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toonblabbers · 4 years ago

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Balls to the Walls Random Headcanons

A/N: Just trying to flex and expand my writing with other characters: Ace Edition - Ushijima, Iwaizumi, Aran, Hoshiumi, Asahi, Yamamoto and Sakusa!

I didn’t write about my big sexy himbo Bokuto because my blog is like almost 90% him

This contains some mentions to smut so hey: minors DNI! Thanks!

Ushijima:

Service top with a dash of Dom. Got a big cock but he doesn’t know what to do with it so please help him out.

Had one (1) partner before you and they told him he can be too rough so now he’s the literal definition of Gentle Giant. Again tell him what to do and how you like it

He on the other hand…Well he’s got a hard body from years of strength and endurance training. He has very specific spots where he’s super sensitive, but he’s easily embarrassed about them

One spot is right behind his earlobe. Sit in his lap, pinch his ear and gently rub it between your fingers. The sight of Ushi’s eyes fluttering closed as his breathing picks up is truly a sight to behold

Another spot is his wrist; stare him in the eyes and kiss his wrist before a match to have his knees quake a little and shorts feel a little tighter

Actually loves to discover new kinks with you. He finds it more romantic than having a quiet dinner with you in an expensive restaurant

Can be a big ole needy baby during the off season of volleyball. Tugging on your shirt when you leave the bed, follows you into the bathroom, stands behind you in the kitchen or when you’re doing laundry. He’s not vocal with his words but more with his body

Don’t tease him though; it’s still a very new feeling for him to express

Iwaizumi

Hates fighting with you but loves to pull you close and soothe you with a hot kiss

Has big Dom Daddy energy, but there are a few ways to make him start to crumble under you touch

If you use any piece of clothing to pull him in closer to you like his collar, his tie when he wears one, or his belt. Lean in like your gonna kiss him, stare at his lips then his eyes and then just walk away like nothing happened. You bet your sweet ass he’s gonna follow you to get that kiss

Another way that he refuses to admit he likes: play with his nipples. He’s got some fairly big and dark nipples compared to his friends and they get hard easily. Brush your fingers over them when you lean in to kiss and he’s got diamonds poking through his polo shirt

One way that he will admit is ass play. Now he’s not ready to full on take a cock in his ass, but things like your fingers, anal beads, or a vibrator? Makes him practically cum on the spot

Loves it when you get rough on him. Not like in a “I’m gonna slap you” kind of way but in the “grab him by the hair and demand he fucks you properly when he’s taking it too slow” kind of way

His cock pulsing hard inside of you and his eyes dilating is a dead giveaway of how much he loves it

Aran

Admittedly, he doesn’t have a monster dong (sorry not sorry, not all fucking black guys have a big cock so stop fetishing it thanks – from a black woman) but it does have a nice curve to it

He’s a disgusting romantic so full on he will bust out the candles, the rose petals, and the silk robe waiting on the bed for you. He saw it in a movie once as a kid and wanted to try it ever since

He so cute though because since he is a big romantic, he’s always cooking you breakfast and singing a little song in the morning for you. He even does a little dance while carrying the tray off food just to see you smile in the morning

He’s also such a soft Dom dude. Admittedly a little scared to try an bottom for you but man does he make you feel loved when he’s in between your legs

Loves to hold your hands or hold you close when he cums. Wants you to feel how his whole body shudders because of how good you make him feel

Big ole cuddle bug so it’s best to have some towels and water bottles by the bed cause neither of you are moving unless he says so

He’s a man a of quality and not quantity, so yeah you guys only go one round of sex cause he’s bone tired after he cums. That doesn’t mean he can’t make you cum multiple times though

Hoshiumi

A short King. We stan (I’m 5’9 so he’s short to me)

He is a meeeeessy boi dude like if ya’ll in a hurry to fuck, he’ll quickly slobber all over you and use as much spit as he needs to slide home. Loves how tight you are, but he’s careful enough to make sure it doesn’t hurt you…..too much

Loves. To. Fuck. You. Both. Dumb.

Did you just cum? Well he’s not stopping until he cums. Did he just cum? Well he’s not stopping until you cum. Wants to keep it equal

Please sit on his face. He loves it. And if you play with his balls like rolling them in your hands and squeezing them? He’s whining and panting while eating you out like a mad man

He adores it when you play with his hair when you’re cuddling. Just don’t be surprised if he starts humping against you. It just feels so good

He’s very competitive so god help you if you’re with his friends and they start talking about their sex stories.

If there’s a friend there (Hinata) that talks about the kind of kinks they do with their partner and it’s something you guys haven’t tried before? Guess what’s on the list tonight

Asahi

God just hold him. He needs it. Another one that's is a great service top for someone who loves to lead from the bottom (me @ me)

Not the biggest set in the world but he's got passion so sex is almost always soft and sweet

He's still hot in his own ways like the way his deep grunts start to turn into softest and sweetest moans

Or the way he stares at you; eyes swirling between lust and loves with tears threatening to spill

Please don't be mean to him unless he asks. It's evident that he holds a lot of insecurities and he's trying his best for you. Love and dote on him because his aftercare is top tier

Even if you guys don't do anything special or crazy. Just some straight vanilla sex, he always makes sure that you're comfortable before you go to bed

Also he helps you establish a nightly routine with him so what's not to love about that?

Yamamoto

SIMP ALERT. Be ready for one of the LOUDEST simps out there.

I'm talking a bigger simp than all the setters for Hinata or all the captains for Daichi

You can fit so much passion and respecting people juice into this boy right here

I don't see him being a wild boy but if you're into it then so is he. Want him to spank you? He's gonna ask how hard baby.

However if you want to do something that he seems a bit hesitant on, he’s gonna try to be overconfident with everything. Make sure you talk to him and make sure you have a solid agreement with with him. Communication is key with him!

He's a little sloppy and lazy with his aftercare but you know what, it's always fun with him

I don't know much about him but he gives off that vibe of a man that runs on pure fiery passion and motivation. Like if he’s feeling like loving on you tonight? Be ready to not do a damn thing cause youre gonna be his precious pillow gem (idk if there's a gn term for ‘pillow princess’)

Sakusa

Ooof. Where do I begin with this beautiful man. Pretty body with a pretty cock to match for starts

He’s sexy man but he has these cute little moles all over his body. He personally doesn’t like them but please kiss each one even the one on his butt. He may not voice it but he loves it so much

He will gladly do the same for you; kissing you every part of your body that you may not like about yourself.

Doesn’t have a high sex drive, but when he’s in the mood, damn you better clear your plans. He believes in both quantity AND quality so you will be thoroughly fucked out when he’s done with you

I see him as the kind of dom that goes for the kind of pleasure that benefits you both. Not a selfish lover but also not an absolute giver like the others

Yeah there are nights where he wants to treat you but others nights he’s gonna make you work for it

Tagging: @hiddenbluee, @kou-taro, @justcoffeewithoutcaffeine

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buttercupjosh · 3 years ago

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Happy National Boyfriend Day to all of my current favorite hockey boys🎉💜. Every year, I highlight my favorite band members (i used to post about this on insta but i stopped and ya girl has never had a boyfriend) on this day and since I’m a full time hockey clown, I’m going to highlight hockey players. (I know my chances of actually dating a hockey boy is extremely unlikely but it’s fun to talk about them). In no particular order, here’s a current list of hockey boys running around rent free in my head and this is subject to change at any moment:

-Joel Farabee (my BUZZ BUZZ BEE king)

-Travis Konecny (short chaos king who’s has a precious son)

-Tyson Jost (drinks respect women and BLM juice and is cute with puppies)

-Cale Makar (wholesome fellow Scorpio and psychology major fav)

-Mikko Rantanen (my sweet Finnish prince who could be a lawyer)

-Andre Burakovsky (I almost left him off this list because I forgot about him)

-Tyler Seguin (radiated his himboness onto me and turned me into a hockey himbo)

-Phil Myers (my giraffe fav who I hope will succeed in Nashville)

-Roman Josi (yes, I know he’s married with a child and he’s very attractive. Has also verbally supported the growth of women’s hockey and BLM)

-Brock Boeser (he’s been through a lot in life, is humble at times and is building a redemption arc for me)

-Elias Pettersson (fellow November Scorpio fav, streetwear king)

-Jason Dickinson (anti-racism cutie)

-Andrei Svechnikov (my emotional support Russian)

-Brady Skjei (if it wasn’t for that SNL skit, I probably wouldn’t know how he is but he likes Harry Styles so we can vibe)

-Anthony Beauviller (Bark bark cutie with eyes that are so blue, you could drown in them)

-Mat Barzal (he’s starting to move out due to a certain off-season action but once the season starts, he’ll probably be moving back in because the grip that he has on me is so strong)

-Ross Colton (as one of my friends has said “he’s a better looking V*nce D*nn”)

-Mathieu Joseph (a Black who’s a 2 time Stanley Cup winner, we have no choice but to stan)

-Colton Parayko (Gentle giant with a college degree and looks great in glasses? Sign me up)

-Jakob Chychrun (drinks anti-racism juice and his house is so nice)

-Pierre-Luc Dubois (a cute fridge who’s also a dog dad and is anti-trump)

-Mitch Marner (I neglect him because of one of his teammates and that mullet he had last season but he is a Directioner and dog dad so he’s back)

-Ryan Graves (I know it’s overused but vampire giraffe that reads anti-racism books)

-Nico Hischier (he moved in my head rent free during the off-season and I’m not mad about it so if I suddenly start posting Devils content, this is why)

-Gritty (PURE CHAOS THAT I L*VE)

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wendimydarling · 4 years ago

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Henry's characters as Greek/Roman Gods 😆

OKAY girl. I’m finally getting around to this. I did a lot of research as I’m not superly familiar with all of the greek gods and their stories, but I did a pretty good job I think, and I ran the list by @littlefreya and @agniavateira; they stan (for the most part)!

All of my info (including the quotes I will use) I pulled from this website, so if anything isn’t accurate, I’m sorry! Here we goooooooo!

Stephen Colley

Stephen Colley is Aristaeus, minor patron god of useful arts, such as gardening and hunting. I’m basing this off of who he was and his role to the family, NOT on the sudden acting career that was thrust upon him.

“In Greek mythology, Aristaeus was the god useful arts, such as bee-keeping and cheese-making, olive-growing, herding, and hunting. He was a rustic god, a god of the countryside and pastoral places.”

Aristaeus also would visit cities, see the problems, and find a solution, which is basically what Stephen did for the bitch he was in love with, to the detriment of his own heart.

Mikey

Mikey is Momus. the god of Mockery and Satire.

“Momus is typically depicted as a man lifting a mask from his face. In more modern art, he is depicted as a fool or king’s jester.

Greek tragedian Sophocles wrote a satyr play called Momus. Satyr plays were tragicomedies with choruses of satyrs. The plays were often full of drunkenness, sexuality, sight gags, and other forms of merriment.”

Mikey loves a good joke and to fool around. He didn’t take life seriously, he wanted to have fun.

Melot

Melot is Dinlas, god of chaos and hatred. Dinlas was abandoned by his mother and banished to the underworld where Hades discovered him and turned him into an agent of darkness, similarly to how Melot wasn’t as well received by his uncle as Tristan was, and so was taken in by Wictred and used for evil.

Hades gave Dinlas a job that seemed right and good, much how Melot thought that he was doing what was best for the kingdom. Both of them sought acceptance and love wherever they could find it, and for both of them it was ultimately their downfall.

Evan Marshall

Evan is the god Paean, physician to the Olympic gods. Paean treated everyone from Ares to Hades, he didn’t differentiate. This may seem like an obvious choice, but it goes a step further.

“The name “Paean” was also commonly used in a general sense to refer to anyone who could save people from evil or calamity.”

This is Evan. He was brought in by his brother to save their home from the evil that resided in that bunker, and he did what he had to, wishing to save not just his family but the family that lived there, regardless of what his brother thought. He didn’t differentiate, same as Paean.

Charles Brandon

Charles is Kratos, god of strength and power. I’m basing this off of the myths that include his lineage as the son of the Titans Pallas and Styx, which makes him a relative of the Olympian gods but not one of them directly.

“In this form, Kratos is seen as a companion of Zeus and the guardian of his throne. He is usually one of Zeus’ primary enforcers and is an extension of his will.”

This is Charles. Friend of the King and Enforcer of His Will, even when it means carrying out unnecessary vengeance, similarly to how Kratos was required to chain Prometheus to a rock to be tortured for all eternity after Prometheus stole fire for humans.

Clark Kent/Kal-El

Clark is Atlas, who was a Titan instead of a god. This might seem like an unusual choice, but hear me out. Atlas chose a side and lost, and because of it was forced to carry the weight of the heavens on his shoulders for the rest of his life. Clark too was forced to choose a side, and though he didn’t necessarily “lose”, he still had to carry the weight of that burden on his shoulders for the rest of his life.

“Atlas was known as being ‘stout-hearted,’ strong, resilient and only a little gullible”

Clark is all of those things. And when I say gullible, I more just mean that he’s so good, so innocent, people have been able to take advantage of him before.

Napoleon Solo

Napoleon is Hermes, god of trade, thieves, travelers, and border crossings, guide to the Underworld.

“Hermes was known to be quick and cunning and had the ability to freely move between the mortal and divine worlds.

In some myths Hermes is also depicted as a trickster where he would outwit the gods either for the good of humankind or for his own personal amusement and satisfaction.

Both Homer and Hesiod portrayed Hermes as the author of skilled or deceptive acts, and also as a benefactor of mortals.”

This depicts Napoleon to a T. He played both sides to his benefit, and often “went against the man” if it benefited the greater good or if it amused him.

Captain Syverson

Captain Syverson is Zeus, god of law, order, and justice.

“Hesiod described Zeus as a god who “brought peace in place of violence” and referred to him as the “lord of justice”.”

There are many different character traits of Zeus that Syverson embodies: hospitality, willingness to avenge wrong, keeper of oaths, and he struck terror in his enemies.

“According to “Work and Days” by Hesiod (line 59), Zeus was a carefree god who loved to laugh out loud. He was regarded as wise, fair, just, merciful, and prudent. He was also unpredictable – nobody was able to guess the decisions he would make.”

This also seems to me like Syverson. Although we don’t see him laugh much in the film, we do get a snippet of that smile when he greets Mahmoud.

“He is often described as a strong, imposing man with a regal body and long, often curly, hair. He usually had a short beard or scruff and carried his trusty thunderbolt at all times.”

Syverson is all of this except the long curly hair. His thunderbolt is the Beretta 92FS he’s always got tucked into his belt.

August Walker

August is Hades, god of the underworld.

“Hades was depicted as stern and unyielding, unmoved by prayer and sacrifice.

[He] had a cap or helmet that made its wearer invisible.

His wife was Persephone, Demeter’s only daughter, whom he kidnapped and made his queen.”

August’s mission is his manifesto. He is unyielding in that sense; he will do whatever it takes to accomplish that goal, unmoved by the opinions and pleading of others. He worked for the CIA and they had no idea of his true intent, which makes him pretty invisible, and he would absolutely kidnap a woman to make her his bride (Trapped, anyone????). Although I think he would make her fall in love with him first.

Walter Marshall

Walter is the Hypnos, the god of sleep. Again, seems like an unusual choice, but hear me out.

“Hypnos is said to be a calm and gentle god who helps mortal humans in their time of need.”

This is Walter. He is a gentle giant, who aids people when they need help the most. This is his job, this is his life. Hypnos lived in the underworld, in a cave that received no sunlight or moonlight. Walter lives his life in a similar darkness, his mind engulfed in the horrors of his job. Hypnos’s cave was surrounded by poppies and other plants that produce sleep, which explains why Walter always looks so tired. *cue laughing emoji*

Geralt of Rivia

I see Geralt as Heracles (Hercules). He did not choose the life he was given, but he used it for the good of people.

“Heracles was known for his extraordinary strength, courage and cleverness. When his brawn would not suffice, he would call upon his wits...”

Hercules also had his Twelve Labors, which I equate to Geralt running around slaying monsters. Hercules often acted impulsively, and though done out of love, it would get him into trouble. Geralt does this too, though he would never admit it. His love for Jaskier, Yen, and Ciri gets him into heaps of scraps and trouble, which he is then often forced to serve his way out of.

Thanks for this ask, @wondersofdreaming! Sorry it took me so long; it was a bit of a research project and I felt like I was in school again!

Fan Club: @littlefreya @sciapod @thiccgeralt @fucking-hell-cavill @brexrif @peakygroupie @viking-raider @constip8merm8 @daniig95 @elinalfrida @hell1129-blog @oddsnendsfanfics @agniavateira @dearlybelovedluke @sofiebstar @wanderinglunarnights @mary-ann84 @nuns-and-roses @luclittlepond @thekingstachemademedoit @iloveyouyen @lestersglitterglue @funnygirlthatgab @wondersofdreaming @yoursecretsmutblog @valkavill @kevia1000 @trippedmetaldetector @lifeofrileyp @captaingothgirl1996 @sasusakubae @princess-of-riviaa @vivodinson @paradisecitychild @stuckupstucky @speakerforthedead0-blog @aletheladyinred @madbaddic7ed @magdelen69 @emelinelovesjc @msblkfire84 @mstgsmy @harlotforhenry @daddys-littlewhitegirl

(If your name is crossed out I couldn’t tag you, check your settings!)

#henry cavill #henry cavill characters #character headcanons #greek gods #which are they

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octoberobserver · 4 years ago

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I saw where someone else had made a post about that vine video where the one guys wakes the other up but then a 2nd guy was in the bed as well and no one knew. yea that for adult reddie

Hi nonnie, so sorry for the late reply on this! Thanks for this fun prompt, I had a blast. It ended up being 60% Hanbrough tbh, but I had fun with it ^_^

Read on ao3 Wake Up Call for Mr Tozier

Richie and Eddie weren’t subtle.

They were handsy.

And flirty.

And drunk.

But for someone able to concoct such elaborate stories (albeit with horrible endings) and create beautiful sentences (albeit among gore and horror), Bill Denbrough wasn’t always what the Losers would call…intuitive. At least not when it came to badly-kept secrets.

Common sense isn’t all that common, Eddie would shrug.

Dumb as a sack of hammers, Bev would reply.

King of the Himbos, Richie would conclude.

Which was how, on the eve of their second annual reunion, when all the Losers, (plus Patty, Don and Adrian - all officially new members) eventually retired to bed, where they were staying with Bill and Mike in his giant, seven-bedroom L.A. home, he failed to notice Richie and Eddie’s sleeping arrangements.

He watched, bleary-eyed, as the two ‘helped’ each other up the stairs, each as drunk as the other, doing more stumbling than anything, like two hammered Bambis. Suppressing his chuckle, Bill wound an arm around Mike’s waist as leaned in close, following his eye line.

“Did we put enough pillows in the guest room for Eddie?”

A slow smile spread across Mike’s face as he watched dumb and dumber stumble on the stairs, giggling like the two perpetual middle-schoolers they were.

“Something tells me he won’t need ‘em, Bill,” he murmured before planting a kiss to the side of his boyfriend’s head.

Bill frowned, turning to Mike, opening his mouth to ask why not.

“Come to bed.”

Bill’s mouth snapped shut, transforming into a grin.

~*~

Like with endings, (at least the literary kind), mornings were not Bill’s forte. But it had to be said, waking up next to Mike Hanlon, definitely helped.

“Wakey, wakey, eggs and bakey,” a deep, low voice mumbled into his ear, a huff of breath causing him to shiver.

With a groan, he turned over and snuggled into the furnace-like warmth of the man beside him, burying his face in his shoulder, a pleased hum escaping his lips as he felt a strong arm wind around him.

“Do we have to make breakfast for everyone?”

His question was muffled and more than a little sulky, but Mike laughed all the same.“

We wanna be good hosts, don’t we?”

Bill groaned again, his head making its feelings known on that last shot of tequila he downed because Richie had dared him. (Maybe he was still a bit of a middle-schooler too.)

“I guess so.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Mike’s tone was warm, teasing, and alluring enough that Bill just had to look up and kiss him, right on the lips, morning breath be damned.

“Don’t talk about spirits,” he mumbled against his mouth, “my head hasn’t forgiven me for last night.”

Mike raked his palms up Bill’s sides, squeezing his hips. “No sympathy,” he grinned, eyes twinkling, “all self-inflicted.”

With that he gave a hearty smack to his ass, beginning to push him out of the bed. “Go on, you go wake up the kids. I’ll get breakfast started.”

Bill moaned, and not for good reasons.

“I hate having to wake Richie. He’s like a bear in the morning.”

Mike swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up, stretching, his sleep-shirt riding up and revealing a sliver of the very tantalising skin above his belly button, making Bill freeze mid-step.

“I feel like it’s my duty to remind you on Richie’s behalf that he is not a bear, he’s a...sea lion?” Mike paused, scratching his stomach, “No, that’s not right. An otter? Beaver? I don’t know man, something that swims, I think. Adrian was trying to teach me all the different kinds of gay—mmph!”

Bill cut him off with a kiss, leaning up and dragging him down into it.

“I love you, you giant, sexy nerd,” he grinned as the kiss broke, running his thumb under the hem of Mike’s sleep-shirt.

“I love you too,” Mike winked, smacking Bill’s ass again, “but don’t think it gets you out of waking the Losers. Start with someone easy, like Eddie.”

There was something in Mike’s voice, in his smirk, that had Bill’s suspicions flaring, but he sighed, pecking his jaw before resigning himself to his fate. Out of all of them, Eddie was one of the earliest risers, usually. It was a tie between him, Ben and Stan, most of the time. Ben, a frequent morning jogger, and Stan, an avid bird-watcher. So really, Bill knew Mike was right, starting with him.

Shrugging nto his slippers and robe, he dragged a hand through his bed-head and shuffled down the corridor, making a bee-line for Eddie’s room.

“Eds?” he called out quietly as he knocked. “Mike and I are making breakfast if you’re interested?”

Silence rang out. With a frown, he turned the handle and gave a quick glance around the door, eyes falling on the empty bed, so neatly made up, it looked like it hadn’t been slept in. Huh. Eddie must already be up. With a shrug, Bill closed the door with a snap and decided that it was best to just rip the bandaid off. Richie was going to be the one that gave the most pushback, so he may as well start with him. If he was his usual grumpy self, Bill could always move onto everyone else then loop back around.

With Richie though, he’d have to try a different approach than with Eddie. Something loud and annoying to get back at him for his part in Bill’s hangover. Quickly, he got fished out his phone from his robe pocket, turning to the guest room where Richie was staying, directly opposite Eddie’s.

Counting down from three in his head, he hit record and flung the door wide open, spotting Richie asleep in one of the twin beds. Stifling his laugh, Bill switched on the light and yelled, “Wake up, Sleepyhead!”

He watched gleefully as Richie, with a serious case of bed-head, jumped, grumbling something like, “Whoa, what’s goin—”

“The fuck, man?”

Bill blinked as Eddie suddenly popped up from behind Richie, his arm very noticeably thrown over his hip, both men very, very shirtless. The three friends stared at each other. A beat of silence passed.

Two.

Three.

Shock shot through Bill, his brain scrambling to make sense of this picture, a borderline hysterical laugh escaping his throat. He found his brain vividly flashing back to various moments, touches, shared smiles between Richie and Eddie and…oh. Then, with exactly zero input from his brain, his feet turned him around and led him right back out the bedroom door, a louder laugh bursting from him and carrying down the corridor, no doubt enough to wake the rest of the Losers.

Good. That gave him time to spill the beans to Mike.

Richie and Eddie blinked at the closed door that their friend had just bolted through.

“Well, that’s one way to tell him,” Eddie sighed, letting his head fall back onto the pillow, his arm tightening around Richie’s waist.

“Yeah, you popping up all Whack-A-Mole-style and scaring the crap outta him was one way to go, Eds,” Richie chuckled, turning around to face him and kissing him on the forehead.

“The man fought a murderous space clown. Twice,” Eddie grumbled into his neck, “I think he can survive seeing us in bed together.”

Richie snorted, settling a hand on his lower back, pulling their bodies closer together, he already in danger of falling out of the far too small bed.

“You know there’s a double in your room, right?” he murmured into Eddie’s hair. “Remind me again why we ended up squeezed into this tiny twin bed?”

Eddie poked him in the chest, prompting him to lean back to look him in the eye.

“Rich, we were so drunk, we’re lucky we didn’t end up trying to make these into bunk beds and sleeping in them, or something worse.”

Richie smirked. “That tub was looking appealing last night, not gonna lie.”

“And besides,” Eddie poked his chest again, softer this time, “I wanted to push the beds together to make a double. Like we did in middle school. But, you know, the tequila—”

“Ahh, the tequila,” Richie sighed wistfully, before leaning down and pressing their foreheads together.“Guess the cat’s outta the bag now, huh?”

Eddie rolled his eyes before letting them close.

“All the others already know. Bill was just being slow on the uptake as usual.”

Richie bumped their noses.

“Told you, Eds. He’s a himbo.”

“King Himbo, I think you said.”

They shared a laugh before closing the short distance, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss. Richie hummed into it happily, (still tickled that Eddie apparently wasn’t as opposed to morning breath as he thought), brushing his tongue along Eddie’s bottom lip, the kiss deepening. Just as things were getting good, far too good for two people who were just called for breakfast, Eddie stilled, pulling away, his cheeks flushed, lips plump, and his eyes wide.

“Wait, was he recording us?”

#reddie #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #my fanfiction #prompt fill #Anonymous

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strawberry-crushed · 4 years ago

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Ranked snk/aot guys I would heck/ have relationship with

(Don’t read if your not thirsty as hell for the aot/snk guys... I’m disgusting)

1. Levi Ackerman

He’s so attractive and we love a short king. I would honestly feel more safer with him the someone taller it more eqaulizing I like it. (I’m extremely short btw)

2. Erwin Smith

The big dick energy is strong in this one. Though he can low key come across as sociopath, I love anime captain America. Not the most attractive compared to mike or eren in my opinion. He do got that body though.

3. Eren jeager (man bun of course)

He’s bassicly a really hot hitler at this point but you know, he has come a long way from incel virgin teen to cotton eye joy hobo to chad thunder cock with that Lucius hair. 10/10 would smash and he’s very kind to Ymir (fritz) wich is cute.

4. Mike zach-somethin

I don’t know he’s honestly kinda scary but I feel he would be very kind to be in a relationship with but he’s definitely killed like several men. We Stan a gentle giant.

5. Eren Kruger

Dad energy in this one, seems like a troubled soul with what he’s seen... that’s kinda it he doesn’t really enter act with the other characters. I still love him though

I think I have a thing for older men but you know what whatever. I would just love to feel their cum against my cervix though hmmmm

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allthecoolboysaredead · 7 years ago

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Leopold “Butters” Patrick Stotch Bio + Tags + Headcanons

Name: Leopold Patrick Stotch Nicknames: Butters Age: 21; Can Change Birthday: September 11th Sign: Virgo Gender: Intersex, Partial Androgen Sensitivity Syndrome Pronouns: He/Him Sexuality: Homosexual Biromantic Monogamous; Moderately Sexual Hair: Naturally Blond Eyes: Right Eye Cerulean, Left Eye Powder Blue Skin: Lightly Tanned Height: 5′1″ Weight: 136 lbs Faceclaim: Ross Lynch Piercings: Both Nipples, Gauges in both ears Tattoos: None Scars: Over his left eye, his stomach, and around his chest

Alignment: Chaotic Good Religion: Raised Roman Catholic, Questioning Allegiance: Stan’s Gang, Chaos, Professor Disarray, The Melvins

Family: Stephen Stotch (Father; Alive), Linda Stotch (Mother; Alive), Nellie Stotch (Aunt; Alive), Budd Stotch (Uncle; Alive), Grandma Stotch (Grandma; Deceased)

Pets: Hammy the Teddy Bear Hamster

Personality: Gullible, Easily Influenced, Positive, Optimistic, Loving, Scapegoat, Sweet, Temperamental, Attention Starved, Overly Affectionate, Flip-Flopper, Terrified of his father, Struggles with guilt, Naive, Exaggerates, Mock Innocent

Likes: Candy, Friendship, Hamsters, Rodents, The Wind, Kites, Eating People, Hello Kitty, Cute Clothes, Crafts, Singing, Writing, Making Believe, Dancing

Dislikes: Negativity, Misunderstandings, His Parents, Horror Movies, FPS Games, Most Leafy Greens, Driving, Smoking, Being Bullied, His Scars, Bitter Things

Can Do: Drive, Advanced Math, Cartography, Remember Small Details, Cook, Butcher People, Hide His Killings

Can’t Do: Write Poetry, Go Out Most Of The Time, Drink Alcohol, Eat Spicy Foods, Stomach Regular Meat, Draw Well

Mental Health Diagnosis:

Generalized Anxiety Disorder: Butters is terrified of most things, of getting things wrong, and he constantly fears that everything is his fault, one way or another.

Paranoia: Everything makes him fearful and worried, and he obviously is scared of doing anything at all that could make him get into trouble.

Physical Health Diagnosis:

Autocannibalism: Butters will chew his lips/the inside of his cheeks/his fingers and nails and swallow it. He does this mostly when he is nervous or bored.

Chronic Cystitis: Considering his father often doesn’t even let him leave his bedroom to pee when he is grounded, he often gets bladder infections from holding it too much. He has found ways to use things as a bathroom, of course, but it doesn’t stop him from having frequent bladder infections.

Partial Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome: Born with a severe case, Butters was almost found to be female from the initial view of his genitals. However, later it was discovered that he had the internal workings of a male, which prompted doctors to have his family work with him to get treatment. However, his parents neglected it, and his body began to manage itself on its own, leaving him somewhat androgynous, leaning towards female in appearance.

Fears: His Father, Being Grounded, Getting Caught, Being Eaten Alive

Positive Traits: Gentle, Loving, Willing To Help, Selfless

Negative Traits: Gullible, Can be hateful, Cannibal, Deceptive, Manipulative

Quirks: Plays innocent to get his way; Talks to animals more than people; Loves rodents; Almost always wears yoga pants

Tends To: Knock his knuckles together when nervous; Not make eye contact; Drink lots of juice; Jump at the slightest of sounds

History: Butters was born with the short end of the stick in many cases. His neglectful parents, his genetic disorder, among other things, separated him from the rest of society. His naivete and desire to be liked by anyone often influenced him to do stupid things, or believe the wrong people.

After becoming Marjorine and returning home ‘from the dead’, his parents kept him in the basement for two months, feeding him people. His desperation eventually turned him to feeding from them, and eventually he decided he liked it. He kept his cannibalism a secret for an awful long time, but he eventually couldn’t hide it. He was very good at butchering people in order to feed, hiding the transients he took in the basement. His parents never knew, and he was careful to keep his hunger a secret from them. His father became suspicious when he began sneaking out, and he often found himself grounded through middle and high school. It hurt his self esteem and his need to escape for a long time, until he finally couldn’t take it anymore.

Nobody is totally sure what happened to his father, but his disappearance sparked a sudden, very terrible investigation. Butters was never implicated, so used to acting innocent that it was like a second skin to him.

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Tags List - Personal

I’d Rather Be A Crying Pussy (Butters) I’m Going To Get Grounded Anyway I Might As Well! (Butters’ IC Posts) Hello Kitty Underwear (Butters’ Closet) Gotta Collect It All! (Butters’ Stuff) All I Ever Wanted Was The World (Butters’ Desires) Tin Foil Hats (Butters’ Aesthetic) No Minions Kill Them (Hammy Tag) If Only Sheep Could Put Me To Sleep (Butters’ Music) Here Comes A Thought (Butters Musings) Sunshine And Gummy Bears (Butters Headcanons)

Tags List - With X - Canon

I Can’t Believe She’s A Vampire (Butters And Annie Barlett) Beauty Can Be A Beast (Butters And Bebe Stevens) Ladies Don’t Start Fights But They Can Finish Them (Butters And Bloodrayne) You’re Perfectly Normal The Way You Are (Butters And Bradley) Mintberry Crunch! (Butters And Bradley Biggle) I Fucking Hate Guard Dogs! (Butters And Christophe “The Mole” DeLorne) Taco King (Butters And Clyde Donovan) If Things Would Be Boring I’d Be Soooo Happy (Butters And Craig Tucker) Weekend Satanists (Butters And Damien Thorn) A Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing Is More Than A Warning (Butters And Eric Cartman) Go Straight To Heck (Butters And Gary Harrison) Too Smart To Tie His Own Shoes (Butters And Gregory) She’s The Walmart Version Of You (Butters And Heidi Turner) Big Girl You Are Beautiful (Butters And Henriette Biggle) Genius In Canadian Clothing (Butters And Ike Broflovski) The Bard (Butters And Jimmy Valmer) A Rose Blooming From Mud (Butters And Karen McCormick) I Will Buy You A New Life (Butters And Kenny McCormick) Sticks And Stones (Butters And Kevin McCormick) The Mom Friend (Butters And Kyle Broflovski) Sweet As Sugar (Butters And Larry) Ads Are People Too! (Butters And Leslie Meyers) Gimme Gimme Bloodshed (Butters And Michael) I Want To Be Like You (Butters And Mike Makowski) A Loveable Giant (Butters And Mimsy) I Wear My Sunglasses At Night (Butters And Nathan) For A Makeover Call (Butters And Nichole Daniels) Too Pretty To Be Evil (Butters And Pete) Every Rose Has It’s Thorns (Butters And Red Tucker) You Can’t Sit With Us (Butters And Ryan Ellis) Oddballs (Butters And Scott Tenorman) It Was A Past Life (Butters And Stan Marsh) Left Stains On My Sheets And Stains On My Soul (Butters And Stuart McCormick) Livin’ A Lie (Butters And Timmy Burch) He Plays Bass (Butters And Token Black) I Don’t Want To Die! (Butters And Trent Boyett) We Blonds Must Stick Together (Butters And Tweek Tweak) Smart And Strong (Butters And Wendy Testaburger)

Tags List - With X - OC

None At This Time

Tags List - With X - Crossover

The Meek Will Get What’s Coming To Them (With Eddie Kaspbrak) A Little Crazy Is OK As Long As Nobody Says Any Dirty Words (With Jerome Valeska)

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Verses - In-World

A Liquid Dream (Elementary Verse)

Butters started off as a sweet, gullible child. He did things to help, and often fell victim to Eric Cartman’s pranks. He became aggressive, after some time, and eventually blew up the gymnasium and even went on an anti-woman rampage. He eventually petered out back into his old persona, sweet and innocent, but with a temper unmatched by most.

Kids With Guns (Middle School Verse)

Starting off middle school quiet and reserved, Butters’ groundings were becoming even longer, even harder. He had a bad habit of biting his nails, and would chew on his fingers until they bled. Most of the time, he didn’t talk to other students, afraid his father would find out and give him a worse punishment. He excelled in social studies and math, though he had to repeat his English course once. *Note: Beyond this is triggery, and also combined with my Tweek. It will be ignored if rping with another Tweek.* When he was 11, Tweek invited him to his house for a sleepover. Tweek’s dad touched both of them and made him kiss the other. They don’t talk about it, but they are very close friends, now.

I Wish I Could Have Been A Teen Idle (High School Verse)

Every day seemed to bring another grounding. His parents thought it would keep him away from parties, and that was their main goal. For some reason, they only entrusted him to Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick, otherwise, he was confined to his room. He began tutoring in math and social studies in order to get out of the house more, and his father barely let him do that. Occasionally he would sneak out in order to spend time with his friends, coming out of his shell once more when he was with them.

Studious (College Verse)

Having finally escaped his family to go to a medical college in Denver, Butters felt freedom for the first time. Which meant that he overdid it a lot, and was back to his innocent ways. A lot of the time, people could convince him to do whatever they wanted.

Had To Catch A Ride With A Man Who’s Deranged (Runaway Verse)

Butters ran away from home at fifteen, needing to escape the constant abuse. He ended up in a boys’ home in San Francisco, a runaway without a home or a name, and grew into himself as time went on. When he returned to South Park, he was very different.

He’s Going To Strip For Attention (Stripper!Butters Verse)

Denied attention from his parents, and often grounded, Butters found freedom in being an adult. He rented a small apartment downtown, shitty as it was, and began work at the Peppermint Hippo. He worked drag nights as well as regular, and went by the name Marjorine.

No Ray Of Sunlight’s Ever Lost (Teacher Verse)

Butters went on to become a teacher fresh out of college, devoting himself to his Kindergarten class. He often spends more time and money working on things for his kids than he needs to, but he loves them all like they were his own.

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AU Verses

Sweet As Sin (ABO AU)

Born a male Omega, Butters was shunned by his parents and left to walk the streets of South Park. He joined a Rut Helpline and helps talk Alphas through their ruts.

Blood For Blood (Deadman Wonderland AU)

Butters’ Branch Of Sin burns through his veins when he uses it. He calls it the Claws Of The Peregrine, and can use it to have almost claw-like blades on any part of his body. He was brought to Deadman Wonderland for killing his parents in a fit of desperation.

Nobody Would Suspect That Behind This Sweet Face I Want To Destroy You All (Demon!Butters AU)

A demon of envy, Butters takes pride in messing with people and leading them to believe that he is innocent and sweet. He takes lives when he wants, but most often is found toying in people’s affairs.

Feast not on the flesh; consume only the blood. This is our strength. (Fallout AU)

Butters turned to the Family when he accidentally killed and ate his parents in a violent attack in Rivet City. He left to escape being killed, and finally found his place in the world. He looks up to Vance like a father figure.

What To Do When You Are Dead (Ghost!Butters AU)

Dying in his room was the first thing that he remembered. He didn’t feel like he belonged there, but always returned when he was tired. His room was turned into an office and his mother became an alcoholic. His father blamed himself. They saw his ghost often but nobody believed them.

Mermaid Melody (Mer!Butters AU)

Butters is a lionfish with albinism, and is blind on land. He cannot see when he comes on land to sing and draw people to him to feed. He enjoys taking down ships and sending them along as ghosts of their former selves.

All Will Fall To Me! (Fractured But Whole AU)

Professor Chaos wanted desperately to take over the city. He needed to be in control, he needed to be loved or feared or hated, any kind of attention was good attention.

The Ungroundable (North Park AU)

Butters is hateful and cruel to others, though he is passive and soft to some people. His parents hate him but fear him at the same time.

I Got Your Back (Stick Of Truth AU)

Butters was a human Paladin, charged with protecting Princess Kenny or Dovahkiin. He loves his job and his friends, even if he grew weary of Eric’s deeds and Clyde’s transformation.

Say Goodbye To The Sun (Vampire!Butters AU)

Bitten by a vampire during a school trip to New Orleans, Butters was never the same again. Learning to be a vampire on his own proved to be difficult, so he sought out the South Park Vampire Society to try and help him learn.

Cannibals! (Wendigo!Butters AU)

It was painful when he was dropped down an old mine shaft and left for dead. It nearly killed him, but he found himself capable of eating Dougie, since he had died when they fell. It turned him into a Wendigo, and he prowls the mountains for food, now, constantly ravenous.

It’s Too Late To Switch Back (Werewolf!Butters AU)

Butters was bitten by a rabid dog one night, walking home from the library. He hid the wound from his parents, and eventually found that he was a werewolf. It was odd and scary at first, but he took it as a new freedom.

Invisible To The World (X-Men AU)

Butters was born with the ability to become invisible and to move through solid objects. It made his groundings easier to escape, and eventually led to him running away from home to an academy for mutants. His parents had always hated him for his powers, and he found camaraderie and kindness there.

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Shipping

None At This Time

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Open Starters

None At This Time

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Headcanon Posts

* ( positive personality traits!

Physical Traits Of Your Muse

Detailed Profile Tag

Bold Your Muse’s Aesthetic (Spooky Edition)

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Faceclaim - Ross Lynch

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Art By Me

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Pets

Hammy is a Syrian Short Haired Teddy Bear hamster. He is Butters’ best friend, and he pampers him as much as he can.

#I'd Rather Be A Crying Pussy (Butters)

2 notes · View notes

returntothefalls · 8 years ago

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Prologue

Return to the Falls, a Gravity Falls fanfiction

Before heading back to Gravity Falls for the summer, Stan and Ford make a quick stop at an old haunt. However, they are surprised to also find a familiar face waiting for them.

(Chapter 1 of “Return to the Falls”, a Gravity Falls fanfiction. The up-to-date entirety can be found here.)

The old man opened his eyes and blinked, confused. He was in the living room, in the old recliner, the best seat in the house. He must have dozed off while watching “Duck-tective,” but that didn’t seem right. That show engrossed him far too much to put him to sleep, even if he’d seen the episode a hundred times.

The TV was turned off, but that in itself wasn’t odd. If he’d fallen asleep with it on, his brother would have shut it off. That old nerd hated wasting energy and had gone on a big power-saving kick after getting the house back in working order, insisting that the rest of the family keep their lights off and devices unplugged when not necessary. Of course, that all seemed pretty rich coming from the guy who built a giant universe portal that ran exclusively on raw nuclear waste. It was a miracle the thing hadn’t rendered the whole town uninhabitable when it went to pieces.

Stan looked around, frowning. Had he imagined that sound? Maybe his hearing aid was on the fritz. The house seemed to be quiet, after all. The kids must have been outside. Or … what time was it? Afternoon? Night? The fact that he’d dozed off didn’t help him much; he could fall asleep in the armchair no matter the hour. Oh well, he felt no need to worry. Right now, all he wanted was a nice cool drink to counteract the heavy summer air.

A slight noise drew his attention and he glanced to his right. A pink aluminum can sat on the dinosaur skull end table. Had that been there before? He grabbed it and nearly dropped it in surprise; it was ice cold. Maybe Mabel had left it. She knew how much he loved his Pitt Cola, especially on a hot day like this. Without further question, he popped the tab.

The frosty beverage fizzed delightfully in his mouth. He took a long, refreshing drink and sighed in contentment. Now this was more like it. If the kids were out, he might as well just kick back and enjoy some alone time. He took another swig of his soda and picked up the remote. With the house to himself, this would be the perfect time to check out the Black and White Period Piece Old Lady Boring Movie Channel. The Shack was usually too busy for him to have a private moment to sit down and enjoy his guilty pleasure in peace. He pressed the power button.

There was a soft sound, like the gentle whisper of a breeze, but the television did not come on. He frowned and jabbed the button again. Still, there was no reaction. The batteries must have been dead. Of course this couldn’t be easy. He flopped back in the chair and groaned, even though no one was around to appreciate his dramatics. Why couldn’t Ford have invented a lifelong remote battery, or a robot butler to fetch new batteries, or something useful of that nature. Surely he and the hillbilly could have put something together. Sighing, Stan stood up, resigning himself to the fact that he’d have to move from his seat in order to change the batteries.

The TV flashed on, startling him with the sudden burst of color and sound. A young man with brown hair and an open-collared shirt danced onto the screen. “Hi, I’m Stan Pines of Stan Co. Enterprises!” Stan recoiled in shock from the face. His face.

It was a voice, fully audible now, emanating from everywhere and nowhere. This time, Stan heard it clearly over the commercial. The TV screen buzzed with static and the image changed. It was the younger Stan again, now sporting a bushy mustache. “Hi, I’m Steve Pinington!” Stan backed away further, sweat running down his back. Was it getting hotter? Was the TV possessed? Weirder things had happened in the Shack. Steam rose from the aquarium tank and, judging by the smell, Mabel’s lobster had been boiled to delicious perfection.

Stan’s hair stood on end. The room felt charged by the voice, like lightning was about to strike. The TV flickered again. “Hi, I’m Stetson Pinefield! Are you tired of piles of owls constantly blocking your driveway?”

The images flew by faster and faster. Stan’s skin was like wax, melting and dripping to the floor, but he felt no pain.

“I’m Hal Forrester!”

“They call me 8-Ball Alcatraz!”

“Hi, I’m Mr. Mystery!”

An exterior shot of the Mystery Shack remained on the screen, but its surroundings changed. The sign fell away, the decorations disappeared. Snow blanketed the house. The man of many names was still there, standing on the front porch, staring longingly at the door.

A. X. O. L. O. T. L.

The voice droned on with greater intensity. Stan sank to his knees, which squished sickeningly into the carpet. The picture darkened and the Shack faded away, but a strange orange symbol still glowed in the blackness. Without warning, Stan’s back seared with pain and he screamed as blue fire erupted from his scar.

A X O L O T L.

The screen changed one more time. Another man appeared, almost identical to the young Stan, but wilder, a manic glint in his unblinking eyes. A tattered red book was clutched in his six-fingered hands. He stared into Stan’s eyes as though he were there in the room, not merely an image on a screen. And perhaps he was.

The Journal floated out of his hand, pages flipping wildly in an unfelt gale. Azure flames licked at Stan’s legs and he struggled to stand back up, but he slumped forward again, his decaying body unable to handle the effort. A long, merciless laugh rang out, coming from the flames, from the Journal, from the doppelganger in the television.

A X O L O T L A X O L O T L A X O L O T L.

The fire loomed over Stan, twisting and writhing like an entity in itself. From within the chaotic mass, a familiar shape began to emerge.

“Stanley?”

The man from the TV was looking up at the fire, panic in his eyes. He lifted up into the air, his arms flailing, as he was drawn through the screen and toward the hellish triangle. Stan lunged forward, mustering all his energy, but he still could not reach. “St-Stanford!” He gritted his teeth, ignoring the flesh-colored drops that fell from his fingertips.

“Stanley?” The young Stanford was frantic, kicking and screaming in a vain attempt to distance himself from the fire. A white light glowed in the center of the triangle, shining like a beacon amidst the scorching sapphire. The mocking laughter shook the earth.

Stan tried to lift his arms, but his energy was gone. He fell to his side, could feel his cheeks sticking in the carpet, but his eyes were still locked on his brother. The words came unbidden to his lips. “I just got him back, I can’t lose him again!”

But he did not stop. With one final scream, Stanford disappeared into the light and the triangle, still laughing hysterically, crashed down onto Stan, consuming him in fire.

“Stanley!!!”

Stan sat straight up, gasping for breath. He spun around, but the flames were gone. The entire room had changed. He was sitting in a bed, a rather small one. His bed. He grabbed his glasses from the small bedside table and slipped them on, blinking as the world came into focus. The small cabin rose and fell in the gentle rhythm of the sea that he had grown so accustomed to. A figure stooped by the bed, gripping Stan’s arm with both hands. It was his brother – the grizzled old adventurer, not his crazy-eyed younger counterpart, driven half-insane by nightmares and paranoia.

Ford smiled, apparently relieved. “Thank goodness, you’re awake.”

“Yeah, thanks for that,” Stan grumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “I’m an old man, sleepin’ is one o’ the few pleasures left in life.”

“Sorry, but you were mumbling and thrashing around,” Ford said. “Seemed like you were having a nightmare. Everything okay?”

Stan swallowed hard, the image of the younger Ford covered in blue flames flashing through his mind again. “Of course I’m fine,” he said, keeping his voice steady. “I met the king o’ nightmares once, and I smashed his two-dimensional keister into a million pieces. There’s no nightmare left that can get the jump on ole Stanley Pines.”

Ford gave a short laugh. “Alright, fair point. But don’t hesitate if there’s anything you need to talk about. I promise, I’ll listen.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me yet,” Stan said, lightly shoving his brother aside as he climbed out of bed. “I haven’t even had my coffee.”

“Already poured you a mug,” Ford said, moving to the door. “Drink it fast and get ready. We arrived while you were sleeping.”

Stan froze halfway through pulling on his pants. “Here? Already?” He pushed past Ford and stepped out of the cabin. The ocean breeze tousled his shaggy hair as he crossed the deck, inhaling a deep lungful of tasty sea air. He leaned over the rail and gazed across the gray water to the dingy shore beyond.

Ford appeared next to him, coffee in hand. “I honestly never thought I’d see this place again.” He paused, watching a seagull as it drifted in lazy circles overhead. “I wasn’t sure I wanted to see this place again.”

“I know the feeling,” Stan said. “Technically speaking, I shouldn’t even set foot in the state. But hey, it’s been forty some years, no one’s gonna remember my ugly mug.”

Ford smirked. “Well, let’s get this over with. You get dressed and I’ll take us in.”

Stan turned back to the cabin, then glanced over his shoulder again at the city awaiting him. “I’m finally back,” he murmured, feeling almost dreamlike as he looked across the misty bay to the small wooden sign standing at the water’s edge, too far away to read but familiar nonetheless. “Glass Shard Beach.”

***

Strange as it was to return to Glass Shard Beach after so many decades, their entry had been quick and easy. Ford got them a good price for docking – and Stan continued haggling with the dockworker until the poor sap settled for $5 and an “ancient Antarctic artifact” made of paperclips, chewed gum, and some soon-to-be melted ice cubes. From there, they set out on foot, visiting a few familiar haunts. For a silent thirty minutes, they sat in the sand beneath a dilapidated old swingset, its seats long ago rotted away, and watched calm foamy waves lap at the shore. They explored the cave that had seemed like a whole new world to two adventurous New Jersey preteens; now, it was small and empty, offering nothing more than hollow nostalgia. The old pawn shop had been converted into a tattoo parlor. Stan joked that they ought to get matching tattoos, but Ford just pulled his coat a little more tightly around his neck and kept walking. And now, after a hearty breakfast at Hot Belgian Waffles, they reached their final destination.

Raindrops began to fall, slowly at first. Ford opened his umbrella and held it over Stan and himself. The brothers stood before three weathered stones. They were alone in the cemetery with nothing but unvoiced thoughts and unseen ghosts. Stan’s eyes ran over each of the graves, waiting for some kind of emotion to stir up inside him: sadness, regret, satisfaction? But he felt only emptiness as he read the three names again and again: his father’s, his mother’s, and his own.

Ford was the first to break the silence. “It was three days before I thought of them.” Stan kept his eyes locked on Filbrick’s name. “I’d been back in Gravity Falls for three days,” Ford continued. “I was in the basement, dismantling the Portal. Much easier to take apart than it was to build. But I guess that’s true for most things.” He chuckled quietly, but his smile faded as he looked at Stan. “Things had calmed down a bit by then, and I found myself thinking about all that I’d missed in the thirty years I was gone. And I thought about Ma, and Dad, and … well, I knew there was no way they’d still be around. So I never bothered to ask. And I thought a hundred times about coming back here to see them, but …” He trailed off.

Stan put a hand on Ford’s shoulder. “I would never’ve come back here without you either, Sixer.”

Ford smiled. “Thank you, Stanley.”

Stan gently elbowed his brother in the ribs. “That wasn’t so hard to say now, was it?” The two laughed, and Stan marveled at how far they’d come in the last nine months. That which had once divided them now brought them together.

“I’m glad we could do this,” Ford said. He frowned, gesturing to the third gravestone. “But we should probably tell somebody that you’re not actually dead.”

“Eh, the less people who know that, the better,” Stan said, waving his hand dismissively. “And, uh, ya should probably check with me before ya make any out-o’-state trips in the future. There may or may not be a few outstanding warrants in your name in the Northwest. And the Southwest. And the Midwest, the South, pretty much all your contiguous United States. And, uh, you’re not sittin’ too hot south of the border either. Basically, just stick to Oregon, Canada, and international waters, and even then I can’t make any promises.”

Ford sighed, massaging his temple and smiling in spite of himself. “I’ll try to keep that in mind. Now come on, we’d better get moving if we’re hoping to get home on time.”

Stan nodded. “Nothin’ left for us in this town anyway.” Together, he and Ford turned away from the graves, ready to leave, but they immediately stopped in their tracks.

Another figure was strolling down the path toward them, shielded from the rain by a purple umbrella spotted with a white floral design. It was an old woman, her face wrinkled and her shoulder-length hair white, but her stride was long and confident, undeterred by her onset age. Stan squinted at her, his brow furrowed in concentration. Even after his time spent with Ford and the kids, there were still little gaps in his memory that plagued him from time to time. And now something was setting off bells in his head, an image fighting to resurface at the edge of his consciousness.

The woman paused mid-step as she saw the two men in front of her, then continued toward them, flashing a friendly smile. “And here I thought I’d be the only one out here on a gloomy day like this,” she said.

Ford waited for Stan to speak – normally he was the one to take charge in social situations – but Stan’s mouth remained set in a grim line. “We were just in town for the day,” Ford said quickly. “Just leaving now, if you’ll excuse us.”

“Oh, of course,” the woman said, stepping aside. She glanced at the three gravestones as Ford moved past her, dragging Stan alongside him. “Did you know the Pines family?” she asked.

Ford didn’t look back. “Yes, we knew them.”

The woman nodded. “I did too, a long time ago. I thought I’d come see them one more time before I moved on to greener pastures.” She stared at the third tombstone for a moment before looking back to the brothers. “They suffered so much. But I’m sure you knew that already.” She smiled sadly. “I had just left town before it all started falling apart. Maybe if I’d stuck around, I could have done something to help.”

Stan gave a harsh laugh and finally met her gaze. “Lady, lemme tell ya, there’s nothin’ you or anyone else coulda done to help that mess of a family.”

The woman locked eyes with Stan, her expression mournful yet curious. Stan simply shrugged and turned away, nudging Ford to start moving. However, before he could take a step, the quiet voice behind him spoke once more.

“Stanley?”

He froze. Slowly he turned back. A single word popped into his head; it was strange, nonsensical, but it felt right. He was on the cusp of remembering, he just had to let that one word loose in the air.

“Hotpants?”

The woman laughed, even as her eyes brimmed with tears. “No one’s called me that in a long time.” She ran forward, dropping her umbrella in the dirt and throwing her arms around Stan. A rush of warmth ran through him as the bubbles of memory burst in his brain. He’d felt these arms wrapped around his neck before.

Ford’s eyes widened as he came to the same realization. “Carla? Carla McCorkle?”

“It’s good to see you, Stanford,” she said, pulling back from Stan and bending down to retrieve her discarded umbrella. She looked between the two brothers and laughed again. “I can’t believe I’m standing here with you two.” She glanced back at gravestones. “You know, I always wondered about you, Stanley. Seemed to me that a crazy guy like you would never kick the bucket so easily. But to think that I’d find you here now…” She wiped away a few stray tears. “Well, I never dared to hope for that.”

“I never thought I’d see you again either,” Stan said. “I’ve, uh, had a lot on my plate for the last few decades.”

“I can imagine,” Carla said. “Wow, I just … wow. You’re alive. Stanley Filbrick Pines is alive and standing right in front of me.” She looked to Ford. “There’s a story here.”

“A long one,” Ford said.

Stan scoffed. “My brother got too deep into sciency stuff and I had to fake my death and pretend to be him for thirty years while I tried to save his life.” He shrugged. “Pretty simple, if ya ask me.”

Carla raised an eyebrow. “Sounds like you’ve come a long ways from driving my boyfriend’s van off a cliff.”

“That hippie jerk was hypnotizin’ ya with his trash flower music!” Stan said. “I stand by what I did!” His voice softened. “But y’know, I’m, uh, sorry for all that. My nephew tells me that mighta been a bit much.”

“I appreciate the apology,” Carla said. “But don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ve grown a lot since then.”

“Less than you probably think,” Ford muttered, earning a jab in the ribs from his brother.

Carla was unable to hide her smile. “So, you say you have a nephew? Do you two have families?”

Stan grinned sheepishly. “Eh, we have our niece and nephew, Shermie’s grandkids. But that’s it. I dated around, but I never found anyone worth settlin’ down with. And my nerd brother ain’t exactly the marryin’ type.” He leaned in closer, glancing conspiratorially back at Ford. “Though if ya ask me, there’s a hillbilly back home he’d make a cute couple with.”

“Stan, I can hear you.”

Stan ignored Ford and winked at Carla. “And what about you? Live happily ever after with your granola-munchin’ Prince Charming?”

Carla snorted derisively. “No, Thistle Downe went out with disco. Dark times, those 70’s.” She shuddered. “But your story sounds a lot like mine. There were a few guys who came and went, but none of them were right for me.”

“Shame, they all missed out,” Stan said. “You’ve aged phenomenally.” He blushed. “Er, y’know, for an old broad.”

“How flattering,” Carla said dryly. “You’ve not done too bad yourself, Stan Pines.” Stan’s face grew redder and Carla laughed.

Ford cleared his throat. “Not to intrude on this happy reunion, but we do have places to be. The kids will be coming to town in a week and we hope to be there when they arrive.”

“Geez, Poindexter, sounds like you’re in a hurry to get rid of me,” Carla said, her tone playful.

Stan sighed. “Much of a buzzkill as he may be, my brother’s right.”

“I understand completely,” Carla said. She smiled. “It sounds like everything has turned out pretty well for you guys. I’m really happy for you. After everything that went down back in high school, I was afraid of where you would end up.”

“We went through a lotta bad stuff,” Stan said. “And it took us a long time to get past it. But we made it.” He grinned. “Maybe I’ll tell ya the whole story sometime.”

“I’d love to talk again,” Carla said. “Can I have your cell number?”

Stan scowled. “Hey, I’ll have you know I haven’t been to jail since … er, if ya don’t count that night for the Madame Ben Franklin dollars, or that whole nuclear waste thing that I was completely innocent of, then I guess it would be –”

Carla smirked. “Stan, I mean your cell phone number.”

Stan’s face flushed red again. “Er, yeah, of course. Uh, Ford, do we have one of those doohickeys?”

“Fiddleford fixed up this old laptop to give us direct video connection to Dipper, Mabel, and Soos’s devices,” Ford said. “And he also gave me this long-range walkie talkie for whenever we need tech support, like when Stan tries using the computer to check his cash-for-gold sites and crashes it with pop-up advertisements.”

“It’s important business!” Stan said indignantly. He leaned closer to Carla again. “Y’see, there’s change comin’. People say gold’s on the rise, but the real money’s in turquoise. Little pro-tip for ya.”

Ford sighed. “So to answer your question, no, we don’t have a cell phone.”

Carla laughed. “No worries. I’m sure we’ll get something worked out. Ask your niece and nephew to look me up on the Internet, they can hook us up.”

“It’s a deal,” Stan said. “If you’re ever in the neighborhood, just drop on by. That’s Gravity Falls, Oregon, by the way. Come to the Mystery Shack, buy some keychains, and ask for the original Mr. Mystery.” He gave a thumbs up and winked. “That’s me.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Carla said, smiling. She extended a hand, blinking in confusion as both brothers flinched back in response. But they recovered quickly, and Ford and Stan each shook her hand in turn. Stan’s fingers locked through hers, lingering in her grasp for a few extra seconds before he drew his hand back.

Ford coughed awkwardly. “Uh, Stan?”

“Yeah yeah, I’m comin’,” Stan grumbled. He made finger guns with both hands and pointed to Carla. “You stay frosty, puddin’ … uh, puddin’ pie, dessert cream, uh, creamy cat.” He covered his face with his hand. “Er, bye.”

Carla laughed and gave him another short hug. “Goodbye, Stan. I’m glad you’re alive.” She turned to Ford. “Make sure that doesn’t change.”

“It’s a struggle, but I’ve managed so far,” Ford said. He put an arm around Stan and turned him around. “Come on, Stan. Back to the ship.”

“A good brother wouldn’t let me make an idiot of myself like that,” Stan muttered.

“When have I ever been a good brother?”

Carla watched as the two old men walked away, bickering good-naturedly like they had as kids. Whatever had happened to them in the interim, some things never truly changed. It was a comforting realization.

She stared down at the gravestone before her and shook her head in disbelief. She had seen a lot of extraordinary things in her life, but Stanley Pines certainly took the cake. She still remembered the sparsely-attended funeral, where Ma Pines had stood up and given a short speech about her “free spirit” who had left too soon. Shermie stuttered through a generic speech about brotherly love. Filbrick remained stony-faced, never speaking a word through the whole event. And Ford didn’t even bother to show up – though now she knew why. Otherwise, there was nothing more than a smattering of townspeople, several of whom were simply looking for a refund on their Stan-Vacs or Shammies. Carla wasn’t sure why she attended, but she was glad she did. She’d seen firsthand how the world treated Stanley Pines, and she respected him all the more for his ability to keep standing under all that abuse. There was something to be appreciated in a man like that.

A coy smile played at the edges of her lips. She’d spent the last few years with no real aim in life anyway. But now she knew where she could find a little fun. She pulled her cell phone from her pocket and ran a quick search for maps, transportation, lodging.

Everything she needed to know about Gravity Falls.

GRQ'W DVN FDUOD DERXW KHU MRUWV SKDVH

#gravity falls #disney #stanley pines #stanford pines #carla mccorkle #return to the falls

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