#mintakablue speaks

[mintakablue]

rarely do i comment on posts directly, but i definitely felt this as a grad student who Absolutely did not have the support net. despite going to grad school in-state for a program that lasted nine months and receiving a stipend from my school... i still had to take out student loans, rack up some credit card debt, and use everything i had saved from three years worth of previous jobs.

i went to grad school in one of the most expensive cities in the united states. we went to a conference early on in a different state and the school only provided us a stipend of $500 for a flight, hotel, and transportation. other students were in a similar boat as me or worse off: with unstable living situations, scrounging up money from freelancing or trying to score paid internships, making tough choices about budgeting for food and travel.

but even in our relatively small cohort, other students seemed to put on the airs of poverty, complaining alongside us about the cost of groceries, living, and gas. still, those students managed to pay for vacations to other countries over the break. took expensive additional classes unrelated to our curriculum. paid for bills with nary a drop of sweat. in retrospect, it does seem like they felt like we were all in the same boat, that if things got REALLY hard, we all could just embarrass ourselves temporarily and ask someone for money--when in reality, most of us needed to do extra work to earn what we needed.

i cannot fault these people, young people like myself, for living their lives with the money they had. lord knows i could fall back on my savings and occasionally splurge for temporary luxuries. but like you said, the perception they had of themselves--as people scraping by, like the rest of us--was divorced from reality in a way i struggled to understand. i think your post articulated a lot of it though so i'm sharing my experience and also saying thanks for talking about it. i felt kind of isolated as a grad student still paying off so much of my debt; like i had somehow failed to acquire enough scholarships or earn grants. but understanding that other people had more of that financial safety net made me stop moralizing about not having the same resources they did.

it's so funny how influencer types are like My Day As A Working Artiste Creative Type, by which they mean that they do artiste creative work and it's completely irrelevant to the source of the money they live off, which is their parents

[mintakablue]

hi guys i need some cash

hi everyone (laying flat on the ground) i have to move to a Fairly expensive place for my work and application fees are high + i unexpectedly had to pay for a car fix and insurance fuckup (to the tune of $450 altogether.)

if you like my stuff or ever laughed at my silly audio edits or whatever and you wanna support me, i would really appreciate a couple bucks. i know everyone is kinda strapped for cash and there are many other things to throw your money at but any help would be appreciated.

or if you wanna commission me for art or music or writing or editing you can DM me or email at requinamour@gmail.com

paypal

venmo: mintakablue

[mintakablue]

it's sooo awesome living with your partner and getting to just go to the other room and hug and kiss them

[mintakablue]

i have been bouncing around the idea of doing a fandub of be kind my neighbor which would also necessitate actually figuring out what wegg's songs sound like so this is... kind of a demo? for what this song sounded like to me

i definitely want to lean a little more seventies with the other songs while i'm trying to put chords onto them, but the phrase here just had a specific sound to me already so i ended up writing the rest of the melody around it. but i actually need to settle on what the fingerpicking pattern is haha

[mintakablue]

thanks for the tag :)

here's like 10 that i actually feel like i actively listen to and aren't just showing up when i shuffle stuff HAHA

flight of the crows - jhariah

freakin' u out - antarctigo vespucci

G.I.N.A.S.F.S. - fall out boy

badillac - together pangea

desolation row - mcr

my full moon - minimall

honeymoon with b troop - 10cc

we will commit wolf murder - of montreal

skin a rat - SASAMI

admire the architecture - the scary jokes

okie dokie tagging whoever sees this and wants to do it :)

tagged by @batemanofficial to post my on repeat playlist <3

1. some rotten man - the taxpayers

2. no more tears - ajj

3. famous last words - mcr

4. welcome to paradise - green day

5. introduction to the snow - miracle musical

6. medicines - the taxpayers

7. american idiot - green day

8. emily orphan - local news legend

9. milk crates - pigeon pit

10. bang bang - green day

tagging: @thegayestpossum @happi-tree @mintakablue @genderless-ghost

[mintakablue]

i hate experiencing gender dysphoria!!! i hate being born into a body that is incapable of being perceived the way that i want to be perceived no matter what i do. i am kind to my body and happy that it can do the things i need it to do but i wish that everyone who looked at me wasn't instantly primed to assume so much about me based on how i look, regardless of how i dress or if i'm on hormones or if i practice walking a certain way or whatever. it's actually maddening!!!!!!!!

[mintakablue]

i'm always like mildly sad that i am Not So Great at the art mediums people like to engage with the most. my heart is always in audio/podcast and writing and people just do not care about that as much as like webcomics and animation... but idk i am not very good at sequential art but i feel like i'm pretty good at what i do. but then it's like. well shrug nobody engages with that or pays it any attention.

[mintakablue]

it's still crazy to me that the emo trinity mashup audio post that i made still gets comments of people being like "this stupid fucking bitch who made this mashup has no musical creativity or effort and literally could never make music that sounds good"

like. hi first of all you're literally commenting on my post and i can see when you say mean things to me. second of all that's not a nice thing to say on what's clearly a joke post. third of all could a bitch with no effort audiobash patrick stump saying the dialogue in that post

[mintakablue]

motherfucker i NEED a job can someone hire me already

[mintakablue]

happy birthday to me and to the caesar salad

[mintakablue]

a little to say on the previous article i reblogged but these are just personal musings on trans women, friendships, and telling on yourself when you stereotype others

i'm consistently surprised by the difficulty people seem to have with not categorizing trans women as a monolith, but i suppose i shouldn't be so surprised when like... i dunno. feminist thought seems to have been receding for the last like decade which is a real shame.

truth be told my own friends who are trans women/transfeminine tend to fall into the category described in the autostraddle article referenced: d&d enthusiasts, gamers, nerdy types who may or may not frequent kink events. i also have trans women friends who fall outside of this category but i think my noticeably smaller field of transfeminine friends interested in high fashion and more traditionally feminine activities is because of my own reticence to engage with those. it's those parts of femininity i have just had very little interest in for my entire life.

so to some degree i'm always aware that the stereotypes someone draws on say more about the person stereotyping. this is the limited pool of women you have interacted with so All Women Must Be This Way.

part of me felt a little hurt on behalf of my trans women friends who do fall into the stereotype described, if only because whenever people scramble to say "not all of us are like that!" the people who are like that catch the stray bullet of fulfilling the stereotype... but i think that's because i also fit the stereotype of afab nonbinary people (you know, excluding being white and thin LMFAO) so i think i'm always mildly sensitive to what is presented as a stereotype when it can be a lived experience.

although also, the stereotype of trans women among chasers is also rather different than this! i do think "dolls" tend to get targeted more by chasers for their closeness to "perceived appropriate femininity." not to say all trans women aren't being fetishized, but the newer wave is a little bit more difficult to catch, especially when they are in queer spaces and have different perceptions of what's easier to target

[mintakablue]

at a flea market recently i saw a beanie baby i used to own and was extremely fond of. even though it was only $1 to take it home, i felt purchasing it would have felt like replacing its memory. i don't know exactly what this says about me but waving goodbye to it still felt pleasant, like we'd seen each other, asked about how our lives had been, and parted ways, still as dear old friends.

[mintakablue]

got a ticket for mcr in SF. you know i'm about to look SILLAY trying to see during that concert but WHATEVER i'm there for the vibes

[mintakablue]

i really need to behave like my ocs are famous already because THEY’RE LITERALLY IN PUBLISHED WOORRRKKKS please go listen to under the electric stars and the sound of your name and worth weight in gold and other apn things. i need to talk about my ocs so bad

[mintakablue]

"can't cry on t" FALSE at least for me i squeeze out tears literally any time any place i cry about anything and everything. crybaby testosterone takers rise

[mintakablue]

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