#we neEED closure

[duubaloo]

with the mandalorian season 3 coming close to start I'm wondering again if they'll mention luke and why he sent grogu back without a note or company or if Luke is just never going to me mentioned again

[geneterrachan]

me, dead and lying in my grave: yeah but where’s my closure though

[louis-stan]

I JUST FINISHED WATCHING CAOS PT. 4 AND I NEEED TO GET MY FEELINGS OUT (contains spoilers)

FIRST OF ALL, i love the sabrina twins literally will protect them with all of my heart. I also love the fact that this gives the us the whole “she has no one to rely on but herself” thing and they will literally protect each other at all cost.

•ngl the “dad” satan kinda craved a soft spot for mr lucifer morningstar in my heart. Im so happy they decided to give us dad satan who will literally kill another celestial for his daughter.

•UGH DONT GET ME STARTED ON SAB MORNING STAR AND CALIBAN THEY DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER (even though caliban is a scheming lil btch)

•that ep where in sabrina spellman get’s denied by both of her “dads”. Literally broke my heart that Sabrina Spellman is an orphan at least S. Morningstar was considered by a daughter by Satan, meanwhile S. Spellman had to find out the Edward wanted to kill her when she was only baby bc she knew who she was and when auntie zee told her to sya goodbye to edward she simply said “he’s not my father”. Which must be heartbreaking for her since kn the first season we see her idolizing her “dad” so much

•The musical eps were just *chef’s kiss*

•The alternate dimension with the OG Aunt Zee and Aunt Hilda! Plus talking salem (tho it was badly executed but probably netflix was already budget cutting them since they were closing down)

•Lilith’s triumph! Although im sad that she had to sacrifice not one but THREE ADAMS, including her son to get want she wanted she deserved so much better.

•Last but not the least, the closure. I feel like the writers did a great job for the LAST season, they gave us closure of the things in Greendale and for Sabrina also. Probably if they didn’t get canceled ofc they couldve gone to another direction but killing off sabrina was the smartest choice. I just felt like S. Spellman wasn’t too happy about using her twin’s body in order to be alive, it just didnt feel like something she would do. In the end she chooses to sacrifice herself in order to “balance” out what had happened giving her closure of what chaos she started. Also with the nabrina endgame, though I wish I could’ve seen more scenes of Nick acknowledging what he had done wrong previously and generally pinning for her it felt a bit rushed but considering the writers are trying to fit everything in one season im not that mad. Also im not that mad that they killed her off since she has a savior complex of some sorts so it’d be kind weird to see her alive then bring more chaos to greendale then having to sacrifice her life for nth time only for the cycle to repeat again

In summary im still happy with how CAOS ended though I’d much prefer if they had gotten another season at least then it would give us a glimpse of what transpired after part 4 or give us explanations of somethings that never got explanations in the first few seasons. Like her actual “twin” ( I cant count S. Morningstar since she did say she was her from the future or another realm) if y’all remember there was another baby that had half of satan’s body and the other with a normal human body. Also what happens now that the church/coven of Fr. Blackwood is getting bigger? And the twins? What had happened to them? Still a lot of unanswered questions but mostly already focused on the other characters, so I guess they did a great job closing sabrina’s chapter.

[the-ghost-king]

Dont read if you haven’t finished we are totally normal

So i read we are totally normal after i saw you post the first few pages and can i just

Is nandan asexual? I think that was made pretty clear tbh but i also kinda wish he used that label? And i hate that it ended right at that part with him and dave, with no further discussion. I know you dont neeed a label to be who you are but it would be nice to see that in a character.

Also i know you were comparing the characters to nico and percy and it was sooo interesting to read it through that lens

I finished it anon, lmao, I have a tendency to speed read books!

I'll say this to start off, I don't think the book evolved in the way Nico, Percy, and Jason's relationship was/would be, just some aspects of those first few pages, and the jokey nature in some ways. Nandan's desperation for attention kind of reminds me of Nico idolizing Percy- but I think in truth now that I have finished the book, the stories are very different even if they carry some similar tones.

I'm going to try to be as objective as possible, but the truth of the matter is this book for me was a deeply personal and very subjective thing. I had also pondered if Nandan was asexual, but the weird thing to me was that he arrived to the conclusion when discussing it with Mari that "it all just felt like words". So perhaps not? Perhaps so. Who can say? The bisexual and asexual community used to overlap a lot, before words for asexual really existed, asexual people were sort of assumed to be bi without preference. There's a history there between those two communities, it's a very strong bond even if forgotten.

The aspect of not labeling Nandan's feelings or sexuality is intentional, and as much as I dislike the lack of closure. I understand that's the point.

I found the book because I was looking for reads about internalized homophobia, and I don't know if that's what Nandan is working through- maybe, but he's sort of just sitting through societies view of him, trying to figure out what box he fits it- where he belongs. Maybe that's all internalized homophobia is, introspection, self questioning- I'm not sure.

This book is deeply personal- that constant back and forth "what do I feel?". Somedays queer is too big of a word, it means too many things, it's complicated and hard and it just doesn't feel right. Those days you wish for a smaller word, there's so many labels and if you find a community that's more tight knit and you'll relate to those experiences more and maybe you'll find yourself. But for me at least, it never works. Other days any word more specific than queer feels too strong, too much, too restrictive- it feels like a lie, whether or not it is. Because on those days all you can rationalize in your head is "I know I'm not cis/straight but what am I?" and it pulls up that unavoidable question Nanden keeps asking "Who am I?"

The reason it ends without Nanden having a label, is simply because there is no answer. I know everyone wants that neat little box, that more specific word, that more close knit community, but I don't know if some people ever get that. I don't think that more specific concept ever reaches some people, and you can see up until the last few paragraphs of the book how much it tears Nanden up inside, how much it hurts. You feel like an outsider even in yourself. His disassociation from his actions is probably got something to do with "if I am present for this I have to bring back up those questions".

Maybe he's asexual, maybe he's bi, pan or poly, maybe he is just straight and Dave is just this one time thing, maybe he's gay, or maybe he's just queer. He's Nandan.

I don't understand the book because I find myself in the midst of many of the same questions Nandan is. I cannot quote those specific feelings for with the exception of him being a follower, almost everything he says is something I have wanted to say at some point- or at least I have thought it. How can I communicate my feelings and thoughts on a piece of literature when that piece of literature is my thoughts and my struggles?

I won't pretend to understand something I don't, but I wonder is want is the same as interest? And I don't have an answer for that or for who Nadan is.

[alj4890]

Love/Angst Prompt

(Thomas x Amanda) with the prompts "It's lonely here without you." And "Are you flirting with me?" Also asked for the couple broken up and running into each other after a long separation. Requested by anonymous.

(Thomas Hunt x oc*Amanda) Choices: Red Carpet Diaries and The Royal Romance fan fiction.

Inspired by the song: Take a Bow

A/N Wow. This request was something else. Clearly this is angst with a capital "A". I couldn't help myself with the ending. The angst demanded it. Sorry. This isn't a part of any of my AU's, more of a "What if" scearnio. 😢

Masterlist

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Say Goodbye

Thomas stepped into the palace's opulent ballroom in Cordonia. It had been nearly a year since he last stepped foot on Cordonian soil. He wouldn't be here now if he were not in the process of filming The Duchess and neeeded permission from the new king to film here. After all, she lived here.

He nodded a greeting to a few acquaintances and headed straight for the bar. If he was to face her after such a separation, he needed liquid courage.

"Hunt?"

He dropped his head forward. And so it begins he thought darkly. He turned his head and looked at the one who had called his name. "Drake. How have you been?"

"You've got some nerve showing your face here." Drake bit out.

"I--"

"Get the hell out of here." Drake interrupted with a harsh whisper. "I won't see her hurt again. Not now."

"I was ordered to come!" Thomas snarled back. "Do you honestly think I would be here if it wasn't absolutely necess--" his voice dropped off when he saw her. Lady Amanda had finally entered the room. 

She was lovelier than he remembered. The pictures he had held onto of the two of them together barely did her justice. Her hair was different. Shorter. He downed his drink when he saw her smile and heard her laugh. He handed his glass back for a refill while watching her. His mind immediately went back to their last time together.

_________________

Nearly a year ago...

"These times apart aren't getting any easier." Amanda slipped her arms around him, pressing her lips to his and trailing down his neck. "It's lonely here without you."

"I can't move here." Thomas stressed. "And you won't move to California."

"I know." She sighed. "I can't leave my responsibilities here." Her hazel eyes looked up at him. "Is there any way you could move your film crew here?"

Thomas shook his head in frustration. It was getting to the point that their times together were mostly spent upset over their limited interactions. "Amanda, this isn't working out like I thought."

Her eyes widened. "Thomas I wasn't serious about you moving here. I know you can't. I was simply letting you know I miss you."

Thomas set her from him. "I can't keep doing this."

"What?" She swallowed against the lump in her throat.

"I can't keep being guilty for leaving, upsetting you, and trying to squeeze you in between shooting schedules. It isn't fair to either of us." He wasn't sure how he had been able to say the words with her tears falling silently. His tongue burned from the bitterness of his tone, knowing he had hurt her.

"Thomas...I love you. I want to be with you any possible way I can. I--"

He put his hands on her shoulders to stop her heartfelt words. He had suspected she loved him. To hear the words...he closed his eyes against the very phrase his heart had wanted to hear most from her lips. He loved her more than anything. They were sadly two people that couldn't have a relationship.

"I'm sorry. We need to end this before we are completely miserable." Thomas allowed himself to caress her cheek one last time before stepping away. He picked up his bag and muttered a goodbye while he hurried off to his gate. He glanced back before boarding the plane and saw her with a hand over her mouth. Her shoulders shook with sobs and her eyes met his. With a Herculean effort, he turned his back on her and left.

____________________

He swallowed the last of his third glass of scotch and decided to get the agony of waiting over with. She had walked away from a group and moved to an aclove. Thomas ordered her favorite drink and another scotch. He hoped his peace offering would be taken as such.

Amanda sat down and winced at her new shoes. The left pinched her foot horribly. She had her eyes cast down when she heard an achingly familiar sound of someone clearing his throat to get her attention. Her eyes shot up and her lips parted at the man that haunted her dreams. She swallowed nervously and somehow managed to greet him. "Hello Thomas."

"Hello Amanda." His lips formed a sad smile while his eyes moved over her hungrily. He handed her the drink he had ordered for her. She thanked him, wondering why he was here after all this time. Why now?

As if reading her thoughts, he spoke. "I am waiting on King Liam's permission to film here."

"Oh." She didn't know if she was relieved or upset that he had not come for her. "I wish you good luck with your movie. I'm sure it will be like your others." Her heartbreakingly sad eyes met his as her lips formed the compliments she had always given him. "With your brilliant direction, I know it will be outstanding."

"Amanda..." He set his drink down and sat down beside her. He took her icy hand, needing to feel her skin once more. He heard the soft gasp when he kissed her hand tenderly. Her eyes closed at the touch of his lips while her pulse leaped to life for the first time in a year. She bit her lip and pulled her hand away. "Forgive me, I need some air."

He followed her outside, needing to know if she felt anything for him. Thomas knew he should walk away but he couldn't. He grabbed her in the shadows of the courtyard and pushed her against the rough stone of the palace wall. His lips crashed down on hers, drawing a low moan from her. Her hands gently cradled his face, softly brushing over his stubbled jaw.

He felt something settle within him with each caress from her tongue against his. He lifted his head and saw the tears shining in her eyes. She took a deep breath and urged his lips back to hers. "Thomas," she whispered, "I've missed you so much."

His lips moved over hers while he whispered how much he loved her, how much he had always loved her. Amanda held him close to her, tucking the words in her heart to have when she was at her loneliest.

Thomas cupped her face and softly kissed her forehead, cheeks, and mouth. "You have grown more beautiful."

Her laughter tickled his ear. It held a strange note of sadness. "I'm afraid you're the only one to think it," she clutched his shoulders when his lips traveled down to the top of cleavage revealed by her gown. "Thomas!"

"Any fool with half a brain would notice how you look." His hands took both of hers to kiss her palms. "I happen to be a fool with a full brain who finds you irrestible."

"Are you flirting with me, Mr. Hunt?" She asked, in the teasing tone only he had been able to bring out in her.

He straightened up and held her close. His fingers trailed down her cheek, earning a kiss to his palm. "Yes. Is that a problem?"

"I don't know any man who would approve of another flirting with his intended."

Thomas and Amanda turned to see Liam standing there. His face was impassive with a touch of sadness. "Amanda, my love, will you excuse us a moment?"

Her lip trembled as she nodded. She gently touched Thomas's cheek before grasping Liam's hand. "This is all my fault. I wasn't able to find a moment to tell him."

Liam squeezed her hand. "Do not worry so." He kissed her cheek and wiped her tears. "Bastien, will you escort my lady to her chambers to freshen up?"

The guard moved out of the shadows and bowed. Thomas was at a complete loss when she calmly walked away. He watched, hoping she would give him a sign or something that she wanted to be with him. Liam led the distraught man into his study, bypassing the ballroom.

He handed Thomas a glass of scotch and sat down across from him with his own tumbler filled to the brim. In a concise fashion, he explained how he and Amanda had become engaged. His true love had risque photographs taken of her with another noble. "The people wouldn't forgive her suppposed trespasses and demanded I pick a new lady to marry. It had come down to three noble ladies and I chose the one who I could trust most and who would help me clear Riley's name."

Thomas stared off in the distance as Liam continued his story. Amanda had been in America and he had not known. He could have helped convince this man to come forward. Freed her, Liam, and his Riley. He could have had his duchess back.

"It didn't work. The noble refused to cooperate and the people demanded Riley be barred from entering the country again." Liam stared down into his empty glass. "I lost her forever."

Thomas leaned forward and held his glass between his hands, tapping the cut crystal with his finger. "Why did you invite me here?"

Liam's blue eyes reflected his raw anguish. "I know how Amanda felt about you. Still feels about you. I suppose part of me wanted to help her gain closure or have a sweet moment to cherish before being trapped with me in this thankless position."

Thomas threw back the rest of his scotch, wishing it would burn away every single feeling he had. Make him numb for eternity. His stubborn refusal to crawl back to her had cost him everything. Cost her everything.

Liam stood and laid a comiserating hand on his shoulder. "You have my heartfelt apology, Thomas. I was unaware you still felt anything for her."

He got up and set his glass down. "I felt everything for her. She is the love of my life. No one will ever take her place." He began to walk out but paused at the last moment. "Take care of her. Please. Tell her I couldn't stay after hearing...tell her it was and will always be her." Thomas turned the doorknob and left the palace for good.

[blog-music-is-my-life]

New interview with Steven Adler on Eddie Trunk’s show

On when he was first approached about being involved with the GUNS N’ ROSES reunion tour:

Adler: "Well, it was January 2, 2016, and Slash and Duff both texted me and said that they wanted to get together and talk to me.  So I went down to Duff's house and we had a nice little talk. They had me sign some contract thing and whatnot just so they could talk to me, which is cool; I don't care. Then in March I came down to rehearsal, and the second rehearsal, I got a pinched nerve in my L4 in my lower back. But I was only out for ten days. By the time they did The Troubadour show, I was ready to go. I called Duff up and I said, 'Dude, I'm ready to rock. Can I do these shows?' They had The Troubadour and they had, like, seven other shows. And he said, 'No, you're not gonna be part of this.' I was, like, 'Fuck you!' and I hung up on him. And I called him back and I said, 'I'm sorry. I was just angry at myself. I feel like I ruined it for myself, and I was just saying mean things to you because that's how I felt about me.' You know, I [was] trying to move forward. And so one day, I think, like, July 3rd or July 4th, they called me and said, 'You wanna come down to Cincinnati and Nashville?' And I said, 'Yeah. When?' And they said, 'Tomorrow.' So, of course, I got on a plane, I went, I got to jam with them, and it was great. It's just not the same. I was thinking it was gonna be the same as it was twenty-five years ago, but not having Izzy [Stradlin, former GUNS N' ROSES guitarist] there, and just playing one or two songs, it was very hurtful and heartbreaking for me. And Richard [Fortus, current GUNS N' ROSES guitarist] is a phenomenal guitar player — he's a great guitar player — and the crazy thing is, from ten feet away, he fucking looks like Izzy. And they asked me to go to… they said either Japan or Australia or Thailand, and I said I'm not gonna fly twenty thousand miles to play one or two songs. It's just too much."

On whether he was being paid for his guest appearance with GUNS N' ROSES:

Adler: "Oh, yeah. They gave me a couple of bucks. They're good guys with that. But still, to be on the side of the stage and to watch somebody else play the songs, it's heartbreaking."

On why he thinks he wasn't allowed to play more songs and at more shows:

Adler: "Dude, I was in Argentina. Why would they let me play [only] one song? I have no idea.  And out of respect for Fernando [Lebeis, who is part of GUNS N' ROSES' management team], I have nothing negative to say, 'cause I was just so glad to be able to do it. And even though it wasn't what it could be and should be, I got closure. And I feel so much better — like there's a billion-ton weight lifted off of me, where I can move forward again. I can play with other people, I can do other things, and it's the greatest thing. I've been practicing the four agreements [essential steps on the path to personal freedom] for the last three years, and it's changed my life. I'm a totally happier person. I'm the person when I was young, a teenager, and excited, and had dreams and goals and wanted to do things. And I like it. Before, all I wanted to do was do a fucking reunion. And I got to do what I got to do, and I'm thankful for that."

On whether he ever asked the GUNS N' ROSES management team why he couldn't play more songs:

Adler: "Of course! I'd start playing another fucking song, and they'd tell me to get off. They'd say, 'Okay, you're done.' And I'd start playing another song, and they'd just turned the sound of. 'Beat it. You're done.' I was, like, 'Okay. Cool.' I got to do that. It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, and I got to rock with those guys. And I love Slash and Duff and Axl, and I got to meet some great people that are working with them. And Fernando, who is GN'R's main guy, he's got some good ideas for hopefully this summer, for the thirtieth anniversary [of 'Appetite For Destruction'] in July, something for the fans. I don't know what it is, but he's a good guy, and I think he's gonna do the right thing… And there never will be an explanation [for why I can't play more songs with them]. It is what it is, and that's that."

On what it was like seeing Axl Rose for the first time after he came down to play with GUNS N' ROSES in Cincinnati last July:

Adler: "I only talked to Axl for literally ten seconds. The first night I played with them in Cincinnati, I got a fistbump and a little smile, and that was good enough for me. And then at Dodger Stadium [in Los Angeles], I got to give him a little hug and shake his hand and say I love him and he fucking rules and 'thank you so much for giving me this opportunity. I had the greatest time.' And he walked on his way. And I went on with my life. And I've been enjoying it ever since. He's Axl. He does his show and he gets so passionate and such emotion that he really just needs to relax and come down for at least an hour, 'cause he is a monster on stage. And he puts out so much feeling that he becomes those songs. And he's been fabulous at it. And Slash and Duff are so much fun. When we're together at soundheck, the crew was all, 'Jesus Christ! You've gotta come down more, 'cause the only time these guys ever smile or have fun is when you're here.' And I was saying, 'I would love to.' But it is what it is."

On why he thinks Izzy Stradlin hasn't gotten involved in the GUNS N' ROSES reunion at all:

Adler: "Because he wants to do it like me — the right way or not at all. And the reason I did it and needed to do it was because I got kicked out of the band for reasons I still don't know. To say that I'm a drug addict in that band and getting kicked out for drugs is ridiculous. They were doing drugs way more than me, so it's like calling the kettle black. But it was different stuff. Axl wanted more control of the thing. Then he wanted control of Izzy, and then he wanted control of Slash and Duff, and so one at a time everybody left until it was the Axl Rose band. But he still called it GUNS N' ROSES. And I don't blame him — I would too, 'cause that name is worth billions. So I'd use it if I could myself. [Laughs] I'd get Steven Tyler to sing though. [Laughs] Like I said, [Izzy] wants to do it the right way, with the five of us, and I needed to do it, because I neeed closure. I got kicked out, and all of a sudden… I had a road crew, I had management, I had accountants, I had stage people, I had a band, and then one day, literally in one afternoon, I had nobody — I was all alone. And I was scared shitless. I didn't know what to do. What do I do? All I knew was what I was doing. And then I was left all alone. So being able to at least play the one or two songs at the five shows I did was severe closure for me."

On whether he is open to playing with GUNS N' ROSES again:

Adler: "If we did it the right way, yes. I can't watch somebody… I will share the stage with Frank any day. I'll do the 'Appetite' stuff, which is the great stuff anyways and the fun stuff anyways, and I'll do the 'Lies' stuff, I'll do a couple of 'Illusions' [songs], and let Frank, in the middle of the set, play the 'Chinese Democracy' stuff, some of the 'Illusions' stuff. If we split it, I wouldn't mind sharing the stage with him at all. I mean, if that's what it came down to, I'm cool with that. He's a great guy. [But] I can't [just play one or two songs per show anymore]. It's just too hard. It's too hard. I wanna play more, and I want Izzy to be there. It was the five of us that made magic, and I know we can make that magic again, 'cause it's just who we are. Even though we're twenty-five years older, I know if we got in a room together and started playing, it would be fucking magic."

On whether he would be able to step up and play a full two-hour show with GUNS N' ROSES, if asked, at this point:

Adler: "Oh, God, yes. I wanted to push Frank down the stairs one night, but he's too much of a great guy. I can't do it. I can't push him down the stairs. I'll get my shot this way. One way or another, I'm getting up there and playing more songs. Somebody's going down, and it ain't gonna be me."

On whether he ever rehearsed with the full band at any point:

Adler: "No. Just those two rehearsals before I hurt my back, and that was just with Slash and Duff. Richard wasn't even there."

On whether he had any interaction with the other guys and gals in the band — Dizzy Reed (keyboards), Melissa Reese (keyboards) and Richard — before he walked out on stage with GUNS N' ROSES in Cincinnati:

Adler: "Oh, dude. The reason they fit perfect in that band is 'cause they're like fucking ghosts. 'Cause Axl doesn't wanna see nobody. I would walk into the studio, I'd say hi to them, and then I'd turn around, and they'd be gone. And then when I was done playing, all of a sudden, [they'd be there] again. And I'm, like, 'Where did you go?' Very nice people — very quiet, just the way Axl likes it: nice and quiet."

source: http://www.blabbermouth.net/news/steven-adler-says-he-only-got-to-talk-to-axl-rose-for-ten-seconds-during-not-in-this-lifetime-tour/#DubVvoGEL1OkPB4h.99

[followingmagic-blog]

daydreaming the entire walk home that you ran after me and we talked and laughed and walked and it was good and we cemented that we was just friends and it was the closure I neeeded

[justanothermessageinabottle]

Looking for closure

Life went on, it always does no matter what you want it or not. Since that day forward I keep feeling like a piece of shit. It does sound ridiculous looking back, even grotesquely childish but since that day I was pretty much terrified to even talk to her, or at least talk more than the strictly necessary. The way I saw it, we were no longer friends and I had no one to blame but myself, we were just two classmates, like any other around the classroom.

Was I naïve enough to believe I could fix things between us? Not really, I mean, if I could I would have done anything to, at the very least, became good friends again, but if the solution was there I just never saw it.

As always I constantly went and cry to the shoulder of my awesome friend. She was very patient with me and I do thing I more than once annoyed her with the same crying and moaning that I always end up doing, but she never said anything about it. During one of those conversations I told her that, yes I screw the situation beyond any repair but I was still holding these feelings for this girl and as long I had them I would feel miserable. I NEEEDED to tell that girl that I love her, not in hopes of repairing our friendship, Hell! If anything that would just be ultimate way to blow it up but, if anything else, maybe, just maybe, that would help me to get some sort of closure. “Well” my friend said “then just do it”. It may sound like the must simple advice ever, but that was the exact thing I needed to hear to build up my little courage I had left and do exactly that.

It should be obvious to anyone reading this, but I am not exactly good with words. You thing this is a mess? You should hear me talk. How hard could it be? I just wanted to say to her two simple words, but that was not all of it, the most important, yes, but not the only thing. I needed to tell her so many things, not only that I was sorry, not only that I love her, but once I would start speaking I know my brain would immediately disconnect from my mouth and I would just speak nonsense. What to do? Pretty much exactly what I´m doing right now, write about it.

It is old fashion, you might thing even ridiculous in this day and age, but that was the best solution I could come up with: write her a love letter. So I did.