#we better get some more blues like this on the new album

[hailthegodsong]

stop flirting with me daniel

[b3ach-bunn7]

DONT SMILE

Dabi is your unfairly attractive bandmate, and the two of you stay late in the studio to finish a song (and each other)

NSFW, BandAU, head on both ends if u get my drift

(Guys this is my first time writing smut plz be nice 🙏)

(Also song used in the fic + title is don’t smile by Sabrina c plz listen)

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The sound of Dabi absentmindedly plucking his bass fills the studio. He’s lounging across the couch, legs holding up the dark blue instrument as his fingers drag over the frets lazily. He’s wearing a vest, the white fabric stretched tight over his skin. The jeans he’s wearing are slung low on his hips, and you avert your eyes as he adjusts them, hips lifting from their place on the couch to drag them down.

You’re on the other end of the room, swinging back and forth on a desk chair. The room is hot. The studio was small, the same one your band, LOV, had started out in. Despite being more than popular enough to rent something bigger, there’s a weird obligation you all feel, too attached to where you started to ever leave. You and Dabi are supposed to be writing new songs,  working on stuff for the upcoming album, but you’re not bothered. You can’t think. As the lead singer, lyrics are usually your forte but you’ve got no energy for it. The others aren’t even here, and that only makes you want to work even less. That, and the fact that Dabi is an ample distraction.

He groans from the couch. You glance at him over your shoulder. He’s looking at you impatiently.

“Let’s go home. I’m sick of this shit.”

You sigh, leaning your head back on the chair. “No, we have to stay. We haven’t written anything in ages.”

“Uhm, speak for yourself. I have some things. Riffs.” He plays something small to demonstrate and you roll your eyes.

“And how is that any help without everyone else here? We need all instruments present to actually make a song.” 

Dabi huffs. He places the bass to the side, stretching. His arms reach above his head, shirt lifting up to reveal his happy trail and you sigh.

Of course Dabi is attractive. It doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. And yes, you also find his personality attractive. He was funny, that calm confidence he always spoke in, his flirty nature, it was all alluring. You’d see him dragging enough girls out the tour bus in the mornings to know you aren’t the only one who feels this way. Unfortunately though, the amount of women he’d been with, plus the fact it’s never a good idea to date a bandmate, means you keep your distance.

This doesn’t stop him from flirting with you at every available second. You’d like to say that you’re immune to it, but that unfaltering attention from Dabi isn’t something you think you could ever get used to.

“What about you? You got any lyrics down?” He asks. 

You frown. You walk over to him, nudging his legs over. You sit next to him and he leans over your shoulder to read the scribbled notes you’d been writing the past couple hours. You huff, pushing his leg further away from yours. It’s currently pressed flush against yours, and his thigh is warm. He’s always so warm.

“Can you stop manspreading?” You mumble, pushing his leg away.

“Aw, you know you love it.” He grins, leaning even closer, eyes never leaving your notes. 

You roll your eyes, but you don’t do much to fight the close proximity. His hand reaches up to stabilise the paper and his fingertips brush the back of your hand. 

“Mediocre.” 

You gape. “Mediocre? I’d like to see you write any better.” You snatch the paper from him and he shrugs.

“It's not bad. It’s just too sappy. Nobody believes that romantic shit is actually real.” He says. 

You bite your lip, thinking. Dabi’s criticism is enough to have you doubting the whole song, and you groan. “Why did you have to say that? Now I hate it.”

“Good.”

You knock his side with your elbow and he tuts. 

“You asked.”

“I didn’t.” You go to elbow him again but he grabs it before you can. You think you can feel the callouses on the tips of his fingers as his hand touches your bare skin. You shrug him off. 

“You asked to see, but I didn’t ask for any feedback.” You say.

Dabi sits up slightly. He tilts his head, strands of black hair dipping to the side. His eyes flit over you quickly.

“Well. We’re a team, no? Don’t you want my feedback?”

You lean your head against the back of the couch. “I guess.”

He reaches over to grab the paper again. “Good girl.”

You flush slightly. “Don’t call me that.”

“You love it.”

You decide it’s better for the both of you if you don’t answer that. You look at the vinyl hung up on the walls, the pictures of you guys at award shows. Anything to distract you from the man sitting next to you.

“I think you should flip it.”

You turn to him now, and he’s already looking up at you. “What?”

“You see like this line? ‘Don’t cry because it’s over baby smile because it happened?’ Swap it so it’s like, ‘Don’t smile because it happened baby, cry because it’s over’.” 

You furrow your brows. “That’s depressing as hell, though. It’s meant to be a love song.” 

“That’s love, though.” He slides the paper back into your hands. “Depressing as shit.”

You scoff. “What do you know about love?”

He grins then, so boyish and teasing. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Yeah, that’s why I asked.”

He huffs a laugh. “Love is overrated. That’s what I know.”

You roll your eyes. “You sound stupid. This isn’t some Disney channel movie, love isn’t overrated.” 

“Hm. Agree to disagree.”

You quickly get up to grab a pen. You could sit further away, but you plant yourself right where you were before, and you ignore the knowing look Dabi gives you. “Okay, help me change the other lyrics then. Since this is now a hate song.”

Dabi laughs. “Not hate. Just not love either. A nice in between.”

“Hush. Okay, so this song is about. Well it’s about being okay with a breakup.”

“Is that the case for most people though? I mean, go the other way. Write a song about the pining, the feelings you can’t get over. Not being okay with a breakup.”

You always see Dabi at his most passionate when he’s talking about music. He spends most of his days lazy and indifferent, but now, his eyes shine brightly as he speaks, as animated as you see him get. You smile slightly, nodding.

“Okay. That sounds good. You have to help me though.” 

“God, if I have to.” 

The two of you sit for the next few minutes, squabbling and disagreeing half the time. You think the songs too negative and Dabi assures you it’s not.

“I mean, it’s all about the singer being in love with someone she doesn’t have. This line, ‘I want you to miss me’ or this one, about ‘thinking about me when you hold her’. It’s depressing, no?”

“But that’s what relationships are like.”

You slump back. You’re now cross legged on the couch, Dabi the same, the two of you conferring over the sheets of paper in front of you. There’s ink on your fingertips from writing and you tap the pen on your chin.

“Not necessarily. Not always.”

Dabi shrugs. “Definitely not always. But we can write about when it is. We’ve got plenty of love songs, but. We don’t have many focusing on this.”

“What’s this?”

Dabi paused for a second. It’s silent for a second too long, and you look up at him to see he’s already looking at you. There’s an expression on his face you don’t recognise. You smile slightly, confused, and it seems to jog him out of his silence.

“That longing. Wanting something, someone, so badly and not being able to have them. The pain of it.” 

He speaks softly, his voice nearly a whisper just between the two of you. You notice suddenly, the proximity between the two of you. If you just lean forward a few inches, you’d be touching. 

“You really think a relationship should be that hard? That painful?”

“No one writes good songs about the ones that come easy.”

You laugh softly. You scratch your chin. “Okay. That’s good, then. Let’s finish the rest.”

The two of you sit there, working away. You’ve never really been this alone with Dabi, not this late at night. There’s no windows in the studio, but you know from time and the fact sleep aches under your skin that it’s late. Somehow, you end up  closer. Dabi reaches over to write something and your hands brush, you stretch and your arms touch. Both of you are desperately trying to get in contact just once, just for a second. After what feel like forever you throw your pen to the floor.

“God. I’m done. I’m tired.” You suddenly say.

“Yeah, I think we’re done here.” Dabi speaks through a yawn, dropping the papers on the coffee table in front of him. 

You curl up on the couch, propping your head against Dabi’s shoulder. “You know when the next rehearsal is?” He asks.

Dabi scratches at the scruff on his chin and you think for a second. “Two days, I’m pretty sure” 

Dabi curses softly under his breath. “I don’t think I can make it.”

“Uh, why not?”

“I’m busy.”

“Doing what?”

“Doing who, more like.”

You sit up. “Who?”

Dabi grins. He brings his arms up to rest on the back of the couch. “You jealous, baby?”

“I’m not jealous of your little groupies.” You scoff. 

Dabi barks out a laugh. “Groupies? The fuck are you talking about?”

It’s your turn to laugh. “Oh, come on! Last tour you brought one back like, every night.”

“They wanted autographs!”

“Fuck off!” You laugh. “Those were very vocal autographs. You do realise the tour bus walls are very thin?” There’d been nights when you’d felt like you were in the room with them. 

“Aw, if you wanted to get involved all you had to do was ask.” Dabi pouts, his voice teasing.

“Shut up, you pervert. You wish.”

“I do wish.” 

“Degenerate.”

He reaches a hand up to brush a strand of your hair behind your ear. You freeze slightly and when he moves his hand away you turn, knowing the bright lights won’t hide the red on your face.

“Didn’t mean to be so loud. They can’t help it, you know. Not when I’m there.”

You scoff. “Right. Is that where you learnt all about love?”

“You could say. I know they loved it.”

It was no secret that Dabi slept around. You’d all been victim to the girls he took to bed, screaming his name late into the night when you’d all be trying to sleep after a show. Yeah, you’d had sex before, but it had never been like that. Didn’t have you yelling the way they did. It did make you wonder, some nights.

But you’re not going to let him know that. Your face twists in disgust. “Gross. I don’t need to know that.”

“Really?”

“Yes really.”

Dabi sighs. He sits up slightly. “Shame. I’d show you such a good time if you’d let me.”

And that has you thinking.

Because there he goes again, flirting and saying such suggestive things. You never play along because you always argue that he’s just joking. He doesn’t mean it. And you could shut it down right now. Really. One shove of his shoulder, one excuse that you’re tired and he’s being gross would have him backing off.

But Dabi is looking at you under impossibly long lashes, impossibly blue eyes trailing over your body, before they land back on your face.  He’s looking at you like he’s not joking anymore, and the part of you that wants to scream like those girls did has you meeting his gaze with competition. 

“Really?”

If he looks shocked at your reply, he doesn’t show it. He just inches closer. “Of course. You know I’d treat you right. If you’d let me.” 

You're a breath away from each other. You’re not sure how, but you’re both sitting up again, face to face. You can smell the cigarette smoke that always seems to linger around him, the too strong cologne that never manages to hide it. This close you can see freckles on his face, so light you don’t think you ever would’ve noticed them otherwise. You want to reach out and touch them but you’re frozen. Waiting.

The both of you are silent. You let it linger, wait for him to make the next move. 

“You’re gorgeous. Do you know that? I’m always watching you on stage. When you’re singing. Can’t get enough of you.”

He reaches a hand up. A hand rests on your shoulder, right against your pulse. His fingers curl up against your face, trailing down your cheek.

“And those groupies you were talking about? Fuck, I wish it was you. Wish it was you I was making scream on my tongue, do you know that?” 

You don’t say anything. You don’t think you could if you tried. Dabi smiles.

“You know you do this thing. When we’re working. You always bite on the end of the pen.” 

His fingers trail over your lips. His thumb rubs at your chin. 

“Drives me fucking crazy.”

Your breath hitches as his hand curls around your neck with more purpose.

“I’m gonna kiss you now. That okay?”

You nod.

“I need to hear you say it, baby.”

“Yes, yes it’s okay-“

Your words are breathless and desperate but no more desperate than Dabi is when he pulls you forward, crashes his lips against yours. He makes a sound, almost whining as he curls a hand in your hair. And it’s like everything you always thought it would be, as fast and as hot as you’d imagined. The hand on your neck reaches down, dipping under your shirt and pulling it over your head. You’re only in your bra, and you feel shy suddenly. Because you’re not the prettiest girl he’s ever met, you know that. Your arms curl around your body and he pulls away for just one second to shake his head, breathing heavily. His hands pull your arms away, grabbing both your wrists in one.

“Don’t do that, baby. I wanna see you.” He murmurs.

He kisses down your neck. His lips suck marks into your skin, and you should tell him to stop because people will see it all tomorrow but you want him to mark you up. You want him to see them tomorrow, see them at rehearsals and remember it was him who put them there.

He licks at your pulse and he pulls back. He reaches behind and with one hand, unclips your bra. The ease in which he does it should alarm you slightly, but then he continues down, and his hands on your breasts is enough to render any thoughts in your head useless. He grabs them both and he groans.

“These tits. So soft, so beautiful.” He whispers the words into your skin like they’re not even meant for you.

He pinches your left nipple before sucking it into your mouth. You whine, hands reaching up into his hair, tugging at his shirt. Because you suddenly feel horribly underdressed compared to him, shirtless as he moves to give attention to your other nipple. He tugs his shirt up quickly, and you let your hands travel up his torso. You feel the lean muscle under his arms, trace the scars across his body. He lets go suddenly. 

“Come on, baby. Take these off.” He tugs at your jeans and you quickly slips them off. His hands slips your underwear away as well, throwing them to the side. 

Dabi moves quickly into the floor until he’s kneeling in front of you, arms resting on your legs as he spreads your thighs apart.

“Dabi? What- What are you doing?”

“You call me Touya when I make you come on my tongue, you hear me?”

You curse, breath hitching as he kisses the soft skin of your thighs, fingers rubbing up and down the side of your hip. “It’s okay. You don’t- You don’t have to.”

Dabi, or Touya now, looks confused. He tilts his head slightly, lips red and kissed out, hair mussed from where you had been grabbing it. “Have to? I’ve been dreaming about this pussy for so long, baby, you don’t even know.” 

He looks at you with so much want in his eyes. He bites softly into your thigh and you squeal, and he grins. 

“If it was up to me, I’d sit you on my face and eat you out until you can’t speak, but. We’re on a time crunch here.” 

He presses a chaste kiss to your clit and you shudder. Two fingers reach and part your folds and Dabi makes a low sound in the back of his throat.

“So wet. Is this all for me?”

“Touya, stop teasing.” You huff, squirming in your place.

Touya drags his fingers down, face so close you can feel his breaths. “Ask me nicely.”

“Please, Touya.” You grit out, sitting up in your elbows to glare down at him.

“Please what?”

“Please-“ Your cheeks flush red because he’s not even looking at you. His eyes are focused between your legs like he’s seen heaven between them.

“Please, make me cum, you prick.” You say with a shiver.

And it’s that tiny shiver that seems to set him off because he’s suddenly kissing and sucking at your lips, tongue digging inside your pussy and tracing circles around your clit. Your hips rock forward as you moan, and he holds you down easily so he can continue.

You have been eaten out a few times before. It never felt like something to enjoy, the boyfriend or hookup always doing it to get something over with, to tick a box. But what makes your toes curl, what makes you inch that much closer to cumming, is the fact that Dabi is eating you like a man starved. He’s groaning, eyes fluttering shut as he takes slow, purposeful mouthfuls of your pussy like he’s doing it for him and not you. 

“Taste so good. You been hiding this from me?”

“Touya- fuck.” You grab his hair and tug, and he moans.

“Yeah, good girl. Do that again.” 

You comply, his name a ramble on your lips as your hips buck again. Your core aches and you voice reaches an embarrassingly high pitch as he kisses your clit again. It takes an embarrassingly short time for you to reach the edge. “Da-Touya, I’m, I’m close,” you breathe, hands clutching at the couch beneath you.

Touya detaches himself from you, eyes glancing up at you. “Yeah? You’re close?”

You nod, whine caught in your throat. Your hips jolt forward as he begins trailing slow circles over your clit with his finger. You whine at the slow contact.

“You wanna cum?”

“Yes. Yes, Touya, please.” You breathe.

“You wanna cum on my tongue, baby?” He whispers and you keen, hand reaching down to tug at his hair again, trying to drag him closer.

“Fucking- Touya, I’ll do it myself if I have to.” 

He laughs at that, quickly returning his attention back between your legs. It’s embarrassingly loud as he sucks at your clit, two fingers reaching inside you to press against that spot that has you moaning his name once more. 

“Good girl, so fucking pretty cumming all over my face.” He groans.

And then you cum, and Touya easily holds your hips down as they shake, his own grinding into the floor beneath him, and he takes you through an orgasm that racks through your body. You think you might pass out from the pleasure that crashes over you so suddenly. His hands grab at your chest, your neck, and when he kisses you again you can taste yourself on his tongue.

He smiles at you again, this time more elated, a wild look in his eyes. 

“You’re gorgeous, you know that?” It takes you a minute before you can reply. You do so but gesturing him up in his feet.

“Here. Come, get up.” You speak suddenly, still breathing heavily.  

Touya looks confused for a second. You drag him up onto the couch, and your eyes trail down, to the obvious bluge in his trousers. And he looks big judging by it, and you think you’re already ready to get off again.

“Your turn. Come on, take these off.” You tap your fingers on his jeans and take his place on the floor.

“God, you know just what to say to a man.”

“Shut up.” 

He uses one hand to unbuckle his belt and he’s just showing off now, you know, but it’s hot and he knows it is. He pulls his jeans down his legs and you let them pool at his feet. And when you pull his cock out it’s long and thick, you find the source of all his arrogance. He catches you looking and he huffs a laugh. His breath hitches as you slide your fingers up the side, tongue reaching out to lick at the tip, hard and leaking precum.

“You know, you always, fuck, you always deny it, sweetheart, but look at you.” He groans as you lick a stripe up his cock. “On your knees for me.” 

“I always imagined taking you right here, in the studio, bending you over this couch and fucking you until you’re screaming nothing but my name, squirming and begging on my dick.” Your thighs clench and he sees it, a nasty smirk on his face as you take him into your mouth.

“You want that too, angel? Want me to make you scream so loudly everyone comes in and, shit, sees you cumming on my cock? You want that?” 

You don’t say anything, can’t, because he fills your mouth so full that you couldn’t speak if you wanted to. His hand reaches into you hair, guiding your head up and down his dick, low moans and grunts leaving his mouth. He’s so vocal, you realise, an endlesss stream of barely coherent praise leaving his mouth as you use yours.

“Fuck, yeah sweetheart, fuck.” His hips buck into your mouth and you nearly choke.

“Come on, I know you can take it. Good girl, good fucking girl.” He groans, pulling your head down further.

Your eyes flutter shut and Touya reaches down with his free hand to brush the tears that fall down your cheeks. You grab into his thighs, nails digging into his skin.

“Taking me so well, baby. Always so fucking mouthy. So pretty when you use it right.” He breathed heavily, jerking into your mouth again.

He starts fucking into your mouth, and you swipe your tongue underneath his dick, the vein that runs down it and he stutters, breathy curses leaving his lips.

“Gonna cum, fuck.” 

Your name slips past his lips in tandem as he bucks into your mouth one last time. Your mouth fills and you swallow, and he pats your cheek as you look back up at him, gasping for breath you pull back. His chest heaves and his eyes are shining brightly again but for a very different reason. You trace the scratches you left on his thighs and he in turns rubs a finger on the hickeys that leave a telling trail down your body.

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i get so cringed out when i write smut but i wanted to do it so i powered through!!! plz give me any tips if u think its bad i greatly appreciate it. i also had noooo idea how to end this oneshot so i lowkey just stopped writing LMAO

anyway.... bass player dabi u live on in my heart kisses forever

[leclercsluvs]

CL16/DR3 | Already Over | smau

part 7 | masterlist

an: i'm not really sure how long this is going to be, but i am pretty sure it's not going to be too many more parts. pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader, daniel ricciardo x fem!reader

charles_leclerc

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris and 5.619.174 others charles_leclerc been working on some new stuff. written for a specific person. love you.

carlossainz55 you're doing everything you can huh?

charles_leclerc i've got to show i'm the one for her landonorris that's the reason you sent her flowers without letting her know? danielricciardo the flowers were from you? maxverstappen1 ooo does charles need to watch out next race?

scfty/n i'm scared this isn't good.

norrislcve oh lord i fear for the next race.

luvsricciardo okay but imagine seeing daniel absolutely fight the shit car he has just so he can threaten charles?? it's gonna be exciiiiting norrislcve and if he takes them both out of the race?? luvsricciardo good for him tbh. charles lowkey deserves it norrislcve you don't even know the full story??? you have a few paparazzi photos and an album FROM ONE SIDE and you decide charles deserves to be taken out of a race? if they can't separate their private life and the race it self, they should NOT be racing.

f1updates

liked by sharllve, lecsluv and 1.279 others f1updates we have been sent these photos that is supposedly yourusername back in ferrari merch. is this a hint towards anything? tagged: yourusername

scfty/n those first two photos are literally old, and the last photo isn't even her?? she posted those two photos on her instagram after one of the first races she attended with charles.

leclrcs i literally saw here there tho, and she was wearing jeans like that scfty/n and that's supposed to prove what? that she reuses jeans? and there's literally two types of jeans here, a pair of black and a pair of light blue 🤨

wrldofleclerc i saw her there, but she was wearing a mclaren jacket (probably to support her bf??)

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 4.719.720 others yourusername well it seems some people were concerned with what i was wearing at the race this weekend. ferrari? nah. mclaren? yes. (he caught me trying to be sneaky while taking a photo) tagged: danielricciardo

danielricciardo to be honest you don't have to be sneaky. you can take photos of me anyday. i know i look good

yourusername you're right. i can take photos of you anytime. because i'm your girlfriend. i dont need permission 🥰 landonorris if he ever says you can't take photos of him, you're free to start taking photos of me 🙃 yourusername might take advantage of that offer. thank you danielricciardo don't steal my girlfriend 😠

y/nsvsp looks better than the red tbh

leclercsbae how dare you? y/nsvsp just speaking the truth 🤷 wrldofy/n can we agree she looks amazing in everything tho?

lecswrld good for you tbh. tell them

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, danielricciardo and 2.823.973 others yourusername all talked out, don't worry no one's being pushed off the track this weekend. right? am i going back to red? never. i found my color 🧡 tagged: charles_leclerc, danielricciardo

danielricciardo speak for yourself, i'm pushing people off the track i need to get back on that podium

charles_leclerc not the best way to do it mate landonorris you're letting me stay right? your favorite teammate? danielricciardo let's see 🤷‍♂️ yourusername don't threaten lando. he's too precious.

lecswrld he already looks so much happier!

rics.aep omggg they're friiiiends

luvsnorris are they getting back together?

leclercsaep i doubt it. with the rumors of him having cheated and her being in a happy relationship, there's a slim chance y/n and charles will get back together

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, pierregasly and 1.718.032 others charles_leclerc was forced to tasted this green thing. never doing that again. absolutely horrifying. tagged: yourusername, maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1 and you loved it

yourusername you charles you loved it >:( charles_leclerc i absolutely did not. i hated it. horrible. worst time of my life. maxverstappen1 worse than qualifying in baku 2019? charles_leclerc blocked.

pierregasly thank you for these photos. they're amazing.

yourusername i have some of max too. wanna see them? charles_leclerc YOU DIDN'T POST THOSE? yourusername no, not yet. do you see them on my profile? maxverstappen1 if you post those, i will make sure both daniel AND charles will end up in the wall on sunday. charles_leclerc you wouldn't danielricciardo i am shook.

comicallec everyone say a thanks to y/n for taking these photos

landonorris thank you y/n 🙏

danielricciardo

liked by yourusername, mclaren and 2.492.129 others danielricciardo back on that top step baby! knew it was possible 💪 tagged: mclaren

landonorris excuse me did you forget that i was there with you???

danielricciardo my dear friend, you are in the second photo. landonorris was expecting more aknowledgement ngl yourusername don't worry i took lots of photos where it's visible landonorris at least someone cares about my feelings

mclaren so proud of our drivers for the 1-2 this weekend! 💪

yourusername

liked by landonorris, danielricciardo and 3.111.304 others yourusername since my boyfriend couldn't care less about including lando, heres a few photos from the weekend that includes lando (i'm aware most of you follow me for my singing and not these randon guys that likes driving fast cars, but i'm just very proud 🥹 i'm leaving for tour in a couple of days and then you'll get all sorts of content) tagged: danielricciardo, landonorris, mclaren

landonorris THANK YOU

danielricciardo you're acting like i didn't include you AT ALL 🥲 landonorris because you barely did maxverstappen1 yeah mate you could have put in some more effort yourusername yeah daniel you could have included at least one more with him. danielricciardo wow i see how it is

ncrrisfav YESSSS gimme gimme gimme

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1.908.166 others landonorris daniel hurt my feelings so he's not being included >:( thank you yourusername for the second photo! amazing weekend. would not recommend drinking champagne from daniel's shoe tho tagged: danielricciardo, mclaren

yourusername yeah honestly drinking from daniel's shoe, disgusting.

danielricciardo and i thought you loved me landonorris your feet sweat tastes disgusting. never doing that again danielricciardo can i bribe you?? landonorris depends how much you're willing to pay yourusername disgusting.

norris.vfx god the content we're getting right now is AMAZING

clarkeybog ikr?? loving it!

-

part 8

[sabi0229]

BENRIUS HEAD CANNONS

HEAD CANNON TIIIMMMMEEEEEEE

CHAOS THEORY VERSION

Ngl i think put some CC stuff in here when this is only supposed to be CT.

Ben is really curious about darius's hair and always him different questions about how he takes care of it ,styles and washes it because he wants to do one date where he surprises him by doing his hair for him instead of Darius going to someone or doing his own hair

Ben can cook better than Darius

Darius bakes lots of stuff in his free time. Ben absolutely loves his baking

Darius wakes up in the middle of night because of nightmares and Ben will just be there for him hugging him the whole time. They'll go down stairs and watch movies till Darius sleepy. Once he is Ben carries him princesses style back to bed.

Ben would probably be the one to put Darius to sleep. Because of how stubborn Darius is and if he say he's not tired he will not go to bed but Ben will physically drag him into bed hug him and just hum songs until he falls asleep

They do arts and crafts as quality time

Ben's love language is physical touch

Darius is love language is giving gifts and talking also physical touch

Ben actually likes mint chocolate chip ice cream and Darius tried it once and he decided that he will never go near that flavor ever again

Darius's contact name in Ben's phone is not Dino nerd or Dino lover but angel from the baby dinosaurs in camp Cretaceous season 5 because Darius is personality reminded him a bit of angel so that's why his contact name is Angel

And Ben's contact number and darius's phone is rebel as an angel's brother because their personalities are so much because rebel was just very chaotic and energetic and so was Ben on the island and Darius is a sort of wanted to match too

When Ben got a new van he styled it the same way he did his old van but not as the exact same but there were similar qualities and there was stuff again in there like food in a boot and his pee bowl of licorice so Darius decided to put on gloves, a mask and get so much cleaning supplies that he cleaned out Ben's van throwed out anything disgusting and decided to give him silverware and dishes and tupperware for his van.( The van is dark blue btw)

Ben had a shark phase and would Yap about sharks like how Darius did dinosaurs and it made Darius fall in love with him even more.

Darius steals Ben shoes,clothes, and beanies

Ben has a ton of pictures of Darius in his phone / and the secret photo album

They would make out for hours ( their love for each other is like a flame that can't be put out.)

Darius visits his college and stays in his dorm for at least a week so Ben doesn't have to keep going to California

The longest they video called was for 5 days

Ben sometimes snores so Darius kicks him causing him to fall out of bed

Darius has a dog Ben has bumpy and a cat

They decided to move to a different house or apartment. Because even though the cabin is nice it was driving Ben insane being isolated for so long (and Darius even though he won't admit it) but they made the cabin their vacation home. To get away from people and a place for bumpy and her baby to live

Their home state/ city both starts with C ( California, Chicago)

Skin care routine

They decide to make out whenever their in danger for some reason

Bens van was their Hangout spot

Ben forgot what Darius was allergic to once and almost killed him.

Got engaged a few years after they saved Brooklyn

Fall wedding

Rock music x Pop music duo

One of them wears cherry flavored chapstick ( can you guess who)

After they got married Darius changed Ben's contract to 💗my idiot husband 💗

Ben changed Darius contract to Hot stuff😍 ( guys we all know he would do this he's silly)

Darius only wears his boxers and Ben's oversized T-shirts to bed ( why because Ben's a natural furnace/ heater)

Bens the opposite he doesn't wear a shirt to sleep because he knows he's an natural furnace/ heater.

When bumpy moved into Darius's backyard Darius and her got a closer bond and it made Ben jealous.

Darius - little spoon sometimes, big spoon always

Ben- always little spoon sometimes big spoon

Part 2?

[two-white-butterflies]

is it over now? | c16

Description: You reminisce about a relationship that was never meant to be. Charles moves on - but you stay there.

Pairing: charles leclerc/short!reader

(not really that short, more like 4'11 - 5'3)

yournamelovely: 1989 (Taylor's Version) is out now! I had so much fun being the only feature in the remastered album. Please listen to 'Is It Over Now?' 💙🦋 Thank you for this beautiful opportunity Tay!

liked by 2,382,012 others

>comments

theraindrops4: I'm so proud of you 😭

taylorswift: 💙

nickdevries: Don't forget us when you're famous. - yournamelovely: Who are you again??

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There were many different ways to get over a breakup; some of them included healing, traveling and finding yourself - but how could you get over Charles fucking Leclerc? He was everything that you wanted in a man - dimpled cheeks, monegasque accent, and a perfect family that you adored. He was everything you needed.

When he decided to call things off three months ago. You haven't been the same. "Congrats on your new song with Taylor! I listened to it and I can't believe you both kept it hidden for 6 years?" Selena chuckled while handing you one of Taylor's famous mocktails.

"It was supposed to be in my debut album - but it didn't make sense. Now, I think - it makes absolute sense." you chuckled, staring off to the side. Yep, Charles' new fling was a Slovakian model - who by all means, looked beautiful. Blonde hair and blue eyes, you couldn't find it in yourself to hate her. How could anyone hate an angel?

"Oh come on, we have to catch up soon. You still haven't told me about the thing with Charles." Blake's eyes narrowed, she leaned on the door-frame - eyes trailing back and forth between you and her kids that were running around the backyard. "What is there left to say? Our relationship was amazing - it ended and we're going in separate ways." you simplified, leaning on the chair.

Blake took a deep breath, finally settling down in between Selena and Ryan. "I always thought that you'd end up together," she admitted - although she sooner realized that it wasn't the proper thing to say. "Charles, ending up with someone? He's not the guy that dreams about marriage. Maybe in another life, I'll want something less." you looked in the deep horizon.

"Maybe it was for the better that things ended - you obviously didn't agree on big things. You deserve to be happier." Ryan butted in the conversation, sensing that you were in deep thought. "I guess," you agreed with a hum.

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yournamelovely: quickie mart mwahaha

liked by nickdevries and 1,239,120 others

>comments

yournamelover: WHAT IS THIS HUMOR? HAHAHA

charlos92: please get back with charles

destinyshanggggee: I WOULDN'T MARRY ME EIGHTER

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olenna_markiz: Congratulations lovie! @Charles_Leclerc

liked by 81,203 others

>comments

hollyshit2: YOU LOOK SO GOOD TOGETHER

bolld6: the look of pure love omg

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charlesandy/nforever: real eyes realize that she was the one ...

liked by 712 others

>comments

derivativeofx: The way that he threw it all away 😭

leftovers8: WE NEED AN EXPLAINATION

yournameleclerc: huhuhuhu

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You thought that having the internet hate Charles' new girlfriend would make you feel better - but it honestly made you feel worst. The entire fucking world fucking hates her, thinks that she's better than you - but it wouldn't change the fact that he chose her. It wouldn't change the fact that you didn't blame her.

You would risk the world for Olenna Markiz too.

"There has been a flurry of hate in social media directed towards your past relationship and his new girlfriend. What do you have to say about that?" the interviewer cornered you. The grip on your hoodie tightened - you wanted to buy food, but the Paps found you. "This is about Charles and Olenna, right? I'll be blunt - our relationship did end on a sour note but it's not an excuse to be mean towards her."

"- at the end of the day, we're separately happy. Please stop making rumors about us or about her. Especially her - because umm she wasn't the reason for our breakup. Judging from the posts I see on social media, they're really in love. I wish nothing but the best for them." you smiled bitterly, walking away as your manager suddenly rushes to your side.

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ynandcharlesuniverse: 1 year ago, (Your Name) wrote 'Timeless' for Charles Leclerc. I believe that we were supposed to find this, cuz even in a different life you still would've been mine.

liked by 827 others

comments have been restricted.

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Charles_Leclerc: With the beautiful girl 💞

liked by yournamelovely and 1,283,930 others

>comments

romanempire3: beautiful pair omgg

carlandodestroyer: OLENNA MARKIZ IS LITERALLY MOMMY

obladioblada: does it ever drive you crazy, just how fast the night...

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yournamelovely: World Tour EP ... featuring three songs: lacy, nonsense and vicious.

liked by 3,283,012 others

>comments

nickdevries: LACY >>>

danielricciardo: LACY >>>

chickenpozes34: WE ARE FED

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"Hey!" you waved at the girl beside you.

It was a charity gala - benefiting the orphans of Europe. To your surprise, you were seated beside Olenna Markiz. The girl's shadow seemed to haunt you all the way to Texas. "Hi, it's nice to finally meet you. I'm such a big fan," she gives you a firm handshake.

There was cautiousness in her posture - like she was trying to determine if you were nice or bad. "Likewise, I love your work with Bottega and Mugler." you named, oblivious to the cameras that were pointed in your direction. "Really? Not a lot of people recognize me, to them we're just girls wearing clothes." she chuckled.

"It's hard to be a woman in this economy, but I assure you - there are lots of people who know how to appreciate art." you complimented. It was your dream to be a model - ever since you were little, you were always fascinated with supermodels. Alas, God didn't grant you with the suitable height required. "I just hope that I meet them soon enough," she whispered to herself, before returning her attention to the man on the stage.

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Olenna didn't know what to expect with her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. A lot of people in reddit spoke about her bluntness, that she was unapologetically human - often lashing out in her childhood star years. There weren't a lot of posts to go along. His ex valued her privacy, rarely even attended any interviews.

To her surprise, she was pleasant company. Often making jokes that she understood and found hilarious. It was easy falling in love with (Your Name) (Last Name), what Olenna couldn't understand was how Charles fell out of love. "It was nice hanging out with you, maybe we could grab some coffee in the future?" she offered, a foot inside her luxury car. "Sure, I'll give your agent my number." Lena agreed.

Happy to have made a friend.

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LET'S NOT PIT WOMEN AGAINST EACH OTHER

WILL FOREVER BE A GIRL'S GIRL

[hummingbee-lievable]

Song of the Day #24:

'Mile Magnificent' by Molly OfGeography (released 2019).

An apartment when it's empty echoes lovely, bright and clean

Sing odes to green-blue water that we stole so it comes free

All things end, it's part of living; forest fires feed the trees

Lift your glasses full of sunshine, sing a toast to gasoline

Track #4 on 'Myths'.

Fun fact: Molly refers to this song as 'The Song My Producer Said I Was Not Allowed To Name “CHICAGO IS BETTER THAN NEW YORK”'.* Honestly, her descriptions for some of the songs on this album are hilarious:

'1) The Song That Made My Producer Go, “Wait, What Was That Bit About Worms?”

2) The Song My Producer Said I Had To Append A Parenthetical To So That People Would Be Able To Find It Because The Lyrics Never Mention The Title Once But I Was Raised On Fanfiction So Joke’s On You, Pal! I Love A Long Title With A Parenthetical In It!!!

3) The Song That Is Sad'

Pretty dang accurate, honestly. Also, I think she has a Tumblr!!! *Gasp.* What if I...tag her???

@ofgeography Hiiii and thank you, your music is amazing.

I did it bees and knees (yes, this is my hip modern way of including every kind of person, fight me or provide more hilarious options; I'm content with either option).

I have had a fun time perusing this flavourful dose of humanity's wild website and I think my fun fact today should be her story where she becomes a donut god:

You're welcome, singular entity that reads this blog (that entity being my sister and/or the rogue bots, doesn't matter, we're all friends here).

Personal blurb: Alright, full disclosure time: I discovered this artist because of the 'Good Omens' fandom. Someone said we were missing out on feelings and shared this song, and when I tell you I felt those feelings, I certainly don't mean that I danced to this on repeat for several months (and her 'Hanahaki (Bloom)'), often at 3 in the morning in the bathroom. Of course not.

Pro tip: dancing with your toothbrush in your mouth is a choking hazard, but in the spirit of Alanis Morissette, I recommend doing it anyway:

One of my favourite books in the world is 'The Overstory' by Richard Powers. In it, one of the themes that arises often is the concept of pyrophitic serotinous plants (it's okay, I won't remember it either). They are plants that need fire to open. (There are actually different types of pyrophitic plants, from passive to fire-activated but I probably shouldn't start talking about that because you'll need to pull out the duct tape.)

(Technically, 'serotinous' plants are a category in which plants release seeds over a longer period of time, and it doesn't matter how they are released, but the seeds that open by fire fit into this category.) The eucalyptus tree, the lodgehole pine, and other pyrophitic serotinous trees encase their seeds in resin that can only be melted by fire (thereby releasing the seeds).

The thing that I love about this concept is this: we need to burn to grow. I recently read this book called 'Life in Oil' about the Cofàn tribe in Ecuador who were drastically impacted by oil companies. And the thing was: Yes. They were impacted horribly (physically, psychologically, environmentally, the works). They also survived. They figured out, through tumult and trial and falling apart, how to keep going. And for every hard moment and loss, there was laughter and love to accompany it. The book was wonderful in that it confronted the concept of trauma on a large group of people. We are never just our trauma, but the balance of everything else as well. I think that gets lost, sometimes. Makes us seem less human.

This song screams to me of that same instinct. I mean, look at us. This is what we do, isn't it? We fight, we fall, we continue. We're just like every other aspect of nature in that we are born, and in our fight to continue, we impact everything around us. We're just a part of the cycle and eventually we will decay back to where we belong and serve as soil for our children. And all we'll be? A story. And after a while, not even that. Just a whisper of what was.

In a way? I find that freeing. We might as well live the life we want to live; how little it will matter. (This isn't absolution, please don't go murdering people.) I just mean that I don't have to put so much weight into every little thing. Not everything has to be joyful or depressing (and if we really think about it, everything is always a balance of both). It can just be what it is.

We are as we are. And we don't have to love ourselves for it, but we don't have to hate ourselves either.

I love the lyrics to this song. For a long time, I misheard 'We're animals of love/ the city never makes us beg' as 'the city never makes us pay' and I don't know why? But I kind of like that image.

We are animals of love. And that's okay.

We are the cogs in a continuous cycle and we always will be.

I think often of this monologue (content warning for the video, it's gory, but you don't need to watch it, you can just listen) from 'Midnight Mass', in regards to this:

(It sort of lives in my brain on a regular basis now; hope it takes up good residence in your brain, too.)

We just are. Everything just is.

[child0feden]

NEVER FADE AWAY

pelle “ dead ” ohlin x musician! reader | øystein “ euronymous ” aarseth x musician! reader

♡ general dating headcanons for pelle and øystein with a musician partner!

୨୧ such a sweet anon, i hope you like this <3

♡ requested by anon | view my metal masterlists here and here

reading music recommendations: never fade away by pt adamczyk - i really want to stay at your house by rosa walton

PELLE “ DEAD ” OHLIN

♡ pelle really likes sharing lyrics with you!

୨୧ if you show him lyrics you’ve thought up, he might not be a man of many words but he gives the best and most genuine advice, always staying true to his options and thoughts

“ i like this one… the play on words, it’s good… ” ( if your songs tell really weird of fucked up stories through the lyrics, he’s so into it, give him the lore, all of it )

♡ as we all know, pelle wasn’t the most open to listening to many other genres outside of metal…

୨୧ but i think with you being his partner, he’d be much more open to it, just for you! he might not be the biggest fan if you make pop music or something along those lines but he won’t be as disregarding towards it as he usually is! he’ll try his absolute hardest to see the best in it

♡ but pelle would probably be obsessed if you made ambient music!

୨୧ he just thinks it’s such an intriguing genre and loves the different sounds you use in the music, he’s an especially big fan if you use sounds of the forest in your music

♡ however, no matter the genre of music you make, pelle will be making a patch of your stage name and putting it on his jacket alongside all his other patches!

୨୧ it’s his way of supporting you, he doesn’t think he’s not the best with words so he tries to show you love and support through other means

♡ he’d really like watching you get ready for a concert!

୨୧ he’ll watch you from the side, staying quiet as his blue eyes follow your movements around the room, studying your ritual! he likes how much thought you put into things before a concert, i think he’d relate to it quite a bit and like to help you with any preparations needed

♡ if you ever asked for his help on making a unique outfit for a concert, he’d be very awkward about it but he would offer to help make you one!

୨୧ if you agree to his help, he puts a lot of thought into it, trying to make the best he’s ever made for you, he’d be blushing so red and giving a tiny smile as you praise his work on it and tell him how much you love the outfit :(

♡ if you need some album artwork, he definitely wouldn’t mind drawing something for you!

୨୧ he’s actually kind of honoured that you want to use his art… it definitely makes him a little red in the cheeks which he quickly attempts to cover with his long blonde hair <3

ØYSTEIN “ EURONYMOUS ” AARSETH

♡ i mentioned once in a comment that øystein is the number one hater to every relationship that isn’t his own…

୨୧ and it’s true! because it would take so much convincing for him to sell someone else’s partners records in helvete, there’s only a 1% chance he will, especially if they’re not a black metal musician

♡ but his partner’s records? oh yeah, they go up on the shelf the second you guys start dating, no matter what genre of music you make!

୨୧ if anyone questions it or mocks him for being whipped, he’ll threaten them with a lifetime ban from his store and their jokes will quickly come to a halt as they release just how serious he is…

♡ øystein is another guy who absolutely will not miss one of your concerts!

୨୧ he’s the dude going around the place telling everyone who will listen that you’re his girlfriend, pointing over to you on stage as he says it as if they don’t get that already

“ that’s my girlfriend, y’know? so fucking talented, ain’t she? ” ( they better only respond with a yes otherwise he’d stink eye them and call them a not so nice name )

♡ øystein celebrates every new magazine feature or album release with you in helvete, throwing you a party with all of your friends and favourite drinks

୨୧ he’s just always so proud of you, keeping his arm thrown around you with a drink in his free hand and telling you how amazing you are, how proud of you he is

♡ similar to bård, if you ever wanted some guitar in your music and didn’t play yourself, he’d be all over that!

୨୧ he’d be so secretly over the moon about it, trying so hard to hide the huge smile that comes across his face as you bring up the idea to him

♡ øystein is definitely the type of guy to be smug as hell around your wannabe groupies!

୨୧ well, he’s smug at first but if they start seriously trying to make moves on you in front of him, he’ll get so pissed off and he will absolutely argue with them, no matter their gender

♡ if you don’t really have much merchandise, øystein would absolutely make cute little button pins for you and sell them in helvete!

୨୧ he has a couple of them on his leather jacket too, of course <3

[cowgurrrl]

Okayyy bear with me, this for our OFTM! What about a celeb who meets actress!reader at some awards or something or they’ve worked together and the pictures turn out so gorgeous and he uploads it with some cheesy lovey dovey caption and it kinda sets Joel off with jealousy and a bigggg green eyed monster. It doesn’t help that Tommy, Ellie, and Sarah start pulling his leg in their fam group chat saying oh wow look at mom with him or something and y’know tommy would pull his leg more to get a reaction out of Joel. And Joel is just alternating between fighting for his life in the chat and fighting for his wife with actress!reader and just comedy and fluffiness????

(also I have one more inspo that I dreamt of sending you in the next one)

OOOOOHHHH LOVE THIS I haven’t played around with jealous joel in SUCH A LONG TIME also I know you weren’t necessary referring them but I immediately thought of Jessica Chastain and Oscar Isaac because I MEAN

ANYWAYS HERE WE GO

Wildflower & Barley

Pairing: rockstar!joel miller x actress!reader

Summary: this ask

Warnings: ✨multi-media✨, jealousy, life stuff, literally just them being the sweetest couple

You sigh as you read the text. Joel is normally very comfortable in your relationship, unshaken by the various actors and actresses who’ve played your love interests and partners on screen. He shrugs off silly press comments, sits through love scenes remarkably well, and even goes as far as congratulating your costar on a job well done. “Not that it’s hard to pretend to be in love with her,” he said when asked about it in a red carpet interview a few years ago. But, once in a blue moon, he gets jealous and a little insecure. You figure Spencer’s post didn’t help with the little green monster sitting on his shoulder the past few months. 

With all your littles in school now, you’re extremely busy. You’re constantly running around from baseball practices, PTA meetings, recitals, doctor’s appointments, birthday parties, and more. Not to mention making time for all the Miller-Hernandez-Caradonna-Pierce grandkids, Isaac, Cecilia, and JJ. Joel’s working on a new album and getting his record label up and running while you’re not only directing and co-producing a smaller film while acting in a different one and getting ready to go on a (limited) press tour. You and Joel haven’t had the most time to catch up, and it feels like you’re passing ships. It’s temporary. You know it is, but it doesn’t feel good to see your costars more than you get to see your husband. You’re almost positive Joel’s jealousy stems from that. 

“Hey, you ready to get back to it?” Your co-producer, Ava, asks, jolting you out of your thoughts, and you nod. 

“Let’s do it.” You say as you tuck your phone into your back pocket. The day goes relatively smoothly with only one broken prop and an impromptu refresher session with one of your actors and the armorer. You make it a point to end the day early so you can get home and talk to Joel before one of you can fall asleep on the couch (a bad habit you’ve both developed recently), and thank god you did. 

The second you open the door, you can smell the delicious dinner Joel is making in the kitchen and hear the music he’s blasting through the Alexa. “Mom!” Sammy yells as he and the girls run over in a flurry of overlapping stories and demands for hugs and kisses. Even though Sam is nine now and on the cusp of thinking he’s too cool for his parents, he’s still your little love bug. 

“Mommy, will you come draw with me?” Violet asks and you smile as you tuck a curl behind her ear.

“Of course, baby. Can I go say hi to Daddy first?” 

“Fine but hurry!” Violet whines, making you laugh. You hang up your purse by the front door and toe off your shoes, already feeling better with your heels off, and pad into the kitchen. Joel is wearing the apron you got him for Christmas last year that says “Caution: Hot Dad” and made the older girls groan in embarrassment. You laugh when you see it on him, and he quickly turns down the Bee Gees to hear you. 

“You’re home early.” He says as he leans down to peck your lips and wrap an arm around your waist. You chase his lips and kiss him again before pulling away to look at him.

“Wanted to catch you before bedtime,” you say, and he hums. “Plus, we’re making good time on production. We can afford to cut a little early.”

“Well, I‘m glad you did.” He says. You can hear the kids in the other room playing loudly and you know Violet is gonna burst in any moment and order you to draw with her so you savor the semi-private moment with him.

“Are we okay?” You ask quietly and he takes a deep breath. 

“We’re okay.” 

“It’s okay if we’re not.” 

“Baby,” he soothes, slipping a hand in your back pocket. “We’re okay, I promise. I just… had a moment.” 

“It’s fine to have a moment. I don’t want you to keep that from me just because we’re busy,” you say. “You don’t actually think I’d trade you in for someone else or whatever the fuck Tommy said, right?” He sighs and you raise your eyebrows at him.

“Just… please tell me this isn’t like a Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing.” He says. You would laugh if he didn’t seem as upset as he does just because of how bizarre the idea is. How could anyone ever compare to him? How could he even think that you’d leave him like that?

“This isn’t a Mr. and Mrs. Smith thing. Not even close to it. Spencer has been married to his wife longer than we’ve been married and they’re solid. I promise, he just posted that to get people excited about the movie.”

“You’re not wearing your ring in the picture.” He says. You pull the chain hiding under your collar out and show him.

“I was. You just couldn’t see it.” 

“How long have you had that?” 

“Since we got engaged. You’ve definitely seen it before.” You say, laughing a little at the surprised look on his face. 

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that’s why you wore it. I thought you got it as a wrap gift or somethin’.” He defends. It makes sense why he wouldn’t know. You only take the necklace off when it can’t be hidden under the costume, and even then, it’s normally tucked into your pocket or, at the very least, hidden safely in your trailer. It’s a part of your routine to put your ring back on at the end of a shooting day or between breaks to help you transition back into your real life, which means Joel only sees it after it’s returned to its rightful spot. Even the few times he’s been on set filming something with you, you’ve been so busy that he didn’t have time to notice it. 

“Good to know I can still surprise you all these years later,” you say. He only looks a little embarrassed when he reaches around you to turn off the stove. The kids are, thankfully, still occupied, and you take the opportunity before it can slip away. “Joel, I adore you. I am still as helplessly in love with you as I was when we were in New York for the first time. There isn’t anybody else for me, okay? It’s you. It’s always gonna be you. So you don’t need to worry about costars or living Brangelina or whatever because you are it for me.” He works at his jaw as he processes your words, and you wait. Joel’s mind has always been an elusive one, so you like watching his gears turn. 

“Okay,” he mumbles finally. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. You just have to tell me when you’re feeling this way,” you say, kissing his jaw. “Besides, if you’d said something earlier, I would’ve been able to tell you that you’re a much better kisser than Spencer.”

“I was just gettin’ over the post, and now I have to watch y’all kiss?!” He groans dramatically, and you laugh. 

“You’re the one who married an actor.” 

“And I’d do it again.” He says as he kisses you, crowding your space so you’re stuck between him and the counter. It’s broken between giggles and kitchen timers beeping but it isn’t until Violet tugs at your shirt do you fully break away from Joel.

“Mommy, you said you would come draw with me.” She pouts, and you immediately drop down to her level.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I did say that. Daddy just had a hard day so I was trying to cheer him up. I can come draw with you now.” You explain, and she gasps, looking between you and Joel.

“Daddy!” She exclaims, putting her hands on her hips. “Why didn’t you tell me you were having a bad day?” 

“Because it’s not your job to fix Daddy’s day.” 

“But I want to! Can I give you a kiss?”

“I wanna give Daddy a kiss!” Sophia runs in, launching herself into Joel’s arms. He scoops both girls up and kiss his cheeks simultaneously, making you both laugh. 

“Thank you, girls. You always make me feel better.” He says, and they giggle.

“What about Mom?” Sam asks. He’s too big and too tall for you to pick him up anymore, but he snuggles perfectly under your arm and squeezes you tight. 

“You’re so sweet, honey. Thank you.” You say, kissing his head. 

“Are you better now?”

“So much better.” 

“Daddy, are you better?” Violet asks. Joel meets your eyes over the heads of the kids and smiles. It’s sweet and just for you, and you can’t help but smile back. 

“I’m perfect.”

[aliaology]

NOW THAT WE DONT TALK

summary: yn finally drops her album n everyone is going crazy! pt.4

series masterlist

ynusername

liked by marner_93, austonmatthews and 282,286 others

ynusername just got lovestruck, and it totally went straight to my head, especially with the way you guys have loved ‘now that we dont talk’ and ‘is it over now?’ and i can finally say my album is officially fully out now, maybe a deluxe coming later! special shoutout to gracie abrams and sabrina carpenter, my best friends, and my brother mitch, who all gave me support that i needed to continue on. love u to the moon and to saturn 🪐

comments

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jackhughes

liked by trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, and 163,736 others

jackhughes ⚡️

comments

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tags: @honethatty12 , @slaythehousebootsdown13 , @lovinbarzal , @outrunangelss , @absolutelyhugh3s if u want tags, lmk <3

[blossomwritesthings]

𝐝𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐝? 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞. | 𝐝𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬

part one of do you feel my hand? it is there. | part two | part three | part four | part five | part six | part seven | part eight | part nine | part ten | part eleven | part twelve

pairing: minho x fem!reader (afab)

genre: veterinarian!minho (this includes a few of the skz members working in his clinic). client!reader. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. strangers to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining.

content & warnings: explicit & strong language. very thematic elements. minho is reader's vet. reader's childhood cat suddenly gets diagnosed with cancer, and she has to make a big decision about what to do. this fanfic includes heavy topics like: pet euthanasia, extreme loss/grief, depression, the problems with pet healthcare, and more. there will be some humor/fluff placed throughout, and also smut somewhere along the way. :))

word count: 7.1k

summary: dr. lee minho is known throughout your area as the city's hottest veterinarian, and he's also the very man that's been taking good care of your two cats for the past three years. but one day, you're thrown down a dark path of heartache when the cat that you've grown up with - nyx - is diagnosed with an acute form of bone cancer. burdened with the hardest decision of your entire life, you come at a crossroads of what to do. and throughout it all, minho is the single most person who continually stays by your side.

a/n: i decided to split this fic up into like, 3-4 separate chapters, since i felt like having 20.k+ words for a single 'long oneshot' was kindaa excessive lmao 😂 anyways, i'm excited for the future of this little series and what it's gonna look like exploring the relationship between minho and y/n~ 😉 also, for anyone that noticed, YES- i changed my entire tumblr theme after like, 4 months of having it be rainbow haha, so you might not recognize me on your dash with my new look. but yeah, this is the 'new me' for the next few months... i was feeling super inspired to do a muted levanter theme, since it's one of my fav albums/songs from skz haha so here we are!! ☺️

🐈‍⬛ - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ other cool stuff ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌! ࿐ྂ

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. . . ⇢ ˗ˏˋ skz fic recs [sfw ver]! ࿐ྂ

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The clinic was incredibly busy as you stepped through the front doors. Looking around the medium-sized waiting room, you noticed how almost every single seat was taken up by a patient. Because apparently, the hot place to be on a Thursday morning was Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic. 

 You clutched on a little tighter to the carrier at your side, which held your cat Nyx just inside the bassinet. She was an American Shorthair, with a coat as black as midnight and big, ocean-blue eyes. Your parents had gifted you Nyx as a surprise for your sixth birthday, since you had been begging them for a cat all year long. And instantly, the two of you were inseparable. Nyx had been with you for almost every stage of your life - including grade/middle school, high school, and all of university. She was so incredibly affectionate towards everyone, but especially you. She loved curling up alongside you after you’d spent a long, hard day at work and would just cuddle into your skin for hours. 

 Nyx was your stability in everything - she was one of your only friends, even when you were surrounded by other adults your same age at work. And at the ripe age of twenty-four, you couldn’t imagine what your life would be like if she ever left your side.

 But, you weren’t naive, or stupid. 

 And you knew that at some point, Nyx would have to move on from your world and onto a better, and brighter future. 

 Which is why you decided to adopt a female Bengal cat after you graduated from university. Taffy had a brilliant orange-and-brown coat with light green eyes. And because she was so much younger than Nyx, she had a lot more energy. But even still, the two cats got along quite well, despite their huge age gap. Taffy was the troublemaker out of the two and liked to get into mischief with all kinds of things. 

 You took great pride in both of them and the relationship that you had with your two kitties, which is why you regularly took them to the local veterinarian clinic for routine checkups. Usually, you visited every six months, just to make sure that Taffy and Nyx were in perfect health.

 And it’s not like you were complaining about the visits to Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic. It was a beautiful and spacious place, with a friendly bunch of staff and an even better doctor. 

 Doctor Lee Minho had been the continual talk of the town since he had moved into the area three years before, and soon after he set up his practice - which was just a short walk from your quaint apartment - you started going to him for your cat’s regular check-ups. Dr. Lee was incredibly professional with all of his clients, and he had a true knack for animals… but especially, cats. That’s what he prided himself on - knowing the ins and outs of the feisty little beings... since he had three of his own. Some even said that he was a cat himself since he had similar mannerisms to the felines. 

 It also helped that he was insanely handsome. 

 Like, drop-dead gorgeous. 

 You weren’t a fool - you noticed how, every time you visited the clinic, most of the clients were women. And almost every time that you sat in the waiting room, you’d overhear women talking amongst themselves… about how they had dressed up for the occasion, and how Dr. Lee was way too cute for his good. 

 For the most part, all of the comments passed over your head. 

 After all, he was just a veterinarian. He wasn’t anything special… 

 He just took amazing care of the animals that visited his clinic. 

 And he seemed to adore your two cats. 

 And- 

 Perhaps he was kind of, sort of, attractive. 

 If a woman liked the silent, brooding, brown-haired types of guys- then yeah, he was fucking really hot. 

 But, you always tried to push those thoughts out of your mind each time they started to bubble up to the forefront of your mind. You didn’t want to ruin the professional doctor-client relationship that the two of you had been cultivating for over three years. He was an amazing veterinarian with a lot of skill and expertise, and you had a feeling that you taking advantage of your closeness with him, by forcing yourself onto him, would just turn him away. 

 After all, he was always professional and polite with you. Even if he seemed to give you a lot of smiles and laughs each time you had an appointment at the clinic. And even if he seemed overly affectionate with Nyx and Taffy. He was just doing his job, as that’s what was to be expected from a doctor like him. 

 And besides, a guy like him would never go for you. For starters, you had just recently found out that he was five years older than you, landing him at the mature age of twenty-nine. And older guys of that many years never went for you - never stooped that low. Plus, he was a successful doctor and a businessman with his clinic. Whereas you were a struggling woman who was fighting to make ends meet at her low-ranking corporate job. You sat in a small cubicle all day, typing away at a bright computer screen, and Dr. Lee sat in front of patients and animals, actually making a difference in others’ lives. 

 There was also the fact that you were borderline poor- since your job barely paid anything compared to the way that the economy was so expensive. You struggled to pay your bills monthly and lived from paycheck to paycheck. Meanwhile, Dr. Lee rolled up to the clinic in his dark-blue sports car and was always donned in all different kinds of designer dress shirts and slacks. 

 So, yeah, he’d never fall for you. Not in a million years. 

 “Y/N! Good to see you again!” You heard a bright voice call out to you, bringing you out of your daydreams of expensive cars and fancy clothes. 

 Your eyes flitted up to the person sitting behind the front check-in desk of the clinic. Chan, one of the two receptionists of the place, was looking up at you with a soft smile adorning his face. 

 “Oh- hi, Chan… I’m here for Nyx’s check-up.” You mimicked his smile, motioning with a tilt of your head to the carrier where Nyx was situated in. 

 You were on a first-name basis with the entire staff line of the clinic, as you had been visiting it for so many years. Everyone at the clinic was extremely nice, and all of the staff were Dr. Lee’s friends. Soon after you first visited the clinic, he told you about the story of how he had recruited some of his best friends to open the shop with him, and how the rest was history. Even still, you called everyone by their first name except for Dr. Lee - since you decided to keep it professional with him and always address him by his official title well into the beginning of your appointments at the clinic. 

 “Sure thing,” Chan began, tearing his gaze away from you and typing away at his computer. “I see here that Jisung jotted down your concerns for this visit’s file. Has anything changed since you called in a month ago?” 

 You moved your focus onto the carrier at your side, where you saw Nyx resting peacefully just inside it. She had long since gotten used to the clinic and was normally very calm whenever you visited the place. “Yeah, she’s been sleepier than usual, and like- she doesn’t want to eat the food that I’ve been giving her, even though I’ve changed the brand two times already.” 

 Chan’s eyes darted up to you, studying your face silently before they flitted over to the carrier that you had placed atop the counter at your side. “Okay, I’ll add all of that to the notes so that the doctor can take a look,” you noticed how his lips were pressed together in a grim line- like he didn’t like what you had just told him. “You can take a seat, and Yongbok will call you back when they’re ready for you guys.” 

 “Thanks, Chan,” you said, offering him a tiny, weak smile before you headed off to find one of the only available seats left in the waiting room. As soon as you got situated, you gingerly took Nyx out of her crate. She was warm and downy in your hands and purred quietly at the feel of you pressing her furry body against your chest. “It’s gonna be okay, girl, you’ll be alright…” You whispered to her, mouth nuzzling into her silky coat as you placed a gentle kiss against her head. 

 After you placed Nyx back in her crate, you spent the waiting time studying the people around you. Once again, it was mainly women’s faces that your eyes met as you scanned over the entire room. And there were all different types of pets everywhere, from dogs to cats to birds. 

 “Oh, and apparently, Jungmi’s friend saw him out on the streets late at night last week… like, all alone and stuff.” You heard the woman say beside you. She was sitting close to another woman, and their heads were bent at an angle as they gossiped together. “Some girl came out of this one cafe and was hanging all over him, but it didn't seem like he knew her that well.” 

 The other woman snorted lowly, “Well that bitch doesn’t matter, because I’m going to be sure to seduce him this time around. I mean, c’mon- who can resist this shirt?” At her insinuation, you realized that they were talking about Dr. Lee. 

 Even still, you felt the urge to peek over to your side and look at her attire, and when you did, you swallowed down the dryness in your throat. Because holy fuck- she looked like she was about to go to the club. Her shirt had a scoop neckline and was so low, more than half of her tits were hanging out of the loose fabric. It was tight and stretched over her bosom in an alluring kind of way, leaving little to the imagination. 

 Meanwhile, you were dressed in one of your old, baggy hoodies and a pair of loose-fitting denim jeans. Even though it was the beginning of spring, it was still quite chilly out early in the morning. And besides, you weren’t planning on going anywhere else after you visited the clinic, since you had taken the rest of the day off from work, so there was no use in dressing up. Not like you had any nice, sexy clothes like that to begin with, though. 

 In all actuality, you really couldn’t afford to take a day off of work. But, you felt like it was needed after the long week that you had had. After the long year you had had. 

 Suddenly feeling self-conscious while you sat next to Aphrodite herself, your fingers scrambled to yank down the arms of your hoodie as best as you could, trying to let the fabric swallow you up in your seat. 

 Just then, your name was called over the hustle and bustle of the waiting room, and you peered up to see a smiling Yongbok standing in the doorway that lead to the rest of the clinic - where the examining rooms were. 

 In a hurry, you scrambled to pick up your tote bag and hoisted Nyx in her carrier with one arm, following right behind the young vet tech as he lead you through the back rooms of the clinic. The hallway was buzzing with movement, as the other Tech’s, Seungmin and Hyunjin, helped vet assistant Changbin calm down a barking German Shepherd so that they could usher him onto a weighing station that was positioned in a corner of the hallway. Dr. Lee was nowhere to be found… yet. 

 “I haven’t seen you in a while,” Yongbok started, as he motioned to an examining room just off to the right side for you to walk in. You took a seat in the chair that was positioned next to the desk - where the doctor always sat. “Since Hyunjin is almost always the one who first greets you.” The younger man with light blonde hair and big, expressive eyes sighed in an exaggerated kind of way, which forced a quiet giggle out of you. 

 “He’s a good tech though… Taffy especially likes him, I think.” You started, your mind already trailing off to what your younger cat might be doing while being left home alone in your apartment. No doubt tearing into the bag of chips that you had accidentally left atop the kitchen counter. 

 “Mhm- how is she, by the way? I feel like you haven’t brought her in in a while,” Yongbok said, as he slipped on a pair of blue latex gloves. You dragged your eyes away from his form and instead concentrated on unzipping the carrier in your arms, slowly drawing out a lethargic Nyx. 

 “Taffy is good, just being her usual rambunctious self,” you laughed softly, shaking your head as the affection for your other cat took over your thoughts. “She’s definitely very different from my Nyx here, that’s for sure…” 

 Yongok wheeled his chair over to you then, gently taking your old cat from your hands and hoisting her up onto the examination table that was nearby. “I saw in the files that she’s been having problems with eating?” He started, voice growing serious as he began his study of your cat. 

 You nodded slowly, swallowing over the nervous lump that had begun to form in your throat as soon as he placed Nyx on the paper-lined table. You felt your heart beating wildly against your ribcage, and you watched in silence as Yongbok turned Nyx around to thoroughly examine her. “Yeah, and she hasn’t been wanting to play with Taffy either, even though she used to love to.” 

 “How long has this been going on?” 

 “About… four months now?” 

 Yongbok turned to you then, leveling you with a deep frown, “And you’re only bringing her in now?” His tone wasn’t accusatory, but was more on the perplexed side of things, as all of the staff at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic knew how much you loved your cats and how you adored taking care of them. 

 You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, hating the way that he seemed to question why you hadn’t taken care of Nyx’s symptoms earlier. “I-I didn’t have the money for this appointment until just recently, so that’s why I'm only bringing her in now.” 

 Your gaze snagged on Yongbok’s face, and the way that it instantly melted at your confession... brows furrowing and mouth pressing into a velvety line. The entire clinic must’ve known about your financial situation by now - about how you could barely afford food for yourself, let alone the bills from the clinic - since more oftentimes than not, you’d ask for a grace period from paying for the visits. 

 “I’m sorry, Y/N. I wasn’t trying to insinuate that you’re in the wrong here,” he began, but his slight frown only seemed to deepen as he spoke the words, “It’s just that- these symptoms shouldn’t be ignored for that long.” 

 At that, your heart started beating frantically inside your chest. Your focus landed on Nyx, who was now resting atop the table, with her eyes closed peacefully. “W-What? What do you mean by that? Is something wrong-”

 Yongbok reached over then, giving your shoulder a delicate pat. “I can’t confirm anything myself, but I’m going to take Nyx back to the X-Ray rooms to examine her better. Then, I’ll give the data to Dr. Lee and he can examine the diagnosis.” He gingerly scooped up Nyx into his arms, pressing her against his chest. 

 “O-Okay, but-” You began, but were soon cut off by the way that Yongbok gave you a slight, reassuring smile. 

 “Don’t worry about it, Y/N. I’m sure Nyx is just fine.” Is the last thing he said, before he was quickly filing out of the room with your cat in his hold, leaving you all alone. 

 And as soon as he shut the door closed, you were a nervous wreck. Your knees bounced up and down, hands turning clammy and breath falling out in shaky gasps as your mind raced a mile a minute with countless thoughts. 

 Would Nyx be okay? 

 Was she sick? 

 What was so wrong with her? 

 The wait time to see the doctor usually wasn’t that long, but this time - this time, it felt different. 

 It felt like each minute stretched out before you in an endless cycle, sending you down a deep and deeper spiral of anguish as you tried to wrack your brain around the entire situation.

 When finally, there was a gentle knock on the door. 

 You had been holding your head in either of your hands, but upon hearing footsteps against the linoleum floors, you peered up to see Dr. Lee closing the door behind him. He was dressed in his usual garb - dress slacks, a simple white button-down, and his white doctor's coat. 

 Dr. Lee was silent, as he wheeled his chair over to you. And only then did you notice that Nyx was missing. That he wasn’t carrying her in his arms- like he usually did when he brought her back from the closed examination room. 

 And you knew the moment that he sat down, that something was wrong. 

 Because usually, when his eyes caught yours as he walked through the examining room’s door, his entire face would light up with one of those brilliant smiles that women gushed over. Usually, he’d be the first one to crack a stupid joke - whether it was something lame about the weather outside, or about the crazy animal that he just had an encounter with before seeing you. 

 But this time? 

 No, this time it was very different. 

 His proud shoulders were slumped low, cheekbones dark with shadows, and plump, red lips pressed together in a firm line. 

 He clenched and unclenched his jaw once, 

 twice, 

 three times.

 Then, and only then, did his eyes meet yours. 

 And they said all you needed to know. 

 Just by the way that his dark, chestnut-brown pupils danced with a myriad of emotions; apprehension, fear, compassion, but most of all… sadness. 

 “What is it?” 

 The words flowed from your lips before you even knew what you were asking, and almost immediately, you were sitting up a little straighter in your chair. 

 Spine going rigid, fists growing tight at your sides. 

 Something swam, cool and deep, inside of you.

 Chilling you to the bone, with tense unease.  

 In the depths of your mind, you felt the pinprick of ominous heartache prodding at the fleshy part of your soul. 

 The part that was weak and emotional and so very tender all of the time. 

 “I’m so sorry.” 

 Was the first thing Dr. Lee said. 

 You already felt the tears flowing, unbidden and unchecked, warming your suddenly freezing cheeks, at the sound of ‘sorry’ leaving his mouth. Because he had never said such a thing to you before. And you never, ever, wanted to hear it come from him again. 

 “What’s wrong?” You prodded again, limbs growing a little shaky in your anxiety. Breath hitching in your chest agonizingly, you could physically feel your heart pushing against your ribs. 

 Aching, 

 Burning, 

 Already seeping with hurt, even though you didn’t quite know what was wrong just yet. 

 Dr. Lee ran a rough hand up and down his face, sighing into his palm, shaking his head once. Then, his fingers were running through his black locks, tugging at the roots just a tiny bit. 

 Almost like, this crushed him just as much as it was about to pain you. 

 “It’s about Nyx.” 

 Swallowing over the huge lump forming in your throat proved very difficult at that moment, but somehow - by some miracle - you did it. 

 Your tongue felt heavy inside of your mouth- like it was made of hard metal. 

 For a few beats, you couldn’t manage to form the right words, but when you did, you already felt the stability seeping out of you. Like you were a hot air balloon that had been poked with a sharp needle, with the scalding air and sanity flooding from you in a single breath. 

 “I’m sorry, Miss. Y/N, I-”

 “Just fucking say it, Dr. Lee!” You suddenly exclaimed, voice straining from your quiet sobs. The fat tears rolled down either of your cheeks, leaving angry wet trails in their wake. 

 He was silent after that, gaze running up and down the length of you slowly. Like you were one of his animals that he assessed daily - like he was testing out your strength and resolve. 

 Then, his eyes snapped back up to meet yours, and they melted into two puddles of grief. 

 “It seems as though Nyx is suffering from an acute form of bone cancer.” 

 And just like, your heart completely stopped. 

 Each breath you took felt garbled and all wrong. 

 Your shaky legs and arms wobbled all around you.  

 The floor crumbled underneath your feet, 

 Breaking, cracking, shattering irrevocably. 

 And in that moment, you wished for nothing more but for it to open up completely, and swallow you whole. 

 Please, 

 Oh, fuck, please- 

 Just swallow me already. 

 Because anything, 

Anything, 

 Would be better than this newfound hell. 

 “No- no, you’re lying.” You said in a low, gravelly voice. You were clutching onto the arms of your chair, holding on for dear life. Like if you squeezed hard enough, you would be able to wake up and all of this would just fade away into a bad dream. 

 “Miss. Y/N, I’m so sorry but-” Dr. Lee started in a calm tone, but his face read everything but calm - as his brows wrinkled with concern and his brown eyes were alight with a certain kind of sadness. 

 “This is a bad dream, it has to be a bad dream,” you cut him off, violently shaking your head from side to side in your disbelief. If you just pinched yourself, maybe then you’d wake up from such a hell. So that’s exactly what you did. 

 Grabbing one of your arms, you frantically pinched at the skin there. 

 Again, 

 And again, 

 And again. 

 The tears blurred your vision so much that it was hard to see what was in front of you - hard to notice the angry red mark that started to bloom out across your flesh at your abuse. 

 Just then, two warm hands took hold of either of yours, fingers sliding between fingers, calloused palms squeezing your own.

 The dark-haired figure was kneeling in front of you then, still holding onto your hands. Your heart felt like it was breaking over and over just beneath your ribcage. With each breath that you took, a new piece of it shattered off to swim in the blood flowing through your veins. 

 “Those symptoms that Nyx has been having are all signs of an acute form of bone cancer, Miss. Y/N. And, they will get worse,” the man said, his low, familiar voice running across your ears and nudging at a tender, warm spot deep inside of you. 

 “B-But she’ll get better, right? You can heal her, right, doctor?” You asked, throat straining from all of the tears. Through your hazy vision, you clutched a little harder at his hands. 

 There was a pause of silence on his end after that, which only made you feel worse. 

 When he finally spoke again, it felt like your world merely crumbled further and further. “Yongbok told me about your… situation, and why you didn’t bring her in earlier. But, because of the wait time, the cancer has developed into an acute case. The only options for helping her at this stage are- amputation and chemotherapy.” 

 It felt like someone took a bucket of ice-cold water and doused your entire form as soon as his words registered in your mind. 

 Because if you hadn’t waited so long to get it checked out, 

 If you hadn’t put it off because you didn’t have the money, 

 If you didn’t have such a low-paying, shitty job,

 Then Nyx never would’ve gotten the cancer in the first place. 

 Instinctually, you ripped your hands out of Dr. Lee’s grasp. It was the first time you had ever had physical contact with him - and the feeling left you feeling both sick to your stomach and also sent anxious butterflies to erupt throughout your system. 

 “Oh fuck- it’s my fault,” you said in an incredulous tone, fingers digging into your scalp and tearing at your roots there. “If I hadn’t waited so long, she never would’ve gotten this and she wouldn’t be-”

 You felt a heavy hand land atop one of your shoulders, nimble fingers pressing into your skin just slightly. Enough to help ground you back to reality. “I know it’s difficult right now, but I promise it’s going to be okay. You just have to take a few deep breaths and-”

 “Where is she?” You asked in a low voice, having the sudden urge to hold your baby in your arms. Maybe, if she just felt you, she’d be healed… “Where is my Nyx, Dr. Lee?” 

 But you didn’t even wait for him to reply, as you tore away from his hold and hurried to the door, grabbing Nyx’s carrier on the way out. Faintly, you registered Dr. Lee calling out to you from behind, but you paid no mind to it and instead ran through the hallway just outside of the examination room.

 “Nyx!” You called out, tone turning desperate. You raced down the hallway, sneakers hitting the concrete at your feet. “Nyx!” The tears clouded your vision, so it was hard to see where you going. But even still, you glimpsed Hyunjin coming out from a room in the back of the clinic, with a black mass of fur laying in his arms. 

 You cried out in relief at the sight of her, and in an instant, you were running forward and scooping her up and into your grasp. Pressing your face into her warm body, you cuddled her close. 

 “Y/N-” Hyunjin began, sympathy heavy in his tone. You felt his eyes travel across your face as you looked down at your sickly cat, with fat tears falling down your cheeks and a rapidly-beating heart. 

 “Let’s go home, my sweet girl…” You whispered so that only Nyx could hear you. And you couldn’t help but notice how light she felt in your arms - she hadn’t had much of an appetite in the last few months, and it pained you so much to know that you hadn’t realized it until it was too late. 

 Then you were turning away from Hyunjin, not even giving him any attention, as you rushed through the hallway and pressed onwards to the front desk area. Faintly, you could hear people calling out your name from somewhere in the back of the clinic. 

 But you couldn’t concentrate on any of that. All you could think of was your beautiful cat, who was peacefully sleeping in your arms. “Just a little bit longer, Nyx, we’re almost home…” 

 The rest of the week passed by in a blur of heartache and tears, as you battled with yourself and your mind to try and come to terms with what was happening. 

 With what you were going to lose. 

 It was hard to focus on anything else besides the impending doom that seemed to be right on your doorstep. You were slacking off at your work, which caused your boss to ream you out the next Monday morning. But you couldn’t help it - every time you tried to think about anything else besides Nyx, and losing her, the stormy feelings just came back tenfold. 

 You had found yourself holed up in your office’s bathroom stalls on more than one occasion already, and by the time it hit a week since you had visited the clinic, it felt like all of the tears had been completely drained from your body. 

 Every time you looked at her, you wanted to cry. You wanted to, but your body just wouldn't let you. So instead, you took to staying up late into the night and researching remedies to alleviate the pain of cancer - because truly, you hadn’t gotten a solid five hours of sleep since the diagnosis. 

 After two weeks, you had tried all of the solutions that you could find online - that ranged from implementing natural, whole foods into Nyx’s diet to rubbing lavender oil all over her limbs to try and soothe the pain from standing. Seeing her slowly start to deteriorate in front of your very eyes was possibly the worst part about it all - and how she’d whine and cry while walking around the house. Even Taffy could sense that something was wrong when her friend no longer had the energy to play with her anymore. 

 Throughout all of it, you avoided the phone calls. And they could be from only one ID - since you didn’t have any friends or family members who cared enough about you to call three times a day. Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic called you without fail, and they were adamant about getting in contact. No doubt Chan was on the other line the whole time, trying to talk some sense into you. 

 But you just couldn’t do it - couldn’t bring yourself to walk through those doors and face the dark road ahead that most-assuredly lead to death. Because you had already extensively researched the therapy for treating Nyx’s kind of cancer, and it was looking quite bleak. The procedures were so fucking expensive, it baffled you how anyone in their right mind could be able to afford such things. 

 Everything changed though, when on one Saturday night, you arrived home late from running errands and found Nyx sprawled out on your living room’s small, rickety couch. You scurried over to her side and shook her awake. But she wouldn’t open her eyes. And it seemed like she was hardly breathing. You called out to her again and again, startling Taffy of your presence. 

 When finally, Nyx awoke. After much pleading and crying, she opened her eyes lazily and stretched. 

 And so it was decided right then and there, that you’d go into the clinic that night. 

 You couldn’t afford to put it off any longer, and frankly, you had the feeling that Nyx couldn’t either. It was getting close to eight o’clock in the evening, and the clinic closed its doors for the weekend right at eight, so you made quick haste out of your dingy hell-hole-of-an-apartment. 

 When you arrived at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic, the entire place was dark. You peeked through the windows and noticed the empty waiting room. “No, no- no…” You muttered to yourself, checking the time on your phone and reading that it was a little past eight. 

 You quickly looked around the street, noticing how most of the shops were already closed up for the weekend. Feeling the panic rising inside of you, you began to furiously knock on the glass door of the clinic. If someone was back there, maybe you could get ahold of Dr. Lee and- 

 “Miss. Y/N?” You heard a friendly, faint voice say from somewhere to your side. Turning around to the sound of it, you came face-to-face with Dr. Lee himself. He had his doctor’s coat off and was dressed in his usual work clothes of slacks and a dress shirt. “What are you-”

 You pressed your hands against your chest, trying to calm your heart that was painfully beating against your ribcage. “Dr. Lee- please, it’s… it’s Nyx.” 

 His brown eyes flashed across the length of your form, the fading sunset coloring his skin in an orange and pink kind of glow. “Come inside, it’s too cold out to be standing around like this.” He said, already moving to unlock the front door of the clinic. After all, it was early spring and the nights tended to grow on the cooler side of things once the sun dipped below the horizon.

 “Okay, thanks,” you whispered, following behind him as the two of you shifted through the clinic. Dr. Lee made his way over to a cluster of chairs in the corner of the waiting room.  

 “Please, sit.” He pointed to the nearest chair and waited for you to get situated before taking the seat just beside you. “So, tell me what’s going on.” 

 And suddenly, you realized the gravity of the situation. You realized that it was just the two of you - Dr. Lee and you - sitting inside the clinic, alone. There weren’t any other clients around, there wasn’t Chan or Jeongin, or Yongbok. And all at once, it felt rather… intimate. 

 You squirmed in your seat, your shaking hands beginning to play with the worn hemline of your oversized hoodie. Taking a deep breath, you gathered up all of your courage and leveled your gaze on the nearby front desk that was placed in the center of the large waiting room. “Well, I-I got home today from running some errands, and I found Nyx lying on my couch. But it didn’t seem like she was napping like she normally does… and she, she wouldn’t wake up. I kept trying and trying and-” Your words came out all rushed and garbled, as the tears began to crest over your eyes and you felt your cheeks heating with the flush of emotion. 

 “Hey- hey, it’s okay… don’t push yourself, yeah?” Dr. Lee’s smooth voice did something to the broken part inside of you - caused something to stir and yet settle at the same time. “That must’ve been a very scary experience for you, so it’s understandable that you would be shaken up about it.” 

 And just like that, the guilt piled on even higher. 

 Because Dr. Lee had always been incredibly nice to you and your cats. He had always been there for you guys, through the ups and downs of life, and you felt so horrible for ignoring the clinic’s calls. Because you knew that the team at Starry Skies Veterinary Clinic only wanted the very best for you and your cats… and especially, Dr. Lee. 

 “I’m so sorry for ignoring the clinic’s calls,” you suddenly blurted out, feeling the blush rise and pool in your ears at the feeling of Dr. Lee’s gaze landing on you - assessing your nervous state. Your thumbs continued to fiddle with the fabric at your waist, pulling and pulling. “I-I just didn’t know what to do, and I didn’t want to face the issue. But, I now realize how stupid that was- how stupid I’ve been about this whole thing-” 

 “Don’t ever say that again, Y/N. You’re not stupid, and Nyx having cancer isn’t your fault. This was something that was inevitable and nothing you could do was going to stop it.” Dr. Lee cut through your words. You tried to comprehend what he was saying, but instead, your brain was only repeating the same phrase over and over again. 

 Y/N, 

 Y/N- 

 Y/N. 

 He had used your name, without putting ‘miss’ before it. He had never done such a thing in the past. He had always kept things professional and addressed you by your proper title - just like you had done for him. 

 But all at once, you realized that perhaps you didn’t mind it at all. And perhaps, his dropping the honorifics wasn’t so bad. 

“Still, I’m sorry for not answering the calls,” you said, shaking your head slowly in defeat. You were desperately trying to battle the furious blush that was slinking up your neck at the way that he had said your name. It sounded so perfect and beautiful on his tongue, like- 

 “I was the one making all of those calls, and I can assure you that I didn’t take your silence to heart. I understand what you’re going through right now because I’ve experienced something similar in the past with one of my passed cats.” 

 At that, your eyes tore away from the front desk and landed on Dr. Lee. Your gazes locked, and inside his chestnut-brown eyes, you found so many different emotions there… compassion and gentleness. There was a certain kind of faded light there, as you stared at him. 

 “I… I didn’t know. I just assumed that it was Chan or Jisung…” 

 Dr. Lee shrugged his proud shoulders nonchalantly, like him calling you three times a day to try and work out a treatment plan for Nyx wasn’t that big of a deal. 

 When in actuality, 

 No one in your entire life had ever tried so frantically to get ahold of you. 

 And the fact that it was him- behind the phone, waiting for you to pick up, hearing your voicemail click on every time the dial failed… just made you feel even worse. 

“But that’s all in the past now, so don’t worry about it anymore,” Dr. Lee began, waving a hand in the air to seemingly try and clear your thoughts away. You watched in silence, then, as his hand slid away from his lap and hovered over yours. In a single beat, his fingers were threading through yours, palm against palm. And his hand was so incredibly warm and familiar. “Now, let’s instead focus on Nyx’s treatment, yeah? The sooner we can give her the help she needs, the better.” 

 For a few seconds, the thoughts of your dying childhood best friend had vanished from your mind and were instead replaced with the feeling of Dr. Lee’s hand holding yours and the way that his tongue formed your name, and the way he smelled - sitting so close to you - of warm chamomile and sweet cookies. 

 Immediately, at the mention of Nyx, you felt the tears prick at the corners of your eyes once more. “I-I don’t have the money.” 

 Silence filled the space around the two of you after that, and you felt Dr. Lee’s gaze studying your form, as you squeezed your eyes shut in embarrassment. “You mean for her treatment?” 

 “Y-Yeah… I, I don’t make that much. I can barely afford her and Taffy’s regular bills as it is. But, having to pay for the cancer treatment on top of everything else? I-I just don’t think I can manage that.” 

 You felt Dr. Lee shift in his seat beside you, making your eyes spring open as you watched the pained expression cast over his entire face. It darkened his cheekbones, shooting a look of pity through his eyes. 

 “The treatment is really expensive, I’m afraid.” 

 The hiccups started then, as the tears traced down your cheeks faster. Your entire body shook with the cries, “This is why I didn’t want to come here again… I didn’t want to hear the news that nothing else could be done except- except that.” 

 It was like the fucking jumbo-sized elephant in the room… 

 The fact that- the only other solution to Nyx’s cancer would be to put her down. 

 To euthanize her. 

 Gone, forever. 

 Just like that. 

 And even though you weren’t naïve enough to think that your cat would live forever, saying goodbye to her in such a way just felt downright… cruel, after everything that the two of you had been through together. But... what other choice did you have? It's not like anyone else was going to pay for the expensive treatment, and your insurance sure as hell didn't cover pet fees. And on top of all that, you couldn't expect Dr. Lee to drop his prices exponentially just for your specific case. That'd just be downright cruel to his other customers that paid the exact amount. 

“I’m afraid you’re right,” Dr. Lee’s words cut through your stormy thoughts. A sharp pain coursed through your broken heart, as you were forced to come to terms with the problem at hand. “If you can’t afford the treatment, then the only other alternative is… euthanasia.”

 You found yourself clutching onto his hand desperately, squeezing his fingers to death between yours, as you peered up at him through glassy eyes. “P-Please… just… just tell me you’ll do it. Because I-I don’t think I can handle it if-” Your voice seized in your chest at the thought of some stranger doing such a thing to your precious Nyx. It was already going to be extremely hard for you, but the thought of some other vet doing it just ripped your heart in two even more. 

 “We offer ethical euthanasia here, so, of course, I’ll do it,” Dr. Lee clutched a little harder on your hand, and the way that his warm, slender digits felt against yours did something to calm a rattling part inside of you. “Do you feel my hand? It is there, Y/N. And it will continue to be there throughout this entire process.” 

 The breath caught in your throat, forming a large lump there, as your eyes widened his way. Because there it was again, him calling you by your first name… with no ‘miss’ in front of it. 

 “T-Thank you… so much. I seriously don’t know what I’d do right now if it wasn’t for you and this wonderful clinic and all of the amazing staff here…” Your voice trailed off, as you felt the warmth of a flush creeping up into your cheeks. 

 “Yeah, well, that’s what we’re here for… to give as much support as we can to our clients.” Dr. Lee’s tone came out soft and quiet, it ghosted over the shell of your ear like an angel’s sweet whisper. 

 “I like it.” 

 You heard Dr. Lee take in a sharp breath at your disjointed words, but before he could ask the meaning behind them, you were talking again. 

 “You calling me by my first name, I mean… I like it, a lot, Dr. Lee.” Your eyes found him in the dim lighting of the room, and for a split second, you could’ve sworn that you saw… something flash deep in those chestnut-brown pupils. 

 But then all at once, it vanished, and he was giving you an easy smile, pearly white teeth on display. And pink, rosebud lips tugging up- wait, why were you thinking about his mouth? 

“Me too,” he said in that delicate way of his, just as he squeezed your palm once more, “I really like it… Y/N.” 

To be continued...

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©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

[flowersandskeletons526]

"Put Your Gloves Up" - Warriors Concept Album fanfic (part 7/?)

More flirting, more Mercy mention, more dyke drama. Enjoy!

Previous chapter

---------

Ajax leaned against the wall beside Rembrandt’s in-progress painting. She held Rembrandt’s sketchbook, flicking through the pages while Rembrandt focused on her paint cans and the mural slowly coming into shape through the layers. When anyone else held her sketchbook, Rembrandt had always been extremely strict on “I showed you this page so do not go looking at other pages” but with Ajax, she honestly didn’t mind it. She liked Ajax’s ghost of a smile and Ajax kept her thumb on the sketch Rembrandt needed to see when she asked, so she didn’t mind it. 

“So,” Ajax said as Rembrandt began blocking out a human silhouette. “What’s up with the mask?”

“I don’t want to be blowing rainbow snot for the next week,” Rembrandt said simply. “Also don’t want to get high off the fumes and shit.”

Ajax raised an eyebrow. “Should I have a mask?”

“I think you’re fine. You don’t have your face in the middle of it like I do.”

“Fair enough.” Ajax flipped through the sketchbook, pausing to brush her fingers over a page. “Hey, I got a question.”

Rembrandt paused. She dropped her can and glanced at Ajax out of the corner of her eye. “Tell me what drawing you’re looking at first.”

“Swan’s portrait.”

“Which one?” Rembrandt asked. Ajax held up the sketchbook to show her. It was Swan, asleep, her face calm and untroubled, drawn in dark monochromatic blues with a golden sunbeam falling across one eye. Rembrandt smirked, a little sadly. That was meant to be a present, but she never finished it. She turned back to the mural. “What’s your question?”

“How did you fall in with Swan?”

Rembrandt chuckled to herself. “God, we were in third grade, I think? Maybe fourth. I was already an easy target for bullies and she was the new kid in class so we just… started sitting together. She was already a fighter even when we were kids so she had my back. Even the times she was in juvie, she somehow found a way to watch out for me. Then we met Fox in middle school and she started tagging along and it was just the three of us for a long time before Swan dropped out and started living with Cleon.”

“Aw, childhood best friends. That’s cute.” 

“I guess?” Rembrandt laughed. “How did you fall in with Cochise?”

“Met her through Cleon. I used to be kind of a punk-”

“Used to be?” Rembrandt teased.

“Ha ha, very funny,” Ajax deadpanned. “Anyway, I used to cause some trouble around the neighborhood and Cleon decided she could turn that energy into something more constructive and helped me out. I have her to thank for almost everything.” 

“Yeah. Me too. I’d only met her twice when she offered me a bed at her place. If it weren’t for her, I don’t know where I’d be right now.” Rembrandt paused. “If it weren’t for you, I’d probably be dead.”

Ajax shrugged. “You looked like you needed a little help.” 

“What were you even doing out that night?”

“Just wandering. I do that when I can’t sleep sometimes. Cleon taught me. Can’t sleep, take a walk. About to lose my temper, take a walk. If I can’t remove myself, take three deep breaths. That’s part of the reason she asked Cochise to get me security work. Physical activity helps emotional issues, I guess. It’s better than Cochise’s talk therapy,” she laughed. 

“Cochise does therapy?” 

“It’s stuff she learned from a veterans support group.” 

“Oh, yeah. I forgot she was in the military.”

“Combat medic. Girl’s seen some shit.” Ajax turned another page in the sketchbook. “These are really good.”

“Thanks.”

“They’re like the stuff you see in the MET.”

“Okay, now you’re exaggerating.” 

“No, I mean it. How’d you get into the art stuff, anyway?”

Rembrandt shrugged one shoulder. “I always liked to draw. When I was a kid, I had this art teacher who gave me supplies she was gonna throw away. Broken crayons, stubs of colored pencils, shit like that. I bought what I could and stole what I couldn’t, Swan helped me get supplies, and then I started really looking at the graffiti around the city and got some spray paints and…” Rembrandt stepped back from the mural and pulled off her mask. “Now I do this.” 

Ajax pushed herself off the wall, coming to stand beside Rembrandt. Sprayed across the wall was a faceless figure in a bright hoodie and mask, backdropped by a melting technicolor city; what Rembrandt assumed one might see if they dropped a shit ton of acid and stood on the very top of the Brooklyn Bridge. It was admittedly almost a self portrait, down to the shredded sleeves and the worn out Converse. Ajax whistled and crossed her arms as Rembrandt grabbed a skinny capped black spray paint can. In the bottom corner of the mural, she quickly scrawled her artist’s tag. 

Ajax cocked her head to the side. “Why do you sign it?”

“So other artists know to back the fuck off my turf,” Rembrandt said with a smirk, earning her a cackle from Ajax.

“Yeah, definitely good you’re running with Cleon now.” She peeked at her phone screen. “It’s still early. You got any other plans?”

“Honestly, I should get back. Cleon doesn’t exactly know that I’m gone.” 

“Thought you said she and Swanie were in the Bronx until morning.”

“I don’t want to push it.”

“That’s fair. C’mon, I’ll walk you.” 

The trip back to Cleon’s apartment was filled with light, easy conversation. That was the thing about Ajax: it was so easy to talk to her. The conversations came naturally, and Rembrandt had never been one for talking but with Ajax she couldn’t seem to stop. As they walked, Rembrandt pointed out painted storefronts she’d been paid to decorate, and Ajax complimented them every time. Rembrandt had heard everything she said a hundred times before, but it felt different coming from her. It felt more real. Everything felt more real with her.

They walked slowly, anything to draw out the night. When they finally reached the apartment, they lingered on the stoop, Rembrandt fiddling with her keys as she leaned against the wall next to the door. 

“Thanks for coming out with me tonight,” she said quietly. “It’s been awhile since I got the chance to put up a new mural. Without, y’know, getting my ass kicked.”

“Any time. I liked watching you work.” With one hand in her jacket pocket, Ajax braced her forearm above Rembrandt’s head and leaned over her. Rembrandt completely short circuited. “You’re really talented. I can tell you’re gonna go somewhere with it. Somewhere better than Coney.”

Rembrandt grinned and chuckled, hoping she didn’t sound too nervous as she tried to keep her eyes off Ajax’s face, dangerously close to hers. “Where could be better than Coney?”

Ajax smiled. “That’s true. For real, though. You’re gonna make it big.”

“Thanks.” Rembrandt took a deep breath. “Um, would you want to do this again, maybe? I seen one of those graffiti removal vans kinda lurking around so I’m gonna have a lot more open spots pretty soon.” 

“Yeah. Lemme know when you get another free night.” 

“Are you gonna be okay walking home by yourself?”

“Pssh. I’m the toughest motherfucker in Coney Island,” Ajax said with pride, and then more sincerely, “I’m not too far from here. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Ajax.”

“Night, Rembrandt. I’ll see you.” 

“Yeah. See you.” 

Cleon and Swan were still out, luckily. Rembrandt dropped her backpack just inside her bedroom door and collapsed into bed. She laid on her back, pressing a hand over her racing heart, willing it to slow down. She laughed a little to herself, unsure of how to feel, what to think, how to bring herself off this high. 

Ajax was so close. She could have reached up and-

Rembrandt shot upright. “Nope!” she hollered to the empty room. “No! I am not thinking about that!” 

Liar.

The next morning, Rembrandt met Fox outside her apartment. The first thing the younger girl said was, “How was your date with Ajax?”

Rembrandt shoved her. “It was not a date.” 

“It sounded like a date.” 

“It wasn’t.” 

“Swan’s gonna freak if she finds out.”

“It’s not Swan’s business.” 

Fox stopped dead in her tracks. “Who are you and what have you done with Rembrandt?” 

“Huh?”

“Since when is anything you do not Swan’s business?”

“I’m grown and she’s not my girlfriend. I can talk to whoever I want.”

“But you two have always been-”

“Fox.” Rembrandt grabbed her shoulders. “I’m not dating Ajax. And it’s not Swan’s business. Got it?”

Fox grumbled uncomfortably but nodded anyway. 

At the gym that afternoon, Rembrandt tried to forgive herself for the way she immediately looked for Ajax. She spotted her near the back office, talking to a man Cochise would later tell her was the gym’s owner. Rembrandt went to meet with Cochise and left Ajax to her work. She couldn’t deny she was a little sad they didn’t get the chance to talk in person that day, but she reminded herself that this was in fact Ajax’s job and Rembrandt couldn’t always have her undivided attention. Not that she was looking for Ajax’s undivided attention, anyway. Not usually.

A few days passed before Cleon and Swan went out for the night again. Rembrandt had Ajax on the phone almost immediately, and within minutes they were walking through the dark, cold streets together, hands brushing as they went but never fully interlocked, the smiles never leaving their faces. Ajax kept her head on a swivel, which Rembrandt appreciated, eyes darting to every out of place sound. 

If there was any chance of danger, Ajax had it handled. She made that very clear. It made Rembrandt feel safer than she had in years. 

This went on for a few weeks. Swan was gone so often that Rembrandt began running out of real mural plans and just went out to touch up old paintings with Ajax, sometimes multiple nights in a row. She learned a lot about the brawler in those weeks.

Ajax loved music and wanted to be a drummer as a child but settled on collecting vintage cassette tapes.

Ajax was “sorta” afraid of heights.

Ajax thought upstate was pretty but would miss the noise of the city if she ever left.

Ajax was deeply secretive of her past and changed the subject whenever conversation veered towards it. 

Rembrandt felt… better, the more time she spent with Ajax. Lighter. Happier. To the point where Fox and Cowgirl commented on it and Swan let up on her protectiveness just a little, like she thought Rembrandt was in a better place to handle herself. Which she was. 

And then Ajax wasn’t at the gym one day. Or the next. Or the day after that. Rembrandt texted her the second day asking if she was alright, and she promised she was. She gave the excuse that she’d “worked too many hours” and the owner asked her to take a few days off work. Rembrandt wasn’t sure how much she believed that.

The night she finally got to see her again was the night she finally had to ask Cleon for permission to leave, because this time, only Swan was going out. 

Swan was going out in her nicest clothes for the night. To Manhattan. Alone. 

To meet up with that fucking chick from the Bronx.

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” Rembrandt badgered as Swan finished getting ready. “Where are you even going?”

“We’re just going to a club in the Village. My phone is fully charged and I’ve got money to get home. I’ll be fine, Rem, you can quit acting like she’s some kind of axe murderer.”

Hypocrite, Rembrandt thought as she followed her to the door. “She threw a bottle at your head when you first met.”

“She has a point, Swan,” Cleon called from the couch.

“Thanks for the support,” Swan deadpanned. “Rem, really, you can chill out. I’ll be home before three AM.”

“Two,” said Cleon.

“Cleon!”

“Fine. Two-thirty.”

Swan rolled her eyes as Rembrandt stifled a laugh. She pulled her into a quick hug, grabbing her keys from the hook beside the door. “I’ll text you when I’m on the train home. Get some sleep.”

“Have fun,” Rembrandt forced out. She prayed she didn’t sound as awful as she felt about this. 

She went to her room and flopped face first onto the bed. Like every other time, she gave it a minute before texting Ajax, enough to make sure Swan was well out of Coney Island. Like every other time, Ajax said she’d be there in ten. Rembrandt gathered all her courage, shouldered her backpack, and stepped out into the living room. 

Cleon glanced up at her as she stood at the edge of the couch. “Are you going to make sure Swan doesn’t get axe murdered?” the older woman joked, keeping her tone light. Because Cleon wasn’t worried. If she were worried, she wouldn’t have let Swan go.

“No, I… I wanted to know if it would be okay with you if I went out to work on a mural,” Rembrandt said. 

“You’re an adult. You don’t have to ask for my permission.”

“I’m covering my ass. Swan will lose it if I don’t let somewhere know where I am. She still thinks I’m gonna get jumped if I go out on my own at night.”

“Are you gonna be on your own?”

“No.” She shoved her hands in her pockets in an effort to stop fidgeting. “I’m going with Ajax.”

That gave Cleon pause. She raised her eyebrows. “Does Swan know that?”

“Swan doesn’t like Ajax.”

She made a face. “That’s fair. Yeah, I don’t mind. You have my number. Call me if there’s any trouble.”

Rembrandt grinned, her shoulders sagging with relief. “Thanks, Cleon.”

“Oh, wait.” Cleon stood as Rembrandt grabbed her boots. She lowered her voice. “You know that Ajax… works with me, right?”

Her smile faded. “Yeah?”

“And you know what I do?”

“What happened?”

“Just don’t freak out when you see her.” 

Rembrandt thought that was a weird warning until she was outside and finally saw Ajax for the first time in three days. “Don’t freak out” was apparently Cleon’s way of saying “she got the shit kicked out of her.” Ajax had a black eye and a badly busted lip, still healing, and one of her canines had the sharp tip chipped off. Rembrandt couldn’t see her hands, but she could imagine what they looked like: bruised to the wrist, split open and bloodied, should be bandaged but probably weren’t because Ajax flaunted injuries like war paint. 

Ajax raised her hands as Rembrandt ran over to her, and the artist got enough of a glimpse to know she was right. “I’m okay,” was the first thing to come out of her mouth. 

“Did you get hit by a train or something?” Rembrandt cried, panic rising in her chest. 

“I had to handle some business. It’s chill. I won.” 

“How many people did you fight?” 

“Not enough to beat me,” Ajax laughed. She spun and made a show of flexing. “See? Totally fine.”

Rembrandt couldn’t help but smile. “Dork.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She slung an arm over Rembrandt’s shoulders, an easy, friendly gesture, but one she hadn’t done before and one that sent Rembrandt’s mind into a spiral. “So, what are you working on tonight?”

“Just touch-ups.”

I just wanted to see you.

“I didn’t think Cleon had business tonight. Did you sneak out?”

“Cleon gave me permission.”

“And Swan?”

“She’s out with some girl.”

The night was normal, as far as their nights went. Some dickhead had scrawled a crappy tag over one of Rembrandt’s paintings. It didn’t take her long to cover it, but she moved slower than normal, not wanting to speed through and possibly cut her time with Ajax short. The more selfless part of her thought Ajax really wasn’t in any shape to be out. She caught the little hitch in her breath, the way she favored one leg and tried to keep weight off it. But every time she opened her mouth to ask, Ajax was quick to say, “I’m okay.” Like she could read her mind. 

The night was normal until Rembrandt stopped to X out the same tag that had marred her painting. A car revved around the corner. Ajax touched her shoulder, suddenly stone still as she looked in the direction of the sound. And then the lights flashed and the sirens blared and Ajax grabbed Rembrandt by the hand and shouted, “Cops!”

They bolted. Rembrandt knew Coney Island like the back of her hand, but Ajax apparently had a completely different map laid out in her mind. She led Rembrandt down side streets she hadn’t noticed, through backyards with low fences, weaving through an abandoned construction site as the cop car gave chase. Rembrandt counted them lucky that it was only one car. Usually they didn’t send out reinforcements for vandals but you never knew. 

Finally, Ajax pulled her through a broken panel in the fence around an empty lot. They tucked themselves into a corner, staying low as the police sirens passed and faded into the distance. They locked eyes when the sound finally disappeared. They burst out laughing. 

Ajax leaned back against the fence, holding her ribs. “Fuck! That was close.”

“Yeah,” Rembrandt chuckled. “How did you know all those spots to go through?”

“I’ve spent a lot of time running from the cops.” Turning to Rembrandt, she flashed a wolfish grin. “You want a drink?”

Which was how Rembrandt ended up sitting on the stoop of a condemned building with Ajax, sufficiently drunk, passing a cigarette and a bottle of gin back and forth. Cleon was right; gin was disgusting, but it made her feel warm in the cold night. She rested her head on Ajax’s shoulder as they talked. Ajax planted a hand behind her and leaned closer. 

“I really appreciate you coming out with me,” Rembrandt mumbled around the cigarette. “It’s a lot easier not having to look over my shoulder every two seconds.”

“I like seeing you paint. It’s cool.” Ajax took a long sip of gin. “Y’know, you could go to school for it. Make good money,” she suggested.

Rembrandt scoffed. “Maybe if I win the lottery.”

“Don’t they have scholarships and shit?” 

“Yeah, merit scholarships, for people with good grades. It’s not enough to cover a whole four years. My best chance is selling a few paintings that go for way more after I die and some historian writing a half-assed biography about me. Ugh, it’s fucking cliche, man!” she cried drunkenly. She leaned back on the stoop, barely registering the discomfort of the edge of the steps digging into her back. “Like, come on! Scrawny little kid, Mom’s gone, Dad hits me, I get bullied at school and turn to art as a coping mechanism. Seriously! It’s the backstory of every famous artist that gets a documentary made about them after they kick it. I’m just another ACS failure.”

Ajax chuckled, a little sadly. “You and me both.”

Rembrandt turned to look at her. “You? Really?”

“Father wasn’t around. Mommy dearest had a very hands-on approach to parenting, like your dad, and the people she let come around me were…” Ajax squirmed uncomfortably. “They weren’t very nice. Let’s leave it at that. I couldn’t just sit around and wait to get bigger than them so I learned how to fight back instead. Had to run eventually. Dropped out of school. I stayed with a cousin until he said he couldn’t deal with me and kicked me out. Just did odd jobs and maybe some less than legal stuff to make it through until I met Cleon and she helped me find an apartment, introduced me to Cochise, got me that job at the gym.”

Ajax took a deep, stuttering breath and looked away so Rembrandt couldn’t see her face. Rembrandt put a hand on her shoulder. She reached up to hold it there. It occurred to Rembrandt that this was the first crack in the facade she’d seen so far. No anger, no fight, no cockiness, Ajax was just… hurting.

“I know why Swan told you I was trouble. I don’t blame her for it. I know I probably could have turned out better.”

“I think you turned out good.”

Ajax looked down at Rembrandt. She sat up and suddenly found herself very, very close to Ajax’s face, gazing deep into those dark eyes now glassy with tears. She squeezed Ajax’s arm, feeling her muscle tense, and the sounds of the city faded away and all she could hear was Ajax’s shaky breathing and her own heartbeat hammering in her ears. She shifted closer to Ajax. She started to speak.

Ajax turned away and stood up suddenly only to fall right back on her ass. The moment broke as she held a hand to her head and started laughing. “Motherfucker!” she exclaimed. “I am way more drunk than I thought I was.”

Rembrandt giggled. “Me, too,” she said, and before she could think, continued, “I really don’t want to go home. Swan’s probably back by now and she’s gonna fucking kill me if I show up this out of it. She doesn’t even know I went out tonight.”

“Can’t blame her for being so protective over you.” Ajax dragged a hand down her face. She opened her mouth, closed it, and opened it again. “Want to stay at my place? It’s just me and it’s not far from here.”

Rembrandt hesitated. “Are you sure?”

“Why not?” Ajax said with a shrug. “You take the bed. I’ll take the couch. Deal with Swan’s wrath when you’re not plastered.”

“Yeah, when I’m hungover instead. Sure.” Rembrandt stood and offered a hand to help Ajax up, snickering as Ajax stumbled just a little bit. “You’re really drunk.”

“No shit,” Ajax laughed. She reached out, and Rembrandt instinctively moved against her side, putting an arm around her waist and letting the brawler lean on her. “Alright, uh… that way.”

“You sure you know the way back to your apartment? ’Cause if you get us lost-”

“I won’t, I won’t. Promise.”

The walk to Ajax’s apartment took far longer than it probably should have, with them stumbling and laughing the whole way. Ajax fumbled with her keys and dropped them twice before finally getting into the apartment. The pair haphazardly kicked off their shoes by the door, and Ajax gave Rembrandt a quick tour around the space. It was small and a little messy but no worse than Rembrandt’s room.

Ajax leaned against the wall next to the bedroom door. “This is it. The door locks, if you want it locked. I’ll be right out here if you need anything.”

Rembrandt was drunk and depressed and she honestly just wanted to stay with Ajax and suddenly she found herself leaning forward to rest her forehead against Ajax’s chest. “Will you lay with me?” she whispered. She had no idea what she was saying or why she couldn’t shut up but she just kept talking. “I don’t want to be alone right now.”

“I, uh, y-yeah. Yeah, I’ll stay.”

“Thank you.”

They laid down together fully clothed. Rembrandt curled up against Ajax’s chest, and Ajax pulled her close without hesitation, strong arms holding her tight. She felt the brawler relax against her, sighing as if an entire life’s worth of tension drained from her body in that one breath. Rembrandt slung an arm over her waist and gripped the back of her shirt to cuddle even closer, their legs intertwining as they melted into each other. 

As Rembrandt drifted off, she had a final drunken, fleeting thought. 

I could get used to this.

[last-blue-hours]

https://www.tumblr.com/last-blue-hours/758882672634445824/i-guess-i-have-to-formally-announce-that-im?source=share

Taekookers and Jungkook solos seem to be under this misconception that Jikookers are all Jimin-biased lol. I've realized this being so long in the fandom. But when I was new and getting to know BTS, Jungkook was the first one I gravitated towards and soon I became a Jungkook biased ARMY. And it was through focusing on JK and watching non-edited content + little clips that revolved around him that I picked up on something between him and Jimin.

I didn't stumble upon shipping spaces or videos that could have altered my perception, it was all authentic. And mind you that time every little BTS content had Taekook at the forefront of the things I used to see and was recommended the most. But whenever I'd watch him with Jimin, the way Jungkook himself would behave towards Jimin (whom I didn't even like then), I'd feel so weird, like I'm watching moments between two people that I'm not supposed to witness. Even the moments when he'd push him away, I saw only myself when I was in love with my ex-girlfriend who wasn't my girlfriend but just a close friend then. Everything that JK is, his personality, is so much like myself, I feel. And that's a major reason why he's my bias, other than the fact that he's so talented.

Definitely not every Jikooker is Jimin biased, in fact from my perspective I'd say quite a number of them are Jungkook biased. And I think the Jm biased Jikookers have gotten even less now because of what happened with Face and Seven (people feeling the company sabotaged Jimin while JK got heavy promotion). A lot of the people who became PJMs in 2023 are ex-jikookers.

I’ve known bts and somewhat witnessed the inner workings of their fandom for a very long time. Although for some time, I have seen myself in the category of a lurker. I didn’t have the time to actively be a part of it. Now, I have crawled out of the woodworks, on time for the travel show.

It was jimin who caught my eye but it was jungkook, whose introversion, so similar to mine that I saw a sort of fondness growing and settling deep within me. I was there when km’s relationship began to take shape, something very undefinable still since we’re just spectators but I can pinpoint the exact moment when a lot of people could just tell. We just knew. Jungkook was the more obvious one, his face shows a map of his heart. We didn’t have jeonlus or satellite jeon for no reason, they were exaggerated but it was fun while it lasted. And what you said about your experience with your ex-girlfriend (I hope what you had with her was good for however long it lasted), the more you feel for someone, the more overwhelming it is to be around that person. Often times people misinterpret it as something malicious, which is what happened with Jungkook. And the kid was also going through a very sensitive developmental and transitional phase of his life. People are still unkind to that Jungkook.

I don’t like saying this but so many are in some ways living vicariously through km’s relationship while having an internal struggle as they project their own insecurities onto it. It’s such a shame how misery is thriving in these spaces on both sides. And why many jm biased jjkers have become solo stans. Another reason being, as you pointed out, how hybe handled jimin and jungkook’s solo debut. Hybe proved to be very incompetent while handling jimin. And the resources they did give Jungkook, it was to push an idea of a certain image, a regurgitated image of a popstar we have seen being already exhausted in the music industry. They didnt get the memo of what made Jungkook golden. That’s just what was off about the whole album. I’d like a better creative team for him.

And I do think a lot of jjkers are just people who are equally interested in jungkook and jimin as individuals. But yes there are a lot of jungkook biased jjkers. Us.

[aois-amaterasu-painting]

Aoi Twitter 2022 (+bonus Tsuchinoko tweets):

2021 July 26: "This year, I was able to meet up with Tsuchinoko without any issues, and it seems like Uruha-san's fans are getting more used to it. From now on, I might have to call it the 'shy blue-tongued skink blog,' but that’s so long - I really don’t wanna! #ItHasBeenUpdated"

2021 July 27 Ruki: "It's the blog of our rumored Tsuchinoko lead guitarist. 🦆"

2022 Feb "Th-there's Tsuchinokoーーー! With a photooo! For more details, go to my profile! #UruhaBlogGotUpdated

2022 Mar 26 Uruha: "I’ve started Twitter to commemorate our 20th anniversary. Everyone, please continue to support us. Let's make the tour even more exciting!!"

2022 Mar "Wait, hold on a second. Could this be the Tsuchinoko guy? 🤔"

Uruha QT: "I'm not a Tsuchinoko! LOL"

Reita QT: "Ah, he's on Twitter… You can't call him Tsuchinoko anymore! 🤘🏻"

Uruha QT: "Ah, that's the thing that matters!"

2022 Feb "Right now, I have this overwhelming urge to grow my hair super long. To put it simply, I want to look like Rapunzel."

2022 Mar "I really like Ruki's delicate sense of aesthetics."

2022 May "And just between us, I missed the timing for a song and when I got back to the dressing room, Uruha was grinning and said, 'Nice arrangement 🤩👍'. Before heading to the venue tomorrow, I'm going to stop by the 100-yen shop to buy some joke glasses and party poppers. I’m going to tease him big time when he messes up. Just you wait."

Uruha QT: "I just returned the favor since you always say it to me 🫶."

Aoi QT: ( ˘ω˘🫶 )

2022 May HBD My bro.🧁

2022 May "Fukuoka, I’m back. And thank you. I won’t say anything more today. Once again, happy birthday, Reita 🎂."

2022 Jun "Nagoya, I’m back! Ruki and Kai also mentioned it, but we’re really feeling like a band more than ever. Sometimes things don’t go perfectly, but being able to turn our ‘want to play’ into ‘getting to play’ is a blessing. I’ve got some unfinished work, so I’ll head back early, but let’s hang out again soon ✊Thank you, Nagoya."

2022 Jun "Good morning 🙌 Let’s have a great day today. I have just one job for you all—cheer me on!!!"

2022 Jun "I couldn’t figure out one of the trending Visual Kei quiz questions. But of course, that makes sense. After all, I am a being that transcends the boundaries of the Visual Kei genre itself 🍷."

2022 Jun "I mean, Seikima-II is releasing a new album, so I won’t be able to sleep until the release day. It brings back memories of being scared by my brother at the beginning of 'House of Wax' when I was in elementary school. I’m so excited 🙌."

2022 Jun HBD URUHA🍰🎉🥸

2022 Jun "Thank you, Sagami-Ono. Live shows are just the best, aren’t they? Looks like I’m going to have some good dreams tonight. Let’s hang out again soon 🙌."

2022 Jun Reita: "Take this as a souvenir for the afterlife. The residents of Shimote"

2022 July "But then again, wanting to peek into someone else’s romance might be human folly, so perhaps it’s better if it stays hidden behind the clouds. Since the universe doesn’t cloud over, I’d like to think that’s better for the two of them. (Serious face)"

July 14 IG post: the GazettE LIVE TOUR2022 -MASS- / PHASE 01-COUNT “DECEM” Thank you so much for coming to Nakano Sun Plaza Hall!

As we embarked on this tour after such a long time, I’m sure there were a lot of concerns on your end. As a band, we were eager to share time with you all as soon as possible, but we also felt uncertain about how to take responsibility if a “what if” situation arose.

Thanks to everyone’s unwavering support and care for the band, no “what if” scenarios happened at all. Now that we’ve successfully completed PHASE 01, I feel a sense of relief.

This tour was also a message to society, showing that with proper measures, live shows can be safe and we can gradually regain our daily lives. But this wasn’t something the band could achieve alone—it couldn’t have happened without everyone’s cooperation.

As I looked out at the audience in each venue, I kept thinking about these things. Everyone who came to the shows looked so cool and gave it their all to enjoy themselves, and I felt proud seeing that. My people are this amazing—I can’t help but feel proud!

The next stage we announced today isn’t just an inevitable follow-up to PHASE 01—it’s not a given that PHASE 02 would happen. It’s thanks to everyone’s support that we can create a day where precious companions, including those who had to sit this one out, can gather again. That makes me genuinely happy.

There’ll be a small gap before we meet again, but we’ll come back even stronger. If you’re up for it, I hope you’ll come see us again. Honestly, I’d love that—but more importantly, if you don’t show up, the other four might sulk!

So, for the time being, we might still cause you some extra trouble and worry, but I’m genuinely looking forward to the day we can go wild together again.

Thank you so, so much!

#theGazettE #TOUR2022 #HETERODOXY #異端総會

2022 July "What exactly is a fan meeting? I've been pondering this for almost 20 years now. The hardest part is whether I can properly convey my gratitude to everyone. I'm not very good at expressing myself. Just thinking about it gives me a stomachache, so I've been wondering for the past two hours if it's finally time to use some of my paid leave. What do you think? 🤔"

2022 Aug "Good morning ☀︎ I watched the 20th ANNIVERSARY -HERESY- video that arrived last night this morning. That day really was the best. I hope you're all looking forward to it 😌 I think it airs on 8/11."

2022 Sep "Ah, I looked amazing again today. I might end up charming everyone without meaning to, so please forgive me."

2022 Sep Reita "But you all have nowhere to go because I won’t take my eyes off you. But starting today, since we’re having rehearsal, I’ll have to look away for a bit 🫣"

Aoi QT: Yes, Fallen in love.

2022 Sep: "After the fan meeting, I’ve been putting all my effort into preparing for this day. I played my guitar with everything I had—my fingertips are torn, my hair is in disarray, and I played with single-minded focus. What you see here is the culmination of my efforts. Thank you, everyone. On the first day of band rehearsal, I’ve completed this 02 tour. The rest is up to you... Have goods dreams... (:3 ｣ ∠) The end."

2022 Sep 17: "Huh? The 02 tour hasn't started yet? More importantly, I can't get out of my head how Uruha kept smirking and saying, 'Aoi-san has a lot of solos this time, doesn’t he?' If the tour starts like this, my frail heart will surely burst. So, with that, adiós... (|3 ｣ ∠)."

Uruha QT: "No, that’s not it! I was just jealous 🤗"

Sep 17 Aoi QT: "I have more than usual compared to previous times. Uta-ma has as many as usual. So there's no need to be jealous ( 🫶˘ω˘ )"

Sep 21 IG post: "During the summer, I was busy with preparations and events, so today is a little breather. The cool breeze feels amazing◎ …or so I thought, but it’s getting hot just sitting here, so I’m heading back home 🏍

#CBR600RR #Yuigahama"

2022 Sep 25: "I'm getting closer to achieving the sound I want day by day, but on the other hand, there's the dilemma of having sounds I've prepared but hardly ever use. I'm trying to sound like a musician here, but tweaking presets is risky and a hassle, though if it works out, it’s worth it. It’s frustrating."

2022 Sep 27: "That aside, the truth is, we're basically Sailor Moon, so we really need to get that thing today. Was it 'Tsukimi has changed and it's delicious'? That's a clever line. Well then, I'm off to the studio🙌."

2022 Sep: "Ugh, that sauce had an unpleasant flavor. And can you stop putting up pictures of me looking like a cross-dressing old guy holding something vulgar?"

2022 Sep: "We had a really good rehearsal today ◎ I've slimmed down a bit, so look forward to it 🫣 P.S. I think our new uniforms are really comfortable. Hmm... 🤔"

2022 Sep: "Sorry for the late hour. Listening to this again now, I recall the emotions I had when I composed those phrases back then, and it makes me feel a bit embarrassed but also proud. 😌 When you type '20 years,' it's just three characters and a brief moment, but it was an irreplaceable time."

2022 Sep: "When I think about it, during those 20 years, we were a part of so many people's youth. In a few decades, let's look back on those days together in a retirement home 🤘 Well, good night."

2022 Oct: "Just between us, one of my acoustic guitars isn't working well, so I'm borrowing Uta-ma's guitar. I plan to return it in better condition than when I borrowed it ┏○)) The Kobe performance will start in about 45 minutes. Please look only at me."

2022 Oct: "Great job in Kobe! I still believe the latest is the best. It might sound self-serving, but when the band is at its best, the results follow. It was that kind of night. Everyone in Kobe, let's hang out again 🙌 Next up, Kagoshima—wait for us! 💪"

2022 Oct: "Hey ✋ From what I remember, the highlights of yesterday were REITA trying to stomp on my Achilles tendon, and the person on the right side of the stage inching closer, making little adjustments, as if they wanted to have their back against mine 😪."

2022 Oct Reita: "Worship us, who have descended upon Kagoshima."

Aoi QT: "So, it's not written in katakana…?"

Reita QT: "Revere us, for we have descended upon Kagoshima…"

2022 Oct: "Kobe and Kagoshima were so much fun, but it seems I was really tired. I slept for about 10 hours like I melted 🫠. I overslept, so I’m heading back with messy hair. Please don’t look at me."

2022 Oct: "U: 'Huh? You don't get it? The answer is peanuts!' A & K: (Writhing in stomach pain and dying peacefully) By the way, 'peanut' is the Japanese name, you know. That’s it from the backstage about 10 minutes before the performance.┏○))"

Uruha QT: "Stop it! ❗️lol I just said that instead of nitpicking, it's better to build up your virtues, which will then contribute to the success of the live show—didn't you just say that yourself? 😫"

Aoi QT: "Just between you and me, you were the one who said that, and I only replied, 'Yeah, that's right.' 😲 To be honest, from the way it's written, it doesn't even sound like something I would say…"

2022 Oct: "Great job, Fenice 🫶 By the third song, the volume pedal—the 'one that controls everything'—went crazy, and I ended up making a face like 'dafuq' It’s probably a curse because I couldn’t find the right pedal before the show and settled for this one instead. 'Punished,' just like the drumsticks. Please accept this as my humble offering."

2022 Oct: "I got a little caught up preparing for tomorrow, but once again, HBD KAI 🍪"

2022 Oct Reita: "I have returned from hell to annihilate the carefree fools."

Aoi QT: "Please accept this offering (┐「ε:)【ヲ】"

2022 Oct "It’s been a while since I decided to grow out my hair like Tatsuro’s long locks. Right now is the hardest period, where styling is the most difficult. But I endured this morning, believing it will get easier once I push through. By the way, I mean Yamashita Tatsuro."

Nov 3 IG post: "Hi! Yesterday, the weather was great, but I ended up doing other things and couldn’t ride my bike. So today, I’m enjoying my day off with a ride. For some reason, I had this sudden craving for namero (though I’d never tried it before), so I went on a little Chiba tour and gave it a shot. Was it Futtsu? Yeah, I think it was Futtsu. I had it at Sazanami Restaurant. It was delicious 🐟. Well, I’ll wander around a bit more and head home 🏍."

2022 Nov 8: "The moon is amazing 😲"

Nov 10 IG post: "RIDE:)"

2022 Nov 15 "I was planning to grow my hair long enough to braid it and use it as a jump rope, but I'm starting to lose motivation. I'm always shouting in my head, 'So annoying! Ugh, so annoying!'"

2022 Nov Reita: "The day after tomorrow, we’ll be in Koriyama for the first time in a while. Next up is BEAUTIFUL DEFORMITY. Let me post a picture of myself from back then. I wonder which generation REITA this was, since now I’m the 8th generation… I keep dying and reincarnating all the time ☠️"

Aoi QT: "Back then, we were like razors, weren’t we? You were the 'Kami' and I was the 'Sori'."

(*TN. Play on words. "Kami" (カミ) means "god" or "hair," and "Sori" (ソリ) means "razor" or "shaving.")

Reita QT: "Now, both are gods"

2022 Nov: "Thank you, Utsunomiya. Each show is special, and because of that, I didn’t want to ruin it with my own lack of skill. MASS has been that kind of tour for me, but it's entirely because of my own shortcomings. Not writing anything would only make everyone worried, but right now, I can’t find the right words. For now, before the day changes, I just want to say thank you for today. Thank you."

Ruki QT: "Personally, today was a day where I gave it my all, but there are still plenty of times when I feel frustrated like this. It’s proof of how serious we are about each and every live show. But the strength of a band lies in how we each cover those frustrations, come together, and help each other grow. And I believe that every challenge we overcome allows us to grow even more. 🔥"

Aoi QT: "Hey, stop it. I wasn’t expecting this, and now I can’t read because my vision’s all blurry.."

2022 Nov: "To be honest, I was scared today. Even though it's my own fault, it felt like a bit of a hurdle to stand in front of everyone. But it looked like everyone accepted me and had a great time. Thank you. Let’s have fun again! By the way, Reita's chest wasn’t my type."

Reita QT: "How rude to grope it without permission, right? 💕 But you know, it can be surprisingly addictive 😘

[allwaswell16]

Hi Anitra! I was wondering if you had any favourite omega!louis fics?

Ohhhh I have so many...I'll try to narrow it down to five for you...

where the lights are beautiful by twoshipsdrifting / @polkadotlou

Harry wasn’t wrong about that, not in a general sense. Lots of omegas did seek out rich alphas and betas, hoping or planning to go into heat at the right time. Plenty of omegas saw this as their duty, especially if their families weren’t well off. Worse, Louis couldn’t honestly say he’d never thought about it. If that had been his life, his goal, Louis would feel pretty good about himself now. As it is…Louis feels like shit.

Or the accidental bonding a/b/o fic.

Moon Dances Over by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

Louis knows that his tail is, frankly, stunning. His iridescent blue scales shimmer in even the slightest sunlight, and his fins have grown since he presented, delicate and almost transparent in their webbing.

He also knows that that means he’ll be one of the first to pick tonight, as the most beautiful omegas are blessed to pick their mates first. It’s considered a huge honour, since the guppies they’ll eventually birth will certainly be beautiful as well, bringing favour on the whole clan.

Louis has a stubborn streak, though. He’s always been rather a fan of mating for love, and there’s someone he’s had his eye on for a long time now.

Saving Symphony Hall by @helloamhere

“I think I have an idea,” Louis said. Slowly, and reluctantly, but with a growing sense of the inevitable. “God damnit, I think I have a really good idea.”

“Oh christ, that's the problem-solving face,” Babs said. “Last time we saw that face, he sold a company.”

“Wait, what?” Zayn asked.

“Right place, right time,” Louis said. “Also, fuck my life,”

“What?” Zayn repeated. Niall patted his hand.

“I usually just roll with whatever Louis is about to do,” he said. “It’s better for us all.”

“That’s the attitude,” said Louis, “I’ll tell you tomorrow. Tonight, I need to do some research. Zayn, give me your number. I’m gonna save our symphony.”

And That’s The Tea by @2tiedships2

I’d like an Earl Grey with milk and sugar, please.

Louis had the phrase memorized, even though it had disappeared off its place on his upper arm over thirteen years ago now.

At fourteen he didn’t understand. Soulmarks don’t just disappear. Not unless…

Unless one of them dies.

Or, the one where Louis loses his soulmate before even getting the chance to meet them, and he is in no way prepared for the kind of distraction his new friend Harry proves to be.

Cameras Flashing by @juliusschmidt

With his breakout single platinum three times over and his second album still selling out in stores around the world, Louis Tomlinson has made it to the top. However, his position as Pop Heartthrob of the Decade is threatened by the edgier, more artistic Zayn, who happens to be releasing an album a week after Louis’ upcoming third. Louis needs something groundbreaking- scandalous, even- to push past him in the charts. Much to Louis’ dismay, his PR team calls in The Sexpert.

Consulting with PR firm Shady, Lane and Associates pays the bills so that Harry Styles can spend his down time doing what he really loves: poring over data. On weekends and late into the evenings, he researches gender, presentation, and sexual orientation, analysing the longitudinal study that is his father’s life’s work. That is, until his newest client, the popstar with the fascinating secret, drags him off his couch and frighteningly close to the spotlight.

As the album’s release date approaches, will Tomlinson and Styles be able to pull off the most risky PR scheme of the millennium and beat Zayn in sales or will the heat of their feelings for each other compromise everything?

Bonus: My favorite omega Louis I wrote lol

If I Loved You Less by allwaswell16

Beautiful omega Louis Tomlinson is set to make his come out in London society and determined to find a mate in his first Season. With the help and protection of his oldest friend, Lord Niall Mendes, he takes Society by storm.

Being a wealthy and titled alpha means Lord Harry Styles has grown used to avoiding unmated omegas...until now. This Season he finds himself at every Society event just for a chance to speak with the omega with the flashing blue eyes.

Louis has the aristocracy at his feet and all the suitors he could hope for, but his secrets may ruin his chance at a love match.

[imathers]

Top 20: Los Campesinos! — All Hell

Dusted review

As I often say, I don't always have a record of the year. In 2024 I did, and it was not particularly close. That's not just because of how good I think All Hell is, although as the recency bias fades with time I still think it's their best album and I can't say there's anything else the whole year that I enjoyed more. But that's not fully extricable from my relationship with the band dating back to before the first album, the band I've seen live the most times, one of a relatively few that I care enough about to get a tattoo about it.

When a favourite like that goes away for seven years and then suddenly there's a new song, I don't know about you, but I feel some trepidation. Even when that sort of thing works out, it usually takes some time. At this point I think NO BLUES might be my second favourite LC! LP but it took a while for me to truly warm up to it (even though I did like it when it came out). So I don't know if I had a better five minutes all year then when I first hit play on "Feast of Tongues" already emotionally crouched in a defensive position, preparing to tell myself it was promising and I'd probably grow to love it, and then

oh, it turns out it's one of the best songs they've ever done

and I listen to it about ten times in a row (I don't do that) and I'm sending the link to various friends I know like LC! (I don't do that) and even getting people I see in person to maybe give it a listen (I don't do that). Even after really loving the other songs they released ahead of the album/their Toronto show, I still showed up for the Bandcamp listening party ready to not be blown away. But I can honestly say that All Hell is the first time in my living memory that a record hit me this hard immediately and still sounds good months (and many plays) later.

I know I'm in deep here because the first few times I listened to the acoustic More Hell EP they put out I was ready to write an essay on how brilliant the reworkings are (this is of interest to virtually nobody, I know). And the live show... again, I've seen them 15 times or something and this might have been the best one. The genuine joy of having a beloved act show up on very little notice and suddenly be even better than they'd been before... I hope we all get that sometime in 2025. We are so fucking back, if no-one got me I know LC! got me, etc etc.

(I know nothing in the world is for everyone and I don't expect this to be either, but while normally I find the varieties and vagaries of taste fascinating whether they match my own or not, in this case I Do Not Need to hear about it if you hate this, thanks!)

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Unexpected 18

Sequel to Unsolicited

Warnings: non/dubcon, pregnancy, car sex, Lloyd being the worst, and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

You sit on the couch with a few too many pillows and layers of blankets around you. There’s a bright smoothie and a tray of snacks courtesy of Dottie. As you flip to a reality show about single people on an island, Harlan appears, almost like a ghost, and sits in one of the cushioned chairs. You watch him lean an elbow on the armrest.

“I can change this,” you offer, embarrassed.

“No, darlin’, I’m just fine,” he waves you off, “just restin’ my old legs.”

You leave the show on and reach for a cracker. You haven’t seen Lloyd since the hospital and you’re happy for it. He wasn’t in a good mood, not since he found you outside, but his parents did little to help that. You hear Dottie’s distant singing, an Elvis song you vaguely recognise.

“She don’t look like it, but my wife is a ball of energy,” Harlan chuckles to himself, “she’s so excited for ya, kid. Me too, no doubt, me too.”

“Oh, well, uh… it’s a big deal. A baby and all that,” you say evasively. “I appreciate all your help and sorry for putting you two out.”

“Not at all,” he tilts his head at the TV, going quiet as he listens to the confessional, “you know, I don’t trust this one. He’s got skittery eyes. Like a bug.”

You almost laugh. You’re hardly paying attention but he seems to pick up every word, even as he talks to you. You chew the cracker, nearly choking on a crumb as Dottie sweeps in. She leans on the back of the couch.

“Dearie, I was just scoutin’ out a place to put the nursery and I noticed, you ain’t got no photos with Marion,” she reaches to touch your shoulder, “this ain’t no home, y’all need to warm it up. Never you worry, I’ll be talkin’ to my son.”

“Dot, really, it’s–” you begin to protest.

“Oh, if I don’t got some pictures of Marion as a boy,” she chirps, “Harlan, would you fetch my iPad thingie?”

“Yes, honey,” Harlan stands and obediently strides out of the room.

He returns as Dottie flits around the couch and you make space for her as you turn your legs over the edge of the couch. You can’t protest. You can’t bring yourself to be rude to either of them. Funny how their son drives you to the worst rage you’ve ever felt, meanwhile they can calm you with a single word.

Harlan hands over the tablet and bends to kiss his wife’s forehead, “there ya go, sweetness.”

“Thanks, handsome,” she smirks and taps her acrylic on the screen, “my hubby, genius that he is, put all my old photo albums on here. I couldn’t figure it out, ya know, I’m new and all that to this fancy interweb stuff.”

She brings down the menu and searches until she finds her files. She squints and holds the tablet closer to her eyes.

“Dot, you should get your glasses, like the doc said,” Harlan girds.

“My eyes are just fine, bubby,” she insists, “here we are.”

She brings up a picture of a young boy. A posed photo, likely from school. You barely recognise the blonde with the strawish shanks of blond hair in faded overalls. A goofy smile slants his lips as the camera flash gleams in his blue eyes.

“Oh, he was a cutie, huh?” Dottie swipes through the photos, “and look!” She stops on a photo of Lloyd in a pair of those plastic glasses with the nose and mustache attached, “seems he found his look early… now I never know why he went with the look, but he likes it, I s’pose. But he’s so handsome without.”

You hum indecisively as you watch her flip through the pictures. You peek over at her, her cheeks round as she smiles at her son’s likeness. You feel better to know she’ll be around. She’s got all the love you feel like you’re missing. She’ll make up for what you can’t give.

“I hated that suit,” Lloyd’s voice startles you as he bends over the back of the couch, peering down at the image of his in a too tight three-piece. Likely a borrowed outfit from Harlan that was too slender for his growing adolescent figure, “ma, why you gotta show her all this?”

“You were a good kid once, ya know, Mar?” She twists her head around and reaches you pinch his cheek.

He grumbles and his eyes nearly roll back. He stops himself and kisses his mother’s temple, “thanks for comin’, ma.”

“Yes, yes,” she turns and puts the tablet down, “you should be thankin’ me, boy,” she stands and puts her hands on her wide hips as she faces him, “we gotta find some paints for the nursery. And a crib, change table, a nice cozy rockin’ chair for mama, and let me tell you, you’ll be changin’ the little darlin’ too, so you start practicing–”

“Ma,” Lloyd crosses his arms, “are you done?”

“No, not even close. This is real, Marion, you can’t just throw money at a child,” she tuts as she marches around the couch, “or me.” She points her long nail under his chin, a comical vision as she’s at least a foot shorter, “I ain’t goin’ nowhere til you get it sorted. And start treatin’ your babe the way she deserves.” 

She pokes his chest harshly then grabs him by the front of his shirt. She pulls him down and whispers in his ear, a scratchy hiss you can’t decipher. Lloyd’s nostrils flare and she lets him go. He stands and lets out a long sigh that shows in his chest.

He slinks towards you, shoulders slumped, and chews his lip. He looks at his mother as she remains behind the couch, glaring at him. He juts his chin out and slowly lets himself down to his knees before you. His eyes meet yours, your forehead lined with confusion as he takes your hand in his.

“I’m sorry,” he says bluntly. Dottie growls, a warning. He nods and his cheek twitches, “Peaches, look, I’m… a jackass and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have… chased you out and I should’ve stayed at the hospital. You don’t deserve that–” his words are stunted as he peeks over you at his mother, “and I… I’m very sorry.”

He leans forward, making you flinch, as he kisses your cheek, “please forgive me.”

“Nah, don’t,” Dottie steps forward and claps her hand on the back of the couch, “he ain’t earned it yet, but it’s a start.”

You stare at Lloyd, barely able to keep a triumphant smile from dimpling your cheeks. His blue eyes spark and you sense the threat in his grip. Don’t enjoy it too much. Still, it feels good to have some back up.

“I appreciate the apology,” you let the smile break through, “I’ll think about it.”

“Good girl,” Dottie praises, “son, you could work on that a bit longer.”

“Wha–” Lloyd lets you go and stands, “I said sorry–”

“You needa think,” she points to her own head, “I’m a bout to send ya to your room like the child you’re bein’.”

“Ma’s right, boy,” Harlan says without looking away from the television, “lady deserves better than you.”

“Huh, you–” Lloyd sputters, “this isn’t fair. It’s three against one.”

“It’s right against wrong,” Harlan retorts coolly, not missing a beat, “you know you done wrong and you gotta take the flak.”

Lloyd scowls and crosses his arms like a spoiled child. He pouts in his mother’s direction as she smirks at him. She nears him slowly and pats his chest gently, “now, I’m gonna need a budget for the nursery, and your card.”

Lloyd stares at her and drops his arms, easing his stature as he reaches back into his pants pocket. He slides out his wallet and pulls out the gold card. Dottie flicks her fingers at him and grabs the wallet herself, wiggling out the black one. He doesn’t stop her as she shoves the leather back into his hands.

“We’ll go tomorrow when mama is feelin’ better,” she declares as she tucks the card into her bra, “I’m sure she could use some time outside, and away from you.”

“Ma,” Lloyd whines.

“Don’t ma me,” she warns as she comes back to you and plucks a chip up from the tray, “you can do me a favour by clearin’ out the room next to the master. That’s the one.”

“My office?” He stammers.

“You got a dozen more rooms,” she chides, “now be a doll and go make yourself useful. You got strong arms, you can manage.”

He huffs as you try not to gloat. You watch the television as his silhouette slumps away, dragging his feet out of the room. Dottie chuckles through her mouthful, “He always was a drama queen.”