#we were each other's safety

[cybermagusnex]

I showed my roommate the super old videos of my friends and I from high school that are still on YouTube. I've been In My Feels since last night.

[canarydarity]

having a normal one watching Bdubs lim life tonight and thinking about how when Bdubs betrayed Tango in last life, Skizz told Tango that for the sake of team best he had to go and forgive him.

But when Bdubs boogey kills Skizz in lim life before team ties is even really formed, Skizz is allowed to have it out for Bdubs for almost the entire first half of the season, even when the clockers ally with them and it would've been easier to let sleeping dogs lie.

Tango, the perpetually extraneous and undervalued member of his alliances...the too often shoved aside and betrayed...being told it was his duty to the team to forgive bdubs and move on....

But no one—especially not Tango—tried to tell Skizz to let it go.

[forestgreenlesbian]

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[insignificant457]

Darrow going after sevro despite the fact that he knows it’s most likely a suicide mission…sevro staying in the vents despite the fact that he could steal a ship and save himself because he knows Darrow will come for him and he can’t let him walk into that trap…

[widowshill]

r/v + matching outfits.

[the-punforgiven]

God I fucking love mixed weapon fighting so much, just being able to go at it with the thing you're most comfortable with against someone else using the thing they're most comfortable with is so cool and awesome, coming up with strategies to a weapon set you don't use and testing them against someone doing the same, it's so rad tbh

Makes me sad that so many places I've fought in regard it as like, an afterthought at best

[aroacedavestrider]

anyway i was gonna make a big long post about this but its 1:30am and im tired lmao. so has anyone noticed the insane similarities between all this anti-transmasc stuff and the entire aspec exclusionist movement or is that just me on my aroace trans dude shit

like. i dunno. the misconstruing of the concepts of transandromisia and aphobia in general being made out to “oppress other identities”, or just the downplaying / dismissal of our group-specific issues altogether, or insisting that these specific issues are just the results of some broader, equally shitty concept, or saying that we have “privilege” comparable to majority groups (cis men, straight people) despite being excluded / ridiculed / persecuted by those same groups, or the fact that when we talk about these issues were reduced to like “whiny little white teenage uwu tumblr blogger” instead of taken seriously, or that while real people in our communities are getting hurt or killed people are focusing on whether the terms we use are #unproblematic enough instead

idk is that just me? am i hallucinating or am i experiencing the 2018 exclusionist movement all over again except make it #trans

[hatake]

something that really sucks about prolonged loneliness is feeling so desperate for emotional intimacy and then also so closed off to it because you're used to the isolation. it's an exhausting circular pattern and i hate it.

[mossy-covered-bones]

I openly use it/its alongside they/he in a queer org i help run irl. Since i figure if im open abt that other people will be less nervous abt asking people to use it/its or neopronouns and shit like that. And i wasnt really expecting people to use it for me, since lotsa people arent comfortable w that and i had other options. And let me tell ya how cool it is to see a newer member show up and just go ‘oh im like you, i use he/it!” And see one of my fellow exec, in a message where she had exactly one pronoun referring to me, use it. Its so fucking nice, let me tell you, i love being Vocally Queer :]

[mail-forwarding]

I know the Land of Wa gate is positively glutted with transients, but still, where's my babygirl Kajiwara Kagetoki?

"Defected from the Taira" Kagetoki. "Got jealous over and offended by a dude nearly twenty years his junior" Kagetoki. "Slandered his lord's younger brother to death" Kagetoki. "His lord's mind-reader and mouthpiece and right hand man and most trusted adviser" Kagetoki. "Was slandered to death in turn after Yoritomo dies" Kagetoki.

I think Yoritomo's 5-star Research File vaguely alludes to him (? see below, emphasis mine), but neither Yoritomo nor Oniwaka mention him so he probably doesn't exist in Housamo lore. But what if he did! Imagine the antics and hilarity they could get up to! (And the angst too but I think the antics would be funnier.) LW where's my lore!!!

"Doesn't get along well with those who have a wild disposition or are prone to deep jealousy [...]"

[aftermathing]

I'm in so much pain it's embarrassing. I'm going to look back on these memories of me writhing alone too afraid to sleep biting my knuckles crying about nothing and laugh.

[gender-euphowrya]

the way some shops and restaurants have completely unsafed themselves to go back to their pre-covid no protections no masking no hand sani Just Back To Previously Like It Never Happened when like. It was such a blessing that we'd taken steps towards a more fucking sanitary environment.

[mothmansboyfriend]

Someone having a bad attitude/rude articulation is not the same as someone being personally mean/harmful/offensive to you.

If you can walk away from a discussion confident that neither of you said anything worth wishing you could take back then congratulations: you’ve had the real life equivalent of a negative friendliness action in the Sims and there are NO permanent negative bodily consequences! Get back on the horse, your next social interaction with someone else could easily be far better.

My hands get tense and painful when I feel socially rejected, I can fully understand it sucks bad to receive attitude you feel undeserving of especially when you perceive yourself as working hard for unconscious social praise. But just like two autistics with different stimulation needs can’t both be happy in the exact same environment “made for autistics”, not everyone can have a pleasant reaction in a social convention “meant to be pleasant” because people can’t control their physical symptoms of frustration any more than I can control that my mind goes blank and I stutter or go silent when I’m genuinely (and irrationally) scared about answering simple questions.

As humans we are all owed common decency. Common decency is not semi-conditional kindness. It’s just respect for the unknown of a person. Offering basic comforts/requirements as you feel is natural, non-threatening environment for your personal life, acknowledging you exist when you arrive and wishing you well when you depart. That is common decency. Smiling, speaking in a specific tone, and forcing your body language to work for the comfort of a group rather than flow naturally as you react to stimuli, that is kindness. It’s nice to receive kind actions from strangers, but no one is owed these things. Even if you paid for a burger or got lost in the supermarket for two hours.

[butterflysonnets]

i miss my ex

[nothorses]

I was talking with my dad recently & we got on the topic of People Thinking They Can't Do Things, and like, he is at his core a well-intentioned person who genuinely wants the best for others, but he has definitely internalized some harmful ideas a la "anyone can do anything, the only thing stopping them is their own attitude". so I was like. I see where you're coming from, but let me tell you a story.

last year, I worked with 10 year olds- many of whom had never really spent time outdoors- in an outdoor education program where they came to spend a whole week doing shit outside in nature. the top two scariest experiences for these kids were 1) very tall metal tower, and 2) walking outside at night in the dark with no flashlights.

I tried a lot of different things to persuade them all to join me for each experience: I presented it with enthusiasm and passion, I did physical demonstrations and scientific explanations to help them understands how safe it was, I voiced my absolute commitment to their safety, I invited them to brainstorm ways to help each other and themselves feel safe, etc.

generally I always had at least 2-3 kids out of about 10 who opted out, or if they did join me, would spend the entire experience crying and freaking out. when it was over, they would conclude that even though they did not die- or even get hurt- it was so scary that it wasn't worth it and they never wanted to do it again.

then I changed the question I asked. instead of asking them to tell me whether they could do it or couldn't do it, I asked them to raise their hand for one of three options:

You can definitely do this.

It will be hard or scary or uncomfortable, but you can try to do this.

It will definitely be too hard, scary, or uncomfortable, and you cannot or should not try to do this.

suddenly, almost nobody was opting out of these experiences.

they would try, even if they were scared, because they know that being scared didn't necessarily mean that they couldn't do it at all. and more importantly, they knew that if they needed to stop, that was an option; they weren't trapped in their decision to try.

and the real takeaway here, for me, is in the nuance: people need to be able to challenge themselves and to be uncomfortable in order to grow, and people need to be able to opt out in order for opting in to be a safe option.

[tenok]

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