nights. You think nobody but you really needs to know those. God forbid if your dad found out.

You haven’t seen Miguel in… what was it? Nearly three years at this point. He didn’t come around the house much after you turned 19 for some reason. Your dad and him always hung out at bars and such. So you haven’t seen him in a long time. The barbecues Miguel always had once a month were strangely on days you had told your dad you weren’t available, either. It’s very strange. You never have had the best of luck with men, so you just assume god is playing a cruel trick on you.

You eventually pulled into your childhood home driveway, the second you entered your mom pulls you to the side and presses kisses all over your face.

“Oh my gosh! It feels I haven’t seen my baby girl in ages! How have you been, honey?!”

Pressing a kiss to her cheek, you smile, “Been good. Busy, as I’ve said on our calls. But finally got some free time!”

Your mother grinned and pulled you into a hug, “I’m so glad your home, sweetheart. The house just isn’t the same without you here.”

“Dad already getting on your nerves, huh?” You snicker, hugging her back tightly.

Your mom chuckles and shakes her head, “He’s still the same ol’ grump. You should have heard him and Miguel when the soccer game was on… my goodness I was worried we were going to get a noise complaint.”

“Are they really that bad? Geez. I know Dad is bad, can’t imagine two of them.”

Your mother chuckles, “Your father is in the living room. Go say hi, hes been waiting for you all day.”

You give her a nod and walk off to the living room to greet your dad. He’s on the couch, so you plop down next to him. “Hey, Dad. How’s it hanging?”

He turns to look at you and bumps your shoulder with his, “There you are, squirt. Where you been for so long, huh? Outgrown us regular people now you’re a big shot at college?”

You smirk at his tease, “Don’t worry. I won’t forget about you. Least not yet.”

He flicks your forehead, chuckling to himself.

“Miguel is out in the pool. You should go say hi.”

Your face immediately heats up. He’s in the god damn pool?! With probably little shorts? Oh god…

You nod and stand from the couch and make your way to the pool. You slide the glass door to the patio open and dear god.

You see Miguel, hes swimming laps in the big pool. As long as you’ve known him, he’s worked out a bunch. No wonder he’s so fucking buff.

Stepping down into the patio area, you send him a wave, “Hey, Mr. O’Hara?”

He pauses his swimming and looks up at you. He flashes a smile, “My god, that you, pequeña?”

Miguel shakes his head to get the excess water out, swimming too the stairs of the pool to get out. You see now that yes, he is in little swim trunks.

He grabs his towel to wipe his extremely chiseled chest down. He smiles at you as he does, “How have you been, chica? I haven’t seen you for a while. Your dad sends me photos of you sometimes, but they really didn’t show off how much you’ve grown.”

You blush as he runs his eyes over you to really take in your growth. “I’ve been okay. College is keeping me busy. How about you? I’ve heard your house has termites.”

Miguel let’s out a loud groan, “Mhm. I could hear them in the walls at night, it was hell. At least they’re getting taken care of now, ‘Eh?”

“Yeah. I could imagine that would be hell,” You add on, not helping the conversation at all. You really couldn’t focus on conversing well. The man who has plagued your mind since you hit puberty is standing right in front of you, wet and in tiny shorts.

Miguel fully dries himself off, “I’ll go in and change, alright? Then we can talk some more.”

He walks off and you follow behind. You sit next to your dad in the living room and patiently (not at all patiently) wait for ‘Mr. O’Hara’.

Miguel walks into the living room wearing some loose shorts and a white t-shirt. He sits on a free chair and looks to your dad, “Man, look how big your girl is now! Can’t even believe it. Can’t believe how big my Gabi is, either.”

Your dad chuckles and groans, “I know, right? Time really flies when you get old.”

Miguel shoots you a smile, “I’m not that old, am I, cariño?”

You shake your head quickly, “Of course not.”

Your father chuckles, “You don’t gotta lie to Miguel, honey! Let him have it.”

Miguel leans forward to smack your father’s shoulder, “Ay! You aren’t young yourself.”

Your father and Miguel banter back and forth for a bit, before the soccer game starts out. They shut up immediately to watch, though once the plays start happening they shout at the TV like mad men. You chuckle whenever they do. It brought back memories of you and Gabriella having a play date and hearing them go nuts over the match in the other room.

After the match, it was dinner time, and holy fuck did it smell good. Your mother knew how to cook man, let me tell you.

You were sat in between your mom and Miguel. Your dad and the hunk were talking about the game, while your mother asked you questions about how college was going. You told her all about it, from the gossip to how the vending machine in the lobby stopped working again, which pissed you off to no end.

While you were talking and ranting about “those damn machines”, you felt a thigh press against yours. You glance down, seeing it was Miguel’s. Strange, because you didn’t remember his chair being this close. You shrug it off and keep talking to your mom.

After dinner you were stuffed, so you head up to your bedroom for the night. You were currently sitting on your old bed, snuggled up all nice and cozy while watching some YouTube. That was until the door creaked open. You figured your mom had done your laundry like the lovely lady she is, but indeed it was Miguel.

He stepped into the room with a soft smile, closing the door behind him, “Hey, pequeña.”

You sit up immediately at the sight of him, plucking your earbuds from your ears, “Hey, Mr. O’Hara. What do you need?”

Miguel sits himself on the edge of the bed, “You can just call me Miguel, sweetheart. Mr. O’Hara makes me feel ancient.”

“Alright, Miguel.” You smile, which makes him chuckle. He looks up at you and speaks;

“We haven’t had much time to speak one on one. I just wanted to catch up with you, hadn’t seen you in a while.”

You tilt your head endearingly, “Yeah, it has been a while. College has kept me from coming home, plus you and dad don’t hang out around the house as much as you used to.”

Miguel’s face actually pinks a little at the statement, to your bewilderment. He scratches his head, “Yeah. Just gettin’ out on the town as you kids say makes us feel young, I guess.”

Cuddling your blankets a bit closer to you, you grin at him, “You really aren’t that old. You had Gabriella decently young, right?”

“I guess so,” He shrugs, “It feels like forever ago, yet also yesterday. Can’t believe my flor pequeña is in college now.”

You nod, “Oh yeah, I can’t believe we’re in college either. Gabriella texts me all about her college days. She rants about her boyfriend constantly, she seems to really like him.”

Miguel groans, “Don’t even get me started on that boy. He is not worth my daughter, not even a little.”

You giggle at his protective nature. You’re positive that no matter who Gabriella dates, Miguel will never deem them as good enough for his daughter.

Miguel looks into your eyes, “So, you got a boyfriend, niña?”

“Oh, no. I haven’t really met the right person,” Which was a total lie, by the way. You’ve gone on dates and met super nice guys, but in your head you constantly compared them to your first crush ever, Miguel. They never shaped up, so it never went anywhere.

His eyes widen, “Really? You’re so beautiful now, I’d figure you’d have tons of boys chasing you.”

The statement makes you blush fiercely, “Ah, no.”

Miguel lets out a thoughtful sigh, “You really have grown into a lovely young woman, you know.”

You blush even harder, “Thank you, Mr. O’Hara.”

He places a hand on yours with a chuckle, “I told you, it’s Miguel.”

“Right. Sorry. Sorry,” You take some deep breaths, trying to calm yourself down. Miguel sees this and smiles.

“Why so flustered, cariño? Is it because I called you beautiful?”

You end up covering your face to hide said blush from him. Geez, your heart could not take this right now. You were dressed in some baggy Spider-Man pajamas, yet he is calling you beautiful?

“I-I’m not…”

You can’t believe you’re stuttering. The things this man does to you is insane.

Miguel reached a hand forward to take your hands away from your face. He doesn’t remove it, though. He rests it on your cheek.

“Do you want to know why I stopped coming around your house?”

You nod, staring into his chocolate brown eyes.

“It’s because of your 19th birthday. Do you remember it?”

You think back to those years ago. It was a pretty fun party. You got a bunch of friends and family over and swam in your pool. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but just a fun time.

“Yeah. What about it? Did I do something?”

He chuckles and tucks a lock of your hair behind your ear, “Nah. It’s just me. You… that day, do you remember what your swimsuit looked like?”

You think back again and blush. Not one of your smartest moments, buying a white swimsuit. It looked cute online, the thought of that it was supposed to go in water and get wet not really cementing itself in your head.

“Yeah…”

He nods and chuckles, “I saw you step out of the pool, and rushed over with a towel to cover you up. Remember? Sure, it was because I didn’t want you to expose yourself like that. However, I had a selfish reason.”

You look up and tilt your head a little.

“I didn’t want anyone else to see that part of you.”

“Huh?” Your brows furrow.

He smirks, “I was confused by the thought, too. I left right after the party and went to my house. I figured I’d stop having such strange thoughts after a day… but amor, I haven’t stopped thinking about you once.”

Your eyes widen, “Wh- Huh?”

“You’re so beautiful, I don’t think you understand. You grew into this woman who I admire, not just for your looks. You’re wonderful, absolutely wonderful. You’re kind, you’re thoughtful, you’re funny, you’re perfect. I can’t get you out of my damn head.”

You can’t manage to speak at this point. You stare up at the man in shock as he moves his hand from your cheek to the back of your neck.

“Please, let me kiss you, niña,” He basically begs, his eyes look full of desperation, “I’ve wanted to do it for years.”

You manage a tiny nod, so he rushes forward to kiss your lips. He holds you very close against him and kisses you hard. He lets out a groan at the contact. His tongue prods at your lips after a while and who are you to refuse such a man? You let him in, letting out a little groan of your own when he explores you.

After what felt like too short, you have to pull away to catch your breath. He doesn’t stop being on you, though. When you pant, he moves to kiss your jaw and neck.

You let out a little groan, “M-Miguel…”

“No good?” He speaks between kisses, “I’ve wanted to touch you for years, you don’t understand…”

You let out a little whimper, a god damn whimper.

“Please, let me touch you. Fuck, please,” He begs again. You manage a small nod once again. He dives back in to keep kissing your neck.

You wrap your arms around his neck to pull him closer. His hands move downwards towards your shirt. He tugs it over your head and moans. His hands immediately reach down to squeeze your tits, and you have to cover your mouth to keep your moans in.

He mumbles out a soft “Fuck…” when he uses his thumbs to glide over your nipples. After a few seconds, he leans down to press kisses all over your soft breasts. He still uses his hands to softly prod at them.

You let out a low whine and he looks up at you, “Be quiet, my girl. Can’t have anyone hearing you.”

You nod and keep covering your mouth as he leans down to keep pressing soft kisses to your chest. After a few moments, he tugs at your bottoms and looks up at you. You nod embarrassingly, and he takes them and your underpants off in one fell swoop.

You hear him audibly choke a breath, which makes you blush more. He manhandles you so your thighs rest on his shoulders, and just goes to town.

You let out a loud yelp when his tongue presses against your clit, so he reaches down and puts his fingers in your mouth to silence you. He keeps his mouth going, sucking on the bud to bring you pleasure.

Miguel pulls back with a long breath, “Tastes so good…”

You whimper against his fingers when he leans down to insert his tongue in you. You cry out as he holds nothing back, forcefully having his way with you.

His one hand that isn’t in your mouth is softly caressing your thigh, which is driving you crazy in its own right. It feels like everywhere he touches you is pure heaven.

Though that one hand leaves after a moment, instead he moves to insert a finger in you. You clamp down on his fingers, which makes him chuckle.

“Feel that good?”

Against his hand, you mumble, “Fingers so thick…”

He smirks and curls his index finger, making your hips buck up and you let out another whine. He can softly hear you beg for more.

He complies, of course. Hes waited for this for years, no way he won’t give his girl everything she wants.

He inserts another finger, moving them around a little until he eventually finds your most sensitive spot. He presses the pad of his fingers up against it suddenly, making you jerk and squirm around.

His mouth dives back down to suck on your clit, which drives you absolutely insane. His fingers in both your mouth and inside you, as well as his skilled mouth was far too much for one woman to handle.

Miguel looks over at one of the thighs placed on his shoulder, seeing it shiver and shake. He breaks away briefly, “Are you close already, amor? You’re so sensitive for me. Have you been wanting my touch too?”

You nod frantically when he lowers his head to your clit again. You cry out, “Uh-Huh! Y-You were my first crush!” Your words were mumbled against his fingers, but he understood them just fine.

He sucks on your clit hard and curls his fingers at the same time, which causes you to let out a moan and your thighs shake more. He breaks away,

“Look at me when you come. Look into my eyes as I make you come. You understand?”

You nod and keep eye contact with him as he inserts a third finger, pressing over and over to your g-spot. He uses his tongue to swirl around your inflated bud at the same time.

His gaze, his mouth, his fingers, it was all far too much. After one harsh suck, you came with a muffled shout.

Miguel drank it all up immediately, seemingly absolutely satisfied to be covered in your juices.

He lets you catch your breath and removes his fingers from your mouth. He also lowers your hips back to the bed, being delicate as he does so he doesn’t hurt you. You were panting very harshly, still coming down from your high.

Everything was a bit fuzzy at the moment. Though you refocused a few seconds later- holy shit.

His shorts have been discarded, along with his shirt. He was naked just as you were, and god damn was he big.

He leans down to press a kiss to your stomach, “You think you can go again? Can you take me, pretty girl?”

You try and speak only to realize that you, in fact, can’t. You settle for a thumbs up, which just makes him laugh softly.

He gives you a few more seconds before aligning himself up with your pretty pussy, pushing himself in agonizingly slow.

You let out another moan, so he quickly puts his fingers in your mouth again to keep you quiet. He really, really did not need your parents who were down in the living room to hear this.

He kept pushing himself in, holding his own groans back. He’d used his hand and imagined how you’d feel in the past, but it was nothing like this. This was perfect.

Once he was in as far as he could go, he stopped and let you get comfortable. Of course it was a battle for him, he was fighting his primal instincts to just take your hard and fast.

You keep letting out the most adorable little whimpers, which even though he’s currently fucking you, make Miguel’s heart melt.

You hum against his fingers, “Ready…”

He nods and begins to move very slowly. He focuses on your face as he watches it contort and squeeze with his movements. You were so pretty when you were experiencing such pleasure, he thought.

He whispers, “Good job, pequeña. Such a good girl for me.”

The praise makes you bite down on his fingers a little. Your hands travel upwards to scratch on his back, too. It was taking all your willpower to not be loud.

He moves a little faster, leaning down to kiss you as he does. He keeps mumbling “My pretty girl” And “So perfect, just for me” as he increases his speed.

He knows he isn’t going to last long. He’s been dreaming about you for years at this point.

He begins to sweat as his hips snap against yours. His free hand moves down to rub on your already abused clit. You grunt on his fingers, pursing your lips against them.

“You gonna come for me again, amor? Come on my cock. Can you do that for me?” He speaks very softly. Both to keep it down, but to also be intimate with you.

You breathe heavily as you feel him pound into you. You can feel tears brimming at your eyes from the sensation.

He licks his thumb and places it back down on your clit, rubbing circles over and over again. At the same time, his hips were slamming against yours. Soon enough, you reached a second orgasm. He let out a moan that was nearly too loud when you did. The sensation was his end, because a few thrusts later he pulled out and came on your stomach.

You and him sat there, panting like you’d just ran a damn marathon. Though after a few minutes, Miguel stands and walks over to your nightstand to get the wipes there. He begins to wipe you of his cum and your sweat, cleaning you off so you can sleep comfortably.

You were so fucking exhausted it was insane. You could barely register as he carefully slid your pajamas back onto you, then changed back into his own clothes.

He leans down and presses a kiss to your forehead, “If I could sleep in here, I would.”

“Mhm…” You mumble, a little upset he wouldn’t be cuddling you to sleep. But you obviously understood his reasoning.

He pressed a soft kiss to your lips,

“Let’s do this again sometime, pequeña.”

Hope you enjoyed you rabid Miguel fans!! Feedback is always welcome. I used spanishdict so please correct any mistakes you see. Reqs open too!!

This was my first time posting anything NSFW on any site ever so I’m sorry if it’s bad LOL

Don’t repost or claim as or own and all that stuff please!! ❤️❤️

[bellaxgiornata]

Falling For the Devil [Part twenty-four: "The Devil and the Baker"]

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Summary: You, Karen, and Marci go Halloween costume shopping. Days later, the three of you meet Matt and Foggy at the bar for Halloween.

Or

Matt uses his hands to figure out what your costume is–-or an excuse to feel you up. Then you both spend a very sexually tense evening at the bar in a dangerous game of secret public foreplay.

[Series of one-shots about Reader meeting, falling for, and dating Matt Murdock.]

Warnings: 18+ for this series; contains humor, fluff, romance, angst, smut (like...a lot of it later in the series), language, some violence

Word Count: 4.7k

a/n: This installment actually has a naughty part two smupdate called "The Leather Couch" to look forward to afterwards. But there's lots of Spicy Matty in this one! You can find all of the installments for this series on tumblr here.

“What did you say you and Foggy were going as?” Karen asked Marci.

Your eyes scanned the rows of women’s Halloween costumes the three of you were standing before, spotting everything from witches and clowns to sexy maids and cats. You still weren’t entirely sure what you were going to dress up as and Matt had been adamant about not sharing his costume with you. The plethora of choices surrounding you wasn’t helping, either.

"Sexy cop and criminal," Marci answered, standing in front of the handful of various sexy cop costume variations. "I entirely plan to handcuff him to our bed in that little orange jumpsuit and have my way with him later."

"Wouldn't expect anything less from you," you muttered, eyes still scanning the rows of costumes. "What're you thinking of dressing as, Karen? I'm entirely lost here."

Karen sighed beside you, her shoulders sagging with the exhale. "I don't know," she replied. "I was already a skeleton last year. I just don't really feel like putting much thought into a costume when I'm only going to get drunk at a bar, you know?" Her hand reached out, grabbing onto one of the packages before the pair of you. "I don't know, maybe a pirate?" 

“Yeah, you need something a little fiery,” Marci said, apparently finally deciding on one of the many cop costumes before her and pulling it off the rack. 

You paused in front of a costume, a large smile stretching across your face. Grabbing it, you turned and held it out to Karen. “Sexy viking,” you told her. “Totally you.”

Marci’s face lit up as she stepped over, throwing an arm on Karen’s shoulder excitedly. “Yes! It’s badass and totally hot.”

A small grin was on Karen’s face as she accepted the package from your hand, scanning the image on the front of it. “You two sure I can pull this off?” she asked hesitantly.

“With your legs in that little skirt?” Marci asked her. “Uh, yeah. Most definitely.”

Karen shot you a questioning look, one brow raised. You nodded instantly at her.

“That faux suede bralette thing is screaming your name,” you told her.

“Alright, alright, you’ve both convinced me,” she relented. “I’ll be a sexy viking this year.”

Marci’s mischievous gaze landed on you next, a devious smile on her mouth. “We need to find you something sexy for a certain Mr. Murdock,” she purred.

“Oh,” you said hesitantly, “I don’t know if I was going to necessarily go for sexy…”

“Oh come on, live a little!” Marci cried out. “I’m sure Matt would love touching all of that exposed skin all night.”

Karen held up the package with the viking costume, flashing you the image of the skimpily clad woman on it. “If I’m being something sexy, so are you,” she pressed.

With a sigh you gave in. “Fine,” you conceded, quickly holding up a finger and adding, “but nothing too revealing, okay?” 

Marci grinned, turning and grabbing a costume off of the rack and showing it to you. Your eyes went wide before you immediately shook your head.

“Absolutely not!” you declined as Karen giggled.

“What? You don’t want to see just how much of a good Catholic boy he is?” Marci teased, waving the sexy nun costume at you.

“Uh, his mom’s a nun? Kinda weird right there,” you told her, entirely vetoing the idea.

“Ohh, how about a sexy nurse?” Karen suggested, grabbing the costume and showing it to you, waggling her eyebrows meaningfully. “Maybe he needs you to patch him up later?”

You blushed, the idea sounding a little tempting. He would find it amusing and you were sure he’d make some sexual comment to you later–that alone made the idea even more tempting.

“Maybe,” you whispered. “I’ll keep it in mind.”

“Oh!” Marci exclaimed, grabbing a costume off the rack and holding it out to you. “Sexy judge! You could do some real fun roleplaying with that later, if you know what I mean,” she said, shooting you a sly wink.

And like hell if that also didn’t sound like fun.

“ No ,” Karen breathed out, her hand flying up and grabbing a package from further down the rack, whirling around to you with a knowing smile on her face. “This one.”

You bit your lip, fighting back the smile that was growing on your face as you eyed it. Marci gasped, throwing an arm around your shoulder.

“Now that is one way to find out just how good of a Catholic boy he is,” Marci teased. "And you'd look hot as hell in it."

You grabbed the sexy devil costume from Karen; it was certainly not something you’d have normally picked for yourself. It was a short red pleather corset-style dress where the bottom flared out and wasn’t so form fitting that you'd feel too self-conscious all night. Though it looked like it would just barely cover your ass. There was a devil’s tail attached to the back of the dress and a headband with some devil horns. But the sexiest part of it was probably the thigh-high red fishnet garter socks. And like hell if you weren’t getting some ideas about Halloween night with Matt after the bar just looking at this costume.

And on top of that, it felt a little like openly claiming The Devil of Hell’s Kitchen as yours. He was always your Devil, but for Halloween night you could be his devil. And you were sure he’d appreciate that sentiment.

“Yeah,” you said, glancing up at Karen with a grin. “This is definitely my costume.”

_________

Sliding out of the backseat of the taxi behind Karen, you tried hard to not flash anything underneath your costume. The pleather skirt truly did only just cover your ass, which would be dangerous if you had any reason to bend over tonight. Or if you fell in the three inch heels Marci and Karen had somehow convinced you to wear despite the fact that you'd be drinking tonight. 

"You said they were already here waiting for us?" Karen asked over her shoulder.

You adjusted your dress and the devil horn headband on your head as Marci slid out of the taxi after you.

"Yeah," she answered. "Fog said they were waiting for us outside. Just look for the bright orange jumpsuit."

You and Karen scanned the groups of costume-clad individuals along the sidewalk outside of the bar. Marci was beside you, openly readjusting her tits in the skin tight jumpsuit she had unzipped quite low. Karen started laughing beside you and you glanced at her with a questioning brow.

"They're over there," Karen choked out between laughs, shaking her head as she pointed. "I'm sorry but Matt looks ridiculous."

Your gaze followed where Karen’s finger was pointing. The orange jumpsuit Foggy was wearing caught your eye first until your attention slid to Matt beside him. A hand flew up to your mouth as you laughed. Even from this distance you saw Matt grin beside Foggy, apparently hearing your reaction. 

The three of you made your way over to the pair of them, weaving past the groups of people on the sidewalk. You lost it all over again as you finally reached them. Karen was right, he did look ridiculous, but in an incredibly sexy way.

There was a little white chef's hat on his head and what looked like a few smears of flour on his face underneath his dark glasses. The costume he had on was a pair of tight fitting dress pants and a white and brown pinstriped shirt, the sleeves of which landed just before his forearms and left them exposed to your great delight. There was a brown vest over the top of the shirt, and topping all of that off was a dark apron complete with more flour smears. But what was really killing you was what was written on the apron. It read 'Making them buns' and you snorted loudly upon reading it, completely losing it all over again. 

"What are you supposed to be, a chef?" Marci asked him.

"I'm clearly a baker," Matt told her, gesturing at his apron. "Obviously, if I'm making them buns."

"My idea," Foggy cut in. "With how often I've had to hear him tell me about all the cake jokes about his ass recently."

You were biting your lip, fighting back another round of laughs. That's when Foggy realized what you were wearing and he shook his head, grinning.

"Should have figured you'd dress up as a–"

"Shh!" Marci swatted at her husband, cutting Foggy off. "Matt can use his hands to figure out her costume."

You saw the mischievous smirk immediately draw over Matt's mouth and the way one of his brows rose in extreme interest at Marci’s words. The sight caused your pulse to race a little. The three of you had discussed this in the taxi as you rode over and it had sounded like a good idea at the time, but now you were getting nervous at the prospect of Matt openly roving his hands all over your body. 

"Oh?" Matt curiously asked you. "You mean I have an excuse to feel you up right here and now?" 

Yeah, you were definitely rethinking this idea now with that coy look on his face. This man was purposely going to give you a heart attack.

“Uh, I suppose so,” you answered nervously, feeling shy with your friends standing nearby.

When you didn’t move, Karen nudged you forward into Matt, shooting you a pointed look. You turned to her, about to protest, but she was already focused on Marci and Foggy.

“Hey, why don’t we jump in line and give them a minute,” Karen suggested.

“Yeah, good idea,” Marci agreed, grabbing Foggy’s hand. She shot you a sly look as she added, “But I’m pretty sure Matt is going to need more than a minute.”

The three of them wandered off to join the queue for the bar and your attention returned to Matt before you. That coy smirk was still spread over his lips, his gaze never having left you.

“So now that we’re alone,” he said after a moment, his tone provocative and full of meaning as he paused and licked his lips. “Can I try to guess your costume?”

Your eyes were focused on his mouth, those plump, pink lips now glistening slightly from where his tongue had just wet them. Heart rate spiking a little more, you nodded slowly. 

“Here,” he said, hands rising to your waist, but the moment his hands made contact with the plastic-y pleather of your dress he abruptly stopped, a wicked expression forming on his face. “Oh? Was not expecting that,” he mused, both of his thumbs lightly rubbing along the material of the dress.

A smile spread across his face as he turned, trading places with you so that you were standing against the brick wall of the bar and Matt was standing in front of you. To block everyone else’s view, you quickly realized. Your heart thudded a little harder in your chest at that knowledge.

“You’re awfully quiet, are you alright with this?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you breathed out.

Upon your consent, his hands slowly slid their way up your hips, climbing higher as the smirk grew on his face. Gradually they snaked their way up over your rib cage until both of his large palms paused at your breasts. The contrast between the heat of his hands with the cold of your skin in the late October evening had goosebumps dappling every inch of your bare skin. Matt squeezed your breasts roughly over the material of your dress and you gasped out, thighs tightening together.

“I have no idea what you are,” he whispered, tone low and sultry, “but I am quite enjoying finding out.”

“You uh, might have more luck with feeling the back of it,” you told him, voice wavering a little.

A playful noise vibrated in his throat before he gave your breasts one last squeeze, and then his hands were quickly sliding down your body, making their way to the back of the dress. Eventually he found the little devil’s tail and you saw his brows furrow as his hands felt along the length of it.

“Well, clearly a tail,” he thought aloud. “Are you a cat? Even though–” his head tilted to the side as his eyes narrowed behind his lenses, hands still touching the tail, “–this doesn’t quite feel like a cat’s tail.”

You shook your head along the brick wall you were pressed up against, smiling a little. “No, not a cat,” you told him.

“Hmm,” he hummed out, his smile returning. "What color is the dress?"

"Red," you answered quickly.

His hands dropped lower, gliding down over the curve of your ass. Feeling his fingers splay wide over each cheek beneath the fabric, he abruptly gave your ass a firm squeeze next. You bit your lip, fighting the growing heat between your thighs. You both were, after all, still in public.

“Well isn’t this short?” he murmured when the tips of his fingers grazed your actual ass under the dress, the fabric having ridden up while he’d been roughly kneading your ass. “Oh, sweetheart,” he almost purred, both hands having fully slipped under the back of the dress to grab at your bare ass. “Are you not wearing anything under this?” he whispered into your ear, the tip of his nose nuzzling into your cheek.

“Just–just a thong,” you answered, brain feeling like it was turning to mush in your skull with the way his calloused hands were openly playing with your ass. “Wasn’t feeling quite that daring tonight.”

Matt stepped closer to you and you could feel the slight bulge forming in his pants and pressing into your leg. His forehead dropped down to your shoulder, resting there as his nails lightly dug into the flesh beneath his hands. You fought back a moan, trapping it in your throat.

“I don’t even care about the bar at this point,” he said slowly, head still buried along your bare shoulder. “I just want to fuck you.”

A wave of pure want and arousal washed its way down your body and your eyes briefly closed, trying hard to control yourself. “We should–should probably stay for just a bit, at least,” you stammered out. Though your own desire to have his cock buried in you was making you want to grab a taxi and leave, too.

He sighed against your skin, his hands loosening their grasp on your ass and sliding down the back of your legs, but then he abruptly stiffened against the front of you. One of his fingers tugged at the fishnet thigh-high stockings you had on and you couldn’t resist the smile. Both of his hands began feeling around your thighs as a little whine came from his throat.

“Sweetie, are you wearing fishnet stockings and a garter?” he asked.

“Yeah,” you whispered.

He inhaled sharply, a faint groan coming from him next. “Fuck,” he throatily ground out. “You want to torture me tonight, don’t you, sweetheart?”

“I wasn’t exactly expecting this reaction,” you admitted.

Matt lifted his head, gently nipping at your shoulder. A shudder ran down your spine when he lightly kissed the spot afterwards.

“So what are you?” he asked curiously.

Tentatively you reached down, grabbing one of his hands from your thigh. He allowed you to raise his hand, drawing it all the way up to the headband on your head. You watched as his head canted to the side a bit, eyes narrowing behind his dark lenses as his fingers felt up the headband.

“Ears?” he asked.

You shook your head. “Horns,” you whispered.

A slow, sinful smile snuck its way along his lips. His hips bucked forward into you, pinning you further into the wall behind you. Both of his hands came to land on either side of your neck, thumbs lightly brushing along your throat. You were sure he could feel your pulse jumping under your skin right now.

“You’re a devil?” he guessed.

“Mhmm,” you hummed, nodding your head. “ Your devil tonight.”

His bottom lip rolled between his teeth, a soft hiss emitting from him as his head turned to the side. You could see his eyes clamp shut behind his glasses before he swallowed hard a few times.

“Do you have any idea,” he said after a moment, voice low, “how hot that is?”

Reaching out, your hands finally landed on Matt, resting them on his hips. Gently you pulled him closer to yourself, grinning up at him.

“I was hoping you’d like it,” you told him, fingers toying with the strap of his apron. 

His gaze finally landed back on you, his jaw clenching so hard you could see the muscles in his cheeks twitching. Your hands tightened along his hips at the sight.

“I’ve got a few ideas of what I want to do to you in this tonight,” he murmured. “So I hope you’re prepared for it.”

“Well,” you teased lightly, feeling a little bold with how turned on Matt already was, “we have a couple of hours here first. I’m pretty sure we can both find ways to…prepare for it.”

His tongue darted out along his lips again, your eyes following its movement. He smirked a moment later, one of his hands leaving your throat, dragging the backs of his fingers over your body as he gradually lowered it between your breasts, down your ribcage, past your stomach, and then finally up under your dress. Without hesitation his index finger slipped past your thong and swiped along your clit ever so faintly. Your body jolted, a strangled moan falling from your lips before you could stop it. Your eyes widened as a thrill shot through you, your mouth clamping shut.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Pretty sure I can get you nice and prepared , sweetheart.”

_________

Your arms were wrapped around Matt’s neck, the front of you flush to the front of him as your bodies’ grinded against each other slowly and sensually to the pop music playing in the bar Marci had picked out. You’d had just enough to drink tonight that the part of your brain programmed to overthink was muted, allowing the pair of you to join the plethora of other costumed bar patrons grinding against each other.

Matt’s hands were low on your back, pressing his palms hard into you to keep you close to his body. Gazing up at him, you smiled at the smears of flour along his cheeks and chin. He’d told you the flour was Foggy’s idea along with the costume–all thanks to Katy and her constant ass comments that Matt had apparently divulged to Foggy.

As if he sensed you looking at him, he glanced down at you, a little smile drawing over his lips under the dark red lenses. Warmth filled your chest, the feeling having nothing to do with the alcohol in your system or the amount of people packed in the bar.

“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” Matt asked. 

You shook your head lightly, a grin on your own lips as you slid one of your hands out from behind his neck. Reaching up, your fingers traced the line of his stubbled jaw, his head leaning into the touch as he always did. 

“Nothing,” you answered, just loud enough that you knew he could hear you. And without your mind overthinking, you blurted, “I love you.”

His smile somehow grew, the corners of his eyes crinkling just at the edges of his glasses. “I love you, too, sweetheart,” he said.

Closing the distance between your mouths, his nose lightly bumping against yours as he did, Matt kissed you. Your eyes closed instantly, head tilting up further towards him as your hand held his cheek. He tasted faintly of the beer he’d drank as his soft, plush lips greedily kissed your own. The hand you had still behind his neck snuck its way up, just far enough for you to gently tug on his hair. The responding shudder from him had you unconsciously grind your hips into his a little too sensually.

Matt’s mouth broke away, his forehead coming to rest against yours. He groaned low and you felt one of his hands snake its way down over your ass and up underneath your dress. Your hips jerked into his, fighting down a wave of arousal as his palm felt around the curve of your ass for a moment. Before you even blinked, his fingers slipped over your covered mound, rubbing teasingly along your clit.

“Matt,” you chided quickly, though his name came out half moan, half reprimand.

His hand slid back to your ass, a sly smirk on his mouth as he gazed back down at you. “What?” he asked innocently. “I’m just checking out this delicious cake I’ve got here. I mean I am a baker after all.”

Rolling your eyes, you laughed lightly and stepped a bit back from Matt. “I think I need a drink if you’re going to keep being this handsy,” you informed him.

He continued to flash that sly smirk at you as he said, “Whatever you want, sweetheart.”

A few minutes later you were leaning against the bar counter, drinking back your mixed drink and taking a short breather from dancing with Matt. You’d lost Foggy and Marci a little while ago and Karen had found a cute guy shortly after you’d all done a round of shots when you’d first gotten into the bar. After that, the entire night had been nothing but secret foreplay between you and Matt and right now you'd needed a few minutes to catch your breath. 

Matt was now firmly pressed to the back of you, his partially hard dick wedged between your ass. Bending forward, you wrapped your lips around the straw in your glass and took a drink, intentionally shifting your hips against Matt behind you. His right hand on your hip tightened and you grinned around the straw. 

"Careful sweetheart," he whispered, mouth suddenly beside your ear.

Slightly inebriated, you dropped the straw from between your lips, pushing your ass more firmly into him. He grunted, the sound loud with him so close to your ear, and you felt more dampness beginning to pool between your thighs.

"Keep it up," he growled low in your ear, "and I'll be fucking you with my fingers right here until you're cumming on them and calling me baby over this very bar counter." 

He lightly kissed your cheek and your body trembled at the mental image his words elicited. The hand on your hip slid downward and just underneath your short dress, one finger just barely ghosting your damp mound. You flinched at the delicious touch. 

"Don't think I won't," he warned.

Hands fidgeting with the glass in front of you, your cunt throbbed almost painfully at this point as he removed his hand from under your dress. You were beyond sexually frustrated with whatever this game was the two of you had been playing for the past hour and a half. It was torture and you were almost tempted to see if you pushed him enough if he would actually follow through with his threat just so you could get some relief.

Gritting your teeth, you tried to focus on anything besides the feel of him pressed up behind you. As you were trying to take a calm, relaxing deep breath in, you felt Matt tense behind you, an angry growl rumbling in your ear. You frowned, turning over your shoulder to ask him what was wrong, but you quickly caught sight of a brunette barely dressed at all and wearing bunny ears. Your eyes narrowed instantly. 

"You clearly make some nice buns," she slurred out to Matt, biting her lip coyly. 

Eyes darting down, you saw she had her hand on Matt's ass. As he turned around, her hand fell back to her side and a burning rage began coursing through you.

"Excuse me?" Matt shot out, an edge to his voice as his brows furrowed behind his lenses.

"Oh come on," she said, waving a dismissive hand at Matt, entirely disregarding how upset he was. "You can't have an ass in pants that tight, walking around wearing an apron advertising how great of an ass you do have and expect no one to touch it."

Matt opened his mouth to respond, but the anger rippling through you cut him off before he even began.

"Are you really trying to say he was asking for it?" you hissed at her, pushing off the bar and coming to stand in front of Matt. "Because of how he was dressed ?"

"Well, I mean–"

"You don’t just grab at people," you continued, venom in your voice and alcohol dulling your nerves. "You like it when strange men grab at you? Tell you that you were asking for it when they do? That if you didn't want that kind of attention you shouldn't dress a certain way?"

"Well, no–"

"Apologize to my boyfriend," you ordered, eyes narrowed at the young woman.

Startled, she blinked a few times before pink tinged her cheeks. "I uh, I'm sorry," she muttered to Matt. 

"Just because he's a man doesn't mean he doesn't deserve the same respect as women deserve," you told her. "Remember that."

She nodded quickly before ducking her head and disappearing. You stared after her, teeth grinding against each other. Matt slowly slipped a hand around your waist, drawing you gradually into his side. 

"Not that I couldn't have handled that," he said, burying his face into your hair, "but thank you.” His lips gently kissed your temple which was a stark contrast to how he was quickly tightening his hold on you. “That was also incredibly sexy of you,” he said, “defending my honor and all.”

You unclenched your jaw and focused back on Matt, trying to release the anger that had abruptly overtaken you at the young woman brazenly grabbing Matt’s ass. He was grinning down at you, though there was definitely something more behind that grin. Exhaling a sharp breath, you ran a hand across your forehead.

“Sorry,” you grumbled. “Double standards like that piss me off. And besides–” you began, glancing back up at Matt as a grin formed on your own lips; feeling emboldened by the alcohol in your system, your hand darted out behind Matt and firmly grabbed his ass, “–that’s my ass.”

His hand drew you firmly into him before his mouth descended onto yours. Pulling your hand from his ass, both of yours wound their way around his neck, holding him flush against yourself yet again. Matt’s mouth kissed yours with a growing intensity, but you could certainly feel the restraint he was practicing. You, on the other hand, were already nibbling on that soft, perfect bottom lip of his and needily whimpering against his mouth. Matt was the one who had to break the kiss in an attempt to keep you from tearing his costume off in the middle of the bar when one of your hands began tugging at the collar of his shirt.

“I just want you to know,” he told you, breathing hard as he lowered his face so that his lips were brushing your ear as he spoke, “that I’m going to take you back to my place when you finish that drink and I’m going to fuck you absolutely senseless in that devil costume.”

You swallowed hard as he straightened up beside you, a hungry look on his face as he sightlessly gazed down at you. With a shiver running down your body, you returned to your drink at the bar, quickly wrapping your lips around the straw and drinking the alcohol down. Matt returned to his place behind you, pushing you into the counter with his hips as one of his hands slid beneath your dress, his fingers lightly gliding along your cunt through your underwear. For the briefest of moments your eyelids closed, your eyes rolling back as the straw dropped out of your mouth, fighting back a throaty groan.

[utilitycaster]

Unpopular Opinion:

Given the sheer number of people who have learned to play D&D from Critical Role, I think that the cast has a responsibility to talk about the necessity of safety tools at the table more than they do. Most of what they say is some version of: “We’re such good friends who love each other so much and we trust Matt to tell a good story.” It’s frustrating to me as a DM because no matter how long I’ve been playing with my groups (10 years and 6 years respectively) I absolutely still need my players to explicitly tell me their boundaries so that I don’t accidentally plan a story that hurts my friends. Or after a particularly emotional session we all need to make sure that we’re taking care of any character bleed either as individuals or as a group - whatever is appropriate for the situation. (For example, in one game my friend and I played characters who actively disliked each other at the beginning of their acquaintance, and after every session we’d check in and assure each other we were both having fun and weren’t mad at each other in real life.) And there’s almost certainly other things my groups do for each other to ensure our games are safe for everything nat the table that I simply don’t recognize anymore because we’ve been playing together for so long!

To be clear, I’m not saying that the CR cast should be sharing their specific boundaries or anything like that, but I do think that if folks are going to be playing a CR-style story they should be made aware that they probably need to take more steps to make sure their game is safe than the group of trained actors who have been telling stories together for a decade. And I think the cast has a responsibility to make sure that their fans know that.

Strongly and vehemently disagree. I think people who have a platform have an obligation not to spread disinformation nor misinformation and that's fucking it. I do not think that creators are under any obligation to provide a safe space within their own work, let alone a safe space at other people's tables. At most, I think it's wise to include a mention that tools exist in their own published TTRPGs, which they already have for Candela.

I detest how much of the fandom/TTRPG space talks about safety tools because this is the thing: they are tools. They are a list of general guidelines that, frankly, I think are mostly common sense. I think it can be useful for some tables to have a formalized process rather than a casual conversation between friends, and so I am glad that safety tools are out there and exist, but it is the responsibility of the players at a table to find the tools that work for them and implement them and no one is obligated to do that work for them. Critical Role (and any actual play) has zero responsibility for anyone else's D&D table; they are here to put on their own show, and if people can't figure out that communication is important (and ultimately, all safety tools are a long and complicated way of saying 'communication is important') that's really not anyone else's problem.

NGL this legitimately sounds like how my friend's conservative parents wouldn't let them watch TV shows in which there were single parent households because they might get the "wrong" ideas about the sanctity of marriage.

[appropriatelystupid]

can you tell us the story of how you found your cats? i'm sick in bed and would love a heartwarming story :)

ooo you caught me at the right time because i just sat down with quite a bit of time to kill (also I hope you feel better soon <3)

when i say rey picked me i fucking mean it

it’s a lengthy so i’m gonna put it under the cut and kitten pics (first pics i took of the three of them)

our story begins all the way back in 2015:

over the summer i’d had to say good bye to one of my two remaining childhood cats, pongo, after ~17 years. my mom still had the last, catscan, but in september i would be leaving for a new job in a new state and she wouldn’t be able to come with me

there was a few months of training for this new job that meant i was in a situation where i couldn’t have pets yet but by mid december i was in my new apartment and DESPERATELY needed felines back in my life (legit this is the longest i’d ever lived without a cat in my home)

so finally, sorta settled between xmas and new years, i began my search for some kittens

i pretty quickly found the closest humane society to me and started scrolling their cats and there was a GORGEOUS long-haired tortie/calico kitten with a tragic backstory to boot

within a day or two i drove over to try and meet the kitten and see if any others seemed bonded to it because i knew i wanted two so they’d have company while i was at work

so i get there and do some intro stuff with the staff and run through the five cats i’d grown up with (and the bonus cats that crossed my life in various ways) clearly proving i wasn’t terrible and was absolutely qualified for adoption. the next step was meeting all the cats they had

(a brief note about the layout of this place: it’s located in an old house that’s been remodeled to serve this purpose so there are a handful of rooms set up for different groups of cats and each room has a door that’s almost fully a window so they can keep an eye out easier)

so we go into the first room that has the very little kittens and obviously they’re all adorable but they’re only just big enough to technically be ready to go to a new home so none of them jumped out at me

the second room, as it turned out, would be the game changer

in the second room only had two cats in it. lucy and leon (who i remembered had a terribly unflattering photo on the website) were nearly six months old and were very obviously related and likely part of why they were separated from the others

the room had a cat tree in one corner but also had a wall mounted about waist height on three of the walls for them to get to the window. there was a single folding chair placed to the side of the room

so we approach the second room and the employee showing me around tells me she has to take care of something and that i should just wait in the room until she’s done (majorly sus but i think she could tell rey was about to pick me). both kittens are standing in the door window watching me come over

so i scooch into the room and go to sit in the chair and before i’m even fully seated the girl cat is already jumping in my lap to curl up and start purring. the boy, clearly more skittish than his sister, gets up on the wall to sniff at me from a safer distance but eventually stretches out to get a paw on my shoulder to really get some sniffs in

i only sat there for maybe five minutes but my original plan was wobbling majorly

the staffer comes to get me eventually and we continue through the rest of the rooms. the fourth room had the gorgeous kitten and some other unrelated cats. and it was too nervous to really let me pet her. the others didn’t seem too interested in our presence either so no second cat from the room seemed like the one either

we moved on, headed downstairs to the new new kittens who weren’t ready for adoption and the seniors who i wish i could’ve considered more seriously (my pain from the summer was still a little too fresh and i knew catscan was only going to be around so much longer)

as we head upstairs to finish up some paperwork we talk through the next steps. they like my vibes but still need to call my references to do their do diligence. when we walk by, lucy and leon are back in their door window watching

i leave for the day, text my friend to warn her she’d be getting a call, and head to target to pick up some stuff. within an hour, barely into my target run, i get the call that i’m approved to adopt, and do i have any front runners for who i wanted to take home

there was no question about it: it had to be lucy and leon

rather unfortunately, the timing of it all meant i couldn’t actually pick them up until january 2nd (only four days later but a long four days of impatience) but then, just like that, i had two precious little kittens in my house just in time for their sixth month birthday on the 3rd, now named rey and legolas

~cut to april 2021~

i’m sitting at work one day and my buddy texts me that his sister came home that day, during a storm, to discover four kittens in a storm drain/gutter. she’d sat around for a bit to see if a mother came back but after an hour or so couldn’t bear to leave them out alone anymore so she brought them inside

i let him know, if she needed any help with placing them after she got them checked out i could probably help (we lived near each other and both my parents had separately talked about wanting a cat again. and i was moving out of my apartment into more space and figured i could probably handle a third if it came down to it)

two-ish months later, i’ve moved lego and rey into their new house and my buddy texts me again, am i still interested in another cat

there was one of the four yet to be claimed and i said absolutely give me the little guy

my buddy puts me in touch with his sister and we sort out a time for me to come by and, within a day or two, kieran joins the clowder

[fogwitchoftheevermore]

👀 martyn and/or rendog for the mcyt blaseball au?

Oh my god ok so time to divulge a secret. While I said there were three legs of this AU (Empires, Hermitcraft, and the Life Series) I just cannot get the Life Series branch to Totally work. I don't know why, I just have a much more difficult time assigning teams to the Life Series players than any other SMP. I think it’s probably got to do with how wildly different everyone’s story is in any given season and something to do with the fact that dying in a Life Series is just wildly different that dying in Empires or Hermitcraft and that difference just doesn’t transfer quite right to a Blaseball AU.

However the Life Series branch of this AU does exist, and it has basically just become a treebark AU at this point, so you're in luck. You're especially in luck because Martyn still exists in the Hermitcraft AU, so I'll give you them in both!

Let's start with Hermitcraft, because that's the simple one.

Ren Dog is a shortstop for the San Francisco Lovers with the Charm modifier. He spends his time off the field as the test dummy for Doc’s experiments or Martyn’s video games, making any given reporter fall in love with him, and watching a lot of Flormula 1.

The Charm modifier is one that allows players who have it to periodically charm their opponent into failing. In Ren’s case, this means getting the pitcher to throw an extra ball or two with a well timed smile or wink. All the lovers have it, but ladies (and gentlemen and others) get in line, because Ren is particularly good at it. Ren is also the captain of the Lovers- self appointed- because he thinks he’s good at that (he’s not but they let him have this).

Martyn isn’t a player in this universe (but it’s not off the table! It never is off the table to become a player, if the Hermits are looking to add anyone to season 10). He’s just a regular guy doing regular guy things. He and Ren are at the very least living together, I’ve not decided if they’re married. I don’t know why but something in my bones is telling me that Martyn is a video game dev for his day job.

Ren’s Assigned Garages Song: i’m in love with a blaseball player

Sorry I’m not giving Martyn one because he doesn’t play

Martyn Inthelittlewood is our Parker Macmillan in this AU because I am nothing if not consistent.

Martyn I started his career as a first baseman for the Alaskan Immortals during Pre-History. He was one of the best players in the League and made the Fans, some of whom are Watchers, because the metaphor is literally right there, lots of money due to his Profit modification, which increased idol payouts x10. Fans of teams that weren’t the Immortals got jealous and cursed him with Non-Proft, baring any Immortals fans from making money off of him, as well as Firewalker, which would curse any team he left with team wide instability. If the Immortals Watchers wanted to make money off of Martyn, they’d either have to leave the team that he was single-handedly bringing to every championship or risk his leaving the team killing the entire team.

The Watchers chose to risk it.

And then a lot more stuff happened to Martyn I that I’m not gonna get into, and I’m going to assume that you’re a Blaseball fan, anon, so you already know all this anyways. If you’re not, I’d absolutely be willing to explain but this post is already so long without it. Anyways, Martyn I gets trapped in the Vault for an undisclosed number of years and clones get made of him that don’t remember any of this.

We don’t know what happened with Parker II, so we don’t know what happened with Martyn II either. This will never fail to make me deeply deeply angry.

Martyn III is made the intern-interim commissioner of the newest era of Blaseball, the era in which Ren was a season 1 player.

Ren Dog was a first basemen for the LA Tacos while they were still the LA Tacos. He’s our Wyatt Mason in this AU, if you haven’t gathered. This also means he should be way worse of a player than I made him but I felt bad doing that. When the Grand Unslam happened and the world fractured around him, every member of the Tacos suddenly lost their names, the only identifier Blaseball players had at this point, and became Ren Dog. Martyn III guided the Fans (Watchers and Listeners alike cause why not) in restoring all the members of the team, except for Ren. Because that’s just not how this works. It never is.

Ren dissolved into static and became the Microphone, his own entity separate from the gods and management of Blaseball. He plays by his own rules and helps save the world from the guys in charge. Martyn III might not be a fan of the guys in charge, but he doesn’t understand the Microphone, and it scares him, and he doesn’t know why.

It should be known that while Blaseball was running I was a diehard for Parker/Wyatt, and so that heavily effects this whole thing. Specifically, a very important thing to me was that Wyatt/Ren was a normal person during pre-history when Parker I/Martyn I was playing Blaseball for the first time. The Boss (the Watchers) weren’t his biggest fan and maybe, just maybe, the Watchers pulled some strings to put Ren in the latest iteration of Blaseball so they don’t run the risk of him and Martyn III meeting each other and talking for too long. What happens to Ren in the Grand Unslam is just helping keep them apart even more.

However, what Ren is doing as the Microphone is bad for business. Very bad. So maybe they pull another few strings to send Ren very far away for, ideally, a very long time. And maybe they equally orchestrate some bad things happening to Martyn III and Martyn IIII so that they finally get the perfect puppet with Martyn IIIII.

But nothing ever works out the way they want. Because the game, the business, is falling apart at the seams. Because Martyn I is still in the Vault, dead set on getting out, and when Martyn IIIII finds out that he isn’t his own person? That he’s a clone of a man that’s still alive and still angry? That he’s missing memories most of his life because they were taken from him?

Yeah he doesn’t take it so well.

He finds himself asking the Microphone- Ren- for help. He doesn’t know why. But Ren can’t reach him where he is, so Martyn takes ahold of the Microphone himself, directs the new generation of Fans into taking down the old ones, the Watchers, who are now management and straight up ending the world. And he does take them down, but the world still ends, and inside that Black Hole, everting gets weird for Martyn.

It’s a side effect of taking up the Microphone- you don’t do that and not get weird.

Ren’s still not quite around, never really will be again, but now that Martyn’s taken up the Microphone, they can talk. And this Martyn is not the one that Ren knew and loved long before all of this, but he also kind of is? He used to be, even if he doesn’t remember it? But admittedly, Ren isn’t the Ren that Martyn knew either. They’ve both changed beyond belief, and maybe they can have something new together now. And maybe having something new means having it in the void at the end of the world but, well, at least they get to have it.

I care about them a lot in this AU they make me crazy.

Martyn’s Assigned Garages Song: firewalker with me

Literally what else did you expect

Ren’s Assigned Garages Song: ENCORE

I’ll be frank this one’s a bit of a cop out because Rain is a Garage and this is a Blaseball song but it wasn’t released under the Garages label. But look it’s just so good.

[leonsrightlations]

The Earth is Online Chapter 18.2

“How did you become an official player?”

Tang Mo lifted his head to see Chen Shanshan walk out of the gym and lean against the wall to look at him. He was silent for a moment.

“On the third day of the earth being online, I participated in a Black Tower game and obtained victory. It was a one versus one confrontation game and the other player was your father."

Chen Shanshan’s body tensed, then quickly eased. “You don’t need to feel guilty.”

“I don’t feel guilty.”

She looked at him. Tang Mo said, “It was your father who pulled me into that game. If I hadn’t participated in that game, I might already have disappeared. But now I’ve completed his dying wish and verified your safety. It wasn’t me who disappeared in that game. It was him. I had some guilt, but now that I’ve seen that you’re still alive, I won’t feel guilt and I don’t think your father will blame me, either.”

Chen Shanshan looked at him for a good long moment, then smiled. “You’re a very strange person.”

The little girl was shorter than Tang Mo by a head, yet her speech was very mature.

Tang Mo said, “You’re very smart.”

“My grades have always ranked in the top ten of my year. I won first prize in the Olympics and the National Computer Competition [1], and often represent the school to participate in various academic competitions.” Chen Shanshan said, “But after the earth went online, the physical quality of reserve players has also improved, and I seem to have become even smarter. For example, do you know how you become a reserve?”

Tang Mo’s pupils shrank. “I don’t know.” Official players are those who participated in a Black Tower game within those three days and obtained victory. Stowaways are the players who killed a person within those three days. Then what about reserves?

“After the game officially started, our school had eighteen people in total. Among those, only Zhao Ziang and Qiao Feifei are official players. The other sixteen people are all reserves. I inquired in detail about their experiences during those three days and noticed a commonality.”

Tang Mo hadn’t met that many people and so didn’t have the chance yet to fully explore the requirements for becoming a reserve. Chen Shanshan knew a lot of reserves and had the opportunity to explore the cause, but that she could think to do this and additionally seemed to have found an answer was already enough to amaze others.

“Including me, those sixteen people all played games within those three days and won. They weren’t Black Tower games, just ordinary ones, including computer games, mobile games, and games played in real life. Among these, Teacher Li is the most unusual. He didn’t play any games, but he once won a bet with another teacher and so also survived.”

Tang Mo frowned. “It’s not that simple. If it’s merely winning a game, the number of humans who have played games in those three days’ time is absolutely not just four hundred million.”

Chen Shanshan nodded. “Yes, it’s definitely not so simple. For example, me. In those three days, I won games and also lost games. I survived, yet my classmate who won didn’t survive. I carefully inquired again and noticed that my surviving classmates all, with their own ears, heard the other party admit that they were eliminated.”

Tang Mo said in surprise, “They personally admitted that they were eliminated?”

“Correct. They personally admitted they were eliminated. The Black Tower made an announcement on the fifteenth, giving notice that the earth was online and telling us that we must eliminate a player. No one knows how to eliminate a player, but it said these words, and many people took it to heart. Normally when you play a game you might say, ‘I lost,’ but you generally wouldn’t say, ‘I was eliminated.’ It’s exactly because the Black Tower previously said this word ‘eliminate’ that many people had a lot of awareness toward it in their hearts. Sometimes they might have been joking and sometimes they might have spoken without thinking - they just said this word.”

Tang Mo had never imagined it would be this simple.

Chen Shanshan leaned against the wall. “But this might only be one method for becoming a reserve. Among us sixteen reserves, there are two students whose opponents didn’t personally admit they were ‘eliminated,’ but those two students also became reserves. The sample size is too small. I can only analyze this much.”

“You’re already very amazing.” Tang Mo rarely praised people.

Chen Shanshan bowed her head. “They should attack tonight.”

Tang Mo said, “En. It should be tonight.” [2]

Chen Shanshan was called by Teacher Li to come help out and Li Wen walked over. “It was unfortunate that you came today and it happened to be at night during the most dangerous time. That little girl, Chen Shanshan, is particularly smart. She not only had us set up a trap to one side of the gate guard room’s entrance, she even had us block the fence gate’s entrance with a very thin wire. Anyway, if you want to enter the gate, you will fall into the trap. Fortunately you broke through the gate guard room’s glass. Otherwise you certainly would have fallen into it. Hey, that’s right, how did you know there was a trap?”

“I found a map of S-City with North Jing Middle School marked on it in a news kiosk. It even marked the area’s boundaries. This middle school is quite large.”

Li Wen didn’t understand. “My alma mater is one of S-City’s four famous schools and really does take up a lot of space, but so what?”

Tang Mo looked at him “Middle school isn’t elementary school. Most middle schools will have snack stands set up on their campuses. A school as big as yours might have a campus supermarket. It’s only been two days since the game started and the school has a supermarket. The students can’t lack food and water. I deliberately told that chubby little boy [3] that I wanted to give him food and water. If he didn’t want it, that’s normal, but he surprisingly did want it, which shows he was definitely bluffing.”

The chubby little boy, Zhao Ziang, walked into the gym right then, scratching his head in confusion. “Ah? I originally wanted to deceive you into walking into the trap, but it turns out that it was actually always you who was deceiving me?”

Tang Mo said, “You’re still young. When you deceive people in the future, you must first think in advance about whether there are any loopholes.”

The chubby little boy nodded, dazed.

Li Wen jokingly said, “You’re actually teaching an eighth grader [4] how to deceive people.”

Tang Mo shrugged and looked at the chubby little boy. “I heard Chen Shanshan say that your ability is in the attack category. Can you talk about its specifics? Were those nails I ran into on the road your doing?”

Zhao Ziang sat down and honestly said, “That’s right, that’s my ability. Qiao Feifei and I are official players. Don’t look at how short and thin Qiao Feifei is, our physical strength and energy is even better than Teacher Li’s. Qiao Feifei is a girl, so I volunteered for the nightwatch at the gate guard room to defend against those bad guys’ nighttime attack. Chen Shanshan said that from eleven o’clock in the middle of the night to two in the morning is when those bad guys are most likely to attack. You just happened to come at that time so I thought you were a bad guy and moved against you.” He rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry. I almost scared you.”

“It’s nothing. If you can scare me, that’s your ability.” [5] What Tang Mo was more concerned about was, “Were those street lights broken by you?”

The chubby little boy nodded his head. “That’s right. It was Shanshan who had me break them. She said that with all the broken glass on the ground like this, people coming close will make noise. After I became an official player, my hearing became very good. Someone only needs to step on that glass for me to be able to hear it from very far away.”

“What is your ability?”

“It could be considered spatial movement? I also don’t really get it. I can shift objects to any place within a one hundred meter range. But my ability isn’t strong enough and I can’t move heavy things. But if it’s nails or needles, that kind of very light, very small thing…”

“Woosh!” A small, thumb-sized, sharp needle instantly appeared before Tang Mo’s eyes. He swiftly flung his head to the side. The slender needle only floated in front of his eyes, not moving forward. With Tang Mo’s current vision for movement, he could see the path the needle took to fly over, but this was only on the basis that he had been somewhat on guard. If he hadn’t been the least bit on guard, he was afraid it would be very hard to dodge this needle.

Zhao Ziang watched Tang Mo swiftly dodge and said in astonishment, “Your reaction speed is so fast. You’re faster than both Qiao Feifei and me.”

Tang Mo already understood this eighth grade boy’s ability. It truly was an ability with a great offensive nature. Unfortunately, the things it could move were really too small and the speed still wasn’t fast enough. At least, Tang Mo could dodge. If he could use an even faster speed to move a sharp knife, then I’m afraid those stowaways would have an even harder time.

Tang Mo held the needle and looked toward the chubby little boy. “In the future, don’t casually tell other people about your ability again.”

Zhao Ziang: “Ah?”

Tang Mo said, “Be more careful.”

Zhao Ziang said, “...Isn’t it you who had me say it!?”

The chubby little boy had never been tricked by someone like this before and walked away feeling wronged.

Li Wen said in exasperation, “Tang Mo, is it really okay for you to bully a small child like this?”

Without changing his face, Tang Mo said, “I’m helping him grow up.”

Li Wen actually felt this was reasonable, and was convinced.

During the daytime, Tang Mo and the few other people spread a good number of traps at the school entrance and along the road in the school’s neighborhood. With the chubby little boy’s ability, it was extremely easy to lay down traps. Chen Shanshan also gave Tang Mo a detailed account of the remaining three stowaways’ abilities.

“Of the three people, two people’s abilities are very dangerous and there’s one person whose ability has unclear usage. I’ll first talk about that ability with unclear usage. That stowaway’s ability is…growing flowers. Teacher Li saw it with his own eyes - the places where he passed suddenly blossomed. It’s just ordinary roses. [6] We met him twice and he didn’t show anything in particular. However, his speed is very fast. Moreover, he seemed to know a few wrestling moves and fought very fiercely.”

Tang Mo had seen all kinds of “weirdo” abilities. He himself had that trashy book which was also a “weirdo.” As far as this kind of self-cultivating flower growing ability went… He couldn’t evaluate it, but he still couldn’t relax his vigilance.

Chen Shanshan said, “There are still those other two people’s dangerous abilities. Of these, there’s a person who can breathe fire.”

“Breathe fire?” It was Tang Mo’s first time hearing of an ability like this that was both strange and in line with common sense.

In many television shows, characters with abilities for the most part used a magical power such as breathing fire or spitting water. When Tang Mo was bored at the city library, he would read a few novels. There were many abilities classified as metal, wood, water, fire, and earth - that kind of thing. [7] There only a few with “weirdo” abilities like those produced by the Black Tower.

“Yes, he can breathe fire. His fire came out of his mouth. I observed carefully, and he can breathe fire once every three minutes. The flame’s temperature is very high. It can’t melt steel, but it can melt marble. Previously, when the night was so dark it was impossible to see, he blew fire that melted two of the four words that say ‘North Jing Middle School’ at the school entrance. The melting point of steel is approximately 1500 degrees Celsius and the melting point of marble is approximately 800 degrees Celsius. I estimate that the temperature of the flame he breathes is 1000 degrees Celsius or lower.” This truly was a very dangerous ability.

“What about the one that’s left?” Tang Mo’s tone was solemn.

“The one that’s left…he has a gun.”

“A gun?” Tang Mo’s expression went hard.

Chen Shanshan said, “Zhao Ziang likes to play survival games and is relatively familiar with firearms. He said that gun is one used by the police and was probably grabbed by that stowaway after the game started. But having a gun isn’t frightening at all. The frightening thing is that that person’s ability seems to have something to do with guns. He has unlimited bullets.”

Tang Mo’s heart tightened.

“Zhao Ziang said, in general, police guns have eight bullets. But last night, that stowaway shot at least thirty bullets. He didn’t change guns, nor did he change magazines. [8]  Ultimately, we don’t know how many bullets his ability can fire and can only consider the worst situation - that he has unlimited ammo.”

Tang Mo’s eyes focused and he said, “The physical quality of official players is very high, with hard skin that can resist being cut by ordinary blades. But for the time being, we’re still unable to contend with guns. If we’re shot three times, we’ll lose the ability to fight. Reserves have even less ability to defend against guns.”

“Yes, we know.”

Tang Mo thought about it for a while. “Can you give me the big match to use?”

He had only just spoken when the chubby little boy hurriedly brought the big match and passed it over to Tang Mo. “I’ve been waiting for you to say the word. The physical quality of us three official players is the best and I get the sense that your strength is even greater than mine. Chen Shanshan said that it's best to give this to you to use.”

Tang Mo was slightly startled and looked at Chen Shanshan.

The short-haired girl’s expression was serious, like a small adult. “This thing is definitely really amazing.”

Tang Mo smiled. “In my hands, it will be even more amazing.” So saying, he pressed the familiar big match to his wrist. Instantly, the huge match disappeared, and a red match tattoo once again appeared on his wrist. Chen Shanshan and the chubby little boy’s eyes widened in surprise.

Tang Mo said, “My ability.”

The chubby little boy suddenly understood. “Like this, it can be considered a concealed weapon! It really is great!”

Time passed by minute and second and the sun gradually sank into the west. During the day, everyone was still able to relax a bit. As it got closer to evening, everyone’s minds tensed.

Tang Mo walked to the side of the little girl, Qiao Feifei. This weak and delicate ninth grade girl had a big stick tied to her body. She was a girl, but even more than that, she was an official player. She was even stronger than Teacher Li.

“Don’t use a stick. You’re a child and not big enough. You won’t be able to use a stick with your full strength, and having it tied to your body will be cumbersome, too. You’re more suited to use an agile weapon.” Tang Mo said, “Give the stick to me.” [9]

Qiao Feifei thought about it, then took the stick off her back and passed it to Tang Mo. “Okay.”

Taking the stick, Tang Mo felt the expected bizarre trace of strength.

He walked into a corner and took his ability book out of midair –

[Ability: Looking for a friend. [10]

User: Qiao Feifei (official player)

Type: Special type.

Function: Check player identities.

Level: Level one.

Restriction: Can only check five players’ identities a day. Moreover, cannot check directly when the target’s ability is much stronger than the user’s.

Remarks: It’s too trash. I don’t want to make a remark.]

It turned out that his ability was stronger than Qiao Feifei’s so she wasn’t able to directly see his identity and needed to touch him. Tang Mo looked down again –

[Tang Mo version usage explanation: Can check one player’s identity every day. This ability is too trash. If Tang Mo doesn’t pay for it, I also have nothing to say.]

Tang Mo had intentionally collected Qiao Feifei’s ability. Yesterday, after obtaining Li Bin’s ability, he had vaguely sensed that his physical quality seemed even stronger. He could see even further, his reaction speed was even faster, and his strength was even greater.

Before he had obtained Li Bin’s ability, Tang Mo wouldn’t dare guarantee that he could dodge the chubby little boy’s first nail attack. He wanted to verify that after obtaining another’s ability, in addition to the ability, he would also increase his strength.

The results were as he had thought. Tang Mo clutched the stick in his hand, forcefully pressing down the five fingers of his right hand. On the solid wooden stick, five shocking fingerprints appeared.

If obtaining others’ abilities could increase fighting strength, then in that case…

Tang Mo walked up to the chubby little boy’s side. “I’m a bit hungry. Little chubby, [11] can you give me this bread?”

Zhao Ziang was in the middle of eating to replenish his strength in preparation for a big fight. He mumbled, “There’s still a lot over there. Go get one yourself, okay.”

Tang Mo thickened his face. “I like the taste of the kind you have and it’s the only one left.”

The little chubby boy was extremely generous and gloomily gave the bread to Tang Mo.

Li Wen said, “Hey, Tang Mo, you’re even snatching the little friend’s food?”

Tang Mo didn’t respond to his words, but even so, his face was a bit ugly. He coerced bread from the chubby little boy and didn’t pay for it, but unexpectedly didn’t get his ability!

How could this be? Tang Mo was slightly unresigned. The chubby little boy’s ability was a very useful attack type. If he collected it, it would be a big help in the future. Tang Mo again coerced a few cookies [12] and a carton of milk. He didn’t want anyone else’s food, just the chubby little boy’s.

The chubby little boy’s face was green, wanting to cry without tears. “Why the heck are you staring at me, huh?”

Tang Mo’s face was even greener. “Another cookie.”

He ate two boxes of the chubby little boy’s cookies, a piece of bread, and a carton of milk. Tang Mo opened all of them and still didn’t get his ability.

The other people were all amused by their strange behavior, having a hard laugh together before the big fight.

Chen Shanshan took a pensive glance at Tang Mo. Just as Tang Mo had finally given up and turned to leave, she picked up a box of cookies and quickly ran over.

The short and thin little girl wasn’t good looking, yet she had an expression of unwavering determination.

She looked at Tang Mo. “Do you want to get things from others? Does it have something to do with your ability? Is it okay for me to give you something? With this, will you become even stronger?”

Tang Mo was startled.

How could she be so smart? How could she guess so accurately?

Chen Shanshan didn’t have an ability. Even if Tang Mo took her things without paying for them, there wouldn’t be any benefit.

Yet the little girl was earnestly staring at him, offering a box of cookies with both her hands. She grit her teeth and said, “I’ll give it to you. No matter what it is, I’ll give it to you as thanks for helping us.”

Tang Mo was just trying to figure out how to decline when he heard these words. He closed his mouth and accepted the little girl’s cookies.

The instant his fingers touched the cookies, Tang Mo’s eyes widened. After he had taken the ability book out just now, he hadn’t put it back into the air but instead into his backpack. 

Now he took it out and opened it to look –

[Ability: Super Intelligence.

User: Chen Shanshan (reserve).

Type: Gene type.

Function: Develops the brain to its utmost. Super keenness.

Level: Level three.

Restriction: The upper boundary for the degree of accuracy of judgment is 50%. The extent to which physical strength can improve is 0.

Remarks: How can I always guess the actual facts? Stupid mortals, it’s because I’m smarter than you, ha ha ha ha…] [13]

“What is it?” Chen Shanshan asked.

Tang Mo lowered his head to look at this little girl. The big mole had previously said that official players and stowaways definitely had abilities while reserves might also possess abilities.

It turned out to be like this. It’s no wonder she was so smart.

“I will definitely take revenge for you.”

Chen Shanshan: “Good! Revenge!”

“Bang!” An ear-piercing gunshot broke the quiet of the night. Tang Mo twisted his head to the side and pushed Teacher Li, who was standing behind him.

Before his eyes, a silver bullet flew at a slow speed past the place where Teacher Li had just been standing. Tang Mo rapidly looked toward the place where the bullet had been shot from, his gaze focused.

Tang Mo said loudly, “Little chubby, smash the gym’s light.”

“Okay!”

A nail quickly pierced the air. The gym’s lightbulb was completely broken.

The world sank into darkness.

Surprised, Li Wen asked, “Tang Mo, what are you doing?”

Tang Mo crouched down to the ground and drew out a precise circle at an extremely fast speed. The sky was too dark and the other people only saw him suddenly crouching down without knowing what he was doing.

Tang Mo stood up and lightly said, “Drawing a circle to curse him.”

[PREV] [TOC] [NEXT]

Okay, sorry this was so late. This chapter was very long ha ha ha ha...

This is the end of Chapter Two: Official Players. Next chapter is the start of Chapter Three: Mario.

Translation Notes:

[1] Academic Olympics. The National Computer Competition here is the National Computer Rank Examination, a real Chinese exam that tests students’ abilities to use various computer applications such as Microsoft Office and even programming languages.

[2] And then in the original Chen Shanshan she wants to kill them, but this part is cut out in the print version. Let *clap emoji* middle schoolers *clap emoji* commit *clap emoji* murder *clap emoji*.

[3] There’s no non-awkward way to translate this, especially since it’s used as a direct form of address later on. It’s 小胖子 or ‘little fatty.’ I changed it to chubby at least because this is nicer in English than ‘chubby.’ Uh…setting aside complex issues regarding body image, culture, and untranslatable language differences, this isn’t supposed to be as mean as it comes across in English. It’s just an unfortunate nickname.

[4] Second year middle school student, but that’s a mouthful. I’m pretty sure this is the equivalent of eighth grade (year nine in the UK). Chinese schooling has six years of elementary school, three years of junior high/middle school, and three years of high school.

[5] As in, his capability as a person, not his Black Tower ability.

[6] 就是普通的玫瑰 - ‘it’s just ordinary roses’, but then there’s a second part - ‘月李什么的’ - and I’m not sure what this means. Guessing at a specific variety maybe? Discovered the answer, I was writing it wrong like an idiot. It's 月季 not 月李. 月季 is yueji, Chinese rose. So it's ordinary roses and roses. And I will just leave it as is.

[7] The classic Chinese elements.

[8] [sic] I don’t know enough about gun anatomy to definitively say whether you call it a magazine or a clip and when I tried to look it up the internet just asked me if I wanted to buy one. ┐( ´ д ` )┌

[9] In the original he also recommends she specifically use a knife instead.

[10] 找呀找呀找朋友 - This is a line from a common Chinese children’s song. [link]

[11] …*sigh* There’s really no way to translate this that doesn’t sound rude. It’s even worse because Tang Mo is literally the first person to actually call him 小胖子. Everyone else just calls him by his name. It’s only the narrator and Tang Mo who do it. Which is kind of hilarious but like. Just take my word for it that it’s not mean… lmao… 

[12] 饼干 - The word for cookies and crackers (like Ritz or Goldfish or something, not rice crackers) is the same. I assume these are cookies but I’m not really sure.

[13] I suspect that this is a specific reference to something since this would be in line with the book’s style, but I’m not really sure. I can at least say it’s definitely really chuuni.

[the-sparkling-diamond-satine]

for the WIP ask game: very curious about fuffy genderfluid, christmas present for echo, catholic boarding school buffy/faith, and non-girl talk buffy and jenny. sorry I know that’s a lot but the list is all very intriguing to me!!

Send me an ask with a title that intrigues you from my list of wip's and I'll tell you something about it or post a snippet from it.

Fuffy Genderfluid:

Buffy thinks she’s about to be kissed but it never comes. When she opens her eyes again, Faith is just staring at her. “What?”

“Got distracted,” Faith says, thumbing Buffy’s cheek affectionately.

“By what?”

“By how beautiful you are.”

Buffy blushes. “You sure you weren’t just watching the TV over my head, getting distracted by…” Buffy turns her head to look at the TV. She continues, “By those two boys kissing?”

Faith frowns at her, “What show are you watching?”

“I’m watching the same thing you’re watching.”

Faith shakes her head like Buffy’s being silly. “That one,” she points to the kid with a shaved head, “is a girl. Her name is Eleven.”

“Eleven?” Buffy thinks she might like this show. Monsters and aliens or whatever aside, another girl with a shaved head? A kid with a name that doesn’t mean she’s a boy or a girl, it’s just gender neutral?

Christmas Present for Echo:

Echo is my friend and beta, and for Christmas this year we exchanged fics :) The one I wrote her was a Faith/Buffy + fake marriage story. Post-Chosen. Supernatural things are happening at a honeymoon resort, Faith and Buffy have to pose as a married couple and go undercover to slay. Angst, pining, awkwardness, and much "how do we act like we're married??" ensue :)

Catholic Boarding School Buffy/Faith:

This one is very loosely based on Bare: A Pop Opera, which is a story of two high school boys secretly in love at Catholic boarding school, set against the backdrop of their school play: Romeo and Juliet. They are, in many ways, Romeo and Juliet. Much angst and tragedy ensue. As someone who was sent to 13 years of Catholic school (of the non-boarding variety) secretly growing up queer, this musical was very formative to me haha and this fic is near and dear to my own experience.

The title of my fic "Am I Here to Damn You? Or to Help You Navigate This Maze?" is one of my favorite lines. Just...the moral questioning that you have to go through being raised in a certain faith, falling in love and being told it's wrong, and then starting to worry not only about the fate of your own soul but of the soul of someone you love so dearly. Just. Ouch??? It hurts so good. Another one of my favorite lines: "Father, we were so in love. And that's what I find so odd. Our love is pure and nothing else brought me closer to God." This musical absolutely destroys me okay???

I'm changing a lot of plot points to fit the Fuffy dynamic and the story I want to tell and tbh I haven't decided whether I'm going for that MCD tragic ending tag or if I'll rewrite. Decisions, decisions. Either way, much angst and moral questioning abound.

Non-Girl Talk Buffy and Jenny:

Summarized here but since I got asked again I suppose I can be brave and share a snippet from my VERY ROUGH draft:

Buffy’s hand stills on the doorknob, and Jenny relaxes her tone, saying the next part with more calm and less urgency. “When I was your age, I was doing the same thing.”

Buffy turns completely, her intention to leave forgotten. A myriad of emotions flit across her face, so quickly that Jenny only registers a couple of them: hope, longing, joy, hesitation. The one Buffy settles on is disbelief. “But…” She glances at Jenny’s obviously unbound chest, then back up to Jenny’s face, her cheeks pink. Asking without asking.

“When I was your age,” Jenny repeats softly.

“So, you’re trying to tell me that it’s ‘just a phase’ and I’ll get over it when I’m older?” Buffy asks, a hint of that angry, defiant Slayer returning. Jenny sees how Buffy manages to give Rupert so much trouble, and she loves her for it.

“You might,” Jenny admits. “Or you might not. I don’t know what’ll happen for you. I didn’t get over it.”

[winters-tales]

Oh, the IRON-y!

Almost 100 years after the end of the war, with no further threats from the Fae, the public starts to question: is IRON really worth the taxpayer’s money?

September 2100 | By Yvette Lineham, Post-war correspondent

The Incursion Reaction Operations Network was originally founded in the immediate aftermath of the war to make up for a shortfall in military presence; the Fae may have left, but the breaches were still showing up, and it was almost unanimously agreed that such a group would be needed. Over the years, they’ve held bases of operations all over the country, but due to budget cuts over the years this has shrunk down to just twenty posts in total. With election season coming up, IRON is a hot-button topic, with some arguing for complete closure, and others arguing to continue the trend of closing things down gradually.

One has to wonder just how often a situation requiring their input occurs; is it often enough that we need the branch at all? Rachel Henson, MP for Derby where IRON’s central base of operations is, has some thoughts on that.

“The RNLI is essential, and a charity organisation,” she tells me between meetings. “They are there to fill the gaps the coastguard cannot, and we are very grateful to them for their volunteer work, especially as it’s just as dangerous as what IRON used to do.” Used to? “Yes, ‘used to.’ No more. Look, they were absolutely necessary in the aftermath of the war, there’s no denying that at all, but it’s been almost a century since the war ended, and there’s been absolutely no further incursions since then. I’d wager most of the calls they get are for perfectly ordinary animals that look a bit off in low light.”

David Raynor, formerly a Sergeant in the Armed Forces and now heading up IRON, disagrees when I mention Ms Henson’s thoughts on the matter.

“The Honourable Member is welcome to join me on a normal day’s work, and see just how many reports we get that are false positives,” he says between calls. “The thing is, it’s not just Fae we have to watch for. She’s absolutely right that there have been no incursions from Fae, but there are other things out there just waiting for a breach. They’re what we watch for more than anything - and they tend to work really hard at looking like ordinary animals.”

I ask what he means by that, and he responds by spinning in his chair and retrieving a binder stuffed full of pages. He flips through some of the entries before laying the pages open for me, and spins the binder so I can see.

“We call them veil-walkers,” he says. “ They’re the beasties that aren’t part of the Fae Wilds, but they’re not part of our world either. Most common one we get are these, and they are nasty. If I get a call for these, I need a full team of eight to take them down, and that’s getting harder and harder to justify the expenses for.”

The photograph he shows me is of a deer, looking perfectly ordinary, with a full head of antlers that any game hunter would kill to mount on their wall. He flips the page, and there are a series of photographs that seem to be taken in rapid succession; the deer looks at the camera, the deer is running towards the camera - and the final one, incredibly blurred and overexposed, shows the deer lunging forwards, mouth stretched wide, with teeth far sharper than any deer need.

It’s hard to know what to say in the face of such a sight. I didn’t have it in me to ask if the photographer made it out alive; if that deer was one of the bigger ones, then anyone would have a hard time beating it in a run.

“If we weren’t needed, we’d have been closed already,” the former Sergeant tells me quietly as he takes the binder back. Looking at the shelves, I noticed that it’s not the only binder, and each are numbered, 1 to 12. “Folks think we’re not needed because we’re good at what we do, but we’re a victim of our own success. If we’re there to deal with a breach successfully so nobody gets hurt, you all wonder what the point of us is. If we’re not there quick enough and someone does get hurt, you wonder what you’re even paying us for.”

His point is a sobering one - they’d likely be closed down far quicker if random civilians lost their lives on a regular basis. The fact that they’re still operational, albeit at a greatly reduced capacity, is living proof to how essential they are - and nothing short of a miracle that there haven’t already been casualties as a result of the reduced funding. For the time being, we should be grateful that IRON are there to keep things like this from getting in, so we can all sleep a little safer at night.

--

[missnight0wl]

Hello, happy New Year and hope you're well!

I was re-reading the post about the MC possibly having been conceived out of wedlock, and my gears got turning, and here's an idea for you:

I absolutely agree that it feels like Perry is talking about a fling rather than an actual marriage, but that kind of relationship usually lasts for what, a year at most? Certainly not enough to have more than one child, and with a considerable age gap (6-10 years) at that. Plus, if we assume that the MC and Jacob are unreliable narrators (Perry is spoon-feeding them his convenient version of their childhood), there's no reason to take the 'Dad was a decent father before he abandoned us' narrative seriously.

With this I present you: what if Jacob and MC are half-siblings?

The circumstances of Jacob's conceiving are irrelevant, but Perry found out about the Mum's connection with the Vaults that you theorised about, and decided to have a child with her (MC) to be used as a pawn at a later date.

Forgive the long ask; what do you think?

Happy New Year! I hope you’re well too!

Also, there’s no need to apologise for longer asks!

You know, I believe the idea of MC and Jacob being half-siblings existed in the fandom for quite a long time, although it was more of the headcanon territory than a theory. Well, we didn’t have much information then to create a theory. But truth be told, even though we know more now… I think we still don’t know enough to either call it a solid theory or debunk it.

Alright, I’m thinking that there are two things we have to consider here:

Peregrine’s last name,

Legilimecy.

I talked about the last name already in the previous post you mentioned, and as I said then, it’s rather hard to say whether Peregrine is indeed called “Peregrine Lastname”. Admittedly, this is not a big issue. I mean, if Peregrine’s last name is different, then it means that both siblings have their mother’s last name. And if Peregrine is named “Peregrine Lastname”, then Jacob might’ve taken Peregrine’s last name later on. To be fair, I do think it’d be more likely for Jacob to do that (as a child from the previous relationship) if the Mother got married to Peregrine. But I suppose it’s not entirely impossible either way.

Now, I think that there’s a bigger problem with Legilimency. Because since both siblings are born Legilimenses and it is such a rare skill, we’d have to assume that they inherited it after their mother, in my opinion. And again, it’s not impossible. However, there’s basically nothing to even hint at it. Peregrine, on the other hand, might be indeed suspected of being a Legilimens based on what we saw in the game so far. I talked about this possibility in this post. On top of that, a while ago, I was asked about how Peregrine knows about Chiara’s secret, and I replied then that he probably simply spied on our friends (full answer here). But since then I also saw some discussions in the fandom that it might’ve been a hint about Peregrine’s Legilimency (if he used Legilimency on Chiara). So… I guess that there is a small chance that both Peregrine and the Mother are Legilimenses? And that’s why MC is apparently more powerful than Jacob? Still, Legilimency is supposed to be a rare skill, especially if it’s natural, so… I don’t know.

That being said, I do think that you made a good point about MC and Jacob being unreliable narrators. And that’s actually what made me think of the third option: what if Peregrine left the Mother twice? In fact, I believe that it could explain why there’s such a big age difference between MC and Jacob – their parents simply weren’t together in that time.

Let’s say that Peregrine left for the first time when Jacob was a couple of years old, for whatever reason. Maybe he already knew that Jacob can’t fulfil the prophecy (if there is any), or maybe he learnt about the prophecy only when he was gone for the first time. Then, he returned to the Mother to potentially make another attempt at fulfilling the prophecy. And she might’ve accepted him back, with or without marriage, because: 1) she might’ve still had feelings for him, 2) he was Jacob’s father after all and it’s not uncommon for people to stay in an unhappy relationship “for children’s sake”, 3) MC was born just a couple of years after the war started and I imagine it wasn’t the greatest time to be a single mother.

But yeah! Overall, I think that there are simply too many unknown factors which could be interpreted one way or another to say anything for sure.

[leggigoesabroad]

we pick up at Mahali Mzuri, for our afternoon game drive. Spoiler, this one was EPIC. At this point we’ve been on a fair number of game drives, so we can’t expect all of them to have something super special and exciting. The “normal” crew you see pretty much every time are zebra, impala, gazelle, buffalo of some kind, etc. Very often, giraffes (which I actually never tire of - they’re all so stunning in their own way and I’m obsessed with their markings and watching them walk/amble.) But the more rare sightings can’t be an every day occurrence. We had been bombing around the Mara a little bit and not seeing too much, and the sun was going to set fairly soon so I figured we’d head back. We came across some jackals fighting over a baby gazelle (😭) and then hyenas, both of which were new for me, so that was cool - and then Betty turned a corner and we came upon a clearing I between some bushes, sort of like a protected circle, of FOURTEEN SLEEPING LIONS. Four big males, some adult females, and maybe about five cubs. The cubs weren’t brand new, but not fully teenagers either - probably like the size of a medium dog, maybe 40-50 pounds. It was… magical. Twelve out of the 14 were passed out asleep, and two of the cubs were NOT TIRED! And wanted to PLAY! They kept wrestling with each other, or going over to jump on their sleeping dads (straight out of Lion King) and the males would wake up and gently ROAR “no, you’re annoying, stop” just enough to scare the cubs into going elsewhere. Watching these cubs tackle each other, balance all four paws on their dad’s big bellies, bite the big manes, plan their attacks and creep up as a game… I will never forget it. It goes under the list I’m keeping of “soul rearrangements” which I credit to my colleague, Erica, who went on her first safari last year and said that after the sunrise over the Maasai Mara while ballooning, she felt her soul had simply been rearranged. It’s a poetic way to describe a complicated feeling: gratitude, stillness, incredulity, you name it. The other vehicles started pulling away, but we stayed until the very last second, when it was officially dark and we had to go. I could have watched them all for hours. I often get a little bored at animal sightings, like ready to move on once I’ve seen it, but with these lions I was the absolute last one wanting to go.

We had an early bedtime because the next morning was a 4:30 am departure time for hot air ballooning in the Maasai Mara. WHEW. somehow, I had no anxiety dreams about oversleeping, and I fell perfectly asleep around 9:45 pm so kind of got a good night’s sleep. Woke up to the hippos and the hyraxes absolutely mooing and screeching away, and popped out of bed. We left at 4:30 and drove about an hour ish to the balloon launch site, across EXTRA bumpy roads. These types of roads are a weird combination of lulling you to sleep, while also not being quite comfortable enough to ever rest. The vehicles are as comfortable as you can get, but there’s not a great place to rest feet/heads/etc. Just when I was getting super over it (and in the pitch black) we pulled up to the large clearing, where several balloons were being fired up and the sun was slowly starting to rise. Probably about 25 total people there from all different safari companies, which I’m told is dead quiet compared to peak season. Krista and I were put in a balloon with about 7 other people. The balloon is divided into five compartments: one rectangle down the middle for the pilot only, underneath his controls; then four squares aligning with the four corners of the balloon basket, separated by thick wicker. You get in on your back, crawling in with the basket on its side, and laying down facing up, in each compartment. A little awkward, but you have to start that way so they can tilt the balloon and basket up once it’s fully inflated and ready to go. There’s a whole team of guys assisting the pilot and manning the balloon strings on the outside until it’s time to let us go. Then… up up and away! I wasn’t scared at all, like I thought I would be. We really don’t go THAT high up, and it’s very slow and gentle. They only balloon in a very calm, flat place of the Mara, so there are no trees or power lines or any obstacles. They say they can’t control WHERE you go, just the altitude and the general direction depending on the wind. All the balloons went roughly the same way and we flew for about an hour before landing. As promised, it was stunning. Just a million colors of the sunrise, paired with the vast panorama of the entire Maasai Mara stretched before us. Almost no sounds to be heard, other than the whooshing of the hot air gas being intermittently pushed into the balloon, and the birds. I spent most of the ride just resting my chin on my arms, on my corner of the balloon, taking it in. Like an hour-long, peaceful meditation. Landing went well, and then our driver picked us up to take us to the hot breakfast site that was being prepared for us and the others with the same balloon company.

We pulled up and were immediately served mimosas, and directed to our white linen tables as the crew finished all the breakfast prep. It was a buffet, with hot items made to order. They even had two pop up bathrooms with a tent around the toilets - called “loo with a view”. I sat next to the other people in my balloon, and the guy next to me introduced himself as Ahad and asked where I was from. I said Denver, and he was too! He lives right next to my old apartment in Five Points and we had much to talk about. He also runs a company that consults for management and employees and teaches them how to improve culture. I was like, were you planted here to marry me?? TBD if I think he’s cute or realistic but we definitely aligned in all the personality ways, so we’ll see when we get home. I also chatted forever with a girl from the nearby town, Norah, who was there because her sister is married to the guy who owns the balloon company. She’s 23 and I loved her. She doesn’t want to stay in her village and get married, she wants to move to NEW YORK CITY! I was thisclose to just asking for her routing number. She gave me her Instagram name to follow her but I didn’t have service, and when I went to look it up after, it didn’t work. Either she fake-numbered me or there was some kind of issue and I’m Very Sad about it, because we bonded hard. I even did like an hour of investigative journalism that night to try to get to the bottom of it using what I knew of her sister and the balloon company, but no dice. I’ll probably just hire a private investigator when I get home.

After all of this, it was only like 9:15 am. I had been up for almost 6 hours and had done so much already! Wesley and our balloon driver, Carol, drove us over to another area of the park when we were done, because they had heard there was a cheetah sighting. We did end up finding the mama in the distance, but she kept moving around and we couldn’t get too close, and didn’t want to stress her out. She was separated from her cubs but within eyesight of them, and we looked at them through binoculars. We turned around to leave, and then came right across the mama, 10 feet in front of us. Killed the engine and sat quietly just observing her massive, sleek, majestic form. She made a sound calling out for her cubs, and the four of them came sprinting over to her, and all five paused right in front of us. I still can’t believe it, even typing this. There are only 25 cheetahs left in the entirety of the Maasai Mara, and five of them stood within 10 feet of us. I wanted to cry. They slowly ran away, and we all sat there dumbstruck. Two days, two unbelievably beautiful big cat moments, with incredible luck, just served up for us. As soon as that happened, I felt like I could go home if I had to. No one could possibly stay this lucky. We got home and rested the rest of the day, and I got a massage and read by the pool. I feel strongly that rest and reflection are equally important parts of safari as the actual experiences themselves. It’s like meditating - you need to live life, then experience stillness. Too much of either won’t help, as they’re a precious balance.

[ozma914]

The Real First Thanksgiving, More Or Less

 Thanksgiving in America continues to be one of the most traditional holidays. It still features the original four hundred year old activities of overeating, football, and complaining about Black Friday. In the Hunter household, as in all of Indiana and much of the world that’s not outside this country, we battle the overeating. How? By serving food that the rest of the year we hate. Stuffing stuff. Cranberry things. Pumpkin anything. It was good enough for the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag Indians, who the Pilgrims politely invited to share a meal in the new home they’d just stolen from the Wampanoag. The Indians brought a housewarming gift of deer, mostly because they didn’t want to eat cranberries or pumpkin. But what was actually served at that original celebration? And did they really all sit down at long tables outside, in New England, in November? That’s a recipe for a nice heaping helping of frostbite. The first Thanksgiving was a three day event, leaving one day each for the meal, football, and shopping. The Pilgrims were naturally dismayed to discover no mall or Wal-Mart in sight. Rumor had it there was a Target down the road, but both the trip and the name were a bit more dangerous at the time. They compensated by throwing another feast that third day, during which they discussed the football.

Roadside food was different, back then.

Governor William Bradford sent four men on a fowling mission beforehand. We don’t know for sure what they brought back, but it might have been turkey. It also might have been ducks, geese, or swans, which explains the song they invented about the meal and the entertainment. If it hadn’t taken so much time to memorize it, the song would have been “The Twelve Days of Thanksgiving”. That would have turned our holiday world upside down. Why are game birds called “fowl”? Because they had no refrigeration. It was a warning: “Eat it fast, before it’s fowl!”

On a related note, this has carried over into football, which during the first Thanksgiving was so primitive it was watched on a black and white TV, with no remote control, or blimp. Whenever a player gets caught doing something that stinks, it’s called a foul. The spelling was changed during the Great Depression, when a letter shortage caused double U’s to be singled.             There was indeed an abundance of cranberries at the First Thanksgiving, mostly because the Natives used them as dye. (Good dye, although it tended to run in the washing machine.) By then the Pilgrims had run out of sugar, so there was no cranberry sauce or relish or anything cranberry. That’s one of the things they were thankful for. Potatoes were … absent. The Spanish had discovered them in South America, but they weren’t popular with the English yet. Instead they probably had seafood—lobster, clams, oysters, all that stuff you find on the Thanksgiving menu today. Actually, these days the closest we get to that is either oyster dressing, or “see? Food!” Pumpkin? Absolutely: in their pie, their coffee, donuts, milkshakes … kidding—Starbucks didn’t deliver. They did have pumpkins, but no butter or flour for any kind of crust. They may have hollowed out the pumpkins, filled the shell with milk, honey, and spices, and roasted them in hot ashes. I’m not making this up. I get paid to do this research.

I'm celebrating as fast as I can!

I’m sure you’re all wondering what kind of beer they washed all this down with. I mean, Sam Adams, right? That’s the state beverage of Massachusetts. But no, it turns out they hadn’t had time to make beer, and didn’t yet have apples for cider, so they drank water. This helps explain all those Pilgrim paintings with dour expressions. Add this to native foods like plums, grapes, leeks, and squash, and you get … *gasp* … a meal that’s good for you! It turns out health food nuts aren’t a new thing; it’s just that back then it was involuntary. Interestingly, I found no reference from historical records about stuffing being served at the first Thanksgiving. I suspect the Pilgrims planned it, until the Wampanoag heard about the idea: “So, once we get the birds ready, we’ll mix old bread crumbs and tasteless vegetables together, throw a bunch of spices on them, and stuff them up the fowl butt. Instant side dish!” “Um … we’ll just take our smallpox blankets and go.” Imagine how they reacted to fruitcake.

 I would be personally grateful if you made my black Friday green.

 Find our books at:

http://markrhunter.com/ https://www.amazon.com/-/e/B0058CL6OO https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/"Mark R Hunter"

[absolutepokemontrash]

What about them reacting to a MC that's the complete opposite of them with the bros? (Sorry if you've done this already!!)

No! I haven’t done something like this yet! Please enjoy!

Lucifer Vs. Humility in Human Form

…this human is driving him up the wall and they haven’t even done anything wrong.

They have such a low view of their own importance, which can be seen as a pretty shitty thing but they- this fucking human-

They admit their mistakes, they’re willing to learn, they keep an open mind, CAN THEY JUST STOP. THEY’RE MAKING LUCIFER LOOK BAD!

Ugh… now they’re offering to help with his paperwork… sure human. Help him out.

Tsk, as annoying as this human is, they should at least have a little confidence in themselves. They do good work. Like geez… take some amount of pride in what they do, it’s not like it’d kill them.

Mammon vs. The Person He’s Gradually Squeezing Money Out of but he Feels Real Bad About It

Huh, so the stupid human’s going to buy him lunch? Good! He deserves it after he spent all that time lookin’ after them! And they’re gonna get him new sunglasses? Awesome!

The human is Mammon’s second wallet, and our favourite greedy demon is milking for all it’s worth.

…he feels kinda bad to be honest… just a smidge! Not ‘cause he likes the human or nothin’ it’s just that… uh… ONLY HE GETS TO USE THEM AS A WALKING ATM! THAT’S WHY!

Phew… crisis averted…

But yea, Mammon gets very nervous about people taking advantage of his MC, so it gradually gets him to slightly ease up on the “HUMAN! BUY ME THIS!”

Levi vs. Human with Good Vibes

…how is the human not self conscious about… anything???? Like, Levi could absolutely pwn them in any game and they’d just shrug it off and congratulate him!

HAEEEEH? No jealousy?! No desperate need to be the best?! No envy?! …man…

MC just has immaculate vibes and works to better themselves. They keep trying to tell Levi that there’s always going to be someone better than him at something, and that he should just enjoy what he’s doing.

It doesn’t help that MC goes outside, and exercises, and does… NOT Otaku things!

Does not compute. Does not compute. Computational overload-

It doesn’t stop MC though, they work tirelessly to try and help Levi understand his own self worth and defeat his envy. They uh… have their work cut out for them…

Satan vs. “Calm down, relaxation, chill out, stop screaming.”

This human just doesn’t seem to get angry… they have a god-like level of patience. At first Satan just thought he was overestimating how angry a human could get, but in reality MC was just very very calm.

They weren’t one for book reading either, which irked Satan a little, but it wasn’t a friendship dealbreaker.

MC’s very open with who they really are, they don’t hide anything behind fake smiles and pretty words. As we know, that’s not exactly Satan’s thing, but he can respect MC for being like that.

Satan and MC just vibe together in the same room. MC themselves is a calming figure.

Asmodeus vs. Dense, Chaste, and Afraid

My oh my~ what a cute little human. Asmo immediately got his flirt on, but this human was just so… dense???? They got NONE of the innuendos Asmo was spewing.

The human was so awkward too, nothing like Mr. Social Butterfly Asmodeus. He couldn’t go out with them without them looking like they were going to spontaneously combust!

At one point, Asmo got so frustrated that MC didn’t seem to be understanding his flirting, he straight up asked to have sex with MC.

“MC, babe, would you like to commence coitus? I am incredibly attracted to you, and I enjoy your company.” “Oh! Uh… I didn’t know you felt that way about me Asmo…” “H O W?!”

Beelzebub vs. “No, I’m good! I’m not hungry!”

Is MC… not hungry? :( are they sick? That’s so sad omg-

MC is expressive, Beel has RBF, MC is as prickly as a cactus, Beel is a teddy bear. Don’t worry, Beel will still hug cactusy MC :D

MC’s also quite lazy too, Beel doesn’t particularly mind, he’s already used to helping out Belphie.

Belphegor vs. “Jesus Fucking Christ do You Ever Sleep?!”

Human. Human no. Human stop. Stop moving just sit the fuck down.

Belphie gets tired just looking at MC work, they do all their chores with a sweet smile on their face too. Man… this human is way too perky while doing ugh, work.

MC is very open with their emotions, unlike Belphie, who stews angrily and can hold a grudge like no other.

It’s hard for demons to change, but maybe Belphie could learn some things from MC. Please. PLEASE learn something from MC Belphie we’re begging you here!

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I really ran out of ideas with this one… sorry guys :/