#we tried to channel toni i hope it came through

[makiitoh]

r/Relationships

My girlfriend still thinks we're in a throuple with my ex

I (28 F) had been going steady with my now-ex (26 F) since November 2023. She started as a fan of mine (I’m an actress) before we got together. She was always really sweet and supportive of my work. In April her ex (36 F) started flying in from Japan just to show up at the office with champagne, trying to purloin her from me. Naturally I was livid and challenged my now-ex's then-ex to a duel, in which I was of course victorious. However, following this duel my ex insisted we have a threesome as a form of mediation. This went swimmingly. Unfortunately, my two beautiful girlfriends and I were able to enjoy only two short months of bliss together before my original girlfriend attempted to murder me on live television and abscond with my identity. My second girlfriend and I are still dating, though she hasn’t yet informed my ex of this fact and is still seeing her as well. How can I kill my ex without upsetting my new girlfriend?

[dominickeating-source]

SYFY Portal - Keating to try directing? by Michael Hinman (2002)

"It's been a long road" might be the opening line to the "Enterprise" theme, but it also could be applied to actor Dominic Keating. From his television bow as Tony in the British comedy series "Desmond's" in the late 1980s, to an unsuccessful attempt at a guest role for "Star Trek: Voyager," and finally as Lt. Malcolm Reed on the latest Star Trek series airing on UPN, Keating has traveled the road that many actors have tried to traverse.

And now that he is attached to one of the most successful franchises in television history, Keating said that now's the time to really achieve some of his dreams, including some that went unrealized until his arrival on the "Enterprise" set.

"'Desmonds' was a half-hour show on Channel Four, and we enjoyed big success," of a TV star in some capacity, but when I came to America [in 1994], I spent a bit of time out in the cold. About two and a half years ago, a bit of momentum started to show through, doing some guest stars and getting regular work, and I could consider myself a working actor again."

Keating said his first run-in with Star Trek wasn't the kind most actors hope for. Two years ago, he was auditioning for a guest role on "Voyager," an audition that may not have given him a chance to work with Kate Mulgrew in company, but one that had future implications.

"The audition went real well, and I thought I was going to get the part," Keating said. "When I didn't get a call back, I was thinking that I'll never audition for them again. I don't like to put words in [co-creator] Rick Berman's mouth, but after he had seen me audition, I think they sort of earmarked me in some capacity. They brought me in for the first audition [for 'Enterprise'], and they went pretty swimmingly. I was the first one cast."

Through the first 10 episodes, Lt. Reed was more of a background character as Enterprise's weapons officer. But Keating said he has no qualms about the focus on Scott Bakula (Capt. Jonathan Archer), Jolene Blalock (Sub-Cmdr. T'Pol) and Connor Trinneer (Cmdr. Trip Tucker), especially since some of the first season's finer moments are expected to come by way of Reed.

"It's really started in the last few episodes, Malcolm Reed has had the light shone on him," Keating said. "Brannon [Braga] did warn me about it that their initial thrust at the start of the series would be on the captain, Trip and the Vulcan. I just turned up every day and did the best I could with what they gave me to do, and trusted with what they told me was true."

And Braga has stayed true to his word, because Keating said he has heard quite a bit of talk about one episode that will air on UPN Feb. 13.

"There's an episode coming up called 'Shuttlepod One,' and it's one of my most exciting and most memorable acting experiences, whether on stage or on the camera," he said. "What a fantastic piece of work we turned.

"It's between me and Trip, the engineer. We think we're marooned alone in space on Shuttlepod One. You could put this on in an off-Broadway venue and have it staged as a one-act. Rick is very pleased, and he just said some very complimentary things about it yesterday. I know that for the directors that work on the show, if you don't get a phone call from Rick, you've done real well."

Not getting that phone call from Berman is something Keating hopes happen if he ever makes his directorial debut on the show. Like Jonathan Frakes, LeVar Burton, Rene Auberjonois and Robert Duncan McNeill -- among others -- Keating said he is hoping to one day have a shot sitting in the big chair for an episode.

"I've already embarked on a directing course at an L.A. film school that Roxann Dawson (Lt. B'Elanna Torres, 'Voyager') had given me the number for," he said. "After I took the course in directing, I've noticed that my interest piqued more than ever in how each shot is being mapped out. I never had taken that much of an interest before as an actor, which usually was to just put me on the mark, tell me which way to turn, and I'll act it.

"But I've noticed that in the episodes that rolled by, my interest is a lot keener, and I can see myself definitely directing one of these episodes, and direct other stuff in the future. Of course, I haven't approached Rick or Brannon about this yet. They hired me as an actor, and I'm putting my two peas [ed: "2 p" (pence)] in at the moment."

The Paramount lot is bustling with Star Trek activity right now with not only a hit UPN series, but the tenth motion picture of the franchise as well. Having the cast of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" hanging around has been exciting for Keating, he said, especially in getting his chance to finally meet Patrick Stewart. And with a lot of talk focusing on "Star Trek: Nemesis," Keating said he hopes that his crew of the starship Enterprise might get their shot on the big screen some day.

"I would love to do [a movie]," he said. "I think they are filming 'Nemesis' around the corner from us. And by all accounts, this is the fourth movie for them, and this really might be it. I don't know, maybe Paramount might feel they have another one in them, so it's just a question on when they get us to do it. Will they wait for 'Voyager' to have a shot, or are they going to pass them by?

"If they did do a movie, would we all want to do that? Scott [Bakula] has a young family, and he's keen about spending as much time as possible with them. But it's probably a few years off yet, and maybe after seven years, if we did a movie once every 18 months or two years, that would be fantastic."

But in the here and now, "Enterprise" is just 10 episodes in with UPN beginning new episodes next Wednesday at 8 p.m. ET. Of course, that hasn't stopped some fans from recognizing Keating on the street.

"I was recognized in the post office this morning, and that's the first time a completely random guy has come up to me like that since the show started," he said. "I was posting some fan mail to some guys in Europe, and he came up and was so thrilled to see this guy from 'Enterprise.' I shook the guy's hand and introduced myself, and he introduced himself, I think his name was Jack.

"It was a good experience, but the funny thing was, I was standing in line wearing my scruffy old sweatpants and wasn't looking my best. I thought to myself that there was a pretty girl in front of me, and there will come a time when I wished I would've dolled myself up."

Keating pauses a moment, and laughs a little.

"My girlfriend is going to shout when she reads that. But we all carry a little vanity with us, and the time will eventually come when I can't leave the house a complete mess. But you know, who cares, maybe I can. It's certainly only a TV show, and it's not like we're saving the world . . ."

Jumping into character for just a moment: "Oh wait, captain. We are!"

Source: www.dominickeating.com

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Taste of Revenge (2)

Warnings: canon typical violence, mentions of non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, descriptions of drowning, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, cursing, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), spoilers for Hannibal, references to Leverage, past Frederick Chilton/Rafael Barba, NSFW moments and angst.

Chapter 2

The enormity of what you had done struck you when you closed your front door behind you and stared blankly at your dining room.  Weeks ago, you had returned from an undercover mission and sat here with your team, eating food, and chatting happily with no inkling of what was going to unfold.  Now the space seemed far too empty and the irrational feeling of isolation was creeping through your body.

“There is no reason that I should be feeling isolated.  My team are a phone call away and while we are loyal to each other, if they disagreed with my choice to resign, they would have remained sitting in the conference room.  None of us are blinded by our loyalty to each other.  I wasn’t the only member of the NCIS team that was impacted by Sterling and Chilton’s actions.”

Feeling slightly better, you cast your gaze around the house and wondered what you could do with your newfound freedom.  Just as you were trying to decide between baking a Dutch apple cake or baking a Boterkoek or collapsing on your lounge and channel surfing, your phone vibrated and began to ring.

You fished your phone out of your pocket and examined the display.  The number on your screen was unfamiliar.  Your thumb hovered over the reject call button but then you noticed that the call was coming from Manhattan and hoping that it was someone from the SVU squad, you took a chance and pressed the accept call button.

“How is my favourite NCIS agent?” You were startled when the voice of Sonny Carisi sounded from the speaker of your phone.

“It’s good to hear your voice, Sonny.”  You sighed, making your way over to your couch and kicking off your shoes before sitting on one of the cushions with a content exhale. 

“You don’t sound particularly happy to hear my voice.  Did you have a rough day?  Am I interrupting?”

You shook your head and then remembered that he couldn’t see you, “Something like that.  Interpol came sniffing around because I forwarded the information about our joint case to them and not only did Jim Sterling’s team turn up at our base but Sterling decided in his infinite wisdom to source a specialist from Baltimore, Doctor Frederick Chilton, and he recommended that my team be demoted to probationary agents.  Ziva observed that we would regain our status as full NCIS agents quickly if we cooperated with Sterling’s team.  In the sense that we followed their orders and their lead while they conducted an investigation in D.C.”

There was a loud crash as if a heavy object had been knocked off a surface and onto the hard floor.  “I hope you told Sterling what he could do with his offer.”  Sonny stated bitingly. 

“I did and it wasn’t just me.  My whole team resigned and then Sterling tried to detain us for ‘obstructing his investigation.’”

“Tried to detain you?” Sonny echoed indignantly.  His accent grew thicker as he spoke.

“It didn’t work.”  You reassured him, “I pointed out several flaws in his argument and he had no choice but to let us leave the base.  Tony locked him, his agents and Chilton in the room and pocketed the key to the room.”

Sonny barked out a laugh, “I shouldn’t enjoy that as much as I do.”

“Don’t worry too much about it.  You’re not the only one who found it amusing.  Tim locked down the network and Abby took her machines offline.  Since Ducky and Palmer quit too, Sterling has no ME team.”

“Remind me to never make any members of your team angry.”

You hummed, “I have no doubt that your team would be as efficient and brutal if they were placed in the same situation.”

“On that note, is it alright if I put you on speaker so you can fill the squad in?”

“Sure.  Forewarned is forearmed.”

“Exactly my thoughts.”

There was a quiet thud and then Sonny’s voice rang out, calling Fin, Oliva, Amanda, and someone called Kat over to his desk.  A click sounded on the line and then you heard Sonny’s voice again, “You’re on speaker (Name).”

“Thanks Sonny.  How are you all?  How’s Manhattan?”

“We’ve just finished a case.”  Olivia replied and you could hear the exhaustion in her voice.  Underneath that though, there was relief at hearing your voice and a longing to be somewhere else.  Having been through some challenging cases of your own, you resolved to sum up the day’s events as quickly as possible so the squad could leave and have some rest.

“Hi, I’m Kat!  You can’t see me but I’m waving at the phone.”  You liked her enthusiasm immediately; she reminded you a little of Abby and how Bishop had acted when she was first introduced to the team.

“It’s nice to meet you Kat.  Although I wish I had better news to share with you all.”

You repeated what you had told Sonny and you were very grateful that the SVU squad didn’t interrupt you as you were talking.  Perhaps they understood that you weren’t particularly keen on repeating yourself again since you had explained this all to Sonny.  Or maybe they had been in similar or worse situations before and knew that it was better to get the information out as quickly as possible.

“That’s the downside to this job.”  Fin said sagely when it was clear that you had finished your recount.  “Too many people who think they know more about the job than we do.  Politicians tend to be the most vocal about our shortcomings when they think that it’ll benefit them.”

“I wish I could disagree with you.” Kat spoke.  “This Doctor Chilton seems to be just as bad as Sterling.  I wonder how well they would’ve done if they were tasked with solving the joint case.  Maybe we should look into creating a simulator that we direct them into if another situation like this arises.”

“I would pay to see that, Kat.”  You replied before bracing yourself to reveal a piece of information that you had forgotten to tell Sonny when you were summing up the day’s events.  “There’s one other thing.  I’m pretty sure Sterling did it on purpose.  Knowing him, I wouldn’t be too surprised but I thought there was a shred of human decency in him.  I guess I was wrong.”

“Why are you stalling?”  Olivia asked softly.

You closed your eyes, “Doctor Chilton looks uncannily similar to Barba.  He sounds like him and they have similar mannerisms.  The only differences are that the doctor has a beard, walks with a cane and dresses differently.”

There was complete silence on the other side of the phone.  The silence stretched on for so long that you began to wonder if there was anyone on the other side of the phone.

“There’s absolutely no way that was an accident!”  Amanda exploded, “Especially since you forwarded all the information to Interpol.  My heart goes out to y’all over there.  This Sterling sounds more annoying than a box full of mosquitos at a fifth Sunday potluck!”

While you were unfamiliar with the last bit of vocabulary that Amanda used, you could decipher the tone behind her words and you laughed bitterly.

“Sterling isn’t someone I would choose to work with.  We’ve dealt with him and his team in the past and we nearly had a bad situation become much worse because of his and his team’s egos.”

“Thank you for the warning.  We’ll keep our eyes open.” 

“I hope we’ve taken enough wind out of his sails and he doesn’t bother your squad, Olivia.  Take care.” 

“You too.”

The line disconnected and you stared at your phone for a few minutes before putting it down on the table next to the couch and laying down on the lounge.  It became increasingly hard to keep your eyes open and eventually your eyes drifted closed.

“I’m just going to close my eyes for a few hours.”  You promised yourself before you fell asleep.

On the other side of the door of a particularly dingy motel room on the I495, just out of Washington D.C., Rafael Barba mulled over the information that he had overheard on the phone call between you, Sonny and the SVU squad.  It had been a costly favour to install the phone tap on the SVU phones for outgoing calls and lately, Rafael had been pondering the usefulness of his idea as he had overheard nothing of any real importance.

That was until today.

“Your boss is a persistent one I’ll give him that,” Rafael directed his words to the other occupant of the room.  The other person gave no response as the mafia boss directed his attention to him and stared back at the mafia boss with a blank expression.  On the inside, he was panicking.  He didn’t know how Barba had discovered that he was an ex-Interpol agent turned informant and had infiltrated Barba’s ranks.  What he did know was that the situation he was in was deteriorating rapidly and if he had any hope of surviving this, he had to think of something very quickly.

“I was more than content to keep my head down.”  Barba continued levelly, “I had several plans on how I could approach (Name) again and win back her trust.  But then, your boss forced my hand.”

“It wasn’t just him though!”  The ex-agent burst out, “You heard (Name) as clearly as I did!  She said twice that the other man, Doctor Chilton, is just as much to blame for her and her team resigning.”

“Frederick has a role to play.”  Barba stated dispassionately as he adjusted his gloves and reached into his coat pocket.  “He might have been able to predict how (Name) and her team would have acted but Sterling has worked with them in the past.  He knows that team and therefore, he would have known how they would react.  He didn’t care.”

With a quick move, Rafael withdrew a gun from his pocket and pressed it to the ex-agent’s head.  The other man’s eyes widened with terror as the mafia boss cocked the hammer.

“What’s that old saying?”  The former ADA questioned rhetorically.  The informant felt his heart thumping frantically against his ribcage with every beat as he realised that there was no possible way that he would be getting out of this alive.

“In for a penny, in for a pound.”

[acciotherapists]

Far From Home (Chapter 47: Nightmares and Reality)

Loki x Reader

Y/n Y/l/n never thought her past would come back to find her. After all who would look for her on Midgard? But one day in the small town of Puento Antiguo her world is turned upside down when an old friend turns up, threatening everything she has built and the people she’d fought so hard to protect. What happens when the life she left behind finally catches up with her? What happens when the old flame she thought had burned out reignites within her?

Warnings: language (sorry, Steve), eventual smut (slow burn), angst, some mentions of torture (most things won’t be detailed but anything that gets a bit more specific will be warned at the beginning of the chapter)

Yesterday

Bucky held an unconscious Y/n in his arms as he fought his way through the building, trying to reach the outside. As they had slowly tried to unthaw him he could hear Y/n’s voice as she ran through the base. He had fought off several guards to get to her but one of them sounded the alarm before he could stop them. Bucky looked down at Y/n, her skin slick with sweat as her heart raced erratically in her chest.

When he finally reached the outside of the base there were several more guards waiting for him. He carefully set Y/n down as he began to take them on, channeling the Winter Soldier, his anger fuelling every time Y/n stirred and groaned in pain. They had hurt her and he intended to kill every one of them.

As he knocked the last one unconscious, he heard Y/n stir once more and carefully picked her up before placing her in a nearby vehicle and speeding away. He had no idea where he was going but he knew he had to get far away from here.

By the time Bucky reached the outskirts of town Y/n was coughing up blood and his heart was racing.

“Hang on, doll,” he muttered, pressing his foot harder on the gas.

Bucky knew he couldn’t bring her to a hospital. His only hope was to get her far enough outside of town that they wouldn’t be caught and make contact with one of her friends.

When they finally reached an abandoned town Bucky began searching her pockets, muttering a soft apology as his cheeks turned pink.

Damn it! Her phone was locked.

“Doll,” Bucky began, gently trying to wake her. “I need your phone pin.”

She muttered a few numbers and he quickly typed them in, breathing a sigh of relief as her home screen came into view. Bucky quickly began searching her contacts, though most of them were letters or things only she would understand. Eventually he found a contact called Capsicle and chuckled to himself. That had to be Steve as it would be just like Y/n to save that name in her contact list after she learned he’d spent almost 70 years as a popsicle. He dialed the number, hoping he was right about the name and that Steve would be able to save her.

*** Present Time (A few days after the mission) ***

My eyes opened slowly as I cleared my throat, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable sensation left by the breathing tube that they had only removed a few hours earlier. Some of the team sat around my bed while others stood as the nurse began explaining the current state of my lungs and what had happened to them.

“It’s miraculous!” she exclaimed, holding the scans in front of me. “It appears you have no residual damage from the drug. Your lungs seem to have healed themselves.”

Loki let out a breath I didn’t realize he’d been holding, pressing his lips to my hand as he fought back tears. The nurse smiled, telling me I should be released in a few days, before leaving the room.

“Welcome back, kid!” Tony exclaimed, gently touching my shoulder.

“Welcome back, сестра (sister),” Nat said, smiling at me, before turning to the rest of the team. “We should probably give them some space,” she murmured softly, to which the team nodded and slowly made their way out of the room.

“I-is Bucky okay?” I asked, my voice coming out hoarse.

Loki nodded, squeezing my hand. “Stark thought it might not be a good idea for him to be here with Hydra looking for him. He’s at the tower waiting for us.”

I breathed a sigh of relief before opening my arms, scooching to the edge of the bed to make room for Loki. He smiled and climbed into the bed next to me, being careful not to tangle the IV line as he pressed himself close to me.

“I was so scared for you,” he murmured, pressing his lips against my hair.

“I’m sorry, baby… I just didn’t want him to be alone… I didn’t want him to go through that again.”

“I know, baby. It’s okay.”

“Please don’t hate me.”

“Oh, my love, no. I could never hate you. I’m not angry with you, my darling. My perfect, precious girl.” His hands gently moved up and down my arms, his touch soothing my anxiety and sending warmth running along my skin. I whimpered at his touch and he chuckled, moving his fingers under my chin. “Not to worry, my love. I will attend to your every need once you are healed. There will be no part of your body untouched by me.” 

“Loki,” I whined as his words sent arousal flooding to my core. “You can’t say things like that and then not touch me.”

“But I am touching you, my darling.”

“Lokiii!”

He chuckled in response, pressing his lips to my forehead. “Not to worry, darling. You’ll be out of here soon and you’ll have everything you need. I’ll make sure of it.”

****

I was running through a dark corridor, unsure of where I was going but knowing I had to keep moving. I could hear Bucky screaming in pain as I tried to get to him, my lungs burning as I ran. A man and woman stood at the end of the hall, the woman’s hand glowing red as she watched me carefully. I turned a corner, trying to get away from them. Loki stood at the end of the corridor, blocking my path. Tears were streaming down his face but his eyes were hardened, his face contorted with anger.

“You lied to me!” he hissed.

As I tried to reach him to explain, several hands grabbed me from behind, pulling me down. I screamed, thrashing around as voices surrounded me.

“Y/n, hey, wake up!” Tony.

“Give her space! Someone get Loki!” Nat.

Footsteps thundered around me as the dream slowly pulled me back in, Loki’s angry face staring back at me, laughing as Hydra pulled me away from him and toward the extraction machine.

Suddenly I felt a hand grasp mine and another hand on my face. “Shh… it’s okay, baby. I’m here.”

Hydra agents were surrounding me, pulling at my limbs as they strapped me to a chair.

“It’s not real, my love. Come back to me.”

I opened my eyes, taking in the room around me, as Loki’s face came into view.

“It’s not real,” he assured as I stared at him in horror.

I moved the blanket to the side, allowing him to climb into bed next to me. I sobbed against his chest as he held me.

“You’re safe, my love. It wasn’t real.”

His warmth surrounded me, pushing aside the memories of Loki in the dream.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here,” he murmured. “They insisted I eat something and I- I thought you were sleeping. I’m so sorry.”

I pulled away, looking up at him as I took his face in my hands. “No, Loki. This is not your fault. I need you to take care of yourself too. I’m okay, baby.”

He nodded, pressing his lips to my forehead as I snuggled against him once more, feeling safe and at home for the first time in a long time. If only that feeling could last.

*********

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A/N: I'm having difficulties tagging some of you. If you are not being notified and would like to be please check your settings.

[malia-lake-love]

Chapter Two of Love at super sonic speed.

Over the next few weeks I trained with a couple different people. I trained with the soldier who's name I recently came to find out is winter.

I also trained with Svetlana, who was helping me control my pryokinesis. I also trained with a few other guards, but they were to scared of me to actually fight me.

Today, I was training with Svetlana again because winter had to go on a mission. "Channel your energy, (Y/n)." Lana said. I closed my eyes and focused on the wood in-front of me.

"Take a deep breath." Lana said as she breathed in. I inhaled and slowly let it out I raised my hands in-front of me and felt my palms heat up. "Well done (Y/n)!" Lana praised ruffling my hair.

I opened my eyes and saw the wood on fire, I smiled. "Thanks Lana!" I giggled standing up and wrapping my arms around her waist. She wrapped her arms around me and we swayed a little.

An alarm started blaring, and Lana looked frightened. She grabbed my hand and we started running through the halls. We reached a door with a bunch of guards inside, Lana pushed me behind her so no-one could see me.

"Iron man has breached our defenses, I want none of our enhanced on the field." The lead guard boomed. A new hope filled my heart: my dads here, I get to go home now!

Lana quickly rushed me out of the room, "Lana, Lana, my daddy's here!" I said excitedly. "shh, be quiet (Y/N)." Lana said pulling me behind a wall, she covered my mouth with her hand.

"We have to get you to your dad (Y/N), and I will do everything I can to get you there." Lana said making eye-contact with me. I nodded, and smiled despite her not seeing it.

She slowly took her hand off my mouth and put it to her side. "you can come home with me to Lana!" I said happily.

Lana smiled softly and grabbed my hand, we quickly began running through the halls again.

A couple guards tried to interfere but either I took them down with my super strength, or Lana made them combust.

When we made it to the outside perimeter Lana and I crouched down behind a fallen wall and caught our breath.

I was looking up at the sky when I saw my dad flying overhead. "Lana my dad's right there!" I yelled to her over the gun-fire.

Lana quickly stood up and threw me over shoulder and started running after my dad. "What's your father's name?" Lana yelled to me. "Tony stark!" I yelled back.

"Stark!" Lana yelled, still running. "Tony Stark!" she yelled again throwing a fire ball towards him to get his attention. I craned my neck to look at him "DADDY!" I yelled he looked down and saw us chasing him.

He came to an abrupt halt in the air, he then turn upside down and flew towards us he landed on the ground a few feet in front of us, Lana put me down and I ran to my dad and jumped on him.

"Daddy" I whispered clinging to his suit. He wrapped his armored arms around me tightly. "Oh my god (Y/n) Your mother and I have been so worried." He said opening the face plate of his suit.

There he was, your father, in all his brown haired glory. "Daddy this is Svetlana were gonna take her home with us." I said gesturing towards her with my head.

"Yeah, yeah, okay." My dad said grinning at me. My dad slapped a bracelet on my wrist and pushed a button, a suit matching my dads formed around me encasing my body.

"Lana come on you can fly with my dad!" I said. Lana smiled at me and started walking towards us. In a flash she had crumpled to the ground bleeding from her chest.

"LANA!" I screamed. I looked behind her to see the doctor who experimented on me with a smoking gun in his hand. "No!" I cried. I ran to her side and hit my knees.

Lana coughed up blood and smiled at me, she grabbed my hand and said to me: "get out of here. Go home with your dad okay be safe, and happy and practice with your powers everyday."

My heart clenched and tears ran steadily down my cheeks, "Lana please stay with me." I pleaded with a strangled voice. "I need you Lana." Lana closed her eyes and smiled again with tears slipping from her eyes.

"I'm not leaving you (Y/N). I will always be with you no matter what." with that her body went limp and her hand fell form mine but the smile she wore never faded.

[singularattitudeofasafetypin]

Wanted Man

Masterlist

Summary: Reader stays with Eddie after the gang find him post-Chrissy. She's harboured feelings for him for a long time but always kept them to herself until now.

Word Count: 2.2k ish

Warnings: Pretty angsty at times, insecure Eddie

A/N: I'm British, anything I get wrong about America, that's why. I hope you enjoy reading.

Please don't copy my work

The look in his eyes when you found him was something you’d never forget. Worse than fear, it was terror.

‘Eddie! We’re on your side!’

‘We just wanna know what happened!’

‘You won’t believe me!’ His voice was raw and broken. He couldn’t stop shaking. It was breaking your heart.

‘Try us!’ You offered gently and his eyes snapped up to yours, desperately searching them for comfort, certainty, anything solid.

It was slow and painful but together, you managed to get the truth out of him. Every word was a knife in your heart as he described the horror he’d witnessed. He was never supposed to get mixed up in this! Never supposed to get hurt!

The others discussed a plan of action but you could only half listen. Eddie was silent but his flickering eyes and twisted expression betrayed a world of agony.

‘I’m staying here,’ you interrupted. The others stared at you in surprise. ‘We can’t leave him here on his own!’ You insisted.

Eddie scoffed half-heartedly, ‘I’m not gonna do anything stupid sweetheart!’ His failed attempt at bravado only hardened your resolve.

‘Besides, he’s a wanted man, or soon will be! What if the cops come? Or someone else!’ You swallowed nervously, lowering your tone, ‘You know what this town is like!’ Especially to him.

Steve looked unsure but Robin and Dustin nodded. ‘Okay, but keep your walkie on. Channel six alright?’

‘Alright.’

They said their goodbyes, promising to come back with supplies, and suddenly, you were alone.

Okay this was weird. You’d never actually spoken to Eddie before. You’d been in the same school year but you’d moved in different circles, and while you’d graduated almost two years ago now, Eddie had been left behind.

You remembered how he used to get up on tables and make grand speeches about social conformity and make fun of the jocks. He’d seemed so brave, so confident. To tell the truth, you’d had a crush on him since middle school that had only grown with time. His antics always made you smile, always so theatrical and animated. All the way through your senior year you told yourself you’d act on it but something always held you back.

None of that mattered now. The Eddie in front of you was a far cry from the loud-mouthed teenager you remembered and no wonder.

He caught you staring and tried to laugh, ‘I meant it you know? I’m not about to do anything stupid! I don’t need a babysitter!’ His words were obviously meant to sound light-hearted and reassuring but they came out bitter.

‘I didn’t think that.’ You said softly, ‘I just didn’t want you to be alone after…’ you trailed off. You introduced yourself, trying to take his mind off of the ordeal he’d found himself in, ‘we were in the same school year, you probably don’t remember- ‘

‘I remember you!’ He cut in, ‘I’m surprised you remember me!’

You couldn’t help laughing, ‘You’re kind of hard to forget!’ A ghostly smile passed over his lips so you went on. ‘Do you remember that time when you told Tony Franks that basketball was just tossing balls into laundry baskets?’

His smile grew a little warmer, ‘Yeah… I’ve used that one a few times since!’ He admitted.

‘It’s a good one!’

*

The next morning Dustin and the others arrived with food and drink. Their arrival almost scared him half to death but before long, Eddie was shovelling cereal into his mouth like a starved animal.

Their report on the situation wasn’t good.

The police were convinced Eddie had killed Chrissy and were looking for him. On the bright side, his name wasn’t public yet.

‘But if we found out about you it’s only a matter of time before others do to and once that gets out, everyone and their shallow-minded mother is gonna be gunning for you.’ Robin interjected.

Eddie looked sick with fear, ‘Hunt the freak, right?’ he said bitterly. You laid what you hoped was a reassuring hand on his arm. He started a little at your touch but didn’t pull away.

‘Exactly.’

‘So,’ Dustin went on, ‘before that happens, we just need to find Vecna, kill him and prove your innocence!’

‘That’s all Dustin?’ He retorted, ‘That’s all!’

The others started rambling about how he didn’t need to worry. Recounting their previous experience with the Upside Down but their own horrifying experiences didn’t seem to help. His eyes flicked between them, still wide and afraid. You felt him shaking and squeezed his sleeve. For a moment he looked at you. You desperately wanted to say something but the sound of sirens in the distance tore the group’s attention.

‘Tarp!’ Robin pointed frantically. While Eddie hid, you rushed to the window with the others, watching as the flashing lights sailed down and past. As the noise grew fainted, you let out a sigh of tentative relief. ‘It’s okay!’ you called over your shoulder, ‘It’s alright!’

Eddie was shaken, nerves even worse than before. The gang made ready to leave. You caught Steve as he was walking out the door. ‘Come back with a plan.’ You pleaded, ‘Something!’ Steve glanced toward Eddie, still sat in the boat, arms around his knees, then back at you. He nodded,

‘We’ll try.’

The door closed. He didn’t move. Gingerly you stepped closer, careful not to startle him, and climbed into the boat so you were facing him. He didn’t speak for a while. He hardly looked at you, wringing his hands and rubbing his face. You didn’t push him, drawing your knees to your chest like a mirror.

‘They’re really after me, aren’t they?’ his voice was so small, you barely caught it. You nodded slowly, wishing you had words to comfort him. To make him believe everything would be okay.

‘Don’t lose hope,’ the words sounded superficial even to yourself, ‘Dustin and the others… they really have dealt with this before. There has to be something they can do to fix this!’

The corner of his mouth twitched. Inclining his head, ‘Are you always this optimistic?’ he asked, looking at you through the hair that had fallen over his face.

You caught your breath. He really was just as beautiful as you remembered. ‘I’m trying to be!’ you answered softly. He looked at you for a little longer than maybe he should, before shaking himself.

‘So, you and Henderson know each other pretty well huh?’

‘Yeah!’ his gaze had left your brain fuzzy, ‘I used to babysit for him all the time! He’s a great kid!’

‘Yeah, he’s great!’ for the first time, his smile seemed genuine, lighting his eyes with a small glow. ‘And you know the others? Buckley, and Mayfield… Harrington?’

‘Yeah, a little,’ you nodded.

‘You hang out a lot?’

‘Sometimes,’ you wondered what he was getting at. ‘Dustin tells me all about your campaigns!’

‘Oh yeah?’

‘They sound really epic! You should be a writer or something!’ The strange moment passed and conversation started to flow easier. He jumped less at the slightest sound and began to smile more, sending the butterflies in your stomach into a frenzy.

From time to time, his eyes would grow distant, his sentence dwindle, but you’d manage to distract him while the day turned to night.

*

You convinced Eddie to make the journey across to the house. There’d been radio silence from the others for a while and you were both starving hungry. Rick’s kitchen was your last bet before you risked a trip to the grocery store. ‘Ha!’ you declared, reaching on your tiptoes for a can of Spaghetti-O’s on the top shelf.

Eddie snorted, ‘They’ll do!’

‘Go sit down,’ you told him, ‘I’ll sort this out!’

Obediently, he left the kitchen and took up residence on the beat-up old sofa next door. You chatted between rooms for a bit but eventually grew quiet. Moments later, you poured half the warmed spaghetti into a bowl and when you couldn’t find another one, took the pan and two spoons with you.

Eddie was sat at the foot of the sofa, stony faced as a voice you recognised as the Police Chief’s crackled out of a small radio he’d found. ‘…Rest assured we are doing everything we can to catch this vile murderer.’

‘Hey, turn that thing off!’ you chided him. He flinched at your voice but did as you asked.

‘Thanks,’ he muttered, taking the bowl you held out and raising an eyebrow at the pan in your other hand.

‘Rick doesn’t seem to own another bowl,’ you explained, ‘You’re lucky I managed to find you a spoon!’

You sat down next to him, the hot food filling the gaping hole in your stomach. He took a few mouthfuls, then just poked at it.

‘Too hot?’ you asked. He shook his head, not looking up from the bowl. ‘Eddie, what’s wrong?’

A pained expression marred at his features; the corners of his mouth tightened like he was about to cry. ‘Eddie- ‘

‘You know this is my first time being wanted!’ The words were bitter and jaded, ‘I mean Mom and Dad didn’t want me, High School couldn’t keep its hands off me but it didn’t want me!’ his lip trembled, ‘Sometimes I wonder if Wayne really wanted me or if I just showed up unannounced and he didn’t know what else to do!’ Voice quavering, he pulled his face into a sardonic grin, ‘I guess this is it! I guess it’s finally my year!’

He was spiralling. Badly. You eased the bowl from his hands and clasped them in your own. ‘Hey!’ You coaxed, rubbing the back of his hand in attempt to ground him. ‘Don’t say that! Please don’t say that it isn’t true!’ 

He scoffed, turning away from you, ‘Who in their right mind would’ve wanted- ‘

‘I wanted you!’ That stopped him. You’d surprised yourself at how forcefully you admitted it. ‘I wanted you… for so long! I cared when you were sad! I worried when you didn’t show up to class! I would have… minded if you disappeared!’ 

Your voice caught in your throat. Eddie was dumbstruck, all he could do was stare at you, eyes wide and mouth half open. ‘Look, I kinda had a crush on you practically since I saw you in middle school and I always meant to tell you but I never had the nerve and then,’ you were rambling now, struggling to explain away your outburst, ‘Then I left and you stayed and I never properly saw you again!’ You forced yourself to take a breath. Eddie still didn’t say anything. 

‘I’m sorry!’ You said, letting go of his hands, ‘I’m sorry if I’ve made it weird now! You don’t have to say anything or like me back or whatever. It was a long time ago, not that I’m over it, I’m just… okay with it now.’ Another breath,

‘I just needed you to know how much you were… how much you are wanted! And I’m sorry I never showed it! I’m sorry I never told you how much I missed you when you weren’t around!’ 

Still silence. It was killing you, the way he just stared with his beautiful eyes. 

‘I can go if you want, if I’ve made you uncomfortable!’ Your eyes fell to the floor, feeling a lump form in your throat, ‘I’ll get one of the others to come and stay with you if you want.’ 

‘You wanted me?’ He breathed, like the words would shatter if he said them too loud. 

Biting your lip to keep tears from falling, you nodded. ‘I loved you!’ 

Your heart thumped against your chest in the stillness, wishing he would say something but dreading what his words might be. He moved. His hand cupped your cheek and you squeezed your eyes closed, fighting not to cry and unable to face him. Then he was kissing you.

Without thinking, you kissed back. It felt like a dream. It was exactly like you used to imagine, warm and sweet and overwhelmingly right! You couldn’t help savouring it for a moment. It was all you’d wanted for as long as you could remember.

Heart wrenching, you pulled away first, scolding yourself for being so thoughtless. It wasn’t fair. ‘You don’t have to do that!’ you shook your head. ‘You don’t have to do that for me!’

How dare you let him feel like he had some debt to pay for your words. He was hurt and afraid and alone! Selfish girl! Selfish, selfish girl!

You couldn’t stop the tears now. Eddie’s hand caught your arm before you could tear yourself away. ‘No! Don’t go. Please!’

Wide brown eyes captured your own. His cheeks were etched with tear tracks too. He held onto you like a lifeline, like if he let go, you’d vanish. He drew a shaky breath,

‘I want you!’

The words wrung your heart but you smiled through the tears. Spoken in such earnest, with such sincerity, such love.

‘I want you!’

***

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Masterlist

[wrenhyperfixates]

All I Need is You

Pairing: Loki x reader Summary: You do so much for everyone else and so little for yourself that when you almost collapse, Loki finally gets you to agree to let him take care of you. Warnings: the reader skips some meals; a lot of fluff A/N: Its really just Loki taking care of you. But please remember to take care of yourselves too everyone!! Hope you enjoy :)

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Disclaimer: Gif not mine

Loki was watching you even more carefully than normal these days. Yes, you’d caught his eye even on your first day in the Tower back when you were just a new recruit, a SHIELD agent with some kind of sixth sense that let you anticipate things, recently transferred to the Avengers Tower. Even now no one was entirely sure if it was a power or just an uncanny knack you had that made you extremely good at your job. Regardless, the trickster god could see how the ability had shaped you.

You’d only been in the Tower a week when you’d started running errands all over the city, offering things to people before they could even think they needed it themselves, then going to pick it up for them. Loki had declined the offer after hearing all the places you were already going. He’d hoped it was a fluke, that you wouldn’t make it a habit of taking care of everyone. Not that it was inherently bad, he just knew how tiring it could be to please everyone, worried that you would burn out. Of course, you had kept doing it, and his worries turned out to be justified.

“Darling, are you going out again?” Loki asked as you passed his seat in the common room on your way to the elevator. He set his book down, frowning. “Did you not just go yesterday? Unless, of course, this time it is for you. Then by all means, please be on your way.”

“No... It’s just Steve and Bucky were talking about some cereals they used to like and we don’t have any in the Tower so...” you trailed off, shuffling your feet.

“And can they not wait for it until the next scheduled trip to the supermarket?”

“Well, yeah, they said they could. But I don’t mind.”

Loki stood and sighed, walking over to you. Gently, so you didn’t have to comply if you didn’t want to, Loki lifted your chin to look at him. You looked tired. Admirable as it was that you wanted to do things for others, you needed a rest day.

“And tell me, darling, when was the last time you did something for yourself?” He waited a moment for an answer, but was met with silence. “What about that drawing you started two months ago? Have you worked on that more?”

“It wasn’t any good, anyway,” you shrugged. “I’ve been busy.”

“It was wonderful,” he reassured you. “What about eating, though? Have you eaten today?”

“I... I had a mint.”

“That does not count.” Now he was outright worried. You did this every once in a while, saying you just got so caught up in other things, you forgot to eat. Whatever the reason, it troubled Loki. “You have had some water at least? You know what, do not answer. I am sure I know already. Just wait here a moment.”

You waited by the lift as Loki padded to the kitchen, searching for a water bottle. The problem went beyond just these shopping trips. Sometimes when Tony or Bruce got stuck on one of their projects, you’d pore over books and blueprints for hours, searching for the answer, losing sleep. Then other times, you took it upon yourself to plan events for the team. It was more than a simple, casual invitation. No, it usually involved at least three days of extensive planning. Everyone enjoyed them and was appreciative, needing a break from their day-to-day lives, but it just took up more of your time and brainpower. Pile that onto your own training and missions, it was enough to wear anyone out.

But what he both loved and hated the most was how you’d always be there to talk. Not just for him, but for everyone. And not merely a laid-back chat, either. No, they were practically therapy sessions. Again, just like all the other things you did, that would be all fine and good, except for the fact you never talked about your own issues. You just did so much for everyone else and practically nothing for yourself, even something so basic as remembering to eat, that it broke Loki’s heart a little more every day.

“Here,” he said, handing you the plastic bottle. “But I am coming with you.”

Smiling brightly, you led the way out into the city streets. You chatted as you went about your task, and Loki was yet to take his eyes off of you. It wasn’t until you started the journey back, however, that he began to grow worried. You hadn’t taken even the smallest sip of the water he’d fetched for you, and on this hot day, it was clearly taking its toll. You stumbled a little, suddenly looking more out of it than Loki could stand. He gently gripped your arm to steady you and led you to a bench. Grabbing the water out of your backpack, Loki uncapped it and held the bottle to your lips.

“Drink,” he ordered, but with kindness in his tone.

One of your hands that was gripping the bench a bit too tightly in an attempt to ground your dizzy mind came up to take the bottle from him. Complying, you downed nearly half the bottle in one gulp. It seemed that was a mistake as your empty stomach gargled, rebelling against the sudden intake. Loki rubbed large circles on your back while you scrunched your eyes closed, breathing deeply as you tried to force yourself to feel better.

“Are you alright, darling?” Loki asked when you felt well enough to take another few small sips. You nodded your head, eyes still closed. “Now do you see why it is important to take care of yourself? Will you please get some rest this afternoon?”

“I’m fine, really. Don’t worry, I-”

“That is madness!” Both Loki and you flinched at his sudden increase in volume. He removed his hand from your back, feeling unworthy to make contact with you after snapping like that. You were his friend, and he was yelling at you for something like this? It made him disappointed in himself. He sighed. “Listen, I am sorry. All I mean is I care about you. I do not like to see you like this. It is not healthy, and I believe you know that.”

You opened your eyes, blinking at him. “You-you care about me?”

Loki felt heat flood to his cheeks as he realized that he had, in fact, said that. “I do. So will you please let me take care of you?”

You bit your lip for a minute. “I will,” you sighed, giving in.

Satisfied, Loki coaxed you into accepting a piggyback ride the rest of the way home. You placed your forehead in the crook of his neck, enjoying his cool skin against yours, which was noticeably overheating. He quickly tossed the grocery bags of cereal onto the counter and brought you to your room, your own little pocket of the world that you trusted Loki enough to share with him if even for a moment. Laying you down on your bed, he told you to rest for a minute, lips placing a ghost of a kiss on your forehead.

The god moved to your bathroom, looking for what he needed. After preparing a bubble bath with nice, cool water, Loki left you to sink into it with only the order to relax. While you did, he hurried to prepare you a light meal, something that wouldn’t upset your stomach. When you padded out of the bathroom in the soft pajamas Loki had left for you and saw the meal on a tray on your bedside table, a smile tugged at your lips.

Loki peeled back the silken sheets he’d put on your bed so you could get under them. With a little bit of difficulty—Loki never had gotten a firm grasp on understanding Midgardian technology—he flipped through the channels on your TV until you found something you wanted to watch while you ate.

“Is there anything else you need?” he asked once you were done eating, before leaving you to your own devices.

You bit your lip as you thought before ultimately shaking your head no. “I’m good thanks.”

“Please, darling, be honest with me,” he pleaded. “Anything you want. Name it, and it is yours.”

“Will you stay with me?” you blurted out. “No, I’m sorry, that’s ridiculous. I’ve taken up enough of your time.”

“Darling,” he tsked. “The only thing on my schedule today is taking care of you.”

You smiled as he slid under the sheets next to you, wrapping his arms around your body and pulling you onto his lap. You twisted your body so you could look at him and tuck a few locks of his raven hair behind his ear. You were living in your own place in time, the two of you finding a safe haven in each other’s arms.

“You know what would make me really happy, Loki?” you began. “If I got to give you a little, thank you. Would that be alright?”

The god hesitated for a moment. “I suppose. Depending on what it is.”

“Can I... Would it be alright if I kissed you?”

“Well, that depends, again.”

“On?”

“On whether or not we can make it a regular occurrence,” Loki replied with a playful grin.

“You know, you are always saying I should do things that make me happy. So yes, yes we absolutely can.”

“In that case,” he said, already leaning in, “what are you waiting for?”

Giggling, you bridged the gap between you. As Loki smiled against your lips, he realized something. No matter how stubborn either of you were when it came to accepting help for yourselves, you’d always have the other to take care of you. And even more importantly, Loki thought, you’d have each other to love.

[widow-maximov]

Surprise..?

Pairing: Natasha x Reader

Warning: Language, lots of fluff, maybe angst..

Summary: Being an Avenger is exhausting, your girlfriend Natasha decides to surprise you... Will you be thrilled?

Word count: 6.8k

My requests are always open so feel more than welcome to pop in a suggestion for the next story :3

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

Having a simple life as an Avenger was definitely out of the window, this job required very high skills and concentration, especially if you have powers you need to know what you are doing so you don't end up hurting someone.

But the thing is, no one warns you how extreme this job can get, from watching people dying to not being able to find a solution to huge problems.

All of this pulls down on the reputation of Avengers which isn't good at all, watching as the news pull your name down is horrible to watch, which motives a lot of people but some only blame themselves for not doing something in that moment.

That happened to you, once. When you joined the Avengers you expected things to be hard of course but when you were sent out to your mission, it seemed like everything was going good and smooth.

So you started to like missions and started to take more for experience of course you was companied with your teammates for the time being until you gained enough skills and knowledge to do anything by yourself.

There is this one mission you'll never forget...

You woke up in the morning feeling confident about this missions, you were brief the day before by Steve, he went over with you what you need and how to take it.

You were suppose to get this important piece of paper and with your camouflage powers, they thought it would be best to let you go alone, Steve and Tony were convinced you have enough knowledge to do this by yourself.

Some teammates still insisted on coming along with you but they were told no by Steve and you felt a little proud that within couple of these months here, you were able to score your own mission.

Natasha was one of those teammates who insisted on coming, she wanted to ensure you didn't get hurt, during the shoot out but Steve was quick to shutting her out from any information.

He knew that Natasha would end up following you and jeopardising the mission leaving the Avengers empty handed again. He was exhausted with his teammates coming back from missions beating to the point where they would spend weeks in the medical wing.

Every time Steve sent out a group of people, they were always ambushed and over powered by their enemy so getting that paper was very important and if that meant having Natasha angry at him for some time, he took those chances.

She was left out in the dark which she hated so much, Natasha wanted to help but she could only hope nothing would happen to you, she made sure to train you just before you left for the mission.

She definitely didn't want to say goodbye with words, so training had to do for now. You were exhausted by the end of the session with her but still had enough energy to pull her into a hug before actually leaving.

Everyone knew apart from Natasha that you liked her, everyone knew apart from you that Natasha liked you too which only frustrated the team mates that shipped you in secret.

It was nice watching Natasha crumble under your touch, she would melt into your hugs and you would melt under her gaze, it was very visible about how oblivious the two of you were.

Which was really difficult for Natasha to see you go off on your own, she just wanted to make sure you would be fine in the end but only time could tell.

You were pretty successful on your own, you managed to access the room that stored the paper, you only needed to knock out the two guards that were in the way, you used your powers and they were unconscious within seconds.

You had a smug smile across your lips as you walked over to the cabinet that the paper was in, failing to notice that camera with a sensor which sense your movement.

You uncamouflaged and bend down to open the little cabinet door, snatching the paper, suddenly the wall turned displaying a location and a timer.

The red lights flashed and an alarm went off, your heart sunk as you stared at the timer, you had to turn this off, you tried to look for something to turn this off but it was impossible.

You reached for your com as you spoke "Uh, a timer went off and its counting down, there is a location here but nothing to turn this off"

"You have to get to the location! You can dismantle the bomb there" Tony spoke through your ear.

You swallowed hard as you rushed out of the building, heading to the place that had the bomb, you barely could breath when you arrived but that didn't stop you, you rushed inside.

You failed to notice that the bomb was located amongst people, two tall buildings with thousands of people, when you gotten to the bomb, it was placed in the middle and it was very visible.

You looked around and no one was there, you collapsed onto your knees and reached for the com "What do I do now?"

"Cut the red wire!" Tony spoke again.

You turned the bomb around and found no wired "What?" you whispered.

"What red wire? There are no red wires here Tony!" You was filled with anxiety, the way it was ticking was making you even more nervous.

"There might be a compartment, pry it open with something and cut the red wire!"

You nodded as if he was here to see that, you found something to pry it open and found wires that are not red but all brown, "They are all brown Tony"

"Okay, look at the first wire and see where it leads, if it leads to the battery, cut it"

You had sweat sliding down your face as you stared at the wires, none of them led anywhere, you looked at the screen that displayed the time, you barely had time to even take this back to Tony.

"I-" You spoke but anxiety was stopping you.

You had 20 seconds and there was no way you could defuse this, you swallowed as you spoke "I can't do it"

"Kid! Yes you can, just look at the wires and just cut it off with the knife"

You was staring at the wires since you opened it and you knew if you cut the wrong one, you will blow up right here with it "I- I can't"

Now there were tears sliding down your face, you had less than 15 seconds left, you took a deep breath and cut the last brown wire, and nothing happened, nothing the timer was still ticking and nothing stopped.

You started to cut off all of the wires and nothing, you took deep breath as a voice screamed into your ear "Run Y/n!"

You didn't have to be told twice, you placed the bomb and ran for your life, as soon as you made to the door, the bomb went off and you flew several feet away from the building, crashing into another building and hitting the wall which knocked you out.

The bomb did big damage causing the whole two building to shake and catch on fire, killing hundred people in process and leaving thousands to somehow escape.

The rest of the Avengers managed to help those people out with Tony's technology as Natasha gotten you back to the medical wing. She was anxious and afraid she will lose you, she never saw your body be so still and lifeless.

As soon as you woke up from the coma you were in, you noticed no one around, panicked you wanted to get up but the pain in your body slowed you down.

You took a deep breath as you pulled out the needle in your arm, and started to walk out of the room, as soon as you heard someone coming, you used your powers to camouflage and proceeded to your room.

As soon as you gotten there, you turned on the TV and saw your name displayed as the news people spoke about you "Is Y/n L/n a hero or a threat?"

"What we witnessed couple hours ago, could only prove that Avengers might have a liar amongst themselves. From the footage you could see Y/n run inside and run out and a boom went off, this is terrifying!" One of the women spoke on the TV.

You had tears in your eyes, not only from physical pain but also by hearing how your name is getting dragged in mud, you changed the channel.

"This is getting serious, why would an individual that is suppose to be a hero, kill hundreds of people? That's easy! Y/n L/n joined the Avengers and gained their trust to only betray them and watch as fear and loss is spread"

You shook your head as you whispered out "No, that's not true"

Each channel had your name pulled through mud as you listened to each of them and nodded to agree with them whenever they mentioned the failure you were.

Natasha barged inside the room with fear in her eyes but as soon as she looked at you, she let out a sigh "Here you are, why did you leave the medical wing?"

She looked at the TV when she received no answer, she walked over and took the remote to turn off the news, you was still staring at the black TV "Hey Y/n.."

You looked at her with tears threatening to spill, she placed her hand on your face "It's not your fault.."

You shook your head to disagree "It's all of my fault, I should've done something, anything to save all of those people. I failed and now I have to live with it"

"It's not your fault, you weren't trained to defuse bombs, and whatever the news say, it shouldn't matter because we know you and you tried your best, there was nothing you could've done"

You sighed as you leaned into her and she embraced as you silently cried into her, she was there through that bad time and you were more than grateful for her sticking by your side.

The public gradually warmed up after a heartfelt apology that came from you after properly leaving the medical wing, but you knew if any more slip ups happened this would really effect you, at least Natasha stuck with you that was really important to you.

Now that you and Natasha were together, she changed so much and the team kind of hates it but likes it at the same time. She throws a fit whenever she is unable to sit next to you during movie night, this caused so many groans to escape and in the end she was satisfied when she sat in your lap.

The only reason this relationship happened was because of Clint and Bucky, they were very invested in your relationship and wanted to speed things up, they couldn't watch you stare at Natasha like you wanted her right there and then.

They needed this to sail and they did what they needed to do, they set the two of you up, they faked a little get together and just invited the two of you, of course the whole team were threatened that if they ruin this, they will not live to see the next day.

You were sitting in your room when suddenly Bucky runs in, making you jump "What the fuck Bucky!"

He giggled like a little girl and smiled at you whilst staring at you "That was funny"

You rolled your eyes "What do you want? Can't you see I'm busy"

"I just wanted to tell you that, Tony and I are throwing a little get together so you have to be there" He spoke as he slowly made his way towards your closet.

You jumped up and followed him "Why is he throwing one? He throws parties every weekend anyway"

There was a slight panic in Bucky's eyes but he wasn't facing you so you didn't see it "Because it's for us"

You sighed, knowing you won't get out of this "Fine-"

You tried to agree but the flying top hit your face, you pulled it off and threw it at him "You dickhead I'm behind you"

He giggled again "I know"

You pushed him gently and slightly giggled as well "What are you even doing?"

"Looking for some good clothes you can wear" He spoke as he kept trying to find something.

"I know how to dress good" You stated.

That caused him to turned his head and look at you up and down "Yeah sure"

"Get out of here before I make you" You crossed your arms as you stared at him.

"Okay fine but be ready by 7" He started to walk towards your door, you nodded at him and when he stopped again and looked at you "Make sure it's something elegant or..."

He smirked "Revealing.."

You started to walk towards him and he ran away from you as he was giggling, you shook your head with a smile and closed the door. You looked at the clock, you still had time so you continued with what you were doing.

You ended up showering and dressing elegant, you wasn't exactly informed what this get together was for, so you just dressed up that was revealing but very respectfully.

Bucky walked you to the elevator and told you where to go, being here for more than a year and still not familiar that this place has more rooms, but this building is owned by Tony Stark of course it has so many rooms.

You were glad he didn't plan this get together somewhere away because getting back here whilst your drunk is a problem, you walked into this room and it had everything, a dance floor, a bar with tables near by and only one table decorated.

It should've already lit up a little bulb in your head but you were too shocked by the size of this room and how it fit here, there was a big balcony as well with some comfortable chairs.

You made your way towards the bar before doing anything else, you made yourself a drink and turned around to still no one, until your eye caught movement out in the balcony.

You frowned as you didn't notice or heard anyone entering, so you made your way towards the movement as you saw Natasha sitting down enjoying her drink.

"Natasha?" You asked, causing the woman to quickly look over at you and continue to stare out in the city after.

"Y/n" She simply said your name just like you said hers.

"How long have you been here?" You asked as you still stood in the same place.

"I don't know, I think I'm on my second drink now" She spoke up again, but this time she stood up as she faced you.

"Are you okay?" You asked a little worried.

"Of course" She tried her best to mask her feeling but you knew better.

You looked around and still there was no show from the team "Is the rest of the team coming?"

She scoffed as she walked on towards the bar to top her drink up, causing you to follow "What?"

"They set us up" She spoke with ease, like there were no emotions behind those words.

"What do you mean? Bucky told me about the get together-"

She faced you abruptly "There is no get together Y/n"

You frowned "Then why are you mad?"

"I'm not mad"

"Well obviously something is upsetting you-" You tried to raise your point but she stopped you.

"Because I know how this will end Y/n, the reason to why this happened is because Bucky and the rest of the team can't keep their nose out of my business"

You frowned with confusion "What are you talking about?"

Natasha took a sip of her drink as she slightly leaned back on the bar "They obviously want to humiliate me, they set up everything to be romantic so we get together"

You swallowed at her words, as you take another look at the room, now that she mentioned it you saw it, the table with roses and some candles, expensive wine on the side and the romantic music with slightly dimmed lights.

You looked back at her and before you could even say anything, she beat you to it "Please spare me the whole 'I like you but just a friend' thing, I really just want to enjoy my drink and not think about the rejection from you"

"This is why they called it the 'get together' huh.." You mumbled underneath your nose as realisation hit you.

"You didn't really think Tony would organise a random get together?"

You shrugged "I mean that man is unpredictable and likes to drink a lot so I wouldn't really think about it"

She chuckled into the glass before she took a sip of her drink, which you used an opportunity to talk "Look Nat, I'm not sure why you instantly assume there wouldn't be a little percent of me being interested"

Natasha raised her eyebrows at you "You see yourself with me? In a romantic way?"

She stared at you as you innocently shrugged "Would that be so bad?"

"N-no of course not!" She stuttered as she was quick to disagree with you.

You slightly smirked and taking a sip of your own drink that you were still holding, you walked over to her and grabbed two wine glasses, slowly making your way over to the table.

"What are you doing?" She asked as she watched you curiously.

"Starting to enjoy this date" You spoke as you turned your face to see her, she looked down briefly with a smile and finally joined you...

It was definitely a successfully date which led to multiple dates to happen after, and here you are couple years in, still as Natasha's girlfriend.

So far it seemed like everything was going great, waking up in Natasha's arms each morning, slightly lay in as you enjoyed the morning together, it never gotten boring because those were the moments you could relax before the chaos started.

The only breaks you ever had was little dates that could only last an hour or so before heading to sleep as work wasn't going to wait in the morning, it was exhausting and Natasha noticed that.

She was worried about you, usually you and her would spend couple hours after missions, just talking and catching up but lately you were a little withdraw from her.

She didn't blame you, these missions only gotten harder and sometimes spending days without each other only added to the stress, so Natasha being a genius she is, came up with a solution.

She wanted to surprise you with a vacation, away from this constant stress but of course this required her being away more as she took on more missions.

So when she started to be less around, you started to panic, you were scared that this was the end of your relationship. At first you thought maybe it's before there is more to do but Steve accidently slipped and said that there is the same amount of missions.

This caused you to spiral, after your own tiring missions all you wanted to come back to was Natasha's arms, the way her fingers would be deeply buried into your head and you would peacefully fall asleep with her head buried into her neck.

Natasha briefed the team of what she was doing, warning that if anyone slips up about her surprise, she will literally throw them off a building and not care if they have something to save themselves.

By the time Natasha would be back, you would be either sleeping or already on your own mission, you barely saw each other and never had any time to have a conversation.

What you thought Natasha was doing, was actually far from it. She was saving up to surprise you whilst you sat in your shared bedroom coming up with scenarios where she tells you she doesn't want to be with you.

You blamed yourself for being so withdraw but it was hard to talk about the things you had to witnesses and ensure you don't fail like you did couple years back.

You informed Steve that you will be taking the day off before hand as you sat in the dark for Natasha to come back. You didn't know if she would be back now or in the morning but you couldn't sleep, you needed to know if she was avoiding you.

The door opened as Natasha tried to sneak inside of the room without waking you up but that was useless when she noticed you sitting on the bed.

She turned on the light "детка (baby) are you okay?"

You look at her with tears in your eyes, she rushes over to you as she checks for any signs of injuries "What's wrong?"

You take a deep breath "Are you going to leave me?"

She stopped in her tracks as she stared at you with shock "W-what?"

You wiped the fallen tears as your eyes were glued to her "You started to take on more missions and I know it's not because there is more, Steve told me"

Natasha signed as she closed her eyes and mentally cursed Steve for opening his mouth, but you continued "I'm just afraid this means you are avoiding me and will end up breaking up with me"

Natasha finally placed herself in front of you, kneeling down as she took your hands into hers "I'm not leaving or breaking up with you детка (baby)"

You felt relief wash over you at her words "Then why are you taking on more missions?"

She took a deep breath as she stared into your eyes "I wanted to surprise you, I didn't think you would find out so early but-"

She stood up as she walked over to her laptop, she sat herself next to you as she opened it, letting the display show what she was looking up.

"I noticed you were stressed and wanted to surprise you with a vacation" She flicked through some of the tabs that showed multiple locations for perfect vacation spots.

You gasps as you watched her flick through, you could feel the weight on your chest just vanish and all of your previous worries wash away.

You still had tears flowing down your face but they were happy tears "I'm sorry Natty, I jumped into conclusions but lately my nightmares have gotten worse since you haven't been here"

She sadly smiled at you as she placed the laptop down and pulled you into her, with her thumb wiping away the tears "It's okay Y/n/n, you don't need to be sorry, it should be me who should be sorry for making you feel like that and not being here for you"

You looked up at her "What did I do to deserve you Tasha"

She smiled "You deserve the world Y/n/n"

"It's in front of me-" You said as you frowned.

Natasha smiled widely as she nodded "I know" the Russian knew exactly what to do, she knew your world was her and tricking you was just as easy.

"You tricked me" Natasha smiled as you dramatically gasps at her 'betrayal'.

She nodded with a smile as she pulled you into a kiss, any stress that was left hanging disappeared within seconds of her lips against yours.

Natasha ended up taking some days off to be with you and help you with your missions but still worked very hard to finally get out of this place and see something new.

Which she succeeded, it didn't take long for that to happen as she had saved up a lot during the time she wasn't around. Natasha was nervous, you thought it was because she had to leave behind a part of her life that she swore to never leave.

But there was something else, she was actually nervous because when she was away from one of the missions that just happen to be in Budapest, she came across her family that she haven't seen in a long time which she failed to mention to you.

She was more than happy to catch up with them and practically spent half of her time with them, to which they found out about her relationship and her surprise.

Alexei being Alexei decided to invite himself along with Melina and Yelena to this surprise without really notifying Natasha, the day she booked the vacation, happen to be the day Alexei decided to have the same vacation.

The day before leaving, he called Natasha and that's when he informed her "Now you won't have to be alone on this vacation Natasha, you'll have us to join you!"

"I wouldn't have been alone, I have Y/n!" Natasha was pacing around the room.

"Oh don't be dramatic, we want to meet this Y/n, it's a perfect timing" She could practically hear his smile as he spoke.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" She asked as she make sure you were out of hearing range.

"I knew you would react like this so we surprised you"

"All three of you were on this?" Natasha asked, she wasn't expecting Yelena to be in on this as well.

"No, he bribed me" Yelena's voice came through the phone as the Russian signed.

She wanted to argue more but she heard you calling out for her "I'll see you tomorrow then"

"That's the spirit-" He spoke very enthusiastically but Natasha was quick to hang up before you overheard the conversation.

"Oh there you are" You finally laid your eyes on her with a huge smile.

You noticed that something was off when she gave you half a smile at your sight, she was clearly nervous "Something's wrong.. What's wrong?"

Natasha shook her head "Nothing is wrong"

"Then why are you nervous?" You had a worried expression plastered across your face.

Natasha cursed to herself at how well you knew her "I was just double checking everything is perfect for tomorrow"

You placed your hand on her cheek, giving her a encouraging smile "Being with you is already perfect, no doubt tomorrow wouldn't be just as perfect"

She smiled as she placed her head on your chest as your arms embraced her "We should probably spend some time with the team before we leave"

Natasha's grip on you tightened "But I want to spend my time with you onlyyy"

You giggled "We will have time during the 3 and half weeks away from them"

"Fine but you're sitting on my lap, I don't want Wanda anywhere near you" Natasha unglued herself from you as she stared you in the eyes.

"Wanda is not a threat but if it will make you feel better that's fine with me" You rolled your eyes but spoke with a smile.

You called in the last movie night before leaving and the team was more than happy to pull away from missions for the day just to spend some quality time with the two of you.

Of course the two of you left the movie night earlier due to getting up early but Natasha might've lied to just have you to herself before actually having to sleep.

The morning was chaos, making sure you had everything and nothing was missing, even when leaving there was always that feeling that something was left behind when in reality you had everything.

Natasha was getting more anxious which was very noticeable, you wanted to say something but you didn't want to do it in the plane. The flight was more than relaxing, you always loved travelling and this was like a dream come true, especially since you thought you would always be stuck in that building working on missions day and night.

When the two of you arrived at the not familiar airport, you stretched out and that's when you noticed a group of 3 people waving and smiling at you and Natasha, you looked back to make sure it was aimed at you.

You turned to Natasha who was checking on her phone how far the hotel was "Nat... Why are there people waving at us?"

She stopped what she was doing as she looked up at you and then at the people, she sighed as she put her phone away and looked back at you "Meet my family"

"Your what?!" You asked as she quickly walked away from you, you followed right after as they greeted you.

"Oh my, you must be Y/n... You are a lot more skinner than we imagined.." Melina commented as she eyed you up and down.

Yelena pushed past Melina as she walked towards you with a smile " You look okay, I like you"

You looked over at Natasha to which she gave you a smile and you laughed nervously at Yelena, on the other hand they seemed nice apart from Alexei.

Melina had to nudge him "Say something Alexei"

"But she haven't said anything, why should I speak first-"

Natasha interrupted him "Great! Y/n/n let me just introduce you since they haven't said their names"

"Alexei" She pointed towards him, "Melina and Yelena" She finished as she faced you again with a smile.

You forced a smile and turned towards Alexei "Are you not the Red Guardian?"

There it was, a huge smile across his lips "She gets it"

"Don't get him started-" Natasha tried to warn you but you didn't want to listen to her at the moment.

"Do you have any cool stories?" You asked as you looked at Natasha briefly and then back at Alexei.

"I have so many! There was this one time-" He started his story with this grin across his face at the recollection of his memories.

"Okay! Not right now, we need to get to the hotel first" Natasha interrupted him as she stepped in front of him so your eyes were on her.

"Natasha is right, we need to go to the hotel and then find somewhere we can eat!" Melina agreed as she took her luggage and started to walk ahead.

Everyone followed her and Natasha as she was the only one who knew where the hotel was, she already rented a car out during the booking and drove to the hotel.

Everyone parted their ways to put the bags away and see how the day can do, you didn't speak to Natasha on your way to the room, you were slightly upset that she didn't tell you. You were meeting her family for the first time and you wanted to know to at least look presentable.

You weren't afraid of what they thought of you but if they would accept you, you love Natasha and you can't see yourself with someone else apart from her so the subject of marriage is still yet to happen, but you want it, you want to be apart of her family and that is if they accept you.

Most of your relationships ended because their family didn't accept you and that's something you didn't want to repeat, you really cared about Natasha so it really mattered to you.

As soon as the two of you walked inside the room, she tried her luck "Y/n/n?"

You ignored her as you started to pull out some fresh clothes to change into, she continued "детка (baby)?"

She made her way towards you which you still ignored, you could never be mad at her, you were just upset so you looked up at her, she always knew that you loved it when she spoke Russian to you.

"You should've told me Natasha" You spoke up as you kept your eyes on her.

She sighed, you never used her name unless it was serious "I'm sorry, I didn't know they were coming until Alexei called me yesterday"

You raised your brows at her "You knew since yesterday and you didn't say anything?"

"You didn't even tell me you had a family in the first place" You tore your gaze from her as you took your clothes and walked to the bathroom.

"I didn't know it would be a big deal Y/n/n" She followed you to he bathroom.

You laid your clothes down as you faced her "Of course it's a big deal, I want to know when I'm going to meet my in laws Natasha"

She couldn't help but smile "In laws?"

"You heard me" You looked away because if you kept looking you would end up smiling, she had a very contagious smile.

"I didn't talk about them because I didn't even think I would see them, ever again but I did and Alexei decided to invite himself to our vacation, I didn't want this meeting to go like this and I'm sorry I didn't say anything, I was afraid you would want to back out"

You stood still as you looked in the mirror and at her, continuing to listen to her before saying anything "I have planned things that doesn't involve them if that's what you're worried about"

She took a couple small steps towards you, making you sigh and face her "That's not what I'm worried about.."

She took your hands into hers as she looked at you with a small smile "Then what are you worried about?"

"That they wont accept me Nat, I don't exactly have a good record of my relationships with family, most of them left because their parents didn't like me, I just- It's stupid" You tore your hands away from her as you looked away.

She shook her head "No it's not" She reached for your chin, forcing you look at her "What you feel is important so stop trying to push it down"

She moved her hand to your cheek " And don't worry about them, they have a hard time warming up to practically everyone, but on the bright side Yelena likes you so that's one person, plus she is very convincing"

You lean into her hand "It still doesn't change the fact that I am upset with you"

She smiled as her other hand made it's way to your hip to pull you closer "Let me make it up to you"

You nodded as you moved closer to her lips with a slight smile, but as soon as it started, it ended. Just when your lips collided with each other like they did a million times before, you were interrupted by a very loud knock.

"Natasha!" Melina's muffled voice came from the other side.

She pulled away and sighed "This is why I wouldn't have agreed to them coming"

You giggled as Natasha answered "What!"

"He is about to break the door, you better open" Yelena shouted as she slightly chuckled.

"You shower and I will busy them" She untangled herself from you as she proceeded to go to them.

"I will shower later, I will just change" You spoke up before she disappeared out of the bathroom.

"You don't need to rush you know?" She asked and you nodded with a smile "I know but I rather shower with you later"

She smirked as she walked out this time, closing the door and walking over to open the door to let them in "How did you even find this room"

Yelena was eating something but she pointed towards Alexei "He was listening in"

Alexei faced her "Snitch, that's not how I raised you"

"Actually you didn't really raise me-" The blonde tried to correct him, but Melina cut in.

"Where is Y/n?" She looked past Natasha into the room and there was no sign of you.

"What did you do to котенок (kitten)?" Yelena asked when her attention was pulled towards the question.

"Did you give a pet name for my girlfriend?" Natasha asked as she narrowed her eyes at her sister.

"She is like a kitten, she's new and cute so yeah she's a котенок" Yelena explained as you walked out of the bathroom in new clothes.

Natasha looked at you with shock "Are you hearing this? She gave you a pet name"

You stood next to redhead as her arm snaked around you "There is no need to be jealous Nat"

You looked at Yelena who had a grin as she knew how to mess with Natasha and you wanted to join in "I'm not jealous, that would mean I don't have you when I do, she's jealous"

Alexei chuckled "Melina I don't think we ever saw Natasha jealous"

You tried your best to not laugh as Melina spoke up "You're right, it's definitely a new look on her"

"Okay that's enough, all of you!" Natasha eyed everyone except you as they continue to tease her.

"We should probably head to eat something or they will close everything" You raised a point to which they all agreed and Natasha silently thanked you from taking their attention of her.

"котенок is right" Yelena used your pet name, earning a death stare from Natasha to which she just giggled.

As you walked on, Natasha had her hand interlocked with yours until Alexei pulled her into him to tell her something causing her to let go of you, making you walk along with Yelena.

"I like your vest" You looked at Yelena and what she was wearing.

She practically beamed "It has a lot of pockets"

"Pockets?" You questioned, it didn't look like it did but as soon as she reached inside, she was able to pull out more than 3 items.

"See, I can stash so much food here" She had a smile plastered across her face as she showed you.

"She never takes off that vest" Melina chipped in as she was observing the two of you.

You were impressed so you really didn't care "I mean I wouldn't either, it's really practical"

"See! She gets it" Yelena raised her voice slightly as you giggled.

Melina rolled her eyes playfully at Yelena, once again Alexei pulled Yelena into him as he spoke to both of them, leaving you with Melina.

"Don't worry Y/n, Alexei will warm up to you but from what I can see, he already took a liking in you so all you have to do is take in interest in his boring stories and he will end up not wanting to leave you alone"

You looked at Melina when she slightly whispered, just enough so the three in the front wouldn't overhear "As for me, Natasha seems to really love you and I want her to be happy, so if it's you who makes her smile like that, then so be it. I'm just happy my little girl is finally happy"

You held back some tears at her speech "I'm very grateful that you took a chance on me Melina, it's very important to me as my mother doesn't see like that"

"Aw Дорогой (sweetheart)" She pulled you into her side as yous continued to walk.

"I swear to god, If another person gives Y/n a pet name, they won't know what day is tomorrow" Natasha pulled herself away from Alexei's grip as she stopped everyone and narrowed her eyes at Melina.

"Okay, calm down Natasha" Melina tried to keep Natasha calm, she was never a threat to them but she didn't want Natasha to be angry after.

"Listen to your mother" Alexei agreed with Melina which only fuelled Natasha on.

She scoffed as she looked at the Red Guardian which caused Yelena to laugh at her sister "I'm so glad we decided to come here and meet котенок (kitten)"

Natasha was ready to fight her sister but you were quicker as you pulled her back to where she was before, holding her by the hand to which she just gave Yelena a death stare and you giggled.

"But don't forget Y/n if you hurt Natasha, we will haunt you down" Melina's tone turned serious.

You gulped and the redhead rolled her eyes "Okay James Bond, leave Y/n/n alone"

Melina's serious face turned into a smile within seconds and she joined the two in the front, now leaving you with Natasha.

"They like you" There was a huge smile across both of yours faces.

"It feels good to know that" You felt at peace, they weren't any regular family, they were chaotic and different and that's what you liked about them.

"I love you" Natasha chocked out as she stopped and pulled you back into her.

"I love you too Talia" A smile was spread across your face that always gave Natasha butterflies, she pulled your face into hers and kissed you with all of emotions behind it.

"You have gotten soft Natasha" Yelena yelled but the redhead didn't care, she probably did go soft but she only showed it when you were around, you made her soft and she actually liked it...

⸻⸻⋙☸⋘⸻⸻

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[buckyownsmylife]

Is she with you? - Bucky Barnes smut

The one where Bucky isn't used to being in the spotlight, but you're a welcome distraction

Warnings: celeb!bucky, slightly dominant reader, breeding kink, smut, praise kink, reader reminding bucky that he’s not a monster while believing her hips can cure him, (yes we all know what he really need is therapy), p in v, words of reassurance, crying during sex (but only like, two tears)

Word count: 1k

A/N: thought this would be a fun change for those of you who don’t read RPF! In a world where the Avengers are seen as celebrities, here’s how Bucky adapts to it ✨ Special thanks to @sinking-in-mercury​ for giving this a read for me!  This was written for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I was trying to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and these fics would be posted randomly, as I finished them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. This is one of the last ones I had ready to post. Hope you guys like it!

Bucky’s P.O.V.

Sighing as soon as the limousine’s door closed, I rubbed my face in an effort to get rid of all the noise and the white flashes that blinded me. I didn’t know why I kept going to these events. It’s not like I couldn’t just threaten Tony to leave me out of all of it.

But still, I persisted. Maybe it was Steve’s soft encouragement, maybe it was the fear of making myself more of an outcast by being the only one who refused to participate. I honestly didn’t know.

What I did know was that at the end of the day, there was one good thing about all of those fancy galas and celebrity events. And that was her.

Seeing her all dressed up was always a given. Well, any day I got to spend by her side was a given, but getting to take her as my date to those fancy events, seeing her eyes widen at getting to meet the people she admired, it all made my heart grow twice its size.

God, I loved her. I loved her, and I couldn’t believe she was all mine.

“How are you feeling?” She asked once I was able to relax back against the seat. I looked to the side to find her smiling patiently at me, her eyes denouncing just how worried she was.

She knew better than anyone how these things affected me, so when I reached out for her hand, she came willingly, settling over my lap after glancing at the partition to make sure the driver wouldn’t see our new position.

“I’m better now that I’m between your legs.” Her answering giggle had my heart jumping, skipping a beat when she bit her lip and looked up at me from under her eyelashes. “Have I told you that you look fantastic tonight?” She really did. Her golden gown had a slit on the right that allowed me to palm her thigh, squeeze it to hear her adorable little surprise gasp.

“Yes, you have,” she informed me. “Countless times.” The little addition had my lips twitching up, amusement clear in my features. Tilting my head, I thought about teasing her, asking her if she was getting tired of my endless comments, but I refrained from doing that.

There was something much more important in my mind. Somewhere I needed to be, urgently. With that in mind, I chose to remind her, “You’re the only thing that makes this entire thing worth it,” while unzipping my slacks and pulling her underwear to the side. Then I was inside the warmest, most perfect tightness I’d ever felt.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I tightened my grip on Bucky’s shoulders, silently pleading with him to wait for a bit as I adjusted to his thickness. Even after so many times of having him, the first invasion still hurt me - but I adored the pain. The stretch was as close to heaven as I believed I could get, so I took every opportunity I had to relish in it.

When I opened my eyes again, it was to find his eyes darkened as they stared at me, always reflecting his state of mind. He could never hide it from me - not his demons, not his nightmares, never the way he felt about himself.

I always knew what was going through his head, which is why I knew what he needed from me right then. “You know no one hates you anymore, right?” I asked as I started to undulate my hips on top of his, clinging to the lapels of his suit as I set out to ride him with all I had.

If I couldn’t make my words settle deep in his brain, the very least I could do was fuck his brain stupid, leave him pliant and soft underneath my fingertips for every word of praise I had to give.

“Everyone knows you were one of the victims, Bucky,” I reminded. “You’re a good person, baby. And I love you. I love you so damn much.” He panted at my words, head falling back against the seat as I kept on rising my hips and letting them meet his once more. Goddamn, I was so fucking wet.

Only Bucky could get me like that. So I’d do anything for him. I tried to cure all the injuries his soul had sustained with each roll of my lips, leaving him breathless, hoping to make him want me even more.

Because that’s what he did to me.

“You’re never gonna leave me?” He asked, breathless and sweaty, but eyes still fiery as they met mine.

“Never,” I reassured him, not stopping my movements for even a second. “I’ll be yours forever, honey. I never want to live without you.” My words had him groaning, teeth carving patterns on his bottom lip as he struggled to contain himself - or so I thought.

“Does that mean you’ll let me cum inside of you?” He asked, bright eyes searching mine for any indication as to what my answer would be. “Give me a family? Show everyone that you’re mine and mine only?”

The idea was so surprising it lit a fire inside of me, adding to the one of desire that was always burning whenever Bucky was near. I gasped and moaned, trying to plead with him so he wouldn’t make me say it, hoping he’d understand what I wanted and needed without any words, but he wasn’t having it.

“Tell me, baby,” he insisted. “Tell me you want to have my baby.” His words were my undoing, but not only because of the meaning behind them. His tone also did something for me, the way they came out all whiny, like he was a little kid begging me for a treat.

I’d give him anything he wanted.

“Yes, Bucky,” I relented. “Give me your cum. I want to give you a child.” I knew he was cumming even before I felt the warm ropes shooting inside my sensitive channel. Tears - of relief, or maybe it was pleasure, I couldn’t really tell - ran down his cheeks as he slowly moved me on top of him, milking his own orgasm until he had nothing to give anymore.

“You take my cum so well,” he complimented after our eyes connected, a boyish smirk on his face that I was quick to kiss away.

“It’s ‘cause it belongs inside of me.”

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

let me be your ruler.3

Warnings: guns, dubcon, noncon, oral.

This is a dark! fic and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Pairing: (dark!mob!) Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: You grow desperate.

Note: So... yeah, another long ass part and yet this story is gonna keep going forever. 🤡

Anyways, I’m excited for this and hope you are too.

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You wiped your hand with the cloth, the cum cooling in a sickly layer across your palm. The same daze washed over you as that morning after the party. Your ears pricked as you listened to Peter in the next room; a faucet turned on and off and you heard a drawer snap closed. He sighed as he strode back through to the bedroom, fixing his belt as he smirked at you.

“Princess,” he came closer and pointed to the corner where a tall hamper stood hidden beside a sleek black dresser. “You haven’t even given me a chance to give you the grand tour.”

You backed away from him and went to dump the cloth in the tall basket. Like everything else in the room, it was ornate and ridiculously fancy. You wondered if his toilet paper was even embossed with his initials. The man, as you were realising, never did anything half-assed.

“Come on,” he waved you to him and held his arm out. “It’s a big place and I want you to feel… at home.”

You stopped short and stared at him. “I don’t… Can I just go--”

“We’re not done,” he snapped his fingers and tapped his toe, “Be good, Princess, and I might just send you off before dark.”

You inhaled and held your breath as you crossed to him. He wrapped his arm around you, his hand on your lower back, and ushered you to the door. He pulled it open and you stepped out into the hallway. He patted your ass as he pointed you onward with his other hand.

“Guest rooms,” he pointed to three doors along the airy hall, “A reading room at the end.” He led you along, “Just around the corner, my office, I guess you’d call it.” He spoke casually as if having a dozen room was hardly extravagant. “At the front of the house, the sunroom. there’s a nice balcony overlooking the yard. You can spend the whole day out in the sun.”

He squeezed your ass as you hesitated and he pointed out several more bedrooms and rooms meant for little more than sitting and admiring the fine furnishing. As you reached the top of the stairs, he urged you down, and followed as he hummed in approval of each step you took.

“I like those jeans, princess,” he said as he caught up to you at the bottom, “But I’m not looking for a jeans girl.”

You faced him and your nostrils flared. You rubbed your palm against the denim. What happened in the bedroom flashed through your head and your breath caught in your throat. You cleared it away as anger flowed through your veins.

“Well, I wear jeans so that’s too bad,” you said rigidly. “Isn’t it?”

He chuckled and brought his fingertips to your cheek. He caressed your skin and gazed into your eyes.

“You’ll wear what I say or nothing at all,” he purred dangerously, “My guests wouldn’t mind either way.”

Your lips parted and you recoiled from his touch. You crossed your arms and glanced around the foyer. You heard muffled voices, a low rumble from another room. You bit back your resent and raised your head. “Fine.” You uttered.

“You’ll love the pool, princess,” he pointed you to the left, “Just through here.” 

He took you through the front room with its expensive sofas and armchairs, an artificial fireplace that took up half the wall, the front windows that looked out into the finely curated garden, and the bar curled against the back just before the archway into the next. 

A long kitchen of pristine whites and pale silvers. The rear wall was almost entirely transparent and a pair of sliding doors opened up into the backyard. Peter showed you out onto the mosaic plateau that coiled out around the vast pool, a hot tub swirling in the corner opposite a rocky grotto. It was like watching some indulgent special on the entertainment channel yet completely unlike anything you’d ever seen in your life.

“There’s a sauna in the basement as well,” he tickled your spine, “And anything you need, I can get.”

You looked at him. He winked and ran his tongue between his lips. You felt out of place in your jersey tee and jeans, the sneakers you wore for errands worn out and scuffed. And you were disjointed; as much as you didn’t belong, you didn’t want to be there.

“Come on, let’s go check on the boys,” he grabbed your hand and you slowly acquiesced.

Back through the sliding doors, your soft soles squeaked on the marble and you went to the right. You head an odd clack as you passed through the dining room with seating for at least a dozen, and through to the second room at the front of the house. The noise was louder as you entered as Steve leaned over the felt and squinted.

Bucky turned as he held a cue and his cheek twitched as he sighted you beside Peter. You fidgeted and the man beside you held you tighter as his hand rested on your hip.

“You two look busy,” he scoffed.

Steve sank his shot and stood. “You told us to stick around,” he raised his brows, “You’re not exactly a great host, Parker.”

“No? You’re playing on my table, sitting around on my couch, eating my food,” Peter’s fingers tapped your hip. “Which isn’t cheap given your pal has a bottomless pit in him.”

Bucky chuckled and turned his cue. His eyes lingered on you before they met Peter’s.

“Well, we’ve been running around cleaning up your messes.” Bucky intoned.

“You been paying your debt.” Peter rebuffed. “And you know that you need me as much as I need you.”

Steve cleared his throat and nodded at you. His jaw clenched and Peter glanced in your direction. He turned to you and brought his hands up to cradled your face. 

“Do me a favour, princess,” he placed a peck on your lips, “Go find something to do.”

You stared at him dumbly. Do what? You peered at the far doorway and thought of just walking out the front door. He chuckled and his hands slid down to your shoulders. 

“You won’t make it past the gate.” He warned, “Now go on.”

He tugged on your tee and released you. He turned to the other men as Steve lined up a second shot. You huffed and strode past the table into the foyer. You neared the bottom of the stairs, trying to remember where everything was. The men’s voices carried through as you stepped up on the first stair.

“You help us with Tony, we’re even,” Bucky said. “But you keep stringing us along and you’re going down with him.”

“You won’t get to him without me,” Peter growled, “We both know that.”

You shivered and climbed up the stairs. You shouldn’t listen, you were in deep enough. You had no idea what the men were up to or why they were after Tony, but you really didn’t want to find out the details. You only had to bide your time until Peter let you go. 

He was going to let you go, right?

✨

Peter found you in what he called the reading room. It was more a small library. It smelled of paper and leather bindings. You were restless at first, skimming the spine of the books, and finally picked out a classic you once read in high school. You opened it but didn’t read, instead staring at the font and trying to think of how exactly you’d ended up there.

As Peter came in, you closed the book and sat up. He seemed amused and stayed in the doorway, hands in his pocket as he admired you. 

“Keep reading,” he said, “Don’t mind me at all, princess.”

“It’s…” You started but smothered your voice. Arguing had gotten you nowhere and if you could keep him placid, he might just let you sit in peace a little longer. “Okay.”

You opened the book again. This time, you focused and read each line slowly. You remembered why you hadn’t liked the book in your teenage years. It was dry and the protagonist was so wrapped up in his own voice, he seemed ridiculously tone deaf and detached from any genuine thought.

You sensed Peter moving in your peripheral. He went to the window and then paced along a shelf of books. As he neared, you pretended not to notice. You shifted as you felt his warmth and turned the page. You did your best not to notice as he knelt on the floor but lowered the book to your lap as he pushed your legs apart.

“What the hell--”

“Shhh,” he rubbed your thighs, “Keep reading, princess.”

You gaped at him as he pushed his fingers under the book and nudged it up. “What are you--”

“Just relax,” he slithered as he lifted the book and your hands followed to keep hold of it. “Keep reading.”

You squirmed and found it hard to keep your arms up. He picked at your fly and you tried to close your legs but they met his sides. He tutted as he unbuttoned your jeans and pushed the zipper down. He pushed up the hem of your tee and kissed your stomach as his fingers curled under the waist of your jeans and the elastic of your panties.

“Peter,” you gasped and lowered the book so that it collided with his head. “Stop!”

He reached up blindly and moved the book back into place before your eyes. His fingers slid around to the side of your jeans and he grazed his teeth against your skin. He bit down and you yelped.

He tugged on your jeans and jerked you roughly. “Come on, princess,” he pulled your pants again, as if to lift you from the seat. “Don’t you want yours?”

You trembled and planted your feet. You raised your pelvis uncomfortably as he kept yanking on your jeans. He slid them down your thighs with your panties and you dropped down heavily. You snaked your hand down to cover yourself and he swept it aside. He leaned back on his heels and gazed up at you.

He rubbed your thighs and pinched. “Princess…” his voice sank deep into your chest. “We both know you want it.”

“Peter, please, I want to go--”

“I like that one,” he looked at the spine of the book, “Read to me.”

“I…” You hissed as he pulled your jeans further down your legs. You repositioned the books and sniffed as he rolled the denim to your ankles and tore off your sneakers in a single swipe. He moved you in the chair and you whimpered. “Peter--”

“Read!” He demanded as he framed your pelvis with his hands. “I wanna hear your voice.”

Your thighs tensed as he bent over your lap and his hot breath tickled your skin. You gulped and blinked at the page. You forced your voice out as the words passed from your lips without understanding. You didn’t follow the story as Peter pressed his mouth to your vee and felt along your folds with his fingertips.

You gasped as he slipped his tongue down over your clit and hummed. Your breath caught and he squeezed your thigh. You reread the same sentence and spoke through gritted teeth. His fingers teased your entrance as he flicked his tongue around your bud. Your words were punctuated by your sharp breaths.

He suckled on your clit and slowly pushed his finger into you. You nearly tore the page as you turned it. Your nails sank into the cover and your feet arched as you pushed against him hungrily. His mouth sent a ripple through you and you hiccuped in surprise as he added another finger.

You lost track of your place and dropped the book against your chest. You threw your head back and moaned. You closed your eyes and gripped the book tightly as Peter urged you to the edge of the seat. He kept his head buried between your legs and curled his fingers. You could hear your arousal as your walls clung to him.

“Oh, god,” you moaned and rocked your hips against him.

He kept on, encouraged by your surrender and you let the book slip down between your side and the chair. You gripped the upholstered arm as your head lolled back and forth in ecstasy. Your nerves stormed and bounced off each other until finally the coil snapped and searing heat exploded in your veins. 

You whined through your climax and panted at the ceiling as Peter urged you on. Your eyes slowly opened as his fingers slowed and he pulled away from your cunt reluctantly. Your heart beat wildly and you lifted your head as he kneaded your thighs.

You swore as a figure stood in the open doorway. Peter hadn’t shut the door and you’d been too distracted by him to notice. You grabbed the book and covered your lap with it as Peter looked over his shoulder. Bucky grinned as he leaned against the frame.

“Just came to tell you we’re off.” He said, “Didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Jesus Christ,” you pushed Peter away and bent to pull your jeans over you. You crossed your legs as he turned to face the other man.

“Well, then go,” Peter snipped.

Bucky chuckled and pushed himself straight. “See ya, Pete.” His eyes flitted over to you. “Sweetheart.”

“Go!” Peter hissed and Bucky waved him off as he turned back down the hall.

You watched him go, embarrassed but tingly in the afterglow of your orgasm. Peter smoothed back the strands of hair that had fallen down his forehead. He grinned as he looked down at you and shrugged his jacket off his shoulders and dropped it beside him.

“We didn’t even finish chapter one,” he drew the jeans away from you and turned the book over. “I’m hooked already.”

✨

You were in shock as you stood in the elevator of your building. Time fractured as the hours passed. You didn’t think Peter would ever let you go but when he did, you barely understood what was happening. He helped you back into your jeans, though your panties had disappeared. Then, as you walked gingerly, he led you back down through the foyer and to his car.

You didn’t remember his search but he dropped your phone into your lap and pushed your purse against your thigh. You stared at the windshield and braced yourself as he drove through the gates. The ride was short, or lost to your frazzled mind. He kissed you goodbye, you remembered that; deeply, longingly. Then, a final warning. 

“Wear a skirt tomorrow,” he cooed, “Six o’clock, princess.”

You nodded to appease him. And then it all blurred again and the metal door slid open and you stepped out onto your floor. You fished out your keys, your phone still clutched in your other hand. It was late, Halle would be home soon, if not already.

The apartment was dark and you felt invisible as you blended in with the shadows and went to your room. You undressed, the denim rough against your flesh. You groaned as your core pulsed and your sensitive clit thrummed. 

You crawled into bed, naked. Even the blankets made you squirm. You were on edge yet exhausted. You stared at the ceiling and let the toll of the day set in. You were dragged down into the dark, your eyelids sagged, and your limbs were heavy. You heard yourself snoring as you succumbed to the night.

When you woke, it was light again. The day before felt like a dream. You peeked out into the hall. The apartment was quiet. You grabbed a towel and covered yourself to sneak into the bathroom. The whine of the faucet awoke you fully and the hot water stripped away the remnants of yesterday.

You inhaled the hot steam as you dried yourself and once more swept the towel around your body. You went out to the kitchen and loaded the coffee machine. Somehow you had to get your head together and do some work. It was Monday. That meant you couldn’t get distracted by the chaos that had erupted in your personal life.

You winced as you heard Halle’s door. She yawned as she entered the kitchen.

“Hey,” she said. “Man, I was so late last night, you were asleep when I got home.”

“Oh yeah? That bad?” The scent of coffee filled your head and chest.

“Yeah, fucking asshole had me auditing my own reports all night,” she grumbled. “Well, how was your day?”

You stared at her. You turned and got a mug from the cupboard. “Lazy.” You lied.

“So… what happened with Peter?” She asked coyly.

You sniffed as you spun back and watched the drip of the machine. You shrugged. “It’s… complicated.”

“Complicated? You went on one date?” She snorted, “You really do make the most of things.”

You glanced at her darkly and grabbed the carafe. You poured yourself a coffee. “Tell me again, was it worth it fucking your boss?”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, are you seeing him again?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know? Ugh, but he’s so cute and so rich!”

“Rich? And how do you know that?”

“Oh, I saw that watch he was wearing.” She said, “It wasn’t cheap.”

“I see, so I should like him because he’s got good taste or because he’s loaded?”

“Jeez, what’s wrong with you?” She scowled. “I’m just tryna have fun.”

You sighed in exasperation. “There’s nothing wrong, Hal, I just don’t need you poking around in my personal life. You’ve done enough already.”

“I was trying to help you. I mean maybe a ‘hey, thanks Halle for getting me a date.’”

“I don’t have time for this. Or you. I have work--”

“Work, work, work,” she sneered, “That’s always your excuse.”

You bit the inside of your lip. You wanted to scream. You wanted to tell her everything about Peter; how pushy he was; how shady he was; how you were terrified of him and whatever it was he did. About the men he surrounded himself with and the gun under his jacket. But you didn’t.

“No, it’s called responsibility, Hal,” you snapped and snatched up your mug.

You left her in the kitchen and as you got closer to your bedroom, your heart sank lower and lower. What was happening to your life? Everything had been in order and suddenly, it was all fucked up.

You shut your door harshly and set your coffee on your desk. Your phone sat on the corner and lit up. It was a text from Peter reminding you of his last words; ‘pick you up at 6’. You sat and stared at the message. Six. You had until six to figure this all out.

✨

The subway ride to the station was the longest of your life. Each stop made your heart leap and as you got closer to your destination, you felt sick. It was your last resort. You didn’t think it would get to this but you couldn’t think of any other way out.

You almost felt guilty as you climbed the steps to the station doors. The memory of Peter’s touch sent chills through you. He was gentle and intoxicating but it didn’t change who he was. You pushed through the doors and looked around. A flurry of activity rushed around you; officers escorted criminals and stopped to chat with each other as others waited in the crowded chairs for their turn at the counter.

You sat, uneasy and anxious. You watched others approach the desk and speak to one of the officers. Most left looking disappointed and you felt less certain as your turn grew closer. When you got up and greeted the round faced officer, he smiled and asked your purpose.

“Um, well, I…” You looked at him badge; Officer Leeds. “I don’t really know what exactly I need to do but… I have someone who won’t leave me alone.”

“Oh? Like a stalker? An ex?” He asked.

“No, not exactly but I, uh, keep telling him to go away and he… won’t.” You frowned. “I just don’t want him around.”

“Okay, well, we can file a report and go from there.” He searched around and pulled out a set of papers. “Come with me.” He led you away from the counter and to a smaller desk. He sat and waved you down across from him. “We’ll start with your details.”

He went over each space; name, address, phone number… By the time you were done all that, you were nervous and twitchy.

“And you know this person who is bothering you?” He asked.

“Yes, kind of,” you uttered. “His name is Peter.” You gulped. “Parker.”

He nodded and wrote down the name. “And what actions has he taken that have made it necessary for you to file a report against him?”

“We… I went on one date with him. And after, I told him I didn’t want to see him again. I stopped messaging, I blocked him, and I thought he got the point but then he shows up at my apartment and…” You took a breath, “ He had a gun. He took it out, he pointed it at me, and then he made me go with him and…” Your eyes were glossy as you thought of what happened next; of what Peter had done. “He wouldn’t let me go until…” You shuddered. You couldn’t say it. “He just kept me there for hours.”

“But he did end up letting you go?”

“Yeah but… not right away. I didn’t even wanna go with him. And… he had a gun.” You repeated. “Don’t you understand?”

“So, you went on a date with a guy and you're having second thoughts?” He asked.

“No, he won’t leave me alone,” you insisted.

“Alright, well, I got all this down. We’ll process the report and if he comes around again you let us know and we can add an addendum.”

“A report? What am I gonna do with a piece of paper?”

“These things are complicated, ma’am. You see, we need to document a pattern of predatory and harassing behaviour before we can apply for any sort of order against him.” He held out his hands. “All you can do is keep a log of everything he does here on out.”

“So what, I walk out of here and… he shows up again and…” You rubbed your chin. “There’s nothing else?”

He shook his head. He looked away and you felt like breaking something. 

“Is there someone else I can talk to? Someone higher up?” You hated how the question made you sound but you checked your phone and it was already close to four.

“Ma’am, we really don’t have the time to be--”

“So is that a no?” You interrupted.

He stopped and took a breath. He stood and smoothed out his shirt across his stomach. He was short and chubby and at a glance, you would say he looked friendly. He was anything but as his face fell and he stomped away with a grumble.

He returned shortly after and crossed his arms. “Come on. Captain says he’ll give you two minutes.”

You stood and followed him around the pen. He took you to an office separate from the rest and pointed you inside. You entered with a knock on the frame and a man with thinning dark curls looked up from the file on his desk. He stood as he welcomed you in with a gesture and waited until you sat to do the same.

The plate on his desk read Cpt. Hogan and the badge on his chest marked his rank.

“So,” he leaned back in his chair and took the stapled papers. “You have an admirer.”

You struggled not to roll your eyes. They weren’t taking you seriously. You clutched the wooden arms of the chair. “I have told this man to stay away from me and all he has done is threaten me with a gun and dragged me out of my home.”

“Physically?” He asked. “Like he physically forced you out?” He looked over the report.

“He had a gun, what was I supposed to do?”

“And you didn’t call us sooner…”

You shook your head. You stood and pulled your purse higher up on your shoulder. “Sorry for wasting your time.”

“Wait,” he said as you made to turn away. “Look, there isn’t much I can do beyond this report. It’s just the way it is. A lot of paperwork, not much action. But,” he stood and opened a drawer. “These are my details.” He grabbed a pen and scribbled on the back of the card. “That’s my personal number. You take that and you give me a call if you need me. I’ll look over this case myself.”

You took the card and stared at it. ‘Captain Harold Joseph Hogan’. You turned it in your hand and looked at him. “Thank you.” You said quietly.

“Hey, look, I know the city. It’s scary. There’s a lot of men you can’t trust. Shady characters.” He neared and followed you to the door. “Now, you take care of yourself and remember, you can call me.”

“Thank you, again.” You tucked the card in your pocket.

“Here, I’ll show you out,” he waited for you to walk through the door and tailed you. 

You passed Ned at the front counter dealing with a new citizen. Happy stepped around you and opened the front door for you. You stepped out with a smile and as you were about to thank the captain again, you tripped and caught yourself on the long door handle. Down by the curb was a familiar car and leaning against it, a familiar figure.

You looked at Captain Hogan. “That’s him.” You murmured.

“Happy,” Peter stood and took long strides towards the steps, “How are you, Captain?”

“Parker,” Hogan shook Peter’s hand and you bit your lip to keep it from trembling. “You know how it is. Not easy cleaning up the city.”

“No,” you sputtered, “This can’t--” You tried to sidestep Peter and Hogan latched onto your arm.

“Honey,” he lowered his voice, “I got you a ride home. Safer than the train.”

“Please,” you begged, “Please. How--”

“Now go on,” he let you go as Peter grabbed your other hand, “You got my number.”

Peter tugged on you until you stumbled down the steps. You looked back as Hogan stood by the precinct doors and watched with a smile. You were dragged to the car and the door opened, nearly hitting you. You flinched and look at the leather interior.

“Peter…” You breathed.

“Get in, princess,” he said firmly as he let go of your hand and jabbed your arm painfully. 

“Why are you doing this?” You asked.

“Because this is my city and I own everyone and everything in it.” He growled. “Now you get in the car so we can talk.”

Your eyes burned and your throat constricted. You sat and he slammed the door. He got in on the other side as you stared at the dashboard. He startled you as he snatched your phone and you tried to take it back. He slapped your hand away and tucked your cell into his jacket.

He reached over gruffly and buckled your seat belt. You reeled as he started the car and pulled out into traffic. You were shaking badly and could barely breath as your heartbeat thumped in your ears. You didn’t know where he was taking you; you’d never gone this way before.

He stopped in an alley. You could smell piss and old cigarettes. The seat belt snapped back as he hit the button and grabbed your arm. He turned you to him and you felt cold metal under your chin. The barrel of the gun prodded above your throat.

“I told you, princess, I don’t play games.” He snarled. “And I don’t give second chances. I rarely give warnings.”

“I’m...sorry,” you were frantic and your breath came so shallow you could barely speak. “Please.”

“I’ve been good to you. I only want to be good to you.” He bit out. “But you keep pushing and pushing and pushing.”

“It was a mistake.” You quivered. “I didn’t-- I’m afraid.”

“Mistake?” He repeated. “A mistake?”

He pressed the gun harder under your chin. You grasped his wrist as you stared into his dark eyes; dilated and dangerous. He shook his head and his jaw squared.

“Princess…” He muttered and squeezed.

You closed your eyes, ready for the end, but all that came was a click. He drew the gun away from your throat and sat back. He snickered and you fell against your seat. Your lashes fluttered and you watched him as he checked the chamber of his pistol. He tutted and felt around in his jacket. He loaded it and tucked it away.

“Looks like I make mistakes too,” he drawled, “But I don’t make them twice.” 

He smacked the steering wheel and his knuckles turned white as he curled his fingers. He started the car as you hugged yourself and withheld a sob.

“Do you get me now, princess?”

You nodded. Your eyes blurred with tears and you quickly swiped them away as he reversed out of the alleyway. “I get it.” You sniffed. “I get it.”

[emcon-imagines]

a real charmer

gif characters: Wanda Maximoff x reader  words: 1624 summary: you’ve tried your best to hide your feelings for Wanda, but when you’re assigned together on a mission, the butterflies become hard to ignore... and you’re pretty sure she knows it a/n: I couldn’t resist writing some fluff for Valentine’s Day adfhjdfhajkf I hope you all had a good one I love you all very much and also happy one year of this blog!

------------------------------

You hardly knew the day of the week, much less the date, each day of the mission blending into the next as you tried your best to adjust to the strange hours needed for surveillance, the late nights and the early morning wake up calls. 

“It’s busy out,” you remarked to Wanda as you walked back to the hotel room that night, each of you clutching a bag of take-out in your hands and trekking through the thin layer of snow on the sidewalk. Your exposed hands were growing numb out in the cold, even as you tried to tuck them into the sleeves of your coat and continue holding onto your food. I should have worn gloves like she said. “Where did all these people come from?”

“Probably because of the holiday,” Wanda said, glancing at one of the restaurants as a peal of laughter escaped from inside, a couple opening up the front door.

“Holiday?” It took you a moment, and you felt the heat rising into your cheeks as Wanda laughed, watching you think.

“Valentine’s Day?” she finally reminded you.

“Oh, right,” you said, shrugging and trying to conceal your embarrassment, somehow just talking about the day itself made you freeze up in a way you didn’t around the others. “Somehow I thought February just started. That whole week before this mission was a blur.” Everything felt so easy around her. It’s only because we’re teammates. We work well together. 

“This is us,” Wanda said, reaching out to grab you and steer you back to the door of the Airbnb, behind it a staircase that led to the studio apartment on the third floor. You had almost walked completely past it, the place hidden between a late-night café and a pub that had only just opened.

“I wonder how Steve and Nat are doing,” you said as you placed your food down to lock the door behind you before starting up the stairs. “They’re on watch tonight.”

“I’m dying for a full night of sleep,” Wanda said, ahead of you, ducking her head into her shoulder as she yawned and unlocked the upstairs door. “I’m just glad for that tonight.”

“I’ll probably stay up and listen in on the comms anyways.” You kicked your boots off on the mat inside and tugged off your coat, too tired to even hang it up and instead tossing it over one of the chairs. “Might be something interesting.”

“Uh-huh,” Wanda said, like she didn’t quite believe you. “One hour. One hour and you’ll be asleep.”

You sat down on the floor, back up against the bed and cracked open the plastic container of fried rice, before rummaging through the bag to pull out the two crab rangoons you had gotten on the side. Not even using a plate, you bit into one, savoring the fried goodness. “Sleep is for the weak. You know, as the strongest Avenger... shit.” You looked down at your shirt, where filling from the crab rangoon had fallen. “Shit.”

“You were saying?” Wanda asked, sitting down across from you, passing you a napkin before you even asked. She looked around the small Airbnb, taking it all  as she ate, looking out the window behind you, where the city lights appeared almost frozen in the chilled air outside. “Well... Happy Valentine’s Day,” she said, and as you dabbed at your shirt with the napkin, you realized that her eyes were on you.

“Oh, yeah,” you said, laughing. “What a way to spend it.”

“Rude,” she said, completely deadpan, causing you to look and see the twinkle in her eyes. “I’m kidding.”

“I meant the fact that we’re stuck on a mission!  Not because--”

“--you’re stuck here with me?” Wanda asked, clicking her tongue as she opened her water bottle and cocked her head with an easy smile. “Has anyone told you what a charmer you are, y/n?”

“All the time,” you said, pushing down the butterflies in your stomach, the way she was looking at you making you feel pinned down to the spot, unable to move. Lightheaded, even. “Yeah, had tons of dates lined up back in New York before this mission came up.”

“Mm. Sure.”

The conversation moved on and you relaxed again, back into the normal, joking persona you used to deflect any other feelings you may be having. You discussed the mission, movies that you loved, the tiny dog you saw on your way back to the apartment, Tony’s faux pas in the meeting the other week, the two of you laughing as you recalled Steve’s expressions and Tony’s attempted recovery.

You leaned your head against the bed, wiping a tear from the corner of your eye as you tried to stop laughing and throw away the trash from your dinner, collecting Wanda’s as well and washing out the containers at the sink. “If they ever crack time travel, that’s the first place I’m going,” you said. “February 6th, 2016. Noon. The Avengers Compound. The conference room. Just to see that play out one more time.”

Wanda sat down on the bed, and even though you had shared a bed before (as teammates, we’re teammates) something felt different as she turned on the television and flipped through the channels while you finished washing up. You paused in the kitchen alcove, away in the dark, biting your lip as you stared down at the floor. It’s all in your head. Just act normal. You’re friends. Teammates. Nothing’s changed.

With an quiet sigh, you returned to the main area and changed into more comfortable clothes before opening up your laptop on the desk and tuning into Natasha and Steve’s comms. Avoidance. That’s what you did, that’s what you always did. You looked out the window as Wanda got changed for bed, the comms silent and the TV chattering quietly in the background, the lights going out one by one until the room was only illuminated by the television and your screen. You rubbed your tired eyes with your thumb and index finger and looked back at the bed to see Wanda watching you.

“Hi,” you said, though it came out more like a question.

“Hey,” she said, and the butterflies started again as time seemed to stop entirely. She lifted up the corner of the comforter, inviting you in. “I know you’re tired. I’m sure Steve and Natasha can handle whatever comes up just fine.” You looked back at the laptop, and just as you did so, it close with a click, red energy dissipating around you. Wanda laughed, and you glanced over at her shyly, more shy than you had even been in your life.

“I’ll rest, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep,” you mumbled, staring at the floor as you walked over to her and climbed in. “Why do I feel like this is a trap?”

“Probably because it is,” she replied, wrapping her arm around you and turning you to face her, Wanda’s hair tickling the side of your face as your breath hitched in your throat.

“Oh. Hi,” you said again, laughing, not sure what else to say, your brain completely shutting down. “Did you... did you read my mind earlier?” you murmured, lifting your head up.

“With you, I don’t have to,” Wanda said. “You’re not exactly subtle.” She smiled a little. “Even though I know you try very hard to be.”  Her green eyes were wide, as if she had just asked a question and was waiting for an answer.

It only took you a second to answer, you closing the gap between the two of you as you kissed her, feeling her widening smile against your lips as she kissed you back, placing her hand on the side of your face, your cheek warm and tingly just from her touch.

Her kisses were slow, tender, as if you two had all the time in the world, tucked away on that snowy February night. When the two of you separated, both of you started giggling again, her laying back on her pillow and pulling you down with her, hand just below your ribcage and you curled up next to her. Her thumb rubbed gently near your lowest rib, back and forth, back and forth.

“I’m... not to change the subject like this,” she said, “but what the hell is that?” she said gesturing at the television, where some extreme lifestyle show was playing out, sending you two into another fit of laughter, the absurd late night program only adding to the strangeness of it all. 

“You put it on!” you exclaimed, your head tucked just below her chin, her laughter coming from her chest and resonating in your head.

“Honestly? I wasn’t really paying attention.”

“Well, don’t turn it off,” you said, yawning and shutting your eyes. “This is... absolutely riveting.”

“Thought you said you weren’t going to sleep,” Wanda teased, her hand combing through your hair as she placed another kiss to your forehead, causing your cheeks to flush again. 

“Well, you trapped me, so I guess I have no choice,” you joked drowsily. “Guess I’ll have to sleep.” You opened your eyes, tilting your head to look up at her. “Um... Happy Valentine’s Day.” There was so much more you wanted to tell her, but for now it was all you could muster. “I’m glad I’m spending it with you.”

“Me too.”

[infernal-fire]

five types of love.

what to expect: smut, swearing, friends w/ benefits arrangement, mention of Imposter syndrome, fluff, angst, heartbreak, overstimulation, implied creampie, rough sex

a/n: a little warning; you will be choosing your ending - there is a happy one and a sad one. a huge shoutout to @mollygetssherlockcoffee​ and @angrybirdcr​ for talking to me about the fic and offering such amazing advice! and @tuiccim​ was so damn lovely, even offered to beta this (though all mistakes are my own).

summary: you once heard that there were eight types of love. you only knew of five; the five that caused you to fall for one, blue-eyed menace.

Ludus: uncommitted, casual love that can attribute to a flirtatious and fun conquest. Not to be mistaken for Eros.

“I think we’re forgetting the reason why the mission failed in the first place. If the older fellow took a suggestion once in a-”

“-Tony, you know damn well that there were civilians in there.”

Steve and Tony glared at each other from across the briefing room. The tension in the room was exorbitant, but then again, it had been that way since Bucky joined the team. 

“This is exactly why we need the new girl. You super-soldiers and billionaires are getting tangled up in each others’ asses and forgetting about what it’s like for the normal people,” Rhodey sighed.

“The last thing we need is another trainee fucking up orders,” Tony snorted and began messing with his tech. The projector flipped through random screens, FRIDAY most likely filtering out the irrelevant news. 

“If you have a problem, maybe you should say it to his face,” Steve seethed, now standing up to match Tony’s stance. Usually, this type of jab at Bucky wouldn’t rile him up, but the super-soldier was at his wit’s end following the events of the latest mission.

Beside him, Bucky lightly tugged on his friend’s hand, signalling him to disengage.

“You’re with them?” Tony incredulously questioned Rhodey. 

“I’m with the idea of calming this room down.”

“Besides, she’s already been prepped for her first mission,” Natasha piped up. “We’re supposed to have a sit-down in 5 minutes... that is, if you boys can get your shit together.”

The room broke out into a chorus of muttering and everyone settled in their seats again. Captain strode to the front of the room and pulled up his game plan, fiddling with the map FRIDAY was projecting. 

You, on the other hand, could not decide how to act in front of the Avengers: Laidback? They wouldn’t take you seriously. Know-it-all? No, that was Stark’s play. Timid Tiffany? If you wanted to seem secretly conceited? Sure. That would work for now.

When Vision floated out to bring you in, you didn’t even flinch at the unforeseen phasing. Impressed at your lack of a reaction, Vision faltered before ever-so-courteously introducing himself. 

Could this sentient being laugh of his own volition? You gave him your name and dramatically curtsied to test your theory; he could laugh, and you were pleasantly surprised to find that it was not at all robotic. 

You felt the room intently eye you as you ambled to your seat beside one, blue-eyed menace. You half-expected the team to introduce themselves, but who were you kidding - anyone could hear the argument from three corridors away. There was no point in pretending like they wanted you here, but that wouldn’t deter you.

You glanced at your neighbour, met with the pleasant face of the one and only. James Buchanan Barnes was known to be a handsome devil, but the reputation of the Winter Soldier often precedes him; that, unfortunately, does not stop you from eyeing him. 

When he caught your stare, you scolded yourself. You’re such a creep. 

When he smirked at your ogling, you praised yourself. Oh, hello there. 

This is gonna be fun.

Eros: sexual, passionate love that is fueled by lust.

It didn’t happen after the first mission; he had the decency to wait until the fourth mission to knock on your door. 

You had been putting away the last of your belongings, finally adjusting to the grandiose living conditions the Avengers Tower provided.

As soon as you unlocked your knob, the door flung open; Bucky's stare was partially inhibited by his hooded eyes. He hadn’t always looked at you like that. 

Like what?

With unadulterated craving. 

That day, he strode in like he owned the place. You didn’t expect the shove that caused you to land on your bed with an oomph. Bucky wasted no time, climbing onto your form, straddling you. By the time you understood what was happening, a single finger was pressed into your lips.

“Either tell me you don’t want this right fucking now,” he leaned in, close to your face, “or shut the fuck up and let me use you.”

You whimpered in response.

“Not good enough.”

“Use me.”

That’s all the affirmation he needed. 

You pushed off the bed to try and meet his lips but he firmly pinned you down by your shoulders. Bucky reached into your panties and circled your clit without hesitation. It only took some swivelling, his intense gaze and the unexpected plunge of his fingers in your channel to make you see stars. Bucky had made you come before kissing you.

When he finally slotted his lips against yours, it was nothing short of all-consuming; you hadn’t even realized the absence of clothes on your body. Had it been ten minutes? Or thirty? It was hard to tell when you were being ravaged by another.

He made you come twice more: once with his fingers’ repeated dipping and pressing into the soft, spongy part of your cunt. The second time was with the talented sucking and flicking of his tongue. Technically, it was the third time.

None of your past partners had been this steadfast in their duty to pleasure you. You were already putty in his hands, ready to be moulded according to his needs. Part of you was ready to tap out, unable to fathom the likelihood of coming over his cock again, but the better half of you needed it.

In your orgasmic haze, you failed to notice that his clothes were being discarded - if you did, it would have given you the opportunity to gawk at the body that you so desperately wanted to see shirtless. When you finally registered his naked person, your hand involuntarily traced the connection between the metal arm and flesh. He threw his head back and groaned before kissing you again. 

He pulled off, just enough to get a good look. 

“Look at you, all fucked out. I didn’t even put my cock in.”

He pumped his shaft with fervour before pushing the blunt head against your slit. You winced at his attempt to put it in.

“Made you cum three times and you’re still too fucking tight,” he muttered and ran his length up and down your folds. Once he had accumulated enough slick he tried again, this time, successful.

You moaned as he slowly sunk in and buried his cock to its absolute limit. If the walls of your pussy had a voice, it would be absolutely hoarse. You also realized that he only bestowed the three orgasms in hopes of reprieving the pain of the stretch. Without the preparation, he might have torn you in half.

When he began moving, the only thing that was slow or soft about him was his lips against your skin. The thrusts were punishing; if it wasn’t obvious that he was angry before, this made it clear as day.

You screamed and moaned, alternating between keening and arching your back; the pleas did nothing to falter his furious pace. The smacking of your skin was only heightened by the slick that your cunt produced in attempts to accommodate his length. Every time he pulled out, his balls were connected to your sex with a string of come.

If someone told you that you could come five times within forty minutes, you would have face painted and dressed them up like a clown.

Now you laid in bed, being used like a rag doll, begging Bucky to stop you from coming a sixth time that session. It was usually the dirty talk that got you off, but he hadn’t said anything aside from the occasional ‘shut up’ or ‘shhh’. His movements alone had you convulsing around his length.

His thrusts didn’t get sloppy. Rather, they increased in force, as his cock sought space beyond your cervix. You tried to scream, but all that came out was more broken tears and cries. At last, he let out a pornographic moan as his load flooded your insides. Sure, you had let past boyfriends come in you, but you never actually felt the liquid shoot up inside you, until today.

Following the pop sound that his cock made as it pulled out, you whined again. You could feel your heartbeat throb down there. 

He flipped you onto your stomach and smacked your ass, laughing at the way you sobbed in pain before disappearing from your room altogether. 

He was gone as fast as he showed up. 

And he ruined everyone else for you.

In all fairness... you asked for it.

Philia: the deep, virtuous love that is formed in a good friendship. Lovers share a strong bond when Eros and Philia feed into each other.

What started as a release from the frustrations that accrue on the battlefield turned into a deep connection that neither of you had anticipated. Sex had only been used as a tool in the act of psychological detachment until that day. 

It was a failed date of some sort: either you had been stood up or the guy was a total moron. You could wrack your brain for the memory, but in any matter, it was all irrelevant now. 

You were upset, not just at your lack of a love life, but at the imposter syndrome that had weaselled its way into your liveliness. Feeling like you weren’t enough was catching up to your daily life and even Bucky had noticed the hesitation during your post-mission escapades. 

Before you knew it, your hand was knocking on Bucky’s door at the ripe hour of 1 AM. 

You heard the muffled thumps of his footsteps and considered booking it out of there, but before you made up your mind, the door opened.  As you had predicted, Bucky was wide-awake. 

“What?” 

You had wanted to sass him for his tone but decided against it since you were the one who interrupted his 1 AM activities. You shook your head from the clouds and mumbled incoherently, starting to walk away. The coldness of his metal arm abruptly gripped your wrist.

“Are you okay?”

You hated that question. You could be doing so good, holding in the burden of a horrible week, but the moment someone asks you that question, the dam would disintegrate into dust, only to be washed away by the inevitable waterworks. 

The sob you let out didn’t loosen his hold. He let you cry and watched as you tried to wipe away the unrelenting tears, still refusing to close the gap between your bodies. Finally, you shuffled into his arms where he bear-hugged you, cupping the back of your neck and holding it to the junction of his neck. 

"You smell nice,” you sniffled. 

He lightly chuckled before dragging you into his room and seating you on the bed. He ordered you to stay there and rummaged around his cupboard before pulling out a bottle with red liquid sloshing around. 

“You keep that in your room?” you snickered, wiping your nose with the back of your hand, before blanching at your state. Hell, he had seen you naked, how you look right now is the least of your concerns. 

“In case of emergencies,” he winked. “This seems like a real emergency.”

A fresh wave of tears pooled in your waterline as you peered at your hands that were picking at each other. 

“I don’t have wine glasses, so we can just chug.”

Bucky stuck out the bottle and you grasped it firmly before gulping one-fourth of it. That’s all the coaxing it took to get you to spill. 

You don’t even remember what you talked about, but before either of you realized, 3 AM blinked on the digital clock that hung above the bed frame. You were almost asleep, now resting on Bucky’s lap while he occasionally hummed or offered his two cents. Right before you drifted off, the super-soldier lifted you, placing you under a cover. He climbed in from the other side, one hand cupping your face, the other snaking around your waist.

“Thanks, Buck.”

“It’s gonna be okay. You’re okay,” he whispered.

Your eyes drooped but swiftly opened as Bucky leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. His lips barely touched yours, grazing their presence, but you moved, tenderly catching them. He returned the movement, the delicacy of his actions reflected in the softness of his eyes. 

You pulled away and the two of you wordlessly bore into each other’s eyes. At last, you succumbed to the fatigue, as did he; both of you resting in the others’ possession. 

Mania: an unhealthy, obsessive love that plagues the mind.

It was the third time Bucky didn’t show up at your door after a mission. Three missions, each of them ending in something that would have indubitably pissed him off - after all, they were HYDRA bases. That’s when you first suspected it.

The second was when you noted his intentional avoidance of your presence. Whether it be the kitchen, the gym or the hallways, the stealthy ex-assassin didn’t have trouble actively dodging you. Initially, you chalked it up to wanting space or simply taking a break.

Then you heard it.

Why was it that your gut told you to go right then? All this time you had been biding, yet it was at this precise moment that your hunch asked you to speak to him. It could’ve been the duration of the month that it took you to prepare yourself, but it had to be now. You raised your hand, prepping to knock on the door, but stopped.

Your hand froze mid-air. The elegant laugh of another girl sounded behind the door. It was faint, the noise slightly suppressed by the wall between you. 

It could be anyone. 

But it wasn’t. Your intuition, the one that told you to come here right now, was wise enough to know that this wasn’t just anyone. It was her. 

You cupped your mouth to stop the sob that threatened to liberate itself from the confines of your constricted airway. You fell forward, onto your knees, as if to pray to the gods to not let it happen. But it already did.  You let go of your mouth, gasping for air from holding your breath all this time. 

Shoulders sagged and spine bent, you stalked back to your room like a zombie. Face devoid of all emotion, you fell onto the corner of your bed and crumpled into a ball.  For twelve hours, you laid there. Sometimes sleeping, other times letting the tears leak out of the corners of your eyes. Memories of his fingers weaving through your own, the pleasures that chilled you to the bone. Most of all, the way you held his head to your chest as he whimpered about the nightmares that invaded his nights. It felt like those things happened to someone else. Nothing more than a distant memory.

Your heart clenched, tugging on the heartstring that you once thought was connected to him.

-

It was as if he knew you stood outside his door that day. There was an unspoken agreement to never speak of it. Yes, yes, don’t ever speak of it. The dam that you built so carefully will come crashing down.  He stopped avoiding you, but you wished he didn’t; it was crueller to be reminded, easier to pretend he didn’t exist. 

Be honest with yourself.

You didn’t pretend like he didn’t exist. 

In fact, the first thought after waking up? Bucky. Last thought before going to sleep? My Buck. Every time he wasn’t around? James Buchanan Barnes.

Please, don’t act like every waking moment isn’t spent loving him. Because deep down, you know what’s true.

He never did introduce the mystery girl to anyone at the Tower, but you knew his disappearance after missions could be credited to her. Did he take out his anger on her as he did to you? Or were you nothing more than a toy?

Guilt was one of the few emotions you could make out from the rare occasions you caught his stare. Longing was there too, but you couldn’t be sure that you weren’t projecting.  Months went by, waiting for thoughts of him to abandon your disturbed mind. The time never came.

As promised, he ruined anyone else for you. 

Pragma: the type of love that endures all shortcomings. Committed relationships that stay in love have an element of significant Pragma to them.

a happy ending.

That relationship may have ended but it didn’t mean he would come back to you.

He did come back. But he wasn’t yours.  Bucky made that clear when two more relationships ensued the last. Each time, the buffer period between them was filled by you. 

His back-up plan. That’s what you had been reduced to. 

After the third time he brought a new girl, you’d think you would be used to it, maybe even uncaring. Unfortunately, the opposite would always prevail.

Steve caught your fist and tutted, commenting on the bad form. You stopped, shook your shoulders and began hopping on the balls of your feet again.  Jab, jab. Swing.  At first, you’d imagine the faces of those girls. Nowadays, it was easier to envision the pads Steve held as his best friend’s face. 

“Bucky’s girl broke up with him.”

“Oh,” you made out, focus slightly wavering. 

“You know what happened?”

“Are you asking me ‘cause you wanna know or because you already know?”

“I already know,” he sighed, lowering the hand pads. 

He exhaled your name, shaking his and rubbing the bridge of his nose. “When are you two gonna stop playing around?”

“I really don’t understand, Steve.”

“You know why she broke up with him?” You blinked, tongue poking the inside of your cheek in anticipation of an answer. 

“He moaned your name during sex.” 

“God, that’s so corny,” you huffed, now beginning to make your way out of the boxing ring. 

“So what, you’re gonna do nothing? Keep letting him use you?” Steve jogged to catch up to you.

“No,” you faced him, “I’m not letting him use me as a fallback anymore. I’m putting an end to it.” 

Steve pursed his lips and shot you and exasperated look before shaking his head.  “Don’t let something good go to waste.”

It used to be something good.

You wondered if you could hold up the promise you had just declared to Steve; in the past, you failed every time he showed up at your door. Bucky knew exactly how to play into your emotions, how to say the right things every time. And just like that, the next morning you’d end up in his arms. That stops today.

Determined, you practically punched the button to go up on the elevator and impatiently tapped your foot. As the doors slid closed, you took one look at yourself and turned away, fighting the urge to fix your appearance for him. The doors opened again and you check the floor number, ready to step out, but stopped at the sound of your name.  His ex. You almost ran off, unwilling to put up with an angry ex, but she called on you again. You sheepishly stood there, as if you were the one who did something wrong, until she stepped in and pressed the button to go to the lobby.

The silence stretched on, much like your patience. Does she even know who you are?

“We were both fooling ourselves.”

You turn to check if she was speaking to you. Her stare was unwavering and she maintained eye contact that almost made you squirm.

“We both love different people.” She smiled, an obvious melancholy tainting her face. You stood there, absolutely clueless as to how you should respond.

“It’s too late for me, but it’s not for the two of you. Just... don’t let him go. He’s one of the good ones.”

You turned again, now looking down at the ground. Even if she expected you to say something back, it was impossible, at this point. Your mind was in shambles, everything she said contradicting the choice you made five minutes ago. 

After what seemed like an eternity, the doors opened and she stepped out. She turned one last time and nodded as if you knew what to do now. 

Bucky’s door was unlocked. You called out his name, barely above a whisper and sauntered with hesitation lining your every step.  Nothing. Empty. He wasn’t there. 

It was a sign. You almost ignored the advice his ex gave, ready to walk into his room and end things. Your shoulder slumped as if your bore the weight of the world on them as you slunk back to your room. Now it would take another outburst or another month to prepare yourself to talk to him again.

As the days went by, you barely saw him around. It reminded you of the times he intentionally ignored you, except this time, you weren’t sure it was intentional. When you did see him, it was clear that he wasn’t doing good; his beard was unkept and scraggly, the bags under his eyes heavier than any trauma he carried. You pretended as though you didn’t notice and went about your routine. 

1 AM

A knock sounded at your door. You knew who it was, how could you not, but hoped it wasn’t him anyway. The encounter would most likely end with tears or sex and you didn’t favour either outcome. 

You waited a minute. Maybe he would leave if he assumed you were asleep. The knock sounded again.

You cracked the door open.  Whatever you were expecting, surely, it wasn’t this. Eyes red and puffy, it was clear he had been crying and most definitely not sleeping. 

He held up a wine bottle, and chuckled pathetically at himself. 

“Maybe this is bad idea,” he sniffled and wiped his nose with the sleeve of his left arm. 

It didn’t feel right to say anything. Rather, you opened the door wider and beckoned for him to step in.

“Emergency?” you asked with a little smile. God, you were so close to crying and he hasn’t even said anything.

“Oh yeah. Big emergency.”

He sat on your bed and felt the sheets, trying to remember the feeling of it on his knees. The days he would buck into you while you clutched them like a vice. The soldier pursed his lips and watched as you settled beside him.

“You don’t have to talk... if you don’t want to,” you said. Your voice cracked and you almost smacked yourself for being so weak around him. 

“But I do. I should talk. I have so much to say... Can I explain?” He turned to face you, reaching out for your hands, holding them in his own. You didn’t say anything, opting to return his request with a pleading look in your eyes. He knew what the look meant: just don’t break my heart. Again. He took a deep breath in acknowledgement, trying to form the words that would help you understand. 

“I can’t believe I hurt you. I swear, I didn’t know I was doing it, at first.” You mustered your best unbelieving look, almost scoffing for good measure. “No, really,” he hastily added. 

A few tears streamed down your face and you frantically tried to wipe them. Bucky took one look at you before he began breaking down, tears slipping down his face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to cry... I just- I don’t understand? I thought things were good?” you questioned. You had given up on trying to wipe your tears, as did he.

“I wasn’t supposed to fall for you. And by the time I realized, we were so far in. Then I found a distraction... and I really thought I was over you,” he paused, wondering if he should continue or not. You showed no sign of speaking up, so he went on.

“I didn’t think you cared. I didn’t think you felt the same way. I was so convinced that you wouldn’t blink twice but then... but, I-... I heard you at the door that day. I wanted to kick her out and hold you, but I-...”

“But you what? You what, Bucky?”

“I thought it was too late for us. I thought I ruined everything.”

“Then why are you here now?”

“Don’t be mad,” he murmured, retracting his hands and fiddling with his fingers.

“I don’t think anyone can ever replace what we had. Maybe... still have? Because you’re it for me. I’m sorry it took me this long to realize that. I was on the brink of losing myself.” He looked up at you, eyes brimming with a new wave of tears. He mumbled your name weakly, croaking out a please at the end.

You curled in on yourself and fell into his arms, hoping that was enough of a answer.

“I can’t promise you that everything will be back to normal by tomorrow morning... but with some time, I can learn to trust you again.”

Above you, Bucky hurriedly nodded. At the state he’s in right now, you suspected that you could ask him to sell his soul and he would agree.

“And if you ever break my heart again-,” 

“-I would die before that happens,” he finished for you, kissing the top of your head for good measure.

“I love you,” you whimpered, “so fucking much.” 

“I love you too. I really love you too,” he affirmed and encased you with his arms again.

Though there had been some rough patches on the road to happiness, with Bucky by your side, you felt as though you could make it through anything; for that, is the power of pragmatic love.

an unfortunate ending.

The tears that would’ve been shed during the ceremony have dried on your pillowcase about five hours ago. Now, you sat beside the team, waiting for her to walk down the aisle. 

Bucky looked nervous, as if he were reconsidering his life decisions. The little devil on your shoulder was holding onto every little thing he did: the wrinkle of his forehead, his repeated tugging on the suit and his flustered glancing around. Oh lord, and when he accidentally locked eyes with you? You may have bitten your lip and looked away in contempt but the shoulder-devil was as persistent as ever.

He secretly still wants you.

Shut up.

He wants to call it off.

Get a life.

At last, the lucky girl stood at the end of the winding path and you couldn’t help but sneak a look at the groom. His tension and nervousness crumbled at the sight of her; it was difficult not to feel happy that he had found the one that made him feel this way. 

It may have been him for you, but that notion was long forgotten, a nuisance of memory at most. Your love for him, regardless of the storms it has endured, is no longer respected or wanted by either party.

If he loves her, why does he come to you when things get bad?

You shook your head at that, having no answer for the nature of his secret infidelity. It was nothing more than taking out his frustrations on you - much like the old days.

Your reminiscing was cut short when a voice asked everyone to rise for the bride. You stood and straightened out your outfit, flicking off the little white petal that clung to your maroon dress. A hand grasped your own, and you turned to see Steve smile reassuringly. You squeeze his hand in appreciation and turned your attention to the white-clad figure walking down the aisle.

And that’s all you remember. You wish you could recall the rest of the wedding. You really do. Too preoccupied with what was going to happen after the event, you disassociated from the ordeal altogether. No matter how hard you grilled yourself, nothing would come to mind - dissociative amnesia only occurs as a protective coping mechanism during traumatic events; was that what Bucky’s wedding was to you?

What type of question is that?

For once, you agreed with the little red beast that sat on your shoulder. Long ago, the first time you saw someone else Bucky’s arms, the devil pierced the pitchfork right through the angel’s heart. These days, it was all you could think of. 

After the bride and groom exchanged ‘I do’s’, you willed yourself to stay a while longer. Your only companion, Steve, slow danced with you in silence, knowing that whatever he says would be of no consolation. Bucky did have half a mind to ask you for a dance, but he saw you leave. You didn’t think anyone did. He waited for you to turn and look at him one last time, but you never did. It’s okay, he thought. I didn’t deserve her anyway.

No one saw you after that.

On your bed, Steve found a single note that didn’t explain anything more than what he already knew. If anything, it simply affirmed that you were gone for good. Your things packed up, no trace of a person ever having lived there. Even if he pulled some strings, it would take years to find you again. 

After all, you had already been lost for quite some time.

hey folks. i know this seems a little desperate-sounding but i would really appreciate reblogs and would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on the story. what was you favourite part? which part made you feel some way? i really love knowing these things. love each and every single one of you.

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[just-dreaming-marvel]

It’s Always Been You ~ 147

OUT OF TIME MASTERLIST

IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 2,320ish

Summary: The final battle begins....

Notes: You must read Out Of Time in order to understand this. The chapter numbers continue from Out Of Time.

Y/N was lost in the midst of the chaos. Her unconscious body getting caught in one of the lower levels of the rubble. Tony was up first, searching for Y/N. He found the shield and Steve instead.

“Come on, buddy,” Tony urged, kneeling beside his brother-in-law. “Wake up.” Steve groaned, coming to. “That’s my man.” Tony held the shield up. “You lose this again, I’m keeping it.”

“What happened?” Steve asked.

“You messed with time. It tends to mess back. You’ll see.” Tony helped Steve to his feet.

“Where’s Y/N?”

“I was hoping she was with you. FRIDAY?”

“I am searching for her location, boss” FRIDAY responded.

“Please tell me that she’s alive."

“She has to be,” Steve said. “The Stones won’t allow anything to happen to her.”

“I’ve located Mrs. Stark,” FRIDAY announced. “She’s underneath the rubble.”

“Great, where?” Tony pressed.

“Tony,” Steve said, “maybe we need to deal with—“

“Deal with what?! Your sister—my wife is down there in who knows what kind of condition! We—I need to get to her!”

“Boss,” FRIDAY interrupted, “I don’t know if Y/N would see that as the best idea.”

“What?! Why are you choosing now to talk back, FRIDAY?”

“Because Thanos is here. Thor is currently watching him not too far from where you are.” Steve and Tony made eye contact.

“Y/N can protect herself,” Steve told his worried friend. “The she’ll be fine because the Stones need her.”

Tony nodded and the two walked out of the rubble they were in. They found Thor intensely watching Thanos, who was sitting on something not too far off.

“What’s he been doing?” Tony asked. 

“Absolutely nothing,” Thor answered.

“Where are the Stones?” Steve questioned.

“Probably somewhere under all this,” Tony responded. “FRIDAY’s looking. All I know is he doesn’t have them.”

“So we keep it that way.”

“You know it’s a trap, right?” Thor said.

“Yeah,” Tony agreed. “And I don’t much care.”

“Good. Just as long we are all in agreement.” Thor stretched out both hands as thunder cracked. He summoned both Stormbreaker and Mjolnir, which he had stolen during the time heist. HIs casual clothes transformed into his armor and cape, with his beard forming into a braid. “Let’s kill him properly this time.”

The three walked down the rubble towards Thanos. All of them were very serious and ready to end this once and for all.

“You could not live with your own failure. And where did that bring you? Back to me,” Thanos stated, as the three heroes slowly moved to surround him. “I thought by eliminating half of life, the other half would thrive. But you’ve shown me that’s impossible. And as long as there are those that remember what was, there will always be those that are unable to accept what can be. They will resist.”

“Yep. We’re all kinds of stubborn,” Tony replied.

“I'm thankful. Because now, I know what I must do.” Thanos stood. “I will shred this universe down to its last atom.” He placed his helmet on his head. "And then– With the stones you've collected for me, create a new one. Teeming with life, but knows not what it has lost but only what it has been given.” Thor began crackling with lightning. “A grateful universe.”

“Born out of blood,” Steve said.

“They'll never know it. Because you won't be alive to tell them.”

And the fighting began.

~~~

Y/N groaned as she came to. Her head was pounding, it had obviously been hit during the chaos. She was breathing heavily as she took in her surroundings. There was a large metal beam trapping her against broken concrete.

“Hello!” She called out. “Is anyone there?” 

No response. And she instantly regretted not putting a comms device in her ear. Y/N grunted as she tried to push the beam off of her, failing. Looking up, she studied the rubble barely hanging on above her. She needed to be careful or it was going to completely crush her.

“Use us,” a rough voice whispered to her in her head. “Use us.”

“It has always taken a lot from me to control you,” Y/N responded, aloud. “How am I suppose to do what I have to if I’m weak?”

“You’ll be fine.” 

“What the hell am I even supposed to do anyway?”

“When the time comes, you will know.”

“You guys are incredibly unhelpful, you know?” She groaned as she tried to wiggle herself free again, without help from the Stones.

“You are wasting time.”

“Fine!” Y/N huffed. 

She closed her eyes and tried to focus on the Stones.

~~~

“Okay, Thor! Hit me!” Tony exclaimed, the back of his suit opening up.

Thor banged his 2 weapons together, each loaded with lightning, and aimed them at the back of Tony’s suit. The Iron Man suit sucked up the energy and he shot it out at Thanos using his hands and body. Thanos twirled his blade really fast to divert the energy. Thor grabbed Stormbreaker and used it to bat Mjolnir to hit Thanos. Thanos used Tony as a shield, knocking him out and away.

“Boss, wake up!” FRIDAY pled.

Steve tried to attack Thanos but was easily shielded away. Thor’s attack was quickly blocked by Thanos’ sword. Thanos grabbed onto Thor and lifts him up by the neck, choking him, before slamming him down and punching him. Mjolnir is flicked away as Thanos relentlessly beats up Thor, throwing him into a tree and socking him before throwing Thor over rubble and socking him again. Thor tried to grab Stormbreaker but Thanos grabbed it and used it against Thor. 

Form not too far off, Mjolnir began to float off the ground. Thanos was digging Stormbreaker into Thor, when suddenly Mjolnir flies into Thanos. It zoomed past, stopped, and then flew back the way it came. Both Thanos and Thor looked back in amazement as Steve wields the hammer.

“I knew it!” Thor said.

Frustrated, Thanos kicked Thor to the ground. Steve charged at the Titan, swinging Mjolnir, and hitting him in the face, knocking him down. Steve threw his shield and Thanos deflected. Steve threw Mjolnir to his shield, creating a shockwave and knocking Thanos off his feet. 

Steve then threw his shield at Thanos, quickly hitting it back at the Titan again with Mjolnir. He lined his arm up with Thanos to channel lightning his way. 

Thanos eventually got the upper hand, removing his helmet. He stabbed Steve’s leg and knocked Mjolnir out of the Captain’s hand. Thanos proceeded to destroy Steve’s shield with his double-bladed Soward and threw him across the battlefield. Steve staggeredly tried to get up.

“In all my years of conquest, violence, slaughter,” Thanos said, “it was never personal. But I’ll tell you now, what I’m about to do to your stubborn, annoying little planet—I’m gonna enjoy it. Very, very much.”

The entirety of Thanos’ army was then summoned to the ground. Upon seeing the army descending onto Earth, Steve slowly got back to his feet. With a fierce determination, he tightened his broken shield to his arm and stood against the army. Alone. Suddenly, a crackling came in on his comm.

“Hey, Cap, you read me?” 

Steve stopped and looked around.

“Cap, it’s Sam. Can you hear me?”

A portal began to form behind the Captain.

“On your left.”

Steve looked behind to see the portal on his left side. Three figures stepped through; Okoye, Shuri, and T’Challa, all ready to fight. Sam then zoomed in from above. As he did, dozens of more portals opened up all around the battlefield. Through one of the portals, Doctor Strange appeared, joined by Drax, Mantis, Star Lord, and Spider-Man. Everyone on the battlefield watched in confusion and awe as more and more heroes arrive through the portals from all the corners of the universe. 

Giant-Man (Scott) appeared out of the rubble with Rhodey, Bruce, and Rocket. Every one was lining up behind the Captain, all the teams and armies that Strange and the other sorcerers brought in to help. Tony was sitting up, finally coming around from the hit on his head. Suddenly, the ground in front of him began to tremble and crack. He pushed himself back as something blasted through it and into the sky. Upon closer inspection, he realized it was his wife.

Y/N was glowing with the power of the Stones. Each of the colors were circling around her, all six colors clearly defined. She slowly set herself down in front of Tony, the power fading away as she rushed to him.

“Tony! Are you okay?” She worried as she helped him to his feet.

“Am I okay?” He questioned. “You just shot up from the ground. You were glowing!”

“I’m okay. I’m ready to finish this. Once and for all.”

Tony pulled her in for a desperate kiss. Like he was terrified it would be their last. Y/N quickly reciprocated the desperation.

“I love you,” Tony breathed out as he pulled away.

“I love you too,” she responded.

They turned to join the group of heroes. Tony suited all the way up, while Y/N began to channel the Stones.

“AVENGERS!” Steve shouted, everyone gearing up as she summoned Mjolnir. “Assemble.”

Thor made a battle cry, as did T’Challa, and the heroes charged towards the opposing army. Thanos raised his sword towards the Avengers, signaling his army to charge as well. As the two armies collided, everyone short of paired up. Tony and Y/N were working together, keeping each other safe. Steve and Thor were doing the same thing, both switching off weapons. Steve had Stormbreaker in his hand while Thor had Mjolnir.

“No, no, give me that,” Thor said, tossing Mjolnir to Steve and signaling for Stormbreaker. “You have the little one.”

Steve passed Stormbreaker over and the two nodded to each other before running back into the battle. Y/N and Tony had gotten separated. Y/N could sense the Stones and knew she needed to get to them before Thanos did. It seemed that Thanos and his army knew that and were sending their biggest creatures to slow her down. 

Despite her trying, Y/N was thrown down, plowing through the ground. She was panting, and groaning in pain. The creature stalked towards her as she tried to get back up. It raised its claws above its head and was just about to ship down on Y/N when someone stepped in-between her and the creature and killed it. Y/N inhaled sharply, still slightly panting, as she took in her hero. Bucky had turned, looking down at her with those eyes she had fallen in love with. But it wasn’t the same anymore. Y/N now knew that she was over him, though he would always have a place in her heart.

“Bucky,” she breathed out.

“Hey, doll,” he smiled softly, helping her off the ground.

“Bucky.”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Bucky.” She practically jumped on him, hugging him tightly. He held her close. “We did it… you’re back.”

“I’m back. Though it’s been mere seconds for me.”

Y/N pulled away. The two studied each other’s faces. Y/N was trying to figure out how to say what she needed to. Bucky was studying her, knowing what she needed to say.

“It’s okay,” he whispered. “I kept you waiting too many times. I get it.”

Tears pooled in her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’re happy, right? He treats you right?”

“Yes. He treats me like a queen. We have a daughter. Morgan Howard Stark.”

“Howard?” Bucky chuckled lightly. 

“Yeah, I was hesitant on it too. But Tony did some pretty good persuading.”

“I’m happy for you. Really.”

“Thank you.”

“Hey! Can you two old people stop catching up and come help us with the fight?” Sam exclaimed over the comms.

“Be right there,” Y/N responded. She shot out her hand to the side, blasting a creature into pieces. “Thanks for the save though, Buck. But I could have handled it.” She smirked before running off.

~~~

Tony was fighting by himself, creatures and one of the Children of Thanos were after him. He was punched at the ground and he was going to get back up when Giant Man stopped on the Child of Thanos. Peter swung in, immediately going to help Tony up.

“Hey! Holy cow! You will not believe what's been going on. Do you remember when we were in space? And I got all dusty?” Peter rambled after both his and Tony’s helmets disappeared. Tony was looking at Peter, trying not to brake out in a total grin. “I must've passed out, Because I woke up, and you were gone. But Doctor Strange was there, right? He was like, "It's been five years. Come on, they need us." And then he started doing the yellow sparkly thing that he does all the time–“

Tony took steps towards the teen. “He did?” He mumbled. “Oh, no.” He opened his arms and pulled the teen into him. “Hold me.”

“What are you doing?” Peter hugged back. Tony slapped Peter’s back and closed his eyes, holding him tighter. “Oh, this is nice.”

Y/N had noticed the two and had allowed them some time while she fought off the army. Finally, she was done. She landed behind them.

“Okay, boys, party’s over,” she commented.

“Y/N!” Peter exclaimed, rushing over to hug her.

“Hey, Peter,” she welcomed him into her arms. “I’m so glad you’re back. Now,” she pulled away, “keep fighting.”

“On it!” His helmet closed and he swung away.

The couple watched before making eye contact.

“We did it,” Tony whispered, coming closer to his wife.

“But it’s not over yet,” Y/N replied. She leaned in and kissed him. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

next chapter >

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[writers-buck]

A Family Life

a/n; I hope you enjoy!

word count: 4.1k

relationship: Bucky Barnes x female reader, dad! Bucky x OC child

warnings: fluff, minor angst, mentions of pregnancy. 

Bucky entered the home quietly, after so many years of being an assassin for Hydra and now an Avenger operating quietly came naturally these days. Without even looking he shut the door barely hearing the soft "click" of the doorknob latching into place. He listened closely, trying to determine what room you were in and a grin appeared on his face when he heard you humming. He dropped his duffel bag from when he had to stay at the compound for a mission by the door and made his way through the house. The light was on in the bedroom and Bucky walked in to find you rocking your daughter against your chest.

He stood in the frame watching you for a minute. There was no particular name to what you were humming but it was a familiar melody the two of you would hum back in Bucharest after a hard day to calm the other down. That was before Steve found you and Bucky and life as you knew it began to fall apart.

Things were better now, you had house in the middle of nowhere. Steve had it set up for you, mentioning something about "the Barton's" lifestyle. Records of your connection to Bucky or your daughter were not in any SHIELD databases. Steve was the only one who knew of your existence and where you resided. That's exactly how you wanted it. Being any closer to the Avenging life than you already were was not for you. You preferred the quiet, no where near the spotlight, and no giant target on your back.

Your daughter was about a year and a half old. She was a tiny thing when she was born. Part of Bucky didn't know how something so small and innocent had come from him. Regardless little Hanna was a carbon copy of her father. With a dark head of hair that was usually pulled into small ponytail that stuck straight up with a bow, and piercing blue eyes she was the light of his life, other than you of course. Bucky enjoyed watching the two of you have alone time, bonding between mother and daughter. The moment was over when Hanna picked up her head from your shoulder and looked towards the doorway, making some kind of incoherent noise that sounded like "Da" and pointing.

You turned around seeing your husband, looking a bit worse for wear standing in the doorway watching the two of you rock back and forth. Relief fell upon your features as you quickly crossed the room to hug him tightly. He was still in his uniform, suggesting that he came straight from the mission to see you. He typically did that, not wanting to waste anytime between finally being clear of the danger and seeing you at home safe with your daughter.

"Bucky." You spoke holding him at arms length, checking him over for any injuries the team might have missed.

"Y/n." He whispered as Hanna reached out for her father. He gently took her from your arms kissing her forehead softly "hello babydoll."

Hanna giggled and tangled her fingers into Bucky's hair pulling gently. She was excited to see her father. Missions were rough on all of you, Hanna didn't necessarily know why her father left every once and a while for a couple days. You were constantly worried about Bucky and Bucky was just trying to make it back home to you where he belongs. She placed a sloppy kiss on his cheek and Bucky smiled. He missed this, even if he wasn't gone for long he waited being away from the two of you.

"I'll get her in bed, you go wash up." You spoke framing his face with your hand. "Then we'll talk."

He took his metal hand and placed it over yours, giving your palm a soft kiss, and embracing your touch. Afterwards he gave Hanna one last kiss on the forehead and handed her back to you. "Goodnight babydoll."

You watched as his shoulders slumped and he walked to the bathroom that connected to the master bedroom. That was something you had decided early on in her life. No talking about work in front of her. She didn't need to listen to the things her father went through. You thought back to when Steve had found your shared apartment in Bucharest when she was just a couple months old. He had to fight his way out, leaving the two of you behind. You told him to, knowing the danger he was in. To anyone else you and Hanna were civilians, but one look at Bucky's conflicted face and Steve knew that his best pal in the world had found his own family. That moment had terrified you, especially when you heard Bucky had been arrested. You were sure you had been left alone with a 3 month old daughter until Steve found you afterwards, saying Bucky had a breakdown and needed you.

You walked Hanna into her bedroom and laid her inside her crib, letting her hold onto your fingers for a minute as you smoothed her hair out of her face, and gave her baby blanket to her. Hanna took it and giggled a little bit, something she was doing more often lately. You watched her for a moment more before turning on her nightlight and baby monitor and exiting the room, turning off the lights. The shower had just turned off and you heard Bucky step out of the shower. You approached then bathroom door, hesitating for a moment before walking in. He had a white towel draped around his waist and was unsuccessfully towel drying his hair. You laughed taking the towel from him and drying his hair for him. He hung his head down, giving you easy access to his hair. It was now that you got a good look at his body and assessed his injuries. You lightly touched his chest where a big purple bruise was extremely visible.

"Buck-" You spoke looking deeply into his bright blue eyes.

"You should see the other guy." He spoke trying to seem light hearted and you scoffed grabbing his face again.

"Are you okay?" You asked gently stroking his cheek.

"I am now that I'm home." he told you truthfully. "I took a couple hits doll, but I'm here, I'm safe, and I have both of my girls."

You blushed lightly and tried to hide your smile unsuccessfully. He tilted your head up to his and pressed a gentle kiss onto your lips. When the kiss broke, you kept your forehead on his almost like letting him know you weren't going anywhere anytime soon.

"Hanna is getting really close to walking." You told him and he smiled widely. "I guess I was worried about nothing."

"That's my girl, she's strong." He said his smile never leaving his face. "I'm gonna get changed, how about we watch a movie before bed?"

"I'll set something up." You told him and exited the bathroom placing the towel you had used on his hair into the laundry basket. You had done a hell of a job of getting him caught up on pop culture over the years of your relationship. You picked up the remote to the TV in your bedroom and turned it on, flipping through the channels and looking for something to watch. Before you even had the chance, Hanna's cries from the baby monitor rang through the room and you set down the remote rushing to see what the fuss was about. Hanna typically was a quiet baby, especially when it was time for her to go to bed so this was strange.

Walking into her room you could see she had pulled herself up into a standing position on her crib and was crying, tears streaming down her face.

"What's wrong Han?" You spoke softly, picking the girl up.

"Dada" She cried and you rocked her gently.

"Is she okay?" Bucky asked alarmed. No matter what, hearing her cry always seemed to freak him out.

"I think she just wants her daddy." You mumble giving her a sad look as she reaches out to Bucky who takes her gently.  A loud noise sounds from outside and Hanna begins to cry harder. "What was that?"

"No idea." Bucky states already on high alert, he scans the area of Hanna's room seeing bright light coming from the outside of your home.

"What the hell?" You ask beginning to walk towards a window only for him to grab your hand pulling you back.

"Stay away from the windows." You could see the gears in his brain working. At the moment he was in Avenger mode, processing skills going a million miles a minute trying to figure out what was going on. He handed you your daughter and guided you back to the master bedroom, that was when a knock at the door sounded. You lived in the middle of no where, nobody should be knocking at your door especially in the middle of the night. He grabbed the handgun you knew he kept in his nightstand and went to investigate. "Stay here."

"Be careful." You told him grabbing his hand in letting his fingers slip through your own. He looked back at you and nodded, a strand of hair framing his face. You placed Hanna's head down on your shoulder rocking her back and forth to calm her down. Time seemed to pass eternally slow the minute he left. You sat in a rocking chair that was placed in the corner of your room, thoughts racing and heart beating a million miles a minute. A couple minutes seemed to pass until you heard Bucky's voice let out an exasperated sigh.

"Dammit Steve." He spoke and you loosened up a bit. "The hell are you guys doing here man?"

You hear multiple footsteps enter your home and slowly walk out of the master bedroom, Hanna attached to your hip. Her cries have turned silent but tears are still rolling down her face gently as she sucks on her fingers. Bucky turns around as he hears the quiet sniffling coming from Hanna and your eyes widen when you see the entirety of the Avengers standing awkwardly in your living room.

"We didn't have anywhere else to go." Steve told him. "Sorry for intruding Y/N. I know it's short notice."

"More like no notice." Bucky grumbled walking to your side and taking Hanna who had reached a small hand out to her dad. The daddy's girl seemed to not be getting as much attention from Bucky as she wanted.

"It's no problem," You spoke fiddling with your now free hands. "You know you're always welcome."

"Hold on, Barnes has a girlfriend? and a kid? And you knew?" The man you presume to be Tony Stark asks Steve.

"Wife actually." You told him. "Why exactly are you here though?"

"The compounds been compromised Y/n." Steve told him. "You know I'd never come here without it being an emergency. We would've called but we didn't want to risk having your phone being tracked. The quinjet has stealth mode, that's the only reason we weren't followed."

You took this time to take in their appearance. They truly looked worse for wear. Every word of what Steve said seemed to be true. Natasha had an arm thrown around Steve's shoulder and looked like she was about to pass out at any minute. Clint looked like he saw something out of his worst fears. Thor and Tony both had scratches all over them, some deeper than other and Steve was covered in rubble, his usually perfect hair sticking out in odd directions.

"That would explain why Hanna woke up." You muttered looking at your daughter who had fallen asleep on your husband's shoulder. "We have a couple rooms, you'll have to double up, and someone get's the couch, and there's a recliner in Hanna's room. She can sleep with in ours."

"Thank you lady Barnes." The tall blond Asgardian said graciously.

"Of course. We can talk more in the morning." You told them, grabbing ahold of Bucky's metal hand. "You guys look like you need to get cleaned up and some rest."

With that you exited the room, and entered your own, setting up a spare crib you had for Hanna. It was from when she was really young and required a lot more maintenance during the night than she did now. Still, it would get the job done for however long the Avengers were staying in your home. The thought was crazy, the avengers were residing in your home for who knows how long.

You heard the door shut behind you and turned to see Bucky with a sleeping Hanna. The duo looked adorable together and regardless of how stressed your husband was, him having Hanna in his arms always made him relax. For the longest time he thought he would accidentally hurt her with his metal arm, you of course knew he never would and helped him remove that fear from his mind.

"She's out like a light." He spoke beginning to place her in her crib only for her to begin to stir again and have him pause his actions.

"She missed you." You told him placing your chin on the shoulder that Hanna wasn't asleep on and looking up at him. "We both did."

"I know." He spoke, feeling guilty for being gone for so long. Part of him wanted to quit the hero life and live his life in your home quietly, watching Hanna grow up and the future children you planned on having. The other part of him felt like Avenging was the only way for him to make up for the horrors that he committed as the Winter Soldier. "I'm sorry Steve brought them here."

"Don't apologize Buck." You told him wrapping your arms around his waist and squeezing him softly. "It was only a matter of time. Besides, Steve looked terrified I'm sure he has good reason."

"I suppose you're right." He spoke suppressing a yawn trying to escape. "Why don't we get in bed. It's been a long week and I've missed you both."

You couldn't argue with that and settled down in bed with Bucky doing the same. He had Hanna on his chest and you heard her whimper the slightest bit to being jostled around but she quieted down once Bucky began rubbing her back.

"You're an amazing father, you know?" You whispered watching how gentle he was with your daughter. "She adores you more than anyone."

"You two are my world." He tells you and you work your way into his side, cuddling close and stealing all of his warmth. "You got me out of a dark place, I don't know what I would do without you."

"I love you more than life James." You tell him pressing a kiss on his chest. "You gave me our daughter, and we might have 6 avengers sleeping under our roof right now but I wouldn't change our lives for the world."

"Neither would I." He laughs quietly as to not wake up Hanna. "Even if my best pal is a punk."

"He sure is." You laughed with him. "Now get some sleep. We have a big day tomorrow, you get to deal with the Avengers and I get to help miss Hanna  walk."

"I think you might've gotten the short end of the stick." Bucky says sarcastically and you nudge him gently.

"Avenging is your thing. Being her mom is mine."

"Yeah I know doll, and you're damn good at it."

___

The next morning you awake before Bucky, Hanna is fast asleep on his bare chest and you can't help but snap a photo of the two of them laying so peacefully together. You smile to yourself and reluctantly pull yourself out of bed, doing your absolute best not to wake the father daughter duo. Sneaking out into the kitchen you pull out pancake mix figuring that would be something easy to make considering the amount of people currently in your household. Around half an hour later you look back to see Bucky coming out with a bright eyed Hanna on his hip.

"Well good morning princess!" You cooed, tickling her sides making her giggle softly.

"I sure hope you weren't talking to Barnes." Tony Stark said appearing from the bedroom, looking much cleaner than he had yesterday.

"Very funny." Bucky grumbled and you kissed his cheek.

"Cheer up Buck." You scolded and Hanna copied your actions putting a slobbery kiss on her fathers chin.

"Why thank you sweet girl." He told her, eyes wide with amazement and his mood having done a complete 180. Hanna always had that affect on him, no matter what was going on in that mind of his, Hanna could make it better. You took her from his arms and strapped her into her highchair that sat right beside the dining room table.

"Breakfast is on the counter if you'd like some, help yourself." You told the Avengers that were staggering into your kitchen. Pulling a chair to sit in front of Hanna you began to cut up some pancakes into tiny pieces, you'd feed yourself with whatever Hanna didn't eat.  You placed some on her plate and watched with a small smile as she held a piece out for you.

"Mama bite." She said choppily, and you took the food from her tiny fist with your mouth, thanking yourself for not giving her syrup. Steve walked into the room and Hanna's eyes lit up at her (second) favorite avenger. "Unca!"

You looked at Bucky and Steve who both had equally shocked expressions. Steve looked extremely exhausted from the past couple days and whatever he was dealing with but Hanna's newfound word seemed to put a smile on his face. "Your vocabulary is getting so big little miss!"

"She's got about a whole 20 words now." You spoke laughing as she shoveled more pancakes into her mouth.

"Sorry to interrupt the moment but we should talk about last night." Natasha said leaning against the wall. "How was the compound compromised?"

"I'm assuming Hydra isn't as gone as we thought." Steve began to speak.

"Steven Grant, you know the rules no business in front of her." You interrupted giving him a glare, he sheepishly looked down and apologized with Bucky giving him an amused smirk. Hanna was done with her breakfast, so you picked her up and took her to the bathroom. "Leave your dishes in the sink, I'll get them later."

"I like her." Natasha said nodding towards Bucky.

Bucky walked into Hanna's room about an hour later where you were reading to her and she was pointing at the pretty colors. There was a grim expression on his face and he tried to hide for a moment but failed miserably. You put Hanna on the ground, handing her a toy to distract herself with and stood up to grab Bucky's hands.

"You have to go don't you." You spoke, both you and Bucky's eyes began to tear up. He only nodded and pulled you into a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry doll." He whispered placing his forehead on yours. You swallowed your throat, Bucky leaving was never easy but the fact that the Avengers got their asses kicked and had to come to your home as a safety net? That made it harder. You didn't know if he would come back.

"You come home to us okay?" You told him authoritatively, holding back tears. "You come home and tuck your daughter in for bedtime, to kiss me goodnight, and to tell us you love us okay?"

"I will doll." He told you leaving was never easy, but the fact that HYDRA was involved this time? The main reason Bucky was plagued with nightmares and considered himself the villain of his own story? That scared the hell out of you. You couldn't bare them taking him away from you, from your daughter. You kissed him deeply, his hands grabbing onto your waist like a lifeline and when he let go he picked up Hanna and held her close. "Hey babydoll"

His words were gentle, and you heard him promise her he would come home, and if he didn't that he'd always be in her heart. That she was his greatest accomplishment. Of course Hanna didn't understand a word he was saying but it made Bucky feel so much better about himself that he had to before every mission. With that he grabbed you by the waist again, enveloping the two of you in a tight hug. "I'll come back to my girls, and I'll do my best to keep you updated."

"I know you will." You told him. "I love you James."

"I love you most." He told you. You heard a knock on the door frame and let go of Bucky's embrace to see Steve in full uniform.

"Hey, we've got to head out." He said sadly interrupting the moment. "I'm sorry."

"Just make sure he comes home okay?" You told Steve.

"Anything for my pal's best girls." Steve promised.

"I'll see you later doll." Bucky said giving your hand one last squeeze before walking out of the door. You waited until the house was eerily quiet to let out a shaky breath you didn't know you were holding.

____

It had been nearly a week since you had last heard from Bucky, a month since you had last seen him. You were worried, you always were when he went on missions. This one seemed to take longer than usual and it didn't help ease you're conscious at all. Since then you tried to keep yourself occupied. The house had never been cleaner, Hanna was pulling herself up and trying to walk along things such as the coffee table and even your bed frame once. As sad as it was, she wasn't let out of your sight much and you had her sleep with you most nights. Just to have some kind of company.

You were in the middle of doing dishes while Hanna sat in her highchair eating banana's. That's when you heard her squeal with excitement. Curious, you turned around dropping the plastic cup in your hand when you saw Bucky standing there. He had stitches in his forehead and a black eye and looked worse for wear but he has home.

"Buck." You whispered forgetting about the dishes completely and immediately running towards him. He caught you in his arms with an 'mph' and held you closer than ever before. Tears were streaming down your face as you hugged him. "It's been so long."

"Hi doll." He said refusing to let you go. "I missed you both so much."

"Daddy hug!" Hanna yelled at Bucky and he chuckled.

"I can't forget my sweet girl now can I?" He said picking her up gently and pulling her into a tight hug. She squeezed him as tight as her little arms could handle and you could hear her blow a raspberry into his neck. You laughed quietly wiping away your tears as he pulled you into his embrace once more.

"What happened to you out there?" You asked that night after putting Hanna to sleep in her crib.

"Hydra's done for." He told you playing with your fingers. "And I'm done working in the field."

"What?" You asked sitting up on your elbow and looking directly into his eyes. "No more missions?"

"No more missions doll." He told you. "I'll maybe work behind the scenes but it's time I leave Avenging behind. I want to be here with you, and Hanna and grow our family."

"I'm glad you say that" You spoke biting your lip. "because two kids would be a handful with you in the field."

"What?" He said sitting straight up.

"Another baby Barnes, coming to a cradle near you." You spoke. "Surprise."

"Really?" He asked, his eyes were wide like saucers and he sounded like a little kid with how excited he was.

"Really." You told him.

"God, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Y/n, I swear it." He whispered kissing you softly and placing his hand on your stomach gently.

"I love you more than life Buck. I don't know what I'd do if I hadn't found you."

[fluffymcu]

Letting Loose

Requested Chapter 20

This is a continuation of my series and all future chapters that I write for this series will be written as requested chapters

Request: Ruby Anne, Tony, and Peter team up on the reader from anon.

Tony and Ruby Anne were in the kitchen making sandwiches for lunch. It was a quiet day, most of the team was out to the store or the park, others were in the gym, and you were having a lazy day in your room.

“Stop eating my chips! You have your own.” Tony playfully scolded Ruby, lightly slapping her hands away from his plate.

“But yours taste better!” She laughed, knowing there was no difference in their plates. She was just doing it to annoy him.

“Well, too bad. Eat your own chips.” He shrugged. Ruby started to slowly reach over to his plate with a cheeky grin. “Aaah?” Tony warned, poking at her sides to scare her off his plate. When she didn’t react much, he tried her ribs, furrowing his eyebrows and smiling in disbelief.

“Whahat are you doing?” she giggled, confused as to what he was trying to do.

“I’m tickling you! wait, are you not ticklish?” He asked.

“No..?” ruby scoffed, a confused smile gracing her featires.

“Whaaat?? You are like the exact opposite of y/n! she is literally ticklish EVERYWHERE.” He said, shaking his head.

“Yeheah I noticed. You guys torture her all the time.” She laughed, popping a chip in her mouth.

‘Yeah, it’s hilarious; watching her laugh and squirm around. Hey, we should team up on her! That’s always fun and she never sees it coming.” He says, pushing lightly at her shoulder.

Ruby has seen you on the receiving end of countless tickle fights but she’s never thought to stick around for it and join in. She didn’t know if she should or not.

‘Uhh, I don’t know..” She shrugged, her voice hesitant.

“Oh come on, it’s fun! Trust me it’s hilarious when you catch her off guard. Plus it’s a bonus if we get Peter to join us cause he can easily pin her down. Plus you don’t gotta worry about retaliation on her part cause you’re not ticklish. It’s a win win.” Tony says, laughing a bit as he says it. Ruby thinks about it for a second before agreeing. 

“Mmm, okay sure.” She says, shrugging. Why not.

“Great! Now we gotta get Pete in on the plan.” Tony grinned.

—-

“Oh heck yeah! I’m in!” Peter laughed, rubbing his hands together.

“Well that was easy.” Ruby chuckled, looking up at her dad with a lopsided grin.

“Of course it was! Who’s gonna turn down an opportunity like that? Let’s go.” He said, leading the way to your room.

——

You were standing up next to your bed with the tv remote in your hand, flipping through the channels to find something good to see before you got comfortable before Peter came bursting through the door, letting out a battle cry like he often did. He tackled you to the bed, making you let out a squeal. You thought this was going to be another play fight but you started to doubt it when he pinned your arms to the sides of your head. Your upper body was on the bed but your feet were on the ground. Peter was pinning you from behind your head so you only saw his grinning face upside down.

“Peheheter what is thihis?” You giggled nervously, confused as to what he was doing. Right then, Tony came into your room, Ruby Anne trailing behind him. “Hello dear, don’t mind us, just going around and giving out free tickles.” Tony shrugged, coming closer to you with his hands made into claws.

You immediately screamed and started to pull at your arms, yelling out protests. “Wahahait! Wait wait wait! I didn’t do anything to deserve this! Why are you doing this please!!” You asked frantically, trying to kick your legs to keep him at bay but he only moved to the side, effectively dodging your kicks.

“Now now, y/n. Do you think it was nice to kick at me?” Tony asked, raising a teasing eyebrow at you before squeezing your side. You squealed and flinched away from his hand and threw your head back.

“Guhuhuys! Please! I didn’t do anythihihiHIHIHING AHHHAHAHA!” You were quickly interrupted by Tony mercilessly clawing into your ribs. You kicked out your legs again and pulled at your arms. “PEHEHETER LET ME GOHOHO!” You yelled. Peter shook his head with a wide grin.

“No can do! The only way to get out is if you break out yourself. And we both know that’s not possible.” He sang, grabbing your wrists in one hand and using the other to scratch under your arms. You arched your back with a scream and burst out into hysterics. “NOHOHOHOO!”

“Hey, Ruby, want a piece? You can get her legs?” Tony asked, nodding towards your legs. Ruby smirked and nodded, grabbing your legs, careful not to get kicked before squeezing your knees.

“NOHOHOT YOU TOOHOHOHOO!?!” You cackled, shaking your head as you felt somewhat betrayed. “I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIEHEHEHENDS!”

“We are friends!” She laughed, spidering her fingers behind your thighs making you shriek. “But we wanna make you laugh!”

“That’s right! And this is the easiest way to getcha gigglin’.” Tony smirked, tasering his fingers into your belly, right under your belly button. Your laughter began to sound desperate as you weakly pulled at your wrists, shrieking and falling into silent laughter when you felt Tony blow a long, scratchy raspberry on your belly button. “PLEHEHEASE STOHOHOP!” You cried.

They didn’t.

————-

Sorry if this is bad... I’m still not in a good headspace to write but I wanted to get something out at least. I know it’s short and I’m sorry for that too but I hope it’s at least okay. 🥺💕

[ladydarklord]

The Mighty Boosh on the business of being silly

The Times, November 15 2008

What began as a cult cocktail of daft poems, surreal characters and fantastical storylines has turned into the comedy juggernaut that is the Mighty Boosh. Janice Turner hangs out with creators Noel Fielding, Julian Barratt and the extended Boosh family to discuss the serious business of being silly

In the thin drizzle of a Monday night in Sheffield, a crowd of young women are waiting for the Mighty Boosh or, more precisely, one half of it. Big-boned Yorkshire lasses, jacketless and unshivering despite the autumn nip, they look ready to devour the object of their desire, the fey, androgynous Noel Fielding, if he puts a lamé boot outside the stage door. “Ooh, I do love a man in eyeliner,” sighs Natalie from Rotherham. She’ll be throwing sickies at work to see the Boosh show 13 times on their tour, plus attend the Boosh after-show parties and Boosh book signings. “My life is dead dull without them,” she says.

Nearby, mobiles primed, a pair of sixth-formers trade favourite Boosh lines. “What is your name?” asks Jessica. “I go by many names, sir,” Victoria replies portentously. A prison warden called Davena survives long days with high-security villains intoning, “It’s an outrage!” in the gravelly voice of Boosh character Tony Harrison, a being whose head is a testicle.

Apart from Fielding, what they all love most about the Boosh is that half their mates don’t get it. They see a bloke in a gorilla suit, a shaman called Naboo, silly rhymes about soup, stories involving shipwrecked men seducing coconuts “and they’re like, ‘This is bloody rubbish,’” says Jessica. “So you feel special because you do get it. You’re part of a club.”

Except the Mighty Boosh club is now more like a movement. What began as an Edinburgh fringe show starring Fielding and his partner Julian Barratt and later became an obscure BBC3 series has grown into a box-set flogging, mega-merchandising, 80-date touring Boosh inc. There was a Boosh festival last summer, now talk of a Boosh movie and Boosh in America. An impasse seems to have been reached: either the Boosh will expand globally or, like other mass comedy cults before it – Vic and Bob, Newman and Baddiel – slowly begin to deflate.

But for the moment, the fans still wait in the rain for heroes who’ve already left the building. I find the Boosh gang gathered in their hotel bar, high on post-gig adrenalin. Barratt, blokishly handsome with his ring-master moustache, if a tad paunchy these days, blends in with the crew. But Fielding is never truly “off”. All day he has been channelling A Clockwork Orange in thick black eyeliner (now smudged into panda rings) and a bowler hat, which he wears with polka-dot leggings, gold boots and a long, neon-green fur-collared PVC trenchcoat. He has, as those women outside put it, “something about him”: a carefully-wrought rock-god danger mixed with an amiable sweetness. Sexy yet approachable. Which is why, perched on a barstool, is a great slab of security called Danny.

“He stops people getting in our faces,” says Fielding. “He does massive stars like P. Diddy and Madonna and he says that considering how we’re viewed in the media as a cult phenomenon, we get much more attention in the street than, say, Girls Aloud. Danny says we’re on the same level as Russell Brand, who can’t walk from the door to the car without ten people speaking to him.”

This barometer of fame appears to fascinate and thrill Fielding. Although he complains he can’t eat dinner with his girlfriend (Dee Plume from the band Robots in Disguise) unmolested, he parties hard and publicly with paparazzi-magnets like Courtney Love and Amy Winehouse. He claims he’s tried wearing a baseball cap but fans still recognise him. Hearing this, Julian Barratt smiles wryly: “Noel is never going to dress down.”

It is clear on meeting them that their Boosh characters Vince Noir (Fielding), the narcissistic extrovert, and Howard Moon (Barratt), the serious, socially awkward jazz obsessive, are comic exaggerations of their own personalities. At the afternoon photo shoot, Fielding breaks free of the hair and make-up lady, sprays most of a can of Elnett on to his Bolan feather-cut and teases it to his satisfaction. Very Vince. “It is an art-life crossover,” says Barratt.

At 40, five years older than Fielding, Barratt exhibits the profound weariness of a man trying to balance a five-month national tour with new-fatherhood. After every Saturday night show he returns home to his 18-month-old twins, Arthur and Walter, and his partner Julia Davis (the creator-star of Nighty Night) and today he was up at 5am pushing a pram on Hampstead Heath before taking the train north to rejoin the Boosh. “I go back so the boys remember who I am. But it’s harder to leave them every time,” he says. “It is totally schizophrenic, totally opposite mental states: all this self-obsession and then them.”

About two nights a week on tour, Fielding doesn’t go to bed, parties through the night and performs the next evening having not slept at all. Barratt often retreats to his room to plough through box sets of The Wire. “It’s a bit gritty, but that is in itself an escape, because what we do is so fantastical.”

But mostly it is hard to resist the instant party provided by a large cast, crew and band. Indeed, drinking with them, it appears Fielding and Barratt are but the most famous members of a close collective of artists, musicians and old mates. Fielding’s brother Michael, who previously worked in a bowling alley, plays Naboo the shaman. “He is late every single day,” complains Noel. “He’s mad and useless, but I’m quite protective of him, quite parental.” Michael is always arguing with Bollo the gorilla, aka Fielding’s best mate, Dave Brown, a graphic artist relieved to remove his costume – “It’s so hot in there I fear I may never father children” – to design the Boosh book. One of the lighting crew worked as male nanny to Barratt’s twins and was in Michael’s class at school: “The first time I met you,” he says to Noel, “you gave me a dead arm.” “You were 9,” Fielding replies. “And you were messing with my stuff.”

This gang aren’t hangers-on but the wellspring of the Boosh’s originality and its strange, homespun, degree-show aesthetic: a character called Mr Susan is made out of chamois leathers, the Hitcher has a giant Polo Mint for an eye. When they need a tour poster they ignore the promoter’s suggestions and call in their old mate, Nige.

Fielding and Barratt met ten years ago at a comedy night in a North London pub. The former had just left Croydon Art College, the latter had dropped out of an American Studies degree at Reading to try stand-up, although he was so terrified at his first gig that he ran off stage and had to be dragged back by the compere.

While superficially different, their childhoods have a common theme: both had artistic, bohemian parents who exercised benign neglect. Fielding’s folks were only 17 when he was born: “They were just kids really. Hippies. Though more into Black Sabbath and Led Zep. There were lots of parties and crazy times. They loved dressing up. And there was a big gap between me and my brother – about nine years – so I was an only child for a long time, hanging out with them, lots of weird stuff going on.

“The great thing about my mum and dad is they let me do anything I wanted as a kid as long as I wasn’t misbehaving. I could eat and go to bed when I liked. I used to spend a lot of time drawing and painting and reading. In my own world, I guess.”

Growing up in Mitcham, South London, his father was a postmaster, while his mother now works for the Home Office. Work was merely the means to fund a good time. “When your dad is into David Bowie, how do you rebel against that? You can’t really. They come to all the gigs. They’ve been in America for the past three weeks. I’m ringing my mum really excited because we’re hanging out with Jim Sheridan, who directed In the Name of the Father, and the Edge from U2, and she said, ‘We’re hanging with Jack White,’ whom they met through a friend of mine. Trumped again!”

Barratt’s father was a Leeds art teacher, his mother an artist later turned businesswoman. “Dad was a bit more strict and academic. Mum would let me do anything I wanted, didn’t mind whether I went to school.” Through his father he became obsessed with Monty Python, went to jazz and Spike Milligan gigs, learnt about sex from his dad’s leatherbound volumes of Penthouse.

Barratt joined bands and assumed he would become a musician (he does all the Boosh’s musical arrangements); Fielding hoped to become an artist (he designed the Boosh book cover and throughout our interview sketches obsessively). Instead they threw their talents into comedy. Barratt: “It is a great means of getting your ideas over instantly.” Fielding: “Yes, it is quite punk in that way.”

Their 1998 Edinburgh Fringe show called The Mighty Boosh was named, obscurely, after a friend’s description of Michael Fielding’s huge childhood Afro: “A mighty bush.” While their double-act banter has an old-fashioned dynamic, redolent of Morecambe and Wise, the show threw in weird characters and a fantasy storyline in which they played a pair of zookeepers. They are very serious about their influences. “Magritte, Rousseau...” says Fielding. “I like Rousseau’s made-up worlds: his jungle has all the things you’d want in a jungle, even though he’d never been in one so it was an imaginary place.”

Eclectic, weird and, crucially, unprepared to compromise their aesthetic sensibilities, it was 2004 before, championed by Steve Coogan’s Baby Cow production company, their first series aired on BBC3. Through repeats and DVD sales the second series, in which the pair have left the zoo and are living above Naboo’s shop, found a bigger audience. Last year the first episode of series three had one million viewers. But perhaps the Boosh’s true breakthrough into mainstream came in June when George Bush visited Belfast and a child presented him with a plant labelled “The Mighty Bush”. Assuming it was a tribute to his greatness, the president proudly displayed it for the cameras, while the rest of Britain tittered.

A Boosh audience these days is quite a mix. In Sheffield the front row is rammed with teenage indie girls, heavy on the eyeliner, who fancy Fielding. But there are children, too: my own sons can recite whole “crimps” (the Boosh’s silly, very English version of rap) word for word. And there are older, respectable types who, when I interview them, all apologise for having such boring jobs. They’re accountants, IT workers, human resources officers and civil servants. But probe deeper and you find ten years ago they excelled at art A level or played in a band, and now puzzle how their lives turned out so square. For them, the Boosh embody their former dreams. And their DIY comedy, shambolic air, the slightly crap costumes, the melding of fantasy with the everyday, feels like something they could still knock up at home.

Indeed, many fans come to gigs in costume. At the Mighty Boosh Festival 15,000 people came dressed up to watch bands and absurdity in a Kent field. And in Sheffield I meet a father-and-son combo dressed as Howard Moon and Bob Fossil – general manager of the zoo – plus a gang of thirty-something parents elaborately attired as Crack Fox, Spirit of Jazz, a granny called Nanageddon, and Amy Housemouse. “I love the Boosh because it’s total escapism,” says Laura Hargreaves, an employment manager dressed as an Electro Fairy. “It’s not all perfect and people these days worry too much that things aren’t perfect. It’s just pure fun.”

But how to retain that appealingly amateur art-school quality now that the Boosh is a mega comedy brand? Noel Fielding is adamant that they haven’t grown cynical, that The Mighty Book of Boosh was a long-term project, not a money-spinner chucked out for Christmas: “There is a lot of heart in what we do,” he says. Barratt adds: “It’s been hard this year to do everything we’ve wanted, to a standard we’re proud of... Which is why we’re worn to shreds.”

Comedy is most powerful in intimate spaces, but the Boosh show, with its huge set, requires major venues. “We’ve lost money every day on the tour,” says Fielding. “The crew and the props and what it costs to take them on the road – it’s ridiculous. Small gigs would lose millions of pounds.”

The live show is a kind of Mighty Boosh panto, with old favourites – Bob Fossil, Bollo, Tony Harrison, etc – coming on to cheers of recognition. But it lacks the escapism to the perfectly conceived world of the TV show. They have told the BBC they don’t want a fourth series: they want a movie. They would also, as with Little Britain USA, like a crack at the States, where they run on BBC America. Clearly the Boosh needs to keep evolving or it will die.

Already other artists are telling Fielding and Barratt to make their money now: “They say this is our time, which is quite frightening.” I recall Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer, who dominated the Nineties with Big Night Out and Shooting Stars. “Yes, they were massive,” says Fielding. “A number one record...” And now Reeves presents Brainiac. “If you have longer-term goals, it’s not scary,” says Barratt. “To me, I’m heading somewhere else – to direct, make films, write stuff – and at the moment it’s all gone mental. I’m sort of enjoying this as an outsider. It was Noel who had this desire to reach more people.”

Indeed, the old cliché that comedy is the new rock’n’roll is closest to being realised in Noel Fielding. Watching him perform the thrash metal numbers in the Boosh live show, he is half ironic comic performer, half frustrated rock god. His heroes weren’t comics but androgynous musicians: Jagger, Bowie, Syd Barrett. (Although he liked Peter Cook’s style and looks.)

“I like clothes and make-up, I like the transformation,” he says. Does it puzzle him that women find this so sexually attractive? “I was reading a book the other day about the New York Dolls and David Johansen was saying that none of them were gay or even bisexual, and that when they started dressing in stilettos and leather pants, women got it straight away with no explanation. But a lot of men had problems. It’s one of those strange things. A man will go, ‘You f***ing queer.’ And you just think, ‘Well, your girlfriend fancies me.’”

The Boosh stopped signing autographs outside stage doors when it started taking two hours a night. At recent book signings up to 1,500 people have shown up, some sleeping overnight in the queue. And on this tour, the Boosh took control of the after-show parties, once run as money-spinners by the promoters, and now show up in person to do DJ slots. I ask if they like to meet their fans, and they laugh nervously.

Fielding: “We have to be behind a fence.”

Barratt: “They try to rip your clothes off your body.”

Fielding: “The other day my girlfriend gave me this ring. And, doing the rock numbers at the end, I held out my hands and the crowd just ripped it off.”

Barratt: “I see it as a thing which is going to go away. A moment when people are really excited about you. And it can’t last.”

He recalls a man in York grabbing him for a photo, saying, “I’d love to be you, it must be so amazing.” And Barratt says he thought, “Yes, it is. But all the while I was trying to duck into this doorway to avoid the next person.” He’s trying to enjoy the Boosh’s moment, knows it will pass, but all the same?

In the hotel bar, a young woman fan has dodged past Danny and comes brazenly over to Fielding. Head cocked attentively like a glossy bird, he chats, signs various items, submits to photos, speaks to her mate on her phone. The rest of the Boosh crew eye her steelily. They know how it will end. “You have five minutes then you go,” hisses one. “I feel really stupid now,” says the girl. It is hard not to squirm at the awful obeisance of fandom. But still she milks the encounter, demands Fielding come outside to meet her friend. When he demurs she is outraged, and Danny intercedes. Fielding returns to his seat slightly unsettled. “What more does she want?” he mutters, reaching for his wine glass. “A skin sample?”