#we got back to the US and it was the only thing people were talking about

[ordinary-barbie]

scary dog privileges.

summary: Nobody's messing with you as long as Rafe Cameron is around.

pairing: rafe x sweet!pogue!reader

word count: 1.7k

tags: fem!reader, swearing, a guy acts like a creep towards reader, fingering, cunnilingus, p in v sex (protected), mutual orgasms

note: dipping my toes into obx fanfic after hyperfixating/crushing on Drew Starkey and reading a ton of Rafe stories, haha. I have not seen the show but I'm shooting my shot here anyway!

~~~~

They say that opposites attract, which couldn't be more accurate regarding your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

Rafe was the Kook king of Kildare Island, someone who oozed cockiness and arrogance. Meanwhile, you were a soft-spoken Pogue. When people spotted the two of you together, they couldn't wrap their heads around it, and frankly, neither could you. Rafe had his pick of any girl on the island - especially the Kooks - but somehow he only had eyes for you, which warmed your heart.

It all started last year, with a party at Tannyhill to celebrate your class graduating from high school. You were content to stay under your covers, binging Love Island Australia on Hulu, but your friend Olivia had begged you to come with her. Eventually, you relented, your curiosity about one of Rafe Cameron's famous parties getting the better of you.

Within five minutes, you'd ran into Rafe—literally. You'd been swaying to the music and accidentally bumped into him, spilling your drink all over his shirt. You'd been mortified, apologizing profusely and insisting on helping him clean up.

Rafe was a goner ever since.

Now it was time for another Tannyhill bash to celebrate the start of summer, and you were squarely by Rafe's side. In the year you'd been together, you'd discovered how protective your boyfriend was. He held onto you like an anchor, always having an arm wrapped around your waist or shoulders, no matter if he was talking to Topper and Kelce or kicking some rando's ass at beer pong. You appreciated it; parties often made you feel like a nervous baby deer, and it was nice to have someone to hold on to.

Unfortunately, you couldn't always be joined at the hip. "I'm gonna piss but I'll be right back, baby," Rafe promised, giving your ass a light squeeze on the way to the bathroom. As soon as your boyfriend was out of sight, your smile dropped. While you'd made an effort to get to know Rafe's friends, you were still incredibly nervous in a house full of Kooks.

To kill some time, you scrolled through Instagram, giggling at Olivia's latest story. She'd posted herself having a "friendly pizza sesh" with a guy, but you knew she'd had a huge crush on him since high school.

Suddenly, a shadow passed over you. "What's got you laughing like that, pretty girl?" You jumped, startled by the unfamiliar male voice.

A smirking guy with short, curly dark brown hair and glinting hazel eyes sauntered up to you. "Hey, I'm Aidan. I'm new in town—but maybe a cute thing like you could show me around?" he lazily drawled.

Your skin prickled with discomfort. You suddenly wanted to shrink into yourself, but you forced yourself to smile anyway. "Sorry, I'm not interested."

Aidan laughed, undeterred, and leaned into you. "Playing hard to get, huh? That's kinda hot," he whispered into your ear, making your stomach churn.

"I said no thanks," you responded, laughing nervously. You should run. You needed to get out of there. But for some reason, you found yourself rooted to the spot, trapped with Aidan and the pungent stench of his cologne.

Aidan pouted, using his arms to pin you against the wall. "C'mon babe, just give me a chance. I don't bite."

"How many times is she gonna tell you to fuck off before you get the point?" Relief flooded your chest at the sound of your boyfriend's voice.

Aidan rolled his eyes. "Why don't you fuck off, dude? We were having a moment."

Rafe glared at Aidan, his eyes blazing with rage, and grabbed the other boy by the collar of his Lacoste polo. "That's my girlfriend, you jackass. And you're gonna step the fuck away from her. Now."

You suddenly felt a zinging sensation in your core, turned on by Rafe's behavior. He was so sweet and silly and kind but could turn into a snarling dog in an instant — definitely not someone to fuck around with.

Rafe released Aidan's collar and the brunette gulped, suddenly trembling with fear.

"I - I'm sorry man. I had no idea," Aidan stammered. "I'll leave her alone."

Rafe wrapped a protective arm around your waist, scowling at Aidan. "Get the fuck out of my house."

Aidan meekly nodded, scurrying out of Tannyhill. The party filled with laughter, with people cheering Rafe on. But Rafe ignored the commotion, only focused on you.

"I'm so sorry baby. I should've been there to protect you from that—that asshat," Rafe apologetically said, tenderly stroking your cheek. You leaned into his touch, instantly comforted by the warmth radiating from his body.

"It's okay, Rafe," you assured him. "It's not like you could take me into the bathroom with you."

Rafe frowned, kissing the top of your head. "Maybe I should. Can't have these fuckin creeps tryna mess with my girl."

You laughed, shaking your head at your well-meaning boyfriend. "I adore you, but I'm not gonna stand there and watch you pee."

Rafe flashed you a lopsided grin. "Why not? We've done way worse things in there. That poor sink has seen some shit."

You playfully shoved Rafe's shoulder. "Rafe Alexander Cameron! I can't believe my knight in shining armor is so crass."

"Don't act like you don't love it, baby," he casually replied, kissing your neck. You let out a soft moan, tilting upward so Rafe could have more access.

The two of you were interrupted by the sound of Topper fake retching. "Begging y'all to please get a room," he pleaded. You couldn't help but snicker at Topper's dramatics.

Rafe lazily flipped off his friend before whisking you off to his bedroom and locking the door. "Get on the bed for me, pretty girl," Rafe said huskily, brushing his lips against your ear. Damn, that nickname sounded so much sexier from Rafe's lips than that douche from earlier. (Aaron? Andrew?)

You kicked off your sandals and laid down on top of Rafe's king-sized bed, pulling off your dress and underwear. Rafe quickly shed himself of his clothes and laid on top of you, kissing down every inch of your body.

"So I'm your knight in shining armor, huh? Well let me give my princess the treatment she deserves," Rafe drawled, relishing in the way your body reacted to his touch.

He plunged two fingers inside you, pumping them in and curling them right against your sweet spot. You gasped, loving the way he stretched you out. Rafe had been the only guy you'd ever slept with and at this point, you couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else; how could you, when you've only experienced the best?

You began to crave more than just his fingers, however. "Rafey," you whined, fully overcome with lust.

Rafe chuckled, lazily rubbing at your clit. "Use your words, princess. Tell me how to make you feel good."

You gulped, still feeling a little timid when it came to expressing your desires in the bedroom. "I need—I need your mouth, Rafey. Please."

Rafe knitted his eyebrows in mock confusion. "Where, baby? Your lips? Your cheek? Your forehead?"

"Rafe Cameron. Eat my pussy before I explode," you begged, your horniness taking over.

Rafe smirked, pulling his fingers out of you before slowly running his tongue across your folds. “Fuck, I love it when you talk dirty. Almost as much as I love this sweet little pussy. She's already so wet for me, holy shit."

You whimpered, arching your back in ecstasy as Rafe continued to pleasure you, kissing and sucking at your clit. You felt that familiar fire in your stomach, a sure sign that your climax was fast approaching.

"Oh, Rafe—'m gonna cum," you moaned, your legs shaking. Rafe sped up his movements, rubbing your clit with his thumb and index finger while pumping his tongue in and out of your hole. Eventually the dam burst and you felt your orgasm wash over you as your legs clamped down on either side of Rafe's head.

You took a minute to come down from your high, admiring the sight of your boyfriend with mussed-up hair and your glistening slick decorating his face. Even while looking totally disheveled, Rafe was a work of art.

Rafe wiped his face with the back of his hand, savoring the rest of your juices on his fingers. "Always my favorite meal baby," he purred. "But now I need to be inside you. Turn around for me, princess."

You shifted your position on the bed so you were lying on your stomach while Rafe rummaged in his bedside drawer for a condom. You heard him unwrapping the foil packet and rolling the condom on before feeling the head of Rafe's cock teasing your hole. You let out a breathy moan, loving and loathing the teasing simultaneously.

Rafe held on to your hips as he pushed into you, thrusting in and out at a steady pace. "Can't get enough of this pussy," he grunted. "So warm and tight f'me."

The din of the party going on downstairs faded away, and you could only focus on the sounds of sex occurring in the room: the duet of moans between Rafe and you, the creak of the bed, the sound of skin slapping against skin. A year ago, you couldn't imagine coming out of your shell like this. But now? Well—

"Gonna cum again, Rafey," you breathily blurted out, feeling your pussy clench down on Rafe's cock.

"Fuck yeah, princess, just come all over my cock," Rafe groaned.

Almost as if on cue, you felt your climax wash over you, and Rafe helped you ride out your orgasm before spilling his load into the condom. You had a fleeting thought about Rafe shooting his cum inside you instead, but you weren't quite ready for that yet.

You and Rafe took a minute to catch your breaths before he took off the condom and tied it up, tossing it into the wastebasket next to his bed. He rolled over on his side, enveloping you in his arms and burying his head in the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent.

"Baby, you're incredible," Rafe murmured, kissing your shoulder.

You smiled, feeling light and airy inside. "Rafe, you're incredible. Thanks for being my scary dog earlier."

"I'm sorry, 'scary dog?'" Rafe repeated with a laugh.

"Scary dog privilege. It's something I saw on TikTok," you explained. "Basically it means that if you're with an intimidating-looking person, people will leave you alone because they don't want to mess with a scary dog. And seeing you be protective like that? It was pretty hot."

Rafe fondly gazed at you, stroking your hip. "Well shit, I'll be your scary dog anytime then, baby."

[aspenmissing]

ᴀʀᴄᴀɴᴇ: ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ?

ᴊᴀʏᴄᴇ | ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ | ᴊᴀʏᴠɪᴋ | ᴠᴀɴᴅᴇʀ | ꜱɪʟᴄᴏ | ᴊɪɴx || ꜰʟᴜꜰꜰ/ᴀɴɢꜱᴛ-ɪꜱʜ

6159 ᴡᴏʀᴅꜱ || ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ᴛᴀʟᴋꜱ ᴏꜰ ɪɴꜰᴇʀᴛɪʟɪᴛʏ (ᴊᴀʏᴠɪᴋ'ꜱ ᴘᴀʀᴛ)

ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ᴍᴏᴍᴇɴᴛꜱ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴅᴇᴀ ᴏꜰ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴄʜɪʟᴅʀᴇɴ, ᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴛʜᴏᴜɢʜᴛ ᴏꜰ ʜᴀᴠɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ᴋɪᴅ ᴄᴏᴍᴇꜱ ᴜᴘ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴏᴛʜ ꜱɪᴅᴇꜱ ʀᴇᴀᴄᴛ?

ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ | ᴊᴀʏᴄᴇ | ᴠɪᴋᴛᴏʀ | ᴠᴀɴᴅᴇʀ | ꜱɪʟᴄᴏ | ᴘᴏᴡᴅᴇʀ/ᴊɪɴx

JAYCE

You and Jayce stood outside the bright, cheerful building of the preschool, staring up at the colorful sign that read "Bright Beginnings Academy." Jayce's hands rested casually on his hips, the usual confident smile on his face as he looked down at you. His enthusiasm was infectious, and you couldn’t help but feel a little excited as well.

"I still can't believe they asked us to do this," Jayce said, adjusting his jacket. "It's not every day we get invited to talk to a group of young minds about science and technology."

You laughed lightly. "I think it's a great opportunity to inspire them. If even one of these kids decides to pursue something in science because of what we say, that would be amazing."

Jayce nodded, beaming. "Exactly! And I’ll make sure to give them a talk they'll never forget. You know, I can be pretty persuasive."

You raised an eyebrow. "Just... remember, not every five-year-old is going to understand particle acceleration. Keep it simple for them, okay?"

Jayce waved a hand dismissively. "Don’t worry, I’ve got this. I'll make it sound fun."

You both entered the preschool and were greeted by the head teacher, Ms. Graves, who led you to the first classroom. The kids were sitting at small tables, eyes wide with curiosity, some fidgeting with toys and others whispering to each other.

"Everyone, this is Jayce and Y/N," Ms. Graves announced cheerfully. "They’ve come to tell us all about their exciting work!"

Jayce stepped forward, his tall frame making him stand out among the tiny chairs. He cleared his throat, a grin spreading across his face. "Hey there, little scientists! I’m Jayce, and I build incredible machines that can help solve problems! I work with energy and technology to create inventions that can change the world. I bet some of you have seen big machines like robots, right?" He smiled, trying to gauge their understanding.

A few hands shot up eagerly. "I saw a robot on TV!" one of the kids exclaimed.

"That's right! And those robots use technology I help create!" Jayce said, puffing out his chest slightly.

The kids seemed intrigued, but the more Jayce spoke, the more confused their faces became as he dove deeper into the technical aspects of his work. He mentioned “energy fields” and “complex algorithms,” which only seemed to go over their heads.

You smiled softly to yourself, watching him confidently speak. It was clear he was passionate about his work, but you could see where things might be getting a bit... complicated for the children. You moved toward him and placed a hand on his shoulder, giving him a knowing look.

"Maybe we should take a step back and make it a bit more fun for them," you suggested gently, giving him a playful nudge.

Jayce blinked, realizing his overcomplicated explanation. "Ah, right. I got carried away."

You took a step forward, crouching down to the kids' level. "Hey there, everyone!" you said warmly. "I’m Y/N, and I love science too! Jayce builds things that help people, but sometimes, instead of using big words, we can show you how things work with fun activities!"

You looked to the teacher, who smiled and nodded in agreement. "Let’s make a simple machine today. We can build something cool together!"

The kids cheered, their excitement palpable. You led them to the activity table where materials like cardboard, straws, rubber bands, and small gears were set out. You guided them through creating simple contraptions—a basic pulley system, a little lever, and even a tiny rolling machine.

Jayce watched you in awe, his arms crossed over his chest as he observed how effortlessly you connected with the kids. You patiently helped each child, showing them how to build and encouraging their creativity. Some kids had trouble with the mechanics, and you were there with a smile, explaining everything in the simplest ways.

The more you interacted with the kids, the more they clung to you. One child tugged at your sleeve, asking to show you their creation. Another crawled into your lap, looking up at you with wide, adoring eyes. You laughed, gently brushing a few strands of hair from your face.

"Look, Jayce," you whispered, nodding to the group gathered around you. "They really love you too, but I think they might love me just a bit more right now."

Jayce chuckled, a bit of a pout on his lips. "I’m supposed to be the cool inventor, but I guess you’ve got the magic touch."

You leaned in, teasing. "What can I say? I’m a natural with kids. They like when things are fun and hands-on."

Jayce's gaze softened as he watched you, a proud smile spreading across his face. "You’re amazing," he said, more to himself than to you. "You make it look so easy."

The children continued to surround you, proudly showing off their creations. One little girl climbed onto your lap, a big smile on her face as she presented her simple yet clever machine.

"Look, I made a lever that helps me open my toy box!" she exclaimed, her eyes sparkling with excitement.

You beamed, helping her adjust the lever. "That's fantastic! You’ve just made something that could help you every day. I think you’re a real inventor in the making."

The classroom was alive with chatter, and Jayce had long since stepped back to give you the spotlight. He couldn’t help but admire how you connected with the kids, how naturally you made learning fun for them. He realized, with a soft chuckle, that maybe you were the true teacher here today.

As the activity came to a close, the kids surrounded you, each one wanting to show you their project or give you a high-five. Jayce joined in, still amazed by how well you were able to inspire the next generation.

"You know," he said, as you walked hand-in-hand with him out of the classroom, a playful glint in his eye, "maybe next time, we should let you do the talking."

You smiled, squeezing his hand. "Maybe we should. But you were still awesome, Jayce. I just think you need to simplify your genius a little."

Jayce laughed softly, his heart warmed by how easily you embraced everything that came with working with children. "I think I could learn a thing or two from you. You’re a natural."

You grinned. "I just know how to make science fun."

VIKTOR

The room was dimly lit, a soft glow from the warm fire casting flickering shadows on the walls. You sat beside Viktor in his workshop, the steady hum of machinery and the quiet crackle of the fire filling the space. You’d been talking for hours, about everything and nothing, when the conversation shifted to something you’d always carried in your heart.

"I’ve always wanted to have children," you said softly, tracing the rim of your teacup absentmindedly. "Even when I was young, I used to imagine what it would be like to be a mother, to have a little one running around, learning new things, growing up. It just always felt right to me."

Viktor’s expression faltered for a moment, his brow furrowing as he lowered his gaze. The silence stretched between you, and you could feel the weight of his thoughts, the subtle tension in the air. It wasn’t like Viktor to be so quiet, and it made your heart tighten with concern.

"You... want children?" Viktor’s voice was softer than usual, almost as if he was testing the words, as if they were foreign to him.

You nodded, turning toward him with a small smile. "I’ve always dreamed of it, yes. I think it’s one of the most fulfilling things someone can experience."

Viktor shifted slightly in his seat, a look of deep thought on his face. "I..." He hesitated, his fingers tapping lightly on the arm of his chair as if searching for the right words. "I don’t think that’s something I can give you."

You blinked, a frown forming at the edges of your lips. "What do you mean?"

Viktor’s eyes met yours, and there was a heaviness in them, a burden he had carried for so long, one you knew he didn’t speak of often. "I have my illness," he said quietly, his voice tight. "And my... condition. I don’t want to pass on any of what I have to a child."

You felt a pang in your chest, the deep sadness in his words cutting through you. He was already thinking about his own deformity, his illness—how it affected his body, his life. Viktor never talked about it openly, always focusing on his work, but you knew that it was always there, lingering in his mind. He feared it, feared what it would mean for the future.

"But Viktor," you whispered, reaching out to take his hand, "you are more than your illness. You are strong, brilliant, and beautiful in so many ways. If we were to have children... they wouldn’t just inherit the things that make you feel broken. They’d inherit everything that makes you who you are."

Viktor’s eyes flickered to your hand, his gaze softening for a brief moment, but the weight of his thoughts remained. "I can’t bear the thought of passing on my suffering to anyone, especially a child. I wouldn’t want them to go through the things I’ve been through... the pain, the limitations." His voice broke slightly, though he tried to steady it. "I wouldn’t want them to have to carry the burden of what I’ve become."

Your heart ached for him, knowing how deeply he cared about you and how much it hurt him to feel that he could not offer you the life you had dreamed of. You gently squeezed his hand, offering him a tender smile, one filled with understanding and love.

"I understand, Viktor," you said softly. "I understand more than you know. I’m not asking for something you can’t give right now, and I wouldn’t want to put that kind of pressure on you. I respect your decision, and I support you completely. If it’s not the right time for you, then I’ll wait. I’ll wait as long as you need me to."

Viktor’s eyes searched yours, his lips trembling slightly, a mixture of gratitude and sorrow reflected in them. "You... you would wait for me?"

"Of course," you replied without hesitation. "I love you, Viktor. And whether we have children or not, my love for you won’t change. We’ll have the future that’s right for us, together."

A long silence fell between you, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was a peaceful kind of silence, the kind that spoke volumes without the need for words. Viktor’s grip on your hand tightened, his thumb gently brushing over your knuckles as if he needed that touch to steady himself, to remind himself that you were there, beside him.

"You’ve always been so patient with me," he murmured, his voice filled with a tenderness you rarely heard. "I don’t deserve your patience."

You shook your head, a small, affectionate smile playing at your lips. "You don’t have to deserve it, Viktor. It’s not about that. It’s about us, about being together, and supporting each other. We’ll figure this out, one step at a time. And when you’re ready, I’ll be here."

Viktor’s gaze softened, his eyes reflecting the gratitude he struggled to express. He leaned in slowly, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, a silent promise passing between you. "Thank you," he whispered, his voice barely above a breath. "For everything."

And in that moment, you knew, without a doubt, that whatever the future held, you and Viktor would face it together—patiently, lovingly, and with the same unwavering commitment that had always defined your relationship.

JAYVIK

The soft crackle of the fireplace filled the room, the warm glow casting gentle shadows on the walls of the living room. You, Viktor, and Jayce had just finished a long day of work, and now, you were all unwinding in your cozy space. You and Viktor were seated on the couch, a few scattered papers and empty mugs left on the coffee table, while Jayce leaned back in his armchair, kicking his boots up with a sigh of relief.

For a while, there was nothing but the steady rhythm of breathing and the occasional rustling of papers as Viktor worked on a few ideas for his next project. Jayce, on the other hand, seemed content to simply unwind, the silence comfortable in a way only the three of you could share.

It was a casual evening—no talk of politics, no discussions of breakthroughs or setbacks. But then, as Jayce stretched his arms above his head, breaking the silence, he casually dropped a thought that had been on his mind for a while.

"You know," Jayce said, half to himself, "I was just thinking about how we could have a little one running around here one day. Maybe it would be nice to have someone to pass all of this on to, someone who would grow up with us."

Viktor’s brow furrowed, his fingers tapping absently on the edge of his chair. He didn’t immediately respond, though his gaze drifted to you as if testing the waters.

"You’re right," Viktor added quietly after a moment, his tone soft but pensive. "Maybe one day, we should. We’ve spent so much of our lives focused on work, but I suppose we should think about a future beyond just our creations."

You looked up at the two of them, surprised to hear this so directly. They’d mentioned the idea in passing before, but now it felt more tangible, more real. Still, you said nothing at first, unsure of how to react. Jayce, always eager to entertain new possibilities, kept talking.

"I wonder what it would be like," he mused. "What kind of parents we'd be. It’s crazy to think about it, but I think I’d want to give it a shot. But you know, it’s a lot of work, a lot of responsibility." He laughed softly. "Not sure if we’d be the perfect role models, huh?"

You gave him a half-smile, trying to keep the conversation light. But inside, a knot of tension began to form in your stomach. You could hear the underlying question in their words—the curiosity, the openness, and perhaps even a bit of uncertainty. They wanted your opinion, wanted to know if this was something you were considering, too.

But as you sat there in the living room with them, you knew this conversation had to come to a head. The secret you had been keeping from them—the truth you hadn’t been able to share yet—was slowly eating at you.

Taking a deep breath, you set your mug down on the table with a soft clink, your hands shaking slightly as you prepared to speak.

"I—" you started, your voice trembling a bit. "I need to tell you something."

Jayce and Viktor both turned their attention to you, sensing the change in the air. They sat up a little, waiting for you to continue.

"I’ve never told you this before," you began, trying to steady your breathing. "But... I can’t have children."

The words hung in the air between you like a weight, a truth you’d kept locked away for so long. You could feel the sting of shame welling up in your chest as you tried to continue.

"It’s... it’s because of infertility," you murmured, your eyes cast downward, unable to meet their gazes. "And I’ve never told either of you. I guess... I didn’t want to disappoint you. Or make you feel like... like I wasn’t enough. I’ve been so afraid that if you knew, you’d..."

You trailed off, the rush of emotions threatening to overwhelm you. You hadn’t meant for this to happen. You hadn’t meant to break down like this, but the truth was heavy, and the shame was worse than you’d imagined.

For a long moment, there was nothing but silence. The weight of your confession hung over you, suffocating. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at them, too afraid of how they might react. You had kept this secret for so long, hoping it would never come up, but now the truth was out there.

Then, to your surprise, you felt Viktor’s hand on your shoulder, gentle but firm, as if to reassure you that he was there. His voice, when it came, was softer than you had ever heard it.

"Y/N," he said quietly, his tone filled with understanding. "You don’t need to feel ashamed. We’re not angry with you, not at all."

Jayce, too, leaned forward, his gaze filled with concern but also affection. "We’re a team, Y/N," he said, his voice earnest. "There’s nothing you could say that would change that. We love you, and that doesn’t change because of something like this."

You finally lifted your gaze to them, tears threatening at the corners of your eyes. "But I—" you began, but Viktor shook his head gently.

"Listen to us," he said softly. "This doesn’t change anything. We’re still the same. And if you want children, we’ll find a way. Together."

Jayce nodded in agreement. "There are options, you know. Adoption. Surrogacy? We’ll figure it out, Y/N. No matter what."

Your heart swelled at their words, the weight in your chest beginning to lift, even if just a little. You weren’t alone in this. They understood, they cared, and they weren’t angry.

"I don’t deserve you both," you whispered, your voice breaking slightly.

Viktor leaned closer, his hand gently cupping your cheek, his eyes warm with sincerity. "You deserve all of us, Y/N. We’re in this together. There’s no need for shame. We’ll take each step together, and when the time is right, we’ll decide what’s next."

Jayce reached over, placing a reassuring hand on your knee, his expression softened with a rare, tender understanding. "We’re here for you, always. And we’ll figure this out, whatever path we need to take."

The comfort in their words, the warmth in their touch, soothed you more than you could have expected. Maybe the road ahead wouldn’t be easy, but you knew you wouldn’t walk it alone.

Together, the three of you would find a way forward.

VANDER

It was a quiet evening at the Vander household. The children had long since been put to bed, and the house was filled with the soft sounds of the night—crickets chirping in the distance, the occasional rustling of leaves in the breeze. You and Vander were seated by the fireplace, the warm glow from the flames casting gentle shadows across the room.

You had just finished tidying up after a long day of running around with the kids—Powder, Vi, Mylo, and Claggor. They were all sweet, each of them with their own personalities, their own quirks, and you loved every moment spent with them. But tonight, as you sat beside Vander, there was a different energy between you two. A quiet, lingering thought that had been on Vander’s mind for some time now.

Vander watched you from his seat, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he observed you. You were always so gentle, so patient with the kids. He had seen you day in and day out, playing with them, teaching them, loving them. It was clear how much you cared for them, and that made his heart swell with warmth. But tonight, something else flickered behind his eyes. Something he had been holding back for a while.

"You know," Vander began, his voice low and thoughtful, "you’ve been incredible with the kids."

You smiled at him, a soft, fond expression on your face. "I love them like they’re my own."

Vander’s gaze softened. "I can see that. They adore you. And it’s not just the way you take care of them—it’s the way you make them feel safe, the way you guide them. They need you, Y/N."

You shrugged, trying to hide the warmth in your chest. "They make it easy. They’re amazing kids."

Vander’s smile grew slightly, but there was something more in his eyes, a hint of something deeper. "You’ve been so good to them. I can't help but think…" He paused, as if carefully considering his words. "I wonder what it would be like to have another."

Your heart skipped a beat, unsure if you heard him correctly. "Another?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded slowly, his gaze turning toward the fire. "Yeah. You’re so good with them... I can’t help but imagine what it would be like, to have one of our own." His voice was quiet, almost a reflection of a thought he hadn’t fully voiced until now.

You stared at him, your mind racing. You loved the kids you already had but the idea of having one with Vander, of building your own family even further, was an exciting thought. You had always felt that spark of hope deep down, but you never dared to mention it, not wanting to push for something Vander might not feel the same about. But now, hearing him say it out loud, your heart fluttered with possibility.

"I..." You didn’t quite know what to say at first, the warmth in your chest expanding at the thought of another child. "I’ve thought about it, too. What it would be like to have one together."

Vander’s eyes found yours again, soft and full of tenderness. "I can’t help but wonder if we could handle another one. But then again..." He chuckled quietly, rubbing his hand over his chin. "We seem to manage just fine with the four of them."

You couldn’t help but laugh along with him. "They do keep us on our toes, don’t they?"

Vander grinned. "Yeah, but that’s what makes it worth it. Watching them grow, helping them become who they’re meant to be. And... I see the way you look after them. It’s something special."

You shifted closer to him, resting your head on his shoulder. "I love them, all of them. I love being their guardian, their guide." You sighed contently, your eyes falling closed as you breathed in the warmth of the room and the safety of his embrace. "I think another child could fit right in, don’t you?"

Vander’s hand found yours, gently intertwining your fingers. "Maybe it could. Maybe it’s time to see if we’re ready for that next step."

You turned your face up to look at him, your heart racing slightly as you met his gaze. The flickering light from the fire reflected in his eyes, giving them a depth of emotion that made your pulse quicken.

"You think we’re ready?" you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

Vander’s grin grew as he leaned in slightly closer, his breath warm against your ear. "I think it’s something we should try."

You felt a shiver run down your spine at the tone in his voice, the weight of his words settling in. It was as if he was speaking not just about the idea of another child, but about everything that came with it—commitment, trust, love. His lips brushed against your ear as he continued, his voice low and smooth.

"I can’t think of a better person to have a child with than you, darling," he murmured. "So... what do you say? Are you ready to try?"

The air between you two seemed to crackle with tension, an unspoken promise, a shared understanding. You leaned into him, your heart thudding in your chest as you whispered back, "I’m ready."

With that, Vander’s lips found yours, gentle yet full of promise, as if sealing the decision, sealing the future. The kiss deepened, the warmth between you both growing stronger as you both knew, in that moment, that your love was only going to grow even further.

And as the fire crackled softly in the background, you both knew one thing for certain: a new chapter was beginning for you both. Together.

SILCO

It was late in the evening when Silco found himself watching you from across the room. You were sitting with Powder, laughing softly as the young girl showed you her latest creation—a makeshift toy made from scrap materials she’d found in the undercity. Powder’s face lit up with pride, and you, with your usual warmth, encouraged her with genuine admiration. Silco watched the scene unfold quietly from his seat, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in the way you interacted with Powder. It was a bond he’d seen growing stronger with each passing day, and though he didn’t show it, it stirred something deep within him.

You had always been like a guiding force for Powder. She trusted you, adored you, and looked up to you in a way that only a daughter could. Silco had his own complicated feelings about it all—he'd never been one for sentimentality or nurturing, especially when it came to children. The thought of raising a child, having someone so vulnerable tied to him… it made his stomach turn.

He shifted in his chair, then stood and approached you, his gaze flickering between you and Powder for a moment before he spoke.

“Y/N,” Silco began, his voice steady but laced with an underlying seriousness, “there’s something I need to discuss with you.”

You turned your attention to him, a soft smile on your lips as you glanced from him to Powder. “What’s on your mind, Silco?”

He hesitated for a moment, then spoke again, his voice just a touch more guarded. “I’ve been thinking. About… children.”

You frowned, sensing the shift in the atmosphere. The seriousness in Silco’s tone made you wary, and you instinctively looked over at Powder. Her wide eyes were bouncing between you both, sensing the tension that was beginning to settle over the room.

“You should go get ready for bed, Powder,” you said softly, offering her a reassuring smile. “I’ll be with you in a minute, alright?”

Powder hesitated for a moment, her eyes flickering between you and Silco, before she nodded slowly. “Okay, Y/N,” she muttered, and with a last glance, she shuffled off toward her room, her footsteps growing quieter as she left the room.

Once the door clicked shut behind her, the air in the room felt heavier, and you turned back to Silco, your gaze now fixed on him with an unspoken understanding that the conversation had just shifted into something more serious.

Silco’s eyes never left you as he continued, his expression unreadable. “I’ve seen the way you care for Powder. The way you’ve taken her under your wing. And it’s…” He paused, almost unwilling to continue. “It’s admirable, the bond you share with her. But I want you to know this, Y/N…” He took a slow step closer, the intensity of his gaze unwavering. “I don’t want children. The thought of having a child, someone so vulnerable, tied to me… it’s a weakness. A risk. They could be used against me one day. I won’t allow that.””

You could feel the tension in the room rise as he spoke. You could see the vulnerability behind his eyes, the fear of losing control, and perhaps, in some twisted way, the self-awareness that having a child might be more than he could handle. And yet, it didn’t come as a surprise. Silco’s life had always been about control, power, and survival. The last thing he needed was someone to hold over him, to manipulate his emotions.

You took a deep breath, moving from your position on the floor to sit beside Silco, resting your hand gently on his leg. "You're not the only one who doesn't want children, Silco," you said softly.

His eyebrows raised in surprise. "What do you mean?"

You offered him a reassuring smile, your voice steady. "I’ve never really had the desire to have children of my own. Powder is the only daughter I need. She’s enough for me."

Silco’s eyes softened ever so slightly, the corner of his mouth twitching as if to form a smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. "I suppose we both have our reasons."

You nodded, the weight of the conversation settling around you. "And those reasons are enough for me. Powder has always been the light in my life, and I’m happy with the family we’ve built. With you, with her, with everything we’ve worked for."

Silco regarded you for a long moment, his usual hard demeanour softening in the quiet of the room. He reached out, placing his hand gently over yours with a rare tenderness that made your heart skip.

"I respect that, love," he said quietly, his voice carrying more warmth than usual. "I can see how much she means to you. And how much you mean to her." His gaze flickered toward the door where Powder had gone off to bed, before returning to you. "I'm glad you're here. With me. With us."

Your smile deepened, warmth spreading through you despite the gravity of the conversation. "I’m glad, too, Silco."

The room fell into a long silence, but it was comforting, not uncomfortable. Both of you took in the truth of what had been said—no more, no less. The bond you shared, the family you had built, was more than enough. You didn’t need anything else.

"Good," Silco muttered after a pause, his usual commanding tone returning. "Then that’s settled."

You nodded, meeting his eyes with quiet conviction. "Yeah. It is."

And with that, the topic was closed—no resentment, no regret, just a mutual understanding between the two of you. You didn’t need a child to complete your family. You already had everything you needed in each other.

JINX/POWDER (PLATONIC!)

It was a quiet afternoon in the streets of Zaun, the sun casting an amber glow over the city as you wandered through the busy market, enjoying the calm between your usual chaotic routine. You had been picking up a few supplies, humming softly to yourself, when you noticed a small, frightened child standing near a stack of crates, eyes wide and scanning the crowd.

Instinctively, you approached the child, a gentle smile spreading across your face. “Hey there, you look lost,” you said, crouching down to their level. The child nodded, eyes brimming with tears, and you could see the desperation in their gaze.

“Don’t worry,” you reassured them softly, your voice warm. “Let’s find your parents, okay?”

The child clung to you as you took their hand, and as you made your way through the crowds, they became more and more comfortable in your presence, their grip on you loosening but still steady. The child’s fears slowly ebbed away, soothed by your steady presence. Eventually, you found the child’s parents near the merchant stalls, frantically scanning the crowd.

A tall woman with wild, auburn hair was the first to notice you approaching. Her expression softened with relief as you caught her gaze.

“Are you looking for someone?” you asked, glancing down at the child who had begun to tug at your shirt.

“Yes! My son!” The woman rushed toward you, and the child’s face lit up. Without another word, the child hopped off your hip and ran to their mother, clinging to her side.

“Oh thank you, thank you!” the woman said, tears welling up in her eyes as she held her child tight. “I don’t know what I would have done without you.”

The man beside her, who had been nervously pacing, stepped forward. His deep voice was shaky as he added, “We’ve been looking everywhere. We thought we lost him for good.” He turned to you with a grateful smile. “You’ve done more than we could have asked for.”

“You’re welcome,” you replied with a smile, your heart warming at the reunion. You nodded at them both. “Just happy to help.”

The woman reached out to pull you into a brief, heartfelt hug. “Thank you again. We’re in your debt.”

You returned the hug lightly, your thoughts drifting as you watched the mother and father take their child’s hand, walking together with him in tow. They waved as they walked away, and you waved back before turning to leave the scene.

It was in that moment that you heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps behind you, followed by an all-too-familiar voice, sharp and full of an edge you recognized.

“What’s this?” Jinx’s voice echoed from behind, full of suspicion. “You just making friends with every little rat in the city now?”

You turned around to see her standing there, arms crossed, a scowl on her face as her eyes fixed not on you, but on the small child who had been clinging to you moments before.

Jinx’s gaze was icy, her brow furrowed as she narrowed her eyes at the child as they walk away with their parents. She took a slow step forward, the usual manic energy in her movements tempered by something else — jealousy. And that was a rare sight.

“Why’s was that kid clinging onto you like you’re his new mom?” Jinx sneered, her voice dripping with possessiveness, the insecurity in her words biting deeper than she likely intended. She shifted uncomfortably, hands fidgeting with the straps of her weapon as her gaze shists to you. Her foot tapped impatiently against the ground, and you could see her cheeks flush with frustration.

You raised an eyebrow, sensing the tension in the air, but also the deeper discomfort simmering beneath her words. “I was just helping them find their parents, Jinx. Nothing more to it.”

"Right," she muttered under her breath, her jealousy almost palpable now. “I see how it is. Just another kid looking for a mother figure while I... get left behind. Not enough room for me, huh?”

Her words hit harder than you expected, and for a split second, you felt a pang of regret for the situation, as if somehow you had betrayed her by offering your care to someone else. But then, you remembered who you were to Jinx — and who she was to you.

You took a deep breath, your eyes flickering to Jinx, who had taken a few steps closer, her posture tense and guarded, like she was expecting a confrontation.

“Jinx…” you began, your voice soft but with the weight of sincerity. “You know I care about you. That kid… they needed someone, and I just helped. It doesn’t change anything between us.”

Jinx’s expression faltered for a moment, and she looked away, biting her lip as she avoided meeting your gaze. There was a long pause before she muttered, her voice barely audible, “I know... It’s just, I... I don’t like seeing anyone else taking your attention. It’s like... you’re spreading yourself thin, and I’m afraid there won’t be enough of you for me.”

You took a step closer, your heart aching as you read the vulnerability in her words. Gently, you cupped her cheek, guiding her face to meet yours. “You’re my priority, Jinx. Always.”

Her eyes softened, a flicker of gratitude passing through the storm of emotions that she usually kept hidden. She let out a soft sigh, her usual wildness dimming as she allowed herself to relax for just a moment.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, her hands falling loosely at her sides, her expression more like the girl you knew — Powder. The one who wanted to be tough, but deep down just wanted to be cared for.

You smiled warmly at her, your thumb brushing her cheek tenderly. “Don’t be. You never have to apologize for needing me. And you’ll always have my attention when you need it.”

A small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corners of her lips as she finally let her guard down a bit more. The jealousy, while still lingering beneath the surface, was no longer as intense. She knew, deep down, that your bond was something that couldn’t be easily replaced or shared with anyone else.

Jinx huffed softly, a touch of her usual playful spark returning as she bumped her shoulder against yours. “Yeah, well, you better not go getting attached to every little lost kid running around.”

You chuckled, leaning into her shoulder for a brief moment. “I’ll try to keep my ‘motherly instincts’ in check for you, alright?”

“Good,” she said, her tone a mix of relief and mischief. “But if you’re gonna start collecting kids, at least pick the cool ones, yeah?”

You laughed softly, rolling your eyes but feeling lighter. “I’ll keep that in mind, Jinx.”

And as you both walked away from the market, side by side, you knew this was just another layer of your relationship with Jinx — an unspoken understanding that no matter the jealousy or misunderstandings, you would always be there for each other, no matter what.

[clrasecretdiary]

You're just a little bit too much like me | Spencer Reid x Reader

Enemies to lovers | angsty fluff

Word count: 1755

Warnings: Normal criminal minds type of violence, mention of guns and gunshots, age gap (Reader is about 25, and Spencer is in his late 30s)

Content: Spencer being an asshole because he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and how you remind him of his older self, past Spencer trauma (implied but not directly mentioned), self-doubt, Post prison! Spence

It was a difficult situation, only your second week on the job and the first time you had to make that kind of decision. You went alone to a location where the suspect might have been at, all of your teammates were further away so, as reckless as you now recognize it was, you went there alone, instead of waiting like Spencer and Emily asked you too. You didn't want to lose your chance, there were more than 3 days on the field at stake here, you did not want to disappoint your colleagues and just stand there waiting like a dumb newbie, so you made the decision.

“I'm going in” You warn your teammates in the radio, not waiting for a response before storming into the unsubs house.

You bust the door open with your feet, storming into the house. As you look inside, you find the unsub taking his gun from a drawer. Thinking you had an advantage as his back was facing you, you rush to try and immobilize him, but somehow he managed to turn around and shoot you.

You growled in pain as your body dropped to the ground, just before you passed out completely you heard the sound of rushed footsteps. You heard two voices, one you recognized as Emily's going after the unsub, and the other as Reid's talking to you.

“Please don’t go to sleep, we need you awake” His voice was soothing, far different from the tone he always used with you ever since you joined the team this year, but he sounded so worried, and you really did try to stay awake for him, for your team, to show that you were okay and that they needed to go after what's important, the unsub, but you couldn't. The last thing you heard as your vision got black was him yelling at his radio, “Medical, we need medical right now”. And then, everything went black.

You are now back at your first day on the job. Still at your house, confused as to what outfit you should use, so anxious about being so young at the top team of profilers, even thought it was a last year internship you hoped to impress them enough that they would hire you officially for the team, so your anxiety was through the roof wondering whether you really deserved to be there (goddamn that impostor syndrome). But most of your worries went away when you met the team, you would never imagine that the best profilers in the FBI and maybe in the world would be such good, kind and even funny people. They all welcomed you, seeming excited to be able to work with you, except from one of them.

Doctor Spencer Reid, you had read about him and his genius mind, you even went to a couple of his lectures on forensic psychology, honestly? You were a fan, and you were so excited to meet and work with someone you looked up to. Unfortunately, he didn't seem as eager to meet his new coworker. He just stood there in the back, staring at you while you introduced yourself to the team, the most he did was mutter a “morning” when you sat next to him in the briefing room.

Never meet your heroes, they say.

Now, you're back at… Where are you again?

Your eyes begin to open, you're completely adrift until you finally begin to recognize the awful white light, and the coldness of the room. You're at the hospital, no idea as to how much time has passed.

Jennifer comes into your line of vision, holding your hand, “Hey, how are you feeling?” her voice is calm, as she watches you sit up in the hospital bed.

“I'm fine, I think... I didn't even realize what happened back then. Oh shit, did you guys catch him?” You abruptly try to sit up, remembering how you couldn't get the unsub when you got shot, guilt washing over you as you started to piece together what happened

“Hey slow down, Emily went after him and made the arrest, the victim was rescued. He shot you, but it just grazed you. You did lose a lot of blood, that's why you passed out, but the doctors say you'll be fine to leave today. Don't worry.” She says as the doctor comes in to do his final checking.

You just agree with your head, lost in your own thoughts. You knew it wasn't your fault that you got shot, but still you felt so stupid. The hurt of not being able to catch the unsub might've been even bigger than the one from your wound, all of them had been in even more difficult situations than you and made it out without so much as a scratch, and you couldn't even catch an unsub that was alone?

After a few hours, you were back on the jet, finally heading home. The guilty was still bothering you, and you even apologized for the mistake. Hotch just asked you to be more careful and follow instructions next time, but overall, the team seemed genuinely happy you were fine. Except, of course, for Spencer, who ever since you got in the jet was staring daggers at you.

Later, the jet finally landed, and you were eager to get home. You quickly went to the office to get a few of your things, Unfortunately, you and Spencer were now all alone in an uncomfortable silence waiting for the elevator.

“That was reckless” Spencer mutters under his breath

“I'm sorry, what?” You turn in your heels to face him, had you heard that right? Is that the first thing he's going to tell you after you just got shot?

“What you did on the case, was reckless and naive. You should've followed our instructions, you can't just do what you feel like doing” he's looking in your eye now, his voice coming out angry but with a hint of… worry?

“I'm sorry ok? I tried to do something, I just did not want to just stay there waiting while he could be doing god knows what inside that house” Your voice comes out more shaky than you wanted it to, the weight of the guilt pressing into your chest

“Still, it was reckless and stupid, you should never just storm into, alone, a place where an unsub might be, you never know what he might do to you, what might be waiting inside.” His gaze is cold, almost as if he's not actually here talking to you, but somewhere inside his head and his memories.

“Trust me, I know that. I regret my decision, but I wasn't doing what I felt like, I tried my best, Reid.” You turn to look directly in his eye. Yes you did something wrong, but you wouldn't let him out of all people talk like that to you “I might be the youngest on the team, the one with less experience but trust me… I'm not dumb, I earned my place here.” Your voice shaky when you said that last sentence, the insecurity you felt showing through your words.

Something in his gaze shifted after that, his expression became softer, almost sympathetic. “Listen, I'm not saying you're not qualified, I'm sorry if it came off like that, just be careful… That could have ended a lot worse, trust me I know”

“ I will” The air between you two less intimidating now but still heavy with tension, you two step in the elevator, the whole way to the garage an awkward silence until you two finally reach the bullpen's garage.  

Even thought you felt like now maybe he didn't absolutely want you gone from the team, you were still curious as to why he is so cold to you

“Sorry, I need to ask… Why do you hate me?” You turn to him, after finally gathering the courage to ask this question

“What do you mean, don't hate you”

“Yes you do, I mean you're not obligated to like me but since I joined, you didn't even meet me yet and just gave this cold look”

His eyebrows furrowed as he processed your words, clearly taken aback by your directness. He sighed, a hint of regret in his eyes, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "It's not about you personally," he finally admitted, his voice softer than before.

“What is it about, then?”

He takes a deep breath before starting to talk “You're only 3 years older than me when I joined this team, I know what it does you, to your mind. I guess I just saw way too much of me, of who I used to be, in you, and it terrified me to be honest” His cold facade disappeared completely now, in its place a soft and genuine expression.

“So you were, and I'm sorry for the words, an asshole to me because you were worried?” You almost can't wrap your head around it, all this time you felt like one of your biggest references in the BAU hated you, but instead he was caring for you.

“Yes, I see how it comes out as “asshole” behavior, but my brain just went full shutdown when i saw you” His face turns slightly red when he notices what he just said – Freudian slip or just a bad choice of words? He doesn't's know for sure – His hand goes to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck “I mean… for the resemblance, of how I acted when I had just joined, of course”

You give him a small smile, and just like that your side that has been a fan and read all of this man's articles comes back to life “Of course. Thank you for worrying but maybe instead of hating me you could… I don't know, if it's not too much of a bother of course, help me? I value your worries Doc, maybe you could help me not make the same mistakes you did”

He nodded, a hint of relief washing over his features. "I'd be happy to help," he said, a genuine smile finally breaking through. "I might not have all the answers, but I can definitely share what I've learned along the way."

“I'm happy to hear that, thanks, Doc. Reid” You wave at him as you begin walking over to your car.

“Hey, just call me Spencer” He smiles warmly at you

“See you tomorrow Spencer”

[just-a-small-obsession]

Boundaries

Summary: Soldier boy and healthy boundaries don't exist, loud crass words and heavy touches are all he knows. Inserting a strange woman that he can't crack or get into his bed makes his gears turn.

Paring: Soldier Boy x Autistic!Fem!Reader

Warnings: Language, slight Angst, Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy, OC Soldier Boy?, Rocking as a form of stemming, the use of the word retard, Slow burn.

Authors Note: Might have rushed this! I'm debating whether or not to make this into full-on fanfiction, so I hope this one-shot gives you an idea of what I want the dynamic to be between Soldier Boy and the reader.

Enjoy!

***********************************************

Soldier Boy's Pov

To say that she was a tough nut to crack is an understatement, a young thing like herself sitting next to America's first and only golden boy and not throwing herself at him like a bitch in heat was unusual. I look back up at the TV at the show that she turned on, not understanding what I'm seeing or just not caring in the first place. We aren't that far apart from each other on the couch, she's in cross legs while I'm spreading my legs wide just to give her a slight hint to look at the jewels.

"you must a lesbian."

She looked taken aback by my words.

"no"

"You telling me that you got a golden cock right next to you and you don't want to ride it like a cowgirl in the rodeo."

She moves away from me to the other side of the long couch and stares at the TV once more ignoring me. I sigh, being asleep for as long as I have and not getting any action makes a man do crazy things.

"That made me uncomfortable, please don't say things like that to me thank you." She said bluntly, not once making eye contact.

"I'm making you uncomfortable. listen I'm not going to touch you if that's what you're worried about, if I wanted to fuck I could go out that door and head to the corner and get a nice hooker."

"Apologize" another word she said to me without looking me in the eyes. Fuck people these days don't look at people when they talk to each other anymore. "I'm not apologizing," I tell her point blank. "you should", Silence. it was quiet after that, I'm not going to start a fight with some little girl over a little joke. Again, one tough nut. not going to lie I'm starting to find it pretty appealing. looking at her, she's actually nice to look at. Sitting with her and watching this show was better than listening to the cum guzzler complaining about whatever the British fucker wants. Having them leave me with Miss Sit pretty must be the best they have for a babysitter, I don't need a fucking babysitter I'm a grown-ass man. meeting her for the first time was quick and short, a simple wave and hello was from her and she went to sit with the others.

Catching my eye from the TV was her starting to rock back and forth on the couch, 'What the fuck is her deal is she some mental patent or something'. Her eyes were still glued to the screen as she continued to rock her heart away.

It was annoying, Fucking annoying. She was shaking the whole couch for fuck sake. "Hey stop that" I was ignored.

"I said stop that "

"Hey do you hear me, I stop rocking"

I was once again ignored. I clench my hand in a fist and slam it onto the couch cushions.

____POV

I don't know why but he's angry, I feel it radiating off of him was it because I told him to apologize to me after being rude and nasty. Butcher always told me to make sure if I'm feeling uncomfortable I should always say that I am. I don't think he's all that bad, Hughie always says that he's a dick and a danger, I agree with the first notion but dangerous? I don't like that he takes up a lot of space, he spreads his legs so he touches my legs and I hate it. We have a whole couch and he chooses to still touch me. At least my show is distracting me from him.

I feel the couch move heavily, like a smack of some sort. It startles me and I look at him confused. "Yeah?" what else is there to say?

"I've been talking to you and you won't stop this fucking rocking bullshit"

"What are you talking about?"

"you're rocking, fucking rocking can't you feel!" I shake my head, what is he talking about I'm just sitting here trying to watch my show in peace. "fucking stop!" He yells and grabs me harshly.

Shrinking my body I try to get away from him, why is he grabbing me like this! "L-Let go of me!" I squeak, surprisingly he does let go of me after I ask him to. I curl up in a ball at the corner of the sofa.

" There, was that so hard"

Soldier Boy's POV

Do I feel bad for grabbing her, yes but am I happy that she stopped that stupid shit, also yes. The hotel door opens to reveal tweedle dee and dumb.

"Fucking finally" I walk to Butcher and grab the case of beer out of his hand and place it on the small table. I look and see that she has left the sofa has her purse and phone in hand and walking to Limpdick.

" I want to go home now hugie"

"Are you okay?"

"I want to go home now please." With a nod, they both leave the room and close the door behind them. Taking a swig butcher looks at me pissed.

" The fuck happened here mate?"

"She's the one doing her freaky bullshit, she's got something wrong with her head that one."

"She's different is all, nothing wrong with that"

"Fucking rocking back and forth, that normal for you"

"She does that to calm herself down mate, she does it all that time with us. just let her ride it out." I laugh, "Grabbing her sure made her stop, it was fucking annoying me." Butcher walked towards me and grabbed my shirt collar. "you cunt" "Get your fucking hands off me" I push him away. After a while Hughie is back, he looks at me with a pissed-off look butcher had not too long ago. I'm sitting back on the couch and Hughie sits next to me.

"You can't do that to her"

"Do what? scare her? Show her manners"

"Being a dick and not respecting her boundaries, you ass"

"Boundaries what the fuck does boundaries have to do with this"

"Listen I don't know what you called people like her back then but now, she is what you call being on the spectrum, autistic."

"You mean a retard right?"

"Jesus Christ no, and don't say that!" the kid freaks out and sighs as he puts his face in his hands. "She just does things her own certain way, okay, she has her own boundaries, and grabbing her like that was one of them."

"What you telling me I scared her?"

"No, just made her anxious and confused. She doesn't like being touched that much really." well fuck, now that weak little shit got me feeling bad. I didn't want to make this a big deal it was just a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. Christ, it's not like I wanted to make her feel that way. I sigh and look at the kid, "Fine, I'll apologize to her when she comes back tomorrow."

********************************

Tomorrow came and Soldier Boy was in his normal stop on the sofa watching the shit on the TV he didn't even like. She was supposed to be arriving at the hotel in a short bit and he was getting ready to possibly say sorry for the first time in his life. The door opened and she came through with headphones in her ears and a phone in her face. She places her purse on the table takes her headphones off and turns her phone off.

"Hi" quiet as a mouse.

"Hey, sorry about yesterday" Ripping it off like a bandaid. she nods her head and smiles at him.

"Thank you," she says and sits down in the same spot she did the day before crossing her legs, and looks at the TV, Soldier Boy watching her with a softness blooming in his eyes. Boundaries, Boundaries he can learn.

************************************************************************

@mochminnie

@sl33pylilbunny

@pumpkincandlesoup

Still felt like I rushed this, but I wanted this out before I forgot about it in my drafts. I just to see if I even liked the vibes of this.

[mintakablue]

rarely do i comment on posts directly, but i definitely felt this as a grad student who Absolutely did not have the support net. despite going to grad school in-state for a program that lasted nine months and receiving a stipend from my school... i still had to take out student loans, rack up some credit card debt, and use everything i had saved from three years worth of previous jobs.

i went to grad school in one of the most expensive cities in the united states. we went to a conference early on in a different state and the school only provided us a stipend of $500 for a flight, hotel, and transportation. other students were in a similar boat as me or worse off: with unstable living situations, scrounging up money from freelancing or trying to score paid internships, making tough choices about budgeting for food and travel.

but even in our relatively small cohort, other students seemed to put on the airs of poverty, complaining alongside us about the cost of groceries, living, and gas. still, those students managed to pay for vacations to other countries over the break. took expensive additional classes unrelated to our curriculum. paid for bills with nary a drop of sweat. in retrospect, it does seem like they felt like we were all in the same boat, that if things got REALLY hard, we all could just embarrass ourselves temporarily and ask someone for money--when in reality, most of us needed to do extra work to earn what we needed.

i cannot fault these people, young people like myself, for living their lives with the money they had. lord knows i could fall back on my savings and occasionally splurge for temporary luxuries. but like you said, the perception they had of themselves--as people scraping by, like the rest of us--was divorced from reality in a way i struggled to understand. i think your post articulated a lot of it though so i'm sharing my experience and also saying thanks for talking about it. i felt kind of isolated as a grad student still paying off so much of my debt; like i had somehow failed to acquire enough scholarships or earn grants. but understanding that other people had more of that financial safety net made me stop moralizing about not having the same resources they did.

it's so funny how influencer types are like My Day As A Working Artiste Creative Type, by which they mean that they do artiste creative work and it's completely irrelevant to the source of the money they live off, which is their parents

[starberry-cupcake]

GUESS WHO'S BACK??? Happy new year you bone-loving weirdos (affectionately)!!! Let's start 2025 with Nona!!!

previously, in this react series:

we (I mean me, but also you, alongside me) finished harrowcita del 9

we read some short stories

I made a gideon craft as a gift and the person I made it for told me that the recap I wrote in the back made it to some discord server somewhere

my legacy is being unfunny

NOW LET'S START WITH NONA:

(that's how I called 2 of my great-grandmothers)

I decided to skip all the praise for the book because some of them were getting a little too involved with the story and I don't want to know anything, thank you very much

I did however read the blurb in the inside cover that I missed the last time

I wonder if at some point I could make like an audio version of a recap as I read, because my reaction when I read the following was Something, but then again you'd have to deal with my pronunciation of the names and idk if I want that

anyway, blurb says "with Pyrrha, Camilla and Palamedes"

???????????????????????????????????????????

I thought it was judith and coronabeer twin??????

I'm gonna change her name from regina george twin to coronabeer twin now because she outlived her other nickname

she's the only nickname graduate so far

who took palmolive out of the tamagotchi river loft???????

who set him loose????

how is phyrrha there, she was with gideon/harrow/gideonharrow fusion??????

"each night, Nona dreams of a woman with a skull painted face"

don't we all

the list of books says "Nona the Ninth" and so does the title in the paratext

instead of dramatis personae we have a guest list for a party

there are a lot of dogs invited to the party, which is nice

one of them has six legs

there's also people with BOE names

and one kevin, love to see it, I'll remember him

lots of meme potential there

there are some camilla annotations beside all the people from BOE allegedly nona wants to invite

still not seeing coronabeer and/or judith

gonna imagine that, wherever they are, they're making out

good for them

we got two poems after, the latter of which is a bit heart wrenching, I don't wanna ask about it

then we got a title that looks like a bible verse

had to google it and it is a verse about peter and a disciple finding jesus's tomb empty

ice cube barbie is locked tomb jesus confirmed

I've never mentioned this before but this has happened to me ever since book 1, and since it's here again I'm gonna say it

I have noticed I have a bad knee jerk reaction to the adjective 'fat' being used so often for so many things, but I'm trying to work thought it

don't wanna project my trauma onto unintended narrators

we got a summarized recount of events of what might be how emperor asshat and some of his lyctors got where they got from maybe present times???

there's talk about cryogenics for a lot of people and an evacuation plan from earth

and names are erased but we have some initials that could be augustine, mercygirl, cassiopeia and gideon

I don't think c is not!dulcinea because she was meant to be a newer model lyctor

during this recount he's in the beach alongside harrow, who he says he's gonna hurt

harrow apparently says she still loves him

gideon would be kicking him in the nuts

also, I thought the emperor was with yandere twin

what the hell happened between the two books???? where's everyone????

DAY ONE (hot sauce and 5 days until the tomb opens) CH 1

we've got a recorded statement of what feels to me like the Pool Situation Wink Wonk You Know The One

is she harrow??? or is harrow in the river with the emperor and this is a new person???? who is this????? is harrow's soul in the river???? where is gideon's perfectly preserved body that we knew camilla was carrying around with coronabeer and judith???

I don't know anything

but my wife is here, so it's all good

also, she's apparently sharing a body with palmolive now

so now the wife ideal turned into a polycule situation, I guess

didn't have that in my 2025 cards

I have two hands, apparently, idk

turns out, palmolive was somehow freed from his tamagotchi loft in the river and placed in camilla's body so they share it

how? by who? when?

glad you asked, I don't know

they're sharing space now, that's all I know

it's kind of like the lyctors should have been if the emperor wasn't an asshole, I guess

because it seems they can also switch easily and like coexist without totally cutting the other one out

it feels a lot healthier and organic in their relationship, even though palmolive is a soul guest

palmolive says camilla's body is a temple, so I'm glad we agree

pyrrha is also there, I assume taking over og!gideon's body fully, since he died, afaik

they're taking care of nona, who doesn't know who she is and they don't seem to know either, but if she has harrow's memories, I don't know what to tell you

they're living in a complicated militarized situation with few resources and little light use

palmolive thinks he could write explicit materials for a living but camilla doesn't want them to be remembered for that

palmolive wrote a lot of Things to his bae in correspondence, so maybe that's already part of his legacy

nona is sent to her room while palmolive and pyrrha argue about BOE acting weird

camolive want to rescue people, pyrrha thinks it's a bad idea and wants to get nona away from the planet

pyrrha also mentions a "she" that's crazier than camilla and makes references to commander wake me up when september ends but that one died???? twice????? so idk who this new "she" is

let's remember, for the record, that both og!gideon and pyrrha were Intimate with commander wake me up before we go go

apparently there are more people who are planet refugees in this one planet than two houses combined

which doesn't surprise me in the least, because that's how oppression often works, but is good to have it confirmed

heralds are also still a problem and camilla wants to fight them

pyrrha thinks that's a bad idea, because there's data of that not being possible

but she doesn't know that camilla hect is perfect and can do everything right always

it is important for me to clarify that, more than anyone ever in this book series, nona is the true definition of what in my land we refer to as: "está en un cumple"

the literal definition of the phrase means "she's in a birthday party"

the idiom definition is that someone is totally unaware of what is going on, without understanding what's around them, often used for people in a content state while unaware of a problem everyone else is worrying about

I truly think it's a very good way to describe her and I can't translate it in a way that feels the exact way, especially due to the party context

I headcanon her wearing this shirt

she also wants to save the animals, while camolive want to save the people

pyrrha is just tired and wants to retire to a farming planet to live in peace

I get it, though, imagine having to serve emperor asshat for so long

poor cavalier deserves some rest, og!gideon had the right idea when he exited the entire situation

saw an out with that fight in the river and left the chat

pyrrha is also worried about BOE capturing and torturing camolive for interrogation

and there seems to be an underlying plan between camolive and pyrrha that I'm not entirely sure of yet

nona, apparently, goes to school, because she's in a cumple, as previously established

going to school on top of the eye in the sky and the military issues and the social strife and the potential torturing doesn't sound ideal but very glad there's still an education system in place among all that

AND THAT'S IT FOR NOW!!! It's proving a bit complicated to do recaps with a paperback but I'm gonna try to find my footing!! See you on the next one!!

[susiekern]

15. the one with the question

a/n: the demons told me to name the chapter "the one with hotneighbor235" so let's say it's an alternative title

warnings: swearing

word count: 1.829

masterlist

previous | next

You drop your phone on the desk and sigh deeply. It’s been almost a week, yeah. And you still haven’t talked to Megumi. You weren’t exactly sure what you were going to tell him anyway. ‘It was shitty when you talked to me as my favorite artist? When you hide that you’re him and try to build a relationship with me anyway? When you lied multiple times to conceal the truth?’

One part of you truly understood why it turned out like that. He couldn’t just randomly tell you about it all. The whole band worked hard to keep their identities covered, and it wouldn’t work if they just told people around them all the time. What hurt you was how he used Zenin to talk to you at the same time that he got close to you as himself. Why did he do that? For fun? To laugh at the dumb fan who was over the moon because he noticed her? That hurt part of your heart kept telling you it was cruel and you shouldn’t just forgive him.

But fuck, did you miss him. You barely stopped yourself from texting him back last night when your phone lit up with a message at 2 am.

‘I won’t give up on us.’

Please, don’t.

You wanted Megumi back, of course you did. But the wound was still too raw to just cover it up and forget about it. Thankfully, he limited himself to texting you, respecting that you didn’t want to see him, even though showing up at your door would only take him a few seconds. You needed the time and space, and he gave it to you. But how much more do you need?

“Hi, guys! Sorry for canceling earlier this week, but sickness got the best of me. As a compensation, we have a guest tonight, your favorite, Yuji.” Tuning out your thoughts, you put on your best smile and focus on your stream. It can wait a few more hours.

zeyde_: come again to Kyoto, pleaaaase

sammie: LET’S DO A MEET-UP IN KYOTO, YES.

“I’ll think about it, for sure. It was great to see some of you at the expo and obviously to meet with you, Zeyde, for the concert later.” You smile at the camera a few hours later, having just ended a call with Yuji after playing the planned games. It was truly relaxing, occupying your mind for the evening with something else than the last week. “Nobara wanted to go next time too, so we could probably make it happen.”

viviaaan: omg yes, bring the queen with you

viviaaan: I have to ask her about a few things from my closet, that’d be perfect!

zeyde_: the pleasure was mine, always happy to be a guide and a photographer

yusshi: I’m so jealous, must be nice not to live in a shithole, watch me take a trip across the country to meet you

“It’s always incredible to talk to any of you, so even if only two people show up, I’ll be more than happy.” Your cheeks almost hurt from smiling at the comments that flood the chat.

hotneighbor235: god I missed that smile

sammie: hotneighbor?!

zeyde_: THE hot neighbor

rooney_: wait what’s going on

“What the hell?” You murmur under your breath and furrow your brows. No, he wouldn’t do that, right?

viviaaan: wdym you missed it

zeyde_: what have you done hot neighbor

hotneighbor235: something shitty, but hopefully I can make it right

“You really don’t give up, huh?”

hotneighbor235: never

hotneighbor235: 5 minutes y/n, that’s all I need.

sammie: as a hot neighbor x y/n shipper, I’m with him

viviaaan: give the guy a chance, that’s actually adorable to come here and ask

yusshi: if a dude showed up in my chat asking for 5 mins, I’d cave in instantly

hotneighbor235: you’ve heard the people, darling

hotneighbor235: what do you say?

“5 minutes and not one longer. I’ll meet you upstairs soon.” Sighing, you nod your head. You can’t lie; asking on your stream warms up your heart a little. That’s an effort that you didn’t expect. Besides, it’s only 5 minutes, right? You’ll let him explain and nothing more, then you can think this through again.

hotneighbor235: we both know how it usually ends

hotneighbor235: but I’ll take what you give

hotneighbor235: thanks chat

20 minutes later, you climb the staircase leading to the rooftop. It brings back memories of every time you went there to just sit and talk to Megumi, all those weeks ago. When it all seemed easier. No, when it was easier. Now you’re not sure what to expect; your hands are shaking a little, and your brain feels fogged up. You finally go through the door, feeling the cold air enveloping you in a moment.

“You actually came.” Megumi sounds shocked, like he didn’t expect you to show up in the end. He’s standing in the usual spot, black hoodie on, hair tousled by the wind, cheeks a bit blushed, but you can’t tell if it’s due to the cold or emotions. You nervously come closer, tugging at the sleeves of your own hoodie.

“Yeah.” You murmur, standing in front of him, keeping the distance. “Hi.”

“Hi.” You hate how unsure your voices sound, how it feels like this week and everything that happened created a valley between you two. But you won’t be the one to cross it first, no matter how much you want to feel his warmth and arms around your body or breathe in his smell, which brings you so much comfort every time. “I’m… Fuck, I don’t even know how to start.”

“You’ve had almost a week to figure it out, Megumi. Or even longer if you ever planned to have this conversation with me.”

“I know. I just didn’t think you’d actually agree to talk to me tonight.” His fingers tug anxiously on his hair as he takes a deep breath in. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that you found out like this, I should be the one to tell you about it all. But I need you to know that I didn’t mean anything wrong by keeping it from you. At first, I would never think we’d be that close, but then I saw it as an opportunity. It was easier to talk to you as a Zenin since you didn’t even like Megumi. But then I fell too deep and couldn’t find a proper way to get out of this.” He says, his voice hurting almost as much as your heart did in the past days.

“I understand why you kept it hidden at first, truly. But after Kyoto and the last few weeks, I thought we both felt the same, and I felt like an idiot when I finally figured it out.” Megumi’s eyes meet yours, and you almost gasp seeing how intense his gaze is.

“We feel the same. At least I hope you still do. And I’m the idiot for not telling you earlier, I wanted to do it in Kyoto, but I was worried. Zenin is a different part of me, and sometimes even I can’t believe we’re the same person. So I thought maybe you’d be mad for ruining his image in your head or disappointed with how it turns out.”

“I would never be disappointed. God, Megumi. If the last months showed me anything, it’s that you’re more than I could ever ask for. Zenin was a dumb fantasy of mine, somewhere deep in my head, but you’re the one I wanted to build something with. My future. Our future.” You clench your fists, keeping your head high. He thought you’d be disappointed? “I’m only disappointed that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me before. But at the same time, we’re not even officially together, so how could I expect it?”

“What do you mean?” His brows are furrowed, and there’s an evident confusion on his face. “We’re together. We’ve been together since our first date.”

Wait, what? Now you’re the one who’s confused.

“We’re together?”

“I mean, if you still want to be with me, yeah?” Hysteric laughter that pulls from your chest makes him frown a little. “I’ll take that as a no?”

“I want to. It’s just not how this thing is supposed to be working.” You take a deep breath in and shake your head a little. There’s hope behind his green eyes, and you can’t help the small smile that tugs on your lips.

“Oh, sorry, you want me down on my knees and asking, or…?” He risks joking, his smirk that you love so much back in its usual place.

God, how you missed seeing it. Seeing him. Talking to him. You missed everything that came with Megumi Fushiguro. His green eyes you got lost in every time, his deep voice, terrible jokes, and calloused fingers. How he made you feel with just one look your way. Sure, you need to work on the communication between you two, but you’re willing to take the risk and give him a chance because how you feel around him is too rare not to try.

“Not hiding your second identity and being fully honest will be enough.” Your words make him drop his gaze to his shoes. “Any other alter ego I should know about?”

“Nope, Zenin is the only one, I promise.” He sighs and takes a step closer to you. “I want to ask, though.”

“Doing it the right way this time?” You take a step his way too, giving him the reassurance he so desperately needed.

“Something like that, yes.” Megumi takes one of your hands in his, gently, like he’s scared you’ll run away any moment now. “y/n y/l, will you be my girlfriend? With full honesty and VIP tickets to the concerts this time.”

“You got me at the tickets. So yes, I will be your girlfriend. But pull shit like that once again, and I’ll throw you off this rooftop with my bare hands.” The threat would be more serious if you weren’t smiling like crazy.

“If I hurt you again, I’ll jump on my own.” With that, he pulls you in, one of his hands cradling your cheek as his eyes roam around your face. “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.”

You don’t answer, instead going on your toes to connect your lips in a first kiss in what seems like forever. It’s gentle, almost unsure, as you both test the water first. But you only need a few seconds to fall into the rhythm you know so well, his arms wrapping around your waist, as yours circle his shoulders, pulling each other closer. That feeling of comfort that envelops the both of you, the warmth and peace of mind, was worth waiting for. It was all worth it, as long as he held you close and as long as you kept smiling at him.

tag list (lmk if you wanna be added!): @nytylie @fresa-luna @syrooo @zaranobiyuyu @jvpit3rr @pandabiene5115 @good-mourning0 @pearlydays @irwinchester @pxppetmxster @ivydoesit23 @zayuriluvs @applepi25 @s777athv @estella-novella @wgafa @pookalicious-hq @lovely-maryj @briezy04764

[aristocratic-otter]

Hi all! It's so lovely to see so many people motivated by the fresh feeling of a new year. Thank you for sharing your work with me, @artsyunderstudy, @nausikaaa, @monbons, @thewholelemon, @roomwithanopenfire,

@whatevertheweather, @bookish-bogwitch, @martsonmars, @bookishbroadwayandblind, and @prettygoododds.

One thing I learned from reading everyone's year-end retrospectives: if I want to be more involved, I need to stop being such a perfectionist! I could have been posting every week, but I'd be kicking myself over not having finished a piece of every single WIP...and so I wouldn't post. I'm gonna challenge myself to just post, even if I only wrote one thing the previous week. So that said, it was a vacation week for me, so along with posting my gift fic for @facewithoutheart, A Very Zombie Christmas, I did actually do work on a lot of my WIPs, and you can expect updates on at least two of them this week.

So, here we go. As always, I absolutely did not bother to count six sentences:

From my 2023 COTTA, Snow Fox:

It took some convincing to get Penny and Mitali out the window and up onto the roof. Well, more Mitali than Penny. Neither woman much liked the fact that their petticoats and whatever other underthings women wear would be clearly visible from underneath the whole time they were climbing. 

Penny accepted it as a necessity with a grumble and an embarrassed flush, but Mitali truly balked at the idea. Finally, Pen suggested that I lower a loop of rope rather than an end of rope, and the women could sit in the loop and be hauled up. That resolved the whole ridiculous issue, and we had both women out of the house and onto the roof in short order. 

From my COBB with @cutestkilla: The Rat and the River

I’ve always wanted to be part of one of Snow’s famous ‘lunch meetings’.  Penelope’s told me about them. Simon thinks better with food, so all  information is shared and ideas are circulated over meals in Simon’s team. I used to wish to be British myself so I could join his team and take part in these comfortable meetings of minds. I love food and I love talk, especially talk about disease. What could be more enticing than spending time over sandwiches with the famous Snow’s angels? 

Especially one particular angel. 

From Tiktok Dancer:

Penny, Shep, Agatha and I are all staring at him, jaws hanging loose in our surprise at his unexpected eloquence and passion. Baz just sips on his fruity cocktail and smiles back at us demurely.

I suddenly realize how little I know about this man I’ve fallen head over heels for. And not knowing makes me itch—I can’t stand it.

“What dream are you pursuing?”  I blurt. 

Baz looks at me steadily, and I can almost see him revising his first answer in his head.

From my Visitor Baz AU: 

Baz is dead.

Baz is dead. 

I can’t understand it. The idea that Baz, my terrible roommate, will never snark at me from his desk across the room from mine again…that he’ll never use up all the hot water with his endless showers or wear his uniform in such a way that makes it look designer while all the rest of us look boring. He’ll never suck down a rat in the catacombs or earn the highest score on a Magic Words exam. 

Baz is dead. 

From Saving Simon Snow (I’ve got to reread this one to get my mojo back on it, I think. But here’s six new shortish sentences):

In all our years of cohabitation, I’ve never seen Simon truly lose his temper with Bunce. With me, certainly. Hundreds of times. In the Catacombs, he was irritable and defiant. But now? The moment Bunce grabs hold of his arm, Simon goes off. 

 From CORB #1, Baby Mine with @argumentativeantitheticalg

His voice takes on that haughty, lecturing tone I used to hate so much. Or at least that I used to think that I hated. It made me want to slam him against the wall and get in his face. 

I think I maybe just wanted to get my face on his face. Why was I so fucking stupid?

I’m lost in rumination on my own failings when the rise in volume from the crib and the pointed clearing of Baz’s throat both bring me back.

From CORB #2: The Stoves Come On At Night, with @ebbpettier

I wake up.

For several seconds, I blink groggily into the early morning light. I try to catch at the wisps of the dream I was having, but they’re fading. 

I can’t have been asleep for more than a couple of hours. Like I’d planned, I’d slept a few hours last night and then got up at three a.m. Three hours later, after I’d finished a sketchy patrol, I headed back to bed as the first rays of the sun were just breaking over the horizon. 

It can’t be more than 8 am now. What on earth woke me up? Even if I can’t really remember it, I’d been having such a pleasant dream…

Suddenly, I realize that the annoying buzzing sound I hear is an alarm–the fire alarm!

Tags and howdies to: @chen-chen-chen-again-chen, @dragoneggos, @erzbethluna, @palimpsessed, @fatalfangirl,

@melodysmash, @moments-au-crayon22, @moodandmist,  @mostlymaudlin, @onepintobean,

@raenestee, @tea-brigade, @upuntil6am, @whogaveyoupermission, @carryonsimoncarryonbaz,

@krisrix, @shemakesmeforget, @confused-bi-queer, @nightimedreamersghost, @mooncello,

@shrekgogurt, @cosmicalart,  @theearlgreymage, @iamamythologicalcreature, @ileadacharmedlife,

@thehoneyedhufflepuff, @facewithoutheart, @thewholelemon, @skeedelvee, @ivelovedhimthroughworse

@messofthejess, @best--dress, @noblecorgi, @alexalexinii,  @hushed-chorus, 

@rimeswithpurple, @blackberrysummerblog, @cutestkilla, @letraspal, @you-remind-me-of-the-babe,

@wellbelesbian, @ic3-que3n, @emeryhall, @larkral, @youarenevertooold,

@j-nipper-95, @ebbpettier, and @argumentativeantitheticalg

[lillaydee]

Uncoupled - June

Roommate! Joel Miller / Reader

Two people leaving their marriages ended up going through the mandatory one year separation together before filing for divorce.

Nothing could possibly happen in a year, right?

WARNINGS: Alternate Universe - No Cordyceps Outbreak (The Last of Us), Ellie & Joel Bonding (The Last of Us), Good Parent Joel (The Last of Us), Soft Joel (The Last of Us), Joel Needs a Hug (The Last of Us), Hurt Joel (The Last of Us), Protective Joel (The Last of Us), No age gap, Roommate Joel, Teacher Joel, Handyman Joel, Insecure Joel, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning.

SERIES MASTER LIST

May

---

Joel sat in the waiting room, a very jittery Jen next to him. The results of the biopsy was in. He hadn’t wanted to be there for Jen, initially. There was a part of him that was convinced Jen was doing this to try to guilt him into staying. He didn’t want to chance it, he was finally happy. His life with you and Ellie had been perfect. He was not going to ruin this.

He was looking forward to the divorce, so much so he declined alimony, just so he didn’t have to be tied to her in any way. Since she was the ‘at fault’ party and made so much more than him, he could get it, but he had a feeling Jen would stretch the process and rather than go back and forth on this whole thing he just wanted out. She would get anything in her name, the house, the car, her money, and he would be free of her. That was all he wanted.

He told you he didn’t want to go. He told you he didn’t want to be involved. Whatever it was, he could support her from afar. There was no need for him to be there with her. Heck, even her own parents and siblings didn’t want to be there for her. Her success and ‘glow-up’ didn’t just isolate him, it extended to her family as well, effectively isolating herself from everyone who could’ve been there for her.

But you. You were too soft hearted, you talked him into being there for her. We got lucky, you told him, we found each other. She didn’t have anyone. Be there for her. She was the woman you loved for 15 years. Do this for her. He tried to tell you that Jen would stick to him like a leech if they found something malignant, guilt him into staying, but you told him that the two of you would cross that bridge then, if it came.

So he called her, went with her for the biopsy, held her hand through it all. Drove her home after, made sure she was alright and had everything she needed. He was actually starting to feel glad he could do things like that for her and not have it be an awkward situation. That they could sort of be friends.

And then she kissed him.

Jen just found out that she was all alone, Max declining to be involved at all despite their history, and she was desperate. The reality of her actions pushing the one man she now knew she could rely on was hitting her hard, and she was willing to do anything to win him back.

Jen saw immediately who Max was once they got together officially. He was a man who only thought of himself, his reputation, his comfort, his needs. He was slowly suggesting that a woman’s place was at home, not out in the world like she was, working side by side with men. He was threatened by her success, even if it was nothing compared to his. She saw now that you opening the bakery was the starting point for his unrelenting search for power; he was afraid you would be successful. More so than him. Max was not someone who could handle that. And the moment she made it clear that she was never giving her career up, their problems started.

She began to miss Joel then. He was never threatened by her success. He even worked harder to try and contribute more, but in her egotistical mind, that was not enough. She regretted that now, but even she could see that she treated him horribly once she found success. And now he’s all happy with you, someone who, according to Max, was her opposite. Someone Joel could easily find happiness with. So she was determined to win him back.

But Joel was still level headed. He wasn’t surprised, he knew she would try something like this. Rather than pushing her off him, he gently turned his head and pulled himself off her, turning and leaving before she could say anything else.

He told you about it the moment he got home. He could see your face turn to anger, but you true to your form, you told him she was probably just an emotional mess right now and wasn’t thinking.

Joel was not happy about it, though. He made sure to physically distance himself from Jen, not meeting her unless necessary. She began sending him suggestive texts, all of which he ignored, and making appearances where she knew he would be, even going to his school to see him without your knowledge.

She even went to see you behind Joel’s back, telling you that if you had any decency at all, you would leave him, let him go back to her, she obviously needed him more right now. God only knew how long she would have left with him. She wasn’t shy to use such lines with him either, although he never took the bait, and neither did you.

But when she began suggesting for him to not go to get the results, he knew something was wrong. He knew she was being conniving, planning something. Hiding something. She even changed the appointment time, thinking he wouldn’t find out. Except the doctor’s office emailed him the new appointment time too, and the look on her face when she saw him at the hospital was a confirmation of his suspicion.

The result came back as benign. She would still need surgery to remove the mass, but it wasn’t cancerous. And the growth was small enough for her to have an outpatient surgery, no hospital stay required. Just a few hours of observation. She wouldn’t even need aftercare, so there was no need for Joel to be there for her for days after the surgery.

He did, though, agree to be with her on the day itself.

That should be enough.

**********

Max had kept trying. Calling and texting and visiting begging you to reconsider the divorce. Jen’s initial diagnosis made him scared. Not for her, but scared that should anything like that happen to him, he would have no one, just like her. He knew Jen was never going to support him, hold his hands through something like that. But you would. He knew that. He had always known that. That was one of the reasons he fell in love with you. It was you who shared a dingy room with him when the two of you first got married, sleeping on a used mattress and eating sparingly when money was tight.

When your bakery started making money, he became threatened, worried that you would start bossing him around, so he worked harder to be more successful, to make sure you would never outearn him. He got there, and somehow, began treating you the way he was worried you would him in the first place.

He wanted you to give up the bakery, make sure you would only be relying on him. That you would be lost without him. He needed that validation to feel like a man.

But you had a great support system. Eddie would die for you. Tess and Frank had the knowledge, the money, the resources to help you out. And you seemed unphased when he was treating you like garbage. So he did more. He found faults with you where he didn’t before. He wanted you to put you in a position where you would finally say fine, you’ll give up the bakery and stay at home, just so that he would treat you better. He didn’t know why, but he wanted you to beg, wanted you to curl into a foetal position and cry, tell him you couldn’t live without him.

Instead, you left him.

And the moment you did, he realized how alone he was in the world. His friends, at least the ones who would drop everything to rush to his aid had been your friends. His work friends were never going to do that for him, they were networking, not making loyal, lifelong connections with him. He had pushed his own family away in his mission to put you down; they had all been on your side, knowing how he had treated you.

He wanted you back. So badly. But you had found Joel. And he knew Joel was the anti-Max. Joel would never be threatened with your success. You might actually be happy with him. You were so adamant on the divorce you waived alimony, which if you didn’t, would erase all your money issues. But you didn’t want to be tied up to him anymore. You just wanted out.

It stung him, how badly you wanted to get away from him, when all he wanted was to win you back.

**********

It was a week before the legal separation was due to end. You were home early that day, Ellie told you her head hurt, and Joel was at the hospital with Jen for her surgery. You were looking at the contents in your fridge when someone knocked on the door.

Max.

He told you he was just there with some of your stuff, the ones you left at his house. True enough, there were boxes in his car. So you let him unload them into your living room. He looked… resigned, defeated, accepting. He stood in front of your door, hands in his pocket, asking you what it was that Joel had that he didn’t. He didn’t get it. He could give you much more than Joel could. Look at this house, look at the house you left, he told you. When you didn’t answer, he asked if Joel was more gifted than him, between the legs – Jen had never told him, but he had a suspicion he was right.

You rolled your eyes. Even after everything, Max was still so immature.

“The measure of a man is not how much money he has in his bank account, or what is hidden in his pants, Max. Joel is a man, through and through. He’s a good man. Honest, reliable, protective, kind, considerate, and above all, secure. He doesn’t need me to look a certain way or stay at home and wait on him hand and foot to know he’s a man.”

He looked at his feet. “I’m going to miss having you around. I already do.”

“No, Max, you miss what I did for you. You don’t miss me. You miss the person who folds the laundry and cooks and cleans. Even when I did do that for you, you chastised me and made me feel like shit for doing them in the first place, always putting me down, nothing was enough. I think you just miss having someone to be cruel to.”

His head snapped up, his eyes filling with tears. “I’m so sorry I treated you like that, Lil. Really. I don’t know what got over me. I know that now. Please Lil, give me another chance.”

“Once bitten, twice shy, Max. I’m not that dumb.”

He nodded, his tears falling to his cheeks. He quietly asked for a hug. Just to say goodbye. Please?

You stepped outside and let him hug you. He breathed you in, his nose in your hair, his eyes closed. He held you tight, and you let him. For a moment, you felt a bit emotional. This was the man you had thought you would spend the rest of your life with. Sure, it was your choice to leave, but it didn’t mean that you weren’t sad. He treated you badly for four years, but there were those 11 years before that, when you shared so many happy memories with him. Even in your impatience to get it all over and done with, you still had to admit; you were heartbroken that your marriage was coming to an end. You didn’t start it with the intent of it turning out this way. No one does. Everyone who married for love thought they would live happily ever after, but things happen. People change. Hearts change.

You pulled back from him, only for him to grab your face and kiss you in the mouth. Hard. Passionate. It took you by surprise, but you pulled back from him, immediately going inside and shutting the door to his face. He didn’t protest, leaving as soon as you did.

You knew you were going to tell Joel about it later, but somewhere in your heart you figured it was just Max’s way of saying goodbye.

**********

Joel sat by Jen’s bedside while she was still unconscious, although she did wake up every now and then, still groggy and very much under the influence of her anaesthesia. Surgery had gone well, scans were clean, she should be okay to go home in a few hours. She would need follow up scans and consultations for them to keep an eye on the site, but she was fine. Joel found himself a bit melancholic – he had loved this woman. In some ways, he still loved her. You don’t love someone for 15 years and stop in a second. Sure, she treated him like shit these last few years, but he had 11 happy years with her. He was so happy when she said yes to marrying him. To spending the rest of her life with him.

While he was looking forward to the divorce, he had to admit that he was mourning it as well. He was mourning the young man who was so in love, so hopeful about starting a new life with the woman he loved. He didn’t marry with the intent to leave when things got rough. But the last four years was so hard on him he could feel himself start to change – he was starting to be bitter, hateful, and that was not the person he wanted to be.

He looked at his soon to be ex wife’s face, the beautiful face she had paid for, and for a moment, he saw the plain young girl he fell in love with, completely unaware how much she could change. He wondered if somewhere in there, that young girl he had fallen for was still around.

She was awake for the first ten minutes she was wheeled back into the day care room they had provided for her, yammering on and on about how thankful she was for him to be there, how thankful she was that he was in her life, how much she loved him, what a good husband he was, that she’s the luckiest woman on earth to have him as her husband. But then she stopped, and Joel had the mind to ask her why she didn’t want him at the appointment for the results. She told him, quite honestly, that she was planning to lie to him about the results to guilt him into staying. She began sobbing, telling him how much she regretted what she did to him, that she was only trying to fill a well of needs that she knew would never be filled.

She pleaded with him to stay, telling him she knew he didn’t really want to leave. Because if he did, he wouldn’t have left something extremely valuable to him with her at the house. Please, Joel, come back to me. I’ll do better, she said, practically grabbing his arm to lay in bed with her, before losing consciousness again.

His thoughts and reminisces of their past life was suddenly interrupted by his phone dinging. Someone had texted him. An unknown number.

‘You sure your girlfriend doesn’t want her husband back, Miller?’

A picture quickly followed. Joel could feel his heart drop to the floor, the picture blurry from his immediate tears, his insides turned ice cold.

Another text. From you, this time.

‘Max just stopped by. Something happened. I’ll explain when you get back, okay?’

And whatever warmth that his body had left just escaped his form altogether.  

**********

You waited patiently for him to return home, you wanted to tell him what Max did. But you didn’t feel right telling him on the phone or via text. Plus, he was taking care of Jen. You shouldn’t be the pushy girlfriend, right? You had been together a little over a month. You hadn’t even said ‘I love you’ yet. And you were still married to your husband, and him to his wife. One week. And they would be served. It would finally be over, and you and Joel could move on.

What was taking him so long? The surgery was this morning, he should be home by now. His dinner was waiting. It’s past Ellie’s bedtime. You had tried calling, but your calls went straight to voicemail. Your texts undelivered.

You weren’t nervous to tell him about the kiss. You didn’t do anything wrong. But with your calls and texts not going through, you had to wonder what was going on, and to be frank, you were starting to feel a bit worried.

His truck finally drove in to the driveway. You shot up and opened the door.

That’s weird. Jen was in the truck with him. He got out and told her to wait for him, engine left idling. He walked past you, not saying anything, his face unreadable, leaving you confused in the entryway. Jen was looking at you with the smuggest look. She beckoned you to go to her. So you did, she was medicated, might as well, you thought.

She lowered the window, smirking at you like she’d won something.

“You know, I knew you would come to your senses. But let’s be honest for a second. Even if you didn’t, what made you think you would be good enough for him? What the fuck could you ever offer him that I couldn’t twofold? Look at you, look at me.”

You were so confused. But she wouldn’t let you get a word in edgewise.

“Look, I’m sorry things turned out this way, but it’s for the best. I promise.”

Joel came back out, his suitcases in his hands. He placed both of them in the back of his truck.

You didn’t think Jen could be any smugger than she already was, but clearly, you were wrong. She sneered at you, lifted her left hand at you, her old engagement ring and wedding band back on.

“Toodles,” she said, waving them at you, before giving you the middle finger, the biggest shit-eating smile on her face.

Joel looked at your confused face, everything seemed unreal, blurry. He spoke to you, his face passive and emotionless. His voice sounded like he was underwater. He told you he would be back for his stuff. He got back in, shut the door and buckled up. He put the gear in reverse and backed out of your driveway, leaving you standing there clueless, your feet rooted down as if weighted down by the heaviest of anvils.

You went back inside, trying to make sense of what just happened. You picked up your phone and saw a text from Max, followed by a picture.

It was a picture of the two of you from earlier, passionately kissing.

‘Wonder what Boyfriend Dearest thought when he saw this picture. You sure you want to sign those papers?’

Fuck. Max had tricked you. He had planned this. He sent Joel the picture.

And then realisation hit. The passive face. The unread texts. Jen’s wedding ring. The suitcases.

He had left you. He had gone back to his wife.

---

The Beginning

[admirationandromantics]

Fast Paced Introduction

Here you go, another one!! Jesus Christ, the last two days in my inbox have been crazy, so please DON'T expect your stuff too soon, alright? Anyways, enjoy some more Chris, I think that's mainly what's in there, lol. Love him <3

Word count: 1,2k (Unedited)

im gonna be annoying af in ur inbox too since u wanna BLAST MINE HAHA Chris with a reader who's like insanely into him at first sight and is like almost Mike levels of flirting after talking for 5 mins i feel like his brain would fry so fast ( its me i have autism and tell people things within an hour of meeting and have no issue being flat with people HA ) -@nerd-space

“And this is Chris, who I’ve told you about” Emily introduces, and I look curiously up at the big blonde. His hair is messy, definitely not styled after he came out of the shower. A pretty smile spreads on his lips, as he lifts his arm, waiting for me to grab it. 

“Nice to meet you” he says, a little dimple on his right chin. Oh god, this man is gorgeous, and Emily didn’t lie about him being my type. His arms are big, probably really muscular under that sweater he’s wearing. I take his hand, making sure not to shake it too hard. His grip is firm, holding just a second too long for my conscience to pick up on it. His watch reflects a little light as he shifts, my eyes going straight to it. A decent one, silver. 

“Nice to meet you too, Emily didn’t mention you wore glasses” I say, immediately beating myself up. Glasses? What’s the point of that? 

“Oh, um, yeah I do” he gets kinda nervous, and I rush to save myself. 

“No, I mean, they look good, like really sexy and all of that. I mean to say that they look good on you, and she mentioned you, just not that and yeah” I babble, and Emily drags me away before I can continue. 

“Girl, I’ve never seen you like that” she smiles, an arm around my shoulders.  

“That’s because we party together, you only see the sexy and flirtatious me”

“Then get some alcohol into your blood, because if you talk like that again, I might have to leave you”

I gasp dramatically, hand going to my heart. 

“You wouldn’t” 

“Oh, but I would” 

The rest of the night goes better, Mike flirting with absolutely anyone, Matt and Ashley talking, and Sam hanging out with someone I’ve never seen before. My confidence is on top again, finally able to put that awkward episode behind me. It was just a small mistake, nothing wrong at all. Considering how hot he is, anyone could’ve made that mistake. It probably happens to him daily. 

He’s standing in a corner with Josh, who I’ve luckily met before, so starting a conversation wouldn’t be out of the ordinary. I walk over, keeping myself steady and lifting my boobs. Just a little. 

“Hey, Joshy!” I greet, and his arms immediately go around me. 

“Eyy, you came! Got a ride with Em, huh?” 

“That’s right” 

He turns to Chris, who has a small smile plastered on his lips. Oh, and he’s cute too. How many things were going to make me like him even more? Josh looks back and forth from us, and I turn my gaze to him. 

“Have you met?” 

“Yeah, Emily took the introduction” I explain, taking another sip of my drink. 

“She did pretty fine by herself as well” Chris laughs, meeting my eyes. Oh, and he is playful too? He’s got no idea what he’s gotten himself into. 

“Well, can’t help myself when he’s exactly my type” I comment, his cheeks reddening. Josh takes a small step back, looking over the blonde. 

“You know what, I hadn’t realised it before, but he is your type” 

“I know, right?” 

“So why aren’t you two in this corner alone, making something happen?” 

“Um, guys, I’m standing right here” Chris interrupts, hand behind his neck as he tries to form the words. 

“Oh, we’re aware” Josh laughs, nudging my arm and taking a few steps away. 

“Can I get you two anything to drink? A glass for the lady, a beer for my bro?” 

“Yes, please!” 

“I’ll be back in a bit!” 

I turn to Chris again, seeing that he’s put down the previous beer. It’s probably empty. I can’t help my stare, eyes going over his arms and fingers. 

“So” I begin, ripping myself from my trance. “How’s the night going?” 

“Well, pretty good so far, it’s a bit hot here though” he says, finger going to the hem of the neck, letting some air in. 

“You know, you could just take it off” I propose, making sure to add a slight suggestive tone. 

“Oh, I wish, but I don’t have anything underneath” 

“Even better” 

His eyes widen, and I realise the gravity of my words again. Wow, how this man makes me fail, I’m usually quite good with words. I give him my glass, which he holds, and start working on his arms. I drag his sweater up, noticing the muscles and veins popping as I do. He’s right, he’s very warm. His skin is burning up, making me want to take off my clothes and snuggle up to him. I do the same with his other arm, all whilst he holds my drink. 

“There you go, a bit better?” 

“Very much, yeah” he smiles, cheeks still bright pink. I think about the way I’ve been behaving, getting to touch and talk to him the way I have. I need to ask the essential question. 

“So, I should probably ask, do you have a girlfriend?” 

“I would have to say no” 

My eyes widen. He doesn’t? How hasn't this gorgeous man been caught yet? 

“What, how come?” 

“I guess it’s just not in the cards” 

“You’ve got to be kidding, right? You’re a hot piece of meat, I’m struggling keeping my clothes on where I stand right now” 

He laughs a little, hand coming up to cover his flushed face. I reach up, taking it away. 

“No, stop, don’t cover yourself. I love you looking like this” 

He stops laughing, our faces closing in as his eyes flutter. Oh gosh, he actually is the cutest man I’ve ever seen in my life. His mouth slightly opens as he’s closing in. 

“In the middle of all of this, I forgot to tell you how beautiful you are” he whispers, thumb caressing my cheek as we draw nearer. 

“Well, judging by how I see you, it bodies me well that you find me attractive” 

He takes hold of my waist, quickly turning us around and making my back slam into the wall. Before I can catch my breath, his lips are on mine, roughly caressing and eating. He knows how to kiss too? This man is a fidget of my imagination, I just know it. 

His hands wander to my waist, resting on my upper hips. I take hold of the back of his neck, nails carefully scratching, making him moan into the kiss. My other hand goes to his sweater, pulling him closer into me. 

“If you’re gonna go for it, get a room, don’t make everyone watch” Josh suddenly says. And we both turn our attention to him. He’s standing there like a lost dog, a couple of drinks in each hand. I take a breath, fixing my hair quickly and reaching over to grab mine. 

“Don’t worry Joshua, and thank you for the drink” 

“Um, yeah, we were just trying something” 

Josh smirks, eyebrows lowered in a sly manner as he leans back. 

“Yeah man, that’s why her lipstick is smeared across your lips and neck” Oh shit, I went for his neck and I didn’t even notice? Maybe I’ve had a couple too many of these. I look down on the red drink, some different liquids mixed. Oh, fuck it. I drink the whole thing in one go, before grabbing Chris’s hand and walking further down the hallway. He turns a little to give Josh a wave. 

“As I said, just trying something!”

[aishangotome]

Luke & Gilbert's Story of Reminiscence [The Day We Became a Fake Family] - Part 2

Part 1

Gilbert: ...Why did I stop the war...?

The still young boy, with his verdant eyes that should have been clear, glared at the one-eyed youth with a stagnant gaze.

Even under the sharp gaze that seemed to be accusing, lashing out, the youth's smile didn't falter.

Gilbert: It's true that if we had continued the invasion, we could have conquered Rhodolite.

Gilbert: But Obsidian would have lost a lot too.

Luke: ...No way. Rhodolite couldn't fight back at all.

Gilbert: In the area where you were, yes. But in other battlefields, we were also taking quite a beating.

Gilbert: The country of roses and art is also a country of knights.

Gilbert: Rhodolite's noble beasts would surely resist until the very end, wouldn't they?

Gilbert: If that happened, the damage to Obsidian would continue to increase.

Gilbert: To the point where it wouldn't be worth the price of acquiring a small country.

Luke: ..............

Gilbert: Besides, I like Rhodolite.

Gilbert: I want to obtain it as a beautiful country with blooming roses, not a scorched land.

Gilbert: Continuing the war wouldn't benefit me. That's why I used my authority as Marshal to command the retreat.

Gilbert: His Majesty the Emperor also suddenly disappeared from the battlefield...?

Luke: ...But...

Gilbert: Luke.

He poked the boy's nose with his finger, who couldn't hide his dissatisfaction.

Gilbert: Revenge only has meaning when you carry it out yourself.

Gilbert: What good would it be if I crushed the Rhodolite you hate in your place?

Luke: ......

Gilbert: Do you hate them that much?

Luke: ...I hate them.

Luke: That country, I hope it perishes.

Luke: If you won't destroy it, I will someday.

Luke: Everything... everything...!

His face, twisted with tears and hatred, was so terrifying that even the doctor standing nearby gasped.

Gilbert: Hehe, I'm looking forward to it.

Gilbert: It seems there are a lot of things I need to teach you.

-

Gilbert: Another one, please.

Luke: Huh?

Gilbert: I can't seem to get full.

Luke: ...Seriously?

In a corner of the honey candy specialty shop that was currently the talk of Rhodolite, there was a table with a mountain of plates piled up.

While attracting the attention of the staff and other customers, Gilbert added even more plates to the stack.

Luke: Are you planning to devour everything in this store?

Gilbert: I hope I can get full by eating everything... Ah, waiter, can I get another?

Luke: ...What are you going to do if we get banned from this place because of you?

Gilbert: Sorry.

Luke: This isn't something you can apologize for. That's why I didn't want to bring you along.

Gilbert: You like this place that much?

Luke: It's the shop that knows the most about honey in all of Rhodolite.

Gilbert: Hmm? Their sweets are certainly delicious.

Luke: Do you even know how to appreciate taste? You're just downing the sweets like drinks.

Gilbert: Don't be silly, I'm savoring them properly. Because they're Luke's favorite, you know?

Luke: ...Not that again.

Gilbert: Not what again?

Luke: The "like" this and that...

Gilbert: It's important.

Luke: Makes no sense. It's like you're...

Luke: ...trying to make me say "I like Rhodolite" today, you're that persistent.

Gilbert: Yep, you got it.

Luke: What kind of harassment is this?

Gilbert: Don't be silly, if it were harassment, would it end with something this cute?

Luke: ..............

Gilbert: I'm not scheming, that's the truth.

Luke: ...Who knows.

Gilbert: You have no faith in me.

Luke: In the first place, what about you?

Gilbert: Hm?

Luke: Do you like Obsidian?

At that casual question, Gilbert, who hadn't stopped eating until then, froze.

Gilbert: I've never thought about it. That's an interesting question.

Luke: ...You're pretty blunt when asking other people.

Gilbert: Hehe, that's true...

It didn't seem like he intended to brush it off, and a thoughtful silence fell.

Luke: Was it that difficult of a question?

Gilbert: Unlike you, I want to be honest with myself.

Gilbert: Hmm... To start with, I don't love anything, and I don't like anything either.

Gilbert: But on top of that, there are things I like and dislike about Obsidian.

Luke: Is that even an answer?

Gilbert: It can't be helped, can it? There's no other country as extreme as Obsidian.

Gilbert: You should understand what I'm trying to say.

Luke: ...Yeah, I guess.

-

Gilbert: I'm home, Luke.

A few months after the Day of the Bloodstained Roses, the one-eyed youth would occasionally visit the boy, who had started living in a hideout, have idle chatter, and then leave.

Luke: You...

However, this day was different.

Gilbert: Ah, sorry. But don't worry.

Gilbert: It's all someone else's blood.

.

.

.

Part 3

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[drdemonprince]

Thanks for talking about child sexual abuse and child sexuality. I have some clear and many hazy memories of abuse as a child. I was also sexually active at the age of 7 or 8. By that I mean my friend and I engaged in sexual activity on a regular basis. I believe she was being abused by her dad although she never told me that it was something I always had a sense of even that young. Anyway we didn’t feel that what we were doing was wrong as such, but there was one time in particular that my big brother almost caught us and I was terrified he would tell my parents. But aside from other people knowing we had no shame around it and how we felt about it and I’ve always felt kinda neutral looking back on it. But I have always been curious as to how that began and why. I don’t remember the details of how two 7 year old girls decided to get into bed together or what other conversations we had. But it did feel completely natural and fine at the time. It wasn’t until I was much older I started to realize that other kids that age weren’t into those same things. I first had sex with a boy at 13. I was a super slutty teen. Had the reputation around that. Didn’t have shame around that either. Was actually kinda proud of it. But I do think I equated sex with my worth as a human and thats probably tied to what I was taught as a child. That has been something that’s kinda haunted me my whole life.

Anyway I don’t know how this tracks with what you’re saying but it’s nice to be able to say these things somewhere and not feel like a freak. Being abused is one thing to deal with. Having sex at such a young age is more of a taboo and something no one talks about.

Thank you for sharing, Anon. It sounds like you and your friend were able to have positive, exploratory experiences together that offered a hell of a lot more safety and agency to her than the abuse going on in her life. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, the only issue is the societal stigma surrounding it.

And beyond that, some kids are just sexual earlier than others. I have a cis, straight female acquaintance who used to gather around all the neighborhood boys and "play married" (as she called it) by asking them to let her suck their dicks. She has no clue where she got the idea, but it was all completely initiated by her and she has no negative feelings about having done it.

It might be *weird* to hear about, but if anything I wish that more women's first sexual debuts were that harmless, playful, and pleasant as that seems to have been for her.

Of course, there's an entire cultural backdrop that makes sexual exploration far more fraught and outright dangerous for children, and some kids' motives for exploring sexuality are patriarchal values, insecurity, and abuse, and that complicates things. But shaming children or treating them as defective for having interest in this massive aspect of human life does nothing to benefit them. We seem to be very very far culturally from being able to speak about this candidly, farther away from it than perhaps we've ever been in my lifetime anyway.

[wlwsoccerfics]

Communication is Key (Sydney LohmannxGwinnReader!)

(Part 2 of Knocked Out)

Warnings: mentions of epilepsy, mental health struggles, relationship arguements

It has been 2 months since you had to give up your soccer career. It sucked and you still weren't over it. But now there was no secret in the way of you moving in with Sydney. Honestly there was no way that she would let you live on your own and neither was your sister Giulia. The two and your friends have learned how to deal with your epilepsy and what to do in case of an emergency. And now you were an Assistent Coach for the team. It wasn't the same as playing and being so close to the field still stung a bit but it was better then anything else you could have imagined for yourself. You also apologized for your behavior because snapping at the people that love and care about you isn't it. Probably wasn't gonna be the last time though. Cause you are only human.

Sydney walked to her car with you. Holding hands. You always were a Passanger princess so the fact that you weren't allowed to drive with your health issues wasn't bothering you at all. "Did you take your meds, babe?" She asked you. "Yes my love. Don't worry about me. Things are fine!" You told her but of course she was gonna worry. It was her duty as your girlfriend. And in all honesty you always were worried about her as well when she wasn't feeling so great. Even when it was just a cold. That what love is all about, caring about the other Person. "I am gonna worry no matter what! Cause you are the love of my life! You are stuck with me!" Sydney answered with a smile. "Is this a threat?" You asked jokingly and pulled her close. "Just kidding, you are the love of my life too. I sincerly believe what we have is for forever!" You told her, kissing her softly. She kissed you back before opening the car door for you. You thank her and sat down in the passenger seat. She closed it and walked around the car to get into the drivers seat. "For the record i sincerly believe what we have is for forever as well!" Sydney replied and started the car. You put on some music, connecting your Phone to the Bluetooth of the car. The two of you drove in comfortable silence, Sydneys hand resting on your knee for the most part of the 15 minute car ride.

You walked inside together once Sydney parked her car. You two kissed eachother before going your seperate ways. She got changed while you went to meet up with Alex to have a little chat about today's practice. "Hey y/n!" He said. "Hey Alex! So last practice before the game against Wolfsburg. Which we need to win! It's important that we work on standards cause those will be really important. Given that is how we can Score since out of the usual Play it will be hard to get even slightly close to the goal or even make it into their half of the field." You said and he chuckled softly. He appreciated how focused you were and how important this all was to you. Even though you had to give up playing.

At the same time with most of the team getting changed...

Giulia was talking to Sydney about you. Being the concerned big sister she always was. "Syd is she actually okay? I feel like she is not actually dealing with the situation. It has me worried. The fact that she said 'no' to therapy after her dreams were crushed. And the fact that she tried to hide it from us before...i don't think she is dealing with it like she should!" Your sister told your girlfriend. "I do think the same sometimes. But she always keeps promising that things are fine!" Sydney stated. "Maybe we should try and talk to her together!" Giulia suggested. Lea who was sitting next to them, putting her hair into a ponytail. "Guys she might think that it's an intervention if you try to sit her down to talk about that! I mean it is ... but still...she might be even more closed off if you go on about it like that. It needs to be in a more causal way!" Lea told them. "Yes, listen to Lea! I am not a child and i decide when i need therapy...no one else!" You said from the doorway of the changing room. all eyes were on you now. "Babe..." Sydney tried to talk to you but you were quite upset so you stopped her, holding your hand up. "I don't want to hear it, Sydney! You two just could have talked to me when we would hang out with one another and make it sound like you are just checking in and not discussing my business at work. In front of our friends! I am so upset and angry with both of you! Sydney and Giulia!" They knew they messed up because you never used their legal names. It was always: Syd, Babe, Baby, SydBear or something cute like that. For Giulia it was always : Giuli, G, Sis, Things like that. Neither of them had the chance of saying anything else. Because you left. Walking towards your office on Bayern Campus.

Your head was pounding and you didn't feel great at all after that argument or confrontation whatever you wanted to call it. Tears in your eyes. You couldn't even see where you were going at this point, which is why you almost ran into Lena who just got back from physiotherapy. She quickly stopped you. "Y/n? What's wrong?" She asked. "Lena?... Nothing, well...i had an argument with Syd & my sister! They talked about my mental health in front of the entire team. I hate that they talk behind my back about me that way!" You explained to her. She opened her arms to offer you a hug which you gladly took. Stepping into her arms. "They just worry about you! We all do! You mean so much to us! Especially to Syd & Giuli! Your sister loves you so much and would do whatever for you and Syd is so madly in love with you that she still blushes when someone mentions your name." Lena told you. "I know Obi i know. Maybe i was a bit unfair but since they knew about my diagnosis they watch me like Hawks. And sometines when Syd does it then it feels like she is my Care Giver and not my girlfriend! I Love both of them too! With all of my Heart and Sydney for sure is the love of my life!" You told your friend. "Maybe talk to them about how you feel?" Obi suggested as the two of you let go of eachother. "Good Idea! Thank you, Obi! Means alot to me!" Lena smiled at you. "That's what friends are for!" She answered. The two of you said your 'see you later' and that you would soon meet on the field. You just had to grab something from your office.

You sat down in your office chair, opening your Laptop to print Out some statistics. A knock on the door interrupted you though. "Yes? Please come in!" You said and looked up from your laptop. Both Giulia and Sydney walked in, looking like kicked puppies. "Can we Talk?" Your sister asked which you agreed to with a nod of your head. "Please sit." You told them. Giulia sat down on one of the chairs that stood in front of your desk Sydney sat down in your lap. "I am sorry, Angel face!" Your girlfriend whispered out, kissing your cheeks gently. "That's mean, Syd! I am trying to be mad at you!" You replied but couldn't help yourself, you just have to smile. "I am sorry as well, sis!" Giulia told you. "Fine i forgive the two of you! But please next time you are worried just talk to me! It has been two weeks since my last seizure and it was a minor one! Just an absence seizure. I get that you worry! I worry about the two of you as well when you get hurt or are not feeling well. But maybe we start to communicate better? Cause i really want things to be normal between us! And not like i am a helpless toddler. You worry more than Mom & Dad!" You explained, altough your parents do worry alot and you know they often would asked Giulia about how you are doing. Sometimes they would also call Syd to get an update on you cause you often would just say you are fine so they wouldn't worry. It was a circle of emotions really. "We are sorry! We both gonna try to be more chill, right Giuli?" Sydney promised you. "Yes right!" She agreed, nodding her head softly. "Good! And i promise i will also talk to my therapist about everything that happened in the last couple of months." You just wanted to let them know that you were dealing with it in a healthy way!

Around a month later Sydney proposed to you after they won the Champions League finale. Which of course you said yes to.

The following summer you got married, your teammates, families & some friends were there to celebrate with the two of you.

You officially were y/n Lohmann now and you couldn't be happier about it.

(There will be a part three and maybe a Part four)

[haikyu-mp4]

The Comedians

word count; 937 – f!reader, part 2 of this

Tendo held the door for you and gestured with his arm like a classic gentleman. His smile made you chuckle in adoration while you looked at the sign that stood beside him: Open mic comedy night, it said. What a coincidence.

"You can go find us a seat and I'll get us something to drink," Tendo said and walked over to the barista, trying not to show how excited and nervous he was.

The atmosphere was warm and light. You and Tendo both had rosy cheeks and conversed lightly. Every topic flowed so naturally like you were catching up on your entire lives even though the topics were simple things like what you got up to recently. At some point, two guys walked in, and you felt curious when Tendo lifted a hand in greeting. "Hey!" the grey-haired one called and walked over. They did a quick handshake before his eyes fell on you with amusement glittering in his eyes.

"Semi-Semi, I didn't expect to see you here today," Tendo said, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets and leaning back in his chair. You had a feeling they were close friends.

"I'd like to say the same to you, but that would be a lie. You, however," Semi said, turning to the unfamiliar woman accompanying his old teammate. He held out a hand, and you shook it with a wide smile. "You must be y/n. Tendo told me about you, from the library?" Semi wanted to take full advantage of the situation as his friend's ears got redder and redder. Tendo exclaimed sounds of complaint at the comment but made no move to deny it.

"That's me, y/n from the library. Semi-semi, was it?" You, amused by their friendly teasing, tried to hide how flustered you felt by playing along. Y/n from the library, you nailed that, you sarcastically praised yourself. Semi nodded right as the lights in the cafe dimmed and the small stage lit up.

"Just Semi, preferably. Nice meeting you, y/n. We’ll talk more later; it looks like the event is starting."

The first few young adults daringly tried to win the stage with their humour, telling stories that ended with a funny punchline or making comments about the people in the room who interacted. You and Tendo laughed and commented to each other about what you liked and didn't like, sometimes even adding jokes in between and trying to keep your laughter silent. The last person left the stage, and the microphone stood there, lonely and desperate for some good, or bad jokes.

"Go on, Tendo. Steal the stage," you encouraged, gesturing with your hand.

"Ah, it would be unfair to the others when I'm so naturally funny," he said, and you giggled in response, shoving his shoulder lightly.

"What if we both go?" Tendo looked at the beautiful woman beside him with an unplaceable emotion in his eyes.

"Together?" he asked, making a bold move by grabbing your hand from the table between you and standing up. "We'll go next!" Tendo yelled out, making all the other students clap and whistle.

However, no one could have prepared the audience for the show they were about to see. You and Tendo took turns saying terrible dad-like jokes before taking a few seconds between each one to laugh loudly like two windshield wipers in a rainstorm. "How do lawyers say goodbye? We'll be suing you!"

"What's an astronaut's favourite part of a computer? The space bar!"

You leaned on each other for support and almost forgot anyone was watching. Semi certainly did, with an incredulous look on his face after taking a short video to send in the group chat later. "This is so embarrassing, they're perfect for each other," he said to himself, shaking his head as the duo finally stumbled off the stage while drying your tears.

You sat down by your table again and heaved heavy breaths to try and stop giggling. However, it only took one look at each other's faces to start the laughter factory up again, which is why you decided to leave and get some fresh air. "I can't breathe!" you exclaimed into the night and finally ceased laughing. Not only is he incredibly handsome, but also perhaps the funniest person I've ever met.

"We make a good duo, don't we?" Tendo thought out loud, glancing at your pretty face. You sat down on a park bench by the cafe, arms brushing against each other.

"I don't think the audience was impressed," you admitted while rubbing your hands for warmth. Tendo saw this and decided, that now was the moment. He lifted the arm closest to you and let it fall across your shoulders, which automatically made you lean closer to him.

I always wanted to try that, he thought and smiled.

You sat there for a while, just looking at the sky and enjoying each other's company, but the cold eventually got to you, and you had to walk back to the cafe. As Tendo opened the door, you laughed once again and said, "A clown held a door open for me the other day. I thought, what a nice jester".

The joke made Tendo realise how smitten he already was, and he had the sudden urge to lean down and kiss you. So he did. It was a short peck on the cheek, but meaningful nonetheless. You both enjoyed the rest of the evening, talking to some other students, including Semi. He kept watching you and his friend looking at each other like he had only read about in books.

The Schoolyear Series ║ masterlist

[minniesmutt]

     I know I’m a few days late to talk about this, but I still want to. I also want other’s opinions on this, and I do have a poll going for the week to see what others say, but regarding Stray Kids Offical Fan Club, as an international stay, it is not worth it in my personal opinion.

     I have seen other stays on social media talk about this as well and why they won’t be getting the fan club this year. I have only been a stay since January of 2023. So, I can only speak about the fan club from last year and not the year before. But I did want to share this in case I’m weirdly the only person you ever see talk about this or value my opinion in some way (please don’t; that’s a lot of responsibility on me, and most of my opinions come off as asshole-y)

     Most of what I have gathered as to why I-Stays are upset or not getting the fan club is as follows: pricing, lack of benefits, and difficulties with yes24.

     Starting with yes24, it is a little hard to navigate, especially if your device is translating it to your native language since not every language can share the same words/phrases when translating from one to another. Sometimes, I have to fill in the blanks in my head when translating from Korean to English on the site, so it makes sense in my head. But that’s not the main reason I’m seeing issues.

     Many I-stays are having payment issues. When they enter their card information, they get a lot of error pop-ups saying something is wrong—yes24 also will not let you use PayPal or any other payment site to pay—and I will admit I remember having this problem last year with the 4th-gen fan club, Stay Hideout. Along with the payment issues, overseas shipping for the kit is 2-3x as much as the kit. Now, the kit is a small box with photo cards, a photo book, ID badges, and lots of other little goodies that (at least for me) kinda just sit on our shrines/displays. The box is about $25 USD, and from what I remember, I paid about $80 last year.

     Some people may think, “$80 isn’t too bad. I’d pay that for all that stuff!”. And if you have the money to spend that, I applaud you for having your finances sorted out like that. Not everyone can afford that.  But Stays are also promised other perks within Fan Club. Part of that is Exclusive FANS content and concert perks—from what I have read, presale codes, fan club ticket prices, and stay zone. From my personal experience, I only got full FAN access— community posts, commenting, interacting with the boys, etc.— and the kit. I did not have presale codes for the tour— my stop is in May— and from what other stays have said on SM, there is nothing for those of us with the membership at the concerts like there is for K-stays. Paying way more in just shipping to receive fewer benefits because we live farther.

     FANS are a whole other thing. If you don’t know and are wondering why I said “full FANS access,” that is because last year when FANS first launched, everyone, fan club or not, could comment on the community. This had led to —I did not see this happening, but I did see the message JYPE decided to put out regarding this— hate being directed towards the boys on the public forum. JYPE then changed everything and made it so that you could only really do anything on there if you had a fan club membership. This did upset a few baby stays, from what I saw, who did want to interact but had joined the fandom after the recruitment period. The “exclusive content” they told us we would get was BTS photos and photos for their birthdays. Then, they would get shared by other stays not long after they were posted.

     Yes, you could sign up for events, but most of them are live, and not everyone can drop everything and get on a plane to Korea to participate in these events. Looking back, there were a few streaming events for their albums last year, and that was it. But those were then posted on the x/twitter account. So it wasn’t “exclusive”

     And with FANS, the only ones actively engaging with stay are Hyunjin, Seungmin, and I.N. Chan and Changbin for a day, Felix and Lee Know are very rarely there. Han posted one thing, and he was never heard from again on FANS. I (personally) would rather pay for their bubble subscriptions than have FANS access.

     Now, if you are okay with all this as an I-Stay, go ahead and buy that membership, babes! If you read this and go, “What the fuck?” I’m with you. I-stays are in the background as they cater to k-stays and j-stays, which I understand. Stray Kids is a Korean boy group first, and they do have Japanese albums and debuts (I do how that all works; I just see J-stays getting better perks than other i-stays, i.e., dome tour), so the company does focus on them more. But a lot of us I-stays are there for the streaming events. We are a very large part of their fan base, and we all know if they could do more for us, they would. Skz does not know us, but they do love us. If you just like having all their merch and stuff, it might be worth it in that aspect, but it's up to you. I just wanted to share what I saw and what I felt.

TLDR: Pay too much for two things and skz are barely active on the community app so it’s not worth it in my opinion.

[city-tickles]

Giving and Receiving some End Of The Year Tickles!

Hi!

It was the end of the year and I had a rough month, so I wanted to close out my December with some tickling fun at one of the parties in NYC. Here's what happened.

First, I got a pedicure because that was long overdue. It normally isn’t that ticklish, but I definitely let out a grunt or two during the scrubbing lol

(What a great pic this is lol)

I got to the party early, which is good because even though they were still setting up, people were already getting their girls. The girls I wanted from last time were already busy; unfortunately, that’s how it stayed the entire night. Luckily, I ran into this girl named Kat, a beautiful l, slender Black and Hispanic woman. I recognized her from last time because I remember her loud laugh from when she was getting tickled.

I approached her and we started talking. She asked me what I was into and told her tickling. Her eyes darted back as she was not in a tickling mood. She let me know she hadn’t done a tickling session in a long time. Then she recognized me as the person who brought stocks to these parties. I let her know that if it helped, I also enjoyed being a lee. Her eyes lit up as a mischievous grin came upon her face. She was intrigued because she didn’t usually get to tickle someone at these parties. 

At these parties, there isn’t a lot of space, because other sessions are going on next to you so at first there wasn’t a room. Thankfully, we found a spot to play and she assigned roles. I put on a blindfold and since we were trapped under a protective sheet, She was the “spider” and I was the “caterpillar” in her web. Before we started, she had me take a deep breath in and out a few times. Then the last time. she started tickling when I started taking them, which made me laugh while inhaling and exhaling. She started going through all my spots, taunting me the entire way, commenting on how ticklish I was and how sensitive the spots were as I laughed my head off. 

Then, she had me raise my arm up one by one, and spider tickled from my hands down to to my armpit and attacked there. I wish I could tell you everything she was saying because she was a 100% a trash talking ler. Teasing every reaction and asking if I was ticklish there in certain spots and pretending to be shocked. 

She also tried some of my tools on me which included @ticklingduck’s little device and his big scalp device on my feet, legs and knees. After that, she went full on scribble attack on my sides and ribs and underarms where I’m laughing so hard. We found out we were laughing too hard because the manager told us to take it to the back of the room because we were drawing too much attention lol

After she finds a spot for us, I pack up my tools (which were a lot), grab my coat and walk to the back where we can play some more. To save time, I had to put my shoes on with no socks. It was very brief but also a tiny fantasy of mine to be vulnerable to be tickled that way

We get to the back and she puts me in the stocks. This time we don't use a blindfold because she wants me to see what she is going to do me. This was a bigger test for me because I think I react better when I don't see what's going on. She had me do the breathing technique again while scribbling all over my feet, which caused me to laugh and made her only tease me on. "C'mon! It's just breathing." After that she really worked on my feet with a variety of tools, the TicklingDuck scalp massager and other device, the vibrating feather, flossing ostrich feathers between my toes, her OWN HEELS and of course scribbling with her fingers and spelling out her name on my soles.

One of the things she did before we moved places was ask me questions that I would've had no idea what the answer was because never discussed it! First she asked me what her favorite color was, which I knew the answer, then she asked me what her other favorite color was, which I didn't know and she tortured my upperbody some more. She continued this, asking what her favorite animal was, and tickling more when I tried to figure out the answer. 

All while she continued to tease me as the caterpillar caught in her web. 

She then gave me a break and told me to check out how much I was sweating, which us both laugh, before going back to it. She used the vibrating feather device on my knees and a little on my upperbody before focusing more on my upperbody with her fingers. She attacked my sides, tummy and underarms vigoruosly all while teasing how ticklish I was and saying "Tickle tickle tickle" along with otther silly but cute noises and phrases, loving every mninute of it. 

After that, she gave me even more suprises when she began to spider tickle my palms and was surprised they were ticklish. She didn't stay there long, but she continue to spider tickle down my arm trying to get to my armpits, but kept stopping along the way because she found some ticklish parts I didn't even know about. She got to my biceps and OMG were they sensitive! I am not a super fit person so I don't really think about my biceps but they quickly moved up to a top ticklish spot because it was almost unbearable to have her nails dance along that area while she giggled and told me she loved finding new spots that people didn't know.

Then she began gently tickling my neck and chest (another spot that I didn't know was THAT ticklish) before digging into my underarms further driving me crazy. After givin my upperbody and feet a few more attacks, she asked me all the questions again, which I got the answers right, except for another one that wasn't in our conversation, which made her torture me some more before she let me out the stocks and have a break.

As I caught my breath, we got to know each other more and talk tickles. We had some time left, so she told me she would let me tickle her feet, but fingers only. The reason she was reluctant before was she had some lers that went too far and did not participate in any aftercare or concern for her, so it turned her off leeing for a bit. I was very grateful and appreciative she would give me the chance, so I made sure not to take advantage.

I took her heels off and put her cute, tiny feet in my lap. I complimented her dark blue pedicure, which she appreciated because others thought it was a different color. Then I began to gently scribble on her soles, which already had her jumping, screaming and snorting. Rather than ask her questions, I would talk with her and use that as part of a reason to tickle her. For example, she went on vacation recently, so I would ask her about the trip, and say things like, "It's good to relax. Put your feet on the grass. I bet it felt something like this" and then would gently tickle to simulate feet on grass.

I continued to do this with every answer she gave me. One part, where we sped things up was I found out she was into metal music, so I would scribble up and down her soles and under her toes pretending to do fast songs or spell out an artists name. Each time she would laugh loudly, swearing, snorting and making cute noises.

At one point, I found out her right foot as more ticklish than her left one, so I gave her a choice which one for me to tickle, she said the left one and expected the right immediately, but I went for the left. She told me, "I thought you were gonna go for the right!" And I replied, "I'm a man of my word, but if you want me to! I will!" Then started to attack her right foot, as she tried to get away, but I had her in a gentle ankle lock, so she wasn't able to move!

I did this sporadically for 20 minutes since she needed breaks every few minutes. During those breaks, I'd gently caress her feet and legs and make sure she was feeling okay, and reassuring that she's doing an awesome job. Eventually, our time was up and we talked about how much fun we had, and how we would definitely do it again in the future.

She is in NYC and does sessions and doesn't mind getting a shoutout, so if that is something you are interested in, especially if you are lee leaning, let me know and I will tell you who she is. If you are a ler, she might not be as eager yet.

Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed the story!