#we can be silly and crazy and post a starter call
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consider , if you will , that this were a STARTER CALL . for the low price of specifying a muse , you too , can have me write you a diddy ( likely very short & pre-est ) . capping at 4.
#❧ ⸺ you’ve gone maverick‚ maverick ! | ooc ❞#❧ ⸺ starter call ( specify muse ) ❞#i cannot stress enough : if you don't specify i won't write anything skdjcns#i figured since i knocked out a good deal of drafts#we can be silly and crazy and post a starter call
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I expect you've been asked this before, but I am so intrigued by your Hoffmanposting that I absolutely have to finally watch it. Which production would you recommend for starters?
love this question!! I am an absolute fanatic of this opera and based off of my experience with it so far, here are my thoughts for a first-time watcher.
One quick note: I won't go too much into the edits and history but it is important to mention for first-time Hoffmann viewers, to avoid some confusion. There are a few different versions of this opera, the most common being what I call "the short version" (Choudens) and "the longer version" (Oeser). it gets way more complex than that but I'll just say here that Oeser is superior and therefore always what I recommend first. there are some very good Choudens out there though that I will include.
starting with the longer version (Oeser), we have:
My #1 fave, the 2009/2015 Metropolitan Opera production, also happens to be a really good one for first-time Hoffmann viewers, for a few reasons. 1) it's a straightforward edit that has the most important parts (imo) of the story. 2) it's a really fun, but not overwhelming, production. 3) the cast is great. and 4) it's a fun take on the story that doesn't make it too crazy but stays close to the heart of the piece.(you can find the 2009 one here, and the 2015 one in three parts here, here, and here)
The 1995 La Scala production is my other favorite. It's another fun, relatively straightforward production that balances the silly and dark aspects of the opera well. another standout cast with my absolutely beloved Hoffmann and Nicklausse team, Shicoff and Mentzer. just a bit of peaking around my blog will show you how much I adore these two, so I won't gush too much here. the edit isn't quite as comprehensive as the Met one but it's still a good one. the only fault of this one is it doesn't have my favorite number, the trio des yeux, but that is pretty much my only complaint.
another great first is the 1885 Brussels one. This one is a little trickier just because it's so old the sound and image quality are kinda bad. but, it's another great one and one I talk about a lot. some really great performers in a lot of the lead roles, and though this Hoffmann isn't one of my top faves per se, his dynamic with Nicklausse here is one of my favorites.
looking at the shorter version (Choudens) which isn't as good because it cuts out quite a bit, and a lot of those cuts alter the Hoffmann/Nicklausse dynamic which I argue is the most important in the opera; as well as moving around the order of the acts in a way that doesn't really make sense. But it's still worth watching and I'd recommend these two for a first-time watch:
possibly my favorite Choudens is the 2000 Orange production. it's really atmospheric (outdoor stage!!) with another great cast. the way they stage the very end is not my favorite, but aside from that it's a really solid, fun, spooky production that's a good first-time watch. (find part one and part two here)
the Met 1988 one is another great first one. A bit odd at times but another solid cast with great dynamics (Shicoff can't be beat in this role and really brings it all together) and I really love a lot of the costumes. another straightforward production that has its quirks (and a lot of glitter in Antonia's act).
so here you go! Hopefully it's not too much. let me know if you have any questions or need clarification on anything!
one final note, since some of these don't have subtitles, and there isn't a great libretto online, I recommend taking a look at this post (mine, shameless self-plug) that has detailed synopses of the various edits. also, PLEASE come to me with questions/thoughts on any you end up watching!! and if you need help accessing any of these let me know!
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A.C.A.B.- ALL CLOUDS ARE BASTARDS.
(WHITMORE BELONGS TO SOCK.CLIP) I'm just a little fan, with little needs. with that out of the way, this is an ask/rp blog thing dedicated to the whitty FNF mod, with a pinch of "canon". i am bad at this.
no carrds here, no google drives here, no icons here. we're making this one the good old way.
welcome to this..! thing! of a blog! lol this blog was established a while ago. don't remember when. don't care too.
nothing crazy to be found in this pinned post, I'm just laying down some basics.
I wanted to bring back this blog cause it kinda... okay I can't explain it, but it means a lot to me. also real missing whitty hours. I've been busy on other blogs, and that's mainly how I noticed just how... empty the tumblr fnf rpc feels as of lately.
Nobody came to hear me mope, let's get to the good shit.
RULES
13+ ONLY! Blog will feature potentially serious or even dark themes, swearing, potential violence, psychological and/ or even generally physical struggles
(OC, canon, crossover, AU, etc friendly)
TRIGGER WARNINGS (TW) FOR: harsh language, poverty, anxiety, rage issues, existentialism, implications of physical abuse. I can tag anything if needed too.
If I haven't replied to your reply on one of my posts, it's nothing personal! It's just that I literally can't do that lol. Use them reblogs if ya wanna chat please.
Don't rush me for a roleplay thread if it ever comes to us doing one! I have my own set of problems offline, and if you can't respect that then please leave lol.
ROLEPLAY
The verse of Whitty Whitmore that I will be portraying here goes as follows: He's a rapper with talent, who just didn't get lucky. Multiple organizations are after bass now, and they travel a lot as he is constantly busy fleeing from them all. Standard stuff. Also has been attacked by a robot dragon at some point. Weird old threads will be weird and held dear.
NAME: Whitty (Whitmore)
HEIGHT: cmon. yall know this one. (8ft)
AGE: 20 something? They don't count.
GENDER: Funky. Likes nonbinary label.
PRONOUNS: He/They/It/Bass/Smoke
SEXUALITY: None with left nope. (Ace)
OTHER PREFERENCES: Biromantic(?)
PERSONALITY SUMMARY: They are... Honestly just a guy. Stressed out, sure, anxious, definitely, a lil' bit too easy to agitate, but mostly! Mostly, Bass does manage to remain invitingly timid. Still a 'bit' funked. Raised on the streets, he can and absolutely does swear without filter. It's how they remain calm usually. Can't socialize for shit otherwise, lmao.
ASKS
All is welcome! I only ask there be no content that, y'know, violates tumblr TOS lmao (Includes potentially dirty jokes or implications- Thank you in advance)
You can send M!As, random questions, bug Whitty, bug me, starters, anything. (It is preferred that we consult in some way before we jump straight to sending roleplay starters though!)
ABOUT ME: Just.. call me mod or mun tbh. Do not worry much about gender talk, though I hold a funny preference for terms like bro, dude, etc. Maybe if I establish some mutuals on here then I might come up with some silly name y'all can address me by? Idk. Maybe. lol.
I don't see a point to adding the same exact copy paste DNI section, since, as everybody here already knows: Those cannot stop the exact people they are supposed to be stopping 'cause those people incredibly likely can't even read. I still hate them, and I still will be more than thrilled to get to block them. Try me terfs lol, see what ya can get lmao.
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𝗦𝗠𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗦’𝗦 𝗙𝗢𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗥 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥
so we have finally reached 1000 followers, yay! when i originally started this blog, i never would have imagined reaching 100 let alone 1000. like that is just so crazy and i am so grateful to each and everyone of you, you all have absolutely no idea.
just a heads up, i have absolutely NO idea what i am doing because i’ve never done this type of post before lol. so like any person in this day and age... i’m just gonna wing it!
click KEEP READING to continue.
𝗠𝗨𝗧𝗨𝗔𝗟𝗦。
# – c
@ace-yeollie // @atinyinwonderland // @atiny-piratequeen // @ateezmakemeweep // @atzsslut // @baileys-aurora // @barnesbabee // @bella-hi // @blueish-sun // @chimchimchanyeolie // @cocobeannct
d – g
@daybreakx // @drippingguk
h – k
@halahala // @international-kpopfan // @jadeee-official // @kesmonster
l – o
@leeleeofthevalley // @luvteez // @milkyateez // @mingless // @needyateez // @okayjoonie
p – s
@s1ardusk // @seongghwaa // @serendipityunho // @shotosgirl // @sweetheart--sannie // @sweetlysugawaramain
t – w
@talkbykhalid // @toppklassik // @ukiyosanz// @why-kp // @vitriosan // @vocalyunho
x – z
@yeo-baby // @yeoboke // @yoonbabe-d // @yunhoway
𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗧𝗛𝗔𝗡𝗞𝗦。
@sanbadada | 🐕 | wow what i can to you without making the both of us cry lol. my first tumblr friend, i cherish you so much that you don’t even understand. if someone was to ask me who my online best friend is, i would 100% say you. i honestly never would have thought we would become friends back when i first interacted with you on tumblr months ago (i sent her a mulan meme as a conversation starter). but now, i’m so happy to have you as my friend so thank you so much.
@masterninjacow | 🎨 | your wooyoung icon never fails to make me smile whenever you appear on my dash. i’m so glad you reached out and wanted to be friends with me and i enjoy talking to you so much. i just appreciate you so much and i’m thankful to have you as a friend.
@a-tiny-8iny + @teeztheflag | 🏐 + ⛄️ | honestly just seeing you on my dash and notifications make me so happy. i love seeing both your pfp on my dash. it makes my heart swell every time i see one of you in my inbox or when you comment on one of my personal post and i honestly don’t think you both know how much i love and appreciate you both.
@atinybrew | 💍 | my tumblr wife. i am so grateful to have stumbled across your blog and got the opportunity to become friends with you. i always enjoy seeing you interacting with your anons on my dash. i’m sorry i don’t message you too often as compared to when we first met, i just don’t want to annoy you too much because i know i can get pretty annoying sometimes 😅. just know that i’m always here to support you.
@yayhei | 🌪 | . . . oh boy what do i say to you, rowan. i’m thankful every time we interact and i absolutely love talking to you. like you probably don’t understand how much i have grown to love talking to you. i love how our first interaction was fighting over mollie and our friendship has grown so much, even if you did cheat and leave me for changbin 😒. so thank you for becoming my friend!
@diorscript | 💎 | dia you were the first account i interacted with on here. i was invested with ‘the secrets we keep’ and all the memes i created for that story lol. i just wanted to say thank you for unknowingly breaking me out of my internet shell and if it wasn’t for interacting with you, i wouldn’t have even got the courage to start this blog. so thank you and welcome back!
@yeocult + @closer-stars + @barsformars | 🎏 + 💫 + 🍀 | i know we don’t talk a lot or know each other very well, but i enjoy seeing you all on my dash and interacting with you. i like talking about theories or having my mind blown because of your works. so thank you for interacting with me and being fantastic people.
ateez | 💜 | honestly, if it wasn’t for ateez i probably wouldn’t have ever gotten back into writing. i had lost motivation for writing that lasted around three years, but after getting into ateez and coming onto tumblr, i was able to get my motivation back and it’s made me extremely happy. it might sound silly or something but ateez has done a lot for me this year and i don’t think they’ll ever understand how grateful i am to them. i love all eight of them from the bottom of my heart and i also love everyone that i have been able to talk to because of them. so thank you ateez.
𝗙𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗢𝗠 𝗡𝗔𝗠𝗘。
so since reaching 1000 followers, that means i am some what relevant on here (at least on atinyblr). this gives me a right to have a fandom name to all my followers.
honestly, i’ve been thinking about this since we reached 500 and i even joked about it with my friend who encouraged me to do it.
so my fandom name is . . .
GOLDEN FRIES!
do you all get it? it’s because you all are so golden and because i have like a frye/fry theme going on with my usernames lmao. anyways, you all are called golden fries, no take backs.
𝗙𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗗𝗦。
to my mutuals, i just want to say thank you for liking me enough to follow me and have small interactions with me from time to time. i’m sorry i’m not close with a lot of you. i just have personal issues and fears of messaging new people. but i want you all to know that i’m here to support and be there for you all if you ever need me!
but i just want to say that i am really, truly grateful for everyone who comes across my blog. i’m grateful to the blogs that i read and inspired me to make my own. i’m grateful for having so many people enjoy my writing enough to want to come back to it. there’s just no words to describe how thankful i am to all of you.
so thank you from the bottom of my heart.
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Blackpink: The Album Review
Okay, this is the first time i’ve done this and the truth is i don’t know how, so i’ll just try my best.
First of all: I am a Jennie biased blink. That means I have no trustworthy sense of criticism when it comes to them and if you do, this is probably not the place for you. I will try to talk about this album with a sense of criticism, but sometimes, i’m just gonna like a song because it’s blackpink and y’all just gotta deal with it.
BUT, I am not afraid of saying i don’t like things that the pinks have said it to like, which is actually how i’m starting this review. So, if you guys are all about loving the girls and emotion and “think about how they must feel” this is a decision made by the girls, this place is also not for you either. I am a blink and i share a lot of love for those four women, but i am also a consumer of their work as artists. I will complain if I didn’t get something I thought was necessary as a viewer and listener for my money and attention to be spent. I will not, of course, hate on them in any way.
Ok, before anything:
1) English isn’t my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. 2) Here, we’re gonna talk about the cover, pre-release single choices, writing credits, tracklist and my honest opinion about the album as a whole.
a) The Cover:
There’s not a lot to talk about but the fact that it’s gorgeous, but simple. I didn’t understand why a crown if the name was The Album (something unoriginal to be honest, but i’m not 100% against it) and there’s no reference to royalty throughtout the album besides maybe Jennie’s rap “didn’t want to be a princess”. I did find the cover visually pleasing tho, could be much more embarrasing.
b) Writing credits and Track List:
This one is quick. I’m extremely glad Jennie and Jisoo were credited as songwriters (Jennie as well as a composer) but Teddy gotta give Danny Chung to god. He hates rapper Jennie and he’s the reason Lisa doesn’t write. He’s always in charge of the raps so teddy gets confortable and Lisa doesn’t get a chance to write her own verses, which is something the sure thing cover showed us she can do. Also, he hates rapper Jennie to the point where she had to write her rap on the title track (wich is good, but, you know what i mean) and wasnt even given a chance to write more than 8 seconds. Melanie I hope this is the last time you were here. Loren you can stay. Tommy and Ryan yall were cute we had fun but it’s over let’s move one (seriously, these producers really made me appreciate Teddy more lmao pls sir never leave us). Okay that’s it. Now, to the track list.
I will be talking about the fact this shouldn’t even be called a full album on the My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole topic.
1. How You Like That
I say my opinion more detailed on the next topic but at at essence. Cute. A good opener to the album and what is to come, but too much of a bside to even be a pre release single.
6.5/10
2. Ice Cream
Again, my opinion it’s on the next topic. Cute song. Loved Chaennie’s high notes and wish i didn’t know english so the rap didnt sound that silly. Not as bad as blinks and non blinks make it out to be.
6.12/10
3. Pretty Savage
I kinda also talked about that in the next topic lmao. It has everything a blackpink song should have. There’s been some controversy about Lisa “born skinny bitch” but Lisa was talking about herself since she has been body shamed through her whole career. She was right and she should say it. You’re entitled to feel uncomfortable but that’s just the thing she wasn’t talking about me or you. She was taking her pain and wearing like an armor. This was a diss track for the haters. Taking that away from her because of our own issues it’s kinda mistreating hers.
8.82/10
4. Bet You Wanna
Yes you guessed it right I talk more about it next topic. It’s a bop. Loved Jennie here. She has such a versatile voice I was very proud to hear her. And Cardi was also good. Just hope Lisa will get her rap part live cause she didn’t have much lines here. But I loved Jenlisa’s brigde. Rosé’s adlibs peak perfection and Jisoo’s chorus and english that’s what i’m talking about. The chorus can be a little repetitive and it kinda ends a bit suddenly but it doesnt bother me much.
8.37/10
5. Lovesick Girls
WHAT TO SAY ABOUT THIS MASTERPIECE OTHER THAN BEST BLACKPINK TITLE TRACK? Love that for me. It was so different than anything they’ve done so far, the lyrics were AMAZING, the message behind it also, the visuals in the MV, storylinne, RAPPER JENNIE OMG, she got the most memorable line “didn’t want to be a princess, i’m priceless” i love her tf the shade to the yg princess title and her scene in the car and in the mental hospital(will not touch on the controversies cause that was annoying) also Lisa’s rap/singing with a flow in the begining her voice OMG I WAS SHOOKEDT. Jisoo’s high note in the brigde? Rosé?? perfect.
10/10
6. Crazy Over You
Rapper Jennie for the last time with a 8 second rap again but LET’S BE POSITIVE. A bop. I loved the i. went. crazy. over. you. I love the lyrics. It bother a bit this much english but it’s bp’s idendity so i’m fine with it.
8.5/10
7. Love To Hate Me
This was a predictable song in the best possible way. Easily one of their best songs. There’s honestly nothing left to say. Also. Lisa’s rap. Maybe Danny Chung deserves some points. It even felt like she was a feat in the song like her flow yall just perfection.
9.4/10
8. You Never Know.
Great song I left with depression.
I like how this album talks with haters and blinks, it really shows a different side from the pinks. Only a few know the emotion Jennie starting off “but you never know unless you walk in my shoes [...] cause everybody sees what they wanna see, it’s easier to jugde it than to believe”. It was written by Loren, a close friend from the girls and the boy who’s Jenlichaeng boyfriend in the LSG’s MV and Bekuh Boom, a producer who’s been with them for really long, but if anyone got a conspirancy theory that they were involved in the songwriting process of the song, sign me up. You don’t need proves. I believe you. ALSO JISOO GOT MOST LINE ON THIS ONE and we got singer Lisa. After a while, it become my favorite song from the album. Now, it’s my favorite song from their discography. Debate your mother.
9.62/10
c) Pre-Release single Choices:
I can’t stress about this enough. Whoever was in charge for the single choices needs to go to jail. Not that HYLT is bad (at all) but comparing to the rest of the songs, it look MUCH more like a powerful bside than Love To Hate Me and Pretty Savage ever will. I will lecture later how Pretty Savage was the perfect choice to first release single, just wait. Now, to the controversial Ice Cream. To be honest, i found the song super cute and i think the MV was one of their best. It was different and refreshing, love that for me. But the whole sequence of events that turned out to that disasterous twitter timeline, with constant attacks to the girls especially Lisa over things they cannot control such as line distribuition and a sabotage from antis on yt comment section, was something I kinda already saw it coming. Ice Cream is Blackpink’s most successful single to date, but it was a bad choice from the start (I will talk about that in a second). For starters, YG decided not to promote the song well. While announcing the single, they gave us a poster with pictures from a summer package released months before. And each week they kept doing that, only using actual teaser photos in the release week. The hype was pretty much out. I can’t say my timeline is 100% blink because i have way too many fandoms that i’ve been following for longer than i’ve known kpop, but compared to the HYLT hype, they were pretty down and that’s on YGE. Also, ever since coachella, it’s been antecipated by fans and artists the possibility of a Blackpink x Ariana Grande (one of the most popular singes these last couple of years). The idea of an Aripink collab got blinks (who were already with an eye wide open after Blackpink was seen with Tommy Brown, Ari’s basically oficial producer, who has been producing for her ever since her second album and was reponsible for many hits of her latest project, Thank U, Next, such as 7 rings and Thank U, Next) even more hyped when YG announced (one of those old photoshoot posters. I’m sorry I will never let that go that company is so trash) that Blackpink’s second release was going to be a collaboration with a western artist, and Ariana herself like Jennie’s instagram post about the next single. I cannot put in words the reaction of my twitter timeline when YG confirmed that the collab was actually with Selena Gomez.
Now, on a more personal note.
You see, I actually like Selena. I like her songs, besides the critics. Perfect is pop perfection. Waverly Place is the best disney show ever since That’s So Raven. But, to a collab made to the US market, and besides the success of Rare, Selena isn’t a sales force like Adele or Taylor Swift, nor a streaming force like Ariana Grande. Nothing takes my theory that this was supposed to be an aripink collab but, for some reason, she dipped and then interscope (blackpink us label and selena’s label) picked her. Selena showed us a good time and promoted the girls more than YGE did but, it wasn’t a surprise when the song didn’t get a top 10 (a top 13 is really good tho, don’t get me wrong).
Now back to the story telling
Selena was more than a feat, she sang the whole damn song, getting more vocal lines the the entire vocal line. She’s only a few seconds behind Lisa, who got the most lines in general. I understand that it is a collab, but this is the girls’ single. Why would they want to listen to them for only 16 seconds, the amount of time Rosé got? That set a bunch of solo stans (something that exists more in this fandom than everywhere else) to boycoitt the release, a huge fansite even taking out their funds for the full album (that was low, even for a solo account. JisooBar, you aint seeing heaven). Did i think it was a little of overeacting? As someone who’s an army that had to handle Not Today’s line distribuition, and especially since we’re talking about the main vocalist, someone who will for sure have more lines in the future (as she did), kinda. But, like i said, it was a bomb getting ready to explode at any minute. If it wasn’t that it’d be something else. That being said, NOTHING will ever justify the nastyness y’all did with Lisa and even Jennie’s comment section. Nothing. That was ridiculous even for solo stans. BUT for people who got worried about Lisa’s lack of posts after the release, don’t worry. She didn’t post a lot because Thailand is going through some stuff and I don’t think she has YGe’s permission to talk about it (when I catch the ones in power on that company istg).
Wow, that was long. At essence, it was a bad choice for several reasons, but i enjoyed the song a lot. Can’t wait for the live performances with chaesoo’s lines.
Now, back to HYLT. It was greatly promoted, it stopped Zico’s (huge in korea) releases and a bunch of other big artists in South Korea. Got 7 Perfect All-Kills and would’ve gotten more than 12 if the charts weren’t reforming at the time. It also broke a lot of records, and repeated Sour Candy’s position on the bb100 on #33. It’s another very Blackpink song that I enjoyed but kinda aged. Many non blinks didn’t like it but it’s not like they were ever going to admit they liked a bp song. They’re annoying. The song’s biggest problem is probably the 2015 edm in the chorus. Like. Teddy. You gotta let that go. It’s time. He kinda heard us in the album. But, these kinds of songs are very liked by the general public, especially the korean one. An interview was made asking the general public if blackpink should change concepts and they said a bit fat no. So that tells what you need to know. And that it why i think Pretty Savage should have been the first pre release single.
Okay, let me tell you another series of event. Back on november 2019, when we were starving because YGe does not like money, BlackpinkBar, a big fansite, payed trucks to be sent to YG building during a whole day demanding for better treatment to Blackpink. You can find all the demands online, but at essence, when it came to music related, blinks always mention: Jisoo’s lines, screen time and blackpink in your area, Main Rapper Jennie, Lisa dance break, Rosé’s high note. On HYLT, we got nothing. And everyone had to shrug it off saying it was just a pre release single, BUT it would be better hyped by blink and the hype to the second pre release would’ve lasted longe if PRETTY SAVAGE, who has basically all of that, was the pre release single. It would’ve assured us of so much. Jisoo said bp in your area twice, she RAPPED, she was singing, she could’ve had more screetime and center time especially bc she’s on all chorus. Jennie Main Rapper would go back and we wouldn’t have to be blue balled (which caused the ice cream meltdown)every single release and only having to wait till the title track and only to have a 8 SECOND RAP. I won’t talk about that now. Moving on. Rosé wouldn’t get a high note, but she would’ve gotten the brigde all to herself and the next pre release single, bet you wanna (wait for it), she would get those incredible adlibs. And Lisa’s dance break. Not only this is bp’s most danceable song and has a bunch of lisa’s raps, it also has jennie’s outro, where for a least 20 seconds lisa could’ve thrived. Yall we were robbed.
Now, real quick, back to Ice Cream. In a perfect world (or just a world where YG’s current ceo) had brains, if they wanted a collaboration to show the pink side of blackpink, with a poppy song and sassy lyrics, the artist not to be in the whole song, and to have an artist who would driven attention from the locals and is a big streaming force, THEY WOULD’VE CHOSEN BET YOU WANNA. My biggest problem with bet you wanna is Lisa’s lack of lines, which could cause stuff and well we just miss her they could have added a rap even for 8 seconds, BUT, seeing her all around pretty savage and knowing she’s gonna have Cardi’s rap during live performances would cool things down. Since we were in the middle of a pandemic, instead of a mv like ice cream where they had to do it separately, they could’ve done something like IU’s eight. A huge part in animation and a few with people. Literally YG why are you so dumb. Bye.
d) My Honest Opinion About The Album As A Whole:
I did some math (lol) and my rank for The Album is 8.4. It’s easily one of the best releases from this year and I loved it so much, but something were left to be desired and i think i could pass everything and just turn a blind eye at things, except one: the fact we waited for 4 years, watched all ggs and yg groups getting comebacks last semester and only got 8 songs. Loona is releasing a mini album with that amount of songs. Stray Kids and BTS’s mini albums are longer than that. It was bad enough KTL had 4 songs and a remix (a joke) with 2 songs lacking raps and no rapper jennie only for them to carry YG’s dirty name after what their protected boys did. I legit hate it here they didn’t even had 30 minutes, their longest song wasn’t even 4 minutes. Also, before anyone says anything about the girl’s interview about quality over quantity. I’d like to say that i understand them having that when it comes to have one comeback a year and i’m honestly okay with that. But their first full album? 8 songs? Are you kidding me? Like I said, I’m a consumer. I refuse to receive this half assed excuse about quality over quantity when they had more than enough time to produce and write more than 8 quality songs? what, is impossible to write more than one song per moth? these songs have formulas, they can be made more than 8 times. A blackpink album its more than a thousand reals here. That 90% of a sallary. And please don’t come with the “if you don’t want it just don’t buy it” “you can just unstan them” bc that’s not the case. I love their songs. I love the girls. But I’m a consumer of their art and if they want to be takend seriously as artists, they gotta do more than 8 songs on a full album. It’s unfair to anyone that isn’t a diehard fan willing to sell out an overpriced photobook in hours. That’s not the only kind of fan blackpink needs. they need the store locals, the people who are not on twitter or tumblr or instagram. Cause those locals are gonna stay like they stayed with adele and taylor swift. stan twitter is much more likely to leave them with time.
Side note: I’m tired of commenting on rapper Jennie so I’ll just say Jennie deserves better than 8 second raps as the main rapper of the group. That doesnt mean I want Lisa to not rap or to Jisoo not to sing, as many will say bc apparently that’s what people hear when we say main rapper who trained for 6 years to be a main rapper should rap on at least most title tracks even if not on all songs.
But yeah, that’s it. Besides the unfortunate final note, I loved The Album and now Blackpink it’s my second most listened artist of all time. They were top 13 before the album.
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@hyugainterior said: (3 and 8!)
The Mun and RP || Open!
What current rp trend do you hate?
[One I haven't talked about before? I'm not even sure. Overformatting with all the bells and whistles that just makes the posts hard to read and do nothing but detract from the content is the biggest one. A little bit here and there is fine but once you get all this weird spacing, ampersands, seven block quotes, and whatever else, it just gets to be an eyesore. It's about balance with that shit tbh. Keep it simple.]
Name any three things about the rpc that bother you.
[Ffff there are so many. I'll try to hit on stuff I haven't before but I'm sure I've probably touched on most things that annoy me.
Call out culture. Whether it's making a call out post about someone or going around to people's inboxes and telling them that they should not interact with so and so for x reason. If you have a problem and feel your friends need to know about something going on, talk to them privately. Let them make their own decisions. Mob mentality is a thing that anyone can fall victim too, and call out bs is just gross and unnecessary. Turning a whole community against someone when you legit have one side of the story is shitty af. Speaking from experience, people make mistakes. It's not a cool place to be in that you make one dumb decision in an emotional state (which applies to me if you wanted to know), you write something others deem inappropriate, or whatever else people like to call others out for and then end up blacklisted by an entire community. If you don't like a thing someone did, unfollow and/or block. If it is something that is ACTUALLY harmful to others and you want to let your friends know, do it in private. There is no need for some stupid immature bs that just causes unneeded drama, not only for those involved, but also for those just trying to enjoy themselves on this hellsite.
Related, purity culture. This one is probably bigger than callout culture these days, though they typically go hand in hand. Listen. Role-playing is legit writing fiction. FICTION. Fiction and real life, what fiction is based on, contain problematic shit (CRAZY). Just because someone writes a topic that isn't all sunshine and rainbows or is taboo in some way does not mean they're into it PERSONALLY. Muse does not equal mun and vice versa. Writing a murderous tyrant does not mean you support murderous tyrants irl. Headcanoning or writing about sexual abuse or any abuse does not mean someone condones it. If it were the case, we would be up in arms and silencing like every fiction writer out there. It's really just a silly and immature way to approach role-playing and writing of any kind. No one is forcing you to read everything on your dash. Most people tag things that are sensitive. Blacklist shit or unfollow. Don't start some kind of purity campaign because you don't like to read about x, y, or z.
To get off the same topic, something that bothers me and if it is excessive will end up in a quiet unfollow is constantly pandering and guilt tripping for asks, interaction, etc. I get it. I’m sure we’ve all fallen victim to doing it at least once. We get on here to interact. We worked hard on our characters to roleplay with them and interact with other characters. However, nobody is typically going to change the fact that they aren’t sending you asks or answering your starter calls or what have you when you whine about it. In my experience, it’s best to just find a few regulars you like to rp with and stick to them. Go outside that bubble whenever you feel like it, but there is no real reason to get butthurt about people not interacting with you.
Oh. And that shit goes two ways. I don’t know how many times I’ve seen these complainers complaining and yet...I never see them sending asks to other people. I never see them answering to open starters. It’s a two way street, folks.
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If you're still taking fic-requests: (Kirito x Eugeo)Could you write something about Eugeos reaction when he sees Kirito with his female avatar in GGO the first time?
I hope I didn’t take too long, anon! There’s been crazy things happening! Aaah. I’ve been reposting these on AO3, so I’ll post it there, too! (One-shot under the cut).
Unlikethe world he came from, this world was filled with grey. Everything was hard,metallic, and gave off this feeling that if it were a real environment, itmight be difficult to breathe. It had been alarming, to put it mildly, to bebrought out of the Underworld and placed in what Kirito called the “real world”so suddenly—culture shock, strange technology, a lack of sacred arts, and otheroddities had overwhelmed Eugeo. But this. This was taking it a step furtherthan that shock. And Kirito wasn’t presently here to assist him.
Besidehim stood a girl with mint-colored hair. Her name was Sinon in this world. InKirito’s world, her name was Asada Shino and her hair was almost as dark ashis. He’d almost not recognized her in this form, but when her mouth opened, heknew instantly that he’d found the right person. She smiled gently at him.
“It seemslike you figured out how to dive okay,” she said. ���I’m presuming Kirito gaveyou the rundown. Do you want me to help you get a suitable starter gun andpractice shooting at some targets?”
Eugeoshook his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to learn, but the point of divinginto this game was mostly for Kirito, not for his friend. He still didn’t knowthis girl too well. Going off and doing things without Kirito seemed weird. Shemight be the veteran player of Gun Gale Online, but he still felt morecomfortable with Kirito around.
“I-If it’salright with you, I’d like to wait for Kirito before we run off,” he said.
Sinongave him a curious look, but she nodded.
“Okay,”she said. “He seems to be running a bit late. Maybe he’s caught up with somehomework.”
That madeEugeo giggle a bit. School-related tardiness didn’t seem much like Kirito, especiallyif it wasn’t related to swords. He wondered if there was a school subject inthe real world that really captured his attention as much as sword forms hadback in the Underworld. But either way, his tardiness left this awkward space whereEugeo and Sinon were forced to talk. He had to find something to discuss.
“So…youlook different in this world,” Eugeo said. “Does Kirito look very different?”
Atthis, she let out a chuckle.
“Well,he’s at least still dressed in all black, if that helps,” Sinon said. “You lookpretty much the same as your real face. How did you manage that?”
Heshrugged.
“ThenKirito should be easy to pick out!” he said.
Sinonsmirked.
“Do youwant me to tell you, or do you want to try and pick him out when he heads overhere?” she asked.
The wayshe put it made it sound like something looked very off about how Kirito lookedin this world. It clearly amused her. Maybe he’d play along with this game andtry to guess which person was Kirito before he walked over here. The troublewas that most of the people milling around this area seemed to be big,tough-looking men. Eugeo certainly hoped Kirito wouldn’t have an appearancelike that. Since he knew the game randomly selected how you looked, he shouldn’tbe looking for someone that looks exactly like him.
“Is theheight about the same?” he asked.
Shehummed, as if considering if that would be a giveaway or not for a moment. Thenshe smiled at him and winked.
“Slightlyshorter,” she said.
Hefrowned. That wasn’t very helpful. All of the men in the vicinity looked prettytall. As he skimmed the crowd, a player walked right up to them and waved,flashing a friendly smile. From the way the avatar looked, Eugeo presumed the playerwas a girl. Long, flowing black hair. A slender, delicate-looking frame. Bigeyes with pronounced eyelashes. Dressed in—
“No.”
“What?”Sinon asked.
Eugeoshook his head.
“You’remessing with me, this can’t be him!”
Theavatar in front of him tilted their head and frowned.
“Issomething wrong, Eugeo?”
That voiceunmistakably belonged to Kirito. Eugeo didn’t know how to react to this. Helooked like a woman. It was so convincingly female that he was almost unable tohandle the fact that it was Kirito’s voice coming out of that mouth instead ofa higher-pitched one. When he opened his mouth, finally, he did his part not tobe rude.
“Well,I was just thrown off, this doesn’t seem to be your preferred look,” he said.
It wasan honest assessment. Kirito didn’t like to be referred to as feminine.
“It wasa random roll, okay?” he muttered. “But that stats are decent enough that Ikept it.”
Eugeolaughed. Now that sounded more likeKirito. He reached over and grasped Kirito’s hand, giving him a smile.
“Youlook ridiculous,” he said.
Kiritogrumbled about something and stared at the ground. Sinon rolled her eyes andpointed in the direction of a building behind her.
“Alright,did ya’ll log on to flirt or are we going to go and get Eugeo some starterequipment that’s way better than what he’s currently wearing?” she asked. “Becauseif you’re going to just stand there and flirt, I can go clear a dungeon orsomething.”
Kiritoperked back up, ready to defend himself.
“I’llhave you know that I can flirt andhelp Eugeo get sorted out at the same time!” he said.
Shakinghis head, Eugeo followed Kirito and Sinon into the building as they bickeredover this and that. He wasn’t really focused on what they were saying. He wastoo busy gazing at Kirito’s avatar. He had to admit, he didn’t look bad likethis. Some of his hair slipped in front of his ear. Eugeo reached over andgently tucked it back in place. Kirito stopped and turned to look at Eugeo,blushing.
“Y-youdon’t have to do that,” he said.
Eugeosmiled.
“Longhair looks good on you,” he said.
Kirito’sblushing intensified.
“Youthink so?” he said.
Frombehind them, Sinon huffed pointedly.
“Boys,would you PLEASE hurry up?” she said.
Theyboth turned their heads in her direction, blinking at her.
“Honestly,would you rather just log out and go flirt somewhere else?” she muttered. “I’vegot better things to do if you two want to just go on a silly little datetogether.”
Kiritofrowned.
“We’re coming,Si—”
Eugeoplaced a hand on Kirito’s shoulder.
“Actually,you can go on a head, Sinon,” he said.
Raisinghis brow, Kirito gave Eugeo a funny look as he kept talking.
“We’llcatch up with you later. Kirito and I will do fine on our own. Don’t worryabout us, okay?”
Sherolled her eyes, but she nodded at Eugeo’s words and hurried off back into the city.Her only comment back was that she had better not come back to find Eugeo also wielding a photon sword. The momentshe was out of sight, Eugeo turned to Kirito and gave him a quick peck on thecheek.
“Evendressed like this, you’re cute,” he admitted.
Kiritofrowned.
“Areyou messing with me because you’re secretly internally laughing?” he asked.
Shakinghis head, Eugeo took both of Kirito’s hands in his and flashed him hisbrightest smile. Now, they were alone and he didn’t have to feel as awkwardaround Sinon.
“Whydon’t you show me how to play, then?” he asked, diverting the topic.
Hereceived a smirk that told him the topic would be reopened later.
“Alright,”Kirito said. “Let’s get you some armor. Maybe we can make you look super cuteand girly, too!”
“Wha—Kirito!”
Hesilently prayed that that wouldn’t be the case.
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Toy Story: Why I Love Chucky - Quill’s Scribbles
Yes! Yes! Yes! I know you’re waiting impatiently for me to continue reviewing Doctor Who and I will get back to it, I promise. But the trailer for Orion Pictures Child’s Play reboot was released yesterday and I want to take a moment to talk about quite possibly one of the weirdest horror franchises ever made.
My long term followers will know that I’m not really a fan of gory horror films due to the fact that I’m a grade A wuss whose backbone went on holiday to Barcelona in 1996 and never returned. However, as squeamish as I am at the sight of blood, I don’t mind gore so much if it’s in a comedic context. It’s why I don’t find the gore in Deadpool frightening. It’s cartoony and over the top, knowingly poking fun at other violent superheroes like Wolverine and the Punisher. The same is true of the Evil Dead films. Yes they’re violent, but there’s also a camp silliness to them that relieves the tension. The Child’s Play franchise is different in that the first three films (the first Child’s Play in particular) are intended to be straightforward horror films. A serial killer transferring his soul into a child’s toy and killing people. And yes, that is really scary... but... it’s a child’s toy.
It was this that allowed me to get into the Child’s Play movies. Yes it’s gory. Yes it’s often frightening. But it’s also downright hilarious.
I mean just listen to the premise. A serial killer called Charles Lee Ray, aka Chucky, uses a voodoo spell he just happens to have learnt to transfer his soul into a doll in order to escape from the cops. Then rather than do something sensible like keep a low profile, he instead chooses to start killing the family who bought him. Then, weirder still, he tries to transfer his soul into Andy Barclay, the boy who owns the doll, and that’s his motive for each subsequent movie because Andy is the first person to learn the secret of Chucky and therefore is the only eligible body Chucky can possess. Oh yeah, and if Chucky doesn’t possess Andy, then the doll will become more human and his soul will be trapped in it forever.
I mean... what can you possibly say to that? It’s so odd and random, it practically borders on self parody. Which is fortunate because that’s EXACTLY what the franchise ends up doing!
After Child’s Play 3, the next two films in the franchise, Bride Of Chucky and Seed Of Chucky, veer heavily into horror comedy territory. We’re introduced to Chucky’s girlfriend Tiffany, played by Jennifer Tilly, who also gets her soul transferred into a doll and the two try to possess the bodies of an eloping couple. Then at one point in the film, the two dolls have sex... somehow... and at the end Tiffany gives birth to a ventriloquist dummy called Glen.
But wait. That’s just Bride Of Chucky. Seed Of Chucky is even weirder.
So Glen reunites with Chucky and Tiffany in Hollywood and the three of them try to possess, I shit you not, Jennifer Tilly. Yes. The actual Jennifer Tilly. They also kidnap her chauffeur for Chucky and for Glen they need a baby to possess, so Tiffany gets Chucky to masturbate and then inseminates Jennifer Tilly with a turkey baster.
Oh, and then it turns out Glen has a split personality called Glenda who has inherited all of Chucky’s murderous impulses because this film isn’t weird enough already. The plan completely falls apart however when Chucky refuses to give up being a serial killer in order to raise a family, wanting to now stay as a doll forever, Tiffany dies and Glen kills Chucky. Five years later, Jennifer Tilly gives birth to twins, Glen and Glenda, and she then kills the nanny, revealing that Tiffany managed to transfer her soul into Jennifer’s body after all. So Jennifer Tilly is playing Tiffany playing Jennifer Tilly.
Yes, I know. It’s stupid. It’s crazy. It’s convoluted as fuck. These films make absolutely no sense whatsoever... and I LOVE them!
I know there are die hard Child’s Play fans who really don’t like Bride and Seed, but I personally adore them. They are just so unashamedly daft, it’s hard not to enjoy yourself watching them. I think what helps is that the central premise itself is inherently silly, so it makes sense to dive headfirst into the ridiculous comedy of it all, and Bride and Seed seem to take the Gremlins 2 route of being satires of horror sequels rather than being actual horror sequels. Hell, Chucky basically gives up his quest to find a human body and chooses to stay as a doll simply because it’s a good marketing gimmick. How can you not love that kind of tongue in cheek self awareness?
Bride and Seed are canon by the way. I’m not even joking. The next two movies have narrative ties to them. Tiffany even shows up in Curse Of Chucky, still in Jennifer Tilly’s body, and the writer Don Mancini has said that Glen/Glenda will be coming back too.
After Seed Of Chucky, Child’s Play went the straight to DVD route, but unlike most straight to DVD movies, Curse Of Chucky and Cult Of Chucky were actually surprisingly good. These films go back to the original Child’s Play’s darker horror roots, but manage to maintain the self aware humour of Bride and Seed. They’re not as funny as those films, but they’re still really entertaining and really suspenseful, as well as adding interesting lore to the franchise. In Curse Of Chucky, the family he’s terrorising turn out to have been old friends of his until he killed them and severely injured a heavily pregnant Sarah, which caused the main character Nica to be a paraplegic and is actually the crime Chucky was running away from in the first film before transferring his soul into the doll. After that, in Cult Of Chucky, we see a now grown up Andy Barclay return and we’re introduced to the idea that Chucky somehow managed to transfer his soul into multiple dolls. I haven’t the faintest idea how that works, but it honestly leads to some of the funniest scenes in the movie, so I’m not complaining. It’s also nice to see a horror film set in a mental hospital that doesn’t make mentally ill people the bad guys. Oh and Kyle, Andy’s step sister from the second film, comes back in a post credits scene to torture the original Chucky doll, so that should be interesting.
And that’s the original Child’s Play movies. They’re intense, frightening, silly, farcical and utterly enjoyable. I’m not in any way suggesting they’re groundbreaking movies, but they’re unique in that they’re a real oddity in the slasher genre and have managed to carve a nice little niche for themselves.
In my opinion, two things contribute to Child’s Play’s success. The first is Brad Dourif as Chucky. He’s amazing. A maniacal, charismatic performance that’s both frightening and hysterical in equal measure. Like Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger, Dourif has become intrinsically linked to the character. You can’t imagine anyone else playing him. The second is the franchise’s creator Don Mancini. Unlike the vast majority of horror franchises that are often ripped away from their original creators and become little more than shallow cash cows for movie studios, Don Mancini has managed to keep hold of the rights to Chucky. He has written every single movie and directed Seed, Curse and Cult. He’s like the Doug Naylor of horror movies. He created this franchise, he loves this franchise, he got the franchise through its various rough patches and when he became sick of studio interference, he just went ‘fuck it’ and decided to make his own Chucky films instead. So there is a consistent narrative voice throughout all the films, which is rare not just for horror films, but films in general. Films, especially sequels, are often passed from screenwriter to screenwriter before being approved for production, so to have a franchise authored entirely by one person makes Chucky stand out. It’s what made the bizarre comedy in Bride and Seed feel less alien to the much darker Child’s Play trilogy and the straight to DVD movies. They’re clearly written by the same person and use a similar foundation to build off of. It’s this that also makes the films unique. Franchises, especially horror franchises, tend to grow stale as they end up just rehashing the same material over and over. Child’s Play looked like it was going in that direction, but then Bride Of Chucky came out and the franchise took a complete left turn, taking both the story and the audience in a new direction we weren’t expecting. It’s Don Mancini’s willingness to experiment and try new things and take risks that has allowed the franchise to continue this long and maintained people’s interest. We want to know what happens next. We want to see what the next weird thing is going to be.
Speaking of which...
Yes, not even Chucky could escape from Hollywood’s obsession with rebooting 80′s movies rather than coming up with their own ideas. Yesterday we got our first look at the new Child’s Play movie, which... Yeah.... Looks okay, I guess.... So lets talk about it.
For starters, there’s some confusion as to how this movie even exists. Just to be clear, this film isn’t canon to the original movies and Don Mancini’s version of Chucky is still going to continue. In fact this is the first Chucky film where Mancini isn’t involved, which should tell you everything you need to know about this movie in and of itself. I’ve been looking into how all this works. Apparently MGM hold the rights for Child’s Play, but Mancini holds the rights for Chucky. So Mancini can still make Chucky films. He just can’t call them Child’s Play. And MGM can still make Child’s Play films. They just can’t use all the voodoo magic stuff. (I think that’s how it works. If someone wants to correct me, feel free).
So the new Child’s Play doesn’t have a serial killer trying to transfer his soul into a little boy. Instead we have a rogue AI terrorising a family whose son looks far too old to be playing with dolls anyway.
This does not feel like Child’s Play... and yet, strangely, it is.
When Mancini first came up with the idea for Chucky, he envisioned it as a satire on commercialism. How the modern world has become obsessed with objects and possessions, using Chucky to represent our own materialist culture attacking us. Obviously that’s not what the films ended up being, but just like how the the Nightmare On Elm Street remake resurrected Wes Craven’s original idea of Freddy Krueger being a paedophile as opposed to a child killer, the Child’s Play reboot seems to be playing around with this idea too. You could argue there is a commentary to be made about how dependant we’ve gotten not just on commercialism, but smart AI as well. And no, I’m not talking Skynet or the Terminator. I’m talking about something on a more intimate scale. In this digital age we live in, nearly everything is connected to the internet. Our TVs, our phones, our computers, our cars, our electricity meters and, yes, even our children’s toys. Giving Chucky power over the wifi, making him representative of our dependency on technology and how much AI has become entrenched into our society, could be a really scary idea to explore and it gives this reboot some real legitimacy.
But here’s the thing. The idea of smart technology running amok as a way of commenting on our over-reliance on it is a great idea for a horror movie in and of itself. But does it really need Chucky? Or are they just using brand recognition to get bums on seats?
Earlier I said that Hollywood prefers to reboot old movies rather than come up with their own ideas. The truth is there are plenty of new ideas in Hollywood. They just don’t want to take a risk on a new IP. So they’ll take an existing brand and tie it into the new idea in the hopes that it’ll get people interested, rather than trusting in both the creative team behind the idea and the audience to go and watch the bloody thing. It’s a really annoying trend that needs to stop. Once upon a time, Chucky was an original idea that someone took a risk on. Now it’s a profitable franchise in its own right and it’s still going strong. The same is true of Star Wars and Harry Potter and many other popular franchises. We can’t keep returning to the same well. If we do, the industry will become stagnant and audiences will eventually get bored. Studios need to take risks in order to find the next Star Wars. The next Harry Potter. The next Chucky.
I’ll still go and see the reboot. Mark Hamill is no Brad Dourif, but he’s an amazing voice actor in his own right and I’m sure he’ll be good in the role. And who knows? Maybe the film will be really good and reinvent the wheel. I just don’t understand why this needs to be associated with Chucky when it’s premise would work just as well, if not better, without him.
Fortunately, regardless of what happens with this reboot, the original Chucky will continue. A TV series is currently in development as well as a sequel to Cult Of Chucky and plans for a crossover with Nightmare On Elm Street tentatively called Child’s Play On Elm Street (I confess I haven’t seen any of the Elm Street films, but having watching the Chucky movies and from what I know of Freddy Krueger, that just seems like a match made in heaven. I can’t wait to see it). Don Mancini will be continuing to write for the franchise for the foreseeable future and I’m excited to see what’s in store for Chucky. It may not be the greatest horror franchise ever made, but it’s definitely the most unique and creative.
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Speaking of that tier list, I made a tier list, a personal ranking of the Homestuck characters. Nothing definitive or objective. Feel free to comment on it, or send me your own tier lists for me to judge.
I’m gonna put the rest below a “read more” just because, after writing it, I’m realizing it’s insanely long so I’m not gonna dump this monster of a text post without a nice little cut-off point. I encourage you to read more, but you don’t have to.
I’ll start from the bottom and go up.
For starters, I think the bottom tier is pretty much objective and inarguable.
F. This tier is reserved for characters I consider to be failures. Personally, I feel like HIC is just not a very satisfying “main antagonist” for the trolls; I don’t specifically mean that she didn’t fullfil her role well, like other characters in this tier; it’s a good base for alternians to have a tyrannical ruler who was responsible for throwing their society into the fucked up mess it is. However, as for HIC herself, she feels very lacking. She’s greedy and merciless. That’s it. She’s merciless because she’s greedy. That’s about the extent of her depth. The same goes for Meenah, they’re basically the same characters. She had some potential to grow with (Vriska), however, the fact that she simply decides to abandon (Vriska), while it does serve to show how HIC is inherently merciless, damns her to F-tier. I’ll admit that I may have a negative bias to the troll-sprites, but they always felt like an insult to the people who were upset at the deaths of the trolls. The ones that aren’t effectively silent no longer represent their own characters, and just feel like a suppliment to the character they’re fused to; Erisol is a little funny, but is otherwise inneffectual. Fefeta seems like an intentional insult to the people upset by both Nepeta and Feferi’s deaths to just have her permanently mute for no reason. Davepeta never really felt too much like Nepeta, just a continuation of Davesprite’s story. ARquius, again, just felt like AR with some of Equius’ quirks. Corrupt Jane and Corrupt Jade have no personalities and basically took away any character from the two characters who needed character development more than ANY of the humans. They have a few cool moments, but are ultimately fail to be proper characters. I forget Dancestor Eridan’s name. I’m not crazy about the Dancestors, I don’t think many people are, but he’s one of the most noteless. Eridan... I will admit, maybe I shouldn’t put him as low as he is. He’s not really a failure in terms of his literary goal; Eridan is a very good antagonist. He’s an angsty, alternian-equivalent neo-nazi ultra-angsty teen, and he sits in that role absolutely perfectly. On the other hand, as someone who loves Feferi as much as I do, it’s hard not to loathe him. I know, it’s a very biased reason to dislike him, and I mean no disrespect to those who do, but I would be remissed if I didn’t put him at the bottom. He really isn’t as bad as his placement would imply, I just have a personal vendetta. Jake. He’s just Jake. Literally the only reason he exists is to fulfill the need to have Jade’s guardian be one of the Alpha kids. Beyond that, he’s basically just a robot who says old-timey words and we’re told is very attractive. Dancestor Gamzee is down here for the same reason as Dancestor Eridan. Noteless, and related to a character I hate. Biased? Yes. But this isn’t an objective list.
E. This is for characters who annoy me personally, more or less. Except for Tavrosprite. Tavrosprite is here because he’s a troll-sprite; however, he’s consistently funny, and is mostly used very sparingly. Also, Tavros gets more of a major role later on, so maybe it leaves less of a sting. I also really like Tavrisprite. They’re probably the best sprite. They get a really cool theme and are a funny joke character. I didn’t give a shit about Dirk until the Epilogue. It says a lot when the Epilogue manages to make a character more interesting considering the Epilogue is the worst part of the comic. That being said, it takes him from “awkward angsty teen” to “evil omnipotent god-character”, so it’s not really much of an improvement. Most of the time, when Dirk comes up, it sends a signal to my head saying “oh god, here comes a long, drawn out, over-complicated spiel about ultimate selves and bullshit like that”. Sollux had his moments early on; he was a much better character early on, but quickly became a weird, kinda depressing character? I dunno. In hindsight, maybe he should be in E. I think I just dislike him because he’s with Aradia and Feferi and I think they deserve better but that’s a dumb way to think so whatever. Give him like an E+. Jadesprite. She cries a lot. There are some funny moments but ultimately, not crazy about her. She has none of the parts of Jade I liked and didn’t exactly serve to improve Jade in any way. Lord English... too complicated. Why’s he got so many origins? I dunno. Caliborn added much more to him, but I’m gonna separate “Caliborn” and “Lord English” into two characters. On his own, Lord English is just kinda nothing. A big spooky boogeyman. Vriska. That’s right, THE Vriska. My thoughts on Vriska are extremely complicated. There are hints at something more under the surface, but I feel like there was too long of a stint of her being a straight-up Mary Sue who kills everyone and is super cool and is never punished. I’ll talk about this more when we get to (Vriska). Moving on.
D. These are characters who have done nothing for me, or are otherwise just a step below “neutral”. Dirkbot is kinda the only entertaining thing to Dirk as a character. Dirk is basically the “host” to the real star of the show in terms of Dirk’s characterization, Dirkbot. Lemme get some bonus shout-outs to Sawtooth and Squarewave. I really like And It Don’t Stop, a comic Hussie made long ago, which is what they were based on. I feel like if Dirk kept that aesthetic more, I’d like him more as a character. Calliope... An interesting concept, I really like some concepts in relation to her, but as has been discussed, I feel like Hussie and the writers like to frame her as being perfect and they sort of refuse to dig deeper into what could make for a very interesting character. Dualscar looks cool but otherwise doesn’t do much for me. I REALLY like the Ancestors besides HIC, so instead of being plopped down to F like the Dancestors, the “nothing” Ancestors get put in D. Grandpa Harley is just kinda around, much like Jake. Horrus... is kinda interesting. Kinda cute. I like him. And he’s related to a troll I really like, so he gets a boost. Rufio is a joke character, but he’s a decent joke character, so he gets in D. Mindfang and the Summoner are here for the same reason as Dualscar. Mom Lalonde has EXTREMELY limited relevance, but her short time is decent. Now that I’m thinking about it, she doesn’t really deserve a D. Maybe a C-. I’m gonna be really honest, Porrim gets to be in D because she’s pretty. That’s about all the reasoning there is.
C. This is my “neutral” point. Everyone here is the middle ground. (Vriska) is the Vriska we see getting abandoned by Meenah in Act 6. She’s the Vriska who’s grown as a character, and experienced deep resentment for how awful she was, and then faced how horrible she was first-hand. I’m gonna be honest; I love (Vriska). Unfortunately, Hussie, being the horrid subhuman that he is, decides that after putting (Vriska) through the worst, and then getting abandoned by the only flushed interest she’s ever really had, we would never see her again. (Vriska) deserves to be in A, but Hussie cut her down to a C. Aranea is interesting; aside from having an involved and reasonable part of the plot, she’s a very enjoyable character. Lord knows I can relate to somebody with a very special interest who adores to just ramble and ramble and ramble paragraph after paragraph about them, just like what I’m doing at this very moment. Good dog. Best friend. Lil’ Cal is a joke character who becomes a surprisingly pivotal character in what seems like a stupid way at first, but eventually makes genuine sense. An interesting character to think about. If you can even really call him a character? Damara... well, I think she’s pretty. Also her dialogue is funny after you translate it. So she gets a +1 on Porrim. Davesprite is funny. Dave’s funny, so a second Dave is also funny. He’s no all-star, but he’s alright, yeah. The Desciple is cute and a good relation to Nepeta. The Grand Highblood is extremely intimidating. I think he’s a really cool design for an intimidating, horrible warlord. That’s all. John... is interesting. Funny and dopey, but as far as character development goes he really starts to slow down and become... kinda... weird. I’m not really sure how I feel about him, ultimately. So, C. I really liked Jane, but then they turned her into a mindless bad guy with a tiara, and then they turned her into a mindless bad guy because capitalism. I like Rosesprite. I think I like her considerably more than Davesprite, give her a C+. She’s definitely the best of the sprites; she represents Rose well, but also twists her personality in a new and interesting way by making her very peppy and really playing with that silly side of Rose that’s so rare. Kankri... I’ll admit it, I think he’s kinda cute. He’s fussy. Whiny, sure, but I dunno. Meulin is extremely cute, but her actual writing irks me. Not because it’s bad, it’s just... you know. Doc Scratch was a fun antagonist for the time we had him. Certainly a lot more fun than any of the other antagonists (sans one), even if a lot of his writing hinged on being all-knowing. Karkat and Sollux’s ancestors served good story roles so they get C. Obviously we don’t really know anything about their personalities, but they give you some stuff to think about.
Oh god this is way too long, I’m too tired to finish this shit. You can ask me about the rest of you’re curious, g’night.
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New Look Sabres: 2019 Offseason Retrospective
Some offseasons are over in a hurry. All the action is done by Independence Day and Hockey goes into hibernation for two months. Then there are offseasons like this one: hurry up and wait because something else is about to happen. That said Jeff Skinner is our Stanley Cup. In the Season Retrospective back in April I said the Buffalo Sabres’ Stanley Cup for the 2019 Offseason would be resigning Jeff Skinner. The team didn’t qualify for the playoffs so what’s the next most important thing for the team? Jeff Skinner. If you said anything other than Jeff Skinner you either thought the Sabres were going to trade up in the draft or you think Jack Eichel is a bum… or both. Either way I think you’re fooling yourself. Jeff Skinner proved to be the ideal left wing for Jack Eichel, even after the wheels flew off in the second half. Lose a guy like him and you’re in the same spot we’d been in for three years prior putting Eichel with left wingers like… Zemgus Girgensons? Yikes. Looking back at last year’s Offseason retrospective its kinda funny that I was so pumped for Conor Sheary. The guy does an important job but he’s really just a middle six wing. That left side was so barren for years that it seemed impossible we’d ever get a guy capable of skating wing with Jack Eichel. The crazy thing about the offseason the Sabres have had is that now they have… dare I say it: a very good top six! Don’t worry, we have all of Training Camp to debate roster deployment and we certainly will! The next great offseason accomplishment, our secondary Stanley Cup, is ROYAL FUCKING BLUE! On August 15th, 2019 shortly after 3 in the afternoon years of waiting came to an end. One little tweet ended years- YEARS of our bitching and moaning for the best incarnation of the Sabres look. Honestly it overshadowed the reveal of the 50th Anniversary third jerseys the following day for me. Coupled with an implied return to the original Sabres logo without the silly silver lining all over it, it’s not exaggeration, and certainly not out of place on this blog, to say Buffalo now once again hosts one of the best logo/color combinations in sports. Either way, those were the two big defibrillators taken to the chest of an exhausted Sabres fanbase this offseason.
The hurry up and wait of this offseason was Rasmus Ristolainen. That trade seemed inevitable and then it wasn’t for most of the summer. Then Chad DeDomincis spoke about his secret sources and put the likelihood of a trade at 70%. Just as we had feared the move was held up by a string of dominos that can best be described as cowardly General Managers waiting for the market to be set on restricted free agents. As of the posting of this article there is no resolution of the Ristolainen situation making any in-out section somewhat hard to do. I still believe the trade will happen before opening night, but we’ll just have to wait and see. For me its not worth getting wound up about what he said in a Finnish newspaper. It’s been clear he’s not been entirely happy here for months if not years. Does it hurt the potential trade? Idk, does it hurt more than his shitty advanced stats already do? This is already more time than its worth spending on a hypothetical trade. The moment that trade happens there will be a heartfelt goodbye from me, Risto is a guy I loved a lot. Let’s talk about the moves that did happen! Going out is Matt Tennyson, Sean Malone, Danny O’Regan, Matt Moulson (finally officially gone), Scott Wedgewood, Jason Pominville and Alex Nylander. The out list could be longer than that, but I tried to keep it to folks who were or could’ve been NHL players. That list is very scant on big names but more importantly its shorter than the coming-in list (particularly on defense): Henri Jokiharju, Marcus Johansson, Curtis Lazar, Andrew Hammond, Jimmy Vesey, Colin Miller, Arttu Ruotsalainen and… I know it was technically a resigning but Jeff Skinner because we resigned Jeff Skinner!!! Before Matt Hunwick’s neck injury unfortunately sent him to Robidas Island (LTIR for all of this upcoming season) there was not only a surplus of defenseman on the right side but there was so many that the team was going to be over the salary cap. This was what made us all think a Ristolainen trade is inevitable... and now September is knocking on our door. Once again, talking about the outs and ins of the Sabres offseason is kinda hard with this big, pending, hypothetical trade hanging over our heads. Nonetheless, plenty did happen.
As always take my enthusiasm with a grain of salt. Last offseason retrospective I was amped for Patrik Berglund and that ended in a way no one could’ve predicted. Nonetheless, I am pretty excited for Colin Miller and Marcus Johansson. Miller will be an excellent top 4 d-man once he filters into that role and Johansson is the kind of role player at left wing this team needs more of. Side note: I’m just really happy we’ve got a GM who knows how to take advantage of cap strapped teams like we saw in the Miller move. If “Trader Tim” was dumb enough to waste a draft pick on negotiating rights for Vesey three years ago, “Poppin Botts” is smart enough to poach playoff performers. Speaking of three years ago Jimmy Vesey probably doesn’t need to be in the top six, but his acquisition is low-key brilliant and if you ask me he’ll look like a steal by November. When it comes to the forwards I know we could still use a right wing, but I don’t think there are many offensively bad incarnations of this top six anymore. Pending that hypothetical Risto trade, the closest thing to a blockbuster this offseason was Alex Nylander for Henri Jokiharju. It was a one-for-one trade and pretty immediately called as a win for the Sabres; as fans we thought Nylander would go as part of a package but there it is! The steal of the summer! For one, whatever switch was flipped in Nylander’s motivational subconscious toward the end of last year’s training camp was fleeting. I’m not suggesting anything dubious but LMFAO had a longer run of quality play than Nylander. I apologized for calling him the lesser Nylander brother last year though that is plainly correct. I think the words of a Chicago blog really have the best words to form my new, final burn of the 2016 first rounder: piss-poor motivation. We may never know what he could’ve been had he given a shit, Chicago isn’t exactly where you go for quality development these days, but the return for him was way more than we could’ve hoped. While I normally struggle to wrap my head around prospect trades this one was a quick learn. Henri Jokiharju is the kind of young defenseman you can’t really put a ceiling on. He could’ve been a regular on Chicago’s blueline had Joel Quenneville not lost his job there. Keeping guys like Marco Scandella and Rasmus Ristolainen around decreases the likelihood Jokiharju starts in Buffalo but he deserves the spot whether he gets it or not. Lawrence Pilut and Zach Bogosian starting the season injured throws some more wrinkles in that story, but we’ll just have to wait and see.
Before we wrap up I want to reiterate how hawkish I am on Linus Ullmark. Both him and Carter Hutton fell off a cliff in December and never recovered last season. Those two guys are the main reasons we got a ten-game winning streak. I am crazy enough to say they’re good play early in the season was not a fluke and Ullmark specifically I think will make a compelling case for the starter role. Next up in the world of New Look Sabres is a blog on the Prospect Tournament next weekend. I’ll be in Delaware that weekend but nonetheless you’ll get a post on that as the final appetizer before Training Camp starts and we’re really off to the races! Like, share and comment. New Look Sabres is now a part of my broader Uttaro Sports Plus blog so there’s other stuff to enjoy while you wait for more Sabres content. We don’t have to wait much longer. Football season is here and I’m back in graduate classes so it can’t be too much longer! Enjoy your Labor Day weekend!
Thanks for reading.
P.S. I wrote a full-fledged Farewell Jeff Skinner piece that was never published because we were blessed enough to keep him. If there is enough interest I can post it or parts of it. Let me know what you think.
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Crazy, He Calls Me
Original post: HERE
Anonymous asked: Companions and phone sex 👀 are they good at it? what do they say?
[[For starters, I’d like to thank you for making my AU-hating arse think up how in all hells would “phone” sex even work in the Wasteland; that’s exactly how I wanted to spend these last few days. Second, this barely counts anyway. Take it or leave it.]]
[[Also, mild NSFW ahead. Well, you did say “sex” at me. Own it.]]
Cait: Sole gave her one of the better-looking Pip-Boys from Vault 88 after they were finished with their business there, and Cait got almost as addicted to it as she had been to Psycho and was now to Sole. Honestly, it was definitely one of the most useful devices she’d ever gotten her hands on, including that one time when she’d found a still-working vibrator in one of the old hotels. Anyways, thinking back to that time and to how now, typically, she didn’t need one… but… Well, it could always be better in some way, right?
So one day, when Sole was busy with running around and talking to people, Cait told them she’d be in the nearest bar, but she hid in one of the alleys and recorded a holotape which she then slipped into Sole’s gear when they were sleeping.
Sole found it the next day when they were on the road, pulling it out of their coat pocket with honest surprise on her face. Given that they usually stored the holotapes they’d found back at home as soon as they could, it must’ve really been surprising to find one that escaped that scrutiny. Cait watched them out of the corner of her eye as they inserted the tape into their Pip-Boy.
“Oi, love, I was just thinkin’ about you,” Cait’s voice spoke up. Sole threw them a surprised glance, but Cait pretended not to hear or see anything. The tape continued: “And I was thinkin’ how nice your body feels next to me. How good it feels to go down at you to wake you up from a bad dream in the middle of the night. And how good your hands feel when they’re runnin’ all over me body. Mmm…”
That was the end of the tape. Sole didn’t say anything or follow up on it in any way. Except next day it was Cait who found a tape in her gear, and this time it was her heart beating like crazy when she put it in her Pip-Boy. She looked at Sole, but they conveniently pretended not to see anything.
“My dear, the truth is that if you want me, all you need to do is spread your legs and ask nicely. I’m more than happy to fulfill your every desire, whatever it might be. My hands on your body is just the beginning…”
Soon, the idea of recording indecent tapes and hiding them in one another’s gear turned into a sort of a silly game of “whoever gives in first”, which at least more often than not ended with them passionately fucking in their tent at night. Cait couldn’t complain.
Curie: Back when Curie had been a Ms. Nanny, she’d helped Sole download the e-mail program framework from University Point’s terminals. And for that, once they got back home, she’d received her own terminal because, as Sole said, “she contributed and she deserved it”. Fast-forward to a few months later, to a settlement-wide party to celebrate Sole’s birthday, which, organised by Hancock, very quickly turned into drunken revelry. Sole, once they’d had a few drinks, wouldn’t let Curie out of their sight, putting their arm around her and pulling her along wherever they’d go. Curie didn’t mind much—it was indeed an interesting occasion to observe people’s behavior and listen to their stories when they were intoxicated, even if she only sipped a single drink that didn’t work on her synth body anyway.
A few days later, Sole was busying themself with some spring cleaning when they’d heard a chime of a new e-mail from their terminal. It was from Curie, and the title said, “Experimentation Schedule”. Very benign. Also, misguiding.
“My dear Sole,
I have decided upon the schedule of our upcoming experimentation and herefore sending you a draft just like you asked for. I know of many things that you also like to ask for, so I included them in this draft. The schedule for next week is as follows…
On Monday, we shall engage in chemical testing. I would like to take pH-measure of your bodily fluids, most notably the saliva and vaginal fluid. But as we lack proper analytic tools for such tests, I am forced to resolve to using my tongue. I should hope the testing will be most enjoyable.
On Tuesday, we will perform some stress tests. This is most important for the control of your heart and whatever effects your new lifestyle and habits have on it. I would be very unhappy to skip these tests as it is your heart that brings me the most joy in life. The testing will involve exerting much physical effort and passive intake of fluids, administered through my new mouth-to-mouth technique.
On Wednesday, there shall be a physical examination. It is most important to do monthy check-ups and control how your body heals after the injuries it so often sustains. The pre-requisite of this exam is that you are fully unclothed as there should be no physical barriers between the doctor and her patient. Also, in order to keep you from losing precious warmth, we shall make sure your circulation is properly stimulated, allowing you to regulate your temperature more efficiently.
On Thursday, I will show you some washing techniques, to help you keep hygiene at minimal cost when you are traveling. Seeing as proper hygiene is the most important to living a healthy life, I believe this to be one of the most important activity of the week. It will take place in the shower of your home at 5 PM and continue throughout the night.
On Friday, I will teach you about proper hydration and nutrition with a specially prepared breakfast we will consume upon waking up. Once you are properly nourished, we will put this new lifestyle regime to the test with another stress test.
On Saturday, we shall take a long walk through the wilderness and study what we encounter along the way. Getting acquainted with one’s surroundings and environment is an important step to implementing a healthier lifestyle. We will get acquainted very well.
On Sunday we shall take the day off from experimentation and enjoy a quiet night together. As play is also quite important in training of one’s problem-solving skills and hand-eye coordination, I will provide several devices designed to help with the training.
That is everything I have planned for our next week together. I will be impatiently waiting for your approval of this schedule and begin preparations immediately.
Yours forever,
Curie”
Sole didn’t give their approval right away. They needed to go take a cold shower first.
Danse: [[Warning: borderline heresy. Sorry not sorry.]]
Surprisingly, Danse holds the black-belt of phone sex. Sole was shocked when he laughed at their drunken descriptions of their biweekly sessions with their spouse when they used to serve. Granted, Danse had a few too much to drink as well, but there was an unpalpable tang of sincerity to the story he told. Specifically, he recalled that in his first squad, back under the command of Paladin Krieg, he and Cutler would occasionally—and by ‘occasionally’ he meant ‘often’—spout sexual things at each other through the comm-links while the rest of the squad was choking with laughter. And when Sole asked what sort of things, Danse, blushing a little and with an intro of “Oh, we were young and stupid, and it was usually Cutler initiating these wildly inappropriate conversations”, gave them a recap of one of their conversations which went something like this:
“Oh, Danse, you mighty, mighty man… Oh, the things I’d let you do to me at night in my quarters. Over.”
“Yes, Cutler? Like what? Over.”
“Like at first, I’d let you put your hands on me… Over.”
“And what would you be wearing, Cutler? Over.”
“I’d have absolutely nothing on. I’d have undressed and washed and gotten all prepared for you, my lovely Danse. Over.”
“Mm, I’m starting to get behind this idea. I’d definitely use those hands for the betterment of mankind. Over.”
“And after my mankind couldn’t take any more betterment, what would you do? Over.”
(There was no way at this point that everyone in the squad wasn’t laughing, even Paladin Krieg.)
“I would continue our… training exercise. Move on to other locations. Over.”
“Oh, what sort of locations? Over.”
“Wherever you’d want me, my beloved Cutler. As long as you spoke up. Over.”
“Oh, Danse… Over.”
“Speak up, Cutler! Over.”
“Oh, Danse, but there are several unoccupied locations here! What do we do? Over.”
“We shall explore them one by one, no matter how unusual. Over.”
“Yes, Danse, keep telling me. Keep ordering me. I want you to be my Paladin tonight. Over.”
(You should’ve seen Krieg’s face at this point. Priceless.)
“Take my uniform off, Cutler. Over.”
“Gladly, my Paladin. Right away. Over.”
“Now bend over. Over.”
“Please, my Paladin, do whatever you want to me. Over.”
“I will, Cutler. You just relax. Over.”
“Yes, put it in me, put it in! I can’t wait!… Over.”
“Oh, Cutler, you’re so delightfully tight… Over.”
“And you, my Paladin Danse, you are… semper invicta. Over.”
“You make me such, brother. Ad victoriam. Over.”
“Yes, ad victoriaaam!”
…Upon getting their breath back, Sole asked why Danse even engaged in those conversations if they were so ‘wildly inappropriate’. Danse had no answer for them.
[[Did I say ‘mild NSFW’?? Can’t seem to recall…]]
Deacon: Deacon was something else. First time Sole found the note in the dead drop, obviously written in his handwriting, they couldn’t really believe it, especially since it wasn’t addressed to them. But really, who else could it be for? Sole stifled a sting of jealousy as their eyes glided along the lines: “If you were here right now, I would be pushing my dick down your throat. But since you’re not, I can only wallow in my loneliness”. Ah, that bold, bald idiot.
As they scribbled their response on the back of the note and put it back in the dead drop and especially as they closed the container behind them, they felt a rush of something… Like a thrill. Like when having sex in public. Their thoughts sprinted to that time at the park, with… but it was a long time ago. There was no point reliving it. They threw another glance at the container and left.
A few days later, Sole visited Railroad’s HQ, and lo and behold, Deacon was there too. They picked up the pace—it wasn’t often these days that they could see each other, what with his work as a field agent and their own duties and activities. But halfway through the room they saw that Deacon was actually hunched over what looked like a pile of papers, sitting on his mattress, head in hands.
“What’s up with him?” Sole asked no one in particular, but it was Doc Carrington who almost jumped out of his seat to answer.
“He got about twenty replies to that stupid note he left in every dead drop we have… I think he’s crying.”
“Oh, shut up,” they mumbled, but threw him a grin. Sometimes they thought they were the only ones who actually liked Carrington, even for all his flaws. But now they navigated over to Deacon’s mattress and before he even noticed them there, grabbed one of the notes at random and read the reply. “Oh, yes, Deacon, I’d love to gulp you down like a bottle of whiskey!”, it said. It wasn’t Sole’s reply. They looked at the pile of notes beneath their feet and Deacon’s miserable face, trying to stifle laughter.
“You should know my handwriting, honey,” they said. Deacon scoffed and threw some of the notes in the air like the dramatic actress that he was.
“You never handwrote a single thing to me!” he yelped. Sole patted his glistening baldness comfortingly.
“Now, now, it’s okay,” they said. “I didn’t reply to this silly thing anyway.”
Deacon looked up at them, squinted… “Just leave the lying to me, honey,” he said. “You’re lousy at it, I’m sorry to say.”
Sole chuckled. “Okay, fine, have it your way and keep looking for a note you have no idea about. Take a guess based only on how well you think you know me.” Deacon pouted, just a tiny little bit. “Or…” Sole said, leaning to his ear. “You can just pick a few of them out and then come find me, and we can play them out…” They bit the node of his ear playfully and walked off, leaving him slack-jawed and red up to the brow. When they looked around, they could see him frantically sorting through the notes.
Hancock: Since Sole noticed a ham radio at Hancock’s Old State House, they realized that would be a perfect way to communicate when they weren’t together—‘cause God knows Hancock always found a better way to communicate when they were. However, Sole didn’t account on him interrupting them in the middle of the night in the workshop as they were building new defense turrets for their settlement. And it was going really great until the ham radio crackled and bespoke:
“Hey, sunshine!” And then his voice got lower, huskier, and sexier: “Hope you’re naked over there ‘cause I sure am.”
Sole grabbed the microphone and said, “Goddammit, Hancock, you know I’m in the workshop. If I was naked here, I’d be up for losing a few body parts, like you.”
“And we wouldn’t want that, would we?” Sole could almost hear him wink over the radio. “But still, how about I keep you… company?”
Sole didn’t reply.
“I mean, after you finish whatever you’re doing, maybe you’ll wanna operate some heavy machinery.”
“For fuck’s sake, Hancock, stop! I’m trying to work here.”
“Yeah, baby…” He breathed. “I love it when you do it with your hands…”
Sole blushed, getting hot all over, but instead of replying, they just focused on the task at ha… Dammit! The task. Period.
“I miss you, Sole…” Hancock’s voice, with its rasp and tone, and slightly distorted by the radio, was reaching Sole on a wholly different level of being. “...And little Han-cock misses you, too.”
“HANCOCK, YOU LITTLE SHIT!”
“Don’t call him names! It’s okay, little one. Daddy will stroke you with love.”
Sole decided to ignore him. Just ignore him. It’s okay. He’s gonna get off that… Dammit! Come off… DAMMIT! He’s gonna be done… D-A-M-M-I-T. Nevermind.
“Sole, darling? Why aren’t you saying anything? Are you masturbating?”
“Why, Hancock, ‘DARLING’, why aren’t you stopping this trainwreck? Are you high?”
“Damn right I am.” And the shameless confidence in his voice honestly turned Sole on more than anything else he’d said so far. But they weren’t going to give in so easily. He wasn’t going to win them over with just the sound of his voice alone.
And as Sole returned to building the turret—realizing, along the way, they’d put more than one part in the wrong place because of being distracted by that irradiated idiot—that irradiated idiot took an audible breath, as if to calm down, and then said, “Alright, sunshine, I’mma go sleep it off. You have a good night and I hope you dream about me kissing every inch of your perfect body and sliding myself into you exactly the way you like. Or you into me, whatever floats your boat, love.” And with another crackle, he was gone. And Sole was left with their thoughts racing and heart pounding.
MacCready: Since RJ brought Duncan to the Commonwealth so that they could both have something at least resembling a real family again, as much as this world permitted it, one big problem arose: they couldn’t travel together anymore, not when one of them had to stay behind and take care of Duncan. That, in turn, brought a lot of late nights, staying up worrying about one another, tension, and eventually arguments. Sole knew these originally stemmed from love, but it was still so… So they decided to look for solutions. After two weeks they managed to modify a baby monitor to transmit both ways and link it to Sole’s Pip-Boy. That way they’d have contact with one another, and a way to send a distress call should anything go wrong at home. And then that bit Sole in the ass, too.
One day, early morning, Sole woke up at their camp they’d only set up in the first place because they wanted to make one more stop before returning back home—and also, it had been late when they were setting it up, and even though they were maybe half an hour away from home, they didn’t want to wake the boys just to have to leave the next morning again. So they made camp, went to sleep, and then woke up at, like, fucking dawn to RJ’s voice spewing crap through their Pip-Boy. At first they thought he was making sense, that maybe the house was under attack, but then RJ said, “The places I’d kiss you in… ’Cause I miss you and I need some masturbation material.”
He WHAT? Sole jerked up and began packing up the camp, at the same time teasing RJ on the line, “I wish I could be there, too, honey, tracing kisses down your firm chest…”
RJ moaned softly, “Oh, yes. I’d love to feel you close. Your hand down my pants…”
“Down your what? I’d have undressed you a long time ago. And tied you to the bed. I’d love to have you completely at my mercy.”
The groan he let out made Sole’s lips twist into a satisfied, vengeful smile. No one, and they meant it—NO ONE would be waking them up at dawn.
“Uhh… What about Duncan, though?” he asked, his voice somewhat shaky.
“I’d leave him with Dogmeat, lock the door… Dogmeat would let us know if Duncan was coming. Don’t you worry. I have it all thought out.”
“Mm. Please tell me you wouldn’t just tease me the entire time.”
“Of course not. First thing I’d do would be to push you all the way down my throat, as far as it would go.”
“Holy f…” he cleared his throat like that was going to help. Sole was now walking briskly with a huge grin on their face.
“And then I’d do you exactly the way you like. Except you wouldn’t be cumming until I let you. And there would be nothing you could do, tied up as you’d be. Mm, thinking about that body of yours splayed out on the bed. Just… yummy.”
“Oh, goodness, Sole. Please come home as soon as you can.”
“I will, love. I will.”
And barely a few minutes later, Sole rushed into the house and moved about as quietly as they could as to not wake Duncan up; they found RJ in the bedroom, hiding behind the bed with his head thrown back, dick in hand. And Sole just stood there above him with their hands propped up on their hips until RJ finally opened his eyes and saw them, immediatelly getting all flustered and embarrassed.
“Hey, b-but in my defense, look what you did to me!” he mumbled, the first fully coherent sentence in the full-minute-long babble.
“Yeah?” Sole shoves his hand down their pants. “Well, look what you did to me!”
Nick: When Sole told him about how they’d used to play with their spouse over the phone, Nick raised his brow and didn’t say anything. The topic never came up again. [[Like, let’s be real, he would SO not be up to it. Leave poor Nick alone.]]
Piper: Sole and Piper never talked about what Sole did with their spouse, how their life was before the war or any of that stuff. It was as if Piper filled in the blanks herself and correct or not, she was happy with it. As if it pained her less to work with those lies than have to listen to Sole’s life about someone else and then see that moment when they reach the end of the story and realize it’s never coming back. The moment when their tearful eyes close over a fake smile as they say, “But I have you now, Red. So it’s all good.” It’s never all good. So she preferred her stories.
But even so, whether it was by some bizarre coincidence or because she really did find out about it somehow, one day Piper did the exact same thing their spouse used to. One day, a messenger came up to Sole and handed them a sealed letter with their name on it. The shock of getting anything from a random caravan driver who had apparently recognised her easily but whom she’d never met before, and all that in the middle of nowhere in Capital Wasteland—that shock dissipated as they opened the makeshift envelope an found an actual love letter from Piper.
“My Beloved Sole,
I have never done something like this before. But these last few weeks when you’ve been gone have been hard. I can’t pretend you’re just around the corner anymore. I can’t imagine waking up next to you every morning. Last night I awoke from a nightmare which I could barely remember, but it was a dream of you never returning to me again. I’m scared. I know you’re not going to be back anytime soon, but if I were to receive a reply from you, even a short ‘I’m okay’ note, I’d sleep much better.
And I’m sorry for writing this, but I miss you. I can’t help it. I can’t even write a good article anymore, so you better get your shapely ass back here soon! My livelihood is on the line!
Speaking of that shapely ass… Ahh, nevermind. I just want you back. I want you next to me. I want to be able to kiss you and touch you, and be with you, and I swear on the Wall, when you return, I’m not letting you out of bed for AT LEAST a week. You’ll repay me in earnest for every minute I had to spend all alone, pressing my hand to my lips as to not let a sound out as I’d push the other down my… Or up. Depends on the perspective, I guess. And all of that thinking of you.
I need you. Get back soon and stay safe.
With love, Piper PS. If someone opens and reads it before it reaches you, I will be SO pissed.”
Sole raised their gaze from above the letters, hand at their own lips as they held back their tears. The caravaneers threw them a weird look from above the fire they all sat around, but didn’t say anything. Piper literally went to Goodneighbor and talked to Daisy, probably in exchange for some favors, to make sure this reached them. Sole ripped a piece of the paper and scribbled a short note before giving it back to the caravan driver, nearly begging him to take it back. The note said: “I’m fine. I love you, too. I promise I’ll be home soon.”
Preston: After the party where Sole literally almost boasted about what phones used to be and what use they made of them with their spouse, Preston was indignant for the rest of the evening. He couldn’t help being jealous. But even so, when they passed out like the adorable idiots they were, Preston was the one to gather them up from the floor and put them to bed. And when he stayed and looked at their sleeping face, so peaceful if not for the quite disturbing muttering, he just somehow wasn’t mad anymore.
“No, don’t touch me…” Sole muttered in their sleep. “Fuck off, whoever you are, there’s a man waiting for me at home…” Preston’s heart fell to his stomach again. But then… “No, his name is My Boyfriend… Now go away.” And Sole turned to the other side and slept soundlessly the rest of the night. When they awoke in the morning with a skull-splitting headache, the first thing they noticed was a glass of water on the nightstand. They gulped the entire thing down, spilling more than some on themselves before they realized there was also a note. It said, “Hey, Li’l Mama, whatcha got on?”
BONUS - Strong: [[Please, don’t. Steer clear. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.]]
I just have this vision in my head, like, a beheaded mole rat used as a crayon, the mask of a pre-war white car his canvas, and those red child-like letters spelling: “Strong like your butt”.
#fallout 4#fallout reacts#fallout reactions#fallout 4 reacts#fallout 4 reactions#fo4#fo4 companions#fallout 4 companions#fallout 4 companions react#cait#curie#danse#paladin danse#deacon#fallout 4 hancock#hancock#john hancock#mayor hancock#robert joseph maccready#rj#rj maccready#maccready#nick valentine#fallout 4 nick#piper#piper wright#preston#preston garvey#strong#no gender specified
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First Post: Why(s)? and a How.
Why this blog?
I am doing this primarily to document the crazy food adventures and experiments I conduct (granted, some less crazy than others). I love food, especially good quality, creatively-made food, but often times these can cost way over my budget at fancy restaurants. So, I find ways to satisfy the hedonistic, but also creative need to cook, and eat.
I immensely enjoy the processes before and during the cooking, be it searching for ingredients or getting inspired by what’s on sale/ on limited time offer, to researching recipes for ideas on what could go with what (everything I come up with has to varying extents been inspired from something I read/saw/smelled somewhere, to the best of my ability I will link these recipes, when applicable). This blog will therefore document not just recipes, but also supermarket trips, or even just specific ingredients I read about somewhere and went down a rabbit hole on the internet to find the hell out about. Or of course, food I was especially impressed by, outside. Or meals that mean a lot to me, like the hearty congee my mom makes, or the traditional zai dish (Cantonese vegetarian) my parents make every lunar new year, passed down from my paternal grandparents.
I compile all these food-related experiences, so that I can have an understanding of how my gastronomical journey develops. If anyone should find these ideas/recipes useful, go for it, use it! Share with me if you do!
Why the name?
Flut? What the hell is that supposed to be? Well, TW for sensitive audiences, potentially offensive content coming up *mild eye rolling*.
Flut = food slut. Why? On more than one occasion, I have been told that the look on my face/my behaviour in general demonstrates a tendency towards.. obsession/addiction, when I encounter good food, and I become willing to do (nearly) everything to get my hands on whatever it is. For instance: there was once I was at an open-air festival market with a friend in Germany. It was rather crowded, and the grounds were pretty big. We walked past this stand that had pork belly roasting over a charcoal fire, and goddamn did it look and smell good. So succulent. But before I could even emerge from my trance to do the sensible thing and pull out the moneh, my friend hurriedly pulled me along, away from the crowd towards another section of the market. That’s fine, I thought, I’m sure there has to be something similar from other stalls. But no. After we’d been walking for about 45 minutes or so, there wasn’t. I had meat on my mind. Juicy, crackling, charcoal-roasted pork belly. I told my friend I had to go back. She gave me a look, part disbelief part amusement.
“You’ll never find it, we’ve come so far already!”, said she of little faith.
To be fair, I wasn’t known for having a good sense of direction. But I had my guiding star. The glowing embers beckoned. I pulled her along, almost as if in a daze, towards my calling. She would later tell me I walked in the manner of one who had found their life’s purpose, so determined and single-minded I moved, apparently. Maybe I exaggerate. Just a little. But guess what? I found the stall. And it was WORTH IT. My internal GPS seems to only work when mapped to food points.
People have laughed at me when they see me eating sashimi - I basically transcend into this state of bliss. I go to parties/events mostly for the food/drinks, even though I mostly hate socialising. I spend an agonizingly(for the unfortunate companion who happens to be there, lol) long time poring over individual sections in supermarkets. Sometimes, I can spend hours researching just a single ingredient, because it simply is so fascinating (like that time I found out about sake koji) and basically burned my entire afternoon finding out everything I could about it.
Adventures is pretty straightforward I guess. Literal adventures would include sourcing/stumbling upon exotic (for me) ingredients when overseas (but sometimes even in my own neighbourhood’s market), but also culinary adventures, like when I combine elements and ingredients in a manner the surrealist greats could almost be proud of (lol). No knowing at the point in time what will come out of these wacky combinations, but sometimes I reach a magical combination and that feels for me like heaven. A hedonistic-type heaven obvs, not the boring one where people have to sing all day. Sorry.
*
On a side note, having this blog will be another pushing force for me to actually use the ingredients I have at home. I have this terrible habit of hoarding ingredients, simply because I cant bear to use them (especially if I got them on sale, or “worse” still, from overseas, where it’s almost impossible to find it back where I am). But silly me should know from sufficient experience that that is a terrible practice, good stuff goes to waste and I’m left with lacklustre-tasting food (if they haven’t turned bad enough for me to throw them away).
*
How?
This has to do with the framework/methodology/frequency regarding my postings I guess.
Content type:
1) Recipes/Meals I made and am proud of
2) (Super)market hauls
3) Particular ingredients I have suddenly become enamoured/obsessed by
4) Meals that I find particularly good
5) Meals that have sentimental meaning for me
6) Musings about food and my relation to food
These categories will likely overlap.
I will try to categorise dish types (e.g. soup, salad, stew, drink, dessert), occasion-type (e.g. office meals, stay-in dinners, snacks) for starters. I will add more when I think of them.
Apropos recipes: Sometimes, it isn’t even going to be complicated. It could just be a simple addition/modification or two to something already prepared, that made my gastro-experience so much better.
Upcoming content (just to lay the foundations for this flog (food log for u n00bs)) will include:
-My cooking philosophy
-??? -to be updated-
Frequency:
I am doing this for fun. Ergo, I probably am not keeping to a strict schedule. But for the sake of combating my own laziness, I will make it my goal to post at least once a week.
*
Okay. This feels sufficient as a first post. The next one will follow promptly, because it is my birthday today and I thoroughly spoiled myself. Yay.
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So the post I literally just reblogged I didn’t feel like rambling in the tags and making a mess for anyone looking for something else
(Fuck I went on forever under the cut this goes everywhere fast)
Before Sword and Shield came out, during their hype season, I had this really silly fic idea where 3 girls that were kind of versions of myself and also kind of not (like one of them was going to be Asian at one point which...I have no idea why it just was what I was planning, if I did it now they would be all as white as my indoor ass) would just suddenly be in Pokemon and it kind of went between being Galar and not being Galar
The youngest was kind of mostly an Ash expy, just really quick to do things and really energetic and excited; the oldest was just this very serious girl who was very strategic and stern and did not agree with the middle; the middle was just kind of...not exactly my depression but just way less into all of this and was kind of just following because she didn’t have anything else to do.
I thought of it again recently and thought about how their battle styles would be different if they were doing the gym circuit, though how the middle got in and what her starter would be (kind of thinking she would end up with a Blipbug somehow and I had another Pokemon in mind but I don’t remember what it was) because the young one would get Grookey because energy and loud, Hop would have Scorbunny because fire type like Leon, and the oldest would have Sobble and I eventually decided the other day when I was thinking about the idea again that it was because she had done copious amounts of research and decided that Inteleon had a battle style close to what she wanted to do. The young one would just go head-on into battles like Ash does because young and dumb, she would just be super enthusiastic and a little performative, and she would get team members just the way most people do, just encountering a Pokemon (or sometimes getting a fun interaction with energy n shit) and now they’re part of the team. The oldest would be super strategic and, instead of just ramming into the problem with the most force she could like the younger, would look at more detailed strategies. Less ‘spam your strongest move and then also do the anime style shit’ and more ‘strategic planning based on the species’ strengths and the opponent’s style and team’. She would look for strong Pokemon and have what she wants in mind before catching. The middle just...I haven’t really gotten her thing down yet? I know she just kind of catches Pokemon who seem to vibe with her on an emotional level (hence Blipbug, starts small and nervous and then ends up pretty dang cool, I think another was a female Kirlia who wanted to evolve into Gallade but couldn’t so she gave the Kirlia a necklace with an Everstone and helped Kirlia train to fight like a Gallade and there’s a bit of a theme with self-acceptance and growth but idk) and she more just kind of goes with the flow in battle and tries to just get the vibes n stuff. She’s the least likely to dynamax of the three, though if I were to watch the recent anime I might get a different idea. The story would be from the middle’s perspective (probably third but still focusing on her) just because she’s not as enthusiastic about all this as the others are and is just going along because it feels like that’s what she’s supposed to do. None of them really nickname their Pokemon probably, but the middle probably has unofficial nicknames like calling her Kirlia ‘kid’ a lot of the time, but that isn’t really a thing so much as I thought it would make sense.
I don’t know most of the stuff other than at the beginning the youngest rushes off to meet Leon and get her starter and the oldest is not too long after, but she doesn’t bother to wake the middle one up so the middle one doesn’t get a trio starter, hence the likely Blipbug partner. The youngest apologizes but is too excited to really talk too much, the oldest is just rude like ‘well you should have gotten up then.’ Also in the mines, the oldest and youngest split off to explore or look for Pokemon, but the middle just wants to get through and rest so she encounters Bede. There has to be an encounter later on when Kirlia should have long evolved if she was going to, and Bede is kind of mocking about it and the middle just wipes his team with Kirlia because that’s just a dick move. Also middle at some point when they hear that Bede beat Hop in a battle and just ruined his self-esteem, the youngest challenges him to a battle, the oldest probably is acting as ref, and it’s the middle one who goes to find Hop and check on him and stuff. If I were to actually write it, there would probably be some really good talk about living up to expectations and stuff and it doesn’t fix everything but it makes Hop feel less like he’s a disgrace to his brother.
There would also probably be more plot ish stuff? Like Rose actually doing bad shit? And I can tell you that the fact that the region is so linear can totally be spun as a control thing and I can pull back in that pre-release (and sometimes still in some content I’m certain) theory of Rose rigging matches so Leon would go undefeated. Otherwise we just get the gang calling him out on his bullshit with the 1000 years away, but both is good.
In the same vein of Pokemon fanfic but totally unrelated, I had some idea about a human from our world dropping into the Pokemon world and the thought about durability. Like in the anime we regularly see Team Rocket getting yeeted with the twinkle and they’re right as rain next we see them, and the number of times Ash has gotten shocked or burnt or whatever is absurd, so Pokemon world humans have to be way more durable than we are. I just had the thought that the human dropping in would realize that everyone is way more durable than they were and just try to avoid battles and stuff as much as they could because their body just can’t take the beatings that some trainers take. And like they would have to try and figure out how to dodge the fact that they’re always so distant from Pokemon when they aren’t calm and stuff. A tackle that might just take the breath out of a Pokemon world human could break one of their ribs. It was just a weird idea I had once.
Pokemon isekai again, I was thinking at one point that if I were to go into Pokemon I probably wouldn’t want to be a trainer or a professor, like I had these ideas of what I might do instead that was still really positive and involved Pokemon. The more wishful one was me being basically a crazy cat lady except with Eevee and the kids in the town would get them as starters. Aside from the Eevee themselves I would have a Flareon, an Espeon, an Umbreon, and probably a Leafeon. Flareon and Leafeon being the parents of most of the Eevee, and Espeon and Umbreon being accidental friendship evolutions before I started giving all the Eevee Everstone collars to prevent more accidents. The other was also kinda wishful but more feasible probably and was just like me being a berry farmer. (I just found my notes so I can give the Pokemon I wanted: Eevee because it’s my favorite Pokemon and it’s small and cute, a Tropius because neck fruit and also can reach berries and help harvest, a Flareon to cook berries apparently, and a Squirtle to help water and harvest.) Super wishful stuff and it still resonates, despite the fact that I’m even less active now than I was when I first thought of this stuff. I just want to have a nice peaceful life with nice Pokemon and be able to just be calm and happy. Yeah some evil team might try to destroy the world or something, but more often than not, someone comes along and helps out.
Unrelatedly my friend said the other day when we were talking that if we were to move in together in an apartment because we’re best friends and it’s cheaper to live together (also it wouldn’t be dating because even if she does turn out to be bi her girl type is buff girls and I am a twig) that she would cook and I would bake and just the idea of us living together and having stable jobs and having a cat if they were allowed and just...it sounds so nice and so many things if I think realistically like my current mental health struggles and the US being a dumpster fire and the pandemic and the US being fucking insane it just feels like it couldn’t happen and it’s just
(IT GETS REALLY BAD BELOW HERE JUST A WARNING SERIOUSLY ITS REALLY BAD)
I want to be happy but it feels like I can’t do that and I have so much shit piled up that I have to do and my medicine isn’t doing what it did at first so I guess my body got used to it like how people can get caffeine tolerance but ive had it less than a month so idk am i just fucking up that much it just fucking sucks i just wish i could stop having to worry and just live in a hole with my safe corners of the internet and my video games and a couple people online to talk to so i dont get too too lonely and just im not doing well and college is bad because my depresso is being super bad now and tonight i feel like im wasting my parents’ money because im just not doing what i need to do to exist as a student and it just feels like too much and i dont want to do any of it anymore
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DISNEY QUOTES MEME
send a 🏰 and I’ll generate a number, 1-166 and post the sentence as a starter.
Ah, yes. Now what are you, and who are you doin' here?
Now, I'm warnin' ya. Don't let nobody or nothin' in the house.
I'm so ashamed of the fuss I made.
A lie keeps growing and growing until it's as plain as the nose on your face.
Well... guess he won't need me anymore. What does an actor want with a conscience, anyway?
You buttered your bread. Now sleep in it!
All we gotta do is build an act. Make ya a star. A headliner!
Gab, gab, gab. They're always gossipin'.
If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.
You know, just the other day, I was talking to myself about you, and we were wondering what had become of you.
So this is love. So this is what makes life divine. I'm all aglow...
Oh, that clock! Old killjoy. I hear you. "Come on, get up," you say, "Time to start another day."
I can't believe. Not anymore. There's nothing left to believe in. Nothing.
Oh, I wasn't... I mean, I do, but-but don't you think my dress...
Why, it's like a dream. A wonderful dream come true.
Oh, I understand, but... it's more than I ever hoped for.
Read the directions and directly you will be directed in the right direction.
It would be so nice if something would make sense for a change.
Ah, that's just it. If you don't think, then you shouldn't talk.
if I lose my temper, you lose your head! Understand?
Curiosity often leads to trouble.
Better look first, for if one drinks much from a bottle marked "Poison", it's almost certain to disagree with you sooner or later.
Of course not. This is an unbirthday party.
Mustard! Yes, mu- MUSTARD? Don't let's be silly! Lemon, that's different...
Of all the silly nonsense, this is the stupidest tea party I've ever been to in all my life.
Goodness gracious, whatever shall we do?
It's... It's just that I never thought about it before. Say, that's it! You think of a wonderful thought.
Don't you understand, _____? You mean more to me than anything in this whole world!
Just a cute little bundle... of trouble!
You know, sometimes I don't think she's really very happy.
Well, I'm really not supposed to speak to strangers, but we've met before.
Well, *that* would make me happy.
But don't you remember? We've met before.
I'm awfully sorry. I didn't mean to frighten you.
Oh... I just love happy endings.
I'm so hungry I could eat a whole elephant.
You idiots! You fools! You imbeciles!
I'm not sleepy. I'm hungry.
I'd like to tear his gizzard out.
Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful.
When he stays out all night, he's always grumpy the next morning.
This will take brains, not brawn.
I was just wonderin', are we good guys or bad guys? You know, I mean, uh? Our robbin' the rich to feed the poor.
Rob? Tsk tsk tsk. That's a naughty word. We never rob. We just sort of borrow a bit from those who can afford it.
Oh, he's so handsome, just like his reward posters.
Wowee! I'm tip-top, alright, but I'm not as good as he is.
Look, why don't you stop moonin' and mopin' around? - Just - Just marry the girl.
Ladies don't start fights, but they can finish them!
Why, your eyes are like sapphires sparkling so bright. They make the morning radiant and light.
Wait a minute. I'm the leader! I'm the one that says when we go.
You FORCE them to like you, idiot!
You get down there and find the big diamond, or you will never see the teddy a - gain!
We're still friends, right?
Don't worry, old fellow. It's not *entirely* hopeless.
There's no evil scheme he wouldn't concoct! No depravity he wouldn't commit.
Now, you will remember to smile for the camera, won't you? Say "Cheese".
I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.
Hey, man, if this is torture, chain me to the wall.
Isn't it rather dangerous to use ones entire vocabulary in a single sentence?
Hey, man, you're ugly! And you're uglier than him! And you're Ugly, Part Three! Hey, you're Revenge of the Ugly!
Ooh, I think she likes me, man!
Hm. Teenagers. They think they know everything. You give them an inch, they swim all over you.
My nerves are shot. This is a catastrophe!
Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it's important!
I just don't see how a world that makes such wonderful things could be bad.
You'll have your looks. Your pretty face and don't underestimate the importance of "body language." Ha!
This has got to be, without a doubt, the single most humiliating day of my life!
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
Well, there's the usual things. Flowers, chocolates, promises you don't intend to keep.
How can you read this? There's no pictures!
This is yet another example of the late neoclassic Baroque period. And, as I always say, "If it's not Baroque, don't fix it!".
Oh dear. That didn't go very well at all, did it?
Couldn't keep quiet, could we? Just had to invite him to stay, didn't we?
I'd like to thank you all for coming to my wedding. But first I'd better go in there and uh, propose to the girl!
All right, Sparky, here's the deal. If you wanna court the little lady, you gotta be a straight shooter. Do ya got it?
No, really. On a scale of one to ten, you are an eleven.
How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Arrrgh! This is the *stupidest* vacation! You drag me from home, jam me into this dumb car, drive me a million miles away to see some stupid rat show!
Oh yes, the past can hurt. But from the way I see it, you can either run from it, or... learn from it.
I'm surrounded by idiots...
I laugh in the face of danger
Being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble
For what? This? I've gotten out of worse scrapes than this. Can't think of anything right now, but.
I'd rather die tomorrow than live a hundred years without knowing you.
Is this bottomless pit a friend of yours?
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
You uncultured swine! What're you lookin' at, ya hockey puck?
I've set my laser from stun to kill.
Oh, great. If anyone attacks we can blink em' to death.
Candlelight, privacy, music. Can't think of a better place for hand-to-hand combat.
Speaking of trouble, we should have run into some by now.
Why is it, whenever we meet, I end up bleeding?
You leave town for a couple of decades and they change everything.
I'm a damsel, I'm in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.
You know, wh-when I was a kid, I-I would have given anything to be exactly like everybody else.
Fabulous party. You know, I haven't seen this much love in a room since Narcissus discovered himself.
Would you like to stay forever?
My little baby, off to destroy people.
Ooh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover. Come on, scare me, girl!
They popped out of the snow, like daisies!
First rule of leadership: Everything is your fault.
You listen to me, my boy. I've made a living out of being a failure, and you, sir, are not a failure.
Do I look stupid to you?
I was saved! I was saved by a flying wild man in a loincloth.
Are you sure this water's sanitary? It looks questionable to me!
Um, okay, but it won't be the same coming from me.
But I don't wanna use my head!
I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.
Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall.
It's called a "cruel irony", like my dependence on you.
Why do we even *have* that lever?
Break it down? Are ya kidding me? This is hand-carved mahogany.
That is the last time we take directions from a squirrel.
Oh, he's doing his own theme music? Big, dumb and tone deaf.
Is there anything on this menu that is not swimming in gravy?
We done a lot of things we're not proud of. Robbing graves, eh, plundering tombs, double parking. But, nobody got hurt. Well, maybe somebody got hurt, but nobody we knew.
Hey, look, I made a bridge. It only took me like, what? Ten seconds? Eleven, tops.
Well, as far as me goes, I just like to blow things up.
C'mon, fight that plaque! Fight that plaque! Scary monsters don't have plaque!'
Now, put that thing back where it came from, or so help me...!
Ha, ha, ha. You've been jealous of my good looks since the fourth grade, pal.
You know, like on the street, with the honk-honk and the vroom-vroom, and the no walking involved?
Ohana means family. Family means nobody gets left behind, or forgotten.
My friends need to be punished.
Leave me alone to diiieee...
This is you, and this is your badness level. It's unusually high for someone your size.
You'll like it, 'cause it's stinky, LIKE YOU!
"Oh, look at me, I'm a flippy little dolphin, let me flip for you! Ain't I something?"
Well, you never really know you know, but when they know, you'll know, ya know?
There he is. Ha ha! Come here, loverboy.
I mean, who wants the pressure of being super all the time?
You know?! For a little bit. I feel like the maid: "I just cleaned up this mess! Can we keep it clean for, for 10 minutes?! Please?!"
Now, I'll tell you what we're not gonna do. We're not gonna panic, we're not gonna die.
I never look back, darling. It distracts from the now.
Boy, I'm pretty good at this lawyerin' stuff!
You and me... we're in a club now.
Swear you'll take us there. Cross your heart! Cross it! Cross your heart!
I know this may seem boring, but I think the boring stuff is what I remember the most.
I was hiding under your porch because I love you.
There is no way I am kissing a frog and eating a bug on the same day.
If I can mince, you can dance.
I was beginning to think wishing on stars was just for babies and crazy people...
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no. This is bad. This is very, very bad. This is really bad'!
Stay calm. It can probably smell fear.
I've always wanted to go out with a bang!
Yeah, this one we caught sticking his bumper where it didn't belong!
I'm bad, and that's good. I will never be good, and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me.
I don't wanna be the bad guy anymore.
Well, this place just got interesting.
Tut tut! As your merciful princess, I hereby decree that everyone who was ever mean to me shall be… executed.
They get away with murder! I can never get away with anything!
I'm gonna wipe the floor with that little know-it-all.
Wait, what am I looking at right now? Why are you hanging off the earth like a bat?
I've always wanted a nose! So cute; it's like little baby unicorn!
Oh, look at that. I've been impaled.
On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate your pain?
Hey, kid? If you're pullin' my leg, I'm gonna eat yours.
I'm doing the happy dance, I'm not wearing any pants!
Crying helps me slow down and obsess over the weight of life's problems.
Well, he was right about one thing; I don't know when to quit!
Never let them see that they get to you.
It's called a hustle, sweetheart.
Life isn't some cartoon musical where you sing a little song and all your insipid dreams magically come true! So let...it...go.
I'm sorry. I gotta blink. How do you hold your eyes open that long?
You trust her. Becky's eating a cup.
When you use a bird to write with, it's called tweeting.
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2020: Who Saw THIS Coming?
Remember when I retired from blogging?
I actually did retire, except, I consider this little corner of the Internet -- MY corner -- to be a place where I document the big stuff. I told you about my engagement and then came back several months later to recap my wedding. Remember that? The wedding that THANKFULLY occurred in late 2019 before the world turned to shit??
Yeah. You know what happened. “The pandemic.” “The virus.” “Covid.” Covid-19″ (I personally prefer the first five Covids; I feel like they really fell off after that). “CORONAVIRUS.”
THE DUMPSTER FIRE THAT IS...2020.
Suuuuuuuuure, good ol’ Rona robbed Leo and me of our Italian honeymoon, but aside from that? We were able to squeeze in all kinds of fun things in good ol 2019 -- oh how I miss you, 2019 -- and have an unforgettable year. This year is proving to be unforgettable too -- just, ya know -- in like, a traumatizing sorta way.
Anyway, as I was saying, I have to document the big stuff on here. I imagine myself reading and looking back on this blog like an old, embarrassing diary (hell, I do it already) (the dating posts make me want to die) and who can omit THIS chapter? It’s got it all: a deadly virus, racially fueled riots and protesting, social injustice, a deranged madman in the oval office, and... MURDER HORNETS?
exactly.
So rather than write out a whole long thing about my experience in 2020, I thought I’d break it down by month, starting in March. I’m going to be documenting the good, the BAD (there’s a decent amount of that), and anything new that transpired in that time frame. Did I take up any hobbies? Start baking sourdough? I guess you’ll find out.
Let’s start with:
MARCH.
The good. There was immediately a novelty to this whole Covid-19 thing. In the first half of the month I was commuting, going to work in my NYC office, and doing my usual amount of social things on weekends. When it was decided in mid-March that we’d have to work and stay home for a “bit” (lol), there was something exciting about it. We made jokes about social distancing and masks and had cutesy puns for “quarantining.” We hit the ground RUNNING with Zoom calls/video chats. There was something fun and exhilarating about all this.
The bad. People I KNOW got this virus. People I know LOST people to this virus. My Grandma’s health took a turn and things did not look good, but I couldn’t go see her. Shit, I didn’t see ANYONE except Leo, and even he was going to work in his office every day. I had to get used to this abrupt abundance of...alone time.
What’s new? I’ve always taken to social media as a creative outlet, but I QUICKLY started using it more -- and differently -- once things in the world got hairy. I treated my Instagram like my one gateway to the outside world, because it was: I surveyed my followers and asked how they were doing. I took silly videos talking to myself in the mirror. I wrote long captions on my photos letting everyone know what my experience was like. I tried to entertain those who were stuck at home, as I was, and needing an escape.
Oh, and ya know... Tiger King.
APRIL.
The good. The weather was getting nicer, so Leo and I took advantage and often went for walks around our complex and even a local trail/preserve in our town. We started doing “lawn visits” to see our families from a distance, and that helped. For two people who were used to seeing their ‘people’ regularly, 3-4 weeks of not seeing them took a toll. I also started doing “Grateful April” on Instagram, where I shared a few things each day that made me happy/appreciative. Some followers of mine followed suit, which was awesome to see.
The bad. Hmm, I think all this sitting and lack of moving is hurting my back? (#foreshadowing). Also, ENOUGH with the Zoom calls and “virtual happy hours,” for the LOVE OF GOD! Oh, and that “novelty” I mentioned in March? That wore off quickly, and a lot of us started to feel weird, sad, isolated, uneasy, unproductive and stir-crazy. Myself included.
We were also reminded that this was the month we were supposed to depart for our honeymoon. Ugh.
What’s New? I did some arts & crafts (I painted ceramic bowls I bought from Target), gave myself a mediocre pedicure, found new/creative ways to engage and interact with folks on social media (polls, asking questions like “what’s in your Amazon cart?” and “who sponsors your quarantine?”), and got to see what it was like to have a husband with hair. I also discovered my love of tie-dye and wore...a lot of it.
Oh, and I was on CBS news talking about screen time. Iconic.
MAY.
The good. The weather got summer-like and I definitely felt a MAJOR shift in my mood. Leo and I spent more time outside on our deck: listening to music, making margaritas, talking to neighbors. I even took work calls outside and got some much-needed Vitamin D. I had my first real “beach days” (bathing suit, chair and all). I started to FINALLY see my family in person; first, outside only -- and then eventually indoors.
The bad. Ahmaud Arbery. George Floyd, obviously. Dumb-dumbs protesting the lock-down and demanding haircuts. CLEARLY more to come on this. (See: June)
Oh, and my back pain? WAY worse.
What’s new? Some more arts and crafts: I started painting shells I found on the beach (lol). I bought a pair of Crocs and documented the most absurd series on social media where I paired the heinous footwear with items that rhymed (Crocs & socks, Crocs & shamrocks, Crocs & botox...you get the idea.) I experimented with a few new recipes (made lemon poppy muffins & homemade vodka sauce). I re-watched Mad Men and it made me miss my office and coworkers.
JUNE. A rough one.
The good. We started doing more social things with our families: BBQs, celebrating Father’s Day, our nephew’s baptism. Doing this truly felt like “normalcy” and in those moments, we’d forget about all the garbage going on around us. I also decided (yes, after 3 friggin months of lock-down) that I needed to start exercising; something I needed for my physical AND mental health. I thought it could help my back -- which, yes, was feeling worse as time went on -- and it did make me feel good to spend a little time each day walking, jogging, lifting weights and just MOVING.
The bad. Um? Everything? For starters, the racial tension in the country came to a head and erupted in a MAJOR way -- and while the protests and all the #BlackLivesMatter movements were a positive thing, it absolutely brought out the WORST in so many others. There was rioting, looting and violence. Racism ran RAMPANT. Karens went wild. “Covidiots” were ENRAGED about being told to wear masks. There was police brutality and a President who threw fuel into the fire. Tensions and emotions were at an all-time high and we all got a harsh dose of reality that this country has SO FAR TO GO in regards to equality and civil rights and even basic human decency. I was -- and still am -- sad for this country.
Also? I finally went for an MRI on my back and found out I have two herniated discs; well THAT certainly helps explain things! Shortly after, I pull my back out entirely, and could not walk or move. The pain is excruciating; debilitating and I think, “can things get any worse?” and then...
My Grandma passes away.
It hurts. It still does. It was inevitable -- as death is, especially given her age and health condition at the time -- but it still felt like taking a bullet. I will always be grateful that I was able to get to see her one day before she passed away to say goodbye, but it’s hard not to be resentful that she didn’t get the memorial service and send-off she so deserved because of the pandemic.
(Side note: read about my amazing Grandma HERE)
In short, June sucked.
What’s new? We got a new stationary bike and set it up outside on the deck which was awesome, and I ended the month getting some epidural shots at the spine doctor. While the (strong) meds and injections didn’t exactly *cure* my issue, they made things a LOT better. Leo and I also drove into NYC (my first time there in MONTHS!) so I could go get my migraine Botox treatment at my neurologist.
I voted by mail (which is not fraudulent, by the way) (#eyeroll) in the NY Primary.
I also got not one, but TWO, amazing rainbows the week my grandmother passed away. I needed those, and I’d like to think she knew that.
JULY.
The good. More beach days and some consistent amazing weather (thanks, Mother Nature!). I started seeing a chiropractor twice a week and quickly respond REALLY WELL to treatment and start feeling a lot better. I put things into perspective and realize how lucky I am to live where I do -- on the beach -- and get to enjoy all this newfound free time doing things I enjoy. We also celebrate some family birthdays and have a small family gathering in honor of our beloved Dorothy.
Have you noticed that “seeing family” always ends up in my “good” section?
The bad. Naya Rivera died unexpectedly, John Lewis died, REGIS died. Our President remains as unhinged as ever, we desperately want to #FreeBritney, and Kanye West has a really sad, scary and concerning, uh, episode. He’s also running for President, maybe? Or not? On a personal note, Leo and I tried to eat dinner on the beach one night and LIT-rally got attacked by seagulls. Weeks later, bull sharks are spotted in the ocean RIGHT WHERE WE LIVE, and they prohibit swimming.
What’s new? Hamilton on Disney+: need I say more? The fig tree that’s been on our deck for three summers FINALLY started to grow figs! I re-watched Broad City and it is just... *chef’s kiss* perfection. Taylor Swift releases her album ‘folklore’ and I listen on repeat for seven days straight.
AUGUST.
Well, who knows? We’re not there yet. 2020 has certainly been a ride (and it’s not over yet; dear GOD), and I still can’t believe it ended up being this insane year, unlike anything I’ve EVER experienced. And while it undoubtedly has come with its fair share of challenges, it has also come with some blessings.
I have all this extra time now and I make a point to use it productively (most days). I log off from working and go outside, I walk the beach, go in our complex pool, ride the stationary bike, catch up with friends/family on the phone, read, and watch/re-watch shows.
The commute and hustle and bustle of every day in my pre-pandemic life would make me stressed and anxious; I was constantly snoozing alarm clocks, rushing in the mornings, dealing with overcrowded/delayed trains, and getting home late each night.
Life has become slower, in a good way, and it’s made me appreciate the simple things. I care less about material things and more about the basics: enjoying nice weather/the outdoors, my home, my husband, my family and close friends.
I genuinely stopped caring about getting my hair and nails done, going out to dinner, getting dolled up, or traveling. Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy all these things and I’ll of course do them again, but this whole situation made me realize that what I need *most* in this world are the simple joys that money can’t buy.
And for that? I’m grateful.
*stay safe, friends.*
#coronavirus#pandemic#life#2020#this year#recap#family#blm#year in review#my life#covid#life as we know it#changes#death#loss#love#beach
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Lamar Jackson and Mark Ingram’s friendship is so much fun
Photo by Michael Reaves/Getty Images
The two have been hyping each other up all season, and it’s awesome to see.
The Baltimore Ravens and their explosive offense has taken the NFL by storm during the 2019 season. The two biggest stars from the system, quarterback Lamar Jackson and running back Mark Ingram, are a dynamic duo on the field.
This season, each rushed for 1,000 yards — just the seventh time a pair of teammates have done that in a single season. In total, they’ve combined for 5,598 yards of total offense, accounting for almost the entirety of the Ravens’ yardage this season. This is first season the two have played together, too. Ingram started his career with the New Orleans Saints, where he played for eight seasons from 2011-18, and the Ravens picked him up as a free agent in the offseason.
It’s worked out for Ingram and Jackson on the field, but what’s even more awesome to see is their friendship off it. Throughout their first season playing together, the two have been supporting each other along the way.
It’ll be a joy to watch that continue into the playoffs
Even before the Ravens were seen as legitimate Super Bowl contenders, Ingram had high praise for Jackson.
In Jackson’s rookie season, he was known for what he did running the ball, with 17 rushing attempts per game in his seven as a starter. Then, in the first two weeks of the 2019 season, he threw for more touchdowns (7) than he did in all of 2018 (6). But he was still running the ball with moves like he was playing in a video game. In Week 3, he did both, scoring a rushing touchdown late in the fourth quarter, and throwing for 267 yards in a 33-28 loss to the Chiefs. One of his runs in the first quarter looked doomed at the start, until Jackson (somehow) made magic:
Lamar Jackson is a master at making something out of nothing @Lj_era8 pic.twitter.com/mhGgeWsCmU
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) September 22, 2019
Ingram was asked the following week about what it was like to see Jackson make defenders look so silly when he takes off on the run.
“He’s wild, man, like, he’s amazing,” Ingram said. I don’t think there’s anything like him in the league as far as just extending plays and being able to juke defenders. He’s special. Sometimes he’s scrambling and we’re all out there like: ‘Do we block? Do we trying to get open?’ You know what I mean, it’s just like you’re trying to be there for him, but he’s just doing crazy stuff. But that’s why he’s a special player he can extend plays and buy time for us to get open.”
As the season progressed, Jackson and Ingram continued to power the Ravens into an offensive juggernaut. Since a Week 4 loss to the Cleveland Browns, the Ravens have gone undefeated and earned the No. 1 seed in the AFC. Throughout the year, the two kept hyping each other up.
After Baltimore’s 41-7 win over the Houston Texans in Week 11, Ingram introduced Jackson at his press conference.
At this point in the season, Jackson was the MVP frontrunner. The Ravens were 8-2, and had just demolished another AFC contender. Jackson had already racked up 2,258 passing yards, 19 touchdowns, and just six interceptions, along with 781 rushing yards and six more scores on the ground.
Ingram took a stand for Jackson’s MVP candidacy after the game, and also said anyone who has a problem with Jackson winning MVP can come see him about that:
youtube
“Now I would like to introduce y’all to the man, the myth, the legend. The MVP frontrunner, if anybody else has something different to say about that then come see me. I’m right here in B-More outside the bank if you have an issue with that come see me, I’m ‘bout that! Big truss, Lamar Jackson in the flesh.”
Sidenote: ‘big truss’ has emerged as a team motto for Baltimore this season. Jackson has been tweeting it since last season, but it caught on with the rest of the Ravens this year. The definition has a lot of different meanings to certain players, via the Baltimore Sun:
[Kicker Justin] Tucker’s interpretation was more personal. “Truss that if I say it, I mean it,” he said. “It’s that simple.”
Defensive tackle Michael Pierce called it a “mixed-use word,” something like Owings Mills’ answer to the Hawaiian word “aloha.”
“Depending on who you’re talking to, it may mean different things,” he said. “For me, it just means you trust your brother, you trust your family, and we all got each other’s backs.”
It wasn’t until Ingram’s press conference and usage of the word at the podium that others knew about it being used in the locker room.
Jackson and Ingram have even done the same touchdown celebration dances.
During the Ravens’ big 45-6 Week 12 win over the Los Angeles Rams, Jackson copied a move Ingram did on a previous score:
1. Mark Ingram’s TD celebration 2. Lamar doing the same celebration on the other side of the field @Lj_era8 @markingram21 pic.twitter.com/2QYrmznK3X
— The Checkdown (@thecheckdown) November 26, 2019
Jackson finished with five passing touchdowns against the Rams on Monday Night Football. Ingram added two more touchdowns — one rushing and one receiving. After the game, Ingram once again urged anyone who has a problem with Jackson winning the MVP to “come see him.”
“Come SEE ME. LJ for MVP. If you gotta problem, come see ME.” Ravens RB Mark Ingram reiterates that he believes Lamar Jackson should win MVP.https://t.co/8azcNxTE3n pic.twitter.com/yt5mVLzWqN
— CBS Sports HQ (@CBSSportsHQ) November 26, 2019
At this point, Ingram should be named Jackson’s MVP campaign manager. In fact, I hope Ingram introduces Jackson when he inevitably accepts the award, TBH.
In Week 15, the Ravens clinched the AFC North with a 42-21 victory against the Jets.
Jackson rushed for 86 yards and broke Michael Vick’s single-season rushing record during the Thursday Night Football game. Fox sideline reporter Erin Andrews let Ingram conduct a postgame interview with Jackson. The result was television gold (it starts right around the 1:30 mark)
"Hell yeah! I mean heck yeah!" STOP EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING AND WATCH THIS POSTGAME INTERVIEW NOW.@Ravens | @ErinAndrews | @Lj_era8 | @markingram21 pic.twitter.com/z6L0IAZTka
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) December 13, 2019
Jackson: “It feels good, but you know we have a lot of season left to play and we have two more banners to hang up.”
Ingram: “So you’re telling me the story’s unwritten right now?”
Jackson: “Unwritten right now.”
Ingram: “Book unfinished?”
Jackson: “Right.”
I’d love to see Ingram interview Jackson more often, just saying.
In Week 16 against the Cleveland Browns, Ingram finally reached the 1,000-yard mark for the Ravens on the season.
Ingram rushed for 55 yards in the Ravens’ 33-15 win over Cleveland, and it put him at 1,018 yards on the season. But Jackson didn’t know he had eclipsed 1,000 yards until CBS Sports’ Tracy Wolfson told him during the postgame interview, and Jackson’s reaction was priceless:
Lamar Jackson didn’t realize Mark Ingram reached the 1,000 yard rushing mark for the @Ravens until his post-game interview. His reaction was priceless. pic.twitter.com/hrtFFdnMLg
— NFLonCBS (@NFLonCBS) December 22, 2019
The Week 16 game ended up being the last time these two played in the regular season, as they rested up for the playoffs during the Ravens’ Week 17 game against the Steelers.
It’s really fun to see a team that seems to love each other go so far.
This season, we saw John Harbaugh gush on the sideline about how his QB has changed the game forever. Jackson is convincing his head coach to go for it on fourth down like he’s a kid playing in the schoolyard. The Ravens are even running things like the Heisman formation, featuring Heisman winners Ingram, Jackson, and backup QB Robert Griffin III in the backfield.
Ingram and Jackson’s relationship epitomizes just how fun this Ravens team is. Ingram is currently questionable for the Ravens’ first playoff game against the Titans this weekend. But whether he’ll be on the field or on the sideline, he’ll be cheering Jackson on more than anyone.
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