#we do not have sausage patties | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

tetedurfarm · 16 hours ago

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i promised y'all recipes but i forgor

it's ok im fixing it now tho

anyway. hi. hello. i eat a lot of rabbit. i am also blessed by god to be one of the few, the chosen, the descended from the acadians who were blessed with the ability to cook food that doesn't suck. you can trust me. màmaw cécil's ici.

just a fair warning though these recipes kinda assume you have basic cooking skills, and things are measured with the heart as my ancestors intended.

onward to the recipes

the tried. the true. the rabbit gumbo

one whole rabbit

half an onion

one package of andouille sausage (or other spicy pork sausage)

a bell pepper if you like

some okra if you like

some garlic

a jar of dark roux (savoie's is my go-to)

tony chacherie's

tabasco

filé

a good long-grain rice

debone the rabbit and cut into chunks, or pressure cook until it falls off the bones. you can also cook the rabbit IN the gumbo but this method takes a long time and is a PITA, but you do get all the good rabbit grease in the gumbo.

fill a large stock pot about 3/4 the way up with water and set to boil. add salt until it's salty to the taste. add about five to seven heaping spoonfuls of roux and let it dissolve while the pot comes to a boil.

while you wait, chop the onion and bell pepper into a rough dice and add it to the pot. i'm sure someone's màmaw will tell you what to do with okra, but i don't like it so idk. i just know some people put it in their gumbo. not me tho. tbh i don't even like bell peppers but it's traditional. anyway you can put some garlic in too. and tony's. lots of tony's.

cut the sausage into about quarter inch rounds and throw 'em in too. if you did not precook your rabbit, add it now. if you did precook, you can add it once the vegetables and sausage are cooked. around this time is also when i put the rice on.

once all the meat is done cooking, taste for seasoning and adjust as desired. it should be salty and a little spicy (or a lot, if you aren't a coward.) now all you have to do is wait for the rice to finish.

when everything is done, scoop some rice into a deep bowl (a soup crock is ideal) and pour gumbo over, making sure you get a bit of everything. top with tabasco to taste, and a healthy dash of filé.

some variety of sausage

1 - 2lbs of ground rabbit

soy sauce

garlic rice wine vinegar (if you can't find it, normal RWV works just add more garlic)

rubbed sage

garlic powder

minced garlic (if not using garlic RWV) (or if you just want it)

brown sugar

drizzle a little oil (i like using sesame oil) in a saucepan and put in ground rabbit. as it cooks, cut it up into small chunks with your utensil. once it's cooked, throw in all the rest of the everything and season with salt and pepper and a little msg if you got it. measure with your heart and taste as you go. you are shooting for a sort of savoury-sweet thing going on. it should be closer to a breakfast sausage in taste.

this goes really good in a dumpling, fried into a patty, or turn it into a white gravy with some milk and flour and put it over rice with creamed corn for a nontraditional but still delicious rice and gravy.

german rabbit stew

this one is just a link because someone else made it up but it's real good: https://honest-food.net/german-rabbit-stew/

alfredo mushroom rabbit pasta

roughly one cup per person's worth of cooked, shredded rabbit

as many portobello mushrooms as your heart desires

minced garlic

a jar of alfredo (or make your own i ain't your mom)

your pasta of choice

pretty straightforward. put your pasta on to boil (we like penne.) chop up your mushrooms and sweat them out in a saucepan. when they're cooked enough, toss in the alfredo, the minced garlic, and your rabbit. season with salt/pepper/whatever else you like to taste. when the pasta is done, combine pasta and rabbit mixture and enjoy

just the filling part of pei wei's lettice wraps but on rice instead

1lb ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

hoisin sauce

teriyaki sauce

hot chili oil

green onion (grunion)

sesame seeds

short-grain rice

set your rice to cook. when it's almost done, roughly dice onion and set it to cook in a little oil (i like seasme for this.) when it turns translucent, add ground rabbit and garlic. once the rabbit is cooked, throw all the other sauces in to taste. it should be hoisin-forward, a little sweet and savoury. add some cayenne and more chili oil, maybe some gochujang, whatever, if you want more spice. eat it with rice and top with sesame seeds and grunions, i like some shichimi togarashi too sometimes. maybe a lil fried egg if you're feeling sassy.

i made this up from a dupe recipe for a lettuce wrap i liked at a restaurant so you could put it in lettuce too if you wanted. i just don't ever buy a whole head of lettuce.

weird midwestern chili

1-2lbs of ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

one large can or two small cans of petite diced tomatoes

1-2 habañero peppers (or none if you're yankee)

some sort of stock or broth, or water and a bouillon cube

chili powder

sometimes corn is nice in this if you have it

pasta of your choice

i use my instant pot for this, but you can do it without one in a normal stockpot, it'll just take longer.

brown the rabbit in a little bit of oil with the pot on sauté. while you wait, chop up the onion, garlic, and papper. when the rabbit is browned, throw everything else in the pot besides the pasta. pressure cook for about 15-20 minutes.

in the meantime, set a pot of pasta to boil. we like farfalle.

when the chili is done cooking, season further to taste with more chili powder, cayenne, tony's, whatever you like. serve on the pasta. i know, i know, it ain't chili to me either, but that's what my friend's minnesotan family calls it and whatever it is, it's damn good so i forgive them.

rice that is dirty AND ugly

1-2lbs ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic i guess

about four or five rabbit or chicken livers

long-grain rice

tony's

set the rice to cook. brown the livers in some oil until they are just barely not-raw. then blitz 'em up in a food processer until they are mush. while you do this, brown some ground rabbit and onion and garlic if you want it in a saucepan. when it's browned, add the livers and just. stir it all together. does it look horrible? you're doing it right. season to taste once it's cooked through. add in rice and mix. i promise to god it tastes better than it looks.

for bonus points, mush dirty rice into balls and dredge in egg and seasoned cornmeal and deep fry or air fry until golden brown. ta da, your very own boudin balls.

i guess you can also run the mixture into a sausage casing for 'normal' boudin too.

('but what about the gizzards cecil' i have tried for years and i can't make gizzards palatable. they just end up weird and tough and i don't like the texture in the dirty rice. you know how to make 'em work, you go for it.)

mexican meatloaf that is neither mexican nor meatloaf

1lb ground rabbit

half an onion

garlic

one can of petite diced tomatoes

one can of whole corn

one can of pork n beans

(optional can of kidney beans or other bean you like)

taco seasoning

shredded yellow cheese

sour creme

tabasco

fritos

chop onion into a rough dice and put in a saucepan with a little oil. when onion is translucent, throw in rabbit to brown. when meat is cooked, thrown in everything that comes in a can, and the taco seasoning. i use about half a packet, but you can do to taste. once it's cooked, spoon over fritos and top with shredded cheese and sour creme. i like a dash of tabasco too.

absoutely a 'hear me out recipe' but if you like frito pie you will probably like this. most importantly, though, it makes a TON of food and for very cheap. excellent end of the month meal. also idk why it's called mexican meatloaf that's just what my mom named it and i'm pretty sure she made it up herself lol

rabbit jambalaya that makes my ancestors cry

approximately one half a rabbit's worth of shredded rabbit

one can of petite diced tomatoes

andouille or other spicy pork sausage

half an onion

bell pepper if ya like it

celery if ya like it

rabbit or chicken stock/broth

tony's

long-grain rice

if you are starting with a whole rabbit, either debone, chop into chunks, and cook, or pressure cook the rabbit until it falls off of the bone. set your rice to cook.

chop veggies and toss em in a saucepan with a little bit of oil or butter. sauté until soft, then add your tomatoes, broth, andouille, and rabbit. when it's all warmed through, add the rice in and mix. season with tony's, crab boil, cayenne, whatever, to taste. put some tabasco on that bitch before you eat, and enjoy.

(my ancestors cry because i'm cajun and traditionally we don't put tomatoes in our jambalaya. mais c'est bon, escuse-moi les anciens.)

creme cheese rabbit joes or whatever

one whole rabbit

one block of creme cheese

one packet of ranch seasoning

jar of pickled jalapeños

shredded cheddar cheese

your favourite burger bun

we use an instant pot, i guess you could probably do it on a stove if you had to but keep an eye on the liquid levels. pressure cook rabbit with half of the ranch seasoning packet and as much jalapeño juice as you want (it should have a kick.) when meat is tender, remove bones and drain liquid into another container (it makes a great stock if you want something with a little pizzaz.)

turn the instant pot on saute, and then put meat, creme cheese, cheddar cheese, jalapeños to taste, the rest of the ranch powder if you want, and as much jalapeño juice or the stock you just made until it's the consistency you want. it should be pretty creamy and a little gloopy. toast your buns, slop the goop on, and enjoy.

well these are the ones i can remember off top my head/that i actually eat regularly. we also make burgers and stir fry and curry rice and shit too, but those are like...y'know. don't really need a recipe for burgers and stir fry.

go forth and eat your fuckin animals

#meat rabbits #homesteading #manger #y'all asked. i delivered.#i will say: the temptation to write a weird anecdote about my husband was sooooooooooooooo strong

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weirdmarioenemies · 1 year ago

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Name: Mr. Egg, Mr. Pickle, and Mr. Hot Dog

Debut: BurgerTime

BurgerTime is one of those retro games and that's about it. It existed, and it's Retro!, and I feel like people don't really care about it aside from that. It never even got an awkward attempt at a scrimblo adventure reboot, like Frogger did! Poor BurgerTime.

Anyway, my first time playing BurgerTime was not by playing BurgerTime at all, but a SpongeBob Flash game clone of it. I have no personal connection to BurgerTime itself... but I know it has some enemies that are living foods! I always get a kick out of that! So I'm going to talk about some of the various design incarnations of them!

These original designs are exactly what you would expect from a 1982 arcade game. I feel like I've seen Pac-Man ghosts drawn EXACTLY like this. I like how Mr. Egg has the strangely realistic crispy bubbling detail around his edges. They're all fine.

...is what I felt before I noticed their elbows and knees! Ew! Bones! Wretched creatures!

Ohoho... now what have we here? The in-game sprites are delightful! The simplicity makes them very cute! Their feet are interesting, being just little floating lines, except for Mr. Egg's, because his legs are made of amorphous albumen! Mr. Egg is really the breakout star here. Look at his yolk! That's his EYE! This is so awesome! That's such a rare design choice to see, especially since egg creatures that are not of the "creature hatching from them" variety are pretty rare themselves.

Mr. Pickle is no slouch either! I appreciate him being specifically a pickle slice, often portrayed as nicely crinkle-cut. I just have to question why he is a villain! Pickles are one of Burger's best friends! This is like if Cheese was a villain! I think if anything Mr. Pickle should be a cute little sidekick on the side of burgers, and in his place can be, I don't know, Mr. Olive? Of course, pickles are much funnier than olives!

Mr. Hot Dog is not as interesting as the other two, but a simple sausage with eyes and feet is still cute. He is like the leader of the bunch, the main antagonist of our hero, Peter Pepper, who I do not really care about. I like that it's him! Burgers and hot dogs are like counterparts, but in no way equals. Hot dogs are easier to hold and eat, but burgers are just Better. And hot dogs have finally decided to give burgers a piece of their mind!

This flyer art is funny. I don't LIKE any of the designs showcased, but they're funny! Faces are moved around on the foods, noses are introduced to the series, and Mr. Egg is now a slice of a hard-boiled egg. You will also notice the elusive Mr. Lemon! Mr. Lemon is not real! I don't know why there is such an emphasis on lemon here. Finally, of course, you will notice the personified Cheese, as she noselessly beckons Peter to recline atop a beef patty. Ooh la la! Don't you wish you were invited to hang out with such a beautiful female cheese who is a girl woman?

Really, the designs of the core food fiends never diverged much from the classic cartoon-style versions they started out with, appearing like that in pretty much every sequel. Except...!

In BurgerTime World Tour, which was not a good game at all, these guys have been utterly rebooted! Now known as Frank Furter, Ruthless Dill, and Sonny! Are these their real names? Or just some similar guys?

The designs are rather basic, as to be expected from Foods With Faces, but it IS interesting seeing them generally made so much more monstrous. Something ESPECIALLY interesting is that Sonny the egg is the only one with limbs, reminding me of how Mr. Egg is the only one to have actual legs in the original sprites!

Ready for the SCARIEST redesign from World Tour?

This game's version of Peter Pepper is this horrible gentrifying millenial and I'm glad his game was prematurely delisted. I hope he got eaten by an egg and chewed by teeth made of yolk. I hate him!

#burgertime #mr hot dog #mr pickle #mr egg #not mario #funky friday #mod chikako #long post

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lexithevalkyrie · 1 year ago

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Wieght gain tip number 2: what should i eat 🤷‍♀️

Now that we talked about the best nutritional intakes to gain weight, both healthy and unhealthy, next next question to ask yourself is: what do I eat?

Now, let's start with you unhealthy piggies first. Good news for yall! You get to have all the fatty and delicious food you want 😋. Now, what is a good meal plan that will last you a week and won't hurt your wallet 🤔

Well any American knows the magnificent super store called Walmart 😌. Now what if I told you this bad boy can get you so fucking fat with only 40-50$ a week?

At 35-50$ a week: you can get around 3k calories per day for 1 whole week

Let's get the fun stuff out of the way. For your morning snack should be light compared to your afternoon snack, I recommend getting fritters. You can scarf down 720 calories with 2 fritters. A whole box of 6 fritters is merely 4 dollars, sooooo you should pick up 1-2 boxes. Your breakfast should be your lightest of your meals. If you want to go the extra mile and be lazy, I highly recommend Jimmy Dean Sausage, Egg & Cheese Croissant Sandwiches, each sandwich is 400 calories and one box has 4 sandwiches in it, so once more get 1-2 boxes for the week at this point you've spent between $10-$20 and eaten around 700-1.2k calories so far. It's not bad for a start, but im sure that tummy is still very hungry 😋. So let's move on to some lunch, and I know just the meal that will fill that gut! Starting off with your sides, you should pick up some Great Value Seasoned French Fries. 11 servings per bag with 140 calories per serving and only $3.75. As always, I recommend getting 1-2 bags like usual, of course, the more the merrier 😁. For your main meal, I recommend eating some nice and healthy American made burgers 😋, so grab some patties (recommend 20% fat 80% lean). The All Natural brand sells 12 patties per pack at $10! And if course you can eat a burger without buns, sooooo let's grab some big carb filled buns 😌. Great Value Jumbo Hamburger Buns should be the cheapest and most carb heavy buns you can get at only $2 (although you have to pick up 2 for all 12 patties). So let's have the final snack before bedtime, I think something light like walmart's famous Freshness Guaranteed Frosted Sugar Cookies should do, hehe 😉

In total, this should set you around 2.7-3k calories worth of food, which is more than enough to fatten up anyone under 200lbs

(The second part of this post will be about healthy gain, which I will post later today)

#feeding kink #feedee encouragement #feedee girl #feed me #fatty piggy #feedee belly #fat #fatty #unhealthy diet

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flammingnachos · 5 months ago

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“𝘛𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘢 （）𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘫𝘪 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 （𝘔）

𝖲𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌；After rescuing the Reader from the ocean, Sanji attempts to make her feel comfortable and happy.

．

Darkness.

"Where am I? What happened?" you think, trying to remember something, anything.

Your head is pounding. Water. Wheres the water?

"Think she has any Berries?"

The voice brings you closer to consciousness. "Voices? Am I dreaming?"

"You idiot. Where would she put it?"

"We could...check-"

"Patty, If you aren't the perfect gentleman then I'll personally ensure that the jambalaya has extra sausage tonight."

"Jeez Sanji. You could try."

Such a rough voice.

"Just shut your damn mouth and get her a hot towel."

"Bite my ass."

"Oh I'll bite your ass! Crappy fuck."

You begin to notice the scent. Wow! Like nothing you've ever experienced.

Suddenly your heart drops. This is real. You aren't dead. This is much worse.

Can you escape? Can you even move?

Your eyes flutter open, slowly adjusting to the brightness.

The man is sitting nearby, and appears to be looking your direction. You snap your eyes shut, hoping he didn't see. But the room... It wasn't what you feared. It had shelves and boxes, not how a brig is supposed to look.

Your reverie is interrupted by a door slamming open.

"One hot towel for our wonderful piece of shit chef and his new little girlfriend!" the intruder said in a faux-sweet voice.

"Yeah, thanks. Now buzz off," the guard said.

"Of course, Mon-sewer," he said in that same obnoxious tone before slamming the door shut.

New little girlfriend. The words burned in your head. This was it. Your worst fear has been confirmed.

You have to get ready to act NOW. You move your right arm slightly, then your left. Huh, no chains. They'll regret that mistake.

You hear the footsteps of the guard growing closer, and steel yourself for what you are about to do. When the footsteps stop, you spring into action, opening your eyes and punching at him with all of the power you can muster.

"Woah, Hold on!" he says, barely flinching at your blow.

Terror fills your heart. It didn't phase him at all. You can't hold back tears as you continue to inflict punch after punch on the man.

"I'm not going to hurt you! It's OK!" he insisted, doing little to quell your tears. How could it be ok? How could it ever be OK again? He backs away from your furious assault, and much to your surprise - plops down on the ground. You curl up into a ball, tears flowing freely.

"You alright?" he asks, offering the hot towel to you.

You say nothing. Why should he get the satisfaction?

"It's just a hot towel. Don't worry, Nobody here bites, though it may seem like it."

Why? Why did this happen?

"Are you feeling OK? You were just floating out there, unconscious. We patched up whatever we thought we could."

You look at your right arm, now sporting some bandages. Well, he's not lying.

"This is the Baratie, It's a floating restaurant." The man said in a reassuring tone.

Restaurant? Explains the smell. Thinking about food makes your stomach squeeze. It has to have been days...

"You hungry? I can make you some food, pretty much whatever you like!" He said.

You can't show weakness. "No," you mutter, just loud enough for him to hear.

Despite your resolve, your stomach betrays you, growling loudly. You cringe.

"Sounds like you could use some. Really, what can I get you?"

"I said NO!" you yell, looking up at him angrily.

"Hey-ahhhh...." he said trailing off stupidly. He stares at you with wide eyes, looking absolutely smitten.

You look away.

"Uh, I'm Sanji," he says, bringing back his reassuring tone, trying to maintain composure.

Your fears get the better of you. "What are you going to do with me?" you blurt out.

"Nothing! I'm just trying to make sure you're OK!" Sanji says.

Did he mean that? Your stomach growls again, interrupting your thought.

"Are you comfortable? We keep this cot back here in the secondary storage room for naps.

I can get you something else..." he said.

"I'm fine" you say, beginning to tentatively calm down a bit. "So I can leave?"

"Of course, that door there leads right outside."

Sanji hopped up and opened the door, revealing the bright blue sky and open ocean behind it.

Relief floods your heart. Maybe these aren't the like bad men you've heard so much about.

"I'd be ever so grateful for the opportunity to cook for you before you leave," Sanji said earnestly.

Could you trust him? Would he really leave you unguarded with the door to freedom unlocked?

It may not even matter if you don't eat something soon.

"OK," you say, turning your gaze on him. He is tall, with long legs. Well dressed. His blond hair, while well kept, hung over one eye. His eyebrow swirled upwards like I fancy mustache. Despite the situation, it makes you want to giggle. He seemed to have something in his mouth that was burning. You wonder why.

"Great! Don't worry, beautiful lady, I'll be back in a just a moment!" Sanji said graciously, before bowing and gracefully exiting the room.

"How sweet," you think to yourself. Attractive and charming as he might be, you had other things on your mind.

You jump up from the cot, almost losing your balance from wooziness, and shuffle over to the door. It opened easily, and you stepped outside. The sea air hits you with its warm embrace. There was no trick, you were on a small dock, presumably for restaurant deliveries. You dip your hand into the water. It was completely true, nothing was there to stop you from getting away. Your mind now at ease, you scuffle back inside. The smell hit you again - reminding you of your excruciating hunger. You plop back onto the cot.

You aren't kept waiting long. Sanji strolls in carrying two huge bowls on one arm, a bottle in the other hand, and a basket on his head. He no longer has the weird thing in his mouth. He carefully sets them all down, before pulling out sizable box to use as a table. He sets one of the bowls on the table in front of you. The steam smells so titillating that you began to salivate uncontrollably.

“For you, mademoiselle” he says, flaring his nostrils. “Dinner rolls, and my famous sauteed shrimp and crab on a bowl of fried rice. I figured seafood was a safe bet-”

Before he can finish the thought, you take the fork and begin devouring the breathtaking meal before you. You've never tasted food so good!

Sanji smiles a big smile and sets down the wine bottle with a couple glasses. “And our finest libations. Well, the finest the geezer head chef said we can spare.”

“Mind if I join you?” he asks sheepishly, but somehow spiritedly.

“Mm-Hmm!” you say, overjoyed at the scrumptious meal you are eating. He has to be a decent guy, to treat you like this.

Sanji sits down, grabs his bowl, and begins eating too. He can't seem to resist staring at you every few seconds. You find yourself not minding. Not one bit.

“Oh!” he starts loudly. “My deepest apologies! Let me pour you some wine” he interjects, quickly opening the bottle and pouring out two glasses. The pale gold liquid glistens in the glass.

You feel yourself quickly filling, and begin to slow down, sipping the wine occasionally.

“Not bad, I take it?” Sanji asked, jokingly but with an air of confidence. He took pride in his art. And for good reason!

“This is indescribable!” you say. “I had no idea there was food this good in all the world!”

“Thank you!” He said, blushing bright red, seeming to undulate in his happiness.

You began to blush a little yourself. There was just something about him. He was so charming. Suave and attractive, but also cute and sweet.

“So, uh,” he began, looking away. “What brings you all the way out to the East Blue?”

East Blue. You're far from home. “I remember I was out swimming and a Sea-king showed up. Looked like a giant dolphin. It got me before I could react. I can usually out swim them, but I didn't notice until it was too late,” you explain, as understanding begins to fill his eyes. “The last thing I remember was being chewed by the monster. I thought I was dead for sure. I can't believe I made it out in one piece.”

“You're said it was a dolphin?” Sanji said incredulously. “Our Maitre D' swore he saw a colossal dolphin breaching about a day ago. Nobody believed him because he's an idiot. Maybe it shot you out of its blowhole?”

“I guess so. Anything is possible at this point, I suppose,” you say, scarcely believing your own story.

“That's so incredible! But I'm so glad you're safe,” he says, turning on his charm again.

It works. You can't help it. No one has ever been so sweet to you, no one has ever looked at you like this...

“Thanks,” you say, blushing deeply. You fight off the thoughts that are occurring. The desires. You want to thank him...

“And thank you, for the food!” you blurt out. It is quite clear that you are flustered.

“You are quite welcome, my sweet!” Sanji says, giving a charming smile and flaring his nostrils.

“My sweet,” he called you. The desires grow stronger. You want to kiss him. To have him in your arms, or to be in his.

He stands up, and picks up the empty bowls. Your heart sinks. He has to go back. He's probably wasted enough time back here.

“Leaving?” you ask, dejection sneaking into your tone.

Picking up on this, Sanji smiles sweetly and says “Don't worry, I'll be right back.”

You smile back at him, your eyes twinkling. “OK!” you say, a little too eagerly. You feel embarrassed. Sure he was smooth, and a total sweetheart, but is this all really necessary?

He smiled a wider, goofier smile, and walked out of the room with a bounce in his step.

The minutes feel like hours as you wait for his return. Why is he so important all of a sudden? Why do you want so badly to wrap your body around him and cover him in kisses? What would your friends say? More importantly, could you flirt back? Should you flirt back? Where would it lead? You flop around on the cot and bury your face in the pillow, your face glowing red.

The door bursts open, you look up expectantly. A tall, buff, bald man is standing there. NOT Sanji. “Pardon me, Madame Freeloader, his royal highn-ass asked me to tell you he got held up in the kitchen. He'll be back shortly,” he said, with the same rough faux-sweet voice as before.

“Uh, thanks,” you stammer, as the man leaves, slamming the door behind him. How disappointing.

A few minutes (or perhaps lifetimes) later, The door opens to reveal Sanji, smile on his face and yet another bowl in his hand. “One cinnamon cheesecake sundae, for the ravishing beauty on the cot.”

That does it. Nothing can stop your newfound passion for this sweet talker.

“Oh my!” you exclaim, at a loss for further words. That dessert looks lovely, but you have something else in mind. As he approaches, you work up the courage to scoot over and pat the cot, gesturing for him to sit beside you.

Sanji, looking overjoyed and a little woozy, happily obliges. You take the sundae and begin to eat, trying to not visibly react to his presence. You decide this is a good time to try to flirt, and turn towards him as you begin to lick the ice cream off of your lips. You let out a little moan for good measure, but can't help but blush at your own brazenness.

Despite feeling a little silly, it seems to have been quite effective, so you decide to put a hand on his leg.

“That was so very good,” you say, “Thank you for taking such good care of me.”

“O-o-of course!” he managed to stutter out. How cute. You can barely contain yourself.

You decide to take the plunge, and lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek. Your desire burns even hotter as you watch his face redden, and you decide to go further, kissing him on the neck. Sanji meets your eyes, and you know that it's now or never. You reach up and ever so gently grab his head, and lean up to give him a full kiss right on the lips. You can't stop here. You need it. You keep kissing. He lets out a small moan, and kisses back, reaching up and mirroring your motion, gently grabbing your head.

“It's not too late to back out now,” you tell yourself, but there is no need. You don't want to back out. You allow yourself to fall backwards onto the cot, pulling him with you. No resistance is put up. You kiss him deeply as you writhe around together on the cot, entwined together, allowing the fire that is welling up inside you to dictate your actions.

Sanji seems hesitant to escalate things, so you decide to take his arms and place them on your breasts, underneath your beaten up shirt. This seems to delight him as he begins to playfully squeeze them. You can feel his heart beat. Very fast. Glad to know that he's enjoying himself. As if any further proof was necessary, it begins to become painfully clear that his cock had become quite hard for you. Feeling his bulging causes your brain to go into overdrive. It feels like bolts of lightning inside your breasts and nether regions.

The thought of his phallus, this growing bulge in his pants drives you to go further, further then you've ever gone before. You break the kiss and pull back, admiring his highly aroused expression. “I know how I can thank you,” you say. Yes, this will reward him for his thoughtfulness, but is that the reason why, or your own lust? You slide down onto the floor, your hands playfully caressing his crotch. Undoing his pants is difficult, so he breathlessly helps out, and you soon have them pulled down. His throbbing cock pops right out, and you admire it shyly, your eyes twinkling. You knew about them, but have never seen one in person before. It's bigger then you imagined, must have felt so trapped in those tight pants. The smell was a little musky, but smelled of aftershave. Very pleasant.

You lightly touch it with your hand, and Sanji shivers. Having such a beautiful man quiver at your touch gives you just the confidence you need to give it a taste, sticking your tongue out and slowly licking its underside, from base to tip. The taste was sweet and masculine at the same time. You lick your lips before repeating the lick several times, while carefully watching his reaction. You made sure he had a good view as you licked at it, driving him absolutely wild. You began licking the underside of the tip, right where he released the strongest signals. Sanji let out a soft moan. Satisfied, you begin swirling your tongue on the area, making him squirm around in pleasure.

Your own cravings for his cock become uncontrollable, and you slowly take him into your mouth. It fills up quickly, and you begin to bob up and down on it, swirling your tongue around on his sensitive spot. It feels like heaven as his sizable girth throbs inside of your mouth. Sanji attempts to stifle his moans, but they still come out as soft whimpers. You smile, happy to know that you're doing a good job. You desire so badly to please him, to please him more than he has ever been pleased before. You need his seed.

Before he can grow accustomed to your mouth, you decide to push it further. You take him in even deeper, slowly entering the tip of your throat.

“Oh!” he blurts, half moaning. It isn't easy, but it is a worthy cause. You press on, and it isn't long before he begins to succumb to your efforts, breathing faster and throbbing harder.

“I-I'm going t-to-” Sanji says, half crazed looking. You lock your eyes onto his and make the cutest face you can. You don't really know what to expect, despite knowing the biology of the situation. You know you are about to receive his seed, right into your mouth. You maintain eye contact and swirl your tongue around the sensitive spot as he loses control, bursting into your mouth. Burst after burst of his hot cum come forth into your eager mouth as you happily lick his pleased cock, thoroughly proud of your efforts. Swallowing is easy, you crave his pleasure and only want more.

When you are sure he is finished cumming, you pull his cock out and let him watch you lick your lips once more.

“Did that feel good?” you ask smugly, smiling at him.

“Thank...You...” he answered, looking absolutely dazed.

“You are very welcome,” you say with a giggle, satisfied with the results of your ministrations.

Watching his erection slowly wane only causes your own loins to ache with desire, wishing they could have him inside.

“I've never done anything like that before. I hope it was a memorable experience for you,” you say, your shyness beginning to return a bit.

“Incredibly so. This is a first for me, too!” he dazedly utters, struggling to come back to the world of the living.

You giggle softly. You were his first blowjob too. It feels nice knowing that neither of you had experience in such an act, he had no expectations for you to live up to.

You lie down beside him, giving him another kiss before running your fingers through his blond hair, stroking him lightly. Laying down next to him is so peaceful that you could fall asleep, especially after all the food, were it not for your own unquenched desires.

“Do you mind if I ask you a question?” Sanji asks suddenly, breaking the minutes of silence.

“Of course not,” you respond, curious what he may ask of you.

“Well, uh..” he begins, looking away with a sort of embarrassed look on his face.

“This is personal, I know, so it's OK if you don't want to answer..” he says, looking back at you sheepishly. Your reassuring smile lets him know it is OK.

“I've always wondered...How you guys, ya know...” He trailed off, red in the face.

Redness covers your face as well, and you quietly ponder how to answer.

“Sorry, that was stupid!” he quickly apologizes, looking flustered.

“No no, It's fine!” you quickly respond. You don't mind his curiosity, and your desire burns hot, begging for you to show him.

“I don't know how different it is from human women,” you say, face still glowing red.

“Really?” he asks incredulously, “but...how?”

“I..Haven't had any experience with it myself, besides just touching the...outside,” you explain, blushing deeper still. “When we get aroused with someone we love, the entrance sort of...opens a bit, allowing it to be spread.”

“Wow...” he says in a breathless voice after a few moments have passed. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Would you... like to see?” you ask, looking away from him as a surge of fire fills your loins.

“I'd love to!” he quickly says, sporting an excited tone.

Now it was his turn to move to the floor, which he did in one smooth motion.

All kinds of dirty thoughts fill your mind as you reach down to the base of your tail, running your fingers across it towards your most intimate area. It spreads apart easily, scales pulling back to reveal beautiful pink flesh.

Your desires driving you wild, you motion for his hand and guide it towards your vagina. It is already soaking wet for him.

Sanji lets out an excited sound as his fingers come into contact with you. He looks as though he may pass out from excitement. You giggle lightly, pleased.

He begins to lightly run his fingers over you, and you let out a small moan and thrust your hips at him, clearly displaying your intentions. The world stands still as he obliges, carefully thrusting a finger inside. Immediately, he pulls it back out, causing your desire to spike like pouring oil on a fire.

“Woah! It does feel just like a human's!” he says incredulously, staring at you with a dumb smile.

“Do you feel many humans' vaginas?” you ask, just a hint of jealousy in your voice.

“Not at all! Only once ever, really-” Sanji quickly begins to explain, but you smile at him and guide his hand back towards your wet entrance, effectively cutting him short. He is with you now and that is what matters.

He begins to move his finger around inside you, dancing it across your hallowed walls, causing your back to arch in pleasure. You've never been penetrated with anything before, you couldn't imagine a more skillful debut.

You feel yourself reacting strongly as his motion continues, the pleasure mounting and building up to extreme levels. Sanji, picking up on your signals, slowly enters a second finger into you, and the pleasure skyrockets.

It isn't long before you feel your whole body tighten up as the pleasure reaches the maximum you can stand.

“Cum for me!” he commands with a smirk, and your whole body surrenders into a violent, shaking orgasm, coating his hand in your juices as your vagina throbs and squeezes his fingers.

“Oooh!” you moan loudly, bucking and shaking, feeling the joy of your sweet release.

When your throbbing stops, he slowly slides his finger out of you, careful to stimulate just the right spots on their way out, just enough to make you want more.

“How was that?” Sanji said with a very satisfied smirk on his face.

Your response is unintelligible, the world is not real anymore.

You feel yourself slipping into sweet peaceful sleep. Never have you felt so good in your entire life.

---------

You feel a soft touch on your tail, near your hips. You open your eyes to see Sanji, sweetly stroking you while burning that thing in his mouth.

“Sleep good?” he asked with a huge grin.

“Yes,” you tell him as the memory of a few minutes ago came flooding back.

“I had to go finish my shift, but don't worry. I made sure nobody even looked back here. The old geezer said that you were a special guest, and that nobody else was to get any ideas about bothering you under any circumstances. There are some greedy assholes here, but nobody would dream of disobeying a direct order,” Sanji explained, as you sat up.

The light from the window had vanished, indicating that night has come.

“So,” he continued, “You're welcome to stay the night, if you'd like.”

“Thank you,” you say sweetly, “You've done so much for me.” You consider his offer. You may be the fastest swimmer out there, but you have been caught by a Sea-king once before, and traveling at night is never preferable anyway.

“It was my pleasure, my sweet,” Sanji says graciously, flaring his nostrils slightly. “And as luck would have it,” he continues, “Our course has us set to travel to the Southernmost point of our rotation tomorrow.”

“Then I'd be happy to take you up on that,” you say, giving him a big smile, twinkling your eyes.

“Splendid!” he exclaims as he gets up, “I'd love to make you some breakfast in the morning, and of course, whatever provisions you will need for your trip!”

“Sounds wonderful!” you say, pure happiness filling you.

“Then I will look forward to seeing your beautiful face in the morning, Goodnight my sweet!” Sanji seems to sing as he bounces towards the door.

“Goodnight!” you respond with a giggle. What a kind, caring man.

You feel your desire growing again as you think back on the day. If you have any say in the matter, you'll have to find some special way to say goodbye before you leave.

You can't help but smile as you drift off to sleep, with the dim lantern flame glowing softly on the wall. You wonder if you will ever meet anyone like him again, or if he is the kindest person you will ever find. The thought of leaving, perhaps never to see him again was a sad thought, but you miss your home. Your family and friends are probably worried sick about you, little do they know that you found a great treasure of the ocean: the sweetheart of a man who spends his days sailing on the sea, cooking food for the hungry.

#one piece #one piece sanji #vinsmoke sanji #op sanji #black leg sanji #sanji x reader #x reader #sanji #with: sanji

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mandowifey · 1 year ago

Text

Right Place, Right Time; CH 3.

Ray Harris x Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, P in V unsafe sex, oral (f receiving), counter sex, mostly clothed sex, a sprinkle of degradation, teasing, just the tip, sort of cum eating, nipple play, biting, marking, begging, demanding Ray, Au!Dark vibes Ray, porn with plot.

• • • •

Winter came harsh as it always had and buried your town in heavy white blankets. Chimneys smoked and the older folks would offer five dollars to the local boys to plow their driveways. A snow day closed schools and you were bouncing beside your mother along the path leading towards your home. You were ten, bundled in jackets with a beanie warming your scalp and fur lined snow boots to protect your feet. While your nose went pink and stung from the bite of the wind, you relished watching your breath waft from your mouth.

“Honey, look over there, by the trees, do you see it?”

Your mother crouched and pointed, guiding your vibrant eyes towards a line of barren trees. But you saw nothing.

“Mama, I don’t see- “

“Shh! Look, right below that tree.”

You strain and manage to make out the shape of a white rabbit. Its ears forward and alert, eyes seemingly on you now. A smile stretched across your features, delight warming your insides as you gazed upon the small creature. Eagerly, you begin to prowl forward with loud, clumsy crunches in the snow. You wanted nothing more than to touch this animal, to get closer and steal a better look.

A firm hand catches your arm, and you are pulled backwards into the warmth of your mother’s body.

“You can’t do that, Y/n.” Her voice was soft and kind.

“Why?”

She chuckles and drops her chin to your shoulder. Both of you quietly admire the rabbit. “Because you will scare it, and it will run.”

The words make little sense to you.

“But I won’t hurt it!”

Hands close around your stomach and squeeze you gently.

“Doesn’t matter. Everything is dangerous to a rabbit.”

Your eyes are caught in the creature’s stare. Fixed pupils and twitching ears as though it could hear you both. Maybe it could. The rabbit watches you, transfixed, thinking, ready to run the minute you make a move. Suddenly, in the blink of an eye, it took off, causing you to gasp.

“Why did it run? We didn’t go near it.” You were dismayed.

As your mother stands, she takes your gloved hand in her own and makes a non-committal sound in the back of her throat.

“It must have heard something.”

“Something dangerous?” You chirp, following in step with her.

She smiles and squeezes your hand.

“Yes, something dangerous.”

○ ○

The smell of burnt food roused you from your sleep.

In the transition from dreams to reality, you found yourself disoriented. This was not your bed, and the walls surrounding you told you it was also not your house. A dull ache bloomed between your legs and you groan as you push yourself up. Last night came back to you, and you recalled the stranger you had followed home. When your eyes adjusted to the hazy bedroom interior you brought your attention to your naked body, still raw and sex stained from the encounter before. You felt bare and vulnerable in this strange place, and shifted onto your feet to search for your clothes.

Head aching, you gather the scattered remains of your outfit and dress as you go, already rehearsing your excuse for why you slept over and that you were going to walk back to the bar to get your ride. When you composed yourself, you walk out the bedroom door and into the hall. You linger when you pass the basement, worrying yourself that this exchange would be awkward. Stepping into the kitchen and steeling yourself, you drew a breath.

“Hey,”

The kitchen was empty.

A plate with scrambled eggs, toast and very burnt sausage patties sat on the counter with a note beside it. Curious, you step closer and pick up the hand written letter.

‘Ran to get gas. Be back shortly, help yourself to whatever. Enjoy the food. – R’

Your eyes flick towards the plate again and like clockwork your stomach growled. While you weren’t hungover, your mouth was dry and that told you food and water would solve your headache. Grabbing the plate but not bothering with silverware, you bring your stuff to the tiny dining table and hurry to fill a cup with water from the sink. Finally seated, you finger eggs onto the toast and eat the lukewarm meal gratefully. Even cold, the grease from the sausage and salt from the eggs melted down your throat and eased the tension from your forehead.

After destroying your meal and polishing off two glasses of water, you felt better. Ray had left dishes in the sink which you decided to clean as a thank you – and to kill time. There was a small window that gave you a view of the backyard and dense lining of trees surrounding the property. Your eyes catch on a small shape near the edge, but it bolts before you can get a good look. Drying your hands, you jump at the sound of keys in a lock.

Now you could get the awkward part over with.

The door swings wide as Ray steps in, dawned in his leather jacket like the night before. You smile and fold your arms, feeling a tug in your loins. Beer goggles or not, Ray Harris was a handsome man. Though now in the light of day you could see his age. You knew he was older than you, but now that you could clearly see the lines etched into his skin, you realized just how significant it was. As warmth pooled in your stomach, Ray tosses his jacket on the back of a chair and kicks the door closed with the back of his boot. He catches your eyes and smirks.

“Hey kiddo, how’d you sleep?”

Tension eases off your shoulders as your cheeks go pink.

“Oh, hi- yeah, I, well, great I think,”

You feel like a schoolgirl with a crush on your teacher. Ray crosses the room towards you in three strides and he slips his arm around your hips as he leans in. His mouth was on yours before you could speak again. The man tasted of mint with a hint of tobacco, which you got to taste as his tongue forces past your teeth and swipes across yours. Head spinning, you snap your hands to cup his cheeks, kissing him with equal vigor. So much for feeling awkward.

He was moving you backwards, using his larger frame to guide you until you bumped into the kitchen island. Your lips were crashing together obscenely loud, and Ray devoured your mouth like it was his last day on Earth. You cannot help the mewl that stutters in the back of your throat as your hands wander down the expanse of his torso. Breaking the kiss, Ray peppers soft pecks along your jaw and you turn your head to offer your throat. He rumbles, licking over your velvety flesh before biting down hard enough to draw a gasp.

Ray was a man possessed. His large, strong hands pawing your sides and groping your breasts by the fistful. He couldn’t get enough of you. “Sorry I wasn’t there when you woke up, had shit to do.” His voice is like thunder against your skin. “Woulda fucked you first thing.” He added, suddenly hoisting you up to sit on the edge of the islands top. You were reeling, your ability to form a coherent sentence long gone now that lust had made your brain blow a fuse.

All you could think of was him and how much more you needed.

You reach down and pull your dress up to your hips, exposing the soaked fabric of your panties. This prompted Ray to draw back, watching as you widen your legs to offer him everything he wanted. Those husky eyes of his taking in every inch of you like a hungry animal. A wolfish grin sprawled over his face and exposed edged, predatorial teeth as he reached down to fumble and open his belt.

“Looks like my girl wants it too.”

He effortlessly takes his cock out while simultaneously pushing your panties to the side. Ray draws in a breath, able to smell the delectable heat of your cunt from there. You blush, leaning back onto your palms to brace yourself. The older man slots between your legs and tugs you closer to the edge, your ass nearly hanging off as he guides himself against your folds. “Damn, missed this fucking cunt,” He sighs as his swollen tip nudges your tight opening. “Let’s see if it missed me.” You see a flash of teeth before Ray drives inside of you to the hilt.

A cry erupts from deep inside of you. His cock filling you to near painful degrees and the tip nudging near your cervix. Chest heaving, you lift one of your legs to drape over his shoulder as your cunt resizes around him. The dull ache from earlier long forgotten as he stretches you. Ray’s head turned to kiss your knee while his hands encompassed your hips in a grip that would certainly bruise. “That’s it.” He purred, before pulling his hips back.

You feel empty, but only for a moment before he drives himself inside a second time, then a third. Each impact jerking your body upwards, forcing loud cries to spill from your lips. The burn of the friction mixed with the head of his cock nudging dangerously close to your end had you coming undone. Ray was watching you as he rocked his hips steadily, building up his momentum gradually. You whine as he leans over you and pecks your lips, smiling impishly against them. “You like that? Splitting open on my cock?”

The lewdness makes your head turn and eyes fly shut. Your cunt betrays you as it twitches and squeezes around him, making the older man grunt in surprise. “I’ll take that as a yes.” You don’t need to see him to know he toted a smug expression. You groan as his hips begin to rabbit into you, your body bouncing rapidly now as you suddenly drop onto your back and cry out for him. One of your hands covers your face, trying to conceal how utterly fucked out you were.

Ray hunkers over you and suddenly rips the top of your dress down, exposing your tits. You shriek, canting your hips to meet his erratic thrusts as something familiar builds inside of you. He’s stoking your flame, pushing rapidly towards your peak. His hand finds purchase around your throat, squeezing hard enough to limit your air flow. Mouth gaping, you swing your hand away from your face and knock what remained on the countertop away. You’re howling, becoming an uncontrollable animal below him as he rocked viciously hard inside you. The man groans, leaning over to look at your face and admire how red you got. “T-that’s it, that’s it.” His voice came in heavy pants, becoming winded in his old age.

Nothing mattered outside this moment. Ray hammering inside you, oozing precum along your walls while you squelched noisily around him. Both of you were panting now, your body twitching and writhing while your nails sought purchase. You grab at his arm and he tightens his grip around your neck until you see spots. That was it, and within three more full body thrusts you felt him break you. A strangled scream bursts forth and you throw your head back, convulsing and shaking as you cum. Your walls bare down onto his cock, squeezing erratically and milking him for all he’s worth.

Ray was encouraging you, his own thrusts sloppy and uneven. He could feel how you tightened and nearly threatened to force him out, but he kept rocking. When he could take it no longer, he put both hands on your hips and threw his entire weight into you, trying to drive his cock further than before. Giving a choked groan, his eyes shut tightly and head fell to your breasts as he came. You could feel the twitch of his orgasm pulsing inside of you, and knew the searing warmth you felt was his cum painting your insides. Mindlessly stroking his greying hair, you relax finally as you try to catch your breath.

The two of you remained connected, breathing each other’s air and decompressing while your hearts attempted to find a normal rhythm. Ray kissed your breasts and sucked one of your nipples into his mouth, making you gasp softly and arch. He rumbles and pops his lips off before smiling and licking around the pert bud slowly. “T-hanks for u-uh, breakfast.” You managed to stammer, your cunt fluttering around him.

Ray sucked it back between his lips and gave a low ‘mhm’ around you, his hips lazily pushing and dragging his softened cock inside of you. Your head was spinning from all the stimulation, and your blunt nails dig into his scalp. You felt on fire, every nerve ending hyper sensitive now. After just a few moments, Ray lifts off of you and begrudgingly slides out. The emptiness that follows made you shudder, and you sit up to look at him.

“Get in the shower.”

You raise your brows, a shiver running down your spine at the intensity of his command.

“Gonna join me?” You chirp as you slip off the island. Your legs were wobbly now and you grip at him for support. Ray had put himself away before he wrapped an arm around you. He wore a smile as he leaned down and kissed into your hair. “Since you asked so nicely, sure.”

Leading you to the bathroom, Ray opened the door and flicked the switch on. It was simple, a little messy which didn’t surprise you at all. What did catch your attention was the broken mirror. You were no forensic scientist but you’d seen enough punched mirrors to know what one looked like. Catching your gaze, Ray shrugged. “Accidents happen, especially when booze is involved.” His dismissive nature was charming, and you liked how uninterested he felt about things.

“Like last night?”

He heaved a laugh as he opened the curtain and turned on the water. “Is that what you think?” His voice was an amused hum. Your eyes follow along his strong arms and admire his tattoos, before drifting down and catching his hands. The noticeable veins and bruised knuckles made you feel hot in the face. “I didn’t say that, you did.” You shrug, still smiling. When he finished setting the temperature he turned and looked down at you in thought.

“That was no accident, and if you think I regret it, I don’t regret a single thing I’ve done.”

The space between you both was tense. Eyes locked and unflinching as you stared one another down with the shower hissing in the background. Closing the distance, you pull him down by the shoulders and kiss him unlike anyone you have ever kissed before. His arms fly around you as he stumbles from your weight knocking into his. He kisses back with equal fervor, knocking your teeth together in a battle of dominance. Ray felt consumed by you, encompassed by that youthful energy you had and wanting to bury himself within it forever. His tongue rolls with yours while his lips clash. He brought one of his hands up to cup the back of your head and keep you in place.

A whimper escaped your throat as you lap at his mouth, desperate to take anything he gave. You were wet, leaking his cum down your thighs and aching for more. You’d never felt this way before, something about Ray lit fireworks off inside your belly and robbed you of common sense. When he breaks the kiss, he chuckles at the line of spit connecting you both. “Needy girl.” He wipes his mouth before kissing your forehead. “Tell me what you want.”

“You, Ray, fuck I need you.” Part of you felt pathetic to beg, the other part didn’t care.

Ray smiles and touches your chin to tilt your head back and kiss you gently. “Get in the shower.”

There was a comfort in the playfulness of your rapport. Something about Ray made it easy for you to get along with him. He didn’t look at you like the younger men did. You enjoyed the way he grabbed you and kissed you, like he feared the end was coming. Smiling against his mouth, you nip at his lips and draw backwards to climb in. Water splashes your skin in a comforting, warm embrace and you sigh loudly in relief. You couldn’t recall the last time you showered – shamefully. After you rinse your hair, you steal a glance in his direction and realize he has not moved. Standing with a shoulder against the wall, Ray folded his arms over his chest and observed you in his shower.

“Like what you see?”

The man chuckles quietly and nods. “I do.” He rolled his wrist with a finger pointed. “Turn around for me.”

Heat burns your cheeks, and you laugh, doing a slow twirl for him before turning to face him again. “Not like you haven’t seen it all already.” A smile tugs on your lips, and you lean your shoulders against the cool tiled wall. Ray tilts his head before shrugging. “Well, not sober, at least,” he pauses, “Does it hurt?” His hand gestures to his throat, and you look confused.

Ray grabs his phone and opens the front facing camera to show you.

At first, you hardly recognized yourself. It had been too long since you saw your own reflection. “Jesus Christ.” You frown and tilt your chin up while looking at the camera. A band of bruised skin wrapped around your throat. As you try to recall last night, you notice the bitemarks on your shoulders and neck that you didn’t remember receiving. “God, Ray, you really know how to mark a girl.” There is some humor in your tone, but not much. You enjoyed the idea of being rough, but this seemed a little too much.

A notification pings on the top of the screen, you catch a name, Raymond, before he yanks the phone away from you and shoves it into his back pocket. “Sorry about that. I got a little over excited.” He explained, pulling his shirt off and dropping it to the floor. “Never got to fuck someone as young n’ pretty as you.” He smirked as he winked, and your stomach went into knots. You huff a laugh and flick water at him before turning back to the stream. “Just get in here.”

He disrobes and steps in behind you. The barrel of his chest and thick stomach pressing into your back as he draws the curtain shut. Steam rises around you both, and you sigh while leaning into him. Two powerful arms slip around your stomach, and he pulls you firmly against him, his mouth pecking at your shoulder. Turning, you lean up and kiss him again under the stream of water. His lips chase yours, swallowing you whole as he nudges you up against the shower wall, your lips smacking together noisily.

You can’t help but groan as he places a hand on your breast, his thumb swiping over your pert nipple before he pinches it gently. A soft cry escapes your lips, and you arch into his touch. “Y-you’re fuckin’ killing me.” You gasp into his mouth, tasting his tongue and groaning around it. Ray smirks, pecking your lips again before pulling back.

“Not yet.”

The shower was pleasant. Ray seemed to enjoy washing your hair and admiring your body with his large, calloused hands. He even leaned down and let you lather shampoo into his own tresses, his eyes closed and expression at peace as he relished in your touch. Aside from a little squeezing here and there, Ray didn’t make another move. It had been intimate, close, enjoyable. You felt closer to him than you had before going in. After, you step out and meticulously dry your body before your hair and watch as Ray swipes his head with his own towel before wrapping it leisurely around his hips.

Ray takes you in, his eyes scoring your frame before he hums and tugs your towel away from you. “Missed a couple spots, kiddo.” As you begin to argue, Ray drops his head to your collar and licks a small bead of liquid from your skin. The strike of his hot tongue makes your breath catch in your throat, and a soft whine escapes your lips. “Don’t worry, I’ve got you.” He mumbles, dragging his mouth down and sucking your breast between his lips. He lathes you with his tongue, rolling over your nipple as well as the areola. Ray moans against you, popping his mouth off noisily before focusing on the other breast and repeating the process.

“God,” You sigh, your mouth open and head back as your fingers weave into his greying locks. The suction caused your thighs to press together and your hips to squirm. Pulling his head back with an obnoxiously loud ‘pop’, Ray seals his mouth over yours. He couldn’t get enough of you, and it showed. Licking into your mouth and over your teeth, he fondles your breasts before reluctantly moving backwards. “C’mon, with me.” Your head spun as he took your hand and pulled you towards the bedroom. Giggling softly, you fall onto your back on the bed and look up at him through your lashes.

Lingering above you, Ray feels the blood redirect to his cock once again. Not since his youth had he been able to recover and get hard so soon. You did something to him that he could not explain. “Open up for me. Let me see you.” His voice was husky and demanding, making butterflies soar in your stomach. You hadn’t felt shy the first time you fucked but now you were quite bashful. “Don’t make me ask again, kid.” He warns, removing his towel from his waist and letting it crumble to the floor around his ankles. You squeak, then part your knees.

Watching you open for him, Ray looked down at the junction of your legs. Your soft folds, pink and glistening with slick, and your little opening, oozing his cum from earlier. Wordlessly, Ray drops to his knees and grabs your hips to tug you towards the edge of the mattress. You gasp, then shriek as his warm mouth encompasses your pussy. Giving a quick lick over your slit, Ray presses a sloppy kiss to your clit before bumping it with his nose. Sparks set off under your skin and your stomach begins to tighten. You cry for him, a hand winding into his hair once more.

“Spread yourself for me.” He rumbles, sucking another kiss to the puffy bud at the apex of your cunt. “Now.” You quickly bring your hand between your legs and use your fingers to open your folds for him. Now with your clit exposed, Ray kisses your knuckles as a thanks. “Good girl.” His tongue flicks out against the underside before he sucks his lips around it gently. You keen, your thighs trembling as you buck up towards his mouth, chasing that delectable suction. “R-ray, f-fuck.” You mewl again, chasing his mouth with your thrusts.

The man hums around you, rolling his tongue in slow circles around the bud before sucking it between his lips. Ray enjoyed your taste, your flavor, everything about you that made you unique to him. He places his hands on the back of your knees and suddenly lifts upward, forcing you to bend at the waist. Ray shakes his head against you, lapping and sucking your cunt with reckless abandon. Your sounds only spur him further, and he moans around your sopping flesh. You could feel yourself rising fast, and Ray knew it. The way your breathing shuddered, and you began to gasp uncontrollably, followed by the twitches in your muscles and the tightening of your vocal cords.

Right as you were on the edge of release, he stops. Groaning in dismay, you look down at him through hazy orbs and stare questioningly. You wanted to ask why, to scream and yell and demand he finish you off, but no words came to mind. Brain fuzzy, all you could do was watch as Ray lifted to his full height and wrapped his fist around the base of his now fully erect cock. “Such a messy little thing,” He sighs, tapping the mushroom tip of his head against your mound.

“Ray- “

“So desperate too. My girl wants to cum so bad, doesn’t she?” He continues, dragging his head through your folds and stopping when the tip bumped your swollen clit.

Your body jerks and your back lifts slightly, a frustrated whine building inside of you. You wring your hands through the blankets below and try not to let him see how much his taunting is getting you off. “Please,” You whine finally. “Please f-fuck me, I wanna cum.” The humiliation causes your face to burn red and your stomach to twist. If you weren’t still teetering on the edge of cumming, you would’ve told him to fuck off. A smile dawns on his face and he bucks his hips twice, bumping his tip against your clit again before he drags down towards your soaked opening.

“I don’t know,” He sighed. “Sounds like you’re being a bit demanding.” Ray used his thumb to spread your folds before dipping his cock inside of you. You keen, then whine once more when you realize he stopped after only giving you the tip. “Still not any better, princess?” Ray brings his hand to your pubic bone and presses down gently, before his thick thumb begins to pad your throbbing clit. When you cry out, he stops moving it but keeps the pressure applied. “Uh-oh,”

You felt strung above a cliff, unable to dive off no matter how badly you wanted to. The heat that had simmered in your stomach was now molten hot, driving you further into your frenzy. Ray was barely stretching you and already you were twitching around him, your cunt trying its best to draw him further inside. Watching you intently, Ray smiles and pets your clit with his thumb. “You feel so good around me baby girl. So hot, so tight.” He sighed and gave a half thrust, pushing his head only a centimeter in before popping it back out. You groan, shuddering at the loss of him, before whimpering as he pushes it back inside, stretching you around him once more.

Ray grunts. He wets his lips and flares his nostrils in a huff as he watches you carefully. “Ray,” you pule softly, “I’m – please, I need you, it hurts, please.” There was sincerity in your words. His thumb had kept you close to that edge for long enough, and now you were ready to fall. Ray smiles and slowly begins to push inside, stopping inch by inch just to hear you whine again. When he gets halfway, he stops. His cock stretches inside of you, the bulbous tip nudged against your g-spot and making your breathing quicken.

“Say you’re mine.”

You don’t think about it, because you don’t care.

“I’m yours, f-fuck I’m yours Ray!” You wheek again, near tears now.

When he finally relents, it’s explosive. Ray groans and sinks inside of you with a noisy plap, his stomach taking over for his thumb and pressing down on your clit. Your hands fly upwards, grasping into his wrists and holding on as the world floated around you. “Fuck,” He growls, drawing out halfway before he slams in again. He decides on a quick and hard pace. Your skin impacting noisily, and the bed frame hits the wall each time he crams completely within. You are shrieking, your cunt squelching around him obscenely loud as he drove himself deep. Mouth hanging open, you drag your nails into his arms and throw your head back, crying out and babbling for him. Nothing makes sense, nothing matters, only him.

Ray pounds inside of you like he hates you. “You belong to me,” He strains between grunts, his left hand closing around your throat. “Mine. Mine!” He snaps, leaning his weight into his thrusts now and jerking your body up the bed with each one. You are screaming now, fireworks popping behind your eyelids as your muscles tense and pleasure bursts inside of you in waves.

Clenching down around him, your cunt bears down on him as you cum. Ray follows shortly after you, bucking you through your orgasm before locking your pelvises together. He groans at the heavenly squeeze around his dick, meticulously pulling rope after rope of hot cum from him. He pants, dropping his head down and releasing your neck as he kisses you.

As he slows, you realize he’s pulling out and climbing into the bed beside you. The two of you are breathless, and he has rendered you boneless. The aftershocks of your orgasm still cause you to weakly clench and shudder, your thighs still shivering as well. Turning your body, you curl into him and kiss at what skin you can. Ray wraps his arms around you and squeezes you gently, kissing into your hair as he pants. There were a lot of things heavy on his mind now. All of them pertaining to you.

When you felt like you could speak, you lift your head and look up at him, catching him in thought. “You’re something else, Mister.” You grin, flashing your teeth playfully when you notice the corner of his mouth tugging. “Well, the same can be said about you.” Ray turns to meet your gaze, his azure orbs lidded with exhaustion. Smiling, you lean into him with what strength you have left and peck his mouth before flopping your head to his shoulder. Laying in silence, you settle yourself as your heartbeat returns to normal and your lungs settle. You lay a hand on his chest and trace invisible lines and patterns across his skin.

“Who’s Raymond?” You ask finally.

He's quiet for a moment. “My brother.”

“Oh, - wait, really?”

“Mhm.”

You were smiling, your fingers stopping in their tracks while you shift to look up at him. “Raymond and Ray? You’re joking.” Ray looks at you and his brows vex. “My father liked to fuck with us. He’d call me Raymond and him Ray, get us all confused, try to say one was the other.” Sighed the man as he pets his fingers into your hair at the base of your skull. “Pain in my ass, my brother.” You lay your head down and consider what he’s told you, finding the reveal of information to be enlightening. Humming, you close your eyes and think about what he said.

“You two close?”

Ray remained silent, his head back and eyes transfixed on the rotating ceiling fan’s blades. He sucks his teeth and licks over each one in the front before breathing a sigh. “We used to be.” The man withdrew from you and sat up, shifting himself to sit at the edge of the bed. Confused, you scoot into him and put your head to his shoulder, giving him a moment of silence. You weren’t a mind reader, but based on the quiet, heated conversation he had the other night on the phone, and how he seemed reluctant to talk about him, you could put together that his family was a sore subject.

He appreciated your touch, finding the closeness comforting. Heaving a sigh, Ray shifts his shoulders, and you lift to look at him thoughtfully. “You hungry?” He asks, rising to his feet and crossing the room to his dresser, looking for boxers. Touching your stomach, you consider before nodding. “Sure, I could eat.” Smiling, you slip off the bed and stand up. “How about you take me back into town and we go for dinner before getting my car?” You offer, looking around for the clothes you’ve left behind. Ray pauses, not looking at you before he finishes hiking up his shorts. He dresses in jeans and grabs a wrinkled, white wife-beater to throw on with it.

The tension in the quiet makes tugs your nerves. You felt awkward suddenly, like you had said the wrong thing and upset him. “Not like I’m trying to run away or anything,” you add quickly, offering a shy smile. “I just don’t wanna be a burden or overstay my welcome.” Ray glances at you and visibly relaxes. “You aren’t.” He smiles and pops a mint into his mouth, sucking on it as he thinks. “Why don’t we take my ride and go get something to eat. Grab your car and you come back here with me? Stay the weekend?” He offered, dropping the plastic wrap on the floor. A smile branches across your face, the uncertainty gone as your heart throbs.

“Sounds like a plan to me!”

You dress yourself in old clothes and slip into your shoes. Ray grabs you as you both walk towards the front door, laughing. He dodges your swatting hands and grins as he slaps your ass before opening the door for you. You couldn’t remember the last time you had fun like this. No strings attached, just two people enjoying each other’s company and having a great time. Ray locks the door behind you, and you bounce down the front steps and into the grass, your eyes flicking to the tree line again as he starts for his car.

Standing near the bushes, you could make out a vaguely familiar shape. Once your eyes come to focus, you gasp quietly as you realize it’s a lovely little white rabbit. Its ears twitch as it notices you. You both watch one another before it suddenly vanishes into the underbrush. Smiling brightly, you turn your head and walk towards the passenger side of Ray’s car. When you climb in, you grunt and pull the door closed as he’s turning on the engine.

“You get a lot of rabbits out here?” You ask, adjusting the air vents on your side.

Ray looks at you as you buckle up, and he sucks the mint in thought. “Not anymore,” He leans back and checks the rearview as the car begins to reverse. You look at him again and push your hand through your hair. “What do you mean?” You chirp, unable to resist the urge to ask. As Ray backs you both onto the dirt road and gets you going in the right direction, he sighs and reaches for the radio.

“Wolves got ‘em.”

#ethan hawke #ray harris headcannon #ray harris headcanon #ray harris x you #ray harris #ray harris x reader #ray harris smut #ethan hawke fanfic #ethan hawke x you #raymond and ray #ethan hawke x reader

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stevenbasic · 1 year ago

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Growing into the Job, Post 347: A Sunday at Melissa's, p5

We were there in my bedroom for - how long? An hour, more? Bonding, dry nursing, gazing into one another’s eyes with him all bundled up on my lap. Time went so quick when we were together! All I know is that I’d heard my mom’s weird clock chime at one point; otherwise I didn’t pay too much attention to time...we had alllll Sunday, just the two of us. It was rainy outside so there was nothing better to do today than snuggle snuggle snuggle together. Bond bond bond him to me. He certainly seemed to be liking it so far! All cuddled up into me like a bug in a rug, he’d finally calmed down and seemed at peace after his almost-dying in the pool earlier. My nipple in his mouth helped I think haha. He was getting so good at this, dry-nursing, relaxing, zoning out into my breast, and I was getting the hang of exactly what parmo…phairm…perfumes to use, which ones to release out of my nipple and breast to keep him relaxed and happy and focused on me while he did this. It was like I could watch and feel his brain cells responding to me, lining up for me, changing and starting to behave like good little boys for me. Meanwhile he just sort of nuzzled and cooed and suckled and when it all became too intense for him I’d let him rut his little hips into me, through the towel I’d swaddled him in. He’d come against the weight of the underside of my breast, or against my hand and it felt so nice, tingly. I could feel the bliss shivers in the girls, too; they’d all gone home but I’m sure they appreciated this haha. Maybe he did that twice, maybe three times, and dozed in and out a bit after, once woken by more chimes. My insides would get all gooey, just watching him wake up next to my nipple and immediately go back to sucking.

Aren’t you the lucky little man? Being with the hot, big-boobie mommy giantess wifey you’ve always wanted? Because that’s what I’m turning into for you, aren’t I?

I swear I could have sat there with him like this forever. Eventually, though, I’d heard his little tummy start to rumble and as much as we were enjoying ourselves, I’d figured I should pull him off and get him to eat for real. I wanted to dress him up cute in some of the comfy stuff I’d picked up for him on my shopping trip with Shanette yesterday, a new pair of gray sweatpants and a matching top. But the new little underpants I bought him didn’t fit around his, um, penis. He seemed to be getting smaller everywhere but there! Maybe if I wasn’t in the room, and it wasn’t quite so hard all the time, he’d have an easier go at it. But in the meantime…

“Ohh honey with you all excited like that, you just don’t fit in the cute little underwear I bought you. You’re such a big boy down here! Come here and let me help you put on your pants,” I giggled. We’d stood, and he was standing there all naked. “I don't want you to hurt yourself trying to stuff it inside." With that I pushed him back onto the bed in front of me. He looked so surprised when I lifted his little toosh so I could get the sweatpants up and over his thighs and his hips and his nngh hard I want to do that again but it’ll have to wait. Breakfast first! "You’ll just have to go without underpants until we come up with something else.”

The look on his face was too much when I gave him a little slap on his bottom.

Omigod if I had my way I’d dress you every day! You’re too adorable! Watching him blushing like that just got my mommy-juices flowing, and made me really laugh.

Anyway, I was still feeling overprotective of him all through cooking him breakfast. I’d immediately regretted sitting him up on that high stool at the kitchen bar, worried that he might fall and hurt himself. Silly, right? But still, I wanted him to watch me cook, fixing up the eggs and sausage patties I was going to make into breakfast sandwiches and perched there at the bar across from the stovetop he’d have a perfect spot to watch me cracking eggs. Just like I’ve done to you this weekend, huh? Cracked you open? He watched, and he even yelled at me to be careful when I put my hand right down on a still-orange-hot ceramic burner. I pulled it right back, on instinct - it was warm for sure, but really didn’t hurt at all! He was a little freaked out by it, eyes as big as saucers, not believing what he was seeing. I guess you’ve got a fireproof girlfriend, huh? I was tempted to put my hand right back down on it, palm flat, look him in the eyes, show you what I can do. Anyway, I was more worried about him - those seats were so tall! He could slip off and fall! But, yes, I guess I was just being a nervous nelly because he was fine and finally I got to sit alongside him, on his left, on a stool of my own, to make sure he stayed safe.

“You haven’t drank any of your juice,” I commented nodding at the little glass I’d filled for him as I cut up his sausage patty into teeny tiny pieces, “I could pour you some milk but you should get your vitamin C.” After a little thought I’d figured it’d be best if he just had his eggs and sausage like normal on a plate, not a sandwich. Easier to eat and chew and not choke.

“Yeah huh,” he mumbled, like he was distracted by something, like my not-burnt-up hand got him thinking too hard. Since I’d sat him down, and as I cooked, I’d felt he was a little distant. He was definitely being quiet. So as I sliced up his food next to him, I made sure to take in a nice deep breath and swell up my boobs in my top, a black tank with white piping. If you’re going to be distracted by something, I want it to be me.

“Is everything alright?” I asked. Wow, so serious. I don’t know if I like that. Just look at my boobies.

He finally spoke. “Thank you for saving my life today.”

Oooo. That’s what was distracting you? Me being your superhero? Well, that’s okay haha.

“Oh, it was my pleasure!” I laughed, waving him off. I didn’t want him to think that I thought it was a huge deal. It’s just what I do now. But it did fill me with a little pride, knowing I had his life in my hands like this, that it’s only because of me he’s still breathing. “But maybe I deserve a raise!” <giggle!>

To that he gave me a funny look, But just then, suddenly, she was on the counter, between us, the little ball of fur.

“Tiger!!” I exclaimed, thankfully remembering the right name even in my surprise, “Bad boy!” I pushed her away - she’d immediately gone for his meal - but she was obviously hungry and persisted. “Shoo! Don’t be such a brat!” I said, as I reached with my left arm across the bar to grab another small plate and slide the platter of extra scrambled eggs and sausage towards myself. “Don’t worry I’ll feed you,” I said, as I forked over a patty and some eggs, about the same amount I’d served to him. I began to cut them up into teeny tiny pieces. She was now staring at the plate, trying to be patient. “What a hungry boy this morning, huh?” I said.

Watching me make a plate for ‘Tiger’ that looked just like the one I’d made for him, Jay spoke up. “You do know that's a female cat, right?" he said, like he was telling me something new.

"Oh of course!” I said, “I just like to tease her!”

At that, he shrugged and set to pushing his food around his plate with his fork, satisfied with my explanation. I’m sure you’re thinking ‘that's really weird’. But that’s me! Yep you’re stuck with the crazy girl!

I set the plate of cat food on the floor - “No kitties on counters!” I told her, just to piss her off - and she jumped down for it. Me, myself? Yes! I was hungry! I’d loaded two sausages and eggs onto some toast and started digging into it sandwich style. It was actually pretty good - I didn’t burn anything! My cooking skills were improving haha!!

Now that I was done cooking, I let him watch me eat. Feeling him watch my jaw, my throat muscles, how my neck moved gave me a warm dominant feeling. He watched my hands, so big around the sandwich. He watched my lips, my teeth, my nom nom RAWR mouth haha just open up reeeeeal wide and BITE. He had such an intent look in his eyes, I loved it. And when I put my sandwich down to reach up and release the loose ponytail I’d put in, his jaw sorta haha fell open and he watched my hair cascade down around my shoulders.

“Y-your hair looks longer,” he said.

“Yeah I didn’t cut it yet today,” I replied, reaching behind my neck and fluffing it out, letting it all fall now halfway down my back. His look was so precious! That obviously confused him: who needs to cut their hair every day? Me! I do! Ever since I met you.

“You’re still not drinking your juice,” I finally said, trying to keep my concern from making me sound too nitpicky. “You’ve had a big weekend, you need your energy,” I continued, pressing him. He just sort of looked at his little glass, not really saying too much, so I took it and gulped it but didn’t swallow. In my mouth for a moment I let it warm up or whatever, watched him watching me, and spit it all back into his glass.

“You know what to do,” I said, as I slid it back to him with a soft smile. I know, baby. I know what you need, it’s okay.

Without much delay at all - well, maybe a little, he looked embarrassed - he drank it. A few sips, then a bit more. OOOoooo that was exciting, so funny, watching him! I could feel my eyes sparkling, eagerly. That’s where we are, honey, you and me. It’s fine. You need me for this sort of thing. “Would you like more?” I asked.

“No thank you.”

"Baby you have to eat, get some energy" I cooed in his ear as I leaned in closer to him, blanketing him with my perfumes. "It will help you keep up with me. Don’t you want to be able to do that?" I looked down at his plate, which was basically untouched. I promise it wasn’t me! My cooking was actually now pretty good! With his fork I speared a piece of sausage, one I’d cut for him into a little morsel, and chewed it up a bit, more than I normally would. He let out the cutest little moan as he watched me chew. Do you know what’s about to happen? Then, my free hand went behind his head and I leaned in for a kiss. “C’mre, baby,” I said, around the bit of sausage, right before our lips met, “give me a kiss.”

The sparks, yes, as usual - our kisses were always so exciting! - but I used my tongue to push the chewed-up bit of sausage into his mouth. I felt him stiffen, a little shocked or surprised, but when I sealed my lips back up and backed off a bit, I knew he knew what he needed to do. I watched as he chewed it a bit, even though he didn’t need to, and swallowed,

Oh my god I’m chewing his food for him now!

Without even letting him get the chance to talk, to complain or argue or feel embarrassed, I forked and chewed up another bit of sausage, this time with some nice soft buttery scrambled eggs. Mushed all up, I kissed and pushed it into him again. This time, he didn’t even try to chew on his own; he just swallowed.

“You…you like my cooking, huh?” I said, getting a little - haha, omigod! Look at your face! - hot under the collar, warm in my chest. It was, now that I think back on it, the first real feeling of the swelling in my breasts that would get to be such a part of my life soon. When he nodded, acknowledging that yes yes yes you liked it, I waved my hand over my chest, fanning myself. “Sorry, but…you got my mama juices flowing all over again,” I told him, with a giggle.

I’d taken another forkful, a bit more this time, and had started to chew. He looked at me, his eyes all confused, and leaned back in his chair a bit. He wanted to show me something. He looked down at his own lap, and I did too. Oh my god! His penis was so hard! Sticking up, between his elastic waistband and belly, out from his gray sweatpants. It nearly got up to his, like, ribcage!

He only said one word. “W-w-why?” he asked me.

To that, I giggled, I laughed a little, and shrugged. I didn’t really know, but it all made sense!

“I d-didn’t used to be like this,” he said, his voice all small and little and nnngh making me want to just forget the eggs and eat him up!

I could only come up with one thing to say, as I stood up. ”That was then,” I told him as my hand took hold of his erection, still chewing a bit as I - standing over him now - took his jaw in my other hand and raised his chin. I leaned in again to feed him, giving him a nice, purposeful squeeze down below. “This is now.”

I could feel the hunger pheromones (that’s what they’re called!) totally pouring off of me. His mouth widened right up for me, his neck craning. “That’s right, open up for mama bird,” I said, and just opened my mouth to let my mouthful of food empty into him as I sealed my mouth around his. It sounds gross, maybe? But omgggggg it was so hot, feeling him take it, feeling his little neck and throat working, swallowing my offering.

“That’s right, take the food I bought for you, with my money, the food I cooked for you,” I said, as I lifted back up again, “Now the food I chewed for you.” What’s next baby? What’s our next step? What else can my body do for you? Help keep you fed and nourished?

Oh god I couldn’t help myself I took a big bite of my own egg and sausage sandwich and as I chewed it for him and made it extra mushy I hugged his head to my chest with one hand, and as I dropped my mouth again to his open one I started jerking him off.

Feed from me feed from me feed from me babyyyyyyy

He jerked a bit - actually a lot, his body went all stiff! - as I pushed even more of my wet, chewed food than before into our big kiss. I squeezed his face into my boobs and stroked and stroked and felt the warmth from him and even more in my chest swelling it was like almost tender-getting and I felt him swallow and he groaned and then he was exploding again in my hand oh god making a new mess.

“That’s good, baby, that’s so good,” I purred, feeling him shudder against me, “come for mama bird.” I also felt the girls out there all cooing and clucking in the Bliss, and I was so happy here knowing I wasn’t only feeding him but them too. I - me, Melissa Monroe, Melissssy - I could provide for everybody!

I can’t wait!

================================================

More thanks to RiF, editor-at-large

Check out my Patreon for lots more from GITJ

#growing into the job

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azlan-snow · 5 months ago

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Broadcast Husbands

Chapter Twelve: In The Morning

(Told from Alastor’s POV)

As we retired for the night, Vox looked more stressed than before.

“What is is, mon cher?”

“Nothing.”

“Don’t lie do me, beloved. Is it Overlord business or Kingly?”

“Why would it be kingly?”

“Just thought I would include it. You did seem chummy after all.”

“The king can barely be around people. Why would a people person be chummy?”

“Information.” Vox looks at me in disdain.

“Really?”

“It’s what I would do.”

“That’s your own sadistic idea of conversation.”

“Indeed.” I magic both of our pajamas onto ourselves before lying in the bed. I motion for Vox to join me, and he complies. I plug him in to charge as he tells me goodnight.

"Good night, mon cher.”

Around 3 a.m, I got out of bed and changed into half of my normal outfit. Just the harness, shirt and pants. I teleport out of my room and begin to prepare to cook for the guests. Lucifer gave Vox his phone number yesterday to contact in the case of an emergency, and I asked him to ask Lucifer what time he would be arriving. All he said was around breakfast so that he could enjoy it with Charlie. “Guess I better make an extra table setting.”

I get up at three in the morning to tend to breakfast. As I cook,I begin to play music, a jazzical piece, after all. Nina Simone singin’ in the background, her vocals soothing and powerful. Each note is felt and heard with joy and wonder as she sang.

“Al?” I jump, startled by the sudden interruption.

“Charlie, my dear. What are you doing up this early?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“I am preparing breakfast. What are you doing?”

“Lesson plans.”

“What does lesson plans have to do with the kitchen, my dear?”

“I just came down to get coffee. Lord knows I need it.”

“Quite the opposite. I believe you need rest.”

“No thanks. I’d rather be prepared.”

“To teach?”

“Yep.” She pours herself two cups of coffee before leaving me in the kitchen once again. “Maybe shopping will be a good idea.”

I head out to town, getting groceries for the next week, when I encounter an old friend.

“Carmilla! How lovely to see you! How are you this fine morning?”

“Alastor. Good morning to you as well. I trust that you are doing well, considering your territory is under attack.”

“Ah, yes. Vox told me to leave that to him, considering I killed the others when I arrived.”

“I’m well aware. What brings you here?”

“Groceries for the hotel! Can’t have our residents starving, now can we?”

“You’re partaking in the Princess’ redemption project?”

“Indeed. We both are quite interested in it and invested. She seems to believe, which is all we require.”

“Interesting. I shall take my leave. See you at the meeting tomorrow, I assume?”

“The both of us will be there. Farewell, Carmilla.”

“Goodbye, Alastor.”

We parted ways, with me returning to the hotel, to find Husker awake and at the bar.”

“Hey, boss.”

“Good morning, Husker. Care to join me?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Yes. Choose now.”

“Why not. what are we makin’?”

“Breakfast. I trust that you're good with a knife?”

“I had a family before I died, fucker. Of course I can wield a chef knife.”

“Excellent. Tend to the fruit then, won’t you?"

Husker nodded his head and began to core, peel and slice the fruit as I worked on the meat, chopping into nice segments before grinding it to make sausage patties, adding salt, pepper, and garlic powder to season, before cooking them over an open flame. As we worked, there was a subtle rhythm between the two of us that made cooking much more interesting. The flow was unmatched to when Vox and I cook.

“Thank you for your help, Husk. I greatly appreciate it.”

“You called me by my name.” Husk look confused and disturbed by that.

“I did. Does that disturb you?”

“I’ve never heard you call me that. It makes my name sound foreign.”

“Would you prefer I call you Husker?”

“Yeah. It sounds weird bein’ called by my name by you. Don’t even.”

“Very well, Husker. But my statement stands. Thank you for your assistance.”

“Welcome.”

“Can I offer you a drink?”

“Always. Whiskey for the both of us?”

“Correct.” I grab a bottle of Whiskey from the alcohol cabinet and two glasses. I hand Husker his drink and we both down them instantly.

“Hey Boss?”

“What is it?”

“Lucifer. He seemed awful different than last time, huh.”

“Indeed. And it seemed like he didn’t remember us.”

“Don’tcha think it’s wierd that he forgot us?”

“I suppose. But the man has been alone for a very long time. It’s understandable he would forget us. But when comes tomorrow, he might recognize Niffty.”

“No one forgets that woman. She’s crazy.”

“Very true. Even we couldn’t if our memories were erased.”

Husker laughs heartily before downing another shot.

“I’m gonna head back to bed. You should probably do the same, unless you want Vox to be super cranky.”

“Very well, very well. Good night to you, Husker.”

“ ‘Night, Al.”

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin alastor #charlie morningstar #fanfic #hazbin hotel au #broadcast husbands #radiostatic #platonic radiostatic #ao3 fanfic #fanfic writing #fanfiction #ao3 writer #ao3 #fluff

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satansapostle6 · 5 months ago

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The Best Of The Worst | Charlie Kelly

Charlie Kelly noticed the pretty blonde girl just as Dennis Reynolds tried to make her into another one of his conquests.

Warnings: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter Two

Chapter Three: Charlie Has An Idea

“Oh, my God!”

Dennis Reynolds rubbed his temples exhaustedly as he watched Dee rushing back and forth as she waited on tables, irritated with his sister.

“God damn it, Dee, you have four tables to serve, it’s not that hard, you goddamn bitch!”

The tall blonde ran around the bar with a tray half full of empty beers, struggling to find a streamlined pattern to travel the room in.

“Don’t call me a bitch, goddamnit!” Dee yelled back.

“I’ll call you whatever I want, you goddamn bird bitch!” Dennis shouted.

“Yeah! That that, you bitch!” Mac piled on.

In the midst of all this, Charlie was just rushing to the back room for the toilet plunger, unable to deal with all the stress today. He emerged from the back room with the toilet plunger to clean the bathroom with, sweating as he made his way past the bar.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Dennis said as he stood behind the bar, “We need to hire a waitress.”

“We have a waitress!” Dee exclaimed in disbelief.

“Oh, really? Who?!” Mac said confrontationally.

“Me!” cried shrilly.

“A real waitress,” Dennis spat, as if the response were obvious.

Just then, Charlie stopped dead in his tracks, dropping the toilet plunger as everyone in the room looked at him.

“A waitress!” Charlie realized, his eyes lighting up with opportunity.

“What is this?” Dennis asked, not understanding. “What are you on about?”

Frank Reynolds turned to look at him in his seat at the bar, silently eating a sausage patty that he’d brought with him from his apartment with Charlie in his shirt pocket.

“What if I said I could find us a waitress?” Charlie wondered.

“A hot waitress?” Dennis asked.

“Why do we need a hot waitress?” Mac questioned immediately.

Everyone ignored him, as usual.

“I mean…”

Charlie thought about for a moment.

“She’s pretty,” he decided after settling on words that felt right. “The prettiest, actually.”

“Then I’d be confused as to how you know the ‘prettiest’ girl,” Dennis answered promptly.

Charlie grew frustrated, not sure how to give a satisfactory answer.

“Remember Juliette?!” he asked.

“Who?” Dennis questioned.

“The waitress from Guigino’s. The blonde one,” Charlie reminded him.

Dennis’s eyes darkened automatically as it clicked in his brain.

“Yes.”

Mac saw Dennis’s strong reaction, and instantly became jealous.

“That bitch?!”

“I’ve been hanging out with her,” Charlie told Dennis, “She lost her job at Guigino’s. I think I could convince her to work here.”

“Wait, you’ve been hanging out with her?” Dennis scoffed, “Bullshit!”

“It’s true,” Frank spoke with his mouth full, “Past three days, he’s only slept at home once.”

Dennis turned to Charlie, his expression a rather disturbing mixture of impressed and envious.“You’ve been sleeping with that blonde girl?”

“No!” Charlie exclaimed, almost sounding disgusted at the question. “I’ve just been spending the night. We watch movies and stuff, we both sleep on the couch…”

“Charlie, Charlie, Charlie,” Dennis chided him, quickly coming around the bar and laying a hand on his shoulder, “I say this with love, but you, my friend, are an incredible waste of a beautiful woman.”

“Whatever, dude!” Charlie exclaimed, not appreciating how gross Dennis’s behavior was, “I actually like her! I’m not gonna try and have sex with her before I even know her!”

“Charlie, you go talk to that girl right now, and you get her to take that waitress job,” Dennis ordered him.

“What, no! Now I don’t want to!” Charlie cried.

“Why not?” Dennis demanded.

“Because! You’re just gonna try to DENNIS her,” he pointed out, appalled. “She’s not a girl you can just use! She’s nice!”

“They’re all nice,” Dennis promised him with a sleazy grin.

“No!” Charlie yelled, ripping his shoulder away from him. “I’m not letting you harass her!”

Charlie hardly yelled or get angry, but after that, Charlie abandoned the task of cleaning the bathrooms entirely. He stormed out the door of Paddy’s Pub as Mac and Dennis just stood there, staring at him in awe. Dennis was the first to break the silence.

“Since when does Charlie know the word ‘harass’?”

Frank just shrugged, washing down his lint-covered sausage patty with a beer.

*****

There was a knock on Juliette’s door as she sat on her couch watching TV. She threw the fuzzy blanket off her body, running to the door in her pajamas. She opened the door, not too surprised to see Charlie Kelly.

“Charlie!” she exclaimed with a smile. “Hey!”

“Hey,” Charlie said distractedly as she let him inside.

“What’s up?” Juliette asked. “Is everything okay?”

Charlie was initially unsure of how to answer that question, but then, in that moment, he got out of his head for just a second, taking the time to actually look her in the eye. Looking into her deep brown eyes, he had to stop and take in the rest of her, realizing how pretty she actually looked in her white tank top and pink Hello Kitty shorts.

“Uh… Yeah. Yeah, everything’s okay,” he promised her as they sat down on the couch together.

“You don’t look okay,” Juliette frowned. “You want a beer?”

“Yeah,” Charlie smiled gratefully, “Yeah, a beer sounds good.”

She nodded, setting down her own bottle to get up and grab another from the fridge. She came back and handed him a cold beer, settling into the couch once again.

“You don’t seem okay,” Juliette said softly, “If you don’t mind me saying.”

Charlie stopped for a moment, trying to decide what he should say to her. He noticed the way she’d been doing almost nothing but watching TV, day drinking, and chain smoking, wondering if she actually did need a job. Charlie didn’t know if he would feel okay with her working at the bar with Dennis and everyone else there, but he also didn’t know if more time spent unemployed would necessarily be the best thing for Juliette.

“Can I ask you something?” he asked after a while.

“Anything,” she nodded, sitting back and crossing her legs.

“Are you… happy?” Charlie wondered.

Juliette was confused by the question, finding it a difficult one to answer.

“You mean, like… in general, or right now?” she replied.

“I don’t know,” he sighed, giving up on the strange way he’d asked the question, “You said you’re looking for a new job, right?”

“Yeah,” she answered, not sure what the difficulty of the topic was.

“What if… I told you I could get you a waitress job, but… you’d have to deal with Dennis? And… a lot of other stuff,” he realized. “Would you wanna take it?”

She looked at him for a moment, seeing past the question at hand.

“Would you want me to take it?” she inquired.

Charlie considered the question, not having realized that his opinion actually mattered.

“I mean… I want you to have a job, if you want one,” he told her. “But I’d just feel nervous all the time with Dennis around you…”

“Why?” Juliette asked him.

“I don’t know. I’d just be scared he’d hurt you, is all.”

“He wouldn’t hurt me. I can handle guys like Dennis,” she assured him.

“No, I know,” Charlie nodded guiltily, “I just… I’d still feel guilty, just making you deal with him every day.”

“Then, I won’t take the job,” Juliette smiled, giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.

Charlie was surprised by her response. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she promised. “I could find a better job.”

“Good,” Charlie smiled, seeming glad. “I mean… You can always take it if you need it.”

“I know,” she promised him.

He nodded silently, taking a moment to calm himself as he realized everything had been resolved, and there was nothing wrong. He watched as she turned off the TV, trying to find something better to do to distract the both of them.

“You wanna play a card game?” Juliette asked, grabbing a deck of cards from the bottom shelf of her coffee table.

“I don’t know any card games,” Charlie admitted.

“I can teach you,” she offered.

He smiled, accepting the invitation. “Let’s do it.”

Chapter Four

#charlie kelly #charlie kelly x reader #charlie day fanfic #charlie kelly fic #charlie day #iasip #it’s always sunny in philly #it’s always sunny in philadelphia

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