#we need -literal- toxic codependency

[lady-in-the-lair]

Dark animated The Hunger (1996) horror-romance movie adaptation when

[crimeronan]

eternally fond of writing princess luz and hunter's relationship because it's mostly just hunter going "honestly i'm really lucky. most people never find someone they want to kill and die for forever at any given moment. i don't know why i'd ever get upset about being so loyal to you that i will unquestioningly let you kill me to death" while luz is like [actively crying with gratitude] "you are so fucking crazy. stop being nice to me."

[fridayiminlovemp3]

how to make friends in ur 20s no borax no glue

[quietwingsinthesky]

like not to turn into a rhack blog for a minute (holy shit this game came out in 2014, does anyone even still ship these two) but. Extremely gay for a guy to try and take over your body, trap you in the crashing space station you’ve sentenced him to die in, insert himself back into your skull just for a chance to choke you out even if it means killing himself in the process, and then get on his knees begging you not to kill him again.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

tired of being called boring cuz i hate toxic ships </33 im sorry i get triggered easily by stuff like that brah, the most toxic my ships r allowed to get before i get triggered is a lil possessiveness and a hint of unhealthy codependency 🤭 beyond that, i literally get sick to my stomach lmao..

do what u want but anyone whose never been abused before does NOT get the right to call ME boring for not liking abusive ships..

[arolesbianism]

I should rly get around to designing the Jackies and Olivias from my swap aus now that I have ideas for how to differentiate them for their non swapped counterparts, but at the same time the eternal dread of having to commit to either keeping or changing the gravitas uniform for the swap aus hangs over me with ever increasing pressure, so maybe I can just only draw headshots of them and commit to that til the end of time instead

[autisticshadowthehedgehog]

"Why Would You Bother With Me?" - An Analysis of Kitsunami, 09/07/2024

tw: major discussions of abuse, the cycle of abuse, re-traumatizing situations, toxic and abusive relationships (non-romantic)

so like when I first read this panel my reaction was just to joke with Cori that this is a "get out of my school" moment (iykyk) but I've been thinking about it a lot recently because I... couldn't remember any specific beef Kit had with Tails?

Last we saw of them interacting one-on-one, Tails was talking Kit down from fighting, and Kit's beef with the squad later was more with Sonic than him. Tails didn't take down Surge in #56 or even affect the fight in any way, and Sonic was the one who told Kit that Surge was dead beforehand. At least that I could remember, so I went back to those comics. Indeed, in #56 he shows no animosity towards Tails specifically, nor when he talks to Surge in #55.

Then I went back to #54.

See, he does seem to blame Sonic entirely for the Surge death fakeout, and he thinks that Sonic is literally trying to kill her when he walks in. But he does have one (1) reaction to Tails, right at the end of the interaction.

In the previous issue, after Sonic and Tails saved his life, Kit immediately switched on his subservient personality and was desperate for any kind of validation from the hedgehog. We only see it for a few panels before he is told about Surge and sinks into a depressive state, but it's made very obvious.

And when he leaves to help?

Kit's conditioning under Starline means that he is excessively codependent on Surge– and if Surge isn't around, on anyone who is nice to him. The hypnotic repetition shown to us was "You live to support Surge. You'll do anything for her." Kit's sole purpose in life is to be a Support party member.

Kit's conditioning was to be the new Tails.

Starline wanted Surge and Kit to replace Sonic and Tails– that much was obvious from the get-go. But what was also obvious was his fundamental misunderstanding of Sonic and Tails's dynamic and how that negatively impacts Surge and Kit's relationship.

Starline completely misses the strong sibling bond that Sonic and Tails have. To him, Tails is just there to support Sonic, to provide the brains and tech that Sonic lacks, and so Kit needs to be there to support Surge in the same way. He sees it only as a business partnership, and not a mutual relationship built on trust, love, and shared experiences. Starline only saw other people as tools, so obviously he projected that onto Surge and Kit, hoping that they would immediately take up the closeness that Sonic and Tails did because, well, they served the same purpose to each other, right?

Except Surge and Kit don't have that relationship. These two children were forced into the same proximity and made to work together. They're coworkers at best, being told to act like a family.

Obviously their dynamic is super toxic, with Surge clearly holding a lot of power over Kit, but it's also clear that this isn't because Surge wants to beat on the kid. She was made to be Sonic, and so she has his arrogance (and possibly Shadow's, considering IS1 showed his image when Starline was talking about stealing abilities), but, as Boom!Sonic says, "Without any of the awesomeness to back it up." Okay, wrong, she's plenty awesome, the correct phrase is "Without the experience" and, most importantly, "without the altruism that makes Sonic Sonic." Surge wasn't programmed to like the people she saves, because that would conflict with Starline's goal to take over the world. So she's only made to be competitive and to want to best Sonic, anyone inbetween them be damned. This clashes with Kit's programming to not only be liked, but to be liked by Surge. Surge was also programmed to believe fully in herself in order to enhance the arrogant trait, and Kit was made to give her the help that she doesn't want.

To Surge, Kit represents everything holding her back. And she's not built to view him as a person, because Starline doesn't view him or her as people. Obviously this doesn't absolve her of her treatment of him, and later issues showing her getting more and more aware as she becomes more social is definitely going to impact the way she views him– or, if it doesn't make her reconsider Kit's personhood, it'll serve to make her more antagonistic for the viewer.

But the point is, Sonic trusts Tails because he knows and respects him as a person. It isn't just because Tails can help him, but because he knows Tails will. Surge, at this point in the comic, not only doesn't view Kit as a friend, she doesn't even care what he thinks or feels.

And despite the brainwashing, I don't think Kit is oblivious to this. He knows how bad their situation is, but he is so conditioned to accept it that he can't escape it whatsoever. In both fights with Tails, Tails talks him down easily because Kit doesn't want to hurt anyone. Kit only reacts violently when Surge is brought up, because he's meant to do anything she wants.

Like he said to Belle, he was made for Surge. And what he says directly after– "Sonic can use me, too." Kit doesn't even view himself as a person, only a tool– that's how far Starline's brainwashing went. It's clearly even affecting Surge, who realized in the latest issue, #72, how fast she and Kit fell into their abusive patterns again once Clutch took over– they were conditioned to be tools. Clutch claimed to want to help them, but really he was just using them for his own ends, just like Starline. So they went back to the familiar.

And speaking of familiar– pain is familiar to Kit, specifically pain in service to others. In his breakdown in #50, he says that Starline made him happy he'd been hurt. And in Imposter Syndrome #3 and #4, we see that him and Surge hate Starline and want to usurp him... but also are still trapped in the patterns he implanted in them. Surge still wants to kill Sonic and outperform everyone else. Kit still can't do anything but what she wants, to the point he becomes near catatonic when he believes she's dead.

Another pattern Kit is still trapped in is the idea that he has to be okay with his own suffering.

The only sense of home or family Surge and Kit have is in each other, but they fundamentally can't work together, at least as they are currently. Kit is expected to take Surge's anger, and Surge isn't expected to treat him like his own person.

And this, I think, is Kit's problem with Tails.

He was made to be Tails, and he knows this, but he can never have what Tails has. He can never live up to Tails and do what Tails can do, despite that being his entire life's purpose.

He doesn't hate Tails because he was programmed to– as he says to Surge, he only wants to destroy Sonic because she wants to. When he first encounters Tails, he refers to him as his target- a simple, unemotional term. He doesn't have the deep ingrained hatred for him that Surge does for Sonic.

Instead, he hates Tails because of what he sees in him. He sees Sonic and Tails interact, he sees how much Sonic trusts and relies on Tails, and he sees how he also loves and respects him. He sees how Tails has his own motivations and opinions, and he's experienced Tails's genuine compassion that was in part fostered by the hedgehog that raised him. In turn, Tails is loyal to Sonic, but not because he has to be– because he, in turn, loves Sonic and wants to be with him.

Kit only wants to be with Surge because he was forced to. Starline wanted to use Surge and Kit to stop Sonic and Eggman's cycle, but he made a whole new one instead. Kit is trapped in a cycle of pain, knows he's trapped in it, and is helpless to escape it.

Tails isn't, and Kit sees that in Tails. Subconsciously, he sees Tails and only sees how he fails to live up to his life's mission, and how he'll never have what Tails has.

After all, why would anyone bother with him? They already have Tails.

Is he a target? I like it here now.

[fate-of-the-envious]

How is canon Annabeth abusive?

You want a list?

Alright!

1. She constantly hits Percy. Kicking him in the shins, elbowing him in the ribs, punching him in the gut. Not to mention the judo flip scene. Also, this is never said to be done playfully whatsoever. And it's done constantly in EVERY book.

2. She always belittles and calls him stupid. Like his plans never work. Ha, they work more than hers! Also, the parallels of her calling him Seaweed Brain, when Gabe called him Brain Boy! Like how would you feel if you have a nickname constantly degrading your worst insecurities?! All the damn time! Not to mention Thalia, who Percy was the first person who helped her after she stopped being a tree, after spending the school year with Annabeth started calling Percy Kelp Head and viewing him as dumb. Annabeth who ignored Percy all this year, and was overall just selfish and mean when they met again.

3. Annabeth is so possessive of Percy. Even before they are dating (which doesn't make it any better when they are), Annabeth doesn't let Percy be friends with Rachel. Trying to drive a wedge between the two. And Percy, literally only has Grover and Annabeth for friends. He is so alone, he needs more friends! Oh, and then with Jason she interrupts the two of them chatting and trying to get along. Also, just how she doesn't like that Percy seems to like Camp Jupiter, like he can't seem to have his own differing plans from her.

4. Tartarus. Everything about that was so bad. Like in Tartarus, whom Percy fell down to FOR HER, Annabeth brings up Rachel because in her thoughts, she needs to keep her boyfriend on his toes. Like bitch! Then, we get to how she thinks Percy is so manipulative when he talks his way to get Bob to kill his brother. Like that isn't Annabeth's number 1 tactic. She's so fucking judgemental!

And then the scene with Akhlys in Tartarus. Where yes, Percy is being scary torturing this goddess who tried to poison them to death. But she just tried to kill them! He's saving their lives! And then, Annabeth makes Percy promise her to never use those powers again, because "Somethings aren't meant to be controlled." Like do you know how useful poison-bending could be to save lives? What difference does this make from using a sword to kill monsters when all of them are trying to kill and/or eat Demigods! Not to mention, if someone is poisoned, Percy could help heal them!

Next, because of how horrible Annabeth made Percy feel for using these powers he attempts suicide. After he gets out and faces Polybotes, who controls poison, he doesn't even try to save himself and says to Jason that he deserves to die by poison for what he did! He tried to kill himself! And Annabeth never talks to Percy about this again, and instead talks to Piper who thinks Percy needs to be restrained like he's some kind of monster when he was saving them! Percy is literally the most selfless and kind person out there. And Annabeth treats him like crap! She doesn't deserve him!

5. Percy isn't allowed to have bad thoughts on Luke. Luke, who's tried to kill him repeatedly since he was twelve! And in general, this ship is so toxic and codependent right now, it's in no way healthy.

Anyways sorry for my rant, but yeah Annabeth is abusive, and it's just so concerning how people possibly in elementary school are being exposed to this being a healthy relationship, where girlfriends can hit their boyfriends, and can stop them making friends with others, because they belong to them like some sort of object.

Yeah, I just relate to Percy so much, and I don't want him to deal with another Gabe.

Edit: Okay, for anyone who likes Annabeth or Percabeth, I don't care - you do you. You can like and dislike all the characters and ships you want, just as I can. So, if you disagree with what is said, that's fine, but don't expect me to change my stance when I have already pointed out several concerning behaviors. So, like good humans, we'll just have to agree to disagree and move on with our days.

[cynthiav06]

As toxic as Percabeth is, they’re still teenagers and there’s a chance that they could grow past that and Annabeth would overcome it. Heroes of Olympus makes that feel unlikely though.

I hold that belief because my relationship with my spouse started out unhealthy- I was extremely codependent due to not having many friends growing up and never quite getting the emotional support I needed from my family. But we grew past that and 11 years later, we’re approaching our 7 year marriage anniversary with our biggest goals as a couple (besides raising our kids) is to always communicate and it’s working well for us.

Annabeth in particular never maturing and growing past it doesn’t have to be what happens. They’re still teenagers, she could grow past it.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t seem like she’s going to grow and so many people act like the toxic relationship they have is normal and I’m just like…. No. Never mind, I don’t want to read Percabeth. Maybe I’ll ship Percy with Apollo or no one then.

I also thought of it that way. Annabeth would mature and come to understand the error of her ways, and since Percy means so much to her, she would reflect on all the things she says and does and change her ways in order to pursue a more healthier and long lasting relationship.

Then I read the Chalice of God and Read.Riordan. entries, and lost all hope. Annabeth is a character that you think cannot devolve more, and she surprises you in the worst possible way.

I have completely given up on Percabeth, and I will be reading any incoming books just for Percy as I always do.

Perpollo is a new but great ship that has so much potential but I am not really too in it yet but at least due to Apollo, Percy might ascend to godhood which is something I think is inevitable for someone of Percy's stature and power.

Right now, I think I am all for Perachel only. It's the best possible ship for Percy and for Rachel, and if you are interested, you should check out those posts.

But seriously, between their shared prophetic abilities, creative quick thinking minds, fun and easy going personality, and a deep care and affection for each other, Percy and Rachel are literally meant to be.

The Spirit of Delphi is extremely ancient and free and given Oracle of Delphi was once in Poseidon's domain, she could change alliances and freely date Percy, but my favorite headcanon is that Percy becomes a God and Rachel decides to swear allegiance to him instead.

Also, if you have any Perpollo recommendations or posts to share, please do.

[hilsonamore]

i’m so confused, how is anyone supposed to believe that house doesn’t have feelings for wilson when he is literally always trying to cause something so that wilson and his partner end up breaking up? Like, i’m on s5 ep5 (halfway through) and house has been spying on wilson relentlessly, and we just found out that wilson is also dating a hooker, and house is telling his private investigator to find out embarrassing things about her to force her to back off.

(my guy isn’t even trying to sound rational, he’s not even saying “to force her to get away from him/ let him go/ move away” he’s on full-on jealously mode)

“find her, find her family, find her client number nine. Just give me something to use to force her to back off”

His words, not mine.

And like wilson said, house is a drug addict and he goes to prostitutes for his own pleasure, so he has no right to be judgemental. And yet he is. But maybe it’s not just that particular woman that he has an issue with, it’s just everyone and anyone wilson dates, marries, hooks up with or is even vaguely interested in. Literally everyone and anyone. He has dated a doctor, nurses, been married to a doctor, a real estate broker, so it’s not like house sees this woman as inferior and that’s why he’s acting this way, because he’s literally treated every single one of wilson’s love interests as such.

House just- he wants wilson all to himself. He’s his only friend, the only person he knows (or at least hopes) actually loves him, the person that truly knows him and yet is still there for him, who has stood by him through everything, who knows all there is to know about house’s fucked-up mindset and ideas and thoughts and whatever, and yet he still stays with him. He can’t let him go.

“I’m not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are” - s5 ep4

They have this codependent and toxic relationship in which, whether they like it or not, they need each other to fill some kind of void inside of themselves. They are all the other has, the are the realest thing the other has. And that’s just…more than a platonic friendship.

Like, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that to diminish the worth and value of platonic relationships, not at all, platonic are be just as important and complex and fierce as romantic relationships, but it just doesn’t fit in their case. They don’t need to shove each other against the wall just to make it absolutely fucking clear that their bond goes beyond friendship, beyond the realm of romance, beyond any and every imaginable, tangible human connection. Their souls have been tied together ever since the very first time they laid eyes on each other, for better or for worse. They are connected on a psychical level.

This probably just made no sense whatsoever and im sorry if this is completely wrong i just thought i’d let out my thoughts before they slip away from me😔 feel free to comment/ repost your own takes!

[braxlrose]

PLEASE MAKE 2005 BILL HCS 🙏🏻🙇🏻‍♀️

I based this on the song Ich Bin Nich' Ich from their Schrei album so I hope you enjoy!

content warnings: bill being sad? 😭 lots of angst yk (which if you've been here for a while you'd know I actually LOVE writing angst) idk if this is considered toxic bc the way I've written it, it's very much filled with codependency to like a point where without a person youre suffering so 😬.

summary: bill misses you more than anything right now.

word count: 1.4k

a/n: for this fanfic, you're dating Bill at the time and have been for a little while, and it's set in like 2004/2005. I decided to do this bc Ich Bin Nich' Ich is literally my favorite song from Schrei sooo I can't wait to write this. I'm not sure if anybody else has done this so if they have please tell me! also, lmk if you want to be added to the tag list 💖💖

+ this is from bills perspective

Ich Bin Nich' Ich

meine augen schaun mich müde an und finden keinen trost

I laid down in my bed, my head pounding achingly from tonight's show. Sweat dripped down my forehead and rolled onto my pillow as I turned over. My shallow breathing was catching up to me and my eyes closed ever-so lightly. The cold pillow was a perfect embrace after the show tonight. Well—almost perfect.

My heart twinged with sadness as you came into my head. You always sat in the back of my head like a lingering melody, haunting and sweet. My mind never was able to get fully rid of you, especially now since we're on tour. Your soft and supple hands always seemed to fit perfectly in mine. You're glistening eyes, staring back at me and that enchanting smile that sat flawlessly upon your face. Nothing could ever pull me away from staring at you when we were together. Everything about you always made me feel like we were destined to be brought together, we fit so well with each other and our bodies seemed to always be pulling towards each other like magnets.

My fingernails dug into the bed sheets as I closed my eyes to "watch" you. Who cares if I couldn't see you right now, right? I could always close my eyes and watch the way your perfect body; your perfect everything, moved like the water as you glided through the air, running towards me whenever we would see each other again.

That wouldn't be for months, though..

The coldness of my pillow was fading as my body denied itself rest. I couldn't fall asleep with the sound of your angelic voice, whispering in my head. Which was ironic, because that voice was the same one that always helped me fall asleep on my hardest nights. Nothing right now could ever comfort me.. not unless you showed up.

I groaned in annoyance as a soft knock cracked against my door. Who needs to talk to me right now, it's 11 o' clock at night.

I pulled myself up off of my bed; the bedsheets lightly sticking to my skin from the sweat that once dripped from my body. Walking felt like trying to pull myself through quicksand, all I wanted to do was to see you. You see you—no, feel you jump into my arms and press your beautiful lips up against mine.

God, how amazing that would feel right now.

My body finally brought itself to the door and my hand slowly pulled it open to see a face I had known for quite some time.

"Tom?" I mumbled out, pressed my face into the tinted wall, "What are you doing up here?" I asked, my breath feeling heavy again.

"We're going to a party, are you coming or are you going to coop yourself up in your room again, for the nth time in a row." He spouted at me.

I rolled my eyes before telling him I'd be staying in my room again. He may have seemed a little agitated about that, but from the way he was looking at me, I think he could tell what was wrong. He always knew what was wrong.

"It's always obvious, your eyes tell us everything, Bill.." He would say to me every once in a while when I felt down. I guess I was never the one who was good at hiding my feelings, especially from my brother.

ich kann mich nich' mehr mit ansehen—bin ich los

alles was hier mal war—kann ich nich' mehr in mir finden

I forced myself into the bathroom, my hands gripping onto the sink in front of me as my eyes hesitated to look myself in the face. I'm sure I looked awful. Ever since I met you, I never felt like myself without you. You brought the me out of me. That's what I loved about you so much.

My eye makeup was smeared a bit and some of my mascara had run down my cheeks. I honestly looked like a mess. I blinked in the mirror, watching myself crumble. I needed you so badly. This was one of the hard nights, the hard nights when I really needed you.

The water i splashed upon my face dripped down my neck as my eyes slowly came upwards to look myself in the face.

I could never seem to see myself when you weren't with me, you always made me feel so much better. About everything and anything. I'm still not sure how you did it..

alles weg—wie im wahn, seh ich mich immer mehr verschwinden

My freshly dried face from a cotton towel felt stiff as tears rolled down my cheeks. My eyes stung with a fiery intensity that only someone as gracious and wonderful as you.

My body didn't seem like my own anymore as I crashed down against the soft, recently sweaty bed. Makeup smeared on the pillow as my cheek rested against it, staring over at the dimly lit; slightly sparky (?) lamp next to me. The curtains surrounding my room seemed to understand my awful being right now as I could feel more tears threatening to spill over my waterline, down my face.

I could almost swear this was an out of body experience, maybe I was just tired. Everything around me felt like a dream and I could feel myself slipping away. My body, my dreams, my everything. Nothing felt real anymore. Not when I'm away from you.

ich bin nich' ich wenn du nich' bei mir bist—bin ich allein

und das was jetzt noch von mir übrig ist...

My breath was caught in my throat as more memories of you poured into my head.

××× I remember the first time I saw you—

Walking outside the studio while everybody else finished up inside, the cold wind blowing in my face, brushing my hardened bangs to the side. My teeth lightly chattered as you flowed by me. I could swear you were an angel.

From your angelic face, to your scent. You were absolutely perfect and I was infatuated with you. I remember thinking someone like you would never go for someone like me.. right?

How happy I was when I figured out I was wrong.

From the way you held yourself to your laughter to your strength. You were everything I was looking for and more. How could I stumble upon love so quickly? How was I so lucky to have you enthralled with me.

You had never even heard of my band yet, you weren't a crazy, obsessed fan girl. You weren't someone looking for a one night stand or someone who wanted fame by association. You were so beautiful and real and absolutely raw. I still don't understand sometimes why you chose me, but I'm so glad you did.

×××

but here... without you. I feel as though I've lost a part of me. Like I'm not me when I'm not with you. I don't feel whole and I don't think I will until we've been reunited.

××× you're bright red, slushy red tongue seemed to gawk at my blue one as we laughed. I laid my around around you as we walked through the park. I finally had a day off from rehearsing and playing live shows, to hang out with you.

I swear my heart was going to explode out of my chest just from staring down into your beautiful eyes. The way you were staring up at me—i don't think I had ever loved somebody so much. You were my true "everything".

××× your warm breath, slowly yet calmly blowing against my neck as you fell into a deep slumber was probably one of the most relaxing things I could ever dream of. My arms were wrapped around you as the TV quietly played in the background. My body had never felt so amazing. And now with you—you just made everything so much better.

My hands glided into your hair as you snuggled closer into me. With the warm air surrounding us and the soft hum of the noise around us. Everything seemed absolutely perfect.

How could I live without you?

will ich nich' sein

draußen hängt der himmel schief

und an der Wand dein abschiedsbrief

ich bin nich' ich wenn du nich' bei mir bist—bin ich allein

I slowly closed my eyes, my body finally relaxing. Ever-so slightly, at least. We'd be together again soon, I'm not sure why tonight was so hard for me, to be without you.. but I cannot wait to see your sparkling beauty staring back at me when we come together again. I don't feel like myself right now, but hopefully with time, you will bring that back to me...

sorry this isn't longer 😭 I hope you guys enjoyed this though! also here are the English translations for the lyrics. They're pretty accurate, but some stuff may be a little off 😞

translations:

one: My eyes show off all of my sadness, and find no comfort here.

two: I can't face myself anymore, I'm not me.

three: Everything that was here, I cannot find myself inside me.

four: Swept away like a dream, I see myself vanish more and more.

five: I'm not myself when you're not, not with me, i'm all alone.

six: And everything that is still left of me.

seven: I don't want to be outside the heavens hang a slope and on the wall your farewell note. I'm not myself when you're not, not with me, I'm alone.

also this isn't proofread, so if there are any mistakes sorry!!

taglist: none yet

[poppy-metal]

Idk how I haven’t thought of this earlier for patrick angst considering it literally happened in the movie but what if you come across patrick when you’re fucking around on tinder one day and he needs to stay the night in your city. He looks a little scruffy and too cocky for his own good but he’s hot as fuck so you swipe right and before you know it you’ve experienced the most devastating, life-altering one night stand in history. It’s so good that patrick starts chaotically coming in and out of your life whenever he’s around even though he never sticks around somewhere longer than he has to and you keep letting him back into your life even though every time he leaves it breaks you a little because he acts like he loves you and he makes you feel so good in bed when he’s around. It’s the situationship to end all situationships

AUR this hurts hes like a friend that comes in and out of your life that you inevitably sleep with everytime he's back in town - and you always let him stay at your house, usually - he'll stay a few weeks and it'll be fun and you think maybe this'll be the time he realizes he loves you enough to stay - but he always goes. and you pretend it doesn't hurt, keep in contact through texts and emails and try to live your life like you're not just waiting for the next time patrick zweig will come back into it.

your codependency is toxic and it messes with your other relationships too. you'll be in a new relationship and he wont understand why you have to go meet this patrick guy, why you're spending money to get him a hotel room - you just tell him patrick is an old friend. not the love of your life, not the man you can't let go of or turn away from.

its worse when patrick doesn't make it easy. its like he knows how much he means to you, and he probably does. no ones let him use them this much, and you'd think that would harden him towards you, make him lose respect but the more you stick around its like the more important you come. he genuinely looks forward to seeing you, and when you tell him over coffee you have a boyfriend his face makes a "ugh," expression.

"what's that look for?" you ask after showing him a picture of the new guy.

"he looks like a fucking boy scout. he's gonna start selling me cookies and showing me how to tie a knot in 17 different ways."

"girl scouts are the ones with the cookies." you correct. "and he's nice."

"mm, because you love nice guys."

he has a knowing look and you purse your lips - memory flashing to all the times patrick treated you very unkindly, in bed.

"listen." you tell him. "I've set you up with a hotel - but we cant - i mean. this isn't like the other times..." you can't say it in so many words but he gets it. you're in a relationship now. you can't sleep together like you usually do. "but we can still hang out."

patrick sets his mug down. cups it with his two hands and just looks at you for a few seconds. he rubs his lips together, and you worry you've displeased him. but a slow smile spreads across his lips, "okay." he says simply, and picks his coffee back up. "we'll hang out."

he says it just like that. like its so easy. like everytime you've been around eachother physically it hasn't ended with your legs wrapped around his taut waist, clutching at him as he moves in you.

you try to swallow back your disappointment that he doesn't even seem bothered - "good."

you smile at eachother and sip your coffee and pretend like you wont cheat on your boyfriend with him in little under a week from now when you're walking patrick back to his hotel room after a night out, and he looks so good with his dark windswept hair and green eyes, when he leans against his open doorframe you try not to feel like a traitor the way you flush. you pretend you wont feebly try to murmur a goodbye, barely a fight put up at all when his hand reaches out to stop you, turning you back to him.

pretend you wont look at him like he's everything when he looks at your lips and brushes his thumb over the plump skin there, pretend your breath wont tremble when he asks - "did you dress like this tonight for him, or for me?"

pretend you wont shake as you look down and dont respond, knowing the answer should be your boyfriend, your boyfriend, who will be sitting at home nursing a scotch and waiting impatiently for you to return. you pretend you wont gasp when patrick winds a fist in your hair and drags you against him, your hands settling on his chest as you blink up at him - "let me fuck you." pretend you wont sigh and melt as he skims his lips over your cheek, your ear, your throat, laves his tongue over your skin, squeezes as your hip with his free hand. "please, baby. i need this. i need you -"

pretend that wont be all it takes to have you stumbling back with him into the hotel room, letting him yank your dress up and off your body - letting him put his mouth on places your boyfriend has never touched - letting him push you back onto the bed - letting his body cover yours.

you pretend you'll feel guilt when your phone rings on the nightstand and you look over to see your boyfriends name flashing on the screen. pretend you'll feel horrible and not gasp into patricks mouth when he tugs your attention back to him, "dont answer it." licking across your teeth as he breeches you with his cock - "tell me you missed me - tell me you needed this -"

pretend you wont wrap your legs around him and cry out against him as he moves inside you in rough punishing glides, the words pulled from your throat, "i need this, i need it so much, fuck - i miss you so fucking much when you're gone -"

"fuck, baby." and patrick will crush your body with his own, hips buckling down against yours as he makes love to you more intensely than he ever has before. "god, nothing's better than this pussy - love fucking you -"

for now, patrick asks, "so tell me about this guy. 'he the one?"

you smile, shrug. look away because you dont think anyone will ever compare to patrick zweig, even if you try really hard. "we'll see."

[fandomwe1rd0]

OVERANAYLAZING AN OLD MAN AND HIS GRANDSON AGAIN BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSS

I think Rick is more aware that he is codependent on Morty, maybe not completely aware, but let's take a look at who exactly Toxic Rick was thinking of when he heard the phase "irrational attachments"

He was looking directly at Morty

Not looking up and thinking about his other attachments (Which he probably considers irrational too let's be honest), not looking at Healthy Rick, he immediately thinks of and looks directly at Morty

So, we already know that Rick considers caring about people as a whole, irrational, I mean this is Rick we're talking about, but I find it interesting that he instantly thought of Morty and not literally anyone else.

Now, this is partially because he cares about Morty the most out of all of the family members, this much we know, I mean you really just gotta watch the show to see that Rick and Morty have the deepest bond out of all of the family members, they spend the most time together, heck they spend nearly all of their time together, I mean consider how lonely they both were before they came into each other lives, Morty was just a loner at school with no friends, and Rick was avoiding all bonds that didn't involve his work, either as a freedom fighter, or with finding Rick Prime, so they were both pretty lonely, then they found each other and became inseparable

But I'm just saying stuff we all know by this point, I mean why even mention that Toxic Rick looked directly at Morty

...

Well, because that made me think of something.

It is possible that Rick knows that he's codepedent on Morty, so he might've been looking at Morty because he knows that his "attachment" to Morty is partically irrational, because codepedency as a whole just is irrational, even to the average person.

Now, consider how irrational it is to Rick someone who, without a doubt, attempts to give everything a rational explanation, he tries to apply logic to everything, even stuff you just can't apply logic to.

Now think about how irrational it is to need someone, to sacrifice everything if it means keeping them safe, to destroy their psyche, to do whatever it takes as long as they stay by you, to break them down until they are irregonizable, it's not rational, it doesn't make sense to need someone, it makes even less sense to need a teenager, especially if that teenager just makes your life more difficult...

Especially if that teenager is your worst enemy's grandson

The guy who ruined your life, who killed your wife and child, the guy you killed with your bare hands.

So why are you sparing his grandson? Why do you care about him? Why do you love him more than you love anyone else, including yourself?

...

Why are you codependent on him?

It doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense, it doesn't make sense.

And that's exactly what Rick thinks

every

fucking

day

[is-today-tomorrow-in-nz]

Let's talk about Mal

Malina is a ship that I absolutely loathe. It is one of the worst possible ships to exist and it should not have been in the canon. This does not mean I hate friends to lovers as a trope. But Malina is toxic on so many levels and Mal's traits should not be portrayed as an act of love, in a YA novel no less.

Character Breakdown:

Characteristics/ Background Info:

Gifted First Army Tracker/ Third Amplifier.

Conventionally handsome.

Driven.

Opiniated(Considering the century the story takes place in.)

Beds other women often.

18-19 years old.

Orphan.

Was raised together with Alina.

How Alina sees Mal till she is taken away

Alina has an unhealthy codependency with Mal. She follows him around not just in the orphanage but in the army as well. She pictures them as husband-wife since they were children. She is extremely jealous and is just waiting for Mal to see her and pick her. But she is discovered as the Sun Summoner and taken away to the Little Palace.

How Mal sees Alina till she is taken away

A childhood friend who he thinks he has outgrown. He explores life beyond what the orphanage has offered him. He carries no romantic feelings for Alina(or going by the trope he has not realised his feelings for Alina). But till Alina is revealed and taken away to the Little Palace, she is not someone whom he associated with love or dreamt of sharing his life with. She was just a remanence of his past life.

How their relationship evolves after Alina becomes the Sun Summoner

After Alina was taken away, Mal 'realises' his feelings for her. And with no response to any of his letters, Mal is worried for her 'safety'. In an attempt to reconnect with her, he risks his life to locate the Stag. All noble and admirable so far.

Finally he sees her, he is more angry than relieved. Not to mention, it was her big debut. She had finally embraced her powers, had become healthy.

He claimed to be worried about her safety and was angry that she was safe(?). Once he realises his heroic act to rescue her is not needed he verbally bashes her for becoming who she was supposed to be(?) Practically calls her the Darkling's whore. See, I was a teenager once. I know that teenagers can be incredibly selfish sometimes. But if your bestie, whom you believed was being tortured, is safe and healthy, you don't bring them down, especially when you claim to love them. You will feel relieved. Yeah, it might sting a little to know that she has moved on without you and she is no longer the childhood bestie you grow up with. But, you support them and wish them well. However, Mal acts incredibly jealous and verbally lashes out unable to face his own inadequacy.

From here on it's red flag nation and classic abuser techniques and traits.

He finds runaway Alina. When you find your bestie whom you accused of being a cossetted princess a few days ago on the run, you become worried. But Mal is all 'I told you so'. His ego is soothed . The Darkling is bad just as he said.

He comments about Alina having an appetite. He has seen his friend sickly thin, with breathing issues, cold, hungry and suffering with an unknown illness for 8-10 years. And now he sees her finally healthy and eating and comments on it as if it is an inconvenience for him. This is were Alina should have had an awakening and walked away from him. But LB thinks this is cute and a healthy love. So Alina remains.

We skip to Siege and Storm, they are in incognito. Alina has wasting sickness again. But not a single concern from Mal. He doesn't question why she became healthy or why she becomes sick again. He is just happy that he got the girl he grew up with back.

When Alina is back in Ravka and with a prince no less. We see the absolute worst of Mal. He is jealous, once again of his own inadequacy, and takes it out on Alina. She is being thrust into a world of politics, in a country literally on the verge of civil war and all he can think of are ways to make Alina's new position about himself.

He throws tantrum anytime Alina has thoughts other than him. He doesn't allow her to focus on the war or grow into her new role. He hates that she is no longer the girl he grew up with. He hates that Nikolai is actually making her better, giving her autonomy, coaching her to the life of politics. He picks constant fights with her. Suffocating her more when she was already struggling under the pressure of leading an army.

Alina tries to establish herself as the leader and commander of the Second Army and he thwarts her attempts by telling the guards and soldiers under her direct command embarrassing stories from her childhood to 'humanize her'. She is the Sun Summoner, a living saint, someone who is being courted by a prince. But he cannot have that can he? He cannot let her raise to glory. He has to bring her down to his level to show her that she was no better than him. He does not want Alina to have anything that was not him or given by him. He punishes her for his inefficacy.

When Alina backs away from a kiss, he goes on to kiss Zoya and cheats on Alina and tells Alina she made him do it. This, right here, is how an abuser behaves.

I don't buy his redemption arc in Ruin and Raising. It was a switch up after the negative feedbacks to his characters and nothing more.

It doesn't matter in the end because, Alina's powers which were an integral part of her was ripped out and she ends up with Mal to become his wife. Mal gets his girl he grew up with, who has always been beneath him.

Mal was an anchor who did not allow Alina to move upward and succeeded in his attempts to sink her with him under the disguise of love.

Conclusion

LB portrays the Darkling as the evil guy and retcons the trilogy to show us how bad he was in the duology. But for an author who is so concerned about young girls falling for abusive men, she literally ignores the glaring, mile-long red flag in Mal and packages them as a destined lovers. For an author who is all about morality and opening young girls eyes to the viles of men, she is doing a disservice to her own readers. The chances of me as a woman, coming across an 'evil' shadow man like the Darkling or a literal Prince are zero(not even near zero.) But Mal is a regular guy. A guy whom we see in our everyday lives. You can see him in a friend who grows jealous of your growth and tries to sabotage your career or in a friend who carried torch for you and spreads rumours about you when he sees you with better men than himself or you can see him in a boyfriend who strings you along for a decade while he waits for his dream girl to come. My point is, men like Mal exist in the real world and the author cannot claim a moral high ground with the Darkling and ignore all the abhorrent things Mal did to Alina. I don't care if people reading this are pro Darkling or not but I care if someone calls Malina as a healthy ship.

Note: Please read books like 'Why Does he Do that?' by Lundy Bancroft or please watch the show 'Kevin can f* himself'. You will see the parallels and understand who Mal really is.

[wendytestabrat]

the main problem with kyle in the new episodes

ok this is what RLLY bothers me abt kyle in modern south park ESPECIALLY in seasons 24-26 and i think a lot of people are getting annoyed with this shit too. i hate how they’ve been showing repeatedly how cartman’s getting better and acting nicer in the new episodes so like why TF is kyle still being a dick to him and treating him like a monster???? i mean for YEARS kyle has been going out of his way to help cartman and change cartman and making it clear he wants cartman to be a better person and make better choices, so then when cartman finally does he’s just like 😴. like idc if u ship kyman or not it’s rlly out of character for kyle. they’re still canonically close friends so it feels like a missed opportunity for character development on kyle’s end for them not to show kyle reciprocating or appreciating cartman doing better. i guess it’s bc matt & trey are trying to show kyle has been the toxic one and the jealous snake friend all along, but still even tho kyle is an asshole they don’t have to make him THAT big of an asshole. i think a lot of people like seeing kyle’s caring codependent side come out bc that’s the good side of kyle as a person how big-hearted and empathetic he can be. and there def have been some modern episodes where they DO get this right like especially in “the streaming wars” when kyle helped cartman out with his mom’s ‘surgery’ (even tho kyle deadass only helps cartman or feels bad for him when cartman is lying just to fuck himself over which i had talked abt before how he always gets the timing wrong with cartman for those who are caught up on your wendytestabrat lore). i also feel like an episode that DEF got things right with kyle was “help my teenager hates me” from s25. i loved that moment where cartman was crying abt how everything sucks and he lives in a hot dog and kyle is just like “ru okay cartman?” like bitch we need more moments like THAT. even if kyman doesn’t happen, idc like i just wanna see more moments of kyle being a good friend to cartman back (bc they def have given us A LOT of moments of cartman being there for kyle) is that too much to ask? but yeah in the images i used above are from the specials “post covid” (part 1), “south parq vaccination special”, “not suitable for children” and “joining the panderverse” and in literally every single one of these specials kyle’s being a dick and jumping down cartman’s throat when he aint doing anything wrong lol. in post covid he’s all mad at cartman for being a rabbi, even tho we all know cartman wasn’t faking it and was genuinely happy. in “south parq vaccination special” he gets all pissy throughout the whole thing when all cartman is trying to do is save the broship, in “not suitable for children” he’s getting all mad at cartman for making his own cred affinity group which last i checked aint a crime (and we all know he was just mad bc cartman wasn’t letting him in the group), and in “joining the panderverse” he’s getting all mad and annoyed over cartman being replaced by a black woman and he acts like cartman is making it up even tho cartman was telling the truth and there was this real parallel universe shit happening. like this shit needs to stop it’s getting soooo old and all it’s doing is making kyle unlikable af and annoying everyone who used to love kyle lol. like ok we get it matt & trey kyle can be just as toxic as cartman, now can we also see that he can be just as caring and nice as cartman too?

and btw this is why there have been less kyman rants:

[jacarandaaaas]

I’m bored so here’s user jacarandaaaas hot takes rapid fire round

- I don’t think camilo is an asshole who’s heartless and I hate content that portrays him as such

- pepa is not a bad parent because of one 5 second scene where camilo comforts her

- julietas trauma is undermined a lot of the time and compared to her daughters

- comparing the characters trauma is weird

- i don’t think isabela is crazy violent post movie and would hate to be seen that way

- luisa is an introvert

- I don’t like the take that bruno avoided the kids pre movie I actually think he would spend more time with them than the adults

- I hate parentified mirabel. she’s 15 let her have fun she does not need to babysit people who are all older than her

- on another note yall undermine mirabel too much just because she has trauma but so does every other character. mirabel is not the only one who is traumatized and her trauma doesn’t make her any less capable than anyone else.

- isabela is smarter than she’s given credit for

- luisa is the most feminine out of the sisters but y’all discredit that because she has muscles even tho the movie has an entire song about how she wants to be seen as more than that.

- dolores can be fun

- camilo is watered down to being just “crazy” but y’all ignore how caring and considerate he is too just cause he’s a teenage boy

- let mirabel say fuck

- this one isn’t even a hot take anymore but none of the characters are perfect and that includes Bruno

- talking about bruno I hate when he’s shown to be completely incompetent at everything

- same with mirabel

- I think it takes a lot of time for isabela to fully embrace imperfection as we saw after wecid how fast she reverted back

- alma is not evil or villainous at all but people have a right to be upset at how she acted (the movie makes this a point she does say mean things) her actions are understandable not inexcusable

- going from one toxic dynamic to a different toxic dynamic doesn’t make it any less toxic (codependency)

- isabela and mirabels relationship is mutually strained

- luisa wasn’t a good sister just because she ignored mirabel instead of belittling her

- mirabel was just as ignorant as everyone else and I’m tired of y’all acting like she knew the whole time when she didn’t

- pepa never hated bruno and y’all didn’t understand wdtab

- LET MIRABEL BE FUN AND SILLY

- antonio wouldn’t abandon mirabel for his animals he already loved animals premovie anyways

- isabela is a huge softie and I hate how overlooked that aspect of her is

- luisa never hated isabela

- dolores never intended on ruining isabelas proposal she just heard a prophecy that everyone’s lives were gonna be ruined and was terrified

- mirabel has friends

- luisa is a grown woman who is capable of doing things for herself

- I think camilo was the most distant when bruno came back but after a while they became really close

- mirabel is brunos fav i mean come on she literally saved his life

- i don’t think pedro is given enough respect

uh yeah that’s all I have for now lmao