#we need to talk more about sam's insanity towards dean

[little-diable]

Unspoken nicknames and lost loves – Dean Winchester (smut)

I crave Dean Winchester as if he's a drug. How insane. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: The reader walked out on Dean and his lifestyle years ago, and yet she has never managed to let go of her love for him. Perhaps a nest of vampires in her town is exactly what needed to happen to bring them back together. Honestly, just pwp.

Warnings: 18+, smut, piv, mentions some heartbreak and talks about leaving, fluff tho

Pairing: Dean Winchester x fem!reader (3k words)

Darkness wrapped itself around (y/n), it crawled up her tired body like a snake slithering through Eden, knowing that chaos would unfold soon enough. The stone bench she was sitting on did little to shield her body from the cold night, leaving her trembling as she waited for his arrival. And yet she didn’t even know if he would show, if he had listened to the panicked voice message she had left hours ago.

Her eyes wandered over the rows of endless graves, trying to decipher the unfamiliar names to keep herself distracted. A part of her wondered why she was so sure that he’d show, after years of silence on her end – years of his calls she had ignored, of sober and drunk messages she had deleted. And yet a small part knew that he’d always come when she called, keeping the promise he had made years ago.

Dean Winchester had always been her enigma, the one she found herself clinging to for years, tied to him from her teenage years on, all until the day where she had packed her bag to leave the brothers and their lifestyle behind. A day that had flipped her life completely, luring her away from the places she had called her home for years on end, ripping it all out of her hands because her anxious overthinking mind had gotten the best of her.

And yet she didn’t regret running, at least not from the unstable lifestyle she had never managed to adjust to. But no matter how many years had passed since that day, she couldn’t shake her longing for the man she had once wanted to marry, the man she had hurt more than words could express, the man she expected to find her in moments of desperation.

“A cemetery, how fitting.” Dean Winchester’s raspy voice rang in her ears, forcing (y/n)’s glassy eyes towards his frame. He towered over her, letting his green eyes dance over her features while hers did the same, taking in every inch of the handsome face she’d never forget, no matter what may happen to her.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d come, but I thought this spot was far away enough for you to at least consider meeting me.” Dean sat down next to her on the bench, letting one arm rest behind her back. It wasn’t the first time she was seeing him again after leaving him, they had run into one another every now and then, and yet it was the first time they were all alone, without Sam or any of her friends near.

“You know I’ll always come whenever you need me, (y/n).” The use of her name cut deeper than she thought it would, instantly missing the nickname he had once used, a familiar sound she craved like a starving woman in need of food. She had to avert her gaze for a moment, no longer able to get lost in the eyes she’d always find, no matter how big a crowd may be, lured towards Dean Winchester like two magnets made to fit.

“So, vampires, huh?” She was glad for the change of topic, all too aware of the doubts that began to grow louder, leaving her to wonder if this had been a mistake.

“You know I don’t want anything to do with this, but I knew I had to call you. I’m sure you picked up on the series of missing people around here, the second I saw them killing that woman, I knew you could help.” Her mouth felt dry, struggling to speak about the things she had sworn she‘d keep away from. But no matter where she was, no matter what she was doing, it seemed as if there was no way out of this mess she had once lived through.

“I will call Sam, we will take care of this.“ Dean‘s hand found her knee, softly squeezing it before he dropped it once again, instantly making her miss the soft touch. (Y/n) couldn’t stop herself from smiling at him, allowing her a handful of seconds to properly look at the man her heart was still aching for.

“You can stay at mine for the few days you two will be around, if you want.“ The offer had rolled off her tongue before (y/n) could even have tried to stop it. For a moment, Dean kept quiet, not speaking up while she silently cursed herself for making this even harder for her. But before (y/n) could try to pull the offer back, Dean let go of a soft hum.

“That would be nice, thank you.” A soft smile was shot her way before he rose to his feet, letting his hands disappear in the pockets of his trousers. Both allowed one another to have one last look, giving the moment an almost melancholic touch before Dean parted his lips once again. “Sam will call you once we’re on the way. Be careful, (y/n).”

And all she could do was watch Dean Winchester leave her side once again, taking another piece of her heart with him.

……

“Thank you for letting us stay, (y/n). I’m sure this isn’t easy for you.” Sam had his hand placed on her shoulder, holding her close while Dean was taking a quick shower. She had missed having Sam around, the one she had kept in touch with over the past years, desperate for updates on the man she still longed for.

“I’m happy to see you, both of you.” She didn’t manage to speak another word, didn’t want to dwell on the feeling of regret and anxiety simmering inside of her. All she could do was turn from Sam, focusing on the bottles of beer she had bought, very well knowing that some things won’t ever change when it comes to the Winchester brothers.

“Shower’s free.” Dean’s raspy voice lured Sam from her side, forcing (y/n)’s eyes to Dean who leaned against the door frame with wet hair and clothes that hugged his frame a tad bit too well. With heat clinging to her, (y/n) tried to busy herself with preparing some snack, anything she could do to keep her eyes from wandering back to Dean.

“It’s a nice place you’ve got here.” He plopped down in one of the chairs, shooting her a grateful smile as she reached a beer out for him to take. (Y/n) was grateful that he hadn’t commented on the pictures she had hung up around her place, old memories of her and the two brothers, of shared friends and long lost loved ones. She was grateful that he didn’t tease her about any of them, well aware of the way she had struggled without them close, even though she had been the one who had decided to run.

“It’s enough for now.” His hum rumbled through him, echoing through the kitchen like a cry she struggled to keep bottled in. “So, no boyfriend or roommate you share this place with?”

“Oh come on, Dean.” (Y/n) scoffed at his words while shaking her head. She knew that he couldn’t be this oblivious, unaware of the heartache she had caused them both and still hadn’t managed to overcome. Even back then, when she had left him, (y/n) had known that no other man would ever come after him, after the one she had loved more than life itself, the brightness to her darkest days, the air she needed to breathe. She was choking without him, dying a slow death she was to blame for.

“What? Don’t tell me you haven’t been with anyone, it’s been years, (y/n).” Dean’s words cut deep, dripping with spite. She couldn’t stop her body from turning towards him, from staring at him with glassy eyes that were filled with unshed tears. She wasn’t stupid, was well aware that Dean had been with many women, spending nights or even weeks with them, at least until another hunt called him and Sam away. And yet she didn’t manage to swallow her jealousy, the biting sensation that left a bitter taste on her tongue.

“I haven’t, and I doubt I ever will.” With her back turned towards him, (y/n) kept her eyes focused on the kitchen island she was leaning against, palms pressed flat against the cold material. She had to blink away her tears, unable to stop a few from rolling down her warm cheeks. The sound of his chair screeching rang in her ears, followed by the sounds of his feet softly meeting the ground, telling her that Dean was moving closer.

“Look at me, (y/n).” His hands found her waist, turning her front back towards him. His green eyes were filled with pain, a sensation so strong, it forced a sob right out of (y/n). Wordlessly he wiped her falling tears away while a soft smile played on the lips she had last kissed years ago. “Talk to me, what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“It’s so pathtic, god, fuck.” Her eyes fluttered close, she didn’t endure looking at him any longer, needing a few moments to deeply inhale some new air. Dean kept his hand placed on her cheek, holding onto her while silence wrapped itself around the two ex-lovers who clung to one another as if it was their final moment together.

“I know it’s my fault. I walked away, I couldn’t cope with this life. But I left my heart with you, I knew that I won’t ever get to love another person the same way I love you. And for a while I thought I could live with that, away from you and that unstable life. But now,” a shaky breath left her as her eyes flickered back to his. “Now I am no longer so sure about that.”

Dean pulled her into his chest, letting his chin rest on her head while another sob clawed through (y/n). With every passing moment, it felt as if Dean was tightening his grip on her, scared that she’d run before he found the strength to reply.

“You know, I was angry at you for leaving, probably for years. But the older I get, the more I understand it. It wasn’t fair of us to drag you into this, to force you to move around and live without any perspectives while we were both so young. You deserve better and I’ve accepted that. But I also always knew that you were it for me, no other person will ever manage to make me feel that love we shared.” His words felt like another punch to her gut, forcing her through these memories she had tried to drown with the love she had once felt – unsuccessfully.

“I don’t want to let go of you, Dean. I know I have to, but I don’t know how much longer I can live with this pain.” With his hand finding the back of her neck, he pulled her tear-stained face away from his broad chest. She was high on his scent, the comfortable scent she had craved to smell for years. His thumb rang along her lower lip, feeling the bite marks her teeth had left behind while trying to stop herself from speaking up.

He didn’t have to ask for permission as he dipped his head down to kiss her, to press his lips against hers like he had once done numerous times each day. Instantly, she felt hurled back in time, letting herself fall back into a familiar routine as her arms found their way around his neck and his tongue met hers.

Only as the sound of Sam nearing managed to reach them did they pull away from one another. Breathlessly, they looked at one another for a handful of seconds before she turned back towards the snacks and Dean moved towards the chair he had been sitting on.

“So, how’s life around here, (y/n)? Is it as quiet as you wanted it to be?”

……

“Dean?” She mumbled his name as she woke to the feeling of someone slinging their arms around her frame to pull her against a broad chest. (Y/n) could instantly tell that it was Dean, wrapping her in his comfortable embrace as she shuffled around, needing to look up at him.

“I can’t stop thinking about what you said to me earlier.” His confession filled her bedroom, weighing heavy on both their souls. Slowly, she moved her hand up his shirt, letting it rest on his chest while her fingers traced his exposed collar bones.

“I meant it, every part of it.” The heavy exhale that followed her words interrupted their silence, drawing their eyes back to one another. It felt like a deja-vu, happening just like hours ago where he had finally kissed her again after all these years. Their lips melted together, hearts and souls intertwined while he pulled (y/n) on top of him.

“Do you want this? I need you to be sure, sweetheart.” Her heart skipped a beat at the use of his old nickname for her, leaving her dazed while a soft “Yes” managed to leave her slightly swollen lips. Without letting go of her, Dean flipped them around, hovering over her while he got rid of his shirt. He took his time, teasing her for a few moments before he exposed his upper body to her wandering eyes.

Dean allowed her to trace his marks, to explore the skin she had once been all too familiar with, needing a few seconds to adjust once again. But he grew impatient all too quickly, letting his hands disappear beneath her shirt to pull it from her frame. Within seconds his mouth found her chest, kissing their way to her naked breasts.

(Y/n)’s quiet moans were like fuel to the fire, begging him to suck on her hardening nubs while she bucked her hips, feeling his hardening cock press against her covered heat. Nothing could happen now to pull them away from one another, to stop them from what was about to unfold, they were too far gone, set on moulding a perfect mess they never wanted to get rid of again.

“It’s been too long, I need you, need to feel you inside of me, Dean.” She was proud of herself for even finding her words while he kept rubbing himself against her, leaving her bundle of nerves pulsing. His eyes flickered up to hers, filled with a teasing anticipation that shook right through her like lightning striking her body. All while she laid still, with her hands resting next to her as if she was scared to touch him, to mess something up.

“You’re still such a needy girl for me, aren’t you, sweetheart?” With her breath hitched in her chest it felt as if she was drowning, drowning in everything Dean Winchester emanated. He rose back to a sitting position, chasing the distance between them to pull her panties down her legs before he stepped out of his boxers. (Y/n)’s greedy eyes wandered up and down his naked body, thanking whoever was listening for giving her a second chance.

“I want you bare, let me feel you.” She trusted him, knew that Dean would never risk harming her in any way, and yet she didn’t dare look at him while speaking the words that drew a gritty moan from Dean. He found his way back to her, hovering over (y/n) while he dipped his head down to kiss her. The kiss seemed to wake her from her state, letting her hands find their way up his neck to his hair, tugging on the soft roots to wordlessly beg him for more.

Dean brushed the tip of his cock through her slit, spreading her arousal on her skin before he finally sank into her. A loud moan left the both of them in unison, a sound he tried to swallow with another kiss pressed to her parted lips. He gave them a few seconds before he started to fuck her with slow thrusts, enjoying every second of their all too intimate reunion.

It felt like a dream, a surreal experience she was only dreaming about but would never experience in real life. Having Dean oh so close, being buried beneath him while he fucked her with calculated thrusts that made black dots appear in her vision – a dreamy state she never wanted to escape from.

“Look at me, pretty girl. Let me see how good I’m making you feel.” Dean’s teasing words dripped with confidence, leaving her buzzing in heat as her eyes snapped towards his. They held eye contact while his thrusts grew faster, knowing that they couldn’t drag this out even if they wanted to. Too many years had passed, years they had been forced to spend without the other near, years they were now trying to make up for.

“I love you, Dean.” She wouldn’t have managed to stop the words from leaving her even if she had tried to. Words that left him chuckling in delight before he repeated them, making her heart flutter in her chest. A blissful state that only grew more prominent as she sneaked her hand between her bodies to rub her pulsing bundle.

“I want you to cum with me, don’t let go yet, sweetheart.” (Y/n) could only let go of a choked sound while she clawed her fingernails into his shoulders, trying to stop herself from letting go. They kept looking at one another until Dean finally nodded his head, allowing her to let go as his ferocious thrusts pushed them over the edge.

Both moaned in unison as they came together, breathless sounds they couldn’t care about. The blinding sensation felt as if they were burning alive, robbing them of their breath while they were certain that it had never felt this good before.

“I’m sorry for leaving, Dean.” (Y/n) mumbled the words into the darkness of her room. She clung to him as he slowly pulled out of her, only to plop down on the mattress right next to (y/n).

“I’m sorry for just letting you go. I will never be this blind again, sweetheart.”

[doctorbitchcrxft]

Bloodlust | Supernatural Series Rewrite | Dean Winchester x Reader

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: canon violence, canon gore, implied sexism/objectification

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Dean was in the best mood you’d seen him in in a long time. He was grooving to his music as the Impala cruised along the highway; having finally fixed his baby. “Whoo! Listen to her purr! Have you ever heard anything so sweet?”

You rolled your eyes. “You know, if you two wanna get a room, just let me know, Dean.”

“Oh, don't listen to her, baby. She doesn't understand us.”

Sam laughed. “You're in a good mood.”

“Why shouldn't I be?” Dean questioned.

“No reason.”

“Got my car, got a case; things are looking up.”

You hummed. “Wow. Give you a couple severed heads and a pile of dead cows, and you’re little miss sunshine.”

He laughed. “How far to Red Lodge?”

Sam responded, “Uh, about another three hundred miles.”

“Good,” Dean smirked, flooring it.

***

The sheriff you and the brothers talked to obviously thought the three of you were insane when you questioned him about the decapitations and cow mutilations. He ordered you to get out of his office, to which you agreed.

Needing another plan, you and the brothers headed to the hospital in your respective suits and dress. You didn’t miss the way Dean’s eyes raked over your body as you made your way into the morgue.

“Decorum, please,” you teased, swishing your hips as you walked ahead of him.

Dean walked closely behind you and read the nametag of the unsuspecting intern sitting behind the desk. “John.”

“Jeff,” he corrected.

“Jeff. I know that,” Dean chuckled. “Dr. Dworkin needs to see you in his office right away.”

“But Dr. Dworkin's on vacation.”

“Well, he's back. And he's pissed, and he's screaming for you, man, so if I were you I would—” he clicked his tongue and jutted his thumb behind him.

The intern looked terrified and ran away.

“Hey, those satanists in Florida, they marked their victims, didn't they?” Dean questioned.

“Yeah, reversed pentacle on the forehead,” Sam responded.

“Yeah. So much fucked up crap happens in Florida.” He handed you and Sam pairs of latex gloves and tugged on a pair of his own. 

You pulled out a metal bed with a woman’s corpse laying on it and a box between her legs. 

“Alright, open it,” Dean told Sam.

“You open it,” Sam protested.

“You guys are pussies.” You grabbed the box and took the lid off, unfazed by the sight before you.

Dean cringed at the sight of the head, saying, “Well, no pentagram.”

“Wow. Poor girl,” Sam said.

“Maybe we should, uh, you know, look in her mouth, see if those wackos stuffed anything down her throat. Y'know, kinda like the moth in Silence of the Lambs.”

“Yeah, here, go ahead,” you smirked, spinning the box toward him.

“No, you go ahead,” he rebutted.

“What?”

“ ‘Put the lotion in the basket.’ “ 

You rolled your eyes. “Fine.” You pried her mouth open and looked down her throat. 

“Dean, get me a bucket?” Sam grimaced. “I'm going to puke.”

You felt around her mouth a bit more and found strange grooves above her gumline. You pulled her lip up and pressed just above one of the holes, and a fang descended. “Oh, this fucking bitch.”

“She’s already dead, (Y/N), relax,” Dean told you.

“Well, this changes things,” noted Sam.

“Ya think?” you and Dean asked in unison.

***

You and the brothers decided to go for a few drinks after the discoveries you’d made and pick up the next morning. You immediately felt a man’s eyes on you and uncomfortably shifted in your seat. “You pickin’ up what I am?” you discreetly whispered to Dean.

“Yeah, definitely,” he responded lowly, sitting on a barstool. “How's it going?”

The bartender answered, “Living the dream. What can I get for you?”

“Three beers, please.”

Sam began, “So, we're looking for some people.”

“Sure. Hard to be lonely,” the bartender smirked. 

“Yeah. But, um, that's not what I meant.” Sam pulled a fifty dollar bill from his pocket and dropped it in front of the bartender, who took it hesitantly. “Right. So these, these people, they would have moved here about six months ago, probably pretty rowdy, like to drink—”

“Yeah, real night owls, you know? Sleep all day, party all night,” Dean chimed in.

“Barker farm got leased out a couple months ago. Real winners. They've been in here a lot— drinkers. Noisy. I've had to 86 them once or twice.”

You and Dean thanked the bartender for his help and continued to nurse your beers. After a few minutes, you and the brothers continued to feel the man’s eyes on you. On high alert, all three of you moved for the door and noticed all that was left of the man was a smoldering cigarette in an ashtray.

You and the brothers walked out of the bar and past the Impala to lead the man who’d been stalking you away. You rounded a corner and jumped out of the way so the brothers could pin the man who’d followed you to the wall. Dean held a knife to the man’s throat and commanded, “Smile.”

“What?” the man asked.

“Show us those pearly whites.”

“Oh, for the love of— you want to stick that thing someplace else? I'm not a vampire," he replied nonchalantly.

You frowned.

“Yeah, that's right. I heard you guys in there.” Even his voice was unsettling.

“What do you know about vampires?” you asked.

“How to kill them. Now seriously, bro. That knife's making me itch.”

Dean cocked his head and the man started to pull away. Sam pinned him down harder. 

“Whoa. Easy there, Chachi,” the man said. He slowly brought his hand up to his lips and revealed normal gums. “See? Fangless. Happy?”

Dean let him up. “Now. Who the hell are you?”

"Gordon. Gordon Walker," he replied. "You?"

"I'm Dean. This is Sam; that's (Y/N)."

The man led you over to his car and pulled out an arsenal rack from behind his backseat. “Sam and Dean Winchester. I can't believe it. You know I met your old man once? Hell of a guy. Great hunter. I heard he passed. I'm sorry. It's big shoes. But from what I hear you guys fill 'em. Great trackers, good in a tight spot—”

Dean was on-guard. “You seem to know a lot about our family.”

“Word travels fast. You know how hunters talk,” the man explained.

“No, I don’t, actually,” you chimed in.

“You're a firecracker, aren't cha?” he asked. His somehow hauntingly melodic voice had you on edge.

You refused to respond.

“So, um, so those two vampires, they were yours, huh?” Sam jumped in.

“Yep. Been here two weeks.”

“Did you check out that Barker farm?” Dean questioned.

“It's a bust. Just a bunch of hippie freaks. Though, they could kill you with that patchouli smell alone.” You almost laughed at Gordon’s comment. 

“Where's the nest, then?” Dean asked.

“I got this one covered. Look, don't get me wrong. It's a real pleasure meetin' you fellas. But I've been on this thing over a year. I killed a fang back in Austin; tracked the nest all the way up here. I'll finish it.”

“We could help,” Dean suggested.

“Thanks, but uh, I'm kind of a go-it-alone type of guy.”

Dean groaned, “Come on, man, I"ve been itching for a hunt.”

“Sorry. But hey, I hear there's a Chupacabra two states over. You go ahead and knock yourselves out.” He got down into his car and leaned out of the window. “It was real good meeting you, though. I'll buy you a drink on the flip side.” He drove off.

“He seems like a world-class douche,” you commented as you watched his retreating red car.

“Yeah, tell me about it,” Sam snorted. 

“C’mon.” Dean started off to his car.

“Where we goin’?” 

“To find ourselves a fang.”

***

Dean followed Gordon’s distinctive red car to a warehouse where you deduced he’d tracked a vampire to. 

You rushed up the labyrinth of ladders toward the sounds of a running mill saw and the two men struggling. When you arrived at the scene, you saw Gordon on the verge of getting his head taken off by the vampire and the saw. You and Sam each grabbed a boot and pulled Gordon away from the vampire’s impressive strength. Dean attacked the vampire and replaced Gordon with him, lowering the saw to the vampire’s throat. You watched in concern as blood sprayed across Dean’s face, and he seemed completely unreactive. 

“So, uh, I guess I gotta buy you that drink,” Gordon chuckled awkwardly. 

***

You agreed to meet Gordon back at the bar you’d met him at after you cleaned Dean up. Sam went into the bar with Gordon to get a round of drinks started. You took hydrogen peroxide out of the first aid kit in the car and began to wipe Dean’s face off with it.

“I can do this myself, y’know,” he mumbled.

“I do.” You let a silence settle between you before you spoke again. “What happened to you back there?”

“What do you mean?”

“Dean, you got fucking scary back there. I’ve never seen you like that,” you explained.

“I was just excited to get back to huntin’, (Y/N).”

“No, dude, I know you. You’re lethal but never… cold. You’re worrying me,” you admitted.

“Well, don’t, okay? I’m fine,” he said, lightly pushing you off him and taking the towel from you. He finished wiping himself off and began to walk inside. You were hurt but refused to let that show and followed him into the bar. 

***

Rounds deep of Gordon and Dean swapping stories, you and Sam were exhausted of the talk of blood, guts, and gore. Gordon soon circled back to Dean’s kill of the evening. “Dean,” he laughed. “You gave that big-ass fang one hell of a haircut, my friend.”

“Thank you,” Dean grinned.

“That was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.”

“Was it, though?” you questioned, ignoring the way Dean’s gaze burned into the side of your head and keeping your eyes locked on Gordon.

“You all right, sweetheart?” Dean asked you.

“Fine,” you responded.

“Well, lighten up a little, sweetheart,” Gordon jested.

“He's the only one who gets to call me that,” you immediately stated firmly.

He held his hands up in surrender. “Okay. No offense meant. Just celebrating a little. Job well done.”

“Right. Well, decapitations aren't my idea of a good time, I guess,” Sam chimed in.

“Oh, come one, man, it's not like it was human. You've gotta have a little more fun with your job,” Gordon said simply. 

"That's what it is, though," you broke in. "A job. I enjoy it, but bloodshed doesn't exactly get my rocks off." You kept your eyes locked on Gordon, who stared back.

Sam sighed and stood up. "Look, I'm not gonna bring you guys down. I'm just gonna go back to the motel. C’mon, (Y/N).”

“You sure?” Dean asked the two of you as you stood.

The two of you nodded wordlessly.

“Remind me to beat that buzzkill out of you two later, alright?” Dean joked, throwing Sam the keys.

You walked out angrily and didn’t say a word to Sam on the way back to the motel.

***

“I don’t like that guy,” you muttered to Sam as you paced around his and Dean’s motel room. “I really don’t like vampires, but I really don’t like that guy.”

“Yeah, me neither. I’m gonna call Ellen; see what she thinks.”

“Good idea.”

Sam raised the phone to his ear. “Hey, Ellen, uh, Sam Winchester… Yeah. Yeah, everything's fine. Got a question. You ever run across a guy named Gordon Walker?... And?... Well, we ran into him on a job and we're kinda working with him, I guess…” His face suddenly changed. “I— I thought you said he was a good hunter.” 

You watched curiously as he listened to another thing she had to say before bidding the woman goodbye. “I’m guessing she told you he was bad news,” you said once he’d hung up.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Great.”

“Sam, I hate vamps more than probably anybody. But Dean was just… so… not Dean when he took the head off that one,” you said.

“I know. It’s buggin’ me, too,” he sighed. “I’m gonna go get a drink. You want one?”

“Just a water, please,” you replied.

Minutes went by, and Sam still hadn’t returned from the vending machine. You were beginning to get a little worried, but decided that maybe he just needed a second to himself. When ten minutes turned into fifteen, though, you really started to panic. You darted outside and looked over to the vending machine. Sam was nowhere to be found. You called Dean in a panic, saying, “Dean, Sam’s gone. I can’t find him anywhere.”

“What?! What the hell happened?!”

“I don’t know!” You ran a hand through your hair. “He just went to get a drink, and now he’s gone!”

“Well, maybe he just went for a walk,” Dean tried.

“No, Dean, he would’ve told me. What the hell is with you? Normally, you’d be flipping out by now.”

“Watch it, (Y/N). Hang tight. We’re on our way.” He hung up the phone.

‘We. Gordon. Fucking fantastic.’

***

When Dean and Gordon returned to the boys’ motel room, you clung to the back wall, feeling very uncomfortable around Gordon and Dean’s new attitude.

Gordon was discussing strategies on how to get Sam back with Dean— supposing the vampires you were hunting was behind this— when the man in question strolled through the door.

“Sam?!” you asked, pushing off the wall and running to him. You hugged him tightly around his neck. “Where the hell did you go?”

“Can I talk to you two alone?” he asked you and his brother.

“You mind chillin' out for a couple minutes?” Dean asked Gordon, who shook his head. You and the brothers exited the room and stood in the parking lot. 

“Guys, maybe we've got to rethink this hunt.”

“What makes you say that, Sammy?” you asked. 

“Where were you?” Dean questioned.

“In the nest.”

“What? You found it?” Dean questioned. Yours and his eyebrows shot up.

“They found me, man.”

“How'd you get out? How many'd you kill?” the older brother asked.

“None.”

“Well, Sam, they didn't just let you go.”

“That's exactly what they did.”

“No fucking way,” you said. “I know vamps, they wouldn’t do that.”

“Well, how do you explain the fact that I’m not dead, (Y/N)?”

You shrugged. “Good point. But what the hell, man?”

“Where is it?” Dean asked.

“I was blindfolded. I don't know.”

“Well, you've got to know something,” the older brother pressed.

Sam huffed. “We went over that bridge outside of town, but guys, listen. Maybe we shouldn't go after them.”

“Why not?” you and Dean asked.

“I don't think they're like other vampires. I don't think they're killing people.”

Dean laughed humorlessly. “You're joking. Then how do they stay alive? Or undead, or whatever the hell they are.”

“The cattle mutilations. They said they live off of animal blood.”

“And you believed them?”

“Look at me, Dean. They let me go without a scratch.” Sam held his arms out to either side of himself, encouraging you and Dean to examine him.

“Wait, so you're saying—” Dean cut himself off. “No, man, no way. I don't know why they let you go. I don't really care. We find 'em, we waste 'em.”

“Why?” Sam huffed.

“What part of 'vampires' don't you understand, Sam? If it's supernatural, we kill it, end of story. That's our job.”

“No, Dean, that is not our job. Our job is hunting evil. And if these things aren't killing people, they're not evil!” the brunet argued.

“Of course they're killing people, that's what they do. They're all the same, Sam. They're not human, okay? We have to exterminate every last one of them.”

“Dean, I’m with Sam on this one,” you finally said.

“Really, (Y/N)? You?” he looked at you stunned.

“Yeah, dude. I trust Sam. I hate vampires more than the next person. But I just don’t feel good about this hunt all around. I say we leave these vampires and Gordon in our dust,” you responded.

“Oh, so that’s what this is about,” Dean scoffed. “Gordon?”

“Why are you so defensive of him?” you questioned, voicing rising slightly.

“Because he’s been going after these things for a year, (Y/N), I think he knows,” he said.

“Sam called Ellen. She says he’s bad news.” You crossed your arms over your chest.

Dean looked at his brother. “You called Ellen?”

Sam nodded.

“And I'm supposed to listen to her? We barely know her, (Y/N). No thanks, I'll go with Gordon.”

“Right. ‘Cause Gordon’s such an old friend,” you scowled. “You think I can’t see what this is?”

“What are you talking about?” Dean grunted.

“He's a substitute for your dad, isn't he? A poor one.”

“Shut up, (Y/N).”

“Hey! Don’t talk to me like that.” You stepped closer to Dean, face set angrily.

Dean wasn’t backing off. “Then don’t talk to me like that.”

The two of you were in each other’s faces, angrily staring each other down.

“You know what? I'm not even going to talk about this,” Dean grumbled, turning away from you.

“I know exactly what you’re doing, Dean. I can see right through you. I know how you feel. I lost my dad, too. But nobody can replace him. That hole you’re feeling hurts; I know. But this isn’t what’s gonna fix it.”

He snorted humorlessly. “Okay.” He walked away from you and scrubbed a hand through his hair. He turned to his brother. “I'm going to that nest. You don't want to tell me where it is, fine. I'll find it myself.”

You followed him back into his motel room. “We are not done with this conversation.” 

Dean went to respond to you but noticed Gordon was gone before he could. 

“You think he went after them?” Sam asked.

“Probably,” you said. “Dean, we have to stop him.”

“Really, (Y/N)? Because I say we lend a hand.”

Sam chimed in, “Just give me the benefit of the doubt, would you? You owe me that.”

“Yeah, we'll see. I'll drive. Give me the keys.”

Sam gestured to the table where he’d set the keys earlier, but they were gone. “He snaked the keys.”

“Fucking awesome,” you grumbled, eyeing Dean angrily for his trust in Gordon.

Dean then had to hotwire his own car, cursing under his breath about how he’d “just fixed her.” “So the bridge, is that, uh, is that all you got?” Dean asked his brother as the three of you began to speed off.

“The bridge was four and a half minutes from their farm,” Sam explained.

“How do you know?” you asked.

“I counted.” 

You smiled. This was another one of those moments where he reminded you a lot of Steven; he would've done the same thing.

The younger brother continued, “They took a left out of the farm, then turned right onto a dirt road, followed that for two minutes slightly up a hill, then took another quick right, and we hit the bridge.”

***

A while later, you and the brothers arrived at the farmhouse the vampires had been holing up in. You found Gordon circling a tied-up vampiress covered in scratches and her own blood. 

“Guys. Come on in,” Gordon grinned at you.

“You’re fucking sick,” you growled, eyeing him dangerously.

“You wanna get a handle on your girlfriend there, pal?” Gordon said to Dean.

Dean ignored his comment. “What's going on?”

“Just poisoning Lenore here with some dead man's blood. She's going to tell us where all her little friends are, aren't you? Wanna help?”

Dean sighed. “Look, man—”

“Grab a knife. I was just about to start in on the fingers.” Gordon dragged his knife across her arm, cutting her deeply.

“Stop it!” you ordered.

“Hey, let's all just chill out, huh?” Dean said simultaneously.

“I’m completely chill,” Gordon responded coolly.

“Gordon, put the knife down,” Sam quietly pleaded. He went to step toward Gordon, but Dean held him back.

“Sounds like it's Sam here needs to chill,” Gordon scoffed.

“Just step away from her, alright?” you tried.

“You're right. I'm wasting my time here. This bitch will never talk. Might as well put her out of her misery.” Gordon pulled out a larger knife. “I just sharpened it, so it's completely humane.”

You stepped to block Gordon from reaching the vampire. “Gordon, I'm letting her go.”

Gordon pointed the knife at your chest, stopping you. “You're not doing a damn thing.”

“Hey, hey, hey, Gordon, let's talk about this,” Dean broke in, concern rising in his voice.

“What's there to talk about? It's like I said, Dean. No shades of gray.”

“Yeah. I hear ya. And I know how you feel.”

“Do you?” He turned to Dean, but kept the knife trained on your chest.

“That vampire that killed your sister deserved to die, but this one—”

Gordon laughed. “Killed my sister? That filthy fang didn't kill my sister. It turned her. It made her one of them. So I hunted her down, and I killed her myself.”

Dean’s awkward smile wavered. “You did what?”

“It wasn't my sister anymore; it wasn't human. I didn't blink. And neither would you.”

“Gordon, I had to do the same thing to my parents,” you said. “But my parents were trying to eat me. I think that’s a bit of a different circumstance than these guys who are just eating a few cows.”

“Then you should understand why I have to do this.” He pushed the tip of his knife into your chest, trying to get you to back up. You hissed in pain.

Dean immediately drew his gun and pointed it at Gordon. “Cut it out.”

“So you knew all along, then?” Sam continued provoking the hunter. “You knew about the vampires, you knew they weren't killing anyone. You knew about the cattle. And you just didn't care.”

Gordon chuckled. “Care about what? A nest of vampires suddenly acting nice? Taking a little time out from sucking innocent people? And we're supposed to buy that? Trust me. Doesn't change what they are. And I can prove it.” With no warning, he grabbed your arm and sliced it open. You yelped as he held your arm out with one hand and held the knife to your throat with the other. He shoved you toward the vampire tied up in her chair.

Dean cocked the gun and demanded, “Let her go. Now!”

“Relax. If I wanted to kill her, she'd already be on the floor. Just making a little point.”

“Oh, you motherfucker—” he held your arm over the vampire while you struggled, causing blood to drip on her face. She hissed, and her fangs extended. 

“Let me go!”

“You think she's so different? Still want to save her? Look at her. They're all the same. Evil, bloodthirsty.”

The vampire controlled herself, though, retracting her fangs and turning her face away. You softened at the sight as Dean continued to try and intimidate Gordon.

“You hear her, Gordon?” Sam said. 

The vampire was stringing together a chant of “No” over and over again, trying to control herself.

You kicked Gordon between the legs and worked your way out of his grasp when the knife moved away from your neck. “We're done here.”

“Sam, get her out of here,” Dean told his brother. 

He did as told, and when Gordon tried to step toward him, Dean caught his attention with the gun. “Uh-uh. Uh-uh! Gordon, I think you and I've got some things to talk about.”

“Get out of my way,” Gordon told you and Dean, who both had guns trained on him.

“Sorry,” Dean murmured.

“You're not serious,” the man scoffed.

“I'm having a hard time believing it too, but I know what I saw. If you want those vampires, you gotta go through me.”

Gordon nodded, considering. He looked down at his knife and jammed it into the table. “Fine.”

Dean looked at the knife and then his gun. He pulled the clip out of his Taurus and set it aside.

“Dean, what are you doing?” you asked.

“Trust me on this one.”

You kept your gun trained on Gordon as he lunged at Dean. You couldn’t get a clear shot as the two of them rumbled around. You couldn’t lie, they were pretty evenly matched in hand-to-hand combat. Gordon grabbed his knife again and held it to Dean’s throat. “What are you doing, man? You doing this for a fang? Come on, Dean, we're on the same side here.”

“I don't think so, you sadistic bastard.”

Gordon threw Dean across the room.

“Hey!” you said, cocking your gun. “Back off!”

“Stay out of this, sweetie,” Gordon told you before turning back to Dean. “You're not like your brother. You're a killer. Like me.”

Dean kicked Gordon down and hauled him up against the wall before elbowing him between the eyes. He pinned him under his elbow and slammed his head into another wall. “Oh, sorry.”

You chuckled despite the situation as you and Dean began to tie Gordon up.

“You know, I might be like you, and I might not. But you're the one tied up right now,” Dean monotoned down at Gordon. He turned to you when he seemed to come back to reality. “Are you okay?” He put his hands on either side of your face and tucked your hair behind your ear. 

You nodded. “Fine.”

He grabbed your arm gently and looked over the cut Gordon had given you. Dean sucked in a breath through his teeth. “I’m gonna take care of that.”

“Dean, you don’t have to—”

“Yeah, I do.” He took a deep breath. “You were right.”

You gave him a lopsided smile. “I know.”

He rolled his eyes. “I’m trying to have a moment with you here,” he smirked.

You just smiled and looked down to the floor. “I know. Thank you.”

Sam came back into the room. “Did I miss anything?” he asked, noting Gordon tied up.

Dean shook his head. “Nah, not much. She get out okay?”

“Yeah. All of 'em did.”

Gordon groaned as he came back to. 

“Then I guess our work here is done. How you doin', Gordy? Gotta tinkle yet?” Dean snarked, making you giggle.

Gordon just glared at him.

“Alright. Well, get comfy. We'll call someone in two or three days; have them come out, untie you.” He jammed Gordon’s knife into the table behind him.

“Ready to go, Dean?” Sam asked.

“Not yet. I guess this is goodbye. Well, it's been real.” He hit Gordon straight across the jaw, knocking him to the floor. “Okay. I'm good now. We can go.”

As you exited the farmhouse, you grabbed at your arm that suddenly began to sting. 

“I wish we never took this job. It's jacked everything up,” Dean lamented.

“What do you mean?” Sam asked.

“Think about all the hunts we went on, Sammy, our whole lives. What if we killed things that didn't deserve killing? You know? I mean, the way Dad raised us—” Dean trailed off and shook his head.

The younger brother’s expression softened. “Dean, after what happened to Mom, Dad did the best he could.”

“I know he did. But the man wasn't perfect. And the way he raised us, to hate those things; and man, I hate 'em. I do. When I killed that vampire at the mill, I didn't even think about it; hell, I even enjoyed it.”

“You didn’t kill that girl, though,” you pointed out.

“No, but every instinct told me to. I was gonna kill her. I was gonna kill 'em all.”

“Yeah, Dean, but you didn't. And that's what matters,” Sam reminded him softly.

“Yeah. Well, 'cause you two are a pain in my ass,” Dean grunted.

“Guess we might have to stick around to be a pain in the ass, then,” the brunet smirked.

“Thanks,” Dean said honestly.

“Don’t mention it.”

***

You returned to the motel to quickly shower off and gather your things. Dean followed you to your room and looked down at your arm. “Gimme that,” he said.

“What? My arm?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“This is our thing now, I guess, huh?” you asked as he pulled a chair up to where you sat on your bed, using your first aid kid to clean your wounds.

“Oh, god, don’t try and make this cute,” he groaned.

“Well, it is!” you protested. “I like how much you care.”

A comfortable silence settled over the two of you, and you began to work on Dean’s wounds he’d sustained from Gordon.

“(Y/N), I—” he began, “I was a complete asshole back there. I just… it’s what I told Sam, I mean, this changes everything for me.”

“I get it,” you nodded. “Me, too. You know I fucking hate vampires, and I wanted to smoke every last one of them. But I don’t know. I’m starting to see the humanity in ‘em, I guess.”

“‘S funny. Humanity in monsters.”

“I know,” you giggled. “Sounds stupid saying it out loud. But think about it. That chick reacted the way any regular person does with severe addiction. Just makes you think, y’know? Maybe they’re more like us than we ever thought.”

He huffed out a laugh. “Don’t get all philosophical on me; I can’t keep up when you do.”

“Yeah, but you love it, though,” you teased.

“I do, actually,” he said, much to your surprise. “You’re so smart, it scares me sometimes.”

“Whoa, look at you and your compliments,” you joked, grinning.

“What?" he chuckled.

“Normally I'm the touchy-feely one,” you answered, giggling. “But thank you. It means a lot coming from you.” You finished wrapping a bandage around his knuckles. “There.”

He flexed them painfully in your upturned palm before playing with your hand in his. You looked up at him, breath hitching in your throat. “Dee, if you’re not ready—”

“(Y/N),” he said, leaning in to you. You surged forward and connected his lips with yours.

Series Rewrite Taglist: @polireader @brightlilith @atcamillanorrman @jrizzelle @insomnia-bookworm @procrastination20 @mrs-liebgott @djs8891 @tiggytaylor @staple-your-mouth @jesstherebel @rach5ive @strawberrykiwisdogog @bruhidkjustwannaread @mxltifxnd0m @sunshine-on-marz @big-ol-boat @mgchaser @capncrankle @chervbs @simpingdeadcharacters @nesnejwritings @stillhere197 @tearsforhan @take-it-on-the-run @iloveyou2mia @maxinehufflepuffprincess @ohgeehowdigethere @seninjakitey @berarenado @s0urw00lf @princessleahorgana @quarterhorse19 @isla-finke-blog @silverdoragon @karacaroldanvers @gayandfairycore @examishbookwyrm @star-yawnznn @real-sharena-h @fandomloverrr @metalmonki @onlyangel-444 @yu-winchester @benniwiththefanni @daisychaingirl @immagods @missmieux @yoongi-holland @littledebbieinabigworld

[lambmotifz]

dean fascination with sam sex life comes from his need to control every aspect of sam’s life. we need to talk more about sam’s submissiveness toward dean especially in later seasons. his willingness to let dean know every nook and corners of himself. sam is one the best hunter in the world and we know he can overpower basically anyone and he is extremely protective of his privacy yet he lets dean have access to him in a way no one else had and never will anyways dean would literally eat sam if he could he probably bite him a lot when they were younger

“sam can overpower basically anyone and he is extremely protective of his privacy yet he lets dean have access to him in a way no one else had and never will” yes, exactly this !! it makes me go insane how he lets himself get so vulnerable and trusting with dean and i feel like the fandom doesn’t talk about it enough. sam’s entire life is centered around fighting for control, and yet he can, wants to give up every bit of control when he’s with dean. i think his submissiveness partly comes from his need to be taken care of by dean (although early seasons sam struggles with admitting it to himself), and he trusts dean to take care of him, even despite the fact that there were times when dean hurt him. sam is able to be vulnerable with him in a way he can’t with anybody else. it’s all about trust, devotion and adoration, but i also think there’s a hint of possessiveness in it too. some part of sam loves that dean is the only one who gets to know him, to “own” him like this.

anyways yes. he’d let dean do anything to him, he’d let him bite him, fuck him, eat him alive. he willingly lets dean take control over him in every aspect, he lets him claim him as his own. because dean is always an exception

[watching-sam-and-dean-again]

Supernatural, Season 8 Sam Musings (Ranting):

There are many things I love about Season 8, like The church scene in Sacrifice, or the four (four!) brother-hugs we get throughout the season, or the moments of Dean trying to take care of Sam (even though Sam fights it), or having side characters that I actually like (for the most part … not Amelia), or the good moments of bad-brother-communication (there are some), but what I absolutely hate is the sacrificing of character for "story" that we see in this season.

So, shocking as this will be to the few who follow me or have read my thoughts (rants) before, but I’m a Sam-leaning brothers fan. And as someone who is Sam-girl adjacent, the beginning of Season 8 makes me ragey. Ironically, it was partially the "abuse" of Sam's character by the writers (among other things) that actually confirmed my tilt towards Sam because it forced me to think more deeply about Sam and his motivations. The writers also pulled some shady crap with Dean's character.

So, you can find my ramblings under the cut, if interested …

So, let’s tackle Sam's oft considered worst offense first: Sam not "looking for" Dean. What the actual fuck was this? I mean, I get it in theory; they brought Sam low in the start of the season, making him "betray" and "fail" Dean again, in order to high ten his rise to Savior Sam 2.0, but it was lazy writing, and almost unforgivable in two ways, out of character actions and failure to meaningfully explain said actions.

First, I’m sorry, but it’s just out of character to have Sam—Psychotic Without Dean—Winchester not look for his brother. We have so much canon proof of this that him not looking for Dean in season 8 is almost offensive. In "Faith" when Dean is going to die, Sam finds him to a "faith healer," and when it turns out another life was exchanged for Dean's, Sam obviously isn’t happy about it … but, I don’t exactly see him wishing to undo it either. In "In My Time of Dying," Sam is totally distraught throughout the entire episode because Dean is dying, even willing to embarrass himself in front of Dean by pulling out a "talking board" (or whatever it was called) just to try and communicate with him, and he wanted to save him so badly but didn’t know how. These two episode alone show us that Sam would not be okay with just "loosing" Dean, and that if Sam thinks there is even a hope of saving Dean, he isn’t just going to shrug and walk away. So, at the end of Season 7, if he thought Dean was still alive, the Sam we know should have been exhaustive,y hunting for Dean.

Second, if Sam thought Dean was dead, which I think was what the show was suggesting but could have made it more explicit, Sam should have been going insane, as he’s done in the past. In Mystery Spot, Sam basically becomes a revenge-driven automaton, even stabbing Fake Bobby in hope of getting Dean back. And when Dean is killed by the hellhound in "No Rest for the Wicked," Sam is destroyed. Season 4 shows us that Sam tried to trade his soul for Dean's, just an instant trade, but the demon wouldn’t deal. We see that Sam was full-on suicidal after losing Dean, basically attempting suicide by demon, drinking and taking pills. If Ruby hadn’t intervened (for her own evil purposes, but still…), he would have gotten himself killed, not might have. When none of the immediately self-distractive options worked, Sam once again went into full-on revenge mode. Sam without Dean, or at least Sam without a Dean alive somewhere in the world, is not okay. He is desperate and frightening.

Arguably, he’s not actually okay in Season 8 either, but his distress after losing Dean was too subtle, to the point that it almost makes him look a bit cold. So, to me at least, not seeing Sam very obviously fucked up, in some way beyond dating Amelia, over Dean's disappearance/death is a disservice to the character.

On the other hand, if the writers just needed Sam to not look for Dean because the drama was just too delicious for them … more important than, you know, staying true to character … then they should have bloody well shown us why. And showing us Sam shacking up with a bitchy pain in the ass Veterinarian was not giving him anything like fair treatment or good characterization, or understandable motivation.

Now, the subtext is that there was more going on in Sam's head than, "Oops, I hit a dog and met a rude vet. I guess I’ll just give up wondering if my brother is alive and move in with this woman who isn’t even particularly nice to me." He even said that hunting had gotten everyone he loved killed, and he that just "ran," in the first episode of the season. So, to me, this means Sam definitely thought Dean was dead, but the show doesn’t actually make it explicitly clear, at least I don’t think so. And this matters because there is a big difference between thinking Dean was lost and not looking for him VS thinking Dean is dead and not trying to sell his soul (or something else mystical and dangerous) to bring him back to life. It’s actually breaking the cycle and healthier for Sam to believe Dean is in heaven, and try to move on, but the show frames his actions, through Dean and Bobby as this huge failure of character. Also, Sam choosing running away from hunting (which has gotten everyone he loves killed) VS giving into revenge and basic insanity again, while not healthy in its escapism, is actually better than becoming an obsessive psycho. So, not just the fact that Sam didn’t look for Dean that is the problem, it’s the execution of how and why he didn’t look for Dean, or lack of exploration around these issues, that I’m especially annoyed by.

So, because we got what we got in the start of Season 8, my explanation to make it work, or headcanon, is that when Sam thought Dean was killed (not just missing) in the explosion of dick 😏, he utterly fell apart. As in, he collapsed in a heap and lost himself in his own head for a while. Maybe he even went a little insane again, sure that he was having a terrible hell-ucination again, even though Cas had supposedly taken his insanity onto himself at this point. Maybe he even feared he was still in the cage after all, and living through yet another nightmare scenario. So, Sam shattered. When he finally pulls himself together, he realizes he has two options, lose himself again in revenge and obsession over trying to bring Dean back to life, or give up the life that has brought him nothing but pain (and Dean, but Dean's gone now). So, he goes with the latter, thinking surly Dean would prefer that he try to live a normal, non-hunting life rather than utterly losing himself in suicidal behavior and revenge again … right?

What the show doesn’t bother to address either, and what many fans seem not to consider or care about, is that pre-Season 8 Sam has only had the devil out of his head for a matter of weeks/months at this point, and he’s still chalk full of fairly newly recalled hell trauma from being stuck in the cage with said devil for over a hundred years. Dean still wasn’t okay in Season 5, a season after getting out of his 40 year stint in hell, and the show addressed this pretty clearly, which is good. With Sam, the show doesn’t bother to remind the audience of his trauma or link it in any meaningful way to Sam's decision to give up hunting and not try to get Dean beck.

I think that’s the most unforgivable part of the first half of the season for me, not showing us in a way that, while some fans might still not consider it a good enough reason, the audience can at least understand why Sam made the choice he did. If the writers wanted Sam to make a decision that was not consistent with what we have seen of him this far, then they needed to show us why he acted differently this time. The show gave us a buttload of flashbacks (often not smoothly), so they could have very easily given us a few flashbacks of Sam falling apart, choosing to try to live without going insane over Dean, grieving his brother. We could have seen these things and still had time for him to meet and stay with a woman (not Amelia) for even, say, six months before Dean gets out of purgatory. Dean could even not be satisfied with Sam's explanation, or Sam could get defensive and not tell Dean how bad he was doing at first, so the brother drama could still be in tact, but at least the audience would understand Sam's motivations more. In a show where Dean usually gets the benefit of the doubt due to being our more regular POV protagonist, the narrative, and his protectiveness, it was a poor choice not to flesh out Sam's decisions more.

Season 8 was one of the rare times we actually see things from Sam's POV fairly often, and they wasted it on an unlikable love interest and half-explained motivations. The way the season is structured, it looks like it’s actually trying to argue that Amelia was the reason Sam gave up hunting (and Dean), but then it depicts her as incredibly harsh, annoying, and, frankly, not worth giving up Dean for. Giving Sam this particular love interest, one he has no chemistry with, makes it even harder to empathize with him because we (or most of the audience) don’t like her.

The real reason Sam gives up is essentially that hunting cost him too much, and he was too broken to carry on after losing Dean. But, the emphasis on the relationship, even though it’s explained that Sam and Amelia were basically just two broken people pulled together by their pain, doesn’t do enough to actually make it appealing, or to make me buy that Sam even loves her. I get that the show isn’t on the side of Sam living a normal life, and that’s actually fine, but making the relationship so … lame just helps stack the deck against Sam.

Meanwhile, Dean's friend-who-isn’t-Sam is incredibly likable, so we sympathize with Dean giving up Benny for Sam mid season, but most of us have been waiting for the moment when we no longer have to see Amelia being grating all over our screens since pretty much the first time we saw her. Thus, Dean's jealousy, dismissive remarks regarding Amelia, and his casual cruelty in letting Sam think she’s in danger just to get him out of the way, have less weight with the audience because so many of us don’t like her anyway. Whereas, Sam's sudden hate for vampires when he’s always been the more sympathetic brother when it comes to monsters, feels like it comes out of nowhere. And he ends up looking like a dick because the audience knows that Benny is a good guy (vampire), even though Sam doesn’t. Dean is no less jealous of Amelia than Sam is of Benny, but it comes across as more unreasonable in Sam's case. And he seems to be the only one who is often considered to be acting petty.

Here too, I feel the show does a bad job showing Sam's motivations. Sam has an instant hate-on for Benny, and his stated reasons are pretty much … he’s a vampire. And when arguing with Dean, the show has Sam bring up Amy. I mean, sure, Amy was a more recent monster and issue in their lives, but she isn’t a fitting Benny parallel, in my opinion. To me, Benny was to Sam, what Ruby was to Dean. They are both monsters: vampire VS demon. They both saved a brother’s life: Ruby saved a suicidal Sam VS Benny saving Dean in a land of Monsters. Both fought alongside a brother for a shared goal: Sam killing Lilith vs Dean getting out of Purgatory. Both monsters caused jealousy for sort of replacing the other brother: Sam chose to trust Ruby over Dean regarding Lilith VS Dean literally telling Sam that Benny (unlike Sam) has never let him down, and he lies to Sam to protect Benny. Sam should have brought up the mistake of trusting Ruby in their argument, if he thinks Dean is wrong to trust Benny. Of course, if Sam so much as said "Ruby," Dean would probably just fixate on Sam not listening to him back then. The thing is, looking at the Benny issue in relation to Ruby, it’s actually fair that Sam distrusts Benny. Of course, i do I think he’s also jealous and feels guilty.

Anyway, the season then sort of tries to make up for Sam being hard to sympathize with, by making Dean be straight up cruel to him a few times, which I don’t love either.

[adanmwere]

everyone is asleep (my friends) so I am here to Yap about supernatural ^__^ it's gonna be a mess and uhhh random things? just kind of my thoughts (?)

ramble under the cut

ALSO!! SPOILERS FOR S6 AND SEASONS BEFORE THAT

SOOO auggoo ok. So i'm on s6 right and can we all agree soulless sam sucks.. or am I just weird BECAUSE like yeah I get the appeal of him the more uhh tougher sam but something about him having no sympathy towards his brother. it makes me miss their dynamic like them caring for each other but now Sam just doesn't truly care. he has to pretend to and to make it worst Crowley Is the one behind this. NONETHELESS bisexual as hell dean the vampire calling him pretty? He go "Nuh uh" LOL (i'm going insane.) nonetheless (I say that all to much ignore that) Like wym that's Sam no it isn't that is not my Sam Winchester #savesamwinchsterfromcrowley or sowmthibg idk LOL i'm half awake don't OH MY GOD IS THAT A FAIRY? THING? (i'm watching supernatural as I type) LMFAO.. IN THE MICROWAVE? oh my god. What is he on Is this man on drugs what did they do to my son dean anyways minus thattt castiel needs to be more in s6 I miss them and I saw him 2 episodes ago where is my son I lost my son I can't find him *puts up a missing poster* (I'm SO CRINGE LOLLLLL) aggggahhauo

I'm still so heart broken Gabriel died in like... NOT FAIR HE BARELY HAD ANY SCREEN TIME AND HE FUCKING LIEK !! WAS MAKING A CHBABnge just when I was like starting to like him cw says Nuh uh he dead now L + bozo has a heart attsck and dies rught here family guy death plose Please why do you do this spn I hate you I zzcried YESTERDAY. fun fact (who doesn't) this show is so painful I cried on call w my girlfriend and had s melt down LMFAO spn 5 ending hurt me AGGGSUH. you guys understand my pain rught righr... Cuddlin eith my cat currently to uheherm idk Zbut thank YIYY FOR LIKE!!! LIKING NY WRITING :3 IT Makes me sohappp y Ok that's hella off topic i'm hyper IS THAT A FAIFY WHAT JDTGST what is this. Chat Dean is loosing it (he never had it to begin with what am I talking about)

my son he is very sick (Please gelp him) :(.. I miss him I miss him he hasn't seen his husband in a motbh someone end the war now I need him fto kiss dean noe, idk if it is just mean but when spn was on cw like I don't remember cas and I watched it around the tome it came out (I missed a lot of seasons and stuff) BUT like where did he come grom am I stupid ??? (Don't answer that.)

[targaryenluvs]

congrats on 3.6 k followers and 100k likes, that's an insanely large number!! Your hunger games fics have been life changing, I love them all so much!!

could I please get a ship for supernatural? I'm a straight female and my pronouns are she/her

I love reading, my favorite genres are poetry, Russian lit, and mysteries! I love learning about new things and knowing a little bit of everything. I adore adventures, witty and playful banter, joking around and having indepth discussions on anything and everything! I enjoy working out and I'm pretty good at tennis! I listen to a lot of modern/indie rock and I love watching films very much! It takes me a while to feel comfortable around new people, but once I do, I become really talkative and outgoing. I love helping out and I'm the therapist friend, people come to me to vent or for advice and comfort. I'm smart and ambitious; I love being the best at everything I do. I'm quite the hopeless romantic and I love being in love! I adore big and small romantic gestures and I love domesticity sm!! My love languages are acts of service and quality time. I'm a ravenclaw, my mbti is infp and my enneagram is 4w3!

I'm 5'9 and I have long and curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. I have a fair skin tone, I'm slim and I've got full lips and fairly large eyes. I also have these dimples that I really like!

Thank you very much!! Here's to so many more milestones <3

so you might just be me? my fellow ravenclaw i send a million kisses your way! you seem like such a comfortable person to be around if that makes any sense at all! i’m so glad you liked my hunger games fics and i cannot thank you enough for reading ❤️

and the second i started reading you screamed to me…

sam winchester!

•

cozy

“hey sammy.”

sam jolted awake at the sound of your voice, “shit, didn’t mean to scare you.” you laughed before sitting down in the chair infront of him, “no! you didn’t, you’re fine.” you couldn’t help but notice the slight drool on his cheek and the papers strewn about.

“how about we take a break from all the research for a bit and we can go on a jog?” he sighed before rubbing his eyes, “we need to keep researching y/n.” you shook your head, “hey, as much as i love just sitting with you, i need to make sure you don’t die on my watch sam. you look like hell.”

“like he’d know anything about it.”

the door swung open to the motel room as dean returned with coffee and donuts. he chuckled to himself whilst putting down the items on the table, minding the research. “not funny.” sam spoke whilst you giggled, “i mean, it kinda is.”

“see sammy? even curls here agrees with me, seems like you’re losing your touch.”

“my touch? i’m not touching anything?”

“yeah but i bet you’d like to, i sure as hell would.” you rolled your eyes before bumping dean with your shoulder, “you never take a break huh?” dean smiled with a mouthful of powdered donuts, “never.”

you stood up from the table, announcing your departure, “i’m going to go change, and when i’m back we are going on a jog. fill up my waterbottle please.” sam nodded as he moved to pick your bottle up from the nightstand by your guys’ bed.

you’d entered the bathroom whilst dean and sam were outside. “so,” sam furrowed his eyebrows, “what is it?” dean uncrossed his legs and turned towards sam, placing his feet on the floor. “you and curley over there. she likes you sam.”

he let out a scoff as he filled up your bottle, “no she doesn’t dean, quit it.” the older winchester groaned before walking to the taller of the pair, “you have got to be blind if you don’t see it sammy. she cares about you, all the time. you two nerds are always sitting together, talking about some random poet or case. she asks you to fill her bottle and you do. you fall asleep and you wake up with a blanket on your shoulders. you think i’m the one making sure you’re cozy?”

sam didn’t notice the bottle overflowing until dean turned the tap off.

before he could reply, you walked out into the room, hair up, running shoes on and in his jumper. “you ready?” sam had made the wise decision of choosing track pants the night before, “yeah, let’s go.” he didn’t miss deans grin as you opened the door, “wait i’ll get my bottle—,”

“just share from mine, no worries.” your smile was as bright as usual, and as your dark eyes landed on him, sam couldn’t help but wonder.

maybe you do like him, since he certainly likes you.

[quietwingsinthesky]

More titles!! (no pressure)

- AITA for """"being insane"""" about My Little Pony

- ah yes. me, my partner, and their 1000 dollar four foot tall blahaj

- Goin' faster than a roller coaster >:)

- googly eyes and other things your stomach can't digest

- that awkward moment when you realize you've been dead for days

- r/relationship_advice: my (cute) neighbor keeps trying to kill me but I'm immortal

- Report: Average Male 4,000% Less Effective In Fight Than He Imagined

- ball handler https://youtu.be/bh9KvSDxU5w

- jailbreak

- I love you but we need to talk about the goat

LIGHTNING ROUND PT 2

terrible early 2010s creepypasta involving hyperrealistic ponies with knives

2. this is about raphael. we all know this is about raphael. it's their blahaj and they love it and it WILL be sleeping in the bed with them and gabriel thank you very much

3. crack reinvention of lucifer's s5 approach towards sam, in which he is trying his very best to get angel-married to a guy he just met, after being stuck in a cage for centuries, and every other archangel is going D: because this is not actually the normal way to approach a vessel. sam gets many shovel talks and has no idea why.

4. mass effect fic about baby krogan. 'nuff said.

5. godstiel doesn't manage to kill raphael! it's a miracle. except. no one can see them. or hear them. and as the world continues to collapse in on themselves, they are forced to watch as their brothers are destroyed and heaven falls and there is nothing they can do about it (raphael whump yippee <3)

6. samwena stanford au where. idk. rowena is around and doing witch shit and sam goes 'oh shit i better take care of that'. he is so out of his league it isn't even funny, but also he's very cute and a milf magnet and so she's taking him as her new boytoy (and then along the way acquires far more feelings than she expected. so does sam.) this all makes the 'dean coming to get him in the pilot' plot a lot more complicated.

7. Michean fic where michael goes to fetch his true vessel himself instead of sending zachariah. dean keeps stabbing him. he won't even let michael get started on his speech about how this is all god's will and inevitable and the right thing to do as good sons, he just goes straight for the stabbing. and like. it doesn't actually hurt michael. but still. it's rude.

8. (ajslajdklasjdlk that clip) anyway in honor of this. sastiel blow job fic. with. ball handling :) sam is getting those balls in his mouth and no one can stop him

9. correct me if im wrong but wasn't crowley stuck in the dungeon in s9 when gadreel killed kevin? been forever since i watched s9 i do not like it lmao BUT. my point is. kevin & crowley team up. they hate each other. unfortunately if they do not do this one or both of them will die. plus at this point kevin is so fed up with sam & dean that he's like. Fuck it! At least Crowley would pay me for this shit! because crowley actually values his assets <3 actually hold on is this evolving into like a crowley sugar daddy au what is happeni-

10. castiel gets turned into a goat. sam knows this but he has also been cursed and cannot tell anyone that castiel is, currently, a goat. dean does not know about either of these things and shenanigans ensue as sam is really, really insistent that they need to get goat!castiel into the impala. (goat!castiel is not helping because he has discovered the vinyl impala seats are very yummy.)

[slutforsfender]

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐞𝐧 - 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭, 𝐬𝐚𝐦 𝐟𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐚𝐦

"Mam I'm off to meet Deano for a few pints. See ya later" I shout through the house as I slip on my shoes.

"Alright love, make sure you two stay out of trouble. Love you pet" She shouts back and I respond as I shut the door.

I had asked if Dean wanted a few pints because I needed to open up to someone about Arabella and I knew he would listen and tell me his true opinions on the situation. He was my best friend and lead guitarist after all.

I got to the Low Lights quite quickly as I just thought over the same topic, her. I spotted Dean straight away at our normal table in the corner near the bar.

"Here he is, what's with suspicious just us meeting like? Tryna make a move on us lad?" Dean joked as I sat next to him with the pint he had waiting for me.

"You're proper hilarious yanno Deano" I retorted.

"Seriously though what's going on?" He asked as I gulped a part of my pint down.

"I kissed Arabella" I whispered, staring around the familiar bar not daring to look at him.

"You fuckin what?" He shouted, confusion and shock bubbling in him.

"I know I know, be mad all you like," I said, putting my hands up in defeat.

"Get talking now" He demanded.

I explained everything that had happened since she had come back home. As I went over the details I realised how chaotic this all was, we were still acting like those teenagers just more hurt.

"I thought you had moved on lad, I mean you haven't mentioned her since that night back when we were eighteen" Dean spoke, sinking everything in.

"I pushed it away, yanno pretended it never happened like. Figured I'd never see her again and that I fucked up way too much for anything to ever happen if I did see her" I explained.

"Well you've got one thing right, you did fuck up massively Sam. You know I won't defend you over then. The only question I have is how do you feel now?" He questioned, making me think for a second.

"I know me and her are way too fucked up from the past for it to be easy but I love her. I want her back. I know it's selfish and I hate myself for it because I don't even know anything about how she feels about us. There's just something about her I don't want to let go" I said, sighing before downing my second drink.

"You need to talk to her Sam, the poor girl must be driving herself insane. You broke her into a million pieces, she ran away for fucks sake" Dean spoke and I knew right then and there I had to go talk to her now.

"I'm ganna go now, I won't do it otherwise and fuck up more," I said and didn't even let him speak before I darted out and walked towards her house.

I made my way outside her house and knocked before I had the time to turn around.

"Sam? What are you doing here?" Arabella questioned as she opened the door.

She was wearing jeans and a graphic t-shirt, looking beautiful as ever with her glasses. Fuck she was out of my league but she always has been.

"I need to talk to you, Rose. Are your grandparents here?" I asked before stepping in.

"No, they went out for the night. It's just me but you should go Sam" She spoke going to close the door before I stopped it.

"We need to talk. Please Arabella" I practically begged until she let me in and guided me to the living room.

"Go on then. What's so urgent?" She urged me on as she stood on the other side of the room, keeping as much distance.

"Us. The other night when we kissed"

"Sam it was just a kiss. We were caught up in emotions and went too far. There's no point in bringing up the past" She panicked out but I knew her too well to know that isn't how she felt.

"Bullshit Arabella. There are so many reasons to bring up the past. We can't run around for the rest of our lives being hurt, writing songs about each other but never ever bringing the mysterious past of us" I spoke, anger building at her coldness.

"It's no mystery that you broke my heart, became the Sam Fender and I ran away. The whole fucking town knows Sam, I still get fucking looks and questions" She retorted, now clinging onto her locket as her anger rose.

"So you're telling me the other night, you felt nothing. It was just past emotions" I shouted.

"We're hardly going to have a romance story, Sam, look at our history. It's the first time I've seen you in ten years. We were eighteen Sam"

"Prove it, kiss me without any feelings" I spoke gently.

"I'm not kissing you when you broke my heart twelve years ago Sam" She whispered, not daring to look me in the eyes.

"That's what it's about. I'm scared too but we could work this time Arabella. Give us one chance please" I said, standing closer to her now.

"You're a liar. You aren't scared at all. You are going to play the same trick all over again and I can't take it again" She spoke, looking me in the eyes now.

"I didn't play any trick at all I promise"

"You lied when you broke up with me, you lied when we were together and you are lying now" She shouted, tears in her eyes.

"I screwed up all right I will admit that but I have never once lied to you without having a good reason. We can just talk this out, and fix all of our history" I shouted back.

"You're in my head, even when you aren't supposed to be. It shouldn't be this hard to let go of teenage love" She whispered, tears now escaping her eyes.

I shook my head as tears made their way to my eyes, looking at her. I hated myself. I hated myself for making all this mess and I can't even tell her why. I hated myself for still loving her.

"You need to go now please" She whispered again, her voice breaking so slightly.

"No please, we can talk or shout. Just please don't give up. I'm not giving up" I stood my place as she came closer to get rid of me.

"Leave now Sam" She shouted, shoving me. "Leave please" She shouted again, continuously pushing me until I stopped her by putting my hands on hers.

She looked me in the eyes, her red raw eyes hurt my heart physically knowing it was my fault and I knew I had to leave as she shook her head crying at me.

I walked out the door and watched her shadow sink to the floor through her curtains making the tears of anger leave my eyes finally. I knew this was torturing me as I turned around and made my way home, wanting to disappear.

I ran into my room, not wanting to worry my mum. I straight slammed the door and screamed at myself. I didn't even have time to think before I punched my wall and bruised all my knuckles before smashing a glass at the wall.

God, I hated myself for everything I had done to her. 

----

this is a long chapter but a needed one. told ya it weren't gonna be simple. dramaaaa. hope you enjoy love ya x

[hahahahahangst]

As the world caves in (Be The Young 48)

TW: [suicidal thoughts, self h*rm, violence] Other tags: [sister fic, canon-level violence, angst] All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will occasionally break canon✨ .

Summary: Emily Reed, born and raised in Portland, is preparing her admission papers for Stanford, medical school. One night, a fire erupts in her house. All that is left is a letter and a name: John Winchester.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

NOTE: if you’re just starting out reading this, I suggest you READ THIS FIC ON AO3, as I posted this on there in a REVISED, somewhat EXPANDED version, including journal entries and more accurate tags.

BTY MASTERLIST

GENERAL MASTERLIST

As the world caves in

The papers say it's doomsday The button has been pressed We're gonna nuke each other up, boys 'Til old Satan stands impressed

“Are you completely insane?” Yelled Emily. Dean rolled his eyes. “We’re not letting Sam say yes to Lucifer, for God’s sake!” 

“Listen- it’s not our decision to take, he’s a grown man.”

“Yeah, a grown man who’s about to make a big mistake!” 

“It’s the best shot we have.” Sighed Dean. “...and if that’s what he wants, we have to let him do it.” 

That's how they left it. After spending all that time talking Dean out of the ledge, he had willingly decided to help Sam jump off the building instead. But Emily would havve lied if she said she hadn’t thought of it herself. Sam under the effect of enough demon blood was strong. Strong enough to kill Lilith, so maybe… maybe he was strong enough to take on Lucifer.

She laid in her bedroom, alone. They were going to leave the motel in the morning to collect as much demon blood as possible. She stared at the ceiling, silently crying. 

They were all going to die.

It was them against the archangel Micheal. Them against Lucifer. There wasn’t much of a chance for them to survive. The best case scenario was Sam’s death. 

There was no scenario where they all survived the night. 

As she was still standing, her hands still mid-air where Ramiel’s neck used to be, someone knocked at the door. 

“Give me a second.” She said. She quickly wore her underwear and her t-shirt and opened the door. Sam was on the other side. “Hey.” 

Sam looked inside the room, confused. “What happened? It looks like a tornado went through here.” 

“What is it Sammy?” She asked, ignoring his questions and letting him in the room. She opened the small window to change some of the air. 

Sam crossed his arms. “We need to talk about something.” 

“Alright, what is it?” Emily sat on her bed while Sam sat on a chair. 

“It’s about Dean.” 

Emily raised her eyebrows. “Dean?” She repeated.

“Yeah, listen, if we make it and I jump in the pit, I can’t come back, so I- I made Dean promise not to bring me back and to go live a normal life. I need you to promise me something else.” 

“Sure, whatever you need.” She smiled. 

“I need you to be with him.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean you know better than me what happens to Dean when he’s sad, I- I need you to look after him.” 

Emily nodded. “Of course.”  

“Thank you, Emily.” 

Silence fell into the room for a bit. “Sam, it’s going to suck without you.” 

“You two are going to be fine.” He answered. “You’ll have the normal life you always wanted. Maybe, who knows- you’ll even get to go to med school.” 

“Nah.” She scoffed. “I’ve seen enough blood in my life.” 

The following day, everything was ready. Gallons and gallons of demon blood were poured in several jugs that now sat in the Impala. 

Dean and Emily leaned on the side of the car while Sam was drinking. 

“I can’t believe it’s happening again.” Said Dean, staring blankly in front of him. 

“I know, right?” Emily answered, but Dean didn’t seem to hear her.

Sam closed the trunk and started walking towards the street. Emily and Dean quickly looked back at Castiel and Bobby before following their brother. 

The demons took them to Lucifer. 

"Sorry if it's a bit chilly. Most people think I burn hot. It's actually quite the opposite." He said, drawing on the condensed glass. "Help me understand something, guys. I mean, stomping through my front door is... a tad suicidal, don't you think?" 

"That's not why we're here." Said Emily, crossing her arms. 

"No? Then why are you?"

Sam hesitated for a second before answering. Emily could feel him get more and more nervous, the demon blood making his own blood boil in anger. "I want to say yes." With his words, the two demons that were in the room dropped dead on the floor. 

"Chock-full of Ovaltine, are we?" 

“You heard me. Yes.” Repeated Sam, challenging. 

Lucifer smiled. “You're serious.”

“Look, Judgment Day's a runaway train. We get it now. We just want off.” Sam started to get impatient. Emily didn’t dare to intervene, but she shot a glare to Dean: she was getting a weird feeling. 

“Meaning?” The devil seemed interested in knowing more. Way too interested. That’s how Emily knew something was definitely wrong. She looked at Dean again and raised her eyebrows. He didn’t seem to understand. 

“Deal of the century. I give you a free ride, but when it's all over, I live, they live, you bring our parents back and-” As Sam listed his demands, Lucifer’s smile grew.

“Okay, can we please drop the telenovela? I know you have the rings, Sam.”

Emily felt Sam’s hopes go down a little, while hers were already on the floor. She closed her eyes, trying to keep calm. 

“I have no idea what you're talking about.” Answered Sam. 

“The Horsemen's rings? The magic keys to my Cage? Ring a bell?” Listed the Devil, walking closer to them. “Come on, Sam. I've never lied to you. You could at least pay me the same respect.” Sam seemed to be about to speak, but Lucifer kept going. “It's okay. I'm not mad. A wrestling match inside your noggin…” Lucifer paused dramatically. “I like the idea. Just you and me, one round, no tricks. You win, you jump in the hole. I win... Well, then I win.”

Sam, this is stupid- She tried to think. All she got back was Sam’s messy thoughts, a mix between anger and fear. “What do you say, Sam? A fiddle of gold against your soul says I'm better than you.” Concluded the Devil. 

“So he knows. Doesn't change anything.” Sam turned towards Emily. 

“Sam, d-” Dean also tried to intervene, but Sam’s mind was made up. And so was Lucifer’s. 

As the Devil closed his eyes, a bright light started to emanate from him, forcing Emily to close her eyes. When she opened them, Sam was lying on the floor and there was no sign of Lucifer’s old vessel. She watched as Dean threw the four rings on the wall and recited the formula to open the cage. The wall cracked loudly and transformed into a hole that drew everything in it. 

Holding on a metal pipe, Emily saw Sam struggle to stand up. But she knew: it wasn’t him, not anymore. 

Sam was gone. 

Dean rushed to help him. Emily watched everything happen like it was on mute. 

“Dean-” She called. Trying to get his attention. He didn’t seem to hear her, so she called him again. “DEAN!” He briefly looked at her, but he was too busy trying to help Sam into the hole. That was until Sam started smiling, amused and proud of his performance. 

“I’m just messing with you.” He said. “Sammy’s long gone.” 

Lucifer disappeared with the four rings, leaving Dean and Emily alone in the room. 

That was it. 

Their only chance of stopping the apocalypse, gone. 

Emily looked at Dean. He was clearly on the verge of crying. 

“FUCK!” She threw a chair on the same wall where, just a handful of seconds before, was the hole, and then slid on the same wall, falling on the floor. She looked at Dean, who was staring at the ceiling. 

There was nothing else they could do. Sam was gone with the rings and, most importantly, their only chance of stopping the apocalypse. 

Emily sat on the couch, absentmindedly staring at the tv in front of her. Dean was sitting on a chair, not far away. Castiel stood behind the couch and Bobby was leaning in the doorway. “Reports are flooding in – a 7.6 earthquake in Portland, 8.1 in Boston, more in Hong Kong, Berlin, and Tehran. The U.S.G.S. has no explanation but says to expect a six-figure death toll.” Said the reporter on the tv. 

Castiel was the one to break the silence. “It's starting.”

“Yeah, you think, genius?” Said Dean, bitter. 

“Dean, come on…” Emily sat a bit straighter. “It’s literally the end of the world.”

“Do you have any idea?” He answered.

“Other than being mean to Cas? Well-” 

“That’s not what I-” Dean rolled his eyes. “I meant, how do we stop it?”

“May I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol and just wait for the inevitable blast wave.” Said Castiel. Dean seemed upset. 

“Dean, come on, Cas is right.” She stood up. “Sam was our only chance. We tanked it.” 

“There has to be something else we can try!” 

“Dean…” Exhaled Emily. He completely ignored her. 

“There isn’t.” Said Castiel. “Lucifer will meet Michael on the chosen field, and the battle of Armageddon begins.”

“Listen to me, you junkless sissy-” Dean moved a step towards Castiel. 

“Dean!” Called Emily again. She was ignored again.

“...we’re not giving up!” 

“Dean!” The third time, he finally turned towards her. 

“What?!”

“Nobody is giving up, we-” Emily sighed. “We just ran out of options.”

Dean looked at her, angry. And he was clearly about to argue with her, but then he stopped, struck by an idea. He quickly took out his phone and called Chuck. Emily put her hands on her waist and walked out the room mumbling profanities that Castiel would have definitely disapproved of. 

She had been trying not to cry all day. She closed the door to her room behind her and turned off the light. She let the complete darkness envelop her and drew a big breath. 

Sam was dead. It was all she could think about. They never had good chances of success and she knew, but she had wanted to believe. She chose to trust Sam in this crazy mission, when just two weeks before she had slapped Dean for even suggesting the same exact thing. 

Her string of thoughts was interrupted by someone knocking on the door. She opened it, letting in a beam of dim light and Dean. "Emily, we're going."

"Where?"

"We're gonna talk to Sam." 

Emily sighed in resignation. "...Dean." 

"Emily it's Sam. I'm not gonna let him die alone." In the shadow, Emily could see he was just scared. If they were all going to die, at least they should have died together. 

"Okay." She nodded. 

Emily came back to her senses after Sam had punched her repeatedly against a tree. She groaned, in pain, touching her broken nose. She felt the blood drying on her face, mixing with the fresh one, as the tree's cortex had scratched the back of her head, taking with it parts of her scalp with still some hair attached. She knew she was about to pass out again soon. Everything hurt. There was not a single part of her body that was not screaming for mercy. She was able to open one of her eyes wide enough to see Dean, ten feet away from her, also being beaten down. 

"S-" She tried to talk, but a strong pain to her lungs and jaw stopped her. There was nothing she could do. Now unable to close her eye back down, her socket growing more swollen every second, she had to keep looking as Dean took punch over punch. That was not how she imagined dying with her brothers was going to be like. 

The pain grew, she was going to pass out again. The last thing she saw was Sam's fist landing on Dean's face. 

When her eyes saw light again, she was significantly less in pain. 

It reminded her of the moment she woke up after being brought back from hell. It was quiet. Really quiet. Above her were Dean and Castiel, who was moving his hand away from her forehead. 

"Are you okay?" Asked Dean. Emily sat up, trying to understand what she was feeling. She touched her face, no blood. Her clothes were clean. 

"I think I'm okay, did-" She looked around, looking for Sam, Lucifer or any other sign of her brother. 

"He jumped." Said Dean. "We did it."

[diazpatcher]

accidentally posted this so let's continue

Sam and Dean in therapy by accident 😭💀

OH sam actually addressing the favoritism Mary displayed is !!! yes gimme

Dean actually being confronted with his issues

Hey uh can we Talk about how good of an actor Misha is??? it's insane!!!!

the empty is so me "I need sleep"

Cass annoying the empty into kicking him out is the funniest thing ever

Correct me if I'm wrong but it has been like 5 ish seasons since dean cried right? like he hasn't cried in a while

The way Dean's mood shifts the second Castiel is back??? they're in love 😭

"Im your huckleberry" Cass says and Dean swallows so hard he actually took out all the air in the car with him g a y

They dressed up as cowboys together I love them ❤️

Jack copying Dean's behavior 🥺

so jack is Dean and Cass lovechild right? like no questions there

The "Wayward sisters" Episode is so beautiful 😭 I want a spin off of them <3

also s13 feels just all over the place, Satan, Cass, vampirism, oh and also MULTIDIMENSIONAL TRAVEL???

GABE IS ALIVE OH MY POOR BABY

Also he is beyond traumatized

DUDE SAM BEYING RESURRECTED BY LUCIFER?????? IM GONNA BE SICK DEAN THINKING HE IS DEAD TELLING MARY, CASS ACTUALLY BEING IN DISTRESS AND THEN THEN THEN LUXIFER SAVES HIM????????

nah bc why tf IS MARY SO HOT ON ABANDONING SAM AND DEAN WHAT THE FUCK

Lucifer trying to be Jacks father when Jack looks so much like Cass is a criminally funny

of course, they end up sacrificing both archangels to save a bunch of alternative versions of humans

Sam teaching the alternative versions about earth is so fucking funny help

DO NOT tell me bobby and Mary end up together, jfc it's fucking weird

Dean checking in on Jack having nightmares, he is so dad shaped 🥹

"you me Cass toes in the sand" HE WANTED TO GO TO THE BEACH MAN 😭 (s13 wp 23)

everyone who said Dean treat Jack the way John treated him must be tripping bc Dean is so caring towards him (now) even though he was paranoid of him at first

haven't mentioned this in a while but I fucking love Castiel like, when he pulled lucofers head back by his hair and threatened him? I folded so fast

Jack hurting himself as punishment bc he is not good enough? 😭

NO MICHAEL?

I desperately need Cas to get his wings back

"sam is a big fat liar, and freakishly tall" making fun of Sams height is never not funny

so luci confirming that Angel's can travel everywhere is insane

also Jack being a big star wars fan is so sweet he is just a boy 🥹🫠

Lucifers eyes being the only ones who glow Red is so interesting like tell me more about thay why, how, hmmmm

if they're runnign low on angels, why don't they just make more nephilims to you know be angels ?

"great well just add that to the list" Dean you comedian

angels in trenchcoats seems to be a theme lol

love that Dean has is very own angel blade

Sam praying to Jack oh sweet

Lucifer actually wanting to spent time with Jack is so sweet

Jack being the one to kill Michael is so wonderful in such a poetic way man

"You're not my father, you're a monster" slay jack slay

NO JACK BABY NO HOW Sam????????? WHAY THE FUVK

i caved and started watching supernatural and Jesus fucking christ why are they so funny

[ashtraythief]

Are you a hardcore Sam fan or a hardcore Dean fan? I don’t know if you’ve ever talked about this before! I think for me Sam & Dean are a package deal so it’s hard for me to separate them. I probably lean towards Dean, though, mainly partly because Jensen is the most attractive person alive. What about you?

Huh, I don't know if I have, nonnie, but I'm with you, they're a package deal for me too. The most interesting thing about them is their relationship I think. Because it's beautiful and all-encompassing and codependent and unhealthy and so single-minded. They're so different, but they work and they're both brave and determined which means in the end nothing can stand in their way and that's beautiful. Their relationship also develops and evolves which makes it even better. There's the default togetherness of the past, the rebellious separation, the anewed togetherness, first by need and circumstances and then by choice, there are fights and misunderstandings and temporary separations, but they always come back to each other, become more honest with each other and that's just beautiful. 

Ahem. Sorry, I just love them so much. But. If I had to pick. Give points. Make a ranking, whatever, I am slightly leaning Dean. Because yes, for shallow reasons, I also think Jensen Ackles is the most beautiful person I've ever seen in my life (don't get me wrong, Jared's both hot like burning and insanely cute, a feat not many people can pull off, but Jensen is either proof of alien life or a fae prince in exile on earth, I don't know, but he's not fucking human). From a story telling point, it's easier to get to know Dean and to emphasize with him. Sam keeps a lot of secrets in the beginning because the mytharc revolves around him and Dean kind of wears his heart on his sleeve and is the one being vulnerable. Dean's also a little dorkier, a little nerdier, gets the car and the music, while Sam's humor is more sassy and we don't really learn a lot about his likes and dislikes in the beginning except that he's not as much fun as Dean. Which is not bad, and poor boy is grieving, and Dean can be annoying, but I think there are more Dean girls in fandom and I think this is maybe one of the reasons why. As the show goes on and we learn more about Sam, he of course has the sort of almost villain arc in season 4 (the show says it itself, the blood drinking is a tough pill to swallow esp because you know he's wrong), but the way he worked for his redemption and made the ultimate sacrifice in the end, man, I never loved Sam more than at the end of season five. What he went through, the pain, the loss, learning his entire fucking life was a staged theater by Azazel to manipulate him into saying yes, and after being duped by Ruby, after falling victim to his own hubris and anger, after trying to make amends and overcoming his addiction, he still has to jump into the cage and he does… motherfucking hearteyes for Sam motherfucking Winchester. His strength and determination and the discipline he has most of the time almost elevate him to some kind of super human level. Dean obviously is just as brave, mostly just as strong (he does have his doubt arc in s5 which he overcomes because of Sammy of course), just as determined, but Dean's also a functioning alcoholic (depending on the season), seeks out meaningless sex with women to fill a void, and is just a little bit more of a mess which makes him more human I think, more relatable. Sam's maybe a smidge more admirable, while Dean has the edge on lovable. I'm nitpicking here of course. Both of these characters are larger than life heroes with their only real flaws being their love for each other (though it's really only a flaw for the characters who get sacrificed in Sam and Dean's endless quest to save each other). Yes, Sam can be closed off and Dean can be annoying and overbearing, Sam's a controlling know-it all and Dean's a bundle of daddy issues with I know what's best tendencies, but like. How can you not love them? They both are strong and honorable, they're smart in different ways that work well together, they're brave and compassionate, they risk their lives to save other people, they have fun little quirks and interests, they are witty and have great sense of humor. Different enough to create fun teasing friction but also complimenting each other. What makes these characters so special and what made supernatural work for so long is that they're layered and complex characters with strengths and weaknesses that are written mostly consistently and they're both I think among my most beloved characters in TV. 

I totally understand the Sam girls (being a Sam girl is a valid, sensible life choice) and I love Sam a whole bunch, but Dean's really just a tad more fun imo and prettier 😅 not that it matters that much, I think, because like you said, they're a package deal and what creates the magic of the show is the two of them, together.

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

Can we talk about Castiel for a moment? It drives me fucking nuts that so many people reduce him down to just a love interest character. Like the amount of time it takes them to shoehorn him into a romantic thing with Dean causes them to lose sight of the full complexity of the character and it pisses me off. Cas is a masterwork of disappointment and frustration. He spends so much time trying to fix the shit his angelic brethren are doing and the entire time he is just so completely over it. It's perfection. Like, he comes into the show already done with all of this shit. He's pissed that he had to get involved but he's not the kind of being that shies away from responsibility. He was given an order and he followed it. Someone has to fix shit, and since no one else is stepping up, here he is. And while he comes to love Dean (and Sam) the profound bond that they share to begin with was that, for reasons Cas does not fully understand, he has been instructed to pull Dean out of Hell and then brought back from oblivion (more than once) to continue helping the Winchesters. I honestly believe that, due to the weird nature of angels and how they were created to follow God's orders without question, being basically assigned to Dean imprinted Cas on him. The imprinting becomes honest real affection over the course of the show, but it's not romantic, it's not sexual, it is simply love. Love is something that can and does exist independent from romance or sexual attraction and that is what Cas exudes. He's annoyed that he is there, he is tired of everyone's bullshit, but he loves the world his father created, he loves the humans that his father created, and he specifically loves the Winchester brothers, with a preference for Dean. And to expand on that for a moment, most of the heavenly host have a preference for Dean. Dean is their brother Michael's vessel, and I think that innate quality draws them to Dean like moths to a flame. It's not just Castiel, a lot of angels are smitten with the older Winchester and are disdainful towards the younger, that's those pesky story parallels at work. But throughout the show, Castiel deals with losing his conviction, losing his grace, losing his brethren over and over and over again as they are killed and fall and turn against him. He is a being that is not human (most of the time) and having people reduce him down to human roles is infuriating. I love Castiel and it makes me really angry that the insane need to redirect the underlying homoerotic tension in the show away from something deeply taboo, means that I avoid sharing much content with him in it. Cas is a full fucking character and deserves to be more than just a love interest. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

[eisforeidolon]

Hellers can claim that they've been queerbaited as much as they want, the fact is that it is their fault for continously listening to someone like Mooch even after the 'straight-coming-out' fiasco. It is obvious what this guy's aim was/is. He is attention and money seeking from a rather rabid fan group who can fill his needs.

Hellers also have absolutely no right to accuse the show of queerbaiting. Despite self-proclaiming themselves as 'master readers of queer text and subtext and coding', Hellers do not even know how queercoding subtext or text even work.

Dean drinking cucumber water in one scene or the so-called ''bi lighting'' or wearing ''bi colored flannels'' are not queer-coding. It's literally making stuff up your ass and calling it a day and tapping yourselves on the back for supposedly realizing the 'obvious queercoding and subtext'. These are the guys who claimed Dean dancing with a lamp was a proof that he was imagining dancing with Castiel because Castiel was supposed to be the lamp in that scene, so it was queercoding and a nod to Destiel (yeah buddy sure....). These are the guys who legit claimed and pointed to Dean's FBI jacket (with the collar covering the 'F') as "proof" that he's bisexual.

That's straight up baiting themselves. They're still doing the same thing regarding the prequel, trying to find things that are not there, deluding themselves and thinking the show is baiting them. That's just insane.

Agree completely. They want queercoding to mean "calling literally everything Dean does queer means it's totes true". No. That's not what queercoding means or how subtext works.

In their heads, finding super sneakret signals to Dean's REAL sexuality in his every action shows how totally intentional and undeniable it is! It's literally impossible for Dean to be straight with all of this proof that shows up every single second he's onscreen! Except in reality, what it actually shows? Is how obsessed they are that they're insisting literally everything is a signal of queerness and how little they care about actual representation because it all magically only counts when it's Dean. What he eats, what he drinks, what he wears, what he stands next to, how he makes eye contact, who he talks to, etc.? There is nothing they haven't tried to turn into a hint towards proving bi!Dean and D/C.

That's not about what the writers intend, nor even any kind of genuine unconscious social cues about queerness. That's entirely about their personal myopic obsession with trying to force what they want to happen in a fictional show into reality by insisting everything is about their ship because they say so.

They weren't queerbaited by anyone but themselves and Misha, and as you say, even that is pretty much on them because subtle he is not. There was literally nothing the show could do that hellers wouldn't see as proof of what they wanted to see anyway. They ignored the million times it was reiterated by all the showrunners that SPN was the story of Sam & Dean. Singer and J2 explicitly said D/C wasn't part of the canon story. Dean's orientation was clarified several times in his own words. Even having Castiel and Dean spend less screen time together was turned into batshit "negative space" meta where we could supposedly see how in lurve they were by how Castiel's presence was missing from scenes!

It is genuinely an unhealthy, unhinged obsession of their own creation, nothing more and nothing less.

[catnipster69]

Wincest Fic Recommendations Full List

Here are my faves, categorized from lightest to darkest. I hope to add to this full list over time.

J2 rec list here.

Lightest

Suave & Complicated by OldToadWoman

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4480040

Sam and Dean discover a useful, little, magical artifact. No one is forcing them to do anything. No one is going to die if they don't. They don't even feel a strange compulsion. But… it would be really helpful if they powered up the magical stone… and… all they have to do is kiss.

This is maximally delightful! It's funny, sexy, and reads like a better Supernatural episode, only with wincest. I found this to be practically perfect.

Comfortably Numb by bloodwrites @bloodwritesfic​

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4711565

You can't live so close together without occasionally getting a peek at each other's equipment, and Sam's big all over, but Dean's sure he doesn't have the kind of length he'd need to— "We are talking about the same thing, right? You're telling me you can..." Sam grins. "Fuck myself. Yeah."

This is a complete delight. And it just feels so in character.

Utopia by nigeltde @nigeltde-fic​

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11714535

Anyway, Dwight Yoakam can go fuck himself.

Basically, a room of requirement fic. I found this very sweet. Post season 12.

Leader of the Pack by @astolat​

https://archiveofourown.org/works/2224

Teaching old dogs new tricks.

It’s a shame that Astolat does not write Supernatural fics anymore, but more than a decade later, her fics still hold up. Small, delicious meals. Makes sense that she is such a good mainstream writer in real life, too. Set in mid season 3.

Bad Blood by @astolat​

https://archiveofourown.org/works/164477

Fuck me or I'm going to die isn't the world's best pickup line.

Good humor.

Green and Gamboge by @sevenfists

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25267

Sam first notices the weird dinging noise in Paducah, and by the time they hit Kansas City, it's a full-on clank and rattle, the car thumping rhythmically every time the engine turns over.

This is fucking adorable.

Light

Coast On Through by philalethia

https://philalethia.livejournal.com/196029.html

A post-first-time fic. With a lot of sex.

Insanely hot. It takes a while even after they’re fucking to realize that, yeah, they’re it for each other, that no one else can compare. I love hearing the boys’ voices so clearly. So many great exchanges. It just feels so real.

Hands That Held Your Hands by philalethia

https://philalethia.livejournal.com/217441.html

In which Dean gets sick and Sam takes care of him. Tiny spoiler for episode 404. Written while waiting in a doctor's office to make myself feel better about feeling awful.

This is adorable, really.

Over the Hills, Far Away by roxymissrose

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1407463

Somewhere in the middle of season seven, this world careens towards the left. Dean looks at Sam and decides enough is enough. They need to settle down for a while, take a breath.

I’m not a giant fan of curtain fics, but this is my favorite.

Taking the Fifth by @astolat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/164210

“Dean Winchester?" Sam said. "I'm Sam Moore. I'm your lawyer." (AU inspired by 2x07, The Usual Suspects)

It’s hard to pick the best of the best from astolat.

Punxsutawney by @astolat​

https://archiveofourown.org/works/164466

astolat thinks any plot worth doing is worth doing TWICE

Groundhog Day by @astolat​

https://archiveofourown.org/works/164413

astolat thinks any plot worth doing is worth doing TWICE three times. (especially if the show mostly does it for you.) spoilers for Mystery Spot (3x11)

Thought I’d group both of these groundhog day fics together. (I think she may even have another one out there).

Baby Blue by Edwardina

https://archiveofourown.org/works/35405101

Sam touches a cursed pacifier and is compelled to suck on it non-stop. At first, Dean thinks it's hilarious and Sam is humiliated, but the way Dean treats Sam is actually a turn-on for them both.

This is weird, but surprisingly engaging.

Follow The Jackalope by WhiskyBoys

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10136267

It was just a regular black dog hunt, or so Sam and Dean thought, yet somehow they ended up tracking a unicorn through the woods, and then Dean may or may not have spotted a jackalope. After that things really took a turn for the weird!

"A unicorn? A freaking unicorn, Sam?" Dean repeats for the fourth time in fewer minutes. He looks down at the arsenal of weapons in Baby's trunk, twitchy fingered and wild eyed. "How the hell are we supposed to kill a goddamn unicorn?"

We're not gonna kill it," Sam snaps, elbowing Dean sharply in the ribs when he picks up a flame thrower.

This is a hoot.

Two People, At Least One Orgasm by nigeltde @nigeltde-fic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22317730​

Under the ham balls and tears.

Laugh out loud.

In a safe behind a painting by glovered

https://archiveofourown.org/works/493710

Dean tells RoboSam that he'd have to be paid a large sum to sleep with him. Challenge accepted.

It’s not too often you get a soulless!Sam story that is so hopeful and humorous.

Gray

Heart Shaped Balloon by @winsive

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37139917

Sam and Dad are fighting. No surprise, but it's the weekend before Valentine's Day and Dean isn't missing out on the chance to bang a cheerleader just to console his bratty little brother. He does bring back a heart shaped balloon for him, though. It's not supposed to be cursed.

This whole premise is clever. Love the build-up.

the constant vow by deadlybride @zmediaoutlet

https://archiveofourown.org/works/40820367

With Crowley apparently dead and Sam's soul back in place, even though Eve is a worry and Castiel's fighting a heavenly war, Sam and Dean at last have some space to get back to what passes (for them) as a normal life. They've just finished up a pretty standard job and are killing time in snowy Wisconsin when Dean wakes up no longer looking like Dean. That's just the start of their problems.

I don’t usually like female Sam or Dean stories, but since Dean is not female all the time, I was able to get over my reluctance. Deadlybride is one of my fave authors, and she does not disappoint.

Strong Black Vine by shaenie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4413944

They are both pretty drunk when it finally happens. Not drunk enough to pretend they don't remember or even drunk enough to chalk it up to bad decision making. Just pure liquid courage drunk.

This is a really good case fic plus lots of kinky BDSM! I think the author, who isn't really "in the fandom," didn't get the voices quite right (a tad too much slang for Dean), and some scenes have "weighty" meaning that I didn't always get, but still really good.

Invisible Boy by dollylux

https://archiveofourown.org/series/129525

This is a story of adolescence. This is a love letter for the slow burn, for Led Zeppelin, for the 90s. This is the first of two sets of stories about how Sam and Dean didn’t fall in love. They never had to. It was always there, this desperation between them, like a real, breathing thing. When they came together, it was inevitable. As sure as continents colliding, as the phases of the moon and the life and death of stars. This isn’t a love story, but it’s a story of love.

You’ve probably already read this! But if not, hurry and do so. So good it feels like canon.

Phthonus by leonidaslion

https://archiveofourown.org/series/6437

There's only so much jealousy a guy can take, and Sam's reached his limit ... 

Whatever happened to leonidaslion?? One of life’s great mysteries. Even though this is unfinished, it’s totally worth reading for the hot, hot sex. The plot is the least of it.

with a cherry on top by dollylux

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6016192

Sam gives Dean a Valentine's gift that keeps on giving.

This is underage, consensual, and filthy.

Like Staring Into the Sun by @nyxocity

https://archiveofourown.org/works/367041

It’s not about the girls. The girls are just the excuse. It’s about them. Them and this unavoidable thing that’s growing between them.

Hot as hell. I guess I felt it was Gray because the tone is kind of dark and desperate.

Surrender by Coragyps

https://archiveofourown.org/works/585290

Sam Wesson, college drop-out and general nobody, is abducted from his home by a green-eyed stranger. Taken to the shadowy Facility, he is trained over time to embrace his inner Submissive and become the perfect slave. But is he making a mistake in trusting Dean to be his Master?

The writer truly embraces her premise, which is that there are people who are “natural submissives” who will end in suicide if they aren’t trained and matched with a master. Hey, it works!

Wrapped in Honey by emebalia

https://archiveofourown.org/works/3194219

Sam is a monster who wants to buy himself somebody to feed on. Lucky him, Dean's on sale.

Poor, broken Dean. Luckily good incubus Sam is there to save him. Too bad it involves locking him up and using him as a sex slave! A world with supernatural creatures, but Dean’s not a hunter? It’s so crazy it just might work. There are some spelling mistakes in this, and that usually drives me nuts. Sadly, there’s no “suggest” function to put forward corrections on AO3.

Riders on the Storm by zorrosuchil

https://archiveofourown.org/works/875765

I. Bottled up in a borrowed Sierra Nevada cabin while their father chases demonic omens, Sam and Dean have nothing to do but hunt chupacabras and mess around. It's not supposed to mean anything. When the weeks are over and Sam announces he's leaving for Stanford, everything including their relationship falls apart. II. After Jess's death, Dean is Sam's anchor in an ocean of grief, but soon Sam starts suspecting that he's holding too close, wanting too much. Meanwhile, Dean has repented of what happened that summer, but deep down neither can shake his less-than-brotherly feelings. III. On the trail of the Wild Hunt, during a last-ditch effort to save Dean from hell, the crackling tension between Sam and Dean finally comes to a head.

Just a good, angsty read.

Trinity by leonidaslion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/181748

This isn't what Dean meant to give Sam for his birthday...

Hot, as usual.

Come Home in the Car You Love by @sevenfists

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25264

It seems fucking stupid now—worse: naive—but Dean honest-to-God thought that everything would stop after he went to Hell. A big cosmic reset button. Like his death would settle the universe's score and Sam could make himself some kind of real life, one that didn't involve hitching his fate to Dean's inevitable demise.

Great mood, interactions, build-up. Classic.

Moderation Itself by @sevenfists

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363

"So just leave, then, if that's what you fuckin' want to do—" Dean said, and Sam slammed his hand down on the table and yelled, "Yeah, well maybe I will," and Dean said, "Fine," and Sam said, "You fucking asshole, I hope you rot in hell," and the next thing Dean knew, it was two days later and he was driving toward the Gulf, alone in the Impala for the first time in what felt like about ten million years.

Sometimes Dean needs time to process what he really needs.

Skin of the Beast by @alulaspeaks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14900721

Find Dean, find Jack, fix it. Sam's mission should be simple, but after a mysterious storm transforms ordinary people into hideous creatures, Sam finds himself struggling to hang onto his humanity and stay alive. Joined by an enormous wolf, Sam sets out across a new and dangerous landscape trying to balance the draw he feels to the wolf and his need to complete his mission. Find Dean, find Jack, fix it.

This has such an imaginative and poetic scenario. 

Dark

Roll the Bones by @lovetheirloves

https://archiveofourown.org/works/42052812

When other kids his age were experimenting with drugs and alcohol, Sam Winchester was experimenting with witchcraft.

This is why you’re not supposed to experiment with witchcraft.

Douglas County by @awabubbles

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1343818/chapters/2802031

Prison AU. Dean Winchester is a new correctional officer at Douglas County Youth Services where he meets Sam Wesson, a fifteen year old inmate who's been charged with arson and the death of his parents. Dean finds himself increasingly protective of the young inmate, but as his personal life gets more complicated, Dean has to find out exactly how far he'll go to keep Sam by his side.

Just perfection. The kids aren’t alright, but maybe it’s alright if they’re together. This is a raised apart, non-supernatural AU. But even if that’s not your thing, I think you can appreciate the way awabubbles adapted the general outlines of Supernatural to fit this gritty tale of a fucked up Dean who is trying to overcome his own traumas; and how he connects to a boy for reasons we readers know, but that Dean takes some time and luck to figure out. They way they find salvation in each other. It feels real and painful and sexy and hopeful.

The Light of Munin by leonidaslion

https://archiveofourown.org/works/180210

Beyond the Apocalypse, beyond the Rapture, beyond the reach of memory ... How long can even the strongest love survive?

This one is very literary, with a fascinating setting. Not the usual fare. It’s always a treat to find unusual things in this genre, as there is a tendency to tread the same well-worn paths.

Sammy's Little Boy by majesticduxk

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1064091

Dean is hit by a spell which turns his cock into a little boy one, tiny and soft and useless. He can't even get hard anymore. He hates it but his partner can't get enough of playing with Dean's little limp, bouncing cock and balls. After all, daddies can do what they want with their little boys. please note: this is NON CON and as such if this will disturb you please don't read. Dean does get some physical enjoyment out of it, but there is definitely no consent.

This is such a bizarre one... It's not realistic, why Sam is so, so bad, or why Dean is so helpless. I don't take it too seriously. It’s just...smut!

The Glamorous Life by @rivkat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5974

Dean's infected by an incubus. Complications ensue.

Poor Dean! The boys aren’t good at communicating, as usual.

Grit to Build a Pearl Around by @saltandbyrne

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12320718

Sam always helps his big brother out. Even when it hurts.

Underage. Dean's not a good guy in this. Twisted Sam/Dean.

remainder of two by @thatsakitkat

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1698800

Dean has a curse put on him that de-ages him and makes him desperate for Sam to fuck him.

The first time I read this, it ended on such a bleak note, that I got mad at it. But then I couldn't stop thinking about it. It took me awhile to find it again, and then I bookmarked it. It is bleak: but very well done, especially since it's mostly porn without plot.

Flying Weight by Flesh

https://archiveofourown.org/works/231283

Sam wakes after being soulless for three years to discover that Dean and his relationship with him have undergone some serious changes. Through traveling and hunting with Dean, Sam struggles to put his life back together after events he has only limited memory of. A season six wincest AU

I was kind of resistant to this story initially. It was just so hard to take. But on re-read, I could admire it better. Masterful.

Darkest

This is as dark as I go. There are darker out there (drug addiction and prostitution, I’m looking at you).

Suite!verse by leonidaslion

https://archiveofourown.org/series/6436

evilSam and Dean

This is a long, unfinished fic where Sam becomes a general of Hell and becomes evil. But his “love” and obsession with Dean remains, so he locks Dean in a hotel suite for years while he fights for Hell in the apocalypse and tries to get Dean to surrender. I couldn't stop reading it, but I was also yelling at it. She explains in the comments how it ends; it would have been bitter, bitter sweet.

Disturbia by leonidaslion

https://archiveofourown.org/series/7424

Not all of our scars are worn on the outside ...This is a VERY DARK FIC, and if you are sensitive to issues of consent or to the psychological repercussions of rape and other sexual trauma, please hit the back button now. There IS a happy ending, but it is at the other end of a very long, very dark tunnel. Please be sure you want to make the journey before clicking ahead.

Again, Dean really gets fucked up in this, and I'm not sure I like having this version of Dean in my head. Still, it's a gripping read. Read at your own risk. I mean, it ends basically happy? But Dean’s trauma can’t be wished away, and Sam has his own traumatic journey too. I guess one of the things I relate to in this is Sam’s intense, obsessive longing for Dean. Because I have that too.

Kink Corner

These are the fics I was afraid to post as being too outré; but hell, you’ve made it this far! Your kinks may not be my kinks, but if they are, you’re very welcome.

Little Creature You Unspun by Exaggerated_Specificity

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6359056

Prompt: "Some spell/curse/hand-wavy magic grants Dean his deepest, darkest desire: eight year old Sammy spread out naked and begging to get fucked."

John inadvertently brings home a cursed book that has eight year old Sam acting out Dean's wildest fantasies. Marked as non-con due to magically induced reasons for the sex happening. Don't read if this isn't your thing.

Well written! Really!

Doppelgänger (little bird sing) by Exaggerated_Specificity

https://archiveofourown.org/works/6358690

Prompt: "Soulless Sam sweet talks an underage girl/boy into giving up her/his cherry. As young as you want."

Soulless Sam has a little fun with one extremely young Jensen Ackles. Read the warnings. This is every bit as dirtybadwrong as it sounds.

I guess we can blame these on the anonymous prompts? I’m not sure what my excuse is for reading these.

warm by @hellhoundsprey

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37163134

Sam and Dean go a little further. (Sam is 8-ish, Dean is 12-ish.)

I only put this in Kink Corner because of the under-agedness. This age works as an A/B/O fic.

[bi-bard]

Milkshakes - Team Free Will Imagine (Supernatural)

Title: Milkshakes

Pairing: Team Free Will X Platonic!Fem!Reader (as put in the request)

Requested: @gabrielasilva1510

Word Count: 1,846 words

Warning(s): violence, death

Summary: [Early Season 11 (Before Episode 10)] Sam and Dean think that there's something that can be The Darkness. Castiel warns them but... who knows? Maybe God's ultimate weapon isn't as scary as it seems.

Author's Note: I used dodie for outfit inspiration because the outfit matched the vibe but change it if you want. I only used a female read because it's in the request and it helped with clarity because the whole imagine is in 3rd person (I do usually use they/them pronouns in my work). Finally, I thought the milkshake flavor sounded good, but you can change it in your mind if you want to.

Hey! I did a rewrite of the ending of Supernatural. It took a really long time to complete, so it would mean a lot to me if you check it out. Here’s a link! (it’s on my personal account)

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--Third Person P.O.V--

Sam was leaning over a lore book in the library. It was too early for him to be so focused on the book but he felt like he needed to. The Darkness being released was his fault, he needed to find a solution.

Dean walked in from the kitchen with a cup of coffee and was clearly still half-asleep. He sat across from his brother.

"What're you reading," Dean grumbled out in between sips of coffee.

"I found this book about the most powerful beings," Sam explained. "Most of them are just rumored to exist but I thought it'd give us a jumping-off point on where to find something to help us defeat Amara."

"Anything interesting," Dean asked.

"A Nephilim; kid of an angel and a human," Sam said. "There's no mention that they could kill someone as powerful as God. Then there's..."

Sam trailed off and went back through the book, hunting for a particular page he had read nearly an hour ago. He pointed to the page once he found it.

"This doesn't even have a name but it describes a creature created by God to be a weapon," Sam explained. "I was doing some snooping on some message boards when I first found out about it. There's a lot of religious nuts and self-proclaimed hunters who think this thing is gonna be the end of the world. They say it's a prophecy that can't be stopped."

"And you think hunting it down is a good idea," Dean asked.

"Listen, I don't think it's fair to think this thing wants to end the world," Sam replied. "I think it's the best choice we have right now."

"Alright, fine, where do we look," Dean asked.

The boys didn't have to look far before Castiel popped into the library. He asked where they had gotten on their path to defeat Amara. His eyes went wide when they explained what they wanted to do.

"Are you two insane," Castiel asked.

"Listen-"

"No, I know more about this than either of you," the angel stopped Dean's argument. "This creature could kill you both with a look and end the world with a flick of the wrist and you want to track it down?!"

"Isn't it worth trying," Sam asked.

"'Trying,'" Castiel was so unbelievable done with the idiotic decisions of the Winchesters at that point.

"If we don't try something, then Amara kills all of us anyways," Dean said. "We need something Cas. This could be the thing."

Castiel sighed, letting his head fall forward for a moment before looking back up at the boys.

"Fine," Castiel threw his hands up. "Do you know how to find this thing?"

"Looks like a spell," Sam turned the book so Castiel could look at the page. "We should have everything. It's strange no one's tried-"

"Succeeded," Castiel corrected. "People have probably tried if the spell is so simple."

"Okay, good, let's get the supplies and give it a shot," Dean clapped his hands and stood up.

In a matter of minutes, the boys and their angel were back around the table and ready to start the spell.

Castiel and Dean jumped when Sam grabbed a knife and nicked his hand.

"One of us needs to be bonded," Sam explained. "Like a human compass. It feels right that it's me."

He didn't wait for the other two to respond before he started reading the spell of the book. Castiel and Dean exchanged a look for a moment.

As he finished the spell, a purple flame shot up from the bowl for a second. Sam felt his arm tingling from the wound up. He shook it out, trying to understand what it was telling him.

States over, a young girl, a college student visiting home, is sitting in a booth at a small diner.

In between page turns, she sits up straight. Her eyes flash the same purple as the flame from the spell before she snaps out of the trance.

She looks around. Everything feels different. It's like the air had shifted around her. She furrowed her eyebrows... what the hell was that?

--time skip--

Dean pulled the impala up to the curb of the street. The three of them look at the nice house. White picket fence, two stories, a garden.

"Are you sure about this," Dean asked Sam. "This seems like a pretty normal house."

Sam nodded, "I can feel it. It's here."

"Alright, let's go," Dean replied.

The three of them got out of the car and made their way up the pathway. None of them knew what fight they were going to get once they opened that door. It could've been a deadly fight. They may not have even had a chance to fight.

Still, with one last silent check with the others, Dean lifted his hand and knocked on the door.

The last thing they expected was for a girl to open the door with a wide smile. She had a white dress on with an orange cardigan over the top.

"Hello," she said happily. "What can I help you with?"

"Sam," Dean looked at his brother. Sam just nodded. He could feel it in his gut. "What's your name?"

"(Y/n)," the girl replied. "And you are?"

"I'm Sam," the taller man answered. "This is Dean and Cas."

"Nice to meet you," she held a hand out.

Sam awkwardly accepted, shaking her hand. They both froze, eyes flashing purple before they both stepped back from each other.

"That was weird," (Y/n) mumbled, frowning at her hand. "What was that?"

The boys looked at each other but before they could speak, there was a crash from inside the house. The girl jumped.

"Who's that," Dean asked.

"I don't know," she replied. "My parents are gone. No one else is supposed to be here."

Sam and Dean grabbed their guns before all of them walked inside.

Before they could get any answers for themselves, an angel rounded the corner and tried to grab (Y/n), who ran behind the others as soon as she saw the angel.

She stumbled backward toward the wall in shock and fear. She covered her mouth as the more angels walked into her living, not that she knew that's who they were.

Sam, Dean, and Cas were getting thrown around.

"Stop," Sam yelled as they walked toward (Y/n).

"We need something to defeat the Darkness," one of the angels said. "This is our option. Thank you for leading us to her."

(Y/n) was shaking more as she listened. The Darkness? Why was she so important to them? To the boys or the others who had broken into her house?

"Come on, (Y/n)," one of the angels had a hand out to her. She shook her head and the angel chuckled. "Fine. Make this harder."

The others came running at her.

"No," she yelled, dropping to the ground, and covering herself with her arms.

A pulse of energy shot out. The angels that had broken in had burned in front of her.

Dean, Sam, and Cas looked at each other.

(Y/n) slowly looked up from where she was.

"Hey," Sam walked over, kneeling next to her. "You alright?"

"What was that," she asked, shaking. "Who are you? Who were they? What did I do?"

"Hey, hey," Sam touched the girl's shoulders. "It's alright. Hey... how about we go somewhere to calm down? How about some food, yeah? Is there a restaurant nearby or something?"

She nodded. Sam helped her stand up fully and led her to the impala. Dean and Cas sat in the front while Sam and (Y/n) took the backseat.

(Y/n) rambled about a small diner nearby, giving Dean quick directions before falling silent again.

The four of them took a booth in the farthest back corner. (Y/n) sat leaning against the wall, Sam next to her and Cas and Dean across from her.

"Umm... do you know what you want," Sam asked quietly, making (Y/n) aware of the waitress there.

She was an old friend, "You alright, (Y/n)?"

"Yeah," (Y/n) nodded. "I'm just a little tired. Umm... can I get a cherry vanilla milkshake?"

"That it for you, dear," the waitress checked. (Y/n) nodded with a grin, playing with the end of her cardigan's sleeves.

The waitress took the other three's orders before walking away.

"Who were those people," (Y/n) asked. "Why did they break into my house?"

"Because God made you a weapon," Cas said bluntly, making (Y/n)'s eyes go wide.

"A weapon?"

"He means," Dean jumped in, "you have powers that you don't know about. That's why you were able to get rid of those angels."

"Those were angels," she tried to keep her voice down. They all nodded. "I thought angels were supposed to be good?"

"They are supposed to follow orders," Cas corrected. "Not all of them are good."

She nodded, "Are you guys angels?"

"No, well, Sam and I aren't," Dean pointed between him and his brother. "Cas is."

"Oh," she muttered. "You're not-"

"I'm not gonna force you to go to heaven to defeat the Darkness," Cas promised.

"The Darkness," she said. "What's that? Why do I need to fight it?"

"The Darkness is... kind of our fault," Sam explained. "She's trying to create a new world in her image, which includes destroying this one."

"So, how'd you find me," she asked.

Before they could answer, the waitress came back, dropping off their food and drinks. (Y/n) leaned forward and took a sip of her milkshake and grinned to herself for a moment.

The boys were so confused. This was God's weapon?

"Well, Dean and I are hunters," Sam continued once (Y/n) back over to him. "We hunt monsters. Our grandpa was part of this group, the Men of Letters. They have a book in their collection that talks about you. There was a spell that led us to you."

She nodded but furrowed her eyebrows. Monsters? God? Hunters? After what had happened today, she struggled to deny all of it but was still hesitant to believe them?

"Well, if the Darkness knows I can defeat... her... won't she be looking for me too," (Y/n) asked.

"We can keep you safe," Dean promised.

"You're sure?"

"As sure as possible," he nodded.

(Y/n) looked down for a moment, "Okay. I'll go with you. I just... I need to get some stuff from my house and tell my parents that I'll be gone."

"You can't tell them where you're going or why," Dean said. "It'll put them in danger."

She bit her lip, "If it saves them in the long run, fine."

(Y/n) asked a lot more questions that day as they ate in the diner. They told her about monsters and the big bads they had faced. Monsters' weaknesses and abilities. Their other hunting buddies. People she could trust.

Sam, Dean, and Cas trusted her immediately. They felt like they needed to. Like she was a person to rely on.

And there- over a cherry vanilla milkshake- (Y/n) watched her entire life change forever.

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[jensenismywholelife]

I promise

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: Fluff, kinda sorta five second leading to smut, arguing

Summary: You and Dean are in a relationship but you have to hide it from Sam because you are younger than Dean by 5 years and Sam doesn’t like that.

You were in your room reading a book because you couldn’t fall asleep. You looked over at the time to see it was past 12:00. You let out a sigh and close your book. “I should probably go to bed” You mumbled to yourself. You set the book down on your nightstand and slid underneath the covers of your warm and somewhat soft bed. A few moments later after trying to fall asleep you heard your bedroom door creek open, but it didn’t worry you one bit, you were already aware of who it was making their way to you. Dean Winchester.

You usually never snuggled or slept together when Sam was there, if he were to find out you two are together he’d go insane. You felt the bed sink beside you and two large arms wrapped around your waist from behind. “I missed you” Dean whispered softly into your ear as he kissed your cheek.

“I missed you too De..but you can’t do this, not right now. Sam is here and if he catches us we’re in trouble” You giggled and turned around in his arms then wrapped your arms around his neck.

“So what, Sam can catch us all he wants. I’m a grown ass adult, same as you and we can do adult things. The only reason he doesn’t want me to be with you is because he doesn’t wanna lose you.” He said softly and kissed your head.

“What do you mean he doesn’t wanna lose me?” You asked and scratched the back of his head. He sighed and looked down at you “Sam says you’re like a sister to him, and if we start dating he thinks i’ll mess it up and cause you to leave and he doesn’t want you out on your own and stuff cause you’re young.” Dean told you.

She sighed “If something happened i wouldn’t leave, I’d talk to you and figure it out like we always do. I mean..I’m really not that young, we’re only 5 years apart. I’m 19 and your 24, it’s really not that bad and nothing will go wrong if we just communicate.” You said softly.

“Yeah..anyway, are you wearing my shirt?” He smirked softly and chuckled.

“Yes, it’s very comfy, so I’ll be stealing them from now on” You smiled.

“Hey, I’m not complaining” He laughed and kissed her cheek.

“Trust me, i know” You chuckled.

“(Y/n)..i love you so damn much” Dean said and pecked your lips.

“I love you too De” You said and pulled him in for a deeper kiss. He began to make out with you and he pulled you onto his lap. He rested his hands on your thighs and moaned into the kiss. He groaned once you began to roll your hips against his growing hard on. He slid his hands up your shirt and was about to take it off until someone interrupted.

Sam had busted into your room after hearing the loud moaning coming from Deans mouth. “What the hell!” Sam yelled. You quickly got off of Dean and covered yourself since you were only in your panties and one of Dean’s t shirts. 

“Hey, Sam calm down” Dean said, getting up from the bed trying to fix himself. “Calm down?!”“ Sam yelled. “It’s 1 in the damn morning! Is this what you do all the time Dean? Sneak into (Y/n)’s room to have sex with her? What the hell is wrong with you?”

“Sam what are you even talking about man?” Dean sighed. “Dean, (Y/n) isn’t just some little sex toy! And you cant just use her to fulfill your need for fucking sex! I’m not letting you mess up the only goof thing we have in our lives right now Dean.” Sam yelled.

“Damnit Sam, I’m not using her to fulfill my god damn needs! We’re in a relationship and we’re both adults meaning we’re free to do whatever the hell we please. I’m not using her Sam, i love her man, is it that damn hard to tell!” Dean shouted. 

“No you don’t, just stop lying to her Dean!” Sam yelled. He was really beginning to piss you off, how in the hell is he gonna tell Dean his own feelings towards you. “I do Sam. I have loved her since the day i laid eyes on her. I have NEVER been more in love man and you’re not gonna take this away from me!” Dean said. 

“No man, you’re gonna ruin everything we fought for! You’re gonna break her heart and she’s gonna leave because that’s what you do Dean! You play games and that isn’t fair to her.” Sam shouted. 

“I’m not gonna ruin anything Sam, you’re the one throwing a bitch fit! I’ll be with her if i wanna be. You can’t break this up cause you feel like it, why’re you so damn jealous? Huh? You got the hot’s for (Y/n), but mad she chose me instead?” He chuckled angrily and shoved him.

“I’m not jealous you bastard!” He yelled and shoved him back. You had enough “Guys..GUYS! Knock it the hell off!” You yelled after seeing Dean about to throw a punch. They both looked over at you and you made a face “You guys are acting like 2 year olds! Can you just grow the hell up!” You shouted ad sighed.

“Hard to ‘grow up’ when this asshole is trying to take away the only thing that makes me fucking happy” Dean growled. You went to Dean and pushed him out of the room “You need to cool down, so go take a walk” You said and shook your head. “Are you serious right now?” Dean said and all you did was nod. You walked back into your bedroom and looked at Sam, you couldn’t hold back and you smacked him. 

“Ow! what the hell was that for?” Sam sighed, holding his cheek. “Look, i get it. You wanna protect me, that’s what this is, but Sam...you have no right to barge in my room and do this. I love Dean ad no matter what you may think, he loves me too. I’m gonna be 20 years old soon and I’m an adult Sam which means i can take care of myself. If i wanna be with Dean then I’m gonna be with Dean, if something happens then that’s on me, but I’ve never been so happy before in my life” You sighed. 

“Sam you need to understand that he can do whatever he wants and so can i. This is our life, so we can be together and you have no say in it.” You said “Now..get out of my room.

***

It’s been a hard 2 weeks because Sam has been giving you and Dean issued since the day he found out you two were together. You have tried to ignore him the best you could, but sometimes it would just get out of hand and you’d go off on him. Most of the time Dean was pulling you away because you were gonna start throwing punches. Yesterday and today when you woke up Sam was nowhere to be found which means he finally left the bunker to go do something. 

You were in the library reading a book when you heard footsteps coming your way. You looked up and saw Dean, you shot him a smile then looked back down at your book. “Hey babe, have you seen Sam?” Dean asked and rested his hand on your back. “Nope and i have no idea where he is and frankly i don’t give a shit.” You said ad closed your book then got up to walk away. Dean grabbed your arm before you could walk away “Hey, what’s wrong.” He said softly.

“Nothing Dean, i’m fine alright?” You said and once you tried pulling away he just pulled you right back, knowing you were lying “I’m gonna ask again. What’s wrong.” He said and looked at you. He lifted your chin with his finger “Tell me (Y/n).” He said softly.

You sighed and looked at him “It’s Sam. He’s pissing me off Dean and i just..i don’t get it. He’s gonna be the one to mess up, he’ll be the reason i leave!“ You teared up. “I’m just so scared he’s gonna go to far and..y-you’ll break up with me. I can’t lose you Dean..you’re all i got left.”

He sighed and rested his hands on your cheeks “(Y/n) listen to me, there isn’t anything Sam can say or do that’ll make me leave you. Ever. I haven’t been this happy in..ever really, he won’t take that away from me, or us. I’m gonna be your boyfriend, i’m gonna be here for you everyday no matter what happens and we’re gonna grow old together just like we’ve always talked about.” He hugged you tightly and kissed your head.

“Promise?” You sniffled softly and held onto him to scared to let go. You felt him rub your back and and bury his face into your neck “I promise sweetheart.”

“Guys..” Sam said from behind you. You turned around, not wanting to deal with his crap you growled “What Sam, What!” He looked down at his hands and sighed softly “I just wanted to say that i’m sorry, for everything.” He started to say.

“I’m sorry for giving you crap about being together, i’m sorry i didn’t accept it and bitched all the time. I just..i don’t want this to get messed up. We’re a family..and it scares the crap out of me that we could fall apart one day. I wanted to protect you (Y/n)…i didn’t want you to get hurt and i know i had no right to act the way i did. I want you both to be happy and if that means you guys are together then okay, i’m happy for you. I really hope you can both forgive me for the way i acted.”

You sighed and walked up to Sam. You wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your head on his chest. You pulled away and smiled at him then Dean gave him a hug too and patted his back. “So..does this mean i’m forgiven?” Sam asked softly and received a nod from both you and Dean. Sam smiled and brought you both in for another hug “I love you guys.”

“We love you too, but i swear to god Sam Winchester if you ever do something like that again, i won’t be leaving i’ll be kicking your ass.” You said, earning a laugh from the brothers. You were happy you were all back to normal again.