#we have rules about how much they can do but my bad guys won't aim for them unprovoked

[leftmysoulbythesideoftheroad]

i’ve watched a few different dnd shows now and concluded that oxventure is still my favorite and also that johnny chiodini is still the dm i most look up to. not to say they're better or worse than other dms, they just have a style i love that i want to imitate in my own games

[bloopitynoot]

Reading TGCF: Chapter One

For those who don't know, I am reading TGCF for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag Bloopitynoot reads TGCF. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read BUT if you followed along with my SVSSS read, the rules and vibe are the same.

We begin chapter one with a blueberry jasmine tea!

I will say that tomorrow I probably wont be posting a chapter. My mom and sister are visiting my partner and I for the holidays tonight and staying until Sunday afternoon, so I likely won't be able to read until Sunday.

Anyways, send good luck my way because we are likely going to play a vicious game of monopoly.

Let's go chapter 1!!

okay, my assumptions going in was that this was a very serious series about tough trials and hardships but here we are starting this chapter with XIe Lian taking "first place on the chart of Heavenly Officials Most Hoped to be Banished Down to the Mortal Realm". This is kind of camp. is this the series energy??? p23

omg they literally made the chart for him p24

RIP that bell. had a good run. pp24-25

I can't lol. this poor guy. If things are there that shouldn't be- Xie Lian's fault. If there are things missing that should be there- also Xie LIan's fault. How does a single guy cause so much damage? p25

Okay this is an open question to anyone. I am confused about this merit system. I totally understand that gods get merits based on worships/offerings/beliefs/temples whatever. What I do not understand is how a god gets points from a martial god kicking his ass? p26

This is so real. Bro forgot the password p27

not them placing bets on how long he'll last this time. This is so funny p27

these deities are so rude to him! He's just trying to apologize and they are so condescending. I love an underdog though so I'm rooting for this man. p29

Oh shit okay. I take back my previous contempt. This was the guy hit by the bell. p29

aaaaand we have the added salt that these two know each other previously. Xuan Zhen/Mu Qing being from Xianle Palace as well. pp30-31

Bless Ling Wen for keeping this man in check. Honestly best Heavenly Handler p32

Jesus. It's as though Xie Lian is in a room talking to all his exes. This is so awkward! Nan Yang/Feng Xin also being from Xianle Palace p33

Why am I so nervous about Xie Lian going on this mission??? Bro has 0 power, 0 respect, and attracts bad luck like nobody's business. p38

omg. even the clouds are against this man; causing a three day delay in his travels for blowing him the wrong way basically. Truly the god of misfortune. p39

Well. At least he has some help now? Nan Feng and Fu Yao. Also I am curious about the butterflies? Do we find out more? Is it a heavenly official thing? because if it is, that's cute. pp41-42

The name change from Lower Court to Middle Court is so funny to me. This is some pure bureaucratic drama, like 10/10 would see this in an office. Honestly this realm would make such a solid office/workplace au. pp42-43

Oop. Nothing like your support being from the palaces that absolutely hate you. p43

Well at least they are both here as "willing" volunteers and their generals don't know they are actually there. I do however sense some shenanigans due to this pp43-45

Oh Wait! This mission sounds so rad! A bride eating monster?!?!?!? I can't wait p45

Strong start!

I already have so many questions that I am going to assume will be answered somewhere between now and the other seven books BUT I am so ready. We already got a workplace drama, an exciting mission, and this adorably useless little man trying his best. I cannot wait for chapter two!

[imonthemoonitsmadeofcheese]

Hello! Me again, back to pester you about lore.

So what's going on with The Drifter? For once I know a little about the character, I read 'A Man With No Name', but I still have questions. From how the book read, Drifter convinced Felwinter to get revenge for the destruction of the village. Did that go anywhere? And what did Drifter get up to for the (unspecified very long) timeskip between the book and the game?

And with the modern day, does the Vanguard know he's running a fighting ring out of the basement? Or does every single guardian look away when Zavala tries figuring out where people keep getting these weapons? I guess first rule of fight club and all that. What's he even trying to do? He seems to be pretty against most of the Vanguard's leadership.

Anyway, another invitation to infodump about your other blorbo. I hope you don't mind XD

If you thought I was long-winded about Eris... She's maybe 400 years old whereas the Drifter may be 900... get comfy... this will not be quick.

"Dark Age was wild times."

I adore the Drifter and a good chunk of how and why I adore him is his voice - both the voice acting and the syntax/diction/phrasing used in the writing, but voice alone does not cover why I find his character so utterly enthralling and fantastic.

I wrote a short piece consisting of Eris telling Ikora what she sees in him in my story Finders Keepers. It's basically a personality analysis and some people have (I think probably accurately) accused it of being a love letter to that character. (Reminder: that link is fanfiction - I wrote it - it is not lore, but it is based on lore. However, everything else I list after this is actual lore.)

But, personality aside, ultimately the Drifter's story is what I find most compelling about him and makes him so empathetic. You mentioned you've read A Man with No Name, but there's more. A lot more.

To start, the Drifter is D2's most violent pacifist.

He doesn't want to fight and when he does, it's vicious. The Emissary of the Nine, formerly Orin (his ex-best friend and/or ex-lover, depending upon how you read it) aptly says "He hates violence. He hates it so much he'll murder anyone who tries to inflict it on him."

In A Man with No Name, we see him go from hiding in a town and having it obliterated by warlords, to running a bar at the bottom of Felwinter peak, to getting Lord Felwinter himself to avenge the town. Drifter doesn't fight anywhere in there and gets other people to do his fighting for him, which is a pretty standard tactic for him. And yes, it is strongly implied that Felwinter does indeed murder the fuck out of Lord Dryden when he says "Call Lord Dryden. Prepare my Iron Banner arsenal."

But then we get Dark Age Drifter entries where he's gunning down Fallen attackers with quotes like "He had never brought himself to shoot a human. Or anything even resembling a human. Risen included." (Bonus mention: notice "Alright" repeated here and compare to his standard Gambit opening of Alright, alright, alright...") Where he's slipping away from non-violence, specifying, in particular, that he won't shoot a human but will defend himself from aliens.

And then he becomes something else entirely in these amazing entries with what I've been calling his Breakneck crew:

Now Otto's a Sword man. He's all about "craft." Technique. Precision. It's disgusting, but I don't care how he does it, as long as it gets done, so I just let him do it. And Otto does it so beautifully that, when he's done, you're standing there holding your guts in your hands and thanking him for the show.

Never touches a gun, that girl. She likes to get close. Likes to look right in their eyes and be the last thing they see.

The chumps that run out to stop us are babies. That's the kicker with Warlords—other than ours, there's not a Ghost in sight here. Just civilians who can barely hold their guns without wetting their pants, who can't aim worth a damn, who stick their necks out for the bad guys with eternal life. Real geniuses.

Cenric stood up. That vein of his looked about ready to pop. Drifter let his feet down as he reached for his rifle, asp-quick. "And you know what we do with rats, don't you, brother."

And the thing I love about this is the character development this speaks to where he goes from pacifist who won't fight at all... to someone who will use a machine gun competently, repeating "Alright" and getting himself used to killing, but not humans, never humans... to stone cold vicious murder-Drifter talking about the lightless who die to his crew in ways that make them (and himself) seem no longer human, to gunning down his own crew, people he felt were a perfect team, when they make deals with warlords behind his back and lie to him about it.

The Drifter started out adhering to an ideal of nonviolence and it destroyed him and everyone he cared for. His sense of self, his principles, everything he believed in is eroded until he completely loses all hope and in order to survive the cruelty of the world he lives in he becomes a ruthless monster.

Either before or after his Breakneck-era crew (it's not clear), the Drifter (under the name Eli) joins the Pilgrim Guard, a group of Titans protecting lightless people as they travel to the Last City. He does this out of a desire/need to be near Orin, a Titan with a complicated past and strong ties to both Queen Mara and the Nine. But then after spending time with Eli/Drifter and the Pilgrim Guard, Orin, the one person Drifter's ever had a deep human connection with, the person he considers his best friend, leaves without a word.

It's very telling that the green snakes, the jade coin, and the red string on those same coins that form such profound parts of the Drifter's symbolism and identity all come from Orin. When the Drifter truly cares for someone, he incorporates part of them into himself, into his identity, making them part of who he becomes, so they live on inside of him.

After his time with Orin, we get into the extremely confusing, contradictory mess that is the Drifter's intersection with Shin Malfur-related Rose/Thorn/Lumina lore. And by this I mean that the Drifter, after fighting alongside people doing genuinely noble good work, in the wake of losing Orin, leaves the Pilgrim Guard and eventually ends up joining the evil cult of evil: following in the footsteps of one of the most reviled risen to ever exist - the guardian-killer: Dredgen Yor.

If you're gonna hang with me, you need to know about the Shadows of Yor. They follow the edicts of a very bad man named Dredgen Yor. And what're his Shadows after? Everything the Light can't provide. I thought they could help me find an answer to the battles of Light versus Light that raged during the Dark Age. But the longer I flew with them, the more I saw they're blind as all those who follow the Traveler. One albatross for another. I was done with 'em.

And while in the cult, in some sort of ritual, he communes with the Darkness directly and gets some sort of Darkness powers (possibly Stasis, possibly something else - it's super unclear) and the Darkness whispers to him his Dredgen name: Dredgen Hope, which is particularly brutal in context with this quote from Dredgen Yor himself:

I care only to give hope to the frightened, huddled masses so that when I come upon them they will have more to lose. Their pain will be greater. Their screams more pure… Nothing dies like hope. I cherish it.

But it is also particularly pointed because hope is the thing the Drifter doesn't have. Trust is the thing he doesn't have the ability to do any more because of his experiences (and is also the name of the hand cannon he wears shoved into his pants). He is the most jaded (literally - constantly fidgeting with a jade coin) character in the D2 universe. He loses everything and leans in on it and follows that path to full evil.

And then he walks away. Because evil doesn't work for him either.

But also (either before or after he's completely left the cult - it's ambiguous, but possibly when he's still entangled but it's already fracturing and falling apart) he finds Orin again (he's using the name Wu Ming at this point - either having returned to it, or because he hasn't changed it yet from Felwinter Peak, or perhaps this happens before Felwinter Peak - the order and timeline is somewhat fuzzy).

Orin does not remember who he is when he finds her the second time (she's pretty nuts at this point - her story is filled with madness and tragedy), and is going insane with grief over losing Namqi (the person she left with when she disappeared the first time) as well as her obsession with the Nine. And the Drifter is once more drawn to her and once more connects deeply with her:

Wu Ming leaves his questions by the wayside as he is drawn inexorably into the gravity well of her desperate honesty. Her confessions lower his defenses. He talks of himself. Of his fear. Of his loneliness. How he feels he is one fingernail away from plummeting into an abyss. How he feels vicious resentment every time he is brought back from the dead: He never asked for the gift of the Light... They make excuse after excuse to meet again. Every conversation is colored by excavated truths; every day they feel they will reach some bedrock that will break them to pieces. It is as frightening as it is intoxicating.

But then Orin finds out about him being a Dredgen, terminates their relationship, goes off to become the Emissary of the Nine and, as someone I was talking with once referred to it: 'it was a breakup so bad he had to leave the solar system.'

Things go very poorly the first time the Drifter loses Orin but the second time is far worse. He has a full-on Lovecraftian 'At the Mountains of Madness' style horror-movie-plot experience with a crew he calls his 'best friends' (which may or may not be all ex-Dredgens but there's at least evidence they might be) out on a frozen planet being stalked and driven to insane levels of paranoia by Darkness creatures able to snuff out their light:

I think I mentioned we're all raving psychos at this point. Well, we did what all measured raving psychos would do. We thought we each had been betrayed by the others. We drew on each other.

The Drifter kills them all to keep them from killing him (at least, that's what he says - no one else is alive to argue). Then his ghost, who up until now has been kind of a moralistic asshole, suggests he hunt down the ghosts of his former crew and Frankenstein them together in order to survive:

And the craziest thing happened. My Ghost snapped... But we would need parts. Ghost parts. And we knew where we could get some... The Ghosts of my former crew all fled as soon as their charges hit the dirt. So me'n mine, we hunted them... "Hey. There's always hope. For what it's worth, I'm proud of you." It was the last thing my Ghost ever said, and the last lie it ever told.

The Drifter's ghost is rendered mute from the experience (either mechanically or due to the trauma of hunting down and murdering other ghosts - it's not clear) but the plan works, they survive, and the Drifter builds the Derelict out of scrap, returning to the Tower where he sets up Gambit.

It's super unclear (again, the Shin-related lore is just a mess and deliberately confusing) but it turns out that Drifter going on about how the Man with the Golden Gun is out to get him is actually a deal he made with Shin to set up Gambit (because, spoiler: the leader of the entire Dredgen cult, Dredgen Vale, turns out to be none other than Shin Malphur, the Man with the Golden Gun, who hunts Dredgens and who the Drifter has been saying is out to get him this entire time) to draw out the truly Darkness-corrupted guardians so Shin can kill them. (And this is ultimately why the Vanguard lets him run a fighting ring in the basement - because Shin convinces them it will help find the truly bad guardians so they can be eliminated).

If you find that confusing, that's because it is. Anything to do with Shin Malphur/Dredgen Yor/Rose/Thorn/Lumnia is pretty much an acid-trip, continuity-wise. It hurts my brain.

As for where the Drifter gets the weapons he gives us for Gambit? To the surprise of no one, he's stealing them. Because of course he is. It's him.

While running Gambit, he ends up visited by the Emissary of the Nine (formerly Orin - same body, different person) and has the Haul attached to the Derelict as a 'gift' in this amazing cutscene: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wFtmr___dSw

And he pretty much stays in "shifty morally ambiguous guy in the basement" mode until Arrivals when the pyramids show up on Io and we get one of my favourite lore tabs in all of D2: Whispering slab.

The two sit. They speak. They listen. Linkages forged in Light and Dark of traded secrets as the Derelict hangs in orbit around the Earth. Pacts are made. Soon, there is only the silence of knowing left between them.

"Next time you fly over the Moon, dust your boots. Tracking that crap all over my floors."

Both of the Drifter's deep emotional entanglements with Orin happen when he really genuinely talks to her, and now in Whispering Slab, he's genuinely talking to someone else, plus we get the origin of why he calls that someone else Moondust.

Then, during Arrivals, we get the amazing banter between him and Eris, and in Beyond Light they learn to control Stasis together with the result being (in my highly subjective opinion) the best cutscene in all of D2 : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQAB-sSi6P0

At the end of Haunted we get Eris' message to him about healing and finding joy , he has this line in Plunder "What we do now matters more than who we were", we end up with the Kept Confidence lore tab during Season of the Witch where the person who previously insisted he trusted no one now is saying: "He didn't trust them. He trusted her" and then in the Gloaming Journeyer tab, he pulls her into a hug and reminds her of what she told him once (in the Prophesy dungeon dialogue): "That we'll live in the night if we have to. We do it for what comes after." (What comes after is dawn, hope, the continuance of existence after the darkest point.)

Someone in a chat I was in once summed up the core dynamic of the Drifter and Eris' relationship perfectly as "He gives her trust. She gives him hope."

There are people online who are very frustrated with the Drifter's character development, feeling that the Drifter has 'had his teeth filed off' and that he 'got his depression cured by getting a goth girlfriend' but I feel that's just people who don't like change. The Drifter has, throughout his entire storyline been constantly changing who he is. Change is part of his many self-constructed identities which he re-creates over and over as his old sense of self is destroyed and remade. Gritty vicious Drifter is still in there and he will be just as brutal as ever if he needs to be.

He doesn't want to be, though. He never has. And as someone who deals with medical-grade depression and who found themselves in a situation where they needed to reconstruct a sense of self to replace the one that was lost, the Drifter finding a way to hope and trust again after all he's been through is an extremely powerful and poignant narrative which speaks to me on many levels.

It's not trite, thoughtless happy fluffy rainbows, friendship-fixes-everything-whee! It's painful and slow and beautiful as the Drifter learns to have healthy relationships with other people. We need stories like this to speak to us at an unconscious level and tell us that even if you're not Eris Morn and you failed, and you gave up, and you didn't make it out of the Hellmouth, and you in fact gave in to despair and completely lost all hope, your experience erasing who it was you were and having that old you replaced with someone else, you can still find hope again. Even if you've been burned so severely by so many, many, negative human interactions that you cannot trust anyone, if you find the right people, you can slowly learn how to trust again.

The Drifter's story has been called a redemption arc, and I guess in a way it is that too but, for me, the essential quality of the Drifter's narrative isn't redemption: it's healing.

Stories have power. We incorporate them into who we are. Dredgen Hope ultimately does live up to his name. Within D2 he is finally starting to heal. I find that idea, of healing in spite of being so altered by one's experiences as to have had to become an entirely different person in order to survive, of being unable to trust and still finding a way to learn how to trust again, to be important and beautiful to have in my subconscious as something to draw from. It is a story that is very much needed by a lot of people. We need to be reminded that we can be irrevocably changed and have everything taken from us and still find a way to trust and hope and love again. That might seem a bit much for a shooty game, but I maintain this is why D2 has some of the best storytelling of any game I've ever played and that the character of the Drifter is a huge part of what makes that storytelling so compelling.

Sorry this took so long to answer. This seriously was as short as I could make it and still say everything that I felt needed to be said. There's more, and more detail, of course, but this is my treatise on why the Drifter is as awesome as I think he is.

That is all.

[mainstoryarchive]

Ensemble - 104: Impatience

Subaru: Over here!?

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Location: 2nd Floor Passage

Subaru: Over here!?

…Not there either. Damn you Ukki, where are you? Come on out, your parents would cry if they saw you like this! I'm also almost on the verge of crying!

Crap, the DreamFes will seriously start in just a little bit! I'm starting to hear instruments and singing voices, I don't have the time to be doing this either!

No, I can't become weak-willed! I'm gonna save Ukki and go back to the stage where the transfer student is waiting!

And then Trickstar will win the DDD!

Dreams should be big! Limitless! I won't give up until the moment I have grasped it all!

…I'm strangely high spirited, if I do say so myself.

You get hyped up when you run around, don't you? My whole body is warming up ☆

Ah, this isn't the time to be enjoying myself. At this rate I'll seriously run out of time, I have to hurry! Where are you, Ukki?

Oh, I got a message from Sakuma-senpai.

Ahaha, I guess senpai's bad with smartphones and the like? All his words are slurred[1] together like one long word! How cute ♪

Hm? When it's slurred like this it's hard to read… Hmmm?

Hmm. The general rules of the DDD state that you have to be a unit to participate. A unit needs to have a minimum of two members to exist…?

In other words, if the minimum two members are not present on the stage, they won't be recognized as a unit and will be failed?

Wah, crap! Trickstar right now only has the transfer student, one person, on stage!

This means that if I don't go back on stage we'll automatically fail, right?

Ahhh, why can't things go well on both sides! What should I do now?

In the worst case I'll have to give up on Ukki and return to the stage! Losing before even having a chance to fight is just too much!

Shit! Those guys from Knights, especially Sakuma-senpai's little brother! I thought he was awfully generous, the reason he told me all that was all for this?

Those guys are aiming for a win by default! If I don't get to the stage like this, they will win without having to spend any effort!

Those guys are so cunning! I just can't stomach it! I'll make sure to turn this adversity on its head! I'll make both Knights and the president admit defeat!

I'm gonna do my best ☆

Izumi: You over there, you're being noisy!

Unlike normal S1s, the DDD doesn't require students to watch from their classrooms, right?

Everyone has blended in with the normal audience and is watching outside, so just why are you wandering around inside the school building?

How irritating… You're an eyesore, so go away. I'm in a bad mood right now, so who knows what I could do to you.

Subaru: (Wah, what's with this guy? This doesn't look good!)

(This is our first meeting, right? Why does he so obviously throw his malice at me full blast?)

(No, I can't back down now! Time's precious, right now I need to try my utter best to find Ukki!)

Uhm, excuse me! Have you seen Ukki anywhere around here?

Izumi: Ukki…? What? A monkey? If it's a monkey you're searching for then you just have to look in a mirror, you're wearing a really dumb face.

Rather than that… Ah! Hmm…?

I thought I'd seen your face somewhere before. You're Yuu-kun's acquaintance, Trickstar's Subaru Akehoshi, right?

Can you afford to loaf around in a place like this? Trickstar's first opponent is Knights, isn't it? If you don't give it all you've got it won't even be a challenge, you know?

Even if I'm not there, everyone in Knights is an outstanding idol individually.

And even though we joined together only out of self-interest, our skill is top-class in this school.

Being unaware of their own situation, the foolish and idiotic Trickstar… For real, I wonder just what Yuu-kun likes so much about these guys.

Subaru: … …

When you're saying Yuu-kun, do you mean Ukki?

I somehow figured it out. You're the good-for-nothing guy in Knights who confined Ukki somewhere, aren't you?

Where did you hide Ukki, give him back! I won't hesitate to punch you to get Ukki back depending on your answer!

He's my friend! He's my precious comrade!

Izumi: Hmm. How immature, so annoying!

Hey, this isn't a game. Idols are merchandise… If you do something stupid it won't end if you just blame it on youthfulness.

You have to think rationally and calmly. Is it better for Yuu-kun's future to be a part of Knights or Trickstar?

Even a child would know which is better. Why can't either you nor Yuu-kun understand that?

Subaru: Shut up! I don't care, so just bring out Ukki! You seaweed-head!

Which one is better and which road to take all depends on Ukki! He should decide that for himself!

If Ukki himself thinks he doesn't want to walk side to side with us anymore, I'll respect that! I'd even cheer him on, but that isn't the case, is it?!

If you're ignoring his will and forcing him to listen to what you're saying…! I won't forgive that! I will protect the light in his soul!

We, Trickstar, will become the place where his smile can blossom!

[ ☆ ]

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Rei writes everything in hiragana. With only hiragana, interpunction is terrible so it's hard to know when words start and end. In English. it would be like if he used no spaces or commas.

[meshaamem-li]

ok but like, you know they're not the only people to do it, right?

they're not making a game for the art, not in the same way Dungeon Meshi is made, who - while I'm not familiar with the creator - I assume is working alone or in a small team and is very passionate about her story. genshin is making a game to sell, that is and will always be their primary objective.

you know who else does this? almost every single franchise that is designed to sell. look at my little pony, modern Disney princess movies, isekai anime since the success of SAO, they all share the same problem, because they're developed with profits in mind first, and quality second. does it mean their quality is trash? no, I think mlp is very high quality, especially for a show aimed at young girls, every time a disney documentary comes out about the process of making a movie, you can feel the passion of the writers pouring from every corner of the studio, their main issue is always time restraints, and the first half of the first season of SAO was actually not that bad! it wasn't that good, but it wasn't the hot trash that is its imitations!

it might be hard to remember, since we're getting spoiled left and right by talented creators who are finally getting the opportunity to share their creations with the world, but it's only until recently that we got the chance to see diverse casts in our media. when I was growing up, seeing a dark skinned character was reserved to only the occasional token black guy, asian people were always stereotypes, Jewish characters were just white people with a bar mitzvah, and muslim characters didn't exist anywhere near kids media. anime would always be the default light skinned characters, dark skinned characters didn't exist or were racist stereotypes. we are so blessed to have culturally diverse characters in our media now, and it's only the beginning.

genshin designs are made to sell, there's no arguing that, they're going for the most "visually appealing" body types, best and most colourful designs they can think of, and character kits that more often than not get their use in the meta (unless you're a dori or xinyan fan). their designs follow a few loose rules, like how a character should usually be colored like their element, and their backside is usually more important than their front due to it being seen by the player more. there is a lot of criticism from their audience over some of the male designs being feminine (can't remember if it was the Chinese audience, the korean, or both, but there was a lot of criticism over Lyney's femboyish design), they're pushing a lot of boundaries with the Chinese government as well.

but back to the point, since the main concern is money, adding large ears, large nose, etc, is a potential financial loss first, and an interesting design feature second. if the character doesn't sell, then what's the point of releasing it? and about the skin, I won't lie, I think the main reason is racism. idk if it's from the company, parts of the audience, or something else, but they don't like releasing people of color, also it doesn't seem they get the best kits either. would people of color sell? in the west probably, with people of color almost definitely, can't speak for eastern audiences but it seems like some of them already hate every character that isn't a big titty lady. we don't actually know if poc will sell more overall, but white already sells, so the safe bet is go for slightly tanned white-if-you-squint depends on the context type characters.

and you know why that hurts so much? because they do such a great job with representing cultures that aren't their own! they do their research! people really enjoy seeing their culture on screen! the only insulting part is how the characters just lack a little bit of melanin. 10-20 years ago this game would be praised for its representation, but the standards are higher today.

idk man, tldr: genshin isn't unique with their cookie cutter designs, and it's something that happens when you start a project with the goal of profit. it doesn't make them evil.

What’s your thoughts on Delicious in Dungeons Character Designs?

Ryoko Kui is the best to ever do it.

[onemattwolf]

trying to calm my anxiety but it's hard cus i ran out of my anti- anxiety meds yesterday and this was my first day off of them for awhile. I want to talk out the anxiety but feel like i don't want to bother my friends with this because it's stupid. So just gonna rant on tumblr instead.

Why do i seem particularly bad at hook ups? People seem to have fun. I have fun. But i don't often get a second time with someone even if it's talked about being a regular thing. Do i message too soon after? Why are there rules around that? I did send an anxiety tinged message to the guy today which i kind of regret. Not about any of this really, just apologized for being weird about kissing. Which feels like a dumb message to send in hindsight, but I have noticed that people usually pick up on it kind of fast. i tend to try and redirect stuff when there's lots of tongue involved, and i dunno i was feeling really anxious without my meds and i thought i'd alleviate by bringing that up in a haha funny way. But instead it got me left on read and goooood it's just dumb.

And it's not like we clicked phenomenally? But enough that starting up a casual fwb thing seemed like a good deal. Sex was great. i kind of read him as being a kind of picky guy so i'm assuming i did something that didn't meet his standards, which is annoying but you can only be so picky when looking for hook ups?

God. I just hate that i run into this pattern. Why do i put people off? It seems like everything i try, being really chill, not messaging for awhile, trying to match the persons tone. I'm doing something wrong. They message back a couple times then ghost when i ask if they want to do that again.

And I don't want to kick myself here. Sure i could be tearing it apart going over what I did "wrong," and the main reason why i didn't message my friends to talk through this is they'd do the same. They'd knit pick the situation and tell me what major social flub I made which is why I won't get a second hook up.

But my point is, it *shouldn't* be like that to pass through a simple social situation, I shouldn't need to learn a whole new sets of social rules and queues to navigate hook up culture? I aim for being my usual friendly self with added flirtiness, which some how is the wrong call. And fuck i'm just going in circles and i really wish i could talk to someone about this without knowing i'd be critiqued on this shit.

Sometimes i really hate being autistic because just people knowing that gives them so much room to scrape through my social interactions and tell me i did something wrong. Even other neurodiverse people do this, actually especially so. Because they were taught to be so scrupulous about their own interactions, they do it to others really badly.

I just don't want to be told i fucked something up that really shouldn't be so easy to fuck up? But maybe that's just childish of me, but i wish i didn't feel like i had to question all of my actions and wonder what little thing i did that put someone off. Because it's not like it'd actually help me next time because everyone is different. i remove all the "bad" actions i did this time, would still fall into the same situation

[escape-rock-bottom]

Journal #24 - Afraid to Look Dumb?: Fearing Failure (Discomfort Challenge Journal)

I have never met a single person who actually likes feeling dumb or failing or being rejected. I have, however, witnessed the leaps and bounds a person will take to save face and uphold their intelligence. I have been that person too (What? You didn't just see me fail an across the room trash basket free throw. It was the fan that threw my aim off, bro.)

If there's one thing I can say for certain, feeling like an absolute dejected dingus is one of the most humiliating feelings a person can experience. We hate that so much that we will lie and bend rules to avoid it. We will even go as far as not even trying while touting our abilities to do it, claiming we just don't feel like it right now. The behavior varies, but there's some way you personally avoid looking dumb or being turned away.

For most people, they will procrastinate or make up an excuse. Others simply don't bother to take action. They never ask for that promotion or for that date, they never try to play a sport they find interesting but have never played themselves. They don't want to be imperfect and look like a silly little monkey because of the fear of 

Personally, I'm the guy to make it out to be an intentional joke when I fail majorly. It lets me not take it to heart and internalize it as a "whoops that sucked" kind of thing. While it's a great way to manage the feelings surrounding the failure, my big problem is that I don't even bother to try until I know every little detail going in so I lessen my chance of failure. Basically, I plan my actions to avoid failure.

The shortfall with that is obvious: most things take practical practice to get to the point you don't fail miserably. Planning it out or reading every single tip and trick out there regarding it won't even give me the experience needed to get good at the thing I'm set to try. That isn't to say educating yourself to prepare yourself is a bad thing. It's a pointless thing if you don't plan to engage in the practical side of the activity. 

I also really hate looking dumb. It sucks big time. I'm not a fan of failing and being laughed at or having it pointed out as if I didn't notice or the whole world really cares about it. It's a residual anxiety from a history of sucky people hammering it into my head that I had to be perfect and omniscient or risk being ridiculed in some fashion (thanks for that, people in my past. Lol)

I realized these tendencies of mine and I decided that I would set a discomfort challenge to specifically kick myself in the stern (boat pun intended) and learn to take action on things that'll potentially make me look like a big ol' doofus if I fail trying it. How could I possibly succeed at my goals if I won't even take the dive and try in the first place? 

Yeah. It was difficult. I figured out a system thanks to some advice from people on how to handle the fear of failure and rejection. Once I began practicing, it got a little easier. I still don't enjoy feeling like I look like an idiot in front of people, but I hold onto my desire to learn new things which automatically comes with failure. 

We are all human. Regardless of where we're from or who we identify ourselves as, we are socially driven. We tend to like approval and we love looking like we know what we're doing. The honest truth is we really are just making it up as we go along. We don't know everything, we can't do everything, we can't come up with solutions every time, and we definitely can't look flawless and well put together 24/7 year round. We're imperfect creatures who try and fail and learn, and you should embrace your humanity. 

Perfection is an impossible standard to live by.

[bill-y]

𝐈𝐍𝐔𝐑𝐄

Peeta mellark x male reader

We all know who Katniss Everdeen is, but what if Primrose hadn’t been chosen but another boy from another unfortunate family? YOUR family.

Info: This is basically a reader insert and I’ve changed a few rules, not ground breaking though. The reader is a bit bland for now but I plan for his actions to be different. Because he has different moral grounds from Katniss and such. Would appreciate feedback! FEEL FREE TO POINT OUT TYPOS. GRAMMARLY SOMETIMES DOESN’T DO MY DYSLEXIC ASS JUSTICE

Part one: Over there, buddy

Part two:You’re here right now. :)

Part three: Click here, pepperoni salami.

Wattpad account: L0calxDumbass

I separated with Gale and Katniss for a while, telling them I needed air. I sighed, leaping from branch to branch in the thicket of trees. Bread, not just bread, baker's bread. If I'm lucky I could get just enough squirrels for the baker, he had a taste for it but his wife was much of a witch, so he only buys it when she's not around.

I remembered how she found me stealing some burnt bread from the trashcan. I looked at her with wide eyes, frozen, I thought I was going to die, stealing was punishable for death, after all. But she just let me go, screaming about her frustration of Seams picking through her trash.

I got bread that day either way.

I landed on a sturdy branch, spotting a squirrel on the tree adjacent to me; it was quite huge, I'm sure he'd love this. Let's just hope the witch isn't home by the time I give this to him.

I crouched down, still as a statue as I watched the squirrel run up and down the tree. I pulled out the thin, glistening dagger, unwrapping its course, leather bindings, which became a makeshift thin rope. I felt my eyes unconsciously widen,  watching the squirrel's movements.

My arm aimed, then with a simple flick, the dagger whistled through the air. The small creature was then pinned to the bark of the tree through its eyes. The dagger's blade was thin enough to not damage anything when aimed right.

I pulled on the rope, the blade coming back, dragging the animal carcass with it. A small smile tugged on my face, I can get bread.

Kunal was surely panicking, he was the type to worry about the smallest of things. He once stepped on a cat's tail, Buttercup, Primrose's cat and he bawled, nobody could calm him down. Until he was offered food, that is.

I chuckled at the memory, slowly pulling the blade off the head of the squirrel. I held it in my hands victoriously, a grin on my face. I whistled a small 3 tone song, the chirping mocking birds falling silent before they imitated the tone.

After meeting up, we went back home, passing by the Hob. It was sort of a black market, where coals are transported directly to trains. I disliked it here, the amount of coal dust always bothered me, so when I come here I tend to cover my nose.

We managed to trade six of the fish for good bread, the other two for some salt. The lady who sells soup, the one that always glares at me because I've insulted her soup on multiple occasions, Greasy Sae: took half the greens we gathered, along with the dead dog meat that she calls "beef".

That's why I hate her soups, though it's not like I have much of an option, we can't afford luxury here. Unlike those obnoxious, entitled, privileged people in the Capitol. My jaw clenched at the mere thought of those scums.

We finish our business on the market, so we went to the mayor's house, who was particularly fond of strawberries. We knocked on the back door, his daughter, Madge opening it for us.

She's in Katniss and I's year sits beside us at almost every event because we don't really have groups of friends. For being the mayor's daughter you'd expect her to be an entitled brat or maybe a snob, but she was alright, she kept to herself.

I like that, I hate noisy people, They'll scare away the game, that and I've never really liked loud noises. I still remember the explosions in the mines, it was traumatizing, even though my father didn't meet death there. I really wished he had.

Madge didn't wear her usual attire, instead, she wore an expensive white dress, her blonde hair up with a pink ribbon. Reaping clothes. I felt my face scrunch up, that day was supposed to be a form of celebration. It's more of a way for the capitol to show who's in control.

We were being punished for the crimes of the people who failed, disguised as some form of celebration. It's disgusting.

"Pretty dress," Gale complimented. Madge shoots him a look, trying to see if it's genuine or if he was just being ironic. It was a pretty dress, but it was a waste.

She smiled, "Well, if I'm going to the Capitol, I want to look nice, don't I?"

I clenched my jaw, "But you won't be going to the Capitol," I said coolly, my voice monotone. My eyes landed on a small, circular pin on her dress. Real gold. The testament to the fact that she probably won't be chosen. "You probably have five entries, compared to us, that's a blessing."

"That's not her fault," Katniss said. Madge looked slightly hurt, probably because I've never really spoken my thoughts to her, I try my best to be polite when she engages a conversation with me.

"I know," I responded plainly. Madge smiled towards me, though it was clear it wasn't exactly genuine. She then handed the money for the berries. She looked towards Katniss "Good luck, Katniss"

"You too," She responded.

We walked toward the Seam, I can't help but feel angry. Her? Going to the Capitol? What a joke. When you're twelve your name gets put in the pile once, thirteen twice then so on. Up until your eighteen, where your name is entered seven times.

But the thing is, the rich have an advantage. You can enter your name willingly in the pile when you're starving in exchange for some tesserae. I had been doing this since I was twelve, having entered my name 3 times, for my mother, brother and myself.  Every year following suite, it has always been like this.

Now at the age of 16, I've entered my name twenty times, same with Katniss. Gale was in even greater danger, with a number of forty-two.

And she'll be the tribute this year? It can happen but it's deadly slim. I knew Gale felt the same way, listening to him rant about tesserae in the woods with Katniss was enough confirmation, along with the fact that I join in on the rants. Always end it with a promise to destroy the Capitol, somehow.

But what good does that do us?

Gale, Katniss and I divide our spoils, though it wasn't really the evenest distribution.  Gale got more, understandably since he has more mouths to feed.

"See you guys in the square," Katniss said, Gale nodded, "Wear something pretty," he joked.

I decided to stop by the bakery, by then the witch should be home but I took my chances. There was Mr Mellark, sitting outside, watching the pigs. He saw me from the corner of his eye, he grinned. "Greyback!' he called.

"Mr Mellark, still up for some squirrel?" I ask, holding the fat one up. He nodded, "You're lucky my wife isn't here, yet. Hold on, I'll get the bread for Kunal," he said, rushing inside.

I walked to the backdoor of the bakery so that he wouldn't trouble himself that much. I waited awkwardly outside, looking at a small bird fluttering about. I whistled, holding my finger out.

The bird landed on my finger, making me smile. From the corner of my eye, I saw a boy, blonde, stocky. Could probably kill me, if I'm being honest. Even though I was fast, I wasn't strong.

Soon enough, the bird flew away with the arrival of the baker, with a loaf of sweet, savoury bread, hot from the oven. "Here you go, Greyback."

I nodded, handing him the squirrel. "Oh!" he hummed, "Have you met my son, Peeta?" he asked, a smile on his face, "You're in the same year, yes?"

I didn't know what to say. Sure, I know him but I don't know that well him that well. My eyes travelled to the boy, who simply waved and briskly walked away. "I don't think so," I answered.

"I better be going, Mr Mellark. Nal needs his favourite bread after all," I said, flashing a small smile before I left. A small pit of dread boiled in my stomach, something bad is going to happen.

But then again, it's Reaping day, nothing good ever happens.

Word count: 1.3k

Tags:

@nin3s

:)))

[nokomiss]

How about: "I won't forget this." *Rolling their eyes* "Thats's the idea y'know." With Jaysteph?

The tragedy happened -- poetically, really -- in Crime Alley.  

Two mid-class goons currently serving Two-Face were barreling down the middle of the street in a stolen armored truck, sideswiping anyone who didn’t swerve out of the way quick enough.  Steph didn’t even know what the special occasion was -- it was both an odd month and an odd day, so maybe it was just Two-Face causing what chaos he could -- and Steph was the closest on patrol. She swung in, regretting her choice to leave the Compact behind, and tried her best to catch up with the armored truck.

“Any help?” she called over the comms. “O, can you do something about the traffic, maybe? These guys are not following the rules of the road.”

“Already there,” Babs said.  “Red Hood is incoming.”

Steph managed to hook a line onto the truck just as Red Hood appeared on a really nice bike. Nice enough she noticed even when flying through the air aiming her body at a speeding truck.  

She landed on top of the truck with more grace than she’d been hoping for, given her iffy relationship with gravity in general, and began to make her way towards the cab of the truck. “Hood, can you distract them?”

“On it,” Jason replied, and a second later the armored truck swerved wildly as a chain wrapped around one of its wheels.  Steph kept her grip, and made her way unnoticed to the roof above the driver. She knew the glass was bulletproof, but that didn’t so much matter if the driver couldn’t see through it. She anchored herself to the top of the truck, then splattered two gooperangs on the windshield.

Instant chaos. The driver, just correcting from Jason’s attack on his wheels, lost total control of the truck as his vision was completely obscured. Steph gripped tightly to the magnetic gripper she’d anchored down. Her cape whipped around her as she tried to figure out where Jason and his bike were -- she definitely needed to bail soon, as the truck was aimed right for the concrete pillars supporting an overpass.  

“Behind you,” Jason said through the comm, clearly seeing her dilemma, and Steph let go of her anchor as she felt the truck lurch over a curb.  

She managed to somersault off the back of the truck like she did it every day, and caught onto Jason’s handlebars in a move she couldn’t replicate if she tried, but was so grateful that she pulled off. A half-turn and a twist and she was landing roughly in Jason’s arms like she’d planned it all out, and a second later the armored truck smashed into the pillar, front end crumpling like an accordion.

Jason pulled the bike to a stop, and Steph hopped out of his arms before offering him a high five. He grinned at the destruction they’d caused and high fived her back before they went to check on the goons, who were both groggy and easy to subdue. There were two dollar bills floating comically around them, like it was a cartoon, and Steph understood why Two Face had staged this particular robbery.

“Huh,” Jason said, catching one of the bills mid-air. “Who knew there were this many in circulation?”

“And in a city known for Two-Face’s crimes, even,” Steph said. “Like. What was the take, a couple hundred bucks?”

Jason pocketed the bill he’d caught, and Steph rolled her eyes at him. “What?” he said. “Batman takes trophies all the time.”

Steph could hardly argue that point, having spent more than her fair share of time climbing the giant dinosaur.  “Thanks for the assist, this went way smoother than--”

She was interrupted mid-sentence by an ominous creaking noise overhead.  She looked up, saw the cracks in the concrete, and grabbed onto Jason��s sleeve. “Run!”

They sprinted across the road, and watched in mutual horror as a broken slab of concrete, loosened by the crash, fell directly onto Jason’s motorcycle.

“Oh no,” Steph said quietly.

“Oh shit,” Jason said, and it was not the horror-struck tone of someone who had lost a prized possession. It was the horror-struck tone of someone who had fucked up majorly.

Steph looked at him.  Jason pointed at the crushed metal that had formerly been a red motorcycle with a shaking hand. “Please tell me I’m hallucinating.”

“Gotham’s infrastructure really never recovered from No Man’s Land,” Steph said, patting him on the arm. “I mean, that was a really nice bike, but at least we caught the bad guys?”

“It was a really nice bike,” Jason said. “It also wasn’t my bike.”

“Yikes,” Steph said. She cautiously moved closer, but there were no more creaking sounds overhead. The bike was thoroughly crushed, though. She poked at a bent wheel with the toe of her boot. “Bruce’s?”

Jason nodded. “Shit, shit, shit.”

“I mean, it’s not like he can’t afford another one?” Steph offered. 

“There aren’t any more,” Jason said. “And he fucking loves that bike.”

“How can there not be any more? It’s not like donut holes at the bakery,” Steph said. “It’s a motorcycle.” A Ducati, granted, and a definite loss, but… Jason was not taking this well. She wondered if he needed a hug.

“There were less than eight in the world. Seven now, I guess,” Jason said. He began picking pieces of concrete off the bike’s remains. “Come on, you have to help me hide the body.”

“Hide the -- you’re shitting me,” Steph said. “You love breaking Bruce’s stuff. Last month you took a picture of yourself next to the Batmobile you wrecked and made it the Batcomputer wallpaper.”

“Well, this is different,” Jason said. “Come on. I saved your ass, now you get to save mine.”

Steph couldn’t really argue with that, given that Jason had kindly kept her from splattering on the pavement. She began to move concrete chunks, and the more of the bike they unearthed, the worse it looked.  Oil and gasoline smeared the pavement like blood, and the bike itself was mangled beyond recognition. The bright red paint was coated with concrete dust, turning it dull brown.  

There was absolutely no way they were wheeling it away from the scene, and Steph could hear police sirens echoing down the street. They cleared off the rest of the concrete as Steph remotely called the Compact.  She glanced over her shoulder and noticed Jason doing the same. “We can drag it over behind that pillar?” she suggested, pointing to one that didn’t have an armored truck smashed into it.

It was less than fifteen feet away, but it took all their combined effort to get the bike’s remains behind the pillar before the cops came.  Steph hurried out, grabbing a broken tail light off the pavement and standing casually in front of her captured goons as the police cars careened around the corner.  

The scene looked suspicious as hell, but the actual presence of a Bat at the crime scene -- even if it was Batgirl -- had the officers off-balanced enough that no one actually questioned the pile of rubble.  Steph told them all the intel she had on Two-Face’s crime (not much, but she added enough details that it took a few minutes) while watching the Compact arrive out of the corner of her eye, and Jason managing to strap the Ducati’s remains to it without any officers actually noticing.  

It was actually pretty hilarious, watching him struggle to shove mangled motorcycle parts into a net intended for a cartoonish capture of criminals on top of the Compact while trying to blend in with the night.  He mostly failed, but luckily for him, Steph was a pretty great distraction.

“And in conclusion, what the heck, Gotham National Bank, what were you thinking? Gotta run!” she announced as soon as she saw Jason finish with the Ducati and climb into the Compact, and made a big show of firing her grappling gun and swooping off into the night like a proper vigilante.

If it hadn’t been for the one notable casualty, Steph would be having an absolutely stellar night.

She met up with him a few blocks over and climbed in the Compact, letting him continue to drive, as she had no earthly idea where one disposed of the body of a motorcycle.

Though, as he pulled up to an abandoned part of the harbor, she probably should have guessed.

They climbed out of the Compact and stood there, breeze ruffling their hair and the moonlight shining on the water. It should be a peaceful moment, but the smell of motor oil dripping from the Ducati ruined it.  

“Tell me why this bike’s different?” Steph was so incredibly curious.  Jason was not one to hide something to spare Bruce’s feelings.

Jason had his hands shoved in his pockets. They were both fully in uniform, though Jason was down to a domino mask.  For some reason, Steph thought it was easier to share personal things while in uniform; it somehow seemed divorced from real life.  Though for Jason the uniform seemed to be real life.  He stared out at the water for a few more minutes, then finally said, “I had a picture of that bike on my wall when I was a kid. Like, before things really went to shit, I ripped a picture out of a magazine at the fuckin’ library, and snuck it home in my backpack. I didn’t know it was some rare thing, I just liked the color.”

“You do like your reds,” Steph said, for lack of anything better.  

His mouth quirked up. “You sure you wanna go there, Purple Rain?” 

She bumped her shoulder up against his-- well, against his arm, but the thought was there.  “So you had a picture of a motorcycle on your wall. Very weird. Almost unseemly, for a boy to have an illicit picture of a motorcycle--”

“Wow, you just don’t stop ever, do you,” Jason said. His mouth quirked up, and then he glanced back at the bike. “Anyway. After Bruce took me in, I kept pestering him about getting me one, even though they were stupid expensive and impossible to find, because of there being only a handful in existence.” 

“And obviously he got it for you,” Steph said, rolling her eyes, because Bruce could be called a lot of things, but stingy wasn’t one of them.

Jason shook his head. “Nope. I mean -- I guess, but not as a present. I guess he bought it symbolically for my sweet sixteen. Probably drove it to my grave, the melodramatic bastard.”

Steph opened her mouth and shut it again a few times, and then turned to stare again at the wreckage of the bike.  “I mean-- wow. So he didn’t think to give it to you once, you know, you rejoined the world of the living?”

“I don’t know if you remember but things weren’t awesome between us then,” Jason said, a little testily.

“I mean, if you want to play that game, I don’t, actually, given that I was having my own post-death world travels at that time,” Steph replied in exactly the same tone. 

Jason’s mouth tightened, then he let out a sharp bark of laughter. “I kind of forgot about that.”

“Well, I don’t bring it up in every conversation I have, so….” Steph nobly managed to not stick her tongue out at him.

“You’re a saint. And no, he did not give it to me once I came back,” Jason said, bringing the conversation back to the salient point.  “I found it in the garage covered in a freaking tarp, and sometimes I borrow it.”

“Without permission, I assume.”

Jason nodded. “He’s never shown any indication that he noticed. Which, you know, for Bruce…”

“Is a miracle in and of itself.” Steph nodded back at him. “So basically -- Bruce bought you your dream bike when you were dead and you’re cranky because he didn’t actually give it to you, so you keep stealing it hoping he’ll notice.”

“When you put it like that, it sounds stupid,” Jason said.

Steph stared at him, hoping he’d get the point.

“It isn’t stupid,” he insisted.

“You’re all stupid,” Steph said. “So now you want to throw it in the harbor instead of just… letting Bruce know that you have been taking it? Nevermind that obviously he knows you’ve been taking it. I mean. Do you fill it up with gas every time? I bet not, and I bet it’s always full when you pick it back up.”

She absolutely was not speaking from experience with her own personal favorites of Bruce’s ridiculously awesome car collection.

“I--” Jason began, but then shrugged. “Shit.”

Steph surveyed the harbor again, then looked back at the wreckage. “You know, this is one way to deal with this, but… what if there’s a better way.”

Jason drummed his fingers on his thigh, clearly weighing her earlier words, then said, “I’m listening.”

*

Four hours later, they stood side by side again, this time in the Cave.

“Okay,” Jason said slowly. “Okay, I’ll say it. You are an evil genius and I adore you.”

Steph fluffled her hair cheerfully. “Glad to hear it.”

“This is-- I mean, I thought I was the best at getting under Bruce’s skin, but this is going to make him go ballistic.”

Steph rolled her eyes. “The point is not to make Bruce go ballistic. That’s just a happy little bonus.”

They were standing in front of Jason’s memorial case, which until very recently had held only his Robin uniform.

Steph had to say, the a good soldier plaque now felt far less serious, given that it was now describing the mangled remains of a motorcycle that had died in the line of duty.  She even found a sharpie and added to the plaque, in the most cutesy handwriting she could manage so that it now read JASON TODD’s dream bike.

“It’s perfect,” Jason breathed.  Steph had been unsure about what to do with the uniform that had been inside, but Jason had lovingly pulled it over the handlebars until the Ducati had become, in death, an honorary Robin. “I won’t forget this.”

Steph rolled her eyes. “That’s the whole idea, y’know. It’s a memorial. For memory-keeping.”

But then she reached over and took Jason’s hand in hers, tangling their fingers together and squeezing. “Sorry your bike died while you were helping me.”

Logically, Gotham’s poor infrastructure wasn’t her fault, but if she hadn’t needed an assist, Jason would still have his beloved bike. Well. Kind of. Would still be regularly stealing his beloved bike from his emotionally inept father, because they were both stubborn idiots.

Jason kept holding her hand, leaning in until their sides were touching. “At least it went in a blaze of glory.”

“And now it’s gonna live on forever in our hearts,” Steph said. She pulled up their joined hands and pressed a kiss onto Jason’s knuckle, ignoring the way he startled at the soft touch and focusing on the little smile he gave her.  “Wanna hide in the dinosaur and watch Bruce’s reaction when he notices?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

[minthysugamon]

Everybody wants to Rule the World. (Part 2)

Noble Assistant,Sergeant! Namjoon x Assassin! Reader.

1789! AU

Word Count: 2,111 (angel number go brrr again)

Warnings: Slight misogyny,beheading,blood,death...i think that's all.

(Credit for the Original Photo: @/athenaa. I only edited it a little bit. But all credit goes to the original artist who posted the photo first in it's original version)

(Painting: La liberté guidant le peuple by Eugène Delacroix)

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12 Août,1787. (Flashback)

After reading every word of Voltaire,Maximilien became more and more riled up by the thrill of the revolution. The adrenaline of change was getting the best of him,he had no time to care about his little sister,(Y/n) Robespierre,who would simply block him from getting in the city. The Robespierre family was more than just concerned about their eldest child,the Gem of their family. (Y/n) hated the injustice their father casted upon them. She wanted to learn,he wouldn't let her. Henriette tried to reason her but stubborn,like her brother,she went up in Paris,alone,in the quest of knowledge.

After arriving at Le Marais,her first goal was to find her brother. Nothing more,nothing less. And finding him,she did. But not in his expected state. "Maximilien,laissez moi entrer.¹" A groan was heard from the man but he got up to let his sistet in. "What are you doing here? I told you to stay at home,in Arras. Is it so hard to follow my or father's wishes?" He sighed and pulled a chair out for her. 'How chivalrous.' (Y/n) thought to herself. "Mon frère,i came here to ask you a favor." Her eyes,full of hope,heart racing,the negative answer from him already anticipated. "And what would that favor be? If it's to join some political club,it's a no. And i won't listen to any begging. No is-" "I know. No is no. I don't even want to join those. All i wanted to ask from you is to teach me the art of law."

Maximilien sighed. He knew she will never be accepted as a lawyer,as much as she wanted. In the end,(Y/n) was a woman. Not a male apprentice. But a simple woman. "So...? Will you please teach me...?" Her voice resonated through the small living room,a hint of hope and a dust of desperation sticking to it. "No. I can't. I already taught you everything you had to know. I can't teach you more." Maximilien simply sat down on a chair,looking at her. How could have his sister,a woman from such a delicate mother,turned out like a man? "Is it because i'm a woman?" "It's because you won't be accepted. I'm only doing you a favor here,if you haven't noticed. Ta demande est ridicule. Et tu le sais très bien.² I won't let a Robespierre be turned into laughing stock. Not only your honor depends on it,but our whole family's."

Objecting her brother was the worst thing she could ever do. The man was stubborn and always stuck to his own ideologies for the better or the worst. "But you know-" "STOP IT. NOW. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THAT ANYMORE. I SAID NO. AND NOTHING WILL CHANGE THAT. YOU ARE A WOMAN. KNOW YOUR PLACE FOR GOD'S SAKE." The heavy breathing coming from the eldest was enough to make the atmosphere heavy between them. (Y/n) stood up and put the chair back as if she was never on it. "Alright. Thank you for your time,Maître Robespierre. Je me tâcherai à ne plus vous contre-dire.³" Stepping out of the residence,(Y/n) let the door slam against it's frame. The silence was too heavy around Maximilien. He wanted to tell her he's sorry,but he knew it won't change anything. Her pride was too high for her own good. So he put his aside for once,as unwilling as he was. "Alright. Come back. If you want to learn. You will learn. From me. But don't tell anyone about this. Est-ce clair?⁴"

The young woman's eyes lit up. For the first time,she achieved to coerce something useful out of her brother,something that will be helpful for her future. "Crystal clear,Maximilien." She did a 180 and started walking towards the door of the small and stuffed place the elder was living in,passing right beside him. "So? When do we start? I wanna know everything." An innocent but playful smile spreading on her face as she spoke took Maximilien by surprise. "Quoi?⁵ Not even a simple thank you?" The tone in his voice was laced with fake-hurt. He was annoyed but somewhat proud of her sister's persuasion skills. If she was a man,she would've been a very good lawyer. Putting ultimatums where they belong,it requires skill.

14 Juillet,1789.

After getting some powder,Namjoon was finally recharging his gun,the fact he owed his life to a revolutionist still had him shocked. 'Why?' wasn't his only question though,he wanted to know more about that woman. "COUPEZ-LUI LA TÊTE!⁶" the chant of the crowd grew louder and louder as his foster father was escorted by some peasants. While the sergeant of the troop was laying dead jn the hallway,the squad's organisation itself was frantic,none of them had endured such debauchery before.

"Sir,what should we do? We can't let the colonel down." One of the soldiers finally spoke up after a long moment of silence. His ears were ringing. The loud gun noises made him lose all auditory senses,but he still spoke up despite not being able to think clearly and having no military experience. "Wait here. If i signal the path is cleared,you follow. Divide in two divisions. We can't sacrifice anyone. If anything,i prefer sacrificing myself if there's a chance to lead you into safety. May God be with all of you."

Namjoon had no idea what came over him and moreover had no idea how to command,but he strong leadership De Launay has showed during his younger years may have stuck with him. One thing is sure,he won't commit the error of turning his troops against himself. Maybe getting killed was his destiny after all,but he would do everything in his power to not have the one who raised him killed. After hiding behind a pillar,the man signaled to the first troop to come and hide behind the chariot. The chariot the battle was going on for,the precious gun powder those uncultured men couldn't use. Hell,even him,he was new to the battle but the situation couldn't degrade more.

"Here's what we're going to do. We have to use up all the powder while the second troop can finally get to safety. Negociating with these savages already failed,we have to act." The youngest soldier, Nathanaël du Rhône, looked him in awe, their leader, Kim Namjoon, the man who was once a Stranger, was more worried about their safety than his. The newly appointed Staff Sergeant pointed to Nathanaël. "You. Signal to the others that they can come,then hide and leave. You have more than just a fight to live. The others,you come with me. Hide,aim and charge. I'll signal you when to shoot." De Launay has noticed his son due to his inattention,his hat was in the wrong direction. He simply smiled at the determination of the young chief then mouthed a simple 'You'll be alright son." in his direction while the three man were still escorting him out to the court of the prison.

"Wait....Now. Shoot." And the men acted as Namjoon said,including himself. They fired the shots,simultaneously touching the three who were holding the Colonel. Recharge,aim shoot again all the people who were flocking in the court. Once they had no other choice and were blocked,the hiding spot was discovered too. But he won't let his men down easily,he wasn't raised to do so. "Gather the explosives. We must light them and decimate the crowd or else this hell will never end."

After throwing one of the smoke torches in the crowd,he started running towards his elder, successfully stabbing one of the new detainers in the throat with the bayonette of his shotgun. "Père.⁷You must come. I beg you." De Launay simply nodded a no and smiled "My destiny was to die protecting the king and the prison. Now go before they get you too. You're too young to die." Namjoon wanted to do another round before he saw the head of the Colonel falling,in addition thhe man's blood splattered over his face as he wasn't more than 3 meters away. "Chef. Ils nous ont encerclé⁸. We must go." A new smoke torch was thrown by the youngest soldier on the ground,blinding the revolutionists as he held back his chief from going rampage over the ones who killed the one he called father. "NO I CAN'T. I CAN'T LET HIM DIE." Namjoon screamed frantically as Nathanaël was pulling him by the arm, at the same time asking for help from his troop mates. Two other men came to hold the new and young Sergeant down,escorting him to a hiding place,not wanting to lose their only commandant in this butchery.

15 Juillet,1789.

After staying up all night,the sun was rising. 'Finally', (Y/N) thought to herself. The night was long enough already when she simply had woken up from night terrors and waited for the light of the day to reassure her,but now that she had to wait for her brother, it seemed like an eternity. Sitting on the roof of the house Maître Robespierre lived in,she had the privilege to eat something that many couldn't, an apple. The thought of saving that guy in the early afternoon was prancing around her mind, not fully understanding why she did what she did. 'I should've killed him. Now he's one of my countless problems.' Her inner monologue was eating her up,much like she was munching on the green fruit. Due to the bad harvests of the previous years,it was as sour as her mood.

After finishing the apple,eating the core,even if it was more than just acidic and putting the seeds into a small pocket of her leather pants,she knew she should get down the roof and change back into her normal attire to hide her activity. As long as Maximilien didn't know about anything,she was safe. He wouldn't condone her actions even if she was killing the noblemen he oh so strongly opposed. As murderous as his desires were, the thought of a woman being better than him made his skin crawl. The crowd had finally died down too,people went back to their residences or the small shelter they were at to sleep,it was around two in the morning that the chants started to become more and more quiet and at three,not a single soul was seen wandering the streets. It was although now five in the morning and she knew,her brother would soon come back from the whorehouse he went to. After finally getting into her dress,she went out the door to finally get some bread. 'Oh to be a man and not give a piece of mind about the opinions of others.' she thought as she entered the local bakery.

"Bien le bonjour, mademoiselle⁹ ,early today,i see! Let me guess,the usual or are we changing it up today?" The baker, Jean-Hugues Lefèvre, was known for his kindness towards his costumers although since bread was a missing article nowadays,he always managed to sneak some to the poorest families,giving up his rations to save others. The baker had already started packing the two loaves,as usual until his actions were interrupted by (Y/n)'s voice.  "Just one loaf will be enough,thank you. I'm only buying for my brother,i am going back home today." As he was choosing the best loaf,he raised an eyebrow. "Oh? So soon? It hasn't been two months thought,as you said ten days ago." She smiled awkwardly,not knowing how to engage in the small talk,making herself feel smaller. "Well...i guess the Parisian air made me feel a little bit exthau-" her phrase couldn't be finished as somebody barged into the shop.

"Bonjour, Monsieur Lefèvre." The intruder was a tall man,smelling like gunpowder and cologne "Bonjour, Sergent Kim. Congratulations on your rank. You fought well. I am sorry about what happened with the Colonel. What can i serve you with?" Jean-Hugues gave (Y/N) the loaf as he told her the price and the  another man looked at her. "Three loaves please..." Thoughtful was the only way to describe him once he caught a look of the eyes of the woman,and (Y/N) had a suspicion why,so she ushered herself out of the bakery. "Wait a minute." The man called out. So she turned around "Yes?" Trying to seem confident out of the cape and mask that hid her face yesterday was harder to do than to say. "Haven't we met somewhere?" A genuine curiosity was displayed on his face. As much as she knew the right answer,the lie was necessary. "I don't think so. Have a nice day,Monsieur Lefèvre." And the girl started heading to the Robespierre residence.

Left dumbfounded and with three loaves for his 10 men, Namjoon was thinking about where he had seen those eyes before. "The girl from yesterday."

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Translations

¹ Let me enter

² Your request is ridiculous. And you know that well.

³ I'll make sure to never argue with you again.

⁴ Is it clear?

⁵ What?

⁶ Chop his head off!

⁷ Father.

⁸Chief,they have surrounded us.

⁹Well good morning there,Miss.

A/N: Hello there. There will be probably a part 3,but i don't know when. I don't promise it will be before april but i'll try to write it before. Please note that i try to stay as close to history as possible but as this is an AU,there are some modifications here and there. This is pure fiction please do not take this for something real. Thank you. (Only saying because i've gotten some hateful DMs bc of the first part).

[letusmeetagain]

I like your interpretation of snk. It's enjoyable to read.

Not really an ask but... I think for all the shit eren has been through he deserves a chance at survival and to be happy. But eren willingly and knowingly activated the rumbling so there's no turning back from that and I think it's a done deal that eren won't survive because of it. For that reason I'm low-key hoping that eren was manipulated or controlled to activate the rumbling. I really just want to see him have a life and to be happy.

Anyway do you think eren has a chance at survival?

Hi anon!

You got exactly to the point that I'm most uncomfortable with.

That's why I wrote about that bad taste that leaves me this whole idea of the rumbling being "a catastrofe that holds a meaning" and Eren is being controlled.

I think there's no way for Eren to escape the guilt. More or less, he contributed to the rumbling and he will be guilty. He also acknowledges his own guilt. You can argue that Eren might be innocent if he was being controlled or manipulated but the point of justice is that he was a grown-up man that reflected very well about the consequences of his actions. There is a real case in USA of a kid that was manipulated by his step mother into killing his dad because she told him he had cancer and wanted to die to leave them the money of the insurance. The 6 yo child was found innocent but because he had no way to weigh the consequences nor to know the difference between a lie and the truth.

For us, that are immersed in a world with these rules, watching Eren and saying he is innocent is disturbing. It's like with Breaking Bad. The authors want you to align with the protagonist and feel pity. In my case, I never could... I wanted Walt to win over others but because they were even worst than him... But it didn't really made him innocent to me. My father, who felt related to him for his own life, told me he was a good guy whose life got ruined by others (my father also tens to shove the guilt on others btw) where I rather saw that it was Walt's nature what led him downward. However this is a genocide and it also relates to something fragile to us... That is respect to the diversity.

To be honest... I'm very disappointed with the approach of the rumbling. But not because of the work itself but because of the light-headed way the fandom takes it.

Some specific decision Isayama made was probably the trigger. He aims to show how the story is developed through everyone's decisions and how these decisions are based on their undeniable true nature. That everything they do anchors on their true self. He partly says that this is something they must be proud of... And that everyone's mindset, regardless how wicked or dangerous it is, is part of them and history.

So if Eren is doing this, it's because he accepted this way. I do believe that he chose it being free and also restricted by the circumstances.. but everyone face the same view. Nobody is 100% free and not every memory he got was beautiful so the mastermind that sent the memories didn't really manipulated him that much. The fact that he got a memory about Ramzy's death means something... It's like a sort of warning: "the rumbling is not just roses but also thorns.". He was manipulated about Mikasa. The idea that he can't change the future is kinda tricky: if he saw the future, it's because it happened. And if it happened it's because he chose it. It's because he lost hope, yeah, but it was his nature too that he would be able to lose it.

Now Isayama will somehow undermine this concept that supports his whole story to tell us that Eren was being controlled? Will he?

That about saying he deserves to be happy... It's complicated. What does happiness mean? Did every character attained happiness? Is happiness or relief what he needs? Why would he deserve happiness while his friends are dying? Will he be able to mentally survive the guilt of knowing he wasn't able to save them?

[I don't mean just because they are dying he shouldn't be happy as a sort of immature saltiness. I mean that how will he be able to live knowing the people he wanted to protect are dead... I wonder if he could live after that]

And the most important part: will he be forgiven by the world he destroyed? Will he be able to live among the mountains of corpses he caused?

EDIT: Tumblr arghhhh!!! Anon! Sorry but something happened to my answer. Apparently I posted a draft... I don't know.

So I'm adding what's missing.

I think that there are chances for Eren to survive. The point is how Isayama displays this without undermining his whole mindset throughout the series and also providing a fair approach of the genocide.

My fear is also that we have just 3 chapters left and I don't know if Eren would have time to redeem himself corresponding the dimensions of his doing. Two panels wouldn't be enough to me.

But I don't know. If I have to weight what's more important: Eren's happiness with Mikasa and co. or a fair approach of the rumbling so the series doesn't remain as "how to run away with genocide", I would maybe choose the latter for the sake of Isayama as author and for the sake of everyone that is reading this work. But it could be both, let's see.

This isn't an easy question. Even I am trying to reach the balance between the pity I feel for him and the idea that he did or helped this.

Thank you for the question and I'm sorry that I posted just part of it the first time!!

[billiejean485]

Karmiro Kiss

https://www.deviantart.com/billiejean485/art/Karmiro-Kiss-800793669

(Text from DA:)

First of all, I'd like to state something: I don't usually upload art such as this often or at all, and I rarely even show it to anyone. Reason? Been bullied a hell of a lot for it in younger years, so I learned to keep things like these to myself. However, I am pretty sure the Karmiro fans would appreciate it, and I am having a really hard time finding artwork devoted to this ship myself (kudos to Iamaddictedtocoffee and KenKic4Ever - you guys are IMO the best I could find), and I honestly wanted to contribute.

Second thing I wanted to mention is that - although the show itself made me a huge Karmiro fan, this particular piece/sketch came as an inspiration from reading Arctimon's fics. My God - for the past 6 years I've been having a really hard time finding quality fanfics (I got older, and my standards became very high), and their in particular are among those rare that make me cling to it like an idiot, rereading it until I know it by heart (still in the process of achieving that btw XD). I haven't left a review yet, but, I can say here that that level of quality English, original ideas and great imagination is not something that you just stumble upon in the fan fiction world easily. I'm blown away. Still am. Still haven't read everything, so I won't drop that mentioned review yet. But, Arctimon, if you're reading this - you have my huge support, and I'm a really big fan.

Now on to the rant on the art aspect of this sketch.

I don't have much experience in drawing a kiss, and still learning to do that. What killed me even more here is just the position (that I probably didn't even figure out well) of the two - if you have that steamy kiss where both sides try to pull each other into it, and a couple with height differences between a girl and a boy such as Hiro and Karmi, everything gets complicated. The arm position is probably off (because yours truly was lazy enough not to reference anything). I hope at least I got their faces right - I haven't drawn either of the two enough for practice. Oh, and Karmi's hair was ridiculously difficult for me; it should be simple, but nope.

Ah, yes, and the Baymax sketch in the bg - the body probably should have been a bit bigger, but 'anatomy' wise I think it's okay. I just placed him in the wrong spot. And I have a feeling that it made perspective make no sense (he's speechless, btw XD).

Okay, and two last things.

I love the fact that Hiro is the shorter one in this relationship and is probably standing on his toes somewhat here, while Karmi has to bend down and/or pull him up. It's so relatable and heart-warming. :D I remember how all that went in those years of life (14~16). Wish we'll manage to see him grow, but who knows. Also, depends what Disney plans for the sequel of the movie, if they're even planning it (it got them an Oscar, so chances are high).

But one thing that saddens me in that is that - for most characters that appear in TV shows that are based on the movie there is like a rule that they don't appear in the movie's sequel. Which brings me to the second thing.

Even though I ship them with all my heart, I see little possibilities for these two to become something more than friends (there is more chance for that happening with Hiro and Megan, although the whole Karmutie stuff has led us on to believe otherwise up until she showed up). It seems as though Hiro and Karmi's relationship was made only to reach some "good friends" climax and that that's the whole point of it. Even Karmi's crush on hero-Hiro looks more like something that came as a product of her loneliness rather than actual need for a romantic interest in her life (I think she'd be a lot more invested in her relationship with 'Captain Cutie' if this wasn't the case). And when you take into account that this is a show aimed at kids... it all makes sense. Kids don't like romantic stuff, nor do they need it. But what do they need? Learning more about friendship, especially with that girl or boy they tend to fight a lot and don't get along well. It's a perfect reason to make you think that that there will never be anything more in this relationship. But it gets on our older fans' nerves because - naturally, the characters are not kids, they're teens. Things function differently here. I mean, okay - Karmi and Hiro may not be each other's type (debatable) in the end, but you can't tell me they don't care for each other at it's base, and that they will learn to get their rivalry out of the way to make a clear path for that. And when that happens, everything's possible.

But coming back to the first thing I brought up - the characters from the TV show rarely, if ever, make it to the sequel of the movie. Which means, whatever happens with these two, they will probably split up. It's saddening, and I wish things would change there. Hey, seeing Karmi in the sequel would make who knows how many of us happy. And not just her - bunch of other characters too. Or at least give them an honorable mention.

It's because TV shows get made for kids that nothing from it gets transferred to the sequel of the movie, which gets made for audiences of all ages. If there's something I wish would change, it's that - having TV shows dumbed down for kids. And with that I mean - seeing characters a lot older act like they're children. What the heck is that teaching the little kids? That reality will never be like they saw it on TV?

Kudos, and a really big KUDOS to the shows that are tackling this particular thing. It's good and it's healthy. If you wanna make something for kids, make it really appropriate for kids. Don't tug on the nerves of us older people, because - whatever the world says, there will always be those older ones that watch cartoons, ages ranging from older teens to who knows how old. We don't like watching those dumbed down things, no matter how profitable it is for you, content-makers, to target it only for kids, who will get you the most money. Yeah, it's harder to make such stuff, we know, but it's not impossible. At least show a little effort.

But, concerning that, I can't complain on BH6's TV show anymore. The second season was fantastic so far, and those 'dumbed-down' elements were reduced to the bare minimum. I just hope it stays that way.

... Well, this was a whole lot that came out of me just because of posting one silly fangirl drawing. XD Hope some of you actually managed to read this.... Too bad all of this is going to get dumped in the Scraps' section (please make a Sketch section, DA!), like most of my uploads do.

I live and breathe sketches. lol

Oh well - thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. XD I'm really done this time.