#we see a lot of others (like anthem) who do constantly fight and even if they do take little breaks before fighting again

[lunar1an]

it's really interesting to see how lucy idolizes john compared to his actual actions in arc 13, and also compared to the unhealthy direction lucy's own character is taking.

john felt a sense of duty and obligation towards his bound companions, so he made a deal to free them in exchange for taking the carmine seat. he could have chosen peace, happiness, and backing away from an eternal, senseless war, but his duty to his friends was more important than any of that--and even more important than lucy.

i'm not sure lucy has accepted that john made a bad choice there. she's gotten to the point where she feels like eternally fighting is an obligation she *has* to do, where it's bad if you don't fight, even at the cost of your own happiness. she blames the entire universe and literally anyone else for john's death except for john himself, completely removing his own agency.

and i think a lot of lucy's current complexes, her inability to put down the knife, her insistence that destroying herself for a greater cause is good and right, is because she doesn't want to accept that john might have not made the best decision after all. continuing the cycle of violence isn't how it's done, especially because at the end of it, you'll be so twisted by that violence that you won't be capable of making positive change.

[desertpacificoctopi]

💥💐👑✏️🖍️⚙️❇️🚆💧☁️🌟🌠❤️💌 for Quiet.

💥 COLLISON - what emotions do they have trouble dealing with?

oh babey. surprisingly enough, pride is a tough one for them, just the same as guilt. the latter is easier to fall into and spiral with, the former its opposite that causes that same spiral. they feel undeserving of pride, constantly. it's a struggle they're always working through, to let themself feel accomplished with themself. to like the person that they've become.

💐 BOUQUET - create a bouqet for them! what do those flowers mean? are any of the flowers their particular favourite?

okay well the easiest one is their/my favorite, lamprocapnos aka bleeding hearts. but that one isn't all that space-filling, so i am going to crack open the plant symbolism wikipedia page. uhhh. amaryllis for watson (beauty, determination), camellias for deify (longing, dearly missed), purple morning glory for monty (love in vain, affection), snowdrops for sieglinde (consolation, hope), probably some kind of greenery that is suitably old for anthem. i was trying to keep these pink but like the purple in association with monty was too good to pass up. control bitches. i can spend way too long thinking abt this so i will just move on

👑 CROWN - what does your oc want to be remembered as? why?

ouuubh. well. part of it is in our actual first name, which means dear friend. they want to be known as someone who can be depended on for love and support and guidance, mostly among their immediate circles. they don't really care for the idea of being known to a wider public, even if they can't quite avoid that seeing as they spend a significant amount of time in the company of The Desires- but if that can't be avoided then they just want to be known as a gentle and guiding hand. the conductor of the orchestra, the one who makes their friends shine.

✏️ PENCIL - is there a particular quote / lyric that you associate with them?

in terms of quotes, it's got to be something from either their bridge deal with control- "That does sound nice, doesn't it? Something with structure. Supports. Carrying yourself and others, holding them inside you. The self construction…"- or the conversation they had with insight- "A little bit of power in truth, a little bit of strength in self image, a little bit of gentle love." for lyrics though. auaughh. so hard to pick. "be still my foolish heart / don't ruin this on me" from almost (sweet music) by hozier. we are going with that.

🖍️ CRAYON - what advice would you give to them?

ohhh god they're me. what can i say to them that hasn't already been said better by other characters? just. be less scared. they have no reason to be afraid of things because there is love in them and also several deities on their side.

⚙️ GEAR - what are your ocs thoughts on science & art? which do they give more importance to? how much value do they place on each?

while they/i associate myself with Both science and art? it Kind of seems like quiet has taken a side considering that they Are music now. but both are intrinsically very valuable to them, on a personal level And in society at large. they might pick up classes in our degree again soon. also add people watch out they Are going to make you learn an instrument and you are going to Like It

❇️ SPARKLE - what is their most prized possession? what do they value?

ouuubh the baton is up there. it's good to use at fight club in its spear form and it holds a LOT of sentimental value. their shitty plants in their room and the Flannel Pile are also prized possessions, in addition to any and all gifts they've received from blair or anthem or any of the other pcs.

🚆 TRAIN - what is their answer to the trolley problem?

lif t thte train Off the tracks. with goddly levitations. and set it On the groudn next to it. No One Has To Die !

💧 DROPLET - random angst headcanon

so much of them is angst oh babey. i mean they always feel guilty about picking control for a desire but at the same time they also feel guilty about. monty being their reason for existence. monty didn't Ask for someone to base their entire them on her. they're constantly afraid that they're pressing in too close to him. that they're infringing on something by Being a control bridge next to her.

☁️ CLOUD - a soft headcanon

while using their metaphysical body is a reflex now, they do relish the ability to weave through a room and feel their friends and family, to embrace them in a way that is more than embracing and understand each of them for what is brightest and most sweet.

🌟 GLOWING STAR - what do they think about when they look at the night sky? is there someone they want to star gaze with?

the vastness of it all. they are more than they were but they are still so small. there are a million million small lives all around them, all of them just as important and worth cherishing. they'd love to stargaze with any of their partners, or laid out on a blanket with their friends- experiencing a smallness together.

🌠 SHOOTING STAR - if they could make any wish with no repercussions, what wish would they make?

in all honesty, there's not a lot about the world that they want fixed that they wouldn't want to do with their own hands or others'. maybe they would wish to have a version of their sister with them.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

physical touch, both abnormal (using their metaphysical body) and normal (cuddling like a normal person). and soooo much quality time.

💌 LOVE LETTER - do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?

they do like love letters i think :) but they're a little scared of repeating themself and hence making it somehow less Meaningful, so they keep like Charts. of what kind of language they use with each partner. they like to leave messages of appreciation and encouragement tho. letting their partners know the ways they understand them.

[spiked-tea-writing]

and they were roommates?!

SapnapxFem!Reader

Summary: Imagine being in love with your roommate, couldn't be you.

Pronouns: She/her

Warning: Swearing

Word Count: 2.3k

A/n: I don’t watch or know anything, I just like these people and I had a concept. Also, he and Dream aren’t roommates in this for the sake of I can’t figure that out. Also also, my timeline is probably fucked but who cares

The dynamic in the apartment was...interesting to say the least

In the two years of living together, it had shifted a lot

In the beginning, you and Sapnap had been... less than cordial to each other

Both eighteen, fresh out of high school, off to college thinking that you knew everything.

There was lots of fighting, to say the least.

All of the “No it’s your turn to vacuum”, and “I swear to god Sapnap I will punt you halfway across the world if you eat my pineapple again”

The only reason you didn’t slit each other’s throats was that if the other person was dead, who would pay rent?

It was the summer before college started at the time, and you were working long hours minimum wage so coming]’/ home to an annoying prick caused a crap ton of conflict

After a few months of being little bitches to each other, y’all got piss drunk in the apartment and it all just sorta fell apart

Got that good drunk therapy, spilling your deepest secrets

(y’all were underage but shhh)

So by the time college started, the two of you had become actual friends and started enjoying each others company

A few months into the friendship, you encouraged him to post the video of “Minecraft, but it’s Raining Cats and Dogs” on a whim

Lmao little did you know what you had created (we’ll get to that later)

You mocked his train of thought constantly, laughing at the timing of it all.

“Ahhh yes, I am Sapnap, the genius who thought it’d be great to become a YouTuber while in my first year of college.”

He’d always just laugh and roll his eyes, playfully shoving you while stealing your chips.

The next few months were a haze of studying, work, and him.

It was truly a friendship of convenience since you guys were so busy, him starting his youtube career, and you working restaurants, then school on top of that, it was just easy to find friendship in your roommate.

Of course, he had his close friends which he spoke to over the internet, and you had your friends from back home, but as for college, it really was only him.

You guys had a fun time just hanging around the apartment, and it became so easy to be friends with him

And it WAS truly platonic (we’ll get back to that as well)

The best thing he brought to the friendship was his animals

You got on fabulously with Cash and the cats

They were all so cuddly and honestly loved you more than him lmao

You guys were just trying to get degrees and not be too stupid, was that too much to ask???

Well to a certain 2020, it was

The beginning of that year was great.

He was sorta realizing that he liked putting himself on social media, but on top of that, it seemed like a great start to a year.

February brought him to twitch, which you loved

You found it hilarious how he would just sorta play games and have people watch him live.

But you were incredibly supportive, as a friend, of course

He really liked it so, you tried to ignore the shouting at three am, and the loud anthems at night

Sure you’d give him hell in the morning, but why kill his fun?

March started great, as it was his birthday.

You got him a glittery lighter as a gag, but it was the perfect gift for a broke-ass college student

Then a certain pandemic came a-knockin’ on y’all’s door

It was a hard hit on both of you.

An executive decision was made that you two would stay put, but being away from your families was incredibly tough.

That spring was the birth of The SMP.

It brought him so much joy, which in turn made you happier.

The rest of the school year was a blur of zooms and test

Nick nearly killed you on multiple occasions when you made fun of the fact that he was learning computer science over the computer or made him help you figure out what the fuck zoom was since it was tangentially related to his major

“SAP HELP ME YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS ITS YOUR FUCKING MAJOR!!!”

“NO, IT’S- AHHHHHHHHH”

Yall got more than a handful of noise complaints shhhh

That summer was fill was spent trying to fill the time in weird ways

Note to self, he can’t cook (which you learned the hard way)

Yall spent so much time trying to cook and bake, then sweating off the calories working out with The Fitness Marshall lmao

As sucky as the situation was, that summer was so incredibly fun for the both of you, and truthfully the only arguments were about what music to blast

“Y/n I swear if I listen to Cosmicandy one more time I will drown you.”

“Well if I hear American Idiot one more time someone’s knee caps are getting harvested.”

(that argument was settled with Elton John.)

When school started up again that fall, something shifted

After a year of actual friendship, you guys were no longer just friends, and the tension was so thick it could be cut with a knife

You had watched every single one of his streams since day one, but within 2 seconds of his Love or Host, you felt the need to hurl for some peculiar reason

It was bizarre because there was no way you could ever like him, of course not.

Within the apartment, you guys suddenly got a lot more touchy, but only because it was getting cold with winter and all that jazz.

It wasn’t because yall were secretly in love, what is this, a romcom?

The number of times you guys woke up on the couch, definitely not cuddling was too many to count

You started sitting in his room while he streamed, definitely not watching him with heart eyes because of how excited he got

He always had a pot of coffee full and a 6-pack of monster in the fridge since he knew you ran on spite and caffeine, and definitely not so that he could spend more time with you in the early hours of the morning.

The laundry started getting all mixed around, resulting in just sharing any sweats, hoodies, or socks.

The same thing went for food.

No longer was anything labeled with a name, if it was in the fridge, it was fair game (unless there was a post-it because come on, yall weren’t monsters)

But no, y’all were just roommates, not dating, lets make that clear.

Feelings? We don’t know her.

This entire time, his friends have had to hear about you rip.

But they got front row seats to your relationship development

“OMG my roommate is the worst she ate all of the frozen strawberries”

“Y/n kidnapped Storm all day while she studied and I thought I lost the fucking cat asjvdk”

“I had to run down and talk to the landlord because we dropped a pot of pasta sauce all over the carpet and couldn’t get the damn stain out.”

“She is so nice in preparation for a family dinner zoom, she ran out to the local Filipino food place and pick stuff up.”

“Sorry I’m late I overslept and didn’t want to wake up Y/n.”

They weren’t stupid, and could clearly see how whipped he was.

Dream and Geroge teased him about it constantly.

“Woah, calm down Sap, you should probably tell her you love her before you propose.”

“Yeah Dream’s right, it’s kinda weird that you’re living together before ever dating.”

He always flushed and denied it with a shake of his head.

He wasn’t into you, are they crazy?

Quackity and Karl messed with him in more unorthodox ways

There are a solid number of clips where they are fake crying over how he’s cheating on them, and even more tweets to match

It only got worse when you met them accidentally.

He was chatting post-stream on a video channel with George, Dream, Karl, and Quackity, and just his luck, you came into his room.

Like of all the times you could walk in, it was the time he was with his five closest friends but I digress

“Yo I got some extra tips yesterday so I picked up some extra Red Bull if you want to do one of your weird all-nighter streams.”

“Y/n I’m on channel.”

“Oh shit sorry my b. Catch.”

All the guys heard was a thud and a groan from Sapnap as the six-pack hit him in the chest.

Dream was the one to recognize your name.

“WAIT IS THAT Y/N I WANT TO MEET THEM!”

You could hear Dream’s voice through his headphones

“Sap… who is that?”

“No one. I’ll be out in a sec to help with dinner.”

You could hear a British voice come through.

“Oh so we are no one now, huh.”

Another voice piped through.

“Common... ¿Qué intentas ocultar?”

You cut in.

“Your headset it shit my guy. I can hear everything. I’m down to talk to them.”

He let out a groan.

“Fine. But you’re gonna have to do the dishes tonight.”

“Deal. Now move.”

“What? No.”

“Fine bitch.”

You collapsed onto his lap, plucking the headphones off of him.

“Hello, Sapnap’s friends. I am Y/n. A pleasure to meet y’all. Can you hear me?”

You heard a series of laughs through the headset, and a voice came through.

“Yes, we can see you too. I’m Karl, it’s so nice to finally meet his girlfriend.”

A blush rose on both of your faces, and another voice came through.

“Yeah, we’ve heard lots about you. Plus we can’t see your face in that picture Sap sent us. I’m Quackity”

That remark stopped your embarrassment in its tracks.

“What the fuck? How do you guys know me? I’m not even his girlfriend? And what picture?”

Sapnap grabbed your arm to calm you down as another voice cut in, but his one you recognized as his friend Dream.

“Hey, it’s okay. He just talks about you a bit, and the picture I believe was of you holding like three cats with like a red bull can on your head.”

“Jesus fucking christ why do they have that photo??”

He looked guilty but chuckled.

“Because that photo is a damn masterpiece.”

Karl’s voice came back in with a giggled.

“Soooo, Y/n we’d love to hear about you. Specifically anything funny or embarrassing that you have learned by living with him.”

Sapnap let out a groan from behind you as you went off.

“WELL lemme tell y’all, he has no cooking knowledge, well I mean, now he does, but one time, about a year ago, I had I been keeping a pot of water boiling for about an hour, soft boiling eggs, cooing noodles, blanching bok choy, etc. but this fucking genius is like ‘oH tHe HaNdLe Is StIcKiNg OuT. LeMmE mOvE iT wItH mY bArE hAnD.’ Needless to say, he burnt the crap outta his hand and kept the bag of frozen blueberries on it for the entire night. It took me like a solid five seconds to actually help him because I was laughing.”

By the time you had finished that story, you had seen Nick roll his eyes like 5 five times while the rest of the guys were wheezing.

“Yeah, well remember the time you were trying to imitate Rapunzel after we had watched it over Zoom with my sister, and you swung the edge of the frying pan into our head and got a nasty bump on it? At least I moved quick enough to put some ice on it.”

“Ice? It was the damn leftover Slushy that I had been freezing.”

“True, but you got to drink it after, so it was a win-win situation.”

“Sap, I had a bump the size of a golfball coming off of my temple. There was no winning.”

“Fine, you’re just making me sound like such a shit roommate.”

“No that’s not true, you do all of the talking to the landlord, and you at least tried to muffle the noise when you stream.”

“I guess that’s true, but you do like 80% of the cleaning.”

“Yeah but only because you’re working. Plus in the past 6 months, you’ve made coffee every morning, AND made sure I was taking my meds.”

“Those things aren’t that hard and I do it to make sure you don’t die because I lo- care about you.”

“What?”

“What?”

You heard Dream’s wheeze laugh and remembered that you guys were still on call.

“Smooth.”

You both went red, and Sap moved his arm around you to leave the channel.

The next few moments were complete torture, the two of you just sitting in silence.

You were wondering if he meant what he was about to say and he was scared that you had heard it.

He was the one to break the silence. (mind you you’re still sitting on his lap lmao)

“I’m sorry about that.”

You weren’t sure how to respond. Should you ask him if he meant it? Because that wouldn’t be that bad. Or just pretend it never happened. Nah that’d be hella awkward. Or-

“I love you too.”

“You what?”

Wow, okay your brain is being a little bitch rn, but fuck it. Balls to the walls baby.

“I love you, and I have for a while now. I just want you to know.”

You finally looked him in the eye, and he was grinning like the Cheshire Cat.

“Thank god. I love you, and nearly fucking told you for the first time in front of my friends accidentally. Damn, I’m smooth.”

You laughed and he smiled wider.

“Can I kiss you?”

After a quick nod he swooped in and holy hell his lips felt great. His arm wound around your waist and your hands made their way to his jaw as he pulled you closer to him.

The only thing playing in your mind was “and they were roommates”

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Let’s talk about ‘Friends’ by BTS

by Admin 1

Friends is the subunit song by Jimin and Taehyung (co-written and co-produced by Jimin) from Map of the Soul : 7 which was released in February 2020. Interestingly enough, the Korean title is actually 친구, a word that is only used for friends of the same age, which is how ARMY figured out that it had to be their subunit prior to the release of the album.

On a very surface level, Friends is about the bond between Jimin and Taehyung recounting different little stories over the years, including the now famous dumpling incident which was first presented to us as a conflict that merely took up a few hours. Actually though it was a conflict that grew big enough that Jimin and Taehyung barely spoke to each other for two weeks and it culminated in Jimin getting drunk with Yoongi and then meeting Taehyung at a park at 4 am to make up. Yes, the same park at 4 am that Taehyung and Namjoon sing about in 4 O’Clock. That song, like many suspected, really was about Jimin and Taehyung as well.

But, while Friends might seem simple and fun on the outside, especially due to the upbeat melody and anthem like chorus, I think there is far more to it than meets the eye. Stella Jang, who co-wrote the lyrics, said in an interview with K-Pop Herald that BigHit sent her an email which contained the song as well as long stories about Jimin’s and Taehyung’s bond and based on that she was supposed to write short lyrics. She also had a friend, who is an ARMY, help her truly understand the depth of their bond. That alone to me shows that this goes far deeper than most might assume, and others wish for it.

Hello my alien We’re each other’s mystery Would it be why it’s more special

This verse for me is very interesting, especially since Jimin reclaims a nickname that people used to call Taehyung by which he hated. Instead Jimin turned it into something endearing, something that now belongs to them instead of others. It’s also noteworthy that that specific line is in English, not Korean, and he says my alien, so basically telling the listener that he takes some kind of claim over Taehyung, connects them in a way that anyone would understand, and unmistakably highlights that he’s the only one to call him like this because Taehyung is special to him, much the way you’d call someone dear to you/someone you love by an endearment such as ‘my darling’ or ‘my love’. 

More below the cut:

The mystery part could refer to the early days of their friendship, the times when they were just getting to know each other and trying to figure out their dynamic and each other in a more general sense. We know they almost instantly became friends, stuck to each other and spent a lot of time together, despite constantly getting in little fights, but perhaps those struggles were what made the end result that much more special to them. Interesting to note is also how Jimin once said that when he saw Tae for the first time he experienced many different emotions (he didn’t specify which ones though), and how to this day he remembers Tae only wearing those red shorts and snapback and how even then he already looked like an idol/celebrity. 

But the line could also refer to something more recent, or something more overarching, like a secret about themselves that only they know about, that they share and guard together.

Someday, when these cheers die down, stay hey Stay with me by my side Forever, keep staying here, hey

and

Someday, when these cheers die down, stay hey You are my soulmate Forever, keep staying here, hey You are my soulmate

These two might just be the most important parts of the song, and the ones that seem to be the hardest to swallow for some. This is basically Jimin and Taehyung asking each other to stay together forever, even when (or especially when) their careers will be over and BTS won’t be such a main and overarching reason for them to stay by each other anymore, so to speak. It implies that what they have is something they want to last forever, that it reaches far beyond them just being two best friends inside a group, but that they are rather two people who found ‘their person’ in each other. They know they’ve found something one of a kind, once in a lifetime, and want to hold on to it, to each other. It’s also them proclaiming and reminding everyone once again that they are soulmates, that this isn’t just something ARMY made up, some shipping agenda or anything like it, but that it is truly the title they see most fit for each other, that it basically feels like their bond was destiny and they were always meant to be together. You are my soulmate is also in English, something that every listener will understand, something so important they specifically made it this way so you wouldn’t need to look up translations from Korean to get it.

Sidenote--somehow soulmate has become a very debated term in connection to vmin so lets look at the definition for soulmate that wikipedia gives us: A soulmate is a person with whom one has a feeling of deep or natural affinity. This may involve similarity, love, romance, platonic relationships, comfort, intimacy, sexuality, sexual activity, spirituality, compatibility and trust. Most of these are rather connected to the most traditional way in which people imagine soulmates, as in two people destined for each other, lovers perfect for one another. Of course there are friendship type soulmates, but those are far more rare in peoples minds. The point I’m getting at is that Jimin and Taehyung never defined which type of soulmate they are, and until I saw non-vminies have a fight about how they’re definitely just platonic ones, I never even really saw the word soulmate in connection with ‘platonic’. In a way you could argue that both sides are right, that they are both friendship soulmates but also romantic ones as well, their bond encompassing both. But in the end, of course, that’s something only they can confirm yet I thought I’ll mention it anyway.

Like your pinky, we’re still the same I know your everything We must trust each other Don’t forget Instead of an obvious thank-you, you and I — let’s promise that we won’t fight tomorrow, for real

These lines may seem so simple, short and sweet, but I think there is a lot of meaning to them, a lot that’s written between the lines and potentially only something they understand the true extent of. I know your everything is another reminder that they are each others secret keepers, each others closest confidants, their person to go to and laugh or cry or celebrate with. Jimin and Taehyung have something that is rare, one of a kind, and it’s something beautiful that should be regarded with respect and wonder since it’s close to a miracle that they met and formed their bond in such a manner. After all Jimin is from Busan and Taehyung from Daegu, chances are, if BTS hadn’t happened, they might’ve never met, though looking at everything BTS have said about each other, they seem to believe they were all destined to meet regardless if as members of BTS or as normal people. The same most likely would’ve also have been the case for Jimin and Taehyung, and Friends is a beautiful piece of proof of that.

Many dismiss Friends as just a song about their friendship, but I think once you truly think about the lyrics and the thoughts that must’ve gone into it, you might change your mind. Even more so when you take into account what Namjoon said about Friends in his MOTS:7 vlive, how he wouldn’t even dare try writing any of the lyrics because he could never, ever do them justice, and how just thinking about the bond Taehyung and Jimin have, he gets goosebumps. That alone already says a lot, implies a lot of different things, very deep and (in my opinion) potentially more than just friends type things. There was also a moment during Bon Voyage 3 in Malta where Namjoon and Seokjin were at a restaurant together and somehow they brought up Taehyung and Jimin and both just shook their heads at how they are just--something, something apparently meaningful enough neither dared to voice it.

Friends might not be something you’d call a traditionally romantic or love song by any means, at least sound wise, but I’d argue the lyrics tell a completely different story, one of a bond that binds two souls, that combines friendship and love (both the love you have for a cherished friend, but also the one you feel for a romantic partner, I’d argue). The song, as well as 4 O’Clock are far more than meets the eye, you just have to be open and willing enough to see it.

After all Taehyung did say: “95z is love.” The biggest clue of them all.

(Lyric snippets taken from 친구 (Friends))

[kuekyuuq]

Gloria, Jet-lags and Imps [6x11]

Let’s jump right in:

Kinda love how Kara lamp-shaded addressed the fact she didn't tell the gang about her adventures in the PZ. She’s not wrong, tho.

...what do I want to say about Mxy using what's basically a well-known gay-anthem to tell his tale? I mean, it didn’t lead anywhere. The original song is about freeing oneself, liberation, stepping out of a (gone bad) relationship and moving on, stronger for it - empowerment. The only connection I could make, is that originally it was Nyxly’s aim to just do that (freeing herself and her kind from an oppressor), but in the way Mxy performed it, that part of the parallel was long over before he even reached the chorus. It’s also a popular Karaoke song, tho, so... he chose it because it’s catchy? I’ll try not to overthink it for now. At least, the Superfriend’s reactions were fun.

Nia exiting the elevator, "And what's this Old Stone?" I love it when ppl enter a room / situation and pick up on words that they couldn't have possibly heard. I think cinema sins ding such... Are we to assume, she dreamed Mxy's rendition of ‘I will survive’? Or is the elevator not sound-proof at all? (If it’s the latter, Nia later apparently telling Brainy “in private” between scenes / during the elevator ride about her Nyxly adventures, was a silly thing to do.)

So, "Jared" created the ring Old Stone to rule them all, it got shattered into the Paragons totems? Nyxly needs the totems and to get them she needs a crystal which also belonged to "Jared" - who happens to be Mxy's ancestor, which is why she needs Mxy / his blood, too.

I have one important and incredibly relevant question here, tho... 

With the introduced imps and their names... Why’s dude named Jared of all things?!

Really, did I mishear that? If so, I’ll leave it as is and never edit, bc that would be hilarious in its own right 😋

...

Not sure what to make about Supergirl paraphrasing a Dirty Dancing quote.  "Nobody puts Mxy into a power crystal on my watch."  ...is he Baby now? (Seriously, though: Which of the writers thought that was a fitting quote to use in that particular context?)

...now, is the exposition section of the episode over yet?

Sensitive Brainy sensed something was up with Nia. He can relate... Nia doubting Kara would understand, too, is ridiculous. But I get it... insecurities and all. But, I mean, just 5 minutes later Kara announces she wants to save Nyxly despite her wrongdoings. And yet Nia still remains convinced, Kara wouldn’t forgive her own personal mini-me... After having witnessed Kara forgiving Lena for a whole season of the writers being stupid messing up to the nth degree. But I digress, Lena’s Lena.

...how old is Nia meant to be again? Just asking out of completely unrelated curiosity.

F*ck. They really went with NewFoundland...

Imma assume it was an executive choice after realizing they couldn’t find enough actors and actresses with a convincing Irish accent... maybe. Again, no offense to Newfoundland! Just... we got the insinuations of Ireland, not Newfoundland... And truthfully, when I think of magic, Ireland is an easy association. Whereas I only due to this whole debacle learned Newfoundland has Irish ancestry. So, okay, the show forced me to learn something new... I give ‘em that.

An easy journey, she said.

Lena's been off-screen for two whole episodes, Kara announcing at the beginning of ‘Dreamweaver’ [6x09] Lena being “back east” (at least insinuating Lena’s left the west-coast already), which span over at least one full day (feat. a scene at night), and ‘I still rise’ [6x10] at least another a whole day (the whole Nia’s mom back for a day deal). And, now, after at least 48 hours she barely just arrived.

Lemme check how long a regular plane would need to fly from California to NFL......... ... .. .. So... approx. 10 hours with at least one layover. 

Yeah, using a private jet made it easier, but apparently also much, much slower...

Or, Lena randomly went some other places / did some sight-seeing in NFL before she decided to finally visit her mother’s hometown...  [Either that or the timelines don’t match up and Lena’s scenes are flashbacks of sorts.]

Optimistic and relaxed Lena is a sight to behold. I rewound 3 times, just to enjoy it for as long as possible. We all knew it was going to be short-lived... 

Let’s check off a few more items...

OMG, Kara hiding behind Alex at the mere sight of the PZ-projector broke my heart!  😢

"Elisabeth Walsh" is the new 'the one you shall not name'. ...poor Lena. 😭

Oh, so Mxy wants to be Patrick Swayze instead of Baby... gotcha.

...is this going anywhere?

KITTY!!! Okay, this must be the best opponent in the history of CWSG. 

Despite the horrible CGI, SG using her heat-vision to project a laser-beam to distract the cat had me in (happy-) tears! 🤣

Gotta love the civilians of National City quickly returning to business as usual once the giant cat is gone. Even the police officers looked rather chill...

Nyxly did look fabulous this episode ^^ 

Andrea being Lena's rock is both great and annoying. I can't fault Andrea. It's just, that we still have to see an on-screen interaction between Lena and Kara and that bugs the heck out of me. I can’t help it. I’m sorry, Andrea.

Nia: "...is my fault." Kara: "Nu, is MY fault!" J'onn: "Stop fighting, kids!" Space-dad has spoken.

Mxy used an LuthorCorp copy machine... and of cos it's faulty. It's not an L-Corp product.

Kara forgiving Nia came as a surprise to her... Oooookay. I mean, the show has been writing Kara a bit inconsistently the past two seasons... so, yeah, maybe being unsure which of her traits apply this week was not such a far stretch...

Maybe it's the hair, but I wished, Florence was played by Alex Kingston.

So, not-Alex-Kingston shows Lena herself with a funny wig and tells her how her mother was still watching her...

If it wasn't for Katie's acting skills (I love her.) I would have already hit my head against the wall repeatedly. Something about these scenes had me constantly cringe and I made it through 5.5 seasons of this show already... Can’t quite put my finger on it, but it was highly distracting from the story that explained Lena’s mom was special even to another witch, where there was domestic abuse, and an accidental murder. Y’know, important stuff, deep-cutting stuff! 

At least, poor widddle Lena got some closure there. Elisabeth was a good cookie. And filled with magic. And Lena’s gotta have that ‘spark’, too... 

....so... Lena’s gonna stay in NFL for how much longer, to train becoming a witch?  Please, just hand her a how-to manual and send her back home, to figure it out on her own, please... (Yes, that would be horrible decision-making, but I need her back with the team!)

On to the finish line: 

So... Mxy IS Nyxly's brother? Wait, that doesn’t sound right... then Nyxly would have the same blood... Did I miss something? Can someone explain, please? Or is he her ex, and that’s where his rendition of “I will survive” makes sense?

Hnn... I can't help, but think Kara's speech for Nyxly was 85% based on her experiences with Lena in s05.

Awww... he said "stronger together"... Mxy... I hope, you'll be okay!

Lena believes in magic now. And I absolutely love how Lena wants to science magic XD

...but apparently magic isn’t science that hasn’t been explained yet, but parallel... powers? concepts? ether strings?

Nyxly has a loyal henchman now. Which was a bit heavy-handed. Took way too much of screen-time, so it better leads to something interesting.

And Kara is on a warpath now. Wooooot! Girl’s got enough.

...what else? 

Did I miss a third Patrick Swayze hint / quote / mention?  I learned, these things come in threes... Y’know, basic writing rules... 

I guess, for once the episode title was meant to be taken literally, Mxy popping up between characters, to try and help. (I need in-show footage, of Mxy sneaking up on ppl, without his powers, on all fours / crouched, just to get the desired effect.) I mean, I’ve never really watched Malcom, but wasn’t he like what Mxy usually is? A bit of a trouble-maker, prankster, chaos-ensuing wherever he goes? ...well, in that case, the episode title didn’t hold up, as Mxy’s scenes were not fun or really goofy. Yes, there was some superficial humor, but just to serve Mxy dealing with not being able to use his powers, which in turn was only barely scratched at (although it turned out to be his final character development crisis, appreciating not having powers and - in turn - facing consequences for once). Again, a whole lot going on in the episode, so a lot of that may have ended up on the cutting-room floor.

...where’s Kelly? Secretly adopting a kid, maybe?

...Kara’s still a reporter, right? I mean, whenever it serves the immediate plot, yes? ...Not even a throw-away line, that she has to pop up at CatCo for appearances sake? Since Andrea is already upset with her AND looking into her friends’ identities? At least, Kara should take a peek to make sure Andrea hasn’t uncovered anything yet... No?

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now. Kue out.

[definitearticle]

Dear Baby Boomers...

"When you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression."

Older friends, come in! Sit down! I'm so glad you came.

Can I get you a water?

So listen. As your friendly neighborhood geriatric millennial, I need you to understand something. It's important, and it's going to hurt. But pain can be a sign of growth, and I want you to hear this from a friend. So know that this comes from a place of love.

So nu. I'm gonna ease into this by making sure we're on the same page with some ideas.

You know Bob Dylan's song, "The Times They Are A-Changin'," yeah? It might not have been THE anthem of your youth, but it's certainly one that's held up over time. It speaks to the ever-continuing cycle of change and the need for members of the previous generation (and those in power generally) to "get out of the [way] if you can't lend a hand."

Thing is, younger generations have been asking older generations to listen, to understand, and to help the culture progress since time immemorial. And older generations have traditionally pushed back. So your generation's experience of pushing your parents' generation into begrudging acceptance of civil rights, feminism, et al, isn't new.

But y'all came up with some great turns of phrase to express it. One of my favorites, technically coined by Jack Weinberg (5 years too old to be a Baby Boomer) was "Don't trust anyone over 30." It was an offhand phrase said in anger when Weinberg felt that the reporter interviewing him wasn't actually listening, but was instead looking for ulterior motives so that he could dismiss the message of his protest.

But the phrase stuck, and it was used not only as a rallying cry, but also as a talking point by older folks who wanted to dismiss the New Left as a bunch of whiny brats, rather than people we now know were on the right side of history regarding the war, police brutality, and so on.

So with that in mind, in the words of The Who, let's talk about MY generation, and the even younger generation just starting to come into their own.

You know how a few years ago, there were a whole lot of women in the #MeToo movement who were talking about their experiences with men and how they constantly feared sexual assault? And then you had a whole bunch of idiots coming on saying "Not all men!" because they weren't used to their demographic being the target of negative criticism? Yeah, they were idiots, and you knew it. Of course "not all men." But the MeToo movement wasn't about hating men. It was about hearing women and understanding their fears.

And by and large, you understood that. You were pretty solid on it. Good for you! No, seriously, I'm really proud of you for continuing the fight for feminism that you were on the front lines of back in your more enthusiastic years.

And you know how #BlackLivesMatter has been a thing for several years now, and how it's really a continuation of the Civil Rights movement that you grew up in? But of course, idiots tried to reframe the narrative by saying "All lives matter!" And you knew that that was just a smokescreen. Of course all lives matter, but once again black lives were being treated as if they don't matter. And the reason you recognized this was because was all familiar to you. It was the same scene you remember playing out on your 12" black-and-white screens decades ago, where protests erupted against an injustice (frequently assault or murder of an unarmed black man) and the resulting police violence shook the conscience of the country.

So you stood with BLM, or at the very least listened and acknowledged when it was explained to you. We appreciate it, truly. We do.

But here's the thing. You're not the only ones we were talking to. And a whole lot of the "all lives matter!" and "not all men!" crowd? They were from your generation. Now, not all of them, certainly. We definitely have our regressive stooges in Gen X and Millenial age groups. But let's be honest, a strong majority of the people raising a ruckus against "these kids today, with their PC woke brigade cancel culture" are members of the Baby Boom generation. And those who aren't? Well...they have the same kind of regressive attitude that comes from being the third generation out.

You know...like your parents and grandparents were when Dylan wrote his song. When your social circle embraced "Don't trust anyone over 30."

There's a frustration that comes from trying to explain something important to people who appear to not wish to listen to you, but are instead spending their time looking for reasons to discredit you, or make you feel inferior, or find any excuse to belittle you and the incredibly important message you're trying to express. When you get to that breaking point, you need a way to ripcord out of the conversation in a way that expresses not only that you're through pretending to maintain civil discourse, but also that you recognize that there was no intent for honest dialogue in the first place. You need a shorthand phrase for "You're a dishonest, condescending jerk who couldn't care less about doing the right thing or about the lives of anyone other than yourself. I am through wasting my time casting pearls before swine. Good day, sir! I SAID GOOD DAY!"

Weinberg felt it in his interview.

You've undoubtedly felt it yourself, countless times.

My generation feels it constantly. And we've come up with a pretty good phrase that encapsulates our frustration with those in power who've apparently forgotten the lessons of the past and are happy to sit in apathy in the middle of the road and never lend a hand.

And that phrase is "Okay, Boomer."

Oof. Yeah.

I know.

It stings. A lot.

And I can hear you screaming at me right now. "How dare you judge us based on our age! This is ageism, pure and simple! It's hate! Not all old people! All ages matter!"

Shhh, shhh, it's okay. You're in a safe space. We're friends. No one is judging you.

See, just like MeToo wasn't denigrating all men, and BLM wasn't saying that non-black lives didn't matter, the use of "Boomer" here is not about age. It's about the same progressive vs regressive divide you experienced when you were young, that was largely drawn along generational lines.

Not all Baby Boomers are "Okay, Boomers," and not all "Okay, Boomers" are Baby Boomers.

If you're with us on the issues, if you're supportive of people's self-identity and fight for equality, then it doesn't matter what age you are. You're gold.

But if you get told "Okay, Boomer," it's not about your age either. You've just been told that your approach to the conversation indicates to the speaker that you don't want to engage on the issues in an open and honest manner.

It means that you've probably hit a blind spot in your experience which is incredibly common and nothing to be ashamed of, but is also something that needs to be addressed.

It means you've upset the person talking to you, and they've given up trying to be reasonable with you.

It's not hate speech. It's not ageism.

It's a wake-up call. For the times, they are a-changin'.

Weinberg aged out of the demographic he framed in his statement 5 years after he made it. But from what I can find online, he continues to this day to fight the good fight. He was an anti-war activist and a union organizer before becoming a champion of environmental issues. He turned 81 earlier this year. A statistical tally in the Silent Generation, he was nonetheless clearly a member of a young Baby Boomer movement in their prime.

You can stick with us. Join your voice to ours like Weinberg joined his voice to your generation's. Like Martin Luther King (born 1929) did. Like Abbie Hoffman (1936), John Lewis (1940), Gloria Steinem (1934), Bertrand Russel (1872)...

There's plenty of room on the right side of history to be an older person that the young'uns can trust, a mentor we can talk to, someone who will actually *listen* to us and help us move the culture forward.

Or you can be someone who embodies the cause of the admonishment "Never trust anyone over 30."

But if you decide to do that, if you choose to close your ears to the pleas of the younger generation because they don't show you deference and respect? Then you're not a Baby Boomer, a phrase once used to dismiss your generation as youthful, idealistic, and unreasonable.

Then you're just an "Okay, Boomer."

[anniebrainrots]

Visit

In which you visit Dream to get the revival book. 

===================

warnings: sadistic! reader, slight mention of torture

wc: 2.5k 

===================

“And what is your relationship with the prisoner?” 

The question hung heavily in the air, and the burning stare the warden gave you would have given you goosebumps hadn’t you known him before. 

You gave him a smirk, sharp canines glinting dangerously in the low light of the prison. “Oh, come on, Sammy. You know who I am, already, why are we even bothering with the formalities, hm? Just let me see him.” 

“Answer the question properly, please.” 

You pouted, even if he was the guard of a maximum security prison and was known as some unyielding and heartless warden, Sam was still as polite as ever.

“Nice to see you haven’t changed much, Sam.” You put a finger to your chin and pretended to think, “hmm, I guess he was a friend? An ally?”

The man squinted at you before scribbling something in a book. “And lastly, why are you visiting the prisoner today?”

You chuckled inwardly at the extensive procedures, but deep down your brain was frustrated and impatient; but still, you just smiled and tried to get everything over with.

“Just wanna visit and talk to him, ‘s all.”

Sam hummed, closing the book. “Very well. Follow me.” He led you down a hallway that opened up to your left, making you whistle in amazement.

“Heard from Sap that you built this prison by Dream’s request, gotta hand it to ‘ya buddy, you did a great job. Kinda ironic that Dream’s gonna spend the rest of his life rotting here, though.” You walked with a confident strut, arms raised and folded behind your head as you continued down the dark hallway of blackstone.

He deliberately ignored your last statement, “thank you for the compliment.”

You reached a room with four doors and he took you to the one farthest on the left. There was an ender chest to the farthest wall and a chest labeled ‘Locker 1”. “Dispense all your items in the chest and wait for the key to come out. Put that key in your ender chest and we can head to the cells.”

You followed all of his instructions mutely, the looming energy of the prison finally settling into your bones. The next few steps involved getting splashed with various potions and walking through various hallways of lava, water, and blackstone. You couldn’t wait to see him, after all you heard from the outside, you wanted to hear straight from the source.

Soon enough, you reached a room in which one wall was fully encased in lava. He tells you that Dream would be standing on the other side of the wall and you felt your fingers twitch in excitement.

“You sure about this?”

You rolled your eyes at that. Of course that would be the first thing he would ask you as himself rather than the warden. “Yes I’m sure, Sammy. Why, you think this is a bad idea?”

“No, I just—alright, just face the lava wall, it should come down soon.”

The man sighed, looking at you with defeat in his eyes before he turned to the wall behind him and pulled a lever.

You hummed but didn’t respond, following his instructions quietly. It took a while for it to fully settle, so you opted to hum a song.

“What are you planning on doing?”

You were barely halfway through the L’manburg anthem before cutting yourself short. You answer without looking back.

“What do you mean? I told you I was just paying an old friend a visit, right?” You turn your head slightly to the side, looking at him from the corner of your eyes behind you.

He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall behind him. Since you entered the prison, this was the most casual he looked. “I mean it, Red. Why did you come back?”

You smirked at the nickname. ‘The Red Queen’, you were known as. Rumors had spread about your ‘violent behaviors’ when you were traveling with Dream, thus earning you the nickname which your old friends couldn’t help but tease you with. You guessed that the name stuck with some people more than others.

You gave him a slight shrug, turning back to the lava. “Maybe I just wanted to see it for myself, the bastard finally rotting in a place worse than hell.”

He didn’t answer, and you didn’t care enough to listen if he did because the lava finally fell to a point where you could see a tuft of dirty blond hair in the distance. When the burning liquid finally settled at the bottom, you could see him standing there from behind the netherite blocks.

Sam told you to stand on the platform and you listened, fists clenching as you slowly approached the prison cell. The man inside the obsidian cell looks at you with cold eyes, similar to what you remember from outside the prison, though a lot more empty as opposed to being filled with power-hungry rage. You took a first step on the obsidian before the platform behind you retracts back and the lava falls back from behind you.

The netherite barrier sunk into the ground, letting you walk around the tiny cell freely. You hummed at the sparse decorations: a chest, a desk, and a clock with a tiny note on it that said ‘Do not burn’.

Your green-eyed friend judged you from his sitting position on the floor, following your movements with squinted eyes. “What are you doing here?”

You stopped your aimless wandering, turning to him with a sigh. “Why does everyone keep asking me that? Is it weird for an old friend to come visit every once in a while? I was here when you founded the SMP.”

He gave you an unimpressed look, “you betrayed me.”

You shrugged at that, though something in you became slightly ticked off at the accusation. “Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t. Let’s agree to disagree.”

“Why are you here?” He repeated.

You sighed in mock sadness. “You’re just like Sammy out there. Not even a ‘hello’? Or a ‘long time no see’? Or a—you know, you used to call me by a nickname. What was it?” You paced up and down the small room. Of course, you were only messing with him, you couldn’t resist antagonizing him, after all.

“Flower. Why are you here?”

“Ah, yes. Flower! You used to call me that all the time,” you smile down at him, aura turning sinister and deadly. You pulled out the chair from his desk before settling it against the wall on the opposite side of the man. His mask was on the table next to a closed book, one of the few things he got to keep in his cell besides his precious clock that, from the looks of it, was not very precious to him at all.

“I’ll cut to the chase, Dream. I heard you have a little trick up your sleeve. A revival book. I’m gonna kindly ask that you hand it over to me. Take it as a gift for your dear ol’ pal.” Despite the playful nature of your words, Dream felt a chill run up his spine.

Still, not one to back down, he smirked back at you with equal heat. “I burned the book, Red. There’s no physical remnants of it in this world.”

You hummed, swinging your legs back and forth. You smiled at him with a tilt to your head, “then teach me how to do it.”

Dream rolled his eyes and scoffed, leaning back against the wall. “No.” There was nothing that he could gain from it.

“Not even if I help you break out of here?”

The way Dream paused made you produce a smile he couldn’t see. The man contemplated your words, mulling them over, weighing the consequences. He wasn’t going to lie, he has thought about calling you and asking for your help to break out of the prison. His plans to escape had to involve people from the outside, and he thought you were a powerful enough ally to do just the job. But, he thought, that the knowledge of the revival book was too powerful, too expensive to give for the exchange for his freedom that wouldn’t even be complete. Even if he did escape, there would be people constantly hunting him down until eventually, he would run out of tricks.

He sighed in defeat at his own thinking, sure that you thought of these scenarios as well, judging from the way you turned to him with a smug look.  

“No,” he finally said. He also had that favor to cash in with Technoblade; and as far as he knew, no matter how strong you were, that Technoblade would be even stronger. “Besides, Quackity’s been asking for the same thing, and he’s torturing me to have it. If I haven’t even given it to him, what makes you think I’ll give it to you?”

You pouted, getting off the chair and walking over to the lava. You put your palm as close to the lava as you could bear, intense heat warming your hands instantly as you ponder over his words.

Dream was sure he finally got you. Even if you were to torture him and hurt him, he has gone through enough to block out the pain. You could never do worse than Quackity.

“I heard Sapnap visited you a while ago.” That perked the man upright from his slouching position, narrowing his eyes at you with a glare that you chose to ignore. “I saw him on my way to the prison. He said he stops by the prison from time to time, just to make sure you haven’t escaped. How does that feel, Dream? When one of your closest friends wants you to stay rotting in this place?”

Dream’s fists clenched in anger, heat simpering through his bones as you continued to talk like nothing was the matter. He would’ve loved to throw you into the lava, but the fight in him dwindled as he was worn down by the prison, and he has long since accepted his fate.

“You know, when I came in, Sam made me sign a visiting book or something. Made me sign my name n’ shit. I saw a few familiar names, some new ones. But, I didn’t see a name I thought for sure I would see.”

Dream felt his heart drop to his stomach, already knowing who you had in mind. A shadow loomed over him, making him feel smaller than he had ever felt. His hard expression crumbled as he looked up at you, crouching in front of him with a grin on your face. He never felt more like prey, like a lamb to the slaughter, more than sitting here in front of you.

You took his silence as your cue to continue, “George hasn’t visited you at all, hasn’t he?” There it was, the final hit to complete the combo. Dream, instead of growing angry and lashing out, slumped farther into the wall as if to hide himself from your snake-like grip on his mind. You stood up, going back to pacing the wall back and forth as you continued to monologue.

“I saw him on my way here, too. He had this cute little mushroom hat that—he told me—came from the kingdom that he started with Sapnap and this guy named Karl. Lots of new faces and names around here, Dream. Anyways, I made some small talk with Georgie, it was a miracle I even saw him, do you remember how he was always asleep? You could never make that guy attend any important events in his life.” You shook your head at the fond memory, glancing at Dream from the corner of your eyes, seeing his head still leaned down and staring at the ground. Still, you knew he was listening to you.

“I saw XD there, you know. What’s that about? He calls himself a benevolent god with an unforgiving nature, but in the end he’s just a guy with powers who has himself wrapped around Georgie’s fingers. Who could blame him, though? George is very charming. Now, pop quiz. How can you hurt a man who is blessed by a god?”

Dream’s head turned to you sharply, glaring at you with eyes full of heat. “Whatever you’re planning, don’t do it or I swear to god I will make you regret it.”

You continued to pace, unbothered by what he said. “Incorrect! You lose a point for that one. The correct answer is—”, you stopped in front of Dream, “you make him reject the god, then when he’s alone, you attack.”

You took a seat on the chair from across Dream, holding yourself up with your arms as you leaned forward as if to taunt the man sitting in front of you. Speaking of, he hasn’t stopped glaring at you, and it made you giggle excitedly to yourself. Good, this is good, you were getting a reaction which meant you were breaking him.

You stretched your arms above your head with a stifled yawn, “I’ll kill him.”

That’s it? You mentioned the revive book earlier so you must know that he can just bring George back to life. To your threat, Dream scoffed, “I can just bring him back.”

You smiled knowingly, “I know. Which is why I’ll just have to drag it out, I’ll kill him so painfully slow, then when he goes you’ll just bring him back. Then we repeat until you give up.”

Dream felt as if his world stopped. His best friend, dying by the hands of someone he used to admire, to cherish? He tried to respond, to deny, to say something. But he couldn’t, and all that would leave his lips were stutters that made you smile.

You crouched in front of him again, and this time his heart skipped a beat. Out of fear? He wasn’t sure, but he felt like something akin to an animal who’s been cornered with nothing to lose.

“I can just see it, Dream. You sitting right where you are, watching me hurt our little Georgie. He’ll start to beg me. Beg me to stop, to just kill him and end it. But, I won’t. And you won’t stop bringing him back, either.”

You took your hand and brought it up to Dream’s hair, the first time you’ve touched him since you entered the prison. You brought his head up so he was looking up at you, giving him the perfect view of your face.

“Then eventually, Dream, he’ll stop begging me.” You gripped his hair a bit tighter, “and he’ll start begging you. To make it stop, for you to stop bringing him back so he doesn’t have to go through all that pain anymore. I wonder, Dream, if you’ll be able to do that.”

For the first time, you could see Dream’s eyes well up with tears, making you giddy with power.

“Please, don’t.” He whispered, the shake in his voice prominent as he tried to hold back sobs.

You leaned in close to his ears, and you noticed he’s shaking. “So, what will it be, Dream?”

[crystal-methionine]

The Post-Eurovision ranking and comments from an American that nobody asked for:

1. Switzerland 🇨🇭 Gjon’s Tears - Tout l’univers: I absolutely was enamored by this song, its artistry, and the artist. He can really sing and one of my early favorites from this year. So happy for him to get in the top 3 bc it was well deserved. 100/10

2. Italy 🇮🇹 Måneskin - Zitti e Buoni: Deserved winners. As queer as you can get and I am here for it. Another early favorite of mine constantly fighting with Switzerland for the top spot. 100/10

3. Iceland 🇮🇸 Dadi og Gagnamagnid - 10 Years: A beautiful song dedicated to his wife and deserved Top 5 for sure. Last year’s song would have won hands down so I’m bummed he couldn’t win the first one for Iceland but brilliant song and I hope the group stays together to produce more music. 99/10

4. Bulgaria 🇧🇬 Victoria - Growing Up Is Getting Old: Eurovision fandom will forever say Imaginary Friend or Ugly Cry was the better song to send, but I don’t think they would have won the contest either. This year was strong, and I personally think Growing Up was a perfect choice from Victoria. It deserved top 10 so I was pissed that it came 11th on the night and received so few televotes. 97/10

5. Ukraine 🇺🇦 Go_A - SHUM: To all y’all who said this wouldn’t qualify when the new version came out, eat those words hun. This was a masterpiece, and the live performances just elevated it further. Honestly, Kateryna could step on me, and I would let her. Who doesn’t love an ethnic modern fusion rave? 95/10

6. Serbia 🇷🇸 Hurricane - Loco Loco: I honestly have to say when it came out, it was never breaking my top 20, but here we are. This group of gals is amazing. The choreo, hairography, and the still great vocals won my gay ass over. They served and deserved top 10 in my eye. 90/10

7. Greece 🇬🇷 Stefania - Last Dance: Much like Serbia, I kinda dismissed this as a top 10 song at first, but after many listens and then the live shows, it was one of the best songs this year. Last year’s song was nowhere near a qualifier for me, and then I thought they had a good chance of being top 5 this year. Amazing improvement and can’t wait to see what comes next from Stefania. 80/10

8. Malta 🇲🇹 Destiny - Je me casse: Not going to lie, the studio definitely did more for me. It was up with Italy and Switzerland for winner contention until the live shows. Don’t get me wrong, Destiny is still amazing live, and the song is a deserved top 5 song. However, the costume and staging just really didn’t add to the song and I think detracted a bit. Her song last year was also much better in my opinion. 75/10

9. San Marino 🇸🇲 Senhit ft Flo Rida - Adrenalina: Oh boy this was a party, and the fact Flo Rida actually was there made it even better. The staging and costuming was absolutely camp, and I was here for it. This was definitely not underrated by fans beforehand, but the jury and televote were beyond robberies in my opinion. Granted I know the backing vocals were carrying the chorus a lot so in terms of vocals, I can see where this song got dinged, but this should have been San Marino’s best ever result at Eurovision, and it wasn’t so I’m mad. 60/10

10. France 🇫🇷 Barbara Pravi - Voila: The new Edith Piaf and probably one of the most representative of the country’s culture for a song. A definite deserved runner up on the night but for me 10th place. I loved the staging, the costume, the emotions. It was all right for Eurovision and me. 50/10

11. Cyprus 🇨🇾 Elena Tsingarou - El Diablo: Come through Cyprus with another female pop banger. I’d say if the formula ain’t broke don’t fix it, but wasn’t really enough to crack top 10 this year. Another early favorite of mine this year but soon got eclipsed. Still going to be listening to El Diablo for a while. 49/10

12. Russia 🇷🇺 Manizha - Russian Woman: I can’t lie that at first, this song was absolutely trash to me but quickly rose the ranks and became one of my faves. Same thing happened last year with Uno. We also always love a good female empowerment moment with the native language thrown in. Manizha is a girlboss without the gaslighting and a true queen. Deserved top 10 the night of. 40/10

13. Lithuania 🇱🇹 The Roop - Discoteque: An earworm for first listen and was top 10 for a while for me but like Cyprus, lost out to some others. No doubt this is a deserved top 10 the night of. 35/10

14. Croatia 🇭🇷 Albina - Tick Tock: The first song to get me pressed on it’s placement. Deserved to be in the final over both Israel and Norway (please come for me I don’t care). They freakin rocked that stage during the semis and the song is absolutely a bop. Albina deserved better. 30/10

15. Sweden 🇸🇪 Tusse - Voices: A beautiful song by an amazing artist. Sure the lyrics were a bit cliche Eurovision but guess what...it’s Eurovision. I can hear the voices. Keep carrying on Tusse. 25/10

16. Albania 🇦🇱 Anxehla Peristeri - Karma: This song grew on me a lot. I liked it but wasn’t a don’t skip for a while on my playlist. The live performance changed it for me. She slayed and the staging was everything for Miss Thing. Also native language brownie points. 24/10

17. Finland 🇫🇮 Blind Channel - Darkside: Before you come for me for having this at 17th, keep reading. I’m not a big fan of the lyrics but the song is absolutely fantastic. This style of music isn’t something I pull out on a playlist often, but I had my middle fingers up for this one (and pointed at Germany but we’ll discuss later). Deserved top 10 as they rocked it on stage. 20/10

18. The Netherlands 🇳🇱 Jeangu Macrooy - Birth of a New Age: I absolutely do not understand the hate for this song. I was also a huge fan of Grow last year so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised for being generally alone again. The fact it got 0 points in the televote and only 11 in the jury is not surprising but extremely disappointing to me. This song is a masterpiece much like the ones ranked above it. Jeangu, you are amazing and deserved so much better than this. 20/10

19. Belgium 🇧🇪 Hooverphonic - The Wrong Place: Fantastic song but fantastic artists. Always here for a dark pop moment. Gonna go get my own Johnny Cash T-shirt. 15/10

20. Spain 🇪🇸 Blas Cantó - Voy a Quedarme: Such a heartfelt ballad. I enjoyed it quite a bit and don’t understand the hate it has. Didn’t deserve 0 points in the televote. 14/10

21. Denmark 🇩🇰 Fyr og Flamme - Øve Os På Hinanden: Look we all know this song is cheesy but it’s the cheesiest Velveeta queso loco so it’s ranked so high in my opinion. This is a nod to the whacky and weird Eurovision I love. It’s always in my head and I always find myself dancing along. Deserved to be in the final over two of the songs in Semi 2. 13/10

22. Azerbaijan 🇦🇿 Efendi - Mata Hari: As far as the song goes, it’s enjoyable, but the stage show was a hot mess in my opinion. The choreo looked a mess and the different sheer legging configurations on the backup dancers was not the correct fashion choice in my opinion as I was distracted by the thought of why are they all different. Did deserve their spot in the final though. 12/10

23. Moldova 🇲🇩 Natalia Gordienko - Sugar: The studio version of this song is a heavily replayed one on my playlist bc of the drop and dance-ability of the song. However the downfall of the song was it’s live performance. The staging was fine and the choreo was great but those attempted sexy whisper vocals were not the choice to go with. I don’t want to sugar-coat this 😝 so they were terrible. Glad she made it but I felt her position in the final was one of just pure luck. 11/10

24. UK 🇬🇧 James Newman - Embers: The nul points was a huge ass oof. This song isn’t bad but I can see where people didn’t vote for it bc it’s not super memorable in terms of who all was participating this year. I like the song and always sing and dance along. 10/10

25. Israel 🇮🇱 Eden Alene - Set Me Free: This is how to do a revamp and be successful. Eden is a fantastic artist who can clearly sing, but the live performance was not all that sans the whistle tones. Yet the whistle tones aside, the song is lacking a lot. When looking back at the songs available, this one should not have been the selected one. I was always on the fence with this one and still am. 9.5/10

26. Czechia 🇨🇿 Benny Cristo - Omaga: The live definitely hurt this song in the first minute and a half. The second half was absolutely what should have happened in terms of vocals. Still like the song and listen to it often. 9.25/10

27. Ireland 🇮🇪 Leslie Roy - Maps: This song was a victim of a super strong bloodbath and shoddy staging ideas. The song is arresting and a bop. Leslie’s gruff voice mixed with the modernized Irish sounds is a match made. The staging of this song that required Leslie to run along with the beat and the distracting and constantly changing bits of the performance we’re definitely it’s downfall. It didn’t deserve last place in Semi 1 though. 9.25/10

28. Portugal 🇵🇹 The Black Mamba - Love Is On My Side: I am the first to admit that while I don’t like the song, it deserved the final. The staging and atmosphere elevated the song. 9/10

29. Austria 🇦🇹 Vincent Bueno - Amen: In the battle of the Amens, this one wins solely based on the classy and amazing staging. Don’t get me wrong, Slovenia’s was also elevating but this one did it better. 8.5/10

30. Australia 🇦🇺 Montaigne - Technicolor: This song is a fantastic one for studio. The live since the Sydney Mardi Gras performance has been rough and didn’t necessarily improve. I feel bad bc I do really love this song but it definitely didn’t deserve to qualify. This being said, I love Montaigne, and Don’t Break Me was my runner up last year, and I still listen to it as my anthem when I’m feeling down. I wish I could rank this higher but I can’t. 8.5/10

31. Romania 🇷🇴 Roxen - Amnesia: This song is great in the studio but it got old real fast for me and I don’t know why. This mixed with the poor vocals and the bizarre costume:stage combo was really what did this in and got this low in my ranking. 8.25/10

32. Slovenia 🇸🇮 Ana Soklic - Amen: The loser of the Amen battle, but just barely. The song and vocals are better in my opinion but the whole package was just barely edged out in the end. 8/10

33. Latvia 🇱🇻 Samanta Tīna - Moon Is Rising: Look, this song is nowhere near as good as last years. The queeeeeen sashayed away with that annoying trap beat. 8/10

34. North Macedonia 🇲🇰 Vasil - Here I Stand: Leave it to the gays for bringing musical theatre to Eurovision. The song honestly isn’t that special or memorable but he’s higher up bc his stage and voice are amazing. 7/10

35. Norway 🇳🇴 Tix - Fallen Angel: A great message on mental health outside of the song and Tix seems like a quality fella but I do not like the song. I preferred it in Norwegian. And this low ranking is not at all influenced over him beating out Keiino (but maybe a slight bit tho). 5/10

36. Estonia 🇪🇪 Uku Suviste - The Lucky One: While this was 1000% better than last years entry, it still was relatively boring. The stage was equally as boring so sorry Estonia, but you didn’t make the mark. 4.5/10

37. Poland 🇵🇱 Rafael - The Ride: This throwback to the 80s was a bad one. The attempt at a one hit wonder vibe really hurt it along with the artist’s terrible vocals. Also half the time, he was behind the pyro and relying on backup vocals. 4/10

38. Georgia 🇬🇪 Tornike Kipiani - You: You really should not have to wait so long for the more upbeat rock ending of this. If it was that last 30 seconds for 3 minutes, it would be much better. A definite step back from last year. 1/10

39. Germany 🇩🇪 Jendrick - I Don’t Feel Hate: Jendrick might not feel hate but I do bc that is all I feel when this song comes on. 0.5/10

[ts-unpopular-opinions]

Side Track Opinions part 5: Roman

(I’ve been saving Roman for a while now and I am PUMPED! So here’s a late birthday present to our royal lad ❤️ It’s also super nice to save the creativitwins for last because both of their playlists reference each other quite a bit 👌)

1) A Gay Disney Prince: I mean... are any of us surprised? This song is basically Roman’s anthem, so it was bound to be on his playlist. I do find it interesting that both Roman and Remus are the only sides with songs made by Thomas on their playlists. I guess it goes to show that having a big ego runs in the creative family 😂

2) Wonderboy: Only two songs in and we already have a song about Remus, or “young Nastyman, archrival and nemesis of Wonderboy” in this case. You’ll start to get the idea from Roman’s playlist that he really misses being with his bro. This song portrays Roman as almost a perfect and untouchable force. He is seperated from all of his nasty thoughts and is the perfect embodiment of what Thomas sees creativity as (“High above the mucky-muck, castle made of clouds, There sits Wonderboy, sitting oh so proudly. Not much to say when you're high above the mucky-muck.”). I like to imagine that the singer of the song is Thomas, looking to Roman for comfort. Creativity most likely split as a way for Thomas to, not very healthily, cope with his intrusive thoughts (“Wonderboy, what is the secret of your power? Wonderboy, won't you take me far away from the mucky-muck man?”). It’s also interesting to note that at the end of the song, Roman and Remus seemingly join forces very successfully (“Well, Wonderboy and Young Nastyman joined forces; they formed a band the likes of which have never been seen”). Perhaps this is hinting at either Romans want to have his bother back, or possibly foreshadowing to their relationship dynamic in the future. I know I’d love to see Roman and Remus team up together in future episodes, maybe even against Patton and Janus in the next episode?

3) Disney Princess: This song is all about Roman dreaming about being in the lives of different disney princesses. Honestly it’s not super deep, but it does show just how much Roman loves to fantasize about escaping reality and living in his ideal dream world. He wishes his life were more interesting and exciting like what you would see in a movie. Also, Roman is SO desperate for someone to love him... poor guy (“I'd be a handsome man's wife And we'd kiss and we'd kiss And we'd kiss”).

4) Broadway, Here I Come!: (tw suicide) So this song is... interesting. It can be interpreted in two different ways: one being a song about how making it on broadway is a huge leap and very difficult, and another about a person literally jumping off of a building and commiting suicide. I always think of Logic vs Passion during this song because while Roman believes he is acchieving his dreams and is willing to take risks, Logan just believes he’s setting himself up for failure. I think Logan’s view on Thomas’ life and career choice is very hard on Roman and, by the topic of the song, affects him greatly (“The people all are pointing. I bet they'd never guess, That the saint that they're anointing Is frightened of the mess”). He doesn’t know if Thomas will succeed and that makes him doubt himself and causes his work to suffer (“The pressure it increases, The closer that I get” “And the last thing I hear. As the impact grows near, Is it a scream or a cheer?”).

5) Hallelujah: This song, like the one before it, shows a lot of Roman’s insecurities. Roman has a set plan for Thomas in life, but he constantly doubts it and himself due to the comments he gets from other sides (“Somedays I don't think my mama Thinks I'm good enough to be a superstar” “Somedays I don't think my daddy Thinks I'm good enough to be a superstar”). I don’t know specifically which sides he could be talking about in these two lines, but Logan is definately one of them. I like to think he could also be talking about Patton. I mean Roman probably worries constantly about being too much like Remus and disappointing Patton. Roman probably literally thinks that Patton doesnt think hes GOOD enough. Despite all of this self doubt, Roman still seems determined to reach his dreams and prove the others wrong (“But one day I will show him I'm a diamond in the rough, I'll be a superstar” “Yeah, there's a crown covered in glitter and gold I'm gonna wear it, whether you like it or not”).

6) Holding Out for a Hero: This song is from Thomas’ perspective! Thomas DOES see Roman as his hero despite what Janus’ not at the end of the most recent episode may have you believe. Roman acts as Thomas’ protection from all of his darker and more disturbing thoughts. Thomas uses Roman, a picture perfect image of creativity to help him escape from all the bad things in life and in his head (“Where have all the good men gone And where are all the gods? Where's the streetwise Hercules to fight the rising odds? Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed? Late at night I toss and I turn And I dream of what I need”). Thomas literally created Roman to be a perfect knight in shining armor. The singer in the song shows this by listing off everything that they believe a hero needs to be/have, Similar to what Thomas would have done in the creation of Roman.

7) If I Dare: I’m conflicted about what this song could mean. At first glance it seems to be about Roman willing to do anything in order to get more creative control over Thomas (“If I dare to risk it, then I know that I'm willing to. If I dare to want this, to want more than I have” “I am holding out for more than what I have now”). Roman really wants to be trusted more and would seemingly take huge risks in order to get that. The part that throws me off is this line: “When the room gets dark, and I am quiet. There's a voice that's soft, like someone's silhouette Saying, "Don't let me go yet"”. To me, this sounds like its about Remus. Possibly Remus begging Roman to not get rid of him and to remain as one. What confuses me is that the line felt so out of place with the rest of the songs meaning. I’m not sure what to do with that information, but if anyone has ideas, let me know.

8) Go the Distance: Roman is so patient... and so unrealistically hopeful... He continues to lay down and let the other sides get their ways because he believes that the wait will be worth it when he finally gets his say (“I'll be there someday, I can go the distance” “I know every mile would be worth my while” “And a thousand years would be worth the wait. It might take a lifetime but somehow I'll see it through”). Despite how many times hes been ignored and let down, he continues to hope that his chance may come one day. Theres also this line: “But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part. For a hero's strength is measured by his heart, oh” which makes me think big time of SvS. He gave up his glory in favor of what Patton wanted because he thinks that it was the more heroic thing to do.

9) Flamboyant: The title really says it all. Roman is extra™️ and he knows that all of the other sides think so too (“I'm a very flaming flammable guy. Some say my fire burns way too high. Some say they find me too hot to touch. But I, I think it's not enough”). I also think its important to note that this song feels a bit out if place with the canon Roman that we know. From what we’ve seen of Roman, he holds back a lot. He denies a great deal of his greed and wants in order to make the others happy and fill in his “hero” persona. This song portrays Roman as having no restraint and not wanting the others to boss him around (“Don't tell me what to do, Don't tell me what to say” “Turn down? I never do” “And no time for restraint”). I’d love to see more of this assertive side of Roman in canon, but right now you can tell that he is holding back. He wishes he didn’t have to, but he feels as though it is necessary to distance himself from Remus.

10) Jumpstarted: Let me set the scene. Thomas is just out an about enjoying his day, he holds open the starbucks door for the guy behind him and... omg... he’s hot... he’s the love of your life Thomas! Roman the proceeds to fanticize about marrying and starting a family with this one random guy that they’ve never talked to nor seen before (“The only one I want is you. I hear the bells and the ring and already, Four kids and the big ol' wedding Singing, You” “And how was I to make a long walk home. You got me feeling like I'm overdosed”). This whole song is just Roman singing about his head-over heals love for a guy in Thomas’ head while Thomas has to act normal and even warns the dude to run away while he has the chance (“Take my advice and run while you still can”). Roman’s quite a hopeless romantic.

11) Brave New Girl: Remember how I said Roman has been holding back and trying to be more polite in order to make himself less like Remus? Well this song is the opposite of that. This is what Roman wants. Roman wants to let lose and be his wildest self again (“She wants a good time” “She needs to really really find what she wants” “There's a brave new girl And she's comin' out tonight” “Who knew she could feel so alive” “Won't take a back seat”). I like to imagine this song taking place after the events of POF. I mean if the others are just going to accept that Janus is good now, then does that mean Remus is good too? If that the case, then what was the point of him and Remus splitting in the first place? This song makes me think that Roman and Remus could team up together in either the next episode, or future episodes to come. Roman is lost and doesn’t really know why he is who he is anymore, so he seeks out Remus, the only one who really understands what he’s going through (“So she met this man, He was kinda rough. He said, girl, what you lookin' for? She said, I don't know I go with the flow. He said, let's get on the floor”). The man in this song could also be Janus I suppose. He does compliment the singer and flatter her, but after the events of the last episode, I find it hard to believe that Roman would be willing to fall for Janus’ flattery again.

12) Every Boy: Roman wants to kiss every boy in the world... and it’s never enough. That is all.

13) Primadonna: What a bop! This song is honestly so good! Again with Roman’s songs making him out to be a lot greedier and wild than he actually has acted in canon (“You can count on me to misbehave”). This song is what I imagine Roman would act like if he had nothing to worry about other than being himself. Roman wants a lot of things and he wants everyone to adore him for the beautiful prince he is (“All I ever wanted was the world” “I can't help that I need it all” “When you give, I want more, more, more” “I wanna be adored” “I know I've got a big ego”).

14) King: You can already tell by the name what this song is about. I’m honestly shocked how obvious it is. At this point we don’t know who made the decision for creativity to split, but this song and a couple of others in the playlist seem to suggest that it was the Roman part of original creativity who decided to push Remus out. He felt as though it was the only way to successfully move forward (“I had to break myself to carry on”). The others sides (I’d like to imagine Patton) tried to convince Creativity to split and despite his not wanting to. His decision to split seemed like it was a very hard one to make and left a lot of pain in its wake (“They say it's easy to leave you behind. I don't want to try” “Is it worth the price?”). Original creativity felt powerful and strong when he was whole, so of course he didn’t want to split (“I was a king under your control”). The song seems to suggest that he tried to repress his ‘Remus’ thoughts in order to remain whole and not lose a part of himself, but this could only work for so long (“Don't wanna have to lose All that I've compromised to feel another high. I've got to keep it down tonight”). In the end, the Roman side of creativity finally won out and both Roman and Remus decided to let each other go (“I wanna feel like you've let me go, So let me go”).

15) Cheap Queen: This song really shows Roman’s struggle with his identity. He’s so quick to change for others in order to be accepted by them (“I can be good sometimes. I'm a cheap queen. I can be a what you like. And I can be bad sometimes. I'm a real queen. I can make grown men cry” “I'm gettin' too cocky since everyone wants me, It's harder to be myself”). This convices me that the way that he’s been acting in the last few episodes (not insulting anyone, very opposed to Janus) is soley him trying to prove that he is good and nothing like Remus. He’s been hiding his true self which we see a lot of in episodes before Remus was introduced. Roman doesn’t want to disappoint Patton in fear of Patton wanting him to split again.

16) Humility: ANOTHER song about Remus. This song is really interesting. It shows us that Roman is VERY confused about his opinion on Remus. He’s lonely and feels incomplete without Remus, He NEEDS Remus back (“I need you in the picture That's why I'm calling you” “I'm the lonely twin, the left hand” “I don't want this isolation” “See the state I'm in now?”). Right after Roman has these thoughts and feelings though, he instantly tries to block them out and retrain the idea that Remus is bad (“Reset myself and get back on track”). He wants Remus back so badly and feels some sort of remorse for kicking him out, but then he ignores those emotions and acts like he hates Remus another moment (“If I pick it up when I know that it's broken Do I put it back? Or do I head out onto the lonesome trail And let you down?”).

17) Aint Got it Like That: Roman is greedy and wants a lot of things, we’ve established this. Most of this song is about how Roman wants more than what he has now, but he still believes it will come if he just waits long enough (“'Cause I ain't really got it like that And one day Imma have it like that And I know that it can't stay this way And one day Imma finally get paid”).

18) Dreamer: I’m not sure whose perspective this song is from, but this feels like a comfort song to Roman. We know that he has a lot of insecurities and struggles to create things because he worries that his ideas won’t be good enough or will be too much like Remus’ ideas. But this song goes completely against that mindset. It’s what Roman wants to hear: “Dream little dreamer, Don't care what they say” “You can do anything” “Dream like you won't fail. Sing like no one's there. Dance like you don't care. Dream.” “Don't fear little dreamer, You'll get there one day” “And I know that it's scary, But you'll succeed” “You're exeptional, You're original” “You're magnificent, You're sensational”.

19) Paving the Runway: This feels like a song from Roman to Thomas and gosh it just feels so loving and sweet... Roman has such big dreams for Thomas and he has so much faith in him (“Cause I know that one day you're gonna fly”). He encourages Thomas to go for his dreams and excel, something that he is hardly told himself (“Go after your dreams, Crazy as they may seem. Go chase all the stars in the sky” “You will reach higher than I ever could”). Roman does everythig he can to set Thomas up for success and to help him reach his dreams (“Darling, stand on my shoulders” “Baby, I'll be paving the runway”).

20) Go.: Again, I’m not sure who the singer of this song is, but I can tell its exactly what Roman wants/needs to hear. Roman is very clearly holding back due to his fear of becoming too much like Remus and that is making it very hard to do his job (“The fear within Has held you hostage. Break free and live. GO.”). This is a good song to be Roman’s last song because I think it helps to show us where Roman’s character is going in the future. He is going to let lose and relax eventually. Perhaps this will lead to him creating the better relationship with Remus that he’s been hoping for throughout this whole playlist. I predict that next episode, well start to see some of this newer, less refrained creativity from Roman.

(And that’s that! If you can tell that theres some tension between Roman and Remus from this playlist, just you wait for Remus’! As usual, let me know what you thought of this ❤️ Love you guys!)

[grimelords]

So since the last time I posted one of these the entire world has changed dramatically and hopefully 4 hours of music will tide you over in quarantine for a bit longer. Strangely I’ve been busier than ever, and what started as a personal challenge to listen to a new album every day in February turned into me listening to 116 new albums in March and 124 in April. I’ve got a stacked google doc full of star ratings and dates now and it’s really been a lot of fun, I highly recommend trying it yourself. This is my March playlist, because I accidentally took a month off, and I’m thinking of either switching these playlists to weekly to make them a little more digestible or just dropping them whenever. Who knows. Let me know what you think and drop album recommendations in the comments please.

Listen here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

If you’d like to receive these playlists in a more digestible email format, please subscribe to my tinyletter here: http://tinyletter.com/grimelords

On A Slow Boat To China - Bing Crosby & Peggy Lee: Ok first off it’s amazing this song isn’t more racist. I don't remember now how or why I came across this. I think I was just thinking about crooners and how as a genre it's now existed in common popularity as a nostalgic idyll of a mytholigised past far longer than it was ever actually popular which is interesting. The origin of this song, according to wikipedia, is also one of the most 40s ideas I've ever read: "I'd like to get you on a slow boat to China" was a well-known phrase among poker players, referring to a person who lost steadily and handsomely. The idea being that a "slow boat to China" was the longest trip one could imagine. Loesser moved the phrase to a more romantic setting, yet it eventually entered general parlance to mean anything that takes an extremely long time".

Fight Night - Migos: I saw that Offset had some new show on Quibi the extremely fake sounding streaming service and I thought "how did Migos get so world conqueringly large that they get to make 10 minute shows nobody will watch for a $2 billion venture capital funded app that will never make any money?" They seem to have this massive reputation without having much to back it up. The last thing I remember everyone talking about was how Culure II was two hours long in order to game streaming numbers and was simply not good. They seemed to have sort of settled into making background music for scrolling instagram. But then I remembered Fight Night and I thought: "oh wait, that's right, Migos are fucking great". Where their other big hits like Bad And Boujee and Walk It Talk It have this sort of laid back vibe where they've comfortably nailed the formula and relax onto it, Fight Night commands your attention. StackboyTwan killed the beat - it has this propulsive momentum where it feels like it's constantly ramping up, moving up from the sidesick and bassline in the verse, up to the claps on the beat, and the big gang chants on the offbeat once the full instrumentation kicks in - then it just goes around and around and around with the constant bassline the whole tim. It's a perfect all-rise production because it never actually explodes, it's all building tension held down by an unchanging bassline.

Do It Puritan! - El Hombre Trajeado & Sue Tompkins: I am extremely delighted to announce that Sue Tompkins of one of my all time favourite single album bands Life Without Buildings has broken a nearly 20 year musical hiatus to appear on this song by El Hombre Trajeado. It is so nice to hear how her voice has changed and her approach has stayed the same. Her style is so unique and so good and I don't think I'll ever get tired of it.

5 8 6 - New Order: Before 'the incident' I had tickets to see New Order at the end of March and so I embarked on a big listen through of their discography, which has now unfortunately made it feel even worse that live music is cancelled indefinitely.

Oom Sha La La - Haley Heynderickx: First of all I love songs where they talking about how they're writing a song halfway through. And I love songs that seem like a pretty normal singer songwriter indie thing where someone just starts screaming near the end. I love this song. A great staring at the wall and absolutely losing your mind because you haven't done anything with your whole life anthem.

Elektrobank - The Chemical Brothers: Can you believe I've never listening to a full Chemical Brothers album before this month? Can you believe big beat ever went our of style? It feels insane that we ever swapped this sort of energy for the beige algorithm of EDM. I think there's a real triumph in this album, and in this track especially of replicating the live feeling in studio. Giving it this much space to grow and change and get very hairy near the end is amazing, it feels like it was just recorded live.

My Mind's A Ship (That's Going Down) - Katie Pruitt: It feels very rare to me that this sort of extremely smooth Nashville prduction actually makes a song better. It has a habit of strangling the life out of a song and making it blend into a boring paste of soundalikes, but with Katie Pruitt it works amazingly. Her songwriting is so distinct and clear and her voice, especially near the end where it punches hole in the sky, is so strong and so her own that it doesn't need anything else.

Water - Ohmme: "What if Tegan And Sara were a noise band instead?" is a question I didn't know I needed an answer to. I love any band that has the guts to write songs like this that sound like pop from an alternate history, so off kilter and odd and noisy but with this undeniable pop heart that the duo vocals make sound like schoolyard clapping chants remixed by Lightning Bolt.

Lions, Tigers and Bears - SLIFT: A friend put me on to Slift and described them as French King Gizz and really, I'm inclined to agree. This is the traditional long last song at the end of their new album, and as usual I am advocating that every song should be the long last song at the end of the album. I love this style of jam where everyone else goes to space but the rhythm section just digs in and works hard as fuck for ten minutes. Then the whole last 3 minutes of the song are just fat drone riffs. This song's got everything.

The Pines - 070 Shake: This 070 Shake album is unbeleivably good and it warms my heart to see the dark energy of The Pines live on through another century in yet another permutation. I have more to say about it later in the Jackson C Frank version coming up but it feels like this 070 Shake album kind of came and went but I implore you to listen, it’s an aoty contender for sure.

Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On - Funkadelic: If you can stop thinking about the intro, which I certainly can’t (Hey lady won’t you be my dog and I’ll be your tree and you can pee on me.) there is so much goodness in this song. For a while now I’ve been thinking about how, for lack of a better word, ‘positive’ music is consistently underrated in the critical canon. Dance music, disco and funk especially are derided as empty sugar music, while every cookie cutter metal band absolutely demands to be taken seriously. In dance music this manifests as genres like tech house sucking all the fun and individuality out of music until it’s just an endless parade of producers working to a schematic of the barest essentials. It feels like you can’t have fun and be taken seriously at the same time, which feels like an obvious contradiction but shouldn’t be!

Spoils - Dry Cleaning: Dry Cleaning are my Lock Of The Month Band To Watch In The Future Because They’re Gonna Go Off. They have such a great sound and I’m desperate for an album because I just need more. This song absolutely knocked me down when I first heard it. I love any band where it sounds like the singer has just wandered in while the rest of them were rehearsing. There’s a very good talking-songs movement happening in the UK right now between these guys, Do Nothing and Fontaines D.C and i’m excited to see where it progresses. I might put together a playlist a little later to show you what I mean.

As - Stevie Wonder: I finally listened to Songs In The Key Of Life this month, which is an experience I would recommend to everyone. This shit goes for 21 songs over 105 minutes and absolute bangs the whole way. The original release of this album was a double LP plus a 7", which is yet another reason I am grateful for streaming that I don't have to buy a damn box set to hear this thing.

Sleep Now In The Fire - Rage Against The Machine: I am working on a very niche playlist called Songs Where The Guitar Amp Accidentally Picks Up A Nearby Radio Station For A Couple Of Seconds and it's only 3 songs so far. A Man A Plan A Canal Panama by The Fall Of Troy, Melody 4 by Tera Melos and Sleep Now In The Fire by Rage Against The Machine. In every single one of those songs it feels like a critical component even though it's just an accident that's been left in because it sounds good. Here it's the perfect ending as the rage dies down and the commercial world fades back in. Anyway, my other question about this song is about the great Michael Moore directed video where they famously shut down Wall Street for an afternoon. There's a shot of a guy for a second holding a sign that says Donald Trump For President in 1999. Which is odd but not out of the question, he's been famous for a long time and there's always been freaks. My question is why the fuck did he have that sign that day? Was he amongst the Rage Against The Machine Fans that showed up? A counter protestor? Was he, perhaps most chillingly of all, just walking idly around Wall Street with his Donald Trump For President sign like usual and stumbled upon this whole hoo-haa accidentally?

Applause (Purity Ring Remix) - Lady Gaga: Did you fucking know that Purity Ring did a remix of Applause? If there’s something I’d love to know more about and it’s Purity Ring’s forays into pop production. After their first album they did some production for rappers like Danny Brown in the great track 25 Bucks, which is a good fit really - their sound is witch house with the tempo pushed back up, witch house of course just being chopped and screwed reinvented by tumblr users. So it’s a natural fit to take that new perspective back into the world of hip hop. They also did this fantastic remix of Applause after their first album. Then, after their second album they produced 3 songs for Katy Perry’s Witness album, and one Katy Perry song for a Final Fantasy mobile game soundtrack (?) and feel like the long silence and delay between their second and third albums is because of more behind the scenes pop production work - but if that’s true, where is it? Is it, as I suspect, part of my own personal Pepe Silvia, Katy Perry’s scrapped 2019 album that has vanished into thin air? Or is it part of Chromatica? I think Purity Ring have solidified an interesting place in pop, paving the way for Billie Eilish and Kim Petras’ dark anti-pop and so i’m excited to see where they go after this new album now that they’re the architects of the new wave.

React/Revolt - Drahla: The smartest thing you can do is add a saxophone to your band. The whole first half of this song could go for 20 minutes of growling screaming saxophone post-punk and I wouldn't mind. Then when the second half of the song kicks in it's fantastic in the way this whole Drahla album is: it's tight and sprawling post-punk at the same time with a complicated structure that seems to just pile onto itself instead of ever circling back.

And I Was Like - Porridge Radio: I'm seemingly having a real thing this month for songs that open with a bizzare acapella chant. Between this and the Funkadelic one it's a genre I'm very interested in hearing more of. Isaac Newton was a virgin and it's important to recognise that. The thing I love about this song is how it's in 3 distinc sections: Isaac Newton was a virgin, she's a birthday girl in a birthday world, and mum no please it's grunge, and they all feel like the concentrated energy of a 14 year old's thoughts. She sounds like she's almost crying when she sings 'she's a birthday girl in a birthday world'. The concentrated confusing teenaged energy of this song is just overwhelming.

Dirty Mattresses - Mama's Broke: So much of contemporary 'traditional folk' either exists as pure nostalgia music or as music that's trying too hard to be 'authentic' and evoke a mythology of a bygone time, but Mama's Broke manage to make it feel new and modern but honest and  authentic at the same time. The super close harmonies and modern approach remind me of House And Land who I also love, but the songwriting is in another class entirely.

Building A House - CHOPCHOP: I don't know if you've ever seen Bad Boy Bubby but CHOPCHOP feels a little like the band that he ends up joining at the end. A musical ensemble built to enable the will of a very strange man. I think the band is from the UK and I'm not sure where the singer is from, but he has this incredible deeply accented voice that brings such a gravity to everything he sings in the way that anyone speaking english as a second language accidentally brings new weight to common turns of phrase.

Universal Soldier - Jay Electronica: It feels fitting, looking back, that Jay Electronica finally released his album right before the world ended. It was literally now or never. Some how Jay-Z is the breakout star of this album for me. He's got some of his best verses in years on here and he's a great opposition to Electronica's flow when they trade verses. I would also, as an aside, like to know the origin of the kids cheering sample throughout this, because it's the same one from AM//Radio by Earl Sweatshirt and Wish You Were Gay by Billie Eilish. So what's that about.

Sticky Hulks - Thee Oh Sees: I've been very slowly getting into Oh Sees and I love them a lot so far. Their unweildy, huge discography spread across a lot of variations of the same name makes digging into them very rewarding as well. There's a great line on their wiki detailing all the times they've changed their name that goes: Orinoka Crash Suite (1997–2003), OCS (2003–2005, 2017), Orange County Sound (2005), The Ohsees (2006), The Oh Sees (2006–2008), Thee Oh Sees (2008–2017), Oh Sees (2017–2019) Osees (2019) to give you some idea of what we're working with here. Basically it's just everything you could want from a pychedelic band like this: a history and discography as shaggy as the songs themselves.

Knife On The Platter - BODEGA: In reading about Bodega I learned that they don't have a drummer in the traditional sense. They have someone credited as a 'stand up percussionist', and in listening back I realised that's they key to the groove in their music. He's not playing a kit he's just slamming at a tom and a snare on a rack, while one of the singers plays hi-hat here and there. So all the drumming has this barebones caveman feel to it and I absolutely love it. The band feels a lot like The Fashion, and that whole mid-2000s dance-punk movement that I've been desparate to come back so naturally I love it a lot.

Against Gravity - Horse Lords: Horse Lords are one of the most incredible bands I've heard in a long time. Somewhere between a more analogue Battles and Laddio Bolocko, they make a kind of churning math-jazz that sounds like huge intersecting squares of rhythm slowly overlapping. It feels like there's an infinite depth in these songs, you can listen and focus on a single instrument and see it shifting in and out of place with everyone else, before you lose it again and it retreats back into the swirling mass.

Plain To See Plainsman - Colter Wall: I've been listening to this Colter Wall album a lot, and it's really beginning to rank among my all time favourites. I grew up around the flattest place in the southern hemisphere, so I love the plains and it's very nice to have a cowboy song I can relate to like that.

The Nail - Sarah Shook & The Disarmers: Sarah Shook has so much character in her voice I completely love it. She is also a fantastic songwriter that manages to make outlaw country punk that sounds authentic and doesn't have the rockabilly posturing that a lot of the genre suffers from.

Inner Reaches 慾望的暗角二 - Gong Gong Gong 工工工: The best thing about Gong Gong Gong is you can listen to this whole song before you realise they don't have a drummer. They're a guitar and bass duo that play and sing with such a layered rhythmic intensity between the two of them that they really don't need one. A drummer would just clutter the space already taken up by their ferocious rhythm.

Country Pie - Bob Dylan: I'm a big fan of Bob Dylan's dumb songs. He has a lot where if it's the first song you ever heard from him you would be mad at whoever told you he was the greatest songwriter to ever live for trying to trick you like this. What I especially love about this song is how abruptly it ends, like dad just came home and everyone panicked cause they're know they're not supposed to be staying up that late.

You Did It Yourself - Arthur Russell: It seems hard to believe that I've only just found out about Arthur Russel. He seems to be a mainstay of Music Guy lists and somehow I've only heard of him this month. I've been obsessing over the Iowa Dream album, which is a compilation of a lot of different (mostly extremely high quality) demos from the late 70s to mid 80s and what really shines through other than the singular strength of his songwriting is how readily and easily he bends from country style folk to romantic piano ballads, to groovy post-punk like this. What I love so much about this song is it's a great lesson in songwriting: sometimes a song can just be a vague review of a middling movie and still have emotional resonance. Incredible. There's a great NPR article about Arthur Russel and the process of assembling half-takes and demos into complete recordings that you should read if you're interested. https://www.npr.org/2019/11/20/779721417/which-arthur-russell-are-we-getting-on-iowa-dream

The Dogs Outside Are Barking - Arthur Russell: I love this song because it's such a perfect distillation of a teenaged moment: trying to find a moment alone with someone when you have no freedom at all to create one. The song cycles through potential situations but leaves the problem unresolved, existing in the moment of nervous romantic tension preceding an unasked question and it's just beautiful.

Men For Miles - Ought: I love the vocal melody in the verse here so much. Spiking up unnaturally at the end of the lines like a nervous and strange version of The Strokes. Even the way he cramps his words in in the chorus is so good, switching registers randomly like he's impersonating someone else.

Mister Soweto - Lizzy Mercier Descloux: https://pitchfork.com/features/from-the-pitchfork-review/9828-lizzy-mercier-descloux-behind-the-muse/ Pitchfork has a great article about Lizzy Mercier Descloux detailing how she is continually undervalued and underappreciated. I found her though my Discover Weekly and became immediately obsessed with this album - a perfect mix of off-kilter 80s bass and brass that is so colourful and seems to move in a million directions at once like the songs can't even catch up with themselves sometimes. I'm excited to dig into her discography more and try to understand her more because she has a truly unique approach that I can't get enough of.

Sweden - Marilyn Crispell: I've been looking for a while for other pianists of Cecil Taylor's calibre, rare type that it is and I am so glad to have finally found out about Marilyn Crispell. She plays free jazz like Taylor, but in much less percussive and disonnant style. There's a New York Times quote that seems to follow her that says "Hearing Marilyn Crispell play solo piano is like monitoring an active volcano. She is one of a very few pianists who rise to the challenge of free jazz." and it's really very apt. She will move with seemingly no warning at all from mediative, colourful stokes to a mad descent unto uncertainty and beyond, then back again without a moments hesitation. Her music moves like a dream, linking a stream of unlinked images with an ease that only seems incongruous on reflection.

Twins - Gem Club: I have loved this song for a very long time and I come back to it over and over and appreciate it anew. What I appreciate about on listening to it this time is the strangeness of it's structure, following up the verse with an instrumental break, and then a long instrumental intro to the chorus gives it so much space to spread out and breathe, giving the beautiful gravity of the song even more weight. Then after the chorus it moves straight to a bridge and then the intro and first verse again. It's a fantastic song that makes it's small parts so large, where another songwriter or another producer would pare them down.

Grand Central - Paul Cauthen: Something I've learned in listening to a lot of cowboy music is that the number one thing that cowboys hate and fear is getting hanged. They hate it worse than cats hate getting sprayed with water. I found out about Paul Cauthen combing through Colter Wall's similar artists looking for more of this brand of new old fashioned country and I really found it here. Paul Cauthen comes from four generations of preachers and left the church to pursue country music instead, which feels like an extremely old fashioned position to be in here in 2020 but I guess lots of people in Texas still live like that, and thank god they do or we wouldn't have Paul Cauthen's big mournful Elvis voice to sing us songs about the railway.

Serafina - BAMBARA: I love this sort of spoken word leather jacket rock and roll. It's so extremely Cool in an old fashioned way. Like a more rock and roll version of Enablers.

So 4 Real - The Hecks: I love love love this song that sounds like a sped up Prince demo. The strange thinness of the mix and the way the vocals are buried just makes it sound so strange and great, like it was put together on some ancient 4 track recorder that can't handle the pure energy of the song.

In The Pines (Version 2) - Jackson C. Frank: There's a very good 3 hour compilation of Jackson C. Frank recordings that came out a few years called Remastered And Unreleased that I listened through the other day. It's just magnificent. This version of In The Pines is one of my favourite I've ever heard, the mournful vocals coupled with his churning rhythm guitar really brings out the darkness of it in a way I've never heard.

(Tumble) In The Wind (Version 1) - Jackson C. Frank: Another favourite from this compilation that is slightly hard to listen to. I don't know if there's a date on it but I'd guess this was recorded near the end of his life. It is so beautiful, but you can hear in his voice and breathing that he's unwell. In Horseshoe Crabs by Hopalong she sings a story from his perspective this song really seems to fit in the second half of that. "Woke from the dream and I was old / Staring at the ass crack of dawn / Walked these streets up and down / Looking for Paul Simon / All I found was myself, lost in time / I tried singing my songs / But I lost my mind"

Sludge - Squid: I'm thinking of putting together a playlist of all the great Black Midi-adjacent bands I've found out about recently and Squid is at the top of the list. This new breed of art-punk is so fantastic and goes in a million different directions. I'm just so excited it exists.

Straight Shot - Quelle Chris: I love this song and Guns is a phenomenal album but there’s one thing bothering me. The ‘who are you, what are you’ part at the end sounds so incredibly familiar to me and I can’t figure out why. As far as I can tell it’s not a sample, but googling reveals that the english voice on it is fucking James Acaster the standup comedian. So what’s going on? Quelle Chris himself is less than helpful: “Straight Shot is one of those ideas that reached out to me, we got along and I simply showed it around town. The chorus, poem at the end and basic piano progression literally came to me in two separate dreams”. Who knows. Great song though.

Levitation - Dua Lipa: What I really like about this song is that she says sugarboo. This whole album bangs and Dua is really reaping the benefits of being the only pop star with the guts to release an album while everyone’s in lockdown I also have a half-baked theory about the way this song is almost interpolating Blame It On The Boogie in the ‘moonlight, starlight’ part as a sort of aggressive takeover of Michael Jackson’s cancelled legacy. Which is smart really. The same way Taylor Swift is re-recording her albums, let’s just get The Weeknd in the studio for a couple of days and give the world back it’s bangers.

Another Crashed Car - Nine Inch Nails: I am so glad Trent Reznor put out another two volumes of Ghosts. Ghosts I-IV from 2008 seems to have been the bridge from his Nine Inch Nails work to his film score work, and now that he’s had such success with that it’s nice to hear him writing in this style without telling anyone else’s story again. It’s also interesting for him to go back to this project now that Ghosts I-IV has paid dividends in the form of the sample at the centre of Old Town Road but that’s neither here nor there. It’s hard to pick and individual track from these, because they work so effectively as long form albums and not individual tracks, but I chose this one because I put the album on as background ambient while I was doing some boring data entry at work and this track is the point at which I realised I was going out of my mind with stress from doing the simplest tasks because of Trent’s Damned Chords.

Lilacs - Waxahatchee: This is a perfect song. It makes me want to like, draw charts about it and go through it bar by bar to figure out how she did it. It’s perfectly put together. It feels like she uses every trick in the book and it just comes together flawlessly in 3 minutes. Amazing.

Cool Water - Hank Williams: I decided to properly listen to Hank Williams because his shadow stretches over so much of country music, and while a lot of his music really alienated or bored me, and a lot of his songs feel like they would read as novelty songs today (like Hey Good Looking), this is the song that made me understand why he’s so revered.

In My Bones (feat. Kimbra and Tank And The Bangas) - Jacob Collier: Jacob Collier generally irks me. He makes brain music for redditors that lose their mind when someone shows them chord inversions or odd time signatures. Youtubers whose whole personality is ‘y’all heard Giant Steps?’ But he killed it on this song. It’s great despite him. There’s still a lot of corniness to work through, mostly in the big yuck funky lyrics, but structurally it’s a kaleidoscope and a big chunk of its success I’m putting down to Kimbra and Tank who understand that performance is a bigger part of a song than composition in a way Collier maybe doesn’t yet. He can overload the bassline and stop-start the rhythms as much as he likes but without actual personalities driving it it’ll just sound like a Peter Gabriel midi played at 200%.

Earthquake - Graham Central Station: I learned something wonderful in researching this band. The leader, Larry Graham, who was in Sly And The Family Stone is credited with inventing slap bass. He himself refers to the technique as "thumpin' and pluckin' ".

Quand Les Larmes D’un Ange Font Danser La Neige - Melody’s Echo Chamber: Once again furious that I’ve known of Melody’s Echo Chamber for years but never listened to them until now. I have been missing out. This is a perfect sprawling psychedelic jam punctuated with a bizzare cut-up recording about shitting yourself when you die and being declared brain dead in the vatican. It’s got everything. I had to look up who the drummer was on this song because he’s just nailing it, and it turns out it’s Johan Holmegaard from Dungen which is really a perfect fit.

Murder Most Foul - Bob Dylan: I was thinking the other day about how Bob Dylan is doing in quarantine. The man who hasn’t stopped moving his whole life and who’s been on a never ending tour  since the 70s is now, I assume, just pacing a hole in a hotel carpet somewhere and jabbering to himself. The strangest part of Bob dropping this 17 minute song about JFK out of nowhere is that he hasn’t put out any original music since 2012. So a gigantic song like this is an even bigger surprise. I, already a huge fan of gigantic songs and Bob Dylan, unsurprisingly love it. I love the slow stirring of the instrumentation, like he hired Dirty Three as a backing band and I love that nearly the entire second half is just listing good songs that he knows. It’s a remarkable song and unlike anything i’ve heard before from Dylan or anyone else. It’s interesting to hear Bob Dylan step into being the great chronicler of the 60s like he’s been told he already was his entire life almost 50 years later, finally accepting the fate foisted on him. The other thing I love about this song is the line when he for some reason praises Lee Harvey Oswald’s shooting “Greatest magic trick ever under the sun / Perfectly executed, skillfully done”

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0k1JjT8fXcUFO6VpM3kaez?si=gWSv88vdShKSnHhLJ_80pQ

[phantomas99]

The Land of Fairytales belongs to everyone

Greetings to everyone who reads this post. I am from a country called Hungary. In my country there was a scandal in connection with a a children’s book called “Fairytailland beongs to everyone” (Meseország Mindenkié), written by a gay hungarian author. The book was considered unorthodox and even inappropriate, because it featured the members of certain groups, such as LGBTQ+, people with disabilities, people with different bodytypes.

In one week, the book resulted in multiple outrages among certain groups, and many politicians. A politician called Dúró Dóra (who didn’t even bother to even read the book first) even resorted to the symbolic destruction of the book, by throwng it in the shredder in front of cameras, saying that “There is no place for the homosexual propaganda in our hungarian culture”. This was also followed by numerous protests against the publication of the book and its content, and the author also received severe criticism (though I can hardly call that criticism, I would call it written roadrage instead), and even threats, and accusations that the author wants to “corrupt children” with his “aberrated homosexual agenda”.

The politican, Dúró Dóra claimed that she as a mother, wants to protect children from what she labels as “abnormal”, and “pornographic”.

Now this is what I wish to get out of my chest: First of all:There is nothing to “protect” your children from. The fact that homosexuality is not unnatural, not a mental disease, and most of all that it’s representation has no proven negative effects on children, has been discussed a million times, and this has been ignored a million times as well.

Second: The book not only features LGBTQ+ people. There is a tale about a little bunny who was born with three ears instead of two, and is being constantly made fun of by his friends because of it. However when there is some danger in the forest he will be the first to hear it and warn the others, thus turning his disability his strength (the Avatar series did the exact same thing with Toph for example). It also features people from other ethnicities, such as the romani people who have been present in my country for hundreds of years, but they rarely get any good representation. The book also features girls who don’t have slim bodies, but they are happy the way they look, and love baking. in addition to that women are not featured as a mere “prize” who needs to be saved, so she can be married off later, but rather actual knights, who can fight for themselves, bringing through a feminist message as well.

The people who protested/protest the book got stuck at the part where LGBTQ+ people get represented. I read a comment which said “Children wouldn’t have the capacity to understand such thing, so putting it in a children’s book is pointless” or “This kind of perversion is mere poornography, and anyone who shoves it in the faces of children is malicious!” Alright, the book has a lot of pictures in it (it’s a children’s book after all) and none of them show depictions of sexual acts, only the exact same thing that happens in cartoons, and many other mediums that feature a type of romance (e.g.: kissing and hugging), the only difference is that now we have two princes, or princesses, so this part of the outrage runs out of fuel.

“Children wouldn’t have the capacity to understand such thing” Well that ain’t exactly true either, even though children have a vaguely different perception of the world, they aren’t stupid, let alone unemphatetic. They have the capacity to understand abstarct or complicated concepts, such as death, grief, and loneliness, why wouldn’t they be able to understand various differences? This is in fact the reason why representation from a young age is important: If you are the part of the represented group, you can see yourself as the hero of the story, feel tha the things featured in there are available even for you. And even if you are not the part of such group, you can learn a thing or two about the perception of others, you see how they feel, what kind of problems they may have, with one word, you can become open and emphatetic to their world.

Some people also put an equality sign between homosexuality and pedophilia. The latter one is still condemned by the whole LGBTQ+ community, and they do everything in their power to keep them out of their community.

In summary, i think this book could be a great start where we break the circle of hatred, intolerance and biggotry, but appearently we are not ready for “that talk”. Some leaders of my country would do everything to prove that LGBTQ+ people cannot be the part of my homeland, while even our very national anthem has been proven to written by a gay man.

Sadly, my country seems to turn into an increasingly authoritarian regime led by bigotic hypocrats, where many forms of hatred like certain far-right groups can once again walk down the streets without shame, but minorities are not allowed to even show themselves.

[contextualrandomness]

The Shouldn't Waste Your Pretty Face Playlist

The long anticipated (cough, cough - or the thing I promised myself I would make before posting but then got impatient??) playlist to Shouldn't Waste Your Pretty Face! Enjoy and if you're interested, below the cut are my reasons for putting each song into the playlist and what I think each represents in the story.

Head Above Water by Avril Lavigne – “My life is what I’m fighting for”

When this story starts, Nolan is overwhelmed and scared and desperate to make his hockey dream a reality. All of his energy is focused on making sure he does everything right because his life in hockey depends on it.

Gasoline by Halsey – “Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me”

This song was my anthem while writing this story. There were so many lines in this song that I debated making the title but given the themes of this story I felt like ‘shouldn’t waste your pretty face’ was the perfect epitome of Nolan’s struggle. The world hates it when we don’t fit into their boxes.

LOST BOY by Troye Sivan – “I say I want to settle down, build your hopes up like a tower”

This is Isaac’s song. Or it’s the song of Isaac and Nolan and the constant push Nolan feels to surrender to this sweet boy with kind eyes and a gentle smile and the equally constant pull he feels of knowing that their dreams of the future don’t line up and he needs to get out now.

Friends Don’t by Maddie & Tae – “They don’t hear each other’s names and forget to concentrate”

I struggled somewhat to find the best place for this song within the chronology of this playlist because honestly this song is just the entire beginning of TK and Nolan’s relationship. This almost immediate connection that always edged a little too close to ‘not just friends.’ And the absolute roller coaster of emotions it brings for Nolan as his feelings for TK grow and bubble up under his skin.

Good as You by Kane Brown – “You’re more than just the surface, you got the heart of gold”

Oh, the fight. Stories just aren’t the same without at least a little bit of drama. Losing TK as a consistent touchstone in his rookie season quickly morphed into unbearable for Nolan. Recognizing that a lot of his own bullshit hurt someone who has been nothing but an absolute gentleman to him was just the bridge Nolan needed to cross to begin to find out who he really is. This fight is the first turning point into Nolan’s transition to becoming who he’s really meant to be.

I Like Me Better by Lauv – “I knew from the first time; I’d stay for a long time”

Nolan’s friendship with Nico is a really important part of this story. Nico is the first person who truly gives Nolan permission to be himself, to explore all his angles in the comfort of a safe space.

Numb by Linkin Park – “All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you”

Nolan’s mom played a much larger role ‘on-screen’ in the first iteration of this story. In the final draft she is the constant, omnipresent ‘villain’ but doesn’t get as much airtime. However, this song was so, so important to keep in the playlist. This probably reveals that I’m someone who came of age in the early-aughts, but this song was my angsty anthem as a teen. The constant fight of wanting to be different than what your family expects of you. So, chronologically, I’ve put it in roughly where we ‘see’ his mom for the first time, but it’s an applicable song throughout the story.

Sucker by Jonas Brothers – “You’re the medicine and the pain, the tattoo inside my brain”

The theme song of Nolan’s second heat. The moment he realizes that he can clock TK’s scent in a crowded bar, the moment he lets TK cut his strings and give him exactly what he needs. That moment, after, when he’s tangled in the sheets with TK and knows that if he could, if he wasn’t broken, he’d want this every moment of his life.

Silver Lining by Mt. Joy – “Wear your silver lining, wear it close to your skin”

Is this really a Nolan Patrick story without a Mt. Joy song in its playlist? No. No, it’s not. So here is Pretty Face’s shameless inclusion of a Mt. Joy song in its playlist. It also happens to be my favorite Mt. Joy song and a perfect fit for the metaphor that clothes play in this story.

homecoming queen? by Kelsea Ballerini – “But what if I told you the world wouldn’t end if you started showing what’s under your skin”

I really debated if this song had a place in this playlist or the playlist for TK’s story. In the end I think it fits both and so this is my secret, easter egg that hints at a bit of what TK’s story is going to be about. Think – first verse is Travis, second verse in Nolan, and the chorus sums up the entire message of both of their stories.

Adore You by Harry Styles – “Honey, I’d walk through fire for you just let me adore you”

THIS IS TK’S SONG AND YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE. TK one hundred percent believes that one of the most important things he’ll ever do in this life is adore Nolan and make sure he knows how amazing he is. In terms of actual story moments, I always think about this song during the scenes with the courting presents.

HEAVEN by Troye Sivan, Betty Who – “So if I’m losing a piece of me maybe I don’t want heaven”

Can you tell I really like Troye Sivan? I really like Troye Sivan. I always really connected with the lyrics in this song. In particular, this song makes me think of the scene right at the end of Nolan’s last heat of the first season and they’re in the Brooklyn hotel room and TK grabs the end of Nolan’s braid, tugs it, and tells him that it looks good.

Voices in My Head by Ashley Tisdale – “All the voices in my head always try to break me”

As the summer after Nolan’s rookie season starts to bleed into late July you begin to see Nolan’s shift towards owning his thoughts, feelings, and emotions. He’s beginning to recognize that the fucked up voices in his head are just the expectations society put on him and that they don’t necessarily reflect his own thoughts and desires.

Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Cara – “And you don’t have to change a thing, the world could change its heart”

This is my Maddie Patrick song. Even though many characters throughout this story remind Nolan that there isn’t anything wrong with his true self, Maddie is such a critical person in this regard. She grew up in the same household as Nolan and knows the bullshit he received. She’s the one that constantly reminds him of the patriarchy and bodily autonomy and the importance of owning yourself. And that it’s the world that needs to change, not him.

Brave by Sara Bareilles – “Maybe there’s a way out of the cage where you live”

This song is essentially representing Nolan’s journey to getting his tubes tied, after finally allowing himself to admit out loud what he’s always known – his body doesn’t fit him perfect and it’s time for him to change that.

Worship You by Kane Brown – “Every time I see you smile it’s like I’ve seen the light”

Would it be the soundtrack to TK’s love confession if it wasn’t country music? Or Kane Brown? I feel like TK would like Kane Brown. I feel like TK just wants to spend his whole life worshipping Nolan and reminding him of the miracle he’s giving TK by loving him back.

Soul Meets Body by Death Cab for Cutie – “I want to live where soul meets body”

And here we are at the end of Nolan’s journey where he has two tiny scars on his hipbones that remind him that the outside of his body finally fits the inside. That his soul and his body are finally one and the same.

[imissthembutitwasntadisaster]

OUAT playlist commentary

For @magpie-trove. To be honest, in large part this is more about Emma than any of the other characters.  It’s basically her arc, but there are bits and pieces of other characters popped in.

Playlist here 

1. White Horse.  The first four songs are essentially a prologue.  So, Emma’s not doing great before she meets Neal when it comes to, you know, The Law, but it’s his leaving that makes her the cynic who doesn’t believe in love that we meet at the beginning, and destroys her belief in the truth of fairytales.  So “I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale” is very apt for the heartbreak that starts her down the road that must be corrected in Storybrooke. 

2. Twin Skeletons.  In large part this was for The Vibes.  It’s about a relationship slipping away, and “I don't want to remember it all, the promises I made if you just hold on,” feels very much like the desperation and breakage that Emma faced from Neal, but the verses also show the aggression that is actually quite deep in her. 

3. Time Machine.  This isn’t deep, this is just her wishing she never met Neal, and also it’s a bop. 

4.  Back to December.  This is actually more from Neal’s pov.  I’m sorry or that night! I go back to December all the time!  It’s like the imaginary conversation he might have had. 

5. Serenity.  I ADORE the music for this film, but this is just such a hopeful track, and here it’s marking the end of the prologue and the start of the show itself, with Henry ariving. 

6.  Rose-Coloured Boy.  “Cause I just killed off what was left of the optimist in me.”  This is Emma and Henry, how they start.  She wishes she could be rose-coloured like him, but she can’t, she’s too much of a cynic. 

7.  The Only Exception.  One of the sweetest love songs, also about Emma and Henry.  Her healing towards love really does start with him!  No wonder true love’s kiss is her kissing him! He is the only exception to her cynicism and we love to see it. 

8.  Mean.  This is Regina being introduced. 

9.  Nobody.  This is, besides being A BOP, both a song for Regina and for Emma, this refusal to be told what to do.  A battle anthem for season 1. 

10. Ready to Question.  This is in large part for the Fun Adultery Subplot! (and by fun I mean weird and not fun).  “I don’t know what to believe.”  “I’m ready to question that life is a blessing.”  It’s all so full of pain, and it’s hard to believe there’s joy in anything, and this is also for Emma after the death of Graham. 

11. Someone to you.  After Graham, I would argue is when Emma really really starts fighting.  This is in many ways one of Her songs, underneath it all she just wants to mean something to someone, to the town, to Snow, and especially here, to Henry. 

12.  Echoes of You.  This is one of my favourite songs ever, but also I feel it fits for Emma’s past haunting her.  She is plagued by who she was and as such by who she thinks she is, and that flickers up enough that I put that in.

13.  Could Have Been Me.  A hero song.  The hero song.  Don’t wanna live as an untold story.  Season 1 finale peak. 

14.  Back in my Body.  Emma does face a lot of difficulties in the next seasons in deciding still where she belongs, but her path is never as unclear after season 1 as it was.  “this time I know I’m fighting, this time I know I’m back in my body.”  It’s a certainty that even if there is uncertainty, she knows that she’s still willing to fight in a way she wasn’t necessarily before.  It’s about FAITH. 

15.  Forbidden Friendship.  When I was little, I listened to the HTTYD soundtrack CONSTANTLY, I had it on a cd and I just had it on repeat.  Massive nostalgia.  This track especially is so beautiful and warm, and I felt appropriate to the segue into the next section. 

From this point on, it’s less chronological, and more grouped in relationships, with a little bit of a timeline.  I’ll probably add more now that I’ve started watching again, but probably not hugely given the change in type of section. 

16.  Saturn.  Saturn is about Emma and Snow and Charming.  It’s a family song, and it’s here to represent how they did begin to make their way back together as a family, and how Snow and Charming did begin to teach Emma how becautiful it is to even exist. 

17.  Dog Days are Over.  Happiness? Hit her? Like a bullet in the back?  She hid under corners and she hid under beds, she killed it with kisses and from it she fled? Emma is very much aggressively dragged into being loved and happiness. 

18.  Voldemort.  Voldemort is about asking for help, and trusting people to provide it.  We see near the beginning of season 2 that Emma still isn’t willing to give that (especially Tallahassee), but she does slowly come to trust other people, especially her family.  This is in large part the family section, so thats here, closely followed by

19. Stone.  A similar idea, about asking for help, asking to be supported.  Asking for a stone to stand on in the face of currents. 

20. She Will Be Loved.  And this is the response to the questions, this is Charming and Snow and all the people of Storybrooke giving Emma the love that she needs. 

21.  Dear Wormwood.  This doesn’t really fit in the Emma’s Family section, but it’s here for Regina anyway.  Her redeption arc starts in earnest in season 2, and she gets to be the hero in the finale and begins to face what her mother did to her, and for all that she gets the best redemption song.  “I want to be more than this devil inside of me.”  I just love her so much sometimes. 

22.  He’s a Pirate.  The final section! The Hook section! I also had the potc sountrack on disk, also listened to that on repeat.  The sound of my childhood, but an excellent introduction.  Here we backtrack a little to when Emma first meets Hook. 

23.  GOLD RUSH GOLD RUSH GOLD RUSH.  Their first meeting song.  I don’t like a gold rush.  Sinking ships on water I almost jump in.  It’s just perfect for Reasons. 

24.  The Reckless and the Brave.  Now we jump to the Neverland arc.  Another hero song for all our heroes. 

25.  End of an Era.  I love end of an era for so many reasons, it’s such an incredible song.  It’s about the ending of a relationship, and so here in many ways it’s in letting go of Neal after he died, but it’s also about Emma letting go of every part of the past, of the fact she still thinks of herself of the Lost Girl, of the lack of hope that still lingers somewhere in her.  Also, what you don’t know is that on the album, the first song has the line “Hope fades away in Astoria,” and this song has “hope’s fading into Astoria” which guts me every time.  It’s about moving forward.  It’s also about moving forward for Regina, and how the townspeople begin to move past her being evil.

26.  Roll Away Your Stone.  The other Redemption song, about Regina, about Hook, about Rumple.  They all have newly impassioned souls and I love them for it. 

27.  Love Will Come and Find me Again.  Emma really doesn’t consider Hook as a proper option until after Neal dies, and this is her movement towards that. 

28.  Cruel Summer.  Look early Emma and Hook just have Cruel Summer vibes.  “I’m not dying,” they refuse to admit really that it’s particularly serious, when it is!

29.  She Loves Me.  This is such a Hook song that it kills me, I have nothing clever to say about it, just listen because it’s perfect. 

30.  This Love.  THESE HANDS HAD TO LET IT GO FREE AND THIS LOVE CAME BACK TO ME.  Also ALL THE WATER METAPHORS.  THE Hook/Emma song.  When you’re young you just run! But you come back to what you need! They keep letting each other go and then coming back!

31.  Last Hope.  A quick reminder that plot is actually happening, tragically, and that it’s not all about the cute love story.  Terrible things keep happening, but ultimately “the salt in my wounds isn't burning any more than it used to.  It's not that I don't feel the pain, it's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore.  And the blood in these veins isn't pumping any less than it ever has and that's the hope I have, the only thing I know that's keeping me alive, alive.”  There is always hope. 

32.  All I’ve Ever Known.  Oh they could have played this over the Emma and Hook kiss at the end of season 3 and I’d have been happy.  Very Cowboy Like Me vibes (which I should probably also put on here somewhere, I just already have A LOT of love songs).  Now I wanna hold you! the certainty of it all, the rejection of solitude. 

33.  Willow.  Life was a willow! And it bent right to your wind! I’m like the water when your ship blew in that night! (also, rough on the surface but you cut through like a knife is such a description of Emma).  Just, the perfect song for them.  As is

34.  King of my Heart.  I’m sorry, most of these are just love songs now because I love them.  I’m perfectly fine, I live on my own, I made up my mind I’m better off being alone! BUT we met a few weeks ago! Is this the end of all the endings??? My broken bones are mending??? I have nothing coherent to say, just joy. 

35.  Carry On.  Again, a reminder of actual plot.  Similar to Last Hope, so much of this show is about enduring, how if you carry on there will be light.  Do good, continue to do good, and eventually there will be good.  Iconic, amazing. 

36.  I’m Yours.  One of the best “how dare you make me fall in love with you” songs.   “Some nerve you have to break up my lonely and tell me you want me, how dare you march into my heart, oh how rude of you.”  I feel it fits Emma well. 

37.  After the Storm.  For the ending of it all.  Such a sweet and gentle song about kindness coming, and calm, and such an emotional song as well. 

38.  Thus Always to Tyrants.  This is about Regina again, how she ends happily, how she does greet the daylight looming, learn to love without comsuming. 

39. Long Story Short.  I dropped my sword, threw it in the bushes and knocked on your door! Honestly, the imagery of this song is perfect for Emma entierly as a whole.  Which leads ultimately into

40.  Long Live.  HER SONG.  THEIR SONG.  THE SONG.  I HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE FIGHTING DRAGONS WITH YOU!!!!!!

And that’s the end.  I had no idea I had exactly 40, that’s pretty cool.  So yeah, more may well come, especially surrounding other people’s arcs, but right now that’s what there is and why!                                    

[between-two-fandoms]

I wanted to ask for a fic set before the guys died where maybe Luke and Alex realized that Reggie has some sort of PTSD maybe?? (If possible, I'd like Reggie and Luke to be together 👉🏼👈🏼) 💜

Oof. 

This ask has been staring at me for weeks and I’ve been staring back at it, then ignoring it exists because for the life of me I couldn’t figure out what the hell to write. I’m so sorry it took me this long to figure it out! Hopefully you like it! The fic’ll be under the cut, it got away from me... as do most of my prompted works, lmao.

Is This Real Life?

Summary:

Luke knew something was going on with Reggie, but it wasn’t until the bassist broke down during rehearsal did he realize how bad Reggie was really getting. Luckily Julie and Alex were there to help, because Luke didn’t know Reggie’s flashbacks could still happen since they became ghosts, and he definitely wouldn’t have been able to help Reggie through this one alone.

Luke didn’t notice it until after they were all dead and playing with Julie in the studio one day. They were running through a few newer songs he and Julie had written over the weekend. The songs were all set up to be anthems, upbeat and energetic. Luke was positive they’d get their audience dancing on their feet by the end of the first verse. It happened just as he strummed the last chord of the song though… Reggie’s thing. The bassist flinched when Alex slammed his drumsticks onto the cymbals with a tad more aggression than necessary. When Luke met Reggie’s eyes he could tell something was off. He couldn’t pinpoint it, the exact moment the usual light in Reggie’s eyes dimmed, but it happened. “Reggie, everything okay?” Luke asked as Julie switched her sheet music for a different song. He took note of Reggie’s right hand shaking as he tried to re-tune the bass. Reggie nodded and plastered on a painfully fake smile.

“Of course I’m okay Luke!” Reggie exclaimed with a bit too much excitement. “Why wouldn’t I be?” Luke frowned as Reggie started looking around the studio, like he was confused about where he was. It was painfully similar to how they all looked when they first appeared at Caleb’s club the night of the Orpheum performance. Reggie was getting jittery… and anxious… something was very clearly not right. Alex stopped drumming his slow beat and glanced at Luke in concern.

“Reggie,” Luke said, taking a slow step forward. He took off his guitar and rested it against it’s stand. Reggie winced and took a tripped backwards, foot catching on a loose amp chord. We really should tape those down, Luke reminded himself, before turning his attention back to his now-terrified friend. Reggie hit the ground with a thunk and instantly curled into himself. He was shivering like it was freezing in the room, even though the sun was up and shining through the windows.

“‘M sorry,” Reggie mumbled, trying to reel in whatever composure he thought passed as normal. “‘M not a fag, not a fag,” Reggie said, and it sounded like he was pleading with someone. Luke’s heart clenched when Reggie flinched back, as though he was expecting to get hit by something. Julie let out a gasp of surprise, and Luke looked to Alex for help. Alex poofed next to Luke and the two of them sat close enough to their bandmate so he’d know they were there, and that they weren’t trying to hurt them. Luke’s heart ached at the sight of his friend, Reggie was the youngest out of the three of them, even if it was only by a few months.

“Luke,” Julie said quietly, not wanting to scare Reggie anymore than he already was. “What’s going on?” She stayed by the piano, but he could tell she was concerned. Luke just looked at her helplessly as Alex tried to calm Reggie down.

“‘M sorry!” Reggie yelled suddenly, then threw himself backwards like he got slapped across the face. Luke tensed as he realized what was happening. Reggie’s parents fought constantly when they were alive, about every little thing that could possibly be fought about. He remembered when Alex had come out to everyone, and to their parents. “Not sick, ‘m not sick,” Reggie muttered as Alex failed to get through to him. Emily and Mitch were supportive and understanding, but Reggie’s parents… from what little Luke actually remembered about them… they seemed indifferent about the whole Alex-being-gay thing. It was like they were fine with it as long as if their own son wasn’t gay… Realization dawning on Luke he knelt down and reached forward with his hand hesitantly, but he inevitably rested it on Reggie’s shoulder. Reggie tried to get away from his touch, thrashing around on the floor. Luke held his own though as he shifted so Reggie could see him.

“Reggie it’s Luke,” Luke said, trying to stay as calm as he could. Alex backed away to give them space, which he appreciated. Reggie’s hitched and the terrifying, shuddering breaths started to slow down. “Yeah, there you go. You’re safe remember? You’re here with me and Alex, in the studio.” He continued on, comforting, grounding words that were safe. Words that he knew reminded Reggie of times where he felt safe.

“Luke?” Reggie asked, a hint of doubt in his voice. Luke shifted his hand from Reggie’s shoulder to cupping the bassist’s cheek. Reggie was too exhausted to fight back, instead leaning into the palm of his hand. Luke eyed him carefully, watching for any signs of any sort of panic or anxiety attack. Reggie’s hands were still shaking slightly, but other than that he seemed to be doing a million times better than he was before. Luke let out a shaky laugh as he rested his forehead against Reggie’s.

“Yeah bud,” Luke said as he ran a hair through Reggie’s hair. “Hey,” Luke said, trying to keep Reggie talking. “Remember that time when we swapped Bobby’s guitar with a uke?” He asked, causing Julie to snort from across the room. Reggie gave him a wobbly smile in response, and Luke knew he was going in the right direction.

“He was -” Reggie coughed, “he was so bad at it.” Luke nodded as Alex somehow managed to dig out Reggie’s flannel from whatever pile of crap it was hiding under. Alex draped it over Reggie’s shoulders and he pulled it around him tightly.

“He had to play all of his solos on it during the gig, remember? His face got so red during the performance. I thought he was going to turn into a tomato,” Alex recalled with a light chuckle. Luke looked at Julie then nodded, and she bolted across the studio to where they were sitting. She knelt behind Reggie then said,

“Reggie, it’s Julie.” Reggie sagged, like a heavyweight was just lifted from them. She hummed, “You’re going to be okay. Can I play with your hair?” To Luke’s surprise, Reggie answered verbally with a whispered,

“Yes.” Taking her position, Julie settled in as she started running her hands through Reggie’s hair. The effect was imminent, and Reggie fell into her arms as she continued to murmur hushed words of comfort into his ears. Luke smiled gratefully at her and she smiled back at him. When five minutes passed and Reggie was obviously passed out in Julie’s lap she kept her hand in his hair.

“You don’t have to tell me anything…” Julie assured both Luke and Alex, who were both trying to figure out how to explain the situation without outing Reggie to her. Luke watched as Reggie slept peacefully, more relaxed than he ever did before they died. Sighing Luke nodded and ran a hand through his hair,

“Yeah. We do…” He exchanged a look with Alex, who nodded in support. They fell into a sort of uncomfortable silence as Luke tried to compile a comprehensive story to explain how shitty Reggie’s parents were. Alex took the lead,

“His parents used to fight… a lot. We knew it was bad, but he never let us go to his house or even be in the same room as his parents for longer than ten minutes. They barely went to our gigs… unless you count the one we accidentally booked in the bar his dad drank in.” Reggie made a soft noise of content when Julie resumed petting his hair. Luke couldn’t help but let a smile curve at the corners of his lips. Julie really was their saving grace... He picked up the story where Reggie left off,

“They weren’t the best but they were supportive when the could be… until Alex came out.” A look of guilt crossed Alex’s face. Luke quickly glared at him, “it’s not your fault and you know that Alex. They were shit parents, it would’ve happened even if you hadn’t.” Alex looked slightly less guilty, and Luke took it as a win. He could only handle one crisis at a time. Julie cleared her throat,

“So Reggie’s parents were homophobic?” Luke winced at the word,

“Not exactly. They were fine with Alex being gay, as long as he didn’t spread his ‘disease’ to their son.” An angry look crossed Julie’s face and Luke set a mental reminder to never make her pissed of at him.

“They what?” She asked, hissing the words. Luke nodded as Reggie shifted in his feet. His flannel fell slightly off him so Luke pulled it back over his shoulders.

“He didn’t want you to find out like this… but he’s bisexual. We both are… we’re exes,” Luke said tripping over his words as he did so. Julie’s eyebrows furrowed together in brief confusion, then her eyes widened.

“Oh… oh, you know I was wondering what those angsty-pondering looks were about.” Luke frowned,

“You don’t care?” He asked, confusion evident in his voice. Julie’s soft grin made Luke feel warm again, like he did back when she gave them her hug of life.

“I’m glad you told me, but it doesn’t change who you are.” She glanced at Alex then said, “just like how being gay doesn’t change who Alex is. You’re you and well… there’s always going to be assholes out there but as long as you remember who you are, then that’s enough.” A melody started working it’s way into Luke’s head. He started to hum it and Alex lounged on the floor next to Julie, he joined the three of them and curled into her other side. Reggie was sandwiched between them all, and Luke wrapped him and Julie up in his arms.

“You three really love each other, don’t you?” Julie asked as Alex’s soft snores filled the air. Luke hummed in response, then combed a hand through his hair instead of Reggie’s.

“We love you too Jules,” Luke promised, basking in her soft touches. Julie let out a soft chuckle,

“I know Luke. I love you guys too.” She started humming a song, he caught the words perfect harmony here and there and realized it was the same song that he thought of earlier. Luke didn’t want to think much of it though, he just wanted to hold his boys and his girl in his arms and keep them safe for a few hours longer.

[straykidsupdate]

STRAY KIDS INSPIRE THEIR GENERATION TO PICK UP THE MIC

K-POP’S YOUNG DISRUPTORS NAVIGATE ADULTHOOD ALONGSIDE THEIR FANS

Stray Kids are fighting with their fans to determine who adores the other most. The fans started it, erupting into an impromptu chant inside Microsoft Theater in downtown Los Angeles: "We love you! We love you!," they shout, repeatedly. The sound is deafening, catching the boy band off guard. The eight members retaliate with their own impassioned chorus. "We love Stay," they respond, referencing their legions of international devotees. Both sides scream until, ultimately, Stray Kids admit defeat; they stand awkwardly onstage, apparently unsure how to receive the unrivaled adulation. Bang Chan, the Korean group's steadfast leader, looks around the venue in awe, while sensible vocalist Seungmin makes a heart with his hands and points to the crowd, resolved to have the last word.

This is not the first time Stray Kids has lost the battle of who-loves-who. It’s happened in cities across the United States, from New York to Dallas, amidst their District 9: Unlock world tour. It's canon, chiseled into the group's short but colorful history, alongside such viral moments as "Seungmin in the building" and "I'm not gonna leave you behind." Displays of affection between idols and fans are nothing new but, with Stray Kids, they’re never forced.

"It doesn't matter how old you are," Bang Chan tells the crowd mid-show, intensity building with every word. "It doesn't matter if you're a boy or a girl, or whoever you choose to be. It doesn't matter where you're from — everyone is welcome in our special district."

Two weeks prior to this performance, Stray Kids — Bang Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, Han, Felix, Seungmin, and I.N — are gazing from a conference room in a Times Square skyscraper. The sky is gray, but that doesn't deter Hyunjin from posing for a series of selfies against the floor-to-ceiling window. As the lithe dancer works his angles, his bandmates are scattered throughout the room. Han props his phone against the room’s A/V controls to watch an anime; Bang Chan hunches over his own phone, thumbing the screen intently; Lee Know rests his eyes; and Australia-born Felix gossips about last night's Grammy Awards. Like any teen, he's obsessed with Billie Eilish, and her historic Grammys sweep is hard for him to fathom. "Can you believe it?" he says, eyes wide and sparkling. "She's only 18. It's amazing."

But at 19, the deep-voiced rapper, whose delicate features betray his cherry-red hair, has similarly found success at a young age. Within a year of their 2018 debut, Stray Kids received 11 rookie awards and released five EPs. In fact, while Eilish and her brother Finneas were crafting homemade beats in a Highland Park bedroom, JYP Entertainment's tenacious boy wonders were honing their own unique sound in a small studio in Seoul, South Korea. Members Bang Chan, Changbin, and Han comprise the group's primary production trio, 3RACHA, and they've been making music together since their trainee days in 2017. Introspective early tracks like "Start Line" and "Runner's High" laid the foundation for Stray Kids' sonic identity: With the disruptive power of punk, they deliver astute, poignant lyrics about the bristly experience of growing up and its side effects.

"The things we worry about and the things Stay worry about — we share a lot of the same struggles," Han tells MTV News. "Even though our ambitions are different, we work hard just the same. It becomes our inspiration musically." As the creative force behind two of the group's more vulnerable cuts, "19" and "Sunshine," the 19-year-old rapper reveals his innermost thoughts and anxieties to the fans. But that honesty can be frightening.

"It's nerve-racking for us," Bang Chan says. "Sometimes we think, 'If we talk about this, will people understand? Will they relate?' We're always thinking about how we can reach people through our lyrics because we want our music to help."

That empathy has been woven throughout their music from the beginning. Stray Kids’ first singles, the pre-debut track "Hellevator" and the darkly riotous "District 9," are full of angst and aggression, soundtracks for those who balk at societal pressures and follow their own rules. "My Pace" is an empowering anthem teeming with energy and affirmations. ("Don't compare yourself with others," Bang Chan sings on the hook. "It's OK to run slower.") Songs like "Voices" and "Side Effects" offer an intimate glimpse into the tumultuous mind of a young person still figuring out their place in the world, while "Miroh" and "Victory Song" are bursting with big sounds and youthful bravado.

"Young people today may feel a bit trapped, like you're constantly being told what to do and you feel like you can't speak for yourself," Bang Chan says. "So we want people our age to feel comfortable speaking out and talking about what they think."

By encouraging their fans to examine their own growing pains, to feel everything, they ensure that their message is never didactic. "All strayed steps come together to make a new road," they say at their concert. And with their latest release, "Levanter," off their sixth EP Clé: Levanter, Stray Kids come to the understanding that the journey is more meaningful than the destination, and the path ahead is ultimately theirs to define. So they double knot their shoelaces and dash full-speed ahead. "We might not know what the actual goal is, but as long as we're running hard and we're running as a group, whatever comes is going to be good anyway," Bang Chan says. "We just wish that a lot of people out there could listen to our music and get a lot of energy and hope from it."

Like 25-year-old Selina, who connects to their lyrics because she's "still on that journey of figuring out what I want to do and who I want to be," she says, clutching her Stray Kids light stick (a compass, now featuring Bang Chan's name written on the handle) outside of Microsoft Theater. Her friend Joseline, 18, likes that the members "have other priorities and interests outside of being a K-pop idol" that they reveal through daily Instagram posts, livestreams on the V Live app, TikToks, and weekly YouTube videos and vlogs. "He's not just Han from Stray Kids, he's Han Jisung — rapper, producer, and person," she adds.

For Kambree, 17, the group has a "positive vibe" that makes her feel happy and accepted. "They make us feel like family, no matter who you are or what you look like," she adds. Her best friend Lexxie, 17, says Stray Kids "make me feel like I'm not alone with my issues." And So Yun, 30, finds their mix of "hard-hitting EDM" and "super angsty" lyrics reminiscent of the emo bands she listened to in high school. "It's the same rebellious spirit that I felt as a teen when you want to be your own person and figure out your own voice."

Their music has given Louis, 30, a newfound perspective. "I like the ['Levanter'] lyric, 'I want to be myself, I don't care' — that line resonates with me because we live in a society where people try to mold you, but at the same time, I just want to myself and at this point, I really don't care!"

Best friends Ella and Jazlynn, both 19, met online through their mutual love of Stray Kids, and they've customized their light sticks with glitters and holographic stickers of their favorite members' names. "Half of the group is technically my age, so I can look at them and see how successful they are, and it gives me inspiration to work harder," Jazlynn says, an I.N banner at her side. And while they do feel comforted by the authenticity in the group's songs, as Ella explains, it's who they are off-stage that many fans connect with most. "When you see Felix do the Renegade, it's like, 'I do that too!'"

Their ability to ignite the stage with powerful performances while staying true to themselves behind the scenes — as both K-pop's reigning meme kings and young men navigating adulthood — is what makes Stray Kids so relatable to a generation that experiences much of their lives online. "This generation is comfortable being alone," Changbin says. "We have our phones. We don't always need to be talking to each other to be together. Sometimes a text is fine."

And they're pretty normal, too. Bang Chan and Changbin watch videos from Tomorrowland and Ultra Music Festival to help clear their minds in the studio; the tracks "Road Not Taken" and "Stop" are the direct results of such self-care. Han's idea of a perfect day would be to "not come out of my room for 24 hours." If he could spend all day watching YouTube videos, he would. In fact, he says "Sunshine" was inspired by a scene in the Korean drama Boys Over Flowers, where the main characters travel to an idyllic private island. Though Han’s larger-than-life presence dominates the stage, he identifies as an introvert and admits he hopes to "overcome" his shyness. "On my ideal perfect day, I'd try new experiences and meet new people comfortably," he says. "You can do it!" Bang Chan adds, encouragingly.

Youngest member I.N makes time to go shopping, though he prefers to "chill" on his days off. And when Felix isn't playing video games or destroying kitchens with Seungmin, he frequents Seoul's finest dog cafes. "We have so many dog lovers in our group," he says, smiling. "I've been looking at a lot of dogs, and I feel like they help you feel better. I really want a dog with the team." Jisung points at Seungmin, whose nickname is "puppy," and Bang Chan adds, "We already have one." Seungmin scrunches his nose and says, "No way!" (But Han insists he's a "really bad boy.")

Meanwhile, Hyunjin, who’s known by fans for his theatrics and commanding stage presence is extremely open with his emotions. He frequents V Live, where he offers personal advice to viewers of his video series Hyunjin’s Counseling Center. But the 19-year-old admits that opening up to Stay has helped him, too. "I don't always have a lot of confidence," he says. “When I want to be comforted or when I’m feeling kind of sad, Stay are really good at consoling me. I want to be able to repay that comfort in full."

"The connection between Stay and Stray Kids would be family," Felix adds. Han jokes that they're the "annoying and mischievous" little brothers. But it's that sense of connection, among the group as well as with their fans, that has cemented Stray Kids as the vital voices of their generation.

"The struggles we're going through — anxiety, stress, school, love — they tell us to take our time and see where our path leads," Selina says. "It's OK to stray from it. Just stay true to yourself. I always associate that with them. The idea of 'You Make Stray Kids Stay' is to find out what it is that grounds you and just keep going."

And Stray Kids don't plan to slow down any time soon. Having wrapped their Clé series at the end of last year with Levanter, 2020 offers an exciting fresh page for new musical experimentations, starting with the three original unit songs the group produced for the tour. "Wow" is a sexy R&B track from dancers Lee Know, Hyunjin, and Felix. It's also their first explicit love song. "We wanted to try a sexy song because it's a special stage," Hyunjin says, explaining that the dancers worked on their own lyrics in addition to helping with the slinky choreography. "We wanted to include moves that we haven't tried before," Lee Know adds, noting that they wanted something sexy and powerful. "So it was a new experience."

"My Universe," featuring vocalists Seungmin and I.N with an assist from Changbin, is a bright pop ballad. "I always wanted to try something like that," I.N says, eyes smiling. Seungmin tells Changbin from across the table, "Thanks for helping." And 3RACHA's "We Go" oozes confidence over a scorching trap beat. "We made 'We Go' last time we were here [in the United States]," Bang Chan says. "We made around three to four songs in one day… The performance is really fun as well. And those two [he points to Han and Changbin] got to have the chance to use Autotune live."

They also released their first English singles in January, a process that rapper Changbin, known for his furious flow, calls "difficult." ("It was fun," Hyunjin argues beside him.) "I was listening to Changbin's rap [in 'Double Knot'] like, 'Why is this so fast? What am I going to write?'" Bang Chan says. "I tried to write it as easy as possible so that he could speak it well. I'm really glad that they could record it really well for me."

In March, they'll debut in Japan. And there's another mixtape project in the works, kicked off by the digital release of "Gone Days," a relaxed, Autotune-laced anthem for the "OK Boomer" generation. A play on the Korean word kkondae, it describes someone who pushes outdated ideas and expectations onto another based only on their age and status — and signals the arrival of a bold new direction. "I think [young people] now just need to be more comfortable with themselves," Bang Chan says of his inspiration for the track. "By being yourself, you never know what's going to happen."

"I always believe that one person can change the world," he adds. "So if you have a thought or an idea, just let it out. Because who knows? You can make the world a much better place."

[sheikah]

Folklore is a literally perfect album and I love it for a million reasons. But here is a compilation of my thoughts on my favorite lyrics that make it a Darklina anthem </3

I wouldn’t call myself a Swiftie and I don’t really blog about Taylor but I love this album so much. Bon Iver is one of my favorite artists of all time and I always listen to his music while writing. To me folklore has big Bon Iver energy haha (obviously, he collaborated on “exile”). Maybe it’s because I was finishing up my Darklina fic when folklore dropped but I just connected so many of Taylor’s lyrics and stories with them. I feel a lot of bitterness in this album that’s balanced, precariously, with hope. I’d say the same thing about canon!Darklina. You know, until Alina killed him :X

Anyway, here are my favorite bits!

If my wishes came true, it would’ve been you.

You know the greatest loves of all time are over now.

-”the 1″

This is textbook Alina to me. It reminds me of, “ Why don't you just admit that you wanted to belong to him? Why don't you admit that part of you still does?” The lyrics are like her bitter admission, an acceptance of her own feelings, but too late.

You drew stars around my scars, but now I’m bleeding.

-”cardigan”

I often see the fanon version of Aleksander as pure seduction and arrogance. I see those parts of him and they’re a huge part of his appeal, but I’m more interested in his vulnerability. We only get glimpses, but it’s definitely there. His long life has included a lot of misery, and he tells Alina in S&B that she’s “the first glimmer of hope that [he’s] had in a long time.” I think their relationship was helping to heal him, that he was starting to let go of some of his anger and bitterness. But when she left that all fell apart. Also, there’s so much star imagery in descriptions of and about Aleksander. 

You didn’t even hear me out. 

You never gave a warning sign. 

All this time, I never learned to read your mind.

-”exile”

“Exile” is a duet so it’s fitting that I feel like these lines apply equally to both Alina and Aleksander :( So much of the central conflict of the trilogy could have been avoided if they’d actually had a candid conversation about Aleksander’s plans and intentions. But Alina (understandably) leaves immediately after Baghra’s warning, and for most of the trilogy they’re just trading out who is deceiving who. Tbh this whole song works so well for them. There’s a lot of jealousy and betrayal laced through the words but I just picked my favorite bit.

Even on my worst day, did I deserve, babe

All the hell you gave me?

'Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you

'Til my dying day

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace

And you're the hero flying around, saving face

And if I'm dead to you, why are you at the wake?

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean

Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring

You know I didn't want to have to haunt you

But what a ghostly scene

You wear the same jewels that I gave you

As you bury me

And I can go anywhere I want

Anywhere I want, just not home

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood

But you would still miss me in your bones

And I still talk to you (When I'm screaming at the sky)

And when you can't sleep at night (You hear my stolen lullabies)

And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same

Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

You turned into your worst fears

And you're tossing out blame, drunk on this pain

Crossing out the good years

And you're cursing my name, wishing I stayed

Look at how my tears ricochet

-”my tears ricochet”

I’m pretty sure the whole fandom already connected this song to Aleksander. It’s just too easy, and too heartbreaking. I can’t even... It’s just so fitting? The bit about wearing the jewels (amplifiers???), cursing his name (”no one knew his name to curse or extol”). The whole thing, really. I’m in PAIN.

Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me

You showed me colors you know I can't see with anyone else

Look at this idiotic fool that you made me

You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else

And you know damn well

For you, I would ruin myself

-”illicit affairs”

Alina and Aleksander’s connection was something unique that she always remarked upon every time they reunited, and it wasn’t something that could be replicated (not even when Leigh randomly made Mal an amplifier too :|). Alina also constantly blames herself for not seeing through Aleksander sooner in S&B, like he made a fool of her. The “ruin myself” line is so similar to the, “You could make me a better man,” “And you could make me a monster,” exchange. Alina can see the darkness that would come with loving him. In S&S she willingly faces death with him just to stop him, thinking they’ll die together. THE ANGST OF IT IS JUST *chef’s kiss* 

Time, curious time

Gave me no compasses, gave me no signs

Were there clues I didn't see?

And isn't it just so pretty to think

All along there was some

Invisible string

Tying you to me?

Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire

Chains around my demons

Wool to brave the seasons

One single thread of gold

Tied me to you

-”invisible string”

This just screams Aleksander and his belief that he and Alina were destined to meet, that his long life was going to turn around when she came around :(

It's obvious that wanting me dead

Has really brought you two together

-”mad woman”

If this isn’t scorned Aleksander after finding Mal and Alina kissing in the forest near the stag in S&B then I don’t know what is.

But I’m a fire and I’ll keep your brittle heart warm

All these people think love's for show

But I would die for you in secret

I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best

But the rain is always gonna come if you're standin' with me

Would it be enough if I could never give you peace?

-”peace”

Alina knowing deep down she loves Aleksander but that it would never really work between them :(

My only one

My smoking gun

My eclipsed sun

This has broken me down

My twisted knife

My sleepless night

My winless fight

This has frozen my ground

Stood on the cliffside screaming, "Give me a reason"

Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in

Don't want no other shade of blue but you

No other sadness in the world would do

My best laid plan

Your sleight of hand

My barren land

I am ash from your fire

My only one

My kingdom come undone

My broken drum

You have beaten my heart

-”hoax”

This one seriously just speaks for itself. I mean, “eclipsed sun?!” Taylor is a Darklina stan CONFIRMED.

Anyway absolutely no one asked for this and I’ve made myself sad typing it up but damn if I don’t absolutely love this pairing and love this album. I love pain D: