#we get a name. we got visuals. we got our savior

[trophygony]

everyone shut the fuck up right now margin of the strange announcement. i'm getting SICK

[beuxwhoyouare]

Wondering

I don’t really remember much. I suppose that was always my biggest weakness. I’m part of a slug-like species of aliens known as Skreats. Our whole species thing is that they want to take over worlds by taking over the dominant species bodies and using their resources to conquer the universe. Blah blah blah I synthesized my whole life being taught that taking over hosts was my job and all I was supposed to do but what if I don’t want to?

I never payed much attention to all those logs and protocols about conquering. I just wanted to be free of Skreat expectations.

One day I left logging seminars and just hid inside my sectors pod shit hangar. I know I wasn’t supposed to but the ships are so comfortable so I just stay in there and hang for hours. Then all the alarms went off in the hangar, we were under attack but I didn’t want to get in trouble for being where I wasn’t supposed to be. I acted like I was supposed to be there and after a few more of us piled into the ship I commenced launch.

The ship was an escape pod automatically routed to vulnerable planets to conquer. We were headed to E Arth? As we tried to navigate through enemy lines we almost made it to our destination before being shot down in the planets atmosphere. I just fell and then it all went black.

When I came back to consciousness there was no ship near me just a hard cold black runway of some kind, I believe they’re known as roads. It was dark but sirens blared through the night heading towards a blaze in the distance. THE SHIP! I presumed the worst and tried to avoid being stomped on by these tall earthlings walking by me. I thought I found a good hiding place a lobby of some sort but that’s when I was spotted.

An earthling calling me and took me into the shelter of some clear glass container. He murmured words of snail and take care of. I think he’s under the assumption I’m one of these earth creatures.

For days he would give me earthy twigs and shreds of vegetables assuming that I would consume them. I admit I tried but they don’t necessarily make sense to me or my Skreat organs.

He invited other earthlings over some nights some he showed me to and others he got close to but before I could see what their interactions were he’d whisk him away to a private room away from me. But I did learn his name, Harrison.

I’d spend my days observing Harrison or the visuals he would put on his wall display of some sort. He called these things movies. So many of the ones we would watch had stories of love or adventure. It widened my desire to not conquer a world even more. Maybe that’s what I wanted to do. But I couldn’t, not stuck in my current tiny form.

I’m thankful Harrison saved me but I’ve got to level up. I decided to navigate my way out of the container, which I could’ve always done but I needed a plan first.

He was cooking his sustenance after coming back home all wet from his human secretions. With his back turned to me I leaped from the counter onto his waistband.

I consider it a species specialty that we Skreats are very pliable. I flattened out to slip under and find my way into Harrison. As I slithered towards his rounded backside, I began infiltrating and my savior began tensing up. He began to moan, mixing between pleasure and panic as he realized this was not a moment of intimacy but something else.

He began to switch hard to panic as he tried to fight my ascent but it was too late. I hauled it through so many tunnels of organs and vasculature until I got to his core. I guess you call it a heart. I began inserting my tendrils into it and began spreading myself through his bloodstream.

Pulse pulse pulse. I could feel his heart pumping and eventually I synced up with it. We were becoming one, my life purpose was finally being achieved. I had other plans though.

After Harrison took his last gasp for air, I began using my new earthling lungs. It felt like I was breathing too hard, wheezing for air that felt so foreign to me. Reading brainwaves to figure out things like movement and basic terms.

I decided to calm down and slow down. I used my new extremities and flexed my fingers as they’re called. I used them to start feeling my corporal form. Harrison’s lower back arched into a muscular bubble of a butt. I used one hand to slowly caress each curve before squeezing the firm but malleable ass. My other hand roaming across Harrison’s inflated arms and chest. He spent time pushing and pulling plates of metal and cables to get all this as I scanned his brainwaves more.

I’m sure this looked erotic to human beings but I was truly using this moment to discover earthlings.

I began to take off the coverings Harrison was wearing to see the anatomy it was hiding. So many curves and swerves I thought as I traced my host body with my hands. This body is feeling a nervous response called arousal I think.

Something is growing down below on my front area. I place one hand under the blue restraining fabric.

Firm but not hard as metal, the appendage was warm and almost inviting me to grab ahold. I used my new hand and began examining but as I examined and moved it around it felt exciting to go back and forth with it in my muscular hand. I took my other hand and explored the hole I entered through. I slid one finger in before slipping another then another one in.

Unhh

A sound came out of my mouth that I did not intend for. Is this also another nervous response? I began to give into the automatic responses and sped up. My stroking because more rhythmic and hard as I slid my hand up the hole in my backside. And before I could examine the responses another one emerged. A moan and a secretion.

First one then another then the appendage kept spurting out pulse after pulse of white viscous liquids. I was out of breathe in my new lungs. But curiosity struck again as I approached the liquid on a nearby wall. I got close to investigate and touched the sticky goo.

Maybe it’s nutritious or maybe a safety response? Hmm the brainwaves for this haven’t hit me yet. Well instincts haven’t led me astray yet. I opened my new mouth and used my new tongue to lick the wall clean. I wonder if this is how all food is acquired. Hmm.

[ofoceansandtombsanew]

if gods exist, they made you perfect

cw. fem!reader, childhood friend au, ace novel spoilers (1st novel), pre-relationship, mutual pining, hurt/comfort, light mentions of child abuse (garp), brief loss in ace's ability to control his powers, reader receives a minor burn

pairing. portgas d. ace x reader

synopsis. not everyone is going to reach for ace's hand but you always will.

notes. a very indulgent idea that has been living rent free in my head since i've had it and now it is your problem. cover comes from frederic edwin church's twilight in the wilderness (1860). blazing red skies and ace simply go hand in hand.

"The Five Elders are gonna have the biggest bitch fit to ever fit," with how Ace blinks up at you in surprise, he must have been really lost in his thoughts. You broaden your smile as you plop down right next to him. "I don't think anyone's ever turned down a Warlord position before. Can't wait to see how your bounty goes up this time."

Ace snorts lightly at your words, lips stretching into half a grin, "yeah, they are not going to like that."

"It definitely doesn't help you kicked that vice admiral's ass, either," you recall the events of your final moments in Sabaody. A definitive mixed bag of.

It was a beautiful country, that much is easy to say. Still it came with more than you were prepared to witness. It's only luck there hadn't happened to be any visiting Celestial Dragons coinciding with your temporary residency. Somehow you have the feeling that things would have surely been messier if their had been.

The stint with Vice Admiral Draw will be messy enough on its own.

"Garp's gonna be so mad when he finds out," Ace shudders at even your mention of his grandfather and you snicker. "What if he comes to Fishman Island for one of his grand lectures?"

"Don't even joke like that," the back of his orange hat thumps against the side of the Spadille with his groan of horror. "I can feel his Fists of Love right now."

You feel the phantom pain yourself. If you're both lucky, the semi-retired marine is busy visiting Luffy on Dawn Island. Maybe it's not that lucky though. It isn't the first time the thought the man is even harsher on Luffy now that Ace has gone ahead and sworn his life to piracy surfaces. It's a thought you push away as quickly as you have it.

Luffy's a strong kid, he's fine.

He has a spirit that is unbreakable.

"That Draw guy deserved to get his ass beat anyway." There is no disagreement to be had with your statement, Ace murmuring something similar. He's a million miles away from where you are, however, miraculously sat on a ship sailing beneath the waves. "Isuka'll be fine," you say suddenly, cursing your inability to ease into the topic gently. "She's strong and she was on our ass since immediately after we got to the Grand Line. She'll be back to chasing us soon enough."

Hopefully.

It isn't something you can say with resolute faith.

The ensign's sense of reality itself had been shattered in its entirety. Being betrayed by the one you believed to be your savior is nothing easy to overcome. You choose to believe a woman as impassioned as the naval officer will. You won't pretend to know where she'll head next.

Perhaps she'll embark on a path that leads her back to the marines. Or maybe she'll become a bounty hunter.

Wherever her journey takes her, you can only hope it is a path with no regrets.

"It would have been weird having a bounty hunter on the ship, anyway," you clumsily attempt to soothe your friend. There is irony in how Ace became your better in terms of comforting those around you when he had been the most argumentative and unfriendly between you. "That sounds like something Luffy would do."

At the sound of Luffy's name, Ace's lips do quirk into something more real. "Yeah, that kid would invite just about anyone on his crew, bounty hunters included."

You chuckle trying to visualize what the young boy's recruitment process will be. Somehow, you doubt his prospective crewmates will have much say in the matter. "Knowing Luffy, they'll probably want to join anyway though. He's convincing like that."

"Yeah," Ace only falls deeper into his thoughts. The silence that follows is even more glum than the depths. Damn it, you curse yourself.

You've never been like Makino, you recall the kind-hearted woman from your youth. She's always been gentle, dove-like in her approach when it came to matters of the heart. Knew exactly the words someone needed to hear and knew exactly how to say it in a way that didn't feel intrusive to the recipient.

That has certainly never been you. If anything, you're more akin to Dadan and her rough expressions of affection.

You hold back a sigh, closing your eyes.

"Alright, I guess this is how we're doing this," you open your eyes at last. Shuffling, you face your friend who makes a sound of surprise at your movement. You aren't a delicate person nor are you someone with the ability to handle matters of the heart with the delicacy it deserves. It's best to handle it clumsily, the only way you know how. "Ace, the stuff with Isuka; that wasn't your fault. And it isn't on you that she didn't want to come with us."

Isuka liked Ace.

It's impossible not to like him.

Even when he was a brat with more anger at the world than he knew what to do with, you liked him. Thought he was the coolest person you'd ever met in your short 10 years of living and wanted him to like you back. You like him even now.

Everyone in the crew joined because they liked Ace the moment they met him. He's darling in how effortless he makes it.

Even a marine as firm in her beliefs as Isuka couldn't let prejudice cloud her judgement when it came to Portgas D. Ace. Begrudging as it may have been, there has always been a mutual admiration for each other in spite of the opposing occupations.

You're like the sun. Equal parts the harsh rays of summer and the gentle beams of early spring. He's whichever the moment calls for. A warmth everyone wants to experience if they're lucky enough to come across it. The gravitational pull of the universe that keeps the planets in the sun's orbit. You're amazing!

"I don't know what the hell that girl needs," rough as the sentence is, your voice is soft. "But whatever it is, she wasn't going to find it with us. That's why she didn't come."

Ace opens his mouth but you don't give him the chance to argue or sweep your concerns away.

"I'm not gonna sit here and lie to your face and say that this won't happen again," it's an ugly truth. One Ace became aware of long before you met him. Regardless, as much as you hate it, you know it'd be unfair to lie to him. "Because it probably will. There's always going to be people who, no matter how hard you reach for them, they aren't going to reach back. And you can't do jack about it.

Hell, sometimes you can't even do jill. But," Ace's brow furrows in time with your words and your heart wrenches. "But," you start once more, the back of your fingers brushing against his wrist. "for every person that won't, there's going to be someone that does." You cup one of Ace's hands in both of yours with all the care one would give glass.

When did these hands get so much bigger than your own?

Still, you lips curl upwards in your nostalgia, the warmth that radiates from him remains the same. You squeeze gently, almost afraid that if you touch him too hard, he'll break.

"And I know for a fact there are a lot of people who are always going to want to hold your hands. Even if the shit does turn into fire," you chuckle at your quick addendum and despite himself, Ace does too. You've always loved hearing him laugh, it's even better when you're the cause. "The crew. Dadan. Magra. Dogra. Luffy," you squeeze again, your thumb carressing the back of his hand. "Me. We love these hands, they're yours."

There's a spark of something in Ace's eyes you can't quite place and it's unexpectedly hard to look him in the eye for some reason. "Heh," you laugh breathlessly. Without meaning to, your grip tightens around his hand. It's warm.

Really warm.

Shit, it's actually getting kinda hot ain't it?

You see the flicker of orange and your and Ace's expressions are well-matched in panic as you realize the source. Sure enough, your hands were engulfed flames.

"Shit-" Ace swears but despite instinct dictating you back away from the flames, you find yourself holding on to staunchly.

"Shit-" you fight against Ace's attempt to pull away from you as the flames die down. "[First]! Let go!"

"No way, what did I just say?!" Oh god this hurts like hell! "I don't care if it's fire, I'm not letting go!"

You hiss through your teeth, reeling yourself in with a breath but the flames are extinguished as quickly as they erupted. "Wasn't exactly expecting to prove my point so fast but," there's another attempt on Ace's part to pull away from you again but you only hold his hand tighter. You can ignore the sting of your hands but you can't ignore the way Ace's eyebrows knit together. You can't ignore how he looks like he wants to cry either. "See," you laugh breathlessly. "I love these hands, there's no way I'm never gonna hold them.

Dark eyes, wide, look between you and your face and you squeeze his hand again. The sting of your palms is prevalent but this pain is fine. Pain is merely proof that you are alive in this moment; and in this moment there is nowhere else you want to be.

There's nothing more that needs to be said between you, you believe. Facing him, you lean against the wood as you hold Ace's hand firmly between your own. With the hand he has available, Ace slides his hat down to hide whatever expression he's making.

You close your eyes with a sigh and pretend you don't hear the sound of hiccuping. You don't feel the way his hand trembles either.

You squeeze Ace's hand and he squeezes back.

Your hands sting something sweet.

[blysse-and-blunder]

first commonplace book of 2023

monday, january 9, 2023 ~ 6:30pm pst

back ‘at home’ (parents’ place) after a lil trip to see family, during which our flight was cancelled (us and the rest of the world) and we consequently got to spend a total of like 48 hours in the car roundtrip. new year’s at the shore was nice though, and so was roadtrip tunes and reading aloud and the very epic puzzle the family completed.

reading i’m juggling a couple of hot library loans right now, trying to finish them before the loan periods expire while also balancing each one’s tone and vibe etc. so it’s the monster baru cormorant (seth dickinson) when i wake up, maybe you should talk to someone (lori gottlieb) during the day, and the last graduate (naomi novik) at bedtime, in what is a really weird stylistic and emotional smorgasbord now that i look at it... insights and observations to come later when i can focus on one specifically. also, big shoutout to the free knidle download of lord peter wimsey mysteries i already had, and to dorothy l. sayers’ way with words and her ridiculous delightful sweet fop of an amateur detective (and no i don’t mean benoit) who collects medieval manuscripts and quotes poetry every so often mid-sentence while periodically having intense wwi ptsd. every generation needs their fruity little detective, it’s a keystone species. reading this aloud to my mom in the car kept us both awake and discussing things like clues and the picture this paints of things like  early 20th century london society’s antisemitism and train system and newspaper/ print culture.

watching just went back to check the previous ilcb and while i did mention this show, i didn’t feature it specifically so: three pines, based on the louise penny novel series of the same name, now streaming on prime. my mom loves the books, and now we’re all loving the show, and alfred molina is absolutely loving this role he gets to play (and it shows). you may feel that the premise of ‘small cute town full of local characters where murders keep happening’ has been done already, and you’d be right, but there’s something about seeing quebec on screen like this-- and the indigenous community’s strong presence from the first scene of the first episode-- that feels different, and important. the music design and landscape are great, the themes are very honest even when details or plot twists (the whodunnit of episodes 1 and 2, and the tragic twist at the end of ep 2) end up feeling a little exaggerated. here are some good articles about the show’s attempts to center indigenous voices, bring topics like residential school violence and indigenous treatment by police to international audiences, and (arguable, but i respect them for the attempt) avoid white saviorism.

also, you may have deduced from the recent glass onion blogging that i did finally get to watch knives out 2 electric boogaloo.  things i liked about this movie: 1) the response to it/analyses of it/art and memes and edits which i can now enjoy having seen it (the one which observes that the movie itself is a fugue, seriously, i love how much everyone else has been loving this and it has made it so much better), 2) the celebrity cameos (yo-yo ma! hugh grant! stephen sondeheim!?) and watching janelle monae, 3) the visual palette and coloring and lighting and design choices, 4) PEG, 5) finding out at the end that it’s a beatles song reference. i think that i had seen just enough on my dash to have....overly high expectations in some regards, though not specific spoilers so i was still Not Expecting That.

listening got to play a bunch of my music in the car on the roadtrip, so here’s to my mom deciding she likes orville peck (more than hozier!? who is apparently too sad) and my dad enjoying basia bulat’s the garden, and here’s to all the audiobooks, and audiobook recommendations i got from friends, which i gathered optimistically pre-trip and still haven’t finished. so far i’m really enjoying t.j. klune’s through the whispering door (read by kirt graves), which feels both like a more mature and creative venture than his first book and which this narrator is doing a delightful job of (i think the sense of whimsy comes through better when mediated by narrator, it infuses depth/warmth/nuance into details that i think on their own might have rubbed me the wrong way).

and today i just finished listening to jeannette mccurdy’s i’m glad my mom died, which is a harrowing memoir but also was so riveting. she reads it herself, and again having her specific voice and delivery of some of the dialogue was so, so necessary and heartbreaking and occasionally hilarious, it really adds to the experience. major trigger warnings on this one for descriptions (detailed, visceral) of disordered eating, various mental health problems, alcohol abuse, child abuse, and painstaking personal growth. big shoutout to @dimir-charmer​ for recommending this one, i was immediately hooked, you were so right.

playing stardew year three, and i’ve bought a bouquet. her art exhibit was so nerdy, i loved it. just waiting for the right time to pop the question ❤️ (probably after my next house upgrade)(is this delaying a sign of cold feet, or just wanting to only offer her the best?? i’ve already got 8 hearts it’s probably fine but ahhhhh) 

i’ve also figured out (kinda) how to run celeste on this laptop! and immediately threw my poor sweet girl onto many, many icy spikes. again. and again. this one is not a keyboard game, friends, i’m trying lots of different key configurations to try and make it one but i think at the end of the day we’re going to need a controller of some kind. beautiful though.

making spent a lot of yesterday selecting and writing new year’s cards while discovering the power of the background seinfeld marathon, alkj;lkjalskdg asd and i have other art and or craft plans afoot since having been presented with a calligraphy pen and some good paper. baked a gazillion molasses cookies before the trip, but have otherwise just been sort of coasting on creative things lately.

working on threw together a haphazard conference proposal as a way to make myself work on chapter four, and after spending all day staring at it finally just sent it off with the same idea i’d had days ago (but which i thought if i tried hard enough i might be able to improve on. alas.) otherwise, still chugging on recommendation letter (ah) and reading friend’s chapters (ahh) and coming up with things to say for that thing in february (AH) and RAship hours. we’re back to the grind, baby.

[christian-perspectives]

The Stone The Builders Rejected Is Now The Cornerstone

The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. Psalm 118:22 Were you ever with people who made you feel like you didn't belong? Or maybe after giving your input on something, you experienced complete rejection. I've got to say that has happened to me occasionally through the years. And it sure didn't make me feel good about myself. I think you know what I'm talking about.  Fortunately, Jesus didn't let things like that bother Him. Many people loved and admired Him, but many also hated Him. The religious leaders, the influences of Israel, hated Him the most. Psalm 118 painted a word picture for us. Visualize a pile of stones lying beside a building site. As the builders sorted through them, they rejected a stone, thinking it unusable. Promises of God eBook As they began the foundation for the building, their foreman noticed the stone pushed to the side. He told the builders that the stone they rejected would work perfectly as the cornerstone. Jesus brought that illustration given by the Psalmist to life. In addressing the religious leaders, He pointed to Himself as the rejected stone and them as the builders. Then Jesus asked them, "Didn't you ever read this in the Scriptures? The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. This is the Lord's doing, and it is wonderful to see. Matthew 21:42 Paul tied our verse in this Old Testament Psalm with what Jesus accomplished in the New Testament. He completed the picture by describing the church made up of Jews and Gentiles. Together, we are his house, built on the foundation of the apostles and the prophets. And the cornerstone is Christ Jesus himself. We are carefully joined together in him, becoming a holy temple for the Lord. Ephesians 2:20-21

The Lord Cares for Us

Leading up to today's verse, the writer of Psalm 118 wrote many encouraging words for his readers. In verses 5 and 6, he penned how much the Lord cares for us. In my distress I prayed to the Lord, and the Lord answered me and set me free. The Lord is for me, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me? Psalm 118:5-6 The writer of this Psalm could identify with us when we feel overwhelmed by our enemy. He let his readers know that when his enemies came against him, God never failed Him. - Though hostile nations surrounded me, I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord. - Yes, they surrounded and attacked me, but I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord. - They swarmed around me like bees; they blazed against me like a crackling fire. But I destroyed them all with the authority of the Lord. - My enemies did their best to kill me, but the Lord rescued me. Psalm 118:10-13 The Lord rescued us when we accepted Jesus as our Savior. Even though he might try, the enemy can't lay a hand on us. David had the authority of the Lord. We do, too, in Jesus' name. What do strength, victory, and songs of joy all have in common? They each belong to the godly, those living under the protection of the Lord's strong arm. The Lord is my strength and my song; he has given me victory. Songs of joy and victory are sung in the camp of the godly. The strong right arm of the Lord has done glorious things! Psalm 118:14-15

Get Excited

Can you sense the excitement of the Psalmist in this chapter? You can also experience that same excitement regardless of your circumstances. Because we all have access to the presence of God. Open for me the gates where the righteous enter, and I will go in and thank the Lord. These gates lead to the presence of the Lord, and the godly enter there. I thank you for answering my prayer and giving me victory! Psalm 118:19-21 This Psalm sounds like a pep talk, but much better. We have the assurance that God cares for us and stands with us in our corner. While others may put us down, God lifts us up. God used him in prophecy right in the middle of all these encouraging words. He probably didn't understand that the stone rejected by the builders became the cornerstone.  Then he continued by blessing today. Can you take our focus off what happened yesterday and not worry about tomorrow? Why? Because today is the day the Lord has made. This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Please, Lord, please save us. Please, Lord, please give us success. Bless the one who comes in the name of the Lord. We bless you from the house of the Lord. Psalm 118:24-26 We don't know who authored this Psalm. But if David wrote it, at this point, he may have started dancing before the Lord. While reading the following verses, you might want to praise the Lord. Bless the one who comes in the name of the Lord. We bless you from the house of the Lord. You are my God, and I will praise you! You are my God, and I will exalt you! Psalm 118:26,28

Jesus, The Stone the Builders Rejected

The stone that the builders rejected. Yes, the stone they tried to get rid of rose from the grave. God established this stone, the cornerstone, as a firm foundation for those who believe. Therefore, this is what the Sovereign Lord says: "Look! I am placing a foundation stone in Jerusalem, a firm and tested stone. It is a precious cornerstone that is safe to build on. Whoever believes need never be shaken. Isaiah 28:16 God will save us from our enemy and our circumstances. He'll save us for all eternity. Are you ready to praise Him? Join with the Psalmist as he began and ended this Psalm with these words. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. Psalm 118:1,29 Lord, thank you that you are there every moment of every day. I need you constantly. You are the cornerstone of my faith. With you, I cannot fail. The Stone the Builders Rejected Became Our Perfect Sacrifice Check out these related posts of our perfect sacrifice - Jesus Is The Ultimate Sacrifice For All Eternity - Jesus' Resurrection, The Most Important Event Of Christianity - Jesus Fulfilled The Law Of The Old Testament - Jesus Became The Ultimate Sacrifice For The World To receive each new devotional post delivered to your inbox, subscribe below by giving us your first name and email address Read the full article

[raichoose]

Starter Sentences: OPAL

Starter Sentences from Jack Stauber's OPAL. Feel free to change pronouns, etc. as necessary when you send to others.

BEGINNING

"There she is!"

"That's my girl!"

"Go on! You can do it!"

"What do we always say?"

"Don't mind the house across the street, [NAME]."

"It's not where your attention ought to be, [NAME]."

THE GRANDFATHER

"[NAME]? Is that you? Come here, I need you to bring me my cigarettes."

"You know, it's evil to help people who don't need help, [NAME]."

"You're far more interested in me than anything you got going on."

"I'm popular here; they all sing to me."

"Idea salesmen ... They want my soul, [NAME]. They fight over me like dogs."

"I need that smoke, [NAME]! What the hell is taking you?!"

"Won't you tell me? Why does it sound so easy to breathe on TV?"

"It sounds so easy ... "

"You smell weird."

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

"You're - You're not [NAME]. What are you doing in my house?! Get out! Get out of this house! Get out!"

THE FATHER

"Hey! Just gonna walk by without saying hello?"

"They're going to be kicking themselves."

"Glad I don't have your ankles, though."

"I often find myself at my wit's end in here."

"That's just part of my journey, you know?"

"You could spare me a little time, you know. You act like I'm a complete stranger."

"Why do people look at me, like the way you probably are right now?"

"They turned me down; now I live my nightmare."

"Gotta be seen by someone out there."

"Now I sit here in reflection chamber, fixing myself so that all can savor -"

"I'm on the brink of visual epiphany!"

"Life is a costume away; oh, life's a wardrobe change!"

"So I can shift, create a rift, with beauty and with grin."

"God is in my skin!"

"Now I sit here in reflection chamber, crafting the world its next new savior."

"I don't really see why we always have to talk about these sorts of things."

"It puts things into perspective for you, I'm sure."

"Hey! Where are you going?!"

"You know how this makes me feel!"

THE MOTHER

"Who's that? [NAME]?"

"You being a person today, huh?"

"Goodness exists. If I wait, [NAME], and I sit still, it will arrive."

"You should be more considerate, honestly. But I forgive you."

"I forgive every single one of you every night. It's a virtuous cycle."

"How did this get so bad?"

"I feel terrible for all the things ... I feel terrible."

"You and I don't live, [NAME]. We survive."

"Mama needs a little girl to land on ... "

"Mama needs a little girl to fall in her arms ... "

"Mama needs a mama's girl to take good care ... "

"Mama needs a baby girl to hold her hair ... "

"Our adversaries are in denial. They don't know the wrong they do. And they never repent how I want them to."

"And you ... You're just like me. You're just as powerless as I am, [NAME]."

ENDING

"We see you, [NAME]; your troubles are miles away."

"We see you, [NAME], and in our eyes you'll stay."

[thefanficmonster]

All The Colors

Corpse Husband x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Warnings: Colorblindness, Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Romance, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: The colors are not always seen but rather felt. Just like Y/N feels the colors through their best friend and boyfriend Corpse. That’s how they realize that what they can’t see is the most beautiful and genuine feeling in the world. The feeling of knowing something and someone so deeply.

Requested by my dear friend Lulu, who you might have known as greenieofshield. Unfortunately she’ll never get to read this fic and I’ll never forgive myself for not putting it out sooner but I’ll also never forgive the universe for being so cruel as to take her away so early. She was one of the best people I’ve ever met, always so full of optimism, always there to brighten up my day and make me smile. Always so strong and brave, never falling victim to the hate she received despite not being deserving of it. The world lost an angel the day she died and I as well as so many other people will forever miss her.

Love you and miss you with my whole soul and hear, Lulu. Hope they’re treating you right in heaven ❤

For what it’s worth, Y/N has never asked people to describe the colors to them. In their eyes that seemed like the equivalent of poorly patching up a wound: they could hear thousands upon thousands of descriptions of each color and still wouldn’t be able to imagine it. The descriptions would only make that worse to them. So to avoid feeling even more like they’re missing out they never asked.

However, that doesn’t mean they haven’t developed their own way to ‘visualize’ and imagine colors throughout the years. They’ve tried loads of different methods, few of which stuck around and not for long either. That is exactly why they frequently used to tell their friends: “You can’t paint me a rainbow with black and white and shades of grey and expect me not to feel like I’m missing out on something. Paint me the gloomy sky on a rainy day and only then we’ll be even cause you’re seeing the same greys I am.”

Little did they know how drastically their logic was about to change in the following years.

Speaking of said following years - they met Corpse who became one of their best friends in practically no time. And within just a few months of that friendship’s blossoming, a romance sparked. A romance their friends would jokingly refer to as ‘romance of a lifetime’. Maybe it was said jokingly but Lord knows they weren’t wrong in saying so because the two were completely head over heels for one another -s till are to this day - and never shied away from showing it.

Y/N and Corpse met through Rae who Y/N was staying with while on a little vacation to Los Angeles. To be even more specific here, the two met through a game of Among Us, the game responsible for many wonderful friendships since its release.

“Guys, guys, guys.“ Y/N said after sparking up a bickering session for falsely accusing ‘blue‘ of faking a task in Navigation during the final round for the day, “Here’s a little rule of thumb for whenever we play together again: don’t trust me if I accuse a color instead of a name.“ It’s safe to say that statement rose a few eyebrows in the Discord call, the confusion serving as amusement to them before they explained themself, “Oh, why that is? Hm, I don’t know, maybe cause I’m colorblind.”

Rae who was in on the scheme the whole time and was struggling to hold in her laughter finally snapped while the rest of the players were left processing the information that had been dropped on them.

“But you practically kicked our ass every single round?!“ Corpse said, amazement and confusion in his tone.

“Expect the unexpected from this schemer, take it from someone who’s known them for a decade now.“ Rae said, winking at her friend from across the room. Not failing to notice the blush on their cheeks while doing so though.

“Corpse, are you calling me a good liar?“ They poked a stick at him teasingly, desperately avoiding Rae’s gaze which widened the second she realized why her friend was so flustered by Corpse’s remark.

“Practically a con artist.“ He replied to them with a laugh, earning one from them in return.

And so they practically conned him into falling in love with them with their quick wit, sarcasm and cuteness. If someone is to ask Corpse if he expected to fall for Y/N, he’d probably say yes.

“They were like a magnet the moment they entered the lobby and started talking.“ He said once on a live stream in response to a question he received in the chat regarding Y/N, “It wasn’t hard at all, falling for them. What took me a while was realizing it. While I was referring to them as ‘best friend’ all my friends were rolling their eyes and going ‘Sure, bud.’ Just took me a bit to realize why.”

Luckily, it didn’t take him too long to grasp what his heart was actually screaming at him. Good thing they came to terms with it so soon too, otherwise they would’ve driven their friends insane.

Anyway, enough about what happened and what could’ve happened under one circumstance or another, what matters is the ‘here and now’ of their relationship. And trust me when I say it has never been better and it keeps getting better every day.

The beauty of what those two have is in the tiny every day things that they do for each other, the good morning texts even though the other person in probably just in the kitchen making breakfast while the other cannot find it in them to get out of bed; or it’s laced within the calls between them when neither of them are home or at least one of them is out and about, busy with a task they’ve probably been putting off for far too long. Don’t get me wrong though, the romantic gestures aren’t rare either. Random gifts are exchanged by them on regular intervals but one consistent and super romantic gesture that repeats a few times every year (of the two years they’ve been dating) is Corpse giving Y/N a bouquet of flowers.

A detail Y/N couldn’t help but take notice of was the fact that the bouquet was always made up of the same flowers with only small changes to the arrangement of them and maybe some tiny ones added too. Unfortunately, they aren’t artificial so they couldn’t have kept them thought they wish they could’ve. That being said, it goes without saying that those flowers mean the world to Y/N, the gesture actually - they know flowers are a common gift to give but anything they receive from Corpse is so special and makes them feel like the only person who’s ever received such a gift.

And so they got curious, they had to ask. They had to ask the question they never thought they’d actively ask considering their view of the topic. But they still did.

“Hey Corpse.“ Y/N spoke up out of the blue, breaking the silence that had fallen over them while they watched the movie they were only partially interested in given how exhausted they both were from devoting themselves to their respective tasks and responsibilities throughout the last few days.

Corpse hummed in response, the arm wrapped around their waist doing a little motion as if encouraging them to continue, his gaze immediately traveling down to his partner.

“What color are the flowers?“ They asked, gazing at the bouquet - a gift they had received from him for their birthday a few days prior - in the vase on the dining table.

They waited a few seconds but when they didn’t hear nor feel any sort of response from him they couldn’t help but look up at him. Upon doing so, they saw his small smile as his eyes too remained on the bouquet. “They’re black and white.“ He replied eventually, “Black roses and white daffodils.“ His gaze wandered away from the vase and down to meet theirs, “I don’t want you to think I’m seeing them in their ‘full beauty’ while you only see them in black and white. You are seeing them in their full beauty and not missing out on anything. They are absolutely beautiful black and white as they are.“

As a response to his answer, Y/N couldn’t suppress the growing smile on their face no matter how hard they tried. So they didn’t try at all, they let the smile lighten up their face before speaking up: “You’re a wonder, Corpse.” They said, pushing themself as upright as they could to be able to kiss his cheek. “However, you’re wrong.” They say when they pull away, smirking up at his confused expression, “My world was black and white until you came into it. You’re all the colors, Corpse. Your love’s red, joy’s yellow, sadness blue, chaos green. Love red. You’re all the colors and out of all the people that have tried to describe to me how they look, you have managed to do that just perfectly without even trying.”

Little did they know that’s exactly what he thinks of them - their world is black and white because all the colors live within them. Because they are all the colors.

And maybe they both are, seeing as how they came into each other’s lives exactly like the rainbow after the pouring rain.

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[oneoftheprettynerds]

Just My Type: Dark!Steve x Reader (Mob AU)

Chapter 2 in the Lipstick and Crayons Series.

Chapter 1: Welcome to the Darkside

Main Masterlist

A/N: This chapter is 2K words more than the last chapter and I’ve second guessed every single line in this one. This story is getting a lot of traction guys and I’m equal parts happy and scared. Thank you for the nice comments, they do encourage me. Also I’m just ranting feel free to skip this note haha. Your support in any form: like, comment or reblog is appreciated greatly. Also you can dm if you want to be friends, God knows I need those. Hopefully, this chap was worth the wait. Also, I made a poster for this on the main masterlist so check that out, it might be foreshadowing dome plot.

Warning: Eventual Non-Con, Sickening Threats, Mob Themes, Violence, Death, Manipulation, a mild mental breakdown, Cheap Tricks later.

Genres + Characters: Mob AU, Single Parents AU, Steve Rogers x Reader.

Summary: Steve can't ever repay you for what you did. After meeting you, Steve believes his broken family is the missing piece in the puzzle of your own wrecked one. Indebting the crime lord to you has been the biggest mistake of your life, cause now you can't get rid of him, no matter what. Loyalty and favours go a long way in the mob.

Chapter 2: Just My Type

It had almost been a week since the incident and you had barely gotten a wink of sleep. When you drove back to your house that night, Steve surprisingly didn’t argue as you had expected. After that friend of his whispered something in his ears, you only assumed he was needed elsewhere and you couldn’t be more thankful for that. They escorted you to your car and Steve thanked you with a strained smile, words genuine but eyes calculating. You didn’t even wonder what went inside his head. You were thankful for the peace and quiet of your own car, content to just get out of the area and into your humble abode.

After you put the already asleep Grace to bed, you couldn’t bring yourself to get out of her room. You just sat on the floor beside the bed, hand intertwined with hers as you rested your head beside her tummy on the mattress.

Your adrenaline wore off and your limbs ached as your thoughts finally settled into place, the gravity of the catastrophe a few hours prior hitting you. Tears made their way down your cheeks as you realized that you both could have very well died tonight.

One bullet could have sealed each of your lives and you were basically defenseless had Steve not saved you against the creeping assaulter. You couldn’t commend yourself for even defending yourself against one attacker, the guilt of killing someone harboring in your tired head. Your quiet whimpers eventually wore you out, while Grace’s shallow breaths lulled you to sleep.

You didn’t manage to sleep for long though, every time your eyes closed, horrific images flashed in your mind. A blood curdling scream here, heaps of dead bodies there, with distant exploding sounds all around. You could see men clad in black holding guns to Grace’s head and whensoever you woke up, you just wondered how much more creative your mind could get, making these visuals so realistic.

When 8 AM rolled in, you didn’t wake Grace up even though it was Monday and you had work. You got up, changed into a long tee after a shower and called your office and then her daycare. You knew you would have a hard time going back to your normal life, to become trusting enough to leave her alone.

Your assumption about yourself was right. You took almost the entire week off, which your boss generously allowed you to after hearing your traumatic experience, which soon made the city news headlines. All your colleagues checked on you, almost once in the five day break you took, and sweetly enough offered to bring you anything you needed.

It was kind of them, but none of them could bring you what your heart genuinely craved: peace and assurance that you and Grace would be safe.

Even though Saturdays were off, you did go to work to see what you missed and where to start on again. You went in because you knew that the random spurt of resolution you got in the bathroom to collect your life, wouldn’t last.

To ease back into your normal life, you gathered your guts, called a babysitter and left home. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave Grace at the daycare just yet. One of your good friends offered to come in to the office and help you, even on the weekend and you were quite grateful to him.

When you both decided to take lunch in the nearby dining place, you both got to talking, the conversation obviously originating from ‘How have you been?’ and ‘Is Grace okay?’. You reminisced about how you used a photobooth to hide, grotesquely and uncomfortably chuckling when you remembered Sarah calling you her mom and how her dad saved you all.

You deliberately left the part where you killed someone and Steve shot someone too. You hadn’t come to terms with it yet and you stiffly restricted your mind whenever it tried to go down that lane.

He sensed how the conversation was becoming tense and distressing for you and briskly redirected the topic.

“I hope the dad was hot though?” He wiggled his eyes creepily and you snorted at his vulgarity, light for the first time in days.

“He was easy on the eyes; I will admit that.” You played along, recalling your girlfriends and how you used to ogle people.

“Don’t be a homewrecker though, I don’t support cheating.” He said nonchalantly, checking his phone as a notification bell rang off.

“He’s a widower.”

His eyes snapped up and met yours as his head tilted in confusion. “That’s a strange fact to know about someone you met for a few minutes.”

Steve’s even stranger comment about his dead wife popped in your mind and before you could stop yourself, you blurted that out as well.

“He even said and I quote, ‘She deserved what she got.’” He put his phone down, weirdly amused.

“Ooh Creepy! Do you think he is one of those husbands who kill their wives and bury them in the backyard? The podcasts always say that the psychopaths are visually handsome and charming. And his statement was quite vague and spooky.” He continued munching, and you felt that now Aiden was really paying attention unlike before.

“Steve did have a gun while searching for Sarah, come to think of it.” You drank your tea and awaited his response. What you did not expect was his eyes to widen and worry to cloud his features.

“Um Widower Steve with a toddler Sarah? At the place where The Vices attacked?” He mumbled, grabbing his phone and doing God knows what on it. Your eyebrows furrowed and before you could ask him what was up with his antics, he resumed.

“This is a long shot but I really hope your Steve didn’t look like this.” He positioned the phone in your vision, and you could already tell it was Steve by the sapphire blue of his eyes piercing through the screen into your soul. The picture was a month or two old, his hair was much longer when you met him than in the photo.

“This is him.” Your eyes met Aiden’s and worry visibly took over his features as his forehead creased and jaw tense.

He looked around the restaurant, finding it empty in the afternoon. He leaned and whispered, “This Steve of yours is dangerous.”

You interrupted Aiden, even though you already knew Steve was, the sight of his armed men still fresh in your head, and inquired, “Why do you say so?”

“It’s just like the fictional stories we hear from our parents, except here, in this city of ours, every myth holds true. There are really powerful men, untouchable by law, who reign the city silently and live luxuriously. Every shady, under the table deal you’ve heard of, transpires. Illegal trades, fraud schemes and bounty hunters are not fictional, they exist here. These men kill whatever hinders them and trust me, you don’t want to be the deer caught in their Jaguar’s headlights.”

Ice froze in your veins again, resembling the fear you felt that night but now because of your deemed ‘savior’. You convinced yourself that you had not wronged him in any way, instead had saved his daughter’s life.

“Are you in contact with him? If you are, distance yourself cleverly, don't block him immediately.”

“No, we just parted ways near my car, he thanked me for Sarah and was called away. It’s almost been a week and he hasn’t reached out if that’s what you mean. We didn’t exchange contacts and I don’t think I even told him my full name.” You explained yourself as if you were on the witness stand in court, trying to convince yourself more than Aiden.

“Pray that he doesn’t remember you more than that, if at all. I’m being totally honest here in telling you this, I’m genuinely worried for you and Grace. You are smart but he is powerful. He has unimaginable resources and if you become more than a speck of dust on his windshield, you are screwed. There is no exaggeration here.” You took his words to your heart and swore to be careful, if not for yourself then for Grace.

The rest of the day went by and you found yourself dwelling on and worrying about Aiden’s words. At least he put it out there as it was. Heeding his advice, you did google Steve on your phone, finally finding him in the topmost news headline when you added ‘Buck’ in the search bar as well.

‘With 38 lawsuits pending against businessman Steve Rogers, the filers have lost all hope in prosecuting him. All cases are being drawn out for indefinite periods of time by the Chief Justice Bruce……’

Aiden was right.

Businessmen was code for illegal mob heads. Cases being stretched on meant he was, in fact, invincible, at least to the common man’s fists.

You flickered through several titles, each one more surprising than the last. He was believed to be involved in the carnival attack, alleged for three hit and run cases that he didn’t lose but the witnesses swore they saw him driving and was also rumored to have brought in quintals of drugs just last week, but the packets just evaporated into thin air and there was no proof of their existence in the first place even on incessant searching.

Every crime of his made you shudder and you mentally thanked Aiden for pulling you out of your oblivion. Your mind raced and heart palpated and you cursed yourself for being so drastically unaware even after living here for almost four years. Technically speaking, Steve and you were even, him saving your life and you saving his daughter’s. No logical reason came to your mind for him contacting you ever.

You wished as Aiden said and assured yourself that your paths would never cross again, Steve not having reached out in a week, so hopefully never again.

That thought went out the window when you reached home to find a box awaiting you. Hannah, the babysitter you had called, informed you it came around 5 in the evening and was exclusively to be opened by you today.

Your mind raced as you paid the babysitter, your hands sweaty as you tried not to think about the gift and its sender. There was an apparently clear answer to who mailed it but you refused to accept that, courtesy of Aiden.

The box was of the height of Grace, it was black with red hearts painted across it; some red roses also sparingly adorned it. You opened the lid and found tons of red tissues and a multi-flower bouquet adorned with mostly red roses and a few purple and pink flowers.

Because of your frequent gardening in your backyard, you knew all the flowers’ meanings. To sum it all up, red flowers, especially roses were used for courting someone. Pink meant admiration, purple for beauty and you knew the ‘violet’ flowers were for loyalty.

As your nerves increased tenfold, you willed yourself to get it over with and empty out the box first, ignoring the little card in your bouquet, saving the ‘best’ for last. You find a mini bouquet inside but unlike yours, it had chocolates of every kind. You did read its card and cringed when it was for Grace, bothered not by the deed but by the doer.    

Further inside were some animal plushies, face masks, perfumes, scented body lotions and shampoos. Your head hurt thinking about the ‘single mother care package’ delivered to you by someone you refused to acknowledge.

As Grace sat in her playpen occupied, you dared to pick your card and read its message, your heart beating unrealistically fast for someone who refused to accept the cruciality of her situation.

~

I can’t thank you enough in this lifetime for saving my little princess. The gift of your help is more than anything money could ever buy for me. Please accept this invitation of mine for dinner tomorrow night, 7PM at La Bonne Nuit, as a symbol of my sincere gratitude for everything you’ve done. I’ll gets the kids covered and pick you up, you just be ready and look as amazing you always do.                                                                                           Sincerely,                                                                      Steve Rogers

                                                                                            ~

You stilled as you read it over and over again.

An invitation, your ass. Even in writing his authority portrayed, there was no question and hope for you coming, he just stated that you’d come. Looking pretty as always? You just met him once, in the middle of a calamity, covered in dirt and blood.

All the red roses and gifts screamed his romantic interest but you illusioned yourself into thinking they meant gratitude. You wouldn’t be able to digest it all otherwise.

Knowing what you knew now about Steve, you understood there was no denying the dinner tomorrow. You had to get out of his clutches and distance yourself, but as Aiden had so rightfully said, cleverly.

That night you laid in bed mulling over your next course of actions. You had called the gift shop to return the unwarranted presents you received but they said it was non refundable and anonymous to trace. You bitterly snorted in their face, they put a card with Steve’s name on it for heaven’s sake!

You didn’t flinch even when you realized you never gave Steve your address, neither for mailing stuff nor for picking you up. There was no number given to call him and thank or to call him and deny. The bastard had planned it all out, and you felt like you were driving in a one way lane, going deeper into the tunnel. Somewhere among your all-relentless fretting, you managed to finally sleep.

 When the doorbell rang, your eyebrows furrowed. It was just 6 PM and you weren’t expecting anybody else except for Steve. You had already begun getting ready, having developed a habit of keeping an extra margin of time now having a toddler. You still had to assemble Grace’s essential backpack, fill it with her meds and bottles.

While still putting on your diamond earring, you made your way to the door, unlocking it to find a redhead grinning at you. Before you could interact with her, a small body clung to your legs and you looked down to find the azure eyed kid that put you in this mess, Sarah, smiling up at you.

“Mama! You look pwetty!” She looked up in awe and now aware that she didn’t have a mother, you were even more so coerced into accepting this title rather than telling the kid that 'you are semi orphaned'.

“I’m Wanda, Sarah’s nanny. Mr. Rogers told me to pick her friend, Grace, up for the night?” So, this was what Steve meant. Bringing Sarah was proof enough of her legitimacy, but behind her you saw ‘Buck’ salute you from the driver’s seat of the black car. One of these days, you needed to learn his real name.

You invited Wanda inside and Sarah ran to Grace immediately, grabbing and whining while asking Grace to give her some popcorn she was munching on, her fist generously full.

In your open plan kitchen, you grabbed two plastic bowls, filled them with each with the tub of popcorn that sat in the microwave and handed each toddler one, fortunately quietening Sarah. Sarah obeyed Grace, in first thanking you, their ‘mama’ and then following her to her open playpen.

You faced Wanda again who sat on a barstool and kept on beaming. If your annoyance at her amusement showed, she sure didn’t let it falter the smile.

“Mr. Rogers told me you’d worry about your daughter, but I assure you she’d be in more than capable hands.” All you could focus on was how self-reassured she was. “I’ve served him for almost two years, the last family I served, I was there for 8 years and before them, I was employed for 3. I know the general bedtime and snacks, all I need from you is information about her allergies.”

You nodded and told her about Grace, her meds and what all you packed. When you got to know that her family owned the daycare Grace went to, you were finally somewhat convinced. After seeing them off, it was about fifteen minutes later, that the devil disguised in Prada showed up at your door.

You grabbed your purse and your keys. Wiping your sweaty palms on your dress, you opened the door. Steve stood there, a smirk lodging on his handsome face. His blue, three-piece suit perfectly paired with his cerulean eyes was impressive to say the least.

He was dressed to kill, and it appeared as if you were his first victim.

As your eyes took him in from top to bottom, his did the same lazily, taking their time, resting at certain places for longer period than others.

“You look stunning.”

You knew you did. You wore one of your more expensive dresses when you found out La Bonne Nuit to be one of the few seven-star hotels in the country. In hindsight, if you’d have dressed worse, maybe he’d have left you alone.

“Thank you.”

“Shall we?” He offered you his hand and you obliged with your palm in his. Your other hand pulled the doorknob while you stepped out, all alarms already set-in place. He waited while you locked and put the keys in and when you were done, with a soft kiss along your knuckles, he pulled you along.

The act surprised you, your stomach turning and your gut wrenching and you wondered if you’d be able to process the food after all, with your upset digestive system.

Like a proper gentleman, he opened the door for you and when you settled, he took his position at the driver’s seat. The silence was painful for you, your overthinking finally filling ideas in your head that you avoided contemplating about all day, focusing on Grace.

He was relaxed though; his humming was proof enough.

Mid way through, your thoughts were rudely interrupted when a hand housed itself on your knee. You glanced to find Steve’s palm slightly rubbing your knee. If it was meant to be assuring, you certainly didn’t feel like it.

You frowned and looked up to Steve who still had the arrogant smirk on his face, eyes straight ahead on the road, giving no indication of his inappropriate touching.

You wanted to swat his hand away but a brainwave dashed through your head and a disturbing thought made you halt, that whether he carried guns to restaurants as well, since carnivals were no big deal.

You ignored his hand and continued looking outside, pretending to ignore it as well as he did. Your scowl was a huge giveaway though.

You didn’t know that, but when your eyes found their way out, his finally rested on your face, the smirk growing even more.

Thankfully, apart from the incongruous touching, the dinner went okay-ish. The food and wine were impeccable, perfect even, the restaurant on the hotel’s top floors was so picturesque. You tried to savor your one-time experience there, knowing you’d no way be able to come back there.

Well, you tried to relish as much as you could while your mind still sat there, wary of the human in front of you. If you’d ignore your journey here, Steve was nothing short of a true gentleman, often making you wonder if you had imagined his hand on you.

This ‘friendly’ date you were having was probably one of the best you have had, he had left no expenses. He appeared to be interested in your work, about your childhood and about Grace’s but you swiftly avoided his questions about her father. He was growing a tad bit too comfortable for your liking and you still refused to entertain the idea that this was a ‘date’ date.

When you were finally onto dessert, the last course of your meal, your table was shadowed by the broad frame of a brunette and his date. He clapped Steve’s shoulder and Steve rose to hug him, you awkwardly smiled.

“It’s been far too long since you’ve been here, Cap. Why don’t you and your gorgeous date stop by my penthouse for a bit? We could finally go over the papers you sent me, in person?” He winked, they discussed something more and then went away, his date bowing and trailing after him as well.

Steve claimed his seat again, and finally told you about the interrupter. “That was my good friend, Tony Stark, always in a hurry. I’ll introduce you to him when we meet him later.”

“I think I’ll be heading home; you need not worry about my introduction, I hardly think we’ll ever run into each other again.” His eyes narrowed and you clarified, “Me and Mr. Stark, I meant.”

That’s good, don’t associate yourself with more of his kind.

“He was so kind in inviting you though, it would be rude to refuse.”

“It’s already late, Steve. And I’ve never left Grace alone for a night yet. What if she’s antsy? What if she is bothered? What if she feels unsafe? She's only used to very few people, and after last week, I-” You had started the sentence hoping to use Grace as an excuse but every word of yours succeeded in making you more apprehensive.

The carnival night flashed in your mind, along with the nightmares and you started panicking even more. Your hands clammy, your dessert spoon fell in your lap as sought your phone in your purse, hoping to call Wanda for an update. You felt like a terrible mother, who left her child with a stranger, only a week after she suffered trauma, just to go on a date with a mobster.

Steve reached across the table and grabbed your fidgety hands and as you wriggled to get your hands free, he softly called your name. Voice stern but vocals gentle. Your blurry eyes snapped to meet his while he guided you to breathe deeply, in and out.

His firm hold convinced you to listen to him, you’d never free yourself of them otherwise.

When you had calmed a bit, he withdrew his hands and fetched his phone. Your thoughts slowed down, and you wondered if anyone here was judging you. Your little scene, mercifully, went unnoticed by the other affluent people dining here.

Steve handed you his phone where four colored frames rested, the screen showing you Grace and Sarah cuddled in a frilly, pink four poster where Wanda sat too, her lips moving.

The feed was live and the screen muted, both the toddlers’ eyes fluttering close slowly, on the bridge of sleep.

You handed the phone back to Steve and drank your water while he rubbed circles on the back of one of your hands. You never freaked out like you did right now, always collected and never giving into anxiety. What had happened to you?

Well, In your defense, you had never experienced a disaster either.

“The kids are safe; I’m never putting either of them in harm’s way ever again.”

Your mind did catch the plural in his statement but you promised yourself you would not let it get that far and continued drinking your water, emptying the entire glass.

“The HD image you just saw was by cameras Tony recently developed. His technology is amazing, I’ll take you to his lab sometime.” You appreciated his attempt to redirect the topic but you also focused on how tech-savvy his friends were as well.

You hummed and agreed, trying to be ambiguous with your answer.

When you finished your dessert, you hoped he’d forget about his ‘friend’ Tony but to no avail.

“His penthouse is two floors above. He owns this hotel as well in case you didn’t notice.” He led you to the elevator as you recalled the Starks Group logo you saw earlier sometime.

Some AI named Jarvis opened the elevator doors for you in the living room of Tony’s penthouse. It was even more magnificent than the restaurant earlier, the place illuminated by several hues of different colours. Steve chuckled and strung you along, introducing you to a ginger-head named Pepper, who was Tony’s date earlier and went to search for his acquaintance.

She offered you wine but you politely declined, opting for water instead. She brought your glass to you from the extravagant kitchen and you both sat on the barstool there instead of the living room. Too anxious to say the wrong thing, you stayed quiet until her voice filled the deafening silence.

“So, Steve almost never brings dates around. You two serious?” She questioned, leaning towards you, waiting for some gossip, no doubt.

“Oh no! We aren’t dating. He just invited me for a friendly dinner. We merely met the other week.” You deliberately left out the part where there was bombing by crime families and attack on the common man.

“Honey, in the mob life, you don’t just introduce random people to the fam.”

Oh, she wasn’t being shy about the whole mob ordeal. It seemed weird to hear it from her, since you and Steve hadn’t used the word yet. Maybe he figured you already knew considering the circumstances you met in or how famous he was.

“We really aren’t romantically involved. This dinner was just a gesture of gratitude if I’m being truthful.”

She chuckled, as if you were a kid making stories and quizzed, “Gratitude for what?”

You trapped yourself into that one. You didn’t know how to answer her and your brain downright blanked. Surprisingly,, Steve came to your rescue and two voices interposed your conversation.

Steve called your name and as you turned to the men, he continued, “She’s the one who saved Sarah the other night. You know the story, Wilson probably got it printed.”

“Impressive, really. Hey, I’m Tony and I see you’ve already met Pepper, my fiancée.” He shook your hand and kissed your knuckles, much like Steve did earlier in the day. You bowed, smiled and mumbled a ‘nice to meet you as well’. They escorted you to the elevator and Tony continued.

“Well, it’s not everyday Steve brings brave and extraordinarily attractive women around. Welcome to the family, sweetie. She’s a keeper, Cap.” He winked while saying the last sentence and before you could correct him, Steve ushered you inside the elevator, bro-hugging him. As the doors closed, Pepper winked at you from behind Tony and a shudder ran through you.

Okay you had to make it clear, get on the same page.

As the elevator music filled the silence, you started, “Steve, look we aren’t-”, “I served in the army, that’s why Tony calls me Cap, short for captain.” And crudely got interrupted.

“I never wanted to get into the army, I thought people were fools to sacrifice the one life they got. But I went to make my mother’s dream a reality, I really loved her, you know? Sarah is named after her, my mother.”

His voice broke at the end and as much as you wanted to redirect onto your former topic, you couldn’t. This amiability of yours would be the death of you.

“She died alone in her bed; I was dispatched too far away to even make it back for her funeral.” He mumbled but you heard him clear as a sunny day, and he leaned back onto the wall for support while you awkwardly rubbed his shoulder to return the support he provided earlier during your mental breakdown.

He closed his eyes and gathered himself, taking deep breaths. As the elevator dinged, his eyes opened and he gave you a strained smile.  

The car ride to his mansion was painfully silent, his mind too sidetracked to focus on harassing you again. With all that you went through today, you almost forgot about that.

His mansion was enormous, twenty guards stood outside and even more patrolled the lawn. He took you inside his house, the interior even more detailed and scenic than Tony’s temporary residence.

You just concentrated on swiftly getting Grace and Uber-ing back. As Steve showed you earlier, Grace and Sarah hugged and slept and it was a meticulous task to untangle their limbs without waking either of them up andnd get Grace with her back-pack. You thanked Wanda on the way out, hoping to avoid Steve but somehow he stood outside before you, leaning on his sleek black car. He opened the door for you before you could refuse the ride. You settled with Grace in the backseat itself, trying to be smart.

He just summoned one of his guards to drive and sat alongside you in the back. You didn’t let the annoyance at his clinginess show though. You just focused on Grace who drooled over your shoulder.

Hopefully, there won’t be any point of exposure to him ever again, your circles didn’t match, both social and professional. Your Venn diagrams didn’t overlap anywhere. This should be reason enough to avoid meeting ever again.

He didn’t try anything even this ride around. You doubted it was hardly because of the toddler or because of the driver. He did as he pleased, if he wanted to he could very well grope you. Luckily, he wasn't in the mood.

When you reached your dwelling, you stepped out hastily, thanking him in a whisper. You fumbled to get your keys out, but since everything you held slowed you down, he caught up with you without even trying.

He took and held Grace’s bag while you drew the keys out, Grace still on your hip. He handed you the bag back, “So this is it, I guess?”

“Yeah, tonight was a total delight. Thanks for the dinner and everything, really.” You put up your best façade, hoping to convince him.

“It was, thanks to you. The company matters the most.”

You awkwardly chuckled and you sensed him leaning in, his eyes flickering shut. Your eyes closed as you turned your head to avoid him, so that his lips would peck your cheek.

They never came.

Your eyes opened to find his and he chuckled, leaning in once again swiftly, catching you off guard this time. He didn’t meet your lips though, he kissed the corner of your mouth, lips overlapping for a fraction of skin.

“In due time, baby.” He stepped back and strolled to his car leisurely, content in his own world.

You opened your door and slammed it shut, the peck feeling wrong on so many levels. It felt more sensual than a lover’s kiss, leaving room for intimacy and longing.

Your thoughts ran a hundred kilometers an hour, the most absurd but nauseatingly true being, this was a date and it was not your last encounter.

Steve smirked outside in his car, the dinner an absolute success in his opinion. Tonight just made him feel that you both were more than compatible for each other. You needing him during your mental breakdown, him relaxing under your shy touch, Tony’s approval, not that important though, and your anxiety for Grace was the best part, because he, more often than he’d like to admit, fussed about Sarah the same way, agonizing and fretting her well being.

A text lit up his black screen and his grin widened even more if possible.

‘The Stark cameras are up and working, Sir.’

[maxwell-grant]

You have done an (excelent) post on how to reinvent Batman as a Pulp Hero. Do you think you could do one to Superman as well? Or do you think it is impossible to do this with the progenitor of the Super Hero genre without transforming him in a totaly diferent character?

Well, you saying it as impossible only makes it seem ever more tempting of a challenge, but yes, it is a bit harder. I'm gonna link my Batman post here as a reference point.

Partially because Batman's a franchise I've thought extensively about for a long time in regards to what I like about it or how I'd like to approach if given the opportunity, which is not something I can really say for Superman until more recently the Big Blue to start orbiting my brain. I don't have years worth of redesigns or fan concepts saved on my galleries and files to comb through to pick and choose here, and my experience with Superman as a character is considerably different, in some aspects more deeply personal, and not really something I'd like to go into in this blog, at least not now.

Part of the reason why it's harder is also because Batman and Superman have very different relationships with their pulp inspirations. Batman was, ostensibly, a pulp character adapted to comics, a dime-a-dozen Shadow knock-off who picked up and played up diverging traits from other characters and gradually ran with them to gradually forge a unique identity. Superman right from the start was rooted in a much stronger conceptual underpinning: the Sci-Fi Superman and Alien Menace who, instead of being a tragic monster or a tyrannical villain, becomes a costumed adventurer and social crusader. Even the name Super-Man was taken from an early story of Siegel and Shuster about a telepathic villain who ends the story lamenting that he should have used his powers for the good of mankind instead of selfishness. I hesitate to call what Siegel and Shuster were doing “subversive” because that term's picked up a real negative connotation, and it's not like Siegel and Shuster were out to upend their influences (they were pulp aficionados themselves), but rather putting a more positive, new spin on them.

Which is why it also becomes a bit harder to do what I did with Batman and align Superman with some of his pulp-esque inspirations, like John Carter, Flash Gordon or Hugo Danner, without just making it "Superman but he's John Carter", "Superman but it's Flash Gordon", and "Iron Munro / Superman but everything sucks" respectively. It's harder to create a character that wouldn't feel reduntant and derivative at best, and actively contradictory to Superman at worst.

I guess if I had to come up with a "Pulp Hero Superman" take I liked, well first of all I'd have to take steps to distance it from the likes of Tom Strong or Al Ewing's Doc Thunder, those two are as good as it gets in regards to Pulp Supermen. I stipulated for Batman a "No Guns, No Murder, No Service" policy partially to distance my takes on Batman from all the "Pulp Batmen" that just add guns and murder and take Batman back to the barest of basics. Likewise, I'm adding a "No Depowered Science Hero" rule here, which means it's a take that's likely going to veer off a lot more into fantasy and probably enough tampering with Clark's character that it does risk becoming a different character.

Frankly I don't think I'm gonna succeed at doing these without just making it a new character entirely, because with Batman you can get away with just upending the character's aesthetic and setting and even origin and still keep it recognizably Bruce Wayne (in fact Batman does that all the time), which isn't really the case with Superman, who needs those to remain recognizably Superman as he goes through internal changes and character shifts. I guess what I'm gonna do here is more taking the building blocks of Superman/Clark Kent and see a couple new ways I can rearrange them to create a Pulp Superman

Perhaps something we can do is to scale back or recontextualize the "superhero" parts without diminishing Superman's role as a superpowered fantasy character.

One way we can start is by picking on that connection between Superman and the sci-fi supermen/alien monsters of pulps I mentioned earlier and play it up further, to create a Superman who's deeply, deeply alien in a way that no mild-mannered disguise or colorful outfit can really disguise, something so dramatically powerful and alien, that instead you could get tales about the kinds of ensuing changes and ripple effects this has on the world upon the The Super-Man's arrival. And for that I'm gonna have to quote @davidmann95's concept for Joshua Viers' absolutely stunning Superman redesign on the left side of the image above

The red, the goldish-orange and white, the alienness, the angelic, sculpted feeling, the halo, that innocently curious expression: it’s genuinely beautiful. Superman as a redeeming science-angel from beyond our understanding, as much past the uncanny valley of limited human comprehension as a Lovecraftian monster but tuned to the opposite key - you could spend an endless procession of human lifetimes trying and failing to understand this being, but all you’ll ever know for sure is that it is beyond you, and it knows you, and it loves you.

Superdoomsday from Earth 45, healed and transformed into the savior it was originally envisioned as? Some descendant of his, or a future of the man himself? An alien who picked up on a broadcast of Superman from Earth, and so inspired reshaped itself in his image to spread his ‘gospel’ to the stars?

Alternatively, to come back to Earth a little, many, many pulp characters and series were built off the antics and personalities of real people, celebrities getting their own magazines or serials or fictionalized takes on them, so perhaps one way to make a "pulp" take on Superman would be to emphasize a bit more of Superman's real-world roots, trends that inspired his creation directly or indirectly at the time. The Jewish strongman Sigmund Breibart and Shuster's interest in fitness culture, Harold Lloyd's comic persona, the rising "strongman" film genre in the early 20th century, actors Clark Gable and Kent Taylor that supposedly named his secret identity, Clark Kent being a socially-awkward journalist based of Siegel's own school experiences.

Maybe one start to an authentic Pulp Superman, who would still be Superman, would be to just ask the question "What if Superman was a real person and/or a celebrity, and they started making pulp magazines and serials dedicated to him? What would those look like?". You wouldn't even have to restrict it to just a story set in the 1930s, in fact you could even play around with the rise of new mediums over the decades.

This third one is a little closer to some plans I have for my own take on a Superman character, not necessarily what I would do with Superman proper but one of my ideas for a Superman analogue. Superman's a character I'll always associate strongly with childhood and childhood fantasy, and to tap into that I would emphasize the other end of the fiction that influenced Siegel and Shuster: comic strips, in their case specifically Little Nemo and Popeye.

In my case I would bring additional influences from some of the comic strips I personally grew up reading like Monica's Gang and Calvin and Hobbes, and I already talked a bit about Captain Fray in terms of how he’s a Superman character despite being a villain. I guess you could call this one "What if Superman was a public domain comic strip character, stripped of the importance of being the founding figure of a super popular genre or extended universe, and also was kind of ugly?".

He's not "Sloth from the Goonies" ugly, I swear I didn't actually have Sloth in mind when typing out this idea, I've never watched that film nor did I know until now that he actually spends the film in a Superman shirt. That's not really what I'm going for. Visually I was thinking of modeling my take on Superman heavily after Hugo from Street Fighter and his inspiration Andre the Giant, to really emphasize the “circus strongman / freak wrestler” aspect of Superman’s inspiration, particularly in regards to how Hugo’s SFIII version strikes a really great balance in making Hugo ugly and both comedic and fearsome in battle, as well as lovable and even a little dopey (without being outright stupid, like his IV self) in his victory animations and endings.

He's still Superman, he still goes on fantastical adventures to help people, he's still a deeply loving and compassionate soul whose face beams with joy and affection and who's got wonderful eyes and a great smile. It's just that this smile has a couple of mismatched stick-out teeth or some missing ones, and he's got a crooked smile some people take as smug or malicious, he’s got a strongman’s gut instead of a bodybuilder’s abs, his nose is a little busted (maybe he’s had too many crash landings), and his hair is a little wild or greasy, and he doesn't exactly have very good people skills because of how others usually react to him and, y'know, he doesn't get the kind of publicity Superman would get despite doing ostensibly the same things. He’s not deformed, he’s incredibly intelligent and capable, but in comparison to how superheroes are usually allowed to look, he might as well be Bizarro in the public eye.

It becomes a running gag that people tend to assume some nearby fireman or cop was the one who rescued the hundred orphans out of a burning building single-handedly, meanwhile he's getting accosted off-panel by police officers who think he set the building on fire, or think they can bully this weird man dressed funny. He goes to rescue old people in peril and occasionally they yell at him that they don't have any money. He doesn't get asked to lead superhero meetings or teams even though many in the community advocate for just how much he does for the world, he gets censored out of tv broadcasts or group shots (even his face is sometimes pixelated when they do show him), people invite him on talk shows and don't really let him talk or assume they got the wrong guy. He goes to rescue a woman dangling off a building, and then he gets attacked by like three different superhero teams who assume he must have kidnapped the poor damsel. He was the first superhero, he is the strongest of them all still, but he never really gets credit for it, it nor does he even want to. None of this at all stops him or deters him, except for some occasionally funny reactions.

This never really changes for him, he doesn't really earn people's approval nor does he have to, instead the stories, outside of the gags and adventures you’d expect from a comic strip, veer more towards others learning to be less judgmental and him learning ways to better approach people. He isn't any lesser than Superman just because he doesn't look like most people would want him to look and he doesn't have to look like Superman. Really I think we could use more superheroes that don’t look all so uniformly pretty.

Again, probably not a take that would work for Clark proper, but it’s one way I would take a shot at doing Superman with my own

I have other stuff in the works for this character but I'd like to keep them to better work on them for now, but yeah, these are three of my shots at developing a Pulp Superman.

Alternatively here's a fourth idea that's more pulp than all of these: Join up Nicholas Cage with Panos Cosmatos again, or whatever weird indie director he decides to pair up with next, and let them do whatever the hell they want with Superman. Give us Mandy Superman. Superman vs The Color Out of Space. Superman vs Five Nights at Freddy's. Superman’s quest to find THE LAST PIG OF KRYPTON. Anything goes.

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Chapter Thirteen

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more. don’t forget to read the prologue, it’s important to the story!

INEFFABLE – Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 

Chapter Thirteen

The Crows were ducked away in a shed, as safe as they could be for the moment. Kaz had emptied his pockets, placing everything he had on the table. A couple Ravkan coins and bills, and not much else.

Inej was grimacing. “Is this all we have left?”

She groaned, clutching her side, taking a deep breath. “Jesper, my bag.”

She pulled up her shirt to reveal a deep wound on her abdomen just as Jesper had turned around. He gagged, averting his eyes.

“Mother of Saints.”

Elham chuckled, helping Inej lean back against a stack of hay on the floor so she could have better access to the wound. She lowered her to the ground, helping hold her shirt up, not missing Kaz’s look of concern. She turned back to Inej, watching her grab things out of her bag.

“It’s not healing on its own. I need to stitch it.”

Elham glanced at Kaz and Jesper’s uneasy faces, giving them a grin.

“Don’t worry, I happen to specialize in stab wounds. Granted, I’m normally on the other side of them, but that’s alright, I’ve had enough sticks myself to know how to stitch them up.”

Kaz turned his head away as Elham threaded the needle, handing it to Inej. “How long before you can travel.”

Inej was quick to respond. “Not long. Where?”

“Ketterdam.”

Elham whipped around to face him, but he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Earlier, she was so sure that they’d either get the kruge, and she’d be safe from the Menagerie, or they wouldn’t make it back to Ketterdam, and it wouldn’t matter whether they got it or not. But to go back now, and empty handed, she would almost certainly have to go.

“Between our dwindling funds, lack of time, and conflicting interests, it’s time we cut our losses.”

He moved to go outside, and Elham called after him. “Kaz.”

He didn’t look at her, stepping out the door.

“Kaz!”

He was already gone.

Jesper scoffed. “I guess the Bastard misses the Barrel.”

Elham shook her head, willing the tears not to fall, turning her attention back to Inej. “Hey, love. Let’s get this fixed, yeah?”

Inej took a deep breath as Elham grabbed the needle, hooking it through her skin. She pulled the skin taught, trying to get it done as quickly as she could.

Jesper groaned, gagging, having to turn his head.

Inej scoffed. “You can watch a bullet tear through a man, but a needle’s too much.”

“It...yeah, well, you see, bullets are bam, in and out. That’s...just...ugh!"

Elham laughed, letting Inej take the needle and finish it up. Jesper was still groaning.

“Where’d you learn to do that?”

“When I was at the Menagerie.”

“Yeah, but why would you...oh. That’s dark.”

“Which is why I can’t go back.”

Elham’s smile fell from her face, her laughter dying. It was bad enough that Inej had to go through all of that pain, but now it was looking like she would have to as well. She knew she would be able to handle it, and even if she couldn’t, she would go on anyway. Heleen would get what was coming to her one way or another.

Elham swallowed. “You’re not going back. You know that.”

Inej’s eyes clouded, and Elham watched her try and fight tears. She quickly gave her a smile, grabbing her hand.

“It's ok, it's ok! We’re both gonna be fine, yeah? Right, Jesper?”

He tried his best to lighten the mood, but his face was full of pity, and Elham knew in that moment that Inej had told him about her deal with Heleen.

“Yeah, that's right, love. Inej, I bet if you told Kaz that story, I think he’d murder Heleen himself.”

Elham chuckled. “Saints, if he doesn’t, I will.”

---

It was nightfall now, and Inej was well enough to stand and move around. Elham led her outside, where Kaz was sitting on a wooden box, staring into the flames. She led Inej over, before taking a seat next to Kaz.

Inej stayed standing, handing Kaz his cane. “Jesper fixed your cane.”

He took it from her, bringing it close to him. He rested his hand on the Crows head. Elham noticed how he almost seemed more at ease with it, like it was another limb, in the same way that her sword was like another limb to her. And, Saints, did she miss her sword.

He said nothing, not even a thank you, and Elham gave him a look. He sighed, clenching his jaw. Inej turned back to head inside, when Kaz called after her.

“You were right.”

Inej turned back to him. “About what?”

“The Sun Summoner. You were right. She’s real. I played it over and over in my head. None of it’s a trick. The light was hers.”

“So, what? Kaz Brekker finally believes in Saints?”

“Hardly.”

“But you just said that--”

“I said Alina Starkov is a Grisha with the power to manipulate light. She’s a girl with a gift, not some savior of lore.”

“Fine. Kaz, if not Saints, what do you believe in?”

Kaz glanced at Elham, and she held her breath, meeting his gaze. He turned back to Inej.

“Myself.”

Inej scoffed. “Why’d I even ask?”

“And you. And Jesper...and Elham. My Crows.”

“Because we flock to your bidding? Like the animals of vengeance you named us after?”

Elham laughed quietly. “I happen to like crows.”

“Crows don’t just remember the faces of people who wronged them. They also remember those who were kind. They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for.”

He was talking to Inej still, but he was looking at Elham.

Inej nodded at him, heading back inside. “Thank you, Kaz.”

And then she was gone. Elham was left next to Kaz. They sat in silence for a moment, before Kaz spoke up.

“I knew, you know.”

She faced him, and he was already looking at her. She felt her cheeks heat up under his stare. “Knew what?”

“That you’re a Grisha.”

Her eyes widened, and her face contorted with confusion. “What do you mean you knew?”

“Of course I knew. How could I not? I notice everything about you.”

Elham was hiding a smile now, eyes watering. “Like?”

He scoffed, exasperated.

“Like? Like everything. Like how you run warmer than everyone else. That was one of the first signs. That night I broke my leg, and you had to help me back to the Slat. Your hand touched the back of my neck, and you were warm. Unnaturally warm. I couldn’t figure it out then, but as I put the pieces together over time, it made sense. I guess that’s just another part of you being an Inferni, or just another thing different about your powers than the other Inferni.”

Elham felt a tear roll down her cheek.

“I think you being warm to the touch helps. When I touch people, and their skin touches mine, it’s like I’m back in the harbour with those bodies again. Cold. It’s so fucking cold, and it makes my skin crawl. It’s like rubbing against sandpaper. But when I touch you...it’s not like that. It’s still difficult for me, but not unbearable.”

She was in awe of his words, but he kept talking about the other things he noticed about her, rambling.

“Like how you like to rile Jesper up, just to get a reaction out of him. Like how you sit in that chair in my office in the most uncomfortable position you could possibly be in, just to spite me. Like how you were fearless when you offered yourself up in Inej’s place to Heleen, because you’re just that protective over your family. Like how you’re ruthless when you’re the Valkyrie.”

She could feel the tears streaming down her face, but she ignored it, listening..

“How could I not notice all of that? I mean, Saints, El, you’re...you’re--”

She caught her breath, asking. “I’m what?”

“You’re fucking ineffable.”

He took his cane and tapped the end of it to her ankle, the faintest smile on his face.

“I missed doing that.”

She felt a sob catch in her throat, and she quickly wiped at her eyes. Her mind was racing, she couldn’t think of the right words to say. He beat her to it.

He murmured. “I have something for you.”

He pulled a sword out from under the bench. She gasped as he picked it up and unsheathed it. It was absolutely beautiful. The hilt was pure matte black, with shining silver engraved all throughout. It was heavy in her hand, the weight familiar. She sheathed it, turning to him, in awe.

“I found it in the Darkling’s carriage, under one of the seats. Figured it was fitting for you to have it.”

Elham belted it around her waist, strapping it to her back through the harnessing on her back.

“Thank you, Kaz. I really missed having one.”

He almost grinned. “I needed my Valkyrie fully functional again. The Grisha power is a plus, but I’ve always preferred you with a sword. Now, what are you gonna name it?”

She turned to him, confused. “Name it?”

“All of the good swords have names.”

She nodded, pondering for a bit, before a smirk landed on her face.

Inej named her knives after her Saints, Elham would name her sword after her sins.

Afterall, she was no Saint.

“Wrath.”

Kaz scoffed, letting out a dark chuckle. “Wrath. I like it.”

She smiled at him again. “Thank you, Kaz. I mean it.”

He knew she wasn’t just talking about the sword, and that she meant thank you for everything. For sticking with her all those years, for giving her a place in the Dregs, for making her the Valkyrie. For everything.

He just nodded. “Come on, let’s go show Jesper your new sword. He’s a little scared of you with one, did you notice that?”

She giggled, and a grin appeared on her face. Kaz would never admit it, but he loved watching her happy like this.

“Oh, I know.”

---

A/N - i was so excited to write this chapter, it has some of my favorite stuff in it that i wanted to write. not entirely loving it, but it's decent i guess. we still have about an episode and a half of content left, a few more chapters to go. i wanted to get this one out because i know the last one was shorter. i hope y'all liked this chapter, let me know. thank you for the support!

[perspectivestarters]

Perspective's Sentence Starters; Jack Stauber's OPAL

"We see you."

"Your troubles are miles away."

"In our eyes you'll stay."

"There she is!"

"That's my girl!"

"Go on, you can do it."

"Attagirl!"

"What do we always say?"

"Don't mind the house across the street."

"It's not where your attention 'ought to be."

"You're looking tired."

"(Name)? Is that you?"

"I need you to bring me my cigarettes."

"Don't think about hiding them again."

"I know it's you who's doing that."

"It's evil to help people who don't need help."

"You're far more interested in me than anything you've got going on."

"Why do they just keep going on and on with that..."

"Why does it sound so easy to breathe on TV?"

"I'm popular here."

"They want my soul."

"They fight over me like dogs."

"They dance too, I assume."

"What the hell is taking you--?"

"It sounds so easy..."

"Why aren't you saying anything?"

"You're... you're not (name)."

"What are you doing in my house?"

"Get out of this house!"

"Look at me."

"They're going to be kicking themselves."

"I actually look really good in that!"

"Fix it."

"I often find myself at my wit's end in here."

"That's just part of my journey, you know?"

"I'm like a tiny growing thing."

"You could hold me in the palm of your hand."

"Hold on a second!"

"You act like I'm a complete stranger."

"Everybody's so mad at me, like, I'm growing though, like why be so negative?"

"Well, I'll just tell you."

"They turned me down, now I live my nightmare."

"Gotta be seen by someone out there."

"Now I sit here in reflection chamber."

"I'm on the brink of visual epiphany."

"Life is a costume away."

"I can shift, create a rift with beauty and with grin."

"God is in my skin!"

"Crafting the world its next new savior."

"I don't really see why we always have to talk about these sorts of things."

"It puts things into perspective for you, I'm sure."

"Hey, where are you going?"

"You know how this makes me feel!"

"Who's that?"

"You're you being a person today, huh?"

"If I wait, (Name), and I sit still, it will arrive."

"You should be more considerate honestly, but I forgive you."

"I forgive every single one of you, every night."

"It's a virtuous cycle."

"How did this get so bad?"

"I feel terrible for all the things... I feel terrible."

"You and I don't live, (Name), we survive."

"Our adversaries are in denial."

"They don't know the wrong they do."

"They never repent how I want them to."

"You're just like me."

"You're just as powerless as I am, (Name)... see?"

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

The Leauge of villains in a horror movie (no quirk au)

I just think itd be interesting

I'm more a fan of horror books than movies, because I get scared easily with visual content. BUT I'd do the best I can. Here it goes:

THE YEAR OF THE DEMON LORD AU :

The story is about a little boy (Shimura Tenko) who was sold to a demon (AFO) by his father (Shimura Kotaro), who was trying to bring his mother (Shimura Nana) back to life.

The demon tricked Kotaro and he only brought the ghost of Nana back. To mark the little boy as his, the demon changed Tenko's name to Tomura. His hair also changed from black to white and he got permanent scars along his face and neck, the a curse that would be always screacting.

The story cuts to the future, where we see an older Tomura playing with his train set. Nao, Kotaro's wife, is arguing with him because she refuse to let the demon take the kid. That night when the demon appears, Nao makes her choice: crying, she tells the demon to take Kotaro in exchange of letting her son live for another 15 years. The demon accepts the deal but in exchange he decides he's gonna take the lives of all the Shimuras one by one, whenever he wants.

Nao takes her family and begins her career against the clock: she needs to find someone who can fight the demon to free her son.

She doesn't hide to his son what is happening. Tomura knows he's cursed and a demon is looking for him. But Nao also teaches him about how his grandmother, Nana, used to fight against demons all the time. Tomura is not alone and he can't let the demon take him, because he is a special boy, she knows it. Whatever happens, the demon can't take him.

Within the first 5 years, Tomura lost both his maternal grandparents. Tomura is now 10 years old, but they haven't found someone to fight the demon. Instead, Nao has spend those years finding someone to teach Tomura how to resist the demon's influence. His name is Kurogiri and he's a young specialist on fighting satanic influences. He becomes like a father to Tomura and Hana, something Nao is grateful for.

Another 5 years go by and Nao dissappears. Hana is 18 years old, Tomura is 15 years old. The grieve causes Tomura to forget most of the past 15 years old of his life. Hana starts her theological studies as Kurogiri helps Tomura develop his supernatural abilities. They don't tell Tomura the truth, because they want him to have some normal years.

Tomura gets some friends. They all are strange and weird as him, almost all of them having some or other form of connection with the supernatural, even if they don't know about it.

Hana and Kurogiri agree that it's best for him to keep some close friends to help him. Still, they're time is running out.

Tomura doesn't know why her sister acts so strange. She's jumpy, scared, tearful and constantly worrying over him. She fights a lot with his friends, he goes paranoid.

They have a fight. Tomura leaves their home. After some hours, Hana panics and calls everyone to go after him. She barely finds him and is able to apologize when she sees the demon lurking in the shadows. Hana tells him to run but Tomura doesn't. He stays there while the demon takes his sister.

Everything comes back to him in a flash. He faints. When he wakes up, he finds out Kurogiri was the one who saved him, but he got his own curse for getting in between the demon and him.

With all his family dead and his mentor injured, Tomura needs to make a decision. Is he going to expend the rest of his years looking for a savior or is he going to fight the demon himself?

Tomura dissappears. Hana is dead. The Villain Club (the way Tomura decides to refer to his friends), are madly worried. Tomura has always helped them, he was always there when they needed him, so how can the let Tomura just dissappear like that?

Magne uses her power to contact a ghost to help them. Most of them are terrified and won't even talk to her. Compress is her anchor to the real world, Twice is the bait, so Toga is the one protecting Magne from the ghost in the spirit realm. Since Spinner is not spiritually sensitive and Dabi can't control his powers, they are the ones protecting the others in the real world.

Toga, Spinner and Dabi are doing their best, but there are too many ghost attacking them. They are almost past the limit when Magne finds the ghost of Nana.

She explain the situation as quickly as she can, before begging them to rush, giving them Tomura's location. He plans to contact the demon behind Kurogiri's back to get done with the whole deal.

Tomura is not strong enough, but he's tired of watching the people he loves die. He knows in his bones that if he asks his friends for help, they won't refuse. But getting involved equals getting kill, and that's something he can't deal with.

I bet you already know that everything goes wrong from this point further.

The demon needs some time to properly possess Tomura. The Villian Club are on their way, but know the demon knows that too.

They crash. Magne gets badly injured and she just knows the demon won't let her live, not when she was the one who contacted Nana. That's why she tells the rest to go save Tomura while she stays behind. She's gonna use her own blood, flesh and bones to create a protection for them. Human sacrifices are powerful, and even more when the person gives their love willingly.

Tomura is fighting the demon's will. Their in an abandoned building, one the Villian Club needs to break in. Except now they're not only dealing with ghosts, but with demon possessed humans.

This time, Compress and Twice are the ones to keep the demon's servants at bay. They find Kurogiri is already there, but there are too many. He orders the rest to keep going.

Spinner, Dabi and Tog fight their way to the room where Tomura is. While Toga is on transe to properly kill the demons, Spinner needs to carry her on his back and keep her safe in the real world. Dabi is able to kill both demons and humans in the spirit and real world, but it activates his curse and the more he uses his senses, the more his body burns.

When they reach Tomura, is almost too late.

Toga almost collapses for just staring into the demon's real form. Spinner needs to wake her. Dabi can use his arms properly anymore.

That's when the ghost of Magne appears. She's not dead, thanks to Giran and Mustard finding her on time. Using Giran as an anchor and with the help of Giran, she finds a way to contact the Villain Club to give them the final piece Nana told her: the demon has always wanted Tomura because he has the same special ability she was born with: the can bind demons inside of them to destroy them from within.

All they need to do is bring Tomura's consciousness back and tell him that he can contact his dead family, because every life the demon has ever reclaimed keeps living inside of him. A demon as old as that one... He must has thousands and thousands of ghost inside of him.

Dabi and Toga take the most damage, because they're both trying to slow down the demon in both realms the best they can. Spinner is in charge on making Tomura wake up. But how?

He remembers Tomura once confessed that, in order to wake from a nightmare, he created a copy of his father on his subconscious. Whenever the copy of his father put his hand on Tomura's face, he knew he was in danger and his instincts kicked him awake.

With Dabi and Toga defeated, with the possessed humans surrounding the rest of the Villain Club, Spinner tries one last time: he let's the demon capture him, let him think he's done. And when he lowers his guard, Spinner puts his hand on Tomura's face.

For a second, just the laughter of the demon. And then...

“Spinner?”

Spinner almost cries out loud. Or maybe he does. He can't talk, so it's a blessing that Dabi has kept himself awake enough to yell Tomura to contact his family. When Tomura retreats, the demon already attempting to regain control.

The Villain Club uses their last sparks of energy to anchor Tomura. Like hands holding him all over his body, reminding him he's not alone.

And that's when Tomura remembers his mother, his sister, his grandparents. Nana.

He cries and kicks and shouts and bites his way down down down into the demon memory, reclaiming all those lives who took, asking them for help. They are like specks of dust floating on the air, slowly retaking their mortal form. And they are so many... An army of the death.

When he reaches his family, he's tired. He can't move anymore. He closes his eyes while he hears how the ghost tear the demon apart. And he feels gentle hands, gentle voices, gentle smiles.

With the delicate touch of a pair of colorful wings, Tomura feels a kiss on his cheek.

“I'm sorry I had to leave you. Could you forgive me, please? About that night?”

Tomura begins to cry.

Hana, his sister. He'd recognize her voice anywhere.

“It was a silly fight. I was never angry with you anyway. And you're here now.”

She laughs, taking his hand to guide him out of the darkness and he misses her so much.

He knows he can't stay there.

He let's his mother hug him and kiss his forehead, smoothing his hair. He promises to take care of his scars and scratches. L

“My brave little boy, I knew you could do it.”

He let's his grandparents tell him how proud they are. They don't accept the apology of Tomura for being the reason they are dead.

“It was our choice, a great one. We're glad of what we did, so don't regret it for us.”

When he opens his eyes, he's at the hospital. Apparently no one else died, but scared a bunch of people to death for suddenly reappearing with a bunch of injuries, covered in blood and mud.

The Villain Club gets to be angry with Tomura for not asking them for help and then they get to hug the hell out of him.

And if this is a horror movie, why didn't I kill more people? Because this is my au and I get to save them all for being the author.

Happy fucking ending you all.

And remember: I never told any of you that the demon was dead, because no one ever saw him dying.

[shewhowantsmouseears]

morgwing meet-up messy drabble

My year-long-fic-break has been slightly broken, but don’t expect too much. I had enough brain juice in me to write this 3 page silliness.

Still riding the high from @queenie-draws-stuff ‘s rad Morgana redesign, I decided to write a potential “how they met” deal, combining the original Fungus Amongus quotes/situation with Queenie’s Goth Rock set-up.

Additional notes now I think of them before jumping right to what is basically “mel enjoys writing simps”

The Band uses a We Will Rock You style song (been listening to this cover) to hypnotize her fans into attacking Darkwing and the gang.

Halestorm’s cover of Bad Romance is definitely suitable for attacking and flirting with Darkwing at the same time.

At one point, Darkwing gets her guitar away from her and he’s confident “Ahaha! Now that I’ve taken away your magic, you’re helpless!” And Morgana smiles... then bursts into cackles. “Oh, Dark Darling... my guitar isn’t the source of my power. It’s merely a conduit.” (”a... a what”) “In other words...” her hands and eyes glow. “It’s time for the encore, baby.”

OKAY TIME FOR THE SHORT WRITTEN THING ITSELF

In hindsight, this wasn’t the best plan, but in his defense, it worked all the time on a TV show he’d watched as a child. Darkwing paused to think about that train of logic, and pondered if perhaps he should stop trying to plan his investigations that way and instead follow his own instincts next time.

 “OWWWWW BONES DO NOT BEND THAT WAY!”

 If there was a next time. He had assumed the whole goth rock mutant monster image was just that, an image. The guy with two heads, the girl with one eye, the behemoth of a drummer? All of it was just costumes and acting! So when announced his presence in his typical overly dramatic fashion, he assumed they would cower in fear before offering their assistance. Instead, they had jumped him and were now holding his arms behind his back and threatening to tie his limbs into knots. As he continued to squirm in place, he once more tried to plead his innocence.

 “I’m here to HELP!” He cried out, nervously noticing the two-headed terror cracking his knuckles while the one-eyed wonder was pulling out various sharp instruments from her purse, and they definitely weren’t the musical kind. “I was just looking for clues! You know those robberies that have been happening around here, right?! There’s a connection between them and your band!”

 “And now we’re about to disconnect your head from your neck!” Said the left head, and the right headed nodded vigorously.

 Darkwing winced, as the others advanced on him, the grip on his arms tightening. If this was his last day on earth, he really wished his last words to Gosalyn hadn’t been “Remember to run the dishwasher after homework.” He closed his eyes, his brain struggling to think of how to get him out of this sticky situation…

 “HEY!” A sharp - yet familiar – voice broke through the scene. “What’s going on here?! We do not treat our fans this way! Put him down!”

 It took less than a second for Darkwing to recognize the voice – this was the singer of the band, after all. When Gosalyn had showed him the link to her new favorite indie band, Darkwing had taken a compulsory listen without paying attention to the visuals, as he was busy trying to pin down the strange case of robberies where the victims couldn’t remember being robbed at all. The singer was definitely talented, a strong but sultry voice that Darkwing certainly wouldn’t have minded listening to on a loop. But it’d been also terribly distracting, so he hadn’t tried to give the music video any attention. Once again, this proved to have been not the best idea in hindsight.

 Because then he would have prepared for the absolute bombshell that walked through the curtains.

 Darkwing opened one eye to see his savior, and then both eyes were not only open, but they were also quite wide in shock. The woman in question was a leggy stunner, her black and white hair parted over one side and trailing down her eerily pale feathers like a shadowy walk lit by moonlit. Sharp green eyes pierced right through his heart, analyzing him as he stood there in a slack-jawed stupor. She adjusted her blood-red guitar over her back, the crimson and black spider-web outfit giving him the feeling he’d be the fly that eagerly walked into this parlor any day. She rested one hand on her hip, and snapped her fingers – even her nails were unique – long, sharp, yellow, and deadly.

 Darkwing had no more time to realize he had a type and she was it when he was let go and dropped to the floor. As he scrambled to get up and dust himself off, the one-eyed woman huffed. “We caught this weirdo sneaking around here, Morgana.”

 Morgana held up a hand, signaling for silence. “I got this, Cornea.” She looked Darkwing up and down once more before smiling in amusement. “I believe this is where you introduce yourself.” She offered her hand to shake. “Nice to meet you, mister…?”

 “D-Dingwing Dork.”  Darkwing sputtered, his palm feeling incredibly sweaty in her delicate hand. He was quick to realize his mistake, yelped, and fumbled with his hands and hat as he tried to make his brain calm down. “DARK! Darkwing Duck! Dark-Darkwing Duck.” After a hard throat clear, he tried to pretend he hadn’t made an absolute fool of himself several times, tipping his hat politely, doing a gentlemanly bow, and ignoring the various eyerolls of the other band-mates. “At your service.”

 “What an unusual name,” Morgana commented, lightly tilting his beak up with one of her fingers, closing the gap between them for a few but very, very personal seconds. “But then you appear to be very unusual… I like that.” When she pulled away, it was a sheer miracle Darkwing didn’t fall forward, though he certainly leaned in enough to make it a close call. “We were just wrapping up rehearsal. We want to close up shop early, what with all those midnight robberies going on.”

 Darkwing stopped for a second, befuddled. “Hang on. How did you know they were midnight robberies?” He was fairly certain that was something the press hadn’t leaked, and he’d only just figured out the timeline a day before.

 Morgana froze in place – eyes quickly shooting to her fellow players – before rolling her shoulders, readjusting her guitar so that it slid back into her arms. “I… deduced it.”

 Maybe if Launchpad and Gosalyn were there – the former to ask more questions, the latter to smack some sense into him – Darkwing would have taken greater notice of that lengthy pause. Instead? She deduced it, he thought, his heart doing cartwheels. My kinda woman. Despite his clear problematic infatuation, his brain did have enough cells left to ask another important question. “Isn’t it kind of… peculiar… to hold a rehearsal this late?”

 Morgana plucked a few notes off her guitar, walking back onto the front of the stage, the curtains now perfectly parted to show the moon shining down from the ceiling – the venue, such as it was, had certainly seen better days. But now the various holes above seemed to be an improvement rather than something that needed fixing. “I enjoy the night,” she answered, and then playfully added, “Besides, the sun is so harsh on my skin.”

 “You know…” Darkwing casually strolled up to Morgana’s side, his previous predicament forgotten already, “I’m something of a creature of the night myself.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

 Morgana chuckled quietly. “I bet we have a lot in common, Darkwing. In fact…” She lightly nudged the guitar’s neck into Darkwing’s actual neck, enjoying the audible tiny ‘eep’ his flustered mouth made. “I bet we could make beautiful music together.”

[letterboxd]

We Bought a Cryptozoo.

As their kaleidoscopic new film Cryptozoo lands in theaters, filmmakers Dash Shaw and Jane Samborski talk to Jack Moulton about misguided compassion, the beholder’s share, Akira, Watership Down and life imitating art.

“Occasionally we watch a horror movie together, but I like to do things while I watch and Dash wants the lights down. We spend so much time together working so when it comes time to relax, I want to be as far away from him as possible.” —Jane Samborski

“Jurassic Park on acid.” This is the mystical world of Cryptozoo, the new film from personal and professional couple Jane Samborski and Dash Shaw. Cryptozoo takes place in a 1960s hippie society where mythological beings—griffins, krakens, unicorns, gorgons and the like, collectively known as cryptids—live among humans, though unhappily, since people have a habit of hunting them down.

We meet Lauren (voiced by Lake Bell), a protector of cryptids, on a mission to rescue a baku—a Japanese supernatural creature that devours dreams—from the military, who plan to weaponize its powers. However, in collecting all the cryptids into a sanctuary that feels more like a mall (echoes of Disney’s Epcot are plainly hinted at), the cryptozookeepers begin to realize that those they’re trying to safeguard are likely better off without their assistance.

Loaded with clear allegories for xenophobia and colonialism, Cryptozoo has proven both a hit and a miss among Letterboxd members with the nature of its metaphors, even if we can all agree it absolutely skewers white-people-savior complexes. Shaw and Samborski placed careful focus on the casting, for example, enlisting Greek actress Angeliki Papoulia to portray Phoebe, a Medusa-esque character from Greek mythology, who assists Lauren in her journey to locate the baku, and provides an essential perspective and critique on Lauren’s overzealous activism.

Steeped in detailed and surreal world-building, the kaleidoscopic, hand-drawn approach can become pure sensory overload. More than a few of our members felt compelled to light up first and check it out again if it ever hits Adult Swim. But among those happy to be overwhelmed, Andrew found himself “captivated by its tactile imagery; its texture and sketch and color, the full-body chills and immense sense of self—it is beautiful and passionate.”

Cryptozoo premiered earlier this year at Sundance, where it picked up the NEXT Innovator Award for its makers. (Although only Shaw is credited as director, Cryptozoo uses an ‘A Film By’ credit to emphasize Samborski’s visionary contribution as animation director.) The couple had previously collaborated on Shaw’s debut feature, My Entire High School Sinking into the Sea, which is much more of a roughly sketched-out daydream, whereas Cryptozoo represents a more serious shift, and a step up in ambition and craft.

Making films is far from Shaw’s only enterprise. After graduating from the School of Visual Arts in Manhattan, he has written comic books, graphic novels, lyrics and plays. Meanwhile, Samborski has appeared in several films as an actress, and lent her animation skills to productions including Netflix’s Thirteen Reasons Why. Among their animation influences, the pair have mentioned the films of Ralph Bakshi, Suzan Pitt’s Asparagus, René Laloux’s Fantastic Planet, Takeshi Tamiya’s Astroboy and the century-old films of Winsor McCay and Lotte Reiniger (especially The Adventures of Prince Achmed).

Shaw and Samborski sat down with Jack Moulton for a chat about expanding the scale of their work, life imitating art, the “heft and violence of Watership Down” and the best comic-book film ever made.

‘Cryptozoo’ director Dash Shaw and animation director Jane Samborski.

What stuck out to me when I finished the film was your ‘A Film By’ credit; it wasn’t just Dash, it had Jane’s name as well. How were the directing responsibilities divided in order to explain that credit? Dash Shaw: It just felt like the most accurate way to describe the movie.

Jane Samborski: I make a lot of the decisions about character acting and I’m taking the voices and using them to inform my understanding about the characters. In some cases, I was able to use video reference of the actors, but most of their physical mannerisms are coming from my brain, so in that way I’m taking a directorial role. While there’s a huge amount of the aesthetic direction that’s coming from me, Dash is definitely the one steering the overall ship. There were a few instances in the film where I got a little off-message and he pulled me back.

DS: Maybe it’s even more confusing with animated movies because people are doing a lot of different things, so when it comes to crediting we talk about what we think makes the most sense. We could have written our names on the backgrounds to try and figure out who drew what, but it just seemed like a film by the both of us.

JS: Everything is by us, except this thing, and this thing, and this thing…

What I found really interesting about the film is the way that all the characters are so fallible. It demonstrates how an egocentric allyship can do more harm than good. Why was it important for you to explore that idea of misguided compassion? DS: I think that that happened while trying to do something else. I had seen this Winsor McCay short, The Centaurs, and I wanted to write something Jane would enjoy painting. My first idea was about mythological beings, and then the next idea was that they were from actual mythologies in our culture and instead of being a fantasy world, they’re in our world.

That is when my mind went to these things that you talked about, like museums attempting to take imaginations from all over different cultures and introduce them to the public, and how that often damages the power of those artworks. There’s definitely a Cryptozoo movie that could’ve been made by a different person that didn’t get into any of this stuff, but because of my personality, those things ended up being embedded in the script.

You embraced the opportunity to utilize thin lines in Cryptozoo, as opposed to the thicker lines of My Entire High School Sinking into the Sea, which opens up what you can achieve cinematically. Can you talk about expanding that scale and how that may have approached your limitations? JS: It definitely was one of the first aesthetic decisions that was made in the film. There’s a broad simplicity to High School Sinking, so we wanted to zero in on fewer but more specific drawings. I was doing quite a bit of minor puppet work, especially in the latter parts of High School Sinking. I really love working in that way, so this was a match that played to an aesthetic that I responded to for a long time. It was logistically a lot more difficult as it’s very hard to turn in space with a puppet, so there were definitely times where we would run up against a problem and then throw out our rulebook and do cell animation. But I think that is the joy of setting up your own rules—you keep them as long as they’re useful to you.

Your film acknowledges very early on that “utopias never work out”. On the other hand, perhaps utopias never work out in movies because they’re just not dramatically interesting to explore when they succeed. What are your thoughts on sculpting a utopia in commercialized fiction? DS: You kind of know that it’s going to fail as soon as the movie starts. It’s a good fall. I find utopian art very inspiring and beautiful and that’s what I like about a lot of the art of the 1960s. I would not put this movie up against that imagery.

JS: Yeah, a utopia is certainly something we all want to experience but not necessarily something we want to hear a story about.

DS: That’s something that’s famously said about what’s really powerful about early seasons of Star Trek, and seeing all of these different people working together.

I imagine it was strange to be working on Cryptozoo for so many years, and then you have a storming-the-capital scene in your film, which premiered at Sundance only a couple of weeks after it happened in the real world (for very different reasons). How did that make you feel regarding the film’s timing? JS: It was a bit of a freak out!

DS: It was strange, even if we didn’t have that line in our movie, just to see that going on. It made me think of this art school thing, the “beholder’s share”, where the artists make 80 percent of the work in their time and place, and then the last twenty percent is completed in the viewer’s mind, in their own time and their place. You have to love that hand-off.

JS: The world changed so much over the course of making the film. Dash wrote the film before Trump was elected President. We started out with a script that we thought was talking about really interesting things that felt a little bit further away. As we worked on the project, it got closer and more real, so we just hoped that we were able to talk about it with honesty. The project feels like something larger than us and that’s really exciting.

When you look at some of the reactions, you can see how it’s really easy for audiences to dismiss the movie as too weird, but I do feel there are many accessible and mainstream elements to the plot. What are your instincts for playing in and out of the comfort zone? DS: One of my first ideas for wanting to make animated movies is that they would have a pop-art quality. They would be blockbuster movies that have been defamiliarized—they’ve been messed up, disorientated, changed, altered in some way. High School Sinking is like Titanic, and Cryptozoo is like Jurassic Park. There’s a blockbuster movie inside of them, but we keep veering away or disrupting it in some way that might make it seem stranger. It was right there as one of the first missions of making these films.

JS: I feel very differently. I love the experimental stuff, but if there wasn’t a clear story through-line, I would get bored. It’s the perennial music-video problem—it’s all gloss and no heft. So we have that clear action-adventure storyline to pull you through this crazy ride. We feel differently about what it’s doing for the audience, but it seems to be working, whichever one of us is right!

Are there any hidden or background details in the animation that you’re concerned people will miss? JS: For me, if somebody felt that there was so much going on that they wanted to watch it two or three times and they found something new each time, that would be the best thing ever. The idea that I would be able to make something that is worth multiple viewings far outstrips worrying that somebody is going to miss something I did.

What was the film that made you want to become a filmmaker? DS: I wonder if Jane is going to say Watership Down…

JS: I am! That was my favorite movie as a child. I liked to torture my friends with it. It’s particularly that segment right at the beginning when they tell the myth of El-Ahrairah—it’s so expressive and less representational, but it also has this heft and violence. It was definitely the first adult animated film that I saw. My parents wouldn’t buy it for me because it was at the local library, so we’d rent it again and again and I’d watch that beginning segment over and over and it would get scratchier and scratchier, so eventually the VHS just snapped from me watching it so many times.

DS: I would have to really dive deep to come up with a really good answer to that but for some reason the one that pops into my head right now is Todd Haynes’ Poison. I saw it at the School of Visual Arts. Poison felt like a collage movie with three different parts that kept pulling a special combination of ingredients. It felt like an art film and it also had very overt genre elements that were being used in an unusual way. It was one of the key movies to me that had a great independent spirit.

El-Ahrairah faces a challenge in the prologue to ‘Watership Down’ (1978).

What animated films have you seen recently that blew you away? DS: I want to plug an incredible movie we just saw at the Annecy International Animation Film Festival, Bubble Bath, which is a restored Hungarian film from 1980. I hope it will get a US release.

JS: We were also lucky enough to see an exhibit [at Annecy] for Michel Ocelot. I had seen the Kirikou films, which are phenomenal. I really like his work.

Do you have any movies that you often watch together? DS: We really don’t watch movies together. I wish she would watch movies with me!

JS: Occasionally we watch a horror movie together, but I like to do things while I watch and Dash wants the lights down. We spend so much time together working so when it comes time to relax, I want to be as far away from him as possible.

DS: I’m really glad we saw Bubble Bath together.

JS: That one was just amazing.

You’re a comic book writer, Dash. What’s the greatest comic-book movie ever? DS: Akira.

JS: Yeah, hands down.

Related content

Our animation correspondents Kambole Campell and Alicia Haddick in conversation about the 2021 Annecy International Animation Film Festival

Letterboxd’s Top 100 Animated Feature Films, a list by Rahat Ahmed

Vulture’s The 100 Sequences that Shaped Animation list on Letterboxd

Follow Jack on Letterboxd

‘Cryptozoo’ is currently screening in select US theaters.

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Nightmare Time Episode 1 Review: The Hatchetfield Ape-Man/Watcher World

I take a look at the first episode of Starkid’s new show Nightmare Time! Starkid, returns for a zoomcast, bringing back the casts of both Hatchefield plays for an anthology series of science fiction double feature picture shows! This week’s tales of terror:

The Hatchefield Ape-Man: A british heiress gets romanced by a shaved bigfoot with the help of everyone’s favorite kooky college professor. Forgotten fiances, murder and described nudity naturally insue. 

Watcher World: Bill and Alice return as Bill drags his daughter to a kitschy theme park for a day of family fun, which Alice enjoys and is as respectful about as much as you’d expect. As you’d also expect given Bill’s general luck, things take a turn for the Shining real quick. Spoilers and full review under the cut. 

Well this was a nice suprise. With the ongoing pandemic I genuinely did not think Starkid would be back anytime soon. Having just gotten back into them this years after several years of forgetting they existed via the Hatchetfield plays, I was pretty bummed, if understanding. So last week’s announcment of not only this series but a full scripted series from their sister production company the tin bros was a HUGE shot of happy I needed in this troubling times. Still need to watch spies are forver love the soundtrack nto important. 

Point is the Lang Brothers and their merry band of actors found a way to continue on via  format I didn’t realize existed outside of table reads but is a nice way to do things: The Zoomcast, basically a podcast done live on zoom, with the actors in plainclothes for the most part, with one person, in this case Nick Lang, reading out descriptions of what’s going on. Being a starkid production this also has musical director Matt Bohm playing accompaniment and pretaped if still via the actor’s own camera musical numbers. Overall while i’ts an understandably cheap production, only what costumes the actors have on hand and most props mimed, it WORKS, allowing for way more elaborate set pieces than the stage would allow and is anchored by Lang’s impeccable descriptions and the cast’s amazing as always acting really making the stories pop.  So things worked on a technical level despite having the barest of bones to work with. But did it work on a story level? Well yes, but if I ended my reviews with just that i’d have less than the 3 or 4 fans I do have, so without further ado, it’s nightmare time! The Intro: 

Now normally in my reviews I don’t talk about the intro because I come in mid way or because I just didn’t think to. This is an exception since 

A) I should be doing that anyway or at least when I cover a show’s first episode since intro’s are sometimes one of the most memorable parts of a show 

B) It’s a full musical number that’s been stuck in my head since the trailer for this series and has now set up an apartment there.  C) This series is a musical, if not to the same degree as the two plays before it, so it’d be weird NOT to talk about it’s signature song. 

So with that out of the way the intro.. is fucking impressive. Seriously taking disparate videos with probably as much as the directions “Sing this part of the song and be kind of creepy or alluring or whatever” and making it really flow? Good work, both to the starkids for bringing their a game to it as always and to Nick and Matt really did a good job   editing this together, musically and visually to be an abolute jawdrop. And somehow finding utterly stunning stock image animations that none of us realized were stock footage but still fit the tone perfectly. Just great stuff.  Some stray notes: Mariah is absolutely stunning in both voice and apperance in this, John Matheson’s bit as paul was great, and Jeff Blim of course got a great bit with his always astounding hair blowing in the breeze with him at full high pitch. Just an utterly great intro, and for Starkid’s first series in over a decade, and really ever but semantics, they really brought it. Good stuff. Onto the actual episode content. 

The Hatchetfield Ape-Man: Lucy, a british heiress played by Angela Giarratana, was saved by the legendary “Hatchefield Ape-Man”.. who apparently has a hyphen like spider-men because while sasquatches can do that. Point is she’s come back every year in the hopes of reuniting with her savior but has so far failed.  But as Lucy prepares to leave from this year’s failed expedition, an old friend finally gives her what she needs... old friend to us to her she’s just some grey haired lunatic who showed up out of the mist. Which while accurate, dosen’t quite quantify everyone’s favorite playwright/college professor/murderous psychopath/composer.

Yes at long last Professor Hidgens has returned! I honestly didn’t expect the anthology to bring in such a huge fan faviorite so soon. I mean I expected returning characters, mostly because the project allows old faviorites to come back for their own stories or for the stars of the musicals to get a chance at a much happier ending... there’s a lot of potetial there. That and let’s face it “Jane’s a Car” is a pretty dead giveaway it’s going to be about Tom’s dead wife and Tim’s dead mother coming back in horrible mash up of christine and my mother the car. Maybe. I could be wrong. I also doubt many of you know what my mother the car is and to that I say it’s an old sitcom i’m honestly suprised I know exists and know nothing about other than the title and it being about a son’s mom’s ghost possesing his car apparently. Well that and it was the basis for this. 

Point is, while I expected some returns, I wasn’t expecting one this large and this bombastic so soon, but BOY was it welcome.  So getting back on track after all that, HIdgens seemingly takes Lucy to meet her ape man, who goes by the name Klonk, played by everyone’s faviorite sexy caveman Joey Richter. Also it’s adorable he and Lauren share a streaming screen. I know practicality and all that but their engagment is genuinely a sweet thing to hear about at a time when the world’s going down the toilet fast. Fun Fact: I pegged the Ape-Man was either going to be Jeff or Joey, leaning towards Jeff, though given my love of Joey I wasn’t disapointed with him, especially with the twist... but I was EXASTIC to learn the answer was basically “Both.. kinda?”. But yeah Lucy soon bonds with the ape man, with HIdgens encouraging her since it’s more than he’s gotten out of Klonk in 11 months of looking after the guy, and this way they can get him to learn enough to decide what he wants for himself. 

So a few months, and some romantic bonding between woman and ape-man, pass but a wrench is thrown into Klonk’s wooing and attempt to tell lucy he loves her: Jonathan, Lucy’s just now mentioned fiance and royal dickhead played by Kurt Mega. And credit where it’s do whlie he clearly didn’t have to dress up, he did have a nice 50′s monster movie british person suit he put on.  Lucy is now conlficted and what not even though Jonathan is kind of an asshole who just wants to drag her back home. And i’ts not like Lucy didn’t keep in touch: she sent him texts and probably called, so i’ts not like he didn’t know she was here. He’s also a hunter for extra dick points as if he needed them.  Naturally when meeting his romantic rival he’s a dick.. but raises some valid questions: While Hidgens claim he shaved Konk due to lesions, there’s no mark of lesisons or the shaving. But his natural dickheadedness shines through and Jonathan talks about shooting Klonk before lucy takes his ring off and throws it and Jonathan goes after her.  Annnnd yeah turns out the disposable dickhead fiance for once is RIGHT. In a twist I did not remotley see coming but damn if it wasn’t clever, Klonk.. is Ted from TGWDLM and the plan was to seduce lucy with this con, marry her and then bump her off. It’s a hell of a twist and cleverly hidden since Joey’s such a starkid mainstay, it’s not a huge suprise he was Klonk and thus easily hid the fact he was also Ted. It’s clever stuff and pivots the story nicely. 

Ted is naturally a douchey as ever, going along with Hidgen’s plan to have him marry lucy then kill her and take her dough for themselves.. and unsuprisingly, so Hidgens can get Workin Boys off the ground. Granted there are easier ways to do this with the same scooby doo scheme: Just have HIdgens plan working boys casually, have Klonk really love it and being the sweetheart she is LUcy would fiance the thing just to make them both happy. I mean he can still marry her and ted can still have direct acess to her money if they want, it’s just an easier way that dosen’t shine supscion on the caveman who looks exactly like a local douchebag who everyone he’s met would testify against him. I mean would Paul and Bill REALLY be that suprised that Ted did this? 

Exactly. Then again neither of our “heroes’ Here is very bright, and this scheme only works because Lucy is clearly very sweet, very naive, and very much wants a romantic evening with an ape man after all this time and effort searching, so she wants to believe him. So the fact the best they could come up with is something out of Scooby Doo is unsuprisng but still great.  However things take a turn for the

Pretty quick as Hidgens takes disposable british douche fiance hunting.. then kills the guy after freely admiting he’s a fraud in what’s an INCREDIBLY chilling scene. Seriously it’s amazing how Robert takes a character as loveably redicilous, even his evil and murderous plan during TGWDLM was still hilariously rediclous, and makes him UTTERLY TERRIFYING. Even when dropping my fair lady refrences. Amazing stuff.  So the next day, after Konk “asks” what an engagment is and what not, we then get Lucy wondering just WHERE jonathan is and we get the second biggest laugh of the night as Hidgens gives us the iconic line of “Oh he left... said something about you being crazy and going back to london and basically to go fuck yourself. “. Naturally Lucy has followup questions and goes to find out while Ted, also naturally, isn’t exactly pleased when he finds out his partner in crime did a murder on someone. 

Ted may be a sleazy dickhead.. but even he sees maybe murdering a rich british person who just came here, went basically ONLY to this one location, and whose probably got many people who will misss him, one of whom is their primary target, is kinda dumb. Then again this is a plan that hinges on someone who could easily be identified, as he has or at least probably had an office job and three coworkers who know him, assuming a false identity to marry someone for their money. But again we’re dealing with a guy who thinks working boys is marketable to anyone who isn’t a starkid, and a moron who soon says he does his best thinking while erect. They only got this far because their target REALLY wants to fuck a sasquatch, is sweet but naive and well Ted IS still joey richter, and no longer has the porn stache so there you go.  Ted decides to cut Hidgens out of things.. partly because you know, he killed a person, and partly because instead of killing Lucy, Ted realized he honeslty has a LOT to gain by simply marrying her and staying married. He gains a hot rich wife (his word’s not mine, but angie is genuinely beautiful so fair point), a mansion, and while Hidgens points out the obvious, he has to stay Konk.. that’s actually appealing to Ted as he feels better as Konk, not just because he impresses an attractive woman for doing basic stuff, but because he feels better as Konk. This is.. an intresting turn for Ted i genuinely like. It shows that Ted may, as much as he presents with bluster and ego, actually LIKE the kind of shithead he knows he is. I mean looking at his life he has two workmates who calling them friends is a bit of a stretch, and one who he’s having an affair with but seems detemrined to make her doomed marriage to an even bigger asshole work. He really dosen’t have much as ted so it’s easy to see why being Konk is better: He’s a better person as him who actually has someone who cares about him.  Naturally Hidgens takes this as well as you’d expect and when Ted/Konk tries proposing he goes with the logical option for taking the fourtune for himself:

Yes really. Hidgens strips naked, and swings his arms around like an orangutan to try and convince Lucy he’s the real hatchetfield apeman. Sadly this dosen’t mean we get a shirtless robert manion as he needs to keep the turtleneck on for later, but the mental image.. I had to pause the video for a good minute to laugh over it. Just everything about it from it somehow being a dumber plan than his scheme this episode, to the orangutan swaying to just.. everything. It’s fucking genius.  But Higdens has more than a mighty penis to compete with Ted.. he reveals ted’s phone and Ted ends up revealing himsef by telling Hidgens to go fuck himself. Naturally Lucy is distraught and tries to leave and the professor pulls out his shotgun to threaten her into financing his musical because of course it’s about workin boys. Lucy tries to run, Hidgens tries to shoot.. and ted , doing the first good thing in his entire life, takes the bullet.  Lucy gets ted out of there then locks the door behind them, and we get the SCARIEST bit in this segment as Hidgens leans into the camera, simulating the peep hole of the vault door to the ape man inclosure and begs her to let him out. It’s some real Jack Nicholson in the Shining stuff and it’s utterly terrifying, but it’s also an amazing bit of acting. Nice job Rob.  So ted bleeds out, as much as Lucy wants to save him he knows he’s not going to make it and prefers to die as Konk, finally happy with himself. And I just realized everyone at Paul’s job is horribly miserable. I mean good god, Paul himself has serious depression issues judging by “Let it Out”, Ted clearly hates himself, Charlotte is in a horrible marriage and Bill just got out of one and has a strained realtionship with his daughter we’ll get into more in a bit. I mean honestly, Mr. Davidson is the only one of them who really dosen’t need therapy.. he just needs to tell his wife he wants her to choke him while he jerks off. For as ungodly hilarious as that line is he’s probably the most well adjusted person there. Go figure. 

Naturally being already insane, Hidgens breaks out, still naked mind, and chases after Lucy. Also noticable is apparently some people thought hidgens was manipulated by the blue shit hive mind in TGWDLM. Which.. no. I do love the guy dont’ get me wrong.. but it was very obvious both from the way his musical number was done compared to the rest of the ones in the musical, and his actions that was entirely him, and his playing the music was so he could join, especially since we don’t see the hive mind use any mind manupluation on anyone else. Regular manipulation sure as seen with you tied up my heart and not your seed, manipulating charoltte into freeing her asshole husband so he could infect her and torturing bill for funsies. Just something to get out of the way. Point is he was always crazy we just now have him chasing an innocentish woman with his dong hanging out to prove it.  He eventually catches her as Lucy catches herself in one of his bear traps when she hits the woods, because he had those for some reason.. and he has a resonable way out: Just give her the 30,000 dollars he needs for his musical. Thing is she dosen’t have the money.. or hardly any. She spent all of it trying to find the ape man and was marrying jonathan for his money and him for her title. And while it is a bit skeezy, it’s very clear both were using each other and likely knew it, and Lucy still comes out the most moral of our cast here.. granted it’s not a big stretch as hidgens is criminally insane, ted’s a skeeze and Jonathan.. well he’s just a diiiiiiccckkkk. It’s not hard is what i’m saying.. much like hidgen’s dick flopping around in the rain. But yeah he dosen’t take it well, Lucy goes up a tree, which is apparently something Becky did once. But before Lucy can die at the hands of a naked thespian, the REAL Ape-Man shows up and tears Hidgen’s arms off, taking lucy in his own arms afterwords and revealing he remembers her. The two hit it off instantly, it turns out his name is chumby in an excellent gag as that was what Hidgens wanted his fake ape man to be named but Ted froze, and go off into the night together. Awww.. what if a naked ape man played by my boy jeff blim and a british person can’t work who can? 

We then close out the segment with a cameo appearance by Jamie Lynn Beatty, who while not part of the cast for this double feature, does get a fun showtune about the ape man. Also fun fact that i found out here on tumblr: That costume is from something Jamie did in HIGH SCHOOL. As in well over a decade ago. Like holy shit, good for her. She looks great in it. But yeah it’s a fun song and a nice way to close it out.  Final Thoughts on the Hatchetfield Ape-Man: This was a great way to start things off. This one was more in line with starkids pre-hatchetfield work, a goofy story with some hidden depth inside. And like the guy who didn’t like musicals it was utterly terrifying in spots so yeah good stuff ,utterly hilarous and a great way to bring back some old faviorites while giving us a neat new protaganist. Good stuff. 

Watcher World:

Now from a mostly comedy with a horrifying ending to just.. pure unfiltered horror and depression! It’s Watcher World! Bill and Alice are back! And given I love Mariah Rose Faith and Corey Dorris, I was exastic to find this was what the second segment was about.. mostly because I had no idea Starkid had teasers for the episodes on their instagram, or I would’ve known Hidgens was coming. I wouldn’t of known he’d be stark naked for the last third of his story but still, pleasant surprise.

So Bill and Alice are spending the day at Watcher World, a run down amusement park on the edge of town. It’s Alice’s last weekend before College so Bill’s trying to reconnect with her by cramming a good old fashioned family vacation down her throat. Alice is less than enthused, both because she clearly resents her dad in general, and because Deb is throwing a huge rager on the same night. My honest interpretation of that is that Deb fully inteded for her girlfriend to come but Bill sprung this on Alice at the last minute and being pretty oblivious and hating Deb, either didn’t care about taking alice from one last night with her friends and girlfriend or didn’t generally think that through. I mean don’t get me wrong normally i’d side with a parent not wanting their daughter to attend a huge teen rager on their last weekend together.. but it’s also Alice’s last weekend in town for some time, and it’s likely a saturday.. so he has another day, and presumibly had friday before this and while things with his ex wife are tense, fighting for an extra day with her would be understandable and i’ts not like Alice, even if she hates Bill, would really fight him on getting an extra day in the town she didn’t want to leave. 

But that’s what I really like about this one that it’s layered. While Alice is slightly more in the right, she’s still shutting her dad out, refusing to let him follow her on instagram (though he does agree with her keeping it private as he dosen’t want Ted perving on her, which tracks, or Ted’s brother doing it which.. wait what?), and being on her phone the whole time to very clearly spite him and rub how much she dosen’t want to be there in her dad’s face. She dosen’t WANT to be at watcher world but instead of trying to talk to her Dad just wants to complain and apparenlty has on all their vacations.. it’s easy to see why Bill is annoyed by his daughter at times and thinks he has to FORCE HER to have fun with him, because otherwise she’d gladly ignore him for their entire weekends together for Deb. She’s so determined to punish her dad for the divorce, that she refuses to see on some level he IS trying, and is just sad about her leaving, and possibly leaving him forever and alone with nothing else in his life but his buddy Paul, whose getting married next week so that’s probably not helping.  On the other hand the reason I say Alice is more in the right is that well.. Bill’s a grown ass men. And while, speaking for himself, grown ass men don’t always make the right decisions, and not speaking for myself neither do fathers... Alice’s acting out is understandable coming from an 18 year old whose been through hell over the last year, having her parents divorce being forced to move, loosing her friends. Bill however just kind of uses her age and angst as an excuse to undermine and belittle her feelings. Because he doesn’t like deb for the very stupid reasons of she does pot, instead of assuring her that Deb wouldn’t cheat on Alice with Deb’s former crush Zigg, starkid’s first non binary character in a nice show that Nick Lang wasn’t just covering his ass when he said there’d be more representation in starkid, which in his defense I didn’t doubt him on but it’s still nice he did so at the earliest opportunity and very clearly plans to use Zigg if he can find a nonbinary actor for them. 

But yeah instead of assuring his daughter, Bill is just like “well sometimes relationships don’t work out” which while true is clearly his self serving way of trying to get Alice to break up with someone he dosen’t like. INstead of supporting her in her dreams of writing plays, one of which was good enough to get her a scholarship, he tries to act like she has no plans for her future and get her to be a doctor for more security, even though having a secure job has done.. no one at his office including him favors. I mean again, the most stable and happy person at the office is the guy in charge, and even he can’t tell his wife he wants her to choke him out at night. He wants her to choke him, he wants her to choke him while he jerks off, he wants her to choookeeee himmm while heeeee jerrrkssss offfff. 

While part of this seems to be that Deb plans to be a starving artist who can mooch off her parents in a pinch, Alice GENUINELY seems to have a full plan for her life. I do get his worrying about her future.. but she’s a smart kid. A bit of a brat but she knows what she wants clealry and clearly has talent. He’s just projecting his own fears on her. He also refuses to accept any responsibility in the divorce.. his hating his ex wife IS valid, as she took his daughter away, uprooted her life a year before graduation and spends gobs of money on impressive outings, the latter two seemingly just to spite him when honestly, it’d of made more sense for Alice to stay with Bill for the year before she graduates and been better for her. However, Bill still doesn’t take responsibly that he too is shoving fun down her throat to try and win her over, hates her girlfriend and refuses to treat her with any respect, and really DOSEN’T know Alice all that well. As we learn during their fun day she has anxiety, and he never knew about it. And the divorce isn’t really an excuse when he had years before that.  It’s the real problem of their relationship: Bill feels ENTITLED to a good father daughter relationship, but isn’t working at it and blames his ex wife or Alice for it instead of himself. While Alice isn’t an innocent as i’ve made clear, putting up walls and not telling dad things, given bill ignores her when she DOES try to tell him about her life, it’s easy to see she’s just given up. If he won’t listen why bother. Which yeah i’ve found myself there with my own dad from time to time. Bill’s not a bad person, he genuinely loves Alice, as he says “to the moon and back”, but it’s very clear from this outing he still loves the little girl who loved him unconditionally and not the complicated and mopey adult sh’es become, and dosen’t WANT to adapt to that and fears once she leaves for college she’ll avoid him for good, which isn’t unfounded. It’s a good, complex rich dynamic.  Naturally with.. all this I covered up front instead of sprinkling it throughout, the day doesn’t go great, with Alice utterly miserable most of the time, and ending up in a goofy novelty t-shirt due to a log ride. She also has an unsettling encounter with park mascot Blinky, our newest adorable abomination, who not only shows up the moment she does something bad on camera but also stares at her ass, which.. Paul you mind coming back for a second?

Thank you. They end up at the Watch Party, a cheesy kids show musical because Bill apparently equates this with his daughter loving musicals. I mean granted cheesy kids stage shows can be rad just listen to this. 

But I get Alice’s annoyance here. Thus we get the return of the sniggles, who apparently serve whatever eldrich deity is around this week and our first song of this segment, The Blinky Song. Which is catchy as hell as well as hilariously dark (”I’m so hungry”), and uses the stock footage well, as I could buy a cheap theme park ran by an eldtirch eye goblin using stock footage. But yeah it establishes Blinky as always watching and kinda fucked up.  Also the sniggles are now clearly the smurgs with Angie’s now being named Sniglette, Jeff being papa Sniggle and James being Snigglotts. However Sniglette considers leaving with another song with a long string of words. Then, things get.. dark as the rest of the sniggles don’t want her to leave and try and mob her, and then Papa Sniggle accidently wings her with a mallet and apparenlty injures the actual performer, before everyone’s ushered out and the usher pretends nothing happened. Good mind screw horror stuff. 

Alice and Bill then bicker a bit with my above point being made as Alice TRIES to get Bill to accept some respoinablity but he refuses and blames her mom. It’s now time for the Tear-Jerker, the reason they came. Bill’s buddy Paul says someone died. They also find three other people waiting in line and when one goes to the bathroom the other two start making out which.. yeah, dosen’t help Alice’s worry Deb’s going to cheat on her. So she takes the first single rider pass she can, with Bill worming his way in as to not let her get away.  The two naturally end up fighting on the Tear-Jerker before it stops up high, and ends up stalled, with the gloriously returning Nerdy Kid played by Joey from Black Friday being as helpful as usual. Seriously bless them for bringing him back. Man in a Hurry also showed up again, bless him too. Alice picks this time to reveal her fear of heights and anxiety, and an approaching storm isn’t helping. So Bill.. steps up. He helps ease Alice down taking her phone for her, if loosing it due tot he rain and helping her stay calm. It’s a REALLY nice portrayal of an anxiety attack, with Mariah herself apparently having them and thus portraying it really well. As someone who has them myself it really hits home and Bills calm attempts to help her are really heartwarming, getting her to describe her musical for him and the two bonding. It’s genuinely sweet.  But.. it can’t last, as Alice freaks out about her phone and Bill for once is in the right, as .. he was you know.. trying to save his daughter having a panic attack, and really stepped up given he was obnovious she had anxiety in the first place, and managed it well. He then gives the utterly heart stomping line “I love you to the moon and back, but sometime’s it’s really hard to like you. “

Just damn. So Alice runs off and both find their way to the fairway. Bill tries winning a doll for Alice, getting into a test of strength where he fails repedatly and is constantly mocked by the barker, played by James Tolbert who also played Blinky.. 

That should be Tolbert’s twitter handle. Anyway point is, Bill keeps trying even as he wracks up 400 dollars in credit card debt, for a 49.95 doll, before eventually the barker and hte crowd’s jeers get to be too much and he does smack it hard, thinking of all of his pent up rage towards alice.. just as the bell at the top takes the shape of alice’s head and explodes.  Bill is naturally horrified by this by the barker assures he loves him.. and that he should totally hobble his daughter misery style to make her not leave him and use the mallet for it.  Meanwhile Alice is at the shooting Gallery not wanting the blinky doll she wins, just blowing off steam when she runs into an old crone played by Lauren Lopez. But this Crone has her phone... which suspiciously has a ton of instagram photos of Deb and Zigg making out while sharing a toke. Granted Deb COULD’VE cheated, but given Alice is insecure, and her phone was given back to her by a witch working for an eye goblin.. yeah maybe just maybe Deb was loyal, and if she wasn’t wouldn’t be dumb enough to put it on instagram. But given Alice is already worked up it’s easy enough for her to beliive that her relationships in danger and if she gets there in time she can stop it and oh look her gun is now a real gun and can help her get the keys.  So yeah it’s time for a creepy as hell Shining-esque showdown, but if both sides were possesed instead of one. It’s.. a CHILLING as hell scene, not helped by Alice wielding a gun again as both fight. I was gripped the entire time and don’t have much to say utter than HOLY SHIT THIS WAS AS TERRIFYING AS IT WAS RIVITING. 

But a crowd gathers as the fight continues.. all with purple eyes which ave been seen on and off, watchers with a thousand eyes.. and with Blinky, now revealed NOT to be a costume probably, above them all. We also get one hell of a line.  “This is an amusement park but not for YOUR amusement.”

So yeah I love this sequence.. and Blinky as a villain. While it’s vague if he and Blinky  are the same entity.. I’m going with not. It’s not a stretch that like Cthulu, Wiggly has brothers in the black and white, with their own motives, methods and ability to get into our world. Unlike Wiggly.. Blinky’s already here and has no real ambition other than to find people to mentally tear apart and set loose on one another for his own amusement. He doesn’t have grand plans of burning the world.. he just wants to be entertained. It’s an interesting and chilling motive and I hope we see him again eventually. I also believe those at the park are trapped there bound after their own day there and trapped doing whatever Wiggly needs. Except maybe squeaky voiced teen. He probably just complains about cleaning up so much blood.  But yeah Blinky is very happy as the fight escalates into the hall of mirrors and Alice looses her gun.. with Bill now poised to strike down his daughter as the mirror reflects the various workers at the park, all encouraging him to kill her... it’s utterly terrifying as Bill’s eyes take on a purple tint.. and we get a POWERFUL use of the score and the “why does it hurt to love you’ bit from TGWDLM.. as Bill sees himself and what he’s about to do, sees his daughter understandably having a panic attack.. and calms her, his eyes returning and the two reconciling.  Of course Blinky isn’t happy about this “sappy bullshit” and brings htem into his domain, charging at them. But kinda missing that giving a pissed off teenager a rifle she knows how to use when you have a giant target for a face isn’t a good idea and she shoots him, with him bleeding a flood of purple goo that sends them out. While I doubt Winky’s dead, he is done with them.  Our story concludes on a sweeet note as the two find their car, and they finally make as tep forward, Bill having seen almost too late how selfish and controlling he was being and accepting his daughter on her phone.. and Alice realizing her need to open up and after checking Instagram, likely finding out those photo’s weren’t real, she throws her phone in the back.. but not before accepting her dad’s request, letting him in. Sure the road ahead is rough.. but the two have made a good first step towards repairing things and loving one another again in a healthy manner. and all it took  was bill nearly murdering her and allice shooting an eye goblin int he face and getting covered in his blood. Cue the credits, a beautiful song called “One Thousand Eyes” with Jeff Blim fucking nailing it. A great way to send off this bit.  Final Thoughts: This was the best one of the two. While Ape Man is really good too, this one took the darker tone of black friday, but with a tighter narrative. By focusing on a smaller cast, the darker elements really played better and the conclusion felt more satisfying.. though it helped that BOTH of these tails ended without everyone dying, and while I doubt EVERY story will have a happy ending, it makes things more interesting knowing that the heroes can get a happy ending this time around instead of an apocalypse. 

Overall Thoughts: This double feature was great, I’ll be getting a ticket to the next one if I can afford it, and if not i’ll see it presumably in December or next year when it comes on YouTube. Really excellent stuff.  So this was a first for me but if you’d like to see more starkid stuff from me, let me know in the comments or my askbox, commission me to review one of the musicals via dm, and if you liked how I did this review follow this blog for weekly ducktales and loud house coverage, and amphibia coverage when that returns, among more fun reviews. And until next time.. don’t blink. Play us out Jeff. 

I really hope this is the ending theme for the series. 

[drazavonia]

The True Yozora Trapped Within the Dream

Yozora's current state is like Terra's previous state. Xehanort and Terra were at war within Apprentice Xehanort, so neither had control or say in the latter's actions. In 0.2, Aqua meets Terra in the Realm of darkness. But what she was seeing was an illusion, in truth only his voice was legit. Terra informs her the only way that was possible was because of Terra's "Ties to the Dark".

But more importantly, what Aqua saw was how she remembered Terra, how her heart remembered Terra.

At the end of his story in BBS, Terra allowed his heart to succumb to the darkness within which is what gave him the connection to the dark realm while located in the realm of light.

-Which is similar to how Yozora answered Sora's call at the beginning of the Secret Episode.

In both endings, Yozora and Sora share the original quote:

"I've been having these weird thoughts lately. Like, is any of this for real or not? None of this makes sense to me."

Why does Yozora say this as he wakes up however?

In the bad ending, the part of the quote he states is:

"I've been..."

"None of this makes sense to me."

"Like is any of this for real or not?"

In the true ending, the part of the quote he states is:

"I've been having these weird thoughts lately."

"Like is any of this for real or not?"

The phrase "None of this makes sense to me" ironically doesn't make sense coming from Yozora after he wakes from the dream. When Sora and Yozora have their exchange in the beginning, the way Yozora talked implied that he already had an experience similar to this already:

-Yozora also seemed to know what would happen if he was defeated, because his reaction to being "erased" was to acknowledge out loud that his powers weren't needed at the time.

-Yozora knew they weren't in the real world.

-Yozora was there for a purpose, "To save Sora"

-Yozora had been to Shibuya before where he apparently underwent the trials of the Reaper's Game.

-Yozora wasn't at all shocked when Sora's station of awakening digitized and transported them to said location.

-Yozora knew to touch Sora's crystalized body/soul to "save" him.

The only reasons I can think the dream wouldn't make sense to Yozora is if:

-Yozora forgot the dream as soon as he woke up

-Yozora's dreams get scattered across the dreams of others, connecting him to those people such as Riku in the secret ending.

"A far off memory that's like a scattered dream. A scattered dream that's like a far off memory."

Or

The person who woke up wasn't Yozora.

"He's been changed beyond recognition, his heart replaced with another."

I think much like how Terra could only be "Active" in the Realm of Darkness because his heart and body were occupied by Xehanort, True Yozora can only be active within his own dreams when False Yozora falls asleep.

Now, how does that work in regards to both endings?

-I think the "Bad" ending is bad because it's essentially the worst case scenario for both characters. Sora is crystalized and trapped within the dream just like Yozora is. True Yozora on the other hand progressed to the Final World, but I think the amount of time in which he can act is limited to how long False Yozora stays asleep hence why the former closed his eyes in tandem with the latter. But the problem is just like Sora, True Yozora is still trapped within the dream and replaced with False Yozora which is probably why The Driver/Luxord didn't have a reaction in the bad ending, because nothing changed.

-The "True" ending on the other hand has a potentially better outcome for both characters. Once defeated, True Yozora begins to dissipate from the dream in a blue light beginning with his left hand and is then fully enveloped being sent heavenward. I've already mentioned this in a previous post about Yozora being a savior like Lightning, but both instances of a light shooting toward the sky resulted in Yozora teleporting to another world. In this case however with True Yozora being "erased" from the dream, he can't access the Final World like previously.

So where did he go?

I think by defeating him, we freed True Yozora. When we lose Sora is encased in Crystal, with crystal fragments hovering around it. Like in XIII, his soul is trapped. But if we compared this to how Yozora goes away, it's almost like the opposite. His being is fading away surrounded by blue lights almost as if the crystals trapped the light within and upon defeat Yozora instead of crystallizing him, he's enveloped in the light from within that would have been the crystal.

Yozora's Appearance:

How come when True Yozora wakes up after defeating him he still looks different? And if he still looks different how did the driver (and possibly whoever else might've been in the car) tell that the True Yozora had returned?

The last possible explanation I have for this is,

-The place where Yozora woke up wasn't the "real world", it was another dream or dream world. In other words Yozora's dream is a 'Dream of a Dream', where one's appearance is determined by what the people/person within the dream remembers them as. Luxord, Stella, Aegis and Magia (got tired of addressing them outside of names) know and probably saw what happened to Yozora and his original form, so their hearts remembered both Yozora forms and could easily distinguish the two from one another.

(Maybe there was an actual visual cue offscreen that the Driver noticed upon True Yozora's return to his body that happened during the scene transition or simply put, Yozora turned back into whatever his body was originally supposed to look like so of course they were able to tell that it was the True Yozora who had returned.)

How Sora sees Yozora

-Sora only knows the form of Yozora he's seen throughout Toy Box, so of course that's why he or his heart would recognize the heterochromatic man as Yozora when the latter asks him "How do you recognize me as Yozora?"

But then that would still leave the following question, how come to "us- the audience" Yozora looked exactly the same as how we've seen him since the beginning of KH3?

*This part is more "meta" but if that is the case than maybe because "we-the audience" don't know what Yozora actually looks like, his appearance to us is the appearance we've always known him to have: The Silver-haired Heterochromatic Verum Rex Protagonist.

Finally, I have to bring up my original Sora & Yozora Role Reversal theory, where I said that Sora and Yozora switched hearts/souls. If True Yozora returned to his body, where did False Yozora go? Is he now trapped within the dream just like Yozora was, and if that is the case wouldn't he have just appeared in front of Sora at the end before the fade to black?

I think False Yozora now resides within Sora and if the latest Melody of Memories trailer is anything to go off of, Sora doesn't look quite alright.

(It's also quite possible that our Sora went with Yozora into his body and False Yozora is the only remnant within Sora's body, although I kind of doubt it.)