#we shall persist regardless

[lionbearfox]

eternal shogun

[ethereal-cleanse]

Hi everyone! I'm Bambi, an amateur astrologer for 8ever and a 5-year tarot reader. I've always been nervous about putting my stuff out in the community, but I wanted to shed fear with this full, Flower Moon, and here we are. Now, let's get into the piles! Pile 1: Cards: The Tower, The Lovers, King of Pentacles For this group, I see drastic change coming. This full moon is urging you to release your fear and worry about how it will turn out and march forward confidently, determined, and with a focus on achieving your desired ending. A quality to support you in this time is either leaning into the love of a partner or finding roots in the love of yourself through your inner child, especially by spending time in nature. The wisdom of this moon is that while it may be hard to see the light, your hard work and dedication toward your goals, slow as they may be, will lead you to security and abundance.

Manifestation oracle card(s): Trust All Will Be Well & Trust The Universe (Nature) Spirit Guide: Overthinking “Reconnect with nature and reconnect with yourself” Pile 2: Cards: 4 of wands, The Star, King of Wands Those who were drawn to this pile may be entering a stage of life that feels celebratory, stable, or brings a sense of belonging, but there may be a fear of someone or something that will steal that joy. This full moon calls for you to trust yourself, your support system, and your intuition, and know that you have the tools needed to overcome any difficulties. A quality that can help in this time is having hope, positivity, and letting out your creativity! This period is meant to show you that you’ve come to the end of a cycle, found your true calling/place to belong, or fulfillment.

Manifestation oracle card(s): Take A Breather (Helper) Spirit Guide: Exhaustion “We’ve got this” Pile 3: Cards: Ace of Wands, The Gate*, 10 of Cups For this group, I see the cusp of success or a new chapter on the horizon! Unfortunately, however, there is a person or situation that this moon is asking you to let go of so that you can finally move forward. A quality to embrace during this time is finding calmness and peace within yourself through mindfulness, tranquility in safe spaces, and trusting your guides to see you through. This lunar time is to show you that having emotional stability will bring out a fearless, inspired, and happy version of you that you may have thought you lost along the way.

Manifestation oracle card(s): See The Bigger Picture (Higher Self) Spirit Guide: Pause “Pause. Leave it to me for now” Pile 4: Cards: 9 of pentacles, Knight of Pentacles, The fool

For our final group, I see that you have been through some heartbreak or an emotionally taxing time be that from love, financial struggles, or forced personal/spiritual growth but have persevered regardless. This full moon asking you to release any self-deprecating thoughts or tendencies these experiences may have caused because what you’ve been hoping for is on its way to you soon- but only if you let it in. A quality that can assist you at this time is to practice patience as you open yourself up to this new emotional path, as persistence and steadiness will help you reach your desires. This moon is meant to encourage you to embrace the journey ahead despite the twists and turns you will face because even our micro choices lead us to our destiny. Manifestation oracle card(s): Go Wild! (Higher Self) Spirit Guide: Truth “The truth shall set you free”

[adragonsfriend]

The Perfect is the Enemy of the Good, Dooku Style

Finally reading Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi by @stonefreeak and it got me thinking about what Dooku could’ve chosen to do with his position on Serenno.

Instead of delivering hundreds of worlds into the power of corporate interests to accumulate the power necessary to start a galactic war, he could’ve set about unionising those dissatisfied worlds for greater voting power in the Senate. Attempted to organise a peaceful exodus from the Republic. He could’ve just focused on helping out Serenno. He could’ve used Serenno as a platform for advocacy or as a humanitarian (sentiantarian?) outpost in the outer rim—in maybe conjunction with the Jedi or with other charitable groups, whichever.

Nobody cries over Sidious doing bad things, because he’s not narratively presented as a person (in the movies at least)—he’s more symbolic than anything. But Dooku shares Anakin’s fate. He’s a person, a good person with values, relationships to other people, and a desire to help others, who does unspeakable things because he becomes attached to his own ideas of perfection. It’s not an individual he can’t face grieving (well. it is a little bit about Qui-Gon too), but his inability to build a perfect society (anakin has some of this too) that makes him unable to accept his own limitations or ask for help.

All the suggestions above—unions, allies, charities, etc—they all require working with others, trusting that other people want what you want, that hope and compassion are not relics of a dying age, but powerful things which persist regardless of whatever victories which cruelty thinks it has achieved (through Power I gain Victory).

Dooku’s perfectionism—with a little help from Sidious—convinces him he is alone in wanting to change things (Peace is a lie, there is only Passion), and that suffering, his own and others, is the only way to make the rest of the world understand how it needs to act (through Passion I gain Strength). It is an incredibly individualist, not to mention lonely, set of beliefs (through Victory my chains are Broken, the Force shall free me).

It all leads neatly to the propositions:

If i can just tear down enough of society, then i will finally have enough control I need—and deserve—to build something perfect in its place;

I—or the decisive, pragmatic leader i put all my faith in—am the only person who can exercise this power to fix everything;

Any goal less than fixing everything is unworthy, and people who claim otherwise are unworthy of being included in the perfection I will create.

He’s (parts of) both Anakin and the Republic Senate’s arcs a decade early and in a single character. Fascism in a bottle.

In conclusion, a show about Dooku’s radicalisation over time could say some incredibly insightful things about US politics—by which I mean the Republican Party in general, Trumpism, the struggle of Democrats to unify, etc. Such a show probably shouldn’t be made because it would get twisted into a “and that’s why poor baby Dooku is sad and deserves everyone’s bowing-and-scraping-sympathy,” thing (which is not to say radicalized people do not deserve compassion—in fact they require it, lest we circle back to make our own little fascism), but if it was made it should feature Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan narrating and heckling Dooku as time traveling force ghosts (in between seeking genuine understanding of the past through Dooku’s decisions) because calling him weird would I think have the about the same effect as calling US republicans weird is having right now.

[horridgoblin]

In Need of Comfort (Part 1)

For part 2, click here. Tags: Fluff, hurt/comfort, romance, SFW, Christmas AU set in Waterdeep, gender neutral Tav x Gale. Warnings: Mentions of anxiety, anxiety in a crowded place, sensory overload. Disclaimer: I’m currently in the middle of Act 2, and I'm yet to finish BG3, so this is where my knowledge of the game stands. No spoilers please!

The Market was charged with the energy of festive cheer, and you could not help but feel entirely out of place. Sounds overwhelmed you; the crowds made you wish you were invisible, and a persistent sadness refused to leave your soul. The Market of Castle Ward was spectacular, despite how you felt. Twinkling baubles, trinkets, and other valuables were displayed proudly in their vibrant stalls. The scent of spice filled the air, and chants of merchants advertising their wares filled the atmosphere with electricity. It was a lot to take in. You wanted desperately to reciprocate the joy of the season, especially because Gale was beaming with joy; talking for weeks about how excited he was to show you how the ‘City of Splendour’ celebrates Christmas. 

A gentle, warm touch of Gale’s hand deliberately brushing yours snapped you out of your thoughts. As you looked up, brown eyes full of adoration locked yours. You could not resist but to smile. Gale was dressed in his best winter finery fit for the occasion, swathes of deep purple wool keeping most of the cold at bay. The grey streaks in his curly brown hair glinted in the winter sunlight, his beauty ethereal. Your anxiety abated with his love, but you thought it best to not show how you felt to preserve his happiness. Gale was always putting others before himself, and you wanted more than anything for him to have happiness in his life.

“You look absolutely stunning my love,” Gale said, gently tucking stray locks of your hair behind your ear, “I know we have a firm agenda set for today, but is there anything that catches your eye? I want nothing more than to spoil you.”

“Gale, spending time with you is a gift enough, please don’t fret.”

“Alright, I won’t try and outdazzle this gift, but I may be purchasing you a trinket or two regardless.” He winked, kissing your forehead, his beard scratching you lightly. “The stall with the brandy mincemeat is over there,” he pointed towards a stall of green tarp with jars gleaming in the sunlight, neatly lined up and tied with delicate red ribbon, “I bet I could add a bit of pizazz to it with an enchantment or two, though this doesn’t mean making the pies explode in some grand display, unfortunately.” You laughed at the thought despite your growing anxiety as you both approached the stall, hand in hand.

Snowflakes began to flit down from the greying sky, their icy touch amplified by fear as they landed on your face. The Market was becoming increasingly crowded. Claustrophobia was setting in. You had a nagging feeling to give into your base instincts and to run far, far away and hide. Instead, you gripped Gale’s hand for support. Your anxiety came at you at full force, and it was dizzying, the stall in front of you feeling imposing. 

Concerned, Gale took you aside and put his hand gently on your shoulder, turning you to face him. He leaned to whisper to your ear. “Are you ok, my heart?” 

Shaking your head to say no, he planted a feather light kiss onto your cheek. “These crowds must be immensely overwhelming; I can tell that as much. I am so sorry.”

“Don’t apologise, darling.” You murmured, croaking as you struggled to speak.

“I’m afraid I must.” Gale insisted, “I think it's best if we leave, I cannot have you suffering.” He cupped your cheek with his hand. “Would you like that? To return home?”

You felt incredibly guilty and ashamed. He was looking forward to this for so long. “We can stay, we have to buy things for tonight.”

Seeing the sadness on your face, he said, “Don’t concern yourself with that any longer, I shall deal with this.”  Turning back to the stall, he placed a loving hand on the small of your back as he purchased two jars of mincemeat. “Perfect! We can do without the rest and have a splendid night together. Shall we head home?”

Putting aside your guilt at his insistence, you nodded. He knew you liked to appease others; it was why you could relate to each other so much. Your fatigue from sensory overload made it hard to refuse his suggestions. Snowfall began to intensify so much that it was difficult to see. Most of the crowd rushed for shelter away from the increasing cold, and the two of you sped to find a hire coach home.

[missfrieden]

Tech as a father Chapter 70

I didn't forget to post. I was simply exhausted. But let's continue shall we? And I hope sash is right, I goggled it, says it is right, but still.

Also two things. Does someone know an easy way for # or is it a pain in the butt? And second, I still have a week of vacation left and then the Egypt AU will get continued, it involves a lot of research and fact check for me, as I am a perfectionist with it.

Masterlist | AO3

Chapter 70: More messages and teeth

Echo chuckles softly, adjusting Orion on his lap to keep his scomp socket arm safely out of reach. "You've got quite the grip there, little one," he murmurs, gently prying Orion's fingers away from the bandana-turned-sash.

Orion protests with a pout, but Echo distracts him with a small toy, hoping to shift his attention away from the metallic temptation, which currently holds him in place. "There you go, buddy," he says, smiling as Orion's focus shifts to the colourful toy in his hands. Tech nods appreciatively, grateful for Echo's help in keeping Orion occupied and safe. "Thanks, Echo. He's been quite attached to that bandana lately," Tech says, reaching over to ruffle Orion's hair affectionately. "Seems like it's become his favourite accessory." Smoothing Orion’s locks again before his gaze returns to his datapad.

Echo nods in agreement, watching Orion with fondness. "It's good to see him finding comfort in familiar things," he remarks, his gaze lingering on the little one with a mixture of pride and warmth. As they continue to watch over Orion, Tech can't help but feel a surge of gratitude for the bond they share as a team, as a family, each member looking out for one another and for Orion, their youngest member and greatest treasure.

Later with Orion finally settled into a peaceful slumber, Tech carefully reaches over and swaps the worn bandana for the fresh one Hunter had handed him earlier. He tucks the new bandana securely around Orion, making sure it's positioned just right, not to tight or to loose, and smiles softly at the sight of his sleeping son. "Rest well, little trooper," Tech whispers, brushing a gentle hand over Orion's forehead. He's relieved to see Orion sleeping soundly, no longer clutching the worn bandana but instead nestled comfortably with the new one.

Tech sits back, feeling a sense of satisfaction knowing that Orion now has a fresh bandana to hold onto, one that still carries the comforting scent of his uncle. He watches over Orion for a while longer, feeling grateful for the small moments of peace amidst the chaos of their lives as soldiers. As he gazes down at Orion's peaceful face, Tech can't help but marvel at the resilience of their little family, bound together by love and a shared sense of duty. With Orion safe and content, he knows they can face whatever challenges lie ahead, together as a team.

Tech notices Orion's increased fussiness and his tendency to gnaw on his fingers persistently, regardless of whether he's wearing gloves or not. Concerned, Tech carefully examines Orion's gums and feels something sharp poking through again. He gently presses his finger against Orion's lower gum and confirms his suspicion, two more tiny teeth are starting to break through.

"Looks like someone's getting some more teeth," Tech remarks with a mix of pride and concern, knowing that teething can be uncomfortable for infants. Orion squirms and protests as Tech continues to examine his gums, now even more so as the first time, but Tech remains gentle and reassuring. "We'll make sure you're comfortable, little trooper," Tech says, gently stroking Orion's cheek. He knows that teething can be a challenging milestone for both parents and babies which will get worse and worse till all are there, but he's determined to help Orion through it with patience and care.

Tech prepares to adjust their routine to provide extra comfort and relief for Orion as his next teeth continue to emerge. He's ready to soothe Orion's discomfort with even more teething toys, chilled teething rings, and gentle massages on his gums, ensuring that Orion feels safe and supported every step of the way.

Tech carefully composes an encrypted message to Amanda, detailing Orion's recent health concerns and developmental milestones. He writes about Orion's recent illness and how he's been rather clingy to Hunter lately, attaching a myriad of pictures to showcase their son's current state. Tech also mentions the exciting news of Orion's next few teeth starting to break through, sharing his pride and concern as a parent.

In the message, Tech expresses his hope that Amanda is doing well and reassures her that despite the challenges, they're managing just fine. He updates her on their daily routines and the squad's missions, making sure to include every detail that he knows Amanda would want to hear about their son. Tech encrypts the message with the utmost care, ensuring that only Amanda will be able to access and decode it. He attaches the photos of Orion, capturing every precious moment of their son's journey, from his playful antics to his first toothy grin, with now more than one tooth, even if the other two are just fine with lines.

With the message sent, Tech waits anxiously for Amanda's response, knowing that their bond as parents transcends the distance between them. He finds solace in the knowledge that no matter where they are, they're united in their love for Orion and their commitment to his well-being.

Tech's smile widens as he reads Amanda's reply, feeling a mix of warmth and longing for their shared moments as a family. He takes comfort in Alma's eagerness to see Orion again, even wanting the Separatists to return and Amanda explaining that not the squad is necessarily sent, knowing that their son has brought joy not only to them but also to others around them. Despite the uncertainty of their future missions, Tech finds solace in the fact that their love for Orion transcends any distance or separation.

Tech types out a heartfelt response to Amanda, expressing his gratitude for Alma's fondness for Orion and assuring her that they'll do everything they can to keep their family safe. He shares updates about Orion's latest milestones, and attaches more photos to the message, capturing every precious moment of their son's growth.

As he sends the message, Tech can't help but feel a pang of longing for Amanda's presence by his side, but he knows that their love for each other and for Orion will sustain them through any challenges that lie ahead. He finds solace in the knowledge that no matter where they are, they're always together in spirit, united in their devotion to their son and to each other.

Chapter 71

Reblogs are very welcome and I am open for feedback, as english is not my first language, so maybe my sentences may be weird sometimes, or I write a word wrong even with google, or I use a wrong word for an item.

Tag: @spectacular-skywalker @clonethirstingisreal @sleepycreativewriter @moonwreckd @sskim-milkk @heidnspeak

[the-one-who-lambs]

ok here's the essay

So. How much evidence is there that the Fanatic was the god of knowledge before Shamura? Not much. The game is deliberately vague on what exactly the Fanatic was the god of, but there's just enough crumbs to point in that direction. They tell the Lamb they are waiting for "one who values truth over all else" and in tablet II they pray to the Great Ones for understanding. They also give the Lamb the snake follower form; the serpent tempts Eve to eat from the tree of *knowledge* of good and evil, so the symbolism is there.

The smoking gun for me, though, is the early unused version of tablet X.

"I am shamed, shamed. I deserve no forgiveness. I deserve to die here, shrouded in sin. I renounced the First Gods. How easily pain made a defector of me. I will take whatever punishment is due, but I beg you, reader of these chronicles, remember: they call their faith old, but they are nothing more than heretics. He of havoc, he of blight; she of hunger, they of might. He that lays a soul to rest; five remain of hundreds blessed."

From there we can infer a few things:

The bishops obviously did Something to the Fanatic.

The Fanatic had to be tortured into going along with whatever that Something was. It wasn't just inflicted on them, their cooperation was needed somehow, possibly as part of a ritual or spell.

It didn't kill them. They even managed to get out one last tablet afterward.

We never find out what exactly it was; the Fanatic only describes it as having "renounced the First Gods".

By the time the story starts, the Fanatic isn't around anymore. We hear their voice but that's it.

We know that gods in the COTL universe canonically leave behind a "lingering presence". That lingering presence can persist even if the god loses the Crown and becomes a mortal, or even dies as a mortal; this is what happens with the bishops.

Tablet IX and the Offering to the Owl also heavily imply Haro was once a god of hunting, who willingly relinquished the title for unknown reasons. Maybe this is what the Fanatic meant by "the Owl has chosen a different tact"; giving up their proper godhood, leaving them with their weaker current form (notably, Haro's crown has a crossed-out eye, like it's "dead").

From Ancient Tablet IX: "[…] for regardless of what they threaten, I shall never relinquish my beliefs."

In tablet VIII, the Fanatic refers to their crown as "the blessing of the First at my brow". HMM.

In tablet VII we learn Shamura approached the Fanatic seeking their allegiance, but was turned away. HMMMMMMMMM.

IF, indeed, Shamura found a way to take domain over knowledge from its rightful owner, in addition to already having domain over war, that would add a whole new layer of thematic resonance to their story. The creators have said a big theme in COTL is that those who try to deviate from their nature are usually punished by the universe. Shamura getting greedy, claiming another god's domain in addition to their own, their newfound domain over knowledge leading them to encourage Narinder's experiments, and it all blowing up in their face catastrophically… their descent into madness makes a nice parallel with Chemach also

tl;dr: ITS REAL. I FIGURED IT OUT, ITS REAL, YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE M

This is SO interesting and I'm frying my brain trying to comprehend this in all its glory while I watch @linkerbell draw one of the most cursed images i've ever seen

OKAY BUT HARO GOD OF THE HUNT YEAH SHAKES HAND SHAKES HAND

[lunarflux]

↔ ᴍʏ ᴅᴀʀᴋ ᴄᴏᴍᴘᴀɴɪᴏɴ, ᴘᴛ 6

Aemond Targaryen x Fem!OC

genre—smut, dark romance song inspo—bad omens - death of peace of mind, billie eilish - my boy, halsey - young god, isabel larosa - i'm yours, florence & the machine - seven devils, 070 shake & christine and the queens - you can't kill me summary— Aemond indulges in his twisted desires with a woman who knows his every need. They meet in secret, their passion driven by his anger and her willingness to submit to his painful advances. Aemond craves her, yet despises the intimacy that follows. He questions why she always returned to him, knowing that she did not love or care for him. The cycle of desire and anger persists, leaving him yearning for more, caught in a tormented state until their next encounter.

Alicent could not bring herself to speak to Adiel again without someone else present. Their previous conversation left her shaken, worried about the girl’s motives. Adiel was bound to be underestimated by many if she had not already fooled them into trusting her innocence. Never before had she spoken in such a manner in front of the Queen, let alone at all, for she usually stayed silent by Drystan’s side when she accompanied him to small council meetings. Alicent did her best to shake off the feeling as the council gathered once more.

Aegon stared them all down as they took their place around the table, setting their respective stones before them to indicate their willing participation for the day’s discussion. Aemond sat across from his brother on the other end, silent and curt as he usually did. Alicent couldn’t keep herself from glancing especially as Drystan and Adiel arrived, the last of their guests for today’s meeting.

They all took turns speaking. Aegon responded apathetically, nodding every now and then, contributing enthusiastically only when it was a topic he felt particularly passionate about or didn’t agree on. Aemond remained without a word.

Though now, it was obvious. Alicent saw his eye follow Adiel as if he couldn’t bare to look away. And while Adiel stood diligently off to the side, Aemond’s stare would not divert.

Alicent tried to call his attention, but even saying his name aloud would not steer him away.

Drystan, though active in the discussion, noticed the Queen’s anxious grimace. He followed her eyes, seeing they lay upon her son. And when he followed once more, he found himself turning to Adiel who kept her attention to the floor.

Aemond took his goblet, still filled to the brim with wine, and stood.

Aegon grinned, motioning for his brother to speak.

“I have decided to take a wife,” Aemond began, keeping his gaze forward.

The members of the small council muttered to themselves before they joined with joyful jeers, congratulating the young Prince for having chosen to further his influence.

“Lord Borros has accepted the King’s terms then?” One asked.

Aegon nodded, “He has indeed. Lord Borros has diligently declared his loyalty to the Iron Throne, and we shall expect his armies to follow should there be a need.”

“Is Prince Aemond set to wed Maris Baratheon? Or perhaps Floris? Regardless of his decision, this will be a most fruitful union.”

Drystan watched closely as Aemond’s gaze fell on Adiel at the prodding of his choice.

“Lord Tyrell,” Aegon turned, “I owe you a congratulations. The Tyrells have remained neutral in this conflict thus far, but once my brother is married, we shall see to it that the bonds between our houses are strong.”

“Your Grace?” Drystan couldn’t bring himself to ask for clarification.

Alicent stood, realizing her mistake at not telling Aemond that she had not yet spoken to Drystan about the arrangement. Before she could explain further, Drystan looked at her. His expression then grew dark, finally understanding what was being laid out before him.

“Am I to understand that Prince Aemond has chosen my daughter as his betrothed?” His voice shook.

Adiel’s head flicked forward, though her stare remained cold.

“Lord Tyrell—”

“My Queen,” Drystan cut Alicent off, “I must insist this is most irregular. This is the first I have heard of—”

“Do you object to the Prince’s decision, Lord Tyrell,” Aegon cocked his head to the side.

With every prying question, Drystan grew more and more frustrated, and Aemond’s lack of contribution to the matter at hand only furthered his ire. Aemond put down his cup, folded his hands behind his back, and simply waited for the utterances to cease.

Drystan would not have peace if the Prince would not explain himself. Slamming his fist down on the table, he stood, pointed a finger at Aemond, and lowered his voice to a menacing tone, “You do not ask for her hand. You do not approach me when this decision was made. You left King’s Landing for Storm’s End with the understanding that you should return betrothed to a Baratheon, and here you are! Declaring that you are to take my only child for a wife. You—a kinslayer—will shift your gaze, sir! I will not allow this—”

“—Lord Tyrell, you will hold your tongue!” Aegon wailed, and it silenced the room.

Drystan faced Alicent, pleading with his eyes, “My Queen, please, if there is an explanation for this decision, I must insist that you deliver it.”

Alicent looked around the room. She waved her hand, “Out—everyone. I must speak with Prince Aemond alone.”

All, save for Aegon, quietly shuffled away. Drystan took Adiel’s hand and led her out.

Alicent placed her hand on Aemond’s cheek, resisting the urge to strike him and his ill-timing. She drew a sharp breath, “I know you were not able to provide a reason for your decision before, but given what has just transpired, I must know.”

Aegon ran his fingers across his chin before leaving for the opposite side of the room.

Aemond stared down at his mother, taking her hand in his, and spoke, “I cannot provide the answer you desire.”

“Aemond, if you do not give me a reason, then I am inclined to respect Lord Tyrell’s wishes. With what happened at Storm’s End, we cannot afford anymore sudden movements for selfish reasons.”

His eye would not shift, though he was deep in thought. He knew there would be questions, but not to this extent. Had he ever wished for something in the past, there was no argument, only silent grief. He searched for his words carefully, “I fear that her absence may drive me to madness.”

Alicent backed away, shocked at his sudden gentle speech.

“I do not ask much of you, mother,” he beseeched, “My brother is king, a seat which you and I both know I am more deserving, and now I ask you to spare me from insanity. Give me Adiel, and it will silence me of this matter.”

Alicent searched her son’s face for anything she might have missed within the shallow reason, and what she saw was her son, longing in anguish. This may have been the first time she ever really saw this kind of grief within him. Then again, Aemond was always a child in silent distress. This was not a child’s sadness, it was that of a man who wanted something so badly, and did not know how to express it outside of his body.

Alicent opened the door and summoned Adiel. Drystan tried to step forward, but she held her hand up, halting him as she shut the door.

Adiel stood before Aemond and Alicent with her head hung low.

Alicent propped up the young girl’s face with her fingers, studying the vacant expression, “You are still in search of a husband, yes?”

“Yes, Your Grace.”

“And…” Alicent took a deep breath, “Do you understand what is being asked of you?”

“I don’t believe my feelings on this matter will effect the outcome, Your Grace.”

Alicent nodded curtly. The girl’s defenses were surely up again, and there was to be no honest response that would be received well, “Will you accept Prince Aemond’s hand?”

Adiel only looked forward, “Does the Queen demand my acceptance or does the Prince?”

"The Prince asks for it," Aegon stepped out of the shadows. The smirk on his face slowly dimmed to seriousness. He parted his mother and brother, looking upon the girl directly, "Your King demands it.”

[kaseyskat]

hi it's nyx here once again to talk about lark vs henry and what that meant for sparrow because i swear every episode that shows even a Little bit of sparrow's actual personality is controversial.

"nyx what do you mean by this" well it's a very blatant fact that sparrow does not get much nuance in the fandom: this is especially prevalent when examining hero's conversation with normal where she explicitly calls out lark and rebecca alongside sparrow and yet sparrow is solely blamed. because of this, every time we do see sparrow be his genuine self in the show - from talking to scary and shielding her from violence to taking charge of grant and lark and wanting to help the teens to the most recent episode's case of him not believing in animal captivity - i've noticed people quickly jumping on him for being hypocritical but nobody asking why he would be hypocritical, or why he's made choices that clearly do not reflect his actual beliefs.

so let's talk about that, shall we?

i know i've talked about this before but it bears repeating: sparrow is complacent. he has consistently made decisions that go against his own beliefs, bottling up his actual thoughts on the matter in order to "keep the peace". we know this, this is a canon fact, he said as much about lark and rebecca's affair!

why does he do this? well to me, what makes the most logical sense is that this stems all the way to lark and henry's conflict. if the rogue card is only predicting anger and not enforcing it, that means there is more to lark's anger than just what happened with walter. part of that is his fear of being unable to protect the people he cares about, being helpless in situations where he could've done something, yes, but i do believe there's another root cause to his anger, one that would fuel him for decades: sparrow.

...well, more specifically, how henry changed sparrow.

we know that lark wasn't the happiest about the lovewolf split. after the lord of chaos arc, sparrow starts very slowly developing a separate personality, enough so that he and lark aren't necessarily the same kid, one unit, the same person twice. sparrow tried to teach lark his new philosophy, it was ultimately rejected. lark doesn't understand it! but he loves sparrow regardless. that disappointment, that resentment of how sparrow had changed... it goes back to henry, to henry giving sparrow that speech and reinforcing those beliefs!

we also know that originally, sparrow didn't want to pick a side. he wanted them both to get along! to reconcile! and we know that lark didn't tell him about what he saw on the throne, which has me believing that there were, perhaps, other things that lark didn't tell sparrow in crucial moments: such as his decision to release the doodler, since we really don't know if sparrow knew. sparrow would've been happy to reconcile the two, and it makes sense if this was something he didn't know but something that shakes his perspective: aka, what happens if lark doesn't confide in him. to get lark back on his side, he has to be on lark's side irrevocably, which means abandoning his peacekeeping and mediation to choose lark wholeheartedly.

so by the time the ep23 flashback happens... sparrow has lost that bit of personality he had started to form in s1. he's lark's other half again, helping him with plans, sharing his ideas. he has... you could say, lost his confidence in being a lovewolf, because despite his best efforts, it only brought more strife to his family and he doesn't want to lose lark. we know this! he doesn't want to lose lark!

and then, they find out the prophecy, that one of the twins will have a kid who will save the world. think about everything we know about lark, how stubbornly persistent he was on fixing things Himself since he puts the weight of the world on his shoulders alone. lark doesn't blame sparrow or henry, he only blames himself. would he jump at having a family to fix his mistakes? no.

but sparrow would.

so sparrow takes that burden from him. sparrow has hero when he is twenty, and lark gets to be the cool uncle who helps around the house and hero blames both twins equally so we know they did this together. sparrow doesn't want to lose lark again, he doesn't want to be himself, he adapts to rebecca's views because it's easier than admitting that maybe he shares some of the same- definitely makes him marrying a vegan centrist make sense, right? he can use rebecca as a scapegoat and it Works. his own personality gets shafted in favor of being the same man twice with lark, he bottles everything up, he disapproves but never says as much.

and he fucked up with hero. clearly, he knows that. hero has a regular life now at a private school with a job and an internship and she's a massive dweeb and i don't think any one of you could look me in the eye and say that lark approved that. it was sparrow's decision! and we know what lark thinks about sparrow's parenting: i need every one of yall who truly believes that lark would be a better father to normal to go and relisten to normal's introduction scene in ep1 and then to the end of ep24 again where lark explicitly tells normal that being the mascot is a waste of his time when he could be learning "actually useful" skills (like hunting and survival- and yall still think sparrow was the one having hero kill deer?) and that he's too soft-hearted and naive and that is sparrow's fault for being too nice. normal would not be the same kid if lark was raising him and that is NOT a good thing lmao

all of this to say. i am so tired of people understanding lark's nuance and understanding grant's nuance and understanding the s1 dads and their nuance and how their trauma fucked up their relationships with their kids and yet sparrow is the one yall bash every other week repeatedly without ever wondering like. huh. maybe it is strange that his actions now don't hold up against his actions in the past. maybe there's something else going on that is consistent with literally every other aspect of his character. it is so tiring to go into his tag and see the same things over and over and over again repeated on loop every time we see sparrow's actual personality slip out beyond him perpetuating the "same man twice" persona. he's nuanced! they're all nuanced! and that's a good thing!

sparrow's biggest issues are his complacency, the way he upholds decisions that might not really be the best decisions because it's easier. his love for lark and his desire to fix things clouds his judgement and yeah, that means he goes against his own morals frequently; or at least, he did. so far in the season though, with how he's treated normal being in the line of fire and getting into his mess, he's definitely already realized this and is putting in the work to ensure that normal doesn't go through what hero did- something that lark is not doing. sparrow's also been the best towards the other teens consistently, the most willing to listen and change his perspective (as demonstrated again in ep24- really i just think people need to relisten to ep24!) and he's definitely not the best dad but that can be said not just about all the kiddads but also about literally every dad in this podcast, because that's what this podcast is about. thank you for reading and i hope i don't have to make this post again in a few weeks <3

[liminalpebble]

May I have one for our favorite ginger General Hux?

Well, well, well, you insolent rebel scum,

Have you learned yet to properly respect the First Order? Do you surrender yet to true power, or shall we play this little game a bit longer? Of the two of us, I must add, you are the only one suffering. For me, it is simply an exhilarating game....one which I will always win.

Your willfulness, while frustrating, is admirable and adorable in its futility. That insolent challenge smoldering in your eyes when I visited your cell was just splendid, beautiful even. However, you will be even more beautiful on your knees. The harder you struggle, the more satisfying it will be to see you soften and yield.

There would be lavish rewards for your obedience, pet, but I would be equally generous in my punishments if you continue your resistance.

Yield. Surrender yourself to me and to The First Order. My special attention towards you shall persist regardless. Whether that will bring you pain or pleasure depends upon your choice.

I'll visit again soon, and when I do, I expect answers.

General Hux

@lemongingerart

[sirensplayhouse]

remember when challenge 🥀

this post is for my babies who undoubtedly know the law is real y’all done manifested consciously before but you’re stuck in a hole when it comes to manifesting what you REALLY WANT

ok so let’s get into it i want you to forget about all the different techniques you’ve read about, states, the void, everything

sit back , stand do whatever and think back to when you first learned about the law of assumption. how did you react to learning that you can change you reality in the blink of an eye ? skeptical ? disbelief ? all of the related synonyms ? 99% of us probably scrolled past the post of whatever we were reading and said “yeah right”. but then it lingered in the back of the mind and that “yeah right” slowly transformed into “what if” .

so if you were like me that “what if” got the best of me and i decided to test it i figured what else would i have to lose ? i would only have to gain . so i read up on the law of assumption and got down to the basics, “your assumptions manifest” , “an assumption though false, if persisted in shall become reality” and it sounded too good to be true. so i tested it , there was an outage in our area with our internet (and for all of us who have spectrum y’all know it be blinking from blue to white or will just turn red ? yea) so my modem was just red and so everytime i looked at it i said or thought “it’s blue” i persisted in that assumption for a day and a half. everytime i walked past it and it caught my eye or i caught myself thinking about it, i affirmed that it was blue and that the internet was back working. A DAY AND A HALF (and i say a half because it wasn’t even a full two days before i saw what i wanted to see) and the modem was it’s usual blue color and we were back in action.

so me being me i’m like whaaaaaaaaa- 🤭because there were still reports of the outage in our area but we weren’t experiencing any problems anymore.

so that brings me to this challenge i want you regardless if you’re new to manifesting or continuously over consuming information . to state what you want and everytime you find yourself thinking about your desires affirm that it’s yours or visualize yourself with it. that’s it and that’s all. no you don’t have to consciously believe in what you’re telling yourself that’s what your subconscious is for. when you tell/show yourself what you want and desire and PERSIST your subconscious automatically starts to believe what you show/tell it. and by law it has to materialize into your reality it’s no other way around it.

[misterewrites]

I know it's not great.

It's not over yet, remember that, though I can't pretend to say it's looking awesome either. Whatever happens next, however this turns out, remember this.

I love you. I am proud of you for making it this far and trying your best. You are not alone, We are not alone. We have each other and that's where we start.

Below is something I wrote to help me process things as I wait for...whatever is next. I hope it helps you too.

Have a better week and remember, one step at a time. Just take it one step at a time.

“I am tired.”

“So I am my friend.”

“Why do you persist then? Why do you struggle against the unyielding eternity?”

“Because I must.”

“You are far stronger than I.”

“I am not. I am mortal, human just as you are. I am no more special than anyone else. I have not been chosen from on high nor do I have some grand destiny laid before me. Regardless of what others may say or think, we are one and the same.”

“Yet you possess the will to fight, to carry on while I wish to fight no longer. I wish to stop.”

“I cannot fight for myself. I have never thought highly of the person who stares back in the mirror though I do not loathe them either. I fight others, for those who cannot. For those who need my strength when theirs falter. I fight for those I love so they may know a moment of peace, no matter how brief. I fight for strangers, lost and alone in the dark so they may have a glimmer of light to carry them through the night. I fight because I can and thus I must.”

“Such a noble goal. I feel selfish for fighting only for myself, for my peace and my survival.”

“Do not feel shame! You are not our enemy, ignorant and proud. Reveling in a childish hatred that would make children weep with sorrow. There are many reasons to fight and thus you have chosen yours. You wish to live a peaceful life. There is no shame in this and none can fault you for it. It is the right for us all.”

“If I give up, if I lay down, would you hate me?”

“I hope you find a spark, a cause to carry you through the dark. Live for spite or rage. Live for love and kindness. Live to see a better world or perhaps there is something else you wish to behold. Live for whatever you need to arm yourself for the future, to grant you the will to carry on. It does not have to be some grandiose purpose or reason. Whatever you choose to carry on with me will be important because it is important to you.”

“You did not answer my question.”

“I could never hate you. I wish these times were not upon us. I wish we did not live through such harrowing moments of history but alas we do and here we are. Yet take solace humans have always done so. Countless life altering moments across history, events too vast to comprehend, lives changed in impossible and unforeseen ways. Yet our ancestors persisted. They lived and their children lived and their children lived and then their children made us.”

“Will you carry me should I fall? Should I not be able to carry on?”

“Whatever becomes of us I will carry you forward. I will carry your name and your existence and your will into the future. I will carry the memory of you as far as my existence allows. As long as I draw air, I will remember you. And you will remember me.”

“This fight is not yet finished.”

“Neither are we.”

“I need a moment.”

“Take all the moments you need. Whatever you need I shall wait for you. I shall lift your spirits and I shall chase your weariness away just as you shall mine. We will find happiness and peace this I swear. You are not alone.”

“We are not alone.”

“We have each other and we will do what we must to fight on.”

“I love you.”

“And I love you. Never forget this.”

[cainluvr69]

Main Story 2 Chapter 20 - The Willingness to Lead (First Half)

Previous Chapter

1 - What You Can't Live Without

Eva: Listen closely, child of Bain.

Bradley: My name's Bradley. Get it through your skull already, Eva. Remember it, and I'll make it worth it.

Eva: Fufu, what an impudent little brat. Well then, I'll be sure to remember you. Listen closely, Bradley.

Bradley: Yeah.

Eva: We are Northern wizards. We bear strong and free souls. And so to live with strength and freedom… You mustn't have something you cannot live without.

Bradley: Something I can't live without?

Eva: Yes.

Bradley: Even like a magical focus?

Eva: Yes. Though you may love it as though it were an extension of yourself, you must always be ready to part with it. Both you and I are proud and solitary kings. No matter how many things we encounter capable of moving our hearts. For should your heart be stolen by someone else, you will become their prisoner.

Bradley: Prisoner? You mean just havin' something irreplaceable in the world at all makes you one?

Eva: Here in the North, acquiring something we value the same as our own lives turns that something into a chain, binding us. Just look at Oz. If there is nothing to move your heart, there is nothing you need pay heed. He has the most isolated heart in the world. And because of it, he is invincible.

Bradley: What about you, Eva?

Eva: Excuse me?

Bradley: Would you be able to get rid of something even if you loved it more than anything?

Eva: Of course. Do you really think I would be controlled by the likes of my own heart?

✦✧☾✧✦

Murr: Oh, my beloved… If it were for you, I wouldn't mind changing the very nature of my soul. As long as you are always yourself, it doesn't matter if I'm no longer me.

Shylock: … I'm aware love afflicts both fools and the wise equally, but… It's still quite a sight to see someone like you throw away your pride with such vulgarities. Changing your soul isn't a gesture of love or adoration. It's an expression of dependency, is it not?

Murr: I'm fine with being dependent. Belonging to the one you love is happiness, don't you think? I don't need an immutable soul. Protecting your heart as it is is a lovely thing. Persistence is a beautiful trait. But if change is unnecessary, then that would mean both you and I wouldn't need companionship in this vast galaxy of ours. If the friction needed to polish a gem is unnecessary, then the collision, collapse, supernova, and subsequent birth of the hundreds of millions of stars shining above us is also unnecessary. I want you to hurt me and in doing so, bring something I've never noticed before to my attention. I want you to show me things I don't yet know about, leave me scared and anxious…I'd enjoy that kind of surprise. I love this beautiful world. My hands will not reach to the stars above… So I am always thinking of them.

Shylock: … Though I'm sure this will come as a disappointment… I don't know anyone who shines as brightly as you.

Murr: Ahaha. Truly, what a disappointment.

Shylock: …So please… Don't say you'll change the essence of who you are…

✦✧☾✧✦

Rustica: What a fun day today has been. I'd be happy if you felt the same. Zara.

???: I won't forget today until the day I die. Because of dear, kind Aria, I was able to make the best memories I shall ever have in my life…

Rustica: Let's make more wonderful memories together. As my beloved Aria's elder sister, you are my elder sister as well.

???: …

Rustica: And we are both wizards, as well. I was raised freely and unhidden in the Sapphire Castle. So, Zara. One day, you too, shall have your freedom…

???: Lord Rustica. Please let me see your face one last time before you leave… Please, closer… So that I may engrave it into my eyelids, that I never forget it.

Rustica: Please, feel free. But you needn't engrave anything anywhere. I will still come to see you regardless. As often as you wish, as long as you still desire it.

???: …Thank you very much. But, I already… Please don't say such kind things to me. I'll become more wicked by the day. Had I never met you… Had the flame of desire never ignited in my chest… I could have loved both Aria and this world.

Rustica: Zara?

???: …Such beautiful eyes… Kind eyes, in which only a beautiful world exists… From the day you were born, you were beloved by all, blessed like the protagonist of a fairy tale. Living a life unhurt, unafraid, never faced with anything filthy or unclean… I am sure your beautiful soul, Lord Rustica, will never change, no matter what the world may offer you.

Rustica: Zara. You are also beloved and celebrated, you know. I love you. And I know Aria does, too.

???: … …I love you too… …Lord Rustica…

✦✧☾✧✦

Owen: ……

Cain: Owen…

Owen turned his face away, without even a smirk on his lips. I glared at him. I didn’t think I could do anything else. I couldn’t see what expression Arthur was making right now. It’s not as if I couldn’t see him because of my injury from the <Great Calamity>. But I felt so guilty, the kind of guilt that can’t be properly formed into words, that I couldn’t bear to look at him. That was when I realized something. I was trying to come up with some sort of excuse for all of this. What the hell am I doing?

Arthur: It’s alright. I have an escort. Ah, right there.

Arthur glanced over towards me. Owen was still not looking at me, his arms crossed–I’d never seen him act like this before. And then, I saw him sneak a glance at me. I just kept glaring at him full force. I’d never wanted Arthur to see me like this. I hated Owen as much as I hated myself. But for just a moment, I saw something I couldn’t put a name to flickering in his eyes. That just made me feel even more guilty, and I didn’t know why. It was as if…I was seeing the little Owen because of how messed up things had gotten. But soon enough, he met my glare with his own equally sharp one. Like a beast.

Cain: (If he’s making that kind of face, he has to be the real one.)

Arthur: Alright, thank you. Owen. Could you come here too, please?

Arthur took one of Owen’s arms and together, they came over to me. I had no idea what to do. Owen didn’t, either. All I could do was steel myself and look up at Arthur. He…wasn’t looking at me with contempt, or even disappointment. He was in his blue training outfit, and his clear blue eyes were sparkling. Seeing him like that…I felt my face turn grim, and I started to yell at him.

Cain: Artie, what are you thinking? Only high ranking military officers are allowed in here! Grunts like you should know their place!

I lightly knocked Arthur away and then jabbed my finger towards his chest. The worst thing that could happen here would be anyone else here finding out who Arthur really was. I was just trying to get him out of here safely. He looked startled at first, but upon realizing what was going on, decided to match my pace.

Arthur: My sincerest apologies. However…

Owen: You don’t need to apologize, Artie. Just sit down right there. Next to Sir Knight.

Owen roughly forced Arthur down next to me. The women and officers I’d been talking with quickly moved out of his way. It was me, Arthur, Owen, plus the women by me and Owen. That was our current lineup.

Woman: Have a glass. One for you, too.

Owen and I were handed glasses while we glared at each other over Arthur’s head. I asked him something, keeping my voice low.

Cain: What are you trying to pull? This is a dirty prank.

Owen: Hmph. The only one playing around here is you. If you’re really so sure of yourself, then surely you can keep doing the same in front of Sir Prince?

Woman: Prince?

Owen’s slip of the tongue stabbed a bit of fear into me, but he simply crossed his legs and smiled at the lady next to him.

Owen: I’m talking about myself. I’m the prince of the Cerberus Kingdom. And I’ll bite your throat out.

Owen had meant it as a threat, but because of the alcohol, the woman took it as a joke. She blushed, and then tilted back her head and presented her neck.

Woman: Ooh, how scary. But I don’t mind if you want to eat me right up.

Owen: Are you stupid? You’d get along great with Sir Knight. I’ve fed him to my dogs before, too.

Cain: Come on…

Right as I was about to argue, Arthur suddenly moved to look at me. He took up my whole field of vision, the only thing I could see.

Arthur: I need to talk to you. Err, rather, I have something I’d like to speak with you about, Sir Cain.

Cain: What’s up, Artie? Is it something so important you had to talk to me here? It’s already late. Kids should be in bed by now.

Arthur: Kids?

Arthur raised one eyebrow. I think…I made him a little mad.

Arthur: It’s an important conversation regarding your honor, Sir Cain. You are a very devoted person, but should you have betrayed yourself to that end…

I saw pale fingers extend past Arthur’s cheek, and then Owen grabbed Arthur’s face and forcibly turned his head. He murmured something into Arthur’s ear. They glanced at me during their quiet conversation, leaving me completely baffled by their newfound…familiarity. This couldn’t be anything good. I suddenly felt restless.

Arthur: …Understood.

While I was being set adrift in a sea of confusion, Arthur simply nodded, and moved away from Owen. This time he got closer to me, putting his arm over the back of the sofa. Arthur’s lips approached my ear. His hair and skin smelled of expensive perfume, the kind that no amount of effort could hide. The idea of having a one on one talk with him was making me just a little bit nervous. Over Arthur’s shoulder, I could see Owen. Arthur whispered into my ear.

Arthur: …Please don’t do anything that would deprive you of your knightly spirit.

I didn’t know how much he’d heard from Owen, but the sincere and earnest tone in his voice made my chest ache. As Arthur pulled away from me, I whispered something back.

Cain: …Don’t misunderstand. I’m trying to win over the Western military to get information on Nicholas. It’s dangerous for you to be here. You should leave immediately. Oz and Riquet should still be…

I glanced up, and my words trailed off on their own. There were heavy footsteps making their way towards us. They were even and composed, like those of higher ranked or commissioned officers. The lively atmosphere around us had become tense. Maybe the general they’d talked about earlier, General Barnett, was here.

Gilles: ……

If it was the Western general, it was entirely probable that he knew what Central Country’s crown prince looked like.

Cain: (I can’t even imagine how things will blow up if the prince of an unfriendly neighboring country is found in a military club.)

I immediately pulled Arthur closer to me, my hand on his back.

Arthur: …Wha–?!

Cain: What’s wrong? Are you not feeling well? You must’ve drank too much. We should get you on your way quick. Owen!

Owen: Excuse me?

Cain: Take care of Artie for me. Or at least take him to the inn.

Owen narrowed his eyes at me.

Owen: And why do I have to do what you tell me to, Sir Knight?

Arthur also looked up at me, frowning a bit.

Arthur: I am still not done talking with you.

I wasn’t listening to either of them. I was busy worrying about if General Barnett was here, and I picked up the book I’d dropped earlier with one hand. This was a popular novel the general liked. I’d been reading it aloud to try and catch his attention. That was the plan, at least.

Cain: Sorry, but please, I need you both to leave. I need to read this book.

Arthur: Right now?

Owen: Why?

Cain: Because the general likes it. He’ll be excited if we like the same things, right?

Arthur: Do you like it, Cain?

Cain: Well, I haven’t read it yet…

Arthur: He won’t be happy if you’re only pretending. When he realizes you’re lying, he’ll only be sad about it.

Arthur’s words reminded me of my mom, and my heart clenched in my chest. I shook my head, a bitter taste at the back of my throat. I glanced around, and then murmured something to him.

Cain: …You and Oz are no good at telling lies. That’s why this is something I have to do. I’m doing what I do best.

Arthur: Trust isn’t something so easily won. Trust balanced on top of lies will come crashing down when it’s most important. If trust is lost on the battlefield, then who can you entrust your life to?

I felt like he’d just punched me in the face. Exactly like Arthur had said, morale dropped under leadership that couldn’t be trusted. Everyone put their life on the line for their pride and sense of justice at some point. And if you weren’t sincere about it, all you’d get is corrupted authority and false justice. That’s why you can’t just start running forward. Arthur’s eyes held the same noble look I’d seen in the portraits of previous kings in Granvelle Castle.

Arthur: Cain, you are my knight. You don’t need to concoct any devious plots.

My heart was wavering in my chest. I wanted to live up to Arthur’s pure, unsullied feelings. But… I think someone who betrays those feelings would serve him better. Nicholas and the white-haired woman. The sunken Adams Island expedition. Should I just give up and try a different method of attack? My honor doesn't matter. What even is true devotion? What would Leno or Shino do if they were in my place?

2 - Touched by the General's Words

I stole a glance at Owen. He was frowning, and then he sighed as if to say “Well, there’s no helping it.” He reached over Arthur and put his hand on the back of my neck, pulling me closer. And then, he whispered something in my ear. Owen’s voice was oddly shrill, as if he was embarrassed about something.

Owen: Hey… If it’s the only way, then. I’ll kill the Western general for you.

My eyes widened. Owen frowned, making a weird face, like he was trying to hide his embarrassment. He was messing with his bangs like he was annoyed, but he was eyeing me with a certain sense of pride.

Owen: But only for tonight, okay?

My blood drained out of my face and I shook my head.

Cain: Don’t even think about doing something like that. It’d become a massive diplomatic issue.

Owen: …Hah?

Pretty sure Owen thought that he was offering to do a good deed, which was why he was so embarrassed about it, but it was still undeniably an offer of assassination. A Northern wizard killing the Western army’s general in front of Central’s prince was just a recipe for disaster.

Cain: You don’t need to come up with any plots, just take Arthur and…

Owen: Plots? I’m saying I’ll help you, and you say I’m plotting?

Cain: I’m grateful for the offer, but right now, your talents aren’t really what I need here.

Owen’s trunk appeared out of nowhere. I looked up at the ceiling, and then tried again.

Cain: I said not right now, right?

Owen: I’m going to turn you to stone. I don’t take orders from anyone.

Woman: D-didn’t he just pull that trunk from nowhere… Was that…magic?

Owen smiled threateningly at the pale woman.

Owen: That’s right. Didn’t I tell you? I’ll bite your throat out.

Arthur: Could you kindly stop, Owen?

Woman: …I–I’m not scared! I’m not scared of wizards. There are so many officers from the Magical Weaponry Division here. Everyone, please…!

Cain: Let’s calm down! Owen, put your trunk away! Absolutely do not open it!

Owen: …Don’t order me around!

Arthur: We’re not giving you orders. Neither Cain nor I are trying to subjugate you, Owen of the North.

Arthur placed his hand on Owen’s arm, and then he looked up at me.

Arthur: This goes for you too, Cain. My desires are not meant to be chains. They shouldn’t keep you from listening to your heart.

Those painful words felt so good. My heart. My thoughts and feelings could change everything. And how easily mine had been changed. What could I do with these feelings?

Gilles: And what is going on here?

Owen and I stood ready at the same time. We didn’t even have to say anything. Both of us were prepared to guard Arthur. I couldn’t see who had spoken. But I could tell enough from the air around them. This was General Barnett. The cheery, drunken sense of relaxation in the club had changed. Not in a bad way. There wasn’t any fear shooting up my spine. But all the soldiers in the room remembered something now that he stood before them. All he had to do was stand in the same room as them, and the Western army’s soldiers remembered their pride. Their spirit. I hadn’t even seen his face, and General Barnett had already overwhelmed us. If he was this charismatic on a normal day, I wondered how far his leadership would take him on the battlefield. Speaking as a soldier from the neighboring country? I wasn’t looking forward to seeing it.

Cain: …My apologies for disturbing you. I am Cain, a former knight of Central Country.

I smiled amiably and held my hand out to him. I could only wonder if he’d accept it. But I only had to worry for a couple seconds. A large hand grasped mine moments later. The same moment, a tall, capable-looking young man appeared in front of me. He had the sociable, reliable air of someone you could call an ideal commanding officer.

Gilles: Gilles Barnett, at your service. Would those be your friends?

Still feeling the strain, I introduced the two of them.

Cain: My subordinates. Artie and Wen.

Owen: You’re a wizard, aren’t you.

Owen announced that right to General Barnett’s face. It caught me off guard for a moment, but I knew why he’d felt that, so I explained it to him.

Cain: Don’t be rude, Wen. Watch your mouth. This is the man who leads the Magical Weaponry Division. Using that many mana stones can make someone have the same presence as a wizard.

Owen: Mana stones…? …Just how many would you have to use to feel like that.

Owen smiled a thin smile at him, the expression dripping with malice and hatred. But General Barnett was unmoved. His eyes moved to Arthur, and he gestured for him to sit down.

Gilles: Please, sit.

Arthur: Thank you, sir.

Although Arthur took a seat, General Barnett did not. Instead, he sat down next to me, taking the place of a woman who had gracefully offered up her seat. His leisurely manner was also a smart one. And it wasn’t like he was trying to intimidate or overpower us. It looked like he was being considerate of us.

Gilles: You said you were a former Central soldier, didn’t you?

Cain: Yes.

The general smiled at me, friendly-like.

Gilles: As the general of Western Country, I could call myself its greatest hero, but surely that means little to a Central knight. From Central’s oldest knight to its youngest trainee, each one is fearlessly brave. Now that’s true glory. They don’t get ahead of themselves when victory’s in sight, and that’s how the names of so many heroes have been engraved in their history. And you are one of them. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Cain: Ah… Thank you very much. I’m undeserving of such praise.

I knew it was nothing more than flattery, but my chest was still full of emotion. Even the general of another country saw the same splendor in the Central knights that I’d admired ever since I was little. Arthur’s eyes also glowed with the praise.

Gilles: And that is?

The general gestured towards the book next to me. Seems like the story about him liking this series was true. Finally, I could work on fulfilling my intended objective here. I picked up the book with vigor.

Cain: A book from a series I like. I’d heard that you enjoyed it as well. I was thinking of reading some aloud, if you’d be fine with that.

The general smiled at me, and I looked over my shoulder towards Owen.

Cain: Wen. Cover Artie’s ears for me, would you?

Owen: What? Why?

Cain: I’ve got a feeling there’s going to be some events that children shouldn’t be listening to.

Arthur: You keep calling me a child, but I am no longer… I am not a child, Sir Cain.

Owen: I’ll let him listen. Give us a tale so terrifying it gives Artie nightmares.

Arthur: No matter how terrifying a story it is, it won’t keep me awake or give me nightmares. Because I am not a child.

Cain: It’s not a scary story. Well, it shouldn’t be…

I remembered the bit I’d read just before as getting a bit…spicy. I glanced over at the general. As if the friendly air he’d had earlier had been nothing but a lie, he was now completely filled with bloodlust.

Cain: Is… Is something wrong, sir…?

His eyes met mine and slowly, slowly his head turned to join them.

Gilles: That book is a stellar adaptation… Don’t speak of it as if it’s some vulgar, tawdry product.

Cain: Ah… Um…

Gilles: The play it is based on is an action/adventure coming-of-age story centered around the friendship of a landed noble caught up in an inheritance dispute and one of her maids. In any case.

Cain: Yes.

Gilles: The two protagonists fall in love with a traveling merchant, and both compete for his affection in further more impossible ways. You said you liked it, didn’t you?

Cain: Uh, yes.

Gilles: To be frank, I am absolutely appalled. No further conversation is required.

Cain: W–wait! My apologies. Let me be honest. I'm…

Gilles: The Sage’s wizard, Cain Knightley. And that would be another Sage’s wizard, the Northern wizard Owen. And this gentleman would be… No, enough with names.

The general had been looking at Arthur when he said that. Arthur, however, took a deep breath and said his next words very pointedly.

Arthur: Please, allow me to introduce myself. I am the prince of Central Country, Arthur Granvelle. My apologies for being misleading with my identity, General Barnett.

The general’s eyes widened at such a forthwith introduction. For the first time in this conversation, he was shocked. After carefully observing his surroundings, he simply shrugged his shoulders.

Gilles: …My sincerest apologies. I had not heard you would be visiting. Had I been aware, I would have knelt before you. To do so now would be, well, conspicuous.

Arthur: Let me apologize as well. I was distracted.

The general smiled at Arthur’s immediate apology. He leaned forward, lowering his voice.

Gilles: …Please listen without showing surprise. Important citizens of my country have of late been collapsing with sudden illness. Their health worsens very quickly, and as it stands, it is doubtful they can even make it through the night. Were it to be known that a foreign dignitary is visiting me during this plague, it would draw suspicion. Please, leave as soon as you are able.

Arthur: Western country’s dignitaries…

Gilles: I cannot speak further than this. You understand, yes?

Arthur: Yes… Thank you. However, may I ask one thing?

Gilles: You may.

Arthur: Why did you warn me?

Gilles: I’d rather not cause problems for myself by complicating things with easily-rectified matters.

The general smiled calmly. His manner was arrogant, but Arthur’s eyes were happy all the same.

Gilles: You are young, and there is still hope in your heart. Though we may live in a broken world, I keep faith that it shall one day be beautifully reborn. I would rather do you a favor of something more valuable than saying your name too loudly and bringing both of our nations trouble.

Arthur: My thanks, General Barnett.

Gilles: Please, just call me Gilles. Now, I would not say this is advice, per se… If you have no urgent plans, I would suggest staying in the City of Fortune for the moment.

Cain: Why?

Gilles: A coronation ceremony shall be held on a day very soon from now. I believe the Sage’s wizards were also given an invitation.

Those words alone told me everything I needed to know about the state of the West’s dignitaries, and which among them had fallen ill. Western Country was a monarchy, after all. It seemed we’d arrived at a very delicate time.

Gilles: Well then, I shall take my leave. May there be good company on your way home.

With a bow, the general began to walk away from us. I was after him in a flash. He was a fair sort of person. I needed to do something to get rid of the guilt of lying to him.

Cain: Hold on.

Gilles: What?

Cain: …Sorry for lying to you. Err, my sincerest apologies, I mean.

His shoulders shook with laughter. At least the look on his face meant I hadn’t insulted him.

Gilles: What a very Central thing of you to say. No, it was quite fine. Why were you trying to gain my favor?

Cain: Huh?

Gilles: You pretended to have read a book you’d never touched for the sake of my favor, to the point of troubling your comrades.

Cain: That’s, well… I really do apologize for that. I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

Gilles: It certainly seems that way. I’ve yet to meet someone from Central who enjoyed deceit. Nicholas was the same way.

My eyes widened the moment I heard Nicholas’s name.

Cain: You remember Nicholas?

Gilles: Of course I do. He was once a hero who stood as Central’s head of knights. It was quite exhausting having such a great man foisted onto me as one of my subordinates.

After that bit of complaint, the general smiled at me.

Gilles: I heard a bit of you from him. He called you the kind of genius that only comes around once every thousand years. Nicholas had been quite proud whenever your name was brought up. It was clear that he loved Central Country and Central’s knights from the bottom of his heart. What happened to him was very unfortunate.

The general put his hand on my shoulder. The sudden rush of emotion in my chest was so strong, I could feel my breathing waver. Even if he had fallen as something evil, Nicholas had once been someone I admired. Hearing words of praise for him made my chest tight. Even though I’d tried to convince myself there was no other choice, I’d always hated how things had turned out. If the reason that the gallant knight I admired had become a villain was because I’d cornered him, then didn’t that make me the evil one? The general shook his head, as if to reject the self-hatred I’d never voiced aloud.

Gilles: My only complaint is that you led the knights after someone like Nicholas had been driven out. You’re not the kind of person who would be here to try and gather information. The right person for the right place, after all. Though it’s true Western Country tends to discriminate towards wizards, we are still generous enough to welcome the philosopher Hart to the royal palace with open arms. Those from Central are less sociable. The generosity seen when the King of Knights Alec established that country alongside wizards is nowhere to be seen. The current system in place only shames that sincere warrior. You don’t need to look at me like that. If you’re going to turn your sword on anything, turn it on the system.

This foreign general’s words were like a guiding light that had saved me. Perhaps they were simply honeyed words to win me over. But I wanted to think they were true.

Cain: Thank you very much, sir.

Gilles: Even wicked customs can be changed that way. Should your revolution fail and you go into exile, I would gladly welcome you to our country.

Cain: I’m not planning on abandoning my country. I am a Central knight.

The general smiled warmly at me.

Gilles: I thought that’s what you’d say.

Cain: General Barnett. Did anything strange happen to Nicholas during his time in this country?

Gilles: Why do you ask?

Cain: I heard that he headed an expedition to the sunken Adams Island. He wasn’t exactly a man who was fond of the sea. But if he left anything behind that might tell me what his goal was, then…

Gilles: I see. A very Central expression of camaraderie. I’m fond of Central’s knights because you’re all like characters in a book. Now then, regarding Nicholas… Although he was one for etiquette, there were times when he crossed the line when it came to me. I imagine he couldn’t forgive himself for it.

Cain: I see…

Gilles: Oh, but there is one thing I recall. He once asked me if I was an avid reader. Specifically, he asked if there were any accounts handed down through Western legend of an account of a "walking Hell".

Cain: A walking Hell…?

Gilles: Yes. I’d never heard of something like it. What about in Central?

Cain: This is the first time I’m hearing of anything like it, too.

Gilles: I see. I apologize, but that’s as much as I can offer.

✦✧☾✧✦

Arthur: A walking Hell… I’ve never heard of it, either. What about you, Owen?

Owen: Who knows.

Arthur: Perhaps you keep it within that trunk of yours?

Owen: Sure. Want to take a peek, Sir Prince?

Cain: Knock it off, Owen.

Owen: Hmph. So you failed to become a villain, Sir Knight. Well, it’s just a matter of time. I’m looking forward to seeing it happen.

Cain: …tsk, he’s gone… God, he’s so…

Arthur: Owen was worried about you, Cain.

Cain: As if.

Arthur: That was why he came to me. …Am I wrong?

Cain: You’re wrong. Maybe he’s not as awful as I thought, but… He’s still awful. Don’t let him fool you.

Arthur: You think so…?

Cain: …A walking Hell… Sigh… All that work, and that’s the only clue we got.

Arthur: We did get to meet with the Western general, thanks to your infiltration. Thank you, Cain.

Cain: Arthur… No, I should be the one thanking you.

3 - The Child Beloved by the Sun and Moon

Liliana: …

Old man: …Please… Please, I beg you… I haven't breathed a word about you to anyone… I promise you…!

Liliana: When has a child of man ever fulfilled their promises?

Old man: Eek…! Someone…! Help me! Please…!

Liliana: Cease this fruitless resistance. Do you really think you can escape me? I gave you happiness, did I not?

Old man: Ahh… My body… I'm wasting away…like I'm dying… …ahh…my arms are turning into branches…

Liliana: You have fulfilled your role. Now, sleep peacefully.

Old man: ……

Liliana: …Haah… That went well. I'm so sorry, Albert. But I'd rather not meet with him while looking like an old man.

✦✧☾✧✦

Chloe: …Zara… She's a witch who was raised in secrecy, like I was…?

Kelvin: …Your family hid you, too?

Chloe: Yeah… Since if they knew I was a wizard, all of our relatives would hate us…

Kelvin: Hmph. Then let them hate you. People who hate things they don't understand are all boring people, anyways. Besides, they don't hate wizards. They just mistrust them.

Chloe: Mistrust…?

Kelvin: That's right. They suspect us when things go missing, or if something breaks. Or when something bad happens to someone who's usually lucky. They think to themselves, "Couldn't this be because of the strange powers those wizards have?" It's hard to trust something they can't see for themselves, after all. Mistrusting things they can't see is pretty easy for them. They do it with kindness and friendship and things done in good will, too.

Chloe: …But… Rustica trusted me. Ages ago while I was still doing sewing for my parents' shop, I came up with this embroidery concept. Like, if I did this and this and put it all together, how'd that look? And just like I thought, it turned out absolutely beautifully.

Kelvin: Amazing! You've got a real knack for that kind of thing, don't you?

Chloe: Ehehe! Thanks… You're a kind person too, Kelvin. …But my sisters thought there was no way I could've come up with it on my own. They thought I'd seen someone else's embroidery work and copied it.

Kelvin: That's horrible. How could they?!

Chloe: Well, I was used to it… But Rustica trusted me. He said, "That's amazing, Chloe." I couldn't prove I came up with it on my own, but he didn't doubt me in the first place. It was the very first time I looked at my own embroidery and thought, "He's right. It is amazing." I was so happy and proud of myself. All because Rustica trusted me…

Kelvin: That's who Lord Rustica is, after all. He doesn't mistrust anything. He thinks this world only consists of love and peace. That's because Lord Rustica has only ever known kind and happy things in his life.

Chloe: …I don't think it's possible to have only known happiness, but… I still think I get what you're saying… Rustica never has a bad thing to say about anything. He's very good at finding a silver lining in everything. Even if people trick him or treat him badly, he never says anything about it. I always thought it was weird, honestly. I wondered how he could be like that. But… Is it really possible to live while only knowing kind and happy things…?

Kelvin: He did it. It was possible for that family back then.

Chloe: That family back then, huh…

Kelvin: For the Ferch family that lived in the City of Fortune's Sapphire Palace. Rustica was born to the Ferch family at the height of their prosperity.

Chloe: The Ferch family?

Kelvin: They were Western Country's most dazzling and prosperous aristocrats. They had even more power, politically speaking, than the Western royal family did, and nobles and merchants from around the entire continent did business with them. They amassed wealth from around the world, built the Sapphire Palace, and hosted dinner parties every night. Western Country's important talks about things like war, taxes, and politics weren't discussed at the royal palace, but at Sapphire Palace.

Chloe: So, like, they were more important than the king?

Kelvin: Their power grew from their successful business ventures. Especially with their investments in transcontinental transport. The ones who originally planned, implemented, and maintained the road that runs from Western Country, through Central, all the way to Eastern Country were the Ferches.

Chloe: That's amazing!

Kelvin: People even whispered that the Ferches' divine protection would keep them safe from anything dangerous that came down from the North. The Ferches were beloved by the royal family, the commoners, the nobility, even scholars and artists alike. And that was why when a wizard was born to them, he received nothing but blessings.

Chloe: And that was Rustica…?

Kelvin: Yes. I still remember what the people in the City of Fortune called the baby born in the Sapphire Palace. The child beloved by the sun and moon.

Chloe: (…Ahh, it's unbelievable…) (Rustica and I are as different as night and day…)

Kelvin: Until I met Lord Rustica in person, this was what I thought about the heir to the Sapphire Palace: What do they mean, beloved by the sun and moon? He's just some spoiled brat who got raised up to be selfish and covetous and never had anyone say no to him. And then I actually met him, and Lord Rustica couldn't have been more different than that. He was kind, sincere, humble… He was so generous I actually got worried for him.

Chloe: …I understand… That's the same Rustica that I know…

Kelvin: Haha… It's been so long since I saw him, and he hasn't changed a bit. …His eyes are still so clear… I can't even count how many times I felt ashamed of myself in front of those eyes. I was irritable, skeptical, stingy, pessimistic…

Chloe: Kelvin…

Kelvin: …I wanted to become a musician. But I was scared of putting on a poor performance and getting laughed at… Every time I found a musician to try to apprentice with, they'd cruelly mock me. They really were the worst. Even though I really just wanted to listen to music up close and touch an instrument for myself. I encountered Lord Rustica for the first time while I was traveling, as he was playing a flute, and I laughed at him. What's up with this?! What a weird-sounding song! What a bizarre melody! But he just smiled at me and said, "That's not true. It's a lovely song. Why don't you try to play this flute, too?" And for some reason, when he said that to me… For the first time in my life, I said that I did, I did want to try playing the flute. And I meant it completely. I have loved Lord Rustica ever since.

Chloe: …

Kelvin: And Lord Rustica loved me, too. It was as natural as the fact that candy made from sugar is sweet that people loved him, but he loved them in return so easily. He had an unshakeable faith in himself, but he never strayed from his kind, considerate nature. He freely gave his possessions, his time, and his love to anyone who wanted them.

Chloe: (…That's true for me, too… I'm just one of the people he gave those things to…) (Rustica is a very, very special person to me, but…) (To Rustica, am I…?)

Kelvin: Hey, are you okay?

Chloe: Ah…

Kelvin: You're looking kind of pale. Maybe it's just because of the moonlight, but…

Chloe: I'm fine… Ah… Wait, I need to go find Rustica! He was with me until just a little bit ago.

Kelvin: I know. I could feel his presence… Where is he now?

Chloe: W-well… A wizard I've never seen before suddenly showed up and then vanished with him.

Kelvin: Huh?! Did Zara take him?! Even though she hasn't so much as laid a hand on him before now…

Chloe: Why did Zara turn Rustica's bride into a songbird? If Rustica went through something terrible because of that witch, then… If I were to defeat her, the witch controlling Western Country, would that make Rustica happy…?

Kelvin: Lord Rustica would… I don't think he would be happy with that, no matter who it was.

Chloe: …

Kelvin: You'd just make him sad. So he has no choice but to forget things like that.

✦✧☾✧✦

Rustica: …

I was in a room that smelled absolutely lovely. It was a fine perfume, the sweet, refreshing scent of flowers blended with burnt sugar. I felt oddly nostalgic being wrapped up in that aroma. It was a sweet and gentle atmosphere, one of sadness tinged with joy. The windows of this room were also lovely. Through them I saw a magnificently built palace, backed by the pre-dawn sky. I felt a bit sleepy, so I thought I'd lie down for a bit. I undressed, leaving my clothes scattered untidily over the floor, and suppressed a yawn. And then I thought to myself, something seems off. If someone saw my clothes on the floor like this, I knew what they'd say.

???: You can't do that, Rustica. They'll get all wrinkled like that.

Rustica: Oh, my apologies.

I apologized to that someone and folded my clothes. I couldn't quite place what that someone's name was. I found a brush, and brushed out my hair. I heard the voice of someone who had talked to me while brushing my hair, from sometime before now. It smelled the same now as it did then. Sweet, refreshing flowers and candy. Flowers dancing gently in the breeze. Small, purple flowers. Gemstones glittering brightly. A delicate porcelain cup…

???: Rustica. My angel. Everyone fortunate enough to meet you is blessed. Your eyes are pure and innocent. Your heart is serene and unselfish. You understand the underpinnings of this world. It is possible that in the future, you may hear thoughtlessly said words, words not worth hearing. But please, you mustn't criticize the people who say them. There is no reason for you to take offense to them. Those who are so poor of heart are those pitiful, those not blessed with good fortune. Those who are well-loved, however, are earnest and virtuous. You must extend your hand to them without hate, without hostility. Kindness and compassion are paramount. As those of high status, we have a responsibility to learn proper ethics. My sweet Rustica. Please extend your love to everyone you can. This way, everyone will be happy.

The sky began to brighten. A veil of navy and violet fluttered at the hem of the night sky's dark dress. Birds began to sing their lovely morning songs. My eyes were on the verge of falling shut. I laid down on the bed. I laid down on the bed, and I was happy. Being able to sleep for as long as I like made me feel free and peaceful. Liberated. I began to hum a song, and fell asleep to that same song of my own making.

✦✧☾✧✦

Aria Mastandrea was the princess of Western Country as well as my fiancee. I have loved her since the day we first met. She was like a little sister. We were often told we suited one another. We were very happy together. Aria loved the sound of my harpsichord, and I loved the stories Aria would tell. Aria spoke to me often about the things that she loved. Brightly colored pastries, wax seals, bluebirds that pecked at flower petals, buttons with gold around the edges, the royal palace's gardens. His Majesty the King, her Majesty the Queen, me. Her favorite chamberlain, Francesca. The lizards that would appear by her window on rainy days. However, she was lying to me. I knew Aria loved more things than that. I saw her once, as I was walking through the palace garden, contemplating something very deeply. I saw tears in the corners of her eyes as she stared at the garden around her, her gaze very earnest. As if she were committing a sin.

Rustica: Why are you crying?

And Aria replied, She was afraid. She had never disobeyed her parents before. But she was disobeying them for the very first time, right now. Please, she pleaded, take the secret I'm about to tell you seriously. Being told something like that made me quite nervous. For I had never had a "secret" before. Under the boughs of a tree, with no one else around, Aria told me something in little more than a whisper. She had an elder twin sister. Her name was Zara. But twins in the royal family were considered unlucky. And because of that, the twin who was born a witch was forced to live in secrecy. She lived in a tower on the palace grounds. Once, she had asked to look out from the top of that same tower.

Rustica: I remember that. You said you wanted to look at the birds perched by its window. But there were no birds to be seen.

Please forgive me, she said. I lied to you. I wanted to show my beloved elder sister the man who would become my husband.

Rustica: I see, so that's what it was. Your sister lives in that tower…

I have a request, Lord Rustica, she said. I'll never ask you for anything more in my life, so please. Please take a walk through the gardens with Zara, dressed in my clothes, as though she were me. If you can, please take her outside the palace walls. Zara has never been past them before.

Rustica: In other words… I should take your elder sister on an outing somewhere? I would be happy to.

✦✧☾✧✦

Liliana: …

Rustica: …

Liliana: …He's asleep…

Rustica: …mm…

Liliana: …

Rustica: …I don't want to get up yet… Chloe…

Liliana: …

✦✧☾✧✦

Chloe: …So Rustica's just going to keep forgetting things forever? One day he'll forget me, and the Sage, and everyone else…

Kelvin: That's right. Like how he's forgotten who I am.

Chloe: Isn't… Isn't there anything I can do?

Kelvin: Can you really say something about it? To Lord Rustica? Can you tell him that the bride he's looking for is already dead? That he's the one who killed her?

Chloe: …uu… I don't want to…

Kelvin: Exactly. Because if you tell him that, the current Lord Rustica will disappear. The happy nobleman, the child beloved by the sun and moon, will vanish. I never want to see Lord Rustica suffering like that again, wailing like he was no more than an animal…

Chloe: …

Kelvin: …I need to go. You never know when or where the witch is listening. I'll be avoiding this place for the time being. You should do the same.

Chloe: Wait, Kelvin…!

Kelvin: Take care of Lord Rustica.

Chloe: Ah… …He disappeared… …If I tell him the truth, the current Rustica will disappear… …Then… Who is the real Rustica…? Will he really be happy continuing to search for a bride that no longer exists…? But…I don't want Rustica to remember…something so horrible… … I need to find Rustica… …This isn't the time to be moping. First off, I need to find Rustica… …I need to help Rustica. I at least owe him that much! …Oh, I should tell Master Sage! They said they were going to Cortes Palace, and then heading to the royal palace… If the witch is at the Western royal palace, then that's the first place I should look for Rustica. I need to hurry…!

4 - Dawn is Coming

Shino: This is…

Bradley: …

The spirits definitely felt like Western ones. I didn't feel any hostile intentions from the bone monsters surrounding us. Figaro was still actively wary of the guy with Murr's face. Mithra seemed unhappy with traveling through a door in space that someone else had made. Nero was out like a light again. I didn't know if his condition was stable or not. I wanted to get him properly treated as soon as I possibly could. And Shino was on edge, supporting Heathcliff on his shoulder and fidgeting like he couldn't decide if he wanted to stick close to Nero or to the curseworker. He had the most repressed bloodlust out of all of us right now, even counting the bone freaks.

Bradley: Stand down, Eastern tiny, Mithra.

Mithra glanced over to me, moving only his eyes.

Bradley: Don't make 'em underestimate us.

That was all I needed to say. Mithra focused his attention on what was in front of him, which was impressive, given his short attention span. The guy with Murr's face smiled.

Murr: Welcome. Please, use this manor as you will. I'll arrange for medical supplies to be brought to you shortly. You have many injured, after all.

Shino: You think you get to say that…?! All of their injuries are because of those damn things standing next to you!

Heathcliff: Shino…!

Shino's eyes were blazing with fury for the things that had put his comrades into this state. I could still feel traces of the curseworker's protection magic on him, and he had the guts to try and fight his way out of this. His courage was downright admirable.

Figaro: Get them to me immediately. As well as several people familiar with medical training.

Figaro's voice was calm, but it was steeped in a very obvious, very deadly anger.

Murr: But of course. I'd love to help you myself, but tragically, there is somewhere else I need to be.

Figaro: And where would that be?

Murr: I need to greet the Master Sage.

Figaro frowned, and I wasn't feeling any more happy about that than he was. I didn't want this Murr getting anywhere close to the Sage.

Bradley: (Should I get Mithra to go with him? But if I do that, then we won't have enough people here.) Bradley: (I'm pretty sure this is one of those actualized shards of Murr's soul I've heard about. And the shard was probably attached to that cat of his somewhere.) (Should I shoot it? If I do, how would the bone freaks react?)

While thoughts like that were chasing themselves in a circle in my head, Figaro handed the unconscious Faust off to Lennox.

Figaro: Sorry. I know you're hurt, too.

Lennox: No, it's fine…

But in the next moment, Figaro's magic focus, his orb, appeared at his hand.

Bradley: (This guy's got a short fuse too, huh.)

I was sick of him doing things that reminded me of how the twins wanted to run things. Even if they act like they're sensible, they jump the gun way too damn fast. I held Nero tighter in my arms, and my next words were very pointed.

Bradley: Yo, Southern doctor. You've got wounded to be lookin' after. If anyone's gonna be doin' anything right now, it's gonna be me.

Mithra: I'm going to be the one to take them down. All of them.

But Murr wasn't intimidated.

Murr: Did you enjoy it that much?

Figaro: Then hurry it up. I want to get to treating my patients. I'd rather not get attacked while I'm busy tending to them, so finish things up before that happens.

Murr: If we were planning on attacking you, we wouldn't have brought you here.

Bradley: What do you want with the Sage?

Murr: I intend on collecting all of the Sage's wizards here. Ah, of course. Perhaps I shouldn't have gone about this in the middle of the night. Is that why you're suspicious of me? Things that could happen innocently during the daytime can become perilous in the dead of night. This, too, is a captivating aspect of…

Mithra: <Arthim>

Blue flames raged out of Mithra's crystal skull alongside a furious blizzard, and the shape of Murr in front of us was annihilated. Me and Figaro were both left completely speechless. The cat that had been at Murr's feet leapt away, escaping as far from us as it could. And then, above the now distant cat, Murr once again flickered into view.

Murr: Goodness. Northern wizards have such short tempers. Hey, hey. Can you get close to those people over there again for me? Don't be scared. Please, I'm begging you…

Mithra ignored Murr distantly grumbling to himself and turned to face me.

Mithra: I'm going to go get the Sage.

Bradley: Sure, good plan. You know where they are?

Mithra: If I feel for their presence, yes. Well, I'll be going now. I have a feeling they're here in Western Country.

Having said that, Mithra glanced down at Nero, who was still securely in my arms. I was instantly wary of him. It was more instinct than anything.

Mithra: Is that person dead?

I didn't know what exactly he meant by that, but it still put me on edge. He better not tell me to give him Nero's stone.

Bradley: He ain't dead. He's too stubborn for that.

Mithra: Is that right? Thank goodness. Shino asked me to save him.

There was no possible way I really just heard him say something so…human. The concept alone was completely alien to Mithra of the North--he wouldn't even consider it. Mithra was still staring at Nero, and there was even a smile on his face.

Mithra: Anyway, I'm leaving now.

Bradley: Yeah, thanks.

Mithra: <Arthim>

Mithra was gone, leaving behind only the night breeze. I raised my head, and my eyes met Figaro's. He was as shocked as I was by how Mithra was acting. We both looked away without saying anything.

Figaro: Let's hurry. This way, Leno. Heathcliff, can you walk?

Heathcliff: …ah, I'll be fine.

Shino: You can lean on me. How's Faust?

Lennox: His breathing is shallow. We need to get him laying down as soon as we can.

Shino: Bradley!

Bradley: I'm coming! Nero's still doin' fine.

The jet-black night sky was starting to turn blue around the edges. Dawn was coming. The time Oz's magic would return. Even if the bone freaks attacked us after the Sage and the lil' ones joined us here, everything would be fine. I noticed myself feelin' relieved about that and felt a sudden sense of dread. There's no goddamn way I was feelin' relieved about Oz's continued existence. Maybe I was dreamin' or something. I needed to walk around or somethin' to make sure I was actually awake. The amount of people that could actually be saved was limited. I needed to prioritize and cut the rest off. I glared at the air in front of me, and started walking.

✦✧☾✧✦

Rutile: It's almost dawn…

Oz: So it is…

Rutile: Mitile and Riquet are both asleep. I'm sure they must've worn themselves out.

Oz: … Why…

Rutile: Hm?

Oz: Why would one give birth?

Rutile: … I…haven't given birth…

Oz: Yes… Of course not.

Rutile: Ahaha… Are you talking about my mother?

Oz: Correct.

Rutile: Do I really resemble her that much? Although I've been hearing that ever since I was Mitile's age.

Oz: You do not. However, there are traces of her in your countenance. The two of you can be…difficult to distinguish.

Rutile: That's an interesting way of putting it. …Were you close with her? My mother?

Oz: No… I had no particular interest in her.

Rutile: …

Oz: Given we have the opportunity, there is something I'd like to discuss with you.

Rutile: What is it?

Oz: … Is there anything… You would not want children to know of…

Rutile: Is there perhaps something you don't want to tell Lord Arthur about, Lord Oz?

Oz: …

Rutile: Ah… Sorry. That was just what came to mind.

Oz: … We should have talked more.

Rutile: You mean with my mother?

Oz: Yes. She talked often.

Rutile: Ahaha. I know all about that.

Oz: …Every time someone used their words with me, part of their heart entered mine. I disliked that.

Rutile: …

Oz: And yet, as I think of her now, I believe that perhaps I should have listened to what she said more attentively.

Rutile: …Why did you dislike it?

Oz: …Yes, why did I… Because I could not understand them. Even if I attempted to, I could not. Consequently, I did not wish to hear the words of others. I do not understand myself, either. And so… I have no words with which to describe myself. Putting myself into words would be inherently inaccurate. That things would always be conveyed inaccurately…left me weary.

Rutile: …

Oz: …Why are you crying?

Rutile: …I'm sorry… It's just, I think that…I must be the same way…

Oz: You talk frequently, however.

Rutile: Ahaha… But…I really do think I'm the same as you. I want to properly listen to people, I want to properly speak to them… But I can't understand what they're trying to say, and so I can't properly convey what I want to, either… …And so I hurt them and get hurt in return…even though I want to be kind to them…

Oz: I see… If it is difficult for someone as kindhearted as you, then I am sure it must be a trial all must face. Though she had a wild temperament, you are kind.

Rutile: You're a kind person too, Lord Oz…

Oz: …That is incorrect.

Rutile: You did great at talking with me, too. I understood what you wanted to tell me. I want to think that I understand…

Oz: …This is something Riquet has said to me. "I feel the same way."

Rutile: Huh…?

Oz: …The sky grows bright.

Rutile: Does this count as dawn?

Oz: Not just yet.

Rutile: Maybe you'll be able to do it if you try. Could I ask you to do that?

Oz: I shall.

Rutile: Then please sit down right here. That way if you fall asleep and fall over, you won't hit your head.

Oz: Here?

Rutile: Yes! Well then, take it away!

Oz: … <Vox…> Snz…

Rutile: Ah!! It really was a bit too early…!

5 - I Don't Want to Lose Anyone

I was flying through the night sky with Shylock, Murr, Gregory, and a piece of Murr's soul. Although we did return to Cortes Palace, none of us could relax, so we departed again after leaving a message for Chloe and Rustica. I was traveling with Western wizards, but no one said a thing. Having been overtaken by my exhaustion from everything that had happened that day, I was nodding off on the back of Shylock's broom.

Murr: You're falling, dear Sage.

Akira: ……ah!

I startled Shylock, and he turned to face me. He narrowed his eyes a bit and smiled.

Shylock: My apologies for not realizing. I suppose a trip like this is a bit taxing for a regular person such as yourself, Master Sage. I can use my magic to ensure you don't fall, but if you'd prefer, shall we find somewhere to rest?

Akira: I'm fine. But, um, just in case, if you could make sure I don't fall…

Mithra: <Arthim>

Just then, I heard a familiar voice. A door suddenly opened in the night sky, and then, there was Mithra.

Akira: Mithra.

Mithra was as relaxed as always, but when he saw Saku-chan, his face twisted into one of blatant distaste.

Mithra: That thing's still clinging onto you.

Saku-chan didn't mind, though. It was just nudging my shoulder with its nose. Mithra came closer to me and shook his hand a little, like he was trying to get something off of it. Gregory took to the air.

Mithra: There's more of you than I was expecting.

Gregory: Wah, watch out--!

Mithra: And I believe this is the one I missed my chance to kill earlier.

Murr: By any chance, are you referring to me?

Shylock: Murr was almost killed?

Murr: Ooh, by who? By Mithra? By Oz? Or by you, Shylock?

Akira: H-hold on, Mithra. Don't throw them off.

I held Gregory and the shard of Murr protectively in my arms, and then asked Mithra a question.

Akira: Do you mean that you tried to kill a shard of Murr's soul? Where did you meet him?

Mithra: A shard of his soul? Oh, now that you mention it, I do think I heard something about that before. No wonder something seemed off. He was on top of a cat.

Akira: A cat?

Murr: Sounds fuuuun! I want to ride on a cat, too!

Murr: I'm glad to hear that shards other than myself are enjoying their lives as well.

Shylock: You killed a shard of Murr? Did the Murr you killed return to the shard? Or did it destroy it permanently?

Murr: Ooh, what an eager student you are, Shylock!

Murr: Are you planning on composing a thesis on the subject?

Shylock: Be quiet, Murr. Mithra, what happened to that Murr?

Mithra: He was riding on top of a cat. He said he was going to go greet the Sage, so I came here to get you instead.

Mithra was frowning. It seemed like something unpleasant had happened to him.

Akira: Why were you and a shard of Murr fighting?

Mithra: He set bone doll monsters on us. Faust and Nero almost died, and Heathcliff and Lennox got done in, too.

Akira: Huh…?!

My mind went completely blank. My heart started pounding in my chest, and my vision started fading around the edges.

Akira: Wh…why…

Mithra: Like I said, we were attacked by doll-like, bone monster-like things. I won, of course.

And now Faust and Nero were almost dead, and Heath and Leno were badly hurt… Their smiles popped into my head. The idea of losing those smiles scared me so bad I wanted to scream. We'd encountered all sorts of dangerous situations before. I always knew that them losing their lives was a real possibility, and yet I just sent them out with little more than a "Take care." Not a single time had I ever been prepared to face the prospect of them actually dying.

Akira: (What do I do, what do I do, what do I do…)

I was so scared and confused I could hardly breathe. Without even thinking about it, I grabbed onto Mithra's arm.

Akira: Did…did you save them?

Mithra: Probably. Figaro is with them.

Akira: …Haahh…

My sigh of relief came from the very bottom of my heart. And yet at the same time as that relief, I felt my stomach twist itself into a knot and my fingers start to tremble. I was told they were almost dead, and then only seconds later, I was told they were going to be okay. But it had felt like an eternity. There were tears in my eyes, ready to fall.

Akira: …sniff, thank goodness… Can I see them? Can you take me to them?

Mithra: Of course I can.

Mithra was looking straight at me.

Shylock: Master Sage…

Shylock tugged me closer to him. The moment I relaxed, I'd started to slip. From within my arms, the shard of Murr started to speak.

Murr: The probability that these "bone doll monsters" are artificial wizards is very high.

Shylock: Artificial wizards? Are you saying you made a wizard? How could you create something like that all over again…

Murr: I didn't make them. But the plans for them were in my laboratory. It seems someone found them and perfected the concept.

Mithra: <Arthim>

Mithra opened another door in the sky. Gregory whispered to me, worried about how pale and shaken I must've looked.

Gregory: Are you okay?

Akira: Yes…

Though he was in the shape of a bird and all he had for a face were his beak and his round eyes, I still felt like he'd smiled gently at me.

Gregory: You're a very kind person. The Sage's wizards must be happy to know how much you care about them.

But of course I did. If even a single one of them were missing, I wouldn't be here right now. I was able to live in this world only because each and every one of them had helped me. I didn't want to lose any of them.

✦✧☾✧✦

Mithra: <Arthim>

Mithra took us to a room I'd never seen before.

Figaro: Master Sage.

Akira: Figaro…

I wanted to say something to him, but the sight of his fingertips stopped me. They were stained crimson. I looked down and saw Faust laying on a bed, covered in wounds.

Akira: …!

I had to put a hand over my mouth to keep myself from screaming, and that startled Gregory, who took to the air. Seeing what looked like a bird, Figaro drew the bedsheets over Faust's body.

Figaro: What a pretty bird. Or, a person? Sorry, but I'm in the middle of treating patients right now, so you'll need to wait outside.

Akira: S-sorry. Figaro, Faust is going to be okay, isn't he?

Figaro's eyes met mine and he nodded, his smile a reliable one.

Figaro: Of course he is. He's got Dr. Figaro by his side, after all.

Akira: Thank goodness… Thank you so much!

There was a gentle kindness in Figaro's hazel eyes. And maybe it was just my imagination, but he seemed happy, too.

Figaro: Yep. Just leave everything to me.

Akira: What about Nero? Is Nero okay, too?

Figaro: As long as he rests. If he strains himself, he'll lose his life. He's through the room on the other side of the hall.

Akira: Thank you! I'm going to go check on him.

Figaro: Ah, don't walk around on your own. Shylock, could you go with the Sage?

Shylock: Of course. Does that mean this place isn't safe? Or, unsafe enough that we can't let the Sage be on their own.

Figaro: That's right. I'll explain what's up later. Mithra, I need you to fetch Rutile next.

Mithra: Excuse me?

Figaro: We don't have enough hands here, and I want to check up on Nero and Heath, too. He should be somewhere here in Western Country.

Mithra: I refuse.

Figaro: Why?

Mithra didn't respond. I looked up at him, and he was almost pouting.

Akira: …Did you two have a fight?

Mithra: He's a pigheaded jerk.

Figaro: Come on, Mithra. I need you to hurry. And while you're at it, can you track down Oz, too?

Mithra: Absolutely not.

A voice called out from my breast pocket.

Murr: I shall assist you.

I blinked, and my pocket Murr was full size again. When Mithra and Figaro saw him, their faces turned grim. Murr's bright eyes narrowed to slits as he smiled at them.

Murr: I am still a doctor of medicine, you know.

The shard of Murr reached his fingers towards Shylock's hair and stole Shylock's hair tie, just like that. Shylock frowned at him, looking annoyed. As Murr tied his hair back with his purloined hair tie, he addressed me.

Murr: Shall we go, Master Sage?

I pressed my hand against the shard of purple sapphire in my pocket and nodded. Just before we stepped out, I looked up at Mithra.

Akira: Are you sure you won't help us with Rutile? Mithra…

Mithra: …

Mithra was still pouting, his lips curved down in dissatisfaction. He sighed, but he was being reluctant about it.

Mithra: Just this once.

Akira: I'm sorry for the trouble. But thank you.

Mithra: <Arthim>

Mithra disappeared into a door through space. Shylock stepped toward me and put a hand on my back. The nimble, catlike Murr was about to follow us so he didn't get left behind, but Figaro called out to him.

Figaro: Murr, hold on.

Murr: What, what?

Murr: What is it?

Figaro: Err… That's rather troublesome, isn't it. Could the one that's Shylock's dear pet stay and help me? You are a doctor, aren't you?

Murr: I mighta forgotten how to be?

Figaro: I'll tell you what you need to do. Ahh, just when I was getting a feeling of deja vu, instead it turned into Dr. Figaro's Classroom…

Figaro grumbled to himself, looking bitter. It seemed like it had been a long time since he'd taught healing magic, down in the South.

Lennox: Excuse me. --Master Sage.

Just before we could step out the door, Lennox stepped in before us. His clothes, too, were stained with blood. He noticed me before I could figure out what to say and smiled at me.

Lennox: Don't worry, they're just scratches. Please look in on Nero and Heathcliff. What kind of bird is this…? I don't think you should bring the bird with you.

Gregory: Yes, that's true. Master Sage, I shall leave your side for the time being.

Lennox's eyes widened when he heard Gregory speak. Figaro smiled bitterly, even as his hands moved swifly and skillfully.

Figaro: You should at least be able to identify the presence of a person turned into a bird. Faust is going to scold you.

Lennox: That's true.

Their quiet words sounded like prayers. Both of them were waiting for the moment when those prayers would be answered and Faust opened his eyes again. They had faith that moment would come.

✦✧☾✧✦

I went to the room Nero was supposed to be in with Shylock. Shino was already there. The moment he saw the shard of Murr, his expression changed. His scythe appeared in his hand and flashed across the narrow room. Murr only got a second to dodge. If he'd been even a moment too slow, his head would've separated from his body.

Murr: It seems I've earned quite a bit of resentment.

Shylock: As you always do. Shino, this shard of Murr is one we found in the Royal Botanical Gardens. This shard is different from the one that attacked you Eastern wizards.

Shino: …

Shino eyed us warily, trying to confirm what Shylock had said. It was very easy to tell from the sharpness of his gaze and his lack of composure that something terrible had happened. Shino was a proud wizard and a stranger to cowardice. Any other time, I would've seen a grin on his lips as he boasted about what he'd done. Instead, his whole body was tense. Something had happened that needed him to be that on edge, ready for anything. He let out the breath he'd been holding, and his scythe disappeared.

Shino: Sorry. Sage, come sit with Nero.

Nero was tucked into a bed, his eyes closed. I watched Nero's face quietly, but Shino muttered something.

Shino: Figaro said Nero's wounds were the worst out of everyone's. We were only saved because he took the first hit and told us what to watch out for.

Shino was staring straight into my eyes.

Shino: Be sure you praise him a lot when he wakes up.

Akira: I will… Shino, did you not get hurt at all? Even though I sent you somewhere so dangerous…

I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry. Right as I was about to say that, I remembered what Bradley said to me. I couldn't look apologetic if I was going to give them orders. I needed to be proud of them for what they've done. Be proud of him… What should I say to tell him I'm proud of him? As I thought that, I looked at Shino, at his expression that he was trying so, so hard to keep even. And then I realized something. Faust and Nero had both been badly wounded, and Heathcliff had gotten hurt, too. Right now, Shino was struggling helplessly with something worse than I could ever imagine. When he'd swung his scythe at us just moments ago, he'd been trying to protect his comrades, all on his lonesome.

Akira: Shino… Thank you. Because of you, Faust, Nero, and Heath all came home in one piece. The fact that I can come see them all is all because you were willing to put your life on the line for them. I'm glad you were there for them, Shino. …I'm so, so glad…

Shino's red eyes looked up at me, startled. His gaze trembled, the rippling of the ocean at sunset captured in his eyes. It was the expression of someone very close to tears, even as he smiled at me. But he was so proud and fearless, he wouldn't admit that.

Shino: Yeah, well.

My eyes started getting hot, so I averted my gaze. Instead, I looked down at Nero, still sleeping. I couldn't say I liked seeing his sleeping face like this, though. His skin was so pale it was hard to believe he still had blood pumping through his veins. It hurt to look at him.

Akira: You, too… Thank you, Nero.

My voice was trembling. Shylock gently put a hand on my shoulder. His eyes were closed, and he murmured into my ear.

Shylock: Are you alright, Master Sage?

Akira: Yes… Shylock, Murr. Can I can leave Nero to the two of you? I want to see Heathcliff. Shino, is it okay if I do that right now?

Shino: I'll take you there. Shylock, take care of Nero.

Shylock: Of course. Shino, please stay at the Sage's side. If anything should happen…

Shino: I know. Don't worry. Bradley's here, too.

Akira: He is?

Shino: He was here until just a second ago. After we swapped off, he vanished. So he could keep watch from far away, he said.

Akira: From far away…

Shino: He'll be acting as sniper if anything happens. You should be glad a bullet didn't pass through your skull.

The shard of Murr simply shrugged his shoulders. I looked outside through the room's window. I could feel someone out there, watching over us, protecting us. Even if we were far apart, he would protect me. And he was still much closer than any god was.

Next Chapter

[misscammiedawn]

do you think Shadow the Hedgehog might have DID?

Interesting question.

We didn't read the Archie or IDW books except when a friend was a credited artist/writer because you have to support friends. I do not know how he was handled in those canons so shall focus on the games.

He's a hard character to pin down in general, aided greatly by the fact his writing has been inconsistent in every game.

I think it's undeniable that he has issues rooted in complex trauma. Even in his first appearance he had memory issues given his entire character arc revolves around his interpretation of Maria's final words to him.

I'd argue that he has identity disturbance rather than dissociated identity. The difference (when talking about non-ultimate lifeforms) is held mostly in how a person who failed to integrate a sense of self in their developmental years handles their environment. In the case of persistent abuse a child will establish barriers between self-states so that they can compartmentalize their circumstances to shield parts of themselves from psychological harm.

With identity disturbance the child, failing to develop a stable sense of self, will become emotionally reactive and malleable, allowing the child to develop into an adult who emotionally attaches to individuals and adopts elements of their personality and traits as they find comfort in an external source of comfort. For Shadow this is the Robotnik family. Maria mostly but he tends to be respectful to both Professor Gerald and Doctor Robotnik.

Regardless of the severity of his identity issues, his emotional instability and memory issues make it clear he has a complex dissociative disorder. At the very least CPTSD but I'd rank him on the dissociative scales spectrum between BPD and OSDD.

But that's my opinion and is heavily based on the theory of structural dissociation which I acknowledge is flawed and does not match lived experience 1-to-1 but the mind is a tricky thing and displays of trauma disorders are varied and unique.

Shadow's a fascinating little character. I'm eager to see him suffer fleshed out a bit more in GenerationsXShadow next month.

[mythologicalbiologist]

Magic in The World Around Chrysanthemum

Lets start off close to the beginning, shall we? Lay some groundwork for the world.

Magic in The World Around chrysanthemum is a highly variable thing. A thing that touches nearly every aspect of every life worldwide in one way or another. It is a suprisingly easy to access thing, as well!

As of the point in time of this particular tabletop, there currently persist 12 "elements", so to speak, all lingering alongside one another.

The Twelve Persisting Elements

Fire

Water

Earth

Air

Electricity

Metal

Dark

Life

Death

Space

Time

All creatures of the world are capable of wielding up to two total elements of any combination of these 12, many integrating it into their bodies over time.

These elements are those that have persisted over many, many years. The elements surrounding this world are NOT those of a core nature to the universe, qnd are not, by any means, beholden to its core values.

Those around it are representative of the elements, whether they rise and whether they fall. Humanoids, in particular, and others of those of humanoid intelligence are those that shape the elements through their belief, their words, and their actions, when many come to believe, truly, that something around them is necessary to their existence, the fact that they are alive, it is very likely to become an element. An element requires a large portion of these people to form, and as belief that this element is essential grows, as does the element in nature, and as the belief wanes, so to does the element in kind.

These elements are beholden to their respective planets, those outside of each individual rock in space having no berring on eachother regardless of strength, distance, or ideal.

With the gradual aging of the world around chrysanthemum and its populace, many elements have both risen and fallen, some staying around for many, many years, while others can last for a mere few decades, if even that.

At the center of this vast branch of magic, was the magic of neutrality. Virtually unlimited potential in such an overwhelming magic! One that could drastically shape and change realities, yet so overwhelmingly unpredictable and unknowable. A magic that could, and WOULD do ANYTHING, as it pleased. So extreme was this, that it is commonly believed to be the source of the first signs of life that had ever persisted, and perhaps even manipulated much of life to be as it was in the modern day. It is theorized that should someone of humanoid sentience be able to wield this magic, untold chaos could ensue on a vast scale, creating events that would be difficult to even manage.

[albertfinch]

BEHOLDING THE GLORY OF GOD

Revelation 4:1 -- "After this I looked, and, behold, a door was opened in heaven..."

If we will live in the awareness of the heavenly, we must be freed from the boundaries of the earthly.  To awaken faith, the Holy Spirit will take us through times when the presence of God cannot be clearly discerned.

Psalm 13:1 -- "How long wilt thou forget me, O Lord?  forever?  how long with thou hide thy face from me?"

We should not accept that God has permanently hidden Himself from us, though during trials it may seem so.  He is teaching us to SEE IN THE DARK and to hear in the silence. He is making Himself known to our inner man so that, regardless of outer circumstances, we can CONTINUALLY be led by led by His Spirit.

2 Corinthians 3:18 -- "But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit"

OUR VISION MUST BECOME SPIRITUAL

To see God, it is imperative that our vision becomes spiritual and not just sensory.  To hear God, we must learn to tune out the clamor of our fears and earthly desires. 

The time of darkness, though it comes as an enemy, actually compels us to seek God more earnestly; we learn to even more revere God's light. Ultimately, we will discover the truth of what Isaiah wrote, that "the whole earth is full of God's glory" (Isaiah 6:3).

The Bible was written by individuals who actually beheld the glory of God.  To see the glory of God in our Christ calling takes place as we bear fruit that remains for His Kingdom in our Christ calling. We move from glory to glory.

Matthew 5:8 -- "Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God."

PERSISTENCE IS THE ANSWER

It is reasonable to expect that, if Christ truly dwells within us, we ought to perceive life with unveiled minds?

We remove the veils of sin, shame and self-absorption, by coming to understand and walk in our Christ identity.  If we stay focused upon His Word and walking in the Spirit, we should expect to see the glory of the Lord.

        AFFIRMATIONS:

I ask, seek, and knock until I come to understand and implement God’s purpose for my life (my Christ calling).

Only then am I able to develop Kingdom vision that will bear fruit that will glorify Jesus.

ALBERT FINCH MINISTRY

[haggishlyhagging]

I am advocating the premise that knowledge is political. I am asserting that in a male-dominated society women do not control the uses that are made of knowledge. I am asserting that a fundamental use of knowledge in a patriarchal society is to enhance the image of men and to negate the image of women. I am asserting what women's resources are appropriated and used to find in favour of men and against women, and that much ‘valuable’ use is made of any negative evidence we may construct about other women. While it is not in our power (at present) to influence the uses made of negative knowledge about women, it is well within our power to refuse to make it available.

I am withdrawing my labour: a knowledge strike. As a political act (and with a considerable amount of pure, positive enjoyment which I can highly recommend) I will persist with the subversive practice of finding in favour of women - of constructing an image of women's force, as [Mary Ritter] Beard suggested - to counteract the patriarchal principle of finding, exclusively, in favour of men, and I will continue to do so (and to face the wrath of patriarchal gods of ‘objectivity’ and ‘truth’) until a more equitable balance of power between the sexes is realised. If and when the two sexes are judged equally, and by the same standards, I will be prepared to find in favour of each for 50 per cent of the time. However, while a patriarchal society insists on finding in favour of men - regardless of what they do - and insists on this practice as 'objective', I shall persist with my practice of finding only in favour of women and will insist - with equal justification, that this is objective.

I will not make such unsubstantiated (and stereotypical) comments as: Mary Beard's work suffers from ‘poor presentation’, that it is at times but ‘ill-tempered rhetoric’ which goes ‘too far’, for I understand that this ‘evidence’ can be used to exclude her - justifiably of course - from future consideration. I will, instead, assert the positive nature of her contribution. (And I will not - and have not quoted - the sources of such statements, so that it is very difficult for someone to take and use these negative comments.)

‘Essentially, Mary Beard invented the concept of Women's Studies and Women's History’, says [Gerda] Lerner (1981, p. xxii), and while I don't quite concur (Matilda Joslyn Gage, for example, gets no mention in Lerner's book), this simply helps to confirm how successful the process of erasure is. 'It was Mary Beard, first and foremost,' continues Lerner, ‘whose critique of an androcentric academic establishment led her to envision new models of education for women.’ Among her papers there is 'evidence of Beard’s efforts for starting a women's studies course at Radcliffe College and of her protracted work collecting sources for the history of women and establishing a Women's History Archive. I found here a two-page listing of questions, yet to be answered, about women in history, and I found a very few sentences which became my guidelines, as I tried to proceed in this endeavour. In a very real sense I consider Mary Beard, whom I never met, my principal mentor as an historian' (ibid., p. xxii-xxiii).

She made an enormous difference to Gerda Lerner's life: there are many more like her who could make a comparable difference to our lives - if we knew about them.

-Dale Spender, Women of Ideas and What Men Have Done to Them