#we see beys damaged physically from very early on in the show

[stormyrainyday]

the hyoma and reiji battle bladers fight remains one of my favorites in the show it had no reason to go that hard it makes me sick to my stomach

[defilerwyrm]

⭐️ Bei Mir Bist Du Schön

FIC SPOILERS AHEAD!

Bei Mir Bist Du Schön on AO3

He opened his mouth to thank Essek but what came out instead was, “Deine Augen sind wunderschön.”

Essek stared at him, perfectly neutral save for the subtle rise of stark white eyebrows. “I don’t speak Zemnian,” he said, flashing his customary, placid little smile.

This is early Essek, well before c2e097, so this is a fully calculated move. That stare is him running simulations in his head, as it were, weighing his options, and he finally decides that he can learn more about Caleb if the guy thinks he doesn’t understand these little asides.

And boy did he ever just learn something juicy.

The second time, he was feeling petulant. Essek was normally a very patient and talented teacher, but there came a time when they butted heads over the best way to work a spell: Essek’s experience and Caleb’s contradicted each other, and neither was willing to admit that he was wrong because they weren’t. Caleb couldn’t have said why they were getting spirited over it. It was unlike them to lock horns this way, and the condescension chafed fiercely.

To my understanding, Wildemount never—at least post-Calamity—had a continent-spanning culture like the Roman Empire that would standardize learning across regions, and the Empire and Dynasty have utterly lacked in cultural exchange pretty much throughout their histories; so I reason that their approach to magic must be very damn different right down to the fundamentals. But, I also reason, magic is like math, in that there’s more than one way to come to a given conclusion—so the same spell cast by an Imperial mage might use different theory and somatic/verbal components with the same results.

I love fic that plays homage to cultural differences, so I figured that there must surely come a point where Caleb and Essek quibble about how to do a thing, with the crux being that they’re both right.

In a fit of pique, he muttered, “Du hast Glück, dass du abartig schön bist, denn du bist so ein Arsch.”

Essek’s head whipped up so fast that, for a moment, Caleb thought maybe he understood after all—but Essek just squinted at him without recognition and said, “I beg your pardon?”

Essek’s poker face is doing triple duty here because Caleb just said he’s hot af but also a dick, and this isn’t a sentiment Essek hasn’t heard before, but it hasn’t really gotten under his skin like it does this time.

Caleb passed a hand over his face and scratched at the beard he desperately needed to shave off. “Nothing,” he lied, “just annoyed with myself. This should be a moment of discovery, now that we know this can go either way. A door has unlocked and we’re both pulling it shut. Can we start again?”

The slip, and Essek’s reaction to it, made Caleb realize that they were both being dillweeds about the whole thing and it wasn’t going to move them forward at all.

It was—of course, of fucking course the intonation mattered. “A tonal shift,” he breathed. He took Essek by the lapels of his robe and shook him gently, and blurted out, “Ich könnte dein Gehirn küssen und dann deinen Mund.”

“What the hell is going on,” Nott squeaked at the same time as Essek chuckled almost nervously, “Caleb, I don’t—”

Hot boi damn near let the cat out of the bag right here. It’s certainly not that he specifically did not want to be smooched at all, but more that 1) Nott was RIGHT THERE so it would be mortifying, 2) he’s still very D: about physical contact and this point, and 3) he’s still very privately going “fuck fuck fuck WHY a HUMAN” about his own attraction to Caleb. There is very much a part of him that Wants That, but the rest of him is just not coping with it at all just yet.

The following morning, though, all he could think about was Dein Bett wäre besser and Essek’s careful fingers touching his face.

Both of them are fully mortified with themselves. They’re ridiculous. I see Caleb heading back to the Xhorhaus with shoulders bunched up, brow furrowed, and wide eyes glued to his own feet as his brain screams “DEIN BETT WÄRE BESSER” at him, mockingly, over and over. Slipping up and confessing your attraction to your crush is relatably horrifying (gods, I’ve been there, it’s awful) and Caleb is predisposed to beat himself up to begin with. Add in the rest of the party making a big deal over the fact that he spent the night over at Essek’s towers and you’ve got an abject storm in that little ginger head of his.

It did not help matters that no matter how much he insisted that nothing happened, the Mighty Nein were dead set on believing that he’d slept with his mentor, and they spent the next three days teasing him about it, none of them aware that he was simultaneously tormenting himself.

Okay so I try to be good and not talk shit about my own work these days, but that sentence just landed in a belly flop for me. I’m not sure it actually gets across what I’d meant, which was that Caleb was beating himself up for a different reason than what they all thought.

In the midst of a messy ambush by three of the wolf-cat eye-beasts, one of them managed to get the drop on Caleb, and it pinned him, screaming, to the ground. Its claws dug fiery punctures into either side of his chest. He thrashed, trying to get both hands up to cast, but it would be too late—his reflexes weren’t good enough. His body had never been nearly as sharp as his mind, and he was about to pay the price in the form of massive, dagger-like fangs lunging towards his throat. He screamed again, chest nearly frozen with fear, when—

Adventurers are generally made of tough stock, but I really wanted to dig into the POV of someone who’s being attacked by a terrifying cerature intent on ripping them apart. “You take 12 piercing damage and are knocked prone” is mechanical and dry; I wanted to show the full in-character implications of those mechanics.

Another fic that represents game mechanics narratively to absolutely stunning affect is Hard Mouth by road_rhythm, which I cannot recommend highly enough. I wrote Bei Mir before Hard Mouth started posting but had it been the other way around, it 100% would have been an inspiration in that regard.

He could not help but murmur, “Götter, ich bins so verschossen in dich.”

Fun fact: I got myself the book Talking Dirty German specifically for writing Caleb dialogue, and it really came in handy here. This idiom is from that book, as did abartig schön. The literal translation is “Gods, I am so shot into you,” which coming to think of it sounds a wee bit dirty but is figuratively very sappy.

Speaking of sappy….

“Das Gefühl ist Gegenseitig,” came the warm and sleepy reply.

Part of this is Essek being barely-conscious, but the bulk of it is this—and this is basically giving away the whole way the fic progresses: pretending not to know Zemnian began as a manipulation tactic to get intel, then became a game of “Let’s see how long it takes you to figure this out, smart boy” as their bond grew and Essek stopped deliberately trying to throw Caleb off, and finally when they were a couple he figured it would be cruel and pointless to keep up the ruse, especially since he’d been growing to appreciate pet names in their mother tongues.

Caleb took a deep breath, set his tea aside, and launched himself at Essek, who yelped, laughing, and danced out of his grasp. Essek led him on a merry chase around the kitchen and held out as long as he could before crying mercy at Caleb’s vicious tickling.

You know, I probably shouldn’t point this out in case my readers hadn’t cottoned onto it yet either, but it wasn’t until like a week after publishing this that I stopped and thought, “WTF happened to Essek’s teacup? Did he take the time to set it down? Did it get dropped and shatter? Did he show off and levitate it?? Did he bring it with him and get tea all over the place and himself?!” Smh…. Choose your own explanation, I guess, lmao.

The rolls were a little burnt that morning, but Caleb had no regrets.

Part of me feels like this is kind of a weak ending, but I justify it to myself by remembering how hard Caleb regretted his slip-ups over the course of the fic. He spends a good bit of copy beating himself up over them, so ultimately I think it fits, even if it kinda lacks punch.

[redrobin-detective]

Random ATLA Headcanons

(most of them involving Zuko sorry)

- Zuko's scar ended up very symbolic in the Fire Nation. For most of his life, it was a source of shame and disgrace. But after the war ended, when people realized peace was possible and they learned the true horrors of what the Fire Royals had been up to, that changed. The scar became a symbol of standing up for your beliefs no matter the personal cost. Protesters from all over the world would smear red paint across their left eye to show their support of their causes. Zuko was stunned but extremely touched, his mark of shame became a mark of honor. The practice outlived Zuko and became part of the culture, a lot don't even remember what it was from, only that red paint across the eye meant that they would not let tyranny stand in the way of peace.

- We know Azula was born insanely talented but that almost meant she had a harder time controlling her fire as a child. It was so powerful, it often got out of control. She sleep bent all the time and accidently burnt things far too often. Ursa/Zuko helped comfort her when she was upset but it was Ozai who taught her to channel her fire, to concentrate all her wild energy into a hotter, blue flame. Azula constantly feared losing control, of herself and of her things, because of this and is a major reason why those betrayals hurt so much and led to her downfall.

- Azula never recovered from her mental breakdown, she had good days of clarity in which she cursed Zuko and Team Avatar and swore that she would have revenge. But she also had a great many bad days when all she could do was scream and writhe on the floor. The instability had been seeded in her since childhood, once she started down that road she shattered completely. Zuko made efforts to get her help but also recognized that their father left scars he could not see nor heal. She died young, in her 30's, but Zuko kept her comfortable until the end.

- Azula actually did care for Zuko, she thought he was a weakling and a bit pathetic but she had pleasurable moments with him from her childhood. She was being sincere in her offer for Zuko to come home because she honestly did miss having him around (even if it was just to torment and manipulate him but that's practically how Azula shows affection). Ozai had been highly suspicious and initially wanted to throw Zuko in prision once he was back in the Fire Nation. It was Azula who praised Zuko's ruthlessness and gave him credit for the Avatar's death. Azula had no inkling that Aang might still be alive, she did it to change their father's mind. After Zuko betrayed, the first cracks in Azula's madness began to show, worsened by the fact that Ozai punished her heartily for convincing him to trust Zuko.

- After burning his child, Ozai denied Zuko any real treatment other than was needed to keep him alive. As such, Zuko's burn is much worse than it really should be, physically not just aesthetically. Uncle helped but without skill and materials there wasn't a lot he could do. He can still see out of the eye but not terribly well. He can't open the eye all the way, but he also can't close it right either. He can cry out of it but the tearducts were badly damaged and make tears painful. While the skin is pretty much dead and desensitized, there's a vague low-level hurt that Zuko has become accustomed to. Once he got on better terms with Katara, she bugged him until she let him look at his eye. She was horrified at the unrepaired damage and set on fixing the internal workings. She helped clear his vision a bit, soften the delicate skin around his eye and take away some of the pain. Zuko was so immensely grateful he started, to his embarrassment, to cry and cried harder when he realized it didn't hurt any more.

- Aang's death was a long, slow process. He was only about 70 when he died but he seemed much older. 100 years in suspended animation in the iceberg took it's toll. He went grey long before the others and he started to physically and mentally decline around age 50 or 60. When he did pass, everyone was sad but also a little relieved that the cheerful boy who liked riding penguins was finally free from his degenerating mind and body.

- Katara didn't truly consider Zuko a friend until months after the end of the war. She forgave him and then finally trusted him after he took lightening for her but as an actual friend, her care and affection took longer. The foundation was in the months following his coronation as Katara had to keep healing him and they bonded a lot, by the time the year anniversary came around, she was as close to Zuko as she was with the others.

- Toph never really reconciled with her parents. She felt guilty for what happened and for hurting them but any time she made a (half-hearted, brash) attempt to bridge the gap they insisted that she come home and be a good girl. She became bitter and resentful of their controlling nature and began avoiding them altogether. She continued to use the surname Bei Fong to rub it in their faces. Her daughters only saw their grandparents a few times because neither they nor Toph could accept each other faults.

- Katara became a social activist after the war. She and Aang, now married, travelled a lot together and separately saving whoever they could and spreading peace. Once the kids came along, Katara needed to stay home for longer periods of time but she still travelled when she could and still fought the good fight. When they were older, the kids would accompany Aang and Katara on their travels. This kept up for many years until Aang/Sokka's death in which she decided she wanted to go back to the Southern Water Tribe and devote herself to being a healer. She laughed when she heard the next Avatar was born close to her home and she knew that she could never really stop. 

- One of the many, many reasons Zuko and Sokka became the ultimate best bros is that Zuko also enjoyed tinkering with machines. He wasn't nearly as creative and inventive as Sokka but he was knowledgeable on mechanics from his years at sea and pretty good at math. On lazy days, Sokka would come up with wild ideas and Zuko would do the calculations and begin building.  

- But seriously, Zuko and Sokka are the actual best friends to ever friend. They hang out whenever possible which is never as often as they want but when they do meet up it's like they never seperated. Sokka has so much sway over the Fire Lord that some people joke he should be made a council member, which he eventually is to many people's distain. They remained best friends until the day Sokka died.

- The Gang didn't find out that it was Ozai who gave Zuko his mark until the hearing where Ozai was sentenced for his war crimes. Zuko tried to stop it but Iroh insisted that Ozai be held accountable for, what Iroh considered, his most despicable crime. There was a lot of hugs and tears from the Gang and Zuko was just super uncomfortable. Over the next few weeks, Ozai received quite a few visitors and was taught lesson after lesson one what happened to those who messed with a member of Team Avatar.

- Zuko actually came really close to dying from Azula's lightening. There was a lot of damage and Katara and other healers worked full time on Zuko for days to keep him alive. He almost slipped a few times but Katara (and eventually the rest of the Gang when they arrived) would yell and plead and he'd come back. It was tense for a few days but finally he stabilized. When he was conscious again, he was legitimately shocked at how concerned and relieved the Avatar and his friends (now Zuko's friends) were that he was ok.

- Sokka died fairly early, non-benders don't live nearly as long as benders. I'd place his death a few years after Aang who also died very young for a bender and an Avatar. He was mourned across the world for his heroism and bravery. He was at the North Pole when he died, his friends seeking care from the best healers in a futile attempt to try and save him. When he passed, the full moon darkened for a full minute before coming back brighter than before. They were immeasurably sad but they knew that Yue and Sokka had once again reunited.

- Once they found Ursa (ignoring the Search, Zuko just found and tracked her down and brought her back to the Palace), Katara grew close with her. Katara was immeasurably excited for Zuko to be reunited with his mother but also jealous. She tried to be supportive and wound up really liking Ursa. She was kind and gentle but also strong enough to murder a Fire Lord for her children. Ursa reminded her a lot of Kya and Katara soon looked to her as a pseudo-mother figure to help her when she was struggling.

- Likewise, Hakoda became another paternal figure in Zuko's life. Iroh was great and wonderful, Zuko's true parent who deserves that honor, but Hakoda thinks that a boy needs to learn other things. Whenever Zuko was at the South Pole, Hakoda would take Zuko out on trips, teach him to fish and hunt and do all the things the men of the village are expected to do. It's hard and he's not very good at it, but Zuko learns these skills. More importantly, Hakoda gave Zuko advice that maybe Iroh couldn't give, served as a younger, slightly more accessible adult man for Zuko to turn to.

- Basically what I'm saying is the Fire Nation Royals and the Southern Water Tribe Chief's family basically adopted each other into their families. The world doesn't quite understand but this is the dawn of a new age where anything is possible.

- Ursa was the one who initially introduced Zuko to swords. She was a master swordswoman herself and, as a non-bender, she needed some way to defend herself. Ozai deemed her swords skills unworthy and so she was forced to practice in secret. Young Zuko would watch her fascinated as she danced and maneuvered her sword with all the grace of a dancer. She taught Zuko the basics before she disappeared and he kept up the training as a way to honor her memory.

- Mai and Ty Lee ended up fitting into the group quite well. It was weird at first but once they stopped thinking about it's like they'd always been there. The two girls really blossomed in a healthy, open group and were able to recover from Azula's abuse. Mai and Zuko could be sickeningly cute and they never seemed happier than when they were with each other. Ty Lee spent most of her time with the Kyoshi Warriors but steadily developed good relationships with the Gaang. She became closest to Aang and Katara (and Zuko of course) and Toph and Sokka found themselves drawn to Mai's dry, cutting sense of humor. A gathering never felt complete without the two of them there.

- Ty Lee visited Azula whenever she was in the Fire Nation, apologizing for the betrayal (recognizing that it was a significant reason why Azula broke) and trying to help repair Azula's mind. It never helped and more often than not Ty Lee left in tears but, like Zuko, she persisted in visiting. Mai never saw Azula again after their last encounter at the Boiling Rock. She said she'd suffered enough at Azula's hands and had no desire to see her again. She knows Zuko is a little upset at the curt dismissal but Mai will never forgive the Fire Princess for everything that happened.

- Toph adopted Zuko as her big brother pretty early on. She stomped her foot one day and declared that Azula wouldn't accept him then Toph was going to steal Zuko away. The boy was confused but found he genuinely enjoyed having a younger sister to tease and dote on and carry around again. Toph would always burst into the Fire Nation Palace and demand to see her big brother, even when they were both old and grey.