#we made the exact same joke at the exact same time 23 times

[wuxian-vs-wangji]

I think that's going to be the end of the watch through until this time next week. I want to spend tomorrow and Sunday getting the PrapaiSky chapter of my fic finished and posted if possible, then I head out of town to see Seventeen in Chicago TWICE!

[essentiallyleaf]

day 06. dacryphilia. with. karina.

964 words.

tags.

kinktober ‘23, idol x male reader, friends to lovers(?), dacryphilia (that’s being aroused by tears btw), deepthroating, sex toys, choking, overstimulation, tit slapping, basically unedited, boring tags.

notes.

a little bit of a shorter one today, i was planning on releasing a different fic, but didn’t like how that was coming out and had to write this last second. hope it’s not too bad. weepily, leaf.

It was the exact moment you reached the back of her throat that Jimin’s eyes started to glisten. Not the same way they did when you suggested pizza night to her, no, it was obviously a lewder, more desperate way, but somehow still as affectionate, as enthusiastic do be able to spend time with you doing something that she loves. And while it was clear since you two were best buddies in high school that she loved eating an entire burrata pizza while watching baseball with you, it took a little longer for her to find out that she loved leaving cherry lipstick marks on the base of your cock while you deepthroated her, as well.

Then Chaehyun’s house party happened. Chaehyun was one of Jimin’s best friends since before you knew her, you weren’t particularly close to her, maybe she was jealous of you, the shiny, (only relatively) new boy that just popped up in high school, and quickly became the person Jimin shares her secrets with - one time, she told you, she was trying to flirt with this girl that was in her French class, so she made a paper plane with her number written on the inside and threw it at her, but the paper plane “got caught in the wind” (“It was poorly built, just say it!” “Bro, bet that if we built one each right now, mine would fall further!” - it did) and hit the teacher’s back; fortunately he didn’t open it and just threw it in the bin thinking it was a joke in bad taste, but when at the end of the class she asked the girl out, the girl completely freaked out, telling her that she wasn’t out yet and that if her parents found out she’d be dead; they never spoke again. Or maybe she wasn’t jealous and you were just trying to demean her because you felt that this competition for being Jimin’s one and only was a real thing.

Anyway, late into Chaehyun’s house party, you and Jimin started nosing around in her upper floor, and specifically her room, and she found this purple vibrator (she said she had no idea it was there, but you knew she had been in that room before plenty of times - you’re not trying to imply anything, just, she is the type of girl who might decide to pull someone else’s sex toy out in front of you, because she knows what would happen if she did). What happened after she did was you on top of Jimin with a hand on the vibrator circling around her clit and the other around her throat, choking her. Tears were falling down each side of her face when she came.

Jimin rocks your world. It took you a while to find out all the ways in which she does (well, all the ones you know thus far), but what matters is, you got to that conclusion. And you got to that conclusion in a flash, it took one moment. It was a normal school night, it doesn’t matter when. The two of you were having sex missionary in your shared apartment - the decision to rent one together when you’d be in college came at the end of 10th grade; it was already clear by then that you’d have to deal with each other’s presence for a while. She had just had her third orgasm, some tears already shed in the first two, and her eyes were now closed in absolute bliss. You grabbed her chin: “Open up - glistening, I tell you - and look at me. Don’t close them anymore, ‘kay?”

You resumed your pumping while she was still sensitive, you heard her whining because of it. Her huge, fluffy tits were bouncing in a hypnotizing motion, begging to be touched. That’s a euphemism, you thought, as you smacked her left boob with your right hand. The yell that left her throat was the loudest of the night. What would the neighbors think? (What would they be thinking? “They’re fucking. It’s the sixth time this week.” That’s no news.)

Your eyes went back to hers. She hadn’t closed them, the good girl. And now her lips were quivering. Slap her right mound. Then back to the left. As you kept thrusting your hips into hers, Jimin started weeping.

“Look at me. I am so close. You’ll need to endure for me just a little more”

You weren’t lying, but let’s just say you didn’t take the quickest route. You detoured by going back to smacking the girl’s tits repeatedly, and now she was bawling. You took her hands and lifted her up, now basically kneeling on the bed, then wrapped your arms around her back as you pumped upwards into her pussy. She screamed her lungs out, as she probably reached her fourth, but it wasn’t her voice, it was her legs instinctively meeting on your back that spoke to you. And what they were saying was “I need it inside”. You heard her loud and clear, and deposited buckets of cum in her belly. Still completely wrapped around each other, the two of you fell back onto the bed, panting. Her entire face was wet in tears, her mascara completely ruined.

Jimin rocks your world. It’s when you look at her in the eyes that you can just tell. One moment. You were so focused on her, on keeping her happy and on not sharing her with anyone else, that you never realized how good you felt around her, how good she made you feel.

“How about I help you clean your face from your make-up?”

“I think I’ll need to clean down there, too”

Some of your cum was already flowing out of her pussy.

“Shower with me?”

-

footnotes.

i wonder if you can make a smut only describing stills and never an actual scene. experimentally, leaf.

[punksyeet]

- Confessions ❥

Plot: Gianna (OC) has been split from her ex for two years now. He drops their daughter off from visits with him every weekend, but this one ends a bit differently.

Warning: Talks of smut & hefty flirting!

"Mommy!" my daughter calls out excitedly, hopping out of my ex Joshua's car as soon as he parks.

I crouch down and she runs straight into my arms, to which I respond with a tight hug.

"Hi baby!" I reply excitedly, before kissing her cheek. "How was your time with daddy?"

"It was so much fun!" she replies, looking up at me. "We baked cookies and watched all the Barbie movies."

I chuckle and look up at him, still responding to her. "Sounds like you guys had a blast. I'm sorry I missed it."

He responds with a soft smile on his face - the same gorgeous smile I fell in love with all those years ago.

For context, Josh and I were together for 6 years and have been seperated for 2.

We started dating at the ages of 19 and 23, so naturally, some stupid decisions were made - one of which, lead to our daughter Jalina.

As big of a mistake as it was at the time, becoming a mom has changed my life for the better.

And my love for her somehow grows more and more every day.

She has all of her dad's features: his curly dark hair, big chocolate brown eyes, perfectly round nose, full lips that turn into a gorgeous smile, and even the exact caramel-like shade of his Samoan skin.

As for why we split in the first place, it was mainly because of the distance.

As the years of our relationship rolled on, Josh was getting more and more involved with WWE, and the traveling and time spent away was no joke.

From live shows, to weekly matches, and even occasional PPVs outside of the country, we barely got to see each other.

Which of course, caused us to drift apart and make the mutual decision of parting ways.

Unfortunately, our daughter had already been 4 by that time, so the breakup not only confused her, but hit her hard.

Just to be clear, the attraction is still in full effect, at least over here.

Josh is still very much the most attractive man I've ever laid eyes on, and his subtle ways of flirting with me to this day have lead me to believe he feels the same.

Anyway, fast forward to now, Jalina is 6 years old and spends time with both of her parents separately.

Her home is here with me in Savannah, but when Josh is off from work, she goes and visits with him in Atlanta.

"It's okay mom," Jalina replies, setting her backpack down onto the floor in the doorway. "I brought home some cookies for you."

She pulls out and hands me a tupperware container filled to the brim with cookies, sprinkled with pink sugar crystals.

I smile and kiss her temple. "That's very sweet of you, baby. Thank you."

She smiles and zips her backpack up again, throwing one of the straps over her shoulder.

"LiLi why don't you head upstairs and unpack," Josh suggests, stroking her hair gently.

"Okay daddy," she replies, wrapping her arms around his waist.

I smile as they share a quick hug and kiss before she runs inside and upstairs. 

The jingle of the key chains on her backpack zippers gets quieter and quieter, causing me to stand up and brush off my biker shorts.

"You hungry?" I ask, breaking the comfortable silence. "I was in the middle of making dinner when you guys arrived.”

Josh gives me a soft smile. "What kind of man would I be if I turned down your cooking?"

I smile, playfully roll my eyes, and walk back into the house, inviting him to follow me.

He does, shutting the door behind him and taking a seat on a stool at the island.

"So," he begins again, watching me as I transfer the cookies into a Ziplock bag. "How's everything been?"

I shrug, sliding the zipper across the top. "Quiet, thank God. How's work?"

He tilts his head, nodding. "Busy as usual. You been keeping up with the shows?"

"Haven't I always?" I tease, setting the cookies to the side and turning around to open the fridge and grab some ingredients for a side salad to go with dinner.

I hear him chuckle from behind me. "Aight fair enough. I appreciate your support though forreal."

On my way over to the sink to wash some vegetables, I can practically feel his gaze on my ass.

I grab a cutting board and knife, and head back over to the island counter.

"No worries," I finally reply, cutting off the ends of a cucumber. "Half the time Jalina is the one to turn on the channels to watch her daddy, so it's not like I have much of a choice."

"Gee thanks," he replies sarcastically, causing me to giggle.

Comfortable silence falls over the room again, as the faint sound of our daughter playing with her dolls upstairs echoes throughout the house.

"Can I help with anything?" he asks, as I turn back to the stove to stir the pasta.

I think for a minute. "You can set the table if you'd like."

"Cool," he replies, the sound of his footsteps getting closer.

His hand lightly grazes against my hip, as he reaches up to open the cabinet and grab three dishes.

And, as if nothing has changed, I automatically get goosebumps in reaction to the feeling of his soft fingertips against my body.

"You cold?" he asks, walking past me smirking.

This mother fucker.

"Boy shut up," I reply, taking the pot off the heat and over to the sink to strain the pasta water.

He chuckles and heads over to me once the table is all set.

"I know you missed me," he teases, hugging me from behind.

"Don't flatter yourself," I lie, shaking the strainer to get all of the excess water out. "And our daughter is just upstairs. Don't act like an idiot please."

"You're acting like she wouldn't love to have her parents back together," he mumbles, his hot breath against my ear. "And besides, you ain't pushed me away yet."

He got me there.

"Whatever," I mutter, heading back over to the stove and pouring the pasta into my homemade Alfredo sauce.

He comes up from behind me again, his big hands stroking my sides, and somehow leaving even more goosebumps behind.

"Good comeback," he mumbles, and starts kissing my neck.

I bite my lower lip gently and tilt my head back, laying it against his chest to give him more access. "Joshua..."

"Feels good, huh?" he coos sexily against my jawline. "Daddy could never forget your favorite spots."

Once the pasta and sauce are fully combined, I turn towards him and fold my arms. "Josh, we've been apart for well over 2 years. What makes you think I'd still call you daddy?"

I mean, of course I would.

But this explanation should be interesting.

He cups my face, his thumb stroking my cheek and his dreamy eyes staring deep into mine.

"I remember all those late nights," he begins, caressing my ass with his free hand. "When this ass was all mine. I loved seeing it arched in the air while I fucked you from behind. My favorite was when I'd shove my face in it to swallow that pussy whole. All you said was 'daddy please' this and 'yes daddy' that. You miss that just as much as I do, huh baby?"

With every dirty memory that leaves his dreamy lips, I feel myself getting wetter and wetter.

God, the things this man does to me.

"More than anything," I reply, my voice just above a whisper. "But I don't miss being apart from you all the time. We'd have sex just like you said, and then I wouldn't see you for a week, sometimes two. I felt so alone. So used."

His eyes sadden, as his thumb starts to stroke my cheek again. "We were so young, baby. But we're grown now. We know better and we can make it work. I'm willing to try again, if you are."

I let out a deep sigh, wrapping my arms around his neck and playing with his curls. "I don't know."

"Say yes mama," he practically begs, his thumb now grazing my bottom lip. "I've been missing you so much. I'd give anything to have your beautiful self belong to me again. For our daughter to have her mommy and daddy back together again. To come home after a long day and fall asleep with this gorgeous body in my arms again. I love you baby. Just say the words and I'll be your Jey-Daddy again."

Jey-Daddy.

A nickname I gave him the first time we ever had sex.

So many unwanted memories, but so many good ones too.

I take a deep breath before standing on my tippy toes and pressing my lips to his.

I don't know why I'm doing this instead of responding, but it feels so good.

Better than words anyway.

He automatically responds, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me closer, making the kiss slow and passionate.

Our lips and tongues move perfectly in sync as he lightly grips my neck.

When we finally pull away, he looks into my eyes again. "So is that a yes?"

I lick my lips and give him a soft smile. "Yeet."

He smiles back and pecks my lips then left cheek before pulling me into a hug.

I hug back, resting my head against his chest and inhaling his delicious cocoa butter scent.

"My beautiful lady," he coos, resting his chin on my head. "I love you."

"I love you too," I reply, rubbing his back. "I never stopped."

He kisses my temple and rocks us back and forth.

—————————————————————————————————

The light snores coming from Jalina and Josh fill the room as the credits to "Cinderella III: A Twist in Time" roll on the living room TV.

I press the power button on the remote and look over at the two loves of my life.

Could I be any more lucky?

I pick Jalina up and off of Josh, making sure to be extra careful so that I don't wake either of them up.

She stirs in her sleep but wraps her arms around my neck, causing me to smile softly.

I carry her upstairs and lay her in her bed, lifting the blankets onto her body and making sure to tuck her in extra comfortably.

I press a gentle kiss to her forehead before quietly leaving her bedroom, shutting the door behind me.

I head back downstairs and find Josh still asleep on the couch.

I chuckle quietly at the sound of his loud snores and kneel onto the cushion next to him.

I gently cup his face and stroke his cheek, to which he responds with his eyes fluttering open and a soft smile when he sees me. "Hi baby."

"Hi sleepyhead," I tease, running my fingers through his curls. "I brought Jalina up to bed. You guys were knocked out by the time the movie ended."

He chuckles in response and rubs his eyes while stretching.

"I didn't wanna wake you," I continue. "But I know you have to be somewhere tomorrow and the couch might not be the most comfortable."

He smiles again, and strokes my cheek. "You're an angel, baby. Thank you."

We share a quick kiss before I take his hand and lead us upstairs to bed.

Once we're all cozy under the covers, we just kinda lay there, staring into each other's eyes.

"What?" I ask shyly, blushing like a maniac.

One thing about this man: he's always gonna make me blush regardless of the 6 years we spent together.

He chuckles and removes a curl from my face. "You're so pretty, baby."

"Thank you," I reply looking down, my face hot to the touch.

He gently lifts my chin and stares deep into my eyes.

"I'm so happy you're mine again." *Kiss* "You're everything." *Kiss* "I love you so much, baby. And I will for as long as you'll let me." *One final kiss*

I kiss back each time and bite my bottom lip after the last one before speaking up. "I love you too. More than you'll ever know."

We share a smile as I wrap my arms around him.

He rubs my lower back and buries his head into my neck, giving me a ton of kisses there too.

When we finally pull away, he puckers his lips and I giggle before accepting his offer, pressing mine to his once more.

Soon enough, we drift off to sleep in each other's arms.

Lord, thank you for bringing the man of my dreams back into my life.

Liked by uceyjucey, jonathanfatu, trinity_fatu, truekofi, and 74.6k others

giannamacri my entire 🫶🏽

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uceyjucey Never lettin' you go again 🥶🩵

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[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Date Night

PARING: Tangerine x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 1.3k

SUMMARY: Tangerine has been away on a mission for the last week, and is back in time for date night. Missing each other like crazy, you decide to have a not-so-quiet night at home

TAGS/WARNINGS: 18+ only. mutual masturbation, lazily handjob, cowgirl, unprotected p in v, creampie, established relationship. MDNI no mentions of y/n

A/N: this is a repost, bc i accidentally deleted the original🥲

rewritten 07/12/23 - deleted big chunks (1.2k words to be exact) as badly written and adds no context, just a load of waffle

Every alternating Friday, you and Tangerine would have a date night - a special night dedicated to prioritise each other. An evening together, no distractions. 

Today was date night, your favourite day. The same day that Tangerine returns home from his ten-day-long mission in South Africa.

As you pace the living room impatiently -waiting for your husband to come home to you- you see car headlights shine through the blinds, your favourite indication that Tangerine made it back safe.

Feeling giddy at his arrival, you run to the front door, ready to greet him with a kiss and a smile. 

Keys jingle in the lock, and you rush over to him. "Ah!" you shriek, wrapping him in a tight, welcoming embrace. "God, I've missed you," you blurt out, planting quick, hurried kisses over his cheek.

He chuckles, gripping your waist, hugging you with one arm as he walks into the house. "Missed you, love," he adds, dropping his bag to the floor to wrap his now-free arm around you. "How you been?" he asks, lingering a kiss on your lips, blue eyes lit up huge.

"Good, bored. Same old, same old," you smile. "How was your business trip?" you jest, pulling away to shut the door behind him. "Get many kills? Win mvp?"

He snickers, kicking off his shoes to follow after you. "Dickhead." 

You make your way into the kitchen, but he hangs back, sifting through his away bag. He meets you at the island a moment later, a bottle of wine and a single red rose in hand, a sweet, sincere smile on his face. "For you," his grin brightens, placing the gifts on the countertop. 

"You're annoyingly sweet," you smile, placing the rose into an old wine bottle - half-filling it with water. "Puts my present to shame," you playfully frown, nodding to the gift bag on the dining table.

He rolls up his sleeves, adjusting the collar of his shirt as he makes his way over, laughing almost obnoxiously when he sees what's inside. He picks up the small bottle, turning to face you. "Lube? Really?"

"I know, I know. It's stupid," you offer an apologetic smile, scratching the side of your neck - almost embarrassed. 

"Should I be insulted?" he jokes, walking back over to you, standing on the other side of the island, resting his hands on the surface with a wide stance.

"No," you dismiss. "It's, you know... my way of telling you I missed you," you respond suggestively, leaning over the counter to kiss him. 

"Oh, yeah?" he grins cockily, eyes half-lidded as he focuses on you. 

You hum, checking the time on your phone. "We got over an hour til dinner arrives," you innocently suggest. "Want to play cards? A board game?" you tease.

"Mh-hm," he nods, playing along. "Monopoly. That will kill the time."

"Okay then, great," you grin. "Let's go play," you add, walking away - heading for the stairs.

You halt when you reach the bottom of the staircase, waiting for Tan, hand extended for him to take. You lead him upstairs, him holding onto your hand from behind, following after you like a dog on a lead. 

Walking you both through the door of your shared bedroom, guiding him to the armchair in the corner of the room, you ask him to sit. He does as asked, adjusting his groin in the chair, manspreading in the way he knew you liked - keeping his eyes fixed on you in front of him. Gaze lidded and focused as he slowly unbuttons his shirt.

You stand a mere foot away, undressing yourself of your baggy sweater to reveal a black lace bra - one you wore specially for tonight. You're close but not close enough, just out of reach, just out of his grasp. You keep your attention locked on Tangerine as you tug your pj bottoms down, revealing a matching pair of slinky underwear. 

"Fuck," he sighs, exasperated, biting on his fisted knuckle. 

You perch upon his thigh and slip your arms around his neck, leaning forward and brushing your lips over his teasingly. "Missed you," you whisper, slowly circling your hips over his spread thigh. 

You lazily drag your palm over his chest, stroking down his stomach, pausing when you reach his belt. He makes haste movements at unbuckling it, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks the second he's free. "Fuckin' missed you," he replies, voice strained and hoarse against your mouth. 

You slip your hand into the front of his trousers, fingers leisurely trailing over his pubic bone til they reach the edge of his aching hard-on. You make a soft coo, silently instructing him to lift his hips.

A soft smile forms on your lips when you pull his thick cock out of the waistband of his boxers - tip messy and leaking, waiting impatiently to be touched. You place your thumb over his head, applying slight pressure as you swirl his precum around, lightly brushing down the side of his cock.

His grip tightens on the side of your face, cupping your cheeks firmly, groaning and mumbling into your mouth about how good you're making him feel. You make a soft hum noise - an almost moan, rolling his cock in your hand, slowly rubbing him off. Nice and gentle.

His hands fall from your face to stroke down your bare back, halting when he reaches the clasp of your bra. He undoes it with ease, dropping the flimsy piece of lingerie to the floor, letting your tits spring free, just mere inches from him.

Tangerine slides a hand between you, reaching for your underwear the way you did him. Teasing at your clit through the damp fabric, flicking his thumb over the sensitive mound as you continued to make those desperate whines he loved so much.

"Get on my dick," he instructs, voice strangled and urgent as he handles you, spreading your legs over his other thigh - making you straddle him. 

You reach between you, parting your underwear aside and grip his base, pushing his reddened head through your slick, puffy folds - rimming his head around your hole before slowly sinking onto him. Thick cock spitting your insides nicely as you lower down, ass cheeks resting on his upper thighs.

He slinks his arms around you, tightly holding around your waist as you wind your hips over him, mumbling spluttery curses when his tip kisses at the hilt. 

"Yeah, yeah. That's it," Tangerine whispers, praising you for the way your walls work over his dick - like your cunt was stroking him, tightening and releasing with every soft, little bounce.

"Really, really missed you," you whimper into his mouth, holding the sides of his face, using him as stability as he nudges up into you - meeting you halfway with clumsy, sloppy thrusts. 

The soft, sticky clicking of your pussy wrapped around his cock, and muffled moans and whispers fill the air, sounds getting progressively louder when he shimmies down the chair - hands on your waist as he fucks up into you by himself.

"God— fuck," you cry out, limbs seizing up as you cum, your body turning limp above him. Pussy clamping and jolting with your release. 

He reaches his high a moment later, a groaning and grunting mess as he spraypaints your insides with his warm, thick load, your tightening walls milking his cock in the most delicious way.

His forehead rests against yours as you catch your breath, both completely blissed out.

"Shower?" he offers, speaking suggestively, toying with your tits, rolling them with his palms.

You hum, lingering a kiss on his lips as you slowly lift yourself from his dick, cum leaking around the base. You head for the shower, nodding for him to follow, a devious smile on your face.

After your lengthy shower -and some more fooling around- you and Tangerine find yourselves on the sofa, freshly washed, tucking into your dinner as you watch tv - enjoying the rest of your special night together. 

[weaselbeaselpants]

Sometimes it's not just a vibe; the bigger thing is to not divide

((warning: loooooong post with lots of talking sorry))

So recently (like, this day) @starlit-soothsayer made a comment about Sai Scribbles that I was about to honestly agree with because it sounded right to me. But then I happen to see that one of Lily's most prominent victims is deeply against Starlit's reasoning. They (this victim) is adamant that pp:"they not compare a person they don't vibe with [Sai] to a literal PREDATOR/GROOMER [Orchard]".

I get the said victim's take here, both on it's own and especially in relation to the last month/weeks. Recently one of the Lorch critical blogs, Fennec, decided it was a good idea to make a document calling Courtney Peet, Lily's abused sibling, ALSO a groomergooner just like their sister. Fennec's reasoning was shaky at best, vindictive, and stunk of the same kind of narrative Zena and Poppy, also grifters, took about Lily Orchard drama: "Lily's critics are the same kind of awful as her". Keep in mind, the reason I AM invested in the Lorch-drama is I've been worried about Lily Orchard's fans and base for years now. I've been mad at and staying on Lily's case for awhile. Say for Patchworkhearts, Sparky and Poppy herself, I wouldn't exactly call the want to see Lily put away and the push by different types/sorts of people to see that happen as analogous to what I just called Lily - a predator and a deflecting one at that.

I will say that " we ", aka all of the combined critics of Lily Orchard, aren't a fandom of even an exact community and besty buddy-buds, even if we support each other. Courtney, Lily's sibling, got on a lot of different people's cases here on tumblr before she was ultimately mass blocked by Lily's base. I remember. I saw it. Courtney and her story and testimony is a smoking gun, I'd say, in the truth of what kind of a person Lily is, but she's in no way a leader or even liked by all of us. On a personal petty basic-level I disagreed w Courtney over how she violently overstanned Johnny Depp and then over how Courtney talked about their niece and nephews offhandedly. I can't do anything about that, but, I'm allowed to support Courtney as a person without stanning her outright for what I think are her own demons. Courtney is not as bad a person as Lily Orchard because she is not the same kind of person as Lily Orchard.

Courtney is her own kind of a mess. And frankly so is Sai.

Two days ago, following drama from a different Lorch-critical blogger skeleton-bat implicated Sai to be as bad as Lorch and a groomer (no. Sai isn't a groomer. sns also don't do your 'proshippers = groomers' dance on me, Bats), one of the blogs that talking down skeleton-bats unpromptedly said skeleton bats was a joke and a phony for reblogging Palestine-gofundmeblogs. Their words were literally "all Palestinian bloggers are bots and scammers". I disagreed with that, because I know from my sources, lived experiences and someone with Palestinian family that that's simply untrue, to which this person proceeded to splain to me how ebeggers must be scams -Sai agreed with this person.

I am pro-Palestinian justice and aid in getting these people away from Gaza. I've been that way ever since I saw an ISRAELI film strait up say that what Israel is doing is wrong, long before Oct 7th 23'. I don't want to dwell to long on it or the explanations and fact checking for yourself with nonEnglish-speaking fundraisers how legit they are beyond going "look at the way it's written; it looks like begging", but now's not the time. This was my breaking point. I had to block Sai.

Personally I think Sai is a recovering edgeduchess who likes to pick on people first and then can get into the weeds of 'taking down' people if and when it benefits her. That doesn't make her a grifter ala skeleton-bat, Poppy and Zena or Fennec...but I do think that means she's more into the attention of p0wning Lorch, another queer creator, than she is other concerns. I do think she cares about the harm done by Lorch now, but in the beginning and definitely with her own non-Lorch-stan detractors, Sai struck me as being into dunking on Lily for attention. What bugged me about Sai's and that other user's comments was not only that it was unneeded/not relevant to what skeleton-bat is doing; it was that she tried to splain to me, a person who knows gofundme bloggers irl how they 'must be' scams especially in times of crisis. That was insensitive and wrong of her to do even if she doesn't mean anything hurtful by it. There ARE ways to say "hey, don't believe/reblog every fundraiser that comes your way sum might be scams" and there are ways NOT to do that; Sai chose the later option and frankly I see her as pretty racist at the moment by the confidence she chose in it. But obviously, I know some ppl are going to still support Sai, stand by her and that includes the victims of Lorch who are just happy that someone is helping them spread news of Lorch's crimes.

Bigotry is a different problem and a different evil than predation. One can be committed without the other and I'm not interested in splitting hairs over which one is "worse". ALTHOUGH Lily has been caught doing a lot of bigotry of her own, including just now, ON TOP OF being a grooming-predator. For Sai's case I don't think she even compares to Lily Orchard's racism and antisemitism. Sai seems like the kind of person who could learn if she really had to what she said was wrong. Lorch, if she were in Sai's place, would probably demand for days on end that Palestinian donations are inherent scams, that she is the only TRUE ally for both Palestine and then in the next two months delete the post and gaslight her audience into believing she's never said anything about Palestine ever.

Still though, personally, I'm allowed to not like Sai. I can admire her will, I think she's genuinely wanting to help ((she's absolutely a better artist than you, Orchards, stop criticizing Sai's damn art)) but I'm sorry I really don't like her after what happened two days ago. I left the convo because clearly I was making the sitch worse and I'm just not gonna step on Sai's toes about this if that's really how set she and that other blog I was arguing with feel. I'm genuinely hurt; deeply offended. I left. If other people of any other demographic feels differently about Sai I'm not going to get on their case about it. And I think part of the problem is that a lot of people ARE WANTING others to do something about it.

People dislike Sai and the cut of her jib in a serious enough way that they just can't stomach her even when she's on the side of 'good'....that's a really fair thing to do. For comparison, I really love Lindsay Ellis's stuff and agree with much of her takes. This does not mean I think people who say Ellis virtually forgave herself over her canceling are " wrong ". I personally hate being told I only 'stan' Ellis cuz I -"hate poc and Ellis is white so I 'MUST' feel more comfortable with her as a white girl". Not only is that a VERY weighted thing to throw at someone casually for why they must like a reviewer they grew up watching but....wtf!! do you seriously presume everyone who likes Ellis is a white girl? What if I were asian or black and still liked Ellis? What then? Because, if you're at all the kind of person -the kind of Lily Orchard-ish person- to start saying 'you aren't actually bipoc'/'you're a BAD bipoc' over a damn youtube personality that's definitely on you, hon.

I think that was skeleton-bats' problem [one of them] with all this. They can't leave it at Sai being an edgeduchess who used her own disability terms to her advantage and liking- they had to make it a matter of " tolerating Sai = Sai grooming people ". Which was unnecessary, foolish, and deeply insulting.

That's why skeleton-bat, you're also blocked atm alongside Sai. Blocks are created equally on tumblr but you don't need to use them equally. I block serious things like neon@zis and scambots as much as I do people who I know aren't going to listen to me, seem toxic and/or want to fight. I guess that was a blessing since you've been spamming the lily orchard tags with shit on everyone else who so much likes Sai or doesn't agree with you???

Look here- we are a bunch of adult strangers who at most found some comradery with each other over our mutual hurt, pain and anger at what Lily Orchard has done to us or to other people. We are not a fan base or even an anti-fanbase. With those of us who have actually known and hurt by Orchard and her fans, maybe don't insinuate that they're ally is now their 'savior' or that their personal beefemy is the same thing as their abuser.

We're gonna have to agree to disagree on this after awhile and focus on the bigger picture. If someone is here because they honestly want to see Lily Orchard go down because of her predation/gaslighting/grooming/bigotry, that person is your ally in this fight whether you like it or not. Sai is. That's how this works.

If someone says they want to see Lorch go down but really is more preoccupied with her being trans or 'progressive'(phony or not doesn't matter to people who unironically use 'woke' in 2024), wants to see a dumpster fire or is playing devil's advocate for Lily because "her critics are just as bad!! 8U"...enjoy your block too, hon.

We have a serial groomer to catch and make sure she doesn't hurt anyone again.

[tinydeskwriter]

Grammy Night 23’

"I feel like I'm going to burst the seams of the dress."  Y/n commented looking at herself in the mirror as Lamby's assistant finished zipping her dress, her breasts were almost bursting out of it, a beautiful creation made of Swarovski silver crystals.

 “Darling, you are going to be the hottest woman on that carpet.”  Her husband’s stylist praised her  bringing in his hand the fishnet mask with crystals that would go over her eyes and dyed peacock feathers that went on the back of her head. “See if the crystals will get in the way of you seeing.”

“Honey Baby, how do I look?” Y/n turned to see her husband walking into the room, she knew what he would wear, she had seen the sketches but it was another thing to see the final result.  Harry looked hot as hell, the colorful crystal patchwork jumpsuit couldn't be more perfect on him, it showed his chiseled body, the tattoos,  the fantastic chest his fans—and wife—are crazy about, all the hair, the lonely curl... Harry just smiled, the answer to his question was clear in the way his wife stared at him.  "See people, that's why we have three kids."  He joked pointing to his wife,  causing their team to laugh.  “You are a vision Honey.” He said pecking her on the lips, hands going to her waist. “My favorite MILF.” He whispers, kissing her neck.

“Says the man who half the internet calls ‘’Daddy’” She teases.

“Having my kids did good to you.”  He jokes staring at his wife's cleavage. 

Y/n just rolls her eyes, a smile still in her face. 

“Darling, Sue, sorry to interrupt your dirty talk,  but it’s frosting time, and then you guys are good to go.” Lambert came their way with a jewelry tray.  

Before Lamby could start helping Y/n with the pieces of jewelry they'd selected at Tiffany's in NYC the week before, H interrupted him, pulling a chain from his pocket.  

“You don't have to wear it today, I bought it as a push present and also celebrate my Grammy nominations, I wouldn't be here today without you, My Love.”  The chain was white gold, delicate with colored stones, and a teardrop diamond the same color as her engagement ring held by a fig.

The woman was speechless, looking from the necklace to her lover of more than a decade.  It was a substantial gift, but Harry had always been generous, and he enjoyed spoiling her since they’re teens and couldn’t afford diamonds. She just turned around, allowing him to fasten the jewel around her neck.  She ran her hand over the diamond, it was the exact same color as her engagement ring—a fancy green diamond almost the same color of her husbands eyes—.

“My Love… this is beautiful, thank you so much.” She turned around, taking his face between her hands and kissing him passionately, trying to express through the kiss all her love for him.

Harry smiled into the kiss, his hands tightening on her hips.

Jeff came in at that exact moment to inform them that the car was already waiting to take them from the Chateau to the Crypto.com Arena. 

Lambert and his assistant quickly help Y/n put on all the jewelry Tiffany had borrowed them, the Edwardian choker, which complemented the necklace Harry had given her, a mishmash of earrings—a massive chandelier, followed by a dainty stud, and diamond hoops—in all of her ear piercings, a beautiful Art Deco bracelet mixed with the colorful collection of  tennis bracelets Y/n wore to mark every Mother's Day since the birth of her eldest son. 

On her fingers she preferred to go with her usual rings. 

 Her engagement ring and wedding band were the only rings on her left hand.  While on the right she wore the same 'S' as H on her little finger, a delicate 'H' in colored diamonds, infinity bands of different stones, and a vintage solitaire on her index finger—a Christmas present the kids had picked out with Grandma Anne —.

Lambert's assistant helped her on with her shoes—high-heeled Mary Janes from Gucci—while she was held by both Harrys to keep her balance.

As they were rushed to the car by Jeff, Y/n remembered to turn around and ask someone to remember to pack her breast pump along with the rest of their outfits.

In the car, to try and ease Harry's anxiety, they video-phoned the children—who were being watched by Gemma and Anne—Primrose answered their grandmother's cell phone, dressed in a bear onesies that made her look like a teddy bear, showing the TV room to her parents and the snacks gran-gran made, auntie Gemma sitting in the couch  with a sleeping  baby Bluebell, the three months old dressed just like her big sister.  Otto was in the bathroom according to Prim who was chattering non-stop making Harry smile more relaxed.

It always warmed Y/n’s heart that nothing could make H as happy and relaxed as their babies. 

They said goodbye to their daughter when the car stopped in front of the arena, Y/n handing over the phone to Jeff to keep. Harry get out of the car first and waits in the doorway to help his wife out and supports her from behind as they make the slightly uneven path between the car and the carpet, his right hand firmly on her right while his left hand was firmly on her hip, and she held his wrist for more balance.  The couple made their way under the screams of fans and the flash of cameras.

It was only when they were already at a certain point on the carpet that Harry placed himself next to his wife and the two started to walk hand in hand.  They stops for photos along the way, but don't do any interviews, heading straight for the cocktail area. The couple interacted with acquaintances and friends, especially those they hadn't seen in a while. The last two and a half years have been crazy, Fine Line, Covid 19, quarantine with two young children, Pleasing, Harry filming and premieres, Harry’s House, Love on Tour and a new baby.  They were busy and it seemed like they rarely had time for their friends, as all their free time was being spent with the little  family they had created together. 

Both changed clothes in Harry's designated dressing room before heading to their seats—crystal outfits were cute but impractical when you have to sit for hours, Harry donned a Gucci suit costume made for him, while Y/n wore a silver sequin  Markarian gown matching Harry's shirt. The couple certainly looks gorgeous, always matching theirs outfits in subtle ways.

They have their hands clasped together, she holding his hands so he wouldn’t pick on his cuticles, Harry is quieter than usual allowing Y/n to take the lead and interact with other people—which, having been married to him for nearly eight years, and knowing him since she was born, she could tell it was a sign of nervousness. 

She whispered to him how amazing the album was and that he didn't need the validation that it was a little golden gramophone for the world to know that.

Nervousness turns to euphoria when Harry becomes the first winner of the night, taking the award for best pop album. 

Y/n didn't even hear Jennifer Lopez's introductory speech, her eyes focused on Harry's handsome profile.  

Y/n is the first to his feet when he hears Harry's name being screamed by J.Lo, applauding his husband energetically, the smile on Harry's face is blinding, he takes his wife's face between his hands and kisses her, before continuing to be hugged and greeted by people around the table and nearby. She has tears in her eyes, which the cameras make a point of showing when they zoom in on her at the exact moment when Harry on stage dedicates the award to his wife for being his muse and inspiration.

One of the highlights of the night for the couple was without a doubt the fact that Y/n had been invited to present the performance of 'As It Was'.  

In a gold-metal mesh top and long skirt, showing off her midriff, the woman who had become famous at fifteen as Harry Styles' 'best friend' took the stage flanked by her two eldest children, seven-year-old Otto, dressed in a pink suit and beige turtleneck by Gucci and a crochet daisy bucket hat covering his curls, and adorable four-year-old Primrose, twining with her brother in a blue Gucci suit, her curls adorned by a huge crystal bow.

“Many of you fell in love with the next artist to perform here tonight in 2011 when he became one of the members of one of the biggest boy bands in history, he has been delivering hits ever since, amassing fans around the world, and delighting hearts with his music, he is an icon, a sex symbol, and one of the greatest musicians of our time, but for us he is simply the greatest husband and father, it is with immense pleasure that I am here tonight, with our two eldest children, to introduce one of the most authentic, generous, kind artists on the planet, the love of my existence, here, to delight us with his Grammy-nominated song 'As It Was', my husband and father of my children,” She lowered the microphone, allowing the two children to squeal excitedly into the device, “Harry Styles!”  

And for the first time in a live performance Primrose was present to say the already famous: ‘Come on Daddy! We wanna say good night to you!' driving the audience crazy.

Y/n and the kids made their way to their table dancing to her husband’s song, the mother of three splitting her attention between walking in her heels and looking where the kids were going, Otto made a short stop dancing with Taylor Swift, and saying something to her that made the singer throw her head back laughing. Y/n greeted Taylor with kisses on the cheek before redirecting her son to their table.  

An extra chair was brought over for Otto—who was at the next table greeting Lizzo and Adele.

Prim sat in Harry's chair waiting for daddy, and Y/n wouldn't even insist that the little girl sit on her lap, as she knew she couldn't compete with her husband when it came to their children. When they least expected it, Harry was back, in his Gucci suit—and not in what Otto was referring to as ‘daddy bedazzled Chewbacca costume’.

"Surprise!"  Y/n sings to her husband as he lifts their daughter up, making the little girl giggle, and sat with her on his lap, kissing their daughter's cheek, and fist bumping their son.

It was a surprise she had been planning for over a week, at times she was afraid someone would let it out, especially Prim, who was known in the family for not being able to keep secrets—just like her daddy.

“Thank you, Honey Baby.” He thanked his wife with a peck, his whole face lit up with the appearance of the children. “You look godly.” Harry  complimented her, eyes roaming all over the outfit, he knew what a big step it was for his wife to wear something so daring after three pregnancies, despite her beautiful body—especially in his eyes—Y/n was insecure about her stretch marks.

“Thank you, my life.” She pulled his hand to hers and kissed the back of his hand. 

They watched the awards half-heartedly, at every turn Otto and Prim brought their parents' attention to them with funny anecdotes, and Y/n was having to keep a hand on their son's shoulder to make sure the boy didn't wander off. The family of four cheered when Lizzo was announced as the winner of Song of the Year, Otto ran with open arms to the honorary auntie congratulating her for the award, he didn't even care that 'daddy' had lost, auntie Lizzo had won! 

With every moment that passed, anxiety rose, Y/n was confident in her husband’s album—the album she had inspired—, while Harry was sure Album of the Year was between Beyonce and Bad Bunny. 

She shook Harry's hand as Noah Trevor took the stage to announce the final awards of the night, asking fans of the nominees to join him, when the comedian asked Harry's fan to read the name on the envelope, Harry broke down with gratefulness, disbelieve, joy…

 Prim clung to her father's neck screaming that he had won. 

 Y/n stood up applauding her husband, Otto hugging his mother's hips showing his father’s  twin smile, dimples and all. 

 Harry got to his feet after composing himself, smiling Primrose hanging on his neck with  her legs curled around his hips. 

Harry kissed his wife with a huge smile, ruffled his son's curls, hugged Jeff, Tyler and Tom, Lizzo, who filmed everything excited.  The singer took the stage with his children and their two producers, he put Prim on the floor so he could hug his fan and accept his award, Primrose and Otto hugging him on either side.

“Shit…well, shit.”  He looked at his children. “Sorry kids.”

H was speechless, Y/n could see it from a distance.

Jeff wrapped a arm around her when she started to tear up. 

Harry was so humbled and grateful, and this was such a huge moment in his career, and she was so proud of the man she had married.  The boy from Holmes Chapel who worked in a bakery and always came to pick her up with cupcakes in his hands and flowers he had picked from the neighbor's garden. Her husband was a three times Grammy Award winner, and he had just owned the biggest award of the night.  

The woman frowned as she heard people in the audience yelling negativity at her husband, how Beyonce should have won and some yelling at him to get off the stage. 

 This was his moment, it wasn't his choice to win, two thousand of his peers had voted and chosen him, chosen Harry's House as the best Album. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but you don't have to be an asshole. 

 Treat People With Kindness. 

 She was happy to see Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Shania, Lizzo, H.E.R and Adele giving him a standing ovation, and hearing his shaken speech.  

He once again dedicated it to her and their kids, calling them ‘his home’. Y/n quickly joined her husband backstage, arms going around Harrys’s neck, as his hands found her hips. The couple smiled at each other before kissing passionately, his team applauding the moment. 

“I’am so proud of you, My Life.” She held his face in her hands. “You did it! You put out an amazing album, delivered a killer tour, 2022 was your year, and you deserved that Album of the Year award!” She states brushing his nose with hers, a huge smile on her face before kissing him again.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

My IRL ex who lives abroad now is dating my online friend who also lives there and I am deceiving them, AITA?

All of us are Asian, 29. Fake names are used.

My ex (Fred) was my childhood best friend, we grew up together in the same conservative society, people expected to see us marry since we were kids, all that jazz. At 18, we both moved away and kept up LDR. Moving meant big changes of course, I was in a huge city and I had internet access for the first time. I became a BTS fan in 2013, I started creating and reading a lot. I joined tumblr, made friends from all over the world. I was being radicalized rapidly, and I figured out I was bi too. My world was suddenly a million times bigger.

He however, didn't change much. He was scientific minded unlike most people here and his friends were all STEM kids but they were still functionally right leaning. He was racist when it came to BTS or East Asians in general. He was ignorant and happy to ignore queer existence, he used to say things like queer people needed to be shown the right path. We were turning out to be quite the opposites. Eventually we broke up. He was heartbroken, he tried to drag me back in many times and I avoided him like plague. I managed to ditch him completely when we were about 23. He left for USA to study.

Around the same time I befriended one of my closest online friends, Daphne. We lived in the same state but she was always traveling so we never got to meet. We're both hellsite veterans and keep our identities under lock & key so we don't know our real names or exact place of work, but we know each other's deepest kinks and childhood traumas, and stories about our exes. We both had the same kind of interests, politics, and fandoms, we're both bisexual. I've also come out as a trans man a few years ago and I go by a masculine name online, can't transition IRL. Daphne's known me since my girl era. Daphne left for USA last year for her Masters.

Now the wild part, by some twist of fate, Daphne met Fred who's also working on his Masters in an adjacent field. It is by no means a niche subject and USA is the fourth largest country, they still found each other. He sang in our first language at some party, he's very hot, and... he's into BTS like her. Wild. So they're now dating.

They started following each other on twitter and he followed a bunch of her friends including Me! We have exchanged pleasantries and while on his account he has his real name and location, mine is a mixed bag account with my fake name and my (sfw) queer creations all over it.

I know who He is but he doesn't know who I am, he thinks I'm just one of Daphne's dudes, and Daphne doesn't know that she's dating my ex who she had promised to drop into the Challenger's Deep (joke). My reasoning for hiding the truth is-- It's still not safe for me to be out IRL and he can mess it up. I remember his bigotry, I hate him, I have every right to avoid him and here that means not revealing my identity. But it's been years so maybe he has changed, and Daphne is my friend. So, I feel like a massive ahole for not telling her at least. At the same time she really did hate my racist homophobic right leaning ex a lot, so knowing the truth will make things awkward and I don't want to lose my friend.

So, there you have it. AITA?

BTW, no I'm not into BTS ships or reader insert fantasies, that's not what I create. I know someone would ask about it so there. I'm also Not attracted to Daphne, if I was I'd have asked her out straight away, I don't play around about my crushes.

What are these acronyms?

[beemers-hell]

eb could solve the kira case AND figure out the death note...and yet you joke all the time about eb being stupid as bricks 🤨 what is the truth you're hiding from us!!

ok ok LISTENNN i joke about eb being a dumbass a lot but that's a bit hyperbolic, she's not dumb as bricks or anything. She's not very academically smart, she IS socially/street smart though. Like, her main gig is literally being an untraceable killer, you can't be stupid and make mistakes when you're doing some shit like that yknow? So she's definitely got The Brains but her brains are more hardwired towards being a sneaky ass son of a bitch and conniving little shit! She's very good at making things go her way and most of the time that's a direct result of her meddling with either people/the circumstances she's been dealt, so she at least has to be brainy enough to socially engineer that kinda thing.

Anyway anyway, I explained this to my friends when we were making the tierlist last night, but basically my reasoning for "she can solve the kira case" is that she would absolutely be able to make it through each stage of the initial investigation into kira bc, like, yanno, it takes a criminal to know how a criminal operates right. And also, you know the crazy mind games bullshit L plays with Light and eventually Higuchi? Eb can totally do some bullshit like that, That's usually how she gets in her target's heads and tricks them into admitting their crimes before she kills them. So I think once they progress far enough into the investigation where it's mainly just L pulling his mind game bullshit tactics Eb could do that shit easy peasy, and eventually trap Kira into revealing themself

Now, the "could figure out the Deathnote" part comes purely bc Eb has that autism superpower™ of being able to read vibes and accurately vibe check people, so I think if she just goes off vibes she'd be able to intuit the mechanics of the death note the same way L's autistic ass intuits his justification for why he correctly identified Light as Kira and held onto it despite him having no real actual tangible evidence for it ykwim. Like it would absolutely make sense for Eb to be pulling the same bullshit but correct leaps of logic as L does bc that's just Normal for her, so her just knowing how Kira kills and then seeing that moment in ep 23 when Higuchi is caught on surveillance using the deathnote to try and kill Matsuda bc hes fallen for the sting operation trap, she'd immediately be like "oh its that thats the murder tool" lmao

also hey did you know i made an entire 20 minute video ranting about that exact scene bc it pisses me off so much LMAO

[countrymusiclover]

23 - The Bonds of Family

Part 24

Gemini Runaway

Tag list ask to be added @dragonixfrye @secretdreamlandmentality

Fingers running through my hair was what made me start to wake up. Rubbing my eyes it was morning now and everything started coming back to me in my mind where a huge smile masks my face without even needing to look over at the man laying beside me. "Now I wonder who's bringing such a look to those lips."

Rolling on my side to face him I see he's mirroring the exact same smirk. The sunlight brightens his knotted blonde hair when he wraps his arms around my bare back tugging me forward so I'm pressed to his bare chest. "I didn't hurt you too bad last night did I, Rae?"

"It was more than I thought it would be but no you didn't hurt me at all. Although I can only imagine Caroline will be insisting on knowing whether or not we slept together. But I don't really have any interest in leaving this bed for a while. Considering we both escaped death and all." Leaning forward I kiss him suddenly and he flips me onto my back making me gasp. He smirked, kissing me slowly, my fingers knotting themselves into his hair making him moan against me.

The blankets started to fall until the bedroom door burst open by Rebekah. "Don't start that again. Kol and I can't take your annoyance!" I shriek burying my body under the covers blushing deeply when I peaked over the covers.

Klaus falls back on his side of the bed with a scowl on his face. "Dear sister, whatever made you so mad this morning. I'm only trying to spend time with my love."

Rebekah crossed her arms over her chest wanting to wipe the smirk off her brother's face. "Nik I understand and love Raelyn. But did the two of you have to make such a ruckus last night!"

She throws her arms up raising her voice to which Nik jokes. "So you're upset about us but everyone in Mystic Falls is free to hear you're shouting."

I smack his chest with my right hand blushing as I remember the events of last night. "Sorry Bex...I'm just...that was my first time with anyone."

Klaus leans forward nuzzling his head in the crook of my neck. "I don't mind making love to you, my dear Rae."

Seconds later Kol vamps inside our bedroom leaning on the bed and I clutched the blankets up over my chest. "Raelyn darling, could you please not cry my brother's name. I thought I'd have to bang on the wall with my baseball bat."

Klaus sits up aiming his finger towards the door not wanting to talk anymore. "Can you two leave now. Before I threaten to dagger you." His eyes glowed gold watching Rebekah leave, closing the door.

Kol remained in his spot seeing my brother's necklace around my neck reminding me of something we first talked about. "Have you turned that necklace into a tailsment yet. Word on the streets is that you have consumed more of my mothers magic and it is slowly killing you."

"But now she's linked to me. A ring that keeps her alive, now leave brother before I kick you out of my house!" He threatened him with a deep growl in his throat until I intertwined our hands together.

Running a hand through my hair I spoke towards the younger Mikaelson brother. "No I haven't. I'm not quite sure there is an object on earth that can handle all that power. I mean that's why there are black veins on my arms for a reason."

"We won't know unless we try and since you are bond to my brother as you say then you shouldn't die during the transfer. I'm free today if you'd like to give it a shot." Kol suggested getting up to his feet leaving the room closing the door behind him. "Use protection, Nik."

"Now where are we, little siphon queen?" He rolls over hovering above me smirking. He pressed his lips deeply to mine and I moaned, feeling his freehand run up my spine.

"Nik, we can't...you heard them..." He flips us over so I'm laying on top of him my hair tousled everywhere.

"I don't care, Rae. I love you and I want everyone to know it." He smiled lovingly, twirling pieces of my hair between his fingers.

Biting my lip I tilt my head smirking until I pull his head back down to mine, running my fingers through his already messy locks until I whisper in his ear.. "You know Nik, I think you're right. The reality is....They are jealous of how much fun we're having."

Klaus traces his fingers up and down my back, smirking. "That's my queen ." Wrapping my arms around his neck I pressed my lips hungrily to his and he kissed back making the bed move.

"I will separate you two if you don't stop!" Rebekah hollers from the living room making us chuckle finally getting dressed so Kol could help me with magic.

Throwing my hair up into a ponytail I found Kol sitting in one of the living rooms on the couch. On the table he had the white oak stake laying at his feet where Klaus and I paused in our steps, surprised to see that weapon. "Where on the bloody earth did you find that, brother?"

"It's the one from Alaric I found abandoned in a warehouse. I decided we needed to keep it tucked away and so I brought it here." He explained getting to his feet holding it out to me.

"How exactly is this supposed to help me deal with the dark magic inside me?" I asked him, eyeing the weapon.

Kol lowered his hand twirling it in his hands walking up to me smirking lightly. "Simple. You are a siphoner witch. You took the dark magic and now you can just transfer it into this stake. Then Nik can bury the weapon wherever he sees fit."

"And what about my necklace. Does the same thing apply there. I mean I am all new to this sort of magic." I shrugged my shoulders wrapping my arms around myself wearing one of Nik's Henleys and some blue jeans.

Klaus nodded leaning in the doorway with his hands behind his back together. "We aren't doing any spell on a hope and pray, Kol. Is what I would have said before we managed to link ourselves together. Now we have a better shot, Raelyn."

Nodding my head I opened my palm waiting for the stake. "Give me the stake then." He placed it in my hands where I held it in both of my hands, wincing the second by the amount of power inside of the stake.

"Raelyn.." Klaus vamped forward seeing me cry a little.

Gasping through the pain I bared my teeth down focusing on the spell. "Don't...I'm fine. There's just a lot more magic in here than I think is in my veins." The veins on my arms begin to move further up my arms with my heart skipping a fast beat.

"Siphon me before it kills you." He held out his hand but I shook my head. I fought knowing that if it infected him it would kick him and we would both be dead.

Tightly gripping the stake in my fingers I huffed chanting under my breath feeling both  Mikaelson's watching me as I did so. "Magia tollux de terras......Magia tollux de terras. Magia tollux de terras......Magia tollux de terras - ahhh!" I dropped the stake on the ground feeling something racing towards my heart.

"Rae, what happened. Tell us what happened, darling." Klaus grabbed my shoulders putting one hand on my lower back tracing circles until I calmed down.

Slowly regaining my breath I lowered myself to my knees and he followed me until we were sitting on the wooden floor. "I can't transfer it. The magic inside of it. It's...it's too much. It burns to hold the stake even. I'm sorry, Nik."

"Hey, hey, it's not your fault love. It's not your fault. We will find another way. I promise you and I together will figure this out." He declares where our eyes met feeling him run his fingers through my hair.

Shaking my head I sniff grasping his hand in mine. "How are we gonna do that, Nik. I mean what if there is no solution or what if my uncle comes and discovers that I am a threat and puts me in a prison world like my cousin Jo's brother?"

"Hush Raelyn." He placed a finger to my lips, cutting me off. "Only one of us needs to be paranoid all the time and it most certainly shouldn't be you. Now you are the strongest person I have ever seen so let's put your magic inside your necklace. As a way to honor your brother Jacob. Then we will find a solution for another day."

Nodding my head Kol extends his hand to help me up. "You can Channel my energy for the transfer spell, Raelyn."

"Alright here it goes I guess." Reaching behind my neck I unclasped the lock holding the chain in my hands staring at the necklace longingly. The blue jewelry getting brighter when the light hit it just right when I recalled the night I actually gave it to him.

Thunder roared against our house while I could hear Jaocb tossing and turning in his bed with us only being the age of ten. Holding myself up on my right elbow I called his name. "J, are you scared?"

"Yeah but I can't tell mom. She doesn't like it when we wake her up in the middle of the night." He mumbled when our mother was asleep at night it took her hours before she could sleep and even when she was awake I could still see that her fears controlled her.

Tossing my cover off I walked across the room climbing into his bed reaching into my pocket pulling out two separate jewels that I had found by the river near our house that had magical powers inside them. "If you're scared then you just wear this and know that I will always be there for you." Closing my hand around the gems I opened my palm again and it was formed into a necklace.

"But you don't have one." He said, hugging his knees to his chest underneath the blanket.

Shaking my head I siphoned the magic and mumbled the transfer spell placing some of my magic inside. "I don't need one. You have some of my magic there in case you need it. So I will always be with you."

"Thanks Rae." He smiled where we both snuggled up against each other listening to the storm rage outside.

Shaking my head I sniffed through tears taking Kol's hand in mine where he winced a little when I siphon closing my eyes beginning the chant. "Magia tollux de terras......Magia tollux de terras." The necklace was dangling in my other hand beginning to glow brighter transforming my magic into a physical object.

"It seems you are quite skilled with your magical tongue." Kol compliments me with a grin. "Wouldn't have figured you would fall in love with a witch, Nik."

He shrugged his head tilting it to the side watching me clip my necklace back around my neck relieved that at least one of the spells had worked today. "I may have my tiffs with all other witches that conspire against me but I will never see such betrayal in her."

The rest of the day was pretty boring before we ended up heading upstairs to go to bed. Slipping a tea shirt over my head I crawled into the bed feeling Klaus lay down beside me. He reaches up and begins to twirl the linking ring on my hand. "So I was thinking about something earlier when Kol helped me with my necklace. Maybe I should take a look into your mothers grimoire."

"Why would you do that, dear. The last time you handled them you almost burnt the pages." He asked laying on his side with my laying my head over his heart even though it wasn't really beating inside his chest since he was immortal.

Lifting my head to meet his gaze I hit my nose against his. "If I can control all your mothers darkness then there's a chance that I could save Josette, Luke, Olvia and dare I say it my parents. There could be a spell or maybe I can make one thing rescue them from being bound to my lifespan."

"Pace yourself, Raelyn. We don't have to solve all the world's problems in a day. In fact we should finally take that trip we talked about to New Orleans." Klaus suggested leaning forward kissing me gently threading his fingers through my hair tugging the hair tie off causing my hair to flow down my shoulders.

Wrapping my arms around his neck I pushed him back onto the pillow, never breaking the kiss until my hands moved down to the bottom of his shit about to shrug it over his head until I felt sick to my stomach breaking the kiss. "Aggg." Rushing towards the bathroom I hacked up what was in my stomach feeling light headed.

"Rae, here I've got ya." He vamped into the bathroom grabbing my hair in his hands holding it back while I kept puking into the toilet.

Pulling my head up I wiped my mouth with my arm coughing when I stumbled sitting down on the cold floor hugging my knees to my chest trembling. Klaus bent down on his knees rubbing my back softly. "It's getting worse, Klaus."

"Unfortunately I must agree with you, love. I will scour the earth until we find a witch to help us. Because you are my heart." He peaked a look into what I had thrown up seeing that it was in fact blood.

With a shaky hand I grasped his right in my left I laid my head on his chest where he wrapped his arm around my body. "Was it worth it to become immortal?"

"Yes." He immediately responded back, causing me to lift my head up quickly and take back that he didn't waste a moment. "Because it gave me the opportunity to find love with you, Raelyn Lane. Mark my word I will never force you to become what I am. Not unless you wish it to be so."

Wrapping my arms around his neck burying my face into his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around me holding me close. Blinking through tears I saw the ghost of a figure I had seen before holding a bag of pork rinds in his hand smirking at me evilly. "That may be arranged if I ever get out of here and see you again, Siphon Girl. Sleep tight."

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[raisindave]

[Chapter 23] Seeing the World Through Ballistic-Tinted Glasses

Streaming daylight cast wandering light beams across your dark bedroom, an unwelcome intrusion to your crash landing site. Commotion in your peripheral dragged your sleeping mind into this new dimension, turning your aching neck to see your phone screen alight with an incoming call. For a brief moment, you lived in blissful ignorance of what had happened only hours ago. However, that moment had since slipped through your fingertips, shooting a twinge of spite and horror through your foggy mind. 

“Hello?” your voice came out as a husky groan. A searing headache surged through your mind like crashing waves. 

“Cricket, open the door, we’re outside.” That unforgettable Scottish accent sounded through the speaker. 

For fuck’s sake, Soap, today’s not the day. The last thing you wanted to see was any reminder of your likely forfeit role in the armed services. He’s probably here to let you down easy and hand over your files. He must have heard your hesitation and opted to pursue it, knowing you’re always the type to be easily swayed. 

“Today, y’old bat.” He added, hearing Gaz in the background bark a laugh. 

���Fine.”

The mirror that passed your line of sight on your way down the stairs would have elicited some sense of shock or shame if you had any remaining self-respect left in you. Phantoms of dark eye makeup left heavy rings under your eyes and wild hair pulled into a presentable, though far from perfect, ponytail. How did they even find your house address? The record you were given had all geographic ties redacted. That’s a thought better muddled under less urgent circumstances. One last check over yourself to ensure you have the major clothing groups in check and the doorknob was creaking under your palm. A sudden surge of intruding sunlight made your face contort into a cringe as you gathered the faces of two of your comrades on your doorstep.

“Heeeey Cricket,” Soap cheered, pulling you into a side-faced hug as Gaz raised his hand in a polite wave. “We wanted to bring you over a birthday gift before we ship out again.”

“Ship out without me? I’m hurt.” You joked, though subtly prodding for additional information about your questionable employment. 

“Nah, it’s just tactical training,” Gaz piped up, “I think it’s water rescue this time.”

“They chuck us in a fuck-off-cold pool, and we have to drag these mannequins onto a helicopter ladder,” Soap groaned, coming entirely into view to show an armful of flowers with the exact wrapping they sold at the convenience store down the street. 

You accepted the armful of slightly withered assorted flowers, sharing a kind thank you with the group. It’s impossible to tell if those two pairs of eyes staring back at you were those of genuine companions looking to share a birthday gift or the gaze of two colleagues who saw what you did in the dark. Your mouth pressed into a thin line, awkwardly patting your fingertips on the doorframe and sucking a sigh in through your teeth.

“Well… will you come in for tea?” Your voice was stern and calm, but every muscle behind your carefully constructed smile begged them to decline. Ever the oblivious ones, they happily accepted your invitation. 

Despite having an equally inebriated night out, probably out later than you, too, they had the nerve to look absolutely peachy. No dark circles, uncouth hair or waxy skin, just neatly pressed SAS tee shirts and those same lazy grins. Catching a nosey but curious side-eyed gaze from your neighbour as you ushered these living weapons inside your home, reluctantly. 

Be it from time spent away from home for so long or a genuine indifference toward hot drinks, you were shamefully unequipped to serve tea to two Brits. What kind of tea do they drink anyway? It definitely wouldn’t be this Christmas Sugar Cookie tea mix. A more significant concern overtook you, as your typically tidy and organized living space looked like the wreckage of an airstrike. A single thong that you had no idea where it had come from was quickly whisked between a couch cushion just in time for them to lazily stroll into your open kitchen. 

“I can’t help but notice you’re down one,” you asked, probing about Ghost’s whereabouts, hopefully at the bottom of a river. 

“LT was up before both of us. He went for a jog around the area and said he’d meet us at the tarmac.” Soap responded plainly, casually strolling through your living space as if it’s a fine art museum and he’s on a field trip that had been begrudgingly dragged into the exhibits.

“We missed you last night. Plan A of your birthday gift was to buy you a drink.” Gaz spoke up eagerly, resting his hands politely in his pockets, unlike Soap, who was plucking polaroids off your fridge. 

“That’s still on the table, y’know,” Soap corrected, eliciting a theatrical winge from you that made him chuckle.  

“Ehh, I don’t tend to stay out too late on my nights out,” You sighed, shovelling armfuls of empty cans and bottles into the sink, flurrying fingers whipping the filled kettle onto its base. 

The two were exploring your space, completely unabashed by your frantic cleaning. There wasn’t a knick-knack or picture frame that wasn’t astutely studied, flipping through music records haphazardly, making you silently cringe. Soap had the nerve to flip over one of the half dozen empty chocolate boxes, presenting it to Gaz triumphantly with a bewildered grin.

“I didn’t know you had a sister,” Gaz inquired, picking up a framed photo in a lacquered frame. 

"Is she hot?" Soap interjected, half-joking, or so you hoped. 

“She’s dead.”

“Ah, apologies,” Gaz apologized awkwardly, cautiously setting the frame in its original place.

“This must be the man of the house!” Soap hollered from behind you, taking bounding steps to press his nose to the glass of your goldfish’s tank. 

“Chupacabra!” Gaz concurred, stepping beside Soap to watch the thoughtless creature meander around its tank.

Having these men running loose in your house was like herding cats. They’re obsessively curious and are too courageous, or stupid, to have any sense of self-censorship. It was the last thing you could have wished for in the morning after a night out. On the bright side, at least their asshole friend did you the courtesy of knowing he wouldn’t be welcome. Still, it is pretty entertaining to see these supersoldiers gush over a literal goldfish. Days ago, these two were dropping out of a helicopter to raid a cartel yacht off the coast of Mexico and shooting down their armed guards with pinpoint accuracy. 

“I swear to God he just winked at me,” he howled, pressing a fingertip into the glass. 

“Soap, that’s impossible. They don’t even have eyelids.” You grumbled in response, pouring the steaming water into a trilogy of mugs. 

“Sure they do, how do you think the fucker just winked at me. I saw it clear as day,” he pressed.

“Don’t call my fish a fucker,” you huffed, stifling a bubbling laugh.

It’s always been so hard to stay mad at these guys. They’re kind, moderately considerate, and damn good storytellers. They could have easily stayed for hours, tolerating your tea, and you tolerating them fumbling over one another to share gut-wrenching horror stories of missions gone haywire. They weren’t bashful about eating up all the food in your fridge, too, eating up everything in sight. Before you knew it, the two soldiers were back out the door, and you found yourself not as weary as when they first arrived. 

Days slurred along, leaving you ample opportunity to spend time alone with your soul-crushing thoughts. It gave you time to digest the bile and hatred that churned in your intestines, chewing over every word that you could recall. Having those two lunatics eat up all your food was more of a blessing in disguise, as it forced you to come out of hiding and face the sunlight that didn’t come from your fenced backyard. Rattling carts and swinging fluorescent lights overhead, you found yourself oddly triumphant in buying more short-term shelflife foods like fresh fruits and vegetables. Now that you’re becoming increasingly confident in not being called into work any time soon, you can finally explore your cooking abilities again. Self-heating MREs and vacuum-sealed granola for months on end have a way of eroding your tastebuds, something you refuse to let the military strip from your soul. The exotic and flavourful dishes, for one, were still marred with a sense of dread, knowing these flavours were only the consequence of crossing an uncrossable barrier. 

Wrath translated into apathy, which dabbled into deep, agonizing sadness on your longest nights. The nagging thirst for knowledge and research is the only thing stopping you from clocking into a psych ward. Now that your first attempt to control your circumstances went so spectacularly wrong, the days just blur by. Stark white pages of case studies printed on the backs of your eyelids when you fall asleep. Coffee doesn’t taste the same since hopelessness and simmering wrath are forever lingering on your tongue.

Another afternoon spent with your legs dangling in the murky pool in your backyard, green waters a torrent of sticks and leaves, and you couldn’t help but mourn. It had been just over three months since your last notification from Laswell- from anyone. You weren’t even sure if you had a job anymore, and maybe your paperwork was lost in the mail. Being left in the dark is agonizing. Uncertainty seems to be the name of the game when it comes to the special forces. Birds had the gall to sing as sweetly as ever, mismatched to your vicious internal monologue, staring daggers through their white underbellies from the dingy poolside. 

Thoughts lingered on Chupacabra. The strange little glimmer of hope in your life. After all, he’s so happy to swim around his bowl, ecstatic to explore the same plastic leaves and ceramic cave. The fish is so excited to gulp up every food flake and carry on with gleeful optimism. If only you could find that same optimism. Ultimately, your first attempt to take control of yourself failed spectacularly, and maybe that was the universe’s way to slap your wrist. Having a pet is just no longer suited for your life. In the best-case scenario, you’re back at work, and the fish will be shipped to the next best owner for a few weeks. In the worst case, you’re looking for a new job, and the gleeful little fish will constantly remind you of the life you’re just never set to be content with. No matter how much of a rock that thoughtless little bundle of cells might be, that's no way to leave a pet.

Luckily for Chupa, the neighbour’s daughter was more than happy to take on the new fish, and the lingering frown couldn’t help but be overshadowed with triumph. If nothing else, that’s one good decision that’s come out of the last few months. Before you knew it, the weeks that passed had since dissolved your disgust in your inability to care for a literal fucking goldfish. That sweet boy deserves better than what you had to offer.

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Master List

[chibivesicle]

Hey there!

I just read a couple of your reviews and analyses of Trigun Stampede and OMG we both have the almost exact same gripes and problems with it! Like the pacing is so weird, there’s no breathing room for the characters to develop and most of the interactions between the characters feel like either ham-fisted exposition or shallow lip-service and as messy and crowded as it feels so far it also feels so empty, and I’m not getting any of the emotional nuance or anything that made the original so compelling, among everything else, like almost completely getting rid of the spaghetti western aesthetic that makes Trigun such a unique beast, turning Meryl into a generic uwu seasonal waifu that actively fawns over Vash, how Vash’s design goes against everything that’s encoded into his original design, this Roberto guy that sucks the joy out of every scene he’s in and constantly bullies Meryl, the lack of meaningful emotional connections between each character and by extension the audience, among many other things that we both have problems with. And even Vash’s character feels…off, like an empty imitation, and I don’t know why, but it feels empty.

All in all it’s so far little more than a flashy, style over substance sci fi action anime at best, an utter mess at worst, and it’s nice to see someone who’s familiar with both the 98 anime and the manga can actually see and analyse the glaring flaws in a thoughtful, insightful way and can see past the glitzy animation, which at this point makes me think that Studio Orange were more concerned with showing off their fancy CGI tech than anything. I also feel like they’ve leant much more into the sci-fi part and made such drastic changes to characters like Meryl to appeal more to the Japanese audience as well as modern anime audiences in general and in the process sacrificed ALOT, what do you think?

Hello hello,

Sorry for the slow reply, I'm trying to crank though a few before the work week starts tomorrow and I have another busy week work ahead.

I'm sort of relieved that other people are really noticing other things with Stampede that are why they aren't really liking or enjoying it. It took me a few metas to really begin to get past the initial reaction of something bothering me and getting annoyed about it but not being able to articulate it in the first few episodes. The original manga and anime were the product of its time and referred back to other forms of media that someone born after 2000 likely would not have seen. It truly was a unique beast that was destined for niche fans in Japan and I don't think they predicted how huge it would get outside of the country. It is pretty much a form of media that Gen-X or Millennials would watch and get a lot of the references. The part that I miss the most was the spaghetti western aspect of it - I freakkin' loved those as a kid growing up and watched My Name is Nobody a lot on VHS. They are a weird period slice of media and if you were familiar with them it translated over so well to Trigun.

I've watched a ton of anime over the years and I'm still shocked that I'm this disappointed about a series that I loved over twenty years ago. The original was an odd duck when it came out but I think that was its special sauce; it was a beautiful onion that unpeeled to a deeply emotional series that really forced you to examine your morals and society. You cried in episode 23. Hard.

I'm with you - I feel this version of Vash feels empty. Yet, even six episodes in, I can't nail down why. He says similar things, he's shown to be able to do things but the best I can come up with is how he faces situations. In the original, he did run away from his problems, I mean he was doing it for over 100 years. But, he wasn't always running and would do his best to discretely do his part and have a less deadly outcome. Even if it meant getting gum stuck in a barrel or being tied up. He was incredibly friendly with people and joked around when possible and never stopped trying to look on the sunny side even when things were bleak. Manga Vash isn't as chipper, but when he helps out Livio pointing out that there is nothing better than eating food and being alive . . . he was a more supportive character. Meryl is a disappointment and no Milly - sighs. I can look back now and says that I clearly liked the original since it was an anime from the 90s that had TWO female characters who both brought things to the table, were competent and fed into the overall character growth of the entire core group. I 100% agree that the nuance and flavor of the original were completely sacrificed in the name of a 'serious' yet digestible sci fi action series. Yes, Meryl was indeed uwu-ized for a domestic audience and likely for international fans who like that type of character as well. Milly was cut because - well how do you explain Milly to a current anime audience? I'm trying to think of a contemporary character who is like her. Or a series she could be in? Gintama maybe? The series has good female characters but she's still too tall and not cute enough.

Actually, there is one series where I know she could work ~ but that cast of characters is already huge and if my theory is correct, both she and Meryl got gender swapped to male characters with slightly different flavors. And neither of them are reading the newspaper in this manga color panel.

Stay tuned for a longer meta by me about how the shounen/diverse cast/bonkers humor aspect of Trigun lives on in Blood Blockade Battlefront.

Studio Orange wants Stampede to be pretty, sci fi and dazzle everyone. With my episode six review done, I've really added to that even more. Whatever the final product will be, it will lack all the elements of the original sources. It isn't about if the '98 anime was better or the manga, they are both good for different reasons and that's fine. But they answered the same core questions, asked the same moral dilemmas and brought in the same themes. They just got there in two different ways. I'd like Studio Orange to be successful, but I'm not keen on their choices and it will be interesting to see the result.

Either people will go and look up the original and if they aren't used to the 90s animation style go - ick - and not get further or hopefully, they will see that the 90s anime and manga went some very interesting directions narratively and it pays off to sit back, watch/read and then cry along the way. And realize that original OST for Trigun was a killer gem of the late '90s along with Escaflowne. I just sigh as if Studio Orange wanted it to have a more visual impact, they should have kept the more 90s chara designs to catch the attention in our saturated landscape. In the 90s it would have been harder to notice with similar styles but now, that spiky blond hair! Would have worked better!

[astr-worlds]

DAD STATZ - Heights

Aka the series no one asked for at all!

I’ve been listening to this podcast for a really long time (on like my 60th relisten), and I love everything about it! I wanted to 

So the actual physical descriptions of the dads and teens can get..a little vague, which is great! Because that leaves space for a lot of fan interpretation! However, I thought it might be fun to try and gather a master source for actual stats and “prove” them in canon. This is all just for fun and not trying to ruin anybodies headcanons or anything! I love seeing different versions of the dads!

Ron is the easiest (and shortest).

The first mention we get for his height is from Episode 3: The Lord of Chaos. Beth says this “Um, I’m maybe 5’ 4” and 120-ish pounds.” This height stays constant for the rest of the pod, there isn’t any other height ever listed for Ron Stampler! Which makes Beth my favorite for this part!! Go Beth!! 

As for the rest of the dads.. Well. 

Darryl isn’t too difficult, we get a few different mentions of his height throughout the show. 

In Episode 25: Mummy Issues we get this line when they are trying to decide how tall of a body they need for the ride:

“All right, Darryl's six. So we’ll say,”

Interestingly he gets taller in Season 2! In episodes 23 and 24 (Alright and Spider-boyz: homecoming) we get two mentions of Darryl being 6’3:

“So he's like 6'3 now and he is like 140, fucking built—”

“And I gain… two— I gain one inch! I go from 6'2 to 6'3.”

With anything improvised I try to stick to the most recent information or the information that is repeated the most. Given that the sn 2 just came out, we’ll stick with Darryl at 6’3!

Now, onto the less than forthcoming dads. Henry and Glenn get a couple of mentions of their height throughout the show, nothing I could find where their characters actually mention their heights though. Going strictly off of my own character design brain, it makes sense to have them serve as the middle ground between our two extremes (Darryl and Ron), so I want to put them around 5’8-5’10. Canon mentions do seem to support this as well! 

In episode 25: Mummy Issues this is said:

“Henry's probably like, 5’8”.”

“Glenn's probably like a good average 5’8”.”

So they are both around 5’8! I considered just bumping one of them up to 5’9 for some difference, but it’s kind of silly if they are the exact same height!

EDIT: in episode 62: Sonscreen, Henry shrinks to 2'11, which is described as half of his height, so he is 5'10.

Last but not least We have Jodi Foster. Jodi wins worst dad for this week because he has ZERO canon mentions of his height! In Episode 49: Contact, we get this brief description of him 

“And next to him is a pretty handsome, pretty beefy guy who is laughing uproariously at a joke that he has seemingly just told to the young boy.”

And thats fucking it, we learn later he has a tummy, but nothing on how tall he is. 

Personally I think he is just a little taller than Glenn, mostly because it’s funny. I know a lot of people want him and Glenn to be the same height, but given that Henry and Glenn are already the same, it felt like too many 5’8 bitches. Given that Athony made them officially brothers with Episode 23 (rip closefoster shippers, if you existed?) it would make sense that they would be closer in physical appearance, but not exactly the same (they aren’t twins im pretty sure).

And that concludes dad statz! I have no idea why I spent like three hours on this at all

Ending statz

Ron: 5’4

Darryl: 6’3

Henry:5’10

Glenn:5’8

Jodi:5’10

(shoutout to my sister @purenssteele for helping me)

[televinita]

TV Shows Watched in 2023: Jan-June

(a.k.a. “how am I doing on the 23 in ‘23 list? not great, bob!)

Arranged by category w/ a quick summary of my thoughts, because the log I’ve been keeping by month is a mess. You have probably seen me mention all of these at some point, but now it’s all in one place, for my convenience. Albeit overly rambly.

PART 1: SAMPLED & QUIT

Animal Control: crass and crude even by broadcast network standards + no likeable characters = not even animals could get me to come back for second episode

The Terror: gave it two episodes, but it’s just too slow

Quantum Leap (2022): one for guest star Sofia Pernas & done, what a dull mess

-----------------

PART 2: SAMPLED, WILL CONTINUE SOMEDAY

The Ranch: After binge-watching a bunch of That 70s Show in January, this was exactly the additional content I needed. I don’t love the language but that’s the only real issue with this. That said, two episodes was enough for the time being; I’ll leave this tucked in my back pocket for when I really want more of these actors as brothers.

Trinkets: every day I curse myself for not grabbing the dollar store copy of the book when I saw it, long before the show was announced, because I think that might have gotten me more invested? That said, I really like all 3 of these characters and you know how I am with the voyeuristic love of shoplifting stories. It pings the same part of my brain as thrift-shopping. I just don’t want it right at this exact moment ,while I’m focused on cleaning and decluttering.

-------------------

PART 3: SCRIPTED SERIES

Abbott Elementary, S2: watched w/ husband, one of the lights and joys of my weekly-viewing life. every character is amazing AND it’s funny. do you know how hard that is to manage?

Ghosts (CBS), S2: the other light and joy of my life, which I have to save up and watch in spurts because one a week or less is NOT enough. I don’t love all of these characters as strongly as the above, but as an ensemble they are awesome, and it’s actually a tad bit funnier. And of course, the set design is unmatched.

Night Court (2023): the other one I was watching with husband, based on his love of the original which I’ve never seen. This is a very comfort-food kind of sitcom. Melissa Rauch and John Larroquette are carrying it for sure, because they’re the only ones who feel like real people as opposed to cartoonish joke machines, but the cartoonish joke machines still make me laugh and I like all of them. I have a particular fondness for Olivia, whose opinions are correct always.

That 90s Show: we were doing so well but we still haven’t watched the last 2 episodes oops. I simply cannot care about these children other than Gwen, I can't do it!! Even Leia is only relevant to me in the company of her relatives. That said, I do love every bit with Red & Kitty, and it’s still fun to watch as a whole.

Poker Face: another one husband brought me to. This was slow to grow on me, but there’s something about Charlie you just can’t help but like, so we kept going until I was well and truly delighted by it and I look forward to another season.

Daisy Jones & The Six: this is such an uphill climb, because screw Daisy, that my progress has slowed to a crawl. I just finished episode six yesterday (after starting in March). I swear it’s still a good adaptation, because I truly am loving EVERYTHING else about it, it’s just... Her. Her only useful purpose is to model the most amazing wardrobe (that only a select few women could pull off) you’ve ever seen.

Alaska Daily: I am 0% sad this got canceled because while I loved the setting and the missing-women throughline, I never got attached to any of the characters, and the pacing was slow and often made it felt like a chore...but a chore I could not quit because the mystery was just this side of intriguing. At least they solved it by the end of the season.

Big Sky, S2: by contrast, this is my current watch -- just finished season 2, taking a brief break to collect my feelings before starting S3 -- and I LOVE it just as much as season 1. Every man on this show except Lindor and Cassie’s dad sucks but the women are amazing, and it’s absolutely addictive. I feel like I should be grateful it got as many seasons as it did, but I’m also mad about it being canceled.

Loki: Pretty sure we all know about this one by now. :)

The Essex Serpent: technically I have not finished this because I got 4/6 episodes in and was like, I cannot stand this agony, just give me all the Will/Stella/Cora scenes that remain and skip over the rest, but I’d like to finish it off for real at some point.

Return to Cranford: I’ve been vaguely meaning to watch Cranford ever since Pam mentioned it on The Office, but never did. Did that stop me from diving into this essentially-a-long-movie follow-up when I saw it on Hiddleston’s resume? Absolutely not.

--------------

PART 4: REALITY/GAME SHOWS

Survivor, S44: Carolyn Wiger, Hometown Hero ftw! (*not actually my hometown. but pretty close) Matt/Frannie OTP! IDK what else happened because everyone was so boring and most of the interesting women were bounced in the first 4 episodes.

The Chase, S3: guaranteed fun. This is the only trivia show besides Jeopardy that moves fast enough for me, and it’s also the only one where I like listening to the hosts and don’t mind hearing from the contestants.

Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team: season 15:

I hadn’t seen this one before because it wasn’t part of the syndication package, but Paramount+ had it! Honestly, my love affair with the show has waned, and I don’t enjoy the newer seasons as much anyway, but The Covid Season was definitely not a highlight.

Cook at All Costs: the unexpected, fast-paced and mystery-box-inclusive DELIGHT! Twelve more seasons please.

Snack vs. Chef: me trying to replicate the fun of CAAC, part 1 (not as good; I like watching people work at their little kitchen stations but this seemed way too hard)

Best Leftovers Ever: me trying to replicate the fun of CAAC, part 2 (even less good, and why was there a weird unfair “advance to the next episode until you lose” aspect to the structure?)

The Amazing Race, S32: Waiting for a new season, decided I might as well watch the newest one I haven’t seen, despite its legendary terribleness.

The Traitors (U.S.): I only came for QUEEN CIRIE (after husband asked if we could watch it), but I stayed for the amazing Scottish castle and its grounds, a surprising number of the cast, the missions, the whole-hearted commitment to absurd theatricality; even the discussions and strategy talk during their downtime got interesting by episode 2 or 3. I look forward to more! Actually cursing that I can’t watch the Portuguese version hosted by my beloved Daniela Ruah.

PART 5: RANDOM RERUNS I’VE BEEN WATCHING

Seinfeld

Community

30 Rock (only a few because husband had it on, but it’s incredible how much funnier this is when you’re not being annoyed by everyone fawning about how Great! And Smart! it is in real time)

The Simpsons (2nd only to Loki as the greatest value of Disney+ tbh)

+ Survivor: Gabon (S17): because mid-way through the current/crap season, I got a hankering to rewatch a good one.

[rafole]

my bad for misunderstanding your response, i did think you were speaking more generally rather than about yourself specifically. i was actually doing the same in mine, that is talking about how i personally approach forming opinions and commenting on everything (so dw i didn’t think you meant i was the intrusive type). we both seem to be saying the wrong thing to each other lmao

i agree with everything you said about fans. the ones who know/are constantly told why daria is problematic but excuse her behaviour or blame iga anyway can easily look up the ethics of psychology to check if they have the correct information, but they don’t. that’s the wilful ignorance that pisses me off because, due to how serious this situation could be, i believe they have a responsibility to educate themselves. victim blaming and spreading misinformation in the name of defending daria causes a lot of damage. doing so perpetuates certain harmful narratives about abusive relationships that would harm iga if she is in fact stuck in one.

i have a guess for why some fans act like talking about this is an insult to iga. i think it comes down to a lack of understanding of the history of iga and daria’s relationship, and how unethical, exploitative and abusive relationships work in general. i suspect those who are at least aware of when the two met and what was going on in iga’s life at the time think that iga at 17, 18, 19, etc. had the exact same traits she currently has at 23. they think of teenage iga as the adult woman she is right now instead of the vulnerable teenager she was. also, they incorrectly associate being a victim with weakness and helplessness. so in their minds, it’s insulting to iga when people talk about a situation she is the victim in. i imagine their line of thinking goes “how dare you imply that this strong woman is actually so weak that daria has been controlling and manipulating her for the past 6 years?” that’s obviously not at all how it works but like i said, they lack an understanding of how it does work. and if the relationship is romantic or sexual then it goes way beyond unethical or inappropriate, that’s a literal crime. classic case of grooming. which is why people who make jokes about romance annoy me as well

Wow I wasn’t even aware she has been a part of Iga’s team for that long, genuinely sickening.

+your other anon “sorry for another ask but i realised that my wording in the second part of my other one made it sound like i thought iga isn’t a strong person when that couldn’t be more wrong. i think she’s a very strong person and that was part of my point. she is the complete opposite of the vulnerable teenager she was when she met daria. i felt it was important to clarify this so yeah”

I don’t think anyone can argue against that, Iga is a mental giant. But that doesn’t even matter what kind of person she is now or how she was before because really anybody can become a victim and that statement makes people uncomfortable.

Atp I change my mind about my first reply the effects of normalizing this is way worse than maybe being wrong. Wish the wider tennis world gaf more about this beyond how it effects Iga’s performance on the court….

[snowysosturn]

Allies or Affiliates? - Chris Sturniolo

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25 Part 26 Part 27 Part 28 Part 29 Finale

Pairing : Y/n x Chris Sturniolo

Summary : Law student Y/n’s life takes a turn when she reconnects with Chris, her brief teenage flame who is now a dealer for a dangerous Boston drug gang. As their bond reignites, Y/n is drawn into Chris’s tumultuous world, where rival gangs clash and loyalty is everything. Balancing her love for Chris with her own ambitions, can their connection survive the chaos that threatens to pull them apart?

Warnings : MDNI, Mentions of drugs, mentions of murder

A/N: Although this is FICTION I want to make it clear how serious getting involved with anything to do with drugs can be, and how hard it can be to get out of it and in no way am I trying to glorify it.

The clock read 5:03 PM as I stepped out of the front door of Boston University, the autumn sky painted in soft streaks of pink and orange. The campus buzzed with the usual energy on a Friday - students rushing to home to get ready for weekend parties, some chatting in small groups on the lawns, while others sped off on bikes or scurried to catch the next bus. Boston was always alive, but there was a kind of comfort in the routine of it all, a sense of order in the chaos.

I pulled my coat tighter around me, the early October chill creeping in as I started walking. It had been a long day, a long week, really. Law school wasn’t a joke. Between the hours of lectures, the mountains of assignments, and the never ending reading list, I felt like I was constantly drowning in work. Sometimes, it felt like I barely had time to breathe, let alone catch up with my friends or even sleep. But tonight, I had made an exception. I was heading to my best friend Willow’s place for some much needed relaxation and a good catch up.

Willow had been my best friend for as long as I could remember. We grew up together, practically sisters. Our families had always been close, bonded by the same comfortable, though not extravagant, wealth. We weren’t the type of rich that screamed excess, but our lives had always been comfortable, easy. Willow and I never talked much about that, though, it was just an unspoken part of our lives, something we both understood without needing to mention.

After taking a short subway journey, I made my way through the familiar streets toward her apartment, I felt the weight of the week slowly starting to lift off my shoulders. Willow’s place was always my safe haven, bringing me back memories of when my family also lived in Beacon Hill. A place where I could let my guard down and forget about the endless deadlines, the pressure to perform, and the expectations that came with law school. Tonight, I needed that more than ever.

When I reached her apartment building, Willow was already at the door, waving at me with a bright smile. She was wrapped in a chunky knit sweater, her hair laid perfectly, and she looked as warm and inviting as ever.

“Took you long enough” she teased as I walked up the steps.

I rolled my eyes, grinning. “Blame the professors. They think we’re machines.”

“Ah I’m only messing” she said, stepping aside to let me in. “I’ve got wine ready. You need it.”

“I’m not arguing with that” I replied, stepping inside and shrugging off my coat. The warmth of her apartment immediately hit me, and I sighed in relief. It was always so homey here, the soft glow of the candles she had lit casting flickering shadows on the walls. Willow’s place had this calm, peaceful vibe that was the exact opposite of the chaos in my life right now.

“So” she began, handing me a glass of white wine mixed with lemonade to (you know to make it sweeter) as we settled onto the couch, “What’s the latest? How’s law school treating you?”

I groaned, taking a sip of the alcoholic concoction before answering. “I don’t know why yous ever let me decide to become a lawyer” I laughed.  “I feel like I’m constantly drowning in assignments and then I’m up to my ears in readings, and don’tttttt even get me started on work. I’ve been spending so much time at my mom’s bridal studio, I swear its like every woman in Boston is getting married this year.”

Willow chuckled, shaking her head. “I don’t know how you do it. I’d lose my mind.”

“I’m hanging on by a thread. But it’ll be worth it. I hope.” I said rolling my eyes.

“It will” she said confidently, raising her glass. “You’re going to be an amazing lawyer one day. I can already see it.”

“From your lips to god's ears” I laughed, clinking my glass with hers. “But yeah, I’ve got to sit in on a court hearing on Monday. Kind of like an observation. We’re supposed to get a feel for how things work in the courtroom.”

Willow looked impressed. “That sounds intense. Are you nervous?”

“A little” I admitted. “I’ve never actually been inside a courtroom before. You think I would've already 3 years into law school, like it’s one thing to read about cases and watch the news, but it’s another to actually be there, seeing it all unfold.”

She nodded thoughtfully, taking another sip of her wine. “You’ll do fine. You always do. Just remember, you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.”

I smiled, feeling the tension in my shoulders start to ease. “Thanks, Willow. I needed that.”

We talked for a little while longer, catching up on the little things, what she’d been up to, how her week had gone, the usual chatter that always seemed to flow so easily between us. I could feel myself relaxing, the stress of the week slowly melting away with each sip of wine.

Eventually, I reached for my phone and connected it to her TV, letting some music play softly in the background. After a few songs, “Everybody Dies In Their Nightmares” by XXXTENTACION started to play.

“Oh my god, I haven’t heard this song since, like, 2018!” Willow said, laughing as she set down her wine glass. “This reminds me of Nate Doe, he showed it to me. I haven’t heard about him in years.”

Her words sparked something deep in my memory, and suddenly, a flood of thoughts hit me. “Oh my god who was friends with Chris Sturniolo. Where the hell did he go?”

Willow’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Chris! Oh my God, he was such a sweetheart!”

“I know, right?” I said, leaning forward in my seat. “Do you remember we used to talk all the time during summer 2018? How he’d walk all the way across Boston just to hang out with me. I had such a soft spot for him.”

Willow smiled, leaning back against the couch cushions. “Oh my god yes! He was so good looking at the time too.. Do you remember how he and Nate were inseparable? They were always together.”

“Yeah” I nodded, my mind spinning with memories. “Nate had this tough exterior, but Chris.. Chris was just a genuinely good guy. I wonder what happened to him.”

We both fell silent for a moment, lost in our thoughts. Nate had always seemed a little rough around the edges, coming from a background that was a bit more complicated than ours. But somehow, he managed to keep it together. Chris, though, he was different. He was kind in a way that stuck with you, the type of person who made you feel like you mattered.

Without even realizing it, I pulled out my phone and started scrolling through old messages with Chris. “I wonder if he’s still around” I said, more to myself than to Willow.

She glanced over at me, intrigued. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t know..” I shrugged. “I just haven’t thought about him in so long. I’m curious.. I really do hope he’s doing okay.”

Curiosity got the better of both of us, and soon enough, we were deep diving into our old messages on Facebook Messenger of all things. We laughed as we scrolled through the innocent conversations between us, Nathan, and Chris, back when everything seemed simpler, easier. There was something sweet about it, something that reminded me of a time when life wasn’t so complicated.

I eventually clicked onto Chris’s profile, but my heart sank a little when I saw it. “Weird” I muttered, frowning at my phone screen.

“What’s up?” Willow asked, glancing over at me.

“He unfriended me” I said, scrolling through his profile. “And there’s nothing here. No posts, no profile picture.. everything’s wiped. He only has like 20 friends on here now.”

Willow raised an eyebrow. “Seriously?”

“Yeah..” I said, showing her my phone. “It’s like he disappeared off the face of the earth.”

Willow shrugged, sipping her wine. “Maybe he’s just gone off the grid. People do that sometimes. I mean, I only keep Facebook for Messenger these days anyway.”

“True” I muttered, though something about it felt... off. “I just wonder what happened to him. It’s like he vanished.”

“Maybe it’s no big deal” Willow said, trying to reassure me. “People change. They move on.”

“Yeah, I guess” I said, though I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

As we continued scrolling through old conversations, laughing at the silly messages we used to send as 15 year olds, I found myself thinking more and more about Chris. He had been such a big part of my life for that brief time, and now, it felt like he was a ghost, someone who had been there, but now was completely gone.

After a couple more glasses of wine and plenty of laughs, Willow and I decided to call it a night. It was almost midnight, and the weight of the week was starting to hit me. We didn’t even bother clearing the table, just left the wine glasses and half empty bottle as they were, and headed to bed.

The next morning, I woke up earlier than I’d planned. It was barely 7am, and sunlight streamed in through the sheer curtains, casting a soft glow across the room. I stretched, yawned, and checked my phone – no new notifications, except for a reminder that I had to open the bridal shop today.

Willow was still fast asleep when I slipped out of her apartment, but that was no surprise. She was always a late riser. Beacon Hill was quiet this early, the cobblestone streets almost deserted, with only a few people out for their morning walks. You could see my breath in the crisp morning air as I headed toward the bridal shop in downtown Boston, deciding to stop for a coffee along the way.

As I made my way down Charles Street, I noticed something out of place for this hour of the morning. A cluster of police cars parked near the corner, their flashing lights reflecting off the surrounding buildings. There were officers standing around, talking in low voices, and a small crowd of people who seemed to be watching from a distance.

I couldn’t help but feel curious. What had happened? What was going on in these people’s lives, right under my nose, that I had no clue about? The thought lingered with me as I ordered my usual oat milk cappuccino and continued on my way.

It was strange how life worked. One minute, everything seemed normal – people going about their routines, living their lives – and the next, something like this happened. Something that could change everything. And soon enough, I’d be on the other side of that. Potentially defending people in situations just like this, trying to piece together what had happened and why. It made me wonder if I was really ready for that kind of responsibility.

I got to the bridal shop and unlocked the door and went through my usual opening routine. The shop had a certain charm to it, and I’d expect nothing less from my mom. Elegant white dresses hanging on racks, soft lighting bouncing off the delicate lace and silk, the smell of freshly brewed coffee mixing with the faint scent of roses. Mom had impeccable taste when it came to design, and it showed in every corner of the shop.

After turning on the lights and setting everything up, I put on the radio like I always did. The shop wouldn’t open for another fifteen minutes, so I had some time to kill. The thought of Chris floated back into my mind as I leaned against the counter, doom scrolling through Instagram.

Maybe Instagram was my best bet for reconnecting with him. Facebook had been a bust, everything was wiped there, but maybe his Instagram account would offer something more. I just wanted to know what he looked like now at least.

I typed his name into the search bar and found him easily enough. @christophersturniolo. My heart skipped a beat when I saw his profile, and funnily enough I was already following him, must have been from years ago. But that feeling quickly faded when I realized it was just as ghostly as his Facebook. Only two posts, both from 2018. No profile picture. Nothing else. It was like he had disappeared from the internet, or at least from any part of it that was publicly accessible.

I clicked into the first post, squinting at the photo. It was a shot of him and a couple of other guys, standing pool side which looked like Nate’s back garden, if I could remember correctly. They were all grinning, arms slung around each other’s shoulders. I was about to scroll down when something on the radio caught my attention.

“…another victim in the ongoing feud between the Crimson Cartel and the H Block gangs. The man, whose identity is being withheld until the family is notified, but is said to be apart of the H Block gang, was found dead on Charles Street late last night in what police believe to be a gang related hit. Authorities are urging anyone with information to come forward…”

I froze, my thumb hovering over the screen of my phone as the news report continued.

The Crimson Cartel. I’d heard of them before, everyone had. They were one of the biggest gangs in Boston, notorious for their drug trafficking and violent turf wars. And now, it seemed like things were escalating again, another life lost to the senseless cycle of crime and violence.

It was awful. The idea that people could get dragged into something like that just to make ends meet, that they could lose themselves to drugs or crime, it always hit me hard. Maybe it was because I’d led such a different life, a life of relative privilege, that it felt so distant. But now, with everything I was learning in law school, it didn’t feel so distant anymore. One day, I’d probably be defending people caught up in situations like this, people who made bad decisions, sure, but who were still human, who still deserved a chance.

I shook my head, pulling myself out of my thoughts. I glanced down at my phone, intending to close out of Instagram, but then I noticed something that made my heart skip a beat.

The little heart icon beneath Chris’s post… it was red.

Did I just like that? My stomach dropped. I must’ve tapped it without realizing while I was distracted by the radio. Panic surged through me as I scrambled to unlike the post, but the damage was already done.

Chris would get a notification. He’d know I’d liked his post from 2018, after all this time, after years of no contact. What would he think? Would he even care? A million thoughts raced through my head, but there was no taking it back now.

I stood there for a moment, staring at my phone screen in disbelief. What had I just done?

A/n: ooooooo first part im exciteddddd, im hoping to have a posting schedule of Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. But that may vary week to week depending how busy I am<3

taglist: @mattybearnard @sturn-33 @ncm9696 @yourfavsturniologirl @crazy4jewel @sodakid1234 @stupendoustreewinner @lovealwayssturniolos @matthewsturniolosss @m4ttsmunch @loveexxx @ilusa @starkeyszn @wonnieeluvvr @dylnblue @valxrieq @maggot3647 @cigarettecemetary @ribread03 @chrisstvrns @bandasaruswrx @noplaceissafeanymore @amexiass @witchofthehour @mattssgf @jetaimevous @v33angel @ivysturnss @urmom69lol @ashlishes @watercolorskyy @sturnioloshottiekay @amelia-sturniolo3 @imjusthereforthesturniolosmut @pvssychicken @alizestvrnss @lvrsturniolo

[chrysanthemumpink]

Idk, I just feel like he's not moving forward. And when we used to argue, id wonder if we could just get through it with love or whatever. But now, I don't know if there's even enough to get through. It feels like I'm slowly out growing him. Which is way worse than falling out of love with him.

Like we had this conversation about a "million dollar home." And maybe he thought we were just joking and maybe we were. But after some superficial google researchers, if we both made 6 figures, it would be possible. Nothing too crazy. I make 100,000k and he does too, we can have/own this thing. Between the two of us, there's literally 7 professional degrees. It's hard, really hard, but not impossible.

But he's barely done anything. To be perfectly honest, he hasn't grown much since the first day we met. That was 6 years ago. And I'm not saying, I've done a lot. But I'm not at square one anymore. Ever since that conversation, I've been working towards a relatively stable future.

And he's not lazy. He's really not. He doesn't do anything that makes him unhappy or uncomfortable. He prioritizes what makes him happy in the moment, never long term. And it's almost like he's incapable of invisioning something and actually working towards it.

I don't bring it up because that's the exact thing he's very very self conscious about. Like he says he hates Instagram because it makes him very jealous and resentful. He feels like he hasn't accomplished anything. He's 35.

And I think he does genuinely want more for himself. But won't do anything that will make him grow bc he keeps landing in things that keep him comfortable in one place. I've watched him turn down jobs and not seek opportunities because he doesn't like them. But he doesn't even try. He might like it if he did

Off topic, but there were times, maybe a year ago when there'd just be messages and pictures from girls. But these girls were like 21-25. Just reflecting on things, I guess, but I know 35 year old women his age would never give him the time of day. Heck, I'm 27. And I'm getting to my wits end.

And I have tried. I have tried to make him interrogate why he's willing to even entertain girls that young. Like the fact that you can have conversations with these people in their early 20s is a huge problem.

Then theres other times when he says he keeps me around because it's getting harder and harder to find a woman with no kids.

I don't know what I'm saying anymore. But he took this job overseas, without telling anyone. And yes, it's an amazing opportunity and yes it's fun to travel. But it's not an excuse to do yet another thing that absolves him from any responsibility. And it sure doesn't pay any kind of salary

There is no nice way to say this. But I wish he'd get a job. And actually do the things that wouldn't leave him jealous of his friends Instagram posts. Money isn't everything. It really isn't. And this isn't about money at all. It's just that he's living life as if he were a college student. We met as grad students so I lived the same way too. But when Im with him, its like we're still college kids.

And I don't want to be a college student anymore. I want a grown up. And I want a grown up partner.

There's just genuinely no way to bring that up nicely or while avoiding the insecurities that already exist. But if we break up and he dates another 23 year old, I can't say I didn't warn him