#we need ro revive this fandom please please please please

[amelka-s100]

Penn Zero: Part-time Hero fanart in 2024?? No way??

[katreal-fic]

Day 5 — for #fictober 10/05/19

Prompt: “I might just kiss you.”

Fandom: Homestuck

Warnings: Cursing, 2nd Person POV

Part of a series. Please start from the beginning!

Characters: Dirk Strider & Roxy Lalonde 

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x-x-x

Dirk > Get Over It

You don’t get over it. But, you’ve had years of the intrusions to learn to live with it. You pick yourself after time and the sea breeze allow the most persistent of the whispers to fade back into your brain. You don’t know how to stop it. You don’t think you can. Maybe it’s just in the universes’ cards that you’ll never be able to escape the insufferable and unignorable presence of your selves. Splintered, doomed, it’s a big old party full of the one person you hate the most. 

You’re on the computer this time, digging into some of the less physical aspects of your work for CrockerCorp. Coding wasn’t your favorite thing, but aside from Roxy and ARq, you were probably one of the better around, and as far as you know, neither of them were helping Jane out on a consulting basis. You ignore the humming in the back of your mind, the phantom disconnect bubbling out from some deep inner core that leaves you watching your hands performing their tasks and yet--not under your control at all. An observer. Weightless, formless, trapped in a world of numbers and words with only a single view to the world beyond.

Only that isn’t right, you could take the stairs to the roof and go wherever the fuck you wanted to. Maybe you’re trapped, but it’s your own damn choice.

That’s the most unnerving of the loose threads, you think, because you know exactly who is leaking through there and at least he has more of a right to inflict this shit on you than any of the others. 

It keeps leaking. Mixing. You wonder if one day you’ll stop noticing and cataloging and just accept it all as your lot in life. Maybe even use it.

You send off the finished product--even with clumsy as hell organic interfacing tools, you work more efficiently at this sort of task when your auto-responder rises to the surface--and scroll through your inbox for another one. 

One stands out from amongst the mixture of spam emails that somehow keep getting around your ever more sophisticated filter (you suspect ARquiusprite to be behind it, but have no proof) and the more mundane business communication you maintain with CrockerCorp’s research division. You used to go straight through Jane but...as the company expanded it became more efficient to just work directly with the developers since Jane wasn’t very plugged in to that particular aspect for the business. It unnerves you a little, thinking of the small bakery she opened to take back her family name from the Batterwitch, only for the business to balloon into such a multi-industry giant, filling many vital services in this world and only rivaled in scale by Jake’s revival of SkaiaNet. 

But you suppose that’s the responsibility of a god, taking the world in hand and guiding it. Benevolent patrons, looking down from on high, shaping the course of history and society into the best form it could be. Someone’s got to recreate the internet (the world’d better thank you and Roxy and ARquiusprite for that) and you weren’t willing to wait around for it to happen organically. Shit needed to get done, and sometimes, the eight of you were the ones who needed to do it. 

The rogue email stands out with it’s bright pink text and typo filled subject line. Why would Roxy send you an email? Why didn’t she just hit you up on Pesterchum or--

A thought and you have the window open in the corner of your display, fighting, and failing to resist the urge to press your palms into your face when you notice the little red dot next to Do Not Disturb. A little further digging and you turn up some unread notifications that never got sent due to the privacy settings.

Of fucking course. Of course you’d automatically flip it to DND when in one of your spirals and not even realize it. You remedy that mistake, but instead of scrolling back through Roxy’s messages--there’s also a meme sent your way from Dave, accompanied by an ironic selfie of him and Karkat from, Jesus Christ that was a month ago--you turn back to the email in your inbox. This would be the newest one, given the time stamp, which was only an hour ago.

There’s a picture attached, a night shot of New City, near where Roxy and Calliope set up. Roxy’s got the whole selfie thing going, smiling and radiant for the camera, pink eyes sparkling with mischief as she framed the background shot just perfectly.

There’s an orange and green streak across the cityscape, the tall buildings in the distant background, their lit windows shining like a million stars from across the bay. Calliope has her green-suited arms wrapped tightly around their neck, highlighted by feathered wings obviously hitting the end of their orange end of the gradient and starting down the green path. Despite the obvious speed (you can tell from the way Davepeta’s currently green coat is caught mid-whip behind them) the picture is perfectly clear and focused, as if you are looking through a window into an image frozen in time. 

Damn she’s good.

wishin’ u were here di-stri. i heard u got out a little. maybe u shuld do it again. liek maybe come out my way next tiem?? ;) we have fun.

You chew on the inside of your lip, studying the picture. The frozen mixture of delight and mild terror on Calliope’s face. The mischief on Roxy’s. You can’t see Davepeta’s even if you zoom in, what with the ever present glow beneath their skin and the glasses currently matching the same orange of their wings. You bet they are having a blast though. How did they manage to talk Calliope into that? You didn’t talk to the cherub much on your own, but you were under the impression she was a skittish thing.

Your hand moves on its own, triggering the sylladex withdrawal on reflex. The feather hums quietly in your hand. It’s fading. The colors duller. Moving slower. But it’s there and it’s a comfort and…

Maybe you should.

You open Pesterchum back up.

TT begins pestering TG

TT: Sorry Ro-Lal, I was buried in work. TT: If you’re free I could probably head out your way tomorrow. I’m at a lull in my projects.

You aren’t, really, but as you’ve been so clearly reminded by the peanut gallery, none of this shit actually matters. And…

You miss Roxy. If you turn down this invitation…

Well, they already stopped coming once, and you let them. 

You don’t expect an answer immediately; the carapacian kingdom was a few timezones ahead of your ocean bound kingdom. It’s well into dinner time and you bet she’s a little busy with her guests and being the most kickass hostess of all time. 

You barely pull up another project and start studying the design specifications before the window on your shades spring open, searing excited bright pink across your eyeballs.

TG: omg dirk really??? this is going to be awesome!!! Callie and i promised to take ARq and peta out for more shenanignss but oh my gawd thisll be soo much fun! Itll be liek old times! Ull have to keep me updatedf on ur ETA TG: gawd i havent seen you in so long i might just kiss u TG: plonk a big one rite smack dab on each cheek TT: Don’t make me reconsider now, Rox. TT: You know how I feel about smooches, advanced warning or not these cheeks are off limits without applying for a permit. It’s private real estate. TG: nu’uh buster no take backsies!!! U accepted the invitation u gotta put up with the potential of that ill be so overcome with joy at seeing ur face that there’ll be a shower of friendly smooches TG: see u tomorrow <3 TT: Tomorrow, it is Roxy.

You talk a bit more, but Roxy soon excuses herself to do the hosting thing, and you’re left wondering what you’d gotten yourself into.

You’d forgotten Davepeta was traveling with ARquius.

Trapped. Trapped and it’s your own damn fault.

There’s no way you’ll let Roxy down after all that though.

You’ll just have to deal with it when you get there.

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[yakashi-lover]

Can we talk about Kakashi for a second please?

I see the argument a lot about whom in Naruto had that saddest life and the votes often sway between Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke… But I want to talk about Kakashi and why I believe he had the saddest life in the series. Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke may have had terrible childhoods but Kakashi’s overall life was terrible.

Here’s a rundown:

- He lost his Mother probably before he could speak.

- He grew up with just his Father and admired the hell out of him.

- His Father chose death over him and left him alone in the world at the age of 5.

- He hides his face. The assumption being he wants to be taken seriously at such a young age and now he does not want people to be reminded of his Father when they look at him.

- Instead of playing with his friends after the Academy he was forced to fish for his dinner and cook for himself.

- He spent his afternoons and weekends cleaning his huge empty house.

- He spent years saying hello and goodbye to no one because he was lonely and couldn’t accept how alone he felt.

- He slept in his kitchen. My assumption being because he felt too alone in his bedroom. It reminded him of a life he did not have anymore. A childhood.

- He was rejected by the adults of the village and forced to be teamed with people beneath him as no one wanted to work with him. How lonely.

- All he knew was what happened to his Father and what had caused it. Of course he was going to be a stickler for the rules after that incident.

- Being a stickler for the rules caused him to make a decision that cost him one of his only friends. This decision quite literally haunts him for the rest of his life.

- After vowing to protect Rin she decides to commit suicide by running in to his charged Chidori. This causes him to have PTSD and nightmares long in to his adulthood.

- He begins reading “how a Shinobi should die” a nod towards the fact that Kakashi himself is thinking of committing suicide. After all what does he have to live for?

- He withdraws completely from any attention his classmates give him. He despises himself and does not believe he is worthy of affection of any kind.

- He begins to put up walls and keep people at arm’s length. If he doesn’t love anyone, he can’t be sad when they die.

- His Sensei, the one precious person he has left decides that to mend his broken heart he will be assigned to the ANBU.

- Kakashi’s only purpose in life at this point is to work for the Village. He lives for the mission but Minato assigns him to guard Kushina. This no doubt gives Kakashi lots of time to think and dwell on his past mistakes.

- Minato is killed and Kakashi finally loses his last precious person. He withdraws in to himself once again. Continuing to have nightmares and flashbacks without the emotional support he needs to get through them.

- Kakashi makes another friend, Tenzo. Tenzo is then assigned to kill Kakashi and take his Sharingan. Luckily for Kakashi this works out alright in the end and they remain friendly.

- Kakashi becomes the Captain of team Ro and begins to relax a little. He even goes so far as to tell Itachi Uchiha that he is there for him if he needs to talk.

- Itachi Uchiha betrays Konoha, killing his entire Clan and defecting from the Leaf.

- Kakashi puts his walls back up, annoyed at himself for letting them down for such a vile human.

- Fast forward to Kakashi being forcefully pulled out of the ANBU and taken away from everything he has known for the last 12ish years.

- He is forced to teach children and he feels as though his ANBU subordinates are laughing at him. “The Genin Babysitter.”

- He enforces strict rules for the Genin passing his test. These rules have come from Kakashi once again taking a bad life experience and making it a lesson. This time it works for him.

- He rejects several teams for not understanding his criteria. This causes the Village to gossip about him. He earns the reputation of being a hard-ass.

- When he eventually does pass a team he does not think much of them. He sees his old team in them and quietly vows to not repeat the past.

- We see Kakashi soften slightly as he teaches these children. He learns things about himself and actually starts to enjoy life a little bit for the first time probably since his Father passed.

- Kakashi is trapped inside Itachi’s Tsukuyomi and physically tortured for 3 days straight. When he is woken up/heeled by Tsunade instead of being asked if he is alright, he is mocked by her for not being smarter.

- Kakashi tries his hardest to prevent Sasuke from leaving the Village but is called away for an important mission. Something he cannot help or refuse.

- He is blamed for Sasuke leaving, most heavily by himself.

- His last 2 students then proceed to leave him as well to be trained by people more superior to him.

- He feels overwhelming responsibly for Sasuke’s defection and he feels guilt that he did not give Naruto and Sakura the attention they deserved.

- The Village expected too much of this emotionally stunted ex-ANBU. He had no experience with children and frankly, he didn’t want it. He was forced in to his roll and then ridiculed for his inevitable failure.

- This goes for the fandom as well. Kakashi did the best he could for Sakura considering his circumstances. He focused on Sasuke because he was desperately trying to prevent him from becoming the adult Kakashi already was. He knew that someone else was a better fit for Sakura and he was probably actually happy when Tsunade took over her training because he had no idea what to teach her himself. This does not mean that he didn’t feel guilt though for not trying harder. He is always harder on himself than anyone else ever could be.

- Fast forward to Shippuden. Kakashi is wounded on their first mission back and forced to stay in the hospital as his team is led by his Kohai. In his eyes, Yamato is taking his place.

- He can no longer train Naruto by himself and if forced to enlist Yamato’s help. He feels weak.

- Kakashi is killed in battle. He died honourably and will not doubt have his name engraved on the stone next to his friend’s.

- He manages to speak with his Father, telling him he forgives him for what he has done. My take on this interaction is that as Kakashi himself has considered suicide in the past he feels he finally understands his Father’s pain and why he did what he did.

- He is revived and wakes up once again in the hellhole he calls earth.

- He finds out after Itachi is killed what really happened with him and is not allowed to react or talk about it. He no doubt feels even more guilt for not realising what was happening and being there for his friend.

- Fast forward to the war when it turns out that the person Kakashi had been mourning for roughly a decade was not actually dead. He stands up in front of the entire Shinobi population and tells them that this war is essentially Kakashi’s fault for killing Rin. Something he did not mean to do and had no control over. Something he had been completely destroyed by since the second it happened.

-  He manages to reconcile with Obito and then has to watch him die once again, bringing back all that pain tenfold.

-  After the war is over he is then forced in to a position he did not want. The Hokage. He could not refuse such an honour, but we all know he did not want the job.

- Kakashi, a man that lives for the mission forced to sit behind a desk and do paperwork for the rest of his young life. By this point he has grown enough that he might actually consider letting someone behind his walls. A time of peace, where he might finally have the time and freedom to find himself a partner. But he spends it behind a desk and remains single until well in to his forties (perhaps until he dies). We will never know.

Did I forget any-fucking-thing?? 

Yes Naruto and Gaara had horrible childhoods. They were feared, hated, lonely and scared. But ultimately their lives all worked out for them. They grew up to become the village hero, married with Children. The Kazekage with a loving family, soon to be married. (I think?)

Sasuke is a different story and I will not go in to that on this post. But he chose his options and he is now lying in the bed he made. Regardless of how he went about it, he still has a devoted wife and child to come home to if he wants. While Kakashi is still alone to this day, working in a job he did not want for the sake of the Village. That is and always will be his life’s purpose regardless of how he feels internally.