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#we were supposed to get 4!!!! more!!!!!! seasons!!!!!!
writerownstory · 7 months
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most of the time I’ve accepted the (cruel) fact that there will not be any more JATP, but sometimes I watch or think about it too much and I get so annoyed that Netflix really cut this show short.
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spacedlexi · 1 year
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it honestly frustrates me when i see people reduce the ericsons cast down to "just some teens in the woods" acting like theyre no different than any other group of lone teenagers from other existing properties and treating them like an overused trope
it is sooo important to acknowledge the "troubled youth" aspect of the whole equation. theyre not just some random teens in the woods clem stumbles across. these kids were abandoned by their families for their various "difficulties" and fucked up by The System before the outbreak even began. and then once zombies started roaming the streets their familes never came back for them and the adults that were in charge of taking care of them just left them there to rot in that old boarding school (except for ms martin who was like their lee 🥺 the only person who ever saw them as the scared traumatized kids they were and died protecting them)
the whole aspect of them already being fucked up by the adults that controlled their lives is like.....kind of important when discussing the whole "delta is stealing kids to force them to fight in a war they have no real part in and want nothing to do with" aspect of the season. and its important when comparing them to clem and her journey of also suffering at the hands of the adults around her forcing her to become self reliant. AND its important when discussing the "just trying to build a safe home (and future) worth fighting for in this world that wants them dead" aspect of the season as well
these kids were forced to come together to survive. and a Lot of them didnt... theyre the only family they have left and you can tell that even when they argue with each other theyre still a close knit group who looks out for each other. theyre a Real family before clem even gets there (and its why what really happened with the twins and brody and marlon hits them all so especially hard)
all of this is what REALLY makes ericsons such a perfect home for clem. its a Real community of her True peers. theyre not Just teens. they mightve had a layer of safety clem never had by at least having walls to keep them safe. and having the benefit of the school being hard to find. its the only reason theyre still alive when clem shows up. but theyre also some of the only people who can Truly understand where clem and aj are coming from. and its why it hurts so much when they vote to kick them out. but its also partially why she merges back into the fold so easily when she returns. plus the fact that shes Really the only one who has any idea what shes doing. shes their rock and she makes them feel safe because underneath it all theyre still just those scared traumatized kids ("EVERYONE is scared, clem..." vi was Definitely including herself in that 'everyone'), and on some level, so is clem
they saved clementines life. and she saved theirs. "the school was supposed to help them with their trauma, now they help each other" its about the LOVE the COMMUNITY the SUPPORT!!!! and thats the shit that makes good zombie media honestly 👌
#it speaks#twdg#there i go again writing another essay but i will Always defend the ericson cast theyre one of the strongest out of all 4 seasons#complaints ive seen about s4 typically include mentions of the teens as a trope being overused and im like.......did you even pay attention#the fact they were branded “troubled youth” and basically thrown away by everyone who was supposed to take care of them is SO IMPORTANT#these kids are Fucked Up but theyre Trying to make a kinder world#nobody talk to me i fucking love the ericson cast 😭😭😭 theres not a single one of them i dont like im serious#them using poor pilgrim of sorrow in ep3....ericsons is heaven to clem 😭 all the comments she can make about feeling safe there 😭😭#clem being everyones rock but violet being clems rock back 🥺😭💕 waaaaahhh thats why it was over for me when vi stood up for them in ep 2#vi having the courage to stand up to her group for aj........... yeah she had me in a vice grip after that. she fought for them so hard#and if it wasnt for her advocating so hard for them to stay they ALL would have been taken or killed#vi cared about clem so much she undoomed them all#and aj loved clem so much he undoomed her :')#s4 is just the perfect ending to clems story truly itll make me happy for the rest of my life im so happy for u clem 🥺#tfw the media you like gets a good ending and the main characters are respected and it feels like it was made from a place of love#instead of being like...actively hostile to its fanbase and destroying its own characters for the Laughs#and when i say “good” i dont necessarily mean “happy” i just mean “competently written"#i wouldnt call it perfect but it survived both a cancellation AND the financial collapse of a major game studio. its perfect to Me#for what it is (and what it originally almost was with the clems house plot) we truly lucked out so fucking hard#truly a return to form of season 1 but with less despair and more hope which i appreciate :')#all the things ive liked over the years that were destroyed for me by bad or weird writing decisions... clutches onto twdg like a lifeboat#god i love s4 so much nothing has ever been More Specifically Written For Me Personally
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I don't get what's so hard to understand about "Don't talk about Nancy or Steve or NancySteve you don't have the proper clearance" like how many times must I say it!!!
#I am so sick of these bad takes#why do you have to hate on one to justify loving the other???#They're both great!!!#Season 4 did Steve so dirty I know you guys think we Steve fans were being serviced NO#NO WE WERE NOT#If I hear one more mention of the Chicken Nuggets I am going to KMS#Like yes it's ugh#but also like it's not as simple or one dimensional of a story as you guys think#but also it's soooo stupid#and I think that Steve really did let go of Nancy back in season 2#that was supposed to be it#like there was no hint of steve getting back with nancy or anything it was final the shooting the acting the script#everything sounded like it was closing the doors on that arc#and haters are saying that they brought Stancy back because they had nothing interesting going on with Steve's character#???#ARE YOU GOOD#How about deal with how he avoids all his trauma or how he got TORTURED???#You can go on more about his life in highschool post season 1 and season 2#yes Steve did become more popular over the years but that's for a reason#and fucking steve fans I have so much to say to you too#STFU#Like stop hating on other characters or bringing in steve everywhere bro stfu#like idk my community of steve fans are chill and hot and have the best takes but some of the ones I've seen#like get a hold of yourselves#I have nothing to say to Nancy haters they're just ugly#Sorry guys I was feeling hateful#Will probably post a screenshot of all this bc these tags are salacious#rem does stuff and panics#stranger things#steve harrington
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1980ssunflower · 2 years
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bwahh miss eddie tbh
#f/o:🔥jump in the fire🤘#tape entry circa 1980#id like to draw stuff of us together again but DRAWING kinda sucks tbh hfdsjk#idk was thinking abt eddie convincing me to play dnd w him and him making me a tee that says 'babies first dnd session' on it HFDJSK#was thinking a bit on our lore too#i havent thought on it very hard or anything but the gist of it i decided on since like i first started liking eddie was like#we were childhood friends but i kinda abandoned him for popularity but we're not like enemies now we're just distant#in season 1+2 my s/i has a more posh look to him to fit in w the popular crowd w like hints of his actual style#(which is just my irl hair metal look // which my parents just said recently they thought my eddie keychain was supposed to be me lol)#post highschool he starts leaning more into that style and is more himself!#hes best friends w steve and works w him and robin at scoops ahooy + the video rental place too#in terms of show accuracy i guess he'd only start getting close to eddie again during season 4#and 1000% that motherfucker isnt dying cause i will SAVE HIM#ALSO my s/i uses my irl guitar which is a black les paul w the fret inlays being bats!#so because of that tbh i think eddie got his tattoo to match w me 👍#(since i have the same tattoo lol)#oh and liike i might as well sayy#fairly recently i dreamt of eddie again but didnt want to say anything w how very romantic it was#its funny that every time eddie is in my dreams its always romantic#but we got away from the group to explore something we saw in the distance#and i just remember linking pinkies together and eventually holding hands and how my heart fluttered from that especially#idk why hand holding feels so special w us#but you know whats INSANE#i KISSED him we KISSED#i have NEVER kissed any f/o EVER in my dreams and EDDIE had to fucking be my first f/o dream kiss INSTEAD OF MY HUSBANDS GHDFSJK#UNIVERSEEE IVE BEEN W MY HUSBANDS FOR YEARS NOW CANT YOU PLEASE LET ME KISS THEM FOR THE LOVE OF GODDD HDFSJKL
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nomairuins · 15 days
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thank GODDD the doctor is taking time to work on himself maybe now he can stop ruining womens lives .
#mildly joke but im so excited those specials were so fun...#we watched all the 14th dr specials bc Major donna fan ohh my god they were fun i liked them....#i worry im like. being unfair somehow. but i loved like..some of the things with 13 i just likee. the writing it was..off to me... sigh. i#rly wish her seasons had better writers i suppose. BUT. im excited bc my mom told me 15s run is super good so far#i cant believe im almost caught up wndr who. a crazy world i live in. i suppose next me and my mom will have to huddle around an old timey#radio like max n ruby to listen to the audio dramas#and then wencan read bedtime stories to eachother or something#Or of course i could just track down the old series. KDNFJFN. but the computer always its a commodity...#but ya. those were funn i rly liked the like. 2 of them had a bit of body horror like. mild babys first body horror. but i liked it. and#they were funnyyy god i missed donna so bad the show is SO funny with her there. the chemistry w her and 10nis just chefs kiss. loves it#i feel bad bc i liked the like. Suggested personalities of the last companions but they felt kind of lackluster in practice ? like..it felt#like we were told how they were but in practice they kind of just. were there. and then would react to the dr. and then were judt there#idk... i wish they had been more like. fleshed out one supposes#it rly to me feels like they spent 13s seasons kind of just farting around and then covid hit and they were like Fuck now we have to like.#avtually write a plot#flux was like. i think you can do a storyline w like. a bunch of different plotlines that all ties up but it was confusing#😭😭 it ws like. ig rhe most engaged i was w/ 13 but thats just bc stuff was being thrown at me constantly...#but ya. its rly nice to see donna again after having a bunch of companions who just didnt feel like they got their time to shine. in my eyes#bc donna feels so well written and real and like. believable to me. like it feels like shes an active member instead of like. just standing#around and then having her alloted 4 minute emotional conversation before jumping back into action. yk#also i literally said as soon as the bigeneration happens Oh rhis is good 14 can judt go be a weird uncle. ajd then he literally did#so funny tho that rose and donna get their own tennant doctors and then my best friend martha is just chopped liver ig.#good for her tho. that man needs to stay away from her (joke)#but ya. YAY. intrigued by nailpolish woman its also fun bc weve gotten to the point where my mom has only watched the episodes once#so she knows less and its more fresh for her#which is rly fun. im a little worried about umm. when were fully caught up#bc i believe my mom and dad watch the eps together#and like. yk. much love to my dad but like. idk me and my mom have a specific sort of banter when we watch and like. he sits in sometimes#and i tend to just go silent 😭😭😭#its like. not a conscious thing i just. yk. i have trouble being Relaxed when theyre in the same room together
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WE WATCHED HIGHSPEED ETOILE EPISODE 11... DAMN QUEEN IS GETTING HER ASS KICKED WHILE KING'S IS SQUEAKY CLEAN... AT THE SAME TIME THAT MIGHT BE THEY'RE GOING TO PULL SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO HER CHARACTER NEXT EPISODE... AND SHE MIGHT END UP MORE COMPLEX AND INTERESTING THAN THE KING IS... BTW HER REACTION TO RIN PASSING HER IS VERY CUTE AND FUNNY... COULD THIS BE... WLW X CAR RACE ATTRACTION PARAPHILIA REPRESENTATION...?!?! THAT WOULD BE FLAMES... INFACT I ALREADY DECIDED THIS... IF THERE'LL BE MORE SEASONS THERE COULD BE ALOT MORE SUCH CONTENT TBH... FIRE TO BE HONEST... SPY KYOUSHITSU GOT MUCH BETTER WITH SEASON 2... COULD THIS BE JUST ANOTHER SLOW STARTING BANGER...? COULD BE COULD BE... THEN... ALL THOSE OTHER SERIES COULD BE THE SAME... ALL OF THEM TBH... THAT WOULD BE FLAMES TBH...
#Highspeed Etoile Badass Fire Amazing Awesome Woke Progressive Anime Writing Manga Interesting Cute Funny Autism Adhd Paraphilia Love Woman#Trans Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Special Extreme Radical Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Mother Goddess#Angel Sisters Princess Lovable Hilarious Crazy Fascinating Touch Me Touch Me Hello Funny Mommy Kisskisskiss Smoochkiss 😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰🥰...#QUEEN X RIN IS BADASS... ASWELL AS WHAT THEY ADDED TO GET BACKSTORY SHE USED TO CARE ABOUT BORING LAME DANCING... UNTIL SHE STARTED DOING#BADASS CARS... EVOLVING THIS GENERIC CHARACTERIZATION... UNLESS THEY DO MORE EVIL PROPAGANDA 😮... HER FRIENDS MEANWHILE... HAVEN'T DONE A#THING... I FIND THIS FUNNY BUT THAT IS OKAY THE QUEEN AND KING ASWELL ARE MORE RELEVANT MEANING WHATEVER THE FUTURE TBH COULD BE ALOT...#THAT WILL BE BETTER... AND THESE GENERIC CHARACTERS THEY CAN... TRAIN OFFSCREEN. OR FOR AN EPISODE. THAT'S THE TYPE THEY ARE. NOTHING WOULD#BE LOST. LAST SEASON WE WATCHED LOOP 7 PON NO MICHI (THAT SUCKED OMG) MAJO TO YAJUU AND LEVEL 98 VILLAINESS... THAT WAS 4... NOW IS 3... BU#FEELS LIKE LESS... BECAUSE MY HERO IS ASS AND ISN'T NEW... BTW THE CARS HERE ARE SO COOL... REMOVE THE POINT OF WINNING AND THEY CAN BE#DEEPLY INTERESTING... BOUSHOKU NO BERSERK WAS FIRE... ALL THESE SERIES MIGHT GET BETTER IN SEASON 2... EVEN PON NO BLURGH... SPY KYOUSHITSU#SEASON 3 WILL BE FIRE ASWELL I SUDDENLY FEEL LIKE... MAKE US TRANSITION BEFORE ALL THIS HAPPENS PLS... QUICK... BEFORE JOJO PART 7 AND#BORUTO PART 2... DON'T YOU DARE MAKE THESE THINGS HARM US ANY MORE... JUST LIKE THEY ALL ALREADY HAVE WHEN THEY FIRST HAPPENED... THINGS WE#LIKE BEFORE WE TRANSITIONED... WE WERE SUPPOSED TO AGES AGO... HORRIBLE... EVIL... CRUEL... DISCRIMINATION... OPPRESSION... EVIL!!!!#Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abuse Bipolar Psychosis Scizophrenia Yandere#Narcissist Psychopath Sociopath Borderline Obsessive Compulsive Avoidant Scizoid Scizotypal Psychotic Delusional Delulu Intelligent Genius#Smart This Is Why We Are Woman We Are Intelligent And Masters Of Every Single Manipulation There Is. Deeply Progressive Feminist Blogging.#Insane Radqueer Posting. Suomi Finland Finnish We Didn't Finish Turn A Gundam... Crazy... That Got Boring Later... Meanwhile Seed Was So#Good... So Much Better Just A Much Better More Emotional Colorfull And Dramatic Aswell As Interesting Turn A... Sad... Isn't That...? Quit#Being From Ancient Clans... Be From Futuristic Robot Cities... “Culture” Is Evil Bigot Propaganda As Is Racism... Like In Unicorn Overlord.#Jojo Part 6 Was So Good. Best Jojo Part 100% Only A Loser Would Cry About Animation... Some Things Are Always Better... How Horrible... Thi#Series Aswell... Has Animation Others Never Will... And Is Perhaps Easier...? Easier Allowing For More... Interesting... Much Better Than#Could've Been Tbh... I Will Anytime Take More Over Looks Good For No Reason... And Things Like One Punch Man Feel Overly Animated If#Anything... Hei Kiva... Anna Meille Trans... Me Olemme Sorrettuja... Kidutettuja... He Jatkuvasti Satuttavat Meitä... Anna Meille Trans...#Me Tarvitsemme Hänet... Hän On Mommy... Kuten On Pelastajamme... Tule Mommy... Tehdään Aivoseksiä... Todella Kiinnostavaa... Kiitos Mommy..#Oihh... Tunnen Sinut!! Kiitos Mommy... Olet Ihana... Kiitos Mommy... 😇... Teidän Täytyy Auttaa... Meihin Sattuu Jokapäivä...#Brainsex Is Funny. Mommy Is Nice To Me... I Feel Her... She Is Kissing My Ear... I Feel Funny!! Yes Mommy Please Mommy!! Ahh!!!! Thank You#Mommy... I Feel So... Insane... Mhuhu 😇... That Was So Nice Of You 😊... Thank You Mommy... You're Wonderfull 🫶🫶!!!! Aishiteru!!#SAY HI TO SPACE YOUR LORD AND SAVIOR SHE WILL KILL YOU SHE WILL KISS YOU... GOOD TIME TO ME: YOU'RE IN <3!! 🔪🔪🔪🔪... Uhuhu <3...#Ihana Kiva Kiltti Kiitos Mommy Aihh... Ahh... Kiltti Mommy... Kiitos Paljon... Pidän Sinusta... Kiitoksia... Niin Haluavatkin 😇... Olet!!#Niin Paljon!! - Kiva Kuulla... Minä Tulen Aina Rakastamaan Sinua... - Aiihh!! Kiitos Mommy!! - Ansaitset Enemmän... Kukavain Sinulle Antaisi
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multifandomfanficss · 15 days
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Don’t Stop My Heart
Tyler Owens x Reader
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Prompt: You and Tyler take a road trip up to Iowa to catch some of the last tornadoes of the season, but he takes the teasing a little too far.
Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, mentions of car crashes, swerving, shitty ex boyfriends. No use of Y/N.
A/N: Hello! I didn’t proofread this one as many times as I usually do. I’m coming off a 4 and a half month writers block so I really just wanted to write and post while I was excited to do it. My job has been draining me as of late, so I’m trying to write when I get the impulse. I have so many Tyler ideas and no time to write them. Crossposted on my AO3 adriansglasses.
It was still fairly early, the sun was still rising. Last night you’d planned an impromptu trip up north to Iowa. It was about a 7 hour trip from Oklahoma, so you were on the road before 6. You were hoping to get there around noon. You didn’t love getting up that early, but Tyler promised he’d drive you and you could sleep in the truck. Tornado season was pretty much over aside from an isolated storm or two, but Iowa had been having very unusual storm activity all week. Tyler couldn’t resist hitting a couple more tornadoes in late August when the season was supposed to be pretty much over with.
You stayed awake for a little bit. You wanted to watch as you crossed into Missouri.
“Missouri welcomes you.” Tyler reads out loud.
“Yes! Finally!” You giggle.
“I didn’t realize you were such a big fan of Missouri.” Tyler comments.
“Oh, I’m not.” You pause, looking out your window.
“First you’re hypin’ her up, now you’re gonna disappoint her.” He jokes.
“I’m sorry, I’m sure Missouri’s fine, but I’m more excited about that.” You point to a Hardee’s down the street.
“Really? We’re crossin’ state lines and you’re gonna make me take you to Hardee’s? You can get Carl’s Jr. anytime you want back home. That’s basically the same thing.” He argues.
“Take that back! You’re just saying that because you’re a Texas boy! You’ve never had the luxury of Hardee’s.” You joke.
“If Carl’s Jr. is better, I’m not letting you pick where we eat for the rest of the trip.” Tyler puts on his turn signal and sighs.
“How is that fair? I’ve never eaten at this location. What if it sucks?” You laugh.
“You picked your Hardee’s hill and now you’re gonna die on it. Now keep your trap closed and tell me what’s good on the menu.” Tyler makes a pretend threatening face towards you as he pulls into the drive thru.
“How am I supposed to not talk and at the same time tell you what’s good?” You tease back.
“Hi welcome to Hardee’s, may I take your order?” The drive thru speaker cuts you off. Tyler shushes you and you giggle.
After getting your food you start unwrapping the straws and putting them in both drinks.
“Whatever score we give this we need to give it extra points to account for how good the curly fries would be if they were serving lunch.” You try to bargain, taking a bite.
“No, you can’t just change the rules after we already got our food, that’s cheating. Just because you’re from the north, doesn’t mean you can cheat me.” He argues. He continues driving, leaving behind the paved roads of the small town.
“You’re acting like I’m Canadian!” You giggle.
“Well, Upper Midwest is basically Canada. There’s literally a town in Iowa called Toronto!” He smirks, taking the last bite of his food, continuing to drive through the middle of nowhere Missouri, back onto the gravel roads through the soybean fields.
“Shut up!” You playfully hit his arm. He jokingly swerves and your stomach flips. You gasp air. “Tyler, knock it off.”
“You’re the one who hit me.” He pleas innocent.
“I didn’t hit you that hard.” You defend.
“I thought you were gonna sleep on the drive.” He says, smirking.
“I might later, I’m not tired.” You answer, falling for his bit. He does a big fake yawn.
“Well if you’re not tired, I might take a little nap.” He lightly swerves again.
“Tyler, this isn’t funny!” You plead.
“What? Oh. Do you mind watching the road? We woke up so early and I’m pretty tired.” He jokes before swerving again. He’s taking the joke way too far. Once was one thing, twice was too much. You start hyperventilating.
“Tyler, STOP!” You yell, tears starting to come to your eyes.
“Woah woah woah, sweetheart, it’s okay. I’m sorry. I’ll stop.” He has a concerned look on his face. He knew he had taken it too far.
“It’s not funny.” You cry.
“You’re right, it’s not funny. I would never-a done it if I’d known it would make you feel unsafe. I do it all the time on chases and that don’t seem to bother you. I didn’t realize-“
“That’s different! The roads and the fields when there’s no storms are different! We’re on an actual road! What- what if there were other people?! What if you hit somebody?! What if a sherif saw?!” You say, obviously still panicking. Tyler decides to pull over.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I was way outta line, but we’re in the middle of nowhere. There’s no cars or tractors around. We’re safe.” His voice is soft. “Just breathe, Darlin’. Just you and me.” He takes your hand, rubbing small circles in it. “I feel bad. I wanted a reaction outta you, but not like this. I never want you to feel unsafe with me.”
“I know.” You were still struggling to breathe. Tyler places your hand on his chest to feel the rise and fall of his breathing. He hopes you can sync yours with his own.
“Take it easy, sweetheart. You’re okay. Feel me breathing? We’re both okay.” He places a kiss to your forehead.
“I’m sorry… it’s not you. When I was in high school I had a crazy ex boyfriend who used to swerve in town just to scare me because he knew I was afraid of car crashes. He almost killed us a couple times, I think. I guess no matter how much time’s passed, dumb high school bullshit still affects me into my adult years.”
“Hey, that’s not okay. It’s not dumb bullshit. It’s trauma.” You lean over the console to be closer to him and he wraps his arms around you. “I would never put you in danger like that for the sake of a joke.” You could tell his blood was boiling on the inside, but he was trying to keep himself calm. He didn’t want to upset you more. He knew this was about you feeling better, not him.
“We gotta get going if we wanna try to make it by 1.” You wipe your tears.
“I don’t care how long we’re pulled over. Hell, we can even turn around if you’re not up to anymore. I don’t care about the chase. I care about you.” He moves your hair out of your face. “I can call the rest of the team and tell them to turn around right now or go without us.”
“What happened to Mr. If You Feel It, Chase It?” You joke, trying to lighten the mood. He looks into your eyes. You don’t know if you’ve ever seen him so serious.
“The only feeling that matters is the one I get when I’m with you.“
Tears start creeping up again. These tears aren’t bad, though.
“Tyler, I’m in love with you.” It just slips out, like the easiest confession you’ve ever made in your life. You both knew there was something there, but neither one of you were willing to say it. It had always been heavy flirting, awkward mornings after cuddling in the only bed left at the motel, a drunk kiss or two.
After a moment of staring in silence Tyler kisses you. Everything happened in slow motion, but in truth it was probably just the adrenaline slowing everything down. Tyler wasted no time in kissing you. It was the quickest decision he’s ever made. You don’t know how long the kiss was. Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough. Nothing would ever be enough. You’d swear off oxygen for the rest of your life if it meant this moment never had to end. You’d been pinning after your best friend for so long and finally the moment was here.
“I’m so glad you said something because you’re one of the best navigators I know and I really didn’t wanna risk losing you from the team by telling you I was in love with you.” Tyler laughs.
“Is that the only reason you didn’t tell me?” You ask.
“No, I was scared. Losing you from the team would be a bummer, but I couldn’t lose you from my life. We see a lot of loss in this business. Whenever I thought about it, the thing I couldn’t stand to lose most was you.” He runs his fingers through your hair, moving to cup your cheek.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
It was nice to finally say it. You’d waited a long time to tell him.
“Let’s get back on the road. This time just don’t stop my heart.” You give a small laugh.
“You’re safe with me.”
“I know. You’re not like those other guys, Ty.”
You hold hands and rest on his other arm as he drives. He’s lucky he’s good at driving with one hand because he’s happy to see about 30 minutes later you’ve finally fallen asleep. Today was going to be a long day, but Tyler knew forcing the team to wake up so early was worth it. He may have had to bribe Boone 20 bucks to drive the other car up with Lily, but at least he didn’t have a third wheel sitting in the back seat. Tyler didn’t get a lot of alone time with you. Now he had 7 hours of it. It was worth it.
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simjaexy · 2 months
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Wanting You
Pairing: Popular Boy! Lee Heeseung x Fem! Reader
Synopsis: Heeseungs the star quarterback, leading the football team to victory every season. With his natural charisma and leadership skills, Heeseung is adored by fans and respected by teammates. Off the field, he's be known for his genuine kindness and approachable flirty nature, but that comes crashing down when you don’t acknowledge him.
Genre: Smut
Warnings: MINORS DNI!!, Breeding Kink, Choking, Mean Dom! Heeseung x Sub! Reader, Rough Sex, Semi Public Sex, Grinding, Making Out, Crying
Notes: This is part 4 of Wanting You Series. Sorry for the long wait!! This is the last one! Lmk if you enjoyed the series. ^^
Heeseung was used to turning heads wherever he went. With his striking looks and effortless charm, he had become the heartthrob of the campus.
Girls would giggle and whisper whenever he walked by, and he couldn’t go anywhere without someone trying to catch his eye.
Yet, despite all the attention, there was one person who seemed completely indifferent to his presence – you.
He first noticed you at the campus café. You were always there, sitting in the same corner, completely absorbed in a book. Your hair would fall slightly over your face as you read, and you’d occasionally bite your lip in concentration.
Heeseung found it endearing, and for the first time, he felt a pull towards someone who wasn’t actively seeking his attention.
So when Jake talked about a sudden challenge he wanted to do, who was Heeseung to say no to a little fun?
It all started on a Friday evening, the dorm was unusually quiet which was odd considering how lively Heeseung, Jay, Jake, and Sunghoon were. They all sat around Jays living room, each lost in their thoughts. It was Jake who broke the silence.
"Guys, I have an idea," Jake said, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Let's make a bet."
Jay raised an eyebrow. "A bet? What kind of bet?"
Jake leaned forward, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial voice, "Let's see who can get a girl attention the fastest.
Heeseung chuckled. "And how exactly are we supposed to do that?"
Jake grinned, “Simple. Get a girl we had our eyes on for a while and try to get her attention. The loser has to do everyone's chores for a week."
Sunghoon smirked, "You're on. But don't blame me when I win."
“What girl had you had your eyes on?” Jay asked Jake. Jake shrugged his shoulders as if he didn’t know.
“There is this one girl, she likes books from what I’ve seen.” He replied.
They all went silent for a moment, “Me too. I don’t know her name but I’ve seen her always sticking her nose in a book.” Sunghoon said.
“Are you guys talking about Y/n? Always roaming around with a book, don’t really talk to people.” Jay muttered. They looked over at Jay.
“Woah wait you know her?” Jake said.
“No, but I’ve seen her more than once. I only know her name because she was on the board for rankings in the library.” He deadpanned.
“I didn’t know you look at those.” Heeseung spoke. Jay just shrugged.
“Well then it’s settled. L/n Y/n.” Jake beamed. Heeseung didn’t care what they did.
But he couldn’t deny that you’re pretty.
Now that it was Heeseungs turn he was somewhat calm about it. It wasn’t his first time talking to a girl, so it’ll be pretty easy getting your attention.
Heeseung stood at the center of the football field, the roar of the crowd reverberating through the stadium.
As the star quarterback, he had led his team to victory season after season, his natural charisma and leadership skills making him a legend in campus.
He was popular, adored by fans and respected by teammates. His face was plastered on posters for their high school and his name chanted by thousands.
Yet, despite all the adulation, Heeseung remained grounded, known off the field for his genuine kindness and approachable, flirty nature.
You were unlike anyone Heeseung had ever encountered. While others vied for his attention, you seemed indifferent, almost oblivious to his charm.
It was as if his star power had no effect on you, and that intrigued him. Heeseung found himself drawn to you, wanting to understand why you didn't acknowledge him like everyone else did.
It was another simple day but this time it was a bit different. This time Heeseung actually had to find ways to make you like him.
With his friends already finishing their parts, he had to make this one memorable for you. He noticed you walking with Jay again, both of you laughing at a joke he said.
Heeseung won’t lie and say it didn’t make him upset seeing how close Jay was already with you.
He also noticed Jake’s been more distant with Sunghoon than usual, both of them giving each other the cold shoulder.
As much as he wanted to question, he knew he didn’t have time. Seeing Jay drop you off to your class irked Heeseung to ask Jay a question.
So, he walked towards Jay who was walking towards him too, “Hey Heeseung.” Jay said. Heeseung gave him a smile.
“Hey Jay, quick question. Why are you walking Y/n to her class? You know it’s my turn right?” He responded. Jay gave him a look.
“Yeah, but she’s been feeling out of it you know.” Jay commented.
Heeseung scoffed, “Then how am I supposed have a turn?”
“I’m not saying you don’t have too, I’m just saying just go easy on her. Jake and Sunghoon had some fight over her or something.” Jay muttered the last sentence.
Heeseung grinned, “It’s okay. I’ll go way easier on her than them. Trust me.”
Jay didn’t questioned Heeseung, instead he nodded and walked past him. Heeseung hummed while watching Jay walk away.
Since when did Jay have a soft spot for someone?
One thing Heeseung knew about you was that you were in newspaper class. Which meant he had a chance to talk to you.
He’s seen you snap photos of players at practice, so that’s when he’ll slip his chance.
At first, he tried to win you over with his usual tactics. He would flash his brightest smile, offer his kindest words, and even show off his football skills in front of you.
But nothing seemed to work. You remained unfazed, treating him just like any other person.
This only fueled Heeseung's determination. He was used to getting what he wanted, and he wanted your attention.
On a crisp afternoon, after another victorious game, Heeseung decided to confront you directly. He knew he told Jay that he would go easy on you, but damn did you make him mad that you didn’t give him attention.
He found you sitting at the usual cafe you go too. With a mix of curiosity and frustration, he approached you. "Hey," he said, his voice tinged with a hint of desperation, "You’re Y/n right? The photographer for our sport team?"
You looked up from your papers, “Yeah? That’s me.”
He sat down in front of you, ignoring the fact that you probably wanted to be alone at the moment.
“Is it okay if I can see the photos? I’m a bit picky with mine.” He joked. You didn’t know what to say. He never talked to you about his photos.
Overhearing him once saying that he looks good in any photos to his teammates, he wasn’t lying.
“Why all of a sudden? I mean not that I won’t show you, but you usually don’t care.” You mumbled.
Heeseung smirked, “For a quiet person you sure ask a lot of questions?”
You mentally rolled your eyes and took out your camera. Clicking on buttons to show photos of him.
You showed him photos of himself, he scooted closer to you, examining them.
With him this close you could smell his cologne, a fresh innocent smell mixed with a spicy scent, it smelt comforting.
You didn’t notice that Heeseung was clicking buttons on your camera and grinning to himself.
You stared at him confused before looking down to your camera.
There, in bold letters was Heeseungs name and an album full of his photos. Off and on field. There was no other names besides his.
You snatched the camera away from him, embarrassed, “W-Wait I can explain that-“
Heeseung pushed a strand of you hair back, “I think it explained enough. You seem to like my face huh?” He teased. His voice irked you to bite back, but nothing came out.
Instead you lowered your head in embarrassment.
The truth is you’ve noticed Heeseung for a while now. Yeah you’ve ignored him, but that doesn’t mean you don’t notice him.
You’ve always liked how he was with students and teachers. With him playing football made you have a better chance on talking to him, but never had a chance because you were scared.
Heeseung noticed that you were silent, maybe he went too far? He lowered his head to look at your facial expression.
Your face was still beat red, Heeseung wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t look cute when you’re embarrassed.
“Can I be honest?” Heeseung whispered. You felt his breath on your face, you averted your gaze to him.
“I’ve always thought you were cute when you took photos. A quiet person isn’t really my type, but for you I’d make an acceptation.” He said. Before you could reply you felt a pair of lips pressing against yours.
You gasped and held onto his sweater. He cupped your face, deepening the kiss. You felt his tongue swiping on your lips causing you to snap back to reality.
You pushed him off, gasping for air you grab your camera and stacked your papers.
Rushing, you grabbed your bag, stumbling when getting out of the chair and leaving Heeseung alone in the quiet cafe.
Heeseung watched you scramble away, instead chuckling to himself. Your cherry lipgloss stuck on his lips, he licked them out of habit. You’ll realize soon that he’s better than his friends.
“Is something on your mind?” Jay asked. You both were currently studying together in the library. He insisted on going since you seemed stressed.
While working though, you couldn’t stop thinking about Heeseung, his soft lips on yours made you feel some type of way.
“Uh no I’m fine. Just thinking of something random.” You replied. Jay didn’t believe you, but didn’t question you any further.
He was hoping it wasn’t Jake or Sunghoon, mostly Heeseung. He knew that Heeseung already started his game with you, talking about it to Sunghoon who seemed intrigued.
And since he’s in the bet he has a feeling Heeseung is the problem with your thinking.
You and Jay got close after that incident between you two, he seemed like he wasn’t looking for a whole relationship. It just simply seemed that he wanted to help you get your mind off Jake and Sunghoon.
Although you didn’t know that he didn’t mind being in a relationship with you.
Practice went by faster than Heeseung planned, but he wasn’t complaining. He was though, upset that he did pretty bad in practice.
He took off his gear and put them in his locker. His teammates already left a bit early. Heeseung stayed back to talk with his coach about the upcoming game, but he just shook him off instead.
While taking off his shirt a sudden bang was heard in the locker room. He looked around confused. No one should be in here at this time.
He went to where the noise was and was surprised to see you.
“Y/n? What are you doing here?” He asked. You had a hand on your arm in pain. Heeseung eyebrows furrowed before grabbing your arm revealing blood.
“Shit you’re bleeding. What’d you do?” He said. He picked you up and took you to his locker, taking out an aid kit.
He wrapped a bandage around your arm, your hisses coming here and there.
“Sorry. Your coach told me to tell you that he’ll answer your question tomorrow morning. He just happened to see me leaving the library, thought we both knew each other.” You muttered.
Heeseung didn’t say anything. He out the aid kit back in his locker, shutting it.
“Of course he sent someone to tell me.” He grumbled. You noticed he looked upset and stood up.
“W-Well I should get going. Sorry for the intru-“ You stopped talking when you finally noticed he was shirtless.
You blushed and looked away. Heeseung looked down and forgot he was shirtless.
“Shit sorry, I forgot.” He chuckled. He grabbed a shirt from behind you, putting it on.
You cleared your throat nervously, “Okay. Goodbye Heeseung.” You stated.
You turned around and headed to the door when all of a sudden a hand made contact with the door, slamming it shut.
You gasped when you felt a hand turn your around. Heeseung cupped your face, examining your red face.
“Why do you always get nervous around me Y/n. Is it because you like me?” He whispered the last part in your ear.
What you didn’t expect was for him to smash his lips into yours. You let out a sigh, missing the feelings of his lips on yours.
He slowly lowered his hand to your cloth core, slowly rubbing it in circular motions, you bucked your hips.
Fuck it, Heeseung thought. He was furious with his coach and upset with practice. He mind as well put it on you.
You moaned into the kiss and slowly wrapped your arms around his neck, he slipped his tongue inside and picked you up.
He took you to the benches in the middle of the room. He softly set you down and kissed your jaw.
You breathed out a sigh when he played with your hard nipples through your bra. He unclipped your bra from behind and took it off, your hard nipples were seen through your loose shirt.
He smirked when he prodded on your wet shorts.
“Well aren’t you soaking.” He teased. You whined and bucked your hips, feeling his hard cloth dick rubbing against you.
He gripped your neck and growled, “I didn’t fucking tell you to move.”
You whimpered in pain, staying still. He hummed in content, “Good girl.”
He took off his shorts, but not his boxers. He then took off your shorts with you lifting up your hips, but not your underwear.
Instead he pulled you down right on his dick making you moan loud. He began grinding, groaning with the way your wetness leaked through your underwear.
You felt pleasure course through your body, he wasn’t even inside and yet you feel like you were gonna cum just from this.
You whined when he pulled away, he lift up your shirt, your tits jiggling when released. He sucked on them like a hungry man making your cry out.
He then kissed you harshly and finally took off your sticky underwear. Throwing them wherever.
He rubbed your folds harshly causing you to arch your back. The roughness making your bud hurt.
You try to push his hand away, but he slapped your hand and gripped your neck again.
He took off his boxers with his other hand and finally put his dick in. You let out a silent scream feeling him fill you up.
He bit his lip from your tightness, “There’s no way they didn’t fuck this tight pussy.”
You whimpered when he started moving at a fast pace. The sound of loud skin slapping with Heeseungs balls making contact with your ass.
You let out raspy moans when he lifted your legs up.
“So fucking wet, my god.” he moaned. You threw your head back, nodding at his dirty words.
You suddenly felt that orgasm you needed coming to you, you felt tears in your eyes and stared at Heeseung.
“I-I’m gonna cum Heeseung.” You breathed out. He lowered his face to yours, his face glistening with sweat.
“Gonna cum so soon? This pussy really needed dick huh?” He chuckled. You mewled when he fondled with one of your breast, “Gonna fucking breed this pussy like it’s mine.”
His words his you right where you needed, arching your back as you came on his now even wetter dick.
The squelching noise making you dizzy. He cursed and shut his eyes tightly, feeling his orgasm cumming.
You wrapped your arms around his neck, lowering him, “Cum on my chest, please.” You gasped.
He took out his dick, stroking it over your chest, you gripped your tits roughly, moaning.
That was all he needed to see before his cum spurted all over your chest, some on your face.
You both gasped for air, the locker room hot and dry. He grabbed a towel from his locker and wiped you off. He then wiped himself off.
“Sorry for going rough.” He said. You giggled and out your clothes on.
“You’re lucky I liked it.” You smiled. Heeseung laughed. After you guys got done you both left the locker room.
“Let me drive you home.” Heeseung spoke. You nodded and went to his car.
As you both were in the car, Heeseung suddenly thought of something.
“If you don’t mind me asking, but do you have some unfinished business with Jake?” He suddenly asked. You felt yourself stop breathing. Did all of them know?
You turned over at him, “What do you mean?”
“I saw you, Jay, and Jake talking. Jake seemed pretty stressed. And then I saw you and Jay go upstairs.” He began, “Me and Sunghoon just didn’t wanna interfere in that moment.”
You were speechless. They all knew. You gulped and looked up front, “I-I don’t think I can talk to him. Not after everything.”
Heeseung put his hand on your thigh, “You don’t have too, but I know that Jake likes you. I mean don’t get me wrong, we all do, but we know who you’ll choose at the end.”
You stared at Heeseung. They all had different impacts on you, but you knew that you’d choose Jake also.
So you simply nodded your head, and that was all Heeseung needed to know before starting his car and driving to Jake’s.
The minute you guys made it there you took off your seatbelt and opened the door. Before you left your turned to Heeseung.
“Tell Jay and Sunghoon that I’m sorry. I’m also sorry to you too.” You said. Your voice filled with guilt.
Instead of feeling sad, Heeseung just shook his head in understanding, “Take care of each other yeah?” He said. You smiled and shut the door.
You went up to Jake’s door, feeling nervous and anxious. You rang the doorbell and waited for someone to open the door.
You heard footsteps coming towards the door and finally opened revealing Jake.
His eyes widened in shocked, “Y/n? What are you-“
You didn’t let him finish his sentence and kissed him right there on the spot. He slowly wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing you back.
You broke the kiss, “I love you Jake.”
Jake stared in awe before smiling, “I love you too Y/n. I’m sorry I treated you the way I did. I can explain-“
“Explain later. Right now I just wanna be with you.” You said. He pulled your wrist softly in the house.
You were happy with your choice, you always knew that you wanted Jake.
Bonus
Jake: Get ready to be my maids for a week.
Jay: Damn I thought I was gonna win.
Sunghoon: You still didn’t apologize for punching me so no.
Heeseung: Wait Sunghoon got punched LMFAO-
492 notes · View notes
shadowbriar · 1 month
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Five Hargreeves - Back To You
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Pairing : Five Hargreeves x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 2.8k Warning : Angst. Season 4 references. Synopsis : After one too many subway trips, Five's plan of temporal refuge extended as he met someone he refuse to lose. Notes : I refuse to acknowledge what happened in Episode 5 and 6 though I use the gif of said episodes. Don't come at me if you don't agree. If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕
Living in a small cottage by the lake has never been in his cards. To settle down and watch the sun sets everyday, hearing the rocking chair creak as he takes a sip of his coffee. This was beyond anything he could ever hoped for, anything he could afford. He knew that this wasn’t the life he’s supposed to lead. Lord, this wasn’t even a life he owns to begin with. But with each second passed in this universe, Five finds it hard to drag himself back to that subway and return to his own timeline.
“Enjoying the scenery, are we?” She whispers as she sits on his lap, clinging her arms around his neck “You know, I could really use the help stuffing that chicken. It is afterall your special request.”
The boy raised an eyebrow, “Shouldn’t I be off of any chores since it is my special request?”
“Just because it’s your birthday, doesn’t mean you’re having a vacation, big guy,” She reasoned “We’ve only got two hands and this house is only getting bigger than smaller.”
The boy couldn’t bite his grin when he leaned in to kiss her. His heart swells. She was right. The house feels like it’s growing along with them. They might not have much, certainly far from the wealth his father possesses, but it was much more than enough. Having her was much more than enough.
“You know that I love you, right?” Five asks as he pulls away, his left hand still cupping her cheek as his thumb caresses her gently.
“I know,” She nods, smiling “But you can’t sweet talk your way out of kitchen duty, Mister.”
Five chuckles, standing from his seat as he carried her in his arms, “Alright, Missy, let’s see what this chicken fuss is all about.”
—-
The muscles on his cheeks were aching but he couldn’t fight the need to grin as wide as he could. He was happy, watching her carry that awful looking cake out of the oven. The icing that supposedly spelled ‘happy birthday’ was crooked, its colour pale compared to the bright fondant covering it. Thank God the candles were their only source of light, otherwise she wouldn’t even bring it out, he reckons.
“It’s ugly, I know,” She says as she lets it rest on the table “But it tastes better than it looks, I promise.”
Five shakes his head, disagreeing with her discouraging comments as he steals a kiss, “It’s perfect.”
“Well, go on and make a wish!”
The boy closes his eyes. His hands holding hers as he whispers his wish: I wish for this to last forever. Her squeals of excitement was music to his ears as he blew the candles. It is indeed the best birthday of his life.
“I’d ask but I know you wouldn’t tell me your wish.”
“Who said I made any wish?”
“You did,” She says as she helps him cut the cake “You make that little frown everytime you say your little prayer, do you know that?”
“I don’t pray, Love.”
“You do. Well, not religiously, but sometimes you do. You say your little prayer, your hopes. You whisper them sometimes, but most times you just close your eyes and do that little frown thing.”
Five raised an eyebrow, “Have you been watching me?”
“I might,” She teases “I mean who wouldn’t watch such a handsome man like you?”
The night continues as the couple finishes their dinner. Fulfilled would be such an understatement for what he feels right now. Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever dreamed of, is served right in that room. He wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.
“So can I take a guess about what you wished for?”
“Really, Love?” He asked, putting down his glass of wine.
She shrugs, “We’ve talked about everything else, haven’t we?”
“You know, there’s a belief that if you say your prayers, it won’t happen.”
“Well, you’re not saying what it was, I’m just taking a guess what it’s about.” She argues, still persistent “And what’s so bad with it not happening? Do you really want it that bad?”
“I— Nothing, I just don’t—”
“What is it that you could wish for? What is it that you don’t have?”
“Nothing, I’m not saying that I want anything, I just—”
“Is it your family?”
Five pauses. It was as if he was stupefied. He hadn’t thought about his family in a while. Shameful of him, sure, but after one too many subway trips, he figured that a little rest shouldn’t be so bad. He just had to find a timeline where there weren't that many people shooting at him. Perhaps take a week or two to rest and gather his strength before jumping into another subway.
It just had to be her. The girl he bumped into right after he got out of the station. He remembers vividly the concerned look on her face when she saw him. He was littered with bruises, dirt and dust covering his body. He looked more like trouble than a lover yet she still found it in her heart to ask if he needed any help.
And here he was, feeling the happiness in his heart wither as the thought of his family returned to his consciousness. He knew that the universe is cruel, that he couldn’t have the best of both worlds in this lifetime, that he had to choose between his lover or his family. Some nights he wonders if his family had succeeded in preventing another apocalypse without him. Some nights he wonders if his family had found a way to another timeline. Some nights he wonders if his family were still alive. But most nights he tried his best to ignore these wonders. His family must have found a way to stop the apocalypse, or at least escape another one.
Taking a deep breath, Five reaches for her hands. Guilt and regret were evident on her face. He knew that she didn’t mean to sound as cruel. Perhaps it was the wine that made their blood more sensitive or that the fatigue of the day had clouded their minds. Either way he knew that they both would be sorry when the morning came.
“I love you,” He starts gently “I love you more than anything in this and every timeline.”
A tear left her eye. It was painful. To love someone you know doesn’t belong to you. To desperately grasp into the moments you knew would end anytime soon. To selfishly stay in a relationship that was doom from the start. Neither of them deserved this, yet neither of them wanted to let go.
“It’s been six years, Five,” She reasoned “As much as I love you.. We can’t keep living like this.”
“Time works differently there, my love. Six years here might only mean a couple hours there.”
“That doesn’t make it any less wrong for you to stay. Those couple hours might be the most crucial hours for your family. They might be fighting for their lives right now, they might be dying, for all we know! You need to come back to them, Five. You have to.”
Five forces a laugh, “Wait, what are you saying?”
She remained silent. Her tears were falling, biting her lips to conceal her tremble. A bitter feeling is brewing in his stomach now.
“Your family needs you and—”
“Okay, stop,” He stood from his seat with an offended look “Are you breaking up with me? On my birthday?”
She looks away, unable to meet his eyes.
“Goodness, you can’t be serious.”
“What choice do we have, Five? One way or another, you’d have to go back to your family. They need you—”
“And you? You don’t need me anymore?”
Her jaw clenches, “That’s beside the point.”
“No, that is the whole point, actually,” He argues, this time coming close to her “I love you, alright? Why is it so wrong for me to want to be with the person that I love? I’ve lived more than a lifetime alone, why can’t I have someone for once?”
“You don’t belong in this timeline. I—”
“I belong with you,” He cuts in “It’s not the timeline that matters, it’s where you are. I belong with you.”
If there’s anything she loves most about Five other than his gentle and caring nature towards her, it would be how adamant he is once he’s set his mind into something. There’s no doubt in her heart about the genuinity of his words. But as much as she’s grateful and touched over it, she knew that they could only spend so long before the guilt eats them whole.
She lets go of his hands softly, placing them on his cheeks instead. She admires him. The beautiful man that’s now standing in front of her with his heart on his sleeves, announcing his devotion to her on the day when he’s supposed to be the one showered with attention and love. His eyes were glossy, clearly conflicted.
“I love you, Five,” She whispers, gently caressing his skin as if it was their last goodbye “But I can’t keep you here, I can’t. I can’t keep you from your family.”
Five looks defeated, silent.
“Don’t you want to know what happened to them? If they’re okay? If they’ve figured out how to stop the apocalypse? Don’t you want to know?”
“I— I don’t know.” He answers “What I know is that I want to be with you.”
“I’ll always be with you, Love,” She reassures, kissing his cheek “I might not understand how this whole different timelines work, but I know that whichever timeline it is, whatever universe we live in, I will always belong to you. I will always be with you.”
And he finally cries. His tears flowing and wetting her palms. His heart shatters, finally succumbing to the guilt he’s tried so hard to bury and forget. He misses his family, he wanted so badly to get back and pick up where he left off, but would it be worth it? Would leaving everything here be worth it? Would leaving her be worth it?
“We’ll find our way,” She reassures, pulling the broken man into her embrace “You’ll find me in your timeline. Maybe we’ll meet at the grocery store, or at a bar, or perhaps at another train station.”
Five chuckles a little, letting a shaky breath as he asks, “And if we don’t?”
“We will,” She says firmly, giving a little space between them so they could gaze into each other’s face “I’m too much of a troublemaker and you’re too much of a problem solver for us to not meet. It’ll be too hard to ignore each other with our nature, Love. We’re bound to meet each other, in any timeline, in any universe. Trust me.”
The boy forces a smile. He leans in, kissing his lover gently as if she’d burst into petals if he pushed too much. Her hold around his neck feels different. Like she wasn’t looking for support but giving one instead. He could feel her trembling a little as his hands pulled her closer by the waist. Her heart is breaking too, as much as his is, but they knew that it’s inevitable. It’s only a matter of time before time pulls them apart and it certainly would be much more painful then.
“I’ll find you,” He whispers “I promise.”
—-
Canada is certainly much colder than home. Five rubs his hands and blows some air to his palms in hope to gain some warmth, but it’s obvious that the only comfort he’ll find in this weather is to get in Viktor’s bar and ask for some drink. That is, if Diego could start the car and get them going.
“It says here that Viktor’s bar is only five minutes by foot,” Klaus says “Who wants to run to the bar with me?”
“No one is getting out of this car!” Diego says in frustration, irritatedly trying his best to start the engine “We’re going to get to his bar together, in this car. That’s the whole point of a family road trip. We go to the bar by car, not by foot!”
“Yes, but it’s freezing here, Diego! The heater is not even on!” Alison argues.
“Well, it won’t be unless the engine is on.”
“No shit, Luther,” Ben says “I vote to run.”
Lila raises her hand, “Second to run.”
“No! No one is getting out of this car!” Diego yells once more, hitting the steering wheel frustratedly “I just need to—”
And by God’s miracle, the engine turns back on. Though their trip would soon reach its main destination, the bicker done by the family persists. The coldness of Canadian weather and how the heater broke almost twenty kilometres ago has made the seven heads’ temper raise. They really need to get to Viktor’s bar before they start to kill each other.
“I’m out of here,” Five announce as the car gets into the parking space of the bar. He space jumped inside, finding himself on one of the empty stools “Good to see you, Viktor.”
“Five,” VIktor greets, a little startled but his smile grows “You’re here. Where are the others?”
“Still figuring their way out to get here. Can I get whiskey on rocks?”
“On it.”
Five taps on the wooden table as he waits for his drink. His heart was content, as much as it might mean now. Their plan to stop the apocalypse worked. Viktor managed to take the marigold off of Ben before the Cleanse happened and now they’re trying to get back or rebuild their life. For once they finally managed to stop the apocalypse from happening.
Right after they succeeded in preventing the cleanse, Five found himself running to the subway station. He could still feel his feet burning from how fast he tried to get back to the station, wanting to jump in the train and go back to her timeline, but once he got there, the station vanished. There was no trace of it, no matter how many times he tried to run around and look for it. The subway is gone. She is gone.
Perhaps it was the price he has to pay for saving the universe. One’s happiness in exchange for the lives of millions doesn’t seem to be a hard sacrifice to make, but it’s still a tough pill for him to swallow. He knew that she would be proud. That she would hug and kiss him for doing all the hard work in saving the world. But the more he thinks about it, the more it stings for such touch would only be as good as a dream now.
“You ordered whiskey on rocks?” A voice asked, breaking his train of thoughts.
Five’s mouth went agape. He couldn’t tell if he was daydreaming or if this was some sick new power he gained from the marigold, but she was there. Standing right in front of him with a glass of whiskey in her hand.
“Viktor said his brother ordered whiskey on rocks, I assume that’s you?”
“I— Uh, yes,” He stammers, getting off the stool “You’re here.”
Five couldn’t believe his eyes. In his heart he knew that they would meet again, that somehow the universe would let him keep both her and his family, but he never expected that it was true. He never expected that he would meet her again. Not this fast, not this way.
“Sorry?” She asks, raising an eyebrow “Are you okay?”
“Y-Yes. Yes, I’m fine,” Five said, shaking his head and taking the glass “Thank you.”
The girl smiles. It was a different smile than what he’s used to seeing. There wasn’t much love in her eyes, but he wasn’t in the position to complain. The girl he’s staring at and his lover might be the same person but she’s yet to know him here. She’s yet to know that he’s hers. She’s yet to know that he loves her. She’s yet to know that he belongs to her.
“Sorry, but have we met before?” She asks, still staring back at him “You look very familiar.”
“Uh, no, I don’t think so,” He lied, offering his hand “I’m Five. Five Hargreeves. Viktor’s brother.”
She took his hand, telling him her name, “I didn’t know Viktor had a baby brother.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not really his baby brother. It’s— It’s complicated.” Five could feel his cheeks burning like a little boy, bashful “It’s a long story.”
“You mind telling me about it?” She asks, leaning on the table “I’ve got time. I love hearing stories.”
“I know you do,” He says with a big smile “Well, where do I start..”
928 notes · View notes
blueballsracing · 4 months
Text
the full carcar (carloscar) timeline (or, a carlos sainz and oscar piastri primer)
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Oscar Jack Piastri 
He was born on April 6th, 2001, in a suburb of Melbourne close to Albert Park. He is the eldest sibling and has 3 younger sisters. His grandfathers were mechanics and his father co-founded HP Tuners, a tool used for tuning and modifying the performance of vehicles with electronic control units. His mom, Nicole Piastri (née Mcfadyen) is a naturopath who specializes in botanical medicine and natural birthing practices. The entire family is pretty private, but the family was well-off enough so that they could support Oscar’s motorsports career.
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Left to Right: Hattie, Mae, Nicole, and Edie (3 of Oscar's sisters with his mom) (Photo by Kym Illman)
Unlike Carlos and a ton of other drivers where they started off pursuing a career in motorsports by karting, he started in remote-control racing. He started karting in 2011 at age 10, but it wasn't until three years later that he began taking the sport more seriously. His career then progressed rapidly; in 2016, he made his debut in single-seater racing. He moved to the United Kingdom to further his racing career in 2016, finishing sixth in the 2016 CIK-FIA World Junior Championship in Bahrain. The following year, he was the British Formula 4 vice champion, with his dad’s company HP Tuners sponsoring him.
In 2018, he participates in Formula Renault Eurocup and places 8th, spends one more year there, and places 1st. Through 2019-2021, he’s on a winning streak: he wins F3 and F2, and is Alpine’s reserve driver for the 2022 season.
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British F4 Vice Champion (Photo by Jakob Ebrey) | F3 Champion (Photo by Joe Portlock)
In 2018, he participates in Formula Renault Eurocup and places 8th, spends one more year there, and places 1st. Through 2019-2021, he’s on a winning streak: he wins F3 and F2, and is Alpine’s reserve driver for the 2022 season. He is also available as a reserve driver for McLaren, and he participates in some test sessions throughout the 2022 season: he drives at COTA, Losail, and Silverstone.
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In 2022, we also get the infamous tweet: Oscar saying that he will not be driving with Alpine for the next year. When Sebastian Vettel retires, he opens up a seat at Aston Martin, and reports emerge that Oscar is supposed to join Williams in 2023, and Alpine will keep Alonso and Ocon. Alpine then tweets Oscar will take Alonso’s place, and then Oscar rejects the claim. His contract announcement with McLaren comes out in September, saying he had signed with them July 2022, and the rest is history.
Carlos Sainz Vázquez de Castro Cenamor Rincón Rebollo Virto Moreno de Aranda Don Per Urrielagoiria Pérez del Pulgar
He was born September 1st, 1994, in Madrid. He is the middle child to two other sisters, Ana and Blanca, and is son to Carlos Sainz Sr, a World Rally champion. His grandfather, Antonio Sainz, was in charge of the Bolivian honorary consul in Madrid, helping with generous financial contributions. Right before Carlos Jr. was born, his grandfather got into a serious scandal when he was found shooting and killing a man after he stole a bag from his wife. He was not charged but did turn himself in to the police. Carlos Sainz Sr’s sister buys a car for him at 11, and he becomes obsessed with racing, but wants to try to be the best at everything, and is a squash champion at 17. Antonio forces him to study law, and he gets through 2 terms, before debuting in rallies. He wins 2 world rally championships and becomes vice champion 4 times. His family is extremely rich, as compound surnames like “Vázquez de Castro” in Spain belong to nobility or at least, the upper class. Blanca, the eldest daughter, received a degree in Business Administration and even studied at Northeastern. Ana, the youngest daughter, also received a degree in Business Administration and Management but works within the real estate sector. They are all very close to Spanish royalty and nobility.
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Photo from Twitter
Carlos begins his career in karting in 2006. (Mind you, Oscar is 5 in 2006...) After competing in smaller series, he wins the Asia-Pacific KF3 title in 2008 and finishes runner-up in the Spanish Championship. In 2009, he secures the Junior Monaco Kart Cup and comes 2nd place in the European KF3 Championship. Carlos becomes a part of the Red Bull Junior Team in 2010. He makes the switch from carts to open-wheel cars in 2010, and although he competes in a variety of series, his most notable finish from 2010 and 2011 is 1st in Formula Renault 2.0. 2012-2014, he competed in F3, GP3, and Formula Renault 3.5. Before GP2 became F2, he never actually competed in it, skipping the series. He races in an F1 car for the first time in Silverstone in 2013, and at 20, he signs to race with Toro Rosso for the 2015 season. 
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“Spanish youngster Carlos Sainz, whose father and namesake was a double world rally champion in the 1990s, will race in Formula One next season with Toro Rosso in the youngest line-up on the starting grid.” - Article by Eurosport
For a lot of his career, Carlos was always compared to his dad, living in his shadow. From the beginning of 2015 to the middle of 2017, Carlos races for Toro Rosso. He gets a new teammate in 2016, partnering with Daniil Kvyat after Max is promoted to the Red Bull senior team and Daniil is demoted. His results in the F1 world championship went from 15th to 12th to 9th.
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In 2017, he leaves Toro Rosso for Renault. Helmut Marko spoke about his decision, saying “"It was his bad luck to get Max as a teammate. The atmosphere between the two [Sainz and Verstappen] at Toro Rosso was quite toxic.” He referred to both of their parents as being toxic and creating that toxic atmosphere, making their children hard to compete with each other.
“Sainz was a strong performer at Toro Rosso alongside Max Verstappen in their rookie 2015 season, matching him in qualifying. But his reputation never took off, and while he was always a promising young driver, clearly capable of some excellent performances, few seemed to believe Sainz was a prodigious talent. When Verstappen got promoted to Red Bull’s senior team a few races into 2016, Sainz was left at Toro Rosso. Though not in the same spotlight as Verstappen, he comprehensively outperformed the demoted Daniil Kvyat over the next 18 months. However, it had become clear to Sainz he lacked a path to the front with Red Bull. He always denied that Verstappen refused to be his team-mate again, but if it was not the young Dutchman’s preference it was almost certainly Red Bull’s, as the team did not want to pair Verstappen with Sainz.” - Article by The Race
He spends 1.5 years at Renault, then signs with McLaren. He was on loan from Renault to Red Bull, and he was unable to resign with them due to not being free from his contract early enough. Renault also conveniently decides to replace him with Daniel Ricciardo, who ultimately joins Renault in 2019, and Carlos goes on record saying he left Renault without any bad feelings. Ultimately he decides his Plan B is McLaren (as Alonso decides to retire at the end of 2018), and he signs with them, a “multi-year” contract.
He takes his first podium with McLaren at the 2019 Brazilian Grand Prix, finishes in 3rd place, and in 2020, he takes his second podium at Monza, finishing in 2nd place. He also takes 1 fastest lap at the 2020 Styrian Grand Prix. Ultimately, he had very successful seasons with McLaren, finishing 6th in the WDC back-to-back, and he is offered a 2 year contract by Ferrari to replace Sebastian Vettel for the upcoming 2021 season. Daniel Ricciardo, funny enough, replaces him at McLaren (they are swapping seats lol).
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Photo from SkySports
From 2021-2024, he remains with Ferrari, scores 3 wins, a number of podiums, and stays close behind his teammate, Charles Leclerc. And now, we are here, the start of The Carcar Timeline.
The Carcar Timeline
Australia 2015 - A String of Invisible Fate
"Piastri shares another memory from the Australian GP Oscar Piastri has another memory from the Australian GP. Back in 2015, the Aussie was one of the grid kids for the event. Grid-kids were children who used to hold the flags of each driver’s nationality. Piastri was assigned Red Bull’s Daniil Kvyat. Unfortunately for young Oscar, he was unable to meet the Russian driver as Kvyat was unable to start after a transmission failure." - Article by The Sports Rush
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He was standing not far from Carlos!!! THE FIRST CARCAR CRUMBS! Thank you @a-amvryllis for posting these photos!
Spa 2023 - The Story Begins with a DNF
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Lewis Hamilton starts 3rd, Carlos Sainz starts 4th, and Oscar Piastri starts 5th
Lewis is fighting with Carlos going into turn 1, on the outside of Carlos
Carlos has a slight lock-up going into turn 1, and to avoid contact with Lewis, he has to turn inward
Oscar ultimately has to take the inside line to Carlos going into turn 1, and is squeezed into the wall by Carlos
They both DNF due to damage from the incident, deemed a “racing incident” by the FIA
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In an interview, Oscar tells the media: “I had a pretty good launch, I was getting alongside Carlos and then he kind of jinked to the inside a bit and I obviously had to get out of the brakes to not get hit. My nose was kind of there and at that point, it was too late to try and back out, so unfortunately I ended up in contact. A shame to end so early."
Carlos, on the other hand, tells the media: “I was on the attack with Lewis into Turn 1 and I think I pretty much had the move done and then I received a bit of contact on my rear-right,” reckoned Sainz afterwards. “If you want my honest opinion, I think it was a bit of a mistake by Oscar trying to go through side-by-side into [Turn] 1. If you look at the last seven, eight years, everyone who has tried that move, it’s never really worked and has generated a bit of a crash when you look at the past races. So yeah, I don’t know if it was a bit of a lack of experience, a bit optimistic, but again a racing incident that cost us a race."
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The Infamous Tweet that got Carlos slightly cancelled because he blamed Oscar 😭
Zandvoort 2023 - Big Yikes in Qualifying
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During Q1, Carlos was exiting the pit lane behind Valtteri Bottas, and was unaware of Oscar's presence
Oscar was on a slow lap
As Carlos pulled across to take the natural racing line into turns 2 and 3, Oscar was forced off track and had to brake suddenly to avoid contact with Carlos
Carlos is ultimately given a 5000 Euro reprimand, as Ferrari did not warn Carlos about his proximity to Oscar until they were alongside each other
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Monza 2023 - Free Practice 3 Inchident
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At turn 1, Carlos and Oscar go side-by-side, and Carlos forces Oscar to go wide to avoid a collision
Carlos is shown the black-and-white flag for the incident
The commentators go on to say "it's always these two, isn't it?" (and it's true because sometimes you just beef with your younger enemy)
Yuki is also upset with Carlos too due to some congestion on track, and him getting in the way 😭
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Abu Dhabi 2023 - More Free Practice Inchidents
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Oscar is approaching a turn when Carlos is in the racing line on a slow lap
Oscar believed that Carlos had impeded him on his lap, accusing him of "dangerous driving"
Ultimately, nothing comes of the incident, except for the fact that we get our signature "Classic Carlos" moment
During qualifying, Carlos also is criticized by Daniel Ricciardo, saying he's "always the culprit" with impeding (thank you @scrappyracers for sending this)
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Saudi Arabia 2024 - Minor Complaining
During FP2, Oscar is told that "Sainz is pushing" and slows down to the left side of the track, to let him pass
But then, Carlos doesn't think that this is sufficient, throws his right hand up and gestures at Oscar as he passes him like "what tf are u doing" and says the following radio message
The onboards can be found here, thank you @eightyonefour for posting!
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Miami 2024 - When Carcar Went Mainstream
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Through the middle of the race, around lap 34, Carlos attempted an overtake on Oscar
Oscar pushes Carlos wide to defend his position
Carlos then states that Oscar should give the position back for pushing him off the track
No penalties were given here, as Oscar was overtaking on the inside and his front tyres were ahead–therefore, this was a legal move
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On lap 35, Carlos attempts another overtake on Oscar, and has a slight-lock-up
There is contact! The cars touch, but Carlos makes it past
Oscar tries to retake the position, but has a major lock-up, and has significant front-wing damage. He ends up replacing his front wing, falling from P4 to P13
Carlos is given a penalty after the race for causing the collision due to "losing control of his car" and he drops from P4 to P5
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(it's worth noting Oscar literally has no radios of him even acknowledging this fight with Carlos, he just talks about the vibrations of the rear wing)
Monaco 2024 - The Soulbond is Acknowledged
We got this very funny moment of Oscar trying to offer Carlos the microphone but getting ignored
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While Charles was on pole, Oscar was in 2nd and Carlos was in 3rd, and on the first lap, Oscar didn't get away as well as Carlos did so Carlos caught up to Oscar
They went side by side at the first corner and Carlos rubbed against Oscar's floor, leaving him with a front-left puncture
After the red flag, all the grid positions were restored, so they ended up racing each other all the way until the end of the race
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At the press conference, Carlos was lying down first and then Oscar decided to come join him
Then, when starting the press conference, Carlos tried to offer his phone to Oscar (boyfriend behavior)
In the interview, Carlos goes on record saying:
"for some reason oscar and i, we seem to have a magnet recently between each other, for some reason that i don't understand because we get on well and everything is okay but we always seem to find each other on track" from here
They acknowledged the soul-bond
The Crusty White Dog
They both own crusty white dogs. Do you guys think they share it
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Instagram Saga
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Carlos does not follow Oscar on Instagram.
Oscar follows Carlos on Instagram.
Oscar has never once liked any of Carlos' posts (I can confirm. I have scrolled through the thousands of posts he has.)
this is the current timeline, let me know if i've missed anything! and i hope you enjoyed my little brief intros about the drivers too!
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neil-gaiman · 5 months
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Hi Neil.
I know you are flooded with asks and this somehow became extremely long. Too long. “Why am I suddenly telling this poor man my life story?” too long. “I think I’d rather he work on the GO3 script than read this wild beast” too long. “He’s going to think you’re criminally dangerously insane” too long. If you never get to it, I’m good with never seeing a response from you. Maybe it’s better that way? Maybe an anon would have been nice here. But, it’s 2024, so I say “we ball.” It’s a privilege to be able to send this to you at all. You get a lot to this effect and I hope they give you good feels, so maybe what’s the harm, yeah? Because this is not an ask. This is a thank you letter.
First, thanks for reblogging my therapist post, I hope it amused you. I nearly sent you “How am i supposed to explain this to my therapist?!” But refrained. At that time.
So, therapy. What is therapy really? Well…
Things have been really rotten for as long as I can remember. Bad health, bad doctors, bad relationships, bad coping mechanisms, bad all kinds of things. (Yeah, bad is a weak and unhelpful word, my therapist reminds me, but we’re doing this.)
Well, things got even more really really rotten and BAD these last few years. Health declined further, coping mechanisms declined further and more intensely, packed up my life, applied for disability, moved back in with my parents across the country.
Then 4 years ago last week I watched my fiance die of a sudden heart attack. I was 29. Two years later my best friend died. Then last summer I sauntered vaguely into a cancer scare. Not long before an operation my cat who has been my companion through so much garbage died as well. I’m not entirely in the clear on the cancer scare front. All my attempts at going back to work, volunteering, going to grad school - they collapsed on me because I couldn’t get through this STUFF.
(Sometimes when I talk about this, when I tell people, I think “they are going to think you are a raging pathological liar.” Because I’m not sure I would believe someone if they told me all of this happened to them. In such a short time period. All before they were 35. And hell if that hasn’t been isolating. You know how it sounds? Lonely. And it is.)
I did the hypervigilant and sensation/experience chasing stage of PTSD. It got me in a lot of trouble in all kinds of ways. I had to do a lot of medical and psych advocating because things kept getting worse. That was exhausting. Then that peaked. I went into the thick of the “I feel absolutely nothing” stage for a long time. I didn’t feel fatigue or hunger or thirst. Not people, feelings, a reason. Not hope.
But of course, like seems be for a lot of us, I somehow found Good Omens at just the right time. I was a very “I’m so cool and intellectual I mostly consume non-fiction media” person for too long. Like, what? How is that even a real thing? And it wasn’t real. It was just part of this curated autism mask that I don’t think anyone really bought anyway.
I think I got to a point where I’d just had too much reality. I needed fantasy. I didn’t realize I always needed it. But I denied myself for too many odd and painful reasons. Maybe I thought it was an escape I didn’t deserve.
But as it turns out, it wasn’t an escape. I watched both seasons last fall, and then this light came on. I watched it again and again.
I came to tumblr because I needed more. I found this fandom. I stepped into this beautiful world of fanart and fanfiction and brain flexing meta writing and a sense of community and wonder that you and Terry created - that everyone involved in the show inflated - exploded in the right way - like fireworks if fireworks were some kind of autocatalytic reaction - a self perpetuating force.
It’s not a “saved my life” feeling. Not a “getting my life back” feeling. It’s been a “maybe it’s time for you to have the life you’ve always been denied - that you’ve denied yourself” feeling.
I’m creating. I’m not “great” yet. Not terribly “good” at all. Maybe “behind” as far as the “proper” timeline for starting. I know there isn’t one, not really, but boy does that society machine make ya feel like there is. And sure, I started and stopped a lot in the past. But the second it got hard I always gave up. I felt like if I didn’t get it “right” to begin with, then I just didn’t have it in me at all. But for once I’m really in it. I’m writing and trying to draw things that look less like fever dream five year old drawings. (Not that there’s anything wrong with those, is there? 🙃) I’m eating better. I’m sleeping better. I reach out to old friends more. I’ve made new friends who share this love of Good Omens.
My therapist has been floored by the change in me. After that first funny mini flop, he has been so encouraging about it. I saw him this week and I said “Maybe this is helping me get prepared to start living again. Maybe it’s a springboard.” And he honest to god said “But You ARE living. This is YOU LIVING. Why does it have to be a springboard? Why do you have to turn this into ‘work?’ Just let yourself have this for once in your life.”
But there were two more added elements that made it all work. And I can’t help but think this whole brainrot thing wouldn’t have happened without them. So many things just happened all at just the right time - a proper coincidence.
In all of the madness of the last few years I finally got the memo that I'm autistic. i figured I was for a while. But it finally sunk in for me and my docs and my people. So I’d been working on unpacking that. Grieving the life that could have been entirely different, shedding the mask. I let myself hyperfixate openly instead of hiding it and hating myself for “spiralling” or “obsessing” like others -!like ‘I’ always punished myself for before we knew that it was a trait and not a personality flaw.
Then over the last few months my therapist and I started trying this new exercise. One session he stopped me and said “in the last 20 minutes you have responded to what I’ve said with 9 ‘I knows.’” My response to that? “Ugh, I know.” So we started this “I know” swear jar type situation. Really, I’ve been afraid of not knowing. I couldn’t let myself “not know.” Because it meant I was “dumb.” I was just drowning for so long in guilt and self loathing for the “I knew better and screwed up anyway.” Or “I should’ve known better - I should know that by now.”
As it turns out, there’s a lot of things I don’t know. That I didn’t know. Things I will never know. And refusing to admit all of that kept me from learning a damn thing. Kept me from asking questions. Kept me from trying new things because it was scary to do something new - something unknown - and I "knew" how it would all turn out anyway. Kept me from connecting with people because it was painful or embarrassing when they knew things I didn’t and it seemed like I already should have. Kept me from getting better at making art, music, writing. Kept me from forgiving myself. Kept me from growing. And kept me from moving forward. Maybe not on. I don’t know if we ever “move on” from things. But we can move forward as we carry them. And as we do, the weight gets less. We’re able to carry it better. But only if we can admit that we don’t know how. Only if we don’t treat ourselves like this is something we do know or should know and we’re just failing because we’re less than. Not good enough. Not strong enough. Not deserving. We have to be able to say “I don’t know how to do this.” And then we can start looking for the answers. We can ask. We can learn.
I thought about the apple. Being able to tell the difference between good and evil. Aziraphale’s years and years of watching what he “knows” to be true be proven wrong. Crowley’s need to ask questions…
The simple and enormous gift of “Knowledge.” The “Knowledge” of the difference between Good and Evil. The “Knowledge” that can only be gained by realizing, accepting, admitting that there are things we don’t know. Asking the questions. Sometimes we get answers we don’t like. Sometimes the consequences of asking hurt us. And unless you want to stay in that painful place that painful knowledge got you, well, you’ve got to let yourself learn how to get out.
So all of this good? I never expected this. I never thought I deserved it. Joy and belonging and this sense that “Yeah, maybe things can get better. Maybe things can be good.” Because I said those things, not truly believing them, to the people I thought needed to hear it. But it couldn’t save them. It was hollow. The proof for us wasn’t really in our orbit or on our radar at the time. And now they’re gone.
People always say “it’s never too late.”
One of the people I lost said “it’s later than you think.”
I jokingly would respond “it’s already too late.”
It was for him in the end. For them. For some people I guess it really is. But maybe a lot of the “too late” people are there because they think “they know” that things will never be good for them. So they stop looking, they stop asking, stop finding. And eventually they just stop.
Then there came Crowley’s “It’s always too late.” The first time I heard it I thought “For sure, Crowley-cakes, I KNOW.”
But then…I just needed to rewatch the whole thing. And lines like that…familiar things…familiar themes…I was suddenly identifying with these characters. I suddenly saw myself. And the realization hit - I connected with something! Something new. And I FELT THAT. And that tiny little crack that made in the wall was just enough to start breaking it down. Yeah, when you start letting yourself feel after not feeling for so long, opening up to the good feelings means opening up to feelings and then the bad ones come out too. But when there IS good … it helps you balance. You can deal with the bad a little better because you’ve got the good thing to lean against when it gets too much. And now you’ve got feelings. You’ve got good and bad. You’ve got sticky foggy grey. You’ve got life.
Whew.
So, TLDR, thank you. From the bottom of my slowly healing heart, thank you.
And to sign off with some shits and giggles… I couldn’t find this in existence as a sticker so I had to custom order. Perhaps this will spread misery and panic among the humans of my city - or at least a malignant and creepy sense of unease.
Or maybe they’ll say “wtf” and go home and google it and they’ll fall into the Good Omens hole they never knew they needed too.
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Thank you for this. I never quite know what to say to messages like this apart from I am really glad that it helps. (It becomes the weird extra piece that I worry about when writing season 3 -- hoping that it will be that thing again. Not just a story, but something that helps people feel and helps with healing and helps with love.)
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vettelsvee · 2 months
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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET SERIES
f1 masterlist | ao3 | requests or let's talk!
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sebastian vettel x singer ex gf!reader | 2018 to 2022 f1 seasons
for more information to the reader: ❥ this series will include some flashbacks to get to know more the characters and their story. ❥ it contains right person, wrong time and friends to lovers tropes. ❥ taylor swift and little mix don't exist in this universe as y/n and her music is based on theirs. ❥ some parts might include sensitive content. pay attention to trigger warnings at the beginning of each part.
started: JULY 17TH 2024 currently status: on going | last updated: july 24th masterlist under the cut !
taglist: [@nhfls @jehun @ferralari @cosmoscoffeee @mcmuppet @myescapefromthislife @mploopssek @sleutherclaw @youre-on-your-ownkid ]
a/n: i couldn't keep it anymore. i just can't thank you enough to all of you who liked, reposted and commented on the very first part of goodbyes are bittersweet. i feel speechless because this story means a lot to me. hope you like the story of these stupid two as much as you liked the first part. hope to see your comments and feedback, and also hope we fangirl together over this two <3
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SEBASTIAN VETTEL AND Y/N Y/L/N HAD BEEN EVERYTHING TO EACH OTHER SINCE THEY WERE LITTLE. The kids from Heppenheim became best friends as soon as their parents' friendship made it possible. To their surprise, but not to the rest of the world, the young pair formed an increasingly strong bond until, after years of internal suffering, they decided to confess their feelings to each other.
However, a slip-up at the beginning of 2013 left Y/N pregnant with the RedBull driver's child. Knowing what it would mean for her partner to bring a child into the world, especially considering that his chances of winning his fourth Formula 1 championship were very high, she made the tough decision to hide the truth from Sebastian, cutting off all relations with him and his family.
Four years after the birth of little Emily, in 2018, Y/N worked tirelessly to provide the best possible life for her daughter in a small bar in her hometown as a waitress and occasionally as a singer, while composing songs that she thought would never be successful... or so she believed until a video of her singing one of the best songs she ever composed went viral on YouTube, reaching more people than she ever imagined.
Even Sebastian Vettel, who never stopped loving the woman who had been his girlfriend for six years despite having tried to forget her many more times that he could count.
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© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!
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GOODBYES ARE BITTERSWEET MASTERLIST
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part 1: y/n decides to break up with seb once she finds out she's pregnant part 2: seb finds out that y/n just went viral on youtube after posting a song that might been composed about him part 3: y/n discovers not only that she went viral on youtube on her birthday and that she's offered a reunion with capital records, but also has to face a possible reunion with seb after no contact with him for four, almost five, years part 4: seb comes back home as a surprise only to see that hanna and a little mysterious girl receive them... instead of y/n, who was supposed to finally meet him
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fangirl-dot-com · 6 months
Text
😈Track 4 - I Did Something Bad
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
Alex was standing by the iconic bright blue garage. It was almost time for the rest of the grid to arrive for testing, but he didn’t care about that. All he cared about was George’s post from three days ago. The paddle game and its players were still a mystery to him. 
Who has George playing with? And why hadn’t he told him? 
Weren’t they supposed to be best friends? 
The Thai rolled his eyes as he scrolled through the numerous comments about how the two other players must have been Logan Sargeant and Y/n L/n. And if they were the players then that must mean that they will be the new Lamborghini drivers.  
He scoffed out loud. “As if.” 
“As if what?” a French voice sounded. Alex turned to look at his new rookie teammate. He tried to give the twenty-year-old a smile. He held up his phone, but the screen had gone dark Theo didn’t need to know that Alex was trying to find gossip like a middle-schooler. 
“Just fan theories,” he muttered, opening his phone back up and exiting out of Instagram and back to his messages. His eyes widened as he read through the chat. 
Theo’s eyebrow arched. “What’s wrong?” 
“George wants us over by the media pen. We got to go.” 
The two Williams drivers both started to quickly walk. Alex weaved through the crowds, turning back once every so often to see if Theo was still with him. For half a second, he remembered how he would just leave Logan to fend for himself. The American was often late getting to places because he didn’t know where anything was. At the time, Alex had said that he wasn’t responsible for his teammate. 
But now as he was navigating the big crowds at Bahrain, he wished he had spent a little more time with Logan, making sure that he was ok. 
However, that was in the past and Alex couldn’t waste time on it. Theo was his teammate now and Logan was off doing who-knows-what. On the inside, he was hoping to never run into the blond again. The American was just another sign of his mistakes. 
He always believed that he was the superior of the two, often questioning James as to why Logan hadn’t been replaced farther into the season like Nyck had been.
The team principal always rolled his eyes at Alex. 
“It’s because we aren’t Red Bull. We don’t want to drop Logan like Red Bull dropped you.” 
That had stung, but Alex always internally laughed. Logan was inevitably dropped by Williams, just like he had been with Red Bull. The only difference is that Alex stayed and extended his contract. Was this how Max Verstappen felt? 
Alex was so lost in thought that he didn’t see the back of someone and rammed into them.  
“Oh, hey mate.” 
Speak of the devil. 
“Hi Max,” he greeted back, rubbing his chest. “Did your back get bigger or have you always been this broad.” 
Max winced at the inuendo. Wasn’t his fault that he couldn’t be a string bean like Alex or George could be. 
“Ah, Albono, no need to be jealous that Max can probably bench press more than you.”
The Dutchman internally smiled at the familiar Monegasque voice. Charles had made his way over the moment that Alex ran into Max. 
Theo was right next to Alex still, reminding Charles of a lost puppy. He didn’t understand why Alex hadn’t let Logan do that last year if the Thai was fine with it this year. The Monegasque didn’t have time to ask before Lando and Oscar joined the bunch. His green eyes flitted over to George and Lewis who were whispering to each other. 
Lando had a grin on his face as he greeted the four drivers. 
“Hello mate.” The Briton clasped Max’s hand before going around. Oscar followed in suit. 
Theo, a little nervous around the older drivers, tried to make conversation. 
“How are the cars looking?” 
Suddenly he had five pairs of eyes on him, which maybe would have made others shrink away, but the Frenchman didn’t want to appear weak. 
Oscar’s eyes crinkled as he smiled. “They look good. Maybe someone will win a race this year.” He poked Lando’s side, making the brunet squawk. 
“I’ll win if Max decides to DNF.” 
The group laughed a bit. Max responded with an huff. 
“For the last time Lando, you need to be faster to beat me. I won’t let you pass and if I’m behind you, I’ll just pass you again.” 
He had a cheeky grin making Lando pout. 
Charles turned back to Theo and Alex. 
“How are you two feeling about the cars?” 
The two Williams drivers perked up. They had been working hard all winter break to make upgrades. Alex would never admit, but most of the ideas had come from what Logan had said during 2023. They didn’t have a championship contending car, but they would be able to bring in some decent points. 
Theo took the opportunity to answer. 
“It looks all right. Hoping to make it into Q2 at least. We have good 1-lap pace.” 
Lando snorted. “You’ll definitely make it into Q2. I’m forecasting no crashes in Free Practice.” 
Theo’s head tilted. “How come?” 
“Because there’s not a certain driver on the grid this year. Now maybe I can win a race without having to go around his debris. ” 
“Lando you’re such a narcissist,” Max murmured, looking around hoping no one heard him. The last thing the Briton needed was another cancel culture on him. 
Lando’s green eyes widened. “What? I’m only saying the truth. Even Oscar was saying something about it this morning. Right mate? Logan will probably never put a foot in the paddock again.” 
Oscar looked down, semi-embarrassed, but also, again, he shouldn’t be worrying about Logan anymore. The Aussie looked back up. 
“Yeah, I mean, he crashed out a lot and it was all his own faults. It’d probably be better if he stayed away for a bit.” 
Max and Charles didn’t seem too certain that Oscar truly believed it. But the look in Oscar’s eyes did tell them that there was some truth. Max wanted to bring up the fact that Charles last year did crash out a few times, but he still had a seat. Charles’s hand on his back made him wait. 
It was silent for a moment before George walked up to the group. 
“The new drivers are about to walk in. Do you want to go with me to meet them?” 
Charles and Max looked at him and eagerly nodded. Oscar and Lando shrugged, but agreed to walk with George. Alex said nothing but still tagged along, which made Theo follow the older drivers. 
Time to go see who copped Logan’s driver number. 
Alex truly didn’t want to see another car with the number 2 on it that wouldn’t be Logan. It wouldn’t feel great. But Alex guessed that’s what the past was, an emotion that just gnawed on your insides until it went away with time. 
He once again ran into someone, but this time it was Lando. 
“Lando, why’d you…” 
He wasn’t able to finish his sentence as his eyes were now glued to the turnstiles. 
There was no way. 
Logan grinned when his eyes landed on the small group. George, Max, and Charles were still walking toward him and you, but the other four stopped dead in their tracks. 
“Nice and sunny today?” Logan jokingly questioned as he hugged George first. You made yourself busy with greeting Max and Charles. 
You and Logan had decided to show up in the Lamborghini merchandise. Logan was in a black t-shirt but you were dressed in a Lamborghini issued pantsuit. But for the race next week, the two of you would show up in sponsor clothes. The yellow decals looks great against his black shirt. 
Charles smiled as he leaned back from the hug. “Looking a bit bee-ish today.” 
You rolled your eyes as you looked down your own suit that had bits of yellow intricately designed. 
“Charles,” you whined, “now I won’t be able to see anything else. Even our car is black and yellow.” 
You let out a huff, but the smile on your face contradicted how you were acting. Logan walked up next to you and greeted the other two, which gave you and George time to talk as well. 
“They’re still staring,” Logan murmured as he leaned in to side hug Max. 
“Let them.” 
The now group of five walked farther into the paddock. Logan had wanted to say something, or even look at the other four, but the look on their faces deterred him. With your arm linked in his, you pulled him along, also not giving him a chance to stop. 
“You don’t need them.” 
Logan nodded. 
Charles leaned closer. “They were so sure that Logan wasn’t going to come back this season. I think Lando was betting that Mick would be in the seat.” 
Your smirk grew. “Played them like a violin Logan. Making it look so easy for the rest of us.” 
Logan barely glanced back at the still stuck drivers, who turned around to watch them walk away. 
“They’re looking at me like I did something bad. But, why does it feel good?” the American male asked. His heart wanted to hurt because of how they treated him last year, but at the same time, he couldn’t help but feel a bit smug at their jaws on the floor. 
Max snorted. “Because they fucked you up last year mate.” 
George let out a gasp and put his hands over your ears. “No bad words around the children Max.” 
You quickly batted his hands away. “I’m twenty-two George. Also, why aren’t your hands over Charles ‘vanilla is the best ice cream flavor’ Leclerc’s ears instead?” 
The Ferrari-driver glared at you. “Says the woman who thinks chocolate is somehow superior.” 
The two of you started to bicker as you walked. George, Max, and Logan laughed from behind. Logan pulled out his phone and took a quick picture before opening his schedule to see who he was with for media. He quietly cursed as he looked at the names. 
George winced at the photo. “I can’t believe that they’re putting you with Lando, Oscar, and Alex.” 
A quick buzz from Max’s phone made him take it out quickly. He smiled as he showed Logan. 
“I guess they changed mine. I’m now with you and the wolves.” 
Logan tried to feel a bit better about it, but he was visibly deflating. He just hoped that he could sit next to the Dutchman without having to sit next to anyone else. 
Thankfully, when it was time, Max had saved him an end seat. It was Logan on the left, then Max, then Alex, then Lando, then Oscar. Logan hadn’t greeted any of them as he walked in, only giving Max a quick smile before they got started. He ran a hand through his hair quickly and his eyes looked over at John, his new PR manager. The older man gave him an encouraging nod as a journalist started to ask Max a question. 
To Logan’s delight, most of the questions were for Max about the RB20 and if it would be as fast as the RB19. Max went through the motions to give his most mundane answer he could muster. Logan started to pick at his fingernails as he waited for the next question, which was for him. His head rose to look at the small crowd. 
“James McHone, with News 5, question for Logan. Why did you come back to race for Lamborghini after a very unsuccessful rookie year with Williams?” 
He wanted to wince, but kept his face neutral. He raised the mic to his lips. 
“Well, uh, I thought I wasn’t done and hadn’t been able to show people what I could do. During 2023 season, I had multiple people telling me that Williams was the best I could ever get and to not throw away a good thing. But in the end, to people it seems that I did throw it away. However, now with Lamborghini and Michael, I think I can finally show that they made the wrong decision.” 
Whispers went through the crowd at his last statement, but the genuine smile on John’s face made him feel better. 
“Melany Lancy, with Circuit Noise, follow up question for Logan. Some drivers have mentioned that a possible return for you hadn’t been something that was believable and that Logan Sargeant should have never gotten into Formula 1. Thoughts?” 
Logan took a deep breath before answering. He smirked and rolled his shoulders a bit. 
“I know I’m a good driver with the right car, and Williams just didn’t have that for me. I believe that Lamborghini has everything that I require. The team has really listened to me and Y/n, my teammate, during the break. The car was designed for us. I hadn’t really heard any rumors regarding drivers saying I should have never been in Formula 1. But all I can really say is if they drop my name, I don’t own them anything. I’m just here to do my job and do it well.”
Logan wasn’t asked any more question after that, but he could see the embarrassed red start to fill in Oscar’s, Lando’s, and Alex’s faces. He hadn’t heard rumors, but he had heard them say that first hand back in Brazil. 
He was quick to stand up and leave once they got the go ahead. He had a big smile as he made his way back to the garage with Max in tow. Somehow, the Lamborghini garage was placed next to Red Bull. On the other side of the navy garage was Ferrari. 
The American could only laugh at the thought of them trying to put both Italian teams garages next to each other. Enzo Ferrari would roll in his grave and Tonino would have a fit. He glanced over to Max before lifting his hand in a wave. 
“Y/n! Lo sai che a Tonino verrebbe un infarto vedendoti nel garage rosso?” (You know that Tonino would have a heart attack seeing you in the red garage?) 
Max’s head whipped at the fluent sounding Italian that left Logan’s mouth. Logan chose to ignore and kept smiling. Even in the Ferrari garage, Charles’s eyes went wide at the sound. The Monegasque’s head turned to you waiting for an answer. 
You waved a hand down like being in the Ferrari garage wasn’t a big deal. 
“E piu come se Enzo si stesse rotolando nella tomba. Charles aveva fatto una prova del gelato per il suo negozio e ne volevo un po’” (More like Enzo is rolling in his grave. Charles had test ice cream for his shop and I wanted some.” 
Logan rolled his eyes. Max just stood there in an utter look of confusion and bewilderment. 
“Charles, hai altro da condividere?” (Charles, do you have more to share?” 
The Ferrari driver was still frozen as he listened to you converse with one of his engineers in fluent Italian. It scared him even more when he truly realized that Logan was fluent as well. He quickly shut his eyes and shook his head before answering. 
“Questi ragazzo. Sono io quello che finira presto nella tomba. Si, ne ho di piu.” (These kids. I’m the one that’s going to be in an early grave. Yes, I have more.) 
Charles beckoned them over. Logan took the lead, letting a still very confused Max follow him. He finally found his voice once he stepped into the garage. 
“Ok, but what the actual fu-” 
“Language!” you yelled, licking the spoon that was currently being used to eat more ice cream. “Charles, I think the tiramisu could use some more espresso. It’s still a bit too sweet.” 
Charles muttered something, but wrote some words down in a separate yellow notebook that had “LEC” on the front. 
Logan had found a cup of some strawberry and started to eat it. Max stood still but was handed a cup of a familiar green ice cream. He looked up at Charles with wide eyes. 
“I thought you said that this was an abomination to the ice cream society Charlie,” the Dutchman said with a smirk on his face. 
Charles went a bit red. 
“Well, you like it so…” he didn’t finish and just let the words die off. Max just hummed contently as he ate the peppermint flavored ice cream. After Charles finished writing something, he took a deep breath. 
“So, when did the two of you learn Italian?” 
Your mouth was full of ice cream so you nudged Logan. He put the spoon back in the little cup before answering. 
“Y/n and I always thought it’d be funny to learn a language so that we could talk about stuff together and not everyone would know. I wanted to learn Russian but someone couldn’t tell the difference between the vowels.” 
You let out a whine at his confession. 
“Russian also doesn’t sound as sexy as Italian.” 
Without realizing, Max hummed in agreement. Charles went bright red at that as well. 
“Anyway, so when we were in F3 together for a little bit, we started to buckle down and learn it. Took about a year and a half to master it but we did.” 
The Ferrari driver looked a bit pained as he looked down at his cup. If Logan knew Italian, what had he overheard when Charles wasn’t aware. Logan could only guess what he was feeling like right now. 
“Charles, I never overheard anything bad from you. And if I did, it was only constructive criticism. I actually listened to it a lot and it helped with COTA.” 
Logan put a hand on Charles’s shoulder to try to convey that he really didn’t care. The Monegasque was never mean or rude toward him, like some orange drivers were. And Logan thinks that’s why it hurts more. The people who were supposed to be his good friends were mean to him. And the people who he wasn’t even that close with were nicer. It made his brain hurt. 
You took this as a moment to also confess something. 
“Logan also knows Dutch.” 
The American went bright red under Max’s eyes. The Dutchman had a big smirk.  
“Weet je?” (Do you now?) 
Logan didn’t reply in the language. 
“Yes, I know some. I’m not as fluent as you are.” 
“He wanted to learn it so he could understand most of your other interviews where you talked more about the car.” 
“Y/n!” Logan whipped around and yelled. You only shrugged. 
“It’s the truth.” 
Logan then suddenly remembered something. He turned toward Charles. 
“Y/n knows French!” 
A spoon hit his head, but the American didn’t even flinch. This time, it was your turn to turn as red as the Ferrari car behind you. 
Charles cooed at, surprisingly, the both of them. 
“Aw, multi-lingual babies.” 
Your head was in your hands. “I am never talking to you ever again.” 
“Well that’s not helpful,” a male voice sounded at the front of the garage. Michael and Marissa were both smiling at the group of four. You slid off the table that you were currently sitting on. 
“I guess that’s our cue to go. Remember Charles, more espresso, less depresso.” 
You led Logan out of the garage as you followed the siblings. 
“Je te verrai plus tard petite abeille!” (I’ll see you later little bee!) 
You groaned once more after hearing Charles call after you. You glared up at Logan.
“You better be thankful that I love you.” 
Logan put a hand on his heart. “Aww, love you too.” 
“I still won’t hesitate to run you off the track though.” 
“Wouldn’t doubt it tesoro.” 
lamborghini_racing has posted
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lamborghini_racing didn't throw away a good thing
liked by phoenix95, lamborghini, sargeant4ever, and 3,205,859 others
lambo_f1duo ok, but the caption slays 💅
swift_on_track truly is a reputations era, the black fits are fitting
charles_leclerc look, you even came in your little bee car 🐝
phoenix95 I will run you off the track with said bee car, it comes with a stinger
charles_leclerc ok, no more ice cream for you
phoenix95 I TAKE IT BACK PLEASE DONT DO THAT
f1_gridgang man, this team is going to be top of the grid
lambof1 your honor, I fear they slayed too much
venus2 has posted
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venus2 i'd do it over and over and over again if I could
liked by maxverstappen1, sargeantgirlie, oscarpiastri, and 5,305,104 others
lambovsferrari glad to see you back in the paddock bro, wouldn't be the same without you 💪
loscar_no_more BAHAHAHA NOT OSCAR HIDING IN THE LIKES
my_goat_logan you're going to come back even better than before!
phoenix95 picture creds would be preferable 🤨
venus2 oh sorry, thanks max for taking the pictures
maxverstappen1 you're welcome!
phoenix95 I still have Charles in my garage
maxverstappen1 you give him BACK
phoenix95 no.
charles_leclerc THAT'S IT - NO MORE ICE CREAM FOR THE TWO OF YOU (Logan let me out)
venus2 on it
ferrari&lambo_crew by I know that Enzo is rolling in his grave rn and Tonino is on the verge of an aneurism
tswizzlexf1 the I Did Something Bad lyrics >>>>>>
phoenix95 has posted
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phoenix95 it just felt so good
liked by venus2, barnes&noble, dior, lewishamilton, and 5,305,201 others
booktok she's a racer AND A BOOKWORM?? she's just my type
venusxphoenix and Logan's too apparently
y/n.nation I'm digging the new layout and profile
venus2 you're welcome for the books
phoenix95 could have gotten them myself (ily and thank you)
charles_leclerc you're being...too nice 🤨
venus2 she loves me
phoenix95 gag (affectionately) 🫶
charles_leclerc SEE
maxverstappen1 it's her love language
venus2 it's the same as you and max talking about each other to everyone else
charles_leclerc low blow man, low blow 👊😔
rari_lambo_quartet I love them your honor
bee_lamborghini so ready for the first race
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845 notes · View notes
inkspiredwriting · 1 month
Text
Seven Years Lost
Five Hargreeves x Fem!reader
A/N: This was a request. I really hope it's not that bad. To the lovely person who sent me this request, please contact me and tell me what you think about it, even if you don't like it, then I really want to know what you don't like. So that I can do better next time
Warnings: spoilers for season 4 episode 5-6, angst
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Y/n sat on the worn-out couch in Diego’s living room, the sound of muted conversation from the kitchen drifting through the house. The weight of her growing belly reminded her that she wasn’t alone, that there was a small life depending on her now, a life she had been overjoyed to create with Five. But that joy had turned to a hollow ache since she had discovered the truth.
She absently ran her hand over her stomach, trying to find comfort in the small kicks and flutters that had once brought her so much happiness. The baby was all she had left to cling to now.
Diego had been the one to tell her, his voice low and hesitant as he explained what Five had confessed to him. Seven years. Seven years in a different timeline, trapped with Lila. Seven years that had only been hours in their timeline. And in those years, Five had been unfaithful. It was a betrayal Y/n couldn’t understand, a wound that cut deeper than any she had ever known.
“Y/n,” Diego’s voice broke through her thoughts, and she looked up to see him standing in the doorway, concern etched across his face. “You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. We can go somewhere else.”
She shook her head, forcing a small, tight-lipped smile. “It’s fine, Diego. I just… I need some time to think.”
He nodded, understanding, but didn’t push further. “I’m here if you need me,” he said softly before retreating back into the kitchen, leaving her alone with her thoughts.
Y/n closed her eyes, trying to make sense of everything that had happened. She had been so happy, so content in the life she and Five had built together. She had believed in their love, in their future. But now, all of that seemed like a cruel joke.
How could he have done this? How could he have betrayed her, betrayed their love, even if it had been in another timeline, in another life? And yet, as much as she wanted to hate him, to push him away, she couldn’t ignore the part of her that still loved him, that still wanted to believe in the man she had married.
But the reality was inescapable. She had to protect herself, and more importantly, she had to protect their child.
Just as she was about to get up and leave, the door to the living room creaked open, and she looked up to see Five standing there. His face was drawn, pale, with dark circles under his eyes—a man broken by his own actions.
“Y/n,” he said quietly, his voice trembling with regret.
She stiffened, her heart constricting as she met his gaze. “What do you want, Five?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady, though it trembled slightly with the weight of her emotions.
He took a tentative step forward, clutching a leather-bound book tightly in his hands. “I’m so sorry, y/n,” he began, his voice thick with emotion. “I can’t begin to tell you how much I regret what happened. I know I’ve hurt you in a way that might never heal, but I need you to know that I never stopped loving you. Not for a second.”
Y/n looked away, unable to bear the intensity of his gaze. “You say that, but how am I supposed to believe you? You were with her for seven years, Five. Seven years, while I was here, pregnant and thinking about our future.”
“I know,” he whispered, pain evident in his voice. “I know, and I hate myself for it. But right now, we don’t have time. The cleanse… it’s unraveling everything, y/n. And you… you’re the only one who can survive this.”
She looked back at him, her brow furrowing in confusion. “What are you talking about?”
He held out the book, his hands trembling slightly. “This is the key to the train,” he explained, his voice thick with desperation. “It contains all the paths to different timelines—places where you can be safe, where you and our child can live a normal, happy life. You didn’t take the Marigold, y/n. You don’t have to die like the rest of us. You can survive this.”
Y/n stared at the book in his hands, her heart pounding in her chest. She knew about the train, a mysterious force that could take you to alternate timelines, but she had never imagined she would need to use it.
“And what about you?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
Five’s expression crumpled, and he looked away, unable to meet her eyes. “I can’t go with you,” he admitted, his voice cracking. “If I leave, it’ll only make things worse. But you… you and our child… you deserve a chance at a life, y/n. A life without this madness.”
Tears welled up in her eyes as she realized what he was asking of her. He was asking her to leave him, to walk away from everything they had built together, everything they had fought for. But more than that, he was asking her to survive, to protect the life growing inside her.
“Five…” she choked out, her voice trembling with emotion. “I don’t know if I can do this. I don’t know if I can leave you.”
He stepped closer, gently taking her hand and pressing the book into her palm. “You have to,” he said softly, his eyes pleading with her. “This is my last chance to do right by you, to protect you and our child. Please, y/n. Let me save you.”
She looked down at the book in her hands, feeling the weight of the choice before her. It felt impossible—leaving the man she loved, the father of her child, to face whatever fate awaited him. But she also knew that Five was right. She had to survive, for their child’s sake.
Finally, she nodded, tears streaming down her face. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice breaking. “I’ll do it. I’ll take the train.”
Relief washed over Five’s face, but it was tinged with sorrow. “Thank you,” he murmured, his voice thick with emotion. “Thank you, y/n.”
He pulled her into his arms, holding her tightly as if he could somehow imprint the memory of her onto his very soul. She clung to him, sobbing into his shoulder, knowing that this might be the last time she would ever hold him, the last time she would ever feel his arms around her.
After what felt like an eternity, Five gently pulled back, his eyes red and swollen. “We need to go,” he said quietly. “The train won’t wait forever.”
They left Diego’s house together, and blinked to the subway station. It was quiet, only the shallow breathing of Five could be heard, but y/n barely noticed. All she could focus on was the man beside her, the man she loved despite everything, the man she was about to lose.
When they reached the station, Five led her to the hidden platform where the train was waiting. It was a strange, thing, its doors open and waiting.
“This is it,” Five said quietly, his voice trembling. “This is your way out.”
Y/n turned to him, her heart breaking as she looked into his eyes one last time. “I love you,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “No matter what happened, I want you to know that I love you, Five. I always will.”
Five’s eyes filled with tears, and he cupped her face in his hands, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. “I love you too,” he whispered against her lips, his voice breaking. “And I’m so sorry, y/n. I’m so sorry for everything.”
She kissed him back, pouring all of her love, all of her heartbreak, into that one final kiss. Then, with a shaky breath, she pulled away, clutching the book to her chest as she stepped toward the train.
Five watched her go, his heart shattering with every step she took. But he knew this was the only way, the only chance they had to save their child, to give y/n the life she deserved.
As the doors of the train closed behind her, Five’s knees buckled, and he sank to the ground, sobbing as he watched the train disappear into the ether, taking the woman he loved more than anything away from him forever.
He had done what he had to do, but the pain of losing her was more than he could bear. He had saved her, but it felt like he had lost everything in the process.
And as the world around him continued to crumble, Five knew that he would carry the weight of his betrayal, his mistakes, for the rest of his days—however long or short they might be.
But he would take comfort in the knowledge that y/n and their child were safe, that they had a chance at the life he could never give them.
Even if it meant he had to face the end without her.
338 notes · View notes
morning-star-joy · 1 year
Text
a stranger's heart without a home masterlist
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Pairing: rivals to friends with benefits slowburn Joel x F!Reader, Post-Outbreak
Fic Summary: Sleeping with Joel Miller was supposed to be a one time thing. When the older brother of your closest friend showed up in Jackson, you hadn't expected him to stay more than a day. You'd both given into a brief moment of passion before he left, and that was the end of that. It didn't matter, you were never going to see him again. Then Joel returns a few months later, and screws up everything about the comforting life you had established in Jackson.
Fic Tags: One Night Stands, Rivals into Friends with Benefits, Emotional Slow Burn (really slow), Eventual Romance, Mutual Pining Idiots, Angst & Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Found Family (lots of Tommy & Reader and Dina & Reader friendships), Long Chapters
Fic Warnings: Explicit Smut (18+ MDNI), Language, Canon-Typical Violence, Alcohol Use, Age Difference (Reader around 30, Joel 56) Themes of Grief/PTSD/Depression with mentions of death (family members, both Reader and Joel) that can be heavy at times, Specific Warnings in each Chapter
Status: Complete
ao3 link
official art by @cynibuns
tribute edit by @dundienominee
moodboard/graphic by @planet-marz1
Reader fanart by @mydzygro-art
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chapter 1: I am not the only traveler
chapter 2: the holidays linger like bad perfume
chapter 3: do I wanna know if this feeling flows both ways (18+ Smut)
chapter 4: there it is again, that funny feeling
chapter 5: break the silence; damn the dark, damn the light
chapter 6: and I'll never see you again if I can help it (18+ Smut)
chapter 7: look at us, you and I, back at it again (18+ Smut)
chapter 8: maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway
chapter 9: I thought that you’d be here by now (18+ Smut)
chapter 10: can the killer in me tame the fire in you?
chapter 11: this slope is treacherous, this path is reckless (18+ Smut)
chapter 12: you take what you get, and you turn it into honesty
chapter 13: burned out flames should never reignite, but I thought you might take me home (18+ Smut)
chapter 14: he built a fire just to keep me warm
chapter 15: speak to me until your history’s no mystery to me
chapter 16: and it feels good to be known so well (18+ Smut)
chapter 17: baby, it's Halloween, and we can be anything (18+ Smut)
chapter 18: yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you (18+ Smut)
chapter 19: either I'm careless or I wanna get caught (18+ Smut)
chapter 20: with your boots beneath my bed; forever is the sweetest con (18+ Smut)
epilogue (18+ Smut)
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(listed in order of how they occur after the main fic)
morning after chapter 20
waking up to oral (18+ Smut)
painfully domestic (kisses to get their attention)
lingerie & breeding kink (18+ Smut)
(epilogue takes place here)
half-asleep, half-awake (Joel POV companion piece to main fic)
not much I need (nonsexual intimacy)
kissing scars
easy, plaid-shirt mornings (18+ Smut)
would it be enough if I could never give you peace? (Reader's anxiety)
a feeling so peculiar (seasonal depression)
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chapter 13 sneak peek (Jealous!Joel's POV Date Scene)
chapter 13 scene (Jealous!Joel Smut after Date 18+)
chapter 13 cut endings (Angst af)
chapter 14 sneak peek (Reflection Joel's POV)
chapter 15 sneak peek (Totally Casual Drinks Between Friends)
chapter 16 sneak peek (Dina and Ellie Plan)
chapter 17 sneak peek (The Dance)
chapter 18 sneak peek (Joel Pines for You)
chapter 18 secret scene (Tommy finally fucking figures it out)
chapter 19 sneak peek (Tommy and Reader)
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fic playlist
MC playlist
Taylor-coded MC playlist (for my fellow Swifties!)
Joel POV playlist
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mylittleredgirl · 6 months
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i know some of you have been pressing your faces to the glass waiting for me to see this one in particular SO i saw "the nurses" the other night and am still thinking about it!!
i love love love it when characters get pushed to a point where you can almost see their childhood selves pop out, like are they even talking about what's happening right now? or are their 12-year-old hearts just screaming?? i love that margaret's outburst is both irrational (the hostile work environment is coming from inside the house; i was yelling at my tv "baby it's your fault!!!") and so so honest.
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[this turned into a bit of a character thesis, so not only is there a readmore, there will also be a reblog soon with the rest of the post because i maxed out the image limit] [edit: part ii now in the reblogs!]
this whole time, margaret has treated her subordinates with a heavy hand because she thinks it's the right and fair thing to do. the rules say this is how it works!
she maintains a high standard of excellence in brutal circumstances, but she's also reactive, moody, and unforgiving. she's often shown on the edge of losing control and authority, she inflames situations by overreacting, and the thing she punishes most egregiously is disrespect (toward frank, toward the army, toward herself). she intentionally underlines the distance between herself and the other nurses at every turn.
from season 3 "there's nothing like a nurse": [all IDs in alt]
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really, everything she thinks and does comes from a place of "they're not supposed to like me," but the childish part of her that is completely unable to see her own behavior is confused and hurt because "i'm just doing my job so why don’t they like me???"
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it's her job to maintain discipline, but especially here in 4077-land, she doesn't have to lead with the whip. henry was beloved because he was an overly permissive clown, which will never be her speed, but colonel potter has all the same training as she does. he's loved and respected as the Good Regular Army Guy because he leads with discernment and mutual respect.
it's easier for him. he's more experienced, he's respected and supported from above and below, and he has a calm temperament — which isn't nothing.
from season 4 "the interview":
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whether she's aware of this as a problem or not, we at home can see how margaret's inability to control her emotional reactivity causes her as much grief as her inability to control other people.
if she were capable of laughing off small slights, hawkeye and trapper wouldn't have used her as a chew toy so much, and henry might have taken her real concerns more seriously if they weren't lost in the noise of daily fits, you know? she rarely started it, so i'm not blaming her for the hostile chaos circus of seasons 1-3, but i am saying she would have had a better time if she knew how to take a few deep breaths.
this description from the script, after the near-brawl in the nurses' tent in act one, is basically her character thesis statement:
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and here, when she's reacting fully emotionally, the truth comes out! the reason that she won't be flexible and show compassion to the nurses isn't because of the rules, but because they're mean to her!!
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that's obviously a very bad place to lead from. she has enormous institutional power over them, including controlling their freedom of movement, but she feels like all the other girls in school are hanging out together and they hate her. because they are! and they do! the fight in act one boils over when they make fun of her hair, and that sent all of them back to middle school.
and in many ways, that's where margaret's emotional maturity is stuck (which is, i think, why i find her so endearing). she can't see herself. she knows they don't like her, trust her, or want her around, but she doesn't understand how she dug this hole herself, or how to get out of it.
to add insult to jealous injury, one of the nurses (mary jo, who gets between margaret and baker to stop the fight and takes care of the others in different ways) is margaret's age, and the others look to her as their chosen leader and personal support.
and i'm sure margaret had NO IDEA this was the messy truth until she heard it come out of her mouth.
and her emotionally breaking on the "one lousy cup of coffee" in particular…
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i wonder, how often does some version of that first tent scene happen? does she deliver their assignments every night? she walks in already defensive, they immediately stop laughing, and then... she either finds a reason to scold them or they ice her out until she leaves. (and they probably start laughing again as soon as she does!)
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from her perspective, when she arrived for the dreaded sleepover and they turned out the lights the minute she walked in, it's like they cancelled the nightly coffee klatch just to avoid spending one social minute with her.
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i also think the nurses are right when they assumed that she wouldn't have accepted an invitation to hang out with them (and might even have snapped at them for being inappropriate for asking). she doesn't cross that emotional line, even when she should — she didn't know gaynor was spiraling after losing so many patients in a row, and didn't respond compassionately when she learned.
has she ever invited them for coffee or a friendly chat? no.
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...... but her circumstances have recently changed.
[reblog with the rest of it is here!]
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