#we grew up on the right side of cartoon network

[therisingdarkness]

Me watching my Chibodee thirst post gain traction thanks to Tumblr user @cryoverkiltmilk

[mia-talks-toons]

(S1E5) Battle For Dream Island: The Power Of A Community

Today I'm doing something a little different, and delving into the world of indie cartoons! Instead of being aired on a big channel like Cartoon Network, Nickelodeon, Disney Channel, or even a streaming platform, Battle For Dream Island is a YouTube webseries! I’ve always had an admiration for people who find ways to do big projects like this without the support of a whole company behind them. The show was released way back in 2010, created by twin brothers Cary and Michael Huang when they were just 12 years old. It follows a cast of anthropomorphic objects competing against each other to win the titular “Dream Island”. Since its initial release, the show continued on for another 4 seasons, two of which are still going on RIGHT NOW, and they currently have an entire crew and production team to help make episodes!

While it’s an incredible success story, the reason I’m talking about BFDI isn’t because of the show itself, but the community it created. The show raked in tons of fans even when it was a small no-budget project, and it only grew as the show got bigger. Heck, I was a fan way back when the second season was coming out, back in 2013! Soon, other people got inspired by the show, and by the fact that it was made independently by two preteens, and made their own “Object Shows”, as the genre is called. Nowadays there are dozens of different shows in the category, such as Inanimate Insanity (the second object show to be created), ONE (A genre deconstruction of object shows), and Open Source Objects (a show in which every scene is animated by a different person, in their own style).

Even those who didn't go through the effort of making an entire show still made things inspired by the show. There are a lot of people (including me) who make fan art, original characters, write fanfiction and more! An especially interesting phenomenon is object “camps”, where someone will host a competition online, and other people in the object show community will join with their original characters as contestants. The host will set up a challenge, and each contestant will write their character completing said challenge. In fact, this is actually how I met my boyfriend! 

Which brings me to a personal point. The show and its community are important to me, personally. Like I said before, my boyfriend and I were both huge fans of BFDI, and we first interacted when he was hosting an object camp! He loved the way I wrote my character, and we bonded over the show. We became close friends, and a few years later, got even closer! On the non-romantic side of things, the object show community really inspired me to draw art consistently and create my own characters (even if they were just drawings of household objects with stick figure limbs), since I wanted to participate in all the fun I saw my community members having. I even tried to create my own object show (which I almost fully wrote out but never animated, but hey maybe I’ll revisit it someday)! Also, a group of my friends and I created our own little BFDI-inspired competition show multiverse called the Character Elimination Cinematic Universe. We all take characters from shows, movies, or games we enjoy and write them into our own big crossover stories, where they do fun challenges to win a prize! It’s a bit silly, but it’s a lot of fun too! Though I don’t watch Battle For Dream Island too much anymore, I cannot deny that it had a huge impact on me as a person, as it has for so many other people.

And that’s really all I have to say for this post! Honestly, I could ramble for way longer but I’m writing a blog post, not a 10-page essay! Thank you for reading, and I’ll see you in my next post (also please give me cartoons to cover I’m running out of ideas lol)

[raayllum]

@daceytheshebear TDP is very much a kids' show, and this post wasn't a "haha my show is so edgy and dark it's cool that I, an adult, like it actually," kind of thing. I was reading Greek myth from age 6 onwards and my early hyperfixations were historic, ritualistic human sacrifice and the Bubonic plague; kids very much can and do like darker things.

However, I think most people can agree it is, at the very least, made for older children (think 10+) as opposed to the bulk of children's media that can be enjoyed from 4+ (something like The Owl House). This is not a knock on anything made for younger audiences, either, btw. They are equally enjoyable and worthwhile; darker doesn't mean better or necessarily more mature, although complexity and nuance often lend themselves to stories that go beyond teaching moral lessons (if that's the operative of the piece of art, anyway, which it doesn't have to be). I still love things like Phineas and Ferb and the Dragons' tv series. This post was mostly about age demographic expectations vs the content's reality, and how that can differ, sometimes

This is also from someone who works with a variety of students at all ages (5-23), and has seen various people along this age range as the show's fans / I teach media literacy & humanity subjects. So your paragraph is kinda all the things I believe in and have dedicated myself to, career wise. Just so we're on the same page

Most kids' shows, especially nowadays but also in the past, explore darker themes. I'm part of the generation that grew up with Avatar: The Last Airbender and Transformers: Prime (a show that gets so fucked up an episode in which a main character has a suicide bomb strapped to their chest is decidedly lowkey). While these shows explore many heavy themes - war, genocide, imprisonment, aforementioned bombing, grief, abuse, etc. - their presentation is decidedly different in each of them.

For A:TLA, there is notably little on screen violence. Part of this is the genius of bending being a way to have fight scenes with little to no violence. Characters are rarely, if ever, burned in their fights with firebenders and when they do it's a big, shocking moment (i.e. Aang dying). We can also largely - with Zuko as an exception while he's an antagonist - always trust all the Main Characters to do the right thing. That's why episodes like The Southern Raiders, in which Katara confronts her mother's murderer, stand out because we don't have that moral certainty. ATLA also, unlike TDP, has very little to no body horror, meanwhile there were times I thought S3 of TDP pushed the Y7 envelope a little bit.

For Transformers: Prime, although it gets very dark at times, the bulk of the violence and darker scenes do not happen to humans, but to well, the Transformers. This is part of why they were able to do a lot of said violence from a network standpoint, because most networks have rules and heavier regulations over what can be done or shown with human or human-esque characters (this is part of the reason why PG rated cartoons like Infinity Train had to fight tooth and nail for their two on screen death scenes that happen to human/human-appearing characters).

Meanwhile, TDP has a lot of on screen violence, particularly as the show has gone on, almost exclusively of human or human-appearing people, including showing blood (which normally isn't allowed); it is intensely engaged with moral dilemmas and does not always solve them - main characters across both sides of the antag vs protag lines make complicated, scary choices that aren't necessarily 'the Right Thing to do' (which is also where the shift elementary school children's books to MG and further into YA typically occurs); and it has the aforementioned body horror in quite a few places. It's not that kids' shows can't go this far, it's that Most kids' shows - and I have watched many - Don't go this far and with this kind of serious, straight forward framing. I've yet to see another kids' show that has any protagonist or antagonist start a season splattered in blood, after all, and that's just a visual example.

Aang also almost gets put to death for his crimes in ATLA, but it's a one off episode plot line that's mostly framed as a joke, is quickly resolved, and the episode has a decidedly "and everyone was friends by the end" resolution. TDP's trial and death penalty episode ends with a verdict on explicit restorative justice, is always treated/taken seriously, ends with the accused crying out of relief/gratitude, and further ratchets up the surrounding politics.

Case in point: there have been periods of time, following S4 and S5 where TDP's rating was changed from Y7 to PG. It's back to Y7 (for now) in some regions, but it's been confirmed by both the creators and Netflix that S6 onwards will shoot higher than PG and be labelled TV-14 (specifically for self harm and other potential elements).

TDP is for kids - and indeed, many kids are going through things that means having on screen catharsis is very important (something I think Steven Universe handles super well) - and it will, eventually, have a happy ending.

But when people think Kids' Show, I don't think all of the above is really what necessarily comes to mind. There is a massive gap between the sort of the emotional heaviness and imagery that TDP chooses to consistently explore and the bullk of other tv shows for kids. That's what the post is about (and it was mostly a joke, anyway).

*hastily shoves the two torture scenes, multiple assassinations, a cannibalism motif that's increasingly not being just a motif, and political / moral intrigue plotlines off to the side* haha noo The Dragon Prince is for kids i swear—

[writingforfun0714]

This is my first Star Wars Clone Wars fic. I saw the show as a kid when it aired on Cartoon Network in the 2008 and was disappointed when it ended at season 5. I was excited to hear it come back for another season on Netflix sometime in the mid 2010’s, and when Disney announced season 7 back in like 2019. Now that Disney owns it, I love watching the entire series start to finish in a matter of days. Suffice to say Clone Wars was a large part of my life and Star Wars in general. The first SW thing I saw was Attack of the Clones. I loved it so much (I was 5, saw it a year after it came out) and had a crush on Anakin. He was my favorite character, even though my dad disliked him until Clone Wars. My dad watched it with me on CN when it came on every week and taped it for me (he was divorced and laid off so we had a VCR instead of DVD player). I was absolutely crushed to watch Anakin turn to the dark side and get his limbs chopped off and burned alive in Revenge of the Sith. RotS came out when I was 7, but I was 8 when I saw it air on TV a year later and definitely too young to see that.

I was 10 when the Clone Wars movie aired, just before the series. I was the right age to really get into the lore and characters. Anakin is my favorite for nostalgia, but I fell in love with Ahsoka Tano and the clones. One of the biggest improvements to Star Wars was giving the clones personalities, which the Clone Wars successfully pulled off. What was a mass of copies in AotC became a lovable, loyal, and honorable group of characters. I fell in love with Anakin’s blue and white armored 501st legion and Captain Rex specifically. I also grew to love the fan favorites like Domino Squad, 99, Wolffe (and the Wolffepack!), Cody, Waxer, Boil, Gregor, Gree, Ponds, Monnk, Cut Lawquane, Fox (I love Fox idc some people hate him), Bly, Thire, the Bad Batch, and so many others.

This story is how Anakin got his scar. They never show how he got it or the fact that he even acknowledges it and that, as a kid, always bugged me (especially once Clone Wars came out and had the opportunity to explain it but never did). I never read any of the Star Wars comics (extended universe) now called ‘Star Wars Legends’ and is no longer canon (since Disney bought SW) but I know a few well known things about some comics/books. I believe they did explain Anakin’s scar in one comic or graphic novel and that he got his scar from Ventress (like Commander Wolffe) but it’s not canon. I like that Wolffe went up against Ventress at some point but for me, I personally HC that Obi-wan gave Anakin that scar during training.

Warnings—Spoilers for CW and Obi-Wan, does not line up with SW Legends, headcanons, talk/depiction of mental illness, angst, has time skips, lemme know if I need more

*Takes place between Attack of the Clones and the Clone Wars animated movie and series*

Summary—During a typical training session, Obi-wan accidentally hurts his padawan Anakin.

I’m Sorry Anakin

3rd POV

Life at the Temple isn’t always easy. There’s rules to follow, studying to do and training to complete. It’s certainly a lot different from the life of a slaveboy from Tatooine. Anakin Skywalker has been a padawan for many years now and even though the rules were different and the studying was hard, he found he enjoyed life as a Jedi. After reuniting with his childhood crush, Padmé Amidala, the 2 married just as the Clone War began. Because of the War, Anakin is required to do more training. The Jedi Council agreed that for the War, more padawans should be made Jedi Knights to help serve the Republic. And with Anakin being the ‘supposed’ Chosen One, well, it was obvious the Council wanted him prepped and ready early.

Anakin finds Master Kenobi in one of the training rooms, sitting with his legs crossed and his eyes shut peacefully, though Anakin knew his master better than that.

“I’m sorry I’m late Master-“ Anakin apologizes to Obi-wan’s sigh.

“Anakin, we’ve talked about this. You need to dedicate yourself to your studies and training now more than ever. Didn’t you listen to Master Yoda?” Obi-wan scolds.

“I’m sorry Master-“

“Then mean it,” Obi-wan counters to his padawan’s somewhat lazy attempt at an apology. Anakin looks at him and Obi-wan just sends him back a stern look.

“I do Master. I’m sorry…” Anakin repeats, “I’m sorry, I just…lost track of time, that’s all.” Obi-wan sighs again.

“If this happens again you’ll be on security detail for Madame Jocasta in the library for a whole rotation,” Obi-wan threatens. Anakin nods as his master stands.

“Well better late than never, I suppose. Go through Forms 3 and 5,” Obi-wan instructs and Anakin nods, getting into a ready position with his lightsaber in hand, though not ignited.

“Yes Master,” Anakin says, shifting, holding the metal hilt with both hands, testing out his grip with the new robotic hand. Obi-wan gets into a ready position as well and the two share a look before Anakin moves to strike first.

After going back and forth, blocking, dodging, and countering endlessly, Obi-wan manages to get the upper hand. He counters Anakin’s blue blade with his own before using his free hand to Force-push the blade harder. Anakin is still getting used to his robotic hand. That’s when Anakin sees his lightsaber start to shift out of his robotic fingers. The pressure forces Anakin’s grip to give out. Obi-wan, unprepared, doesn’t let up in time. Anakin manages to drop his saber , shutting it off, but Obi-wan’s blue blade suddenly connects with his face, slicing over his right eye and eyebrow.

“GAAAHHH!!!” Anakin cries out in pain, jerking back so only the tip of the blade touches his skin. Obi-wan manages to shut off his lightsaber almost immediately. Anakin falls to the ground, clutching his face and Obi-wan gasps, almost frozen for a moment before he snaps out of it and races to his padawan’s side.

“Anakin! I’m so sorry—Anakin are you alright?!” Obi-wan panics instantly. This is pretty much rule 1 of being in charge of a padawan. Do not hurt your padawan. Standard stuff…and Obi-wan broke it.

Anakin breathes and groans through it, still clutching his injured right side of his face.

“Y-Yeah-I’m…I’m ok-“ Anakin says as he tries to sit up. Obi-wan helps him and keeps a gentle but strong hold on the young man.

“Let me see Anakin-“ Obi-wan says, trying to push Anakin’s hand away from his face.

“No-you’re gonna touch it-“ Anakin whines.

“I won’t-I just need to see the damage-“ Obi-wan tells him. Anakin moves his hand and winces in pain as Obi-wan moves closer to inspect the sizzling line of flesh going over the young man’s right eyebrow and eye. His eye is red and irritated but isn’t bleeding or anything, still, Obi-wan frowns with concern.

“Can you still see?” Obi-wan asks, offering a hand, which Anakin gratefully takes.

“Y-yeah but it’s mostly one big spot from the light of your saber-“ Anakin explains as Obi-wan hauls him up to his feet.

“Let’s get you to the medwing and have a droid look you over,” Obi-wan says, gently guiding his padawan with both hands on Anakin’s shoulders.

“Obi-wan-I’m fine-it’ll heal-“ Anakin says.

“Then humor me,” Obi-wan insists. Anakin knows better than to argue, so he merely nods.

“Ok Master,” he replies quietly as he gingerly touches the skin around the burn slice.

“Don’t mess with it-“ Obi-wan gripes, slapping Anakin’s hand gently.

The two finally make it to the medbay and a droid motions them over.

“I am A-LN394, your assigned medical droid. I will scan you now,” he says, not even waiting for a reply.

“He wastes no time huh?” Anakin asks with a small chuckle as the droid’s scanner moves up and down his body.

“Droids,” Obi-wan shakes his head lightly.

“Scan complete. I’ve detected a small 1st degree burn on the right side of your face, please, hold still while I apply aloe ointment to aid in the healing process-“ the droid tells Anakin. The droid covers a bandage with a small amount of ointment before covering the sensitive, burned skin.

“You are lucky you were not blinded-“ the droid tells Anakin. Although the droid didn’t mean to, Obi-wan feels his heart clench at the droid’s words. He could’ve seriously hurt his padawan. The boy he promised his master he’d protect. Had Obi-wan hurt Anakin even worse than he did…he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself.

“Master?…Master!” Anakin says, getting Obi-wan’s attention.

“Hm? Oh-y-yes Anakin?” Obi-wan asks, snapping out of his spiraling thoughts.

“Are you ok?” Anakin asks him. Obi-wan blinks stupidly at his padawan’s question.

“Because you know it was an accident-right?” Anakin asks. Obi-wan sighs and nods.

“Still, I am sorry,” Obi-wan apologizes. Anakin gives his master a small crooked smile.

“Don’t worry Master, I’m ok. Really. Watto used to hurt me worse-“ Anakin replies off-handedly but stops when he realizes what slipped out of his mouth. Obi-wan blinks in surprise. Usually Anakin doesn’t want to talk about his past.

“Anakin, you are not a slave anymore. You are a Jedi-“ Obi-wan tells him.

“I know Master-“ Anakin glances away. Obi-wan looks at his padawan and decides not to push him. So the Jedi Master sighs wearily.

“Get some rest. You’ll need it for your studies tomorrow-“ Obi-wan tells Anakin as he walks out.

“What? But you said I had saber training all week-“

“I know what I said. Now I’m telling you something different. You’re off training until you heal,” Obi-wan says. Anakin sighs. Normally he would complain. But he knows that the extra saber training is just for him to get used to his new prosthetic hand. Anakin knows he’s already one of the best duelists out of all the padawans training to be knights.

“Yes Master,” Anakin says as Obi-wan walks out. The droid finishes wrapping the bandage covering his right eye.

“Your eye should completely heal within 2 weeks. If it becomes infected or you have any problems, please come back to me. Patient is finished, goodbye,” the droid says and goes back to cleaning up. Anakin sits up and slides off the bed before walking back to his quarters.

In the months that followed, Anakin was granted the rank of Jedi Knight and as such, has been given command over the 501st battalion. Anakin and Obi-wan are on their way to meet the head of the 501st, CT-7567.

“So, are you ready?” Obi-wan asks. Anakin nods.

“Of course Master, I’m ready for anything,” he says.

“Good because I heard from Commander Cody that your battalion…” Obi-wan trails off with a smirk. Anakin raises the eyebrow with the scar cutting through it.

“What? What about them?” Anakin asks.

“They’re loyal, brave men that have a tendency to…” Obi-wan tries to find the right words, “get into trouble.”

“Trouble?” Anakin asks. Obi-wan nods.

“And Master Yoda and Master Shaak Ti both agreed that the 501st would suit you perfectly,” Obi-wan says, earning a playful shove from Anakin.

“Oh they did huh?” The younger man asks.

They arrive at the hangar and spot a whole legion of clones standing at the ready. Most are in white armor but some do have blue paint on them. The clone in front has a blue upswept pauldron, black and blue trim kama at his waist and blue jaig eyes painted on his helmet.

“Attention!” The captain announces and everyone steps together in sync. Anakin watches on in awe. Obi-wan and Anakin walk up to the captain.

“Hello Captain,” Obi-wan greets happily.

“Hello General,” the captain replies. The formality and helmet hides the captain’s happiness well.

“Captain I’d like you to meet my padawan-“ Obi-wan says.

“I’m a Jedi Knight now Master-“ Anakin corrects.

“Yes, but you will always be my padawan,” Obi-wan argues calmly. The captain looks between the 2 jedi. The captain, being friends with Commander Cody, has heard all about General Kenobi and his padawan, Commander Skywalker. Though, he supposed it was General Skywalker now.

“This is Anakin Skywalker,” Obi-wan says. Anakin holds his hand out and the 2 shake hands firmly, though Anakin is careful with his grip.

“I am CT-7567, Captain Rex at your command General,” the captain, Rex as he’s called, salutes.

“Don’t do that around him too much Captain, you’ll give your new general a swelled head-“ Obi-wan warns, though the two are already not listening. Instead, Rex is introducing Anakin to a few other clones in the first line up.

“General, meet Jesse, Kix, Tup, Dogma, Hardcase, Ax, and Hawk, some of the best soldiers I’ve worked with and I’m proud to be their CO,” Rex introduces. They all stand at attention, making Anakin uncomfortable. He’s always been the padawan. The one to take orders, not to give them.

“Uh—at ease guys. No need for all that formal stuff with me,” Anakin tells them. The men look to Rex, unsure if he’s serious.

“Are uh…you sure General Skywalker?” Rex asks.

“Sure, whatever makes you guys feel comfortable,” Anakin assures his captain with a crooked smirk.

“Y-Yes sir,” Rex says, straightening. Anakin merely chuckles quietly before shaking his head lightly.

“You’re a lot like Commander Cody,” Anakin comments to Rex off-handedly. Rex nods.

“We’ve worked together for a long time. We trained together on Kamino,” Rex explains and Anakin nods.

“I’ll do my best to keep you and all your men safe Captain, I give you my word,” Anakin promises. Rex blinks at the young general’s sheer determination in his voice.

“I..Thank you, sir. I’m honored to fight this war with you and I hope my boys and I will earn your trust and respect,” Rex tells Anakin. The young general smiles and nods before turning to the one they call ‘Jesse’.

“So, you’re Jesse, right? You trained with Rex too?” Anakin asks.

“Yes sir. I’ve been lookin’ up to Rex my whole life…hope to make ARC trooper someday,” Jesse tells him. Anakin gives him a nod.

“I’ll be there when it happens,” Anakin tells Jesse, and the two share a determined smirk.

“And you? Hawk, isn’t it? You wanna be an ARC trooper too?” Anakin asks.

“No sir, I’m trained to be a pilot. I want to fly sir,” Hawk tells Anakin, who nods.

“I’ll make that happen-don’t worry,” Anakin assures the clone. Hawk looks to Jesse, who gives him a thumbs up.

As Anakin goes through the men Rex introduced him to, getting to know them, Obi-wan stands and watches, thinking to himself. Most Jedi do not do this. The Jedi know their commanders, their captains, but not every clone in their battalion. That’s why it was easier to assign the clones numbers. But Anakin is getting to know them as men, as people who have dreams, and likes and dislikes. They’re all currently gathered around the young man as Obi-wan watches silently.

“So General, do you mind if I ask you how you got that scar?” The one called Ax, asks. Obi-wan’s eyes widen as his memory assaults him. Flashes of what happened appear in his mind before hearing Anakin’s cry of pain echo in his head.

“Oh-this? I was on Geonosis when my Master and Senator Amidala were chained to this pole-“ Anakin begins to lie. Anakin knows Obi-wan is obsessing over his injury and the fact that it was he who gave Anakin his scar. Obi-wan hurries out while Anakin finishes the story with breaking out of the chains, killing the animals attacking them and the reinforcements coming to get them, missing his Master exiting the hangar to be alone.

Months pass though it’s just one long, seemingly endless battle to the Jedi. Brothers have become enemies as war raged around them. Their battle-weary soldiers turned on the Jedi and executed them. The last time Obi-wan had seen Anakin…Anakin-Anakin…was when he told his padawan to update the Chancellor while he was to report to the Council. He had seen him again…only…after reuniting with Master Yoda, did Obi-wan learn of Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. Holorecordings of the Temple showed Anakin, already turned, kill Younglings. Nearly all of the Jedi still at the Temple were killed by Anakin’s 501st battalion, thanks to the inhibitor chips implanted in every clones’ head. Anakin went to Mustafar to kill the remaining Separatists. Padmé, Anakin’s wife, tried to stop him, unaware Obi-wan snuck aboard her ship. Anakin, his in rage, mortally wounded his wife by Force-choking her, forcing Obi-wan to step in and battle his fallen padawan. Lava and heat…and anger. So much anger. Obi-wan was overwhelmed by it. Each block took everything out of the man as Anakin roared in frustration. Through the smoke of the collapsing facility, Obi-wan makes out Anakin’s face, his once sky-blue eyes are now a golden yellow, the eyes of the Sith. His scar accentuates his harsh glare and the anger that radiates from him.

Obi-wan sees his opening and leaps onto the black rocky glass that touches the river of lava.

“It’s over Anakin!!! I have the high ground!” Obi-wan warns once.

“You underestimate my power!” Anakin snarls back.

“Don’t try it!” Obi-wan begs.

“RAAAAUUUGHH!!!!” Anakin yells as he leaps. He flips just as Obi-wan swings. The sound of his lightsaber connecting with flesh pierces his ears before Anakin’s scream of pain.

“GAAAAHHHH!!!” Anakin screams as he tumbles to the ground, in pieces. Most of him, his torso, head, and right arm are still in tact while his legs, cut at mid-thigh, and left arm are smoldering where the lightsaber cut. Obi-wan shuts off his lightsaber as he watches his former padawan struggle and groan in pain. Obi-wan shuts his eyes angrily as his Master’s words echo in his mind.

“YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!!! IT WAS SAID THAT YOU’D DESTROY THE SITH-NOT JOIN THEM!! BRING BALANCE TO THE FORCE!!!! NOT LEAVE IT IN DARKNESS!!” Obi-wan yells at him as tears stream down his face. Quigon died for you, Obi-wan wanted to say, but he held his tongue. Anakin lifts his head to glare angrily at his former master.

“I HATE YOU!!!!” Anakin yells at him as he struggles.

“YOU WERE MY BROTHER ANAKIN!!! I LOVED YOU!!” Obi-wan yells back. The steep incline and Anakin’s struggling has actually made him closer to the river of lava and once he’s close enough, he starts screaming from the pain of the heat. That’s when what’s left of his thighs suddenly catch on fire.

“AAAUUUGHHHH!!! AAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!” Anakin screams as he’s burned alive. Obi-wan, watching the for the first couple seconds, eventually has to look away, unable to watch the man he considered to be his little brother, be in so much pain. He picks up Anakin’s deactivated lightsaber as flashes of that day in training intrude his mind. He takes a breath and hurries back to the ship to check on Padmé as Anakin’s screams being burned alive echo behind him.

Years pass. Both Skywalker twins have been placed in loving, but separate homes, for their own good. Obi-wan has decided to look after Luke since he knew Bail and his family were the safest place for Leia and wouldn’t be needed. How he was wrong. It was about 10 years until his friend, Senator Organa contacted him to help him rescue Leia. Obi-wan, begrudgingly obliged, and now, after finally getting the girl to a ship home, after getting so close, Darth Vader has stopped them. Obi-wan knew that Vader is only interested in him, so, Obi-wan chooses to fight him alone, instructing Haja, a trusted thief and Roken, a leader in the rebellion, to protect Leia. Obi-wan decided to take a small shuttle ship.

He finds a small, remote area and lands before waiting for Vader. Obi-wan sticks his hand in his pocket and feels something cold and metal. He pulls the object out and smiles when he sees it’s Lola, Leia’s droid pal. He puts the droid on the dashboard before heading out.

Obi-wan sees an Imperial ship land before it opens. Out walks a tall, menacing figure all in black. Buttons cover the chest plate and a black cape billows behind the masked figure and the sound of a ventilator happens every few seconds, indicating breathing.

“Have you come to destroy me, Obi-wan?” Vader asks.

“I will do what I must-“ Obi-wan says, igniting his blue lightsaber before dropping into his familiar stance, pointing 2 fingers at his former apprentice.

The two fight and at first, it seems neither will gain the upper hand. That is, until Vader manages to bury Obi-wan. The older man manages to stop from getting crushed by using the Force. Thoughts of Leia and even Luke flash through his mind. His love for his padawan may be gone, but the Obi-wan has love for his ‘brother’s’ children. And that’s what helped him get free. His love for Luke and Leia made him stronger. He raced after Vader, hoping to catch him before he left for the others, and luckily, he did, though his sneak attack didn’t quite work.

The former master and padawan duel until Obi-wan manages to slash the small beeping console on Vader’s chest.

“GAH!” Vader screams in pain though it sounds warped and distorted…robotic. Obi-wan takes his moment to slash Vader’s helmet, breaking it to expose what’s underneath.

Obi-wan watches in horror as Vader straightens to face him.

“Anakin,” Obi-wan’s breath catches in his throat. Tears form in his eyes and threaten to spill over when he sees what’s happened to his former brother.

“Anakin’s gone. I am what remains,” Vader responds, straightening. Obi-wan shakes his head ever so slightly.

“I’m sorry…I’m sorry Anakin…for all of it,” Obi-wan apologizes.

“I am not your failure, Obi-wan. You didn’t kill Anakin Skywalker…I did,” Vader tells the older man, his voice mixing with his robotic ventilator. Obi-wan’s watery, pleading look changes into pure sadness.

“Then my friend is truly dead,” Obi-wan realizes. He shuts off his lightsaber.

“Goodbye…Darth,” Obi-wan acknowledges Vader and walks away.

“Obi-wan!!!” Vader yells before collapsing to a knee. He watches Obi-wan leave, abandoning him again.

“OBI-WAAAAAAN!!!!!!” Vader screams as Obi-wan leaves him behind. All Obi-wan can think of, is how sorry he is.

End

[popculturebuffet]

Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: “Morpholomew” (American Dragon Long): Stop Trying to Make Am Drag a Thing (Commisson Done For WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people! And welcome to a brand new retrospective/story arc/thing from yours truly, comissoned directly by WeirdKev27. If you’d like to comission your own review or set of reviews like this one, it’s 5 bucks. Just contact me via my ask box or direct messages on this very blog or my discord technicolormuk#6550.

With Shadow Into Light in the books, Kev decided he wanted to comission something not duck related and a bit smaller as a buffer before the next big arc, ALL of three arcs from season 2 of Ducktales, and decided to go with something he suggested to be a while back as a possible future retrospective: The Lilo and Stitch Crossover episodes! 

That’s right for the next three weeks, with TWO reviews this week since I had a spot open up and Kev paid for this one in full and way in advance, we’ll be taking a trip to Hawaii to visit everyone’s faviorte little girl, her best friend/pet/killing machine as they try to find homes for his 625 cousins. 

I loved Lilo and Stitch when I was a kid: Disney admitely got their hooks in me on that one with their cool prequel comics in disney adventures. These comics set up the movie, showing Jumba creating Stitch and the events leading up to both getting captured. The movie did not disapoint with cool character designs, a drop dead gorgeous recreation of Hawaii, and a really heartfelt, heartbreaking and heartpumping story of loss, family, and ving rahmes voicing one of the few heroic child services workers i’ve seen in a medium, a refreshing change of pace. The film is a masterpiece and I really do need to watch it again sometime. 

Given the series was a huge hit and that thsi was before the big lull in the late 2000′s and early 2010′s where Disney refused to make any tv shows based on their movies, a series followed, given a lead in by the direct to video movie Stitch.

The movie set up the basic premise; 624 capsules containing Jumba’s previous experiments, cousins as Stitch calls them, ended up raining over Kauai, awakening when dropped into water or any other liquid. Lilo and Stitch, with help from Jumba, his live in boyfriend Pleakley, her tought but fair sister Nani, and her boyfriend David, who dosen’t show up as much as i’d like but is my boy so he gets a mention here. But anyways our heroes try to reform the various engines of distructoin who all have unique powers and find them their one place they truly belong. 

So yes the show was a Mons-type show clearly captalizing off pokemon.. but the slice of life setting as opposed to the shonen style of most shows following in pokemon’s wake, gave it it’s own unique feel: while our heroes did fight, it was more about shenanigans, adventures and what not with these unique creatures and the purpose is very heartflet: Lilo simply wants to give these guys the same kind of love and support she’s given Stitch and a chance to do good. 

Opposing them is Gantu, the shark bounty hunter from the first film who, now out of a job, is working for Dr. Hamstervile, an imprisoned sceintest and a character I really don’t like that much as he’s not funny or a genuine threat or both and feels like a waste of time. Thankfully he’s not the focus and Gantu is instead partnered with 625, my faviorite Lilo and Stitch character. 625, as the name suggests, is stitch’s immediate prototype.. but unlike Stitch is too lazy and peaceful to be a real threat and isn’t even really a villian despite being on Gantu’s side. He’s busy making samwitches, his calling to the point when he gets a name in the finale movie it’s naturally Ruben, and snarking at gantu. He’s sadly not in this one but hopefully it’s JUST this one. 

As you can tell I liked this show a LOT at the time. I haven’t watched it since, mostly because disney scarely replayed it after it’s run, but it was vibrant, fun and intresting and a nicely laidback and creative take. The fact I came into the franchise with the comics and thus 625, who was introduced there in fact, and had a hunger to know more about the other experiments certainly helped. It was great fun. 

But while I grew up with the show and the four shows it teamed up with, i’ve never seen these episodes before these reviews. I wondered why for years as I caught the tail end of the kim possible one and saw images ocasionally, but never saw them. 

Turns out it’s because in general Season 2 got screwed over. While Season 1 was pushed out the door fast and aired at a rapid pace Season 2.. was portioned out over several years, and the Recess crossover one, the last one aired and the last one i’ll be covering never even got to Disney channel, only airing on ABC kids, DIsney’s saturday morning block at the time I rarely watched. I did watch it’s predecessor one saturday morning though. Good stuff. 

Since I couldn’t find any making of stuff for why these episodes happened, my best guess is DIsney wanted some cross promotion, and the shows used were chosen because they were the most popular at the time and honestly all 4 represent some of disney’s best, with Recess being in heavy reruns at the time, hence i’ts conclusion despite the show being finished before Lilo And Stitch the movie came out, let alone the series. 

So yeah i’m taking this ride for the first time.. but I was happy to. While Kev pays for a lot of my work, I still have to accept the idea.. and this was a great one. It allows me to cover 5 amazing series and gage how much people would want to see reviews of said series on this blog in one fell swoop.

So to kick us off we have American Dragon: Jake Long, a series I waited forever to come to Disney + as I loved it at the time, badly need to rewatch it (Been busy ), and find it genuinely great: It’s a great teen superhero story about the magical protector of new york, with a charming lead, a great setting and horrifcally great villians in the violently racist magic creature hunting huntsclan.. and their top agent who happens to be jake’s love intrest Rose. It’s really excellent and i’m glad it’s now widely avaliable for all to see. I will say ahead that all four shows in this crossover arc are excellent, and were fine choices for this. 

So what happens when an action comedy about a hip hop teenage dragon meets a slice of life show about aliens? Find out under the cut. 

So we open at a fancy hotel where Lilo’s bringing lunch to her sister Nani when she runs into.. Keoni Jameson. 

The second I remembered this kid all the hate just came flooding back, coursing through my veigns. Just pure liquid hatred for this little perosnalitiless little punk. Keoni is Lilo’s crush and local “stupid white audience stand in”. He has no real personality other than “generic cool kid” and “likes skating”, and just sucks the air out of the room anytime he’s in an episode. Keoni is part of a recurring problem in cartoons across the ages, one that’s slowly going away: the bland love intrest. Intorducing a character whose only traits are being cool for the lead to fawn over with usually no intent of either getting the two togehter or just ending it. IT’s annoying, it was in a good chunk of my childhood, I wish it’d stop. I cannot tell you how many shows used this trope. There were exceptions, American Dragon Jake Long actually used it well by not only making Rose a fleshed out character..  but making her jake’s nemisis in their other lives, and thus making things increidbly difficult on both once the truth comes out, with Jake grappling with if he can trust her or not and Rose grappling with the slow relization eveyrthing she was taught her whole life was wrong.

And again I have seen GOOD storylines using this as a tool: Dipper and Wendy ended with her having been aware teh whole time, but simply not knowing how to let him down given the age gap, and Regular Show rebounded the best from it: it turned the stop and start relatoinshpi of Mordecai and Margret’s relationship into a character flaw for him, openly explored it.. and ended up having him work past it and actually date her for a bit. Before she moved away, he got an even better love interest, then they destoryed the relationship in the worst way posisble and I wil lbe getting to that at some point. Some point. 

So yeah even at the time it was done better, hindsight haas only made it worse and it made watching the first few minutes tough because I had to keep pasuing because I hate him so damn much. He just adds NOTHING to the show and is a blank yanwing void from which no good came out of and I was terrified he’d be in the rest of the episode. Thankfully while he drives the plot he’s only in this scene.. but it’s still one more scene than both 625 and Pleakly got. yeah both are missing, as is nani. 

I did uncover one fun fact that made things a bit easier though: The crew ALSO hated Keoni. No really. Disney forced the character on them as they wanted an audience surrogate, and this abomination is what popped out. They DID NOT want him here and likely only used him as mcuh as they did because Disney forced it on them. And Disney would NOT learn from this as Star Vs got saddled with Alphonso and Ferguson soley because of network mandate. The two aren’t TERRIBLE characters but they aren’t great and feel as tacked on as they were. And part of this does fall on the crew: you CAN twist a stupid mandate like this to work well: Joe Murray was asked to add “A female character with a hook”, as in some sort of dumb gimmick to Rocko. He used those words, meant to create a superfical girl power cardboard cutout.. and created the wonderful Dr. Hutchenson, a bright cheery doctor, the series best sidecharacter.. and someone with a hook hand. But I won’t go too hard on them: they probably didn’t have as much room to manuver and the fact Keoni was sitll being shoved into episodes in season 2 tells me they likely had a set number of episodes he had to show up. I’m suprised they didn’t demand they have characters ask “Where’s Keonie?” any time he wasn’t in an episode. He was unecessary and it comes across with a massive chunk of unforutnate implications: that they didn’t think a series with a mostly hawaiann cast would work, that they wanted at least one other “nice” white character to offset myrtle instead of having the only major white character be a bully and antagonist, and that they thought tehir mostly white audience coudln’t enjoy a series without a white character, which as someone who was in the target demo at the time, I call bullshit on. As I said I hated him then, I hate him now and his involvement is the worst aspect of this episode. 

So after Lilo fawns over him for a bit we find out this chonk of wood’s purpose in the episode: to set up the plot. There’s a massive Skate Competition coming to town with the prize being a really cool skateboard.  This plot point itself.. I don’t mind. Jake is a skater, it’s part of his character and one of the things he loves doing in what minsicule spare time he has. And while it was a common trope at the time having a character skateboard really dosen’t harm most works. We’ve gotten great characters like Jake, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Branwen and Ronnie Anne Santiago out of it, and it feels like natural parts of the character, and frankly An Extremley Goofy Movie wouldn’t be NEARLY as awesome without having skateboarding bizzarley attached to the plot via the college x-games. Granted somtimes you get Rocket Power out of the deal but that’s the price you pay for the good stuff. I only regret it’s involved because Keoni has to be there and I had to pause multiple times to get through his scene. He’s just a sampler platter of terrible decisions made in 2000′s cartoons and he irritates me more than this guy. 

And anyone whose read my Loud House reviews can tell you that is a high bar to clear. 

So naturally Lilo wants to enter the Hawiann X-Games to get the board for Keoni. Though I will give the writers credit for having Stitch voice their thoughts and the audiences thoughts by having him take Keoni’s picture and throw it in the garbage. Where he belongs. 

Lilo’s not great at it as they practice.. and said practice naturally ends up waking up a new experiment, 316.. who i’m just going to go ahead and call Morpholomew. Stitch eventually catches him though like many of the experiments he’s not actively malevelolent and is easy enough to get home. 

Jumba gets to his schitck of breaking down what the experiment of the week does: In this case Morpholomew is  a shapeshifter though he has a VERY intresting twist on those powers: while he can naturally morph himself into anything he’s seen or has a picture of, he can do the same to anyone he touches. It dosen’t effect their voices, but otherwise it’s a perfect recreation. 

So Lilo instead of finding him a home right away.. decides to wait until after the compettition because we need him for the plot. 

So at the Skateboard Competittion Lilo tries to enter, but finds she’s too young.. but since she has a picture of Keoni, which is a nice way to use her photo hobby from the movie for plot reasons and thus dosen’t feel like an ass pull. Why Keoni’s not in town to skate is as his dad left because it’d be too crowded.. even though the event is at the resort he owns. 

So while Lilo commits identtity theft, our guest star appears. He’s cool, he’s hot like a frozen son, he’s young and fast he’s the chosen one, people i’m not braggin, i’ts the American Dragon. Jake is here for two reasons: the first is that Grandpa Long got reports of magical creatures out in the open, so naturally they need to look into that. It’s a clever way to get him, along with Grandpa, Fu, Trixie and Spud, over to Hawaii. The Dragon Council would defintely be suspcious hearing about this, and my guess to why they hadn’t sent another dragon over is they simply dont’ have one on the islands. As for why the Huntsclan didn’t get involved in any way, it’s simply too public for them.  With the magical community in new york, they don’t have to worry about exposure because neither side wants it, so neither side can out the other. Here with a bunch of creatures out in the open it runs the risk of the Hunstclan being dragged into the light.. and given the populace dosne’t care about the “magical creatures” alongside them, it would make them look like the monsters they are. 

Spud and Trixie tagging along also makes sense besides “they needed them for the plot”: While they’d obviously want to come to Hawaii, the skate competition is likely Jake’s cover for why he’s there, as well as one for why it’s just him and grandpa going with a couple of his friends so they don’t have to deal with manuvering around jake’s dad. That sad them never TELLING jake’s Dad is it’s own can of worms as it feels cruel, made things harder for jake and there was no real reason not to. At worst he’d want Jake to stop for his own saftey but given ther’es an active threat in  the huntsclan for the first season and a half, NOT helping people would be the right thing and I feel he’s a sensible enough man to understand eventually. 

And it’s stuff like this that already makes this crossover really work for me: they don’t really have to strain to get Jake over there or tell the audience heavily, the blanks fill in themslves. Or I am but that’s because it’s my job and I love doin it. 

So everyone goes off to their corners; Jake to do a few practice runs, Foo Dog to bet on his friend because of course, Trixie and Spud to go to the beach (even though Spud’s terrified of sharks so I question why Trixie needs him for this), and in a delightfully adorable subplot, finds a lady to woo: local fruit stand vendoer and crankly old lady Mrs. Hasagawa. 

I am here for this subplot: While Grandpa not focusing on the mission is weird for him that’s the entire point.. and their just really cute together. He’s smitten with her entirely because he sees her chewing out one of the people running the contest for making her sign too small. And he performs one hell of a romantic gesture by, while everyone’s back is turned, using his dragon fire to make an add for her on the skate ramp itself, and they have a lovely montage of their time together.. which also weirdly includes grandpa using his dragon fire on stage inf ront of everyone which makes no sense for his charcter but is so cute and does feature david I really don’t care. The writers of Lilo and Stitch probably weren’t deeply familiar with the show and likely just wanted a fun gag. Could be wrong there but it’s cute. He continues to act grossly out of character by trying to avoid going home at the end.. but again I find it simply because he’s in love, they have genuine chemstiry and I like to think they stayed in touch and he retired out there at some point once Jake was old enough to handle things himself. This may not be a ship I expected to support going in but I will die for it going out. 

So back to the main plot, Lilo uses Keoni’s body to imitate him which... she’s only loosely called out on and realizes is bad by the end only because she gets stuck in another body. And that’s not even getting into the fact she BREAKS UP WITH KEONI’S GIRLFRIEND. Yes really.. she just does that to get her out of the way. She comes around and realizes she was wrong and tries to fix it which would be fine.. if hte episode didn’t try to cop it out by revealing “Oh she’s not his girlfriend, she’s just someone who keeps telling people that”. It just feels lazy and dumb and a way to keep Lilo’s crush on Keoni for reasons I DO. NOT. GET. But the identity theft is just brushed aside by everyone: Keoni never finds out, and Jake just brushes it off. The real issue is more her trying to bribe keoni into likng her which while something kids need to learn is not the only thing she did wrong here. It feels like they didn’t think all the implications out here and it hampers the episode

Speaking of which as Gantu captures Jake, he sees him transform into dragon mode and assumes he’s the experiment, Jake’s charactization is pretty shallow.  And why yes it DOES feel weird writing sentences about a character with the same name thank you for asking. I wasn’t expecting a deep character piece or anything: This is a guest spot, the writers here are not the same normal ones for American Dragon. That’s fine. The problem.. is that they clearly did not get Jake. Grandpa being partly out of character is half the joke, Trixie actually gets a really nice moment towards the end, and Spud.. is eh. But out of them Jake just feels like a basic character description: He likes hip hop, he likes skateboards, he calls himself Am Drag despite that sounding like a good name for a drag act but a terrible name to shorten your title, he fights.. that’s it. 

While jake is all of that in the main series, he’s also a kind young man who while sometimes irresponsible does the right thing when the chips are down.  He’s someone weighed down by a responsiblity he didn’t ask for, often makes his life more difficult and often finds himself in trouble because his mother and grandfather won’t bother to tell his dad he’s a dragon. Yes that part still bothers me, and I don’t see why we couldn’t just have a superhero show where both parents know. But regardless this just dosen’t feel like Jake , like they just watched the intro and that was it. Jake feels more like a plot device in his own crossover. 

That being said there is some good stuff: The minute Jake realizes some Sci Fi stuff is going on instead of hte normal magic stuff he tells him “The am drag’s show isn’t about sci fi” a nice meta bit and then breaks out. Meanwhile Lilo takes on his form.. and ends up stuck after badly botching her run again, as Gantu finds the real shapeshifter. 

We get the best stretch of the episode from here though: Lilo awkardly tries to play jake and like jake we get a nice meta nod to how diffrent their show is as she’s worried about his belief in magical creatures.. and is startled out of her charade when Foo Dog talks, a really nice bit especially since it’s tame compared to the weirdness he deals with. Spud and Trixie have questions... only for Jake to show up and his agressive behavior leads to the best bit of the episode: Jake Vs Stitch. The catlyst is understandable: jake has no idea why Lilo’s taken his identity and Sttich is just protecting his best friend from harm. The animation is fluid, the fight is fun and quick and uses both’s powers stellarl. Whle “two heroes get into a misunderstanding and then fight” is a well worn cliche at this point, it’s moments like this that show why: you get to see two heroes who in this case never have interacted before or sense, duke it out, why each is special and it’s fun to watch. 

Lilo breaks it up, and admits to the whole thing.. including the whole give Keani the board stuff. While Jake and Spud, being awkard with girls and a loveable moron don’t see the problem with that Trixie gets a moment to shine. As far as I can remember she really didn’t get much on the show proper so it was a nice suprise to see her mentor lilo her, telling her trying to give someone gifts to love you is not okay, she should just be herself all that good stuff. It’s a nice character stuff and tha’ts the kind of character interaction this episode needed more of. 

With the misunderstandings washed away our heroes team up and storm gantu’s ship leading to another great sequence as Stitch rides on Jake’s back while the two keep him busy and Lilo gets turned back, Trixie complimenting her dress “Thanks I have 10 just like it at home”. It’s such a sweet and genuine moment” They head back out and gantu semeingly grabs morpholmew from where they hide.. only to find out when he gets back it’s spud, our adorable little blob monster transforming Gantu into a bunny and our heroes leaving. How does Gantu get out of being a bunny?

But it’s a nice enough gag. So we end the episode. We get another nice gag as grandpa had himself and his lady transformed to try and avoid going home, and Jake is fine with having lost out on the board what matters is he made a friend. Sadly we did not get a followup in ADJL., but spud does name our experiment, Morpholomew. 

We end on Morph getting his home: a costume shop where he gets paid in fried chicken, he was shown to enjoy it throughtout the episode and changes people into things. It’s a nice little button to the episode and one of the funnest parts of the show was figuring out where the experiment would end up at the end. 

Final Thoughts:

This episode is a really mixed bag. There is some good character interactions, two tremendous fight scens and Trixie gets a chance to shine for once if only for a scene or two, and the clashing genres end up making for some great jokes> The shows do go well together as while Lilo and Stitch is more laid back both have slice of life elements. And hasgawa X Grandpa is just oto cute for words. 

The episode is held back by Jake and Lilo’s lackluster characterizatons: Jake is simply the theme song as a character, which in theory is awesome because that theme song slaps but in practice is pretty lame, and Lilo is selfish and irresponsible even for her in a way that dosen’t feel at all convincing. It drags down what’s otherwise a fun crossover and Morpholomew is truly a unique and wonderful experiment. Still if you like either show it’s worth a watch even if you have to suffer through Keoni for it. It’s worth it.. I just wish it was better and hopefully the next 3 will keep the good parts but take out the bad. Granted this was produced last so I could be wrong, but here’s hoping.  Oh this episode also featured Miranda Cosgrove as the girl who claims to be Keoni’s girlfriend. This is also Keoni’s last episode meaning I do NOT have to worry about accidently running into him. Thank fucking christ. 

Next Time On American Dragon Jake Long: Jake’s dad drags him and his friends on a camping trip and Jake ends up encountering the Jersey Devil. Now all they need is a sexy lady devil cake to lure it out... what it worked for the Cake Boss. And yes that happened, Allison Pregler did an episode on that episode. Check it out. 

Next Time On Lilo and Stitch Crossovers: It’s the family, the family, proud familllyyy as the Prouds take a vacation at Peakly and Jumbas bed but not breakfast and we get some kind of squirrel demon for our experiment of the week. We also get Wizard Kelly appearing...

See you at the next rainbow. 

[purplesurveys]

1414

survey by joybucket

Who do you know who makes the best French toast? I don’t really eat French toast all that often. The only one I’ve tried is my dad’s, and of course he makes amazing ones. I’d never actively ask him to make them though; sweet flavors on bread isn’t my thing.

What was the last thing you ate that had cheese on it? My mom fried cheesesticks for me this afternoon while I was working.

What is your favorite pizza parlor? We don’t have a lot of those here since most pizza places are fast food joints, but there is a nearby restaurant called Sundays that makes really good pizza. They have this five cheese bechamel variant that I order all the time.

Name three things you like about winter. I’ve never experienced winter but from what I’ve seen, I think I would really enjoy the snow, the darker sky, and being comfy in thick bulky clothes.

Is winter your favorite season? It is just because it’s always looked appealing to me. I could be wrong though!

Do you know anyone whose favorite season is winter, and if yes, who? I doubt it, barely anyone I know has experienced snow/winter.

What is the most frustrating thing that's happened to you recently? WORK. I want to fucking resign every fucking day lmao.

Are you happy today? Eh. I’m not overly happy, but I don’t feel heavy either. I’d count that as a win.

Who is someone you've been enjoying watching on YouTube recently? I just watch Good Mythical Morning or BTS clips made by various content creators these days.

What's your favorite song at the moment? I haven’t been listening to music lately, so I don’t have any.

Are your hands dry right now? Yep.

Do you own pajamas with llamas on them? Super random hahaha, but no.

Would you ever wear hot pink cat-eye glasses? Unless I have a reason to wear one, nah.

What is something you've been undecided about recently, if anything? Staying at my job. I’m pretty much set on leaving, but I do want to accomplish one or two big things as a manager first just so I can have something to be proud of once I do. We’ll see; I tend to never follow through on things I want to do hahaha.

How often do you use the toaster? We don’t even have one.

Have you ever made a dreamcatcher? I’ve never made one but I’ve owned a couple in the past.

If applicable, what color boombox did you have as a kid? I also didn’t have a boombox.

Would you rather dress up as a zombie or a unicorn for Halloween? Zombie. I was never a fan of the whole unicorn trend haha.

Who was the last of your friends to have a baby? None of my friends have had kids yet.

What's the most ridiculous thing you've heard lately? Just a bunch of fake news that always comes out of the political scene. Nothing really stands out at the moment.

Can you see snow out your window right now? No and I never will.

What are three of your favorite things to do when it snows? :/

Have you ever contemplated shaving your head, and if so, why? No, the thought has never occurred to me.

What types of cancer are in your family? I don’t know. We don’t like talking about cancer or at least my mom likes dodging the subject, so I’m not super aware of my family’s history with cancer or if we even have one to begin with.

What color socks are you wearing? I’m not wearing any socks at the moment.

Which cartoon character looks the most like you? Diane Nguyen.

Which family member did you get your height from? My mom.

Do you believe in the supernatural? Nope.

What color looks the worst on you? ORANGE. Brown and teal are also a little meh on me.

What year were you born? 1998.

Do you own a pair of plaid pants? Nopes but I wore a plaid skirt for years when I attended private school from kinder to high school.

Which TV channel did you watch the most as a kid? Nickelodeon and Disney Channel. I really only just watched Cartoon Network for Powerpuff Girls and Pokemon.

Who is your favorite cousin? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, who is more like an older brother than a cousin to me and my siblings at this point. We grew up together soooo we’re super close to this day.

Do you prefer black tea, herbal tea, or green tea? No tea.

What do you think of hypnosis? Do you believe in it? Eh, not a believer.

What's your favorite fast food restaurant? KFC. Is Popeye’s a fast food restaurant? I’d count it as a favorite too.

What would a Lisa Frank version of you look like? Idk, don’t really care.

If you had to choose a country to live in besides your own, which country would you choose? Canada or New Zealand.

What's the most dangerous thing that's happened to you recently? Erm, nothing too crazy. I was out driving at like 1 AM last Sunday if that counts as dangerous.

What color ink did the last pen you wrote with have? Purple, I believe it was.

Have you ever had a friend with the same name as you? Nope. I’d be amazed if that happened; my name isn’t super super common.

Do you think you look better with long hair or short hair? Shorter, but not short.

What are three things you are thankful for? Having a home, always having something to eat, my friends.

What did the last mask you wore look like? Uh, a face mask haha. It was a pink BT21-themed face mask with all the characters on it.

Did you wear a mask today? Nah, I didn’t head out today so didn’t need to.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Nopes.

Do you ever find youtube's video recommendations annoying? Well not really. I have an account so the recommendations are usually set to my interests already.

Which did you have first: Myspace or Facebook? Myspace, even though I never used it.

What color was your nursery when you were a baby? I have no clue actually.

Do you prefer canoeing or kayaking? Kayaking.

When was the last time you went kayaking? The first and only time I’ve done it was back in 2015, when I was in Palawan.

Do you have anyone you can trust? Sure.

What color is/was the last carpet you sat on? Grey.

Do you have a rug in your room? Nope.

What was the name of the first college dorm you lived in? I’ve never stayed in a dorm.

[youreacowgirllikeme]

Blind Date

 

Note: just an idea I had, hope you like it. some soft fluffiness, but also smut bc I’m still h word for Jake, especially after how he looked tonight on tv.

Pairing: Jake Tapper x reader

 Warnings: smut, NSFW

 

(sorry for eventual typos, I wrote this in a bit of a frenzy)

enjoy

 

“You look horrible. “Abby stated matter-of-factly as she sat down in the restaurant chair across from you.

 “I missed you too, great to see you, thanks. “you responded, not even bothering to argue with her.

Abby was your best friend since college, if she said you looked horrible it was either a joke or a fact. Considering the way she was looking at you, probably the latter.

“Hard week at work?”

 You let out a tired huff.

“You have no idea. We got this new client who booked us for a nation-wide tv ad, and they’re so incredibly demanding. I’ve been working overtime for three weeks straight, it’s a miracle they didn’t call me in today.”

Your monthly Saturday brunch with Abby was sacred, work be damned.

Your friend was giving you a worried look across the table. “Well, I’m glad they didn’t, you deserve a day off.”

 “Enough of my sad life, how is it going over at Fake News?” you joked.

 “Amazing actually. You won’t believe it, but I’ve heard through the grapevine that they’re thinking about offering me John’s Sunday spot on Inside Politics. Can you imagine, my own hour, as an actual anchor. It’s nothing official yet, but I’m so excited.”

 “Oh my god, Abby, that’s awesome. I’m so proud of you. We should celebrate.” you exclaimed, beckoning a waiter to order two glasses of champagne.

 Abby gave you a warm smile.
“Thank you, babe. But let me be honest, I’m worried about you. You look exhausted, even your voice sounds tired. When was the last time you did something actually relaxing?”

 “I’ve watched a movie, like, a week ago. And I do yoga, at least sometimes.” You tried to argue, not entirely sure if you wanted to convince Abby or yourself.

 A smirk settled over your friend’s face, and she looked at you like she just had the most brilliant idea ever. You did not like that look at all, it usually meant trouble.

 “Well todays your lucky day, because I know just what you need to de-stress a bit.”

 You just raised an eyebrow at her. 
“Care to elaborate, genius?”

 “You, my friend, need to get laid.”

You snorted. “Fun times, Abbs, you almost got me,”


“I’m serious, Y/N, when was the last time you had sex?”

“Okay, it’s been a while, but I’m fine. I don’t need a man to interfere with the little free time I have. And it’s not like the streets are full of men chasing me. I don’t have time to date, and, like I said, I’m totally fine with the way things are at the moment.” You tried your very best not to sound defensive. 

The expression on Abby’s face told you everything you needed to know. She didn’t buy a single word coming out of your mouth.
“Y/N, trust me when I tell you, blowing off a little steam would do wonders for your stress level. And maybe you’d even meet someone nice. And, lucky for you, I know just the guy. He’s someone I work with, and I think you’d get along perfectly.”

 “You’re not actually suggesting setting me up on a blind date.” You couldn’t believe your friend. The last thing you needed was an evening full of awkward small talk with some boring, sleek CNN guy.

 “Come on, Y/N, take a leap of faith. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”

+++

 (One week later)

 “I can’t believe I actually agreed.” You murmured to yourself as you rummaged through your closet, looking for an outfit to wear on that damned date Abby bullied you into.

You thought about the peaceful evening you could have had, curled up on the sofa with a glass of wine, maybe getting some work done.

But it was too late to back down now.

 “Let’s just get this over with” you told yourself, applying some lipstick as if it was war paint. “Let’s hope that the guy is at least good-looking.”

 The restaurant Abby sent you to was nice enough, a small and intimate place, perfect for a date. You couldn’t wait to have your first glass of wine, because you could feel your nervousness increasing with each passing minute.

You entered the restaurant, looking for the third table on the window side that Abby had described to you…and directly turned around, practically fleeing through the door again as soon as you set eyes on the man sitting there.

 Back outside, you took your phone out of your bag and furiously dialed Abby’s number. She picked up right away, but you were shouting at her before she could even say a word.

“You better tell me that you did not set me up with Jake fucking Tapper.”

Was she out of her mind? This was the Jake Tapper, the face of CNN, hell, the face of the media in this country. What the fuck were you supposed to talk to him about.

But your friend just chuckled at you through the phone.
“When you saw him on TV some months ago, you said he was your type. Plus, he’s intelligent, funny, and single. Perfect for you. And now stop making a fool out of yourself and go in there. You got this, girl. Love you, bye.”
And with that, she hung up.

 You took a deep breath and tried to calm your nerves. You could not just leave now, and stand up Mr. Breaking News himself. So you pocketed your phone again, squared your shoulders and went back into the restaurant.

You made your way over to the table, coming to a stop in front of it. The man sitting there looked up to you and smiled. And wow, what a beautiful smile it was, sincere, warm and inviting, taking over his entire face.

“Hi.” You said, trying to sound confident.

“I’m Y/N, Abby’s friend.”

 

“It’s so nice to meet you, I’m Jake. I’m working with Abby, but she probably already told you that much.”

“She did, but I’ll be honest, I know you, of course. Big fan of your show.”

God, why did you just say that. He was probably going to think you were some kind of crazy fangirl now.

 But he just continued to smile his open, friendly smile at you.
“Always happy to hear that.” He chuckled, pointing to the opposite chair. “Do you want to sit down?”

 “Yes, of course, sorry.” You said, feeling silly because you totally forgot that you were still standing. You quickly sat down and tried your best to appear calm and collected, even if your insides were in turmoil.

 “Would you care for some wine? They have a pretty impressive list, I could pick one for us if you don’t mind.” Jake asked.

 “Wine sounds fantastic. I love it, but I’m not really an expert, so go ahead.”

 Jake took some reading glasses out of the pocket of his suit jacket and put them on his nose. 
While he was studying the wine list, you took your time to study him instead. He appeared to be in his late forties, so there was an age difference of probably 15 to 20 years. You didn’t mind that at all, older men had always been more your type.

He had a really handsome face, kind eyes that looked even better when he had those glasses on, and you loved his salt-and-pepper hair. He was wearing a light blue dress shirt with a dark grey suit jacket. You caught your mind wandering to how he might look underneath his clothes and gave yourself a mental slap on the wrist. This was your first date, no need to get ahead of yourself.

“Everything alright over there?”

 Shit, he had caught you staring.

 “Yes, sorry, I zoned off for a moment. I had a stressful week at work.”

“Oh, yes, Abby told me you’re working in advertising. Any interesting projects at the moment?”

You went on and chatted about work a bit. You were fascinated by what he was doing, and taken aback by the confident, yet humble way he was talking about it. This was absolutely not the behavior you were expecting from the leading anchorman of the nations most renowned network. He wasn’t arrogant or self-centered at all and you were definitely charmed.

The wine Jake ordered arrived with your starters, and soon after you had your first few sips you felt some of the initial nervousness fading away.

Soon, the conversation was flowing freely, and you discovered that Abby was right, you really did get along perfectly. Jake was incredibly funny in a dry and witty way and his sarcastic remarks made you laugh more than once. You also discovered your shared interest in graphic novels and argued a while about weather DC or Marvel was the superior comic universe.

Jake showed you one of his own cartoons on his phone, and with each moment you found yourself more drawn to the man in front of you.
At some point his hand started to lightly brush against yours on the table, and each touch sent a warm feeling through your chest.

You talked some more over dessert, had some more wine and overall, a really good time.

The alcohol gave you a pleasant, fuzzy feeling, and the desire to just get up and crawl on Jakes lap grew with each look he gave you.

 “Excuse me, Ma’am, Sir, were closing up now.” A passing waiter told you and put the check on the table.

 “Let me take care of that, please.” Jake said, taking out his wallet. You just thanked him and enjoyed the view of him putting on his glasses again to read the check.

 He really was a perfect gentleman, you thought to yourself, as he got up to hold your coat and then the door for you on your way out.


“I really had a wonderful evening.” you said softly, as the both of you were standing on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. Jake shot you another one of his brilliant smiles, and you could feel your heart beating faster.
“Me too.” He replied. “I really enjoyed spending time with you, and I’d like to see you again.”

Now your heart was almost jumping out of your chest, and you could feel your own smile taking over your face.
“I’d love that.”

 Jake took one step closer, now standing so close you could almost feel the warmth radiating off his body. One of his hands came up to tuck a lock of hair behind your ear, his thumb slowly stroking over your jaw. His touch sent goosebumps all over your skin, and you slightly parted your lips, looking him directly in the eyes. They were warm, and dark, and you felt like you could get lost in them. And then he leaned down and pressed a kiss to your mouth.

It felt incredible, a kind of warmth that was totally unrelated to the wine spreading through your body, your skin prickling where his hand was still on your face.

You put your hands on his arms and kissed him back, enjoying the feeling of his soft lips against yours. He still tasted slightly like red wine, and you wanted nothing more than to explore the rest of his body with your mouth just as thoroughly.

 First date, you reminded yourself, and broke free from the kiss before your lust-clouded brain could make you do something you might regret later. You glanced up at Jake, who looked at you with an unreadable expression. Then, after what felt like forever, he finally spoke.

“Could I maybe have your number?”

 

“Of course.” You said, with maybe a bit much enthusiasm, but Jake didn’t seem to mind. You quickly typed your number into his phone, and just as you were finished, the cab you had called earlier was arriving.

Jake held the door open for you, and shot you one last, beautiful smile. “Good night, Y/N, get home safe.”

“Thank you for the wonderful evening, Jake. Good night.”

 You closed the door and the taxi drove off. You already missed his face as soon as he was out of sight, and you turned around to watch his receding figure through the rear window of the taxi.

Great, you were already down bad after one date. The man really got to you, and you desperately hoped that you would hear from him soon.

 As soon as you were home, you really felt the effects of the wine, so you quickly went to bed to get some sleep. Just before you were nodding off, you sent Abby a quick message.

 

You were right, he is perfect. THANKS xxxx

 

When Abby answered five minutes later, you were already asleep.

 Told you so ;) xxxx

+++

 When you woke up the next morning, there was a new message from an unknown number on your phone. Your heart made a flip in your chest, and you opened it as fast as you could.

 

Hi, this is Jake. It’s probably way too soon to text you, but I just wanted to let you know, again, what a great time I had yesterday. If you’d be up to it, I’d really like to see you again soon. Let me know if that would be alright with you. And have a nice Saturday :)

 

He had already texted you. That meant he didn’t think that you were crazy, or awkward, and that he wasn’t just acting nice, he genuinely wanted to see you again. You were filled with a giddy sort of happiness, and decided to answer him right away, there was no need to play any games here. Leap of faith, just like Abby said.

 

Good Morning Jake, I really enjoyed yesterday as well. I’d love to spend some more time together; would tomorrow evening be too spontaneous? I could make dinner, to return the favor since you paid yesterday ;) my place at eight?

 

As soon as you hit the send button you started getting anxious again. What if tomorrow was too soon? What if he thought you were being too eager?

“Stop it, Y/N!” you said out loud to interrupt your mental spiral. You wouldn’t make a fool out of yourself for this man, even if he was handsome, and intelligent, and funny. No way.

 But as you were standing in the kitchen five minutes later and heard your phone chiming from the other room, you were there in the matter of seconds to read the new message.

 

Tomorrow sounds perfect, just text me the address. I’ll bring the wine. xx Jake

 

You clutched your phone to your chest, the biggest, goofy smile on your face.

 You spent the remaining day extensively cleaning your flat, stressing out, going grocery shopping and stressing out some more. You face-timed Abby and bullied her into helping you pick out an outfit, since she technically was the one who got you into this mess in the first place.

Jake was occupying your mind whatever you did, and when you finally got into your bed that night, all you could think about was how his lips had felt against yours. Those thoughts sent a hot, burning feeling down between your legs and when you finally touched your pussy, you were already so wet and aroused that it only took you minutes until you reached your peak, Jakes name falling from your lips.

+++

To say you were a nervous wreck the next day would be an understatement. When you woke up, you decided to watch some TV to get yourself a bit of distraction. An ad was currently playing, and so you decided to check your mails first.

 

“Good Morning from Washington, where the State of our Union is in turmoil over the latest…”

 

Your head snapped up at the sound of the familiar voice coming from your TV, the voice that occupied your mind ever since your blind date on Friday. You had totally forgotten that Sunday morning meant Jake Tapper time on CNN, because usually you were either asleep or at work at 9 am. But now you took your time to really appreciate the man on your TV.

He looked way more serious than the Jake you got to know, no smile, just a stern expression and a dark suit and tie. Which didn’t mean that he wasn’t looking totally hot, and his intelligent and sharp remarks did nothing to calm your fluttering heart or the heat in your lower abdomen. You definitely wanted him, bad.


This is getting ridiculous, you thought to yourself, and turned the TV off to take a very long shower.

Afterwards, you spent the whole day pacing around your flat and annoying Abby with numerous text messages and another two face time calls. She assured you multiple times that everything would be just fine and by the time it was 7:45 p.m. the food was in the oven and you sat on your couch, waiting for the doorbell to ring.

When it finally did, you all but ran to the door only to stop and force yourself to take a couple of calming breaths before opening it. Jake stood outside, a bottle of red wine in his hand. He looked amazing with his white dress shirt and dark grey slacks, but again it was his smile that got your attention, he looked just as happy to see you as you were feeling.

Out of a sudden impulse, you surged forward and threw your arms around the man, hugging him and burying your head in his chest. He seemed surprised, but still put his free arm around you, embracing you.

“Hi.” You whispered, suddenly shy, but as you looked up to meet Jakes eyes you could see nothing but warmth in them. “Hi.” He replied, pressing a kiss to your hair. “It’s good to see you.”

 You slowly let go of him so he could actually enter your apartment. He followed you inside and you fetched some glasses for the wine. You talked about everything and anything over dinner, family, football, the book Jake was working on. You listened closely, and so did he as you told him about your passion for art and music. He even asked you to put some of your favorite records on as you moved over to the couch after dinner.

You were still talking animatedly but having Jake in closer physical proximity made it increasingly hard to focus on what he was saying.

Instead, your eyes and mind wandered to his hands. Without thinking, you reached out and put one of your hands into his, He stopped speaking, and looked at you. You could see the kind look in his eyes being replaced by something darker, more passionate.

 He spoke again, voice lower this time. “I’ve been thinking about you and our kiss without a break since yesterday. And just as long I’ve wanted to kiss you again, touch you again.”

He reached out, cupped your jaw with one of his hands and slowly ran his thumb over your bottom lip. It took every willpower you had not to suck his thumb into your mouth. This man had you hot and aching for him with just a single touch and a couple of words.

“Is that something you want me to do, Y/L?” his voice was only a low rumble now.

 

“Oh my god yes. Yes please.” You whispered, not really trusting your own voice to come out steady enough. 
The hand on your face slid to the back of your head and you uttered a surprised gasp as Jake just grabbed a fist of your hair and pulled you close, until your faces were only inches apart.

“You are beautiful.” He said, looking you deep in the eyes.

And then he kissed you again. And as soon as his mouth connected with yours, you realized just how much you had missed the feeling of his lips, the warmth of his body. But that was where the resemblance to the kiss you shared last night ended. Because this one was more.

More passion, more lust. Jake softly bit your bottom lip and used your surprised gasp as an opportunity to slide his tongue into your mouth. The kiss deepened and you could feel small sparks of arousal all over your body with every touch of tongue and every time he lightly tugged on the hair in the nape of your neck.

Your hands found their way around Jakes shoulders, roaming up and down his back. You were really glad he was not wearing his full State Of The Union Outfit, even if it had looked extremely hot, because as soon as you could feel the solid muscle through his thin dress shirt, you knew that those clothes had to come off at some point.

You lightly tugged on the hem of his shirt to pull it out of his pants and spread your hands over the warm skin underneath. Jake broke the kiss as soon as he could feel what you did, just to tilt back your head and kiss your exposed neck.

You couldn’t stifle a moan as he lightly sucked on your pulse point.

The feeling of his mouth on your skin made heat coil between your legs, and you tried to shift even closer to him, until you were almost sitting on his lap.

Jake continued to kiss your neck, while his other hand crept under your shirt to palm your breast through your bra. He lightly squeezed it and you moaned again, you nails raking softly over his back, making him groan against your skin.

“You like that?” he asked, and pinched one of your nipples through the thin fabric of your bra, and you could feel your panties getting soaked with arousal.

You decided that it was time to get rid of some clothing and started to quickly unbutton Jakes dress shirt, revealing more and more skin with each button undone. As soon as you were finished, he pulled the shirt of his shoulders and the view of his body made your mouth water. You ran your hands over his muscled chest, and you could see the way his eyes darkened again.

“I can’t wait to touch you everywhere.” He said in a husky voice and pulled your shirt over your head in a swift motion, and instantly his lips were on yours again, his hands roaming over your back, unclasping your bra. When your nipples came in contact with the skin of his chest, you couldn’t contain yourself anymore.

“Jake, please. Touch me, kiss me, anything. I need to feel you.” You pleaded, your voice slightly breathless.

 

“Take the rest of your clothes off, now.” Jake said, his commanding tone sending another surge of wetness between your legs.

 You got up from the sofa and stood in front of Jake. Slowly, you opened the zipper of your jeans and pulled them down, leaving you only in your black lace panties.

Jake was watching you, his intense stare burning on your skin.

“Everything. Off.” He said, never breaking eye contact.

Having the undivided attention of this man was so hot, you almost got lightheaded.

You slowly dragged your underwear down your legs, and as you were looking up again, you saw that Jake was palming the bulge that had begun to form in his pants. You wanted to touch him so bad.

“You are gorgeous. Amazing. Beautiful. Stunning.” Jake said, taking in the sight of your naked body. His voice was strained, this was clearly affecting him.

A light flush was beginning to form on your skin, you weren’t sure if it was because of arousal or embarrassment, but you definitely knew that you needed Jake to get his hands on your body, now.

You made your way over to him again and leaned down to open the fly of his trousers. His briefs were already tented by his erection, and you palmed him through his underwear, making him groan.

“Those need to come off.” You whispered, smiling at Jake, who just nodded and lifted his pelvis so you could pull down his trousers along with his underwear.

Finally, he was naked in front of you. He grabbed you by your waist and pulled you down on the sofa, lying on top of you. The feeling of his warm skin against yours was thrilling, you tried to get your hands on every part of his body you could reach, stroking his back, pulling his hair. Finally, you wrapped your hand around the base of his hard cock, giving it some light strokes.

“You feel so good, Y/N, I’ve been thinking about doing this since I first laid my eyes on you. I’ve been in a state since we kissed, and now” he whispered against your neck „I can’t wait to finally have that sweet pussy of yours.”

You couldn’t believe the words coming out of Jakes mouth, hearing him say filthy things like that was turning you on more than you could’ve ever imagined. Obviously, your thoughts were written all over your face.

“You like it when I talk like that, don’t you, sweetheart.” He said, pinching one of your nipples as he did.

“I…Oh shit, yes, yes I do. Please.” You whimpered, almost going you crazy with the need to finally feel him. 

He had mercy on you, reaching out between your legs. When he touched your pussy for the first time, you felt like the pent-up tension could make you faint any moment.
“God, you’re so wet, Y/N.” He thrust two of his long fingers into you without warning, and you almost screamed.
“And so tight.”

“I need you, please Jake, fuck me.” You were begging now, way beyond caring about any sort of decorum as his digits touched that sweet spot inside of you again and again.

 He withdrew his fingers and shifted on top of you before he put his hands on your tights, spreading your legs. You couldn’t even begin to complain about the loss of his fingers, he was already lining up his cock with your entrance, and pushed in, slowly, filling you inch by inch until he bottomed out with a deep groan. His length stretched you in the most delicious way, and you cried out as he was starting to thrust in and out of you, leaving you almost no time to adjust to his size.

You couldn’t talk coherently anymore, you were just chanting his name over and over as he was fucking you into the sofa. Your nails clawed into his back as he was leaning over you, his hair falling into his face. Just as you thought you couldn’t feel any more pleasure, he grabbed one of your legs and probed it onto his shoulder, the new angle making you see stars with every move of his hips.

“You feel incredible, so tight and warm around me, you are amazing.” He looked down on you, taking in your face, squinted with pleasure, his name falling from your lips over and over again.

He reached between your legs and started rubbing your clit, never slowing down his relentless, hard thrusts. The combined stimulation was almost too much for you and your orgasm was approaching fast.

“Don’t stop, please, just don’t stop.” You cried out, the pleasure running through your body like a wildfire.

“Look at me when you come, I want to see you. Look at me!” Jake growled, breathing hard as he sped up even more.

You hit your peak with a cry, sparks dancing over your skin as your walls clenched around Jakes cock. Your eyes were fixed on his, and he looked at you like you were the only person on the entire planet.

Seeing you come undone beneath him, Jake only lasted for another few deep thrusts before he came, shouting your name and spilling his hot release inside of you.

 He laid on top of you afterwards, his face on your shoulder, breathing deeply. You pressed a soft kiss to his cheek, and he turned his head to look at you.

“Hi” you said.

“Hi” he replied, your favorite smile spreading across his face again.

 “I liked that very much.” You said, pressing another kiss to his lips. He chuckled and propped himself up onto his arms with a small sight, rolling off you. Luckily, your sofa was large enough so you could comfortably lie next to each other.

“Me too, that was fantastic.” He replied and pulled you closer, putting his arm around you. You buried your face into his chest, soaking up the heat of his body and his wonderful smell.

 “Maybe you should come over more often.” You suggested, sounding a bit nervous again. You didn’t want to appear clingy. But this man had just rocked your world, and you couldn’t just act like nothing happened.

“I’ll come over whenever you want me to, sweetheart. Consider me at your beck and call.”

 “Stay the night?” you asked in a hopeful voice. You had work in the morning, but you just couldn’t imagine letting him go anywhere now.

He just nodded, smiled, and kissed you again. That soft, tingly feeling in your chest increased even more, and you just happily snuggled up to him.

 Later, as Jake was already asleep next to you, you took up your phone and sent a quick text message to Abby.

Next brunch is my treat! I owe you xxxx

[gay-cartoon-stan]

Why the “Corrupted Steven Theory” is more likely than it seems at first

Okay, you probably think that this theory is very unlikely, and it won’t happen in Steven Universe Future. But hear me out, I thought so at first as well, just like I thought the “Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond”-Theory was a stretch. But guess what? It turned out to be true, so I gave this theory the benefit of doubt and now I’m convinced that it could become canon as well!

In the beginning, I was unsure but intrigued by this theory and read some posts. Steven Universe Future means a lot to me, I related to Steven Universe a lot already and kind of grew up with it in the past few years. Now, seeing how Steven deals with deeply rooted problems and his mental health issues hit close to home for me. So, obviously, I searched through the tags very much.

Unfortunately, the actual theories with proof are scattered all around Tumblr with almost no coordination, even within “#corrupted Steven theory” that is full of fan art (which I enjoy a lot btw!!). And I had to search through a lot of posts to see the full picture of possibilities this theory has, so I decided to make a master post for you guys. It’s not that much of a stretch when you put all of it in one big master-post, for those who don’t want to search for as long as I did.

WARNING: This will be a very long post!

Now first off, I heard many people say that this would be too dark for the show. And while this is a children’s show, Steven Universe already had way darker episodes. Here are some examples:

Previous Theories in Steven Universe

I searched for some previous theories for the original Steven Universe cartoon and pulled up a few popular theories from the Cartoon Network YouTube videos. Let’s start off with some of them that were proven wrong later on in the series.

3 Theories that were more based on feeling right than proof and turned out to be wrong

-         Gems start out as babies

-         Sardonyx’s identity

-         Ruby is blind

First off, everyone assumed that Gems are quite similar to humans. Now, these theories were created in the first season of Steven Universe, when we didn’t know a whole lot about Gems, yet. Rebecca Sugar started the show by telling us to “expect the unexpected” like expecting to have Gems be quite similar to humans.

When we heard of a new voice actor, most immediately assumed it to be a new gem or a fusion of new gems. But instead, it was Sardonyx, a fusion between garnet and Pearl. Rebecca likes to explore new possibilities by combining already established things: Like making a completely new character out of two well-known gems.

I think that’s exactly what’s going to happen in Steven Universe Future, this epilogue will deal with big concepts that we already know. It would make no sense to have something entirely new in the epilogue, when we already have some unanswered questions left, like the true nature of corruption.

5 Theories that were based proof rather than “feeling canon” and turned out true (even though they seemed like a stretch)

-         Rose Quartz is Pink Diamond

-         There are multiples of every gem

-         All monsters were once gems

-         Ronaldo’s theories are right

-         Garnet is a fusion

Theories like the one of Pink Diamond were very unpopular and I’m sure almost no one believed Ronaldo in the beginning: they were unpopular or controversial at the time. But all of these theories turned out true, so don’t just shoot down a theory because it seems unlikely at first. On further examination, theories that seem like a stretch at first, actually, make a lot of sense.

Foreshadowing and symbolism about Rose Quartz actually being Pink Diamond were already planted in the beginning, look at the first song about Cookie Cat by Steven in the very first episode for example.

So, even if it seems unlikely that Steven will become corrupted in Steven Universe Future, that won’t stop Rebecca from making it canon. But if she planned it, there had to be a lot of proof for that, too. And there is a lot that could be interpreted as a connection between Stevens, his mental health and corruption!

That brings us to my next point:

 Steven’s Mental health

In the limited series, Steven is shown to bottle up his feelings a lot and has developed some harmful coping habits, as shown in Episode 10: “Prickly Pair”.

Steven is already known for not dealing with his own problems, trying not to think about them instead of being honest about how bad it feels so he can move on, as shown in “Mindful Education”, which was the fourth episode of Season 4, so even before the “Wanted” and “Diamond Days” arcs.

There even is a whole episode revolving around Amethyst trying to help Steven with his feeling about his mother after it’s revealed that she actually is Pink Diamond, but he just keeps reflecting and wants to help her instead.

Now, the synopsis tells us that “as he runs out of other people’s problems to solve, he’ll finally have to face his own” which confirms again that he didn’t deal with his own emotions, yet. So, now he feels lost because he feels useless now in addition to years of undealt trauma. Just look at his monologue in the last episode!

But why didn’t he deal with his own mental well-being yet? Because he’s scared because all of his experience in the last years were very traumatic for a teenager? Not to mention that he wasn’t even 14 when the series started off. Even the Crystal Gems, who are supposed to be way more mature than him, struggled multiple times within the series. Garnet even split up two times.

He’s scared because he doesn’t know what to do now that he can’t help the people around him anymore, everyone around him changes for the better and knows how to help themselves and what they want to do in the future. Everyone except Steven.

 Steven vs Steven

All of his human friends change way faster than he can deal with, so one would think that he could at least relate to the Gems with the struggle of accepting change, right? NO! He’s growing up, he changed in the last couple of years. And while it’s too slow for the humans around him, it’s too fast for the Crystal Gems since they’ve been around for thousands of years.

Even though the whole universe is changing, he still has problems as a hybrid between gems and humans. He struggled for years to fit in with the Gems, while he was always too much “Gem” to be understood by fully humans. For example, even his best friend and his dad don’t include him as a “human being” in Season 2, where he was just starting to be respected by the Gems as a part of the Crystal Gems. So, he didn’t really fit in with either species even back then. Out of stress, it caused him to clutch his gem, also because it is the thing that will always set him apart from other humans.

For years, he could at least relate to Amethyst. They shared a kindred spirit as fellow "worst Gems" who, in Steven's words are "not like anybody". Now even she found her own personal purpose while he is as confused as ever.

 Becoming like someone “bad”

Not only that, in his attempt to be nothing like his mother, since he still has a complicated relationship with her (see: the whole Episode “Rose Buds”), he slowly becomes more and more the person she used to be. He doesn’t want to confront that, but he’s still scared of his new powers that remind Volleyball of Pink Diamond.

But it’s not only her, but Steven also begins to act like the diamonds in general: He ordered people (like Amethyst and Jasper) around.

Just like the punishment by Blue Diamond for Pink, Steven imprisoned Cactus Steven (a metaphor for himself, his mental health, and his problems) with barely enough light to survive. Both Pink Diamond and Cactus Steven didn’t know how to act any better. Cactus Steven was just learning from the only role model he got, but Steven was too angry to try to understand. In Steven Universe, he even tried to understand a literal monster and befriended Centipeetle aka corrupted Nephrite, but now he can’t even communicate with his own creation, sentient humanoid cactus.

He spent years trying to fight the ways the Great Diamond Authority worked, but now he takes after them. And whether he is ready to confront this or not, he can’t help but see how he changes to a person he never wanted to be.

 No Control

He just got new powers that seemingly only Pink Steven really had control over and struggles even more than before. Steven could do a similar bubble, but never actually did it in a symmetrical way or in the shape of a dome, like his gem half could do seemingly with ease.

But since his powers are connected to his emotion (which react to his new and old problems) it’s no wonder that he’s getting out of control. This new pink side of him is linked to extreme stress (or anger) and using powers only his fully-gem half could do before.

We already saw him losing full control over his bubble (trapping someone) and shapeshifting/ageing, where he almost died.

In the first season, he trapped Connie in his protective bubble, which only dissolved after he talked with her. He subconsciously trapped her in there because he didn’t want her to leave again before he got the chance to give the bracelet back.

He lost control over his body a few times, for example, a few episodes after Bubble Buddies when his age-shifting powers get introduced. In a similar matter as before, his gem reacts to his feelings (here: his mental age) and acts accordingly. He almost dies in So Many Birthdays and Cat Fingers because of it.

He already ended up trapping his friends in Episode 9 because of his new powers in connection to emotions. In Season One, he trapped Connie in his bubble in a similar matter.

Next, he could be transforming his problems in himself externally again. We already saw that trauma inside of a gem can manifest in Volleyball as it was explained by the cracked eye.

The creature could be an apparition, something Steven sees in dreams or hallucinations, rather than a physical manifestation at first, but most of the issues in Steven Universe, even if they’re just emotionally, evolved to become something physical. But even though this can be done in a couple of ways, corruption would make sense in Steven’s case.

 Corruption

Extreme emotional distress is linked to corruption as it seems to speed up corruption’s effects. Both Jasper’s and Centipeetle’s mental state affected the corruption process. As the bodies of Gems are mental projections, the bodies of corrupted Gems are a reflection of how damaged their minds are. Corruption’s damage is mental rather than physical, at least at its core.

Just like their emotions affected their body, Steven’s powers got worse under stress. In Steven Universe Future, his mental health is worse than ever, so if he ever got corrupted, it would be in this epilogue series. He’s getting out of control form when he’s distressed or under extreme stress more than ever.

There are no gems corrupted on Homeworld due to the lack of a Diamond blast. But even the other diamonds don’t understand the true nature of corruption completely, they didn’t even know that they corrupted these gems.

But we, the audience, already know a couple things: Second-hand corruption can occur to a non-corrupted Gem through fusion with a corrupted one, while Nephrite described it as a "song" and remembering this seemed to be what triggered her to revert into her corrupted form.

Corruption is linked to the mind of the gem and needs at least one diamond. Steven, who is a diamond, can probably corrupt other gems or himself without meaning to do so. If he loses control of the corruption-powers as well, it could very well be that he ends up accidentally corrupting himself.

But without addressing his issues, he won’t be able to reverse the effects of his subconsciously used gem powers. Pink Steven always worked this way in the past. His gem half reacts to the wishes from Steven’s human half very directly, like trapping all of his friends. And he treated his cactus-self badly, so also harming himself isn’t that far off. He already fought himself quite violently in Steven and the Stevens (which was Season One), but now he got even more problems with himself directly. What if his gem half reacts on that?

 Corruption forms

While Steven’s trauma could manifest in a couple of ways, there are some similarities between the worm-like creature from the intro and Steven.

Of course, it doesn’t completely look like Steven, but consider how humanoid this creature’s face is in comparison to other corruptions in Steven Universe. Let’s take a look at the heads from the others in the corrupted and uncorrupted form.

Nephrite’s corrupted head has a flowing, light-cream coloured mane immediately behind her head that looks like her previous hairstyle. Aside from that and her colour scheme, her body completely changes because of corruption.

Because of the corruption Jasper got spikes from multiple areas of her body now, but her hairstyle only changed to a mane around her neck and she kept the same skin tones.

Ocean Jasper, similar to all Jaspers, kept her colour scheme (aside from corruption marks) and hairstyle/colour even while corrupted.

Larimar’s head always had spikes on top, even though they became more. She still has her blue tones, even though it got a bit darker. Her body changed quite a bit and she got a lot bigger.

So all in all we can say that a gem becomes bulkier and bigger while growing spikes. The placement of the gem barely changes at all. The colour scheme doesn’t really change, but the gem can have corruption marks.

I strongly believe that this thing a corrupted gem, since a completely alien species in the last act of the show makes no sense. Especially with the premise that this epilogue would focus on loose ends and Steven himself.

 Similarities between the Creature and Steven

Only this corruption has a human-like face shape and nose. But humans can’t corrupt, except for Steven. He has the same nose, a softer version of the face shape and is always drawn with 5 hair curves. Instead of that, this creature has 5 horns instead of Steven’s usual curls.

Another dominant feature of this creature is the mouth shape. It’s a sharper version of a squiggly mouth that’s usually drawn when the character is stressed/worried. In the original series many characters were drawn with a mouth like that, but the only character who is frequently seen using a mouth like that in Steven Universe Future is Steven himself. Also, it is drawn quite sharp.

Besides, both Cactus Steven and the Watermelon Stevens are known for a squiggly mouth form like that.

The Watermelon Stevens needed time to even become alive, and even more time until they got a mouth. After Steven send them away and they had to build their own community, they were drawn with a sharp mouth.

Cactus Steven had a mouth, to begin with, it was very curvy drawn. But as the episode went on and Steven got more aggressive with him, it got sharper.

Let’s move onto the body from the creature. It is massive, even bigger than White Diamond, and has spikes leading down his back. A gem would have to be very powerful, to begin with, to be able to become this big and spiky. Our Jasper, for example, was way bigger and har way more spikes than the average Jasper soldier.

Based on the size, I thought about a corrupted White Diamond at first, especially with her pink hue at the end of Change Your Mind. But she’s already on the intro screen, also pink, and she has her gem glowing on her forehead while the creature doesn’t have a visible one. That makes it seem more mysterious like something is surprising to discover here.

Every gem except a diamond had the chance to be corrupted in the original blast. Steven’s gem placement would make sense, too, since you can’t see the stomach of the monster.

Not just the shapes, the colours are similar as well. When Steven reacts to stress, he gets angry and has a new, pink colour scheme. Even outside of turning pink, there are a lot of pink hues used in the scenes that include him.

If he corrupts, it could get a bit darker similar to Larimar’s/Nephrite’s corruption form. And the colour scheme of the creature is a dark pink instead of purple without the blue, dark tint of the intro scene. We can see that if we look at Jaspers original colours and her skin tone in the intro.

 Possible Foreshadowing / Symbolism

The body of the monster is full of spikes that resemble rose thorns. Roses were symbolism of Rose Quartz in Steven Universe. Now it could represent Steven’s internal insecurities about his mom since those are a big part of Steven Universe Future.

Like roses, horns and spiked were used throughout the original series. I’ve seen a lot of people point out Steven’s caterpillar sleeping bag, especially since the creature seems to have a caterpillar-like form. Also, honourable mentions are the horns in An Indirect Kiss and Steven’s design in Future Boy Zoltron looks very similar to the corruption in the intro.

As I already mentioned, Steven lost control at the beginning of the original series since his powers were new to him. His shapeshifting powers got dangerous and he ended up trapping his friend Connie. In Steven Universe Future he got new powers again and loses control again, but just ended up trapping his friends and lost control over his dome-thingy.

If it will be like the original series, he will lose control over his body, too. Next, he would be transforming his problems in himself externally again, just like Cactus Steven ended up as a “monstrous version” of himself.

Steven ended the Great Diamond Authority but can’t seem to defeat a cactus. That’s because Cactus Steven is a living metaphor for Steven himself, his mental health, and his problems. He can’t deal with his own feelings reflected back at him and gets hit in the face by it. Literally.

Another metaphor for Steven is the plushie by Onion in A Very Special Episode, that resembles cookie cat mixed with Steven in a creepy way. Cookie cat was a very early symbol for the backstory of Rose / Pink Diamond and two halves of Steven. It could even move without being moved by Rainbow’s umbrella. A plushie was already an allegory for corruption and it’s most likely is a reference to Garnet’s explanation of corruption: “It’s sort of like if MC Bear-Bear didn’t tear the fabric of his arm, but the fabric of his mind.”

The biggest plot twists in Steven Universe was predicted by Ronaldo early on, all of his big theories except People (Snake People) turned out true. He was convinced by the Great Diamond Authority theory after he saw the diamond on the USA dollar bill. Before that, he believed in Sneople. Snakes are on the other side of the bill. I think that Sneople are supposed to be corrupted gems.

A few episodes in, Aquamarine and Eyeball-Ruby demanded that Steven should destroy his home, bubble his friends, and burn Little Homeword to the ground. Steven didn’t want to do that and won the fight with the gems against Bluebird, but later both of those events happened anyway. So, that may have been foreshadowing to future episodes when Little Homeschool actually gets destroyed. And that could happen if Steven actually self-corrupts and becomes the massive creature from the intro.

The last important thing for possible corruption foreshadowing was that Nephrite described it as a "song". There is a lot of association between corruption and music. It’s clear Steven loves music a lot and deals with heavy themes mostly through songs. Most gems like Peridot didn’t even know what music was at first.

 Plot possibilities

All in all, it wouldn’t make sense to introduce something completely new now. Instead, the show would deal with big concepts that have already been established in a new way.

Self-corruption could be a plot device to represent his current struggles with mental state. It would make sense in the way Steven Universe functions but also for storytelling in Steven Universe Future.

Now, he has to deal with problems he accidentally created himself along the way. He has to deal with his feelings and finally sort them out. But that won’t happen until something drastic happens.

If Steven gets to a point where he corrupts himself, he will need help from others. And the person who could help him the most through that was Connie. She was always there for him, especially in the moments where he struggled with himself.

That would explain Connie’s lack of screen time when she plays a major role later on. If the focus lays on Steven and Connie, they probably get together, too. The Crewniverse teased their relationship already a lot and after de-corrupting Steven, there would be a perfect opportunity for making them canon.

   “After saving the universe, Steven is still at it, tying up every loose end. But as he runs out of other people’s problems to solve, he’ll finally have to face his own.”

After all those Seasons in the original series, this epilogue could show how Steven deals with his problems and that you can’t always blame your problems on someone else. Just as Pearl said once: “[Humans] want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.”

 Other theories that are possible and/or popular right now

-         Steven will leave Beach City at the end of Steven Universe Future

-         Steven loses an eye

-         Steven-fusion will split up

 References or sources? (and a few others, but I can’t find them anymore so rip me)

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189151877094/have-you-seen-the-leaked-trailer

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/188153524489/on-the-corruptedsteven-theory

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189304112304/novantinuums-corrupted-steven-theory

https://novantinuum.tumblr.com/post/189560459059/find-your-center-your-very-core-remember-your

https://backinbizmuth.tumblr.com/post/189991650603/su-mini-theory-steven-will-corrupt-himself-after

https://drawloverlala.tumblr.com/post/188219448551/hehe-about-the-corrupted-steven-theory-that-he

https://sal108.tumblr.com/post/189160278143/so-about-that-suf-promo-that-leaked-on-steven

https://alexorcism.tumblr.com/post/189801984533/look-im-just-saying

https://lifeiskorrasami.tumblr.com/post/189417484385/ever-noticed-that-pink-also-has-the-horn-spike

https://gay-cartoon-stan.tumblr.com/post/189928744648/is-no-one-but-me-concerned-that-steven-looks-more

https://badartbysomeguy.tumblr.com/post/189928770039/so-cactus-steven-is-spouting-all-of-stevens 

https://somelazyassartist.tumblr.com/post/189688736598/wait-hold-up

https://viibecheeck.tumblr.com/post/189676375245/stop-it-rebecca-what-are-you-trying-to-say

https://celly-does-art.tumblr.com/post/189982116768/some-of-yall-i-dont-think-steven-is-going-to

https://unexpectedchair.tumblr.com/post/189928860906/corrupted-steven-theory-whos-going-to-be-able-to

[kisskissbanggang]

The Sabotage of Simkung House - Part 1

[Stray Kids Multi Fic - 5K Words/20Min. Read - Lee Know x Female Reader - Non-Idol!au, Variety!au - NSFW/Smut, Plot - Reverse Harems, Variety Shows, Secret Hook-Ups]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Masterlist | Feedback

This was your weirdest casting call yet. The assistant was taking the longest time looking back and forth from your headshot to your CV, and it was making you anxious. You could be doing better things on a Thursday night than get scrutinized more than usual. Finally, after an agonizing fifteen minutes of near silence on your end, the assistant motioned for the casting director to come over. This new person looked from the CV, to the headshot, to you, in a repeated loop until they ultimately asked you to stand up, turn in a circle, and walk around the room. You felt like a show dog, but relief finally came as the casting director motioned for you to follow, not leave. Was this your weirdest casting call ever? Probably. Would you pass up an opportunity to sign? Of course not. 

Yet another eager assistant trotted up to intercept you as casting led you down the hall.  “I got this,” he explained, politely shooing away the casting director and redirecting you into a new office. 

“Hi,” he greeted as he sat you in a chair, “so we’re glad you're here. I’m Felix,” he introduced himself, offering you a hand to shake before he sat you in a chair in front of the big desk in the room. He remained standing as he animatedly explained himself. “I’m the assistant for our executive producer. We know this has been a little unorthodox.”

“That's fine! I know some AV producers have really high standards,” you shrugged with a polite smile. You hadn't been shooting adult videos long, but in the time since you started you’d definitely had some weird auditions. None as weird as this, still, but weird nonetheless. 

“Right,” Felix nodded, “we were impressed with your materials. I'm already familiar with your work--” he blurted out before cranking back, biting into his lip as he blushed. You modestly nodded for him to continue. “--but I never realized you had such credentials otherwise. You have a very nice acting resume.”

“I've never needed both before,” you explained apologetically, “so I just left everything on there.”

“No no! It’s better than I could've dreamed of. I had no clue you went to school. And you’re bilingual? I thought I recalled you using English once or twice in streams, but I never realized--” Felix paused again, realizing his continued admission. You nodded for him to get going once again. 

“Don’t be embarrassed,” you kindly encouraged, “I’m glad you’re familiar with my work.”

“I am,” he eagerly nodded as he pulled some materials out from a folder sitting on the desk , “And we want you. So can I explain?” He waited for your approval once more before he launched in. We’re casting a new variety show. It’s called Noesengnam House.” The first piece of material he slid across the desk was a logo: a cheesy, bubbly text in front of a silhouette of a chiseled man with a graduation cap on. You raised an eyebrow. However, being enthusiastic was key to landing any gig, so despite any doubts you put on a smile. 

“Alright. So we’re focusing on smart, sexy guys?”

“We’re making smart, sexy guys,” Felix clarifies, and he’s so proud as he passes five headshots across the desk. You’ve always been puzzled by these overenthusiastic assistants, like they have a stake in every good idea so they have to be good. “This is like charm school, but for guys. The catch is they have to get equal marks in all their subjects by the end of the season in order for all of them to win their prizes.”

You got the smallest bit distracted looking over the faces of these five men, wondering how charm school worked as a concept with porn actors. “So the subjects are…?”

“What,” Felix suddenly halted, “not interested in the prizes?”

“I assume it’s money,” you flippantly shrugged, “so what are they supposed to be getting high marks in? I assume I'm working with them, so I'm interested in what they’re doing.”

It was Felix’s turn to shrug. Somehow, he apparently hadn’t predicted this. “The usual: manners, fitness, home economics, academics. They’re all secretly cast to have a specialty, so they have to work together to figure out each other's strengths and weaknesses.”

You finally held up your hands to formally stop him. “I'm sorry,” you politely apologized, “but I think I'm missing something. Where do I fit in?”

“Ah, that's the fun part. We cast them for variety, not for adult content. This will be their first venture.”

“For all of them?” You dubiously marveled, starkly curious how this would affect their performances. Almost no one was ever proud of their first time for more than sentimental reasons. 

“Yes, all of them,” Felix proudly nodded, “in our counterpart series, Simkung House.” He slid a new logo across the desk, the first crossed out and a bubbly pink text replacing it, with the silhouette of a -- no, really -- french maid tickling her duster under the chin of the man in the original design. The cartoon male even had blush added. You raised a sharp eyebrow at Felix. 

“Simkung? Who's the heartthrob, me or them?”

He jokingly waved you off, as if you could dare be so modest. “You, of course. They’re the stars of the daytime show, and you're the star of the nighttime show. Every good dormitory needs a housekeeper.”

“Daytime show?” You asked, backtracking. Your head was starting to swim with details.

“Yes. We actually have a daytime slot for Noesengnam House.”

“And so this--” you tapped on the gaudy pink logo in front of you, “is airing? On television?”

Felix slowed down a second. “Not quite,” he admitted, “it’s an online subscription for a well-negotiated price. Our clientele are loyal, and word of mouth has been our biggest asset.”

“So I just sleep with everyone.”

“Of course not,” Felix grinned, wagging a cheeky finger at you. “You’re working for a prize as well.” He slid a new graphic across the desk, this one a table of information. One row had a heart, the one below had a broken heart, and the one on the bottom simply had a question mark. The zeroes populating the prize side of the infographic made your pulse race. “Our five budding bachelors are all yours for the taking, but they can’t find out about each other. They each have to think they’re the one you chose. If you bed one of them, that’s 50 million won.”

Felix’s grin grew more wicked as your eyes widened.

“If one of them finds out about the others, you’ll lose 60 million won each. So control of information is key.”

“And what’s this?” You asked suspiciously, pointing at the ominous question mark. 

“That,” he explained, “is for added drama being incited. You’ll find out later.”

“So what if I get all five?” You asked, feeling a bit foolish for getting excited.

“Then you get the prize,” Felix said seriously, “There's 500 million won at hand here, but you don't get to earn any of your penalties back for anyone finding out.”

You felt a little nauseous. That much money could get you a modest house, and maybe a car, and maybe all sorts of things. 

“Where’s the contract?” You cautiously asked, not wanting to sound too eager. 

“Of course,” Felix nodded as he pulled out two packets from under his pile of promotional material, one for each show, “I figured you’ll want copies for your manager--”

“I manage myself,” you firmly replied to Felix’s surprise, taking the copies from him and grabbing a pen from your bag. You flipped through, immediately crossing out any transfer of representation and exclusivity clauses. You had to be able to work after this, and you had to be able to keep up your own streams on the side during production if the schedule allowed. Your pen paused as you hit something interesting. 

“What’s this about accommodations?”

“We’ve leased a house for production instead of making a studio more habitable for the cast. You’ll need to be accessible at all times given our schedule.”

“So my stream…?”

“Sadly, you’ll need to take a hiatus,” Felix pouted a little in sympathy, “but we’re confident you’ll find new fans. Now, are you going to use that pen to sign? Or do you want time?”

A miniature war broke out in your head over the prospects, but you quickly tried to decipher why -- the contract practically led in with the fact you’d get five million up front. That would help pay the bills in advance and settle some debt that had sat while money was tight. If you said no, someone else would say yes. You would meet new guys and network, and possibly come out with more money than you had going in. 

You signed. 

---

Felix wasn’t around on your first day on set, but you had his card in case you needed him. You wheeled your one suitcase to the front door of the handsome house, and an assistant immediately herded you to your room, further away from the chaos currently happening in the main living space. The bottom floor of the house mostly contained the impressive home gym, but appeared to also be where the laundry room and your room were located. You noted cameras tucked into all sorts of corners and crevices, some more obvious than others. 

Your room was modest, with a small bathroom attached and its own fair share of cameras around. It was cutely decorated, a little feminine with warm string lights and soft textiles, but not very personal. It could've been any girl's room, but for now, it was yours. Felix had assured you that the cameras in here would only ever be on at night, and always with a signal of one of the bulbs on your string lights blinking. You opened your closet to get a feel of the space and where you could put your things when you saw your uniforms set out for you. A number of soft blouses with coordinating skirts hung on padded hangers, ready for you to mix and match. When you opened the drawers beside them, you found pairs of sensible tights and delicate pantyhose, some patterned and some not. Thankfully, the costumes were pretty sensible. You didn't want to be parading around in a french maid costume, swishing petticoats in boys’ faces or bending at the waist to show off some frilly panties. If the show wanted you to actually seduce these men and do it with some romance and dignity, the modestly cute uniforms would work just fine. You did also bring some of your own clothes, something Felix so graciously insisted upon, so you had options should you grow tired of the same look. 

You unpacked and changed into a pale pink blouse with a black pencil skirt and some grey tights before heading upstairs where you were immediately intercepted by another assistant. 

“Noona,” the younger man politely greeted, “you must be our housekeeper.” You nodded with a smile in return, popping the first button on your blouse when the assistant held up a lavalier mic to clip on. He quickly averted his eyes as you threaded the cord down and around to your back, endearing you, but just a little. 

“What's your name?” You asked, watching for some sound tech to signal that you were fine or needed adjustments. 

“I’m Seungmin, noona. You can let me know if you need anything. For now, we'll get you to a stylist and get you today's pages.” Seungmin showed you upstairs to the attic of the grand house, a de facto control center just above the main floor. A stylist swept you up and sat you in a chair while Seungmin fetched your pages. As the first episode, you would really only get a short introduction with the other staff: a cook, and a valet. For some reason, these cast members didn’t also reside in the house, but you didn’t need to question the producers at the moment and cause trouble. The main cast appeared to be downstairs already getting set for their first takes, their voices muffled through the thick rugs placed on the floor on this level. A text beeped through your phone that you had stashed in the pocket of your apron, and you opened it. 

>How's my star? Ready for your first day? Can I get a picture? I have the big boss here. 

You rolled your eyes at Felix’s antics, but took a reluctantly cute selfie anyhow, even winking for the camera.

>Perfect. It's like your first day of school and I'm so proud lmao. Big boss says to tone down the sass. Clients are more into Hidden Charm. 

A heavy sigh fell from your chest. You were already nervous for your first real variety debut, let alone with the show tonight lurking ahead. Seungmin appeared right next to you, ready to lead you downstairs as the stylist set your hair one last time. 

The lights in the living room were a bit irritating and took a second to adjust to, but the room itself was great. The home was impeccably decorated, modern and smart and just cozy enough to not feel sterile. You were sat next to your other Staff cast members while the main cast finished up in the dining room, your introductions awkward and brief. An errant bead of sweat traveled from the nape of your neck down your back when the rest of the cast were led into the living room, tempting you to shiver until the crew was done setting up. 

You watched, distracted in the middle of rising from your seat when the cast filed in from the dining room down the hall, stretching and chatting as they took a quick break. The boys all had on some coordinating iteration of the same uniform, capitalizing on the ‘college boys in their dorm’ concept the show was toying with. First was Minho, a perfectly pressed crease undisturbed on his slacks despite filming all morning, and his sleeves bundled up over his hands as he nonchalantly entered the room and immediately took a seat on the couch. Next came Jisung, glasses gradually sliding too low and one end of his necktie a little too short. Changbin followed, looking down his long nose at a loose thread on his sweater vest, with Hyunjin right behind stopping him to fuss over it himself. He stooped down to see better and brazenly reached under the material to pull the loose thread back through before being prodded along by Chan pulling up the rear. Hyunjin straightened up, smoothing out his blazer and adjusting his beret before joining the rest of the boys on the long sofa, Minho now having scooted off to sit on a tufted ottoman. Chan casually rerolled his shirt sleeves and brushed a hand through his ashy blonde hair, opting to stand until the crew was ready. The assistant director stepping in to run down the scene finally pulled you out of your reverie. Clearly, your co-stars’ headshots didn't do them justice, but did they think the same of yours?

The scene was simple: following the round-table of introductions in the previous scene, the cast meets the staff before picking roommates. That was it, that was your big debut, and for some reason it was nerve-wracking. You and the staff all nodded greetings before filming even began, before you took your marks off camera. The boys were all polite, but none of them treated you with any familiarity. You would have to remember to ask Felix if they actually had seen your headshot before coming to set. 

Finally, cameras rolled. As the Seniors of the group, Minho and Chan led the discussion, but Chan was clearly filling his role as the show’s host. He spoke well, and with plenty of charm, but something definitely struck you as odd about him. You just couldn’t pinpoint what. Your cue snapped you out of your train of thought and you suddenly remembered you were nervous, just as you walked on set and into the irritating lights. The valet introduced himself first, and then the cook, and, to your horror… You forgot your cheesy intro line. 

What was it?

Amazing. Your first shot would require a reshoot, and it would be because of a flub. 

You momentarily floundered, opting instead to roll with it and improvise. 

“Hello, boys,” you beamed as you greeted them, “I’m your housekeeper. Keep a good home while you're here, since I'll be the one cleaning it. I hope you have nothing to hide.” You topped it off with a wink, and the boys all shared a momentary air of surprise. You didn't blame them -- it was awkward, cringy, and too ‘sassy.’ The Big Boss probably hated it. 

But the boys laughed. Actually laughed. The take finished without any more problems, and the stylist ran up to reset your hair between takes. 

“Was it bad?” You whispered as she touched up your makeup. 

“No, I liked it!” She smiled, reassuring you a little. In fact, the AD asked you to run it again the way you had, surprised you could improvise at all. The retake went more smoothly, and you finally allowed yourself a sigh of relief as the scene cut for transition. 

As the boys finally wrapped up, you set about your other duties. When the cameras weren't formally set and manned, the planted cameras caught plenty of action from the boys. The valet had it easy; he was come-and-go as the plot necessitated, but you and the cook actually worked. Your contract outlined that while the boys were usually “on” from eight o'clock to eight o'clock, that you were an actual part-timer during the day and working at night. You could “work” your show during the day, but you couldn't interfere with the daytime activities. If you were needed as a housekeeper during the day, then that was priority, and these bookshelves apparently came with dust on them. You set about dusting as the boys transitioned from their scripted work to more casual filming. They each gave you a look as they filed back out of the living room to get set up in their rooms. Some expressions were cryptic, Hyunjin and Chan especially, but some were clear, like Minho’s small grin as he subtly looked you up and down as you reached for a tall shelf. Not wanting to shy away from an opportunity, you smiled back. 

The rest of your day was pretty simple, all things considered. You dusted and swept and tidied up a little, but since all five men had just started living in the house, there wasn’t much else at the moment. The house calmed down considerably as the huge crew dispersed for the day, now resembling just a mostly normal home. You hung out and snacked in your room as you heard everyone eating upstairs, only emerging once you heard their chairs scooting free of the dinner table. At that moment, one of the bulbs on your string lights blinked three times and then turned off. 

You immediately straightened up where you sat in bed and cheerily waved at the camera. Felix had outlined that you would never have to do much talking if you didn’t feel like it. You rose from your bed, turning to fix the bow in your apron before heading out of your room, giving the camera an extra wave. As you turned to ascend the stairs, a figure landed right on the bottom step in front of you, making you jump with a startled laugh. 

“Chan--!” You gasped into a giggle. “I'm so sorry, you surprised me.”

“I’m sorry, noona, I’ll be more careful,” he nodded cordially as he briskly moved to step around you. You quickly took note of the basket in his hands. 

“Wait!” You jumped back in front of him. “You don’t have to do your own laundry, you know. Besides, you already have some on night one?” You held your hands open for him to set the basket into and he hesitated before reluctantly giving it up to you. 

“It’ll take some getting used to, noona, thank you. I just wanted to take care of my uniform and my street clothes from before I got to set.”

“Fair enough,” you smiled warmly despite his stiff demeanor, turning heel back towards the laundry room as Chan hesitated again before heading back up the stairs. Working quickly, you set about separating the meager pile of laundry and getting them started on washing before you returned to your original plan and headed upstairs yourself. 

Through the living room was the dining room, and beyond that was the kitchen down the hall. You peered in, spying a sink full of dishes from dinner. You pulled on some gloves and got to washing when your ears perked up at the sound of the kitchen door swinging open. Just like that, your assumption was right: someone had to be a late-night snacker in the cast. And, of course, it was Minho. 

“I'm sure you could’ve eaten with us if you wanted,” Minho slyly grinned as he pulled open a cabinet and peered inside. His uniform was swapped out for a much comfier number, a simple henley shirt and pajama pants. The thin layers hugged the subtle outlines of his figure and suggested that despite his casual nature, he still put in effort for his looks. He came away from the cabinet with a box of cookies and offered it to you. You smiled and silently declined. 

“I appreciate that, Minho, but I'm just the help.”

“Yeah, but you’re pretty,” he said bluntly, quietly picking the box open, “and I feel like we could be friends.”

You watched, quietly impressed with how cool Minho could be. He silently, nonchalantly took a bite of a cookie and offered you a bite of the same. Could you really say no to an advance like that? 

Sure you could. Where was the fun in making it easy? You spied a camera in the corner of the kitchen, tucked under the hanging cabinets. Stepping aside, Minho instinctively circled with you, opening your conversation up for the camera. 

“It’s only the first night, Minho,” you teasingly scolded as you leaned forward and took a bite of the proffered cookie, “you shouldn't be so eager.”

Minho surprised you again, his thumb instantly at your lip and cleaning off a crumb you hadn't even felt. 

“Are you sure you're just the help?” He laughed quietly. “You don't act like it.”

“I can act however you want me to,” you teased back, enjoying the way his eyes lit up at your little repartee. You locked gazes as you let his thumb caress your bottom lip, watching for his reaction when dipped your chin to take the digit between your lips for just a moment. You took a step back, leaning back against the counter. His turn now. Minho set the box of cookies down, a devilish grin tugging at his lip as he stepped closer. 

When the door swung open once again. You both rapidly turned away from each other, your hands plunging back into the sink and Minho turning back to the cabinets. Changbin blinked at the two of you. 

“‘Sup,” Minho cheerily greeted, “I'm making myself something to eat. Want anything?”

“Nah,” Changbin shook his head as his eyes darted between the two of you before settling on the box of cookies on the counter. He stiffly reached between you both and grabbed it. “I'll be just fine with this. Unless you wanted--?”

“No, thanks, that's fine, like I said, making myself something,” Minho enthusiastically prattled on, making himself look busy as he started facetiously searching for pans in the bottom cabinets under the counter. Changbin raised an eyebrow before shrugging, popping open the box of cookies and digging in as he left the kitchen. 

A beat passed in the silence as you both waited for Changbin’s footsteps to disappear, but you didn’t get a chance to say anything before you felt Minho press up behind you where you stood at the sink. You let yourself have a small smile as he reached his arms around you, grabbing a kitchen towel and pulling your hands out of the sink to dry them. His head leaned down over your shoulder, his breath tickling your neck as he took his time before you grew impatient. You leaned back against his chest, opening up your neck for him. Minho breathed you in and brushed your hair back, the impression of his smirk pressed into you as his lips brushed against the delicate skin. 

You turned in his arms, playfully pushing him back a couple inches by the hips, and he instantly stepped closer, getting on with it already and driving his lips against yours. His flannel pajama pants did next to nothing to hide his growing erection he was currently grinding into your thigh. You kissed him deep, readily spreading your legs for him as his hands searched you and played with the hem of your skirt. 

“Right here?” You asked coyly. 

“As if we weren't pushing for that this whole time already,” Minho chuckled as he kissed you up and back against the counter. He spun you back around, pressing your hips against the sink as he kissed and nibbled at your neck. “Say it,” he implored. 

“Fuck me,” you replied breathlessly, gasping as Minho immediately pulled your skirt up around your hips and bent you over the sink, his fingers dipping below the waist of your tights and tugging them down. His fingertips probed your dripping entrance from behind and you gave an encouraging moan for him to continue. “What,” you grinned back over your shoulder, “chickening out?”

“Sorry, I wasn’t expecting this,” he teased, “you sure you want it? You did say it's the first night.”

“Give it to me,” you said adamantly. Minho smiled back as he pulled out his hard length. One hand gripped your hip as he guided himself in, groaning as your depths took him deep. You squeaked out a surprised moan when he bottomed out before both his hands were on your hips now and pulling you deeper around him. 

You clapped a hand over your mouth to keep from getting too loud as Minho fucked you over the sink, his hips bucking hard against you as his length filled you up. Once he set a reliable rhythm, one hand crept lower, between your legs to caress your clit as he fucked you.

“I want to make you cum,” Minho gritted behind you, “tell me how and I'll do it.”

“Keep doing what you’re doing and you will,” you taunted. 

Minho seemed pleased with your answer, his fingers still rubbing firm circles on your clit as his cock drove in and out of you even faster. You pushed your hips back against his, gripping the counter hard as the refined angle helped hit your spot more consistently. Minho let out a deep groan at the sound of your quickening whimpers, the sound of you approaching your orgasm making it difficult for him to keep up his own pace. 

“Minho,” you gasped, “I’m gonna--!”

You threw your head back as you cried out, quickly muffled when Minho pressed his own hand over your mouth. He kept it there, his other hand still holding firm onto your hip as he fucked you through your orgasm and on his way to his own. You whined and moaned into his palm, the way his own desperate groans combined with his stuttering grip on you making you lightheaded. He came hard, suddenly, emptying himself inside you as he gritted out hushed curses and panted breaths. 

You both stayed there, connected at the hips before Minho pulled out and brought you back up from the ledge of the sink. It was sweet, the way he helped put you back together and kissed your cheek. 

“Thanks,” he panted with a grin, still catching his breath, “hope this won’t make anything weird.”

“Of course not,” you smiled back as you brushed your fingers through your hair, “we can even do it again some time if you’d like.”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah. What’re friends for?” You winked, and Minho’s laugh was almost bashful as he playfully nudged your shoulder. His hand lingered on yours before he gave a cute wave and finally walked out of the kitchen. 

You waited a beat for Minho’s footsteps to disappear before you found the closest camera in the corner of the kitchen and gave it a wave and a smile. You finished the dishes and left them to dry and exited the kitchen, nearly screaming in surprise as you ran right into someone. 

Another assistant, blinking in surprised relief and taking a deep breath. 

“Well done, noona,” the assistant laughed quietly. 

“Who are--”

“Jeongin, noona, sorry.”

“Where have you been hiding?” You asked, bewildered. 

“Upstairs in the control room. I come in when the day crew leaves to help supervise in case you need anything.” He handed you a bottle of water and you nodded your gratitude, uncapping and taking a sip as you looked him over. He was an actual infant. He must've gotten roped into the industry right out of school. “Any other plans tonight?”

“Don’t think so,” you chuckled. “The show won’t be much fun if I get everything done in one week.”

“Sounds good, noona. You’ll be getting some rest then?” 

“Sure will.” You waved goodbye to the assistant as he crept back up the stairs and you headed down towards your room, making a quick stop to make a change over in Chan’s laundry for him. 

You stripped down in the comfort of your room, waving as the camera blinked on and you pulled on your pajamas. The sheets were welcoming as you crawled into bed, blowing a kiss to your viewers before the camera blinked back off. Your phone buzzed with a text from Felix as your eyelids grew heavy. 

>Good show tonight. Great start. The big boss loved it. Can you wear the dark blue blouse tomorrow? I want to see if it looks better than the pink. And don't make tonight a habit. We gotta keep things interesting. ;)

You sighed, now suddenly curious how you would “keep things interesting” between all five boys and wondering who would be next. 

[untitledtallgeesepodcast]

[TRANSCRIPT] Episode 0: The Anime They Once Saw (Or Didn’t See)

Kat  0:00  

Hello and welcome to the Untitled Tallgeese Podcast, a podcast where four of us will watch Gundam Wing and then tell you all about Gundam Wing. My name is Kat, I write about comics on the internet, and I will be your episode moderator for today.

Mallory  0:17  

And I'm Mallory, and I also write about comics. 

Cathy  0:20  

I'm Cathy, I don't write about comics. I am actually a lawyer, which sucks.

All  0:26  

[laughter]

Caitlin  0:28  

I am Caitlin. I'm a PhD researcher in Tokyo right now working on Japanese film. Yeah. 

Kat  0:33  

Extremely legit. 

Caitlin  0:35  

Are we? 

Cathy  0:36  

and we're all here to talk about the Gundam Wing.

Kat  0:38  

[crosstalk] I mean we might be.

Kat  0:41  

We are here to talk about Gundam Wing, the maybe not critically acclaimed, but fandom, okay, audience favorite anime  that was released in 1995 in Japan and then made its way to the US in March 2000 on Toonami. So, we're going to talk about our fandom history and our history with the show Gundam Wing and I guess I will kick that off. So I-- I grew up watching anime because my dad is a huge nerd. So we were obviously watching Toonami. And the promos blew my mind. My friends and I all got really into it in middle school. Then we discovered fanfiction and we started with Heero/Relena fan fiction. [Caitlin: Ugh.] And then then we realized people could be gay. 

Caitlin  1:29  

Uugh, thank god.

Kat  1:30  

That opened up like, I know it was like the clouds parted. rainbows fell from the sky. We were like, Oh, wow.

Mallory  1:39  

[singing] "A whole new world"

Kat  1:40  

[laughter] And then I don't know. I wrote a lot of fanfiction posted it on FF dotnet, got into fandom and then stayed in fandom. So, Mallory?

Mallory  1:53  

I didn't have cable growing up. So whatever anime exposure I got was like, whatever was on Saturday morning cartoons. So Digimon was my first fandom and I was really into that. 

Kat  2:08  

Hell yeah 

Mallory  2:09  

And that sort of like bled into Gundam Wing somehow, I don't really remember how. But I found my way to Gundam Wing, read a lot of fanfic, hadn't ever really watched the show. And then in high school, my friend had some like random episodes from the first season question mark. I have no idea. So I watched those, and really enjoyed that? But I have no idea what their context was, so I'm coming at this pretty, pretty new.

Cathy  2:44  

So you have never watched it from beginning to end?

Mallory  2:47  

No. 

Cathy  2:47  

Got it. This will be fun. 

Mallory  2:50  

I'm expecting to be really disapproving of all the adults in the room. I find that like, now that I'm watching anime about kids, I'm really protective of these kids like, "Hey, this is really unethical!"

Cathy  3:02  

So I'm like Kat, I started watching anime when I was I think around Middle School. I had a friend who got me into Sailor Moon, then I think it was Dragon Ball that was on Toonami at the time? I can't really remember the chronology. 

Kat  3:16  

Yeah. 

Cathy  3:17  

But then they did the promos for Gundam Wing, so then I started watching that on Toonami. And it was my first mecha series. And my first Gundam series, I think it's a lot of people's first Gundam series in the United States. 

Cathy  3:31  

I have attempted to do similar projects to this multiple times where I go back and I rewatch, and I haven't really had the opportunity to actually finish those rewatches. But my memory of it is still kind of stuck of when I was in middle school slash high school. I did get into fandom, so I expect to remember a lot of inaccuracies about what happened. [laughter] Because a lot of what my facts have with this series are have now mutated and changed. But I was a huge Gundam Wing fan, I think it still remains my favorite of the Gundam series just because I have so many memories of it? But I really excited to talk to Mallory, about what you feel and your experiences because it's been so long since I've talked to somebody who actually has never seen the series and doesn't know the story. So I'm super excited about this.

Caitlin  4:24  

Yeah!

Cathy  4:25  

All right, Cait, tell us about your family history.

Caitlin  4:27  

Yeah, so similar to all of us, I guess, I watched anime growing up. I got into Sailor Moon sort of through an accident of just happening to see a very specific episode on Toonami in like 1999, 1998 maybe. So after that, I got really into anime and really into the internet. I think I was very depressed as a child. [laughter] So I spend a lot of time online. I believe that like my my first memories of Gundam Wing are when it was on Toonami: Sailor Moon was on first and then Dragon Ball Dragon Ball Z, and then Gundam Wing. And then they also were showing like the quote unquote unedited versions late 

Cathy  5:09  

Yes!

Kat  5:09  

Yes, the midnight run 

Cathy  5:11  

The midnight run Right. 

Cathy  5:12  

Yeah. So very specific memories of like, I think I was mainly attracted to the, like, team format of Gundam if that makes sense? [Cathy: Yeah yeah yeah!] where it was used to sailor Sailor Moon where you have a team of color coded characters. And I'd, at a younger age been really into Power Rangers, where you had a team of color coded characters. So the marketing of Gundam Wing really appealed. You know, cuz I was just a kid watching on TV, I never really, I don't know if I watched the whole thing as a kid, but I got really into the fandom. And by 2000, 2001, I already knew about gay stuff online.

Kat  5:48  

Wow. Look at you early bloomer.

Caitlin  5:50  

Yeah. So So I got really into the various Gundam Wing pairings, I think it was mainly, I was mainly a 3x4, I think as a child. I went through some, 1x2, and then 2x5 phases. [laughter]

Caitlin  6:09  

I still am a big advocate for 2x5, I think it's underrated.

Kat  6:12  

I'm a big 2x5. 

Cathy  6:13  

2x5 is a good pairing, it definitely is. 

Kat  6:16  

Yeah.

Cathy  6:16  

It's a better pairing as an adult. 

Kat  6:17  

So okay, I think that's actually a pretty good bounce off. So these are the things we remember about Gundam Wing. It was marketed, like, I remember the Toonami marketing 'cause I was really hype for this show. They had like these really extreme commercials. 

Caitlin  6:34  

Yeah. 

Kat  6:35  

Um, and I thought the voice acting was good. I don't know, maybe we'll revisit that during this watch, to see if it still is, 

Caitlin  6:43  

[crosstalk] Was it dubbed?, 

Cathy  6:44  

[crosstalk] It was dubbed, yes.

Kat  6:44  

But I was ready for it. It was dubbed. 

Caitlin  6:46  

It was dubbed. One thing with the with the Japanese voice acting though, is that it's every single famous voice actor from the 90s. And so you can, you can use Gundam Wing is like a six degrees of every single voice actor from the 1990s. 

Caitlin  6:59  

Oh, that's cool.

Mallory  7:00  

I mean, there are a lot of big American or like, dub dub names on the dub side, too.

Cathy  7:06  

One of the things that I remember very strongly about Toonami is that they had what I think we would now call anime music videos, AMVs. 

Kat  7:16  

Yeah 

Cathy  7:17  

But they would play

Caitlin  7:18  

Yeah, 

Cathy  7:18  

These montage trailers, where they'd stich together all their different series. And as they accumulated more anime series, these became really, I think, cinematic and gripping tales, where they would kind of try to tell a story to be about, like bravery or honor or like, 

Kat  7:36  

It's like, plugged directly into my little 11 year old brain like, Whoa,

Cathy  7:40  

Yes. And one of them was, I remember was called, like, "technological development" or something like that, that featured a lot of the Gundam Wing clips. 

Kat  7:47  

Oh, yeah, cuz you only download them from like, KaZaa,  or whatever horrible thing I was putting into my computer. 

Caitlin  7:52  

Yeah. We gotta see if we can find those. [crosstalk] They must be online somewhere.

Cathy  7:56  

They are online. And I think they actually came out with like, I think somebody had either like hand by hand remastered them.

Kat  8:03  

[crosstalk] Oh sick.

Cathy  8:02  

Or they created a remastered version of it. They're wonderful. But that's I think one of the things about Toonami that I remember really strongly was Gundam Wing kind of is one of their, like epitome of like, Cool Anime that I feel like Toonami did and what it did was like they stiched together all these different things Outlaw Star and Tenchi Muyo and all these other stories to create a story about teenage growth, which is kind of strange and also weirdly fitting at the end of the day about like where Gundam is in the whole universe. 

Kat  8:07  

I think that's one of the reasons it blew up so much here because the marketing was really intense. Like Toonami, like it sort of right at the beginning, like people were into Sailor Moon, Dragonball Z was getting big. And like the manga boom was sort of happening in bookstores. So contextually, I think, Cartoon Network knew what the hell they were doing. They were like, "We can market the hell out of this."

Caitlin  8:55  

And also objectively speaking, Gundam Wing was one of their cooler series. Like, Sailor Moon is cool. Tenchi Muyo is not cool. 

All  9:04  

[laughter]

Kat  9:06  

Yeah. 

Caitlin  9:07  

Even even if you love it, it's not really cool. Dragon Ball. Love it. I don't know if it's really cool. Gundam Wing had like a very strong -

Kat  9:14  

[crosstalk] like the chad of animes

Caitlin  9:16  

- adult aesthetic to it, even though it was like, relatively, well, relatively appropriate for like 12 year olds. 

Kat  9:23  

And they swore during the midnight show.

Caitlin  9:25  

Oh yeah, 

Kat  9:26  

They swore and there was blood. 

Caitlin  9:27  

So it was very cool. And so I felt very adult watching it even though I didn't really understand what was going on because it's all this fake politics crap.

Kat  9:35  

Yeah, I was gonna say I did do a rewatch in like, like, right after college, so it was probably around 2010 ish, maybe? And I don't think we finished the series, but it was like, wow, I used to think this was very deep. [laughter] And I thought all the people in it who are the adults like Mallory, you were mentioning earlier, like they're actually like 17 and 19 

Cathy  10:01  

Yes! 

Kat  10:01  

in this show. So watching it at the age of 21, I was like, "Ooh no, don't give these people anything."

Cathy  10:09  

I was actually thinking about that. Because when you said Mallory, "oh, well, I become very protective of the children. I disapprove the adults," in my head of thinking "what adults?" [crosstalk, Caitlin: yeah what adults?] because actually, in Gundam Wing, there's a funny thing where people are either 15, 25 or like 70. And there's no in between and nobody really makes adult decisions. So it, That was one thing that really shocked me because as I go back to revisit it, I think, "Oh my god, I'm actually older than almost everybody in this series."

Caitlin  10:39  

How old, how old is Treize supposed to be? 

Cathy  10:41  

He's like 23, or 24. 

Kat  10:42  

He's 19.

Cathy  10:43  

No, Zechs is 19.

Kat  10:44  

Oh, Zechs is 19. Right. 

Cathy  10:47  

I just the idea of giving people who, you know, would have either been in college or just graduate college in my worldview, huge robots. 

Kat  10:58  

I think the ages of all the characters gets obscured by the anime art style, you know?

Cathy  11:03  

Yeah. 

Kat  11:03  

In a lot of anime fandoms.

Mallory  11:04  

And when you're watching this, when you're a kid, you want to see yourself as the protagonist. So it makes sense that, you know, a 17 year old seems like old and cool, and I want to be that person. And then when you're 30, you're like, the 17 year old should not be at war. 

Kat  11:23  

Relevant is that we definitely watched Evangelion. That was our last series.

Caitlin  11:29  

I don't know, I think, I think Heero Yuy is doing fine in war. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be honest, as a 30 year old, I think these kids are much better at war than I would be. 

Cathy  11:39  

Well, so that's what I find kind of interesting, is that I think this series actually... I don't, I know this wasn't the point but when I rewatched it recently, or just like the first couple of episodes, it seemed, it made a lot of sense, because they were like 15 or 24. Like the series, actually stitches together... 

Caitlin  11:58  

Yeah. 

Cathy  11:58  

...really well, because of how young they are, and kind of like the purity of feeling that they have, which I think is 

Kat  12:05  

Yeah, it is, like 

Cathy  12:06  

only maybe 

Kat  12:07  

like that [indistinguishable?] 

Cathy  12:07  

which I think is like only really, truly possible because I have to think of them as like 15 or 21 or 19 year olds. that is not at all when I took away when I was watching in high school. Right? 

Mallory  12:21  

Well, I mean, right.

Caitlin  12:22  

Part of the ideology of Gundam in general is like trying to restore a form of hope, and youth to, like, young people growing up in Japan, who are the target audience for this, and this idea that, like, you still have the power to change the world, you still have the power to bring about peace in a way that you want, even though you're being manipulated and oppressed by all these crazy adults who make you pilot giant robots. So I think there's a significant, like part of the series is the fact that they are kids who have been recruited into child warfare, and now have to find some way out of that. And like my memory of the series is that even though most of, most of the decisions made are very bad, the kids in general are not making terrible decisions. They're making pretty good decisions.

Kat  13:12  

Yeah, the pilots themselves... 

Mallory  13:14  

[crosstalk] Yeah 

Kat  13:14  

...are like doing the best they can be doing in that circumstance. 

Cathy  13:17  

[crosstalk] Exactly, exactly

Kat  13:19  

But I think it's sort of interesting, 'cause it's like, to me Gundam Wing is definitely like a fandom era, because I think a lot of stuff exemplifies like...there's like a lot of tropes cycling through it. But also like, the series itself, is so perfectly...like, I think of it as a series that are so perfectly set up for fandom because there's a lot of like, here's my one episode mission, and we have to be at a safe house, I guess. And it's just like, a long interminable war. So there's like, a big, a lot of world building. Yeah, that creates all these spaces that sort of separate from all the political machinations of the series.

Caitlin  13:58  

And that's also I think, a lot of what it was meant to be when it was created within the Gundam franchise like it was it was designed to have sort of a BL appeal to girls writing for comic market and that sort of thing. So it had like the setup of five hot guys who you could combine in various forms. And then also like Gundam itself, in general, it's designed to be and a sort of open universe that you can step into at various points, which also facilitates fandom engagement 

Mallory  14:28  

[crosstalk] literal fandom bait. 

Caitlin  14:29  

usually in the form, yeah, usually in the form of model collecting, which is like one of the main Gundam forms of fandom which we probably won't talk about too much on the show. But you, you kind of

Kat  14:41  

Uh I've definitely built some Gundam models. 

Caitlin  14:43  

Yeah. Well, you will be the expert on that because I've never touched a Gundam model in my life. But that is like the big thing where you can you can get the model you can construct it, you can learn a little bit more about the, like, the technology and the different like details of the models and stuff like that. And it just gives you like a slight, like Little bit more of these like tiny narratives and that sort of what the fans are consuming rather than an overall plot that makes sense, which is not what Gundam has really.

Kat  15:11  

So Gundam [Wing] has like the cool robots but also these hot boys in them.

Caitlin  15:15  

That's what I want. 

Mallory  15:16  

I mean Well, that's exactly what I want to show right now. So it sounds perfect?

Kat  15:21  

Honestly, yeah.

Mallory  15:23  

I think Evangelion, sort of, because, Kat, you and I just finished -- or are almost finished with -- Neon Genesis Evangelion [Kat, crosstalk: we haven't done all the movies yet] which was also it was my first time [Cathy, crosstalk: Congratulations, laugh] watching the whole series...wow, grim 

Kat  15:40  

I also only consumed 

Mallory  15:42  

[crosstalk] grim 

Kat  15:42  

[crosstalk] I consumed it like piecemeal too 

Mallory  15:44  

And depressing

Kat  15:45  

It was great. 

Mallory  15:46  

Very good but um grim.

Kat  15:50  

Yeah it's pretty grim.

Cathy  15:52  

Yeah, it's interesting to me because I feel like Evangelion doesn't make a lot of sense as a cultural product unless you've consumed a series like Gundam or its ancestors before watching it and yet Evangelion is a lot of people's introduction to giant robot series. So I always find that kind of interesting...

Caitlin  16:13  

[crosstalk] It's very weird.

Cathy  16:14  

because it, it is subversive, and I think it's subversive even if you don't know the tropes of the giant robot series, of which Gundam is perhaps a prime example. Gundam Wing...

Kat  16:27  

So I was gonna ask that and like, would you say, since Evangelion is definitely a like the subversion of this genre, would you say Gundam Wing is like the type of series that it is subverting? Or do you think it's in a different place?

Caitlin  16:41  

Gundam Wing and Evangelion came out the same year? Gundam Wing is in some ways a, it's already like a parody form of the original iteration of Gundam. 

Kat  16:55  

Okay, so it's--is it like, um, like the pure essence of teens-robots.

Caitlin  17:02  

It's, it's more like, I feel like by the time of Gundam Wing, the tropes of the original Gundam series are so well set that a lot of things in Gundam Wing to, like the fans who watched the original Gundam or like later Gundams, seemed like a rehash but it was designed to bring in new fans. So something like Zechs Merquis is very clearly like a Char Aznable character. It's just sort of a reiteration of that.

Kat  17:29  

So is it like a Star Wars, like a Star Wars sequel?

Caitlin  17:33  

Like how the Force Awakens is kind of a rehash of yeah, of A New Hope. And then, but it still brings in a lot of fans and has appealing characters and good aesthetics

Kat  17:43  

Right, yeah, I guess I think of them, the two shows, as sort of like, splitting the take on... like, what would you say is like the ur-mecha show? 

Cathy  17:52  

The original Gundam 

Caitlin  17:54  

Original Gundam? 

Cathy  17:54  

Yeah, Mobile Suit Gundam. 

Caitlin  17:56  

I mean, they're, they're older iterations, there's other robot shows. But I feel like when people think of mecha, the first thing they think of is Mobile Suit Gundam. 

Cathy  18:06  

So the way like I now think of Gundam Wing after the fact of experiences I have now is that like Gundam Wing is actually a perfect like K-Pop boy band way that they built it and so if you can kind of think of it like that, like it's, you need enough of the tropes and symbols, so that everybody watches it and immediately knows it's a Gundam series.

Cathy  18:30  

Like the colors of Wing Gundam are so obviously 

Kat  18:34  

Yeah.

Cathy  18:34  

a Gundam Mecca and you need that you can't get away from it. And same thing with like Zech's having a mask it the reason I think of it as being in in the Kpop industry is like there's a derivative sense. And that's animated by both like Merchandising, and advertising and what audiences want but at the same time, it's like this incredibly pure understanding of what makes us like things? And like when you get that when you really get it, like, it doesn't matter how like, quote, unquote manipulative or exploitative it can seem like you love it. And that's enough, right to make it like a thing that we all want to keep coming back to.

Mallory  19:12  

And there's basically like, an archetype right? In  all of the different characters like you have the more

Kat  19:18  

Yeah, you have the serious one. 

Mallory  19:20  

That's what I was thinking.

Kat  19:21  

Like, the goofy one.

Mallory  19:23  

Yeah, the goofy one, the sort of mess 

Kat  19:25  

the ugly one, 

Mallory  19:26  

like really cute one.

Kat  19:29  

Yeah, that's why I was thinking American boy bands cuz they all have to have like a type of heartthrob. Yeah, I'm a bad boy. I love death.

Caitlin  19:38  

One of them's, one of them's a rapper.

Kat  19:40  

Okay, so we talked a little bit about how we got into it. We talked a little bit about fandoms. And we touched on pairings, do we want to go into pairings at all? Or like our fave characters, or who we think our fave characters will be Before this rewatch?

Cathy  19:54  

You know before we do that--Mallory, can you try to tell us what you think this series is about? I'm actually really curious, like before you do a complete viewing, like what? what is what is your understanding of what happens in Gundam Wing?

Mallory  20:08  

Um, there's a long interminable war. These boys are recruited by some shadowy government whatever. And they're piloting these mecha. Uugh, I just remember Duo being really annoying.

Caitlin  20:28  

[loud gasp] [laughter] [crosstalk] Oh my god.

Mallory  20:29  

I mean, not annoying, like, being sort of... 

Kat  20:32  

Wow. 

Mallory  20:33  

...the one the pushy one like, he's the challenging one to Heero's "I'm serious and dour." Literally, I have the most broad strokes impressions of what this show is. I just know it looked really fucking cool every time I saw it in, like, a commercial and couldn't watch it.

Cathy  20:55  

Fascinating.

Caitlin  20:57  

Honestly, even having seen Gundam Wing, I'm not sure I could explain it much better. I don't remember who recruited them.

Mallory  21:03  

Okay. Okay, that does make me feel better. Because I was like, Oh, I don't? Do I actually know what the show is? What am I getting myself into? 

Caitlin  21:14  

There's there's a lot of weird politics. 

Mallory  21:17  

Well, I'm really excited for that. And I don't mean that sarcastically. Like, I'm really excited to, to see what this world is like, because I remember, like images or impressions. But everything is like out of context. So it'll be cool to see what that context is. Like deja vu? Oh, I remember that. I've seen that in AMV.

Kat  21:48  

I remember this from fics that just rewrite scenes from this show.

Mallory  21:55  

Yeah, like, what do I know? What do I know of Gundam that is from fanfic only, or is actual canon? I'm curious to figure out.

Kat  22:10  

I think everyone's a lot less obnoxious in canon.

Caitlin  22:14  

That's true. 

Mallory  22:15  

Okay, okay. 

Caitlin  22:16  

This was a this was a really good fandom for the the fandom phenomenon of, you take a character's most, like, annoying trait, and you emphasize it like times 10 in your fanfic.

Cathy  22:28  

Yes.

Kat  22:28  

Yeah 

Caitlin  22:28  

Just so everybody knows you know what that character is like.

Kat  22:31  

Heero's gonna threaten to kill everybody all the time, constantly.

Caitlin  22:34  

"Omae o korosu."

Cathy  22:36  

[laughing crosstalk] And so, it's funny that you guys mentioned safe houses, because actually, there are very few safe houses in the original series. In fact, I think there's like maybe one or two scenes ever, where they are all in a safe house provided by one of their allies. And it's a really fascinating trope, because it like pervades the fanfic? But I remember, that I remember was like a big deal, like, I went back and I was like, actually, these people spend very little downtime with each other in the actual series and I find that fascinating.

Kat  23:12  

Right? So you have to fill it all in. 

Mallory  23:13  

Oh, wait, what?

Caitlin  23:14  

They actually barely know each other.

Cathy  23:16  

Yeah, they truly barely know each other. [crosstalk]

Mallory  23:18  

Wait. Oh no, I thought, I thought this was going to be like..

Kat  23:23  

[crosstalk] They actually never interact. 

Mallory  23:24  

we're going to get together and become like a team 

Caitlin  23:26  

No, no.

Cathy  23:26  

Absolutely not, 

Caitlin  23:27  

They don't fight together; It's 50 episodes of them not interacting. 

Cathy  23:31  

They, they literally have like, they like, there's probably one or two scenes in which all five of them are on the same battlefield at the same time. And almost every single one of those scenes involves them fighting with each other because like, 

Kat  23:44  

[crosstalk]Oh, yeah, they fight each other alone. 

Cathy  23:45  

What's going on? And this was the thing that I'm sure we'll come back to when I came back to this is when I was rewatching. It in college, I realized that of the two people who spend the most time with each other, it's like Trowa and Heero. Because, yes, it is what arc where they actually go on a road trip, which like, 

Kat  24:03  

it's great. I wrote a thing 

Cathy  24:04  

like wiped it from my memory when I was thinking about the series, but it really drives home. You know, again, to your point like what of this series do I did I remember that was just from fanfic, and was just what like the fanfic I read very specifically. And so that was one of the things is like, when you come back as an adult, I was like, all of this stuff is so much more interesting to me because like, I actually, like, I don't get me wrong, I still have shipping opinions. But like, I'm older and I have I I'm famous for this. And Kat knows this. I like don't have OTPs. And I'm like not very good about actually being very loyal to pairings. And so as an adult coming back to this, I was like, Oh, this is actually really interesting because the permutations that fandom came up with also came from, like,  non-canon material, because there's a lot of non-canon material, like promotional images that bear no resemblance whatsoever to canon. 

Kat  24:54  

Okay, I would,  I would call those extra canonical, right?

Caitlin  24:58  

No, they're, they're extra canonical, they count in some form. 

Kat  25:02  

Right? 'Cause they're official.

Cathy  25:04  

I guess so. I mean, sure, we'll talk about that as time comes but like.

Caitlin  25:08  

Listen, a canon is not just the story. It's the entire media mix around it. It's those, it's those things that you can collect. It's the extra manga. It's Frozen Teardrop, 

Cathy  25:18  

Like, Gundam Wing actually, I think is one of the few franchises I know where like "pair the spares" was a real merchandising tactic. 

Kat  25:26  

Yes, it was. 

Cathy  25:27  

And so, so everybody had somebody... gay, I mean, like, not like, 

Kat  25:34  

Wufei had two! 

Cathy  25:35  

They had a gay and a straight interest that they were paired up with. And so, um, so it's like, fascinating to me to come back and be like, actually, the canon is a lot more flexible and interesting than I remembered it.

Caitlin  25:49  

The canon for me is like, remarkable in its commitment to not officially putting anyone together. Like it was, it's very good at balancing out all of the different pairings that it wants to support. 

Mallory  26:01  

Mm hmm. 

Caitlin  26:02  

Um, it's interesting to see which ones got picked up as the main two in fandom, which for me, were always 1x2 and 3x4 dominated the fandom, because they're both like, friendly, maybe talkative, personable guy and like silent, brooding, weirdo, 

Kat  26:22  

Warrior. 

Caitlin  26:22  

What fandom loves! Fandom loves that exact dynamic in every form. And so like, what 1, 1 and 3, were never going to work together because they're both silent and brooding. Fandom was never gonna pick that up. It's too It's too boring. It's not dynamic enough, right?

Mallory  26:37  

Like, you can't fight. There's no banter,

Cathy  26:39  

Which is actually weird, because if you go back and watch the episodes, you'll see it. Heero actually is not that quiet. And Trowa is like a nutcase. And so 

Kat  26:48  

they're really funny together, 

Cathy  26:49  

when they are together, they're actually incredibly dynamic in ways that in fact, the canon doesn't establish 1x2, or 3x4 to be. And so it is really fascinating, because I do agree with Caitlin. What came out of this canon is very different from what I think the show gives. And I don't know the show was like, open minded because it wanted to sell as much merch as possible or

Caitlin  27:13  

It's that.

Cathy  27:13  

Yeah, so I don't know.

Mallory  27:14  

Capitalism.

Kat  27:16  

I am gonna say I think the show is a 3x4 shipper. Like I think if the show had a pairing, it would be a three, it would be 3x4, like from my recollections of the show

Mallory  27:26  

Yeah

Caitlin  27:26  

I always thought that was true. But now 

Cathy  27:28  

I disagree. 

Caitlin  27:29  

I feel like I'm gonna go into this and and be like, they never

Kat  27:32  

Nobody else has a musical interlude.

Cathy  27:34  

But the but the thing is, here's Okay, so not to, like, make this too much about the pairing... But I also think 1x2 and 3x4 become established. I put that in quotes early in the series. And so it becomes entrenched and people assume that that's the pairing. But actually, I just remember so strongly when I went back and rewatched that I was like, there really is not that much evidence for Trowa and Quatre's like instantaneous connection because Quatre has that with almost every other pilot, and Trowa's relationship with Heero is like so much more interesting when I come back to it, even though I definitely think they would never work. They would like killing each other and instead as an adult.

Kat  28:12  

And I mean, I love that pairing. And like the one thing that came out of my rewatch a million years ago was I wrote a 1x3 fic cuz I really love those episodes, and fandom didn't do anything with it. But I feel like, I feel like Quatre and Trowa are framed slightly differently than all the other potential pairings so that they could be together.

Cathy  28:33  

Even up until Endless Waltz like, I really just feel like that that was an early series thing. And then as you go on into the series, that relationship while still important, was not really emphasized any more or less.

Kat  28:47  

But I mean, if it, if it comes out of the gate strong, [laughter] like

Caitlin  28:51  

That's all that matters

Kat  28:52  

I still think that the show was pushing that one if it pitched. Like if it was giving the most evidence to any one of them, I think the early stuff was really like, ~look at this beautiful pairing.~

Caitlin  29:04  

So wait do we all want to, maybe to end this episode, we should all go through and predict what are OTP or pseudo OTP for Cathy will be by the end of this rewatch. 

Kat  29:16  

But also tell me your fave character because that's what I asked like, 15 minutes ago.

Cathy  29:21  

Okay, Kat you first.

Kat  29:23  

Oh, well, my favorite character has always been Duo Maxwell. And I'm predicting that he's still going to be my fave character. And I am going to stake my flag on Duo/Wufei, 2x5.

Cathy  29:36  

Mallory?

Mallory  29:37  

I think from what I remember, I really liked Trowa, I thought Heero was too dour, but I also think that I might relate to him a lot more this time around. So I'm going to say that Heero is going to be my favorite character. And I've always liked...see, I don't know about fandom pairings. I want to say it'll be...well it was Duo/Heero before? No, but I've-- I really like Duo/Wufei so, like, I think that's just always gonna be my Gundam Wing ship.

Cathy  30:20  

So when I was a kid watching it my favorite was Duo Maxwell, but I know from my prior rewatching, or attempts to rewatch the series, that as an older person coming into the series, I actually like the girls a lot more, like Relena and Dorothy and Noin became my favorite characters and I did not give them the credit they deserved when I was watching it as a younger person. 

Cathy  30:41  

I also was 1x2 shipper but again, I know that what I came out of the series really shipping was disastrous Heero/Trowa, and then Duo/Wufei.

Caitlin  30:56  

Okay, I see we are all Duo/Wufei fans now.

Kat  30:59  

[crosstalk] That's why this is going to be the superior Gundam Wing podcast.

Caitlin  31:02  

Yeah. I feel like so, my favorite character when I was originally watching as a kid was Quatre. I think probably because like I always liked like, the friendly blondes in boy bands? 

Kat  31:13  

That go apeshit? 

Caitlin  31:15  

When I got older, I was more into Duo and Duo is was probably still my favorite character. I was into Duo/Wufei for a long time. I just think that they are funny together and terrible. And I actually really like Wufei a lot. I sort of admire that fake honor sort of thing. But I, since everybody said Duo/Wufei, I feel like I should say something else, which is that I think that I will get more into 3x4 again after this rewatch, because it's a comforting pairing, in some ways. It's a return. And we're all very full of anxiety right now. [laughter] And so we just need Quatre and stupid, crazy Trowa, you know, having their pure love connection that fandom imagined for them from the beginning.

Kat  32:02  

It's real.

Mallory  32:03  

I look forward to it. 

Cathy  32:04  

I do too. I also look forward to hating Treize because that's what happened the last time I rewatched this. He's such a fuck boy.

Kat  32:12  

I'm excited to love Dorothy and Relena.

Cathy  32:14  

My god, they're so good. Yeah, they're so good. That's what I should have said is my favorite pairing.

Kat  32:20  

Fandom definitely ruined me for a little bit, like, "urgh, Relena!"

Caitlin  32:24  

When I was a kid, part of the appeal of Gundam Wing fandom was in some ways that it was so sexist, and so I could like act out my own internalized misogyny at the time. And so like, I like I was definitely participating in that of like a group breaking up the boys, whatever. And then in later iterations, I like love Relena. So.

Kat  32:45  

Yeah, she was just such an easy reason for them to get together, right? For 1x2, but in the show, she's way more than a plot device. So that was kind of frustrating.

Caitlin  32:56  

In the show, she's easily the most one of the most interesting and active characters for sure.

Kat  33:02  

As podcast Daddy, I declare Episode Zero officially over. Thank you everyone for your time and catch us in two weeks with Episode One: The boy whose wings killed adolescence.

Caitlin  33:16  

Byeeee [laughter]

Transcribed by https://otter.ai

[ro-loves-louie]

Heyyy everyone! It’s definitely been a while........

So Coming back from my little hiatus I had an idea where I opened up A little more to you guys. I want to make a lot more friends who share my interest. I want to open up more so I can relate to more people and ask and answer questions that involve me and my interest. That being said here are some things about me that hopefully you might relate to!

1: I am a maladaptive daydreamer.

if you don’t know what MADD is, please look it up and maybe research it for more detail. In summary this means that I spend most of my life daydreaming excessively and making up chsracters and scenarios in my head. I have thousands of fantasy worlds that I use to escape reality. It is one of the best and worst things that have ever happened to me.

2: I Love acting.

ok I am a theatre kid. I love every musical out there and I love to spend my time watching movies and tv shows. Acting is my passion and I really am addicted to it. I love studying actors and actresses to see how they do their job and how they do it soo good. I must say I am actually pretty good at acting and I am proud of it. But this does tie into number 1, because I will act out my daydreams and even day dream about being a world famous actress.

3: I have anxiety and depression.

Yup it’s true. its not the best either. These two things are generally the cause for my daydreaming. I don’t wanna get in to deep for this one but hopefully you guys already understand what these disorders do.

4: I am a horse girl.

No I am not a crazy horse girl. I am an equestrian. I grew up with both sides of my family being very involved with horses. I actually had my own horse at the age of two. I have ridden western most of my life, but I have started learning English and started show Jumping. I love showjumping so much and it is my favorite sport. I Do not have a horse at the moment but I am working my butt of to afford one. (My family isn’t the wealthiest at the moment...)

5: I love k pop!

Yessssirrrr i do. My top favorite groups are Black Pink and bts but i listen to a Lot more groups. I love learning dances too.

6: I am learning Spanish and Korean

Both of my parents are fluent in Spanish because of LDS missions so I started to pick it up. I have taken Spanish classes and now speak at a comfortable intermideate level. I can speak quite a lot but I still have a lot more to learn. I just stated learning Korean like a week ago but I am finishing Hangul.

7: I love cartoons!!!!!

if you couldnt tell my page is based on a cartoon duck lmao. I love DuckTales, litteraly everything Cartoon Network, and a LOT more. I also loveeeee Disney cartoons too!! Nickelodeon also has AMAZING oness!!!

8: I am the biggest marvel fan EVERRRRR

If I talk about this too much we are gonna be here for a while so basically....

i know literally everything about marvel and the characters and story lines. My brother is the only boy in our family so he came to me with all of his interest and I would read comics with him. I can literally explain the whole entire Mcu and at one point I was to impatient waiting for endgame so I memorized the ENTIRE infinity war script. It took about 34 times too watch it but everyone does that.......... right?!?!

Btw Spider-Man is my favorite superhero ever and I love himmm soo much (I have this really cool Spider-Man cup and it’s great.)

9: I love art!

My grandpa, uncle, and cousin are all artist so it runs in the family. I don’t really post any art on here because Im kinda self conscious but hopefully I could start posting more soon! I draw both digitally and with paper And I love it!!

10: I also play volleyball!!

yup! I love volleyball and I’m pretty good at it too. It’s so fun and such a great sport. I don’t know if there is anything more to say other than I LOVE IT!!!

Soo here’s some stuff about me!! If you relate or have any questions please feel free to talk to me. I need a lot more friends and I would love to make new ones!!! Sorry for the long post and thank you guys so much!! Byeeee

[missbrightsky]

I didn’t know where else to go

Fics Masterlist

Previous Chapter

Chapter 12: Feyre

At seven-thirty precisely, there was a knock at my door. I yanked it open, already glaring at who I knew would be on the other side.

“How the hell did you get inside my building?” I asked before he could begin to talk.

A feline grin that did stupid things to my insides spread across his face. “You should really move to a better part of the city if any riffraff from off the street can just walk in.”

I narrowed my eyes, not willing to reply.

Rhys only lifted an eyebrow before saying, “Your sweet downstairs neighbor Miss Berry let me in after I offered to help her carry her groceries up. She said that you were a lucky girl to have such a nice, handsome young gentleman paying you a visit.” His grin grew into a smirk as he recounted the praise.

“Lucky fucking me,” I grumbled, stepping out of my apartment. I might have aimed for his toes, but he moved back in time to avoid them being crushed. I locked the door and shouldered past him. He stayed annoyingly close not close enough as we descended into the night. His car was parked right out front, a nondescript, black sedan, the same one from Sunday night. The stupid, long-legged prick managed to beat me to the door, opening it with a grand sweep and bow.

“Darling,” he purred, looking up at me from under his eyelashes, those almost violet eyes simmering with heat and mischief.

I was paying the price for letting the adrenaline get the best of me on Sunday.

I ignored him the best I could, sliding into the interior. Like Cas’s SUV, the car was clean and comfortable. Not a ridiculously high-end model, but something that was still elegant. Rhys shut my door and got into the driver’s side, smoothly pulling into traffic.

“So darling,” my teeth ground at the nickname, his midnight tone, “How was your day at work.

Don’t answer, don’t answer, don’t answer, “Fine,” shit.

A sideways glance from the corner of my eye revealed that he knew exactly what he was doing. Prick.

“Just fine?” he pressed on, “Not fabulous or downright terrible?”

“No, just fine,” I hissed.

“Oooooo, what a fine temper you’re in today, you and Amren will be happy to snap at each other while we all watch.”

“Amren’s in a bad mood too?” I blurted and then cursed myself for being curious. Rhys had a way of getting under my skin and then getting exactly what he wanted.

“She doesn’t have any good news for us, hence the meeting,” he replied, any teasing in his voice replaced by frustration.

“Ah,” was all I could say, the rest of the questions would have to wait for later.

The rest of the drive was in silence, both a relief and worry. The news must be that bad if Rhys quit flirting with me to brood instead. I didn’t let myself decide if I was happy or not about that.

I started to recognize the buildings near the compound. Another shipping yard appeared in front of us, this one a bit smaller and looked to be owned by a private company.

Sunday night it had been too dark and I had been too distracted by Rhys to take in many details when Cas drove me home. Now I could see a sign at the entrance to the yard.

Starlight Carriers

Once we entered the perimeter, Rhys turned right and rolled down his windows. A few presses on a number pad had one of the bigger and wider containers opening up, allowing him to drive through.

Rhys must have noticed my analyzing gaze. “The top half of our compound is actually inside the containers, forming a network of hallways and rooms. Most of the above-ground stuff is rooms for our men and supplies. The kitchen, training rooms, infirmary, and garage are all below ground.”

“Holy shit,” I whispered. I knew he and his family had money but this… this was wealth beyond what I thought.

Reading the look on my face, “The underground part was already here, some basement levels of an old building. The shipping containers were Cas’s idea. From there, it was a matter of a few weeks to get everything set up and electricity and water to where we need it. We may have money, but we don’t see the point in spending it recklessly. Most of it goes towards paying the men,” he finished with a shrug.

“Tell that to the K98 sniper rifle I saw on your face,” arching an eyebrow at him.

“You know your guns,” he sounded shocked, good.

“I have to,” was my only response.

“Well, who doesn’t like to splurge every now and then,” he admitted. I gave him a noncommittal hum. This was getting too close to flirting territory again.

When he parked by Cas’s SUV, I got out before he attempted to open my door again. Giving him a pointed glance, he turned and started towards a different door than what we went through a few nights ago. A short flight of stairs later and we were in a large room where the others waited.

The far end was dominated by several TV screens playing various news shows and… one cartoon was playing. Somehow, I knew that Cas was behind that.

“Good, you’re here,” Amren said shortly, that was all the greeting I got from her. she really was in a fine mood.

Trying to break the tension between Rhys and I with distance, I moved to the other side of the room to sit with Mor. A not extremely dramatic move with how much she and I had been texting, but hopefully enough of a line in the sand for him to read.

A mistake, as it turns out because that left the seat directly across from me open which meant that Rhys would either be directly in my eye line or just in the corner of it.

Focus on Amren and the meeting will be over soon.

It turns out that focusing on Amren wasn’t a problem. The news wasn’t good.

“Amarantha knows we’re here.”

That sentence alone set off a chorus of curse words. Based on Sunday night’s event, we had already guessed as much, but it was confirmed now.

Amren continued on, “We still don’t know what was in Sunday’s shipment, but based upon the movement of the men we’ve marked as hers, it’s most likely the bioweapons we’ve been waiting on.” This time, the room was silent. This was the bad news that they’ve been waiting for. A collective noose tightened around our necks.

“We need to find that shipment,” that was Cas, his mind already spinning with ideas.

“I’ve had tails on her men for days, they’re too well trained,” Az said softly, his usual cold mask cracking with a hint of frustration. “Even I can’t follow them,” a harsh admission.

“Someone will slip up,” Mor said, firm in her belief that a break will come.

“We can’t count on that,” Rhys said with an apologetic glance to her and Az, “We need to make a plan of action now.”

“How do you track someone that’s untraceable?” I mused, not realizing that I said it out loud. As a detective, I had to get creative to find who I was looking for. You think it would be easier given that everyone and their mother has a cell phone, but that has just made people more creative. I broke out of my thoughts, realizing that everyone was looking at me.

“What?” I asked, getting an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

“How much do you know about Stingrays?” Rhys asked, his violet eyes sparking with hope.

“I’m guessing you’re not asking about the animal,” I said flatly. I knew exactly what he was talking about. A Stingray was a device that can mimic cell phone towers to get phones to connect to them, therefore allowing the police to learn the phone's location and then track them. It was new and high tech and so, so, so illegal if I tried to access them without anyone else knowing. My precinct was the only one in the city who had access to them. “No.”

“We need access to them.”

“If by some miracle no one ever finds out that I helped y’all, then me trying to access the Stingrays will definitely get me fired, probably in jail.”

“If you can get us access to the Stingrays, then we’ll be able to find out who was there on that night, and then it would be easy to track their phones to where they’re all hiding,” Rhys explained, a pleading tone creeping into his voice. He probably didn’t even notice that his eyes had gone slightly like a puppy dog. Handsome bastard.

“Even if I wanted to, I would need a tech to help me work them, and there’s no one on the force I would trust to help me.”

“Cassian can help you,” Rhys gestured to him. I must have had a surprised look on my face. Cas had a talented mind for tactics and leading men, but technology would not have been my first or last guess.

Cas shot me a lazy grin, “What? You thought I was just a pretty face? Had I not been on the run from Amarantha, I could have gotten into any tech school I wanted.”

I gave him an impressed look, “Let me think about it.”

“We’re losing time as it is,” Amren hissed, silent until now.

“Take a few days, how about Saturday?” Rhys suggested, ignoring Amren. An action that earned him a look that said he should sleep with one eye open tonight.

“No, sorry, I can’t do Saturday.”

“Why?”

“I’m going to my boss's wedding.” A flash of amusement crosses his face and then disappeared. I decided not to waste the brainpower it would take to decode it; with Rhys it could mean anything.

“You need a date?” he asked, humor tingeing his voice.

I gave him my most sarcastic glare, “Yeah, I should definitely bring Velaris’s most wanted crime lord to my police captain's wedding.”

The tension in the room dissolved after that, everyone letting out a laugh, or in Amren’s and Az’s case, a small chuckle.

With a possible plan in the future, the meeting ended. Mor offering to drive me home. I almost turned to Rhys, asking if that was okay, but I stopped myself. It would be good to put that distance between us, especially when he offered to be my wedding date and a vision of him in a tux filled my mind. Asking him about Illyria could come later.

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[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

2010s Art: Music, Games, and TV

So I love all forms of art. It may not seem like it since I tend to stick mainly to movies, with the odd cartoon or video game thrown in, but that’s really because movies are more my thing due to not being massive time investments. Like, don’t get me wrong, I gamed, I watched TV, I listened to music, but it was a lot more casual than my deep dive into becoming a major cinephile.

With games and TV, it was mostly issues of money and time respectively. I have a few consoles, mostly Nintendo and Sony ones, and my wife helped me experience Xbox games, but I just don’t have the money needed to experience every good game that comes out. With TV, the time investment is the biggest roadblock, especially when all the best shows have hour-long episodes these days. With movies, I just have to spend 90 minutes to two hours on average; for TV, it’s countless hours I could be watching movies. As for music… well, I listened to a lot, I just don’t feel totally qualified to properly rank and list songs and albums.

So instead of the big decade-spanning list for movies that I’m doing, I’m going to go over some things I enjoyed from the past decade and maybe a few things I didn’t in music, TV, and video games. Here’s a little guide so you know what stuff is something I consider one of my absolute favorites in any given medium - if it’s from this decade, it will be in bold, and if it’s from a previous decade but I experienced it this decade, it will be underlined.

Television

I figured I’d get this out of the way first since it’s the medium I have the least experience with. Let me put it this way: I have seen only one season of Game of Thrones, the first one (and by all accounts I dodged a bullet by dropping that show). I also had the misfortune of jumping in to The Walking Dead right as it was gearing up for its abysmal second season, which turned me off that and led to me only watching an episode here or there. 

I had better luck watching live action shows on streaming. I managed to get through almost all of Pretty Little Liars on Netflix, which was a chore in and of itself; it’s a good show, but boy could it ever get arbitrary and frustrating. Speaking of Netflix, I think it goes without saying that Stranger Things is their best effort; from the likable cast of kids to the awesome soundtrack, even though it never really surpasses season one the show always has something cool going on in one of its plots. My other favorite from Netflix would probably be their take on A Series if Unfortunate Events, which is how you do adaptation expansion right; everything they add feels like it’s in service of fleshing out Lemony Snicket’s dismal world, as well as giving Patrick Warburton an incredible dramatic role as the Lemony narrator himself.

Amazon managed to score two hits in my book. The first is the unbelievably fun and charming Good Omens, a miniseries that somehow got me to love David Tennant and Michael Sheen more than I already did. The second was the gory joyride that is The Boys which while not the smartest or most original superhero satire is definitely the most fun.

While I didn’t watch the whole show and would not consider it one of my favorites, I do want to give props to Hannibal for introducing me to Mads Mikkelsen. As far as I’m concerned, he’s the only person aside from Hopkins worthy of playing everyone’s favorite cannibal. Another show I DO consider a favorite despite slacking on keeping up with it is Ash vs. Evil Dead; I only needed to see a single season of Bruce back with the boomstick to know this show was a masterpiece.

On the animated side I have much more to talk about. Not since the 90s have we been spoiled with so many genuinely great and varied cartoons. We got Adventure Time, Regular Show, Steven Universe… really, Cartoon Network raised the bar this decade and made up for an awful 2000s. They even finally gave Samurai Jack a conclusion, which despite the mixed results, was still a real exciting phenomenon to experience.

Of course, my favorite CN show came from Adult Swim. I am of course referring to Rick & Morty, a fun sci-fi adventure comedy that attracted the most obnoxious fanbase possible in record time. While certainly not a show you need a high IQ to understand and having an atrocious third season, it still manages to be funny and thought provoking in equal amounts. Seriously though. Fuck season 3.

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is another great show that I sadly fell off the wagon of around the fifth or sixth season. It never got bad of course but it never really engaged me like the older episodes, though what I’ve heard of the last season makes me wish I’d kept up with it. It was a great show with a lot of heart and character, and I’m not sure we’ll ever see a show like it again.

Netflix did not slack in the animation department; I didn’t catch their most famous show (it’s the one about a certain Horseman) but I did catch their fantastic take on Castlevania, which as a huge fan of the series was a real treat. Where the fuck is Grant though?

My two favorite shows of the decade, however, are what I see as the pinnacle of East and West: Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure and Gravity Falls. 

JJBA is a series I had vague passing knowledge of, only knowing its existence due to seeing Stone Ocean referenced on the Wikipedia page for air rods when I was younger and, of course, the memes that spawned from Heritage for the Future, which were inescapable back in the day. As soon as I got into the series, it became one of my biggest inspirations, teaching me you can be deep, complex, and filled with great character interactions while also being so batshit insane that every new and absurd power is incredibly easy to buy (looking forward to the rainbows that turn people into snails, animators). They managed to get through the first four parts and start up the fifth over the decade; so far my favorite part is four, mainly due to the magnificent bastard that is Yoshikage Kira (played time perfection by D.C. Douglas) and in spite of serial creep Vic Mangina playing the otherwise lovable asshole Rohan Kishibe.

Gravity Falls on the other hand is just a fun and engaging mystery show that manages to excel at being episodic and story-driven all at once. There’s only one or two “bad” episodes across two seasons, and it lasted just as long as it needed to, wrapping things up with a satisfactory ending that still gave fans a few mysteries to chew on. It also gave us Grunkle Stan, perhaps the greatest character in all of animation, the pinnacle of “jerk with a heart of gold” characters who is hilarious, badass, and complex all at once. This is my favorite western animated show…

...but then the last year of the decade threw a curveball and, if I’m being honest, is on par with Gravity Falls: Green Eggs and Ham. Netflix really wanted us to know 2D animation is back in 2019; between this show and Klaus, the future is looking bright for the medium. It’s a fun, funny roadtrip comedy that knows when to be emotional and when to be funny, and it’s all filtered through the wubbulous world of Dr. Seuss. It’s just a wonderfully delightful show.

And on the subject of JoJo, I had a kind of love-hate relationship with anime this decade. The attitudes of anime fans turned me off from anime for a long while. Sure, I checked out stuff like Attack on Titan and Sword Art Online, but neither series really clicked with me. The main anime I loved this decade were ones that started in the 2000s and ended in the 2010s, like Dragon Ball Z Kai and Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. I suppose I did enjoy My Hero Academia, which is a really fun show with an awesome and varied cast and great voice acting. Love Froppy, best girl for sure.

One of the most unfortunate things about this decade was how many great shows got screwed over by their networks. Sym-Bionic Titan, Thundercats, and The Legend of Korra were all great shows in their own right but were treated like shit by their respective networks. It really makes me upset that stuff like that not only happened, but continues to happen to this day.

But let’s not end on a bad note; let’s talk about the astounding returns old shows got. Invader Zim got a movie as did Hey Arnold, with the latter in particular finally wrapping up the dangling plot threads, but those are actual TV movies so they don’t really fit here; what DOES fit is Static Cling, the triumphant return of Rocko’s Modern Life. A forty minute special, it follows Rocko and his friends as they navigate the modern age, trying to bring back Rocko’s favorite cartoon. Rachel Bighead’s arc in this in particular is pretty groundbreaking and awesome. 

Also awesome was the first few episodes of Samurai Jack’s return, though it did end up petering out halfway through the season and ended on an anticlimactic note. Still, Tom Kenny’s Scaramouche, the sheer amount of continuity, and the awesome final curbstomp battle against Aku are worth giving this a watch. And if nothing else, stuff like this gives me hope for future revivals. What will we see next? Gargoyles comeback? Batman Beyond continuation? KENNY AND THE CHIMP REVIVAL?! Chimpers rise up!

Music

Much like everyone, I listened to a lot of music this decade. There was a lot of shit, and I definitely used to be one of those “wow no one makes good music anymore” morons, but I grew out of that and learned to look in the right places.

Let’s start with the albums I loved the most. Continuing her meteoric rise from the 2000s, Lady Gaga drooped her magnum opus, Born This Way, an album that successfully showcases her skills as she takes on numerous pop styles. No two songs sound the same, and with a couple of exceptions every song slaps. While we’re on the subject of pop stars, Gaga’s contemporary and lesser Katy Perry managed to hit a home run with the fun bit of pop fluff that was Teenage Dream.

Weird Al was sorely missed for most of the decade, but what albums he did drop featured some of his best work. While Alpocalypse doesn’t hold up quite so well, it’s still solid, but even then it is blown out of the water by Mandatory Fun, an album that just refuses to stop being funny from start to finish. And that’s not the only funny albums this decade; aside from artists I’ll get more into later, George Miller AKA Filthy Frank released Pink Season as one of his last great acts as his character of Pink Guy. The album is as raunchy and filthy as you’d expect. And then for unintentional comedy, Corey Feldman dropped Angelic 2 The Core, an album so musically inept that it ends up becoming endearing; it’s The Room of music.

As I gamed a lot this decade I got to experience a lot of great video game soundtracks, but the two I found to be the absolute best were Undertale and Metal Gear Rising’s. I couldn’t tell you which soundtrack is better, and I’ve actually made a playlist on my iPod containing my favorite tracks from both games. Pokemon had solid soundtracks all decade, but they definitely were better in single tracks such as Ultra Necrozma’s theme from USUM and Zinnia’s theme from ORAS.

And speaking of individual songs, there were a lot I really loved. The disco revival in the easel ide half of the decade lead to gems like “Get Lucky,” “Uptown Funk,” and… uh, “Blurred Lines.” The controversy to that one might be overblown, but it sure isn’t anything I really want to revisit.

Corey Feldman may be the king of unintentional comedy, but this decade was seriously ripe with so bad it’s good music. The crown jewel is without a doubt the giddy, goofy “Friday,” but I think the equally stupid but also endlessly more relatable Ark Music production “Chinese Food” is worth some ironic enjoyment as well. 

Meme songs in general were pretty enjoyable, though it came at a price. Remember when everyone tried to be funny by ripping off “Gangnam Style?” Remember when people took that Ylvis song at face value? Irony and satire were lost on the masses. I think the best mene song of the decade, though, is “Crab Rave,” a bouncy instrumental dance track with a fun music video and an absurd yet hilarious meme tacked to it. And then we have “The Internet is for Music,” a gargantuan 30 minute mashup featuring every YTMND, 4chan, Newgrounds, and YouTube meme you could think of (at the time of its release anyway),

Then we get into artists. Comedy music was great this decade, with Steel Panther and The Lonely Island putting out great work all decade, but by far my favorite funny band is Ninja Sex Party. Dan “Danny Sexbang” Avidan and Brian “Ninja Brian” Wecht are pretty much my favorite entertainers at this point, with them easily being able to go from doing goofy yet epic songs where they fuck or party to doing serious and awesome cover albums where Dan flexes his impressive vocals. A big plus is how all of their albums are easily some of my favorites ever, with not a single bad CD, and that’s not even getting into their side project Starbomb. These guys are a treasure.

Then we have Ghost, a Swedish metal band who play up the Satanic panic for all it’s worth. These guys captured my interest when I heard the beautiful “Cirice” on the radio, and despite that song rocking the fuck out, Imagine my surprise when it ended up being only middle of the road awesome for this band! With killer original songs like “Rats,” “Mary in the Cross,” and “Square Hammer” to a awesome covers like “Missionary Man” and “I’m a Marionette,” it’s almost enough to get a guy to hail Satan. I think they appeal to me mainly because they have a style very in line with the 80s, most evident on tracks like “Rats.” 

While I’d hesitate to call him one of my favorite musicians yet (he is really good so far though), one of my favorite people in entertainment is Lil Nas X. From his short but sweet songs that crush genre boundaries to his hilarious Twitter feed, this guy is going places and I can’t wait to see what those places are.

And finally, the guy I think may be one of the greatest creative geniuses alive and who has nearly singlehandedly shaped Internet culture with everything he does… Neil Cicierega. While it’s not like I only discovered him in the 2010s - the guy has been an omnipresent force in my life since Potter Pupper Pals debuted - he definitely became the guy I would unflinchingly call the greatest artist of our time over that period.   Whether he’s releasing the songs under his own name or as Lemon Demon, you can always be sure that the songs are going to burrow into your brain. His Lemon Demon album Spirit Phone, which features songs about urban legends and the horrors of capitalism, is easily my pick for album of the decade. And then under his own name he released three mashup mixtapes: Mouth Sounds, Mouth Silence, and Mouth Moods. All three are stellar albums, but only Mouth Moods has “Wow Wow,” the bouncing track about homoerotic bee-loving Will Smith and outtakes so good they deserve to be on the next album.

Video Games 

Having a PC this decade was great because it let me experience a lot of games I probably wouldn’t have otherwise, like Half-Life, BioShock, Earthnound, Mother 3, and Final Fantasy VI and VII. All of these and more are among my favorite games of all time now, but we’re here to talk about the stuff from this decade I consider great.

It’s hard to talk about this decade in gaming without mentioning Skyrim. Yes, it has flaws and the main storyline is a bit undercooked, but there’s so much fun to be had dicking about in the wilderness it’s hard to be too mad. And if you have mods, there are endless opportunities to expand the game. The same is true for the other game I have sunk countless hours into, The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth. Not only is there a thriving modding community, but it has been supported and encouraged by the creators and some mods have even made the leap into becoming fully canon! It’s always a blast to revisit and see how far I can break the game with item combos.

Surprisingly, Batman managed to get not one, not two, but THREE awesome licensed games this decade! Arkham Asylum, Arkham City, and the unfairly maligned Arkham Origins all kick as much ass as the Dark Knight himself. The former two reunite Mark Hamill and Kevin McConroy as Joker and Batman while the latter features numerous stellar boss battles. The combat in these games is so graceful and fluid, you WILL feel like Batman at some point, be it after flawlessly clobbering two dozen mooks or silently eliminating a room of thugs before they even realize you’re there.

Pokémon had a bit of a rocky decade; it started out strong with the fifth generation, the best games in the series with a great story, region, and sidequests and then just went downhill from there. Not incredibly so, of course - the games were always fun at least - but gens VI through VIII were not the most graceful steps into 3D. Still, every gen managed to produce some of my all-time favorite Pokémon. Gen V had Volcarona, Chandelure,  and Meloetta; Gen VI gave us Hoopa, Klefki, the Fairy type in general, and a gorgeous mega evolution for my favorite Pokémon, Absol; Gen VII had the Ultra Beasts and Ultra Necrozma, some of the coolest concepts in the series, as well as Pyukumuku; and Gen VIII gave us Cinderace, Dracovish, Dracozolt, Polteageist, Hatterene, Snom, and Zacian. And those are just samplings mind you, these gens are full of hits.

Bringing back old franchises yielded amazing results. Look no further than the triumphant return of Doom in 2016, which had you ripping and tearing through the forces of Hell with guns, chainsaws, and your bear fucking hands. This game is HARDCORE. Less bloody and gory but no less awesome was the return of not just Crash Bandicoot, but Spyro as well in remakes that are easily the definitive ways to experience the games. And don’t even get me started on the remastered DuckTales!

Platinum games did not fuck around this decade, delivering Bayonetta 2 and Metal Gear Rising. The former is a balls-to-the-wall sequel to the amazing original Bayonetta that, while lacking in bosses quite as impressive as the first game’s, is more polished and has a fun story and a better haircut for Bayonetta; the latter is an action game so insane it makes the rest of the Metal Gear franchise look tame in comparison. The latter in particular is in my top ten games ever, with every boss battle feeling epic, all the music kicking ass, and Raiden truly coming into his own as a badass.

Speaking of Metal Gear, the divisive The Phantom Pain easily earns its place here. While much fuss has been made about the game being “unfinished,” it still has a complete and satisfying ending even if it doesn’t totally wrap up the dangling plot threads the young Liquid Snake leaves behind. The overarching themes as well as Venom and his relationship with characters like Kaz, Paz, and ESPECIALLY Quiet make this game, with his and Quiet’s being particularly beautiful and tragic. The Paz quest, Quiet’s exit, and the mission where Snake has to put down his men after they get infested with parasites are all some of the most heartbreaking moments in the franchise. But it’s not all tears; there’s plenty of fun to be had harassing Russians in Afghanistan while blaring 80s synth pop from your Walkman. Oh yeah, and fuck Huey.

The Ace Attorney series also thrived, with both Spirit of Justice and Dual Destinies transitioning the series into 3D a lot more graceful than some other franchises while still maintaining the with and charm the series is known for. And if that wasn’t enough for my point-and-cluck adventure needs, Telltale had me covered with The Wolf Among Us and the first season of The Walking Dead. The stories and characters of those games are so good, it’s enough to make you sad they never got a timely sequel or sequels that weren’t shit respectively.

This decade is when I really got into fighting game, though I’m not particularly good. I supported Skullgirls (and am even in the credits!), and got into Ultimate Marvel vs. Capcom 3 and JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: All-Star Battle (and I also got into its spiritual predecessor, Heritage for the Future). But by and large my favorite fighting game of the decade and the one I’m actually pretty good at is Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, the most ridiculously ambitious crossover in video game history. The fact that the game is STILL getting more characters added is a testament of how insanely great the game is because instead of being mad that there’s so much DLC, people are going rabid waiting for news of more. It’s such an awesome, complete game out the door that the DLC feels earned rather than half a game being held hostage. Other devs, take note!

A lot of franchises put their best foot forward for sequels. God of War III was an awesomely bloody finale to the original journey of Kratos, with more epic bosses than ever; now he’s off fighting Norse gods, and I hear that game is even better! Portal 2 is just an absolute blast, and easily surpasses the first game on the merit of having Cave Johnson alone; the fact we get Wheatley and the malfunctioning personality cores honestly feels like overkill. Then we have BioShock… 2. While it’s certainly not as good as the first game, I think it was a lot of fun, and it got way too much flak.

 I think it definitely aged better than Infinite which, while still a good game in its own right (it’s hard to hate a game with a character as endearing as Elizabeth), definitely was not warranting the levels of acclaim it got with such a muddled narrative. “Overrated” and “overhyped” are not words I keep in my vocabulary and I certainly would not describe Infinite as such, but I do feel like people got swept up in the gorgeous visuals and the story bits and characters that are effective and so weren’t nearly as critical of its flaws. It’s still a good, fun game with an interesting world, but it pales in comparison to the other two BioShocks. I feel like The Last of Us is in a similar boat. That being said, I couldn’t tell you why; it has a great story, good characters, plenty of replayability, and fascinating enemy design. But despite all that, I appreciate this game more than love it. It’s the Citizen Kane of video game sin that regard at least.

I’d be remiss to not mention the big indie successes of the decade. Shovel Knight is easily one is the greatest platform era ever made, taking everything great about the platformers on the NES and SNES, removing the bullshit, and delivering numerous bonus campaigns with unique playstyles. Then there was Abobo’s Big Adventure, a marvelous mashup of all sorts of games starring the beloved Double Dragon mook as he goes on a bloody quest to save his son. It’s a blast and there is tons of variety but some sections are definitely as hair-pullingly difficult as the games that inspired them. And then there is Doki Doki Literature Club, the free visual novel that brutally subverts your expectations. Sadly, I do feel the game loses some impact on subsequent playthroughs, but it’s still a great, effective story that skillfully utilizes meta elements.

Still, the greatest indie success of them all is Toby Fox’s masterpiece, Undertale. Charming, funny, emotional, and populated by a cast of some of the most fun and lovable characters ever conceived, this game was an instant smash and is still talked about to this day. Sure, things like Sans have been memed to death, but it’s hard to not just love and cherish the beautiful world Toby Fox managed to create. This game may not be the greatest game of all time, but for what it is I wouldn’t hesitate to name it the game of the decade.

There was a lot of great art in the 2010s, and while I couldn’t get around to all of it, I’m so happy with what I got to experience. Here’s hoping that the 2020s can be just as amazing!

[popculturebuffet]

Pinky and the Brain: A Pinky And the Brain Christmas Review or I Just Think Schotzie’s Neat

Christmas Continues on this blog... and getting away from one set of Christmas commissions and into another, I offered my friend Blahdiddy three commissions as a present. The other two we’ll get to eventually, but with Animaniacs on the brain, heh, due to the reboot, he selected two Pinky and the Brains and one Animaniacs for me to cover. And while I intended to cover this one sometime this month anyway, my friend’s recent and sad covid diagnosis meant i’m bumping this one all the way up to the front of the line so he has some christmas cheer during this rough time. So with that in mind let’s talk about pinky, pinky and the brain brain brain brain brain shall we? Of course we can’t really talk about pinky and the brain without talking about Animaniacs. I absolutely love the series, I grew up with it as a kid and reconnected with it as an adult when it ended up on netflix. It was smart, well animated and most importantly really fucking funny. I highly recommend checking both the original and reboot of it out some time if you have Hulu. Speaking of the reboot while I might go on in full about it at some point it’s pretty good, with some creatvie jokes, some nice updates, with Rita Anita Anrita being a great new addition to the warner side of things. It’s only real flaw is it gets a bit reptitious as for the most part there’s only really the warners and pinky and the brain with a few exceptions one of which DAMN well deserved at least two segments and we all know which one that is. 

Bring.. this.. to series. The warners and pinky and the brain segments weren’t bad, but as is inevitible in a screwball comedy some just weren’t as good as others and those fell harder when you’ve already seen 2 or 3 better versions of this sort of skit in the season. They did really find their groove towards the end and if you like both Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain, or even just one or the other, it’s worth checking out.  But enough about the reboot let’s talk about those labratory mice whose genes have been spliced. Thanks to wikipedia, I now know the duo were based on Eddie Fitzgerald and Tom Minton, who worked with Tom Rutgeter on Tiny Toon adventures, with menton being the one who came up with Narf, even saying it in one episode of Tiny Tunes. During the creation of animaniacs, Bruce Timm, yes THE Bruce Timm, sketched the two, and Ruetger added mouse ears and the rest was history. Maurice LaMarche was the one who added the Orson Welles to the character, as LaMarche saw the Orson Welles in Brain, ran with it and got the part and a long and storied career in voice acting as a result. In a nice and fitting bit of contrast, Rob Paulsen got the part.. because he was already on the show. Not to downplay Paulsen’s clear talent, I just find it hilarious. 

That’s about what I could dig up on the behind the scenes of the show. From what I can tell it was greenlit because Animaniacs was a massive it, and Pinky and the Brain was the most popular segment, so it just made sense. The show would likewise be a massive sucess with both adults and kids, and go on for three seasons and what should legally be considered a war crime. 

For those of you blissfully unaware yeah, that happened, no no one people actually LIKED from Tiny Toons was in it. And yeah if you want me to talk about it commission it otherwise not going near this one. While I do need to tackle more bad animation... I’ve successfully avoided watching an episode of this show for 22 years next wedsday, I’m not breaking the streak for free. 

But some.. things aside I remembered liking the series as a kid but just never got around to seeking it out as an adult. I had nothing against the animaniacs segments and I even still have a stuffed brain doll I got at a garage sale.. the pinky is sadly missing and persumed dead. I just wasn’t as bit into it as I was the slappy bits rewatching animaniacs and didin’t really see reason to watch the show. Watching this though made me realize I was wrong and I probably watch more of it in the future This special is damn good, i’m pleased ot review it and to revive and old childhood memory. So with all the exposition out of the way let’s talk Pinky, PInky and the brain brain brain brain christmas edition after the cut. 

This was indeed a special: while it was presumably produced with season one of the show and is packaged with it both on DVD and on Hulu, where I watched it, the special was aired in prime time and even put on it’s own VHS.. which I found out and of course, like with my review of the Darkwing Duck Pilot, had to use as the art for old VHS’ tapes for cartoons.. was really fucking beautiful and it’s a nice break from my traditional screencaps.   So we open with a clever Christmas rendition of the theme, frequently sprinkling in bits of other christmas stuff, utterly fantastic. The intro animation is less impressive as it’s literally just the regular intro but with a stock snow effect over everything. In case you thought Ducktales doing that was a new thing. I do not blame the team however, as apparently they only had a week to get the scripts out, so I highly doubt warner was forking out more cash for the animation than they had to. They still forked out enough to make it LOOK really good mind you, something I wish they’d do more often with their DTV Movies but do do with their animated shows still with certain exceptions so good on them, i’m just saying they clearly cared more about money than having a memorable christmas opening. Given a budget to actually make one, i’m sure the animators would’ve come up with something lovely, and i’m sure the same is true of Ducktales and other shows and like i’ve said, i’m highly in favor of shows actuallly doing unique openings for the holidays, especially since Holiday episodes tend to get reaired every year as long as the show is in circulation on the network. Sometimes even if it isn’t. So it’s fully worth the effort to fork out a little extra for this as while you’ll most likely only use it once, you’ll be using the special for years. You can afford to treat yourself networks come on. It’s...

Just like Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain. But onto the episode itself after 80 years. We find Pinky writing his Christmas list to santa, complete with Narf, a gag I like. As usual for a comedy show, I will try to gloss over as much of the gags as possible, to avoid repetttion but yeah this episode is really damn funny and reminded me just how good these characters are. Maurice and Rob just have perfect chemistry. It’s like Tom and Jerry: It’s a very simple premise, that one being “Cat chases mouse and Mouse beats shit out of mouse”, and pinky and the brain of course being “Super genuis mouse and dimwitted but loveable sidekick try and takeover the world eveyr night”. But a simple premise can be used just about anywhere and adapated for anything. To me a cartoon’s premise only has to be as complicated as it needs to be to work. Sometimes you have a vast complex tapestry behind the world like She Ra, Steven Universe or Avatar with lots of planning and ins and outs and deep character stuff.. and sometimes you just have two mice who get into shenanigans because one is a would be dictator who sounds like orson welles and the other’s a loveable british weirdo/moron. Sometimes simple just works. 

Anyways, Brain, noticing Pinky’s distracted and replaces himself with a horrifying poorly made doll of himself called Noodle Noggin, which is both an excellent name and not the only time they’d use the name either, as there was an animaniacs short about Brain making himself a fad to endear himself to the children of the future with the same name. It’s just an inherently funny set of words, but also shows Brain’s genius in a subtle and clever way as he never spells it out, but despite sounding kind of ridiculous for such a buttoned up intellectual like brain... he knows that’s the kind of name kids will eat up. His schemes may often fail, but he’s an objectively brilliant schemer and i’ts often either PInky’s incompetence or his own miscalculation of humanity, either over or underestimating them, that undoes Brain.  Back to the plot, so Brain’s plan is to distribute noodle noggins around the world, make it the hot new toy, and as always, take over the world. Problem is naturally two Mice simply don’t have the resources to make the billions of dolls. But PInky stumbles upon the solution in the paper: a want ad for elves! Everything about that sentence except “pinky stumbles upon the solution” has not aged paticuarlly well, but point is they have a plan and we have our christmas special.  This does bring me to my one problem with the special.. Brain’s weird inconsistency towards Santa. What I mean is he spends the portion doubting Santa can do anything he’s claimed to despite being proven frequently he can. That part is not all that annoying as it’s in character with him and while yes, he is a talking mouse, he’s also a man of science and reason and Santa is the opposite of that. That would be fine... IF it wasn’t for the fact that said magical bollocks weren’t constantly part of his plans. Despite Brain constantly throughought the special doubting Santa... his plans FREQUENTLY rely on everything we’ve heard about him being right. His initial plan here ENTIRELY runs on the fact Santa has a massive workforce to make the toys yet even if that’s true by Brain’s own logic, he wouldn’t be able to deliver them. Later when the boys need to escape, They hide with the Reindeer despite Brain just saying santa can’t be everywhere in one night.. which if he can’t then the odds are slim he’ll wind up at Acme Labs isn’t it? It would be fine if the special acknowledged any of this outside of one bit we’ll get to, but other than that one bit.. they don’t. IT’s just really frustrating and really sticks out since the rest of the special is perfection, so this one failing bit really grates. That being said, it dosen’t last long enough to really drag the episode down as a whole, just to annoy me a bit every so often. It speaks to the episodes quality that the bad part ONLY drags so much because everything else is so well put together.  So our boys head to the north pole with the help of a kooky pilot and a santa dummy, this pilot is voiced by Tress MacNeile and is easily one of the best parts of the special. And naturally given their luck, she asks them to take the wheel so the plane instead jerks and causes them to fall out. Luckily they end up near Santa’s workshop and soon apply for temp work with local head of things and gruff type Shotzie, played by Jeff Bennett. And yes that is his name.  I like Shotzie: he’s a goateed elf and Bennett just plays him well.. hard to explain honestly I may just like his name and Bennett’s voice for him, one he used before in animanaics for various bit parts and in shows after this, it’s just a voice i’ve always liked. 

They get put to work in the mail room, which is the bit I mentioned: Brain earlier scoffed at Santa answering all the letters with Pinky simply suggesting that Santa had his elves go through all of them. Turns out Pinky was right... while he may be a BIT stupid, one intresting thing i’ve found about Pinky after watching the reboot that ironically the friend who comissioned this and I discussed is that he’s not ENTIRELY stupid, it’s just , much like Dan from Dan Vs his knowledge is just random.. he can not know how a lot of things work, but sometimes like in this instance Pinky generally just GETS something. It’s part of why he and Brain are such a good team despite their failures: Brain is all about planning and thought and research, Pinky is about intuition and gut instinct. He just does things and it often works out. This also makes their recently added backstories all the more brilliant as they explain this well: Pinky started life just being told to find the diffrence in cheeses and thus was taught form childhood to trust in himself and his weird brain. Brain was cruelly torturued with an experiment on learned behaviors via electroshock, and was taught to never give up control again, to always know what’s going on and to always control it. It perfectly sums up who the two are and why they are that way.  Brain however quickly pivots, as the mail room ends up being the perfect location to start his plans. Since their job is to file away what each person wants Brain simply adds Noodle Noggin to it and plans to put his plans into the workshop. While Santa and Schotzie are suprised and baffled, Santa quickly adds it to the list. However things hit a snag when Schotzie gets supscious when the two try to sneak into the blueprint room to drop theirs off and he accidently yanks off their disguises leading to a REALLY fun chase scene, as the boys end up in a toy wherehouse and thus try out various toy cars: a barbie dream car that dosen’t have a working motor, a toy truck that dosen’t go very fast, and finally an rc car that while fast naturally just means Schotzie can grab it and capture them. It’s easily my faviorite scene of the episode just for how clever it is and as someone whow as a kid around the time this came out, I applaud the accuracy.. granted I didn’t have any of those personally but I had lots of friends so yeah. 

So our heroes are interrogated.. and again Brain brilliantly pivots. Schotzie assumes since they have the blueprints their spies for the easter bunny or the tooth fairy or Herschel, the Hanukah Goblin. Why Herschel never got his own Hannukah special trying to stop Pinky and the Brain from using it to take over the world, I genuinely do not know and that’s something the reboot really needs to adress in the future. Seriously Hannukah needs a mascot and it’s either Herschel or the Hannukah Zombie. Kwanza already has Kwanzabot. I want to see more of Herschel the Hannukah Goblin dammit!. I love goblins. Especially this one.

And this one

And most of all this one

I likes goblins. It’s a thing. So anyway, point is Schotize has the blueprints taken in while our boys slip out and sucessfully make their way outside, though they have to find a way home to turn on the mind control device. They see Santa and brain being a dick refuses to let pinky hand in his letter.. but does as mentioned earlier have them pose as reindeer.  So our heroes make their way home and in time to be able to activate the device once santa’s route’s finished!

And.. then land directly on the mind control device thing, meaning they now have to scramble to repair it. Oh and Pinky is inconsolable after realizing Santa didn’t get his letter and Brain is a HUGE dick about it. Easily the worst i’ve seen him just far more focused on his machine than his friend’s wel lbeing especially since ALL he needs from pinky is for him to throw one lousy switch. 

But we then get easily the best part of the entire special. As Brain scrambles to rebuild his device while abusing his best friend we get a really nice tense sequence as Brain rebuilds while kids all over the world warmly receive noodle noggin. I mean.. it’s not the creepiest doll I’ve seen a kid enjoy. 

Also Bill Clinton gets one because the series apparently really likes “Bill Clinton is stupid jokes” Oh you poor innocent dears who haven’t had to suffer through the president being revealed to be a sexual predator, the one after him being even dumber if not a predator, the one after that being easily one of the best people around, and the outgoing one being a waking nightmare whose both a preadator and dumb beyond all comprehension ina dangerous and soul crushing way. 

But yeah onto the good part, Brain, for whatever reason, reads the letter.. and finds Pinky asked for nothing. He just wanted to give Brain the world at long last, recognizing his friend really and genuinely means well for it and that he’s worked hard to conquer it. And with that goal in reach, with the very thing he’s always wanted his... Brain instead uses the device to wish a merry christmas. He sees through his friend’s kindess and selflessness that he himself.. has been selfish once again turning something into a world destroying plot and being cruel to his best friend... when all his best friend wanted was to selflessly make sure he finally got what he wanted. It’s then that Brain, for all his cold and cynical logic and superiority complex, realized the true meaning of christmas, which i’ve said before and i’ll say again: it’s about giving, about giving someone something with your heart and soul just to be nice with no expectation of something in return. It’s about being selfless for once instead of selfish. I’ts about love. And Brain loves his friend too much to destroy his faviorite holiday. For once the world can wait.. and for once they all join in saying merry christmas to one another and in love and camradire. And I know not everyone celebrates christmas, there are other winter holidays and not everyone in the world would willingly do this. I know all that.. but the special has such a well meaning message, I really can’t be mad at that or get into the weeds too much> This isn’t some jackass making an entire movie, of which there have been several, saying “There’s a war on christmas” which instead equates to them just bitching about not everyone celebrating HIS holiday. It’s about a mouse for one moment truly being selfless and putting ihs loyal and faithful friend over his greatest want to give him a nice christmas and to do something nice for the world instead of trying to take it. And that.. that’s really damn heartmelting.  So we end on the two exchanging presents, with it being a little extra heartwarming as Brain likely already got Pinky something meaning even before his big revelation, he really does care beneath all the dope slaps. Pinky got him a keychain of the world and rather than be frustrated like you’d think.. Brain just takes it in stride. It is christmas after all.. the world.. it can wait. For now it’s just the two of them having one moment in time, this merry christmas.  Final Thoughts: If it wasn’t obvious, I loved this freaking special. It’s funny, clever and has one hell of an ending. There isn’t much more to say other than go watch it if you have Hulu.. you will not regret it and a sepcial thanks to Blah for comissioning this. it was an amazing time and is now a competitor for a spot on my best christmas special list. For now though it’s just really good and I say go check it out. Merry christmas, happy holidays and later days. 

[purplesurveys]

918

Have a friends survey, because I’m really missing mine.

-- List 8 Friends of Either Gender --

1. Andrew 2. Jo 3. Aya 4. Gabie 5. Hannah 6. Angela 7. Laurice 8. Aliyah

Questions About These Friends

Does number 4 have a driver’s license? Yeah. I’m pretty sure we were part of the first few people in our high school batch who learned how to drive and get our licenses.

Can number 7 speak another language? Well yeah, she can speak Filipino. Everyone on the list can at least speak Filipino.

Does 2 know your parents well? Not so much. She knows the basic stuff about my parents that I tell everyone, like how my dad works abroad.

Have 3 and 5 been in the same room together? Multiple times, until Aya graduated. All three of us were in the same applicant batch in our org so we spent a loooot of time together.

Does 1 have similar music tastes to you? Broadly, yeah. I know we both like R&B and hip-hop but he’s faaaar more passionate about the genre and he’s a lot better at picking out artists and songs.

Has 6 ever stayed at your house? She’s visited a handful of times, but I prefer going to her house instead. I don’t really have a lot to offer here whereas we never run out of things to do at her place.

When did 3 last text you? If we are talking of strictly texts, November 2018. Aya was never a good replier on text lol. But my last notification of her in general was at 4 AM today, when she sent a meme to our friends’ group chat.

Does 5 have any pets? If so, what do they have? Nope. WELP I don’t know actually. She lives all the way in Bacolod so her home life doesn’t get raised much. I know she loves dogs though.

Does 7 live in the same town/city as you? Nah, she’s a south baby through and through.

Have you ever lent something important to 8? I’ve never even met her yet. We keep planning to especially since she works in Metro Manila now, but our schedules just never work out.

Can number 1 sing well? Yes. He’s done a lot of singing gigs and as far as I know he even put out an EP at one point. He has a sick stage name too.

Does 2 have any siblings? Nah, she’s an only child.

If 4 called you at 2 AM, what would your reaction be? Take it and assume she has trouble falling asleep.

Who is 8′s best friend? I’m not sure; I don’t know her all that well. I would assume it’s someone all the way in Mindanao, since that’s where she grew up and went to school and her whole life is there - she really only moved to Metro Manila for work. That’s why I feel for her sometimes and keep offering to meet up, so she can feel less lonely.

Does 6 have a favourite tv show? If so, what is it? She loooves watching TV series but I never knew what her favorite is. Good question, I’ll have to ask her this soon.

Who out of 5 and 7 knows you the best? I say they both know me on the same level but I think Laurice does slightly more. We’ve had deeper conversations, so it’s a safe guess.

Does 4 have a boyfriend/girlfriend? You are reading her answers right now. ;)

Does 2 have a career/knows what they want to be? Yes, she’s always wanted to be a journalist. She’s entering her senior year now and I’m really proud and super impressed with her for being able to keep up such a demanding, brutal passion; I was burned out from journ by freshman year. She even helps run a fact-checking website now :) It had just been a requirement in her class to come up with a fact-checking website but theirs got SO successful, racked up some awards, and now it’s still going.

Have you ever kissed 1? No. He’s like a brother to me and that just sounds like the weirdest scenario.

Does 3 have or want children? Yes. I know she wanted them when she was with Jo, but I’m not sure if she’s changed her mind lately.

Does 6 have any piercings or tattoos? Yep, on her ears.

Do your parents know 8? No. She’s an internet friend, so I never get to raise it in conversations. And I doubt they’ll be happy if they found out I made a friend on the interwebs anyway.

Which Number...

Have you had romantic feelings for? 4.

Have you told a secret to? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8. I’m pretty open with my secrets, as dumb as that sounds lol

Have you shared a bed with? 2, 3, 4, 6, 7.

Have you watched a movie with? I remember watching The Devil Wears Prada with 2 and 3. I’ve watched several movies with 4.

Have you seen cry? 2, 3, 4, 6.

Have seen you cry? 1, 4, 5. 5 hasn’t seen me cry but she has definitely heard me.

Have cooked you something? 6 and 7 :) They’re also the biggest mom friends on the list, so I’m not surprised.

Have a boyfriend/girlfriend? 1, 4, 6. I’m not sure if 2 and 3 are still together; we never get to update each other anymore. Have met your parents? 2, 3, 7 from a meeting we once held at my house. And 4 and 6, of course - they’re my mom’s favorites.

Have been to the same school/college as you? Everyone except 8.

About Number One What age are they? He turned 22 in June.

Have you met their parents? Never. He can’t give less of a shit about his dad so I don’t care for him, though. I know he’s super protective of his mom.

Have you ever been in a relationship with them? Not at all. He wouldn’t be my type, and like I said he’s a brother to me more than anything else.

Do they like most of your other friends? We mostly have mutual friends, so. I know he likes my best frieinds though - he was even the one who reminded me about putting Angela on my thesis acknowledgments.

How often do you two meet up and/or talk? Back in school we used to see each other around 1-2 days a week. He’s a little busier than I am since he takes side gigs, so he’s not in campus all the time.

When did you last argue? We’ve never fought but the last time I got quite upset with him was last December. We were rushing to get our thesis draft submitted on time and apparently he submitted the file to our professor’s VIBER. He for sure got an earful from me that day.

What is their favourite food? I’m not sure. He does tend to have unpopular food opinions so I wouldn’t be surprised if his favorite is not a common choice.

Where is their favourite place to be? On the basketball court or anywhere with Leigh, I’m guessing.

How many close friends do they have? I know of at least two - JM and Blanch. He is friendly and has an extensive circle though, so I’m sure I’m missing several other close friends of his.

Number Two What colour are their eyes? Dark brown.

Have they known you the longest? Not at all. I’ve only known her for three years.

Where were they born? I’m guessing it would either be Manila or Makati.

Why are they your number 2? She just fell on the second slot. I was trying to randomize my friends’ names and hers just turned out to be the second one I thought of.

Do they like children? I don’t know how she feels about them exactly but one thing I know is that she doesn’t hate kids, and we’ve had numerous conversations on what we’d do in certain scenarios involving kids. 

Would they beat you in a race? I think so. But then again I did track at one point, so I’m walking onto that contest already with an advantage.

When did you last spend time alone together? Ugh c’mon man, this question is just sad. Jo had been hanging out at Skywalk less and less ever since most of the people in our friend group graduated last school year, so our last real hangout was probably that time we slept over at Laurice’s in June 2019. We never hung out a lot after that, and of course the lockdown just killed any chances we had of doing so.

Do they have a pet peeve? What is it? She has a lot of pet peeves but I can’t place any of them at the moment.

Number Three What is their hair colour? Black, as do most Filipinos.

What is their job, if they have one? Last I heard she got a gig with a major broadcasting network. I think she’s a segment producer? Segment researcher? Something of the sort.

Do they have their own place? I don’t think so; not just yet.

How many brothers or sisters do they have? I know she has a sister. I’ve forgotten if she has a brother.

Have you ever done something illegal with them? Yes hahaha illegal in university terms, at least. When we had free time and we saw that no one was using one of the classrooms in the college, our friend group snuck inside and played The Devil Wears Prada on the projector. As the only goody-two-shoes in the group I was super uneasy the whole time, but literally no faculty or staff checked in on us for the entire film. That was the moment I knew I was no longer in private school, where everyone watched you like a hawk lol.

How old were you when you met each other? I was 19, she was 21.

Are they more sporty, arty or academic? ARTSY. She’s one of the best artists I’ve ever seen and she can absolutely fucking slay any editorial cartoon.

Have you ever travelled out of country with this person? Nope. I would love to.

Person Four Do they have a favourite musician? St. Vincent’s been her fave for the longest time.

Have you drank alcohol with this person? Many times. When I drink she’s usually around.

Are their parents together? Yes.

What do you enjoy doing with them? EATING OUT!!! I also love going to new places and museum strolling with her, but yeah nothing works for me better than food with my favorite person.

When is their birthday? June 5th.

Do they have long or short hair? Long.

Have you been to a concert with this person? Yes, when we went to (illegally) see Coldplay from the top of a parking lot. Still felt like we were part of the concert grounds though.

If you asked them to describe you, what do you think they would say? Determined, hates to lose, and annoyingly generous.

Person Five Where did you two meet? I met Hannah on our enrollment day for our sophomore year in college. She and Macy had transferred from UPLB to UPD and since Macy and I were already friends from high school, she introduced me to Hannah. Then we became a lot closer when it turned out we were both applying for the same org.

How long ago did they phone you? We both hate phone calls and we’d hate to call/be called.

Do they have a certain sport they play? I don’t think she’s very athletic herself, but she loves watching UAAP games and she has a particular affinity for volleyball.

What about them annoys you sometimes? I never found her annoying. I did notice that her one weakness as a co-worker is her fear of being assertive, putting her foot down, being confident to come up with her own steps on how to come up with steps towards a situation, that kind of stuff. She often wanted someone who she felt like was more knowledgeable to be by her side and make all the decisions. But I did see her bloom a bit after a few months, so I’m proud of the progress.

Are they ruled by their head or their heart? Heart.

Are they male or female? Female.

In what ways are they the opposite of you? She’s religious and she loves to sing and perform.

How many rooms do they have in their house? No clue; I’ve never been to her house. I’ve never even been to her city.

Person Six Can they play an instrument? I think she knows *a bit* of guitar. But she’s not crazy gifted when it comes to musical instruments, I know that much.

Are they close with their mother? VERY. And she has no reason not to be - her mom is the nicest and most compassionate person I’ve ever met. Always treated me like family.

Do you know any of their siblings well? She’s an only child.

How many times have you visited their house? Countless, especially in high school and in our first few years in college.

When did you last go out to eat together? Feb. It was one of the food stalls at The Palace and we needed to eat away all the alcohol lol.

Do they own a bike? I haven’t seen one in her place so I’m assuming no. Her neighborhood is not very bike-friendly to begin with, so it’s understandable.

Do they have a sweet, sour or salty tooth? She has a...green tooth? Hahahaha she likes eating healthily.

What music genre do they listen to most? Pop, pop rock, indie, indie rock.

Person Seven Would you ever consider dating this person? Probably not. She’s SO stable and happy; I’m still working on it. I wouldn’t want to dump my shit on her vibrant and bubbly outlook on life.

Do they prefer cats or dogs? Dog, I think. I don’t know for sure though. 

Are they or do they plan to go to college? To study what? Yes, she’s in her senior year now. She’s also taking up journalism – it’s how we met.

If they did something illegal, what would it be? I highly doubt that would ever happen lmao, she’s super nice and such a goody-two-shoes. If she got caught doing something illegal it’s 100% only because she was with someone who did the thing.

Have you ever shared a sundae with this person? Maybe once or twice.

is their hair dyed or natural? It’s all black now, but at one point she dyed it light brown.

Is this person sarcastic? She can be, especially with people she’s close to.

Is this person more likely to party or sit in and read a book? SIT IN AND READ A BOOK. Literally the most accurate option.

Person Eight Have you ever lied to this person? I probably have. We’ve only ever talked on social media, where it’s a lot easier to tell a tiny lie and get away with it.

Do you know where this person was born? Somewhere in Davao I’m assuming.

Do you know their middle name and do they know yours? We know each others’ second names because have them put out on Facebook; but not our middle names.

Do they have any special talents? If she does, I don’t know about them. She’s amazing at writing though.

What is their starsign? Whatever star sign falls on the first half of December.

What is the first thing you notice about this person? Ever since the time she tweeted that she doesn’t like smiling with her teeth, her smile has always been the first thing I’m drawn to. 

Have you ever had a big row with this person? Never.

Do you like the same types of movies as this person? Not really. We met because she was friends with my friends who liked the same things she did, but when it comes to us we couldn’t really be any more different.

Random Stuff

Which of these friends would you say you are the closest to? Gabie, of course.

Can you remember all of their birthdays? I’ll give it a shot. June 22, December 31, December 5, June 5, January 16, September 15, May 23...and Aliyah’s is in early December, I’m certain.

Is there anything you regret saying to any of them? I guess only towards Gab, because I’m closest with her and we’ve been through the most together.

Which one of these has been there for you the most? Angela.

Which one have you known the longest and the shortest amount of time? I’ve been aware of Gabie the longest (18 years); been friends with Angela the longest (15 years); and been friends with Andrew the shortest (about a year and a half).

If you needed a laugh, you'd call... I wouldn’t call my friends if I needed help...but if I needed a laugh I’d turn to Anj or Andrew.

If you needed advice, you'd call... Mmm I’d pick among Andrew, Aya, Gabie, Angela, and Laurice.

Which one does your parents like the most? ANGELAAAAAAAA. She’s That friend that I can name-drop when I’m asking for permission to go out, and once my mom hears that she’s going to be with me she usually won’t hesitate to say yes haha.

Is there any of these your parents dislike? They don’t dislike any of them but I have a feeling they’ll disapprove of the fact that I made an online friend in Aliyah, especially my mom.

Do any of them share the same initials? Andrew and Aliyah do.

You can invite one with you for a once in a lifetime trip, which one? Angela.

Something you'd like to say to one of them: I miss you. That applies to everyone.

[thebombasticbooky]

Steven Universe Babble

I hate-watched Adventure Time. Hear me out. In the Comet season, it just got so caught up in its own hype, it lost track of what made it great to begin with. I felt like it wasn’t talking to me anymore. Finn became more and more of a jerk. It broke my heart, and even when it changed and got better, I didn’t forgive it. I stuck with it out of obligation, snarked at every episode and never noticed how my snark was getting fonder and fonder as the show found its way back. I didn’t realize I fell in love with it all over again until I was bawling at the final episodes. Adventure Time's finale rencontexualized the show for me. It made me realize I was being too harsh on it, that somewhere along the way it reclaimed a part of my heart. It was a magical feeling, like somehow even its biggest missteps were all part of the same journey. Its sum was bigger than its parts. And its legacy, on a personal level, felt secured. All it took was one amazing finale for the spark I had to be relit. I can’t say the same of Steven Universe. Adventure Time's problem was that it could get too heady for its own good, and SU's is the opposite. It thought, often to a fault, too much with its heart. It was a messy show. It seemed to, in the end, settle on the Diamonds as a kind of cycle of abuse thing, and it still doesn't quite work. The more you think about Steven Universe, the less it works. It wants to be both allegory and fairy tale- the Diamonds are a symbol of the system that represses and corrupts and destroys queer lives... but they can be redeemed and they're just traumatized, messy people too. It's both fantasy and true to life- look at all the wacky adventures Steven has! Isn't it fun? The world has 39 states and there's aliens and it's so out there! But also those wacky adventures gave Steven serious trauma that we'll now look through from a more our world lens, like why hasn't this kid seen a doctor and gotten therapy? It's a balance the show only briefly managed in its early days, and never as consistently as Adventure Time overall, and there's an interestingly fan fic-y feel to Steven Universe Future. It makes sense- Rebecca Sugar and her crew are a generation that grew up on fan fic, on concepts like the post series fic where fans look too deep into how all this cartoon adventures would really affect the protags, and it's fascinating in that way. Those fics are great thought experiments, great as reclamations of stories. The fate of the characters and what happens to them after becomes ours, and it can go a million different ways with new tones and styles without a thought to the original, like storytelling of old. I don’t know if that works as well for an official work. It didn’t quite for me. But I don’t know if SU could’ve ever ‘won’ with me. As I got older, Steven Universe's idealism didn't resonate with me as much. It felt too easy, it didn't feel real. I didn’t want to be told to understand and emphasize with the Andy DeMayos or the Diamonds of the world and kill them with love like that would change anything. We have proof that it very much does not! The fairy tale of the original show felt less empowering or hopeful and more condescending, on a personal level. It had queer rep galore... but it slowly felt like it didn’t want to show the angry or ugly or bitter side of us. It stopped feeling as relevant to me. So I should’ve loved Steven Universe Future, right? That gets ugly. That gets real. But the strange thing is, even as Steven Universe Future tried to reach me personally with its framing of trauma and a kid trying to find his place after a lifetime of it... I appreciated it more than I felt it. There wasn't quite the plot or character throughline and cohesion to get me to feel it, even though it was always shooting, undeniably, from the heart. The show was feeling so much, but I was feeling less and less. The heart needed a little more brain. Here’s the thing. Art can be messy. And that messiness means it does not connect with everyone the same way. Steven Universe as a franchise was messy, and in the end wasn’t my type of mess to leave me sobbing at the finale and always caring about its characters. Every goodbye just got a little aww from me. A little mental appreciation of ‘I should be feeling something here’. Where Adventure Time’s finale left me bawling, love for the show bursting stronger than ever before, both finales of SU left me dry eyed. That may be a failure of the show for me.

But there is a lot of people who that mess did reach, who felt as reflected or as wrecked by that show as I did with Adventure Time or Moonlight or We Know The Devil. There's people who needed Steven Universe's hope, and there's people who watched Future and felt seen. There's kids who grew up on both, with the franchise as a whole, and it'll be a true companion to them. And there's no discounting the monumental work it put into queer rep, the doors it broke down for other shows on the network and beyond. In a way, it doesn’t matter if in my heart I can’t pinpoint what SU means for me. Steven Universe stands for something just by being Steven Universe. There'll be people who will want to be the Steven they want to see in the world, and that's a great thing. I fell out of love with Steven Universe, and unlike Adventure Time I never quite fell back in love with it. But I'll never stop appreciating it, and even if it doesn't fully hold a place in my heart, it'll be a cornerstone for both western animation and many people's lives. And that's enough, both for it and for myself. I can have a satisfaction just in seeing that. Sometimes a finale doesn’t need to have made the whole show worth it. It doesn’t need to prove to you that you loved it, it doesn’t need to make you feel it in your soul what it is. It did for other people. Sometimes a thing can just end, and you can be happy for it and everyone else who loved it. Steven Universe ended. Here we are.