#we might not have it in the music app yet but it’s ok i just like the song :)

[kay-selfships]

hey guys did you know that i love utakata dance floor

[laguezze]

PAC: A letter you're meant to receive

I'm baaaaack~ (kinda) (pretty casually, life's been tough)

As always here are the rules:

Minors DNI

Don't take everything to heart, this is a general reading! Take what resonates!

It's honest, I don't sugarcoat. If you're not liking what you read, keep scrolling! It may not be for you or you may not be ready for that message yet!

Let's take a look at the piles!!!

Pile 1

Pile 2

Pile 3

Let's go!

Pile 1

Signs this may be for you: unicorn, South Korea , the letter S, Squirrels, Love, Skydiving, birthday, anniversary, 12, 6, 16, 2006, 2001, 2026, 1970s, Billie Eilish, John Lennon, glasses.

Dear ____,

How could you think I'm not proud of you? How could you think that minor thing you did would erase all the love I feel for you? It doesn't. I don't think anything can at this point. You're human, you're allowed to make mistakes. And while I do still think you need help, you're still doing your best, even though you don't feel like it. You're trying and I see that. You're wonderful and magical and although your light is dimmed at the moment, I know there's a bright sun under that blanket of darkness you're currently holding over your head. Everything will be ok. Have you ever not gotten a resolution to your conflict? Trust me. You're going to be fine. Let yourself be, enjoy the people around you, breathe. Treat your life like you treat your dreams. Be as excited as you can. You're alive! And while you are not responsible for this darkness that has been placed upon you, you are the only one that can take it off. I understand it's difficult, but you can do it. You're tired of fighting, but you're not just anyone. You're a legend. Legends don't have it easy. Go get them.

Pile 2

Signs this may be for you: Harry Styles, Fashion school, blood drives, nurse, 😜, smoke, laughter, blonde, blue eyes, "that boy is mine", 0%, Rihanna, water, rain, Hawaii, Jumping, Rave, Cindy, the letter C, N, and A. Numbers 5, 8, and 30, AMANDA.

Hello, it's been a while.

How are you?

This is awkward, you probably didn't expect to hear from me. I have been okay, I honestly can't stop thinking about us and how it ended. It pains me to think that you left with the impression that I didn't care. I do. I did. I just want to let you know that in another life, maybe we should try again. I don't have much to say, I'm not sure why I feel so compelled to tell you this. It's so basic. I'm being channeled right now (ok aware) and it's weird because it shouldn't be this deep but I really wanted to come through and say sorry. And say that I know you miss me and I do too. And one day we will reunite and we might be able to show our love then. Sorry it ended that way. Sorry that was the last you knew of me. I think of you each day, I dream of you each night.

Pile 3

Signs this may be for you: YES GIRL, happy, cheerful, spaghetti, squash, "I'm allergic", ibuprofen, love is in the air, matchmaker, fruits, VSCO, musically, Harmony, dating apps, Jenna, Lisa, "I stan", Twitter account, laughs, pigs, 25, 23, 2022, 2001, 2000, Beyonce.

Wow, am I impressed with you,

Not only are you grown and beautiful, you're also such a good person. I'm immensely proud of you. You're doing exactly what you need to, you're living life to the fullest and I am here for it. Remember our trips to the beach? I miss you. You should call more often. I love that you're meeting new people and having fun but sometimes I need to see you and hear from you. Please call me from time to time. I know I may seem clingy, but I just miss your presence. I also don't know when I'll actually see you next, you've become so unexpected and exciting. I love you, that's why I need to hear from you. Tell me everything, I'll listen. I'm here for you and I want what's best. Come back from time to time. Please. That's the only thing I ask of you at this time. I can't say this to you normally, you'd get uncomfortable. But please listen and take this opportunity. Let's talk more often! I wanna be part of your life again! 🥰

Hope it resonates! 💕

[aira-bu]

༄ anemo boys as shimeji ! 𖧷

☁︎ written as of version 3.3

a/n: i saw some (characters) as shimeji and i got inspired by @midknightwritings so check them out if you want to! (i hope that's ok just dm me if you want anything changed)

sypnosis: shimeji is a type of chrome extension but kinda for your whole computer (i think, it's been some time since i used shimeji) ! if it isn't then just pretend it is lol anyways, anemo boys as shimeji

characters: kazuha, heizou, xiao, venti, wanderer (scaramouche)

disclaimer/warnings: none

☁︎

kazuha

THIS MAN

will absolutely spoil you with work/study tips

he won't give you straight up answers though, he believes that giving you the solution is good enough and that you shouldn't depend on him for answers

but if you're struggling with anything, he won't hesitate to help you

clings to your cursor a lot

and when i say a lot i mean a lot.

but when you need your cursor to do some work then he'll let go (for now) and watch you from either the bottom of your computer or the very top. there is no in between.

he will definitely organise your folders and everything, but he won't touch your latest works or rename anything

loves it when you drag him around the screen with your cursor, do it more!

probably the most sane and respectful to your tabs and apps opened among the rest of the anemo gang and won't meddle with it

whenever there's even just a little suspicious thing on your pc he'll inform you immediately

he'll greet you every time you turn on or shut down your pc

"good morning/afternoon/evening, (your user), how has your day been so far?"

heizou

goodness gracious

mf would clone himself to. the. MAX.

1 heizou is never enough!

he'll let you procrastinate a little if you're tired

but if your near the due date and you still haven't started?

don't even turn on your computer at this point.

the moment you boot up your pc you can find him sitting on top of your minimized empty work tab and crossing his arms at you

anytime you try to open something unrelated to your work he will spam those error messages but with messages like "not yet, finish your work first ;)" or "i'll give your device a virus if you don't finish this >:)" (he won't actually give you a virus)

but when you're actually done with your work or when you have some free time, he will literally hang on your cursor

whether it be him biting your cursor or sitting on it, he will be there

he is your search bar.

you wanna know the whether? he's got it.

you wanna know how babies are made? he'll explain in detail.

you wanna know the average time of how long it'll take for ice to melt inside a microwave at 13°C? he'll find out.

you name it, he's got it.

just expect him demanding a lot of head pats as compensation afterwards

expect him to tease you a lot when you watch any romance.

"if I weren't stuck behind the screen this could be us *wink*"

xiao

he's just

there.

drag him around, hold him down with your cursor, stick him to the sides of your pc, he'll label everything you do as a 'nuisance' and a 'distraction'

but we both know he loves it

he doesn't really interfere with your work at all

just quietly judges you as you make a hella lot of mistakes in your project

he'll correct you though!

will literally jump onto your errors and make a fuss about it

say goodbye to those red squiggly lines when you make a spelling mistake because HE WILL HIGHLIGHT IT IN THE BRIGHTEST RED EVER (only if you somehow fail to notice him making a huge commotion in the middle of your screen)

unlike kazuha, he won't inform you of any viruses

you won't even see them in the first place

with him on your pc, no viruses are safe.

he doesn't tell you though, he likes to keep a low profile and worries that you might panic at the thought if having a virus in your computer

he will mostly definitely judge you at your music taste, movies, anything at all

silently though.

every time you boot up your computer he'll be like

"you humans always waste your time on devices such as this."

but the moment you attempt to shut down your comp he will literally make a 😰 face

venti

mf climbs your screen 24/7

whatever you do, he. is. climbing.

turn on your pc? *climbs.*

open up a game? *climbs.*

on a call? *climbs.*

but when you forcefully drag him down to your taskbar, he just kinda whines and make an "ehe." face

when you're doing something boring like working he'll either attempt to help or just fall asleep

most of the time you can't get anything done with him around

when you're free and have nothing to do though, he'll play hide and seek with you!

in your folders of course.

if you have a lot of files, good luck

when he doesn't get found for a long time though, he'll pop out of the file and look around

if he finds that you're afk he'll throw a tantrum, saying "you don't wanna play with me anymore!" or "you love your coffee more than you love me :("

those are just facades to get your attention though

he knows you love him (i think)

wanderer / scaramouche

it'd be smart of you to not install his shimeji in the first place

he'll rearrange your files, play around with your wallpaper, anything that distracts you

he really just wants your attention on him instead of that filthy google doc

but when you're offline and sleeping, he'll rearrange your folders back for you if you hadn't did so already

he'll revert your pc to its original state before his shenanigans

sometimes he'll rename your folders or works because he is absolutely fuming at the sight of

'actual_final_final_essay_attempt_3_(submit this one).doc'

as your file name.

every time you get a message about a virus he will literally hit the screen

you do online shopping? he'll diss everything you see, pointing out every dislike he has towards that... thing. as he likes to call it

watching movies with him are an absolute pain in the ass

ESPECIALLY romance

he'll openly judge you at anything and everything

just give him a snarky remark or tease him back and just watch him fall into pieces of your control

"hah! your single ass is so down bad to the point you're watching stuff like this?"

"yeah, because the person that i would actually get with is stuck behind a screen."

"w- hey- you're not supposed to- what-.??!"

error message 169

wanderershimeji.exe has stopped responding. close the app?

➪ yes

➪ no

yeah you get the point

[spencereidlovesshoes]

hiya i really love your posts, maybe because you haven’t written anything yet. it is my honor to be your first request.

i’m begging you for a spencerreid x pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader

please do it quickly i will be dying soon i’m 84!!!!!!

OMG I love that!! this idea lives rent free in my mind now thank you you old bitch.

15,6 words.

A/N: im a nice person.

AIRPLANE LOVR

"Wheels up in 5!" says Agent Hotchner, but you don’t hear it because you’re on the toilet. Thousands of alerts bombed Y/N’s phone. Penelope was sending her them. She always hated her.

It seems they are going to Thit Island to investigate a murder of a dog. Y/N was really stressed out, because of the team’s behaviour. They are known for their shitty behaviour on board. They commonly unbuckle their seatbelts, walk around the plane, cuddle together and worst of all, they tend to come to Y/N’s cabin and cover her eyes. They think they are funny but there is a high possibility that the plane might crash because of that.

Y/N really despises the members of the team. Especially JJ. Her long blond hair got caught in the engine once and she had to pull her out whilst still piloting the plane. Don’t ask her how she did that.

The only one she didn’t hate was Spencer. His hair could get caught anywhere and she would gladly save him. She watched him through the security cameras when she didn’t feel like paying attention to the road. She especially liked watching him sleep. He was so cute and he didn’t even know about her. Why would he be with someone as a stupid as this pilot!fem!bimbo!plussize!colorblind!vampire!reader?

The team was lined up next to the plane and Y/N was installing the stairs to the plane. No one helped her. In that moment JJ said: "What is she doing here? Who is she? Where am I? Who am I?"

The team seemed to ignore all of her questions. "She is our pilot, don’t you recognise her?" Spencer said. He was the only one who was not a complete asshole to Y/N. "Ok, just do not get close to Spencer," said JJ looking directly into Y/N’s eyes. "JJ, she saved your life last time, don’t you remember?" "I could have done it myself," said JJ and stormed to sit on the plane.

Everything went well and until Morgan sneaked into her cabin and covered her eyes. Y/N yelped and tried to get his hands off of her. He held her head so tightly she started to feel dizzy. Morgan laughed and said "relax babygirl, I just need you to turn the plane around, we found out that Thit Island is on the other side of the globe."

WTF? Y/N thought. I do everything for this team and especially for Spencer. I pay for the gas and they just tell me that we have been going in the wrong direction? I’m not gonna be able to pay the bill this month, I don’t even have a job! I just snuck to the toilet every time and tie up the real pilot. And that is the problem. I don’t know how to turn the plane around. I always just fly in some direction and hope for the best.

"Hello? You seem lost in your thoughts," Morgan said. "OK, just buckle up and hold tight," Y/N said with determination in her eyes. She didn’t even wait for Morgan to sit down and buckle his seatbelt, she just turned the plane upside down.

"I didn’t mean it literally!" Morgan screamed as he hit his head on the ceiling of the plane. Y/N heard mortified screams of the rest of the team. It was like music to her ears. Yes! Spencer thought. She finally stood up to her bullies. He might have broken a leg or two and had a concussion because he was sitting in JJs lap.

They flew their whole flight upside down and Y/N found some random island in Europe to land on. Everyone got out of the plane, excited to see some dead bodies and investigate mysteries, except Spencer, he went to check on Y/N.

"Hey Y/N, are you alright?" Y/N seemed devastated, she was tired from all the blood flowing to her head. "I’m OK, I just have a long night waiting for me. I have to get comfy on this plane." "What do you mean?" Spencer said and a worry wrinkle appeared on his forehead.

"I didn’t pay for any hotel. I don’t have any money left, I spent everything on gas for this trip that took way longer than I anticipated. We are lucky that we survived! We don’t have much gas left. Can you steal some if you see some cars on your way out?"

Spencer looked at her in disbelief. This poor thing was poor. "OK Y/N, let me sing you a lullaby to help you sleep." Y/N was thrilled. She was sure she would not be able to fall asleep next to singing Spencer. She loved him too much for that.

"URURURURURURURURURURURUR" Spencer sang in his soft voice while Y/N slowly fell to the dreamland...

[jenevawashere]

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats: how about no

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?  I wanted Wanda Maximoff in the X-men movies. I had a vision for it and I might revisit it someday...

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6mwovYLQUxzDlP3bR1L5GS?si=baa885e9c42c4fc9

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that? seven. It has become more enjoyably as my writing style has changed. I edit as I go because I write in chunks, then go back and edit when I hit a metaphorical wall.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis: ok! good luck decoding this shit: 📍🛑🔩👁️🍫

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help? none of them are on here that I know of but Q and S. Maybe G depending on who...

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love: I have a whole list. So instead, here's a shit ton of my bookmarks. https://archiveofourown.org/users/FriendofthePhoenix1234/bookmarks

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?  5 in the main

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis: How do you tag on here? Seriously, not a joke I have yet to learn that skill.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? Original or existing characters.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before: I'm allergic to watermelon. No idea how the fuck that is possible but it happens.

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time? Short answer? Life. Long answer? Also life. And procrastination.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favorite ships or pairings: uhhhhhhhhh NEXT!

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual? shit if I know. Just hang out and say hi every once in a while. If we share fandoms, then cool! *shrugs in idk*

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now: finally having a job, a few projects to switch through, and my cat.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? fic notes. See previous wip related question to try and figure that out

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character: I'm gonna have to come back to this one. Brain overloaded when this question came up

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? recently? (more on a personal level in terms of weirdness) a bunch of information on science related topics. I was the arts kid in a stem class so you can imagine how weird searching for that stuff is.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on: "Be the kool aid man."

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best? My doctor who fics and literally anyone else that isn't me and has a much better understanding of the whoniverse.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity: there's no advice from me. It happens, sometimes for months on end and it sucks.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh: Oh boy! We have another list! "Burn it. Burn the jacket." "A fire? At the sea parks?!" "Hamburger (the H is silent in this context)" "Surprise harmonica" and I'm going to stop listing things now...

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work? ANY! Seriously, even if it's a single emoji, please say something. Kudos can only do so much, and that's assuming I count them.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate: I just spent a good five minutes trying to remember what character I hate. I think I've blocked them out in all honesty.

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told? I have the memory of a goldfish, you expect me to remember that?

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately: I hate Hate HATE gathering basting stitches SO MUCH 

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? Music.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing: what you think is bad, someone else will think is good. What you think is good, someone else will think is bad.

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises? depends on a lot of factors here. Need more specifics.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here: *panics* Have 58 instead! *awkward jazz hands*

Lars had forgotten his keys at work. He had made it all the way to the door before he realized he couldn’t get into his flat - apartment according to Americans. He still called it the “wrong thing,” no matter how many times he was corrected. 

“Of fucking course.” He rolled his eyes as his shoulders slumped in defeat.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username? X-men fan. Jean Grey is a favorite. That's where all the Phoenix stuff in my original username came from. The one on here is a pseudonym.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them: I ask again. HOW DOES ONE TAG?

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them: Cat and no. You don't deserve picture of my baby floof.

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it: ...am I allowed to say a whole book? If yes, then the Scarland Art Book that was literally just announced.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately? Stuff I don't like.

[a-very-fond-farewell]

ok i finally figured out how to get some free time for my hobbies hear me out:

my circadian rhythm is fucked already, right? might as well sleep 5 hours a day while I’m at it. the plan is to do 2 hobbies at the same time, maximize your true productive potential and all that.

can’t do that for drama watching bc 1) I need to take notes, 2) I need to read subs, and 3) I don’t really do crochet (yet) so there’s not much I can do while watching people making very plot-heavy decisions on screen.

I CAN however watch movies and do other things at the same time, like drawing, or crafting. I mean I can do it with new movies but paying attention to the plot while felting is NOT recommended. but I can do cardio with new movies (bad for sleeping afterwards but u know me P: I’m a menace)

now. reading AND working on another project at the same time will be tricky, but I trust my sense of proportion (said the one planning to sleep less just to be free to have fun). I do have some of the books I planned to read on an audiobook recorder, so maybe I can do my exercises while listening to my books. but others are research books for my fics and for those I cannot exactly embroider with my feet while taking notes although.................. no sir, I can’t do that.

finally. since I cannot bake at night bc other people live with me, but I can use the bathroom without anyone really minding, I think I can either watch yt videos or listen to music while washing myself. which, I do be known, it’s not as groundbreaking as it should be, but for someone who 1) forgets baths are sometimes available in bathrooms to use, and 2) dissociates in a shower, remembering to do multiple things at once is a bit of a big deal.

I wish I could go on walks at night but (ah!) being afab I will not try that one, no sir. I used to have an app called Zombie Run and it was fun! much more fun than the idea of walking alone at night in a small village where anything can happen for sure.

ah. also. I would have to plan a schedule for all of this bc I also need to write my fics. which means that I’ll make time for all of these things based on whether my activities during the day have thoroughly beaten me up or not. I also have planned a huge live-reaction to write for a fic I just recently found and that does take time to navigate in a sensible way.

let’s start the new year full of hopes and dreams :D and let’s see how badly I fuck up along the line, shall we?

[mizgrownnonsense]

I have no children yet, but here’s what I’m thinking about kids and media:

0-5ish: No media, unless it’s together or a trusted adult is helping them pick and keeping an eye on duration. Maybe they have a little mp3 player for their favorite songs (music should be a human right)

Justification: I’ve watched so many toddlers fall down unboxing video rabbit holes on YouTube and it freaks me OUT. I want media to be part of our shared family culture, not a way to check out and go numb. I’m aware that this is a lot more work, and plan to put that work in.

5ish-8ish: There is now an iPad, with some age-appropriate streaming services for movies and shows and some (offline, obv) games Maybe some pre-downloaded favourites and home movies, too. No YouTube at all. The iPad does not have a passcode or time lock, so it isn’t a scarce resource, but we keep an eye on usage and encourage alternatives if they start zombie-ing.

Justification: At 5, kiddo should be able to practice regulating their own attention span and explore media choices more autonomously—within certain parameters. The kid-eating YouTube algorithm is still hard-banned, and there are no messaging/social media/online gaming options. This is about them exploring media independently from us, but not using technology as a conduit to other people just yet.

8-12ish: kiddo gets a phone for direct messaging/calling with friends and family ONLY. The older and dumber the phone the better. Some closed-circle social medias (like Marco Polo) ok. This phone will be checked by parents periodically (sorry) but always with advanced notice and a conversation about what we might be looking for and why.

Justification: This is a good age for texts from grandma/cousins and the ability for them to explore the world and be able to text/call back for help. Obviously, they’ll want to send goofy messages to their friends, too, and that’s great. However, I don’t want them to develop an “audience” yet, so social media is out, and I still want to keep an eye out on how people interact with them, working together to recognise and set boundaries around this kind of communication. Checking their phone is mainly to enforce which apps they use, since they’ll be encountering more social pressure to join social media (and defy rules) around that age. I won’t read my kid’s messages unless I have a concern about their or one of their contacts’ behavior, and if it comes to that, looking at their messages is something I’ll do WITH THEM. We’ll have a conversation about my concerns, what I’m looking for, and what to do about it together.

10-12ish: Some multiplayer games okay, but with oversight around who they interact with and guidance about how to navigate uncomfortable interactions. YouTube is finally available, but with conversation about the ideas they encounter there. I won’t like this, but I can’t keep them off Minecraft forever.

13 ish-17ish: Parental controls off their tech, and a baseline of phone autonomy: no check-ins unless something seems seriously wrong; all check-ins with conversation. Encourage kiddo to manage screentime within other responsibilities and goals, check in if screens become a numbing reflex. Only big rule: MAINTAIN ANONYMITY (no real name, selfies/ vlogging, or identifying details) in any open-form social media. Advise them to be aware of social media that gives them a sense of an “audience” and council them to set boundaries with how they interact with that idea (ie: you don’t owe strangers interactions or energy, you are allowed to make mistakes, you are allowed to change your mind, grow, and change. You do not need to have an opinion on everything, especially if you haven’t had time to think it over, and you can/should block anyone who makes you feel unsafe). Here, I’ll also inform them about para-social relationships and how to navigate those.

Justification: god, I wish the adults in my life at that age told me the same. I cannot tell you how I wince when my full name still pulls up deviant art posts from my teen years on google searches. I have become so much kinder to myself since I let go the idea that I owe a vague internet audience my take on every new thing. Even if the internet wasn’t full of people who could exploit your personal information to harm you (for whatever reason), it does you no service whatsoever to put your most vulnerable developmental years under a public spotlight.

18: Full technology autonomy. Hopefully I’ve prepared kiddo to navigate it well, and left the door open to come to me if they ever need more help/guidance. Good luck, kiddo.

Posting for peer review: what do y’all think?

[supergeekie]

Starting My Journey

Happy Lunar New Year, Everyone!!

For those who don’t follow my twitter, I’ve been trying to better my health and I’ve found the best way to do that is to try and get the biggest support system I can and be HONEST with them.

So today, I’m going to start a weekly update on some things I’m doing and welcome any feedback and advice and hopefully we can all progress together!  I’m doing this on tumblr because it’s easier to ramble here... don’t judge me.

So welcome to my first Self-Care Sunday!

So today I am 9% to my goal which is not much but every little helps.  And today I want to talk about something important.

Meditation

Now while I am trying to improve my physical health, spiritual and mental health is a huge part of that.  So I actually make a point to mediate twice a day.  But honestly, even once or twice a week can be enough to make a huge impact on your mental state.

Now I’ve been meditating since I was in high school so it comes naturally to me but there are a lot of resources out there if you’re just getting started.  Some are free... some not so much.  Find what works for you!  And if you’re of the religious persuasion, there are many ways of connecting to the spiritual in any faith.  Morning and evening prayers, centering prayers, liturgical music... whatever you need to get in touch with the spiritual.  And if you’re atheist?  ...Sorry, can’t help you.

In my case, I actually start the day meditating.  Some people jump out of bed in the morning saying “Thank God for another glorious day!!”  But me?  I usually want to lie in bed saying “Lord, give me the strength to get through another day.”  And so I both ask for that strength and give myself that strength too.  I need a moment to adjust to being alive again, so I make it a point to hit the snooze button every morning.  And in that 3-9 minutes I just take a moment to breathe.  Just be aware of my body and my surroundings.  I try not to think about what I have to do that day quite yet (despite my hungry cats) and I just focus on being.  Now you may ask “But how do you keep yourself from falling asleep again?”  Well uh... OK, I do fall back asleep more often that I would like to admit.  But that’s OK, likely my mind and body needed that little extra rest.  I just have to be sure I’m ready to face the day when the alarm goes off a second time.

The second time I meditate is right before I go to bed.  This is a much longer mediation, usually around 30 minutes.  I have a few methods I like to use for this.  There are many videos out there for meditation.  Either walking you through one or just soothing sights and sounds to help calm you.  In my case I don’t use those for a few reasons.  As someone who has done this a long time, the instructional voice is more distracting than helpful.  And the videos cast light into my room which is what I’m trying to avoid.  I turn down the lights an hour before meditating.  I also make a point of turning off my computer and TV at this point but I will admit it’s harder to let go of my phone... but I do attempt to look at the screen more sparingly.  So instead I just listen to calming music (although white noise is just as valid).  I either listen to a half hour playlist or turn on the iheartradio app and put on the half hour sleep timer (the drawback of this is the adds but if you’re able to pay for add free it might work for you).  As you can imagine, I do this as I attempt to fall asleep.  The timer is critical but I’ll go over that later.  First, what’s important is the mental state going in.  I begin to meditate on the day.  Not everything I did wrong, but everything I did right.  Some days may seem like a failure but the best way to improve is not focus on what you got wrong but on what went well and vowing to repeat such patterns going forward.  Even if all you did was get out of bed, brush your teeth, wash your face... whatever successes you had, focus on them.  As for the limit to the music, as I mentioned I do this meditation to more easily fall asleep.  If the music ends and I’m still awake enough to be aware of it, it means I’m having insomnia and I need to restart.  I’ll go into more detail how I do this some other week.

I think that’s about it.  Let me know if you guys have any questions, tips, or ideas and I’ll see you in the coming weeks!

[organizedkhaoss]

Mustangs, Deer Ankles, and Split Images

Isn’t it wild how someone new can waltz into your life, and suddenly, your heart’s throwing a party you didn’t even know was on the calendar? "And yet, just as quickly, you realize that not every guest at the party is meant to stay until the music fades.

Jalen Thomas...I'd met the guy in late September on Hinge (just redownloaded and deleted the app to check the date and realized it says "short term relationship...yikes omg I played myself) and initially he was really fun to talk to! Eventually like most dating app interactions he asked for my number and why wouldn't he I'm fuckin interesting yupppp. But we talked consistently until it wasn't, which honestly was ok (no it wasn't I was devestated!! First interesting guy I've met in years and he's not consistent 🤦🏾‍♀️)

For background we had facetimed before and his voice kinda threw me off. It wasn't what I was expecting honestly. It was kind of white but like awkward sounding so it was weird; and after that I was ok if we were just Instagram mutuals or pals bc???? what was THAT!! But nonetheless we hung out and my perception changed. Im not sure if when I face timed him he was sick or maybe congested from laying down but in person his voice wasn't unbearable. It was a perfectly fine voice. Our hang out was not awkward, I think as people we're both awkward and it bounced off each other well. We did a lot of talking which I made sure of just so I could understand the vibes. There was no real phone time which I enjoyed a lot! It was just us breaking the ice and progressively becoming more and more comfortable with each other. I think what I liked most about him was how comfortable I felt. He's so awkward, cringy, lame, and insane or outrageous but in an admirable way. In the type of way that brings a twinkle to your eye because they're so outward about it that it makes you comfortable enough to do the same. After the first initial hang out I was locked in!! I was smiling, skipping, and giggling. I had so much hope in that very moment that this could be something special, something real. It felt like a connection I hadn’t experienced before, and I couldn’t help but get excited about where it might lead.

The next day I went to his school and met his friends and roommates and his friends were all nice young men but nothing compared to him. I don't know if I'm just insane orrrr but he was the most beautiful sight to me. To see him in his element with his friends and at the basketball game with no shame made me want him more. His skin is so clear and chocolatey. His eyes are like pools that you want to swim in and have your kids inherit so you can continue to love them past their youth. His personality is so refreshing!!! To have someone so unafraid of being cringy and unorthodox is so amazing to me. He made his friends look like supporting cast. But. something in the air felt off. I think even before I left Stevenson, within the first couple hours of me being there his energy felt shifted, but I assumed he was tired from all the energy he exerted at that basketball game. I wanted to have wishful thinking. In the end it feels like I may have overstayed my welcome but he was too nice to say anything.

The next morning I ended up forgetting my headphones, which… like girl, what. I texted him about it, and we both acknowledged my little mishap, but after that, from Wednesday to Thursday, there was no response from him, just constant posting. I became increasingly confused and a little anxious, wondering if I’d done something wrong or if he was just losing interest. The silence was loud, and it left me second-guessing everything. It wasn't until I talked to my friends and family about my stuff being there and him not answering that I decided to go up there abruptly at like 10pm at night. He ended up finally responding, giving me my stuff, and sending me the message seen above. To be frank, I'd only really known the guy for 2 days in real life but I was DEVASTATED omg. The excitement I had about this man was unmatched. It was comparable to when I first met my first real love. Then again it's more like I was shocked but not surprised. I should've followed my intuition.

He made such a lasting impression! He was the epitome of what type of guy I'm looking for right now personality-wise, but obviously, it didn't work out. It's kind of disheartening. It feels like love won't ever really come for me. It always feels like I'm reaching and putting in effort for something that just slips through my fingers. Like no matter how much hope or energy I put in, it’s never reciprocated in the way I need. It’s exhausting, and it makes me wonder if I’m asking for too much or if I’m just looking in the wrong places. I ended up listening to The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, and honestly, its timing is very fitting. The way she sang, the pain in her voice, the yearning—it felt like she was putting words and melody to the emotions I couldn’t fully express. It’s like she understood the bittersweet mix of hope and heartbreak, the struggle of wanting something real and not knowing if it will ever come.

The next day, I woke up still devastated. I rode to class on my scooter and almost cried (I know, dramatic). But as the week progressed, I made the executive decision to give up! I'm so over men! The constant push and pull is not, and has never, served me. It’s exhausting and draining, and honestly, I deserve so much better than this emotional rollercoaster. I’m choosing to prioritize myself and my peace because, at the end of the day, I’m the one who truly has my back.

"And deep in my heart, the answer it was in me. And I made up my mind to define my own destiny."

It’s such a powerful reminder of self-worth and reclaiming your power!

[lushlagoon]

091424

in bed listening to the same music i did during covid, samia and indigo de Souza and haley blais and Phoebe. I can close my eyes and pretended it's covid. im in my kitchen baking and listening to samias fit n full, I am a senior in high school, im driving to the salad place in cool springs or the otaku ramen in west Nashville to pick up food and just get out of the house with my dad, it is winter. I think I will go look at pictures of that now.

ive done a pretty good job of documenting a lot of my life. in high school I had a few apps of diaries and video diaries, first couple years of college I had a sporadic diary and committed to constantly posting on my finsta story, now I have this page. im not ready to look back at things yet. I can't handle it. but there's lots to look back at.

I remember the night my grandma fell during covid, it was scary and ambulances came to the house. I saw her being wheeled off and was worried that was the last time I would see her. I cried in my parents room trying to hold my dog back but she jumped out of my arms, I could never do anything right like anyone else.

its weird that for years my grandmas health was so bad. now shes fine, and my grandpa is the sick one. hes kind of there in his head, hes kind of not. shes risen to the occasion to be there for him, I wish I didnt have covid right now and could spend time with them. im trapped in my room but its ok, music is good and I like typing, its raining and its saturday. its only 11am somehow, im jet lagged and sick so my sleep is both fucked and perfect.

saturday means nothing to me. I am graduated and unemployed as of 2 days ago. I just got my final grades back for all of college. I will have my diploma soon. my dad cried when I was in line to graduate. he couldn't talk. I love him so much, he tried to book a restaurant while we were in Paris that inspired ratatouille but it was raining and we were supposed to sit on a patio. hes way cooler than me. ive been applying to jobs but its tiring and ive been getting nothing good in return.

I used to be annoyed by a lot of my friends. now im not. I think I might be the annoying one. it's better to be the annoying one than be annoyed, but It feels like middle school in my head again sometimes. im so quiet I think, how could I be annoying.

about a month before covid hit, I went to a king princess concert with a few of my friends and my future girlfriend. I had a huge crush on her and that concert felt magical, I had so much fun. my room was set up differently, with my bed against the wall. the room felt bigger. I remember thinking "this makes me so happy, I need to just go to as many concerts as I can". I had had my license for a month, drove my blue bmw, and was trying to get a first job. When covid first hit, I decorated my room for all my friends to come over when the virus passed. I put up photos of my friends on my wall. nobody ever came over, and I think still only like 2 friends have entered this room since covid ended. except for my 18th birthday, that was so much fun. why do we never have fun any more? it feels like my friends are settling down already, getting boring. if I think about it too much it makes me sad, all the photos of my friends on my wall for months but nobody ever saw them.

my dad said the other day 18 is far from 21. I said no it's not, because in my head im still close to 18. but im not, it's not close.

I waited until I was 21 to go to bars and didnt get a fake, so maybe I will wait until my frontal lobe develops to try mushrooms.

i always get covid at weird times, like right before im supposed to go to San Diego. I got it right before my freshman year and had to come at normal time instead of early, I felt so behind when I got there. now im getting it before what was supposed to be my 4th year. I think if everything goes to plan I won't be too sad that Im not having a 4th year.

I was looking around my room at the sign brittani made almost 3 years ago, welcome home andie. I will never be a freshman again. last night I freaked out about that but this morning I can see everything more clearly. everybody has their own experience, I had to grow out of my shell in my own time.

I dont think im good with kids and I wish I was. Im excited for Christmas as long as my nephew doesnt cry when I get him a gift.

I told my girlfriend at the beginning of our relationship that I didnt want her to be friends with one of my friends. I get jealous, like thats my friend dont take them. she didn't understand and now theyre on a trip together. I dont think it's fair that if we break up wed have to share that friend when I stated I didnt want that. and it wasnt like I could stop the friendship, they do fun things together and it was good for my friend.

ive never believed in marriage. I dont wanna talk about it more. but literally never since I was a kid have I thought I would get married. now I understand I will probably have to, but im still unsure that I want to.

im jealous of my girlfriend and her whole music thing. the parts im jealous of, she has something to document, and something for her parents to be proud of. she has a constant outlet for creativity and she has time for it. im jealous she doesnt have to work, but im out of state so, I have to compensate for the massive bills somehow. I need to apply to jobs, and she doesnt like when I talk about it because it makes her stressed. she will be fine, her familys from California.

I am already feeling nostalgic for music from less than 6 months ago. adrianne lenkers new album makes my heart ache, makes me think about the trip to norcal. it was so beautiful. I think I will have to move back to Tennessee soon, and I havent even technically left.

anything by adrianne came on and I started crying, not a sad cry but an emotional cry and it felt good. my dad brought me a cup of green tea in my favorite mug with the painting from ferris beullers day off on it, I havent really dranken green tea since high school when I was trying to lose weight. my mom just got back from a business trip. everything Is right.

I heard adrianne for the first time from Charlie freshman year. I came back to Nashville and got back together with my ex girlfriend and listened to the music with her an entire night one time. im not sure who the song reminds me of, I think more Charlie. its so serendipitous that me and my roommates ended up together.

one of my friends said they thought I was the type of person to not keep in touch with friends after I move. that hurt my feelings but now I almost think that was a dream.

[oranges-for-calico]

okay so I kind of just did a long bullet point list in my notes app, so i'm just going to pick some of them and copy them here! spoilers for Broadchurch season one! :) also like.. source material typical content warnings apply. and these were as I was watching so I got a little heated at times sorry about that

also these might be like not entertaining at all. I really don't know

also the dog ends up being okay so don't worry

EPISODE ONE - i looove the trope of somber/creepy music over happy scene. - i like the detective lady so far she’s so passive aggressive. also she’s returning from maternal leave or something - ALEC HARDYYYY

- “cameraphone” what decade is this - 2013, presumably

- “go down to check it out get yourself some fresh air” SENDS HIM. TO THE DEATH SITE OF A CHILD - JACOB ANDERSON AKA LOUIS IS IN IT WHATTTT

- fucking asshole. of course it was fucking twitter this is why twitter sucks. not fucking cool - GO OFF ALEC. BLOODY TWITTER - he’s a little shit is fucking right. die olly - wow the news industry seems very exploitative.

- “why didn’t you look in on him last night” WOAHH THERE - “why didn’t you” - “where were you last night” OOP - YOU HESITATED

- news lady fucking die. heartless fucking asshole who would do that. i hate you. the entire news industry should go die actually how disrespectful can you get

EPISODE TWO

- cctv footage hell yeah alec - alec are u ok - character trope: you think he’s mean but he’s actually just fucking miserable 24/7 - beth is not doing okay omg - rory!!!:)

- who asks a 15 year old for a light - oh she gave the stuffy back oh aw okay she’s kinda sweet fuck. sorry i told you to die reporter lady - “so you’re snooping on me now” SMOOTH LMFAO - how tf can you not remember your mates name. his story has so many holes - i think it’s a red herring though ? dude idk how this show works - you are not slick bro - why is he making that face - HIS PRINTS ARE THERE HAHAHAHHA

EPISODE THREE

- dude i could not commit a murder for many reasons but specifically i would not be able to come up with lies like that

- “you overcompensate” “i know”

- ur alibi is rubbish - there’s bloods in the boat mark. - eeee i’m scared of fishing hooks. that one time we looked at them in girl scouts scared me - “because i’m ashamed innit”

EPISODE FOUR

- nice to see alec in a good mood

EPISODE FIVE

- they’re making tom act as danny in the reconstruction ??? brutal - i keep forgetting this shows from 2013 - okay i hate the fact that the age of consent is 16 there

- awww look at them gossiping - bro i’m sorry i just *can not sympathize with a man who married a 17 year old when he was 40* - oh—

EPISODE SIX - why the creepy music? is toms dad sus - “i’m always alright” that’s a very The Doctor thing to say

- “i didnt assault him it was a joke gone wrong” that’s not a great sentence - WHY do people get so defensive when they’re being questioned. IF IT WASNT YOU JUST PROVIDE THE EVIDENCE . YOU DONT NEED TO GET ANGRY

- oh boy tom what have you got. i mean you’re very sneaky so good job on that but girl please just tell the police what’s going on………..

- dean lives on a farm haha nerd - wow alec is not doing well

- “he used to be my friend” interesting wording tom

- girl nigel did you just steal the dog - that’s not nice - FIND HER BASTARD DOG. NAEW - NON NPLEASE DONT KILL THE DOG - NINOJIJNNO - NOPE

EPISODE SEVEN

- “you nearly died on me” “neowww” - alec you are literally out of breath pleasee go back to the hospital - i love how alec wears a button up over another button up that’s so gay

- OMGGGGGGG SUSAN KNOWS WHO IT IS!!! - tbh i bet it’s nigel, he’s mean and (probably) killed the dog

- ?? - actually do tell alec i’m really curious - oh?? were you having an affair? - OH. SHE WAS HIS WIFE

- FUCK NO NOT THE DOG NO NO - fuck no. no no no no - the dog is okay as of now

EPISODE EIGHT

- OKAY. - NOT THAT IM SURE YET BUT. TOMS DAD IS THE PERFECT KILLER. HES BEEN HERE IN THE BACKGROUND THIS ENTIRE TIMR BUT. HES NEVER BEEN A PRIME SUSPECT - SHOE SIZE MENS TEN FUCJ YEAH - “you’ve done good work on this miller, well done.” - THE SUSPENSE OMGGG - allllec.

- 59 DAYS EARLIER THIS WILL BE GOOOOD

- SHUT UUUUP HES INTERROGATING MILLER LMFAO - it was indeed joe. harsh though lol - can alec get some proper medical attention now

- and i thought they’d hug - FINISHED:)

if you found this entertaining lmk and I will post my notes from season two and three maybe :3 also I took notes while watching deadloch too

i watched Broadchurch last year and took notes like the entire time, would anyone be interested in me posting some of the funny ones?

[spooky-steamel]

DATING SIMS AND DATING SIM ADJACENTS part 1

So I've decided to make a review of all the dating sims and games where you can date characters I've played yet. (Okay that's a lie, all the dating sims I feel like talking about right now)

This is a review by a player for players so buckle up, I'm doing this for the people! And it’s only part 1 so more is coming when I feel like writing again

Remember that it's mostly from memory and that I'm not a God so I can be wrong, feel free to correct me if so! Ok let's start-

MYSTIC MESSENGER

Story: Downloading an app to 'chat with pretty guys' you get thrown into the chatroom of a charity organisation called the RFA by some hacker. The head of the organisation decides to make you their newest member to fill the role of their dead leader to start holding charity parties again. Will you be able to uncover the secret behind this hacker and why he wanted you in this chatroom?

Where to play: It's a mobile game and I was gonna say 'you might find some way to play on PC with an emulator' but with its game mechanics it's not worth it

Price: The game is free but you can buy stuff inside the app but it's not needed to advance the story, just a nice bonus. I played the game without needing to buy anything

Play Time: A route lasts 11 real life days, in real time or less if you get a bad ending so it's kinda difficult to measure a real play time for it

Love Interest(s): There's 7 love interests in total, including one girl. You can either date the gamer college student, the narcissist musical actor, the overworked secretary, the funny mysterious hacker, the cat-loving CEO, the selfless photographer or another hacker but make it a pretty boy.

Main Character: The MC is automatically a girl, with only your name customizable

LBGT Representation: We know some of those dude ain't straight but it's not actually CANON but who cares about canon? The girl route really romantic and more platonic than anything but she's just lying to herself. You can hook up with a girl in one of the bad ends? Not too much representation but it's not inexistent at least.

Game Mechanics: The app is like a real chatroom, opening between certain hours to progress the story. You don't HAVE to got into every chatroom, especially those at 3 am but be sure to not miss too many so that you don't get a bad end. You can receive calls and personal messages by the characters and even try to call them back. To get a good ending you have to bring as many guests as you can to the party so you have to answer mails correctly but don't worry you can always look up on internet the answers if you don't want to use you brain.

Fandom: Not as huge as back when it first came out but still a big fandom, lots of fanarts and fanfics you won't run out of content anytime soon

Personal Opinion: Yeah I started with one of the most famous one but it's famous for a reason. I love the story and the characters, the mechanics are new even if they could have NOT MADE 3 AM CHATS EVERY DAYS but I mean it's my fault for wanting to 100% the game. Great game, it's the one that got me into dating sims and was my whole personality in high-school. You can go back to it years later and it'll still be as good, absolutely recommend.

OBEY ME: SHALL WE DATE?

Story: You're summoned into the Devildom to take part in an exchange program between angels, humans and demons by the ruler of demons. You have to spend an entire year down in Devildom going to school along with the representation of the 7 Deadly Sins who you live with. Will you survive the year, and will you attract the attention of one of them? (It's a dating sim, of course you will)

Where to play: Another mobile game

Price: Also free to play but since it's something that the people call a Gacha, trust me you'll be really tempted to buy currency to get the pretty cards of your newest blorbo. I personally didn't last long.

Play Time: There's like 40 chapters YET with each like 10 little stories in it so trust me, I've been playing for months and I'm still nowhere near the end of the game. There's also new side stories every three weeks or something so no chance of getting bored.

Love Interest(s): There's currently like 11 love interests, all guys. The 7 Deadly Sins, the dorky ruler of demons, his loyal butler, the beautiful angel and the shady sorcerer. They're all varied and not all of them are accessible from the start but you can date them all at the same time so it's a win for hoes everywhere. There's a pretty girl later on but you can't kiss her YET. There's no route just a main storyline where you kiss who you want.

Main Character: The MC is represented by a pretty pink sheep and I'm pretty sure the characters uses they/them to talk about us. You use your own name but not customize the MC further.

LBGT Representation: Gender Neutral MC = everyone is gay, I don't make the rules. The cast is pretty fruity but never outright said, except maybe for some allusions of the avatar of lust sleeping around.

Game Mechanics: To advance the game you got to use character cards to win dance battles to unlock the rest of the story. At some point you might get stuck because your cards are too weak so you gotta constantly upgrade those bad boys. That's like half of the game ngl

Fandom: Big fandom, not deteriorating anytime soon seeing as the game is constantly putting out new content. I take like an hour every morning to check every new post on tumblr

Personal Opinion: This game is addictive. I won't lie it has it's bad sides and the story is kinda progressively getting less well written but it's not a deal breaker for me. I like the characters and that I don't have to start all over again to get a certain character. The good thing about this game is that you can put down the game for months and then come back to it later when you need something to get fixated on again. Real good game for casual play, would recommend.

THE ARCANA

Story: You're a witch that is suddenly visited by Countess in the middle of the night to find the murderer of her late husband to punish him. Will you actually find what happened 3 years ago and solve the circumstances of the Count's disappearance?

Where to play: Another mobile game! But unlike the others this one should be easy to use an emulator for

Price: Free to play but if you're bored easily beware cause the button to buy keys to progress the game is easy to find and oh so tempting, and if you do it once you will never stop. Also, you need game currency for the best (mostly horny) game options but you can get them for free in the game. Or not if you got the money.

Play Time: Took me like a week to finish one of the route without spending too much money, it all depends on how much if any money you want to spend on the game

Love Interest(s): There's 6 love interest, including 2 girls and one nonbinary person. You can romance either the pretty magician, the beautiful and smart Countess, the charming runaway supposed murderer, the cute servant, the quiet forest man or the ghost of the Count.

Main Character: You can choose your name and pronouns, this MC has no mentioned physical appearance so just go wild with your imagination

LBGT Representation: Everyone is bisexual! Canon gay couples in some routes and the nonbinary love interest uses he/him. Gay/10

Game Mechanics: The main story is just a visual novel. There's some mini-games on the side to get game currency or bonus scenes but it's mostly a visual novel.

Fandom: The fandom is not as huge as the other two but the tumblr tag is still getting fed everyday

Personal Opinion: The atmosphere of the game is amazing. Good story with good characters. Actual romantic female route??? I'm surprised, you don't get that often in games that aren't R18. There's a good ending and a bad ending for each love interest and they're both really good. I may have spent way too much money on it but it's not like I HAD to so it's kinda my fault. Good game!

DREAM DADDY

Story: You're a single dad moving to a new house with your teenage daughter who is pushing you to actually be social for once. Among your new neighbours there are several other single dads who might be looking for love? Who knows?

Where to play: I played when it first came out on my old PC but now you can also play on mobile, switch and PS4

Price: Ngl I have no clues what the free version does but I'm pretty sure the good stuff isn't free. It should be around 15$ on every platforms.

Play Time: From memory I don't think it's that long to play through it? Not a short game but I've definitely played way longer dating sims.

Love Interest(s): There's 7 dads to choose from. You can either have the cold bad guy dad, the Victorian vampire dad, your childhood bro dad, the suburban (not actually single??) dad, the dorky barista dad, the english teacher dad or the friendly competitive bear dad.

Main Character: First game on the list where you can personalise your MC! You can dress up your character sprite and change his appearance and full name. But you are a dad and that won't change.

LBGT Representation: It's a game about a dad seducing other dads, of course it's pretty gay. But apart from that, you can make your MC wear a binder and one of the love interest is implied to be transgender. You can also choose whether your daughter is biological or not, and the gender of your late spouse.

Game Mechanics: Another pure visual novel, I don't have much to add about this.

Fandom: There was a fandom back in the days but I'll be real with you, I don't think it survived so don't expect anything too big regarding new content.

Personal Opinion: It's a good game. Not life changing but it's really funny and the love interests are good characters. I mean I'm not the target audience at all but still an enjoyable game! If you're bored and have 15 bucks to spare go for it!

MECHAT – LOVE SECRETS

Story: This is just a fake dating app, there's no real story tying the characters together, each love interest has their own little story.

Where to play: Another mobile app (I swear there are other platforms at the end of the list)

Price: Technically free to play but it's one of those game where you have to pay so much game currency to have a choice that doesn't suck, so you might get frustrated and spend money to see if it gets better

Play Time: There's no beginning or end to this game, but each character story should last like an hour or something

Love Interest(s): There's a lot of varied characters of all gender you can choose from, just like a real dating app. Except with furries.

Main Character: You can choose your name and sexual orientation and for a game like that I think that's already a lot

LBGT Representation: Like I said, you can find anyone on there so yeah it ain't a straight game

Game Mechanics: It's just a fake dating app with some 'real life' date parts. Nothing much to add.

Fandom: No real fandom as far as I've seen, but at least people are talking about it

Personal Opinion: If you're bored and horny (cause yeah this game is pretty horny) you can go do one or two stories but the wait for the currency makes you give up on the game pretty quickly but if you download this app you already know what to expect. If you're a fan of story-based visual novels like me this is not it honey

MONSTER PROM

Story: You're a monster going to high-school. You need a date to prom. Need I say more?

Where to play: You can get the game either on Steam or switch

Price: The base game is like 12$ but there's a bunch of dlc or sequels to the game if you want to spend more money

Play Time: The game says a full route takes around an hour but it's definitively less. Or not, don't look at me for answers.

Love Interest(s): I'm only talking about the base game so there's 6 love interest, including 3 girls. You can either pursue the typical bad guy demon, the himbo werewolf, the hipster vampire, the girlboss medusa, the life of the party ghost or the tyrannical princess mermaid.

Main Character: You can choose one of 4 characters to play: a Frankenstein gal, a zombie boy, a fire hottie or a dark humanoid blob. You can then choose their name and pronouns.

LBGT Representation: No set gender MC which means everyone is gay. There's also some space prince dude or something that hit on your love interests sometimes? And one of the DLCs includes a trans girl eldritch horror. Pretty gay game.

Game Mechanics: To get into a route, you gotta go to school to change your stats, each characters having necessary stats to romance them. You can also play this game with other people and race them to see who gets who first! Damn I wish I had friends

Fandom: The people know about this game but the fandom is not thriving as far as I've seen. Not a big fandom but it's existent at least

Personal Opinion: Ok real talk this game is absolutely hilarious. Everything is stupidly overdramatic and it's great! Ok there's barely any story but it's not a story driven game so it's good. If you have a few hours to spare to have a good laugh, buy this game. But if you're looking for a gut wrenching love story, this ain't it.

ERROR 143

Story: You're a hacker. You decide to hack another hacker who stole your first place. This loser hacker hacks you back and starts talking with you. You start to get feelings, oops

Where to play: On Steam and Itch.io

Price: This game is fully free yay

Play Time: Like, 2 hours? It's a rather short game

Love Interest(s): There's only one love interest here: Micah Yujin. He's a dorky little shit who's probably chronically online

Main Character: You can choose your name and pronouns, the MC doesn't have a mentioned appearance.

LBGT Representation: That dude ain't straight, and there's no other characters so congrats on the fully gay game

Game Mechanics: Works like a normal visual novel who doesn't look like a visual novel. There's some hacking hangman mini-games but it's not really important to win.

Fandom: Small fandom but for a 2 hours long dating sim by god they are here, I've seen medias with 10x the amount of official content have less fandom than that.

Personal Opinion: This game is funny, pretty and the voice acting is godly. Not a huge plot to it but that's alright, just a small feel good game and for free?? If you like dating sims you gotta play it, it's really great!

[basilly]

pregnancy hcs || irl!wilbur x reader & irl!karl x reader

. request: please can i have fundy pregnancy headcanons- you know who (pls tag me when u post it kiss kiss)

. ok well @losingvienna can not read /j but its ok LOL i am doing Wilbur and Karl

.pronouns: they/them

. mentions a pregnant reader!!

Wilbur:

. he would be even more in love- if that was humanly possible

. there is not anything he wouldn’t do for you 

“Wil!” “Yes love? Do you need anything? Heating pad? Hair-tie?”

. if he’s streaming and you need help- automatic pause

. cravings? goes out immediately for whatever you need (if obtainable)

“Wilbur where are you going?” “The store- you said you were craving pickles” “Yea but you don’t need to go now” “It’s okay, just lay down, I’ll be back soon”

. buys you those ridiculous pregnancy pillows that are like a giant ‘C’

. researches things about pregnancy so he would be prepared

. he will take the time to talk to the unborn baby everyday before sleeping

“When you are born and maybe a bit older, we are going to travel and I’m going to teach you all about the countries”

. and ofc he sings it lullabies- instrument or not

“Wilbur the baby isn’t even born yet” “I know it can hear me- babies can hear from outside the womb”

. will decorate the nursery with countries and things- he wants a geoguessr helper (duh /j) 

. claims tommy will not be able to come near the child when born

“I’m going to be an uncle! The cool and favorite uncle!” “Tommy you are not my brother- I’m not letting you near the child once they’re born” “What whyy”

. would suggest phil as the godfather

. he would be strict- he only wants the best

“No you cant- it says preganant people are advised not to use this” “It’s just a little bit!” “no”

. buys the unborn child lots of toys- including mini instruments

Karl:

. will ask Chris for help and tips

. also the person to call his mom in need of help

“Hello?” “Mom- y/n’s getting back pain how do I-”

. will be super excited that Tucker will have a friend

. will be super nervous he might mess up or miss something

. he is super excited though, he always looks at you, imaging how it will be once his baby is born

. decorates the nursery in a ton of cute animals

. would buy a ton of stuffed animals for the unborn baby too

. plans a baby shower down to the T

. I feel like he wouldn’t care about the gender- he’s just so excited to have a kid

. those late night talks where it’s like: (while he is rubbing your stomach)

“I’m so lucky, I’m with you and we are going to start a family together, I love you”

. goes to every ultrasound meeting, he does not want to miss a single one

. he would have so many pre-picked names from over the time you guys were dating

. lots of onsies- especially character or animal ones

. he’s so so excited for halloween because?? baby & family matching costumes?? a d o r a b l e

. would have those apps to see how big the baby is each week

“They’re the size of a pomegranate!”

. when you have the energy, he will play music and slow dance, as a “little family”

. he loves calling it “little bean” and talks very often

“Little bean- tell them they need rest, their ankles are swollen” “Karl they cant do anything”

. he’s just so excited

an: feeding the baby fever once more

taglist:  @acidtabletz @mayasimagines @salinesoot @bozowrites @kai-was-here @xoxothornbudoxox @kutozume @truthfulsyncerity @forutheworld @losingvienna @luluwinchester​ @cr0wbonezz-wr1ting-inc​ @dreamiewrites​ @a-simp-for-block-people​ @dysfunctionalcrab​ @ella-ivanov​ @akasuki​

and @mina-luv-bot​ for ur bby fever <3

[kulturegroupie]

I think I know why Jimmy doesn’t have a memoir written yet. It’s probably because he doesn’t want to admit to the fact that he raped those “baby groupies” and treated his wives horrible. How he treated Charlotte, then Patricia, and then Jimena. I hope all those women are doing ok (sadly Patricia passed away). I know most rockstars were like this but it’s especially Jimmy that has done lots of damage and also glorified those fucked up things.

Btw I’m not saying that people can’t listen to Led Zeppelin but at least acknowledge the information about them that I’m not sure is 100% true but could be. They were “small beans 🥺” they were rockstars who are technically rapists.

hi anon, finally i get to touch on this topic.

first of all, yes i completely agree with you. this may come as a tiny shock from someone who has a whole blog dedicated to sharing info about him and keeping his musical legacy alive, but boy, if i have to be completely honest i'm pretty big into feminism and human rights, and it's funny how my love for him and my beliefs can co-exist because researching stuff about him has oftentimes made me sick.

i hate to bring negativity to any of my followers' timeline who might have opened the app to relax and/or just mindlessly scroll, but some things need to be addressed - and i want y'all to know that i will never support any actions of his that i find problematic or degrading towards women.

as for his memoir, there is actually an interview where he talks about it, and the reason is pretty much the one you mentioned (basically he wants to release it posthumously, to avoid any "legal wranglings").

this said, i feel like us zeppelin fans - especially the ones who have jimmy as their fave - have to constantly repeat ourselves and reassure others that no, we don't support jimmy's actions. yes, we're all aware of what he did, but i can assure you that if we're under 40 and not absolute fucking bigots, we do not agree with them, neither do we want nor need to be constantly reminded of them as if we're the ones who did anything wrong.

to be fair, i was angry at him for a long time, at first even scared to admit that i liked him and his bands because of those rumours, and i feel like it's pretty much a universal experience for a lot of the zeppelin fandom. but at the end of the day my hands are clean, i didn't do those things - he did.

i think it's important to acknowledge that the ones who are glorifying his actions are mostly cis het male fans, especially the older ones... they're also the ones being negatively influenced. most women and girls do know that what he did was wrong.

...he's a tough one to love for sure. but there is a number of classic rock artists who are fairly worse than him and their wrongdoings and literal crimes rarely ever get mentioned. although this does not excuse his actions in any way, the culture back then was fucked up as a whole.

[tinyboxxtink]

“The Man Of Your Dreams”

Y’all. Y’ALL. 

I was gonna make this a series but then I was like “Aw nah I can wrap it up neatly in one go”.

And that “one go” took 3 and 1/2 hours and 10 pages!!!!!!!! (on GoogleDocs anyway...) 

I went with my “keep dreaming about a man and then you go off to find him” idea.

The dating app one might be for a longer series, idk yet.

But this, this is my baby.

Like I said, I had this dream. Specifically the first and last scene. And ya’ll while I wrote the crescendo, I played Tyler Blackburn’s “Can’t Love Me.” Specifically starting at 2:11. I highly recommend playing it as you read from:

“Until out of nowhere--“Y/N???””

But that’s just me. I replayed that scene with the music about a thousand times in my head, I won’t lie to you.

I hope you love this as much as I do!!

Tag List

@wanniiieeee

@dumauier

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@chasingeverybreakingwave

------

“Oh no it’s happening again.”

“What?! No not now,”

“Yeah I feel it, the pulling,”

“Dammit! No no no…” He grabbed you on both of your sides and pulled you into his chest as tightly as he could, but you knew it wouldn’t help; You were fading, and the last words you hear were:

“I will find you!!” 

----------------

Suddenly, you woke up in your bed in a cold sweat. 

“Dammit...not again,” You shook your head. “No, no no no NO!!!!” You let yourself have a moment of breakdown, before immediately grabbing the pencil and giant pad of paper from under your bed. You had to get it down before it faded, again. The face, HIS face. You furiously filled in the lines on his face you had missed before, and you finally got the dimples on his mouth right. However, it was the eyes that drove you most insane.

Half filled in while the rest of his face was taking shape, his eyes were the one thing you could never quite get. Not that you hadn’t seen them enough, you had been having dreams about this man for over a month straight now. Every night, the same man. But it didn’t feel like dreaming, not in the slightest. It felt very much like being awake in this world, everything was so real.

He was so real.

And so, after a week of these “episodes”, you decided to yourself that this couldn’t be a coincidence, that it was NOT a mix of your subconscious making up scenarios in your head, it was real. This man existed somewhere, and you were going to find him. 

However the question of “How” was still very annoyingly present. Sure you and this man had talked about everything, seriously EVERYTHING. Likes, dislikes, career, life stories--- well, at least you were pretty sure you had.

 Some conversations in your dream world were completely crystal clear in your mind-- 

When he was six and all he wanted was a red bike, and come Christmas morning it wasn’t there. He had stormed around his mom’s apartment having a total temper tantrum until his abuelita asked him to check if she had left her keys out in the hall from last minute shopping. He opened the door to reveal a brand new, shiny red 10 speed bike propped against their doorway.

“We lived on the 10th floor, with no elevator. My mom and abuelita carried that thing up 10 flights of stairs just so I’d have a happy Christmas morning,” He had told you with tears in his eyes.

And then others, containing any real information about where to find him, were a blur. Specific details like his name, his job, even where he currently lived-- they sounded like garbled nonsense when you tried to recall them.

The Universe is a sadistic bastard.

But that conversation about the bike-- it was so specific and so detailed that there was no way your mind could have made it up. No way. But all you knew was that at some point in his childhood he lived with his mom and abuela in a 10th story apartment somewhere in New York City. That’s it. 

And one more thing that you couldn’t shake-- his touch. 

There had been a dream where he had asked to kiss you, to which you happily agreed. He had pulled you close into his arms, his hands ran through your hair as he pressed his lips against yours. And every dream since then, you two were always either holding hands or holding each other, or touching in any capacity-- as if you were both trying to memorize what it felt like.

Of course this still being “a dream”, a lot of the times your “dates” with this man were just playing out themselves, and you were blissfully unaware that they were even dreams. So you’d never think of asking “real” questions like where to meet or something. Only those few moments before you would wake would you realize “Oh that’s right, this isn’t real.” And by then it was too late.

But today was the day. You were sure of it. You had finally finished your drawing of your ���dream man”, apart from the filled in eyes. Only an eyeline shaped hole rested in the middle of his perfect face. 

“Okay, that is just horrifying” You heard your roommate’s voice behind you.

“What? It’s perfect, Shi!” You defended your drawing. 

Sure you had hesitated telling your best friend of 10 years about your “situation”, but once you decided that you were going to find him, you knew you’d need her help. And so, after a very long conversation over a LOT of drinks, you had convinced her to help you. Well, reluctantly help you. 

“Well it’ll be no problem trying to find a guy with NO EYES,” She giggled.

“Shut up, I just...I can’t get them right,” 

“Can’t get them right? Girl have you or have you not told me that you have studied that man’s face EVERY night for the past 6 weeks?” 

“Yeah but….they’re so...perfect,” You sighed-- the gaping eye hole was mocking you. It was like the Universe saying “Good luck finding him without THESE!!!!” 

But you knew, you just knew in your heart of hearts that if you saw his eyes in real life, you’d know. You’d know instantly. You had this-- look, between you. The way he looked at you, the love and passion in his beautiful green eyes.

You couldn’t draw that on paper.

“Well just how do you expect us to make a “missed connection” flier with a demon looking guy like that?” 

“Look Shiloh, it’s a start ok?” 

“It’s not! You need those eyes, eyes are the most distinguishing trait on a person’s face!” She shook the paper at you.

“I know that!!!” you scoffed.

“Alright well...just, try again tonight yeah?” She put a hand on your shoulder.

“Yeah alright,”

----

The next night you did all the nightly rituals you had read and researched up on how to “lucid dream”. Eating certain foods, meditating before bed, repeating mantras as you fell asleep-- sometimes they helped you take control of the dreams, sometimes not.

But this has never happened.

-----------

You were suddenly “awake”, in a park. Wait, this wasn’t just some generic “Dream” park. You knew this park. You immediately started scanning the sights around you-- kids playing and running around, people talking on a fountain-- The fountain. You knew that fountain. Your eyes darted quicker around the scenic picture for a statute, and there it was.

This was Central Park. And not just Central Park, a very specific part of Central Park that you passed most days on your way to work. Could this just be the “coincidence” normal dream stuff seeping in? Just images of your day being played out in your REM cycle? I mean he wasn’t even--

“Dream girl,” His voice came from behind you. 

You spun to face the fountain and saw him in an off white cream colored suit, with a pink tie. His hair was in a coif, and for the first time maybe ever, you noticed him carrying a briefcase. 

“Hey you,” You smiled, pulling him into a long, deep kiss. 

“So, Central Park today huh? You know you could’ve told me that beforehand I wouldn’t have paid an Uber to drive --- blocks.” You noticed the blurb in his number. Wait, wait this wasn’t happening.

“Wait, what?” You were suddenly “awake” .

“My office? It’s just about ---- blocks that way,” He pointed forward-- South. 

His office was south from Central Park, only a few blocks away. Within walking distance.

“What else?” You grabbed him.

“What else? Baby are you ok…?” He backed up one step in concern.

“Dammit, snap out of it abogado!!!” You snapped at him, leaving you both in shock-- but for two different reasons. 

He was suddenly “awake” in this world too, but you had just called him a name in spanish that you did not know the meaning of.

“Since when do you know spanish?” He asked.

“It’s spanish? QUICK tell me what it means!!!” You shook him.

“Abogado means--” 

-----------

And he was gone. It was gone. You had been pulled suddenly from your dream world, something that had never happened before. It wasn’t even morning yet, the sun was barely peeking out from the skyline. You had never gotten that close to getting details from him, NEVER.

Maybe the Universe was catching on. 

You grabbed your phone from the charger beside you and furiously typed “Abogado” into google translate. And there it was, in black and white:

Lawyer.

This guy was a lawyer, who worked a few blocks south of Central Park. If he was real. You sighed to yourself as you put your phone down and went back to sleep.

-----------------------------

And you were in the park again. 

“Hey, there you are! Where’d you go?” the “abogado” asked you with his dreamy smile. Wait, was he “asleep” again? And why did you pick up here? He knew you were gone? WAS THIS PLACE REAL?

“ABOGADO,” You shouted at him like a crazy person.

“...You don’t know spanish, why do you know-- Oh my god,” The man was suddenly cognizant of everything.

“Baby! Aw, baby girl I’ve missed you..” He pulled you into a kiss. You let him for a second, then pulled away quickly.

“Look, I don’t know what’s happening but this--” You gestured around the park. “This is near where I live. In reality,” 

His eyes widened as he recognized where you were. “This is a few blocks from my office-- in reality,” 

“Really? Really.” You were becoming frantic.

“I mean, if this is at all real, and you’re real--” He began looking around the park.

“I’M real, are YOU real?” You couldn’t believe he was questioning YOUR existence.

“I think the fact that we’re both questioning each other’s existence, might be either brain death or some kind of reality where we both do indeed exist,” He smirked.

“God you’re smart, why did I not know this before?”

“...I don’t know, we don’t really get into details usually, do we?” 

“No but now-- oh my god, NOW,” You grabbed him again excitedly.

“Now what? Oh, I love that guy’s suit…” He peered over your shoulder.

“Rafael will you FOCUS?” You both stopped and stared at each other as soon as the name left your lips.

“...I-I’m sorry, what?” He was turning pale

“Rafael...w-why did I just call you Rafael?”

“....Rafael’s my name,” He stared at you in disbelief. He actually looked shocked that you knew his name. 

“Y/N,” He finally spoke.

“Y/N is my name!!!!” You squealed. “This is happening, this is happening Rafael!!!!” You grabbed him in a hug but he still stood there in a daze.

“Oh god are you fading?” 

“N-No, I just...you have a name,” 

“...I..yeah?” You scrunch your nose. “Did...do...do you not think I’m real?” 

“No!” He shook his head. “I mean I do think you’re real, I just...this...this hasn’t happened before,” He stroked your cheek with his thumb, staring at it while he did it. Like he was memorizing the feeling of his skin on yours.

“I know, this is the most detailed “episode” we’ve ever had,” You pressed his hand harder against your cheek, memorizing the feeling of his hands over yours. 

“Tomorrow,” He stopped stroking your face and looked at you very seriously. 

“What?” 

“I-I feel it, I’m waking up-- damn early court time,” He grumbled. “But tomorrow-- er, today,” He grabbed both of your hands and squeezed them as hard as he could.

“If we are both real, we’ll meet here at this exact spot at 3:30 today, yeah?” You could see his body slowly disintegrating in front of you like Peter Parker at the end of Infinity War.

All you could do was nod as you felt yourself waking up, but you gave everything you had to grab him in one last kiss….

-------------

BEEP BEEP BEEEP!!!!!!

Your alarm was yelling at you, but you were already wide awake. Today was the day. Today at 3:30, in Central Park, you were going to meet your dream man.

If he was real. 

-------

The minutes passed by like hours, he would pick the day you have off so you could just sit there and stare at your phone obsessively all day. Of course after you had taken at least 2 hours to make sure you looked absolutely perfect for your man. 

You wanted to look like his dream girl. 

Finally, it was 3:20. Shiloh had come home early to walk with you to the park, there was no way she was missing this. You wanted enough time to make sure you’d be there exactly at 3:30, not a minute after. You held hands with Shi as you entered the park’s gates and just a few yards away was the fountain area you had been in last night. 

“So...this is it,” Shiloh dropped your hands.

“I know....What time is it?” You shuddered with excitement.

“3:29-- you know maybe he’s not a stickler for time like you and needs to be obsessively early everywhere babe,” 

“He’s a lawyer, they’re usually pretty punctual,” You raised an eyebrow. “Plus, if he’s as excited as I am he will be here on time,” You were bouncing on your heels like a little girl.

“Well, it’s 3:30 now…” You both began to look around the area. You had brought the drawing so Shiloh had an idea of who she was looking for, although she still deemed it impossible without his eyes.

“Y’know he said he had court today, maybe it’s further away from here,” You spoke out loud, still scanning every inch of the park. You didn’t know who you were trying to convince more, Shiloh or yourself.

Every second that passed by, your heart broke into teenier tinier pieces. You felt sick to your stomach, you were shaking-- you needed to sit. 

Shiloh came and joined you on the side of the fountain and held you in her arms as the park suddenly began filling very quickly. There was some sort of event happening soon, and people were getting “good seats”.

“Wh-What? No, no you guys can’t be here!” You frantically began circling people. “How is he supposed to find me if you’re all surrounding this damn fountain? HOW?!”

“Y/N….Honey, chill…” Shiloh tried to pull you away, but you jumped onto the fountain to get away from her as the area continued to fill with people, even police began to survey the area-- they stared at you, whispering things into their walkies. They were going to ask you to get down. They were going to ask you to leave. They were going to make you lose your chance forever--- and you couldn’t have that.

“RAFAEL!!!!!!” You started screaming into the crowd. Several members of the crowd began turning and staring at you as you repeated the name over and over again, walking around on top of the fountain as you did. 

“Are you nuts you’re going to get us arrested!!”  Shiloh hissed, pulling on your arm.

“I don’t care--- RAFAEL!!!!!” You knocked her hand away and started screaming again.

“Ma’am, you’re going to need to come with us,” A Park Ranger started for your hand but you evaded it as you continued circling and screaming like an insane person.

“NO!!! I CAN’T!!!!! HE’LL BE HERE!!!! RAFAEL!!!!!!”

-------

“I mean, are you SURE it was this end of the park, Rafa?” Olivia Benson circled the same spot her and Rafael had been walking around for several minutes now. 

“Yeah, I’m sure! There was a statue--”

“There are a LOT of statues in here, Rafa. Did you see anything else in this ‘dream’?” 

“Look Liv, I appreciate you coming with me even though you don’t believe in this at all, but the snarkiness is not helping,” He folded his arms with a scowl.

“I’m sorry, I’ll--” Olivia was cut off mid-sentence by her walkie going off. “Benson.”

“Yeah hi, this is the CP patrol-- We heard you were around here, and I think we’ve got a-- what do you call it, special victim? This girl’s running around crazy yelling for some dude, I think she might be a few circuits short of a circuit board,” 

“Where are you?”

“The South Entrance by Lootney Fountain,” As those words rang out through her walkie, Rafael’s eyes widened. 

“The fountain…” He muttered, beginning to sprint across the park. “I forgot about the fountain!!!!!!”

-------

The CP Patrol had gotten you off the fountain and were trying to calm you down, but you wouldn’t stop yelling Rafael’s name. Until out of nowhere--

“Y/N???”

You’d know that voice anywhere. You jumped out of the cop’s reach and back onto the fountain where you could see over the crowd. Your eyes frantically searched when you saw a man running towards the fountain; from across the park, and then you saw his face.

It was Rafael.

The second you locked eyes, you both just stopped moving entirely. You were pretty sure you had stopped breathing. You could see everything in those big beautiful green eyes you had the hardest time putting down on paper. You saw the same thoughts running through his head as yours:

He was real. You were real.

“Y/N!!!!!!” He finally yelled, making the crowd turn to face him. He disappeared into the sea of people as you jumped down and began tearing through them like mad. 

“RAFAEL!!!!” You screamed, knocking people over left and right. He was sprinting across the lawn, more desperate to get to you than anything in his entire life.

“Y/N!!!!!!” You heard his voice again, and this time it was so much closer. So crisp and clear, just like it was in your dreams-- But this was real. It was really happening. You gave one last push through a group of stragglers to come upon a man huffing and puffing in a cream colored suit, with a pink tie. But he seemed to lose all signs of fatigue as you hurled yourself into his arms-- his real, open arms. He spun you around and kissed you deeper and harder than he ever had in any of your encounters. 

And it was real.

You felt it even more than the most detailed of dreams, his taste, the feel of his touch, his smell. You stood there locked in a kiss for several seconds, while Olivia waved off the coppers and Shiloh had broken through the crowd to see your very real dream man.

Finally, after convincing yourself to pull away from him, you looked into his eyes. His real, green eyes. You stroked his cheek while he kept the tightest grip around your waist, as if you were going to float away if he let up one second. 

“You’re real,” You blinked back tears.

“So are you,” He held back his own tears, stroking yours away from your cheeks. 

“I love you, Rafael,” You whispered, still scared to death you’d wake up at any moment.

“I love you, YN-- my dream girl,” He smiled back, pulling you into another long kiss.

That night you had normal dreams, which you didn’t mind in the slightest; because you slept in the arms of the man of your dreams.

[g0ldengubler]

chapter two~a mysterious night

(*i do not own this gif*)

A/N: aaaaaaa i know i know i went from a really long chapter to a filler, but at least y'all get some backstory to how Y/N feels and thinks! thank you guys so much for the love on chapter 1! it seriously means a lot :’) also, i’ve been asked about a taglist and that was the one note i completely forgot about. i’m unfamiliar with them so if someone could message me what taglists are and what its purpose is that would be amazing! don’t worry though, those who have asked about it will be put on once i get to it, just ask for your patience. ok, enjoy the next chapter :)

Category: fluff

CW: there’s a bit of smut in here and mentions of weed and hangovers, but other than that it’s just a pure fluffy filler :)

Word Count: 2065

before you read | last chapter | next chapter

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You woke up the next day feeling so/so. You didn't feel hungover because you were smart and had lots of water in between drinks, probably because your mouth would get dry whenever you got even more high. You look over to the other side of the couch and see Spencer, still asleep. He was hugging his book bag like he did on the jet when he took a nap. You quietly get out your phone and check up on anything you might've missed, which even though you had a lot of notifications from tweets and story updates, nothing was there for you to click on it quickly and check it out. You open your photos app and look at the pictures and short videos you took from last night. You always documented every party, every time you hung out with another human being, because those moments meant a lot to you. You didn't get them often in life.

You swipe along, remembering how the night ended. After Spencer got out of the bathroom, everything went back to normal, like that little thing he did never happened. You finished the game and then Garcia got up with Morgan and they started dancing to the music that was still playing. They invited everyone else to get up and dance, too and that you did.  You danced with Spencer, but not in a seductive way. You were both being goofy and doing stupid moves that made everyone else in the room question you. You were even showing him ones that people do online and he wasn't getting it at all because he doesn't use social media. It was so hilarious you almost peed your pants from laughing so hard. If this was a sober event would you laugh that much? Probably not, but you couldn't help it. Jj was passed out through the whole dance party and Emily eventually did as well, snuggling with her. When you looked over to see them, they were still in the same positions they were last night.

Garcia walks in with some tea and Advil. "Oh good, I had a feeling you'd be awake!" She whispered.

She hands you a very colorful mug with pink and purple tie dye pattern and unicorns all over it. You told her thank you and took the Advil. "Oooo, pumpkin spice my favorite!" you said after taking a sip. "I had a feeling," she said, "You give me fall vibes through and through."

"Are you sure you're not a profiler as well, Penelope?"

Garcia chuckled. "I mean, when you work with them for over a decade, some it rubs right onto you."

Slowly everyone else woke up and you helped Garcia handing out the aid. Spencer woke up last and as you handed him his Advil and tea, he spoke raspy, "I haven't had a headache like this in months."

"I'm sure you'll live." you said, roughing up his hair a bit more than it already was. You check the time and your phone and stood up quickly. "Hey, I'm sorry guys I know we were planning on going to breakfast but I feel more tired than I should so I think I'm gonna go take a nap at my place."

"I can give you a ride." said Spencer.

"Yeah, that'd be great, Thanks Spence!"

You say goodbye to everyone and thanked Garcia for a wonderful night. She promised that this night can happen again with the girls on Friday night and you were all in for it. You walked out with Spencer and got in his car and drove home. It was quiet at first. You kept looking over at him, thinking about last night, wanting more of his touch, even more than his touch. You needed him, but you knew that it probably won't happen again.

"So, you remember anything about last night?" you asked him, trying to be normal about it but you could feel yourself failing.

"I do actually," he said, "I never knew this about myself, but even as messed up as I was, my eidetic memory still worked."

You began to blush as your eyes grew a bit wide. So he remembers what we did then? You thought to yourself. You were silent again the rest of the way there. You were pretty close to your apartment when all of a sudden you felt a hand rest on your thigh. You look up to see it was Spencers, but you didn't flinch. You didn't want to be obvious and ruin everything. You stayed quiet until he spoke, "I also remember the fun we had in Garcia's room."

To your surprise, you were already back at your place. You went to the back to grab your bags and went to the passenger window. "Thank you again, Spence!"

"Anytime you did a ride, I'll be your chauffeur!"

You both smiled and you waved goodbye. You started walking to the front door when Spencer called out for you again. "Y/N wait!"

You turn around, confused as to what he was gonna say. You didn't think it would be...

"Call me when you wake up, I have something planned for us tonight if you're down."

A Couple Hours Later

"Spence, don't stop!"

He kept going, not going off beat as he made you scream for him. You could feel your stomach in knots. You were ready for him. You needed him inside you. He was making you scream, begging him for it. He gave you a dark smile. He was really enjoying the sight of you so helpless and being a little brat.

You could  tell he was close by his cock twitching.

"Spencer I'm close pleeeasseee!" you beg.

"Cum for me.  Be a good girl and cum for daddy." he growled.

It was building up and building up. You were ready....

*Ding Ding*

You wake up to your phone going off. How long had you been asleep. You slowly grab your phone and see that it was 3pm. Not too bad you guessed. You saw you had a couple of text messages from the BAU group chat, sharing the pictures from last night. You remembered what happened on the way home, yet you couldn't remember  the dream you just had. Shit, you said you'd call him.

You go to the group chat and click on his name to call. As it rings, you get nervous as to what he had in mind of doing.

"Hello?" (A/N: Think of that one audio on tik tok where he starts of with saying hello and then it goes to 'baby hotline' lol)

"Spence, hey! It's Y/N."

"Oh hey Y/N! I have something fun planned if you want to hang out tonight."

"What's that?"

He was quiet for a moment, then spoke again but sounded unsure of himself. "Now that I'm thinking about it, I'm not sure if you'd find it fun. It might be boring but um...would you want to get high and walk around DC?"

You thought for a moment. This wasn't a bad idea, but part of you was kind of surprised that he asked you. He could've asked Jj or Emily or Garcia since she was the one who gave you the pens. Why would he ask the newbie? Then you remembered that he said he remembered everything from last night...

"Sure," you said, "sounds fun! What time were you thinking?"

"Let's say 10pm? You know that park that's on Jefferson?"

"Yeah, I remember seeing it when I gave myself a little tour of the city."

"What?!" He sounded shocked, but he could've just been playful. Why would anyone be shocked at you? "You did a tour by yourself?"

"Well yeah silly, I gave myself a tour the day before my first!"

"Ok, that's it. Our walk around the city will now be an official tour and I'll be your official tour guide!"

You let out a little laugh. "Ok, "pretty boy", I'll take you up on that."

"Great! I'll see you there at 10!"

You said your goodbyes and hung up. Spencer sounded more confident than when you first met him. You thought that he would be the shy and awkward type that would take days, even weeks, to ask someone to even hang out with him, let alone go on a date. Wait, was this a date? No. A date would be like fancy dinner with expensive wine and then either going somewhere after that or back to either place and have sex. This was just two friends getting high and hanging out, you finally convinced yourself, Like anyone, even Spencer for that matter, would like you enough to take out on a date.

So now, you had 7 hours to not overthink and play in your head how you think this would go. This was the time to pretend like it was just something in your planner that you wrote down to do for the day. You wondered why you were so flustered and nervous to hang out with someone, acting like it was a date. Did that little scandalous event you had last night really affect you that much? You told yourself to snap out of it a few times before going into the kitchen to make yourself something to eat.

Once you had your food, you grabbed a beer and headed to the couch to continue rewatching Murder, She Wrote on Netflix. You didn't watch much tv, but when you do it's mostly crime shows, Rupaul's Drag Race, or old sitcoms like Golden Girls. Murder, She Wrote had always been your comfort show. It something you went to when having a bad day or you were nervous about something. Anything negative you felt, you turned on the show and think about living like Jessica when you retired. Moving to a small town on the east coast, writing stories and making friends with everyone. The more you thought about it, the more you realized that you wanted to be like Rossi, too.

And there you were, for 3 hours hours before you took the remaining four you had left to get ready.

10pm-Jefferson Park

You make your way into the park. It was chilly, dark, and peaceful, something you admired about the night. You had gotten ready before, but didn't do anything special. You wore your grandpa sweater with black mom jeans and your vans. Your makeup was your everyday, wings with a nude pink lip. You didn't dress so exciting because you were just hanging out with someone, so you didn't worry about it much. Sitting on a bench waiting, you start to play a game on your phone to take your mind off from running in circles. After ten minutes, you heard your name being called out. "Y/N?"

You look over to see Spencer, long hair and all. He wore a brown sweater with jeans and black converse. He almost looked like he was ready to head into the BAU at anytime, which you thought cute of his aesthetic. He came over by you, hands gripped to his book bag strap, smiling awkwardly but with a bit of excitement.

"Hey, Spence!" you said, waving at him. He just stood in front of you as you talked for a minute.

"Did you walk here?" He asked.

"Yeah," you said, "I live pretty close to here actually. Didn't realize that until tonight."

"Oh really? Me too! I just live half a block away."

You both awkwardly laughed and then went awkwardly silent until he said, "Um, I know a spot we could sit at before we start walking."

"Lead the way, Doctor!" you say as you get up.

He takes your hand in his and runs for a bit. You didn't know he was gonna drag you along, but you could tell that from that moment on, this was going to be a ride; A fun ride full of adventures.