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marlahey · 3 years ago

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under the same roof part four: please say it

a harry styles rpf part four of six ratings/warnings: les sexy times like woah, sleepy sleepy intimacy because it hurts so good, too many conversations around food because it’s all annie knows notes: so my toxic trait is apparently only ever having the urge to write between 1-3am during some of the longest depressive periods of my life, but never actually writing because I’m supposed to be sleeping. good times!! I know it’s been literal years and we are so grateful to everyone who’s been waiting so patiently for the back half of UTSR. part 5 and 6 have actually been in good shape for a long time, so blame part 4 for this astronomical wait. I make no commitments as to when they’ll be up, but ideally over the next few weeks. maybe? hopefully. fingers crossed. no one knows, including aj and I. she sends her love. masterlist | part five (tbd) Sunday, 6th January 2019. 8:22 PM ………………………………………… “You’re being awfully quiet.”

“Yeah sorry,” you mumble. Take away from your favourite Vietnamese restaurant is carefully laid out on Harry’s coffee table. You think about Annie, and Harry’s goodbye with his daughter. “Just deciding what to eat.” The slightly grainy video version of India looks at you carefully over the rim of her beer. “Babe, just try and enjoy yourself, yeah?” She lowers her voice, as if you’re not currently alone in Harry’s flat and she in her room, and says gently, “He’s not here. You’re safe.” You nod half-heartedly, watching her adjust her bowl of pho carefully with one hand, chopsticks aloft in the other. “I know, I know. I can’t help it. I swear I’m going crazy, like, I feel like I see him everywhere but I know it’s not him, I just…” “I get it.” India’s empathy is never half-hearted; you try to submerge yourself in it like water. “You’ll feel better after you’ve eaten. We got your favorites.” “I guess.” She watches you fiddle with the paper sleeve of your chopsticks. “It’s not too late to come and stay at my flat—” “Indy.” “I can talk to my flatmates and my sofa is more comfortable than it—” “Harry already set up a mattress for me.” That stops India’s wheedling in its tracks. “You serious? Like a proper mattress?” “Yeah.” “That’s really sweet.” “I know, it’s actually really comfortable. I slept on it last night.” You lean your elbows on the table and cover your face with your hands. “He’s almost too kind—his whole family is—it makes me feel bad… He’s acting like I’m not inconveniencing him at all when like, I obviously am.” “Wait.” India’s jaw drops. “You met his whole family yesterday?” “Well, not technically his whole family. Just Sylvia’s mom and her fiancé.” “Sylvia?” “His daughter.” “Oh yeah. Future is female. We love her.” “They were the nicest people. They just acted like everything was normal and it… I don’t know.” You shrug. “It hasn’t felt like that in a while.” “Maybe, you’re not inconveniencing him that much, I dunno.” The smell of curry, spicy sweet and sour soup, and an order of morning glory had initially made your stomach growl. You’d ordered an extra serving of rice, anticipating keeping leftovers in Harry’s fridge– that is, until the whirlwind of his family took up every available inch of space in order to feed you. “Try to give him the benefit of the doubt, yeah?” India continues after you’ve taken a bite. “How’s that going by the way?” “It’s… ” You pick at a piece of okra from the soup bowl. “Yeah, it’s fine, it feels a bit like camping. I keep getting on the lift and automatically pressing the eighth floor and then remembering but it’s honestly nice not having to figure out a new tube schedule or running path or, like, place to park your car or whatever.” “I meant, how is it going with Harry?” The okra is too hot, but you keep chewing anyway. You know what she meant. “To be honest, we haven’t seen much of each other since the police station. I’ve been super busy with the archives and work stuff and Harry’s been spending a lot of time with Sylvia.” India’s eyes light up. “That’s adorable!” “No,” you shake your head. “It’s sad. She, like, has to stay at her mom’s an extra week instead of with him.” “Didn’t he suggest that though? He was the one who told the officer that you should—” “Well, he probably felt obligated since—” Your best friend cuts you off firmly with your own name. “Harry is a grown man. He has agency. There are different choices he could have made, and if it came down to it, there are other places you could have stayed. He decided to ask you to stay with him and that’s that.” India leans back, dropping her napkin onto the table as if to make her point. You just look at her, chewing. “You’re going to make one hell of an attorney when we graduate.” “Fucking right I am.” She winks. “So what are you two doing about, like… meals? Do you both go grocery shopping?” “I stopped by the shops today to pick up a few things. I don’t want Harry to think I’m using his apartment as like, a bed and breakfast or something. He’s cooked for me so far when we’re both home though—or he always fixes me a plate anyway.” “Have you like, offered him money?” “Yes! He won’t hear it.” She fans herself with her hand, pretending to swoon. “Such a gentleman.” “I know. It kills me.” You know you shouldn’t talk with your mouth half full, but India is long past caring. “It’s crazy. I think he just thinks I’m some broke uni student or whatever—and I mean, he’s not wrong… I think when this is all over I’m going to leave him a thank you card and a bottle of wine or something.” The conversation lulls for several minutes as you both eat, India her pho and you alternating spoonfuls of curry with the tart vegetables inside the soup. You wonder how much Vietnamese Harry can speak. “Do you think he likes you?” You pretend to be focused on ladling broth without spilling. “Definitely not. Well, maybe. I don’t know.” When you glance up, India’s expression is dubious at best. “I don’t know! We don’t see each other enough. Like, this morning I was out on a run before he even woke up. I think… yeah I think I’m going to try to spend as much time out of his way as possible, actually.” “Has he—have either of you brought up New Years?” “No.” The thought makes you wince. “I… I actually have to tell you something.” “Oh my god, spill.” You brace yourself. “We slept together.” “I knew it!” It comes out so loud as to be tinny from your terrible laptop speakers “Christ, relax!!” you hiss. “We didn’t have sex. I just slept in his bed, it was on the first night after that guy came back to knock on Harry’s door at like one o’clock in the morning and I was freaked out so we just… kind of, y’know.” “Who initiated it?” “Me! Of course it was me. Harry wouldn’t… ” You sigh, shaking your head. “Nothing else happened.” “Did it make you feel better?” she asks gently. “Yes…” You don’t know why it’s so hard to admit, but you feel a rush of that same weight immediately lifting like it had two nights ago. “It did. I felt so much better.” India’s switch from gentle understanding to exasperation gives you whiplash. “Then what is the bloody spare mattress for?” You give her a sidelong look. “I’m thinking it was like a one-time thing, Indy.” “Do you want it to be a one-time thing?” she presses. You fiddle with the last piece of squid in the curry bowl. “I don’t know.” “Well have you even talked about it?” You shake your head. “Yeah but… obviously now’s not the time for that.” India snorts; you narrow your eyes at her. “What?” “This is so gonna blow up in your face.” “I have no idea what you mean,” you reply, sounding defensive even to yourself. “That is bollocks and you know it. Are you seriously going to pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about?” Something inside you snaps a little. “Well what would you do if you were me?” “If I were you,” India says, infuriatingly patient, “I’d be more honest with my best friend about how I felt.” Your chopsticks fall to the glass tabletop with a clatter. “I’m not trying to be bashful or like, clutch my pearls at what you’re saying, India… I want to be excited about him. But think about how we got here.” You sigh and lean your forehead in your hands. You’ve suddenly lost your appetite, so you go on. “I just… I feel like any chance that Harry and I had to be something after New Years… It’s gone now because of this horrible, ugly, humiliating situation and there’s nothing either of us can do about it now and it can’t go back to the way it was and it can’t go forward and like, I can tell he feels bad and awkward about it, too—it’s obviously on his mind, you know?” Your best friend is quiet for a long time until you look back up at her. “Okay first of all, I’m not going to tell you that your feelings are invalid because they’re not, but surely you know that none of this is your fault, right? You’re not purposefully like, flinging yourself at Harry’s feet because he’s your ominous Mr. Darcy and makes five hundred a year.” “Okay, ease up on the Jane Austen references, please.” India points her chopsticks like a weapon. “Never. But you hear me, don’t you? You shouldn’t be embarrassed about a situation that’s literally out of your control. You don’t have to put up this wall—” she gestures at you through the screen, like you’re really at a table in your favourite restaurant and not staring at poor reproductions of each other’s faces— “Maybe it is a little bit awkward, but you shouldn’t pretend that you weren’t interested in him—or that he wasn’t interested in you. It takes two people to kiss in a lift, you know.” “I love how you’re trying to make it sound as if I was not one of those people.” India just waves away your sarcasm. “That was five days ago. You’ve fancied each other for a year. Those kinds of things can’t just disappear overnight. And I’m not saying you should, like, try to put the moves on him while you’re staying together,” she says, then pauses to tilt her head. “Although… ” “Indy.” “Alright, fine. All I’m saying is you can’t just act like it never happened.” Silence settles over the call as you circle the rim of your beer with your finger. You both know she’s right. “Well,” India says at last. “I don’t know about you but I’m getting stuffed. I’ve got a case brief to procrastinate, a couple Great British Bake Off reruns saved on the telly, and a very grumpy cat to spoil with treats.” “Oh my god,” you moan. “You’re going to make Chowder fat.” “I absolutely am.” Monday, 7th January 2019. 5:37 PM ………………………………………… When you emerge from working on the floor of Sylvia’s room with an ache in your lower back, Harry is bobbing his head along to music with a dishrag over his shoulder, dressed down in sweatpants and a worn t-shirt. He shoots you a quick smile before turning the music back up. “You know this one?” He nods to the stereo. “Of course.” Harry whistles, drawing it out. “You’re good.” “No,” you admit. “I think I’m just getting lucky. Bad Moon Rising is about all I know by these guys.” “How was your lecture?” Harry nudges the fish one more time in the skillet before busying himself with a few fresh vegetables. “It was good. I’m lucky the prof’s been recording them since the beginning of term so it wasn’t hard to ask to do class from home.” You rinse your fingertips under the faucet before finding a spot by his side. Placing your hands on top of each of his, you take over the knife, tomato, and cabbage. “Am I chopping these?” “Uh—yeah that’s great. Thanks.” “How was yours?” “Same as always—” “Did you get those today?” You don’t mean to cut him off. Harry follows your gaze to the vase of white tulips by the sink. The freshly cut stems are still dripping onto the unfurled wrap of newspaper. “Yeah, I mean.” He shrugs, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Had a few extra quid on me at the shops… Do you like them?” “Yeah they’re nice…” you trail off, pausing in your chopping to peer over your shoulder at the living room. The Legos have disappeared into a basket and there is no Christmas tree in sight. You hadn’t heard a sound all afternoon. “You’ve been busy.” Harry laughs once, noncommittally; now that you’re standing closer, you can tell he shaved, as well. “I figure if there’s nobody around to make a mess for a little while, I may as well spruce the place up a bit.” The sound of your knife ceases again as you’re struck with a sudden pang of guilt. Harry looks over at you in a double-take from the stove. “No, it’s nice!” he rushes. “I can’t remember the last time I had the flat to myself for so long. I hardly know what to do with all the free time.” “You don’t really have it to yourself, though, do you?” It comes out a bit under your breath. “I’m happy to have you. And it’s not like Sylvia’s locked up in a dungeon somewhere—” you laugh abruptly and he points the spatula at you— “Don’t tell Annie I said that. I didn’t mean it.” “Of course not.” “Point is,” he continues, smiling gently, “She’s a ten-minute walk away—seven minutes if you’re sober and it isn’t pouring rain.” You bite back a smile in spite of yourself, your heart stuttering. Is he talking about New Year’s? “I’m stopping by tomorrow. Please don’t feel bad. It’s actually kind of relaxing.” You offer no reply so the two of you continue cooking to the tune of a new song. “Food’s about ready.” He plates the tortillas and blackened mahi for both of you before pouring over the chipotle sauce and vegetables. “What do you fancy to drink?” “I’m all set.” You raise your water glass, resting a hand on the back of one of the dining chairs still left in the kitchen. “Are we eating in here again?” “I think that’s best, yeah. It’s probably fine to pull some of the blinds down tomorrow.” Harry hands you your plate before cracking open a bottle of Stella. “You like guacamole?” He takes a swig, peering into the fridge. “What kind of a question is that?” you shoot back. Harry laughs once, covering his mouth with his wrist, then pops the lid off the plastic tub with his thumb and walks over to tap some guac onto your plate and his. “Oh—don’t wait for me…” he scolds. “You and your manners.” “I don’t mind. You made dinner.” “We made dinner.” “I sliced a tomato.” Harry takes a seat across from you and your knees almost bump. “Are you finally going to let me take the dishes tonight?” Harry simply raises his Stella and clinks it with your glass. You turn your attention back to the food and moan into the first bite of your taco. He lifts an eyebrow. “It’s okay?” “Better than.” Your mouth is full so you cover it with your fingertips before getting lost in conversation while Fleetwood Mac and Elton John play faintly in the background. As you sit across from each other, some part of you wonders if he gets lonely in the weeks he doesn’t have Sylvia. Before you know it, your plate is clean. You stand, set your dishes in the sink, and reach behind you without looking. You nudge Harry’s shoulder as you run the water and the ceramic of his plate touches your fingertips a moment later. “Thank you.” His voice comes softly from behind you. “Of course.” Harry doesn’t let the first plate linger on the countertop before he grabs a dish towel and begins to dry. The task passes in surprisingly comfortable silence, nearly complete when Harry reaches for the kettle. “Would you like some tea?” “Are you having some?” “What kind of a question is that?” Harry mimics. You roll your eyes with a laugh. “Yes, I would like some.” He switches the stereo off, filling the kettle before returning it to the stovetop. “You still want to sleep in Sylvia’s room?” Harry’s voice is soft again. You pause, fiddling with the damp sponge, and allow too much time to lapse before answering. “What do you think?” “Where do I think you should sleep?” Harry retrieves two mugs from the cabinet, “Or where do I think you want to sleep?” “The first.” There’s nothing left to dry so you set about wiping down the countertop and he raises no objection. “I think it’s completely up to you.” Harry opens his mouth again, but closes it and waits for you to respond. “I’ll take the nursery.” You’re glad to have something to look at instead of him. “Alright,” Harry replies evenly. You’d been testing the waters to see if he’d call your bluff and you would be lying if you said you weren’t a little disappointed. The kettle begins to steam before you speak again. You swallow dryly. “You didn’t really answer the question.” “Sorry?” “Where… where do you want me to sleep?” you push. Harry looks away from you to pour two even mugs in concentration. “Well, you want to take the nursery.” Harry adds your dash of cream. Fleetingly, you think that’s all you’re going to get out of him. “What I want—” Your heart jumps. “Where I want you to sleep doesn’t matter.” You remember your desire from Saturday at the police station, to reclaim your time. On top of that desire, you want time better spent. It’s staring you in the face right now, daring you to lean in. Be brave. “What if I wanted you to tell me anyway?” Harry leans a hand against the edge of the counter and sets the kettle back down on the stovetop, his eyes landing somewhere vaguely in the space between you. “I think… I might want you to sleep in the same place you did… y’know, the first night. So that’s… Yeah. That’s how I feel… about that.” You take care to refold the dishrag and smooth it over before hanging it back around the neck of the faucet. “Let’s do that then.” You take a minute at the sink with nothing else to busy your hands before turning your head to Harry, unable to look him square in the eyes. He walks slowly toward you, although you know it’s because he’s trying not to spill your tea. You can smell the lingering detergent on his shirt. He looms there to set your mug on the counter beside you, then turns to make his way wordlessly down the hall. You down your entire mug of tea in the kitchen alone as Harry takes the first turn in the bathroom before he slips into his room. You’re quick to follow suit, the minty tang of Harry’s toothpaste washing away the lingering taste of tacos and tea. The suitcase of your things in Sylvia’s room awaits you, and you slip into a tee shirt and some cotton shorts. The lights are out in Harry’s bedroom when you creep in, shutting the door softly behind you. For the second time, you tuck yourself in as far away from him as possible on the other side of the mattress. It’s still close enough to smell his shampoo. You close your eyes, but this isn’t the way you were expecting to feel. When sleep doesn’t come for twenty minutes you sigh, flipping onto your back. A beat passes. Harry shifts beside you. “Can’t sleep?” You just shake your head. “Wanna talk about it?” he asks gently. You almost say, no. “I think I’m more angry than I realized.” The words tumble out. Somehow you find it easier to confess to the ceiling instead of facing him. “I’m mad that I couldn’t have that first dinner out with India. I’m mad I couldn’t just go to the library to do my coursework. I’m still kinda mad about my sweater. I’m mad that he ruined—” You almost don’t catch yourself. Harry waits a long time before he asks, “Ruined what?” like he’s wary of your answer. You let out a long breath, suddenly exhausted. Part of you misses your days with Harry on the lift, when you always had the agency to decide what you wanted to share with him, and when, on your own terms. There doesn’t seem to be a side of you he hasn’t seen in the last year, the last week, or even the last few days. “The first time we saw each other since New Year’s,” you finish. You’ve turned unwittingly to look at him. Harry’s lips press together like he’s trying not to smile. “Well,” he begins slowly, “S’ not like we were never going to see each other again.” His head bobs as if to say, case in point, and you laugh a little in spite of yourself, tucking the duvet closer to your chin. “I’m looking at you right now,” Harry says. “And there’s no one around to ruin this.” You can’t quite name the expression in his eyes, but you feel the composure of your own face give way. His gaze locks you in place, but there’s a strange urge to flee inside you. “True,” you manage, practically a whisper. “Though you may get sick of me, Harry.” His chest moves with a laugh, so soft it’s nearly soundless. “Don’t think so, love.” You wish your eyelids weren’t so heavy. You want to live in this moment as long as you can. Wednesday, 9th January 2019. 9:31 PM ………………………………………… “Whatcha watchin’?” Harry is toeing out of his boots by the door. You’d been so engrossed in your film that you hadn’t even heard him come in. He had left you to your own devices for most of the evening, claiming someone very small was going to be very cross if he didn’t pop over to Annie and AJ’s for a recap of show-and-tell day at school. Now several hours later, Harry rubs his palms together to warm his hands as you smile in welcome. “Les Choristes,”you reply, reaching for the coffee table to hit pause on your laptop. “The Chorus.For my French class.” “Very nice.” “Kettle’s hot, if you want some tea.” Harry’s eyes light up. “You’re a saint, ‘s freezing out.” He pours himself a cup before moseying over and finding a spot on the armrest of the couch beside you. You play the movie again and lay still as Harry watches over your shoulder, blowing at the steam. “Did you take French in school?” you venture. “Oui.” “Do you understand any of this?” "No… je suis allé au cinéma avec mes copains et ma famille is about all I can remember.” “Your accent is still good,” you observe. Harry’s chuckle echoes in his mug. Neither of you say anything for a scene or two. “I’ve got a few emails to send for the gallery. Mind if I bring my laptop out and join you?” “Not at all,” you reply around a yawn. Harry hesitates before rounding the corner into the hallway. “You’re feeling alright about the blinds?” Your eyes flicker to the covered windows of his living room before meeting his eyes. “Yeah, I’m good. Thank you.” Harry nods once before disappearing. He joins you on the couch a minute later in a vintage ENJOY HEALTH • EAT YOUR HONEYshirt and sweatpants, a silver Macbook under his arm. You tuck your feet in a little so he can comfortably fit. “How was Sylvia?” Harry smiles immediately. “Hilarious, as usual. Annie and AJ say hello.” “That’s nice of them. I’m glad you were able to see her…” You worry a corner of the pillow between your fingertips. “I’m sorry again about—” “Apology jar.” “But I—” “Don’t even start with all that. This is hardly the first time she’s stayed longer at either of our places because of work trips and the like. She barely even misses me.” Harry looks over the screen of his laptop and smiles absently. “I walk through the door and she’s all, Daddy, what are you doing here so early?Like… Cheers, pumpkin, happy to see you, too.” You laugh at Harry’s squeaky impression of his daughter. “I’m sure she was.” He types quietly beside you for most of the movie as you muffle a few more yawns, sinking deeper and deeper into the couch cushions. At one point you startle awake squinting, a drop of drool in the corner of your mouth. Harry is still at the end of the couch with his computer, focusing intently on a screen of text; white light flashes on the lenses of his glasses. Your toes, clad in thick wool socks, are tucked beneath his thigh. One of his hands is heavy and warm atop your ankles. You blink a few times before dropping your head back to the pillow and refocusing on Les Choristes. Pretty soon your eyelids are heavy again. When you wake next, the flat is dark and Harry is gone. Your laptop is shut on the coffee table and the throw he’d given you on your first night slides from around your shoulders as you sit up. Your phone tells you it’s past one—using its flashlight and your working memory of the flat’s layout, you creep to the bathroom and brush your teeth, half-heartedly washing your face. The shape of Harry asleep on his side of the bed is almost familiar, now. You drop the throw in a puddle at your feet as you slide up the mattress. He’s pulled the entire duvet around him, and just when you think you may have to pick that second blanket off of the floor, he stirs. “Whas’it?” Harry barely sounds conscious. Half his face is visible in the shadows as he twists back towards you. “It’s me,” you whisper. “It’s just me.” He relinquishes his grip on the duvet so you can gently pull some over for yourself. You half expect Harry to roll over and go back to sleep. Instead, when you turn your back to him, two arms snake around your waist and drag you to the center of the bed. Harry’s nose digs into the back of your neck as he sighs an exhale over the top of your spine. His arms are locked so tightly around you that you have no choice but to lean back into the curve of his chest. You blink at the opposite wall. This is happening. His hand slips beneath the hem of your tee shirt, landing warm on your stomach as his thumb strokes once, twice over the hollow between your ribs. He’s asleep. You can tell. You, on the other hand, lay awake for a long time. Thursday, 10th January 2019. 9:48 PM ………………………………………… You wake up to the sound of the front door shutting, a thirty-page case brief slipping off your chest. A red pen lays sweaty in your hand and as you reach to unstick the hair from your cheek, you almost stab yourself in the eye with it. “You’ve got to stop falling asleep on tha’ couch,' Harry chuckles at you with a bottle of red wine in hand, having a bit more difficulty than usual stepping out of his shoes. His suit is charcoal black and entirely covered in sparkles. “You’re dressed up,” you notice. “That work thing I texted you about ran late… Had t’ help clean up.” “Did you now?” Harry nods, a bit delayed. “There’s baked mac in the oven if you’re—” Harry cuts you off with a near obscene groan. “Fucking incredible.” He’s trying not to look at you and trying not to smile all at once. You raise your eyebrows at him as he stumbles to the kitchen. The wine bottle lands with a heavy clank against the counter as he bends down to the oven, rubbing his hands together eagerly. You laugh at him under your breath and turn your attention back to your case brief. “How’s the coursework?” he calls to you from the kitchen around a mouthful. You finish skimming the paragraph you were on before responding, but do not look up. “Uh… good. Work?” “It was good, yeah.” You turn the page before hearing his voice again. “Saw a woman across from me in the tube today wearin’ a birthday crown with glitter… Gonna be Sylvia’s birthday soon—and mine. We’re Aquariuses. Aquari? Wha’s the plural of Aquarius?” You can hear Harry shovel in another bite. “Do you believe in astrology?” “I don’t… know,” you laugh, looking up with a finger on the text to keep your place. “A lot of my friends are into it.” He’s eating with a long wooden spoon, poking his tongue out to chase after a breadcrumb on the side of his mouth. His eyes are glassy. You snort a laugh and give in, tossing your case brief and pen on the coffee table. You hop onto the counter as Harry leans across from you, holding the glass container of baked mac you left for him aloft. He sighs, closing his eyes and swallowing before he speaks again. “I can’t stand when the gallery does big, posh events.” “Why not?” You quirk an eyebrow at him, crossing your legs. “‘Cause I hate gettin’ a sitter and I hate getting home late and I’m shit at kissin’ arse and I can’t start conversations.” You laugh and walk over to fill Harry a glass of water, handing it to him with a napkin before returning to your seat. “Sorry,” he mumbles, “M’ I being embarrassing?” “No,” you laugh, eyeing the bottle he’d brought home. “I see you’re really sticking to your New Year’s resolution, though.” “Yeah… There was loads extra. Dunno if you’re a wine drinker,” he says around another bite, narrowing his eyes at you accusingly. “Red or white?” “Red.” “No shit. S’ Côtes du Rhône,” He nods to the bottle. “Usually above my pay grade. Fancy a glass?” He’s setting the dish down and dusting off his hands before you get a chance to respond. You watch him gulp down about half his glass of water and wipe his face clean with the napkin. The contents of the utensil drawer noisily bang around Harry’s hand before he fishes out a corkscrew. You bite your lip against a smile as he rips off the capsule with his teeth and then struggles with the bottle opener. There’s a rubbery pop, and then a familiar glugging sound as he fills two stemless wine glasses. Harry smirks at you before handing one over. “I’m sure this is extra credit in your French class or something.” “I don’t quite think it works like that, but thank you.” “Cheers.” “Cheers.” The two of you do not break eye contact as you take your first sips. It’s stronger than you’d been expecting. You don’t know the first thing about French wine, but you can tell from the packaging of the bottle it’s expensive. “When is your birthday?” you ask after an abbreviated pause. “Mine’s the first of February. Sylvia’s is the fourth.” “Do you celebrate them together?” “I mean there’s not been a terribly long track record for it, love, but we have the last few years, yeah… Hope she still wants to do that when she’s older. She’s growing like a fuckin’ weed. I know it’s what everyone says is gonna happen but s’true.” “What does she want this year?” “A bloody dog, what else.” You laugh as he takes another sip of wine. “Me n’ Annie have been trying to negotiate around that one.” “I imagine that’s what I wanted, too, when I was her age.” “Yeah… sorry, we don’t have to talk about her.” You frown at him in concern. “Why wouldn’t I want to talk about her?” “Cause you always start to apologize about stayin’ here for no reason.” “That’s not true—I just, y’know…” You take a long sip of wine. “I see how much she loves you and it makes me feel guilty.” “She asked about you, you know.” Harry smiles at you over the rim of his glass. “Asked if Daddy’s friend was havin’ a nice time in her room… She also wanted to make sure I was keeping an eye on her stars since she’s convinced you’re gonna nick ‘em.” “Well,” you say slowly, holding back a laugh. “You can report to Sylvia that her stars are safe and sound.” You almost drop your gaze from Harry’s but hang on at the last moment. “And that I’m having a nice time, all things considered.” “You mean that?” “I do.” Harry tilts his head back to finish off his glass. You hold yours out to him wordlessly, already starting to feel a bit warm. He grabs the bottle and tops you both off. “Here’s to havin’ a nice time, all things considered…” Harry raises his glass. “And to sort-of friends,” you add before both of you drink. He grins up at you again with wine-red lips before lengthening the toast. “Here’s to comin’ home drunk to baked mac and cheese.” “Here’s to graduating from your god awful air mattress.” Harry tosses his head back and laughs. “Here’s to Charles thinking he’s caught us.” Harry shakes his head, smiling at the kitchen floor. “Christ, he’s such a gossip.” “Maybe that should just stay between us,” you chuckle. “I’ve heard that before.” You’re struck by déjà vu. It had only been a handful of nights ago that the two of you had danced around a goodnight. When he speaks again, you can’t decide if he’s annoyed or amused. “Why’d you say it? In the lift on New Year’s… d’you regret it?” “No,” you hiccup, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “I wasn’t sure you wanted to.” “I wanna kiss you most of the time.” Harry frowns, pausing to shake his head. “Shouldn’t ‘ave said that—” “Does that include now?” “What?” His eyes snap back to yours. The words had fallen out of your mouth like you’d dropped them by accident; the shock written on Harry’s face probably rivals yours as you slowly set down your glass and uncross your legs. “Do you want to kiss me right now?” He blinks, almost in slow motion. “Yes.” Your feet hit the kitchen floor. You’re taking two wobbly steps forward before you can think, but Harry has already pushed off the counter to meet you halfway. His hands find either side of your face and he kisses you the complete opposite to how he had on New Year’s—so hard, and so sure that you’re pushed back the distance you’d crossed to get to him. His body presses your lower back up against the countertop where you’d just been sitting. Is this happening? This is happening. Harry tastes like Côtes du Rhône but you swear the kiss is making you more drunk. You tilt your head the other way; his mouth opens to let you in a bit more. You nip at his lower lip; his tongue brushes against yours once, then again, a rhythm and urgency that quickly starts to feel frenzied. You’re so carried away that your teeth clack together by accident. Your fingers curl into his hair; it’s softer than you had imagined. Without breaking your kiss, Harry wraps his hands around your waist and squeezes before lifting you back up on the countertop, having little discretion for being gentle about it. You arch into him and his hands are on the backs of your knees, pulling you into his chest. You’d slide off the edge if not for the way his body pins you in place. He cradles the back of your head so you don’t bang it against the wooden cabinet. You lock your legs at the ankles behind Harry’s back, wrapping your fingers around his wrist to slip his hand underneath the fabric of your shirt. You’re not wearing a bra. He’s touching high enough on your ribs for him to know that. But all Harry does is try to pull you closer to him by pressing his palm into your back and it’s a little bit frustrating. “We need t’stop,” Harry pants, breaking away. “Or I dunno if I’m gonna be able.” You’re also chasing your breath rather raggedly, but you nod in agreement. “You’re right. It’s getting late. And we’ve been drinking.” Harry strokes the side of your face with his thumb and you almost lean in to kiss him again. You have to shake your head and focus. “We should be getting to bed.” “Yeah.” Harry drops his warm hands to your knees. “Are you gonna sleep in my bed?” “I mean… I don’t have to—” “No, I’d like you to—s’just… We have to be good.” Harry flexes his jaw and swallows roughly. You’re not sure if the reminder is for you or him. He leans his forehead against yours the way he had after your first kiss on New Years. “Okay?” “Of course,” you breathe. Harry makes a faint sound in the back of his throat and tilts his head to brush his lips along your cheekbone before ghosting across your ear. Your eyes close as the tip of his nose grazes your jaw, the warmth of his breath making the small hairs on your skin stand up. He presses a soft, open-mouthed kiss into the slope of your neck, and then another, and then another. “I need a cold shower,” he sighs against your collar. Your abrupt, wine-induced giggle quickly slips out of your control. “What?” Harry bursts, exaggerated through his own laughter. “I’m trying to be good, didn’t you jus’ hear me?” You still can’t stop. “I’m leavin’ you here.” He throws his hands up in the air, shaking his head with a barely contained smile as he stalks off to his bedroom. Just before the door shuts behind him, you hear Harry’s voice again from the end of the hallway. “Aren’t you coming?” Friday, 11th January 2019. 7:21 PM ………………………………………… Of course your phone always rings when it’s forgotten in the next room and you’d just gotten comfortable. You spring up from Harry’s couch and manage to answer just before the call probably would’ve gone to voicemail. “Hello?” “Hi, this is Officer Warren calling from the Metropolitan Police at Lavender Hill Station.” The blood drains from your face as your scarf and handbag both slide from your grip with an audible thump against the hardwood. Harry is setting down the boxes, but his head jerks up at the sound. “Are you still there?” “Yes,” you blurt. “Yes, I’m here. Is there… Is there news?” Harry hesitates. You see the thought cross his mind to give you privacy the way he always does when you take personal phone calls, but you reach for his wrist before he gets the chance to step away. “Yes, I have an update. It’s good news.” You’re still clutching the phone to your ear in a death grip, and you can hardly process anything after the words, we found him. Harry’s eyes are frantically searching your face. “It was actually a stroke of maybe unfortunate luck. He’s been arrested for a robbery that turned into a homicide...the poor store clerk was killed. He and his partner are going to be in jail for a long time.” You slide down to the floor, realizing belatedly that you’ve effectively dragged Harry down too. “I...that’s...oh my god.” “We’d like to also book him on the stalking and assault charges, which would lengthen his sentence further. Would you be able to come down to the station tomorrow to identify him?” You nod before remembering Officer Warren can’t see you. “Yes. Yes, of course.” “You can take a breath now, sweetheart. It’s over.” It’s over. “Thank you so much.” You can barely speak. Before hanging up, you confirm a time for tomorrow morning and your cheeks are wet when you cup your hands to your mouth. “What’s happened?” Harry asks, sounding alarmed. “They caught him,” you choke out. Harry’s eyes light up, but the beginnings of a smile fade quickly. “What is it?” “I…” Your hands shake. Harry folds them in his. The shapes of his rings are grounding, somehow. “He was arrested for a robbery and he– they killed a man. And I just…what would’ve happened if he hadn’t done that?” “They would’ve found him,” he insists. “It’s okay, love.” He brushes the hair back from your face, cradling your cheek. “It’s okay to be happy it’s over.” You should be celebrating but you’re crying instead, a strange mixture of guilt and relief. Harry tugs you closer until the tears run dry. “Everything’s alright. You don’t have to hide anymore.” “I need to call my parents.” You pull back to dab at your eyes with your sleeve. “God, I honestly can’t believe it.” “Go on then.” Harry brushes past you to the front door, shrugging into his winter coat. “I’m gonna nip down to the off-license. This calls for more alcohol than we have, which is currently none. And I’m gonna ring Annie… I’ll be like ten minutes, yeah?” You just nod, a little too overcome to move; you’re still standing there as he disappears out the door. After gathering your bearings, you curl up into a ball on Harry’s couch and your mom picks up after the first ring. Your entire family is crying as you share the news, and you eventually have to get up and pace the living room with a hand laying flat on the top of your head. You’re still on the phone walking laps around Harry’s apartment, but turn when you hear the jingle of keys. Harry appears with a tall, brown paper bag under his arm, shaking dappled droplets of rain from his hair, and wiping his glasses on the sleeve of his jacket. The lucid green of his irises contrasts with the rosy color in his cheeks and nose as he smiles gently at you. Your feet have stopped moving. Harry watches you closely from where he stands; he’s also stopped scuffing his feet on the welcome mat. “Um… love you guys.” It comes out softer than you had intended. “I—I actually have to call you back.” One of your siblings is saying something on the other line, but you’ve already ended the call as the final warble of someone’s goodbye is drowned in the silence of Harry’s apartment. He is utterly still, reading you. You pivot in place, your feet carrying you to him before you give yourself the chance to reconsider. It’s almost as if your revelation had sparked something in Harry because suddenly he’s moving toward you, too. The leather chair stands in your path but you narrowly dodge it; Harry finds the nearest flat surface to stand the bottle of wine. You’re practically scrambling toward each other, and meet halfway in the living room. He wraps his arms around you completely and you’re on your toes with fistfuls of his collar, but your mouths meet first, almost in a crash. Harry kisses you like you’re running out of time—like it’s the last important thing he’ll ever do. The irony is that this is the first moment that the two of you, in fact, have all the time in the world. You don’t think it’s physically possible to get close enough to him. His face is still chilled from the rain, but his lips are warm against yours. The contrast makes you tingle and you realize that this is the first completely sober kiss you’ve shared. He gently tugs your lip in his teeth; your nose nudges his glasses. He curses into your mouth and in the next breath, Harry reaches up between you and yanks the frames from his face. He tosses them in the general direction of the coffee table, where they clatter and fall to the floor and you laugh before you can help it. Harry takes the reprieve to slide both hands down to your hips. His thumbs dig into the soft part of your waist as he walks you backward to pin you against the wall, ducking his head down. You lean back to catch your breath, but Harry is undeterred. Your pulse jumps as he works his way down your jaw to nip at your neck in a trail. It’s exhilarating to feel him really kiss you somewhere that isn’t your lips. You tilt your chin up to encourage him, but you’re surprised when Harry presses his mouth into the skin above your breast, over your racing heart– just once, like he’s introducing himself. Before you can help it, you’re carried away by the thought of his tongue and teeth grazing that same spot. “Let me make you dinner,” he says into your collarbone. “Please.” “You’re seriously thinking about dinner?” Under normal circumstances, you’d be embarrassed at how breathy you sound, but it’s a miracle you can even string a sentence together. Harry’s laugh raises goosebumps over your skin. “Seems like the safest thing to be thinkin’ about right now, love.” “We don’t have any food,” you point out. “Takeaway, then.” Harry gives you a quick peck, his smile lifting up higher on one side. “Curry, pizza… Whatever you want.” You simply stand there for a minute, stroking his back over the jacket he still hasn’t taken off. It feels so liberating to want anything and everything again. Friday, 11th January 2019. 8:30 PM ………………………………………… You lean back in your chair to rest your knee on Harry’s tiny wicker dining table, taking only your flute of champagne with you. He’s resting his elbows on the edge as he crumples a paper napkin and smiles at you, fishing something from his teeth with his tongue. “I’m stuffed,” you sigh. “So am I… Good recommendation. Don’t think I’ve had this place before.” “Yeah, it’s one of my top ten in London. The grapes don’t hurt either.” You swirl your drink in the air before taking a sip. “Would you like some more?” he asks, already reaching for the bottle. “Please… Thank you for getting dinner, Harry.” He frowns as he tops you off. “Of course. We’re celebrating.” A drop escapes over the neck of the bottle as he’s pulling back, and he catches it with his thumb before sucking the tip of his finger. His jawline and the sound of his thumb parting with his lips is a little too enticing; you sit up and start stacking empty takeout boxes to distract yourself, and Harry holds the mouth of the plastic takeout bag open for you to drop the waste in. You scoot the dining chairs in and follow Harry to the kitchen to wet a dish rag as he tosses the garbage in the bin. Van Morrison’s Brand New Day is playing softly from the stereo and you cannot fight your smile when you hear Harry turn the volume up as you wipe down the table. After hanging the rag back around the faucet with care, you spot Harry on the couch in the living room, leaning his elbow on the armrest, watching you with a cheek in his hand. “Tea?” you call over your shoulder. “M’ alright for now, love. Thanks.” You take your flute to join him with a cushion of distance between you, and place the bottle of champagne on the coffee table. He shifts to face you at the other end of the couch and it’s quiet as the two of you listen to the final minutes of the song play out. You know you’re going to have to go pick up Chowder and head back upstairs to your apartment at some point but this is so effortless, and light. It’s like you’ve been doing this with him forever. “Thank you so much, Harry. For everything you did for me this week… All of this.” You shake your head slowly, staring forward but at nothing in particular. “I’m indebted to you.” “S’ always strange to hear you say that,” he muses. “Strange how?” “Cause you’re making it sound as though… spending time with you is, like—” Harry laughs once, less than amused. He’s shaking his head now, too. “Nevermind.” He takes a drink from his glass. Your heart flutters a little. Ever so slowly, you graze your knuckles against Harry’s on the flat surface of the backrest. He doesn’t turn to look at you but he straightens his arm and twists his wrist a little to take your hand in his. “Harry?” “Hm?” “What would you have done after New Year’s if none of this had happened?” He’s quiet long enough for you to assume he isn’t going to answer your question at all. “I’ve been thinking about that a lot.” His voice is sober and taut. “And?” you prompt. Harry breaks from his trance to look at you earnestly. “M’not sure.” “Do you think anything would have changed?” “Like, do I think we would’ve gone back to just seeing each other in the lift every morning?” You nod. “After what happened that night, it just sorta meant that I couldn’t drag my feet anymore.” In the soft glow of the kitchen light, you can see that Harry’s cheeks are tainted in a slight blush. But then again, yours are warm, too. “Drag your feet about what?” He rolls his eyes, just a little. “You know what I mean.” “Please say it.” Harry looks at you for a long while before raising his drink to his lips, hesitating, and then resting the glass back in his lap. “I knew I couldn’t drag my feet anymore about asking you out.” He pushes his glasses up his nose, looking to the floor. You could compare the feeling in your chest to a firework show. “Were you planning to before that?” Harry huffs a laugh. “I can recall several instances alone in the lift with you, where I came very close to just saying outright, ‘could I take you to dinner sometime?’” “What stopped you?” you rush. Harry’s eyebrows knit in a perplexed frown. “We were like… on the way to work most of the time. Or, I guess, lectures or whatever for you. We’d barely exchanged two words—I didn’t even know your name… ” Another small laugh. “And you wanna know something really bad? I haven’t really dated since Sylvia was born. Came close once. But it got complicated and I couldn’t always find a sitter.” “Oh.” Although it makes sense—being a young, single parent certainly fills a schedule—for some reason that throws you for a loop. Harry starts playing with the tips of your fingers before speaking up again. “It’s a lot, you know? All this.” Harry nods vaguely at all the evidence of family in his apartment. “I’m kind of a package deal from the get go and I didn’t want to overwhelm you with all that. Even Annie and AJ are just…” He exhales sharply. “Love ‘em to bits, but they can be a bit much. And Sylvia means everything to me. S’not like I can hide her. Nor would I try to. That’s a lot from some guy you ride the lift with.” You’re lost for words, but it’s not because you don’t know how to feel. The constant racing of your heart is real. The sweat on your palms as Harry holds your hand right now is real. The warm, relentless tugging sensation in your chest that you get whenever you’re around each other is very, very real. Harry starts to stroke the back of your hand with his thumb before carrying on. “I’ve enjoyed having you ‘round this week, like… an irresponsible amount.” Harry licks his lips, still not meeting your eyes. “But I’d never want that to take away from your feeling safe.” He speaks slowly like his words are ellipses dripping from a sink. Working up the nerve to say what you need to is making you dizzy. But you force it out anyway. “Harry, I want to spend time with you, because I like to. I do feel safe with you. I know that’s been your first priority this whole time. But honestly? I’d be lying if I said I haven’t been hoping you’d ask me out, like–” and you smile tentatively– “An irresponsible number of times.” Harry leans over to take your champagne glass and sets it with his on the coffee table, sliding closer. “Will you?” he asks, so quietly hopeful that it makes you breath catch. “Go out with me?” This ridiculous urge to giggle bubbles up in your throat. “Yes. I’d love to.” Harry’s mouth is only on yours for a few seconds before he pulls away and the two of you get a chance to really look at each other. “We don’t have to rush into anything,” he says. “If you don’t want to. We can finally take our time.” We. Usually it’s easy for you to distinguish your emotional connection with Harry from your physical desire for him; up until now, you’ve compartmentalized the two. But for the first time, you feel the bond and the craving knotting together. “Yeah,” you agree. “I want us to do this right.” Us. You lean forward and press your lips against his again before you can help it, easing his mouth open in the cadence of the kiss. Harry’s lips are shiny and hang partly open when you pull away, like he wasn’t quite finished yet. “I feel like we’ve been doing this whole thing out of order,” you say, already sinking back to lay across the couch. You watch the wheels turn in his head as he figures out what you’re doing before he starts to follow. He reaches behind him to grab a pillow and tuck it behind your head before shifting to lay over you. “If that’s true… ” Harry spreads your legs to situate himself between them. His breathing is shallow. “Then what comes next?” “I don’t know. Tell me what you want.” “Well seeing as we’ve already fucked up the order,” he plants a soft, chaste kiss on your cheek, “we may as well continue our streak.” You place your hands on the sides of Harry’s face immediately and bring your mouths together. The rim of his glasses bumps against the bridge of your nose again but you don’t mind. After a minute, you feel his hand slip beneath your shirt. “Can I touch you?” You’re too breathless to speak so you nod and lay your hand on top of his, dragging the hem up to your chin. His thumb tucks against your collarbone to hold your shirt in place, tracing back and forth. You shudder even before Harry sinks down to lick, and kiss all across your chest. You arch your back and lift your arms above your head and he takes the hint, tugging your shirt all the way off and throwing it behind him without looking. Harry’s hands explore your body up and down, squeezing your backside, your thighs, the curve of your hips—as if to say, I like this bit, and this bit, and this bit. He adorns your nipples with kisses, encircling them with his tongue. The barest pressure of teeth makes you feel very serious, very quickly. You can feel how much he wants you, too, now that you’re pressed up against each other like this. Harry rubs his groin between your thighs once, slowly, like he’s trying to be a gentleman. But then he does it again. And again. With a soft groan, he caves and starts to pick up a steady rhythm, rocking his hips on yours until he’s hard enough for the pressure of it to ache slightly where you’re already sensitive. His tongue dances with yours in a way that draws something so carnal out of you that your hands are undoing the buckle of his belt before you realize what you’re doing. Harry inhales sharply and breaks the kiss. “Bed,” he says, clipped. Harry rolls off of you to stand, and you begin to swing your legs from off of the couch, but you’re scooped up into his arms before your feet even grace the floor. He carries you straight to the bedroom and you gasp as he hoists you once in the hallway to get a better grip, then sits you at the end of his bed with your knees hanging over the edge. You begin to lay back and Harry puts both hands on your shoulders to gently encourage that. He busies himself with the zipper of your jeans and you lift your hips off the bed as he tugs them down your thighs, one by one with care. The cuffs get caught around your heels and Harry laughs faintly while jostling them to free you. He stands between your legs at the edge of the bed, looking down at you. Your knee trembles straight as Harry lifts one of your legs by the ankle, closing his eyes briefly and nipping gently at the soft inside of your knee, while stroking up and down your other thigh. He pauses with his fingers hooked in the hem of your underwear, long enough that you croak, “Harry, please.” It stirs him into motion, and the fistful of fabric hits the floor without a sound. You blink to look away for a moment and when you turn to face him again, Harry is still looking directly into your eyes. He’s stopped moving briefly, so you lift your head for a better look at him. Harry is shaking his head softly as he sighs to himself. “You’re gorgeous.” he says simply. His eyes are even; it’s one of the most steadfast statements you’ve ever heard him utter. “Like, so much I can’t believe it sometimes.” You sit up slowly on your elbows, your head suddenly spinning; you haven’t forgotten that he’s staring down at you stark naked with your ankles on either side of his face. You open your mouth to thank him; you can’t. “I… ” “You comfortable?” Harry nods once at you. Tongue-tied still, you simply bob your head a few times in confirmation. “Good because you’re gonna stay like that for awhile.” You try to swallow but your throat has gone dry. With his belt buckle still undone and clinking, Harry runs his fingertips up the backs of your legs, sinking to his knees until all you can see is the green of his eyes peering up at you from over the horizon of your stomach. The anticipation is making this borderline intolerable; you’re starting to get uncomfortable because it’s almost too pleasant. Harry’s hands cup your backside before he finally leans in. For a while, he simply kisses you there in that similar, sort of intense way that he had been kissing you on the mouth earlier, and it’s an ongoing struggle to reel in the string of profanities on the tip of your tongue. You’re sensitive to every tilt of his head, flick of his tongue, and scratch of his stubble. Harry has many physical attributes that you’ve privately admired, but you never fully appreciated the tip of his nose until it rubbed over and over your clit while his tongue dips in and out of you. The feeling of his exhale between your thighs sends shivers down your spine; it’s as if he doesn’t want to come up for a proper breath, even though he’s kept at it for quite some time. You make the mistake of looking down and his eyes are closed, shadows dancing across his jaw and the hollow of his cheek as his head moves devotedly between your legs. His lips are puckered pink and shiny around your clit, sucking on you in gentle pulses; right when it gets to be a bit much, he eases off and licks you in thick stripes with the flat of his tongue. Harry peers up at you for a moment—his eyes are curious, vigilant, yet somehow unfazed behind the frames of his glasses. He squeezes the back of your thigh once with his hand as though to check on you, before leaning forward to nip just below your belly button. The blunt edge of his nail brushes your entrance. “Oh,” you breathe. “Okay?” he asks, gravely. You have to swallow before you can speak again. “Yes. Don’t stop.” One, then two of his fingers are moving inside of you. It’s now pointless to try and keep yourself from making a sound. Your body clenches around his knuckles and Harry curses against your stomach, so softly it sounds almost irreverent. “Come here,” you say, pulling him up by his shoulder. You slide back up to the pillows and he crawls up to you on the bed. The sight of Harry wiping his mouth with the back of his hand as his cheeks glisten in the light ignites something deep inside you; there will be other nights for him to coax you all the way up, but you’d felt the firm grind of his hips on the couch, and it’s all you can think about right now. He starts to tug his shirt over his head, but the collar catches on his glasses and they dangle from one of his ears. “Smooth,” you observe. “Yes thank you,” Harry chuckles, shaking his head at himself. He quickly sets the frames aside on the nightstand before pulling you in for a longer kiss. You can taste yourself inside his mouth and press harder. Harry’s face is silky and damp from his chin up to his nose. Your hand slips from cupping his jaw to traveling down his chest, and you take your time tracing your fingertips along his abdomen and the inside of his thighs before beginning to massage him through his pants; by then, Harry has stopped kissing you completely, a low groan escaping him. You start to reach for his zip, but he takes over for you, yanking the button of his jeans through the hole and hastily pulling the zipper apart; you fumble a little rising to your knees to help shimmy them off. He doesn’t say anything, but you distinctly catch Harry hesitate for a beat before tugging down his briefs, kind of dodging your eyes. You wonder if this is what he meant when he said he hasn’t done this in awhile. His length slaps heavily against his stomach, flushed in a color identical to the high points of his cheeks. You begin to leave a trail of kisses from his neck to his belly button. “Um, hey.” His voice is gentle and uncertain but it startles you from above. You stop immediately. Harry is sitting up, shaking his head softly. “C’mere, I just want you.” He helps pull you up the bed again before rolling you on your back, positioning himself between your legs. “How are you feeling?” he asks. “Good.” You nod. “Better than good.” “You sure?” “Yeah.” Harry leaves one last peck on your cheek before leaning over to his bedside table and digging around in one of the drawers, returning with a box of condoms in hand. He pulls one out and holds the small foil square at arm’s length, struggling to read the back. You have to press your lips into a tight line to keep yourself from laughing. Harry pauses, narrowing his eyes at you pretending not to smile. “Don’t laugh at me.” “I’m not laughing.” “Yes you are.” You shake your head, covering your mouth with your hands. “No I’m not.” “Just want to double check that these are in date but now I can’t see without my bloody glasses.” “Give it to me.” You hold out your hand and examine the back before slipping into more laughter. “They’re fine.” After the condom is on, you kiss him again, gently tugging his bottom lip between your teeth. “Harry, please.” Harry shifts his weight between his knees a few times and you feel the head of his penis nudge where you want him most. Your heart is racing. Harry’s parted lips are hovering above yours as he pushes his hips forward. You squeeze your eyes shut and audibly strain against a gasp at the feeling of him inside of you… You two aren’t exactly a proportionate fit. Harry finds a rhythm that works for the both of you once you’ve visibly adjusted to the initial discomfort, and picks up the pace even more once the soft noises you’re making begin to fill his bedroom. He stifles a quiet groan when you arch your back. It’s almost too easy to finish as you reach down to touch yourself after all the work Harry had put in earlier; it doesn’t feel fair. His mouth is suddenly on your neck as he bites down into the soft where your throat meets your collar, as though he wants to hold you still while he fucks you. You’re trying your hardest on your own to bare your teeth against the near frantic sounds bubbling up in your throat as you reach your high. His hand slides to the back of your knee to spread your legs a bit wider and you suddenly feel him even deeper in your hips. Almost involuntarily, your hands snake around to press into Harry’s lower back in an effort to keep him exactly where he is; he slows the rhythm a little to let you ride it out. In the low light, you see him peering down at you in curiosity. You graze your hand down the side of his face and he turns his head to kiss your palm as you come down. “Get on your back,” you breathe. Harry doesn’t need to be told twice. You straddle him before grinding down on his lap to work yourself up a little before actually sinking down around him. He sighs at the exact moment you do, and you alternate between riding him in fast bursts and slow dips. Harry’s face tends to relax when you go slow; he watches you with almost mellow eyes and his hands are limp on your waist. When you pick up the pace, his face twists, his head writhes on the pillow, and his fingernails leave marks on your skin. The ends of his hair are damp and tapered as they stick to his forehead; his cheeks are rosy. Suddenly, Harry is reaching out, his hand fumbling blindly against the nightstand; you slow to a stop. “Everything okay?” you ask, breathless. “Yeah, yeah,” he reassures you. “Keep going, please.” “What do you need?” “Just… ” Harry lays back on the pillow, unfolding his glasses to push them on his face. “I wanna be able to see you.” “Oh… okay.” You wouldn’t have thought that under these circumstances, your heart could beat even faster. You carry on with a bit more confidence. Harry’s hands stay glued to your waist and every so often, he guides the way he wants you to move, but eventually, he places his palm flat against your stomach. His thumb reaches to rub soft circles around your clit. You’re gasping for breath; your arm shoots out to grasp the headboard for balance as he thrusts upward into you from the bed, and it’s enough to inspire your second orgasm. Harry leans up, muffling your choked pleas with a kiss before he sinks back to the bed. “Getting there,” he says, winded. Exhausted, you lean in close enough to ride him with your mouth hovering just above his, and pick up the pace. Less than a minute later, Harry lifts his head off the pillow slightly and you know he’s cumming when his furrowed brow and the slight snarl on his lips relax completely, along with every other muscle in his face. He opens his mouth soundlessly for a moment and you watch the vein in his neck swell. After bucking his hips upward into you a few times, Harry lets out a quiet, guttural, prolonged, “Oh,” before dropping his head back on the pillow. Your bodies lose steam together until you’re both completely still, trying to catch your breath. You brace your hands on the headboard so you don’t fall forward on top of him, feeling suddenly boneless. “That was...” Harry pants. All you can do is nod. He wraps an arm all the way around your waist as he gently rolls you onto your back to pull out. “Gonna deal with this,” he says, rolling the condom off. You just nod, content to watch him step through the doorway with absolutely no mind for his nudity. Sweat is starting to cool on your skin and your brain is still restarting after everything you and Harry just did. He shuts the bedroom door quietly behind him upon his return, making his way over to sit on your side of the bed with a glass of water in hand. You push yourself into a proper sitting position and it’s quiet for a minute as the two of you take each other in. It’s generally easy to figure out when Harry’s about to smile; his dimples sink into his cheeks first, and for some reason that small tell always chisels at your composure until you can’t help but mirror his expression. “Can I have some of that?” you ask. He raises the glass to his lips and keeps drinking, smiling against the brim. “I’m exhausted, let me have some!” Harry relents with a chuckle, leaning it to kiss you with a droplet of water at the corner of his mouth as he passes you the drink. It ends up being a longer kiss than you’d expected; you have to pull away so as to not lose your breath, then gulp down the rest of the water. You sink back into the pillow and straighten your leg in Harry’s lap with a deep breath as he strokes your bare ankle with his thumb. “Come lay with me.” You pat the mattress beside you, placing the empty glass on the bedside table. Harry crawls up the bed, settling into your side with his head on your chest and an arm draped over your waist, the way you wake up together sometimes. He hums softly before speaking. “You smell good.” You scoff. “That cannot be true.” Harry’s breath tickles the dewy skin of your breast when he laughs. “You do… You always smell good. I’ve always liked the perfume you wear.” You gently push him off you and roll to the side, propping your head up with a bent elbow. Harry simply turns his head to look at you while laying on his back. The ghost of a smile plays on his lips and he’s got a strange, half eager, half vulnerable look in his eye—like he might crack a joke or he might tell you he’s falling in love with you. “Please stay.” You reach up to comb a few rogue curls out of his face and press your answer against his mouth.

#harry styles #harry styles rpf #harry styles fic #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #utsr redux #mine: fic #*mushu voice* I LIIIIIIIVEEEE

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choicesficwriterscreations · 3 years ago

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550 Followers: Meet The Writer

Welcome to another Meet The Writer Q&A! We reached 550 followers! Yay! We’re grateful to all of you who continue to share your work with us and support the fanfic authors of the fandom. As usual, a writer was randomly selected to share a little something of their work with us. Anyway, let’s get to the good stuff!

Blog: @monsoonblooms12

Name (or petname): Manamee

Birthday: 12th April

Nationality: Indian

Current residency: India

Languages you speak: English, Hindi, Bengali

Masterlist/AO3: Masterlist | AO3

1- Is there a meaning behind your url name?

Not really. One day I was googling Instagram usernames and this one caught my eye. I tweaked it up a bit to fit me and having using it as my username on various platforms since.

2- When did you start playing Choices? What's the first book you played?

It was actually in mid 2019 but I wasn't much of an active player. I started playing more frequently during the lockdown. The first book I read was The Royal Romance, Book 1.

3- When did you decide to join Choices fandom?

Because I was enamoured by the fics I had been reading and wanted to find more writers and creators whose works I can enjoy. I had begun reading fanfiction related to choices during one of my lowest times, when everything seemed out of my control. And the works I read got me through my tough times. So I also wanted to give back in some way and chose to make an account.

4- Go back to your archive and tell us what was your first post on your Choices blog was about.

It was my first moodboard! I made one for the TRR MC

5- How long have you been writing fanfiction?

I began in August last year. I was inspired by the amazing works all around me and thought of finally taking a dive into it.

6- Share the first fanfic you wrote with us. Do you still like it or would you change anything about it?

It was the first part of my first Open Heart Series, Detectives by Chance: Chapter 1: Notes in Scarlet. There are some parts of it that I like, while other parts not so much. But honestly, it was the beginning of a journey of constantly learning to improve myself which would have never happened if I didn't write it. So as much as I dislike some of the parts, I wouldn't want to change anything about it.

7- What are your favorite Choices books to write about?

Open Heart. And honestly, that's all I have written about since the beginning 😆

8- What is your specialty as a fanfic writer?

If I have to answer, I will go for fluff. Not speciality really, but I feel that my angst is never really angsty and fluff has become a bit of a strong point for me. So, yeah.

9- If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

Fluff, because a) My heart cannot take too much pain and b) Fluff is the only thing that I feel I can write well

10- Do you ever recognise yourself in what you write?

Yeah. I tend to put pieces of myself, my culture, my likes and dislikes, both in my MC and in my stories. And it brightens my day when people like my inclusion of those.

11- What element of writing do you struggle with most?

Writing itself. And also the self-deprecation that comes when you are writing something, always feeling that no one will ever like what you write, or that there are numerous writers better than you, and your stories will never be as good as theirs.

12- Is there any neglected work of yours you wished you would finish?

It's my series, In sunshine & In shadow. I began it as an ambitious project last year, only to give up after the 1st chapter. I have it outlines, and I definitely wish to get back to it someday.

13- If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them?

If yes, what would you recommend they read first? I might, it depends on who asks. I would ask them to read my fic, Eumoiriety first, because it is one of my favorite things that I have ever written.

14- Are there any writers (published authors and/or fanfic writers) who influenced your writing?

I have always looked up to authors like Agatha Christie when it comes to crafting mysteries, or to authors like Ruskin Bond when I want to take a lesson of how to make a fic simple yet significant. And talking about fanfic writers, there have been many who have influenced me in some way or the other. But I would like to mention about those whose works inspired me to write for the first time: @bbrandy2002, @drethanramslay and @jamespotterthefirst (Thank you, you guys❤)

15- Which one of your stories would you most like to see as a movie/series?

Detectives by chance! Mostly because it's a mystery and I would love to see the drama unravel on the silver screen.

16- Do you write original stories?

I haven't...yet. I just might do it someday, who knows?

Thanks for reading! Reblog to share your appreciation for @monsoonblooms12

#choices fic writers creations #cfwc meet the writer #meet the writer #550 followers

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lilatreus · 4 years ago

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im new to the ac fandom and i didnt know there were any books should i be reading them?? or are there certain ones that i absolutely need to read or would i be okay if i skip them?

Yeah it’s okay to skip them if you want! They’re mostly there to give some more insight on some of the characters. If you want to read them but you don’t have to money to buy the books, you can read them here. I actually have all the books already on paper copy so I would definitely recommend buying them if you really enjoy them.

There’s also some comics and graphic novels about them too which I have included in on the master list. They actually follow the modern storyline of you want to read up on that. If you want to read them just do readcomicsonline. They have them all, only watch out for ads.

Anyway here’s the master list, it’s pretty long won’t lie:

The books, in order of strictly historical events:

Assassin’s Creed Odyssey by Gordon Doherty (2018)

Basically this books gives the canonical story to assassin’s creed odyssey following Kassandra around Greece. If you had the “best” or good ending from the story then you’re probably going to be upset with the book. I actually liked it and if you were ever confused about the game then this is definitely for you to read.

Assassin’s Creed Origins: Desert Oath by Oliver Bowden (2017)

This book takes place years before Origins. It follows Bayek who a teenager at the time. We learn how Bayek and Aya start their relationship and it kind of explains some of the side missions that talk about Bayek’s past. If you love Bayek and Aya’s relationship you will love this book.

[ insert for whenever an ac valhalla book is written ]

Assassin’s Creed: The Secret Crusade by Oliver Bowden (2011)

This book is the one I’m currently rereading, so it takes place with the father of Marco Polo talking about Altaïr’s life. It talks about his—Altaïr’s—dad within the first few chapters, events that happened in the game, and then what happens after. It gives more insight on what happened between the events of ac one and the little bits of scenes we see in ac revelations of Altaïr in game. If you want to know how Maria and Altaïr got together you’ll like this book it’s very sweet and I love how smitten Altaïr was. If you love Atlmal (Altaïr and Malik) you’ll also like this book but it will crush you.

Assassin’s Creed: Renaissance by Oliver Bowden (2009)

This follows Ezio through assassin’s creed two. Literally just the book version of the game. Does talk about how Ezio and Cristina got together and a few of the memories you get to play in Brotherhood are in this book. I like it. It pretty much follows the game exactly so if you want to skip it, you can but still a really good book that I recommend reading.

Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood by Oliver Bowden (2010)

Follows the plot of the game. It’s pretty similar to it as opposed to a few differences. While I like this book, I will always say the game is better than this book entirely. Still, it’s pretty good and explains a lot of plot.

Assassin’s Creed: Revelations by Oliver Bowden (2011)

It explains why Ezio is doing what he does in the game. Why he’s there and what is reasoning is. You get a little small bit about Claudia but that’s it. Ezio does, in book, visit Leonardo on the last few days before the artist dies :( that’s pretty much it. Only some minor differences to the game. If you’re looking for something about Desmond, you won’t find it in this book.

Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag by Oliver Bowden (2013)

I’ll be honest I only read this book once so my memory is pretty poor on it but from what I can remember it’s about Edward and Caroline and how they got together. And then there’s something about Anne Boney and Edward towards the end I believe. Kind of explains his backstory from the little scenes we’re shown in the game I think? (Correct me if I’m wrong on this one but I’m certain that’s the gist of it).

Assassin’s Creed: Forsaken by Oliver Bowden (2012)

This one was the first assassin’s creed book I read. Now fair warning: if you do not like Haytham Kenway, I strongly advise you to not read this book. It is all about Haytham until the final few chapters and then Connor takes over the book once you’ve killed him in game. This book explains how he (Haytham) came to be apart of the Templars and how Edward dies. It talks about his relationship with Ziio and how he built the Templar order up during the seven years war. I’ll be honest it was okay when I first read it because I was like 11 and the only other thing I had read was like just percy jackson. Looking back on this book though, it’s not that great. I do not like Haytham at all so I, personally, would not recommend this book. I went in reading it expecting for it to be about Connor and I was very disappointed and upset that it wasn’t. So you can skip this book if you like because the only thing it does is give insight to a lot of what Haytham does.

Assassin’s Creed: Unity by Oliver Bowden (2014)

This is my favorite book. This is about Arno reading Elise’s diary after she passed. There’s little bits where Arno writes in here and there throughout the novel. It’s pretty sad I won’t lie. Explains how Elise grew up, what she did during the parts where we didn’t see her in game, and talks about how she felt during the parts where we did see her in game. Basically at the end of the book it’s Elise asking Arno to please help seek unity and stop the war between the Templars and Assassins.

Assassin’s Creed: Underworld by Oliver Bowden (2015)

This book follows Jayadeep Mir, also known to us as Henry Green. There’s two parts to this book. The first part takes place six years before the events of syndicate and you get to really learn about the twin’s father and then the second part takes place during the events of the game. It talks about Evie and Henry’s relationship during the second part and it’s pretty good!

There are no books about assassin’s creed chronicles (ac China, India, and Russia) if you’re wondering why they’re missing :(

The comics:

*most of these take place during the modern storyline I’ll try my best to explain when they come in and how it adds up to the new our modern storyline at the end

Assassin��s Creed the Fall

There’s three issues with this it’s just a graphic novel honestly. Takes place with the main character from AC Chronicles: Russia

Assassin’s Creed the Chain

Graphic Novel sequel to the Fall

Assassin’s Creed Brahman

Written by the same people who wrote The Fall and The Chain, however this focuses on Arbaaz Mir who is the main character from Assassin’s Creed Chronicles: India.

Now from what I’ve seen, correct me if I’m wrong, but the templar and assassin comics pretty much take place around the same time.

Assassin’s Creed: Trial by Fire

Assassin’s Creed issue #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Assassin’s Creed Templars: Black Cross

Assassin’s Creed Templars issue #1, #2, #3, #4, #5

Assassin’s Creed: Setting Sun

Assassin’s Creed issue #6, #7, #8, #9, #10

Assassin’s Creed Templars: Cross of War

Assassin’s Creed Templars issue issue #6, #7, #8, #9

Assassin’s Creed: Homecoming

Assassin’s Creed issue #11, #12, #13, #14

Assassin’s Creed: Uprising

Common Ground Vol 1: issue #1, #2, #3, #4

Infection Point Vol 2: issue #5, #6, #7, #8

Finale vol 3: #9, #10, #11, #12

Assassin’s Creed Reflections (pretty much a stand alone I would say, focuses entirely on past assassins but canon to the templar comics).

Reflections 1: modern story focuses on Otso Berg historical story focuses on Ezio where we learn Ezio is implied to have hooked up with the woman who in the Mona Lisa painting.

Reflections 2: same thing for modern story but now Otso is looking into Altaïr’s story. We get to see Maria, Altaïr, and their son Darim.

Reflections 3: Otso is now looking into Edward Kenway.

Reflections 4: Otso looks into Connor and we see him with his daughter. It’s super cute this issue is my favorite.

Last Descendants

The Last Descendants (Novel)

Locus: issues 1 - 4

The Last Descendants: Tomb of the Khan (novel)

The Last Descendants: Fate of the Gods (novel)

Assassin’s Creed: the French Books (these have all been translated into english and theyre all graphic novels).

These books I would say to skip. If you want to read it you can, however the modern storyline has been said to no longer be canon anymore. The historical storyline however is still canon but not actually necessary to the plot of anything.

Cycle 1

Assassin’s Creed 1: Desmond

Assassin's Creed 2: Aquilus

Assassin's Creed 3: Accipiter

Assassin's Creed 4: Hawk

Assassin's Creed 5: El Cakr

Assassin's Creed 6: Leila

Cycle 2

Assassin’s Creed: Conspiracies

This takes place during WW2

Vol 1: Die Glocke

Vol 2: Project Rainbow

Cycle 3

Assassin’s Creed: Bloodstone

This takes place during the Vietnam War. A follow up on Conspiracies.

Vol 1: book one

Vol 2: book two

The last two I have listed (Conspiracies and Bloodstone) are canon to the comics’ modern storyline as well as the historical. Cycle one is not. They’re both graphic novels. Also I want to say that I have not read these two yet so idk if I’ll be allowed to recommend them but they’re there. I have no idea where they’re placed in terms of modern storyline bc these two are very confusing seeing as they originally were canon then told they weren’t and now they are again.

Other comics that I really have no idea where to place but they do exist if you want to read them:

Assassin’s Creed: Origins (mini series)

Four issues for this comic takes place following Aya and her journey. You get to see what happens with Cleopatra. I personally really like this comic you get some lore on the Brotherhood and Aya so it’s good. Read this after the video game. (Pretty positive it takes place after the game events but before the DLC: hidden ones)

Assassin’s Creed: Valhalla: Song of Glory (mini series)

There are three issues in this. Haven’t read this one yet, however it focuses on Eivor. Read this alongside the video game.

Okay so for canon timeline purposes here is the exact order of everything I’ve listed and where they fall in for strictly the modern storyline:

1 The Fall and the Chain (also called subject four which is just the two of the books into one)

2 Desmond’s story

3 Brahman

4 Assassin’s Creed: Trial by Fire 1 - 5

5 Assassin’s Creed Templars: Black Cross 1 - 5

6 Assassin’s Creed: Setting Sun 6 - 10

6 Assassin’s Creed Templars: Cross of War 6 - 9

7 Assassin’s Creed: Homecoming 11 - 14

Assassin’s Creed Reflections (stand alone don’t have to read if you don’t want to but if you do, read along side the templar stories.)

8 Assassin’s Creed Syndicate modern storyline takes place here

9 Assassin’s Creed: Uprising

10 Origins modern storyline starts here and continues for assassin’s creed odyssey and valhalla*

*If you’re confused as to why Juno isn’t in the game plot anymore the comics explains it. Ubisoft has completely moved her story to the comics entirely and in doing so completely finished the story.

#assassin’s creed #Desmond miles #assassin’s creed comics #assassin’s Creed books #ac master post #assassin’s creed masterpost #I’m not tagging all these games I’m sorry #I didn’t include the movie bc a lot of fans will probably argue over that and I’m not dealing with it #if you catch a mistake please let me know!#also I hope this doesn’t look too messy bc I tried to organize and explain it best I could #asks #anon

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mostlymovieswithmax · 3 years ago

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Movies I watched in June

Now I think I’m comfortably in a rhythm to get these posts out. For one, I’m writing up short reviews either straight after watching a movie or sometimes it might take a few days. But June was a fairly good month in terms of the amount of films I watched. I got to go to the cinema quite a bit which is always fun. Anyway, let’s get on with it! If you’re looking for something good to watch (or maybe even something bad), I hope this list can help in some way to introduce you to new and different movies that maybe you’ve never heard of, or were thinking of checking out. Here is every film I watched from the 1st to the 30th of June 2021.

Bo Burnham: Inside (2021) - 10/10 Everyone was going off about how great this film is. An hour and a half of Bo Burnham in lockdown, singing songs and being upset is definitely a powerful hook and I have to agree with the general consensus because Inside blew me away. More thoughts on this in my podcast: The Sunday Movie Marathon episode 34.

Bo Burnham: Make Happy (2016) - 7/10 After watching Inside, I figured I’d rewatch some of Burnham’s older stand-up shows on Netflix. Make Happy is a lot of fun, injected with a lot of introspection from Burnham that really makes the special stand out, despite a lot of gags that just didn’t land for me.

Bo Burnham: What. (2013) - 6/10 It’s plain to see just how much Bo Burnham has grown over the years and how he has honed his comedy and music. ‘What.’ is a good stepping stone in the comedian’s career, showcasing loads of promise in him from a young age. There are some jokes that haven’t aged as well and some that straight up dragged, but overall the show is still enjoyable.

The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It (2021) - 3/10 Packed theatre for this one, obviously. People love a Conjuring movie, and I’d also say people love a good scare… but this movie isn’t scary, or good for that matter. More thoughts on episode 35 of the podcast.

The Conjuring (2013) - 6/10 After the horrendously disappointing debacle that was the third Conjuring movie, I decided to watch James Wan’s original movie and man, if this wasn’t better in literally every way. I don’t tend to love James Wan movies but I can’t deny he’s got so much talent in how he makes movies and it makes The Conjuring a lot more fun to see competent filmmaking in the horror genre in a way that actually creates an eerie atmosphere with creative uses of camera-work and editing.

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984) - 8/10 Normally I’m not big into the old slasher movies. I appreciate that for the time, perhaps they hit differently, but now I just don’t tend to connect with them. Wes Craven’s ‘A Nightmare on Elm Street’ is a bit of an exception. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not particularly scary, though it does employ a lot of interesting techniques and designs. Undeniably, the design for Fred Krueger is a staple in cinema, with the striped jumper, hat, scarred face and knives for fingers not leaving the mind of the general public any time soon. Elm Street doesn’t have too many kills but when it does, it is so effective and fun to watch. Craven was one of the greats, truly.

One Cut of the Dead (2017) - 8/10 This has to be one of the most engaging zombie movies I’ve seen in a long time. There’s a lot to spoil with One Cut of The Dead but I won’t go into that here. It is clever and funny, subverting expectations in ways I really didn’t expect. I really cannot recommend it enough.

Dave Chappelle: Sticks & Stones (2019) - 8/10 Since we’re watching Chappelle's Show for episode 45 of the podcast, I wanted to get an idea for what I was in for, so I watched Dave Chappelle’s stand-up show from a couple of years ago. Yeah, really funny, which I suppose is what you want from a stand-up special, but what makes it better is Chappelle’s commentary on the world at large and how he’s able to combine humour with intelligent criticism.

Fear(s) of the Dark (2008) - 4/10 A few years ago I think I watched this animated black and white anthology film on a New Year's Day when I had foolishly decided to pull an all-nighter and then go out with mates for ice cream. Never again. But I’d forgotten what I thought of this movie and decided to get the DVD for cheap on eBay. Perhaps I am doomed to watch Fear(s) of the Dark only when I am tired because I popped this on when it was nearing midnight. I was lucid enough to understand what I was watching though… and it was quite boring. These short films emulate the filmmakers’ nightmares - an interesting premise in theory, but pretty weak on execution.

The Bourne Identity (2002) - 3/10 We marathoned the first three Bourne movies for The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast, episode 36 so check that out for my expanded thoughts on this, the best Bourne of the three.

The Bourne Supremacy (2004) - 2/10 Immediately after, we did the deep dive into Supremacy, the second Bourne and the worst of the three (albeit by a very slim margin). Check out episode 36 for more.

The Bourne Ultimatum (2007) - 2/10 I really couldn’t care less about these terrible movies. It was a horrible chore to sit through them. Ultimatum was also rubbish. More gripes and discussion in episode 36 of the podcast.

The Father (2021) - 10/10 Another trip to the cinema for this masterpiece. I tried very hard not to sob loudly in the theatre where aside from myself, the audience totalled three people. More discussion of The Father in episode 36 the podcast.

Drag Me To Hell (2009) - 2/10 I’m pretty shocked that Sam Raimi directed this. Usually when I watch one of his films, I can see his staple of fun gore, practical effects, crazy camera movements… but there was none of that here. It just felt like a really bad horror, indistinguishable from the regular affair, with no personality or passion. Drag Me To Hell might even have been one of those movies I’d avoided in the past when I was younger because it seemed too scary but no, it was just boring and bad and I feel like there’s something I’m not getting out of this that other people seem to be.

Moonrise Kingdom (2012) - 8/10 At this point, I feel I have to admit Wes Anderson as perhaps my second favourite director. His movies are just so nice and beautiful to watch. Moonrise Kingdom is a quirky love story between two kids and honestly, with any other director, could have been handled poorly because the story is quite simple. But Anderson injects so much of his signature style and personality into the film. A powerhouse of actors with the likes of Frances McDormand, Bill Murray, Bruce Willis and Tilda Swinton, among a few of Anderson’s regulars, make Moonrise Kingdom a breeze. Good for a dark day to lift the spirits.

Nobody (2021) - 8/10 I needed something to fill an otherwise uneventful day, so I hopped on a bus and booked a ticket for Ilya Naishuller’s new action movie, Nobody. The film started and to my annoyance, the lights in the theatre were still on. When I go to the cinema I don’t really want to see the other people sitting around me, so I got up from my seat, abandoning the first two minutes of the film to find a member of staff to turn the lights off. After showing them that the lights were in fact still on, I took to my seat and watched the movie for what felt like a little while before the lights went off. Nobody is a really fun action movie. Perhaps similar in a lot of ways to John Wick, but with more personality to the main character. More thoughts on episode 37 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast.

The Darjeeling Limited (2007) - 8/10 After procuring the Criterion blu-ray from my local hmv, I delved into all the supplements it had to offer, including a making-of documentary, chats with the director, and a gallery of polaroid pictures from when they were shooting the film in India. The Darjeeling Limited is perhaps not peak Wes Anderson, but I do kind of love it. It makes me want to go on a journey to another country with my brother and sister, perhaps in ten to fifteen years. Here, the main characters are three brothers who travel to India seeking some kind of spiritual experience. Things don’t seem to work out that way, however, because I’m not sure how spiritual an experience you can have when you plan out an itinerary to schedule it. Fantastic performances all round and of course, beautiful direction and cinematography.

Face/Off (1997) - 3/10 Was I supposed to laugh? Maybe I was just too tired but I really couldn’t stand Face/Off. It didn’t feel particularly special and despite a couple of fun ideas, it was mostly quite boring.

Luca (2021) - 5/10 The new Pixar movie leaves a lot to be desired. The animation is really second to none and I can’t fault how beautiful the movie looks, more so when it’s set in this little Italian town than under the sea. The story is so uninspired though, with the basic premise being that the protagonists want a Vespa so they enter a competition to win the money to buy one. Also they’re fish that turn into people on dry land. Maybe that’s enough for some people, but I couldn’t shake the familiarity of Luca. It never went in any interesting directions and basically did exactly what I figured it would do. I don’t believe it’s out here to subvert expectations but I would like some creativity when it comes to the writing. Perhaps if I watched it again, I might like it less. It was pretty dull.

Punch-Drunk Love (2002) - 10/10 I’m a little disappointed with the Criterion blu-ray for Punch-Drunk love. It’s supplements host a couple of low-quality deleted scenes that were clearly deleted for a reason, and some weird artsy music videos that incorporated footage from the movie. I was quite shocked at how low-effort it all seemed. The movie itself is fantastic though and I do believe it to be Adam Sandler’s best performance (and I really liked Uncut Gems). He portrays a man who is constantly put down by his family, clearly has some kind of social disability, and on top of it all he’s getting scammed by a sex line. Amongst all this, he’s trying to navigate a new relationship and it’s so sweet to watch all the interactions between Sandler and Emily Watson. It’s a perfect melding of romance, comedy and anxiety, beautifully directed by Paul Thomas Anderson.

Fargo (1996) - 9/10 Another movie you wouldn’t expect to be so funny, especially since it’s based on this horrific true story about murder, deceit and money. But the Coen brothers know how to handle it. Excellent performances, beautiful colour palette, and a story that just gets more and more insane as it goes.

House (1977) - 7/10 House (or, Hausu) was a recommendation for episode 37 of The Sunday Movie Marathon podcast so check that out for more discussion. Generally speaking, this Japanese horror/comedy was bonkers. Insanely creative and abstract (which at points can detriment the film) with an almost Balamory-esque presentation. I was happy to find that the comedy was not lost on me at all; this is a hilarious film, albeit maybe not all the time.

The Princess Bride (1987) - 10/10 I reviewed this in my May wrap-up but this time around, I had recommended The Princess Bride for the podcast, the discussion for which you can listen to in episode 37. It all clicked this time around. It is such a fun, warm movie with a lot of laughs and superb production.

This Is Spinal Tap (1984) - 8/10 Another Rob Reiner joint, a few years before The Princess Bride. This Is Spinal Tap is lauded as a masterpiece in comedic cinema and I might agree; this movie is hilarious. Shot in mockumentary fashion, it follows a band playing shows and trying to get gigs, coupled with the inevitable screw-ups of live performance and creative disagreements. It lost me every now and again but it’s still a must-watch.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996) - 6/10 A decent Disney flick but certainly not their best. One highlight includes the villain singing a lament about wanting to have sex with Esmerelda and calling her a witch for giving him a boner.

Ponyo (2008) - 4/10 Not sure if I’ve ever disliked a Miyazaki movie before but I did not vibe with Ponyo. It came across as very baby and as such, there really wasn’t much to read into. The animation is fantastic as always but so much of it felt specifically tailored to a younger crowd.

Roman Holiday (1953) - 9/10 Classic romance at its best. I had heard on a podcast that this was the sexiest movie the guest had ever seen and while maybe not in the traditional sense of the word, I do get where they’re coming from. I was tearing up with just how lovely it all was, following a princess who runs away and spends the day with a man she meets in Rome (where it was shot on location), doing all the things she’s wanted to do but never could because of royal responsibilities. Fantastic performances from Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck who sell the chemistry of the characters so well.

F9 (2021) - 2/10 I’ve never seen any of the Fast & Furious movies and after watching the ninth in the series, I don’t want to. This is basically the Vin Diesel show; we watch him drive cars fast and punch people a lot. Wow! I don’t really understand what it (and forgive the pun) driving people to see these movies if they’re all in this same vein. As far as I can tell, F9 is the goofiest of the series so far and I’ll admit I had a chuckle or two at some of the truly implausible moments, such as a part where one of the team gets shot by about ten men with machine guns, yet manages to kill them all without being affected by the bullets… but overall, in this two-and-a-half-hour experience, I was largely bored.

Shaolin Soccer (2001) - 7/10 I love this movie! Shaolin Soccer is so much fun; it is goofy and out there and completely crazy, all by design. Steven Chow knew what he was making when he set out to craft this insane story of a group of guys using Kung-Fu to play football. The basic story itself is nothing new but it’s elevated by the infectious comedy and implausibility of what’s happening. Balls are kicked into space and across fields so fast the very ground is torn asunder. A man eats an egg off a dirty shoe. This is cinema.

Casino Royale (2006) - 7/10 I had seen a trailer at the cinema for the new Bond movie and I have to say, I’ve never really given 007 the time of day, aside from a few of the very first movies I’d tried watching a while ago. But the new trailer kind of got me hyped, so I wanted to watch all of the Craig era Bond movies, starting with Casino Royale. I had a great time! Even though there’s not loads of fighting or weapons or fast cars, the meat of the movie actually comes from this poker game Bond is playing against the villain, played brilliantly by Mads Mikkelsen. I was surprised to witness a bit of cock-and-ball torture in this 12-rated movie but I would be lying if I said it didn’t stick with me.

Quantum of Solace (2008) - 5/10 Immediately after Casino Royale, I jumped into the second of Daniel Craig’s Bond movies, Quantum of Solace. Sadly it’s quite weak, with not much going on aside from the general Bond fare. Mathieu Amalric’s villain lacked a lot of menace or motivation and generally, I’m not super worried about a brilliant story in a Bond movie, but even the action felt weak in this. Quantum of Solace didn’t exactly upset me but it failed to wow me in any way either. The saving grace of the movie is certainly Daniel Craig as the hero, capturing Bond and what he’s supposed to be.

Skyfall (2012) - 6/10 A marked improvement from its predecessor, Sam Mendes helms Skyfall, Craig’s third outing as Bond. Skyfall delves into Bond’s past as he seems to be slipping a bit, not as much the expert operative he once was. It would have been nice to see more of his fall from grace, as they don’t really show us how he’s become less efficient as much as they give other characters expository dialogue telling us how he drinks and does drugs and is haunted by childhood trauma. For me, that’s where the meat of the story lies and I would have preferred more of a character piece if indeed they were delving into that side of the character anyway. That being said, the fights are still better choreographed than the last instalment and the colour grading and scenery is often very visually interesting. Everything in Skyfall is better than its predecessor and it’s surely thanks to Sam Mendes who does a great job at directing.

Howl's Moving Castle (2004) - 8/10 Another go round for Howl's Moving Castle, as this was a recommendation for my podcast, The Sunday Movie Marathon. My opinion, I feel, is unchanged. It's a fantastic film, and you can listen to more of what I have to say in episode 37. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2 - 3/10 A pretty poor end to a poor series of movies. I'm surprised I've watched the Twilight movies as many times as I have but I also know I'll watch them again. Part 2 I watched with the YMS commentary track on YouTube which, again made the experience a lot better. But otherwise the series seemed to get better as it went along… until the last movie. Ultimately my biggest problem with it is that nothing actually happens and the plot feels like a late addition rather than a natural progression of the story. It’s basically a whole movie of set-up to a payoff that doesn’t even canonically happen. A big thing with YA adaptations in this era was making a final book into two movies, regardless as to whether it needed that much time or not. Breaking Dawn does not need to be two movies at two hours each. About ten new characters are introduced here and the film is afraid of killing even one of them off. It's the last movie! We're not going to see these characters again! Kill some of them! There's just no emotional weight to any of it and I hate to say I was disappointed with the ending because I have such low expectations for these films but man, this was so unsatisfying.

Frances Ha (2012) - 8/10 Life is hard. And I hate this movie because it shows me so much of what terrifies me about being alive. And I love this movie because it shows me so much of what I’m alive for. Noah Baumbach’s brutally honest depiction of growing up and fending for yourself struck me in a way I wasn’t expecting and I think it’s because I’m at a point in my life where I’m worrying a lot about how it’s all going to turn out. The titular character is burdened with the stress of working low-paid jobs and paying rent while juggling school and making time for her passion of dancing as she tries to connect with people she’s lost, as temporary friends and housemates come and go. She feels like a lonely character despite often being around a lot of people. Frances Ha is fantastic and heartbreaking and uplifting… but it made me feel bad so I hate it.

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gloryofluv · 3 years ago

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Order Up! (Coffee Shop AU) Chapter 8

Just going to say, Satan you sneaky little shit. Hahaha This chappy was so fun to write.

Previous Chapter

Alex walked Lucifer inside, and she began her tour. He was silent and examined things with precise evaluation. The woman relaxed as she led him through the first floor. She often would shake her head and shrug at the old furniture she hasn’t touched like monuments to her dead parents.

It was when she took him up the staircase that she grew edgy. Alex showed him the spare room that Jordan stayed in and shook her head at the furniture left. The other room was a study for her father she never went into.

Alex skipped a door and then pointed to the last door down the hall. “And then my parents’ room. So, yeah, that’s the gist of it. I really just think most of the furniture is going to be sold or given away.”

Lucifer scowled at the closed door at the end of the hall. “You never go inside their room?”

“Oh, I dust and everything. I just haven’t packed anything of theirs,” Alex expressed with a tint to her cheeks.

He hummed and paced past her to the door she skipped. “This is your room?”

She nodded quickly. “Yeah.”

He arched an eyebrow before moving from the door. “We’ll see what you will need immediately later.”

Alex rubbed her forearm and agreed. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

“Let’s take a walk around the yard before we sit down,” Lucifer declared and beckoned her to the staircase.

The pair traveled out to the backyard, and Lucifer evaluated the lawn furniture, swing, and grass. He moved around the side of the house with Alex, and they went through the gate. He gestured to a few decorations and smiled in the slightest.

“I’ve enjoyed seeing those glass peacocks for many years,” He chuckled.

Alex beamed and stroked one of them. “Yes, my mom got them in India when they went on vacation before I was born.”

“I do hope you plan on keeping them. They are a piece of art,” Lucifer nodded.

“Oi, Lucifer! Why are you parked in the driveway?” Mammon shouted.

The pair jerked, and Mammon was walking out of the house. Well, if he didn’t look around, he wouldn’t have seen them. The tremulous man gasped and raced over with a bouncy stride. “Oh, hey, Alex. Whatcha doing over here?”

“We’re evaluating her home,” Lucifer sighed.

“Her home?” Mammon was scratching his head as he glanced at the house. “Ya buying it?”

“No, I’m selling it,” Alex said.

Mammon’s eyes shot open. “Alex, ya live here?” He gasped.

She rocked her head.

“Yes, and now that we have that fact cleared away. We will be helping her move. All of us,” Lucifer voiced.

Mammon blinked and closed the distance. “Yeah, I mean, sure. She’s just one girl and needs some strong men,” he winked.

Alex groaned as Lucifer smacked Mammon’s head. “We talked about this,” Lucifer growled.

Mammon winced and rubbed the back of his head. “Fuck, Lucifer.”

“Hey, what are all of you doing over there?” Satan called out.

Alex shook her head with a small smile. Of course. Satan left their front yard with Asmodeus in tow. Asmo was whispering to Satan in speedy whispers, and he was nodding. They walked over the grass and met the group.

“What exactly is going on?” Asmo asked with exasperation on his face.

Lucifer rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. “Beel, get your brother and come across the street. The house with the glass peacocks.”

“Um, okay, Lucifer,” Beel grumbled through the speaker.

He hung up and shook his head. “We mind as well do this now.”

“What about Levi?” Mammon puffed.

“He’s at his anime club at the college,” Satan declared.

“Oh, I’m so proud of him!” Alex gasped. “I’ve been trying to convince him that just because he’s doing online classes doesn’t mean he shouldn’t join a club.”

Satan smiled and nodded. “Yes, he said you promised it would be fun.”

The door across the street slammed, and Beel walked outside with Belphegor stomping with him. They saw Alex and scowled together before walking into the yard. “What the fuck do you think I did now?” Belphegor grumbled.

“Nothing, let’s go inside,” Lucifer sighed and glanced at Alex.

Oh, she needed to lead. Okay. She jutted into motion and moved to the front door. Alex welcomed them inside and guided them into the living room. Lucifer stood by the mantle as Alex settled in the armchair. The other brothers sat down on the sofa and loveseat.

“Well, what are we doing here?” Asmo hummed.

“This is Alex’s house,” Lucifer declared.

Asmo gasped and covered his mouth.

Beel and Belphie glanced at each other.

Satan just smirked and nodded.

“How long have you lived here?” Asmo questioned.

“Since I was a baby,” Alex laughed.

“You knew you lived across from us?” Beel inquired.

“Not until Lucifer helped me with my car. That was how he knew I had a flat tire,” Alex explained.

“Alex has to move, and we are offering her a room to rent until she finds a permanent residence after the sale of her house,” Lucifer voiced.

Satan’s eyebrows arched his eyebrows. “Oh, that’s interesting.”

“Before we go into any odd questions,” Lucifer puffed and shook his head. “There are going to be rules.”

“Well, yeah, for starters, Asmo, you can’t just bust into her room,” Belphie teased.

Lucifer exhaled and glanced at her. “Are you positive you can tolerate them?”

Alex shifted and shrugged. “I’ve only ever lived with Jordan and my parents before. I never had to live in a dorm or anything because I had the house.”

“Oh, you’re so cute! She truly is adorable!” Asmo gushed and shook Satan’s arm. “We need to move her today!”

Satan grimaced and took his arm from Asmodeus. “Alex, I think Lucifer is serious. Do you really want that?” he gestured at Asmo.

Asmo pouted and puffed. “Jerk.”

“I think the obvious is the rules that we had about females in the house before are to be abided by,” Lucifer hummed and waved his hand.

Satan scowled. “I wasn’t around for that, Lucifer.”

“It’s fine,” Lucifer hummed. “We’ll go over them later.”

Alex cleared her throat. “I just want to say I’m not going to be too much trouble. I just work and spend plenty of time by myself. I’ll do my best not to get anyone’s way.”

“You won’t be in anyone’s way,” Belphegor snorted.

“We are going to help her move her things. This is your opportunity to do for her what Diavolo and his father did for us. Do I make myself clear? They helped us in grief, and now we can do the same for Alex,” Lucifer voiced as he directed his attention to his brothers.

They all nodded. “For Lilith,” Beel agreed.

“Yes,” Mammon puffed as he grimaced.

“Hey, if you guys help me sell some of the junk I’m getting rid of, I’ll split the cash with you,” Alex offered.

Mammon perked up and grinned. “Yeah? That sounds easy. Leave it to me!”

“No, I’ll take care of that. So it’s fair,” Satan shook his head. “Mammon is too greedy to help it. However, I’m always willing to help, Alex. We talked about this the other day.”

Asmo waved his hand. “I’ll help with the clothes and accessories! I have to make sure you don’t get rid of the vintage for pennies, honey.”

“Yes, we’ll all help,” Beel nodded.

“Levi has a great setup on eBay,” Belphegor nodded. “I can help him with the pictures and all that.”

Alex blinked. This was the strangest thing ever. They all were just going to help without anything in return? She teared up and tried to hide her face with her hand.

Lucifer breathed and rubbed her shoulder. “It’s alright, Alex.”

“I’m just so touched. No one’s ever done this for me before. I’m so used to being abandoned when times get hard,” she murmured.

“We’re a weird fucked up family, welcome,” Belphegor said.

“Whether ya like it or not, girl,” Mammon added.

“Please stop calling her that. She has a name,” Satan complained.

Alex laughed and pulled her hand away to see Lucifer looking down at her. “Thank you.”

He nodded and squeezed her shoulder before standing straight again. “So, we have plenty of work to do.”

Her doorbell rang, and she jumped. “Shit, I forgot,” she stood up and went to the front door.

When it opened, Solomon was smiling with boxes and packing tape. “Hello, Alex. This is a nice location.”

“I know,” she smiled and wiped her face. “Thanks for dropping them by for me.”

The murmuring in the other room drew his attention. “Do you have visitors?” Solomon questioned.

“Good afternoon, Solomon,” Lucifer hummed.

Solomon’s smile grew. “Oh, good afternoon, Lucifer. Had I known I was interrupting, I would have waited to stop by.”

“You’re not interrupting,” Lucifer voiced.

“Mammon, stop!” Asmodeus snapped from the other room.

“Do you have the whole family with you?” Solomon questioned as he looked at Alex.

She nodded and waved for him to come inside. “Come on in and put the boxes right next to the stairs. I don’t know where I’m going to get started, but I’ll figure it out eventually.”

Solomon complied and set the tape down on the table. “I have more in my car.”

She rocked her head and walked with him out the door. “Thank you so much. I really appreciate it.”

He waved his finger. “Don’t mention it. I had them sitting there collecting dust.”

Alex beamed and stood on the sidewalk as he lifted his trunk. He pulled out several flattened boxes and handed them to her. He shut it and glanced at the house with a nod.

“This will go for plenty, Alex. Your parents still continue to take care of you in ways you don’t understand yet,” He expressed while taking the boxes from her grip.

“Well, I think some of that is the brothers currently arguing in my living room,” Alex laughed and shook her head.

Solomon beamed and nodded. “They’re odd, but I do happen to like them. Just do yourself a favor. They all have demons due to their tragedies. Be careful with your own, alright?”

She cocked her head with a scowl. “Solomon, doesn’t everyone have demons?”

He shook his head. “Nothing in this world will ever create more than feeling unwanted by your parents and losing someone who loved you unconditionally after that. You and I are more human because we were raised around love. They were not. They had to learn how to. Do you understand?”

“Yes, I think I understand,” Alex nodded.

Solomon reached out and tucked some of her escaped hair behind her ear. “Don’t worry. You’ll be just fine. It will be a good adventure for you,” he smiled.

Her cheeks darkened, and she tucked her chin toward her neck. “I think so too.”

“Let’s get you back inside so you can wrangle them,” Solomon chuckled and lifted the boxes. They walked instep and Solomon hummed. “You’re quite beautiful, Alex. Appearances matter little. What I'm referring to is your mind. Keep fortifying yourself with experiences. Eat it all with fervor. Stop living for the dead. They’re gone.”

She stopped at the door and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.”

His cheeks darkened in the slightest, and he nodded. “Of course, Alex.”

Solomon set the boxes down and patted Alex’s shoulder before they bid each other goodbye. She shut the door behind him and paused in thought. He was right. She really needed to embrace this change. Nodding, she walked back into the living room as Lucifer was speaking.

“And once that’s done, the real estate agent will put up the house for sale,” he finished.

Satan and Beel were nodding. “That’s concise,” Satan agreed.

“So, when are we starting?” Alex questioned.

“Tomorrow afternoon,” Lucifer said. “Then, on Thursday, we shall work all day on such. By Saturday, we should have things together to help you move your things over to the spare room. The workers can start with the lower level next week.”

She arched her eyebrow. “Were you talking to my real estate agent today, Lucifer?”

He nodded. “I’m efficient, Alex. When things need to be done, I don’t waver.”

“You are very efficient, and I’m truly grateful for all of you,” Alex smiled.

“Are you coming over for dinner?” Beel asked.

Asmo rocked his head. “You should.”

“Yeah, totally,” Mammon agreed.

Alex laughed and rocked her head. “Okay, I will.”

“Good,” Lucifer paused at his phone ringing. “Yes, Diavolo?” He asked and walked out of the room.

“Such a good little boot licker,” Belphegor snickered.

“How much do you think he sucks his dick between paperwork?” Satan snorted while rolling his eyes.

Alex blinked and tilted her head. “Wait, they’re together?”

Satan grinned and covered Asmo’s mouth. “Yes.”

Mammon snorted. “Yeah, it wouldn’t surprise me, but I don't give a fuck.”

“Completely. Lucifer’s been sucking Diavolo’s dick for years,” Belphegor nodded.

“Now you’re just lying to me,” Alex snorted.

Asmo pulled Satan’s hand from his mouth and puffed. “What I was going to say is yes! Those two are a big power couple behind closed doors,” he laughed.

Beel scratched his head and shrugged. “I guess.”

Alex bounced her shoulders. “Well, you learn something new every day, I guess.”

There was a little back and forth on the subject, but Alex felt her ego slightly deflate. Well, it makes sense, actually. Lucifer basked in compliments, but that's all that was, and came running to her aid. She was a wounded bird.

The woman sat down in her chair and listened to the brothers as they talked about memories at Diavolo’s estate and living there for a bit with his father. They made her laugh and smile, but mostly they made her feel a part of their weird family. That’s what she was missing; family.

@rsmrymnt-tea@otome-scribbles

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hxneydreamers · 3 years ago

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Hello dear ! I have read your blogs. You are amazing !!!! (10000x 💞 for you ). I wanted to ask a question . Neville goddard said that time doesn't really exist in manifesting . So actually my sp who is celebrity is very very older than me . Like we have a age gap of 12 years. 😥 as said i am minor. I decided to manifest him when i am 18 . But sometimes i get impatient but then i feel a bit upset and it's not legal to date a minor. Plus he lives in korea . As i have indian parents they never will allow me to even fly to korea. And even if we get in a relationship . They will never like him. Tho my mother is into the group (he is in a group ) she won't ever. As being in india , india is pathetic country with bs Trash . They ( the group is seen as bunch of gays) and most hurting thing is lgbtq is not accepted in this fuking country . Ppl tread them as trash not human. They get so much discrimination ( most of them are transgender ) and hate . Like they have to live together because thier parents disown them and stuff. Makeup is gender less. But in this country men have to be men. like all the fking indian celebrity don't ever wear makeup (males) . (Not gonna lie they all don't even have clear skin like korean ) Skin care is not menly . Men shouldn't do it. The mentally in this country is fucked up.

Now back to the topic.

- how my parents will judge him ? (Most my papa because mom knows a lot about korean cultural but she won't stand with me including some mfs relatives who judgemental af . Relatives ohh my these bishs are hella judgement (most the old one) doesn't matter how they themselves look or personality )

- is he gay ? Why he so feminine ? He is uses makeup damn sure he is gay or somthing he is a girl for sure !!

Doesn't matter how successfully he is and his personality . Doesn't matter how much more he is successful more than you. (Relatives and parent) don't matter if loves your beautiful daughter. doesn't fuken matter if he is caring and financial stable.

- as i minor they won't let me go to even study in korea !

- tbh my plans are to skip 12 or 10 grade (i am in 8 th grade now) and study in korean university as it's one of my dream. Then work as cosmologist here . I want to to have family here.

But but but

My parents hahah never i even asked them they even made fun of my dreams and they said it's gonna take 20 years to reach there .

I am extremely discouraged .

Then on the other hand i also want to desire body before everything happens . Like going to korea and stuff.

I suck at affirming and visualizing . I habe never got results from scripting.

Plus i got my school too. Omg also learning korean too.

Omg i am so done !! 😭 please help me and guide me. And advice me ! i am extremely sorry for my bad english . I am not a native.

Everything is so hard

Hey! Thank you so so so much for reaching out to me! I really appreciate you coming to me for advice! Don’t worry, your English was fine!

*I'm going to begin this post by clarifying that whilst it is possible for you to manifest anything in your reality, I do not encourage you manifesting this person if you are underage and they are much older. You have said in your question that you will not manifest them until you are 18, which is good, however I will just make it clear that this post is to help you manifest the other circumstances in your reality, and not the person or the age gap.*

Let me start by telling you I obviously haven’t experienced this as intensely as you have as I live in a country where people are much more open-minded about sexuality and ideas of masculinity, but I have stories to share with you from my own life that are very similar to what you want to manifest! They might encourage you! (PS, these following stories all took place from when I was at the age of 19 and up.)

(This story is before I knew about manifesting). My parents are very strict and traditional and I always wanted to go overseas to study in a specific country for at least a few months. My parents forbid it and I never would have been allowed to go, but I wanted it so badly that it was all I thought about and dreamed about! I started watching a TV show set in that country every single day. I even learned the language for fun. I somehow manifested it, because the next year, I took a semester off university and I went to that country for 3 months to live. So no matter what your parents say, you can 100% manifest this.

I had a celebrity crush in that country and I wanted to meet him and be with him SO BADLY! I didn’t know about manifesting until afterwards unfortunately, but guess what? I manifested seeing him MULTIPLE TIMES on the street, because I constantly thought about seeing him there and bumping into him! I even messaged him once and he responded. I also had one of his best friends on snapchat because I met him when I was there lol. I never got the celebrity crush because I focused too much on negative things. If I knew about manifesting, I would have gotten what I wanted.

My (specific person) SP who I am currently dating is actually someone who my parents also didn’t approve of for a long time because of sexuality and he is not stereotypically masculine! They also kept telling me negative things. The good news is that now my parents accept him and are happy for us!

Thank you for giving me the background information on your circumstances, it helps me understand your situation much better, and it also shows me how you’re thinking about the situation as well, which is the most important thing.

The beliefs you have are these:

Parents and other people not approving of the kind of people you are interested in.

You don’t think you can go to Korea for a long time

I’m happy to tell you that YOU CAN CHANGE THIS SITUATION!

As I said in the beginning, the age gap is illegal and should not be manifested. So as a result, you should begin with your beliefs about your family's negative opinions and your ability to travel in the future.

You need to stop mentally reacting to what they say when it’s negative about men who are not stereotypically masculine etc, and also when they say negative things about you ever traveling. They are only saying these things because in your mind you believe this to be true. Reality is an illusion and you need to know that if you really push through and persist, even if it feels extremely difficult, you can change this!

You should start by affirming your self-concept, something like this (you can also affirm in your own language if you prefer so it's natural to you :) whatever is comfortable for you!)

I am capable of anything!

I am a master at manifesting!

I always get what I want easily and effortlessly!

Everything always works out how I want!

Then I want you to affirm for your circumstances:

My family is always extremely accepting and encouraging!

I’m so happy that I’m going to Korea!

If you find it hard to visualise you can just affirm. I know you may feel like you’re bad at it, but if you practice it will get easier. Set a timer for 5 minutes and say your affirmations over and over! Make sure you don’t have any distractions. Focus on them. Do this several times a day, every day.

Also, if you can get the app ‘ThinkUp’ record yourself saying your strongest affirmations, and listen to them at night when you sleep. Start with your self-concept affirmations only for maybe 2 weeks! Then you can add your other affirmations.

Your goal is to change the way you feel and think about yourself and what you are able to do, your surroundings and your family’s opinions. Start with these things. Really persist in them.

I hope this helps in some way! If you ever need to reach out to anyone, so many people on Tumblr in the manifesting community are here to listen! We all want each other to succeed and I know that if you put the work in to do this, you will too!!

I also recommend you start binge-watching one of these youtube channels:

Sammy Ingram

Manifesting With Kimberly

Manifesting Secrets

Dylan James

Create Your Future

YOU CAN DO THIS <3

#manifest #manifesting #manifestation #affirm #affirmations #neville goddard #law of assumption

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szalacsi · 4 years ago

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history

“I’m from Malaysia.

China has traded with Malaysia for 2000 years. In those years, they had been the world’s biggest powers many times. Never once they sent troops to take our land.

Admiral Zhenghe came to Malacca five times, in gigantic fleets, and a flagship eight times the size of Christopher Columbus’ flagship, Santa Maria. He could have seized Malacca easily, but he did not.

In 1511, the Portuguese came.

In 1642, the Dutch came.

In the 18th century the British came.

We were colonised by each, one after another.

When China wanted spices from India, they traded with the Indians. When they wanted gems, they traded with the Persian. They didn’t take lands. The only time China expanded beyond their current borders was in Yuan Dynasty, when Genghis and his descendants Ogedei Khan, Guyuk Khan & Kublai Khan concurred China, Mid Asia and Eastern Europe. Yuan Dynasty, although being based in China, was a part of the Mongolian Empire.

Then came the Century of Humiliation. Britain smuggled opium into China to dope the population, a strategy to turn the trade deficit around, after the British could not find enough silver to pay the Qing Dynasty in their tea and porcelain trades.

After the opium warehouses were burned down and ports were closed by the Chinese in ordered to curb opium, the British started the Opium War I, which China lost. Hong Kong was forced to be surrendered to the British in a peace talk (Nanjing Treaty).

The British owned 90% of the opium market in China, during that time, Queen Victoria was the world’s biggest drug baron. The remaining 10% was owned by American merchants from Boston. Many of Boston’s institutions were built with profit from opium.

After 12 years of Nanjing Treaty, the West started getting really really greedy. The British wanted the Qing government:

1. To open the borders of China to allow goods coming in and out freely, and tax free.

2. Make opium legal in China. Insane requests, Qing government said no.

The British and French (with supports from the US), started Opium War II with China, which again, China lost.

The Anglo-French military raided the Summer Palace, and threatened to burn down the Imperial Palace, the Qing government was forced to pay with ports, free business zones, 300,000 kilograms of silver and Kowloon was taken.

Since then, China’s resources flew out freely through these business zones and ports. In the subsequent amendment to the treaties, Chinese people were sold overseas to serve as labor.

In 1900, China suffered attacks by the 8-National Alliance (Empire of Japan, Russian Empire, British Empire (including India), France, USA, Germany, Italy, Austria-Hungary).

Innocent Chinese civilians in Peking (Beijing now) were murdered, buildings were destroyed & women were raped. The Imperial Palace was raided, and treasures ended up in museums like the British Museum in London and the Louvre in Paris.

In late 1930s China was occupied by the Japanese in WWII. Millions of Chinese died during the occupancy. 300,000 Chinese died in Nanjing Massacre alone. Mao brought China together again from the shambles. There were peace and unity for some time. But Mao’s later reign saw sufferings and deaths from famine and power struggles.

Then came Deng Xiao Ping and his infamous 'black-cat and white-cat' story. His preference in pragmatism than ideologies has transformed China. This thinking allowed China to evolve all the time to adapt to the actual needs in the country, instead of rigidly bounded to ideologies. It also signified the death of Communism in actually practice in China.

The current Socialism+Meritocracy+Market Economy model fits the Chinese like gloves, and it propels the uprise of China. Singapore has a similar model, and has been arguably more successful than Hong Kong, because Hong Kong being gateway to China, was riding on the economic boom in China, while Singapore had no one to gain from.

In just 30 years, the CPC have moved 800 millions of people out from poverty. The rate of growth is unprecedented in human history. They have built the biggest mobile network, by far the biggest high speed rail network in the world, and they have become a behemoth in infrastructure. They made a fishing village called Shenzhen into the world’s second largest technological centre after the Silicon Valley.

They are growing into a technological power house. It has the most elaborate e-commerce and cashless payment system in the world. They have launched exploration to Mars. The Chinese are living a good life and China has become one of the safest countries in the world.

The level of patriotism in the country has reached an unprecedented height. For all of the achievements, the West has nothing good to say about it. China suffers from intense anti-China propagandas from the West. Western Media used the keyword “Communist” to instil fear and hatred towards China.

Everything China does is negatively reported. They claimed China used slave labor in making iPhones. The truth was, Apple was the most profitable company in the world, it took most of the profit, leave some to Foxconn (a Taiwanese company) and little to the labor.

They claimed China was inhuman with one-child policy. At the same time, they accused China of polluting the earth with its huge population. The fact is the Chinese consume just 30% of energy per capita compared to the US.

They claimed China underwent ethnic cleansing in Xinjiang. The fact is China has a policy which priorities ethnic minorities. For a long time, the ethnic minorities were allowed to have two children and the majority Han only allowed one. The minorities are allowed a lower score for university intakes. There are 39,000 mosque in China, and 2100 in the US.

China has about 3 times more mosque per muslim than the US. When terrorist attacks happened in Xinjiang, China had two choices:

1. Re-educate the Uighur (CENSUDED by Youtube) before they turned (CENSUDED by Youtube). (**Here I could not copy the exact word, since today it is censored by YouTube if I write it next to the indicated ethnicity. It is the one used to identify those crazy people who are killing people thinking that by doing this they will be able to go to paradise**).

2. Let them be, after they launch attacks and killed innocent people, bomb their homes. China chose 1 to solve problem from the root and not to do killing.

How the US solve terrorism? Fire missiles from battleships, drop bombs from the sky.

During the pandemic, When China took extreme measures to lockdown the people, they were accused of being inhuman.

When China recovered swiftly because of the extreme measures, they were accused of lying about the actual numbers.

When China’s cases became so low that they could provide medical support to other countries, they were accused of politically motivated. Western Media always have reasons to bash China. Just like any country, there are irresponsible individuals from China which do bad things, but the China government overall has done very well.

But I hear this comment over and over by people from the West: I like Chinese people, but the CPC is evil. What they really want is the Chinese to change the government, because the current one is too good.

Fortunately China is not a multi-party democratic country, otherwise the opposition party in China will be supported by notorious NGOs (Non-Government Organization) of the USA, like the NED (National Endowment for Democracy), to topple the ruling party.

The US and the British couldn’t crack Mainland China, so they work on Hong Kong. Of all the ex-British colonial countries, only the Hong Kongers were offered BNOs by the British. Because the UK would like the Hong Kongers to think they are British citizens, not Chinese.

A divide-and-conquer strategy, which they often used in Color Revolutions around the world. They resort to low dirty tricks like detaining Huawei’s CFO & banning Huawei. They raised a silly trade war which benefits no one. Trade deficit always exist between a developing and a developed country.

USA is like a luxury car seller who ask a farmer: why am I always buying your vegetables and you haven’t bought any of my cars? When the Chinese were making socks for the world 30 years ago, the world let it be.

But when Chinese started to make high technology products, like Huawei and DJI, it caused red-alert. Because when Western and Japanese products are equal to Chinese in technologies, they could never match the Chinese in prices.

First world countries want China to continue in making socks. Instead of stepping up themselves, they want to pull China down. The recent movement by the US against China has a very important background.

When Libya, Iran, and China decided to ditch the US dollar in oil trades, Gaddafi’s was killed by the US, Iran was being sanctioned by the US, and now it’s China’s turn. The US has been printing money out of nothing. The only reason why the US Dollar is still widely accepted, is because it’s the only currency which oil is allowed to be traded with.

The US has an agreement with Saudi that oil must be traded in US dollar ONLY. Without the petrol-dollar status, the US dollars will sink, and America will fall.

Therefore anyone trying to disobey this order will be eliminated. China will soon use a gold-backed crypto-currency, the alarms in the White House go off like mad.

China’s achievement has been by hard work. Not by looting the world. I have deep sympathy for China for all the suffering, but now I feel happy for them. China is not rising, they are going back to where they belong. Good luck China.”

16 notes · View notes

r6sblitz · 4 years ago

Text

Happy Valentines day! I don’t have an AO3 but I am debating on making one. Nevertheless, I haven’t written anything fictional since middle school so if it’s bad...at least I have an excuse.

It’s Valentines week, and Montagne needs a date to get entry to the fabled Valentines party. I wonder who it’ll be? (This fic is mild, just some kissing, a little less than 5k words, Montagne/Blitz)

Montagne turned the paper over, inspecting both sides. Valentines was coming up once again, and as per tradition Rainbow threw a huge Valentine's party at whatever hotel ballroom would let them. He's heard the stories of past years--like the one year someone made a "punch" that was nothing more than a concoction of pepto bismol and fruit punch. Or how every year would end in someone finding a couple making out in numerous secluded areas. The Frenchman himself had never been to any of the outings, as the big bold print at the end of the rose colored flier always barred his entrance.

‘Must have a date!’ it read in it's silky letters, mocking him.

It was no secret Gilles loved a good party, especially one where he could engage with his fellow peers. Sadly though, he's yet to find a date. He's thought about just taking a friend and lying, but his poor communication skills also factor into his inability to lie.

With a sigh, he places the flier next to his plate, eating his lunch in peace. That was, until two familiar faces joined him at the table.

"Hey Gilles!" Emmanuelle's warm voice brought a smile to his face as he watched her and Rook sit across from him.

The two very much reminded him of his siblings when they were younger--bright and protective, but they could be mischievous at times. Montagne hasn't even had a chance to greet her back before the flier is snatched from across the table by Julien.

"Planning on attending this year?" he asks with a smirk. Emmanuelle's smile brightens, "Oh it's so much fun Gilles! Please tell me your coming."

Gilles gives a waning smile, "I haven't got a date."

Julien let out an amused huff, "As if that's ever stopped Bandit from sneaking in and stealing the snacks."

Twitch gives him a fake slap to the shoulder, "Don't be mean!" she turns to Monty, "What he means to say is don't feel bad for not having a 'date'," she says with air quotes, "you could just bring a friend. I'm sure everyone would be happy to see you there."

Montagne rubs the back of his neck, "I'm not so sure. I feel it is...out of the spirit?" The two across the table share a confused look unbeknownst to Monty, Julien simply shrugging his shoulders in response. A few moments of silent eating pass before Julien speaks up.

"Well...is there anyone you're close to? Maybe you could use this chance to get to know them a little bit better?" he asks before sticking another forkful of food into his mouth and winking.

Montagne chews the inside of his cheek a moment, cogs in his head turning. He honestly hadn't had a romantic relationship in decades, deeming his job too important to have something take more of his focus away. But if it was a fellow operator...No. That was equally as bad. Job relationships were known to crash and burn when they went south, and with this job they needed exactly the opposite of that. However his mind wanders to the relationships of Rainbow--how despite so many disliking and downright hating each other, it hasn't caused catastrophic issues.

"I think you might have broken him." he faintly hears Emmanuelle giggle, causing him to snap out of his thoughts.

"Well, Valentine's isn't for another week, so there's plenty of time to think it over." Julien says, standing with his empty plate and bidding farewell.

Emmanuelle searches her empty plate a moment, trying to find the right words for the older man.

Eventually, she picks up her plate, "Try not to think too hard, I say just go with a friend. Who knows what might happen!" and with that he is left alone once again. He peers down at the pink flier and it's swirling text, pocketing it as he too exits from the cafeteria.

--------------------------------------

The note has burned a hole into both his pocket and his mind. Every time he casually puts his hands in his pockets, or reaches for his wallet or phone, he is reminded of it and it's connotations. The past few days he's been taking Julien's advice, thinking about who he would want to bring given the chance.

When he's practicing his shooting, he thinks of Thatcher, has to admit the elder man is rather handsome. Though he highly doubts he's gay or bi or whatever sort of things people call themselves these days.

A technology session with Dokkaebi has him wondering about her, but quickly stuffs the idea--she's much too young, he'd feel like a creep asking her.

After training, a few cuts bring him to Gustave. He too admires him, both for his looks and for his dedication. The two made small talk as Doc inspected the cuts, seeing if they needed stitches or if a heart covered bandaid would do. Montagne laughs at the bandages, oddly cute for a man like him to have, to which Doc sighs and explains someone must have replaced the regular ones with these--the name of the culprit not explicitly said but known anyways.

"Are you attending the Valentines party?" Montagne asks as he pulls the sleeves of his coat back over his now Valentine themed arms.

"I do actually," Doc replies offhandedly, busily putting away the peroxide and bandages, "do you?"

Montagne shakes his head, pushing himself off the gurney.

Doc hums in response, “Well if you can’t find one, don’t feel bad for bringing someone more platonic.”

“Emmanuelle told you didn’t she” Montagne sighs, rubbing his face. The younger GIGN members had good intentions but, sometimes they were a bit too much for the old man.

Doc chuckles, “My lips are sealed. Take it easy friend.”

Montagne leaves, spending the rest of his free time pondering a potential partner and wondering who the hell Doc is bringing as a date. His pacing has led him to the upper floor balconies of the base, one of the many enhancements from their old station at Hereford. He sits on a relatively new cushioned bench, watching wistfully as the setting sun stains the sky a deep orange and the clouds purple. It seems he is destined to not have any time to himself as the glass door facing out onto the balcony opens with a quiet squeak. A familiar figure in a puffy white jacket steps out.

Blitz.

The younger man strides toward him, "Hey, mind some company?" he asks.

Montagne shuffles a bit, making room for the german to sit down. He does, with a long winded sigh.

"Hope I'm not interrupting anything." he chuckles. Montagne smiles back at him and shakes his head. The two enjoy the sunset in peace, though Montagne's mind is elsewhere once again.

Why hadn't he thought of Elias earlier? The german was one of the first people he ever met when Rainbow was conceived. He remembered back to when he was first working with everyone, how he enjoyed Blitz but first thought him naive, or a thrill seeker like Smoke. However as time went on, he found it was the total opposite. Occasionally the german would regale an enthralled younger operator about his time in Kosovo, or in India, or wherever he was stationed in between. Oftentimes the story would horrify them, sometimes along with any older ops within earshot, but he'd lighten the mood by bringing in a happy ending, or following it up with a lighter story. The two also shared morals--the need to protect and make sure everyone was safe regardless of their own situation.

The more Gilles looked at Blitz, the more he began to see. He was kind and pleasant to be around, and had even been helping Montagne improve his english skills. And yet it seemed he was spending less and less time with the german, whether due to more responsibilities or more operators to deal with or a combination of the two. The fact really saddened him, just as they were becoming good friends, they were beginning to drift away.

With his mind lost, he failed to notice Blitz had turned and was now staring at him.

"Er...is there something on my face? Please don't tell me it's marker again, it took me weeks to get that doodle of my neck." he groans, beginning to pull out his phone to check. Montagne shakes himself of his thoughts.

"Ah no, I was just wondering-are you attending the party this weekend?" he asks, unusually nervous.

Blitz tilted his head, "No I'm not, though I have been curious as to how Dominic manages to sneak in every year." he says, putting his chin on his fist in thought.

Before Montagne could reply, the man interjects, "I have an idea, do you have a date?"

Montagne nods his head no.

"Great! We could go together!" he says as if it's just a casual everyday line. Montagne gawks at him, unable to process what's happening until Elias explains further.

"I've always wanted to know how Dom gets in, and I assume you want to go cause well," he vaguely gestures at the frenchman, "it's your type of thing. It's a win win! Unless, you didn't want to go?"

Montagne blinks, waving his hands in front of him, "Oh yes, yes I do." He says, and is surprised he sounds slightly disappointed.

Blitz hops up from his seat, "Great, this will work out perfectly. See you on Saturday?"

"8:30 sharp" Gilles hears himself mumble with a smile. With a lazy salute, the younger man leaves Montagne alone with the rising moon and an odd feeling in his stomach.

------------------------------------------------------

It had been a long time since Gilles had gone shopping for clothes. Typically he’d wear whatever was supplied, and rarely dress up in an old tuxedo that forever sat in his closet. But with a little egging from a certain two GIGN members, they convinced him to go out and buy some nice clothes for once. So now Gilles was inspecting a large map of the mall along with Julien and Oliver, the latter coming along in place of Twitch who claimed she wanted the three of them to have some “guy time”. After a few moments of inspection, Oliver points to the shop.

“Looks like it’s downstairs, toward the east entrance.”

Julien groans, “Should’ve parked at the other lot.”

The three set out, passing by various clothing boutiques, kiosks of toys and gadgets, and sickly sweet dessert stands. Their leisurely walk leads them to a large outlet at the other end of the mall. As soon as they enter, they’re immediately bombarded by the staff, who manage to wring out of them that Montagne was buying an outfit for his “date”. He’s corralled into a changing room and given several different dress shirts, jackets, and chinos before Julien and Olivier manage to drive them off.

He takes his time, putting on the matching sets before coming out and asking the two’s opinions. Gilles almost instantly regrets bringing the two along--both of them manage to find something or other to downvote an outfit. His latest attempt is simple, a peach colored dress shirt with tan brown dress pants. His hands are folded on his chest, exhaustedly listening to his two countrymen.

“Hmm I don’t know Gilles, I think the shirt is too close to your skin tone.” Julien tuts.

“Why did they think that was a good color to make pants out of, it looks like they're made of—” Gilles stomps back into the dressing room before he can hear the rest of Olivier’s sentence.

It wasn’t an easy feat to make Montagne frustrated, but after nearly an hour, he found himself at the end of his rope. The hangers clatter as he inspects what he’s worn and what’s been tossed to the wayside. A pair of black pants and black shirt are the last two items.

He disrobes before shouldering the shirt on, mumbling to himself that if they didn’t like this one, he was just going to wear his old tuxedo. After putting on the outfit, he takes a moment to inspect it in the thin mirror at the back of the changing room. At first he thought the shirt was just a plain black, however the sleeves bare an intricate lacework of swirling gold vines and roses. The pants have a similar, smaller pattern along the seams going down the outside of the legs.

It’s probably one of the more risque things he’s worn, though nothing will top his April fools butterfly armor, but he takes a deep breath and walks out. To his surprise, the two of them are stunned into silence.

“That looks...amazing!” Julien beams. Olivier nods his head in approval. A nearby store attendant comes by and gushes about the outfit, doing their best to flatter Gilles who takes the compliments with a fake smile.

Montagne lets out a relieved sigh, quickly zipping into the changing room and paying for the clothes before he’s hounded anymore. The three of them merrily made their way back to the other side of the mall, finally getting to the car and heading back to base.

—————————————————————————————

The day of Valentines was like any other day. Training, training, and more training. Though the regiments didn’t seem as intense, the day ending earlier than usual and Montagne found his muscles weren’t as sore as they normally would be. He showers at his dorm, taking his time. Personal bathrooms were among many of the luxuries afforded to them at his base, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t appreciate some privacy every once in a while. After he’s done, he dresses in his new attire, and stands in the mirror. He fiddles with his shirt collar, adjusting it this way and that. He’s oddly anxious, a feeling that’s rare for the older man. He couldn’t help but chuckle at himself, years of firefights and hostage situations and he’s scared over a date. Not even--it’s just a friendly outing to get in. Despite his initial excitement for the party, it’s turned into mild disappointment. With a deep sigh, he hopes to at least spend a little time with the german.

Gilles stuffs his wallet and phone into his pocket, and opens the door, and heads toward the parking lot.

Upon arrival at the hotel, he’s surprised to see just how many operators were milling outside the ballroom, waiting to get in. He’s toward the back of the line and is still nearly half an hour early, but he isn’t alone for long.

“You’re early! And it looks like everyone else is to.” Elias says as he makes his way next to him in line, “You look amazing by the way!” he beams. Despite the low light Gilles swears the younger man is blushing.

“Thank you. You look nice as well.” he says, scanning his partner’s outfit. He’s cleaned up nicely, though his hair is a bit tousled, likely the work of Lera. His skin tone contrasts perfectly with his wine red dress shirt and black pants. The two wait in line patiently, which can’t be said for some of the others. A tug at Montagne’s sleeve gets his attention. He looks down to see Blitz discreetly pointing at someone further up the line, follows his direction and spots the person in question.

“Dominic?” Montagne whispers.

“He’s alone, you think Ash is going to let him in?”

Montagne shrugs, “We’ll have to wait and see.”

The booming voice of Clash from the front silenced all the chatter. She announces the beginning of festivities and the door opens, allowing the guests to file in one couple at a time. Slowly but surely the two make their way to the front, watching in awe as Ash and Clash let Dominic go in sans date.

They were about to enter the crowded ballroom when Blitz stopped him.

“I have to ask,” he says, addressing Morowa, “why’d you let Dom in?”

Clash snorts, “About time someone asked me about that. I owed him a huge favor--he fixed my shield during a firefight and probably saved my life. When I asked him what I could do to return the favor, he said he just wanted to get in here every year.”

Elias quirks an eyebrow, “Seriously?”

“Seriously, now off you go, have some fun.” she ushers the two in, who slow down to take in the sights and sounds. Outside of rumors, Montagne didn’t actually know what the Valentine’s party actually looked like. The ballroom was extremely long, ending with an empty stage except for a small table and something under a cloth. Scattered around the room were large round tables fit with white lace table skirts. The dim lights, in addition with the added pink and red lights casting small bubbles of light, shower everything in a soft glow. To the left of the entrance, a row of long tables, nearly stretching to the end of the ballroom, house seemingly every dessert and cocktail in existence. Montagne is sure if he ate one of everything from there, he wouldn’t survive the night.

His hand is still in Elias’s as the younger man guides him away from the entrance toward the center of the room. Montagne takes a moment to appreciate just how warm he is, his hand heating Gilles’s forever cold ones. Through the sea of people he manages to spot Emmanuelle and Gustave. He must have slowed down a bit to see them clearly, as Elias turns around, before he too manages to spot the pair.

“Why don’t you go over and chat, want anything to drink?” he asks.

“Just a bit of champagne, thank you.”

“You got it.” Elias replies, and soon he is lost amidst the waves of couples. The mountain of a man manages to squeeze his way over to Emmanuelle, who’s arm in arm with Caveira, chatting with Gustave. The two women are in wildly different dresses--Emmanuelle in a short strapless navy blue dress that fringes as it goes down, while Taina confidently sports a bit longer obsidian color dress, the long sleeves and low cut accentuating her long jet black hair. Twitch perks up upon seeing Gilles, waving him over.

“You made it! I knew you’d find someone.” she says with a grin, which soon turns devious, “so, who’s your date?”

Montagne scans the room, pointing out Elias at the opposite end holding two drinks and engaging in small chatter with Dominic, the other german’s hands holding as many desserts as humanly possible. It takes a few attempts for Emma to see, until Taina helps guide her vision.

“Oh, Elias! Good choice.” she says playfully. Both her and Taina giggle, striding off to mingle elsewhere.

“I’m glad you could make it Gilles.” Doc says, looking comfortable in a barely blue dress shirt, hands stuffed in the pockets of his dark grey slacks.

“Glad to be here, though I do have to ask-”

Doc tilts his head.

“-who in the world did you bring as a date? I never found out.”

The medic barks with laughter, shaking his head, “You were really concerned about that? I brought Mister Baker,” he points to a gaggle of men nearby consisting of mostly SAS with the exception of Adriano and Aria. Lo and behold Thatcher was among them, waving his hand at a comment Seamus made.

“Ah. I didn’t realize you two were together.” he states bluntly.

“It’s only been a few months, we wanted to keep it relatively low.” he states, “So, how long have you been with Elias?”

Montagne rubs the back of his neck, “In all honesty, he just wanted to see how Dominic got in.”

Doc hums in acknowledgement, “I see. Well, you two enjoy the party, try not to drink too much.” he says, splitting off to join his partner. Thatcher takes to him casually, looping an arm around his back and resting his hand on the doctor’s hip. The little gaggle are surprised at first, that is until Smoke undoubtedly says something raunchy, which earns him the stink eye of both men. Montagne can’t help but chuckle at the site of it all.

“Gustave and Mike huh, can’t say I saw that one coming,” Elias says. Montagne turns to find he’s returned, drinks masterfully held in one arm while the other teeters two plates of dessert foods. Gilles quickly grabs his drink and food, relieving the other man of his juggling duties, which he thanks him for.

“You could have asked for help.” Montagne jokes, taking a sip of the sparkling champagne. It’s a lot sweeter than normal, but he has no doubt everything at that table is more sugary than it should be.

“It’s ok, didn’t want to interrupt your conversation.” he replies softly. There’s an unplaceable look in his eyes as he stares at the liquid in his glass, before taking a chug. Montagne still swears there’s a blush to his cheeks, but the lighting still obscures the colors of his face.

The two chat, occasionally accompanied by another couple, but mostly they talk amongst themselves. Montagne learns a lot in their chatter--like how Elias is pretty good at a lot of sports, but can’t shoot a hoop to save his life. Or that he was in a choir when he was younger, but never pursued music because he’d choke up on stage, though he can’t help but sing while doing the dishes. In turn, Gilles tells him tidbits about himself. Tells him his love of old country guitars, tells him he hates the winter because he gets so cold, tells him he of the times he and his brothers would sneak into their sisters’ room and hide their dolls in odd places around the house. The last one getting a good laugh out of the younger man.

After what seemed like hours of talking, Ash walked up on stage and addressed them all.

“I hope everyone’s been having fun! Now it’s the moment you’ve been waiting for!” she announces, lifting the cloth off both the table and large obelisk on stage. They reveal a turntable and huge speaker accordingly. The lights somehow dim even further, leaving most of the ballroom in shadow. A large portion of the dance hall lights up under a disco ball, its tiny mirrors casting orbs of light that twirl on the floor. Anyone who was sitting down immediately jumps to their feet, grabbing their partners and guiding, or in some cases dragging, them to the dance floor.

Montagne watches wistfully as the operators sway slowly with the beat of the music. Castle picked a good song, an old one he recognizes from the many times it’s played while someone’s cooking or cleaning on base. There’s a pressure on his shoulder. When he looks it turns out to be Elias’s hand.

“Do you...want to dance?” he asks, and this time Montagne is certain the man’s face has gone red. He smiles, takes his hand and the two of them go to the outskirts of the dance area.

“Sorry if I step on your shoes, I have two left feet.” the german chuckles.

They waltz and step to the music, making small movements so as to not step on each other, but soon they get into a rhythm. Elias has rested his head on Gilles’s shoulder, while the older man feels like he’s having a revelation. Everything felt just so right. Like god has molded Elias to fit perfectly in his arms, and that Gilles was sculpted to perfectly hold Elias. It felt so good, Montagne never wanted to let go.

They danced. And danced and danced, until the music stopped. Gilles wasn’t even aware that most of the operators left, save for a few stragglers trying to get their drunk dates to a hotel room for some sleep and water. Elias still had his head buried in the space between Gilles’s neck and shoulder.

“What time is it?” he heard him mumble.

Montagne reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone.

“It’s almost one in the morning.” he said as Elias pulled away. The older man felt himself missing the contact, the cool air of the ballroom almost immediately replacing the younger man’s warmth.

“Can’t believe you made me dance past midnight.” he joked, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with a forefinger and thumb.

“Someone mentioned free hotel rooms…” Gilles murmured.

“At this point, I don’t mind paying. I don’t want to drive home.” Elias yawned.

——————————————————————-

Everyone he had talked to about the party seemingly forgot to leave out that the hotel booked one room per two guests. One room with one bed. How cliche. But at this point Montagne didn’t really care, snagging to key from the receptionist. He met up with Elias, who was sitting on a chair nearby, looking ready to pass out.

“We get a room?”

“Yes, I hope you don’t mind sharing the bed.” Gilles replied.

Elias just shook his head, stretching his arms above his head with a yawn. The two made their way out of the brightly lit lobby to a nearby hallway. Thankfully they didn’t need to go far--their room was on the first floor.

“Oh hey,” Elias perked up, stopping Gilles, “do you mind if I get a water real fast?” the younger man pointed to a closed door, the sign tacked on it read ‘Ice and Vending Machines’. Gilles let him go, waiting only a few seconds before Elias popped back out, face a lot redder than before.

“Is everything...alright?” Gilles asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Elias cleared his throat, “Ah yep! Just uh, well. Now I know just how intimate Taina and Emma are.” he stuttered.

Montagne couldn’t help but chuckle.

The room appeared before them after a minute of walking. Gilles swiped the card, clicking open the door and flicking on the nearest light. The room itself was cozy, the walls a warm tan color against a navy blue carpet. Though small, it still had a countertop with a coffee machine and mini fridge stuffed underneath. Popping it open, Gilles took out two water bottles, handing one to Elias. With a small thanks the younger man chugged it down, sighing when finished.

The two stood in the room. The tension in the air was tangible, like a static buildup. But Montagne let the feeling pass over him, and didn't want to impose on the younger man. Elias took a step forward.

“I, uh, had a really fun time tonight.” finally meeting Gilles’s eyes.

“I’m glad.” he hummed back. Elias took another step forward.

“If you wanted to do this next year, I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” he said gently, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. They were close now, barely inches away. Gilles leaned down a bit, taking in everything he could. From the wrinkles shirt, to his reddening ears and messy hair.

“And I…” he begins, but cuts himself off. Their faces are inches away, perfect for kissing.

And so they do.

It’s a step beyond incredible. Montagne hasn’t felt this elated in years. Elias’s lips are surprisingly soft and as warm as the rest of him. He tastes like champagne and chocolate, fitting for someone as sweet as him. They stay there a moment, simply enjoying the touch as they continue to kiss, Montagne winding his arms around him. After what seems like hours, they eventually part, breaths still close enough to intermingle.

Elias laughs, embracing Gilles back, “So now that we got that out of the way, can we sleep now?” he jokes tiredly.

Montagne pecks the top of his head, “Of course mon amour.”

It takes an enormous amount of effort to get to bed, neither of them wanting to move, to let go. Gilles makes the first move, taking a hand and guiding Blitz to the bed. They kick off their shoes and climb into the bed, which was thankfully big enough for the two of them. Not like it mattered--as soon as both were in bed they huddled close, Montagne wrapping an arm around Blitz’s waist, and Blitz slipping his feet between Montagne calves. They sit in silence for a moment. Gilles can feel the younger man sigh against his neck as he rubs circles in his shoulders.

“Goodnight Elias, I love you.” Montagne hums. He’s not sure if Elias hears him at first, the shorter man’s head is stuffed under his chin, until he hears him squeak a reply.

“I love you too.”

Montagne grins, letting the warmth of the other man overtake him, helping him drift to sleep.

#r6s blitz #r6s montagne #montagne/blitz #monblitz #proofread once by me and never again lol

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gra-sonas · 4 years ago

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Hey! I hate to ask this, you already do so much for us! But would you mind just a tiny recap of Vlamis’ live from last night? You don’t have to go into a ton of detail or anything, I just saw that it was a half hour long. I have a weird anxiety thing that keeps me from watching lives and stories for the most. Still haven’t even been able to work myself up to watching the vlamburn one as much as I’d love to! 🙁

Either way, thank you for everything!

Okay, nonnie. I went and watched the whole thing again and wrote you a detailed account of what’s been said. I’ll link the live again, then you can watch here if you want to. Or not. Up to you. 🤗 Hope this helps. 💕

youtube

Brushing his teeth and flossing for 3 minutes while talking.

800 new follower lately “where have you been before?”

“Do you do anything to your hair at night?” He adds Moroccan hair oil in the morning, nothing at night.

“What’s your favorite of the drop?” He hasn’t seen everything from the drop (like the COSMIC tie-dye) bc he’s in Santa Fe. He loves the COSMIC and MALEX embroidered things (“so subtle”) bc they are in Vlamburn’s handwriting, he loves the Manesqueeze shirt bc you can make Alex and Michael kiss by putting your wrists together. He *loves* the candle (there’s one burning on his bedside table), the silky PJs are great, but he can’t decide on just one favorite thing.

“How’s Jesa’s sanity?” She needs like 3 weeks of sleep. He explains, that while we *are* the Vlambase, the Vlambase merch company’s just Jesa and Vlamis. Jesa has a team, but all the day-to-day things, ideas, emails/customer service (Jesa), the newsletter (Vlamis). They hadn’t collaborated with anyone before Tyler, so working with him was a new experience.

One fan mentions how they wanted to buy stuff but couldn’t. Vlamis says that he’s been there, and when he wanted something in the past he couldn’t afford, he started putting away a Dollar a day.

“Thought on One Direction?” Vlamis is a Harry Styles guy. “Harry Styles’ swagger is next level!”

“What do you think about Russia? Will Vlambase merch be available here?” Talks a bit about how annoying things are with shipping companies, says they wanted to protect themselves for the holidays, and now that the Christmas rush is over, some shipping options have become available again.

“Who came up with MANESQUEEZE” He ponders about it, and settles on Jesa. It was Vlamis’s ides to put tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves so that they can kiss tho. And Tyler came up with the idea to put a “toupee” on his head (in a previous drop, the NEVER LOOK AWAY design had tiny Alex and tiny Michael on the sleeves, but poor Alex was bald) for the design.

Someone got a MALEX pin and the candle. He knows the pin sold out fast, and he feels bad about that. They want everyone to get everything they want, but it’s difficult to make proper calculations how well an item will sell. The pandemic made things even harder. Like the PJ sets. Normally, they would wait until the sale ends and see how many sets were actually ordered, but during the pandemic, stock listings have been changing dramatically from day to day, so they had to pre-order the PJs and robes to make sure they had a certain number at their disposal. He said that they “overshot” on a couple of things, but ultimately sales have been great, and he appreciates that.

“I’m excited to make the MANESQUEEZE doodles kiss bc I do that with the NEVER LOOK AWAY shirt” Vlamis jumps up and shows his closet that’s full of Vlambase merch items.

“Why am I here, it’s almost 3am” He mentions that he’s been staying up until 4 in the past couple of days, but he has to be on set in 7 or 8 hours.

“Hello, just wanted to let you know that I got a tattoo for you” Vlamis asks for a photo and to be tagged.

“Kyle the packer [Vlamis’s roomie KA, who works in the warehouse when a new drop is ready for shipping]” Vlamis says they’re working him to death.

“Please save this live” He doesn’t know whether he’ll save it. Thinks the one with Tyler was important, but since it’s just him, he doesn’t think it’s important.

“I followed Jesa, Jesa is the real MVP” Vlamis says that Jesa is “a beast, and best in the game”. Quickly explains who Jesa is, and that she’s his partner in the Vlambase merch company. He mentions that she recently called him with an idea for Valentine’s Day, and he was like “Jesa, we need to relax!” But she loved the idea. She’s a big fan of RNM and the characters (and Tyler). “Jesa’s amazing.”

“What about new Soli art [Soli’s the artist who created the Boys Will Be Boys art for a previous drop]?” Vlamis smiles. “What about new Soli art. I like that idea. 😏“

“Your house [in New Mexico] is so cute.” Vlamis says thank you and shows the ceiling of the house (which he likes best). “Santa Fe is dope!”

“I adore your teeth” *shows his teeth* Says he had to wear braces (some even adjustable)

“I could’ve used my birthday money to buy something but I forgot” 🤨 << Vlamis’s face. “How you you forget, man?”

“Back to Twitter after this live” He mentions that he’d just been on Twitter before the live.

He got retweeted by Mountain Dew and loves it.

“I’m from Australia and hope my merch arrives before winter” Vlamis says he hopes shipping will be fast.

“Love the Valentines” They’re not actually Valentines, hence they’re “Love Notes”. Vlamis considers doing them not just around Valentine’s Day.

“You catch any of the CW shows returning this month?” “Might have to” But he knows what he’ll be catching on the 12th. “Prodigal Son, baby!”

“Where did you get the Game Boys?” Those are his Game Boys. He has a Game Boy Advanced and a Game Boy Color.

“How do you feel about Forlex?” *scoffs* 😒 “Yeah”

“So excited for the robe!” Vlamis gets excited. “The robes and the PJs are so comfy!” Talks about how it’s a bit weird, bc they don’t make them themselves.

Several people mention that their closet looks like his closet bc of all the merch and he loves that.

“How do you feel about Forlex” *gets agitated* “Why are you asking me this? Don’t do that to me, alright?” *softer* “Don’t do that.”

“How are you doing?” He’s doing very well. Very relieved that eh sale went well. This drop was like 3-4 months of work, the night before the sale felt like an entire month, too. Jesa and Vlamis Facetimed for more than 5hrs. They set up the website, and that’s how the glitch with the GIVE ME MALEX OR GIVE ME DEATH shirts and poster happened. They made a mistake and only noticed after the website went live.

“Do you know when S3 will air?” No, he thought it might’ve been sooner, but apparently not.

“I love your poetry from the last drop so why no poems this time?” He writes poems when he’s inspired, he hasn’t written a poem in a while. He’s currently preparing to direct his first movie in June 2021, and he’s been very focused on that.

“The Meet & Greet day changed.” Filming schedule changed bc they had snow, the schedule’s changing constantly. He’ll be set all day tomorrow (well, today, Jan 11) from 8am until 8 or 9pm. Sometimes they might even wake up in the morning and learn that the schedule’s been changed.

“You could talk about nothing and we’d still watch.” He doesn’t want to talk about nothing, wonders if anyone has any questions about the sale.

“I’m so excited about the robe. I was going to buy more but I’m broke.” He says we should be responsible.

Someone’s still waiting about their Black Friday stuff, but he says it’s the shipping company, not them.

“Vlamentines" He *loves* that, thinks it’s a good pun.

“Gotta support Aurora.” Always. 🥰

“Jealous Guerin in S3?” You’ll see, you’ll see.

“I placed 3 orders, last one last night. Give me Malex or give me death.” He loves it. He also mentions, that they’re working hard on figuring out how to combine orders in the future so people don’t have to pay for shipping several times. They just can’t do that logistically at the moment.

“Real talk, how often do you check your DMs?” He says, that some people might’ve noticed that he occasionally likes random photos on people’s IG pages. When that happens, it’s a sign that he read someone’s DM. He feels bad when he checks his mentions with a delay, and people’s stories have already vanished after 24hours. He sometimes doesn’t get to checking DMs for a week.

“Will we ever get the original pic of the kiss recreation?” *smiles* *waggles his eyebrows* “Maybe in the morning”

“So happy the Trevor Project was chosen for this merch drop!” He’s very happy, too. According to him, it was a no-brainer. Tyler’s worked with them in the past, so it made even more sense. They wanted to make sure that Tyler felt very strongly about wherever they’d be donating.

People urge him to go to sleep. “You want me to go to bed?”

“Why is your merch not available in India?” *deep breath* “It should be, it’s ridiculous. Unbelievable.”

“Your poetry was awesome.” He appreciates the praise and promises to write some more poetry.

Someone asks whether the movie he’ll be directing in June will be a comedy, but he says it’s the opposite. He’s mentioned in the past that Aurora and him will both act in the movie, but apparently he forgot about that. He doesn’t want to jinx the movie and doesn’t know how much he should reveal just yet. Talks a bit about 5 Years Apart.

Someone mentions that it’s Jeanine’s birthday on January 14th.

“Do (or don?) a face mask, Vlamis.” He refuses. Mentions his friend and roommate Spencer Waldner, who makes face masks.

“If there’s leftover merch, will you do another sale?” He says that most things are actually sold out bc they use Blank Clo’s blanks and will only make what’s been ordered. They might try to restock some pins tho, bc they went so quickly.

“USPS are a joke” He defends them. “They’re a public service, they’re trying hard, guys.”

“You should do a Vlambase drop with the Real Vlamis [a.k.a. Jeanie]” He’s excited and thinks it’s a good idea and asks if anyone’d be interested.

Someone congratulates him on directing his first movie. He points out that he’s directed before (Making It, a 3-part web series, it’s on YouTube).

“Would you ever come to Australia Comic Con?” He’d love to. Mentions that he’s supposed to be in Paris in May for a convention, but he’s not sure whether that’s gonna happen considering how things are currently going with the pandemic.

Some more talk about 5 Years Apart.

Circles back to doing a merch drop with Jeanine. People like the idea.

“Please save this live.” After an IG update, things have changed and he doesn’t know how to do it. In the past he had the option to save it [for 24hrs], now he can only upload it to IGTV.

“$30 shipping to Australia hurts my soul but I did it anyway.” He appreciates that and mentions, that he lived in Australia for 6 months in the past.

“Sing some Bright Eyes” He thinks his singing would hurt people’s ears.

Jesa Joy pops up in the chat and urges him to go to bed.

“Jesa is yelling at you.” Vlamis says that Jesa’s a “yeller”, and that she has a tattoo that says “Don’t yell tho”. He admits that Jesa often yells for a good reason. “I need to be yelled at sometimes.”

Someone asks him to accept a request to join his live. He says he’s pretty tired.

He says hello to someone from Germany (not me btw :P) “What’s up, Germany ✌️”

More people ask him to sing, but he says he cannot sing. He says it’s not like a joke or him being modest, he straight up can’t sing and is a horrible singer.

“Will there be a sequel to 5 Years Apart?” Maybe a sequel called “10 Years Apart” (he’s joking and visibly tired)

“Should I buy anything before the sale ends?” Yes.

Jesa Joy’s from Michigan, and Vlamis’s grandma’s from Middlesborough, Kentucky.

“Is Tyler singing again?” He doesn’t know. “I hope so. Love that kid’s voice” (Tyler’s 3.5 years older than Vlamis :P)

He’s getting sleepy and will read a little bit before bed. Considers drinking some Mountain Dew.

“Do you take design ideas.” Sure. Sometimes he sees design ideas from people they’ve been working on for months, but he’s gonna “steal” an idea from someone, he’ll tell them. He’ll steal it, though.

“Are you still reading SAGA?” He read the first one and is half-way through the second. He’s currently reading a book called “My First Movie” by Stephen Lowenstein. “How cliché.” Aurora got it for him.

Purple Skittles are his favorite. Purple everything.

“Your girlfriend’s the best girlfriend.” She is, she really is.

Asks Jesa Joy whether he should go to bed now.Even though it’s late, he’s hungry. Considers eating something. People tell him to go to bed.

He asks “Should I get naked and put on the PJs?” *waggles eyebrows* “I’M KIDDING, YOU’RE SICK. YOU’RE ALL DISGUSTING.” xD

“Don’t eat!” He laughs.

Says goodbye and says that Jesa’s posted a surprise picture.

“Any advice for aspiring actors?” Tells them to make their own stuff bc no one’s gonna hire them. (He’s being sarcastic). “It’s dark, but it’s what you need to hear.”

“Okay, love you guys. Thank you again! It was our best sale yet. Means a lot to me. Means a lot to Tyler. Us doing so well might mean that Tyler will work with us again. So I really appreciate it. Okay, I love you all.”

Jesa promises to post the pic in 4 minutes. He’s excited. “See, I got her to do it! The picture is kind of ridiculous.”

*pretends to take off his shirt, stops halfway through* “Noooooo, noooooo, noooooo!”

*throws kiss* “Love you guys, good night.”

#michael vlamis #vlambase #mgv ig #mgv interviews #nonnie asks

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