#we only know he was a medic in the past
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This is so random but in my head Modern AU Lirin when he was younger was like mildly goth(and Hesina was into that idc)
And Adolin is like âomg my dad used to wear such trashy clothes back in the 2000âsâ and he shows a picture of just like younger Dalinar in a general 2000âs outfit
And kaladin goes âmy dad dressed pretty cool in the 2000âsâ (kaladin would not WEAR goth but he would find the style nice
And Adolin goes âoh fr show meâ expecting like smth prim and proper because Kaladin dresses like that rn (sue me.) and thats what style he would expect 1. Kaladin to like 2. Lirin to wear because Adolin has Met Kaladinâs Father
And Kaladin just shows him pictures of Lirin in his late 20âs and its just like pictures of this mall goth with Hesina occasionally there with her very on brand 2000âs outfit but itâs noticeably more black to match Lirin
#thank you for coming to my ted talk#you agree.#you must agree.#i cant wait for Kaladin dad lore to drop in SLA tho#we only know he was a medic in the past#which like. duh.#I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABT THIS MAN.#stormlight archive#cosmere#the stormlight archive#brandon sanderson#kaladin stormblessed#adolin kholin
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Fuck I hate being an adult. I need a more adult adult to help with the volatile emotional situation.
#I've sort of made a new friend? Like we met at the same art group and he's also trans which was like pleasantly surprising in our small town#but like. We have Differences Of Opinion#and it's not totally his fault because it sounds like he's had a Lot of bad shit in his past that's obviously made him wary and closed off#but like. He's slightly older than me (only 4 years) and keeps blaming a load of his problems on other trans folks?#like you know the type. The like 'all these nonbinary/other identities the kids are doing are complicating shit'#the 'it hurts to see people younger than me inc. kids get hormones thrown at them when I still can't get 'em' (which... yeah not even true)#and he's told me himself he doesn't engage much with the queer community bc it's too 'toxic'#and like. I can absolutely understand why he could've had some bad experiences esp. since he has some mental health shit going on#but he wants to be friends bc he doesn't know anyone else going through the medical shit and it's like. Yeah no shit you don't?#you decided the community you'd find them in is toxic? and that people in them are doing being trans wrong?#and I think if he was just some guy online I'd like roll my eyes and ignore him#but he's a real person in my vicinity and I feel fucking bad for him#and I can see how much self loathing he has and how much that probably informs the bullshit#like he told me he thinks that trans men and cis men are fundamentally different categories and trans men will never be cis men#but not in a 'the experiences are just different and come with different perspectives way'#in like a self defeating way. Like a I just have to settle for being a trans man way.#and it made me SO SAD#like bro#I'm so sorry for whoever the fuck made you feel like you're fighting an unwinnable battle#and I want to be a friend to him. I want him to feel like there's other queer people out there and there's friends and hope#but also I genuinely could see him being the kind of person who would get really angry at you for no fault of your own#like I already get the distinct feeling he resents me a little#like obviously not too much since he still wants to hang#but he's been trying and failing to get HRT for years and I got it super quickly basically by sheer luck/a doctor who looks out for me#like I'm so fucking lucky. And I just genuinely feel like he's the kind of person who might take that personally.#I just do not think I have the fucking. Emotional tool kit to salvage this shit#But I also can't exactly text him and say sorry I don't think we should hang out so. What do.#.....I wasn't even LOOKING for a new friend! I have enough friends!!! I wanted to make clay faces and look at pretty buildings dammit!!!#now I have to be the emotionally mature one who goes hmmm maybe let's not blame other depressed trans kids for our problems buddy#I'm just gonna have to be like. Upfront about my stance and if he doesn't like it well he doesn't have to hang out with me
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Vanessa didn't even die and yet her story is still sadder and more fucked up than jtodd's. He wishes he was on her level
#may be a controversial one but i dont care this is my house#dont think there are enough of you to get hate over this anything#anyways no she didnt die. she wasnt killed by voter poll. but like the stuff that fucked her up was so much more real than a psycho clown#like im sorry but what is âyou get beat up and dieâ to essentially getting taken and having the bad guys confirm to you that everything you#thought about yourself in middle school was true and everyone thinks youre ugly and worthless and not special and no one loves you. and then#ofc the medical torture. like im sorry but one of these things IS worse than the other imo#especially as the teen girl in the wonder woman comic like jesus christ#and while of COURSE the stuff about diana not loving her and all that is NOT true its something we see her struggle with as insecurity for#years beforehand. and then dc goes and brings her back into continuity in the past few years only to basically say âyeah wonder woman DIDNT#care about her! what a loser to think so and get all worked up about it! abt a vers of her who only has the name in common#like she wasnt dianas baby freaking sister with 100+ appearances#blah#vanessa kapatelis#anti jason todd#she also literally did the red hood arc before he did#with the whole attacking the successor and everything#yet another woman for him to steal from lmao#(this is mostly a joke. i dont think anyone making anything about jtodd canon or otherwise even knows what a wonder woman comic is but the#comparisons are still there.)
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guys this "keeping myself busy with distractions so I don't get sad" thing isn't working
#my mom is basically scrubbing the house of all traces of her bc thats how she copes. thats what she did when dad died#like two days later she was cleaning out all his medical equipment and stuff#i guess thats a way of dealing with it :( just doesnt really work for me because it makes me feel their absence even harder#like for me i personally wanted to keep Dad's stuff around for a while because. idk i guess it just felt like he was still kind of there#in a way. i guess. i dunno#obviously losing a pet is easier to deal with than losing a parent but it still blows dude i hate this#(* a parent that you had a good relationship with. i know that im very fortunate in that regard. not everyone had that and i need to count#my blessings)#idk this feels harder than losing my childhood dog because jojo was basically my constant companion for the past several years#after dad died i got suicidally depressed and didnt leave the house and was unemployed for a good chunk of time and she kept me company#taking her for walks and hikes was the only thing i enjoyed doing and the only thing that got me out of the house. she was always there#(also there's probably some psychological component to the fact that we adopted her specifically to be a companion for dad#when he was wheelchair-bound and couldnt go anywhere. so she kept him company. and then after he died she did the same for me#so. idk. like.... i feel like theres something there lol)#mia.txt#animal death
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#having one of those nights where Iâm so desperate to be out of here that Iâm searching prices for plots or land and yurts#why do rent and house prices have to be so high đ„Č#like get me the fuck out of here holy shit#I cannot believe that like just a few years ago me and my dad were fine and not I canât fucking stand being around him#I found out recently heâs been bemoaning never getting to be a grandfather again and Iâm like#gee Iâm sorry that I have a major medical condition that makes me horrifically ill and all you can focus on is that it makes me infertile#news flash! even if I didnât have this I never wanted kids anyways!!!#and I canât get that fact through his head#despite me always very loudly voicing that I didnât want kids from a young age heâs co Vinceâs this is a recent thing#fucking wild man way to show that you never paid attention to what Iâve ever said#also shoutout to never paying attention to how fucking sick Iâve ever been either#but you know youâre the real victim in this situation#I swear to fuck I am getting closer and closer to going no contact when we finally leave#I am for sure going limited contact but like#literally doesnât care about the suffering Iâve been through in the past 22 years#I am once again reduced to only being a fucking uterus#itâs so fun dealing with the physical pain from said problem the emotional pain of him being an asshat and the dysphoria#I think he thinks the nonbinary thing is just a phase đ« #I am very much in fml territory tonight#wish it wasnât a work night I need a fucking drink#I wanna fucking scream and cry and leave and just never come back
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The 'Enjoying watch you suffer' line in Broadcast has always been hard to pin down; Tim's leg getting broken is the biggest incident in Entry #35, so it's natural to want to tie the two together, but it seems to fit so indelicately into what we know about the timeline of totheark's internal relationship that it almost causes more problems than it resolves. However, even though it's very blink and miss it, Tim does actually manage to stab Alex in the arm before he gets knocked down -- we hear Alex cry out in pain, can see blood on the blade when Jay picks it up, and then in the recovered corrupted footage from that tape that Jay posts as Entry #36 Alex says "I did what I had to... he'd just stabbed me" -- and that injury being what totheark was trying to call attention to, to me, reads a lot more clear and consistent than anything else does
#N posts stuff#marble hornets#it's so hard to figure out lol bc Tim's leg is The Thing so it feels like they should be linked but like it just doesn't seem to flow#and the timeline of s2 is so mangled by the mix mash and retreading ground of all the tapes#ie; Present!Jay uploading Past!Jay's (and Past!Alex's) tapes and commenting on them while Present!TTA responds to both#that it's hard to figure out if TTA is still working together in that Present!Time or if it's Only in the old tapes and they fell out like#Immediately after Jay got the code for the safe from them - which is Possible? We do know that Tim and Brian separated#like Right after they'd managed to separate Jay and Jess but IDK if that separation would account for the kind of anger implied in#the sentiment 'enjoying watching you suffer' you know? And Jay doesn't get Tim's medical records until s3 - which we KNOW#is the Final Death Knell in TTA's relationship and i don't think Brian would have sat on those for so long so i feel like he hadn't#found them by this point in s2 - that must have come later. so That makes this line feel so out of place in their relationship#BUT if Brian is paying more attention to Alex than Tim at this point then it makes A Lot more sense if it's directed at him#and since the creators Specifically included that corrupted footage that makes Sure to get 'he stabbed me' clear in audio AND#in Jay's subtitles - I wonder if that's an attempt to draw attention to that injury and maybe clarify the TTA upload a little bit?#OR you know maybe I'm reading into it all too much but hey. with this series that's actually a pretty solid living so#mh lb#i'm rewatching bc i'm about to start giving the Bleed More fic another attempt at getting finished and finalized so. keep an eye out :3c
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I just think it'd be neat if they were separate guys who could interact
#Emile's Arts#Mario#mario fanart#Some Mario cool downs as I finally put my pen down for the first time sense 2am#I think about them I think about them a lot#You all know my version of Metal Mario but what about Doctor Mario have I explained my thoughts on him???#I know Paper Mario is also usually widely accepted as an Alternate AU Mario#but I don't I think they're the same guy#But that's only because I didn't play past Sticker Star#So to me the Paper series is just an Artstyle difference until SPM where we ACTUALLY go to an alternate 2D dimension#I made Metal Mario look too tall his chest was supposed to be broader I messed up fjgdfjg#Anyway them I love them PLEASE ask me about my them#Because they are. So So So So Silly#Mostly Metal Mario I'm obsessed with him he's my baby boy#But Doctor Mario too I am rattling him I think he's silly. Doctor Medical Malpractice over here.#Also send me more alternate AU Marios to draw these three are the only ones to come to mind#I want to make them all interact after I've rested my brain some
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Ugh
Probably gonna private this later
TW Illness and cancer warning
#I haven't been doing well the last week.#So uhh after a nice week of having fun with my family I got a job that I don't know if I'm fit to handle#So yeah that was eating up all my free time for the past few weeks and I was just stressed and had no more free time for art#Also I felt very unsafe at the job and I was never given any safety warning if something happened#I just felt too guilty to say anything but I did and I feel bad because that place there is short staffed and the people there where nice#But still. I just don't feel safe and I don't think I can handle it#And while that has been happening uhh my biological texted me that he has cancer#I feel comfortable enough to say that I hate him but I can't help but feel awful and terrible about it#I don't know I sort of feel guilty for feeling that way after what she did to me and my brothers and my mom#I keep him at arms length but I don't know#I'm scared of him because of what he did to one of my brothers that made him cut content with my dad#And that said brother is also going through a lot medical wise#Just been not in the best place it may get better soon. I'm trying my best to get something animated#But yeah my dad has only said he had cancer but not a certain type#He's a piece of shit but I don't think he will lie about that and he said we shouldn't get it in the future#He also hasn't mentioned what stage of cancer he has or anything he mentioned something about healing#But he also hasn't said he doesn't know how long he'll feel well for#I just don't know how o feel anymore
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Man, life is just depressing right now
#the one thing that was keeping me sane has gone away#i would always say 'yeah every medical professional has given up and there's nothing they can do. but at least i have my PTs' well...#my current PT's are the only ones that ever treated me like a person and they always kept trying...but they've given up too#basically Clare was like we haven't made any gains in over a year and your state keeps getting worse. nothing we do helps#so it may be time to consider stopping bc throwing away money isnt helpful either#and i argued that it's damage control and improves my quality of life and i have a progressive disease i never was going to get better#not to mention mentally it helps to know there's people in my corner and at least they haven't given up on me#but now they have and im feeling so very very alone and hopeless#it's not like this is a surprise right? ive always been beyond help and it's an incurable degenerative disease#but still getting to this point fucking sucks#and i went to the new neurologist and he had nothing but crazy experiments bc ive tried fucking everything#and then to top it off the only doctor i trusted from when i was a teenager for one specific med issue had also said the same#literally this week she was like there's nothing more. i cant help find someone else. sorry kid. wishing you the best#and Xmas is a depressing and challenging time too#and i have 400 med problems while trying to find work#the past few weeks have pulverized me and i havent stopped crying in days#so yeah. terribly terribly alone#and im trying not to go down any spirals and havent. my therapist was out this week. but im seriously questioning the point#at this point maybe i should give up too#im being stubborn bc no i cant go yet i havent seen the lights yet or read my new books#but honestly i havent been able to read partially bc im afraid if i do im losing the last tethers to earth#there's not much or anything to live for#it's at times like these you truly realize how much you dont want to die. you just wish you could live#but im broke and freezing and in pain and alone. this story's ending fucking sucks#my dbt is coming in clutch but seriously. is there a point anymore?#never got to live. sick since a kid. hell was always here#sorry for the depressing state of things ill go back to being insane in a moment#p
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#tag talk#watching media not in English is honestly so fun. my brain loves trying to pick out sentence structure and individual words#as someone who was obsessed with writing and learning codes as a kid it's unsurprising#I've realized that I very well could finally become multilingual and it's a really exciting thought#I just wish language learning apps didn't suck so much. I very well might have to start keeping a notebook for vocabulary#but I've been watching Puerta 7 and listening exclusively to music in Spanish for about the past week#and next year my brother and I are gonna take Spanish together at the community college once we move#cause he wants to travel internationally and maybe live abroad so language learning would be super useful#he's not as good with language as I am but that'll just mean I get to help him with it#anyway. I think I'm gonna dig out a notebook and start planning how I'm gonna do this#I really really wanna get good enough to read books and articles in Spanish. cause reading is cool and great and builds vocab#I think this is only possible now that I've been medicated for a while.#like. I wish I could have done this years ago but I accept the fact that I've been on a journey#and chasing your dreams is only possible once you're in a position to do so. my brain was too fucked before.#so external motivation was the only way I could make progress. whereas now I have the ability to internally motivate.#I can do dishes. clean my room. fold laundry. make food. and finally learn a language in my own way.#I wish language learning apps didn't fucking suck so doggamn much. they're really the worst. even as a kid I hated Rosetta Stone.#I needed to find my own way to learn and I'm still figuring it out but I will. I know I will.#I will be successful and I will chase the things I love in life and even if things go wrong I will work to improve my life#and part of that self actualization is learning the language I've grown up with and yet never learned. and then I can learn other languages#because I genuinely wanna learn a lot of languages. hell I taught myself a little bit of spoken elvish as a kid. it's in my blood I guess.#being monolingual is genuinely distressing for me tbh.#shit I should ask my sibling for book recommendations and I can buy something to start pulling vocabulary from.#for now I can pull words from songs or tv. that's a good starting point. even if I prefer the aesthetic of studying a book#except first I'm gonna fold my laundry and change my bedsheets#bye y'all
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(BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS)
I just finished reading The Book of Bill and I am kindof losing my mind over some of this stuff.
I had wondered if Alex Hirsch might make Bill sympathetic in some way and oh boy I was not expecting him to do it so successfully (and without cheapening Bill's character).
So, we learn that Bill was born into a 2D world... as a mutant who can see into the third dimension. He claims he was absolutely loved by all, but when talking about his powers, he mentions under Pyrokinesis:
"Cipher, Cipher, he's insane / Starting fires with his brain." The kids in grade school could be so cruel. But where are they now, huh? WHERE ARE THEY NOW?
So probably not quite as liked as he was letting on. To add to that, there's the silly straw page, which looks like silly nonsense until you decipher some of the codes:
"EYE DOCTOR OF A DIFFERENT KIND / WHO WANTS TO MAKE HIS PATIENTS BLIND" "THE DOCTOR SAYS / THREE SIPS A DAY / WILL MAKE THE VISIONS / GO AWAY"
I wasn't sure what this meant until I saw someone point out... he was seeing a third dimension that no one else could see. His parents probably took him to the eye doctor to try to "fix" him. Which, speaking of his eye doctor, the coded message in the section about human eyeballs says something interesting:
"MY OPTOMETRIST NEVER SAW IT COMING"
It could be a joke given beforehand he's talking about dissecting a human eye, but given the previous hints of medical abuse, I wouldn't put it past him that he tried to get revenge on his eye doctor.
Oh yeah and the whole thing about him setting his entire dimension on fire? Yeah it turns out it was entirely a mistake (he just wanted everyone to understand the third dimension he was seeing so they could be free of only two dimensions), he was so traumatized by it he blacks out when trying to recall it. He deeply, deeply regrets it, and...
"What? Your ENTIRE home dimension? destroyed? How? By what?" Bill looked distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him. "By a monster."
He sees himself as a monster.
And yet, he's not some innocent, misunderstood being. He still revels in causing pain and chaos. He's terrible in general, but becomes incredibly abusive toward Ford.
"YOU'RE MY PROPERTY. DON'T FORGET IT. The hillbilly abandoned you, your father won't want you returning without millions, you have no friends, and if you died out here in the snow, who would even miss you?"
Which... speaking of him and Ford...
Yes, yes, I know people ship them. But like, whether you see their relationship as romantic or platonic (I see it as the latter), there's some interesting parallels to be made here.
Both Bill and Ford are mutants who were mocked for their being different. (Bill was not physically a mutant, as far as we know, but more in the sense of him having vision stronger than that of everyone else in his dimension, and also having special powers. And he does describe himself as a mutant.) Both became social outcasts, separated from their families but still haunted by them (Ford seeing commercials of Stan on TV and running across old photos of him and his brother, Bill being haunted by his family in some form). Neither could return home for one reason or another. Both more powerful than their peers (Ford intellectually, Bill in terms of actual powers). Both of them isolated and alone. (Yes, Bill does have the Henchmaniacs, but they seem like shallow friends, and only really seem to follow him out of a desire to have a place to party.)
Ford was not aware of most of this, aside from knowing that Bill could not go home because his dimension was destroyed. But Bill absolutely saw himself in Ford. There was no other person he tried to use whom he felt a stronger connection to.
And he actually seems to care about Ford--he actually gave him a birthday present, and when Ford didn't like it, he decided to get drunk and party with him instead to make up for it.
And then when Ford realizes what Bill's plan actually is and refuses to go along with it, and fights back no matter what Bill does, Bill completely breaks down.
After living for trillions of years, he met someone who was like him, and that person rejected him.
He goes berserk, wreaking havoc, being caught by the dimensional authority that he's been taunting for most of his life.
And then after dying and being cast out of hell for being too annoying, he winds up faced with the Axolotl, who sends him to therapy, where he continues to break down further, sending out the book in a desperate attempt to find someone, anyone who will help him break loose and wreak havoc once again.
"You have no friends, and if you died ... who would even miss you?"
I don't know, Bill. Who would even miss you?
In short,
[ID: The front and back of one of Bill's Valentines cards. On the front is a black void with Bill Cipher lying down without his hat, gazing blankly upwards, with the text "I DON'T WANT TO DIE ALONE" above him. On the back is a simple white "TO/FROM" in red, with a red outline illustration of Bill spontaneously growing a mouth and eating a realistic, bloody heart. /end ID]
#bill cipher#stanford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls spoilers#the book of bill#the book of bill spoilers#oh gosh I haven't thought this hard about gravity falls in so long
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âBelieve the briefingâs down that way, LT.â Soap says, walking alongside the Lieutenant as they make their way to meet the rest of the task force, when he notices the older man starts turning down the wrong hallway.
âSmall detour.â Ghost replies in his deep Manchester accent, continuing on his way, uncaring whether the Sergeant follows him or not.
âWhere we goinâ?â The Scot turns to quickly follow him, curiosity piqued, knowing Ghost is nearly always religiously early to briefings. He has however noticed him appearing nearer to the start time recently now that he thinks about it, something that wouldnât mean anything should it have been anyone else, but with Ghost, these minuscule changes never came without reason.
âJusâ have to scratch an itch.â Ghost utters, barely glancing sideways to see the bewildered expression on Soapâs face.
Itâs not long before Soap recognizes that theyâre on their way to passing by the med bay, confusion worsening when he notices that the Lieutenant keeps fidgeting with something in his pocket. Something thatâs making a - crinkling noise? Just as they reach the doors, he watches him pull something out- almost doing a double take at the sight.
âWhat the fuck are ye doinâ with a bunch oâ lollies?â The Scot asks, befuddled.
âJusâ shut up and watch, Johnny.â Ghost quickly murmurs, pushing through the doors and walking in a confidently past the nurses station without a care, as though he does this every day. Maybe he does-
Soap tentatively follows behind him at a slower pace, unsure of what heâs walking towards exactly, but utterly intrigued nonetheless. As he turns around a corner, he sees Ghost has just walked up to you, one of the bonnie medics heâs seen around.
âMorning.â You smile softly at him, warmth apparent in your gaze towards the tall man. âWas wondering if you were coming or not.â
âPick a colour.â The Lieutenant practically grunts at you, holding up a handful of colourful lollipops towards you in his large gloved hand, ignoring your teasing.
âThink Iâll do red. Matches my nails.â You say, leaning towards him to reach a hand out and pluck said lolly from his grasp. Both men watch as you remove the wrapper, pink tongue peeking out from your mouth to wet your plush lower lip. Soap feels the wires in his brain click as well as his pants suddenly tighten when he sees how you wrap your lips around the sucker, closing your eyes and letting out a small, satisfied hum as you taste the candy and pull it out with a âplopâ.
âThank you, Ghost.â You blink up at him sweetly, sticking your tongue out to lick at the lollipop this time before sealing it back in the wetness of your mouth, eyes locked with the man before you the whole time.
The first time you met the Lieutenant was while treating him in this very med bay. Already enamoured with you to begin with, the deal had been sealed when you had pulled out a few lollies from your coats pocket, offering them to him. He had come back to see you the next day, his own stash of candy in hand, saying something about how it was only fair that the doctors got sweets every once in a while as well. âEvery once in a whileâ turned out to be every single morning you worked, truly nothing more than an excuse to see you.
And if you looked up at him so sweetly as you licked at the treat, his blood never not rushing down south in the process, well then that was just an added bonus wasnât it?
Readjusting his tactical pants and licking his own lips, Johnny had never been so grateful to Ghost before.
#call of duty#call of duty fanfic#call of duty fic#simon riley#simon ghost riley#cod fanfic#ghost x reader#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley x you#cod simon riley#simon ghost riley x reader#simon fluff#simon ghost riley x you#cod simon ghost riley#call of duty fluff#cod fluff#cod x reader#johnny soap mactavish
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be my angel
in which BAU fem!reader was injured on the job, but is refusing painkillers at the hospital. spencer thinks he knows why.
fluff (+a little angst) warnings/tags: established relationship, hospital stuff, reader got beat up by an unsub, discussions of spencer's past addiction, mentions of period cramps, reader ends up being administered some sort of painkiller a/n: another draft i found in my literal hundreds of pages of abandoned wips and fixed up cause it's cute, I hope you like!!!
Spencer is tearing through the hospital. They all keep saying youâre going to be okay, but what does that even mean? Why is nobody telling him anything? Heâs not even sure he heard what the orderly at the front desk said, but his feet are carrying him with a strident purpose through the winding white halls, so he has to assume he at least subconsciously knows where heâs going.Â
Finally he spots Penelope, a beacon in her candy-colored clothing, speaking to a doctor in hushed tones. Penelope sees him approaching and turns away from the doctor, looking harried and exhausted.Â
âIs she okay? What happened?â Spencer demands, before either of the others can say a word.Â
âSheâs okay,â the doctor assures. âShe was beat up pretty badâconcussion, broken ribs, some bruising that looks worse than it is. There was a clean shot through her arm, butââÂ
His blood runs cold. Nobody told him you were shot. Why had nobody told him you were shot?Â
âI need to see her.âÂ
The doctor frowns, glancing between the two agents.Â
âIâm sorry, are you her spouse?âÂ
âYes. No, not yet, I justâI need to see her, please. Now.âÂ
âSir, unless sheââÂ
âJust let him see her!â Penelope practically yells. âShe wants him here, believe me.â Â
The doctor clenches her jaw and scribbles something on her clipboard.Â
âOkay. Maybe you can try to convince her to accept some painkillers.âÂ
Spencerâs frown deepens.Â
âSheâs refusing pain management?âÂ
âWe gave her as much ibuprofen as we could, but she refused anything stronger than that. She has to be in a lot of pain right now, and thereâs no background of addiction.âÂ
âIâll talk to her,â Spencer says, already twisting the silver door handle. He has a sneaking suspicion as to why you denied pain treatment, and it makes him feel incredibly guilty. More than he already did, after this entire debacle.Â
The sight of you, bloodied and bruised and obviously suffering has his heart splintering right down the middle. Whatever meager semblance of a smile he can scrounge up and offer is reflected back to him on youâwhich only makes him feel worse. As always, youâre putting on a brave face.Â
âHey,â Spencer says quietly as he closes the door behind him.Â
âHi,â you croak. âHow do I look?âÂ
He approaches, sitting on the edge of the bed and pushing your hair away from your face.Â
âHow do you feel? The doctor told me you wouldnât accept pain medication,â he murmurs.Â
You sniff.Â
âI feel okay. Did she tell you itâs not as bad as it looks?âÂ
But your voice is so small, so wavery and weak, that he knows youâre lying.Â
âSweetheart...âÂ
Youâve been holding it together since the unsub beat you nearly unconscious. You held it together as he ran away, even got a couple shots in before he turned around and returned fire. You held it together while you sat against the dirty truck, bleeding out, not sure if your team was coming, and you held it together in the ambulance, and for the past thirty minutes in this hospital bed. But all it takes is one gentle word from Spencer, with that concerned, solicitous look in his eye, and the floodgates are opening. Tears spring up in your eyes and begin silently falling down your dirtied cheeks.Â
âItâs okay!â you attempt to reassure him, affecting cheeriness even through the tears. âIt doesnât hurt. Iâm fine!âÂ
He says your name soft and low and he tries his best to keep his tone even though he is liable to burst into tears or start yelling at someone (not you) at any minute. Â
âI know thatâs not true. You have broken ribs and a gunshot wound. I know how badly it hurts to breathe and how it feels every time you move your arm. That is too much damage for over-the-counter anti-inflammatories. You need real analgesics.âÂ
âI donât,â you whisper. Your teary eyes make his whole body ache. He squeezes your handâthe one thatâs not connected to the wounded arm.Â
âBecause of me?â You stare at him blankly, as if youâre shocked he was able to put two and two together. âI promise you donât need to worry about that.âÂ
You sniffle.Â
âBut what ifâwhat if they give me the drugs and I get all weird and itâs, itâs like... triggering for you, or something?âÂ
âItâs been a really long time since Iâve worried about that. Iâd rather see you a little tired and out of it than in extreme pain and trying to pretend youâre not. You getting the pain relief you need in a medical emergency is not going to make me relapse.âÂ
âBut I really think I could go without,â you begin, voice already tightening around a cry. âIâveâIâve had period cramps that were worse than this.âÂ
Despite himself, he chuckles. Goes back to stroking your hair.Â
The laughter fades quickly. All the pain youâre in is so evident in your eyes. The dissociative glassiness, the tension around them, the bloodshot qualityâhe's seen it many times before, and he hates it on you.Â
âWill you please tell them youâre ready to take something? They wonât give you Dilaudid. Itâs too strong. Theyâll give you something that Iâd have no interest in anyway.âÂ
âNot funny,â you whisper.Â
He ignores this.Â
âWill you let me call the doctor back in?âÂ
You take a deep, shuddering breathâor at least, you try to, before youâre loosing a sharp squeak that deteriorates into a little sob. The ribs.Â
Spencer doesnât bother asking again, just gets up and begins to walk away as efficiently as his legs will carry him. You need painkillers and he thinks it might be fastest to just fetch the doctor or a nurse from the hallway.Â
âWait,â you plead. Â
He stops. Reminds himself that you need him right nowânot his medical opinions. Spencer turns back around and approaches again, crouching by your bedside this time.Â
âWhat, honey?âÂ
âI donât...âÂ
You trail off, overcome by something like fear in the width and shine and nervous dart of your eyes. Spencer knows, everybody at the BAU knows, that showing fear to a serial killer will get you killed that much quicker. During your time alone with the unsub, which is a can of worms Spencer literally cannot psychologically open right now, you had to put on your bravest face. Even while you were being beaten within an inch of your life. Even when you thought you were going to die, alone, and that your teamâthat Spencerâwasn't coming back for you. Because thatâs the kind of thing you have to do to cope when youâre at rock bottom. But you were terrified. Petrified. That doesnât just go awayâand Spencer knows itâll be bumping against the surface until it finds a way out. Â
He has to remember that just because you look unafraid and you act unafraid doesnât mean you arenât.Â
âYou were so brave,â he manages after heâs sure he can say it without incident, swiping moisture from your cheek. âYou did everything exactly right.âÂ
âI know,â you whisper, chin trembling. Spencer knows you, and he knows this kind of trauma well enough to know that youâre thinking, I did everything exactly right, and it wasnât enough. I did everything exactly right and this is what I have to show for it.Â
âBut nobody needs you to act like it wasnât hard, okay? You donât need to pretend like it doesnât hurt. You were so, so brave, angel. You donât have to be brave anymore.âÂ
Your eyes squeeze shut, sending a new wash of tears over your tacky cheeks. A few moments pass. You say nothing. He hopes youâre not going to hide away inside yourself like he did.Â
âWill you please, please, let me get the doctor?âÂ
At least this time you donât immediately say no.Â
âWill you come right back?âÂ
âOf course.âÂ
Finally, you nod your hesitant assent, and Spencer presses a careful kiss to your forehead.Â
A few minutes later, the doctorâwho was shocked that Spencer was able to so quickly change your very made-up mindâis back, and so is Spencer. It only takes a moment for them to determine the best course of action for you and soon the fist around his heart is loosening its grip as he watches some of the agony melting from your eyes.Â
âBetter?â he murmurs as the nurse whoâd administered the drugs leaves, fanning his thumb over the underside of your wrist. You nod, already appearing sleepy.Â
âCan you lie down with me?âÂ
He smiles at the way your words slip against each other, simply relieved that youâre able to relax and no longer in extreme pain.Â
âHospital beds arenât rated for two people.âÂ
âSpencer.âÂ
Itâs enough for him to climb onto the bedânot that he was ever going to deny you what you wanted to begin with. The fit isnât exactly perfectâhe's a bit too long and combined the two of you are just slightly too wideâbut with some finagling itâs comfortable enough. Spencer has slipped his arm underneath you and your head is on his shoulder and heâs so glad to have you in his arms and so grateful that youâre okay he does something almost like praying in his head as he kisses your hair.Â
âHey. Ask me about my bruises.âÂ
âWhy? Do they still hurt?âÂ
âYou should see the other guy.âÂ
Itâs dumb and it doesnât make sense because you didnât bother waiting for him to actually set the joke upâbut he smiles dryly nonetheless.Â
âCan you please give me... I donât know, 36 hours before you start making jokes about almost dying?âÂ
âClock starts now.âÂ
âThank you.â He feels your lips curve into a half-conscious smile against his neck. Itâs a wonderful feeling. âHow are your ribs? Breathing feels okay?âÂ
âMhm. Love breathing.âÂ
âMhm. And your arm?âÂ
âLike I got shot.âÂ
âWell, thatâs pretty much unavoidable. But not as bad as before, right?âÂ
âRight. Spencer?âÂ
âWhat, my love?âÂ
A little pleased puff of air warms his shoulder. He carefully rubs your hip.Â
âWill you tell me how brave I was again?âÂ
He takes a silent, very deep breath. Â
âYou were incredibly brave. And smart, too. Iâm really proud of you for how you handled that situation. Iâm so sorry you had to go through that, but I donât think anyone could have handled it better. Especially when you chose to stay put by the truck, instead of chase him. I know that wasnât what you wanted to do, but it was the right choice.âÂ
âI thought you guys maybe werenât coming,â you murmur, no hint of sadness in your smushed, flat voiceâlike youâre barely awake. âI waited half an hour and I thought you werenât gonna find me.âÂ
âAngel, I will always find you. We didnât stop looking even once, as soon as we noticed you were gone. Iâm just sorry I wasnât with Emily and Rossi when they got to you.âÂ
ââNelope told me... she told me you got really angry and scary.âÂ
He stares at the ceiling and considers this.Â
âI could see... how what I was feeling would be interpreted that way. I was pretty angry. But not at Penelope or any of them. I was mostly just scared.âÂ
âIâm sorry I scared you,â you whisper. âAnd Iâm sorry if I made you mad.âÂ
âYou did not. I wasnât mad at you. And itâs not your fault that I got scared. You were just trying to do your job. None of this is your fault.âÂ
âShe also said that you said fuck like... three times.âÂ
âMm... doesnât sound like me,â he evades. You giggle, and the sound is more a relief than any drug he could take.
âNo, seriously, Iâm so mad I missed it. I love hearing you swear. Tell me what you saidâand you have to cause Iâm all messed up so I get whatever I want.âÂ
He sighs in mock annoyance.Â
âWell, sheâs wrong. I only said fuck once. I used fucking as an intensifier twice.âÂ
You hum.Â
âSexy.âÂ
âAlright,â Spencer laughs, flushing as he moves his hand to your shoulder. âGo to sleep before I tell them to up your dosage, weirdo.âÂ
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds fic
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nurse
Simon "Ghost" Riley x Fem!Reader
Summary: Ghost avoids you but it's not what you think.
Warning: Slight Time Skips, Kinda Asshole Ghost?, Smut (18+), Use of Y/N, Language (?).
Word Count: 4.6K
Note: Now, I know in my master list I said that right now I would only be writing for the Slytherin Boys......but I have spiraled back into my Call of Duty, specifically Ghost. Now this is just an experiment, I don't know how this will go over but if you guys like it then maybeeee I'll post my other fandom fics that I have.
Also! This is a birthday gift for my beautiful gem, @slytherinslut0 , so everyone thank her and wish her a happy birthday. As always, @cafekitsune is on the banner.
Taskforce 141 didnât pay any attention when they were told that they would have a new nurse on the base. They assumed it would be another male, just like everyone who got employed here.
So, only one could imagine their shock when the baseâs doctor, Dr. Moscaw, introduced a pretty little thing like you to the team.
âThis is Y/N. She will work under me. Your first point of contact for anything medical-wise.â Moscaw spoke, âDonât go scaring her off, boys.â
There were grumbles and protests as Dr. Moscaw left you with the team. You cleared your throat as you gave them all a nervous smile. All their eyes were on you, surveying you almost like prey. A certain man with a skull mask being the most intense one. âUm, right. You all desperately need an annual check-up. So, whenever you all have a moment, please stop by the medical ward. I would love to update your records and meet you all.â
Before any of them could say anything, you had scurried off.
Over the next few weeks, they all came in one by one. Introducing themselves as you went through updating their records.
First came Captain Price. You liked to think that he came in to lead by example and not to get out of his mountain of paperwork. Then Kyle came in the next day. He begged you to call him âGazâ, saying that nobody on base ever calls him Kyle.
Not long after Gaz came, Johnny waltzed into your office. He was flirty but overall friendly. Johnny, just like Gaz, begged you to call him Soap like everyone else. He was the one who referred to you as a breath of fresh air amidst the testosterone-filled air. Often, he and Gaz came to your office. They always claimed to be checking up on you, but you knew it was because they were hiding from their duties.
âWhere isâŠ. um, Ghost? Or is his name Simon? Itâs two first names on this file.â You asked, furrowing your eyebrows at the lack of information in his records. Soap chuckled, glancing up from his phone to you. âGhost is the name heâs gonna give âya. Itâs the name that we all know him by.â
âA field name, I assume?â You asked, looking up from your computer. Gaz and Soap nodded. âYep. His name for plenty of reasons, but thatâs neither here nor there.â Gaz waved his hand dismissively.
âWell, is he going to come in for a check-up? He doesnât have another doctor or anything listed.â You sighed. âHis medical record is empty. There is nothing on here, other than his name and height. No birthday, no past medication history, nothing.â
âOf course, thatâs all thatâs on there. Thatâs all anyone knows about him.â Soap laughed. âHeâs not gonna come in here for a check-up.â
âWhat? Why not?â You asked, closing your computer.
âToo much information.â Gaz shrugged. âNobody knows anything about him. Itâs a shocker that he even allowed his real name to be on those records.â
âSo, nobody knows if this guy even goes to the doctor?â You threw your hands up in exasperation. âThatâs insane.â
âYa may be right, but that means nothing to Ghost.â Soap said.
âAnd insane is basically his middle name. The man does whatever he wants.â Gaz added.
âDo you think he will come in if I just ask?â You pondered to the men.
Gaz and Soap glanced at each other before shrugging. âIf you bat those pretty eyelashes at any man on this base, theyâll be eating out the palm of your hand,â Soap said.
âBut Ghost isnât like the average man. Heâs not easily swayed like most.â Gaz added, âBut I mean, it wonât hurt to try.â
With the encouragement from Gaz and Soap to just try to ask him, you spent the next few weeks attempting to track Ghost down. Unfortunately for you, he lived up to his name very well. It was like every time you went looking for him, everyone had âjust seen him.â
Eventually, you found him, by pure coincidence. You were walking to your car, getting ready to leave the base for the day when your eyes landed on a 6â4, muscular man who donned a skull balaclava. You hadnât seen him since the day that Price had introduced you to the team. He seemed bigger and a bit more intimidating than before, but your determination outweighed your nervousness.
You walked up to him, clearing your throat. Ghost stopped fiddling with his motorcycle to drag his eyes up to your face. His eyes were dark and analytical as he scanned your face before tracing down your body. You felt self-conscious of his wondering gaze.
âWhatcha âya want?â His voice was deep, his accent coming out heavier than you thought it was.
âUm, Iâm the new nurse.â You squeaked out before clearing your throat.
âI know.â
âRight.â You took a deep breath. âYour medical records are empty and youâre the only one who hasnât come in for a check-up.â
There was a brief silence between you two as you waited for him to say something, anything. When you got the hint that he wasnât going to say anything, you decided to just push forward and ask.
âWill you come in for one? And maybe introduce yourself a little more?â
Ghost stared at you a little longer before turning back to his motorcycle. âNo.â
Your eyes widened at the blatant refusal. You raised your eyebrow, crossing your arms. âWhat do you mean ânoâ?â
âDo âya not know what ânoâ means? Arenât âya educated?â Ghost grunted; his back still turned to you.
âYou canât justâŠ. You must fill out these records somehow!â
âNo, I donât.â
You narrowed your eyes at Ghost, huffing slightly. âItâs mandatory to at least get an annual check-up.â
âSo, Iâve heard. Donât care.â He spoke again, throwing one leg over the motorcycle. He started it up, gripping the handles. His eyes focused on your face again as he revved the engine.
âBut-â
Before you could even think about responding, Ghost had sped off, leaving you in the dust.
âAnd he just sped off?â Soap laughed. Gaz smacked his arm, giving you an apologetic look.
âIgnore Soap. He has a terrible sense of humor.â Gaz rolled his eyes. âBut we told you he was hard to sway.â
âI just donât understand why he doesnât want to come in.â You groaned, âMaybe he just doesnât want to get to know me?â
âItâs Ghost, you arenât supposed to understand him.â Gaz shrugged. âBut I doubt itâs you that heâs against.â
You let another groan, causing the two men to chuckle.
âHell, Darlinâ, you might just make the man nervous as hell. As you can see, we donât have many pretty females around here.â Soap leaned back in his chair, grinning at you.
âMe? Make Ghost nervous? Please.â You raised an eyebrow, rolling your eyes. Soap shrugged, âYou never know, he could be.â
âYou never know,â Gaz said, agreeing with Soap.
âWhatever.â You muttered, ending the conversation.
Weeks had passed and Ghost gave no sign of even considering stepping into the medical ward or trying to talk to you. He evaded you any chance he got. You told Dr. Moscaw and Price about the predicament with Ghost. Both waved it off and said, âHeâs Ghost, thatâs just how he is.
When your official first three months of working on the base had come around, Soap and Gaz had invited you out to the bar to celebrate.
âItâll be everyone. Cap, Laswell, König, hell, even Ghost said he would come.â Soap smiled at you. You scoffed slightly at the revelation that Ghost was going to show his masked face at the bar. âAre we sure heâs coming for me, or rather, the drinks?â You asked, your eyes focused on the computer screen in front of you.
Gaz chuckled. âHe refused to go until we said it was a celebration for you.â
âFunny that the man that evades me wants to come to my celebration.â You muttered.
âYou know, heâs probably around you more than you think,â Soap said, causing you to look up at him with a raised eyebrow. Soap shrugged, continuing, âI mean, heâs known for being around without others knowing, hence the name Ghost.â
âLike he sees me, but I donât see him?â You asked. Soap and Gaz nodded.
âThink of it like he is collecting information on you. The poor guy lives and breathes our missions and the military. Itâs all he knows. It works with the idea that you make the man nervous.â Gaz said, patting your back as he and Soap filed out of your office.
Gazâs and Soapâs words stuck to you. Maybe you had gone about approaching Ghost all wrong. He was quieter than Gaz and Soap and obviously more secretive, given the blank medical record and the mask. Maybe you should let him approach you, let him feel you out to see if youâre trustworthy or not.
When the night of the celebration rolled around, you promised yourself that you would not pester Ghost. Despite the growing need to get to know him and your nursing instincts to make sure he was healthy; you were going to let him come to you.
You walked into the bar, tugging slightly at your dress that rose from sitting in the taxi. Your black mini dress hugged your curves and had a low neckline that showed off your cleavage with your matching strappy heels. Although Soap and Gaz had to you to come dressed up, you debated calling the taxi back and going home to change. You were going to be with your co-workers, who were most likely going to be in jeans.
You sighed, pushing open the door to the bar. Your eyes snapped over to the large table in the back of the bar where all your coworkers sat. âY/N!â Gaz yelled, jumping up from his seat. He grabbed your arm, escorting you to the table. Everyone shot you a smile, except König and Ghost, who both donned a balaclava. Although, you could tell from the crinkle in Königâs eyes that he was smiling at you.
âThe guest of honor is finally here.â Laswell smiled at you. âCongratulations on sticking it out at the base for three months. I must admit, I thought these boys would scare you away by now.â
âNo, Iâm tougher than I look.â You joked, âPlus, everyone is nice. I felt welcomed.â
Gaz and Soap gave Ghost an unmistakable side eye that you caught, and if you caught it, then everyone at the table caught it. You also didnât miss the narrowed eyes that Ghost gave back to Gaz and Soap.
âA round of shots! For our new family member.â Price winked at you, giving you a warm smile.
Thatâs how the night went on, chatting and drinks getting passed around. It didnât take you long to get buzzed. You kept true to your promise to yourself and didnât go looking for interactions with Ghost.
However, you felt his eyes on you. It was like they never left you, always following your every movement.
It felt familiar.
Ghost stayed quiet the whole night, not cracking a chuckle at any jokes or taking part in the conversations. His eyes wandered the bar as if he was looking for any type of escape. Whenever your eyes met his, he looked away, his eyes hardening in the process.
âI have to go to the bathroom.â You said, feeling the alcohol finally run through you and back up your throat. Although everyone was too occupied with their conversations to hear you. You stumbled your way to the bathroom, pushing open the door. You wasted no time, bending over the toilet and vomiting what little contents that were in your stomach.
âI knew I shouldâve eaten beforeâŠ.â You whispered to yourself.
âYeah, âya should have. Not very nurse of âya.â A deep voice echoed behind you.
You jumped, turning around, clutching your chest as your eyes landed on Ghost. He stood behind you, arms crossed, as he leaned against the stall door.
âGod, when the fuck did you get in here?â You asked, your eyes traveling down his figure. This would be the first time that you had ever seen Ghost in civilian clothes. Even on relaxed days on the base, Ghost wore full tactical gear. Tonight, he opted for a compression tee and black sweatpants, as if he was planning to go to the gym after all of this.
Which wouldnât be surprising for Ghost.
âI didnât know you had tattoos.â Your eyes landed on his sleeve, which seemed to move as he unconsciously flexed his muscles.
âI know âya didnât.â Ghost said, offering his hand out to you. You took it gratefully, standing up to your two feet. Ghost handed you some mouthwash and gum, along with your purse.
âDidnât want nobody shifting through âya stuff.â Ghost said when he saw the look that you gave him, âAlso thought âya might want to touch up âya make up.â
âThank you.â You gave him a small smile. He nodded, turning on his heel to leave out the bathroom. You swigged the mouthwash around, spitting into the sink. You freshen up your makeup before popping the piece of gum in your mouth.
You made your way back to the table, sitting down when a waitress came and dropped a personal pan of pepperoni pizza in front of you with water. âOh,â You looked up at her, âI didnât order this.â
âOne of your friends ordered it for you. Told me to bring it when you came back to your seat.â She smiled and walked away. You glanced down at the pizza with a smile. Pizza was your favorite greasy food; it matched the rumbling of your drunk stomach perfectly.
You looked up at Soap and Gaz, the only two people who would know about your guilty pleasure food. Soap was leaning against the table flirting with another waitress while Gaz made bets with Price on football games. You decided you would thank one of them later when they werenât busy.
4 am finally rolled around, causing the night to end. Gaz had called you a cab, walking you out as everyone said their goodbyes. Ghost had already mounted his motorcycle and sped off into the night. Once Gaz got you settled in the backseat, you smiled at him. âThanks, Gaz. Oh, and thank you for the pizza, too.â
Gaz raised his eyebrow. âWhat pizza?â
âThe pizza you ordered me when I went to the bathroom.â You clarified.
âI didnât order you a pizza, hell, I didnât even know you went to the bathroom.â Gaz said before chuckling a bit with a mischievous smirk, âThe only person who ordered food was Ghost.â
Before you could ask anything more, Gaz tapped the roof of the car and your taxi pulled off.
You went even longer without seeing Ghost after the bar. It was almost as if he had just disappeared into thin air. You tried to question Gaz and Soap, but they claimed they knew nothing about it. Saying that it was probably a âlucky guessâ but if anything they had told you about Ghost was true, nothing he did was just a lucky guess.
You pushed all your questions to the back of your mind, as you knew you werenât going to get any answers any time soon. You were cleaning up the office as your day was ending. 141 were out on a mission, a relatively relaxed one, so your office was quiet and easy to pack up rather than having to tell Soap to stop touching stuff every 5 minutes.
You hummed to yourself, not taking notice that your office door had swung open.
âYouâre terrible at being aware of âya surroundings.â
You jumped, a squeal falling from your mouth. âYou have to stop doing that!â
Ghost stood at your door, in sweatpants and a hoodie. His arms crossed as he stared at you through his mask. He stepped into the room, closing the door behind him. You suddenly felt small like the room was closing in on you due to Ghostâs tall frame.
âWhat are you doing here?â You asked. Ghostâs eyes seemed to widen, as if he wasnât sure why he was there either.
âGive me a check-up.â
You raised an eyebrow at him, glancing over at the clock. It was 7:35 pm, and the base was basically empty.
âIt canât wait til tomorrow?â You asked. Ghost took a step closer to you, âI thought you wanted to get to know me?â
âI do but-â
âThen give me the check-up.â Ghost grunted, sitting on the bench. His large frame made the normally large bench look small under him.
You sighed softly, getting out your equipment to start his check-up. You stay silent as you slip on your latex gloves after washing your hands. âSo, Iâm guessing something happened on the mission.â
Ghost looked over to you, his eyes coated in a small dose of confusion. âWhat?â
âI mean, you seemed very adamant about not getting a check-up before and now youâre here after a mission. I just assumed maybe something happened.â You clarified as you moved to check his heartbeat.
It took everything in you not to let your hands wander across his chest as you pulled away from him to turn to your computer and record the data.
âNothing happened. Just built up some confidence.â He said, getting off the bench to stand behind you closely.
âO-ohâŠ. confidence for what?â You took a deep breath, your eyes focusing on the computer screen.
Ghost didnât answer your question, instead, he grabbed your shoulders and spun you around to face him. âYouâre very annoying, you know that?â
âWhat?â Your eyes widened.
âYouâre always around, smelling good. In these scrubs that hug your body tighter than any other scrubs Iâve ever seen.â Ghost muttered, âAlways laughing at Soapâs stupid jokes. Always getting pizza when you know you arenât supposed to.â
âI try to avoid you and ignore you, but you just crawl your little ass into my mind anyways. All missionâŠ. just thinking and wondering what youâre doing.â Ghost continued.
âIs this your way of admitting that youâve been thinking about me?â You asked.
Ghost stayed silent. His eyes stay trained on you, no words or sounds coming from him. His hand moved to take a piece of your hair and twirling it around his finger.
âUm, we should finish the check-up so we can go.â You spoke softly. Ghost ignored you, dipping his face into your neck. He took a deep breath. âGod, you smell heavenly.â
âGhost....â
âI need you.â He grumbled, âI need you all around me. Iâve learned everything I can about you and all I can think about is how I need to feel about you.â
âHow I need to ruin you.â
You felt a knot in your stomach at his words, heat pooling inside you. âR-ruin me?â
âBeyond belief.â Ghost confirmed, âGive me the green light.â
You stayed silent as Ghost pushed his knee between your legs, pressing his knees gently against your core, causing a whimper to fall from your mouth. He lifted his mask to reveal his lips, pressing against your neck in soft, wet kisses. âY/N. Answer me.â
âIâŠ.â You gasped for air, âP-pleaseâŠdo it.â
Ghost didnât need to hear anything else. He lifted you easily, throwing you on the bench. He yanked your top off, groping your breast. âI havenât been able to stop thinking about these since the bar. So soft and plumpâŠâ Ghost grumbled, pulling your bra down and latching his mouth to your nipple.
A small moan fell from your mouth at the actions. His tongue swirled around your nipple before he pulled away with a slight âpopâ. He left a trail of kisses down your chest to your naval. He tugged down your pants, throwing them in the same direction as your top. He groaned at the sight of the wet spot in your panties.
âSo wet and ready for me. Huh, love?â Ghost said, blowing softly on your clothed clit.
You whined softly, nodding your head. He slapped your thigh, his eyes looking up at you. âI want to hear use your words. Let me hear that pretty voice that has been plaguing my mind for these past few months.â
You let out a sigh as Ghost pressed the pad of his tongue to your slit through your panties, teasing you. âYesâŠ. Iâm wet and ready for you.â
âGood fucking girl, Lovie.â Ghost chuckled, moving your panties to the side to latch his mouth to your clit. He sucked and lapped at your clit harshly, your moans becoming uncontrollable as he ate you out like a starved man. His tongue teased your slit, flicking his tongue up and down.
He gripped your thighs tighter, pulling you closer to him. His nose pressed against your clit, stimulating you more and more. âOh God, fuck, Ghost.â You moaned, your hands reaching out to grip the top of his balaclava.
âThatâs right. I want you moaning my name like itâs the only thing that pretty little mind knows.â Ghost muttered, slipping two fingers into you as he kept lapping up all your juices. Your thighs tightened around his face as you felt your climax coming.
Ghost groaned at the action, his cock twitching with anticipation. You tossed your head back as pleasure coursed through your body. âIâm about to cum, fuck, Iâm sâclose.â
Your words seem to push Ghost further into sending you over the edge. His tongue moved faster against you as his fingers matched his pace. Your mind was blanking from the orgasm that rushed over your body. Ghost pulled his fingers out slowly as he pulled away from your swollen clit. His mouth was covered in your slick as he smirked. âTaste so sweet, Angel.â He spoke.
He pushed his two fingers into your mouth, groaning at the warmth of it. You suck on his fingers, tasting yourself on them as you swirled your tongue around. âSuch a good, eager girl. So happy to taste yourself on my fingers.â Ghost whispered, pushing them down your throat so he could hear your gags.
Ghost pulled away, yanking his sweatpants and boxers down. His cock sprang out, revealing its large length. It hit his abdomen; the tip leaking with pre-cum. Your eyes looked down at him, eyes widening at the sight. âMy GodâŠ.â You whispered.
Ghost grabbed the base of his shaft, jerking himself off slightly before pulling you to the edge of the bench and wrapping one of your legs around his waist while propping the other one on his shoulder. âI need this pretty pussy wrapped around my cock, taking every inch of me.â Ghost growled. He rubbed his tip up and down your slick, coating it in it.
âTell me how much you want this, Lovie. How bad do you want me to fuck you?â Ghost demanded; his eyes focused on you. You let out a whiny moan, looking up at him, âPlease fuck me. I want your cock so bad.â
Ghost pushed into you, filling you up slowly but surely. Ghost groaned, sinking into you until he was fully inside you. âSâfucking tight. Gonna fuck this pretty cunt until itâs molded to only take my cock.â Ghost groaned, snapping his hips forward for a forceful thrust. A guttural moan fell from your mouth, as Ghost gripped your throat with both hands, pounding into you at a ruthless pace.
âMâbeen dreaming of this since the day I laid eyes on your fucking application picture.â Ghost muttered, âSuch a pretty fucking girl. Batting your eyelashes at everyone.â
Ghostâs hands moved down to your hips, his fingers digging into your soft flesh. Your moans were drowned out by the loud slapping of your skin. If it wasnât for the way that Ghost was viciously railing you, you would be concerned that someone would walk past and hear you.
âSuch a fucking whore. Getting fucked in your officeâŠ. you like being railed after work? Hmm?â Ghost hissed out as you clenched around him.
âYou look sâpretty being full of my cock.â Ghost muttered, leaning down to kiss and nip your neck. You whined, feeling another knot form in your stomach. You clenched around Ghost, making him groan. âMâcloseâŠ. sâcloseâŠâ You spoke in between moans.
âGo ahead and make a mess on my cock, baby. Cum all over this cock like the slut you are.â Ghost demanded. It didnât take long for your legs to shake and for Ghostâs cock to be drenched in your climax. He slowed his thrusts, pulling out of you. You whimpered at the lost feeling.
âGet up, Lovie. I want to cum all in that pretty mouth of yours.â Ghost said, pulling you off the bench and to your knees. You looked up at him as he pumped himself. Slapping his cock against your lips, you opened your mouth to let him slip in.
âSâfucking warm. Fucking made to take my dick in every fucking hole you have.â Ghost muttered, his hand snaking around the back of your head to shove his dick further down your throat. Your eyes rolled into the back of your head as you tasted all your juices that drenched his cock. Saliva trailed down your chin as Ghost thrust in and out of your mouth at an unforgiving pace. âA fucking slut you are, taking my dick so well. Fuck.â Ghost groaned as his hip stuttered slightly. His cock twitched in your mouth before ropes of cum shot down your throat.
Your eyes screwed shut as Ghost stayed deep in your throat, making sure you swallowed all his cum. He pulled out, bending down to level as you looked up at him. âSo, this was going through your mind all this time.â You spoke breathlessly.
âShocked, Lovie?â Ghost smirked, lifting you back to your feet.
âA little.â You nodded. Ghost tilted your head back to press a rough but gentle kiss to your lips. âWell, I suggest you get used to it because there will be more of that.â
âSo, you made your move, huh?â Soap grinned wickedly at Ghost, who sat further down the table. Ghostâs eyes shot to Soapâs as he narrowed them at the man.
âDonât even try to deny it, LT.â Gaz said, his eyes staying trained on his phone. âAll the talk around the base is how a certain skull mask-wearing lieutenant is attached to the hip of the pretty little nurse.â
âShe mustâve really made you nervous if it took you almost three months to make a move on her.â Soap teased.
âI did more than make a move on her, Sergeant.â Ghost spoke, âThat pretty little nurse is now my pretty little nurse.â
Ghost smirked underneath his mask as he looked between Gaz and Soap. âSo, it would do you both good to watch your hands the next to you hug her. Would hate to have to break your fingers off for wandering too far for your own good.â
Without another word, Ghost sauntered out of the meeting room, leaving Soap and Gaz dumbfounded.
âHm, I was wondering when that boy was going to make a move.â Price hummed from his spot, âAll that begging to hire her to this base and took nearly four months to even talk to her.â
âWait, what? Ghost knew about her before she even got to base?â Gaz asked.
âGhost was the one who pulled her application.â Price said, âSaid âhis future girlâ had applied, and I needed to get her on base.â
Gaz and Soap looked at each other before sighing. Of course, Ghost knew you before you knew him.
Because it wouldnât be Ghost if he didnât.
#simon ghost riley#simon riley x reader#call of duty#modern warfare#simon riley#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod x reader#jayybugg fics
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I think itâs important that we talk about Swansea and how heâs VERY MUCH SO meant to be a foil to Jimmy.
While Swansea comes off as grouchy, abrasive, and stubborn, the biggest thing about his character is that heâs HONEST. Brutally so. Meanwhile, Jimmy basically lies through his teeth to both himself, and everyone else, from the first moment we meet his character.
Swansea comes off as stubborn, as if he doesnât take his coworkers seriously, not because he genuinely looks down on them but because he doesnât want them to get hurt. While he does see Daisuke as just this naive young adult, we learn in the execution scene that he doesnât necessarily see that as a bad thing. He wants Daisuke to retain that light that he lost as grew to become grizzled and exploited.
Swansea knows heâs good at his job and so he TAKES RESPONSIBILITY by making sure HES the only one doing the dangerous work. Because he doesnât WANT to push it onto someone else and get them hurt. Meanwhile, again, Jimmy basically manipulates Daisuke into sacrificing himself all so Jimmy can make sure Curly isnât dead in medical. (While not even caring what Anya does to herself)
Daisuke is basically Swanseaâs âCurlyâ if that makes sense. There are multiple lines of dialogue that hint to him saving the pod for him, to give him the best chance of survival. However, when he gets horrible injured in the vent, instead of FORCING HIM TO STAY ALIVE in tons of pain (like Jimmy did w/ Curly throughout the whole game) he ends his life BECAUSE he cares about how Daisuke feels and not just how HE feels. Cause we all know Jimmy keeps Curly alive for very selfish reasons.
After everything, Swansea is extremely honest about who he is. The type of person he was and is and couldâve been. The mistakes heâs made, the things he actually cares about, even if theyâre flawed or unhealthy. Meanwhile, even then, Jimmy continues to deny what he is and what is intentions are and what he really wants. He CONTINUES to refuse to take any sort of responsibility even when Swansea says to his face that he already sees past it.
Swansea is basically the narrative opposite of Jimmy, while also, funnily enough, kinda being used as a red herring at first. I mean, heâs the fat angry alcoholic old guy who carries an axe everywhere so ofc youâd expect him to be the bad guy. The story even shows you him trying to kill Jimmy/the player without context, to further sort of bait ur expectations. When in reality, heâs the one who saw Jimmy for what he really was before anyone else really did.
#mouthwashing#Mouthwashing spoilers#Swansea#Jimmy#Daisuke#anyywaaays Swansea ily Swansea#heâs my best friend and I will NOT stand for any slander
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Tw: almost dying, muscle spasms, seizures and weird body fuckery.
I just had my second ER trip of the month. I thought the amitriptyline was making my heart weird in a non-POTSy way and I had a feeling that something was just wrong. So I woke Mothman up and asked him to take me to the ER.
Which is just as well because as soon as we got there I started experiencing uncontrollable muscle spasms and my resting heart rate shot up to 150.
The triage nurse bolted me through the corridors into a room of about four doctors and seven nurses. The rest is a blur but I remember crying for Mothman because I couldn't see him past the wall of medical people around me.
Turns out I was extremely hypocalcemic, as in my blood results for my ionized calcium levels were so low it was a medical emergency. If Iâd stayed home and assumed my rapid heart was from POTS I likely would have had a seizure or possibly a heart attack.
The doctor in charge told me heâd only ever seen the spasmodic movements I was making in textbooks before, but it was so distinctive he knew right away it was hypocalcemia. Blood tests confirmed it. My serum levels were ânormalâ but my ionozed levels were virtually zero.
Also, my thyroid is shot. I need to get more tests done. Possibly linked to the hypocalcemia. Possibly why my migraines have been so bad. Basically it was the b12 fiasco all over again. All my test results looked normal until I almost died
Again.
Anyway. Iâm home now after being given a massive dose of IV calcium and a ton of othe meds. Sadly, Iâm not allowed to take the amitriptyline anymore, at least until weâve figured out my thyroid and why my calcium was so low while still appearing normal. Thankfully I was only on it for a week at a very low dose so the side effects of coming off it cold turkey shouldn't be too bad. Iâm dreading the head pain returning. But who knows, maybe the massive dose of calcium will help with that. Keep your fingers crossed for me, eh?
Iâm going to try and sleep.
Or just stare into the void for a bit. Havenât decided yet.
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