#we truly live in the funniest timeline
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I THOUGHT IT WAS A RANDOM DUDE, THIS IS THE HUMAN PET GUY??!?!?!?
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But, for real, the funniest "Strawhats meet early" AU that I can think of at the moment (focusing on the East Blue crew here again) is an early meeting and team up between Zoro and Usopp.
Zoro somehow ends up on the Gecko Islands. Maybe he's lost, maybe he's following a trail, but the ultimate ending here is that he somehow catches Captain Kuro out and beats him and his followers. (See OPLA episode where Zoro says, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?" to Klahadore.) Zoro only doesn't get killed because Usopp swings in, utterly terrified, to shoot pepper in people's eyes or something, and/or Kaya musters her strength and anger to hit someone from behind with a table leg. (Kaya's parents live, maybe? Can't remember the details of the timeline at the moment. Zoro could probably manage this as young as 16 years old if need be? Maybe he left his island a year earlier than is traditional because he felt ready to go.)
Yay, Zoro is a hero! And Usopp is a hero with him! And Usopp has very little left in Syrup Village besides Kaya, who doesn't really need him, and so he begs Zoro to take him on as an apprentice! Not as a swordsman? Although, of course, (lying:) Usopp would be an amazing swordsman, obviously! But as a brave warrior of the seas! Like, in general? He's only 14-16, but he's got heart!
And Zoro is obviously like, "No, fuck off." And Usopp replies, "Okay, but you can't stop me from just following you around anyway? Please? I mean, fuck you! I do want I want! Oh, please don't kill me." And Zoro is like, "Fine, whatever." Because Kaya's parents gifted a boat (not the Going Merry) to the both of them, Usopp can actually navigate a little, and Zoro is too tired to just physically throw Usopp off the boat at the moment. He'll just drop Usopp off again whenever Usopp's courage runs out.
And so begin the teenage adventures of Captain Usopp and his first mate, Zoro! ("We're not a crew," Zoro says. "And if we were, you wouldn't be the captain." "Okay, but which one of us is steering here?" Usopp says. "No! Don't take the wheel again!! You're going to kill us both!!!) They're going to sail around East Blue in circles because Zoro is still training and Usopp keeps desperately coming up with excuses not to enter the Grand Line yet.
Depending on how early these events happen, if you really do try and do this with Baby Zoro (16yo) and Baby Usopp (14yo, truly baby, Yasopp, come and get YOUR CHILD), then you could fudge the timeline a little and they could run into 17yo Portgas D. Ace on his way to the Grand Line. Ace isn't about to bring babies into the Grand Line with him, but holy shit, he can at least show them how to sail properly before he goes, what the fuck. Oh, shit, he LEFT DAWN ISLAND without teaching Luffy how to sail, FUCK. He needs to get a Den Den Mushi RIGHT NOW and CALL MAKINO. (I don't know whether or not Ace could actually sail at that point in time, possibly not, but he's pretty clever, and I like to imagine he at least talked to people and tried to study before going. If he didn't, then wow. And I do imagine that someone tried to give Luffy the basics of sailing, but the information slipped immediately out of his head.)
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talk about salem on the oil rig. are any of his party members there too or is it just him and a bunch of other grizzly bear type guys in the middle of the ocean
I think the funniest thing is I DID ask my dnd party what they thought their character's modern day jobs would be:
Frederick: "the twink at a retail job who doesn't do anything and doesn't get fired for some reason"
Yerafyn: "in between online astrologist, working at a cafe that's a tarot shop, or nepo baby who interns at a magazine she doesn't take seriously, or an actress in plays held in like random parks" I think it was just decided that Yera might be a nepo baby who does all of the above which. Love that for her.
Maeve: I think it was determined she's doing what she does in canon timeline (traveling and helping people)
So like. In short. I think there's a possibility they're all localized to the same town/city Salem's in? But it's probably mostly Salem with a bunch of random grizzly bear type guys.
Like. Not to say my first thought was Salem having sweaty dirty sex with the other guys at his job but. It kind of was.
But truly in my heart of hearts I think he'd be too depressed to get it up in a reality where he's working on an oil rig. LIKE. Putting Salem in a modern AU is like making Porter a teacher... He lacks enrichment. And a proper way to run away from his grief over his family.
I love Salem this is my opportunity to put him in the worst timeline possible. He'd definitely be an alcoholic. He'd be making as few connections as possible, probably dodging Alfie attempting to convince him to get back together with them, definitely does not have hobbies for his off time, and is probably living in an apartment that is peak "we need so little to make us happy" / "a bedframe would be nice" / "don't deserve one" male living spaces.
Like there is no in between for him in a modern AU... It's either gonna be that genre where the dude loses everything and ultimately ends up dying alone and nothing's changed OR he's the loser red flag romcom love interest who kind of but not really changes through the power of love.
I am so sorry I've no idea where this was going
Anyway. In short. I am microwaving him in this timeline. He's not happy. But. I think he could get fixed if the party was in the same town as him.
#.asks#I've been thinking about Salem covered in oil since yesterday#I've ALSO been thinking about him passed out on a disgusting bar floor#but we're not getting into that because it feels too revealing for me#anyway. good morning kodie i hope you like my depressing thoughts about modern au salem#oc: salem
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And the new grand mystery novel Seiryoin just announced for planned 2024 release is titled...
*drumroll*
THE ADVENTURES OF GOD DETECTIVE JESUS CHRIST
Trailer here
Truly, we live in the funniest timeline.
Apparently Seiryoin alluded that this will be connected to Cosmic somehow.
This MIGHT mean a new JDC installment/spinoff (the 神探偵 in the title is almost the same as Juku's title of God of Detectives, who technically also wields the title of a Jesus Christ)...
...but knowing Seiryoin, it might just be something like "well, Cosmic was my old self's mystery debut, and this is my mystery debut as a ~new Christian person~" and it literally will be How Jesus Solved The Mystery Of Salvation lmao
#maijo and jdc stuff#or is it JDC? either way I'm losing it#the moment the phrase 'the great detective is... JESUS CHRIST' popped up in the trailer I started wheezing#CHRIST'S BIZARRE ADVENTURE
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fucking. miraculous au where chloe got sent to a damned private school. like that shit fucks you up - speaking from experience - and is where she should have fucking gone like girly is the mayors child why is she there. why. it makes no sense. not saying that children of people of import cannot be sent to public schools but judging by the Everything about Andre and Audrey she shouldn't have ended up in a public school.
like i'm sorry but i truly believe she and some of the other characters should have gone to private schools and then there would be that fucked up rivalry between schools that happens - [redacted] die please. your not better at hockey or rugby than us. your rancid (not really but its funny to get so heated) - and like the friendships people have across schools... fr they are so funny.
bonus points if they go to an all girls school paired with an all boys school. wdym i'm speaking from experience and projecting? of course i am.
but back to the original point. WHY IS SHE THERE. people explain it in fics like her dad was making a public statement being like "wow guys the public school system i fund and help organise is so good i sent my daughter to it" BUT NO ONE WITH HIS MONEY WOULD DO THAT BECAUSE A LOT OF PUBLIC SCHOOLS ARE UNDERFUNDED
like i get that thomas astruc was just wanting to put "bitchy rich girl with powerful parents" in there as a trope but like.. buddy please... think it through.... i know thats asking a lot when talking about this man but pls
miraculous would be ten times funnier if they were all at a private school and were forced to wear uniforms and got weird fucking assemblies about breaking the uniform "individuality is for after school girls!" - quote directly from my old headmistress
like genuinely with fashion as a core theme in miraculous it would be so much funnier if they had to wear uniforms, and on non uniform day - generally charity work, pay to not wear uniform money goes somewhere good, it works well - everyone would go buck wild except for Adrien who in my heart he would escape in a hoodie and joggers
Alix would have the exact same hair and probably more piercings, i'm sorry i don't make the rules every year has at least one person who looks like that and we love them for that (yes she would go to the private school IN THE WIKI IT SAYS SHE LIVES IN THE LOUVRE WHY DOES SHE LIVE THERE THATS A FUCKING MUSEUM)
wait. never mind. Juleka and Alix are dyed hair solidarity girlies for realsies, plus in my head Juleka has fire makeup and nails which are amazing for the goth aestehtic but don't really go with the uniform but She Sticks To It. she is committed
oh and Luka my beloved weirdo who doesn't seem to go to school, yess they would be there Jagged pays child support in droves for Luka which is also used to pay for Juleka to go (they aren't twins to me don't talk to me. Luka is older and they are half siblings ok. )
maybe i'll just fucking write this who knows. idk how the french school system works, never mind the private school one but i damn well could figure it out
plus from my experience, private schools have extensive grounds with just enough upkeep to be fancy but not enough to block the view of the fucking road like so its kind of funny like what were you going for
which could be a banger place for an akuma attack which isnt - yknow - the Eiffel tower. again.
objectively sending a bunch of them to poncy schools would do fuck all, however, its a really funny alternate universe to create... this minor change would fuck up the timeline because i'm in charge and bored
i don't know what this turned into. to be frank with you i think this idea is just actually so fucking funny so i'm going to stick with it who knows where that will take me
also, objectively, this is the funniest continuity error to focus on in miraculous
#note to regular followeres: idk what the fuck happened to me but this is being written in my head now so like ignore this IG#i may never mention this again tho so#rambles#writing rambles#miraculous ladybug#chloe bourgeois#adrien agreste#alix kubdel#juleka couffaine#luka couffaine#fuck it we ball this is happening#no one wil llike this but thats ok its for me only
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Bangel fans, we want to hear from you! During the run-up to the IWRY Fic Marathon in November, we’ll be getting to know each other through our Meet the Fandom series. Answer the questions here to join in.
What is your name?
Kareema
Where do you hang out?
Instagram, Tumblr, AO3
Funniest Bangel/Buffyverse moment?
Any time Angel gets petty, I find it hilarious.
What Buffyverse opinion would have you chased through the village with pitchforks?
Most of the 7th season of Buffy is Spike-centric and disinterests me. I'm uncomfortable but happier with season 6. Uncomfortable because of the Spuffy content, but happier because the story telling was clear: to show self hate, deep depression and the dark place Buffy was in. Season 7, however, glorifies him as a character and romanticizes the "relationship".
Share a headcanon you have about Bangel or the Buffyverse?
Pre end of shows: I'd argue not head canon, more textual: Angel's Darla and despair arc in S2 of Angel ends neatly (if you follow episode chronology as timelines) with him comforting Buffy in Forever beside her mother's grave. Eventually kissing her and realising how little has changed between them in terms of passion and love, despite their individual journeys. I love that the trauma he lives through is resolved and then bookended with a scene shared with the only person who he has ever felt at peace with.
Post end of shows: Buffy's finale perfectly sets up her headspace to be ready for a future with Angel. Angel's character's point is to SEEK redemption, not to have it, so I am almost at peace with understanding why we never get to see him be happy with her on-screen as a story ending. However from HER pov, who more deserves that penultimate happy ending with the only soul who truly supported her and understood her mission and her pain? My headcanon is that she gets this happy ending with him.
How would you have given Buffy and Angel their Happily Ever After?
First a reunion while Angel is still a vampire for the sake of bloodplay and the fantasy of vampire stamina matched by slayer stamina. This would necessitate the curse being addressed; I personally think Buffy would still be that one thing to cause him to achieve true happiness, despite everything he's been through since it first happened.
Then a shanshu plotline while they are romantically a part of each other's lives in an already-established, albeit limited, relationship. I love the idea of the transition being something Buffy would be witness to, as opposed to a common trope in fics where he comes back to her, already human. Then domestic bliss in obscene amounts of sunlight.
Last fic you read?
I am currently reading Days of Future Past by a2zmom which is being released on a chapter a week basis. Last complete one was Reprieve by Scribes1015
Slay, Lay, Obey - Buffy, Doyle, Willow?
Slay: Willow
Lay: Doyle
Obey: Buffy
Fill in the quiz so the fandom can meet you!
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6, 9, and 12 for the ask game? ☺️
Thank you for the asks!!!
6. Share a bit of a WIP
I'll share a bit from an upcoming part of Euridice
“I just don't understand," Harry rasped. "The shields were down. She should have re-materialized. Not be a million pieces of scrap out there.” “Maybe we were wrong” Tom put forward “Maybe the explosion of temporal energy didn't reset the timeline the way we thought.” “But it restored the Zal - and Krenim activity in the sector plummeted after" Harry insisted. "We were right we just..." He slumped in his chair at the small galley table, staring at his hands. "Overlooked something?" “The crew.” Both of them were startled by the speaker. Seven was studying the data from their previous temporal incursions. “The ship could not reset because not all of her variables were accounted for. Voyager can't exist without us.” “We’re only eight people!” Tom laughed inceedulously. “Does it… we can't matter that much to the whole ship's timeline!" “Every individual matters,” Seven said. A tear ran down her face as she added: “That is what the captain always taught me."
9. Write a Recommendation for a fic.
So no one would know from the glut of sailor moon and Trek content on my blog but i am absolutely in love with the Tom/Mary from Downtown Abbey. And I had slunk away in despair about 3-4 years ago when I discovered the show and also discovered just how few fics there were for this.
And then this year I had the pleasure of finding and tearing through @gaitwae 's Where Cupid's Arrow flies. A really grand AU that re-writes Downtown Abbey from i think S2 or 3 era - it drifts away from Canon during the Spanish Influenza by having Sybil die at that earlier point and Matthew leave for America to do some lawyering... and leaving Mary and Tom with plenty of time spent only with eachother. I am really enjoying it! it preserves the essence of the circumstances that made these two so compelling to me in Season 4. But from being earlier in time, it gives Mary the chance to analyze if she truly loves Matthew or if shes influenced by the social pressure to marry him. And with Matthew still alive. the both of them have time to reflect on what they really want.
The fic has some amazing character development and beautiful moments between the Tom/Mary and (now that hes come back) Mary & Matthew. And I eagerly awaiting the next chapter!
12. What's the funniest or craziest AU idea you've ever come up with?
(I am not sure I wanna talk about the truly craziest idea Its a smut fic.... 😅😅😅 idk if i will ever post it) So the second craziest idea I had was to have Voyager become a sentient computer and meddle in her crews lives (does that become crack? smut? horror? all three? I'm still mulling it over)
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bacon @silvermining
you’d be hard pressed to find a straight comedian who isn’t a massive homophobe
trashstan @polter
responding to @silvermining
you’d be surprised to know trashmouth is actually an ally! he’s got a reputation for being a sweetheart to his queer fans and reportedly donates to a lot of LGBTQ+ charities!
bacon @silvermining
responding to @polter
oh nice! i didn’t know that!
trash @trashmouthtozier✅
responding to @silvermining
keep looking lmao
take the trash out :( @polter
i don’t think i’ve ever been so fucking upset with a celebrity in my life. no one talk to me :(
TRASHMOUTH TOZIER ANNOUNCES
HOMOPHOBIA TO DISAPPOINTED
FANS
bev <3 @beverlymarsh✅
@trashmouthtozier @benjaminhanscom @williamdenbrough @mikehanlon @edwardkaspbrak @urissquared this is the funniest fucking thing i’ve ever seen in my life [attached: article]
trash @trashmouthtozier✅
responding to @beverlymarsh
ARE YOU SHITTING ME RN???
eddie @edwardkaspbrak
responding to @trashmouthtozier
you fucking idiot
ben @benjaminhanscom✅
responding to @beverlymarsh
wow rich… incredibly disappointing
stan and pat @urissquared
responding to @beverlymarsh
brb framing this on the fridge
mickey mike @mikehanlon
responding to @beverlymarsh
a) who gave richie my password again b) this is upsetting for all of us… we expected more from someone we called a friend
bill @williamdenbrough✅
responding to @beverlymarsh
i think i speak for all of us when i say we truly never saw this coming :( in response i’ve decided to donate the next months worth of proceeds for all of my books to several LGBTQ+ charities. let it be known that we stand with pride for all of you.
trash @trashmouthtozier✅
responding to @williamdenbrough
I HATE ALL OF YOU SO FUCKING MUCH
trash @trashmouthtozier
FOR THE RECORD I WAS *TRYING* TO COME OUT AS NOT A STRAIGHT MAN
[attachment: a picture of richie in bed with another man. the man is curled into richies chest and therefore his face is not visible to the camera, but a pout is visible on richie’s face as well as a middle finger from the hand under the waist of the man he is, for lack of a better word, snuggling]
bev <3 @beverlymarsh✅
responding to @trashmouthtozier
this proves nothing
bacon @silvermining
responding to @trashmouthtozier
i don’t know what timeline we’re living in but i think someone dropped it
trashstan @polter
responding to @silvermining
i don’t give two shits this is the best day of my fucking life
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Another question about the timeline, where do you see Baku's visit to Eba's building and where does he learn the truth about Hal fit in (chapters 534-535)? I say this because during chapter 324, in a flashback that takes place after the bet against President Sakai (which happens before Baku goes to the Eba building) Baku thinks that Kyara will be a real ally when he stops being a referee, giving us the idea that Baku did plan from the beginning to lose the first Surpassing the Leader, which provokes another question, if at that time Baku didn't know that Hal would be the next leader, how could he predict that he would survive in the face of such a bet?
Sorry for English, it's not my first language.
dont worry about your english its good ^-^ its also not my first language so if u need me to rephrase something u can just ask :]
so i dont really know when baku visits eba's building exactly because its kept vague... but i agree it makes the most sense if its after the gamble vs sakai, i dont think we have a date for this? & it also has to be after nov 20th because thats when eba records the message, but before nov 23rd because thats when hal has the game vs fukurou so maybe its like this?
nov 20th (eba records the message intended for souichi)
nov 21st the gamble vs Sakai in the restaurant?
nov 22nd baku enters eba's building and finds out the truth about hal?
nov 23rd hal goes to bakus gamble in his place
i need to reread the 1998 flashbacks i might be missing some cues. the Sakai gambles (vs the son and the next day vs the father at the restaurant) could happen before nov 20th? but not too much before because i doubt eba would only record the message for souichi like 4 days after souichi got the book??? what would happen if he got here too quick and there was no message? after making the book, recording the message would probably be the first thing he does i think. im also biased towards putting baku's discovery of hal's secret as close as possible to the gamble vs fukurou cause thats the most dramatic and heartbreaking timing for things lol
for the foreshadowing about kyara becoming a real ally, the manga loves to make us question how much baku has stuff planned in advance- like, is he really SO GOOD he knew all along it would turn out like this? i think he genuinely loves risking his life and happens to have fate on his side. he DOES have plans but can he forsee things 2 years into the future? could he really know kyara would leave kakerou if baku lost surpassing the leader? i think this bit about kyara is probably one of these cases, like a stray thought he kept in his head for later, maybe he thought kyara might leave kakerou before?
and whether baku KNEW hed survive surpassing the leader or not is also one of those big questions. i think its yakou that first makes the theory, right? that baku lost on purpose and planned it all along? i think its true he did lose on purpose but only once he got there on april 9th. but that last part is my own speculation so with that in mind heres my theory for april 9th
i think after hal took his place for the nov 23rd gamble and never came back, baku was smart enough to know it meant hal died. i dont think he had any reason to think he couldve survived, somehow, so when challenging STL in 2001 when he has THIS LOOK
i think its because hes shocked to see hal (/souichi) alive. he truly believed he was dead and now hes realizing hes going to play STL with hal. and in that instant i think he makes the decision to lose on purpose because he thinks, if its hal, i will survive, he wont kill me. i think he had a more elaborate plan for the gamble but he didnt use it because he didnt expect hal being there and so instead he seizes THIS opportunity to be the funniest gambler in the history of kakerou and lose STL on purpose and still live LOL + kick in the mangas whole story (or he didnt have the heart to win against hal and kill him "again", you can choose your reading of this scene)
so baku finds out hal is a liar & a kiruma -> the next day hal takes his place in the gamble and dies -> 1.5 years later it turns out hal is alive & the leader of kakerou now??? AND HE HAS TO KILL HIM??? -> insane little plan to lose & survive and re-challenge souichi later. this is sooo messy and heartbreaking and i love it which is why its my interpretation of the events i just really love the tragedy between baku & souichi 🐝
#ask#anon#usogui timeline#usogui meta#also i couldnt find the kyara thing in chapter 324 :( i skimmed through the restaurant gamble n didnt see it either but it was real quick#i totally couldve just missed it
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who had Disney makes self-cest ship canon in the MCU on their 2021 bingo card?
#Loki TV series#i'm not even mad I just find it hilarious#they are kinda cute even#we are truly living in the funniest timeline
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We are truly living in the funniest possible timeline
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Didyme, Part 2: Something, Something, Plato's Allegory of the Cave
Continuing from here, and we’re doing sub-parts for this bit. I’m genuinely surprised I had this much to say. (And fun fact, I almost lost the entire goddamn post, but fortunately I was copy-pasting into Word just in case. Not today, Satan.)
2.1. What Canon Tells Us
Didyme’s murder by Aro (and with Caius’ apparent assistance, either during or afterwards), is only mentioned on the page in Life and Death, the 10th Anniversary gender-swapped version of Twilight. Edythe/Edward mentions it briefly when discussing the painting of the leaders Carine/Carlisle brought back from Volterra, but it’s just background information with little narrative weight. I bring it up just to highlight Caius’ involvement and knowledge -- I’ll get back to that.
Now, here’s the “canon” backstory we have to work with. Per the illustrated guide, Didyme was Aro’s younger sister, and he turned her at some point after meeting Marcus, Caius, and Athenadora. Interestingly, the Guide doesn’t say anything about Aro returning to Didyme out of brotherly love; apparently he just wanted to see if she would have a powerful gift like his, only to be underwhelmed (”disappointed,” according to his Guide entry) by her actual ability -- she made people happy just by being around them. Then she and Marcus fell in love, sharing “the strongest romantic bond of any of the Volturi” (from Marcus’ Guide entry), and this prompted a suddenly very single Aro to seek out his own mate, Sulpicia. The Guide says Didyme “distracted” Marcus from Aro’s goals, and that the pair eventually made plans to split off on their own, leading Aro to murder Didyme so he could hold onto Marcus and his valuable gift. Although nothing written so far suggests that Aro even liked his sister, the Guide does state that Aro “truly loved her” and that his grief upon killing Didyme was genuine.
Apparently Caius’ role in all is was something Meyer thought up later, because none of the leaders’ Guide entries mention him being in on it. (You can’t see me, but I’m staring pointedly at Part One.)
2.2. Fuck Canon, Actually
(This just seemed like the funniest place for a cut. Continued below~)
I’ll be honest with you, person who’s persistent/unfortunate enough to still be here: very little about this murder scenario makes sense to me. I’m going to start with the “disappointing” nature of Didyme’s gift and that it was supposedly much less useful to Aro than Marcus’, because that’s just...stupid, frankly, and there’s no way Aro would have missed the inherent utility of Didyme’s gift. I don’t even have to read into anything to get this idea -- the Guide itself shows us how useful it is! It says right there in Marcus’ entry that Aro went off to turn Didyme, and returned with his sister, “along with the first members of the guard -- vampires who were drawn to Didyme’s aura of happiness.” That is a direct quote.
Just -- I practically shrieked when I read that. You’re telling me that Didyme’s gift was the stated reason their coven got its first subordinates, and I’m supposed to believe that Aro thought that was disappointing? Fuck off! Fuck off!! Even if Didyme’s happiness aura isn’t as powerful as Corin’s opium haze, well, Aro doesn’t have Corin yet, does he? He has every reason in the world to want to keep Didyme around, drawing other vampires to his cause -- even if most of those vampires aren’t gifted or skilled enough to join the guard, it’s still good PR.
At this early stage in the Volturi’s rise to power, it isn’t a good time to lose Didyme -- or any of his inner coven, really. Yet Aro apparently considered her disposable enough that he killed her. I can’t square this with what we know about Aro: that he’s still coherent despite holding god-knows how many people’s lives in his head; that he’s very intelligent; that he’s cunning, charming, and persuasive. Aro, once he learned they were thinking about leaving, would have tried to talk to Didyme and Marcus and done everything in his power to convince them to stay just a bit longer, until the Volturi’s position was more secure. And maybe he did; the timeline of all this is hazy, but nothing in the Guide suggests that Aro jumped straight to duplicity and murder. Clearly, though, whatever negotiations or arguments he presented failed. So what does their desire to leave the Volturi at this critical stage say about Didyme, or Marcus for that matter?
2.3. What It Says About Didyme and Marcus (Mostly Headcanon)
Brace yourself, because we’re into full headcanon territory now. To follow me, please refer to @therealvinelle ‘s meta about the larger mission of the Volturi and why they’re necessary, because I’m starting from the perspective that the Volturi are ultimately a force working in vampires’ and humans’ favor. While Meyer and the Guide would have you believe that Aro’s just power-hungry, actually looking at the impact of the Volturi and the benefits of enforcing secrecy shows that his broader vision isn’t just world domination, but establishing a world in which vampires and humans can both thrive and endure. There’s no way the rest of the inner coven was unaware of this goal; we know Aro talks a lot, so he’s certainly talked his coven’s ears off about this.
Now, we know very little about Marcus and what he was like before he was all dead inside. Based on what would be a logical balance of personalities, with Aro as lead decision-maker and Caius as ruthless enforcer, it seems likely that Marcus was originally the voice of reason and/or mercy. I also think Marcus would have had a strong sense of duty. The Guide says that Aro was the first friend Marcus had as a vampire, and I believe that Marcus cared about him very much and was committed to the Volturi. I think he would have been genuinely conflicted about leaving, especially considering the stabler, safer world the Volturi have been striving to build, and which they haven’t yet secured. Again, it’s a very bad time for any of the leadership to split off -- but in the end, Marcus and Didyme are going to do it anyway.
What for, though? Why leave? @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin has an interesting take on that question here: that Didyme saw that she and Marcus would be locked into the Volturi life and a thankless existence for eternity and tried to opt out while she still could. I like it a lot, it’s a great post and that scenario makes sense, but the tone of it feels...too forgiving. Maybe that’s because I’m evil. But the way I see it, given the magnitude of the Volturi’s mission, and its (at best) very tenuous grip on power at the time Marcus and Didyme plan to leave (they haven’t even defeated the Romanians yet), jeopardizing the entire operation so that they can pursue their romance unburdened strikes me as...well, fundamentally selfish on some level, so much that I find myself side-eyeing Didyme and Marcus for it. Although to be clear, it’s not the desire to live their own lives apart from the Volturi that I find selfish, just the timing of their departure.
Honestly, I’d like not to vilify another female character if I don’t have to. Given everything I’ve just said, I see Didyme in much the same way as I see Bella: not a bad person, but someone with definite selfish tendencies. At best, she’s likely short-sighted or naive if she doesn’t see how leaving the Volturi at this stage is fucking them over in a big way. However, I hesitate to read into the happiness aura as a straightforward indication of Didyme’s fundamental goodness; I think she probably was kind, charming, and delightful to be around, hence the nature of her gift -- but that capacity for selfishness is still there. (I’m certain Meyer wants us to take her gift as proof of Didyme’s goodness, to reinforce how evil Aro is for killing her...but I think I’ve made my disdain for what Meyer wants me to think pretty clear.)
2.4. MURDER MOST FOUL
I am not saying it was justifiable or okay for Aro to murder his sister. I’m really not. It’s actually better, from a character standpoint, that it isn’t okay -- that Aro has to carry this with him for the rest of his life while Marcus sits in the throne next to him, reduced to a husk, so that in effect Aro has lost them both after all. It’s got that Greek tragedy element @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin mentioned in her post. (Even better from that standpoint, the Guide implies that Aro found Chelsea relatively soon after killing Didyme, which compounds the tragedy.) I mean, it’s terrible, and it hurts me because I love Aro, but it’s compelling stuff.
What I am saying is, I can see how their insistence on leaving might have deeply hurt and offended him. And that brings me to my issue with the calculated murder scenario the Guide gives us -- I still think Didyme’s gift is too valuable for Aro to throw away by killing her in cold...venom (or whatever), even as the price for keeping Marcus in the fold. Plus, there’s the fact that Aro does love Didyme, and I imagine her gift makes it very difficult for people to think of harming her...when they’re calm, anyway.
Yeah, the only way I can really see the murder happening is if Aro killed Didyme in the heat of an argument about her leaving, possibly even by accident -- except you can’t accidentally kill a vampire, can you? It’s a very deliberate process wherein you have to dismember them and burn every piece, which also means it probably takes long enough that any irrational, overwhelming rage would wear off before you were done. But now that you’ve started....
I mean, at that point it would certainly be awkward to put your half-rubble sister back together, and Aro would be in a whole other load of shit even if he did. It’s possible, given what we’re told, that Aro could have lashed out and yanked Didyme’s head off before snapping out of it, only to realize that his sole option now is to finish the job. If he doesn’t kill Didyme now, she and Marcus won’t just leave, they’ll be sworn enemies of Aro from then on. And thanks to Didyme’s gift being the draw for a lot of the guard, and the inherently bad look of a leader who would brutally attack his own sister, a chunk of the guard would probably leave with them, destroying Aro’s plans. No, the only way to salvage it is to follow through.
Then Aro has to call in Caius for help with the cover-up, because it wasn’t actually planned and it’s just pure luck that no one walked in on the murder as it was happening.
And maybe Aro learns a hard lesson about learning to let people walk away, leaving the possibility open that they could be drawn in again. Because if Aro had just waited, he would have found Chelsea, and with her gift he could have had Marcus and Didyme back again.
Assuming everything didn’t fall apart as soon as they left, of course. But that’s a whole other what-if scenario.
#and those are my thoughts on didyme#...mostly#but i need a break now#twilight#twilight renaissance#twilight meta#i stared too long and the twilight abyss gazed back#didyme volturi#aro volturi#marcus volturi#sources cited:#therealvinelle#theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin#i'm going to go lie down
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My thoughts on Episode 6--On the Inside
Very appropriate title by the way. Works in a multitude of ways.
As always, my randomness is going beneath a cut again to spare the eyeballs of those of you that don’t want to see it at all and also? Help those of you that have somehow stayed spoiler-free in this brand-new age of early release episodes. It is still so wild to me that I’m a full episode ahead of half the fandom. I don’t know what I’m going to do when we get to the final episode and they decide to make us all suffer together--because somehow I do feel they will do exactly that after spoiling us for the first 23 episodes. It is going to be agonizing.
Anyway. Without further ado, Shae’s stream of consciousness review (of sorts).
Not fair, Angela. Opening the episode with that shot of that big ass spider. I hate those suckers. So naturally, they’re an easy sell for setting the horror scene to me, lol.
Okay. Who the hell’s chasing Virgil and Connie? Walker No-See-Ums?
Barely a minute in and the atmosphere for this episode is moody AF.
What is this? Tara Jr. The Walking Dead? LOL. Where’s the Scarlett for this mini plantation house? Anyway. First three minutes of this episode? Just as attention grabbing as the first five episode openings this season. I don’t think people out there are giving our writers enough love for that. Every episode so far has opened like a mini movie.
With the way the Walking Dead logo keeps crumbling away with each successive episode, somehow it wouldn’t surprise me at all if the Carol and Daryl spinoff was eventually titled The Living and had flowers growing out of each letter, lol. I mean, there would be a certain sort of life-affirming symmetry in a show that’s been promised to be much lighter in tone doing just that.
More Carol and Aaron? Yes, please. I don’t necessarily like Carol staying at home and sitting the sidelines like a figurative happy little homemaker in the B story while the rest of the mains are trying like hell to sell the A story, but if she’s going to be totally prohibited from the main storyline until it’s time to blow shit up? I’m going to continue enjoy getting to see her do what she should have been doing for seasons--interacting with others in the community, especially Aaron and the ladies.
Truly. I really am loving my girl getting some quality Aaron and Rosita time. It’s so long overdue.
Bless sweet Kelly. Riding off to her sister’s rescue.
Why isn’t Lydia shown as part of these plans? For someone that could barely read last season, I doubt that big ass map was a piece of cake for her and it’s all just guesswork anyway without her guidance. I mean, why does it feel like they are cutting some of this stuff that might not seem like much plot-wise but would go a long way toward establishing different character beats? Personally, I would have loved to see her involved in the search and sharing scenes again with Carol and bonding with Kelly.
Virgil be having that “I always feel like somebody’s watching me” feeling. Don’t you hate that, lol?
“You haven’t slept in days.” But how many days, Virgil? I’m going to need a number because I’m confused AF about this timeline at this point. What we’re seeing and what different pieces of dialogue is telling us is not exactly lining up. I’m going to find it awful hilarious if it hasn’t even been two weeks since the cave in. For reasons.
Connie’s spidey senses are clearly tingling.
Alrighty, then. She’s clearly got PTSD. Understandable. They’ve all had it. Some have been treated more sympathetically than others, though.
I mean, it never seems to cross anybody’s mind how Carol probably sees Henry’s head on that pike, Mika’s pale and bloody body, Lizzie crumpled face down in a bed of yellow flowers, Sophia with a smoking bullet hole through her undead head whenever she closes her eyes but whatever.
Okay though. But what if Connie had really shitty, impossible to read handwriting? AKA doctor’s handwriting. What then?
Leah’s face honestly twists my insides whenever I see it, lol. It’s quiet a visceral thing. No, that does not make me a horrible person. Not everybody wants or has to drink the awesome, great, redeemable villainess Kool-Aid. IMHO, she’s got a face meant for a Walker. Perfect makeover idea. Eh. Mostly it’s her expression and the deadness of her eyes.
Anyway. Why is it always the fingers? Eff that.
Listen. If ya’ll can’t tell Daryl’s conflicted AF with the situation he’s landed in, you don’t know how to read NR’s face and eyes. He’s not a masterclass like MMB but he’s pretty darn good when he wants to be.
I honestly feel sorry for Redshirt Frost.
“You do what you gotta do.” Frost knows what’s what and he’s willing to walk the walk for Maggie. Impressive loyalty. I’m left wondering how the current, colder incarnation of Maggie inspired it because I’m still struggling to see it. Anywho. My point is the dude knows the score and just gave Daryl the okay.
Daryl taking off his angel vest before stepping into the role of torturer/interrogator=him shedding the persona/the man Judith and RJ and Lydia and Carol know him to be. Pushing away his man of honor status so he can just survive somehow.
Pope never quits chewing whatever the hell he’s got in his mouth. It’s kind of distracting.
Ohhh. We’re back to the Haunted Mansion. I mean house. Where are the Hitchhiking Ghosts?
All the eyes scratched out of those creepy pictures=spooky.
The good old fogged up bathroom mirror shot. Somebody’s been watching and studying their horror movies, lol. Not gonna lie though. I’m legit bracing myself for the jump scares I know have to be coming.
I’m loving the music/score in these scenes.
Truthfully, I could care less about these Reapers. But they are hella attractive, lol. Listen. Angela knows what she’s doing.
Kelly’s horse is so pretty. Prayer chain for that baby.
More dead horses? Why?
Connie’s slingshot? Sorry. I maintain, no matter how much I like these two, that they have the lamest weapons ever. Endless supply of Virginia rocks or not.
So. Did Virgil and Connie enjoy a little equine for dinner? Did they kill it before the Walkers fed? What monsters! Yeah, no. Not if they were starving even if I personally could not have. The more probable story is they fled the camp in a panic and left the horse behind and then it went down. Sorry. I didn’t exactly study the wounds on the poor animal because it is so traumatizing to me to continue to see them meet such dastardly ends on this show. I don’t know who the hell has such a score to settle with horses but stop it.
Days. It’s only been days. Not weeks. So many times with all that Daryl and Company have had to contend with since the cave in? Those do not exist, lol. They’re just a convenient, appeasing piece of dialogue thrown at a fanbase primed and ready to read everything into not much of anything. There’s just not been enough time for it to happen unless Daryl has literally been up 24/7 for all of them. You know, strategizing how to attack the remainders of Alpha’s horde, figuring out how to defend Hilltop before it fell, healing from the wound he sustained at Alpha’s hand, sitting on that log all damn night with Negan waiting on Carol to come home, having a lover’s quarrel with his best damn everything, taking care of the Grimes babies and Lydia, being the reluctant leader. Kang, why you playing them like that? Daryl’s a super guy but he’s not a superhuman with clones. So many times my ass.
Seriously. Who been watching Connie and Virgil? The MIA Oceansiders? Beta’s Fee Fi Fo Fum Ghost?
Nice. A Michonne mention. Maybe the truth will start to trickle out.
LMAO at Connie’s “I’m not staying here.” Me neither, girl. I would be outta that house so fast.
They really “Quiet Placing” this episode. Honestly? I’m kinda loving it.
WTF was that? I know she can’t hear but you telling me all the little hairs on her arms, legs, and neck didn’t stand the fuck up and say fuck this shit, I’m gone? Pardon my language, lovelies, but that moment had my heart kicking up several beats.
Okay, okay. To be fair to Connie, every hair on her body been doing that since the front door closed. Maybe they’re desensitized.
Gollum’s chasing Connie!!! He/She wants their Precious!!!
The knee jerk reactions about this episode sight unseen are OTT, honestly. And I mean no disrespect by saying that. I can understand completely where they’re coming from because we’ve been burned so long in this fandom. But it’s obvious the spoiler source has their particular biases and reads into things in such a way that don’t line up with what’s actually being shown onscreen. Daryl’s loyalty in this episode and all along quite clearly lies with his family and his community. He’s been playing Leah since the start and is truly just trying to survive somehow.
Awful thought. The Reaper that’s so suspish of Daryl--haven’t quite caught his name or really cared to. I feel like he might try to get to Daryl somehow. When he realizes that Daryl cares no more for Leah than any human would care for somebody (they thought) they used to know? He’s going after Dog. Or Carol should she finally join this story.
I refuse to believe Carol isn’t going to be a part of this story. Because they messing with her mans, lol.
“You’re ever with us or you’re not.” Now where have I heard those words before? I wish I could find that Daryl gif because that had to be one of the funniest things ever, lol.
Unrealistic suggestion to Daryl, Leah? Breathing oxygen seems to piss off Carver. Oh look. He finally has a name for me, lol.
I love how all three of the ladies--Carol, Magna, and Rosita--look at Kelly with such indulgent, adoring “little sis, you alright?” eyes.
They are seriously the most beautiful quartet of characters. I mean all of them are lovely but Carol and Rosita this season? Ugh. The unfairness of the pretty.
Human bones. Terminus callback, lovelies. How it all would have eventually gone down if Gareth and Co. hadn’t met the business end of Rick’s red machete.
So many horror movie homages in this one.
Virgil’s like “let’s leave this Texas Chainsaw Massacre behind.”
Connie and Virgil have obviously bonded, ya’ll. I’m surprised by how much I’m enjoying their scenes together when the character mostly got on my nerves with Michonne. He’s a good actor and the core of his character is sympathetic, but I’m not going to lie. I wasn’t super enthused when he was the one that rescued Connie because I didn’t know how their scenes would play out. But there’s a nice synergy there.
Okay. Does Carver want Leah for himself? Because I’m sure Daryl at this point would love to scream “take her, I know where I fucking belong!”
Daryl’s digging in deep because Carver has shown him Leah’s potential weak spot. Nuance is truly lost on some people, LMAO. He cares about Leah as a human being probably. He’s Daryl, after all. The sweet one. But he sees her as his way outta this and he’s going to exploit it.
It’s nice to have a silent Negan for once, lol. I can pretend he didn’t take my baby Glenn away from me and enjoy JDM’s pretty.
So. These cannibal people were the watchers? Hmm.
I’m really digging Virgil 2.0. Yeah. Nobody’s surprised more than me.
Sweet, sweet scene between Virgil and Connie. His determination to reunite her with her family brings back the sympathy I felt for him when he told Michonne “I promised her flowers. Every day.”
Damn. How many of those creepy crawly cannibals are there?
How brave of Connie to confront her fears to save someone she’s obviously grown to care about.
The Kelly/Connie reunion gave me chills and made me cry. Thank fuck Angela didn’t cheapen that moment by having it focus on literally anybody else. Kelly is the most important person in the whole world to Connie and vice versa. Just like Carol is the most important person in the whole world to Daryl and vice versa. Angela fucking knows. Everybody does. Except the people busy building castles out of sand while the waves of Carol’s and Daryl’s converging stories keep crashing closer and closer to shore.
Such a beautiful moment given to us by Angel Theory and Lauren Ridloff. So authentic and sweet. Kelly and Connie are home to each other.
Poor Frost. That’s all I gotta say about that.
WTF, though. Was Mel just not available or what? I want to see more of the ASZ characters that I care about, not the Reapers. Like I’d be fine with the story if all the characters not named Maggie, Negan, or Daryl weren’t surviving on crumbs during it. Especially the 2nd billed actress on the entire show. Angela. Please. Fix this.
One last WTF. Seriously. WTF has Maggie done to inspire Pope’s obsession? It better be juicy after all this shit.
Overall impression of the episode--
One of my favorites of the season so far. The horror aspects were fantastic, IMHO. I truly didn’t expect to like Connie and Virgil’s scenes as much together so that was a nice surprise. She got the reunion that felt most true and earned for the character and her story and I thank Angela from the bottom of my heart for that.
I would have loved more Carol but I always want more Carol. I’m okay with her taking a backseat because ultimately? This was Kelly’s moment with her sister. Carol and Connie will eventually have their time to sit down and talk. And pick back up their blossoming friendship because I truly do not feel Connie blames Carol at all.
I do wish Lydia had been included with the girl group. Last episode felt like it was leading up to that.
The Reaper storyline continues to be the weakest link because every time we see them the dialogue and interactions feel totally recycled from the time previous. I feel like it would have totally been helped by a tighter focus and less stretching out because 8 episodes of this is really diluting what I feel like Angela and Co. are going for. I’m not here for Leah being redeemed or being a bigger focus in any of the episodes because she does nothing of interest for me. I’m just peeking in on that story for the Daryl of it all.
Speaking of the Daryl? You lovelies out there gotta stop taking that spoiler source’s recaps at face value because it’s obvious to me at least that there’ some bias at work. Every action and word coming from Daryl is coming from a place of loyalty to his family and wanting to protect them, no matter how he has to dirty his hands. Leah is just a means to his ultimate end. She’s not his future. She never was. His future’s already spoken for and 2023 can’t get here soon enough. But like Daryl, we have to just survive somehow.
Oh goodie. More Maggie and Negan next episode and looks like no real follow up on Connie and the ASZ reunions. Hopefully, this is yet another instance of the previews being deceiving but I’m not holding my breath.
Until later, lovelies.
Hope my word vomit didn’t bore you too much.
#The Walking Dead#Season 11#TWD spoilers#things that make me smile and cry#for reasons#ignore all the typos#with something this longwinded?#LOL#there's bound to be plenty
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Birthday wishes
A/N Hello lovely humans! The Alvez family, Luke, Penelope, Luna, Roxy and Sergio, are back! Honestly I have a bunch of little cousins and have worked with many children so much of my inspiration comes from witnessing their imagination, so I think there’ll be a Luna series with oneshots/drabbles about this little girl’s adventures with her parents, that being said I’m sure someday I’ll come up with an idea for when Luna was a baby or something so the timeline will be crazy. Enjoy! (Also I finished writing/queuing this at almost 3am so probably more typos than usual)
Pairing: Penelope Garcia x Luke Alvez
Wordcount: 1706 (And I thought this was gonna be a drabble)
Masterlist
It was Saturday and in an unexpected turn of events, Penelope had been called to work but only for a couple hours, in the meantime Luke stayed home with Luna and they both attempted to bathe Roxy, the result of that was all three of them wet as Roxy escaped from them and ran around the house, Sergio looked at them from a safe distance not wanting to get involved in the mess, Luke was convinced their cat was judging him.
After they finally succeeded in bathing Roxy, Luke made lunch for all of them and Penelope arrived to see her family sitting in the living room eating sandwiches and drinking lemonade they had made using their own lemons from the tree in their backyard.
“Mommy, you’re home!” Luna quickly ran to her mom and she received her with open arms.
“I am, baby, how was your morning? Did you guys have a good time?” Penelope lifted Luna in her arms and kissed her cheek.
“It was great, we bathed Roxy and we played in the garden” She replied with a big smile on her face as Penelope walked to couch and sat in it, sitting Luna in her lap.
“I’m happy to hear that, now finish your lunch, Lu” Luke offered her a glass of lemonade, she had texted earlier letting him know that she had lunch during her work meeting.
“Hello babe, how was work? Was there a problem?” Luke questioned slightly worried as to why she was called on a Saturday.
Penelope shook her head “It was just an impromptu meeting we needed to have with one of the big bosses because he was in town, they reassured us it was a one time occasion and I hope they’re not lying” She sipped on her lemonade “Wow, you guys, the lemonade is delicious”
“There’s more in the fridge if you want, mommy” Luna offered as she hurried to eat her lunch.
“Slow down there, Luna” Luke asked her and though the little girl slowed down, she still seemed anxious to finish her sandwich.
“What’s got you in a hurry, miss?” Penelope asked as she stole a frie from Luke’s plate.
“I want to tell you something” Penelope looked at her husband with narrowed eyes to what he shrugged his shoulders, not knowing what their daughter was talking about.
“I’m done! Can I show you now?” She pleaded with big eyes.
“Go and brush your teeth and then you can show us” Luna nodded and hopped through the hallway with Roxy following closely behind, the two were inseparable since Luna had been born.
Penelope turned to see Luke with wide eyes and a smirk “What do you think it’s going on that little mind of hers?”
“I don’t know but I’m scared” He finally leaned closer to her and pecked her lips.
She sighed “I just hope she hasn’t changed her mind about her birthday party, after begging us to throw a Roxy themed party I would hate to not use all the stuff we already got”
“You insisted on printing a million stickers with Roxy’s face” Luke joked and threw his arm around her.
“I can’t believe she’s turning five already! I’m so emotional” Penelope confessed to him and he kissed her temple.
Luke sighed “I know, I can’t believe how big she is” As if on cue Luna and Roxy came back and to both, she looked five feet tall.
“I talked to my friend Kelly and she told me about the Birthday fairy” Both of her parents looked confused but not that shocked, sometimes Luna and her friends came up with the funniest ideas.
“What did she say about the Birthday fairy?” Penelope signaled her to come closer to them and then they noticed Luna was holding something, Luke placed his almost five year old on his lap.
“That you can ask for a birthday wish, it’s like Santa” Luke was starting to get nervous as to what she was gonna ask, mostly because he knew he would do everything and anything to get it for her.
“Oh, and what’s that you got here?” He asked Luna and she showed a piece of paper folded in half.
“I made a letter like I do for Santa” She opened it and gave it to him, there were random letters, a drawing and her name because she had learned to write it recently.
Penelope tried to guess what her daughter asked for but failed to decipher her letter “Can you read it for us, baby?”
“Dear Birthday fairy, I hope you are doing okay, I’m turning five next month” She looked hesitantly to her parents as if asking if she had that part correct.
“Go on, princess” Luke winked and Penelope took another sip of her lemonade and listened to her daughter.
“And I would like a baby brother” Her mom almost choked on her drink and her dad’s eyes shot open but laughed soundly “Mommy, are you ok?”
“Yes, Lu, I’m fine” Before her parents knew what to say she continued “reading”
“I love all my cousins so much but I really like to play with Michael but he’s not my brother, he is Henry’s little brother and I want one too so I can play all the time with him, thank you very much, Luna Grace Alvez” She finished and Luke had a huge grin on his face while Penelope looked terrified.
Luke decided to have the conversation seeing his wife was still figuring out what to say “Lune, sweetheart, baby brothers take more than a month to arrive” Luna scrunched her nose and looked exactly like her mom whenever she did that.
“It’s ok, I can wait two months, you can help me mark down the days like we do for my birthday and Christmas” When she finished, she yawned as she was used to take an afternoon nap and that’s when Penelope saw her way out of the subject.
“Baby, it’s time to take a nap, come on” Luna didn’t fight her mom and quickly linked her arms around her daddy’s neck so he could carry her to her bedroom.
A good twenty minutes later Luke returned to find Penelope sitting in the same exact spot with the same worried look on her face.
“I really wasn’t expecting that” She confessed as she removed her glasses and leaned her head on the couch.
“I was surprised for a second but kind of saw it coming” Penelope glared at him with suspicion in her eyes.
“Did you put her up to this, Alvez?” He laughed and shook his head.
“No, I mean I didn’t expect it today but all of her cousins have siblings, I thought the idea would appear in her head sooner or later” She massaged her temples “Wow, is it that bad to have my children?” Once again Penelope glared at him and he swore she would throw him something “I’m kidding, I’m honestly kidding, what do you think?”
“I don’t know, I always pictured her as an only child, us as a party of five, dad, mom, daughter of our dreams, dog child, cat child” She extended her hand so Luke would sit beside her.
“Ok, then we’ll talk to her about it, we’ll find a way” As ever Luke was supportive of her and Penelope felt both thankful but also uncertain, he had a say in the decisions of their family as well.
“What do you want?” She looked at him and saw a hint of worry in his eyes “Come on, babe, be honest”
“Well I wouldn’t mind becoming a party of six but I wouldn’t even think about it if it’s something you don’t truly want” He shot her a smile, Penelope placed a hand on his cheek and he leaned into her touch “I mean it, Pen”
Penelope sighed “The truth is I’m scared, I’m just getting the hang of being a mom of one, and she’s almost five” Her eyebrows were raised and her eyes were wide open.
“Babe, it’s about learning, I don’t know how to be a dad of two either, I mean, remember how much we called JJ, Matt and Derek because we had no idea of what we were doing? And now, look at us, she’s turning into a wonderful tiny human who cares for people and animals and insects and plants, you should’ve seen her talking to the lemon tree about how we were taking the lemons so he could grow more” Luke recalled the moment and held Penelope’s hand, and Penelope thought that her daughter would make an amazing big sister.
“She cares for non living objects as well, the other day you were in Phoenix, she accidently stepped on one of my pens and cried because she had broke it” Luna’s ability to care for others was always something that amazed everyone who knew her and it made both of them really proud.
“So are you gonna think about it?” Luke asked wishing she’d say yes.
“I don’t think I have to think about it” She saw his face fell and explained herself “I mean, you’re right, I remember how scared I felt when our sweet Luna was born, and I still get scared, I mean she keeps growing up and the next thing we know we’ll be parents to a teenager and as sweet as she can be, she’s also stubborn and determined, just imagine…” Luke cut her off as he looked pale now.
“Please, don’t go there, she’s my sweet little girl who asks permission to pick flowers not to go on dates or parties and I’d like to think that’s the way it will always be” She smiled seeing him so reluctant about thinking what the future would look like in another ten years.
“Ok but if I agree can we already start talking about names? I love talking about baby names” She wondered with excitement on her voice.
“I’d rather go straight into baby making” He suggested as he eyed her in a very suggestive way.
“Hmmm, you always have the best ideas, after all Luna’s nap just started” She smiled and let him lead both of them to their bedroom.
#penelope garcia#luke alvez#garvez#garvez imagine#garvez fanfiction#criminal minds#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fanfiction#luna alvez series#luke x penelope#garcia x alvez
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wi rehab week 3 review: the Week™. i KNOW this post is long but god please read about my misfortune if yall want a Saga
current status on raccoons: clement
number of monster energy drinks consumed: 2
number of buns directly killed: 1
Days Since Last Diarrhead on: 1
Baby Raccoon Count: 150ish? probably 130 that need to be bottle fed
new tasks performed:
baby opossum cage maintenance
baby waterfowl cage maintenance
SQ fluid administration on raccoons
SQ vaccine administration on raccoons
What To Do When Your Tire Goes Flat 101
oral medication administration on possums
CHRONOLOGICAL TALE OF MISFORTUNE: i’m not going to do this regularly but the sheer amount of bad shit that happened this week was COMICAL so let me break down everything that happened to me this work week
MONDAY 6/8
got diarrhead on during 6am raccoon feeding
straight up killed a baby rabbit during bun feeding. they stress real easily and i’m bad at tubing so i had him out for a while and he just fuckin. died. from stress. in my hands. directly because of me being bad at my job. so you know that was uhhhhhhhhhhhhh
shovelled out wet dirty woodchips out of a walk-in enclosure with like 8 goslings using a snowshovel w/ another baby intern. you can’t put a ton of woodchips into one trash bag so we had to keep changing out the trash bag and it was like 92 degrees out and we were both wearing cloth masks and on god i really thought we were gonna die in there
during the pm feeding i get peed on by the EXACT SAME RACCOON that diarrhead on me during the am feeding
TUESDAY 6/9: the Day(tm)
i have a therapy appointment scheduled at 2pm. my shift is 6am-2pm. i’ll need to leave at 1:30pm to get to it. i tell my supervisors this. it’s chill. i still feel bad about it, because i have anxiety.
right off the bat, i get scolded by my Actual Boss for doing something i watched one of the supervising interns do
6am raccoon feeding: get diarrhead on again.
a rac RIPS the fucking nipple off of the baby bottle we’re feeding them with and formula gets fucking everywhere. i say out loud at this moment “IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK”. one of my supervising interns feels bad for me and keeps trying to cheer me up throughout the day. she does make me feel better.
i get dishes which is fine bc i dont mind dishes for real but my hands turn into sandpaper the day after doing dishes for 2 hours so this is more :| than :/. i make jokes about how bad my week is going. the mood is, generally, looking up.
next raccoon feeding is scheduled for noon. raccoons are housed in a separate building, so it’s about a 5 minute drive to get there from the main area. we get ready to leave around 1pm. recap: i need to leave at 1:30pm for a therapy appointment. i’m planning on driving my own car down there so i can do this. it’s chill.
on my way down there, i start hearing the most godawful screeching of metal. i am, quote, “like uhhh.” when i open the gate to turn onto the highway, i stick my head out the window to look
my tire is flat.
i have a flat tire.
my fucking tire is FLAT dude.
>mfw
>
>
pull over after gate
tell the staff member following me “hey i have a flat tire so im probably not going to make it down to feed today” and shes like flkdjsalfksd okay
call the ONE supervising intern whose number i have, who is the one who heard me say IM HAVING A GREAT WEEK, like GUESS WHICH BITCH HAS A FLAT TIRE LMFAOOOOOOO. just making that one call was the funniest fucking thing that’s ever happened in my entire life
to quote her verbatim: “i guess you are having a bad week”
call my dad, who as it turns out was actively teaching a class when i called, so i am well and truly facked and am DEFINITELY not making this therapy appointment
ok. take a deep breath. check my car. i have a donut in my car. i have not changed a tire in three years, and have never changed one in the scenario of I Have A Flat Tire. fack. relay this to the one supervising intern whos number i know (i’m going to call her supervising intern 1 going forward here). ask her if anyone knows how to change a tire.
supervising intern 1 calls back. apparently there’s a guy who lives on the same property we’re on named donnie. donnie is a maintenance worker who helps out a lot around the rehab place. donnie can help me change my tire. apparently someone currently down feeding raccoons is going to come pick me up and bring me over there so i can continue to feed raccoons until donnie can fix my tire.
get call from supervising intern 2, whose number i did not have, apparently it got relayed. i ask her if anyone down there can change a tire. she says she can change a tire. she will help me change my tire she finishes on raccoon feeding. ok sounds good. someone is still going to come pick me up.
get call back 10 minutes later. apparently donnie is in the middle of a field right now and it is unlikely that he can fix my tire. someone is still going to come get me to feed raccoons, maybe. i tell her supervising intern 2 can help me change my tire after we finish our shift. she says thats fine. ok cool sick.
try to call therapist. i have no signal. send email which is, verbatim: “Hey! I'm currently on the the side of of the the road in [TOWN 30 MILES AWAY] with a flat tire, so I'm not going to make our appointment today. If we could reschedule for sometime soon, that would be great.” signal is bad, so this ends up being sent at 3pm.
(ALSO I LEARNED ABOUT THIS TODAY BUT APPARENTLY IN THE TIMELINE THERE’S A FIGHT HERE BETWEEN SUPERVISING INTERNS 1 AND 2 OVER HOW THE SITUATION IS PLAYING OUT WHICH IS EQUAL PARTS HILARIOUS AND “MAKES ME FEEL BAD”)
one of the other baby interns comes to pick me up and bring me down to racs. i walk in like AYYYYYYY and start feeding raccoons.
i get diarrhead on again.
i get diarrhead on again again.
apparently 3 in one day is a record.
my shift is supposed to end at 2pm. we usually end up staying until 2:15-2:30ish, because that’s usually when the other team gets down here. since supervising intern 2 is currently my savior, she is going to drive me back over when the other team gets here and she leaves. other baby interns leave at 2:15ish, i think.
the other team is, apparently, running late. they get here at 3pm.
supervising intern 2 drives me back over at 3pm. we get to my car.
the donut is on.
the tire is in the trunk.
apparently donnie was, in fact, able to come change my tire. no one told me this.
im like ok. this is fine. i tell supervising intern 2 thank u for my life. i leave.
my donut has a 50mph max speed limit. i tell google maps to avoid highways on my way home. this turns my 30 minute drive home into a 50 minute one, and still ends up with me being terrifyingly tailgated by trucks for going 10 miles under the speed limit. i almost, but do not, run out of gas on the way home.
i get home around 4:10pm. i call the auto shop across the street from me and tell them i have a flat tire, but i need the car by 6am tomorrow. do they think they can have it fixed by then. they tell me to bring it over and they’ll let me know.
i bring the car over. i give them my keys. i say thank you and leave.
i realize that my garage door opener is in my car, which is now locked. i have no other way into the house, because our garage door keypad has been broken for 2 years. the sliding glass door in the backyard is locked.
i walk back into the auto shop 5 minutes later and ask in the Polite But Obviously Having A Day tone if i can have my keys back so i can get it. i get my garage door opener out of my car. i give the keys back.
i enter my home. i lay spread-eagled on my bed for one hour.
auto place calls back and tells me they fixed the tire. im like did you replace it or did u fix it. theyre like we fixed it come on over. i almost cry on the phone.
go back over. guy is like “ya u ran over a screw LOL”. gives me my keys back. i wait to pay
after a bit hes like “you dont have to pay anything. this is on the house.”
almost cry
thank him
get car
go home
eat
shower
go to bed at 8pm
WEDNESDAY (6/10)
everyone at work is immediately like AYYY and in general just very nice about the whole thing. i thank everyone involved for helping. its chill
dont get diarrhead on this feeding but i do get bit for like NO got dam reason what the fack
next up is cleaning juvenile cages and i swear to god i get the nastiest. fucking. raccoon cage i have ever seen in my entire life. there was an...i wanna say eigth-of-an-inch thick layer of raccoon diarrhea across this 2 foot x 4 foot cage
like on GOD the smell was so bad i was gagging through a goddamn cloth mask just. oh my god. i had to just go stand outside and stare into the abyss afterwards for a few minutes it was so NASTY IT WAS SO NASTY
mercifully, i am spared from further misfortune for the rest of the day. i come home. i am so tired.
WAIT I HAVE TO MENTION THAT SUPERVISING INTERN 1 HAD SUCH BAD LUCK FEEDING RABBITS TODAY SO LIKE...my luck is contagious
notes and observations
anyone who is anti-euthanasia in animal shelters and any other large-scale animal welfare places in general can absolutely suck my dick
most other baby animals will generally have various stages of “baby x”, but opossums look like Adults Except Tiny from a very early age. they have stolen my heart.
birds are poopy little creatures
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This Christmas
Word Count: 7660 I am so sorry
Warnings: Swearing, Indication of sexual intercourse
Author’s Note: The actual timeline might be off here but this is meant to take place during about a three-week break in between shooting Spiderman: Homecoming. Also this is hardly about Christmas, whoops, sorry.
“I know you do, but Tom—” You took the risk of looking at him. Shaking your head, you choke out a sob, “I just don’t know what to think anymore.”
Things between you and Tom have been hard recently, with his whole career flourishing. The whole Spiderman franchise really changed both of your lives. You were happy for him, but it always seemed like there was something missing, like something else was more important. He never answered your calls, hardly texted you back. He simply wasn’t there anymore.
“Don’t think, baby, don’t think.” He was confident with his statement, grabbing both of your hands in his and kissing them gently. “I’m here and I’m not leaving anytime soon.” He looked at you with so much love, so much adoration. You knew he meant it, but that didn’t stop your heart from grieving when he was away.
You sighed deeply, removing your hands out from his. “What about Zendaya?” You loved her, even before you truly got to know her. She was someone real, someone you’ve always looked up to. Tom, of course, clicked with her the moment they met. You remembered the way his face would light up as he would tell you stories over FaceTime, claiming she was, and I quote, “the funniest girl he has ever met.” It wasn’t like that put a dagger through your heart or anything.
(Not at all.)
“You know that’s nothing. You know she’s only a friend.” Yeah, quite a good friend. He has told you time and time again that this is something the media would do. Rumor him and his co-star together. You just never thought it would bother you so much.
“I love you, Tom. But I can’t do this anymore.” You took the last bit of courage you had left in you and closed your eyes. “I’m breaking up wi—”
The feeling of rough, wet kisses brings you out of your slumber. Your face twists into discomfort as you roll over onto your stomach. You tried to fall back asleep, rubbing your cheek on the soft sheets beneath you, but heavy breathing coming from beside you kept you from doing so. You turn your head to the side, opening your eyes to see the figure beside you.
A small gray canine was sitting on the bed next to you, her tail wagging swiftly behind her. The second your eyes meet hers, she bends down, attacking you with kisses yet again.
(Oh, Tessa.)
You push away from her, a soft smile coming to your face as you wipe away the slobbery wetness from your cheeks. (God I am so tired). As you slowly fluttered your eyes awake, adjusting to the bright lights coming in through the bedroom window, you took notice of your surroundings.
Tom’s childhood bedroom was nothing super fancy. It was small and cozy including many posters, friendly photos, and stickers that hung proudly on the walls. Not to mention the mass amount of Spider-Man gadgets around the room. The large bed in the center completed the room where you and Tom previously slept the night before.
Slowly petting Tessa beside you, you took notice of the red ribbon wrapped around her neck. (Well, this is new.) You took the material in between your fingers, rubbing it lightly.
“Shit. Fu—Tessa.” The raspy whispers brought your head up to the doorway, seeing your boyfriend quickly enter the room. “Fuck. Y/N, I’m so sorry...Tessa, come here.” His voice is still a hushed whisper as he shoos her off the bed and out of the room. He gives her a quick kiss on the head and taps her bum as she runs out of the room, the large ribbon around her neck flying wickedly. Tom quietly closes the door behind her, turning to you with a soft, sympathetic smile. “I am so sorry, darlin’.”
You couldn’t help your eyes as you scanned him over. He was wearing a black hoodie and your favorite pair of his pajama pants, plaid blue and black. He makes his way over to you, dropping his knee on the bed as he leans over to place a kiss on your head. “Good morning.”
You closed your eyes at the pressure of his lips on your hair, a low hum escaping you. “What time is it?” You asked, wiping away sleep you had left in your eyes.
He pulled back the covers of the bed, shuffling underneath it to lay next to you. You saw him pull out his phone from his pajama pants, the screen coming alive with the time. “About 9:40,” he read before unlocking his phone, going through his notifications.
You tried not to peak at the mass amount of text messages he’s received from his friends, Zendaya being one of the first he opened. Upon seeing the name, your mind was brought back to your dream of the night, your heart heavy as you replayed it in your mind. Of course you wished you didn’t feel the way you did. Unfortunately, your subconscious knew your heart better than you did, frequently coming up with scenarios your heart was so anxiously aching to. You almost felt guilty, having him so close to you with such thoughts running through your brain. “Is everyone else up?”
Your stomach turned as he simply smiled at his phone, his fingers quickly replying back to the message. (He doesn’t even hear me anymore.) Upon finishing his message, he finally replies. “Yeah,” he drops his phone on the bed and wraps his arm around you. “We’ve all been awake for hours.” He lays his chin atop your head, closing his eyes with a soft sigh.
These are the moments you missed most when he was gone. Tom used to be so good at making you feel loved, making you feel safe. Now? You don’t really know. “Why didn’t you wake me?” You ask, your fingers rubbing the material of his sweatshirt between your fingers.
“I know you didn’t sleep well last night. I felt you tossing a good toll of the night.” You could feel the vibrations off his chest as he spoke, “Honestly, I’m not surprised. I’ve always found it hard to sleep the night before Christmas.”
(Good job, Y/N.)
“Paddy really wanted me to wake you up. He’s dying to open presents.” He chuckles, slightly pulling away to look down at your face. “We had to tell him to wait.”
You put a hand to your face, silently cursing yourself for almost forgetting it was such an important day. Even more, you were so inconsiderate that you had everyone wait up for you. “Guess I was just too excited myself.” You force out a faint chuckle. That was a lie and you knew it. You spent over half the night having a debate with yourself regarding your relationship with the boy lying next to you.
“Don’t worry about it, babe.” He presses yet another kiss on top of your head. His phone vibrates on the bed, a call coming through. “Oh, it’s Z!” He removes himself from beside you, getting up off the bed. He doesn’t even give you a second look as he takes the call and walks out of the room. You hear his voice trail off as he walks down the hall, his voice definitely more alive than just a second ago.
(Okay I guess?)
You finally get yourself out of bed, walking down the hall to the guest bathroom. You were slightly jealous of Zendaya, you weren’t afraid to admit it to yourself anymore. Her and Tom just seemed to get along so well, talking about parts of their job that you just couldn’t relate to.
As you walk into the bathroom, you prepare yourself for your own reflection. You probably looked hideous; your hair sticking up in weird places, your eyes droopy.
You flipped on the light and glanced at the figure reflecting back at you. You were pleasantly surprised to see that your hair framed your face perfectly, your lips were a soft pink, and a gentle glow radiated off your skin. You actually looked pretty good, despite how you felt inside. (Maybe my body is compensating for the fact that I’m thinking about breaking the heart of a wonderful boy while also shattering my own.)
You took a few human minutes in your morning routine, deciding to stay in your leggings and tank top. As you cross the hall making your way back to the room, you can’t help but listen to Tom’s laugh from the edge of the stairs. “Definitely. I wish you were here as well,” he speaks into the phone. You don’t stay a second longer, not wanting to hear another word and shut the bedroom door behind you.
You go over to Tom’s suitcase, pulling out a light gray sweatshirt, throwing it over your head. Wearing his clothes just made you feel closer to him, even if he wasn’t actually there. That’s really what you needed right now.
Everything changed the second he went out on his first outing with his co-stars. He told you it was to get to know them better before they started filming. And while you were excited for him and this new journey he was taking, you were just praying he wouldn’t get lost in the fame of it all. It didn’t even cross your mind that he would neglect you from him. Guess you didn’t think this new journey would take away from you so much.
You roll your eyes at your own thoughts. (God, could I be any more selfish? I should just be grateful that I’m with him now.) Deciding you would need your mood lifted before you walked out of the room, you give your mom a call.
After hearing a few of the dial ringings, she answers. “Well Merry Christmas, my darling.”
“Hi, Mom.” A smile finds its way to your face at her voice. “Merry Christmas to you, too.” You couldn’t deny that your voice didn’t reflect the feelings you wished you had—it sounds more forced than anything else. “How are you?”
“I’m doing good, sweety. How are you, are you feeling better?”
You let out a deep sigh, running your fingers through your hair. “Not really.” You gave your mom a late night call last night, trying to get advice on how to organize your thoughts and feelings. “I just keep feeling like....” There was a tight, hot pull at your chest, resulting in your eyes prickling with tears. “I just really miss you.”
Around this time of year, you were always with your family, performing in traditions that you’ve known since you were little. Of course, Tom was the same way, excited in the idea that you’d be joining his family for Christmas this year. At the time, it was what you wanted too.
There was silence on the line before you hear your mother’s soft voice. “Honey, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to have a wonderful Christmas with Tom and his family, New Year’s as well.” You felt as your head nodded along to her words, “Next thing you know you’ll be back home.”
You relished in the hope that her words would come true. You weren’t sure just how long you could feel this way without acting on something you’d regret. You dismissed your thoughts, shaking your head. You knew you would never be able to do such a thing, your heart was too invested in Tom. No matter what he did, you’d love him unconditionally. Wrapping up the call, you took one last glance in Tom’s closet mirror before stepping out of the room. The hallway was now empty, Tom nowhere to be found. Walking downstairs you hear the chatter of Tom’s family and frequent clattering of kitchen dishes.
“Why can’t we just wake her up?”
“Paddy, stop it. She’ll wake up soon enough.”
“It’s already 10 o’clock!”
You didn’t waste time in finally entering the kitchen, a guilty smile plastered on your face. Paddy shoots up the second he sees you. “Y/N!” He runs over to you, wrapping his small arms around you. “I’m so glad you’re awake. TOM, SHE’S AWAKE!”
You chuckle down at the little boy, ruffling his hair. “You can thank Tessa for that.” You smile as you see Tessa stroll into the kitchen not a second later, the ribbon around her neck now falling at weird angles.
“Oh, thank you, Tessa.” Paddy let’s go of you to run after the dog, chasing her into the living room. Your gaze follows him as he jumps onto the couch, Tessa by his side.
“Oh don’t mind him.” You turn your head to see Nikki, her hands brushing against her pants. “He’s always been impatient when it comes to presents.” She walks over and gives you a hug. “Merry Christmas, dear.”
“Merry Christmas.” You reply gently, the ends of your lips tugging upward at her generosity. “I’m sorry for sleeping in so late. I really didn’t know everyone was waiting for me.”
She waves her hands away, huffing out a breath, “Don’t you worry about it. I’m just glad you’re here.” Nicola was really something else. You were super nervous the first time Tom introduced you to his parents, your insecurities getting the best of you: ‘what if they don’t like me, maybe they’ll think I’m not good enough for him, should I even be doing this?’ But Tom assured you many times that his parents were not ones to judge and that you’d get along well with his mom. And he wasn’t wrong. Nikki made you feel so comfortable the moment you met her. “Tom said you didn’t sleep well. I hope you’re feeling better. Mind grabbing the boys for presents?” She gives you a warm smile before walking into the next room, retrieving her husband.
You are suddenly left alone in the kitchen, the sound of brotherly banter heard from outside. You slowly make your way through the kitchen to the sliding glass door leading to the backyard.
(Oh my goodness. These boys.) As you lean against the door, glancing outside, you see none other than Tom chatting with the twins. Outside. In the winter.
“I can do it!”
“Not as well as I can.”
They had the large blue mat laid out in the backyard, bickering on who could do the most flips. You quietly open the glass slider, stepping outside. The fresh winter air bites your nose, your arms instinctively crossing over themselves to keep the bit of warmth left in you. (Thank goodness I grabbed his jumper.)
Harry shoved Sam onto the mat, laughing at his brother’s own ignorance; no one can beat Tom. “Let’s go, Sam. You got this, I think?”
Sam really did his best to do at least a double flip, but he ended up falling straight onto his face. Tom and Harry were the first to burst into laughs while you had to cover your mouth with your sleeve-covered hand to mask your giggles.
“That’s the best you can do, dickhead?” Tom teased out.
“You do it then,” Harry called out to him, giving him a rough push towards the mat. “Mr. bloody Spiderman.” Sam jumped down off the mat, ruffling his own hair.
(Ooh. He really shouldn’t have said that.)
Right on cue, Tom gave him the brightest grin, winking once at his brother. “You really shouldn’t have said that.” He laughs, setting himself in front of the mat.
You smile to yourself at how well you know your boyfriend. Biting your lip you wait and watch Tom, expecting him to wow his brothers, per usual.
Tom stands tall as he preps himself in front of the mat, clearly concentrating on accomplishing this unspoken bet between his younger brothers. He took a deep breath, taking a running start before doing a cartwheel into a full twisted layout.
He smirks as he spots his landing, raising his eyebrows at his brother. “Spiderman just owned your ass.” He chuckles as Sam rolls his eyes, Harry just laughing wildly beside him. Tom finally sees you standing in the doorway as he steps off the mat and wraps both his arm around the pouting Sam. “Hey, darlin’.” He grins at you, his eyes shining as he takes notice in your sweater of choice.
You smile, taking a deep breath of the morning air. “Hi,” you breathe out; you couldn’t deny how good he looked with his hair all tousled after his flips. Your teeth scale over your bottom lip before you speak quietly, “Your mum wants you all inside. I think we’re starting presents.” The twins automatically race into the house, giving each other playful pushes as they pass you. You hear one of them mutter, “I told you, you bloody idiot.” Their words bring a grin to your face and you lift your head up to see your boyfriend, smiling down at you. “Hi.” You breathe out again.
He laughs, his smile widening even further, “Hi.” He stares down at you for a couple seconds before leaning down and pressing a chaste kiss on your lips. He pulls away, licking his lips, “I forgot to tell you Merry Christmas earlier.”
“Merry Christmas to you too Tom.” You whisper back, taking a bit longer to compose yourself after the simple kiss. You place your hands on his chest, gripping lightly at the large black hoodie, “We should probably go inside now.”
He nods, placing a kiss on the top of your head. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, leading you both inside. “You look good in my jumper.” He mumbles out, choosing not to comment on the blush that rose to your cheeks. You let him close the glass slider behind you before the pair of you enter the den.
Tom’s family really went all out on the Christmas decorations. From the kitchen to the den, holiday-themed decorations were arranged everywhere, the tree, of course, being the most magical.
Seeing as there are no more seats on the couch, you and Tom settle on the floor next to Paddy and Tessa, Tom placing himself next to Tessa. “Alright Paddy, go!” Tom shouts, allowing the young boy to finally open his first present.
Not a second later, Paddy is ripping off the beautiful Christmas paper. His cheeks are painted red as he eagerly glances down at what his parents got him. Suddenly, he’s grabbing hold of his new present, jumping up and down with excitement.
Everyone took turns opening presents, including yourself. Turns out your parents arranged to have your presents from your family shipped to Tom’s parent’s house, allowing you open them on this Christmas morning. “Oh wow, this is beautiful.” You gush as you pull out a beautiful navy dress, gifted by your grandmother. “For when Tom takes you to one of his many events on the red carpet,” You read the note inside the box, “Or when Tom simply wants to..” You stop and put the card down, biting your lip. “What a great present. Thank you, Grandma.”
Tom grabs the card from you, his eyes scanning over the card to finish the unspoken part of the note. He laughs and looks back to you with a wicked smile. He winks at you once while you roll your eyes. “Alright, Tom. Your turn.” You reach over for your neatly wrapped present for him, “Merry Christmas.”
He places the card down by his side, definitely wanting to keep it to joke with later on and gently grabs the present from you. As he unwraps it slowly, you can’t help but pray that he’ll like what you got him.
Shopping for Tom was always difficult. You were no celebrity, no one really successful; you were just a normal girl living the everyday life, so you didn’t exactly have the kind of money to get him something super spectacular. If you were being honest, anything you could get him, he could definitely afford to get himself. Not to mention, you just weren’t great with gift giving either. This was the reason behind your ground rule of ‘No over the top, expensive presents.’ Tom, of course, hated this rule, always wanting to spoil you with surprises. But this rule kept things balanced between you two, never having to feel like either of you (mostly you) were pressured to reciprocate.
“Ah, a new pair of sneakers,” he pulls the rest of the wrapping paper off, opening the box and looking inside. “Oh, babe, these are great!” He gushed over the shoes, picking them up to show the rest of the family. It wasn’t like you got him some cheap brand of athletic shoes, but they definitely weren’t anything for him to fawn over.
“I know you’ve been wanting new ones since yours are getting a bit scuffed up, so yeah. Plus I’ve heard they are really comfy.” You shrug your shoulders, knowing it wasn’t anything too amazing. “I hope you like them.” He looks at you with a smile, leaning over and pressing a kiss to your cheeks. And that’s all you needed to understand how he felt. (It’s the thought that counts.)
“Okay!” Nikki shouted from the couch, almost making you jump from the spot on the floor. She quickly stands up and walks to the Christmas tree, pulling out a hidden card that was somewhere on the tree. (Where in the world..?). “Y/N, Tom; this is for you.” She hands you the white envelope with the pair of your names on it.
Seeing both your name and Tom’s written together, side by side to represent a pair melted your heart a little. You loved this boy more than life itself and whether or not you would admit it to yourself, this was the one you wanted. You wanted Tom to be it for you, the one you’d settle down for, the one who would raise your children, the one who wouldn’t only be a chapter in your book, but part of the title. It’s what you wanted, but you weren’t sure if wanting it was enough to make it happen anymore.
You take the envelope from her, holding it off to Tom to open. “You go ahead and open it,” he replied, pushing the wrapped card back to you.
“But it’s from your mum, I think you should open it,” you whisper back to him. In your mind, it made sense to have Tom open a gift from his mother, even if it was for both of you.
He shakes his head at you, biting back a grin, “I already know what it is, darlin’.” With confusion laced on your face, you take hold of the card in your hands. You slowly peel apart the wrapped letter. Pulling out the card, you read the note inside, “Y/N, we remember the first time Tom finally spoke up about you. We all knew something in his heart had changed, something in his life sparked a new feature of Tom we didn’t even know existed. Tom, we can see in your eyes that Y/N is the love of your life and we wish that this deep affection between you two is everlasting. We hope you enjoy each other’s company on this journey, Merry Christmas.” You heart warmed at Nikki’s words, “Love, Mom, Dad, Harry, Sam, Paddy & Tessa.”
You look up to see all of them staring at you expectantly while you gently bite your lip. (They are honestly scaring me right now.) You fold apart the paper that was placed inside the card. Before you can even gasp, your hand coming to rest against your mouth, Nikki is speaking quickly, “It’s a trip! For you and Tom, to go to—”
“Paris, Rome, Sydney, Beijing…” You finish, speaking out incredulously. “Is this re—. Are you serious?” She simply nods her head with a radiant smile. You truly didn’t know what to say at this moment. A whole trip. For you and Tom. You looked at Tom abruptly, giving him almost a knowing glare. He throws his hands up with an innocent laugh, pointing to his parents. This was his ‘I had nothing to do with this. This was all them’ response. “Guys.” You look between all of them, swallowing the large lump you had in your throat, “This is just really...Thank you.” Tears of graciousness start to well in your eyes while you feel like your heart was beating out of your chest; you couldn’t even begin to imagine how much this costs, you were already bringing in the guilt of receiving such an expensive present.
You give each and every one of Tom’s family members a warm hug, trying to keep yourself from sputtering out how truly generous this gift was to you. Coming full circle to Tom, you grin so big you know it’s going to hurt you later on. But right now, you didn’t have any care in the world. You jump in his lap, your legs wrapping around his middle to hold him tight. A whole two weeks on a romantic trip around the world, with your boyfriend. Alone. The thought made more tears surge to your eyes as you tuck your head into his neck.
He simply laughs at your overwhelmingly positive response, rubbing your back for comfort. After a few moments of you just sitting in his lap, the smile never leaving his face, you calmed yourself down and he spoke to you “Darlin’, we’re not done yet.” He mutters, pulling you away from him. He presses his hands to your face, moving away the hair that stuck to your cheeks. “You have one more.” He whispers just enough for you to hear.
You nod your head, wiping the tears from your face and hopping off his lap. (Well, I probably look hideous right now.) As you continue to calm yourself, Tom hunts for your present under the tree and comes back, handing you a small white box with an aqua blue bow on it. Biting your lip, you look at him skeptically. You’re almost worried that he decided to go well and beyond with a present this year as well.
It’s almost like he reads your mind, responding quickly, “Don’t worry. Not nearly as expensive.” He brings his knees towards his chest, wrapping his arms around them. He nods to you to continue with your gift, his own cheeks turning a bit pink.
There was no wrapping paper, allowing you to simply pull the top of the box off to reveal the beautiful gold bracelet beneath it. You carefully pull it out, admiring the shining beauty. “Oh, Tom.” Yet again, you were taken away. You believed him when he said it wasn’t expensive, but I mean, I got him fucking shoes. “A charm bracelet?” You look back down to the bangle, turning over the heart charm that was attached. It read:
Y/N, I’ll love you forever and always darling. -Tom
“Yeah,” he mutters, biting his lip as he watches you take it all in. “Thought you could find some really cool charms on our trip.” He looks down nervously at his hands, rubbing them together.
“Tom,” you repeat again, shaking your head in disbelief. He looked up at you, biting his lip to suppress a nervous smile. For about the tenth time this morning, you were lost for words. Which led you to the decision of not using words to express how you felt, but by leaning over him and giving him a sweet kiss on the lips. You both wanted the kiss to last a bit longer, but PDA was never something either of you liked, especially in front of his family. “I love it. And I love you,” you whisper, now being the one to rub his hair back from his eyes. “..so much.”
“And you guys,” you continue, looking back at the rest of his family, hoping one day you can call them yours. “I love all of you and I really can’t thank you enough.” They were all smiling back at you. You relished in this feeling, Tom by your side, his family supporting the both of you. (I couldn’t have asked for anything better.)
It seemed as if everyone was starting to wrap up the morning, Tom deciding to finally give Tessa her present. After collecting all the trash and helping clean up the living room, you make your way into the kitchen. A smile wouldn’t leave your face. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shake the idea that you’d finally get to spend quality time with your boyfriend after him being gone and distant for so long. Taking one last glance at your boyfriend, him turning to you with a smile, you get yourself some well-deserved coffee.
The rest of the day was pretty relaxed, you and Tom chilling out on the couch watching the Christmas movies that were being played on TV. Lucky for Tom, one of his favorite movies ‘Just Friends’ was playing. “What do you think would happen if one of us friend zoned the other?” He asks out of nowhere, his teeth chewing on his lip. “Like, what do you think would have happened if you and I didn’t...kiss that one night?” He’s looking down at you now, actually expecting an answer.
You definitely remember your and Tom’s first kiss, but you couldn’t remember what your life was like before Tom. You just couldn’t picture your life now without him. “I truly don’t know. We’d just be friends, maybe?” You laugh with a shake of your head, “My mind doesn’t want to think of a future without you in it if I’m being quite honest.” You couldn’t tell if that was the answer he was hoping for, but he simply shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.
Later in the evening, the Holland threw a bit of an ‘After Christmas Party,’ including many of Tom’s family and close friends, all you’ve met before. They all greeted both you and Tom at their arrival, each adding a small remark about how lovely you pair were together. Each thoughtful compliment brought a grin to both of you and made your heart yearn more and more for the boy next to you.
“Paddy, get your arse back in the house!” Dominic shouts from the kitchen. You all turn your head to Tom’s dad who seemed to be cursing the young one for being outside at this time.
“I’m gonna grab something to drink, you want anything?” You announced to Tom before getting up and walking to the kitchen. You go to the fridge, pulling out two beers for your boyfriend and Harrison. “To be fair, Tom was playing outside with the boys earlier.”
Dominic turns to you with a nod, “I’ll keep that in mind.” He chuckles, before closing the slider and locking it. “So, Y/N.” He looks to you, clasping his hands together. “How are you?” He leans his body on the counter across from you.
“I’m doing pretty well,” you nod, taking a sip of your own drink. “I’m so thankful to be here for the holidays. I really miss you all and Tom.”
“So Tom is treating you well then?” He raises his eyebrows. This wasn’t an unusual conversation. Dominic frequently made sure Tom was treating you with respect and each time, it made your heart swell.
You look over to Tom, sitting and laughing with his friends on the couch, his laughter filling you with joy. “Always.” You turn back to Dominic, “He’s without a doubt, the most kind and honest man I have ever met.” Just thinking back to all the times Tom really proved to you that he was true, and not the ‘superstar punk’ everyone thought him out to be, made you smile. “I love him more than anything in this world. I just really miss him when he’s away.”
“Yeah, I bet. We all do.” He sighs, rubbing his hands through his hair. You bit back a smile, recognizing the same movements in Tom. “But we’re all so proud of him and it makes him coming back home more special.” His words definitely struck you there. Tom would come back to see you whenever he could, even if it was just for the weekend. He would come back and the two of you would be inseparable, basking in the time you had.
You thought about your dream and thoughts of this morning, it never truly leaving your conscious, and chuckled to yourself. “Thanks, Dominic.” You smile, walking back to living room. He gave you a nod in response; whether or not he knew what was going through your mind, he tamed all of your insecurities on your relationship.
“Don’t you dare!” You warn Tom, his eyebrows raised towards you. With his eyes twinkling, he slowly brings the shot glass to his lips and takes it back with a sigh. “You dick!” You laugh, lightly punching him in the arm. Of course, that made no dent to him, he hardly even shifted.
“I’m sorry, darlin’, but trust me, you really don’t wanna know.” His grins as he looks back to Harrison, who’s about to fall off his chair from laughing so hard. After the majority of the party guests left, you, Tom, and the remaining of your friends all decided to play your own drinking game.
“You know, you’ll have to tell me about it eventually.” You say matter-of-factly, leaning your body towards him.
He sees this as a challenge and leans back, his chest pressing against yours. “Oh, I will, will I?” He teases back, his nose coming to rub against yours.
You hum in defeat, leaning back in your chair. (I’ll get what I want eventually.) He just laughs, resting back in the dining room chair, his arm resting on the back of yours. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he answers the incoming FaceTime call. “Hey, Zendaya! I’m here with Y/N and Harrison, say Hi.”
You turn your head to see Zendaya, as beautiful as ever, displayed on Tom’s phone, waving back at you guys. “Hey, Z! How are you?” You smile politely, gently waving back at her as you rested your head on Tom’s shoulder.
“Oh Y/N! I want to talk to you!” She shouts excitedly from her end of the phone call. You gently take the phone from Tom, getting up to leave the table.
“Oh, so you just called for Y/N. I see how it is Z!” Tom playfully scowls. You roll your eyes at your boyfriend, a smile playing on your lips.
Leaving the dining room, you make your way up the stairs towards the room. “Hey, so what’s up? How was your Christmas?”
“It was awesome. Played with the little guys,” she moved the screen to show the mess of toys around her family’s living room. “It was a bit of show, but they’re taking naps now.” She laughs, moving the hair from out of her face. “But how are you? Did you like Tom’s present?”
You close the door of the bedroom, now sitting on the bed, “Yeah! It’s so pretty!” You move the screen down to show her the bracelet that was resting perfectly on your wrist. You played with the charm containing the inscription, smiling to yourself.
“Not that one, the vacation!” She smiles, “though that is really nice.”
“Oh. You mean Tom’s parents?” You ask a bit confused.
“Is that what he told you?” She raises her brow a bit. There’s some shuffling from the other side of the call, sounding as if she’s moving around. “No matter what he says, that was all Tom.” She shakes her head, the sound of a door closing heard through the speaker. “That boy went through so much to work that out.”
Your mouth drops a bit, more confusion laced on your face than ever. Before you say a word, she speaks quickly. “He’s been working that out for weeks. He kept complaining to the directors about how he wanted to bring you on set, just to visit him for at least a couple days every few weeks.” She lays down on her bed, holding the phone above her, “but they wouldn’t let him. You know him, the poor guy lets everything slip.”
“Wait, hold on.” You hold your hand up, shaking your head. “Tom planned a trip. A trip around the whole freakin’ world. Because he wanted to see me?” You were just trying to understand the gist without asking the source himself.
“Pretty much,” she nods along. “He had to schedule time off with the directors and everything. He really misses you.” She finishes, silence now filling the air.
You don’t know whether to laugh or cry. “Wow, I really don’t know what to say. I hate that he went through so much trouble for me.” You bite your lip, suppressing a smile that is trying to emerge.
“Oh god, Y/N. That boy would do anything for you. Anything.” You knew she meant it and you believed her; Tom has told you that himself. “Oh. Shoo—Y/N, I have to go. The beasts have awoken.” She laughs, more shuffling heard as she moves off her bed. “Talk to you later, babe. B—.” The call ends before you have a chance to speak through.
You were just so speechless. (When aren’t I, to be honest?) You lay the phone on the bed beside you, bringing your hands back to your lap. You couldn’t believe that Tom would go through as much trouble as he did just to get time off to see you, not to mention plan it without telling you. All the dropped FaceTime calls, delayed text messages, missed calls; he wasn’t pushing away from you, just truly busy. While you were missing him, he was missing you. And here you thought it was only one-way.
Suddenly, you were crying. You couldn’t explain why, but the tears didn’t stop. You just couldn’t stop thinking about how much you loved him and how, through everything, this man was your everything. You couldn’t picture happiness without him included. “Fuck—” You whispered to yourself with a small laugh, sniffling at your overwhelmed emotions.
Two knocks at the door brought you out of your daze, Tom’s head peeking through. “Babe?” The second he sees your tear-stained face, he’s rushing over to kneel before you. “Y/N, shit.” He moved the hair out of your face, “What happened?” His concerned eyes made a couple more tears fall down your cheeks while you let out a shaky breath.
“These are..happy tears, Tom.” You choke out with a quiet chuckle, looking into his soft brown eyes. He lets out a relieved sigh, still looking back at you questionably. “I’m just...so...overjoyed. I mean, I feel like I don’t deserve this.” He takes your hand in his, letting you talk out your emotions. “But I am so in love with you. And your family. Seeing your brothers,” you sniff, smiling as you shake your head, “those boys make my day more than you know.” You’re full on laughing now, thinking back to this morning. “And your parents...And you.” Looking back at Tom’s face, all your worries were gone, any and everything you ever wanted to be was written in the color of his eyes, the flow of his hair, the curve of his lips. (He is everything.)
“I..I want to marry you, Tom.” You whisper quietly, almost afraid you didn’t say it at all. “I don’t want to lose you, or your family, or Tessa. Ever.” Your heart was beating fast in your chest, finally aware that you were getting things off your chest. “I want to know that every time you go away..to film, on a press tour...that you’ll be coming right back. To me.”
As he stares at you, almost speechless, you realize the severity of the words you said. You both would constantly say I hope this relationship would last forever and I want you in my life forever, but there was never a clear ‘I want a marriage with you’ conversation. “I just wanted you to know,” you whisper. You didn’t regret what you said, everything ringing very true in your heart.
“Y/N,” he whispers, causing your eyes to lift to meet his. “I...I love you more than anything in this world. You know that.” He nervously chuckles to himself, licking his lips. “But I don’t...I want...I wish for you to want to marry me because you actually want to be with me forever. Not because you’re scared you’re gonna lose me.” He’s looking at you seriously, “Darlin’, I’m not going anywhere.”
You vaguely remember him saying that in your dream and smile to yourself, shaking your head. “Tom, whether you know this or not, I have our kid’s names picked out.” That brought a real laugh out of him, causing you to grin. “I want to buy a house with you and carve our names into it. I want to wake up to your messy hair, “ you gently ruffle his hair, “and drool running down your chin. I want—”
“To argue with you all the time, constantly having to remind myself that you’re always right.” He continues for you. “I want your annoying arse to keep me in check when I think I’m the shit. And I want to build a life with you.” He leans forward and kisses you passionately, his hand coming to rub your cheek. Your lips melt around his, his pace slow and loving. He pulls away to whisper against your lips, “Y/N, I want a marriage with you.”
You pull his face to yours, your lips reattaching and lean back on the bed. Tom follows, hovering above you. Wrapping your legs around his waist, you tug him down so his body rests on top of yours. Somehow your body just fit together in a way you wouldn’t have even thought to notice. The moment you felt the warmth of his body on top of yours, you moaned quietly, tugging gently at the ends of his hair. Pulling away, he smirks down at you, “So, do you wanna…?” He wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively.
You giggle, shaking your head. “What about your parents and everyone downstairs?”
“They won’t hear us from up here, trust me.” He presses a few kisses on your collarbone, leading up to your neck. “Besides, most of them left when you came up here.” Biting your lip, you nod with a sigh at the feeling of his lips against your skin. “Should I go and get your grandmother’s dress then?”
You both laugh out loud, nudging him in the chest at his joke. (This boy. My boy.) You grab him by the shirt, pulling him towards you. You close your eyes as he kisses you, falling in the bliss of his touch.
In the dead of the night, Tom wakes up from the overwhelming amount of heat radiating from his body. “Fuck.” He whispers, pushing off the large comforter that rested on top of him. He feels a small tug on his abdomen, the sound of a soft whine protesting from beside him. Looking over, he sees Y/N, sound asleep with her face dug into the pillow. With her arm wrapped around his center, her bare chest hardly covered by the blanket, and her hair a disheveled nest, to him, she looked absolutely, breathtakingly beautiful. He carefully, removed her arm from around him, whispering out an apology when she whined and rolled over. He smiled to himself, taking one last glance at her before lifting himself from the bed. He grabs his black shirt off the floor and quietly leaves the room. He makes his way downstairs, grabbing a glass from the kitchen and getting himself some water.
“Can’t sleep?” A voice behind him calls, startling Tom in his spot.
“Dickhead!” He yells in a whisper, turning around to see his dad sitting at the dining room table, tea in his hand. “Dad, seriously?”
“What’s wrong, Superstar?” He laughs, his voice low.
Tom rolls his eyes, deciding to make himself some tea as well. “Why are you awake at this time?” Tom asks, adding some sugar to his cup.
“Couldn’t sleep. And yourself?” He takes a sip of his tea as Tom joins him at the table.
“Y/N. I’m so glad she’s finally getting some sleep, but man does she like a lot of blankets.” He laughs, taking a quick sip of his drink. “Thanks again for the trip and everything. She’s so excited about it.”
“I’m glad she liked your gift, Tom.” He chuckles, looking at his son. With a few moments of silence, he speaks up again, “Are you nervous?”
Tom looks up at his father, swallowing down the contents in his mouth and shakes his head. “I definitely was,” he bites his lip. He thinks back to the conversation the pair of you had some hours ago and grins wide. “Not anymore.”
His smile mimics his son’s, glad he has finally found someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with. “Do you think she suspects anything?”
“She might.” He hums, silently laughing to himself. “But I don’t really care at this point. I just can’t wait to start my life with her.”
“I’m so happy for you, Tom. Y/N is really something.” Dominic puts a hand on his shoulder in support.
“Yeah,” he whispers, looking down at his hands, the thought of your sleeping form in his mind. “She really is.”
AUTHOR’S NOTE: I AM SO SORRY FOR THE LONG POST ON YOUR DASH. THE BREAK WON’T WORK ON MOBILE.
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