#we were def dating? you were my longest relationship- there was no one AFTER you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deeeelightfuldee · 3 years ago

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Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say? ooooof. I don’t think i’d buy that. I hardly think people who DO show they have feelings for me are being truthful, so I doubt that.

Do you play video games? haven’t in some time, but I want to get back into it a little.

Do you spend a lot of time with family? oh heck yeah. I have a really great family.

Is your house more than two stories tall? nah, it’s the two stories with a basement.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you? I will never raise my hands to another human being. I once dated someone who was a veteran and had severe ptsd. we were napping one time and he got aggressive. that wasn’t HIM though.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!) physically, I suppose I have nice eyes and a decent smile. personality wise, I am warm, friendly, loving, supportive, sometimes funny, very loyal.

What color is your hairbrush/comb? depends which one I use. I have a pink one right now.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm? I honestly haven’t got a clue. I haven’t been let out of my room in 2 weeks.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive? yes. it’s weird.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged? DEF not. he has been asking me out since we worked together maybeeeee.. 8-9 years ago?

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you? yes! I am trying to learn how to undo that. it’s not that I don’t want to care about him, but I know and can soooooooo clearly see that he doesn’t care anymore, and it is extremely emotionally draining to watch.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female? I wanna say female but idk

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you? scott

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate? couple days ago.

Do you play any games on Facebook? Nope.

What would you like to get a degree in? I have two degrees -- one in psych and one in SLP.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? ahahahaha yes. almost always wide awake from 3-6

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game? typically more in the movie/show or book mood.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater? Both. nothing like that buttery, salty goodness that obvs requires an enormous drink

What genre of films do you like the best? either make me EXTREMELY sad, or romantic.

How many bank accounts do you have? 2

Have you ever had the flu? Yeah.

What is your goal for the next few months? i have several. the only one that can/will be public right now, is to get my lungs back to functioning as they were.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life? yes. I have very bad breathing during sleep. I have had 11 sleep studies done, because my breathing will just stop randomly, which luckily my brain wakes me. it doesn’t really affect my like severely.. I function normally. but shoooooot, if I got normal levels of sleep i’d be a force to be reckoned with.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience. Yes. It was AWFUL. vomiting for 2 days straight. it was so gross.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex. smart and romantic.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it? hmm. I think there have been times where i’ve let people have more access to me than they should have had. or there have definitely been times I’ve been used in school groups. But honestly, I tend to be protective of myself. I stop when I feel enough is enough.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? I would want either Bill to not die, or for her to be spoiled incessantly by someone else.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? psh. no. my friends are all tiny which is just not fun.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you? Yeah. i found it so fun.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see? ahahahaha no.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping? mopping. i hate doing the floors.

Did you pull a senior prank? Not really advised when a homeschooler.

Did you graduate? Yes. that was a rough, rough day.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship? Nope

What was the last song you listened to? i think it was Happier than Ever by billie eilish. the lyrics are ... woof.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision? 20/12 -- the last time I had insurance anyway.

Is fashion one of your interests? honestly, if I had money, it would be. but it isnt right now.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone? It’s getting harder and harder to believe that will be the case. I knowwwww I need to start dating, but every time I go to open up an app, I hesitate and chicken out. I just was so happy before.. its hard to think I could be able to offer anything to anyone right now.

Do you care what people think? veryyyyyy few people. I care about the thoughts of those I genuinely love and respect. However, I still ensure I’m protecting myself regardless.

Is acting something you enjoy? No.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained? I have a bum knee, so I sprain that from time to time. I last broke a finger.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours? ahahahaha yes. but years ago. never because of mine.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language? No. I don’t cuss.

Whose house, other than yours and your families’, are you most comfortable at? probably either nathan’s or em’s.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you? alix’s family used to yell at me a lot for being fat. that used to mess me up.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? soccer. no, i found the endless running to be unnecessary.

Did you ever watch the show Full House? yup

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry? no, thats so out-of-touch with reality

Have you ever burned someone’s picture? yes, i have.

What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on? i think it was 8 hours. I hate hate hate hikes. But, thats because I have really weak lungs, so my doctor says it’s like lighting them on fire.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo? No.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? kile

Do your parents smoke cigarettes? my mom hasn’t since a teenager. I think my dad does still. though, i dunno for certain.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it? uhhhh, PTK honors society

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want. Any reptile or insect. <<<< same

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller? Taller.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Yes. very much so.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? No, i respect people who are truthful saying they either try not to judge, or that they do judge despite their desire to stop.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in? sooooooo much. it’s small town-y, quiet, safe, lots of trees, family close by.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during? ps i love you will always shatter my heart.

What’s your favorite restaurant? buona or ashford

Is there a dessert you don’t like? im not wild about pastries.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it? hmmm maybe that one mrs. pettigrews home for peculiar children.

Underwater or outer space? i’m fascinated by both. typically more interested in the water.

Dogs or cats? both. all of them.

Kittens or puppies? kittens.

Bird watching or whale watching? whales!!!!!!!!

What was your best subject in school? in HS probably history. or science. in college, psych or neuro.

What was your worst subject in school? Math. always freakin’ math.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school? Uhhh. hm. i don’t think anything. I liked my experience.

Who is your fashion icon? nada.

Diamonds or pearls? Both are nice. I love pearl stud earrings and I really want a simple, one pearl necklace. I am kinda ruined for diamonds for some time. My favorite rings and necklace were diamonds from kile and I just cant bring myself to wear those anymore.

What color dress did you wear to prom? pink

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now? oh sure. I am envious of those with bangin’ bods. I’m envious of those who have great finances. I am envious of those who live life married to their love. I’m envious of people who see kile regularly. But there are difficulties that come with any of those situations.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out? not long ago. the whole crushing reality of losing kile just destroyed me. I’m OK now.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call? ahahahahah. I just reject all calls.

Who are you closest to? My mom and nathan rn.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience? no

Are you currently sad about anything? several things have recently been really saddening, but I’m ok. Ill get thru it.

Have you had any form of exercise today? Its going to be some time before I’m cleared for that. I almost faint from taking a shower and I have to be on oxygen after doing the one flight of stairs.

Can you handle blood? doesn’t bother me at all.

Has any place hired you underage for a job? yes. I mean technically, I was legal to work in that I was 17, but the company didn’t want to hire younger than 18.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon? not like in public, but at a house or gun range, yes.

Are you currently searching for a job? soon.

Does eating breakfast make you sick? i’m never ever ever hungry for it. I know i should, but its the worst. I don’t even like breakfast foods.

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lovely-nctzen · 5 years ago

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can we still be friends • twelve

↬ After splitting up, Johnny and Y/N struggle to detach their lives from one another. Their relationship as a couple lasted for almost five years until they both decided to breakup. As they start dating other people the ex-couple consistently check on each other under the guise of "friendship." Only to find out that one of them is still in love with the other.

Grabbing his keys, Johnny walked out of the apartment with a heavy heart. He kicked a nearby rock before getting into his car. Where was he going to stay now? I mean he could ask Jaehyun or the other guys, but he feels like he’ll be a burden to them. He sighed, turning on the engine before driving off. He turned on the radio and blasted sad music, earning looks from other drivers. Looking at the rear-view mirror, he couldn’t see the apartment anymore which only made him even more heartbroken.

It barely hit 10 minutes before Johnny’s car started to break down. It was a hand-me down car from his father and although he tried to keep it in good condition, it was time for the car to retire. “Not now. Please, not now!” The car came to a complete stop resulting in other drivers to honking their horns at him. It also didn’t help that he was stuck in the middle of a thunderstorm either. He turned on his hazard lights before furiously hitting the steering wheel of his car. And it wasn’t long before tears began streaming down his face.

Back at the apartment, Y/N changed her clothes into something comfortable and pulled the covers over her body. She stared at the ceiling for the longest time, counting all the glow in the dark stars she placed down ever since they rented the place. Once there were no more stars to count, Y/N stared at the empty space next to her thinking about all the times she spent with Johnny. Closing her eyes, she tried to forget about him. She tossed and turned all night before removing the covers from her body. She couldn’t seep knowing that things were going to change between the two of them. Sometimes her thoughts trail over to Johnny when she doesn’t want it to, but she knows that it can’t be helped. Time can only help them get over each other.

Three months have passed and Y/N is still stressed as ever. To help keep the apartment, she’s been looking for another job, staying overtime at the office, and also managing to stay in university. She doesn’t see Mark or Lucas most of the time because she’s so busy, but whenever they do hang out, they’ve been pushing her to take care of herself first and meet someone new. But as much as she wants to, she doesn’t have the time.

However for Johnny, it was a little different. The boys drag him to the club every weekend to meet someone, but even though Johnny appreciated the thought, he actually got a job interview the next morning. However, this girl Cindy, was keeping him from leaving. She kept dragging him to the dance floor to have fun, but Johnny was trying his best to escape from her clutches. “Cindy, I have to go.” Shaking her head, she pulled on his arm before taking a sip from her cocktail. “No, no, no. Stay.” After many attempts, Johnny managed to pry his arm away from her. “I have an early job interview.” Cindy pouted her lips and drunkenly attempted to grab his arm once again. “Don’t be boring, it’s just a job interview. Come on, you need this. Let’s have fun!” She raised her glass to his lips and ushered him to take a sip. “Just one sip.” He complied and did as he was told and took a sip from her glass, but once he finished, he moved his face away, but Cindy pushed the glass closer to him. “Another one, just one more.”

It wasn’t long before Cindy got completely plastered and Johnny had to drag her out of the club and drive her back to his place. Once he opened the door, Cindy stumbled into his apartment with a drink in hand before plopping herself onto his bed. “I’m so drunk! Oh my god! Dude, that was so much fun!” Johnny quietly shushed her and told her that she would wake up his friends, but she didn’t listen. Cindy continued to speak while taking off her jacket. “Did you see the girl with Dino? Ooh, I’m going to sleep here.” “Cindy, my roommates-” “I’m drunk, I’m staying here.” Johnny chuckled awkwardly before clapping is hands together. “Cindy no. I have an interview in the morning.” She continued to struggle taking off her jacket as she threw a comeback at him. “Interview your face, dude!” Once she took off her shoes and jacket, she laid down on his bed and shushed him many times no matter how hard he tried to kick her out. With his hands on the back of his neck, he knew that he was screwed. At this point he gave up and went to bed.

When it finally hit morning, Johnny’s alarm went off exactly at 8 in the morning, but he never woke up. Cindy turned off his alarm and continued to go back to sleep. Time passed and Johnny still hasn’t woken up, but when he did, it was already noon. He had missed his job interview. He removed Cindy’s arm off his chest and shot out of bed, rubbing his eyes and putting on his glasses. Although he was already late, he still got dressed and ran to the building. However, they wouldn’t let him in as he was already late to the interview and the CEO of the company had already left. He tried to reschedule, but the lady at the front desk told him that he would have to speak with the CEO himself about rescheduling. Johnny nodded his head and thanked the woman. He sighed and walked out, distraught.

But, Johnny wasn’t the only person late, Y/N was late for her date with Trevor. She walked into the restaurant slightly out of breath, but still looking decent enough for the date. “Trev! Hey, I’m sorry.” He stood up to greet her before settling back down in his seat. “Have you been waiting long?” His facial expression was stoic, but he didn’t let it show. “Yeah, since twelve.” She gave him an apologetic smile before apologizing once again, “Sorry, the traffic was bad plus it rained.” He gave her look to say ‘are you kidding me’ before replying back to her. “Isn’t traffic always bad? I mean, this is Seoul, right? What time did you leave?” Her face said, ‘oh fuck’, but her voice remained calm. “I left around eleven.” Trevor nodded his head and said, “Well, maybe you should have left earlier.” Y/N slightly frowned at his comment and awkwardly took a sip from her water. It was silent between the two of them, but Y/N’s frown changed to an awkward smile as the two of them ate their pasta. Well, that date didn’t go as planned.

A couple days had passed and Y/N needed to go grocery shopping, but what she didn’t know was that Johnny was going to be there as well. As she was looking through the aisles, Johnny was looking at snacks he could munch on with the rest of the guys. She pushed her caught towards his direction and stopped right behind him. “Hey, Johnny.” He turned around, slightly surprised to see her there. “Oh, Y/N.” “How are you?” she asked with a friendly smile. “I’m okay,” he said as he avoided eye contact with her. Before Y/N could ask him anything else, Cindy walked over with a bunch of noodles in her arms. “Oh my god, Johnny! Look at what I got! I love noodles!” Cindy exclaimed, placing the noodles in the cart. Once she was done, she looked up and noticed Y/N standing in front of her and introduced herself. “Hi, I’m Cindy.” “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you,” Y/N replied, shaking her hand. Who is she to Johnny? Are the friends, dating, friends with benefits? As much as she wanted to know, she wouldn’t dare ask him. But her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Cindy complimenting her outfit. “I love your top. Is that a kimono?” Y/N rolled her eyes internally. Was she really asking her if her top was a kimono? Like how dense could she be to ask a question like that. But, Y/N faked a laugh and told her that she didn’t know. Cindy nodded her head before turning to face Johnny with her hand on his shoulder. “I have a genius idea, Johnny. We should go get beer.” Johnny didn’t even want to go drinking, but he agreed to Cindy’s proposal . “Yeah sure. I guess I’ll see you Y/N,” he stated before pushing the cart towards the check-out area. Y/N nodded her head and bid them farewell, biting her lip before going the other direction and she thought to herself, “I guess I should drink too.”

That afternoon Y/N finished shopping and did her laundry all alone in her empty apartment. Picking up a pink shirt with a cute robot logo on it, it reminded her of Johnny and once again becoming sad at the thought of him. It was her one of her many flaws; she can’t seem to let go. Pulling the shirt close to her chest, she smiled sadly. Maybe she could pay him and Jaehyun a visit? And that’s exactly what she did. She knocked on the door hoping to see Johnny, but it was Jaehyun that answered instead. Upon opening said door, Jaehyun was surprised to see Y/N standing there. “Y/N! W-what’s up? “ he asked as he watched Y/N peer into the living room. “How are you, Jae? Is Johnny here?” “Johnny? Oh he’s not here. Why?” She gave him a look and attempted to peer into the room, but Jaehyun was doing his best not to let her see. “Uh Johnny doesn’t live here.” She gave him a smile and asked, “Then where is he?” Jaehyun knew what Y/N was getting at and he didn’t want them to get hurt again. He cared for them both, and keeping them apart was the best choice. “Y/N...Johnny asked me not to tell you, okay? So...Bro code, okay?” Y/N sighed and pouted her lips at his answer. “What a pity! I brought pizza!” Jaehyun grinned at her attempt to bribe him, but he wouldn’t budge. “Even with pizza, I still won’t tell you, Y/N.” Opening the box of pizza, she gave a little whiff and sighed in content. “Okay, I’ll just eat this then.” Y/N held the opened box of pizza closer to his face and that’s when Jaehyun started biting his lip. He was so close to telling her where Johnny was at. Staring at the slice of pizza, he watched her eat a slice. “So tell me Jae, pizza or bro code?” He gave a look of defeat and took the pizza box from her hand. “Fine, you win. Come on.” And that’s when the both of them arrived at Johnny’s place.

Jaehyun knocked on his door, with the pizza box in his hand and waited for Johnny to open the door. And when he did open the door, he gave Jaehyun a look of disappointment and betrayal. He looked at a sheepish looking Y/N before looking back at Jaehyun. “Pizza?” Jaehyun asked, with a sheepish look as well. Johnny didn’t give him an answer, but continued to stare at Y/N. “Awkward,” Jaehyun said to himself as he ate a slice of pizza before running off. Johnny continued to look at Y/N before sighing.

“Y/N...”

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tag list: @suh-duction @jaehyunluvcult @skittlez-area512 @jaeminslatte

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carbootsoul · 4 years ago

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i was tagged by @katarahairloopies!!! thank u :mwah:

name: leo! @/zeitgeistofnow on ao3, @lazypigeon & @timetohope on here, altho i’m considering uh switching back to not having an art blog :/ i have to think abt it.

fandom(s): ace attorney is my main one rn bc i’m replaying the games with a friend of mine and it’s reminding me how invested i am in the characters!! a lot of my recent fic is atla stuff, altho i’ve been distancing myself from the fandom bc i’ve kinda exhausted my interest in it. finally i’ve been reading a lot of mp100 fic but i don’t think i’ll ever write for it. i just love how dumb all the characters r (with the dubious exception of ritsu)

where you post: ao3!! tbh i always get suprised when people say they write/read fic on any other platform like i haven’t messed around w wattpad or ff.net since middle school... catch up........

most popular oneshot: going just by “one chapter” as the definition of a oneshot, the firestarters, bc it’s fluffy and modern au :) i wouldn’t necessarily call it a oneshot tho bc to me a oneshot shows like, one scene? so like by my definition and your sweet sweet sun makes me crazy (i wanna lay you down and see how you amaze me is my most popular!! (also @ kit u thought UR fic titles were unnecessarily long??? i’ve hit the ao3 LIMIT for characters in titles. it’s about the aesthetic

most popular multichapter fic: sdkjflakjlkj it’s two crowned kings; and one that stood alone, which is a w359 fic i wrote back in late 2017. it’s literally the last fic i haven’t orphaned from when i actually wrote podcast fic (i have 4 other podcast fics but they were all borne out of nostalgia and written after i stopped participating in the fandom). i rewrote all but the last chapter? the last two? about a year ago and i fucked up halfway through so like chapter 6 and 7 are repeated and there’s something missing but i’m too lazy to fix it. no one’s going to read it now anyway :) it WAS the top minlace fic for a little while tho which i take great pride in.

favorite story you’ve written so far: oh that’s a hard question akfsldkfj i honestly like most of them!! and i write a LOT so there’s a lot to choose from. tonight, we are young is def one of my favorites- it was fun to write and i got to explore the ways zuko and yue r similar, which i LOVE to do outside of a zukka/yukka view. you can lean on my arm as you break my heart is one that i’m really proud of? the whole “cooking as an expression of bato’s love” is definitely some of my favorites. a lot of my ace attorney fics would be categoried as my favorites if i hadn’t improved, too, if that makes sense. like they’re no long my favorites because i can see where my writing is shitty and it bothers me, but if i had written them a month ago they’d be my favorite.

fic you were nervous to post: figures 1-5: killing gods def!! it’s a lot more purple-prose-y than most of my fics and it was also written before i’d kinda like emersed myself in the atla fandom so i didn’t have as good a grasp on the general understanding of zuko’s character as i do now. tbh it’s one i’m rly happy w tho!! i have a few people leave really nice comments on it and rereading them makes me really happy. also it was the start of me hating the position of fire lord and being at least passively anti-it in my fics.

how you choose your titles: they’re almost all song lyrics!! only 14 of my 50 words AREN’T song lyrics and about half of those are from before i started writing ace attorney fic lol. sometimes i go into a fic with a song in mind for the vibes and then i usually go with lyrics from that (like in ‘cuz we’re the greatest /they’ll hang us in the louvre), but otherwise i usually pick an artist i’ve been listening to and go through their songs until i find a lyric that fits. sometimes the lyric doesn’t even really fit the fic and i just chose it at random or because i searching up the word “fly” in my spotify library or whatever. honestly i like coming up with titles? i know a lot of fic writers hate it but being able to just use song lyrics is v soothing for me and while i know that most people won’t search out a song just bc it’s a fic title like.. seeing that the title of a fic is a hozier lyric does affect how i read it and i kinda like that.

do you outline? i outline my long form/multichaptered fics with varying strictness. usually anything over ~8k will have some kind of outline. sometimes i go into it with every single scene planned out, sometimes it’s just notes on the side of the google doc that say “it's about MORE family. about how it's not betraying your existing family to find more” and “scenes i want to include: [...]” and “vampires... ngl kinda hot.” i’m trying to outline super strictly less bc i’ve found it’s less fun? but i do try to keep a plot arc in mind. since most of my fics are more character-driven than plot-driven, that usually just means keeping track of what character development i want to happen or what is motiviating the characters.

complete: um everything posted on ao3 i guess. also the MULTITUDE of orphaned fics out there asksfjldkj i always click ‘leave my pseud on’ so if u look up my username you see all of my fics and then a. lot of other ones.

in progress: - a fic titled ‘dad phoenix’ that is actually just a no DL-6 au with defense attorney miles edgeworth and single dad bartender phoenix where neither of them want to date for A While but phoenix gets wrapped up in one of miles’s cases. it’s about family. it’s about writing teenagers. it’s about the background franmaya which is ALWAYS what i’m here for in wrightworth fics - a franmaya werewolf/vampire au because i’m ~gay~ and love rivals to lovers and also franziska and maya both being angry their older brothers r dating each other. - my secret santa fic!! which i can’t talk about much but it does feature toph and zuko and also piandao and jeong jeong???? idk where they came from but they are Part Of The Fic Now also i forgot iroh existed for half the fic and wrote piandao as zuko’s father figure and now i’m in too deep. - a 5+1 bakoda fic (maybe a bato/hakoda/kay fic??? i need to decide. that’s part of why this fic is still incomplete bc i can’t decide which relationship dynamic i prefer) that’s 5 times bato said he loves hakoda and one time hakoda said it back. possibly i have already written him saying i love u back and i need to change the title a little. - retail au klapollo where klavier works at an overpriced boutique and apollo comes in to buy earrings for nahyuta’s birthday. klavier gives him a punch card (one that the store doesn’t actually offer anymore as a bid to get apollo to come back) and all of apollo’s family come in to use the punch card and also give klavier variations on the shovel talk/find out if he’s actually into apollo. - a LOT of atla fics that i don’t think i’ll ever finish :(

coming soon/not yet started: - i want to write some blackmadhi bc they’re.. cute..... and it’s a good excuse to also write athena and i love her - my stuff for yueki week!!! i have NOT prepped enough but hopefully i’ll remember in time! i wrote the prompts in a way that kinda set up stuff i’ve already wanted to write (don’t look at me lol) so hopefully i’ll get at least two or three fics finished in time. - i want to rewrite the wrightworth fic i have about them not getting married bc it was interesting and i like what i wrote about but i think i could have written it better and made it more interesting. rewriting fics is hard tho bc i’m never sure if it makes sense to just edit in the new work or to repost it? and then if u repost it do u delete the old one? conflicting so i might just not

do you accept prompts? totally!!! a disclaimer tho i’m not super into writing atla stuff anymore (most of the atla stuff i’m still writing is something i made a commitment to finish) so if your prompt is an atla one i probably won’t do it :/ basically anything else is fair game tho!! podcasts/aa/sa/uh i don’t remember anything else but like if you search a fandom on my blog and come up with more than two posts about it chances r i’d be happy to write fic for it!

upcoming work that you’re most excited about: oh huh i mean probably the no dl-6 au!!! it’s the longest ace attorney fic i’ve written already and since it’s wrightworth it’ll get more attention than any franmaya fic i write. my standards r so high now tho after getting to much feedback from atla fans... love u all... obviously i have no choice but to pressure my atla mutuals into playing ace attorney. pls ask abt it bc i WIll Give You A Sales Pitch about why you’d like it in relation to atla

tagging: i’m not rly tagging anyone!!! @deadflora if you still consider urself a fic writer also consider urself tagged! also any of my other mutuals who write fic i just can’t think of anyone rn

#leo.txt #thank u!! i think i wrote a lot for this lol #but literally ive been so bored i don't have anything better to do

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saltyaro · 5 years ago

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You know, I’ve been replaying the Ace Attorney games lately. At first I was bored and out of nowhere, I redid Dual destinies just because I hadn’t in a long time. Which led me to play the first game again (mainly for the Edgeworth case I love it so much tbh) and I’m now replaying Spirit of justice.

And...I can’t help but absolutely love those games because. It’s just so easy to hc everyone - and bu that I mean absolutely everyone important - as arospec! In canon, Phoenix does have one (1) romantic relationship at one point but I’d like to point out that one crush in your life does not make you alloromantic. Given the context I’d say either greyro or heteronormativity? I guess he can’t really be demiro but he could also be recipro (with the context again. Recipro does sound particularly consistent though). He doesn’t have any other romantic stuff even hinted at him! Pearls wants to believe Maya and him are dating but it always makes them 100% uncomfortable (the age gap people. Also, siblings dynamic). Pearls is kinda brainwashed by TV but hasn’t ever expressed interest in romance for herself, even her older self.

Edgeworth doesn’t have any interest in romance either. And I know he’s often shipped with Phoenix (I learnt about that quite recently actually-) but...even outside of my “I’ll make everyone aro if I can” motto, I...never shipped them romantically, even before I learnt of aromanticism. I like their dynamic, and how it’s implied Edgeworth opened up more (to everyone) after his trauma got relieved a bit. I want him to act like a stupid kid around his friends. Like, I can acknowledge Phoenix and him have a special bond, but someone special doesn’t mean it’s romantic and. Edgey’s emotional development got stopped after he parted with Pheonix and Larry so there’s that to consider too. This is the kind of bond of trust that can’t be broken and I find it beautiful, but I’m also pretty sure it would be unhealthy to only rely on one person, regardless of the nature of the relationship.

Apollo? Doesn’t have a romantic subplot. I guess there’s Junie who’s got a thing for him but he doesn’t reciprocate - and I relate to him not even being aware of it lmao. He’s so oblivious around romance, if he’s not arospec who is.

Athena? No romance in her life. She’s a lot like Phoenix (in her past trauma and her reason for doing the things she does) and I love her. Also, if someone ships her romantically with Simon, then I hate that person and will steal their bed. They’re like siblings and have like, a 10 years gap.

Trucy is the sun and doesn’t know what romance is. She’d use it as a magic trick and burn it/make it disappear into her magic panties (actually please do that Trucy, I beg of you).

Well, I could also mention like, Gavin, I guess he’s just a flirt but I don’t think it really means anything, romantic-attraction-wise. He’s also too cool to be straight to i’m going to make him aro. Though I don’t have a consistent HC for him outside of “not straight” if I’m being honest.

And it’s not even like romance doesn’t exist in the AA universe! Larry’s the straightest guy to ever straight (he’s harmless but outside of that...) and the cases often have romantic subplots and all. Well, not *that* often, and it’s generally the cause for murder but still. It’s a thing, it exists. Also we have a canon WLW in Dual Destinies and she’s one of the rare romance-havers not to be a culprit! She’s not the best, like she def has anger issues, but it’s all explained and understandable. She also loves her brother very much and deserves good things and therapy.

ALSO

I really, really love the dynamic of Phoenix’s found family? You have Maya, Trucy, and Pearls (and I guess Athena and Apollo are part of it too but they arrive later and have less interactions so). Pearls is Maya’s cousin, but otherwise, no one has any blood relationship in their little family. No romance needed. Phoenix adopted Trucy (and is apparently doing a great job) and babysits Pealrs and Maya. They’re all free of doing whatever they want, and they know they’re always going to come back together. It’s a found family but, not the “nuclear family” way, you know? Maya definitely isn’t acting as Trucy’s mother, and more like Phoenix’s sister I guess (Trucy and Maya do lack canon interaction but I always felt like said interactions were implied). I love their little family and the freedom in it. It’s just so healthy.

The last thing, not aro related, but still great and why I love those games-

Mental illness. I’m not saying it’s great rep, I don’t think it is, but...it’s just, so refreshing that you have characters with mental illnesses and issues that aren’t bad people. They aren’t the culprits, and, like in real life, are more likely to be victims. The diagnostic is never given in the game, but Edgeworth’s trauma? Not mocked. He definitely has PTSD, and, his fear of earthquakes? Wondered about, but not mocked. I guess that’s part of the reason I always go back to his case in the first game: to hear someone you care about, someone you trust, tell you: “I believe in you. I know your mind has been lying to you the whole time, and I’m here to say it’s okay. Those are just lies. Even when you stop believing in yourself, I’ll still believe in you.” That’s just so powerful, I can’t help but feel emotional every time. Add to that the fact that this bond isn’t romantic and. Yeah.

For Athena’s trauma, it’s the way it’s displayed I really love. Her game is much more recent, and it shows. She just blacks out when her PTSD gets triggered and no one shames her for that. Even though no one knows what’s happening inside her head for the longest time. She needs to be brought back to her senses, to be grounded. It’s not like she gets to have therapy on screen or anything, no character really gets a lot of time off the courtroom anyway, but given the context, I found she was treated in a very sensitive way.

The last example I can think of, is a character with DID. I say DID, but I doubt that’s good rep, and that’s probably not the way people with DID experience life, but that’s what’s said in the game so...Anyway, they’re a witness and, if you know how AA games work, the real culprit is *always* a witness. And you know how in pop culture, people with multiple personalities are often treated as villain, with the “hidden personality” no one knows about, not even the person, and this hidden personality is a murderer? I was sooo afraid the game was going to go that way. They even did hint at it, with giving the character the “hidden personality”. Except, the “hidden personality”, much like all of the other people of the system, is...100% harmless. And just that was so refreshing. Which goes to say a lot about the state of the rep for mental diversity. I don’t know the reality of experiencing DID, but in the game the witness interacts with themselves, and everyone in the court speaks to each individual differently, and the witness isn’t treated as delusional.

Those characters are accused wrongly of murder, when in reality they haven’t hurt a fly. And exonerating them is key to solving the case at hand. I don’t know who’s responsible for that, but I’m extremely grateful to them. To explicitly have your main character, the character you’re playing, clear the name of the mentally ill characters? It’s a blessing and not something you would expect from a game that named one of its recurring characters “Larry Butz”.

Anyway, I guess I am kinda trying to convince some of you to play those games (and goof about it with me) in this post. Even though it wasn’t my initial intent. If all of this isn’t enough to convince you - play those games for the awful puns. The characters’ names are terrible. Also I know I mentioned romance existing but weirdly enough it wasn’t annoying? Probably because it’s actually downplayed a lot. It’s only relevant as a plot device and it’s just like. Stated. Not dwelved deeper into. Those games are great for when you’re romance tired.

#my post #fandom #aro hc #long post #I can't believe I'm getting back into AA #when i'm already in the middle of getting back into saint seiya #i'm going to seriously lack time with school #oops I know this is an aro blog but I'm way too passionate #and had nowhere to speak about it #though I'm sure this not-aro part will resonate with some of you!#hope you don't mind i just get really excited about those games at least once a year

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peter-parkner · 5 years ago

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You, It’s Always Been You

Peter Parker befriended Harley Keener on a Monday, fell in love on a Thursday and then spent the next year and a half getting his heart broken. Harley was the type of guy who was never single. Whether it be a relationship, hookup, or casual dating – he always had someone. That someone was just never Peter. The one and only time he could remember Harley being unattached was when they first met sophomore spring, during orientation for the Stark Internship.

That didn’t last long though after word spread like wildfire of Harley landing an esteemed Stark Internship. Post-announcement, Harley quickly found his next girlfriend in Mei, a petite Asian girl on the tennis team. After Mei was Ashley, the bleach-blonde goalie on the lacrosse team. Then came Sam, who was built like a Greek God and captain of the swimming and diving team. After Sam was Naomi, a lithe girl on the dance team. Harley’s most recent boyfriend was Bryce, a 6’3” menace on the basketball court. In between Bryce, Naomi, Sam, Ashley and Mei were many more dates and flings that Peter had suffered through in silence as Harley’s loyal friend.

In hindsight, all of the above is why Peter should have known Harley had ulterior motives for hanging around decathlon practice on a Friday night.

If Harley Keener wasn’t amazing enough already, he was also the captain of Midtown Tech’s lacrosse team. There was a big football game tonight and Peter imagined the lacrosse team would be pre-gaming for it soon. Why did Harley want to hang around acadeca practice after school instead?

“What are you up to, Keener?” Peter asked as he nudged Harley with his shoulder. The two boys were seated side by side in plastic chairs while they waited for practice to wrap up.

Harley never took his eyes off the stage, where MJ was properly embarrassing Flash (again). “What, can’t I just come and support my friend? You’ve sat in on plenty of my practices before.”

Images of Harley gleaming with sweat on the turf field as his arm muscles rippled flashed across Peter’s brain. He pushed them away. “Yeah, but I finished twenty minutes ago and you’re still here.” His tone was light but his stomach did flips. Peter nibbled on his lower lip to stop himself from saying any more.

Harley shrugged. “Liz is in my AP Gov class and I just wanted to ask her a few questions about our test next week.”

Peter stopped breathing. Of course, Harley was here to score a date. His breakup with Bryce over the summer was public and messy. As Harley’s longest relationship, its dramatic ending had scarred him and Peter was left to pick up the pieces. Many summer nights were spent on the floor of Aunt May’s apartment as the two boys marathoned movie after movie while eating too much ice cream.

Since Bryce, Harley hadn’t been on a date with anyone in practically four months – a new Keener record. Peter sighed heavily. He naively thought that maybe, just maybe, this time would be different.

“Liz Toomes, huh? That’s…new.”

“Not an athlete, right?” Harley sunk down further into the plastic chair. His knee was touching Peter’s in this new position. Neither boy moved. “Because that’d been going sooo well,” Harley scoffed before continuing, “Figured I’d try dating someone different for a change.”

I’m literally right here, is what Peter thought. “Yeah, Liz is great,” is what he said instead.

“She’s hot too.”

Peter didn’t dignify that with a response. He opted to digging his fingernails a little deeper into his palms as his fist clenched. The two sat in silence for a few more minutes before people started standing to collect their belongings. Practice was over.

Peter’s heart sank and he looked off into the distance, a little glassy-eyed. “Well, I’ll see you Monday in the lab, yeah?”

Harley was already getting up from his chair. “Yup,” he popped the ‘p’ and turned back to wink at Peter, “Wish me luck.”

“Sure, luck,” Peter muttered sarcastically under his breath. Harley was already out of range.

No one could resist Harley Keener when he turned up the charm, and after three years of knowing Liz, Peter knew that he was just her type. He turned away, unable to watch Harley ask out somebody who wasn’t Peter. Yet again.

Peter made his way over to join MJ and Ned on the other side of the gymnasium. They were both packing their things at a nearby table. For the past four years, Friday night game night at Peter’s was a ritual for the trio. Tonight, Ned had packed Catan and Peter had Cards Against Humanity already sitting out on the coffee table. The night’s festivities would be just the distraction Peter needed to pointedly not think about Harley.

“Hey guys, almost ready to go?” Peter cringed at the sound of his voice as it came out strained. It was also an octave higher than his normal pitch. Ned and MJ both looked up at the sound.

“Pete, are you okay? You don’t look so good,” Ned asked, brow furrowed in concern.

MJ just looked amused. “Peter’s mad that Harley is trying to ask out Liz instead of him.”

Ned whipped around to locate the pair while Peter hung his head in defeat. “Can we just go?” He asked quietly, staring down at his shoes to hide the slight flush on his face.

The trio left soon after and spared Peter the sight of Harley and Liz leaving the gymnasium together, heads bowed low while engaged in deep conversation.

Continue Reading on AO3!

@maywildflowers @peterparcouer @yeehaw-parkner what we have collectively dubbed the ‘Taylor Swift Fic’ is finally finished!!! PS though, it’s def not a song-fic, just inspired by one.

#parkner #fic #read it on ao3 #bitches #parley #harleypeter #spiderlad #potataowebs #song fic #kind of #writeraj #harley x peter

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paragonevil · 5 years ago

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Get to know the blogger

Can be used to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen!

Tagged by Stolen from: @xj-nine Tagging: whomever, as per usual; don’t wanna tag the same folks all the time.

Under a cut, ‘cause it’s a lot and sorta personal... 🤷🏻‍♀️

FIRST NAME: Nicole, but you can call me Cobalt if you want. She/her. :)

STRANGE FACT ABOUT YOURSELF: Uh, I can’t think of anything really all that strange so... uhh... I’m an unapologetic Ganondorf main in smash? And uh... I’m fucking dangerous as Jigglypuff too? 😂 Too bad I don’t have Nintendo Online anymore. It’s been so long since I played...

TOP THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU FIND ATTRACTIVE ON A PERSON: On men, I LOVE a man who’s bigger than me ( of course that doesn’t take much, I’ve never weighed even a hundred pounds in my entire life ), a man with a nice beard ( calling myself out on that one ), and nice hair ( longer hair preferred; I’m talking shoulder length or more ).

A FOOD YOU COULD EAT FOREVER AND NOT GET BORED OF: Used to be cookies and cream Hershey’s bars; we used to buy those by the retail box and they’d be gone within a month. Nowadays it’s probably gummy worms, particularly those sour brite Trolli’s. :3

A FOOD YOU HATE: Anything involving cabbage.

GUILTY PLEASURE: Vaporwave, retrowave, rnb, 50′s doo-wap, and rap when I outwardly claim metal is my favorite musical genre.

WHAT DO YOU SLEEP IN: Underwear.

SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS OR FLINGS: I used to date around a lot, mostly ‘cause my feelings were inconclusive. I dated lots of folks to see if I could feel anything at all for any of them, aaand of course didn’t. This relationship I’m in now is the longest one I’ve ever had, and we’ve been together... 8 or 9 months or something? Somewhere thereabouts.

IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN THE PAST AND CHANGE ONE THING ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WOULD YOU AND WHAT WOULD IT BE: I can’t think of anything right off the top of my head. All my fuckups have been character development, way I see it.

ARE YOU AN AFFECTIONATE PERSON: When I actually care, yeah. Otherwise I’m pretty cold.

A MOVIE YOU COULD WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN: the House Bunny. Used to watch it all the time with my old best friend, when we couldn’t settle on something else to watch.

FAVORITE BOOK: the Silence of the Lambs bookseries by Thomas Harris. Hannibal is my favorite book!

YOU HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO KEEP ANY ANIMAL AS A PET, WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE: Been thinkin’ about the African Black Millipede lately tbh. I’d name him Aku if I ever got one!

TOP FIVE FICTIONAL SHIPS: in no particular order... Aku / Nightmare ( ok you caught me, this is my current otp ), Aku / Rick, Plankton / Krabs... I probably have more ships but?? I can’t think of ‘em right now.

PIE OR CAKE: that cheapass Walmart cake with whipped cream icing!

FAVORITE SCENT: spiced red chai tea with honey... what, me, projecting my favorite drink as also being Aku’s? Preposterous!

CELEBRITY CRUSH: I don’t know about crush per se, but I deeply admire Mike Pollock for his voice acting, same with Greg Baldwin and Mako.

IF YOU COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD YOU GO: Back to the Philippines to visit with family / live there!

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT: Introvert, but I’m not as bad as I used to be on that front. Working in customer service for a couple years helped bring me out of my shell, for sure.

DO YOU SCARE EASILY: tch. I get nervous, but seldom do I get truly scared. I’m also pretty good about not jumping at jumpscares / not getting too scared by horror movies. Especially compared to my boyfriend, who’s like 3x my weight and still jumps like a jackrabbit at the smallest scares. It’s pretty hilarious tbh; more often than not it’s his reaction which will startle me, ‘cause he reacts so violently.

IPHONE OR ANDROID: Iphone, but only ‘cause it’s the only brand I’ve ever had and just chose to stick with it.

DO YOU PLAY ANY VIDEO GAMES: Sometimes? But not too often. I’m much more likely to spend my free time drawing or watching something or jerking around in After Effects than I am playing games. Favorite two games are def Hyrule Warriors for Switch ( dat Ganondorf tho... 👀💦 ) and Smash Bros. Ultimate ( even though I ain’t played it in a hot minute ).

DREAM JOB: Animator or Motion Designer! It’s what I’m in school for!!

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH A MILLION DOLLARS: Pay my student loan debt, my mom’s student loan debt, my mom’s house, my brother’s house, then uhh... fly to ( I forget where ) to see Stephanie ( @therealricksanchezpleasestandup ) for the first time irl and to California to see @abby-something again... 🥺

FICTIONAL CHARACTER YOU HATE: Star Butterfly is fucking insufferable LOL. 😂

FANDOM THAT YOU WERE ONCE A PART OF BUT AREN’T ANY LONGER: Dan Vs. Got some fucked up memories of that fandom, tbh.

#queue #◜memes◞#cobalt's talking shit

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a-merman-not-a-guppy · 5 years ago

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BDRP QUESTIONNAIRE

Your Name: Lena

Characters: Anthony Coleman, Arthur Pendragon, Ashley Armbruster, Celia Gorgon, Fflewddur Fflam, Finn Flounder, Kanga DeRosa, Llewellyn “Louie” Mallard, Sora Hamasaki/Roxas

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth: Oh man I think of my characters I’m the most proud of Celia’s growth? I mean a lot’s changed since I got her, and I’ve been able to see the progression and build up that change from her being and nervous and terrified about everything to starting to come into her own and be a confident woman. I’m proud of having taken that journey with her, and I like that she’s no longer the mousy shy character that I thought she would always be in the beginning. There’s a lot more strength and determination to her than I honestly expected. She’s been through a lot, she fell in love and everything and I think the amazing part is that she’s not regressing now that she’s heartbroken. She knows a little more about what she can handle. I find that super exciting for her. I’m really really pleased with how far we’ve come since I rejoined with her.

Pick another character and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? So I honestly have a lot of plans for a lot of my babes that I don’t want to reveal but I can say in the vaguer sense where I want them to go. Anthony - honestly just want him to terrorize and go hard. Unleash his full villain in this next year. Help him do that friends. Arthur - I know I want him to do something heroic and noble, but on a smaller scale, I want him to form a proper attachment, maybe have feelings for someone. I think he’s so work focused it’d be interesting how that might affect him as a character. Ashley - I have a lot of change in mind for her. I want to see her move past the struggles she has with her family/find her own way. Celia - just see her continue to gain confidence and figure out what makes her happy. Fflewddur - I honestly want to see him really struggle. He’s always had everything handed to him. I’d love for things to go horribly horribly wrong for him. Finn - Honestly my plan is to go into who he is as a merman and more of the magical side to his life. I love the teen stuff but I am very very eager to do mer stuff with him. Kanga - It’s a secret. But it’ll be fun. Louie - As always I want him to get into a lot of trouble. lol. I also want to see a rift with family with him and see how he handles that. He has a tendency for the dramatic and I think that’d be fun. Roxas - see them figure out what’s going on/learn about Sora Sora - see him learn about Roxas. it’ll be fun.

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. Honestly it’s still ongoing but I’m really proud of what I’ve developed with Arthur. The ongoing quest for the sword and everything around that. It’s the first time I’ve had a longer term plan with a character and known what I wanted to do with it and it’s so cool! It’s exciting to do, and I really really loved the thread lauryl and I had in the lake and writing the Lady of the Lake briefly. It was just COOL.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 strengths and talk about why you think it’s one of your strengths. oh I’m so bad at this. ahaha. I’m gonna do my best but it’s hard for me to talk about myself and stuff like this. Let’s see...I think 1) Dialogue. I think I’m pretty good at making my character’s voices distinct and their own. It’s been especially fun with Finn because of his stutter and the way that he speaks. 2) Teen hijinks. I know this is an odd thing to put as a strength, but honestly I do think I somehow have my niche with teenagers. Maybe their drama just suits my dramatic cancer self who knows. I feel like all three of my teens are unique and quirky and idk is this valid? I find it far too easy to think of ridiculous teen plots. 3) Getting into character’s heads. Thoughts and stuff, I feel like I am good at sharing where my characters are at and how they feel and all that. I feel like I do a good job of diving right into emotions.

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 areas of improvement. 1) showing not telling more. You know trying to really give more detail to what’s happening around characters and their actions rather than a ton of their thoughts. I know I need to work on this more, sometimes I just get lazy and go with what’s easier and habit. 2) There’s another thing I want to work on and again get lazy, where with dialogue you don’t respond to every thing a person says cause that’s not natural to a conversation. You want to respond to like the last thing and then maybe something else after. I think about it but I forget about it and I could work on it. 3) Description. I want to do better at describing things and giving a better visual image of things happening and stuff. I feel like that’s something I’d really like to do better with in the new year.

Pick one of your plots, or even just a character, and come up with a list of 3-5 “mentor texts” where you can look for inspiration or research, then write a short (2-4 sentences) why you picked those texts So I noticed I used tv and film as inspo more than books and stuff but it’s still a reference material to go back to and I’m not sorry. Finn: -It by Stephen King. So this is largely chosen because the character of Bill Denbrough in It has a stutter, and it was one of the first real examples I could think of where I could listen to it and the sound via the movie and how that would work with Finn’s stutter. I go back to it every once in a while for reference. And I’d love to read the book one day and see if there’s more to uncover. -Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: Study of Cameron Frye. So this is a high school movie which also helps with the right vibe, but the most important thing to me is the whole vibe and fear of going out to do ANYTHING. Finn has a really hard time with that and Cameron Frye is honestly pretty good inspo on this sort of thing. Also he’s got two more outgoing friends in a sense, which Finn also has in the form of Ariel and Nemo. -Star Trek: Study of the character Bones. I think this is sort of a good reference as to where I’d love to see Finn in the future and it’s a cool thing to try to work toward. Bones has channeled his innate worrying into helping people, and I think that’s something that Finn could learn to do. How and in what way? I don’t know. But it’s a good reference point for the future maybe. -The Rugrats: Study of Chuckie. Yes is it a bit funny to find inspo from another animated character for Finn? Sure a bit. But honestly the more I think about it, Chuckie Finster is a very anxious child and that is basically Finn on the regular. And again a character that has a much more confident best friend and gets dragged along on the adventures. And even though Chuckie the character is an actual baby and Finn’s a teen there’s a lot to really look at and be inspired by. When I was little I didn’t think Chuckie was that relatable but when I got a little older I was like ‘oh man that’s a mood’ and honestly he’s anxious, I’m anxious, and I’m writing about an anxious character so it all kind of works.

And now, a wishlist! I looooove wishlists and this’ll probably be the longest part of this whole thing so that if anyone wants to brainstorm stuff/looks at this list and goes ‘hey me too’ we can start scheming. -fake dating! -alexa play fake love- it’s a trope for a reason and I really really love it. Someone get in on it with me. -rags to riches (I want Louie to experience being rich for like a day or something. I think that’d make a really interesting story for him.) -murder. well. If anyone wants to get rid of a character one day hmu. -more magic based plots. I have magicks but somehow they HARDLY use it and that’s lame. I want more magic. I want to def explore mer stuff with Finn more especially, and generally just chaotic magic things. -i want Sora/Roxas to fuck with people. Like I want someone to date one of them just for an awkward scene in bed or something. That’s a very small plot thing but I think it’d be hilarious. -I really like romantic plots and I like the soft puff/seemingly cold slytherin relationship. idk I guess I want a duo like that. Or more romance in general. Date my characters. Long term, short term, to make someone else jealous? let’s go. -DISASTER AGENTS. I had a vague idea and I want it but who knows if/when that happens but two brothers with a rescue agency but they are completely incompetent. I like the witty characters sue me. Anthony: -i already said this but murder. -i also want him to hook up with/become friends with a sorcerer. i. have.an.idea. =D -continue to have him sink his teeth in the board and try to influence the town Arthur: -a slow burn love story would suit him nicely. i have plans for him and i think it would up the stakes. -a buddy cop story. idk Arthur is a workaholic so I feel like the best way to be buddies with him is to work with him. lol. this loser. Ashley: -i have her future planned mostly. she’s good i think. Celia: -turn a boyfriend to stone. seriously! -a hero moment for her? idk i think it’d be cool to have what she thinks of as a curse save someone’s life. Fflewddur: -someone let him spill your secrets with his harp. let him cause DRAMA. -connect him to other musicians. He’s got an ego and he’s kind of the worst, but I want him to talk more music and do more music things. Finn: -MER THINGS!!! -i want to explore some of his trauma from the bullying and everything. I know I’m gonna do a one shot, but I also would love to have him be able to open up to a friend about how things were/have been. I don’t think he’d even have told Ariel all of it. -touch. touch is his love language and I think that he’s probably fairly touch starved as he keeps to himself a lot and is afraid of like everything lol. So I’d love to explore his relationship with touch and see him learn to trust people and open up and more free with his affection and holding hands and hugs and that sort of thing. -first love/kiss. with him i think it would be a very slow thing but also it would be SO CUTE and yeah. he’s more of a romantic than my other teens so gotta ask for it here. lmao. Kanga: -board things. She’s on it now woo! I’m here to explore that more -it’s a secret. It’s coming soon to theaters. Louie: -again. Rich for a day, see how the other 1% lives that sort of thing. -family plot line. I want it to happen so bad. I want to see Louie sort of self destruct. Someone help him get there. -further down the trouble path. Drugs? Or fighting or something considerably more reckless? He’s still a fairly good kid, I’d love to explore something a little darker with him. -also to explore him being gay and let him really come into his own there. He’s too busy being Louie to notice so that’s a thing I really want to push with him and see him figure out feelings more. Roxas: -have them figure out about Sora first. Let him and friends struggle with how to handle that. so really mission a) make Roxas a few friends. then b) share the chaos of their life with said friends. it’ll be fun. -get in a fight with battle magic. I think it’d be interesting to see it in play, especially since they are not fully in control. A magic fight guys. Who’s in?Sora: -oo you know what might be fun? having him become good buds with someone and move in somewhere with them and then and have him and Roxas’ stuff make a mess of things. roommate drama HEIGHTENED. -Someone telling Sora about Roxas. Because he is not the smart one of the duo. He’s pretty damn oblivious -break someone’s heart. I feel like he’d be the type to do it without realizing and that’d be an interesting thing to go into.

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP? Well honestly I’ve been rping for so long it’s hard to remember a time before I did it. It’s a good escape from reality sometimes and I really love to write. Writing makes me feel good and unwind and I like that I can express things through characters that I might not be able to do myself places because I’m too awkward. It’s nice to be able to let things out and enthuse online and to get to know a great community. I’ve made some great friends through rp and I love that a lot about the whole thing. Plus it’s through rp that a lot of the time you can let out over enthusiasm. Or at least for me that’s the case. As many of you already know I tend to obsess over things and when I do it’s like I need so many outlets to get by. Right now BTS and then having Finn as my outlet for example. But before that it would be like my years long Steve Rogers fixation and how I’d be off and on in group rps with him as a character or on an indie blog and that would be how I expressed my love for this character and let some of that out. It’s so helpful and therapeutic almost, since I feel like I get too enthusiastic for people around me to relate a lot.

#bdrptask #this got long oops

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surveysonfleek · 6 years ago

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1450.

When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you?: never. Is your family dysfunctional?: not dysfunctional. we’re basically a statistic if anything. How old were you the first time you traveled alone?: 24. Do you brush your teeth after drinking soda?: not all the time. just morning and night as always. Have you ever had a seizure?: no.

What’s the oldest man-made object you own?: no idea. probably the shelves in the upstairs lounge room. i remember them being in my baby photos. When did you last leave the state/province you live in?: sometime last year. i feel like i haven’t traveled in forever. Did you ever take an intro to law class in high school/college/uni?: no. What’s the longest hotel stay you’ve ever had?: i don’t think i’ve stayed anywhere longer than a week. my boyfriend and i love trying new hotels so even if we’re in the same place for two weeks we’ll switch hotels every couple of days just for some variety. Do you have your electric bill set up for automatic payments?: yes. Is there anything you feel like you need a break from?: work. ugh. What do you hate to hear people joke about?: random people who’re just going on about their day. What architectural style was your childhood home?: i’d say 60-70s style. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to live off of savings?: yes haha. Tell me a bit about your last relationship. What was it like dating them?: i’ve had the same boyfriend for nearly ten years. we’ve definitely grown up together. we’re basically best friends so the good times def outweigh the bad.

What’s the largest animal you’ve seen in the wild?: a kangaroo.

Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations?: not that i can think of. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety?: only while driving in torrential rain. Do you know anyone who doesn’t know how to cook even just simple recipes?: haha yes. ^What’s stopping them from learning this basic life skill?: straight laziness and them having their parents do everything for them. Does your neighborhood have a community garden?: yeah, it’s pretty famous. people from around sydney will go out of their way to visit it. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone?: small lies that are easily disproven. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite?: my one. What are some challenges that today’s children/teens will face in adulthood that previous generations didn’t have to face?: digital footprints, extreme pollution, technological failures. Are there any obscure foods you’ve eaten that most people have never tried?: ox tongue. When you travel to other countries, do you always try the local cuisine?: of course. What temperature do you keep your thermostat set to during the winter?: we can adjust the heater in each room. i usually keep my heater on the lowest setting. What did you do for your 19th birthday?: a house party. What’s the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you?: give us free tickets to theme parks in singapore because it was valid for two more days but they were leaving the country. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service?: never. would love to but i don’t really want to commit to paying for it weekly. Do you have any pets? If so, how old are they?: yes. my dog is turning 16 this year omg. Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood?: i don’t think so.

Are you working full-time?: yes. If you could instantly change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: my motivation, or lack thereof.

#survey #surveys #quiz #bored #questions

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purplesurveys · 6 years ago

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396

When you were younger, were you ever in a relationship with someone you now realize was way too old for you?: Never. I did have a weird crush on one of my teachers when I was 11 though. It’s a 16 year gap soooo yep a little bit older. Is your family dysfunctional?: A little bit. We don’t know how to manage conflict and we are the furthest thing from affectionate. How old were you the first time you traveled alone?: Like, without my parents? 17, on my high school retreat if that counts. Do you brush your teeth after drinking soda?: I don’t drink soda. Have you ever had a seizure?: Nope. That sounds scary.

What's the oldest man-made object you own?: I’m not sure about what I own but our table in the living room was made by my late grandpa who made it like a bajillion years ago. When did you last leave the state/province you live in?: Last Saturday. We went to Cagraray in Albay for a quick vacation. Did you ever take an intro to law class in high school/college/uni?: No, I don’t think there’s an undergraduate course like that in my school. I’m taking advanced political science classes though, if that counts for anything. What's the longest hotel stay you've ever had?: A week, I think. Do you have your electric bill set up for automatic payments?: I don’t take care of the bills, soooooo. Is there anything you feel like you need a break from?: Yup, JOURNALISM WORK What do you hate to hear people joke about?: The poor. What architectural style was your childhood home?: I have no clue what it falls under; all I know is that it’s a duplex. Have you ever been in a situation where you had to live off of savings?: Tell me a bit about your last relationship. What was it like dating them?: Wrong timing. It was mid-high school and we were supposed to be mapping out our future plans. Totally understood why I wasn’t the priority but she didn’t have to be such a bitch about it. It was like having a relationship with that dumb pink clipboard she carried around 24/7. When we got back together, I asked her to get rid of it cos it gave me such bad flashbacks. What's the largest animal you've seen in the wild?: Tigers and lions if safaris count.

Do any of your friends or family members have strange occupations?: As far as I know, no. Have you ever been in weather so severe that you feared for your safety?: I’m from the Philippines, dude. Typhoons wipe out cities every year. Of course I have. What political issues are the most important to you personally?: Right now it’s SOGIE, catcalling, transportation, and the fucking President himself. Do you know anyone who doesn't know how to cook even just simple recipes?: Me. ^What's stopping them from learning this basic life skill?: A fear of fire, the kitchen, and a lack of time. Does your neighborhood have a community garden?: I guess you can call it that. What small thing makes you automatically distrust someone?: Not contributing to groupwork until the last minute. Of all the states/provinces in your country, which one is your favorite?: Sagada. What are some challenges that today's children/teens will face in adulthood that previous generations didn't have to face?: Environmental issues, def. Are there any obscure foods you've eaten that most people have never tried?: Philippine cuisine (especially the really really local ones) is pretty confined to just here so I guess that counts. When you travel to other countries, do you always try the local cuisine?: That’s the first thing I look for. Always, without fail. What temperature do you keep your thermostat set to during the winter?: What did you do for your 19th birthday?: I threw a dinner party for my high school friends. What's the kindest thing a total stranger has done for you?: I don’t have a lot since I’m generally distrustful of strangers, but a few weeks ago I had a bad fall and a guy helped me up and repeatedly asked if I could handle walking. I ended up spraining my ankle anyway but he was super nice about the whole thing especially considering the fact that I was so embarassed. Have you ever used a meal kit delivery service?: Never heard of that before. Do you have any pets? If so, how old are they?: Yep, my dog is turning 11 this year <3 Do you have any psychological issues rooted in events from your childhood?: Hahahahahahahahaahhahahaahahaha

Are you working full-time?: Not yet. If you could instantly change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: Mental health.

#survey #surveys

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cosmetologynerd · 7 years ago

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Letters - Steve x Reader

Hey guys! So I was very very very far down my Steve feels this last week and like I said, I was working on a long one for ya! I think this is the longest thing I have ever written; not just on tumblr. But in my whole life. I wanted to leave this as one long piece rather than doing multiple parts, simply because of the gravity of the story being told.

I hope you guys enjoy and please leave comments, I read them all, even all the tags when you guys reblog. They warm my heart more than you guys know.

Summary: Your relationship with Steve grows and changes as he does, your letters keeping you in contact while he's off on missions. (Inspired by this song)

Word Count: 8,432 (holy moly guys I def did not mean for that to happen whoops)

Permanent tags: @hollandroos @spider-bih @rileywrites-parker @loveislikeabook @petersmoonlight @karatyra @charlotteh10 @okaythor @caffeinated–writer @midtownsparker @ashleykh @thatcraxygirl15 @bluenekox3 @everythingthatisrandom @nextkaratekid @brujaescarlota @underoosie @spiderling–parker @steelbarnes @khai-day-the-13th @babyykeexx @jellzu @imaginecrushes @sophiealiice @h-osterfield @holland-ish @negative-love @beautifullybarnes @captainrogerss

Tags for Letters: @mrssierrarogers @mallyallyandra @marvelandstuff @projectxhappiness @hereiamhereigo

Strike means tumblr wouldnt let me tag you

If you would like to be added or removed from my tag list shoot me a message here.

Solider keep on marching on

They were your best friends. Steven Grant Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes had been in your life since you were about four years old, and you thanked your lucky stars every single day that your parents had moved to Brooklyn.

Steve always followed in Bucky’s footsteps, much to your displeasure. Steve couldn’t keep up, yet he was determined to prove everyone wrong. His whole life, he was always too sick or too small or too anything that Bucky wasn’t. He hated it, and he always used to tell you that he would be just like Bucky one day.

When Bucky enlisted in the army at the height of the war, your heart had broken. You feared his return, feared what might happen to him. But this was Bucky. He would be strong. He would survive.

Then, Steve came to your apartment one night, late, after his double date with Bucky. “Steve? What are you doing here?”

He entered your home slowly, like he was nervous to tell you something. But before he could second guess his actions, the words spilled from his mouth. “I got in. I’m going to serve. Bucky told me not to, of course, so don’t blame him. I got in.”

He looked so proud, so excited, so happy. But you, oh, you died inside. Your heart dropped to your stomach, your head spun, not grasping the reality of what he was saying. Steve had gotten into the army. “B-but that means-”

“I leave for bootcamp next week.”

Then came the anger. How dare he- how dare he leave you too?

“Steve- y-you can't! How many times have you been denied because of your health? Your asthma!” You needed him to see, needed him to understand that you couldn't risk him.

“Neither of you understand,” he said, pulling his coat on. The leather hung loosely from his shoulders, showing just how small he really was. “I have to do this.”

“No, you don’t. You can stay here! Stay home. With me.”

He looked at you, his blue eyes showing confusion before comprehension. He walked over to where you stood in the kitchen, his small frame looking more and more delicate to you with every passing second.

“I can’t stay here, while everyone else fights for their girl. I have to do my part.” He grabbed your hand in his, squeezing it tightly for a moment before letting it drop and walking out the door, not knowing just how long it would be before he saw you again.

You wrote him almost everyday. Your first letter was short, unsure of how to communicate with him since you knew he wouldnt get these letters for some time. Did you tell him about your day to day life? Did you tell him how you felt without him around- but how could you even put that into words?

Did you tell him that you loved him?

You couldn’t answer these questions yourself, so you settled for a somewhere in-between.

Steve, You’re crazy, you know that? You did it, you got in. I’m proud but I’m scared. You have to come home okay? It’s weird being in the apartment without you and Bucky around. My mom suggests a dog to keep me company but I’m not sure. It’s really you guys that made my small place feel like home, especially you. It’s too quiet without you around. Come Home Soldier.

It was hard to get used to the idea of Steve and Bucky both being gone. Your apartment was far too quiet without either of them bursting in at random times, far too empty without the constant presence of the boys you’d known since childhood.

Your mom had suggested in her last letter that you get a dog. You’d laughed at the idea, telling yourself you didn’t have the time, but the longer you went without Steve’s voice filling your apartment, the more you found yourself craving company.

Anything to fill the void he left when he joined the army.

Steve, I read in the paper that things are getting worse over there. You can still come home, you know. We can make a difference here, together. Sell bonds, send care packages, send aid. I don’t know. Anything. I don’t like the idea of both of you over there, me not knowing if you guys will home home. I need you to come home, okay Stevie? I got a dog today. His name is Spencer. It was too quiet here and he is just the sweetest little thing. I can’t wait for you to meet him. Come Home Soldier.

Spencer was an energetic pit bull pup, soft grey fur and bright blue eyes. The eyes alone were why you got him; they reminded you so much of another set of bright blue eyes that you loved so dearly.

You’d attached a picture of the pup in the following letter your sent Steve, hoping it would make him smile. You decided to take a chance by attaching one of yourself as well, hoping he would finally clue in to how you felt about him.

Carry my picture with you over there. Come home to me.

Steve, I know your time in boot camp is coming to an end soon, which means you’ll finally get my letters. I miss you more and more every day, and I couldn’t be more proud of you. I’m sorry for how we left things that day you enlisted. I meant what I said though, about you staying at home, with me. Together. The offer still stands when you come home. You inspire me, and I love you for that. Stay strong Stevie. Spencer and I can’t wait for you to make it back to us. Carry my picture with you over there. Come home to me. Come Home Soldier.

He thought about you, about how he left things with you, every day. He pushed himself farther and farther, willing himself to keep going because if he did, he would get to come home to you. He adored everything about you, the way you laughed at his corny jokes, the way you picked at the food on your plate when you wanted to make the time slow down, the way you played with your hair, the way you helped him whenever he got himself into a fight.

You were what kept him going.

He hoped to get letters. He wanted to see your bubbly hand writing at the end of each day, feel like he was talking to you, but he knew that with his unit, and the program he was selected to test for, letters were not allowed.

So he waited on baited breath every day, writing his own letters, telling you about his time here, his struggles, how much he missed you, how much he worried about Bucky, how much he loved you. Those letters would never be sent, though. He couldn’t. You didn’t feel the same, and he knew it. So he kept every single letter for himself, telling himself that maybe one day, he would be brave enough to send them to you.

He thought of nothing but you when he was selected for the serum. That was also the day he finally received your letters.

In each one of them, you’d poured your heart out to him, allowing him to see just how much you missed him, how different life was in Brooklyn without him and Bucky, how you’d half expected him to be sitting on the stoop of your apartment most days, eye black, lip split, and a shit eating grin on his face.

Come Home Soldier.

He smiled at the way you signed your letters, your letters looping together at the end, flowing together with ease. “Steve? Are you ready?” Peggy Carter’s voice called to him from across the room where preparations were being made to inject him with the serum that would change his life forever. He nodded, looking back down and smiling at the picture of you. He’d almost forgotten how beautiful you were, his memory hardly doing you justice.

The offer still stands when you come home.

Oh, how badly he wanted to come home.

Head in the dust, feet in the fire

Steve, Please be safe overseas. I know how badly you’ll want to run off and join the fight, but that’s not what you’re there for. I hear you’re performing in front of the 107th. Please send Bucky my love. I’ll see you boys soon. Come Home Soldier.

[Y/N] The 107th is here, but Bucky…. He didn’t make it back. He went missing behind enemy lines. I’m sorry that I’m the one telling you this, and having to tell you this way, but you deserve to know. They think he’s still alive. But the letter they sent home said nothing of that. I had to tell you theres a chance. I can’t just leave him there, when I’m so close. I have to go and get him, so we can both come home. Yes, Ma’am.

He’d started responding to you this way shortly after being released from boot camp. He responded to each letter you sent, signing with a yes ma’am every time, telling you you didn’t have to worry because he would come home.

But here he was, telling you that he was going behind enemy lines, untrained for combat, probably with minimal if any weapons, in the hopes of saving Bucky.

Your heart had shattered when you got his letter. Bucky was missing, presumed dead or captured. You’d cried for days on end, losing one of your best friends was about as heart breaking as you could have ever thought.

Bucky, who was presumed dead by the army.

Bucky, who made it his mission to protect everyone, you and Steve at the top of that list.

You shouldn’t have encouraged him and you knew it, you should have wrote back saying to leave it be (even though you knew he’d have already gone through with his plan by the time your letter would have made it to him) but this was his best friend, your best friend.

Steve, Bring him home to us. Come Home Soldier.

It was longer than normal before you got a response from Steve. You’d practically waited day and night by your post box, waiting and waiting and waiting for something from him.

He always write back within four weeks. But now, we were nearing six and you couldn’t understand what had happened. Had he died when trying to save Bucky?

Had you lost both of them in one foul swoop? You pushed the thought from your head. You couldn’t think that way- if you kept it up you’d go insane.

By the end of the sixth week since your last letter, you postman came in smiling, and yellowed envelope in his hand and eyes locked on you. You couldn’t help but smile back, looking at your name on the envelope from Steve, written as nicely as he could manage. His hand writing was messier than usual, suggesting he was writing from in the back of a squad car or from a moving train.

“You’ve got yourself a good man, there,” the postman said, causing you to blush.

“Oh no- Steve- he’s not, I mean, we’re not-“

But the postman had laughed and walked away before you could even finish the sentence.

[Y/N], I got him. James Buchanan Barnes is coming home safe and sound, just like I promised. Peggy is going to come and get you, I can’t come home just yet, but we have a short leave here in a few weeks, before our mission starts. I’d love to see you. Yes, Ma’am.

Peggy Carter arrived on your doorstep two days after the letter from Steve. A gorgeous girl, soft brown hair falling into place perfectly on her shoulders, lips pained red, and an attitude that showed that she was no-one to mess with.

“You must be, [Y/N],” she said in her smooth British accent.

“And you must be Peggy.”

You’d only seen one picture of Steve since the serum had been injected, turning him into Captain America, the symbol of the nation. You hadn’t gone to watch his movies, had kept far away from news stands whenever possible, and avoided any and all imagery of him.

It wasn’t because you weren’t proud of him, it wasn’t because you wanted to keep the illusion alive as long as you could.

You simply didn’t want to see him because it hurt looking at those pictures of him, seeing him different in a picture, it wasn’t your Stevie and you missed your Stevie too much.

“Peggy, I- I’m nervous,” you said, adjusting the dress you wore, which hugged you in all the right places, the soft blue of the fabric seeming to glow against your skin.

“Don’t be,” she responded, playing with a few strands of your hair, trying to get them to stay in place. “I knew him before the serum too. I led his training program. He’s the same man you knew.”

You shook your head, smiling slightly. “I haven’t seen him in nearly eight months. We’ve only sent letters, which… I-I can’t tell if he’s been… if he feels...”

“The man is in love with you.”

You and Peggy both jumped slightly as a deep voice rang out behind you. Your eyes scanned the room, settling on the one and only Bucky Barnes.

“Bucky,” you breathed out, voice strained. He still looked rather weak, his smile not reaching his eyes quite the same way, arms crossed against his chest.

“Hey, doll,” he said, coming up to you and hugging you tightly. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too Buck.”

You pulled away from him after a moment and lightly smacked his chest, tears brimming in your eyes. “Don’t you ever go missing again, you hear me? We need you, Barnes.”

He laughed and wrapped an arm around you shoulders. “Understood.” He paused and looked down at you, all dressed up. “He loves you in blue.”

A hot blush rose to your cheeks and you smiled nervously, fingers curling around each other in the soft fabric of your dress. “Did you mean what you said? Is he in love with me?”

Bucky smiles, leading you out towards the bar where Steve was waiting. He didn’t answer your question, chucking slightly to himself and saying under his breath, “Both of you are hopeless.”

As you entered the bar, you looked around. A thin veil of smoke hung in the air, the voices of rowdy soldiers filling the place, laughter all around. These men has seen hell, been through hell, but they were alive and celebrating and it was wonderful to see.

You searched the crowd of men, looking for a familiar tuft of blonde hair, the familiar slouch of his shoulders, listening for his laugh-

“[Y/N],” his voice came from behind. You don’t know why you expected him to sound different, but hearing his same voice, the same soft lilt, the same way your same sounded flowing from his lips....

You turned around slowly, nerves wracking your body. His gaze was soft, his blue eyes full of joy at the sight of you. He smiled nervously at you as you took in the sight of him. He was no longer the small sickly boy from Brooklyn. No, before you stood Captain America, the golden boy of the USA, with all his muscles and hair that now seemed to lay in perfection, eyes that sparkled brighter, and skin that seemed to glow instead of being dull. He was gorgeous.

But then again, you’d always found him gorgeous.

“Steve?” You hadn’t meant it to come out as a question, you hadn’t meant to sound slightly afraid, to let your nerves show. But Steve smiled in relief and wrapped his arms around you, holding you tight.

“I’ve missed you,” he said placing a gentle kiss on the top of your head. “You have no idea what your letters have meant to me.”

You blushed slightly, thinking of him reading each of your letters; the happy moments and the sad moments and everything in between. “Yes I do,” you whispered back to him, praying that he would never let you go.

His body shifted and you knew it was time to break the hug. You smiled wearily up at him and he took your hand, leading you to a table and pulling your chair out for you. You sat carefully, painfully aware of Bucky watching your interactions from across the bar. You shot him a glare as Steve moved around the table to sit with you. Bucky laughed and you groaned, annoyed with his antics.

“[Y/N], I-“ Steve began when you cut him off.

“I can’t believe you, Steve Rogers.” You had a smile on your face so he knew he wasn’t in serious trouble but he expected your next words. “You are absolutely insane, you know that? Running off to save the day.”

He smiled back and you noticed his hand on the table, closer to yours than you’d expected. Your stomach flipped as Bucky’s words repeated in your head. “The man is in love with you.”

Several drinks later, Steve held you close to his body, an arm around your waist, the other one holding your right hand in his, his lips close to your forehead. The music played softly as you danced, enjoying each others company, holding eachother closely, afraid to put any distance between yourselves.

Bucky and Peggy had left the bar long ago, most other soldiers having cleared off as well, only a few remaining. Your head rested on Steve’s chest and you chanced a glance at him. His blue eyes were already gazing at your and he smiled nervously.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Not everybody get to bring someone over seas. Nobody does, actually. How did- how am I-”

Steve was dreading this question. He didn’t want to talk about his missions. He didn’t want to ruin what had been such a happy evening with the thought of his never coming home. He didn’t want to worry you. But he owed you an explanation. “Not here,” he whispered into your ear, distancing his body from yours and pulling you along behind him.

You followed him out, holding yourself close to him as you walked down the street, planes clearly visible in the air. You knew they had to be allies, but walking down the streets of the small European town, in the middle of a war, you couldn’t help but worry. Steve felt your grip on his arm tighten and his chest constricted. Maybe....

He led you back to the hotel you were staying at, walking up to your room with you. He was more nervous now than he had been when you were dancing. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the atmosphere, maybe it was the whole illusion the place had set up. But this moment, here with you, and only you, Steve felt true nerves over take him. But it was now or never.

He opened his mouth to speak, and you held a finger to his lips, shushing the words about to come out. You had a guess to the answer you’d asked him, as to how he managed to get you out to him, and in your impaired state, you'd decided the best way to get your answer was to lay it all on the line.

You stood on your tip toes, eyes darting from Steve’s soft blue eyes to his plump pink lips, before your lids grew heavy and your lips made contact with his. He stood frozen for a moment before his lips began moving and melding with yours, his heart hammering the whole time. The moment he began kissing you back, you were sure you had to be dreaming, there was no way- no possible way this was real.

He really felt the same.

Your hand fumbled behind you as you kissed him, lips melted together, Steve’s hands holding you tightly to him, his tongue dancing in your mouth and you desperate to leave the hallway. Steve seemed to realize what you were doing and he picked you up effortlessly, opening your door and stepping inside without ever breaking this kiss.

“I-is this okay?” he had murmured to you as he undressed you. “Do you want this- me?”

You smiled at him and nodded. “It’s always been you Stevie. Captain America or not. It’s always been you.” His blue eyes searched yours as he breathed heavily, before they seemed to find what they were searching for. In an instant his lips were back on yours, turing your brain to putty and lighting all of your senses on fire.

The night was a hazy blur, clothes torn off, passion growing stronger every second, Steve mumbling your name, you moaning out his, and the feel of skin holding onto skin, desperate to be closer, to mold into one.

You fell asleep, safe in his arms some time later, content to never move from that spot, and just lay in peace with him for eternity.

You wanna take a drink of that promise land

The saying had always gone good things come to those who wait. Steve had waited days, weeks, months, years for the night you had shared with him, musty hotel sheets holding dirty secrets neither of you were ready to tell. But he had waited, and the wait had been worth it. You’d never wanted to leave those sheets, their rough texture enveloping you and Steve in your own world, lost to time.

He knew if things had progressed sooner, happened before that night, you wouldn’t be looking at him this way as he and Bucky boarded a plane to take him off to his mission. You wouldn’t have the same day after glow he’d heard so much about, you wouldn’t have his jacket wrapped around your shoulders. You wouldn’t have cried the same way.

“So,” Bucky’s voice rang in his ears as the men loaded onto the small aircraft, “did you tell her?”

Steve looked at Bucky, his eyes downcast. He had the perfect opportunity, he’d had you in his grasp, held you close, whispered sweet nothings, but he had failed to do the one thing he wanted to. He knew you told him different when he asked if you were sure, the sweet words that had fallen from your lips making his heart race, but to him, and surely to you, he was still sickly Stevie from Brooklyn. Someone you would never love.

“No,” he said quietly, looking at the letter clutched in his hand. “I didn't tell her I love her.” Bucky let out a soft sigh before sitting next to his best friend and clapping him on the shoulder.

“You’ll get the chance. I’m sure of it.”

Steve, That night, it means everything to me. What we did, how we felt, what we shared, I can't stop thinking about it. I hope you know now just how much you mean to me. You are my world Steven Rogers. I still can't believe they let you bring me out to Europe. I guess for their Captain America, they’ll do anything. It was beautiful, even when ravaged by war. I hope we can come back someday, when we can just be us. Steve and [Y/N]. Peggy set up a flight for me back to the States. I’m sure my mom will be glad to be rid of Spencer. I miss the little fluff almost as much as I miss you. Come Home Soldier xx

[Y/N] I think about you all the time. I miss you and your laugh, I miss your smile, I miss the smell of your shampoo. I miss home. I think about you- and talk about you- so much, I think Bucky is getting rather annoyed with me. I will bring you back to Europe some day, I like the idea of being nothing more than two kids from Brooklyn traveling the world together. Have a safe trip back, and make sure you pay attention to your surroundings. It’s still dangerous here, no matter the levels of protection you have. I wish you'd let Peggy take you to the station. I will write when I can. Yes, Ma’am x

His mission started soon after that last letter, only by a few days. He wasn't sure when he would get to write you another letter, or if he even would. Out here, fighting Hydra, fighting the war, he never knew if he would make it to the next day. But he fought as hard as he could, for you.

Day after day, he tore down Hydra bases, capturing any agents he could so they could get the answers they needed, so he could find the Red Skull. So he could come home.

Bucky knew Steve wanted nothing more than to see you again, no matter how much Steve told him nothing was happening with you. He was always a horrible liar, and more than once Bucky had caught Steve writing to you. It brought a smile to his lips.

As the time past, and every day seemed to carry on longer without Steve’s presence in Brooklyn, the more desperate you became to get a letter from him. You knew he was busy, knew he could write as often as before when he was performer Captain America, but you still didn't know anything else. You still wished for a quick delivery on his letters, finding yourself let down more and more every day.

Randal, your postman, had grown used to the sight of the lonely young girl, standing by her mailbox every day at the same time, waiting of her soldier. The sight brightened and broke his heart every day.

“I’m sorry lady, but there’s still no letters for you, ‘less you count the bills.” His voice was tender and soft, like he was afraid to say something that might upset you.

He always felt the worst when you’d hand him another letter, eyes hopeful, as you said, “Well can I give you this? To mail to him?”

He would nod, of course, not daring to be the reason he broke your heart.

Steve, Work has been hectic since I got back- I don't think they were expecting me to be gone so long. I just managed to get caught up on my work from those few weeks I was gone to see you. I hope all is going well, and that you are safe. I swear the poor mail man is getting sick of seeing me wait by the box for a response. Please write when you can. I got so used to every four weeks that now I’m starting to worry about you even more. Come Home Soldier xx

You head was spinning. Surely if he was okay, you'd have gotten something from him by now. Surely you would have something waiting for you in your mailbox. Every day you told yourself this was the day, that today your Steve would have finally sent a letter. But every day, it was nothing but an empty post box.

“I don't know what to do,” you said to your best friend, your head hung low, fingers curling tight in your hair.

“He’s fighting a war, honey. He can't write you like he used to,” she replied, stroking your back softly.

“It’s been almost two months-”

“And it hasn't come out that he’s been killed or captured has it? Trust me, if Captain America went missing, we would have heard about it.” You looked up at her, your eyes swimming with tears, but realization forming behind them. “Write him again. You’ll get a letter back. I promise.”

Steve, Please write to me soon, baby. I can't stand this silence, not knowing if you are dead or alive. Every day I am worried I will come home to find an MP at my door, waiting to deliver the horrible news. I write anyways, regardless of if these will all just get brought back to me in a tin box along with your dogtags. I guess, if I write, then you have a higher chance of coming home. I know that doesn't make any sense, but it’s just a way to help I guess. Come Home Soldier xx

After every mission, after every success he wrote a letter that he would send to you when he had the chance. He filled them with his love, with his fears, with his dreams, all without ever writing those three words; that was for him to tell you in person, so he could see that smile split across your face, see that sparkle in your eye, kiss your lips and hold you close again.

He’d written a total of fourteen letters over the last two and a half months. He should've banded them together. He should have boxed them up. He should have mailed them from the base when all his missions were complete.

How stupid he could have been; and how you wouldn’t realize you were meant to have a fourteenth letter. Fourteen placed in the mail, thirteen out for delivery.

[Y/N] I’m sorry I haven't been able to write sooner. I’ve actually just not had a moment to send them out. I’ve just gotten back to base, where I got all of your letters. I miss you so much, it hurts. I think about you all the time, doll. I think about that night, and I can't wait to come home. I hope you know that. I’ve got another long mission coming soon, so I’ll write you when I can. Yes, Ma’am.

The day you got his letters, you cried for two hours straight. The postman had waited for you, a smile splitting on his face when he saw you walking up from work.

“Did he-”

“Thirteen letters, all from that boy of yours,” he smiled softly, hand outstretched with a large stack of envelopes. Your heart flipped and your smile widened, tears brimming in your vision.

“He’s okay,” you whispered, taking the letters from his hands and holding them tight to your chest. “Thank you.” He smiled before walking away, patting you on the shoulder as he did so. Your feet quickly carried you up the stairs to you apartment, Spencer walking at your heels happily as you entered your apartment. Gently you flicked through the letters, looking for the one he sent first, heart absolutely singing.

You fell asleep holding his last letter to your chest nearly three hours later. You didn’t hear your door open, hear Spencer’s growl of warning, or hear the heavy footfalls of boots. No, you were back in Europe, wrapped in Steve’s arms in that musty hotel, hearing only his sweet voice.

“Bucky!” He was so close, his hand outstretched, fingers nearly to his best friend, almost curled around his own- the metal snapped, Bucky’s only lifeline to that train, his scream ripping through the air as he fell. “Bucky! No!”

Steve’s heart broke as he watched his best friend fall down to the bottom of the revine, never to be seen again. Steve bowed his head, tears lightly staining his cheeks as he stayed there, half of him wanting to jump down off that train after him- but he knew what he would find if he did.

He couldn't face that.

He pulled himself together, looking back inside the train, Zola staring at him through the glass window of one of the compartment doors. Anger flooded through him as he stared at this man who had tortured, tormented, and experimented on his best friend and he did the first thing he thought of.

Launching himself back into the train, Steve hurled his fist at the door, using all of his strength and the lock snapped. Zola backed away in fear, and Steve grabbed him by the scruff of his neck. “Consider yourself dead, you hear me?”

[Y/N] I’m so sorry. I don't know how else to put this, and there’s really no gentle way to do it, either. Our mission- it was.... we won and we lost. The army would have me say our victory was greater than our loss. But I don't agree. I think we lost more than we gained. Bucky- he shot at a man, trying to protect me. There was a small explosion... Bucky won't be coming home, doll. I’m so sorry to tell you this way. But- I needed to tell you, to have you hear from me. He died a hero, yes. But he died because of me. Maybe I should have listened to him. Maybe if I hadn't enlisted none of this would have happened. This is all my fault. Yes, Ma’am. p.s. I can't wait to see you.

“Steve- Steve wait- you can't just go off-” Peggy Carter tried to reason with him as he marched down the hall, his mind made up. In his briefing after Zola’s interrogation, Steve was more furious and heart broken than ever.

Not only had he lost Bucky, but he had learned that two weeks ago, you’d gone missing. Your letters had stopped arriving at base for him, something Peggy took notice of right away, and had sent MP’s to look into.

Your place had been ransacked, and the MP’s had found your mother in the middle of your living room, laying with your dog, crying hysterically. “S-s-she’s missing! Hasn't called- hasn't gone to work- sh-shes not here!”

“I have to finish this! If i find him, I can find her!” Steve said, walking down the hall quickly, being a little harsher with the brunette than he should have been. He slammed his hand down on the elevators call button, his blood boiling. “I won't change my mind on this, Peg.”

She placed her hand on his, still resting on the call button. His hand tensed under hers and he pulled away, wishing with every fibre of his being that it was your hand resting on his. “Steve-” she started once again, but she was cut off by the elevators opening, and Steve pushing away from her, into the elevator, ready to fight.

This was the last mission Steve Rogers had served. He died a hero, at least that’s what everyone said. Your mother had cried endless tears when Peggy Carter had shown up on her door step, a forlorn expression on her face to tell her everything that had happened.

Bucky.

You.

Steve.

All three missing, all three gone before their time, all three too good for this world. Peggy had cried with her, her heart aching and torn apart just the same. She’d grown to love each and every one of you, wishing with all she had that she could go back in time and make everything okay.

But, that was impossible; she knew it and the world knew it, so the world moved on. Time still continued, days, months, years still passed as though nothing had happened, even though for some the world had stopped long ago.

Life didn't care, life was cold, calculating, and heartless, showing no mercy for those lost to time.

It was a long 70 years later that Steve Rogers was found in the ice. 70 years later that Hydra’s longest serving prisoners of war were finally woken up. 70 years later that the Winter Soldier had realized that this killing machine was not who he was. 70 years later that [Y/N] woke from cryo to find a pair of soft blue eyes staring into her own.

Careful son you got dreamers plans

“Where am I?”

It was the first time you had spoken freely in years, your brain fuzzy as the cryo wore off. The man standing before you was familiar; his blue eyes, his blonde hair, his concerned expression, the way he held his body, like he was still trying to figure it out. You knew this man, but he was a figment of an old memory, locked away somewhere in the back of your mind.

“You’re in New York,” the man said slowly, reaching out to place his hand on yours. You flinched away from him, your eyes scanning the room around you, searching for threats.

Behind him, stood two other men; one wore all black, a silver metal arm glimmering in the light, his brown hair long and unkempt, stubble growing in along his defined jawline. The other man wore a suit of yellow and red armor, a large round light shining from his chest, and the hand currently pointed at your body. Your gaze settled back onto the man before you, a large star on his chest, red, white and blue uniform sparking something inside you.

Slowly, your mind worked as you stared at the men, trying to piece together the puzzle. Something was missing, and you knew it, but what that something was...

“[Y/N], I know you have a lot of questions-”

“Ho-how long was I asleep this time?”

Steve froze at your words, his mind boggled. You knew you’d repeatedly gone to sleep, which meant Hydra had used you for more than Bucky had told him. Steve knew you’d been captured to get to him, that had worked. But he thought you’d been killed when he first woke up from the ice. That there was no way you’d still be alive 70 years after you’d gone missing.

And then he’d found Bucky, brought back to him by the same agency who had been responsible for his supposed death back in 1941. And after Bucky had woken up, finally broken free of his mind control, he’d told Steve everything. How you were there with him, how you'd both been experimented on, used as a weapon. But Bucky had never been aware how much time had passed between cryo- and you did.

Steve’s head whipped around to Bucky who looked just as confused as Steve. Tony eyed both men cautiously before speaking to you, over Steve’s shoulder. “What do you remember?”

Your eyes fell back on the man in metal and you cringed, “I-I remember him,” you said, pointing at the man with the metal arm. “I don't know your name though.”

Bucky smiled nervously. “You will. Steve, give her the letters.”

Your eyes looked back at the blonde, and you saw him frown. “She’s not-”

“She can handle it. It’s the only way she will remember.”

Anger surged through you as these two men talked about you like you weren't even there, like you couldn't make your own decisions. You sat up from the bed you were resting on and startled all three men. Steve, you had pieced together was the one sitting next to you. He ws the one who looked the most heart broken, and you looked wildly at him. “What letters? What will I remember?”

“You have no idea who I am, do you?”

You scoffed at him and rolled your eyes. “Should I?”

“Yes.”

You hadn't expected his answer so bluntly. You’d half expected him to say no, to say that this was all some elaborate joke and that of course you’d have no reason to remember him. You remembered the brunette because he was always around whenever you had been subject to pain. But this blonde man, Steve, you had no memory of.

You stared at him a moment longer, unsure of him. But the softness of his eyes, the way he was looking at you, like he was begging you to remember him, begging you to see him for who he was to you. You nodded slowly looking back at the man with the silver arm. It was only now that you noticed the gun he held and you smiled, remembering something from Siberia. “You were always discreet. You can put that away, I’m not going to hurt anybody.”

Bucky nodded, lowering his weapon and hitting Tony on the shoulder, signaling him to lower his hand. The two of them exited the room quickly after, leaving you alone with him; with Steve. “So,” you said softly, looking back up at the soldier before you. “I know who you are?”

“Yes. We- we grew up together.”

Again his statement surprised you, and confusion flooded your features as you stared at him. “We did?” He nodded slowly, sitting down next to you on the bed, his fingers fidgeting with a stack of envelopes. You hadn't even noticed he had brought them out. “Are those-”

“The letters he talked about? Yeah, they are,” he said, his voice trailing off at the end, like he was nervous about what he was going to say next. “There’s something else you should know... about us... before I give you these.”

“What is it?”

“What year do you think it is?”

“I don’t-”

“Just- answer.”

You paused, thinking. “1974.”

Steve shuddered, thinking about all that you must have got through in your years of capture, the things you’d been forced to see, the things you’d been forced to do. “And when were you born?”

“I- I don’t... I don't remember.”

Steve looked at you now, his blue eyes taking you in. He wanted to hold you close, press his lips on yours and tell you how sorry he was that he hadn't done it sooner. He wanted to travel back to that day in 1942, beg you to stay in Europe on base, where he could have made sure you were kept safe. But he couldn't do that. He couldn't take any of the time back and he hated himself for his inability to fix that.

“This is going to sound crazy, I know, but you have to believe me okay?” You nodded, waiting for him to continue. He took a breath to steady himself before closing his eyes. “You were born in 1919. You're name is [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. We met in 1921 and the last time we saw each other was 1942. You went missing and I was trying to find you... But things happened and a lot of time passed. It’s 2018 right now.”

Blunt. There was something about the way he spoke to you, so blunt that it was refreshing and painful at the same time. It was familiar to you, stirring something in the back of your memory.

“Why did we send each other letters?” Your voice was barely a whisper, and even that was hard to make out.

“We were in love,” he said just as softly, saying it aloud to you for the first time. His heart shattered, knowing you had no idea you’d never said it to each other, never put it down in words in those letters, knowing that you might never remember those feelings or feel that way about him again. “I went to fight in the war.”

“Oh.” You’d meant to say more, to ask about your relationship with him, but all you could make your mouth say was that stupid, two letter word. Oh.

“Just... Read these, okay?” Steve handed you the envelopes and you took them gingerly, noticing just how thick the pile was. You’d written each other a lot.

“Okay.”

He stood up and you found yourself wishing he would stay where he was, right by your side. His presence was a comfort, stirring something familiar in the back of your mind that you knew you’d been forced to forget.

“I’ll be back in a bit, yeah?”

You nodded, flipping through the envelopes searching for something to trigger your memory. Here goes nothin’...

Steve, My mother keeps insisting that Spencer is just the cutest pup in the whole world, and that I have neglected my duty of sending you pictures of him, so here, please enjoy these attached photos of quite literally the cutest dog ever. I hope bootcamp is going well. I wish I could get a letter back from you, but I know there will be time for that. Don’t push yourself too hard, you are a scrawny little thing after all (and remember, I do say that in the most loving way). I can’t wait to hear from you. Come Home Soldier

Steve, Everyday you and Bucky are gone I find that things are getting harder and harder to do. I see the newsstands, warning of a worsening situation in Europe, and knowing that you will be over there, that he’s already over there... I’m scared you won't come home. Remember what I said, you can always just stay here.. with me... Come Home Soldier

[Y/N], I guess I’m leaving the stage life behind. No more movies pretending to be fighting, no more chorus girls, no more selling bonds as the Captain America they made me. I’ll be serving, fighting along side Bucky as Captain Rogers (they still want to call me Captain America though) of the 107th. I’m finally doing what I enlisted to do. I miss you every day. Yes, Ma’am

Steve, Today you left for Europe and I don't think I’ve ever cried harder. I’m so proud of you, but I’m still nervous. You promised in your last letter that you would come home, so please, please don’t break that promise. Come Home Soldier

It only took a few letters to start jogging your memory. You’d noticed there were an over abundance of letters from you, where Steve’s were few and far between, making sense, as he was off fighting, or, as you had recalled, working in Hollywood movies about the one and only Captain America.

And then a memory filled your mind, completely overtaking you.

Steve holding you close, his lips pressed against yours, demanding yet gentle, his hands tangled in your hair as he kissed you deeply, your fingers digging into his bare flesh, trying to pull him closer to you even though that was impossible.

“I’ve thought about this for so long,” you’d said in a slightly husky voice, passion clouding your mind.

“I’ve never stopped thinking about you, doll,” he’d murmured back, before securing his lips to the side of your neck.

Steve Rogers. The one great love of your life, the famous Captain America, the sweet boy from Brooklyn who was always sick, always trying to keep up with Bucky Barnes.

“Oh,” was all you’d said before completely dissolving into a puddle of tears.

By the time Steve had reentered the room, your cheeks were stained with tears, clutching the letters in your hands, your mind racing to fill the gaps in your memory. He took one look at you and rushed to your side, placing his hand on yours and removing the letter from your hands. He’d recognized the last line written and he nearly started to cry too.

Maybe if I hadn't enlisted none of this would have happened. This is all my fault.

“I remember... Steve, I remember,” you whispered, the tears flowing harder.

“Hey, hey, shhh, it’s okay,” he murmured, pulling you close to him and rocking you back and forth in his large arms. “I have a lot more to tell you, I just... I needed you to read them-”

You cut him off, surprising him and yourself completely. You were still crying, still in desperate need of answers and who’s, how’s and why’s, but in that moment, all you wanted to do was plant your lips on his. So that’s exactly what you did.

His lips moved against yours after a moment, eager to kiss you back once again. His heart, broken and bettered and bruised as it was, felt whole again for the first time since waking up from the ice.

A long moment passed, where lips danced together softly, breath growing heavy, and bodies clung to each other desperately, before Steve broke the kiss, resting his forehead on yours.

“You remembered everything?”

A smile flooded your features. “Some spots are hazy, I still have a lot of questions, but... Yeah. I remember everything.”

He smiled back at you, his blue eyes stinging with unshed tears as he looked at you. “Good,” he said softly, leaning back in for another kiss. “’Cause I’ve needed my best girl.”

And then his lips were upon yours, the hunger behind them growing with every passing second as Steve kissed you. This was a moment stolen from time, that you should have experienced in past lives, but now, time stood still as the world finally righted itself, allowing you and Steve to have your moment in the sun.

Soldier keep on marching on

And then the moment ended.

Tony had found out about Bucky’s horrible involvement in his parents death. The Sokovia accords were signed, people were dead, and you had fled with Steve and Bucky, the safest option clearly being to run.

But even that, hiding out in the safety of Wakanda, had come to an abrupt end, Tony Stark’s phone number flashing on the small screen of Steve’s disposable cell phone.

The conversation was short, Steve’s expression darkening quickly as he listened to Tony on the other end of the phone. You tried to comfort him, grabbing his hand in yours as he talked on the phone, rubbing small circles on the palm of his hand. He smiled weakly at this, speaking to Tony quietly.

When he finally hung up the phone, he looked at you, a somber look in his eyes.

“I’ve gotta go, one last time, doll. I’ll be back soon, I promise.”

He rose to walk away, kissing the top of your head, his beard tickling you as he did so. “Steve, Steve I can fight too. You forget that Bucky wasn't the only one experimented on in the Red Room.”

Steve cringed and turned around, grabbing you in his arms. “I have to do this, and you have to stay here. I can’t be the reason you're in danger, I can't be the reason you don't make it back.”

“Steve-”

“This is not open for discussion. Please, this one.. It’s just too dangerous.”

You looked into his bright blue eyes, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders as you did so, pulling him into a desperate hug, the engagement ring he had given you only four short months ago, glimmering in an almost mocking way. You shut your eyes tightly, whispering the familiar words he had read in every one of your letters. “Come home soldier.”

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