#we can take care of our shameful scandals ok?

[leeenuu]

[donnabroadway]

Forever Young

Age shaming to me is an interesting thing. I find it funny, not haha funny but the weird type, that people will compare a picture or video of a celebrity in their 20s to how they look and move in their late 30s, 40s, or even 50s and say "what happened?" The same thing that will hopefully happen to everyone, if they're lucky to live long enough, they aged.

I was recently watching This Christmas and some of the people I was watching with were discussing Lauren London and one of the women said, she doesn't look like that anymore and proceeded to pull up pictures of how she looks now. You mean to tell me that nearly 40 year old Lauren London doesn't look like 21/22 year old Lauren London. Color me shocked. Shocked I say.

Millennials are having to accept that we are aging and that we are technically middle aged. While most of us are only in our mid-late 30s and that is hardly old, it would be a lie to say that we don't look our age. There are very few of us that still looked how we did in our early 20s. When I see a post on social media of someone bragging about their age and saying 50 where or 40 where? I wanna say there because we can see it. It's there, it may not be obvious to everyone else but I can see it. Many times when a gen zer has a young looking mom, it is because the mom is usually young. If you're 20 and your mom had you at 16, that means she's only 36 and should look young because she is young. This obsession with proving ones youth and ability to remain looking youthful is weird and pointless. I see some stars who had some of their most iconic looks in the 80s and 90s, trying to recreate those looks' in their 50s and 60s and I'm just like, ok you look good but you definitely remade that outfit to fit your current size and body shape or let that dress out some and there is no shame because it looks great and makes for great content but let's be for real. You look good but not the way you did in your 20s and that's okay. Some of us age "better" than others but we still age, nonetheless.

I think with social media, the constant creation of appreciation posts and the uploading of old shows and videos from the 70s, 80s, 90s, and even 2000s we forget that people age because we're so used to seeing them how they looked in they heyday that we forget it was so long ago. Many stars reach their peak in their late teens-early 30s and even if they are still currently working, we often only see pictures of them from that period, so it can be a bit jarring to see a recent picture of that same celeb and see that they've aged and in some instances, not the way the public imagined them to have. I remember a few years ago when the Nicole Murphy, Lela Rochon, and Antwan Fuqua, cheating scandal/love triangle happened, people had the nerve to say that he deserved to cheat because Nicole Murphy still looked the same in her 50s as she did in her 20s and Lela Rochon let herself go. The sheer delusion of thinking a woman in her late 50s, almost 60s, who has lived life, had children, maybe health issues will look the way she did in her 20s and don't get me wrong, Lela's face card isn't declining, her body is just different and while everyone thinks they will be Nicole still wearing bikinis with their right and tight bodies that put women half their age to shame, lets be realistic. In my 20s and early 30s, I ate horribly and barely exercised but I was able to lose weight by simply working out a few times a week and tweaking my diet, now in my late 30s, I try to control my diet and I work out an hour a day, every day, sometimes even adding a walk or two with my children, and the scale has barely budged since having my youngest daughter almost 3 years ago. It has taken a bit to accept that my body has changed because I am a woman nearing a certain age. I am a woman in her 30s, who looks like she is in her 30s. I know women who look young and have barely aged and I can tell you that while she does take care of herself, genetics has a big part to play in it and you can't outrun genetics. It catches up to you every time. Angela Bassett, who is goals in her 60s, works incredibly hard and keeps a very disciplined regimen to maintain her physique and let's be honest, most of us are not that disciplined.

It is a weird flex to go to someone and say "that's why you old" as if time is not ever moving and one day they will be old too. No one stays in their 20s forever, unless they have unfortunately met an early demise and in that case, they truly are forever young but if you are aging, that God for the ability to live and enjoy life, no matter what age you are.

[thebadboyfanclub]

It’s Alright Darling (Sherlock x Reader)

Ok... Was this requested? No. Am I writing it cause anything Henry Cavill related makes me feel happy? Yes. Enjoy!

Being Sherlock Holmes assistant was something a lot of people would kill for and that makes it even better if you think about the irony of it. However, since Sherlock wasn’t a normal person to mostly everything he did, he had decided to hire a woman as his assistant, Mycroft called him mad and unhinged almost every time he brought up her name. (Y/n) was one of the most intelligent people he had ever been around, combining that with a charming personality was the recipe to success.

“Well, well, well I see my brother is full of surprises”

“Hello there Mycroft is so nice to see you again as well”

She spoke in an clearly ironic tone as she took of her gloves, she was never a fan of hats other than the occasions she knew she would be under the sun for hours. As she walked in the living room area for what seemed like their childhood home, Sherlock had requested for (y/n) to arrive a day later than the brothers, knowing that her and his older brother were like oil and water he chose to “prepare the grounds” first.

“Where is the young little Holmes?”

“Inside, talking with miss Harrison”

“Alright... who is miss Harrison?”

“Miss Harrison is an excellent teacher and a friend of mine, come to think of it maybe you should go in and ask her to take you as well... you might be a bit old but I’m sure she can make an exception”

Mycroft found (y/n) intolerant, she was dismissive, unladylike, mouthy and a feminist, he still does not understand what asset do she brought to his younger brother. She only smiled while sitting at one of the chairs

“I will let you know I was an excellent student in all my academic achievements, although I suppose you were one as well that doesn’t really prove someone’s intelligence or manners, right mister Holmes?”

Sherlock let a laugh be heard at (y/n)’s quick response, even though he would never take sides and sometimes wanted them to get along, he had accepted that it would never happen and simply enjoyed the situation.

“Amused brother? Of course you are as mad as her since you didn’t only hire her, you kept her around and brought her in my home”

“Now Now mister Holmes, what type of gentleman would you be if you threaten to through out not just a lady but your younger brothers guest, unfortunately you are just further proving my point about our little quarrel”

Before he had the chance to respond a young girl walked in, wearing a white undergarment dress and looking disheveled. The girl who (y/n) could only assume was the infamous Enola didn’t even notice her being in this room.

“No, don’t do this to me. Let me remain happy, I am happy here”

“You are a young woman now Enola, you need an education”

“Test me, on anything you think I need to know in order to be sufficient for this world”

“If she taught you so well, you wouldn’t be standing in your undergarment in front of me”

Silence fell in the room for a quick second. His disgusting answer to his own sister made (Y/n) get on her feet, Enola quickly let her gaze fall on the young woman that was now in her house.

“Why is that a problem Mister Holmes? Undergarments are scandalous for the men when a woman they are interested in wears them, she is your underaged sister”

“This is a family matter, it does not- I repeat- does not concern you”

“Of course it does not concern me, but it does concern me when a young girl is being held accountable for walking in her home, to her brothers, completely covered and still being shamed for it”

Enola understood by that quick argument the lady was not here because of Mycroft, so it only meant she was Sherlocks company, she is not his wife since if not invited he would have at least informed their mother, so perhaps a girlfriend?

“Enola you have no hopes of making a husband out of your state, neither do you... miss (y/l/n)”

“I don’t want a husband”

Enola claimed, raising her voice at the ridiculous claim her brother made. Even though they haven’t been properly introduced they had developed a mutually liking for each other, at a brief look they seemed to have the same outlook on life.

“And that is another thing you need to have educated out of you”

At that Enola turned to look at her other brother, Sherlock, who had remained radio silent throughout this entire conversation. Enola kneeled in front of him, as Sherlock looked at her and then broke eye contact to look down at the book he was holding.

“Sherlock, Don’t let him do this to me”

“You are his ward”

“Make me yours. Guide me. Teach me. For him I am nuisance. For you-”

“Enola. I’m sorry, but it’s out of my hands”

“Just like his cruelty to our mother was out of your hands”

Cruelty to their mother? No, Sherlock would have never allowed his mother to go through anything, he is a man of honor... isn’t he? (Y/n) felt her stomach tighten as she saw this tragic scene unravel, she hoped Sherlock would have accepted and took her in.

“She is not dangerous. She is remarkable and always has been. And if you still can’t see that then shame on you both”

“So remarkable she left you in my care”

Mycroft shot back. (Y/n) could almost feel the pain the young girl felt, you could see it in her eyes how that was an arrow straight in her heart. (Y/n) decided to step up and try to help, she approached the young girl with a kind smile and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Come on, let’s get you out of here to calm down. Seems like your brothers don’t share the same love and admiration you do for the woman that made them who they are”

“I am a self made successful man”

“but you wouldn’t be no man if the woman you frown upon had not broken her hips and went through hours of painful labor. Take that as some food for thought before you school me on my manners”

Sherlock looked at her in awe, as she stood proudly next to his sister and became the shield he should have been. Standing up for a girl you haven’t even spoken to or knew before this.

“Let’s go young Enola, seems like a woman’s presence is wanted here only when she does as she is told”

-

“Come in”

“Can I open this door and be promised that I will remain safe or are you holding a dagger and you are ready to take me out of this world?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, dagger you in your own household? I would probably wait to poison you a few days after we leave and write the paperwork of you firing me”

He smiled at her plan as he closed the door in her room. It was already nightfall and the only light here were a few candles, he had let her take a breather after the unfortunate event that had occurred previously. Even though he wasn’t the one that she went toe to toe with, his silence was as obnoxious to her as his brothers loud ignorance towards the female gender.

“You are upset”

“Of course not, why would I be? It’s not like you let that man embarrass his own sibling and talk down to his mother without her being in the room”

She had remained sited in the chair next to the table, a book open that seemed like she was writing on rather than reading it. He was aware she was holding a journal, he didn’t blame her for it, having a job like she did she was in desperate need of something to keep her sane.

“This is a very wary subject”

“I am aware of it, I just can’t seem to understand why not comfort her, try to change your brothers opinion, anything that will show you care for her, you do care for her, right Sherlock?”

“She is my baby sister (y/n), that’s a given”

She closed her book. She ran her hand through her  through her hair and got up from her sit, her hands going in front of her torso at a defensive demeanor, even when Sherlock should be cold or show his higher position to her, he couldn’t help but seek some type of truce with her, how could he not? She looked so beautiful even when she mad at him, the eyes he was so caught up in looked at him with fury, her delicate feature went harsh and she was dressed more... lightly now.

“I spoke with her earlier, she was in the garden”

“I know, I saw.”

“She asked me about you, asked me if you were my lady”

Her eyes went wide for a split second before regaining her composer and turned her back to him. She approached the window before she spoke.

“If you think of how she became familiar with me, she was probably certain I wasn’t even friends with your holier than God brother”

“You mustn't be angry at me”

“And why is that?”

“Because other than my sister and mother, I care for you and for your opinion about me”

She remained silent. Not only because she was caught off guard by his comment, she also didn’t know what he was talking about. Sherlock stepped closer to her, his steps making her heart flutter and her palms sweaty. He stopped when he was right behind her, he wanted to hug her, caress her, kiss her, still he was uncertain of how she would react.

“I still remember the night you got kidnapped”

Someone that Sherlock had helped uncover had escaped prison and kidnapped her. Luckily, she was retrieved safely yet again she was still shaken up by the scary experience, when Sherlock found her awake next to the fireplace she was so vulnerable and grateful to be alive she launched at him and kissed him passionately.

He shared his bed with her, in the middle of the night though she had gotten up and left, when morning came she acted like nothing had happened, barely even looked at him in the eyes for a week.

“Please Sherlock don’t pick at my brain”

“Why did you leave that night? Did you regret it that much”

“That night... was the most blissful I have ever been.... However you are still my boss Sherlock”

“That’s all I am to you? Your boss?”

(Y/n) turned to look at him, tears welling up in her eyes. Those eyes would be the death of him, it was with no doubt the window to her soul, that pure gentle soul of hers.

“What am I to you then Sherlock? This wasn’t just about me”

“You are.... what I never knew I needed”

His hands went up to her forearms instinctively, a soft caress that made her think his hands were made out of the finest silk, she felt goosebumps as he touched her. Her lips parted slightly as she took in a heavy breath, her eyes searching for a hint of a lie in his words.

“Sherlock”

“Shhhhh, It’s alright darling. You don’t have to say anything”

At that he slowly leaned in, his lips on top of hers at a shy and gentle kiss. Her hand went to his neck, bringing her torso to touch his as the kiss deepened, her entire body felt a rush go through it as they should the passion they held for each other with this kiss. As she pulled back her fingertips traveled to his face, taking in his attractive features

“I had almost forgotten how good of a kisser you are”

“Oh love, you will never forget it ever again”

[helenazbmrskai]

Shush

Wow. I think this is the filthiest and the most messed up shit I’ve ever written in my whole life send me holly water pls (after you enjoyed reading this duh) I don’t know how this idea popped up in my mind one night but yeah don’t come at me.

💊Title ‹ Shush ›

💊Pairing ‹ Jimin x OC (f) ›

💊Genre ‹ adopted brother au, forbidden/unhealthy romance, smut, angst › 

💊Summary ‹ Forbidden fruit always taste the sweetest and when the fruit comes in the form of an innocent boy it’s even sweeter. ›

💊Warnings ‹ emotional manipulation, discussions about an incurable disease, unhealthy relationship dynamics, some fluff, multiple smut scenes filthy so be aware!, mention (and brief description) of sexual fantasies, sub! Jimin, soft domme! OC, teasing, mention of porn watching, brief imagined masturbation, corruption kink, first time, virgin! Jimin, blowjob, handjob, good boy Jiminie, jealous OC, oral (f), fingering, unprotected sex (don't do this be safe!), exhibitionism, marking/biting, almost getting caught, dirty talk, riding, pls keep in mind that this is only fiction! don’t do this folks ›

💊Word count ‹ 6k ›

💊Masterlist

Brushing the snowflakes off my coat’s shoulder, I take a look around the spacious living room soaking in the warmth and waiting for my fingers to defrost, hearing nothing besides the wind that blows outside. Checking the clock on the wall I recall that mom should be still at work at this time around, nothing’s new.

I silently make my way upstairs then halting once I’m in front of Jimin’s bedroom door that has a big J on it. Mom would be upset if she knew I didn’t check on him first thing when I got home so I knocked once then twice before I heard muffled noises from the other side and the shuffle of sheets followed by a loud bang of something hard suddenly hitting the ground. The sound itself quite concerningly rings in your ears.

”Are you alright?” I place my palm on the wooden surface concentrating on the noises that I faintly hear filtering through the door, biting down on my lip as I still didn’t get an answer from him.

”Ok. I’m coming in!” I tell him after a couple of seconds of silence, I gave him enough time to yell out that he’s fine. I’m ready to burst through the door when his voice squeaks out a tiny unconvincing ’I’m good.’ but my hand is already on the doorknob. His body lays slightly off the bed when I enter his room, the bed under him is unmade and his hair is dishevelled sticking to different angles from all the tossing and turning looking soft, wearing only a thin white shirt and pyjama pants to bed. Probably haven’t gotten up from it all day.

”You fell off the bed again?” I chuckle, sending him an amused look spiced with an arched eyebrow – it’s not the first time I see him in this position – shaking my head from side to side, though my eyes reveal that I’m not angry just amused. I grab both his knees and help him to lay flat against the pillows just like he was most likely laying before. His eyes glow like a lightstick with a beaming smile on his face.

”Y/N, you’re home early.” Arching up a brow himself he situates his body to rest his back against the headboard interrogating the cause of my early arrival with a slightly hoarse voice. Jimin looks into a specific direction frequently enough for me to spot his staring. I reply to his statement with a roll of my eyes brushing his hair gently to the side after I checked he indeed has no fever. Giving him the benefit of the doubt that I have no idea he’s trying to hide something I smile back.

I scan through his room hoping to find out by the order of things are placed what he was doing before I got home, it’s easy to spot the differences since I’m the one who usually cleans in here but besides his laptop that sits on the far end of the bed instead of the desk, nothing else seems out of place.

”Why? Were you doing something you shouldn’t be?” I grin, at first the question was intended to be innocent but watching how Jimin’s face contorts into a scandalized look I know he’s up to no good. His expression soon gets replaced with shyness unintentionally a boyish blush spreads across his rosy cheeks. It gets me even more curious.

He gained some weight over the past weeks so his features are almost healthily filled out, the new medication seems to work better than the doctors had anticipated and right now he has minimal symptoms.

Mom must be pleased by the outcome, he regained so much colour to his pale skin too. I witnessed all his ups and lows, I still remember the day I met him. He was in a bad shape, bedridden, so pale and skinny like a skeleton. He couldn’t even sit up on his bed to greet me and when he opened his eyes hearing my mom’s voice calling out to him I came face to face with his teary eyes, hands grabbing his chest to ease the pain that he felt crawling his way up from under his ribcage as a silent tear rolled down his cheeks. He got better when mom decided to take him out of the care system and switched doctors to look after his further treatment.

I regarded him as a responsibility at the beginning of our relationship made sure he took his medication between meals just like my mother instructed. Cleaned his room and made him food when my mother was busy with work. She’s a nurse at the local hospital, she left me alone with him a lot, her job consumes a lot of her time so I had to take care of him almost every day after school even had to take a few days off so I can stay at home when his condition started to get worse and he needed more supervision than usual.

Be that as it may, he had his better days that I started to like so much, spending time with him stopped being an obligation and instead, the time spent together started to be the highlights of my days.

Listening to his angelic laugh, having him listen to me talking about my day. No boy or man ever paid this much genuine attention to me, only him. He has his eyes only on me.

His fierce response makes me come to my senses, dragging me out of my own consuming thoughts.

”Of course not!” He defensively spats my hands away when I try to pinch his cheeks. He looks very pretty when the sun shines on his face. He looks like an angel.

”Oh really? I guess it’s fine then to show me your laptop’s search history. How about right now?” I move faster than he can snatch the device so I’m able to get it and open his tab before he even lets a leg down to plant his feet on the ground.

However, I was not expecting to find something this interesting in his log history. Looking between the screen and his red face I tilt my head to the side seemingly deep in my thoughts. It’s not that I never acknowledged the fact that he’s a man in his mid-twenties and because of his unfortunate susceptibility to having a systemic autoimmune disease he never had the chance to socialise like it’s a norm for most people. The only other’s he meet day by day are my mother and I since he can’t go out because of his photosensitivity.

Maybe I could blame the stars that never flickered out of his naive eyes for the past ten years I’ve known him for not thinking that Jimin could have dirty thoughts. Well, this porn page clearly states otherwise.

I know it’s inappropriate to think about Jimin, my adopted brother, in this way but I can’t find it in me to stop the spiralling thoughts.

Wondering if he masturbates while watching these videos when I’m in school. How he grabs his cock with shaky hands, cute fingers coated in his precum. Wondering if he uses the same hand to hold mine innocently after he did dirty things to himself. I subconsciously rub my thighs together to ease some of the tension that gathered between my thighs, even fantasising about him makes me feel hot.

I feel bad thinking about him inappropriately when he’s sick but I can’t seem to feel the shame when I look directly into his bright eyes now. The rational part of my brain screams that it’s inappropriate even though we are not blood-related.

Heck, not at all as mom adopted him when his last remaining family member, his father died ten years ago.

Jimin’s facial expression is like an open book I read him so well. Poor boy can’t even lie everything he thinks about is apparent on his pretty face.

Afraid that I’ll call him names he lowers his gaze, waiting for me to tell him that I’m disappointed and disgusted by him now that I discovered his dirty little secret that he rubs one out to porn but oh boy he has no idea. That I think about him in a way a sister shouldn’t. That there is nothing wrong with being curious. He has all the right to be. It’s easy to forget he’s older than me when I’m the more experienced one in everything.

”Hey it’s ok,” I get to my previous position, sitting down on the edge of his bed right next to his waistline. I curl a finger under his chin to level his face with mine, showing him a small smile indicating that everything’s gonna be alright.

”I watch porn sometimes too, there’s nothing to be ashamed of here Jiminie. It’s only natural to be curious about it. It’s human nature.” He avoids making eye contact but a tiny nod in my direction shows me that he’s listening.

”If you want I promise I’ll forget that this ever happened. Do you want that honey?” Nudging his pinky with mine I offer him the chance to change the topic to something light.

”You won’t tell mom about it, right?” Nodding my head in agreement I assure him that this piece of information can be our secret and no one has to know that this conversation ever happened. It appears to calm him down gradually as he finally reciprocates my gaze and sighs in relief. What you didn’t expect to hear after that, however, was an explanation of why he started watching porn.

”I want to know how it feels.” Jimin admits shyly, looking around to avoid my eyes as he tells me his hidden thoughts and I find him truly endearing. The previous tense atmosphere seems to completely fade away as Jimin relaxes his muscles against the bedsheet and opens up his heart.

”What? Sex?” I asked, watching his reactions closely as I experimentally place my palm above his right knee. An innocent touch.

Jimin shivers into the contact but other than that nothing remarkably changes in his behaviour or posture. He pays careful attention to not let his feelings show up on his otherwise expressive face. Cute. Sooner or later I’ll know how he really feels about my advances as he can’t keep pretending for long. He was never good at it.

”Yes. They seem to like it so much when I’m watching those videos.” Humming approvingly I rest a manicured nail at the edge of his waistband, this earns a sharp inhale of breath but he doesn’t try to remove my touch that indicates he’s not uncomfortable with me touching him. He doesn’t seem bothered, just a little sheepish.

”You know, a video is nothing compared to the real thing.” I let a single finger slide under his shirt drawing circles into his hipbone eyes watching the way his chest moves up and down a little faster at that.

”What a shame that you don’t know pretty girls to have sex with.” Deciding it’s time to remove my hand I’m letting the limb fall to my side lazily. Jimin’s lips immediately form a pout after I stop making advances on his body, showing me that he was expecting something more. All this time I thought he doesn’t see me like I see him but maybe I was wrong assuming that. Gaining confidence I decide it’s time to push his buttons a little more.

”I’m sure girls would form long lines to get into your pants baby. I wouldn’t be surprised since you are so pretty.” The praise makes his ears bright red, mother did a good job with giving him a boyish undercut a good fashion choice to leave the tips longer so I can easily comb my fingers through it, curling a few strays behind his ears.

”Y-Y/N.” A breathy moan leaves his lips as I kiss the underside of his jaw on impulse, finding stability by grabbing onto his thighs to lean closer and breathe in his clean scent. I push him against the headboard but he doesn’t mind it at all, too lost in the moment, feeling my lips on his throat to register any pain.

I pull away slightly to reconnect our eyes. Jimin licks his dry lips, not having anyone to talk to until I arrived home, he kept his mouth shut only feeling now how dry his throat is all of the sudden.

A ghost of a smile appears in the corner of my mouth as I realise Jimin is watching my lips not even trying to conceal his desire to have another taste of the forbidden fruit. This is so wrong but his lips are so light against mine, afraid that if I apply pressure somehow this moment will end and I don’t want this to ever end but as the saying goes, nothing lasts forever in life.

The magical moment ends when I hear my mother’s voice from downstairs. ”Y/N, Jimin I’m home!”

The cheerful voice of my mother abruptly interrupts our first shared kiss, not letting him chase the taste of my cherry lip balm I place a small peck on his nose instead yelling back that we’re upstairs and we’ll be down in a minute.

”No need to rush,” I peck his forehead this time, giving his face small kisses to lift his mood. It’s comical how disappointed he looks with his nose scrunched up adorably. He really has no shame as he sighs licking his lips to taste the remaining flavour of our kiss.

”We can continue this tomorrow, we have so much time, I promise...”

And continue we do. True to my word I comply with his request pulling the oversized t-shirt over my head to reveal him my black lacy bra and the curve of my waist. His eyes devour the new uncovered flesh hands lingering in the air itching to touch my bare skin but too shy to do it without my permission. He remains frozen in the act. Dreamy eyes watching my reaction to his shy movements silently asking for a sign that it is alright to touch. He’s so curious he wants to hear those noises the couples always make in his videos.

I nod putting him out of his misery cradling his hand in mine to place the warm palm onto my covered breast I guide his movements fondling the flesh, his touch feels good despite the barrier between his skin and mine.

Slipping his hand under the cup his finger comes into contact with my nipple I show him how to circle the bud until it gets erect a small sigh escaping my lips. I had the sudden urge to steal a kiss so I leaned in to grab the back of his neck and crush our lips together no tongue just lips touching sweetly.

I removed his touch to intertwine our fingers placing both of our hands to rest against the bed leaning into his mouth more.

”Is that all that you want me to do?” I murmur the words into his mouth, encouraging him to say more, to do more. Jimin swallows the saliva in his mouth gaze significantly cloudy as he stares into my eyes, shaking his head. He got so far the current thoughts in his head are clearly not about stopping anytime soon.

”What else do you want then?” I press him to answer my question, following the line of his upper lip with my thumb smearing the lip balm that got transferred from my lips to his while kissing, Jimin took a shaky breath before opening his mouth.

”Y-your tongue.” His tongue seemingly came out subconsciously to wet his lips I closed my eyes moaning at the sinful image. He really did his research, I’m about to give him everything he wants if he keeps up with these innocent yet so dirty looks.

”Where do you want it?” I grin moving closer so our thighs are firmly pressed together letting go of his hand to cup his face with both hands. Bending my head to peck the outline of his vein on his neck his pulse quickens under my touch. Pleased to have had such a great effect on him.

”In my mouth.” He squeaks out his response when I bite into his shoulder careful not to really pierce his skin but let him feel a moderate amount of pain mixed with his pleasure. I smooth my tongue where I bit making sure that I don’t leave any marks on his perfect skin. I don’t want our mother to ask questions later.

”Hm,” I hum into his neck satisfied by the answer before lining our faces again to fulfil his wish. ”Open.” As soon as I command his lips part obediently waiting for me to slip my tongue into his awaiting mouth.

”Jimin. Can I touch you?” I sigh into his mouth, he tastes so sweet I can’t seem to get my fill as I discover every corner of his hot cavern licking the roof teasing him before letting our wet muscles touch in a heated battle for dominance. Jimin gets greedy soon as he pushes my tongue back to do the exploration of his own, the kiss turns sloppy and too much saliva. Hands clutching onto the duvet under him grounding his body swimming in euphoria from falling too deep into the feeling.

”Yes, please.” Our eyes open slightly to watch each other my mouth founds the corner of his lips then the side of his cheek and jaw before diving back in parting his lips with my tongue to continue tasting him.

With a feather-light touch, I snake my hands upwards his thin frame and tiny waist feels so fragile under my fingers. I want to pepper his torso with my kisses pushing his body down using his shoulders to see his weight bounce on the bed. But I can’t get so ahead of myself, Jimin deserves to be worshipped like the angel he is.

”Lay down on your back Jiminie.” I smile seeing how obedient he is following my orders without any complaints or questions. He trusts me so much.

The thought alone that he is under me letting me have my ways with him makes my underwear sit uncomfortably against my heat when I move my legs to straddle his hips I feel how drenched I am for him. So pretty and so eager under me as his head rests on the pillows he truly looks like an innocent angel.

I motion for Jimin to raise his arms so I can get rid of his shirt and finally do what I intended to do and kiss his body starting from his collarbones all the way to the line where his pyjama pants hide the delicious lines of his hip bones.

I press kisses of praises into his shoulder blades moving down following the line of his sternum to give attentive licks and pecks all over his stomach feeling his muscles tensing under my lips whines and other sweet sounds slipping out of his parted lips as he breathes heavily through his nose with his eyes closed.

When I let a couple of fingers slide under his pants I realise the lack of material under my touch. He’s not wearing his boxers. The outline of his dick is evident when I look down he’s not that long but where he lacks his grith makes up for it as I can already imagine how good he would feel buried in me stretching my walls so good.

”Do you want me to touch your pretty cock darling?” I don’t forget to ask for permission even though by now I can clearly see how much he wants all this. The sight itself, how his member strains against the concealing fabric is an awfully clear giveaway of his growing desires. Jimin maintains our eye contact with hooded eyes nodding his head fervently before he can confirm his needs with words. His body burns but not with fever.

”I..yes, please. I w-want you to.” Jimin squirms waiting for me to do something that would relieve some of the tension in his joints. His cock feels heavy in my hand ready to sink into my cunt anytime, I can’t wait to put my mouth around it first but I have to be patient. I circle a digit around the tip testing how much precum he has for me.

Holding the digit up to my lips I taste the slightly salty substance humming approvingly. Tugging his pants down I get to work giving a kiss to the tip before coating his member with my saliva so I can lubricate his shaft enough so it won’t hurt him. His whole body shakes when my mouth makes contact with his cock his virgin body overwhelmed with the new sensation the little pleasure already too much for him to handle.

I make a mental note about grabbing some lube on my way home tomorrow so I can be prepared for situations like this. My lips suddenly widen into a Cheshire grin as I deliver the last lick all the way up to the hilt replacing my mouth with my hand.

”Jiminie look here for a little.” I coax him to open his eyes again with a sweet voice. ”Like that darling.” I praise him when his eyes met mine, choosing the moment his gaze connects with mine to use the same hand that pleasured him to glide under my jeans and underwear mixing my arousal with his precum I moan for the show as I rub my clit before collecting my essence so I can use it on his dick giving him the needed extra lubricant.

Jimin’s eyes don’t stay open for long when I finally touch him properly with the intent of making him cum. He can’t seem to keep his moans and throaty whines to himself as I give him a confident grip increasing the speed of my wrist when his whines became more high pitched his body gives away all the signs when he shakes under my touch that he’s close embarrassingly fast but I don’t mind, it’s his first time after all. We can always work on his stamina later.

”Relax baby and just enjoy this.” I encourage him to let go, massaging his thighs with my free hand to relax his strained muscles, slowing down my strokes but give special treatment to the tip collecting the forming precum. ”There’s no need for you to hold back.” I peck his hip picking up my pace again for a few moments longer before taking him into my mouth waiting for him to cum swirling my tongue over the tip repeatedly.

”Y-Y/N.” My name comes out in moans like a broken record when he finally lets all the tension seep away from his body letting the building pleasure force him into submission as he cums into my mouth his body goes limp when the pleasure fades away after I let him ride out his high with gentle licks.

I place the duvet over his sleepy form after I help him back into his clothes, tucking him in as I kiss his cheek to say ’sleep tight’ with the gesture.

I toss the food around on my plate in front of me tentatively listening to the conversation held between my parent and her guest but not engaging, sinking my fork into the broccoli angrily as I hear Natalie’s sugar-coated voice destined for only Jimin’s ears to catch.

She leeched herself onto him as soon as she stepped into this house annoying me with saying stuff like ’you have such a nice brother’ just to emphasise my relation to him. Even my mom takes her side saying that they look cute together.

I know she wants Jimin to socialise, that’s why this dinner is purposefully held in the first place but I can’t seem to show a different emotion than disgust when I look at Natalie trying to woo my Jimin. She will never know how he sounds when he’s about to blow his load or how he would taste against her tongue because only I can see that side of him no one else, and especially not her.

  His ears are red from her constant compliments and I swear I even saw her hand grip his shoulder when she laughed about something my mom said, he shies away from her because he never kept a conversation going on with another girl that wasn’t me or my mom before but that doesn’t mean jealousy doesn’t bubble up in my chest when he doesn’t deny her advances explicitly.

The dinner continues for an awfully long time before I could excuse myself from the table to hide away in my room and peacefully start yelling into my pillow to relieve my pent up frustration throughout this unpleasant meal.

Either Jimin genuinely didn’t have a clue what she was implying or he was aware but fine with it I don’t want to waste any more time and watch her all over him. I continued sulking in my room when I heard a knock on my door grunting a ’yes’ before I resembled smashing my keyboard I suddenly felt the urge to complete that assignment I procrastinated on so I can keep my mind focused on something else.

I avert my gaze from the screen to see who’s my intruder but I refocus on my computer when I see it’s Jimin. I’m not in the mood to talk to him right now since the picture of Natalie all over him is the first image to enter my mind.

”What? Dinner’s over so soon?” I’m careful to use an unaffected tone when I speak up, holding myself back from making eye contact even though I would love to see his face, we haven’t got time all day to talk or cuddle at all since I had to help my mother all evening to prepare for this dinner that was a waste of time anyway.

Jimin stays silent not bothering to answer my question but I still refuse to look at him as I pretend to be absorbed in my work. Even if it’s far from reality when the only thing consuming my thoughts right now is that I want him to tell me no one else is going to touch him only I can make him feel that good. That he wants. No, needs only me.

”A-are you angry? Please don’t be.” I still don’t turn around and looks like it makes him desperate for my attention he thugs at my blouse but I don’t react.

I want him to panic take over his body so he won’t do this to me again. I have to busy my fingers with typing so I don’t move to card my fingers through his locks like I long to do when he lays his head on my lap kneeling on the ground to do so. I don’t push his head away but doesn’t react either.

Half an hour passes in this manner, only my typing is heard in the otherwise silent room Jimin’s head still resting on my thighs hands circling my waist. I’m halfway done with my assignment when I feel Jimin’s nose nudge my centre. I showered after I excused myself from the dinner to blow off some steam and calm down grabbing only a pair of underwear and a shirt to cover my body with.

Jimin placed a kiss on my clothed clit making my body jerk in surprise forcing me with his bold actions to finally look at him our gaze locks as soon as I look down. Jimin folds the sides of my blouse so he can get access to the rest of my underwear following my panty line with his nose.

”Can I make it up to you?” Jimin looks up with innocent eyes that have my stomach twist in excitement but I try not to show him how much he can affect me as well. I’ll still make him pay for his actions.

”So you know you did something wrong.” I scoff but it ends up in a gasp when he licks the front of my underwear without a warning.

I grip his hair to keep him in place holding him close enough so his head still rests on my thighs but not that close to letting him lick my centre again. He’s playing dangerous games right now but I don’t know if I have it in me to be gentle with him.

”You should stop before I can’t guarantee that I won’t lose my control.” I warn him through my gritted teeth, closing my eyes for a moment to focus on my breathing, his eyes grew bigger for a moment before the previous shocked expression morphs into something else.

He can’t reach my cunt from where he’s restrained by my hands so he licks the inner side of my thigh his teeth nibbling on my sensitive skin.

  I loosen my grip on his hair smoothing the silky locks out of his eyes but he cleverly uses the gesture to scoot forward and have another taste placing a more confident lick stretching the rubberband side of my panty with his teeth sliding his hands over my stomach that was previously so obediently circling my waist.

”You don’t have to do it.” I remind him, feeling out of breath from his kitten licks over my clothed mound.

”I know.” Jimin replies with a sweet smile adorning his face before he pulls my underwear down my legs slowly, watching with interest as I part my legs so he can have a good look at my glistening core.

”The girls from the videos always like it when the boy does this.” Jimin murmurs under his breath absentmindedly before rubbing my clit with his fingertips his digits dipping lower to catch where most of my arousal gathers a single digit nudging my entrance. I part my legs more so he can get more comfortable between them I let him get familiar with my most intimate part before I pull his hand away with shaky fingers.

”Taste it.” I order for him to pop his fingers into his mouth licking my arousal clean from them and he doesn’t disappoint as he does.

Now that his fingers are coated with his saliva I guide it back to my core. ”Want your finger in me.” I throw my head back when he enters, my walls sucking his finger in his movements are inexperienced and uncoordinated but I let him experiment until he gets the hang of it, and oh when he does. His one finger turns into two soon as he finds the best way to pound into my wet cunt curling the digits just the right way to make me see stars. ”Doing so good Jiminie.” I tell him between heavy pants as the rhythmical hard thrusts of his fingers starts to become too much to handle I feel my insides tighten just like my walls tighten around his fingers getting closer and closer.

I open my eyes to watch him lean down his hair tickling my inner thighs as he nestles between my legs licking at my clit while the movement of his hand never falters, the new stimulus that his visual between my legs and his tongue on my nub adds to the feeling, making me come undone around his fingers.

”Stand up baby.” I motion for him to stand as well, his finger slips out of my hole, with a confused expression plastered on his face but doesn’t question my intentions as he obligates standing on his wobbly feet I let him sit down to where I was before straddling his hips.

”Are you going to let me ride your cock? Make you mine?” I ask him using my sweetest tones before slowly kissing his lips making sure to map out his mouth once more before turning my attention to kiss the expanse of his neck.

”Yes. Fuck yes.” The way how the curse word slipped through his mind without him noticing is endearing, he can always surprise me with something doesn’t matter how much time I dedicate to learning his body and soul, he’ll always have layers to discover. These good days sometimes even weeks when his illness hides its ugly face into the background are so precious that I wish we could always be like this.

I situate my body so I can pull his sweats down I pleasantly discover that he doesn’t wear his underwear when his dick slaps against his stomach. I reach for one of the drawers where I know I placed the lube.

I squeeze some into my hand before wrapping my fingers around his fully hardened shaft smearing the lube over him Jimin whines when he feels the cold liquid hit his hot member moaning once I roll my wrist the way he seems to like so much. Have enough of the foreplay I position him in front of my entrance making eye contact with him before taking him in letting him have the chance of backing out.

Jimin’s thighs shake as I take him in fully he tries muffling his moans by biting down on my shoulder so our guests don’t find out what we are doing in my room. With a smirk on my face, I roll my hips getting the best responses as Jimin tries to hold back his cries tightening his hold on my waist to slow my thrusts down but I don’t listen to him as I start to grind down on him letting his member pull out almost all the way before sinking down enjoying how good he fills me up.

I slow down as a knock is heard at my door Jimin’s eyes widen in fear but I don’t let him move an inch as I silently take my seat with his cock buried between my folds he holds back a moan when I clench around him.

”Mom?” I call out to her, my voice a bit shaky but I was able to mask it away enough that it doesn’t sound suspicious.

”Are you alright? Can I come in?” I hear her worried voice, she probably heard Jimin’s louder cries and she thinks something’s wrong. At this moment I’m really glad that my mom is very dense.

”I’m feeling unwell so I’m going to sleep immediately but you go and have fun with the guests don’t worry.” I offer her my reply as I circle my waist can’t keep still as Jimin’s dick feels heavenly it shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does seeing how pathetically he tries to prevent my mother from hearing his moans but his innocent facade can’t fool me as I feel him twitch inside me as I talk to my mother while he’s balls deep in my cunt. I wonder if he wants us to get caught or that he would like me to fuck him in front of Natalie on our dining table so she can see she never had a chance with him.

”Fine but come and get me if you need anything.” She leaves with these last words without further protests and I thank her while bouncing on Jimin’s lap silencing his cries by kissing him hard. 

”What mom would think if she saw you in this situation Jiminie? Fucking me while you pretend to be an angel in front of her. Kissing her cheek with the same lips that were buried between my legs moments prior.” I whisper next to the shell of his ear he lets out embarrassed whines but I can feel him enjoy how I fuck myself using him.

My thighs ache as I increase the pace feeling so close again I guide Jimin’s hand between our bodies to make him rub at my clit he does it messily but it’s enough stimulation as I cum again watching as Jimin’s eyes squeezed shut close to reach his own high.

[tetralea]

omg please do smut prompt 13 “i really don’t care. You still look hot and i’m trying not to kiss/fuck you senseless right now” with tom x reader (maybe exes to lovers but what do i know)

Uuugh, it took me so long! Sorry! I hope you are going to enjoy!

Finally you decided, finally you are getting the tattoo you wanted for so long. Not that it is your first time, but it is a special piece. Having to go to a new place instead of your regular one was difficult, but you never imagined it to be this hard.

Even tho you did choose a place your ex-boyfriend told you a million times he would never work at, here you were, laying on your side unable to speak as Tom’s gloved hands moved on your skin.

You didn’t say a word, it was only the buzzing of the pen and your occasional sighs when he moved to a more sensitive point. You missed the times when he would have praised you for being so good and staying still and occasionally shooting you a huge grin.

No, not this time. You weren’t even facing him so he could reach you better, and now you deeply regretted your decision to wear only some plasters on your nipples to avoid any stains of ink.

‘I guess the fairytale life you were promised didn’t really work after all.’ Tom spoke slowly, his hands still moving steady, his voice stern. You wished you could have moved and saw his face but this was impossible.

‘Your guess is right.’ You had to gain some strength to be able to press the words past your teeth without sounding extremely rude or hurt. You had no right to be mean to him right now.

‘Perfect prince charming wasn’t, so dreamy and perfect as your parents wanted him to be?’ He pushed further, his hand coming up to your arm to position it a bit differently, turning you even more away from himself. It hurt.

‘He was.’ You admitted with a sigh you had to stop mid-motion to prevent your ribs from moving too much. ‘Too perfect.’ It was there the rambling, the rant, it was at the tip of your tongue and you were with the only person who you knew understood you more than anyone else, but how could you say all this to him. It’s been one and a half years now and you hurt him enough already.

Tom didn’t comment on that, just kept on working, occasionally shifting a little, his hand only a breath away from your breast now as he moved forward as the tattoo progressed. For a few minutes it was deafening silence again, now the little buzz didn’t help either. You felt the words forming on your lips and tried to prevent them from falling, but oh, well.

‘He was horrible.’ It was a start. ‘Childish, dumb, unable to take care of himself, stadoffish, mama’s fucking little perfect son.’ The words come easy and you felt your soul being lighter with every letter you pronounce. ‘He was awful, I don’t even know how that stupid engagement happened. It was so surreal and I couldn’t say anything, I didn’t say yes, I was just standing there, then he started to speak and then everyone assumed I agreed and I hated it. Every second of it.’

While you were speaking Tom read through the words he was marking your body with and smiled. It was obvious, of course he read the press release of the scandal. The guy was the son of a politician, so when you broke off your engagement it made into the papers easily. Tom didn’t want to lie that he felt relief mixing with satisfaction and almost happiness when he saw the news. He barely could see your face and he was sure you couldn’t see him smiling just a bit smugly right now.

‘He was insufferable, all he talked about was the greater good, and saving the poor and how great his father was and how great our kids would have been,’ you voice break just in time to hear the sound Tom made, half gagging half disgusted, ‘ well, too bad, he never fucked me.’

Oh, shit.

This was the tiny detail you never planned to disclose to your ex-boyfriend, but it was out and your body froze, cursing your luck that you couldn’t face him.

‘What?’ His voice was just as shocked yet a bit amused.

After a deep breath, which now you could take as the sharp pain was gone just as the pen and the hands, you could speak. ‘You heard it.’ Pressing your lips together, waiting for his answer you slightly turned, finally, being able to look at him. Those brown eyes were just as confused, he was caught off guard, his brows slightly furrowed, thin lips almost disappearing as he pressed them together.

The tension peaked as he opened his mouth. ‘Um,-’ he looked to the side, searching for his words, ‘we are ready, please go to the mirror to look at how your new tattoo looks.’

It was not the sentence you were waiting for, but you understood. You weren’t together anymore and didn’t even talk ever since. His tone was smooth, too smooth, like he was forcing himself to change the subject, but you didn’t object.

As you got up and walked to the mirror, taking in the new black, slightly red and swollen lines on your ribs, you were speechless.

‘I love it.’ You said it finally with a huge grin, your eyes moving up to find Tom’s reflection in the mirror.

‘I’m glad.’ He laughed, reaching up to touch the back of his head nervously. ‘I changed it a little, the curve, I thought it fits your shape better. I hope it’s ok.’ His words were quiet but confident as he reached out to point at that part being careful not to touch your skin.

‘Not much I can do about it now, ‘ you giggled ‘but I love it, it does look better. Thank you.’

His sigh didn’t escape your ears, neither as his expression instantly relaxed.

Neither of you said a thing, you just quietly admired his work with a huge smile on your lips, not even noticing the way he was looking at you. He knew he still had to wrapp it and all that but didn’t want to break the silence which now felt comfortable, neither wanted to take his eyes off you, admiring all the other tattoos on your skin which was all from him. His tattoos. His.

He marked you up too many times, all the evidence on beautiful display on your body. there was an all too familiar feeling in this thought, you being his.

He inhaled sharply before risking it all.

‘So, never fucked you, huh?’ He asked with husky voice, stepping closer, his chest only from and inch to your back.

‘No.’ The answer was honest and immediate. Your gaze finding his in the mirror, not letting it go, not even when he touched you hesitantly. ‘He said I was living in sin for long enough, but he will fix that.’ You quoted him, pouting clinically.

‘Guess, that worked out well. You never was the insatiable type. Never once begged me to take you again and again, never woke me up at 4 am because you were too horny or making me take an unusually long lunch break because we hit it off in the car.’ Tom’s voice was unwavering, neutral, like he was just small talking, but his body told you differently. Those long fingers were gripping your hips, his eyes darkening, his body now pressed to yours, him leaning close almost whispering into your ear.

‘Exactly,- ‘ you nodded, ‘never ever touched myself while he was sleeping next to me. Never fucked myself with my fingers thinking about you, imagining it being you, wishing you to be there and taking care of me.’ Your tone was the same, like you weren’t talking about the most intimate moments of your life, but there were no taboos between the two of you.

‘Hm.’ Tom nodded thoughtfully, his hands now moving up, his tumbs swiping the underside of your breasts. ‘Good. That would have been a shame.’ Now his hands gently cupped your tits, slowly fondling them, taking in the way they moved under his movements from the mirror. ‘But also, ‘he purred, and looked up to look at you for real as he turned you in his arms, ‘it means I was the last person who got to have you, and that just makes me feel in a certain kind of way.’ He was close, but not enough. You couldn’t answer, not in this situation, not after what he just said, not when he was looking at you like this. It was all too familiar, the longing, the desire, the admiration, the promise.

‘Tom,- ‘you started something what sounded like an excuse to break your small bubble, and he couldn’t have that.’

‘I really, don’t care.’ One of his hands let go of you just to move up and press his fingers to your lips. ‘You look so hot and I’m trying not to kiss or fuck you senseless now.’ He pressed that small word harder making you forget every objection you had, letting him lean impossibly close, feeling his hot breath on your mouth.

‘Just do it then.’ You whimpered onto his lips, capturing them in an intoxicating kiss. It was everything you longed for, it was so familiar again, and you couldn’t get enough this time either. His kisses made you light headed, moaning into his mouth, pulling on his soft curls pressing your bare chest to his black shirt. His hands were squeezing your hips urgingly, as his lips were caressing yours, his tongue tasting you again, finally. It eventually slowed down, reducing to small kisses, small pecks before starting all over again, with an impatient whimper. He wanted to press you to something, to feel you under his body, to fuck you silly then and there but he didn’t dare to. He had to cover up the tattoo, and he was practically still working.

He slowed down the kiss to be able to speak. ‘We need to finish this beauty on your ribs, then I am free. If you are serious, we can go to mine, and I promise you won’t be able to walk tomorrow, darling.’

Tagging: @we--are---not--afraid, @tomsrebeleyebrow, @tomhollandsmut, @tomhollandd, @tommysparker, @duskholland, @greenorangevioletgrass, @tomhollandspideys, @thurstyforholland, @hollanddolanfluff, @z-ukos

[crazy-czech-fangirl]

Kristen Stewart - Howard Stern interview

Yesterday I saw the interview with Howard Stern and wow. I’ve never seen her so openly speak about the Twilight era and relationship with Rob. So I decided to transcript the parts about Twilight and Robert because I couldn’t find it anywhere. If you have time go watch the whole interview it’s really worth it!

****

H: The way they’re covering your romance with Robert Pattinson and all this.. I had him on the show and he said no relationship could survive the intense scrutiny that we were under. It was insane.

K: Yeah it was. I mean we wanted to like keep it ours so it was like this thing of going like..well do you like live openly and share your life in a way that actually entitles you to living it sort of more freely and naturally or do you like put it on lock because you hate the idea of perpetuating this like commodified version of your..something that feels real to you and you’re like ‘I’m not selling you shit’! But then you actually deprive yourself of like so many experiences. Like we didn’t walk down the street holding hands because we were like ‘Don’t wanna give it to them’ but then we didn’t get to walk down the street holding hands. And it sucked.

H: Of course it sucked because the best part of the relationship with anyone..

K: Is screaming from the rooftops!

H: ‘I’m in love!’

K: Yeah!

H: And walking around holding somebody’s hand.

K: I know.

****

H: ....Not only were you falling in love with Rob on the set.. Which by the way I think is the biggest mistake an actor can make.

K: There was nothing I could do.

H: The director was even nervous because the first time you guys kind of auditioned together to see the chemistry..it was an immediate chemistry between the two of you.

K: Yeah, yeah. It’s so weird like actually being honest about this like it’s been so heavily consumed and I have this fear that people would assume that maybe I’m like..’oh cool you’re still pushing that narrative’ and it’s like ‘No I’ve actually never been allowed to just say what happened’. Because I was so self conscious about seeming like an attention seeker.

H: Or taking advantage of the fact that you guys were dating.

K: Yeah exactly. We were together for years. That was like my first..you know..

H: Love.

K: Yeah. I mean like I was super in love with my high school boyfriend. Super in love with him. But me and Rob were like little older and it was like *GOGUM*.

H: He’s a charming guy.

K: Yeah he’s the best.

****

H: Rob when he was here told me with Twilight that they wanted to go a whole other direction . They wanted you to be smiling and him to be smiling. Be a lovable little vampire. And he said it was tremendous pressure to act that movie the way he wanted to.

K: Yeah. Honestly thank god he had that.. I mean he like..he wouldn’t do it the other way. And I don’t think he even had that in his wheelhouse like his body wouldn’t do that. And I mean mine either. I was like..The only reason this is good is because it’s like “Aaargh” and they were like ‘But it’s not fun!’. We took a lot of slack. Like we were constantly being like reprimanded and thank god we stuck to our guns because that’s why the movie works.

H: Yes. Yes that’s exactly why the movie works.

****

H: Would you recommend to other young actresses that they fall in love during their movie or should they avoid it? Because that’s my point. You say you couldn’t have stopped yourself falling in love with Rob.

K: I don’t think it’s really a choice..

H: Isn’t it dangerous because the set is such an aphrodisiac. It’s like..

K: Maybe it’s not real. Yeah but then you could apply that to any other...What is?

H: What is real?

K: Yeah.

H: Because they cater to you, they’re treating you like you’re a star..

K: Mmmm no.

H: No? It wasn’t like that?

K: No. Not at all. ‘Get your ass to set and start smiling bitch’. And I’m like ‘Nope’.

H: But did you have a sense that you were in trouble now that you were in love. Because you’re like ‘oh this is cliched I’m falling in love with my costar’.

K: I thought that was the coolest thing ever and I was so proud of it and I was like ‘We’re like rockstars dude’. I was like ‘Yeah you wish you had this.’ You know when you have that thing and you’re like ‘This is the coolest’.

H: Well it’s cool too because you’re really trapped in like high school or college and at least you have this great outside romance going on.

K: It was fun.

H: But it’s always doomed isn’t it because it’s just too much pressure when you got famous as you did so quickly.

****

H: Trump was consumed with the fact that you and Rob Pattinson had broken up.

K: Sure. Yes.

H: And he started tweeting against you saying ‘Hey Rob you can do much better than Kristen Stewart’.

....

K: You would think that he had more important things to do. It’s absurd.

...

H: Did you ever talk to Rob about it? Did you ever say ‘Can you believe the president of the United States is carrying on about our relationship.

K: Yeah we got back together. We like went through a thing and it fucking sucked but like we really wanted to be together...I don’t remember that particular conversation but we definitely were talking about everything at that time.

****

K: I had people genuinely asking me if that relationship was real or fake. And I was like..

H: Like the movie fabricated it for publicity.

K: Right yeah.

H: But they did used to do that in the old days.

K: I know it’s such a weird studio system old school way of...You really think at this point after all these years like that I’m..like that’s how I live my life?

H: There’s no way a relationship could survive the types of scrutiny that you guys had.

K: We were also just so young you know what I mean like there are stages..life is long..yeah.

H: Was there a point you would have gotten married do you think?

K: I don’t know.

H: I wonder..imagine

K: I wanted to..Yeah no I mean like I think I’ve never...

H: If he proposed you would have gotten married.

K: I don’t know. I’m not like a super duper traditionalist but at the same time like I...every relationship that I’ve ever been in I thought ‘This is it’. I’ve never like casually dated..I mean maybe one or two..Yeah I’m not giving everyone that. But like I’ve never really been the most casual person.

****

K: (what she could have done better while acting) .. and certain parts of Twilight. New moon I totally screwed up the like devastating..I was so in love with Rob and so happy that I couldn’t imagine losing him. But now I’m like ‘oh man I could have really done better work in that movie’.

****

H: (Snow white and the huntsman) That movie did really well. And then they didn’t ask you to be in the sequel.

K: We lived in a different time then you know what I mean. I feel like the slut shaming that went down was like so absurd. And they should have put me in that movie it would have been better..not to be a dick but..

H: You’re sayin there was slut shaming of you?

K: Well they didn’t put me in that movie because I went through a highly publicized scandal. So they were like scared of touching that.

H: Because you fell in love with the director? So that’s why they didn’t have you in the sequel? That was a dumb move.

K: I think so.

H: Isn’t that wrong though? Not to put you in a sequel because you fell in love with the director?

K: Well I wouldn’t say that I fell in love with the director...

H: Oh you had an affair..

K: Yeah that was weird..that was a kind of a weird thing. But I definitely...It wasn’t that big of a deal. Do you know what I’m saying. It’s like literally..

H: No because I’ve actually forgotten about it.

K: Yeah..

H: People at the time think it’s a big deal.

K: The work is so much more important. It’s like what do you care if I..I just thought that that movie actually..we could have made a great second one and we could have done it in a functional and healthy way. And then we didn’t ultimately do that and that’s okay because I did other stuff and it’s fine but yeah..that was weird.

H: So you were blamed for not being in the second movie because you had sex with somebody. That’s what you’re telling me?

K: I did not fuck him.

H: Oh you didn’t fuck him?

K: No I didn’t.

H: Oh so why not clear that up? Why not say that?

K: Who’s gonna believe..It doesn’t even matter

H: I believe you.

K: Honestly I feel like you do and I actually feel like this is the most honest setting I’ve ever been involved with.

H: You have been so honest with this so why did you get pegged as fucking..

K: Well because it looks like..you know you make out with a dude in public it definitely looks like you...

H: Oh oh so it was an innocent sort of thing and the media made it out to be a big deal.

K: Yeah I mean look it wasn’t innocent that was like a..you know that was a really hard period of my life. I was like really young and like um...

H: Well it’s understandable you’re a young woman. Yes ok you were going out with Rob...

K: Yeah I didn’t really know how to deal with that and I made some mistakes.

H: Hey guess what everybody does.

K: Yeah exactly. And honestly it’s no one’s business and people get over shit like that. You know what I mean? It’s really not a big deal. Basically what I’m saying is the work to me genuinely was ignored in a really sort of frivolous like silly petty way. For a group of adult people who were like supposed to be running studios and making films that’s what you..I mean honestly the film industry in Hollywood is so fear based and there are like equations that lead people to massive decisions that you assume are creative that are not at all.

H: Yes.

K: And so like that didn’t fit in their equation. And I think they are idiots because if you take a little risk and you make something good people will watch it and like it and pay you.

[i-am-a-bad-influence-writes]

Red, White, and Blue neon lights

Steve Masterlist - Full Masterlist

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Bucky knew damn well Steve wasn’t going to get any action himself and after the fiasco at the fair, he decided it’d be better to just have him look at women instead of having to keep them entertained. But leave it to Steve to fall in love with a burlesque performer.

Word count: 2616

Author’s note: This is with Steve after the serum. Just pretend they’re on a break from the war or smthng. I know full well that it doesn’t work like that, but I want to do this around the forties. Also, I wrote this quite quickly cause I was inspired so I didn’t preread it. Gif isn’t mine.

In the darkest alleyways of the city, Bucky drags Steve along to a bar with red, white, and blue neon lights forming the, now iconic, uncle Sam poster. From outside, Steve can hear music that is nowhere near the music you ordinarily hear in bars. It slow and sensual. He reads the sign above the door. Doll Dizzy*. America’s finest broads. “Of course they had to word it like that,” Steve thinks to himself, almost visibly shaking his head.

‘Why are we here again,‘ Steve asks Bucky, obviously uncomfortable because of the unfamiliar scene while Bucky looks to fit in.

‘Well, I was thinking-‘

‘That’s never a good idea.‘ Steve gains a slap to the arm from Bucky while he grins at him.

‘Oh shut your hole,‘ Bucky laughs, ‘see, I was thinking. If Captain America is worse at pulling chicks than a chrome dome geezer, than why not bring him somewhere where the girls are already in their unmentionables?‘

‘I feel like I should be offended.‘ Bucky grins again and puts his arm around Steve’s shoulders.

‘Come on, lets just enjoy the night.‘ Steve sighs and nods, following Bucky into the dim establishment. Bucky buys the both of them a ticket and they walk into the bar.

Inside, everything is doused in neon lights. On their left is a bar with more liquor than even Steve could ever consume and in front of them are tables, booths, and a stage. Everything looks quite overly dramatic to Steve. The curtains that cover the stage are the same ones you see at the theater and the booths and tables look a bit more like they belong in a club uptown. 

Nevertheless, Bucky guides them to a booth in the back. A little discreet spot and Steve thanks him for it. His image as America’s golden boy is still imminent and he wants to keep it going that way after all that’s happened.

A scarcely clad woman comes to their table and Steve turns a bright shade of red. He tries to look anywhere but her body, but all he gains are giggles and laughs from both the woman and Bucky.

‘Afternoon gents, what can I get ya?‘ She seems friendly, but Steve still finds it hard to stay respectful.

‘My friend here has to get a bit of a buzz,‘ Bucky tells the woman with a pat on Steve’s chest, ‘what’ll do that for me?‘

‘Got just the thing. I’ll be right back.‘

‘Thanks doll.‘ The girl scurries off and Steve finally breathes again. Bucky laughs.

‘Where in the heavens did you bring me?‘

‘It’s a burlesque bar,‘ Bucky grins, ‘it’s about as much fun you can have without anyone being naked.‘

‘I don’t think-‘

‘No, stop,’ Bucky waves a finger in his face, ‘don’t think. Just enjoy the show. It’s just singing and dancing, but the girls just aren’t wearing their petticoats. That so bad?’

‘I suppose not.‘

‘That’s a good lad,‘ Bucky speaks proudly. The girl comes back over with their drinks and puts them down. She brought them a shot and a beer to chase it. Bucky hands Steve a shot and clinks their glasses together. ‘To beautiful women.’ 

Steve sighs and throws the shot back, knowing it’ll do nothing for him. At least Bucky is having a good time.

The curtain opens and a man in suit stands on the stage holding a piece of paper and a microphone.

‘Good evening gentlemen,‘ he says with a dirty smile. It’s the kind of smile that makes Steve feel dirty to be here. ‘We have some beautiful dolls waiting to perform for you, but first the rules. Rule number one, you don’t touch the girls. Touch the girls and you will be escorted out. Number two, no forceful behavior towards our girls. We care for our girls and we will throw you out. Number three, no vulgar language about our girls. They are here performing for your pleasure. Thank you very much for your attention. We have a beautiful line of women standing ready for you. Rose, Pansy, Lavender, Peony, but right now I have the pleasure to introduce to you, our pride and joy, Jasmine.‘

‘Are those their real names,‘ Steve asks Bucky in a whisper.

‘Of course not,‘ Bucky chuckles.

They watch as the curtains close for a short while. When they open again, a woman in a red, floor-length dress with a sweetheart neckline and a slit all the way up to her hip so you can clearly she see isn’t wearing knickers steps onto the stage. Her lips painted as red as her dress and her hair done beautifully. She stands behind the microphone, barefoot. 

The men begin cheering when the piano man starts playing and the girl starts swaying her hips. Steve’s eyes go wide when he hears her voice. She has this southern sound to her voice, but it sounds heavy and dragging. It’s the kind of voice that has a story. It’s to beautiful to be like that naturally. She could put most famous singers to shame in Steve’s opinion.

‘A real looker, ain’t she,‘ Bucky elbows Steve to get his attention, but he just hums in agreement. It doesn’t strike Bucky as anything strange when Steve seems to be staring so intently at the woman. After all, they are here to ogle women.

The number ends too soon. Steve turns his attention back to his glass while Bucky continues to enjoy the women on the stage.

Song after song passes until Jasmine returns to the stage, this time dressed in much less. To Steve, she’s still as beautiful as she was before. He enjoys her singing and her enjoyment in singing. This time around, she seems to be looking at him as well. When she dances, she seems to look for his reaction every time it’s a bit more scandalous.

Or maybe he’s just imagining it. After all, there are lots of guys here. Maybe she’s looking at Bucky. Bucky is much more confident and was always considered the better looking one of them. And suddenly the song has passed.

A few minutes later, their waitress puts a bottle of champagne on their table with three glasses.

‘Oh, we didn’t order this,‘ Steve says, looking at her in confusion. She throws him a smile and just walks off. ‘What was that all about,’ he asks Bucky, but he just shrugs.

‘Good evening gents, may I join you,‘ a female voice asks them. The two look to their side and there she stands. Jasmine dressed in her clothes from the last song, or lack thereof, and a sheer robe tied over it.

‘By all means,‘ Bucky smirks, pulling Steve to his side so she’ll slide into the booth on his side.

‘I must say, I never expected Captain America to visit a place like this one,‘ she looks smug, almost proud, ‘I think this kind of corruption calls for celebration. Bucky, darling, could you open the bottle for us. Don’t shoot it please, it’s expensive.‘

Bucky follows her orders to a tea, like a good soldier should. He pours the glasses, handing her the first as a gentleman should. But she seems to have much more attention for the bigger man.

‘Cheers, to your corruption,‘ she says to Steve. He gives her a shy nods and the three take a sip. ‘So how’d this git manage to drag you down here?‘

‘Git?‘

‘What’s that? Can’t take a bit of ragging**, Barnes,‘ she teases, but quickly turns back to Steve, ‘well? You don’t seem a man who goes around in the sticks***.’ Steve isn’t sure what to say. It’s not like there’s any way to talk this into a good thing. He was nearly dragged by his hair.

‘The man has a hard time talking to women,‘ Bucky tells her, ‘so I thought I’d bring him here so he wouldn’t have to talk.‘

‘Ah, like so. Well, if I’m bothering you, you can just say.‘

‘Oh, no, I quite enjoy your company,’ Steve mutters barely audible. She grins brightly an shuffles and bit closer to him. Most of the talking is still done by Bucky and Jasmin, but he quite likes her with them. She leaned into him more and more, teasing and playing with the cuffs of his sleeves.

‘Well gents, thank you for a wonderful night. I best get going if I want to catch the last bus,‘ she smiles and gets up, ‘maybe I’ll see you two around?’ Bucky nods, but Steve is still amazed and quiet. She leaves looking utterly amused and Steve knows he’s blown it. His heart was beating too damn fast for him to be able to get any words from his mouth.

‘Ey, loverboy,‘ Bucky snaps his fingers in front of Steve’s face, ‘you good?‘

‘Yeah, fine.‘

Into the cold of the night they step. Bucky and Steve. Bucky obviously fairly buzzed, Steve awfully sober. If only he’d be able to get at least a little buzzed to match his friend. But hey, at least he doesn’t have to call a cab.

Steve drags Bucky in the direction of the car when he sees this pretty little thing sitting by the bus stop. He recognizes her right away. Jasmine.

‘Evening,‘ he greets with a small smile. She looks at him and smiles, leaning back a little to straighten her back and make herself look bigger.

‘Evening capt’n, did you have a good night,‘ she asks cheerfully.

‘Wonderful. Thank you for spending some time with us,‘ he gives a small nod in appreciation.

‘Your friend ok?‘

‘Buzzed,‘ he explains to her with a shrug, ‘nothing I can’t handle.‘

‘I can see that. He’s basically sleeping.‘

‘You miss your buss?‘ She nods, her smile faltering. ‘Need a ride?‘

‘Sorry I was acting so-‘

‘Don’t bother,‘ she giggles, ‘most proper men get weird around the bar. Just glad you’re one of them. Would be a real shame if Captain America turned out to be a dick, wouldn’t it?‘ He smiles at her joke. He know she’s just saying it to make him feel at ease, but it sounds sincere and he grasps onto that part rather than the other.

‘May I ask your name? I feel strange calling you Jasmine.‘

‘It’s Y/N. Y/N Y/L/N.‘

‘Y/N? That’s a very pretty name,‘ he compliments, trying to sound smooth but the happiness on his face is hard to miss.

‘Thank you.‘ He notices she’s staring at him while he drives. Bucky is snoring in the back seat, but it still feels quite romantic in the front. He does feel nervous, but she makes it feel easier.

‘Say Y/N, I know this isn’t quite how it’s supposed to go, but may I ask you to join me for dinner sometime?‘ He takes a quick peek over at her shocked face. 

‘Oh, ehm, wow,‘ she stammers. 

‘You don’t have to of course,’ he quickly tells her to make her feel at ease, but then he hears her giggle.

‘I would be honored to join you for dinner,‘ she gleams, ‘I just didn’t expect you to have the guts to ask.‘ She looks to the snoring figure in the back. ‘He’d be proud of you if he heard.’

‘We’re here.‘ Steve parks the car on the curb and runs out to open the door for her on her side. She smiles brightly when he does and takes his hand.

‘Such a gentleman,‘ she comments, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek while she gets up, ‘I like it.‘ His face turns bright red again as he walks her to her front door. ‘Wait here for a second,‘ she asks him before slipping inside. He watches the lights turn on and some rumbling inside. It takes her no longer than a minute or two before she comes back to the door holding a piece of paper. ‘My address and phone number.‘ He nods and takes it, putting it in his breast pocket.

‘I’m sorry I sound so impatient, but would you be free tomorrow,‘ he asks her, ‘see, I don’t know when I’ll be deployed again.‘

‘Tomorrow would be wonderful. Pick me up at six?‘

‘Certainly.‘ The two stare at each other for a moment, his eyes looking at her soft lips. She took off the red lipstick, but they still look amazingly inviting and soft. ‘Would it be improper to kiss you right now?‘

‘It would,‘ she answers with a mischievous smile, ‘but you’ve already seen me in my unmentionables.‘ He takes a step closer to her, gently resting his hands on her hips as she lays her hands on his shoulders.

‘We’ve been doing this whole thing backwards, haven’t we?’ She smiles at him as she feels her heart beating faster and faster. Men like this are hard to come by. And she even found one she actually likes.

‘We have,‘ she answers and presses her lips against his. It’s a short, but wonderful kiss. The both of them gleam when they let go of each other in a state of pure bliss. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.‘ He nods and watches her go inside before he gets back in the car.

‘Who would’ve though.‘ Steve jumps out the sound of Bucky’s voice. 

‘Jesus Christ Buck, you scared me,‘ he puts a hand to his chest trying to control his breathing and the adrenaline running through him.

‘I’m proud of you punk,‘ Bucky smiles and pats Steve on the back, ‘she’s quite the catch.‘ Steve smiles proudly, but looks down at the steering wheel.

‘Of course I have to manage to fall in love with a woman completely out of my reach,‘ Steve laughs, ‘it’s not the first time.‘

‘But this woman obviously wants you too,‘ Bucky tells him. They both know they’re revering to Peggy who has always been out of reach for Steve.

‘How can you be so sure about that?‘ Bucky gives him an unbelieving look, confused at Steve’s words.

‘I’m sorry, did you forgot you were just kissing her at the door,‘ he asks the man next to him, ‘believe it or not, this woman is interested in you.‘ Suddenly, Steve gets scared once again. This time because of tapping on the window. Steve rolls his window down and sees Y/N again.

‘Hey, I’m sorry to intrude, but would you want to come inside? Oh, hi Bucky.‘

‘I would love to.‘ She nods with a disappointed look on her face, knowing where this is going.

‘But you have to drive Bucky back.‘

‘I do.‘

‘No you don’t,‘ Bucky stops him, ‘we’re less than a mile from base. I can walk. No problem. Need to sober up anyway. They don’t like drunks at the base.‘ He’s more talking to her than to Steve. He knows the only convincing Steve needs is her convincing. His won’t work. He’s already overused that today.

Before Steve can say anything, Bucky is out of the car. He salutes Steve and Y/N and head in the general direction of the base. Speechless, Steve gets out of the car and follows Y/N inside.

She sits him down on the couch and curls up on the other side, both of them holding a cup of tea. She seems much shyer than before, but a good kind of shy.

‘Tell me if I’m going to fast,‘ she mumbles, ‘but I’ve never met a man quite like you and I’m sure my momma would tell me to keep you as close as I possibly can.‘

‘That’s a big compliment. Thank you,‘ he smiles shyly. She puts her cup of tea on the coffee table and moves towards him on the couch. 

‘Can I kiss you again?‘

*Doll dizzy: A boy who’s crazy about girls. **Ragging: Making fun of, nagging. ***In the sticks: Undesirable location.

A white Jasmine stands for sweet love.

[lin-dorie]

Cuties/Mignonnes, from the project to the meaning and international public interactions

OK Let’s talk about it. 

Let me tell you what Cuties is really about, the meaning behind it and what you need, as an international public, to understand it properly.

/!\ Spoilers needed. 

So Mignonnes/Cuties is French-Senegalese movie produced by Bien ou Bien Production in collaboration with Netflix for international distribution. Maimouna Doucouré is an award winning director, she’s french-senegalese, 35 years old, grew up with a dad and two mothers surround by a big religious family. Nothing wrong, just a little girl having thoughts and dreams like any others. 

Mignonnes, her very first long metrage, is based on a study she conducted for the project. She interviewed hundreds of young people with her team (pedopsychologist included) to collect a lot of infos and ressources to built a movie dealing with young people anxiety, sexual discovering, bullying, social media and young black people representation in movies. 

I. Story telling from someone who watched it.

Amy is 11 year old, she came in France with her mom and little brother. While hidden, she discovered that her dad is in Senegal and will soon come back with a second wife as it is authorized by Islam and accepted in Senegal. Her mom and aunt don’t tell her anything but she saw her mom crying about the topic, not knowing what’s happening, she ressents her dad and her condition as a refugee, the typical “it was better where we were before”. 

Her family is muslim, she wore a hijab to her religious ceremonies and practice like she was told to, without the opportunity to do otherwise. In her building there’s a girl, Angelica, she has a rebellious side in opposition to her workaholics parents and she dances hip-hop style which Amy has never saw. She befriend her and her circle of friends and decided to dance with them at a local championship. In order to learn the dance and prove to them she was “cool”, she stole her cousin’s phone, got herself instagram and started relooking herself as a young woman instead of the pre-teen girl style she got before.  But, she gets her periods. She’s afraid, she’s anxious, but most of all she doesn’t understand because nobody told her. Her aunt take care of her telling her “you’re an adult now” and how she wish she’ll live a beautiful life like they are. This is a problem as Amy doesn’t know what it is to be “an adult” nor does she know what it is to grow up, and the only roles model she has at home are her sad mom and her ultraconservative aunt. So she starts acting out, comparing herself to more developped girls, tries to be like them and starts mimicing them for their dances. While fighting for the phone she stoled with her cousin, she locks herself in the bathroom and posts an intimate photo of her on instagram as a last proof she’s a woman. Obviously, she’s getting bullied in school for that, her mom come, slap her across the cheek, call her names and ground her.  Amy became depressed and in her anxiety, tries to reach out for her friends who turned their back on her so they won’t be associated with her.  Nonetheless, she succeed into entering a championship with her former-friends and are disqualifies due to highly innapropriate behaviour on scene.  She go back quickly to her house during a panic attack, her mother comfort her telling her she doesn’t have to attend her father’s wedding if she doesn’t want to. Reassured, she skip the wedding and go play with kids her age. -END-

II. Producing and interpretation. 

DISCLAIMER : Self-made interpretations as someone who’s into thoughtfull movies. It may changes from one person to another. 

As sais before, it was produced by Bien ou Bien Production which a french production corporation based in Bordeaux. They are producing movies dealing with diversity, social issues, minority representation and religious debunking. They also produced Doucouré’s award winning short film “Mom(s)” that was dealing with the topic of polygamy in Senegal, and was based on her own life. 

Being produced by them again for her long metrage was a financial security and a very good deal. She got a France TV (public channels organisation) financial deal and scored that spot into Netflix international catalog making her one of the only black french-senegalese woman director into the international catalog. 

Obviously, as it is not a movie for children/teenagers, there’s few meanings behind the already well written script : 

Growing up without ressources : Amy is a stereotypical 11yo girl who doesn’t know anything about relationships, sexuality and woman body. It is well know that parents tends to have “the big talk” with their children when they are around 15-17yo, but puberty starts around 13yo and with that : sexual desire discovery, gender identity crises and body changes. Innocents idioms like “you’re a big girl now” or “you’re not a child anymore” shortenned childhood, leaving young girls without ressources to develop themselves and, often, shame to ask for answers.

Female representations and social media : We can’t criticize this movie without putting a context around it. Our society has been developped around certains standards, weither they are socials, professional, personnal... Social media and main stream TV promote a way of life that is unattainable for 90% of us but they give us the opportunity to act “as if”. In this movie, Amy is just like one of us except that she is way too young to understand the behaviour she is immitated. You can see it when she doesn’t understand why her friends are lying about their ages, when she’s pushing a girl into the water (possibly drowning the girl), when she cries on stage in front of those parents judging her... What Doucouré is trying to show us is that little girls are little girls, they aren’t tough enough to be shown anything just because it’s socially accepted. 

Children education :  To me, this is the main purpose of the film, showing that it is important to educate children. Predatory behaviour, public image, false advertisment, relationships... There is no “right time” to talk about it, and most of the parents are too late, the fact is protecting your children is also making them understand why this behaviour is dangerous, why this outfit is innapropriate and never blame your children for mistakes they can make. Amy is the exemple of what could happen if you don’t educate your children, and she is brave enough to rise when her my mom take a step toward her to comfort her. 

Religious family and sexual education :  As an atheist, I won’t talk about metaphors behind the prayers or anything, someone who believe in their God the same way her family does will be more adequate to talk about it. But it is one of the main critic and thus, I have to share facts : The movie isn’t centered around it, the only reason it is here is because they needed a traditional figure such as the aunt, they needed a strict environment such as a religious family and they needed a twist that would put the little girl into a negative feeling, they needed her to ressent her situation as a refugee in order to criticize how it is to grow up without help. So why Islam ? Well, in France, we have two main religions : Roman Catholics and Islam. Using Islam as the main religion of the film helped them showing the good sides of this religion such as love, family devotion and loyalty.  Added 22/08/20 : Islam has a lot of branches like any other religion. In Senegal most muslim practice Soufism, find differences between the way you practice and theirs mights come from that. Especially regarding the hijab, it’s common for young people to wear their hijabs only during ceremonies.

III. Streaming plateform and international public : 

If you’ve read all this, you know now that it isn’t about girls twerking or pedo porn normalization, in fact, until Amy came into the group, the girls are doing basic hip-hop dance (well, at least they try...). So how a movie mostly acclaimed by those who saw it can be the center of such a scandal ? 

Well, first let’s talk about culture appropriation.  As a 25yo white european woman I’ve had my share of culture appropriation story, did I mean anything bad when I did it ? No. Was I ignorant ? Yes. As everybody with a little bit of dignity I reflected on myself and stopped whatever the f*ck I was doing that was innapropriate as a white woman. That said, we can’t denied that the world has absorded some part of the black africans culture when it got popularized.

Twerking is actually a mixed between dances from African diasporas (especially Mapouka and Soukous from Ivory Coast and Congo), it is known nowadays a sensual hiphop dance and there is nothing wrong with doing it when you’re a grown up in your right mind doing whatever you want to do. So why using this dance in the movie ? First, it’s part of the heritage of Amy, a 11yo girl who hasn’t lived in a occidental culture before. Second, it is a way of telling you, public, that what you do has consequences. Suggestive dances on TV, sexualized hiphop dances in the streets, rated r music video available on YT... Adult contents are available anywhere, anywhen by anywho. Children included. It is what the director, who study the subject of the impact of oversexualized content on young girls, is trying to tell you through the film. 

Now, Netflix and the art of communication. Netflix has first released a trailer, a poster and a pitch that aren’t the one used to promote the film in the first place (France included). After the start of the backlash they released another set that are stil not the one used to begin with. Why ? Because Netflix is an industry, they aren’t cinema professionnals, they aren’t critics, they are a company like any others. They didn’t watch the film, didn’t understand it and didn’t advertize it as it should : A movie for adults who want to know what they could do to help the younger generations. 

Because a movie isn’t just for entertainment, there is no film just made to amuse you, everyone is trying to tell something thanks to their art. Yes, those same young girls who acted in the movie won’t be able to watch it because they are too young, not because it is inapropriate but because the subject is too thick for them to understand it fully at such a young age. The way Netflix handle the promotion of this movie was also bad because international public can’t resonnate with it the way we do. And I include myself because I was the age of Amy not long ago, in the same country she came to. Cinemas from every country is proper to this country, we have the chance to be able to watch films from other places made by people whom don’t speak our language, have their own religion or not at all and try to reach us with their own issues and traditions. 

I’m not saying this movie will be the best of this year, and I’m not saying that everything inside of it is perfect, what I’m trying to say is that it’s easier to agree with the majority than to forge your own opinion but if you take the time to watch you’ll be able to understand others and empathize with them. 

I hope it will help some of you understand the purpose of the film, that some will be kind enough to watch it before throwing their critics and that most of you will still enjoy movies for watch the director is trying to say instead of what the politics want you to see. 

[ibijau]

Oh, I love your Worst Engagement AU. I can't wait for Xichen saving Huaisang from water ghouls in Caiyi Town from the perspective of your AU! Hihihihihi~~~~

ok so, I have like half a second of hesitation because that amazing, beautiful, ultimate Xisang scene is only in the donghua, and I wanted to keep this in novel canon. But you know what? You know what? I love that scene and fuck canon.

ok, warning for... mild infidelity, on a technical sense? I mean, it’s not like they’re really emotionally together. Definitely as far as nhs is concerned. And warning for some quick discussion of the possiblity of underage characters having sex, I guess.

Caiyi town isn't exactly the most fun place in the world, but being anywhere outside of the Cloud Recesses feels like a blessing, so Nie Huaisang doesn't complain. It's a little bothersome being forced to carry his sabre around, but that too is a small price to pay for a reprieve from rules.

They are, technically, under Lan Xichen's supervision, and they are in Caiyi town to hunt down... monsters of some kind. Nie Huaisang honestly didn't pay much attention, and even if he had, he knows it wouldn't help him much. What he does know is that Lan Xichen has briefly abandoned them to go secure some boats for their Night Hunt, which means for at least the next half hour, Nie Huaisang is free.

Mostly, he's free to hang out with Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian and complain that there's not much to do, but it's still freedom. Besides, if his plan works well, he'll create his own entertainment later.

“Why did you even agree to come?” Jiang Cheng grumbles when he gets tired of Nie Huaisang whining about the lack of interesting shops.

Nie Huaisang shrugs, but his eyes go down the street, toward the Lans boys who came along and are trailing a little behind them. One in particular happens to be looking at him, although he turns away as soon as their eyes meet, his cheeks colouring.

“No particular reason,” Nie Huaisang says, as if he isn't determined that he'll have given away his first kiss by the time this stupid Night Hunt is over. “I just thought it'd be fun to see how it feels with nicer company.”

“Night Hunts are not a game,” Jiang Cheng points out.

“But they can be fun,” Wei Wuxian quickly adds, grinning. “Maybe you'll start liking them, and we can Night Hunt together again after we're done with classes here. Do you think your brother would let you come to Yunmeng sometimes?”

“Not unless I improve my cultivation a lot,” Nie Huaisang sighs, glancing behind again.

That same Lan boy meets his eyes with more intent this time, before saying something to his companions and drifting from their group. He goes into a small alley, and Nie Huaisang struggles not to grin. He wasn't sure the other one would actually dare to follow along his very shameless plan.

“You know, I've changed my mind about that candy shop we saw earlier,” Nie Huaisang suddenly announces. “I'll go grab some. If Lan gongzi is back before me, tell him I'll be right there, okay? I'll try not to take too long.”

“Oh, grab some for me too,” Wei Wuxian asks, throwing him some money. “We'll be around. Jiang Cheng, do you think we can fine a wine seller somewhere? We'll need something to celebrate our victory with!”

The two brothers start bickering about whether it is appropriate or not to already think of the aftermath of a Night Hunt when it could bring bad luck. Nie Huaisang quickly escapes, and makes his way to that alley.

He does buy some candies in the end, because it'd be odd if he didn't. They're far too sweet for his preferences, but it matters a little less when he gets to taste them on someone else's lips and tongue. 

Nie Huaisang, as it turns out, loves kissing. He suspected he would, or he wouldn't have bothered trying, but it really is a nice sensation, even with a clumsy boy whose name he still hasn't bothered to learn.

It's a shame that he won't get much of that once he's married, he thinks after that Lan boy has left the alley first so they won't be seen together. There's little chance that Lan Xichen would want to kiss him, so he'll have to get his fill before their marriage.

He might also try sex, he decides as he, too, finally leaves the alley. He doesn't think there's any real law against him tumbling into bed with someone else before he becomes tied for life to Lan Xichen, so it should be fine, if he can just convince someone to give him a chance. It can't be a girl, there's too much risk of a scandal. It can't be a Lan, that'd create too many problems down the line. Wei Wuxian could be a tolerable option perhaps, but he only looks at girls (and on occasions at Lan Wangji) so that's not going to work. Jiang Cheng is very attractive, but he's both too stuck up and too aware of inter-sect politics to touch the future husband of a future sect leader. Someone else then, someone pretty and self-important enough that he wouldn't care about upsetting Lan Xichen. Someone like...

Just as he is thinking about him, Nie Huaisang hears the voice of Jin Zixuan coming from the canal, followed by that of Wei Wuxian.

It is a gift, a talent that Wei Wuxian had, and it never ceases to amaze Nie Huaisang how his friend, somehow, always ends up bumping into the people who most dislike him. Lan Wangji, Jin Zixuan... Wei Wuxian seems to have a sixth sense to spot them, and for someone so smart, he's really stupid when it comes to realising he could just avoid them.

With a sigh, Nie Huaisang hurries in the direction of their voices. When he realises that these two are alone, without at least Jiang Cheng to keep them in check, he jumps on a small boat and hurries to take it between theirs. Someone has to avoid a diplomatic incident, and it's not going to be these two idiots and their overblown egos.

His peacekeeping efforts are mildly starting to work, or so Nie Huaisang tells himself. It soon stops to matter when a bunch of water bloated corpses spring from the canals and start attacking them.

It all goes very fast. One moment Nie Huaisang was trying to get Jin Zixuan to just calm down for five seconds, the next there's a huge, ugly, stinky creature trying to climb onto his boat. The weight of that thing is such that the other side of the boat starts rising from the water, forcing Nie Huaisang to cling to the sides so he doesn't fall into the monster's grasp.

“Help!” he cries out. “I'm going to fall, somebody help!”

But Wei Wuxian is off saving civilians, and Jin Zixuan is under attack by several water ghouls, so neither can intervene. Nie Huaisang closes his eyes and grasps the wood tighter, wondering if he might manage to unsheathe his sabre without falling, if he can let himself fall and try to strike at the ghoul on his way down. If he were any good as a cultivator, it'd be as easy as breathing, but he's never done anything like this, never had to hit anything scarier than a practice dummy, and that ghoul is big and...

While Nie Huaisang holds on to the boat and panics over what to do, someone joins him on the boat, so light on their feet that the movement barely registers, and with one smooth slash of their sword, they dispatch the ghoul. Immediately the boat falls back on the water with a splash, but Nie Huaisang doesn't even mind that he gets sprayed.

“Thank you!” he exclaims with a grateful smile that turns into a grimace when he wipes the water from his eyes and realises who saved him. “Lan gongzi?”

Of course it'd have to be him. Lan Xichen smiles down at him as if expecting to be praised for the rescue, not a single hair out of place, not a stain on his white robes. Nie Huaisang looks away, refusing to give him that pleasure. It doesn't matter in the end because Lan Xichen quickly leaves him alone to help the others deal with the rest of the creatures while Nie Huaisang sits on his boat, utterly useless.

When the fight is over, they all regroup on the bank of the canal to decide what to do. Nie Huaisang expects Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian to be excited that they got to fight and show off already, but instead he finds them oddly serious. They seem like entirely different people all of a sudden, like real cultivators instead of the two goofy kids he's grown used to play with. It's an unpleasant reminder that with them too, there's a divide he can't ever expect to cross. Nie Huaisang is surrounded by amazing people, while he struggles with flying on his sabre for even an incense's stick duration.

He tries to remind himself that he has qualities too, that he doesn't need to play by their rules, that his friends like him even without any cultivation capacity to speak of. It brings him little comfort, especially when he hears Lan Xichen starts to explain how they will proceed from then on, and he realises that he doesn't know how to do most of the things his fiancé is speaking about.

As if guessing his thoughts, Lan Xichen suddenly turns towards him with a look of doubtful appraisal on his face.

“Huaisang, since you're not up to fight after all, just wait for us here,” he advises.

A second ago, Nie Huaisang was ready to beg to be left behind. Now that Lan Xichen is the one demanding it, he feels for the first time in his life an intense desire to really take part in a Night Hunt.

“Lan-gege has so little trust in me,” he complains with a pout. “How am I ever going to improve if I never get to try? I want to try. I'm sure my brother also would want me to, Lan-gege,” he insists, putting as much emphasis as he dares on the nickname and... yes, just as he hoped, it appears to annoy Lan Xichen.

It annoys him so much that a touch of red appears on his cheeks. Just to have gotten a reaction out of his bothersome fiancé, Nie Huaisang is ready to put up with whatever it is people even do on Night Hunts. Between the kissing and making Lan Xichen flush in anger, this is quite possibly the best day of his life.

“This situation appears more serious than I realised when I invited you along,” Lan Xichen replies. “Of course I trust Nie gongzi to do better than what others might expect, but I do not think this is appropriate for a first Night Hunt.”

It's Nie Huaisang's turn to blush in embarrassment, and he glares at Lan Xichen for saying so casually, in front of so many others, that he's never been on a Night Hunt before. It's not exactly untrue, he's never done more than the sort of very easy stuff any child will do, and it all stopped around the time of the engagement because he was so bad and had become too much of an asset to be put at risk.

Just because it's true doesn't mean it needs to be shared.

“Then I will do as Lan-gege orders, of course,” Nie Huaisang says with a short bow. “Lan-gege always knows best, doesn't he?”

“Go wait for us at the inn,” Lan Xichen orders, apparently pleased with how easily his fiancé complies. “Hopefully we'll be back before sunset. Try to have fun if you can, but don't get in trouble.”

Nie Huaisang bites the inside of his cheeks and smiles as sweetly as he can, because there's people around and he knows better than to publicly humiliate his fiancé. But he'll get revenge for this someday, and for everything else as well.

And what better revenge can there be than to make that annoyingly pure and perfect Lan boy marry someone who has already tried dual cultivation?

Besides, it's not like Lan Xichen is ever going to touch him anyway, so he'll have to get his fun where he can get it, while he can get it.

[da-tasuky]

I know you better than that

All right! We are up to date here! I'll add everyone that's been on the taglist again from chapter 4 onwards to not drown them.

[Beginning]-[Previous]-[Next]

Chapter 3: In the same land

Marinette smiled at the answer Bruce sent her, also confirming that Uncle Alfred will pick her up at late afternoon.

She casually adjusted her position in front of the reception desk while her classmates chattered between them and Miss Bustier waited for the receptionist to confirm their reservations. She felt a tug at her hip and she sneakily glanced down. Kaalki winked at her before diving into her purse and a second after a red blur followed her piercing through the desk. Marinette smirked in satisfaction.

“I’m very sorry, Miss Bustier.” The receptionist said with a nervous undertone. “There must have been a mistake in the reservation, we have reserved for you seven double rooms and one single room. I can offer you one extra single room.”

“But I can’t leave one student alone!” Miss Bustier exclaimed. “Are you certain there are no triple rooms available?”

“Miss, I am very sorry, there aren’t any more rooms available.” Marinette heard Tikki giggling in her purse and she tried to smother her smirk.

“What about double rooms? I could share it with the student.”

The receptionist looked at her apologetically. “It’s all we have, miss, I am truly sorry. The hotel guidelines state that in case of misunderstandings like these, we are obligated to accommodate you as best as we can maintaining the price that has been charged to you unless the new accommodation price is lower, in which case we will perform a refund. On this occasion, you are actually acquiring an extra room, which raises the price. But you won’t have to worry about it due to the hotel guidelines. It’s the best I can offer you.”

Miss Bustier released a heavy and defeated sigh. Marinette walked the two steps that separated herself from her teacher decisively. “Miss Bustier, I can offer myself for the single room if you don’t mind.”

She looked at her in surprise. “Oh! Marinette! I couldn’t ask you for that! Didn’t you want to room with Alya?”

“It’s no problem! After all, there is an even number of boys in the class and an odd number of girls! Mylene gets easily scared and she feels safe with Alix, Chloe was adamant about rooming with Sabrina, Lila said she was happy we were rooming in pairs and a trio since she needed help with her arthrosis-uh-arthritis? Whatever! But I wouldn’t want to separate Rose and Juleka, and since Alya already asked me if we could room with Lila before Rose invited her with them, I think it’s safe to assume Alya would still like to room with Lila!” She smiled up at the teacher.

“I see, thank you for offering, Marinette!” Bustier hugged the girl. “Let’s talk to the class.” She turned around and called their attention clapping her hands. “Everyone, we had a mishap with the rooming. We won’t have the triple room for the girls. Instead, we have a double and a single room.”

Rose, Juleka and Lila looked at each other, troubled. “But miss Bustier! I can’t be alone in a room with my illness.” Lila exclaimed pitifully, clearly willing her eyes to tear.

“You don’t have to worry, Lila! Luckily, our class president offered herself for the single room taking into consideration your special needs!” Miss Bustier beamed. “Alya, would you mind rooming with Lila for the trip? I’m sorry for taking your roommate away from you, but Lila needs help from a classmate.”

Alya smiled up at her teacher. “Of course, Miss Bustier, leave her to me!” She declared like a hero on duty before sharing a smile with Lila.

“Oh, thank you so much, Alya! You are the best!” Lila hung to Alya’s shoulder in a tight hug.

“No problem, Roomie! We are gonna have so much fun!” She returned the embrace and while all eyes were focused in the pair, Marinette shared a discreet fist bump with the Kwamis hiding inside her purse. After the girls separated, Alya walked up to Marinette and gave her a light shove with her hip before resting her arm over her shoulders. “That’s my girl! Saving the trip! Are you ok rooming alone, though?”

“Of course I’m fine!” Marinette beamed at her, hiding the fact that she planned this. “I’m the one who offered.”

“Ok, call me if anything. Especially if you need help waking up. I’ll go to your room and bang the door until you open if necessary!” Alya kissed Marinette’s forehead making her giggle.

“Thanks, Als. I miiiight need you during the mornings. Text me! If I don’t answer come and get me?”

“Sure thing!” Alya winked.

Miss Bustier called everyone’s attention to give their information to the receptionist and receive their room cards. When Alya separated from her, Marinette felt a tap on her shoulder, upon turning, she was almost blinded by the smile Adrien gave her.

“I thought you wouldn’t play in Lila’s games?” He asked in a mix of confusion and amusement.

Marinette huffed. ‘Of course, he will have questions’ she bit her lip thinking how to mislead him. “Well, I wouldn’t want to bother Alya rooming with me, I mean! I’ll be with a Gotham! I meant a friend! A boy! From Gotham!”

“Youuu…” He narrowed his eyes at her. “Want to sneak a boy into your room?” His expression grew scandalized and Marinette realized how her lame excuse sounded.

“N-No! No! NOT THAT! I meant- uh- I’ll BE BORING! I’ll be out often! With my friend! And I will leave her alone and I-I could be a pretty boring roommate?” She exclaimed blushing furiously. “Ohmygod.” She covered her face in shame.

“O-oh! Um.” Marinette looked at him from between her fingers to find him blushing and averting his eyes awkwardly. “Sorry for misunderstanding!” He choked.

Marinette wanted to die.

Why would she sneak Damian into her room? No, scratch that! She will certainly sneak him into her room now that she got the single room but not for- not whatever Adrien was thinking!

Marinette swallowed a scream.

“Oh, Marinette!” A silky sweet voice drawled. Marinette uncovered her face in time to see Lila reaching to her. Marinette stiffened while the girl gave her a firm hug over her shoulders, putting a slight pressure with her fingernails above her shoulders. “Thank you so much for the room change!” She said loudly, before switching to a rapid whisper. “You might look nice now but you are only making things worse for yourself. Enjoy your room alone while I drag Alya away from you.” She released her with a smirk and a smug tint on her eyes.

Marinette’s expression darkened slightly while Lila whispered but she quickly turned smug too. “We’ll see, Lila, we’ll see.” She whispered back.

Adrien cleared his throat, breaking the silent challenge between the girls. Lila promptly walked away, leaving them behind. “Sooo… should you be careful?”

Her face darkened again. “We should be careful. Remember you are her target too, Adrien.” She caught Alya’s eyes while she retreated with Lila. Marinette immediately tried to school her expression but Alya has caught on her dark and unfriendly glare towards Lila. At seeing her lifting a questioning eyebrow, Marinette had no way to answer more than pout at her friend. After all, from Alya’s perspective, her animosity must look extremely bad after Lila came to thank her. She sighed in defeat. “That Vulture really knows how to make me look bad.” She crossed her arms.

Adrien grimaced, having caught the silent conversation between the girls. “I-I know I haven’t been much help but… If you need anything, I'm just a call away, ok Marinette?”

That lifted Marinette’s mood considerably. “Thank you, Adrien.” She said with a grateful smile and proceeded to walk up to the receptionist now that everyone else has gotten their room cards.

“Marinette,” Miss Bustier looked back at her, conflicted. “I’m really sorry for this situation, the single room that the hotel can offer us is on the top floor while the rest of the rooms are spread across the third, fourth and fifth floor. The other single room is on the fourth, I asked for that one to be near everyone in case of emergency. I would leave that one to you, but I worry about leaving all of you to yourselves.” She brushed her hair nervously.

Marinette’s eyes lit up. “Miss Bustier, please don’t worry! The safety of the majority is important for me too! Besides, a room on the top floor could give me an inspiring view of Gotham for my drawings!”

“But you’ll be so far and alone.” Miss Bustier said feeling clearly conflicted while fidgeting with her fingers.

“If I may,” The receptionist intervened. “I would suggest the young miss take the top room. It’s a very nice room. I feel like her selfless actions deserve a bit of a reward. We don’t often see kindness freely in this city and I’m sure she’ll enjoy it even if alone.” She smiled kindly to Marinette. “Besides, she can always invite her classmates over to hang out, right?”

Marinette felt a mixture between the thrill of a mission going her way and guilt.

She got the room by cheating and purely for selfish reasons. Well, maybe not really selfish. She needed it in order to get away from prying eyes and fulfill her duty as Ladybug. The kwamis did a great job getting the top floor and it will 100% work at her favor. She really needed to get it at all costs even if she was causing her teacher and the receptionists all these problems. She hated it, but she needed it. So she did the best she could to convince Miss Bustier.

Marinette looked up at her with big puppy dog eyes.

And it worked.

With a defeated sigh, Miss Bustier craved in and handed her the room card while Marinette whooped.

She quickly grabbed her suitcase and power walked up to the elevator while screaming her thanks and promising everything would be alright.

When Marinette entered her room, she immediately felt as if Chloe just slapped her across the face with a stack of dollar bills.

“Holy Kaalki!” Marinette chocked.

It wasn’t just a room.

Not even a very nice room.

It was a penthouse.

She gaped at the luxury in front of her. It was wide, the style was exquisite with a color scheme between white, charcoal and a hint of burgundy. There was a huge TV in front of a very soft looking sofa and chaise, a lot of fancy decor along with something that looked kind of like a very sophisticated and unusual looking fireplace. There was a kitchen to the side that seemed more like a bar with a very expensive looking assortment of wines in a glass shelf. She made a mental note to never touch that. To the other side, she could see the bedroom and the bathroom. For as huge as everything was, the bed was clearly meant to be for a single person, even if she was sure she could fit two pillows there instead of the single one that was in the middle of it. It gave the bed a high-class feeling but it was technically misused space. And the bath looked like it had a jacuzzi.

She gulped, looking up to the long windows that gave her an astonishing view of Gotham. Beyond the windows, she could see the balcony. It didn’t actually have much since Gotham seemed to be a fairly rainy and cold place, nothing would be too enjoyable outside, but it still had some furniture and elegance.

After coming out of her stupor, Marinette decisively walked up to the room and left her suitcase beside the bed. The Kwamis came floating around her. “As I asked, please. Be thorough.”

Kaalki dove around the penthouse immediately, checking inside the furniture while Tikki hesitated for a moment before following suit. Marinette inspected the more visible parts, touching anything that could look slightly off, but found nothing suspicious or out of place. After the silent scouting, they all converged again in front of the bed. The kwamis shook their heads and Marinette sighed in relief while a smile stretched on her face. “We are clean!”

“I still don’t understand why you made us search for hidden cameras or mics, Marinette. Who are you afraid of?” Tikki inquired a mix between wary and curious.

“My classmates and Miss Bustier are not the only ones I’m trying to fool here in Gotham, Tikki.” Marinette answered with a kind of secretive smile at which Tikki just frowned in confusion.

“Are you talking about your friend Damian? He might be a good horse! He clearly comes from a rich family.” Kaalki mused.

Marinette laughed. “No, I know he is incredibly paranoid and he actually could do it! Maybe! But I am actually thinking about…” she walked up to the tall window and looked out at Gotham spreading in front of her. “Batman.”

The kwamis exchanged a look. “The most powerful Vigilante of this city? Why would you think he would bug your room?”

“I don’t know how much he knows. He is known to be the greatest detective in the entire world, and I’m sure there are others following closely in his footsteps. I’m not saying he suspects me being Ladybug, but I can never be sure and never too cautious.” She walked back to her suitcase and started taking some of her things out along with what she was going to dress for the day. “If he is onto me, we might have just dodged a bugged room. In any case, I intend to keep kwamis a secret from him. If he knows about Ladybug, then he knows about the Miraculous. But I could manage to keep your existence a secret.”

“We’ll be careful not to be seen!” Tikki twirled around her chosen while Kaalki hummed in confirmation.

“Thank you, girls.” Marinette walked up to the bathroom to take a quick shower. “We’ll take a minute in front of the reception desk for you two to rearrange the room adjustment we did earlier!”

The kwamis giggled. “Now I see why Trixx envied us. This is actually kind of fun!”

“We should tell them. Plagg would be proud if he knew too! Who would have thought you could be up to mischief, Kwami of Creation?” Kaalki shot at Tikki with laughter in her voice.

“It was for a good cause!” She defended. “And I didn’t plan it, Marinette did! Besides, you are the one who left only the best room available.”

“If I’m choosing, I’m picking class! With the most gorgeous view-”

Marinette started the shower, successfully cutting out the conversation from the room with a fond shake of her head.

After the refreshing bath and changing into one of the many outfits she decided along with Chloe, Marinette went down to reception and purposedly tripped, making some tour pamphlets to scatter over. The receptionist quickly went to help her stand up and collect the pamphlets while the kwamis sneaked around and righted the room reservations while the receptionist was distracted with Marinette.

After apologizing repeatedly and making sure that both kwamis were back on her purse, a familiar enraged scream reached from behind her. “I absolutely REGRET flying in economy class!” Turning around, she saw Chloe raging and walking up to Marinette, her hands in tight fists at the sides of her hip. She followed by mocking a high pitched note to quote “‘You’ll get to relate to how normal people fly’, Ugh! Why do I keep listening to you!? I shouldn’t mingle this much with you peasants!”

Marinette tried to stifle a laugh unsuccessfully. “I’m sorry Chloe, maybe I went too far.”

“You bet! You are ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous!”

“But it wasn’t that bad, right? We had fun!” Marinette beamed at her, hoping to get to her soft side, after all, they did have fun, along with Adrien and Nino who were sitting just behind them.

Chloe pouted and averted her eyes. “I’m still changing my flight back to business class.” She crossed her arms. “I experienced it already. I don’t need any more suffering to know you all live in shambles”

“Oh dear, what are we going to do about that?”

She side-eyed Marinette for a few considering seconds. Marinette did her best effort to look sad and concerned, hugging herself and casting her puppy eyes. Chloe pouted before lifting her nose and striking a haughty pose. “Why? Of course, I’m thinking about hosting another charity event for the needed when we are back, DC. Who do you think I am?” She flipped her hair. “After all, with or without a Miraculous, I am still Queen Bee and Paris needs and admires me!” She started walking to where Sabrina was on the Lobby. “Get ready, Maribear! You owe me a shopping spree and I intend to reclaim it now!”

Marinette giggled while rolling her eyes.

She felt conflicted about all this if she was being honest. Marinette knew she was sort of taking advantage of Chloe’s wealth but in all honesty, she couldn’t find it in herself to regret it. All these charity events helped Chloe switch her focus to something healthy. Instead of just taking and taking from her parents, Marinette was doing her best to focus Chloe into raising the funds rather than just taking it from them. But she was doing this transition slowly, for now, Chloe was still on a stage where she is developing a feeling of fulfillment and duty towards Paris. She was slowly becoming compassionate and a beautiful person. Marinette didn’t call her Queen just to boost her ego and thus encourage her to continue, but because she could really picture her friend as a true Queen of Paris, trusted and beloved by so many. It was a pity her reputation was so stained that it was hard for others to see the true diamond Chloe was becoming. But Marinette was not one to quit and if she has seen others bloom and grow beautifully, why should she give up on her?

While Marinette opened her purse to fetch her phone, Tikki and Kaalkhi smiled up at her. She could see the proud shine in Tikki’s eye and they shared a happy smile. She took her phone out to finally make the call she has been waiting to do since arriving at the hotel.

“You are lucky I like you.” Her demon’s voice greeted her and she smiled broadly containing a snort.

“The title of the video was too obvious, you wouldn’t have opened it.”

“Tt.” She giggled at him. “Are you well-rested? You’ll need some energy and patience if you are coming to dinner and spend any amount of time with my brothers.”

“Yep! I followed your advice and slept during the flight! I’ll be fine.” She caught Alya’s tired eyes at the other side of the room. Alya pointed one finger up and then made a sleeping gesture pressing her hands together and inclining her face over them. Ah, Alya was going to sleep, and for the look of it, a big group of the rest of the girls was discussing doing the same. Marinette nodded and sent her a flying goodnight kiss. “I have to accompany Chloe to go shopping since she graciously handed me my eye mask during the flight.” She rolled her eyes. “Her selfless actions must be recognized and rewarded, right?”

“Seriously?” Damian’s deadpan voice reached again.

“Baby steps, Dove. Baby steps.” She nodded solemnly. “Who are you to talk anyway?” She waved at some of the girls who were making their way back to their rooms.

“Tt. My family has a reputation for being altruistic.”

“I don’t know, Bird Heir. You should show me around and convince me.” She dramatically put a hand over her forehead even if he couldn’t see her. “Uh, what is it? Is it doubt? Which of my friends is the real altruistic? Damian or… or maybe Chloe?” She teased.

“You know it’s me.” He growled.

“Mh, did I tell you Chloe was our biggest sponsor during our last charity event? The one where we helped kids manage their fear of akumas? If I remember correctly, she even accepted gifts from the kids like a well-loved diva! A Queen Bee, a true hero.” She teased, dragging the last word.

He kept silent while she held her breath waiting for his answer with anticipation. “I’ll show you what a true hero I can be.”

‘It’s on!’ Marinette cheered mentally and smirked.

“Good! I’ll wait for it! Now, if I’m not mistaken, I have a whole first day in Gotham and a shopping spree waiting for me. Talk to you late- I MEAN! SEE YOU LATER!” She squeaked when the realization hit again. “See you later.” She breathed, feeling nervousness pooling at the end of her stomach.

“See you later,” She heard him breathing into the phone too. “Angel.”

Her cheeks flared crimson at his last word and the call ended.

Marinette closed her eyes forcefully, reigning in the warm turns and twirls inside her body while clutching the phone to her chest. That telltale feeling she used to have for another boy coming back with vengeance for someone else just by hearing Damian breathless anticipation to meet her directly into her ear.

It felt nice.

Really, really nice.

He said literally four words, not even the most meaningful words. But it was his tone. The situation, her feet literally in Gotham ground. And for a second, he felt so, so close. Like he was actually there talking next to her ear. Saying normal words that anyone wouldn’t even bat an eye at but for her held so much power at that very moment.

He made her feel wanted.

She couldn’t believe how strongly these butterflies were hitting her. During all these years being his friend, she has never felt them raging this strong before. Maybe a bit fluttery that didn’t last long every now and then when he did something meaningful or when his tone and expression was softer than usual. Or when he displayed scarce shows of affections in his own way.

But not like this. NEVER like this. Maybe Alya was right and she really feels that way towards him. Scratch that. If this feeling is anything to go by, Marinette could be sure that yes, she does see him in a romantic light.

A whisper traveled through her body ‘I like him.’ and she wasn’t sure whether her brain or her heart was responsible for this but whoever started it, the other agreed and finished the thought/feeling.

Marinette was sure this was somehow building up over time but now it suddenly was released like a shockwave.

She really did like him like that, after all.

It’s not like she didn’t notice her feelings before, she was a passionate person, after all. But she put it on a lesser level right away. Maybe she has been ignoring it due to her old crush, maybe it was the distance, maybe it was the ‘old friend’ novelty or the ‘best friend’ title that clouded her mind and silenced her heart for so long. Or maybe it was because she knew Damian isn’t initially a likable person and he was hard to love. But she could see how strong the bonds could become once anyone overcame that barrier with him. He could give up his life for his family and them for him. The same held true for his friends, she could see how underneath the fights and the prodding, he trusted and cherished Jon. And she also felt, even with all her insecurities, that the same is extended for her.

She was so foolish.

Why did she wait this long to finally face her own feelings and acknowledge them for what they were? Still, she intended to follow Alya’s suggestion and spend time with him and confirm if what she is feeling now stands. Marinette was almost sure that would be the case since she was just slapped by months worth of pinning after a single deliciously breathed line.

It was ridiculous, totally, completely and utterly ridiculous.

And now she was sounding exactly like Chloe.

With a huff, she made sure that her annoyance had completely washed away the butterflies and returned to reality glaring forward, like challenging her emotional self to try and act again, only to be met by Chloe Bourgeois herself boring her eyes upon Marinette with Sabrina trying to smother her giggles behind the blonde.

“You done there?” Chloe asked evenly.

“Y-yes?”

“Good, follow me.” She turned around and walked straight to the door. Marinette followed.

The second the fact that Chloe waited quietly during her emotional warfare and didn’t interrupt her downed on Marinette, she felt a rush of affection and gratitude toward her friend.

She wasn’t even asking, completely respecting her privacy and feelings.

Sabrina, on the other hand, seemed to be curious but she was apparently silenced by Chloe.

Marinette got the idea that if she wanted to tell them, they would listen but wouldn’t force her to say anything. If Chloe was good at anything, it was at keeping her deepest feelings closed to herself. She could relate to others wanting to do the same.

Chloe never asked others about their feelings, some could take it as disinterest, but now Marinette knew it was her way of caring.

Well, that was something she also learned from Damian.

She shook her head, trying to cast the bird away from her mind and focus on the present.

At some point, they had entered a store and Chloe was animatedly listing the good qualities of the pieces of clothing she was pilling over Sabrina’s arms. That perked her interest instantly, snatching some of them and gushing over them too.

Soon the three of them were happily trying on the clothes, commenting every detail and effectively distracting Marinette from her earlier heavy emotional wave.

Shopping with Chloe wasn’t as bad as she originally thought, they had similar tastes in quality and fashion after all. Besides, everything was new and exciting for the three of them.

They even managed to buy gifts for their parents besides some clothes and accessories for themselves.

Chloe was still annoying, but Marinette has managed to bring her down that high horse a bit. She had managed to apply some techniques she learned dealing with Damian and frankly, they were working nicely. It helped Chloe become more emphatic and collaborative in her search to be a worthy hero.

She could handle Chloe. She could handle Damian.

She was Marinette

She was Ladybug

She could handle anything!

Except for this dinner. She couldn’t handle this dinner and it was bound to be a disaster!

She was so not ready for this dinner but since she knows herself, she had planned this so she wouldn’t have time to second guess everything and just be shoved into it with no time to think.

She only left a few minutes to be able to shove her shopping bags into her room and she was again out of the hotel in time to be picked up to go to the Manor.

It was a mistake, a total mistake.

What if just now she has a wardrobe malfunction and she didn’t have time to go to her room and fix it?

What if they didn’t like her after all?

What if she embarrasses uncle Alfred and he never wants to invite her again?

What if Damian thought she was too different in real life and don’t want anything anymore with her?

What if he-

“Marinette, calm down!” Tikki’s voice reached her from her purse. Apparently, she has been ranting out loud without realizing it. “You have your emergency sewing kit here and there is nothing to worry about! Damian already told you that you are way past first impressions and they all really love you already! Alfred will be so happy to see you too!”

“But-!”

“It’s going to be alright, I swear! I can tell they adore you and will only like you more once they met you for real!” Tikki cheered sweetly and Marinette finally felt her confidence slowly returning.

“You are right, Tikki.” She sighed. “I’ve known them for years, I shouldn’t get so worked up.” She squared her shoulders. Letting her determination take the lead, she took her phone out and looked at the time.

This was it. It was time.

A black car parked in front of her. She felt her determination slipping away just a bit.

And the door opened.

🕊️

[Beginning]-[Previous]-[Next]

If anyone else wants to be added to the taglist, just let me know! We’ll go back to tagging starting the next chapter!

[ohpretty-baby]

bts as my sophomore class teachers

a thread because i miss my teachers lowkey

anyways enjoy <3

first hour: ap seminar with kim namjoon

super philosophical 

is a fanboy for rosseau, calls him the original gangster

intimidatingly intelligent; like reads 3 books in one day and writes two papers on them intelligent

constantly connecting foundational thinkers/texts to real life situations (ex: echo and narcissus and selfies in social media)

makes you feel like a bad person by questioning your moral motives

there’s never a dull day in his class

seriously

one time we spent the hour evaluating billie eilish’s bad boy and that one “sweet but psycho” song and talked about double consciousness

the next day we did a full 180 and talked about mass burials

then we talked about the refugee crisis the day after that

extremely thought provoking conversations

gives you independence, which is a double edged sword because everyone in ap sem procrastinates

wants students to exceed not only in his class but also outside of school

my irl ap sem teacher helped me figure out that i wanted to go into a career of law !

also an extensive librarian (hence the ability to read 3 books in one day)

if you have the slight interest in something, he has a book for it

i literally have 8 books checked out from my school library because of him

gives you complete and honest ratings of r rated movies and posts them on your schoology board

not afraid to be scandalous

“now everyone say it with me: premarital sex!”

that was something my irl teacher said, that day we shouted out premarital sex about 15 times with the door wide open

amazing music taste

literally

he listens to anything and everything, from french rap to spanish pop and then english folk songs

will dj for your graduation party for free

second hour: honors english with min yoongi

insanely calm, probably just very sleepy

easy going, chill

you really don’t feel pressured in his class

people goof off in class and are generally very annoying, but he doesn’t care

occasionally lectures students if he really needs to 

communicates what we have to do and then lets us do the work

lets us fail if we’re not responsible

but will understand if you can’t turn in a project if life gets in the way

i still have a project i need to turn in oops-

i haven’t received any negative repercussions tho

lets kids eat in his class and lets them go to the vending machine if they have no food

i go to my locker every morning to get food to eat

eats with us

lets you use your phone and watch netflix

will even ask you what show you’re watching and if it’s good

actually a really good teacher if you pay attention in his class

kids just think they can slack off, they end up failing tho so it’s really none of his issues

for some reason he’s a substitute teacher for a lot of classes

when he subs, the classes are extremely fun 

one time i spent my whole sixth hour talking to him about my costar and astrology

goofs off with the kids

that same day he subbed, my friends were making panoramas of each other and he rated all of them

isn’t strict

cares about his students and is very easy to talk to

because of this a lot of students open up to him

isn’t a snitch

would willingly make fun of classic literature with you

third hour: honors chemistry with kim taehyung

Super Sassy

always gets the last word when students mess around with him

“what’s your favorite double replacement reaction?”

“my favorite ones are the ones you guys get right; so none”

as you can guess, students love having conversation with him

probably has a dope ass instagram but damnit he won’t let accept anyone’s follow requests

probably because that’s illegal

constant Bad BItch energy

will openly tell students they are annoying without shame

will also openly tell you that you are dumb

once i thought that we had four principals (one for each grade, don’t question it) and my irl teacher was speechless,, like she couldn’t actually say anything at my stupidity

i would willingly sell my soul for my chemistry teacher

always has labs to do, even if they’re not very helpful at times

lets students retake tests by creating a new test 

but they’re actually harder than the actual test

students skip their own classes to visit him

i always skip my 6th hour to go into the chemistry

constantly has to chase away students

actually very sweet and cares about students, but is never really a push over

again, a constant Bad Bitch

fourth hour: honors spanish with kim seokjin

an even Bigger Bad Bitch

super fun and sassy

fiestas!!!!!!! 

we have fiestas but literally the only Spanish thing we have is chips and salsa and tacos

i’m not kidding

people just bring in cake pops and brownies

will sometimes teach a whole lesson in Spanish just to fuck with us

will also try to hold a conversation with us in Spanish just to fuck with us even more

loves seeing our shocked and confused faces when can’t answer his questions

actually teaches us

gives a lot of busy work but i honestly think that’s the better ways of learning and practicing Spanish, so there’s no complaints

engaging lessons, encourages us to make mistakes so we can be comfortable with the language

veryyyy helpful with pronunciation, makes sure that we know how to pronounce certain words

super trustworthy

once after school i spilled tea with my irl spanish teacher about a messy breakup i had gone thru, it was real fun

we have a theory that one of the senior teachers has a crush on her because he always visits her when he comes to our class

really good teacher but heavily overestimates our ability

especially when it comes to tests

but will admit his wrongs when we don’t do well in class

literally the best friend you wish you had

fifth hour: ap world with jeon jungkook

literally really pretty

really funny and sweet but his class is hard

not because of the extensive work and the fast pace, but because he doesn’t prepare students enough for saqs, dbqs, leqs, etc.

we still love our ap world teacher bc she genuinely cares about us

teaches an ap class but has never taken an ap class in high school

still teaches even tho he’s sick and his own students have asked him to stay at home so he can feel better

really fun discussion activities, like fishbowls

always drinking tea with a cool ass mug that has all the presidents of the united states on it

wears really cute clothes and coordinates colors

but sometimes will just pull up in pajamas

either way he’s Stylin

makes sure that students know that he doesn’t believe in racism and communism

always tells his students to take care when they say goodbye

draws LOTS of smiley faces

sometimes more confused about the content then the students are

but genuinely kind and hard working, even if it takes him 3 months to grade papers

sixth hour: theology with jung hoseok

confusing lectures

will talk about persecution in rome and then switch the topic onto blts (yes, the sandwich) and then talk about male circumcision

really goofy

deaf

talks very loudly because he takes his hearing aid out during lessons

honestly a really confusing teacher

a lot of people don’t like his teaching style, and neither do i, but it’s not a hard class so there’s really nothing to complain about

you really just need to read the slides in his class to pass

gives out homework but never grades it

i never turn in homework,,, 

i get a’s on his test and he just gives good grades for every homework assignment

honestly just really sweet and funny even when he tries not to

talks with his hands way too much

will take selfies with you if you let him

constantly asking for validation from his students

“is my teaching style ok? i know it can be confusing but i really try with making lectures funny so you guys won’t be bored”

can sometimes be annoying but everyone loves him because he just doesn’t make sense

literally the best class to do other homework in

sees students as his friends

once we had a public discussion online about our concerns of the coronavirus instead of actually learning about theology

i said that i was worried that i’d die of the coronavirus before i got a boyfriend

he replied to my comment saying “1. you are killing me ! :) 2. i’m sure that you have a lot of secret admirers, so the boyfriend thing is covered, they just need to figure things out. remember maturity happens at different stages for everyone.”

even though i don’t like his class at times, i know i’m gonna miss how crazy he is

seventh hour: honors geometry with park jimin

Sweetest, Softest, Most Pure of all

gives out candy during tests

but not just any candy

the really good strawberry candies that grandmas always have and never run out of

sometimes the lessons go by too fast but yet too slow at the same time

a Literal Grandpa

doesn’t let kids say “shut up” or “dumb” in his class

claims that he doesn’t even say “shut up” to his own kids

always reminds kids that this is a No Judgement Zone

rewards students who answer challenging questions with little stand-up signs that say “Expert at Work” or “Rockstar” that they can put on their desk

will buy or make little stockings that spell out the initials of the high school

brags about his kohl’s cash

once bought a $50 scooter for only $5 dollars because of his kohl’s cash

stays after school for two hours to reteach lessons to students

takes little strolls around the school building with his friends during lunch

Mental Math Mondays

mondays are when we play mental math card games with the whole class

lets kids make their own card games

will ask if you’re okay if you look sad

will also ask if you’re okay if you look sleepy

asks kids to be patient with him when they have a confusing lesson to teach

wIll thoroughly explain everything to the best of his ability

definitely has never done anything wrong

this made me genuinely miss my teachers even though i hate school with my whole entire heart, soul, and mind! anyways love u guys

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: Pure (14/14)

Summary: Belle wanted to wait until marriage before she had sex for the first time. It was the one thing that still stuck in her mind after leaving her small town upbringing steeped in religious doctrine and abstinence culture. When her wedding night comes, however, the purity ideals of Storybrooke’s sex education are hard to shake off, and making the transition from virgin to sexually active is more difficult than she anticipated. With the help of a patient husband, Belle begins an intimate journey into understanding her body, her desires, and her identity as a woman.

Rated: E

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[One] [Two] [Three] [Four] [Five] [Six] [Seven] [Eight] [Nine] [Ten] [Eleven] [Twelve] [Thirteen] [AO3]

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Pure

Fourteen

After everything that had happened the last time she had been in Storybrooke, and after it had taken her so long to recover from it, Belle thought she could be forgiven for feeling a little trepidation about setting foot there again. She couldn’t miss Rory’s wedding, not when she had spent so long on her gift, but at the same time, she couldn’t help wishing that her friend had decided to elope to Hawai’i instead of getting married in the local church.

She glanced over at Aiden as they passed the ‘Welcome to Storybrooke’ sign, and he gave her an encouraging smile. They’d chosen to stay at the hotel out of town where they’d had their reception and wedding night; even though the memories of that night were still a little sour at times, the alternative was staying at the inn, which Belle knew would be even worse.

“We’ll be ok,” he said. “If anyone starts giving you any grief, we can just leave.”

“I can’t just leave Rory on her wedding day.”

“Belle, if everything goes according to plan, she should be far more concerned with being married and enjoying the party than the fact that two of her guests have gone missing. I may only have met her in person about three times, but out of all Storybrooke’s residents, she definitely seems the least likely to kick up a fuss and the most likely to completely understand why you can’t stand to be in the same room as your father or several nuns.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

They had reached the town proper by this point, and the car slowed to a crawl as Aiden picked his way through the streets that were unfamiliar to him, but that Belle had walked so many times she could find her way through them blindfold.

“Where are we going?”

“Rory’s at the inn with her mum getting ready,” Belle said. “Then the wedding’s at the church. I can find my own way there if you drop me at the diner. It’s nice enough weather to walk.”

The day had dawned cool, but sunny, and it looked like it was going to be the perfect weather for a wedding.

“If you’re sure you’ll be ok on your own.”

Belle nodded. “Yes, I’ll be fine.” Although she was still seeing Dr Hopper every couple of months, the therapy had helped her out enormously and she knew that no matter what happened today, she’d be able to get through it and come out the other side stronger, and with Aiden waiting to kiss all her cares away.

They pulled up outside the diner, closed for the occasion since all the staff would be at the wedding, and Belle leaned over to kiss Aiden before she got out. The kiss ended up taking slightly longer than she’d bargained for; once she’d started she didn’t want to let him go. Eventually he pulled away.

“Go on, off with you. We’ll be late at this rate and that’s bad form in any town, not just this one.”

Belle gave a huff of laughter and got out, slipping round the back of the diner to the inn. There was no one on the reception desk, so she just went straight up to the rooms.

Finding Rory was easy – the entire corridor was a bustle of activity with bridesmaids in various states of dress and dishevelment running around, going in and out of rooms. Belle made her way down to the last door on the corridor, wedged open. Rory was sitting in front of the glass whilst Madame Georgette did her hair, prattling on about curls and waves and hairspray. Perhaps the presence of Rory’s mother in the background fussing over the flowers was enough to stop her launching into her spiel on waxing, or maybe that had already happened.

Rory broke into a huge grin on seeing Belle peer around the door, and she batted Madame Georgette away from her head, getting up and coming over to her.

“Belle! I’m so glad that you could come. I’d have completely understood if you didn’t want to come back after, well, you know.”

“Rory, it’s your wedding, I couldn’t miss it for the world.” She paused. “I’ve got a gift for you. I know that traditionally you give them at the reception, but I wanted to give this one now.” She looked up and down the corridor. “Is there anywhere that we can go in private to talk? I swear it’ll only take a moment.”

“Of course!” Rory left the room, ignoring her mother’s protests and Georgette’s twittering about her hair only being half set, and they ducked into the next room. The bridesmaid occupying it was happy to vacate, and Rory closed the door behind her.

“So, what’s the gift?”

Belle held out the notebook that she’d spent the last few months compiling with Aiden and Dr Hopper’s help. It was wrapped in shiny paper and looked entirely inconspicuous.

“You might not want to open it now whilst your mum’s around, but open it before tonight,” she said. “It’s for you and Philip. I don’t know whether it’ll be useful for you or not, but I know that I would have killed for something like it when I got married.” She sighed. “There’s so much that they don’t tell us and yet expect us to know. I mean, you saw me after Dad’s heart attack. You kind of know what went on. That was just the culmination of a lot of things, and I know that I could have saved so much pain if I’d known then what I know now. When I got your invitation, I knew that I wanted to save you that pain too. So…” She spread her hands with a shrug. “I really hope it helps you.”

“What even is it, Belle? I mean, I can hazard a guess.”

“Just some things that I wish I’d known before my own wedding night. And some, well, I suppose you’d call them tips for a happy and healthy marriage.”

Rory smiled, and Belle knew that she understood.

“Thank you, Belle.”

Belle left her to get ready and began to make her way to the church to reunite with Aiden. Even if nothing came of it, she knew that she’d done the right thing. It would never make up for her own experiences, but if it could someone else, then that was enough.

X

The reception was in full swing and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves, including Aurora and Philip, which was a very good sign. Aiden was off at the bar getting refills for them both, and having his ear talked off by old Mrs Schuhmann into the bargain. Belle was about to go and rescue him before he died of boredom when someone hailed her.

“Mrs Gold. We haven’t seen you in these parts for quite some time.”

Belle turned on hearing the Mother Superior’s voice. This was the moment that she had been dreading. She knew that Mother Superior was going to be at the wedding; she was Rory’s boss after all, and in a place like Storybrooke it really paid to keep the boss sweet by inviting them to important social gatherings like your wedding. She had been going over all kinds of coping strategies for getting through the confrontation, but in the face of the nun’s deceptively kind expression masking nasty, vindictive eyes, they all flew clean out of her head, and she was left with nothing.

“You know, you should visit more often,” Mother Superior continued. “Your father hasn’t been the same since his heart attack, he could really do with some help around the house. One would hate to think that you were actively avoiding your duties as a daughter.”

Something inside Belle snapped; icy cold, logical rage flooded through her veins like an emergency glowstick suddenly giving off an intense beam of light.

“My father made it clear to me when I was last here that he no longer considers me to be his daughter since my marriage,” she said coolly. “I can be a good and dutiful little daughter, or I can be a good and dutiful little wife. Apparently in this town, it’s impossible to be both.”

“How is your husband?” The Mother Superior changed the subject seamlessly, leaving Belle even angrier. She had wanted to say more, but before she could launch into a tirade – even though she wasn’t entirely sure what she’d say if she did – something stopped her. She’d had the last word on the matter, after all, and there was no use in flogging a dead horse. If all she had to do was match wits with the Mother to get her to change the subject when it became too difficult for her to defend her ridiculous position, then all she had to do was keep matching her.

“He’s very well, thank you. He’s right over there by the bar, you can ask him yourself, but I know how scandalous it would be for a virtuous lady of the cloth to be seen talking to a man.”

The Mother Superior scowled, but she didn’t rise to the challenge.

“Still no children on the horizon, I see.”

“Not at all. We’ve very much enjoyed living in sin for this past year. It’s been most thrilling. But then, you wouldn’t know, would you?”

“You are a wicked, wicked woman, Mrs Gold.”

“Interesting. Aiden said that just last night. Of course, my mouth was full at the time so I couldn’t really respond.” Belle grinned. She was actually quite enjoying this.

“You’ll go to hell for this.”

“What, making small talk at a wedding or worshipping my husband on my knees? That’s even in the marriage vows. With my body I thee worship, and all that?” Belle shrugged. “Whatever. At least I’ll be in good company down there.”

“Have you no shame at all?”

“No. Because since our last conversation, Mother Superior, I have come to a profound conclusion. It took me a long time to come to it, because what you said hurt me so badly that I needed professional help to come back from it, but ultimately, I don’t care what you think of me. Your opinion means absolutely nothing to me. You can think me indecent, immoral, a whore. It doesn’t matter. I know I’m not, and Aiden knows I’m not, and we both know that there is nothing wrong or shameful about our sex life. So no, I have no shame. Not for you. Your opinion of me isn’t worth my time or worry. Enjoy your evening.”

She gave a little bow and went over to the bar, clutching her purse with white knuckles to stop her hands from shaking. She didn’t even know where that speech had come from; as liberating as it had been at the time, she couldn’t believe that she had actually said those things. A small part of her was worried about the consequences, before she firmly told herself that she didn’t care. What could Mother Superior do to hurt her now? Her words meant nothing; Belle had already worked too hard to make them mean nothing for them to have an impact now.

“Are you ok?” Aiden asked. “What can I get you to drink? You look like you could use one, no offence.”

Belle nodded eagerly. “Gin. Lots of it, and neat. Maybe just give me the entire bottle.”

Aiden raised an eyebrow and ordered her a gin and tonic. “I don’t want to scrape you off the floor at the end of the night, and I know that you hate neat gin. So, what’s brought on this sudden need for strong spirits?”

“Nothing. Well, nothing bad. I think I’m having an out-of-body experience. I just told off Mother Superior.”

Aiden just stared at her and passed her the gin and tonic when it arrived.

“Good for you,” he said eventually, still looking like he was having a bit of trouble taking in what she’d just said. “I’m sorry, did you say that you’d told off Mother Superior?”

“Yes. I told her that the entire reason my married life started out so fucked over was her fault and that I didn’t care what she thought of me. It was incredibly liberating. I think that Dr Hopper would be proud of me.”

“I’m sure he would be. Forget him, though, I’m proud of you.” He wrapped his arm around her and kissed her full on the mouth, a more daring kiss than Belle would ever have managed in Storybrooke before. She relaxed into it completely, bringing her arms up to curl around his neck. It was a wedding, a celebration of love. Why shouldn’t she kiss her husband? If nothing else, if Rory and Philip were watching, then it would give them an excellent example.

Belle knew that she couldn’t change Storybrooke’s mindset overnight; everything had been too ingrained for too long for that. But, maybe, if she could change at least one person’s mind, then that would make a difference. If she could help Rory get the best start in married life, then she could perhaps save Rory the same heartache she’d been through herself, and she could hope that any kids Rory and Philip had would not suffer in the same way their mother had done.

“Belle!”

Speaking of Rory, though, the bouncing bride was pushing through the other guests towards her, a huge grin on her face. Belle pulled away from Aiden to accept Rory’s hug.

“Oh Belle, thank you. We just snuck a look at your gift under the table. It’s great.” There was a fierce red blush rising in Rory’s cheeks, and Belle politely chose to put it down to the crush of people in the room making the temperature rise by several degrees. “Thank you so much. I’m so sorry that you went through what you did, though.”

“It’s ok. If I can channel that into helping you avoid the same thing, then that’s enough for me. I really hope it will help.”

“I’m sure it will.” Rory finally released Belle and turned to Aiden. “And thank you, too, for all the help that you gave Belle, and that you’re inadvertently giving me. I’m so glad that she found you.” She paused. “I’m so glad that I found Philip, to be honest. I think we were both as nervous as each other about tonight. It’s really taken the pressure off a bit.”

Belle smiled. “Just enjoy the learning curve, and don’t pay the blindest bit of attention to what Mother Superior might say about it.”

“I’ll take that under advisement.”

They exchanged another hug, and then Rory went off to find her husband. Belle took a long sip of her gin and tonic and leaned into Aiden’s side with a satisfied sigh.

“I think they’ll be ok,” she said. “They’re both sensible. Philip’s really sweet, I’ve known him since high school. I trust him not to do anything that Rory’s not ready for. In fact, I think that she might be more ready than he is, at this rate.”

Aiden just chuckled, and he kissed her cheek. “How are you holding up yourself?” he asked. “Telling off Mother Superior aside, there are a lot of other people here.”

Belle looked around the room at all the other guests. Her father was suspiciously absent, but she found that she didn’t really miss him. She would go and see him whilst she was in town, but it would only be a short visit. As great as it had been to tell off Mother Superior, she wasn’t in the right frame of mind to have such a discussion with her father yet. It would be a while before she felt like she could confront him properly about the things that he’d said and the way that he’d hurt her so badly. She knew that she’d get there in the end; it wasn’t like there was a time limit on healing and recovery.

“I’m ok,” she said. “Better than I expected to be, really. I’m so glad that you’re here, I don’t think that I would have had the courage to come without you.”

“I’ll always be here whenever you need me.”

“I know. That’s one of the many reasons why I love you so much.” Belle sighed and took another long glug of her drink, finishing it. “I don’t think anyone would notice if we slipped away. I’ve spoken to Rory, and I don’t think that there’s anyone else here with whom I’m desperate to have a conversation. Shall we go?”

“I’m happy to make a move if you are. I don’t want to cut your fun short.”

Belle raised an eyebrow. “I think that calling it fun would be a bit of a stretch. I’m enjoying myself, but I can think of quite a few things that I would rather be doing. Also, they don’t make decent tea here and I really fancy a cup right now.”

Aiden took that as his cue, and together they left the function room, making their way back to the car. The drive back to their hotel was a quiet one, but it was not at all tense, the opposite of the journey into town. Every few seconds Belle would sneak a glance at Aiden, and she couldn’t help but smile every time. She loved him so much, and she’d had more than enough proof over the course of their relationship that he loved her back just as much.

They got back to their room and Aiden set about making tea for the both of them, letting Belle take off her shoes and stockings and get comfortable on the bed. The perfect time to voice the question that she’d been wanting to ask him all evening was now nearly upon her, and she decided to go for it.

“Aiden, I’ve been thinking.”

“Yes?” He brought over her tea and settled on the bed next to her.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, but I never really said anything because having thought about it so much, I always came to the conclusion that I wasn’t ready, and there was no point in bringing it up only to immediately shut it down again.”

“No… Whatever it is, you do have a point there.”

“I was thinking about Mother Superior earlier, and her being on at me about not having had kids yet.”

“Belle, I thought…”

“No, no, hear me out here. I’ve been thinking about this for ages, for way longer than just since this afternoon. And you know that I don’t care about what she thinks. I think my words to her this afternoon proved that. But I was thinking… What if we did start having sex with the intention of making a baby?”

“Oh Belle, my love.” Aiden reached across to cup her cheek, kissing her forehead gently. “My darling, you’ve always known that I would love to have children with you, but I don’t want you to feel like you have to have them.”

“I know. And I don’t. I think I did before. After Dad’s heart attack and everything else that happened the last time we were here, I felt like I probably ought to have a baby just to appease everyone, because that was what married people did. They got married and then they had kids, it was just the natural cycle of things and I thought my life would be so much easier if I had a baby. I thought everyone would stop judging me. But back then I knew that I wasn’t ready for it. And it’s only recently that I’ve thought actually, maybe I am ready for it. Actually, there’s no ‘maybe’ about it. I am ready. I want to be a mum, for no one’s sake but my own. Not because people are expecting it of me, but because I just want it for me. For us. So…” She leaned in and brushed her lips against his. “What do you say?”

Aiden didn’t reply. He pulled her in for a deep kiss, carding one hand into her hair whilst the other took her mug of tea and set it down on the nightstand so that he could push her back against the pillows.

“I love you,” he said eventually.

Belle giggled. “I love you too. I take it that’s a yes, then.”

“Yes. Yes, yes, I would love to have a baby with you, my darling Belle.” He began kissing his way down her neck, sliding his hands beneath her to fumble for her zip and Belle laughed, pushing him off her so that she could sit up and take matters into her own hands, shimmying out of her dress and pulling him back down, revelling in his kisses and nips and licks all over her chest, his tongue darting out to lap at her pebbled nipples through her blue lace bra.

“Easy tiger,” she murmured. “We can’t get started yet, I’m still on birth control.”

Aiden looked up at her and shrugged nonchalantly. “It might take us a few goes to get it right. We need all the practice we can get.”

Belle just laughed. “Well, if we are having a practice run, then you are wearing far too many clothes, my wonderful husband.” She pushed him up and got started on his waistcoat buttons whilst Aiden wrestled himself out of his jacket and tie. Although Belle had always enjoyed the act of undressing him, right now they both felt the same urgency. There would be plenty more opportunities for them to take their time in the future. After all, as Aiden said, they were going to need a lot of practice.

Once they were both naked, Aiden pulled Belle back in for another kiss, rolling them over so that she was on top. Despite her misgivings about the position when they had first begun to try it, it had quickly become one of Belle’s favourites, making her feel like she was in control, an active participant in the proceedings rather than just a spread-eagled ceiling watcher. She giggled, reaching down between them to take Aiden’s half-hard cock and stroke him a couple of times.

“God, Belle.” He threw head back against the pillows with a groan. “Oh my, love, if you keep that up I will not be good for anything, and the making of babies generally benefits from the father to be coming on the inside.”

Belle shrugged, continuing to touch him. “It’s a practice run,” she said. “We’ve got plenty of time to make all sorts of mistakes.”

“In that case, I look forward to the many mistakes we’ll make along the way. All the same though, I think that after everything you’ve survived today, and after how wonderfully brave and badass you’ve been, you deserve a little more care and attention.”

Aiden brought his hand down to comb through her curls, finding her slit and slipping a finger between her folds to touch languidly at her clit, circling the bud as it swelled and dipping down to pet at her entrance, where her warm fluids were already beginning to gather.

“You are extraordinary,” he murmured. “I’ll never get over just how extraordinary you are.”

He brought his fingers up to his mouth, licking her essence off them, and Belle wriggled at the loss of his touch. He might have wanted to take his time with her, but the heat was rising in her veins and she wanted him right now.

“Touch me, Aiden,” she moaned. “Please. I want you.” It felt so good to say it, to mean it, and to feel no shame at all from it. “I want you.”

“Then your wish is my command.” Soon enough his hand was back between her legs, touching her in just the right way to make her fall apart. Belle groaned, her hips rolling in time with the gentle thrusting of his fingers in and out of her as his thumb worked at her clit. She collapsed down onto him as she came, burying her face in against his chest, and he held her close.

“I love you,” she murmured. “Especially when you do things like that.”

“That’s good, because I very much enjoy doing things like that.” Aiden’s voice was husky and full of promise, and Belle knew that the night was only just getting started. She intended to enjoy it to the full, and once coherent thought had returned to her, she slipped her hand back down between them to find Aiden’s cock again, lining him up and sinking down onto him as he pushed up towards her.

She’d been so afraid of it hurting, but now she loved the feeling of being joined like this, and she began to move, a slow rocking of her hips at first, getting quicker and quicker until she was panting, sweat beginning to bead on her skin.

Sex wasn’t perfect; it wasn’t wonderfully special or magical and it wasn’t dirty and sinful. It was just… fun. There was no morality attached to it. No matter what they might get up to between the sheets, whether it was hard and fast and desperate like this or their long, languid lovemaking sessions in the dead of night, Belle knew that it was always enjoyable, and that she should feel no shame in that enjoyment.

Aiden came with a shout, his fingers digging into her waist, and Belle smiled.

She was definitely no longer a virgin, but the more that she thought about it, the more that it didn’t matter. Whether she had sex or not, that wasn’t what defined her. Sex was something she did, it wasn’t who she was. She was so much more than what her genitals were up to.

She knew that, and Aiden knew that, and even though it had taken her a long time to accept it, she had never felt as peaceful as she did now.

Belle let Aiden’s softening cock slip out of her and leaned in to kiss him again, feeling his hands come up to tangle in her hair.

Married life was absolutely wonderful.

[themagicianshea]

From now until November, we’ll be spotlighting one of our MHHE registered authors every week. Want to be featured? Just fill out this form!

MHHE Author Spotlight: imagined_melody

What piece of work best represents your writing style, and how would you briefly describe it?

I write a lot of fluff, a lot of hurt/comfort with super high levels of affection and intimacy, and a LOT of porn with feelings. My MHHE fic will probably be less porn and more h/c, so here's an excerpt from a fic I wrote a few years ago in that vein for the Shameless fandom, which can be found here. 

“What the fuck did you do?!”

Ian let him grab the cloth out of his hands, staying still while Mickey inspected the skin underneath with narrowed eyes. His cheekbone was mottled with a dark bruise, and there was a cut above his nose that was still trickling blood. It must look bad, because Mickey’s face was taking on that tight quality that Ian associated with somebody getting the shit kicked out of them. “Got in a fight,” he said.

“I can fucking see that,” Mickey responded with hardly a pause. “What the hell for?”

Ian’s mind was buzzing, like it had when he’d taken party drugs in his early days at the club, except he was pretty sure he’d been sober all night. He struggled to retrace the events of the evening through the blur of his thoughts, and came up empty. “Dunno,” he said. “There was another guy at the club. Tried to take some of my tips.”

“So, what, you stopped him with your face?” Mickey tipped his head back to see the bruising better in the dim light. A sudden flash of annoyance went through Ian, and he jerked his chin away. Mickey frowned. “I do something wrong, Firecrotch?”

“I just—I can’t fucking do this right now,” Ian growled, suddenly overwhelmed with the impulse to get out from under Mickey’s scrutiny. He stood up, and was halfway to the doorway into the living room when Mickey’s voice, somewhere between confused and pissed off, came from behind him.

“Can’t do what right now? Bandage up your face? Answer my fucking questions?” He heard Mickey approach, and braced himself for a hand on his arm or shoulder, muscles already coiling in preparation to shake the other man off. But Mickey didn’t touch him. “Ian, what’s going on with you?”

“I can’t—“ Ian stopped, then began pacing, rubbing his hand frantically over his face. “I can’t think, OK?” His head felt like it was spinning, everything all wound up tight like a trip wire. “I’m just tired, I guess. Long night. I’m going to bed.”

He did feel exhausted in fact—the kind of exhaustion that slowly spreads into your bones, the kind that sleep doesn’t even fix. But it wasn’t because he was just tired, and Mickey knew that as well as he did. There was a reason Ian had been so erratic the past few days, and both of them knew exactly what it was.

“Ian.” Mickey sounded concerned. Ian became vaguely aware that he was shaking. Panic curled its tendrils into him, and he took a shuddering breath to fight it back.

“I don’t want this to happen again,” Ian finally admitted in a weak voice. “I just want to make it go away. I don’t want to be like this anymore.”

What piece of work are you most proud of and why? 

I'm very proud of the current in-progress fic I have for the Spring Awakening fandom, "From God Above to the One I Love." You can find it starting from the beginning here, but here's an excerpt from the latest chapter (warning for slight dubious consent related to a moment of voyeurism, and some inappropriate talk regarding the attractiveness of monks):

“I wished I could say so much more, in my letters,” Ernst said wistfully.

Hanschen buried his fingers in the man’s curls. “I know,” he said. “Although, you never did answer my question about the monks there. How you liked them,” he added, inflecting pointedly.

Ernst looked scandalized, although Hans knew him well enough by now to tell that the incredulity was mostly for show. He couldn’t hold onto it for long, though, and dissolved into giggles. “Are you asking me if the monks—who have devoted themselves to the Lord—who have taken vows of piety and chastity—”

“—Were pleasing to look at,” Hans finished through his breathless laughter, and snorted with mirth when Ernst blushed and hid both his laughter and his embarrassment in Hanschen’s shoulder. He didn’t actually answer, and Hanschen hadn’t expected him to; the question was mostly just to tease him anyway.

They quieted to a peaceful contentment, and Hans listened to the sounds of the night around them: the chattering of nightbirds, the gentle pulse of the sea, the very faint strains of a stringed instrument native to the area coming from a house not too far away, where surely a celebration must be occurring. After a moment, he picked up on another sound: soft low voices, and rustling, from the alley below. He got out of bed to peer out the window, careful not to lean too far out lest he be seen. “They’re here again,” he said through a caught breath.

Ernst looked up. “Who is?”

Hanschen gestured him over. “Come and look,” he whispered; when Ernst came to his side, Hans pointed inconspicuously to a shadowy corner of the ledge below the house. In its dark hiding place were two men, only four or five years older than Hanschen and Ernst themselves, olive-skinned and dark-haired. They were pressed close together, hands everywhere; the smaller of the two had his lips against the neck of his companion, and their hips were moving in a way that could not mistake their intention, though they were completely clothed. They were so quiet that it was hard to hear much, but if Hanschen strained his ear he could make out the faint murmurs and sighs of pleasure that made his own blood run faster and hotter in his veins.

He looked at Ernst, who was staring, dumbstruck. “Hanschen. We should not be watching this. They do not know that we can see them.” He did not seem to want to look away, though.

It was not Hanschen’s first time observing a public display of this nature, but Ernst had never witnessed any sexual act other than those in which he had personally been involved. His face seemed to contain shame, discomfort, uncertainty, combined with a helpless arousal that he did not know how to respond to. Hanschen remembered being fifteen and virginal, seeing this very display for the first time. He had climaxed without touching himself or being touched, that night, so overcome by desires then unexplored. “They are in public,” he whispered, “and nearly in plain sight. We can watch for a moment.” These particular men had met in this spot once before, since Hans had been here; he had been reading near the window and seen a glimpse of them, and was not ashamed to admit that he had watched their tryst from his own obscured location. In his mind, there was no shame in watching, if such things occurred where they could easily be seen."

What tropes can we look forward to in your MHHE fic?

I can guarantee that my MHHE fic will contain more hurt/comfort than you can shake a stick at! I can't promise specific tropes yet, but lots of tender affection and slow-burn relationship development are in store for sure! 

Fuck, Marry, Kiss (under the mistletoe) with three Magicians characters of your choice! 

Fuck Eliot, marry Fen, kiss Julia! (And cuddle Quentin!)

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

Unpopular opinion and a hard pill to swallow for biased fans

Everyone and I mean everyone, in any fandom, is allowed to admire anyone they want. Just like all your tastes, you shouldn’t be ashamed for things you like. Why call sth you like a guilty pleasure just because most people find it cringy, you know? Does it make you happy? Does an artist make you smile? Then you have every right to admire them, even if they are the worst person in the world. Yes, even if they are horrible. I know this might trigger some people but hear me out for a moment.

Through their work, artists don’t only offer people entertaintment. For some people, some artists’ work or even themselves could pose some sort of shelter or maybe someone those people look up to, for a few reasons. Therefore, other people who have seen big flaws on that person shouldn’t try to make their fans feel guilty for that. Unless those fans are the “dangerous“ type (aka attacking others who dare speak low of their favorite artist), they don’t harm anyone by looking up to that person or liking the things they do. We are aaaall flawed people, we’ve all done sth really bad at one point in our life until we learnt that that was wrong. If we chose to learn from our mistakes or not is what shaped us to who we are today, whether we are good or bad people, but again this doesn’t really affect the people who like us unless we are close to those people and our actions affect them in some immediate way. In other words, fans of people who are generally thought as people who “shouldn’t” be having fans shouldn’t be targeted by fans of other artists who think that person’s favorite should be imprisoned, dead, out of the business etc.

I will give you 3 examples. One from an artist I personally hate (and many others do) but he still has fans, one that most people seem to not like (some hate him too), but I like him and one who has actually broken the law and was hated or laughed at and I was attacked for saying I don’t find what he did that wrong (and I am still a fan of). All these people belong to the fandom I am in the most, visual kei.

1) Kisaki. There are some heavy allegations against this person and while I admit his work in the music scene is actually admireable, I absolutely hate him and believe several of the scandals, spread around, about him. I do understand there are people who still like him though and I won’t go into detail about why I think that admiring such a person is wrong. Why? Cause that person I consider awful might have saved one of his fans through his music, maybe his music is an escape to many people which is why they maybe still support him. When I first started hearing bad stuff about him I was really spiteful and couldn’t believe he had fans, but after being attacked once for another artist on some other stuff and seeing lots of comments against a fandom I am in because the guy is generally not very much liked, I got it. I chose to not make someone else feel bad for their choice to like this person despite everything he’s done. The fact he is still followed doesn’t mean that all of his fans consent to his actions either. I don’t know if this has happened to you guys with friends or lovers or whatever but, when human beings meet someone for the first time, they don’t know them, right? And it might actually take them years to see their bad side. During all that time that you have noooo idea how dark that person can be, you develop feelings for them, right? So when you find out they are actually evil, what do you do? If you don’t believe in strong feelings about favorite artists, ask yourselves what you would do if that case applied to you with a friend or lover. Are you seriously capable of cutting ties with that person the moment you find out they are bad? Say that person was never evil to you, for some reason. Would u be able to cut him out of your life right away, even after years of developing feelings for them? Personally I can’t, which is why I never give wrong to such people (since I don’t know if by being fans of such person goes hand-in-hand with consenting to his actions, or choosing to ignore things because they are dealing with emotions building up for years) unless they come to me and yell about how their favorite is an angel and everyone is trying to make them look bad or sth. In that case I know it’s consent or straight up naivity and can’t hold myself back. But in general yes, I wouldn’t shame people for the things they like or the people they admire because people are complicated beings and even evil people have a couple of good traits, in Kisaki’s case being creativity and ability to make some good music.

2) Gackt. *sighs* If I had a euro for every time I found someone calling Gackt’s fans names, I would have had enough to be in Japan right now xD. And I am not talking only about the crazy fans that comment all kinds of weird stuff and are fanatically thinking of Gackt as their lord and savior or sth (all fandoms have such fans don’t even try to deny it). I am talking about fans like me, who know the stuff most people don’t like about him (I too have things I don’t like about him, shocking I know :p) but choose to stay for the good things. By generalizing that all Gackt fans are bad or stupid or I dunno what else is like...bitch you don’t even know me or the artists we admire, how can you tell me I am stupid and that your favorites are better people (also I get sooo mad at those people who are like “you know the kind of fans i am talking about therefore it’s your fault you got offended“. Bitch if you want to get a message across, word it better, don’t try to guilt-trip me for not “getting“ what you meant. I don’t know you so how the hell would I know what you meant. When you say “fans“ it means all fans and “some fans“ mean some fans). How do you know your favorites aren’t worse than him and simply aren’t as open, about it, as he is about things that generally annoy people? You can’t know that. Because you don’t know them personally, we all know only what we see. And most visual kei artists are very stubborn people in their own way and their personalities can be as eccentric as their looks so you never know. Again, just like you do with people in your everyday life, you choose a bunch of people (all of whom have flaws too. you included), compare their good and bad sides and choose whether the good ones are worth ignoring or accepting the bad ones, or not (based on your opinion, of course). You choose what you are ok with and build your relationships and tastes. That’s how it is. You don’t like an artist, fine, talk about them if you want, as no one can stop you from saying your opinion, but don’t trash every person that follows him too cause newsflash, each of those people is different and follows him for different reasons. I won’t go into detail about why I am his fan, but I find several of the things he says smart, things that have helped me keep trying to achieve things in my life in dark times. His jokes vary from stuff that have made me laugh to stuff that have made me feel insulted but it’s not like this would cut me off. There was a scandal that shattered me as a fan, but since it was proved wrong, people can say what they want. They can say he paid for it to be proven wrong, or whatever, but I’d like to believe he didn’t. Why? for the emotions thingy I mentioned in my previous example. Until I found articles about what happened after the scandal and also, what he had to say about it, I felt horrible, I questioned my morals and what kind of person I would be if I chose to continue being his fan after that. It’s not like we all casually accept things. Being a fan (i dunno if casual fans experience that but those of us who become more “invested“ in the people behind the music we listen to, do experience this) can be as emotionally draining as being in any relationship with someone, in my opinion. Because when someone you care about does sth wrong, you have to decide where you stand. You can’t just say it’s not your problem cause people will confront you about it. If it’s a lover we are talking about, they might confront you themselves, but with artists anyone can come to you and complain about how the hell you could be admiring such a person. I overthink pretty much everything so such stuff could affect me a lot, as if a friend of mine had done sth really bad. (unnecessary emotional trouble, but this is how i am, sue me).

3) Manew. Ok this one might not be someone many of you rememember but Manew is one of those visual kei artists that has actually gone to prison for something he did. To summarize, he and a bunch of his buddies started a rock club which was actually a host club that they hadn’t reported as one, when they made its papers. You have to have a permit if I remember well and they didn’t get it or try to get it, I don’t know, and advertised the place as a visual kei bar, instead. I remember stating that, to me, he is not a criminal and some random vkei fan who wasn’t even following me tried to put some “sense“ into me and explain to me why no matter how I take it, he is still a criminal and deserved jail time. In my country, opening bars without papers happens pretty often so no, I don’t consider that prison-worthy. Paying a fine and closing the bar I get it, but the rest is unnecessary. And that’s my opinion. The end. Trying to convince me that’s wrong won’t work, I am sorry. The conversation stopped when I told that person to just accept I am stupid and move on with her life which she did, thankfully. I don’t remember much from her arguments but she was telling me that I can’t close my eyes to breaking the law because he’s my favorite or sth. Bitch, no, it’s not just him I wouldn’t consider a criminal about this law breaking, it’s anyone! It’s not that heavy of a felony to deserve jail time in my eyes. And generally, there are maaany people who don’t always agree with laws around the world, it’s not just me. Of course each person has different laws they don’t care about and this one happens to be mine. I am not in any case saying it doesn’t deserve punishment because, if we let everyone open any kind of store or business without knowing what happens behind the scenes, the business world would be chaotic. Anyway, laws are made for people to live in some sort of order that doesn’t harm the society as a whole. But yeah, a fine, closing the bar, or sth else other than jailtime. Why? Because his career was destroyed after that as if he was some sort of murderer or sth and that’s a pity. He loved being a bandman and he was very ambitious. He tried making another band after he was released, but it ended before it was even officially announced with a first look and stuff, he tried to pretend nth had changed and worked hard for a comeback but he cut ties with the vocalist he was with out of nowhere and changed as a whole. He was pretty popular in the small bands he was and very sociable but after that last try to make a band after prison, it seems like he has a hard time starting a new band. He still plays music when friends call him, he still calls himself a bassist, but he no longer seem to try session bands, he doesn’t posts many pics, (he used to post a lot before that) he took off his piercings, doesn’t color his hair and seems like he is trying to keep things low. I mean if he wanted to quit completely he would. The fact he is still around, makes music and plays the bass when asked...it shows he might indeed still be trying to decide what to do and how would people take his coming back and if anyone would want a band with him or sth (most of his friends have retired by the way, otherwise I am sure he would have the chance for a new band). Anyway yeah, even for him, I love the guy, I am still his fan and if he ever wishes to join a band again he will have my full support. If that makes me a bad person so be it. *shrugs*

Generally, guys, just enjoy the music of those you like and if you don’t like someone, stop shaming others who do like them. Stick to your business and keep your opinions to your own blogs. Thank you.

[youknowwhatelseyouare]

13 maybe?

“You lost our baby?” Cyrus gasped, dropping his grocery list.

TJ crosses his arms.

“It’s not my fault,” he grumbled, scuffing his toe on the ground.

“I’m not the one who was carrying our child!”

“It’s an egg, Cyrus, it’s not a child. This was a stupid assignment anyway.”

“Yeah, a stupid assignment that we’re now going to fail!”

“Stop shouting!”

“I’m not shouting!” Cyrus yelled.

An elderly lady gave them a scandalized look. Cyrus looked away in shame.

“Alright, lets just calm down. Now, where did you last see the child?”

“I last saw the egg in the dairy aisle.”

“Are you serious- that’s the worst possible place to lose it!”

“Not my problem.”

“You’re the father of my child, it is your problem!”

They ran to the dairy aisle, dodging parents with strollers and old people with canes, until they reached the other end of the supermarket.

Where did you set it down?”

“Near the eggs.”

“Are you serious?”

“What?”

They walked over to the egg section and Cyrus peered down in between the cartons.

“I don’t see it.” TJ remarked, his hands in his pockets.

“No duh, Sherlock. How can you be so callous at the loss of our child?”

TJ shrugged and Cyrus rolled his eyes. Then, he spotted an employee a couple of shelves away.

“Um, excuse me, have you seen an egg?”

The employee gestured toward the dairy section.

“Aisle 12,” he mumbled.

“No, um- it wasn’t an egg from this store. We- it’s an assignment, for our home ec class, we’re supposed to take care of it for 24 hours but we-“

“Uh huh.”

“So…could you help us?”

“Not my division, sorry. I don’t know what to tell you, if it’s not there, it’s gone.”

Cyrus wanted to cry. He had never failed a class before, and this assignment was worth 30% of their final grade. He felt a hand on his shoulder.

“It’ll be ok. We can get a new egg, easy. No one will ever know the difference.”

“But I will. And so will you.”

“Yeah but that doesn’t matter. It’ll still be our kid, right?”

Cyrus looked up at TJ.

“Can I name it?”

“Of course.”

Cyrus smiled. He had the best boyfriend in the world, even if he had lost their (fake) child.

[blackcatkita]

The Consequence of Secrets- Chapter 4

The King

Liam x Jennifer (MC)

This one is all Liam with cameos of Jennifer and Chance. Nothing naughty here, I don’t think there’s even any swearing. I did put in a read more so if it doesn’t work, its not my fault. Word Count- 2531

Disclaimer- I do not own the characters, they are owned by Pixelberry Studios, I’m just playing with them.

Tagging by request- @captainkingliam @umccall71 @trianiasti @darley1101 @theroyalweisme @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @drakelover78 @decisso @hopefulmoonobject @bobasheebaby @trr-fangirl @topsyturvy-dream @never-ending-choices @cordoniaqueensworld @hellospunkiebrewster @choicesfanatic86 @gardeningourmet

Liam pushes the door closed, locking it behind him before his body is wracked with sobs. His palms still pushing against the door, he rests his forehead against the cold white surface, crying. On the other side, Jennifer is shaking the door handle trying to get in, “Liam, please… open the door!” she begs through the wood. “Please, just talk to me!” He wants to open the door, wants to take her in his arms and tell her everything’s ok, but he can’t. He just stands there, as he hears her hands slide down the door and a muffled thump as she falls to the floor. Picturing her sitting on the floor, tears running down her beautiful face, realization hits him. He just shut the door in his wife’s, his queen’s face as she cried. As she tearfully professed her love and he didn’t even say it back. It’s too much for him to bear. His knees buckle, and he slides down until he’s sitting on the floor. His head leaning back against the door, tears running down his face, as Drake’s words echo in his mind.

“You broke her heart.” “You don’t deserve her.”

He didn’t think he deserved her, he never had. Not after everything he put her through, after everything she has had to deal with since meeting him. The social season, the scandal, his engagement to Madeleine, and that was all before she agreed to be his wife. After she accepted his proposal it had been the press, the assassination attempt, the unity tour… now, shutting the door in her face. Thinking of all the things she had had to endure to be with him, no, he didn’t deserve her. But here she was, his wife, so devoted to him that she had taken everything put upon her without complaint.

He had overheard Drake say he loved her, how long had that been the case? Jennifer told him they hadn’t slept together, and he believed her, but she had confessed that they kissed. How many times? Did she kiss him, or did he kiss her? Did she want it to happen, or did he take advantage of her? He didn’t think Drake was capable of such things, but he never would have thought he would kiss her at all, given how Liam felt about her. All the times they were alone together, had anything else happened? Even if they never did again, how close had they come to doing so? All these questions ran through his mind, but Liam had been afraid to ask them.

He didn’t care about the kiss. Neither he nor Jennifer had been saints before they got together after all. They both had a past, and he certainly hadn’t been in an ideal situation. He was essentially dating multiple women at the time, at least as far as appearances went. What he cared about was that it was Drake. That they kept this from him for so long. That it wasn’t just a kiss, not for Drake anyway.

She had brought up the incident with Tariq twice… did she resent him all this time for not being there for her? For not making sure she was safe? His inability to protect the love of his life had driven her into the arms of another man, a man who took a bullet for her. Liam being powerless to protect her yet again. “I should have taken you away from all of this when you asked me to” What did that mean? She had wanted to leave him, she had wanted to leave with Drake.

How could he have been so blind? Blind to the fact that Drake loved her too? Drake. His best friend. His brother. How could Drake betray him like this? He knew how Liam felt about her, she was his world, she held his heart since the night they met. Even when he thought he would never see her again, part of his heart stayed with her in New York. As far as Liam was concerned, this was the ultimate betrayal. Drake had fallen for his girl.

All these questions and insecurities are why he’s sitting on the floor of the guest room, why he shut the door in his wife’s face. He couldn’t face her when he had failed her so miserably. He couldn’t look at her without seeing Drake’s hands on her, and it sickened him. He knows he should be asking her these questions, but he is afraid of the answers. He’s a coward.

“Liam, I love you. Please don’t ever doubt that. I love you, so much.”

He knew she loved him, that she was head over heels in love with him. And God… he loved her back. With every breath he took, every beat of his heart, he loved her. She was his wife, his queen, his everything. He wanted to believe her when she said she never had feelings for Drake but if that was true, why had she asked him to take her away? How could she not have developed feelings for him? Drake had always been there for her and Liam hadn’t been able to be.

Liam notices the sobs on the other side of door have stopped, she must have finally given up on him opening the door and gone to bed. He stands, wiping the tears from his face and falls onto the bed. He grabs one of the extra pillows and hugs it to his chest, wishing it was her his arms were holding tight. He drifts off into a restless sleep, his dreams full of her face. They are in the hedge maze, her running ahead of him laughing as he chases her. He’s desperate to catch up to her, but every time he gets close enough to touch her she’s suddenly ten feet in front of him, dancing away. The sky darkens ominously, peals of thunder booming through the air and he can no longer see her. “Jennifer!” he yells, he’s nervous, though he doesn’t know why. “Liam? Where are you? I can’t find you… Why can’t I find you?” she sounds scared. He runs through the maze, panic setting in as he turns a corner, terrified by the sight. She’s standing in the center of the maze, paralyzed with fear as the assassin points his gun at her. Liam tries to run to her, but it’s like his feet are cemented to the ground, he struggles to get his legs moving but they won’t budge. With tears in her eyes, she turns to him and mouths “I love you…” BANG!

Liam wakes with a start a few hours later, his heart racing, his body covered in a cold sweat as sunlight hits his face. The rays of dawn just beginning to break over the horizon. It’s been a long time since he had a nightmare of that night... He shakily walks into the bathroom to splash some cold water on his face and sees his reflection, he looks like hell. His eyes reddened from his tears and dark shadows under them from lack of decent sleep. The hours spent away from her have given his mind clarity. He needs to talk to his queen. He needs to make things right. They’ve been through too much, worked too hard to be together. He won’t let this break them. He will not lose her. He’s done being a coward.

Liam’s heart drops when he opens the guest room door and he takes in the sight before him. His love is lying on the floor where she cried herself to sleep. Her eyes, like his, are red and swollen, her mascara smudged and running down her cheeks, marking the path her tears took. Chance is nestled in beside her, his chin resting on her arm. Chance looks up at him and let’s out a low growl, the dog telling Liam his thoughts about allowing his mom to sleep on the floor while his dad hid. As if he didn’t feel terrible enough, now his dog is shaming him. How could he have ever doubted her devotion to him? He couldn’t possibly feel more remorse than he does in this moment.

Giving Chance an apologetic look, Liam crouches down, placing one arm around her shoulders, the other behind her knees and lifts her into his arms. Her arms wrap around his neck and her head rests against his shoulder as she remains asleep. “I’ve got you now, my love. I’m so sorry.” He whispers, placing a kiss into her hair while carrying her into their bedroom. He lays her down on their bed and grabs a throw blanket from the armchair in her reading nook, Chance using his doggy stairs to climb up next to her. He kisses her forehead as he tucks her in, smiling at her as she lets out a happy sigh when his lips meet her skin. Even in her sleep she recognizes his touch. As much as he wants to curl up next to her, he doesn’t know if she would want him to. They still need to have a difficult conversation, he needs answers, and he has a lot of mistakes to make up for as well. Leaving some aspirin and a glass of water on the bedside table for her, he gets in the shower.

He dresses quietly so as not to wake Jennifer and with a kiss on her cheek he walks out of the bedroom, calling Chance in a soft voice to accompany him. “C’mon Chance, lets go outside. We can get mommy breakfast on our way back.” “Aroo?” Chance answers with an inquisitive look. He jumps down from the bed and follows Liam downstairs.

Walking through the apartment he takes in the mess and thinks it could be so much worse. Hana and Maxwell must have cleaned up a bit while he and Jennifer were with Drake. Olivia certainly wouldn’t have helped, he thinks with a chuckle. Waiting for his coffee to brew he notices Jennifer’s phone on the counter as it lights up with a notification. Glancing down he sees it’s a text from Drake and his stomach drops. He reads it with shaking hands, not even remembering picking up the phone.

“Hey Reilly. I know I’m the last person you want to hear from today, after what I pulled… I just wanted to let you know, I’ll be gone for a few days. Couldn’t face the two of you after last night. I’m sorry for the way things came out, I didn’t mean for that to happen. But… I’m not sorry for all the times we spent together, for all those moments in between… I know you don’t feel the same, and that’s ok… I just, I want you to know, that I don’t regret loving you, even though you don’t love me back. I’ll see you in a few days… bye.”

“apologize to Liam for me, thanks.”

Liam trembled with rage. It is a foreign feeling for him. He can usually control his emotions but now, his hands are shaking, his breath is coming fast as he stares at the message. All he can hear is his heart thumping, his blood rushing in his ears. “I’m not sorry” “times we spent together” “moments in between.” “loving you.” Without thinking, he lets out an angry yell and throws Jennifer’s phone in frustration. It hits the opposite wall, shattering it to pieces. He stares at the point of impact, his fists clenched, taking deep centering breaths. He needs to calm down, he needs to get back in control. In through his nose… out through his mouth…   He doesn’t know how long he stands there, breathing, staring at the wall until he hears Chance’s whines. Chance is standing on his back feet, his front paws on Liam’s legs, sad eyes pleading with Liam. “It’s ok boy... Daddy’s ok.” Liam says, bending down to pet Chance, “Let’s go for that walk.” He heads for the door, scooping up the pieces of Jennifer’s phone on his way out.

Walking through the palace halls with Chance trotting beside him Liam knows what he’s going to do. Turning a corner, he finds the man he’s looking for.

“Your Majesty.” Bastien says, bowing to his King. “I didn’t think we would see you this morning. I was under the impression you and Queen Jennifer were taking the day off.”

“I have some business to attend to. If you would accompany me to my office.” Liam says, waving his hand to have Bastien join him.

“Of course, sir.” He says, falling into step beside Liam. “Your Majesty, since you’re here I should inform you, there has been an incident in the East wing library. It may be the result of vandalism… I haven’t given permission for the staff to clean it up yet, we may be able to find some clues as to who is responsible.”

“That won’t be necessary. I am aware of what happened, go ahead and order the cleanup.” Liam answers, the trio continuing their walk through the halls.

“Of course, your majesty. I will do so as soon as our business is concluded.” Bastien says with a nod.

“Thank you Bastien. Have you spoken to Drake this morning?” Liam asks, unable to hide his sour expression.

“I have. He’s decided to go camping for a couple days…” Bastien says, taking in Liam’s expression, he begins to wonder again what happened in the library. “Do I need to call him back to the palace?”

“No. A couple days should be fine.”

Reaching Liam’s office, Bastien opens the door for him with a bow. Entering, Liam sees his assistant, who jumped to his feet when the King walked in. “Ah, James. I’m glad to have found you here.” Liam says, walking over to the man’s desk.

“Good Morning your Majesty.” James replies with a bow. “Is there something I can help you with this morning?”

“There is… I require a new phone for Her Majesty.” He says, spilling the pieces of the phone onto the desk, feeling foolish for having broken it in the first place. “I need it as soon as possible, please.” Bastien looks on, taking in the situation quietly.

“Of course, your majesty. I can go right now if there is nothing else you require of me?” James asks.

“I believe that’s all I need today, if you could do this quickly I would appreciate it.” Liam says, hoping James can get a replacement before he goes back to his apartment.

“Of course, sir.” James says before departing with another bow.

Liam turns and walks over to his desk with purpose, squaring his shoulders to show his authority. Sitting down in his desk chair he opens the top drawer and takes out a piece of his official letterhead. Bastien, still standing, watches as Liam writes out the note, signs it, then stamps it with the royal crest. Standing up, he hands it to Bastien.

Bastien’s brow furrows as he reads the royal statement. “Is Her Majesty aware of this?” he asks Liam.

“She is not.” Liam replies curtly.

“Understood sir. It will be taken care of.”