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thecandywrites · 10 months ago

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Monster March 2024- Day 31- The Hunt

I had a completely different idea of how I wanted to end this Monster March. But this is what came out. And while I'm sad to see it go. I am actually really proud that I was able to keep up with it- for the most part. And to end on time? Big deal for me. And the biggest reason for that being that I told myself, that I gave myself the permission that I only had to post part 1. I didn't need to write 100k, or 10k or whatever for each prompt. Just a part one. Whether that be 10 words, a hundred words or whatever. And that's ok, that's good enough.

Ultimate thanks to to the incredible @borealwrites for their Epic Monster March 2024 Prompt List.

However, if any of these offerings- have piqued your curiosity and want to see more? Let me know.

Monster March 2024- Day 31- Free Day

Fliters

Yarat prepared himself and tried to help the others in the hunting party to enter the blackwood.

The black wood was a super dense Harokean Blackwood Forest. Harokean Blackwood only grew here and only grew among others of their kind. It was a rite of passage to be able to go in, hunt a special black antelope and come back alive, and not be eaten by anything else either because the survivors often spoke in hushed undertones of the monsters that also called the Harokean Blackwood home.

A wood so thick, that even on the brightest, cloudless day. It was never any brighter than dusk or dawn in the blackwood. And that the canopy was so thick, very few things ever got direct light from the sun, just a dark filtered light from the dense foliage. Leaving nothing but black barked trees, almost as tall as the dark- clouded sky at night, at least from Yarat’s perspective.

He felt he had done good, getting the blackest dirt he could find, to make a black mud to paint over himself with so that he blended in with the black of the rest of the forest. And many others had taken his cue of doing the same thing once he finished.

But upon reaching the end of the path that led from his settlement, to the Harokean Blackwood, he was shocked and even scared when he was greeted with a wall of- bones, sun-whitened bones of all kinds, hung from vines tied to the outermost edges of the farthest branches of the outermost trees, all around it. Had some other peoples claimed this? Because this was definitely not a natural phenomenon.

“Maybe we shouldn’t do the ritual. It is clear that someone has claimed the woods.” One of his fellow hunters murmured worriedly at seeing the bones, somehow- sun brightened white, so white that they practically glowed, a very sharp contrast of the black woods behind them. As if warning any and all who would see them- that death itself lay beyond that line.

“We should continue as planned. For now- the ritual will mean that much more and make every hunter who enters- into a true warrior.” The Priest urged before he continued with the ritual, blessing each one and their weapons before Yarat led the way, the others having to practically be pushed in to it, while the Priest and the others who had done this the year before, stayed on the other side and quickly pulled their hands back once the others were through.

“Well don’t just stand there, hunt!” The others urged before the group walked forward until, the blackwood practically swallowed them. And for a few moments- they could not tell where they had come in at or which way was which.

“We need to take time to adjust.” Yarat urged the others before he found a good spot to sit as he sat down on the ground, putting his hands to the ground to sense movement while he closed his eyes and simply opened his ears, cleared his mind and just- listened.

A few flitting birds overhead, a few gliding squirrels. But other than himself, and the others with him, nothing else that was big, nothing else was moving. But it seemed the woods themselves, almost seemed to be… breathing as there was an odd breeze, coming one way and then going the other, like the entire forest was it’s own living thing, and the breeze- it’s breath.

“Forgive me for intruding, and forgive me for then taking.” He whispered before he opened his eyes. And they began to adjust to the darker conditions, his pupil’s dilating. His vision adjusting to the trees all around him. And the forest beyond the trees in his field of vision. He saw how- one particular tree- had gotten several marks from all the previous years others in his tribe had come to do this ritual for generations.

But he saw no need to keep injuring and adding to the mark. It was more than marked the way it was. No need to add to it.

The more time he gave himself, the more comfortable he felt here. The more he was content to simply sit- listen, wait for the forest to show itself to him. No need to conquer it in mere moments. He knew he could never rush the sun’s journey across the sky and it would fall in several hours here, the way it did when they were not in the blackwood.

It was as if he was giving the forest itself, time to adjust to him just as well as he was adjusting to it.

Then, he heard a flitting, of something much bigger than a small bird. Perhaps a bigger bird, a hawk, or an owl perhaps, or he didn’t know what else.

He looked up to see the leaves move, if not by the breeze, then the larger bird flying in the treetops as he just barely saw movement, something moving towards them, in the treetops, from several directions and he watched as several larger birds began to converge on him and the group in the tree tops. He wondered if there were birds- especially inept and equipped to run along branches the same way roadrunner birds ran across well traveled roads in areas where there were no trees at all.

“The crows must be gathering.” One of them murmured as they were all now sitting on the ground but staring up at the canopy. He could feel- several- beings- whether they be animal or perhaps some kind of creature- were watching him in turn. But, while he could not see who or what was watching him and the others. It was clear they were being watched. They could feel it. To some, it was unnerving, to others, exciting- others still- simply thought it was interesting, not knowing if it was good or bad.

“Maybe- whatever left the bones- resides in the treetops, and watches us.” Another whispered.

“Maybe.” The others couldn’t help but agree.

“Come, we should find the clearing. And make camp.” Yet another urged the group, feeling unsettled by the feeling of being watched.

“Maybe whatever is watching over us- is trying to protect us.” Yarat mused.

“I don’t know, I just…I get the feeling, we are not being watched as prey, but perhaps by other predators, that are just waiting to see what we prove ourselves to be.” Yarat offered- in an attempt to keep the group from falling victim to their own fearful thoughts.

“Perhaps.” The others nodded before they stood and followed the now- well marked trees that many others from before them- had marked the trees to form something of a trail through the otherwise- still black and otherwise- indistinguishable mass of trees.

Until- Yarat heard the unmistakable sound of a blade, cutting into bark.

“What are you doing?” Yarat asked.

“Marking this year’s trail.” Drevuk answered as if that was the stupidest question one could ask before he went to mark a second tree but Yarat stopped him.

“The marks of years past are still more than readily visible. Now that this wood is marked by the bones, don’t you think- whoever put them there, will find evidence that we are now trespassing, will be able to track us in their forest with the new marks?” Yarat growled in a low whisper.

“It should serve as a mark that we will not stop coming here, and we will not change our ways, and are not scared off by a few sun-white bones.” Drevuk snarled back as he shook Yarat’s hold off and made the mark twice as big as previous times, making the trees weep their white sap- that upon touching the air, began to turn a light pink and would turn red- like blood before they turned a dark brown, something- subtle but still different than the dark black of the bark. But now- was seeming to practically weep and bleed- that much harder and it was a huge white- tainted pink- sap all over the tree at eye level before Drevuk spitefully put his hand prints in the sap and on the trees too- in defiance as Yarat just shook his head at Drevuk’s arrogance.

Yarat though, could not tell if it was a stiff breeze now rustling the trees above him, or perhaps a hiss of one of the beings that were watching them from above.

“Fine, then I will keep myself far away from you. So that should this wood get justice, I will not be harmed by being too close to you.” Yarat spat before he moved so that instead of seeing markings on both sides of the “trail” he would only see the signs on one before the ones that were much more scared than him, soon took up behind him, for they too- agreed with his reasoning.

“You’re all a bunch of cowards. You’ll be picked off first for being seen as weak and being outside the main group.” Drevuk sneered.

“We will have to wait and see.” Yarat answered calmly before he went to speak to the others behind him.

“Stay close, keep an eye out for anything that you can think of to orient yourself with. And keep your hearing as sharp as your arrows, spears and blades.” Yarat urged them as they nodded in understanding and agreement.

It was the youngest of the group- a boy, Mufam- that Yarat felt was still a few years too young to go on this rite. But he was only one of a few boys born in his generation. And the three of them, would be too small a group to survive- should they wait for their own rite. So- the extra large group was all grouped together. Yarat’s sister Luhaiah had already grown affection for Mufam, the youngest of them, and coincidentally one of the ones who was now behind him.

But Mufam’s noise of understanding had Yarat pausing and turning to him as his eyes trained on the roots of the trees.

“What?” Yarat asked.

“The trees, their roots- they point in five directions. A north, an east, a west, and two to the south. That would indicate- that this area receives stronger winds from the north- more than anything- if the trees need two blades of bracing on the south.” Mufam explained as Yarat could only smile proudly.

“Very well observed Mufam.” He praised with a pat on his back as - again, they kept hearing fluttering of wings above their heads. There was no doubt that those in the tree tops were following them, keeping a perimeter around them on all sounds, like at any moment, they could fly down and form a rough circle around them.

But, as long as they didn’t harm Yarat and especially the younger ones behind him, he was more inclined to leave them alone- and in peace.

Mufam seemed to preen at Yarat’s praise and commendation. And that left the other younger ones to keep a sharp eye out for anything else of use and value that they could point out. It gave them something to look for- instead of fearing the feeling of being watched.

“I see shadows.” Ryzo whispered to the two other younger ones.

“Where?” Yarat asked in a low murmur, content to keep with the younger ones, while the older ones who were not closer in bond or family to them, were content to stay on the trail and continue on ahead.

“Watch. Just as we move from the roots from tree to tree, there is a slight shadow that flits forward on our peripherals, from the tree’s branches, where one tree’s branches outreach towards the others. It stays in rhythm with the flits of feathers.” Ryzo whispered as they stood still and instead saw how, there was- just a flash of a barely perceived shadow, between two trees- following the end of the other group.

“When we were one group, they moved in unison, and with a single flit of wings, the circle moved with us. But now that we are two- there are now- two flits of wings, two circles, overlapping.” Ryzo whispered as they could see and now hear- as there was a smaller group following them, but a larger group following the others.

But the hissing, could be heard, and low growl, almost felt - in the smallest of their bones- which was odd- when Drevuk would mark another tree.

“We should camp as far away from Devruk as we can tonight.” Mufam breathed to Yarat who nodded silently as he urged them to keep as quiet as they could- to keep hearing and listening and move as quietly through the black wood as they could.

And once the two groups had seemed to catch up- it was one flit all around them. All in unison.

It was here, that Yarat could focus on, not just the old marks on the trees, but count the shadows that weren’t even quite perceptible to the other, older group. Or maybe, they just didn’t care to see and take note of them.

Yarat’s older brother Xeda- had not returned last year and had been one of the lost. There was always at least one or two that were lost. Sometimes, as many as half the group. But seeing as their tribe’s numbers were starting to dwindle, it was why- a stay of only a single night- instead of days or even weeks long stays in the years and decades and generations past. And so these three younger ones, were precious indeed. And Yarat felt he needed to prove that his family’s bloodline was worthy of respect in the tribe by surviving this, and- hopefully, if he could keep the younger ones safe and preserve them, he felt his tribe would have hope for the future. And could only hope that they would hopefully have many sons themselves someday. Who would also- look with keen eyes, listen with sharp ears and understand signs that others were ignoring or didn’t think were important to take notice of.

Then- something seemed to fall from the trees and landed- right on Devruk’s head.

“Ugh!” Devruk groused as he reached up and grimaced when- there was a sticky slime- like a big- bright green booger- like the trees had hurled snot from their noses at him!

“You look like a snail!” Dega laughed at him as Devruk tried to throw this snot, but it was stuck to him! And instead slinged back right into his face.

“That would make a good glue.” Yarat mused as he couldn’t help but chuckle as Devruk’s attempts to get the sticky substance off of him were proving futile.

“Help me take it off- you hand fuckers!” Devruk barked.

“Hell no. I don’t want my hand stuck to my cock for the rest of my life.” Ryzo teased as they left him there to try to wipe it off on anything and everything around him. But to no use, just like a snail slime- it soon slid down him and off of him after a he managed to use a fur to get most of it off. But the moment he got most of it off on the fur- it was clear- the fur itself was ruined and would be practically impossible to wash away. And so he had no choice but to leave it- balled up- at the base of a tree after hurling it there in anger.

However, it seemed one of the flits in the back- did not flit with the rest and it wasn’t until they heard an actual rustling, like something was skittering down the tree as we stopped and just barely saw- the shadow of a movement- in the back of the tree from where Devruk had thrown the ball of fur and sticky slime at the tree before the noise was heard as it skittered back up.

“Go, go see what the flits are.” Yarat urged the smaller, younger and quicker ones who all scrambled to run over and look- just to see a blur and flash of the fur, as if whatever had come down to get it- carried back up- behind them.

“The flits took your fur!” Murhat revealed before the group circled back to stare at the empty space the fur had once been thrown into and then looked up to see no trace of it- anywhere, nor was there a trace of the flit that took it.

But, the longer the goo was on Devruk- the more started to stink- to the point that most had to move to the other side of the trail, away from Yarat and his group but away from Devruk who grew even more angry that he was marked and the stench was so bad, many had to pinch their own noses to keep the smell from making them sick before flies- out of nowhere- swarmed him as the group had to keep an even further distance from him- simply to keep unmolested by the flies, or sickened by the stench.

It seemed Devruk’s example was enough to teach the others- to not mark any more trees. And instead could continue to just walk- outside the trail.

The flits couldn’t be heard over Devruk’s cursing and the buzzing of flies. But, the feeling of his judgment by the forest- for harming it- was felt and it was obviously- being delivered and soon- he was left behind, and was so distracted by the flies, that he completely lost track of the trial- before he- out of frustration- just dropped everything and began running- like a wild man- through the woods, yelling and screaming before the rest of the group re-convened back in the middle of the trail, only to hear Devruk’s screams practically move erratically and fading away.

The group could only shake their heads, knowing that to try to chase after them, would be the last anyone would see of either of them.

The flits continued to stay with the group- all the way to the campsite- a lone clearing, a circle in the otherwise super thick wood- from a fallen tree, that the tribe had cut back all saplings of others to grow in it’s place. The saplings- providing all the wood they needed for a lone hut- and a firewood.

Once the group made it there, the flits seemed to disperse around the circle, settling in the trees on the edge. The group readily reclaimed the hut, cut down the saplings that had grown in the year before. As- the grasses were reclaiming the clearing like a carpet. A luxurious lushness now under their feet.

The air- felt much lighter here as the wind- now could dip down from over the tree’s canopy to come down and swirl around the clearing. And in the clearing- the flowers, scattered through the clearing, were blooming, blessing the air with a sweetness and a pleasantness. And, yet, Yarat could still discerned that the wind did indeed come predominately from the north.

The grass though? Was how they could bait the black antelope, and kill one and bring it back out again.

It used to be- that the first kill was a sacrifice- the second- was for sustenance, the third- proof of their prowess and proof of their success with the rite.

But- as their numbers dwindled, and as their prey- too dwindled, Yarat- could see nothing but overgrown grass. Flowers, at all stages of budding, blooming, fading. Nothing- now was eating the grass. As he feared that they now- had no black antelope to kill. And while they would stay in the wood for the night. They might have to come back- empty handed.

That is what happened last year, the group came back- empty handed, their numbers lessoned, new fears unlocked, new experiences- practically burned onto their minds and memories, and took many weeks, and months before they were ever comfortable with being in the dark again.

But Yarat was determined, to not be one of them. He had spent- many nights- alone in dark woods before, faced his own fears of darkness. Faced his own fears as if they were monsters of their own, the same way he had faced the sorrows of losing a brother to this same rite the year before.

Yarat did what he could to clean things up from the way nature had a way of decaying things over the year. He did what he could to use some fallen branches and foliage to repair the roof of the hut. To retie the straps that would hold the cots up as many were eager to get the best cots, closest to the fire, farthest away from the doors, away from the walls.

But something that he does see- is the same pictures- of the other hunters, dangerous creatures- the very beings that tended to pick off different members over the year. With names, as terrifying as the bits of their form that are seen by the ones that aren’t picked off.

Usually, though, they would have killed a few things to have for an evening meal. But because of Devruk’s antics, there was no game at all. It looked like the group was most likely going to go to bed hungry tonight. But hopefully, they would be able to sleep, just a few hours, if they wouldn’t be hunted from their beds.

The Hunt was just beginning.

#Monster March 2024 #Monster March 2024- Day 31- Free Day- The Hunt

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sweet-s0rr0w · 3 years ago

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I was going to come up with my own Valentine's Day reclist, but then I thought about those fics that I find romantic and how subjective it all was, and I decided to ask a few friends and fellow hardcore Drarry fans for recs.

And then things escalated. A lot.

But I'm not even sorry, because the resulting list is just fantastic and features everything from the purest fluff to the most hardcore kink, from humour to serious angst (and MCD), from teeny micros to 100k+ fics, from fics written years ago to stuff written in the past few months. So here I present thirty different answers to the question 'what one or two fics, or scenes, or quotes, represent peak Drarry romance to you?'

Featuring answers from me, @avenueofesc, @bonesliketambourines, @corvuscrowned, @floydig, @fluxweeed,@fw00shy, @graymatters, @hogwartsfirebolt,@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm, InnerLilith, @ladderofyears,@lqtraintracks, @maesterchill, @moonstruckwytch, @nv-md,@onbeinganangel, @opalesqueopioid, @peachpety, @pennygalleon, @phoebe-delia, @pineau-noir, @shealwaysreads, @shiftylinguini,@skeptiquewrites, @softlystarstruck, @tackytigerfic,@teacup-tai,@the-sinking-ship, and @xanthippe74

I didn't allow duplicates BUT those fics which did come up more than once are in red. I also allowed a few people more than two if they asked very nicely because I'm soft like that don't @ me.

***

@avenueofesc

💗Grounds for Divorce by Tepre (E, 122k)

Choking on his heartbeat, Harry came in close. He fit his body to the line of Draco’s back, a hand to Draco’s hip. His forehead to Draco’s neck. He smelled like himself, still, so much like himself, and the memory of him collided with the solid presence of him. Harry puffed out a breath — a short sound from the back of his throat.

Draco leaned back into it, then out — turned, put a hand to Harry’s chest, holding him back.

“You’ve been making love to me,” he said, “all night.”

@bonesliketambourines / m0stlyvoid

💗What We Pretend We Can't See by gyzym (M, 131k)

Harry frowns against his pillow, and then props himself up on an elbow so he can look at Draco properly. As honestly and deliberately as he knows how, he says, “And what if what I want is to be with the mad bastard who nearly kicked my door down at 6:30 in the morning over a Prophet article? What if I like that you’re obsessive and intense and, yeah, Draco, really rude a lot of the time? What if the last thing I want is to calm you down?”

@corvuscrowned

💗Wild (orphaned, E, 92k)

“I have learnt, over the years, that nobody ever gets what they deserve,” he said, and even to his own ears he sounded torn apart by the words, “But if there is one person on this planet that should, then it would be you. And you would have everything you’d ever wanted. And I’m so sorry, that you were ever unhappy for a day in your life, because you shouldn’t have been, because you’re wonderful. And I am so sorry that I ever caused you a single second of distress.”

💗the unfixed by @efkgirldetective (M, 16k)

"The only solution thereafter is love. Perhaps in that place there is peace—or, at least, equality; or just a great soundless blue. Survival. If the bodies are to be buried, one day, they must first be aboveground, and held; philosophized and doubted and loved. Stupid, physical things. Tongues wrapped up in other tongues. Rivers thinking of water."

@floydig

💗The Old Ways by @fw00shy (G, 366 words)

Some days, he wakes wheezing, stumbling out of bed. Running, running—worried the old fear’s finally caught up. Scared that he’s returned to his old ways. Sometimes, Harry says, “go back to bed”, like it’s a problem. But mostly, he doesn’t say anything. Mostly, he goes back to bed.

@fluxweeed

💗Talk to Me by saras_girl (T, 16k)

(the whole fic)

💗Back to You by @aibidil and @daisymondays (T, 8.6k)

Malfoy, the sneaky bastard, wiggled his fingers and managed to slide his fingers in between Harry’s, interlocking them together.

Harry was pretty sure that for a few seconds he forgot how to breathe. He was holding hands with Malfoy. He was holding hands with Draco Malfoy. He, Harry Potter, was holding hands with Draco sodding Malfoy. Except it wasn’t really Draco sodding Malfoy anymore, just Malfoy, whose hand was warm and smooth and slightly calloused from flying. Harry liked holding Malfoy’s hand.

@fw00shy

💗A Ceiling of Stars by @skeptiquewrites (M, 3k)

They were dating now, but maybe there had not been enough afternoons spent watching him until the truth of it pressed against his ribcage.

💗Second Chance by @shealwaysreads (G, 2.1k)

“I didn’t want to be an Auror. I wanted to be with you.”

@graymatters / theartfulldodger

💗Knead by @jovialobservationanchor (E, 83k)

(i get such a warm feeling thinking about it... I cannot pick a scene to save my life. It's sucked me back in, the whole thing.)

@hogwartsfirebolt

💗halcyon days by @the-starryknight (T, 1.4k)

“Divine,” Harry whispered, looking back up at him, falling into those eyes as he had done every morning for what felt like a lifetime.

@ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm

💗GOODNIGHT FROM YOUR FUTURE HUSBAND by GallaPlacidia (NR, 14k)

“Sometimes I suddenly remember who we are,” said Draco, “and how unlikely this all is.”

💗Friends At Last by @letteredlettered (E, 8.7k)

“I meant for me,” Draco said, his hand moving on Harry’s cock, not so methodically now. “You’re perfect for me. You’re mine. You were made for me.” No one had ever said anything like that to Harry before, perhaps because it was a nonsensical thing to say. Harry had been made for a goddamn prophecy, or because his parents loved each other, or some kind of accident; Harry didn’t know, maybe all three. He certainly hadn’t been made for this breathless, excitable person above him, most of whose life had been one huge fucking mistake after another, this goddamn mess of a man who never seemed able to express himself in a semi-normal way. Harry wished he’d been made for him. He wanted to be nothing other than this moment, this moment in which he was loved and adored with this warm person on top of him who liked him well enough to say such a thing.

InnerLilith

💗Knuckles by @shealwaysreads (E, 3.5k)

("the care and love and trust they have for each other comes through so clearly and that is very romantic imo")

💗A Young Wizard, In Love by @moonflower-rose (E, 21k)

(the whole fic)

@ladderofyears

💗Even Children Get Older by @lou-isfake (M, 4.5k)

💗Unspoken Affection by @janieohio (M, 2.6k)

(two fics which I hold incredibly close to my heart)

@lqtraintracks

💗Siren Call (It's Not Love) by @the-starryknight (E, 1k)

"It’s not love, Draco lies to himself. It’s not love, he thinks, but when Harry pulls him in close, they kiss like it is." (I love this getting back together fic that Draco fully believes is not what this is about. It's so tender-painful and sinfully hot, and my heart aches for it and them.)

💗In The Red by @bixgirl1 (E, 46k)

We’ve found balance together. Neither of us ever feels owed or indebted; there is always a surplus. Every drop of blood Harry’s given to feed me and further my pleasure is paid back by my dedication to prioritising his. Every year I last to prolong his life is reimbursed by the joy he brings me each day — in ways too abundant to count. (This entire fic is a love letter to Drarry in that way that only Bix can do. It just catches on my heart and pulls every time I reread it.)

@maesterchill

💗Through the Window, Clear Skies by @tackytigerfic (M, 1.4k)

"They didn't talk about loving each other, of course. Neither of them was good with that sort of thing, and anyway Harry had always been better at doing. And Draco, well Draco didn't trust the word love. It always meant the wrong things, before. He said it once though, when Harry was about to go out in the snow for the papers, and was carelessly muffling himself up to his eyeballs in Draco’s old school scarf. Draco had kissed him on the mouth right through all the layers of green and told him crossly, I love you, and again with another kiss, the outbreath of it muggy through the wool, I love you, Harry, like Harry was somehow at fault. But he sounded like he meant it."

💗amid this warm and steady sweetness by warmfoothills (E, 21k)

(all the Jane Austen romantic gorgeousness)

@moonstruckwytch

💗Telling the Bees by @cibeewastaken (M, 32k)

“Have I made you think you were anything less than fundamental to me, less than the basis of every movement I make every single day?”

💗it all starts here by @softlystarstruck (T, 2.3k)

(the ending is just so warm and so sweet and feels like being on a sundrenched roadtrip with someone you love)

@nv-md

💗Let Me Have You and I'll Let You Save Me by Frayach (M, 6.1k)

Harry nurtures the yearning for Light in people whose instincts are Dark, but he’d sell his soul for just one kiss from a Death Eater’s son. Draco nurtures the greed for power in the corrupt, but he’d denounce Darkness and give away every cent of his fortune for just one kiss from a Mudblood’s son.

💗Like the Son Holds the Moon by @lou-isfake (M, 49k)

He remembered Draco, and re-remembered, over and over. The taste of him, the way he moved, the way he held their faces close even when they weren’t kissing. The craving for him, the intoxicating heat—he felt like Draco was burning off every weight Harry had been carrying, engulfing him in a liberating flame until he was only himself again.

💗the making of things by @drarrymybeloved (G, 989 words)

Harry is so open with his affection, dropping kisses on cheeks and hands and lips, curling two fingers around Draco’s as they walk side-by-side, shoulders brushing in a hushed conversation. The kind of love Draco has known before Harry has been at-a-distance-love, and love that hid behind snark and cool facades. But Harry, oh, how he loves. He loves with his lips, soft words and softer kisses; he loves with his hands, gentle and solid and strong; he loves with his eyes, luminous green like leaves when sunlight passes through them.

💗The Next Twenty-Four Hours by saras_girl (M, 3.4k)

You kiss my eyelids and they sting, knowing that no one will ever get the chance to see how gentle you are capable of being. You’d probably never want to show them, anyway. And I know that none of this is really about what I’m going to lose, but if I think too hard about it any other way I’m afraid I might lose my mind.

@onbeinganangel

💗the moon between my hands by @softlystarstruck (M, 3.7k)

“We bonded through nightmares and insomnia.” Harry presses her forehead hard against Draco’s. “We’ll be alright. Turn around, I’d want to hold you.” “I’m too tall to be the little spoon,” Draco protests weakly. “That’s bollocks.” Despite Draco’s claims, Harry is right; she fits around Draco’s back perfectly, slotting their knees together as Draco curls into herself. Harry presses soft kisses to the prominent bumps of Draco’s spine, eliciting a content hum.

💗The Bolthole by GallaPlacidia, Tepre and aideomai (E, 54k)

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” said Draco, then opened his eyes, looking concerned. “Are you all right?” Harry nodded. “Are you crying, or is it the rain?” asked Draco. “I was scared,” said Harry. Draco reached out and brushed his freezing thumb underneath Harry’s eye. Harry didn’t mean to but he turned his face and pressed it into Draco’s palm, his beard prickling at Draco’s skin, Draco’s long fingers tenatitive on his cheek. Harry drew in a long breath. He swallowed. He pulled back and took the tea towel off Draco’s face. Draco was staring at him.

@opalesqueopioid

💗For Thine is the Kingdom by @kedavranox (E, 67k)

"I used to wish I didn't want you so much." Draco trails a line up to Harry's collarbone, and Harry trembles beneath his touch. "That's a terrible thing to say. I love the way you want me." He clutches the towel at Harry's waist. "Can I kiss you?"

He takes a car back up to Charing Cross to head to the Leaky Cauldron, but on his way, he spots a bouquet of white lilies sitting outside of a charming flower shop and thinks of Harry.

@phoebe-delia

💗Letters Through Time by JulietsEmoPhase (T, 5.7k)

(the whole fic)

💗Operation: S.M.W.L.N.T.E.T.H.S.P by XxTheDarkLordxX (T, 5.3k)

(especially the last scene. the tension, the romance, culmination—just everything)

@peachpety

💗Silver Bells by @vina-writes (T, 2.5k)

Fuck, he was going to die here, with nothing but three tubs of ice cream to garnish his frozen corpse. He was going to get a Santa-themed murder, and everyone would call his case something dreadful, like the Holiday Homicide. Worse, he was going to die in the ugliest fucking outfit he’d ever worn and every crime scene photo taken would have his godawful cardigan and hat in it.

💗Model Behavior by Chibaken (T, 4.2k)

“Harry loved Luna. She was kind and effervescent and smart and creative and generally one of the purest, loveliest human beings he’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. He looked over her now, eyes drawn to the dress she wore — covered in live flowers every color of the rainbow — and smiled. “No way in hell,” he declared.”

@pennygalleon

💗freely, as men strive for right by @bixgirl1 (E, 17k)

“I’ve got too many ideas and zero experience.”

“Tell me your ideas,” Draco murmured, the brush of his lips just under Harry’s coaxing another excited twitch from Harry’s cock, “and I’ll show you how to do them to me.”

💗By The Grace by @letteredlettered (T, 140k)

“Potter, you fool,” Malfoy muttered. “My body doesn’t know how to make a cell that doesn’t love you.”

@pineau-noir

💗Six Time's a Charm by @caroll-in (T, comic)

(the whole thing is a rom com but the last panel is so tender and perfect)

@shealwaysreads

💗handsomer & handsomer still by @fw00shy (NR, 151 words)

(a perfect short)

💗As Easy As That by @moonflower-rose (E, 4.9k)

(made my heart all clenchy and warm)

@shiftylinguini

💗Slip Into My Lover's Hands by @lqtraintracks (E, 5.9k)

(such a glorious vibe... SO romancey...and also insanely porny)

@skeptiquewrites

💗Market Saturdays by @sorrybutblog (M, 3.3k)

“The anticipation makes the payoff sweeter,” Draco responds, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Do you think so?” “I know so,” Draco says, rolling over and boxing Harry in beneath him. “Some things are worth the wait.”

💗Sourdough by@academicdisaster24 (M, 17k)

‘Yes.’ Harry said it so simply, and Draco tugged him back down, arching towards his mouth and Harry met him there, hand behind Draco’s head, and Draco’s mind - always whirring, always chatting, always spiralling - went peacefully, perfectly quiet.

💗Sweeten to Taste by bigblackdog (E, 51k)

(every single dish in Sweeten to Taste but starting with the buckwheat crepes)

@softlystarstruck

💗Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass (G, 4.9k)

“Draco,” Harry said. “I—I adore you.” Draco let out a shaky breath. “Even if it wasn’t to court you,” Harry swallowed, “even if it wasn’t—I would have given you all those gifts. They made you happy. I just wanted to see you happy. And you don’t have to—give me an answer, if you don’t want to. Whenever you’re ready—if you’re ever ready—I’ll always be, I’ll always—” Draco leaned in and kissed Harry on the mouth.

@sweet-s0rr0w

💗Modern Love by @tackytigerfic (E, 61k)

It's all Harry can do to keep quiet. Having Malfoy touch him like this—having anyone touch him like this—feels like too much. No one has ever laid hands on him like this, with such focus, like he’s the only thing that matters. ... Malfoy is probably the most lovable person Harry can think of, it turns out—he just hadn’t known it before. And in the end, it was just a case of Malfoy deciding to let Harry love him, that was all. Once Malfoy made that decision, there was nothing Harry could have done.

💗That Old Black Magic by @bixgirl1 (E, 78k)

Harry took in the sharp angles of Draco’s profile. “That’s not why.” He nodded and forced a smile to acknowledge Ron, who was now waving at him like a lunatic with both arms over his head, like he thought Harry hadn’t heard his bellow. Harry swallowed, tired of pretending. “It’s not because it’s Saturday. I’ll want you tomorrow, too,” he said, rending himself stupidly bare, and heard Draco’s breath catch as they went in together to fill the last two seats at the table, one at each end.

@tackytigerfic

💗Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

(it's so cleverly set up - we can see the romance arc from both ends, so to speak. The line "“You can, rougher, if you like,” epitomises that balance - it only makes sense in context but it is so very much about their romance and the way they grew together in love.)

💗Dangerous by @sweet-s0rr0w (T, 1.1k)

(the ultimate in established relationship with a twist. ..."the way his body starts to shift, automatically, to accommodate Harry in his bed" makes my heart clench. Follow that with "Are you getting in or not?" from Draco, and later, “Draco.” Harry’s voice is steady and sure. “There’s no-one else. I’ve tried, believe me, but it’s true. And I think maybe it’s time to stop trying.” Exquisite yearning and a sense of pining for each other and what they could have together, even when they are together. Devastating.)

💗I, Ferret by curiouslyfic (T, 2.1k)

(an epic lifetime of love in 2k, the ultimate romance. "Harry worries then, because this feels brilliant, too, and brilliant things just don't last in Harry's life" and yet we have the privilege of getting to see just how long this brilliant thing does last for them - " And death won't us part… and he can't breathe, can't think, can't speak, can't move, because Draco's giving him forever. Harry's never had forever in anything. Can't believe he'll get it in this. Good things never last in his life, but this will. This will. Draco's promised…" Never fails to make me teary!)

💗Oxygen by @maesterchill (T, 4k)

(i'm such a sucker for hard-won, grown-up love. I love how tired they both are, how hard they work, how they're willing to shape themselves around the other's life. And the line with its dual stresses: "When I look at you, Malfoy, I see you,” he says. “I see you.” Romance for me is a lot about making space, tolerating, making decisions, working at things. And this fic has all those feels, while still making me believe in the magic of true love.)

@teacup-tai

💗Kaleidoscope by saras_girl (E, 104k)

(in love and not knowing how to tell my auror partner I'm in love)

@the-sinking-ship

💗dirtynumbangelboy by@magpiefngrl (E, 39k)

“Harry’s grinning at him, pale and tired and windswept, but radiant with joy. He offers the Snitch to Draco. ‘This is yours. I got it for you.’ An audible awww from the spectators reverberates around the stadium, as Draco closes his hand around Harry’s palm and kisses him. Harry’s lips are freezing cold, and Draco’s doing his best to warm them up with his own lips and his tongue. His white shirt and designer jeans are getting all wet from contact with Potter’s soaking uniform, but Draco doesn’t stop. He kisses Harry until he has no breath and then he kisses him some more.”

@xanthippe74

💗Still Life (orphaned, M, 3k)

(every sentence makes my heart hurt in the loveliest way)

#drarry #valentines recs #i'm going to have a little lie down now #don't mind me #this got out of hand #as usual #ss recs #sorry for any broken links #also thanks tacky for the rec of my fic #you never listen to me you bastard (affectionate)

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missbaphomet · 2 years ago

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oh yea those individuals sure suck i wonder what they all have in common:) you can never know if a male is gonna be a creep or a danger like them so that's why we're scared of them all and our fear turns into hate. it's literally not that hard to understand?? yes, women can be dangerous too but no woman has ever been that disgusting to me. no woman has ever catcalled me or whistled at me or creeply followed me or any of my girl friends. no woman i know has ever seriously made "women should go to the kitchen" jokes or inappropriate sexual comments about other women and their bodies or made rape jokes (unlike literally all the men i know btw). my male classmates used to secretly take pictures of female classmates and teaches' asses whenever one of us bent over and posted them on this now deleted instagram account. no woman i know has ever objectified other women like that. anyway i know all the bodies there are from women killed by males because i read news that tell the whole story once they're found + the only men found dead there died because they couldn't swim or fell down. and im from italy btw where we hear about femicides happening everyday fr it's deeply heartbreaking idk how you can just pretend like it's not real. men get killed too, of course, mainly by other men and not for the same reason women are killed. and they kill themselves more often only because they use more effective ways to die than women.

What they have in common is that they were rude to a person on the street, hope this helps.

Maybe don't assume everyone is out to hurt you? The overwhelming majority probably won't realize you exist once you leave their peripheral vision. This is some severe victim complex shit, and you're justifying it with fucking Star Wars of all things. You do realize that the end of that quote states that hate leads to suffering, right? It's a fucking warning. Also, great job lowkey accidentally comparing radical feminism to fascism... but let's be real, radical feminism is fascism lite™

Just because it hasn't happened to you doesn't mean it hasn't happened. My girl friends in high school used to make jokes about that kind of shit, and I'm sure plenty of others have as well. And if (big fuckin if) "literally all the men" you know make jokes that make you uncomfortable maybe you should just. Not know them? I have had a lot of guy friends and I can think of only one of them that was genuinely a dick.

I feel like this is a lie tbh. Seems awful convenient that there's not any evidence, and it's super easy to make false claims. If it happened, damn, that sucks bro, sounds like a couple students were shitty but it's not like anyone can verify.

Also now's probably a good time to mention that "femicide" doesn't mean "woman killed by a man for no reason." It means "a woman was killed because she was a woman." If her sex was not the motive, then it wasn't femicide. Even if 100% of those you mentioned did happen to be killed by men, unless explicitly stated that he killed her for being a woman, we really don't have any way to know. The distinction is important here, because that would be the difference between a hate crime and simple murder. Also that's a pretty bold claim that the men were only drownings and falls, especially when you immediately turn around and state that men get killed too. And once again, men are more likely to be killed than women per the UN's report of .57 per 100k for men v .37 per 100k for women, which works out to 570 v 370. I am genuinely surprised how close it is, but these are overall homicide rates and I can only look at the numbers. I don't live there. @femmebisexuelle maybe you have some insight here?

Suicide ≠ homicide. Congrats on the argument that men are better at killing themselves tho?

#baph bleats #asks

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lululawrence · 3 years ago

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hello!! i was wondering if u had a werewolf tag for fics? i would search it but not sure how to use tumblr that well :)) if not do u have recs? LOVE U HAVE A NICE DAY<333

hi babes! i don't have one here... damn that's a fucking great idea. hahaha i'm HORRIBLY unorganized when it comes to tags for fics on tumblr. i mostly use ao3 for the organization of fics. so! that said, i defo DO have recs for you!

you didn't specify pairing, which makes me smile because i get to rec rare pairs in addition to larry and hope you read them hehe okay, here we go!

He Carries The Key by me (8k, NR, niall/louis) - this fic is the only one of mine i'll include, okay? promise haha but it is also one i wrote for wordplay just a week or two ago and it's werewolves and a pack fic and i just had a lot of fun. very soft. much fluff. many feels. i hope you enjoy. lol

There's Fur Everywhere by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (4k, G, Harry/Louis) - this is a 5 times fic, and it's HYSTERICAL. it feels slightly spoilery for me to even be including it on this list, but also... it's still fucking hilarious. emmu is queen of the crack fic that makes you feel all the soft and wonderful things, and she doesn't disappoint with this one.

I Hear Them Calling for You by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic is... not for everyone. like at all. please please please read the tags and the summary and if you don't like it or it makes you uncomfortable, then close right out of it. as for ME i loved what she explored with it, all the emotions and the story and worldbuilding of it all. i thought it was fantastic and incredibly interesting. it is A/B/O, pack fic with claiming and... yeah. it's amazing.

Campus Creatures by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything and @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld (25k, E, Harry/Louis) - werewolves! vampires! fae! university! frat houses! science research positions being vied for! enemies to lovers! like... not sure what more you could ASK for, but there's also a fuck ton of humor and nudity and sexual tension and... it's just a lot of fun. can't go wrong, really. haha

From What I've Tasted of Desire by @evilovesyou / 4ureyesonly28 (72k, T, Harry/Louis) - okay so i'm including this one even though like... harry and louis aren't werewolves. but it's a twilight au, so there ARE werewolves and i'm ASSUMING you know twilight and therefore know that means you know they're pretty involved and... that's true for this fic too. ahha for real, though, i love evi's writing and this fic was one of my first introductions to it and it was a fun read, so i wanted to include it in case it had enough of the werewolf flair to entice you haha

Compete Against the Stars by @daggerandrose / amomentoflove (31k, M, Harry/Louis) - omg okay so this one is like ANGSTY AF and i FUCKING LOVE IT because it's one of those fics that you HOPE you have figured out, and you probably do, but also there's SO many twists and turns to it all that you just have NO idea how it's all gonna work out and omg are they gonna just ruin it all for themselves by being stupid and ahhhhh the tension of just FIGURING OUT HOW THEY GET IT ALL TO WORK OUT!!! and of course it does. hahaha but HOW??? this is a RIDE and in my mind feels like a longer fic than 31k in the best of ways, they did an amazing job of packing a LOT of world building and storytelling into those 31k.

the straight for your heart (wolfpack au) series by foreverkneeld and foundfamilyvevo (96k, T/G, Multiple or No pairings including Niall/Louis, Zayn/Liam, OT5, and Shawn/Niall) - This series is the ultimate hurt/comfort and healing pack fic series omg. it was recommended to me when i was in a super hard time and my anxiety was so bad i couldn't focus on anything. These short fics that all focused so much on healing and found family were exactly what i needed. so so soft, so lovely. I still haven't read them all because i'm saving them for when i need them. they're glorious.

when the air ran out and we both started running wild by darlingjustdont (48k, M, Nick/Louis) - OMG OKAY LISTEN THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVS. a tomlinshaw werewolf pack fic?! ahhhhhhhhh i was SO happy when i discovered this one. louis is alpha of the pack and things are... shaky, shall we say. there's a lot going on that he's worried about and then he meets nick and it's kind of enemies to lovers? okay, more than kind of. but omg the FEELS. SO. MANY. FEELS. but also danger and a;lsdgkhas;ldfkja just please read this and rave with me because i don't have many i can talk about this one with and i LOVE IT.

You Smell Like by mystic_believexx (185k, M, Harry/Louis) - i had no idea this fic was so long hahahaha wow ANYWAY louis is human, but he's always been close with harry and therefore basically a part of his pack. but then one day harry leaves and louis kind of accidentally becomes the pack alpha. even though he's human. but there's SO much more to it. there's just sooooo much with the friendship and the pack bond as well as the danger and trying to figure out what the hell is going on... it's just a LOT and one of those epic fics that i still think about even though i read it...a year and a half ago i guess. but it's amazing and i highly recommend it if the word count doesn't scare you away haha

Canyon Moon by @eeveelou / delsicle (41k, E, Harry/Louis) - this is a lion king au, made a/b/o werewolves! i really enjoyed this one a lot, actually, because i could absolutely see the parallels, but also the way it was adapted made it so it wasn't always obvious how it would all play out. it was a really interesting and cool world building as well.

The Truth I Can't Explain (Smoke and Mirrors) by @fallinglikethis / FallingLikeThis (9k, M, Harry/Louis) - ohhhhh this one is SO cool cause it's by tabby so she made it incredibly fun and fascinating to try to figure out. there's magic and mages and werewolves and feuds and they're basically on the eve of battle and holy cow it's just SO cool.

One Touch Is Never Enough by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything (4k, E, Harry/Louis) - once again lauren delivers and there's just so much i keep giggling about with this because it is SO fun. there's a lot that louis is dealing with in this fic hahaha and the way she writes it all is so funny. the poor man just wants a fucking massage! lololol it's lighthearted, humorous, and basically filled with fluff, crack, and smut. hahaha

Knot Safe For Work by @jaerie / jaerie (6k, E, Harry/Louis) - a;sldkgha;lfdkjas listen i forgot about this fic until i found it in my bookmarks for werewolves because jenna writes so many fucking amazing fics that when i think of werewolves, i think of at least two others first, but i could NOT do this rec without this fic because now that i remember it exists i am going to have to go and read it again! hahaha harry's a werewolf, louis is a wizard, there's knotting dildos and table sex and... just read it. lolol

Saving's What I Need by @jaerie / jaerie (17k, M, Harry/Louis) - writer louis is out for a drive one day and he hits a dog. THIS POOR DOG! he takes it to the vet and tries his best to take care of it... but things are not as they seem. because yeah, harry is defo not a dog. lollllll this fic was hilarious and sweet and omg there's just so much to love about it. there were so many more emotions in it than i expected. loooove!

Out of the Wild by @jaerie / jaerie (22k, E, Harry/Louis) - this fic has such fun world building, which is actually a huge strength of jenna's fics and you'll hear me rave about it with all 50 of her fics that will end up on this rec list (not really 50, but ya know lol). louis is a fairly wild and undomesticated wolf and harry's from the city and they end up as roommates during the x factor process. oh my word this fic is so fun because of all the challenges they're going through PLUS the wolf side of things and just... the way they work together and navigate it all as well as falling for each other is pure gold.

Out With The Old, In With The New by, you guessed it, @jaerie / jaerie (7k, E, Harry/Louis) - listen, just. this one is smutty as hell and it's gonna take you some places that some people will be uncomfortable with, which is totally valid and fair. please be sure to read the tags and make your decision on whether or not to read accordingly, but also know that its written in a super interesting way that is also pretty amazing if you do decide to give it a shot. lol

Instincts by @marastarfar / StarFar ( 100k so far - it's a WIP!, T, Harry/Louis) - omg listen. i LOVE mara's fics so much and when this first posted it was a one shot little thing that was FASCINATING. i loved it! and then i was happily surprised when i learned more was added to it. and then it was turned into a wip and omg i am so far behind now but i trust mara with my life because i love everything i've read by them and what i've read of this so far is INCREDIBLE so just. yeah. lollll

There's a Power in What You Do by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry (7k, T, Harry/Louis) - i just read my comment i left on this one and it was just mainly me begging for time stamps because there wasn't any way for her to improve upon the perfection of this fic (nesting! softness! even a silly comment in her endnotes to perfectly cap it all!), but i still wanted to remain in the story just a bit longer and learn more about them. hahaha anyway, those time stamps aren't happening, but this fic is still complete perfection.

amaryllis by @hattalove / hattalove (147k, E, Harry/Louis) - for a long time this was thought of as THE werewolf fic. if anyone was talking about a werewolf fic, it was probably this one. is that still the case? probably. i'm not sure. ANYWAY. there's a REASON it was THE werewolf fic and that's because this is amazing. it sucks you in and you feel like you're truly a part of the action. it's filled with the vibe of found family and wanting to figure out what happened while also adjusting to your new life and just... so many feelings. so much angst. SO fantastically epic.

#fic rec #my fic rec #werewolves #werewolves fic rec #love me a good werewolf fic mmhmm #i think i'm missing some of my favs #at least one by jenna #cause it might be tagged shifters instead of werewolves #i guess those are slightly different huh #anyway #i'll leave it here

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inevitably-johnlocked · 3 years ago

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✨When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity✨

Hey Nonny!

Ooof this got lost in a bunch of stuff! Sorry about missing it! Only remembered it because I saw a similar ask on my dash hahha.

Seems like a good day to do this, since I'm so tired and exhausted and I need something to make me smile.

Dragons. Just everything and anything with dragons. I'm fascinated with them. If you buy or make me anything with dragons, I automatically love you.

I finally bought myself my iPad I've been saving up for for *literally* 3 years. Because I was saving up for a trip this year that I am no longer taking (was planning a 40th birthday trip to Disney, but now am not going to Florida at all until they get their shit together), I took some of that money also to buy it and bought a top-of-the-line one, the best I could buy at the local Apple store (1TB, 12.9inch Pro... you don't want to know how much it was :|). I love it so much, and it's nice to use it to get off my laptop. I mostly was prompted to buy it now because it was my 40th birthday gift to myself AND my Wacom driver kept crashing my laptop and I'm scared to reinstall it hahah.

Funko Pops. I LOVE them and hate them. I only collect ones from series and shows I like, but I have WAY too many of them that most are in storage right now. I want to get my own home soon so I can display them finally. I am constantly checking the app for upcoming Funkos, and then immediately check my local toy store for their preorders. My local toy store must love me, I have SO much on preorder right now.

Drawing and writing. I'm alright at both, but I've terrible imposter syndrome so I feel like I'm not good at either, mainly because I don't get much traction on either when I post. I've a few people who always help me get it out, but I these days I do it for me, because it makes me happy.

Video Games. Currently playing AC Valhalla, and I LOVE it so much that I ended up buying the Season Pass. I RARELY buy DLC. But the game was SO good and I wanted more, so I needed to play the expansions. PERSONALLY it's my fave of the new trilogy, and because it's a "current" game, it's always got new stuff. Love it. My fave game EVER is Kingdom Hearts 2. I love the story of it so much. Skyrim is a close second – I like Skyrim because I put in over 200 hours in ALL versions I've played, and still there's so much I have to do hahah. AC New Trilogy is third. I liked DA Inquisition but never finished it, and I still have a bunch of games I bought last Christmas I have yet to play, so my list may change... it's highly unlikely though.

So there you have it Nonny! I think it's good I waited until I was in a better mood to answer this... People stopped sending me these because I was always so negative in them, I guess... I hope I get more of things like this when my asks go back on.

Can I also give you 5 things I'm looking forward to? I feel like that will help me keep a positive attitude for a bit.

My current work contract is almost done, and I'll get some downtime before I have to start my normal day-job again. Looking forward to my weekends back.

My broken foot seems to be healing REALLY quick. Yesterday was the first day I woke up without it hurting, and today I've been able to hobble around on my heel (as per my doctor's instructions that I need to start doing once my foot stopped hurting). I'm optimistic that I'll be given the okay to drive again during my next appointment on the 30th. I am going nuts not being able to leave home on my own accord.

So in Canada, we have this thing where you can take out your RSPs tax-free for three things: Retirement, First Time Home Ownership, and Second Education. I set up my RSPs WAY back when I was making piss-poor salary about 10 years ago, and I wanted to make sure that I at LEAST could have SOMETHING when I retired. I recently discovered I maxed out the amount of money I can take out for First Time Homeownership in my RSP, so my plans to home ownership are looking more and more realistic. I just wish owning a home wasn't so expensive where I live (major city in one of the most expensive provinces in Canada). It's hard when you're single-income. Here's hoping that I can make it a reality soon. The idea is a condo, I just have very expensive tastes (safe-neighbourhoods apparently justify a 10,000$+ more in cost :/) so I keep saving into my various accounts and GICs that I set up after I finally was making a liveable salary, so as long as I keep being humble and living below my means, I can finally get what I save up for... if only the cost of housing would SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. It's gone up 100K in just a year. It's insane.

I also saved up enough for a new couch thanks to a second contract I took during my CURRENT contract, which paid me exactly enough for the couch I want to get (I may or may not have strategically negotiated that contract, LOL). I've been needing a new couch for years; the one I currently have, I have sentimental attachment to (it was my dad's and is over 20 years old) but working at home for almost 2 years, I've worn it out and it's SO VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. It's barely staying together. Looking forward to getting it :) ... Was waiting until cooler months since I have to put it together myself (IKEA) and my apt is SO hot in the summer, no way I can do it then.

Having my asks turned back on. I'm sorry, it sounds so cheesy and dumb, but I don't have many RL friends or connections, and you guys help me stay positive and help keep my negative thoughts at bay. The dark thoughts have been coming in a lot lately, to the point where I've convinced myself that no one missed me and no one cares, so it's helped having a few of my regulars and mutuals check up on me in DMs during all this. Thank you <3 I don't always reply back, but your love is appreciated <3

Thank you again Nonny for asking me this <3 And I hope you don't mind I answered more than you asked <3

#steph replies #positivity #chatting with nonnies #happy posts #about me

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castielmydarling · 3 years ago

Text

this is me trying

Castiel wakes up in The Empty this is his chance to get back to his family. To Dean.

so Im not really a writer lol but Ive been with dean and cas from the beginning and I really wanted to contribute to the 100k fics so here it is. on ao3

“Cas...”

Castiel jolts awake. He looks around seeing nothing but darkness. It only takes a second to remember what happened. He remembers Dean looking up at him from the floor where he threw him to safety. A mild look of shock and confusion colors his face. Maybe even some sadness? Yes Castiel suspected Dean would be sad that he was gone but he would also be alive which was the important thing.

Castiel remembered The Empty coming for him. Enveloping him in darkness to pull him in to his final resting place.

Or so he thought.

Once again he’s awake in The Empty when he shouldn’t be. Castiel gets up and starts walking. Much like last time he doesn’t see anything. It feels like he’s walking forward but without being able to see anything it’s impossible to know what direction he’s going in, if he’s making any headway at all. He reaches out around him but feels nothing.

It all looks the same but something is different. Something is wrong. He stops to concentrate on tries to focus on what’s so different this time.

Noise.

Castiel opens his eyes with sudden clarity that he’s surrounded by noise. He strains to listen but can’t make anything out. Muffled voices, he thinks, and wings maybe?

“Hello?” he calls out “Is anyone there?”

Castiel continues walking forward. Calling out for help. For others he knows would be there like Gabriel and Balthazar. Even tries calling for Meg but still no response. The voices are getting louder but he still can’t make anything out.

After walking for what feels like days he stops in his tracks with a sudden pain in his chest.

“Cas…”

He looks around. That sounded like…no impossible. He’s overcome with a sense of grief and despair.

“Dean?”

Castiel starts running with determination to get out. Before he was walking aimlessly without a real sense of direction of where he was going and what he was doing. He knew he was supposed to be here. He made a deal that he intended to keep so he wasn’t exactly trying to escape.

But now? Now he had to get out.

He continues running when suddenly he hits something solid. He stumbles to the floor in pain.

“There you are.”

He looks up. It looks like Meg but he can sense the difference.

“Why is it always you?” it buzzes around him clearly stressed.

“I didn’t do anything. I was holding up my end of the deal just fine when I woke up. I didn’t know why then and I don’t know why now.” Castiel stands up rubbing his head.

“You. Your son. The Winchester. Same difference. I’m awake because of you and now everyone is awake because of you!” The Empty walks around him frazzled “All I want is silence and sleep!” She continues walking around in circles muttering about bombs and it being loud.

“Then send me back!” Castiel pleads “If all this started because of me then get rid of the problem!”

“And let you negate on your deal?” The Empty shakes its head “No no no you can’t keep doing this!”

“I kept up my end!” Cas yells. He takes a deep breath “Whatever Jack did I had no hand in it. He knew about the deal. What it meant to me to honor the terms. Whatever he did I don’t think it was intentional.”

The Empty laughs “Oh blowing up a bomb waking everyone up wasn’t intentional?”

Castiel pinches his eyebrows “I have no idea what you’re talking about. As I’ve already told you I was here. I woke up. That’s it, that’s all I know.”

Castiel groans “You sent me back before. Can’t you just send them back? Send us all back then you’ll get the peace and quiet you so desperately want.”

The Empty looks around defeated. “This isn’t right” she grumbles “you should be mine, they should all be mine!” She whines.

Castiel tries to keep the hope out of his voice “Ok and we all will be again. Eventually.” He takes a step closer to The Empty “But is it really worth it trying to keep us here now? It’s loud and it’s only going to get louder. All you want to do is sleep right?”

The Empty nods her head furiously.

“Then the only way that is going to happen is if you let us all go.”

The Empty throws its hands up in defeat. “If that’s what it takes to finally get some peace and quiet then fine. I’ll let you go.” It says bitterly “And one by one you’ll come back and I’ll make sure none of you ever wake up again.”

“That’s fair” Castiel says earnestly.

“Oh not you” laughs The Empty.

“What?” Castiel asks unable to keep the fear out of his voice “but I thought…”

The Empty looks at him in anger “Don’t worry your pretty little head. You’re getting out with the rest of them but you won’t be back. I’m done trying to keep you here. I will not be waking up a third time because of you.”

Castiel can’t hide his smile “for what it’s worth I am sorry about all this” he says sincerely.

The Empty laughs humorlessly “Just get out” she says defeated and tired.

A flash of light erupts in the darkness. It’s so bright he can’t help but close his eyes.

Castiel keeps his eyes closed. He’s afraid of what he’ll see when he opens them. Will it be darkness? Was The Empty just playing with him? Or worse, did it release everyone but him?

He opens his eyes and looks around taking in his surroundings. The bunker. He sees the chair in the middle of the room, his blood still dry on the door. It looks darker now.

Suddenly he feels that pain in his chest again.

“Dean.”

Castiel opens the door and runs towards Dean’s room. He has no idea what day it is or the time. He doesn’t even know if Dean is here but it’s a start. He hesitates at the door. Slowly he knocks.

“Go away Sam. I’m fine.”

“Dean” Castiel calls out “It’s not Sam. It’s me.”

“Great” he hears muffled through the door “now I’m hallucinating.”

Castiel opens the door. Dean is at his desk slumped over. Papers scattered all over it and the floor. He raises his head.

“And now my hallucinations can open doors. Maybe Sam was right, I do drink too much.” He drops his head back down.

“While I’m sure Sam is correct you are not hallucinating Dean.” Cas slowly walks over to him. Lightly touches his shoulder. No blood to stain him this time. Dean jerks his head up.

“Cas?” he says weak “Is that really you?” He pushes the chair stumbling to stand up.

Cas steadies him. “Yes Dean, it’s really me.”

Dean falls into his arms clinging to him like his life depends on it because in a way it does. Cas holds him tight keeping Dean grounded. He can feel Dean mumble something into his chest.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that.”

Dean leans back just enough to look up at him. “I said I don’t even care if this is a hallucination” Dean looks at him sadly. He moves to bring his hand up like he wants to touch his face but stops. Dean looks scared as if touching his face he’ll break whatever this alcohol grief induced hallucination is and he’ll lose everything again.

“Oh Dean”

Cas reaches for Dean’s hand bringing it to his face. Dean’s eyes slowly change from scared to hopeful. Cas presses a kiss gently to his hand.

“I’m real.”

Dean drops his head squeezing Cas against him. “We are.”

#supernatural #dean winchester #castiel #deancas #destiel #destiel fic #my small contribution to the 100k cause

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sakura-haruka · 4 years ago

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Mike aka captainpoe is talking shit about me so let me get things straight.

He’s gonna do screenshots of what will makes him look like the victim, like he always does so you will have to believe me on my words (since I coun’t found our conversations by pm) but most people who know me or I've been following me for a long time know that I usually stay out of the drama. Big thanks to my friends for telling me what he was doing behind my back like the adult he is.

3 years ago Mike started following me, I was back then a small blog and I thought “wow a big blog is following me!”

He started to talk me and really fast told me to send him my edits by messages and I did! he also reblogged me on his mcu blog (and his sw blog too... I think).

I was really stressed with a big exam around July and I became obsess with EVERYTHING, I was a true pain in the ass to everyone. I’m not gonna lie. So yeah I also became obsess with my Tumblr notes, I did gifs to relax but it was not working very well back then. my behavior was childish and I apologized to him after!

(He accused me of wanting to be reblogged on his sideblogs, it’s true, but it’s natural to me to reblog everything that people send me or tag me in on my sideblogs, I sincerely don’t understand people problem with reblogging on sideblogs things ).

When he got harassed on here, more like called out (it was actually around the same time I was a dick) he asked me to take his defense and to reblog a post he made, he was basically whining about how he was the victim and never harassed anyone, he sent me messaged telling me that he was a married man in florida and never did anything against the once upon a time fandom, wasn’t homophobic and meh meh meh... Back then I believed him because he was the nice guy who was helping me getting notes in the MCU fandom. He used me, after talking to other members I realized that I wasn’t alone.

I WANT TO APOLOGIES TO THE POEPLE I DIDN’T BELIEVED BACK THEN. I KNOW WHO HE IS NOW.

He started being aggressive but nothing worriedly when TLJ came around, it was a real little thing but I wasn't shipping Rey x poe and I felt like it was problem for him that I wasn’t shipping them. I didn't thought too much about it but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth, I wasn’t talking a lot to him after that.

When I had problems and got hate on my blog he didn't do shit to help me.

I was still sending me my edits because... Notes. I can’t lie about that, like every creators here I want my edits to get notes.

I think we haven’t talked for a verrrry long time, I was sending my edits that’s it.

Last year he asked me to join my GOT blog, after all the reblog he did for me I thought It would be really bitchy to me to not add him as a member. But I also noted that it was funny how he joined both the B99 and the GOT fandom once he realized that it was very popular.

He did edits on the blog so no problem at all, until s8 ended. I’m like everybody, I hated that season but when someone join my sideblogs, especially my got one, I am very clear about the no hate rule (I had problems with that on this blog before). But he thought that since he was popular he could do what he wanted, I deleted the two first he reblogged, one of them was calling people to harass D&D and I hate what they did but as someone who has been victim of bullying at school and still suffer from that I was disgusted by what he posted but I haven’t told him anything since he’s really popular and I didn’t want to create any drama... I have a life so I finally forgot about it.

My laptop broke and gosh, I really understood who he was at that moment! I sent a messages to all the members of my sideblogs asking them to keep the blogs active while I can’t, normal stuff for an admin. I had my tablet with no photoshop... spidey got “fired” and like a lot of other people I thought about that scene in iw where Tony told him “you’re an avenger now”, lucky me I have already made that gifset before so I took my tablet and just reposted my own gifset, it took me so long because I had to convert it back to gif format because of Tumblr... Anyway, later he sent me a message accusing me of having copied him and I haven’t seen his gifset so told him exactly that. He then accused me of doing that ALL THE TIME with endgame and I told him “listen bro we’re both using the same 30 seconds YouTube clips that marvel gave us”, like 20 other people (they were not a lot of people because that channel was weirdly unknown), it’s true that I was doing them after him but it’s just because I have a life and cannot always do gif, I make them when I have time. He also basically told me that I must be rich for having replaced my laptop that fast, I haven’t, I was using my tablet but even if I did replace my laptop, mêle toi de ton cul ( I have no English expression coming to me ).

I really understood who he was then.

He totally stopped making edits for my got blog, because it stopped trending so it wasn’t interesting him anymore.

a few months past and I think the only thing he told me is that he was scared of clowns... Literally.

And then the BIG ONE, I know he was a douche but omg. Mike asked me to reblog ALL his posts on a sideblog I'm only a member of. He told me that the admin have blocked him because she was shipping reylo and well reylos hate him because he’s posting shit on them , they were a huge misunderstanding then (because i’m French and I may not have explained myself right) , I told him that I wouldn’t reblog him if the admin didn’t want to see his posts on the blog, he was blocked! and I was, at the same time, talking to another member of this blog who is a close friend of the admin and she agreed with me. he was very insisting and I told him that the admin was checking what we add to the queue and would certainly delete his posts, it was the big misunderstanding that could have hurt the admin of the blog, I just meant I know she checks what’s happening because she told me when I don’t tag a post with the right tags, it’s just what a good admin (unlike myself) does. I also told him that it was a new blog with “only” 14k followers, he must have something like 50K followers sooooo, and that his edits were getting 100K notes, more than anybody here. He became... I have no words to describe that. He told me that it was a dictatorship if I couldn’t reblog what I wanted, and that I should leave the blog, I stopped answering pretty fast after that.

In our last conversation I was vulgar. (it’s in the post he sent to my friends), he really need to get over it, I’m French and from Normandie : I am vulgar! wtf. It’s also the last thing he ever posted on my game of thrones blog. It was a Sunday either two days after after the last star wars movie came out or ten days ( I don’t remember if he waited a week or not) but he reblogged a text post from his blog sending hate toward the writers of both got and sw and spoiled the entire Star Wars movie on my game of thrones blog, which was “the drop of water that caused the vase to bleed” like annoy me all you want but when people goes on my got blog they don’t want to be spoiled, it was so rude and mean and that post had nothing to do there and it was at least the third time so I told him to “fucking stop” and since mr thinks he is the king he went all “you can’t talk to me like that” “I'm an adult” meh meh meh. I told him to never go in France ‘cause he wouldn't like us. And it was the last time we spoke. Nothing to do directly with me but I would never do what he does to get notes, that man he’s ready to use any big events such as pride or women’s day to get notes. I do make edits for those events too but I'm actually a bisexual woman and not an heterosexual man and I really don’t think he’s doing those edits to show his support to those movements but just to get notes, this year he did the same thing with blm movement I thought it was disrespectful at best, he even made the famous “I we burn you burn with us” gifset from the movie and no, just stop dude. Making that gifset of Naya before she was even found was awful, a lot of people are doing gifs to feel better about things but I don’t think it would have came to anybody else mind to have it ready in their draft. It actually make me think of myself because after they died I made a gifset of Carrie Fisher and Stan Lee and in my head it was a tribute but now that I think back about it I wouldn’t make gifset when people dies anymore, I said it once again but in my head it was a tribute to those wonderful people life and work. I did to feel people and myself a little better in those situations but it didn’t makes me feel better. I thought about it even more, especially for Carrie, because I couldn’t stop thinking about Billie and losing my mom is the worst thing that could happen to me. You can say that, at the end, Mike makes me realize something.

He has been calling out for his behavior but instead of facing it like an adult he just want to take people down instead of him, I'm one of them and I certainly won’t be the only one. it’s someone who doesn’t know how to face the consequences of his behavior and still think he’s untouchable, me and one of my friend said that he thought he was the king of Tumblr and I sincerely think that in his head he is.

Sorry for the grammar I'm French and it’s almost 4 am so I'm gonna check the grammar tomorrow.

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flamencodiva · 4 years ago

Text

Getting Back to You 2 - Forgive Me

Description: Amaya Campos and Dean Winchester had a playful rivalry. what happens when Dean is no longer her Dean. Will this change make one of them realize what they really desire, or will they continue to keep secrets?

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Amaya Campos (Original Female Character) , AU Dean Winchester x AU Amaya Campos

Warnings: Language, Violence, Smut, Fluff, Angst

Word Count For Series: 100K+ words

Beta: @superfanficnatural

Book Cover by @talesmaniac89

A/N: Special thanks to - @crashdevlin @atc74 @smol-and-grumpy @winchest09 @waywardbeanie @deanwanddamons @malfoysqueen14 @emoryhemsworth @janicho88 @jensengirl83 @whatareyousearchingfordean @katehuntington @anathewierdo and to all my friends who listen to me ramble about my writing. your words of encouragement mean the world to me! Without you I don’t think I could have found the courage to come back and share what I love most to do, WRITE.

A/N 2: SURPRISE! Decided to post it early so I hope you guys enjoy!

Getting Back To You Masterlist

Main Masterlist

Amaya placed her box on the bed. She had just finished moving into the Bunker permanently, taking room 20 for herself. Being right next to Sam made things easier when Dean was just down the hall.

"Is that all you got?"

Dean's voice made her jump towards him before a small wave of relief washed over her face.

"I mean, what more do I need, right?" she shrugged. "Almost everything I own is either in my duffle or in a storage unit."

"You could always move it here," Dean offered. "How does a nice night out at a bar sound?"

"It sounds good," she breathed. "Could use the time to get plastered before beating you at another bet."

"Oh, sweetheart," Dean licked his lips before crossing his arms. "That witch hunt was just a fluke. I'll win the next one, just you wait."

"Yeah, yeah," Amaya waved him off as she grabbed a few of her clothes and made her way to the bathroom they all had to share. "I'm going to shower and change. I'll meet you in half an hour?"

"Yeah, sounds good," Dean walked with her to the bathroom and placed his hand on her shoulder, making her look up at him.

"Yeah?" she raised an eyebrow at him.

"I figure," he cleared his throat, "we can eat someplace before we get down to drinking."

"Sure," she nodded her head. "Sam joining us?"

"I'm sure I can persuade him," Dean smiled.

With a laugh, Amaya walked inside and closed the door. Dean could hear the soft click of the lock before he turned around and made his way to Sam's room. Running a hand across his face, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. The witch hunt seemed a little too easy for his liking. Lifting his fist, he was about to knock when Sam abruptly opened the door.

"No," was all his brother said.

"You don't even know what I'm going to ask," Dean argued.

"You were going to ask if I would come out with you and Amaya," Sam crossed his arms and leaned on the door frame.

Dean scoffed and gave his brother his best bitch face, "Was not. I mean, eventually, I would have, but I was going to ask if that witch hunt seemed a little too easy."

"Yeah, sure," Sam shook his head. "When it comes to the hunt—" Sam rubbed his hand across his stubbled cheek, "I'm looking into the incantation the witches were chanting. So far, I've been able to translate part of it."

"So, what were you able to translate?" Dean moved aside as Sam walked out of his room and made his way to the kitchen.

"Not much," Sam grabbed the notepad from the kitchen table as his eyes looked over his writing. "What I've translated so far is," he gave a slight squint "’We call upon the ancient powers, to hear our call, feel our power. Across time and space, let the souls switch.’"

Dean raised an eyebrow at his brother as he thought about the words, "’Let the souls switch?’ Which souls?"

"I don't know, but I'm going to keep looking into it," Sam grabbed a mug and poured himself a drink. "Dean, just wing it, or pick up a chick and have fun with Amaya like you always do."

"Sam," Dean sighed, "You know why I keep my distance. This life—" he ran a hand across his face, "this life is not easy, and the last thing I need is another stain on my soul. I don't need guilt when I can't protect her."

"She's not like your other loves, Dean," Sam pointed out. "She's a hunter. She was born a hunter. We’ve known her our whole lives. Dean, she's a legacy like us." Sam grabbed another folder he had out on the table and showed it to his brother, "Her grandfather was a Man of Letters just like ours."

"What?" Dean found the name of Amaya's grandfather highlighted by Sam, with a detailed explanation of his death.

"So just like our Dad," Sam sighed. "Amaya's dad lost his dad the same way. He was killed by Abaddon."

Dean swallowed the lump in his throat at learning the information. He looked at Sam; he knew his brother was right. Amaya wasn't like Cassie or Lisa, she was a hunter; she knew the risks, knew what the job entailed. Then again, so was Jo, but unlike Amaya, he remembered Jo came in late into the hunting game. She may have been a hunter, but she hadn’t really lived the life long enough, and could he really see his best friend and rival get hurt in his arms? It was bad enough when he was keeping his distance, but in revealing his feelings he felt it would just make it worse. He was already worried about her, how much would that change if he let himself feel what he'd been bottling up? Besides, all three of his relationships had something in common: they’d all loved him, and he loved them. In some form or another, he brought bad luck upon the many women he loved.

"Hey," Amaya's voice cut through his thoughts as the sound of her heels echoed in the kitchen. "We ready to go?"

Dean felt his breath get caught in his throat at how she dressed. She stood in her skin tight jeans that hugged her legs with a tube top and fishnet shirt combo that showed off her toned stomach and her perfect breasts. Her leather jacket hung on her shoulders as she stood to almost Dean's height in her four-inch black heels.

"Uhhhh—" Dean lost the use of his voice as he looked at her. His jeans felt a little tighter as he imagined peeling off all of her clothes.

Sam walked up and slapped Dean upside the head, making the older man glare at his younger brother.

"Dean's ready to go," Sam took a sip of his drink. "I'm staying in to try and make sense of the spell that the witches were conjuring."

"Oh Sammy," She walked over to him and gave him a gentle pat on his cheek. "If you don't use it, you will lose it."

Dean chuckled, the sass coming from Amaya snapping him out of his daze.

"She's right, Sam," Dean rolled his shoulders and winked at Amaya. "You don't use what you got, it might just shrivel up, much like all the rabbit food you don't eat that ends up going bad."

"Hey," Sam frowned as he gave Amaya his bitch face. "Just because I don't go out with you two—" he pointed to his brother and Amaya, "doesn't mean I don't get any. I just know how to keep you two from finding out."

Dean cleared his throat and adjusted himself. With a roll of his shoulders, he walked up to his brother and Amaya.

"Well, let's leave Sammy here to keep hitting the books," Dean said as he put his hands in his pockets. He stopped himself from touching Amaya, scared that he would do something they would both regret.

"Lead the way Dean-o," she chuckled, giving his shoulder a slight punch before standing aside to let him walk first.

Back in the other Universe, Henry Winchester surveyed the damage done by Hecate. He looked at his grandsons, who were assessing the best course of action. With a deep breath, he walked over to them.

"It seems this was all planned out," Henry said as he placed his hands in the pockets of his suit as he walked towards the trio.

"We are sorry, sir," Amaya apologized immediately as she stood straight, ignoring the feel of the sticky liquid seeping through her clothes.

"Amaya," Dean's voice sounded surprised as he saw the large gash on her side. "Infirmary, now."

"I'm fine," she waved him off as Henry came closer to them.

"Amaya—" Dean began.

"Dije que estoy bien," she growled and looked at him. "If anyone should be in the infirmary, it's you. You have a large gash on your head and multiple lacerations on your arms and chest."

Dean had to smirk at what she noticed. They had been hunting since they were both sixteen, thrust together at the academy they were both now instructors in. Looking at his grandfather, Dean could tell the old man was not in the least bit angry. This was just another curveball in the hunting game.

"Both of you head down to the infirmary and have Eileen look after the pair of you," Henry ordered be for he turned his attention to Sam. "Is there anything from the video feed from before we stormed the warehouse that we can use to investigate?"

"I have my team looking into it," Sam said as he looked around. "So far, they were able to stay hidden from the camera angle. I have no idea how that happened."

"I need you to work on it while they recover," Henry sighed and looked between Amaya and Dean. "Speaking of recovering—" he used his cane to walk over to them. "You two, infirmary now! I am going to be grounding you from hunts until you heal completely."

"Yes sir," they echoed. Both of them giving each other a slight glare.

A few hours and a couple of stitches later, Dean and Amaya had made their way to their apartment, where a happy German Shepherd greeted them.

"Zep," Dean warned, "Down."

The dog gave a slight whine as he stopped his motions and laid down by the couch.

"That's our good boy, Zep," Amaya praised as she gave the dog a generous pat on his head.

"You going to tell me why you refused to head to the infirmary when I told you to?" Dean asked as he grabbed a beer from the fridge, looking at his fiancée.

"Easy," she said and gave him a slight shrug. "I was perfectly fine. I was more concerned with you and the fact that we are now dealing with a goddess."

"Amaya," Dean sighed as he made his way to her.

He held her hand in his before pulling her to him, her body between his legs as he sat on one of the bar stools. Setting the beer down, he used his now free hand to cup her face.

"Dean," she whispered as he brought her forehead against his.

"I know you are strong, but we have had one too many close calls between us," Dean admitted and lifted his head slightly as he placed feather kisses along her face, avoiding her lips.

"Tease," she whispered before his lips crashed into hers in a heated kiss.

The world seemed to stop around them as Dean pressed her body flush against his. He would give anything to stay with her, but Hecate's words resonated in his mind. She had warned him that he had time to be with Amaya, but how much time did he have left?

Dean moved his lips down her jaw towards her ear. He nipped at her earlobe, before moving down to kiss the sweet spot on her neck. It was the one Dean knew drove her wild. He smirked against her skin when she let out a low, lust-filled moan.

"I don't ever want to lose you, Amaya," Dean muttered against her skin as he pulled her blouse open. The buttons flew across the room.

"You're lucky I have about fifty of these," she moaned, raking her fingers through his hair as he kissed down to the valley between her breasts.

His face nestles deep between them as he left open mouth kisses along her skin. Reaching behind her, he undid the clasp of her bra, freeing her bosom from its constricting grip. Amaya sucked in a sharp breath as his lips sealed around her nipple, his tongue licking as his mouth sucked gently on it. Her fingers moved from his head to his shirt. Quickly unbuttoning his shirt, she let her fingers caress his shoulder as it's removed from its owner and tossed on the floor.

"Always knew you were a boob man," Amaya teased as she pulled his face away from her chest, bringing her lips towards his in a searing kiss.

It didn't take long before Dean had Amaya wholly naked and on the island counter of their kitchen, his head between her legs, tongue lapping up at her juices. The sounds she was making were music to his ears. She was tart and sweet all at the same time as his lips surrounded her clit, sucking on her pulsating nub. Her fingers pulling at his hair just the way he liked it.

"Shit, babe," she moaned. "Your tongue feels so good. You are a damn god with it."

Dean smirked against her wet core as he moved to press his fingers into her. She was nice and warm, making his cock throb against his pants. He continued his ministrations, feasting on her pussy as she pulled at his short hairs. The taste of her driving him wild as he felt her walls flutter as her orgasm hit.

"Fuck," She cursed. Her legs quivered as Dean helped her ride through it.

Amaya hadn't come down from her euphoric high when he undid his belt and made quick work of removing his pants. Dean pumped himself a few times as he looked at her dripping cunt. The sight made him moan before he eased his tip into her.

"Shit, Amaya," he breathed and caressed her cheek before pulling her in for a kiss. "Your pussy feels so good."

"Dean," she whispered. Her fingernails scratching at his back as he thrust his hips. "Fuck," she gasped just as she felt the anticipation build-up.

"You going to cum again, Baby? Going to coat my cock with your cum?" he growled as he snaked his hand between them. His thumb found her clit drawing small circles on the sensitive nub.

"Dean," she moaned, her nails digging into his back as she fluttered around him.

Her legs shook as she orgasmed. Dean grunted and groaned as he snapped his hips, skin on skin echoing around the apartment. Zep looked at his owners, fucking on the counter, head tilted, watching as his owners moved as one. Meanwhile, Dean dug his fingers into Amaya's hips, leaving marks on her skin. She loved it when he marked her as it sent her over the edge again, just feeling his possessive nature, the sensation of him never wanting to let her go. At the same time, she pulled him close to her, her own fingers digging into his flesh, the fear of losing him surfacing in her thoughts. And yet, the sound he made as she rolled his hips brought her out of the negative haze. He felt perfect inside her, filled her just right.

Dean gave another groan as his hips met hers. His lips kissed along any skin he could reach, the smell of her lavender perfume calming him as the image of the ruble almost crushing her tried to push their way through. He couldn’t lose her, couldn’t even imagine what his life would be like without her. He could feel her walls clenching around him again and he gave one last grunt before he came, filling her to the brim with his seed. His mouth devoured hers as he stayed buried inside her until he began to soften.

"Fuck, baby," Dean chuckled. "We need to go on assignment more often."

Amaya playfully slapped his shoulder. "Going on assignment has nothing to do with our chemistry."

Dean helped her off the counter, placing her gently in front of him, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her in for another deep kiss.

"I love you, Amaya," he muttered against her lips. "If anything happens to me, you move on, okay?"

"Hey, where did this come from?" she pulled back to look into his green eyes.

"Just— just something that the goddess said," Dean looked down at the floor. "She mentioned that I need to spend my time with you wisely and—"

"Nothing is going to happen to you," Amaya held on to his face. "Sam will figure out what the witches were up to."

"This is something we've never dealt with before," Dean said as he cupped her face and caressed her cheek with his thumb. "If anything were to happen, if you can't fix it— just let me go?"

"Fat chance," Amaya scoffed. "No way in hell I am ever giving up on getting you back, Dean. Now, let's forget about this, go to bed, and in the morning we teach the future hunters of tomorrow."

Dean took in a deep breath, gazing deeply into her eyes. He could feel himself taking in all her features: the shape of her face, the way her eyes crinkled when she smiled, how her hair framed her face. He pulled her in for another heated kiss. Their tongues clashed as he lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist as he began to feel aroused again.

"Babe," she muttered against his lips.

"Can't help it, Sweetheart," he teased with a smirk "I'm hot for teacher."

The sound of her laughter filled the apartment, followed by Dean's soft chuckle. The night was spent with laughs and moans echoing in their home. Before long, both hunters were asleep in each other's arms.

Dean awoke sometime later, not able to sleep anymore. Amaya's soft snores filled the room. Looking down at her, he gently moved her hair out of her face. He smiled a bit when she leaned into his touch. He remembered when he first met Amaya. Her grandfather had brought her to the academy, she was thirteen at the time. Dean had decided that she was probably a snooty spoiled princess, but in the end, Amaya had him on his back as she straddled him, blade at his throat. It was one of his fondest memories. After that, he had tried to always one-up Amaya, but every time he found himself on his back, it made him want her even more. She was independent, smart, and always called him out on his shit. Glancing at the clock, he sighed when he realized he woke up before their alarm. Pressing a kiss to her forehead, he gently moved away from her, careful not to wake Amaya. He could hear Zep whining as he made his way to the kitchen to start brewing their coffee. As he set the timer for the coffee to brew, he looked over at Zep, who lay by the sliding glass door to be let out to their tiny backyard.

"Okay, okay," Dean groaned and gave a small smile as he gave Zep a pat on the head before letting the dog out to do his business.

Leaning against the open door frame, he watched as Zep moved around the small plot of land to find the right spot to mark. He never noticed Amaya had woken up. With Zep coming in, Dean turned to see Amaya holding out his favorite mug filled with coffee.

"I see you woke up before the alarm today," she breathed before she caressed his cheek before planting a kiss on his lips.

"What can I say," he acknowledged and gave a soft shrug. "I was anxious to get back in the classroom."

"Eso lo llamo mierda," Amaya scoffed. ( I call that bullshit.)

"What?" Dean mocked as he wrapped his arms around her. "I love my classes. The kids are into learning all the strategies for a good hunt. They’re working on what to look for when hunting a ghost. I think they're ready to move on to poltergeists."

"Really?" she probed while she raised an eyebrow at her fiancé. "Well, My advanced lore kids are already moving up to Demons and Latin incantations," she let her fingers dance across his chest.

"Well, you do have the students that tested into research," Dean reminded her before capturing her lips with his.

"Si seguimos, vamos a estar tarde," she whispered. (If we keep going, we're going to be late.)

Dean groaned. He hated it when she was right.

"Me voy a vestir," he sighed and pressed his forehead against hers. "I also have wrestling try-outs to oversee this afternoon." (I’m going to get dressed.)

"Just don't pop your stitches coach," She chuckled and gave him a playful slap on his ass as he walked back to the room to get dressed for work.

Back in the original universe, Dean looked over at Amaya as he drove them to the local dive bar. He glanced every now and then towards her. The way she bobbed her head to the music made him smile. He was finding it harder and harder to find an excuse to stay away from her. If he pulled away too much, he was risking hurting her as a friend, but if he didn't hold himself back, he’d slip up, and she could be cursed with dying all because he was in love with her.

"So," she broke the deafening silence. "How are we doing this?"

"Doing what?" Dean questioned as he shifted in his seat, driving with one hand on the wheel while the other was casually resting on the open window frame.

"Well," Amaya began and rolled her shoulders, trying to relieve the tension in them. "Que vamos hacer? (What are we doing?) Are we going to hook up with different people? Are we going to hustle some frat boys at pool? I mean, what's the game plan?"

"I was thinking just," Dean trailed off a bit and licked his lips, "drinking and hanging out."

Amaya raised her eyebrow at him, "Okay, what is going on? You usually want to have the hottest girl at the bar hanging all over you."

Dean parked the car and turned to her. He didn't have a chance to continue before she was out of the car waiting for him. Getting out, he jogged slightly towards her.

"What can I say," he sighed and gave a slight shrug. "What if, just for tonight, we stress relief together. No strings."

"No strings?" Amaya asked and opened the door to the bar and made her way to the counter. She sat on the barstool and ordered herself two red-headed slut shots for herself and whiskey for Dean. "I can handle that."

"I know it's—wait, what?!" Dean snapped his head in her direction as she knocked back her shot. "You-you are okay with what I suggested?"

"Yeah, porque no?" Amaya shrugged. "I mean, what do we have to lose, right? I scratch your back, you scratch mine. Who better to make me feel good than the meat man," she smirked.

"Oh, fuck, Amaya! You are not going to let that go are you," Dean knocked his own shot back before slamming the glass on the bar top. It was something that Dean had let slip out on a drunken tirade, he had heard it from someone and figured it described him perfectly. After all, he was a guy who did love eating meat, and then Amaya had to look up the term on Urban Dictionary and laugh at how he used it. "How about we play some pool, hustle some money and then have some," Dean licked his lips before leaning in and stealing a kiss from Amaya, "fun."

Amaya bit her bottom lip when he pulled away. Her brown eyes gazed into his green ones. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She had always dreamed of this but never acted on it. She knew the risks, but she had to keep her feelings in check.

"Bueno, que estas esperando?" (Well, what are you waiting for?) She downed her second shot and looked at him. "If we're going to do this, you need to learn to relax. Besides, it's not the first time we've fucked, remember?" she let her fingers dance along with his shirt. "Gringo, let's see how much money we can make."

Dean let out a chuckle, reminiscing about the time they had a few drinks after a celebrated wolf hunt. Three drinks turned into a make-out session in the alley, followed by stumbling into her room, then a glorious night of fucking until the sun came up. When he woke up, she was gone and left a note that said thanks for the help and stress relief.

Dean shook out his thoughts as she pulled away and walked towards the pool tables, her hips swaying. Dean tilted his head, watching her leave. He licked his lips, wondering what it would be like to have her ass bouncing on his cock. Shaking the thought out of his head, he made his way to her as they picked out the best suckers to hustle. It didn't take long to find some frat boys who were too tipsy for their own good.

"Hey Mama," one of them said, "Why don't you ditch this guy and hang out with us?"

"We can really make you see stars. Besides, you're Latina, right?" The other one interjected. "I'm sure we can make a mean salsa in the bedroom."

Amaya bit her cheek from lashing out and giggled stiffly. "Ay Gringo," she shook her head. "Dudo que vas a poder a hacerme ver estrellas." (I doubt you can make me see stars.) Amaya walked up to one of them, her knife concealed before placing it on his crotch. "The only guy making me see stars or as you put it, helping me make a mean salsa in the bedroom…" she tilted her head, "is the guy I'm with. Entendiste?" (Understand?)

The frat boy nodded while his friend seemed to swallow a lump in his throat. With that settled, Dean and Amaya wiped the floor with the frat boys making off with at least $5,000. With a laugh, Amaya and Dean made their way to the Impala. Dean pressed her up against the passenger door. His fingers found their way under her fishnet top, squeezing her hip.

Amaya moaned into his kiss, "Papi," (Daddy) she whispered. "You gonna make me feel good, Winchester?"

"Oh, it's a promise, Campos," Dean said as he gave her a devilish grin.

The drive back to the Bunker was filled with teasing and moans. Dean's cock was rock hard as Amaya teased him. Amaya's panties soaked through her pants as Dean teased her with what he was going to do to her. The minute the car was parked in the garage, Amaya climbed onto Dean's lap straddling him.

"Amaya," he breathed. "We should move this to my room."

"Y que? (And what?) Give up a chance to make out like teenagers in a sexy car?" she grinned before nipping at his earlobe. "Tienes miedo?"

"M--Mi-eh-dough?" Dean raised an eyebrow at her.

"You scared?" Amaya clarified with a roll of her eyes.

Dean scoffed as he removed her leather jacket from her shoulders, revealing her fishnet top with her tube top under it. "I'm not… are you not wearing a bra?"

"Wow," Amaya chuckled. "That's one way to distract you." she smiled before capturing his lips in a searing kiss.

"Fuck, Maya," Dean placed his hands on either side of her face. "You are as sexy as fuck."

"Tell me something I don't know," she sassed.

With a sly smile, she rolled her hips, pressing up against his erection. She could feel Dean take in a sharp breath before pulling away from her, pupils lust blown as he tried to control himself.

"I really want to take you to my room Maya, please?" He found himself begging.

"En Español," she teased.

"Campos, don't ruin the mood!" Dean growled as he reached into her shirt, squeezing her breast. His thumb rolling over her erect nipple.

"Español, Winchester," she reiterated, grabbing at his short hair, giving it a tug, earning a strangled moan from the hunter.

"Pour Fa-vour," he groaned.

"Nice accent," she teased. "Since you asked so nicely and even said please."

As quick as lightning, she had gotten off his lap and out of the car. Dean stayed shocked for a minute before jumping out after her. By the time he reached room eleven, he had found her in just her panties lying on his bed, legs sprawled. Her fingers played with her clit through her panties. Dean stood there, mouth slightly open at the sight of her fingering herself, her moans, music to his ears.

"Que esperas, gringo?" (What are you waiting for, whiteboy?) she smiled as she ran a hand along her breast, pinching her nipple between her fingers.

"Fuck Amaya," Dean pulled off his jacket and flannel in one swoop.

His hand worked on his belt before unbuttoning his pants and pulling down his zipper. By then, Amaya had shimmied out of her underwear, giving him a good view of her glistening heat. Dean had let out a low growl before licking his lips and striding towards her. His head buried between her legs as he flattened his tongue against her opening.

"Fuck, Dean!" she hissed when he began sucking on her clit. "You really know how to drive a girl loca."

Dean chuckled against her entrance before plunging his tongue into her dripping hole along with his fingers, curling them as she squirmed against him. He let out a moan when Amaya ran her fingers through his hair, giving it a short tug.

"Someone loves their hair pulled," Amaya moaned as his fingers curled and pressed on her g-spot. "Papi, dame lo todo."

"Want me to give you everything, huh?" Dean chuckled. "I'll give it to you… Mami."

Amaya gasps as he continued his ministrations. The coil in her belly snapping as she came on his mouth and fingers. Dean lapping up at her juices, making her moan and scream some more as he made her cum a second time. Amaya had just started to come down from her high when Dean thrust into her waiting cunt.

Their bodies moving as one as they swallowed each other's moans and screams in a heated kiss. They both chased their release, holding and nipping at one another as Dean's thrusts stilled as he spilled into her. Amaya's thighs shook with her own orgasm as she pulled Dean close to her body. Dean groaned as he fell next to her, holding her tight.

"That was nice," he chuckled.

"Yeah," Amaya sighed. "Sleep time."

"Night, Maya," Dean kissed the top of her head.

"Night, Gringo," she whispered.

Dean made sure that Amaya was sleeping before looking down at her. Closing his eyes, he made his decision. Dean had to keep her safe, even if it meant breaking her heart just a bit. Moving the stray hairs out of her face, he leaned in and gave her one last kiss on her temple.

"Forgive me, Maya. I just can't have you put in danger because of me," holding her close, he drifted off to sleep none the wiser at what the witches spell had in store for him.

Chapter 3

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dystopian-penguin · 4 years ago

Text

Is this a real life story? Is this a fic concept? Who knows 🤷

But here’s a very long account of... something.

This isn't a gay disaster story. It's a gay sad ending story. It's a gay "self-homophobia is very real and realistic” story, and not in the "gay panic is kinda cute" way.

It all started 14 years ago (yes that long), when I was still deeply in the HP fandom and even more deep into reading James/Lilly fics in ff.net all day long. For the first time in my entire life I decided to sort by “all works” and not just “completed”. I know it might sound super silly, and even a bit cliche considering this is tumblr and we live and breath fics, but that single decision literally changed the course of my life. And unlike what I usually do, I am not exaggerating. I found this one fic that must have had, like, 20 chapters and almost 100k words and dived into it without looking for rocks in the bottom. Long story short: the last posted chapter ended on a huuuuuge cliffhanger, like the very next moment after the kiss, and it left me completely destroyed.

So I did what I always do, what I am known on tumblr and my small social circle in here to do: I went to scream at the author.

But I wasn’t content to just scream in the comment section, oh no. For all I knew the bitch wouldn’t even see it, the last update had been from like 8 months previously. So I stalked her ff.net profile and found her MSN email. Yes, the story is THAT old.

My literal first words to her must have been something akin to “OH MY GOD I HATE YOU SO MUCH”, which yay for the beautiful poetic irony that the universe crafts at times. She took it in stride because, let’s face it, a shitton of people had already greeted her like that by then. And we started talking, and it was easy and fun. We had a lot in common, more or less the same type of interests, the usual you’d expect if I had met her on tumblr even. We must have talked like 3 hours straight on that first day, and I left feeling pretty good cause I had made a new friend. Not only that, but right off the bat I admired her so much. Not only because she was talented as fuck (imagine writing a 100k unfinished fic at only 15 y/o), but also because the more I talked to her the more I could see just how fucking cultured she was and how intelligent and ect. She came from a wealthy family and such a different reality from me. She had been abroad, in fact she usually travelled abroad with her family like twice a year, she was fluent in english even then (at that point I was I intermediate at best), not to mention german because her family was german. She was 15 (a year older than me back then) and trilingual and could write wonderfully and I was fascinated by her instantly.

Something else worth of note was that her profile pic on the day we met had been set to a close-up of a blue eye. I must have asked on that very same day whose eye was that because damn if it hasn’t been the prettiest blue I’ve ever seen. I mean, I hadn’t told her that, but I was curious enough to ask. And as everyone and their grandmother might have guessed by now, it was hers.

Somehow (and I truly don’t know HOW), we got into the habit of talking every day, or at least very close to it. I got to know about her daily life, just one state south from where I live and sooooo much colder than what I had ever experienced. She went to a swiss school, fully bilingual, was the first in her year in the IB program which for the love of crap I didn’t even know it existed back then. Might not ever have known if I never met her. Eventually we exchanged phone numbers, and back then SMS messages were like 1,50 bucks for inter-state ones. Our mothers were not happy.

Around a year and a half went by this way. She became my best friend, my rock. We both had a shitton of problems in your high school lives and in our family lives, and we were so relieved to know there was someone out there we could share those with. In the meantime she ended up breaking up with her boyfriend, ironically just a few months before I had my very first kiss. When she broke up with her boyfriend she was absolutely devastated (they had been together almost a year or so), and relied on me a lot back then. Which I was more than happy to support because for the first time in my life I felt like I belonged somewhere. I felt like I was actually part of someone’s life. I didn’t feel like I ever bothered her, like I was ever intruding in her life. I felt like I was truly part of her world, like she actually remembered my existence when I was not around, and at now-16 years of age that had literally been the first time I had felt that. I never had a true friend before her. Not sure I ever did after her either.

On easter 2008 we finally convinced our moms to let us meet. Her family had a whole goddamn country house with a huge plot of land, so it was decided I was gonna visit her first. So I got semi-sedated and got into my first plane ride EVER, and for those of you that are reading this and know me (although I doubt anyone is reading at all), you know how terrified of planes I am. You know how BIG of a gesture it is for me to get into a fucking plane for the first time in my life for a person.

I already knew she was pretty. I mean, we had talked on the webcam a couple of times before (just a few times because the internet back then was really terrible). The blue eyes I mentioned, and the most fucking beautiful silky blonde hair you’ve ever seen. But when I saw her the first time on that airport it still took my breath away. Even more, what truly surprised me, was the huge smile she gave as soon as she saw me out of the gate and she rushed to hug me. I was paralyzed. I mean yes I was happy and hugged her back, which was a huge deal because back then I was not touchy feely at all (and she was VERY). But I was paralyzed. Because I had never in my entire 16 years of age seen anyone smile that big or that brightly at seeing me. Hell, I suppose I had never seen anyone smile that brightly at all. As the day progressed she was so legit happy that I was there, and I could never fully wrap my head around it. We drove to her house and her mom took the long way just so they could show me all the interesting spots in her city, and she shared tidbits of her daily life that I still didn’t know, despite us being so close, because those are the things you only learn by actually being next to the person irl. Later on she introduced me to her two best friends in school, and we all decided to watch a horror movie.

Yes, it’s THAT cliche.

Now, you see, I’m absolutely fucking impervious to horror movies. Yes I get jumpscared just as much as anyone else, but I don’t get scared. So I was sitting there a bit lowkey bored, narrating the entire plot of the movie and what would happen a few scenes before it did because the movie was just that easy to guess. And she had taken complete ownership of my left arm the entire time, being half super scared and half impressed I could guess every single thing on the plot. Later on she apologized for not letting go of my arm because she knew I wasn’t as touchy feely as she was, and I was once again taken aback because I come from a ridiculously touchy-feely country and NO ONE ever apologizes for it or respects my boundaries on it.

The next day we wake up bright and early to go to her ranch-thingy. She slept on top of me on the car almost all the way there. I must have woken up like a whole hour before her but didn’t move at all.

I’m a city slick. I’m a huge city slick, through and through. Which means I am both fascinated and absolutely terrified on any plot of grass bigger than a garden. And her country house was fucking amazing. I had only experienced the true freedom of being in nature a few times in my life, and she made sure to show me every nook and crane of the forest surrounding it. Because yes it was a forest and not a jungle like where I lived, and that made it all the more magical.

But the truly one magical thing in the entire 4-days weekend was the stars. You see, I am absolutely in love with the stars. It’s stupid to say something like this when I was retelling the greatest love story of my life, but the stars are my one true love. I got my first telescope when I was five years old. My mother cannot for the life of her explain where I got this obsession from. She always said I was already born that way. So I find myself for the first time in my life with the least amount of light pollution I’ve ever been subject to in my entire life (even nowadays). For the first time in my life I has actually been able to see the Milky Way with my own two eyes. And what made everything even more impressive was that it was a full moon, and the night sky still looked as incredible as it’s supposed to look. Honestly it might have been a great contender to the beauty of her blue eyes.

The moment I remember the most is us laying down on some beach towels (no idea why they had those in the countryside), stargazing for hours at end. By then we were two full states to the south of mine, so I believe the technical definition of what I was feeling is fucking freezing my inexistent balls off. I had gotten dressed in just some jeans and a tshirt way before the sun set, and I was dammed if I was gonna interrupt our stargazing to go put on some decent clothes. I remember her asking a few times if I was cold, and I also remember myself lying through my teeth saying I had gotten used to it by then. Blatant lies, my nipples could cut through fucking glass at the moment. But I wasn’t gonna interrupt it because it was just the two of us on a grassy clearing, her family was at least 200m away and we couldn't even hear them anymore and it was just us and the stars and her hands were so close to mine that I could feel the heat (the only source of it for my beach-town ass I suppose). It was the perfect fucking moment. The moment most people dream of having their entire lives. I have no idea how long we stayed there, but it was a few hours for sure. Her mom had to call us back inside, and nothing broke my heart more. We talked about anything and everything. I told her what I knew of astronomy and I could see for the first time I was fascinating her with knowledge. Because I had always felt and will always feel like a peasant in the presence of a princess when it comes to her. With how cultured and educated and just fucking smart she always had been. But as I told her of the constellations (sometimes grabbing her hand to point to the stars and make her spot them better), and proclaimed my love for the night sky, she listened. She listened and I had never felt heard before in my life. She listened and I felt I had managed to make her fall in love with the stars a little bit by just talking about them.

She listened and I felt I had managed to make myself fall in love in her a little bit by just seeing the way she looked at me as I talked.

All good things come to an end and time had come for me to go back home. I will never forget how she hugged me goodbye on that same airport. Where I had seen the brightest smile on my life and now I could see she was holding back tears for me. Because I was leaving. I was important enough in someone’s life that they were about to cry because I wasn’t going to be around anymore. She way she whispered “I’m gonna miss you so much” on my ear, on such a low note I am sure it was just so her mother wouldn’t hear her, and her voice will haunt me for the rest of my life. She told me a few days later that she did cry on her way to school that morning.

After this it was near impossible to not be with her at all times. We texted constantly, and used to talk like 2 whole hours on the phone before bed. Once again I must remind you this was 2008 so it was no cheap business. Her mother started to try to separate us a bit, insisting she didn’t contact me as much, even tho I was sure the one who could not afford those phone bills, not her. It all culminated on what was ironically (or perhaps planned by her mother?) brazilian Valentine’s day (we are the only country in the world that celebrates in on St. Anthony’s day, which is June 12th). It was the first day in almost two years we didn’t talk at all, because of how much her mother had nagged her about it. The next day we talked as if we had been separated by a war for a decade.

I’m gonna take a break here to let everyone know that no, I did not think I was in love with her back then. I don’t think she knew either, but it’s hard to tell.

Her mother planned her entire july winter break to the minute just so she could spend the least amount of time in my house as possible. We got 5 days instead of the previous 4. But her mother came up with a ridiculous amount of trips for the family. She visit 3 different countries (and a whole different state inside her own country) within 30 fucking days. That’s how bad it had gotten then. Our SMSs had to be cut down to just two or three a day because of it.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t matter because when she arrived at my house (her family had insisted in meeting mine before letting her stay) I was able to see from three floors up how brightly she had smiled at seeing me again.

I’ll make this part short: we stayed cooped inside blankets the entire time, playing on my PS2. It was so ridiculous that my mom, maaaany years later, told me she usually left the house for hours at time just to give us an opportunity of finally doing something about our very obvious feelings. Unlike the trip we took to her ranch, this one was filled with 3am deep existencial talks. And unlike the other trip, we spent the whole time sleeping on the same bed. Not a whole lot happened other than us dancing around the obvious feelings and how to deal with being so close to each other.

Nothing beside the very last morning together. I remember always waking up after her, because that’s just how we were. I remember she was already up, reading this book in fucking german of all things. It had been the first day of the entire week we had a meager ray of sunshine. And the way my window and ourselves were positioned, the sun was shinning directly on her. I woke up to the vision of an angel. I had never seen hair in such a warm bright color. I had never seen eyes that were the living embodiment of a spring afternoon sky. I woke up and her propped up on a couple of pillows, reading under the weak morning sun was the first thing I saw. It was the first thing I saw and I could swear I was still dreaming.

Because for the first time in all this, I could not contain and muffle the voice inside my head that was screaming: I want to wake up next to this every single day for the rest of my life.

It was the last time I woke up next to her for the rest of my life.

To my credit I did shake off my daze from the sight quite fast. I had gotten so good to drowning out these feelings that I was great at putting my poker face back up. We talked, we had breakfast, we let ourselves feel a bit sad about her leaving.

Then, just about half an hour before we actually had to go shower to take her to the station, it happened. The one moment that made me feel confident this all wasn’t just in my head. It all wasn’t just wishful thinking of a lonely pathetic girl who got way too bullied in high school.

We were having an impromptu pillow fight cause why not. That’s how girls who are secretly in love handle their feelings after all. It’s universal I think. And, well, on the overall 9 days we spent together irl I never actually beat her once because I’m just that much of a noddle. But this one fight we were both in bed, with weak footing and etc. You can see where this is going.

So on a scene to rival any anime, or that one gif of girls playing handball that fall on top of each other, she fell on top of me. Well, did she fall? I don’t know. For all I know, she planned.

And we had the moment. The gaze. Those few indescribable seconds of your life that you’re always gonna remember like yesterday, no matter how old you get. She had each of my hands pinned to the side of my head, and at first I thought we were still fighting so I just struggled and laughed and was saying stuff like “get off me ya psycho!”. But then I looked up. I looked up and.

And then I felt it. I felt everything her eyes were telling me. She wasn’t playing with me anymore. She was staring at me as if she already knew it was going to be the last time. She was staring at me as if it was a love story because it was. She was staring at me as if her entire existence, as if the whole oxygen on the earth itself depending on my presence.

She was staring at me like I has never been looked at before, or since. Even with a 3-years long relationship I had muuuch later on. No one had never, or will ever, look at me the way she looked at me.

And I froze. I froze because I had no idea what else to do. I froze because inside my head back then this was still wrong. Girls should not kiss. Girls should never kiss.

It was wrong.

It was so wrong, but nothing, not a single piece of bigot ramble ever uttered in history would make me feel more scared than losing my best friend. Nothing in the world scared me more than losing her.

Could I cross this boundary? Did she want to? Or was it just a spur on the moment thing?

But then she stared at my lips and I could not help but lick my own. Out of instinct, out of craving, out of love.

To the risk of getting an angry mob to my house right now, no, we did not kiss.

In fact, I dont quite remember the next few seconds at all. It had been single the most intense moment in my life at this point. It is still one of the most intense moments I’ve ever experienced. I completely blanked out of how I actually got pulled out of it and back into the land of living. Next thing I know we are sitting on opposite sides of the bed, trying to move away from the awkwardness. We did manage, in a couple of minutes. and things went back to normal between us.

But things would never be back to normal within me.

I’m gonna take a pause here to point out I’m bisexual. So like every bisexual, I am a very confused person. Cause you see, the moment you figure out you're bisexual it’s so much more confusing than figuring out you're fully homosexual. Because in the moment, things don’t just click. Things dont just start to magically make sense. I was 16 and I had absolutely liked guys before. Was it with this intensity? No because I was fucking 16. She was the first person I was been truly in love with. But I know it in my soul that if she was a dude I would love her with the exact same intensity. This particular discourse took me another three years to solve, but I digress.

And then she left.

She left and, like I said, her mother had programed her entire july milimetrically so we could be as far apart as possible. She left my house straight back to her ranch, not even her own house, And they have no internet there, so no MSN. Just a single 30-minutes phone call a day, for the 4 days after we had spent the entire week cooped up in bed inside blankets and playing lame-ass RPGs. And then right after that she left for germany for two full weeks. But before that particular trip, she did manage to get home. She got home to a letter of her grandma that read...

Well to be honest I cannot tell you what it read exactly. Because she was extremely vague about it when telling me. But it was enough to destroy her. It was enough to make her think that her grandma would not want anything to do with her anymore and it was based off somewhat new events. It doesn’t take a fucking genius to figure out the full contents of the letter. Her family is from the brazilian Bible Belt. But back then, at 16, confused as fuck, and already preemptively heartbroken, I legit had no idea what it said. She was vague and I didn’t want to pry. I just wanted to make her stop crying. I just wanted to put that beautiful smile back in her face but on that day I could feel her slipping away for the first time.

The rest of the story takes place in just a bit under two months. Maybe 6 weeks at most.

She goes to germany and finds a boyfriend, as one does. She leeches on this boy like a lifeline, but never stops texting me our 3 international texts we were allowed daily. In fact, the first thing she did after kissing him was pulling off her phone as texting me.

You can imagine how well this guy takes it.

Now, she goes back to brasil and this guy actually lives somewhat close to her. It’s a doable relationship. Once they both have access to internet and MSN again, and she is fast to introduce us, so happy that both of the most important people in her life are meeting. Even tho they had been together for like 3 weeks at this point.

I’m ok with it because, well, I still hadn’t figured myself out. I know no one will believe this, but I honestly did not feel jealousy. In fact, it was almost relief. Relief that I would not need to look into my feelings any further than I had back in july. I was happy for her. She seemed genuinely happy with this guy, and so was I.

And then Independence Day weekend comes and hell starts to... well, not break loose, but certainly get weaker on the seams. In here Independence Day is on September 7th, but both on my city and hers there's a city holiday on the 8th. On that year it ended up getting us a 4-day weekend again, and obviously I thought I was the one who was gonna be invited to visit her. I has been counting on it, planning for it.

Two weeks or so before that she informs me that she wants to invite her boyfriend over instead of it, which is like. Ok. Fair. But for the first time in this entire story I felt jealousy. Because that ranch, those stars, that sky... it was our place. I did not wanna share those experiences I had with her with anyone else. But I kept quiet of course, because how could I not? I tell her “yeah it’s a bit upsetting because I was hopping we could see each other, but I am genuinely happy you get to spend time with him!”

She ghosts me in that week.

To this day, 12 years and 2 months later, I do not know why. I do not know how. I know her grandma called again when she learned the boyfriend was gonna come over and not me, but that’s all.

She ghosted me before ghosting was even a thing. So I had no other social parameter to deal with the situation. I will never forget the absolutely heart wrenching pain I felt when I figured out she had blocked me on MSN. It’s indescribable.

It’s indescribable because she was the first person I felt like actually gave a flying fuck if I lived of died, if I was happy or if I cried. And she had up and decided to fucking cut me out her life without a single fucking word of explanation. One night everything was fine, we even had a group chat with her boyfriend. The next day she is gone forever. I don’t know, nor I think I will ever learn what triggered it. What was the last fucking draw, the last fucking prejudiced word directed at her that made her do it.

My world had been full of color, full of life, and even if literally everyone around me in real life would be so much happier if I didn’t exist (back then I DID NOT get along with my mother), she had seemed this entire time to be so much happier with me around. She was the one person who liked my existence. And literally overnight, I wake up and my world is empty. My world is empty and my air is missing and I don’t fucking know why.

It’s been 12 years and I still don’t know why.

Her boyfriend harassed me a bit back on orkut. Like, I have no idea why. It was unprompted. But it does give you a big fucking clue does it now?

I haven’t gotten a single word from her ever again. I know she’s alive, that’s not the fucking point of the story. I know because I tried to contact her again through every fucking means possible. I even sent her a letter of all things for fuck’s sake. When facebook came along I found her there too and sent her a message. Once 3 years after the fact, and then again 6 years after the fact. That was the last time I tried contacting her.

I cannot say I was “faithful”, so to speak. I cannot say she has been the only thing in my mind. I cannot say that I have not loved again, because I have. I had a serious 3-year relationship, as I mentioned. I had actual gay disasters stories in between. She has not remained the foremost thing in my mind. She has not remained my one true love. There were times where I spent months without thinking about her. Even silly crushes are enough to stray my thoughts away, to stray my heart away

But what worth are those times if I always go back to thinking of her as soon as I see myself without someone? What worth are those times where she is not in my mind, if she had never left my heart to begin with?

What worth is forgetting about her at times when she is my default setting?

I know what you're thinking. “you’re not in love with her, you’re in love with the idea of what could have been”. And you’re absolutely right. I know you are. I’m fully aware of it, of the implications of it, not only on my love life but my mental health.

But she has been the single most influential person in my life. She was the one that got me to writing. She was the one who made face my mother and have The Talk we needed for fucking 16 years about who my father was. Fuck, she is the sole responsible for setting my life on that path, and all the domino effect of events that happened because of the decision of talking to my mother about it. She was the one that made me figure out I was bisexual. Not a lesbian, definitively not straight, but not gay either. Bisexual, out and proud.

She was my first love.

She was my first love and she is the one that makes me give some credit to the saying “at the end of your life you will see you’ve fallen in love with the same person over and over again”.

She was my first love and she makes me go fucking crazy enough to give the whole “soulmates” concept a decent thought, because this cannot have been natural. Loneliness cannot explain the entire thing. It cannot explain how ridiculously drawn I was to her right away. Attraction doesn’t explain it either. It cannot explain how insanely synced up I’ve always felt to her. How insanely connected.

I’m not gonna lie, I loved my ex. Truly and deeply. They were the only person to ever treat me respect, and I felt almost as connected to them as I did to her. Almost.

If we are getting technical, I felt, like, 95% synced up with them. Which is more than the vast majority of humankind can only dream of feeling.

But it was not 100%.

There has only been one person in my life that I have felt 100% connected with. One person in my life I have not been able to shake away, have not been able to get over. Oh I have moved on. I have moved on and moved back in and then moved on again. Many times, over and over.

But I have not gotten over you. I will never get over you. What happened. How it ended. You were my biggest heartbreak. You were my biggest love story, and I didn’t even get to live it.

You make me so illogical that I sincerely hope there is a next life out there. One we can meet, sit down, and talk.

I’m sure you are a completely different person right now. I am a completely different person too. And it is insane, it is illogical, and it is immature to think that these two completely different people would still have any vestige of a thing in common like we did as kids. Because we were kids. We were kids and now we are both adults, and have a single damn thing changed?

A whole fuckton of them changed. Seasons changed. Years changed. The entire fucking world changed. I have changed more than you can possible imagine a person would in 12 years.

But you being the default setting of my heart has not changed. No matter how “unfaithful” I’ve been to you. No matter how much I will keep on living not being attached to you. No matter how much I know at some point I will forget you, forget this feeling, and bask into the pleasure of a new love. No matter how much at some point I will surely think “wow, what a crazy bitch I was back then, with all these feelings for a random girl who certainly doesn’t even remember I exist”.

And that’s one of my biggest fears you see. Cause for me you are half the fucking book. For me you’re the constant element that comes back when sea is calm and things are ok.

And I fear that to you I was nothing more than a line, maybe a throwaway paragraph in your life.

#my stuff #my writting #gay disaster

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thrillingdetectivetales · 4 years ago

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2020 Creator Wrap

2020 Creator Wrap: Favorite Works

Okay, okay, I know I’m late with this but the incredibly sweet @irolltwenties and the utterly delightful @anthrobrat were both kind enough to me in this bad boy and it seems really fun, so here we are!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (or so) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought to the world in 2020. Tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

According to my AO3 statistics page, I wrote just over 100K of fiction this year, across 17 different fandoms, a few of which won’t actually go live until after the New Year because they’re part of a gifting collection that hasn’t been revealed yet... Anyway, I picked my faves for a variety of reasons, listed briefly after each link. If you have any questions about works I’ve shared (or just in general) feel free to ask!

1. Front Row at the Gongshow

The Pacific, 16K, Rated G Andrew ‘Ack Ack’ Haldane/Edward ‘Hillbilly’ Jones

Aside from being the longest completed work I produced this year, this is also the first fic I’ve ever written using the “found document” format. While there are parts of it I feel really conflicted about, I’m still incredibly proud of it and think it’s one of the better fic I’ve written...possibly ever. Which is doubly funny because I don’t usually do modern AUs of period fiction, but the hockey angle was enough to tempt and lo, here we are, lol.

[Excerpt from Deadspin]

"You all remember Eddie Jones, right? The corn-fed captain of the New Orleans Rougarou so wholesome he belongs on a box of Malt-O-Meal? The gentleman bruiser who spends his free time playing country tunes for kids with cancer?

Our favorite dapper D-man led his team to 97 points last night in a shut-out victory against the Los Angeles Kings, clinching a playoff spot for the first time in franchise history. Oh! And he also got caught on camera at the after-party, sucking face. WITH A DUDE."

2. Entremets

Hannibal, 8K, Rated E Will Graham/Hannibal Lecter

I have...so many Hannibal fic that I’ve started writing and haven’t finished because all my ideas lead to long plotty epics and also big name fandoms scare me. I did this one up for Eat, Drink, & Make Merry, and I’m really, really pleased with the way it turned out, considering it was my first foray into establishing new character voices and also a successful exercise in writing explicit content, which can be a bit of an Ordeal for me, so overall I’m incredibly happy with it. Plus! My deep and abiding love of writing characters cooking/eating/otherwise dealing with food finally paid off!

“The pâté was supposed to be more of a gesture,” Will explains, spreading a golden sliver of honeycomb out across a slice of sopressata with the blade of his pocket knife. “You don’t actually have to eat it. I’m not even sure if it’s any good.” He smears a healthy dollop of chȇvre across his meat-and-honey concoction and pops the whole thing into his mouth without ceremony.

“What better method exists by which to convey one’s appreciation of a gesture than to indulge it?”

3. An Ode to Matty Big-Time

The Good Place, 2K, Rated T Jason Mendoza/Original Male Characters, Pillboi

This one was actually a request made by my very dear @thesummoningdark, who wanted to see some bisexual Jason per that one fantastic Tumblr post about how everyone in TGP should be bi, and I’m really, really proud of the way it turned out. I love writing comedy and I very rarely get to lean into it as hard as I’d like, so delving into the whole wild craziness of Jacksonville, as explained in the show was really fun. I also love writing original characters, and this was a great excuse to indulge.

“We probably shouldn’t do any butt stuff,” Jason warns, with as much gravitas as he can muster. “I had two of Stupid Nick’s Disaster Buckets when I got here.”

“Yeah, your face is still kinda orange,” Mateo agrees fondly, bringing his other hand up to brush his thumb over Jason’s lower lip. It stirs a little frisson of heat in his belly that Jason is 68% sure isn’t just indigestion. “No chemical burns, though, so I think you came out on top.”

4. This and Who I Used to Be

The Tick (2017), 3K, Rated G Arthur Everest/Superian

Another new fandom I haven’t written in before, this was a fill for the Rare Male Slash Exchange that turned me on to a pairing I’d never even thought of before I wrote it and am now low-key obsessed with. It is also, to date, the ONLY Arthur/Superian fic on AO3 at all, which is a cool weird honor and fairly indicative of my life’s goal to eventually write my way into smaller and smaller fandoms until I come out the other side with original works. It was really fun to explore these characters, and to figure out some world-building for Superian’s backstory that fit within the tone and established canon of the extant Amazon!Tick universe. Also featuring an original character that nobody asked for but I’ve come to love unconditionally.

Arthur glances down to where Superian has one cheek pressed against his shoulder, humming something off-key and unintelligible with his eyes closed. Arthur sighs. “Let’s get you inside.”

He hauls Superian in until he can prop him against the wall while he shuts and locks the door behind him. When he looks back over, Superian is smiling at him, soft and lazy. He swings a finger in Arthur’s direction, a broad, sloppy motion, and announces, “I knew you’d say yes.”

“Technically I said fine,” Arthur rebuts. He gestures down the hallway toward the kitchen—which leads on to the bedroom, as Superian well knows—and sighs, “Come on. I don’t know what those handcuffs did to you, but you should probably lie down and have a glass of water or something.”

5. Rain in Its Season

Band of Brothers, 12K, Rated G Edward ‘Babe’ Heffron/John Julian

Oh boy. What to say about this one. It’s maybe not as polished as I might have preferred, but I feel that way about mostly everything I write and at the end of the day I do really love what I managed to do with this piece. Written for the Heavy Artillery Rare Pair Exchange, I managed to lean heavily into both my love for needlessly granular period research and original characters, which are abundant herein. Frankly, based on the very little we see of him in the show, Julian himself is practically an OC, but I digress. This was another of the longer pieces I’ve ever finished and I’m proud of it even if I’d’ve liked to write another 15K or so, time constraints notwithstanding.

“Tell me. Please. Why’re you here?”

Babe flinched, gaze dropping to the floor. His heart was a raw, swollen welt in his chest. He swallowed and licked his lips, slow and pained.

“Come on, Julian,” he rasped, low and quiet. “You know why.” He laughed, soft and hoarse, and shook his head, once. When he looked back up, Julian had taken a careful step into the center of the room. His eyes were very dark, his mouth very red, hope and fear warring in his every feature. Babe fisted his fingers in the cotton sheet underneath him, halfway to pleading as he insisted, “You gotta know.”

Julian sighed and came over to hover at the edge of the bed. Babe spread his legs to accommodate the intrusion.

“That was - ” Julian started. His voice failed midway through the protest, and he swallowed, took a breath, and regrouped at a lower volume. “You said that was just buddies, what we did over there. That it didn’t count. That you didn’t want it to.”

The TL;DR of this all being that while I didn’t write as much I wanted to this year in terms of volume, I feel like my quality has been improving consistently and hope it continues to do so into 2021 while I try to finish out some of my years-long WIPs and get into longer completed pieces.

I’m not sure who all to tag, so I’ll say @thesummoningdark, @blahblahblahclintnickiscanon, @thisbadge, @incognito-insomniac, and anyone else who’d like to join in and hasn’t been tagged yet! (If you’re the latter, feel free to @ me so I can see what you’ve written!)

Happy New Year everyone May the fanworks you create this year be prolific and soul-affirming!

#creator wrap #2020 creator wrap

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miracleboiz · 4 years ago

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Making a Home Ch. 25

Kita Shinsuke had experienced a lot in life. He had been raised with his grandmother, a loving foster parent and for some time he followed in her foot steps before finding his own path. He thought his foster care license had expired before getting a call at three am with two small boys thrust into his arms. Miya Osamu and Atsumu, from broken homes but still fighting. Thirty days before his license expires. Thirty days to make a choice, keep the boys or let them be separated into different homes. Thirty days to fall in love with them.

Words: 100k+

Relationships: Ojiro Aran/Kita Shinsuke, Gen

Warnings: Mention of past child abuse, non-graphic abuseNot from Kita, but it is mentioned. I will post any warnings before any panic attacks or vague descriptions of abuse.

Read below or on AO3

*Mention of a nightmare and small panic attack*

Osamu was surrounded in black. Something soft was under his hands but no matter what he did he couldn’t see anything. He squirmed, chest tightening when he couldn’t speak.

He tried to cry out, tried to move, looking for his brother. He writhed, trying to get his body to respond as panic started to fill him. Still, he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

“Osamu?” A voice seemed to cut through the darkness but it wasn’t Atsumu’s voice. Osamu didn’t know who it was, he couldn’t see or move. He was always in bed by himself or Atsumu.

Where was he? Where was Atsumu? Why wasn’t his brother coming to help him?

Terror clawed at his heart and he struggled to breathe as the salty taste of tears hit his lips.

“Osamu!” The voice came again, sterner and Osamu jolted up, eyes snapping open. He stared at Aran’s face for a second without really seeing him, confusion and panic flooding through him.

Osamu spun, catching sight of silver hair from Shinsuke on his side and Lady on Aran’s right but Atsumu was nowhere to be found. He shoved off the hands trying to comfort him, desperate to find his brother.

Atsumu wouldn’t leave him right? Atsumu had promised to be there for him. He said he would fight anyone trying to take him away no matter what. Atsumu wouldn’t leave him for anyone, not Shinsuke, not Aran, not Shinji. Atsumu wouldn't. Atsumu wouldn’t.

“ ‘Tsumu!” The cry finally broke from followed by a loud sob. “ ‘Tsumu! ‘Tsumu!”

“ ‘Samu?” Atsumu’s voice yawned as his head popped up from between Shinsuke and Lady. He’d been tucked rather tightly against Shinsuke’s chest and seemed more than a little bit confused.

He crawled over Shinsuke as the man started to wake up himself. Osamu was flying at him the moment Atsumu was close enough to be tackled into a hug. Osamu sobbed as he held onto his brother as tightly as he could, only clinging harder at Atsumu’s yelp of his name.

“ ‘Samu? ‘Samu what happened?” Atsumu whined, looking close to tears himself and in a heartbeat he was sobbing too as he hugged his brother back.

“I couldn’t... move..” Every break was racked with another sob from Osamu, “then I couldn’t breathe… and I… I woke up… you were gone… I couldn’t find you… Thought you left me… Don’t leave me ‘Tsumu… Please don’t leave me.”

Atsumu clung to his brother, shaking his head and wrapping himself around him as if to help him hide from the world.

“ ‘m never going to leave you ‘Samu, never ever.” Atsumu promised, eyes pressed shut even as tears slipped out bit by bit.

“Thought someone… someone took…” Osamu choked on the words, rocking in his brother’s arms as the panic started to overwhelm him.

“Osamu, breathe in.” Shinsuke said, sitting up slightly as the fog in his eyes started to fade. “Seven seconds, breathe with me and Atsumu.”

Osamu gulped in a breath, barely reaching the full time. Atsumu tried to rub his back like he’d seen Shinsuke do, breathing in time with Shinsuke. Aran shifted slowly to sit up, but Osamu didn’t even seem to notice, too busy holding onto Atsumu like a lifeline.

Nearly half an hour passed before Osamu was able to blink open his eyes tiredly at Shinsuke. He glanced over his shoulder, staring at Aran’s concerned face for a moment before releasing his brother. He fell back against Aran’s chest instead, half on his lap.

“I don’t like bad dreams.” He mumbled, a yawn breaking from him. “I thought… Maybe…”

Guilt was written across his face and he shrunk down slightly, pawing for Atsumu’s hand to hold. He wouldn’t look at Shinsuke though, even when Shinsuke sat up more to watch him, stroking Lady’s back to keep her from tackling the kids and licking them to cheer them up.

“Maybe… Shinsuke had given Atsumu away to Aran when I fell asleep last night.” His head hung down low with shame. “I’m sorry…”

“Oh little one.” Shinsuke whispered softly, moving closer. “Is this alright?”

He waited until Osamu was nodding before he kicked out of the blanket and pulled Atsumu onto his lap so he could sit knee to knee with Aran. Atsumu instantly grabbed Aran’s shirt too, as if to keep him from going away.

“There’s no need to be sorry, Osamu.” Shinsuke soothed softly, “You had a nightmare, it’s okay to be scared after that. But there’s no need to worry about Atsumu being given away on his own-”

“I don’t want to leave you though!” Osamu blurted, freezing and patting with his free hand until it could wrap around Lady’s collar. “I wanna stay with Aran, but I wanna stay with you too but I don’t know if you w-want us or… or… or…”

Aran gently rubbed Osamu’s back, letting the child shake as he stared at Shinsuke. He gave Shinsuke a pointed look over their heads but Shinsuke didn’t need it. Seeing Aran in such a vulnerable spot with his kid on his lap though, definitely set Shinsuke’s heart to beat a little harder though.

“No, Osamu that isn’t what I meant.” Shinsuke explained softly, his hand not on Lady’s fur moving to stroke through Atsumu’s hair. The child sighed softly, flopping back against his chest and tilting his head up to stare at him with wide eyes.

“I was going to wait until breakfast time, but I suppose five am works too.” Shinsuke hummed softly, the slightest curve of his lip appearing at Atsumu’s almost timed yawn. “I know, when you spoke to Oomimi you told him you didn’t want to be adopted by me-”

This time Atsumu was the one to shrink down, his own guilt and panic overtaking the almost peaceful look he’d had on his face. He hadn’t meant to make Shinsuke upset then, he just thought that Shinsuke would be happier with them gone. He wouldn’t have been so stressed or busy.

“But, I also know that was a very stressful and bad day,” Shinsuke continued, leaning his head down just enough to press a kiss to Atsumu’s forehead. “And I wanted to ask you now.”

Atsumu’s eyes widened immeasurably as he stared up at Shinsuke. His grip on his brother’s hand tightened and both of the twins’ eyes were locked on Shinsuke.

“You and Aran are going to get married again and keep us!” Atsumu blurted before Shinsuke could open his mouth. Of course that was why Aran said he would keep them before! Because he and Shinsuke we’re getting back together after Aran moved to France and Aran was keeping it a surprise! Just like the birthday party!

Osamu had to let go of Lady to hold onto Aran’s knee as his chair started to laugh. Aran tried to hold it back, desperately pinching his lips shut but he couldn’t. Laughter broke from him as he wrapped an arm around Osamu to keep him from being bounced around, a wide grin on both of their faces.

“Keep you, yes, Aran and I….” Shinsuke said delicately, chuckling quietly himself. “I was-”

“ ‘Tsumu you dummy.” Osamu interrupted, moving to swipe at his brother’s face playfully. “They gotta learn to walk in their ice skates before they get married. They haven’t been skatin’ cuz they’ve been with us.”

“Ohhh, right! Can we go ice skating so you can get married and keep us?” Atsumu said, nodding his head to the clear logic of his brother’s words.

Aran was nearly wheezing with laughter, Osamu more than a little happy to be shaken as Aran tried to calm himself. It worked for a few seconds before he caught sight of Shinsuke’s unamused stare and raised eyebrow and the laughter broke out again.

Shinsuke’s lips quirked up in response and he pressed them together, looking away before Aran dragged him into a laughing fit. It definitely didn’t help the soft warmth slowly building in his chest as he looked down at his two boys clearly excited.

“Atsumu, Osamu, would you like to be adopted by me?” Shinsuke asked, watching in amusement as Lady started to crawl her way between them as if trying to hold Osamu down from the force of the still laughing Aran.

He wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of two excitable six year olds launching themselves at him and trying to scramble up towards his face. He squeaked as he fell back, feeling two hands wrap around his wrists and tug him back up.

Aran’s smiling face greeted him as the boys scrambled over him, trying to hug his neck and each other at the same time. Shinsuke shifted, waiting for Lady to move herself onto Aran’s lap instead before he was leaning against Aran’s shoulder.

“I don’t think you have a few years to make me wait,” Aran teased him lightly, “You might have another forty five seconds before they start asking about ice skating again though.”

Shinsuke tossed him a fake glare, wrapping his arms around the boys and nuzzling the hair under his nose. He closed his eyes for a moment, just taking in a breath to revel in the moment. His boys. All three of them. Right here with him. No one was going anywhere, they were a family even if the last bit of the puzzle was going to take some time to put together.

“I know you taught them that, what does it even mean?” Shinsuke grumbled, blinking when Osamu sat up suddenly and let go of Shinsuke’s neck.

“Oh! Oh! I know. Can I tell him? Please Aran?” Osamu begged, reaching over to pat at Aran until he was sure he was being paid attention to. Aran was going to have to talk to the Matsukawa’s about their cat teaching his kids how to beg for attention.

“Sure, darling, go ahead.” Aran hummed, settling in to hear what he assumed was going to be a ridiculous version of what he’d told the boys days ago.

“Okay, okay, so!” Osamu started, happily holding onto the collar of Aran’s shirt. “There’s lotsa steps to ice skate. Ya gotta go to the place, then you gotta walk around, then you gotta check your feet and make sure they’re… feet. Then you get your shoes, and you put them on and then you gotta tie them and that’s super hard, I needed help but ‘Tsumu was really good at it… and….”

He blinked, trying to remember what he had been talking about, then grinned again.

“Then you have to walk in them and ‘Tsumu isn’t good at that, then you have to step on the ice and it’s super super scary but since Aran-kun will be there it’s not so scary. Then you gotta learn to skate! And Tooru-san and Hajime-san and Issei-san and Taka-san all had each other and learned to ice skate like… a bajillion years ago, that’s why they’re married!”

Shinsuke kept the smile on his face but he had absolutely no idea what was just said to him.

“Ah… Thank you for that explanation, Osamu. Perhaps Aran and I will… try to go ice skating and… learn to walk in them?” He said cautiously but it seemed to be the right thing to do because Osamu brightened and Atsumu’s hold got tighter.

“Okay boys, if we’re not going to go to bed again, we need to eat-”

“Cake!” Atsumu and Osamu shouted together, making both adults wince.

“No.” Aran said sternly, watching them deflate with exaggerated pouts. “Cake is for after dinner, five… six thirty now, is time for breakfast. Why don’t you go get the rice started?”

The boys gasped, thrilled to be allowed to ‘make’ something on their own and scrambled to get off the bed. Lady leaped out of Aran’s lap, smacking him in the face with her tail, and followed after them cheerfully.

“.... Aran did you teach my kids about dating by using ice skating as a metaphor?” Shinsuke asked, quirking an eyebrow over at his best friend.

“... That… was perhaps something I did. Unless you wanted me to try and explain to a six year old that sometimes people aren’t ready to date. Because they’re six and they don’t understand the concept of ‘not ready’ for anything beyond dinner.” Aran said simply, but he still wasn’t looking Shinsuke in the eye. It only took a second for Shinsuke to realize that Aran was laughing.

“Are you-”

“When’s the wedding, Shin? I want to coordinate the boys’ outfits.” Aran teased, a loud laugh exploding from him at Shinsuke’s offended expression.

“I have seen the clothes you wear, you are not choosing the wedding outfits or colors or anything beyond food to be completely honest. You’d go with the ugliest colors just to see who died first, me or Tooru.” Shinsuke bumped their shoulders together, rolling his eyes at the second laugh that bubbled out of him. “Get out of my bed. I don’t want anything to do with you anymore. I’m telling the kids you died and we’re keeping Lady.”

Aran rolled his eyes, grabbing the blanket and chucking it over Shinsuke’s head. Shinsuke wrestled free, giving him a half glare as his hair stuck up in every direction.

“I’m going to help our kids make breakfast.” Aran said sweetly, copying Shinsuke’s attitude from the night before, already sliding out of the bed as a pillow was chucked at his back.

“Aran.” Shinsuke shouted after him, but Aran could hear his soft laugh. Relaxed and at peace, Aran knew that laugh and he’d missed it far too much.

“If we’re getting married, I want a divorce.” Shinsuke deadpanned as he was kicked in the shoulder on accident. Osamu gasped from his spot on Aran’s shoulders as they walked down the street, heading towards the park.

His small hands smacked Aran’s cheeks in an attempt to hold on and get his attention.

“Aran are you going to be okay? You’re still going to visit right?” He whined and Aran hushed him softly, reaching up to hold Osamu’s hands instead.

“Shinsuke’s just being cranky because I won’t let him hold Lady’s leash.” Aran soothed, squeezing his hand and looking over to where Atsumu was very carefully walking Lady beside him. Though from the way Lady kept her head turned toward Atsumu and nudged him carefully around any gaps in the road, Aran was pretty sure she was walking Atsumu.

“... That’s a good reason to be cranky.” Atsumu said, staring down at the sidewalk to keep from tripping and Lady tugged him away from a light post. Aran hummed in amusement, letting go of Osamu for a moment to tuck Atsumu closer to his hip instead of the edge of the sidewalk.

“I’m not cranky.” Shinsuke said, sounding mildly cranky but Aran could see the humor in his eyes.

“He’s very, very cranky.” Aran assured the twins, smiling over at Shinsuke’s eye roll. “But once we get to the park I’m sure he’ll be fine.”

“Don’t worry Shinsuke-san.” Osamu chirped, waving Aran’s hands in the air theatrically. “We’ll have lots of fun and then you’ll smile- like that! Aran, Aran! He smiled.”

Shinsuke was indeed smiling, and this time he wasn't trying to suppress it. He let it grow until it was comfortable on his face, shaking his head fondly at the gasps from each of them. He took a few steps ahead of them, stepping into the gated park and checking for any other dogs. Like he suspected, there were no other dogs so early in the morning.

He could hear shuffling behind him and seconds later Osamu and Atsumu were running past, Lady jogging quietly behind them.

“Sorry, they got excited.” Aran chuckled, eyes already scanning the park and relaxing when there was no sign of anything that could distract Lady. She was well trained, but she was, afterall, a dog.

“I can see that.” Shinsuke hummed quietly, watching the boys as they made their way over.

“... Shinsuke, are you still grumpy I didn’t let you hold Lady’s leash?” Aran asked, voice soft with apology but as soon as Shinsuke turned to look at him, he could see the laughter in his eyes. Aran was struggling not to laugh and Shinsuke shook his head at him.

“Why do the boys think we’re married? You’re clearly just harassing me, there’s absolutely no love here.” Shinsuke said, keeping his face neutral.

“Don’t start that. The boys may think you hung the moon but I’m well aware you’re a devil. I’ve been with you since you were fifteen remember?”

“Yes I do, every minute.” Shinsuke said softly, tilting his head up to blink prettily up at him. Aran’s cheek burned red and he gaped at Shinsuke for a moment before it settled into a half hearted glare instead.

“How you manage to be so sweet but devious at the same time blows my mind, every single time.” Aran sighed, shaking his head and bumping his shoulders into Shinsuke’s at the sight of the amused smile returning.

They walked a few more steps, eyes on the boys chasing each other around with Lady herding them away from the half frozen lake. They were laughing and cheering and Shinsuke couldn’t say he’d ever felt more at peace, more at home, then right now.

He stepped to the right, fingers dancing at the edge of Aran’s palm before Aran’s hand moved to intertwine their fingers. He flicked his eyes up to Aran’s, taking in the softness around his own eyes and the curve of his mouth in an easy smile. He looked happy, incredibly happy.

“Aran… Remember what I said before?” Shinsuke asked softly, finding himself unable to stare at him any longer until the words were out. “About… waiting...I know I need to, but I don’t want to raise these boys without you… If you are willing… to go… rather slow… probably unnaturally slow for most people… Why don’t we go ice skating next week? I have Thursday off next.”

Aran’s lips were curved in a smile when Shinsuke felt them press against his temple.

“Toldja before, Shin. I’m here, as long as it takes.” Aran said against his skin and Shinsuke could feel the affection in his words. “We can take breaks too, the boys come first after all.”

Shinsuke didn’t disagree, but he also couldn’t help but think that they’d been rather glued to the hip since the break down last week. It didn’t feel like he was changing anything to be with Aran, nothing he wasn’t already changing for the boy’s atleast. Baby steps though, were just fine with him. Like Osamu had said, you had to learn to walk in skates before you got on the ice.

It didn’t have to be a date but Shinsuke wanted to spend more time with Aran regardless. Besides, ice skating gave him more excuses to hang off of Aran’s arm and guilt him into buying drinks.

“Shinsuke-san!” Atsumu’s voice made them both perk up, looking over at the child. His bruises had healed and he looked as cheerful and happy as any kid their age should be.

“We found a duck! Hurry up.” Osamu echoed beside him, pointing at the small herd of ducks settling on the icy water.

Aran and Shinsuke shared a soft laugh, picking up speed a little but not enough for the twins.

“Touchan!” They hollered together, pointing at the ducks with clear excitement.

Shinsuke stumbled on the snow but the hand in his kept him up and he moved a little faster, the warmth in his chest spreading throughout all of him. He almost thought he’d pass out from the overwhelming emotion but all he could do was hurry to his boys. His boys.

His family.

* This is the final chapter, but an epilogue will be up next week. Let me know i fyou'd be more interested in teen-adult epilogue or still young kids epilogue. Thank you so much for taking this journey with me, it's been an amazing journey. *

#HQ #Haikyuu #Miya Atsumu #Miya Osamu #Kita Shinsuke #Arankita #Making a home AU

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cinnaminsvga · 4 years ago

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Writing Tag Game ☀️

→ Tagged by @hobidreams and @gukyi!! Took me ten years to do my tag games but she got it in the end folks!!

→ Tagging @jincherie @hobiwonder @gimmesumsuga @dreamystuffers @yminie + anyone who wants to do this though I’m pretty sure some of you might have done it already bc I’m late OH WELL ;-;

What is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

at home in my bedroom?? usually?? sometimes i’ll go to coffee shops or the library to write but it’s usually to brainstorm rather than actually write. i like being comfortable (i.e. being in pajamas) and while i go out in pajamas like 60% of the time anyway, it’s still nice being able to sit like A Gay Person™️ without any fear of judgment lol

What is your favorite genre to write?

has to be crack and angst (wow what a surprise HSJAHDJSA) and i think it’s pretty obvious from my masterlist... i just?? enjoy making people laugh + cry like i don’t know what to say lol but if i had to choose between the two, then i’d go with crack. making people laugh is my favorite thing in the world!!

Do you prefer to write on paper or digitally?

digitally,,, my brain moves kinda fast (thanks adhd) and if i write on paper, i will 100% of the time have terrible grammar bc my brain just... automatically skips words?? like i’ll be thinking of the sentence (ex: Yoongi takes a sip of water from your bottle) but then?? some words just disappear when i write it down?? so it’ll end up like “Yoongi a sip of water from bottle” LIKE?? WHERE DID THE REST OF THE SENTENCE GO LMAOOO (pls tell me other people relate... or am i just stupit... help me hsjdaskd)

It’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. What do you do?

write it in my phone notes app,,, this happens a lot and it has a success rate of 50% because sometimes i’ll remember what my notes mean and other times it’s just complete gibberish,,, i have a note from 2018 that literally only says “gobble on that dick” and i have NO IDEA WHY,,, my brain is an enigma -_-

Who is your favorite person to write about?

*looks at my masterlist* idk take a guess LMAO (okay but asides from THOSE TWO... probably seokjin. that guy comes so easily to me,,, it’s no wonder he was my first bias when i started stanning bangtan lmao we’re on a different plane of existence,,, we’re both intps too so,,, seokjin 🤝 zee we always win)

Do you like making your own characters, or do you usually write about real people?

both?? i just don’t ever post my own original work tho bc i’m scared of being #vulnerable so most of my ocs stay locked in a box forever ;-; but tbh, at this point... i consider the way i characterize bangtan in my fics to be sorta like ocs most of the time (most esp the reader character) bc i don’t always use the same “personalities” for most of them, if that makes sense?? it’s especially obvious when i make smaus bc the characters there often shift (with the exception of like... hoseok... i’m sorry man idk why u make such a compelling villain UR JUST TOO GOOD TO PASS UP)

Have you ever written a book/story with more than 15 chapters (100K words)?

fox rain!! she’s currently at 90K rn but i think with the next update, we’ll definitely hit the 100K mark... oh boy... that girl is a behemoth -_- what were rha and i thinking... lmao

How often do you get ideas?

every single day,,, every hour sometimes,,, i like to daydream (it’s my favorite pastime lol) but most of them just usually stay as dreams,,, maybe only 10% of my ideas ever have the potential to be written out and then only 1% of that percentage actually does become a fic,,, sorry guys but i have no brain wrinkles,,, i am as smooth as yoongi’s cheeks lol

Do you ever get an idea that you really like, but just can’t seem to finish?

*takes one look at my growing pile of unfinished fics* i don’t know what you’re talking about?? haha i always finish my fics what do you mean

(okay but asides from my #unmentionables... i do have lots of ideas that i really want to write but don’t have the time nor talent to accomplish!! there’s this one magic school au that i started worldbuilding almost two years ago but i doubt i’ll ever write it. it’s forever stuck in the mind vault, unfortunately!)

What is your least favorite plot?

mafia aus,,, i really cannot stomach them i’m sorry,,, badboy aus come close, as well as infidelity aus,,, they just leave me feelin weird i guess ;-; like more power to ya if you write/read those but i will unfortunately have to pass,,, gomenasorry

#wow watch me ramble for ten years #trying to clear my tag games... its a slow going process lol #tag game

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weilongfu · 5 years ago

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Wei watches Why R U Ep 1

So we’re starting in a carnival and our character doesn’t know where he is? We also don’t know who he is, but we know he’s lost and confused as fuck. And everyone is judging him but he thinks they look weird.

AND THEN SAINT APPEARS. HI SAINT. LOOKING FLY AS FUCK. I MISSED YOU!

Saint’s character’s name is Tutor and apparently he’s aware enough to know that lots of weird things are happening. I’d like to also be aware, please educate me Tutor. Zon, our lost boy, agrees with Tutor and decides they’re in a dream. The two share eye contact for a bit and suddenly Saifah appears and Tutor disappears. I am so fucking lost because then Tutor is walking away with someone, I guess Fighter? Zon asks what’s happening and I wanna ask that too!

Saifah then shows up to wink at Zon who freaks out. Then the world turns anime and Zon reflects on whether or not he’s seeing the future and wondering if Fighter and Tutor are going to hook up and why Saifah is staring at him and following him. Zon runs into a dead end and Saifah closes in, Zon continues to wonder what the fuck is going on and then wakes up.

We next see Zon writing, his dream is to be a writer. His sister, Zol, apparently changed things and so now he wants to write fiction.

His mom is pretty boss though. Wow, Zon’s sister has a fic with over 100k views? And her mom is excited? Zol, tell us the truth. Did you tell your mom what you were writing? Like what you were actually writing? Zon is similarly skeptical. And then he specifies that it’s a Y fiction, which I’m guessing is Thai slang for yaoi fiction? Zol challenges Zon to write his own sci-fi fic and get 100k views, but Zon refuses the challenge. Zol teases him until their mother breaks it up. However, due to his sister’s challenge, Zon is determined to write something great. It’s not easy bro, good luck.

And then in the present, Zon finds some people have read his fic and left mean comments. Sorry, bro.

We are then formally introduced to Tutor. And god, did I miss Saint’s face. I also like that he gets to dress like the bro he is on the inside. Tutor believes life is more than fiction, and lives up to his name as an actual tutor.

Then we meet Fighter, playing basketball, Which causes a spill of Tutor’s coffee. Tutor gets mad and asks when Fighter will stop teasing him. Fighter promises it was a mistake. Tutor tries to clean himself up and pick up his things. Fighter jumps in to help and Tutor angrily picks up everything on his own and tells Fighter he doesn’t need his help. ANGRY!SAINT IS BAE.

Next scene, nice cafe, nice owner, rude customer. What is with the bottle up your nose and sunglasses over your glasses? And all these demands? Bro, just curse him out for good. Cafe owner/person is Kae. Tutor greets him, but Kae tells him to be quiet. Kae asks what happened and why Tutor’s shirt is a mess. Tutor says it was just an accident.

Kae points out the rude customer and Tutor says that he is his dad’s creditor. Aww... So it looks like Tutor isn’t a rich boy. But maybe Fighter is. There’s still hope yet if I feel I have the strength to add one more pairing to the Rich Boys!AU.

Kae asks if everything is okay, but Tutor says he’ll talk to the creditor first. Tutor walks over and asks if it’s a due date. The guy says that Tutor owes his dad money and as the son, he can collect it anytime he wants. (Okay but how much of that money actually goes back to your dad, you scumbag?) Tutor asks if the due date is in another five days and asks for leniency until then. However, the guy refuses, but then hits on Tutor to take him as “interest.” He forces Tutor to choose to pay up now or “be his wife.” OKAY KICK HIS ASS NOW.

Kae steps in and tells the guy to stop being rude or he’ll call the cops. The guy calls Kae a fag and not to interfere. Kae finally steps up and says he’s the owner and the guy at least looks a little ashamed. Kae pays Tutor’s debt for now and scares the guy off.

Tutor apologizes for Kae stepping in and Kae says that it’s not an issue, he wants to help Tutor and they can settle the money later. Tutor is grateful and Kae is supportive. Tutor cleans up in the bathroom and wow, Saint still got that body. Tutor changes into his work uniform and works his ass off.

We return to Zon. And uh, he’s doing something on his computer. Half-naked. Zol jumps in and surprises him, making Zon fall over. Zon asks why she didn’t knock because what if he was naked? Zol says it’s nothing she hasn’t seen since she was a kid. Zon is still scandalized and Zol asks if he was watching porn. She then asks about if Zon is done with his fic and the challenge. However, Zon says he won’t give up and asks if Zol is there to make fun of him. Zol says that their parents want to talk to Zon and that their dad doesn’t seem happy.

Zon gets dressed and goes to meet his parents. He notes both look stressed. His dad asks about Zon’s GPA. Zon insists it isn’t that bad, but his mom points out it is 2.1 and he almost got an academic warning. Wow Zon, step it up. Zon promises to improve his GPA this semester, but only to 2.5. Both parents shake their head no. BOY THIS IS ASIA. WE DO 3.5 AND UP WHEN IT COMES TO EXPECTATIONS AROUND HERE.

Ha! I guessed right, Zon’s mom requests he bring his GPA up to a 3.0. Zon tries to negotiate to 2.75. But is not successful. Zon then agrees and says he can do it if he wants. He tries to leave, but apparently the GPA is only one issue. The other issue is his novel. His dad wants him to give up writing the novel for now and work on his GPA.

Zon points out that he’s asking Zon to give up what he loves, despite promising to support his kids for what they like. He also points out that while they admonish him, they have no problem supporting Zol’s writing. However, his mom points out that Zol’s GPA is fine and she is keeping up with her writing and studies.

However, Zon’s dad says this ultimatum is final, no matter how much they want to support him. His mom urges him to think about it. Zon gets up and leaves, but the worries of his parents are still pretty clear on their faces. As much as they love him and want to support him, it can’t come at the cost of other potential avenues for his future.

Later, we see Saifah playing the guitar, being filmed by tons of girls. Zon notices him and notes that Saifah is the person he least wants to see and that he thinks Saifah is a showoff. Then two girls come up to take a picture of Zon. Zon asks why and it turns out the girls ship him and Saifah. Zon starts to wonder why people are shipping him with Saifah.

Later, Zon’s friends are staring at him funny. It appears Zon told them his troubles. They tease and admonish him as if they were his parents, but the instigators are swiftly beaten. Zon calls them out for making fun of him and gets up to leave, but his friends calm him down and get him to stay. They ask what Zon will do and Zon says he has no choice but to study.

One friend suggests Zon write a Y fic like his sister since it’s trendy. One even suggests Zon write it about himself and his friend Zen as the ship. Zon’s friends are... well who am I kidding, this is normal in some ways.

The boys sit down to lunch but notice Saifah and his friends are coming. Wow, Saifah is a tol boy. Like jesus. He’s taller than Saint as Tutor. One of Zon’s friends drops his spoon and one of Saifah’s friends picks it up for him. He then notes that the gang walked in looking so handsome. However, Zon’s friend is ranting too fast for Saifah to understand.

Saifah asks why the boys are there and why lots of Comm Arts girls have also been coming to the Engineering canteen. Apparently Comm Arts canteen is closed, so they’ve been going elsewhere. (The other friend with Saifah is named Day.)

Zon’s friend then asks Tutor if he got into a fight with a senior at the football field. Tutor brushes it off, but the news comes out that it’s Fighter. Tutor asks why Zon looks upset and Zon’s friends fill in the blanks. Tutor points out that Zon was very good at everything but English in secondary school. Zon tells Tutor that he’s mistaken him for someone else. Saifah steps in hints that Zon isn’t all they think he is, even calling him useless. Zon asks who he’s talking about and Saifah asks him who he thinks he’s talking about. Zon gets up to face Saifah but notices their height difference and stands on the bench to get taller. Tutor breaks up the fight between them.

Zon says he’s got no problem with Saifah but why does Saifah always come after him. Saifah says he’s not doing anything wrong, but eventually everyone disperses and the situation diffuses.

Apparently part of the beef is that Saifah dated Zon’s ex-girlfriend. And I agree, that’s not a lot to be perpetually upset over. Zon’s friends smell blood and wonder if something more is going on. Zon says there isn’t and he just hates Saifah. Then Zon and Saifah have some weird stare down. Tutor interrupts, again. Saifah gives another part to the story. Apparently Zon interrupted Saifah while he was hooking up with a girl. Saifah claims he was going with the flow and did nothing wrong. Tutor asks if there’s anything else, but Saifah deflects.

We are then interrupted by a girl calling out for Tutor. Everyone seems to stop and stare at her. Her name is HwaHwa. Apparently she’s early for some appointment with Tutor. But then Fighter shows up and he addresses HwaHwa. Tutor then says he understand that HwaHwa must be here to tell him she can’t make the lunch date anymore. Tutor then says he understands and is a bit dismissive. HwaHwa gets a little sad and admits she’s worried Tutor would be mad at her. Tutor reassures her that he’s not and then Fighter takes her away.

Day then asks when Tutor will get back together with Fighter. WHAT? IS THIS AN EXES GET BACK TOGETHER STORY? OR WERE THEY FRIENDS BEFORE? Tutor says never and both other boys call him stubborn.

We then get a flashback to a year ago which is when Tutor joined Engineering. Fighter is called in to help write name tags. He writes them without complaints until he gets to Tutor. Tutor gives his name, but Fighter writes “Tor.” Tutor says it’s wrong and Fighter says, “I want to write it like this.” and gets confrontational. Tutor decides to let it go and walks off. The students are apparently given the task to get signatures (SOTUS flashbacks anyone?) Apparently the only signature Tutor is missing is Fighter’s. Fighter is fortunately present, but Tutor doesn’t want to go. His friends cajole him into going.

Tutor goes up to ask and Fighter puts Tutor to task to get his signature. After running laps, Tutor fights Fighter only wrote one letter of his name. Fighter tells Tutor that if he wants the rest, he’ll have to come ask him again. Okay, so was the sound effect supposed to tell us that this is Fighter’s Plan because he’s teasing Tutor because he’s interested?

Tutor is upset and tells his friends what happened. They tell him to calm down, but Tutor considers changing his faculty. At the wrist tying ceremony, Fighter is roped into participating. Tutor comes up and asks Fighter to tie the string on his wrist. He says that if Fighter doesn’t then he’ll leave. This catches Fighter’s attention and he asks if Tutor has the right to say that to his senior. Tutor stays silent, but finally Fighter ties the string on Tutor’s wrist, telling him to stay for at least four years. Tutor thanks him and leaves, but Fighter watches after him.

Fighter then starts to pay more attention to Tutor by giving him a drink. Tutor asks since when Fighter is that kind of senior and won’t take the drink until Fighter admits he bought it for Tutor. This back and forth is interrupted by HwaHwa and some other friend of hers. She notices Fighter and Tutor introduces him and takes the chance to tease at the same time.

Fighter gets back by taking the drink he wants to give Tutor and gives it to HwaHwa. It turns out HwaHwa’s parents and Fighter’s parents want them to meet and have dinner. Tutor asks if they know each other and HwaHwa admits they don’t. Fighter then makes his excuses and leaves. Tutor then tries to get HwaHwa’s attention to warn her about Fighter.

Six months later, Tutor asks HwaHwa what’s going on and she struggles to find the words. Apparently she and Fighter are dating, as Fighter tells Tutor. Tutor watches the pair be cute for a moment before packing his things and leaving.

After the recollection, Tutor is called back into the present by a student and he gets back to work.

Back with Zon, he wonders why his computer isn’t working properly. He then gets an idea and goes to Zol’s room. He calls out for her, but she isn’t there. He lets himself in and takes a look around at all the things she’s got up everywhere. Plenty of pictures of cute boys and cute boys together, other fluffy cute decorations, etc. Zon then starts to read the document Zol has open on her laptop. BIG NO NO.

Just as he starts asking himself what’s going on in her fic, Zol comes in and asks what Zon is doing, pulling him away from the laptop. Zon admits he wanted to borrow her laptop. Zol then asks if he saw her fic. Zon points out that she’s been using his name and Saifah.

Zon asks why she’s doing it, but then says she doesn’t need to answer. However, she must delete it and remove it from every website she’s published it on. (IMO, I’d feel the same if my sibling was shipping me with someone I hate/don’t get along with.)

Zol says the characters are not actually Zon and Saifah. However, Zon points out that all the details of the character’s lives are exactly the same, including friends and their names. What a coincidence! Zon insists on her deleting it and Zol stands up for herself and says she won’t because it took her a long time to write it. Zol then tries to insinuate that Zon is actually upset because people would know what’s going on between Zon and Saifah. Which as of now is nothing? So it’s really just your brother is not comfortable with you shipping him with his mortal enemy.

Zon calls her out and Zol insists they must be dating and just in a rough patch. Zon asks if she’s got a fever and tries to set the record straight again. Zol insists that she’s right and that she saw something. Zon asks what she saw. There’s a flashback of Saifah getting frisky with a girl and Zon walks up and interrupts. Turns out Saifah was getting busy with Faii, who is also dating Zon. However, she freely admits that she’s seeing Saifah at the same time. Saifah then asks what Zon will do, the two start facing down, but Faii then runs off.

Saifah asks what Zon intends to do. Zon asks if Saifah really knew she was seeing both of them at the same time. Some guy named TanThai is also involved. Saifah also says even if Faii is seeing Zon, it doesn’t mean she can’t talk to other guys. They’re just “seeing each other” not “dating.” Zon asks if Saifah is dating her, but Saifah says he’s been talking to her for three weeks and Faii asked him to come there.

Saifah then says no one wants to date a guy like Zon. Zon gets pissed and gets in Saifah’s face again and dares him to say it again. Saifah does easily. Their faces get closer and Zon punches him. However, as Saifah comes back up, they accidentally kiss. After pushing each other away, Saifah walks away first. Turns out Zol was there and that’s when her shipping started.

Zol then asks if Zon was shocked about her being there. Zon defends himself about how they were about to fight. Zon proceeds to make excuses and Zol is not convinced at all. Zol says he’s lying and Zon tells her to delete it. Zol asks Zon to swear that he never kissed Saifah and that he’s never thought about that moment. Zon swears it and Zol calls on all sacred things in the house that if Zon is lying, her fiction will become reality. Then lightning strikes and Zol gets excited that her fic will become real. Zon continues to insist and Zol runs off with her laptop.

Zon wakes up the next day, thinking he shouldn’t have sworn like Zol requested. However, he sees Saifah in his room and asks what’s going on. Saifah approaches telling Zon to calm down cause they’re a couple. Zon doesn’t believe him and Saifah continues his approach. Then Zon wakes up again and wonders what’s a dream and what’s real. He slaps himself and prays to not get involved with Saifah.

At the college, Zon sees two boys holding hands together being happy and starts wondering what’s going on. Later he stops to tie his shoe and TypeTharn(?) make a cameo. Zon wonders if he’s entered a fictional world.

Okay so this episode was pretty... wild? It was all over the place. I’m really on the fence about Zol and the SaifahZon paring. Even if Saifah is pretty. No, especially because Saifah is pretty.

But FighterTutor? GIMMIE DAT BECAUSE THAT IS SO TOTALLY RIVALS TO LOVERS/I PULLED ON YOUR PIGTAILS BECAUSE I’M TOO EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED.

#wei watches #why r U #why r u the series #spoilers

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