#we went on three rides
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letting myself unmask has been so nice at times because i'm seeing my boyfriend express joy much more readily too. who knew me being expressive and all that would do so much good!!!
#today was touch and go but overall much better than yesterday where i was watching a musical (not my thing) and it was legally blonde (cool)#but everyone's voices were so shrill (ouch) and the audience was clapping (ouch) and talking a lot (ouch)#and i was three rows back from the stage so the lights were bright (ouch) and there were strobe lights (ouch) and the person seated next to#me kept touching me when she turned to talk to the person next to her..... AND my joints were killing me but we had to walk everywhere from#the theatre to the restaurant we ate at for dinner. which was a byob. and i didn't know we were going to a byob or i would've b'd my own b#but my bf's family doesn't drink so it would've been awkward anyway. and no one talks to me and i don't talk to anyone but yet i'm expected#to be there for some reason (??) i'd rather stay home honestly. horrible time. i couldn't even vape because of said family#so i had zero pain or anxiety relief that whole time. and i had the longest meltdown in the theatre. and i couldn't finish bc intermission#so i had to just like. force it down so i could sit there in silence for 15 minutes while everyone else talked to each other.#and then after all that we still had a 40 minute car ride back home. with my bf's mom.#and then today she invited us to the park with her and my bf was like 'do you wanna?' and i couldn't say no in front of her so i said yes#and then felt SO anxious because god. i just needed A Day. so then i shut down. but then i communicated what i was needing to my bf#and we had a nice walk at a different park on our own. phew#i do Not mean to complain but goodness. pre-autism i would've blamed myself for everything that happened#but now i can properly commiserate with people who understand me LOL anyway. look at some of the crazy shit i went through yesterday
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1985houndsoflove -> apple-mp3 <3
#mandatory url + theme change post + a little!!!! about me!!! bc ive missed being on here like truly being on here grieving is so so over#it is!!! summer!! we are back & alive!!!!! ive been on vacation recently i went to like three different places in three days it was so funny#went to! an aqua park and got on soo many rides i never?? believed i could like if you know me okay i have suuuch an intense insane fear of#heights i get scared#....going up the stairs... and i actually feel sick in balconies like its bad but ig the adrenaline rush was soso high bc how was i getting#on high ass freefall tubes??? uhm anyway also got on a submarine it was nice!!! IT'S SUMMER IT'S A FIONA APPLE FUCKING SUMMER GUYS!!!!!#when the pawn hits the conflict poem on fucking repeat 24/7 <33333
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my new room was painted
#Yellowā¼ļø#i got another heat rash i dont think im allowed to be in the sun anymore#also funfact: today i took the bus by myself for the first time in my town to the mall#i missed my stop n looped in the bus once but tbf the bus driver didnt update the screen so i didnt know we passed my stop#n then the second bus ride was smooth#but the vibrations hurt my teeth and neck#and then i got to the mall#amd my phone was dying the whole time so i had to dit in barnes n noble for Two Hours to get my phone to forty three percent#n then i went to claires n box lunch to get some stuff for my niece-in-laws n i ate shitty pizza from the food court#(i love shitty pizza)#n Then . got a lemonade as big as an infant before leaving#n then we visited the new house#yahoo#we are not rich people btw this house's rent is the same as our apt n its only bc my dads boss owns it#make of that what you will#blabs
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I honestly believe that every real-life love story, no matter how mundane or drama-free or "boring", is beautiful
#like a couple years ago a friend of mine told me about how she met her husband#and it was the most straightforward ordinary thing#they met at a three-day weekend event and liked each other#and on the last day of the event he went up and asked her to dinner with a few other friends#and at the dinner he sought her out specifically and made sure to show his interest#and the rest is history! they've been married over 20 years and are such a sweet couple#and then there's my parents who had been dating a while and started talking about marriage#and one day they were riding the bus together and my mom was like āyk we've been talking marriage and you haven't actually proposed to meā#and he went āwell we can fix that. will you marry me?ā#and she said yes and that was the proposal!#and I honestly tear up a little whenever I tell the story because it's just! it's CUTE!#all true love stories are beautiful I stand by this#elly's posts
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happy laguna '08 sixteen year anniversary, corkscrew chat's overrated go watch them have a nutter-off in the lap where casey falls
#i'd embed the video but dorna doesn't believe in free advertising so#casey's so funny i don't dismiss his complaints about valentino's riding but come on he also had some severe head loss#he is SO angry you can see it physically manifest around him. buddy's about to get a storm cloud hovering above his head#again turn one is a blind crest and this man WILL NOT STOP overtaking around the outside there mate focus on where you're going????#turn three is sooooooooooooo#valentino really went 'if we crash we crash :)' and did not hesitate. casey was one second away from going 'bet'#the way valentino just JUMPS across the track into turn nine what LINE are you taking here#the way they're both just hanging on for dear life.... kinda cute if u think about it#//#brr brr#heretic tag
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Only just woke up, somehow made it down the stairs, and got hit with the āeveryone has aches and pains suck it upā talk. Sorry but if everyone had aches and pains the way I did, theyād have my exact diagnosis. Getting really sick of the way my family forgets Iām disabled. And when I point this out to them Iām told āthereās no reason to get aggressiveā okay.
#itās laughable that they were like do you need to rent a wheelchair at the horrible museum/park we went to#I didnāt get one of course. and later regretted it. but likeā#you canāt be like yes. isadora uses a cane and sometimes a wheelchair#and then turn around and say well everyone has aches and pains#okay? like yes. weāre all sore from the hikes and the car rides. but you guys can actually walk like are you seeing the difference here#recovery time is Needed. I am going to be in pain at least three times as long and also. canāt walk easily! so like#no I donāt think you all have aches and pains like I do#then they were like well how do you know what kind of pain im in and like. again#i was like if yall were in the same amount of pain or more. youād have my diagnosis. so come on what are we gonna do here im sick of this#theyāre talking about going to busch gardens and theyāre like of course isadora will need a wheelchair and someone will have to push her#(accompanied with an eye roll and a muttered why canāt she just walk like the rest of us itās not that bad. but Iāll take it)#and itās like. you guys can remember im disabled when it benefits you!! being in the wheelchair means fast passes usually š#anyway. hidden disabilities are so fun!!! like yāall I am disabled enough the state government recognized it#and paid for my medical leave. that is not nothing!!!!!!!!#anyway. I probably wonāt be downstairs for long. think im going back to bed after this one tbh. my mother is impossible
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Song of the Day: December 9
"Allies or Enemies" by the Crane Wives
#song of the day#today class we will be discussing a tale of human suffering#so I mentioned yesterday how 'Slow Ride' by Foghat was the song of the day because of how the first ninety seconds were continuous-looping#alright yeah so now imagine me sitting shotgun as we drive half an hour to the movie theater#(to see Godzilla Minus One. it was bitchin I do very very recommend)#and the boys are discussing the latest construction along our highway#which has been a topic of great consideration for me actually#--I had a thought about erosion patterns and groundworks the other day and I went on a whole research spiral#downloaded some guy's doctoral research and all. we know how the research spirals go--#anyway this is a topic I would have loved to weigh in on!#but instead every mental width of band I had was dedicated to my subconscious' dogged insistence#that the assonance and emphasis and rhythm of 'are we allies or enemies' and 'slow ride / take it easy' were similar enough#that I should be able to find a way to match them up to one another's backings#so the boys were like 'Alexis what do you think of those pylons' and I was trying so so so hard to answer#(I think they're moving the I-95 interchange ramps entirely and adding a new lane over--y'all can't see me point. it's over there though)#I was trying so hard to answer but it was like a little cartoon man trying to climb up a rockslide#except the man is my answer about the bridges for the interstate ramps#and all the comically round rocks ponking off his forehead were different ways a person might be able to scrunch and/or stretch syllables#to fit the choruses of these two songs over one another. 'are we slow ride guitar sounds death of mee'#anyway yeah! I've got all these little focusing tricks painstakingly cultivated over three decades of ADD and living with little siblings#and now we know they can all every single one be absolutely obliterated by the lightest application of a single classic Foghat song
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I love how ride the cyclone went through 5 (or more) openings and decided to choose the worst one
#like they had scrapped U-R-A-N-I-U-M Tragic fact Fall Faire suite/major turn Fall Faire Suite/minor turn Waiting for the drop#and they decided on uranium suite? its like three minutes long and has no personality. like the opening of a musical is the most important#part? it sets the stage for what itll be and the musical is cursed so uranium doesnt do enough#like the subtle hints in fall faire like āI hope i wiped my browser history cleanā and āsex oh god why did i waitā and āthat crusty carnie#was clearly drunk ā made the song so good#and the girls part in waiting for the drop is so chilling#āall those colored lights oh oh oh i gotta wear shades cause the futures so bright! nobody's bringing me down do- ow- wn! ill never put my#feet on the ground oh! just as life was about to start oh oh oh we never shoulda got into that rickety cart oh no! wait! are we still on the#track? wuh-oh! its time for the drop now I know WHOAH! OH! we are never going back! are we ever ever going BACK?!ā#and the way theyre talking about how much they hate their town in tragic fact is so much better and lore filled than āempty streets of empty#shops. shut down rows of mom and pops bow down to the mega mall. the smart ones all packed up and went why stay if you cant pay the rent#ride the cyclone#tragic fact ride the cyclone#Fall Faire Suite#Fall Faire suite/Minor Turn#Waiting for the drop#uranium suite#hot takes
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what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i havenāt literally been doing it since age 13 but because itās not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if itās downhill from here?
#I love my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#i HATE my quiet getting high nights cause they let me unlock my thoughts#like bestie I was just watching critical role why did I pause it to write this down#anyway in other news I have a ten hour tech day and Iām āØscaredāØ#technically itās nine and a half though because they moved the call by a whole half hour#and honestly Iām going to get breakfast for meal swipes so I might end up being late cause breakfast doesnāt open until 10#but like fuck if Iām gonna try to make food here#I want to pack my bag tonight but also I just laid down after doing dishes and Iām exhausted#Iāve had such a long day too I had two normal classes (one of which I basically led the class. I interviewed two professionals in front of#the whole class. FUCK I probably need to send them a thank you email. thatās gonna be a tmrw issue or I might draft hifh but like not sendin#but anyway after that I had one hour for lunch and then three hour lab which was fun!! because we went ride pooling but like we walked a#shit ton and in the sun#oh and my roommates mustāve forgotten I come with today cause they left me behind (which is totally fine cause I didnāt get up but it did#mean I had to catch the on campus transport and that takes forever and so I was late to meet my friend for breakfast and dining hall was#closed so I had to get food elsewhere which literally cost the same as the dining hall in the morning which is dumb but it took waaay longer#anyway hifh boom takes tumblr diary entries too seriously idk why I channeled my whole life into this post lmao#i think itās cause Iām self-isolating HARD (despite being fairly social at the moment? itās a surprisingly cool balancing act im pulling off#quite well as a busy bee) so I felt the need to pretend to have human connection without actually breaking my self-imposed isolation lmao#boom blogs high
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@nemekii / from (x)
She couldn't lie; as much as she loved her sisters, the blue-accessoried Spaniel daughter appreciated the moments away from them, too. For right now, it was just her and Bingo - a neighbour from just down the street and in her opinion the most adorable little girl ever, bar none - and she was going to make the most of it.
Ear pricked up a little at Bingo's question.
"The games? Of course!"
Mr. Bandit had given her money to spend on the younger girls, and she had her own allowance too, so Annette had no fear of spending more than she could afford. She might think of herself as the most responsible child of the two families, but Bingo's cute little excitement was contagious, and there was no way that Annette was going to say no to her.
She allowed Bingo to lead her by the paw over to the games, casting an appraising eye across them.
"Which one did you want to try first?"
#nemekii#smartest in blue [annette]#three sisters together [Annette & Collette & Danielle]#bluey!verse tag tbd#ic#I thought maybe their respective sisters were at the carnival too#but that maybe Bluey had wanted to go on a ride that Bingo was a little too small for#so Annette had stayed with Bingo while Colle and Dani went with Bluey#but that was just an off-the-top-of-my-head explanation for why it's just the two of them at present we don't have to run with it xD
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this one is still ridiculous LOL
#stardust speaking !#THREE HUNDRED EIGHTY TWO DAAAAAYYYYSSSSSS#on one hand ig it kinda evens out if u do the math considering theyre more chs these days + cuz chs are Really big#but the consistency during the first 2 acts vs now is beyond hilarious#hiiiiiiiiiii im here cuz july msq copium#im still mostly at flovverworks atm...........................#i was just thinking about msq again......very few things will top the va work in act3 for me#fenrir mika shitori are SO good. lokis SO good#everyones SO good#ive said this before but i think mika & shitori are two of the best characters in the entire series and id k*ll for them to get SO popular#cuz i WANT that content#theyre SO ridiculously good#i def had my reservations about current msq developments but honestly? go for it. this is such a wild ride im absolutely here for it#i still wish anni went more into that rather than ohh simulations ohh like imagine what we couldve had. who cares spoil the entire thing#aaughhhhhhhhh back to mika n shitori but i love edgelands SO much and i love the ebisu lore brought with joels sr too its just#man msq is rly cool
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many experiences today
#we went over to tĆ¼rksan to get a panoramic xray of my teeth at the dentist (no elaboration)#then we went to my favorite good place again! third day in a row. they know us very well by now#i broke the bones of one of the chicken wings i ate while biting into it from the sheer amount of force i was putting on it.#i then got called ladylike once again by im assuming the owner. the people of turkey Love me#(<-has been called ladylike by three different nearly-strangers recently)#we then went to the ice cream place just across ^^ i got oreo ice cream and gum flavored ice cream#...gum..mastic gum? is it called mastic gum. thats what google says#oh whatever. its those unflavored ones#then we went to A101 (a grocery shop) but i waited outside because there were cats there#one was really sweet but there was a little kid (about 7 years old) that screamed at it and chased it. have not had homicidal thoughts in -#- a while but i did today#then we went home#was pretty nice! im very proud of having gotten called ladylike again only because that means its Working (me being nice)#šrambling#OH how dare i forget. on the minibus ride there we saw a god damned horse. and people were riding it with a carrier#i was very shocked. second time i've seen horses in this place
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Absolutely miserable start to my day I even knew most of the info on my exam but I forgot to sign up with my school disabilities services so I didnāt get fucking extended time on my exam and I ran out of fucking time. I was rushing to answer 7 point questions my god. I knew them too but I m barely going to get anything on them. Mm Iāve had enough of all this ^_^ was over the toilet barfing last night and I have to wake up and take my fucking exam only to know the information and run of time. I just be crying in my car ribkt now because my life is so frustrating all the fucking time .
#Iāve got bad karma or something#nothing will beat the time where I had a horrible allergic reaction on my skin that was all over my body and so very itchy but despite that#i went on a date with Madeline and we went to oaks park#local shitting amusement part#park#and they raised their prices to FIFTY dollars for one day#but we were crashing our friends family gathering at the park near by so we were lllwk might as well#and it was in the 90s and I got heatstroke š and threw up after going on three rides and went home#and my allergic reaction got so bad because I was in the sun i had to go to the doctor#then a week later when my reaction was just dying down#I GOT COVIDā¦ LIKE BAD COVID#i was throwing up I had cold sweats shit was horrible#but anyways whenever things like this happen it happens in a line of horrible things so Iām waiting for more bad things#why me#im eo niceys why me
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#hi youāre getting a rant from me today bc iām still so pissed off ajejfjke#might delete this later idk#so i went out to dinner with friends and then we were gonna go out to a club but it was kinda late and we didnāt know where to go#so this one friend suggested we just go to his house#now this friend and i have a little history and ngl i may have gone with him in his car bc 1) i donāt drive and 2) iāve gone with him before#nvm that once we made out in his car right (but i fully use that to my slight advantage)#we hadnāt seen each other since like november and havenāt properly talked waaaay before that so we caught up in between car rides#and once we got to his place and a couple of other friends left we started bantering and lowkey flirting#which led to him sitting like right next to me pressed up against me and we were really close and then with consent he starts to like#pull me close and touch my legs and ngl itās a little embarrassing bc there were three other friends there#and he goes on to compliment my outfit several times and saying i have great style blah blah blah#but bc thereās other ppl we donāt kiss and iām BARKING SO FUCKING MAD BC I KNOW IT COULDVE LED THERE#he always brings up this weird conversation talking about really liking to get acquainted with someone elseās smell and how intimate it is#and we even fucking smelled each other and he said i smelled good/great i donāt remember his exact words#yāall i just wanna be KISSED like#heās a fuck boy and i know that but iām not looking for a relationship i just wanna be KISSED FUCKING AJEJFJSKEK#anyway i deserved kisses last night and fuck hanging out with other ppl bc i wouldāve definitely gotten some last night if not for the crowd#WAIT I FORGOT THE BEST PART#he literally showed me shirtless pics of himself and dudeās fucking ripped which is not necessary but a definite plus#yāall if that wasnāt a fucking opening shoot me bc idk what is
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some days i wonder what my life wouldve been like if i didnt go to the high school i went to
#like my school was brand fucking new#my class was literally the forth graduating class#we didnt even have proper sports teams#and it was a horrendously stem school so there were really any interesting clubs that werent like#career readiness types#if i went to a different high school would i be in sports today? if i went to a different high school that had dedicated orchestra classes w#would i be an orchestra major?#so many what ifs#i wish i thought more abt what i wanted to do with my life#i mean if covid didnt happen i wouldve ansolutely been in my colleges soccer team#but alas#im never gonna get over that tbh#i wish i didnt go to the high school i went to. on one hand it was small which meant less drama and absolutely everyonr was some kind of ner#nerd even if it was very lowkey#i am having my regularly acheduled life crisis again except its not on schedule bc it usually happens during midterms#and its fucking summer break#i dont usually regret a lot of things but i do in fact regret going to my high school#theres something to be said abt wanting to go into criminal justice and then learning how the justice dystem works in detail#and realizing bey this is bullshit actually??? and then youre stuck for three yesrs at a high school you hate with people you dont like lear#learning a subject you will never make a career out of#unrelated but i got a mosquito bite on my big toe and its seriously itchy#anyways#having lots of thoughts on this fine 6pm evening#i would like to get off this ride please and thank you#michi tag
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Song of the Day: March 25
"Groovy Little Summer Song" by James Otto
#song of the day#it's not at all summer yet but it is spring!!#it's chilly when the wind blows and the dew-damp sticks around until noon but the sun is out and the sky is maybe not clear but close!#spring!!!!#I put my first early plantings in the garden today#I had planned for a bunch of marigolds but I got a different batch of flowers instead#so now what's down is rootings for a bunch of perennial flowers#sea holly and red-hot pokers and butterfly weed and hollyhocks#and then my little pea plants#I told Kelly I'd share pictures but for today it only looks like a square of dirt--I'll definitely share pics when my sprouts come in!!#beautiful beautiful garden times#summer of 2010 when this song came out was the first time in three-ish years I'd spent much continuous time with my family#my littlest siblings were old enough to be away from Mom for a while and still young enough to be lulled to sleep by the car#and Mom was very eager to be left home alone to sleep (and play this weird chicken bowling game she was briefly addicted to)#and so we went on a lot of long leisurely pointless car rides and we listed to a lot of#(I will never not hear this in my head) 96.9 The Kat! country music radio#and this got added to the short list of songs I sang to myself#it's so catchy!! cute fun moderately-bouncy little earworm and my voice cruises up and down it so easy#'when the days start gettin warmer / the sun starts sinkin slower / weekends go by faster / and beer starts tastin colder#wanna tune into a station / takes me on a soul vacation / hey there mister dj / come on won't you please play'#and crucially Dad did not mind this song--which could not be said for 'There Is No Arizona' by Jamie O'Neal#or (after I sang it approximately ninety million times) 'Just What I Do' by Trick Pony#we also had--this was very fun for me--we had exactly one CD we could play in the car (because it was stuck in the disk player)#and that was Joe Diffie's 'Third Rock From The Sun'#so many songs of absolute joy on that album. lucky as hell that Dad agreed because it meant we'd crank it up so loud#close my eyes and let the sun shine all red through my eyelids#sing some real dumbass enjoyable-as-all-getout songs at the top of my absolute voice#Dad laughing and singing along and the littles sleeping through the all of it like the precious babies they were#these are the songs of sunshine and pointless happiness! it's not summer but it will be! my garden doesn't have plants yet but it will!#sing a song!!
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