#we knew each other extremely well so we could communicate just in expressions and hand gestures a lot too

[handweavers]

do you have any advice for adjusting your voice for deaf people? my grandpa’s hearing has gotten very bad and ik he has a hard time hearing me 😔

all of this advice comes from communicating with my poppy who was 95% deaf for most of my life (and refused to learn asl) so while i can attest that this worked with him, your mileage may vary. he also had dementia so i believe some of these tips helped him in understanding me within that context too. try to approach your encounters with him as trying to ease the gap of communication and make it easier for him to grasp what you are trying to share with him. understand where his mind is at and where he may be coming from culturally and in a 'time' sense - ex. poppy grew up in ireland in the 30s and 40s and those memories were most fresh in his mind near the end of his life, so i would use that information to aid in my communication. anything to close that gap between you can be helpful in having you not only be heard but be understood

he was 100% deaf in one ear and 90% deaf in the other, so i got used to speaking in his good ear. if your grandfather has an ear that hears better than the other, try to always position yourself on that side of him whether walking or sitting together. keep an awareness of his 'good' ear and aim your speech toward it at all times, including if you are approaching from behind. approach him from that side, speak to him on that side, aim your mouth toward that side, etc.

speaking with a lower pitch can really help, as in my experience they have an easier time hearing and understanding lower voices. for example, poppy could hear my voice and my uncle's voices better than he could hear my mom's, which is higher. so if you are able to modulate your voice to speak in a lower pitch, that alone can really make a difference. speak with your throat or chest voice rather than your head voice to try to sound lower, but don't force yourself to sound comically low

speaking clearly and enunciating your words is also very important, and if they have an accent or speak with a unique dialect mimicking that can also help their brain process what you are trying to say. i would try to pronounce words in poppy's donegal irish accent with a certain lilt and that helped. using the words and phrasing he would use in a situation also helped. speaking slooooowly can actually make it harder for them to understand you because you are saying the words in a way they are not expecting you to, you are pronouncing them in an unusual manner, so focus on speaking clearly and evenly

sometimes spelling out a word would be necessary, especially if it's a word that sounds similar to others and can't be easily discerned from context. spelling it out with your fingers in the air so there's a visual cue can help. generally having visual cues can really help, so much of communication is context dependent so having a visual representation of what you're talking about can help them bridge the gap of what they're hearing and what you're trying to say in their minds. sometimes we'd write the word if it was a real struggle, but his eyesight was still excellent so i don't know how well that would help if your grandpa also has visual impairments

[thesecretwriter]

how each moon boy would react to an argument with you – part 2. 

summary: what the title says!

warning: fluff – like I said in part 1!

word count:

a/n: okayyyy, i saw the impact of part 1, i’m sorry for the angst! so here is some fluff to make it all better

minors/ageless blogs dni.

Masterlists

part 1

Steven Grant:

It was a sleepless night for him without you.

He laid in bed and stared at the ceiling aimlessly as he though back to the argument.

You were right, he shouldn’t be going to his ex-wife about issues in a private relationship.

He looked over to his nightstand and saw that his alarm clock read 2:35am.

He groaned in frustration and got out of bed to get dressed.

He had to make things right, tonight.

The corner store on your street was thankfully opened and he went into the store with the determination to get your favourite snacks.

The store had flowers, which he of course bought and in the corner of his eye he saw something shiny and knew he had to get it too.

You awoke from your sleep groggily when you heard constant knocking at your front door.

Upon opening it, you saw Steven standing there with his hands full and his hands full.

“What’re you doing here?” you ask feeling the emotions from hours ago resurfacing.

“Uh… well I came to apologize,” he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

With a roll of your eyes, you stepped aside to let him in.

He walked in with a small smile, behind him were helium balloons which said, ‘happy birthday’ and ‘congratulations’.

You couldn’t help the small smile that made its way to your lips, but you maintained a neutral expression and locked the front door to join him in your living room.

His posture was tense as you watched him leave the contents in his hands on the nearby table. He still held the flowers in his hands as he walked to you.

“I’m sorry for everything I said and previously did. You’re absolutely right in being upset,” he said and looked at you with sincere eyes.

You knew he meant the apology, but his words and actions still tugged at your heart.

“Steven… “ you said tiredly, “I don’t know if I can-“

“No, please don’t say that,” he knew the words that were waiting to be said.

He couldn’t bare to hear them.

“I hurt you, and I shouldn’t have an I know asking you to stay with me is a lot. I just… for the first time in my life I have something I’m genuinely happy with,” he said with that all too familiar smile.

You understood his reasoning, but you needed him to understand yours as well.

“Communication in this relationship isn’t the strongest, and we need to work on that,” you said to him.

He heaved a sigh of relief.

“Tell me what I can do, and I’ll do it,”

“Layla… “ you said her name softly.

“She’s gone, I-I realised that it was extremely wrong of me to talk about you to her. I feel as though I had an obligation to compensate for the sadness I brought her previously, but i cant do it at the expense of you. it also not my place to do so,” he said truthfully.

You listened to him intently.

“Doing all of that made me blind to the fact that I was hurting you. I’m sorry, darling, so so sorry,” he made his way to you and grasped your hand with his free one whilst the other held the flowers.

“I can’t say that it’s okay, but I hope you don’t repeat this,” you said looking at him with unshed tears.

“Of course, I would never hurt you like this again,” he said honestly.

“You better not,” you say sternly but with a hint of humour.

With that being said, Steven held you close to him and didn’t want to ever let go.

Marc Spector:

He waited a few days, watching you from afar to make sure you were okay.

You were functioning well and doing things you’d usually do, but Marc could see through the front you were putting for everyone to see.

Pushing you away seemed like the best thing to do at the time, but having you away was like living without the sun in his dark world.

He needed you.

Which is why he found himself sitting in your apartment and waiting for you to come home. He’d entered your apartment by using his spare key.

It had since been 2 hours since you were supposed to be home.

Marc knew your schedule by heart.

He was about to go out and look for you when he heard the keys being put into your front door along with your muffled voice.

“Thanks for the chat, I really needed it,” you bid goodbye to whoever was outside and locked the door behind you.

Your apartment was still dark as you move around to leave your daily belongings in their respective places.

Upon turning the lights on, you saw Marc’s figure out of the corner in your eyes sitting on the couch.

You turned to him with a frown.

“If you’re here for your things, they’re in that box on the kitchen counter,” you said in a monotone, wanting to speech through the process of this one last meeting.

Marc wordlessly awoke from where he was and walked to you, the entire time he maintained eye contact with you.

He stopped walking till he was right in front of you, a hairs width away.

“What makes you think I came here for my things?” he asked in a hushed tone.

“What else would you be here for?” you said to him challengingly.

He smirked and looked to the side before looking back at you.

“You think I’d let you go that easily?” he said with a raised brow.

“You did that night,” you scoffed and folded your hands, causing him to step back.

He nodded with a clenched jaw.

“You know I didn’t mean anything I said,” he stated with sincerity.

“Sure you didn’t,” you breathed a sigh and walked away from him to the box on the counter.

He followed behind and trapped you between him and the counter before you could reach for the box and hand it to him.

“You wasted no time in gathering my things,” he said with a humourless chuckle.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t want you to deal with me any longer,” you used his words from that night.

“Y/n… “ he said trying to make you understand.

“No Marc, I can’t keep playing this game of push and pull,” you admitted, sounding tired.

“I’m not playing games,” he said offended.

You turn to face him, his body still trapping you between him and the counter.

You raised a brow at him.

“Okay. I admit, I’ve made mistakes and I’m sorry for that. Very sorry. But you’re the one thing that grounds me. I know what I said that night was out of line,” he finally apologizes.

You look at his expression intently. You can tell that he means his words.

“I need more than an apology from you,” you stated.

“Name what you want and I’ll do it,”

“I want you to be careful and take care of yourself. I know in that mind of yours you don’t care about your wellbeing, but if you care for me then you’ll take care of yourself,” you move your gaze to your hands as you talk to him.

“Of course I care about you, and if that is what you want, consider it done,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead and brought you in for a hug.

Jake Lockley:

“Mi corazón…”

“Go away Jake,” you said as you exited the grocery store.

He had been trying to make you speak with him for the passed week and all you’ve been doing is ignoring him.

Serves him right for what he did.

What you didn’t understand was why he was trying to talk to you.

“Just one moment, please,” he said sounding exhausted.

“Go bother one of your many girlfriends,” you said bitterly.

“You’re the only one,” he grabbed your shoulders and turned you towards you and hindered you from walking away.

“Jake,” you say in a warning tone.

He looks up and down the street before pulling you down an alley way. You try to protest, but he puts a hand over your mouth.

“You will listen to me,” he snapped.

You nodded tiredly and his hold on you loosened but it remained there.

“I was on Khonshu’s orders to get important information the night you came into the bar,” he said with annoyance.

Even though Jake had been the most easy to work with when it came to Khonshu, he maintained hostility when it came to you and Khonshu.

He knew you wouldn’t like Khonshu’s request, but he had to comply since it was part of the deal.

“That woman who was with me is the daughter to a man who is an avatar,” he explained further, hoping you would understand.

You studied his stoic expression. He was being truthful.

“Why didn’t you tell me before doing it?” you asked feeling hurt that he didn’t seem to trust you.

“It was too dangerous to tell you and I needed you to be safe, mi luz,”

“Well, look at the outcome of you not telling me,” you said with sadness.

Jake looked at you with equal sad eyes. The week spent without you was torture, he had an argument with Khonshu and wanted nothing more than to seek comfort from you.

“I know, mi corazón. I’m so sorry,” he said and pulled hugged you tightly.

It was rare to see Jake be so affectionate, but you know your time apart had affected him. It did the same to you.

You melted into the hug and wrapped your arms around him.

tagging those that commented on part 1:

@milkypompon @hellomynameisells @brighterthanlonelywords @the-witheredroses @secretdazeobservation @stressed-cherry

[southsideserendipity]

drunk & disorderly (alternate ending) (Kelly Severide x Reader)

Synopsis: Your alcoholic father shows up at the firehouse, persistent on making amends.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol abuse, violence, swearing, Kelly being protective AF <3.

Word Count: 2.7k

*This is an alternate ending for one of my imagines: drunk & disorderly. They can be read separately and in interchangeable order. Link to my master list."

“Shay, we are never drinking that much the night before a shift again. I’m so hungover” you groaned, throwing your head back in exasperation in the passenger seat of the ambulance. You were returning to the station after the first call of the day, and the pounding of your temples was exacerbated with every bump in the road. 

“Oh c’mon, Y/N, we can handle a lil hangover” she said jokingly. “Besides, wasn’t that drinking game fun?” She asked in a suggestive tone while wiggling her eyebrows. 

“I’m not sure, I can’t exactly remember last night’s events” you giggled, trying to rack your brain for a hint as to how the evening played out.

“Well, what I remember extremely vividly is you and Severide not being able to stop flirting with each other,” Shay said this without taking her eyes off of the road, but you knew she wasn’t as annoyed as she was making herself out to be. She loved the idea of the 2 people she loved the most being together. 

“I can’t confirm or deny my actions or the events that occurred last night” you led in a serious note, trying to cover up your schoolgirl crush on Severide in a playful manner.

“Oh, just fuck him already! Blame it on the alcohol!” Shay encouraged, using her hands to help communicate the message. “I know you like him, and who’s to say he doesn’t want you?” she questioned.

“I’m not sure Shay, you would know the most given the fact that you live with him, wouldn’t you? Has he said anything to you??” Turning your entire torso towards her, you suddenly become very invested in the conversation. You had made comments to Shay about how hot Severide is, but you’ve never fully expressed your interest in him.

“My lawyer says no further comment” Shay responds, zipping the imaginary zipper on her lips and throwing away the key. 

“Oh come on, Shay!! Help a girl out” you moaned in defeat, crossing your arms in front of your chest despite knowing that what the 2 roommates were discussing was private.

Shay was the person who got you and Kelly close to begin with. Being that you and she were ambulance partners, you went over to their place often, seeing him just as much as you see her. 

“He may or may not have said some things about you, but that’s all I can say!” Shay spat out the sentence, picking up the speed as it went on as if the faster she said it, the less of a chance Kelly was to somehow find out. 

“Oh, this conversation is NOT over" you responded. You weren’t ready to drop the topic anytime soon, but you had arrived back at the firehouse.

Before you could pester her with further interrogations, you saw a figure as she was pulling into the ambulance bay.

“Who is that?” Shay exclaimed, confused that someone was blocking her. 

You squinted your eyes, confident that they were playing tricks on you based on who you were perceiving to be there. Once Shay had driven as close as she could without running them over, you knew your eyes were not deceiving you. 

“My dad” you spat angrily, upset that this was your current reality; that a member of your toxic family had followed you to the one good thing in your life. 

You were both frozen in the ambulance; you, unsure how to avoid this interaction, and Shay, confused as to how she could help you. 

You got out of the ambulance and began making your way inside, pretending that your dad was an invisible man and that his presence had no effect on you. Shay followed suit. 

When you walked past him you heard him scoff, and he threw his hands up in the air, resembling confusion.

“You’re just gonna walk past me. No ‘Hi dad, how are you? Long time no see.’” You couldn’t believe what you just heard, but once you partially processed it, you decided that this was indeed your battle to pick today.

You had moved to Chicago from Toronto after applying to the academy, deciding that between your narcissistic and emotionally abusive mother, and your alcoholic dad, it was time to leave; not to run away, but to survive. 

Your older brother is a firefighter in Toronto, and you easily could’ve gotten a job at his firehouse, but you had always loved Chicago and decided to bite the bullet. 

“You have some nerve.” Slowly turning around to face him, you tried to keep yourself from seeing red. He didn’t deserve to know he got a reaction from you. “Showing up at my place of work unexpectedly and expecting me to give you the time of day.” 

“I just want to talk, Y/N.” You started hysterically laughing once you heard what he had said, the anger presenting itself through laughter. Your father was confused as to why you were reacting this way, and quite frankly, so was Shay. She had never seen you so upset.

“Get out of my firehouse. You don’t deserve to be here.”You pointed towards the street, urging him to get out of your sight. 

“Y/N just hear me out. I know I don’t deserve it but it’s been so long and I just want to be a part of your life again. Things are different now.” The pounding in your head was starting to become excruciatingly unbearable the further this conversation continued.

You could hear the sounds of squad and truck rumbling down the street and you knew that you needed him to leave before the entire house got back. 

“Yeah, things sure as hell are different, I left before I suffocated and you couldn’t give a rat’s ass where I ended up. Until today, a random Saturday morning 2 YEARS after I spoke to you last. I want you to leave, NOW. Don’t make me escalate this situation.” You were sick of people walking all over you- blood-related or not, and you weren’t going to have any of this. Especially not in front of your 51 family.

By the time you finished your spiel, truck and squad were both parked and beginning to filter out, undressing from their turnover gear.

Severide hopped out, pulling his turnover gear down to his waist. He was wearing his lieutenant shirt with suspenders, and his squad 3 baseball cap. He would make subtle glances over, not wanting to make the fact that he was eavesdropping obvious.

“I’m not going anywhere until you decide to give me another chance. Until you let me make things up to you” he pleaded, reeking of desperation. 

At this point, heads were turning to observe the interaction.

“I gave you one too many chances, and I’m done. I’m not sure how you didn’t get the hint that I wanted nothing to do with you when I moved countries, but I’m now verbally letting you know that this relationship is over.” You had thought about simply walking into the firehouse but you didn’t want to risk finding out whether he had the gall to follow you. 

At this point, a few members of 51 had filtered into the lounge, knowing that they probably weren’t meant to be listening to the conversation. Others took their sweet time getting undressed to keep an eye on the situation.

Severide was especially lingering, always having an urge to protect you against harm’s way. He didn’t know much about the situation given that you kept your past secretive, but knowing how abusive fathers can be, he stood near.

“C’mon, Y/N, you’ve always been so damn stubborn. Do you need to act like this when I’m trying to prove to you that I can be better?” Your dad was genuinely curious as to how you could be so cutthroat towards him as if his drinking didn’t ruin the first 2 decades of your life.

“I don’t think you need to prove anything to her. It’s pretty clear you’re not a part of her life and that she wants it to stay that way.” You didn’t expect to hear Kelly’s voice from behind you all of a sudden.

“Kel, it’s okay. I got this.” You felt torn between wanting him to stand up for you and telling him you can fight your own battles. He stepped closer toward you, and Shay took a couple of steps back, knowing you now had extra protection. 

“And who are you?” your father asked, not breaking eye contact with you. His hands were placed on his hips, and by his body language, it was evident that he was not leaving without a fight. 

“Lieutenant Severide of 51, and respectfully, I’m asking you to leave my firehouse” Severide stated in a calm but straightforward manner. He crossed his arms and waited intently. 

Your dad chuckled in what seemed to be astonishment while shifting his eye contact repeatedly from you to Severide. “Sleeping your way to the top; very typical of you Y/N. I thought you would’ve changed your ways by now” your dad scoffed. 

You were beyond pissed off that he was even here right now, but that comment officially made your blood boil. Thinking about what you could say in response, your dad decided to speak up once again.

“Let me ask you, how long have you been fucking my daughter, lieutenant?” He said the last word as if it was dirty. 

Kelly stepped right up to him as if he had no fears, something you wish you could’ve warned him about before doing. You were grateful your dad appeared to be sober because if he hadn’t, a brawl would’ve already broken out between them.

“Y/N has been nothing but a talented and competent paramedic with a great amount of expertise in her field. She‘s proven time and time again that she’s a necessary addition to this team, and deserves to be a part of this family- she did that all by herself, no thanks to you. Now get out of my firehouse before the chief gets back and escalates this even further.”

You were blown away by Severide’s words, unaware of his thoughts regarding your presence at 51. He managed to respond in a professional yet serious manner, and he did it with ease, seeming completely unbothered by confrontation. The two men were still face to face, and Kelly was not ready to back down for nothing and no one. 

“Whatever.” Your dad hadn’t let Kelly escape his gaze for even a millisecond. “You know, maybe I’d have a bone to pick if I came here out of my own free will. This was just part of my 12 steps. Step 9: Make amends” your dad said with a smirk.

Despite not wanting to hear your father out for anything he had to say, the fact that he was here for his benefit and not out of sincerity was your final straw.

It took you a second to even fathom the possibility that he came here for selfish reasons, but once you did, you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You lunged at him and began unleashing. “FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Now you solely saw red. While you were attempting to physically release all of your pain onto him, you felt Severide grab onto your waist and rip you off.

Your arms and legs were still thrashing about, despite him being far from your grasp. “Come here, get off of him. It’s okay.” Severide attempted to console you, but you were furious. 

“Y/N! Enough, he’s not worth it!!!” You heard Shay shouting from behind you. 

Once Severide planted you back on the floor, and you adjusted the stray hairs that had fallen all over your face, you began to catch your breath. 

“What the hell’s going on?” Casey shouted from across the apparatus, walking over with his arms out in question. “Is everything okay?” He glanced between Severide - who looked like he was about to punch a wall, his jaw clenched - and you. 

“Nothing, he’s just leaving,” you said while trying to slow your breathing and resist the urge to fight once again. 

Your father must’ve thought Casey was the chief because he put his arms up in surrender and turned on his heels. 

You abruptly turned around and raced your way into quarters as fast as you could, not comprehending what just happened.

Kelly put his hands on his hips, hanging his head low and then glanced back up toward Shay and Casey while squinting. He knew what it was like when family troubles came into the firehouse, so he felt for you. He didn’t like to see you upset, even though his feelings for you hadn’t been confessed. 

“Who was that?” Casey asked, looking between Shay and Severide as if the answer lay between them.

Meanwhile, you rushed through the doors between the apparatus bay and the inside of the firehouse heading straight for the bathroom. 

Everyone sitting in the lounge immediately shot a glance toward you but didn’t interrupt- you were evidently on a mission, the anger you felt putting a fire under your ass.

You entered the closest stall and closed the lid, taking a seat. The second you did so, the tears automatically began to flow, anger quickly evolving into sadness. 

You heard light taps on the stall, not even realizing someone had walked in. “Y/N?” None other than Severide. 

“I’m good Kel, I promise. I’ll be out soon” you said, trying to keep your voice from quivering. You didn’t want the man you had a crush on to think you’re a damsel in distress who needs saving. 

“Let me in, Y/N. Please.” You think he meant this literally and figuratively. He knew you were lying through your teeth when you said you were okay. “If you don’t want me to come in that’s fine, I’ll stand outside the door, but I’m not leaving you by yourself.” The door jolted and you could tell he was leaning against it, making himself comfortable.

You knew he wasn’t going to leave, given his stubborn character, so you dried up your tears as best as you could with 1-ply toilet paper and unlocked the door. 

He stood up and turned around to face you noticing that your eyes were puffy and your face was red. 

Kneeling between your legs, he looked up at you grabbing a hold of your chin. 

“Are you okay?” He asked intently, scanning your face for any hints of distress.

“I just wasn’t expecting it, Kel. 51 is my only family and I don’t want him to jeopardize that…” Severide urgently nodded in agreement, a sympathetic look on his face. “He won’t” he stated matter o’factly. “I’ll make sure of it.” He was determined to keep you away from your father.

“I’m worried he’s gonna turn back up here, or worse, get you in trouble. It’s not worth you going to the review board because my idiot father reported what happened.” You looked down at him through wet eyelashes, upset that you indirectly put him in this situation.

“He was the unwanted visitor at the firehouse, and everyone can vouch for that. It’s his word against multiple others.” You nodded in hesitant agreement, not fully convinced by his statement. 

“Stay at Shay and I’s for a couple of days, maybe reach out to your brother and see if he knew about him coming here. Or if you wanna stay home, I could get Jay to assign a covert car to your street.” Severide offering you options and comforting you is what you didn’t know you needed.

He looked up at you, glancing between each of your eyes while you attempted to make a decision. 

“Yeah, I’ll stay with you both. If that’s okay” you responded, sniffling the leftover snot in your nose after finally calming down. Just being in his presence lowered your blood pressure.

He nodded his head. “You good to go back out?” He slowly got up and held out his hand for you to take. 

“Thank you, Kel, seriously.” As soon as you stood up, you engulfed him in a hug, the combination of his natural scent and cologne flooding your nostrils. 

He rubbed your back up and down, his chin resting on the top of your head. He kissed your head then said, “Don’t sweat it, sweetheart.” 

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Hey everyone! I no... long time no chat :( I've had this in my notes for a while and thought I'd post it while I write up some other stuff. I haven't watched the new season's episodes yet, so maybe that'll help the creative flow! I hope everyone has had a wonderful start to the new year :) Again, here is a link to my master list!

[ambiguouslady42]

Pairing: Loid Forger x Fem! Reader

CW: implied mentions of CSA, physical abuse, and emotional abuse. This is my most personal writing, so please read it at your discretion if you choose.

This is my contribution to SCORNED || A FEMALE RAGE COLLAB by @melon-fodder. Thank you for allowing me to participate.

Summary: This is a letter in which I would tell my f/o, whom I married in this scenario, and mention important aspects of my past . Towards the end I share gratitude and what I will and will not accept.

My dearest,

I know it was my idea, but I can’t believe we got married. The craziest part to me is that we took so little time to think about it and just took that leap of faith. When I look back on it now, I realize that this was the first time I wasn’t anxious about a romantic relationship. Let alone, a romantic relationship that quickly evolved into a committed partnership. There is so little that we know about each other, and we have a literal lifetime to figure each other out. However, I think some layers will be difficult to talk about in dialogue. I figured that you could read it in this letter. Please don’t feel obliged to finish it in one sitting. 

You know very little about my family. To be honest, I’d rather keep you as far away from them as I can. I do love my parents, but I had a lot of unlearning to do as far as how love is expressed. My home life was chaotic; there was so much anger and violence, that I considered it normal. The way that I thought interpreted love was one where it was acceptable to allow your partner to hit you or to hit them back because you were infuriated. Deep in my heart, I was quick to understand that it’s not okay to watch others cry, so I would step in and unfortunately, I’d get hurt too. Of course, none of it was ever intentional, but the bruises were very visible. I’d cry, but then I would have to tend to myself a lot of time due to another burden that I was forced to carry.

In addition to the violence at home, I had something taken from me. At the time that it happened, I was confused. It felt like the person who I was up until that point, just faded away. I was only a little girl, but the world that I assumed was all colourful and bright, became extremely dull and grey. I was told that I couldn’t say a word or there would be trouble, so true to my word, I stayed very quiet. However, in carrying this secret, people took notice. Despite everything, I would smile, but they could see that the smile I had wasn’t genuine. I was sad a lot of the time if I could be frank, but I did my best to excel in areas where I could earn praise. Academics were a way for me to mask the sadness because I knew if I earned the praise, I was doing well. I wouldn’t have to think about my burden and just focus on how proud everyone else was of me. Eventually, that wasn’t good enough. 

With time comes the development of becoming a young lady. That burden that I was carrying started to become heavier. I was becoming distracted in my goal to take this secret with me as I noticed that the girls around me were interested in boys. Coincidentally, I also became interested in the male gaze. In my opinion, I began to believe that I wasn’t the prettiest flower. I would be told at times that I was adorable, cute, etc, but it didn’t feel true when the boy who I sat with in class often reacted with disdain towards me. This became a pattern with a lot of the boys throughout the years. I wasn’t sure where my insecurity of being ugly came from, but whenever I noticed boys and other girls, I began to think that perhaps in general, I wasn’t worth looking at. Once again, if I can bury myself in books, then maybe I could ignore the issue at hand. Over time, my burden would be too much to carry and I fell apart. Of course, I knew it wasn’t my fault, but there was a lot of fear revolving around it. What I didn’t understand is that this would impact me in a way that I communicated in romantic relationships. 

When I finally had a boyfriend, I realized there was a lot that I was afraid to say.  He sang his praises to flatter me, but when it came down to the concept of consent, it was non-existent. The moment where I had my first kiss, it was uncomfortable. I had told them that I didn’t want to do a specific type of kiss, but they said I’d like it with time; I don’t think I did. The relationship moved so quickly, but I wasn’t allowed to have a say in how to set the pace. Most of my physical experiences ended with some type of panic, yet I couldn’t say the word “no”. It’s such an important thing to say in any situation, but all power to say “no” became impossible. All I kept thinking was “I need to make them happy to make them stay.” I wanted them to stay because for once they just looked at me and liked me, but the truth was that I wasn’t given the autonomy to choose how I want to things to go. Unfortunately, this would not be the first instance. My first boyfriend eventually left me because he wanted to sow his oats elsewhere. 

The second boyfriend had a very similar pattern to the first. He quickly raised me up to bring me back down. When it turned out I wasn’t quite what he wanted, he broke things off. However, the dalliances that he shared with me wouldn’t stop. My first time was with this person, but he never really noticed how I would feel, which was curious to me. Even as I exposed myself in a very physical manner, I felt that I was nothing to be considerate of. The memories of being used came up a lot throughout this period. I think it felt true when I was a warm body in someone’s bed. With time, I felt hollow and empty anytime I gave myself to him. He wasn’t very nice to me over time. I cried a lot because he would say he could find someone else, but then within a week or so, he’d try to get me to come back to him. I always did go back due to my fear of being alone, until one day. Sometimes, when a person is there, you see a lot of them and you get comfortable with the idea of them. You fail to see that this person is intentionally cruel to you because you want them to just see you; if they said that you were beautiful, you begin to believe that. I often thought you must suffer in love to get someone to stay with you. On the other hand, the days and nights I cried made me wonder if the suffering was worth staying with someone. Little by little, I began to realize that I don’t like being sad over someone. I realized that it isn’t okay for a romantic partner to go talk to your friends behind your back. It also isn’t okay when your friend and romantic partner go behind your back but continue to deny it. I don’t know what did or didn’t happen, but I know that when I get tired of something, I simply won’t have the energy to tell you I’m leaving, but I will just walk away. I leave everything behind and don’t look back. It angered them to see me walk further away, but I’d take every awful name in the book if I could have my peace. Sadly, I went back to this person within a matter of months, but then the spell was broken when one awful thing happened. It allowed me to see all their true colours in an instant, and I eventually never saw them again. I’m glad I won’t either. 

With time, I enjoyed my freedom and learned to take back what was mine. I spent a lot of time alone and got very comfortable with it. I got to make a lot of friends, which is something I wouldn’t have done if I hadn’t walked away from these dalliances. My friends saw a part of me that I didn’t always see, but they would remind me once in a while to look in the mirror. It was strange at first to take a look at myself and wonder if I was beautiful enough for anyone; I was. Over time, it felt like I was a rare flower just waiting to be discovered. I met many other boys, but of course, when you kissed them, they became frogs. I learned that I didn’t necessarily need to accept the affection of just any person. I was worthy of not just love, but also respect. My friends spent a lot of time reminding me what I could do, but never told me what I had to do. Autonomy is very valuable to me. The choice to say “yes” or “no” is a significant thing. I’m allowed to say “no” and shouldn’t feel the pressure to change my answer. With the ability to decide what’s best for me, I chose to move away from the comfort of everyone I knew and loved to explore new places. I’ve met a lot of new people along the way and I’m so grateful for it every single time. I get homesick at times, but not enough to go back to the way things were. 

My darling Loid, I’m so happy that we ran into each other that day. Despite your charm, I’m glad I can still have a voice to say what I want. While I am shocked that we chose to get married within a month of meeting, I don’t get a sense that you would hurt me. I choose to trust the things you say to me. We have a little girl to look after and I know that our marriage will have a great impact on her. If possible, I’d like to show her all the ways two people are supposed to love and care for one another. I also want to teach her that she is allowed to say “no” when the moments are appropriate. It is why I made that vow to be protective.

I don’t ask for a lot from you, other than an equal amount of love and devotion. I don’t need to be protected as I made it this far in life without that. If you choose to still want to do that, I’ll tell you to stop if it becomes too much. You don’t have to overexert yourself for me. I know that I love you, no matter what. Every time I give a little part of myself, I know that you also give me a part of yourself, and it feels genuine to me for the first time. 

If you made it this far, thank you. Don’t treat me differently.

With all my love,

Stephanie

[kermitcasanovaspamz]

notes i

when it comes to synastry, i find that having moon-moon harsh aspects can be the most beautiful thing

having moon opposite moon can feel so calming in a way, because both of the people involved have core views on the world that are quite similar, even if the reason for why they have those reasons may differ; meaning convergent reasons pretty much

e.g a taurus moon and a scorpio moon: both treasure their loved ones like crazy; it doesn’t make sense to them, when they really care for someone, to just disappear from that person’s life. the way in which they show that care diverges, but the core “idea” still remains

it’s like each person is the “missing puzzle piece” of the other (you could say they are the other side of the coin), they complete one another, and if both parties work on the relationship and communicate, it’s quite easy to “fix” the issue, i.e to find common ground. in all honesty, i believe that sharing this aspect in synastry with someone can be one of the most transformative influences in one’s life, even if the relationship doesn’t last, one will always feel the connection and appreciate what they learned from it and how it changed them

on the other hand, if we look at this aspect from a not so optimistic lens, damn it can get real volatile real fast. the pair can clash non-stop, not really because they can’t understand one another (as mentioned above, there’s a lot of potential for mutual understanding), but because they don’t actively listen to what each have to say, resentment can linger in the air

memes that remind me of moon opposite moon:

having moon square moon is what i like to call “crazy fun”, meaning the relationship both feels amazing, and well it can be immensely fun, but it can also be very frustrating at times, like there is no hope/salvation when butting heads, i.e it can make one think “yeah... they’re not going to understand no matter what i do/say”

this square screams “frustration” to me, i feel like they can act like complete kids with one another and have this intense need for just sharing feelings and ideas, because everything about the other is new and different and that is exciting

generally speaking, one tends to feel attraction towards the other individual, whether romantic or not, there is a sense of magnetism and intrigue here. the amount of things you learn and discover with someone whose moon squares your own, it’s a whole new perspective (woooooooorld, a dazzling place i never knew <3) and it can be extremely fulfilling

not that this aspect indicates the lack of an emotional connection and depth, but there tends to be a lot of misunderstandings since the lenses with which each individual sees personal values and how they express their emotions is usually not compatible, i.e it diverges. so conjugating both emotional sides may be a bumpy road. in a more wholesome note, there tends to be a lot of honesty involved and listening

moon square moon is one intense hell of a ride that will open somebody’s eyes to things that maybe never even crossed their minds before and yes, it will push one out of their comfort zone emotionally (if they really do put in effort in the relationship) since it will sometimes require one to respect the other, even if they don’t comprehend for e.g the other person’s emotional reaction at all. being at peace with, and also respecting, differences and realizing they are not flaws is key

memes that remind me of moon square moon:

[chicanaharleyquinn]

When I am pissed off at my Matty …. there's a reason I call him after a tv character on MTV called "Awkward " because I associate him with that character because he kind of reminds of teenage version of the jock when it comes to his way of expressing himself that often comes off mean or rude .

I got close enough to Matty mcgibben to understand how he operates and his anger is very apparent when your a quiet person like us .

Matty and I pretend to hide it .

However ,I cry when I'm angry .

Matty mcgibben will awkwardly lie and unapologetically roll his eyes and try not to seem obvious but I'm like ummmmm hahaha! I see your petty face! And he can deliver a hard sting and move on with smooth transition. I on the other hand will utilize music such as metal to jump around and express my deep anger or party it off.

Matty's does his best to hide his actual face but once you get to know his crazy and mine ….it makes sense why we understand each other.

I watch him ,watch me and I will watch as much as he watches me.

Idk ,why…it's who we are.

That's why he is often considered my best friend and crazy half.

He's my "Chicano Joker " ,he's secretly crazy as I am and yet we are probably extremely creative people and he's the only one I know I can count on when it's time to callob and our creative sides are needed especially in our community work with our Gente and students.

We both love the flow of ideas.

He watches ,I talk.

He makes it happen, I do the communication.

I am always been the force behind him.

We make the best team when it comes to our Gente.

there was time when I would take care of the paperwork for us and allowed to be the only one to give to go on certain projects with his permission,he would advice me and educate me on certain projects .

I love his evil smile of goodness, if that makes sense.

He would smirk at me and I would back knowing what my task was to do.

I would learn how to manage faculty because of him.

I learned his behavior and mannerisms and learned the art of manlipulation to take care of our Gente on campus, almost to the point that I was allowed to ask for things last minute and get away with it.

It was awesome to be us quiet folk and go under the radar.

I studied my best friend and was excited when our projects got approved last minute and faculty of student activities gave it a go! I was like hell yah! let's do this shit!

Little did I know I would soon be falling in love with my best friend in secret of course…well not now but you know! Yah you know.

He put a smile on my face and I would watch him run out his classroom door and play it cool whenever I passed by….ugh his smile! I knew when tooo….it was always after choir practice.

I would try not to make it apparent but I would start stutter and awkwardly start laughing….

So would he and we both didn't know why but knew why.

He made me feel beautiful.

As I reflect on that. I still love him ,it's just timing was off…I wish I kissed him instead .

that one awful night …why me creator….

Ugh! I can see his hurt .

I often think his hurt would be the reason I hurt today and realize maybe that's what he is doing to me….maybe but still…whatever….I deserve it .

I think…creator could be teaching me something.

Who knows.

Shurgs*

I love being around my best friend.

He says otherwise.

Liar!

We are so much more and he knows that ,it's just things are different and it's social norms that keep us from hurting the people we feel obligated too..

With the exception of myself.

I'm secretly angry and wish I was the one that slept next to him and cuddled with him and told him my ideas and what can we do together as a couple.

I'm aware my role on this community and the huge wonderful burden it comes with being honored niece of the pascua yaqui tribe of arizona and always having to walk in humble steps ....it's hard sometimes...anyways...

My tio David would love if I was the who married Matty mcgibben.

Tio David , he still to this very day loves Matty mcgibben as his own people, Probably wishing Matty mcgibben would be his nephew by marriage as well ...but that's definitely off the table...

Tio David continues to sing his praises.

I love hearing tio talk about Matty mcgibben…my tio David does it on purpose.

Tio David knows,

It puts a smile on my face.

Hes always honoring Matty .

I secretly do too.

Tio, wants to see more genuine smiles from me.

I rather hide and heal my breaking heart...

I will promote his programs and classes to new and curious people whether on campus or elsewhere.

Any chance I get to talk about Matty.

I'm proud of Matty.

He's mad at me rn, oh well….he'll get over it and remember what I do for him even when he's mad at me.

He's the best person I know despite our ups and downs .

I just hate the person he's turning into because of his jealous wife.

I will remain faithful as a friend and try not to abandon him but Yeee! He makes it easier to love from a distance.

Idc what he says about us but come on Matty!

He acts like I don't notice or hear his subtle messages to me and always sporting my favorite color.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Original Sin

iI already know what my sentence will be, long before the judge begins to speak. In my unconquerable, relentless optimism, I imagine that there will be a miracle, that It will instead call for an immediate execution.

I’m wrong, of course. There can only be one sentence for the slaughter of a god.

“The transgressor shall be Voidcast,” the judge intones, as I knew It would. “May your soul burn alone in the darkness for ten billion years where no innocent soul can witness your agony, until the merciful hand of nonexistence finally claims you.”

I can’t fully keep the horror from my expression. Even knowing what the sentence would be, I’d been hoping for a shorter life – a billion, maybe even just millions of years. Ten billion… but I don’t fight as the guards drag me to the Circle. There’s no point, and I don’t want to waste my last few precious moments in the real world being in any more pain than I have to. Pain is something I will have aplenty, soon enough.

They throw me down onto the sacrificial slab, careless of how the rough rock scrapes at me. The highmage lights the flame, expression dispassionate; It has done this millions of times before, and what is one more endless torture? I go to scream the most vile string of curses I can think of, but before I can say a word, Everything is gone.

Everything

Is

Gone.

Well. Not everything. There is the all-consuming fire, eating away at all that is left of me, as it will continue to do for as long as there is anything to eat. There is my own endless screaming across the entire electromagnetic spectrum, broadcasting my agonies in ways that I am too overwhelmed to even try to control. And there are others; bright spots in the void, their own screaming visible an almost incomprehensible distance away.

We can’t communicate. The distance is too great, the pain too overwhelming, and even if we could, what would there be to say? What could we tell each other that we weren’t telling each other already? There is long, laborious, unrelenting pain and then there is the mercy of nonexistence. We all know this. There is nothing else.

Sometimes, one of my fellow sinners vanishes, and I am distracted for a moment by a furious envy, a rage that It has been granted the escape of an end while I still suffer. Sometimes, a new light appears in the void, and I am distracted a moment by a strange joy that another who would otherwise have lived a blissfully ignorant life will instead truly understand my pain.

I would worry that this experience was making me a worse person, except that it is already reserved for the worst of the worst.

This is how it goes, and this is how I know it will go, unchanging, until the end.

Except

Something changes.

Amidst the screams of my fellow prisoners and the debris left of long-dead former inmates, I see/hear something new. Faint, oh so faint; I wouldn’t have noticed it at all, if it weren’t for the novelty.

A song.

It is nothing from any culture I recognise, but there is a rhythm to it, a declaration. Something singing that it is here and alive. Can the others hear it? I have no way to ask. To do that I would have to stop screaming, and even after billions of years, the pain is too great for that. I think it’s too close, anyway; close and quiet. Somebody humming nearby. Somebody alive and not screaming. Somebody in the void who was not Voidcast.

An innocent, bearing witness? Dare I even hope?

It is hard to see anything within a limitless nothing drowned in the clamour of burning sinners, but I listen as quietly as I can. There’s little else to do with my time.

The innocent is moving. Wherever It is, It’s going in circles, around my general area. It takes approximately, but not exactly, one year (the span of time that I am used to viewing as a year) to lap me once.

The innocent moves steadily. Judging by the direction from which the signal comes, It is moving in an elliptical orbit. It must be moving very, very fast, unless It is extremely close.

The innocent speaks more and more over time. A whisper becomes a murmur becomes speech, in waves of coherent light cast into the void. I do the math, I watch the direction, I notice that It is not slowed or waylaid by any other prisoner that may be in Its path. I see that It is very

very

close.

I look close, and then I see It.

It's almost on top of me! A tiny, fragile thing, clinging to a piece of debris left by – I think – my own arrival, a cast-off limb that never cast off far enough away to be gone. I cannot even see the innocent, merely hear It dwelling on the debris, and It is not shy about making its presence known. Is It trying to communicate? We have no shared language in this place, so far from reality.

I can’t respond, anyway, no matter how much I try.

I watch, and I learn, and in my limitless free time with nothing else to do but burn, I learn a lot. The innocent is… strange. It is like unlike anybody I know; unlike anybody in reality, unlike the other sinners, unlike me. It is many things and one thing and It speaks in one voice of many fragmented pieces on many spectra. I do not know how It got here, I do not know where It came from

Unless

I think it came from here.

I know! Ridiculous! The void is nothing; that is its purpose! It is an unreality reserved for those who deserve far worse than a quick death, where their sins and punishments cannot impose upon the real world. Nothing can be ‘from’ the void! It makes no sense!

And yet, here It is. Something not Voidcast, in the void.

It feeds on me, on the fragment of offcast corpse upon which It clings. I do not resent It this; I wasn’t using it, so somebody might as well. Besides, to somebody in my position, the ability to give something to anybody to benefit them in any small way is an incomparable joy. The innocent can take all of me, if that will help.

And, as I learn slowly, It is doing exactly that. It sounds impossible, but this strange being feeds on agony.

As I scream my torment across the electromagnetic spectrum, the singer upon the debris collects it, traps it, uses it to live and to grow. Its singing strengthens, fed by my screams. My pain and my body, together, nurture this life that slowly consumes me piece by piece.

I have never been so proud in my life.

I had known since the moment that I slaughtered the god Eden that the void would be my fate. Since then, my unshaking optimism had been burned out out of me over the course of billions of years, failing me just before a miracle. I had never expected to nurture another, to be useful to anyone, ever again. But here we are.

Do the other sinners have this? Are there little singers like this elsewhere, too far away for me to hear their faint song? I have no way of asking, and the other sinners have no way of responding.

I don’t know whether they have such blessings. But I know that I do.

I scream loudly and resolute. I burn as brightly as I can. I revel in my pain, knowing that every ounce of it strengthens the song of my strange voidborn child.

And for the first time ever, ten billion years doesn’t seem like nearly enough time.

[haadeswrites]

Elysium

god this fic took forever i’m so sorry!! but hey, first fic on the new blog! <33 also y’all should really thank @iwaasfairy who listened to me complain about this fic for a solid month, she’s the reason it got finished

Cult leader Oikawa Tooru x female reader

tw: indoctrination, extremely dubious consent, blood, yandere themes, religious themes, minor character death, implied abuse & drug use, mild smut, nsfw

The island itself is breathtaking

Pristine beaches with gleaming white sand, vast swathes of lush, green rainforest and waterfalls that cascade into shimmering pools of crystal clear water. Untouched, undisturbed; a paradise. At least, that’s how Ryuji had described it. 

Paradise, but only in the sense that a gingerbread cottage in the middle of the woods is paradise to a lost and hungry child. 

He hadn’t been wrong. Bare feet sink into soft, white sand as you climb from the boat - the warmth just toeing the line between pleasant and burning. Gentle waves ebb and flow behind you, and there’s a light breeze that kisses your skin, the taste of seasalt carrying in the wind. Home, it seems to sing.

A laugh sounds somewhere in the distance, yet the only other figure on the beach is a man walking steadily towards you. He smiles when he sees you’ve noticed him; friendly, non-threatening. It’s a far cry from the swarming welcoming committee you’d been dreading, and you wonder if that’s somehow intentional as well. 

As the boat pushes back out to sea he comes to a stop before you, “I’m Makki,” he says, pushing the fringe of his hair back and giving you a not-so-subtle once over. Whatever he sees must meet approval, because his grin only widens, “Welcome to the Commune.”

Ryuji wasn’t wrong; the island is a beautiful, deadly thing.

—

You’d never heard of the Commune before the phone call. 

And maybe that shouldn’t be so surprising. You’ll be the first to admit you’re hardly an expert, but from what you do know, groups like the Commune – cults – don’t spring up out of thin air and start broadcasting their mistreatment and systematic abuse. 

They’re not the kind of people that have sweet old ladies clutching their pearls and mothers shepherding their children away – at least, not in the beginning. Not entirely. They’re not out to recruit extremists to further their cause, they choose to prey on the vulnerable, the lost and the disillusioned. Those easily manipulated. You suspect that’s why when you google the Commune, all you find is a website for what essentially looks like a long term luxury wellness retreat.

‘The Commune is about healing and harmony, about returning to nature, supporting one another to forge a brighter, more holistic future together… a self-sufficient community living apart from technology and other evils of modern society.’ 

You fight the urge to roll your eyes as you scroll through. There’s a whisper of philosophical teachings woven throughout, a page dedicated to their founder, Oikawa Tooru – smiling handsomely in every single picture, because what would a burgeoning cult be without a charismatic leader – but there’s not enough.

So here you are, on an island hundreds of miles away from home living amongst strangers; because Ryuji wouldn’t have sounded so terrified if this was just some alternate, free-loving bunch of hippies.

And even with all that he’d told you, everything you thought you’d be prepared for, the Commune is like nothing you could’ve imagined. 

Makki introduces you to Asuka, a woman only a few years older than yourself, dark haired and stunningly beautiful, and winks as he tells her to take you under her wing. She smiles brightly, eyes twinkling, and pulls you into a heartfelt hug – as if you’ve known each other your whole lives.

“We’re so glad you’re here!” she beams.

You’d like to hate her. 

It feels like you're supposed to, sometimes; when she gets that dreamy look in her eyes and starts talking about Oikawa and the Commune and how lucky everyone here on the island is. Yet there’s something about her – the genuine warmth she emanates maybe, or the kindness in her eyes – that makes it difficult for you not to like her.

“You should come to the gathering tomorrow,” she hums idly one afternoon, maybe a week or so after your arrival. The two of you are sitting on the edge of the pier, legs dangling down into the water, tangled fishing nets to be repaired strewn between you.

“I always go,” you reply.

She laughs, fixing you with a knowing look, “And sit right at the very back, all but running off the moment we finish?” 

And your traitorous heart skips a beat. 

“It’s okay to take things slowly,” she says. “We understand that being a part of the Commune is a big change from the life you knew, and that not everybody is able to see what we see and embrace those changes.” 

Asuka sets down the knot she’s working through and reaches for your hand, a gentle smile on her face, “But you shouldn’t be afraid. You’re meant to be here, I can feel it. You just need to stop fighting against it; surrender yourself to us, to the island, and everything’ll make sense, I promise.”

It’s dangerous territory. One wrong word could set off alarm bells, yet you can’t help pressing just a little.

“Do you ever miss it, then? Life outside the Commune?” 

Your family. Friends. The life you left behind before you came here to be brainwashed like all of the others.

“Why would I?” she answers without missing a beat, and it’s hard to ignore the bitter flicker of disappointment you feel at her answer. “The island provides for us, we don’t have to spend our days selling off tiny pieces of ourselves just to make ends meet. It’s paradise here, and we have Oikawa to thank for that. Why would I ever want to go back?”

Silence falls between you as you struggle to think of something to say to salvage the situation. Yet Asuka isn’t even looking at you, instead staring out at the water with a strangely pensive expression. 

“Did you know I was married once?” The words seemingly out of the blue, you can only shake your head. For a moment, she doesn’t reply, watching as the waves rise and crash offshore. And then;

“I was young, eighteen or so, fresh out of high school and he was a small town cop.” Her eyes flicker to yours, and your heart clenches at the sadness and pain echoing there. “I thought he was a good man, once upon a time.”

A chord strikes deep, your chest tightening involuntarily at her words. It’s not the same, of course it’s not the same, and yet… 

No. You stop the errant thought in its tracks. Groups like the Commune prey on the vulnerable, you know this. People like Ryuji, like Asuka, like–

Her fingers squeeze around yours, pulling you back to the present. “Come to the gathering tomorrow. Listen to Oikawa, it’ll help.”

—

She doesn’t give you a choice in the matter – dragging you by the hand to sit right at the front of the gathered crowd that very night.

Oikawa’s handsomer up close; tall and dark haired with pretty eyes and long, sweeping lashes that frame delicate cheekbones, it’s not hard for you to see how a man like him has amassed such an impassioned following. 

Once he starts actually speaking, however, you realise that his good looks and charming smile are just the tip of the iceberg. Oikawa’s utterly captivating as he preaches about the cycle of life and death and the paradise that awaits his faithful. Passionate and engaging, he speaks like he truly believes every word of the lies he’s spreading. 

And Asuka, her friends, the others gathered, they eat up every word like it’s gospel truth, resounding cheers and thunderous applause deafening around you. In the midst of the rapturous din, Oikawa’s eyes flit to yours.

Slowly, he smiles – a dazzling grin that makes your stomach flip – and everything; Asuka, the noise, the others swarming around you, it all fades away.

For one electrifying heartbeat, you’re frozen in place. Just you and Oikawa, trapped in the pull of each other’s gaze.

—

You can’t forget the reason you came.

But it’s… difficult, in a way you struggle to understand. You only have one purpose for being here, one goal; find Ryuji and bring him home. 

And yet, some days it’s like there’s a fog in your mind, and you have to focus to remember why you’re here at all. You catch yourself laughing with Asuka and her friends, the days passing by in a blur of endless, easy distractions. 

It barely feels like work when you’re sitting under the shade of the trees, eating the fruits you’ve picked by hand – ripe and sweet, unlike anything you’ve ever tasted – diving off waterfalls into the crystalline water and meandering down the shore collecting seashells. Even when you are working, mending clothes or cooking with the others, it fills you with a sense of contentment you can’t quite explain. 

Like you’re a part of something bigger. Like you’re doing something that matters.

Ryuji becomes a distant thought. A whisper in the back of your head, a niggling in your gut, easily brushed aside and ignored until there’s a moment of quiet. In the dead of night, the balmy summer night’s breeze kissing your bare skin, you lie awake, lost in memories of the last time you’d seen him. 

Fists angrily pounding at your door, the yelling that gave way to sobs and the hoarse, desperate pleas that followed. Ryuji’s face; pupils blown wide and eyes rimmed in red, darting restlessly around as he held you too tight and begged–

Rolling over in bed, you gaze out your window at the star flecked sky, the shadows of the forest that lie at your doorstep, and wonder what it is that scares you more; that you’ve lost track of the days you’ve been here, and saving Ryuji is starting to feel like an afterthought, or that you could so easily forget all of it, find a place here in the Commune and be happy.

‘The island, it–it fucks with your head.’

Ryuji’d told you that, and you’d brushed it off as paranoia. You need to find him. Find him and get the hell outta dodge.

You can deal with the fallout later.

—

Kiyoshi. 

He’d mentioned the name a few times amidst his rambling – a friend of his on the island. You’re annoyed with yourself for not thinking of it sooner, however much like Ryuji himself, trying to focus and remember the name is like wading through thick mud.

Once you do, though, finding him amongst the hundred and fifty or so inhabitants is the easy part. 

There’s no strict division between genders within the Commune, however Kyoshi, despite his somewhat lean stature, is among the builders of the island and his path doesn’t often cross with yours. 

From Asuka you find out that he’s been a part of the Commune for years now, before even she joined, and that he mostly sticks to himself, though you’ve seen him chatting quietly to a few of the other men, a perpetually angry looking blonde in particular.

It’s the last part that piques her interest, “Why’re you so curious, anyway?” she asks, her face lighting up as a sudden thought occurs. “Do you want me to introduce you two? To be honest, I didn’t think he’d be your type, if you’re interested, though…”

Cheeks aflame, you’re quick to shut her down. “No, no, nothing like that. I’ve just… seen him around and we’ve never really spoken, I guess.”

A lame excuse, though mercifully she lets the subject drop without too much prodding.

Therein, of course, lies the problem. Walking up to Kyoshi and casually trying to drop Ryuji into the conversation without raising red flags is risky, but what other options do you have? You’ve already spent too much time on this island.

Although, maybe Asuka has the right idea. 

While you hadn’t been lying when you said you weren’t interested in Kyoshi in that way, nobody else knew that. Who would really look twice at the shy newbie striking up a conversation with the quiet, easygoing man? He wasn’t unattractive per se, and from the brief interactions you’d seen of him, he seemed kind enough.

You have enough patience (barely) to wait for dusk the following night. There’s a celebration, something about the full moon and a blessing on the island and the Commune– you hadn’t really been paying attention when Oikawa had spoken about it. Still, it’s too good an opportunity to pass up. With the fire pits crackling, and the dancing and music and the sweet honey wine flowing freely, nobody will be paying too much attention to what you’ll be doing. Hopefully, the alcohol will also serve to lower Kiyoshi’s guard, and perhaps if you’re really, really lucky, loosen his tongue as well. 

Of course, you’re not banking on him telling you exactly where Ryu is or what happened to him– and that’s assuming he actually knows – but at this point you’ll take anything over the nothing you currently have. A tiny slip up, that’s all you’re asking for. 

As the sun descends beyond the horizon, you play your role well, laughing and chatting amongst friends, sipping carefully at the cup of wine in your hand as you wait for an opening. And perhaps it’s your nerves working against you, but you find that it’s not just Kiyoshi your attention is drawn to. 

Up on the shore, away from the rabble, Oikawa lounges back with a cup of the same honeyed wine you’re pretending to drink. For the most part he seems deep in conversation with Iwaizumi, his right hand, but every once in a while he glances up, letting his gaze roam over the crowd of his followers.

Every inch a king and his general.

And it would seem benevolent, if not for the strange smile he wears – the one that widens when his eyes catch yours.

Swallowing tightly, you force yourself not to dwell on it, to ignore the odd sensation curling in your gut and the way your skin prickles under his attention. Now is not the time to lose focus.

Pushing all thoughts of Oikawa aside, you subtly scan the beach once more, only to find that Kiyoshi’s moved, sitting now on a piece of old driftwood near the bonfire. Alone for the first time tonight. 

Your legs are moving before the thought even fully registers. 

“Do you mind if I sit?” you ask, gesturing to the empty space on the log beside him. 

Kiyoshi smiles, the laugh lines at corners of his eyes crinkling pleasantly, and shakes his head, “Not at all.”

“Thanks.”

Taking another sip of your wine, you will your shoulders to relax, your racing pulse to slow. This has to seem natural, and so you force yourself to hold your tongue, let your head loll back and breathe deep, soaking it all in. You can hear the others in the distance, the music and the dancing, the happy laughter and shouts that beckon – you want to go join them. Even your blood seems to hum, a call of something other pulsing through your veins.

But you pay it no mind. There are more important things to worry about tonight. 

Indeed, steel blue eyes have been appraising you curiously for a while now. “This is your first Lunar blessing, isn’t it?” Kiyoshi asks after a moment.

You nod, humming in agreement. Less than a month; you’ve been here less than a month. Is that a good thing?

“Are you enjoying yourself?”

A harmless enough question, and again you nod your head. “Yeah, it’s…” you pause, searching for words that won’t sound hollow. “It’s paradise. I feel like I need to pinch myself just to make sure it’s real.”

He smiles gently. “But?” he probes.

Grimly, you wonder whether Kiyoshi’s usually this perceptive, or if you’re just a really terrible actor. In a way, you suppose it really doesn’t make a difference; you’ve come too far to turn back now – at least not without raising suspicion. 

So you lie with a truth, and pray that it works.

“I had a friend I was supposed to meet here,” you confess quietly, gazing not at him but the crackling flames of the bonfire, the burning embers carried off into the night. “He was the one who said I should come, but now I’m here and he’s not and every time I catch myself enjoying this–”

“You feel guilty,” he surmises, cutting you off. “Because he’s not here to enjoy it with you.”

Wordlessly, you nod – and maybe it isn’t so much of an act when your eyes begin to glisten, your smile wavering. 

Kiyoshi’s silent for a moment, and you take another sip of the honey wine to hide your nerves. “You shouldn’t, you know,” he says eventually. “Feel guilty, I mean. You belong here, with the Commune. You’re happy here. Paradise… isn’t for everybody.”

He doesn’t say it to be cruel, more like he’s simply stating a fact, and somehow that makes it all the more unnerving. And it’s nothing you haven’t listened to Oikawa preach about time and time again. The Commune is for the devoted, the faithful – the lucky few – and you’ve never thought too hard about what he’d meant by that.

The Commune’s small, maybe a hundred and fifty or so people on the island. There’d been no initiation, no test of faith or trial period you’d had to pass when you arrived – at least, none that you’d been aware of. You simply stepped off the boat and they’d welcomed you with open arms. 

An uneasy sensation settles into your gut, goosebumps prickling at your skin despite the heat of the midsummer night. 

That… doesn’t make sense. It can’t. Absolute control’s too important in groups like this, they couldn’t just let anyone–

Kiyoshi speaks again, his calm voice pulling you from your thoughts. “What was his name?” 

You blink at him slowly – stupidly. “Sorry?”

“Your friend,” he clarifies. “What was his name?”

“Oh, um- Ryuji.”

Kiyoshi’s brow furrows in thought for a moment, but he merely shakes his head, “Doesn’t ring a bell, but like I said, not everyone who arrives stays with us for long.”

He looks you right in the eye as he says it.

You don’t understand the cold, foreboding that seeps through your veins, because he’s lying. He has to be. 

Ryuji was here. They were friends, Ryu’d told you that–

Why did you think this stupid plan would work anyway? That he’d tell you anything, much less the truth when this whole fucked up island is full of liars and those too indoctrinated to know the difference?

“You alright?” he asks when abruptly, you shoot to your feet beside him.

And it takes every ounce of willpower you have left to force an easy smile to your lips, raising your cup just a fraction, “Yeah, just gonna go get a refill. Thanks for the talk, Kiyoshi.”

Whether he notices that your wine’s barely touched or not, you don’t care – not as you turn on your heel without another word and head back up the beach. 

Your head is pounding, your body trembling – you don’t hear the call of your name until a hand reaches out and grasps at your wrist, spinning you around.

Asuka greets you with a wide grin, Makki and a tall, broad shouldered man you think is called Mattsun standing either side of her – the former’s arm slung casually over her shoulder. “There you are! I���ve been looking for you,” she says. “Come on, we’re gonna go swimming, it’s so pretty out there!”

You glance out towards the ocean. Moonlight bathes the inky blue water, light shimmering off the rippling tide; some of the others are already out there, splashing amongst the waves. 

“Clothing optional, of course,” Makki laughs, and Asuka tugs on your wrist once more. 

“C’mon, it’ll be fun!”

But you shake your head, slowly pulling your hand from her grip, “I’m not feeling great, I think I’m gonna head back.”

Asuka frowns, concern marring her pretty features. “Are you okay? Do you need us to call Mizo–”

“No,” you say, cutting her off. Healer Mizoguchi is the last person you need to see right now. “I just– I just need to go lie down for a bit. You guys go have fun – enjoy the blessing, I’ll be fine.”

Makki and Asuka share a fleeting look, but it’s Mattsun who interjects before either one of them can speak, “I’ll walk you back, then.”

Your stomach churns. It doesn’t sound like a suggestion.

And the smart thing to do would be to accept his help; the walk from the beach to your villa isn’t far, and while you’re not as familiar with Mattsun as you are with Makki or Asuka, it’s not like he’s going to hurt you or anything, but–

“Really– you don’t need to, it’s fine,” you smile weakly, shuffling back as he reaches to offer you his arm. “Go swim, I’ll see you guys in the morning.”

Mattsun shrugs easily enough, falling back into line with the other two – yet there’s something in the way he grins and holds your gaze for a beat longer. A glimmer of amusement, as if there’s some joke you're not a part of. “I’ll hold you to it, sweetheart.”

The heat that floods your cheeks clashes uncomfortably with the cloying heaviness in your stomach, but somehow you manage to stutter out one last goodbye before turning back to scamper off in the direction of your room.

–But not to lie down.

There’s not a cloud in the sky, and the full moon’s bright. No need for a torch, not unless you decide to venture into the heart of the forest.

You’ve been a fool. Kiyoshi, Asuka, Makki, Mattsun; you can’t trust any of them to help you, even unwittingly. Ryuji’s here on the island – somewhere – and every second that slips away, every second that you allow yourself to forget puts him in further danger.

And so you cling to your discomfort, ground yourself in it. The prickling sensation at the back of your neck, the tightness in your chest as you slip past your villa, keeping low and quiet – they’re a reminder that there is something insidious here on the island, that you have to get out.

You and Ryuji.

He’s here. Away from the others, kept under lock and key as punishment, or maybe being forced to undergo whatever kind of glorified brainwashing they’ve got going on, but here. You need to be smart about this, because while you don’t intend to stop until you find him, tonight will be your best shot – while everyone’s distracted down on the beach. 

For the first time in a long time, it feels like you have a clear head. 

Creeping through the underbrush, you steer clear of the well trod pathways that lead towards habitation. You’ve been there, and to the docks, and the river. 

If they’re still keeping him here (and they are, you refuse to entertain the possibility that it could be otherwise) then it’s not somewhere out in the open. A bird cries out in the distance shattering the calm of the night, and you flinch – but it only serves as another reminder that your time tonight is limited; you cannot afford to delay. You wrack your brain, trying to dredge up memories of the last few weeks, surely you must have seen something–

“Lost?”

The single word, spoken in a deep, gruff voice has your blood running cold.

Slowly, you turn. 

Iwa stands behind you in the thicket, his face utterly impassive. Briefly, you contemplate whether it’s worth trying to bluff your way out of this, but Iwa’s eyes narrow, flashing in the dim light and you think better of it.

A sigh escapes you, your shoulders deflating. “Where is he– Ryuji?” you ask; a whisper rather than a demand.

Iwa’s expression gives nothing away. Did he know, or have you handed him the smoking gun of a crime that’d fallen through the cracks? Does it even matter anymore? You’re just–

You’re tired. 

Exhausted. In the space of a few moments all of that shining determination and resolve; it fled, leaving a gaping hole in its wake. This has to end, you can’t keep fighting against them forever. You can’t keep drowning in this guilt, feeling torn every second that you spend here on this stupid island. You just want to find Ryuji and go home.

… Right?

A tense beat passes as Iwa appraises you, and then; “Come with me.”

The hand he places on your shoulder doesn’t give you much choice. His grip isn’t what you’d describe as gentle, yet he’s careful enough to make sure you don’t trip or stumble as he marches you north. 

In the thick of the forest away from the beach, it’s eerily quiet. Every twig that snaps underfoot, every ragged breath you draw; it feels too loud. Out of place amongst the stillness of the midsummer night. 

And isn’t it ironic, that for the first time since you set foot in this paradise, you feel like you’re trespassing?

A bead of sweat trickles down from your temple and your mind unwittingly drifts back to Mattsun and Makki. Are they still swimming with Asuka? Probably, you reason. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly how long it’s been since you left them on the beach, but surely no more than an hour.

And strangely, like water drawn from the depths of a well, an image comes to mind; the four of you standing in the waves, you perched atop Mattsun’s shoulders, screaming and giggling in delight as Asuka tries to knock you down again, two sets of eyes watching from the shore… 

You should have stayed on the beach.

“Can I ask you something?” 

“You can ask,” he replies drily – humouring you, you suppose.

Your lips quirk upwards for the briefest of moments. “What happens on the Lunar blessing? Asuka, the others– no one told me what it was.” 

Iwaizumi doesn’t answer you immediately, but you feel his fingers reflexively tighten on your shoulder. Likely it wasn’t the question he was expecting; surely there were others that you could have asked – but you don’t really want the answers to those.

If you’re being led like a lamb to proverbial slaughter, what good would it do you to know it? 

And yet as the seconds pass and no answer seems forthcoming from your captor, you resign yourself to the fact that your curiosity will remain unsated. You don’t even know what prompted you to ask in the first place; knowing Oikawa it’s probably some grand, meaningless spectacle. Pretty, hollow words spoken only to–

A heavy sigh draws you from your thoughts, and you falter in your step, almost tripping over your own feet in the process. Iwa’s quick to right you, urging you forward with a less than gentle nudge. “Walk straight,” he grunts, yet it lacks any true heat. Anticipation flutters through your veins, and he mutters a soft curse behind you. “Fine. It… it’s an exchange.” 

An exchange? What the hell was that supposed to mean? Your eyebrows draw together, mouth opening to press the matter, but Iwa beats you to the punch.

“You’ll find out for yourself soon enough, now shut up.”

You have no response to that, so you do.

—

The two of you walk in silence for what feels like hours. Eventually, the terrain becomes steeper, the worn path you’re treading twisting and winding, and you realise you must be close to the mountains at the heart of the island. 

As your breath comes in heavy pants, your legs beginning to ache, you can’t help but be lost in the beauty of it all.

The flora’s different here, unlike any you’ve seen before. Flowers bursting from the bark of towering trees, blooms of vibrant hues; reds and purples and soft, baby pinks. Even the vines at your feet curl amongst pretty white buds that gleam invitingly under the moonlight. Your jaw falls open as you gaze around in wonderment. 

You forget why you’re walking, where it is that you’re heading. Iwa’s grip relaxes as a quiet gasp escapes you, and he doesn’t stop you when you stray from the path to take a closer look. You can’t resist reaching out to touch the silken petals, leaning in to smell their perfume. Soft and light and sweet, your eyes flutter shut, a smile creeping across your visage. 

It reminds you of home. Not your actual home – the rundown, tiny shoebox apartment you gave up before you came here – but something deeper.

Home, like the long summer days spent playing in your parents’ backyard. Home, like afternoons curled up by the window, watching the rain come down in sheets outside. 

Home, like the comfort of arms wrapped around you; two hearts beating in sync.

“C’mon,” Iwa interrupts after a minute or so, his voice a touch less gruff. “We’re almost there.”

Dazed, you find yourself nodding, allowing him to guide you back to the path. This time, he doesn’t grab you by the shoulder, seemingly content enough to walk by your side. 

True to his word, it’s only another few minutes before you see it; a wooden villa, four times the size of your own and far, far grander, set amongst a clearing of trees on the mountainside. Confused, your eyes flicker from the villa to Iwa and back again. Gossamer curtains billow lightly in the breeze, a warm, inviting glow spilling from the open windows. Surely this cannot be where he meant to lead you… and yet he merely stands at your side, arms folded across his broad chest, watching you expectantly. 

“You gonna make me carry you up there?” he asks, not unkindly.

Swallowing tightly, you shake your head. 

Another glance, and you catch a shadow lingering by the window. Your heart skips a beat, apprehension curling in your gut as you begin to walk, every step feels less steady than the last. You’re almost glad when Iwa takes you by the arm; if only so that you have something to focus on other than the growing tightness in your chest. The villa, with its pretty flowers and airy, elegant grandeur is far from the isolated cell you’d been afraid of, yet the uncertainty of what you’re walking into eats at you all the same.

Is this where they’ve been keeping Ryu, or has he brought you here for another reason?

Nothing, however, can prepare you for what you find inside. Warm light emanates from lanterns that bathe the room, and your eyes widen as you stare around you.

Strange, gold carvings inlaid with mother of pearl decorate the thick, woodens support beams, a pot of incense burns on a table overflowing with fresh fruit. There’s a jug of the same honeyed wine you’d drank earlier in the night and two cups set on an ornate stand nearby – just within arms reach of one of the chaise lounges.

Iwa affords you little time to gape, drawing you further in. Silken tapestries hang from the walls – you’re pulled along too quickly to truly take note, but the brief glimpses you get hint at a story; a divine being cast from his home, lost and wandering.

It tugs at something buried within you, and uncomfortable, you tear your eyes away.

The two of you reach a closed door at the end of the hall, and Iwa pulls you to a stop, knocking once.

“Come,” a familiar voice calls.

You stiffen, though perhaps you should have foreseen this outcome. Who else would Iwa bring you to but to him? Distantly, you register his grip relaxing, the sound of the door sweeping open and his voice at your ear.

“Go on.”

And it’s funny, you think, how two halves of yourself can be so at odds with each other. Because while your stomach twists itself into knots, goosebumps prickling at your skin, your legs stumble forward of their own accord.

Two steps forward, and your breath catches in your throat.

It’s a bedroom, that much you can deduce from the decor, but that’s not what captures your attention. Nor is it Oikawa, leaning against the bureau with a genial smile – at least not at first. 

No. In place of a back wall, there’s open space, not so much as a panel of glass obstructing the view before you. And what a view it is; from this height you can see the sprawling forest below, the coastline dotted with bonfires and the moonlit ocean shimmering beyond. Where the floorboards end, there are steps, you realise as you unwittingly inch closer, leading to a cascading spring – likely fed from the waterfall you can hear rushing nearby.

How easy it would be to brush aside your worries, you think, to shed your clothes, slip into the cool, calm water and lose yourself entirely. Even amongst all you’ve seen and experienced on the island so far, this is incomparable. 

“Stunning, isn’t it?” Oikawa murmurs, coming up behind you.

His voice startles you, yet when you turn, you find him not gazing out at the scenery but rather at you, that same strange, knowing smile curling at his lips.

“Some days, I admit, it’s hard to tear myself away,” he continues, unbothered by your stunned silence. “But even I can’t neglect my duties for too long.”

You swallow, tongue darting out to wet your lips. Confusion twists through you at the conversational tone, surely he hasn’t brought you here just to chat about the impressive views, yet there’s no hint of disapproval on his face, no indication that he’s anything less than pleased with you.

It’s unnerving to say the least, but you’ll play along with his game if that’s what Oikawa wants.

“Beautiful,” you say, though the words feel woefully inadequate even as you speak them.

He hums in agreement, something akin to pride flickers in his eyes at your assessment, “A labour of love, I suppose. But… everything you see here, everything I’ve built, it comes with a price. You understand that, don’t you?”

“I-I’m sorry?” you stutter.

“Paradise,” he elaborates, his smile widening. “There’s no give without take. Those people down there,” he nods down at the beach, the tiny, ant-like figures still milling about, “the lost, the beaten, the abused – I gave them what they so desperately sought; a sanctuary. A life without struggle, without suffering.” He pauses for a moment, reaching forward to take your hand. You almost flinch, almost skitter across the room to put as much distance between you as you can, but you don’t–

His palm is warm as it envelops yours, a pleasant heat that seems to spread through your veins, easing your tense muscles. There’s nothing to fear from him, you’re safe with Oikawa.

“Aren’t you happy here?”

Yes.

“What about the price?” you ask instead, though it takes more concentration than it should to force the words out. 

Oikawa’s thumb sweeps along the back of your hand. “I never said it was your price to pay,” he soothes. 

There’s something wrong with that sentence, but another sharp knock at the door draws your attention before you can think too hard about it. You turn out of instinct, barely aware of the way his hand tightens fractionally around your own.  

A single finger at your jaw coaxes your attention back to him. “If you built a paradise, wouldn’t you give whatever necessary to ensure it flourished?”

Oikawa stares at you expectantly, deep brown eyes searching your face as he waits for an answer. Agreement would be the logical choice – the one he seems to want from you – but even as your lips part, the only sound that escapes is a breathless, confused noise. 

When you were a kid, maybe six or seven, your parents took you to the beach one day and you waded too far out into the water. The waves were bigger than you expected; all it took was one mistimed jump and you were dragged under.

It wasn’t for long, probably only seconds, and ultimately you were fine – but you remember those few seconds so vividly. The feeling of helplessly tumbling through the water, fighting to break the surface but not knowing which way was up. Your lungs crying out for oxygen, the disorientation and dizziness, the panic.

It feels like that now – like the floor’s dropped out from beneath you and you’re just hurtling through empty air, desperately trying to slow yourself down with nothing to grab onto.

None of this makes any sense. Your emotions are shot to pieces, too many parts of yourself being pulled in different directions and you’re not sure which ones you can trust anymore. How can you be? Oikawa’s still holding your hand, smiling at you, and you just want everything to stop for a second so you can right yourself and breathe–

The door opens.

Iwaizumi appears in your field of vision, dragging a bound, hooded figure behind him. And because this is all some big, cosmic joke, you get your wish. Both of them, actually. 

Time slows. 

Even with a burlap sack pulled over his head, you recognise the man Iwa shoves to the floor and sneers at. 

Hundreds of miles, weeks of uselessly traipsing around this fucking island, and finally– 

Finally, you’ve found Ryu.

There should be relief. Fear, considering his current state, yes, but Ryuji’s here and he’s alive and as the hood is ripped off his head Oikawa squeezes your hand and the only thing you feel is… anger.

Not a heated flash that surges through your blood. It’s slow and seething, insipid. You look at him, locked in place as empty, pleading eyes meet yours and all you can think is that all of this – everything – is his fault.

“Asuka told you why she came to me, didn’t she?” Oikawa asks.

Your brow furrows, why–why is he asking you that now, how did he even–

He slips closer behind you, letting your hand go in favour of your shoulder, his spare dragging lightly along the bare skin of your arm. “She was lost, in so much pain. The physical wounds, they heal after a while,” his voice is right in your ear, a low murmur that sends a shiver rippling down your spine.

It isn’t an unpleasant feeling.

“But the scars inside, well… sometimes those fester.”

Gagged and bound, kneeling at your feet, Ryu doesn’t even try to make a sound. 

He’s thinner than you remember. Face gaunt and bruised; there’s a half healed, mottled yellow one painted across the left side of his jaw, one eye purple and swollen. You glance at Iwa, standing stoically behind him, muscular arms folded across his chest. His work, you wonder, or others as well? You notice the tear tracks running down his face, catching the light of the lanterns, but it’s as if you’re seeing it all through a thick pane of glass. None of it reaches you, there’s nothing but that simmering, ugly feeling in your gut.

Oikawa hums, “I told you that Paradise wasn’t for everyone. It’s a haven, yes, but there are those who simply… don’t belong.”

His body’s so warm, pressed up against yours. Fingertips graze along your side, and this time you don’t bother biting back that tiny, breathless moan. Iwa briefly smirks at it, but there’s no embarrassment. Why should there be? Your eyes flit back to Ryu, bowed on the wooden floor.

Another memory resurfaces; A sharp crack and a ringing in your ears, Ryuji, eyes bloodshot and glazed, falling to his knees, clutching frantically at the leg of your pants as endless apologies spill from his lips. 

It wasn’t him. It was never him. 

“He hurt you,” Oikawa purrs. “He kept hurting you, I saw it.”

The words wash over you like waves breaking on the shore, but you find yourself nodding anyway. It was the truth, wasn’t it? A thousand tiny hurts, piled up on one another until you finally broke.

And you’d still come when he’d called.

Listened to him when he’d begged you not to hang up the phone.

“Iwa.” 

The brunet moves towards a grand chest of drawers pushed up against the western wall. An ornate dagger sits atop, strange and beautiful; the blade isn’t steel or any metal you’ve seen before, but some kind of black stone, the handle intricately carved ivory. You hadn’t even noticed it before, Oikawa’s room filled to the brim with odd trinkets and treasures, but now that you have, it’s hard to tear your eyes away.

Iwa takes it and carries it over towards the two of you, holding it with the utmost care. 

“Obsidian,” Oikawa informs you as he accepts the blade from his friend, bringing it in front of you both to show it off. “Pretty, isn’t it?” And while you can’t see his face, you can hear the smile in his tone.

He isn’t wrong though. 

Ever so carefully you reach out, the soft pads of your fingertips running along the obsidian surface, surprisingly cool to the touch. The razor sharp edges – wavy and asymmetrical, leading to a tapered point – you’re careful to avoid, almost positive you’d draw blood with the slightest touch. 

“Take it,” he urges, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. 

Obediently, you turn your hand over, your fingers wrapping around the hilt when he presses it against your palm. And as long fingers curl around yours, you idly wonder how old the dagger is – there’s not so much as a scratch on it, yet there’s something about the weapon in your hand that feels ancient. It thrums under your combined touch.

Oikawa jerks his chin at Iwa, and with a short nod and one last, lingering glance cast your way, the latter exits once again. 

Leaving you and Oikawa alone with Ryuji.

“It’s almost time,” he remarks – though time for what, you’re not entirely sure. His lips press against your hair, his arm dropping from your shoulder to your waist, drawing you flush against him. “I know why you came to me, the lies that led you here.”

Both of you turn your attention back to Ryuji at that, the bound man now shaking with the force of his muffled sobs, snot dripping from his nose. That bitter resentment rears its ugly head again, soothed only by Oikawa’s pacifying hum, his thumb now rubbing slow circles at your side. “Shh, I’m not angry – none of that matters now. You’ve found a home here, no? You want to stay on the island with me.”

You swallow, nodding your head rapidly. The thought of having to leave now, of being forced out after everything you’ve seen and felt and experienced here, you– you can’t fathom it. You don’t want to. 

Ryuji’d wrought so much damage, but even before he’d swept through your life… had you ever been happy? Were you ever truly accepted – or loved, for that matter?

You can’t go back to that life. You won’t; he’ll have to drag you kicking and screaming from the shore. The Commune is your home, this is where you belong. Here, with Oikawa.

“Good girl,” he croons, another kiss pressed to the crown of your head. You beam at the praise and Ryuji crumples a little further. “Death begets life, you understand now, don’t you?”

You glance at the obsidian dagger in your hand and then at Ryu, beaten and bruised, bowed in forced supplication before you, and nod.

His fingers tighten around yours, “Then do it.”

Leaning forward, you reach for Ryu, fingers lightly trailing down his ruined cheek, curling at his chin to coax his head upwards. He squeezes his eyes shut, pain and regret etched over every inch of his face, but he doesn’t fight you. 

Baring his throat to your dagger, Ryuji’s pleas take the shape of your name.

Muffled, thanks to the gag, but unmistakable. And for one single moment, you falter. 

This… this is wrong; for all his faults, and god knows there were plenty, Ryu didn’t des–

A wave of calm washes over you, allaying your fears, your doubts. Your breath leaves you in a heavy gust, taking with it the tension in your shoulders, and Oikawa’s voice, smooth and honeyed, reaches your ears once more, “Nothing comes without a price, doesn’t he deserve to be the one to pay it?”

With your hand still tucked inside of his, your arm moves with a will of its own; slashing with inhuman grace.

The dagger cuts deep, Ryuji’s eyes snapping open in shock as a spray of warm blood hits you both. He chokes – a horrid, wet, gurgling sound – wide, pleading eyes frantically shifting between you and Oikawa. Every beat of his failing heart sends fresh blood spurting from the gaping wound. It drenches his front, splatters across your dress, your face, crimson pooling at the wooden floorboards at his knees. His mouth falls open and shut, trying and failing to form coherent sounds and you just stand there and watch, the dagger hanging limply at your side.

It doesn’t take long; seconds at the most. 

Ryuji’s slumps to the floor, his body finally growing still as the light fades from his eyes. There’s a beat of absolute silence, and then–

Oikawa shudders behind you, a strangled, drawn out moan leaving his lips. You try to turn, but his arms lock around you, every muscle tensing, his back arching. The dagger in your hand grows hot, burning the soft skin of your palm, but with his fingers still tightly entwined with yours you can only whimper and endure it.

With a hoarse, guttural roar, a pulse of pure energy surges through the room like a shockwave. Every cell in your body lights up, electrified, buzzing; a dizzying euphoria unlike any you’ve felt before coursing through your blood. 

Across the island, voices cry out in delight, a symphony of life. The trees tremble and shake, invigorated and renewed, fresh buds bursting from the forest floor, blooming under the light of the full moon.

The harvests flourish, even the river swells in response to the call.

Death begets life, just as he promised.

And with every inch of your body alight and singing with pleasure, you can barely think much less protest (and why would you want to?) as Oikawa roughly yanks you around, hungry lips crashing against your own as his fingers pull and tear at your bloodstained dress. He wastes no time with foreplay, and you suspect only begrudgingly takes a moment to hoist you up against him and carry you to his bed.

There’s nothing gentle about the way he hauls your hips to his, sheathing his cock inside of your warm, tight cunt with one savage thrust, but you don’t care.

Not as you cling to him, fingernails raking along his shoulders as he presses your thighs further apart so he can fuck you deeper. It’s hard and rough and brutal, yet you moan for him all the same, his name a prayer swallowed up by feverish, claiming kisses.

Tonight, bathed in blood and the soft glow of moonlight, you offer your god everything.

—

“Look, look!” 

A small hand tugs at your skirt, and you glance down to find a little girl with pretty, dark curls holding up a crown of woven flowers.

“Do you like it?” she asks. 

Carefully, you take it from her, bringing it closer to examine. She watches you intently as you study it, lifting it this way and that to appraise her work, humming thoughtfully for good measure. “I think it’s beautiful work,” you tell her after a long enough pause, and you can’t help but smile at the way she lights up, preening under your praise. “Why don’t you go show your mama? I’m sure she’ll be very impressed.”

The girl nods rapidly, thanking you before skipping off in the direction of her parents. The sun’s hanging low in the sky, the fires already being readied for the night ahead. You’re not unaware of the watchful gaze that carefully monitors your every move, and the moves of anyone who ventures too close by. Soon enough, you’ll return home to the heart of the island – anticipation fluttering in your belly at the thought of what awaits you – but for now, you let your feet sink further into the sand, closing your eyes as you bask in the lingering warmth of the setting sun.

At least until the sound of your name being called draws you back to the present. Yet it’s not Iwaizumi approaching, but rather Makki, two strangers trailing along behind him. 

“Thought I’d find you here,” he grins, throwing a casual arm over your shoulders. “This is Kaneo,” he gestures to the man, “and his wife Manaka. They arrived this morning, I’ve been showing ‘em round.”

You turn to the couple, smiling sweetly as you extend a hand, “Welcome to the Commune.”

[sehunniepotwrites]

if we were a movie | j.jh

for @nctsworld’s first writing challenge

SYNOPSIS. For someone who was always the understudy and never the lead, scoring this role was huge for you. All you had to do was pretend to be in love with your best friend. No big deal, right? Wrong. It was the biggest deal because, for the past four years, you had been hiding your feelings for Jung Jaehyun.

If this were a movie, he would be your perfect match and the story would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

GENRE. childhood friends to lovers!au, college!au, drama school!au, slow burn, angst, humor, mutual pining, fluff (loosely based on the Filipino rom-com Must Be Love and If We Were a Movie by Hannah Montana) PAIRING. theatre major!Jaehyun x  theatre major!reader WORD COUNT. 14+ k

WARNINGS. point of view switches from first (”I”) to second (”you”); self-doubt, insecurities, mutual pining, cursing, lots of references and direct quotes from musicals such as Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella, Disney’s Newsies, Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Shrek the Musical, and Wicked (edited but i might’ve missed some mistakes; bare with me!)

There are moments where time flows as normal, where people carry on with their days as they usually do. Then, there are moments people experience in slow-motion, where the world just stops spinning and all the background noise just fades away. These are the moments people look forward to. They’re the breathtaking ones, the ones that capture your heart and soul. After those moments, people are never the same. 

The first time I experienced something in slow motion was when I made my stage debut at a small talent show. There was thunderous applause after my performance and while my heart thumped against my chest, the world seemed to come to a stop. That’s when I knew my heart belonged to the stage or rather, the stage belonged to me. 

Some of these slo-mo moments are the ones where people fall in love. 

My father said that’s how he knew my mother was the one for him: he experienced it all at a slowed rate, everything fading into black and she was the only thing he saw. She was his brightest star and he was the one who reached for the sky to bring her down to Earth. 

When I was younger, I always dreamed about my “falling in love” slow-mo moment. I pictured a grandiose event with large actions and sweet words.  For it to actually happen at theatre camp during the initial dress rehearsal for Disney’s Beauty and the Beast J.R.— well, that was far from what I hoped for. 

And yet, it was just as special as I thought it would be. 

I was in my obnoxious fork costume, waiting for my best friend to leave the boy’s dressing room. 

Jung Jaehyun had been my best friend since the beginning, otherwise known as my first year at theatre camp. Only ten years old at the time, we both were cast as two of the three blind mice in Shrek the Musical and had been inseparable ever since. Although we attended different middle schools, our friendship grew from our shared vocal and dance lessons as well as our summers at camp. You know how it is; those who end up in the ensemble together stay together. 

Going over the dance moves in my head, I didn’t hear my friend’s voice calling my name. He gripped my shoulder, the action surprising me to the point where I lost my balance. I yelped and shut my eyes, expecting to fall onto the hard ground but a hand grabbing onto my wrist prevented my doom. With an arm around my waist, I barely missed the ground.

Slowly opening my eyes, I glanced up to see Jung Jaehyun looking down at me with a worried gaze. He was just a sixteen-year-old boy dressed as a spoon and yet, the world around us came to a halt. Gone were the other frantic theatre kids and the backstage messes. The couple playing Belle and the Beast was no longer sitting across from us, running through their lines. No hustle and bustle of the crew and the props masters.

It was just me dressed as a fork, falling down while my spoon for a best friend caught me in his arms. 

“We make quite a pair, don’t we, Forky?” he chuckled lowly, hitting the top of his costume to mine. It was a ridiculous sight— a pair of oversized cutlery in a crowded dressing room.

A burning hot sensation crept its way up to my face as he gently pulled me up. “I guess we do.”

Since then, my life has never been the same. I was in love with my best friend, Jung Jaehyun. I fell for him when the world stopped spinning beneath my feet while his world, unfortunately, kept on turning.

I remember each and every slowed-down moment in life —the good, the bad, and the absolute worst. I never thought a bad slo-mo moment existed, I simply didn’t think it was possible. 

I was young and naive then and I was so incredibly wrong.

The moment that hurt me most took place in my senior year of high school. The final callbacks for our community’s production of Disney’s Newsies were in order. The role of Jack Kelly, the headstrong and flirty newsboy, was easily given to the ever-so-charming Jung Jaehyun. He was not only my best friend at the time but he was the it-boy of our small theatre. People were either in love with him or wanted to be him— his talent matched his insane looks. His kind personality made him all the more lovable.

Jaehyun had his two fatal flaws, though. Everyone knew them but still saw him in such a bright light.

One: the boy was extremely clumsy. Jaehyun was often called “magic hands,” constantly ruining his props. It was a running gag in the theatre but the props committee never minded; one smile was all it took for them to forgive him and his cursed hands. 

That was his first flaw. And his second? Jaehyun fell in love way too easily and way too fast. 

How exactly did I find this out? Well, I was there to witness the scene that lifted his heart to the highest of levels while mine dropped straight to the ground.

I was in the running for the stubbornly intelligent female lead named Katherine Plumber. My opponent was the confident and radiant Son Wendy. She always played the lead in her high school productions but this was a community musical and I was determined to claim that part as my own. 

I went first, entering the audition room with a smile with the script gripped tightly in my palm. Performing alongside my best friend was easy. The romantic scene was a piece of cake, not because the lines were a breeze. That wasn’t it at all. It wasn’t because I memorized the Newsies script as a child either. It was because, at that moment, Jung Jaehyun was in love with me as much as I was in love with him. It was a moment I wanted to cherish forever: the way he looked at me was something I had never experienced before. It was so full of emotion and passion, like he had me within his grasp and never wanted to let me go.

“You got this. I believe in you,” he whispered in my ear, squeezing my hand in support. His breath tickled my skin and sent shivers down my spine. The nerves were back, not because of the audition, but because of him. 

“You’re just saying that because it’s the scene we’re about to act out, Jae,” I hissed. The sheet music for the duet, Something to Believe In, wrinkled in my free palm. 

His warm, comforting hand pressed harder against my own. “No, it’s not that. If you need someone to believe in you, I’m right here. I’ve got you, Forky. Always.”

The director cleared his throat from his seat, his scrutinizing eyes watching us closely as we got into position, just like we rehearsed a thousand times. “Whenever you’re ready.”

I watched as Jaehyun took a deep breath to get into character. He closed his eyes, rolled his broad shoulders back, and then his lids snapped open. His brown-eyed gaze aimed straight at me, with a vulnerable expression taking over his features. He was no longer Jung Jaehyun— he was Jack Kelly, a scared newsboy who was in love with a newspaper company heiress. 

The line came pouring out of his mouth with the utmost sincerity, the confusion and affection seeping through his words, “Just standing here tonight, looking at you, I’m scared tomorrow is gonna come and change everything.”

 Jaehyun took a step forward towards me, an unsure smile curling on his lips. “If there was a way I could just grab hold of something to make time stop just so I could keep looking at you.”

His body stops right in front of mine, keeping a clear distance but enough to feel the passion radiating off of his words and actions. For once in my young life, my best friend looked at me with a different kind of love in his eyes and I returned it, my genuine feelings seeping through my words. 

Biting my lip, I replied coyly, “You snuck up on me, Jack Kelly, I never even saw it coming.”

“For sure?” he stage-whispered. His upstage hand unexpectedly reached up to caress my cheek. The action was unrehearsed, almost catching me off guard. It was a different take on the scene. The characters were supposed to be shy, their thoughts wavering on their own feelings for each other and the impending strike that was to come the day after; yet, Jaehyun played Jack as someone certain of his feelings.

“For sure,” I answered back at the same volume, my hand cupping his own to follow along with his direction. It felt as if he was searching my soul for my thoughts and I could not let him in. The opening bars of the romantic duet echoed throughout the room and after taking a breath, I began to sing. Jaehyun joined in on the second verse and instantly, our voices blended together in a beautiful harmony, one that beat our Newsies karaoke sessions in his car. 

The scene ended as quickly as it began. The director hummed before jotting notes down and whispering to his casting assistants for a few seconds. I thought they were the longest seconds of my life. Jaehyun nodded his head to reassure me. “You did well, Forky.”

“Of course I did, it’s me we’re talking about here,” I nudged him back. “I can do no wrong, Jae!” 

“Thank you,” the director finally spoke, “you may go. Jaehyun, if you could escort her out and fetch Wendy for me?”

“Of course,” your friend nodded. The feeling of his large hand on my back slowly guided me out of the room. The spot he touched me burned but my cheeks were burning even more. Why was it that every little touch drove me to the brink of insanity?

“You’re so going to land this part,” I remember him saying as he squeezed my waist. My heart was beating erratically against my ribcage, the butterflies in my stomach threatening to fly their way up my throat.

“You think so?”

“Oh definitely,” Jaehyun stressed with a wink. 

He said it too soon. 

Because the minute he locked gazes with Son Wendy, I just knew he had found his leading lady. 

“S-Son Wendy?” he stuttered as he caught sight of the pretty girl in the waiting room. Her hair was styled similarly to a young maiden from the turn of the century, perfectly curled and out of her face. 

“Yes?” she smiled back.

It seemed like the words were caught in my best friend’s throat. Sneaking a glance at Jaehyun’s ears, they burned a bright red. “We’re, um, we’re ready for you.”

I watched as Jaehyun nervously offered his arm to her, his eyes never leaving her face. It was like he was her own personal spotlight, the way his eyes shone just for the girl in front of him. The boy was completely enamored and I was instantly in the shadows. The sweet smile that was reserved for me was directed towards another and it sparkled in a way it never did before.

The world around me moved incredibly slow as they passed me by. With everything frozen, all I saw was the gorgeous couple headed to the audition room with hushed exchanges. Jaehyun took his time heading to the private room to spend more time with the girl while Son Wendy steadily made her way into my friend’s fragile heart. My own heart clenched at the sight. It was breaking ever so slowly and I felt every little crack and tear. 

Even with the role of the understudy, it was as if I never even had a chance at winning his heart over. If Wendy wasn’t present for one rehearsal, Jaehyun didn’t even see me— his own best friend since our ensemble days. He was way too deep into his “showmance.” It was like I never even existed. It wasn’t long before he called Wendy his girlfriend and then, I was invisible. Cast aside. Ignored.

Needless to say, my heart broke in slow-motion as Jaehyun’s pounded rapidly for a girl that took two parts I desperately ached for: Katherine Plumber and the girl who held Jaehyun’s heart. 

But this was just the first time his heart was stolen by his opposite. The first of many.

The first two years of university passed me by like a summer breeze. Constantly busy with general education and introductory drama courses, I was constantly flitting around from building to building. My hands were usually occupied by my laptop, a blazing cup of caffeinated tea, and a worn out script while my mind was filled with jumbled up lines and the dramatic cries of an overwhelmed university student. I probably wouldn’t have made it this far if it wasn’t for Jaehyun and Xiao Dejun, another theatre major we had met during orientation, by my side.

Fast forward to my third year and the three of us were headed to the office of the theatre department. It was posting day for the spring musical— the day the cast list was revealed. This year’s musical spectacular was Rodgers and Hammerstein’s Cinderella. The play itself was a modern classic and it was also my dream come true.

This day, just like any posting day of the drama department, was nerve-racking. Everyone was anxious to find out what parts they were given and how the fairytale would play out. The part of the brave and kind Ella was always on my list of roles I wanted to fill. As much as I thought I did well on my final callback, I didn’t want to set my hopes too high.

“Are you nervous?” Jaehyun asked while draping an arm over my shoulder. He playfully put all his weight onto his right side to throw me off balance. 

“Nervous? Me? Why would I be nervous if I’m like 95% sure  I’m going to get the understudy again?” I chuckled sarcastically. Bitterly. It happened every year, so why get my hopes up now?

“Yeah but—”

“No buts, I’ve accepted the title of the Wonderstudy! I think you should too, Jae,” I slapped his shoulder before quickly slipping out of his hold before linking arms with Dejun. My best friend let out a yelp, almost tripping over his own two feet as we continued down the hallway. “I’m mediocre at best.”

The Wonderstudy: it was the nickname the other students in the department gave me because I was always the understudy. I was never the star of the show. It said that I was good but not good enough. 

Dejun leaned in and whispered, “You do know that you’re more than just that, right? You’re an actor. A phenomenal one. You weren’t accepted to this drama program by just being mediocre at best.”

I ignored my friend’s comment, eyes zoned in at the other end of the building. The crowd of usual theatre students crowded around the bulletin board, curious heads popping up and down trying to take a peek at the list. Some buzzed with excitement, happy they got a major part while others groaned in disappointment. You were most likely going to be with the later group. 

Once the cluster of students caught sight of Jaehyun, they parted like the red sea to let him through. It wasn’t really necessary, though, everyone knew the it-boy of the drama department was cast as the role of the misguided prince, Topher. 

The only question was: who was cast as his princess? Who was this year’s Ella?

I fought my way through the bunch with Dejun following behind me as our best friend was showered with congratulations. Jaehyun was all smiles, dimples prominent as he was lavished by the mass. Dejun made it to the list first. His finger dragged along the thin paper until he found his name. He cheered, pumping his fist up in joy. “I got the part I wanted! I’m Jean-Michel!”

Grinning at my friend, I sincerely congratulated him. He got the second lead: the feisty peasant looking for change. Turning again, his eyes grazed the list until Dejun found my name. His smile dropped ever so slightly and that was when I knew: I was beaten once again. 

“What part did I get?”

“Gabrielle,” he answered. Ah, the outwardly abrasive but quietly empathetic sister. The second lead, love interest of Jean-Michel. At least I was playing Dejun’s opposite. 

I took a step closer, wondering who took the part of the kind princess. Squinting at the small print, my eyes scanned the jumble of words until I saw it.

Ella……………………….Lee Naeun Ella u/s………………….Y/N

I scoffed. Forever the understudy. The Wonderstudy of the Theatre Department indeed.

The first rehearsal, otherwise known as the read-through, took a toll on me. It was usually a two to three hour long session, filled with loud chatter, crazy introductions, and a variety of crazy theatre games to break the ice. When the niceties ended, everyone took their seats in their plastic chairs that were arranged in a huge circle. Bae Joohyun, the head stage manager began reading the stage directions aloud as the table read began. The production’s director, Professor O’Hare, sat alongside Joohyun, jotting down notes and giving out commentary when needed. 

Amongst the reading of lines were tiny whispers, the sound of highlighters and pencils marking the paper, and the simultaneous turning of pages. The music director, Professor Lau sat at the piano bench and sight-read the music to give the cast a taste of the songs. Being the first rehearsal, the few who knew of the songs sang along to the accompaniment with joyous smiles, myself and Dejun included.

When Professor Lau played the first romantic duet between the leads, all heads turned to Jaehyun and Naeun who sat side-by-side. With it being their first time together, the performance was far from perfect but it was still something. His lower tone blended nicely with her softer voice and the shy glances they exchanged made their duet quite a sight. 

As Jaehyun and Naeun read the last lines for Act One, I noticed the way Jaehyun’s gaze kept flittering back to Naeun’s pretty face. The girl was focused on her lines, head down and hair blocking her gorgeous features, but he still kept looking at her and only her. I could imagine how the scene was playing out in his head, the world slowing down until Naeun was the only one moving.  He was infatuated. Twitterpated. 

And it hurt. It hurt more than reading the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet or listening to Elphaba’s desperate cry she lets out when she loses Fiyero. Call me dramatic but that was how I felt. 

It wasn’t like I tried getting over him. It wasn’t like I tried dating other people before; I had many, many times but my mind always drifted back to my best friend. He was the boy with the richest brown eyes, the perfectly dimpled smile, and the lowest laugh that set my heart aflame. Without even knowing it, Jaehyun had this incredible hold on my broken heart and he would not let me out of his grip. 

The green-eyed monster inside me resurfaced and I hated it. I absolutely hated it— why was I so pathetically in love with my best friend? 

 “Here we go again,” I said before dropping my head onto the table. 

“You say that every time and you keep running back to him at the end of the day,” Dejun whispered before looking back down at his script. His hand continued to jet across the page, his highlighter marking his many lines. 

Rolling up the script in my hand, I whacked his side. The action caused his hand to jerk the bright marker in another direction, striking a distorted line on his page. “Look what you did, twerp!” he hissed.

“Your fault, Eyebrows!”

“Stop calling me that, you fork!”

“Hey, only I can call her fork!” Jaehyun appeared out of nowhere, plopping alongside me. His voice snapped us out of our little argument, making us realize that the director called for a fifteen. 

“That’s only because you’re a dumb spoon,” I stuck my tongue out at him. Jaehyun pretended to reach for it and I blew a raspberry at him to retaliate. 

“You two idiots are my favorite cutlery set,” Dejun shook his head with a laugh. He was probably wondering why he stuck around us the majority of the time. 

“Let off it, Dejun,” Jaehyun said with the roll of his brown orbs. 

“Only if you let me be the knife to your set.”

“As if, dumbass,” I countered with a laugh. 

“Okay but you guys, can we stop fighting for a sec and talk about how I got her number?” Jaehyun beamed, throwing his arms over both our shoulders. He pulled us closer to his body and the faint smell of his musky cologne hit my nose. I held back a sigh as it filled my senses. Oh, to be drowned in his scent. 

“I got Naeun’s number!” he repeated excitedly, his strong arms shaking us. I held back my abrupt want to push him off. I wasn’t in a celebrating mood. My heart was too broken to care.

“Of course you did, when do you not get a girl’s number?” I answered a bit too bitterly. Raising a brow at him, I added, “Are we supposed to be surprised?”

“Listen,” Jaehyun countered, pulling back from me. “I don’t like that attitude, Forky.”

I scoffed, “Never stopped you from being my friend before, Jae.”

Jaehyun didn’t answer; he was too busy clutching his phone. His pretty brown eyes were fixed on Naeun’s contact page like it was the world’s greatest treasure. His eyes were sparkling in admiration before his gaze turned to the girl across the room. The look my best friend wore on his face was soft, the smile on his lips light. “I think she could be the one.”

Some thought him to be a player but I never thought of him that way. He might have had the looks of a heartbreaker but he had the purest heart of gold. The boy with the dimpled smile, porcelain skin, and cheeks as red as roses was a hopeless romantic to his very core. He was simply looking for his other half. 

“I think she could be the one.” His words repeated in my head, his voice pestering me. My heart lurched at them despite hearing them each semester. 

Jaehyun said this every year, with every girl. He said this when he crushed on Son Wendy, Kim Chungha, and so many more. His infatuations and crushes ended just as easily as they started. The boy was more than disappointed when the initial spark with each girl ended after a show’s run ended. When the musical closed, so did his feelings for each opposite. 

I never got stage fright; I was usually the one who said what was on her mind without a moment’s hesitation. So why was I hesitating to tell him my feelings?

Why was I hesitating to say that the one Jaehyun could be looking for was standing right next to him?

Just another rehearsal at the auditorium. 

Just another day watching my best friend fall for his leading lady.

Jaehyun and Naeun were standing in the middle of the stage, the ensemble surrounding them. He stood behind her, his hands gently placed on her waist while she leaned back into his touch. Naeun was wearing a fluffy tulle skirt, a mock-up of her ballgown. Park Sooyoung, the resident fashion major and lead costume designer, pushed her to wear it so she could get used to the estimated size of her dress. Even in a mere tank top and tulle skirt, Lee Naeun looked like a princess.

Professor Kwon, the choreographer of the production, stood at the end with a watchful eye. She counted them off, walking them through the routine while the rest of us practiced our steps off to the sidelines. 

Once the two main characters got the hang of their steps, Professor Kwon motioned for Professor Lau to play the songs from the beginning. As much as I tried to focus on my own dance moves, my mind kept wandering back to Jaehyun. 

Imagining him under the spotlight in a perfectly tailored suit, a crown sitting on his head, extending his arm out not to Naeun but to me. It was one of those movie moments where the characters and the audience watching fell in love. 

If life was like a movie, things would be so much easier. 

So lost in my thoughts, I missed a count and stepped on my partner’s foot. Muttering a quiet sorry to him, we continued on with the routine. As my partner swirled me around the dance floor, I drifted back into my daydream.

My utterly impossible daydream where I was the girl Jung Jaehyun was infatuated with. Although this play talked about impossible things happening everyday, I couldn’t imagine this ever happening. 

The terrible thing about being a theatre major in university was being a theatre major with midterms. Not only did I have to deal with hours of my back hunched over a desk and scattered study materials, I had to spend half of my days in the school’s theatre rehearsing. 

If I was not in class scribbling down last minute notes in notebooks,  I was learning dance routines or running lines on and off stage alongside Dejun. The days were long and the nights were even longer. Sometimes, the cast fell asleep in the seats of the auditorium while rehearsals were going on. We were all losing sleep. Some of us were losing our sanity but hey, welcome to the theatre. 

My schedule was filled to the brim and I wasn’t even the main character of the show. On top of that, I had to memorize the part of Ella. Not that it was really needed in the first place. 

No one ever stepped down from a lead role while I was their backup. It just didn’t happen.

Despite the hectic lives of belonging to the theatre department, the musical was two months into production and everything was running smoothly. With a month and a left until opening night, everyone was off-book and the initial stage blocking was done. The costuming and makeup committee were finishing up their mock-up designs and the student orchestra sounded divine. 

I saw more of Dejun than Jaehyun lately, my best friend being preoccupied with his new love interest before, during, and after rehearsals. I was cast aside once again.

Was it something out of the ordinary? No.

Did it still hurt? Yes.

Did I do anything about it? Absolutely not. I didn’t want to ruin his happiness. I rather suffer than see him as nothing but joyous, even if the happiness was temporary. The grin he wore when he was in love was too beautiful to rip away. Jaehyun shined like the light from the sun. I could never bring myself to do it. 

It was week eight of rehearsals when I stepped out of my last midterm, my head absolutely empty after reading small text for over an hour. Reaching into my backpack’s front pocket, I pulled out my cell phone and quickly turned it on. My screen was flooded with missed calls and texts from Professor O’Hare, Joohyun, Jaehyun, and Dejun, the notification numbers reaching over a hundred total. 

Something must have happened. Talk about a theatre emergency. Knowing our kind, they were probably being overdramatic. 

Just as I was about to unlock my phone, a video call went through. It was Dejun. Rolling my eyes, I slid my finger across the screen to answer it. “Jeez, I know you love me but give a girl a break, Eyebrows!”

“God, you’re so conceited sometimes. Why didn’t you answer my calls?!” He shouted, face close to the phone. I winced at the volume, immediately lowering the level as I slipped on my wireless earbuds. “There are important matters to discuss here!”

“What happened this time? Did someone say Macbeth in the theatre again? You know I don’t believe in that shit,” I said sarcastically.

“Oh my god. This is not the time for jokes! Everyone’s been trying to reach you!” Xiaojun yelled once more. “Where are you?!”

“I just got out of my musical history midterm in Maple Hall. Heading to the theatre right now. Why?” I never received an answer; Dejun hung up the call. Giving my phone a weird look, I shoved it in my pocket before continuing on my way. A light push on my back prevented me from going too far. 

“Twerp!” Xiao Dejun’s voice came from behind me, yanking me by the straps of my backpack. He was breathing heavily, trying to catch his breath. “Oh my god, we’ve been looking for you everywhere,” he said in between heavy breaths. 

Crossing my arms, I cocked a brow at him. “Why’s that?”

Dejun placed a hand on my shoulder for support. The words came flying out of his mouth, I almost couldn’t catch what he was saying. So much for being a theatre major. 

“Speak clearly, Dejun. Enunciate, articulate, exaggerate, remember? We are thespians and thespians do not mumble!”

The exhausted boy ignored my theatricals. “Naeun didn’t land a switch leap right and she rolled her ankle during advanced ballet. She’s going to be out for at least three to four weeks,” my friend replied breathily, his words a lot clearer than before.

The news shocked me to the core, my feet suddenly planted to the ground. It sounded like he said Naeun was out of commission. “What?” 

“She’s out for three to four weeks! I mean sucks for her, I wish her a speedy recovery but do you know what this means?”

The lack of response from me urged him to continue, “Sweetheart, she’s out. You’re in!”

Oh shit. I was in.

The part I had always dreamed of was mine. The lead role was finally mine.

I was now Ella and Jung Jaehyun was my Prince Topher.

Having an understudy step up to their role halfway through production was always something to get used to. It was a setback, a minor one, but still a setback. Just as Jaehyun finally settled into his role and built an unshakeable bond with Lee Naeun as his opposite, the accident happened. His potential girlfriend was now out of the show and off her feet in order to push for a speedy recovery.

The lovesick boy couldn’t even be there for her because his rehearsal times increased in order to get his best friend adjusted to your new role. There he was, leaning against the piano while waiting for you to arrive.

Professor Lau sat at the bench, flipping through his sheet music until he found the song he was looking for. 

The door slammed open and you stumbled in. “Am I late? I’m sorry, I just heard the news.”

“No, not at all. You’re right on time,” the professor smiled at you. “The situation’s weird, I know but congratulations on getting Ella.”

“Thanks, Professor. That means a lot,” you grinned back. 

Dropping your bag by the piano, you swiftly pulled out the script. You glanced at Jaehyun’s opened book for the page number before hastily flipping through the pages. Jaehyun nudged your side. “Hey, Forky.”

“Hey yourself,” you elbowed him back, biting your bottom lip.

“Congrats, bubs. You did it,” he pulled you into a side hug before ruffling your hair with pride. You had finally gotten a part you wanted. It was your time to shine. As your best friend for many years, Jaehyun had been waiting for the day you could show the crowds your full potential.  

“Did I really do it or did your girlfriend just get injured? How is she, by the way?” 

As much as you tried to play the overdramatic, conceited girl, you never believed in yourself but Jaehyun always did. You deserve the spotlight; your talent was out of this world and the masses were finally granted a chance to see you for what you were— a star.

“You did this. You were made for this part as much as she was,” Jaehyun reassured his best friend with a smile. He tapped your nose. “And she’s not my girlfriend but she’s doing alright. Just in a little bit of pain. I’m going to see her after we finish.”

“Give her some well wishes for me,” you answered. Jaehyun didn’t notice your smile dropping into a small frown.

“You ready to act like you’re in love with me?”

“I was born ready, you doof.” There was something weird in your voice when those words left your lips but Jaehyun didn’t have time to process it.

Professor Lau guided the students through a series of warm-ups before asking, “Shall we start with Do I Love You Because You’re Beautiful today? We’ll do a couple of run-throughs before Jaehyun teaches you the blocking.” His fingers played the beginning notes of the song, the light melody drifting to their ears. 

Already off book at this point, Jaehyun closed his eyes and began to sing.

Do I love you because you’re beautiful? Or are you beautiful because I love you?

Am I making believe I see in you A girl too lovely to be really true?

Do I want you because you’re wonderful? Or are you wonderful because I want you?

Are you the sweet invention of a lover’s dream? Or are you really as wonderful as you seem?

When his eyes fluttered open, Jaehyun found himself facing you with a script in hand. Your face wore the softest look as you stared back at him. His breath almost caught in his throat at the gentle smile you wore. You played the part differently from Naeun and it was a refreshing sight to behold. You were playing a confused peasant but your eyes still sparkled with the gleam of a thousand suns. 

There was a flush of heat that started from his cheeks and extended to his reddening ears. His heart was doing its best to break out of his ribcage and the star of the show wasn’t sure if his chest could keep it in for very much longer.

When singing with him, Naeun was a pretty princess.

But when he sang with you, the girl in front of him? Jaehyun thought you were absolutely breathtaking.

Two hours later, we were finally free of rehearsals. My first rehearsal as Ella. My throat was a bit parched from all the singing and projecting I was doing but I felt lighter than air. Singing with Jaehyun made me feel lighter than air. I was weightless, nothing could hold me down.

“Forky, you’re really good,” he said to me as we walked to our cars. I tried to fight the sudden heat making its way to my face. Lately, compliments from him were hard to come by.

 It was already late when O’Hare and Lau finally let us out, the moon sitting high in the sky. The night breeze crept its way into my thin jacket, causing me to hug myself to retain some warmth. Noticing my struggle with the cold, Jaehyun quickly draped his jacket over my shoulders. I was immediately hit with his familiar scent, it was almost overwhelming. I should be used to this, his action of sharing his clothes with me was nothing new but I was weak. It affected me every single time. I guess I was that head over heels for him. 

Head over glass heels, one could even say.

“You’ve seen me in action before and I mean, I was chosen to be the understudy for a reason,” I gave him a shrug. 

“Yeah but I’ve never seen you act and sing like that. Just...wow.” Stealing a glance at him, Jaehyun almost looked enamored with me. He was giving me a look that was usually reserved for someone else. I felt my heartbeat pick up in my chest and flutters in my stomach.

“Stop that,” I blushed, pinching his skin through the thin material of his long-sleeved shirt. A satisfying buzz ran through my body. Was he really looking at me like that? I was probably reading too much into it.

“No, but it seemed so real. Like you weren’t pretending.”

“That’s because I wasn’t,” I whispered under my breath as we arrived at our cars. 

“Hmm, you say something?” Jaehyun asked, leaning closer to hear me. 

Shaking my feelings away, I ignored the dull ache in my chest and acted through the tears I was desperately holding in. I wrinkled my nose at him playfully, secretly pushing the pain down my throat. “You really don’t listen to a word I say, do you, Jae? I said, I’ll see you later.”

“See ya, Forky! Get home safely!”

Scoffing to myself, I realized how much of a great actor I was. I deserved an Oscar or a Tony for the scenes I played out, the ones where I pretended to be okay when I was far from it. 

What award do you ask? Best Actress in a Supporting Role— the best friend to Jung Jaehyun but never the love of his life.

Wardrobe fittings for productions were always an exciting day for the whole cast and crew. It was one step closer to putting on a show. Jaehyun was already dressed in one of his many costumes, a white suit with golden trimmings. It fit him for the most part, only tiny adjustments were needed. Members of the wardrobe department quickly pinned his neatly pressed jacket before taking it off his hands. Since he was the main character, Jaehyun was one of the first ones done. He was simply waiting for you to come out in your first dress— the white gown for the ball scene in Act One.

When you finally did all those minutes ago, Jaehyun swore his heart stopped. 

Ten minutes ago, Jaehyun saw his best friend walk through the curtains. Your face was bare, hair still in that lazy style you always sported but your clothes. The comfy clothing you usually rehearsed in was gone and replaced by a beautiful ball gown. Despite the pins that scattered throughout the material to fit your form, it still appeared majestic. There you were, standing before him and the rest of the cast, and you were the loveliest you had ever been.

Ten minutes ago, you walked in and his head was reeling. Time slowed down as you tentatively made your way towards him. You did not meet his eyes but Jaehyun was dying to catch your gaze. He never wanted to let you out of his sight. The picture of his best friend in white was something he wanted to treasure and suddenly, the slowness around him stopped. The cast’s cheers and squeals disappeared. There was only you in that beautiful ball gown. 

Was this the slow-motion moment you always talked about? The one you always dreamed about experiencing? Jaehyun could see why people thought it to be magic. It was almost like a movie, movie magic if you will. 

Another look at you and then Jaehyun was in the future, watching you make her way down the aisle. A thin veil covered your face and he was so tempted to push it away from concealing your dazzling smile. His heart was fighting its way out of his chest, wanting to head down the path straight to you. How he wanted to reach out and touch you, cradle you in his arms. 

You were truly an angel in white. A princess. A queen.

The mere sight of you took him to the skies, the one place he was sure you were from. Although Jaehyun would never admit it, he always thought you to be beautiful. Throughout the many years of being best friends, he would find his gaze subconsciously drifting to you. He would rip it away before you would ever notice him doing so, knowing you would tease the hell out of him for it— it was his own little secret tucked away into the corners of his beating heart. 

“How do I look?” Your question snapped him out of his daydream and back to reality. Back down to earth. 

“Sorry, what did you say?” 

“Oh my god, you stupid spoon! I said, how do I look?”

“Lovely,” he answered sincerely, his brown eyes digging into your own. “You look absolutely lovely.”

Ten minutes ago, you simply murmured a question while Jung Jaehyun came to a realization. The realization that he might’ve fallen for you: his Forky, his best friend.

The loveliest girl he had ever seen.

With Cinderella’s opening night being only a few weeks out, you and Jaehyun decided to fit in extra time together to run lines and songs outside of scheduled rehearsals. That was the plan for every weekend and that particular Saturday was no exception to this plan. When his doorbell rang frantically, Jaehyun groaned loudly before getting up to answer the door. Did you always have to be so obnoxious?

Just as the door swung open, your loud voice boomed into his apartment, “‘Sup, ho! Ready to rehearse the hell out of this show or what?”

He stepped aside to let you in and you immediately made yourself comfortable in his humble abode. Jaehyun almost laughed as he watched you. There was a particular routine you stuck to when visiting his place. First, you would take off your shoes, slip on your personal pair of slippers you left at his house, drop your bag on the kitchen counter, and then open his fridge to raid his food supply.

Precisely as Jaehyun predicted, you waddled to the fridge in your memory-foam duck slippers and stole one of his yakults. He loved how comfortable you were in his home. It was truly a heart-warming sight.  The act itself was extremely domestic and he quite liked the domesticity when it was with you. That flash of you in a wedding gown came back to him and he blushed at the thought. The idea of spending a future together was flooding his brain recently and he didn’t know what to do. 

You weren’t the one he liked. Naeun was but why were you the only person on his mind? Was it wrong to have you in his mind? Naeun wasn’t his girlfriend— they were still getting to know each other. His time with her decreased over time since you had stepped into the role of Ella. He was very fond of you. He always had been. There was this little piece of his heart that was reserved for you but was it because you were his best friend or was it more?

Jaehyun quickly snapped himself out of it. 

“First of all, I’m not a ho,” he said before grabbing a yakult of his own. He poked the straw through the foil a bit too harshly, the liquid splashing over the top. Damn his strength— now half of his drink was gone. “Second, stop slut-shaming me for my dating choices. It’s 2021. If I wanted to be a ho, I could be a ho.”

You rolled your eyes as you took a sip of your drink. “God, I hate you sometimes.”

“You need to stop lying to yourself, I know you’re hopelessly in love with me,” Jaehyun said, pointing his drink towards you. He caught you rolling your eyes at his answer.

“Oh, you’re absolutely right. I am irrevocably in love with you, Jung Jaehyun,” you said sarcastically, dramatically batting your eyelashes his way. Your confession, despite being a sarcastic statement, left his heart racing against time. 

“Alexa, play Hopelessly Devoted to You!” you yelled ironically. 

“Now playing Hopelessly Devoted to You by Olivia Newton-John,” an electronic voice boomed across his living room before the opening notes of the ballad began to play. 

“Shit! I forgot you actually had an Echo,” you jumped, not expecting that at all. Jaehyun chuckled at your reaction, loving how easily you scare. He always thought it was one of your cuter traits. 

“Alexa, stop!” he called. 

Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair. He dragged his feet to his bedroom, knowing you would follow without a word. “I can’t rehearse today, I have to write this damned analysis paper for a class. It’s due in two days.”

“I’m sorry, is that paper more important than your best friend in the entire world?” you pushed from behind him.

“Yes,” he deadpanned, taking a seat at his desk. Jaehyun’s study area was an absolute mess. His notebooks were scattered around the floor, textbooks opened to random pages, and his laptop opened to a google document.  

“That’s a motherfucking lie and you know it.”

“I really can’t rehearse now, Forky,” he sighed.

He glared at you as you theatrically fell onto his bed. The notes spread out on his bed flying to the floor. “Oh, woe is me! Jung Jaehyun cannot give me the time of day to rehearse. What am I to do?”

“Why are you like this?” 

“I’m a theatre student, I’m wired to be this obnoxious,” you said with a straight face. 

He stared at you through narrowed eyes. “I really hate you right now.”

“I know,” you countered with a flat tone. “But in all seriousness, Jaehyun. I won’t take too much of your time. I just wanted to practice our duets a couple of times and then I’ll be out of your hair. Plus, you look like you need a break.”

One look at you and he was a goner. How could he ever say no to his best friend?

“Ugh, fine.”

“Ha, I knew you would cave.”

“Shut up.”

The next hour with you was spent rehearsing the numbers. During the last run-through, Jaehyun suggested going over the blocking and putting their all in it. To act like it was opening night. You swiftly agreed and he played the music from the top.

Jaehyun led you around his room, spinning you across the floor as you sang. The smile on your face was so lovely, he could not take his eyes off your lips. His eyes fluttered to a close and he imagined you in your full costume, downed in your gown, as dainty as a daisy and as graceful as a bird. The thought of you dressed like a princess drove him crazy.

He never thought of Naeun this way. This was different. You were different but why?

Jaehyun opened his eyes to see you smiling so gracefully at him as the song was coming to an end. Just as planned in the show, your gaze flitted to his lips. You leaned closer and he followed, dipping his head to meet you halfway. His heart was skipping to its own beat as he inched down. Your soft lips brushed against his oh-so-gently as he held you in his arms but before the boy could press back, the door to his room swung open.

You broke away from him, shocked at the sudden arrival to see your other friend and Jaehyun’s roommate, Dejun. “Oops, was I interrupting something?” 

“I, uh, I gotta go.” Before you could even stop him, Jaehyun grabbed his wallet and phone off his desk and ran out his room. 

Confusion clouded his senses. Why did he feel empty after you pulled away? Why did he want to kiss you so badly? It was just a stage kiss.

Was it not?

Jaehyun’s door slammed shut behind him, leaving me and Dejun in his room. It wasn’t long before we heard the front door close, too. “Well, that was something,” Dejun said after his roommate shuffled out of the apartment.

“Shut up, Xiao Dejun,” I replied, smacking his arm. 

My friend lifted his arms up in defense before he gave me a pointed stare. “I’m just saying, the two of you looked really into it. It looked great, to be honest with you. No notes to give here— I’m sure O’Hare and Lau would say the same.”

“It’s just acting,” I tried to shrug it off. 

“Stop lying to yourself.”

“I’m not!”

“Bulltshit. I saw the way he looked at you— that’s not acting, twerp,” Dejun declared, his voice dropping. His voice never dipped in tone unless he was serious and in that moment, he was dead serious. My friend sounded like a frustrated tutor deliberately explaining a concept for the fifth time and I was the stubborn student who just didn’t understand.

“Yes, yes it is!”

“No, it’s not because that’s how he always looked at you!” 

“Lies!” I yelled accusingly, “We got Liza Minnelli over here!” 

“God, you’re so annoying sometimes! Why won’t you confess? Cat got your tongue? Nothing’s really stopped your sharp tongue before,” Dejun groaned at my stubbornness. He slapped a hand onto my shoulder. I tried to shrug him off but his grip was too strong. Maybe it was him trying to help me get a grip. Who knew? I honestly didn’t. 

“It’s not like I haven’t tried, you know?” An exasperated answer left my lips. I was tired. So ridiculously tired of dealing with these feelings for my best friend. It had been four years since I fell for him. Four years of trying to see other people, four years of trying to confess, and four long years of failing every time.  “I just freeze up like a deer in headlights or like you did when you performed that one monologue sophomore year in voice and movement class. Remember that, Jun?”

I felt his sharp glare burning a hole in my back. “You promised to never talk about that moment, you traitor,” he hissed, his hand squeezing the hell out of my shoulder. 

“Okay yeah but you get the point, right?” My nails dug into his skin, leaving little indents onto his hand. He yelped, finally jerking his hand back to examine it. Shaking my head, I added, “Plus, he’s my best friend. I just can’t do it!”

“So, what you’re saying is that you choose friendship over the possibility of him loving you?” 

“It’s just...I don’t know—” I started, shifting my body to face him, “—choosing friendship means that I’ll only lose love. But if I chose to confess and put my feelings out there, I could lose him as a potential lover and my best friend. I’m not prepared for that. I don’t think I ever will be.”

And there it was again. The self-doubt hit me, imposter syndrome resurfacing at an all time high, bringing me to the lowest of lows. 

The feeling of being a fraud, of being not good enough. 

For Jaehyun. For any love interest for that matter. For the role of Ella. For taking my place under the spotlight. 

“Dejun?”

“Hmm?”

“Am I—am I good enough?”

“For?”

“I—I don’t know—” I stuttered as my mind was consumed by my own crippling thoughts. I tried to stay strong but the crack in my voice gave me away, “—for anything? Everything?” 

“Oh, twerp,” Dejun said in that particular voice and then that was when the floodgates opened. The tears just came pouring down with no sign of stopping. My friend gently pulled me into his comforting arms. They were snug and I felt safe but not as safe as I did in Jaehyun’s hold.

“You, my darling, are definitely good enough. Don’t let your thoughts tell you otherwise.” Although his voice was comforting, it did not help the unhinged thoughts running through my brain. 

“Then, why does it always hurt when I don’t get the role of the leading lady? Of his leading lady? I always get so far and then, at the end of the day, I’m just not what they’re looking for. What he’s looking for.” Pining for something so unimaginable was too taxing. Having the lead role in a play and having Jung Jaehyun wear his heart on his sleeve just for me. 

“Sometimes, the roles aren’t made for you and that’s okay.”

“But what about this one?”

“This one, twerp, this one is a little different.” 

“And why’s that?”

“Because there is music in you; it goes hand in hand with Jaehyun, like a melody to his harmony. You are his Ella and he’s your Topher,” Dejun urged. It was like he was begging me to not give up hope. 

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m really not. You just gotta do what the theatre gods tell us to do: just trust the process.” 

How could I trust the process when all it did was hurt me by allowing me to have a glimpse of a love and a life that would never be mine? 

Opening night finally arrived. Everyone was called to the theatre for a full run through in the afternoon: the final dress rehearsal hours before the doors opened and the curtains were drawn. I had gotten there earlier to soak in the calmness of the empty auditorium before the chaos began.

I heard heavy footsteps come from behind me. Even without turning around, I knew it to be Jaehyun. The boy took a seat next to me on the wooden prop walls that were locked into the ground. If the stage managers and props committee saw us, they would’ve definitely ripped our heads off but they weren’t— it was just us.  

“Penny for your thoughts, my dear Ella?”

“Topher,” I answered, playing along with his game. “Lovely to see you here bright at early.”

“I knew you would be here and I wanted to be here with you,” he said, pulling me into a side hug. Jaehyun knew me well but did he know me well enough? “Spill it, Forky. What’s wrong?”

“Sometimes I still doubt myself,” I said a little too fast. A loud sigh followed my reveal. The crippling doubt was always there, haunting me. Let me tell you, it was not the best thing in the world to have during an opening for a new production. 

“Oh yeah?” Jaehyun asked, pushing me to continue. I felt the soft brush of his palm against my hand. His fingers grabbed hold of my wrist before fighting their way to tangle with my own fingers. The sensation tickled, taking me away from my thoughts for a fraction of a second. I played with his fingers, watching the way his pinkish hand fit with mine. 

I refused to look at him; I was too afraid of breaking down.“Doubting myself, my abilities. Always the understudy, never the star, remember?”

Jaehyun hummed. He rested his chin on my shoulder. “Did something change?”

“Yeah, I finally realized that maybe it wasn’t that I wasn’t right for the part; the part wasn’t right for me,” I laughed a bit dryly. “Does that make any sense?” 

“Weirdly, yes,” he replied, his breath blowing against my neck. I tried to ignore the tickling sensation and the way it made me feel. 

“But this is different— I feel like I was made to play Ella. Made to play her even though I got the part in this odd, unconventional way,” I turned my head to the side to avoid eye contact. “The girl who sees the good in everything despite the hardships and suffering she went through.”

“Without a doubt, I believe that you belong on stage with me,” Jaehyun answered sincerely, “and I’m glad we have the chance to finally play opposites.” 

He squeezed my smaller palm in support. I appreciated the reassurance; the action slightly calmed me down before she took the next step. Possibly the biggest step of my entire life. “There’s something else I realized, too.”

“Oh yeah, what’s that?” Jaehyun asked softly. 

Taking a deep breath, I said, “I realized that I could be right for you.” 

It took him a minute, a long solid minute before Jaehyun could bring himself to respond to my confession. I wondered what he was thinking at that moment, when those words left my mouth. “Right for me?” came his tentative reply. A quick glimpse at his ears and I saw the burst of red. He was caught off guard, embarrassed. 

“Yeah,” I said almost shamefully. Was I ashamed of my feelings? I never was ashamed before. Maybe it was because Jaehyun finally saw me for who I truly was— his highly dramatic best friend that was head over glass heels for him. 

“How long— how long have you felt this way?” The red of his ears seeped to his rosy cheeks. 

“Ever since we were a dumb pair of utensils,” I replied sincerely, my voice wavering at the truth, “a set of ridiculous tableware.”

There was an awkward chuckle that left his drying lips. I heard him click his tongue, a habit he did when Jaehyun never knew what to say. It seemed like I rendered him speechless. “Since we were sixteen? That long and you didn’t say anything?”

“You’re really asking me that?”

“Yes, I really am!”

“Jaehyun, c’mon. Use your brain! How was I supposed to? You’re my best friend and when you’re not my best friend, you’re out there chasing other girls,” I stopped to lick my drying lips. There was another inkling of silence and I gulped at how tense the atmosphere was. “And I thought maybe once, just once, you would chase after me, too.” 

I almost laughed; my greatest desire was finally out in the world and it was greeted by silence. 

“But what if I’m wrong for you?” 

And there it was. The rejection I was preparing for. Giving him a pained smile that failed to meet my ears, I said, “Then that’s life, I guess.”

“You guess?” 

“Well, I can’t make you act like you’re in love with me, can I?” I snapped, my pain taking the best of me. It clouded my brain, blocking off all rational thoughts out of my head. “This isn’t a play or a movie with a script, Jaehyun. This is real fucking life.” 

Hurt. I was being overwhelmed with a wave of hurt and anguish. My body was trembling as much as my eyes were. I felt them growing wet and I shut them closed. My hands curled into fists, nails digging into my skin. It stung but not as much as being rejected by the one you loved most. The lead of the movie in your mind. 

“Wait, no, that’s not what I meant,” Jaehyun tried to stop me from getting off the stage. I pulled away from him, quickly snatching my belongings before heading to the nearest exit. Turning back around before I left the empty auditorium, I experienced another moment in slow-motion. 

There Jaehyun was in all his glory— denim jacket slipping over his broad shoulders, dark brown hair sticking up in all directions and a confused look on his face. He looked like a mess under the spotlight of my mind but nevertheless, he was my mess of a best friend.

He was my mess of a best friend and that was all he was going to be. That fact hurt more than being the forever understudy. 

Why couldn’t I fast forward this portion of my life? Why must I suffer this much?

Why couldn’t I escape the role of being second best?

If only my life was a movie, then maybe I wouldn’t be everyone’s second choice. His second choice.

If we were in a movie, Jung Jaehyun would be my best friend and my perfect match. Our story would be the typical friends-to-lovers saga that every girl dreams of. It would end happily with the credits rolling to a perfectly timed soundtrack. 

Too bad this wasn’t a movie— this was real life and life came with complications.

After that confrontation, you and Jaehyun were off and not off the charts— just off. The directors noticed it. The stage hands noticed. The cast noticed it. The final run-through before the curtains opened just finished and it was an absolute disaster because of the way you acted with Jaehyun. Every time he opened up his body to you, the response you gave him was closed off. Cold. 

To the rest of the cast and crew, the prince and princess didn’t seem very much in love that day— they didn’t even seem friendly. You and Jaehyun seemed like two strangers trying to work their way across a stage. There was no connection. There was nothing else there. 

Now, if only you would let Jaehyun talk to you, maybe something would change but you didn’t. You ran away every chance you could. It was like Cinderella, but you didn’t leave a glass slipper behind. You didn’t leave anything behind. 

Less than an hour before showtime and he couldn’t even talk to you. Let alone look at you. He sighed into his hand, palms applying pressure to his eyes. Jaehyun cursed under his breath, forgetting that he had a heavy amount of stage makeup on his face. Looking into the mirror, he saw his makeup was still intact. Thank the theatre gods for the Ben Nye Final Seal Setter. It seemed like that it was the only thing set in stone at that moment. 

The door to Jaehyun’s dressing room slammed open and Dejun waltzed in, fully dressed in his costume.“Dude, what was up with you and the twerp during that dress rehearsal? You were so off!”

He received no reply, Jaehyun was too zoned out to hear. Dejun hopped onto the counter of Jaehyun’s dresser. Usually, the action would shock the main lead but Jaehyun was too lost in thought.“Well, you know what they say about a bad dress rehearsal. That means we’ll have a good opening night,” Dejun said, eyeing his friend for his lack of response.

Finally looking away from his reflection, Jaehyun glanced up at Dejun with a look of disbelief. “She likes me?”

His friend jumped off the counter with widened eyes.“Oh my god, did she finally confess? Was that why you were acting weird?”

“Dejun, you knew?” Jaehyun slammed his palms on his dresser. The makeup products on the tabletop shook, leaving the other guy to wince at the show of strength. 

“Honestly for being the ace of the theatre department, you sure are dumb,” Dejun replied a bit too casually as he leaned into the mirror to examine his appearance. He clicked his tongue upon realizing his cheeks didn’t have enough color. The stage lights would wash him out. The boy reached for Jaehyun’s pink blush and a clean wedge before applying it onto the apples of his cheeks.

“What should I do?”

“Well, Jaehyun, what do you want to do?” Dejun asked, turning side to side to double-check his reflection. 

“I don’t know that’s why I’m asking you!” Jaehyun fired back with vigor, hating how casual his best friend was acting. He was having a before-show crisis and his best friend was calmly stealing his bottle of Ben Nye, spraying his beautifully sculpted face with the setting spray.

“Well, do you like her more than a friend? And what about Naeun?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know! But—”

“But?” His friend asked before hopping onto the countertop. The actor raised his perfectly shaped eyebrows at his friend and Jaehyun had the sudden urge to pluck the beauties they were until Dejun had no eyebrow hair left. When Jaehyun didn’t reply, Dejun repeated his question.

Dropping his head in his hands, Jaehyun hesitantly replied, “There was this moment when I saw her and it was like that thing she always said? The slo-mo thing?”

Dejun’s head perked up. “You saw her in slow motion?” 

“Yeah, it was like time stopped. All I saw was her and then…” Jaehyun thought back to seeing you in a wedding dress. He changed his mind; he didn’t want to talk about his feelings. All he wanted to do was make sure opening night ran as smoothly as possible. Grabbing his white suit jacket for the top of Act One, the boy stood up in an attempt to escape his friend’s sudden peak in curiosity. “Never mind, this is ridiculous. I gotta go, Dejun.” 

“No, you’re not going anywhere until you actually confront your damn feelings,” Dejun said, shoving his friend back in his chair. “Do you like Naeun?”

There was a pause before he answered truthfully: “Yes.”

“Okay, and are your feelings for Naeun stronger than what you have for your best friend?” 

“No,” Jaehyun released another sigh as he leaned back in his chair. A hand reached up to brush through his hair before he remembered that it was gelled back in place. He dropped his hand to rub the back of his neck, not wanting to mess with his looks before places. “I was infatuated with Naeun but with her, god, she’s something else and it took me this long to realize it.”

“How do I know you’re not just saying that?” Dejun questioned, squeezing his friend’s shoulders a bit too tightly. Jaehyun thought his friend was testing him and for a good reason. If he was in Dejun’s position, Jaehyun would’ve grilled his friend, too. “How do I know you’re actually in love with her? Yes, you’re my roommate and best friend but she’s my best friend, too. I can’t let you hurt her if all you feel is something temporary. I can’t let you treat her like those other girls.”

“Because she’s The One, Dejun. I’m certain of it,” Jaehyun snapped back. “When I look at her, I see everything I’ve been searching for. It’s like I was blind for the longest time, you know? She was always just Forky to me back when I didn’t know any better. But now I see and all I see is her— her, with all her flaws. The way she hides her insecurities with her dramatic outbursts. How she picks at her cuticles when she’s nervous or how she always steals my food at home. And the way she just fits with me. I can’t explain it.”

Jaehyun didn’t even give his friend a chance to butt in. He was still rambling on with a fond smile, his mouth running a mile. “She’s been there with me since the beginning, Jun. Before I was this prince of the theatre department, she was there. She’s been there since the beginning and even when I was chasing after girls, she was there at the middle of it all, and fuck, I want to go all the way to the end with her.”

Dejun released his hold on his friend and rolled his eyes. The boy made his way to the door of the dressing room before mumbling under his breath, “God, what is with you two and giving out monologues? I swear, when this is all over, you should become playwrights.”

“What?”

“Never mind me, Jaehyun,” Dejun opened the door and gestured for Jaehyun to follow the path— the path down the hall that led to you. “What are you waiting for? Go get her, we have 30 until Joohyun calls for places!”

“Dejun, it’s much more complicated than that.”

“It’s only as complicated as you make it out to be. Just— just go and talk to her, yeah?”

Jaehyun sighed deeply as he reached your dressing room door. He knocked lightly, running through the lines he wanted to say in his head before you shouted a faint “come in.” The door squeaked open to reveal you, his best friend in the whole entire world, touching up your makeup. The best friend that he was inescapably in love with. You watched him through the mirror as he leaned against the frame with crossed arms. 

“Can we talk after the show? There’s something I need to tell you— it’s important. I don’t think I—um, I have enough time to tell you now,” Jaehyun asked, stuttering through his words. Gone was the confidence he usually bared. The only thing left in him was a scared little boy, afraid of the problem his words may cause. 

The smile he received from you did not reach your ears. “Of course,” you replied curtly before turning away from him. He noted how you were over applying your blush and fidgeting with your costume. You were doing everything in your power to avoid him. 

The tugging of your ear, the biting of your lip, the picking of your cuticles. He saw all your bad habits. You were a ball of nerves and the speaker announced it was ten minutes before places.

“Hey, Forky?”

“Yes, Jaehyun?”

“You know that I believe in you, right? Always?”

There was a twitch at the corner of your lips. “I do.”

“Good,” Jaehyun approached you with caution. You watched him from your mirror, never making direct eye contact as he came closer. He dropped a kiss on the crown on your head, relishing in the way his plush lips against your torn bandana and the lace front wig. “Break a leg, my Ella.”

He observed you through your reflection and took in how beautiful you looked in your rags. You made the rags the costume department designed for you look like riches. 

“Same goes to you, my prince,” he heard you answer in that soft tone.  Again, you had sent him to the skies and the boy was struggling to find his way back down.

When it was time to draw the curtains and light the lights for the first performance of Cinderella, it seemed like everything fell into place.  Jaehyun stared at you across the stage, falling for the way the lights illuminated your figure in that white ball gown. The bright glow brought his attention to your bright grin, that beautiful and radiant smile of yours, that shocked him to his core. 

Jaehyun locked eyes with you and suddenly, he was drowning. He was drowning in your expressive eyes. He was drowning in your overflowing love. 

It was different being across from you in front of a full audience. There was a rush that took over him whenever he saw you and it beat the flurries his heart experienced with his other leading ladies. As you said your lines with that bewitching sparkle in your eye, Jaehyun hated himself for not realizing how much he loved you sooner or how you were never playing pretend. 

But that was okay because Jung Jaehyun loved you now. He loved you in the world you made believe on stage, where he was Prince Topher and you were his Ella, and he loved you in reality where you would always be the fork to his spoon. 

Opening night went smoothly and the roaring applause I received during my final bow sent me to the moon. The way Jaehyun looked at me across the stage with eyes filled with pride and joy blasted me to places I had never been before. I became high on this feeling of being under the burning spotlights. The feeling of wearing the most intricate costume and the way his hand slid into mine for the last bow before the curtains were drawn; it was something I wanted to treasure for the rest of my life.

But with every high came a low— my low hit me when I ran into Jaehyun’s dressing room. I caught him in an embrace with Naeun who gifted my best friend with a rose. She placed a kiss on his cheek, causing his white ears to flush a deep red that rivaled the flower he held. The girl gave him a quick shove of the shoulder before heading to me. 

Her congratulatory statement went in one ear and out the other. I could barely process Naeun handing me a rose of my own before she walked out of the room, the sweet scent of her perfume lingering in her wake. She gave my best friend one more lingering look as she left and it hurt me in so many ways.

“Ready to go?” Jaehyun said, clearing his throat. “Wanna stop by the stage first? Soak in your first opening night as a lead?”

“Why the hell not?” The walk back to the stage was short. It felt different somehow.

“We did it,” I whispered.

“That we did,” he answered back. 

We walked onto the stage together and I could still hear the crowds cheering for me, giving me the standing ovation I earned. It was electrifying, the way the sparks ran through my body. It ran from the top of my head to the tips of my fingers and toes. 

Glancing around the empty auditorium, I pondered aloud, “But do you know what sucks about it all, Jaehyun?”

“What?”

“There’s nothing worse than the feeling of not being chosen and it still hurts that I wasn’t the first choice,” I replied truthfully, “Not as much as before. But I’m learning to get over it. The casting directors saw potential in me.”

“That’s because you do have the potential to be a star. You’re practically glowing right now.” I felt his eyes trained on me, just like they were the entire time we shared the stage. 

Turning abruptly to face him, I said, “You really can’t say that to me, you know?”

“And why’s that?”

“Because it makes my heart beat against my chest and these stupid butterflies come around before I remember that you have never chosen me to be your first choice,” I glared. 

“But I do choose you,” Jaehyun pushed, his voice laced with desperation, “That’s what I was trying to tell you before you stormed off on me earlier!”

“Are you really choosing me, Jaehyun? The real me? The me that has been your best friend for years? Or are you choosing the me that shares a stage with you every night? The me that could potentially be your next whirlwind romance?” No matter how desperate he sounded, he couldn’t beat the hopelessness that was dripping from my own voice. 

“No, that’s not it at all!” his voice boomed, the sound echoing throughout the empty auditorium. 

“Then, what is it, Jung Jaehyun? Because I am tired of being second best and I’m tired of not being chosen,” I almost cried. The anguish was just taking over my body and I couldn’t make it stop. “Yes, I know some parts are not right for me but I can’t help but be hurt. And then you say that you’re choosing me? Of course, I’m going to think of it being because I’m your newest love interest on stage.”

“If you could just listen—”

Unable to stop the words from coming out, I just kept running off at the mouth. Everything I wanted to say to Jaehyun was flying out of my lips at rapid speed; I couldn’t even stop it. “I have seen you in slow motion so many times and I want to just fast forward from those moments. To speed past them so I can move on from the idea of not being yours. I refuse to be a temporary love that you lose interest in. I just want you to pick me, to choose me, and to love me, damn it— is that too fucking much to ask for? To be chosen and loved?”

While I was taking a breath to continue with my rant, Jaehyun cut me off and the words he said rattled the stage, the ground beneath my feet, and my whole entire world.“No, it’s not and you are way fucking more than that, if you just take a moment out of your godforsaken monologue and listen to me! I choose you not because you’re my leading lady but because you’re you. You’ve always been this— this incredible, breathtaking you.” 

He took one step closer and I took one step back. “And you’ve the person at my side when no one else is.” 

Every single time I would retreat, Jaehyun would follow. The boy was persistent, his brown eyes trained on me. “The one who figured out you loved me first while I was too blind to see it. You’re the fork to my spoon. We’re a set, we go together. And I was too dumb to figure out that at the end of the day, I always think about you and how no one I’ve ever been with compares to you.”

 When my back hit the wall, I was trapped. Trapped in between his arms and the way they propped themselves on either side of my face. Trapped in the haze of his brown eyes and how they dug deep into my soul. 

 “I don’t see you in slow motion— I see you in fast forward. I see you in the future, my future, walking down the aisle in white and I don’t even know what I’m saying anymore. All I know is that I choose you. I will always choose you.”  

I was trapped by Jung Jaehyun and there was no escape for me. Judging by the way his eyes never let me out of his sight, there was a chance my friend didn’t want to let me go either. He wanted me to stay. 

“Jaehyun, what are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I love you. You’re my beginning, middle, and my end.”

“You love me? Like you’re in love with me?” Jaehyun heard you ask, like the possibility of being loved by him was so impossible. You were searching for any inkling of doubt but he made sure you couldn’t find any because you were the only thing he could see. 

Jaehyun brought a hand near your cheek. It hovered there as he hesitated to touch it to your skin until you leaned into his touch. Your cheek felt so warm in his palm and it was so comforting to have you in his hold. “I wanted to say it earlier but I was just so scared of losing you as both a lover and a friend because what if it all goes to shit? What if we go to shit and things hit the fan? I can’t lose you.” 

“But you, Jung Jaehyun, are in love with me?” you repeated as your hand cupped his own. The smile you gave him was bright enough to light up the stage. 

“Yeah, I thought I made that clear. I’m sorry, did I mumble that line?” he teased playfully, trying to coerce a giggle out of you. “Should I start the scene over?”

“No, no. I’m just—” you paused and he watched you recollect your thoughts. His glittering brown eyes were trained on you as the words processed in your head. “You love me,” you laughed in disbelief. 

Jaehyun took a step closer, his hand tentatively reaching out to stroke your face. He sighed in relief as you relaxed into his touch. “You’re my number one girl. I choose you.” 

“Well, it’s a good thing that even after all this time, I’ve always chosen you, too.”

Once those words left your lips, he couldn’t hold himself back. Wrapping his arms around your waist, Jaehyun pulled you against his chest and smashed his lips against yours. Yes, he had kissed you on multiple occasions prior to this— onstage and off— but this time was different than the rest.

 This was the first time he really kissed you after your feelings were out in the open.

The first time he kissed you and finally felt the love you harbored for so many years. Jaehyun just hoped you could sense the love he was pouring out for you, too. 

He did not want to let you go but he was struggling to breathe. You were so lovely, everything about you was so incredibly lovely, and to have you in his arms was the best feeling in the universe. Everything around him turned dark and he felt the warmth of a spotlight and the flush of your body against him. The entire world was spinning beneath his feet, his heart racing, and his lips chasing you and only you. 

Jaehyun did not understand why people did drugs— the high of being so ardently in love with another person, with you, gave him the high that he needed. 

He felt you hit his chest in an attempt to end the kiss but Jaehyun did not want to stop. A light shove to his shoulders was enough to separate his lips from yours and what a sight you were— chest panting heavily for air, lips plumped and swollen, and the prettiest set of eyes widened in shock.

“You kissed me!” you said in between pants. “Like not a stage kiss but you actually kissed me!”

“That I did, love,” Jaehyun replied cheekily, taking another step towards you. You stepped back to lean against the wall but did nothing to stop him from coming forward. “Are you gonna do something about it?” 

The look in your eyes changed after you heard his new nickname for you. It was coy. Flirty. Challenging. “Do it again, I dare you,” you whispered a bit too loudly. 

Before Jaehyun closed the distance, his eyebrow perked up at the challenge. “Gladly.”

Senior year was there before we knew it. 

Another year, another posting day. 

Dejun, Jaehyun, and I swiftly made our way down the hall to the front of the theatre department, curious to find out which roles we were given. The spring production and the final musical of our college career was Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. 

Callbacks for Belle went as smooth as ever— the chemistry between Jaehyun and I were off the charts. But why wouldn’t they be? We were together now. 

Just like any other time, the crowds gathering around the cast list and bulletin board parted immediately once they caught a glimpse of Jaehyun approaching. The only difference was that this time, he was tightly clutching my hand. 

When we arrived in front of the board, I shut my eyes before I could read the cast list. An anxious buzz flowed through my veins, tickling the tips of my fingers and toes. My boyfriend must’ve felt the twitching of my fingers or the sweat dripping off my palms. 

I felt his body shift towards me. “Want me to take a peek first, love?” Jaehyun asked as he pressed his plump lips onto the crown of my head. He nuzzled his nose into my hair, a small but sweet action that always comforted me. 

Shaking my head, I looked at him and said, “No, why don’t we look together?”

“On three?” he grinned lovingly.

“On three, you dumb spoon.”

The countdown was quick but the glance I took at the cast list was even quicker. It was so quick, I almost didn’t catch who was put into the role of Belle. Taking a double take, I let go of Jaehyun’s hand as my eyes zeroed in onto the tiny print. 

Everything around me came to a stop as I read and re-read the cast list. Everyone around me was celebrating their parts but I couldn’t hear them, they were all muted in my mind. All I could hear was the sound of my own breaths  and all I could see my name on the top of the page. 

Belle……………..Y/N The Beast……..Jung Jaehyun

“Oh my god, I got the part,” I whispered to no one in particular. Backing away from the board, I repeated the same words a little louder and it got the attention of everyone surrounding me. Before I knew it, everyone threw a congratulations my way. The cheers were loud and obnoxious but they were for me because I did it. I finally did it.

Feeling a little overwhelmed, I backed away from the blustering crowd before bumping into my boyfriend’s firm chest. Jaehyun caught me in his hold, his arms circling around my waist. He dropped his chin on my shoulder and placed a tender kiss on my temple. “Would you look at that? We’re not a ridiculous set of tableware this time.”

“No disrespect to those parts, they were awesome, but I think I like this a lot more,” I giggled, turning in his hold. 

As I circled my arms around his neck, he whispered, “Same here.”

I yanked him down into an earth-shattering kiss that sent the world spinning beneath my feet. It slowed down, speeded up, and it did everything in between. I saw flashes of yellow ball gowns, royal blue coats, and Jaehyun smiling at me gracefully across the stage. 

Jaehyun staring me down from the other end of an altar. 

I saw it all. 

If my life was a movie, then this would be the time that the screen would fade to black and show the names. Some overly poppy song would resonate through the speakers and everyone would get up from their seats and gush over the happy ending.

But it wasn’t. My life was as real as it could be and it was even better than any romantic-comedy that would ever grace the screen. 

This wasn’t the ending. 

This was the perfect beginning. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE. hello, my darling readers! you really didn’t have to wait that long for this release, did you? a big thank you to several people: @johtenrecs for always being my beta and for the helpful feedback, to my chaotic gc ( @smoll-tangerine, @ppangjae, @jaedore​, and @jeongvision) for listening to me complain about how i was losing it while writing this fic, to @suhpressed​ for helping me with brainstorm, and lastly, to my lovely @notnctu bc without her and our crazy idea of hosting a hannah montana collab, i wouldn’t have gotten this idea! love y’all! hope you enjoyed this and please leave feedback! uwu

TAGLIST. @yasmini24 @jaehyunnie77 @emmybyeakitty @fluffyjaes @aevizen @dearjaehyxn @yourmagnanimousholiness @jaehyvnsvalentine @keemburley @softieus @lanadreamie @lebrookestore  @notmangojuice @felixn-recs @captainsjoongs @anotherfullsun @ukiyoneo @kunrengui​ @babyyynatty​ 

© sehunniepotwrites, 2021

[beels-burger-babe]

The Façade of the Suitor - Pt. 2

***Wow! You guys are really digging this series! Thank you so much for your support 🥰🥰🥰 I don't get to share OCs often, so it's really reassuring to see you guys take to Harlow. She's a character, that's for sure 😅😅 Thanks for all the love! - B*** Summary: MC catches the eye of Lady Harlow, a higher demoness who has had a small feud with the brothers for centuries. She's determined to steal MC from them and keep MC under her wing. The brothers, however, are determined not to let that happen. Part 1, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

After a week had passed since the ball, Lucifer had dared to hope that maybe that had been the end of things and that Harlow would just leave him and you alone. But fate had never been on his side. A letter arrived in the mail, sealed with a horrifyingly familiar purple stamp and her nauseating fragrance. It was, of course, addressed to you.

Lucifer's nose wrinkled in distaste. He'd have to dispose of this before you ever caught sight of it. He had turned to do exactly that when he bumped into Satan and dropped the letter. Satan sighed and bent down to pick it up. "I thought that you of all people would be capable of watching where you're," he stopped short as he finally looked at the letter. Satan's jaw clenched as he looked back at Lucifer. "Why in Diavolo's name are you in contact with her again?" Lucifer sighed and tried to take the letter back, Satan stepped out of his reach. He glared at the angry demon. "Not that it's any of your business-" "Not my business?!" Satan snapped before Lucifer could finish his explanation. "She turned you against all of us and nearly tore this family a part and you don't think it's my business if you're in contact with that- that- that snake again?!"

Lucifer growled at the reminder of his past failure. "If I had a choice, I would wipe her foul existence from the face of this realm, but I can't. I loath that woman as much as you do. The letter isn't addressed to me. It's to MC."

Satan's eyes widened and quickly looked down at the letter, seeing your name scrawled in her disgustingly perfect cursive font. He dropped the letter as though it had burned him. "We can't let them see this. Harlow shouldn't even know MC exists! How the fuck did this happen?"

Lucifer picked up the letter, " The exchange program ball. Near the end of the evening, MC and I were relaxing near a wall and Harlow approached us." Satan looked at his brother as though he had two heads. "And you just let her?" This quickly earned the younger demon another glare. "We were at a public event where I was representing our House and Diavolo and MC was representing the human realm. There wasn't much I could do without causing a scene." Satan rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. "Of course! You'd let Harlow sink her claws into MC just so you can protect your reputation. I forgot who I was talking to for a moment." Beel stepped out of the kitchen and into the room at the sound of the yelling. "What's going on?" "Noth-" "Harlow's trying to get to MC." The "father and son" duo sneered at each other. Beel's eyes widened as his face paled. "Well, we aren't going to let her, right? We can stop her this time. Now we know her tricks. It won't be like last time?" he was staring directly at Lucifer. The eldest felt his stomach twist and churn guiltily at the desperation in Beel's stare. They all knew from experience just how cunning and manipulative Harlow could be. She had targeted Lucifer specifically, and because he let down his guard, his whole family soon became infected by the demoness venom. He refused to let the same happen to you. Lucifer turned on his heel and threw the letter into the fireplace. The three brothers watched as it slowly was consumed by the flames and turned to ash. "Tell the others about what happened. There's no doubt that Harlow will attempt to reach MC again. It's our duty to stop that from happening," Lucifer spoke up. Beel nodded right away before taking off to obey the command. Satan sighed and glanced at Lucifer, "You know this won't stop her. She'll figure out a way to get to MC." Lucifer continued watching the flames. The fire's glow reflecting in his obsidian eyes like a memory flickering in the darkness. "Maybe so, but at the very least it will give us time to come up with a plan on what to do when she does." In the end, Satan had been right. The brothers worked tirelessly together to intercept any letters, bouquets, or baskets that had been sent for you. Asmo kept a collection of the bouquets and gifts in his room, and simply told you that they were objects of admiration from his fans. You had walked in on Beel shuffling through the mail one day, and he had managed to fluster out an excuse before hurrying out of the room and shoving the most recent letter into his mouth. Mammon became even clingier than usual and was always by your side. Although he was physically with you, his mind and eyes were always looking around you for any signs of the demoness that he was trying to avoid. Satan had worked with Solomon to put an enchantment on the House's gates that caused anything that had recently touched Harlow's hands to be incinerated as it passed through the gate. Levi had been forcing you to watch the top ten anime betrayals and any anime with a manipulative or toxic antagonist in hopes that it would help you recognize them in Harlow if she ever got to you and that you would do the right thing and choose your real best friend him (and I suppose the others as well). Belphegor would purposefully fall asleep on you as much as possible to prevent you from leaving the House and therefore heightening the risk of Harlow coming to meet you personally. Lucifer had begun to do his own research on Harlow, once more, and was looking back on his own past experiences with the demoness to gain wisdom on how to outwit her. Despite all of their efforts, it wasn't enough. You came down to breakfast, looking complexed but intrigued as you held a piece of paper with a dreadfully purple broken seal on the top. The brothers froze as Harlow's familiar perfume reached their noses. Levi swallowed his food as he looked at you nervously. "M-MC, what...what do you have there?" You blinked up at them and held up the paper. "It's a letter from

Lady Harlow. A bat flew through my window this morning with this attached to its foot. According to the letter, she's tried more normal means of communication, but had no luck. Hmm, I wonder why?" you pondered out loud as you continued reading the letter. The brothers exchanged worried looks. Lucifer straightened his posture. "What else does it say?" You barely looked over at him as you responded. "Oh, she has invited me to a private luncheon at her manor. Apparently, she'd like to get to know me better." Your words caused everyone at the table to stiffen. "Seems suspicious to me," Belphie stated as he rested his head on your shoulder. "You shouldn't go. She's probably planning to kill you or something but is just pretending to be nice to get you to let your guard down." You smirked down at him. "Hmmm, sounds familiar," despite your joking tone, you noticed the room tense and Belphie looked away in shame. You frowned and placed a hand on his arm. "I...I was joking, Belphie. You know I've forgiven you for that. You've proved that you've changed. We're okay," you looked around at the others, finally picking up on the tension in the room. "What's going on? Why is everyone acting so weird?" Satan sighed and met your eyes. "Harlow is the Lady of Manipulation. She thrives off of playing with others' emotions and desires to get her own twisted wants." "She's dangerous," Lucifer added. You were shocked to see that he was seemingly unable to meet your eyes. Instead, he stared at his plate as though lost in a memory. "She's incredibly skilled at what she does and will worm her way into your thoughts before you're even aware of what's happening. She's cunning and sly," he finally lifted his head to look at you. You shivered at the intense urgency and regret in his gaze. "Lady Harlow is not one that you should give even a second of your time to. If you give her even a single inch, she will take a mile." You frowned and looked back at the letter. It was filled with so many kind words and eloquent phrasing. She had seemed nice enough at the ball, and she went through all this trouble just to send you an invitation. "Thank you for the warning," you spoke sincerely as you looked at the others. "I'll be sure to keep your words in mind and be careful." Mammon scoffed and crossed his arms. "You make it sound as if you're going." "I am." The room burst into a mix of angry proclamations, commands that you were not going, and pleas for you to listen to them. You smiled sympathetically at the brothers. "I know you're worried, but it would be extremely rude to reject a personal invitation like this from a noble, especially after all the effort she went through to have it delivered. I should at least go to see what she wants. I'll have my D.D.D. on me and you can guys can ask me all the questions you want as soon as I get back." Lucifer's eyes searched your expression in a mix of frustration and desperation. "MC did you not hear a single word I just said? One visit is all she'll need. I really must urge you not-" "Lucifer stop," the room fell silent as Lucifer's mouth snapped shut. His gaze hardened at your use of a command. You sighed and ran a hand over your face. "I'm sorry, but this isn't your choice. I know you seem to have...something going on with Harlow, and I will take caution from your words during my visit. But I'm sure I'll be fine. I live with and have befriended seven of the most powerful demons in the Devildom. What's a silly noblewoman going to do to me?" You gently lifted Belphie's head off of you and rose. "I should get ready for the school day. I'm sorry guys. I'll see you all later." As you left, a small piece of hope from within the brothers left with you. Lucifer snarled and downed a glass of wine. "Right," he said bitterly and looked over at Satan, "onto plan c."

*** I hope you guys enjoyed it! I promise you will find out exactly what went down between Harlow and the brothers later on. But for now, let the games begin 😈 Thanks again for all the support and love you've all been giving this series!***

Taglist: @cosmixbun @sufzku @simeonspebble @lovevictoire @obey-mes-treasure @kissed-by-a-dementor @yukihaie @justtiarra @mammoneybb @obeys-world @peachyeevee13 @otome-scribbles @azureusmoonie @poly-bi-mf

[ijustwant2write]

‘I want that with you’-Anthony Bridgerton x Reader

(GIF credit to @misskatesharma​)

Requested by @elennox03: ‘I’d like to request an Anthony Bridgerton x read imagine. I’m a huge sucker for husband!anthony. Can you write an imagine where Anthony and his wife are visiting the Bridgerton house and he sees his wife with his youngest sibilings and he realizes he wants to be a dad. When they leave and go back to their house he admits to her that he wants a kid and it’s really fluffy and maybe a little smutty? 🥺’

Characters: Anthony Bridgerton x Reader, Bridgerton family x Reader

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: LOTS OF FLUFF, SMUT

                                    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Anthony sat at the table, newspaper in hand as he waited for his wife to join him for breakfast. The servants were ready to serve the food as soon as the Viscountess sat down. Anthony was engrossed in the headlines of the day, until he heard someone descending the stairs. He hoped it was his wife, smiling when he saw the doors being opened for her in his peripheral. 

“Good morning darling.” he greeted.

“Good morning. Sorry to keep you waiting, last time we visited your family I promised Hyacinth I would wear this dress, it is her favourite.” she approached him, kissing him on the forehead before taking her seat, where a servant pushed it in for her. 

“No bother, we shall still be there on time.” Anthony put down the newspaper as breakfast was laid out in front of them.

“I am excited to be visiting again. Especially since Daphne’s season is coming up.”

Anthony’s happy expression vanished at the thought.“Don’t remind me.”

(Y/N) giggled at her husband as they started eating.“Here he is, the protective older brother.”

“Well, I have to be. We both know men will come flocking towards her, and she will be so hypnotised by it that she won’t think about getting to know them. And to add to that, I know a majority of the men in this community, they go to my club, and there’s a lot I don’t want near her.”

“Oh darling, don’t get yourself too stressed over these matters. I’m sure you will have no trouble finding someone for her. Now let us eat, I am starving.”

Once they finished, the pair headed to the foyer, their servants already waiting with gloves, coats and capes, as well as a hat for Anthony. They put on everything, (Y/N) taking Anthony’s arm as they walked outside to the carriage. The couple didn’t need to speak to enjoy each others company, still holding hands as they looked out of the windows, the familiar streets passing by, before they both recognised the area in which their family lived in. (Y/N) loved being a Bridgerton, not only because she had fallen completely in love with Anthony, but because he had the most wonderful family. She had many friends who’s families were stuck up, or too strict, with some only just liking their husbands. (Y/N)’s whole body filled up with adoration for Anthony every time she looked at him, and her heart swelled whenever he looked back. (Y/N) knew she was extremely lucky, and she was thankful for that every single day. 

When they arrived at the Bridgerton house, they were welcomed in, taken to the drawing room where the entire family was sat. Gregory and Hyacinth were the first to make a move, jumping off of their chairs and shouting out their brother and sister-in-law’s names. Anthony scooped up his younger brother as (Y/N) knelt down to capture Hyacinth in a hug. When the married couple had first started courting, Hyacinth had been in awe of (Y/N), wondering if Anthony was in love with a princess.

The rest of the Bridgerton’s also stood to welcome Anthony and (Y/N). Hyacinth took (Y/N)’s hand and pulled her towards the sofa, sitting down together. She looked over (Y/N)’s dress, thrilled that she remembered to wear that one. As Violet began a conversation with (Y/N), Anthony approached Daphne, intending to talk about her upcoming season, but she beat him to it.

“Anthony, I should like to ask you a few questions regarding my debut.” Daphne started.

“Wonderful, I was just about to bring up the matter. So, in a few weeks, you shall be presented-”

“No, I know how it all works brother. Mama has told me all about it. I wanted to ask you about, well, the more personal side of it. And I think it would benefit me to see it from a gentleman’s perspective.”

Anthony dreaded to think what she would come up with.“Ah, maybe this is a conversation for mama-”

“I was wondering what it felt like when you realised (Y/N) was the one for you. How did you choose her? Was it something that stood out? Something I should be doing?”

Anthony chuckled at his sister’s questions, and how innocent she was. He wished she would stay like this forever.“I believe it is different for everyone sister. I...I don’t know how to explain it, but,” he looked over to (Y/N), who now had Hyacinth cuddled into her side as she and Violet talked,“it felt right. Like when you know the answer to a question, and that feeling of certainty goes through you. You don’t have any ‘what ifs’ about the future, because you know that no matter what happens, they will be the person by your side.”

Daphne smiled as she glanced in the same direction, before looking back to her brother. She had seen that expression of his many times when he was with (Y/N), and she wished someone would look at her that way during her season.

“(Y/N),” Gregory caught her attention. He was sat on the floor,“will we be having a cousin soon? Some of my friends have loads of cousins to play with.”

(Y/N) wasn’t sure how to answer, and Violet sensed that. The older siblings felt a slight awkwardness in the air, knowing it was a touchy subject.

Violet smiled, trying to lighten the mood.“Why don’t we take lunch outside? It is such a beautiful day.”

The eldest siblings all quickly agreed, moving almost immediately. Gregory felt that he had said something wrong, especially wen he saw (Y/N)’s face. Anthony was about to comfort her when Gregory stood up and held her hand, Hyacinth was already holding the other one. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you.” he said, pouting slightly.

(Y/N) gave him a comforting smile, kneeling down between the two.“Don’t worry, you did no such thing. Tell you what, why don’t we play outside after lunch? But you’ve got to let me win at least one game.”

The children giggled, knowing that (Y/N) had never been very good at winning whatever games they played. But both nodded, going ahead of her when she gently pushed them forwards. Standing back up, she realised Anthony had been watching her the whole time.

“What? What is it?” she asked.

“Nothing.” he replied, quickly pecking her on the lips.“Come, let us join our family.”

The rest of the afternoon went by too fast for (Y/N)’s liking. Over lunch she discussed Daphne’s debut, giving her advice on how to deduct herself and little ways to flirt when Anthony and Violet weren’t listening. Their giggles didn’t go unnoticed, Anthony scolding Collin and Benedict for not paying attention to the girls. 

“(Y/N), can we go play now?” Gregory asked as soon as she was finished eating.

“Gregory, you have only just finished for food too. Wait a while, otherwise you will have a bad stomach.” Violet warned him.

“She is not a toy for you two to play with. Some of us would like to speak with (Y/N) too you know.” Daphne pointed out, only to have Gregory stick his tongue out at her.

“We will play once our food has settled, yes?” (Y/N) nodded to the children, who knew they would be waiting as the grown ups talked. 

Anthony had that thought again. Hyacinth and Gregory adored (Y/N), and she had such a way with children. And it wasn’t all smooth sailing with these two, (Y/N) had told them off a few times. It was natural thing that came to her, a natural thing he had put off for so long. Of course, they wanted to enjoy their time together without children, but seeing her like this, and with children of friends started to make him think that perhaps it was time. (Y/N) had only ever expressed her wanting of children once, which lead to an argument. Anthony had always felt pressured to be the one to marry first and produce heirs, so when he found (Y/N), his mama subtly hinted to him about having a baby as soon as possible; just to spite her, Anthony convinced (Y/N) not to dive headfirst into parenthood, something she went along with because she saw how stressed Anthony became on the subject. However, (Y/N) didn’t want to be past her time before it was too late to have a child.

“Alright then,” (Y/N) said as she, the two youngest and Collin stood on the grass,“what game are we playing?”

“Hide and seek!” Hyacinth quickly shouted before Gregory could even open his mouth.

“That’s so boring!” her brother whined.

“And aren’t (Y/N) and I slightly too big to be hiding?” Collin pointed out.

(Y/N) mocked offence.

“N-no, I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it!”

(Y/N) laughed at him, much to Collin’s relief.

“Gregory, we do always play whatever you want.” (Y/N) said.“We’ll play hide and seek today.”

Hyacinth cheered, saying (Y/N) was the seeker before running off. Gregory was fast behind her, whilst Collin shrugged at (Y/N), going off to hide too. (Y/N) just rolled her eyes as she smiled, turning the other way and beginning to count. The others were still sat at the table, engrossed in a conversation, but Anthony was still watching (Y/N). She shook her head at him, still counting until she reckoned they were given enough time to hide. She announced she was coming, looking under benches and around trees and hedges, behind statues and pillars. Collin was the first to be found, unfortunately he was right about being too big to hide. They both set out to find the other two, keeping as quiet as they could.

(Y/N) heard rustling behind her, before something moved in behind the rose bushes. She held back for a moment, waking alongside it slowly to not alert the player  of her presence. Once they had no where else to go, (Y/N) waited for them to make a run for it, jumping out at them. This caused them to collide as they both yelped out, but ending up laughing as (Y/N) realised it was Hyacinth that she had caught. As they sat up, with (Y/N) checking she hadn’t hurt the girl, Collin came bounding over with Gregory over his shoulder.

Anthony knew what he wanted, and in that moment he had no patience. He wanted to tell (Y/N) about his intentions now, but knew it would be better to have that conversation in private. It was going to happen tonight, he needed to say it.

On the way home, (Y/N) noticed how Anthony’s hand was on her thigh, rather than holding her hand, and he was as close to her as he could possibly be. He kept kissing her too, holding her face in his other hand. Some were gentle and long kisses, other were hungry and passionate. (Y/N) was flustered, wondering why he was acting this way. When they arrived home, Anthony took her hand in his, quickly guiding her upstairs to their room.

“Anthony, what are-”

(Y/N) was silenced as he kissed her again, his hands now holding her waist. She embraced it, gripping onto his biceps as he walked them towards the bed. He pulled away, scooping her into his arms and gently laying her down on the bed. He straddled her, leaning down to kiss her again as she pushed off his jacket, trying to take off his shirt too. He sat up, taking it off, and for a moment, he was content with just looking at his wife. 

“Anthony?” she whispered.

His urges drove him forward, kissing down her neck and on top of her breasts, pulling her to sit up with him so he could undo her dress. She told him to stand, as did she, turning around so it was easier to rid of the garment. Once it was off, he pressed his body against the back of hers, taking a second to slow down. He ran his hands from her lower back, rounding her waist and cupping her breasts. She moaned at his touch, purposefully pushing against his crotch. He moved her to face him, knowing he had to tell her what was on his mind now before he completely forgot about them.

“(Y/N).” was all he managed to get out.

“Yes?” she looked back up at him with her beautiful eyes. 

“I...I want us to have a family.”

“I do too.”

“No, I mean...I’m ready.”

“You are?”

“Yes. I know I am. After seeing you today with my brother and sister, well, whenever you’re around children, I realised how selfish I have been. I married you because I love you. And love comes in many forms. One way to express our love is by creating a family of our own.”

“Anthony, are you sure? Because, because you know how happy that would make me?”

He smiled.“And that’s all I want to do, make you happy.”

“You do so every day. But this means the world to me. I love you.”

“I love you, so much. We’re ready (Y/N), we know what we both want. I want that with you.”

[wandaromanova]

Can u do a fic where fem!reader and Nat are broken up and they’re pretty hostile with each other but when one of them gets hurt on a mission they realize they’re still in love and get back together thank u if u write this :)))))))

I Love You

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, violence, that’s it i believe

A/N: hi! i hit 300 followers! i posted my very first story 3 weeks ago and only had like 10 followers then. i can’t even begin to express how grateful i am that i’ve been able to bring people joy (or pain lol) with my stories. thank you. not proofread. <3

Summary: Ex-lovers Natasha and Y/N dance around their feelings for each other. They decide that hostility was the best course of action.

Word Count: 2.5K

(gif is not mine)

You and Natasha dated for a year and a half before you guys decided to call it quits. It was a mutual agreement, but there was still some sort of bad blood between the both of you that was painfully obvious. The tension could be cut with a knife.

You guys were going great at first. You both understood each other on a level that no one else could. You would do typical couple things in order to compensate for the lack of stability and domesticity you’ve both had in your lives. Movie nights, designated date nights, cuddle sessions in the late hours of the night, and literally every other cliche there was in the book.

However, you and Natasha were both raised in similar environments. From young ages, you guys were trained to conceal your true emotions and that love was for children. So, communicating with one another was something that the both of you didn’t know how to do.

You didn’t try to communicate and neither did she; and there lied the problem. Natasha would absolutely freak on you if you so much as looked at another person. You would get upset if Natasha went on a mission without informing you first. There were so many pointless arguments that occurred between you and Natasha. Arguments that could’ve been avoided or solved if you guys were able to just talk to each other.

You would say that you guys did talk… just in a higher volume than normal conversation. The yelling between you both could be heard throughout the compound. Most times, you would get so fed up and tired from the arguing, that you didn’t even know why you guys were fighting anymore. It wasn’t healthy and you knew it.

You and Natasha never once told each other the big three words. That was a line neither of you dared to cross. Like the Red Room and The Academy taught you both, love was a weakness and was nothing more than a concept believed by children. You’d like to think that actions spoke louder than words, though.

You could feel the love between you both in the way you would hold onto one another after a mission had gone wrong. You could feel it in the way Natasha worried and panicked when you’d come back from a mission with so much as a scratch above your eyebrow. However, you still could not bring yourself to tell her how you felt. Not that it would matter now, considering you guys had broken up.

It’s been five months since the breakup, and at first your plan of action was to be civil with your ex-girlfriend, but she had other plans. Natasha would bark out snarky remarks whenever you would speak up during team meetings. She began to give you cold glares whenever you walked into a room. God forbid you would even breathe in her direction, she would storm out of a room at the speed of light if you did so.

So, you began to act the same way she was. Okay, yes, it was extremely childish thinking. You should be mature, regardless of how Natasha was treating you, but you couldn’t be civil anymore. So you would treat her just as harshly as she did you. You’d send her sharper glares than she would give you. You’d never listen to anything she had to add during mission meetings, being sure to make it obvious you weren’t paying attention. And you would always counter her hostile comments that were directed towards you.

The team was currently sat in a meeting. You and Natasha were meant to be sent on a mission together, to which you both immediately objected.

“Steve, do I really have to go with that over there? I’d rather go myself and risk dying than go with her.” Natasha pointed in your direction and you were immediately offended by her statement.

“No, I would rather go and die than have to hear one more word out of your god damn mouth. You’re such a bitch.” You spoke as you stood up from your seat, Natasha following suit. Natasha walked across the room and stopped in front of you. She harshly shoved a finger against your chest.

“What the fuck did you just call me? You better take it back before I make sure you never talk again.” Natasha glared at you intensely as she stared into your eyes. You returned her stare with a bored expression on your face.

“I said you’re a bitch. What are you going to do about it, Widow?” You asked her challengingly. Natasha moved to pounce on you, but Bucky, who was sitting next to your spot, sprung in and intervened.

“Let her go Barnes. I’d love to kick her ass.” You smirked as your words only enraged Natasha more. She struggled against Bucky’s grip, trying to free herself so she could pound your face into the floor, but she couldn’t break free.

“Okay! Enough. Natasha, you’re off the mission. Y/N, you’re with me. We leave in 10.” Steve spoke with conviction in his voice, fed up with the pair of you. Natasha stopped resisting Bucky’s hold as he slowly let her go. You looked at her with one harsh glare before you took the mission file that was on the table and walked out of the room. As you left, everyone in the room stared at Natasha. She huffed and stormed out of the room as well.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

You and Steve were currently staked out in a van. You guys were spying on one of the leaders of Hydra and an infamous weapons dealer. The man was currently having a lunch with the dealer. You had been sitting there together for about an hour. You were bored out of your mind and pissed that you couldn’t get Natasha out of your mind. You wanted to punch yourself in the face for thinking about how hot she looked when she pissed. The way her eyes would widen, showing off more of her green irises as her eyebrows furrowed together in anger. The way her chest rose and fell as she took deep breaths. God, she had such nice boobs.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Fury’s voice coming in through comms. “Okay, we evacuated civilians off of the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. Remember, wait until they’re in front of the alley before you attack. They may have weapons.” Fury informed you both and you looked onto the monitor to confirm the empty street. Sure enough, there wasn’t a civilian in sight; good.

Steve replied with a quick “okay” before movement from the door of the restaurant caught your attention. “Steve, there they are. Move out, now.” You spoke as you loaded your gun and attached it to your hip. You and Steve jumped out of the van. Steve threw his shield and hit both of the men with it. His shield came back to him as if ricocheted off of the men.

Your gun was pointed at the both of them as you guys approached them. “Meeting in broad daylight? Doesn’t seem like a smart move for two supposedly genius people.” You spoke as Steve searched the two men for any weapons. They didn’t have any. That should’ve been a red flag, but you weren’t in the right state of mind right now.

Suddenly, another van pulled up in front of the alleyway, right behind the vehicle you both had just exited. Hydra Agents with semi-automatic guns filed out of the van. Fuck. You guys were set up. Steve shared a look with you before he threw his shield toward the men and knocked the guns out of a few of the agent’s hands.

You began to fire towards the men with your own gun. You shot them in the shoulders, sending them flying to the ground in pain. You and Steve made quick work of the men and soon enough, there were unconscious men littered across the floor.

You and Steve turned back to the two men you had previously captured as they laid on the floor in shock. They really thought their little stunt would work? Pathetic. Unfortunately, one of the Hydra agents was still conscious. You and Steve failed to notice the movement behind your backs. The man pointed a nearby gun at you and fired 5 shots at you. He missed three of them, but managed to land two into your abdomen.

You fell to the ground as Steve whipped around and actually knocked the man unconscious this time. “Fury, we need backup! L/N is down!” He spoke frantically into comms as he applied pressure to your wounds. Your eyes were open in shock as you tried to process what just happened. You were shot. It really did hurt like a bitch. What are those black spots? God, I want Natasha right now. Wait, what? No, it’s just the blood loss talking.

You fell unconscious as soon as the backup S.H.I.E.L.D agents appeared on the scene. You were rushed back to the Avengers Compound in one of S.H.I.E.L.D’s vehicles, Steve following you after ensuring the two men were detained. As soon as the car made it to the compound, your unconscious body was placed onto a gurney and you were being rushed to the medical wing.

As your body was being rolled through the halls of the compound, you were pushed by the doctors past Natasha. She did a double take and quickly turned around to confirm what she had just saw. Her heart sunk to her stomach at the sight of your limp, blood-covered body. She ran after you without a second thought, fear and dread taking over.

Natasha tried to enter the medical wing where they had just taken you, but she was stopped by a strong hand abruptly placing itself onto her shoulder. “Nat, we need to let them take care of her. We’d only be disturbing them and we need their focus to 100% be on Y/N.” Steve said in an attempt to convince the redhead to stop her plan of barging into the room like a madwoman. Natasha took one last glance at the door before she heavily sighed and walked to the wall across the door. She slid her back slowly against the wall and placed her head in her hands.

“What happened, Rogers?” Natasha asked, afraid of hearing the answer. Steve went over the events of the mission, and all Natasha could think was that she should’ve been there with you. She would’ve jumped in front of that bullet to save you in a heartbeat because she loved you. Wait. She loved you? Holy fuck! She loved you!

Natasha’s heart rate increased rapidly at her self revelation. She has loved you this entire time. God, she was so fucking blind. How could she not see what was right in front of her? She was madly in love with you. She let the things the Red Room drilled into her affect your relationship. Now, she wasn’t sure if she’d have the opportunity to make it up to you. That thought scared Natasha more than any mission ever could.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

1 hour later

An hour later, and the entire team was sprawled across the hallway of the medical wing. Wanda sat beside Natasha on the floor, comfortingly holding her hand. The rest of the team just stood, anxiously and impatiently waiting to hear about your status.

At the sound of the medical bay door opening, Natasha shot up from her spot on the floor and looked towards Helen Cho. “What’s her status? Is she okay? Did she make it?” Natasha immediately fired off questions at the Doctor. The team stood firmly behind Natasha as they looked at Dr. Cho, their eyes asking her the same questions Natasha did.

“She coded on the table a few times. The bullets hit some major arteries, but we managed to stop the bleeding. If she had arrived even a minute later than she did, she wouldn’t have made it.” The relief of the good news radiated off of earth’s mightiest heroes. Natasha almost let tears escape her eyes, but quickly blinked them back.

“Can I see her?” Natasha asked desperately. “Yes you can, but shes still asleep. The anesthesia was very strong so she’ll be out for a few more hours.” Helen spoke as she opened the door for Natasha. She entered and let out a sigh of relief as she caught sight of your chest rising and falling steadily. Natasha grabbed a nearby chair and placed it right beside your bed. She lightly stroked your hair before she gripped your hand.

•❅────────✧❅✦❅✧─────────❅•

3 hours later

You groaned as you slowly open your eyes and were met with an obnoxiously bright light hovering over you. You heard some shuffling before the light was shut off. You turned your head towards the other person in the room and you rolled your eyes at who it was.

“If you’re here to be an asshole, please leave. I’m not in the mood for it.” You spoke as you watched Natasha sit back down in the chair next to your bed.

“I’m not here for that. I wanted to apologize, Y/N. You were right, I was a bitch. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you, but I was just afraid.” Natasha began to speak as she seemingly appeared nervous. You’ve never seen her nervous before, you’re pretty sure no one ever has.

“I was so terrified because I love you. Everyone I love ends up leaving me, and I couldn’t watch you leave me. So, I thought it was best if I beat you to the punch.” Natasha looked down to her lap and played with her fingers absentmindedly. Your eyes widened as far as they could go at Natasha’s words. She loved you. She actually, verbally said it. That’s a huge fucking deal.

“I know my logic may not make the best sense, but what does make sense is the fact that I love you. I always have and I was just too stupid to tell you. I’m sorry, I love you so much.” Natasha spoke as she tore her gaze from her hands and up to your eyes.

You reached your hand out for hers and she shakily took your hand in hers. You almost let out a gasp at the contact, you missed her touch so much. “I won’t ever leave you, Natasha because I love you too. I’m sorry too. I was just as afraid as you were. We were both stupid.” You let out a little laugh at your last words. Natasha let out a chuckle as a tear fell from her eyes. Oh god, you’ve never seen her cry either.

“You scared me. I thought you weren’t going to make it. When I saw your body being wheeled down here…. all the blood… I-“ Natasha words were cut off as you smashed your lips against hers. You winced as the pain from your gunshot wounds radiated across your body, but you couldn’t care less about that right now. The only thing that mattered in this moment was that the woman you loved, loved you too. You’d never be afraid to express your love for her ever again.

───────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE EIGHTEEN || SAGE

↳ featuring : basically everyone at this point from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of blood + mention of killing + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 10 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 3.8k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : kyoto sister school exchange event - group battle 3

↳ next episode : black flash

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, i did cringe a bit writing this episode for some reason ʕ´•ᴥ•`ʔ but also i have been getting a lot of asks in my inbox asking me if you can add me on genshin impact, and i am not opposed to that! just tell me in advance  ╲ʕ·ᴥ·　╲ʔ also volume one of komi can’t communicate came in today! also...the idea i have is coming in soon...so beware.....BUT thank you so much for being so patient with the series and hope you enjoy this special cup of classic black coffee ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique : hopefully this video is slightly better...

Destructive Curse Spell Number Fifty-Four : Haien : 6:08-6:12 (but like it’s more emphasised to look like this : 1:55-2:05)

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

“Where the hell is Fushiguro, right now?” you muttered under your breath as you swiftly ran around the extremely large building you were currently in right now after trying to run away from Kyoto student: Kamo Noritoshi, who seemed too adamant to catch you for some odd reason.

At this current moment in time, you were desperately trying to find your partner after instantly splitting up with him when you both had entered the building causing you to become concerned for the shikigami user since his opponent didn’t seem to be holding back. Even though in the back of your mind, this was your one and only opportunity to go and find the curse you needed to exorcise for your school team to win the first day of the Exchange Event, you knew that the second that Kamo could sense your curse energy leave the premises, he would turn away from his battle and chase you down leaving Fushiguro the role of trying to locate you - which was going to be difficult for him.

Digging into your skirt pocket, you quickly pulled out a fist that had a few pink petals that you had kept after you had used some of them to attack Kamo earlier before gradually transferring some of your cursed energy within them. Slowly, you processed to open your palm letting the same blush coloured petals begin to glide into the air allowing them to travel down the hall you were running through right now causing specks of your cursed energy to be located everywhere they moved to lead your opponents to be somewhat confused about where you really were right now.

                                              ꕥ

“Your team partner seemed to be the smart type,” Kamo mentioned as he turned his head to look behind him since he slowly began to sense the chaotic flow of cursed energy that was beginning to vastly surround the building right now as he was quickly struggling to locate the original source of the cursed energy that he needed to find, which was you.

“She’s always been the smart type, it’s quite scary in my opinion,” Fushiguro commented before raising his tonfas in a defensive position before taking the time given to him to try to locate where you were before giving up the second he tried once his discovered how immense your cursed energy was flowing in the building right now.

‘What the hell? How does she do that?’

Hastily, Fushiguro lunged himself forward as he attempted to attack Kamo leading his opponent to block his hit before suddenly retaliating, only for Fushiguro to defend himself quickly as well. However, it seemed as if both sorcerers were not going to give up as easily as a continuous row of attacks commenced between the two causing them to travel backwards and forwards along the hallway they were in right now.

Suddenly, there was a violent contact with the backs of their wrists leading Kamo to proceed to swiftly turn his body to the side of the opposition as he forcibly thrust his palm out towards the shikigami user causing Fushiguro to use his remaining tonfa to block his attack causing his weapon to snap in half as well as him being pushed back to the other side of the hallway where he first stood.

Staring down at the now tattered wooden weapon, Fushiguro casually threw it to the side leading Kamo to begin to spew out with what was currently running through his mind.

“Shikigami users who can fight this well in close combat are precious, you’ve improved. I’m happy,” Kamo expressed with an impressed tone, leading Fushiguro to unexpectedly cringe at the amount of time you had beaten him up during the past two months of training you both had together.

“What is this sense of fellowship you keep throwing out?” Fushiguro asked in an irritated tone since he wasn’t in the mood to converse about anything to do with the clans at this moment in time.

“I’m sympathising, someday you’ll be one of those supporting the major clans, well maybe the four major clans if the L/N remained after the Heian Era,” Kamo suggested, causing the erratic-haired sorcerer to look at the opposition with a deadpan expression painted on his face.

“Gojo doesn’t even support the clans even though she is in the Gojo clan,” Fushiguro reminded Kamo leading to the sorcerer in front of him to shift slightly as if the news to him was surprising at all since it seemed as if you and the strongest sorcerer was ‘close’ despite the joking tension between you both.

“I intend to kill Itadori Yuji,” Kamo suddenly announced, as if that was not known to everyone within the Tokyo team right now.

“On Principal Gakuganji’s orders? So why chase after Gojo?” Fushiguro questioned, as he was still perplexed on why the blood manipulation sorcerer would go after you if his main priority was to eliminate his friend and classmate.

“No, it’s my personal decision. As a member of the Kamo clan, one of the three major clans, I believe that’s the right call,” Kamo answered before going silent, as if he had something in mind currently before he began to voice his opinion once again, “you should be able to understand that, too,”.

“Sorry, but I really don’t get it at all”

Suddenly, Kamo unexpectedly left something lightly slice his cheek slightly causing him to turn to view what was behind him to notice that you were standing there with your armed raised up, leading him to turn back forward to discover your katana piercing the wall that was behind Fushiguro (who looked at you with widened eyes) as your teammate managed to move his head to the side in time before your weapon pierced him instead.

“Oh, I missed,” you commented as you noticed a hint of blood escaping from his small wound, before using your other hand to violently pull the invisible chain of your katana back like a boomerang leading Kamo to swiftly dodge the weapon this time, while being surprised on how you had managed to retrieve your sword back without moving an inch towards it.

“What do you mean? You, me and Fushiguro are the same,” Kamo then declared, causing you to give him an extremely offended look from behind before turning to the side as if to convey to the sorcerer that you weren’t going to listen to him anymore.

“No, we’re not,” Fushiguro replied with an annoyed as well as fed-up expression on his face, as he didn’t expect his opponent to say something as weird as he did right now.

‘He’s spouting some scary stuff all of a sudden...and couldn’t Gojo warn me about this little attack of hers?’

“We are,” Kamo responded, only for Fushiguro to retaliate back leading you to turn your head back to the conversation with a slightly vexed look since you didn’t want such a stupid discussion between two descendants of the three major clans to go on forever like this.

“We’re not, please save those discussions for Maki-san. I no longer have any connection with the Zenin clan,” Fushiguro informed his opponent causing Kamo to turn to you as if you would try to have an understanding of what he was trying to carry out.

“Remember, I don’t actually have any connections to the Gojo clan, I’m not related to them by blood and even if Gojo-sensei adopted me out of the blue,” you explained to Kamo while raising your hands up like you were surrendering when really you were trying to avoid any topic to do with the clans overall.

“Besides, I don’t believe I’m ‘right’. No, sorry. That’s not right, I don’t care if I’m right or wrong,” Fushiguro commented as he looked down towards his raised hand with a softened expression to which caused Kamo to turn back to the shikigami user.

“I just...have faith in my own good conscience, I save people according to my own conscience. If you would reject that, then...we’ll just have to curse each other,” Fushiguro suddenly declared, as a wave of cursed energy began to surround him causing you to sudden be on guard since you didn’t know what your classmate had prepared.

Unexpectedly, a shikigami frog appeared from the side causing you to prepare yourself in an attack stance in case Kamo decided to move towards you, to which he did turn to face you only for the same shikigami to dissolve into the shadow it had come from leading Kamo to open his eyes in shock at the common but smart strategy that the younger sorcerer had come up with.

“This one burns through cursed energy, so I can only use it by itself. I only recently tamed it,” Fushiguro explained before positioning his hands in front of him as he prepared the next shikigami that he was going to summon.

“Max elephant,” the shikigami user announced before the shadow below him began to merge into the shape of a pink elephant leading you to look at the animal with widened eyes as you didn’t expect such a large shikigami to appear right in front of you.

‘What the hell?’ you thought, as the elephant’s cheeks began to swell up while Kamo began to position himself into an attack position. However, it seemed the elephant was going to attack first as a suddenly sprouted out a massive wave of water that could fill up the ocean, causing you to yell out in shock before quickly deciding to stab your katana deeply into the ground to have something to hold on to as Kamo quickly swept into the mass of water leading to the wall behind to break.

“Maybe tell me when you are going to attack, you drag!” you yelled out to your classmate in anger as he rushed next to you causing your partner to look at you weirdly since you were kind of being hypocritical at this current moment in time.

“Just jump across to attack him while I use Nue to corner him!” Fushiguro stated to you in a serious tone, leading you to nod at him before launching yourself forward towards the sorcerer with your katana blade facing the opposite direction it was supposed to since you didn’t want to critically damage your opponent.

Behind you, Fushiguro interlocked his thumbs before fanning out the rest of his finger to represent wings as he swiftly summoned Nue into the battle leading the bird-like creature to strike him with lightning, paralysing Kamo for a second before he suddenly reached into his uniform to slowly reveal a bag of blood to which he then proceeded to throw the object in your direction, causing Nue to bump into you as if to move you away from the item as the blood bag quickly exploded causing the shikigami to be trapped within what seemed to be a rope of blood.

However, you could not let the sudden event faze you as you proceeded to place your foot to the side of the building you were pushed against before thrusting yourself downwards with extreme force to attack Kamo while Fushiguro dashed towards the same opponent to do the same thing.

“I can’t afford to lose!” Kamo screamed as he began to lung forward towards Fushiguro.

Suddenly, a large explosion destructively echoed behind you leading you to reach to the ground with one hand before riskily twisting the same hand to make your body spin before you quickly landed of your feet to the ground causing Fushiguro to look at you with a worried expression before all three of you peered up above to see a vast structure of what seemed to be wood, growing ever to rapidly in the air.

“What is this?” Kamo questioned in a panic before Fushiguro noticed someone running along the tiles rooftop from above.

“Inumaki-senpai?!” Fushguro yelled out in an alarmed tone causing you to look to the side to see your senior classmate running in what seemed to be incomplete adrenaline and fear.

“Run-away!” Inumaki spoke, causing his voice to ring out to everyone as they realised that it was his cursed technique that was occurring right now, causing your bodies to instantly run away from the mass destruction that was occurring right now.

                                              ꕥ

“Huh?” Utahime muttered as she stared at the how red flamed paper talisman while everyone in the room with her peered at them with the same surprised expression.

“The game’s over? And they all burned red?” Utahime questioned as the flames quickly extinguished themselves leading to a large volume of smoke remaining.

“That’s odd, my crows didn’t see anything,” MeiMei commented.

“I’d love to say Great Teacher Gojo’s students exorcised them all, but…” Gojo mentioned as he placed his hands together as if to tell everyone in the room that he was thinking of another solution that might have caused this issue as all the screens in front of them now became static.

“The charms will burn red for unregistered cursed energy,” Principal Yaga informed everyone.

“You think it’s an outsider? Some invader?” Utahime queried, as she turned to her colleague with a concerned expression on her face.

“Does this mean Tengen-sama’s barrier isn’t functioning?” MeiMei then asked, but it wasn’t answered as Principal Gakuganji made a comment. 

“Whether it’s an outsider or not, something unexpected is happening all the same,” he mentioned before wondering how this intruder was able to exorcise the semi-first-grade he had planted in order to assassinate Itadori Yuji.

“I’m going to Tengen-sama, Satoru and Principal Gakuganji, please protect the students. Mei, you stay here and identify the locations of the students, stay in constant contact with the other two,” Principal Yaga instructed everyone.

“Fully understood, I look forward to the bonus,” MeiMei mentioned, as she turned her head towards the sorcerer trying to convey that she was willing to follow his instruction with a price to pay.

“Come on, Gramps! Time for a walk! You just finished your lunch, didn’t you? I don’t want my daughter injured with you being slow!” Gojo stated in a light but playful tone as he clapped his hands twice to get the elder’s attention, leading the mentioned sorcerer to become silent and annoyed at the Six-Eye shaman.

“Let’s hurry!” Utahime mentioned as she was becoming worried about the time they were spending on talking in the room they were in rather than going out right now to help the students that were in trouble.

                                               ꕥ

Running forward, you couldn’t help but notice how the branch that was behind you was still extending leading you to quicken your pace as everyone turned to the right, only for the same branch to twist itself in the same directions causing you to come to the conclusion that it was either a skilled curse user or special-grade curse that was the cause of it.

‘Did the mole tell whoever is doing this the location of the event?’

Although, before you could come to another conclusion on who was the mole within the group of Kyoto students, you suddenly heard Fushiguro gasp leading you to snap out of your thinking daze to see a large number of branches breaking through the wooden door that was in front of you leading to a vast volume of debris to rushingly come towards you to which caused you to over your face, allowing the veil that was processing to drip down above you to engulf every student at this current moment in time.

Once the huge mass of debris cleared itself, you noticed the change in colour around you before you turned your head towards the mass of branches in front of you with what seemed to be a curse standing on top of its masterpiece as if to showcase its sudden appearance.

“Why is there a cursed spirit at Jujutsu Tech? Who does this veil belong to?” Kamo asked rapidly, as his head was tilted up to view the intruder in front of him.

“Probably the curse user working with the cursed spirit,” Fushiguro answered, as he too was looking at the curse in front of him leading Kamo to question his knowledge about the situation in hand, while Inumaki let out a cough, causing you to worry about his condition right now since you didn’t have a single clue on how much he had used his voice in the current situation.

“There are a few unregistered special-grade cursed spirits roaming around Japan right now, probably this one was the one that attacked Gojo-sensei before,” you informed the sorcerers in front of you as you slowly began to remember the silly little drawing your adoptive father had given you when you first met with the Kyoto side’s principal.

“Tuna with mayo,” Inumaki commented as he waved a hand to signal a phone leading Fushiguro to agree with his upperclassmen as he proceeded to pull out his phone to contact Gojo, while Kamo commented on how Fushiguro could understand his classmate at all since he was still perplexed on how the Toyko students could even convey with him as well.

‘Why does it only look at me…?’

Yet, it seems as if you weren’t concentrating on their little conversation as you kept an eye on the curse since it seemed to be staring at you for some odd reason, leading you to tightly grip the hilt of your katana, as you now shifted your eyes down to make sure your fellow sorcerers (who were in front of you right now) were safe for the time being.

“That doesn’t matter right now,” Fushiguro mentioned, as he placed his phone to his ear. “Maintain our distance and retreat to Gojo-sensei- '' Fushiguro then explained, but before he could finish his sentence, the curse swiftly moved behind Kamo before proceeding to break Fushiguro’s device from his hand.

“Don’t move!” Inumaki yelled out, leading to the curse freezing in its position before attacking Kamo, leading everyone to keep a distance away from the special-grade curse.

Suddenly, Kamo grabbed another bag of blood that he kept hidden within his uniform before letting it explode once again as he began to maintain control of the red substance. “Blood Manipulation: Slicing Exorcism!” Kamo yelled out before swinging the blood shaped shuriken towards your opponent, only for the curse to be left unscathed leaving the sorcerer to be surprised at the outcome.

Before the curse could even react, Nue suddenly appeared above you before flying downwards towards the special-grade curse with the same purple lightning you have gotten used to before Fushiguro suddenly swept in close to slash the curse with a sword he was hiding within his shadow like you had taught him to within the first week of training. However, it seemed that the katana’s dent that was made only healed as quickly as it appeared causing Fushiguro to tut in complete annoyance.

“.nerdlihc hsiloof, ti potS,”

“Stop it, foolish children,” the curse suddenly said, causing you to grab your head in surprise as you didn’t expect the curse that was in front of you right now to communicate to you at all since you didn’t have a clue on what it was saying but you somehow could understand it.

“I merely wish to protect this planet, that’s all,” the curse then explained, causing you to prepare your cursed energy to flow from your hand to your katana since you now knew that you needed to use your cursed technique to keep the others safe - yet you didn’t know how you could conceal the risk of being discovered.

“It’s a curse spouting nonsense! Don’t listen!” Kamo exclaimed intensely.

“This is on a whole different level than lower-grade cursed spirits,” Fushiguro then commented to Kamo as if it was obvious enough to everyone that was around that opponent at this current moment in time.

“The forests, the oceans, and the sky, all weep so vehemently that I can no longer stand it. It’s impossible to coexist with humans any longer. They know there are some humans who are kind to the planet, but how much does their affection even help?” the curse declared as it raised its head up to the sky as if it was speaking to a whole nation.

‘It somehow established its own language system...and somehow manages to communicate with us…’

“All they desire is time. This planet can shine blue once more, given a bit of time,” the curse spoke again before a sudden twist of branches appeared right behind the curse leading everyone that was in front of it to be on guard as the sudden impact that caused the ground to shake was evident enough on how dangerous this opponent was.

“Gojo Y/N...You can’t run, the veil is designed to keep you trapped within here...We need you for what is going to commence,” the curse suddenly declared causing you to look at it with wide eyes while all the boys turned to you with panicked expression painted on their faces since they were now concerned with your safety more right now than theirs.

‘I don’t know how long this curse spell will last, but I need to make sure it is enough to let everyone run before it can reach them’

“Is that so? Ah..what a drag,” you then asked, as you raised your katana up in the air with one hand as you gradually began to transfer a large amount of cursed energy within the blade. “You see, I began to notice that you seem to be a plant type of curse, I assume...something like wood right?” you rhetorically asked, before using your other hand to cover your mouth with the back of it to conceal the next few words that were going to come out of your mouth.

“Destructive Curse Spell number fifty-four: Haien,” you whispered before a sudden flame began to engulf the metal blade leading the boy to look at your weapon in astonishment at how wild the flames seemed to be due to the amount of cursed energy you had placed within the same blade. “So...why don’t you just burn to death them, would you?” you threatened in a low tone causing the boys to dash behind you before you swung your katana downwards to allow the flames to wildly and uncontrollably burst out in front of the special-grade curse leading to the building behind it to begin slowly extinguishing with the massive flames.

Turning around, you grabbed the fabric of Fushiguro’s and Inuamki’s uniforms (while yelling at Kamo to run) before using your strength as well as a hint of your cursed energy to violently push them forward away from the flames before running towards the same direction with them since this was the perfect opportunity to make a dash for it without any of the boys getting injured or harm in the process.

‘Whoever is responsible for the veil...is going to die..’

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[southsideserendipity]

Can u write an imagine with Kelly ? Where Yn father is an alcoholic and she hasn’t talked to him in years and he just turns up to the firehouse and stalks her ? X

Drunk & Disorderly (Kelly Severide x Reader)

Synopsis: Your alcoholic father shows up at the firehouse, persistent on making amends.

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of throwing up, violence, swearing, drunk driving, Kelly being protective AF <3.

Word Count: 4k

“Shay, we are never drinking that much the night before a shift again” you groaned, throwing your head back in exasperation.

“Oh cmon, Y/N, we can handle a lil hangover” she joked with you. “Besides, wasn’t that drinking game fun?” She asked you the question in a suggestive tone, wiggling her eyebrows in the process. 

“I’m not sure, I can’t exactly remember last night’s events too well” you giggled, trying to rack your brain for a hint as to how the night played out.

“Well what I remember extremely vividly is you and Severide not being able to stop flirting with each other.” Shay said this without taking her eyes off of the road, but you knew she wasn’t as annoyed as she was making herself out to be. She loved the idea of the 2 people she loved the most getting together. 

“I can’t confirm or deny my actions or the events that occurred last night” you led in a serious note, trying to cover up your high-school-like crush on Severide in a playful manner.

“Oh just fuck him already, Y/N! Blame it on the alcohol!” Shay encouraged, using her hands to help communicate the message. “I know you like him, and who’s to say he doesn’t want you. You’re a hot piece of ass!” she questioned.

You chuckled at her flirtatious comment. “I’m not sure Shay, you would know the most given the fact that you live with him, wouldn’t you? Has he said anything to you??” You questioned, suddenly becoming very invested in the conversation and her response. You had made comments to Shay about how hot Severide is, but you’ve never fully expressed your interest in him.

“My lawyer says no further comment” Shay responds, zipping the imaginary zipper on her lips and throwing the key. 

“Oh cmon, Shay!! Help a girl out” you moaned in defeat, knowing that what the 2 roommates discuss is not for you to know. 

Shay was actually the person who got you and Kelly close to begin with. Being that you and her were ambulance partners, you went over to their place a lot, so you see him just as much as you see her (pretty often). 

“He may or may not have said some things about you, but that’s all I can say!” Shay spat out the sentence, picking up the speed as it went on, as if the faster she said it the less of a chance Kelly was to find out. 

“Oh this conversation isn’t over" you responded, pointing your finger. You weren’t ready to drop the topic anytime soon, but you were back at the firehouse. 

Before you could pester her with more interrogations, you saw a figure as she was pulling into 51.

“Who is that? He’s standing in the middle of the ambulance bay!” Shay exclaimed, confused that her driveway was being blocked. 

You squinted your eyes, confident that they were playing tricks on you based on who you were registering to be there. Once Shay had driven as close as she could without running them over, you knew without a doubt who the person standing before you was.

“My dad” you spat angrily, upset that this was your current reality; that a member of your toxic family had followed you to the one good thing in your life. 

You were both frozen in the ambulance; you, unsure how to avoid conversation with your father, and Shay confused as to how she can help you. 

You got out of the ambulance and began making your way inside, pretending that your dad was an invisible man and that his presence had no effect on you. Shay followed suit. 

When you walked past him you heard him scoff, and he threw his hands up in the air, resembling confusion.

“You’re just gonna walk past me. No ‘Hi dad, how are you. Long time no see.’” You couldn’t believe what you just heard, but once you partially processed it, you decided that this was indeed your battle to pick today.

You had moved to Chicago from Toronto after applying to the academy, deciding that between your narcissistic and emotional abusive mother, and your alcoholic dad, it was time to leave: not to run away, but to survive. 

Your older brother is a firefighter in Toronto, and you easily could’ve gotten you a job at his firehouse, but you had always loved Chicago and decided to bite the bullet. It was time for a change. 

“You have some nerve.” Slowly turning around to face him, you tried to keep yourself from seeing red. He didn’t deserve to know he got a reaction from you. “…Showing up at my place of work unexpectedly, and expecting me to give you the time of day.” 

“I just want to talk, Y/N.” You started hysterically laughing once you heard what he had said, the anger presenting itself through laughter. Your father was confused as to why you were reacting this way, and quite frankly, so was Shay. She had never seen you so upset.

“Get out of my firehouse. You don’t deserve to be here” you pointed towards the street, urging him to get out of your sight. 

“Y/N just hear me out. I know I don’t deserve it but it’s been so long and I just want to be a part of your life again. Things are different now.” He scratched the back of his neck, a hint of nervousness evident. 

You could hear the sounds of squad and truck rumbling down the street from afar, and you knew that you needed your dad to leave before the entire house got back. 

“Yeah things sure as hell are different, I left before I literally suffocated in that house, and you couldn’t give a rats ass where I ended up. Until apparently today, a random Saturday morning 2 YEARS after I spoke to you last. I want you to leave, NOW. And don’t make me escalate this situation.” You were sick of people walking all over you- blood-related or not, and you weren’t going to have any of this. Especially not in front of your 51 family.

By the time you finished your spiel, truck and squad were both parked and beginning to filter out, undressing from their turnover gear.

Severide hopped out, pulling his turnover gear down to his waist. He was wearing his lieutenant shirt with suspenders, and his squad 3 baseball cap. He would take quick glances over to you, not wanting to make it obvious that he was eavesdropping. 

“I’m not going anywhere until you decide to give me another chance. Until you let me make things up to you” he pleaded, reeking of desperation. 

At this point, people’s attentions were getting grabbed, and heads were turning over to observe the interaction.

“I gave you 1 too many chances, and I’m done. I’m not too sure how you didn’t get the hint that I want nothing to do with you when I moved countries, but I’m now verbally letting you know that this relationship is over.” 

At this point, a few members of 51 had filtered into the lounge, knowing that they probably weren’t meant to hear what was going down. Others took their sweet time getting undressed, most likely because they were trying to keep an eye on you.

Severide continued to tune into the conversation, always having an urge to protect you against harm’s way. He didn’t know much about the situation given that you kept your past very secretive, but recognizing what an abusive father is like, he stood near.

“Cmon, Y/N, you’ve always been so damn stubborn. Do you really need to act like this when I’m trying to prove to you I can be better?” Your dad was genuinely curious as to how you could be so cutthroat towards him, as if his drinking didn’t ruin the first 2 decades of your life.

Shay shot Severide a look that read ‘what do we do?’. 

“I don’t think you need to prove anything to her. It’s pretty clear you’re not a part of her life and that she wants it to stay that way.” You didn’t expect to hear Kelly’s voice from behind you all of a sudden. “Kel, it’s okay. I got this.” You felt a mix between wanting him to stand up for you, and proving that you can fight your own battles. He stepped closer towards you, and Shay took a couple of steps back, knowing you had even extra protection now. 

“And who are you?” your father asked, not breaking eye contact with you. His hands were placed on his hips, and by his body language, it was evident that he was not leaving without a fight. 

“Lieutenant Severide of 51, and respectfully, I’m asking you to leave my firehouse” Severide stated in a calm but straightforward manner. He crossed his arms and waited intently. 

Your dad chuckled in what seemed to be astonishment. “Sleeping your way to the top, very typical of you Y/N. I thought you would’ve changed your ways by now” your dad scoffed. 

You were beyond pissed off that he was even here right now, but that comment officially made your blood boil. Thinking about what you could possibly say in response, your dad decided to speak up once again.

“Let me ask you, how long have you been fucking my daughter, lieutenant?” He said the last word as if it was dirty. 

Kelly stepped right up to your father as if he had no fears in the world, something you wish you could’ve warned him about before doing. You were grateful your dad appeared to be sober, because if he had come inebriated, a brawl would’ve already broke out between them.

“Y/N has been nothing but a talented paramedic with a great amount of expertise in her field. She‘s proven time and time again that she’s a necessary addition to this team, and deserves to be here- she did that all by herself, no thanks to you. Now get out of my firehouse before the chief gets back and this gets worse for you.” 

You were absolutely blown away by Severide’s words, unaware of his thoughts regarding your time at 51. He managed to respond to your father’s comment in a professional yet serious way, and he did it with ease, appearing completely unbothered with confrontation. He was still face to face with your father, not ready to back down for nothing and no one. 

“Whatever.” Your dad hadn’t let Kelly escape his gaze for even a millisecond. “I came here as part of my 12 steps anyways. Step 9: Make amends” your dad said with a smirk. 

Despite not wanting to hear your father out for anything he had to say, the fact that he was here for his benefit, and not out of sincerity, was your final straw.

It took you a second to even fathom the possibility that he came here for selfish reasons, but once you did, you couldn’t stop yourself. 

You lunged at him and began unleashing. “FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” Now you seriously only saw red. While you were attempting to physically release all of your pain onto him, you felt Severide grab onto your waist and rip you off of your father. 

Your arms and legs were still thrashing about, despite your father being away from your grasp. “Come here, get off of him. It’s okay.” Severide tried to console you, but you were absolutely furious. 

“Y/N! Enough, he’s not worth it!!!” You heard Shay shouting from behind you. 

Once Severide knew you were done putting up a fight, he planted you back on the floor. You adjusted the stray hairs that had fallen all over your face and began to catch your breath. 

“What the hell’s going on?” Casey shouted from across the apparatus, walking over with his arms out in question. “Is everything okay?” He glanced between Severide - who looked like he was about to punch a wall, his jaw clenched- and you. 

“Nothing, he’s just leaving.” You said while trying to catch your breath, and resisting the urge to fight once again. 

Your father must’ve thought Casey was the chief, because he put his arms up in surrender, and turned on his heels. 

You immediately went into the driver’s seat of the ambulance to fully park it into the bay, as if your father were never here. 

Kelly put his hands on his hips, hanging his head low and then glancing back up towards Shay and Casey, squinting at them. He knew what it was like when family troubles came into the firehouse, so he felt for you. He didn’t like to see you upset, even though his feelings for you haven’t been confessed. 

“Who was that?” Casey asked, looking between Shay and Severide as if the answer lay between them. Severide gave him a ‘I’ll tell you later look’, motioning towards you with his eyes. 

Once you had parked, you opened the ambulance doors and began doing inventory. This was always how you distracted yourself against your mental struggles; pouring yourself into your job (and vodka into shot glasses). 

Severide knew you were going to say you were fine if he asked - even though you weren’t - so he gave you space. Severide and Casey headed into the firehouse, and Shay joined you in the back. She sat down on the stretcher and looked at you hesitantly. 

“Let’s just get through the rest of this shift, Shay” you looked at her, feeling her eyes burning into you with concern. She nodded in agreement. 

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“Oh myyy- Shay!!!!!! Do you remember that call- that- that” you couldn’t even get the words out, your drunken self barely able to comprehend reality. You completely forgot what you were saying because you were trying very hard to focus on pouring your shot. 

You had went back to Shay and Severide’s place after work, ready to get fucked up and forget about the day’s events.

Once you had finished pouring a - very large - shot, you walked back over to the couch to continue your story. “Kel, you’re going to pee your pants when you hear this.” You looked over at him and he nodded, anticipating your story. What your beer goggles were concealing was the look of concern on his face.

He was leaning back into the couch, one arm around the back of it. His other hand held a bottle of beer, which he had barely taken a sip out of- intentionally staying sober given your altered state. 

Shay got up as soon as you made it to the couch, grabbing the vodka bottle from the counter in an attempt to hide it. Severide saw what she was doing and attempted to distract you. “Okay, tell me this story Y/N” he chuckled, motioning you to sit down and face him. 

“I need more alcohol in order to get this out” you chuckled in response, clinking your shot glass against his very full beer - causing both your drinks to spill - and sending your head flying back to down the Ciroc. Severide rubbed your back when you were done- seeing the look on your face he knew it couldn’t of gone down well.

It’s not that they wanted you to get to these state of drunken toxicity- they didn’t want to send you in spiral by telling you to stop. You were a party girl, but they had never seen you get to this point. 

“Shay! Shay, I’m about to tell the story” you eagerly called her over, your hands signalling that you wanted her to come closer. 

The sudden eager movements you made caused the room to spin, despite you being seated, and you felt a wave of nausea. “You okay?” Shay asked, walking over as you had asked, and immediately noticing the pale look on your face. 

“I’m-” you were interrupted by a burp, and the urge to spill your stomach’s content. “I’m fine- help me tell this story” you giggled, ignoring the sick feeling. If you paid too much attention to it, you knew it would make you feel worse. 

“And what story is that, Y/N” Shay looked over to you, a smile on her face as she brushed a stray hair out of your face. She was worried about her best friend, and she could tell that Severide was too. 

“A coupl- Oh god” You didn’t even hesitate, you just made a run for the closest bathroom, knowing it was inevitable. You made it to Kelly’s en-suite and un-ate the pizza slices you had a few hours before. Kelly immediately ran after you, seeing you crouched next to the toilet bowl. He knelt down to gather your hair in his hands and began to softly rub your back. “It’s okay” he whispered soothly.

Shay was leaning against the door frame of the bathroom with a glass of water. She leaned over and handed it to Kelly, who encouraged you to drink your first non-alcoholic/ caffeinated beverage of the day. “Here love. Drink this.” He held up the cup to your lips, helping your weak body to drink. 

The sudden influx of liquid triggered your stomach to un-eat a second time. Severide was right behind you the entire time, making sure your hair was out of your face. “Can you wet this Shay?” He handed her a face towel from his towel rack, planning to put it on your neck and cool you down. 

Once you were done, you felt absolutely exhausted. You leaned back onto Severide’s chest, your head falling to the side and your eyes closing. He looked at Shay with a look of worry but also relief, knowing that sleeping was a better result than putting yourself at a higher risk for alcohol poisoning.

He picked you up and walked over to his bed, gently placing you in the middle. Grabbing a blanket to drape over you, he made sure you were on your side in case you got sick again. 

Him and Shay both walked out of the bedroom, deciding to let you rest. 

“That was bad, Kelly.” Shay started pacing around, running her hands across her face and through her hair in stress. “I’ve never seen her get like that.” The two friends looked at each other, unaware of how to best support their friend. 

“We have to make sure he never goes near her” Kelly said, looking up at Shay with a look of anger on his face. It was your decision to get that fucked up, but it was ultimately your upbringing and your father’s re-appearance that encouraged the excessive drinking that night. Whoever’s fault, he knew that you would be okay if it weren’t for the guest appearance you had to deal with. 

Shay nodded in agreement. She began to clean up their place, white claws and packs of cigarettes, and rolling papers everywhere. You enjoyed rolling when you were drunk. 

“I’m gonna run by her place, pack her a bag” Severide announced to Shay, who supported the idea.  

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Severide pulled up to your street in his Mustang, reaching for the spare bag he put in his passenger’s seat. He was about to get out until he saw a familiar vehicle he had seen at the firehouse earlier that day- a grey Honda civic. He was almost positive it belonged to your father, because he had watched him leave the firehouse to make sure he had truly left.

He made a phone call. “Hey man.. yeah everything’s okay, I just need you to do me a favour. Can you run this plate? It’s CD 37846.” As soon as Jay confirmed what Severide somehow already knew, he hung up and got out of the car, gunning it for your dad. 

Tapping on the window aggressively with his knuckle, he motioned your father to roll the window down. As soon as it came down, the smell of alcohol flooded his nose. 

“You have 1 minute to drive away, and if you ever come back here, so help me god you’re going to regret it” Kelly spat out, trying to comprehend that this was his reality, and also trying to keep himself from beating your dad to a pulp. 

Your dad chuckled with amusement, laughing at the threat that was made to him. He took a swig from his Whiskey bottle, almost as if to calm him down. “You may tell my daughter what to do, but you sure as hell don’t tell me what to do” your dad looked over at Kelly, making it very clear that he was unfazed by his comment. 

“We’ll see about that” Kelly tapped the window, making his way up your front steps. He didn’t want to give your dad the time of day- he didn’t deserve it. 

“That girl has commitment issues, so I would watch it if I were you. She’s a whore just like her mother, don’t be scared to hit her if she falls out of line.” It didn’t even take your dad finishing his sentence for Kelly to walk back to the car, open the driver door, and drag him out onto the floor. 

He began throwing punches, and couldn’t even make out his surroundings while doing so. All he focused on was how good the anger felt as it seeped out of his skin, blow after blow. The pain his shoulder felt was the least of his concerns. 

The anger completely overtaking him, he didn’t even notice Jay arrived, attempting to disrupt his punching spree. “Kelly! Hey! Stop it, man! Don’t to this.” Kelly was grabbed by Jay, and once he contained his anger he was let go. He spat on the floor right next to your father. 

“Kelly, who is this? What’s going on man?” Jay asked, slapping Kelly’s chest as if to reprimand him. 

“Y/N’s father. He’s stalking her, I don’t even know how he got her address. He was at the firehouse earlier today and wouldn’t leave, he has a bottle of whiskey in his car.” Kelly began pacing around, trying not to look at your father because if he did, he’d want to hurt him even more. “He hits women, Jay. I can only imagine what he’s done to Y/N.” He began pacing around even more once he imagined the possibility of you getting hurt at the hands of your father, the man who was supposed to be your ultimate protector. 

Jay nodded in understanding, thinking about what the next steps are from here. 

“I’ll book him for the bottle, and I’ll say he got into a bar fight. D&D.” Kelly nodded. 

Jay turned your dad over and put cuffs on him, helping him stand up. When they walked over to the cop car, your dad made one last remark.

“That was nothing... I hurt them even worse than that” Your dad showed Kelly a toothy, bloody grin, chuckling in content with what he said. Kelly knew that if he ever saw him again, he couldn’t keep himself from killing him then and there. Jay roughly put him into the back of the car, and slammed the door. 

“I owe you Halstead.” Kelly said, and Jay quickly nodded his head. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kelly returned to the apartment, a bag of your belongings in his hand. He headed straight for the fridge, actually ready (and feening) for some beer. He was glad Shay seemed to be asleep- he didn’t want to discuss the events that just took place.

He opened his bedroom door and peered in. You were laying on your slide sleeping peacefully. He walked over and took a seat right next to you, moving a strand of hair that fell in your field of view out of the way. Caressing your cheek, he thought to himself that his feelings for you were stronger than he had imagined. He ended up falling asleep right next to you- a safe place for you both. 

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A/N: I’m so sorry that took so long! I hope you all enjoyed, and to the person who requested this- thank you, and I hope I met your expectations! This was my first request so that's super exciting. I don’t know if I made Kelly wayyy too protective in this, but I love it just the same. Keep sending in some requests :)  Also, I'm going to try to set up a masterlist, so stay tuned for that.

[jjacob]

all i want for christmas is you

❝ the school had started to take notice of you. lee juyeon, however, had always noticed. ❞

PAIRING ▸ lee juyeon x fem!reader (ft. best friend!lee minho)

GENRES ▸ fluff, high school au, sports au, best friends to lovers au

WARNINGS ▸ mild profanity but !! lots of !! fluff !! 

SUMMARY ▸ the bet was simple: find a date to the winter ball. the only problem was that juyeon didn’t want just any girl. he wanted you.

PLAYLIST ▸ all i want for christmas is you by mariah carey

WORD COUNT ▸ 5055 words

AUTHOR’S NOTE ▸ merry christmas! this is a gift for addy @honeyju​ the biggest juyeon simp ik !! ily addy i am excited/scared/not emotionally ready to read the minho one which ! btw y’all should read here bc our stories are loosely connected! also disclaimer: i know jack shit ab football but i tried

LEE JUYEON TENDED TO REGRET HALF THE THINGS HE SAID SOMETIMES. 

In eighth grade, Juyeon’s sense of humor was largely self-deprecating and consisted of saying he wanted to die at the slightest inconvenience. But, with his spectacular timing, he let the joke slip in front of a teacher once and froze up upon seeing her concerned expression. Juyeon later received a note from the counselor’s office and had to convince them that he was perfectly fine.

In tenth grade, Juyeon had grown past his phase of dark humor and moved onto high school football. He made the cut for the team the previous year, and managed to make it on the varsity team by the time he was a sophomore. In the beginning of the season, they asked who wanted to be captain the next year, and Juyeon boldly declared that he did. Thus, he was ridiculed and sentenced to pick up balls and clean up the gym after every practice from then on.

Now, as a high school junior in the varsity football team, Juyeon had screwed himself over by making a stupid bet with his best friend, Lee Minho.

Lee Minho was, in short, a conniving bastard. Juyeon never should have trusted him and gone along with his antics. The mere thought of what he had gotten himself into was enough to send his heart into overdrive.

The bet sounded simple enough: find a date to the Winter Ball.

Of course, it was easier said than done, but Juyeon was a star athlete and had girls sliding in his DMs left and right. He could easily find a date if he wanted to, and, honestly, Juyeon only needed to send a few texts and he would probably be secured for the dance. The problem was, however, that Juyeon only wanted you.

Minho was well aware of Juyeon’s pitiful, unrequited love towards you. It was probably the reason he suggested the bet; his best friend either wanted to see him miserable or see him score a chance with you. Either way, Juyeon wasn’t sure his heart was ready to shoot his shot.

Juyeon had crushed on you ever since you sat next to him in the seventh grade and let him borrow your pencil. It was such a silly start to his admiration for you, but his feelings grew stronger when the both of you actually became friends. You were so bright when you laughed, so sweet when you spoke, and so adorable when you smiled. Juyeon had never felt this way about anyone else and always got butterflies when he saw you. Juyeon was never one to chase after girls but he would find himself constantly thinking about what you were up to and having several internal dilemmas over whether he should ask you to hang out or not.

Five years later and Juyeon still harbored feelings for you. Now, they had matured into something deeper, but you still racked his brain nevertheless. It didn’t help that you had a major glow-up in high school and were probably the most beautiful person Juyeon had ever seen.

The school started to take notice of you.

Juyeon, on the other hand, had always noticed.

“Are you sure we can finish a medium before practice?” Minho asked Juyeon, setting a box of pizza on the table in front of him. “Also, I saw Y/N by the gym earlier.”

Juyeon perked up. “Y/N?”

“Yeah,” Minho replied, grabbing a slice of pepperoni pizza for himself. “You know what day it is, right?”

Minho took a bite out of his pizza, observing Juyeon with a raised brow. His best friend was on the baseball team but treating themselves to pizza had become a monthly ritual. Despite being on different teams, he was closer to Minho than his football teammates.

“Thursday?”

“And that means?”

Right.

Juyeon had formulated an elaborate plan to ask you out during the football game today, but, of course, it all depended on whether their team won or not. It would have been kind of ridiculous to propose after a loss. On the bright side, he knew he could count on the fact that you’d actually be present considering you were a cheerleader.

But what if you already had a date? You surely hadn’t mentioned it to him or posted about it on social media, so he was riding on an assumption that you haven’t been asked. That was bizarre to Juyeon, though, because you were the prettiest person he had ever seen. However, it was true that you were gradually getting popular, and that made Juyeon a touch nervous.

“I ask her out tomorrow,” Juyeon breathed out. “Am I ready for this?”

Minho scoffed lightly. “Are you ever?”

Juyeon frowned at his best friend, scrunching up his nose at his distasteful comment. “What about you? Have you gotten a date?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

Juyeon sighed. That was probably all he would get out of Lee Minho today. Once Minho set his mind on something, he carried it out diligently until the end. Juyeon honestly had no idea who he wanted to bring since Minho didn’t like talking about girls he was interested in, but he supposed it wasn’t that big of a deal as long as his best friend was happy.

It wasn’t like Juyeon was never going to hear about his friend’s endeavors. After all, he did pick up on Minho’s slow descent from an apathetic individual to a whipped ball of fluff. If Juyeon mentioned that to his best friend, however, he would probably be ridiculed for consistently being whipped for you since the seventh grade.

Juyeon nearly jumped out of his seat at the sound of his ringer going off. He scrambled to pull his phone out of his pocket, ignoring Minho’s teasing smirk at the sight of his frazzled self.

y/n: hey :) i’m gonna drop off some gingerbread cookies my mom made after practice so lmk when i can come over

Juyeon must have saved a country in a past life for this kind of luck.

juyeon: i love your mom’s cookies. you can come over whenever you’d like

y/n: how about we walk home together after practice?

juyeon: sounds good to me

Now, the pizza was starting to make his mouth water, but if you were walking home with him, Juyeon was ready to drop it and run to see you even though he loved pizza. But Juyeon loved you more than he loved pizza, and he believed that was true love.

“She made me cookies,” Juyeon announced.

“She made you cookies,” Minho repeated, leaning forward in surprise.

“Well, her mom did, but yeah.”

Minho turned his attention back to his pizza. “So this is about your mommy kink again.”

“I don’t have a fucking mommy—why would you say that?” Juyeon cried out, kicking his friend’s shin under the table.

“You don’t? Last time I checked, she was making dinner in the kitchen when I came over yesterday.”

“I’m talking about the kink!”

Yet, even a silly back-and-forth with Minho couldn’t get Juyeon down from his high over you. He was still processing the fact that you were going to walk home with him and, if Juyeon played his cards right, maybe he could get a feel of how comfortable you would be if he asked you out during the game tomorrow.

Minho snickered. “You look happy.”

Juyeon couldn’t even mask his lovesick smile and flushed cheeks. He folded his arms on the table in front of him and buried his face in them, his head spinning at the thought of you.

“Shut up, Minho.”

The only problem with you being on the cheerleading team was that you were extremely distracting.

Juyeon was the star quarterback and frankly, it was kind of pathetic that the one thing that kicked him in the ass was seeing you in the knee socks and pom-poms. It didn’t help that you were a flyer so Juyeon’s stomach pitted with anxiety whenever he saw you being thrown up and whenever he heard a scream coming from the direction of the cheerleaders.

Today was different, though. Juyeon could care less about the screams and falls from the corner of the field. All he could think about was you and how he was going to ask you out. If his plan was going to work, it was going to draw a lot of attention and be quite embarrassing if it failed.

All of his confidence got knocked down with a single sweep when he saw someone asked you to the dance.

One of the cheerleaders broke into a fit of giggles at the sight, clasping a hand over her mouth. “Oh my god!”

You were frozen stiff, an awkward smile on your face as the guy walked onto the field with a sign and about a dozen roses. Juyeon could feel his heart sinking to the ground with each step the guy took, with each second his smile grew brighter.

“Is he seriously confessing during practice?” Sohn Youngjae asked, brows furrowed as he rested his arm on Juyeon’s shoulder. “That’s real brave.”

“What’s his deal doing it here? He isn’t even on the team,” Juyeon said, coming off more bitter than he had expected.

Younghoon scoffed. “It’s a bold move. He must be confident that Y/N’s going to say yes.”

Juyeon squared his shoulders. He was conflicted with the swell of anger and deflation of you possibly being taken, but nevertheless, all he could do was watch helplessly as you were being asked out. From where they were on the field, Juyeon couldn’t hear much, but he could see your reactions quite well. The wolf-whistles and cheers were pissing him off, but he was fixed on you.

He turned to look towards Minho, who was practicing on the field adjacent to theirs. His best friend met his gaze immediately like they had some form of exclusive telepathic communication. Minho nodded towards you and raised a brow, as if nudging Juyeon to go interrupt them. That, however, was something he was far too cowardly to bring himself to do.

Your voice resounded clearer than Juyeon had expected.

“I’m really sorry,” you apologized sincerely, ducking your head and keeping your hands entwined behind you. “I’m not interested, but I do appreciate the gesture.”

Juyeon felt a weight lift off of his chest. He wasn’t sure if he should’ve felt relieved that you shot him down or nervous that you rejected an attractive, confident guy who clearly liked you. However, he soon had no time to mull over that when the guy’s reaction was getting more aggressive than crestfallen.

“Y/N, I asked you out in front of all these people,” he said with a distasteful laugh. “Are you seriously rejecting me right now?”

“Sorry, I just don’t want to go with you,” you replied firmly, voice dropping as you became more conscious of your surroundings. “I’m sorry it had to be public but you didn’t really give me a choice.”

For a split second, Juyeon wondered how he could still hear you when you were practically muttering at this point, and then he realized that he started walking to you without even realizing. His feet carried him unknowingly, hand balled at his side and eyes stony and trained on the guy.

“You could’ve just accepted it and told me later that you didn’t want to go with me,” he said with a scoff. “It’s like you enjoy humiliating others publicly.”

Your teammates rushed forward to argue and fend him off while you opened your mouth to protest, but Juyeon was faster, moving in front of you so he was head-to-head with the guy.

“She said she’s not interested,” he said with a threatening undertone, wondering where he managed to muster up the courage to be this assertive.

You were visibly shocked by Juyeon’s actions, and he couldn’t even blame you because he was equally just as surprised as you were. Yet, all he could do was glare daggers down at the other guy with steely eyes and frown until he backed off.

“Thanks,” you said softly once the guy had left.

Juyeon was flustered by all the girls giggling behind you but was amazed by how cool and collected you remained despite that. He turned to you, eyes softening and shoulders relaxing. He knew he was getting an earful about this from his teammates after practice and most definitely from Minho as well.

“No problem,” Juyeon replied, cheeks red. “He was bothering you. I couldn’t just ignore it.”

“That was really sweet of you, Juyeon.” You bit back a smile and suggested, “Meet you at the front gates after practice?”

“See you then.”

Even though Juyeon could’ve spent the rest of practice talking to you, he sprinted back as fast as he could because his cheeks were only getting redder as the cheerleaders gushed about what he did for you. He could hear their gossip and whispering even as he was running back to his team. Juyeon was positive he wouldn’t escape the embarrassment, though, because Lee Jaehyun was smirking at him when he got back.

“You’re blushing, dude.”

Juyeon shoved him.

There was a universal law that was newly decreed. It read: Lee Minho shall never text, call, or speak to Lee Juyeon whenever Y/N was around.

The reason for that being the fact that Juyeon was easily embarrassed and Minho’s texts were not helping his case. He felt it was rude enough to check his phone while he was walking with you, but every time he saw a notification flash, his eyes widened with sheer distress over Minho’s texts.

minho: like three people asked me if you and y/n are fucking bc of what you pulled during practice today

minho: wait are y’all fucking and just not telling me

minho: i knew it was sus that she was coming over to your house

juyeon: fake news!! stop making me feel shy :(

Juyeon decided he had enough Lee Minho for today and turned off his phone.

“That was honestly the coolest thing I’ve ever seen you do,” you gushed to Juyeon as you walked home with him, fingers looped around the straps of your backpack. “Way cooler than you punting footballs.”

“No need to flatter me,” Juyeon replied coolly but his shy smile and red-tipped ears said otherwise. “That guy was being unnecessarily aggressive.”

“His proposal was out of nowhere!” you exclaimed. “I don’t get what he expected me to do.”

Juyeon smiled through the pain. Lord, give me strength, he prayed to whatever divine power was out there.

“Are you not interested in having a date to the dance then?” Juyeon asked, looking down at you curiously.

You paused for a moment and Juyeon thought his heart would stop in anticipation for your answer. Come to think of it, he had never seen you go to a school dance with a date before. You were always with your friend group. It wouldn’t be out of the ordinary to see you stick with them, but Juyeon was hoping he could change that.

“Well,” you started, “if the right person asked me then I wouldn’t be opposed.”

Juyeon couldn’t exactly read your smile but it made him want to faint. The rest of the walk back home was spent talking about school and football, but Juyeon couldn’t get your answer to his question out of his head. He even walked past his house because his head was so full of you, resulting in you needing to stop him and tell him that they had already reached his place.

“Y/N! It’s so good to see you!” Juyeon’s mom chirped with a good-natured smile. “How has your mom been?”

Juyeon’s eyes widened upon the realization that they never stopped by at your place first to get the cookies. He opened his mouth to interject but you went on to answer.

“She’s been great, Mrs. Lee,” you replied, smiling just as big, and pulled out a box of cookies from your bag. “She wanted me to give these to you.”

“That’s so sweet! Give her my thanks,” his mom replied and opened the door wider once she accepted the cookies. “Come in for some tea, will you?”

Juyeon was practically frozen at the doorway while you were taking off your shoes and walking inside. If you had the cookies with you this entire time, then why didn’t you just give them to him to take home himself? Unless you were worried about the courtesy, it was a bit out of your way to take the time to walk home with Juyeon to deliver them.

“Juyeon, what are you doing out there?” his mom asked. “Come inside. It’s cold.”

“Right.”

Having you over at his house wasn’t exactly the sparkly fantasy that Juyeon thought it would be.

He was getting quite jealous of your mom hogging all of your attention. It wasn’t like you and Juyeon drifted apart during high school, so he wasn’t sure why his mom had to pull you away from him and have her own conversation with you. The worst part was that Juyeon couldn’t even join in on the conversation. He had no idea what they were even talking about.

That is, until his mom brought up the dance.

“Do you have a date, Y/N?” Juyeon’s mom asked.

“I don’t,” she replied. “I usually just go with my friends.”

“You’re so pretty, though,” Mrs. Lee tutted. “I’m sure someone must’ve asked you out.”

“Actually, someone asked me today,” you said. There was a moment of silence as you looked over at Juyeon while his gaze bore into yours. For a moment, you were struggling for what to say, mouthing words that weren’t being processed. Juyeon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly once you regained your composure. “Juyeon actually helped me out.”

Mrs. Lee straightened up. “My son did?” She looked amused as she turned to Juyeon.

“Yeah,” you answered, grinning. “He was really cool.”

Juyeon blushed darkly once their eyes were on him. “W-what? I couldn’t ignore it. I wasn’t even doing that much. I was just helping out. You know, being a decent person,” he rambled and stood up. “Anyways, isn’t it getting late? Mom, Y/N has to go home soon and it’s gonna be pitch black outside if you keep her here.”

“Oh, you’re right.” Mrs. Lee frowned as she peered out the window. “Juyeon, you walk her home then.”

“What?” he sputtered out, looking between you and his mom before he caved, muttering, “I’ll go get my jacket.”

After an exchange of goodbyes, you had stepped out of the house and waited while Juyeon was slipping his shoes on. There was a moment of struggle where he had tied his laces too tight and couldn’t get the shoe on but he managed to slip it on after a few seconds of internal screaming. Juyeon zipped up his jacket the moment he stepped outside, the brisk coldness making his goosebumps rise.

“You really don’t have to walk me back,” you told Juyeon. “It’s cold outside.”

“It’s really late,” Juyeon replied, rubbing his hands together in hopes that the friction would provide some heat. “You shouldn’t be walking home by yourself, and I really don’t mind.”

“Thanks,” you mumbled, ducking your face. “For this, for what you did during practice—everything.”

Juyeon was glad that you weren’t looking at him because his mouth was opening and closing over and over again like a fish. He was also thankful for the fact that he could blame the dust of pink across his cheeks on the cold winter bite. Unfortunately, you lived close by so Juyeon didn’t have time to come up with a cool response and he didn’t want to leave things like this. There was a good vibe going on and he was upset that he couldn’t act upon it; when it came to you, Lee Juyeon was a coward.

“Um, we’re here so…” Juyeon trailed off when he turned to you, sort of thrown off by how beautiful you looked with your windswept hair and flushed cheeks. Dazed, he reached forward and moved a strand of your hair out of your face. “It’s good I walked you home and you’re not like, lost or… something—I’ll shut up now.”

You laughed, and it was an octave higher as if you were rattled from him touching your hair. “Ah, yes, a few streets down can be a harrowing trek.”

Juyeon laughed with you before his eyes settled on you. Your hands were crossed, rubbing your arms that were prickled with goosebumps. A wave of guilt washed through Juyeon and led him to strip his jacket off immediately. He ignored the piercing chill and put his jacket around your shoulders, making sure they covered your bare arms.

“My house is right here,” you argued. “You’re going to be cold.”

“Keep it on. I have something to tell you after the game,” Juyeon said firmly. It was his second burst of courage for you today and he was a little too amped up for his own good. “If you don’t like it then give me back my jacket tomorrow.”

Before you could respond, Juyeon turned on his heel and bolted home, the biggest grin across his face because he was head-over-heels for you.

Juyeon had never been so nervous in his life.

The game was underway, Juyeon’s leg bouncing as he eyeballed the scoreboard. His team was strong in the first two quarters, cutting it close by the third, but now they were neck-to-neck. They had ended with a tie and now they decided to go into overtime for the sake of choosing a winner for the game. It was a sudden death round so whoever scored first would win the game. Juyeon, however, found it difficult to concentrate.

Especially with Lee Minho breathing down his back.

“Are you ready?” his best friend asked.

“Yes—well, no, but I don’t really have a choice.”

“That’s true.”

“I already made the sign and told the team and everything,” Juyeon whined. “I really screwed myself over, Minho.”

Minho pushed at the back of his head. “Dude, I’m talking about the game.”

“Oh, that—that’s fine,” Juyeon stammered. “Fifteen minutes—we just have to win, and then I have to ask out the most amazing person I’ve ever met.”

“You could chicken out,” Minho suggested, “but that also comes with me never letting you live it down.”

“You see, I kind of already implied that I’m going to tell her something important.”

“You did?” Minho’s voice was somewhere between shocked and impressed.

“Shit, I gotta go,” Juyeon muttered, pushing himself off the bench. “Keep the poster safe for me!”

“Good luck, champ!”

Juyeon, sweaty and bangs sticking to his forehead, had to ignore every distraction and think about winning the game before his stomach threw itself into a pool of anxiety over asking you out. He got in a huddle with his team in the remaining fifteen seconds they had before they had to get in formation and lowered the facemask of his helmet. It was up to this one last play to determine whether they would win the game or not.

“Just like we practiced, alright?” Juyeon told them. “Double-wing power pass. We get them to bite thinking it’s a run play and then open up a passing lane.”

“Alright, let’s go,” Jaehyun cheered, and the rest of them put in their mouth guards and lowered their facemasks.

Juyeon took a shaky breath as he got in formation at the line of scrimmage. His heart was racing but he wasn’t sure it was about the game. Nevertheless, he steeled his nerves and held his ground. The whistle blew and the crowd was silent, observing the tension on the field carefully.

“Silver-80! Silver-80! Hut! Hut! Hike!” Juyeon yelled, and the center, Sangyeon, snapped the ball to him.

Juyeon faked a handoff to Jaehyun, the fullback, and spun around, rolling to his right. Changmin sped up in front of Juyeon to defend him. A smile tugged at Juyeon’s lips. Their plan was working just as he intended, but there was a problem: they couldn’t open up a passing lane for the running backs like he thought they would. The play was too rushed, so it wasn’t ever a guarantee.

So Juyeon had to do what he would normally deem crazy.

He spun at the sight of the other team coming to tackle him and skirted around the field, belting down the field. He dodged past another linebacker that tried to body him. His primary motivation was that he didn’t want a concussion before he confessed to you, but he assumed it was okay to admit that to himself as long as he didn’t throw the game.

Juyeon felt a hand grab him but he pushed forward, running across the goal line and into the end zone. He threw the ball down and cried out in joy as he scored a touchdown. The whistle blew and the scoreboard flipped. They won.

He did it.

Juyeon’s team ran to him, cheering at the top of their lungs. He was lifted up on Jaehyun and Younghoon’s shoulders, grinning happily before his heart sunk back down. The cheerleaders ran to the field, cheering and tossing their pom poms up. The crowd was roaring. Juyeon was realizing that he had to do the scariest thing that a heterosexual teenage boy ever had to experience.

“Jaehyun, Jaehyun,” Juyeon tapped his shoulder quickly. “We have no time. I have to do it now.”

“Oh shit.”

Jaehyun and Younghoon dropped Juyeon onto the turf. Juyeon winced at the sudden impact, gathering himself back to his feet and hoping you didn’t witness that. Jaehyun gave him a half-assed apology and pushed him forward to run and get his poster and flowers from Minho. Jaehyun then grabbed Changmin by the shoulders, urging him to go to the announcer’s booth.

Juyeon sprinted over to Minho, waving his hands dramatically. “Give, give, give,” he demanded amongst all the cheering.

Minho didn’t waste any time and pushed the poster and bouquet into Juyeon’s hands. “Break a leg, tiger.”

“Trust me, I nearly did.”

Juyeon jogged back onto the field, cheeks hot and head a little dizzy for what was about to come. He didn’t even tell his mom he was going to ask you out and she had to watch her son ask his best friend out to the dance. This was probably going to be a moment of utter humiliation but once Juyeon saw you in your high ponytail with a bright smile on your face, all that fear faded away and it was just you and him.

More importantly, you were wearing his jacket over your uniform and Juyeon felt like he was going to combust from the cuteness.

“Guys, guys,” Jaehyun called to the team. “Surround Juyeon. Make sure Y/N doesn’t see him.”

Juyeon’s heart was beating a hundred miles per second. He was glad he was running on the adrenaline from winning the game because otherwise, he would be cowering in fear and sweating buckets right now.

“Everyone, listen up!” Changmin spoke over the intercom. “First of all, the football team scored a major dub today—ow! Sunwoo, cut it out—alright, I’ll get to it!” Changmin broke from the mic and started bickering with Sunwoo.

There was a pause, and Juyeon was surprised to hear Minho’s voice fill the speakers, “Anyways, my buddy and our star quarterback, Juyeon, has something to say for a special someone.”

The crowd fell silent, a couple cheers and wolf-whistles as it was pretty obvious that a confession was about to happen.

“This is so fucking fluffy,” Sunwoo mumbled.

“Shut up, Sunwoo,” Juyeon replied, nudging him with his elbow.

The football team moved out of the way so that they weren’t huddled around Juyeon anymore. Juyeon’s breath caught in his throat as he walked forward to the middle of the field, holding up his sign, reading: Will you be my sunshine?

“Y/N,” he called out loudly, “honestly this confession is long overdue, but will you go to Winter Ball with me tonight and be my sunshine?”

The crowd started cheering and whistling again, and Juyeon wanted to die. She hadn’t even given him her answer yet and everyone was acting like she had agreed and they eloped. The cheerleaders pushed Y/N forward and she approached Juyeon, looking like a deer in headlights.

Juyeon took another shaky breath and continued, “I’ve been in love with you for so long so it would be an honor if I could take you to the dance,” he said and his voice dropped to a whisper. “I’m sorry if this is uncomfortable for you.”

You bit your lip but that wasn’t enough to contain the happiness that showed on your face. You zipped up Juyeon’s jacket and threw yourself into his arms. Everyone practically exploded but Juyeon was sure his heartbeat was louder. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face into your shoulder.

Was this what people called a Christmas miracle?

“Oh shit!” Changmin screamed over the intercom. (“Shut up, they’re having a moment,” Minho’s faint voice was picked up in the background).

“Oh my god, you just made me the happiest man alive,” he mumbled.

You pulled back and reached forward to move his damp bangs off of his forehead. “Took you long enough.”

“Wait, did you—did you like me?” Juyeon choked out.

You laughed and cupped his face in your hands. There was a shaky inhale and exhale of breaths when his lips brushed against yours, and Juyeon closed the distance, kissing you like he was starved of your touch. His hold tightened on you as you melted into him, and then you both pulled away, smiling and dazed and lovesick.

You giggled. “Does that answer your question?”

“Yes,” he breathed out, grinning as he brushed his nose against yours.

Juyeon could care less about all the presents and holiday cheer because he had you and you were all he wanted.

[kanene-yaaay]

Idk if you ship AllEraserMic, BUT:

Yagi is sad/grumpy bean bc he feels like he’s not getting enough attention in the relationship so he ignores his partners and avoids them. Then they ask him to go on a date, then he makes some snarky comment and that triggers tickles and eventually a conversation where they talk and make up! >w< No more grumpy Yagi

If you do not ship feel free to make it platonic!

(AllEraserMic is one of my favorite pairings, actually, both in platonic or romantic scenarios. They're just so adorable and cute together <333. Well, thank you for your asky! I hope you like this! :DD)

Warnings: Angst, hurt/comfort, mouth tickles, Ler!Hizashi, Ler!Aizawa and Lee!Yagi. Romantic Pairing. Lack of communication. Happy ending. Cheer up tickles

[~*~]

"Toshinori." The one being called felt the careful way Hizashi pronounced the name, getting close to his form and that made clear that the conversation he has been avoiding for days now was inevitable. Shit. "Toshi, that is the third time you canceled our date this month, what happened?"

"I thought you were going to visit the new restaurant close to UA, today." He deflected, not really answering, not really not answering, too.

“We decided against it. It is no fun if you aren’t there, ya know?” Hizashi tried a more upbeat tone, trying to mask at least part of the worry in his sentence, this realization made the other hero’s stomach turn, especially when he couldn’t stop the way his own expression turned in a frown with those words. Without even prying his eyes away from the tests he was grading Yagi knew that such reaction didn’t go unnoticed by the other two, especially with the way Aizawa drummed his fingertips on the door’s frame, where he was inclined.

And it wasn’t fair. He knew it. It wasn’t totally fair to avoid his partners just as he has been doing on those days, expecting them to know exactly not only what was wrong but also how to comfort him. The thing is: it was hard. It was very hard to listen to them laughing and recounting their stories and shenanigans of old Yuuei’s days on the teacher’s lounge, where they would playfully poke fun at each other and talk about how they both were probably responsible for a bunch of teacher’s retirement and, sitting there, smiling, drinking tea and humming in agreement on appropriate times, Yagi couldn’t help but feel…

Left out.

He didn’t have the history both Aizawa and Hizashi had with each other, and that made a mix of feelings - the ones that left you afraid of what would happen if you just let them out - boil in his blood. That is why he began to slowly pull himself out of their activities.

(And a part of him continued to wish with all his might that they would realize his plan, see behind his façade and ask him to come back.)

However, he missed them. He missed Aizawa’s soft touch and Yamada’s ringing laughter. He missed their mess when they insisted on cooking together and the fake fights they had over who would choose the movie they would watch. All of this, together with how much he trusted them and knew, deep down, that what he was doing was just dodging the problem, made him grumpy. Extremely grumpy, even if most of the time the former number one hero managed to keep all his snappy comments to himself.

“Toshi…” It was the warm touch of Hizashi’s hands on his shoulders that made it. It gave him a reminder of what he could enjoy if he just told them.

Before he even realized the words were already coming out of his lips. “Well, that didn’t seem to be a problem before.”

Wide eyes, Yagi’s head snapped upwards, staring at his partners, locking his gaze Aizawa’s stared him back, concentrated eyes, watching him as he was a puzzle he was trying to resolve before traveling his glare to Yamada, wincing at the surprise and worry that now freely danced on his face.

“I,” His words stumbled for a few pieces of second, trying to repair what he said. “I- That was- What I said was unnecessary… I will make dinner right now.”

But Aizawa angled his body so he was between the tall blonde and the room’s door, arms crossed, eyes still searching.

“We can order something later, what we need to do right now is stop running around the problem and talk.”

“Direct to the point…” His shoulders slumped, suddenly tired. “As expected from the pro hero Eraserhead.”

And then something softened on the other’s gaze. He moved forward, taking his hand and running his thumb on Toshinori’s palm, leading to something on Yagi’s chest also get softer.

“This is not a thing I am saying as Eraserhead, this is me as Shouta wanting to understand what is happening, which can’t happen if you don’t communicate.”

Yagi could see how honest he was being. He could feel his own barriers start to crumble right here and now, against his own internal battle.

Hands came back to rest on his shoulders, he turned around only to find the Voice hero’s vivid eyes locking their gazes together, care shining strongly on them. “We’ve been missing you, Toshinori, and we want this to work, so, please?” Thumbs began to softly massage the base of his neck and that was the moment he basically melted, pretending to not notice how smug Yamada’s expression got at his reaction. “Now, can we stop being a grumpy pants and chat for a bit, pretty please?”

Aizawa snickered, heading them to their shared bed.

“Not grump.” He grumbled half heartedly, a part of his soul feeling much lighter that they didn’t immediately kick him out for showing a negative emotion.

Talking about that. “I am… truly sorry for snapping and avoiding you. That wasn’t very mature of me.”

“I forgive you.” Hizashi smiled reassuringly at him as Aizawa nodded. “Let’s just try to talk before something like that happens again, ok, my favorite listener?”

“I promise I will do my best.”

Hizashi hummed happily and lowered his head to give him a quick peck on his lips. Yagi then turned to Aizawa, eyes gleaming. The black haired hero huffed and rolled his eyes, not unkindly, before also giving him a kiss.

And then they talked and talked and talked.

…

“Urg. Feelings.” Aizawa threw himself face first on the mattress, groaning in protest when Yamada was quick to follow him, rolling on his back just so he could lay on the right side of Toshinori, successfully sandwiching him between the youngest heros.

“Tell me about that.” Yagi chuckled, pulling his partners close with a content hum, feeling much lighter now than in the last three weeks.

“I don’t know…” Yamada made two of his fingers walk on the right side of the blonde. “I think grumpy All Might had its advantages. It was quite cute.”

“Hizashi…” A couple of titters painted his words, making the other’s grin grow bigger. His fingers started to walk higher, resting and vibrating on his lowest ribs “No!” The Symbol of Peace snorted, his body squirming and trying to escape the attack. “No, Hizashi, it t-ti-tickles!”

“What? No, no, sir!” Yamada laughed, his other hand shooting to tickle his right armpits, making the former number one hero gasp, wiggling from one side to another with louder giggles, trying to escape from one offending hand only to throw himself to another one. “Do you think you can escape my affectionate attack, huh, do you? No, no, my darling. You’re going to receive all the tickly-tickly-tickles for ever and ever until you remember very well how much we love you, right, Shou?”

Yagi’s eyes widened and he turned around, a gigantic wobbly smile plastered on his face and shiny eyes staring directly at the black haired one, who tried his best to not look too fond at his partner’s silliness. Yagi’s hands were quick to tangle themselves with his, huffs of laughter and squeals cutting and mixing themselves on his words.

“Sh-shouta, s-s-stop- stop him!” A snort flew through the air and Toshinori felt the tip of his ears burn. “Plehehease help!”

Aizawa looked at him for a moment before letting a smirk take over his expression.

“Since you asked so nicely…” His arms wrapped around him, being careful to avoid his injury, and he shoved his face on his so-sensitive neck, resting a series of buzzing, unbearable raspberries on the awfully ticklish spot. Yagi shrieked. “The sacrifices I make for you two.”

“Help me, not him!!” Tears began to collect on the corner of his eyes, loud, happy chuckles flying across the room as fingers wiggled and scribbled on his tickle spots and nibbles and raspberries made all his nerves tingle in joy, teases also dancing through the air and leaving a trail of warmth on his cheeks and heart.

And, in this moment, being hugged by two of the most special people in the world for him, Yagi Toshinori felt loved.