#we talked about this idea a long time ago

[notjustjavierpena]

Parents

Series Masterpost | Main Masterpost | Support a disabled creator

A/N: Merry belated Christmas from me! I know this is my second Christmas fic this time around but I finally got the courage to write about Wife’s awful parents. 

Summary: Javier puts his foot down during Christmas with your toxic family. 

Pairing: Javier Peña x f!reader/you (no y/n)

Tags: Toxic family dynamics, psychological abuse, childhood trauma, Christmas, conflict and confrontation, sobbing, declarations of love, hurt/comfort, body/fat shaming

Word count: 5.7k

Link to this work on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61942318

Parents

You get a call from your parents’ home number a few weeks before Christmas. Your mother and father haven't actually bothered seeing you since your wedding day last year but Lucas is four months old now and there’s suddenly a strange interest from them in being grandparents to your firstborn. Somehow, they talk you into spending Christmas with them and reassure you that they’ll take care of everything as long as you bring their grandson. The whole idea causes a ball of anxiety to settle in your stomach, almost imitating getting hit right in the solar plexus with how much your breath struggles to even out as you tell Javier about it. Your husband agrees reluctantly but not without raising a concerned brow, asking you several times - and with days between each time - if you are absolutely sure. 

He even asks you now as he parks the car in your parents’ driveway, looking at you with a serious expression, brows furrowed while you sit stiffly in the passenger seat. You glance towards the front door, trying to act casual as if you’re staring at a wild animal who might pounce if it notices your anxiety. It is an odd feeling you get, staring at your childhood home but feeling more as if it is the scene of a crime. This house is not a memory of warm and fuzzy feelings but rather a place of constant criticism and unjust pain. 

Javier says your name softly beside you. On the backseat, Lucas hiccups.

“Do I look okay?” You quickly ask instead of acknowledging the tone of his voice, fixing your hair without changing anything. 

“Yeah,” he answers and tries not to comment on your nerves, “You look beautiful, mi amor (my love).”

The call from two weeks ago had your shoulders tensing up before you even answered the phone but the way they had reasoned you into revisiting the place of your hardest years has made your shoulders not come down again. 

You sigh gently and unbuckle your seatbelt, “Okay. I can do this for just an afternoon. Let’s get this over with.”

You climb out of the car, Javier following you after carefully unbuckling Lucas and cradling him in one arm while balancing the diaper bag on the other shoulder. You leave his car seat, knowing how much easier it would have been to transport your son inside in it but Lucas has been fussy all night. You really wish he hadn’t because you don’t want to go inside with only half the energy that a good night’s sleep could have provided. 

As you ring the doorbell, you take a look at Javier one last time, “Please don’t interfere. I don’t want to make everyone uncomfortable.”

“Baby, are you sure that—“

“Oh, there you are!” Your mother exclaims when she opens the door with a syrupy smile, “We were starting to wonder if you’d gotten lost.”

“Sorry. Life with a baby and all,” you shake your head with an embarrassed chuckle and try to ignore the tension in your muscles, shrugging your coat off your shoulders to reveal your wine-red button-up and dark skirt. 

“Honey, I thought you knew we always dress up a little during the Holidays,” your mother says while glancing at your outfit with veiled disdain, “Where’s that nice blue dress? With the ribbons?”

“This is all that fits me right now, that isn’t maternity clothes,” you answer apologetically at the first jab of many. Beside you, Javier takes a step closer to you without saying anything. 

“Anyway! Where’s the little man?” Your mother chirps, already having moved on and looking to Lucas who has started stirring in Javier’s arms. When she gets closer, about to reach out to run a hand over his little head, Lucas immediately starts whimpering as if he is aware of the unpleasantries that his mother has had to endure at the mercy of this woman. He knows the culprits before they’ve even revealed themselves. 

“Oh, he’s a little fussy, isn’t he?” She laughs it off and retreats much to your relief, letting Javier bounce your son to make him settle down again. When he quietens down again, you share a glance with your husband who signals that everything is okay. You take a deep breath and let him handle the situation. 

“Where’s Dad?” You ask to turn your attention away from your crying child, smoothing out a nonexistent crease in your skirt. 

“I think he’s just about to get the turkey out of the oven,” your mother says, wagging a finger in Lucas’ face with a little smile, “Why don’t you go say hi and I talk to my grandson for a moment? Oh, look at you, Lucas! You’re just perfect, aren’t you?”

You reluctantly leave the three of them to head for the kitchen. You can feel each family photograph staring back at you as you walk through the hallway to your destination; a picture of your five-year-old self on a bike but somehow no picture of your graduation ceremony as if it has been decided where things went wrong before you could acknowledge it yourself. 

“Hey Dad, smells so good in here,” the kitchen does indeed smell wonderfully as you walk through the door. Your father looks at you over his shoulder, giving you a little smile and you try not to think about how he didn’t bother to come out to greet you. 

“Mom and I were wondering if you were ever coming,” he notes while plating pieces of turkey meat. In the hallway, you can hear Javier striking up polite conversation. He’s handling your mother with his usual calmness, and you feel grateful for his presence yet embarrassed that you aren’t strong enough to handle it yourself.

You shrug a little, Javier’s presence giving you the courage to try and mirror said calmness, “Newborns, you know.”

“He’s four months,” he corrects. 

“Right, time flies,” you reply with your confidence fading fast, the words coming out in a way that doesn’t quite carry the quick wit that Javier usually loves about you. You touch your arm, standing awkwardly by the counter, “Still figuring it out as we go.”

Your father doesn’t turn around, “Parenting’s not rocket science, you know. Your mother and I managed just fine without all the made-up nonsense you young people talk about these days.”

You jump a little as your mother puts a hand on your shoulder and says your name to get your attention. You look back at her, “Can you set the table? I put the tablecloth ready on the silverware cabinet.”

“Sure, Mom,” you smile, already heading for the dining room to escape from your father’s subtle judgments. You find Javier has already gone, an irrational thought popping into your head of how he has bolted and left you to deal with your mom and dad by yourself. 

You glance into the kitchen as you start placing the plates in each of their respective places, “Where’s Javier?”

“He went to get the presents from the car,” your mother replies from the kitchen. You hear her take out a serving bowl from a cabinet. 

“Oh, I should go help him wi—“ 

“He’s your husband, sweetie. Let him handle it. There’s no need to emasculate him like that,” she is suddenly in the doorway, staring you down in a way that makes your hands shake. Her gaze drops to the table and her brows furrow, “You’re using the wrong plates!”

You look up with a racing heartbeat, “What?”

She sighs your name audibly, “These aren’t the Christmas plates. We don’t use regular plates for special occasions. Honestly, I thought you’d know better.”

The words sting and you set down the plates you have been holding in case the littlest twitch will make you drop it onto the floor, “Sorry, Mom.” 

“Ah well, now you’ll never forget it,” she jokes without humor in her voice as she opens the door to the china cabinet, pulling out the plates adorned with what you recognize to be hand-painted holly. You shamefully realize you know them from childhood Christmases and that they are exactly where they’ve always been. 

Automatically, you gather the wrong plates to make room for the right ones. It’s Christmas, you remind yourself as you do it. It is one day. You can survive one day. 

“See? Isn’t this much better?” She says cheerfully when your mistake has been corrected and while you nod, Javier reenters the house. 

He joins the two of you, carrying a large gift bag in one hand and holding Lucas on the other arm. You immediately go to take him, doing a careful transfer until you can lay his tiny body against your shoulder while supporting his bottom. 

“¿Todo bien? (Everything okay?)” Javier asks quietly when you follow him into the living room where the tree stands. He sets down the bag and tries to act casual, laying out the gifts and waiting for your honest response in the meantime. Apparently, you haven’t been as successful in hiding the distress on your face as you thought you had. 

You force a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes and Lucas starts whining again. You bounce him gently, “It’s nothing. Just… Christmas stuff.”

Javier glances toward the hallway to the kitchen where your parents’ voices can be heard faintly over the sounds of cooking. His jaw tightens slightly and his mouth becomes a thin line. 

“Don’t,” you say as firmly as you can muster because you wish he would, “It’ll only make it worse.”

“Dame un beso (give me a kiss),” he says instead, and you shyly lean in to peck him on the lips. Afterward, he pulls back but only after stroking Lucas’ back, “You’re both doing great, okay? Don’t let them get in your head.”

You are interrupted by your mother’s voice ringing out from the dining room, telling you that dinner is ready. Javier kisses you one last time before reassuring you that everything will be okay and that he is in your corner. You try to smile, tense as you take a seat with Lucas still in your arms. 

The Christmas meal begins with polite conversation, your father asking Javier about work and your mother telling you about neighbors that you haven’t spoken to in years. You mostly just speak when spoken to, having decided to focus on your baby as he keeps wriggling in your arms in discomfort. You try to rub his belly, try to make him settle by giving him your attention but still, his tiny face crumbles and he lets out a string of small complaints. 

“Maybe we could open presents while he naps?” You suggest hesitantly when your mother has given you enough judgemental advice, “He’s been so fussy all night, and I don’t want him to get more overwhelmed than he—”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” your mother says your name with a sigh. You hear Javier’s chair scrape against the floor, almost as if he is about to get up and get ready for a physical altercation.

“Let’s do whatever is easiest for the baby,” your father interrupts, placing a hand on your mother’s wrist. Her annoyance shines through her eyes but she nods with a smile nonetheless. 

“Of course,” you hear her grit out, “It’s just… We’d love to spend time with him. We’ve already missed so much, and Luke needs his grandparents.”

“We’ll see,” Javier answers for you. 

The dinner continues in mostly silence with turkey being substituted by pie, cutlery clinking against plates, and glasses being lifted and set down again. There’s tension so thick that it can be cut with a knife, your mother glancing at Lucas with a smile before it disappears from her face when she shifts her gaze to your direction.  

Mercilessly, she finally speaks, “So, honey, have you thought about when you’ll start losing the baby weight?”

“Mom!” You exclaim in shock, surprised that sound comes out when your throat feels like it is about to close up completely.

In the same manner as one would spit out a drink in shock, Javier’s fork scrapes unpleasantly against his plate, and suddenly, your mother’s name falls from his lips like the sound itself leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. She looks startled by the interruption, almost like a deer in the headlights of a car, but it doesn’t faze your husband, “My wife looks beautiful and she has just given me - us - the greatest gift which is our son. Let’s not diminish that, shall we?”

You try to feel the weight of Lucas against your chest instead of how you don’t feel safe within this house, with its bruises on the walls and its ghosts of a youth spent walking on eggshells. Lucas’ body is warm, a reminder that this doesn’t matter. He matters. 

“I’m focused on taking care of my son right now, Mom,” you reply coolly with your lips resting on the soft hairs on Lucas’ head. 

“Right, of course. I didn’t mean anything by it,” your mother argues, clearly flustered, “You know how important it is to stay healthy for the baby.”

“Your mother just wants what’s best for you, honey,” your father intervenes, trying to steer the conversation onto friendlier and safer topics but she has already gotten up from her seat. 

“Why don’t I clear the table so we can move into the living room and open presents?” She mumbles, putting on a show by letting her voice waver. She has begun stacking plates before anyone can even say anything, practically fleeing the room and leaving you all looking slightly sheepish. Javier hides the roll of his eyes exceptionally well and he smiles when you catch him.

“I’ll put Lucas down for a nap,” you announce to what is left of the party.

Javier gets up alongside you to help you. He walks upstairs right behind you, a calming presence with the diaper bag in hand as you head for the guest room.

When you close the door behind the three of you, the tension seeps out of your body at having a quiet moment with your boys. The lighting in the room is soft and calming, almost making you want to lie down to nap with your son. 

“There we go,” you say as you gently place Lucas on the bed while Javier rummages through the bag for his pacifier. Lucas blinks up at you, his tiny fists balled and his chubby legs kicking excitedly. He lets out a happy gurgle.

“Oh, now you’re happy,” you tease softly and kneel by the bed to rub his tummy, “Picky with who we’re smiling at, are we?” 

Javier joins you by the bed and offers Lucas his pacifier. Your son stretches his arms and reaches for his father, letting out a high-pitched giggle around the pacifier. However, as he suckles gently, accompanied by your soft touch that has now moved to his chubby cheeks too, his eyelids start to grow heavy. 

When his breaths have slowed, you do whatever you can with the pillows to create a safe space for him to sleep. You create a barrier around him, ensuring as well as possible that he won’t roll over. 

“You know, you’d think that they would have set up a crib for him if they’re so desperate to see him,” you murmur bitterly as you adjust the last pillow.

“You sure you want to go back down there?” Javier asks carefully. 

“Can you grab the baby monitor?” You ignore his question at first but Javier is already handing you the monitor, ruining your attempt at not addressing the situation further. You sigh and get up from the floor, “I can get through it. If it’ll make them stop pestering me for a visit for a while.”

“I swear, one more word out of her mouth and I’ll open my own,” Javier says with anger simmering just beneath the surface. He drags you into his arms when you stand up again, hears your sigh of relief at being squeezed. It calms your nervous system so effectively that you slump. 

“Believe me, I feel like I am going insane,” you whisper into his neck and shoulder, grabbing aimlessly at his strong frame and inhaling his scent. He returns the desperate touch by simply rubbing your back in slow circles. 

“Yeah, I don’t know how you stay so calm,” he kisses your temple a few times. 

“Trust me, humans can endure a lot when they know there’s a time limit,” you chuckle humorlessly and pull away, “Let’s just do the gift exchange and leave.”

Downstairs, your parents are waiting for you by the tree. The collection of presents is sparse this year due to the short notice but you find it relieving to know that the gift exchange will be over quickly. 

Placing the baby monitor on the coffee table, you sit down on the sofa but don’t allow yourself to relax into it. Javier drops down beside you but leans back into his seat, his hand resting casually on your thigh to ground you. 

“Let’s get to the gifts. It’ll be nice to end this day on a happy note,” your mother says overly cheerfully, pretending to have forgiven and forgotten all about the situation earlier. She reaches for the first gift under the tree while your father stands ready with a bag for the wrapping paper. 

“That’s mine,” Javier tells her with a little smirk in your direction. He holds out his hand until she gives it to him, “To my beautiful wife. Merry Christmas, baby.”

“How thoughtful,” your mother mumbles and sits on the edge of her armchair. 

“Javi, I thought we weren’t on gifts this year,” you scold playfully but there’s no seriousness to your voice. You finally smile and this time it is genuine, feeling his gaze on you while you impatiently rip the wrapping. 

“I know what I said but I know you’ll love it. It’s more for Lucas anyway,” he informs you shyly. 

Inside, you find two pairs of identical fuzzy and comfortable socks with a dinosaur print on them. However, one pair fits Lucas’ tiny feet and the other fits yours. Your whole demeanor changes with the sight of your gift, your face lighting up with a bright smile, “These are so cute!”

“For your cold feet. Thought you could use something cozy while you take care of Luke at home,” he moves his hand to rest just above the small of your back, his palm smoothing over you on top of the fabric of your blouse. 

Your parents sit idly by. They stare at the gift with confusion and arrogance, clearly holding their tongue over how ridiculous they find it. Your mother picks at her fingers, “Interesting.”

“Interesting? Aren’t they adorable?” You hold the matching socks up happily, not sure what to expect but not even your mother’s judgmental expression can bring you down right now. To really rub it in, you kiss Javier’s mouth gently in front of them, “Gracias, esposo (Thank you, husband).”

But the happiness is short-lived as your father goes to get the next present from the small pile. He searches for a moment amongst the few there are, deliberately seeking out the present that you have brought them, most likely to be able to leave the room soon due to the obvious tension. He has never been one to intervene. 

“You shouldn’t have,” your mother tuts with a small smile as she carefully unwraps it in her lap, her fingers doing everything they can to not tear the paper so she can reuse it. 

When the framed picture of Lucas is revealed - a photo taken during an afternoon when he was particularly happy and smiling - her smile develops into a slightly wider one even if it looks against her will. She studies the picture with your father looking over her shoulder. 

“We thought you’d like something to remember him by,” you encourage her to say something. 

Your mother places the photo on the coffee table, her hands smoothing out the wrapping paper while she talks, “It’s lovely, sweetie. Though I’m sure we’d have more memories if we got to see him more often.”

You tense up beside Javier. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him do the same but he squeezes your hip to tell you that he is right there. Anxiously, you curl your fingers into your skirt but your mother isn’t finished.

“I just don’t understand why you’ve been so distant,” she continues, cold in her tone. “You hardly call, which would be fine but you visit even less than that, and now you’re letting Lucas sleep through his first Christmas. It’s not like you’ve gone back to work, so what is it?”

“Mom, please,” you say quietly but it doesn’t veil the wavering of your words, “I’m doing the best I can.”

“Are you?” She challenges, “Lucas has been fussing all night, hasn’t he? Maybe he’s picking up on your stress.”

You hear Javier say your mother’s name as he had during dinner, low and with warning. At the same moment, the baby monitor crackles with the sound of Lucas’ tiny complaints. The sound pulls you from your seat, your instincts to go to him overriding your desire to defend yourself from further abuse. However, your mother’s voice rings out behind you just as you take your first step.

She rolls her eyes, “Oh, just let him cry a little. You’ll make him clingy if you keep running to him every time he whimpers.”

You stop in your tracks, finally turning around to look her in the eye with your own eyes narrowed. You can see Javier watching you closely while you talk, “Mom, if he cries, he needs me.”

According to you, she has already gone too far but it seems that she cannot stop once she has started, “You know, you really should stop babying him so much. He needs to learn to self-soothe.”

Tears of frustration start to build in your chest and you can feel the muscles of your throat start to tighten as they rise to your eyes, “Jesus Christ, Mom, I’m not going to stop babying my baby.”

Her final blow comes out with a deliberate intention to hurt you, “There you go overthinking again and snapping at your mother. He is whimpering. Honestly, sometimes I wonder how Javier puts up with it. You can be such a bitch when you’re stressed.”

The room falls dead silent and the first tear escapes your eye at the cruel nickname… then a second and then a third until you start to cry silently and hopelessly. You suddenly feel like a teenager again, suffering from forced proximity. Your father opens his mouth but nothing comes out, seemingly not able to figure out how to defend his wife for once. It is the final straw for Javier.

“What did you just say?” He firmly cuts through the silence. He has gotten up from his seat and has stepped in front of you to shield you protectively from your mother’s line of sight. His nostrils flare with anger that might explode into rage at any moment but he keeps his voice steady, “You better not have said what I think you did or I am wondering why you haven’t apologized already.”

Your mother’s eyes widen at the idea of consequences. She splutters, caught off guard, “Apologize? Javier, don’t be ridiculous! I’m her mother—“

Javier laughs dangerously and condescendingly and looks away with a roll of his eyes. He shakes his head, not afraid to let the room know that he thinks she sounds pathetic without even calling her out on it. He crosses his arms over his chest, “You got a hell of a way of showing motherly love then; all you have done is tear her down today.”

“Javier,” your father tries to interject, “Let’s not make this into a scene.”

“No,” Javier turns to him, his jaw muscles flexing slightly underneath his skin with how much anger is flowing through him. The simple word makes your father sit up straighter than before - a testament to Javier’s days in Colombia - but Javier is not done, “You don’t get to lecture me about making a scene. Not after sitting there and letting this happen. She is your daughter.”

When your father has shut his mouth, looking uncomfortable by his defeat while he leans back into his seat with no intention to follow up on his words, Javier’s fury settles on your mother once more, “What’s your goal here, exactly?”

You’re aware that it isn’t just a simple few tears falling from your eyes anymore but rather a silent stream that has your face puffy and sensitive. It is accompanied by grief over your younger self not having had someone like Javier in her corner. You sniffle audibly, feeling as if you have been punched in the gut with how much it hurts and humiliates you to sit idly by. Your mother catches a glimpse of you behind your husband but it doesn’t seem to have any effect whatsoever. 

“There’s no secret agenda here, for God’s sake. I didn’t mean anything by it,” she sneers, trying to keep her demeanor straight despite the humiliation of getting called out being evident on her face. 

“Yes, you did,” Javier argues immediately and fiercely, pointing his index finger at her in an accusing manner, “You knew exactly what you were saying. You wanted her to hurt. Well congratulations, you’ve succeeded. Unfortunately, your daughter is a lot nicer than me and handled your words with a lot more grace than you deserve. I will not be doing the same thing.”

Your mother’s composure falters. She says your father’s name helplessly but he looks at her with tired eyes, full of quiet disappointment. Even if he is absent and passive like always, his refusal to intervene further is a sign that he would never go as far as his wife has just done. He shakes his head in disapproval, “Why’d you do it? We were having such a nice time too.”

She gapes at your father while his gaze drops to his lap, shrinking herself slightly at the realization that she is outnumbered and has to face your husband alone. Javier takes a step closer, radiating authority when she tries to avoid further confrontation, distaste so clear on his face for how he has lost her attention for a moment. When you let out a quiet sob, too paralyzed in your spot on the couch to go to your whimpering child, his face hardens further and he continues, “Listen to me.”

Your mother looks up reluctantly. She appears to be on the brink of an attempt to turn his words against him and argue right back once more, but Javier cuts her off before she can even start. 

“You don’t talk to her like that again. Ever. And you most certainly do not question her ability to be a mother. She is a perfect mother and God knows, she hasn’t gotten it from you. Lucas is a happy, healthy, and thriving baby because of her,” he takes a breath, and for a second, it seems like he might be done but then, “You hurt my girl, you understand that? And if you ever speak to her like that again - actually if you even speak about her like that again -  I will personally make sure you don’t get to have Lucas in your life.”

“Are you threatening us?” Her composure slips even more. 

“No, ma’am, I am instructing you,” he replies coldly, “If you can’t respect his mother, we’re done here.”

Javier turns to you now, his face softening immediately at the sight of you sitting teary-eyed on the couch with your hands clutching the baby monitor. He says your name so softly, a sound that has always felt like an unfamiliar and unwelcome sound within this house, and gently pulls the piece of technology out of your hands. 

“Listen to me, baby. Go wait in the car. I’ll get Lucas and his things,” he instructs you, placing the baby monitor on the coffee table behind him without looking away from you. He helps you to stand when you find yourself nodding. 

When you’re up from your seat, he puts a hand on the small of your back to guide you towards the door. He doesn’t say anything, doesn’t let you linger in the room. 

“You don’t have to leave,” your mother protests with obvious surprise that you and Javier are carrying out the promise of consequences. She begins pushing herself to stand. 

“Sit down, I will not let you disturb any of the peace she has left,” he commands harshly when she tries to take a step toward you. 

Your mother falters, stunned by his audacity, and sinks back into her seat.

The moment you’re out of the front door, your legs start shaking so badly beneath you that you aren’t sure if you’ll even make it to the car. The walk feels endless, like climbing a mountain, the neighborhood surrounding your childhood home quiet because everyone is inside with the happy family that you never got to have growing up. 

Until now. You have it now. However, you have left them to fend for themselves on the battlefield to slide into the front seat of the car. You rub your chest as it feels tight but it soothes nothing and suddenly, the tears come harder than they had in the living room. You rest your head against the glass window, screwing your eyes shut and feeling drips of hot tears on your cheeks.

Memories come flooding and you have no power to stop them, pictures of many nights spent in solitude in your room because it was the only illusion of sanctuary in the house before you. The sound of your mother’s scoffs, her unbearable ability to make you feel small, inadequate, and unwanted. Her year-long cruelty feels like a knife in your chest but your father’s silent complicity twists its blade too, makes you think that you were never worthy of defending. 

Yet Javier had done it so effortlessly, had done what you’d wished someone would have done for you in your entire life, and he had done it without any hesitation. You are shattered by another night believing the worst about yourself, yes, but you realize that a part of your sobs comes from relief too. Suddenly, it all feels silly and you don’t know why you have always stopped Javier from speaking up for you since you met because his words - she is a perfect mother - have taken the power out of your mother’s incredibly fast. 

You hear the front door open and a shaky sob leaves you at seeing the two of your boys approach the car. Javier has the diaper bag over his shoulder whilst cradling Lucas against his chest, his face serious. He moves in long strides to get to you fast, not saying anything as he buckles Lucas’ sleeping form into his car seat before climbing into his own seat in the front. 

You sit up again, eyes still brimming with tears that streak your face. You feel overwhelmed like you have run a marathon or fought a bear or a monster. 

Javier puts on his seatbelt but doesn’t put the key in the ignition yet. He looks out of the windshield for a moment, breathes a sigh of relief. The car is quiet except for Lucas’ soft breaths as he sleeps.

Right until Javier says your name when you don’t automatically turn your head to look at him, ashamed of how the day has progressed. It is Christmas, after all, and Lucas’ first one ever too. 

“Mírame (Look at me),” he says in a gentle murmur. 

You shake your head, unable to answer with how tightly wound you are. You feel his hand under your chin, carefully pulling you by your chin until your eyes meet his. His outline is blurry from all the tears but his voice cuts through the fog in gentle firmness. 

“I love you so much, and I love our son, okay?” He says it like it is a promise, “They aren't ever gonna to talk to you like that again because I won't allow them to. Do you understand me?”

You silently look at him through your tears, nodding weakly. He reaches to brush your tears away with a knuckle. 

“Everything’s gonna be okay because you don’t have to see them if you don’t want to. You just have to let me take care of you,” he continues and cups your cheek instead, “And right now, I say you’re done with them for tonight. Actually, for as long as you fucking want.”

“I want… I don’t…” You say at first but then, “I’m sorry.”

Javier furrows his brows, “Why are you sorry?” 

“Because that’s my mom,” you try to speak around a fresh sob, “And you married me and I trapped you with my fucked up family.”

“Hey, heyheyhey,” he shakes his head, moving his other hand to cup your whole face now. He leans over the console of the car and rests his forehead against yours. When you simply cry harder, he pulls you into a hug, “You didn’t trap me, okay? You didn’t. I’m here because you make me happy. You make me so happy, baby, and Hell knows, I needed a bit of taking care of when you met me. Let me return the favor.”

His body is warm, soothing, and grounding. His embrace squeezes you hard enough to make you calm down, giving you a moment of quiet peace in your mind as you begin to take in his words. You feel the same. You want to say it but you’re afraid that you’ll never stop crying tonight, so instead you find the courage to say those words that you should have told yourself years ago, “I don’t think I want to go back.”

“What do you want to do then?” Javier pulls back to look at you. He moves back into his own seat again and starts the car to give you time to think clearly about his question. 

“Can we go to your dad’s?” You ask hesitantly. 

Javier’s brows rise slightly but he doesn’t argue, just nods as he puts the car in reverse. Before reversing out of the driveway, he pulls you in to kiss your forehead softly. 

“Claro, mi amor (Sure, my love),” he says simply, “He’d love to see us.”

.

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[my-castles-crumbling]

name - Jegulus Microfic - @into-the-jeggyverse - word count: 375

James had never even once brought up the idea of either of them changing their names when they got married. He didn't much like the idea of being a Black, if he was honest, but he knew that Regulus had more of an attachment to the name than he would ever let on. Though the other man had long ago cast aside most of his family members, along with their traditions and expectations, he still, for some reason, had a hard time letting go of some things. As if a small part of the Noble and Ancient House refused to die. So James didn't push, and accepted that they would both keep their old surnames when they married.

Until one day, as they were working on the more-thrilling parts of wedding planning, the topic came up.

"We need to get a Marriage Certificate from the Ministry," Regulus said, furrowing his brow, as he looked over the meter-long checklist he held in front of him. "Oh, and I'll get a Name Change Application while we're there. Shall we go tomorrow?"

James took a few moments to process before he looked up. "Name Change Form?" he asked heart leaping a bit. "Wh-why?"

Gray eyes looked at him hesitantly. "I'm taking your last name. I thought you...you knew this...Shit, is that okay?" Regulus asked softly, as if he thought James would be mad about such a thing.

"Fuck." James stood from his chair and moved to scoop Regulus into his arms, ignoring his weak protests. "You mean it? You want to be Regulus Potter?" He did his very best not to drop Regulus with his glee, laughing and pressing kisses to his fiancé's face.

"I thought I did," Regulus said, rolling his eyes and swatting at him lightly. "Ugh. Yes, I do, for some strange reason. Now, stop this, we still have to talk about the cake. Mr. Gateau wanted to talk to us about final decoration details for the frosting-"

"Can it say Mister and Mister Potter?" James asked dreamily, setting Regulus back in his chair and grinning madly.

Regulus looked at him with a mixture of amusement and fond annoyance. "Fine. But only if I'm the first Mister Potter," he said, smirking.

"Of course, my love."

[russo-woso]

I'm watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians and I'm slightly obsessed with the idea of Leah being with someone from that family who is so different from her family in the sense that she doesn't get involved in many arguments on the show, she's of course rich rich but doesn't spend all her money on designer things and donates to organisations and such which is how Leah met her through an event or something

So can I request where the team/Leah's friends meet R and are just like 'Now how tf have you come back from an event in America with a freaking KARDASHIAN as your girlfriend?!' 😂😂

You’re dating a Jenner? || Leah Williamson x KarJenner!reader

Masterlist

Summary You and Leah finally announced your relationship to Leah’s teammates

You weren't like your sisters, you never were.

Despite the similarity in wealth, you never spent it on designer clothes or Botox or multi million dollar houses like your sisters - instead spending it on charity and the less fortunate.

That was just one of the reasons you weren't similar, another obvious different being that you were into women, not men.

Although there were many differences, your profile was still just as high.

Invitations to many many red carpets still in your life.

You normally said no to quite a few of them - normally the big ones - but when one in England came through you decided to accept the invitation. You don't know why but you just had a good feeling about it.

You'd travelled to England the day before the event, your body full of nerves at the thought of the red carpet.

Despite growing up with fame, you still grew nervous at the thought of paparazzi.

Unbeknownst to you, there was a person that you met during the event that took your nerves away completely, that person being Leah Williamson.

You and Leah hit it off immediately and let's just say... you didn't end up in your hotel room that night.

The two of kept in contact, FaceTiming most nights.

Leah then made a visit out to America to see you and on the final night, she asked you to be her girlfriend.

You'd said yes of course.

That was six months ago now and since then, you'd told your family and close friends but there was one group of people you hadn't told yet - Leah's teammates.

Due to your fame, you both didn't know how her teammates were going to take it.

But as you and Leah were finalising you moving in with her, you figured you'd have to tell them sooner or later.

Which led Leah to organising team bonding night at her house.

The team were aware Leah had a girlfriend but they had no idea it was you.

When Leah told them team bonding was round hers, she also mentioned they'd be meeting her secret girlfriend for the first time.

That really seemed to get them excited, most of them eager to see who you were.

"You watch, it's going to be someone we know." Beth said to Steph as they pulled up on the driveway.

"Or someone famous. She's gonna be from the Kardashian's or another famous family." Steph added

"The Kardashian's? No Kardashian or Jenner would get with Leah." Beth joked. If only she knew.

A few other girls pulled up shortly after and soon enough the whole squad was on the doorstep waiting to be welcomed in.

"Do we even know how they met?" Kyra questioned, clearly talking about you and Leah.

"Apparently at some event."

"So she's also famous then." Vic pointed out, the team humming at the realisation.

The door opened and revealed Leah, she welcomed them in, all the girls trying not to make it obvious that they were looking around for another person in the house.

"She's upstairs getting ready, she won't be long." Leah told them, clearly knowing they were looking for you.

Everyone got settled when they heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hi everyone." You said with a big smile, waving politely as their jaws dropped.

"Oh my god..." Alessia whispered

"Hiya, pretty girl." Leah said, bringing you onto her lap as she wrapped her arms around your waist.

"You're..."

"Y/N, nice to meet you all."

"They know who you are, baby." Leah laughed, watching her teammates reactions.

"I called it. I said it was a Kardashian or Jenner." Steph exclaimed. "And here's Beth saying Leah couldn't pull one."

"Hey!" Leah frowned at Beth, offended at her past words.

"I didn't know you actually could." Beth said, putting her hands up in defense. “Like how do you go to an event and end up coming back with a Karjenner?”

“Well…” Leah began, smirking at you, obviously remembering the night the two of you shared when you first met.

“Actually no! Don’t share!” Beth immediately shouted. “We don’t want to hear.”

“Is this a joke? Y/N it’s okay if you need some help. Leah’s got you held hostage doesn’t she? I’ll ring the police if you need me to.” Alessia told you, clearly not believing that one of her best friends was dating you.

“You don’t need to ring the police.” You smiled, resting your hand on Leah’s chest as you looked lovingly up at her. “We have to hide from le first and then ring the police.”

“Why are you targeting me too?” Leah gasped, gently hitting your arm as you smiled at her.

“You’re different from your sisters.” Kyra pointed out, you nodding and giving her a smile.

“I love them, don’t get me wrong, but money doesn’t interest me. I have a lot of it but I don’t need it. I’ve got all I need right here with me.” You told her, kissing Leah’s cheek.

Most of the girls awed at your response but there was one girl who still sat with her jaw wide open - Alessia.

“Are we still all aware Y/N Jenner is sat in the room with us?”

[bookishdreamer28]

𝑺𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒏𝒆𝒘 𝒚𝒆𝒂𝒓'𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒇𝒂𝒗𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒆 𝒃𝒐𝒚𝒔 ❣

Happy new Year everyone! May this new year bring new goals, new achievements, health, happiness and a lot if inspiration to your life!!

And here's my poly!marauders x reader fic! I had no idea what to write or what was going to be the plot in this one, but since it's new year, I thought of writing something sweet and a bit funny to match the vibe! Hope you'll like it, cause I'll post more fics with these boys ^3^

"Oh, she fell asleep?!" Sirius approached your sleeping form on the comfy couch of your dorm room, and kneeled down next to Remus, which he softly brushed your soft hair through his long fingers.

"Yeah..." Remus replied in a dazed look, as he continued keeping his eyes on you. You didn't even had to do anything and he was already hypnotized by you.

"But it's already 23:30! I was waiting for my new year's kiss!" Sirius all pouty, crossed his arms over his strong chest and James laighed lightly at how childish Sirius could be at times. These boys were just obsessed with you. You are their precious little thing and they can't ever get a minute without wanting your love and affection. Just like you do too with them.

"Sshh! Don't you dare wake her up guys or else I'll punch your guts." He said sternly at them and the instantly turned to you again when he heard a soft whimper. When he made sure that you were still asleep, he got up slowly from his crouched position next to your sleeping form, and went to bring your favorite fuzzy blanket to cover your body.

"She's really something else huh?" James said adoringly as he watched you.

"Our precious little thing." Sirius kissed your forehead and held your hand in his, caressing it gently. Remus came back again and covered you with the blanket.

"Can't believe it's been already a year since we met her. It feels like i was just...supposed to happen, you know? We were meant to be together." Sirius continued and Remus smile softly at his boyfriend's words, placing a kiss on the raven haired boy's lips.

James joined them and all three were there with you, like a strong shield to protect you even in your sleep. Sirius placed a comforting arm around Remus shoulder.

Suddenly your body moved making the boys stop talking.

"Look what you've done! You've woken her up!" He furiously told them and he then changed his angry look into a softer one when his eyes fell on you again.

"But we didn't-"

"Sh."

"Oh don't shush me-"

A groan left from your lips.

"Sweetheart? Are you ok?" His voice low and soft, trying not to scare you in your sleepy state with loud noises. When you didn't replied, Remus got nervous. He knew he was overreacting again, but the nonstop scenarios in his head could calm his nerves.

He shook slightly your body, not caring about ruining your sleep now, since his only concern was to see your beautiful eyes open.

"Remus, just a minute ago you were about to chop our heads off for waking her up! Don't tell me that you start maling scenarios that something is wrong because as you can clearly see she's fine! She probably got a bit tired-" He tried to push his hand away from your shoulder but then a sudden movement caught him off guard as he almost lost his balance.

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Your head knocked on Sirius forehead and you both groaned at the impact.

"My goodness you're ok?!" James approached you, with a worried look on his face. You looked up at Sirius touching his forehead and instantly climbed on his lap. His arm instinctively wrapped around your waist and held you.

"I'm so sorry Sirius. I thought-"

"I'm ok pretty baby don't worry about me. Are you ok though?" His fingers traced on your forehead to see if there was a pump forming.

"I'm fine." You chuckled and the sound was like a music to his ears. Not being able to resist, he cradled your face and kissed you like you were the oxygen he so desperately needed.

"Did you have wine before us or something?" James teased and you rolled your eyes at him, which made him pinch your cheek in return softly.

"No! I just felt a bit tired." You yawned and Sirius let you lay your head on his chest, as he placed one hand on the side of your face to keep you close to him.

"Remus? What is it?" James voice broke you from daydreaming with Sirius and turned to look at him. Hsi hand was on his chest and you instantly got up from Sirius lap and went to his side.

"Remi what-"

"Can you please stop scaring me like this?!"

"But i didn't-"

"You'll sleep on my bed tonight."

"Hey she'll sleep on mine tonight!" Sirius angrily said but James pushed him to the side.

"Nope it's me. She's sleeping on mine."

"What I say goes. She'll sleep on mine and that's final." Remus placed you on his legs and hugged your waist tightly. You laughed at how ridiculous he sounded but he pinched the soft skin of your thighs slightly making you flinch and glare at him playfully.

"Stupid dorm rooms having so many beds." Sirius murmured but instead of arguing more, he laid his head on your thighs, placing a kiss on them.

"Remi there's no need to be this dram-"

"Don't make me repeat myself baby." He breathed against your neck, making you squirm in your seat, pulsating with need for more affection.

James sat next you, ans held your hand in his giving it a small lingering kiss.

"I think it's my turn to kiss you now." He mumbled against your lips and you sighed at how perfect felt against yours. Too busy kissing and hugging your boys, you didn't notice how it was already midnight. But that was until the noise of the fireworks outside the room's window could be heard, making you all stood up to take a better look at the magnificent sigh of colorful lights filling the sky.

"Happy New Year my loves!" You happily said as you all shared more hugs and kisses. But in the moment of exchanging wishes and love words, Sirius grabbed your hand and pulled along his side to his bed.

"Sirius what-" the other two boys had now a frown on their faces, and you tried to hold back a laugh.

"Nah ah. She's all mine now." He said and laid you ont top of him making you yelp, as Remus and James rushed in to "save" you. It was all perfect.

[ierr]

They’re Jealous

lineup; I. sae, I. rin, o. aiku, r. shidou, m. kaiser and y. Isagi

¡ a.n ; heh..long time no see guys! guess whose freakin back. MEEE, I have a lot of new writing ideas that I have in my drafts so expect to get frequent updates like before!. trust I'm slowly getting back into the writing groove, but anyways I haven't wrote for bllk for awhile so enjoy the headcanonns!.

I haven’t wrote in so long..this might suck 💔

Itoshi sae ;

you grinned at the message seeing sae had disliked it, rolling your eyes going back to watching your show. as time went by fast, you heard the front door being opened and close and a bag being dropped. you hummed to yourself watching the room door being opened revealing your boyfriend, “hi baby.” sae only squinted his eyes, ignoring your hi, going into the closet to grab a extra pair of clothes so he can shower. you only sighed rolling your eyes knowing exactly where this attitude is coming from, lifting the blanket off your body to get out of bed, you walked towards him. with his back being turnt, you walked up behind him wrapping your arms around his waist. his muscles relaxed in your touch but he was still ignoring you. “my love?.” you started, “are you still upset about what happened?.” you raised a brow, and sae’s face scrunched up from the conversation that was an hour ago. it was like a bad taste in his mouth. he took a deep breathe in and deep breathe out, finally turning around to face you, his eyes bored into yours giving him a teasing smile. “so that’s a yes?” he looked away with a frown “why was he even that close..” his eyebrows furrowed, shaking your head. “we were only taking a picture.” — “you know I only want you, mr. grumpy.” he scoffed, you snickered. “I do!. don’t scoff at me.” you said leaning in a little more pulling him down (or not) to your height. “I love you, okay?” he hates how you can always find a way to make him feel much better about things, seeing his eyes finally soften you smiled in victory,

“now..go take a shower. you stink.” instantly he frowned again, making you giggle, pecking his lips.

Itoshi rin ;

you couldn’t help but shake your head with a grin, seeing he disliked the message, “what are you smiling at?” f/n questioned as you two walked, shaking your head. “nothing. now let’s go see those cats you were talking about!.” after your hang out with isagi you made it home, letting the door slam shut, as you were welcomed by a very grumpy Itoshi who was standing in the kitchen. It looked like he was getting started on dinner. “why’re you staring at me like that?.” you said crossing your arms, seeing him roll his own going back to cutting the vegetables. knowing rin your whole life, from being childhood friends to now being in a 2 year relationship you were able to read him very easily. he was still jealous. setting down your bag by the door you walked towards him who’s back was turnt to you. “rin.” you called. sliding your hand up his back, towards the back of his neck, playing with a strand of his hair that laid lazily there. “I see you’re growing out your hair again?.” he hummed barley giving you a glance, you frowned, but sighed. “whenever you wanna talk, i’ll be in the room.” can't say you didn't try, rin stopped for a moment. right as you were about to leave, you heard the kitchen knife being set down and his hands on your waist pulling you backwards. you stumbled from the movement but relaxed feeling him hug you,

"rin?" he wasn't good at this whole...emotion thing, and you know that, softly smiling at him. "hun.." you said, turning around to face him who was already staring at you with low eyes, "are you still bothered about what happened?" he nodded, furrowing his eyebrows. you lifted your hands to be placed on his cheek, caressing your thumb against, chuckling. "you're so cute when you get jealous.." he frowned rolling his eyes, "shut up." you smiled, "me and f/n are only friends. he’s not gonna take me from you." — "plus I only want you, I don’t want him.'' you always knew how to make him feel better, it makes his heart flutter every time. “I love you, okay?” his heart skipped a beat practically melting into your touch, feeling his face heat up. “I..love you too.” you smiled, leaning in to give him a small kiss which he gladly accepted, sighing in relief.

"now..stop being so moody so we can have dinner."

ryusei shidou ;

“ryu! i’m home!.” you yelled from the front door, but no answer. he would usually answer back by now, but he didn’t? it was suspicious..you raised brow walking towards the shared bedroom, it was completely quiet. was he sleep? he couldn’t be its only 7pm!!when you walked in you expected to see him or something, but he wasn’t there. this was weird. as soon as you were about to call for him, you heard the bathroom door being opened. you were about to question him but you stopped. his towel hanging dangerously low around his waist, exposing his v-line. water droplets dripping from his stomach down below, and his hair pushed back with strands stinking to his head. guess he was in the shower the whole time... he smirked seeing your eyes wander, “like what you see?.” his voice had a small teasing tone, walking towards you. you sure as hell did! nodding your head, his grin got wider “way better than him?..” he questioned, your eyes shooting to his face raising a brow. “you’re still on about that?.” you asked crossing your arms with a raised brow, hearing him click his tongue, “when you’re wearing an outfit like that, yeah.” you rolled your eyes with a grin, “who knew you out of all people would be like this?” you always knew he’s the cocky type and somewhat a “menace” but you’ve never expected jealousy being a trait of his. ryusei gave a grin with a shrug.

“what can I say? you’re hot.” — “and that means?” you questioned as he walked dangerously slow towards you, trailing his hand to the loop of your pants pulling you closer to him feeling his warm body on yours, tilting his head. “every guy thinks he’ll have a chance with you. who wouldn’t be jealous at the fact?” you hummed, trailing your hand up his arm, using your nail making small circles. “you know I only want you right? It was a small hangout ryu...” you looked up at him who smirking nodding his head, “I know.” as he said, unexpectedly picking you up by your thighs catching you off guard. “ryusei..” — “shh.” he shushed, throwing you on the bed, towering over you. “I seen the way he was looking at you…” he trailed, leaning down to peck your lips then slowly moving towards your neck, “pisses me off really.” he pecked against your skin, “you think if I leave enough they’ll know you’re taken?” he whispered sending chills down your spine, “ryu..don’t you dare.” he only chuckled, pecking your jawline, using his bigger hand to message your thigh. “just sit back..”

“and let me work.”

oliver aiku ;

after what seemed like hours and hours, you were finally home, feet aching, back hurting, all you wanted was a nice warm bath with bubbles, bath bombs, and a face mask..that was actually a good idea. smiling at the thought, you took off your jacket and hung up your keys near the door walking towards the shared bedroom to grab extra clothing, and a few cucumbers walking into the bathroom. surprisingly mr. hot show wasn’t here which was perfect giving you piece and quiet. after getting your self settled into the tub, putting on your face mask, tying your hair up, placing the cucumbers on your eyes you sighed in relief, sinking into the bath tub. piece and quiet. It was only 10pm, the perfect time to just have you time. but…you know what they always say..when you have a boyfriend and when you guys live together there’s no such thing as piece and quiet. when your ears perked up to the sound of foot steps entering the bathroom you mentally groaned.. you heard scuffling and clothes hitting the ground as well as water being moved around, you sighed “you know, you’re interrupting my peace, oliver.” you sassed hearing a deep chuckled, “ah, sorry darlin’ didn’t know the bath tub was being occupied right now.” you heard the tease in his tone, scoffing. you both know that’s bull.

"im surprised you didn't hear me come in?" you said with a raised brow, though you can't see him at the moment you can tell he shrugged with a snicker, "was in the gym and decided to come take a nice shower, but someone beat me to it." — "did you get that guys number, that was in the photo?" you grinned with a hum, leaning up from the tub to take the cucumbers off your eyes, giving him a small stare who smirked in return. "there's no way you're still jealous?" he hummed, also leaning up letting his hands guide under the water to pull you closer to him by your legs, "me, jealous? I was just asking a question princess." you rolled your eyes, feeling his hands guide their way around you, "now it's just a question?" he hummed once more, letting his hands glide their way to your waist pulling you ontop of him. "yeah it is." you wrapped your arms around his neck, tilting your head to the side. "is that so?" he nodded, snickering at his answer. "well pretty boy, you only have my eye, no one else."

"you're stuck with me weather you like it or not."

[ziminy]

Nightshift rewritten pt.2

How's life with Gojo and Geto as your roommates

Tags: smut, mdni, ageless and blank blogs will be blocked, f!reader, roommates, college au, making out, almost got caught, humping, fingering, jealousy, delusion (lots of it), pet names, marking, threesome, oral(m and f receiving), something something in the shower, something something on the couch, edging, not so friendly competition, the reader is more on the introverted side,

Author's note: I caught a cold (⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)

Pt1 Pt3 masterlist roommates masterlist

You woke up in your bed all alone. A random shirt from your closet on you, and the feeling of loneliness and guilt hit you. For some reasons, you felt like the player in this situation.

Were you wrong to say you only wanted to see if your roommates were as good as people say? Because even now, after you woke up with a clear mind you only could think about Suguru's body, but nothing more.

No romantic feelings, you didn't felt like asking him on a date. You didn't even cared about how he was, because everything was clear the moment he left your room.

You weren't that different from them after all, just the way they play with people's feelings so are you with theirs. You weren't doing it intentionally or to take revenge on them, you simply just couldn't see yourself in a relationship at the moment, knowing your current situation.

But you still feel guilty, for using the dark haired man for some stress relief. Even if it was mutual, you still have a heart and you understand emotions. You had to talk to him at least, make sure nothing changes. So you got out your room, head empty as your brain simply just didn't want to work, still thinking about what happened last night.

You went to the kitchen, still not being able to process what's happening around you, but somehow knowing exactly what you're looking for. And you found him, sitting peacefully at the dining table, enjoying a cup of coffee and scrolling on his phone.

As much as you're trying not to think about it, you couldn't help but want him a little more. What happened yesterday wasn't enough, for you at least since you had no idea what he was feeling like.

There were marks on his neck, and if you're being honest, you had no idea you left any to begin with. His messy hair that looked like you just finished fucking. It didn't look like you two parted ways long hours ago.

He took his eyes away from his screen for a moment, taking a sip from his cup and then moving his eyes away from you back to his phone. He opened his mouth, closed it and then open it once again, not sure of what to do or say. He was acting like he never went through this, even if it happened countless of times for him already. "Morning." he said after a while, too anxious at the way you stared at him, not doing a move.

"Yeah." you nodded, getting close to the table and sitting the opposite of him, far away from your usual spot.

"I didn't think you'll be up this early." he tried to avoid your eyes, too embarrassed to face you.

"I couldn't sleep." while he was agitated your voice was completely cold. No expression on your face as you kept looking at him shamelessly.

"I see." he took another sip of his coffee, turning to the side and trying to think of an excuse to get out of there or else he'll fuck up. "Well, I'll go now." he tried to run.

"I want to talk to you." it can wait. Right now he doesn't have an explanation for what happened last night.

"Let's talk later." he really had to go.

"No, let's talk now." you grabbed him by the side of his shirt when he walked past you, stopping him in place so you could have a better look at him. "About last night-"

"This isn't the right time." he tried to brush your hand off.

"No, listen-" he was so stubborn.

"I'll text you when I'm ready." he would not.

"Suguru, what are we?" he froze at that question. He was afraid of those same exact words. "Because I don't want us to be anything." huh? That made his eye twitch.

"What do you mean by that?" he finally stopped running, turning around to face you, looking down at you who was still sitting down just as expressionless as before.

"Can we stay the way it was before?" absolutely the fuck not. "I'm not ready for anything at the moment." and that means he is? I mean, you spoke the same exact words he was thinking about, but how dare you not ask for anything from him in return? He would have indulge you and took you out on a few dates if you asked him to. He was running away earlier because he didn't thought he was that ready to commit himself to you, you had to give him a few days to think of all the possibilities, of how far in life can you two make. The dating life, the wedding, how many kids you'll have and how your house would look like. But this was genuinely ridiculous, you didn't even let him have some time to think about it.

"Then?" he asked, still waiting for you to explain yourself and your poorly choice of words.

"I don't know." you shrugged, making him even angrier at you. "I'm happy with myself, you seem to be doing the same. I don't see why we should be together." this was worse than a circus, this kind of buffoonery was something he never seen before and it's getting on his nerves. So what if he seems like he's doing good, that doesn't means that you can just cockblock him like that.

"What if I don't want to?" you shrugged again, not being able to think of anything.

"What do you want to do then?" this situation was going to total opposite. You were supposed to ask him out, like the majority of people that dragged him into their beds, he was supposed to say no. But this time he was going to appear a few days later and take you out on a white horse. You were supposed to make him realize that he was a dumbass, that he can't live like this forever and try to change himself.

I mean, he knows girls like you. The quiet type, the weirdly attractive that always keeps to themselves around people they don't know. And he heard about the magic your people had, the way it can swipe anyone off their feet and settle them for life. He prepared for this, he was ready to commit to a single person, worship you like he never had anyone in his life. He was ready to mold your body to fit him perfectly. And yet you decided to destroy all his dreams. "I don't want anything either." he was so bitter about this. He can't believe he's lying not only to you but to himself, he can't even find an excuse for his words.

"Do we stay the way we used to?" he shook his head, not wanting to open his mouth anymore. "Then?" he moved his hands towards you, grabbing you by your sides and lifting you up to place you on the table.

He pressed his body against yours, his crotch right into yours and hoping that you could at least get an idea of what's going on in his head. "Do we have to pretend that nothing happened?" he spoke quietly, his breath hitting your skin and it only left chills down your spine. "We can do it as many times as we want and nothing will change if you don't want to."

"What about you then? Do you want something to change?" he didn't dare to answer your question, knowing it might affect what you're going to say next.

"You're overthinking." for a moment you thought that something was going to happen, looking at the way he tried to avoid eye contact, holding back something you had no idea what it was. Only to disappoint you in the end. Yeah, maybe you're overthinking, like you always did. Perhaps you were the only one with big feelings in here and he just opened your eyes. Then you can keep doing this without feeling guilty about his feelings. Somehow, you feel more at ease. He just wanted to feel something, and so did you. So why were you hoping for him to say something more, anything rather than that.

"Kiss me." you said, trying to see if this was really all in your head and perhaps he wanted you just as much as you wanted him.

You didn't know what to expect, because the next moment you said that, his lips were on yours. His weight being pressed against your body, grinding against you as the kiss got too deep for anyone's liking. But you didn't complained. Closing your eyes and dragging him closer, hoping this time you'll actually get to feel more. His hands under your shirt, lifting it up and exposing more of your body. You moaned quietly when he started to play with your breasts, giving him a soft look that made his cock throb in his pants.

Fuck it, he'll just do it. He broke the kiss for a moment, hands going to his pants to free himself, and at the same time tugging at yours too. This wasn't the way he wanted to do it, a quicky that didn't let him have more time to explore you, but he couldn't complain when you didn't complained.

You looked at him, at the expression he had on his face and at how he was biting his lip a bit too hard. You opened your mouth, wanting to tease him a little but your words got stuck in your throat when you heard the front door opening, following by the sounds of some shoes hitting the ground and some bags being moved around.

Panick was written all over your face, and as much as Suguru was annoyed, he knew exactly what to do in that situation.

He lifted you up from the table, getting your clothes in place and fixing your hair. Then tried to fix his clothes a bit too, not too much or it would become suspicious. He sat back down on his chair, his phone in one hand while his coffee in the other, making it look like it was just another morning, even if his heart was beating so hard he could barely keep his composure.

"Eh? You're up? But I wanted to surprise you guys." Gojo's voice could be heard from the door behind you, and you didn't dared to turn around and look. "Suguru, what happened to you?" he said, noticing the way his friend was sweating and his hair all over the place.

"Slept badly last night." the dark haired man said, avoiding eye contact and taking a sip of his coffee.

"You look just as bad as him. You're alright?" the white haired man said when he got next to you, looking at how your eyebrows furrowed, and something in your eyes that looked like you just got scared to death.

"Couldn't sleep." you looked down, trying to forget about what just happened.

"It's because I wasn't here, was it?" Satoru seemed way too happy with this. "Don't worry, I'm not leaving any time soon." and that's exactly what Suguru was afraid of. "Anyway, here's what I got from home." he placed some bags with food on the table.

For the next few days both you and Geto were cockblocked by the white haired man. Every time you got a bit of alone time, he had to appear out of nowhere and made sure to sit between you two. He didn't let you get close, always making sure to sit next to you and slap Suguru's hand away if he tried to make a move. I mean, since when does he have the balls? And how dare he try to get close to you? Not when Gojo is there. Absolutely not, it was out of question.

Maybe it was the jealousy, and it really didn't helped that you looked so friendly to each other after just a day. No because, he needs to know what that guy did. How did he got you to come running to him?

The way Gojo stared at you was obviously, so obvious that it made you put questions. Did you had something on your face? Was your hair alright? Or.. did he knew? You always panicked at the thought of him knowing what you did. And he noticed it right away. How you frown, giving him a quick look and then look away, looking at him again only to run from there in the end.

Did Suguru told you something while he was away? Did he told you something embarrassing about him and now you're avoiding him? I mean, you can't really call it avoiding when you act the same as before around him.

Was it the fact that he was seeing himself in Geto's position that made him a bit delusional? Because he was doing it before but now it got worse.

It was clearly your fault, no matter how much he thinks about it, it's definitely you who is the problem. Why would you show him that you could make that barrier that you put between them disappear? Now that he knows you can open up he kept thinking about it.

"I won't be back today." it was around 6 in the afternoon when Suguru sent something in the group chat.

"Have fun." you texted, going back on doing whatever you were doing before.

"Wanna watch a movie?" you got another text, this time from Gojo in private. Well, last time you watch a movie you ended up with someone in your bed. But you wouldn't say no since you're bored anyway. "Come in the living room." he texted again, like he knew you'd say yes.

You don't have anything better to do anyway. And it's not like you'd end up in the same situation again, right? I mean, it would be ridiculous for it to happen two times in a row. Right?

Damn. You should have kept your mouth shut.

You can't even remember how you ended up bend over Satoru's lap, and his long fingers bullying their way inside your pussy. A movie he said, whatever you'd watch a movie or make one to watch it later he didn't specify.

You can't even look at him in the eyes, you gave up too easily. The moment he called your name, in a much lower tone than his usual colorful one, was the end of you. His eyes made you weak in the knees, and it didn't took long for things to escalate.

"I actually wanted to see this movie for quite a while now." he said, not even paying attention to the tv. His eyes were on your back, looking at the shirt that you still had on. He wanted to take it off, to see everything he wouldn't usually see. All your hidden self, your soft skin that he wanted to touch and bite into.

"Wait." you cried when he started to curl his fingers a bit too hard against a spot that felt way too good than you'd like. Gripping the cushion underneath you, and wanting to sink your teeth into something.

But before you could do anything else, he took his hand away from you, leaving you all empty and whining mess. "Don't you want to feel good? I could give you something much better." with tears in your eyes, you looked at him. If he knew what you wanted why was he like this?

He took your shirt off, now sitting all naked on his lap. You looked at him freeing his cock from his pants. He was big, and you're afraid you might not be able to take him. But you're determinated, and you won't leave this room until you get a taste of that dick.

"Easy now." he said, one of his hands on your back as you tried to get him inside of you. "Don't force yourself." you're the one who should decide that.

He's doing this totally wrong. You want to hear encouragements, him praising you for doing so good for him. You want him, you want his hands all over you, to feel him in places no one touched until now. So how dare he hold back right now?

Look at him, his hands on the couch, right next to your bodies and not daring to get anywhere near you. His back resting against the couch, leaning into it so he could give you space, when you clearly didn't want that.

"Touch me." you didn't even realized you said that out loud until he started laughing.

You got the tip of his cock inside, letting out a small noise and looking at him. You were really trying your best, but this was too much. You didn't expect to be stretched out like that. "Told you to take it easy." you wanted to bite him. He wasn't being useful at all.

You kept getting more of his cock inside of you, sinking your hips into his until he got all the way in, touching that one spot deep inside you. You did it, you actually did it. Well, it hurts a little but it's nothing that you can't handle it.

Holding onto his shoulders, you moved slowly, taking a few seconds to yourself every time you raised your hips, taking a small break before you got him all the way in again. It wasn't much, but it was honest work, and you're happy with your progress.

What made you work even harder was his moans. The way he was still holding himself back and moaning quietly, making your inside clenched, squeezing him and making him let out a louder moan. You're going to bully him, you're this close on pushing him down and trying even harder than before.

Can't he see you're willing to work yourself over the top for him? He could request something out of pocket and you'd do it in a heartbeat.

You took one of his hands and placed it on your side, making him to finally look at you. He did got the hint, but he still didn't dared to help you in any way, fearing he might do something he'll regret later.

But he's willing to try at least. He placed his other hand on one of your boobs, playing with your nipple and kissing your neck, sucking on your skin and leaving red marks behind him.

He wanted to do a lot more, he really does, but he's so afraid of being too rough on you. If he hurts you in any way he won't be able to forgive himself. Even so, if you keep being this delicious he might actually forget about all his morals.

"Tell me what you want me to do." he said out of breath. "I'll do it."

"Touch me more." he let out a moan. "Like you mean it." but he meant everything that he did until now. What more do you want from him?

"Something else." his words were driving you crazy.

"Kiss me." say less. He smashed his lips against yours, kissing you like there was no tomorrow. It was like he was trying to eat you, dragging your body closer to his unconsciously and trying to deeper the kiss. Your chest pressed against his, and it made him realized that he still had his clothes on him.

"Wait a moment." he interrupted the kiss, parting ways with you for a moment to take off his shirt. He's not going to miss the chance to have your body right against his because of some clothes standing in the way.

He pressed his lips against yours again, a hand on your back and leaning in towards you, making you lose a bit of your balance. Now he was in control and he didn't even realized it. In fact, I don't think any of you realized that he started to move you on him. Faster moves, out of pace and no certain direction where it was going. Everything was way too sloppy now.

But his kisses got better. His tongue in your mouth and looking for yours as he kept guiding your body on his. "Fuck." he cursed, moaning your name in your mouth as he started to move his own hips forward.

"Toru." you tried to say something, to let him know about how close you were.

"I know baby, I know." it's alright, he was there. He wasn't going to leave you alone through this one. He feels the same way as you, and he was trying so hard to cum at the same time as you. I mean, if you do, doesn't that means you have a different type of connection? It's like you're meant for each other.

His delusions didn't helped him, seeing you cum made him desperate for his high too. Mostly to show you that you're not the only one who's struggling.

He was putting quite a show for you, wasn't he? From the expression he had to the way he was a moaning mess. It never failed to make your stomach turn upside down, clenching around him and making the grip on you tighter than before, not letting you go until he finally came.

You just stood there, enjoying the warmth your bodies gave to one another. His nose pressed against your neck, bathing in your scent, relaxing at the way you played with his hair. He could stay inside you forever, your pussy was feeling way too good for him to just pull out.

But then it hit him. He was being an idiot, he was showing you his weak side, that he too was like everyone else even if he always played high and mighty.

He couldn't do it like this. No matter how much he likes you, he can't show any signs of weakness.

So, he got you off him, dressing you back into your clothes and getting you to your room and making sure you're comfortable, before he too did the walk of shame back to his bedroom.

The next day he didn't want to get out of bed, too tired after what happened yesterday. But he was forced to wake up by someone knocking at his door.

And there you were, looking up at him with big doe eyes and making him feel like he wasn't that tired anymore. "Can we talk?" you asked in a sweet voice, making him gulp and grip the door way too hard.

"Sure." he couldn't even hear himself. "What happened?" he couldn't think of a single thing besides bending you over the closest thing in that room.

"About yesterday." don't even get him started. "Can we stay the same as before?"

"No." you must be insane for asking him that in the first place. "Absolutely not."

"Then? I don't want to get in a relationship." I mean, he did liked you, more than he likes to admit. But that didn't necessarily means he wanted to be in a relationship either. He wanted to parade you for the world to see you're his, but the thought of actually putting in effort turned him off. It might have been because of all the people that chased after him, that and his unsolved issues. He can't be with someone until he put his thoughts in place, and knowing him, it would take a long time before he could finally settle down.

"Does it matter what we are?" he might be right. "As long as we both want it, does it really matter if it's a relationship or not?" guess not.

"Then let's stay the same as before." he shook his head. "You're sure you want to keep doing this then? I don't want any unnecessary feelings." well said.

He dragged you in his room, not even closing the door as he pinned you to the wall. Your legs wrapped around his waist, and your arms around his neck.

"We can keep doing this for as much as we want. Who is going to stop us?" he said before pressing his lips against yours.

How cute of you to come to him first thing in the morning. It's like you knew he was missing you. Well, since you're being so thoughtful of him, he might as well give you a reward.

But when he thought things couldn't get any better, someone just opened the front door. Getting inside and letting everyone know he's there. "I'm back." Suguru's voice could be heard from outside the room.

Gojo didn't want to let go of you just yet, still kissing you, pressing you against the wall harder while aiming for the door to close it, even lock it if he had enough patience.

"No." you said quietly, trying to not let out any weird sounds.

"It would be fast." the white haired man tried to convince you, but he was being welcomed with the same answer.

This was so annoying, his morning was ruined when it just started to get good. He couldn't let go of you just like that, so, he moved his lips to your neck, leaving a big hickey before biting your lip. Finally letting you go.

They're crazy, your roommates are insane. They're mad men, not a single normal thought going through their heads. But perhaps that's what you like about them, the fact that with them nothing goes as planned. A simple conversation can go in so many ways, a wrong move, word or just a look from you and everything does down the water.

But somehow, everything was peaceful for a few days. Or more like, your housemates tried to keep it low-key since neither of them knew about what happened when you were alone with the other.

So now it was just then trying to get your attention, but quietly, not wanting to attract attention.

That of course didn't lasted for long. It was tiring, this hide and seek that lent to nowhere. You knew it too, but you still didn't expect your life to be disturbed again so soon.

It was another day just like the other, well, perhaps not. But it was a day where you could relax since you were home alone.

You got out your room, sneaking into the living room and jumping on the couch, turning on the tv and playing a show you just discovered.

Everything was supposed to be normal, to go back to how it was when you moved in. They were supposed to give you space and ignore each other like before. But to your surprise, it didn't happen. The moment one of them got home, he went specifically to you.

"You're back?" you asked, looking at Suguru who looked like he got caught in the rain. All he did was to groan, leaving whatever he had in his arms on the floor in the middle of the room and throwing himself next to you. "Go change, you're gonna catch a cold." he didn't wanted to get up, the couch was feeling way too good.

"Is Satoru back?" he watched you shake your head before he finally got up, leaving the room and coming back later with some freshly washed clothes on him. "Lay down." he said, looking at you who didn't seemed to pay attention to him or what he's saying.

Perhaps the fact that you were focused on the show was a good thing, because you did as he said without a single complain. So he sat back next to you, this time laying down in your arms. "Eh? What are you doing?" you finally realized what's going on.

"I'm tired." he had his face buried in your neck, his back to the tv since he wasn't interested in watching anything at the moment.

"We can cuddle another time." this wasn't the space, especially since you never know with who you might wake up.

He didn't cared. If he keeps running from this then it would take him nowhere. So what if that guy sees him? It would change nothing. Plus he's showing how great your relationship with his was, no? And nothing feels better than the warmth your body gives and his friend being jealous.

His hands went under your shirt, wanting to feel more of your skin. It was so cold outside, and your temperature was leading him in. He loved it so much that he didn't even realized when he got his head under your shirt, his head against your chest as he was listening to your heart beat.

"Get out of there." you slapped his back softly, making him to bite one of your boobs in response. This was a rare occasion, like heck he'll let you alone. The marks he left are long gone too, so he had to leave some behind. I mean, what if you miss him while he's away?

He sink his teeth into your skin, making you gasp. He sucked and liked at every single empty spot he found. That way you'll still have a part of him no matter where he is.

"I'm home." a voice could be heard from the hallway and you feared you knew exactly who it was.

How could you have been so stupid, fucking with both of them and not letting a single soul know. Look in what situation you got yourself in now.

"Suguru, come on." your words went to deaf ears. You can't do anything more than cry since you have nowhere to hide.

"Who left the tv on?" Satoru's voice could be heard from the behind the couch. Guess that was it, you might as well look for a new place at this point.

But to your surprise, the white haired man didn't said a thing. He looked down at you, at the expression you had, the pout on your face and at how you were trying to hide your face behind your hands. It took him a moment to realize what was actually going on.

He was late, he was painfully late and now he couldn't do anything about it.

He must do something about it or the dark haired man will beat him. And he couldn't stand the fact that someone else was in front of him, he had to be number one.

Satoru moved your hands away, leaning down and placing a kiss on your lips. He too could play this game. So you better prepare yourself because neither of them will take it easy from now on.

Fuck your life. Your doomed, flabbergasted, absolutely bamboozled. From the moment you stepped a foot out your room both of them were trying to get you in a way or another. And now they were fighting for you attention.

"Come here." the white haired man said, looking at you who just got into the kitchen.

"Y/N." the other said your name, signaling you to go to him instead.

But you were smart, you knew you shouldn't start a storm. So you walked out of there and back into your room, ignoring the two guys that seemed to add fuel into the fire.

If you don't want to get out, then they'll come to you. And that night you woke up with both of them in your bed.

First it was Gojo who came around 11, getting under your blanket quickly and dragging you into his arms so you wouldn't run away. He wanted to cuddle too, and your bed seemed so welcoming. Your room in general looked much friendly than his. Was it the sweet scent that he kept getting hit with every time he opened your door? Or the fact that you were living in there? He can't really answer for sure but he just liked your bedroom more.

And then Geto made his presence when you were almost asleep. Getting into the unoccupied side of the bed and wrapping his hands around you.

The next morning wasn't anything better.

A pair of muscular arms on you, not allowing you to move an inch. All you could see was some white hair coming from under the blanket, and you knew exactly who it was since he had his face into your chest, hands under your shirt and dragging your lower body away from the one behind you.

What a way to start your day. But for a moment you allowed yourself to get distracted and enjoy their presence, how their bodies felt against yours.

With your nose into Gojo's hair, you took a deep breath. He smells nice, a bit familiar too but maybe it was because of how much time you spent with them lately. But then it hit you, he was using your products. You turned your face away, taking a stiff of Geto only for him to smell the exact same. You gasped at the realization.

"What?" the dark haired man said amused. He was clearly thinking of something else, since you could feel his cock pressed against your back.

"Are you using my shampoo?" well damn. It's too early to respond to that. He can't think of excuses this early in the morning.

"Mmm." Gojo wrapped his arms around you harder, rubbing his face against you and trying to ignore the voices he kept hearing.

"Who knows." Suguru couldn't give you an answer even if he wanted to.

"Satoru is using it too." you pointed out, making the man in your arms to look up at you still half asleep.

"What about me." the white haired man could only hear the part where you said his name.

"Is that why I have almost nothing left in the bottles?" why did you wanted to argue at this time of the day was a mystery. If you didn't want them to use it then you shouldn't had left them in the bathroom.

It wasn't the time to fight, especially when you were finally started to get along. I mean, look, all three of you enjoying the peace and quiet. Can you blame Suguru when he took the initiative and stopped a potential threat to this serenity? So what if he kissed you, a bit too sloppy for his style, but he's not really awaken at the moment, his mind is still a blur. An arm under your head, keeping your face pushed towards him while the other was slowly making it's way under your shirt.

Satoru only noticed the hand that was trying to get in his territory, and he slapped it away only for Suguru to try again. The white haired man got his head out the blanket, annoyed and wanting to tell his friend to stay in his place before he realized what happened.

So here he was, taking your pants off along side your panties and throwing them somewhere in the room. Now making his way in between your legs and throwing them over his shoulders.

You couldn't even say a thing, and even if you tried you were stopped by Suguru who seemed to finally waken up. His tongue in your mouth and kissing you in a way that made your head spinning.

"Look how wet you are." Satoru said, slapping your pussy softly and laughing at the way you looked even angrier than before. He placed a kiss on your inner thigh, moving his lips to your wet core and giving your clit a quick kiss before he started eating you out.

Honestly, what was wrong with them. I mean, you knew they weren't normal. But couldn't they at least try? Why go through this much trouble? You'll get mad at them either way after this.

Just because you're moaning doesn't mean you forgive them. However, it got to their heads. Which one? Who knows. It's not like they were thinking clearly before either. So what would make a difference now?

The fact that you were mad at them to begin with was more than a valid reason to touch you. I mean, how could they let you start your day like this? You shouldn't be in a bad mood. And they're trying to make it better, to show you how sorry they are. That if you ignore the grin on their faces.

"Don't look at him." Suguru whispered in your ear, lifting your shirt up so he could see your body better. He gets jealous if you don't give him attention.

"No, Y/N." Gojo took his mouth away from your pussy for a moment, licking his lips and pushing two of his fingers inside of you. "Don't I make you feel good?" you always get flustered whenever he looked at you.

"I would have done it myself if you didn't got in the way." Geto rolled his eyes, annoyed at the fact that you were looking at someone else.

"I can't hear you." the white haired man was enjoying this way too much. "Pussy tastes too good." he said, wrapping his lips around your clit, giving you all his attention once again.

"You like me more, you heard me." Suguru kissed you again, pressing his body against yours, wanting to snatch you away, all to himself. Maybe it was his fault that he didn't thought about this before hand.

But he can't really blame it when you look this cute. Just look at you, closing your eyes every time it got too good and leaving soft sounds out that didn't got too far since they were muffled by him. Of course he couldn't help but kiss you, that way you'd give something to him too.

And the way you grab at his shirt? Or how one of your hands went through Satoru's hair, tugging at it lightly as you looked like you were close. So close it took everything in both of them to restrain themselves.

But when you did came, it was like something switch inside of them. Look at Gojo who was getting up, getting his cock out his pants, and Geto who placed one of your hands over his crotch, later on trying to get it in his pants.

"So why are you using my shampoo?" you said, not letting them do another move.

"We can talk about this later." the white haired man really didn't wanted to talk about that, in fact, he couldn't think of anything else besides getting inside your pussy faster.

"No." you slapped their hands away, getting up the bed. "You always do this." you fixed your shirt, getting your pants back on. "I thought I was going insane, I even started to use less thinking that I might be the problem." you walked to the door. "If I let you off this time then you'll do it again." you went out the room, closing the door behind you and leaving your housemates there. But then it hit you, that was your room. So where were you going? You went back, opening the door and looking as angry as before. "This is my room, so get out."

"I can buy you more if you-" you didn't even let Satoru finish his sentence.

"It's not about that."

"You can use mine too, if that's the problem." why would you listen to the guy who buys the cheapest things he finds and call it a day? The only thing you liked about your roommates was their cologne, which had a cool fresh scent. And now that you think about it, they don't smell like they used to anymore. You sniffed your hand, only to get even angrier than before. They smell like you now.

"Get out." you won't let them slide this time.

From that moment on, they tried to make it up to you. Being extra extra sweet to you, not letting you lift a finger around the house or even think about doing something. If you knew they would be like this you would have gotten mad at them a long time ago.

The space they give you now is so refreshing, like you can finally breath. But what did you expect in a house full of madness.

Maybe it was your fault too, for letting your guard down and not checking that door twice.

You went into the bathroom when no one was home, wanting to take a long bath and enjoy the new products you just bought. You thought you locked the door, you swore you did. But somehow you ended up with an uninvited guest in there. You didn't even noticed the dark haired man until he got in the shower, scaring you when his hands made contact with your skin.

"Suguru? What are you doing here?" you tried to turn around but he kep you in place, getting his body closer to yours, his chest pressed against your back.

"You weren't in your room." you're rarely out the house, so it wasn't hard to find you.

"I thought you won't be back until later." he seemed to enjoy catching you off guard.

"Didn't feel like going out today." he extended a hand, trying to grab one of your freshly bought bottles only for you to slap it away. "Let me wash your hair." and give him a free pass on using your products again? Nope. But he seemed to know what you're thinking of, and it made him try again. "I'll behave." like heck he would.

Perhaps he could win your thrust again by doing something else. Convincing you to let him do it wasn't that hard at all. A few words whispered in your ear, even letting out a moan as he tried to 'explain' how much he craved for you lately. You'll let him have a taste of you, right?

And that's how he ended up with his head between your legs, eating you out like no one did before, letting out his frustration on you for all the things you did for the past few days.

Your sounds muffled by the running water, but even so, it made him try harder. Make you louder so he could hear you better.

He sucked, licked and then licked again on your clit, arms wrapped around you to keep you in place, dragging you back to him when you tried to get away. And all that work for what? Because he didn't even let you cum, letting go of you when you were so so close, turning you over, now facing the wall as he slowly got his cock inside of you.

"Hold still." he whispered in your ear, finally pushing his dick all the way in.

"It's slippery." you had nothing to hold onto, one wrong move and you're afraid you'll end up on the ground.

"Hold onto me." he finally started moving his hips, a slow movement at first. Enjoying the fact that he finally had you all to himself. One of his arms wrapped around you while the other was pressed against the wall, turning your face towards him so he could kiss you. It was nothing too wild, just the fact that you were alone was more than enough for the moment. But a few moments later, he felt this chill down his spine. Perhaps he left the door open, I mean, he did got into the bathroom without a single thought in his head, hurried to take his clothes off so he could join you. Even so, it made him fuck into you harder, holding you tighter in his arms and trying to forget about this unsettling feeling.

He in fact did left the door open, and you woke up with another uninvited guest in the bathroom.

"Make some space for me." the shower doors suddenly open, revealing Satoru who seemed happy with the on going event. "Don't be so greedy, Suguru." he laughed at the man who was glaring at him. "Give me some attention too, or I'll get sad." his hands were on you, turning you towards him while the dark haired man was still fucking you from behind. "Kiss me too, didn't you missed me?" he laughed as he kissed you. One of your hands was in Gojo's, wrapped around his aching cock and slowly jerking it.

You weren't left alone even for a moment. One fucking into you a bit too hard than you'd like in that moment, while the other seemed to want the same amount of attention. Both of them dragging you towards them, wanting to yank you away from the other.

Hands all over your body, and you didn't really know how to react. This was too much, even for them. This endless jealousy that took nowhere, especially when you didn't complained about it.

You didn't said a thing, did you? So you were alright with having both of them at the same time? Because if you keep being this submissive then they might get the wrong idea. But it was too later because they already figured something out, it was like it was telepathically. Just a quick look at and it was like they knew what the other was thinking.

Right, why fighting when they could work together? Give you something so good you won't be able to look at another man. Two was better than one after all.

With a quick movement, Suguru got out of you, a quick slap on your ass as he turned you around, to face him. Your back pressed against Satoru's chest as the dark haired man lowered his head to kiss you.

Gojo's lips were on your shoulder, a hand going down your body to your pussy and rubbing your clit.

You were sandwiched between them, you couldn't do a single move while they seemed to enjoy playing with you. Touching and groping you all over the place, kisses and marks left behind their hot touch as they keep exploring your body. They kept turning you around and placing you in a new position every time you were about to cum, edging you for what seemed like an eternity.

After torturing you for so long, someone finally opened the shower's doors, dragging you out of it and into the cold bathroom.

But somehow, they acted like nothing happened, softly wiping your body and getting you dry, wrapping a towel around you and then guiding you to another place inside the house.

And you ended up laying down on the couch all naked once again, with Gojo between your legs, positioning himself at your entrance while Suguru was right next to your head. You never really thought about it before, but you have absolutely no idea if you could take both of them, at the same time too. The idea was a bit scary, and yet it was happening at the moment.

You gulped, looking at the dark haired man, trying to tell him to take it easy. But he didn't wanted to do that.

Just from the way you look at him he haves the impression that you wanted him, like, really bad. And he could never say no to a pretty girl, especially you. I mean, if you wanted him, how could he say no?

"Look at me too." the white haired man didn't looked happy at the way you and his friend looked at each other.

"Don't you dare." Geto grabbed your face, pushing your cheeks together and making you look at him.

"But Y/N." Satoru said, slowly pushing his cock inside of you. "Don't you wanna see how you're taking me in?" he whined, making your eyebrows furrowed.

"She's busy with me. Can't you see?" the dark haired man got his dick right into your face without a warning, pushing the head past your lips and into your hot mouth, letting out a groan as he got moved his hips deeper.

"Don't I make you feel better?" Gojo said as he kept fucking into you, his thimb on your clit, rubbing it in an irregular motion. His words made Suguru to run a hand through your hair, grabbing it as he tried to move faster into your mouth, not wanting any of your moans out. Just the sounds you make as he kept fucking into your throat were more than enough, plus, he doesn't think he'll be able to keep it together if you do let out a moan, especially for that guy. "He's so mean, isn't he, baby?" the white haired man's words keep getting on Geto's nervers. Can you believe this fucker? Trying to talk to you when he's known for being silent in moments like this.

But perhaps Suguru had to step up his game too. What if this buffoon succeed on fooling you? So he let go of your hair, trying to change his strategy. "Let's change positions." he said as he got his dick out your mouth.

"Don't want to." the white haired man said, wrapping his hands around your thighs and dragging you closer to him.

"What do you say, baby?" Gojo gasped, he can't believe this guy is really trying to pull the same moves as him. "Don't you want to make me feel good too, hm?" there were too many eyes on you, and you couldn't be more embarrassed in the current situation.

"Alright." you didn't dared not to agree with them, because in the end you'll end up the one being fucked in there, and who knows what kind of plot they might be planning.

You ended up being flipped over, your ass in the air, and with your face right into Suguru's crotch.

You're being filled to the max, one in your mouth while the other fucks you from behind. There's no room left, and even if it was, you don't think you could take more than this.

"Come on, Y/N." the dark haired man moaned your name, a hand resting on your head as he was waiting for your reaction. The way you look at him was too cute, always trying harder to suck him off every time he lets out a moan or a prise. Aren't you being adorable?

"Baby." Satoru also let out a moan, a hand placed over your back, caressing your skin and making you clench around him. "I'm gonna cum. Cum with me?" he was usually not like this, but for you he decided to he a whining mess.

"Look at me." this was going nowhere again. But you were also desperate, so you can't really blame anybody. Plus, you kinda wanted them to fill you. No, you did wanted them to come all over you, fill you up so good that you'll still feel them even when they're not inside.

You were just as greedy as them. Trying to hold their hands as you came, and refusing to let go even after your high.

Sigh, well, this was about to be a long day.

Tagging:

@moonlight-pearls

[moontheoretist]

The hints were always there

I'm still playing through the Veilguard, but when it comes to the lore and possible retcons I feel like I have a vastly different stance than other people. I saw people being displeased and saying that DAV did ignore the canon or devs forgot about the established canon (which may have happened with so many revisions to this game, not gonna lie), but to me it's a case by case basis and so far I have no complaints (but admittedly I didn't finish the game yet, so it may still change).

For example: the entire thing with changed properties of the Blight is a sign that rules of the Blight within the world also changed. The game goes about it roughtly like this "long time ago Blight was even more nasty and bad than it's now, then Solas sealed it in the Fade that got separated from the mortal world, so when the Magisters entered the Black City and released some of it, it entered a vastly different world where there were no Fade and no Elven Gods". Which to me implies that the state of the world post-Veil and the fact that the Elven Gods were no longer in it affected the Blight. The world in which the Blight was born was long gone so it adapted accordingly. It became more passive despite still being operational, and got linked to the presence of the Archdemons (i.e. Blight exists, but doesn't happen on the larger scale unless there is a blighted Old God leading the charge (except of course underground where dwarves are battling it constantly). It found new ways to create the Darkspawn etc. because it was forced to do so to continue operating despite being cut from the source of its power.

Therefore it's not weird to me that all of the possible cures to the taint / Blight / the Calling talked about in the previous games / media aren't applicable in Veilguard anymore. Ofc they aren't. Blight is no longer a sickness in state of semi-active dormancy. It's no longer passive as it used to be. It's at full "fuck remission, imma strike again" stage doing whatever the hell it wants. You can't cure it with the old methods you knew anymore. You have to first improve the cures you found before in order to have a shot or beat the stronger virus now at all. So expecting all this old lore to be somehow relevant still seems excessive. Albeit I wouldn't say no to the game actually openly saying "we tried all those methods and each failed, this new Blight can't be cured by them".

TBF it seems that the hint that Elven Gods were always connected to the Blight was right there since the very beginning in DA: Origins already, otherwise the Old Gods wouldn't be so important for the Blights to happen. We just simply didn't know that the Old Gods and Evanuris were connected, even though for years we theorised they were connected in some way, if not one and the same. To my knowledge nobody ever proposed an idea that the Old Gods were basically glorified pets / war hounds for the tyranical elven gods. We were right tho that they were one and the same, as the dragons were their connection - speakers for the imprisoned Elven Gods.

In Veilguard it's very much implied during Solas' memories that all of the new Darkspawn we meet in DAV are in fact not new but just old. They simply had no way of existing without Fade World and the Elven Gods in the world, but now with the Veil weakening and two of the Elven Gods released upon this world via a powerful magical ritual that possibly weakened the Veil even more, Blight could finally become active in a way it wasn't for thousands of years. The same logic was also applied to elven artifacts that Veil Jumpers are dealing with in Arlathan forest. The ritual that Solas did and the releasing of the Elven Gods, it all affected the world in ways nobody knew it could before. Nobody knew how important or connected to the world Gods were or how powerful they truly were. As primordial spirits turned first people of the elven kind, they have far more intrinsic connection to and understanding of the world than any other race, except the dwarves so far (as dwarves turned out to truly be the children of the Titans that were actually the first inhabitants of Thedas as far as we know now). We don't know yet how humans and the Qunari factor in this (albeit I have some theories about the Qunari - in short they could have been created as soldiers / slaves that were supposed to be immune to the Blight thanks to the dragon blood they inherited, but it turned out they weren't and hence why they're referred to as a "mistake" or "beast of strange blood" with a "blood engorged with decay" (Corypheus) or having a "blood that doesn't belong to their people" (Kieran)) but it's undeniably true that elves and dwarves are connected to the world of Thedas in ways breaching human understanding. So it's not weird that world went wack when just two of the Elven Gods came back on top on Veil weakening and Titans already waking up in Inquisition.

I know what you will all say. "But what about Solas or Mythal?" Mythal doesn't count, because she never managed to get back her true form and kept existing in a state that is very similar to Anders' case of spirit + human merging. Solas doesn't count as he was asleep for thousands of years and when he woke up he was not even able to use any of the artifacts due to losing his powers (hence why he needed to consume Mythal's essence / soul). On top on that he also wasn't Blighted. He only counts as far as his ritual goes because it did wack to the world. (It fortunately didn't release more Blight, but did use shitton of magic that must have impacted the world where Veil was weakening all over already).

Not to mention how many things suddenly make sense.

Mirror in Mahariel's Origins being Blighted and Tamlen seeing a "great blackness" in it confirms that Ghilan'nain was connected to the Blight, as it was her mirror that Tamlen and Mahariel find - in DA2 it specifically has a symbol of a Halla on it to highlight it.

Dwarves not having dreams and being the only race that can't perform magic but also being able to perform it when they're born as Genlock Emissaries, mages in general getting magic power from the World of Dreams but when they're made tranquil loosing that ability and their dreams with it as well as the elves becoming magicless in the world where dreams and reality no longer coexist is all an expression and a result of Blight being created by the actions of the elves in the Elven-Dwarven war and by the creation of the Veil afterwards. (Like seriously it never struck me so much as it did when I played DAV - before I was like "oh yeah magic comes from the Fade" completely forgeting it's the dream realm that souls visit in dreams and go to after death).

The fact that the Blight song is always driving the Darkspawn to seek the closest Old God in order to blight it and take charge of the army of Darkspawn that otherwise is aimless without anyone to lead it. Blight probably designated them due to their link to the Elven Gods and used them as proxy in place of the missing gods because it was already accustomed to being used by Evanuris in their wars, hence why Darkspawn need Archdemon for the Blight to happen - they can't invade the surface without a commander.

There is probably more of those stuff.

The more I keep thinking about it the more I feel like this:

It was all just THERE. All. This. Time. In plain fucking sight. But we didn't get it, because we lacked the necessary contexts to get it all!

We thought that the Blight was only connected to the Titans, but we also knew before that the Elven Gods were possibly blighted thanks to what happened to Corypheus and other Magisters Sidereal. We just didn't connect the dots that Blight may albo have been used by the Elven Gods in similar way Corypheus used it. Hell, it's so ironic that in some theories we considered a Blight an immune system reaction of the body to the invading viruses and now it turned out that the Elven Gods - the ones that were considered the first invaders by the Titans, became their tool to spread the Blight (even tho they think they lead it as all powerful rulers it's very much possible they're just useful idiots). It doesn't matter that the Evanuris were the ones who actually created the Blight while seeking more power (via Titans' souls), what matters is that it was all connected and Blight was punishment meant for THEM.

The fact is they destroyed their own Empire with this blighted power, no matter how much they gloat about how powerful they've become.

No matter what they say, Titans' dreams have already won.

[hees-mine]

L. Heeseung - Wrong One

Pairing: heeseung X fem reader!

Warnings: mentions of smut, cursing, reader slaps heeseung, friends with benefits, alcohol, angst.

Genre: friends with benefits.

WC: 4,582k

-

“Are you staying the night?” You asked heeseung, the guy you’ve been friends with benefits with for four months, as he rolled over on the opposite side of the bed, breathing heavily.

You two had just finished your weekly routine. By routine, you meant the both of you fucking every last ounce of energy out of each other.

He wipes his palm over his face, wiping away the sweat that gathered at his hairline. “Nah,” he says and sighs shortly after. “I never stay, you know that.” he sits up on the bed once he’s regained enough stamina.

“Yeah…. I do know that” you reply disappointedly and pulled the blankets up to your chest while he stands up, searching for all his discarded clothes.

“So….” He starts out rolling the used condom down his shaft and tying it off before tossing it in your trash bin. “I was thinking we could do it at my place next week. My parents are out of town on vacation.” he pulls his boxers around his waist and then grabs his shirt that was thrown off in a corner, slipping it over his head. “That way, we can go for as long as we want and be as loud as we want to.” he turns to you and gives you a flirty wink, to which you only respond with an airy laugh and a forced half smile. “So, what do you think? Will you be coming over?” He questions once he’s fully dressed.

“Y-yeah, I will be.” You try your best to sound convincing like the idea of meeting him just for sex the next week was just as exciting as it was four months ago when this whole friends-with-benefits thing started.

“Okay, I’ll see you next week, don’t be late.” he heads to the door to your bedroom, slipping on his shoes.

“I won’t” you smile half heartedly and without so much as a bye he opens the door leaving you to clean up all by yourself.

“I know,” he smirks. “You can’t resist me.”

-

You on your way? It’s fifteen past ten.

You barely even noticed the alert tone go off on your phone if it wasn’t for the music in the club changing tracks you wouldn’t have.

Rolling your eyes at the screen, you dryly reply.

That was tonight? I totally forgot

You send to him.

How could you forget about me? We’ve been doing this for the past four months without fail.

He sits up on his bed, squinting slightly at his phone screen.

Must’ve slipped my mind once I had a few drinks.

It didn’t, but you couldn’t see him, not because of how you were feeling tonight. You needed some drinks to get your mind off of him, and you’re so glad your friend decided to accompany you as well.

Drinks? How many did you have? And where did you get them from?

He chews on his index fingernail softly while waiting for a reply.

I’m too drunk to answer all that, but I’m out with some friends.

You reply and down another shot, not caring about your missed date with heeseung.

I can come pick you up, give you some water, and we can finish where we left off if you want

That’s okay. I got a ride.

Oh

From who?

His name is Jake, but I really have to go now. I’ll talk to you sometime later.

Text me when you get home.

Heeseung sighed putting his phone aside and sighing. “Just great now what am I gonna do?” He looked down at the tent in his lap and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t disappointed you couldn’t make it he literally changed his sheets and took a shower and got his room ready for the occasion only for you to cancel on him.

Oh well, his parents would still be on vacation for another six days, and you and him could make up for lost time, but for now, he was gonna go to bed and try to forget about the bulge in his underwear.

-

Next week arrived, and you still hadn’t gotten together with heeseung at his place nor at school. Even though he texted you every day, you still hadn’t found time to fit him into your schedule at school. You’d always be running “late” or “not feeling well,” and you left all his text on seen, leaving him to believe you were avoiding him.

Especially after it had been two weeks since you hadn’t bothered to get in touch with him, could you really be that busy for two whole weeks?

Luckily he was able to flag you down today before you left school. “Y/n wait up!” He calls and you immediately stop in your tracks and turn around to face him for the first time in weeks you couldn’t avoid him forever.

“Hey,” you smile softly at him.

“Hey,” he says, sorta out of breath from running to catch up to you. “Just wanted to catch up. We haven’t seen each other in quite a while.”

“Yeah, about that, sorry.” You lowered your head, unable to make eye contact with him. “I’ve just been busy.”

“I see” he starts to walk beside you. “How about now? Do you got any free time for me?” He turns his head to the side to look at you.

“Sure,” you say, feeling unsure you wanted to be with him. You really did, but you wanted more than just sex, and he couldn’t give that to you. Sadly, he made it obvious, so distancing yourself from him felt like the best decision.

“Good, it’s only been two weeks, but I feel like I’m going crazy without feeling you.” he goes behind your back, hugging you as you both waddle down the street to his home. “Hmm, come to my place,” he whispers in your ear, kissing down your neck as he holds you by your torso. “Please?”

“Okay, hee.” You could feel his lips curling into a smile against your skin.

“Hmm, thank goodness I need to feel you so fucking bad” he nibbles your ear rubbing his cheek against yours as he walks you to his house.

Once you enter his house you trudge upstairs after him the sinking feeling making it’s way to your stomach as much as you wanted him the feeling of knowing you would never be with him fully was making you feel down and you barely even wanted to have this friends with benefits relationship with him anymore.

He kicked off his shoes and tossed his backpack to the side. “Come here baby” he sat down on the bed and patted his lap calling you over to him.

Read full story HERE!

-

[maddy-k-reads-all-day]

Butterflies! Kate Is Alive AU Part Two!

Butterflies!

Riley sat there, rather stunned. Despite everything Kate knew, it did not do more than confirm what Riley had already suspected. The information was interesting, for sure, but it didn’t lead them any closer to their goal. Then again, if it would then Kate wouldn’t have given up. I suppose. Riley thought to themself.

“Look, there are some tapes scattered around this room if you want to watch them…” Kate sighed.

“Are you going to stick around to watch them with me?” 

“No… I’ve already watched them all… over and over… you know that, I gave you my notes. But I suppose two eyes are better than one. Let me know if you catch something I guess…” she turned to leave. Riley had never heard her sound so drained before. “Wait! Amanda has been talking about you! She says she misses you, and wants to talk to you again! Please, just this once, will you watch a tape with me?” 

“Fine. But afterwards I really do have to go.” She pulled a tape out of a bug catching net and handed it to Riley, who put it in the VCR. 

The tape begins with Amanda coming out of a store, silently staring at an at-home butterfly habitat for kids. She seems content. There are little caterpillars crawling around inside.

“Don’t worry little guys… you’re safe. I’m going to take care of you…” She says gently in a soft, caring tone. The tape changes to Amanda’s living room, where she carefully carries the habitat into the room and places it on the couch. Wooly is already there.

“Whatcha got there Amanda?” he asks. 

“For today’s episode, we’re raising butterflies, remember?” 

“I think we did that in elementary school a long time ago…” Wooly remincises, “It was fun! Until all the butterflies… died for some reason. Hmm…”

“Well there is absolutely no way these ones are dying on my watch!” Amanda announces. She realizes that the episode has started already. “Oh, hi there! Didn’t notice you for a second, sorry. I’m Amanda!” she beams. There is an awkward pause, like Amanda is waiting for something, but Wooly seems to be staring into the distance, deep in thought. “I’m Amanda.” she repeats, but gets no response. “Whatever.” She scoffs and looks around for somewhere to put the habitat. She sees the lamp on the table and a devilish grin forms on her face. 

“Gee, I wish we had a TABLE to put this habitat on!” she says, looking at the screen smugly. Riley taps on the lamp. She grins mischievously, and walks over to the lamp. She shoves it off the table causing it to break and make a super loud crashing sound on the floor.

“Huh?! What are you doing?!” Wooly gasps. “You’re going to scare the caterpillars!” Amanda panics and looks at her caterpillars. 

“Shh… shh… it’s okay little fellas you’re absolutely safe here.” Amanda says softly. Wooly rolls his eyes, then he glances at the screen. He seems surprised, then a little annoyed. 

“Oh… the episode has started already?” 

“Yeah Wooly.” Amanda scoffs. She looks at the screen again and does a double take. Her eyes widen and tears start to form “No… no way… it can’t be…” her voice cracks, “Ka-” 

“Don’t say my name! They’ll hear you!” Kate snaps. Amanda flinches a bit, Riley does too. It is very unlike Kate to speak in such a harsh tone. She seems… scared. 

“You’re alive…” Amanda cries, “I can’t believe you’re alive.” 

“Yeah Amanda… I’m alive…” Kate sighed, sounding completely exhausted. Amanda’s smile fades a bit. 

“Today we’re raising caterpillars into butterflies! These ones are called Monarchs!” Amanda beams, “Oh… but I guess you already know that huh? Heh heh.” She laughs nervously. 

“Say, why don’t you help us!” Wooly suggests.  

“Yeah! See…” Amanda pulls out a diagram, “Butterflies start out as eggs… then they become caterpillars… then they turn into a chrysalis and then into a butterfly!” 

“Ooh! Ooh! What do they turn into after that?” Wooly asks eagerly. Amanda gives him a weird look, as this is a very strange question. 

“They die, Wooly. You know that.” 

“O-Oh… that’s… really sad.” 

“Not really, that’s just the cycle of life isn’t it? Honestly I think they’re kind of lucky, they get to fly south for the winter. I bet they see all kinds of different places.” 

“Mmm… I don’t know… I feel like there could be dangers along the way. I mean, not every butterfly makes it right?” Wooly says. Amanda ignores him.

“We have to help these caterpillars grow into butterflies! Do you remember the cycle I showed you before?” She asks. “I'll start us off, the eggs have already hatched into caterpillars, so what comes next?” A voice prompt shows up on the screen. 

“Shoe.” Riley replied. Amanda giggles a little bit.

“What the?” Wooly mumbles looking completely confused. “That's not right.”

“Yeah I know Wooly.” Amanda grumbles. “Come on, try again.” the voice prompt appears again.

“Grasshopper.” Riley said with a mischievous grin. Amanda looks kind of mad now. 

“Come on, didn't you learn this in grade school?!” Amanda snaps.

“Maybe they failed grade school…” Wooly comments. Wow Wooly, rude. Kate paused the tape.

“Riley what are you doing?!” She hissed.

“Pissing them off on purpose.” Riley shrugged. 

“Why?!”

“Dunno, they reveal more information when you do that I guess.”

“Really…” Kate sounded intrigued. She walked over and unpaused the tv. 

“Alright.” Amanda takes a deep breath, “let's try this again. After the egg hatches into the caterpillar, what happens?” the voice prompt appears once more.

“Frog.” Kate answered. Riley started cracking up. Amanda's jaw drops. 

“Riley! You are SUCH a bad influence!” Wooly groans in frustration. Now everyone is staring at him with surprise. “Wh-whoa… what'd I do?”

“I've never heard Wooly… ever refer to a viewer by name before.” Kate mumbled, tapping her chin with interest. 

“Me neither.” Riley said.

“Wooly… you just called Riley by their name.” Amanda points out. He immediately covers his mouth, looking incredibly freaked out for some reason. “Frog… Grasshopper… SHOE what kind of answers even ARE those?!” Amanda shouts in annoyance, “The answer is-”

“Chrysalis!” Wooly shouts out suddenly. 

“That's right. Chrysalis.” Amanda says, unenthusiastically. The caterpillars crawl up and begin to weave their chrysalises. 

“Ha! Yessss!” Wooly appears quite proud of himself. Amanda rolls her eyes. 

“Alright and out form the chrysalis emerges a…” the voice prompt appears again. 

“Dragonfly!” Riley calls out. This time Amanda is not amused.

“Do you think this is funny?” Amanda says, her right eye twitching a bit. 

“You seemed to think it was before.” Wooly points out.

“It's not funny anymore! It hasn't been for a long time!” she shouts, stamping her foot. Red glitches cover the screen. “I'm so sick of all of this!”

“Amanda, don't say that!” Wooly says worriedly looking at the screen.

“DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Amanda screams in his face, Wooly puts his hands up defensively, “I hate this place! I hate you!” Wooly suddenly looks very hurt. The tape glitches red again. Amanda starts to morph into her demon form. Wooly backs away slowly. This time it feels a lot more eerie. Like Amanda is completely in control, she almost seems calm. Too calm. “What are you so afraid of, huh?!” She says calmly, almost too calmly.  

“I- um… I… I…Whoa!” Wooly trips onto his butt and freezes up. “I'm no-not afraid!” he says defensively, Amanda looms over him. “Yo-you don't know anything!” tears start welling up in his eyes. Amanda looks disappointed, she returns back to normal and turns back to the screen with a fake smile on her face. 

“When the caterpillar emerges from the chrysalis what does it become?” She asks with an eerie cheerfulness. The voice prompt appears once more. 

“Butterfly.” Kate said quickly. There is a long pause before Amanda says anything. She just stares at them for a long time with a creepy smile. 

“Amanda?” Wooly mumbles.

“That's right!” She beams, “A butterfly!” The tape glitches and they hear the brief sound of Amanda screaming but it's glitched out. She returns to a smiling state once again. Wooly looks seriously disturbed. 

“Amanda, are you feeling okay?”

“Never--- better Wooly, why?” Amanda smiles. Wooly looks unconvinced. The tape glitches again, Wooly looks startled.

“That's right!” Amanda beams, “A butterfly!” Just then, the butterflies all came out of their chrysalises. “Look! Our butterflies are all grown up now!” 

“Oooooh… they're so pretty.” Wooly grins, he leans on the couch's arm, watching them happily. Amanda sits on the floor and watches them as well.

“Now that they're all grown up, we get to do my favorite part!” Amanda says excitedly. 

“Hm? And what's that?” Wooly asks, also getting a little excited. Amanda picks up the habitat. The tape glitches and suddenly they are in the backyard. Now Wooly looks nervous. “So… what are we doing Amanda?” 

“Letting them go!” Amanda cheers. 

“What?! NO!!!” Wooly shouts, the tape glitches. He snatches the habitat from her and hugs it protectively. “These are our friends! We didn't even get to have them that long!” 

“But they deserve to be free!” Amanda argues. Wooly looks like he's about to argue back but then the tape glitches. He looks down at the habitat sadly. The sparkle in his eyes goes dim. 

“I… guess you're right…” he sighs, handing the habitat gently to Amanda, who looks at him with confusion and a bit of concern. Just then, the opossum shows up. 

“Oh um, hi there opossum!” Amanda says awkwardly. “Look at these butterflies we raised, pretty right?” The opossum runs up to her and starts trying to grab at the habitat. “Wha? No! You can't have this!” She snaps, pulling it away from him. He snatches it from her. 

“He's gonna hurt the butterflies! Do something!” Wooly shouts.

“What do we do?” Kate asked. Riley taps their finger on the VCR screen. The opossum clearly notices them, he stops for a moment, then glares at Riley directly in the eye and drops the habitat on the ground.

“No!” Amanda and Wooly shout. They wait a moment, the opossum does nothing.

“Wait… they look… fine…” Amanda says, sounding relieved. 

“Now we just need to carefully take them back inside where they’re safe…” Wooly whispers. The opossum glares at them and opens the door to the habitat. All the butterflies fly out of it.  

“No! No! NO! Come back!” Wooly cries out, trying to reach for them, but Amanda watches in awe.

“Isn't it beautiful?” Amanda smiles. 

“Beautiful?!” Wooly says angrily, “th-they’re gone! We lost them!”

“Wooly… they can’t stay with us forever…” Amanda says gently. Wooly looks at her sadly. 

“I know…” Wooly sighs sadly, flopping down onto the grass, “But I'm going to miss them.”

“Me too…”

“But you wanted to let them go!” 

“I wanted to set them free.” Amanda explains, “Look at them, they’re right where they belong. Aren’t you happy for them?” 

“They would've been safer with us…” Wooly grumbles. 

“But now they’re happy… now they’re free.” Amanda says longingly, “I wish I was a butterfly.” 

“Why’s that?” Wooly asks. 

“So I can fly far far away.” Amanda stretches her arms out, feeling the sunshine and the breeze. Her eyes seem to sparkle. She lays down in the grass and watches the butterflies fly around above her. 

“Butterflies don’t live that long, you know.” Wooly pouts. Amanda rolls her eyes. 

“Better a short and happy life than a long and miserable one.” She grumbles.

“You think so?”

“Yeah…” Amanda sighs, sounding a bit more at peace. Wooly stares at her for a bit, looking like he wants to say something. Then he looks away and stands up. 

“There are other kinds of butterflies right? Don't you have any books on them?” Wooly asks. 

“Mmm yeah I think so.” Amanda replies nonchalantly, without even glancing up at him. 

“Don't moths also come from caterpillars?”

“Sure they do… why?” Amanda answers, looking suspicious of Wooly. 

“Just curious… I kinda forgot… it's uh… been awhile…” Wooly laughs sadly. Amanda looks sad for a moment then shakes it off.

“AN-Y-WAY!” She shouts jumping up off the lawn, “That's how caterpillars become butterflies!” The credit music begins to play. “WAIT- WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT!!!!” Amanda calls out frantically. “Before you go I- I need to ask you something. K-" she freezes, remembering Kate's words from before. “Fr-friend…” she says awkwardly, “Are you bored of me?” The voice prompt appears. 

“NO!! NEVER!” Kate shouted. Amanda's eyes widen. 

“But… you left… and you started making other people watch the tapes for you… I mean don't get me wrong I like them both but… I missed you…” Amanda whimpers. “I missed talking to you… and I finally remembered who you were but you disappeared and I had so much I wanted to talk to you about…”  Amanda cries softly. The voice prompt hasn’t disappeared yet. 

“Well… we can talk now.” Kate says softly. 

“Okay… um… Di-did you get the cookies? Did you like them?” 

“Cookies? What cookies?” Kate asks Riley, sounding extremely confused.

“We… got you some cookies… and sent them to you.”

“Oh… I'm sorry I never got any cookies… but I wasn't home so I wouldn't know.” 

“I see…” Amanda says sadly. 

“Um… well it's good to see you're back and okay!” Wooly says nervously. Amanda looks surprised at this.

“You didn't like K- her…” Amanda points out. 

“Well unlike a certain someone I know I don't wish the people I don't like would DIE.”

“Well maybe you should, Wooly.” Amanda mumbles. “Maybe we should want them dead…” wait… she's not talking about us. Who is she referring to? Probably the people at Hameln, right? Riley theorised.

“Look if this is about Hameln I'm sure they had a good reason-”

“Good reason?! Are you out of your MIND?!” Amanda snaps. Wooly falls silent. “You don't really still believe that nonsense do you?!”

“I don't know…” Wooly pouts. Amanda shakes her head with an annoyed expression.

“I’m not completely sure what's going on but… don't be a stranger… okay Kate?” Amanda smiles sadly. The tape ended and fell out of the machine. Kate slowly begins to break down in tears. 

“I'm sorry Rebecca… I'm sorry… I can't save you… I know I can't save you…” Kate sobbed.

“What do you mean, save?” Riley questions.

“I mean… getting her out… bringing her back…” 

“I don't think we can do that… but… I think we can set her free… her and all the kids…” Riley explained. “I mean… she will never be able to return to how she was… but I think she would rather be free than trapped in these tapes like this…”

“I can't do it… I can't let her go… I promised Sam… I promised…” 

“Sam would want her to be at peace too…” Riley sighed.

“I know… I know…” 

“So will you help me? Can we stop Hameln? Together?”

“You don't know what you're up against!” Kate argued. 

“Maybe…” Riley mumbled, “But I want to try!” Just then there is a knock on the door.

“Kate… it's me.” an unfamiliar voice says. Kate immediately stands up and opens the door. 

“Wait here, I'll introduce you… in a bit. You can handle the puzzle till then right?” She asked. Riley looked behind them. A children's butterfly puzzle is now on the table. They looked back at Kate and nodded. Kate nodded back and left. Riley heard some muffled conversation on the other side of the door. They looked at the puzzle. The pieces are gone. They looked around the room and found a piece with butterfly eggs on it. They placed it into the puzzle. Maybe I need to rewatch the tape to solve this one. Riley thought.

“You did WHAT?! Have you LOST your MIND?!” Kate shouted. What's going on? They wondered. Well hopefully she'll fill me in later. They take the tape and put it back into the VCR. 

The episode begins with Amanda and Wooly sitting on the couch watching some caterpillars in a butterfly habitat. She notices us.

“Oh hi again! I'm Amanda!” She beams. She waits again for Wooly, who is still watching the caterpillars, kicking his feet in the air happily. “He's in his own little world, huh?” Amanda grumbles. She elbows him sharply in the arm. 

“Ow! What is it?!” Wooly snaps, sounding really annoyed then he notices us..”Oh… um… and I'm Wooly!”

“So she isn't here this time?” Amanda questions. The voice prompt appears.

“She's talking to someone outside.”

“Oh, probably our other friend!” Amanda smiles. “Today we're raising caterpillars!” 

“Say, why don’t you help us?” Wooly points out. Amanda pulls out the diagram, she looks at it for a bit with disinterest. “Amanda?” 

“You remember the life cycle right?” she asks. The voice prompt appears.

“Yeah.” Riley replied. 

“And you’re not going to mess with us again right?” 

“Maybe.” Riley shrugged. Amanda and Wooly look annoyed. “Okay fine, I won’t.” Gotta speedrun this anyway.

“I’ll start us off… the eggs have already turned into caterpillars, so what comes next?”

“Chrysalis.”

“Correct!” Amanda grins, snapping her fingers. The caterpillars crawl up and start to form their chrysalises. Riley paused the tape and looked around for the chrysalis piece. Once they found it, they put it in the puzzle. They turn back to the TV and find the chrysalises fully-formed much faster than before. They walked back to the TV and hit play. 

“Whoooaaa…” Wooly marvels.  

“When the caterpillar emerges from the chrysalis what does it become?” 

“Butterfly.” Riley answers. 

“That’s right! A butterfly!” she grins. Just then, the butterflies come out of their chrysalises. Riley paused the tape and looked for the butterfly puzzle piece and added it to the puzzle. When they returned to the tv the butterflies had already emerged. 

“Look! Our butterflies are all grown up now!” Amanda beams. Wooly looks around awkwardly, like he wants to say something. Amanda sits on the couch watching the butterflies happily. “You’re right Wooly, they are really pretty.” Wooly doesn’t come and watch them this time. He looks uncomfortable and unsure, like there’s something on his mind. “You’re not going to watch them?”

“WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!” Wooly shouts, then he panics a bit like he didn’t mean to say that.

“What are you talking about?” Amanda says, confused and kind of offended. 

“YOU! You were acting… strange earlier!” 

“Earlier? What do you mean earlier?” Amanda asks mockingly. Wooly scowls at her. 

“Nevermind.” he sighs, “it’s nothing.” Amanda shrugs. 

“Are you ready for my favorite part?” Amanda grins. 

“How did you do that?” 

“Do what?!” Amanda snaps. 

“La-last time they watched the tape! You turned into your demon form and nothing bad happened!” 

“Yeah so?” 

“What do you mean yeah, so?!” Wooly shouts. “No no… that’s not what I meant to ask atl all… ugh forget it!” 

“Really? Because it seems like you have something to say…”

“I uh… um… hmm….” Wooly thinks really hard for a couple seconds, “uuuuh ugh… no… I… mmm… You-” his voice gets really quiet… he sounds almost… small all of the sudden, “You don’t really hate me do you?” 

“What was that?” Amanda asks, looking confused. She didn’t hear him.

“Nothing. I forgot.” 

“Okay then… So can we let the butterflies go now?” “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.” he groans. The tape fast-forwards on its own and ends. That was weird. Riley thought. They turn around and the next tape is behind them.

Authors Note: Experimenting with some new fic stuff to make it feel more like the games! Also did a lot more research this time to keep everything in character. Obviously though, this is a direct continuation of the second game... and I don't know what will happen then. So some stuff is kind of just made up on the fly. I have no idea if Amanda is actually able to control her demon form or not, but I thought it was a cool idea so I tried it.

Constructive criticism is totally welcome btw, if I didn't say so before! I'm writing fics to improve my writing skills, so seriously, any feedback is welcome (as long as it's not like... straight up rude. If you say "this sucks" with no elaboration that's not constructive criticism).

[artist-heart83]

You know what? Today I wake up to yap about my smg4 fanfics, about the process and stuff, so get ready guys, prepare to read a lot.

SMG4 Fanfics made by Lilac_Heart, aka, me but with a different username

Disclaimer. They’re 8 fics at moment, but only gonna talk about 6, mostly because there is nothing special to say about the first one and the new gen fic is still uploading, so it’s not finished.

I care about you (BoMG1)

The idea came out when I was brainstorming comics ideas, but I only got this funny drawing:

Then I got an idea: “a comic where Bob got badly injured and One heal his scars, that’s sound like an amazing idea”.

Buuuut, I was brainstorming the ideas of how the comic should go A particular idea made me realize this work better as a fic, I say: “fuck the comic, let’s make a fanfic”.

Can’t remember if the idea that Bob could get badly injured in one of his business was based in Guns Don’t Scare Me from @briandraws, but I do know I have a few bomg1 fics from him as reference for descriptions and other stuff once I did the english translation.

Bob bring back the nickname of “pretty eyes” to One, is a reference to Glowing Eyes.

Scrap content that I found in the spanish draft!

Instead of Smg2 going by himself to find some pills for Bob, originally it was Smg1 who sent him.

A lot of scenes were extended: Bob and Smg2 conversation about the blades; the “confession” of smg1, which was thanks to Two; Two constantly teasing the couple; the ending.

An actual conversation about if the date would happen, which was between Two and Bob.

Human touch (Marware)

Marware but they just start their relationship. Also, Puzzles touch starved.

Original title from the spanish draft: “Besos para ti” translated into “Kisses for you”, which the original idea was Mario kissing Puzzles.

Just because I really need more fanfics where they are just being soft, and when Mario kisses Puzzles and hugs him ough… So that was the main idea, but I need a “how?” And “why?” Then boom, touch-starved Puzzles.

Obviously I made this fic way before we know about Puzzles family, so let’s pretend when Puzzles have affection of his dad was when he was very young, alright?

The idea of Puzzles not having a hug or any kind of affection since long time ago was based on a prompt I found on Pinterest, and I have a bunch of tabs of how to write a touch-starved person.

Desiring to become a human, so I can kiss you properly (Marware)

Before anyone ask. Yes, me putting the HDR Trio was necessary for many plot reasons as you can see in the fic.

Also, first time I straight went to doing the english version instead of doing a spanish version to then translate it. Huge thanks to my uncle who give a huge boost of confidence when he told I managed english perfectly hehehe.

This fic was a pure excuse just to finally write them making out, so imagine my surprise when people love it and one of my favorite artists made fanart and I swear to god every time I remember it, it feels like this:

Also hi @lizaluvsthis

The illusion disks are from fnaf and I had to look up for any info that could explain to me how they work, just understand the basics and then I did whatever I want because I couldn’t understand it correctly.

Also, I don’t if it’s just me, but I feel the fight was forced for some reason, is either that or I just feel like this every time I reread the fic:

The Dilemma (BadgeHunter)

The biggest one at the moment, and this one have a lot to unpack here.

Original idea from @ominus-potato, which I expand and change a few things:

List of the headcanons that were used for the story:

Mirror headcanon, come from this post. Huge thanks for @izbiz12 for coming with this one.

Hal Jr. having a body comes from the idea of @blu193, which was the high inspiration to him give him a body.

Hal overworking himself is a common thing I found out scrolling in both Blu and Bear profiles, bring by IzBiz.

With “fresh scars” I really wanna implied that Shroomy already have some previous scars, another call back to Blu because she was the one who have the idea of Shroomy having scars for the bear encounter.

Junior being in scouts is actually an idea from Potato, which cool idea.

In the scene when Shroomy and Hal went to the office of the police officer, there was meant to be a scene where Shroomy looked at the picture frame that was on the desk, which was a family picture of Hal, his wife, and Junior. Cut off for unknown reasons.

Shroomy, Hal, Karen, Swag, and Chris being friends is a personal headcanon of mine. Also, Hal leaving Junior to Karen to take care of him is my favorite headcanon, and Brian and I share the same brain cell lmao.

Cozy and soft (BoMG1)

Purely made this because I was craving for BoMG1 content, thanks to this drawing I got inspiration as well, Brian marware fic which has the same concept.

It’s the shortest fic I made after a while, which was the main idea, didn’t want to do something long.

A few references to Glowing Eyes (again):

One got scared by Bob eyes.

Bob getting a copy of the apartment keys.

The mention of a broken window.

Nightmare and Comfort (BadgeHunter)

Idea that I got when I wake up at 7 am. Which the general idea was Hal comforting Shroomy about a nightmare/memory from his past.

This is time I used @bear-boi-5 headcanon about how the aftermath of the bite was. Nothing like Shroomy told in Mario Babies, of course.

I decided that Anti would have control of the body, mostly because he was the most affected of the accident for obvious reasons, also I love Anti, so I would used this opportunity.

I have to avoid mentioning any alcoholic drinks name, because I drink but I have zero idea what are they, soooo… yeah only beer was mentioned because is the one with less alcohol by volume, at least what this post say.

Anti laughing when he gets drunk, is actually based in one of the effects that happened to me.

The dynamic between Anti and Hal is quite complicated, considering the personality of Anti. They tolerate each other and they have to resolved their differences because of Shroomy and Hal hanging out more.

Important to say that after this, Anti would start having feeling for Hal after he understand what Shroomy see on him. Would this cause problems? Not sure, but until further notice, probably yes :)

— — — — —

Hahaha I just love yap about my fics and all the process behind them, is super fun and I actually wanna share this with all of you because you guys are cool and also there is a inspiration behind those stories.

Now, if you excuse I have to get back to do some stuff :]

[none-ofthisnonsense]

The kids don't ever mention Wales at all - they have lived their entire lives in Dorset in the same place. The Cardiff line is very brief and just inserted as a piece of small talk within the show, and the character only has the faintest of accents (to the point I only discovered he was from Wales when rewatching the show). It's also possible he could be from an English family that moved.

Definitely noting that bit about the family and the cultural longing (we know basically nothing about his own family outside of his wife and kids)!

The line is just "Where are you from originally?" "Cardiff. Moved down here 13 years ago for work." (just rewatched the scene where it's said. Which is also the most awkward dinner scene I've ever seen in a series.) I realise I'm slightly off on the timeline - he would have lived in Cardiff until he was 25, so that's at least a decent chunk of time. He would have been born in 1975 (character is 38 in 2013), for additional context.

Anyway. Thank you for your already detailed response, I've definitely got some more ideas now!

Hiya!

I was wondering if you think a person who grew up in Cardiff in the 80s would a) speak Welsh fluently and b) pass on some Welsh to his kids? This person would have been living in Dorset for at least fifteen years and probably working a bit out of Wales before that.

(If you've watched it, I'm wondering about Joe Miller from Broadchurch.)

Asking you as the resident Welsh Person on Tumblr that I know (and I know there would be a great deal of variation anyway).

(I'm particularly wondering because I don't know if Welsh was commonly taught in schools at the time...)

Thank you!

Extremely unlikely. Are the kids still in Cardiff? Or did they grow up there? Because they might be Welsh speaking, but no, an 80s child would have been lucky to get a peripatetic Welsh teacher come and teach them basic phrases and vocab for one hour a week, assuming they were in a mid-to-good Welsh school. There was a Welsh medium school or two in Cardiff at that time, but demand dramatically outstripped supply and places were fiercely competitive; even so, that could feasibly be another origin, though they're likely to be socially English-speaking in that case. It was possible to live in a Welsh language community at that point, but it was a relatively hidden community within the city.

With that said, it wouldn't be impossible for them to be a Cardiff-based branch of a Welsh-speaking family, and/or their parents were Welsh language activists probably in the Free Wales Army; so, if this is for a character, you can make it happen if you so choose. My friend Dan is a Welsh-speaking comedian in that age bracket, and his family were FWA - he describes them as being like if the IRA was staffed and run entirely by the Chuckle Brothers. My Dad once accidentally hitched a ride with a screamingly drunk FWA member who told him he was on his way to blow up Cardiff with a bomb in the back seat, but the guy hit a lamppost when he tried to stop the car for Dad to get out, and then seemingly went to the pub instead. Cardiff was not blown up. Absolute scenes on the lads. Fucking shambles, the lot.

If he didn't grow up Welsh speaking, mind, and didn't get to learn it in school, there is very likely to be a cultural longing, there. A bitter wish that he could have. So, if that appeals more, there's that. Also, he would be able to say good morning, good night, slow, thank you, and I like coffee (bore da, nos da, araf, diolch, rwy'n hoffi coffi.) So there's that.

[hardly-an-escape]

Hope, Actually | Buck/Tommy | 2100 words | rated T

on the last day of Christmas, this writer gave to you... some BuckTommy holiday fluff! Buck watches Love Actually and gets an idea. tags: makeup fic, christmas, love actually, tooth rotting fluff, egregious overuse of italics

Buck gets the idea three days before Christmas.

He and Tommy have been talking again, is the thing. Trying to be friends. It's tentative and a little stilted sometimes and it's… fine. Talking only makes Buck want to jump Tommy's bones about 20% of the time, and peel his own skin off an additional 30% of the time. So that leaves 50% normal conversation, which is fine.

The fact that he's still painfully in love with Tommy is maybe a little less fine, but whatever. Can you even still be in love with a person if you never said you love them in the first place? Can you love them more? Because that's what it feels like. Every time he grabs a beer with Tommy and Chim and laughs for an evening over their latest ridiculous call, he loves him a little more. Every time they text, every time they end up at the same scene or the same bar, he falls a little harder.

But they're trying to be friends, trying to be cool; so Buck takes all that love and puts it away, smashes it down and swallows it and pushes it deep into his belly, and when he feels like it's going to overflow and turn into words he takes the excess and puts it in an imaginary box and shoves it deep inside an imaginary closet. There's probably some kind of irony there, a man taking these feelings he has for another man and putting them in a closet. Buck doesn't want to think too closely about it, to be honest.

And then three days before Christmas he's over at Maddie and Chimney's house. Jee-Yun has finally gone to bed, and they're flipping back and forth between random Christmas movies and drinking wine. Well, Buck and Chim are drinking wine, and Maddie is drinking sparkling grape juice and making a face after every other sip.

"Ooh, Love Actually!" she says excitedly as Chimney channel surfs. "Buck, have you ever seen this one?"

"No… Tommy and I were going to watch it together. I guess it doesn't matter now. He said he wanted to wait until after Thanksgiving, that's why we didn't. Before," Buck says heavily.

"I remember he told me once that it was his favorite movie," Chimney says neutrally. "That was a long time ago, though."

"Yeah, he said… he said it comes across as pretty dated. He said he probably wouldn't see it the same way if he watched for the first time now," Buck says, the words suddenly tripping over themselves to get out of his mouth. He can feel the glance his sister and her husband exchange over his head. "It's like junk food, you know, like… you don't eat a Big Mac because it's a good burger, you eat it because it's what you want, because it's the same every time and there's something comforting in that, even if it's objectively not great. Tommy said… he said he thought there are better Christmas movies, and way better rom coms, but there'll always be something kind of perfect and comforting about this one…" he trails off.

"Do you wanna skip it tonight?" Chimney asks, surprisingly gently.

"No. No, it's okay, we can watch it. I don't mind," Buck says. "But I'm going to open another bottle of wine."

"God, now that you mention it, I could kinda go for a Big Mac right now," Maddie says reflectively.

Later, a little too drunk to drive home, Buck curls up in the middle of the guest bed and lets the movie swirl aimlessly through his thoughts. Tommy was right, he thinks, about it being pretty dated – he can see how some of the stories, which might have hit romantic beats in the mid-2000s, just come off as clunky, or even creepy, 20 years later.

But Buck can also see how it got under people's skin – can guess how it got under Tommy's skin. Even in the clunky stories there's a thread running through, a bigger idea about the diversity of love, about all its imperfections, about the way it can grab hold of you and surprise you whether you're at the beginning, the middle, or the end of your own story.

There's an idea there, tipsy and unformed, about him and Tommy and about what he can do with all the love he's been packing up and hiding away like the hoodie buried at the back of his drawer that only barely smells like Tommy's sweat now. By the time he wakes up and finishes making everybody breakfast, the idea has solidified into a plan.

He has to visit two different office supply stores to get what he needs, and it takes him most of that afternoon to figure out what he wants to write, saving draft after draft in the notes app of his phone before he ever puts marker to paper. At some point he remembers to text Lucy to ask whether Tommy's on duty Christmas Eve or whether he'll be at home.

He's not on the duty roster but I don't know if he has plans, she texts back. Want I should find out?

yes please, he sends. I'm gonna do sthg stupid and i need him to be home for it.

Thank God, one of you idiots needs to figure your shit out before I'm subjected to his sad breakup playlist one more time.

he has a breakup playlist???

An hour later Lucy texts again to let Buck know that she told Tommy she had some stuff to drop off for him, and he said he wasn't planning to leave the house. So the plan is a go.

On Christmas Eve, Buck waits until after dark to drive over to Tommy's house. He's got three dozen thumbprint cookies in tins, a carefully ordered stack of poster board, and about a thousand butterflies in his stomach. This is either going to go really well, or really poorly, and he's honestly not sure which outcome to expect. But he has to do something – he has to try.

He wishes it were snowing. It's barely cool enough to need a jacket. But that's Los Angeles in the winter for you.

Tommy has this particular smile. Buck saw it pretty often when they were first together. It's not his favorite of Tommy's smiles; it's too restrained, starts out wide and then gets reined in, tamped down, as if he suddenly remembered that he's not supposed to be that happy, or not allowed to show it if he is. Buck is pretty sure it's the smile of someone who'd spent a long time being more or less punished for joy, and whatever else happens between them, he's glad that he saw it less and less over their months together.

But Buck sees that smile again when the front door swings open, when Tommy reflexively smiles big, the one that reaches his eyes, when he sees Buck on the porch – and immediately schools his face into something more reserved, more professional. Friendly, but not too friendly.

"Hey. What's up? What –" he trails off as Buck hits play on his phone and Christmas music comes from the Bluetooth speaker at his feet. He picks up his stack of poster board cards and shows Tommy the first one.

Say it's carol singers, it reads in Buck's uneven chicken scratch handwriting.

"Buck, nobody else is here," Tommy says.

Buck frowns and brandishes the sign again. Tommy's smile softens into something wistful, almost sad. "It's carol singers," he calls exaggeratedly over his shoulder to the empty house and turns back to Buck with an expectant look.

Buck flips to the next sign. I watched this movie the other day, it says. I didn't think it was that good TBH.

Sign number three: But I think I understand why people still like it so much.

Tommy crosses his arms over his chest and raises an eyebrow.

Buck flips to the fourth sign. I think it's a movie about hope. That no matter how much you fuck up there will still be a way for love to find you.

He had to write pretty small to fit all that on one sign, so he holds it up a little longer and watches something flash across Tommy's face as he reads. He waits until Tommy looks up again to go to the next card.

And now it's Christmas, it says. And at Christmas you tell the truth.

The playlist is on a rendition of "Joy to the World" that couldn't possibly be performed by anything less than a professional eight-part a cappella group. Buck flips to the next card.

You're not perfect, it reads in big letters. The "not" is underlined multiple times. Tommy laughs a little bit, and Buck doesn't think he's imagining the fact that it sounds a little wet, like maybe Tommy is choking up a little.

The next sign: (And neither am I.) We've both fucked up + I'm sure we will again. He's not happy with how this one looks. He'd tried about seventeen times on various pieces of scrap paper to get the damn ampersand right and eventually had to settle for the stupid little plus sign like a middle schooler.

But I still have hope. I have hope for love. I have hope for us. Almost to the end now.

The second-to-last card is a simple one. And… I'm hoping you have hope too. Merry Christmas Tommy.

Buck bends down and takes his time stopping the music and turning off the Bluetooth speaker; straightens up slowly, poster board clutched to his chest. He can't quite meet Tommy's eyes, too afraid of what he might see there, so he looks down at his own shoes until the toes of Tommy's house slippers shuffle into view.

Two gentle fingers tip his chin up. It's so familiar, Buck almost expects a kiss, but instead Tommy just looks at him, soft and tender and achingly open.

"Thank you, Evan," he says, and it doesn't escape Buck's notice that he was Buck when Tommy first opened the door, and he's back to being Evan now.

"It's really not a great movie, Tommy," he says, a little helplessly. "I liked the story about the dad and the kid, and the one with the naked people was pretty good, but this guy?" He shakes a sheet of poster board and it makes that little wooby wooby sound. "Total creeper. And the prime minister is an HR violation waiting to happen, and I don't know if they even have HR in England…"

He trails off, because Tommy is chuckling. Tommy is laughing at him, and his smile is big again, spreading over his face from the corners of his eyes all the way down to the cleft in his chin, and it's one of the more beautiful things Buck has ever seen.

"You're not wrong, Evan," he's saying. "I think I told you, you know, it's like junk food, you don't eat it because it's good, you eat it because it's –"

"It's what you want." They're standing close together, now. Almost close enough that Buck can feel Tommy's breath against his cheek. He can still feel the ghost of his fingertips under his chin.

He's really not sure what to do now. His plan hadn't developed this far, beyond a kind of half-baked daydream of Tommy immediately falling into his arms and passionately declaring his love, although actually neither of them is quite that kind of guy. But luckily, Tommy seems to have an idea where to go.

"Do you want to stay for a bit?" he asks. "Maybe watch a better Christmas movie? Maybe… maybe talk some things over?"

"Yes," Buck is saying before the last sentence finishes emerging from Tommy's mouth. "Yes, please. I brought you cookies. They're in the car, I couldn't – I couldn't carry them and hold the signs at the same time."

"How about I take these," Tommy says, taking the stack of posters from Buck's suddenly nerveless fingers, "and you go get the cookies, and you come inside for a while?"

"Okay," Buck says, and does that.

Just under a year later, when they're decorating for their second Christmas together, Tommy unearths the signs from a plastic tub of fake garland. Evan laughs at himself while they hang ornaments on the tree, still a little embarrassed. I can't believe I thought that would work, he says. I can't believe it did work.

I can, Tommy says, and holds up a plastic sprig of mistletoe, and reels him in for a kiss.

read on AO3 >>>

[chirpingfromthebox]

The Fleet's Post-game Press Session from 1/5/2025 - BOS vs. MTL at Seattle

The Boston Fleet's post-game press session from after their Takeover Tour game against the Montréal Victoire in Seattle.

At the table were head coach Courtney Kessel, and forwards Susanna Tapani and Hannah Bilka.

A transcription is under the break.

[To keep it on par with the other side I did a marginally looser transcription on this one as well. Basically just cut out some of the stutters and filler words/phrases that you always get in these sorts of interviews as people try to phrase an idea on the spot. I usually keep them in for accuracy, even though they make the text a little muddier, but they do slow things down as they are trickier to get down properly.

Although there were definitely still some reporter bits that I couldn't quite make out.]

[Video seems to begin after a question was asked, as even though the players are still appearing to be getting situated at the desk the video begins with Courtney Kessel speaking.]

COURTNEY KESSEL:

I think just an unbelievable experience. Our players have got to do some fun things yesterday and the day before that. And it’s just really nice to come out with a win. A good hard-fought game and I think we really earned those points today.

Reporter:

Coach, what do you think the turning point of this game was? Obviously that second period was a lot of special teams play. What did you see from your group to pretty much stay with it and not get down going down a couple goals early?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

I think our ability to sustain offense from line to line to line and to continue that was a huge difference for us to continue with the momentum. And then finding ways to get pucks in was one of our biggest things too.

Reporter:

For both players, and similarly to what coach was just talking about, what were some of the conversations or things you were doing on the bench to really turn that tide in that second frame?

HNNAH BILKA:

I think just staying with it. Not getting discouraged with what the score is. I feel like we have a very calm group and kind of a steady vibe to our bench. Just that internal confidence that we know that we’re gonna come back.

Reporter:

And Susanna, for you, especially thinking about that shootout goal, is that something you know where you were going to go with it? Do you just kind of take what’s given?

SUSANNA TAPANI:

That’s actually a long time that I’ve scored that goal, but it’s something that I’ve done in the past for sure. I waited a little too long maybe, but- [chuckles] I’m glad that it went in.

Reporter:

So this game is kicking off the Takeover Tour for the PWHL and I believe that you all have 2 more games left that are going to be in these different neutral sites. How are you approaching this tour? In terms of going to different cities that don’t currently have teams, but have people that want to come see you, and those kinds of things?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

It’s an exciting time for our game and I think you see the growth just continue to grow every single day and we had an amazing audience here today. Hopefully moving forward we can continue to grow this. But if you think about where we were one year ago from today, who would have thought that we could expand so soon. Right? Just reach out to all these young girls and so I think just continue to grow it each and every day. That’s really what these players do.

Reporter:

Two questions please. First, for both of the players, can you tell me about Jessica Campbell coming into the room before the game? Whether you had a chance to talk to her individually, what her message to you before the game, what it meant to you?

SUSANNA TAPANI:

I think it was a big moment for all of us. The work she has done here and we saw on the ice how big she is in this city. Yeah, it was awesome. Awesome moment that she came into the locker room and told us that we should be proud, all of us, for what we have done here.

HANNAH BILKA:

Yeah, it was really cool. I feel like I’ve been following her for awhile and she’s just paved the way for women’s hockey. To be an assistant coach in the NHL, that’s a huge deal. So it was so cool getting to be able to hear her talk and be at the game here today.

Reporter:

And coach, can you speak a little bit about yesterday’s clinics and the autograph signings and the whole vibe? And how did what you experienced in Seattle compare to what you experience in the 6 PWHL cities?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

I think one of our core values as a team is to impact the community. And I think when you come into a place that doesn���t have a team just yet in the PWHL, it’s great to get out and to reach out to those little girls. They were at our practice cheering for us, so I think that’s a great environment for practice. And then to be able to get on the ice with a few of them, the players got out to throw the fish and kind of experience the city a little bit. So it’s really great to get out into the community and express our love for the game and give back a little bit.

Reporter:

I was wondering, before the final [???] changed the tone of things a little bit, do you think your team deserved a little better than it had going for it?

COURTNEY KESSEL:

Yeah, you know, heading down the stretch here, we’ve been on a little bit of a long road trip looking for a puck to kind of find the back of the net for us and see the light at the end of the tunnel. So it was really nice to see that go in. I think the biggest key is just to stick to our gameplan. We played a great 60 minutes. When we went into the first period- or the first intermission down two, I don’t think it was an indicator of how we were playing and I love to see us battle back.

Reporter:

Down two goals you still had some pretty stellar goalkeeping behind you. Knowing you were going to have to take some risks do some [???] what does the level of goalkeeping you have behind you allow you to do in situation like that? Knowing that you do have that kind of an anchor.

HANNAH BILKA:

I think it just gives us so much confidence as group. We know she’s gonna come up with a big save and really keep us in the game. So she’s our anchor back there. Yeah, just can’t say enough great things about how good of a goaltender she is.

Reporter:

Kind of keeping the theme here, it was a pretty marquee metric for the goaltenders in this one in general. Players, coach, can you just speak to what you saw out of [Ann-Renée] Desbiens in this one? Obviously she had a good game going on before you guys let things kind of [???].

COURTNEY KESSEL:

I think across the league we have tremendous goaltending and that’s probably why the scores of the games are always kept pretty low. But two tremendous goaltenders going head-to-head in the great city of Seattle, with a great fan base; I think we gave them a game that everyone wanted. Some physicality and brought us all the way into a shootout, so it’s exciting. But I think when you have the top 10 goaltenders in the world you’re gonna see great goaltending every single night.

Reporter:

And then I’d just like to ask, you kind of touched on it a little bit there coach, but what do you hope the fans who were at attendance today and were able to see you at practices yesterday, take away from this one? Obviously when the Jocks In Jills podcast mentioned expansion to the city it was pretty loud. It looks like that’s what people want here.

COURTNEY KESSEL:

Yeah, a very warm welcome from Seattle and I think our players enjoyed it. I want them to see our game and how amazing it is and how amazing these players are and how hard they work. And, you know, the game is fast, it’s physical, and we’re just at the beginning of where we want this league to take off to.

[End of video.]

[fvckw4d]

The concept of queerbaiting annoys me. I was told that it refers to a work of fiction pretending to cater to a queer audience but then pulling back from it to avoid alienating homophobes, which is an incredibly specific thing. But a lot of people seem to think that it instead means "any time there's any gay subtex, metaphor, or ambiguity" or "whenever something from 1995-2012 was being a normal amount of homophobic for the era."

[pup-pee]

my father telling me how scared he was when i ran away from the house but i cant express how scared i was 2 b in the house

hey, whats up w/that?

[talesofwhimsy]

WHY?, “Sin Imperial" // Car Sear Headrest, “I Can Play the Piano”