#we can count on asp for three things

[alixinwwonderland]

Which Palladino is gonna make a cameo in the last season?

It's gotta be Amy, right? With those hats?

[violetlilysunshine]

Beer Gut - 18+

Boyfriend Chris Evans x Actress Reader 

Summary: Chris gets self conscious after gaining a little bit of weight and not working out as hard as he used to during his Marvel days.

Word Count: 4,224 

Warnings: 18+, smut, female masturbation, unprotected sex (don’t be silly, wrap your willy)

MINORS DNI

A/N: I don’t think Chris is actually putting on weight, he still looks amazing, this is just a story! Even if he is, we should still love him the same :)

        Also I don’t know how this got this long, but I hope you enjoy it!

If you are choosing to continue reading below, you are saying that you are 18 years of age or older and therefore are consuming this content at your own risk. Warnings are listed above, so you can consume what you are comfortable with of course. If I find out that you are a minor consuming my 18+ content, you will be blocked and reported.

MASTERLIST

Chris has officially been out of the MCU for about a year and a half now. He’s working on a few new projects, but has mainly been pouring his heart into ASP.

The two of you have been staying in Boston, both working on your own things from home during lockdown. It’s safe to say that neither of you have been strict with your diet or exercise routines that your jobs have previously given you since being stuck at home; you hadn’t really “given up” on yourselves, but the two of you also weren’t stressing about having the “picture perfect” bodies as much.

The break from the stress about the number on the scale has been delightful for both of you, having been held to crazy standards and expectations (both from studios and just from yourselves trying to portray characters in certain ways). You’ve enjoyed pigging out together on the couch and choosing to take a simple walk with Dodger instead of spending an hour running on the treadmill. Your mental health really needed this break, even if the reason for it wasn’t so great.

You miss being at work and seeing all of your costars, but you also loved this time with Chris. Since getting together, you’ve spent quite a bit of time apart as one would expect. The two of you were often filming on opposite sides of the country, or even in different countries at times, and crossed paths for maybe a month, if you’re lucky, in between jobs. Despite the distance straining on your relationship, you were still going strong after three years.

Your partnership in the bedroom has always been incredible; the amount of pleasure this man could give you is completely unquantifiable. At the beginning of lockdown, the two of you were going at it like bunnies, not being able to keep your hands off each other to the point that Scott had to say something.

“God, you guys have to stop doing things like that in front of me!” he screeched as you were resting in Chris’ lap on the couch, his hands on your hips. He was not being as subtle as he thought as he was, guiding your hips in circles against his member.

“Well you came into my house, what did you expect?” Chris threw back with a slight chuckle, clearly not embarrassed at all. Your face, on the other hand, had gone bright red at having been caught and you quickly scampered off his lap to your own couch cushion. Chris laughed even harder at your reaction, leaning over to peck your cheek quickly before retreating back to his original position.

Recently, however, your sex life has slowed immensely. You try to start things with him, but every time you think the fire is beginning to spark, he quickly slows things back down and pulls away, keeping things PG. As crude as it sounds, you desperately needed to get some. At this point, you would settle for anything, but you also didn’t want to push him. You respected his “no” anytime he said it, hoping that he would do the same with yours, which he always does.

That is how you ended up in the shower this early afternoon with your trusty pink bullet wedged between your legs. She hadn’t been put to use in quite a long time, only being pulled out when you were separated from Chris, but you just couldn’t hold out any longer. The water cascaded down your front and splashed against your left ankle. Your right foot rested on the outer ledge of the bathtub, your back pressing into the wall behind you for stability. You began by slowly rubbing your old friend up and down your slit, teasing yourself just as Chris would’ve with his fingers. After a few strokes, you flicked the switch and felt the vibrations begin to pour into your opening. Your mouth immediately dropped into an “O.”

You began to move it along your slit again before she took her place right on your clit. You instantly let out a loud groan, the feeling of action after so long bringing you up almost to a peak immediately. It didn’t take long for you to be teetering on the edge of your release. You panted harshly, all of your muscles tensing before the dam broke loose and you were free falling over the edge. If you were with anyone else, you would’ve been embarrassed about how fast you came, but all by yourself you didn’t feel anything but bliss. Your legs buckled slightly and you pressed yourself into the wall even harder to remain upright as you rocked your hips against your pink bullet furiously. You panted and groaned as you came around the mountain before you felt your body returning to normal.

You clicked off the vibrator quickly and placed it down on the built in shelf. You began to wash your hair, your legs still shaking slightly. When rinsing out the conditioner, you started to crave another orgasm. You peeked your head out of the shower curtain to look at the clock. Chris was doing an ASP interview downstairs and frankly, you didn’t want to get caught. Deciding you had enough time, you closed the curtain and picked up your friend again.

This time, you turned her on immediately and brought her to your sensitive clit. You jolted harshly and planted your feet a little harder. You brought the tip to your opening and slowly pressed it inside, moaning loudly at the contact.

You began to drag the small bullet in and out of your hole, rocking your hips in rhythm with your hand. You let out short but loud moans every time you entered yourself, unable to keep them at bay. Your head dropped back against the shower wall as your thrusts got more powerful. You quickly brought your other hand to your clit, needing more stimulation. You drew small circles on your nub, getting faster by the second. Your hips began to rock more violently and your back arched off the wall as you approached your high. You imagined it was Chris doing all of these things to you; that idea bringing you straight to the top.

You chanted, “don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop,” to yourself as you tumbled over the edge. In your mind you were saying it to Chris, but in reality it was only your showerhead hearing you. Your legs shook violently beneath you, this orgasm much more intense than the last. You pulled the toy out of your hole to avoid overstimulation, but kept circling your clit as you came down.

When you came back to reality, you pulled yourself upright again and rinsed your body one more time before turning off the water. You stepped out, dried off, and got dressed before walking downstairs to your man, feeling incredibly satisfied.

Upon entering the kitchen, you saw Chris closing his laptop. He glanced up at you and flashed you a sweet smile as you walked towards him. You began to feel a tiny bit guilty for your little moment upstairs, but pushed the thought aside and pecked him quickly.

“How was the shower, gorgeous?” he asked sweetly, oblivious to what you had just done upstairs.

“Relaxing,” you answered quickly, before changing the subject to lunch.

~~~~~~

After dinner that night, you and Chris settled into bed, opting to watch a movie in the bedroom instead of the living room just to change things up. You devilishly thought maybe you could get things going better in here, your events in the shower sticking heavily in your mind.

He settled back against the headboard as you popped in Harry Potter again. You’d seen it a million times, but it would always be your favorite. You climbed into bed, starting up the DVD player before cuddling up onto his left arm, entwining your right hand with his left, and resting your head against his pillow. You brought your left hand to secure over his left wrist and sighed deeply against the curve of his neck and shoulder.

Dodger hopped up on the end of the bed and settled himself at Chris’ feet. Before you were around, he slept in your spot, but now he opted to lay at (and more often than not, on) his dad’s feet.

You shuffled around a little bit, squeezing Chris’ hand and wrist multiple times in the process, making him chuckle. You shifted your hips back and forth, an action that used to get him going but recently doesn’t, creating a divot in the mattress to settle into. Once you stopped moving, Chris chuckled again.

“Comfy now, darlin’?” he questioned you with a raised eyebrow.

“Never better,” you answered in a British accent, quoting Hermione from the first movie and making Chris chuckle again.

“Alright then, here we go,” he said pushing play on the disc menu and squeezing your hand for the quickest second. You squeezed his back immediately and placed a tiny kiss on his shoulder.

About a half an hour in, Chris was mildly watching the movie, but your fingers drawing small circles on his forearm kept pulling his attention. He glanced over his shoulder at you, only to find your eyes already on him.

“What’s up, baby?” he questioned you.

“Nothing, I just… never mind,” you trailed off and turned your attention back to the movie. You didn’t know if now was the time to be bringing up your needs, but your core was still hot from your shower and you were desperately wanting more.

“No baby, don’t do that,” he said quickly, “what’s up? You can tell me anything, remember?” He paused the movie and adjusted himself to sit up a little further and face you more. He propped himself up fully against the headboard and pulled your legs into his lap, draping his arms across them.

“I know that, I just don’t know if now is the time to be bringing this up,” you answered. You craved him filling you up, but still, you didn’t want to pressure him into anything.

“If it’s bothering you, then any time is the perfect time to bring it up. Now tell me, gorgeous,” Chris answered calmly, running his fingers over your freshly-shaven legs gently. You felt safe with him, so you decided to go for it.

“I need sex,” you said bluntly.

“oh,” Chris responded quietly. His gaze dropped to your knees and he started to tangle his fingers together, a telling sign that his nerves were kicking in.

“What’s going on, bubba?” you asked in a soothing voice, placing one hand over the top of both of his. Something was bothering him, and this needed to be a safe space for the both of you. If you could open up, then so could he.

“It’s just… I don’t…” he started slowly; Chris didn’t exactly know how to put the way he was feeling into words, “with this whole lockdown thing and not working out like I used to for Captain America, I’ve put on a little weight and I don’t have all the muscle that I used to and I’m not as defined as I used to be and I just don’t want you to see me like this and be disappointed or let down or not be attracted to me anymore. I know how to get that body back but I’ve been enjoying all the junk food and spending extra time with you instead of in the gym and I just don’t know if I want to put myself through all that again but I still want to be the guy that you want,” he rushed out before taking a deep breath.

“Bubba,” you whispered, your voice small. You had no idea he was feeling like this and it broke your heart to think that he wasn’t confident in himself because he had every right to be. He was amazing and sexy and the absolute best guy around no matter what he looked like.

You turned to face him more, sitting up fully, placing your feet flat against the bed on the other side of his stretched out legs. You pulled his hands into your lap before speaking, “I don’t expect you to be Captain America. I don’t care if you have 8 pack abs or a beer gut as long as you’re happy. I don’t care about the muscles, really. They’re nice eye candy, sure,” you chuckled, lightening the mood just a tiny bit, “but I don’t need them. As long as you can throw me against the wall, I’ll be happy,” you said completely sincere to begin with before throwing in the joke at the end, making him burst out laughing.

“Really, babe? You don’t want the muscles? Since I’ve known you, I’ve had them. I assumed that’s what you wanted me to look like,” he questioned you, his voice quiet and high.

“Really, bub. You’re exquisite no matter what you look like. And If you think I haven’t gained my own lockdown weight, you’re crazy,” you laughed, squeezing his hand.

“You always look beautiful, babe. I love you just the way you are,” he reassured you, finally looking up into your eyes again.

“Well, now you know exactly how I feel,” you answered firmly before asking, “can I show you how much I love you?”

“Right now?”

“Yeah, I’ve been dying for you so much that I had to break out my vibrator this morning,” you laughed.

“Why didn’t you just come to me?” he questioned quickly, a little hurt that you wouldn’t open up to him immediately.

“Well, I’ve been trying to start things for the past few weeks but you seem to pull away, like you don’t want to do anything, so I let it go. Now I know why you were doing that, but I didn’t want to pressure you into sex - I never do - and well, she was there and I needed to get off,” you spoke, chuckling at the end.

“Oh I can do things she never could,” he husked at you. He then grabbed your hips and pulled you into him, pressing kisses all over your face and touching every part of you he could. He peppered quick and short kisses to your forehead, nose, cheeks, neck, and jawline, carefully avoiding your lips.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close and laughing, “Chrissssss,”

“What, baby?” he chuckled, pulling you even further into his chest and wrapping his arms around your waist.

“You’re missing!”

“What?”

“Come here,” you laughed. You grabbed his cheeks in your hands and forced your lips together. He laughed into your mouth before you both parted your lips and poked out your tongues, meeting in the middle. You fought for dominance in the kiss, something that doesn’t usually happen as he typically starts make out sessions, hungry for you. You eventually conceded and let him explore your mouth.

Chris pulled away from the kiss and looked over your shoulder.

“Dodge, hop down buddy,” he said sternly, trying to make Dodger listen to him the first time, something that never happens when Dodger is comfortable.

Dodger just sat there looking at Chris with a face that said, “really, dad? I'm trying to watch the movie and nap.”

“C’mon, bubba, go lay in the chair,” Chris said, lightly tapping Dodger’s butt with his foot. This made Dodger move and he grunted as walked over to and settled into the chair.

You laughed at this interaction, Chris chuckled for the slightest second before smashing his lips back to yours. His hands started to feel around your hips again, paying special attention to the waistband of your sweats. He slightly pushed up your shirt, which is really one of his but he’ll never complain about you wearing his clothes, exposing just a sliver of your skin to the cold air. His hands started to roam your body under your shirt, not reaching your breasts just yet. He wanted to tease you just a little bit, but you were all for it. After so long, anywhere his hands touched went up in flames.

Chris grabbed the hem of your shirt before leaning back. His eyes met yours and he quirked up a brow, asking for permission to remove your shirt. You nodded quickly and helped him remove it . He tossed it off the bed and took in your bare upper body. More often than not, being stuck at home and all, you were choosing to go braless and he’s not complaining. You quickly reached over and pulled his sweatshirt off as well.

Once your upper halves were both bare, you quickly reconnected your lips. The half minute of being apart while you disrobed felt unbearable for the both of you. He quickly tangled his tongue back with yours and pushed the tips of his thumbs into your waistband at the sides. You lifted your hips up, bridging over his lap, and he began to push your sweats down your legs. You sat back down and lifted your feet off the bed; Chris removed your sweats from your body completely and tossed them onto the floor with your shirt.

You pulled your legs off of his lap and pushed yourself onto your knees. You cupped his face in your hands as you eased him back against the headboard and lifted one leg across his waist, straddling him. You settled your body down on his, fully sitting in his lap, and his hands instantly gripped onto your waist again.

He groaned into your mouth as your center met his member. You started to grind your core against him, both of you moaning at the contact.

“God, babe I needed this too,” Chris moaned out against your lips.

You started to move your hips a little faster, pressing down harder, dragging the sweetest sounds from Chris’ lips. You reached down between the two of you and started to push his gym shorts and boxers down as much as you could. Chris then lifted his hips off the bed, bracing his weight against the headboard, and you pulled his clothes down his legs and tossed them off the end of the bed.

He dropped his hips back down to the mattress; you kept yours up and pushed down your panties. Chris helped you take them all the way off, throwing them on top of the pile. He growled against your lips before moving his mouth down to kiss along your jaw and neck.

You dropped back down, connecting your cores again; he could feel your wetness leaking out of you and beginning to soak his member. He moaned against your neck, sending shivers down your spine. You arched into his chest and threw your head back as you ground against his throbbing cock.

Chris wrapped his arms around your back; you could feel him beginning to pick you up but you pushed him back down. You knew he wanted to flip the both of you over, but you wanted to ride him tonight.

“No, bubs,” you spoke up to the ceiling, “I’m on top tonight.”

“You sure?’ He questioned, pulling away from your neck and looking you in the eyes. You had only ridden him a few times, his member a little too big for you to take like this sometimes. He loved watching you bounce on him, but he knew it was a lot for you so he typically took the top.

“Yeah, baby, I can do it,” you answered breathily, lifting your hips off of his.

You reached between your bodies and picked up his thick member. The tip was dark red and oozing precum, which you wiped off the top and down his length. He moaned as you pumped him a few times before you brought him to your entrance. You froze, his tip kissing your lower lips ever so gently as you looked up into his eyes with a small, slightly nervous, smile. You were starting to think that after so long, it might be a little hard for you to ride him but you so desperately wanted to. He dropped his hands to your thighs and rubbed his palms up and down the tops of them.

“Take it slow, I’ve got all the time in the world, darlin’,” he spoke to you before leaning forward and pecking you quickly.

You puffed out a little breath before looking back down at your hand. Gently, you started to ease down onto his length. You threw your head back and moaned out when you’d taken half of him in. He watched you in pure bliss, loving every second of being connected with you. You breathed deeply and Chris reached forward with both hands to hold you steady just below the ribcage.

“Takin’ me so good, doll. Just like that,” he groaned out lowly, spurring you on even further.

His words gave you a boost of confidence; you started to drop down onto him faster, the stretch burning a bit, but you loved feeling him inside you again so the slight pain was worth it.

Once you’d settled fully on top of him, you collapsed forward, your head resting on his shoulder as you moaned out loudly.

Chris chuckled at you, “doin’ okay, darlin’?” he questioned, “want me to take over?”

“No no no,” you answered quickly, “just need a second, promise.”

“Take your time, pretty girl,” he told you. While you were stretching, Chris rubbed up and down your back and pressed gentle kisses into your hair.

After a few minutes, you’d adjusted enough to start moving. Pushing yourself back up to a seated position, you pulled Chris forward so he was sitting upright as well, and connected your lips again. You held onto his shoulders to help yourself lift up and down, riding him shallowly.

You both moaned out at the feeling again, pleasure starting to coil in your tummies. Chris brought his hands back to your ribcage and tightened his grip, beginning to pull you up and down, helping you bounce further and take more of him. He stared at your connected centers, watching himself disappear inside of you, while your wetness dripped down onto the tops of his thighs. Before long, you were moving so high that just his tip was in you, before sinking back down on him completely.

Chris moved his feet to sit flat on the bed and dropped his back against the headboard once again. He started to lift his hips, pounding into you, chasing both of your highs. Chris moved his hands down to settle against your hip bones. He slammed your hips down into his over and over, his tight grip leaving bruises in their wake, ones that you will love seeing on your skin tomorrow.

The coil in your stomach was kinking tight. You threw your head back again; Chris took the opportunity to leave kisses on your neck once more, creating hickeys for you to cover up tomorrow.

“Don’t stop, I’m so close,” you moaned out into the air.

“Me too, baby, me too,” he panted against your collar bone, “come with me, ready baby? Five more thrusts,” he grunted out. You took turns counting them out.

“Five,” you moaned softly.

“Four,” he answered, deeply.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One,” you moaned out together. You felt the coil in your stomach snap and heat flooded through your veins. You dropped your forehead to meet his.

He poured his seed into you deeply, his tip kissing your cervix as he did so. He panted against your lips, mixing his breath with your own.

You sat seated on him for a few minutes, both of you catching your breath, passing a few “I love you’s,” and pecking each other frequently.

Once you came back to Earth, you slowly lifted yourself up and off of him, wincing as he fell out of you and his member dropped on his thigh. You slid off of his lap and onto your side, settling onto the pillow and looking up at him tiredly.

“Wow,” you breathed out.

Chris laughed loudly and climbed off the bed, strolling into the en suite. He came back quickly with a damp cloth; Chris coaxed you to roll over on your back, separating your legs and cleaning your thighs and opening gently. He loved taking care of you after “activities,” not only because he loved you, but he also liked to watch his cum leak out of you.

When he’d seen enough and deemed you clean, Chris discarded the cloth in the bathroom and crawled back into his side of the bed. He pulled you to him quickly, wrapping his arms around your back and kissing your temple.

“What did I ever do to get a girl like you?” he questioned lightly.

You looked into his eyes, reaching up and stroking his cheek. “Hmm bub, that’s a good question,” you answered quietly, “I think it was him,” you laughed, pointing at Dodger in the chair.

“Oh you do, now?” he answered, “you sure it wasn’t anything else?”

“Hmm, maybe one other thing…” you trailed off.

“Let’s just make sure, huh?” Chris asked and rolled over on top of you, nudging your legs apart and beginning round two of a very long night, not that you’re complaining.

[christowhore]

Making You Mine

pairing: chris evans x professor!fem!reader, chris evans x oc!female (brief)

summary: you and chris have your first date.

word count: 3.0k

warnings: !!! 18+ minors dni !!! slight smut, fluff, age gap (reader is 28, chris is 39) suggestive conversation, two dorks in love, alcohol consumption, heavy making out, dry humping, orgasms, rpf

notes: ngl to y’all i didn’t even mean to make it include some smut, but i ended up getting carried away. this is the second part of the ‘Pining for Professor’ series. i hope you all enjoy it and make sure to let me know what you think! *i do not give consent for this fic to be reposted or translated*

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MAIN MASTERLIST • SERIES MASTERLIST

The next few days that passed after your encounter seemed to fly by. You were busy working on your dissertation while Chris was attending ASP interviews.The two of you would text from time to time, just keeping the other updated about your life.

Chris had planned the evening out. Before considering what meal he wanted to make you, he made sure to ask you about any dietary concerns or allergies that you might have, and he was thankful that he did. You informed him that the only food allergy you had was apples. Part of him thought you were joking because he never heard of that being a restriction one could face, but after sending him a photo of one of your allergic reactions, he trashed every single apple he had stored in his fridge. A dramatic reaction, yes, but he wanted to make sure you were both completely safe and comfortable.

He decided on making a simple pasta dinner, something easy that he believed he couldn’t possibly mess up. It wasn’t until he was googling wine pairings when he remembered the woman he was supposed to have this same evening with just a few days ago; Lindsey.

Chris had been so preoccupied with you that he completely forgot about the woman. Looking at his phone and opening their messages, he saw that he had been accidentally ghosting her for the past three days. Not knowing how to deliver the news, he decided it would be best to break things off over the phone than through a text.

Clicking on her contact, he dialed her number and listened to the dial tone ring in his ear. He was pondering on what to say when he heard her voice through the phone. “Hey stranger, I was wondering when you were gonna call me back.”

“Hey Lindsey, sorry I got a little busy with life. Can we talk?”

For about the next five minutes, Chris tried his best to not give the cliche ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ excuse, but in the end he had to explain to the woman how he met somebody else, you, and that he didn’t want to string her along any longer. The call ended with some harsh words from her which he expected. Even though he hated that he hurt her feelings, in the end all he kept thinking about was you.

A couple miles away from his home, you were at your house going through your entire wardrobe trying to find the perfect outfit to wear. Did you want to go the fancy route and wear a nice dress or something casual like jeans and a blouse? Even though Chris told you the plans he had scheduled for your rendezvous, you were still feeling nervous about the whole affair.

Thankfully with the help of your friends, they were able to ease your worries and help you out with your ensemble.

The night before the planned evening, the two of you lay awake, plagued with nerves. Worried about messing up and ruining the chance to be with the other.

With how his morning started the day of his previously planned affair, Chris made sure that nothing could stand in the way of tonight. He had his suit pressed, the ingredients needed for the meal prepped, and a bouquet of red roses bought fresh from the florist resting in a vase of water. Scott went with Dodger over to his sister Shanna’a house, leaving the home to himself.

The day proceeded quickly and soon enough it was time for the date. You agreed to drive over and meet him at his home, arriving there around eight in the evening.

Walking up to the home and knocking on the door, you kept cracking your knuckles, a nervous tick of yours whenever you got anxious. Once the entryway was opened and Chris stepped into your sight, all of those pesky jitters suddenly left your body.

Chris was clad in a tailored black suit that clung to his frame. The white button up he donned was crisp and clean, you could make out a few of his tattoos peeking through the material. Accessorizing his attire, he wore a black and silver watch, the silver in the band matching the Saint Christopher medallion clasped around his neck showing through the opening of his top. His hair was perfectly gelled, making him look fresh out of a photo shoot.

He looked absolutely delectable and part of you didn’t even care about the meal, you just wanted to know how the material of his clothes felt against your skin.

When Chris opened up his door he knew you’d be there, beautiful as ever but he didn’t expect the sight that he was met with.

Your regularly curly hair was straightened, cascading off your shoulders and perfectly framing your face. The makeup you applied made your features light up. He took notice of the lipgloss you put on and all he wanted to do was grab you and taste the substance that was lucky enough to touch your lips.

Looking your body up and down, he noticed your black silk dress, a tie in the middle cinching the material together. The material stopped at your mid thighs revealing your velvety smooth legs and high heeled shoes. Thoughts of him trailing his hands up the sides of your calves while he pinned you below him flashed in his mind. Quickly he shook the image out of his mind to put back all of his attention on you.

“You look absolutely breathtaking,” he whispered in awe.

“You’re not looking too bad yourself.”

As you entered his home, he placed a hand on the small of your back tugging your frame into him so he could place a kiss on your cheek. The same butterflies you experienced when he pecked you that night in the parking lot reappeared by the dozens.

The smell of sautéing onions and garlic filled your senses, instantly making your stomach lurch around. “Whatever it is you're making smells amazing,” you commented to the brunette.

He bashfully smiled, “Thank you, I’m almost finished, though I should let you know I’m not the greatest cook.”

You laughed at his comment, unconsciously placing your palm against his upper arm. “It’s alright Chris, at least you have your looks right?”

It was his turn to laugh, your playful matter had him buzzing.

The two of you made your way through the kitchen, him to the front of the stove while you sat in the high chair behind the counter top. Before he returned to cooking the vegetables, he grabbed the bouquet of red roses he had ordered and handed them to you, a smile instantly appearing on your face.

You thanked him for his generosity and the two of you continued on in lively conversation while he focused back on finishing dinner.

Laughter filled the room while you two chatted in his living room. You two had finished dinner, Chris making a wonderful shrimp scampi that even he was surprised tasted good.

Even though you spent three hours talking that evening in your office, you two didn’t have any difficulty finding new topics to explore.

You spoke about your family and how life was growing up without siblings. How it felt being at an advanced academic level at such a young age, which allowed you the opportunity of being employed at the university at 21. Surprisingly, you allowed yourself to be vulnerable around the man, something that you had never done before. It was something about his demeanor. His presence was inviting and captivating, and all you wanted to do was continue to be around the actor.

Chris was at a loss of words with how to describe how you made him feel. You had such a hypnotizing way to yourself. He would listen to your laugh and drink it in as if it were the last time his ears would be blessed with the sound. Your smile was so genuine, stretching from ear to ear and all he wanted to do was keep that look on your face till the end of his days. He didn’t know he was staring at you until you waved in front of his face, regaining his attention.

“Earth to Evans. Are you okay there?” Your eyebrows were slightly furrowed while you stared intently into his eyes, waiting for his response. He didn’t even think about the next words that came out of his mouth when he spoke.

“I know that we just met last week, and this is only our first date, but would you do me the honor of being able to call you my girlfriend?”

The statement that was rushed out of his mouth had you choke on your glass of wine. Regaining your composure, you set the drink down and looked up at Chris.

There wasn’t any humor in his eyes, just determination as well as a bit of trepidation.

You were about to speak when he started up again. “Usually when meeting someone, I go on about two to three dates with them. Get to know them and go through the ‘what if’s’ possibilities. But with you I realized I can’t wait that long. The only thing I care about is being able to see that smile on your face, and have the melodic sound of your laugh ingrained in my life. And I don’t want to waste another second trying to determine ‘what if’ we’re not a match when I already know that you’re the one for me.”

This time you were the one at a loss of words. Emotions wrangle throughout your body. You were nervous, but the nerves that stood on end were due to the fact of being scared of how quickly you were falling for him.

Without saying anything but donning a beaming grin, you nodded.

Chris immediately leant forward and molded his lips with yours. The kiss was soft and delicate. His right hand slightly cupped your cheek, and in that moment you felt safe, you felt at ease. There was no other place the two of you wanted to be than right there in each other’s embrace.

When you pulled away it felt like time was at a standstill, nothing else mattered but the two of you being together. Even though he wasn’t a photographic person, Chris felt this overwhelming need to document this moment.

He quickly pulled out his phone and asked you if it were okay to take a photo of the two of you, a personal keepsake so to speak. You nuzzled into his side, shoulders touching, breaths fanning across each other’s face. Chris extended his hand with the camera app open and aimed towards the two of you. Though you were looking at the screen, a beaming grin stretched across your features, he was only looking at you. Admiring you as if you were his entire world, which you were slowly but surely becoming. Snapping the photo, he locked his phone and tucked it away back into his slacks.

With the close proximity you two shared, he took advantage of the opportunity to kiss you again. He was desperate to feel you, touch you, taste you. The flavor of your strawberry lip gloss inviting him in.

You melted into him, hands gripping the lapels of his jacket pulling him closer into you. He leaned into your touch, causing the two of you to lay back against his couch.

His hips were slotted in between your legs, crotch rubbing against your warm core. The friction drawing out a low moan from your chest.

He continued to feverishly attack your mouth. This kiss was different from the first. This was pure hunger. You two were desperate to feel the other. His tongue slotted into your mouth, tasting the leftover remnants of the Pinot Grigio you consumed. Notes of grapes and honeysuckles on your tongue made him push deeper. The intoxicating taste and the effects of the alcohol had him unconsciously grinding into you, rubbing his cock against your covered mound.

You ran your hands across the expanse of his body. Rubbing his arms, slightly gripping his ass, tangling your hands into the brown tuffs of his hair, you couldn’t get enough. He felt amazing against you. The rubbing of his hips were drawing out moans that you didn’t even try to suppress due to the unwavering desire you felt towards him. You felt him lift your leg up, giving himself more room to rut against you. The movement caused your dress to hike up, showing the lace of your black thong to your now boyfriend.

The two of you continued with your actions. Tongue slapping against each other as you sloppily tasted the other. The movements of his hips against your cunt accelerated to a rigorous pace when he felt a wet patch growing on your panties.

You felt like honey teenagers, dry humping each other like a pair of desperate virgins, but in that moment it was perfect.

Drawing away from each other, Chris nestled his face in the crook of your neck, his warm breath sending shockwaves of arousal straight to your core.

You were both close to reaching your respective peak, your moans were getting wilder and his hips were becoming unruly.

It only took a few more bumps of his crotch against your covered clit for you to gush in your panties. An erotic moan left your lips and filled the room while your back arched, pushing your breasts against his chest.

Hearing the near pornographic sound that left your body, while feeling your peer nipples press against his front allowed him to reach his release as well. Biting down against the column of your neck, he came in his pants, filling his boxer briefs with his seed.

Chris collapsed on top of your panting body, the two of you trying to regain a steady breath. He lay there in your arms, your nails dragging along the nape of his neck.

When he finally regained composure, Chris raised up on his palms and looked down at you. And as if your minds were synced up, you both erupted in a fit of giggles.

After coming down for your laugh attacks, you excused yourself to the bathroom to freshen up.

You stood in front of the mirror, examining your reflection. There was still some adrenaline flowing through your bloodstream causing your hands to slightly shake. Your lips were red and swollen due to the attack on them moments prior. But what you couldn’t ignore was the dopey smile that seemed to take permanent residence on your face. You felt like a giddy schoolgirl, though you weren’t complaining.

Your recently ended relationship with your ex Justin was not great. The reason for the break up was due to the fact that he didn’t make you feel special. Looking back at it now you don’t even know why you agreed to start dating him in the first place. But you were thankful it concluded, otherwise you wouldn’t be here, with a man who looked at you like you hung the moon and placed every star in the sky yourself.

Back in the living room, Chris paced around the living room for your return. Happiness surged through him, making him pump his fist in the air like he was John Bender in The Breakfast Club.

He's been with plenty of women throughout his life, even getting engaged to one, but it was in this moment he realized he had never been so infatuated with someone until you entered his life. You made all of the hairs on his body stand up just by looking at him. It elated him but also scared him. It scared him due to how fast he was falling for you. But he didn’t care. Though this feeling was foreign, he had no problem welcoming it with open arms.

After a few moments consisting of composing yourself, you made your way out of the bathroom and back to Chris. You two stood there, just smiling at each other like idiots. It was him who finally piped up.

“So that was some first date.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at his comment.

“Tell me about it,” you replied.

The two of you conversed some more before it got late and you decided to call it a night. Making sure you had all of your belongings, including your roses, he escorted you to your car.

Resting against the door, you couldn’t resist temptation so you pulled him into you, attaching your lips to his once more. This kiss wasn’t the apprehensive one you first shared, or the hungry and desperate one that came after. This kiss was full of passion. It was the type that made you breathe out a sigh of relief into the other's mouth, glad that your bodies were in union in such an intimate manner. Neither of you wanting it to end.

When you finally pulled apart, Chris rested his forehead against your own, trying to savor the moment a while longer.

“I’ll call you when I get home, alright?”

Repeating the actions yet again of your first meeting, he went to open your door, waiting for you to slide in before shutting in. After turning on the engine, you rolled the window down allowing Chris to rest against the frame on his forearms.

“See you later, girlfriend.”

“Right back at you, boyfriend.”

Giving you a fleeting kiss goodbye, he stood up and watched as you pulled out of his driveway and back to your home.

Chris stood there in his driveway for a while. He thought about how the date went twenty times better than any other one he’d ever been on. How you made him feel like the greatest man in the world. The way your lips met his and how it was like they were made to be caressed by his. The smile that crept on your face when he called you his girlfriend. And he thought about how now nothing else in this world mattered except for keeping you in his life and making sure that wonderful smile never left your features.

A/N: so the song True by Spandau Ballet is the song i envisioned when Chris opened the door. it’s that one slow 80s song they play in movies where it’s goes like ‘ah ah ah ahhh ahh’ it's all romantic and what not, y’all know the song i’m talking about, that one. cheesy i know, but i works.

anyway baby, i know there’s not a lot of dialogue, i’ve come to the realization that it’s one of my weakness but i’ll be working on it.

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if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment, feedback is much appreciated!

* dividers credit: @firefly-graphics *

[stcveskent]

never letting go ; chris evans

warnings : smut and fluff <3 minors dni

and also its my first smut on tumblr so im scared

pairings: chris evans x reader

requested on wattpad

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it started with a small argument. Ever since he started working with one of this lady, Kiara. he kept on talking about her, and told his mother about her and praised her a lot of times.

You ignored it a few times, but then you noticed how long he'd talk to her on calls, and you had that bit if suspicion that he isn't interested in you after you two got married and he was cheating on you with her.

The ASP programme was a success, for which all of them decided to have a stress reliving get together and obviously, chris agrees and also takes you out with him, as his plus one.

Chris again, started talking to her, and they were really close, so by sitting and looking at them talking, you felt jealous, and you sighed turning to go get a drink, to which he didn't even notice it.

Mark Kassen, one of Chris's friends, and also yours after you've seen him a million times at your place and on many gatherings.

"Hey!" He spoke, and you turned to him, a smile on yoir face as you greeted him.

"Mark! Hey!" You said and he smiled nodding.

"Its been long y/n, damn! Chris is a lucky man." He complimented, making you blush and giggle.

"Thank you, and you look great." You complimented him, and he nods. You and him indulge into a conversation and all of your attention which was on chris a while ago, has turned to him.

Two-three drinks later, Yours and his laughs, were loud, and you both didn't care, you were enjoying his company, because its really been that long since you laughed. Chris was always busy, and he always had time for Kiara, but when it comes to you, he brings some excuses.

"Oh god! Its been so long since i've laughed that bad." You spoke, still laughing.

"I know i am funny, you didn't had to compliment me all the time." He spoke and you rolled your eyes. The only thing you didn't notice that as soon as you started to smile and laugh next to Mark, Chris started to notice.

All his attention which was on Kiara, has turned to you. He noticed how you dressed, it was similar to the times when you dressed for him in the newly married days.

"So you looked upset when i came here? Is everything okay?"

"was that really that evident?"

"People say i am very great at reading people's face and thoughts, so guess for me, yea." He says and you giggle.

"As a friend i'd love to hear you, it makes you feel less heavy."

A sigh left your mouth, and he brought you a drink, and you looked up to him.

"Thank you, so, for the past couple of days, i mean weeks, i-i feel like Chris and I, weren't meant to be, i feel like the love between us is one sided, and he really doesn't love me anymore." You said your head down, and you spoke your thoughts out, it really did make you feel light

"I would be lying if i agreed to you, Y/n, he loves you so much, sometimes when you called him between meetings, he would have a smile on his face, so bright that everyone near him knows, that its your call, and when he hears your voice before any meetings, he really says everyone, that my girl really knows how to make me feel better, trust me Y/n! he loves you." He says, keeping a hand in yours, Chris noticed it and came towards both of you.

"Thank you, this really made me bette—"

"Hey! Mark." Chris says hugging him and then stands next to you

"Y/n?" Chris called

"Yes?" You asked and looked at he looks at you.

"can we leave?" He asks as he slides his hand on your waist, and put his head on your neck.

"See, i told you!" Mark says and you giggled

"It was nice to talk to you, I think we'll leave, he's tired." You said and he nods.

"I had alot of fun talking to you, see you soon!" He said and hugged you, and after your goodbyes, you two walked out, his hand on your waist.

As both of you sat down in his car, you notice how angry he looked, which honestly turned you on. He started to drive, your eyes on your side of the window.

"you won't speak?" you asked

"About what?"

"about why you look mad."

"you should ask that question to yourself."

"Well what did i do? Care to enlighten me?" That, that's where the point you started getting mad.

"y/n, you're pushing your luck!" He warned, parking his car near yours and his house. You both got out of the car, and you walked your way inside as you unlocked it

"i am pushing my luck?!" You asked as you sat down.

"do you want me to remind you what you did?"

"Ofcourse!" You said and rolled your eyes.

"You flirted with him, you flirted with my friend, Mark! Obviously i got mad!"

"funny how i saw you and Kiara flirting like hell, and if i just talked you feel like i flirted, great job christopher."

"Don't pull this on me!" He yelled

"YOu're pulling it on me, and it's not me, who were flirting with a girl, when their wife was next to them!"

"y/n enough!"

"No! What would you do if I didn't stop—" as soon as you said that, his lips smashed over yours, shocked at first, you kissed him back, roughly as he roughly kissed you, full teeths and tongues. Your arms instantly wrap around his neck as you pull him closer.

Small grunts and moans leave yours and his mouth as his hands travels from your face to your sides, he pulls away for a while.

"You need to be taught a lesson!" He said as you looked into his now-dark eyes blown with lust. He picks you up in his arms and puts you on the bed as he looks at you with a smirk. He comes closer and you look at him, your breathe hitches as you him.

he kissed you, with the same energy, and you being a smart ass, riped his shirt off as soon as he kissed you, a small chuckle left his mouth as he saw the eagerness in you, and then his hands on your back as he unzips that pretty dress of yours, leavimg in your bra and underwear.

"Eager are you, baby?"

you nodded, wrong move!

"i'm sorry what was that, talk to me, baby."

"Yes yes i am!" You said desperate for his touch over yours.

He pressed his lips on yours and his fingers hooked on your panties, you moaned as you felt his hands close to your clit, he smirks, and pulls away and throws your panties away. You whinned as the cold air hit your clit, and he just smirks

He groans at the sight of it, wet, just like how he liked.

"You made me angry honey, will you be a good girl for me? will you listen to daddy?" He spoke, his voice was low , raspy and sexy. You whinned.

"you have to talk to me, not whine or else you will be punished!" He groans near your ears, as his hands tease you, by simply running his hands over your thighs.

"Yes daddy i'll be good." You spoke.

"That's my girl!" He says before putting your one leg over his shoulder, and you meet his eyes, which were blown with lust. He pressed kisses on yoir thighs and then licked a strip of your clit, you moaned as you felt his tongue, your hands grabbed his soft locks, to which he groaned

He continues to eat you, and your moans were unstoppable, and he would eat you as long as he wants, you were sure it was a longgg night.

"Chris please!" You begged, and he immediately pulled away.

"what did you say honey?"

"Daddy please!" You corrected yourself and he continues, before you know you're already close and he feels you.

"You wanna cum baby?"

"Yes daddy i want to pleasee!" You begged and h smirks.

"Cum baby." As soon as those words leave his mouth you came undone, with a loud moan, but that still didn't stop him. It felt like he was starved, and got his meal after weeks.

"Who's making you feel this good?" As soon as he asked a question you answered immediately, or else you knew what he could do.

"You, daddy only you!"

"That's good baby, you're a good girl, baby!" He said

Just by eating you out he made you cum endless times , to which you've lost the count of.

He pulls away and kissed you, you could taste yourself. His hands made its way to your bra and unclasps it, throws it away to the pile of clothes on the floor. His fingers found its way to your clit and he starts to pump them. Your eyes roll , and he just gets turned on more by that look of yours.

He starts to press kisses on your neck, to your chest , to your everywhere before connecting them again to your lips. Your legs were shaking, and he knew how close you were by just his fingers.

"you wanna cum again baby?" He asked and you unable to talk by the condition you were in with him.

"give me one more i know you can do it." He pleased and then that was it, you came on his fingers, now you were breathing heavily under him, both of your bodies covered with sweat.

He lines himself, and kisses your neck leaving marks, before slowly whispering into your ears,

"Are you ready for me?"

"Y-yes." Just as you gave him the permission, he pushed himself in you, both of you moaning at the feeling of warmth of each other. Your arms around his neck, as your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer.

he starts to move, your legs shaking heavily, as you arched your back. He started pressing kisses all over your chest.

"God! You're so tight!" He groaned, as you gasped, his one hand tangled with yours on the bed.

"only i can make you feel that good, no one else can!am i right?" He spoke, and yes he was right, no one other than him can make you feel this good. He thrusted into you, your whole body numb.

"yes only you."

"that's right, only i can!." He grunted as he felt how close you were , and he knew he was close too.

"daddy i'm close!"

"I know, baby, don't cum until i do." He says, as you feel how slow he has begun, but he didn't stop.

"You're mine, all mine!" He says and cums, followed by you, yours and his forehead resting againsy eachother as both of you heavily breathed.

"I'm all yours." You spoke between gasps, as he kissed your forehead.

He stoods up to go get a wet towel to clean you up, and then later throws it in the laundry basket. Laying next to you, he pulls you closer and you turn to him, facing him as he kissed you softly again and again.

"Was i rough?" He spoke softly, as he looked into your eyes.

"Nope, you were perfect, for me though I don't know about my legs though." You said and both of you giggled , wrapping your arms around his neck

"i was not flirting babe, he was telling me about how much you loved me." you spoke softly, and he looked at you.

"i'm sorry, for yelling at you."

"I'm not mad at you babe, i was just feeling like there's no love between us, i felt how distant we both have became due to time, I couldn't stop thinking about it, and you know I blamed myself for it.

"i can never stop loving you, never in my life! You're the love of my life, i'm sorry i made you feel that way."

"and jealous too!" You said smirking.

"oh really from who?" He asked , pretty boy was confused.

"maybe if you spend more time with me more than Kiara."

"oh damn, well that's okay i can do that. I'm not letting you go." He says and you smile at him.

"That's like a good boy, and im not letting you either." You said and he kissed you.

"I love you so much." He says and you kiss his nose

"I love you too!" You said as both of you slowly drifted to sleep, it was one of your best nights with him, both of you tangled in bed with white sheets covering you both, your arms around him and his arms around you as he pressed small kisses on your forehead before he falls asleep.

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istg I can't write smut 😤😩

this is my first smut (on tumblr lol ) feedbacks are very much appreciated 💙

[fangirlovestuff]

Okay! I had this idea brewing in my mind (but that’s the most my mind is capable of I’ll leave the writing to the professionals). So Carly or Shana (you can decide) are planning on going away for a vacation with their partner but they’re sceptical of leaving the children alone. So they ask Chris if him and reader (who is Chris’ girlfriend and super close to his family) to babysit the kids over the weekend and they accept. Since Chris is busy with ASP reader mostly entertains the kids, helps them with homework and stuff and Chris sees the way she is with them and imagines their future! Please make it fluffy 🥺❤️❤️

A Tale Of Nephews And Princesses - Chris Evans x reader

a/n - @tonystankschild surprise! i got my ask back somehow so i can properly post this!! thank you so much for this lovely ask, I had so much fun writing it! I chose Carly pretty randomly. her children’s names are online, so that was mostly why lol. in my head i imagined it so Miles is the firstborn, then Stella then Ethan but it doesn’t really matter. they’re all pretty small in the fic so like, the oldest is 10 years old? idk, i didn’t really wana do research because i wanted to respect their privacy lol, so i took creative liberty over most of it. also you calling me a professional?🥺 pls omg i am so far from it but tysm!! I hope you enjoy it!!<3

Word Count: 3k (!!! y’all are getting fed hehe)

Warnings: none! just fluffy fluff :)

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"Hey babe?" Chris asked, coming into the living room. His hand was on the telephone, so whoever's on the other side was still on the call.

"Yeah?" you replied from your place on the couch.

"Is it okay if Carly's kids come sleep at ours next weekend? It's Carly's anniversary so they wanna go on a weekend away."

"Yeah, sure," you smiled, "watching them is gonna be no problem. Tell her I said congrats!"

"I will," he smiled. "And well, I have some stuff for A Starting Point I gotta do that weekend. I told you about the interview and –"

"It's okay, I don't mind watching them," you smiled and cut him off. "I'll have someone to keep ne company while you're busy."

"You're the best," he blew you a kiss and you smiled as he got back on the phone with his sister.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're sure it's okay?" Carly asked, ushering her kids through the door of your and Chris' house.

"Yes, we're sure," you smiled at her. "It's no problem at all."

"Besides, even if we weren't, I don't think you'd have any other options right now," Chris smiled at his sister as well. "Go, have fun, we'll all be here when you come back. If anything, you should worry about them not wanting to leave," he smirked.

"Sure," she drawled out with a smile. "Well, if you need anything at all just call me," she told the both of you.

"It's gonna be fine," you laid a hand on her shoulder, smiling. "I could understand why you'd be worried if you left them with this five-year-old," you nudged Chris with your elbow and he rolled his eyes, "but I'm here and I assure you we're gonna have a lot of fun, isn't that right kids?" you smiled at Chris' nephews and niece, who were still standing there with their bags, waiting to say goodbye to their mom.

"Alright," she laughed. "Well, have fun kids! Bye!" she hugged each one of them and went back to her car, where her husband was waiting to go on a weekend away. It was their anniversary, so you and Chris volunteered to watch Miles, Stella and Ethan while they were away for a couple of days.

Before you managed to say anything, you and Chris were bombarded with questions – "Uncle Chris, can we play Mario Kart?" "No! Can we have a princess tea party?" "Can you read me a story?" "Can we eat cookies?" "Where's Dodger?" "Can we play with the cap shield?"

Chris looked at you and you return his amused look with one of your own. "Okay," you said, effectively silencing them as they looked up at you with wide eyes. "We can do all of these things later, but for now we should put your bags up. Dodger's hiding, so maybe after we find him, we can play with him, alright? But bags first," you smiled at them as they immediately sprinted upstairs with their bags, as best as they could carry them.

"Be careful!" you yelled after them and laughed.

"Is Dodger hiding?" Chris frowned at you.

"Of course not. I got him out in the yard before they arrived so he wouldn't tackle them to the ground," you grinned.

"What would I do without you?" he smiled, wrapping his arms around you.

"My guess? Have more sweaters," you chuckled. "But hey, that's why I'm here!" you showed off the sweater you were currently wearing, which was indeed his, making him laugh.

"C'mon, let's go make sure they're not breaking anything," you pecked his lips.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chris was the first one to go outside and play with them and Dodger, while you hung back for a while, cutting up some fruit and getting some juice boxes before stepping outside as well.

"You guys hungry?" you smiled at them when you got out, Dodger immediately running to you and the kids right behind him.

"Yes!" they yelled in unison as you put the plate down on the table before sitting down next to them and Chris.

"Oh, by the way it's 4:15, so you should probably go get ready," you told him. He had an interview for ASP in about 20 minutes, and as much as you'd love for him to stay outside with you, you knew he had to go back inside to his home office.

"Thanks honey," he smiled softly before patting Miles' head and scratching Dodger's ear. "Alright kids, be good while I'm working," he winked at them before disappearing inside.

"Princess auntie?" Stella asked once she finished eating. Your heart melted in your chest at the sound of it, not the princess part of course, since Stella was currently obsessed with Disney and had the habit of calling everyone princes and princesses. No, it was the auntie that tugged at your heartstrings.

You weren't officially a part of the Evans family, well, not yet, you hoped. But their tendency to embrace you as one of their own never failed to make you smile, because there's nothing you'd want to be more.

"Yes, princess Stella?" you smiled at her.

"Can we have a tea party now?"

You chuckled at her request. "Well, I think there's nothing better for a tea party than…" you paused for suspense, "cookies!" at the sound of that all three of them cheered and you laughed. "But you all have to come and help me make them!"

The happy bunch followed you to the kitchen and you let Dodger into the living room on your way so he could rest a little.

"Okay, first of all we all need to wash our hands," you instructed. After a few minutes and some stray drops of water later, you were ready to go.

"Okay, Miles, you can help me measure everything, and Stella can pour it in, and Ethan's gonna stir, sounds good?"

Surprisingly, the kids went with your suggestion without any argument, and you started making the batter.

"Ethan, mix slower, will you?" you contained your laughter once a bit of batter flew out of the bowl and onto Miles' face. "Are you okay Miles?"

You turned to the kid in question to wipe the batter from his face, but you found he already took it on his finger and tasted it. "It's really good," he nodded, and you and you couldn't contain your giggle now.

"I'm glad, but let's try not to eat the cookies until they're ready," you raised your eyebrows at him and he nodded in understanding, although a grin was still on his face so you weren't sure how much he was going to stick to that.

The rest went pretty smoothly, and just as you were dividing your batter and putting the cookies in the baking pan Chris walked in, having just finished his interview.

"Ooooo, what are you guys making?" he smiled.

"Cookies!" Ethan yelled.

"For the tea party!" Stella added.

"But I don't wike tea parties," Miles sulked.

"You don’t have to be in the tea party to eat the cookies," you calmed him down before they'd start fighting.

"Now come on, let's finish up these cookies and then we can go play."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You spent the rest of the afternoon playing board games, the smell of the cookies filling the air as the kids got more and more impatient to have them. Eventually, it was time to take them out, and you tried to slip away unnoticed but unfortunately they noticed and followed you to the kitchen.

"I'm taking out the cookies, but just remember they're very hot and we can't eat them yet, okay?"

You heard a chorus of okays before you opened the oven, the pleasant smell and warmth coming at you in a wave. You grinned and took the cookies out of the oven, warning the kids to stay away from it while you put them on the counter and went to shut off the oven.

After a few minutes you touched the cookies tentatively, and found they were cool enough to give to the kids to taste. They all took a bite and immediately smiled.

"Well? Did we succeed?" you asked with a smile, taking a cookie yourself.

"Yeah!" they all nodded, and ran to the living room, where Chris was still sitting. "Uncle Chris, you have to taste our cookies!" you heard Stella say and smiled, knowing they'd all walk in here in a couple of seconds.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You all ate dinner together, cookies for dessert obviously, and before long it was bedtime. Chris needed to get some more work done, so you were the one to put them to bed. The boys were sleeping in the same room and Stella in another one, but all four of you were currently snuggled together in the boys' room, as you read them all a story.

Stella was on one side of you, her eyelids slightly drooping already. Miles and Ethan were on the other side, and you were half sure Ethan was already asleep. Dodger was at the foot of the bed, seemingly listening as well. You were just reading the last page when Chris walked in, a grin stretching on his face at the sight in front of him.

You smiled back and softly finished the rest of the story, closing the book and putting it down on the bedside table. Carefully getting up, you kissed Miles and Ethan's foreheads goodnight before taking a sleepy Stella into your arms, smiling at Chris on your way out of the room as you carried her to her bed, laying her down and tucking her blanket around her.

"Goodnight princess auntie," she mumbled.

"Goodnight princess Stella," you whispered back and smiled, gently tucking her hair away from her face before getting up. Seeing Chris waiting for you at the doorway, you put your finger to your mouth signaling him to be quiet until you softly shut the door nearly all the way behind you, leaving a small crack so it wouldn't be completely dark and so you could hear her if she needed anything.

"Did you get your work done?" you whispered as you wrapped your arms around Chris' neck.

"Yeah," he whispered back. "You're really good with them, you know that?" he smiled, affection dancing in his eyes.

"They're great kids," you smiled back, pecking his lips softly before drawing away. "C'mon, let's go to bed."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning you awoke to the sound of whispers and padding of feet coming from the hallway. You smiled to yourself before getting away from Chris, whose arms were wrapped tightly around your torso. He stirred when you sat up, mumbling a low "Where are you going?"

"They're awake, but try and get some more sleep, you have a long day today," you whispered back, kissing his cheek before getting out of bed and out of the room, shutting the door behind you.

When they noticed you got up they stopped talking and you smiled at them. "C'mon, let's go downstairs so we won't wake uncle Chris," you whispered.

When you were down you asked them in a low voice, "did you brush your teeth? What do you want for breakfast?"

After they all brushed their teeth, and so did you, you all gathered in the kitchen to make breakfast. You made them some chocolate milk and they drank it while you made something to eat, laying it out of the table and sitting down to eat with them, but not before you put some food aside for Chris.

"What do you wanna do today, huh?" you asked, taking a sip from your mug.

"I have homework," Miles admitted shyly. "Mommy said I was supposed to do them yesterday, but I forgot."

"That's alright, you can do them right now," you ruffled his hair affectionately.

After you were done with breakfast, Miles sat down to do his homework and Stella and Ethan helped you with the dishes. Well, they just handed you the dishes, which you then washed and put in their place, but it kept them occupied long enough.

You were nearly done with the dishes when you felt a tug on the hem of your shirt. "Can you help me?" Miles looked up at you.

"Of course," you smiled. "Stella and Ethan, wait a sec alright? And be careful!"

You walked back to the kitchen table with him, where he showed you the exercise he was struggling with. Just as you were helping him solve it, Chris walked into the kitchen. Thankfully, fully dressed in his everyday clothes, you eye rolled inwardly at your boyfriend's sleeping garments, or lack thereof.

"Hey guys! Did you have breakfast already?" he asked, going to hug Stella and Ethan.

"I left you some," you gestured at the plate on the counter with a smile.

"Thank you," he picked it up and started eating. "What'cha doing there bud?" he asked Miles.

"My homework," he said with a shy grin. "But I'm almost done!"

"Yeah," you smiled. You explained it for him, all the while ignoring Chris' eyes on you. You felt his gaze and smiled, not giving it any attention and helping Miles solve the problem.

"All done!" you high fived him and he cheered.

"Good job!" Chris smiled at the both of you. "I have to do some work, but after I'm done we can go play some more with Dodge, how about that?"

"Yay!" they cheered. He hugged them all and retreated into his office once more. You knew how much he hated not being able to be with them all day while they're here, but he cared about this project a lot, so you were going to make sure everyone had a great time regardless.

"Okay, how about…" you paused to think, "we build a blanket fort! As a surprise for uncle Chris," you smiled at their excited reaction. "But shhh! We have to be very quiet so he won't hear us, because it's a surprise!" knowing Chris needed his focus, you were glad when they nodded their heads. Ethan out a finger to his lips and shushed his siblings, which you giggled at.

"After you," you gestured for them to start walking towards the living room. "The blanket fort isn't going to build itself!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They were quiet, whispering to each other as you draped the blankets you had brought from their bedrooms. The only loud sounds were their laughs, which you really couldn't bring yourself to get mad about.

After nearly an hour, the blanket fort was complete. You all cuddled inside, the kids bringing their dolls as well.

"Can we watch a princess movie?" Stella asked once you had suggested they watch a movie.

"No! I don't wike it!" Miles immediately objected.

"Yeah, no princess!" Ethan joined his brother.

"Okay, how about… Peter Pan?" you asked them. Then, you leaned closer to Stella and whispered in her ear, "Tinkerbell's a fairy! That's almost as good as a princess, right?"

She contemplated it for a moment before nodding her head. You kissed the top of her head and put on the movie. You all settle down, and you cuddled Stella close to you, smiling as Ethan and Miles soon joined.

That was how Chris found you, about an hour later, and his heart swelled in his chest at the sight. His niece and nephews all cuddled up with you, watching a Disney movie. He thought about the ring, safely stowed away deep in his bedside drawer, and smiled softly.

With any luck, soon these might be your own kids you'll cuddle with. The thought filled him with giddiness, but also nerves. He didn't really think you'd say no, but hell – you can never know with these things. All he knew was that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and he was going to ask you if you wanted the same. Soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The end of the day finally arrived, and Carly and her husband were coming to pick up the kids.

"You got everything?" you asked them. They all nodded their heads. "Great! Well, your mom's gonna be here in a few, so how about –"

"But I don't wanna go!" Miles complained.

"Yeah, I wanna stay here!" Ethan exclaimed.

"Princess auntie, pretty please can we stay?" Stella looked up at you.

"I'm sorry guys," you smiled, "But you have school tomorrow. Besides, your mom missed you very much, and I'm sure you missed her too. Don't you miss mommy and daddy?"

"Yes," they admitted.

"C'mon, don't be sad," you grinned at them, "you can always come visit us."

At that moment Dodger decided it was a good time to greet them goodbye, jumping up and trying to lick them. They giggled, and you and Chris exchanged a fond glance over their heads. You heard the car pulling up outside, so you caught onto Dodger and made him stop before Chris opened your door, knowing Carly would be coming to get them.

"Mommy!" they all yelled.

"Hey babies!" she greeted them and pulled them all into a big hug.

Dodger tried to escape your hold and join them, but you caught him before he could tackle them. "Don't be jealous," you playfully chastised him and scratched him behind his ear.

"Hello Dodger," Carly smiled and came to pet him as well. "Okay kids, say goodbye, daddy's waiting for us in the car."

"Bye bye!" said and hugged both you and Chris tightly.

"Bye!" you waved at them once they got out, closing the door gently behind them.

Chris came to wrap his arms around you. "You're amazing."

"So are you," you smiled into his neck.

"No, I'm serious. You were amazing with them," he smiled timidly. "And well, in the future, I…" he trailed off.

"Awwww, you were totally thinking about what if they were our kids, weren't you?" you grinned. "That's so cute!" you teased him.

"Whatever," his cheeks tinted slightly. "I guess you don't wanna hear what I think."

"No, I do!" you objected with a smile.

"I think," he started, "that you're gonna be the best mom ever someday. And I am so lucky to have you."

"And you're gonna be the best dad," you smiled before leaning it to kiss him.

When you broke apart, you smiled. You knew how true your words were, and you couldn't wait until that turned into a reality.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

what’d you think??🥰

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[lovesgonnabe]

Love Is Worth It - Mini Episode I: Happy Mothers Day

Characters: Chris Evans x Maya Alonso-Evans (Black OFC)

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, cursing,daddy kink, fake IG Post.

Word Count: IDK Yet(Soon)

Summary: What happens when there is a surprise on the Horizon?

AN/Disclaimer: There’s only slight edits so there may be errors. Also if you haven’t noticed this series will have many time jump things referenced here may make more sense later on in the series when new episodes come out so please bear with me.

Taglist: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss, @canadian-girl87, @i-just-like-fanfics, @omg-mymelaninisbeautiful​ if you would like to join the taglist let me know.

Please leave a note and tell me what you think!

May 9th, 2021

Boston was moving from chilly too warm with still more cold days than not. Boston at this time was beautiful even The Evans home was littered with flowers. The beginning of 2021 has been eventful for the Evans Family.

Chris's A Starting Point has taken off like no one had expected, doing incredible number in educating a whole generation on one of Chris’s passions politics and the world.

While Maya within the few months has launched her skincare line Lavish Lilah Skin, and has been able to open back up her dermatology offices with the slowing down of the current devastating pandemic.

This Mothers Day for the family of 3 was different but the same at the same time.

Maya's Birthday has just passed, Chris filming schedule will pick up in the Summer and for the last year Delilah has been homeschooled.

With work picking up for the couple May 9th was a beautiful day for the Evans to just relax and be together as a family.

Its 9 am and Maya was sprawled in the middle of their California King Bed as Chris and Delilah were in the downstairs getting Maya's Mothers Day Gift ready.

"Ok Lilah you've got mommy's gifts and I've got the food you ready?" Chris asked with the tray in his hand.

Delilah nodded and they headed up the steps to the master bedroom the 5 year old ran up too the room first leaving Chris in her dust.

"Mom wake up its Mommy Day" Delilah said trying to climb the large bed.

Maya began to stir awake with a smirk on her face when she heard her baby girl struggle to to get up on the bed.

Delilah hooped on the outerman at the front of the bed and climbed to her mom laying up on Chris's said of the bed.

Delilah began to play with Maya's face.

"mommy get up me and daddy have gifs" Delilah said trying to open Maya's eyes with her little fingers.

Maya breaks out into a laugh now completely awake and pulling Delilah into a big hug kissing her all over the face.

When Chris walked in his two favorite girls were both laughing their heads off the sunlight in the room glowed on their golden skin as their smiling faces brought a bright smile to his.

"Are you two having fun without me" Chris asked as he walked to Maya's side of the bed.

Chris lays the tray on the night stand, pecking Maya on the lips mumbling a sweet Happy Mothers Day against her lips as he pulls her into a deeper kiss just enjoying the taste of her sinful lips.

When they pull away Maya moves over to make room for Chris in their large bed.

Delilah and Chris handed over the gifts to Maya, it wasn't a lot just some small things a card made by Maya from her zoom arts class, a mini breakfast in bed and more flowers *like she needed anymore*.

"Sweetheart I told you that you didn't have to do anything for me for Mothers Day especially everything you have done for me recently" Maya said taking sip from her coffee mug.

Chris chuckles thinking about the last few months, and he has been what you would call a rockstar husband.

With the pandemic Chris has been home a lot more he dropped a film he planned to star in and went full throttle on ASP which kept him home a lot making him kind of a stay home dad.

Chris did everything from some cooking to cleaning to school with Delilah. Him staying home was not only for him to do ASP and spend more time with his family but to let Maya work and bring her employess back so she can get her dermotobly practice back to as close to 100% as she can during a pandemic.

Not only that Chris hosted a surprise launch party/brithday party for Maya's new skincare venture in early April that was a small get together with all there closest friends and family (that were vaccinated). Even flying her parents who they haven’t seen in a year out to see them. (who were still in town and staying out in their guest home)

The three were still sitting in bed watching cartoons.

"My love if you thought today would go by and I would not celebrate you then you are out of your mind" Chris said kissing Maya's head.

The last four months have really shown Chris how much he admires Maya because everything he has been doing is what Maya has been doing since Dede was born.

So at least for today Chris was pulling out the red carpet for love of his life, after an hour of just lazying around Chris grabbed a now napping Delilah and told maya that she need to be dressed and ready to leave the house by 1pm which was 2 hours from the current time.

When 1pm hit the Evans and the Alonsos were out of the house and all in Maya's Truck.

They drove the 3 hours to the Alonso Family Estate in Martha's Vineyard and with Maya having absolutely no idea where they were going she grew antsy because unbeknownst to everyone in the car except her mother Maya was now Pregnant with her and Chris's second child and she was afraid she was going to have an accident in the car.

Maya was about 16 weeks how she has hide being pregnant from Chris for that long is a surprise and a miracle on its own.

However she just wanted to wait until she was absolutly sure that she could carry a complete trimester before telling anyone but her mom because her and Chris have tried 5 times after Delilah and has miscarred everytime.

All that faliure takes a toll not only on your body but on your psyche and she didn’t want to keep getting Chris's hopes up to keep failing him.

Even though he has been there through it all to hold her when she cries thinking about it or pick her up from the pool of blood in the middle of the night he was there holding her hand, but the of how many more times will he be able to do this with her still creeps in the back of Maya's mind.

Her mom's reassuring smile kept her calm while Chris and Maya held hands the entire ride up as they rolled up around 5pm to the estate that had multiply cars in the driveway.

When they walked in Maya's Brothers were both there along with Chris's parents, siblings and their kids.

Chris explained to Maya that with the kids out of school they all decided to being summer vacation a bit early.

As the night went on the all talked, laughed, ate good food and enjoyed each others company as one huge blended family.

It was coming up around 7pm it was golden hour outside and Maya knew for some reason it was time to tell Chris.

As Maya walked outside closet to the horses her mom followed.

"May baby cakes its time you can't live in fear forever" handing the ultrasound she kept in her purse and walking back into the house Maya took a deep breath as she sipped on her water and looked at sun hint the vinyard in the most majestic way.

"Maya you ok your mom wanted me to come and check in on you" Chris asked walking next to Maya who bit her lip which she did whenever she was nervous.

"Babe whats wrong" Chris knew something wasn't right the her body langague was and Chris could read his wife.

Maya tightly gripped the ultrasoud and turned toward Chris looking into his ocean blue eyes made her weak at the knees but she needed to focus.

She handed him the photo

"For the last 16 weeks or so I haven't found a way to tell that we are pregant and I guess this is it I am sorry I waited so long" Maya Says.

She smirks trying to keep it light hearted and Chris Smiles not even taking enough time to really process the new information with tears in his eye picking up Maya who squeals as he spins her around.

"I hope you know I knew already” he says putting her down leaving his arms around her waist.

"What do you mean you knew" Maya asked as her eyebrows frowned as she looked up at him.

"You underestimate how well I know your body" Chris says rubbing his hands up and down the curves of her body till her reached her ass giving it a good squeeze.

"Also you definitely did not hide this ultrasound that well so when I did first have hunch you had already confirmed it to me without even knowing it" Chris said.

He gave Maya his trademark smile and kissed his wife like his life depended on it.

"why didn’t you tell me you knew" she asked breaking the sweet embrace of the two lovers.

"the same reason you didn't I know that with you even though I hate it, some times I need to just watch from the sideline before you can put me in coach, but next time please do wait this long" Chris said.

Maya eyebrow raised "who said there will be a next time you better be lucky you are even getting 2 out of me sir" she said.

Chris laughs "thats what your mouth is saying now we will see what it says later when you riding papi's cock" He said kissing her lips even harder as they fought for domanice.

They knew both of there families were inside and thats why they stopped and just stood enjoying each others company.

"lets take a picture babe for memories" Chris said.

They pulled apart and Maya laughed .

"Chris look at you trying to take flicks for the gram" Maya said posing next to her favorite horse.

Chris took the picture and put it on his instagram along with a picture of Maya when she was pregnant with Delilah.

Chris laughed grapped her hand and they walked inside and told everyone the good news.

This will definaly be a Mothers Day they would never forget!

[misscaptainamericana]

thirteen

word count: 5469

content warning: smut, overstimulation, anxiety, negative comments towards appearance (weight and hair), toxic family relationships, drinking

a/n: this hasn't been proofread so i am so sorry for any mistakes

The next day Lisa had agreed to watch Kennedy and Dodger so they could go back to Austin for the next week or two. It was the first of December and Nicole was definitely happy to be out of the cold back in her home in Austin even if it meant without Kennedy running around like he owned the place. Their first stop after getting into her car was to collect decorations from Target. It wasn’t a lot of stuff that she needed but she still wanted to get some of the little figurines and maybe even some garland. After that it was time to stop for food. First stop was Voodoo Doughnuts with the second being Homeslice Pizza for a take home kit.

It took a while to unpack the car but by the time they started decorating the office it was only a little after three that afternoon. Nicole started to play some music from her phone before going through the bags. Chris’s job was to set up the mini trees on the side while she worked on the wall. Hallway through assembling the first tree, he looked over at her with a smile. She was so happy to be hanging up the shiny material doing a little happy dance as she did. He couldn’t wait until they got back to Massachusetts to decorate their house for Christmas. That’s when he caught it. He thought of it as their house, it was no longer his house.

Nicole finished stringing up the tinsel when she noticed he was staring at her, causing her to nervously laugh, “You okay?”

“Hmm?” He asked, snapping out of it before shaking his head with a smile, “Yeah, it just looks great. You were right about the tinsel.”

“Thank you!” She told him with a smile as she scrunched up her nose happily before moving to get the box of Christmas lights out of the box.

“Do you have your videos planned out?"

“Well, I’m thinking I’ll film the first four videos with the Christmas things in the background and then I’ll shift to the white Christmas lights against the normal backdrop for the other four. That way when I come back home I just record one more and then decorate for February.”

“You’re gonna be a really busy bee.”

“I sure am.” She said with a smile before kissing his cheek.

“You still gonna take a break to make dinner with me?”

“Well of course. We decorate, I film one video, we make dinner, wash it all off, record another, we shower and go to bed. I’ll probably film a video a day while we hang out here. Maybe two if you have ASP stuff and I get bored.”

“Okay, sounds good. I should probably check in with Mark and see if we have anything coming up I should be planning for.”

“Or you could just relax, you honestly deserve a little vacation but I know that word really isn’t in your vocabulary.”

He rolled his eyes with a smile before going back to helping her set up.

After an hour and a half of decorating, he retreated into the living room while she started recording her first video. It was difficult for him to figure out how to spend his time, but eventually he pulled out his laptop and began looking into his original plan. He got a text from his mom asking if he had talked to Nicole yet and he realized how much time had passed. He quietly made his way down the hallway hearing her getting out her final thoughts on the case. Leaning up against the door frame, he watched her do the sign off for her video with a smile on his face.

Turning her head she looked over at him with a smile, “Were you just standing out there waiting for me to finish?”

He shook his head with a smile, “No I’ve been out here for a while. I like listening and watching what you do. I just didn’t want you to get nervous with me watching you.”

“I wouldn’t get nervous, I’m just worried you’re going to make commentary or laugh and I’m going to have to edit it all out.” She said with a light laugh, “You ready to make dinner?”

“Yeah, but can I ask you something first?”

Nicole slowly stopped putting her makeup brushes away and raised an eyebrow, “What kind of question?”

“Would you want to go see your parents before we go back to Massachusetts for Christmas?”

Nicole sighed and leaned back in her chair, “I don’t want to but the fact that you’re asking tells me that you want to.”

He nodded with a small smile, “We don’t have to, I know you have a lot of work to do.”

Nicole sighed before picking up her phone and opening the calendar, “Today is Tuesday. I have a nail appointment on Thursday, uhm.. I’d hate for your mom to have to watch Kennedy longer than she has to.”

“No, baby. Don’t worry about that. The dogs are having a great time, she sent me some photos this morning actually. I asked her about this before we left, which is why she is watching the dogs to begin with.”

“So, you wouldn’t mind if we went next week?”

“Whenever you want, I’m open to all of it as long as we’re back in Boston by the twenty-second.”

“Well that would at least give me some time to get these videos done. We could go Wednesday, eh, I don’t want to fly back on Friday the thirteenth.”

“We could stay until Saturday or Sunday.”

“No, no, you don’t want to do that. I promise that you will understand once we get there. See if you can find flights going to Helena on Thursday and leaving on Saturday morning, will that work?”

“Uhm, how about I pull flights up and a calendar and I’ll see what we can do?”

“Okay, I’ll be out in a minute. I'm just gonna shut all this down and I’ll meet you at the dining room table.”

“Sounds like a plan.” They exchanged smiles and she waited until he was further away before letting her face fall.

“Fuck.” She whispered before getting up and stopping the camera recording and ejecting the memory card. She fumbled it around in her fingers with a sigh before placing the card in a plastic case and setting it on her bookshelf. She took her time turning off and unplugging the lights before joining him in the living room. “Uhm, Chris?”

“Yeah, babe?” He asked peering over the laptop to look at her.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Me meeting your parents?” He asked with a small frown and she shook her head with a sigh. Sitting down on the couch next to him, she turned her body to face him and grabbed his hand, “I know how much you value your privacy. My family doesn’t understand what privacy is. They will probably post any and all photos on Facebook, my cousins will likely ask for photos with you and post them on Twitter or Instagram, and we’re going to be flying commercial or at least I assume that’s what’s happening.” Unable to look at him, her gaze shifted to his hands as she started to play with his fingers to ease her anxiety as she spoke, “We’re going to be going to very busy airports, what if someone notices you? Or if they notice me? Do we tell people you’re meeting my family? I don’t know how this works and I don’t want you to get mad at me…”

“Baby, I’m not going to get mad at you.” He sighed before squeezing her hand, “Look at me.”

Nicole reluctantly looked up at him, sulking back into the couch, and he gave her a small smile before he continued, “I can call my flight team and see if I can work something out if you would rather fly private. I just didn’t want to draw attention to myself and us so I thought we could just fly as normal everyday people going to see your family. I didn’t want them to see me as a pretentious, rich asshole. Is that okay?”

“Yeah…What if people post pictures of us?”

“Then they post them.”

Nicole sighed, “Okay, I guess… Did you find a flight?”

“I did! For Thursday morning. We get to sit next to each other, except for the return flight to Boston but I could call the crew and see if they can meet us in Denver to fly us back.”

“I would like that.”

“You sure? You’re looking pouty.”

“Me? No, I’m fine.” She tried to reassure him by giving him a false smile, “Book the tickets, make the call. I’m going to start getting the kitchen ready for pizza shenanigans, okay?”

He joined her roughly ten minutes later, more than excited to finally make this pizza. The time was passed by Chris trying to fancily spin the pizza and with toppings being tossed at each other. They had dinner outside on the patio before the night ended the way their first date did. With Chris carrying her up the stairs and him turning her bedroom into a private utopia.

With every thrust she pushed further back against him until her arms that were holding her up slid forwards. A strained moan escaped her as she fully rested her head against the bed.

“Oh fuck, baby, you look so hot like that.” His hand met her ass in a loud echoing smack causing her to whimper. With a smirk his hand moved down her spine to her waist pinning her further into the mattress as he started to thrust into her harder.

Turning her head to the side Nicole let out a string of expletives before taking a breath, “Chris… I’m-Holy fuck, I’m gonna-“

“Go ahead baby, we’re gonna see how many orgasms I can give you before you turn into a whimpering mess.”

He was relentless. She wasn’t sure what had gotten into him but she wanted him to be happy. And even though she wasn’t enjoying herself at first being lost in her thoughts, she was certainly blissed out now, unable to think straight. How many had she had now? Seven? Eight? She lost count by the time he had flipped her onto her back as her legs became too weak to hold her up to him. With tears streaming down her cheeks and her lips babbling out nonsense, she gasped loudly as he finally released into her. It took a few seconds to compose himself before he slowly slid out of her still quivering core and rested on top of her. Looking over at her, he was almost worried he took things too far. His thumb delicately wiped away her tears before kissing her cheek and settling against her neck. Breathing heavily he still managed to ask, “How you feeling, baby?”

Nicole stumbled over her words for a few moments before they both let out a few breathy laughs. Chris kissed her neck before smiling against it, “Take your time.” He rested his hand on her side allowing his thumb to delicately run back and forth over her hip.

He drank in the moment like a cold glass of water on a hot day. Her body trembling underneath him made him feel exhilarated. Even though he was more than a decade older than her, he still had the tricks and the stamina to give her the sex she deserved. He moved away from hiding in the crook of her neck to fully hovering over again. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead as her breathing started to mellow out.

Nicole opened her eyes into his with a smile, “That was incredible.”

“She speaks.” He said with a big smile, causing her to laugh.

“I don’t think I’ve ever felt like that… That, wow. I mean really, really wow. Can you just, uhm, move down to Austin so we can do that every day because wow.”

“That’s tempting, that’s a good offer. But I will also raise you and Ken moving up to Mass.” He said with a smile before kissing her forehead.

“Hmmm… that’s one hell of a decision isn’t it.” She smiled weakly at him and he knew that she was nearly ready to go to sleep. Chris tucked some hair behind her ear before looking at the clock, “I’m going to go get you your water bottle and meds so you can take them before you go to bed, alright?”

She gave him a tired nod and he kissed her quickly before getting out of bed.

By the time he had come back into the room she was sitting up against the headboard. He gave her a warm smile before walking to her side of the bed, “I would’ve helped you sit up.”

Nicole weakly shook her head before holding her hand out, “I’m okay… What was the number?”

“Hmm?” He asked, gently transferring the pills to her hand before holding the straw lid of the hydro flask out towards her.

“You said you wanted to see how many orgasms it took to turn me into a whimpering mess.”

“Oh, that.” He said with a smile as she took a sip of water before placing the bottle on her nightstand. “I think I lost you at the end of eight but I don’t know if that was a long eight or multiple after eight. I kind of lost it towards the end.”

Nicole looked at him with a small pout, “Did I do good?”

“Do good?”

“Yeah, like is eight a good number? Are you okay with that? Should I build up my-“

“Whoa, hey, back up…” He said before reaching out to grab her hands, “What happened? Did I take it too far?”

She shook her head with a small pout, “I just wanted to make sure you were satisfied with me.”

“Of course I’m satisfied, I’m more than satisfied. I was just thinking that this could be fun for us, trying something new. Overstimulating you. I didn’t know that it would make you anxious.” He told her before kissing her hands and apologizing.

“It’s okay.” She tried to reassure him with a small smile, “Just get into bed and hold me so I can fall asleep.”

He reluctantly got into bed and held onto her gently rubbing her back unsure of what had happened.

He wasn’t sure how long it had taken him to fall asleep but when he finally woke up the next morning, she was still asleep resting on the pillow beside him. His thumb delicately stroked her cheek until she started to wake up.

“Good morning.” He said with a big smile before kissing her.

“Are you watching me sleep?”

“Maybe.” He smiled before he kissed her again before resting the side of his head back on his fist. “Are you some kind of creepy guy that gets off watching women sleep?”

“Only the gorgeous ones.” She smiled with a small huff of laughter. “There she is. There’s my girl… How do you feel?”

“Tired. My thighs are really sore.”

“Oh yeah?” He reached down underneath the sheet and started to gently massage her right thigh. Nicole closed her eyes with a relaxed sigh, “Mmm, thank you.”

He smiled at her relaxed state taking a moment before moving to her other thigh, “I mean how do you feel mentally after last night.”

She immediately tensed up again and opened her eyes, “Oh, uhm, that. Yeah I’m-“

“Nicole.” She nervously bit her lip in response and he sighed. “I just want you to talk to me…Do you want to cuddle in a way where I can’t look at you and you can freely talk?”

“No, we don’t have to, I'm just worried that this was like a test, the same way meeting my family is going to be a test..”

“That’s why you wanted to know if I was satisfied with you?”

She shrugged, “I guess I just wanted to make sure that you love me enough so when you meet my family they won’t make you hate me.”

“That’s what you’re so worked up about? Me falling out of love with you because of your family?”

“I just… they point the negative things out about me, like all of them. And I’m worried that if you start to notice them and you see enough of them you’ll leave. It hasn’t even been a year yet, I thought I would have time. I thought we could build up this great foundation so that when you finally did have to meet my family our love would be strong but this is still delicate.”

“Well, we’ve gone through the long distance part pretty easily. You’ve met the entire family and they love you. You gotta trust me, I have great intuition.”

“No, I have intuition. You have wisdom because you’re so old.”

Chris let out a playful gasp, “Ouch!”

Nicole started to laugh and Chris quickly joined her, “I honestly keep forgetting I’m an old man until someone brings up my age or your age.”

Nicole rubbed his right side with the palm of her right hand, “You’re not an old man. I just like teasing you about it because you get so in your head about it. I’m trying to desensitize you to the topic because trust me, it’s going to be brought up a lot.”

“I turn forty in practically a year Nicole, that’s gonna be pretty hard to do.”

She sighed before moving her hand up to rest on his shoulder, “You may be turning forty but you flirt and fuck like a twenty year old frat boy.”

He let out a chuckle, “is that so?”

“Definitely so. I have even more work to do today since you want to do this spontaneous trip and you fucked the life out of me.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“It’s okay… Can you bring the donuts up here and we can have a cozy breakfast in bed?”

“Of course.” He said with a smile before kissing the top of her head and getting out of bed.

The next week passed in a blur and Nicole would be lying if she said she was completely mentally present at the airport. She had made small talk with some fans and Chris had to stop for some pictures as well, but she was just so nervous. She had anxiously eaten a breakfast sandwich, a bag of pretzels, and two muffins just waiting and through the first flight alone. As they moved through Denver for the layover and she began collecting more snacks, he shared the pretzels with her and found a fun multiplayer game on his ipad they could play together to distract her.

When they finally arrived in Montana, she had gone eerily silent as if she had realized that this was truly happening. After grabbing their bags, they started to walk to the rental car counter and Nicole looked up at him with a small pout, “We can still leave you know.”

He chuckled slightly, “I don’t think that’s a great idea. They already know we’re coming.”

“We could say the flight got delayed and just stay in a hotel or something.”

“Nicki, it’s going to be okay.” He reassured her before beginning to talk to the attendant.

Stepping back after signing all the paperwork he noticed her biting her nails and nudged her lightly, “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m just worried I’m going to mess this up.”

“How would you mess this up?”

“I’m loud, clingy, needy, emotional. Just, in short, I’m an overall mess. My family told me the reason everything in my life fails is because I'm the thing that destroys it. I’m good at hiding it just seeing you a week or so at a time with gaps in between or so because it’s short and not enough time for me to fall apart.”

“I’ll put you back together if you do. Fall apart, I mean.” His hand reached out to her and she grabbed it before rolling her eyes with a smile. “My Prince Charming… My point is that this trip is going to be a lot. I’m going to try really hard to keep it together but if I don’t… I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. If you need to talk, I’m here. Open arms and ears, always.” He kissed her forehead before moving to get the keys from the attendant and walking outside with her.

They made their way up to the dark green house that looked incredibly small next to the set of huge garages around it. Before they could even open the door a short brunette woman came out and quickly hugged Nicole, “I missed you so much!”

Nicole forced a smile and rubbed her back, “I missed you too, Mom. It’s cold, let’s get inside.”

“Okay, okay, fine!” She reluctantly agreed before moving back inside barely waving at Chris who held the door open for her. Once they all got into the living room, Nicole pointed from her mom to Chris. “Mom, this is my boyfriend Chris and Chris this is my mom Laura.”

“Oh, you are so tall!”

Chris laughed while taking off his jacket, “I do my best to eat my vegetables and drink my milk.”

“Oh no, no!” Laura said before he got his jacket off, “Don’t take your jacket off, we are about to take you both out for lunch. Adam is just finishing getting ready.”

“Oh, okay.” He said softly with a smile before putting his jacket back on.

Nicole looked over at him with a forced smile before Laura stepped closer to her and began touching Nicole’s hair and twisting it around her fingers, “Oh, it’s so nice to see you with your hair done. Is this sewn in or a wig?”

“It’s just a wig.”

“Oh, well it looks nice.”

“Thank you. I tried my best.”

Laura turned to face Chris, “Have you seen her without her hair done before? She looks absolutely crazy.”

Chris scrunched up his face slightly a little taken aback, “Uhm, I actually love her natural hair.”

“Really? Even when she hasn’t washed it for a few days and she’s just a big uneven poof ball?”

“Even then, yes.”

Laura let out a steady hum looking him over before speaking, “Is she paying you?”

He let out a hearty laugh, “No, not nothing like that.”

“Are you paying her?”

“No, I just was interviewed by your daughter one day and fell in love with her, all of her.”

“Interview?” Her eyes shifted back to Nicole, “For your silly YouTube things?”

“Yes, mom. For my silly YouTube things.”

“Hmm, I guess you both will have to tell me how that worked out when we get to lunch.” Laura’s eyes studied her daughter’s frame before her face fell into a frown, “I see you’re putting some of the weight back on, that’s disappointing.”

“Well sometimes weight fluctuates, mom.”

Laura gasped, “Are you pregnant?! Is that why you came home out of the blue and brought him with you?!”

“No! Mom! Just, ugh, people can-”

“Nicole! Welcome home!” Adam called out as he made his way down the hall.

“Yeah, hey, Adam. Nice to see you. Where are we going for lunch?”

“Staggering Ox sound good? I know you used to eat there a lot when you lived here.”

“Sure! Me and Chris will meet you guys there!” Nicole turned back to Chris before grabbing his hand and walking out with him.

When they finally got to the sandwich place, he noticed how every sound made by Laura after Nicole spoke measured out differently. levels of disappointment. Upon sitting down together Chris did his best to shift the conversation away from Nicole and do most of the talking about their relationship. Lunch was only ninety minutes long but it felt like nine years. For the next few hours, they sat upstairs in the living room and Chris talked about his upbringing and his career until they were meant to meet her grandparents for dinner. Nicole loved her family, she did, but she was so happy when the dinner was finally over and they were free to go over to Carlos and Robert’s house.

Nicole hugged Carlos tightly before walking into the house, “Please tell me you guys still have that bar in your living room.”

“Oh you know that we do!” Carlos called out with a laugh as she walked past him. Holding his hand out to Chris, they shook hands, “I’m Carlos, her best friend.”

“I’ve heard! I’m Chris, the boyfriend. She talks a lot about you. She calls you her older brother.”

“Does she now? Good to know you consider me old, bitch!”

“Because you are!” Nicole called back to him from the living room.

Carlos rolled his eyes before shutting the door behind Chris, “Me and Robert are just finishing eating dinner, just make yourself comfortable.”

Chris nodded making his way into the living room and sitting down on one of the accent chairs.

“How was dinner?” Robert asked before eating another slice of pizza.

Nicole took a deep breath as she mixed her drink together, “Well, everyone got to chat to each other. I think Chris enjoyed hearing my grandfather’s stories and my grandma thinks he’s handsome. But of course the night ended with that dreaded question of when am I getting married and when are we having kids because I’m getting a little old.”

Carlos and Robert both let out a hefty huff that turned into a laugh. Chris looked from them to her with a smile, “Do you not like that question?”

Carlos started to laugh harder, “At her eighteenth birthday party they began asking her if she had picked a man from the church to marry, at her twenty-first they called her to see if she would be bringing anyone home. It’s the running joke that she is the only grandchild to not get married by twenty-one and how she is upsetting the family tree.”

Nicole raised her glass with an annoyed smirk before taking a drink causing Chris to shake his head with a smile.

“Is your family anything like hers?” Robert asked, causing Chris to quickly shake his head.

“Absolutely not, quite the opposite. Which I guess is why she was so nervous to come back here with me.”

“Do I smell a break up in the near future?” Carlos joked and Chris rolled his eyes with a smile, “No. Not on my end at least… She’s the love of my life.”

Carlos and Robert quickly began fake gagging, causing Nicole to laugh as Chris blushed. Nicole walked over and sat on his lap with a smile, “These are not the ones to be a hopeless romantic around. I swear they get their serotonin from roasting the shit out of me for being one.”

“Noted.” He said before kissing her cheek.

The group of four had a great time playing Mario Party, getting through two full games before Carlos pointed at Nicole. “I have an idea…Have you taken him up to the hill yet?” Carlos asked and Nicole very quickly shook her head.

“Oh no, I wasn’t going t-”

“What’s the hill?” Chris asked intrigued.

“Oh, it’s this giant hill when you drive into town from the east. There’s a pretty big pull off area up there so we would go up there past curfew and park. Sometimes we would just sit in there with ice cream and cry but other times, the important times, we would each pick a song or two and just get out and scream it at the top of our lungs. Get it all out, you know?”

Chris looked over at Nicole with a big smile, “I think we should go.”

“Oh, no, no. It’s way too cold.”

Carlos scoffed, “That never stopped you before bitch!”

Nicole rolled her eyes, “Fine, we all get one song and then we’re going home and going to bed.”

Each couple got into their own cars and made their way up to the hill. When they got to the top of the hill Chris was surprised to see how much room the pull-off actually had. They parked side by side before setting up a playlist. Carlos picked Another Night on Mars by The Maine. Robert picked Sunflower by Post Malone and Swae Lee. Chris wanted to give Nicole two songs so he gave her his pick so she picked My Best Habit by The Maine and Someone To You by Banners. As the songs started three of them proceeded to dance and jump around. Chris was very lazily jumping around by Nicole, mostly taking in how happy and free she looked in that moment. He did get a little worried when she slipped on some ice and fell but she reassured him that she was okay.

As the playlist restarted Nicole said goodbye to her friends and Chris told them how happy he was to meet them. As they got back into the car, Nicole hugged onto his arm, “Thank you for making me come up here, that was fun.”

“It was a lot of fun. How do we get back to the house?”

“Well, you’re going to have to go down the highway a little bit in order to turn around because of the divider.” She said before pulling away from him and buckling up.

He laughed, “We’re getting back on the highway? You sure we aren’t running away?”

“I promise we aren’t running away, haha. Just look out for deer and you’re fine.”

“Okay. Just drive until I see the sign?”

“It’s not far, maybe like ten miles down the road or so.”

He nodded before pulling out onto the road and grabbing onto her thigh.

“And you would just sneak out every so often and do this?”

“Oh please, I could’ve been doing a lot worse things.”

“That’s why it’s so funny, it’s such an innocent thing to do.”

“Well if you pull over once you take the exit I’ll be doing the farthest thing from innocent.”

“Is that an invitation?”

“Find a secret enough place and we’ll see.”

Chris smiled and redirected his attention back to the road ready to find a place. The closer he got to the exit, the higher her hand moved on his leg. Turning off the exit a little too fast, he found a dirt road with no street lights and quickly went down it, pulling over off the side of the road when he was out of sight to any passing traffic. As soon as the keys were out of the ignition, their lips met each other and hands reached to desperately take off their clothes. Nicole let out a squeal as Chris lifted her up and moved her to the backseat before crawling through. He cursed himself for not renting a Suburban so he could have more space to take her in, but the thought never crossed his mind that they would be hooking up on this trip. There were a few interesting positions before Nicole decided to ride with him. The hook-up didn’t last long by any means but it was filled with an immense amount of passion.

She buried her face into his neck, hugging him tightly as the both came down from their highs. He took a deep breath, moving his hands to her rights before looking around at the steamy car. Resting his head against hers, he gave her thighs a little squeeze before moving to wrap around her in a hug. “That was unexpected.” He said quietly but she could still detect the smirk in his tone.

“I just…” She took a deep breath before steadying herself and resting her forehead against his, “I just wanted this one last time in case tomorrow-”

“Whatever happens tomorrow we’re going to be just fine.” He reassured her, tucking some hair behind her ear.

“I love you.”

“I love you too… You’re really that worried for tomorrow?”

“Yes… I don’t feel that great after today either.”

“Yeah… Your mom really doesn’t filter anything she says does she?”

Nicole’s face fell into a small frown which he quickly kissed.

“None of what she says is true…I love you, Nicole. I mean that.”

“I love you too.”

“Are you ready to go back to your mom’s house? We can get a hotel and just say we stayed at-”

“No, we can go back. We’d have to get ready to meet my dad tomorrow morning anyway.”

“Okay…” He said before rubbing her back, “You ready?”

“Shower and cuddle when we get back?”

“Of course.”

(Next Chapter)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Smalltown Bringdown 1

Warnings: blood, violence, more to be added.

This is dark!biker!Bucky and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You live in a smalltown run by a biker club. When your boss gets into debt, you find yourself drawn into the crossfire.

Note: Yesterday I tried writing Sugar, Sugar. That didn’t work out. I had a migraine on Monday that I’m still tiptoeing around. I wrote this a week ago but wanna continue it. Well, if there’s any interest in my doing so. So to those who take the time to read, thank you. Love you guys!

Please, leave some feedback, like and reblog if you can <3

Birch was a small town, named for the line of pale tree at its heart. The streets were built around it. It had stood for centuries like a guardian over residents. Like a harbinger of their eventual fates. White as a ghost, looming like the reaper.

And death lived in Birch. It rode the streets on iron steeds. The apocalyptic horseman roaring down the roads in leather. Oblivion was the bar on the main road.; The Asp was a remnant of the town’s birth. An inn for those who claimed to discover this “new world”. Cleopatra reclined along the sign’s moniker, a snake around her arm, poised to sink its long fangs in her throat. 

Further down was the Chipped Saucer. The British were the first Europeans to settle here and when they supped with the Natives, they found their dishware cracked from their long journey. The tale outlived those early townsfolk painted across the window of sleepy old diner. The history of the forgotten town was long remembered because there, time didn’t seem to move very fast.

The town was more purgatory than hell. Few ever escaped it. You were among the trapped. A waitress in an aged yellow uniform and frilly white apron at the old diner. Sundays were busiest. The older folk were hungry after the weekly service and the younger residents were trying to caffeinate their hangovers.

You did your round of refills and returned the carafe to the machine. You took your time replacing the filter and adding the grounds. The rusted jingle of the bell above the door barely registered in your head. But the decisive stomp of boots did. Not just one set, not two, but more than you could count. You looked up as you closed the lid on the machine.

The diners sat frozen as if in a tableau. Not a single breath was drawn as you watched the leather-coated men walk between the tables. You didn’t need to see the patches on their backs to know who they were. Everyone knew who they were because they owned everything and everyone. The police, the town council, the mayor, and any who called Birch home.

Every small town has its dark secrets but the club had never really been a secret. The Howling Commandos had reigned since the boys returned from the war in 1945. Since, their mantle had been taken up by sons, nephews, cousins. Those glory days loomed as if it were only yesterday that the newspapers declared victory in Europe! Victor in Japan! Korea! Vietnam! Iraq! 

You skirted behind the counter as Lillian, the oldest of the waitresses, stood by the kitchen window. Artie, the cook, neared the other side and gave a grunt at the bikers kicking around the diner. 

“From what I heard,” He said loud enough for them to hear. “They serve hash down at The Asp, don’t they?”

“Artie,” Lillian hissed under her breath as she touched her immense bosom.

The diners, the servers, the bus boys, all exhaled in communal dismay. Mr. Elrich watched as Danny, the boy he’d once taught, took his mug of coffee and emptied it in a single gulp.

“Where’s Jimmy?” A golden-haired man stepped forward. 

You knew him. Knew of him. He had been a few years ahead of you in school. He was held back and sat beside you in math and copied off your tests. Steve Rogers was too much trouble for a browner like you.

“Jimmy’s out,” Artie waved his spatula. “Can’t you see these people are tryna enjoy their breakfast?”

“Jimmy’s out,” Steve repeated slowly as he neared the counter. “Well, that’s a first. I always thought he slept off his Saturday nights in his office. Least I always found him half-asleep at his desk. Definitely wasn’t working.”

“You come back later when he’s in,” Artie shook his head. “Goddamn, boy, my eggs are burning.”

“Artie,” Lillian and several other waitresses wailed at him.

“How long you worked here, Art?” Steve was close. You could smell the leather and smoke as he passed you. His hand was on the door as he glared at Art through the window.

“Be thirty years, soon enough,” Artie answered defiantly. “Since you were a kid tossing your pancakes at the wall, you brat.”

Steve chuckled and pushed through the door. Several women screamed and men shushed them at the flurry that followed. The crash of pans as Steve grabbed the old man by his collar and pushed him against the window. You stepped through the door before it swung shut.

“Don’t.” You pleaded. “Don’t hurt him. Jimmy’s not here. None of us have seen him since yesterday.”

“Oh yeah?” Steve shrugged you away. “Loyalty is admirable. The man pays your check, so I understand your insistence on protecting him. I only wish he was as diligent in paying his dues.”

“St-stop,” You squealed as he his hand wrapped around Artie’s thick throat. “Goddamnit, you know Artie. You know he means no harm.”

“I know he’s always had a mean mouth,” Steve snarled. “Where’s that spatula now, hmm? You gonna give me a swat, Art?”

You looked around. The waitresses gaped through the window as the men loomed around the tables. Amused, they crossed their arms and watched the helpless old cook struggle. On the long steel table behind Steve was a large knife. Your heart pounded as you inched around him.

“Steve, come on, you can wait around for Jimmy,” You offered. “I’m sure he’ll be in. Hell, you’ll have more luck heading down to his. I’m sure he’s sleeping it off there.”

“I came here to get the money and I’m not leaving without it.” Steve snarled. 

You bent slowly and took the knife, careful not to drag the blade on the floor. You stood and came around Steve. He glanced over as you pointed it at his neck. He chuckled as his eyes flashed.

“You don’t wanna do that, girl,” He warned.

“I don’t so long as you let him go,” You declared. “You go sit down, we’ll get you coffee, Art will cook you some bacon, and we’ll wait for Jimmy.”

“Don’t think I will.” Steve squeezed tighter as Artie turned red.

“Oh yeah?” You touched his neck with the blade’s edge. “You want Jimmy, no one’s keeping you from him but we can’t help you if you throttle poor Artie.”

A chuckle came from behind you. Deep and venomous. You looked slowly over your shoulder as the back door whisked shut. The knife slipped from your hand as you were faced with the barrel of a gun. The metal clattered to the tile as you dropped your arms and stared at the pistol’s mouth.

“You grew some balls since grade school,” Bucky remarked. 

Him and Steve had always been inseparable. You should’ve known he wasn’t far. And as the main shareholder in the Asp and therefore the club, he was owed more than any. It would be a mark on the crest not to collect the debt himself.

“Wish I could say the same of you,” You retorted. “So, you gonna shoot me?”

He laughed again and Steve did too. “Let the man go,” Bucky said. “There’s a safe in the office. If there’s not enough in there, we’ll empty the till.”

He lowered the gun. Slowly as if taunting you. You turned to check on Artie as he leaned heavily on the wall. Steve headed for the door to the back hall where Jimmy’s office was. 

“You okay?” You helped Artie stand straight. “You need some water. You should sit down. I’ll get Billy to finish service.”

“You are going to go out there,” Bucky said as he holstered his gun. “With the rest of the girls and stay away from sharp objects.” He grabbed your arm and dragged you to the door. “Artie, you get back to your tickets. These people look hungry.”

He shoved you through to the dining room and you stumbled into the counter. Artie coughed and wiped his sweaty hands on his apron. He waved at Billy, his sous chef, and ambled back to the grill.

It was a few minutes of tense silence filled only with the sound of pots, pans, and plates. As Artie called out an order and Lillian loaded her tray, Steve emerged from the back. Donny stood at the front door and kept any from leaving. Not than anyone had the strength or courage to even stand up.

“I don’t think we’re getting that thing open.” Steve said. 

“Hey!” Donny shouted and the door chimed as he pulled it open. 

Everyone watched as he raced out and chased Jimmy past the window. The small, greasy-haired man put up little fight against the burly biker and was dragged inside. 

“There you are, Jim,” Bucky swung the door open and brushed past you. “We were starting to get impatient.”

“Bucky,” Jimmy’s voice cracked. “What are you--”

“Jim, let’s not play this game,” Bucky snapped. “I think you know I haven’t brought everyone here for breakfast so why don’t you help us crack the code and we’ll be on our way.”

“Crack the code?” Jimmy whimpered.

“We found the safe,” Bucky crossed his arms. “So, you open it up and we’re on our way. I only came for what’s mine. For what you owe me.”

“I-I-I--” Jimmy stuttered.

“Grab him,” Bucky ordered and Steve was quick to grab the thin man by his scruff and drag him across the diner.

Bucky led the way into the kitchen and the weak struggle could be heard as they disappeared through the back door. Artie called another order and Kimmie balanced it on her tray. When the three men returned, Jimmy had a bloody lip and Steve carried a black bag of what could only be the safe’s contents.

“Well, you see, we still got a problem here, Jimmy.” Bucky hauled him over to the window by his arm. “That’s not even close to what you owe and you’ve got late fees on top of it. Dodging me all week like this.”

Jimmy looked ready to cry as Bucky took his hand and slammed hit flat on the window’s ledge. He held his wrist down as he reached to his waist. “Check the register.” Bucky ordered.

Steve went to the till and hit every button until it opened. He emptied the drawer and shook his head. “Not even a hundred.” He scoffed.

“Pity,” Bucky pulled a knife from his belt. “Well then, Jim, there’s only one thing for you to do; pick a finger.”

“Wha--” Jimmy yelped. “What do you--”

“You pick a finger or I will find something worse to cut off.” Bucky lowered the blade and Jimmy flinched away.

“Please,” Jimmy begged. “I’ll get the money. End of the week, I promise.”

“You said that last week,” Bucky countered. “And I can’t gamble my integrity as lightly as you do, Jim. So hurry up or I’ll make you pick two.”

“Uh…” Jimmy quaked and went pale. ‘Th-the pinkie.”

Bucky was quick. The knife cut easily through flesh and bone and blood pooled beneath Jimmy’s hand in second. You covered your mouth as your stomach flipped and several people wretched, some followed by sloppy splats onto the floor. 

Bucky held up the finger and admired it before he tucked it into his pocket and patted Jimmy on the back. “One week for the rest of it, Jim.” He strode through the door and stopped just beside the counter. He turned to you and smirked as he took the cloth from your apron pocket. “Get some pressure on that before he passes out, will ya?”

He handed you the cloth and winked. He nodded to his men and they filed out the door without another word. You blinked and shook yourself from your shock. You pushed through the kitchen door and grabbed Jimmy’s hand as he held his wrist. You pushed the rag to his severed pinkie and he hissed.

“Someone call an ambulance,” Your voice seemed to break the pall that had fallen over the diner. “Please!”

💀

By Tuesday, it was as if nothing had ever happened at the Chipped Saucer. The usual customers stopped by for their breakfast or lunch and Artie was back to his grumpy ways. The only thing that remained was the blood stain on the window ledge. And the bandage on Jimmy’s hand.

When you were done your shift, you hung your apron on its hook in the back and clipped your name tag on it. You covered up your hideous yellow dress with your black cardigan and grabbed your purse before you headed out. Your mother texted you to grab some cheese on your way home and a sixer of Blue for good measure. 

You stopped by the grocer first and added a box of oreos to your bill. The liquor store was just next door and the after work crowd strolled its aisles. You traipsed to the back, the paper bag balanced against your hip as you browsed the cans and bottles. You grabbed some Blue and turned to head to the check out. You were the only person left in the aisle, well aside from one. Likely the reason for the sudden desolation.

Bucky Barnes stood before you in his leather jacket. You hadn’t noticed him there at the end of the shelf, watching you, arms crossed. You sighed and walked towards him, deliberately sidestepping him. You stopped short as he blocked you with his arm.

“Not even a hello?” He mused.

You scoffed and shook your head and stepped to the other side. He blocked you just as quickly. You tilted your head wryly and he smiled. 

“What do you want?”

“To talk.” He said evenly.

“Mmhmm,” You rolled your eyes. “Forgive me if I’m not up for it.”

You tried to shake him again and he caught you around your waist. “Honey, honey, honey.” 

You wriggled away from him and almost dropped your armful. 

“You had a gun in my face two days ago. I have nothing to say to you.”

“You had a knife to my man’s throat.” He said. “Think we’re even.”

“Just say whatever it is you want so that I can go home.” You grumbled.

“How you like working over there at the Saucer?”

“What?” You shook your head.

“Seems slow. Tips any good?”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business.” You challenged.

“Well, we got an opening at The Asp and you’ve got experience serving.” He shrugged. “Figured I’d put that out there. Not many ways to move up in this town.”

“I don’t wanna work at a dive.” You said through your teeth. “You done?”

“Sure.” He backed up and turned so he was almost against the shelf. He waved you past him. “Go home. Relax.” You began to step by him and he spoke again. “Say hi to your ma.”

You stopped but didn’t look back at him. You swallowed and carried your sixer to the counter. You set it down and dug for your wallet with one hand. 

“It’s been covered.” Larry said as he scratched his thick mustache and glanced at Bucky. The biker pretended to peruse the white wines.

“No, it hasn’t.” You slammed a bill on the cans. “You give him his money back. Or keep it. I couldn’t care less.”

You waited for your change and grabbed the beer. You kept your head high as you swept out onto the street and past the motorcycle parked across two spots. You’d have to barter a can off your mom when you got in.

💀

On Friday, Jimmy called you to his office. He never called anyone to his office. Well except Kimmie but that’s because everyone knew what was going on between them. So you punched out and headed to the small back room with the dented metal desk from the 60s and the cinder block wall poorly disguised with flowery wallpaper. You knocked then entered when he replied.

You sat in the small chair with the orange cushion. The same one you’d sat your interview in. Jimmy spun his pen in his hand. He was jumpy. More than usual. The small safe hidden beside his filing cabinet was scratched but still in tact. He dropped the pen and twined his fingers together.

“So, uh, yeah,” He blinked and sniffed. “Well, this isn’t… easy. Not quite sure how to say it really.”

You were quiet. Confused. You scrunched your lips and listened. You had a bad feeling. Unusual things didn’t happen for no reason. Not in a small town.

“Heh, well, I’m sure you know I’ve come into some financial hardship and, well, it looks like...uh,” He sat back and smoothed his greasy, thinnng hair. “I’m gonna have to let you… go.”

“Let me go?” You repeated. “You’re not serious, are you?”

“I need the, uh, cash,” He turned back and forth in his chair. He was nervous.

“Cash. Sure. You couldn’t sell that heap of junk parked outside?” You sneered. “I have no doubt this has something to do with those goons but I don’t think you’re being honest about the why.”

“Look, I’m real sorry. You’ll get severance.” He sputtered.

“You can’t afford to keep me on but you can afford the pay out?” You scoffed and stood. “Let me ask you, have you received any other visits from your friends at The Asp?”

He shook his head frantically.

“Yeah, you haven’t been around Larry’s to grab a mickey at all? Or passing by? Maybe Tuesday night?”

“It’s a small town. I got nowhere to hide.” He cowered.

“Suppose there’s nothing else to say. Nothing I can say.” You threw up those hands. “You tell Bucky you were a good boy, okay?”

“I…”

“I get it. You owe them.” You started to turn away. “When should I expect my cheque.”

“Usual,” He answered glumly. “I really am sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah,” You stopped by the door. “You remember how sorry you are the next time you pick up a cue, eh.”

💀

Another trip to the liquor store, this one unimpeded. A bottle of wine from some unheard of vineyard on some distant island. You carried it home in the bag, its shape visible beneath the wrinkled paper. You went in the back way, as you always did. Your mother’s dog, Ash, wiggled his bum as you stopped to pet him. You let him inside as you entered the kitchen.

Your mother was at the counter, working on dinner. You set the bottle on the table heavily and sat. You let your purse fall to the floor and sighed.

“Hey, hon,” She said. “How was your day?”

You grumbled and unsheathed the bottle. You crumpled the bag and tossed it in the middle of the table. You unscrewed the lid and drank from the long neck. Your mom stopped her chopping and turned with a hand on her hip.

“Rough one?” She asked.

“I got fired.” You said numbly.

“Fired? For what?”

You shrugged and took another drink. She huffed and set aside her knife. You listened as she opened and closed a cupboard and crossed to you. She set down a glass. 

“Pace yourself.” She reproached.

You frowned and filled the glass to the rim. She tutted and went back to the counter. 

“It’s because of them.” You said at last.

She looked at you but kept quiet. She knew who you meant.

“Some kind of game.” You muttered.

“Oh, Lillian told me about your heroics.” Your mother sighed. “I knew you weren’t telling me something.”

“Christ, ma, they were gonna give Artie a heart attack,” You exclaimed. “What was I supposed to do? He’s a defenseless old man.”

“And? The Commandos are thugs. They have no qualms against old men and young women.” She dumped her cutting board in the pot and covered it. “Losing your job is nothing. You could’ve lost a lot more messing around. You know how things work.”

“Not as well as you, yeah?” You drank deeply. “Dad learned it the hard way, didn’t he?”

“That he did,” She assured you and took a glass of her own from the cupboard. She sat with you at the table. “You’ll find something else. Something better than the diner. That little tourism place, they need a new receptionist.”

“Great, I’ll get my resume printed tomorrow.” You poured her a more modest glass. “It’s a show. Don’t worry, ma. They just want to wave their-- well, you know.”

“You just stay clear of them. Let them find bigger fish to fry,” She advised. 

[unnuevosoltransformalarealidad]

Dino Party

Title: Dino Party Summary: You and your boyfriend are invited to your nephew’s birthday party. Your boyfriend Chris, realizes something he didn’t know had missing. Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader Prompt: — Warnings: Major fluff, little kids Word Count: 1422

A/N: Today is my Godson’s birthday. I got inspired to write this. it was supossed to be out on October 9th, but well, life happens and ended up posting it later. The names I used for the reader’s relatives are invented. Enjoy your reading!

“You are invited to Luca’s birthday!” That’s how the text started. Your brother’s son, your Godson, is turning 3 on Friday, and of course, your sister-in-law is going to celebrate it. You weren’t going to miss it, by any chance, but the thing is that you didn’t know if your boyfriend wanted to go too.

Your family was aware of who your boyfriend is, and they also knew that because of how tight his schedule can be it can be difficult for him to attend to these kinds of events. You were staring at the window thinking when he entered after being playing outside with Dodger. -Hey babe! Is everything alright? — he asked you when he saw that you had your phone in your hands -Yeah, sorry -you said and he sat next to you — look — you handed him your phone -This Friday? — he asked surprised — already? — you nodded -If you want, you can stay -No babe. You know I would love to go -Yeah, I know. But you have been very busy with ASP that I thought— -No babe — he interrupted you — I will go. Besides, it’s been a while since I’ve had the chance to spend some time with your family.  -Are you sure? -Yes, doll. I’m sure — he said and then he gave you a quick kiss. -“We’ll be there! Yes, both of us. Love you!” you texted to your brother. Friday came in a blink of an eye. You were excited to see your family again. Between Chris’s work, your work, and school it was practically impossible to see them often. And, your anxiety was starting to show, not because Chris was going but because Luca was in that moment where he didn’t want to be around people he didn’t know or wasn’t used to see, so it was a mystery to see how he was going to react when he sees both of you. The drive to your house was in comfortable silence with Chris holding your hand. He knew how nervous you get every time you visit your family. -Calm down babe, everything is gonna be fine -I know, it’s just… -Don’t worry about Luca, if he doesn’t want me around, I’m not going to bother him -But, what if… -Babe, just relax and enjoy the day with your family, please -Ok. I’ll try -Take a deep breath for me — he asked you and you imitated him -Better? -No — you said honestly and start laughing Chris never let go of your hand, and the rest of the drive went fine. -Auntieeeee! -Your older nephew, Kevin, screamed when he saw you. He runs to hugged you -Hey son! Look how big you are! -you said returning the hug -Hey champ! -Chris said -Hi uncle Cap! I’ve missed you -he said and hugged him as well -I’ve missed you too buddy -Kev, where are your mum and grandmas? -I asked -They are outside with Luca. Dad, Grandpa, and Uncle Brad went to buy more drinks -he explains -More drinks? — I asked and he nods — We are going outside to say hi -I say to Kevin but he is not listening anymore While we walked between the rooms to go outside, I noticed all the decorations that my sister-in-law made. It was like Jurassic Park, dinosaurs everywhere. -I wonder where did they get all these — Chris says -They didn’t get it anywhere. They are hand made. Mary did it -You kidding right? -Nope -Wow! Once we were outside I saw that my mom was playing with Luca, and my grandma and sister-in-law were talking and watching Luca -Hi everyone! -I said and Chris squeezed my hand to assure me everything was going to be fine -Abiiii — Luca came running and hugged me. His eyes went instantly to Chris -Hi buddy! — Chris said.  I looked at my mom and then at Luca not knowing what was going to happen -Say hi to your uncle — your mom said -Abi! -Luca said and hugged Chris, all of us were surprised -Happy birthday — Chris said handing him the gift -Hi mom — I said and hugged her. In no time, Luca was dragging me to the mountain of toys he was playing with — Talk later mom You didn’t have time to talk to your mom or spend some little time with your boyfriend. Luca didn’t want to share you with anyone. If you were talking, he would interrupt the talk or he would take you to another place to be alone, if you were distracted, he would call you every time, that day you were his. Chris was with your dad and siblings, probably talking about work, ASP, our relationship, everything. But you notice he was looking at you in a way you’ve never seen it. He was looking at you as his life depends on it; as if you were a masterpiece. A few hours later and a ton of running and watching videos, Luca finally fell asleep in your arms. -Tired? — Chris sat next to you with a glass of juice -Mhmm… But I would do anything for this happening again, I enjoyed it — you said placing your head in his shoulder -You are happy, aren’t you? -Very, and I’m sorry -What for? -For not being with you -Honey, don’t apologize -he said pulling a hair out of your face — I would do anything just to see you smile the way you were smiling while you played with Luca. Besides, I told you I wanted to spend some time with your family. -I know, but I wanted to be with you too -Well, we are together now — he kissed your forehead You stayed a little more and then decided to call it a night. It wasn’t a long drive home, but it was getting late and you were really tired. You said your goodbyes to everyone promising to come back sooner. -What are you thinking? -You asked interrupting Chris’s thoughts -What? -I can hear you thinking babe, what is it? -Look, I know we haven’t talked about this yet -he said unsure -Babe, we’ve been together for almost three years, you can tell me — you said squeezing his hand -Well, today I realize something — he said -What was that? You finally realized that my family is crazy? -you said giggling, Chris too. -No, I don’t think they are crazy, doll. I think they love you too much, that’s why they are like that with you. But your brother Brad said something to me today -What did he say to you? — You said a little louder than intended -Nothing bad, don’t worry. Anyways, he mentioned that I was looking at you with desire while you were playing with Luca -Desire? Of what? -you were confused -Of becoming a parent -Oh -you were surprised -Look, babe, I know, we haven’t talked about marriage and kids, but seeing you today with Luca, the way you are with him, made me fall more in love than I already was. You know that I have a soft spot for kids and that your nephews are everything to me, but I’ve never realized until today that I desire to become a dad. -I don’t know baby, I’m like that the same way I was when Kevin was born, maybe I’m a little more involved with Luca but that’s only because I’m older than when Kevin was born. I mean, we haven’t talked about kids but-- -I want to become a dad with you by my side Y/N -he interrupted you -I would like you to let me finish talking babe — you sighed -Sorry hun, what were you going to say? -I was going to say, that I would like to become a mom too, with you by my side Chris. -Really? -Yes, but, don’t rush it. We still have time. -I won’t, I promise. I’m just glad that you want a start a family with me -Chris said hugging tightly He didn’t know that you wanted a family with him since the day you started dating. Being a mom wasn’t the dream of your life, but when you started dating him, that change in you. A new chapter will start now that you’ve talked about moving a step forward in the relationship, and you were ready to rock it only if Chris is next to you to do it.

Tag List (Let me know if you want to be part of) (I added some Chris's Lovers)

@iguessweallcrazyithinktho @mrspeacem1nusone @thevelvetseries @void-hoechlin @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho @donutloverxo @stargazingfangirl18 @captainchrisbaby

[songtoyou]

Chapter Eight: Be Still

Would You Call That Love

Pairing: Chris Evans x Raina Morrison (OC)

Rating: PG to PG-13 (Might be 18+ for some chapters)

Story Summary: There was always that one person Chris Evans tended to turn to when he was not in a committed relationship, Raina Morrison. He could confide in her about things going on in his life that he did not feel comfortable talking to his family or close friends about. Chris and Raina were able to establish a way to openly communicate with one another, but also being respectful of the other’s time and needs. It was the only constant “relationship” he had, but without all the nonsense of trying to build a life together. A “friends with benefits” situation. However, what happens when Chris starts rethinking his “relationship” with Raina and if either are willing to pursue something more?

Chapter Summary: Raina and Chris are having trouble dealing with their time apart. Long-distance relationships suck.

Chapter Rating: PG

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,258

Author’s Note: I was having trouble with this chapter. I had to end up rewriting it because I was not feeling the first draft. 

Italics represent flashback conversations.

Sadly, I do not know Chris Evans or anyone in his family, and this is just a fictional take on his life. I do not permit this fic to be reposted on other platforms.  

Tag List: @patzammit​

Three months. That is how long Raina and Chris had been apart. She continued to star in the Broadway version of Moulin Rouge as Satine. Shows were constantly selling out. Reviews were acclaimed. Unfortunately, Raina was feeling bored. The same routine was beginning to annoy her. She didn't like that there was no room to change things up. Being in a Broadway show was vastly different from her concerts. Raina knew it would be.

Jerry had warned Raina that Broadway was a whole different ballgame than what she was used to or experienced. "You won't be able to change or add things from show to show. It is more rigorous than what you are used to, kid," Raina remembered Jerry telling her one day before she accepted the role. 

Raina wanted a challenge. She wanted to do something different. There were times where Raina felt stagnant in her career. Plus, Raina was now considered an aging pop star, so she had to begin the process of branching out into different fields of entertainment. 

"You should do the voice," Jerry would always suggest, which Raina repetitively turned down. It wasn't that Raina looked down on voice competition shows. She didn't want to open that door to be on television every week for months on end. She was a performer, not a judge.

Again, three months. Three months since Raina had physically seen her boyfriend. They talked on the phone and skyped regularly, but it was not the same as being in the same room. She missed Chris terribly. And he missed her.

Chris had been pretty busy himself, first having to take Dodger back to Boston before getting ready to go to Toronto. With Raina's busy schedule, she would not have been able to take care of the canine. For a week and a half, Chris would attend the Toronto Film Festival to promote the movie Knives Out. Raina wished she could have gone with him. Chris wished she could have gone with him. 

After the film festival, Chris didn't have much downtime. He rushed into working on A Starting Point with Mark to outline the website and coordinate interviews with politicians. 

Raina made it a point to steer clear of conversations about ASP. Truthfully, she didn't find the idea appealing or exciting. Yes, Americans needed to be informed about certain aspects of politics and important issues. But many outlets already offered what Chris and Mark were trying to do. She asked Chris one time what made ASP different from the others. She was surprised that he wasn't quite able to come up with a sufficient answer. Raina knew Chris meant well. 

"Chris," she spoke up one day before he left the City, "You know I will never bullshit you, and I won't ever blow smoke up your ass. That has never been the kind of friendship we had. Nor is it how we want our intimate relationship to go."

He looked at Raina and told her to go on. "Sometimes, I have noticed, is that you tend not to be able to look outside of your privilege, Chris. You know what I am saying?"

Chris turned to his girlfriend. He was confused about where she was getting at. "No. What are you saying?"

Raina sighed. She could tell Chris was on the verge of getting defensive. "Nothing," she said, throwing her hands up in defeat. "Look, let's no…argue about…stupid stuff, okay." Raina pleaded and walked up to Chris to put her arms around him.

He reciprocated by doing the same. Leaning in, Chris captured Raina's lips. "I don't want to argue either. Especially not before I have to leave," he whispered in her ear.

There would times when Raina would look back on that exchange between her and Chris. She felt weird about how Chris became so defensive. Yeah, she could have worded things better; however, why should she? 

Truthfully, Chris was a privileged white male. If he took the time to recognize his privileges, it would make him a better ally to those who represent underprivileged groups. Raina was worried about any possible backlash Chris could face with a project like AS, which was not what she wanted for him. She understood that this was a passion project for Chris and Mark as well. Raina only wanted Chris to make sure that everything was in order and that nothing would be thrown at him unexpectedly. She knew Chris wasn't able to take criticism very well, even when it was constructive, mainly when it came to projects he was enthusiastic about; she understood as she was the same way.

With their time apart, Chris had to miss her birthday, October 19. Chris made sure to send Raina an enormous flower arrangement he could find, along with an array of goodies from Dylan's Candy Bar store. Chris knew the gifts would something Raina would appreciate. However, he still felt guilty that he was not with her to celebrate her birthday in person.

"Hey, birthday girl," Chris greeted Raina through skype on the day of her birthday. He laughed when he saw that she was holding the cupcake pillow he got her.

"I love it!" she exclaimed happily. "And I love my three-tier candy cake. I can't believe you got me that," Raina pointed out as she adjusted the laptop camera to show Chris the candy cake. "I won't be able to eat all of that."

"Yeah, you will," he laughed.

"I miss you," Raina said to Chris. "I didn't think being away from you would be this hard."

Chris sighed, "I miss you, too, sweetheart. But we'll see each other for Christmas, right?"

"Yes, of course. I made sure to schedule that time off. I still plan to come up to Concord for Christmas. My dad has already made plans with Diane for not only Christmas but Thanksgiving as well. So he is taken care of," Raina revealed. "Speaking of Thanksgiving, what are you doing?"

Shifting in his seat, Chris shared that he would spend it in Concord with his family. He noticed the slight disappointment on Raina's face and shift in her demeanor. "You don't want to come here and spend the holiday with me?" she asked solemnly. She didn't want to press on the issue but wanted to hear Chris's reason. 

Raina understood that Chris always liked to spend the holidays with his family, but deep down, she hoped he would change it up this year. "It's just been two and a half months since we saw each other," Raina began but stopped. The last thing she wanted to do was to make Chris feel guilty. "Do you have any time off before then?"

"Like you, I'm completely booked up until Christmas. Mark and I are still working on the website for A Starting Point for the rest of October, then when November comes around, it is all press for Knives Out and premiers. Trust me; I would rather be with you than have to do press junkets or walk red carpets," Chris acknowledged.

Raina grabbed a piece of candy from her three-tier candy cake. She just sat back in her chair, not looking at the computer screen. Raina focused on the candy. She didn't want to look at Chris because if she did, tears would begin to form. For some reason, missing Chris and wanting to be with him felt like the equivalent of homesickness. It was a feeling she had never experienced when it came to another human being. Even when she was a teenager touring across the world, she never felt homesick. Her relationship with Chris brought along a whole new set of feelings for Raina, and part of it scared her. 

She suddenly asked herself, 'Am I becoming too dependent on Chris?' The last thing Raina wanted to be, was co-dependent.

Raina shook her head and sat up in her chair. She looked at Chris and smiled. "I'm sorry. I know you're busy. I don't mean to pressure you or make you feel bad."

The two continued to talk a bit longer until Chris noticed Raina yawning. "Okay, sweetheart, I will let you get to bed."

"No, I can still talk. It's early," Raina whined like a child.

"It's a quarter after eleven, and that is now your fourth yawn in the last fifteen minutes," he pointed out. "You need to get to bed."

Raina sighed, "Alright, boss. I'll get to bed. Talk to you later or when either one of us is available. Bye, honey. Love you."

"Love you, too. Bye."

Thanksgiving rolled around faster than Chris expected. Time flies when one is busy. He continued to talk to Raina via phone or skype. However, Chris was also beginning to get frustrated at their time apart. Currently, he was home, sitting in his living room with his brother and brother-in-law, watching a football game between the Buffalo Bills and Dallas Cowboys while his mom and sisters prepared dinner. Lisa would poke her head from the kitchen, asking the boys for help from time to time. His niece and nephew were running around playing with Dodger, who appeared to love the attention. 

It was almost perfect, except one person was missing. Raina. He called her earlier that day. She shared that she was celebrating Thanksgiving, Chandler Bing style, with some of the Moulin Rouge cast. 

"What the Hell is Thanksgiving, Chandler Bing style?" Chris asked, confused. 

"Damnit, watch friends, Christopher," Raina scolded teasingly. "Chandler Bing doesn't celebrate Thanksgiving. Because that was the day his parents told him that they were getting divorced. So, instead of all the turkey fixings and stuffing, we have grilled cheese sandwiches, tomato soup, and a family-size bag of Funyuns as an appetizer. We have lots of booze, so don't worry. Oh, and pumpkin cheesecake. Good times, right."

Chris only laughed. "You're living the dream. I don't think what Ma is making could compare."

"Just be sure to tell her to make her spaghetti for Christmas dinner. Or at least make a small pot of it just for me, okay."

"She's planning to, so don't worry. What are you watching? I hear gunfire," Chris enquired.

"I'm watching my husband, Tommy Shelby, shoot at the Italians," Raina informed as she watched Peaky Blinders. "I love Tommy Shelby. I tell you, Chris, if Tommy Shelby showed up at my door asking me to marry him, I would most likely say yes."

"Is that so."

"In a heartbeat. Sorry, hon, but Tommy Shelby, the things I would let him do to..."

"Thank God he is a fictional character," Chris interrupted. 

"Not in my dreams he isn't," Raina taunted.

"Okay, I'm hanging up now."

"Alright, I'll stop lusting after my fictional husband while I'm on the phone with you," said Raina and switched topics.

The two continued to talk until Chris was ordered into the kitchen by his mother. It was his turn to help.

Chris was chopping carrots and celery when his mother asked how Raina was doing. 

"She is doing fine. Raina wishes she could be here."

However, Lisa could tell something was bothering Chris. He could never hide his emotions from her. "What's the matter, Christopher?"

Chris continued to chop the vegetables until he stopped to look at his mother. "I didn't expect being away from Raina would be this hard, Ma."

"Of course it is. You love Raina," Lisa stated as she continued cooking. 

"I do. But in the past, I had girlfriends who I loved and had to do long-distance," Chris explained. "None of those worked out."

"Because you weren't truly in love with them," Lisa pointed out. "Don't compare what you have with Rain to your past relationships. Every relationship is different. What you and Raina have now is not something you have experienced before, which is real love. True love. Everyone always knew that you two would end up together, except you and Raina. You both are so cute but also clueless at times. You both will get through this. The work commitments will die down. You both will be reunited. Everything will be fine."

Chris took in what his mother was saying. He knew she was right. He had things to look forward to beginning the start of the new year.

"Raina is the first person I dated, well since Jessica at least, that I have really begun to think about marriage and kids. Part of me is scared because it's all so fast. We have only started dating back in mid-July. I don't want to rush anything. I don't want to scare her off. I don't want her to get bored of me," Chris confessed honestly. 

It was heartbreaking for Lisa to hear. She gestured for Chris to sit down at the kitchen table. "You need to stop, Chris. You are allowing your anxiety to get the best of you. Just take a deep breath, okay," she instructed her oldest son. "Raina will never get bored of you. She loves you very much. Don't think about the past; only focus on the future. You and Raina will be fine. More than fine. Yes, there will be hard times, along with good times. It is normal for every functional relationship. You can't have the good without the bad, the sad without the happy, the ups and the downs. The universe needs balance."

"Okay, Oprah," Chris joked. "I get what you're saying."

"Do you?"

"Yeah, I do, Ma."

"Good. Now get back to chopping," Lisa ordered, and Chris went back to cutting vegetables for Thanksgiving dinner. 

[spoookymuulders]

perchance to dream

read it on ao3 here word count: 15,056 chapter word count: 4,433 summary: With two families dead, the BAU is called to Colorado to try and connect the murders. Something about the deaths seems familiar to Reid, but he can't quite put his finger on it. And when a familiar face shows up, it throws another cog into the machine, complicating things further. chapter warnings: mentions of torture/abuse

chapter three. the things we don’t say.

Nothing haunts us like the things we don't say. - Author Mitch Albom

Lakewood Police Department 3:30 PM

           Spencer’s been talking non-stop about his team and how great they are for the past four hours. Parker’s kept track. He started at 11:30, barely stopped to eat lunch, and then continued. And while she’d never tell him to stop or that he’s talking too much, it’s a lot of information and she’s starting to feel a little overwhelmed. That feeling becomes more prevalent as they round a corner - she had asked to walk despite her still-healing feet, glad to finally be out of the hospital and allowed to move around on her own, and Spencer had agreed, saying the police station was only a few blocks away - and the station comes into view.

           She stops short at the corner, wrapping her arms around herself tightly. Spencer keeps walking for a moment before he realizes that Parker is no longer beside him, and he turns around, eyes wide and briefly panicked. He relaxes when he sees Parker hovering at the corner and moves back to her side.

           “Hey.” He says softly, brushing her arms. She looks up at him, tears in her eyes, and he pulls her to his chest. She follows his pull, closing her eyes for a moment and exhaling unsteadily. “It’s okay.”

           “Spencer, I don’t know if I can do this.” She whispers.

           “It’s okay.” He murmurs again, rubbing her back slowly. “They just wanna ask a few more questions. And I’ll be right there the whole time, I promise.” He dips his head to catch Parker’s eye, offering a small, reassuring smile. “Okay?” Parker sighs quietly, nodding after a moment. Spencer squeezes her shoulders and leads her to the station, nudging the door open and following her inside, his hand at the small of her back. He guides her to the conference room and stops in the doorway, knocking lightly. Five heads turn towards them, and Parker has never felt smaller than she does right now.

           Spencer goes around making introductions. Morgan and Prentiss she knows already. He introduces a blonde, motherly woman as JJ, an older gentleman who reminds Parker of her maternal grandfather as Rossi, and at the head of the table is a man Spencer introduces as Hotch. Parker nods a greeting to each of them, staying close to Spencer as they move further into the room.

           “We have a few more questions for you, if that’s alright.” Hotch says, and Parker nods, twisting her sweater sleeve absently. Before he can guide her to an interview room, a chime comes from the computer beside him and he turns it around as a bright voice crows a greeting.

           “I have updates, my fine furry friends, and - oh! Is that her? Reid, is that her?! Hi!” The blonde woman on the computer gasps eagerly, her blue eyes widening almost comically. Spencer chuckles quietly and nods.

           “This is our tech analyst, Penelope Garcia.” He tells Parker softly. Parker waves a little, wrapping her arms around herself again as Hotch clears his throat and Garcia gets back to the aforementioned updates. Parker looks around the room quietly, the case board in one corner catching her eye. As the rest of the team is absorbed in Garcia’s chatter, Parker approaches the board slowly, brows furrowed. The photos on it are hideous. Brutal crime scenes, things she’s never seen before except for on TV. And even then, they weren’t quite this bad.

           One photo in particular catches her eye, and she leans forward, frowning a little. Two tiny holes, barely bigger than pinpricks just below a woman’s collarbone. She looks at the photo beside it, a man with a knife shoved into his heart, his hand wrapped loosely around the hilt, and a woman beside him, a small vial resting in her fingers. In the background of the photo are two more men almost laying on top of each other. Parker is vaguely aware of the continuing conversation behind her as the realization dawns.

           “So!” Garcia is saying, tapping away vigorously at her computer. “You were right, two of the victims had heart attacks induced with potassium chloride, and the other woman, the one who wasn’t poisoned, was bitten by-”

           “Asps.”

           Parker’s quiet voice surprises everyone in the room, and seven pairs of eyes fall on her. Hotch frowns, watching the girl closely.

           “She’s right.” Garcia says, her voice wondering. “I’m looking into where someone might’ve gotten asps now, they’re indiginous to Egypt and pretty hard to get in the US.”

           “How did you know that?” Hotch asks Parker, crossing his arms. She peers at the board for another moment before looking at him.

           “It’s Antony and Cleopatra .” She says softly, looking back to the board. She touches the sticky note where Prentiss has scribbled the quote they found at the last scene. “ The long day’s task is done, and I must sleep is from one of Antony’s monologues. And - and this one..” She points to a photo of the first crime scene, of the Miller family. The eldest son, dismembered, and the mother with burns all the way down her throat stare at her from the photo lifelessly. “This looks like Julius Caesar. ”

           Spencer moves forward, frowning at the board, the look in his eyes somewhere between confusion and frustration. “I can’t believe I didn’t put that together.” He muses quietly, stopping to stand beside Parker, who is still staring at the photos. Her heart thunders in her chest.

           “That’s Othello .” She says, pointing at a photo of the second crime scene. “Emilia and Roderigo are stabbed. Othello stabs himself, and Desdemona is smothered.” She stares over the board for a long moment, and she begins to wonder if the rest of the room can feel her heartbeat in their ears the way she can. She feels her knees begin to buckle a little and Spencer catches her easily, guiding her to a chair that Morgan pushes forward. She sits heavily, eyes on the blue-flecked carpet under her feet for a long moment before she looks up.

           “I think it’s him.” She says quietly.

           “Him who?” Hotch asks, moving to sit across from Parker. She twists her hands anxiously, looking up at him. When she tells him who exactly she thinks it is, he frowns thoughtfully. “What makes you think it’s him?”

           “They’re Shakespeare’s tragedies.” Prentiss says for her. Hotch looks up at her and Parker nods.

           “He loved Shakespeare, specifically the tragedies. He’d make me recite monologues from them sometimes.” She tells Hotch, rubbing her knees. “If I got them wrong..” She trails off, swallowing thickly.

           “If you got them wrong..?” JJ prompts gently, glancing at Prentiss. She wonders briefly if they should take Parker to another room for this, because judging by the look on Reid’s face, she hasn’t told him any of what she’s about to say. He’s still crouched beside Parker’s chair, his hand on her knee gently, but she won’t look him in the eye and she’s twisting the end of her sleeve around her fingers.

           “It depended on the day. Sometimes he’d just hit me, or kick me.” Parker says after a moment, keeping her eyes down. Nobody in the room likes the connotation of the word just before she mentions the abuse, but they keep their mouths shut. “He didn’t smoke often, but when he did, he’d burn me. If he was in a really bad mood and I messed up, he’d - he’d use a belt.”

           Hotch glances at Morgan and Rossi, exhaling quietly. Morgan moves from his stance behind Parker’s chair and crouches so he’s in her field of vision, offering a small, gentle smile when she looks at him.

           “Parker, we’re gonna find the man who hurt you, and those people.” He promises softly. Holding out a hand, he offers another small smile when she touches her fingers against his lightly, and he squeezes her hand gently. “We’re gonna make sure he can’t hurt anyone again. I promise.”

****

           Exhausted in every way imaginable after her interview with Hotch, Parker curls up in a corner of a couch in the conference room and closes her eyes. She’s half-aware of the goings-on around her, can hear people chattering quietly about the case, but she tries to push them out of her mind. Hotch and Morgan are talking quietly on the other side of the room about the rest of the questions she’d answered, and she thinks she hears Hotch say something about her escape.

           “If it is the same guy, her escaping could’ve been the trigger for the killings.” Morgan murmurs, glancing towards the blonde on the couch. “Especially if he was holding her for so long.” Hotch nods his agreement, following Morgan’s gaze and sighing.

           “That depends on how long ago she got away.” Hotch says quietly. “The hospital said she just turned up last night and there were no real signs of exposure, so she can’t have been out on her own more than 24 hours. I’m having Garcia look for any history or Shakespeare buffs in the area, as well as professors and teachers who could be our unsub.” He pulls his eyes away from Parker and watches Prentiss head for the door. She means to go after Reid, who slipped out almost as soon as they were finished with their questions and Parker curled up on the couch. As Morgan mentions coffee, Hotch nods and follows him out of the room, the two of them promising to return with a cup for JJ as well when she asks.

           “Agent Jareau?”

           JJ jumps a little, looking up from her computer. Parker is still settled on the couch, but her eyes are open now, and teary.

           “Call me JJ.” She says gently, offering a small smile. Closing her computer, she moves across the room and perches in a chair beside the couch.

           “JJ.” Parker repeats softly. She fiddles with a thread from the couch for a moment before looking up at JJ. “Is what Agent Morgan said true? Did he kill those people because I got away?”

           JJ’s heart breaks a little and she shakes her head, reaching out to take Parker’s hand and squeezing gently. “No.” She says, her voice gentle but firm. “We don’t know yet if it’s the same man. But if it is, he killed those people because he’s a psychopath. Not because you got away from him.” Parker doesn’t look entirely convinced, but she nods, sniffling quietly. JJ squeezes her hand again and offers a gentle smile. “It’s a good thing you got away from him, Parker.” She insists softly. Parker nods again, still not looking entirely like she believes the other blonde, but she returns the smile with a tiny one of her own, and JJ counts that as progress.

****

           Prentiss finds Reid outside, tipping her head at the sight before her. He looks almost.. Small, seated on a bench outside the police station, his head in his hands as his shoulders shake almost imperceptibly. She clears her throat as she approaches and he sits up quickly. She pretends not to notice as he wipes roughly at his cheeks with the backs of his hands while she perches next to him on the bench, watching the cars roll by.

           “She didn’t tell you about any of that before, did she?” Prentiss asks after a while. Reid shakes his head, rubbing at his nose a little.

           “I guess.. I guess I kind of knew that she would’ve been through something like that.” He mumbles, leaning back against the bench. Prentiss glances at him out of the corner of her eye, her heart aching for her young friend. “I mean, he held her for twelve years, it only makes sense that he would’ve tortured her.”

           The words taste like vomit on his tongue, and he almost feels like he’s actually going to be sick.

           “But it’s different actually hearing about it.” Prentiss says for him, and he nods. Leaning over, she wraps an arm around his shoulders and hugs him tightly for a moment, rubbing his back as she does. She feels the smallest bit of tension leave his body and she leans back, squeezing his shoulder lightly. “She’s gonna need you to help her through it, Reid.” She says softly. “If anyone can understand even a fraction of what she’s been through, it’s you.”

           Reid grimaces a little, knowing that Prentiss is referring to Tobias, but he nods. He tips his head back, watching the clouds for a long moment before he looks back to Prentiss. “I don’t think I ever really apologized for the way I acted towards you then.” He says suddenly. Prentiss laughs softly.

           “You were kind of a dick.” She says, smiling a little more when he does. Leaning over, she bumps his shoulder with hers lightly. “But it’s okay. You were struggling. I understand.” She reaches over, squeezing his hand lightly. “I’m glad you got the help you needed.”

           “Thanks, Emily.” He says softly, returning the squeeze. They sit together like that for a few minutes, two friends hand-in-hand as people rush past them, busy with their own lives, completely unaware of everything around them.

****

           When Spencer and Prentiss come back inside, she makes a beeline for the coffee maker while Spencer slips back into the conference room. JJ, seeing his approach, slips out and squeezes his shoulder gently. He hovers by the doorway for a moment, watching Parker as she stares at the case board and fiddles with her necklace absently. Padding further into the room, he perches next to her on the couch, following her gaze.

           “It’s him, Spencer.” She whispers. He sighs softly, rubbing her back slowly. “I know it is. I can - it’s like I can feel it.” When she turns to look at him, her eyes are red and he can see the remnants of tears in the corners.

           “Hotch and Garcia are looking into it.” He tells her gently. “No matter who he is, we’re gonna catch him, and he’s gonna go to prison for the rest of his life, I promise you that.” Or he’ll kill the bastard with his bare hands, but he keeps that thought to himself. Parker leans into him, resting her cheek to his shoulder and peering at the board for a few minutes. The only noise around them is the quiet chatter outside the conference room, and the occasional ring of a phone at a deputy’s desk.

           “Morgan said I might’ve been the trigger for the murders.” She says quietly. Spencer purses his lips and shakes his head.

           “You’re not.” He tells her firmly. She sighs quietly, and he continues. “Parker, you only just got away two days ago. This all started two weeks ago, there’s no way you’re responsible for the murders. And even if your escape had been the trigger, that wouldn’t mean it’s your fault.” Parker sighs again and rubs her cheeks roughly, closing her eyes for a moment. Spencer’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he pulls it out. “It’s your mom.” Parker nods and watches as he answers the call and chats with her mother for a moment before turning back to her.

           “Your brothers are here.” He tells her. She exhales slowly, suddenly nervous and terrified and excited all at once.

           The trek back to the hospital seems to take forever, though Parker knows they get there in the same amount of time it took them to get to the police station. She stops short at the corner again, her eyes landing on her mother and the three boys - the three men sitting with her.

           Jeremy looks tired, but other than that he hasn’t changed much. He’s as tall as he ever was, towering over their mother and his two younger brothers. His dark hair shines in the sun and Parker thinks she sees a wedding ring glinting on his left hand. She wonders briefly if he’s married to the same girl he’d been dating when she’d been kidnapped, and if he’s got kids now. Is she an aunt?

           AJ, the spitting image of Caroline, is perched beside their mother and bouncing his knees anxiously. He looks pretty much the same too. His hair is a little shorter, a little lighter, but his blue eyes have that same shine, his lips have the same constant upward quirk that she remembers from all those years ago.

           And then there’s James. Perfect, wonderful, beautiful James. James, with the same golden curls and green eyes as Parker. James, with the freckles across his nose and the spring in his step and the fight in his eyes. James, who’s one of the reasons she kept going all these years.

           It’s James who sees her first.

           It’s like he senses her, and she’s sure he does because he’s always been able to. It’s a twin thing, they’d always said. He looks up and locks eyes with her through the thinning crowd, and they stare at each other for a moment. Half a second later, he’s on his feet and they’re sprinting towards each other, both glad that the people on the street have fully dispersed. AJ and Jeremy look up sharply as soon as James moves, both jumping to their feet, but they’re too far behind him to catch up.

           Parker crashes into James’ arms, nearly sending both of them tumbling to the sidewalk. She clings to his t-shirt and tries not to cry for the millionth time in the past three days. Finding herself in Spencer’s arms again had been right. It had felt like coming home. She feels that again as James crushes her in the tightest hug humanly possible. She hears rushing footsteps as AJ and Jeremy join them, slower ones as their mother and Spencer approach as well.

           When James steps back and cups Parker’s cheeks to look her over, to ensure that she’s really there, that all of her is standing in front of him, she smiles at him. It’s a tired, weary smile, but it’s a genuine smile nonetheless. James lets out a breathless, tearful, disbelieving laugh and hauls her into another tight hug.

           “Fuck, Pickle. I missed you.” He whispers into her hair. She winds her arms around him again and presses her face to his shoulder, exhaling quietly and nodding.

           “I missed you, too.” She whispers back. He steps back after a few long moments and she’s passed on to AJ, then Jeremy, pulled into two more bone-crushing hugs before they all step back and take each other in.

           She wonders if she looks the same, or if she looks like a completely different person to them. Spencer had recognized her immediately, so she knows she looked the same to him, but to her family, to the people she spent almost every single day with for nearly seventeen years, she wonders if she looks the same.

           She knows her hair is longer and a little duller than it once was. She knows her bright green eyes have dimmed some, and she knows she’s lost weight. Other than that, she thinks she looks the same as she did. She hasn’t looked in a mirror much since her return. Spencer appears beside her, his hands shoved into his pockets, nodding at her brothers in greeting. There’s a million questions racing through each of their minds, but Parker speaks first, directing her question at Jeremy.

           “Do you have kids?” She asks, gesturing at his ring. He blinks and glances down, like he forgot the ring was there, then looks back up and nods.

           “Two.” He tells her softly, and she feels tears prick her eyes.

           “Are you still with Sophie?” He nods again, digging his wallet out of his pocket and passing her a picture from the bi-fold in it. She takes the photo delicately, looking over it slowly and taking it in. Jeremy and Sophie perched on the steps of a small townhouse, a little boy in Sophie’s lap and a little girl in Jeremy’s.

           “That’s Luke.” He says, pointing to the little boy, then to the little girl. “And PJ. They can’t wait to meet you.” AJ is next, and he shakes his head before she speaks.

           “No kids here.” He says, smiling a little. “Just a fiancee. His name is Alex, you’ll love him.” Parker nods, returning the small smile and shuffling her feet absently. “We have two dogs and a cat.” Parker laughs a little, wiping at her eyes. She cries in full when Jeremy tells her that PJ is short for Parker Jude.

****

           The reunion between siblings completely wipes Parker out. As they part ways and the boys go back to the hotel with their mother, Parker sinks onto the bench they’d occupied not long ago. Spencer, having stayed back and let the family reunite without intrusion, comes forward now and sits beside her, winding an arm around her shoulders when she leans against him.

           “Tired?” He asks softly. Parker can hear the smile in his voice and she nods, stifling a yawn behind her hand. “How’re you feeling?”

           “That was a lot.” She mumbles sleepily, blinking up at him blearily. He nods, rubbing her back slowly. She falls quiet again for a few minutes, and Spencer is starting to think she’s fallen asleep right there on the bench when she speaks again. “I don’t really know what I’m feeling. I’m.. Happy I’m home - well, kind of home. Back with you. And with my mom and the boys. But I’m.. I’m scared, too, Spencer.”

           He holds her closer, pressing a kiss to her hair and closing his eyes. “What are you scared of?” He asks her quietly. She shrugs, rubbing at her eyes carefully.

           “I’m scared that he’ll come back. That he’ll take me away again.” She says, keeping her eyes fixed on the streetlight flickering on across the street as the rest of the world dims around them. “But more than that, I’m scared of - I’m scared that I won’t be able to.. Reintegrate or whatever. I’m terrified that I’ll be too scared to go out and.. I dunno. Get my GED and try to go to college and get a job or whatever.” Her voice gets quieter and quieter the more she speaks, and Spencer almost has to strain to hear her.

           “Parker, hey. Hey.” He says gently, dipping his head so he can catch her eyes. His heart aches dully when he sees the tears she’s holding back, and he pulls her close for another tight hug. She doesn’t wrap her arms around him, instead tucking them between the two of them and letting herself melt into his embrace. “I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you. And I’ll help you with everything. You’re gonna be okay. I swear.”

           “I don’t even know what I wanna do anymore.” Parker says miserably, more tears springing to her eyes suddenly. “Before he took me, I was so sure I wanted to go off and study theater and acting, but now I don’t - I don’t know. I can’t do Shakespeare anymore, he ruined that for me, and I hate him for it.” She stands now, beginning to pace in front of Spencer, and he watches her, his eyes widening slightly as she raves.

           “But that’s all I ever knew!” She continues, waving her hands, tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. “I wanted to act since I was eight years old, so I did, and then - and then I didn’t for twelve years because I couldn’t ! I couldn’t do anything except recite fucking Shakespeare monologues and now - now every time I hear them I feel like I could puke! That was everything I wanted to do and everything I wanted to be and now I don’t-” She falls silent suddenly, coming to an abrupt stop in front of the bench, and Spencer watches her for a moment.

           “I don’t even know who I am anymore!” She says, her hands coming up to cover her face as she gives in to the sobs that have been building like a tidal wave. They crash over her now, making her shake, and Spencer stands quickly, wrapping his arms around her tightly and pulling her against his chest.

           If he’s being completely honest, part of him is relieved to see this sudden show of emotions. Up until now, she hasn’t shown much of anything. Aside from the reunions with her loved ones and the terror in her eyes at the precinct, she’s been quiet and almost numb. And he understands, he does. It’s much the same as how he felt after Tobias, when the only thing he felt he’d had to turn to had been the dilaudid. The thought digs at the back of his mind that Parker could turn to something like that too, and it makes him hold her tighter. He won’t let that happen.

           “Look at me. Hey, look at me.” He says firmly. He removes his arms from her shoulders only to move her hands from her face gently. When she lets him lower them, he cups her cheeks and brushes the tears from them with his thumbs delicately. He looks her over for a moment, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear gently before he speaks again.

           “You’re Parker O’Hare. You pushed a fifth-grader off a swing when you were seven years old, and I’m pretty sure that if he’d tried to fight back, you would’ve kicked his ass. You broke your arm when you were ten years old and you just stared at it and told your mom you needed to go to the doctor while I freaked out. You held me together after the Harper Hillman incident. You kept me sane for ten years. More than that, you’ve kept me sane since the day we met, even when we weren’t together.”

           She’s crying still, but he keeps talking.

           “That’s who you are.” His voice softens now, and he feels tears prick his own eyes. “You’re Parker O’Hare, and you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met. You’re my best friend, and I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

           Sucking in a breath, she wraps her arms around him tightly. He winds his arms around her shoulders again and presses his cheek to the top of her head. He can feel the raging storm in her ebbing away slowly, feel the fight and the anxiety draining out of her bit by bit. Her fingers curl white-knuckle-tight in the back of his jacket as she clings to him like a life preserver in the choppy waves.

           "You don't have to know what you wanna do right this second." He whispers into her hair. "You have time to figure it out. We have time."

           And he's right. They have all the time in the world.

Now that I'm free to be myself, who am I? - Poet Mary Oliver

[contrariian-archive]

HADESTOWN SENTENCE STARTERS PT III

feel free to change pronouns/etc!

pt i || pt ii

CHANT II

‘ now, everybody knows the walls have ears. ’ ‘ is it true? ’ ‘ when i was a young man like you, son, i held a woman too. ’ ‘ now you know how it feels. ’ ‘ women are as slick as eels. woman, quicker than the asp, always slipping from your grasp. ’ ‘ take it from a man no longer young: if you want to hold a woman, hang a chain around her throat made of many carat gold. shackle her from wrist to wrist with sterling silver bracelets. fill her pockets full of stones: precious ones, diamonds, bind her with a golden band. ’ ‘ you said you’d harbor me. ’ ‘ is it true what he said? ’ ‘ when i was a young girl like you, i was hungry too. ’ ‘ now you know how it tastes. ’ ‘ love is not a gilded cage! ’ ‘ all the wealth within these walls will never buy the thing called love. ’ ‘ love was when you came to me begging on your bended knees to please have pity on your heart, and let you lay me in the dirt. ’ ‘ we didn’t need a wedding bed. ’ ‘ that was in another life. ’ ‘ i once sang the young man’s blues. ’ ‘ women come and women go. ’ ‘ one day you’re hot, the next you’re cold. women are so seasonal. ’ ‘ now i sing a different song, one i can depend upon. ’ ‘ you can strum your lyre  —  i have strung the world in wire! ’ ‘ i conduct the electric city! ’ ‘ i’m gonna count to three and put you out of your misery. ’ ‘ give me one more song. ’ ‘ sing a song for me. make me laugh, make me weep. make me feel young again. ’

EPIC III

‘ heavy and hard is the heart of the king. king of iron, king of steel. ’ ‘ the heart of the king loves everything like the hammer loves the nail. ’ ‘ the heart of a man is a simple one: small and soft, flesh and blood, and all that it loves is a woman. ’ ‘ you scrape the sky and scar the earth, and you come down heavy and hard on me. ’ ‘ even that hardest of hearts unhardened when i saw you there: sun on your shoulders, wind in your hair. the smell of the flowers you held in your hand, and the pollen that fell from your fingertips. and suddenly i was only a man with a taste of nectar upon my lips. ’ ‘ what has become of the heart of that man, now that he has everything? ’ ‘ the more you have, the more you hold, the greater the weight of the world on your shoulders. ’ ‘ i see how you labor beneath that load: afraid to look up, and afraid to let go. ’ ‘ and you keep your head low, and you keep your back bending: you grow so afraid that you’ll lose what you own. ’ ‘ but what you don’t know is that what you’re defending is already gone. ’ ‘ where is the treasure inside of your chest? where is your pleasure? where is your youth? ’ ‘ where is the man with his hat in his hands, who stands in the garden with nothing to lose? ’

WORD TO THE WISE

‘ whatcha gonna do now? ’ ‘ if you tell him no, you’re a heartless man and you’re gonna have a martyr on your hands. ’ ‘ if you let him go, you’re a spineless king, and you’re never gonna get them in line again. ’ ‘ damned if you don’t, damned if you do. ’ ‘ the whole damn nation’s watching you. ’ ‘ men are fools. men are frail. give them the rope and they’ll hang themselves. ’

HIS KISS, THE RIOT

‘ the devil take you and your belladonna kiss. ’ ‘ with your kiss, the riot starts. ’ ‘ now what do they clamor for? freedom! ’ ‘ have i made myself their lord just to fall upon the sword? ’ ‘ who will lead them? ’ ‘ who lays all the best laid plans? ’ ‘ who makes work for idle hands? ’ ‘ only one thing to be done: let them think that they have one. ’ ‘ every coward seems courageous in the safety of the crowd. ’ ‘ bravery can be contagious when the band is playing loud. ’ ‘ nothing makes a man so bold as a woman’s smile and a hand to hold. ’ ‘ but all alone, blood runs thin and doubt comes in. ’

PROMISES

‘ you said the world was generous and wouldn’t turn its back on us. ’ ‘ all the birds they disappeared, so me too, i flew away. ’ ‘ you said that you would stay with me whatever weather came our way. ’ ‘ i have no ring for your finger, i have no banquet table laid. i have no bed of feathers. ’ ‘ i can’t promise you fair sky above, can’t promise you kind road below. but i’ll walk with you, my love, any way the wind blows. ’ ‘ i don’t a ring for my finger, just need a steady hand to hold. ’ ‘ just walk with me. ’ ‘ i don’t know where this road will end, but i’ll walk with you into the wind. ’

WAIT FOR ME II

‘ meanest dog you’ll ever meet  —  it ain’t the hound dog in the street. he bares his teeth and tears your skin, but that’s the worst of him. the dog you really got to dread is the one that howls inside your head. it’s him whose howling drives men mad. ’ ‘ you think we’ll make it? ’ ‘ you let them go. ’ ‘ are we gonna try again? ’ ‘ wait for me? ’ ‘ you got a lonesome road to walk. ’

DOUBT COMES IN

‘ doubt comes in and leaves a trace of vinegar and turpentine. ’ ‘ where are you? ’ ‘ you’re shivering. ’ ‘ you’re shivering  —  is it cold, or fear? ’ ‘ the coldest night of the coldest year comes right before the spring. ’ ‘ hold on tight, it won’t be long. ’ ‘ the darkest hour of the darkest night comes right before the dawn. ’

ROAD TO HELL II

‘ here’s the thing: to know how it ends, and still begin to sing it again as if it might turn out this time ... i learned that from a friend of mine. ’ ‘ you could make me see how the world could be in spite of the way it is. ’ ‘ spring has come again with a love song for anyone who tries. ’

[mattpitman]

The precipice.

Wow. What a week. 

I am not entirely sure where it was more chaotic, in my remote classroom or in the political arena. I gave my thoughts on all of that last week and I’m still very much in the same place. I’m feeling fortunate to live in Victoria, that is for sure. I can’t wait to stroll the busy streets of Melbourne again...

The chaos in the classroom is actually great though. The remote learning environment is a hive of activity. It has been well documented by many in the education sector that the energy and time commitment required of online/remote/continuous learning is substantially more than what many anticipated or had experienced in the classroom. But it’s also, so rewarding! 

There were days it used to feel like pulling teeth when asking for feedback, questions or concerns in the physical classroom, but online, it’s a rush of queries and challenging thoughts. Students are engaging with their content with an enthusiasm that I really didn’t anticipate, and the communication! Students are messaging and emailing ahead of time when they are unable to meet a specific task requirement and providing an alternative. Truly inspiring what can happen when you leave a young person to “fend” for themselves.

There are negatives of course. I am reminded of the distance every time I check in with my students via video conference, that the personal and social component is a large percentage of what makes teaching such a great profession. But while the social distance is substantial at the moment, it won’t be forever, and it will quickly change when it is appropriate and safe to return to schools. The pedagogy however, well that is a completely different story.

With all of this talk about going back to school, I find myself reflecting on this ongoing remote learning experience and how positive it has been for me personally. It has without a doubt changed the way I intend to teach when we return to the college grounds, and I am pretty excited about that. Rejuvenated perhaps is the right word. Much of what I have learned or intend to take back is probably old news, but it has energised me and that is what really counts.

With a looming date for the end of the State of Emergency in Victoria, I can’t help but think that we are on the precipice of great change again in education. This time it isn’t how - as in “how are we going to shift everything online in such a short period of time?”, but what - as in “what are we going to take back with us?”. 

I previously spoke about my experiences and reflected about my own re-working of practice and development of a model for my classes. Some of that is on this blog and also in a couple of LinkedIn articles (here: “You helped me. Thanks”, and here: “I watched my students learn from a distance. It was awesome”). I intend to keep my three lesson model when we return. Today though, I thought I would reflect on my biggest personal learnings and why I believe they will be held very tightly as I jump off this cliff and back into the physical teaching environment - whenever that may be.

1. Less instruction, more construction 

I see myself now as a facilitator, not a teacher. I do not belong at the front of the class as the “expert”. My primary role is to create an environment in which my students can become the experts. Online I don’t set tasks, I share tasks. Online I observe my students challenging, exploring and creating, while providing guidance and feedback where I can from a distance. I have said previously “put away your spoons, the students can feed themselves” and I meant it. Across this journey so far I’ve seen an increase in the quality of work from my strongest students to my lowest achievers, and to be honest those classifications mean nothing in the remote learning world. Where students have wanted to be involved, they have succeeded because this environmental change has supported their individuality.

Part of this I attribute to drastically reducing the amount of content rather than attempting to replicate and mimic the traditional classroom. I think all teachers facilitators would agree, that student feedback is some of the most meaningful. Especially, unprovoked feedback. A number of students have provided me with surprise thoughts, opinions and thanks across the last three weeks and it’s been incredibly meaningful and allowed me to be more productive in my role. They love the more focussed and reduced workload. They have time to work through the content and time to process its application to their world, rather than in service of an assessment task. The return to the physical classroom environment will be a drastic change to what has quickly become habitual, but I intend to maintain the quality over quantity mindset, freeing up time for discussion and conversation. Not all of the time allocated to the lesson has to be “on task”. Creativity, curiosity and critical thinking is not the stuff of textbook questions, it is more exploratory and I won’t be looking backward. 

Less instruction, more construction means less of my voice and more of theirs.

2. Blended, not mashed 

Technology and education have an interesting history. Sometimes it feels forced, other times it is a miracle classes were taught without it. This experience has demonstrated to me that my students are tech-savvy, but also select with the application of their abilities. Today’s young people thrive on choices. They are incredible when you want a video published on social media or a code written for gaming platform but when it comes to spreadsheets or word processing or conducting research on a fixed topic outside of that interest - they may be disengaged.

This experience has shown me the value of sharing a task and giving the students the room to engage with it. Technology used in this way is not forced or out of place, it is ingrained. This isn’t a PowerPoint to support a 40 minute lecture, it’s a recorded 5 minute video, followed by a research question, to formulate a response for the discussion forum and the basis for a class debate. I don’t envisage this classroom to have students in rows of chairs with books and pens. It’s students outside, in the hallway and on the floor, engaging with the content as they choose. This is taking the wins from the remote learning period and applying them to the strengths of the physical classroom.

This is not just lashing technology to the side of the lesson and hoping it stays attached. This is creating a lesson that is designed to give the students control of the pace and allow them to discover with more freedom.

Blended, not mashed means less information and more exploration.

3. Connection instead of direction

In my role as a House Leader it sometimes feels like I only contact parents and they only contact me with concerns or to schedule meetings and of course, at parent teacher interviews. Since moving to remote learning however, I have found that communication between parents, students and staff has been much more free flowing and spontaneous. Perhaps this is because many parents find themselves temporarily working from home also and the barrier of conflicting schedules has been removed. In any case, the level of parent, student and my own engagement is high. I love it.

While I would say I am fortunate to teach secondary education, and a lot of what I am talking about here is framed to that particular environment, the shared responsibility of parents, students and teachers in guiding a learner on their journey has never been more evident. Weekly updates of concepts, tasks and their application have been met with parent support and gratitude. Allowing those parents the intel they need to politely inquire or praise and congratulate their 17-18 year old child in the least intrusive manner possible. At my school we are currently in process of a 3-week parent-teacher interview cycle (via phone) and the conversations have reflected both the parents understanding that the learning is their child’s responsibility but the support is ours to share. Incredibly valuable and rewarding!

Connection instead of direction means less reporting and more supporting.

This is the precipice

Do we jump and be curious and adaptive? Or do we step backward and return to the safety of the land?

I don’t believe there is any long term benefit of returning to the “old way” of doing things. The short term comfort in going back to what we “used to do” will not last. It might be uncomfortable initially, but all forward thinking and future focused movements are slow, painful and challenging for individual's but, the rewards are potentially huge for whole communities.

Going back to a pre-corona model of education would be to the benefit and comfort of certain teachers only. Students would suffer. 

So it is time to consider why we got into this game and whether we are ready to continue changing it.

Will you jump with me?

This is the precipice.

Here’s a few things that have inspired me this past week as an educator and a leader:

Educator Perspectives on the Impact of COVID-19 on Teaching and Learning 

(https://www.linkedin.com/posts/mattlukepitman_pivot-state-of-education-2020-white-paper-activity-6661744495702474752-1in6)

Pivot Professional Learning along with Education Perfect ran a series of fantastic webinars this week, highlighting the incredible effort of educators across Australia and NZ. Pivot also, in a massive effort, collected a ton of data and has put together this report. Definitely worth a read, very insightful stuff.

Continuous Learning Toolkit Vol. II | Leading Through Crisis 

(https://www.linkedin.com/posts/mattlukepitman_continuous-learning-toolkit-volume-ii-activity-6661169533031723008-sP68)

I continue to be unashamed in how much I love their podcast, but a close second to that is The Game Changers (Adriano & Phil) Continuous Learning Toolkit. This second volume presents a number of innovative and game-changing schools, their models, frameworks and stories. For any aspiring Game Changer this is a must read!

Future Agendas for Global Education: Executive Summary 

(https://issuu.com/4796376/docs/gef.agenda_eng)

Sold to me as “an excellent report that should be read by every school leader and educational policy maker” this summary is a long read but an engaging and inspiring one. Worth your time if you have it and if you don’t, make some!

[missallycat]

Did you know? - Gilmore Girls FAQs, trivia and curiosites

I’ve watched this show so many times, I stopped counting years ago when I reached double digits. Is my favorite show of all times and I’ve been told almost nobody knows it as well as I do, so I decided to put together all the knowledge I’ve gained over the years of trivia tidbits, although in that I’m nowhere near an expert ;) my deal is knowing these characters and their personalities and the lines of the show lol but I figured I’d give it a try and collect all the trivia and tidbits of knowledge I’ve gained over the years in one post that I’ll continue to edit to add more stuff (there are a couple that I didn’t get a chance to add right not that will add later on)

1. Yes, that’s Kirk in guardians of the galaxy 2 http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0348231/. And yes Sam Smith (depending on the photo) does look like Kirk (Sean Gunn). Sean Gunn also played the movements of Rocket the racoon.

2. And yes that is Jess dad's girlfriend Sasha now as April's mom (yes she was/is in Twin Peaks http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000145/). Amy wanted to work with Sherilyn and rumor has it she was offered the role for Lorelai first but there’s no article yet to be found stating this directly from the Palladinos mouths.

3. And yes cousin Marilyn and Gran, Lorelai the first, Richard’s mother, are the same actress. (Happy Day’s Mrs Cunningham http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005385/?ref_=nv_sr_1).

3. Yes the girl in SH high unnamed who asks Lorelai a question and Logan’s LBD friend Juliette are the same actress. Different character. Riki Lindhome played the unnamed student of SH high and Juliette

5. Yes the first episode looks completely different (not just in the diner) because it was filmed in a different location (Ontario, Canada).

6. Yes, that’s Luke in Seinfeld. (”sponge worthy guy”) and in Will & Grace, jerk guy obsessed with huge boobs, Grace wanted to impress with the water bra. Lauren was also in Seinfield as one of Jerry’s brief girlfriends. That’s also a young Lauren in Caroline in the city.

7. That’s Chris in friends (hums when he pees guy). Yes that's both Luke and Chris on Will & Grace (Luke water bra artist narcissistic guy, Chris cabin in the woods hot guy).

8. Yes that is Logan (and with Usher for that matter lol) in that scene at 7th heaven . And yes Logan. Matt Czuchry was in the good wife, and he has his own show now “The Resident” on Fox. Currently filming a second season (as in October 1st, 2018)

9. Yes Crazy Carrie was also the Stars Hollow High teacher (by a different name) in the pilot. Same actress that plays crazy Carrie but different name of character

10. No, nobody knows if the show will ever come back (as far as it’s been told everything points to a NO). The Palladinos don’t double book, they are happy doing Mrs Maisel and they devote themselves to one show at the time. The last interview they gave on the subject was to Michael Ausiello in the podcast you can hear in the links. 1. A direct link to the article from November 2017 but is important to listen to the podcast http://tvline.com/2017/11/27/amy-sherman-palladino-podcast-interview-gilmore-girls-mrs-maisel/ 2. This is a link directly to the podcast that opens right up and they say "it would have to be the right time , we don't know but we're open. We said no before and ended up doing more that's why we're open now but it would have to be in a different format", Daniel doesn't repeat the would have to because he already said it right before in the same sentence. Basically is nothing we didn't know. However is a very interesting podcast http://hwcdn.libsyn.com/p/b/8/1/b810a8eea76b5eb5/Amy_and_Dan.mp3?c_id=17932724&expiration=1526427435&hwt=95629606ee9caf86bc57bb8d2d70cf6a. Amy and Dan Palladino show creators and writers and producers, these are the people who made this universe, these are the people who the show belongs to, this is THEIR baby and they made a damn good one.

11. No, Lauren Graham did not have cancer and write a book about it. (different person, same name).

12. No, Lauren and Scott didn't hate each other's guts they just weren't BFFs. They have both said this endlessly, they have respect for each other. Scott had a crush on Lauren when he begun the show. But from what has been told and learned about Scott, it seems he doesn’t like to get along with the rest of the cast unless is for his personal gain.

13. NO Rory is not a surrogate. They never even discussed the surrogacy Lorelai with Rory neither did Paris with Rory and Gilmore Girls is a light dramedy not a soap opera it doesn’t have sudden hidden scenes that come to change the show completely, other shows, soap operas could do that, Gilmore Girls DOES NOT. She is NOT pregnant of the Wookie. She never slept with Paul (the actor even said it wasn’t Paul’s) Milo said Jess is not the father and doesn’t romantically love Rory anymore. Only Alexis and Matt were told who the father of the baby is. The Palladinos have said clearly that the father of Rory’s baby was never meant to be a mystery. The only person that fits is Logan. The only actors they have told are Alexis and Matt and told them they could do what they wanted with the information but they have chosen not to say anything because is Amy’s story.And the Palladinos have said IT IS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. So, Logan is the father, is no cliffhanger is open ending. Yes it would be lovely to see more of them but the Palladinos don’t have the style of wrapping up things in a big pink bow.

14. Ace is Logan’s term of endearment for Rory, it shows respect and admiration, it comes from what they used to call top reporters in the 50’s movies, he first calls her that in a IM conversation at the Yale daily news in the episode season 5 episode 6 of Norman Mailer, I’m pregnant!. Not in the poker game, not in the LDB first gathering. Is a term of respect for her abilities investigating the Life and Death Brigade.

15. The love rocket. Rory understood the meaning because it was the same model, came from an episode of the Twilight zone that was Logan’s favorite. It didn’t need confirmation from Logan because Rory had already said she understood it and she explained it to Lorelai in the same episode: “When Logan and I were first going out, we were in the pool house one night really late, and we were falling asleep on the couch. And this episode of "the twilight zone" came on -- "the long morrow." There's this astronaut who was supposed to go into space for 40 years, but right before he left, he met this beautiful woman. But for those 40 years that he was going to be in space, he was going to be in suspended animation. So when he came back to earth, he was going to be really young, but she would be really old. So he goes into space, and when he does come back, the woman is still young and beautiful because she put herself in suspended animation to wait for him, but he's really, really old because he took himself out of suspended animation so he could be old with her. He spent 40 years alone in space just waiting to see her, and he was willing to come back as an 80-year-old man, giving up almost his entire life just to spend those last few years with her. The point is, that this is Logan's favorite episode of "the twilight zone." And when we watched it together, he said, "that's true love." That's true love! This is the most romantic gift I've ever been given.”.

16. Chris wasn’t at Rory’s high school graduation. He was however at her college graduation. The reason they give is he had to work. Probably the actor who was a guest star was doing another project and couldn’t be in the episode or they just didn’t want to write him in so they could develop more the arc between Lorelai and Luke.

17. June 3rd is the date of Rory’s court date AND the date chosen by Lorelai for hers and Luke’s wedding in the original show. Is the same date different year, coincidence as Lorelai herself says the date happened to happen. There’s a theory that is ASP’s best friend Helen Pai’s birthday. Since it was in an old interview we haven’t found the confirmation of it yet becaue there’s no data (at least on the searches we’ve done so far by various people) on Helen Pai’s date of birth.

18. Lane’s story is loosely based on Helen Pai’s, executive producer of the show and Amy Sherman Palladino’s best friend. HEP ALIEN is an anagram of her name (Pai’s name). Helen Pai’s husband is real life Dave Rygalski which was the character of Dave initially based on until the actor had to leave for a better offer.

19. The real life Dave Rygalski shows up in the troubadour’s “attack” episode, he was with Daniel Palladino who was singing a beaver ate my thumb Dan is singing and Dave is playing the bass. Daniel Palladino is also the town loner, the one who protests at the church and appears briefly in the pilot episode leaving Luke’s. In total Dan Palladino shows up three times in the show

20. Keiko Agena and Emily Kuroda are Japanese American that’s why when they speak korean in very few moments in the show is very difficult to understand for people who do understand korean. Also Mrs Kim’s real name, at least Korean’s name is Jong Ya. Lane’s is Hyun Kyung, without last names, which come first in Korean Culture so Lane would be Kim Hyun Kyung, Mrs Kim however would not be Kim as last name, that’s a westerner tradition, in Korea women don’t change their last name when they marry and they are referred as Madam, Auntie, or as mother of such (name of youngest child) depending on level of familiarity. There’s never a mention of Mrs Kim’s “westerner” first name.

21. There’s also no idea of what Lane’s father does or where he is during the original show. Amy Sherman Palladino show creator said she never saw the need to create or cast a Mr Kim because it was more to focus in the mother and daughter dinamics. No is not the unnamed Asian waiter at Luke’s. Mr Kim appears in the revival for a brief moment, never before. There’s a fan theory going around that he was never there because he had to constantly be traveling to supply antiques for the store. Lane mentions “my parents”, “my mother and father” in a handful of ocassions through the show. He WAS NOT the unnamed Asian waiter that is always at the background at Luke’s. The Palladinos had never made anyone pass for Mr Kim not even as the back of a head until the revival as a way of fan service and as a joke like saying “oh look, so maybe he had been there the entire time”.

22. The translation of the korean wedding ceremony is here: https://missallycat.tumblr.com/post/173812878159/i-got-a-sidekick-out-of-you (is a tumblr post) complete with before and after.

23. What does Lane’s grandmother say when she arrives at the house before the wedding? Grandma takes her coat and she sees Lane, she calls out her name Hyun Kyung-a (the a is an added sound they use for familiarity when they call someone's name) and tells her to come down. After Lane comes down she pats her in the cheek and says Lane is "oh so pretty!". Lane replies, "welcome, grandmother, I am very happy you came." The grandmother then says, "it's good to have come / I'm glad I came." She then talks to Mrs Kim (Yong Ja-ya Jong Ya is the name the ya the added familiarity informal sound), asking why is that Budha statue here in the room?. Mrs Kim says I was going to move it, mother (formal). Grandma walks through the house she's saying, "ugh, it's so dirty and stuffy in here - open a door." Then Mrs Kim says something that sounds sort of like, "rest first, please." When the camera cuts to Lane and Rory giving each other 'the look,' Grammy Kim is saying, "hey, why didn't you come out to the airport?" Mrs Kim maybe replies, "you said yesterday... that I shouldn't..." (and the sentence doesn't finish). Grammy Kim then says, "the atmosphere/karma is bad [in here]. It needs to be changed. Let's bow 108 times."

24. The episode of Jess in California “Here comes the son” WAS the backdoor pilot episode of what was going to be made into a spin off. But it wasn’t deemed interesting enough by the network to justify the expenses of shooting in the actual locations so it didn’t happen.

25. Miss Celine and Drella the harpist are the same actress. Alex Borstein. She was going to be Sookie, she was in the unaired pilot but due to conflicts with her other show she couldn’t be so she came later as other characters. She was also the voice in Dwight’s answering machine (especially my trivial pursuit!) and the woman’s voice in the museum. Jackson was married to her but they are divorced know.

26. Paris (Liza Weill) initially auditioned for the role of Rory, she didn’t get it but they liked her so much they created Paris for her.

27. Luke was initially going to be a woman but they figured the show needed more testosterone so they casted Scott. This has been the first and only major role Scott Patterson has had in his entire “career” as an actor, the one that led him to get a few more minor roles, rumor has it, he’s very difficult to work with and not talented enought to be worth the pain. He milks Gilmore Girls every chance he gets.

28. Sookie was going to be gay but the network put a stop to that, they didn’t want any openly gay characters in the show. The Palladinos were new at this so they accepted the network’s conditions. Is probably why Michel was always put as bicurious or closeted gay man during the original show and was only fully out in the revival as an obvious thing that needed no explanation or backstory because everyone always assumed Michel was gay.

29. Kirk (Sean Gunn) was initially just an appearance, Mick in the pilot episode, then swan guy, then Kirk new manager at Doose’s new in town who didn’t know Miss Patty or anyone and then became the Kirk Gleason we know and love. Sean Gunn was initially an extra but they loved him so much they created Kirk Gleason as permanent character for him.

30. Gypsy and Berta, the maid in AYITL are both played by the extremely talented, Rose Abdoo. She was hilarious in a reading when they hadn’t casted anyone yet so she was given the part. Her language is “berta-ese” lol She speaks mostly Spanish, a couple of words could be Brazilian portuguese (maybe?), is mostly nonsensical Spanish words in the kind of Spanish that wouldn’t make a sentence with any meaning or sense and Rose Abdoo said she had changed a few vowels of the words to make it more confusing.G

31. The unkown town elder (towel guy) is played by William Morgan Sheppard. He was never in the show before or after.

32. None of the elders were the same actors or characters of Richard’s two friends in the golf outing with Rory. But one of those friends was the reverend that buries gran, and in the revival is Charlie of the gazette.

33. Rory’s resident advisor Tess the girl who hands her the keys on her first day of Yale (SE04 EP2 “The Lorelais first day at Yale”) is a different actress than Sandee from Sandee says in AYTIL (a year in the life, netflix GG revival) Tess name is Joy Darash http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1384632/?ref_=ttfc_fc_cl_t17 Sandee is Julia Goldani Telles http://www.imdb.com/name/nm5065920/?ref_=tt_cl_t3 (if you ever saw ASP’s show bunheads that’s Sasha)

34. When they take the roadtrip to Harvard. The picture of the girl Lorelai stares at when she’s in the hallway is a stranger it has to do with the year not the girl herself. That's the year she would have graduated if she went to an Ivy league college as it was planned. It was sort of a “what if” moment.

35. Emily Gilmore didn’t go to Yale she went to Smith to study History. Women weren’t admitted in Yale at the time Richard and Emily went to college but it was usual that girls colleges and guys colleges would have parties together and visited each other when there were couples. First mention of Emily attending Smith was in season 5. How many kropogs to cape cod. Richard jokes how Emily got kicked out of the women’s softball team for elbowing another girl. In season 7 I’m a kayak hear me roar, Emily says she went to Smith and majored in History.

36. They talk about Richard’s mother in the first season in past tense but later on Trix appears. It was an error of the first season when things weren’t that defined.

37. Alexis Bledel and Milo Ventimiglia did date in real life, apparently it ended really badly. She also dated Jared Padalecki. She didn’t date Matt Czuchry at least not that is known but both are extremely private people, however they are good friends and trust each other a lot from every interview they have given and enjoy working together. She’s now happily married to her Mad Men costar Vincent Kartheiser and they have a beautiful boy together.

38. Luke’s diner has the sign of William’s hardware store and not Danes’ because as a fandom we assume William was his dad’s first name. You’ll see changes in the diner all through the show. However Luke’s parents names are never mentioned ever during the show. The pilot episode was filmed in Unionville Ontario in a building that was formerly Williams hardware. For continuity when they moved to the studio lot at Warner Brothers the name was kept. I don't remember them ever explaining the name on the series other than the hardware store belonged to Lukes father

39. Lorelai’s doll house is NOT the same dollhouse on friends but it is the dollhouse they show on sale at Kim’s antiques, in one episode where Lane is going to talk to her mom about the band and Mrs Kim cracks the joke “but is past their bedtime”.

40. Yes Gil from Hep Alien is Sebastian Bach from Skid Row.

41. Yes the “hug-a-world” that was in the garage in season 4 is on their couch in season 1! (Same as the scary clown pillow is in a number of seasons lying around lol)

42. Alexis Bledel is actually a Latina. She was born and raised in the US but grew in a Spanish speaking, latino, household, her father and paternal grandfather are Argentinian, her mother, like herself was born in the US, but Alexis’ mother grew up in Mexico. Alexis didn’t learn English until she started school. The episode where Rory speaks Spanish with Esperanza (Season 6 episode 2: “Fight face”) she anglicized her native Spanish BECAUSE Rory didn’t know much Spanish. There’s an old interview with Ellen Degeneres on set while filming season 6 or 7 that she’s asked to translate for Lauren, she doesn’t translate everything due to nervousness. (It also happens when you live your adult life in a country that doesn’t speak your first language, growing up bilingual, you tend to adopt the accent of the language you use most and tend to confuse some words when you don’t use your native language often).

43. People praised the chemistry and physical closeness between Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel, but there is actually a very logical reason for this: Alexis was a model and was just starting out acting and had a tougher time making her marks, so as veteran, Lauren often physically moved Alexis to make sure she was in the right place. Lauren told “The Today Show” in 2015: "The camerawork on that show is very specific and we really had to hit certain marks, which especially when you start out, is just a foreign concept...I remember a lot of times just kind of grabbing her, just kind of leading her arm. So, in the beginning, people are like, 'You have such great chemistry.' And I'm like, 'I'm mauling her. That's why.'"

(check this entry from time to time because I’ll keep writing fun facts)

[arismemeresource]

hadestown (2017) sentence meme || part six

“Now everybody knows the walls have ears.”

“Is it true?”

“And the walls had heard what the boy was saying.”

“A million tons of stone and steel... echoed his refrain.”

“When I was a young man like you, son, I held a woman too. Held her in my naked hands when I was a young man.”

“Now you know how it feels. Women are as slick as eels! Woman, quicker than the asp. Always slipping from your grasp.”

“If you want to hold a woman, son; Hang a chain around her throat made of many carat gold.”

“Shackle her from wrist to wrist with sterling silver bracelets.”

“Fill her pockets full of stones! Precious ones, diamonds. Bind her with a golden band! Take it from an old man...”

“When I was a young girl like you, sister, I was hungry too.”

“Hungry for the underworld when I was a young girl.”

“Take it from a woman of my age: Love is not a gilded cage.”

“All the wealth within these walls will never buy the thing called love.”

“Love was when he came to me, begging on his bended knees to please have pity on his heart... and let him lay me in the dirt...”

“I felt his arms around me then; We didn’t need a wedding bed.”

“That’s when I became his wife... but that was in another life. That was in another world, when I was a young girl!”

“Young man, I was young once too! I once sang the young man’s blues.”

“One day she’s hot, the next she’s cold... Women are so seasonal!”

“Women leave again and again! Take it from an old man.”

“Now I sing a different song. One I can depend upon. The simple tune, the steady beat, the music of machinery!”

“Young man, you can strum your lyre, I have strung the world in wire!”

“Young man, you can sing your ditty. I CONDUCT THE ELECTRIC CITY!“

“I’ll tell you what, young man. Since my wife is such a fan... And since I’m going to count to three, and put you out of your misery...”

“One!-- give me one more song! One more song before I send you Two!-- to the great beyond where nobody can hear you singing! Three!-- sing a song for me! Make me laugh, make me weep!”

“Make the king feel young again! Sing for an old man!”

“ Heavy and hard is the heart of the king. King of iron, king of steel.”

“The heart of the king loves everything like the hammer loves the nail.”

“But even that hardest of hearts unhardened... Suddenly, when he saw her there; Persephone in her mother’s garden... Sun on her shoulders, wind in her hair.”

“And what has become of the heart of that man, now that the man is King? What has become of the heart of that man, now that he has everything?”

“The more he has, the more he holds, the greater the weight of the world on his shoulders. See how he labors beneath that load... Afraid to look up, and afraid to let go.”

“And he keeps his head low, and he keeps his back bending. He grows so afraid that he'll lose what he owns...”

“But what he doesn't know is that what he's defending is already gone...”

“Where is the man with his hat in his hands? Who stands in the garden with nothing to lose, singing: La la la la la la la...”

[hesperocyon-lesbian]

I decide to post some of that story I mentioned before. It’s not exactly at a good stopping point but it’s just where I am. I’m very open to critique. I’m new to writing this genre and I know that there’s a lot I could improve.

The salt burned in the lacerations around my wrists. I’d been bound the the rock since Astraios had coursed the sky, and Eos now marched toward the horizon with grim determination. She marked the hour of my doom. Soon I would be part of this world no longer, but instead a shade in the world below. And what had I done to merit such a demise? Nothing. I simply existed. It was the jealousy of some god that caused my plight. One could count one a single hand the number of problems for which the gods are blameless. My punishment was a case of misinterpreted hyperbole. It all happened one night at a feast. We were loose on unmixed wine. Upon our table there lay injera, with spreads of lentils, beans and chicken. Our guests of honor were Pharaoh Ramesses II of Upper and Lower Egypt and King Piyama-radu of the Hattian Kingdom of Wilusa. My father, Cepheus, had invited them to our court on the coast of Ethiopia in order to secure peace between their nations.

“My dear Cepheus,” Ramesses proclaimed in a swaggering boom of a voice, “not even my own beloved Nefertari can compare to your daughter’s beauty! The way her tightly curled locks are deftly bound behind her head puts all the women of Kemet and Kush to shame!” Declarations like this were in vogue in dimplomatic speech at the time, though very few scribes bothered to write this kind of exchange down. It was simple procedural flattery, and no one needed to see this kind of filler on a peace treaty etched in bronze.

Piyama-Radu chimed in with, “She must get it from you Cassiopeia!” though his words were interrupted by hiccups, “Truly she is more lovely than the Sun Goddess of Arinna herself.”

My mother responded to their praise in jest, “Oh without a doubt, she even outstrips the Nereids!” A chorus of laughter came up from around the table, though I laughed nervously. I’d never relished in the way men praised me. Their eyes would wander and their lips would curl into a smirk that revealed the crude thoughts dancing behind their eyes. Still, it was my role to accept the praise that was afforded to me. My name had practically anticipated the constant adoration. “Andromeda,” they had named me. Protector of men. Such a name imposed expectations upon its owner.

None of us expected what came of my mother’s boast. The gods do not always consider nuance. They are far more likely to fly into a rage at the slightest provocation. That’s what happened to practically every “lover” of Zeus. They leave a trail of bodies in their debaucherous wake. I suppose my mother should have known better than to compare me to Poseidon’s beloved Nereids. Whether or not he even considered them beautiful was irrelevant to him, for they were his possessions, and nothing mortal was permitted to surpass that which he owned. Thus he threw his tantrum. He called upon his creature, Cetus, to raze our coastline. Every day villagers came to us, begging for a way to put an end to the destruction. We had no answer. Yet my father knew. Even when the oracle told him that the only solution was my sacrifice, his face did not move. He knew but must be done but he would not accept it until the gods held the knife to his throat.Yet still for him it was just another dipomatic formality. Instead of a treaty between kings it was a treaty between a mortal and a god. Instead of sealing it with a marriage, he sealed it with a sacrifice. The two were hardly different to him.

So, there I lay, fixed upon the rock. The ropes dug into my wrists and ankles, drawing blood, and the breakers crashed barely a ten yards ahead of me, spraying salt water upon my exposed form. I had pulled my mind out of my body, as much from the humiliation as the fear. I lay bare and helpless as our kingdom watched. A sudden thud snapped me back into the moment. I could feel the vibrations through my body as another blow shook the earth. Minutes passed in that manner, feeling Cetus’ approach but never seeing it. Then finally it crested the horizon. First all I could see was its writhing mass of eyes. Some stood on short stalks like those of a crab, soulless eyes with no color to them. Some oozed on longer tendrils, like those of a snail. Finally, there were those that stood fixed in place, immense compound eyes, like those of a shrimp. All of them fixed their gaze upon me. As it grew closer I saw its mandibles. I would say there were twenty sets, but one could not tell from the way they chittered and interlocked in anticipation. It had a crab’s carapace for its body, but a slimy squid’s mantle hung limply out of the back. It walked upon what looked like crab’s legs, but they were strange and wrong. They didn’t stay stiff when they came down, but bent like cooked asparagus, causing it to bob in seemingly random directions. It had one enormous pincer on its right but a tentacle on its left, with two claws fixed to the end. It stood as tall as a mountain, yet it moved three times as fast as a ship. As it grew even nearer, some of the rocks around me began to shake to pieces, yet sadly mine held. I thought I heard my mother weep, but I must have imagined it, for the stomping drowned out all sound. When it grew so close that I could feel its slaver strike my face, I closed my eyes and prepared myself for my fate.

I expected to be whisked down to the Underworld. I wasn’t sure how it was supposed to feel, but I knew it felt like something. Yet I felt nothing. Not even its spit flying at my face. I opened my eyes. Cetus stood there, still. Too still. Its color was different, its texture smoother. Its shell glistered in the morning sun. It was stone. Its eyes were no longer fixed upon me, but rather upon a point above its head. I tracked up and saw her. The Protector. My protector. A woman, riding a winged horse. She wore a hoplite’s armor, but no helmet sat upon her head. Instead her hair blew free. Yet it did not blow. Rather, it writhed. Dozens of asps hissed and squirmed on her head. She whispered to them and they calmed, pulling back to form a slicked back look. Then she gently clicked, and the horse began to descend in circles. I knew who she was now. The Gorgon. We had heard tales of her, even as far as we lay from the Achaeans. She turned men to stone and despised all life. I shuddered as she came closer. Yet when she pulled out her knife, she used it not to slit my throat but to sever the ropes that held me.

“Im so sorry for what they’ve done to you,” she said in a comforting tone, “I can return you to them if you’d like. I know how some people love their families no matter what. I shook my head. Words stuck in my throat. “Okay, I can help you if you’ll accept. You can come with me and I’ll protect you.” Protect. It was in her name. Medusa, the Protector. From the same word as my name. I nodded. “Alright, first things first let’s get you some clothes.” She pulled a cloak from her riding pack and wrapped it gently around me. I pulled it tight and felt its soft silk embrace me. “Climb on.” She offered me her hand and I accepted, clambering onto her horse. She clicked her tongue again and he took off,beating his wings until we reached the clouds, and then gliding softly. I didn’t look back at the shores of Ethiopia.

We didn’t talk for the rest of our journey through the sky. She knew I wasn’t ready to and she didn’t mind. She understood. Whenever she looked back to check on me I could see in her eyes that she’d endured something far worse. Even if I could have asked, I wouldn’t have. By the time we landed it was nearly nightfall.We alit upon a rocky hill with a cave opening on its side. I hadn’t felt my hunger until that moment, and I began to ask, but before I even had time to speak she said, “I’ll get a fire going and make us some food. I’m sure you’re starving.” I nodded again.

I sat in the cave watching her, her face lit by the fire as she cooked a stew of beans and vegetables with goat’s milk. I wasn’t sure I’d ever seen a face like hers before. It was soft in some of the ways I’d seen in women’s faces before, yet also rough and solid. I could see a good part of the fear behind her name. Even without her gaze of stone, her face still projected control and betrayed no emotion. Yet I could feel the pain she had suffered. This changed when she brought a bowl over to me with a crust of bread to dip in it. I grinned as I began to slurp my soup and pick up the beans using the bread. It wasn’t until I’d finished eating that I looked up and saw that her expression had changed. Now she had a tender smile from cheek to cheek.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t stare,” she said, looking away.

“Please,” I said, “don’t worry. You’ve done so much for me, I don’t mind.” She looked back at my and smiled again, shyly this time. Her cheeks flushed and she looked away once more.

I laughed, “So you’re Medusa? I always heard that you were more monster than woman. So why am I sharing a meal with you instead of frozen in stone?”

“Oh that?” she laughed as well, “that only works on men. I guess the rumors spread because they’re afraid of a woman who can defend herself.” I laughed again, but more so because it was true than because of any humor. It was the same fear of a bold woman that had annihilated so many other women before her. Zeus feared Metis and so he devoured her, as if it weren’t enough that men like him are so often wont to leech a women’s life forces. Kreon executed Antigone because she defied him. It gave me comfort to know that at least Medusa had the power to fend off attackers.

“It’s a gift from Athena,” she continued, “She’s my patron goddess, she’s always looked out for me, and I’ve always honored her.”

“So why did she-”

“I don’t talk about it,” she snapped. Her face turned cold and she turned away, her snakes hissing as she did. I had never seen a woman as powerful as her before, so what could be too much for her? I didn’t really want to know. I wanted to ease her pain, but it was too dangerous, and if it was a subject she’d rather not touch, I’d respect her wishes. She sat off in the back of the cave, stroking her snakes back into place and looking down into her lap. They resisted at first but eventually calmed while I lay myself down upon the floor.

As the fire died down and I closed my eyes, I tried to fall asleep. But every time my eyes shut, an image of Poseidon’s beast flashed before and I jolted. Even with my eyes open, I couldn’t help but shiver. There was a cold breeze flowing into the cave, and my thoughts still dwelled on the helplessness I’d felt just that morning. I was so wrapped up in these thoughts that I didn’t hear her tread gently over to me. I didn’t notice anyhting until she draped over my body the linen blanket she had been carrying. I felt warmed inside, but still I jolted and shivered. She must have seen that I did so, because she began to sing to me. It was a simple verse that I’d heard Achaean merchants sing down at the docks, but never in a voice like hers. The way she spoke was rough and guarded, but now as she sang, her voiced poured out like a nightengale.

“While you live, be radient!

 Don’t worry your sweet soul

 For life is short for all of us

 And time requests its toll.”

The theme was harsh, yet somehow comforting. I may have had a brush with death today, but so must everyone eventually. While I could live I should live to my fullest and be thankful that I was alive. I don’t know when I drifted off, but when I woke up, Medusa was cooking a dish of rabbit and egg, seasoned with herbs she’d found outside. She boiled four eggs, two for each of us, and lay out the poached rabbit meat in strips on the wicker plates. As she cooked she fed a whole raw egg to one of her snakes. It unhinged its jaw and swallowed it whole, hitching its mouth along, inch by inch, until it had gone down its throat.

“Do they need to eat separately from you?” I asked.

“Good morning to you too,” she retorted, not taking her eyes off the iron pot. I supposed I had been a bit rude to lead with that but I couldn’t really help my curiosity. “And no, they don’t need to eat, I just find it helps calm them. Sometimes they seem to forget they’re a part of me.

“So they have minds of their own?”

“Honestly even after all this time I’m not quite sure. They seem to respond to my emotions but I can never control them when I’m keen to.” She fished the eggs out of the pot with a wooden spoon and brought the two plates over, handing me mine and sitting down to eat hers. It was a plain meal but the rabbit was tender, the eggs were just soft enough and everything was enhanced by her presence. She wore a light tan colored man’s chiton and a chlamys cloak over that. Her smoothed her snakes back again and I stared at her longer than I should have. I still couldn’t get over it. I’d never seen a woman like her before. The way she wore men’s clothes, the way she did up her short hair--albeit hair made of snakes. She presented herself like a man, but she was not like any man I had ever seen either. Even men who dressed exactly the same didn’t have the same influence that she had on me now. I was sure it must be her enchantment. That must factor into it somehow.