#we also did something re the pictures hung at all the stables but there’s still a couple more to finish

[noirandchocolate]

This playthrough we are being in Yiga uniform as much as possible. And having all kinds of hijinks.

Our best friend is always so supportive! Yeah! Let’s go make Master Kohga proud!

…I’m not sorry.

Time to terrorize Tarrey Town, wooooo!

Racist AND capitalist I see. For shame Ramella, I’m just minding my own business.

Daily reverence at our house where we also display our official pristine Eightfold Longblade of Blademasterness.

Hanging out with the boss man himself on his private boat which we then stole. Such an honor!!!

Oh dang really?????????

Contemplating this gay life.

No.

[endcant]

Hey, I hope ur well. I just found ur page searching about transitioning as a trans guy and singing, and I'm just curious to know if u still sing? And how it's going? I know of trans guys who can sing arguably better after T like noahfinnce and cavetown, but I'm just worried about it that's all. I haven't even started T yet cos I'm from the UK and our waiting lists are very long lol

hey there! i still sing, yeah. i have been taking a really low dose so really my range has honestly only drifted down like 5 or so semitones. i was a music major and ive sung with a lot of guys, trans and cis, and so i have a lot of thoughts on this topic. so i'm going to rant:

the biggest struggle ive noticed is a constant lack of familiarity with how each note feels in my voice day-to-day, since my voice is still actively changing. my solutions to this is are 1.) mostly singing accompanied (i play guitar, uke, and piano) so that i have a pitch reference, and 2.) recording all of my practicing

recording my practicing was something i was required to do in audiation classes in music school, but i only really did the bare minimum for my assignments because singing what was in my head was easier back when my range had been stable for years. practicing with recordings is more important than ever now because my voice is much more sensitive to strain than it used to be before i was on T. that means that if i sing the same thing over and over just to hear myself sing it, my voice will get tired and stop working VERY quickly. now when i practice, i record a run, and listen back a few times while making notes on my music sheet of what i need to fix before recording again. i also tend to avoid practicing at full volume if i have to practice the rhythm of a passage or something like that. sometimes i just speak a passage to get rhythm or pronunciation. anything to avoid singing too much or too hard while still singing enough to practice effectively. ALSO, my tongue and throat haven't been able to relax easily lately, so my warm-up is very different than it used to be to try to address that. my voice is still in the beginning part of changing, though, so what i've got going on is only part of the picture.

for a bit more of what's down the road, i have a lot of friends who are on T, a lot of whom ask me to assess their voice range (i was a music major and i guess they assume im the one to ask). the #1 thing ive noticed is that trans guys whose voice ranges drop significantly tend to get hung up on the fact that they can't sing the high notes they used to be able to sing, while ignoring the fact that they have access to an expanded lower register. i have some friends who have a lovely, rich baritone range, but they are really shy about singing that low because it's unfamiliar, and then they crack their voices struggling to sing notes that wouldve fallen within their former soprano range. ultimately, trans guys with their voice settled into a new range are just as capable of learning to utilize that range as anybody else, and the main block there is mental. a lot of us are just used to singing differently because we've been in a different range most of our lives, and the instinct is just to avoid singing to avoid sounding dumb, rather than practice and re-learn. also i think a lot of my transmasc friends (esp ex-sopranos) were way too pessimistic about how far their voice was capable of dropping, so they don't know what to do with themselves now that their voice change has exceeded their own expectations.

one thing that i think is important to remember is that cis guys have experienced a lot of the same struggles that transmascs on T have with their voices. i was a music major and we had some singing requirements for all music majors, even non-vocal majors, and it really seemed like the cis guys initially struggled a lot more with the basics of singing than the cis girls (and pre-T me) in the class. here are a few things that i gleaned from being in those classes and watching those guys learn to sing:

the biggest thing to consider, especially if you are a soprano before T, is that sopranos have a lot of notes in their range that resonate in their head. the difference between having a "proper head voice" and a falsetto high range is whether or not you're able to comfortably sing high notes that resonate in your sinuses most strongly. why is this a major consideration? when your voice drops and your most comfortable notes suddenly tend to resonate more in your throat and chest, that is WAY harder to hear than those high notes that buzz directly in your skull, especially in the details. going out of key is way more likely when you can barely hear what note you're singing compared to literally hearing your voice vibrating in your head while singing. my professors used to tell guys who struggled with staying on pitch to practice singing either with their hand in front of their face to direct the sound back to one of their ears, or with a piece of paper in front of their face. you could even practice singing to a bathroom wall or something like that. this has already become useful advice for me, since i can't hear the difference between my new lowest notes unless i'm either recording them or hearing the sound reflected off a surface.

another thing that my vocal instructor used to go on about a lot is that shoulder tension has a large effect on your chest voice. if, after your voice drops, you're keeping your shoulders tensed, you might not be able to sing all of the lower notes that your body is capable of producing. my vocal instructor used to tell some of the guys to literally practice singing while lying down??? i don't know if that solution actually helped with the shoulder tension, but the shoulder tension seemed like a real issue that was partially physical and partially psychological. ultimately, decent relaxed posture is something that is always important for singing no matter what your range is.

one more thing is that cis guys had their voices break and drop, too. whenever i or one of my transmasc-on-T friends struggles with singing, i point out that every cis guy who sings has had to deal with this too. it just happened while they were younger and every other guy around them was dealing with the same thing too. and, for them, it could've taken like 5-10 years. a lot of trans guys crank up the T as high as possible for as fast of a voice change as they can manage, and then they have a hard time adjusting to a voice change that only took 6 months or a year or even a couple years. it's gonna be hard to mentally adjust to a voice change when it happens so fast (relatively speaking), and when you're much more alone in dealing with it. all this is to say... yes, it takes a lot of effort to sound decent while singing during a voice change, and it is going to take a lot of effort to get used to that change once it's basically over, but it is something that is possible, since so many people sing despite having a changing voice. even cis women have their voices change over time.

to wrap this big long rant up, there is a lot of very speculative writing about the effects of T on the voice and the best way to retain vocal talent through the effects of T. some will say to avoid singing until your voice is done cooking, some will say that you should sing constantly to avoid losing range. my personal advice from where i'm at right now is that you should practice very gently, but sing as much as you need to to sound decent. having your voice slowly change on T is sort of like if you know how to play flute and every now and then someone replaces your flute with a very slightly larger and lower-toned flute. you don't even notice the change most days, but it makes you sound much shittier at flute if you don't practice before you perform, especially when compared to people who have had the same regular-sized flute for like 20 years.

whenever you get on T, just trust that it'll be fine, as long as you expect and accept that your voice is changing. sing if you want to sing, stop singing if it hurts, try to adjust your technique to minimize pain, and know that you'll be adjusting a lot more than you used to for awhile. it'll feel alien for a long time, but remember that one day your voice will settle into a range once again, and you'll be able to really get to know that new voice. and remember that most of singing well is just maintaining a good ear for pitch (something you can do by practicing any instrument btw), keeping healthy posture, and practicing enough to know what you sound like these days before you perform.

i'm sure everybody whos had T-induced voice changes will have their own opinions about this though, so don't take my word as gospel

[47crayons]

THE WICKED WITHIN—A COMIC SANS WIP REINTRO

!!!!! it's here :D the wip that started to consume me and has been continuing to do so since, now with a much better sense of what exactly is Happening

current tww taglist let me know to be +/- !! @a-completely-normal-writer @writing-is-a-martial-art @wannabeauthorzofija @magic-is-something-we-create @croctears @writeblrfantasy @opes-magnas @author-a-holmes @zoya-writes@fuyugomori @ink-fireplace-coffee

transcript is under the cut!!!

[transcript: a powerpoint presentation of black text on white background, written entirely in comic sans.

start slide one the top left corner reads in red, "warnings (most relevant) war, death, drugs (& addiction), poison". in the center, "the wicked within", and underneath it in smaller font, "a comic sans reintro by @47crayons". the comments around the entire slide read "a family that is so found!!!", "gang rivalry :D and gang content in general", "crime found family basically", "childhood friends to STILL FRIENDS", "all queer cast :p", "eat the rich (not quite, but it’s the right sentiment aldskjfls)", "kickass women, yeah bay bee", "nuanced relationships between different groups :D", "morally grey characters!!!", "so many different governments!!!", "a (mostly alsjflksdj) stable relationship!!!" end slide one

start slide two in the beginning of time… there were four gods: eltenjer, he/him, earth; skari, he/him, fire; aenged, they/them, air; thilda, she/her, water. i didn’t /mean/ for them to have genders, but a quiet breeze whispered “psst. i use they/them.” in the beginning? so you mean… they’re not there anymore? kind of! the gods need followers to survive, and after several unfortunate events, they lost the majority of their followers. the aforementioned unfortunate events: the great ruination, in which natural disasters caused several years of famine and other hardship. the restoration era, in which renovation led people to believe they can live without the gods. if the gods are dead, what’s the point? the gods aren’t /really/ dead, closer to dormant. they can’t actively interact with the mortal realm, but IF they had followers, they would come back to life. oh. did i mention that they control the magic. end slide two

start slide three the dormant gods who can't do... anything control the magic??? hey, no one said magic always has to work. foreshadowing alert huge foreshadowing alert. let’s talk about how magic works, shall we :D people use the Spirit to do magic. people have a Vessel (representation of stamina or how much Sprit can be used at once, can be trained!). people also have a Strength (a type of magic that works well with the user, these have varying frequencies which also depends on location). there’s too much i could say here, but the important thing is the main characters’ Strengths. the right depicts an image of a flowchart showing that gods need followers and produce sprit. people need spirit to do magic. end slide three

start slide four okay but where are we??? where could the magic be so fucked? well, here, of course! the left side shows a line art map, split into five parts going clockwise: portingdale, worchester, the hooks, elderwood, unlabeled. the legend shows that there are mountains in portingdale, forests in elderwood, and rivers that run from portingdale to everywhere else. the place where the four labeled regions meet is called the Inner City. the text on the right reads. welcome to Kjer! there are 3 districts. but wait! there are five? sections? and one isn’t even labelled. worchester used to be a district,,, but it left after the war began. the unlabeled section is the disputed region (re: war). let’s talk more about this war. elderwood wanted easier access to water (see: the rivers in the Wetlands) elderwood & portingdale have been fighting there on and off for over half a century. the hooks has three wards: west (hella rich), south (lower income), north (somewhere in between). end slide four

start slide five whomst. skip to the next slide if you want the actual characters. character basics: the unnecessarily-winded-and-cram-a-lot-of-lore-in version. in the North Ward of The Hooks, there are three main gangs. Kaer Styen, meaning “wicked ones”, Ghetfaer Skarnen, meaning “trickster lords”, Ad Knesten, meaning “the grumbles”. that was so many capital letters i don’t like capital letters alskjdflksjd. they have rivalries and conflicts from time to time, but it’s pretty rare. the tww cast is kaer styen !!! their main means of profit is a drug called jezdin. relieves physical and mental pain. lethal in high. quantities/ when tampered with. can also be addictive. they operate out of a dingy tavern-like building, and they live upstairs!!! okay so this is purely for vibes. how did u know. end slide five

start slide six the Gang. literally :3 Kaer Styen, my beloved. the first thing in each of their bios is their Strength (re: the magic slide). artbreeders!!! i fixed quite a few of them, but my artbreeder skills are questionable at best. this slide is split into three columns. the first column shows a white person with short, brown, curly hair and a firm, but not angry, facial expression. len, he/him, pan. Shifter (can manipulate physical properties). cynical, very cynical (because he has killer instincts). “oh people are dying? am i dying? are you dying? why should i care?” in a relationship with cal. the second column shows a person who appears east asian with long, black, wavy hair and fair skin. chloe, she/her, aroace. Chemist (chemistry but magical). literal archery god. also she’s so quiet it’s SCARY. seems welcoming, emphasis on /seems/ she’ll destroy your ass. knows what you’re feeling. she just. knows. the third column shows a white person with dirty blonde hair. they are smiling. cal, they/them, bi. Whisperer (can persuade others through speech/music). so casually funny all your burdens disappear for a hot minute. gets very attached very deeply. grew up in Portingdale which becomes Important later. end slide six

start slide seven cont. also they have piercings!!!! maybe i will make some picrews later (listen, i KNOW i’ve said this before but. maybe i’m for realsies this time, okay?) this slide is also split into three columns. the first a smiling white female with light blonde hair. eden, she/her?, demi lesbian. Healer (healing magic <3). seen hell and doesn’t want others to suffer. still believes in the gods’ existence. we Don’t talk about her awful parents. raised by a lovely woman in the South Ward, known as Nana. this eye (left) is almost PURPLE which i didn’t do on purpose but is honestly such a cool idea. the second column shows a partially smiling black man with short curly hair. jereth, he/him, gay. powerful life magic thing (will be spoilers if i talk any more). joins them at the beginning. honestly kind of scared of them (who wouldn’t be), but wants to live up to expectations. throws himself into stuff to avoid Thoughts. the third column shows a woman with brown skin, black wavy hair, and a small smile. she is NOT a member of Kaer Styen, but i’m talking about her here all the same. adalaide, she/her, bi (i didn’t like the e in adelaide alskdfjlsj). Melder (metals and the like). heir to the Portingdale throne (assuming her dad doesn’t disown her). Cal’s ex from a few~ years ago she’s still a lil’ hung up on them. technically an antagonist but i love her. so all my characters are queer sue me </3 end slide seven

start slide eight some semblance of plot? coming right up!! the four (jereth isn’t there yet!) are attacked in the Inner City. turns out it’s portingdale soldiers. and then they discover that portingdale has been poisoning the southern rivers (affects worchester and the south ward) because worchester doesn’t really contribute to Kjer as a whole. word gets out, and elderwood, naturally, is even angrier at portingdale (remember, they've been at war). so, they try to stop portingdale from being power hungry enough to poison the entirety of a country while learning about why worchester is so isolated while ALSO trying not to get killed by everyone who hates them. end slide eight

start slide nine memes :> the first is the meme of spongebob reading a sheet of paper and burning it. the paper reads, "going into worchester by yourself is going to get you KILLED", and spongebob is labelled "chloe". the second is the levels of brain template labelled "jereth". from the weakest to most powerful: "trying to figure out his magic", "doing it by accident", "saving everyone's lives". the third is the sleeping person and brain meme. brain: "you're going to portingdale". cal: yeah, i know. brain: you'll see adalaide. cal's eyes are wide open in fear. the fourth says "corporate needs you to find the difference between this image and this image". the first image says, "family", and the second one says, "len, chloe, cal, jereth." eden says, "they're the same picture". the fifth is the spiderman copycat meme where jereth is copying len. end slide nine

/end transcript]

[nettlestonenell]

Gentle Readers, living in the heart of our county’s horse farms--this takes up A LOT of our time in the car...but still we persist with all diligence

Please prepare yourself for an update post that contains more than a fair amount of commentary about tack and The King: Eternal Monarch.

This is a follow-up to the post “I am a pre-teen girl obsessed with horses”

You may recall that the pre-teen part...I lost some time ago.

Update #1: My neighbors, who own the boarding stable and show barn, sold their property! (It’s literally been on the market off and on ever since I moved to Chez Nell). This is TERRIBLY exciting, b/c the sellers had sort of reached their ceiling of what they could reasonably continue to afford to maintain and add-on to the property (for example, they had never managed to swing installing any kind of A/C in the massive show barn), and the property was bought by what seems to be some AMAZING folks with the following bona fides (to start): a CHA Certified Instructor w/ 25 years experience teaching, and it will be a USPC Certified Riding Center! The new owner graduated from Foxcroft and is a Certified Horsemanship Association (CHA) Level 4 (Master) English/Jumping Instructor and CHA Level 3 Western Instructor.

To stop spouting qualifications: I am VERY excited. I am near enough to walk to this facility. Little Cap shall see himself enrolled directly!

Update #2: You might think, Citizen of the Republic and Subjects of the Kingdom, that I had completed both my fangirling and my obsession with Maximus’ double saddle.

You would be wrong.

In fact, in my subsequent re-watches, I’ve actually taken MORE terrible-quality screenshots.

The lovely and horse-alert @lafseanchai​ had suggested what was in-use on the show for JTE might have been a sort of “cheater” stirrup.

(an example, this one to accommodate a child rider behind the adult) (there is also a version that hangs from the saddle horn in front)

To refresh our minds: double stirrups above and below

Below are some further images I managed to find (some from BTS videos):

If “cheaters” are used, they are to the front of the existing pair, but were not hung from the horn. This amazing saddle has enough hooks and latches to work for California Closet, so affixing them elsewhere would be no challenge.

Blurry picture, hoping it might show something more to someone else than it does to me--

Seems to show an added seat behind the cantle, a second cantle, if you will, draped over in a matching white.

The crudely done outline (by me) shows the ornamented pommel, standard cantle, and again, what seems to be a second cantle (presumably so that Lee Min Ho wasn’t seated to ride on the back edge of the saddle/the horse’s bare back)

This saddle is so amazingly ornate--I’m not even sure what I’m seeing here in the area of where JTE’s front stirrups would have attached. The saddle top even better reveals the “second cantle”. But the straps in front of the visible stirrup--could they be for JTE’s stirrups?

Here, the saddle (before the alterations made for double riding) in shot when Lee Gon is going to lift Tae-Eul up. Single set of stirrups, one seat, two cinches. Isn’t she a pretty saddle?

Interestingly (to me) the BTS footage reveals definitively that Lee Gon DID ask Tae-Eul if she’d ever ridden/sat a horse before. It WAS in the script.

You cannot expect me to end this post without showing this shot of HOW Lee Gon was able to lift JTE so high like a feather and sit her on Maximus in the graceful, effortless way he did. [He was lifting her to at least the height of his own shoulder, and his hold on her looked minimal) Thanks for the beautiful scene, TKEM--and thanks, too, for revealing the truth behind the fictional lie!

[ginnyzero]

Completely Harmless Ch. 8

Completely Harmless An SSO SilverGlade Re-imagining Story (Or Fix it Fan Salt fic) By Ginny O.

When Lily and her friends wanted to buy horses and were directed to the Silverglade Manor and its myriad of problems, they didn’t expect to start a revolution. They were just a bunch a stable girls. Completely harmless. Right?

A/N: Things are only canon if I say they’re canon. Pre-Saving the Moorland Stables compliant for the most part. Posted in its entirety on my website. Posted in 2000 to 4000 word bits here. Rated T for Swearing Word Count 177,577

Chapter Eight Designer... Duck Coops?

 The ducks had gotten out and were all over the gardens and vineyard.

“They must be feeling better,” Elsa said dryly.

Tyra put her hands on her hips. “We can’t have them running all over taking over the joint,” she said.

“Even if we are the Silver Drakes,” Regina giggled.

“We’re going to have to coop them up somewhere then until we have a good water feature to keep them occupied.” Lily bit her lip.

“Someplace quiet,” Abigail said.

“And it needs to match the Manor so the Baroness doesn’t get mad at suddenly owning a lot of ducks!”

They all burst into giggles.

“All right, to the internet!” Jennifer said.

Grace pulled out her phone and started searching.

“Maybe the library has some ideas.” Theresa suggested.

“Let’s take a gander,” Regina started.

“Gander are geese,” Elsa pointed out.

“And we better look up composter ideas too. I know that a lot of the manure goes to the local farmers,” Pauline said but she looked like she was fretting. “Along with the extra grape skins and seeds that don’t get used. There isn’t a lot of those since some have to be dumped back onto the dirt to keep the right salinity and the rest get used in making the oil.”

“Right,” Lily rubbed her forehead. “You know, maybe we should introduce ourselves before we get too carried away here.”

“Well, at least, we need to run these ideas past Linda and Judy,” Pauline said.

“I agree,” Tyra nodded. “They are in charge of the stable.”

“Do ducks really fall under stable?”

“We’ve got a lot of ducks. We might need to make several,” Tyra fretted. She wrung her hands.

“Doesn’t one of the gardens outback have another water feature,” Lily asked. “It’s also dry as a bone. But we can mention to the gardeners that we need spaces for the ducks.”

“I hope Agnetha is open to ducks,” Pauline murmured.

They split up again. One group to go round up the ducks who got in the damnedest places. Another group to go research about duck coops and composters. And a third group to go look for good quiet places to put the duck coops.

Linda caught them returning the quacking ducks to the huge tubs.

“Escapees,” Elsa said.

Linda raised her brows. “Uh huh.”

“We don’t want them to get sick again,” Brittany put her hands on her hips.

Tyra wiped her brow. “Would it be okay to put in a duck coop somewhere?”

“We’ll make it nice!” Brittany said.

“Just to keep them from running all over during the night and maybe getting eaten by weasels or raccoons,” Tyra added.

“That’s not a bad idea.” Linda pushed up her glasses. “Let me run it past the Baroness.”

Lily ran out. “We’ve got plans!”

Linda started.

Lily stopped, rested her hands on her knees and panted bending over. She held her phone out to Linda. “Here are some ideas for duck coops. They’ve got to be low to the ground with a wide door and they like straw.”

Regina came running up next. “You know, there’s a nice area behind that little temple thing near the empty reflecting pool. It’d be great because they’re going to want to swim anyways when they want to go free range.”

Pauline rode up after her. “Yeah, there are two water features down behind near the old Gardener’s cottage. If you really want to call it a cottage. We could put another coop down there if we need it.”

Linda looked at them. “You girls don’t do anything halfway.”

“Linda! Linda!” Tyra ran out. “Where do you think we can put a composter?”

“Gardener’s cottage!” Pauline said.

“Oh, excellent!” Tyra beamed. “Should have thought of that. The gardeners will be the ones wanting it the most.”

“A composter,” Linda said slowly.

They pointed at the piles of dead leaves and thick thorn vines and the roots they’d pulled out.

“Right. Composter,” Linda said. She gave Lily her number and Lily sent her the photos. “Okay, I’ll go talk to the Baroness. You stay here.”

“We’ve still got plenty of gardens to weed out,” Lily said.

“I bet we could make it look like a little Greek temple,” Tyra said.

“And then put some barrels around it with straw in them,” Brittany bounced on her toes.

“Then, then, have you seen the ‘castle tower’ types. They’re so cute.” Lily said. “We could make it a rounded dome type with columns instead.”

Linda shook her head. “Give them an inch. They’ll take a mile,” she muttered and walked off.

Linda was very careful to broach both topics of the duck coops and the composter as needs for the manor long term. Making suggestions about where they could go and that they would blend in with the manor’s overall look rather than being something slapped together.

The Baroness listened. She pressed her lips into a thin line. Her hands she folded in front of her on the desk.

“We wouldn’t want to simply buy something from J-Kea,” Linda said weakly. “And there is a lot of garden debris to take care of.” The Baroness had informed her that morning about the Inspector’s demands. Linda showed her the pictures.

The Baroness’ lips twisted and Linda couldn’t tell if it was a grimace or a smile. “We definitely wouldn’t want something from J-Kea,” she said.

“You’ll have final say on all the plans,” Linda reassured her.

The Baroness reached for a paper and started writing. “Very well. I’m assuming you have the hands lined up already.”

“Yes, some girls from the Moorland Summer Camp are helping out,” Linda said with a wince. She didn’t know the Baroness would feel about it at all.

The Baroness’ hand paused above the paper. “Thomas sent them?”

“No. Um, Justin did,” Linda tucked hair behind her ear. “They wanted to buy horses and, well, they just started coming back to help out.”

“Hmm,” the Baroness said. “I’d like to meet them.”

“I’ll pass it along.”

She finished writing. “Here is your budget.”

Linda’s eyes widened.

“I want final approval.” The Baroness nodded.

Linda gulped. She took the paper. “You have it, Lady Silverglade.”

The Baroness returned to her paperwork. There was plenty of it to get G.E.D. off her lands for good.

Linda knew that it was her dismissal. She got up and left.

The girls convened around her, taking off gloves and leaning against tools.

“We have a budget,” Linda said sternly. “No J-Kea. And everything has to be approved by the Baroness.” She cleared her throat. “She’d also like to meet you.”

“Tomorrow morning,” Lily said. “I think that will be good.”

Linda pushed up her glasses. She wasn’t sure what to make of that.

Tyra texted Linn down at the Arena.

Lily bit her lip. “So, we need actual plans.”

“Designer duck coop?” Regina wrinkled her nose.

Pauline sighed. “I hate to say it.”

“Anastasia,” she and Lily said together.

Lily texted her.

Her phone rang.

Lily set it to speaker. “A designer… duck coop?” Anastasia sounded intrigued and offended at the same time.

“Ducks are getting caught in the oil fields spillage from the G.E.D. Until it’s cleaned up they need someplace to stay safely.”

“And duck eggs are good eating,” Anastasia said. “What kind are they?”

“American Pekin,” Grace said. “Good egg layers, Dame Anastasia.”

“Don’t call me Dame, darling. It makes me feel so old.”

“Sorry,” Grace squeaked.

Linda spoke up. “The Baroness has given her approval and a budget.”

“We might need more than one coop, but we want to talk to the gardeners first before deciding on where they go.” Lily added.

“Any luck with that?”

“There seems to be a husband and wife pair that might suit, Bjorn and Agnetha,” Lily said.

“Agnetha is a wonderful gardener. Overbearing, but wonderful. Of course, with my mother, you’re going to need someone with a strong will so that the new gardens aren’t a photocopy of the old gardens. How tiresome,” Anastasia said. “Hmm, do you have any ideas? Meet me at the Jorvik Mall Café. I could use a good coffee. I’ll have a list of names by the time you get here.”

“Thank you, Anastasia. Oh, um, Aaron is considering putting in a wine and gelato or frozen Greek yogurt bar in the Wine Cave.” Lily added.

“He had an idea.” Anastasia sounded aghast. “Well, we’ll have to get together to work out how to coordinate the menus if we’re going to get that restaurant on the roof actually going anywhere. Ciao, darlings.”

She hung up before they could say good-bye.

“Speaking of overbearing,” Elsa mumbled.

“No joke,” Melody agreed.

Lily sighed.

“You have Anastasia’s phone number,” Linda said blankly.

“We better sluice off and change into something better before meeting her.” Lily looked down at herself.

“The only better thing we have is the Silverglade Clan outfit,” Pauline said.

“If we wear it twice, she’s going to call us out.”

“Then that should encourage her to get us some new clothes that the Baroness will like.” Pauline raised a brow.

Lily turned to Linda. “Meet us at the bus stop in half an hour?”

Linda blinked.

Regina looked at her nails. “You are the manager and have the budget.”

Linda bit her lip. “All right, half an hour. But I’m not changing.”

“No worries,” Lily said. She hadn’t expected Linda to change anyways.

--

Anastasia looked Lily and Pauline up and down and sighed. “Not that old thing again.”

Lily shrugged. “She likes it.”

Anastasia rolled her eyes. “It’s time for her to expand her fashion horizons. And you are?”

“Linda Chanda, the Silverglade Equestrian Center manager,” Linda said.

Anastasia already had coffee for them. So, they all sat down right away.

“All right, darlings, catch me up on what is happening at dear mother’s bumpkin estate,” Anastasia drawled.

So, they did, quickly.

Anastasia nodded. They showed her the pictures. “All right, I know the fellow. Not his usual bailiwick, but he’ll get the job done. I’ll give him a call before you leave here and give you an introduction so you can meet him today and he’ll ship you the materials and plans tomorrow. Most likely to Fort Pinta.” Anastasia sipped her coffee. “Now, darlings, I had an idea for that rooftop. There were plans to put in a fine dining establishment. Nothing happened of course. Mother brushed it off. So, I think we should have a chef call. I want you to find a bunch of chefs from around South New Jorvik County and perhaps a manager. They can present their different menus to my mother and let her choose what she feels is the best food to serve at the manor.”

Lily and Pauline blinked rapidly. “A chef’s call,” they said blankly.

“Yes, set up a bunch of tables. Have them bring their menus. Do a tasting. Whoever gets the approval of my mother, gets to open a restaurant on the roof.”

“Shouldn’t she have some say in that?” Linda asked. Her heart felt quite low in her chest. This was much too fast.

“If my brother can have an ice cream bar, I can have a restaurant.” Anastasia waved her hand breezily.

“Right,” Linda said voice even weaker.

“I’ll make it okay. You just get me the chefs,” Anastasia said.

Lily and Pauline looked at each other. “Okay,” Lily said slowly. “We haven’t really explored much of the county though.”

“Now is your chance,” Anastasia said brightly. “Surely somewhere out in the boonies is a bright young chef looking to make their mark.”

Oh boy, Lily thought. “We can look,” she said.

“Excellent, then I’m sure it’s all in capable hands.” Anastasia smiled. “All right, you need to go to Aideen’s Plaza, my contact is there.” She handed them a paper with the name.

“Thank you,” Lily said.

But Anastasia was already on her phone and waving them away.

They took the tram to Aideen’s Plaza in silence.

Once they got off, Linda spoke up. “The apple really doesn’t fall too far from the tree does it?”

They burst into giggles.

They went to a furniture store. The man wasn’t overly surprised to see them. He was expecting them after all. They explained their ideas showing him the pictures and their budget. He got it right away. Lily texted Regina to get pictures of the areas they thought might make good places for duck coops.

As soon as he saw them, he brightened and used them to make sketches.

“The winery does have barrels,” Linda said helpfully.

The man just laughed.

Linda took pictures of the designs and texted them to the Baroness. The Baroness texted back her approval of the plans.

“All right. I’ll get in contact with my suppliers and ship the materials to Fort Pinta by tomorrow afternoon,” the man said.

“That would be great,” Lily said. “Thank you.”

“It will be just for the one by the Wine Cave. Getting the stone for the one down in the gardens will take longer. And you’ll have to tell me if you need another one by the riding arena or not.”

“We will,” Lily said. “We do want to talk to the gardeners first before building.”

“Then I’ll get an order in on hold for the materials and once you have approval of the gardeners, fussy folks gardeners, you get a hold of me and I’ll them shipped as close as I can get. Stone’s heavy.”

“Deal,” Pauline said. “The closest village would be Silverglade. There’s a post office there.”

“Then, that’s where I’ll direct the stone. Just have a truck or plenty of horse power to pick it up.”

“We will,” Lily smiled at him. They left. Lily wrinkled her nose. “Now, where in heaven’s name are we supposed to find chefs?”

Pauline laughed. “I’ll take you around,” she said. “I know all the towns.”

Linda nodded. “If you do chores at the different stables while you’re out, it will cover transport costs. And you can get to know the different stable masters.”

“Good idea,” Lily said.

They took the bus back to Fort Pinta and that’s where Lily and Pauline started their chef quest.

FOR THE ACCOMPANYING IMAGES PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE MY WATERMARK AND CONTACT INFORMATION. THANK YOU. I get it. Some of you might get excited and want to see this stuff in the game, especially the clothes, tack, and pets. However, the only way I want to see this in the game is if I get paid for it. If I see it in the game and I’m not paid for it, there will be hell to pay. You think I’m salty. I’d be angry. Personally, I’m not going to send this info to SSO. If you do, leave my contact information there! Don’t give them any excuses to steal.

Now, I’ll know you haven’t read this note if you leave me comments about how ‘salty’ I am about the game and if I hate it so much I should do something else. I am doing something else. It’s called Mystic Riders MMORPG Project. Mystic Riders however is a very baby phase game. You can check out our plans on the game dev blog. (Skills, Factions, Professions, Crafting, Mini-Games, 25+ horse breeds!) If you know anyone who would be interested and has money or contacts about game making, direct them to the blog.

[wrestlingisfake]

Final Battle preview

Jay Lethal vs. Cody Rhodes - Lethal is defending the Ring of Honor world championship.  Cody is the current IWGP United States champion, but that title is not at stake.

Cody’s contract with ROH has reportedly expired, and it’s looking more and more like he will leave ROH altogether to participate in the new All Elite Wrestling venture.  So this is likely to be his final big ROH show, where he does the job to the champion on his way out.  Then again, there could be a swerve, where Cody and ROH secretly work out a short-term agreement and he wins the title to confuse fans who’ve been following that story.

Lethal is sort of ROH’s franchise guy, in the sense that he’s been a headliner during a period where all the other headliners have been leaving the company.  It’s a tough spot for him--he doesn’t give me that tippy-toppy guy feel, because I can’t shake the feeling that he’s only at that level because everyone better than him is gone.  Perhaps Cody can help by giving him the rub here, but he’s really the last star left to do that.  In 2019 Lethal is going to be king of a mountain that feels smaller than it did when he returned to ROH in 2011.

I think it’s at least possible that Cody could surprise us all with a title win.  But in the long run, the destination is Jay Lethal vs. Matt Taven, and since Taven is doing the “real world champion” gimmick Lethal should be the actual champion headed into that feud.  So I’m picking Lethal to retain.

Frankie Kazarian & Scorpio Sky vs. Matt Jackson & Nick Jackson vs. Jay Briscoe & Mark Briscoe - Kazarian and Sky (two thirds of SoCal Uncensored) are defending the ROH tag team championship in a three-way ladder match.  The title belts will be hung above the ring and the first team to retrieve them will be the winners and champions; ladders will be provided at ringside for the participants to use however they see fit.

Like Cody, the Young Bucks (Nick and Matt) are expected to be on their way out of ROH, and this match feels like their swan song.  In a story that hasn’t gotten as much attention, tough, SCU’s Kazarian and Christopher Daniels have also not re-signed with ROH, and they could be on their way out as well.  (I can’t find anything on Scorpio’s status.)  So aside from the fact these three teams have been feuding over the tag title for months, this may be the last chance to see any combination of them in the ring together.

ROH has generally protected the ladder match stip so that it feels more like a “this is the only way to settle it once and for all” deal, similar to cage matches and Texas death matches back in the old days.  Consequently, their ladder matches feel more climactic and important than those in other promotions, because you know the participants aren’t just going to rematch a month later.  So this is probably going to be a good time.  It may even be booked to close the show.

If I’m ROH, I want this match to put over the guys who are staying, and put them over hard.  The Bucks and SCU should be crumpled all over ringside while the Briscoes celebrate with the tag belts.  Kazarian and the Bucks should quickly vanish from television so the Briscoes can gloat about running them out of the company.  That’s how I’d do it, but ROH’s vision never seems to quite line up with mine...

Jeff Cobb vs. Adam Page - Cobb’s ROH television championship is on the line.  Page is--say it with me one more time--on his way out of the company with the rest of the Elite, so logically he should lose here.  These guys are both moving up the ladder quickly, so it ought to be fun to see them against one another.  But I would be very surprised if Page wins here.

Bully Ray vs. Flip Gordon - This is an “I quit” match, so there is only one rule in effect--once the match starts, it cannot end until the referee hears one participant verbally submit by saying “I quit.”  (Actually, ROH kinda already killed this stipulation by running an “i quit” match this week that ended as a no-contest due to outside interference.  I guess we’re supposed to act like this is WWE and pretend the bullshit TV finish can’t happen on the PPV.)

Bully Ray (best known as Bubba Ray Dudley in ECW and WWE) debuted in ROH in 2017 as a babyface veteran.  He dramatically “retired” in 2018 and was appointed to an enforcer role, but then he turned heel and mouthed off about all the flippy young guys ruining wrestling.  This concept has long since been done to death by WCW and TNA, but that didn’t stop ROH from giving it a go with Flip as the quintessential flippy young guy.  Bully has been getting heat on Flip for months, notably including a recent bit where Bully gave Flip a caning but Flip kept getting back up for more.

Flip is arguably the hottest babyface in ROH, and he almost certainly will be if/when the Elite and SCU leave.  The problem is that he’s the kind of white-meat babyface (like Ricky Steamboat, Tommy Dreamer, Daniel Bryan, and Johnny Gargano) where it’s so easy to get heel heat at his expense that the bookers lose sight of when it’s time for him to shine.  The caning angle perfectly sets up this match to blow off the feud, but it’s so perfect that they’re probably wondering if they can do it again, but even better.  For Flip to get anything out of this, he needs to win the feud and move on--he can’t just keep playing the lovable midcard loser getting bullied by heels forever.

This is the right time and place for Flip to take everything Bully can dish out, never quit, and then rally back to expose Bully as a coward and a quitter.  We’ll have to wait and see if ROH can figure that out.

Christopher Daniels vs. Marty Scurll - Scurll earned the right to challenge the ROH world champion in a match where he pinned Daniels to win, and now he’s putting that title shot at stake here.  Daniels is doing an angle where SCU is trying not to get kicked out of the company, and his teammates have the tag title to protect them, but he needs his own insurance.  Of course, in real life Daniels has not signed a new contract and it’s looking like he and Kazarian actually plan to leave soon.

Scurll, like the rest of the Elite, is expected to be departing ROH, but not on the same timetable.  He signed a short-term extension to keep him around through April, evidently to guarantee his participation in the April 6 Madison Square Garden show.  No one else from the Elite has signed such an extension, and I have to think ROH offered Scurll something good enough to sorta kinda break ranks.  I would not be surprised if they promised him a run with the world title and maybe even the world title match at MSG.  It’s pure speculation, but it would make sense.

Even if Daniels is on his way out and even if Scurll is earmarked for a title run, that doesn’t mean Scurll has to win this particular match.  But the safe bet is to pick the guy who’s staying over the guy who seems to be leaving.  And until we know more, that suggests Scurll wins.

Dalton Castle vs. Matt Taven - Taven is doing the old “real world champion” gimmick with an unsanctioned title belt, and he’s “defending” it here in this match.

A year ago, Castle won the world title and looked to be on track to be in the title picture throughout the 2018.  But various injuries caught up to him and he had to drop the belt to Jay Lethal in June.  It’s still not clear if Castle is fully recovered, or if he’ll ever get back into contention for the title.  The outcome of this match may indicate if he’s being pushed back to the top or held back in a “struggle to get back to the top” storyline.

For a while, Taven was probably best known as that one guy from The Kingdom that isn’t Adam Cole or Mike Bennett/Kanellis.  Then he relaunched the stable, which felt a bit like Tully Blanchard trying to start his own Horsemen, but okay.  Then he lost his hair in the main event of CMLL’s anniversary show, which seems to have kicked off a renewed heel push for him.  With so many other guys leaving, Taven has a big opportunity to step up.  The outcome of this match may indicate if they’ll step him up sooner rather than later.

The fact Taven is putting his fake belt up for grabs before a program with the actual champion kind of telegraphs the finish.  I don’t seriously believe Castle is going to win Taven’s belt and feud with him over it in the undercard like Ted DiBiase’s million dollar championship.  The logical endgame for this gimmick is Taven challenging Lethal, so Taven needs this win to get there.

Sumie Sakai vs. Madison Rayne vs. Karen Q vs. Kelly Klein - Sakai is defending the Women of Honor championship in a four-way elimination match; the loser of each fall is eliminated from the match until the last participant left is the winner and champion.

I have to give ROH credit for establishing a women’s division, but they’ve got a long way to go to catch up with WWE, or even Impact.  I follow ROH pretty casually, but I can still work out all the major happenings with the men.  The women, however, feel like blank slates with no noticeable storylines or personas.  I kinda know Madison from Impact, and Sakai is clearly the aging veteran proving she’s still got it with a length title reign.  If the company is serious, they need to get to a point where I don’t have to ask who people like Karen Q and Kelly Klein are.  That may be difficult to do when they run like six big shows a year and maybe one women’s match on each of them.

At this point the safe bet is to pick Sakai.  She should put over the next big star for the division, but I don’t think ROH has any idea who that will be.

Zack Sabre, Jr. vs. Jonathan Gresham - Gresham declared he wanted to prove he’s the best technical wrestler today, and Sabre answered he challenge.  It feels like ROH is trying to elevate Gresham, but that doesn’t necessarily go as far as putting him over a key New Japan guy.  This could become one of those deals where Gresham is feted merely for losing a well-fought battle.  For Sabre this is just one last stop before arguably the biggest match of his career at Wrestle Kingdom, so it’s hard to imagine him losing here.

Kenny King vs. Eli Isom - This is set to be the opening match.  Kenny is so ageless--and perennially working his way up from the bottom of the card--that I keep forgetting he was the guy from Tough Enough season 2, where they went to South Africa and everybody talked about how he got laid.  Good for you, Kenny!  Anyway, he’s 37 now and he’s still around.  I’ve never heard of Isom and I’m pretty sure he’s just a jobber at this point.  I’m going with King to win.

[mysticscanlations]

Unlucky Mansion Chapter 71 Translation!

Read the raws here: Unlucky Mansion

EJ: RUN! RUN!!

EJ: HURRY!! HANG IN THERE A BIT MORE!

EJ: WE'RE ALMOST THERE, WE'RE ALMOST THERE!

WJ: URGH—

EJ: IT'S 1:01!

Top SFX: Fall

Bottom SFX: Huff (x2)

EJ: HURRY INSIDE!

EJ: You're probably going to be announced at the very end, so think about your acceptance speech in the meantime and...

SFX: Huff (x2)

EJ: Hold on. You can't go in looking like that. Come over here.

WJ: You're not going in with me?

SFX: Tug (x2)

EJ: What are you talking about, I need to head back to work now. I'm gonna stop by a customer's to make an alibi and then I'm returning.

WJ: How professional....

EJ: If I were really professional, I wouldn't have come to bring you here.

EJ: Do well.

SFX: Open

Speaker: —with the writers that represent this era, growing and gaining prestige...

Speaker: Before I go, I'd like to thank—

Speaker: Thank you.

Gray SFX: Clap (x2)

Red SFX: Smack

Gray SFX: Clap (x3)

JH: You did well in coming.

SFX: Clap (x5)

WJ: Thank you.

Woman: Yes, next is the award-winning work that, in an unprecedented move, earned the votes of all the panel judges for the top award...

Woman: We'd like to invite Kwak Woo Jin, author of <The Land Of The Lotus Eaters>, to the stage.

-Please give him a round of applause.

SFX: Clap (x9)

Blue SFX: Flash

WJ: Yes, um... My writing is still lacking, but I'm thankful to be given such a big award.

WJ: And I'm also thankful to the many people that have helped me all this time...

-... … I,

WJ: sometimes think that life is a cruel lottery.

WJ: And that God told my little brother, “Maybe next time.”

WJ: There was once a time where my brother, intoxicated with medicine, hung himself on a low railing. That awful experience became our entire family's nightmare.

WJ: It felt like things couldn't get better no matter how hard I tried, and I blamed myself for it.

WJ: In some way, it could be that I needed to blame myself.

-My brother's powerful tragedy existed in my life, and the power of writing brought the madness from that tragedy.

WJ: Every night in my dreams, I heard a grating voice.

WJ: 'If it weren't for your brother, you'd be nothing.'

WJ: I'm looking for the answer. In order to write the conclusion to this tragedy, I'm continuously looking inside myself.

WJ: We might be lonely when we're apart, but let's not be cruel when we're close.

-Each of your most evil side and disgusting forms, and whenever you're feeling weak, angry, or lonely—

WJ: You are deluding yourselves into thinking that you thoughtlessly know everything about each other because you've seen all of those sides.

-You secretly blame yourselves for the crumbling relationships in the sea of people, or resent yourself...

WJ: In the Odyssey's 'Land of the Lotus Eaters', although the lotus was a fruit that blocked the path back to your family and caused you to forget...

WJ: In some way, because we take our twisted sense of responsibility and poke at each other,

WJ: you don't know if you have to take a step back and start over in a different place.

WJ: I think that this story is the last of this tragedy.

WJ: During this time, I was constantly tortured by a sense of guilt that wasn't mine.

WJ: My brother told me to eat the lotus fruit today...

WJ: And I have readily decided to eat it all.

EJ: It's snowing so much...

Girl: Wow, you're right.

Girl: I have to go to the factory soon for an examination, but I really don't want to go....

EJ: It might be difficult, but take the subway today.

Girl: Even if they're empty words, tell me not to go~

EJ: No.

Girl: Wah...

Friend: See you tomorrow~ You've worked hard today as well!

EJ: See you tomorrow!

Box: After the award ceremony ended, everything around us was noisy for a long time.

Box: Many articles came out. The novels that Kwak Woo Jin wrote under his brother's name were re-examined,

Box: and Woo Jin's family emerged as a news item frequently.

KJ: Hyung, I saw the article about you. Is Woo Jung doing well?

WJ: Don't act like we're close.

Box: The biggest topic, though, was a picture from the award ceremony,

Box: and everyone was concentrating on the fact that a young and good-looking writer won the grand award.

CM: EW!!

Though bubble: Although that was for a very brief moment.

Man: Author-nim, hello! We have a few questions—

WJ: GET LOST!!

Box: I heard that Woo Jung's surgery was a success. After checking to see that there was nothing left after a week of nerve stimulation,

Doctor: How is the progress on the constant pain?

WJung: It's good.

Box: he finally finished up the final surgery.

Box: After Woo Jung recovered,

Box: from what I saw, not much changed about him.

WJung: What, do I have to scream in joy or something? My personality's usually like this.

Box: But he had more things that he needed to accomplish on his own,

ST: (Writing with his left hand)

Box: and he slowly started preparing for his future.

WJung: As I thought, I should be a civil servant. It's the most stable job.

WJ: Okay, do what you want to do.

Box: In any case, while everyone at the Lucky Mansion were going about their noisy lives together...

Box: Chae Min made an explosive announcement.

CM: I decided to go to Austrailia.

Everyone: WHAT?!

1st rated comment: When Woo Jin said that his brother offered him the lotus fruit and he readily ate it,  I felt emotional and moved. ㅠㅇㅠ It wasn't that they had to understand each other, but to throw away the sense of guilt and find the peace that comes afterwards 8ㅅ8 It's such a relief that Woo Jung's surgery ended safely ㅠㅠ

2nd rated comment: It's been so long since we've seen Chae Min all prettied up ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

3rd rated comment: Everyone, be happy ㅜㅜㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ It's so nice seeing them happy, the acceptance speech was cool, too.

[kujo1597]

Actually, That Was a Good Thing

The day has come for Peridot to return to her home, her mind more at peace save for the stuff with her mother. But she’s in a good enough place to be able to live with Lapis. With any luck Lapis also benefited from their separation and isn’t constantly angry.

You can also read this on AO3.

Chapter 8

“Are you sure you’re ready to go back?” Garnet peered over her sunglasses at Peridot’s reflection in the rear-view mirror. “You can stay for longer.”

“Thanks but no thanks, as odd as it sounds I miss Lapis,” Peridot kissed Max. “And I think this little guy does too.”

Garnet raised an eyebrow. “Okay, but remember, you’re welcome back any time.”

“I’ll remember.”

“Good.”

The rest of the car ride was largely silent apart from the radio, Garnet’s not much of a talker and Peridot’s fine with silence.

Garnet parked infront of Peridot’s duplex and helped her bring her belongings inside.

Max immediately ran off to find Lapis, it took a bit for her to come. She smiled when she saw Peridot.

“It’s good to see you again.”

Peridot returned the smile. “Good to see you too. How are you feeling?”

“Not bad actually,” Lapis replied. “I broke up with my girlfriend.”

“I kind of had a feeling, you got another piercing.”

Sure enough, an eyebrow piercing was added to Lapis’ extensive collection.

“Geeze, didn’t know I was rooming with Sherlock Holmes,” Lapis said with a smirk.

Peridot laughed. “It actually took a few breakups for me to figure that out.”

“So you’re saying you should stick to coding?”

“Yeah probably.”

The two shared a light-hearted chuckle but not for long. As soon as Garnet came in Lapis’ expression darkened.

“What is she doing here?” Lapis snarled.

“Lapis,” Garnet remained calm.

“I’m a bit lost,” Peridot was caught in the middle.

“She is why I was falsely imprisoned FOR MONTHS!”

“Which I deeply apologize for,” Garnet was unfazed. “Even a day would have been too long.”

This didn’t calm Lapis down a bit, if anything she got even angrier.

“Calm down,” Peridot put her hands on Lapis’ shoulders. “Let’s talk about this.”

“What is there to talk about?” Lapis snapped at Peridot. “Why do you even know her anyway?!”

“Amethyst lives with Garnet.”

“Lives wi- seriously?! You’re dating one of my enemies!”

“Wha-” Peridot was taken aback, “-enemy? Amethyst had nothing to do with that! She just lives with someone who made a mistake. And Garnet apologized and I’m sure she cleared your name.”

“I did,” Garnet was as calm as always. “Lapis, you shouldn’t take this out on Peridot. She didn’t know, and neither does Amethyst.”

“Rumours spread, people talk, especially in this tiny-ass town! Nobody will hire me!”

“That’s very unfortunate.”

“Ya think?!”

“Maybe I should make us tea,” Peridot said awkwardly. “You two can sit down and talk and sort this out.”

“Tea doesn’t fix everything!” Lapis was livid.

“I know but talking will,” it took a lot of fortitude for Peridot to stay calm. “This likely won’t be the only time you two will see each other. You need to get to the point where you can look at her.”

“Tea sound nice,” at least Garnet agreed.

“Stop being so calm, it pissed me off!” The other party... not so much.

“And you need to calm down,” Garnet’s tone actually changed. “Your roommate is doing what she can to absolve this. But that won’t work if you don’t make an effort.”

Lapis gave in. “Fine, I’ll do it for Peridot. I’ll be civil. But I’ll never forgive you.”

Garnet shrugged. “I’ll take what I can.”

The shrug didn’t help Lapis’ mood one bit. But she did agree to be civil.

It didn’t take long for Peridot to pass tea around to everyone, but that stretch of time was tense to say the least.

Lapis took a sip of the tea. “You’re too good at this, you made my favourite.”

Peridot smiled. “I’ve had a lot of practice.”

“Yeah, because you’re living with a crappy person.”

“Don’t say that. And it’s not like you’re the only person I’ve played therapist for.”

Lapis sank into the couch with her arms crossed, she glowered at Garnet. “So, where should we start?”

“We could talk about what you’ve been up to,” Garnet replied and took a sip of the tea. “Tea’s lovely by the way.”

“Nothing. I paint pictures and sell them, I can’t get a job but at least people will buy my art,” it took a lot for Lapis to not snap at Garnet.

“It’s better than nothing.”

You could cut the tension with a knife, Peridot tried to ease it a bit. “Lapis, why don’t you show Garnet some of your paintings? Who knows, maybe she knows somebody who might be interested.”

“It’s possible,” Garnet said.

Lapis’ eyes narrowed. “No, I’m not that desperate.”

“That’s a shame,” Garnet’s tone was as even as ever.

The room got quiet again.

It lasted an excruciating ten minutes until Garnet stood up.

“Thank you for the tea. I need to go to work.”

“Oh, okay, bye Garnet,” Peridot waved.

“Goodbye Peridot, Lapis.”

Lapis didn’t say anything and Garnet left.

Peridot sighed. “That could’ve gone better... then again, it could have gone worse too.”

“I guess she’s not completely horrible,” Lapis muttered. “Still infuriating though. Does her tone ever change?”

“Nope,” Peridot replied with a giggle. “That’s just one of her quirks. I can see how it annoys you.”

“And you spend three days with her.”

“You know I enjoy my silence. Garnet’s great to have around when you’re reading or working.”

“I’ll bet.”

“So, are you ready to talk about why you broke up with your last girlfriend?”

Lapis rolled her eyes. “You’ve always sucked at changing subjects. And you know why we broke up. We were really bad for each other. I took everything out on her. At first she yelled back but eventually she stopped and started to practically grovel at my feet. It made me feel like garbage and confused me so I decided to break it off.”

“Do you know why her grovelling made you feel bad?”

“Probably because I’m horrible enough to break somebody. I broke you too.”

“You didn’t break me, we were both going through some things so I needed to step away for a bit to regroup.”

“How’s your aunt doing anyway?”

“She’s stable,” Peridot frowned. “I’d like to visit her but it’s just not in the budget. My grandma and dad have been keeping me up-to-date at least.”

“Being broke sucks.”

Peridot nodded to the sentiment.

“Well, she’s your aunt, if your stubbornness and tenacity are genetic I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“The women of the Diamont family don’t die easily, that’s for sure.”

Lapis snorted. “The name doesn’t lie.”

“There’s actually an interesting story about how they got that name...”

The rest of the day continued like nothing had happened.

Peridot slowly opened her eyes feeling like something was missing. Without thinking about it she glanced to her side.

It was then that she realized that the ‘something missing’ was Amethyst’s body not being next to her.

Funny, how quickly she got used to her girlfriend’s presence. 

With a small sigh Peridot gently coaxed Max off of her tummy then checked her phone.

Amethyst’s never up this early but she could have sent something very late at night.

Sure enough, she did.

Ams: How was you fist day back home?

Peridot smiled and sent her reply.

Peridot: FINE GARNET MADE THINGS A BIT MESSY BUT LAPIS GOT OVER IT QUICKLY ENOUGH

She read and re-read the text hoping to catch any errors. But she was still groggy.

Peridot decided that if Amethyst couldn’t read it she would ask for clarification.

After a few of her morning stretches Peridot put her foot on then headed for the kitchen.

On the way there she looked to see if the light to Lapis’ art room was on.

It wasn’t.

With a frown Peridot stood outside of Lapis’ bedroom door and listened.

It was silent.

Did Lapis disappear again?

That wouldn’t be good... Lapis tends to get into trouble when she does that.

Max started wagging his tail like crazy and bounced his way to the kitchen with Peridot close behind.

In the kitchen was Lapis mixing something a bowl near the counter.

Lapis hardly ever makes breakfast...

“Good morning Lapis,” Peridot was careful not to startle her. “Have you gotten any sleep yet?”

“Yep,” Lapis almost looked cheery. “I went to bed just after and and it only took two hours to fall asleep.” Her new cheeriness faltered a bit. “I’m trying to be less of a piece of shit. Maybe then I’ll be able to successfully date.

“You’re not a piece of filth.”

Lapis burst out laughing. “You’re physically unable to swear, aren’t you?”

Peridot giggled. “That’s just my upbringing.” Her expression turned serious. “You know, you don’t have to completely change yourself to find the right partner.”

“Isn’t that what you did?”

“I re-evaluated and changed myself for my own sake. The constant anger and frustration on top of all my stress was bad for me. And lashing out just made me lonely which didn’t help my mental state either.”

“Maybe that’s why I want to change too.”

“The fact that you brought up dating worried me is all.”

Lapis sighed. “Yeah. That’s part of it. But yeah, all the anger and frustration sucks. I’m done with it.” The fatigue of years of lashing out and anger showed on her features. “I’m tired, Peridot.”

Peridot hugged Lapis. “I know, it’s exhausting. If there’s anything I can do to help, just tell me.”

Lapis’ body stayed limp. “Just teach me how you relax. I’ll try anything.”

“I already have, but you’re welcome to join me. Just keep in mind that not everything will for for everyone. There’s no magic cure or formula.”

“I won’t ever get better, will I?”

“You’ll always have good days and bad days,” Peridot conceded. “Depression doesn’t just go away. Your goal should be to have more good days than bad.”

“Geeze, you’re not very optimistic, are you?”

“I’m a realist.”

Lapis smiled. “I might need a realist right about now.”

“I’d be happy to be your realist.”

“Thanks Peridot.”

They ended their hug and Lapis put pancakes on the griddle.

They were delicious.

The day was mostly normal but Lapis hung around Peridot more than usual to get a better feel for what she does in her day.

It was really boring, Lapis decided that a life like Peridot’s would probably drive her nuts.

The horrible headache from being up so early didn’t help matters either.

Lapis, Peridot, and Max watched TV together in the evening.

“How do you do it?” Lapis asked. “How do you wake up every morning at eight, go through your boring routine, then go to bed at eleven?”

“Well, my life’s always been regimented so it’s pretty easy for me,” Peridot raised an eyebrow. “And my routine isn’t boring, I played with Max and after our shows I’ll play video games.”

“Okay fine, playing with Max was fun; but everything else,” Lapis blew a raspberry.

“Rome wasn’t build in a day, changing your lifestyle won’t be easy.”

“I dunno, maybe copying you isn’t how I should do things. You just have everything sorted out so I thought that if I did what you do I can be like that too.”

Peridot had one of those smug little smirks of hers on her face. “I’m glad you realized that. Take cues from my life but don’t copy me exactly. You need to find your own way.”

“I hate this,” Lapis groaned. “My life wasn’t always complete shit but one little thing kicked off this spiral down the toilet.”

“Ah, that was almost poetic. Perhaps you can unwind by writing proses.”

“Fuck off you smartassed gremlin,” Lapis started to chuckle. “You’re the only decent thing to happen to me. Max looked up at Lapis, she sighed a good-natured sigh. “And the dog too. Can’t believe that mop wriggled its way into my heart.”

“D’am, you love us.”

“I can still kick you out, you know.”

Peridot didn’t retort like she normally would and this set off warning bells in Lapis’ head.

“Hey, something happen?”

“Not yet, my mother used to tell me that she’d make me ‘disappear’ whenever I didn’t meet her standards, and you reminded me of that just now.”

“But I’ve made that joke before.”

A heavy sigh. “My mother’s been on my mind lately. She might be coming to town.”

Lapis sat up with her back straight. “Oh shit. You don’t know for sure though, right?”

“No, I don’t. But the possibility is looming over me,” Peridot’s expression showed a tiny bit of hope. “It’s been over a decade, maybe she’s changed and wants to apologize. I could just be getting worked-up over nothing.”

There was no hope on Lapis’ face. “Anything’s possible but I don’t think somebody that awful can change. You need to be careful.”

“I know, I’ll minimize how much I travel alone, and if she arranges to meet me I’ll take precautions. But she’s so big, Lapis. I don’t know anybody who can protect me from her.”

“You could always get a gun.”

“I’d probably hurt myself or somebody innocent. Or go to jail! She can afford better lawyers than I can!”

“You wouldn’t have to fire it, just point it at her to scare her off.”

“Lawyers, Lapis!”

Lapis raised her hands. “Okay, okay, no gun. Just stay near people for the next while. And you’re practically a hermit anyway so she can’t get to you.”

“I... I know, I’m being irrational, I-I just-”

Lapis put her hand on Peridot’s shoulder. “It’s okay, I’d probably react the same way if a certain ex of mine told me she’s coming to town. Your mother did terrible things so being scared is natural.”

Peridot sniffled and wiped her eye with the heel of her hand. 

“Look, I know things suck right now and you’re scared,” Lapis blushed, “but there are people here for you. You’ll be fine.”

Without a thought Peridot hugged Lapis very tight. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t do anything,” Lapis’ blush got worse. “Now why don’t you take your mind off of it? Poor Max’ll have his work cut out for him if you don’t cheer up a bit.”

Peridot released her grip on Lapis. “You’re right,” she kissed Max on the head, “he’s good at his job but there’s no reason I shouldn’t try to make it easier for him.”

“Okay,” Lapis grabbed a controller, “what game do you want to play?”

Peridot made her choice and they played until late in the night.

Jaune Diamont’s possible arrival still lingered in the backs of their minds.

But the gaming session did ease it some.

As Peridot was brushing her teeth she heard her phone ringing. She rushed out of the washroom and answered it.

“Hello?” In her rush she didn’t spit out the toothpaste.

“Peridot?”

Peridot pulled her phone away from her mouth so she could spit. “Hey dad.”

“Did I call at a bad time?”

“No, I was just in the middle of brushing my teeth. So, uh, how are you?”

“I’m doing well,” he sighed, “but I have news. Some good and some bad. Which should I start with?”

“You know I like to end on a high note.”

“Okay,” he paused. “How do I say this? Well, your mother’s company is opening a store in Ocean Town now that it’s not on fire. Your grandma told me that Jaune knows you’re in Beach City so there’s a chance that she’ll show up.” Angel sounded as nervous as Peridot’s been feeling.

“I actually already knew that she knows where I live,” fear sat in the pit of Peridot’s stomach. “But I didn’t know about the store.”

“Please dear, be careful. I can’t help you and the last thing I want is for you to get hurt again.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t plan on walking alone and the residents of Beach City take care of each other.”

“You’re not scared?”

“Oh I’m terrified, but panicking won’t help anything. What will help is careful planning.”

 Angel let out a sigh of relief. “You’ve always had a good head on your shoulders. But please keep me up to date. I’ve never met your friends so I can’t help worrying.”

“Garnet is a police officer and don’t ask me how, but the mayor owes Steven some favours. I have friends in high places.”

“Sorry, who’s Steven again?”

“He’s,” this explanation was actually kind of tricky. “It’s complicated. He’s the son of Amethyst’s friend but this friend died so Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl are his guardians. But not technically because his dad has custody. But it’s hard to raise a child in a van so Steven doesn’t live with him.”

“Why does the father live in a van?”

“Honestly I have no idea. Apparently he sees no need to live in a house. Steven visits almost every day so he still spends time with his son.” Peridot laughed. “I somehow got myself involved with a ‘unique’ family.”

“Sounds like it. Oh! Speaking of family, how about I give you the good news?”

Peridot smiled. “Does it involve Aunt Auréle?”

“You’ve got it,” Angel was obviously smiling. “She gets released from the hospital tomorrow. Auréle made a full recovery, which is amazing considering her age.”

“I’m glad to hear it. That’s actually a lot off my mind.”

“I had a feeling it would be. Well, I should probably let you go. It’s kind of late where you are. And I just got home from work so I need to eat.”

“Oh, okay. Goodnight, love you.”

“I love you too, goodnight sweetie.”

Peridot hung up with her spirits lifted. 

Her mother’s arrival being practically confirmed sucked but at least things weren’t all bad.

Maybe she could pull through like her aunt did.

[usamotorscycle-blog]

Church Of MO – 2004 XB12S: Cheddarheads Strike Again

Whenever he gets a chance, John Burns likes to ramble on about how much he likes Buellmotorcycles. The old ones, the new ones, it doesn’t matter. He’s a fan of Erik Buell’s vision and its execution. Case in point? JB’s review below of the 2004 Buell XB12S. A self-proclaimed lover of the XB9S, riding a bigger, better version of the XB-S around Road America left a big smile on his face. Hell, he still speaks fondly of it today. Check out what he has to say about it below, and for more pictures of the bike be sure to click on the photo gallery.    2004 XB12S: Cheddarheads Strike Again By John Burns Apr. 20, 2004 Like S. Langhorne Clemens, who came in with Halley’s Comet and went out with it, I, JB, had my first racetrack ride on a Buell (RR1000, circa 1990) and maybe my last on one the other day at Road America up in the Great White North upon the new XB12–both R and S versions. I may be hanging up the spurs, kids. I’m 43 and no longer on the Up escalator of the ol’ learning curve. I’ve always been a danger to myself, of course, but on Road America’s tight little “Motorplex” track, which is like a paved version of the 80cc track at Lake Elsinore MX Park and where we rode the S version of the bike, I also took out the correspondent for the Canadian version of “USA Today” (that’s got to be some excellent bedtime reading).

Johnnyb @Elkhart Lake, demonstrating the distinctive Burnsian style of lawn mowing. That’s right, just as I was thinking to myself, damn these Buells turn good on the brakes… I locked up the front and took the guy out like a bowling ball heading into a tight little right. I also took a handlebar in the chest, and for the first couple of weeks afterward it hurt almost too much to smoke. Hence, I was all set to announce my retirement when the phone rang just now: Erik Buell calling to tell me don’t feel so bad, Johnny, our timers said you were going faster than Don Canet at the time… This is of course, complete and utter crap and I bet Tripp (Tree’-up) Nobles put him up to it–and yet I shall grasp at this straw and believe it forever.

A nice new longer stroke takes the XB to 1203cc. Check the fatter exhaust headers… It could be true, if DC was testing low-rev carburetion during one of those laps where I cut the course. In any case, I’ll take it and in a few years will no doubt even believe it. It’ll be excellent when Canet and me are in the retirement home. As you may have noted in these pages, I was already probably the biggest fan in all of motojournalism re: the XB9S (and to a lesser degree the clip-on equipped R model). Mainly what’s going on with the new XB12 is stroking that loveable old lump of an air-cooled twin from 3.125 inches to 3.812 (leaving bores at 3.5 inches), thereby increasing displacement to 1203cc. A set of stronger new knife-and-fork connecting rods carry tough new pistons through those elongated strokes. A new larger-bore (49mm) intake tract with a pair of revised injectors stoke the intenal combustion proceedings, while 1.75-inch exhaust pipes replace the 1.5-inchers of before and expire into a new muffler with an electronically controlled valve like the ones on Japanese literbikes. The end result of all that, Buell says, is 24 percent more torque than the XB9 in a flatter curve, and 103 crankshaft horsepower. It’s kind of like the difference, Erik Buell grins, between a big-block Corvette and a small-block. American engineering.

If you see a thing like this getting bigger in your mirrors instead of smaller, it’s a good idea to stop for gas or something… Apart from that, the XB12’s (and the XB9’s as well) get a few detail improvements but nothing particularly major (save the $1K bump in price to $10,995). If you’re wide you’ll appreciate mirrors on two-inch longer stalks. There’s a tougher new final-drive belt, a longer peg on the shifter, lower passenger pegs… er, I think that’s it. Aesthetically, the 12’s sport very cool “translucent amber” wheels which sort of glow in the dark compared to conventional gold anodized ones, and to an easily amused by shiny objects person like myself, the effect against the dark gray fuel-in frame is very nice–particularly set against my favorite thing about these bikes, which is that they are tiny.

Well it’s certainly no SV650 or VFR Honda, but there is a certain appeal. I could be biased, maybe I’m just overtaken by a wave of patriotism or nostalgia or something. My wife is from Wisconsin, but I like the place and the people there anyway. New bikes normally get introduced around January / February, which generally means press introes have to happen in Mediterranean or southern hemisphere climes, and I’m not complaining but the whole thing always winds up feeling a bit alien and jet-lagged. Buell does things differently, and so it’s the exceedingly lovely, green Road America in mid-June–right down the road from the East Troy Buell digs–and never mind that one of the fastest road circuits in North America might be the last place you’d want to showcase anything powered by what’s basically a Harley-Davidson Sportster motor.

Here, the XB12R goes around a corner. After all the highly regimented Japanese-bike launches I’ve been on, this one was like a family picnic, with Paul James the Buell PR guy showing un-PR-guy speed on the track, and Erik would’ve been out there too if not for a ruptured disc in his back which did not keep him from giggling like a big kid the whole time anyway. Even if the new XB doesn’t have the very latest in motive power, the very advanced things it does have in its favor mean it’s still an absolute blast to ride around the track, and 140 mph on the clock into Canada Corner, at the end of the long, tree-lined backstraight doesn’t seem particularly slow to me in my advanced state of decay. Like the XB9 but 24 percent moreso, the XB12 is sort of sneaky fast: The red zone on the tach is set at 7000 instead of 7500 rpm, and so there aren’t really any aural clues to back up the visual ones of the scenery hurrying past. Whatever. The slightly heavier yet still short-wheelbased, quick-turning little mass-compacted Buell is still one of my favorite bikes to flog whatever the venue. Dunlop D207 tires are passé at this point, even déclassé–and yet when I looked to see what kind of sticky tires we were riding on after a couple of sessions, there they were (special versions for Buell). It’s just such an excellently balanced little machine. (Buell says suspension for XB9 and XB12 is identical.) And just like the XB9, the thing is completely unruffled by bumps, and completely stable come hell or high water–amazingly so for a bike with a 52-inch wheelbase, 21-degree rake and 83mm trail. Must be some sort of highly advanced engineering going on here…

Here the XB9S, with actual handlebar and lower footpegs, goes around a corner. Through Road America’s big fast Carousel, the XB could carry as much speed as you could drum up on the way in, feeding in more throttle all the way around and not sliding so much as gravitating outside by the time you get to the exit. There toward the end of the day I was dragging the right footpeg feeler quite a bit–the only thing on the Buell you can drag without crashing on street tires, I think, and only when your knee puck is molten. I was thinking more aggressive brake pads might be a good thing right up until I locked the front in my aforementioned “accident” over at the kiddie track. Shifting is still the Buell Achilles Heel, and I have to say it seems a little worse on the heavier-crankshafted 1200. I mean, the bikes do shift, but with more effort than a Ducati or Japanese bike. Our XB9S got better with a few thousand miles on the odometer, and I also know you won’t be shifting the big 1200 nearly as much on the street as you do on the track, especially on a long, fast one like Road America when you’re trying to catch somebody… it’s all fine until you start trying to squeeze that last little bit of time out of the tube; if you’re not paying attention (and using the clutch a little bit), it’s easy to get hung up between second and third. I hate to say it, but you get used to the way the things shift, really, and the bikes have so many redeeming features… Page 2 By Johnny B Struggling for acceptance, getting it, having it yanked back from time to time… I think I learned more about people, and how things really work, in my year here at MO than in all the other years at other occupations. It was very interesting to go from a big print magazine to MO, with its somewhat checkered past and slightly irreverent editorial policy. When the shiznit hits the rotary oscillator, you find out who your friends are, and I like to think I’ve learned to recognize the signs for future reference. Look out for people, for example, who have tremendous respect for you. Be wary of those who are doing things to you for your own good, who’d like to help you but whose hands are tied.

And on a personal note… Trust people whose actions show respect, and those who actually do things to help you. “No Time for Sergeants” and Catch 22, it turns out, were not farces. If you are starting out in a professional career, study them carefully. When you rock your canoe, it sends ripples out across the lake, ripples that rock other peoples’ canoes. My favorite people in this business are the boat-rockers, all of whom are destined mostly to remain upon the lower rungs. Sad? Maybe not. I’ve had more fun over the years with those people than I ever dreamed possible–riding Hayabusas at Catalunya, R1’s at Valencia (and Catalunya too, come to think), Mille R’s at Homestead, pursuing lactating Croatian strippers in Rimini, hurling BMW’s into rushing mountain streams.

Burns’ Anthology I must’ve been on a couple hundred bike launches and extended jaunts while the Adults were stuck politicking in smoky backrooms, doing whatever they do to preserve the fiefdom. The internet is a revolutionary medium, period. As a low-tech sort of points and carburetors guy myself, it continues to amaze me how many people don’t believe it. Want to see your own work in print? Hell’s bells man, write it up, click on News, then Post Article — and you can be a published author the next day on MO, there to be instantly pilloried and underpaid just like a real magazine writer. Speaking of which, do you think for a minute that the run-of-the-mill motorcycle magazine writer has got anything on the Aerodynamic Head? On The Highwayman? Two words: Reader Feedback. Who wouldn’t pay $11.94 to watch Boehm and Kpaul square off in a battle of wits? Oh well, story of my life, really–big ideas, no execution. I know MO and a hot mug o’ Starbucks will be right there beside me in my new cubicle. I hope to continue to do some Cycle World stuff too. A man’s got to know his limitations, and maybe I am a better writer than I am an Editor. All I want is a slice of motorcycle now and then, not the whole damn pie. Say, what sort of retirement speech is this turning into anyway? I’m not sure if I’m retiring or not, really… but in case I am all I want to express is a huge and humble Thank You to all of you who caused my head to swell over the years by liking my “work” and taking the time to say so. Words can’t express how cool it’s been for a law school dropout seriously considering the US Postal Service to have backed into such a fantastic line of work, Phil Schilling you old dog. So, ah, wish me luck in the ad bizness. I may be back with my tail between my legs in a month or two. Thanks to the internet and MO, when I say I’ll be in touch I mean it. Go back to your homes, and if you make as good citizens as you have Morons, you’ll all do fine. —  

Here is some guy named Craig Jones. He does reasonably proficient wheelies and things of that crazy nature.

Right, old-fashioned. Uh-huh, underpowered, whatever. This is a helluva fun motorcycle engine, and American too.  

This wheel tire/assembly, complete with Buell’s Zero Torsional Load brake, is really really light. Simplify… Anyway, does Buell still market these as “Streetfighters” or what? In the typical Californian canyon, I’d wager, the XB12 should be just as excellent a tool and even better than the XB9–particularly the S model. (Personally, I can’t think of a reason to buy the R over it.) Right, it only revs to 7000 rpm, but there’s probably just as much torque at around 3000 rpm. In the new kink they built following the Carousel at RA, I can’t think of a bike that would be easier to turn in, flick back to the right instantly, and whack the gas back on hard, with less fear of disaster. The whole Buell just sort of rotates within its own axis–it’s that Buell Trilogy thing in action, low yaw and pitch and all that, achieved by keeping things at the ends exceedingly light–and the low-revving beast just goes Bwaaaa… and spins the tire a little without SPINNING the tire, and off you go down the back straight. At the end of the day, the Buell might not be the fastest way around the track if you’re an advanced rider, and the more advanced you are the bigger the gap would grow… but the big But is that if you’re not Mat Mladin or somebody, and have no real ambition of being him, the Buell is just easy to ride and hugely forgiving. Okay, forgiving up to a certain point of stupid, which I managed to exceed. But on the street, where there aren’t any high-speed straights–the tighter the road, the more fits this XB12 will give bigger more powerful bikes. Reliability-wise, I refuse to go there with you people again.

Craig says to keep your weight over the front when you’re burning up rear tires. The quality of these new Buells, beginning with the Blast, is apparently greatly improved. I have noted, maybe along with you, that scattered among the Buell “Reader Feedbacks” which slam Buell reliability every time the topic comes up, is a near-complete, yawning dearth of complaints from people who actually own new ones. At the end of the day it’s just refreshing, after a brat and some beers, to stroll from the lovely Osthoff Resort on the lake to downtown Elkhart Lake and pound some more beers with the ex-college football player types like Tim Osterberg and Dan Grein who built the thing, and who now have excellent raccoon eyes from being in the sun all day in fashion eyewear. Who knew those guys had brains too?

7000 rpm is good for a big-block Corvette. “It’s all about the low-rpm and the midrange, and in those departments it’ll be tough to top a 1203 Buell…” Abe Askenazi’s of Syrian descent by way of Mexico, but assimilating nicely and, in fact, breeding in the Wisconsin wild. More cheese curds anybody? I remember dancing, even, with a third-grade teacher in a tube top, and after that it all became a blur. In today’s corporate climate, the whole Buell attitude is hugely refreshing, and in fact it’s that David v. Goliath attitude that made the XB possible. Nobody told Buell they couldn’t build this bike. If Honda had tried to build an XB9/12, it would’ve wound up being a Pacific Coast with fuel and oil stored in an outrigger or something equally watered-down. And the fact that Buell does it with such an anachronistic engine makes it, to me, that much more interesting, and that much more an accomplishment. No doubt there’s a liquid-cooled Buell down the road, who knows when? In the meantime, I’m not getting any younger, I’ve got no time to wait–and anyway I like the air-cooled Ducati Monsters better than the quattrovalvole ones. Here in the world, it’s all about the low-rpm and the midrange, and in those departments it’ll be tough to top a 1203 Buell with a few choice aftermarket pieces, of which there are about a million. For those who say an air-cooled engine can’t pass emissions, Buell points out this one comes in “substantially below 2004 CARB/Euro II limits without secondary air injection or catalyst.” If I picked a Motorcycle of the Year for the Actual World, I have to tell you I think this one would be it. On the other hand, now’s the time to get a smokin’ deal on an XB9S… Click to Post

[totallymotorbikes]

Church Of MO 2004 XB12S: Cheddarheads Strike Again Whenever he gets a chance, John Burns likes to ramble on about how much he likes Buell motorcycles. The old ones, the new ones, it doesn’t matter. He’s a fan of Erik Buell’s vision and its execution. Case in point? JB’s review below of the 2004 Buell XB12S. A self-proclaimed lover of the XB9S, riding a bigger, better version of the XB-S around Road America left a big smile on his face. Hell, he still speaks fondly of it today. Check out what he has to say about it below, and for more pictures of the bike be sure to click on the photo gallery. 2004 XB12S: Cheddarheads Strike Again By John Burns Apr. 20, 2004 Like S. Langhorne Clemens, who came in with Halley’s Comet and went out with it, I, JB, had my first racetrack ride on a Buell (RR1000, circa 1990) and maybe my last on one the other day at Road America up in the Great White North upon the new XB12–both R and S versions. I may be hanging up the spurs, kids. I’m 43 and no longer on the Up escalator of the ol’ learning curve. I’ve always been a danger to myself, of course, but on Road America’s tight little “Motorplex” track, which is like a paved version of the 80cc track at Lake Elsinore MX Park and where we rode the S version of the bike, I also took out the correspondent for the Canadian version of “USA Today” (that’s got to be some excellent bedtime reading). Johnnyb @Elkhart Lake, demonstrating the distinctive Burnsian style of lawn mowing. That’s right, just as I was thinking to myself, damn these Buells turn good on the brakes… I locked up the front and took the guy out like a bowling ball heading into a tight little right. I also took a handlebar in the chest, and for the first couple of weeks afterward it hurt almost too much to smoke. Hence, I was all set to announce my retirement when the phone rang just now: Erik Buell calling to tell me don’t feel so bad, Johnny, our timers said you were going faster than Don Canet at the time… This is of course, complete and utter crap and I bet Tripp (Tree’-up) Nobles put him up to it–and yet I shall grasp at this straw and believe it forever. A nice new longer stroke takes the XB to 1203cc. Check the fatter exhaust headers… It could be true, if DC was testing low-rev carburetion during one of those laps where I cut the course. In any case, I’ll take it and in a few years will no doubt even believe it. It’ll be excellent when Canet and me are in the retirement home. As you may have noted in these pages, I was already probably the biggest fan in all of motojournalism re: the XB9S (and to a lesser degree the clip-on equipped R model). Mainly what’s going on with the new XB12 is stroking that loveable old lump of an air-cooled twin from 3.125 inches to 3.812 (leaving bores at 3.5 inches), thereby increasing displacement to 1203cc. A set of stronger new knife-and-fork connecting rods carry tough new pistons through those elongated strokes. A new larger-bore (49mm) intake tract with a pair of revised injectors stoke the intenal combustion proceedings, while 1.75-inch exhaust pipes replace the 1.5-inchers of before and expire into a new muffler with an electronically controlled valve like the ones on Japanese literbikes. The end result of all that, Buell says, is 24 percent more torque than the XB9 in a flatter curve, and 103 crankshaft horsepower. It’s kind of like the difference, Erik Buell grins, between a big-block Corvette and a small-block. American engineering. If you see a thing like this getting bigger in your mirrors instead of smaller, it’s a good idea to stop for gas or something… Apart from that, the XB12’s (and the XB9’s as well) get a few detail improvements but nothing particularly major (save the $1K bump in price to $10,995). If you’re wide you’ll appreciate mirrors on two-inch longer stalks. There’s a tougher new final-drive belt, a longer peg on the shifter, lower passenger pegs… er, I think that’s it. Aesthetically, the 12’s sport very cool “translucent amber” wheels which sort of glow in the dark compared to conventional gold anodized ones, and to an easily amused by shiny objects person like myself, the effect against the dark gray fuel-in frame is very nice–particularly set against my favorite thing about these bikes, which is that they are tiny. Well it’s certainly no SV650 or VFR Honda, but there is a certain appeal. I could be biased, maybe I’m just overtaken by a wave of patriotism or nostalgia or something. My wife is from Wisconsin, but I like the place and the people there anyway. New bikes normally get introduced around January / February, which generally means press introes have to happen in Mediterranean or southern hemisphere climes, and I’m not complaining but the whole thing always winds up feeling a bit alien and jet-lagged. Buell does things differently, and so it’s the exceedingly lovely, green Road America in mid-June–right down the road from the East Troy Buell digs–and never mind that one of the fastest road circuits in North America might be the last place you’d want to showcase anything powered by what’s basically a Harley-Davidson Sportster motor. Here, the XB12R goes around a corner. After all the highly regimented Japanese-bike launches I’ve been on, this one was like a family picnic, with Paul James the Buell PR guy showing un-PR-guy speed on the track, and Erik would’ve been out there too if not for a ruptured disc in his back which did not keep him from giggling like a big kid the whole time anyway. Even if the new XB doesn’t have the very latest in motive power, the very advanced things it does have in its favor mean it’s still an absolute blast to ride around the track, and 140 mph on the clock into Canada Corner, at the end of the long, tree-lined backstraight doesn’t seem particularly slow to me in my advanced state of decay. Like the XB9 but 24 percent moreso, the XB12 is sort of sneaky fast: The red zone on the tach is set at 7000 instead of 7500 rpm, and so there aren’t really any aural clues to back up the visual ones of the scenery hurrying past. Whatever. The slightly heavier yet still short-wheelbased, quick-turning little mass-compacted Buell is still one of my favorite bikes to flog whatever the venue. Dunlop D207 tires are passé at this point, even déclassé–and yet when I looked to see what kind of sticky tires we were riding on after a couple of sessions, there they were (special versions for Buell). It’s just such an excellently balanced little machine. (Buell says suspension for XB9 and XB12 is identical.) And just like the XB9, the thing is completely unruffled by bumps, and completely stable come hell or high water–amazingly so for a bike with a 52-inch wheelbase, 21-degree rake and 83mm trail. Must be some sort of highly advanced engineering going on here… Here the XB9S, with actual handlebar and lower footpegs, goes around a corner. Through Road America’s big fast Carousel, the XB could carry as much speed as you could drum up on the way in, feeding in more throttle all the way around and not sliding so much as gravitating outside by the time you get to the exit. There toward the end of the day I was dragging the right footpeg feeler quite a bit–the only thing on the Buell you can drag without crashing on street tires, I think, and only when your knee puck is molten. I was thinking more aggressive brake pads might be a good thing right up until I locked the front in my aforementioned “accident” over at the kiddie track. Shifting is still the Buell Achilles Heel, and I have to say it seems a little worse on the heavier-crankshafted 1200. I mean, the bikes do shift, but with more effort than a Ducati or Japanese bike. Our XB9S got better with a few thousand miles on the odometer, and I also know you won’t be shifting the big 1200 nearly as much on the street as you do on the track, especially on a long, fast one like Road America when you’re trying to catch somebody… it’s all fine until you start trying to squeeze that last little bit of time out of the tube; if you’re not paying attention (and using the clutch a little bit), it’s easy to get hung up between second and third. I hate to say it, but you get used to the way the things shift, really, and the bikes have so many redeeming features… Page 2 By Johnny B Struggling for acceptance, getting it, having it yanked back from time to time… I think I learned more about people, and how things really work, in my year here at MO than in all the other years at other occupations. It was very interesting to go from a big print magazine to MO, with its somewhat checkered past and slightly irreverent editorial policy. When the shiznit hits the rotary oscillator, you find out who your friends are, and I like to think I’ve learned to recognize the signs for future reference. Look out for people, for example, who have tremendous respect for you. Be wary of those who are doing things to you for your own good, who’d like to help you but whose hands are tied. And on a personal note… Trust people whose actions show respect, and those who actually do things to help you. “No Time for Sergeants” and Catch 22, it turns out, were not farces. If you are starting out in a professional career, study them carefully. When you rock your canoe, it sends ripples out across the lake, ripples that rock other peoples’ canoes. My favorite people in this business are the boat-rockers, all of whom are destined mostly to remain upon the lower rungs. Sad? Maybe not. I’ve had more fun over the years with those people than I ever dreamed possible–riding Hayabusas at Catalunya, R1’s at Valencia (and Catalunya too, come to think), Mille R’s at Homestead, pursuing lactating Croatian strippers in Rimini, hurling BMW’s into rushing mountain streams. Burns’ Anthology I must’ve been on a couple hundred bike launches and extended jaunts while the Adults were stuck politicking in smoky backrooms, doing whatever they do to preserve the fiefdom. The internet is a revolutionary medium, period. As a low-tech sort of points and carburetors guy myself, it continues to amaze me how many people don’t believe it. Want to see your own work in print? Hell’s bells man, write it up, click on News, then Post Article — and you can be a published author the next day on MO, there to be instantly pilloried and underpaid just like a real magazine writer. Speaking of which, do you think for a minute that the run-of-the-mill motorcycle magazine writer has got anything on the Aerodynamic Head? On The Highwayman? Two words: Reader Feedback. Who wouldn’t pay $11.94 to watch Boehm and Kpaul square off in a battle of wits? Oh well, story of my life, really–big ideas, no execution. I know MO and a hot mug o’ Starbucks will be right there beside me in my new cubicle. I hope to continue to do some Cycle World stuff too. A man’s got to know his limitations, and maybe I am a better writer than I am an Editor. All I want is a slice of motorcycle now and then, not the whole damn pie. Say, what sort of retirement speech is this turning into anyway? I’m not sure if I’m retiring or not, really… but in case I am all I want to express is a huge and humble Thank You to all of you who caused my head to swell over the years by liking my “work” and taking the time to say so. Words can’t express how cool it’s been for a law school dropout seriously considering the US Postal Service to have backed into such a fantastic line of work, Phil Schilling you old dog. So, ah, wish me luck in the ad bizness. I may be back with my tail between my legs in a month or two. Thanks to the internet and MO, when I say I’ll be in touch I mean it. Go back to your homes, and if you make as good citizens as you have Morons, you’ll all do fine. — Here is some guy named Craig Jones. He does reasonably proficient wheelies and things of that crazy nature. Right, old-fashioned. Uh-huh, underpowered, whatever. This is a helluva fun motorcycle engine, and American too. This wheel tire/assembly, complete with Buell’s Zero Torsional Load brake, is really really light. Simplify… Anyway, does Buell still market these as “Streetfighters” or what? In the typical Californian canyon, I’d wager, the XB12 should be just as excellent a tool and even better than the XB9–particularly the S model. (Personally, I can’t think of a reason to buy the R over it.) Right, it only revs to 7000 rpm, but there’s probably just as much torque at around 3000 rpm. In the new kink they built following the Carousel at RA, I can’t think of a bike that would be easier to turn in, flick back to the right instantly, and whack the gas back on hard, with less fear of disaster. The whole Buell just sort of rotates within its own axis–it’s that Buell Trilogy thing in action, low yaw and pitch and all that, achieved by keeping things at the ends exceedingly light–and the low-revving beast just goes Bwaaaa… and spins the tire a little without SPINNING the tire, and off you go down the back straight. At the end of the day, the Buell might not be the fastest way around the track if you’re an advanced rider, and the more advanced you are the bigger the gap would grow… but the big But is that if you’re not Mat Mladin or somebody, and have no real ambition of being him, the Buell is just easy to ride and hugely forgiving. Okay, forgiving up to a certain point of stupid, which I managed to exceed. But on the street, where there aren’t any high-speed straights–the tighter the road, the more fits this XB12 will give bigger more powerful bikes. Reliability-wise, I refuse to go there with you people again. Craig says to keep your weight over the front when you’re burning up rear tires. The quality of these new Buells, beginning with the Blast, is apparently greatly improved. I have noted, maybe along with you, that scattered among the Buell “Reader Feedbacks” which slam Buell reliability every time the topic comes up, is a near-complete, yawning dearth of complaints from people who actually own new ones. At the end of the day it’s just refreshing, after a brat and some beers, to stroll from the lovely Osthoff Resort on the lake to downtown Elkhart Lake and pound some more beers with the ex-college football player types like Tim Osterberg and Dan Grein who built the thing, and who now have excellent raccoon eyes from being in the sun all day in fashion eyewear. Who knew those guys had brains too? 7000 rpm is good for a big-block Corvette. “It’s all about the low-rpm and the midrange, and in those departments it’ll be tough to top a 1203 Buell…” Abe Askenazi’s of Syrian descent by way of Mexico, but assimilating nicely and, in fact, breeding in the Wisconsin wild. More cheese curds anybody? I remember dancing, even, with a third-grade teacher in a tube top, and after that it all became a blur. In today’s corporate climate, the whole Buell attitude is hugely refreshing, and in fact it’s that David v. Goliath attitude that made the XB possible. Nobody told Buell they couldn’t build this bike. If Honda had tried to build an XB9/12, it would’ve wound up being a Pacific Coast with fuel and oil stored in an outrigger or something equally watered-down. And the fact that Buell does it with such an anachronistic engine makes it, to me, that much more interesting, and that much more an accomplishment. No doubt there’s a liquid-cooled Buell down the road, who knows when? In the meantime, I’m not getting any younger, I’ve got no time to wait–and anyway I like the air-cooled Ducati Monsters better than the quattrovalvole ones. Here in the world, it’s all about the low-rpm and the midrange, and in those departments it’ll be tough to top a 1203 Buell with a few choice aftermarket pieces, of which there are about a million. For those who say an air-cooled engine can’t pass emissions, Buell points out this one comes in “substantially below 2004 CARB/Euro II limits without secondary air injection or catalyst.” If I picked a Motorcycle of the Year for the Actual World, I have to tell you I think this one would be it. On the other hand, now’s the time to get a smokin’ deal on an XB9S… Church Of MO – 2004 XB12S: Cheddarheads Strike Again appeared first on Motorcycle.com.