#we love barry and his awesome fashion

[steakout-05]

i present,,, barry miku

[puckpocketed]

inspired by yesterday’s ovechkin-posting and the stick story, because. i had as much fun as anyone with the idea that riding a camel over all-star break is what jostled the goal-scoring back out of him, but at the same time... i am frothing at the fucking mouth about ovi × The League × national hockey media. where is his respect? where is his hype? where are his roses???? please !!!! understand !!!! that i find sidney endearing as a guy and he is undeniably incredible as a player and he deserves the love that he gets. but from day one, ovi has only existed to them in relation to sid and that makes me lose my fucking mind. 

and general hockey fans through the years loved ovi, and then they hated him, and then they said he was an overhyped washed-up old man who doesn't care anymore (starting in like 2013 lmfao). like, I'M sorry, back in the late '00s and early '10s he was being hounded for days about his cellies, and being booed every time he came out on the ice—and you're mad? that he looks like he's lost his love and enthusiasm for the game???? (i cannot for the LIFE of me find the podcast ep where i heard this, so. grain of salt. but a former teammate talked about how startling and upsetting ovi found the booing, bc it was such a sudden change, and meanwhile, ovi was just the same guy he’d always been 😭).

and then, idk, we went through hate again, and then indifference, and now in the 2020s we're back to "oh, his production has dropped so therefore he's overhyped, can’t wait ‘til he’s gone"?? the season ovi was 36 he had more points per game than sid did last year at 36 (90 in 77 vs 94 in 82). or how about. please remind me how many goals gretz scored the season he was 36 (25 goals compared to ovi's 50). or what about when gretz was 38 (9 goals compared to ovi's 31)? i am NOT trying to say that ovi is "better" than either of them—this is just me saying that people are completely irrational about him. like back when he was drafted and people were saying "oh, he's not actually as good as he looks, because he's lying about his age" bc he looked 25 instead of 18. like. okay lmao. and then what? his NINE rocket richards count less bc he started later? he's actually older now and scoring more per game than gordie howe was the first time he retired? like what are we doing here??? i'm not an empty-netters-pod guy, but they talked about it in the first few minutes of this ep; like... yeah, why was everyone so fucking excited to dance on his grave at the start of last season? and then again in the playoffs? he’s NOT DONE YET, and even if he were, i would hope to see a modicum of respect for the player he’s been and the career he’s had! 

the point is. ovi has scored 30+ goals per season every single year since his debut except the pandemic-shortened season. his teammates, current and former, love him and say what an awesome, generous, team-focused guy he is. he has literally dozens of nhl records already, some of them previously belonging to gretzky. and yet! general hockey fans and the league and national hockey media all refuse to take him seriously. and caps fans (mostly) and dc hockey media (mostly) (barry svrlugas i do not forgive you... dan holmi i would just like to have a fucking word with you....) are all just standing here like hello? alexander ovechkin is RIGHT HERE and he is very good at hockey. hello he is GOOD at HOCKEY, can you hear me????? is anyone seeing this, HELLO???? 

i don’t get it. i simply and entirely don’t get it. there are so many excellent players on teams that i hate! there are players i dislike and i can still point to many impressive things about their game!!! WHAT is the mental block that happens for everyone when it comes to ovi, and how tf has it been going strong for nineteen fucking years? 

thank you for listening!! i swear to you that the vast majority of the time i am simply having a fun time with whatever my terrible children decide to do, admiring ovi’s fashion choices, cheering on my number one babygirl dylan strome, and enjoying whatever horny, incomprehensible nonsense they get up to. it’s just that sometimes i gotta go guard dog mode about alex ovechkin 😅

Hello!!! First of all, thanks for going to all the trouble of typing all that out and including links. I have loved sifting through your citations, and felt very much like a floor dwelling sea creature eating nutrients from the silt <3

I believe you all when you say Ovechkin's not done yet. Shaking my entire clenched fin at everyone calling him a washed up old man!! Fascinated by the Caps' attempt to pivot into being competitive long enough for him to break the record, because what of the After? The Rebuild of Damocles beckons!! Except, having paid some attention to prospects I see they've got a pretty interesting crop of talent coming through. And there are those big contracts they just acquired (hello Dubie and Roy). I just feel like have to be on this train so I can say I was there to see how it all shakes out. History Witnessing type beat <3

and I'm SO endeared to Caps rituals. What little I've seen of them is so fun, so silly. Exactly my vibe. MUST a team "Play Hockey Well"?? can't they just be obsessed with each other . can't they torture and embarrass each other . being stressed about strange concepts such as ""Winning"" is so., passé .

Thank you again for dropping by and for the essay! and I'm sorry it took so long to get back to you, it was such a meal I was digesting it for days :>

extended thoughts/discussion under the cut.

From the outside looking in, I think can speak to how compelling it is to pit Crosby and Ovechkin against each other. As your ESPN article puts it: "Crosby was careful, corporate. Ovechkin was unpredictable, borderline dangerous. The key word was passion, and even though Crosby had it inside, Ovechkin oozed it. He was the anti-Sid, possibly the better player, and soon a cult hero." (x, y) I know you're frustrated by this, but they do sort of exist in relation to each other. Maybe I've fallen for the propaganda, but it's very literary <3 You could write their story down and present it to a novel studies class, and the easiest thread to pull on would be all the ways in which they're each other's narrative foils.

IF you held a gun to my head and made me guess at the 'why' of it, I'd probably agree with Eric Adelson! It really does feel like Crosby's image is who hockey wants to be seen as. A Good Canadian Boy; humble, no conspicuous expressions of his wealth, no partying, and of course no on-ice flash! I think I can understand the backlash somewhat; in such a team-oriented game, one with all these arcane honour codes and the emphasis on humility and respect and not rocking the boat, I could see why the spectacle of Ovechkin's personality would've grated. Crosby's an easier pill to swallow for the conservatism of hockey culture. (And I specified 'image' because there's the reality of what it is to be famous, deified, and torn apart each time you don't quite measure up. I hate to be the guy who says there's another side to this but, like, I'm sure plenty of people who are more familiar with Crosby's story could come out and tell me about the unique challenges that come with being considered The Next One.)

And obviously, your specific frustration is coming from the fact that Ovechkin is, somehow, seen as the inferior superstar, and that his achievements - which either equal or surpass Crosby's - go uncelebrated by mainstream media. and ough. man. I'm not as invested in this as you given I just got here, but your emotion is palpable!! I have... complicated feelings about his whole deal wrt geopolitics I won't lie, but I am serious about the whole "Is it the Russian thing?" I wouldn't, like, submit this as a legal document or anything, and I doubt I'd be the first to point it out, but there has to be a level of Othering that comes from his nationality, right?

So there's my thesis: he's not like them, he's not from there, and his image is not who they want for a star. Being so undeniably good for so long probably bought him some time in their good books, but the moment he looked a little bit mortal any grace they had to give was dispensed with. It sucks for you as a fan of course </3 I don't mean to sound so morbidly curious about it all,,, like i get that a real wrong was done to Ovechkin by the establishment that refused to recognise him!! But . well. I'm looking at this through a nonfiction writer's lens. I do hope someone who was there for the whole thing writes a book or two about this, because it would make for a really interesting story. I get the feeling people will look back on this stretch of time and think the world went a bit crazy for believing Alex Ovechkin was done.

[crookshanks23]

Season 1, Episode 42: Henry's Father and the Chamber of Secrets

Favorite moment: No one single moment. I just love this episode.

General thoughts:

I love this episode so much. I've listened to it A LOT. Henry has some great monologues. And we get lore. And goofs. Mr. Mustache dog. So good.

My favorite episodes are the ones that combine all the elements: got some funny stuff, some drama, some lore. It's great.

The lore: the backstory for Henry, the tie in to the Doodler and At the Mountains of Dadness is great. It makes this whole world feel lived in, and ties everything together (including season 2) in a really wonderful way.

The drama: Henry's conversation with his mom is heartbreaking, as are the moments with Lark and Sparrow. And the confrontation with Barry is just awesome. Love it.

The goofs: Mr. Mustache dog! It reveals Mr. Mustache and he gets to be a dog?? Yes, please.

Love these kinds of episodes - my absolute favorite.

Next time - some good old-fashioned, "I hate my dad because he stole my children" combat.

[thealmightyemprex]

Halloweenathon Bonus :My experience seeing a screening Rocky Horror Picture Show

So for those who dont know,Rocky Horror Picture Show is possibly the most beloved cult movie of all time ,a fun mix of being transgressive, b movie aesthetics ,camp and plain sexiness ,Now I am NOT reviewing the movie,but if you want my thoughts,its a fun ride and a go to Halloween film for me headlined by a tour de force performance by Tim Curry .Now I have seen this film a dozen times ,its been a favorite since I was 13(Also had the pleasure of meeting Barry Bostwick who plays the "Hero " Brad not long ago at a con ) .....But theres a tradition I had no partaked in until last night :The late night screening

Now Rocky Horror is beloved now ,but it was a flop when it came out and only through midnight showing has it become a landmark .For 47 years hasbeen a staple,with people dressing up and shouting things at the screen,to put it simply Rocky Horror is one of those films that has become a PHENOMENON .Now every Halloween I try to see a classic spooky movie on the big screen :I've seen the Shining,I've seen Nightmare on Elm Street, and I've seen The Phantom of the Opera 1943 ,and this year I thought it was time to finally see this classic musical the way it should

Now for those not familiar with Rocky HorrorPicture Show :SEe the movie on its own first THEN see it with an audience,its more fun that way

Now I was just expecting JUST a screening...Not the case .First off The line went around the block,it was a pretty full house (In a ver gorgeous old fashioned theater ),it was hosted by a comedian whose style basically reminded me of a queer Phylis Diller which I mean as a compliment ,and before the movie there were a few events

1.A actual concert by a band called Alchematic who were very good (Did covers of Come Together by the Beatles and Clint Eastwood by the Gorillaz which is awesome )

2.Those of us who had never been to one of these screenings ALL were marked as Rocky Horror Virgins with V's marked on our foreheads with lipstick

3.A Rocky Horror costume contest where people who were dressed as the characters came on stage and were voted on who was the best and won T Shirts

Finally we watched the movie.....And it was more like a rock show or something then any film experienceI ever had .People were bouncing balloons ,tossed toilet paper ,noise makers were used ,people shouted out jokes (My favorite being to an image of Atlas every one started singing "He's got the whole world in his hands"),people were cheering especially when Tim Curry was on scree,and applauded his final song ,people houted out iconic line and of course,we all sang along especially to Sweet Transvestite .At the end of the night we all danced the time warp

Seeing it with an audience just energized me.I love the film already ,but it made it more of a party,its a completely diffrent experience then watching it on its own . Overall this was one of the most fun experiences I ever have had ,and the best experience ever watching a film

@ariel-seagull-wings @metropolitan-mutant-of-ark @themousefromfantasyland @the-blue-fairie @amalthea9 @angelixgutz @filmcityworld1

[gogogobarry]

It’s an unannounced visit on a temperate June morning —- when her lifelong bestie takes his first steps outside, Hikari is already there to greet him on the front porch ; a large black box, adorned with a scattering of lightning bolts, is clutched within her hands ( she gives him no time to inquire about its contents ):“ Limited-edition Luxray coat with luminescent bolts. ” Just like his Shinx PJ’s. “ Some brand’s anniversary. It was a hassle. ” Sigh ( yet she smiles now ). “ Happy birthday. ”

HAPPY (BELATED) BIRTHDAY, BARRY!

The morning begins like any other: Barry bursts out of bed, runs downstairs in his timeless Shinx pajamas, and throws open the front door excitedly, ready to wake up the rest of Twinleaf Town with his usual early ritual.

“Goooood morning, Twinl-augh! Oh hey, Hika...!”

Shock quickly turns to happiness as Barry notices his best friend waiting on the front porch, an unusual box cradled in her arms. Hikari doesn’t even seem fazed by his startled reaction (perhaps she’d been expecting it...she knows him better than almost anyone, after all) so Barry decides to just play it cool as the former champion explains her surprise visit. However, he can’t entirely keep the grin off his face. She remembered...and what an awesome-sounding gift!

“Some brand’s anniversary?! You’re not talking about that mega-exclusive streetwear launch event in Amity Square, are you? I heard that they didn’t even allow every Gym Leader to attend...Candice was so mad...” Barry pauses to carefully lift the box out of Hikari’s grasp, setting it down to pop open the lightning-adorned top. His jaw hits the floor upon seeing its contents, and he can only look up at his friend with wide, shocked eyes. “Arceus, Hika...you didn’t.”

But she did. And Barry’s excited expression says everything as he extracts the flashy coat from its confines, beaming as he hugs the warm material close to his chest. “Are you kidding me?! This is so awesome! I’m totally gonna wear this all winter...and whenever I visit Snowpoint, or trek up Mount Coronet again...you get the picture! Wow! An exclusive jacket from the Thunderbolt Project!”

Unable to resist any longer, Barry throws the coat on (tags and all) and tries out a few cool poses in the new fit. “How do I look, Hika?” he asks eagerly, flashing his best friend a pair of finger guns to elevate his coolness to levels unseen. “Move over Volkner, am I right?!”

Barry revels in the moment for a bit longer before carefully stowing the jacket in its box once again. The smile on his face--ever genuine--falters for just a moment as a flash of fleeting guilt crosses his features. “I love the jacket, Hika...but I’m thinking about how you probably had to sit through the fashion show, deal with paparazzi, cope with stuck-up Amity Square organizers...I know that’s not your scene. You must’ve hated it. So the fact that you went out of your way to get this...” he pauses to gesture at the coat with an apologetic look, “...makes it extra, extra special to me. I appreciate your sacrifice, Sinnohan.”

Barry offers Hikari a jaunty salute before stepping forward to give her a quick (but heartfelt) hug. “Thanks, Hika. I owe you big time for this one.”

“...Now, what’re you doing for the rest of today? We should show off the new threads to Professor Rowan! Or we could go hiking...or just walk around Jubilife...in the coat, of course...”

Newly reinvigorated by his friend’s unexpected visit, Barry’s mind is always, always moving forward. Even if he’s still wearing his Shinx pajamas.

[longitudinalwaveme]

Smoke and Mirrors

Dramatis Personae

Wally West, the energetic, enthusiastic, and confident third Flash

Iris Allen, the wife of Barry Allen and a daredevil reporter

Mirror Master, alias Sam Scudder, a talented inventor and the de facto second-in-command of the Rogues

The Top, alias Roscoe Dillon, an arrogant elitist who is suffering from a mysterious disease

Weather Wizard, alias Mark Mardon, a rather dimwitted thief with an obscenely powerful weapon, the weather wand

The Trickster, alias James Jesse, a charming con man with no fashion sense

Script

Act I

(Enter Wally West and Iris Allen, who has just arrived to the Flash Airport of Central City)

Wally: Hi, Aunt Iris! How have you been? It’s so nice to have you back!

Iris: Hi, Wally. It’s good to be back. How’s your Uncle Barry been?

Wally: He’s been great. Really slow since he lost his super speed, of course, but otherwise, he’s fine. He even took down the Trickster all by himself!

Iris: I heard. It made a great story. (Pause) How have he and Bart been doing since I went on my trip?

Wally: Bart’s still really impulsive, and he scared Uncle Barry half to death when he ran to New York City and watched an off-off-Broadway show without telling anyone, but overall he’s been doing great. Uncle Barry enrolled him in sixth grade and he’s become friends with this girl named Carol and this boy named Preston, and he’s finally kind of adjusting to life outside the speed force. He’s still not crazy about Irey and Jai, though-he thinks they’re annoying tagalongs. Oh, and he discovered anchovy pizza for the first time, and, for some reason, he loves it! He’s eaten 45 slices in the past two days, and Uncle Barry says that he thinks he’ll single-handedly keep the neighborhood pizza place in business. (Pause) How was your trip?

Iris: I loved it! There’s nothing quite like the thrill of investigating the government of Kandaq.

Wally: But isn’t Kandaq led by Black Adam?

Iris: Yes. That’s why it was so much fun to investigate what he’s been up to! Before I did some snooping around, no one knew what he was doing because everyone was too scared to check, so I was able to write the biggest exposé of my career and take down a supervillain at the same time. It was awesome! I even got to interview Captain Marvel after he rescued me from Black Adam.

Wally: No wonder you won a Pulitzer. (Pause) So, besides risking your life, did you do anything else in Kandaq? I’ve heard it has delicious food.

Iris: (Laughs) Of course you would focus on the food.

Wally: Well, is it as good as Dick told me?

Iris: Actually, yes. The spices in particular are delicious-and unique to the country, too!

Wally: I’ll be right back. (Wally exits, then rapidly re-enters) That was delicious!

Iris: That’s my Wally. (Pause) And to finish answering your question, besides eating and investigating, I did a lot of sightseeing and even more souvenir-buying.

Wally: Sounds fun!

Iris: It was. (Pause) And in speaking of souvenirs….. (Pulls t-shirt out of bag) This is for you.

Wally: (takes shirt, reads) “I stood in the presence of the all-powerful Black Adam and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” (Laughs) Thanks, Aunt Iris! I love it!

Iris: I thought you might. I also got a doll of Isis for Irey, a book on Kandaq’s history for Jai, a longer book on the same subject for your Uncle Barry, a necklace for Linda, a fan for Joan, a scrapbook for Jay, and Captain Marvel’s signature and promise to visit our house for Bart.

Wally: Sweet! (Pause) Do you have all your bags?

Iris: Yes, I do.

Wally: Then let’s get you home! (Pause, then in “official” voice) The West Delivery Service will get you there in three seconds, or your money back!

Iris: (Laughs) Definitely my Wally.

(Both Exit)

Act II

(Top is onstage, sitting at table and talking on the phone)

Top: (on the phone) Greetings, my darling. How are you? (Pause) Excellent. I’m glad to hear it. How fares the mission? (Pause) What sort of complications? You know as well as I do that I haven’t much time. If you do not find a cure soon, my powers will quite literally be the death of me. We do not have time for failure! (Pause) I’m sorry, honeybunch. I did not mean to snap at you. I am simply anxious. Even I cannot come out on top in a battle with the grave. (Pause) Of course I trust you, sweetums. Remember though, my darling, if my calculations are correct, I only have a month left. We must get the cure! (Pause) Well that, at least, is good news. If Allen likes you, it will not be long before he is willing to trust you enough to help you find the cure. (Pause) I love you, dearest. Farewell. (Puts phone away and puts on earmuffs) And now to enjoy my meal in peace.

(Enter Trickster, Mirror Master, and Weather Wizard)

Weather Wizard: So, how’d you guys find me?

Trickster: It’s simple, Wiz! We followed the reports of snowstorms in July.

Mirror Master: You aren’t exactly subtle, Mardon.

Weather Wizard: Fair enough. I guess being able to control the weather doesn’t leave much room for subtlety. (Pause) So, what do you two want?

Mirror Master: Your help. If there’s anyone who can keep the Flash away from our heists, it’s you. You’re more powerful than all of us-even me.

Weather Wizard: I know.

Trickster: And you’re modest, too.

Weather Wizard: Hey, if you could control the weather with a flick of the wrist, you’d be a little arrogant, too.

Trickster: Fair enough. (Pause) Say, last I heard, your wand was busted. How’d you get it working again?

Weather Wizard: (Defensively) None of your business. I just did, okay?

Trickster: (Suspiciously) Oh, really? Then let me see the wand.

Weather Wizard: No! You can’t touch it!

Trickster: Why not?

Weather Wizard: Because it’s mine, and you aren’t gonna touch it!

Trickster: (Grabs wand) Too late! I already have it!

Weather Wizard: Give it back! (Tries to grab wand, but fails and falls on his face)

Trickster: All right, Mr. Weather Wand. Make it rain! Bippity boppity boo! (Waves wand, nothing happens) That’s funny. I thought you said you fixed the wand, Wiz.

Weather Wizard: (Gets to his feet and grabs the wand back) Okay, so I exaggerated about being able to fix it. I’ve used the weather wand long enough that I was able to do a patch job and get it to make some snow, but it’s pretty much useless for any other form of weather. I can’t even make it whip up a decent blizzard!

Mirror Master: All you can make is snow? (Trickster notices the Top)

Weather Wizard: (Weakly) Yeah.

Mirror Master: Well, that’s just great. Here I was thinking that we had tornadoes, lighting, and hail on our side, and all we have is a glorified snow machine! (Pause) And when were you planning on mentioning the fact that you can’t make anything but snow, anyway? When the Flash showed up to take us to jail?

Weather Wizard: Well, to be honest, I hadn’t really thought out that far. I was trying to save face, not come up with a battle plan.

Mirror Master: (Despondently) There goes my Ferrari.

Trickster: Don’t give up on the Ferrari just yet, Sam! I have a way to salvage our heist!

Mirror Master: James, I already told you. I am not going to use a “whoopie cushion of doom” to stop the Flash. Unlike you, I have some dignity.

Trickster: First, the Whoopie Cushion of Doom is high comedy, and you should be honored that I offered to let you use it. Second, that’s not it.

Mirror Master: Then what is it?

Trickster: It’s the Top! He’s sitting right over there! (Points to Top)

Mirror Master: (Surprised) So he is.

Weather Wizard: What’s he doing here? I thought he and Golden Glider were in Hawaii on the fifth anniversary of their first date or something.

Mirror Master: Who knows with those two. Maybe they came home early.

Trickster: Came home early ? They never went ! They’ve been in Central City this whole time!

Weather Wizard: They have? But then why did they tell everyone that they were on vacation?

Mirror Master: Probably so they could spend time together without Captain Cold breathing down their necks. Given how overprotective he is, if I was dating Lisa, I would probably pretend to be out of the city, too. It’s hard to have romantic moments when you know that her big brother’s watching and will maim you if you look at her funny.

Trickster: Nah, that’s not it. If Roscoe was afraid of Captain Cold, he wouldn’t challenge his authority all the time. I think they’re planning something, something they want to keep secret from the rest of us, and I want to find out what it is. (Taps Top on shoulder) Hiya, Top!

Top: (Takes off earmuffs; Aside) Why me? (To Trickster) What do you want?

Trickster: Well, Mirror Master wants a Ferrari, and I want some excitement, so we need your help to rob the jewelry store on Fifth and Main.

Top: I am afraid that you will be disappointed. I am quite busy, and am being pressed to the top of my bent. I have no time for frivolities, Giovanni.

Weather Wizard: Giovanni? Who’s Giovanni?

Trickster: Me.

Mirror Master: You gave the Top an alias when he asked for your real name?

Trickster: (“Offended”) No! I’d never do anything like that! (Pause) I didn’t give him an alias when he asked for my real name. I gave you two an alias!

Weather Wizard: Your real name’s Giovanni?  

Trickster: Yep! Giovanni Giuseppi. My family is Italian.

Mirror Master: Then why do you always go by James Jesse?

Trickster: Because Jesse was our family’s stage name from the circus. Since we used an alias in our performances, I got used to being called James, so I eventually decided to just start using it as my regular name. Besides, it’s easier to say than Giovanni Giuseppi.

Mirror Master: Well, whoever you are, clearly, your plan failed. Dillon doesn’t want to get involved in our plan, and so it’ll be a bust.

Trickster: (Aside) Oh, ye of little faith. (To Mirror Master) I’ll be able to get him to come around. Trust me.

Mirror Master: Forgive me if I’m less than convinced. (Trickster walks over to Top)

Trickster: (To Top) What if I told you that there would be something in it for you?

Top: I would still refuse. As I already told you, I am quite preoccupied. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going home.

Trickster: (Stopping Top) Top, old buddy, just hear me out. If you don’t like it, I promise you can leave, but you’ve gotta at least learn what it is.

Top: We are not “old buddies”, but, since you seem determined to annoy me until I listen to what you have to say, I suppose I will give in to the inevitable and allow you to speak. But be quick about it. I am giving you five minutes- tops .

Trickster: You know what? Never mind. It was silly of me to think you would be motivated by something as small as an engagement ring. (Moves out of Top’s way; To Mirror Master and Weather Wizard) Come on, guys, let’s go. I’m sure I’ll be able to come up with something else.

Top: What was that about an engagement ring?

Trickster: Oh, you wouldn’t be interested in it, I’m sure.

Top: You are mistaken. Do tell me what you think I will get out of this heist.

Trickster: Are you sure? If you really are busy, I don’t want to bother you.

Top: No, no. I am fine. Please, tell me what you mean.

Trickster: Well, if you insist…..A few months ago, Lisa told me that she saw the perfect engagement ring at the jewelry store that we’re planning to rob, and that she would be thrilled if you proposed to her with it. But like I said, if you don’t want to help us….

Top: (Quickly) If it will please Lisa, I would very much like to help ensure that you come out on top .

Trickster: Great! Glad to have you aboard, pal!

Mirror Master: (Draws Trickster aside) How could you have talked to Glider “a few months ago”? You spent the last six months on a cross-country swindling trip and didn’t get back until three weeks ago!

Trickster: (Aside to Mirror Master) That’s right…..but he doesn’t know that.

Mirror Master: (Aside to Trickster) Clever.

Trickster: (Aside to Mirror Master) I know, right?  (Aloud) So, what’s the plan?

Act III

(Enter Wally and Iris)

Wally: Is there anything else you need me to do, Aunt Iris?

Iris: Wally, you’ve already gotten me home from the airport, unpacked all my bags, put everything away, pulled everything out when you put everything away wrong, put everything away in the right places, delivered my letter to your Grandpa Ira in Florida, fixed my car, and repainted the garage. You’ve done enough.

Wally: Aww, it was nothing, Aunt Iris.

Iris: It wasn’t nothing. That was a lot of work, and I really appreciate it. (Pause) By the way, you haven’t eaten much since you brought me home. You should probably get some food.

Wally: Good idea, Aunt Iris! (Wally exits, then quickly re-enters) I love Japanese food!

Iris: Did you really run all the way to Japan just to get food? Wally: Why not? I can get there and back in three seconds!

Iris: (laughs) Oh, Wally. You’ve gotta stop doing that before it rubs off on Bart.

Wally: I think it might be too late for that. He’s already running to New York City to watch off-off-Broadway, after all.

Iris: I know, but now that Barry doesn’t have his super speed, we need to dissuade him from doing that again. We can’t be calling you all the time because we can’t bring him back when he disappears to another continent. Without at least one parent with super speed, he needs to stay close to home so that we can help him if he gets into trouble.

Wally: I don’t mind bringing him home.

Iris: Yes, but I’m pretty sure your boss will mind if you have to keep leaving work to bring Bart home from Namibia or Laos or Bithynia.

Wally: But he knows I’m the Flash! I have to leave work all the time!

Iris: True, but there’s a difference between leaving work to stop crime or save people and leaving work to track down your cousin who went on a joyride.

Wally: Yeah, you probably have a point there.

Iris: As soon as he and Barry get home from their trip to the park, I’ll have Barry sit him down and have a little chat with him about running off to other states or foreign countries-assuming that he can focus long enough to get the message, that is.

Wally: Hey, do you mind if I stick around until they get back? I wanted to talk to Uncle Barry about the Rogues’ latest escape from jail.

Iris: Of course you can stay here! (Pause) And why didn’t you tell me that the Rogues escaped? That always makes for a good news story!

Wally: I don’t really know a lot about how it happened yet, so I guess it just slipped my mind.

Iris: In that case, I’ll have to do some investigating to find out how….after Barry, Bart, and I have our little chat, of course.

Wally: Have I ever told you that you’re awesome, Aunt Iris?

Iris: Not lately.

Wally: Well, you’re awesome. (Phone rings) Sorry! I have to get that! (Pulls out phone) Hello? (Pause) Oh, hi, Mrs. Rowen. Why are you calling? (Pause) Suspension? Why? They’re only kindergartners! (Pause) They did what? (Pause) Well, yes, I’m sure that the school having all its windows broken by dual sonic booms would be problematic, but they don’t know how to control their speed. I know they didn’t do it maliciously. (Pause) $600,000? Wow….That is a lot of money. I’m really sorry. I didn’t even know they were moving at supersonic speeds yet. Did anyone get hurt? (Pause) Two teachers are going to need stitches? Oh, no. I’m really sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry. (Pause) Yes, of course I’ll come meet with you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I’ll be right there. Bye. (Puts phone away) Looks like I won’t be able to talk to Uncle Barry. My kids shattered all the windows at the elementary school when they accidentally created a sonic boom, and now I have to meet with their principal. I swear, parenting super-powered children is a million times harder than fighting supervillains. At least with supervillains, I don’t have to pay for the damages that they cause. I’ve gotta run. Bye!

(Exit Wally)

Iris: It’s at times like these that I’m glad Bart stayed in the Speed Force until he was old enough to know how to control his speed. (Pause) In speaking of Bart, there he and his dad are now. Hopefully, Bart will cooperate with the limits he sets on his travel, because if not, I’m not sure that Barry and I will be able to enforce them. Even Wally wasn’t as impulsive as Bart is.

Act IV (Enter Top, Trickster, Mirror Master, and Weather Wizard. Trickster is wielding a fearsome rubber chicken and a kazoo)

Mirror Master: Did everyone make it through the Mirror Realm all right?

Top: I feel more than a little nauseous, but otherwise, I am fine, since we managed to arrive at our intended destination.

Mirror Master: What are you implying?

Top: Nothing. It is simply that I would feel far more comfortable if I knew that the realm through which we traveled so shortly ago was controlled by a man who had at least completed his secondary education and who hailed from somewhere other than the part of town colloquially known as “Skid Row”. In all candor, your credentials do not inspire confidence.

Mirror Master: Hey, I might not have your fancy education, but I’m just as smart as you. How else do you think I discovered an entire alternate dimension?

Top: My supposition would be that the goddess Fortuna smiled upon an unworthy candidate with the freakish caprice for which she is known.

Mirror Master: Are you saying I just got lucky?

Top: Indeed.

Mirror Master: You’ve got some nerve, Dillon! I worked for years to learn how the Mirror Realm worked! Just because I’m from Skid Row doesn’t mean I’m stupid!

Top: My experience, and the experiences of my father, would suggest otherwise.

Trickster: Girls, girls, girls . You’re both pretty. Now, let’s start the heist already! I already deactivated the alarms, but they’ll come back on eventually. And besides, I’m bored!

Weather Wizard: Trickster’s right. I already created enough snow to slow down the cops, but that won’t hold them forever, and it won’t hold our friend in the red pajamas at all. We need to hurry.

Mirror Master: Well, if the Top is ready, so am I.

Top: I was not the one delaying us, but I am quite prepared to proceed in our enterprise. (To Trickster, as Weather Wizard and Mirror Master start grabbing jewelry) Where is the engagement ring that my beloved desires?

Trickster: (Looks around at the various rings) Let’s see…..I know it’s around here somewhere ….. (Finds a particularly ostentatious ring and points at it) Oh! There it is!

Top: Are you certain that that is what she desires? It seems a bit gaudy for her tastes.

Trickster: Of course I’m sure! (Aside) And I’m not lying. I’m sure she’ll hate it, and I’m sure that learning that he got outsmarted by a circus brat will take Mr.Phony British Accent down a few pegs. He’s smart, but he’s not nearly as smart as he thinks he is.

Top: You have my gratitude, Giovanni. (Takes ring) Is there nothing that you are inclined to take?

Trickster: Not really. I’m here to put on a show, not to take money. (Pulls out bottle of paint) Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to replace the bathroom sinks’ water with paint.

(Exit Trickster; Top analyzes jewelry and slowly begins to select the sophisticated jewelry)

Mirror Master: (To Weather Wizard) I know I said that I was getting a Ferrari, but I’ve been thinking it over, and I think I might get a Lamborghini instead. What do you think?

Weather Wizard: Which one’s faster?

Mirror Master: I’m not sure. Except for a three-day period where I was in possession of W. W. Wiggins’s stolen Ferrari, I’ve never actually owned a car.

Weather Wizard: (Surprised) You’ve never owned a car? How’s that possible? Before I became the Weather Wizard, I was the world’s biggest loser, and even I had a car. I mean, granted, I crashed it into a tree, but I had one!

Mirror Master: (Defensive) I grew up in the inner city. Have you seen the traffic in the interior of Central City? It’s a nightmare! There’s a reason everyone takes the subway to work. The traffic gets so jammed that cars are basically useless.

Weather Wizard: But you still live in the inner city. If there’s no use for one, why do you want it so bad?

Mirror Master: (Angrily) Because I’m tired of being poor! I’ve spent my entire life either in jail or in tiny two-room apartments on Baker Street, and I’m sick of it! I’m sick of always being behind on rent, I’m sick of wearing other people’s cast-offs, and I’m SICK of Roscoe implying that I’m stupid! I want a car because it would be a sign that I finally have enough money to get off of Skid Row! People would have to give me some respect then!  

Weather Wizard: If it makes you feel any better, without the weather wand, nobody gives me any respect, either. The only reason that I’m here right now is to earn back the reputation I lost when it broke. I don’t really need the money.

Mirror Master: You don’t?

Weather Wizard: Nah. I won a $20,000 poker game a few weeks ago.

Mirror Master: But you’re terrible at poker!

Weather Wizard: (Shrugs) I was playing against an 18-year-old who had just inherited his daddy’s company and had never played a game in his life.

Mirror Master: And Dillon says I’M the one who gets lucky!

Weather Wizard: Don’t take it personally, Sam. He’s a jerk to everyone-except Lisa, that is.

Mirror Master: What does she see in him, anyway?

Weather Wizard: That, my friend, is one of the great mysteries of life. He’s not even that attractive!

Top: (Comes over) It is not so mysterious as that. Unlike the rest of you ruffians, I am a man of birth, breeding, and education. Our relationship is a great boon for her social status, especially given the “trailer trash” from whence she comes-to use a colloquialism, of course-and I am certainly better company than any of you could hope to provide. Her selection of me as a paramor proves that she, alone among you “Rogues”, has taste.

Mirror Master: (Sarcastically) Yeah, you’re a real prince, Dillon.

(Alarm goes off)

Weather Wizard: Oh, no! The alarm! We must’ve lost track of time, and now the Flash is gonna show up and make me a laughingstock all over again!

(Enter Trickster)

Trickster: Where’s the Flash? He should be here by now!

Mirror Master: Who cares? Let’s get outta here!

Trickster: Wait! I want to fight the Flash! It’s no fun if I don’t get to fight the Flash!

Mirror Master: Trickster, we got what we came for! Now let’s go!

(All exit quickly, Mirror Master dragging a flailing Trickster)

Act V

(Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Top, and Trickster are onstage, sitting. Trickster is pouting)

Weather Wizard: We...we actually did it?

Top: Obviously. We are here and not in jail, are we not?

Weather Wizard: I know that, I just can’t believe that we actually did it! We never get away with heists this big!

Mirror Master: You’re right, Mardon. It’s been over four years since we had a heist that the Flash didn’t stop….and we got away with it!

Weather Wizard: So, what do we do now?

Mirror Master: I….I don’t know. It’s been years since we got away with anything, so I haven’t had a plan beyond “get away” in years.

Weather Wizard: I guess you can buy your car now.

Mirror Master: Yeah. I guess so. (Sighs) It’s so weird that we’re not in jail right now.

Weather Wizard: Tell me about it. I haven’t had a run of luck this good in ages!

Top: It is not so peculiar as you are treating it. After all, I accompanied you on this heist, something I have not often done. It is not, therefore, terribly surprising that you were successful-I enabled you to come out on top .

Mirror Master: Dillon, do the world a favor and shut up. I’m not in the mood for your attitude.

Weather Wizard: (To Trickster) Hey, James, why are you so upset? We just got away with a million dollars! You should be on cloud nine!

Trickster: I’m upset because the Flash didn’t show up! He’s what makes crime exciting! Since he wasn’t there and we did it at night, I didn’t have an audience, and it wasn’t any fun! Besides, escaping changes up the game. How are we supposed to start the game over if we don’t get captured and have to escape again?

Weather Wizard: Now that you mention it, I did feel like our heist was lacking in that rush. It’s hard to feel excited when there’s no danger that you might be stopped.

Mirror Master: Yeah. It’s not enjoyable to beat him when he doesn’t even show up. (Pause) But hey, at least we’re rich now, right?

Weather Wizard: (Without confidence) Right. And I’m sure we’ll be able to come up with something to do. It’ll be great!

Trickster: (Petulantly) No, it won’t. The game’s been ruined!

Mirror Master: How has it been ruined? You don’t need the Flash to trick people.

Trickster: No, I don’t, but it’s not the same. I came back to Central City to play the game, and now the game has been ruined because the Flashes won’t play!

Weather Wizard: (Too cheerfully) Hey, why don’t we go get some ice cream? That’ll make us all feel better.

Mirror Master: Sure, why not?

Trickster: I guess so. But only if I can get gummy bears and rainbow sprinkles.

Top: I will pass on that offer. I have fulfilled my part of the agreement and must get back to work.

Weather Wizard: Okay. More for us, I guess.

Mirror Master: (Mutters) Good riddance.

Trickster: I had better get two dips, too.

(Exit Trickster, Mirror Master, and Weather Wizard)

Top: Ahh. Peace and quiet at last. (Pulls out cell phone) Hello, Lisa, darling. This is Roscoe. How fares the mission? (Pause) Allen is willing to help you get the cure? Good. Good. Very good. You, my sweet, are a veritable Sarah Siddons. (Pause) Oh, my apologies. I thought that was common knowledge. Sarah Siddons was a famous Shakespearean actress who was renowned for her life-like portrayal of Lady Macbeth in the 19th century, and you are quite as talented an actress. (Pause) Oh! I almost forgot. I have pleasant news as well, honeybunch. I appropriated the engagement ring that you so desired! (Pause) Wait, you never picked out a ring for that purpose? My profuse apologies, sweetums. It seems that I was misinformed. (Pause) Don’t worry, my dearest darling. The pain has been quite manageable, and given what you have just told me, I have no fear for my life. (Pause) Thank you, darling. Your snuggle-bunny loves you, too. Good-bye. (Puts phone away) TRICK-STER!

(Scene change. Enter Wally, in jewelry store)

Wally: Aw, come on! I’m getting sued by the school district AND I let the Rogues get away? Man, this just isn’t my day! (Pause) Oh, well. If there’s one thing that Uncle Barry’s taught me, it’s that a true hero never gives up. I’m sure to find them eventually-especially since they aren’t exactly subtle. (Pause) And if there’s one good thing about all this, it’s that things can’t possibly get worse! I’ll go get a quick snack, and then I’ll find Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry so that we can take down those Rogues- in a Flash!

[jasontoddiefor]

Sunday Batfam Fanfic Recs!

Welcome to my second Sunday Batfam Fic Rec list!

Since the first list was such a success, I’ve decided to actually do this weekly! What is ‘this’ you ask?

Easy! Every Sunday I’ll recommend Batfam fanfics of a specific theme. The first week was Batman Beyond/Time Travel, then we had a Spooky Halloween Special and, finally, this week’s theme is…

Billionaire Batfam, Social Media & Galas!

If you want to, you can request a theme and I’ll try to find fanfictions for that!

Here’s my Batfam Fanfiction Rec Tag.

That being said, have fun reading 30 fanfictions and please leave these lovely authors a comment!

Title: #BayneIsCanon Summary: Gotham ships Batman and Bruce Wayne. He's not really sure how to feel about it. #trainwreck #bayne #scandal Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17226011

Title: #gotham is trending Summary: thghhhh: ahhhhh, i'm back in gotham. can't wait to get back to a supervillain attack every other day. i've missed this. [the city of gotham, it's vigilantes, and resident billionaires - as seen through social media] Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12331965

Title: (Dance) Lessons Summary: “STOP!” Cass shouted, suddenly appearing between them. “No talking. No fun.” she gave each one a glare. “Only… dancing.” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13205775

Title: (that moment when) A Supehero Replies to You Summary: Dick Grayson, as any good millennial, is an avid fan of Buzzfeed: Unsolved. So, when Shane and Ryan discuss the death of Jason Todd, Dick can't help but laugh. Laugh, and then film the reactions of the batfamily when they find out....in costume. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18561994

Title: a hat fashioned from tin foil Summary: nightwang @karakurachou – 8 hours ago jason todd is alive and faked his death so he could become robin: a conspiracy theory thread. Batfam conspiracy theories meet social media. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356020

Title: and it comes back again Summary:  Bruce “I accidentally slipped and fell across the room, took out three tables and broke a desk with your body as I ACCIDENTALLY fell on you also you’re going to jail” Wayne takes his young protégé down the rewarding path of revenge. Link:  https://archiveofourown.org/works/14268537

Title: Brother Bear Summary: Dick slips a Disney reference into a speech, Tim only realizes because Jason sneaks into his own memorial gala to finish the quote. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21036350

Title: Bruce got Therapy instead Summary: “I’m twenty four and have yet to find a partner,” Bruce stated, not looking up from the paper. “While true, I hardly think that is a subject to worry over right now. Many people your age have yet to meet someone they desire to spend the rest of their life with.” “It’s...I don’t really have a problem with the fact that I haven’t met anyone.” A pause where Bruce took a contemplative sip of his coffee. Alfred patiently waited for the young man to say what was actually going through his mind. “Well, the Manor seems rather...empty, don’t you think?” He finally looked up to his butler. Alfred fully turned to Bruce, his free hand held behind his back. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what point you’re trying to make, sir.” “I’m thinking about adopting, Alf.” OR: A world in which Bruce Wayne got therapy instead of becoming Batman. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20634062

Title: Chase You Down Until You Love Me Summary: The Waynes make a sport of their high profile in the media during yet another boring gala. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4102315

Title: Diversionary Tactic Summary:  Jason, from his early days as Robin to his later days as Red Hood, has had a unique skill set. It ends up being weirdly useful and also possibly the grossest way to have a father-son relationship moment, but hey, that’s life. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624390

Title: Favorite Parts Summary: There are things Cass loves about Wayne parties, and things she does not. What she loves most is seeing her Father act himself at those parties. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11195331

Title: Gala Night Summary: "What if I use the wrong fork at dinner?" "You won't" "But what if I do?" Bruce arched an eyebrow "Do you seriously think that none of the kids ever used the wrong fork?" [...] Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16397771

Title: Getting out of a Gala Summary: In a world where Bruce found Jason closer to nine and his fallout with Dick wasn't that bad, Jason gets forced to attend a gala. Luckily, or unluckily for him, he ends up getting out of it partway through. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15968498

Title: Gotham’s Top Ten Memes Summary: Every city has its pride and Gotham isn't different. We love our “dark and gloomy” architecture (meet us in the Batburgers parking lot Metropolis) and our Waynes, our vigilantes and most importantly: Our memes. So, without much further ado, we present you Gotham’s top ten memes. Gotham, the Waynes and the Bats through the eyes of social media. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19283281

Title: Happy Little Accidents Summary: Bruce and Lois have a quiet, friendly moment at a gala. Memories of their children make them laugh and cry a little. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21176123

Title: Mess with Them Summary: Selina Kyle is at the first gala event a young Jason Todd attends with Bruce. And she knows exactly what he's going through. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7559761

Title: Nightmare at the Gala Summary: When an amateur group of bad guys get their hands on fear toxin, they decide to use it on their next big game: the semi-annual Gotham Leaders Family Gala. And lo and behold, your favorite vigilante family just happens to be there too. But without their alter egos, they’re just another helpless rich family with easily kidnap-able kids. Will a frantic, fear toxin induced Bruce Wayne get his head together to save them? Or will he accidentally reveal his family’s biggest secret? Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14885828

Title: Of Smiles and Broken Things Summary: Tim's first gala isn't going as well as he had hoped, but at least the host is nice. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899127

Title: Sorrowful and Immaculate Hearts Summary: A DC universe where moms are awesome and raise their kids right. Now with more melanin and queerness. Also, Gotham's in Michigan and Metropolis is in Connecticut. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Fics are in chronological order but are all standalone. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/440926

Title: Stay a Child Summary: “Redo it,” Bruce orders. “Aw, come on!” Dick dares to pout — a thing that he uses often, and would work on anyone but Bruce and Alfred. Sometimes. Bruce gives him a look. “I’m not going to do it for you.” “I’m going to misdo it until you do,” Dick threatens. [Two times Dick went to a gala with Bruce and one time he didn’t.] Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15098102

Title: The Art of the Gala Summary: Barry is the one who usually goes to these things. Unfortunately for Hal, Barry got called in to Central for a case, so now Hal has to go to the Gala with Bruce. Bruce is just lucky Hal loves him so much. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17654852

Title: The Bat-Signal Smashing Charity Gala Summary: Spawned from the realization that them making Gordon physically destroy the Bat-Signal at the end of The Dark Knight is absurd and hilarious. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1867965

Title: The Bats Out of the Bag (At the Drop of a Tinfoil Hat) Summary: In which Tim is Bruce's secretary, there's a gala, and questions get answered. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762865

Title: The Gotham’s Wayne Summary: dukeofthomas [We all know who the real QUEEN of the Manor is] The Gothamites are very invested in the Waynes. Very very interested. A journey through the Gotham's favorite family: the Waynes through Social Media. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13333119

Title: The Problem with Galas Summary: Galas are an issue, because something always goes wrong, and no one knows this better than Dick Grayson. (It's a bit of a problem, actually, but he can always depend on Bruce to get him out of trouble.) Link: https://archiveofourown.org/series/906501

Title: The Wayne Deal Summary: Bruce Wayne's parents made a deal, if you do something to make yourself noticed at a Gotham Gala- enough to impress the papers, then they will leave right away. Bruce passes this deal along to the children in his custody.Each one adds their own flair to it. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641559

Title: three bars, one city Summary: The Wayne kids join Twitter. This is widely seen as a very bad move. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172040

Title: Unattended Wards and their Unfortunate Guardians Summary: Roy and Dick are left alone for a couple hours at a gala. How much trouble could two boys possibly cause while unattended? Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14770661

Title: Wayne Family Tweets, aka Why Bruce Wayne's Hair Is Going Gray Summary: JTW @hottoddie oh okay u hold a totally acceptable grudge for a couple years and suddenly ur “”bitter”” Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17387441

Title: Wayne Gala Summary: Alfred teaches the boys how to dance. The girls go shopping for dresses. And it only took three hours into the party for all that effort go to waste. …But that's fine. They were Waynes. Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11316591

[astrid-goes-for-a-spin]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Flash (TV 2014) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Barry Allen & Iris West, Barry Allen/Iris West Characters: Iris West, Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon, Zoom, Hunter Zolomon, Hunter Zolomon | Jay Garrick, Henry Allen Additional Tags: superIris, Iris has Powers, Metahuman Iris West, BAMF Iris West, Women Being Awesome, Episode: s02e21 The Runaway Dinosaur, Episode: s02e22 Invincible, Season 2, Season 2 feels, Canon Divergence, Henry Allen Lives, Everybody Lives, no Flashpoint, Iris defeats Zoom, Happy Ending Series: Part 6 of Iris Week 2020 Summary:

Iris Week 2020 Day 6! SuperIris! @iriswestallenweek

At first, Iris doesn’t even notice that something’s changed. That she has powers. That she’s no longer just a run-of-the-mill human.

Everything is overwhelming – Barry’s lost in the speed force, Jesse’s in a coma, Tony Woodward is sorta back to life and still has a crush on her. It takes her until she and Barry are standing in the cemetery before she starts to realize that all the feelings she’s been feeling…might not actually be hers.

 Iris is affected by Harry's particle accelerator explosion and gains empathy powers. Iris defeats Zoom.

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full text for the tumblr crowd! 

.

At first, Iris doesn’t even notice that something’s changed. That she has powers. That she’s no longer just a run-of-the-mill human.

Everything is overwhelming – Barry’s lost in the speed force, Jesse’s in a coma, Tony Woodward is sorta back to life and still has a crush on her. It takes her until she and Barry are standing in the cemetery before she starts to realize that all the feelings she’s been feeling…might not actually be hers.

Because Barry is talking so nostalgically about the little board book he brought his mom’s stone, and even though Iris knows that book always made her irritated and sad, she’s feeling a little teary and –

“I never really liked that book,” Iris says, and Barry turns watery eyes to her. “But, right now? I feel like I’ve loved it forever.”  

“Why?” Barry asks, and she takes his arm.

“Because neither of us had a mom,” Iris says, and feels, almost like a physical wave, the emotions coming from Barry’s body to hers: sadness, tenderness, pure and absolute love. She steps away from him and drops his arm, and his worry comes to her more slowly, like a cloud rolling in.

Iris would go wait in the car, but they ran here. Iris takes a deep breath and tries to block everything out.

“I’ll give you a minute,” Iris says finally, and gives herself space under the guise of giving Barry a moment in private. The further she moves from him, the less intensely she feels the worry, the heartbreak, the distraction. Iris takes a breath. It’s raining (her hair, oh god) and the cemetery is empty. She’s always been good at reading other people’s energy, but the room is – quite literally – dead.

When Barry takes them back to the house later, Iris waits until he changes out of his nice clothes, and then she sits him down on the sofa away from the noise of her dad and her brother in the kitchen.

“I think I have powers,” Iris says baldly.

Barry stares at her like he’s never seen her before.

“I was in the city when the accelerator went off in 2013, I was in the lab two days ago, I got mixed up with the speed force – I’ve been exposed to all the stuff that’s not supposed to exist. X-elements.”

Barry’s mouth is hanging slightly open. “Y-you mean-”

Iris takes a breath. “I can feel you. Your fear. Your guilt. Your sadness. I didn’t realize it right away because everything was so hectic, but – I’m pretty sure those aren’t my feelings.”

In less than a second Barry flashes away and back, and her hair flutters into her face. She wipes it away, and he’s fiddling with Harry’s watch. Fear and dread pouring off him, Barry silently offers the watch to her.

Iris’s hand passes over the face of the watch, and

                                                                                  everything

                                                                                                             changes.

.

 In the five-or-so minutes Cisco and Caitlin find in the next week, they confirm what Iris already knows: Harry’s oh-so-safe particle accelerator explosion that literally ripped Barry apart also washed Iris in dark matter. Her previously human DNA is different in one tiny but significant way: the metahuman gene.

Iris knows that if they weren’t facing down an army of supervillains from another world, if the CCPD weren’t operating out of a coffeeshop because their precinct is Zoom’s new HQ, if it was literally any other time, she’d be subjected to a battery of tests, be down in the basement training to learn what her powers can do and how to keep them under control.

As it is, the city’s barely surviving Zoom’s onslaught, and there’s just no time.

Barry’s new, post-speed force attitude isn’t really helping the situation, either.

Iris is still trying to get a grip on her new, fledgling powers, but she doesn’t think she’d need them to understand this. Barry is happy-go-lucky, upbeat, bursting with optimism; the speed force is with us. Iris can feel it from the moment Barry’s within a hundred yards of her, and she can’t help it: she’s slightly giddy with positivity.

On the other hand, the rest of Team Flash is terrified by the Metapocalypse and the lingering threat of Zoom, and that Barry’s optimism will be the death of him. (And the world.) Iris can’t help but notice her range for Barry is a lot farther than the others – but simply sharing a room with her dad can make her subdued and anxious.

It doesn’t make Iris feel better that the press is hardly helpful in this situation. Or at least, not as helpful as the rest of the team. She’s not exactly part of the news media producing the endless loop on TV telling citizens to stay in their homes.

Without complete solitude – an impossibility right now – it’s also hard for her to know what she’s really feeling – apart from her friends and family. If she could be sure her feelings were her own, would she still feel this worried? Or this blissfully confident? (Or both?)

Which feelings are right?

When Barry comes back to STAR Labs with blood crusting his ears and neck because an evil Laurel Lance would’ve killed him if Wally hadn’t run her over, Iris knows the majority has been right all along. No matter how Barry feels, the danger is real, and he needs to act that way.

The right ones are whatever feelings that’ll keep him alive.

Iris trails him into the medbay and plops down on the gurney. “You know you’re not invincible, right?”

Barry’s removing his gloves, but he gives her a little laugh and a patronizing sigh. “Yes. Of course I know this.”

Iris wonders how long it’ll take before it’s impossible for him to lie to her at all. His words tell her he agrees, but his heart tells her that they can survive anything.

“Joe’s being overprotective, but I get it,” Barry says, leaning against a cabinet.

Iris scoots a little on the bed, untangling her crossed legs. “Yeah, but you’re acting like nothing can touch you. Like nothing bad can get in your way.” Iris taps her heart. “And worse, I can tell you actually believe it. And it’s just not true for any of us.”

Barry seems sobered by the reminder that Iris – isn’t the same as she used to be. When he says, “What are you trying to say?” Iris thinks, He’s going to listen to me. He always listens to me. No one else has been able to get through to him, this time.

“I know you had an experience in the speed force. I saw some of it. I can still feel it on you now,” Iris starts, and holds out a hand to him, gesturing him close. “And I’m happy that you think we’re gonna win the day, but a little fear can be a healthy thing. It helps you determine which risks are worth taking.”

Barry swallows dryly, only feet away from her now. Separated by the wall from the Cortex, Iris is zeroed in on him in a way she hasn’t been since they were at Nora Allen’s grave. She can feel her words sinking into his buoyant mood.

When he nods and gets up to pass her, though, Iris can feel it all melting off, untouchable. She’s still holding her hand out.

He reaches out to rub it once in reassurance, and –

It’s like nothing Iris has ever felt before.

All of Iris’s worry, her fear, her helplessness, her terror for Wally and Barry and her father, her dim hope for a future after Zoom has ravaged the city: she’s exploding with emotion, and the moment Barry touches her, her feelings seep out of her skin and into his.

Barry staggers back as if impacted by a physical blow. His eyes flick up to hers, wide. She can feel his positivity sagging, supplanted by the caution Iris is impressing into him. Somehow, she’s actively changing the way he feels – and not the old-fashioned way.

She takes her hand away.

Barry’s eyes are slightly glazed. “Are you okay?” they ask at the same time, their words overlapping. Iris is nodding, but Barry is shaking his head.

“Is this how you’ve been feeling?” he asks, voice pitched high. “All the time? That was-”

“Really intense,” Iris finishes. “Yeah. I haven’t figured out a way to turn it off yet.” If she wasn’t so busy with Zoom’s army, she’d be afraid she never will. “And I definitely didn’t know I could – do that.”

Barry sits beside her on the bed and deliberately sets his hands on either side of her shoulders and rubs up and down. With each stroke, his optimism is tempered by her fear.

When someone calls for them from the Cortex, Iris takes his wrist once and closes her eyes, just to impress her feeling – caution! – one final time, hoping that her warnings aren’t hopeless.

This is how much we love you.

.

Maybe Barry is actually right, and the speed force is on their side. With Zoom gone and his army subdued, Iris thinks it’s high time for some family celebration.

Team Flash’s dinner party mood is almost as good as Barry’s has been for days, and Iris feels high on it – even more when Barry asks if – since he’s been feeling “extra invincible” – this would be a good time to give them a shot. (It is, it really is.)

Iris organizes people bringing food in from the kitchen while the others gossip, and she leads Henry into the dining room by an elbow and settles him at Barry’s side with a champagne glass.

And then there’s a pulse of terror, absolute and overwhelming, from the other side of the table, and she looks up to see Cisco’s post-vibe face, mouth gaping. The happiness abates. Iris can feel the tension straining across the room. People demanding answers. Cisco cries out, “Tell me I did not just see the end of the world!”

Iris can’t really imagine anything worse than an entire planet breaking, splitting in half from pole to pole, a whole world she’s never seen but has been so determined all year long to protect –

– a rush of hate and malice so cold Iris almost doesn’t recognize what it is. Sadism. A power-hungry cruelty. The bitterest spite. The fear in the room jumps; terror and helplessness all around her.

Two steps away from her, Zoom has Henry’s throat in his claws.

Barry’s fear is quickly turning into rage, a kind of rage Iris didn’t need powers to understand during all the years he hunted the Reverse-Flash. She can see him thinking, calculating how fast he needs to move in order to save his dad’s life.

Iris doesn’t think.

She feels.

Zoom never notices her hand, so fixed on Barry, the only threat, the only other speedster in the room. Barry is on the other side of her, but Iris is within arm’s reach, and her hand comes down on Zoom’s shoulder with what she knows must be suffocating force.

Iris still isn’t thinking. She isn’t calculating. She’s remembering all of the pain that Zoom has brought with him this year, with an intensity that she feels may make her heart explode.

Caitlin, hostage on another earth, at his mercy.

Jesse gone and Harry frantic with fear.

The endless lines of metahumans Zoom threw through the breaches to try to kill her family.

Larkin, who did not deserve to die the way he did, and Linda’s terror and pain – both Lindas.

Barry and Cisco gone through the breach, Barry shaking on the staircase as he confided to them the manner of the other Joe’s death.

Jesse, hanging from manacles and sleeping in her own blood and filth.

The prisoner Barry promised to rescue that they still haven’t gotten around to.

Barry’s nightmares.

Iris having to shoot a gun at another person, a person with her friend’s face.

Barry, broken like a doll, dangling from his grip on live TV, blood leaking out of him.

Her brother, helpless and in pain, a pawn in a game he was never a part of, and the reckless do-gooding he’s throwing his life away for.

Barry, white as a sheet, half his body in a brace, unconscious in a hospital bed.

Barry, screaming as they injected him with poison and the particle accelerator tore his body apart.

All of these things broke Iris’s heart, shredded it until there was nothing left but she just kept bleeding.

These things caused her to bite her nails and wake in the night with blood in her mouth, answer her phone after a single ring, have panic attacks in the bathroom at work and cry with fear as she wondered what catastrophe would befall her loved ones next.

All of these things – so…

…avoidable.

Acts of a man who hated and hated, and turned that hate into dead bodies all across the multiverse so – what?

He could feel less alone?

Zoom’s grip on Henry slackens. Lightning raises the hairs on her arm; Barry reappears on the far side of her with his father in his arms. Iris puts her other hand right over Zoom’s heart, and in slow stages they crumple to the ground.  

She’s on top of him, her flirty dress riding up, the awful wrinkly texture of Zoom’s suit vivid beneath her palms. Somewhere in the background Iris notices lines of burning moisture traveling down her face and splashing onto his.

“You’re not alone now, Hunter,” Iris says softly, sinking further onto Zoom’s body. He’s twitching, and Iris can feel the impact of what she’s doing to him starting to break something deep within him, even more than he’s already broken. “I’m here. I can feel everything you feel. I know what you want, and why. You wanted to hurt people. Well, you succeeded. You hurt my family. You hurt me.”

Pitifully, a noise that resolves itself into the words “It hurts” reaches Iris’s consciousness. She didn’t notice it at first because he’s stopped vibrating his vocal chords into that demonic voice. He just sounds like Jay.

He sounds human.

“You’re not gonna hurt anyone anymore,” Iris whispers, and Zoom lies still.

.

Barry races to STAR Labs and deposits Zoom in the anti-speedster cell: the only safe place, for right now. The whole way there and for a long while after, Zoom remains unresponsive.

“Can we inject him with the anti-speed serum?”

“He’d have to be running to take his speed away, like he did before-”

“Do you have a place you can keep metas incarcerated on Earth-2?”

All the questions – important, Iris is sure – fade into the background for her. Iris is sitting on the end of the bed again. She’s got a mug of coffee in her hands, a pair of STAR Labs sweatpants covering up her very cold, bare legs, and a shock blanket around her shoulders. Though she can tune out the questions, she still can’t manage the emotions. Her family is afraid, but hopeful. They’re in problem-solving mode. Zoom is contained, for the first time ever, and it’s extremely possible that Team Flash is gonna figure this out.

Iris jerks awake when Barry sets down next to her on the bed.

“How long was I out?” she asks, grabbing for him. He allows it, but no emotions flow from her. Iris wonders if it has to be an exceptionally emotional circumstance. Touching him now only makes her perception of his feelings stronger.  

“A while. Caitlin gave you a sedative to help you recover. Jitters’ll be opening soon.”

Morning. Iris suppresses a groan at the memory of 5AM shifts, but smiles at the reminder that things are going back to normal after Zoom’s defeat.

“Did you figure out what to do with him yet?” she yawns.

Barry’s radiating a kind of calm sureness that makes the question almost irrelevant.

“We extracted the speed force in his system while you were resting. STAR Labs on Earth-2 will publicize his identity, and he’ll spend the rest of his life in solitary confinement. He won’t hurt anyone else. The random metas he forced into his army we’re sending back a few at a time to the Barry and Iris there, to see whether they’re criminals or just – unlucky. Harry’s bringing our dampening tech, too, so any of those meta-criminals that need to be locked up can be. It’s a good day.”

Iris smiles. “I can tell.”

Barry’s feeling shifts to something serious, introspective, and almost…reverent.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t been there,” he starts. “My dad-”

“He’s free, he’s alive, he’s here in the city, and he’s got his eye on Dr. McGee,” Iris laughs. “It’s okay. Maybe you were right all along. You are invincible.”

Barry takes a quick look at the rest of the team scattered through the lab, then whisks her away in his arms. Next moment they’re sitting on her dad’s front steps, and the whole world feels just as fragile as she knows it is, fresh with morning dew and sleeping as the sun is just beginning to rise.

“Not me. We’re invincible. I couldn’t have – none of this could have been without you, Iris. Believe me. You saved my dad. You saved Earth-2. Iris, Black Siren didn’t want to leave here because she insisted Zoom was going to destroy every earth with the stolen Mercury Labs tech, all in one shot. You saved the multiverse.”

Something is swelling, a depth of feeling Iris has often glimpsed, both in herself and Barry, but never had the courage to explore.

“Do I get a code name now?” Iris asks in a halfhearted attempt to play it off.

Barry huffs a laugh and sinks a hand into her hair. Somehow the fact that it’s sticky with old hairspray, pins long gone, doesn’t matter. Her smudged makeup and lab sweatpants under her fancy dress with no back and no bra doesn’t matter.

“I have never loved you more,” Barry murmurs as he gets closer.

Iris feels it like the sunrise. In response, she closes her eyes, takes his hand, and places it over her heart.

.

[welcome-to-latveria]

Hello, how's it going? I was hoping you could explain or compress the storyline of DCeased comics because they seem so genuinely interesting (( I saw your characterisation post it was awesome, you're awesome!!!)) and I don't know where to find the comics in my locality or even on internet ((it just says they are not available in my region :/ )) hope you have a good day, I love your blog!!!

Ahh thank you very much!!! And sure I'd love to explain DCeased for you!!!

(SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT)

Okay so basically there’s some virus infection thingy that turns people to zombies or whatever except it transfers from person to person via the internet (or just through a screen) and also from when an infected person bites someone else in typical zombie fashion.

When Superman sees this virus has infected Metropolis (which is where it started) he’s able to rush home to Lois, Jon and Damian (who was visiting) and destroy all the screens in the house to protect them. In the Batcave Bruce is protected by some firewall or something idk but Dick and Tim are elsewhere in the manor and are infected. Bruce fights them off to protect Alfred and is infected and the last page of the first issue is Dick taking a nice bite out of Bruce’s neck :/

Next issue and we see some other characters like Aquaman getting yeeted into the sea by zombies when he goes to check on a ship as well as Harley going to kill the Joker (supported by Ivy) but when she gets there he’s a zombie. Ollie, Dinah and Hal have gone camping together and Hal looks at his phone and is infected. Dinah kills Hal and his ring goes to her and she becomes a Green Lantern. Superman arrives just as this happens and then all of them are contacted over comms by Bruce (who has put himself in a Mr Freeze style suit to slow the infection) who tells them all what’s going on and how the virus is transmitted. Damian is also there to hear this and we get to the most emotional part of the issue where Damian hears Bruce break out the containment suit because the virus has fully taken over and:

(The transition from 'father' to 'dad' and Alfred cutting the transmission so Damian doesn't hear his dad die. Alfred having to kill his own son. Tears all around lads.)

Issue #3 and as if the last ending wasn't bad enough the opening to this issue murders me:

(Hasn't Alfred suffered enough??? And also Jon is SUCH a good friend. Tom Taylor really understands Jon & Damian's friendship and I love both of their portrayals in this series)

Some other stuff happens in this issue including showing Atlantis where Arthur and Garth have both been infected but Mera manages to escape. Harley also runs into infected Batwoman, Batgirl (Babs), Catwoman & Huntress but Harley survives. And as usual we get another emotional ending this time it's Clark having to kill his father Jonathan who had been infected:

(The 'but he was too late' and the 'he isn't here' bruh!!!)

In #4 a lot of stuff goes down but at least we get some good hugs:

After that it goes downhill quickly because Captain Atom has been infected and is gonna blow up so Superman & Wonder Woman have to fly his body up away from everyone but the blast still takes out Washington, Baltimore and Metropolis.

In #5 we learn that Dinah was able to save everyone who had gathered on top of the Daily Planet building (which is where most surviving heroes had gone) by creating a force field w/ her ring.

A couple days pass at the start of #5 in which they take down the internet & satellites and whatever else so that the only way the virus can spread is thru people. 2 sanctuaries r established - one on Themyscira & one in Gotham which is a huge jungle created by Ivy that nothing can penetrate. Then in the Fortress of Solitude they make a plan to build huge ships for everyone alive to leave Earth. A few weeks pass and they build the ships etc. AND THAT'S WHERE EVERYTHING GOES WRONG!! Martian Manhunter turns up (infected) and infects Barry. (When the series first started we learn Barry had isolated himself & Wally because they knew what would happen if they were infected i.e. they'd infect millions cos of their speed). Clark is forced to kill him in THE most horrific way ever which is basically him flying thru Barry's body. This causes Clark to also become infected and he goes to say goodbye to his family before he flies up into space to kill himself. However he doesn't get there in time and turns, so Wonder Woman goes to kill him w/ a Kryptonite sword along w/ Dinah & Cyborg. Wonder Woman gets infected and Superman escapes and follows the ships that r full of people who have left Earth (sidenote: Harley & Ivy choose to stay behind).

The result is that Jon has to face his father which he does w/ the intention he will die:

Luckily when he fights Clark the Green Lantern Corps arrive. Clark decides not to fight them and instead flies into the sun to 'drain' it meaning the solar system will die. The Guardians who arrived w/ the Green Lanterns decide that's probably best cos they can't destroy the virus but if the solar system freezes the virus will just lay dormant. They and the Corps move the ships of survivors into a new solar system.

Back on Earth, Wonder Woman has been trapped w/ her lasso by Cyborg who wants to know it there is a cure (note: everyone w/ the virus is dead and the virus is the one controlling their actions and speech). Wonder Woman tells Cyborg that he is the cure as the virus started w/ him (idk if I mentioned that cos its hard to explain but yh he was infected on Apokolips and dumped on Earth where it spread). As Cyborg realises he has to go to the ships and tell them, Wonder Woman escapes the lasso and decapitates him.

The story ends with the survivors looking out of their ship to see the new planet they will live in:

(This is only the main 6 issues of DCeased. You sent 2 asks tho so I'll reply to the 2nd one w/ what happens in the other series')

[malicerewatchesdoctorwho]

The Moonbase - Episode One

Written By - Kit Pedler Director - Morris Barry Producer - Innes Lloyd Animation Director - Sean Zwan Animation Producer - Stephanie Youlten

Episode One

("Is this someone's idea of a bad joke?!" - Hobson to the Doctor and Polly about Doctor Evans's body disappearing.)

Likes

- The Doctor's wardrobe has everything, up to and including 4 spacesuits XD  I love how vast the TARDIS's wardrobe is.  Even in just one box.

- Jamie wanting to visit the Man on the Moon XD

- Polly being adventurous and trying everything first.  Yes.

- The spread of the black lines on the face of the guy who fell unconscious.  That was an awesome little thing that probably looks better animated than it would in the full motion version.  Nice.

- "Now, before we all forget what century we're in..." Just...that line and how it was delivered, right there. 

- I like how it is an international base on the moon. 

Dislikes

- What happened to Jamie to knock him out?  They were all doing fine jumping around until then.  Did he just land wrong?     

- Who was it on the other end of the line on Earth?  Whoever it was they were annoying.

- Was the Cyberman pretending to be a human, or was the Cyberman just listening in? 

- Poor Jamie, getting knocked out and thinking his Piper is after him to kill him.  And because of that he doesn't have much to do in the episode at all.

- Wow.  Like almost always the black man dies first. Poor Ralph.  He did nothing to deserve that.  

Awesome

- The animation!  I like how each animated story in Doctor Who I have watched so far has different styles.  I really liked this one. 

- Polly's dress.  Lovely little bit of costuming for her there. This girl does love her fashion. And it's awesome. 

- Those glasses for the space suits.  They're awesome. 

- The sound effects when they're jumping on the moon.  Such a silly little noise.  Love it.

Shitty

- The awful beeping of the monitor was really annoying. 

- Was that a Cyberman with claws and balls attached?  Okay, got a good look at the end, no claws, but definitely a lot of balls.  The Cybermen in this have big balls.  Okay, noted.   

In Conclusion

So many new people in this one episode, I am glad they are all wearing name tags, have accents and have flags on them, because it got confusing telling one person apart from the others in this. 

Other than that, I enjoyed this episode.  I enjoy the style of animation in it, and it was a treat to watch how smooth it was.  I like how there is a bit of a mystery going on which you know is connected to the Cybermen, but you don't know what it is (well, unless you've watched it.  Still pretty sure it has something to do with flour, or some other food product. It's been a long time.)

I feel sorry for poor Ralph, who got killed for no reason.  Doctor Evans dying made sense.  Ralph, nope.  He was just the black guy and everyone knows that the black guy dies first.  It sucks, I liked him.  He had personality for a bit character. 

I also liked the commander guy, Hobson and how he just takes everything in stride until it gets real bad.  Don't much like the French guy though.  I think it was the close up of his face when he was introduced as second.  Like he had other plans going on.  Other nefarious plans, muahahaha.

I liked the TARDIS crew having fun when they were outside on the moon, bouncing around in their space suits.  With the weird but awesome glasses. 

Yeah, I wish that Jamie had a little more something to do too.  But he woke up at the end.   

So, yeah, enjoying this one so far.  I look forward to the next episode!

Body count - 2.  Ralph the nice black man, killed by a Cyberman electrocuting him to death.  And Doctor Evans who died from the virus infecting the people.

[badassindistress]

I’ve been having a subpar day, so I decided to turn my mind to ‘what if instead of being protective of her brother Lup saw Kravitz and thought Hello New Best Friend’

Taako/Kravitz, Lup & Kravitz Friendship, 800w, mostly gen

Inspired by those posts about the twins finding the gothest men to date and that one lovely comic where the reaper squad get to write nerdy necromancy selfhelp books together, none of which I can find now of course

Lup and Taako are finally getting back in the rhythm of cooking together again. Sadly, her time being an umbrella hasn’t stopped Lup from having very wrong opinions on seasoning. At least she can taste Taako’s cooking again, refresh her memory on how superior his recipes are. They’re not quite in sync, but Lup is so happy Taako can’t really mind that right now. He let her do the frying and she’s making the fire burn in rainbow colours as she talks.

“It’s like, so good. Remember that time when we met those necromancers with the great robes but bad personalities?”

“Ch’yeah, you only wore black for like, a month. How could I forget?”

Taako wasn’t such a fan of that time. Sure, he loves a good goth outfit as much as the next highly fashionable elf, but what’s the fun if he can’t even add a little glitter?

“Yeah, it was awesome. And this is like, so much better.” She puts the frying pan down, lets it simmer slowly. She looks at his hair instead of his eyes, so it’s probably talk about your feelings time. They’ve been trying to do that a bit more and every time it feels like slow agonising torture.

“Taako, we made it, you know? We’re legends, we’re together and I get to work with my goth soulmate—” She smiles, “and also Barry, whomst I love more than life itself.”

Taako narrows his eyes.

“Back off, sister, he’s mine.”

Lup laughs her loud, snorting laugh he didn’t know he was missing for so long. She wipes a tear from her eye theatrically.

“Seriously though, I gotta hand it to you. He’s hot, stylish and so goth. Can’t get any gothier than Death. Really, well done.”

Taako feels the smug pride rise. Dating Kravitz makes him feel like he’s won something in general, but outgothing the world is also a good plus. And like, maybe it’s not entirely unimportant that his sister likes him.

“Does Kravitz know he has a new best friend yet?”

“No,” says Lup with a grin, “but he will, once he sees it bedazzled on all our robes.”

Taako laughs with her.

“He’s gonna hate that, I love it,” he giggles.

“He may not like sparkly rhinestones, but he likes you, which is kind of the same thing,” Lup says, giving Taako a friendly too-hard shove.

“Hey! I’m a diamond and you know it,” Taako pouts.

Lup disregards his pouts and grabs him by the shoulders. She presses their foreheads together.

“Taako, I don’t think you get what I’m trying to say here. Kravitz is— He loves all the most important things in life. Music, blacker than black clothing, you, and he’s extra as fuck. Plus, he’s part of the skullface team. He’s perfect.”

“Sure, you’re welcome, I picked him just for you.” Taako jokes, “that, and that face. I could never resist a pretty face.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Lup says, turning back to her frying pan, “I know what went on there. We both love skull-faced deathnerds, must be a family curse.”

Taako doesn’t mention that Lup is also a skull-faced deathnerd. He would, but he does not want Lup to overthink the whole skull as a similarity thing. He doesn’t want her to think that he saw Kravitz’ face go all bony and thought ‘that’s familiar and comforting’ instead of being disgusted like a reasonable person whose closest family aren’t parttime skull-faced liches. Sure, maybe he doesn’t feel the discomfort other people feel around the skeletally inclined, but that doesn’t mean anything. He was voidfished anyway, so there.

A rift opens and Barry, in his normal jeans, and Kravitz, in full skull and robe, stumble into the kitchen. Taako can see Barry has that expressionless face where he is trying very hard not to give anything away. It’s slightly subtler than a Magnus attack, but not by much. Kravitz probably hasn’t noticed only because he seems very focused on their conversation. So focused he even forgot to grow his face back. Taako pouts at him until the handsome face is back and he gets a kiss hello. Taako reels him back in by the robes for a second kiss. Taako and Lup get back to cooking, shooting silent glances at each other as they pass the herbs and tools. Taako hums while he puts together a salad as Lup gets embroiled in the debate on necromantic theory. Kravitz and Barry set the table and every  time Kravitz turns his back the others catch each other’s eyes and desperately try to keep from laughing.

It wasn’t until dinner was being served that Kravitz realised why the others were high-fiving behind his back. On the back of his imposing robes, in sparkling, lovely detail and set in pink rhinestones were the words “Best Friend Death Squad”.

The resulting yelling and screaming laughter was deafening to several surrounding planes.

[fulcrumahsokaamidala]

Fan Fic Catch Up: One-shot

Hello, everyone!!! So this is me thanking awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and all the time they put into their fics. ♥️ I want to recommend spectacular fanfic stories I’ve read since my last spectacular Saturday post! ♥️ Which was last November!!! Saturday spectacular post will resume this Saturday. Will still be tagged as #saturday spectacular fic rec

This is the second of three catch up posts.

Completed multi-chapter fics

WIP fic

One-shots

cook with love (to make food for the soul) by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: ‘I don’t really cook.’ ‘That makes sense.’

An expansion on the beginning sequence of 8x05 within which Oliver takes it upon himself to try and remedy a gap in Mia’s education. The kitchen.

these faultlines in our guard by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Instead of forcing Mia into doing the initiation bell exercise, the Bratva use more extreme measures to try and extract information from Oliver, using his daughter. Mia is left trying to deal with the physical and emotional aftermath of being tortured in front of her father while he dials his overprotective instincts from 10 up to 11.

Viscount Hood’s Return by @hope-for-olicity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Lady Felicity Smoak attends a Yuletide Ball and is surprised to discover Viscount Hood.

A Perfect Holiday Getaway by @blondeeoneexox | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: This fic is just a whole lot of holiday Olicity fluff.

no I don’t hardly know her (but I think I could love her) by vickovac | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | One-shot

Summary: 'I’m in the library doing extra-credit work and you’re working on a term paper due tomorrow’/'you accidentally took my coffee’ 'you really drink that?’/'I took the flyer for the society you were handing out because you’re so pretty but I have no idea what we actually do’ AU

or Amy Santiago, like any normal college student, has a routine. Naturally, her class rival, Jake Peralta, disrupts it…in the best way possible.

Boyfriends From College by Impossibly_Izzy | Brooklyn Nine-Nine & One Day at a TIme | One-shot

Summary: Jake dated two guys in college, but doesn’t realize until he introduces one of them to Amy.

Into the B99-Verse by ThatOneSmolFangirl | Brooklyn Nine-Nine & Into the Spider-Verse | One-shot

Summary: that title was so bad ANYWHO, our favorite boy, Miles Morales, finds himself in the Brooklyn-99 precinct. Him interacting with everyone and generally having a good time. Based off that one tumblr post

Are You Wearing My Shirt? by @green-arrows-of-karamel | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Felicity has a little accident and borrows Oliver’s shirt.

Not The Last Time by CSM | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Post 804. Mia desperately wants to see her mother and there is no stopping her, so Oliver and William accompany her to Bloomfield to see a surprised Felicity and baby Mia.No association with my other season 8 fic

Big Belly Reprieve by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Bored in the bunker waiting for their parents to finish at the gala, FTA head to Big Belly to introduce Mia to the food of their childhood. [Set in 8x06: Reset]

Merry and Bright by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: The 2013 Queen Consolidated Holiday Office Party sneaks up on CEO, Oliver Queen, but if he’s learnt one thing this year, it’s that anything’s possible when he has Felicity Smoak by his side. (For the 'Olicity Holiday Tropes Challenge’ prompt: Office Party)

The Little Green Secret by @green-arrows-of-karamel | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: This is not how Oliver imagined New Year’s Eve was going to be.

A Heart Full of Love by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: With Christmas upon them now, Felicity has to admit that she’s incredibly excited as well to do something other than eat takeout and watch Disney movies with her baby girl. Sharing the Queen’s traditions with them is just another move towards them becoming a more cohesive family and she’ll always be excited for that. [A Christmas morning fic set within my Single Parents AU 'Welcome to Starling Prep Elementary’ around a year later]

sugar and smoke rings by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: He never would have believed the full story if it hadn’t come directly from the lips of the man he trusts most in the world. The legendary vigilantes Green Arrow and Overwatch had a daughter no one knew about?[How Connor meets Mia, pre-s7 flashforwards]

kissing death and losing my breath by fbismoak (midwestwind) | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: “In the grand scheme of things, she figures she’s probably due for a mental break anyway.“Picks up immediately after the end of 2x07.

A Late Christmas Present by @alanna-the-lionheart | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: When Oliver and Felicity’s friends send their wedding gift back to them, the two of them feel quite differently about it. Oliver tamps down his frustrations in an effort to make Felicity feel better, and together, the two of them turn an unpleasant situation on its head.

a father should be great by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Two conversations, thirty years apart. A seven-year-old Felicity and a nine-year-old Mia. Both two scared girls wondering why their fathers are no longer with them. Both seeking the comfort of their mothers.

Everything by WinnieTherPooh | Agents of SHIELD | One-shot

Summary: Jemma tries to reconcile the Doctor of the Framework with her Fitz. Set immediately post-Framework (in a world where the space adventure doesn’t happen, or at least doesn’t begin right away).

hot chocolate conversations by riverwoodhills | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Walter stumbles upon a distraught Oliver being consoled by his Executive Assistant in his office, a hot chocolate being passed subconsciously between them.

open up the door for you by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: A random evening with a little too much whiskey leads to Mia opening up to Connor about where she comes from and a little bit more.

gentle lady, your knight is here ready  by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Set in S2. A collection of missing scenes. The five times Oliver took care of Felicity and the one time she took care of him.

(drop everything) meet me in the moonlight by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver is working late one summer’s night in the mayoral office when a text from Felicity alerts him that everything is not alright with his beautiful, blonde ex-fiancée partner. (or post-s4, Felicity’s trying desperately to deal with the guilt of Havenrock and reaches out to Oliver one night when it’s all a little too much.)

we do, but friends don’t by @inlovewithimpossibillity | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Detective Billy Malone learns many things early on in his relationship with Felicity Smoak but his most important finding is just how close she seems to be with her ex-fiancé, newly appointed Mayor Queen.[a (semi-)outside perspective on olicity, just before the start of s5]

Life was Full of Surprises - and Oliver Queen was the Best One byaponderingcharming | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Set sometime in Season 2. After a rough night, Oliver gets drunk and Felicity is left to take care of him. After some fluff and a heartwarming moment of honesty, Felicity notes a shift in their relationship.

kneel by 101places | Agents of SHIELD | One-shot

Summary: Simmons has a bad reaction to an episode of Doctor Who.

a dance or two to escape the gloom by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Queen Incorporated’s Oliver Queen and Felicity Smoak of Smoak Technologies, rival CEOs, dance with each other at a holiday gala to avoid their exes.

New Year’s Eve by @alexiablackbriar13 | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: William pulls a 5x20 on Connor and Mia, locking them inside the bunker on New Year’s Eve with Indian food and wine. Of course, things escalate.  

Regret by Altum_Videtur  | Star Wars: The Clone Wars | One-shot

Summary: In the aftermath of the Battle of Ryloth, Ahsoka comes to terms with being responsible for other people’s lives. Set right after Storm Over Ryloth.

The Subtleties of Fashion by FrostOnGalway | Star Wars: The Clone Wars | One-shot Summary: Can we all agree that Ahsoka’s first outfit with the tube-top and mini-skirt is terrible for so many reasons? Anakin thinks so, and he’s gonna take a stand against stupid costume designers. The only problem is, how does he do that without hurting Ahsoka? When faced with a crisis of fashion (or most crises, really) the obvious solution is to go to Padmé for help. AKA The story of how Ahsoka gets her new outfit in Season 3. AKA The Fashion and the Arts (of Subtlety) Remix

you put your arms around me (and i’m home) by @inlovewithimpossibillity​ | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: The bunker is filled with people, Mia had been right about that, and there are many faces she recognizes staring back at her in shock but Mia is only interested in one of them.[An 8x10 spec-fic based off of the promo stills wherein Adult Mia meets 2020 Felicity]

no one will win this time by @alexiablackbriar13​ | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Canon divergent from COIE Part 5.Instead of targeting the Paragons, the pissed-off Anti-Monitor sends shadow demons after Oliver’s loved ones. Realizing two of the people Oliver loves most are vulnerable currently out in Bloomfield, dealing with the archer’s death, Sara rushes to protect Felicity and baby Mia, and bring them back to Star City so they can keep them safe.

The Next Right Thing by @inlovewithimpossibillity​ | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: A cabin. A wife. A teenager. A baby. Felicity Smoak is shaken to her core after the events of Crisis but she must come together for her son and daughter now. For Oliver, and for the true reason he sacrificed so much.

Take Your Daughter Into Battle Day by @alexiablackbriar13​ | Arrow | One-shot

Summary: Oliver and Mia are trying to keep her identity secret from the other superheroes as Crisis begins, saying that she’s a Green Arrow from E-20 called Maya. But after their first huge team battle, Barry and Kara quickly notice something is up between them - and the truth unfolds.

Let me know if you want to be tagged!

@hope-for-olicity @emdee8907 @malafle @laxit21 @icannotbelieveiamhere

[stranger-who-writes-fiction]

Everything Awesome about COIE Hour 1

LET’S GEEK OUT!

RIGHT FROM THE JUMP: In the beginning, there was only one, a single black infinitude... Usin’ that circa 1980s HEAVY COMIC PROSE I dig it.

And then the lil’ clip show of all the heroes and THEY USED SUPERGIRL PILOT FOOTAGE! THE PLANE SAVE, SPECIFICALLY! Good stuff.

And then we go right into the cameos, wasting no time: The newscaster guy from Burton Batman! Earth-X! Robin and Ace from Batman 66! That one Earth where they can say @#%&! 

“HOLY CRIMSON SKIES OF DEATH!”

(It’s almost as good as ‘Holey rusted metal, Batman!’ ‘Huh?’ ‘The ground, it’s all metal, and full of holes, you know? Holey!’ ...Almost.)

Wil Wheaton! Which is great but let’s be real here, we all know who the MVP of that scene was.

SPIKE THE DRAGON.

“What’s got you so spooked, buddy?”

Everything about the Clark and Lois scene was delightful, and I’m excited they’re getting a TV show.

Ooooooh and then they use the sad Supergirl theme music over the destruction of Argo and Jonathan’s pod escape and I am. Emotional. :C

Listen. No one is more shocked than I, that I’ve been actively liking Arrow season 8, but here we are, and I want to say: Dad Oliver? Is perhaps Best Oliver.

We all thought he was the Grumpy Uncle of the heroes...but he has evolved into his final form: Group Dad.

THE VIBRATIONAL FORK!!!!!

Oh, right, sorry, ‘Quantum Tower.’

For real, though: I really like how they’ve streamlined some of the more...unwieldy...comic stuff. Like, ‘the machines hold off the anti-matter wave’ is absolutely a thing from the original but you’d be surprised by how  overly complicated they make that idea out to be. 

I am...so glad that Alex has obvious reservations about Lena, and doesn’t even want to do it because hoo boy, I’m still not over the Season 5A nonsense.

...More on that in a moment.

More slow Supergirl theme music, and you know what comes with that theme music?

A good ol’ fashioned HOPE SPEECH.

BETWEEN THE SUPER COUSINS.

I love this, for so many reasons, but mostly that it states, right there, in the episode, why Kara keeps going, keeps fighting, keeps moving forward in spite of all she has lost. (I mean. We know the reason, it’s nothing new, but it’s always nice to have a reminder.) It also has some intense ‘Asgard is not a place, it’s a People’ undertones, re: Krypton, which I like.

WE STAN ONE PARAGON OF HOPE (sorry, Hour 2 spoilers)

AND THEN A HUG!!!!

Dad Oliver bonding with his smol, grumpy daughter and giving her her own set of vigilante duds is. Some good stuff. Yes it is.

And OoOOooOoOhhHHHH, the reveal that Oliver’s deal w/ the Monitor is tenuous at best, and therefore Kara and Barry aren’t necessarily safe...an interesting twist!

Hrrrrrmmmm. Lena stuff. 

....I’ll get to it in a minute.

Right, okay, back to the tower.

It’s a little thing, but I love that, when the explosions start, Oliver just looks around like, ‘What?’ but Mia is ready to THROW DOWN with her sudden hero crouch.

I liked the field trip to visit Old Man Oliver! I get the feeling that it’s setup for Sara and season five of Legends, kinda. 

And now, folks...the most important part of this crossover.

*deep breath*

SHAAAAAAAAAADOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW DEEEEEMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONNNSSSS!!!!!!!

WE GOT ‘EM. And they were flying around, attacking the machine, JUST LIKE IN THE COMIC!

And they used drones to get those shots apparently. It gave it a nice, zippy, action-y feeling. 

*sheds a nerdy tear* It was beautiful.

I also like that Oliver and Kate were very Extra, flipping over debris when there was literally no reason to do so other than, ‘gotta look cool.’

Ray is, as always, a delight.

(I’m skipping some stuff because otherwise this will be really long)

HEAT VISION TEAM-UP

Love me some heat vision.

KELLY WITH THE SHIEEEELLLLDDDDDD

And then, we get to Oliver’s Big Damn Hero moment, which I wanna talk about because it manages to do two entirely different things simultaneously and I really dig it:

So, obviously, it’s Oliver dying in order to save a bunch of people from Earth-38, as well as Barry and Kara. 

I reiterate: Big Damn Hero Moment.

But it also happens pretty much...entirely off-screen. And he comes back, all banged up...you know. The way a human would look if they went toe-to-toe with an army of Shadow Demons.

So it both honors his status as The OG Arrowverse Hero, but it also exudes the same single-panel-death energy as the original comic. Like. ‘HE WAS SO HEROIC GUYS but it happened entirely outside of our view’ and I think it’s very impressive, that they merged (ha, ha) those two concepts so well.

And then he has his requisite Death Speech, and t’was a good Death Speech.

And then Pariah shows up (!!!!!!!!!!) and Things Look Grim and then credits!

SO. GOOD. 

LOVED IT ALLLLLLL.

(Well except for one thing and can YOU GUESS WHAT IT IS?)

Spoilers: It’s Lena.

I understand why she’s here, and I’m glad she deigned to put her drama aside to help save the world, but MY GOD, what a petty jerk.

Like. Please stop making everything about you as the skies go dark with cosmic lightning and an army of wraiths descends upon a giant space tower that’s holding the big galactic destruction wave at bay.

(I’m so glad they didn’t tie in the mind control--because that was kind of a thing in the comic, like. Psycho Pirate was getting everyone riled up, and I think they sent another hero with either emotion powers or telepathy to soothe the people and make them stop throwing themselves into the anti-matter ray...so I was WORRIED that they would ask Lena to re-purpose Myriad to get everyone off-world in an orderly fashion THANK GOODNESS SHE ONLY BUILT A TELEPORTER.)

...Aside from that though, GREAT STUFF.

[fly-pow-bye]

Powerpuff Girls 2016 - The Final Stack Up (The Best)

It’s been a good time, friends, but the time has come. Which episodes managed to be great?

Same rules for the worst list apply here, except, of course, I have to say a bad thing about each of these episodes. A lot easier to do than the opposite, sad to say, but I'm not going to let that bother me. Also, I have to reiterate that this is my opinion and my opinion alone. Some may hate one of these episodes, and that's fine. Without further ado, let's look at 10 episodes that managed to get the top spot.

And yes, you can imagine the Cartoon Cartoon Top 5 music here.

The Top 10:

10. The Fog

PPG 2016 never really did a good villain team-up episode. The closest I'd say it ever got to that was one of the comic runs, where the villains all gather together in one big Bureau of Bad…to discuss the times they almost got them like that episode of Batman. There is also this episode, where Mojo Jojo, The Gnat, Bianca and Barbarus Bikini, and nobody else of importance team up to please a rather threatening villain that is more than meets the clouds.

Really, this episode shouldn't be seen as a villain team-up, but as a "Buttercup learns a lesson" episode. At first, it seems to fall into that tired "Buttercup does something bad, her more girly sisters get into trouble because of it, and the tomboy has to save them" plot, but the episode decides to do another twist that is actually pretty satisfying to see.

The episode even ends with a shot of the Powerpuff Girls flying towards a bunch of villains. That would have been a great way to end the reboot, actually; certainly better than Sitcom Dad having a Meet Dave-esque meltdown.

Bad thing: There's a reason why I avoided calling this a real team-up, because they only really team up at the end of the episode. The rest is just the villains trying to beat up the girls solo, or duo in the Fashionista's case, and them getting one-shotted. That should be normal for a Powerpuff Girls battle, but compared to episodes like the original's Meet The Beat-Alls, it's a real missed opportunity.

...also, they completely wasted that yarn villain. If ordinary rope can stop the Powerpuff Girls, this guy should be the Powerpuff Girls new arch-nemesis!

9. Toy Ploy

Going from one episode featuring Discount to another, here's an episode where Jojo decides to interrogate the Powerpuff Girls' toys to find out their biggest weakness. Trust me, it is better than it sounds.

This is another "three shorts" episode, this one using the Powerpuff Girls' favorite toys as its framing device. Blossom has President Dinosaur, who even the episode itself comments is rarely seen in the reboot, Buttercup has Monsieur Ducky, because Buttercup apparently has a soft spot for Ernie from Sesame Street, and Bubbles has Octi, who is revealed to be female in this episode and only this episode.

The Blossom part has a decent plot about Blossom having to deal with a pterodactyl who won't surrender. The Buttercup part is a send up of war documentaries, talking about Buttercup playing pranks as if they were military operations. The Bubbles part is just a little slideshow, but it does have some neat looking drawings, and it concludes with an absolutely adorable ending for the framing device. It's cute, I couldn't hate it.

Bad thing: Blossom's segment is definitely the odd one out, as the story doesn't even involve President Dinosaur until the very end. Not that I hated her part, as mentioned before, but when it doesn't use the framing device, it just makes me think it's an idea they couldn't expand into a full episode. That's what these seem to be, but at least try to hide it!

8. Take Your Kids to Dooms Day

I can see this one's inclusion in my best list as a controversial pick, since there's a major issue with this episode that will turn a lot of people off from it. Namely, and I am going to spoil a major part of this episode here: this episode involves Silico, a villain that was hyped up to oblivion in his first appearance, getting beaten up by someone who is normally a bumbling Sitcom Dad in a ridiculously animated fashion. I was not that bothered by that, though part of that is because he was already ruined by Halt and Catch Silico. This episode doesn't ruin him any more than the revelation that "they broke my toys!" being his reason for being evil.

Also, there's a good reason why I said "in most episodes" in that last paragraph, because this is not a Sitcom Dad episode. Sure, he's a total dork here, but that's still more fitting of the original Professor than being a doormat, saying really bad advice, or just being an oblivious dingus. Okay, sure, there's one scene where the evil plan was outright blurted out to him and he didn't really take it seriously, but I'll take that as a joke. Also, in the way the episode does it, him beating Silico made a little more sense than it seems? He made the suit, of course he could make a better one.

There's also this cute scene where the Powerpuff Girls, obviously disinterested in the Professor's actual job, trying to make their dad look like this cool superhero by making a cheap home movie about him. It even comes with Bubbles holding up a cardboard cutout of Townsville at the beginning of it. Reminds me of that awesome cartoon about three superhero girls fighting crime that aired on Cartoon Network all those times ago. I think it was called "Teamo Supremo."

After that aforementioned "Professor beating up that villain that really deserved better" scene, we get an ending that's only downside is that it has the opposite problem of Memory Lane of Pain's ending: it treats the Professor as a good father figure when every other episode treats him like a Sitcom Dad. I do not see that problem as horrible as that episode's, though. The Professor should be a good father figure and Bubbles shouldn't be an "everyday hero". All in all, I think it's good.

Bad thing: I already mentioned the bad thing, so I will do this minor aside: we learn that Barry's mom is a stay-at-home ninja...who apparently speaks Korean? The show has used Japanese quite a bit before, so it's not that they can't tell the difference.

7. Power-Up Puff

Sure, this episode may be just a way for them to introduce everyone to the hit new accessory that will come with all of these toys, but I can't hate on how they did it. The episode involves Buttercup and Bubbles suddenly getting Green Lantern powers that can easily defeat giant monsters. Blossom feels like the odd one out, as her powers don't seem to show up.

While it is a little predictable how this episode would turn out, even if all the merchandising, promos, and the one episode that aired before this didn't spoil this episode's twist, I can't fault this episode for how it did it. It actually made me feel an emotion other than bewilderment, disgust, or apathy, which is more than I can say for a lot of the early Season 1 episodes.

After I watched this episode, I was worried that they weren't going to use their fists anymore. It turns out they barely even use the aura powers outside of special occasions, so that's all moot. Not much to say, other than this episode isn't too bad.

Bad thing: I get that this episode was supposed to make Blossom feel sad that she doesn't have aura powers, but sometimes it just goes way beyond uncomfortable. This is especially true with this line from the guy I was praising a few paragraphs ago!

Sitcom Dad: We don’t know if you will get powers. You may even lose the powers you already have, and be an ordinary little girl for the rest of your life! Uh, I love you! Good night!

Honestly, I'm surprised I didn't come up with the Sitcom Dad joke sooner than Green Wing.

6. Lights Out!

As implied with my #1 worst, I almost considered putting Find Your Bliss on this list. However, I realized it was really only okay in the beginning, it just had one of the best endings in a show that desperately needed episodes that even ended properly. This is the best Bliss episode, and funnily enough, it's the only one that doesn't have the word Bliss in the title.

Beyond being the best Bliss episode, the episode itself is pretty good, too. It's one of the many, many episodes that involves a science fair, and Bliss is showing off the Buggly, an earpiece that can generate anything! It's all well and good, until the power cuts out and the Bugglies stop working. And then Bliss turns out to be Silico in disguise, as he uses the Bugglies to control all of Townsville. Definitely a step up over his previous appearances, including the aforementioned Take Your Kids To Dooms Day.

This all ends with a surprisingly good fight scene between a trio that can make auras and someone with the power to generate anything, with the telekinetic teleportation girl helping out in various ways. Bliss doesn't heavily overshadow the other three with her ultra-super-duper-powers, something her other episodes definitely don't do. I can understand Power of Four doing it for the vast majority of its runtime to show how cool she is, but Never Been Blissed is basically the Memory Lane of Pain for everyone not named Bliss. They don't go too far in the other direction, either. She's necessary, but not overpowered. Perfectly balanced, that's how it should be.

Bad thing: This is the episode that gave us the term "uphill rollercoaster", a running gag that has no bearing on the plot, and has absolutely no payoff. This can describe a lot of running gags throughout the whole reboot, actually.

5. Home, Sweet Homesick

Starting from here are episodes I felt were genuinely good. Not "good compared to most of the reboot", I mean actually worth a watch. This is the lowest of the 5, but it certainly deserves its spot among the best. See, the episode starts off with Discount Jojo's hand getting broken by Blossom, complete with a bone breaking sound. 10/10, great episode. I'm just kidding, the rest of the episode is good, too.

The funny thing is that this episode essentially has the same moral as Painbow, except done in reverse. In Painbow, Buttercup needs to learn that there's a time for fun and a time to be serious. In this one, it's the complete opposite; Blossom sneers at this fun space camp, and wishes it would be serious. Blossom would be the only kid ever to enjoy Mario is Missing, apparently.

A particular stand-out scene is a musical number that happens right when Blossom goes into space. It's a parody of Space Oddity, and it perfectly fits the episode's tone. I will admit that some of the reboot's musical numbers that don't involve Buttercup grandma beatbox solos are actually quite good by themselves, but this is the only one to be nominated for an Annie. In fact, it's the only Annie this reboot was nominated for; they didn't nominate that horrible princess episode unlike a certain lesser non-animation-related award show. Unlike that one, I could say that nomination was deserved. Maybe not a win, but still.

It's good to see a use of a moral that actually did it justice, and it's good to see Blossom learning to have fun. Kind of wish it sticked, but nothing seems to stick with the Reboot Puffs.

Bad thing: There really isn't a reason why this plot needed to be done with superheroes beyond how she can survive in a rocket without a spacesuit. I have no reason to wonder why this episode starts with a Discount Jojo beatdown. Maybe that's why it's so good; it doesn't feel like a PPG 2016 episode.

4. The Oct-Father

It's amazing to think that an episode I reviewed just over two weeks ago would make this list, and it's easy to see why. What starts out as a decent Godfather parody turns into a psychological thriller, where we get to see what the Powerpuff Girls are from the villain's point of view. Kind of like a version of Taken where we focus on the kidnappers. I always wanted to see that sort of thing; that's one of the reasons why I was intrigued by that Bureau of Bad comic. To make a long story short, I was disappointed with that one, but not with this one.

Princess is running a scheme where she takes kid's toys when they're away from them, and ask them to give her offers that she will probably refuse in exchange for them. She tries this with Octi, and finds out that Bubbles has become a hardcore monotonous vengeance-seeker. We see all of the emotions she goes through with this as she desperately tries to get Bubbles to break with no avail, to the point where she breaks. It's entertaining, and it made me want to know what's coming next.

This is the best episode of Season 3, though it's not the best Princess episode, believe it or not! Princess is one of the few original villains that the reboot has not ruined, and this episode isn't the only example of that.

Bad thing: No, I don't think asking Bubbles for Octi would have her give it to you, ending.

3. Poorbucks

As hinted before, "character development" is practically non-existent in PPG 2016. It's sort of ironic; as most western cartoons of the 10s tended to go towards arcs, PPG 2016 was perfectly happy by being episodic and having everything go back to the status quo. If Blossom learned how to have fun, she ended up hating fun in the next episode. If Buttercup learned anything, pfft. This episode felt like a glimpse into a universe where PPG 2016 was like other cartoons that were airing in 2016.

Princess' father's company's stocks go down by a lot, causing her to become poor enough for her to beg the Powerpuff Girls to have her live in their home. Bubbles and Buttercup disagree with having this person who wanted to tear down their house a day ago live with them, but Blossom wants to bring out the good in her. After many nights of her being annoying, Blossom and Princess eventually bond over business, and we get a tease of a Princess face turn. They seemed to do that a lot in this reboot, but this is the episode where it felt genuine.

With that plot, a really cute musical number in the style of Schoolhouse Rock, and an ending that is downright heartwarming, this episode is worth of the number 3 spot. The saddest thing is that this wasn't a Season 3 episode; it was a Season 1 episode, during a time where people could have thought this was just like Steven Universe's more episodic Season 1. It really made me think this show was going to go places, and while it's disappointing that they never really went anywhere with it, I can't fault this episode for it.

Bad thing: Gotta love that character that only existed as an excuse for Princess to be evil again! And by love, I mean loathe. I don't need to mention his name, because that's all he did.

2. Fashion Forward

Out of all of the new villains, the Fashionistas are easily the best out of all of them in practice. The only problem I have with them is the lack of in-universe explanation of why she's paired up with a giant pink gorilla. Sure, she's a good excuse for this team to be any sort of threat to the Powerpuff Girls, but is there any other reason? The best we get is that Bianca considers Barbarus her "sister" in Bridezilla, already implied by her having the same last name. Whatever, that's beyond the scope of this list.

A new brand of scarves designed by these fashionistas becomes the latest fashion trend, and the Powerpuff Girls are denied them by their father figure because the Fashionistas are sending the wrong messages. Blossom seems to be the one that agrees with him the most until her peers in the student council decide to kick her out. Will she disobey her father? It is a good premise that ties into the superhero element of the show very well.

This episode is also one of the good Sitcom Dad episodes, to the point where I could call him Professor Utonium here, too. He becomes active in trying to get Blossom to learn the lesson he was trying to teach them, to the point where he is the major player in taking down the Fashionista's big evil plan. It's not a bad lesson, either: don't bow down to peer pressure, and looks aren't necessarily everything as much as the Fashionistas say it is.

This is the best episode of Season 1, though I would say it is a very close call with Poorbucks. This was the first episode that really stuck out to me as a episode I would watch again, and that meant it was downhill from there...except for one certain episode in Season 2.

Bad thing: As much as the Sitcom Dad's antics here don't bother me as much as certain other episodes, it just seemed ridiculous that him saving the day was more of an accident than anything. If one argues that he accidentally did it because he accidentally hit the Chemical X...he didn't, Jojo pushed him into it. I hope they still remember that.

Honorable Mentions:

Blundercup - I can see why people would hate this episode due to the odd premise of Buttercup turning into butter, but I actually found it interesting. We see a villain with lousy powers take the abilities of the extremely overpowered by normal superhero standards Buttercup, and Buttercup has to beat this villain with those lousy powers. In a way, it reminds me of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, and anything that reminds me of Jojo's Bizarre Adventure needs to be in this list.

Splitsville - Here's another three shorts episode that was actually pretty good, with a neat idea for an ending! Too bad the Blossom part had that one scene, though. You'll know when you'll see it.

Our Brand Is Chaos - An excellent idea for an episode: Blossom going to all-but-said-to-be-Hell, and taking it over in her own way. Execution can use some work and it needed a better B plot, but still.

Man Up 2: Still Man-ing - This episode got a Neutral Buttercup when I reviewed it, but I can admit it grew on me over time. The minions, the motives, that killer vehicle Manboy has in this episode and only this episode, an actual fight scene in Season 1, I'd say this episode is a stand-out now.

Small World - This may be the only episode longer than 12 minutes I didn't hate at any point, though one part is a little disappointing than anything else. I was actually a bit intrigued with how the Powerpuff Girls could stop this Cheery Gumdrop Villain. Okay, maybe that villain wasn't that great, but still.

The Trouble With Bubbles - This episode could be a dishonorable mention as well, though I wouldn't call it a bad episode by any stretch of the imagination. It was so close to being an legitimately great episode, but it was ruined by the poor direction of the second half. What could have been great serious scenes are played for laughs for no reason. For a reboot that seems to love to have the "there's a time to be serious, and a time to be funny" moral, the reboot itself seems to need it the most!

Now that that's out of the way, here is a little backstory to this #1 pick. I watched quite a few episodes in Turkish. I will not say how, but I will say why: because episodes of PPG 2016 tend to air in other countries long before they get aired here, and getting a early look really helps with writing reviews even if I couldn't understand the language. When I saw this one in particular, I was convinced that this could either be the best episode of the reboot, or an episode that's almost worthy of being the best, and I only needed to know what they were saying to find out which. And, sure enough...

1. Bubbles The Blue

Much like Home Sweet Homesick, this episode was all about feelings. Specifically, this episode is about Bubbles being sad for some reason, and Blossom and Buttercup try to figure out ways to cheer her up. In a way, both of them end up missing the point. Here's a big hint to that: this episode is actually about depression. Not just being sad, but about the actual medical condition. That's not just one of my wacky theories, either; it's been confirmed to be about depression, and, for once, I sincerely believe that, because, unlike certain episode, they hit it out of the park with this one.

Buttercup deals with this in over the top ways, like stealing happy ray guns from Discount Jojo. Blossom, on the other hand, is just thinking it's something she did. In a way, Blossom is even more hurtful than Buttercup, as she eventually outright says that Bubbles must be doing this solely for attention, a sadly common line people with depression have to deal with. I've already detailed a lot of what this episode does right in my review of it, but there's one other aspect that needs to be highlighted.

Unlike Home Sweet Homesick, it seamlessly ties this serious message with the Powerpuff Girls' usual superhero setting. While they're trying to figure out what's wrong with Bubbles, Blossom and Buttercup keep getting interrupted by a giant armadillo that's destroying the city. We later learn that the armadillo actually has his own emotional problems, and only Bubbles could understand him. How does Bubbles get involved when she's constantly moping on the bed? Simple: the Professor decides to give her a talk about how it's okay to be sad sometimes. It's like he's an adult!

Best episode of Season 2, best episode of the reboot, way better than I thought it would ever be, and it might even crack the Top 50 Best Powerpuff Girls Episodes if I included episodes of the original. Okay, maybe I wouldn't go that far. Maybe.

Bad thing: I get what they were doing with Buttercup's character in this, but some of her antics are just not funny. One of the worst examples of this is right at the end, where she outright ruins the mood of what would have been a great final shot. This is especially bad when good final shots is something this reboot is starved for.

Well, that's it for the stack ups, but there's still two questions I need to answer.

How do the seasons stack up?

Season 1 is the season most people will think about when they think of this show, to the reboot's detriment. It was a growing period for the show, and "growing pains" would be an understatement. This was the season that brought us the twerking scenes, the references to internet memes, the Nike swoosh fight scenes, and 6 of the episodes on my worst list. Some may argue that Season 1's bumbling incompetency may be more interesting than the mediocrity that plagues most of Season 2 and 3. I disagree.

Season 2 is an improvement over Season 1 in every way. They toned down the meme references to the point where I can only think of that one reference to the late Grumpy Cat. It didn't have any twerking from the Puffs, and the crime fighting increased by quite a bit. Also, they didn't misspell the word "storyboarded by" in the credits at any point, which is an improvement over Season 1. It's not enough for a Happy, though.

Season 3 is a slight improvement over Season 2, if not as significant between the jump between Season 1 and 2. I would say that it did have a few more guilty pleasure episodes in my opinion, though they did not make the Top 10. It did give us its best special, as easy as that merit is, and it's good to see that the show didn't deteriorate like most last seasons. Sadly, it's not enough for me to consider giving it the Happy.

It is interesting to see the slight improvement over each season, which is sort of a tragedy considering the reboot is often represented by that No Me Gusta face it pulled in the first season. Sure, there were some rather ugly face faults in later episodes, but nothing got as bad as that. Speaking of which, I must answer one last question:

Was PPG 2016 really that bad?

It's not the absolute worst show that has ever aired on Cartoon Network; I'd rather watch this over Problem Solverz or Pet Alien. When it comes to The Powerpuff Girls...yeah, it's not a pretty comparison, let's leave it at that.

I'll say this: PPG 2016 is the worst of the three Cartoon Network reboots by a considerable margin. Teen Titans Go, while everyone loves to hate it, does have its moments of pure comedic gold, and it had a great movie. Ben 10 2016, from all I've seen, is a pretty good kid's action cartoon, and I have heard it's actually really good after the first season. Only time will tell if it compares favorably to Thundercats Roar, if that show ever gets to exist.

After watching every episode of this reboot, I can say that if I decided to stop watching the show after that twerking panda episode, I would have missed a little bit of content that is of at least decent quality. Unfortunately, that is a small minority of episodes in a muck of episodes that are mediocre at best.

It's not that bad, it's just not good. Watch the original series, watch the movie, watch that 2010 Powerpuff Girls Rule special, and give this one a pass. One may miss out on some decent episodes, but in the end, ignorance is bliss.

For those who read my reviews since the beginning, those who just found me because of these lists, and everyone in-between: thank you.

Hurrah for Cartoon Network and the Powerpuff Girls. Bye.

← The Final Stack Up (The Worst) ☆ n/a →

[greensparty]

Movies I’ve Seen Recently

Time for another lightning round of movies that I have seen recently but hadn’t had a chance to review until now:

It Chapter Two

I out and out loved 2017′s It Chapter I. So I was super-excited about Chapter II. I am reluctant to call this a sequel, since its not a sequel in the sense of “let’s do another movie with the same characters”, its the next part of the same exact Stephen King book that Chapter I was adapted from. Whereas the 1990 TV mini-series was adapting the entire book, Chapter I was about the kids taking on evil clown Pennywise and now Chapter II is about those kids 27 years later as grownups reuniting to defeat Pennywise who has returned to Derry, Maine. The cast is great, but it’s Bill Hader who steals the entire show. In recent years, with films like Skeleton Twins and his HBO show Barry, he has flexed his dramatic muscles and while there are some laughs, he really shines in this. I was not bored by any means, but it was a long movie. At 2 hours and 49 minutes there was too much set up for the big effective set pieces and not enough of the big effective set pieces. The first one was 2 hours and 15 min. As my friend said to me at the press screening “no need for this to be longer than Goodfellas” (which was 2 hours and 26 min. FYI). After the wildly successful Chapter I, director Andy Muschietti probably had too much freedom to make this as long as he wanted. I think if it clocked in at the same running time or shorter than Chapter I, it would’ve been stronger. Having said that, there are some good scares to be had, including the one that star Jessica Chastain called “the bloodiest scene in film history”. Proceed with caution

3 out of 5 stars

Crawl 

It’s been a long time since we had a good old fashioned Jaws rip-off. The best of them was 1980′s Alligator starring Robert Forster and written by John Sayles. Since we haven’t had a new one in a while, it kinda makes this one so exciting. When I first heard about Crawl, it peaked my interest. Director Alexandre Aja (check out his awesome 2003 film High Tension!) and producer Sam Raimi were doing this alligator horror film written by Michael and Shawn Rasmussen (full disclosure: Michael and Shawn are friends of mine). 

The great thing about any survival movie is the ticking clock. This one has two simultaneous clocks ticking: (1) the need to get out of the house during a category 5 hurricane before it floods, and (2) avoiding the alligators getting closer to them. I was on the edge of my seat throughout and found it to be rather plausible. It’s also been a while since we’ve seen Barry Pepper this good. This is a return to form for an actor I loved in Saving Private Ryan and The 25th Hour! It was a breath of fresh air in a Summer cluttered with sequels and reboots.

4 out of 5 stars

Once Upon a Time... in Hollywood

There are so many things I can say and write and analyze about this, but I’ll reduce it down to this: Quentin Tarantino’s new one is not only his best movie since Inglorious Basterds, it’s like a movie tailor-made for a film geek like me!

5 out of 5 stars

Spider-Man: Far from Home

This has been quite a year for the Marvel Cinematic Universe. First there was Captain Marvel, followed by Avengers: Endgame, both good flicks. But I thought this Summer’s Spider-Man: Far From Home was the best live-action Spider-Man movie we’ve seen since Sam Raimi’s Spider-Man 2! There - I said it. This one was loads of fun and its also a cool teens-on-school-vacation movie too (Italy, Netherlands, Prague, etc). While last year’s animated Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse felt new and exciting, this actually had quite a few surprises up its sleeve too. Of all the Summer event movie popcorn sequels, you can do a lot worse than this one.

4 out of 5 stars

[medea10]

Medea Plays - Pokemon Masters: Part 1

Yeah, in case you wanna be buds, here it is.

Now on with a shit-post!

So, for the past year or so, I had this reoccurring dream where I participated in this giant free-for-all pokemon competition with a bunch of other Pokemon trainers. Misty was there and so was Cheryl, Dr. Fennel, and Lorelei (because for some reason I always find myself dreaming about those three together). And a bunch of other trainers I can’t remember clearly.

AND DID I MENTION TRACEY WAS THERE TOO?! THAT’S AN IMPORTANT FACT!

I had several dreams involving battling with and against trainers. So imagine my shock that a game like that was in the works. And then imagine my disappointment when I learned it was only game characters and the only person I give a rat’s nutsack about was only in the anime. BUT HEY, THIS IS STILL FREAKIN’ AWESOME! Especially when they released that animated PV a few months ago!

If it means I could have trainers like Wallace or Dento-fruit battle with me, I’m all in this business.

Both are unavailable at the moment, Medea.

Killjoy! Okay, onto the game itself!

WOW am I happy we can go from English to Japanese audio with no problem or hacks or device crafted by Satan.

I’m not sure who voices who in the English cast. I saw the cast list and it’s mostly L.A. voice actors. So the people who voiced Origins and Generations are here again. Except, I am 100% certain that Lt. Surge is voiced by Patrick Seitz and I’m balls to the wall happy about that.

Japanese Cast, only some voices have been confirmed and I just want to say right off the back that I love Rosa!

God damn, she is like best girl in Unova! I know Leaf Green, Lana, and Lorelei are my Poke-waifus, but Rosa is inching closer to being upgraded to waifu status.

Because Aki Toyosaki voices her!

Thank you CockyTits. I’ve always liked my nickname.

Ouch.

Ouch Pokemon.

It gets worse when we see this same Ace Trainer have a panic attack in the Pokemon Center. Yeah, let’s all relate to this young man.

So we start with the usual suspects of Misty and Brock. But then we pick up speed when we add Rosa and Whitney.

Keep it in your pants Brock, she’s underage.

Kinda hard, dearie. You’re like the ONLY pink-haired anime girl who isn’t a violent, psychopath.

And then we get...

Ugh...How does one explain what Barry is?

An anal-retentive, nard-sack who doesn’t know what to do with a million dollars if he saw it right in front of his eyes!

Yeah, he bumps into you and blames you for it.

He fines you a million dollars.

He mistakes you for the bad guy and wildly challenges you (and his friend) to a battle.

He lushes over his father, Palmer.

And if Paul wasn’t an anime-exclusive character and in this, he’d want to have Paul’s babies!

Yeah, you’re still an entertaining butt-for-brains. But you are totally a butt-for-brains.

Well, we meet the antagonists of this game known as Team Break...

Oh, spare me! Team Galactic, Madonna circa 1998, and all the drag queens in John Waters’s movie Pink Flamingo have better fashion than you weirdos!

But of course we need more trainers to take on these vast variety of trainers that come out of the woodworks. That’s where the scouting comes in. Much like the rhythm games I play (like UtaPri and Love Live), you have to save up special items in order to either buy 1 or buy 10. If you’re lucky, you might get a 5-star trainer like Brendan or Kris. Let’s see how lucky I am with my impatient ass!

Koga’s daughter! Nice!

And yes, she mentions her father being an Elite Four member.

This loud fucker.

Him and his loud singing can wake the dead.

Crap yes! I love me some Gardenia!

So Gardenia mentioned what would happen if Roserade changed forms or it evolved into a new type like in other regions. Wait...a Roserade that’s a region variant, that’s also part ghost-type?

Is...Is that going to happen?

Sword and Shield, are you guys making this happen? Is this foretelling the future?

Wait, who are yo...OH, right. Mr. Supreme Tan-Lines! And finally...

AAAAHHHHH! IT’S WINONA! Oh please, please mention Wallace. Give us Gracefulshippers some hope in this game!

Aside from that, we have a new Professor, and good news, it’s a female! Professor Bellis!

Ooh...No. Stranger danger!

Lady, you say at least 5 words from different languages in every sentence you speak. You are in no right to criticize!

Even the Hiker isn’t falling for your Beto accent!

Wait...Flannery’s grandpa was a member of the Elite Four? Oh wait, she does mention it in the manga. Never mind.

There’s the Brock we all know...

Well yeah, Erika’s henchmen have the ability to make stupid men weak in the knees.

Well after a few attempts, I got my badge from Erika. Yeah, that Vileplume of hers is a bitch.

If only I can get Flannery to use a Sync Move that brings upon the powers of Beelzebub, I could have finished this sooner.

Oh well.

To be continued.