#we know they spent a lot of time making the headquarters

[jackie-shitposts]

re: your headcanon as to what ivy and zack do when we don't see them, i love your ideas!! it makes a lot of sense and works very well with what we've seen them do in the eps (zack picking up carmen in paris, ivy with her evergiven, it seems she was initially supposed to find them food while waiting for carmen in paris, them looking for the doubloon in ep4...). also i love the great team red scenarios this conjure, like all the nice moments spent together after a successful caper. i love them your honor

YES YES EXACTLY. THEYRE A TEAM AND A FAMILY!!! I'm gonna go into more specifics since you have given me the loveliest opportunity to do so!

Original Post (with my tags below it)

I definitely think that Zack and Ivy do a lot of the caper preparations and keeping them alive. Ivy and Zack, when they seemingly aren't apart of capers, are doing caper prep things like:

Exploring the city; they figure out routes of travel and find hotels, food places, and escape routes.

Paperwork: The two check into hotels, arrange car rentals, order plane tickets, and pick up supplies they need

Ivy does a lot of mechanical work outside of capers. She's working on Carmen's glider, grappling hook, red drone, ect.

Zack does things like cooking, packing, and laundry. hes a housewife love him for it

I know most people think that Player does a lot of those things, but I don’t think he does it all. Between constantly being in Carmen’s ear, hacking the hard drive, hacking into things during capers, and being a homeschooled kid (which takes SO MUCH DAMN TIME), I find it unbelievable that he does ALL of it. Though I do think he does some, especially the last minute changes to travel and wiring funds from VILE to different charities.

I also think Zack and Ivy play an integral role in getting the team to RELAX. Zack especially knows the importance of work and play, so they make sure the team has chill time

They!!! Find!!! Food places!!! Local bars (with karaoke ofc) for the team to get food and drinks. They also pick up food to go for the team

They find some fun things to do! i like to think they do paintball a lot

zack makes carmen, ivy, and shadowsan (when he can) go to spas with him. SOMEONE needs to make this team relax jfc

video games! they all play video games together, and zack is often looking for an arcade. player hacks the arcade games for him <3

They all work together to fight VILE. Carmen and Player dont do all the heavy lifting! Zack and Ivy are the balance to Carmen, Player, and Shadowsan. they remind the team to take breaks and have fun- theyre on carmen sandiego’s never-ending tour, theyve got to enjoy it!

[ashley-foster-13]

Can I request a "maze runner boys × reader having their first kiss." Like what would be the scenerio and stuff. Thank you♡

TMR x Reader having their first kiss

Thomas:

- oblivious puppy we all know that

- you came up before him, so there wasn’t much time to get to know each other

- in the wicked headquarters, when Teresa got taken away and you didn’t, you were the one trying to calm him down and helped to search for her

- you almost had a heart attack when he barely slid under those doors

- kept nudging you forward so that you don’t fall behind when you were running away

- when Winston passed away, you grabbed his hand for support, squeezing hard, and he squeezed back, letting a few tears spill from his eyes

- you finally realized you’ve fallen for each other

- cold nights in the scorch were warmed by his huge bear hugs

- I mean, literally, he has large arms and super protective hugs

- always makes you feel wanted

- so back to business, you arrived in the Right Arm, everyone had a chance to finally relax, you and Thomas went to search for Teresa

- At some point you stop and take both his hands in yours

- “You have to stop throwing yourself in danger like this”

- “But I have to protect-”

- “You can’t save everyone, Thomas. And who will save you?”

- hug him tightly, as if at any moment he’d disappear

- “I just car about you all,” he says, his hands gently drawing circles on your back, “I care about you,” he adds, then pulls back

- you look at him, not really understanding what he’s getting at

- his warm hand touches your cheek, doing the thumb thing

- and then he leans in

- and you do, too

- the kiss is very gentle and soft and loving

- you are his world and he is yours

- both of you pull back, smiling sheepishly

- *beat* *both, blurting out* I love you

- laugh at your perfect timing)

- he starts kissing you again, but you step back, because from the corner of your eye, you saw a wicked berg…

Newt:

- long story short, two oblivious idiots in love

- Minho’s “lovebirds!” jokes weren’t helping, only leading both of you to believe that the feelings aren’t mutual

- spent a lot of time with him in the gardens as a track-hoe

- deep, meaningful conversations

- QuAlItY tImE

- once he accidentally hurt his bad leg

- you helped patch him up

- it triggered him, and so he decided to confide in you, just let it all out and be done with it

- let’s just say it was really sad and emotional

- since then you became even closer

- you would stay with him in the Med hut, trying to cheer him up

- you didn’t even have to do anything, you being there is a boost to his mood already

- once you were sitting together on his bed and you started falling asleep

- he tried to shake you up, but you only wrapped your arms around his neck and clung to him

- unconsciously, of course

- you were just so sleepy, and he was so cozy, and…

- he wouldn’t stop smiling, admiring the girl in his arms

- feels like the luckiest guy ever

- kisses the top of your head, thinking you’re asleep

- TA DAM you’re not.

- you slowly get up, any tiredness completely gone

- and you blush, and he blushes, and you’re eyes widen

- then, surprising you both, you press your lips to his

- man, he didn’t expect that

- doesn’t kiss back, scaring the bloody hell out of you, because you think you did s wrong thing

- but then his hand is on the back of your neck, another around your waste, and his lips meet yours again

- boy, he did know how to kiss. No idea how, but he. just. knows.

- so careful, yet so passionate

- both of you pull back rather quickly

- ToUcHiNg FoReHeAdS

- “I think it’s the right time to say I love you” he breathes

- you look into his chocolate eyes and smile

- rub your noses together, peck his lips once more

- and once more

- and then his cheek, making his breath hitch

- “love you, too, mister Newton”

Minho:

- The two of you are sassy, no denying that

- but before you became an official couple, you were just so shucking shy like oh my

- and he didn’t understand it at first

- then he grew to like it

- and like you

- he would sit with you at lunches whenever he had a day of, and made sure to have a brief conversation with him at bonfire

- you would always be rather timid and polite, until one day you ACTUALLY SASSED BACK

- it surprised him so much he would just open his mouth and stare at you for a few seconds

- “are you okay?”

- after that, he knew there was more to you than shyness

- he taught you confidence

- maybe you taught him to be a tiiiiiiiny bit humble

- (unlikely thought, duh)

- one day you couldn’t find him anywhere, so you went to the map room

- and yup, he was there, leaning over the table covered with maps with a grim expression

- you asked him what was wrong, and even tried to joke

- he would always laugh at your poor attempts to joke

- he was silent

- so you walked up to him and took his hand

- “what’s wrong?”

- it was the first time he was so open with anyone about his problems

- it just, like, spilled out

- and then you hugged him, because you knew he needed it

- he almost squeezed the air out of you, but you didn’t care

- “there is a way out, I promise. You’re doing your best to find it, and I know you will”

- “And what is I don’t?” you were taken aback, because he sounded on the verge of tears, “What if there’s no way out?”

- you pulled back, making him look at you

- “There is. And you’ll find it.”

- the way his eyes watered made yours burn, too

- to put you both out of your misery, you leaned down and kissed him

- he held you like you were his last hope

- his lips so soft and arms so strong

- barely audible moans made you shiver

- when you pulled back, you saw a few tears escaping his eyes

- but he stood straighter

- “thank you”

Gally:

- most people would say he’s not the type to fall in love or fall for, but actually quite the opposite

- instantly noticed you, but never thought you noticed him

- was shocked when you walked up to him and asked for help

- like, why him?

- alright, it didn’t mean anything, so he just went on and helped

- all the while you more and more understood that grumpiness is not his only face

- you got a job as a builder and so you had more time to spend together

- he was so talkative around you

- your conversations would occasionally be really, really deep

- one time you told him you weren’t sure you were beautiful, since there were no mirrors in the Glade

- it really stung him

- like, how could you, YOU, not feel beautiful? You were gorgeous

- when you walked to your hut, you’ve found something on your pillow

- a flower and a note

- “you’re beautiful”

- it actually made you cry

- next morning he came in to ask for something, you literally ran up to him with a hug

- he felt kinda awkward

- when you pulled back, he said “What was that for?”

- you saw a hint of a smile on his lips

- it made you smile even wider

- suddenly he was all serious, placing his hands on your shoulders

- “Don’t ever think you’re not beautiful. You are. If any of those shanks ever says otherwise, I’ll beat the living klunk out of them.”

- unbelievable man.

- watches you for a few seconds

- then carefully leans in, searching for any sign on your face that you don’t want to

- but you do, so when you’re sure about what he’s doing, he close the gap between you

- you have to try it to know how good it feels

- and so gally kept his promise, and you never felt not beautiful ever again

[altsvu]

don’t shut me out

pairing: aaron hotcher x black!fem!reader

requested by @blackbeautifulqueen: Aaron hotchner x black!reader where reader is really confused as to why Aaron is dating her when he goes for skinny, straight blond hair, blue eyed white women. And she starts to think that maybe he is just dating her to see how dating a black girl would be so she closes herself off and he urges her to tell him what wrong and when she tells him he asked “where is all of this coming from”, maybe???❤️❤️

wc: 833

summary: a part of you thinks that Aaron isn’t really all that into you and it causes you to shut him out, but he changes that.

cw: stereotypes, angst, lots of fluff (from hotch)

a/n: i think this was super interesting to write, i hope you enjoy it!! 🫶🏽

criminal minds masterlist! ✯ taglist!

✯✯✯✯

You loved Aaron. A lot. But sometimes you wondered why he chose you.

You knew about Aaron’s last relationship, but you also knew his type because you’ve had the conversation with him before.

So the question still remained with you.

Why you?

And this is where your overthinking side came in. You wondered if he just wanted to “scope the scenery” as they say nowadays, and see what it was like to date a black woman. You hated feeling like a social experiment or someone’s “first”.

But it can’t be, he loves you. Right?

All of your overthinking turned into paranoia and it caused you to distance yourself from him. Diminished phone calls, texts, and you haven’t spent time with him in over two weeks. You claimed it was because of work, but that definitely wasn’t the case as your line of work was nowhere near demanding as Aaron’s line of work.

Out of the blue, you saw a text from Aaron that made your heart drop.

Aaron: Baby, we need to talk soon. I miss you.

You were so wrapped up in your thoughts that you didn’t believe that he missed you.

You: I do too. Let’s talk tomorrow night.

That aught to ease him for the rest of the day.

✯✯✯✯

Tomorrow night came a little too fast for you but there was no way you could back out now. You were the one that sent the time.

Aaron asked you if it was okay if he came over to your place, he thought it would be easier since it was closer to the BAU headquarters.

You nervously paced around your living room, waiting for the doorbell to ring, waiting for Aaron’s presence. As much as you kept your distance from him, you still enjoyed his presence.

He treated you like royalty. And not just because you had talked to him about your past relationships. Because he actually cared about you.

But that thought still lingered.

Why you?

*Ding dong*

He was here. You drew in a few breaths and opened the door for him. He looked good, all 6’2 of him.

“Hi.” You smiled.

“Hi baby. You gonna let me in?”

You laughed softly. “Come in.”

You shut the door behind him and Aaron put his bag down by the door. He pulled you into his arms for a long awaited kiss and you gave in at first because it just… felt so right.

But you couldn’t.

Why you?

It was as if you had the devil and angel on either side of you forcing you to make a decision.

“I can’t.” You whispered after kissing him for a few seconds. You walked away from him and went to the kitchen to pour two glasses of wine.

“Wha- Y/N…” Aaron started. He followed you into the kitchen, leaning against the doorframe. “What’s going on? Did I do something?”

You handed him his wine and carefully paced around the kitchen with your glass in your hand.

How were you gonna word this to him? You wanted answers desperately, but it was hard for you to get the words out.

You took a gulp of your wine. Something you never did.

“Y/N.”

“Hmm?”

“Don’t shut me out. What’s wrong?”

You went back to the living room, Aaron following suit, to sit down on the couch.

And you poured your guts out to him. It ended in you crying.

“I just want to know, why me?”

Aaron set his glass down, and set yours down as well to prevent you from gulping the rest. He then took your hands and held them.

“Baby, where is all of this coming from?”

You shrugged, letting your tears fall down. You honestly couldn’t think of a legitimate answer.

“Y/N. Look at me.” Aaron whispered, gently lifting your chin. You reluctantly looked at him.

“I don’t want you to ever think I have a preference for my significant other. Yes, my past relationships may not have been the best reflection of that, but I didn’t start falling in love with you because I wanted to test the waters.”

“I love you for you. That’s why. I love the way your eyes gaze into mine all hours of the day, I love your laugh, I love your beautiful pearly white smile, I love how you make me laugh, I love how you stay true to yourself and your values. I could go on and on, but we’d be here all night.”

“Y/N. I love you for you. Don’t ever forget that.”

You felt new tears forming. All of those thoughts you had were gone, with no reason for them to come back ever.

You needed reassurance, in a way, that you weren’t being used or that he was with you for one reason only.

“Thank you Aaron.” You croaked out. He pulled you into his arms in response and you curled up into a ball beside him.

“So should we finish what we started?”

✯✯✯✯

taglist: @averyhotchner @storiesofsvu @ssaic-jareau @blackbeautifulqueen @mstrinnyb @will-on-the-internet

[sapphire-weapon]

So. The tram scene.

Let's do it.

The tram scene in RE2make is a test that Ada fails spectacularly, and it's the scene that destroys the possibility of a romance ever forming between Leon and Ada in the Remake-verse.

The entire game leading up to this moment, Leon has not stopped questioning her. Sometimes he pushes back on her answers as being this side of unbelievable, but since she always does seem to have an answer ready, there's not much more he can do other than to take her at her word.

He follows her through Raccoon City for the sole reason that he gets the sense that she's going to lead him to the answers that he's looking for, one way or another. Either she really is FBI and he's helping out in a serious investigation, or she's not and she's part of the problem. Either way, his goal is to find out what happened to the city, so either way, he wins.

But he wants her to be FBI so badly. He wants it so fucking badly. But it feels wrong. Something about Ada is off, and he knows it.

The entire game is spent in a very careful dance between Leon and Ada. He's trying to probe her for information without being too obvious about his mistrust, and she's trying to give as little as possible without being too suspicious.

They both tip their hands at the very start of the tram scene.

Leon: "You know what I was thinking? I can't wait for the FBI to raid Umbrella headquarters and take those bastards to justice."

Leon says this because he knows how the FBI works. It's never stated explicitly in canon, but it stands to reason that Leon has a Bachelor's degree in criminal justice. He's spent a lot of money to study this, and he's still fresh out of school, with all of that knowledge still readily available in his head.

He knows that Ada's "investigation" makes no sense at this stage of the game; there's no reason for the FBI to still be gathering information. The city is fucked. It's time to clean up. He wants to see what Ada's reaction to this is -- if she'll promise that a raid is coming once she finds a way in, or if maybe she'll have some other response that shows that she also knows how the FBI works.

She doesn't.

Her response is:

"I agree... but to be clear, you're not working in official capacity. This is a federal case. Once we get the G-Virus, I'm back on my own."

It's a response that doesn't make sense and doesn't address what Leon actually said to her in the first place. He never mentioned being part of that raid; he never expressed a desire to aid the FBI in any way other than what he's already been doing. He just wants to know that a raid will happen.

But that's not what Ada says. She brings it back to the G-Virus, specifically, for no good reason.

Leon's body language is very telling in this moment. He basically gives up -- he all but rolls his eyes at her as he makes a dismissive half-shrug with one arm meant to convey "whatever" and turns his back on her.

He knows that she just gave him the wrong answer. And she senses immediately that she did, too -- which is why she's quick to follow up with: "Hey, Leon... Trust me?"

He doesn't answer. He turns back around, approaches her directly, and says: "You trust me?"

This is another subtle tactic to try to get her to tell him the truth. He's very discreetly saying that no, he doesn't trust her -- and that he knows that she's lying. He's asking her why she doesn't trust him enough to tell him the truth.

It flies right over her head. She answers: "Honestly... If I didn't, you'd probably be dead."

Again, she fails to address what it was that he actually said. Again, he's disillusioned by her. Again, it's written all over his face and his body language. He gives a bitter little "Right." and nods and turns away from her again.

And once again, Ada can sense that she's failing this test. She tries to pull him back in with: "Look, I thought I might need your help... and I was right. If you can secure the G-Virus, I can make sure what happened in Raccoon City never happens again." Admitting to needing help makes her seem vulnerable, which makes her seem honest. And she's able to strike directly at the heart of what Leon's been after all along: helping people, protecting people, and uncovering the city's secrets.

And because Leon wants to believe that she's FBI so damn badly, he takes this as the affirmation he was looking for. All of a sudden, he's quick to rush to her side, to sit down next to her, and start talking to her again like she really is a Special Agent.

Leon: "Ada... You said it yourself -- it's a federal case. I don't have the authority--" Ada: "Leon, look at me. I'm a liability now. If I'm gonna finish this case, you're the last hope I've got." Leon: "I'm not just gonna leave you here. What if you're attacked, what if you need help--"

That's when she kisses him.

And if you look at his face, he's not thrilled.

Ada kissed him because she smelled the virginity on him and thought that a move like that would addle his dumb man brain (side note: Ada and Lady D would get along so fucking well; no wonder why Ada was axed from RE8) and cement her hold on him. But his expression when she pulls away is one of profound disappointment; you can almost see the realization dawn on him in real-time that she actually, really, truly isn't an FBI Special Agent -- because an FBI Special Agent would have never done that.

If Ada had just let him ramble and then followed up with her next speech, she would've gotten away with it. But she didn't. She took that next step to kiss him, and that undoes all of her effort in winning him back over.

But at this point, what is he supposed to do? Say, "Just kidding"? Throw a fit and accuse her on the spot? With what evidence? He has none. "I just know" isn't evidence.

She keeps talking through the next few seconds, and Leon never cuts her off or joins in on the conversation. He just stares at her hand on his thigh with that same expression on his face until the tram arrives at NEST. Ada shoves the ID bracelet in his hand, and that's when he finally speaks.

And all he says is: "Okay."

He's decided to buy into her lie, despite knowing at this point that it's a lie, because he feels he has no other choice. And that's why the scene ends with:

Ada: "Leon. I'm counting on you." Leon: "... I know."

And not with Leon saying something more akin to, "I won't let you down."

And as he leaves, Ada drops her chin to her chest and stares at the floor. She already knows how badly she fucked that up. That's ultimately why she comes looking for him at the end of the game. As Leon walks out of the tram, Ada knows that she can't fully rely on him to do what she asked, because his unconvincing exit said so many more words than he did.

That's why she's so quick to draw a gun on him at the end of the game. She goes into the final confrontation with him already knowing that he already, on some level, knows. And all Annette Birkin did was give him the confirmation he needed.

When Leon says to Ada during that final confrontation: "As much as I wanted to trust you... I didn't." he means it.

There was never a romance between them in this version of events. He never fell for her, and she never fell for him. But that doesn't mean that there was no bond that built between them. Leon also meant it when he said: "We make a good team." In Remake, he truly wanted to be her partner -- her equal. Just... not her lover.

And as for Ada, I've said in the past that she's a selfish character in Remake, and I stand by that. But she's not a psychopath. Just because she's selfish doesn't mean that she's incapable of attachment or affection -- in fact, Ada's shown to be sentimental in a few different ways. She feels endeared to Leon the same way that someone would feel endeared to a stray cat that followed them around and rubbed against their leg for pets. And that's why she ultimately can't pull the trigger on him. (side note: this is also probably the reason why she refuses to call Ashley by name at any point in RE4make; it prevents Ada from getting attached to her in any sort of capacity, but that's for a different post.)

But there's just simply no evidence of a romance existing between Leon and Ada at any point in the Remake-verse. I've gone looking for it, and I can't find it. Aeon is something that only canonically exists in OG. Remake has no interest in it.

Anyone who says differently is applying OG dialogue and events to Remake, and that's just poor and invalid story analysis.

[bestworstcase]

Suddenly reminded of your remark in one of your essays about Lionheart being the token Faunus headmaster in the academy system, and something about… idk the irony of him being in Mistral, which you indicate is one of the most racist places for Faunus aside from Atlas. Just amusing cuz I never saw that take before.

not just irony, imo, i think it does a lot of thematic work for the faunus subplot

regarding the question of whether atlas or mistral is worse for faunus: while faunus are systemically disadvantaged in all four human kingdoms (and menagerie is politically marginalized on the international stage)…

in atlas/mantle:

jacques schnee, a virulent bigot behind closed doors, is at pains to present himself as a tolerant benefactor to the faunus in public; one of his conversational partners during the charity party in v4 is another businessman who pushes back on jacques’ covertly bigoted rhetoric by specifically citing class disparities between atlas and mantle and the reality that faunus in particular face a lack of opportunity that can’t be overcome by just being employed. this bit character isn’t an activist—he’s a businessman. that means these are mainstream, normative viewpoints in atlas.

mantle news media and law enforcement are apathetic to the disappearance of several faunus in arrowfell, but when it turns out that the man responsible is a political figure beloved by mantle’s human working class, his support evaporates. (there’s further nuance in that he acted under duress, but even his most enthusiastic supporters react to the news that he hurt faunus miners with horror)

robyn—also a beloved political figure to the mantelian working class—explicitly includes faunus and this does not diminish her support with humans in mantle whatsoever.

when racist grandma goes off in v8, her daughter tries anxiously to get her to stop and, importantly, nobody else in the crowd of scared / stressed out / angry people in mantle speak up in agreement with her.

when weiss slams a drunk guy into a dumpster for making a racist remark to blake, the drunk guy’s buddy more or less just goes “woah!” and then double-takes because is that weiss schnee—what he doesn’t do is react like he thinks weiss or blake was the one out of line.

in the CFVY novels, it’s revealed that velvet’s dad works for the atlas military and she’s spent at least some time in atlas with him, but she doesn’t feel any particular wariness toward people from atlas or assume that they’ll be racist to her until they prove otherwise.

ilia remembers her classmates at an atlesian prep school being very openly racist, which tracks with how weiss is when she arrives at beacon; these were, in all likelihood, largely the children of covert bigots like jacques—kids who picked up rancid attitudes at home and lived in a sheltered bubble where these attitudes were allowed.

SDC operates globally, so we don’t know where adam suffered that hate crime or what happened to the perpetrator

so, while atlas/mantle do have systemic racism against faunus and some individuals are quite bigoted on an interpersonal level, it plainly isn’t socially acceptable in atlas or mantle to be openly racist, because a strong majority of the populace in both cities seems to fall somewhere between neutral to supportive of faunus rights. given the “no faunus” sign the madame had in her swanky hotel a decade ago, this may be a fairly recent swing in public opinion.

in mistral:

the white fang is headquartered in mistral and the bulk of its operations seem to be focused there, suggesting that this is where the pain is sharpest; sun, who attended haven academy and isn’t exactly a deep thinker, scorns the group as a “cult” and “a bunch of creeps who use force to get whatever they want,” which is less an objective statement of fact than it is an expression of what the dominant cultural narrative in mistral probably is

mistral has sundown towns.

qrow is from mistral; his narration of the world of remnant faunus episode is laced with very clear unexamined biases even though his stance is generally pro-faunus—very much what you’d expect from a guy who grew up in a very racist environment (there are no faunus in the branwen tribe) and then learned better but never really did the work to unpack his subconscious aversion to faunus

lionheart is politically marginalized to such an extent that he’s able to plausibly use his impotence with the council as cover for his deliberate sabotage

during mistral’s prewar occupation of vacuo, faunus were enslaved in mistrali dust mines in vacuo as per the CFVY novels

in stark contrast to velvet’s indifference to atlas, she is terrified of mistralis and associates the kingdom with, specifically, sexually charged racist harassment; so while in atlas she undoubtedly dealt with microaggressions and the occasional open racist, her experience with people from mistral has led her to presume “virulent bigot” as the default.

at least some businesses are segregated even in the present. (and at least one of qrow’s informants is a regular at a segregated noodle shop, underscoring the previous point about his attitudes)

now obviously there are mistralis who aren’t aggressively racist and others who support faunus rights, the kingdom isn’t a monolith, but the details were given suggest that open bigotry is normative and socially acceptable; there are certain places in mistral where faunus risk being murdered just for setting foot there. mistrali faunus may not face such quite sharp economic pain as in atlas (because the systemic issues mantelian faunus deal with intersects with the rampant classism which harms everyone in mantle), although mistral also has steep class divides that would likewise fall harder on faunus than on humans; but it seems to me that mistral is, culturally, a lot more hostile to faunus than atlas/mistral with bigotry allowed to flourish out in the open.

and, a pit stop before bringing this around to lionheart: ozpin offers lukewarm vocal support to the cause of faunus rights and vague platitudes about “taking strides” to close the divide (which blake calls him on in remarkably sharp terms given the sheer amount of power he holds over her as her headmaster), but… he shames blake for hiding her cat ears rather than do anything about the racist bullying that goes on at his school; he singles out blake, clearly suspects her of being salem’s spy and makes implicit threats when she doesn’t cooperate; he jumps to the worst possible conclusion about lionheart but trusted ironwood without hesitation in v5 despite ironwood’s objectively much more alarming behavior; he gifted lionheart salem’s old tea-set. so ozpin is not… especially a good ally to the faunus even though he notionally is on their side.

which brings us to lionheart. why did salem choose HIM, out of all the headmasters or teachers she could have tried to convert into a spy?

she picked the one faunus—not just headmaster, lionheart is the only faunus faculty-member we’ve met so far. the faunus appointed by the ruling council of a notoriously racist council to be the headmaster of the school where a faunus student absorbed the message that the faunus civil rights movement is a violent cult.

in other words, the most vulnerable member of the inner circle, someone who would have been walking a precarious political tightrope under extreme pressure to be absolutely beyond reproach because anything less would have gotten him torn to shreds, figuratively speaking, by a hostile public; and as if that isn’t bad enough, ozpin didn’t trust him either. ozpin is extremely quick to jump to the conclusion that lionheart is a traitor, in contrast to his blithe certainty that taking the lamp to atlas after ironwood closed the borders and withdrew his troops from mistral right before salem attacked haven!!

raven asks lionheart what salem has on him. it’s this. it’s him being the token faunus headmaster with his hands tied by the council in front of a racist public that he knows will rip him apart if he screws up even a little, and allies he can’t count on to have his back because ozpin is weird about faunus too.

is it any wonder that he folded like wet cardboard when salem threatened him. ozpin thinks she was just so scary that she sank her claws into lionheart and deleted his courage but the reality is the man was working under enough pressure to turn anyone into a nervous wreck with or without salem putting her thumb on the scales, and she just… recognized that and took advantage.

[malina-33]

Femme like you - Chapter 1

Summary: You are the new tour manager for Arctic Monkeys during The Car era. You are practically the only girl in the team, also younger than the rest (27), so your skills are immediately called into question. In particular, by the frontman who is not used to being led by a woman.

Word count: 3,1k

Warning: age gap

A/N: Hi, you all!!! I'm so thrilled and excited to do this kind of stuff, but it feels like I'm making my dream come true. This series won't be very long even though I have an eye-watering number of moments I want to release in this fic, but English isn't my first language and it's pretty tough to write in it (so if you find any mistakes don't be afraid to text me and correct). I spent a lot of time to write this small opening chapter, that’s why following parts won't appear regularly, but I promise to uptade them every 2-3 weeks! They will definitely be longer that the opener😉

I read a lot of works with Alex, 'cause my addiction doesn't seem to disappear, so this idea just popped in my head and I couldn't resist. Never thought that I would be an author, not a reader in Tumblr, but voila - here I am. I really expect you to love it❤️

And yes, I know that their current tour manager is Steven Champan, but for the story I changed it slightly, hope you won't mind :)

“James, seriously?” Alex looked away in bewilderment from the bottle of Hennessy to Ford.

“More than you can imagine” producer chuckled. “I will be with my family in Scotland, I haven’t seen them in a while, and she will replace me for the UK and European parts only, it’s about one and a half months”.

Turner looked him up and down with a displeased look, still sitting on the couch with a bottle in his hands “That’s ridiculous. She has never worked with us! She will break into all our well-established processes, not knowing the specifics of the work and will only interfere. We'll make it on our own, not the first time, man, huh?” Alex decided to soften his tone a little to appease his friend and cutely knitted his eyebrows.

“Al, you are being childish. C’mon, we have already agreed on everything, she is a good specialist, don't let yourself be deceived by her appearance” Ford threw a jacket over his shoulders, silently saying that the conversation is over.

“Just because she's your friend's daughter doesn't mean she's good!” The singer spat out the last argument hoping to reach out to the conscience of their producer.

“Give her a chance, you won't be disappointed” James said mysteriously, closing the door quietly behind him and leaving the disgruntled frontman alone with his obsessive thoughts.

***

You sat in your car in the parking lot in front of the Domino Records headquarters, nervously clutching a Starbucks cup. There were still 20 minutes before the meeting, but you arrived early. All the documents had already been signed, the agreements had been discussed, but the most thrilling moment remained - the meeting with the group itself and the technical crew.

When James Ford, your father's old friend from university and at the same time music producer for Arctic Monkeys, called you several weeks ago with an unusual request, you simply didn't have a chance to refuse. You've been dreaming of working in this industry since 16, especially since you adored this group and were at their concerts six times. Being their manager for one part of the 7th album tour sounded like a fantasy, but here you are, sitting in front of their label building, where you have a meeting with the musicians. If you caught the lucky girl syndrome, then you definitely didn’t want to let it go. At least not now.

From the trance into which you plunged by shaking coffee in the cup, you were brought out by the deafening creak of tires on asphalt. You immediately snapped out and looked in the rearview mirror. An elegant Cadillac whistled and stopped 3 parking lots away from you just passing the dividing line.

You weren't stupid not to realize whose car it was. The passenger got out, slamming the door sharply. He was wearing a beige trousers and matching jacket with black vest underneath, translucent red aviators were on despite a cloudy day. Paying no attention to your car and not even bothering to close his, a man quickly walked inside the building.

You followed the door closed behind Alex Turner itself with a blank look, finished your coffee in one gulp and also got out of the car, taking your purse from the passenger seat. Having heard about his "punctuality", you assumed that everyone else had already arrived, so you walked to the building as well. "There's no point in delaying this moment, let's start early" you bravely told yourself.

The studio in southwest London wasn't as big as you expected it to be. The guard pointed you to room 14, saying that you were already awaited. Inside, the bright corridors were hung with rare photographs, including images of early Monkeys' concerts. You smiled slightly as you looked at the photos of four young people laughing with their hands in their pockets. "Nice time" you thought.

You didn't really understand why you were so inflamed. You are all adults, lads have been warned about the change in management in advance so it won’t be a surprise for them, what could be the problem? You had enough work experience to know what to do, you were excellently good-looking and successful, then why did your palms sweat? Immersed in your thoughts you didn’t notice that you had reached the end of the corridor and stopped at the half-open door, from behind which quiet voices could be heard.

“Oi, she better buy me a bottle of beer on the way, my head hurts after yesterday. Why did I come so early, gosh?”

“It's been 5 minutes since you've been here, and you've already blown my mind’’. Seemed that it was Matt.

"I prefer to come sober to meetings scheduled in advance, but for the future I will keep in mind to see you no earlier than Tuesday, Mr. Turner”. Maybe it wasn’t the best greeting phrase, but you just couldn't resist. When you entered the room with these words, 7 surprised pairs of eyes met your figure. Alex, Matt and Nick were sitting on a leather sofa in the center of the room, Jamie was pouring water into a glass at a side table, Steven was sitting in a chair talking to Ben, who was reclining on the arm of this chair, behind them was a man whose name you didn’t know.

"I'm sorry," you quickly became embarrassed, realizing how inappropriate those words sounded. Silence reigned in the room for a few seconds, but was quickly interrupted by the awkward coughing of that same unfamiliar man. "Um guys, this is your new tour manager for these two months, Y/N Y/S" He said softly enough, stepping out from behind the chair and holding out his hand for you. "I'm Marcus, James' assistant, the rest you should know".

"Yeah, right, he told me about you, I'm very glad to meet you," and carefully shifting your gaze to the others you added "everyone".

You stood in your knee-length leather boots, denim shorts and an oversized cream-colored jacket not knowing what to do with the burning eyes on your persona.

"Actually, I brought a homemade cider as an ice-breaker, it's in my trunk, so after the official part of the meeting we can try it. Not beer, but still tasty," you said with an apologetic smile, trying your last attempt to ease the conversation. The room froze in silence once again, and in this moment Matt laughed out loud, slapping his knee and throwing head back on the headboard. Jamie and Nick joined him, smiling broadly, while Ben, Steven, and Marcus chuckled hoarsely as they looked at each other. Only Alex remained frowning as he continued to scan your figure.

"I like her already! Great move, miss Y/S" Matt said, obviously being amazed.

You breathed a sigh of relief as you sat down in the chair Marcus offered you. He was noticeably younger than the others, near your age, which immediately made you sympathize with him.

"Well, when we finally got to know each other, let's get down to business. As you all know James is on an unscheduled vacation due to family circumstances. Hence we are going to work with Miss Y/S in UK and Europe festivals, while I will assist her. I know that Y/N discussed with James all the main points about dates, places and stuff, but now we have to delve into details of the organization process itself. Ben and I will explain the tech part and the lads will share their preferences" Steven began the discussion by leaning a little closer to the center of your improvised circle. He seemed to be a very wise and at the same time charismatic man. Attractive, but platonically.

“Sorry, may I interrupt before we start” It sounded more like a statement from Alex. “How old are you, once again?"

"I'm 27, Mr. Turner. And let's make it clear, since this still raises questions. Yes, I'm quite young relative to you and indeed a stranger to your team. But I've known James for a long time, as well as your work, whose main fan I have been since 18. I have been in show business for 7 years now and worked with Maneskin at the very beginning of their career. It’s not difficult for me to provide my CV if necessary, but I’m here because I sincerely want to help my father's friend and ensure that you have the most comfortable atmosphere during your stay in Europe. I have an idea what it's like to be on tour for a year, I understand how tired you are, and that you need conditions for rest and creation. So I'll let you do your job without the interference and you’ll give me freedom to do my work properly, I'm sure we both do it very well, especially since you are not the only one, Mr. Turner, who can make a show out of nothing”. At these words the drummer whistled, turning to the gloomy vocalist, but you continued “I’m really extremely happy to be a part of Arctic Monkeys team, for me this is a great opportunity to test myself and work with such big people like you. So I don't see any problems in our interaction, taking into account that I'm here temporarily.

You glanced at the men with a soft, but tenacious look, catching your breath “Didn't seem to miss anything at this point, deal?”

Steven was the first to answer, smiling paternally at you and accepting your little speech. You also noticed that Turner shook his head, but smirked to himself, which relaxed your muscles a bit. If you didn't get along from the first sentence, then at least you can establish a normal business relationship. You understood that the nature of a rock star is unpredictable, following the development of the group and the change in the image of the frontman for many years, but you couldn't imagine that he would talk so irritably to new people. Yes, he certainly behaved ugly, but you also started the dialogue with a caustic comment. Apparently, you deserve each other.

After the temperature in the room dropped and everyone took a more relaxed posture, you began to discuss current tasks. Your first gig will be in Bristol on May 29th, so you have two weeks to get ready. In fact, everything has already been done even before the start of the whole tour. Now your duty is only to coordinate the setlists with the guys for each performance, to make sure that all agreements with venues are fulfilled, the rider is completed, the equipment is working properly, the buses are ordered, the hotels have confirmed the reservation, and the whole team has arrived safe and sound. Okay, maybe it's not so little, but you're ready for any challenge. This is your passion after all.

You will ride in a separate minivan with the management team, and not with the guys, which in general wasn’t a big surprise for you, but in hotels you will be provided with a separate room, unlike the rest of the staff, who live in double suits. You didn't know what caused such generosity, but you were pleased anyway. You talked for about an hour, agreeing to meet again at the sound check in a week, and then only before leaving for Bristol. During this time you will have to study all the venues, call the transport company and confirm the details of the trips.

Your meeting ended on a positive note, the guys were asking you about your life, your education and hobbies, you said that you had been dancing professionally for many years and even took up drumming at the university, to which Matt happily promised to give you lessons, triumphant that he finally met someone who doesn't play the guitar, but the drums.

“Be careful, Matthew, if it turns out that she is more talented than you, we’ll replace you without any hesitation. She looks better” Nick joked and immediately got the middle finger in response from the drummer. Even Alex genuinely smiled, looking back at the friend.

"Oh, don't worry, it's unlikely. But as for the cider I wasn't joking, at least I'm definitely good at that"

"Wait, did you make it yourself?" surprised Ben.

"Yes, I live in the suburbs of London and have my own small garden, I make cider for friends during the season"

"You know what, I'm already tired of this stuffy room, you say it's in your trunk?" Matt, confirming his status as the most talkative member of the group, stood up impatiently, stretching his stiff limbs.

"Yes, let's go and give it a try" you said, also getting up from your chair. “Who is with us?” you raised an eyebrow in question and the answer was six men who rose to their feet.

"Definitely need a smoke” murmured Alex in addition, patting his pockets for a pack of cigarettes.

“Damn, where did James find her?” you heard Jamie's question addressed to Steven as you left the room with Matt and couldn’t hold back a short, but self-satisfied smirk. "That's not the last ace in the hole, Jamie" flashed through your head.

"I'm asking the same question" but instead of Champan, the voice was given by Alex.

"Al, will you calm down today or not? Did yesterday's booze give you such a headache?" Cook hissed almost angrily.

But you didn’t hear the answer, moving away along the corridor to the exit.

***

When all the lads came out from the studio, you and Matt had already taken a wooden case with 12 bottles of cider out of the trunk of your white Range Rover and put it on the hood. Coming closer, Alex threw a jacket over his shoulders and took out cigarettes, offering you one.

"I don't smoke, thanks," you replied calmly. He arched an eyebrow in surprise and took a pipe of tobacco between his lips. “You better start, darling” He took a quick puff, blowing smoke in your face, and looked intently from under his eyelashes. Despite the sweet name, from his lips it sounded somehow humiliating. You didn't answer, turning around and taking one of the bottles, silently passing it to him. He thanked you, and you gave each man a bottle as well. "For the new leg of the tour! Cheers!" Steven exclaimed, raising the bottle in the air and you all clinked glasses together.

The eight of you stood in the parking lot next to your car. You and Marcus leaned on the hood, Chapman nestled next to your right, and the guys were in front of you. You stayed in pleasant silence, interrupted by the chirping of birds from a nearby square and breezes of the wind that swayed your styling. Satisfied sigh followed by Marcus and Jamie, which made you laugh cutely.

"Enjoy?" you asked playfully, taking a sip.

"Y/N, that's amazing! I’ve never thought our team would feel so acutely short of a personal alcohol supplier" Jamie savored the taste, taking small sips.

"It's only 6% alcohol, I brought this one on purpose, knowing that you will most likely be driving. But there is also 12% sort in my basement, so in case of anything, you know where to find me"

"Actually not, but for the sake of such a case, we will definitely get your address from James" Nick answered cheerfully.

You spent 20 more minutes talking about the process of making an apple brew and sharing your alcohol tastes. “What a topic to discuss” you hummed to yourself. Eventually you gave Ben, Marcus, Jamie, and Matt one more bottle, promising to bring more of 12% sort to the concert, and you were about to leave when suddenly your phone rang. A dark and mystical tune played from the back pocket of your shorts.

"Woah, that’s pretty old one" Alex said with unexpected liveliness.

"One of my favorites from yours" you replied quickly, pulling out the device. It was James. You decided to call him back when you would be alone, so you dropped the call, texting him that you would call back later.

"Hey Al, we haven't played it in a while. What do you think, mate?" Matt asked conspiratorially, giving him a little nudge on the shoulder.

"We’ll see, I think it's possible. NME will especially rejoice at this, still considering it insanely vulgar" the singer rolled his eyes, but couldn't help smiling.

"Isn't that right, Mr. Turner? Whose propeller is it then?" you grinned as you took an empty box and returned it to the trunk of the jeep.

"Miss Y/S, don't make me doubt your foresight as well" to your surprise, he came over to help you close the tailgate. You dusted your hands and shifted awkwardly from one foot to another, being locked between the car and the frontman. You could literally see wrinkles around his eyes and cider-wet lips that now were gently stirring.

"Who called?" the man asked more quietly than usual. "Uh, James, I think I should call him as soon as possible"

"Yeah, most likely" Turner reluctantly backed away from you, letting you through, and you walked to the driver's door.

"Well, guys, I was very glad to see you, I'm sure fruitful work awaits us!" you smiled reassuringly, swaying from heel to toe from jitters and excitement from upcoming events.

"See you in a bit, Miss Y/S, I will send you all our numbers and other necessary contacts tonight. Sleep enough these days, you will soon miss it" Steven winked and extended his hand to you for a handshake, so you answered him willingly.

“Goodbye, guys, see ya!” you only waved at other lads as you climbed onto the running board and sat inside the car. The Rover started with a pleasant growl, vibrating under your hands. You drove off, leaving the men in the parking lot, but noticing one fixed look of chocolate eyes in the rearview mirror. You attributed the recognition of the color of his eyes to a million views of concert photos on the Internet, but not to those few seconds near the trunk when you smelled his cigarette breath on your face.

That will be a roller-coaster indeed

---------------------------------------------------

A/N: Please, let me know what do you think about this duo, what are you expecting from them, what do you want to read in the next chapter? Let's get to know each other better in comments - how long are you in fandom, what are your favorite type of fics and etc? Your feedback is my force to write, love you and stay tuned - a big adventure is going to happen 🤭❣️

I also publish the work on AO3:

[thekiryufamily]

I have a treat for KazuKaoru shippers and those that want content with Daigo, Date content and those that are obsessed with everything related to Yakuza Kiwami 2. (No Mods Involved)

I had spent a lot of time on this I don't even know why lmao. BUT I have compiled a couple of unique gameplay sections and things when it came down to Yakuza 2 Kiwami (My favorite game in the series that competes with LAD: Infinite Wealth). It ranges from hangouts with certain characters to locations and unique things about some things after I beat the entirety of the games substories

Unique Hangouts

Makoto Date in Chapter 7 and Chapter 15. Most substories unlock (Chapter 7) and you can take him to Sotenbori. He is the only companion who is only available at night.

Kaoru Sayama in Chapter 8 (Night), Chapter 11 (Daytime), Chapter 13 (Background Suspense Music Playing/Night). You can hangout with Kaoru with the majority of the Substories and can play both Clan Creator and Cabaret Club.

Daigo Dojima in Chapter 14 (Night) and Chapter 15 (Day). Majority of the Substories are playable however in Chapter 15 you cannot play Clan Creator).

Haruka Sawamura in Chapter 1 (Graveyard), Chapter 13 (She stays in Kansai depending on some choice that you make to either advance the plot or hangout with her and if you say no to the plot advance and no to hanging out with her she stays in Aoi) Chapter 16 (before the the final long fight) and Premium Adventure Mode.

Unique Locations and Animations/Interactions

Tojo Clan Headquarters:

Chapter 5: (Night) being patrolled by Tojo Clan Members in various clothes from thuggish appearances to those in suits in ties.

Chapter 9: (Day) being patrolled by Tojo Clan Members in only Black Suits.

Chapter 9: (Night and snowing) In the beginning you see various Tojo Clan members injured or dead and after the Shindo fight it's only Yayoi outside and courtyard is open.

Graveyard (Day only) in Chapter 1

Omi Alliance Headquarters in Chapter 3 (Can't save in Omi HQ, recommend to save at bridge with Daigo)

Stardust with Yuya in Chapter 15

Chapter Character Animations/Locations

Chapter 4: Kaoru sitting down on couch and Tamiyo at the bar.

Chapter 5: Kaoru Sleeping in Serena

Chapter 7: Makoto Date sitting in Batnam

Chapter 9: Kashiwagi standing, Daigo and Kaoru sitting in Serena

Chapter 10: Tamiyo alone in the bar

Chapter 13: Haruka staying in Aoi after Kiryu doesn't agree to advance the story and says no to a hangout when back in Aoi. Then we have Haruka in Serena while Kaoru is active as Companion (Yakuza 2 Background Suspense Jazz Music Playing)

Tamiyo and Haruka in Kamurocho Hills Construction site being in the same area with Majima Family members.

[4ngeldusstt]

S T A Y

A/N: had this on my drafts and decided to finish it somehow, enjoy!! <3

Word count: 982

Warnings: angst, kidnapping(?, suggestive.

Being a student in the UA was good, you were in your third and last year, one of the top three best heroes in your promotion, you had your provisional hero license and been working with Hawks in his agency for a year now.

Something was going down, the League of Villains was active again and Hawks made sure to keep you updated with all the information there was even though you were still a student, you worked your way into the Pro Hero world and gained their trust enough for them to count on you in important missions like this.

“Hey Y/H/N, we gotta get going.” Hawks told you as you both got into Best Jeanist’s sports car. “Endeavor is fighting with some of the members of the LOV in some abandoned headquarters, we have to offer support.” They updated you so you would be prepared, you were going to fight against members of the league, but nothing would prepare you for who you were actually going to fight against.

As we got closer to the location you saw the so familiar blue flames escaping out of the building’s broken windows making you curse under your breath, you knew this was going to happen sooner or later, you knew that you at some point would have to fight against your now ex boyfriend that you were still so much in love with, and he knew too.

When we arrived there it was Shigaraki, Twice, Spinner, Mr.Compress and Dabi. As the fight went on any of them had the guts to harm you, they were your friends at one point and still cared for you even if you were not a part of them anymore. You were never a member of the LOV officially, you where just a hero in love with a villain and you spent time with them and they grew to like you.

During that time you realized that they were not bad people, society made you believe that villains equal to bad but they were in fact actually really caring they just had different goals to yours, you learned their stories and background what lead them to be where they are and do what they’re doing, you as an empath had a lot of respect for them and understood their situations, despite the fact that you were a pro hero they didn’t hesitate to listen to you and take you in and welcomed you with kindness. They still had hatred for heroes, you didn’t want to change their vision after all, but you were the exception to them.

You used your quirk against Shigaraki trying not to rise suspicions amongst your comrades. Missing on purpose so you didn’t injure him, remembering all those hours you spent with him playing video games and when he listened to you without complaining as you vented and cried every time you argued with Dabi.

Kurogiri opened a portal out of nowhere meaning they where going to retreat already as more heros made their appearance in the situation. “Y/H/N! Be careful!” You heard Hawks yell in your direction as you felt a hand wrapping around your throat pushing you to the portal without hurting you, only for a deep voice to pull you off of the trance you didnt realize you where in “you’re coming with me baby, I ain’t letting you go that easy this time.” Somehow you felt safe. “I still love you.” Your voice coming out as a bare whisper “and I never stoped loving you princess.” The concerned faces of the pro heros as the LOV took you with them was the last thing you saw before all turned into darkness.

You woke up in a so familiar room that belonged to the boy that was now sitting on the end of the bed, his back facing you. “Why did you do that?” Your voice came out softer than you wanted it to be “The time we where apart fucked me up y/n, I know we agreed to break up but I can’t handle to be away from you, I need you with me.” You were quiet, so he kept talking “So, Shigaraki and I came up with a plan.”

You didn’t know what to feel, you were feeling nothing and everything all at once “Basically kidnapping me.” You said rolling your eyes at his words “Yeah, the plan worked though, you are here with me and these shitty heros won’t suspect from you bettaying them, they just think we kiddnapped you.” He finished the sentence with a proud smile, “But they will be looking for me, they will find me and try to take me back Toya, and you know that.” a hint of sadness could be perceived in your tone, you were the only one that he allowed to call him by his actual name, hearing it come out of your lips again made chills run down his spine, he took seat closer to you, still not locking eyes with you “I know baby, but when the time comes it will be up to you if you want to leave with them or.. stay with me.” His hand was now resting on your thigh, looking down at his own feet not being able to even look at you.

By the time you realized you where sitting on his lap, your arms resting around his shoulders as your lips connected with his, his arms instinctively wrapping around your waist holding you as close to him as he could. "No one will take me away from you.” You whispered feeling him grin against your lips “that’s my girl.” He said in the deep voice that you so much loved making you shift in your favorite seat, feeling his hand forcefully grab your ass as a response. “You’re gonna be the death of me.” He whispered as he devoured you neck.

[roseofdarknessblog]

Good and Evil (Porco Galliard x Tybur!Reader)

Word count: 7 834

Disclaimer: english is not my first language, I apologize in advance for any mistakes  

Summary: In a rather unfortunate twist of events, you end up inheriting the War Hammer Titan instead of your older sister Lara. 

Good and Evil

The rich silver moonlight was spilling into the otherwise dark bedroom, making everything seem a little bit nicer. Every poorly lit corner of this damned room seemed so familiar and foreign at the same time. You’ve never spent that much time here – in this bedroom or this house alone. Well, at least not for the last couple of years.

Liberio, the town you were born and raised in, became an almost complete stranger to you. You loved coming back, even though leaving again was more than painful. But you had no other choice. You were the youngest of the Tybur children, Willy and Lara’s younger sister, who was born years after your parents stopped hoping for another child.

Maybe that’s why they needed to always keep an eye on you. Always keep you in a perfect golden cage, so nothing would happen to you. They still saw you as their precious innocent daughter, who only does what her parents demand from her.

„You okay?“ Shivers ran down your bare back when a very familiar male voice spoke from behind you. When you looked over your shoulder, while you were sitting up in bed, your eyes landed on the silhouette of your lover. „You seemed a little lost in your thought the whole evening.“

„I don’t want you to go,“ you said in a quiet voice.

„Back to the front?“ You nodded and pulled the duvet closer to your chest, your eyes meeting with Porco’s. „You know I have to go. The war is far from over, unfortunately. We still have lots of battles to fight.“

„I know, but...“

„Y/N,“ Porco said and sat up, moving a little closer to you. One of his strong arms hugged you from behind, his lips pressing to the warm skin of your shoulder. You knew he’ll have to go soon. Despite that, you dreamed about waking up in his arms on a nice slow, and sunny morning. „I get where you’re coming from. But you need to understand me and my situation as well. Even if I didn’t have to go back, what would you want me to do? We both know there’s no way your family could know about us.“

You swallowed hard and brought your knees to your chest. Anxiety and sadness were starting to creep up on you once again. „I’m tired of hiding and sneaking around. We both deserve to be happy.“

„I am happy,“ Porco whispered against your skin, hugging you tighter and pulling your back against his chest. His head rested against yours, while he found one of your hands and interlocked your fingers. „And that has to be enough for now.“

„But it’s not. Not for me. Not anymore.“ Those words hurt you, but you needed to say them out loud. You needed Porco to know, how you truly felt. Being honest with one another was always very important to you. „I don’t want to live like this anymore.“

Porco sighed quietly, pressing his lips behind your left ear. „What exactly do you want me to do? What would make you happy?“

„Living a normal life. With you.“

You and Porco met way back, almost ten years ago, when you still lived in Liberio and the both of you were just kids. Being friends with him was always a little bit strange. But you liked spending time with the younger one of the Galliard brothers. Since Willy and Lara were a lot older than you, they never really wanted to spend time with you. So you pretty often wandered around the town and looked for somebody, who would play with you. Of course, only after slipping past your family’s guards, who always lurked around the residence.

One day, you came across the military headquarters of the Marleyan military. There you met a group of kids, who were heading home, amongst them Porco and his older brother Marcel. You walked them all the way to the gates of the Internment zone, asking a lot of questions about their military training.

From that day forward, you kept coming back and walking them back to the gates. You got to know the other Warriors the same way and were so grateful for your new friends. Even though they lived very different lives than you. Despite that, you formed a unique bond with all of them – even Annie, who took the longest to warm up to you.

„That’s not possible right now, we’re at war and nobody knows how long it’s going to stay this way,“ Porco said, his lips gently brushing against your ear.

„Porco, we’ve been at war for almost three years now, I’m very well aware of what’s happening.“

After Porco wasn’t chosen to inherit a Titan and go to Paradis, the two of you got even closer. Day by day, your relationship was getting stronger... and when you both turned seventeen, it started becoming intimate like never before. You were drawn to him, just like he was to you. Even despite everything, especially your family moving again from Liberio.

Staying away from Porco for days, weeks and sometimes even months was the hardest and most painful thing. You missed him dearly every waking hour of the day and hoped to at least see him in your dreams. So when there was a chance to come back to Liberio, you took it and always snook out to meet with Porco, who you loved more and more every day.

„There is nothing I can do right now, you have to understand that. I’m a Warrior, serving Marley has to be my priority.“

You nodded, feeling tears start to dwell in your eyes. „I’m tired of always being second. Tired of losing to this shitty situation.“

„What?“

„Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. I’m never your priority, Porco. Maybe once I was, but not anymore.“

You felt that something between you changed during these last few months. While you still loved him just like before, you felt something... something strange but unimaginably painful. He was changing and there was nothing you could do, to prevent that. Even when you tried to understand his situation and new obligations, which came after he finally got one of the Nine Titans.

You felt that you were slowly but surely losing him.

Nothing about your relationship seemed the same. Except... except the overwhelming love you still felt toward Porco Galliard, the new Jaw Titan. That love was still there, inside your heart and your whole being, threatening to suffocate you many times, while you cried about your situation.

„I love you,“ he whispered. But it didn’t sound like it used to before. Now it was merely an automatic response and a way to shut you up when you started talking about something similar.

You shook your head. „You don’t love me like you used to.“ All your words were quiet and full of sorrow, which was trying to claw its way from the center of your chest. „I’m not stupid, I can feel it, Porco.“

When he stayed quiet, the very first tear of that night rolled down your cheek. The silence broke your heart all over again. Foolishly, but you hoped he would say something. You hoped he would object.

Porco took a deep breath before he spoke. When he pulled away from you and let go of your hand, a sudden strong wave of paralyzing pain shot through your whole body. „You know that this thing between us has no real future,“ he finally said, his voice sounding somehow distant but sad at the same time. „You’re a Tybur, basically a nobel everyone admires and praises. And I’m just an Eldian. A weapon for Marley, nothing more.“

„Not for me.“ He laughed quietly and quickly got out of bed. You didn’t dare to look in his direction, while he was searching for his pants on the floor. „When did it happen? When did you stop loving me like you used to?“

Another long moment of silence made you want to scream in frustration. You were so naive when you thought that your relationship with Porco would grant you a happy future. Your love was never destined to last, that was the harsh reality you refused to see for so many months now.

Like a stupid child, you held onto broken promises and empty words. Long lost dreams and imaginary fairytales you kept telling yourself to numb the pain and emptiness inside your soul.

„I don’t... I don’t know,“ Porco said finally, his voice only a whisper.

„And did you want to tell me? Or was I supposed to figure it out on my own?“ Your cold tone made you sick, but suddenly that was all you were capable of. That or having a complete breakdown right there in front of him. „Did I do something that made you feel this way?“

You desperately wanted and needed to know. Only for Porco to stay completely quiet and let you guess all of the answers on your own. He was never cold or heartless, not to you, no. Never to you. Maybe that was the reason your heart felt like it was ripping into millions of tiny pieces. Just a few hours back, when his hands and lips were all over your body, you couldn’t even think about a similar conversation. Better said... you didn’t want to. All you wanted and needed, was to feel him close to you after so many months.

„Many things changed these past few years, us including,“ Porco finally said. When you looked at him, he was almost fully clothed again. Only his jacket with the red armband was missing. „I still love you, I really do. But I think we need to go our separate ways from this day forward. I’m returning to the front to fight for Marley and you should...“ he swallowed hard, visibly battling with his words. „You should find someone, who your family is going to approve.“ His defeated expression with a tiny sad smile made many more tears run down your cheeks. „I think that will be best for the both of us.“

You wanted to scream, cry and beat some sense into him. Everything he was saying was nonsense. Wasn’t it? Who cared about your family and their approval? You wanted Porco, nobody else. It’s been that way for many years and it wasn’t any different now.

„We can talk when I come back from the front. Maybe after the war is over.“

You didn’t say a word. All your strength and attention were focused on wiping away the tears streaming down your cheeks. Porco heard you sob quietly but did nothing to comfort you.

„I’ll always love you, but this is going to be the best for the both of us.“

„Sure,“ you muttered under your breath. „If you think so. Keep telling yourself all these lies. I’m simply not buying it.“

Porco sighed. „Don’t make this unnecessarily hard. We’re both in pain, Y/N. Don’t make it even worse.“

„You know what?“ you asked quietly, hugging your knees tightly. „I always thought, that you wanted the same thing as me. I thought you wanted to have a future with me, to build a family one day.“ You felt so stupid for all of the times you dreamed about your future with Porco. It was all just a dream and you were the only one dreaming it. „I believed, that you would fight for me and for our love. I... I...“ your voice broke for a moment, all the emotions making it hard to breathe. „I always thought, that you would do anything, to keep me in your life. Even come to my parents and ask for their permission to marry me.“

It was obvious, that there was something Porco wasn’t telling you. That’s why you gave him time to gather enough courage to speak up. Porco wasn’t a coward, at least that’s what you thought. However, when he didn’t utter another word and simply headed for the door, you felt as if he was a complete stranger. Not somebody, who tried to convince you about his love only a short while ago.

You heard him mumble something right before he opened the door and slipped out. Coldness was radiating from his every move. You saw him battle with himself to look back at you at least one last time, but his pride, or whatever it was, won. He closed the door after he left the room and left you with a pain so unimaginable, you were sure you won’t see another day.

In just a couple of minutes, your life completely fell apart and lost all meaning. The only thing... only person, who made you excited to wake up every morning, was gone.

„Hey,“ said your older brother in a calm voice, while he rested his hands on your shoulders. You were so mesmerized by the raindrops slipping down the cold window glass, that you didn’t even notice him coming into your room. „I didn’t want to say anything at first, but now I really worry about you, Y/N.“

„Why?“

„Nothing makes you happy anymore. You barely smile or even talk to us. Mother and Father worry about you as well, even Lara seems concerned.“ You shrugged, resting your forehead against the window. „We both know, that this is going on for many months now.“

„What do you want me to say, Willy?“ you asked him, looking over your shoulder and right into his face.

„I want you to talk to me about the things that bother you. Just like when you were little. You always came to me or Lara, when you needed something. And we always tried to help you the best we could.“

Yes, he was right. They did their best when you needed something. Since they were both many years older, they had priceless experiences. And most importantly, they loved you and wanted you to have the best life possible.

Or at least that’s what you always thought.

And then it all changed, almost a year ago. Just a few weeks after Porco Galliard broke your heart. The time for naming the new inheritor of the War Hammer Titan came out of the blue – at least for you. The others already knew, how it was all going to happen. They decided without you. So when your paternal uncle’s life was coming to an end, your family broke the big news. It was you, who they found the most fit for this „noble“ role.

„And I will never forget that. I love both of you, this is nothing personal.“

„Am I supposed to believe it?“

„Believe what you want, I don’t care.“

Since Porco and you broke up, nothing was the same.

Most of your days were spent shut away in your room – crying, regretting many things, and battling many dark and sinister thoughts. And it all got worse when you became the new War Hammer Titan. Your family wanted you to train and learn to use its powers properly. But learning to control a Titan, let alone one with so much power was harder than you ever imagined. But maybe just because you weren’t really trying. You had no energy and motivation for that.

After all, the War Hammer Titan wasn’t meant to fight anyone. Not during these times you were living. It simply became a family heirloom, that needed to be kept safe and passed down every thirteen years.

„Why am I even here, Willy? I don’t have anything to do with this.“

„You do, dear sister. Just because you are the strongest person in our family now. And you swore to lend me this power whenever I’ll need it,“ Willy reminded you, running his hand up and down your back. His voice seemed calm. Maybe too calm given the situation. „Now that time came.“

You stayed quiet, searching the rainy Liberio street for any sign of life. Sadly, it seemed as if you and Willy, the oldest and the youngest of the Tybur siblings, were the only ones here.

„I don’t need you to do or say anything, Y/N. I’ll do the talking, you are just going to stand there behind me and keep quiet.“

„So I’m going to act like a scarecrow?“

Willy nodded. „Basically, yes.“ He leaned closer to you and pressed a little kiss on top of your head. Just like when you were little. „I don’t expect any problems, it’s going to be a meeting like many before. But it’s always good to have a few tricks up my sleeve, don’t you think?“ You didn’t even move a muscle. „It’s good to give certain people a reminder, that we as a family possess such power.“

„I never wanted this,“ you whispered, closing your eyes and swallowing all the pain and sorrow that were trying to suffocate you. „And you knew it more than well.“

„Don’t forget what you did, Y/N. After that, there was no other way.“

„What did I do? Fall in love? Was that really so bad, that you had to punish me this way? I gave up my life for this family, I only have twelve years left, nothing more.“

Yes, your parents and siblings found out about your previous relationship with Porco. Well... they didn’t know, who exactly you were in a relationship with. You successfully kept that a secret. But how did they find out, that you recently had a lover? Shortly after you and Porco broke up, you found out, that you were pregnant. And hiding something like that wasn’t possible. Not in the Tybur household.

Since you didn’t want to tell who the father was, your family automatically assumed, that it was a filthy Eldian. And when you didn’t object, you basically signed your own death. If you didn’t want to end up disowned and stripped of your name, which guaranteed you many important rights, you had to obey and do everything your parents asked you to do.

You gave up your unborn child and with unimaginable emptiness in your heart and soul ultimately gave up your own life as well. Why? Because you were scared, lost, and hurt. You had nothing and nobody. Not really. Not in the way you needed.

Going through these events changed you beyond recognition. When you looked into the mirror, you barely recognized yourself. However, the saddest part was, that your family saw it too, while they probably had no regrets about their choices. They didn’t act like they would regret putting you through so much suffering.

„How can you act like nothing happened, Willy?“

„I don’t act like nothing happened. I’m just doing my best to navigate the reality we live in now.“

„The reality all of you chose for me.“

With these words, you slipped past your brother and made your way to the dresser. Willy watched you pick out clothes for the evening and then left you alone to change into them and get ready. In the end, it didn’t even matter what you were going to wear. The only important piece of clothing was the full-length black cloak with a massive hood, which hid your face more than perfectly. Despite that, you had to wear a white porcelain mask, that symbolized the War Hammer Titan.

Nobody could know, who in your family had this power. It was like that for many, many years and you had no other choice than to follow these rules.

So once again, you did what you had to. You got into a carriage with your brother and headed for his meeting together. While he talked to the merchants and some politicians you didn’t know, you were standing by the door and keeping your mouth shut. You didn’t even pay attention to what they were talking about.

Your only responsibility was to be there in case those people needed a reminder, of who the Tyburs really are.

The meeting was long and tiring. While it lasted, you silently battled the emptiness inside of you, which gradually turned into tears. You could feel them sliding down your cheeks underneath the mask you hated so much. All you wished for, right there at that moment, was to simply drop dead and never open your eyes again.

You weren’t a person anymore. Just a weapon for a family that probably hated you more than anyone for one simple mistake.

For falling in love with someone, who you still couldn’t get over.

After four years, Marley finally won the war and everything was supposed to return to normal. You dreamed about that day many, many times. But you never imagined yourself being trapped in the life you were living now. You never imagined being nothing more than a weapon. A walking corpse with a still beating heart.

Your relationship with Porco Galliard was still on your mind. There wasn’t a day when he wasn’t on your mind. Your heart remained in pieces and your soul was colder than ever since the day of your break up.

„I’m glad you were able to make it today,“ you said kindly, forcing a smile on your lips.

„It’s good to see you again,“ Porco said, resting his back against the chair. It was him, who contacted you right after he came back from the front and said, the two of you should meet. So you both agreed on today. „Although...“

You gave Porco a sad smile. „Just say it, I won’t get mad. I know I look more than horrible.“ He chuckled, crossing his arms over his chest. „But you look good. As good as always.“

His offer to meet up shocked you. But you didn’t even consider not accepting it. After all, you longed to see him again. To see his face and hear his voice. Telling him about what happened since you broke up wasn’t your plan. You never wanted him to feel the pain you had to go through. And you certainly never wanted him to know, that the two of you could have been parents.

„Why did you agree to meet up with me?“ Porco asked a little hesitantly, his light hazel eyes studying your face. Today, you actually put effort into getting ready and made sure to look as presentable as possible. „I didn’t expect a positive answer. Better said, I didn’t expect any answer from you at all.“

„I wanted to see you, that’s it.“

„You’re not mad about what I did to you?“ When you shook your head, he seemed to be taken aback. That probably wasn’t the reaction he was counting on. „I see the way you look at me right now. Don’t tell me you’re not mad about how I acted a year ago when we saw each other for the last time.“

„No, I’m not mad, Porco,“ you answered without hesitation, nervously playing with your fingers. „I’m really not mad at all.“

„But what I did...“

„What you did... you hurt me and broke my heart. That’s what you did. I’m still hurt, sad, and confused about why it had to happen. But I’m not mad,“ you tried to explain your feelings to him, without saying more than what was necessary.

You were more than glad, that he was sitting there right opposite of you. The only thing that separated the two of you, was a small table of the local coffee and tea shop. Back in the day, Porco used to take you here for dates. Many beautiful memories were tied to this place. And it felt only natural, probably for the both of you, to meet here once again. Under many different circumstances, however.

„Do you expect an apology from me?“

„More like an explanation,“ you said, watching him run his right hand over his hair. It was smoothed back perfectly, just like every other time. For somebody, who just recently came back from war, he looked more than good. He was still the same handsome young Warrior you fell in love with many years ago. The same person you still loved deeply. „I want to understand what happened between us.“

Porco took a deep breath but ultimately failed to start talking. He kept looking at you, gazing into your eyes and probably searching for the girl you once were. The one he once loved. The realization, that she no longer existed kept hurting you over and over again.

„What happened to you?“ he asked almost too quietly, reaching out his hand towards you. But before he was able to grab your chin or touch your cheek, you pulled away. „I barely recognize you, Y/N.“ His words were full of pain and his eyes overflowing with concern. „Don’t take this the wrong way, but you used to be so astonishingly beautiful and full of life. Full of love and light. And now...“

„I know,“ you said before he could finish.

„What happened? Who did this to you?“

You shook your head and gave him a weak smile. „Let it be, please. That’s not important right now.“

„Your family?“

„Porco!“ you hissed, looking away. It already took almost all of your energy to pretend, that you were doing more than just surviving or waiting for death. With him asking questions he already knew the answers to... „Let’s just settle everything between us finally and then... go our separate ways once again, I guess.“

All you wanted, was him and only him. You still wanted the life you dreamed about in the past – a life with Porco Galliard as your partner. Despite him, and now you too, being a Titan Shifter. You would do the unimaginable, to have that life. To have him back, even if only for a couple of years.

„Okay, so... what do you want to hear? That I’m a coward, who simply got scared? Who didn’t want to burden you with my fate? How was I supposed to marry you, when we both know I’m going to die in a couple of years?“

„I never cared about that and you knew it,“ you objected immediately, your heart filling with even more pain, as you listened to his every word. He didn’t even dare to look you in the eyes all of a sudden, which only made the situation worse.

„But I did, Y/N,“ he said, clenching his hands into fists. „I did.“

„It wasn’t fair, you know? What you did to me... to us.“

He nodded. „I know that now. And I can assure you, that I’m suffering because of how stupid I was back then.“

„Would you take it back if you had the chance?“ you asked, but maybe it would be better not knowing the answer. For almost a whole year you hoped he regretted what he did and said. But you also feared he had zero regrets and actually was much happier than when you were a couple.

„Every single word. Even the ones I never said out loud.“

„That’s...“ You didn’t even know what you wanted to say. During the last year, when you thought about meeting Porco again, you thought you were ready. But now everything was different. Much more complicated. „Why is it so hard to find the right words all of a sudden?“ you asked with a quiet laugh.

„I’m asking myself the same question.“

„There is so much I wanted to tell you. So much I wanted you to know. About me and about us. But... right now... nothing seemed important anymore. All I know is that I... that I still... I still love you. Just like before all of that happened. I love you the same way I loved you a year ago and I know, that it’s never going to change.“

„I never stopped loving you. Quite the opposite. From that day forward I...“ Porco shook his head with a nervous smile and grabbed one of your hands, which was resting on the table. At first, you wanted to pull your hand away, but feeling the warmth radiating from his skin made you feel at ease. „I thought about you every single day. Even on the battlefield when I was fighting.“

„Wasn’t it distracting?“ you joked a little and that surprised the both of you.

„Motivating,“ Porco corrected you and squeezed your hand. „When I was thinking about you, I knew I needed to push forward under every circumstance.“ Holding hands was something that always helped you keep calm. „I knew I had to come back and try to make things right with you.“

„So you want to... you think we should try it again?“

He seemed hesitant, his eyes full of worry but also full of love. „I don’t know, Y/N. If you look at it, nothing changed during that year. You are still you and me... I am still me. We both live in a completely different world and we both know what my future holds.“

„That doesn’t change anything, Porco.“

„It changes so many things. Our whole future.“

„I love you,“ you said, looking straight into his face. „And I want to give our future a shot. Even if all we have are a couple of years.“ The urge to tell him the real truth about everything, every single little thing that happened over the last year, was growing stronger and stronger. He deserved to know, at least some of the things.

But was it the right time?

Did you really want to risk ruining this moment?

„You have to forget me and think about your future with someone, who is not going to leave you in a couple of years. With someone, who your family is going to accept by your side.“

„I don’t care about their opinion, Porco. Not anymore.“

The little coffee and tea shop was buzzing with life. People were coming and going, but nobody paid any attention to you or Porco. For them, you were just another young couple. Nobody knew anything about your lives. Nobody knew your story and all the pain behind it.

And that made you wonder how many of those people suffered because of something similar. How many of them had their heart broken by a partner or their family? How many of them changed because of the pain they weren’t able to chase away? Because of the pain, which was so intense it seemed unbearable and unending.

You were opening your mouth to speak up... to tell him the truth about the baby you were supposed to have, and about you being the new War Hammer Titan. But you bit your tongue in the last possible second and instead gave Porco the warmest smile you were capable of.

It felt better that way.

You didn’t even want to imagine him hurting and suffering the way you did.

„Look, I can’t force you to do anything. If you think, that it’s better if we stay apart... I’m gonna accept it. I just don’t want to argue anymore. I don’t want us to hate each other,“ you spoke at last, trying to take a couple of deep breaths to keep yourself calm and present at the moment.

„We can still be friends,“ Porco got out in a quiet voice, his index finger drawing tiny little circles onto your skin. „I don’t want you to disappear from my life completely.“

Deep down in your heart you knew, that it was the only way. Leaving Porco behind was the only correct thing to do, if you wanted to spare him from all that pain. But never seeing him again... that idea felt as if somebody was ripping your heart from your chest once again.

„I know you’ll have a wonderful life, Y/N,“ Porco spoke again, his thumb grazing over your left ring finger.

„What does it even mean, Porco? How does a wonderful life look like these days?“

He bowed his head, clearly not having the right answer. „I’m afraid you’ll have to ask someone else,“ he chuckled.

Sitting there and holding his hand felt so right. Once again, you felt like a younger and much, much happier version of yourself. Even if it only lasted for a couple of short minutes. Being with Porco reminded you how it felt to be truly alive.

And you missed that feeling dearly and instantly when you and Porco said your goodbyes for that day. On the other hand, you were glad he didn’t have more time and had to go. With all of the emotions floating around you were mere seconds from spilling all your secrets, just so he could help you carry your suffering.

The night was mercilessly cold and almost unending, filled with thick dark clouds, loud thunder, and millions of raindrops. Sleep was avoiding you at all costs, because the only thing you were able to think about, was your meeting with Porco in the morning. When you closed your eyes, you could still feel his hand holding yours. You felt his warmth and his reassuring presence.

But when you opened your eyes once again, the only thing welcoming you back into reality was your old bedroom in the Tybur’s residence in Liberio. The whole family was here – your parents and siblings, even Willy’s wife and kids. You loved your nieces and nephews to bits, every single one of them. But they were always a handful. So full of energy all the time, that nobody could keep up with them.

A festival was set to take place in a couple of days. That was all you knew for now. Better said, that was all Willy wanted you to know. Your place was once again right behind his back, hidden under a mask and ready to threaten anybody, who even tried to disrespect your family.

You were so lost in your own thought, that the quiet knocking on one of your windows went completely unnoticed. But just until that someone knocked a bit louder, finally catching your attention. With furrower brows and a confused look, you threw one of the blankets over your shoulders and went over to the window. Right there, outside in the cold and pouring rain, was Porco Galliard. His hair was all wet and sticking to his forehead, his clothes drenched from rainwater.

„What the hell are you doing here?“ you asked and quickly opened the window. He was standing on the ledge under your window, holding onto one of the thinner decorative pillars which ran around the whole house.

„I forgot something pretty damn important in the morning.“

„What...“ Before you could finish what you were saying, Porco leaned in through the now-open window and pressed his lips against yours.

Your arms immediately wrapped around his waist, to keep him from falling off, while he leaned even closer to deepen your kiss. Was it really a whole year since you kissed his lips for the last time? Because when you closed your eyes at that very moment, it seemed as if no time had passed.

„I love you,“ he whispered a little out of breath, while you rested your foreheads together. Porco kept one of his hands on the back of your neck as if he feared you would run away. But that didn’t even occur to you. „I never stopped and I never will.“ He said something similar during your earlier meeting as well. But right now his words were full of completely different emotions.  

Without saying anything, you just kissed him again, one of your hands cupping his cheek. Feeling his lips against yours could never get old. It has always been one of the best feelings in the entire world. Right from the moment the two of you kissed for the first time.

„Come inside, you need to get those wet clothes off,“ you say, quickly giving him one more kiss before you help him climb inside. This wasn’t the first or the second time Porco has done that. By now he knew how to avoid the guards and sneak past them, to climb up into your room.

As soon as his feet touched the floor in your bedroom, his hands were on your hips, his lips once again in contact with yours. Without even thinking about closing the window to keep the cold out, you pulled his jacket off and tossed it onto the floor. The red armband on his sleeve was forgotten and never once thought about it during the rest of the night. For you, it meant nothing at all. The only important thing was Porco himself.

It was all so easy.

Almost too easy.

Easy to get all of his clothes off, just like many times before. Your fingers knew all too well what to do, while your lips stayed in touch with his, or while they were leaving sweet small kisses along his neck or jaw. It was as if the both of you stopped thinking completely and let your bodies be led by love and desire.

Porco’s warm hands worked magic with your body, he seemed so confident in every single thing he was doing. He knew you. Knew your body and what it liked and asked for. Soon all of your troubles were forgotten, even if only for a short time. Just until the two of you stayed tangled in between the bedsheets, enjoying moments filled with tenderness and affection. And love... so much love it actually made your head spin.

„What will happen next?“ Porco asked, his fingers playing without your hair, while your head was resting on his bare chest. Both of you were still a little flushed and out of breath, but also completely content and maybe even happy.

„I don’t know,“ you said, drawing little circles on his skin with your index finger.

„Do we just get back together? Despite knowing that...“ You lifted your head and kissed him before he had the chance to finish his words. You didn’t want to hear it. Or talk at all.

„What about we just enjoy tonight? And not think about anything else.“

You wanted to be with him. So, so, so bad. But looking back at the mess your life was, wishing for a future with Porco was silly. The Tyburs would never accept him into the family and with you owning the War Hammer, there was no chance that they would let you leave. Even if you and Porco ran away, they would find you. Probably anywhere in the world.

All you truly had, was that one night. Nothing more and nothing less. Only those couple of hours until the storm passed and the sun started to rise. And you spent those hours very wisely. Without talking and worrying, only by enjoying the presence of one another.

Felling his warm body pressed up against yours felt like the most beautiful dream come true. He spent hours playing with your hair or kissing your body in different places. All while you let your fingers trace the muscles all over his body, just to remember them better. You even risked looking him straight in the eyes for longer than a few seconds. And only because you wanted to remember their light hazel color forever. For as long as you’ll be alive.

Watching Porco get up and put on his clothes early in the morning was truly one of the most heartbreaking things you’ve ever had to face. Because while he probably thought, that you can have more nights like this one, you knew better. You knew, that this never could happen again.

But when you were saying your goodbyes, you made sure Porco didn’t suspect anything. Not even when you kissed him for the last time, while your already shattered heart was breaking all over again. Before he left, you lied to him, that you’ll have some important business to attend to with your siblings, so the two of you should meet sometime after the festival. Only because you hoped, that by that time you’ll be far away from Liberio once more.

Away from him and from everything you so desperately wanted to experience only with him by your side.

When you and Porco kissed for the last time that morning, it never even occurred to you, that you truly won’t get another chance to taste his lips ever again. You never thought that you’ll watch as a Titan eats your own brother right before your eyes. Although Willy was preparing you for some kind of unexpected attack during the festival, you never imagined something similar.

„Promise me something,“ Willy said just a couple of minutes before he stepped onto the stage and began the long-awaited performance. You could see fear like never before in his eyes. „Whatever happens, you keep on fighting and keep on living.“

„As if I had such a long life ahead of me.“

„Y/N,“ he sighed, took a step closer, and pulled you into a tight hug. His actions surprised you, but you soon wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him back. „We both know what may happen in a couple of minutes. And I don’t want us to part on bad terms.“

You shook your head, quietly burying your face into your brother’s chest. It was better not knowing the reason why you came to Liberio this time. Because after he told you...

„I hope you’ll one day understand, why we chose you to be the next carrier of the War Hammer Titan. It wasn’t out of anger or hatred, please, never think that.“

„Our parents gave me no choice, Willy. And you know it, you and Lara were there as well. And you sided with them, not with me. None of you cared about what I had to say about all of that.“

There was something you never told him. And you were contemplating, if this was the right time. If this evening really turned out to be your brother’s last, it would be better to stay quiet. Better not to tell him about the pain you felt every single time you looked at his children – your beloved nieces and nephews. You would give your life for them, but every time you saw Willy or his wife with the kids, you remembered what you were forced to give up. You remembered the baby you were supposed to have with Porco.And in those moments you hated your parent and siblings to the point, that you could...

When it all happened, there was no time to even mourn your brother’s death.

You felt sick to your stomach, as you looked around and saw all those people – crushed and bleeding, on the verge of dying or already dead. Even you were injured pretty badly when Eren Jaeger attacked Liberio in his Titan form. But since you had titan powers yourself, it wasn’t such a big deal.

Not when you had to transform almost immediately and use the Har Hammer’s powers like never before. Eren was a skilled opponent, you had to admit that. Even more, when his devilish comrades from that damned island came to help him. But you did your best until the very end. You used all the power your Titan had and fought for your family and your homeland. Even the Marleyan military tried to help you before they had to face the attack from the Devils of Paradis. Commander Magath and his men were there, to make sure you devour Eren and become the new Founding Titan.

As you fought Eren Jaeger, you felt all of Marley’s eyes on you. Horrified civilians and the whole military were counting on you to put a stop to all of this madness. Just like everybody was counting on the other Warriors and their Titans.

At one moment, you were so close. All you needed, was one last hit to finish him off and gain his powers. But that same moment was the beginning of the end. Your end. Before you knew it, everything was in ruin and the crystal you were safely sealed in, was in your enemy’s hands. All kinds of different emotions overcame you, when you heard the War Hammer’s body fall to the ground, as the Attack and Founding Titan picked up the crystal from underneath the ruins.

That’s when you saw Porco’s Titan attack for the first time. He almost succeeded... almost.

You felt tears full of pain run down your cheeks, as you simply couldn’t do anything to help him. You couldn’t even help yourself. Eren was the one, who held your fate in his hands. And he very well knew, what he wanted to do with you. You tried to strike against him one last time and hold him in place, by using the last bits of your Titan’s powers. But after that, you could only watch and wait.

For death or redemption you probably never deserved.

Before you knew it, Eren was tossing the Jaw Titan around like a toy. You heard yourself scream Porco’s name as loud as you could until your voice gave out. But that changed nothing. Eren didn’t stop. He had a mission and he was determined to complete it. Basically... your life meant nothing to him, just like his life meant nothing to you.

So after he took care of Porco and tore all of the Jaw’s limbs off, he showed your crystal right into the Titan’s mouth. Between his exceptionally powerful teeth, which could bite even through metal or other similar strong surfaces.

Your crystal included.

You weren’t sure if Porco saw you inside the crystal. If he got to find out, that it was you all along. But you could swear, that you heard somebody scream your name just seconds before unimaginable pain took over your whole body and before everything went black before your eyes for good.

What did you feel in those final moments? Besides pain, a huge wave of relief washed over you. You never thought that you would die like this. But at least it mean that your suffering was finally ending. The crown, which was placed on your head forcefully, finally fell off and out of the reach of your family.

Maybe... maybe it was better this way.

Maybe... just maybe there was never good and evil. Only many different kinds of evil wearing mismatched masks while pretending to be good.

So when your consciousness faded away for the very last time, you actually felt a little smile form on your lips, just seconds before your tears were mixed with blood.

Right there, amongst the ruins of the city you were born in, Porco Galliard ended your life, when his Jaw Titan snapped your protective crystal to tiny pieces. And all that was left of you – the girl he so sincerely loved – was devoured by Eren Jaeger.

[vintagelasvegas]

February 19, 1959. The original KLAS, Bali Hai Motel, Sun Villa Apts, "Howard Hughes Green House," Blair House Suites. Photo: Kelly-Holiday Collection, Los Angeles Public Library.

The Howard Hughes Green House.

The home was built by James “Jimmie” Fulcher circa ‘49-50 on land owned by Fulcher and Murray Wollman. It might have been a model home for a planned development. The house was leased and later bought by Hughes in ‘53, briefly used as an office, and sealed until his death. It remains in this location.

Paul Winn, former Hughes exec., writing to Vintage Las Vegas in 2022:

“Hughes used the house as an office during the daytime when he was in Vegas in ‘53, working from there when he established the Howard Hughes Medical Institute. Hughes never watched any movies in this house, and he never entertained any famous ladies here either.” “I was Executive Assistant to Bill Gay, later President of Summa Corporation. Bill Gay sealed up the house with tape. After [Hughes Chief Exec.] Robert Maheu was removed from power I came to Vegas many times with Bill; he and I checked the green house frequently to make sure it had not been broken into. I was the first one in this house after the death of Hughes. I made an inventory of the contents, which was not a lot. Randy Hunter and I broke up the concrete floor in one room because a metal detector indicated something which we thought might be a safe - it was not. I know a great deal about the history of this house and my signature is on the deed when it was sold to Landmark Communications.” “I worked for years with Kay Glenn, who was in charge of Hughes’ Operations Office. Kay was here in Vegas with Hughes during the ‘53 period when he worked from the green house. Kay has told me many times that Hughes never spent a night in the green house. He maintained a suite at the Flamingo at that time. The green house was leased from the Fulchers [James S and Beatrice Fulcher], along with some adjacent property. In about ‘73/‘74 Summa Corporation purchased the leased Fulcher property. I sold the remainder of the Fulcher property to Stanley Korman, who built the Bank of America building on Convention Center Drive.”

KLAS-TV was bought by Hughes in '68. The station later relocated its transmitter to Black Mountain, and in the mid 70s relocated the station itself, building a new facility on the roughly 3-acre site shared with the residence. Landmark Communications purchased KLAS-TV from Hughes heirs in '78. The house came with the station.

Sources include: KLAS opens headquarters. Review-Journal, 10/22/76; Jack Breger. Summa sells KLAS-TV. Review-Journal, 2/7/78 p1.

Below: Jul. '50 high altitude photo, US Geological Survey; 2024 image over the same area; highlighted area of the "Green House".

[ghostofskywalker]

A Little Brotherly Teasing

Commander Thorn/Fem!Reader

Fictober 2023 Day 19 of 31

Words: 797

Summary: He's a high ranking commander, an expert in weaponry, and the Coruscant Guard's man on the inside for this Senate gala, but that doesn't mean he's going to get a pass from the teasing. And it's all because he's a little too obvious about his giant crush on you.

@clonexreaderbingo square: "your flirting skills need work"

Clone Troopers Masterlist

Thorn was walking through the halls of the Coruscant Guard’s headquarters when he heard a small noise from his datapad. Immediately, he knew what the message probably was, and he glanced at it to confirm.

Hey Thorn, your girlfriend is waiting for you, hurry up and get here!

He just sighed as he began to walk faster, making sure to send a quick message back to Thire to set the record straight.

She’s not my girlfriend and you know that! I am technically going to be on duty all night.

Another response, barely a moment later.

She may not be your girlfriend now, but you want her to be. We’re not blind you know, even though your flirting skills need work.

Not even bothering to respond, Thorn made his way up to the entrance of headquarters, making sure his officer’s uniform was in perfect condition before he saw you. He (and the rest of the Guard) would be providing security for the Senate at this gala, but he was the lucky one who got to play the role of the man on the inside. It was technically supposed to be Fox, but since he had a bad habit of annoying powerful people, Thorn was given the job instead. He didn’t mind though, because spending his evening next to you certainly beat patrolling the perimeter of the building in the dark.

Thorn stepped into the front lobby of headquarters, and he nearly forgot how to breathe when he saw you. Most of the time your wardrobe was simple and sensible, since you spent your days as a Senate assistant and resident event coordinator, but this time you had gone all out. But of course the most beautiful accessory to your evening wear was your smile, which grew on your face as you saw him.

“Wow,” Thorn said, trying desperately to hide how attracted he was to you. Thire and Stone were right there, and they were not the type to skimp on teasing and brotherly insults. “You look amazing.”

“So do you,” you said, nodding down towards his attire. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in the officer’s uniform before.”

“We don’t get an excuse to wear it that often,” Thorn said.

Even though he tried to be cool, it was apparent that he had failed, because Stone took that moment to cut into the conversation. “Well, I think it’s time you lovebirds headed off to the event!”

Thire smiled in agreement. “I agree! And don’t worry, while the two of you are canoodling in some closet, the rest of the Guard will be making sure nothing goes wrong from our posts on the outside.”

Thorn glared at his brother, incredibly embarrassed. Teasing him in private was one thing, but doing it in front of you? That wasn’t cool.

Thankfully, you just ignored his brothers’ words. “I’m sure everything will go smoothly this evening,” you said.

“And it’s going to be all because of you,” Thorn said. “Didn’t you plan this entire gala on your own?”

You stopped for a moment, clearly not having expected anyone to know that. “I did have a lot of help,” you said bashfully.

“According to Senator Amidala, you were running the show.” The Naboo senator had sent a communication to Thorn when she heard he would be attending, and it was clear that she told him to try and make sure you got the recognition you deserve.

“I’m sure she was being generous.”

Thorn was about to respond, but the sound of Thire’s comm device interrupted. “Fox is wondering where we are,” he said to the group. “We should probably head over to the Senate building now.”

“We should go as well,” you said, holding your arm out for Thorn to take.

The four of you walked out of the Guard’s headquarters together, and soon you and Thorn had split off from the other two. “I’m so sorry about them,” he said. “I just-”

“Don’t worry about it,” you said, cutting him off with a smile. “I thought it was funny.”

That was definitely not the answer Thorn was expecting. “What?”

“Yeah,” you said. “You know you’re terrible at hiding your facial expressions, right?”

The grin that had previously occupied his face dropped in a second, and you just laughed, leaning in to kiss him on the cheek. “Come on,” you said. “Let’s get to the gala or your brothers may send out a search party.”

Staring at you all night and trying not to be obvious about it was going to be absolutely torturous for him, he already knew it, but seeing the smile on your face and the brightness in your eyes made everything completely worth it.

And maybe when everything was over, he would finally ask you out.

- the end - 

i no longer have a taglist! if you're interested in being notified when i post, you can follow my library blog @ghostofskywalker-library and turn on notifications!

[trainingdummyrabbit]

oooooooobhhhh...... would it be alright if you talked abt ur ocs......... if it's not a bother.......

stands here like some sort of beast . this took me two days. im so sorry. inhales

i can absolutely talk abt my ocs yeah :D never ever a bother!!

this is rose and wolfe! theyre two of my lobcorp ocs whom i love very dearly :] they (and the rest of their group) have their own lil story going on, but i say that very loosely bc im just having fun honestly ^_^ and they sure do love making decisions that make that Rather Difficult For Me. but alas, anyhow,

this is inevitably going to get Pretty Fucking Long! (post-post edit. ~35 paragraphs.) so if youre prepared for that. 👍 yippy!! anyway hope you like fucked up little lesbians bc here we go

im probably going to be retreading ground here a bit bc im gonna try and take it from the top, but also because i dont remember what ive said and what i havent so ill just say whatever i remember ^_^

the basic gist of th storyline is that its kind of a pseudo-murdermystery but instead of dying u get turned into some sort of beastie ! ^_^ aka 'nobody knows what the distortion phenomenon is yet and are kinda too busy freaking out about it to notice headquarters exploded last week'. dont worry about that.

slaps notes on the table. this is gonna be really messy and maybe kinda incomprehensible but its ok bc this is just how its going to be. hope this helps.

OK LISTEN. they started out as one thing and then slowly kinda turned into something else and theyve been haunting me for months but they make talking about them Literally Impossible because of how much they just. fucking cling to each other, narratively. its impossible. they make everything so fucking difficult.

wolfe is some offshoot of a take on those Edgy Playground Wolf Ocs that you see a lot in middle school-- or well, thats the root of it. she was always going to be played fully seriously, but everyone was kinda written more silly-like towards the beginning anyhow. yknow, one of those 'orphan lab experiment who pretty much had to take care of themself and really hates people, with Cool Mysterious Powers theyre really conflicted about' type characters. and honestly a lot of that still sticks, really.

she presents herself in a kind of over-the-top way to try and get people to take her seriously and leave her alone, but honestly its just kind of . offputting.. in a way, shes kind of a stand-in for what its like to be a teenager (neurodivergence notwithstanding). sometimes the only thing you can do to get people to listen to you is to make a scene and yell really loud! and everyone will always discredit it as just something that happens while growing up, being "disobedient" because you want attention or want to be rebellious and contrary, but everything you feel IS real and it DOES hurt and nobody BELIEVES you so all you can do is yell LOUDER. its all theyll respond to. (and all it does is make people double down on what they think of you.)

wolfe is a character that is honestly kind of genuinely a bit extra, a little bit embarrassing, but very genuine. a lot of her life was spent not being able to decide what happened to her physically; just kinda pulled and prodded around whether she liked it or not; (again, the whole orphan lab experiment thing was never a lie.) and thrashing around is really all she can do about it. be inconvenient, irritating, hard to deal with; any small victory, any little foothold would do. unfortunately, most of what that's ever done is make things harder for herself. (she hates being expected to be something convenient to others, yet in her attempts to cast it away, forms her worldview to the dichotomy they set up around her. curious !)

so you have this fucked up lil thing and drop her into an lcorp facility. great superb fantastic. n then you give her some ego gear and it messes her up Big Time because guess what, her body is all sorts of fucked up and is Not reacting well with this whole thing, causing it to quite literally Stick and all those 'mild' side effects are now 'major' side effects and everyones Fussing over you again because youre an Anomaly and you Dont get any rest and youre still getting used to a body and mind that isnt Quite what it was before and you Cant leave since they need to figure out whats going on here and Oh God Fucking Damn It Its Again.

so its pretty fair that shes being Like That about the whole thing all things considered.

at this point shes just trying to make it through day by day without someone prodding her about something or another, just stop Staring at her already, fuck off. just one foot in front of the other and try not to think about it too hard. thumbsup 👍 more often than not she works alone; not just because of her own decisions, but also did you know cobalt scar gets a boost on low hp for the exchange of activating friendly fire? pretty crazy. shes kinda reckless and bound to get herself hurt anyway, so it doesnt really Change anything to just kinda.. send her out there without backup. not like she works well with others anyway, right? itd be pretty dangerous to pair her up with someone n all. yknow.

it kinda sucks, yknow? at this point shes so fucking tired of The Everything that honestly she just wants to get in and get out as quickly as possible without having to deal with any nonsense. shes still really pissed off about the entire Situation, still trying to keep any small bit of autonomy she gets to have, but like. well. sometimes it really is easier to just Do Your Job And Leave. finish your tasks and not think about it and not bother with anyone and fuck off until you have to do it again. thats how it always wouldve been anyway, right? easy. annoying. so, so annoying. god she fucking hates it here.

so anyway, rose. she sucks. she doesnt, but i have to say it every time i talk about her Or Else. shes the reason i have such a hard time talking about The Everything. and also why i had to rewrite this and take Two Days getting to it. she is just. So Much. shes an idiot. shes too smart for her own good. she would fit right in as a YA novel protagonist. this is all stalling on trying to explain what the hell is wrong with her.

honestly on a surface level shes pretty chill all things considered. mostly stays in her lane, gets along with people pretty easily, just kinda goes here, pretty good at small talk. she loves listening to people. she Loves listening to people. the problem. she isnt lying, per se, about her entire Presentation and general manner of being, but she isnt really honest either. shes disingenuous. kind of.

rose as a character is Very aware of how people act, and why they choose what they do in what situations. as such, she has gotten very good at Acting A Part rather than actually Living It. she loves listening to people because she wants to know who they are. not in a "i want to get to know my coworkers ^_^" type of way but in a "writing down all your character traits and quirks to record your habits" type of way. a weird sort of genre-awareness. she is very Very easily able to track exactly what type of person someone is and adjust the way she acts around them to... any sort of effect she wants to, honestly. mostly its just quelling dumb spats and getting people to stop being stupid like people tend to do, but every so often she isnt exactly averse to just kinda... messing with people. only a little! but she Could, if she Wanted to. which she doesnt. because shes nice.

rose sees interpersonal interaction as a complex 'game'. not by that name, but by that function. everyone always Expects something, in engaging with another, and all it really is at its core is getting what you want without giving too much ground. to figure out who the Other is without them figuring out who You are. its a competition. to understand what another person Is is what gives you the advantage. to know is to win, to be known is to lose. keep your cards as close to your chest as you can, and they cant control you. easy. its something everyone Does, but only a few acknowledge. she was just good enough to learn.

but like, admittedly, shes very chill. shes literally nice? like yeah all that but she is literally nice. shes fine. shes like... fine? shes all right. like Yeah it sounds bad when you put it like that but she is literally nice.

rose plays a lot with the idea of Symbol. shes a fully realized person, yeah, but she was never Expected to be. she exists mostly as a formality, and she knows thats all that was really expected of her. she was there to Fulfill An Ideal and little else; so she reaches for what she can when she can. be Sweet and Simple and Pretty-- that's all. and she isnt, she knows this, but it sure does make things simple when thats all people know of you. (impossible for people to dig for information people dont think exists.)

a flower in a broken vase unsure if its defined by the petals or the holes. shes someone intrinsically frustrated by the rules that define her, but is unable to comprehend a self without it. clinging to it because its the sole point of control she feels she can Have over things, but wishing to cast it aside to self realize and prove that shes worth the time of day to acknowledge. (she doesnt care what her caretakers thought of her, but still she defines her actions based on their idea of her. curious !)

so you have these two in the general vicinity of one another right.

rose initially interacts with wolfe as almost a game. a test, even. just to see if she could get anything out of the weird one that sulks in a corner by themself, refusing to interact with anyone. shes just curious, yknow? and wolfe, obviously, takes this about as well as you think she would. dont you have better things to do?? stop asking about my fucking hobbies. ..rose could always count on her for a reaction.

wolfe was very, Very resistant to playing along much at all. she thought that giving just simple brush-off responses would get her to get the hint that it wasnt worth bothering, but then rose would come back with more questions building off of whatever they'd talked about, just... idly talking at her. a frequent annoyance turning into just. consistent background noise. yeah this might as well be happening. but even still, the amount of things that rose remembered and considered and genuinely seemed to listen to kind of caught her off guard. it was... weird. it was really really weird.

it wasnt really all that hard to read what wolfe was feeling at any given moment. it was kind of funny, honestly, especially with how she tended to present herself. (honestly, how did everyone else just Miss all of this?) but after some time, rose was surprised to find that she started to just... speak to her frankly. it was stark, only every so often, almost as if she didnt realize the shift in her own tone. its around then that rose started piecing things together herself and... oh. ohh. (how did everyone just miss all of this?)

Bad News Motherfuckers! Its Fucking Over For Both Of You! wolfe finds someone who is genuinely willing to listen to her on the sole drive of simply Understanding Her, rather than wanting something in exchange, wanting something From her; and rose. god. she finds a reflection of exactly what she wishes she couldve been, things she couldve done, were she not shaped into what she Is. an understanding of something she'd never acknowledged, never knew was there, but was there with her the entire time. someone with a clear understanding of what they are, willing to fight tooth and nail to keep it, regardless of what anyone or anything else tries to do with them. things that the narrative constantly tries to take from them; things that rose wants so desperately to let wolfe keep.

so yknow, girl things. THIS is where things get really annoying.

rose seemed to enjoy messing with wolfe just for fun, but honestly shes just kinda taken by her honesty. she doesnt ever seem to have any ulterior motives when shes around her, she just… is. and does. because she wants to. rose honestly isnt really sure how to handle someone who isnt just… mildly bluffing at all times, especially about connection. that level of vulnerability is scary to her. so she teases her. she expects her being flustered-- and she is-- but still, she finds herself caught off guard by wolfe's earnestness.

even so, rose catches herself being far more open than she intends to be-- accidentally, at first, against her better judgement, but then tentatively, almost as if to test the waters. just how much could she show of herself and still uphold that trust? how many red flags can she put up before wolfe notices? no, that was unfair. before it becomes unforgivable. before it recontextualizes her. she cares, yes, genuinely and deeply so. (but what does that mean, coming from her?) she wants wolfe to be safe. (im asking you to leave.)

wolfe and rose both trust each other to a degree that they dont trust many others. its the passive understanding that theyre very much alike, and the even more silent knowledge that they want better for each other; in a roundabout way of knowing that they themselves deserved better, no matter how much they insist otherwise.

theyre very genuine with each other in a way that kind of surprises themselves. neither of them quite know what theyre doing, nor do they want to put a name to something so fleeting, but… its there.

wolfe desperately wants to be closer to rose, but hates that she desires that vulnerability. (it was always rather dangerous, showing your hand like that.) its an annoying fondness, constantly prickling at the back of her head any time rose is even remotely relevant. even when she isnt. shes kind of haunted. shes very defensive of her in a way she honestly doesnt realize until someone points it out. it just comes naturally to her. (whats the difference between a guard dog and an attack dog again..? (is she really ready to deal with the implications of this? is this not just having another will enacted on you? how does she really feel about that?))

rose, meanwhile, is… actually also conflicted. she likes wolfe. this is obvious. it wasnt intended, and she can roll with it, but it's… complicated. she handles it a lot more analytically. she notices when wolfe takes a step forward, and matches it in turn. equivalent exchange, and all. show that youve noticed, that you care, that youre paying attention. (i think she may be afraid. despite her presentation, she's afraid.)

she acknowledges the feeling of desire in this bond-- she wants wolfe to be able to live outside of others' influence. desperately. (if she cant, then…) she refuses to acknowledge what this says of Herself, though. but most importantly, she knows how easy it would be to simply take the role of someone who controls her. (isnt that just what she's always done to others?) she hates the idea of becoming that. (it would be so easy.) goes out of her way to avoid influencing her in that way-- but somehow, this just makes her more distant. hesitant to touch.

and with that fear, she tends to react, again, logically. tries to solve it like a puzzle, like she always has. finds the shortest distance to a perceived goal. this makes her rather distant, disconnected-- shes trying to control her own feelings by controlling what is around it.

what this means, most importantly, is that she is unable to trust wolfe the way She trusts her. she isnt strong enough to push back against what she sees of herself, or that which she uses to protect herself. giving in to those well-walked patterns instead of being able to brave uncertainty in something that new. she hides herself because she isnt sure what will become of her-- and is too afraid to risk what may come of losing the person she suddenly deeply cares about. setting herself up to crash harder should the worst happen. because she would simply blame herself. proving herself right.

meanwhile wolfe is dealing with Actually Trusting Someone for the first time in longer than she can remember, whether she likes it or not. maybe she was being stupid. maybe this was just a foolish foray into trusting people like she’d always told herself not to do. but… but. rose just brought this sense of comfort wherever she went, this feeling of certainty.

it was never good to let your guard down, but… but just this once, she so badly wanted to. once you let these things go, it becomes harder to get them back. she knew this. and yet, all the parts of her that protested were overruled by a deep desire to simply lie down and fall asleep in that comforting feeling. how frustrating. how annoying. how dangerous. now she had someone she could not argue against. and yet, she held this advantage as if she did not know it was one she wielded, a dangerous thing held without intent. was this trust? …did she want it to be?

and so, foolishly perhaps, she decided to trust. it was a tenuous thing, unbeknownst to anyone but herself. …probably. rose did have a way of seeing right through people. but even through all that, through the Everything… it felt nice to have someone to look out for. someone to worry about, someone on your mind when there used to be nobody else but you. she’d spent so long worrying about the repercussions of leaving your back to someone, yet she’d never known the comfort of having someone do the same to you. she’d never realized how hard it was to do much of anything with fangs bared the entire way. the ache of worry was dull compared to the weight of silence. (she would give her Everything to her. all or nothing, with her. maybe this was simply part of the inevitable problem.)

hey remember the whole turning-into-creatures thing? yeah thats still happening. crazy right? anyway. The Problem.

so you have people turning into things not quite unlike abnormalities, expressions of deep fears and desires running away with what used to be a human. and youve got some fucked up little guy with a Lot of barely repressed issues thats deceptively easy to mess with and actively averse to anybody really reaching out to them whatsoever.

and then rose is trying her best to figure out whats causing all this bullshit going on, but also her . coworker. is suddenly acting Really snappy and distant and its kinda starting to make her worried and she doesnt want to push her but shes looking really rough lately and fuck. wait. god. wait. shit.

long inhale. so you have two stupid motherfuckers 100% willing to drop everything and kill everyone in this facility and then themselves if anything so much as happens to the other (but theyre super normal about it, its fine, the other doesnt have to know.) theyre so good at this interpersonal interaction thing guys they swear (dont look too close though ok haha.) theyre sooo unknowable guys theyre really pulling a fast one on everyone here. they Definitely know what to do to fix the problem forever its fine they totally get it. dont stop them.

anyway heres a bunch of images for no reason

[felassan]

Some thoughts on the Dragon Age: Dreadwolf leak on Reddit which included screenshots & a gif along with text, under a cut due to potential spoilers for DA:D -

first: the usual set of disclaimers that accompany all leaks apply - might not be real, unable to verify at present, games change a fair bit between development phases and final release, take with grain of salt etc

Screenshots:

Weisshaupt, headquarters of the Grey Wardens, as a location which we will travel to irl and not in the Fade.. ngl I have been dreaming of this since 2010 [yelling]. really hyped. we previously speculated these concepts were of Weisshaupt. (compare the blue-ish domes in those with the blue-ish dome structures in the screenshots.) in some of the screenshots, Weisshaupt looked badly damaged.

Weisshaupt Library is extensive and was noted in Last Flight to contain a glass sarcophagus decorated with the horns of Andoral that contains the arms and armor of Garahel. BioWare pls.. Iet's see it :D and what if by 9:52 the Library or Weisshaupt also contains some relics of or references to the Hero of Ferelden.. 🥺👉👈 or that there are some references to Hawke's presence in Weisshaupt at one time kicking around in codex or notes or something..

Seems to confirm that Davrin ("Nobody dies on my watch! For the Wardens!") is a companion who can join us in the field. I wonder if we start out with him or get him early in the game, like Alistair/Morrigan, Cassandra/Varric etc. obviously for later game missions you can choose anyone to come with you usually so it could just be that, but perhaps this storybeat we're seeing here is set near the start of the game? and with darkspawn attacking Weisshaupt (confirmed as well in the text), the very heart of the order, imagine how Davrin's feeling (since he seems to be a rather heroic or knightly Warden).. :[

The other named and voiced character from that previous trailer was Bellara. if Davrin is a companion like we may be seeing here, it wouldn't be wild to suggest that maybe Bellara is too, given they were both featured similarly at the time.

"There's worse than darkspawn on the way" / "And the walls won't hold it back" likely refers to the dragon said in the text to also be attacking Weisshaupt? it some of the screenshots in the background there looks to be the silhouette of a great beast, maybe the dragon. their head certainly looks draconic.

ROOK? :D NOW WHO ARE THEY? another companion like Davrin? this makes three new named DA:D characters (as in appearing in the game itself) that we know of. Davrin, Bellara and Rook. the other possibility is what if Rook is the PC? is "Rook" a surname, title or codename? it's catchy, cool/badass, snappy, short, Hawke-like.

"Rook" imagery (brought up by the name): birds (Hawke had a bird motif), corvids (Antivan Crows..), the Skyhold Rookery (what if they were an agent or former agent of Leliana's? "Rook" would be a good spy codename and it would fit in with stuff like 'Rector' and 'Charter'.. plus it seems we'll have some link to the Inquisition remnants going forwards per TN etc), chess pieces (games of strategy, tactics, trying to outwit Solas, Solas manipulating events), the Tower tarot card and its meanings, and most interestingly [yodels]: the Red Book, the front of which shows a wolf aflame above a rook/tower. the Red Book link makes me lean towards "Rook is the PC"

What on earth is a "Spawn Boil"? darkspawn-associated, and "boil" carries both unpleasant + dangerous/unhealthy imagery, it doesn't sound good at all.. the Children in Awakening spent time in cocoons, they had hatchlings, and there are fleshy sacks of the Taint in previous games.. maybe the pulsing red dark thing we saw previously is a Spawn Boil (a pulsing or cocoon-like thing always gives me the impression that something might hatch or burst out of it, and boils can burst or pop..), and red lyrium has something to do with it, especially considering the following point

Lots of red in some images. not good. not good at all (as in, I'm in-universe worried. u know). the text refers to red lyrium. Varric, don't look 😭 in the image which includes "Destroy the Spawn Boils", the darkspawn are fuzzy so I'm squinting and could just be seeing things but they remind me a lot of these guys. hello, red lyrium darkspawn creatures! (also confirmed in the text) I guess that could be why we need to hurry and destroy the Spawn Boils, because red lyrium darkspawn come out of them or are powered up by them or trying to spread them or somesuch

UI may change between now and release (UI is often one of the last things done or tweaked in a game iirc) I think so I'm leaving off focusing overmuch on it just now. I like the purple though

seems like this playtest was being done on a console?

menus and similar: Map, Character, Companions, Skills, Collections (what's Collections, stuff like mosaic pieces?). an inventory 'bag'. equipment slots. accessory slots. skill slots. currency. are the bits next to the money going to be resource piles, like for crafting? the Grappling Chain warrior skill returns. considering this character is a Warrior, maybe the punching arm icon is for Mighty Blow? the Guard mechanic returns. Items can't be changed during combat. looks like there's multiple slots on the shield itself (for runes and upgrades?)

Item description: "A shield emblazoned with the Templar's symbol. It's particularly effective at absorbing impacts. This one has been enchanted by the Mournwatch" [!!!] "to grant additional resistance against Spirits".

"Level [x] Grey Warden"? Is that this character's background/origin, class, spec? Can the PC become a Grey Warden? Any relation to the 'factions background' fan-theory? Also this character is an elf! in the text the leaker seemed to say that this was who they played. So the PC is an elf, or race selection returns?

The armor and equipment etc looks cool

Also what's with the crumbling stuff in the background on the character menu, do you see that? :D It's like the crumbling of the Dreadwolf logo and promo art assets on the website. Fadey stuff and realitywarping-theories senses tingling..

in the image where there's a character who isn't wearing a helmet, the hair looks decent. that's something which is also mentioned in the text.

also in that image, what's with the purpley fire[?] stuff? purple lyrium? (red+blue=....) purple roots? also there is a green tint to the lighting outside in this image. I think this whole segment we're seeing (darkspawn attack Weisshaupt and something?? is going on) is this scene from concept art being played out on-screen.

very Wardenny doors with the griffons and the chalice. the closing door scene reminds me of the 'party closes the doors to the Temple of Mythal' scene in DA:I. also like the variety of characters holding the door shut & shown in the level scene. humans, dwarves, elves, someone who looks like they're a Qunari. does one of the dwarves look like Harding to anyone else, or am I tripping?

hhh the Grey Wardens put griffon decorations on their big lever.

Gif:

Warriors seem to have have a kicking skill or move, as shown by the foot skill icon and move executed by the character (text describes this as being like a drop kick)

Dead bodies on the ground which don't yet have their textures (that's normal)

More darkspawn

"Resilience"

More purple stuff

It looks or 'feels' like the snippet we saw from the trailer (Grey Warden-armor character doing Shield Wall)

Hard to judge ofc from a very short snippet that we ourselves aren't playing, but yeah the combat looks action-y (action RPG) and from this snippet at least I don't personally see why I wouldn't enjoy it or find it fine (everyone's different tho ofc ^^)

Text (body of post):

"I was honestly shocked when we got no gameplay reveal at TGA, as I was sure we'd get something considering the timing this video was shared with me" - this is interesting

OP notes that what the playtester played was early Alpha. DA:D completed its Alpha milestone in October 2022

Some elements missing textures, missing audio etc tracks with what was said in Insider Gaming's report

Story details: the segment was set within Weisshaupt. the PC being played here is an elf (this was apparent from the screenshots but reading "the player character was an elf" sent me to another planet with hype ok). ((I hope this means race selection returns)) I could be wrong but I'd guess that "Knight" was like, general fantasy world language the playtester was using to try and describe what the character they played was like to their contact, rather than in-game text for the character (in the same way as how "mirrored portal" may be eluvians)? A warrior, armed and armored in gray/silver with a sword, shield and helmet, you know? I'd guess the "knight dude" party member is Davrin (Davin - Grey Warden warrior, confirmed?). Lady dwarf companion confirmed?? (Harding? or Bellara?)

I do hope three squadmates as in DAO, DAII and DA:I hasn't been reduced to only two as this suggests. It's like that in ME so it's not the end of the world, but three friends is always going to be more fun and engaging, especially in a series in which the companions are always the high point

More story details: Darkspawn attacking Weisshaupt (as we see in the screenshots) is a big deal hello?? This is the famous Warden stronghold, their very HQ, being attacked by the thing they exist to destroy/protect the world from. explains why Weisshaupt looks wrecked. Wtf is going on??? scared.. Where is the First Warden in all of this? this is so not good. Especially given the red lyrium spreading and the red lyrium darkspawn. That isn't a surprise as we saw something to that effect in concept art and a trailer, but still. we in danger. "some have red lyrium attacks" omg. is there any connection between this attack on Weisshaupt and whatever weird stuff was implied to be going on at Weisshaupt in the DA:I epilogue?

The dragon is also Concerning.. like. Darkspawn attacking, with a dragon involved. That sounds like a Blight and an Archdemon. Is this the Sixth Blight? is it a Red Lyrium Blight? I'm reminded of this concept art. also HELLO?

"The objective is to fight through the Darkspawn to get to the library, but as you are doing so there is also a big ass dragon attacking from above. And the dragon creates occasional environmental and traversal hazards. It ends once you reach the library, close the gates," [this will be the door shutting scene surely] "and then come face to face with the dragon. It appears you are then supposed to try and chain the dragon up, but it ends before the player completes that." I guess the big lever we see has something to do with trying to chain the dragon up. Why chain it up?? I'm reminded of Ataashi in Trespasser, the dragon in Dark Fortress and the dragon in Absolution. I guess if it was a normal Archdemon, why would we be chaining it up? so it's not or there's something weird or something else going on

"Basically, buildings and whatnot are all modeled and textured but the skybox itself is very dark and makes it seem as though the entire fortress is underground, although it is clearly not. I suspect the skybox could contain some giant world event, similar to the Breach, they hadn't finished." - this is interesting and I'm once again reminded of this piece of concept art where there's something wild going on in the sky or air outside Weisshaupt

OP was told about the God of War (2018) thing, which is what was said on ResetEra. they also mention about little to no party control (or none currently), which is what was said in the Insider Gaming article and iirc was said on ResetEra

Does "completely in real-time" imply no pause button or tactical cam in this build?

Since there's an 'Armor' bar, maybe 'Guard' is actually the special bar that builds up allowing you to pull off a musou special move?

"I don't really understand the comparison to FF15's wheel. It's standard Dragon Age ability wheel." - this contrasts with the bit about this in the Insider Gaming article

Animation quality has drastically improved, jumping returns, warriors can parry and counter

Player's hair "looked glorious", "flowing and bouncing" omg. don't need to say anything here other than [yodels]

Text (comments from OP):

OP elaborates in a comment that the screenshots/gif footage is from an "early build, years old", and that the game is now "way past this state"

On the dragon's environmental hazards, OP expands: "Like the dragon spews fire on the ground requiring you to go around an intended path or blocks off a path so you gotta go up a ladder"

OP describes the level shown as linear

OP mentions in a comment that "Red Templars" are what's invading Weisshaupt, but given the darkspawn they mention elsewhere and in the screenshot text, I'm assuming they meant "red lyrium darkspawn" here and got mixed up?

More references to the devs looking at Gears of War (2018) as a guide when making DA:D, in terms of things like combat/inspiration (it sounds like that anyway)

general feel/thoughts: no way of knowing for sure but looks/feels real/legit to me. also I like the look and feel of it, am excited :)

also I rambled in places in this post sry. :'>

[source]

[bts-0t-7]

Tonight | KSJ | Chapter 7

Pair: Seokjin x Hamster Hybrid Reader 

Summary: Dedicating his life to never having another person to count on, to be strong, Seokjin finds himself in the middle of an illegal fighting ring. The person he wanted to erase was just at his fingertips but he was slipping. No, he was leaving. He was accepting a change and he was afraid. 

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hybrid, non-idol au, detective, smut, abuse (sensitive topic)

Warnings: abuse, self-harm, self-degration, lots of lying and miscommunications, angst angst and angst

WC: 2.2K

The next few days passed by like clockwork - sleep, work, eat, sleep, work, eat. There wasn’t much going on but you could feel the tension in everybody at the headquarters after the breakout incident. You weren’t sure who was the prisoner but Mr Park was fuming. 

“What do you mean by he’s not responding? Ur telling me that they anticipated our moves and are now what - Already moving forward?”

You couldn’t hear much from where you were and your groggy mind was still processing that you are trying to be awake. But you could make out Mr Park’s fast and nervous movements and the frantic voices over the phone. 

“You’ve got to be kidding with me right?”

“Hyung, nobody’s kidding. They’re on the move and right now, all the plans are scratched. We are trying to locate them and predict their next move but it’s as if they’ve gone dark. Even with Esther in the dark web, there is no movement from them.” 

A baritone voice sounded, “They refuse to negotiate and in this state - if we move, we are dead. He wasn’t wrong when he said that they knew who we were. I do not doubt that they have already figured it out long ago and we were just playing with puppets these few weeks.”

You registered the dip at the side of the bed before Mr Park reached over to rub your ears. You let out a sleepy mumble, crawling over to hug his waist. “What happened?” You peeked open your eyes. 

“It’s alright, darling. But I probably won’t be coming home for dinner these few days. You won’t be cooking to work with me for now either. I’ll cook lunch and dinner - Do you think you can handle yourself alone at home?”

You nodded. You didn’t want to put more stress on Mr Park. With the incident a few days ago and the ongoing phone call, you knew that he was only going to get busier - and you didn’t want to be one of his worries. 

Mr Park left soon after his calls, but not before ensuring that you had everything. It was fine at first but it got too overbearing when he was double, triple, quadruple checking things every morning and night. While it was sweet at first, you were grown and have your own capability. His coworkers calling him that he was late was also a reason for you to drag him away from the cabinets and refrigerator. 

“Mr Park,” You stopped him. “You’ve double checked this every morning and I am capable of taking care of myself.” You pulled him away from the cabinets of food and medications to the living room where his bags and shoes were ready. “You’re going to be late. Again.”

Mr Park sucked in a deep breath. “Okay, okay. Just make sure you -”

“Eat your meals, 2 supplements every day, and one pill after every food.” You sighed. “Yes, I know.”

He bit his lip and started again before you held out your hand, stopping his words.

“Please, your coworkers downstairs have ben honking for fifteen minutes now. Any more and our neighbours are going to file a noise complaint.”

“Okay, okay, I’ll be going then.” You waved back at him. 

These few days you spent most of your time catching up on the dramas and social medias, understanding how things work in the house. But that one room that you had never entered out of respect was Mr Park’s office. In the earlier days, he had told you to keep out of the room. But recently, he mentioned that you could explore any part of the house - even the office. 

Bu tout of respect for his and his clients privacy, you never did. But it would be lying if you said that the suspense of walking past that door multiple times a day and eventually staring at it from the sofa wasn’t killing you. You wanted to know what was in there. Are there pictures? Is it messy? Are there any food or drinks in the room? What is the style and environment he works in?

It got so much that you were - once again - outside the door, staring at it. Deciding to bite the bullet and enter today, your hand shakily reached for the door handle. 

You thought that there was nothing much to worry - that it would be just like any office that you have seen over the years. Cabinets full of books and bottles of alcohol, trophies of all sorts lined up against the wall as a form of pride, cigars and weapons lying around ceaselessly. But no, it was cabinets full of books but no alcohol, the trophies were not heads of tusks but simple metals and pictures, and the room was clean. Not cigars, no weapons. 

But those pictures hanging on the walls, those pictures at the table and cabinets. You swiped two fingers over the frame. It may have been a long time since you saw him but his face and those eyes - you will never forget. 

“Mr Park, you had a hybrid?”

His eyes turned downcast. “Yes, once. But he passed away four years ago in an accident.”

You tilted your head. “May I ask what happened?”

He looked up at you with a sad smile. “Wrong time, wrong place.” 

The only person who you could count as family, is gone. You didn’t want to believe it. You had all the proof even without entering the room but you were in denial. You knew you were in denial. But knowing this - 

Is this how it feels like to have a broken heart?

Does it hurt so bad you feel as if your whole body was aching?

Looking around the room, you found pictures of Mr Park. Name tags, badges, medals. But they were all given to Kim Seokjin. 

“Hyung, they weren’t lying when they said that they knew who we are.”

It couldn’t be…Right?

Ploughing through the cabinets, you found stacks and stacks of paper. You bidding paper, your legal adoption papers, and bills after bills of your medical checkups, food, and essentially everything.

Why would Mr Park keep these?

You found recorders in a box, specifically labelled, from the front of the box to the back. You ignored them first, deciding to pick up the papers and read them through. They didn’t seem like much to you until you reached the end of the file, labelling sections of recordings. Picking up the box you left on the table, you compared the names and numbers before picking them out. 

Laying them in order wasn’t too hard but nothing could prepare you for what you heard. 

Recording 1: “Testing, testing. Min Yoongi.” 

“Sir, I would advice that you do not touch him.”

“Hyung, you clearly know this isn’t a good idea. What if they found out?”

“$1.45 Million Won.”

“I knew that you want her so I just thought to give you a push. Heh.”

Recording 2: “Testing, testing. Kim Namjoon.”

“Jungkook ah, can you not do that? It’s so gross, oh my gosh-”

“Yes sir!”

“Hyung, I will be heading up to the rooms to find more information. They seem to have weakened the surrounding security there.”

“Move, son of a bitch.”

“Hyung, they are moving at a slower pace an anticipated. It’s too easy that we should re-think our plans. We may be playing into a trap if we do not think rationally.”

Recording 3: “Testing, testing. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Yo, yo, yo. Hehehehe.”

“Proceed with it. Let’s move in. Be alert at all times, we may have the blueprints, studied the layouts, does not mean we can slack off. This is enemy territory, we do not show mercy.”

“Go around the corner, back each other up.”

“All clear, let’s go.”

“What did I miss?”

“Nothing much, disabled and hacked.”

“Are you seriously -”

Recording 4: “Testing, testing. Jung Hoseok.”

“Hyung, Namjoon is in.”

“Orders are meant to be followed or are you telling me that my orders mean nothing to you?”

“Bring me a doctor. Now!”

Recording 5: “Testing, testing. Kim Taehyung.”

“I know, I know. All I need to do is insert the kill chip and keep silent as the sturdy and emotionless bodyguard.”

“Holy shi -” 

“I cannot understand why hyung would bid for that girl.”

“I thought he would never have another hybrid after Jimin.”

“Stop it. Jimin was my everything.”

Who was this Kim Taehyung? Jiminie? His everything? Perhaps…were they mates?

Your hands shook as you played the last recording.

Recording 6: “Testing, testing. Kim Seokjin.”

No. 

No, no, no. 

You sank down on the floor as the recording continued on.

“Move in.”

“Taehyung-ah, be careful okay?”

“Shut it. How dare you disrespect me - youngest son of Park Si-Jung?”

“Tsk.”

“$1.57 Million Won.”

“She is mine now.”

“We still need her, she can be our ticket in.”

“Enough. I do not want to hear you telling me what I should’ve done.”

If clearly lying about his name and hiding your best friend from you wasn’t enough, this felt like your breaking point. 

But was it? 

Are you able to hang on longer?

Is this where you end? Were you finally break after all these years of fighting and training your mind and body?

You weren’t sure of how to feel. You collapsed onto the carpenter floors as the papers stared back at you. You did not want to believe it, you did not want to even think that its was a possibility. But all these pictures and all these time, it just solidifies what you have expected. You could no longer dismiss the fact of his scent around the house, on that cat, in that room. The study that Mr Park - no, Seokjin - forbade you to enter was full of his pictures. 

You childhood friend, Jimin.

Your only friend. One so close you regarded him as a brother - was gone. And he had been gone for more than four years. 

And those deceiving letters and recordings, your owner did not buy you out of pity. He bought you cause he needed you. You had been used, beaten, and betrayed your entire life. You had though that you’ll meet your end in the ring. You didn’t have life in you every time you fought. You knew that you were only kept like a well-oiled machine just waiting for your depreciation to increase before becoming of no more use. 

But when Seokjin had brought you home and took care of you, you thought that perhaps you could live like your peers, be more carefree and have fun. You thought that he cared for you. 

You thought. 

And you were clearly wrong. 

Looking at the floor filled with papers, you were filled with the emotion of the unknown. You were betrayed but you have never felt this betrayed. You gave your heart to him - gave your all to him - just for him to let it slide through like any random puddle of sand. Your heart hurt, your head hurt, and you didn’t know what to do. 

There were many times that you have lived that you didn’t know what to do. But this was much beyond your speciality. Many times, you just had to ensure that you played the part of a pretty girl, a strong soldier, a hardworking student. All you had to do was wait it out and it will play nicely. Life was certainly much easier back then - and much less painful compared to what you go through now. 

Constantly being beat up in the ring, spending days and weeks and months in the hospital doing rehabilitation; constantly being scolded and shoved outside to sleep like a dog, certainly did not feel as bad as it did now.

This sense of betrayal… it felt like your whole body was burning inside out. You felt as if you were placed on a stake and it was a bonfire surrounding you. It hurts but your hands were tied. You didn’t know what to do. You truly didn’t. 

You looked up at the mounted clock just above the door. 

It read, 04 00. 

Slowly standing up, you packed the papers back into the drawer, adjusted the picture frames, turned off the lights, and left. Looking back into the room one last time, ensuring that it looked the way it did when you entered, and walked back to the bedroom. Entering the room with heavy feet, you looked past the drawn curtains, and to the moon that shone its borrowed light into the room. You had always thought the moon was pretty, being able to play with the stars, to shine so brightly even when its so lonely. Nobody plays in the night and everybody worships the sun. 

But the moon does not complain. It shines bright every night, giving light to those who need it. 

And whenever you asked, it answered. 

And you knew what you should do. 

[keepingupwitht]

"Counting the Cost" by Jill Duggar Dillard

Last night, I read all of Counting the Cost in one sitting because apparently my fundie fascination is still going strong over a year after we closed down KUWF. I've got a lot of takeaways I want to talk about so I'm going to put a cut and get into it all after the jump.

In the beginning of the book, it struck me how generally correct we were about Jill and growing up as a Duggar. She was a people pleaser and playing the role of “Sweet Jilly Muffin” was so important to her. She loved her childhood and her parents. It’s interesting both from Jinger & Jill that as kids, the Duggar childhood of their memories is an idyllic one. There was a lot of emphasis on their values - no rock music, dancing, movies, etc. but it was a lot of time spent together and fun and games. 

We also saw the shift in the way they grew up - they were always IBLP inspired conservative Christains, but were attending a regular baptist church up until they attended a different church one week that had dancing in the service. Suddenly, they started attending an IBLP only church and getting deeper in. Jill recounts the first time she went to an IBLP conference and realized there were other families like theirs. It was interesting to see their early progression deeper into the cult (which Jill even calls it by the end of the book). 

Jim Bob getting into politics was interesting - Josh’s early interest in it, while Jill preferred to get treats from the other legislators, made a lot of sense. When Josh is sent away, Jill glosses over some of the details (fair enough) but it’s interesting to me to see how she lays out the three things happening around the same time: (1) going deeper into IBLP, (2) her dad getting involved in politics and (3) Josh getting sent away. It lays the groundwork for what TLC is about to walk into and change everything. 

Jim Bob also saying he knew God wanted him to run for Senate, then losing and immediately being noticed by the press and ultimately Discovery - and opening the “window of opportunity” for their family to be on TV was a little wild. The fact that all this happened ultimately because this man flipped a coin three times and got heads all three times - something that has a ⅛ probability of happening - is sorta wild. 

Jill not enjoying filming was something I did not expect - honestly I always thought that she was one of the kids who enjoyed it more. But it makes sense now that she was one of the few who refused to have her honeymoon filmed and refused TLC cameras at her birth, which Jana and Michelle filmed. Those were one of the things that I noticed at the time but didn’t realize what it meant. Good for Jill for standing her ground on both those things - although she wanted to refuse to have her birth filmed at all. 

It was interesting to me that the Duggars were not an IBLP model family UNTIL the show. The show put them in that position - Jill didn’t think they’d be one without it. And the line about Jana being invited to visit headquarters as the only blond to be one of “Gothard’s Girls” just hurts to think about in hindsight. 

It’s interesting how long they propped Josh up as the golden boy while he was in trouble behind the scenes. 

In hindsight, the fact that Jim Bob really set up Jill and Derick is really something, since they would ultimately be the first to really break away. 

Everytime Jill advocates for herself, I am so proud. She pushed for two weeks in Nepal to meet Derick even when they only wanted to film part of the trip, and got the time. They filmed a fake goodbye and then spent another week getting to know each other. 

 I didn’t expect to have my lawyer hat on, but the fact that Jim Bob had Jill sign a contract the day of her rehearsal dinner with everything going on with her MILs health without letting her read it, and her not even realizing what was happening was just atrocious. Just pure and straight abuse. 

The fact that Jill was not paid for any filming and thought she was volunteering at her family ministry for the majority of the time she was filming is just awful. I know she did get perks - her Nepal trip, various other trips, her wedding, groceries, etc. But the fact that she and Derick only had a five day honeymoon because that’s all they could afford when Jim Bob almost certainly made more than $100,000 for their wedding is gross. 

This also doesn’t make TLC look very good, since this kind of abuse was allowed to occur basically under their watch. I get that they likely had a great deal on the Duggars because they were only negotiating with questionable businessman Jim Bob but it does suck to see how little they care about the human cost of their show. 

[hinnyfied]

Penance

For @thethreebroomsticksfic Weasley Week!

Prompt: Percy

For @lanaturnergetup and @somesunlitdays, you are two peas in a pod 😘 🫛

Read below or on AO3!

Percy twirled the last few peas around his plate, watching them roll about to avoid looking up, lest he catch his mother’s puffy red eyes and think of Fred or see the fury in Ron’s and be devoured by guilt once more.

He was no fool. He had known – even as he made the choice – that it would take a lot more than a change of heart and a show of bravery to undo three years of damage and regain his family’s trust. But it did not make it any easier to sit at the old, notched table of his childhood home, surrounded by the people who had been at the receiving end of his monstrous betrayal.

Everyone finished their meal in relative quiet, brief smalltalk breaking out here and there. Charlie and Ginny cleared the plates, ignoring their mother’s protests and insisting she stay seated. Ginny took Percy’s plate, her jaw clenching when he thanked her.

“I was thinking about checking up on Grimmauld Place tomorrow,” Harry said to Father. “See what the damage is.”

“I suppose it’s time,” he answered heavily, pulling his glasses off and massaging his temple.

“You shouldn’t go alone though,” Bill cut in. “There’s still plenty of Death Eaters unaccounted for, and they’ll be expecting you to turn up there.”

“Surely they’ve all fled the country by now,” said Ron.

“Some of them, certainly,” said Father, “Others, however–”

“Want their revenge,” Harry said darkly, stabbing the last pea on his plate frustratedly. Perhaps, like Percy, he was wondering if he’d ever be free of it all.

“Well, we’ll go with you, of course,” Hermione said, referring to herself and Ron.

Bill and Father insisted upon joining as well.

“I can come, if it’s extra wands you need,” Percy blurted, eager to make himself useful (keep himself busy more like).

“Sure, thanks,” Harry said, smiling stiffly. It wasn’t warm or enthusiastic acceptance, but it wasn’t a dismissal. That would do for now.

Ron flung a disgruntled look his best friend’s way. Percy ignored it.

“So what is this Grimmauld Place?” Percy asked. It tickled the back of his brain in that faintly familiar sort of way, though he couldn’t quite place it.

“It belonged to Sirius Black,” Father explained. “We used it as headquarters for the Order. It was breached by Death Eaters last fall, so there’s bound to be some damage to take care of and protections to reinstate.”

It came flooding back to Percy, the familiarity of the name. It had been Yaxley spouting off angrily to Thicknesse after the Ministry break in.

‘I had them. I HAD THEM RIGHT AT GRIMMAULD PLACE. The Mudblood gave me the slip, the little bitch.’

Percy looked at Hermione, guilt creeping in once more.

They made their plans to leave for London in the morning. Shortly after, everyone was off to bed.

Percy didn’t sleep well that night, his dreams plagued by phantom cries of Muggle-born wizards and witches, pleading for their families and their wands. He awoke early with a start, so early the sun had only just begun to rise.

He knew going back to sleep was out of reach, so he got up and went to his window, gazing out over the garden, where he was surprised to see a dark-haired figure sat at the edge of the pond. As though he were beckoned, Percy pulled on a jumper, slid on his shoes, and made his way outside.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Harry asked as Percy approached him.

“Not really, no.”

“Me neither.”

Percy looked out over the pond, a chorus of frogs greeting his ears as a pair of sparrows flitted just across the dark, rippling surface. He spent countless hours out here as a boy. As with all things from his childhood, it brought him both comfort and sadness to return.

“Listen, Harry,” Percy said, mustering the courage to say aloud the thought that had been pecking at him since last night’s dinner. “I understand if you don’t want me to come today – to your godfather’s home. I know Ron would prefer I stay back.”

“It’s fine.” Harry said. “It’ll be good to have more people.”

“Right, then. Good,” Percy muttered, suddenly, painfully aware that this was the first time they’d been alone together since, well, everything. The awkwardness of it all threatened to swallow him whole.

I’m sorry, he wanted to say, but the words felt woefully insufficient.

“They’ll forgive you,” Harry said without looking at him. “Ron and Ginny.”

“I don’t know. They’re…”

“Stubborn as a pair of Hippogriffs?” Harry offered with a smile – a real one this time.

“Yes. That they are,” Percy agreed.

The pair fell into silence, the sounds of the pond filling the space between them. There was so much Percy should say – that he wanted to say – but he didn’t know where to begin.

“Have you?” He asked tentatively. “Forgiven me?”

Harry nodded.

“Why? After everything,” Percy said quietly.

Harry looked at him for a moment and simply shrugged.

“You came back.”