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queenshelby · 9 months ago

Text

An Illicit Affair

Part Nine: The Turmoil

Pairing: Cillian Murphy (46) x Reader (23)

Warning: Age-Gap, Taboo Relationship, Infidelity

After leaving the lobby, Cillian felt conflicted about how to handle his situation. On one hand, he wanted to preserve his marriage after all he had invested in it, but on the other hand, he found himself increasingly drawn to you.

As he approached the elevator, he wondered if he had the strength to confront his feelings directly. He knew deep down that his relationship with you was not sustainable, especially because of the potential fallout it could have on his family, not only with his wife but also his son. In addition, he realized that there would not be a future with you. This affair was not going to go anywhere other than being exactly that, an affair.

Deep down inside, Cillian knew that logical approach would be to end his fling with you right now and to sever ties completely and salvage what fragments remained of his marriage. But how could he do that when he was so infatuated with you? He had never felt this kind of excitement and attraction towards anyone before.

He desperately wished he could rip the ticking clock out of the air and halt reality altogether. If only he could freeze time in that moment, then maybe he wouldn't hurt anyone. However, the cruel hand of fate forced him to make difficult decisions.

His conscience weighed heavy on his shoulders as he trudged toward the door of his room, mentally preparing himself for the conversation ahead, asking you to leave and end this doomed affair.

"Why am I even entertaining these thoughts?" he pondered aloud, stopping halfway down the hallway, his palms sweating profusely.

"I know that it's wrong," he reasoned, halting outside room 309. "I shouldn't be doing this," he whispered to himself, the sound echoing eerily in the deserted hallway. His heart pounded erratically in his chest, his palms sweaty and clammy.

Cillian closed his eyes momentarily, collecting his thoughts before inserting the key-card into the door to his room and opening it slowly and, as soon as he stepped inside, he laid his eyes on your naked form.

You lay on the bed, propped up on your elbows, waiting for him impatiently.

"Hello stranger," you called out, watching him stand motionless in the doorway for several seconds. "That took a while longer than I had expected," you smirked playfully and the sight of you caught his breath away. He stood frozen in place, he couldn't help but admire your perfect nakedness.

"Hey," he finally managed to utter, attempting to break the spellbinding silence. "How was your bath?" he then asked politely, stepping tentatively into the room.

"It was refreshing," you replied casually. "But it would have been much better if you had kept me company," you then winked before crawling towards the edge of the bed seductively.

"Y/N, I...," he began to say, trying to talk to you but, as soon a he approached the bed, he was silenced by your lips.

"Shhh," you hushed seductively, capturing his lips with yours.

The sudden heat of your body overwhelmed him, and he struggled to maintain his composure. He felt the pull of temptation stronger than ever before wanting to tear off his pants and join you under the sheets.

"Fuck," he groaned against your lips, your sweet scent filling his nostrils, making him weak in the knees as you started to fumble with his belt.

"No, wait," he gasped, catching you by the wrists. "We can't," he protested weakly, the battle raging within him. You arched an eyebrow at him, watching the internal struggle playing out on his face.

"What's wrong?" you prodded softly, tilting your head to the side. "I should not be doing this," he whispered, tears pooling in his eyes. "I have to talk to you," he confessed, his voice thick with emotion.

"You are having second thoughts about this again, aren't you?" you observed shrewdly, your voice barely audible.

"Maybe," he admitted, his voice cracking slightly. "I just don't know what to do anymore," he confessed, the turmoil evident in his voice, causing you to swallow harshly and pull away.

Reaching for the sheets to cover yourself you set down with a sigh.

"You feel guilty about sleeping with me, because you want to be loyal to your wife," you said softly, your voice cracking slightly.

"Actually," Cillian corrected you, pausing for a moment. "No, I do not feel guilty about sleeping with you because of my wife, which makes this so fucking confusing," he sighed, raking his hands through his hair.

"My marriage is broken. It has been broken for a long time and, yet, somehow I just can't justify this affair, mainly because of the damage it might cause down the track," he confessed, his voice quivering. "I know that it's morally wrong to be with you and I know that I need to end this," he explained, looking at you imploringly. "But goddamnit Y/N, I just can't," he growled, his voice breaking.

"Because spending time with me make you feel good?" you asked Cillian, watching him carefully. Your voice was quiet yet determined, challenging him to speak honestly.

"Yes, being with you feels so fucking good," Cillian replied, the words escaping his lips with difficulty. "I never expected to find this kind of connection with someone, but I also know that, given where I am in my life right now, this affair won't go anywhere. It is destined to come to an end eventually, so why fucking risk my marriage for it?" he confessed, his gaze locked on yours.

The atmosphere between you intensified, the tension palpable. You reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind his ear, admiring the beauty of his features. His skin was smooth yet rugged, betraying the battles he had fought in both life and love.

"Why risk your already broken marriage?" you asked softly, reaching out to touch Cillian's cheek. "I don't know Cillian, but the way I see it is that you don't have as much to lose as you think and whether this affair goes anywhere or not does not really matter," you trembled beneath your fingertips, his pulse pounding furiously in his veins.

"And why doesn't it matter?" Cillian asked, confused as your fingers began trailing along his jawline.

"I mean, every second with you makes me feel good Y/N, but we won't have a future together. I will never be able to commit to you," Cillian responded, his voice cracking slightly.

"And I don't expect you to Cillian," you responded softly, your voice trembling slightly. "I don't expect you to commit to me and I don't expect you to make me any promises for the future," you implored him, stroking his cheek softly. "Right now, with you, I am simply living in the moment and, perhaps, if you are unhappy in your marriage, you should do the same to find out what it is that you really want," you offered him a soft smile as you watched his face contort in confusion.

"Let me ask you something," you then went on to say. "Do you think your marriage can be saved or are you just prolonging the inevitable until Max takes enough responsibility to look after himself?" you asked Cillian gently, touching his hand tenderly.

"We both know it is the latter," Cillian sighed heavily, caressing your fingers lovingly. "I feel like I owe him to try and work things out with his mother. We have been married for so long, and there's history there," Cillian murmured, his grip tightening around your hand.

"Max is an adult," you reminded him gently, noticing the strain in his voice. "And I think that you have a right to focus on yourself and your own happiness as well," you encouraged him, squeezing his hand lovingly. "But, if you do still love your wife then I really don't want to stand in between you," you added truthfully.

"I don't," Cillian responded, tearing up slightly. "And I can't believe I am actually saying this, but I have fallen out of love with her a long time ago," he admitted, the pain evident in his voice. "Danielle and I were young and naïve when we got married," he sighed, tracing the lines on your palm with his thumb. "But I was hoping that, with time, things would change. That we would become closer. And it took me many years to accept that we never will," he confessed, his voice strained.

"So what do you want to do now?" you asked curiously, watching him intently. "I can leave if you like," you told him. "No hard feelings," you added, the words spilling out of your mouth in a rush. You didn't want to force anything, nor did you want him to feel pressured to choose between you and his wife. But as the words left your mouth, you could hear the desperate undertone to your voice.

"Don't leave," Cillian whispered hoarsely, his voice sounding more defeated than you had ever heard it before. He pulled you close, wrapping his arms around you tightly and held you close to his chest.

You listened to his heartbeat thrumming against your chest, your bodies melding together seamlessly.

"You are right,” Cillian murmured softly, his voice strained with emotion. "I deserve to be happy too sometimes," he sighed, kissing your forehead tenderly without telling you about all the bad he had experienced Max's mother, including the threats against his career and past jealousy over nothing.

"Then tell me, how can I possibly make you happy?" you teased him gently, turning your face to the side, hiding your face in his shirt.

"Well, I might have some ideas," Cillian smiled before pushing your back onto the mattress gently but firmly. He leaned down and kissed the top of your nose affectionately. "But remember, I can't promise anything," he whispered, brushing a lock of hair away from your face.

"I don't expect any promises," you responded softly, locking your arms around his neck, pulling him closer towards you. "I just want to enjoy the moments we have together," you whispered sincerely, nibbling on his earlobe gently.

"Me too," Cillian agreed, his voice husky and thick with desire.

He lowered his lips to yours, kissing you passionately, his tongue exploring your mouth hungrily. You melted into his arms, surrendering to the intoxicating sensations coursing through your veins.

"Cillian," you moaned quietly, arching into his touch as he explored your body eagerly. He teased your nipples with his thumbs, sending jolts of pleasure shooting through your core. You writhed beneath him, your breathing growing shallow and ragged.

"Just relax," Cillian whispered softly, his warm breath fanning across your neck.

"I need you to take off your clothes," you murmured shyly, biting your lip seductively. You were eager to explore his body again, and the anticipation was killing you.

Cillian complied willingly, stripping down completely before climbing back on top of you.

His body was lean and muscular, adorned with a light dusting of freckles. As he pressed his weight down onto you, you could feel his erection straining against his boxers. You let out a low moan, inviting him to continue.

"Are you still sure about this?" Cillian asked, his voice rough and strained.

"Yes," you replied, reaching up to kiss him passionately. "I want you, Cillian."

He grinned wickedly, yanking off his underwear in one swift movement. His cock sprang free, standing tall and proud.

You licked your lips, mesmerized by the sight of him. You wanted to taste him, to feel him inside you. You moved your hands, tracing the outline of his erection.

"I want you so badly," you moaned, your voice thick with lust. "Please, Cillian, fuck me."

He looked down at you, his eyes dark and intense. "Fuck Y/N, why do you have to be so damn beautiful?" he whispered, his voice husky and full of longing. His eyes roamed over your exposed flesh, taking in every curve and contour of your body. You could feel the heat radiating off of him, his arousal practically tangible in the air.

"Because, clearly, I'm your type," you teased, reaching up to run your fingers through his hair. He groaned softly, pressing his lips firmly against yours. His kiss was hungry and insistent, almost desperate. His hands roamed over your body, exploring every inch of you.

His kisses were passionate and urgent, fuelled by raw desire. As he pushed you further onto the bed, he paused, looking into your eyes as if seeking permission. You nodded, your heart racing with anticipation.

"I want you to fuck me, Cillian," you repeated, your voice quivering with desire while he groaned loudly, his cock twitching beneath your fingers. You could feel his arousal surging through the air, a potent cocktail of pure lust and desire.

His response was immediate, his hips bucking into yours as he pressed his cock against your clit. The sensation was overwhelming, a wave of raw hunger washing over you.

"I need you inside of me," you whimpered, your voice shaking with desperation and he immediately complied with your request.

He positioned himself at your entrance, teasing you with the tip of his cock. You moaned loudly, arching your back off the sheet.

Suddenly, he thrust into you, filling you completely. He buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly.

You could feel his heart pounding wildly against your chest, his breath hot and damp against your skin. His fingers dug into your thighs, holding you tightly as he pumped into you relentlessly.

"Oh God, yes!" you cried out, your voice hoarse and strained. The pleasure was almost unbearable, a tidal wave of ecstasy crashing over you. He responded, his movements becoming faster and harder.

You continued this for about an hour, drawing out the pleasure you received from each other's body until you couldn't take it anymore.

The tension in your muscles increased tenfold, and you arched your back, trying to alleviate the mounting pressure. Cillian, sensing your impending release, quickened his pace, burying himself deeper inside you with each thrust.

"Cillian, fuck," you whimpered, your voice cracking. "Oh my fucking god, yes!" you screamed, the word echoing through the hotel room. Cillian's strong grip on your hips tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh with ferocious intensity. You could feel the familiar warmth building inside you, the storm brewing in the distance, threatening to engulf you both.

"I need—" you gasped, struggling to catch your breath.

"I know, baby," Cillian grunted, his breath hot and damp against your neck.

"I'm close," he rasped, his thrusts becoming wilder and more frantic. You could feel the pressure building inside you, the storm gathering in the distance. "Just hold on," he murmured, his voice strained and desperate. "I'm almost there," he groaned, his cock twitching beneath your fingers.

"Fuck," he gasped, his cock pulsing inside you as you found your release together, orgasming in sync with one another.

The feeling was incredible, a powerful surge of pleasure that washed over you like a tidal wave.

"God, yes," you moaned, your voice hoarse and strained. "That was amazing," you breathed, the afterglow of climax lingering between the two of you.

"Yeah, it was," Cillian agreed, his voice rough and thick with satisfaction as he collapsed on top of you. "Definitely worth the risk," he chuckled, planting a series of gentle kisses on your shoulder just as your phone started to ring.

Glancing at your mobile, which was sitting on the nightstand, you saw that it was Max calling.

"Shit," you murmured as Cillian pulled out of you, leaving you achingly empty. "It's Max. I forgot to write his referral the other day," you explained nervously, quickly picking up the phone and accepting the call while Cillian shifted on the bed uncomfortably.

"Max, hey," you stammered nervously, quickly glancing at Cillian before averting your gaze, your cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

"Hi Y/N, how are you?" Max asked cheerfully on the other line.

"Yeah, I am fine," you answered hesitantly, avoiding eye contact with Cillian. "And I am really sorry, I should have prepared the referral and transfer form for you when you left the hospital. I totally," you began to apologize. "It totally slipped my mind," you apologized again while you could feel Cillian tensing up beside you.

"It's okay, Y/N," Max reassured you kindly. "I understand, shit happens," he laughed, causing your shoulders to drop slightly. "And I don't need the referral anyway. I won't be continuing treatment in Dublin. I will be staying here until next week for Ma's sake, but I can't wait to get out of the fucking house once Dad gets back," Max exclaimed, causing you to pause mid-sentence.

"Uhm, okay," you muttered, staring blankly at the wall opposite of you while Cillian squirmed uncomfortably on the bed beside you.

"Yeah, Dad is being a dick you know. He could just fucking pay for the repairs on my car and get me a lawyer. He can fucking afford it, but no, he won't help me," Max vented, causing you to gasp.

"You're joking, right?" you questioned incredulously, staring at the wall in disbelief. Cillian shot you a pleading glance, silently begging you to wrap up the conversation.

"Nah, I'm not joking," Max sighed heavily. "He just gave me a lecture about how I need to learn to manage my own finances and how irresponsible I am. What bullshit is that?" Max scoffed.

"No Max, I meant that," you began, before pausing briefly and sighing. "I mean, you don't actually expect someone else to cover your ass after what happened, right?" you clarified, the tension in the air thickening.

"He is my dad, so he is obliged to help me," Max responded quickly. "Despite, mum thinks he should," Max argued stubbornly.

"Well, I don't agree, but this between you and your dad," you interjected, knowing that Cillian was hearing at least half of what was being said. "Now listen, I have to go now. I've got stuff to do," you hurriedly ended the conversation, cutting Max off abruptly.

"Yeah, of course Y/N. You are a busy med student after all," Max chuckled before telling you quickly why he was calling you in the first place. "But the reason I was calling you was that I thought that, just maybe, you would like to go out, catch a movie and some dinner next week, just so that I can thank you properly for all your help at the hospital and all," Max stammered before continuing on without allowing you to answer. "Any movie is fine. You choose. Just not Oppenheimer. I can't possibly watch my dad take off his clothes and make out with Florence Pugh who, I may add, is way too young and pretty for him. That's just next level gross," Max told you, chuckling, his tone sarcastic and disgusted.

"Max, listen," you interrupted him, panic setting in. "We talked about this and I think that, what you are suggesting, is a terrible idea, alright?" you insisted, the nervousness creeping into your voice despite how confident you attempted to sound. "Now, I really have to go. You take care, okay?" you hurriedly finished before hanging up the phone.

As soon as you disconnected the call, you jumped off the bed, walking briskly to the bathroom.

"Y/N," Cillian called out, his voice thick with concern. "Is everything okay?" he asked, his voice laced with worry. "Is Max okay?" he wanted to know.

"Yeah," you assured him, running the water in the sink as you splashed cold water on your face. You stared at your reflection in the mirror, your cheeks flushed a deep pink.

"I am just such a horrible fucking person," you muttered under your breath, wiping the water from your face with a towel. "God dammit," you scolded yourself, pacing nervously in front of the sink.

"Y/N, are you okay?" Cillian called out again, his voice softer this time. "Talk to me," he pleaded, his voice thick with concern.

Sighing, you turned off the faucet and opened the door, stepping out into the bedroom. "No, I am not okay," you admitted, swallowing the lump in your throat.

"Yes, just needed to freshen up after the awkward phone call," you lied, not wanting to tell Cillian that his son so seemingly was not over you yet in fear of loosing him.

"What did Max want?" Cillian asked cautiously, watching you closely.

You hesitated a moment before answering, weighing your options. Finally, you decided to tell him at least part of the truth.

"Nothing much," you mumbled, shifting your gaze to the floor. "He just called to ask if I wanted to catch a movie with him next week," you revealed softly, feeling Cillian stiffen beside you.

"What did you say?" he asked, his voice cold and distant.

"I told him that I didn't think it was a good idea," you replied, meeting Cillian's gaze.

"Y/N, I am not sure what we are doing here," Cillian said, torn between his feelings for you and loyalty towards his son. "Maybe we should just stop," he suggested, his voice thick with regret and, immediately, your heart sank at his words.

To be continued...

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thiefbird · 6 months ago

Note

"actually, we're leaving early, we have something to get to." For Diana

Thank you for this perfect prompt - and for the conversation about Diana's insecurities that helped inspire this fic! I didn't get the exact quote in, but the Vibes hopefully match! (under a cut because it got long, as usual)

On Auks and Solitaires (on ao3)

Lady Anderson’s dinner - one in a long, long series of dinners celebrating the taking of the Chesapeake - was, if nothing else, a distraction from the slowly mounting worry in Diana’s chest. She was determined to ignore it; only time would tell if it had any foundation in reality or was a mere paranoid terror that she should never be free of Johnson’s grip on her. The company was rather dull, and entirely familiar: the same group of army and naval officers, the same simpering girls and stuffy wives. It should have been entirely intolerable, but for the fact that she was seated beside Stephen Maturin, and could whisper indiscreet commentary into his ear whenever she was overcome with boredom.

With boredom, or with a strange sort of awkwardness at watching Aubrey make a fool of himself, as he did now: blatantly staring into Miss Smith’s decolletage as she simpered outrageously; she could hardly make her mind up whether she felt sorry for him, or outraged on her cousin’s behalf. Certainly, Sophie would not condone such behaviors if she knew - not sweet Sophia who hid a tremendous sort of jealousy under her gentle ways. She had fair savaged Diana, all those years ago - nearly ten, she realised with a quiet shock, ‘Could it have been so long?’ - when they had competed themselves for Jack Aubrey’s attentions, and surely she would savage Miss Smith now, were she to see how the two of them carried on. Diana, for one, would have been delighted by the spectacle: she was no particular fan of Aubrey, the overgrown puppy of rather too close to forty; she tolerated him for Stephen and for Sophie, not for himself at all.

She was preparing a comment on the absurdity - Stephen could be mortally sensitive about Aubrey, in a way he never was when she was sharp-tongued towards Stephen himself - when the man seated to Stephen’s left began to speak, drawing Stephen’s attention. “I believe, sir, I heard you introduced as Doctor Maturin - surely you are not the Doctor Maturin who wrote so well on the Rodrigues Solitaire?” He was an army captain, in an eye-catching red jacket and snow-white trousers, and Diana felt a wash of pity for Stephen’s poor rusty black coat in comparison to its neighbor’s brilliance.

Stephen confirmed he was indeed such gentleman, in his strange and awkward way whenever anyone took any notice at all of his works - ‘for such a prideful creature,’ Diana thought affectionately, ‘he does hate to be thought of as ever showing away; you should think it were a mortal sin to admit to having ever written papers at all.’ - and begged pardon for not having caught the man’s name.

“Captain William Ainsworth, of the Nova Scotia Fencibles.” Captain Ainsworth gave Stephen a courteous bow, and Diana watched him with some interest; she had seen him at various parties and dinners they had been obliged to attend before now, and he had never caught her attention before, but he was a handsome man: tall, though not quite so tall as Aubrey, and with the slim build of a man accustomed to a good deal of riding - nothing at all like the solid Navy build; his hair was just dark enough as to not be considered red and therefore a detriment, and his eyes were a rich chestnut brown that sparkled with delight at each of Stephen’s words. “And may I say, sir, it is a great pleasure - a true honour, certainly - to meet the esteemed Doctor Maturin.”

Stephen glanced back at Diana, an endearing look of confusion on his face, before returning his attention to the captain. “The honour is mine, sir; the Nova Scotia regiment has done well for itself, I find.”

Captain Ainsworth shook his head. “No, no - nothing so fine as all that - nothing so fine as your solitaire-bird. I had no idea such a bird existed in all the world.” There was a certain sort of bravado in those words, as strange as it seemed to boast about a long-dead sort of dodo-bird, and Diana had the distinct sensation that the captain did not care nearly so much about Stephen’s solitaire as he claimed; her interest was piqued by this inconsistency, and she turned her attention fully from Jack Aubrey’s indiscretions to study Stephen’s interactions with Captain Ainsworth.

“They once existed, sure - oh, to be able to handle a specimen with any sort of soft tissue remaining! But they are all long gone - hunted until they could not sustain themselves. It is the shame of the age that no natural philosopher thought to bottle one.” Stephen’s hesitancy had faded entirely, and he now spoke with a vehemence that made Diana smile with fond affection; he, unlike all other men of her acquaintance, was entirely unchanged in these last ten years, other than his poor ruined hands. “I do not think we shall ever understand what we have lost to similar incidents - the dodo, the sea-cow of Stellar’s observation only a handful of examples-”

“I should give my eye-teeth - no, my left arm! - to provide such a sample!” declared Captain Ainsworth, his colour high as he watched Stephen with a particular fervour. Diana was certain, now: the man was a sodomite, and for some reason was entirely taken with Stephen; she could hardly comment, she was sure, for she loved him more than she had loved perhaps any man, but she had always thought that such men were invariably attracted to pretty slips of things, as she had always seen in India. Stephen, though desperately slight, could never even with the most charitable of hearts be described as pretty - she had already glowered at two of the more irritating girls in Halifax that night for tittering at his admittedly dreadful wig and tinted glasses - but there was no mistaking that gleam in Captain Ainsworth’s eyes, that almost breathlessly eager note in his voice as he spoke.

Stephen was scarcely less enthusiastic in his response, leaning in towards the captain as he was encouraged to speak more on his birds, and Diana felt a strange and familiar twisting in her chest. She knew full well the rumours surrounding Stephen - it was hard not to be aware, living for all that time with Mrs Williams, of how Hampshire had seen the handsome young captain and his strange choice of companion. The rumours had not ceased in the time since: talk had followed him in India, and even that insufferable slattern Wogan had been convinced that “that dear fool Maturin” was a sodomite hopelessly obsessed with Jack Aubrey - she had even gone so far as to reassure Johnson that he had no reason to be jealous of anyone’s attentions being stolen away by him.

She had not given them much notice, at first; there was always such talk of Navy men, and Aubrey certainly was no paederast - that was obvious to speak to him. But Maturin… Oh, he had certainly paid her attentions, of course, but he spoke so strangely at times, his queer comments about not being interested in women but in persons, his careful notice of all of Aubrey’s moods and needs - that had certainly not changed in all these years, either - and she had developed doubts of his sincerity quite quickly, even when he would walk three or more miles to sneak into her rooms at Mapes and take brandy or tea and kiss her under cover of darkness.

She had needled him on the subject to no end; he had an insupportable ability to let her sharp words fall without comment and make her feel an immediate guilt for speaking so, and yet she always tried, again and again, to get him to lash out. It had been a habit started when they first met, and one reinforced by first Canning’s and then Johnson’s treatment of her, and she was only glad she had managed to keep a leash on her tongue this last week they had been in Halifax; she did not trust her ability to keep mum were she to let herself speak freely. He had never once responded with anything less than quiet and resigned acceptance when she had ridiculed his relationship with Aubrey, when she had accused them of playing at marriage in Melbury Lodge, but there had been a peculiar look in his eyes that he tried to disguise that had told her the rumours might have not been far off.

And then, in India, Aubrey had been so harsh to her - had spoken so chuff when she had fair begged him to let her nurse Stephen and return to England on his Surprise, and she had feared the worst: she would not be made a fool of, with a chaste marriage to a man too busy with his captain to pay her mind - and so she had left for America in the company of Johnson. Oh, she had been doubly the fool there, no doubt of that; Johnson had ruined her reputation far worse than any buggerer of a husband could, no matter how blatant.

And yet she did love Stephen, and she knew he felt some sort of strong affection for her: that was the worst of it. A husband she did not like could be given freedom to do whatever he wished. A beloved husband that preferred the company of a bumbling clod like Aubrey to her own? That was why she had left with Johnson from the Company ship, and while not the whole reason she had left with him again, the fear of Stephen renewing his offer, and not being strong enough to refuse him had certainly contributed. However much it rankled to accept being kept by a married man, she could countenance a marriage where she was not truly and devoutly wanted even less.

Despite her preoccupation with her own thoughts, Diana had kept half an eye and half an ear on Stephen’s conversation with the handsome captain; he had not in any particular way encouraged Ainsworth’s attentions - she was not altogether certain he was aware of them, so enthused over the opportunity to discuss the rarer birds of North America with an attentive audience was he - but neither had he discouraged them, and now the man’s hand was on his forearm as he gazed into Stephen’s face.

“I am afraid, my dear doctor-” how many times had she heard that exact address to Stephen from Aubrey’s lips? “-that we are at risk of neglecting our dining companions.” Ainsworth gave Stephen a pleased, secretive smile that made Diana feel a sick dread. “But I am so loathe to put a true halt to our conversation - perhaps you might accompany me to a small, private card-party being held this evening by a… particular friend of mine, if you do not have a prior engagement?”

The emphasis Ainsworth placed on ‘particular’ would have confirmed for Diana what he was about, had she not already been entirely convinced, and she felt her mood shift from blue to a deep, hot red.

“I should be pleased-” Stephen began, halting and turning to look at her in surprise when she rapped his other arm none too lightly with her fan.

She ignored his look and gave Captain Ainsworth her most simperingly insincere smile. “My fiance and I should be delighted, of course, Captain,” she said, placing a possessive hand on Stephen’s forearm - where it would certainly be sore from her fan - in a deliberate mimicry of his own posture. “But unfortunately, we had already arranged to spend the evening elsewhere. Perhaps another time?” Her words were perfectly polite, but her tone was carefully chilly, and her smile faded away into a look of pure hostility she had no interest in disguising.

Captain Ainsworth turned pale and then pink in turn, and snatched his hand away from Stephen with a betrayed glance at him. Stephen, for his part, looked tolerably confused, but nodded wisely. “Mrs Villiers is correct, of course. If you should like to give me your direction, however, I could send you a copy of some notes I have collected on the northern penguin, the great Auk - they are mere notes, of course, but they may be of interest to you.”

The captain stammered some excuse - he would be leaving Halifax shortly, he should not like to trouble the doctor, the notes would certainly be too learned for him to make heads or tails of - and turned with a miserable desperation to the man on his left. Stephen then gave Diana his full attention, rather perplexed and peevish both, and she set her jaw. “I will not be made a fool of, Maturin,” was all she said to him, in a tight whisper, until she was able to make their excuses to Lady Anderson after dessert, and he followed her out into the streets.

“I do not believe, Villiers, that I have ever seen you behave with so little in the way of social graces,” Stephen said when they had walked in silence for a few blocks. “Whatever did poor Captain Ainsworth do, to incite your fury? I must be sure to avoid such an offense.”

“He was a bore, Stephen - he did not care one whit about your solitaire, only that he should be seen talking so to you.” She, perversely, no longer wished to comment on Stephen’s predilections, or whether they might lean more towards a tall, handsome, auburn haired military captain - or a tall and brutish, blond naval one - than towards her own figure, and so she did not mention how utterly and preposterously blatant Ainsworth’s flirtations had been. It was a wonder he had not been caught and hanged, if that was how he accosted any gentleman who might share his tastes - it was a wonder more eyes had not been on him and Stephen than on Aubrey and Miss Smith. “I wonder that you should waste your time at him, and complain that I saved you the effort; he is not worth half a thought.”

“I thought him an amiable fellow - he did not know overmuch of birds, sure, but he seemed a good sort. But I am sure you have the right of it, my dear,” Stephen said, tucking her hand through his arm. “I fall to your opinion in all matters social.”

She allowed their steps to come together, and herself to enjoy the warmth that came off him, but her heart was still uneasy as she remembered the apologetic glance Stephen had given a concerned Aubrey as they left the dinner party. She would not be made a fool of - she would not let herself come under the control of another man who did not want her for anything other than a pretty distraction.

#thiefbird writes #stephen maturin #diana villiers #jack aubrey #aubrey maturin #aubreyad #captain william ainsworth

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bubblestopia · 2 years ago

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an escape from her own mind [Aemond Targaryen AU!]

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

summary: a silver boy that seeks company to release his own nightmares that follow him even in the lightest places crushes into a heavy reader that seeks alone time in her own world of fantasies.

word count: 1.159

A/N: please don't be too harsh on judging it, this is my first story that I ever published and im still learning so be patient with me. reblogs and comments are grateful appreciated, I am always open to new ideas and suggestions.

this is a work of AU! fiction utilising characters from HBO’s House Of The Dragon series.

The library that was usually empty or with just a few customers is now full, with no place for her to sit and enjoy the morning coffee and the romance book she chose to entertain herself. Walking by the long corridor destined for wooden tables and chairs hoping to find a spot, preferably a quiet and secluded one from the crowd, she starts rethinking her decision on coming to the library in the season of exams where she deeply knows that the students prefer coming here to study in groups or alone. With no chances of finding a free chair she walks by the tall bookshelves full of every kind of story she could possibly think of, “the doors to escape reality” as she likes to call them. The very last corner of the library is the perfect spot to just sit down on the old carpet and make herself disappear in her own world of princesses and knights in shinning armour.

Time had passed, half of her coffee is finished and she still can’t take her eyes and mind from the book that is currently keeping her captive, but that will change when steps are heard approaching the corner that the girl had occupied.

The silver hair boy sits down opposite of her without any word. Thinking that now she doesn’t have the silent corner only for her, looks suspicious at him. “No space left in the other part” raspy voice admits and she finally takes a better look at the man. Long silver hair that could take a breath away, but the most intriguing part of him was his eyepatch, revealing one blue eye that she can not read, she can’t find any emotion that holds it, nothing, its like the dessert took over the ocean. “Its rude to stare, especially to people you don’t know”, realising what she was doing, her cheeks turn a bright red and she holds the book in front of her to cover the embarrassment that she had to face.

“Why would you read that kind of stuff? Its full of lies and doesn’t teach you anything” With no warning he spits out the words with an incredible disgust for the book.

“A book doesn’t have to be particularly meant to teach you something for you to learn from it, and it gives me a little bit of hope on this cruel world we have to live without a way of saying”

He knows, he knows this more than anyone and his missing eye is the proof of his endures and pains.

“You should teach me about your ways, I find fascinating the way you can stay in a little corner and enjoy your mind and imagination”

“Why would I do that more exactly, what comes out of this for me? And more important I don’t even know you, you are a complete stranger that just happened to sit in the same corner as me.”

“Aemond Targaryen’s the name, now we are not strangers” he showed a little bit of smirk hoping the girl wouldn’t notice it. “And as I can see in those glittery eyes of yours, you have too many questions that occupies your pretty mind, it would be my pleasure to answer them all for you and enlighten your desires of knowing what’s behind my eyepatch”

She’s a reader, she has questions, lots of questions that kills her mind every second she spends with him. She feels the danger that she could get herself into but ignores it and accept his deal not knowing how she can change her own perspective of life after the chitchat with the silver boy. “I am allowed to ask one question after one chapter finished” was the last condition she wanted to make.

““I hope you find someone you can't live without.I really do. And I hope you never have to know what it's like to have to try and live without them.”” He looks at her reading the chapters, the way her face relaxes, the way her eyes shine brighter than ever, the way her soft voice that is full of hope and happiness, he feels like believing her, believing that there is a happy ending, not because of the silly book but only the way she reads the paragraphs with her heart on the table. But he also knows that letting his guard down will only bring monsters in his life. Without releasing he find himself not listening to her anymore, he is just mesmerised of her, his thoughts stop when she clears her voice to get his attention, excited that is time for the first question. She knows she can’t directly ask about the eyepatch, she knows he will close himself, so the only question on her mind had to be spoken.

“What exactly are you doing in a library, in the dusty corner to be more precise?”. He takes a little of his time to think for a proper answer “I was looking for a book with greek gods, and that section is right over here” he points at the shelves behind him that holds the exact books he is searching for. “But why did you care to sit on the floor with no book in hands?” “One question per chapter, remember sweet girl?” He smirks, a devilish smirk that can tell that he is right and you are wrong, oh but how much she hates that smirk. She just wants to erase it and ask away her mental list of question, but a deal is a deal.

She just lost count of how many chapters she read and how many question she asked, but none about his missing eye. She didn’t found any courage to ask the trouble question. Without a warning the library clock rings and indicates that is almost noon. She looks at her finished cup of coffee and then at the silver boy. “I think it’s time to end this little book club” He chuckles at her nickname for the thing that was going for the past hour “You may be right, although you gotta tell me when the next session will be” He knows he still wants to spend time with her, he knows she starts being the light for him “Why would I want to see you again?” “Because I know you still have questions, and you will eat yourself alive if you don’t answer them” He was right, he knew it but now seeing her pretty face thinking to find a solution for this problem, makes his ego go even higher if it was possible.

“I will buy you the next coffee” she stayed a little to think for all the bad possibilities but didn’t found one, and a free coffee sounds very tempting, so she accepted “Deal” with a small smirk on both of their faces they left the dusty corner that now holds a part of history and future.

#aemond targaryen #aemond x reader #aemond targaryen x female reader #hotd #hotd fanfic #aemond imagine

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manuscripts-dontburn · 12 days ago

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The Silence Factory

Author: Bridget Collins

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★☆☆

What a stunning cover! While The Silence Factory is not AS good and enchanting as Collins´ previous two books, it is still a pretty solid Gothic historical fiction. It is not, though, a magical realism book, which I imagine lets some people down, because it was advertised as one. I also admit I expected the story to be a little more twisty and bendy because it is quite straightforward and the atmosphere and the plot had strength to hold...well...more.

Franklin's Flying Bookshop

Author: Jen Campbell

First published: 2017

Rating: ★★★★☆

I was happy to find this book at a school fair and immediately snatched it for a baby girl in our family. Of course, first, I had to read it myself! It is a sweet, short story about the love of stories and books and how that love can bring people closer. I read the Czech translation and I imagine some of the verses were smoother in English. The illustrations are extremely cute, generously large and colourful.

Company of Liars

Author: Karen Maitland

First published: 2008

Rating: ★★★☆☆

Not great, not terrible. Or rather: it kept me entertained well enough throughout the whole thing and sometimes that is all you need from a book.

The Lights of Prague

Author: Nicole Jarvis

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I reached for this book mostly because I am always curious about how foreigners present my country. As a debut, this is not bad. You can really tell there is talent in the use of language, creating the atmosphere. Where it limps quite badly is the depth of the characters, their gradual development and especially the relationships. Some of the names and words chosen (never ever have I heard anyone call a vampire "pijavice" - literally a leech) sounded strange to a Czech, but I have seen and read so much worse before that I waved this away. The plot was very straightforward and the ending bored me, unfortunately.

My Salty Mary

Author: Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, Jodi Meadows

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★★☆

After the last instalment that was really just "mid", My Salty Mary returns with the easy wit, fluffy characters and some really funny (really well-timed) jokes. Perfect if you want to clear your head.

Gaza: An Inquest into Its Martyrdom

Author: Norman Finkelstein

First published: 2018

Rating: ★★★★★

An extremely important book, now more than ever. Norman Finkelstein simply slaps you in the face with fact after fact, there is nothing sentimental or pleading here, just bare and naked reality, meticulously backed by sources. Finkelstein focuses on the Israeli violence against the people of Gaza between the years 2002 and 2014, and you can see that everything that is being used by Israeli (And US) propaganda has already been used multiple times and, just like today, with no evidence to back it up. Most importantly it is clear now that every operation undertaken in the past twenty years has only been a dress rehearsal for the currently ongoing genocide of the Palestinians AND the attacks against Lebanon. Every page of this book made me feel sheer fury. Mostly because when you read it now you already know that the worst is yet to come for the Palestinian people.

The Lady and the Unicorn

Author: Tracy Chevalier

First published: 2004

Rating: ★★★★☆

Though at first I disliked pretty much all of the characters and did not understand the point of the story, it eventually grew on me to the point where I was looking forward to spending time within the pages of this book. You get to see the souls of the characters and love at least one (Ailienor, though I may have spelled that wrong), you learn something about the making of tapestries (which was surprisingly interesting) and see how our lives resemble tapestries with many threads that get pulled, with parts that need to be re-done and the fact that when we are gone, our meanings and intentions may not be clearly interpreted by the future. If the future should ever notice us at all. That all probably sounds terribly complicated, but that is the feeling I am leaving with.

The Shape of Darkness

Author: Laura Purcell

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★★★

The book has a slow start but when it grabs you, it is really difficult to put it down. Laura Purcell is brilliant in walking the tight rope between the supernatural and the real. Just when you think you have it all figured out, she is able to throw something at you that again makes you doubt your conclusions. She is also very skilful in creating a dark, Gothic atmosphere. Last but not least I appreciate her ability to tell the background story in pieces and insinuations rather than laying it all out for you at once. So yeah, this was good.

Eighteen: A History of Britain in 18 Young Lives

Author: Alice Loxton

First published: 2024

Rating: ★★★★☆

A wonderful non-fiction book for a young reader. By creating short and very readable cameos of actual historical figures, Alice Loxton had offered an entertaining yet educational and even inspirational album of fascinating live stories. And thought focused on the young, it can be enjoyed by the old as well :D

Songbirds

Author: Christy Lefteri

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★★☆

I really, really like Christy Lefteri´s writing style. Much like her previous book, Songbirds is more of an exploration of souls and relationships than a thrilling adventure. Indeed the plot is very simple: a domestic worker goes missing and those around her are left to both try to look for her as well as to realize who exactly the woman was and what are their own lives without her presence in it. There are also musings on motherhood and what we are willing to do to better our existence, as well as commentary on social hierarchy and prevalent racism many migrants keep experiencing. I wished for a little more mystery when it came to Nisha´s disappearance, but perhaps the sad banality of it was necessary as a reminder of reality.

Wild: Tales from Early Medieval Britain

Author: Amy Jeffs

First published: 2022

Rating: ★★★★★

This was such a curious book. Part mythology/legend retelling, part memoir and non-fiction to explain context and details, and if you listen to it on audio, also quite a banging folk music album. Gorgeously written, no matter which kind of genre it chooses to be at a given moment, I was surprised by how rich it felt, considering this is quite a thin volume.

A Dowry of Blood

Author: S.T. Gibson

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★☆☆☆

I´m not mad about this book, just kind of... disappointed. Great idea with some pretty good writing, but I felt that the characters never evolved, staying the same no matter how many centuries they have gone through. They also never seemed to be doing anything interesting besides a bisexual woohoo a few times. And I felt that the possibility of showing the immortals reacting to the ever-changing world around them was not explored at all, though that is one of my favourite things about vampires. Furthermore, these vampires felt altogether too human.

Garlic and the Vampire

Author: Bree Paulsen

First published: 2021

Rating: ★★★★★

I needed something soft and sweet and uncomplicated to close off October. This was a perfect pick for me. Also, I always knew celery was the lesser vegetable.

#booklr #wrap up #October 2024

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youngerdrgrey · 2 years ago

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stargazing (return of the van) // a wildmoore drabble

about: someone requested stargazing many months ago, and this has been in my drafts ever since

Sophie clears her throat to break the silence. “You know, when you said you had a great view of the river, I thought you were exaggerating.” A little laugh slips from her lips as she watches the stars against the dark waters.

She and Ryan have only been in the van for a few minutes at this point. Long enough for Ryan to resituate the pillows on her bed for the perfect day bed situation. Or night bed, technically, since the goal is maximum comfort while they watch the stars from the inside of Ryan’s van.

It’s not easy to see the stars around Gotham. Too many big buildings with bright lights in the city proper, so the view gets better with distance. From the banks on the east side of the river, the stars reflect down, and the city is more of a promise than an actual reality. Plus, Ryan already knows where to park over here.

Ryan will definitely not admit this later, but she does miss her van sometimes. She misses feeling like she could leave, if ever and whenever she wanted to. Feeling like she could curl up to the soft push and pull of the Gotham River, could wake with the sun and sleep under the stars.

But the loft and indoor plumbing are great. The AC and ample space and the fact that she can easily invite girls back to her place without having to talk about why she’s in a very decked out van. Now returning to her van can be a treat. A reminder of who she was and how her options have changed.

Ryan sinks back into the pillows against the wall. She chuckles too. “Oh no, I was hanging out just like this on the night everything changed.”

Sophie’s eyebrows furrow. “The night you got arrested?” she asks.

Ryan shakes her head. “The night I found the suit.”

Realization clicks onto Sophie’s face. Then sadness, then a flicker of exhaustion that Sophie blinks away. “Oh. That night.” She peers out the open side of the van out into the view. “It must have been terrifying — being out here?”

Loud and firey, that man nearly dying in the rubble, the approaching sirens — Ryan blinks that away too and sighs. “Not my favorite experience. I did mean before all that though. I’d wanted to see the stars and talk to my mama before my interviews the next day.”

Sophie cheats a glance at Ryan. “Is that why we’re here now? To see your mom?”

Ryan shakes her head. “As much as I’m sure Mama Cora would have loved you, I thought we could use a night off. Away from the cave and the team and—“

“And Mary?”

Their friend’s still barely talking to Ryan. It takes time to rebuild a friendship. But they’ll get there.

Ryan shrugs and turns her face back to the view. “We should take more nights off. It’s not like the crime is going anywhere.”

Sophie reluctantly turns as well. “Neither are the stars.” But she watches them anyway. Spends the next hour picking out stars from planes and helicopters as Ryan shares more stories from her van life days. It’s not the perfect escape from reality, but the company’s good. And they’re not going anywhere either.

#mine #wildmoore #batwoman #ryan x sophie #ryan wilder #sophie moore #answered

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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years ago

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The Island | KTH (One)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 9.3k

Warnings: swearing

Notes: Alright here is the first ch to my new story! I am super nervous to post this because it is a completely different vibe. But I hope you guys enjoy! Don’t worry, it turns fluffier later:) let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @monvieesdaebak @707sblog @peacedreamer14

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Your room is blinding from the soft yet striking sunrise, each beam of light swims through the blinds in piercing waves. The intense glow hits you in your sleepy state, causing you to wake from your glorious slumber. Too bright. You sit up in your bed, attempting to rub away the sleep that crusts your eyes. You begin to slowly open one lid at a time, taking in the neat appearance of your room. Your room looks the same as always—there is a nightstand next to your wooden framed bed, it holds a pale lamp and a photo of mountainous scenery. A dresser sits comfortably in front of you, it is dressed in simple décor and a large mirror. Yup, the same as always. You glance over to your sheer curtained window where the sun very offendedly washes over the room—wait. Hold on a god damn second.

Quickly, you begin to open your eyes just a bit wider—where is your royal purple ottoman? The art that hangs on your walls? Your dresser is brown not black for Christ’s sake! You ball your hand in the sheets…these don’t even feel like your sheets, yours aren’t this silky. This is not your room. Your eyebrows climb to the top of your forehead as you jerk your head around. Where the hell are you? Suddenly, you feel something rustle against your side. No…not something—someone.

Your eyes dart to the right of you, where this someone moves against the sheets. Not just someone. A man. His dark, ruffled hair sticks out between the sheets and pillow below his head. Why is there a man in bed with you? Is it…his bed? Oh god. Immediately, your mind tries to recall the night before. Did you go out and drink too much? Go home with a rando? Super unlike you though. You pull your hair as your mind races.

Sitting up in bed, worry crosses all of your features. You try to face all the possibilities that could maybe end up being your reality. But going out and partying is nowhere in your memories. You begin gnawing on your bottom lip, knowing you stayed home last night. And that you fell asleep in your own bed…alone, you might add. So where the hell are you? And why is there another person? Fear enters the picture now, this is the last place you wanted to go. You know, that horrible, terrible, dark place? The one that says your reality is that some creepy man kidnapped you and plans on doing murder-y type things to you. Yup, that place.

You tug on the end of your hair again, you know, you know, a bad habit. But you can’t help it as anxiety grows deeper within you. Were you really kidnapped? Fuck. You have to think. You’re trying to, at least. But breathing is becoming a chore. Your breaths are quick and sharp like you are on the brink of a panic attack. Shit, maybe you are. You try to eye the room again, taking in its appearance more carefully. You can’t help the shiver that speeds down your spine when you notice how perfect this single bedroom is…it actually almost resembles your guest bedroom at home. Which is creepy in itself. You continue to eye the room curiously, while staying absolutely frozen.

The dresser has more photos of pretty scenery sitting on top, as well as a few small vases that complement the rest of the décor. Anxiety continues to grow within you, shaking you to the core. You hate the way your hands tremble in your lap. You want to do something. You truly do but fuck, you can’t even move a muscle. Your breathing begins to pick up even more. Where are you? Why are you here? Who is this man sleeping so fucking peacefully next to you? Your thoughts are going 100 miles per minute, screaming at you, taunting you, giving you the middle finger.

Before you can think through your many obvious questions and answer them, the man next to you begins to stir in his sleep. You watch with wide eyes as he slowly moves to his back from his side. You stare down at him, too scared to move. Too scared to scream bloody murder. Too scared to do anything. And nothing disappoints you more. That you are nothing but a coward. You look down at your future murderer and wait for him to wake.

Future murderer slowly opens his eyes but he shies away instantly from the beaming sunlight.

“Ahhhh.” He lets go in one long breath, rubbing at his eyes in a sleepy manner. You sit still, your own breath caught in your throat. You want to move but fear has you frozen like an evening in the arctic. The man, or Future Murderer as you seemed to have named him, begins sitting up, stretching his arms out above him and yawns a song of sleep. He finally opens his eyes fully and soaks in the room before him. His head moves around quickly, his expression becoming rather…confused.

“What the fuck?”

Yup, those are his first words. Should have been yours too, if you’re being honest. This guy gets it.

Future Murderer’s facial expression grows bewildered as he looks around the room and when he finally feels your presence, he turns his head your way.

“Uh…” the Murderer narrows his eyes at you, “Hi?”

You don’t even realize the sigh of relief that pushes past your lips, but his confusion seems…genuine. And this allows you to relax your shoulders a little bit. Maybe he is a victim to whatever is going on too? You take in his disheveled appearance; he has brown wavy hair that rests above his brow line, eyes darker than the deepest part of the sea and full pouting lips. You would totally admit he’s attractive as hell but considering the fact you’re trying to convince yourself he isn’t going to murder you and the state you’re in, you’re going to push that thought away.

“Uh, who are you?” His brows knit together as he expectantly waits for an answer.

“No, who are you?” You squint at him. How dare he ask like you aren’t the one totally frazzled here? But somehow it’s comforting that he seems as confused as you are. Mystery man (his new name, since he doesn’t appear to want to murder you) (maybe) raises a single brow at you before answering,

“Taehyung.”

You listen to his name roll off his tongue and absorb it. Taehyung, huh? You hesitate for a second before finally giving your own name.

“y/n.”

Taehyung then, has the audacity to pinch his nose in annoyance. To be fair, it looks like the one he’s annoyed with is himself and not you.

“Look, sorry…” he begins, “If we hooked up last night, I don’t really remember and I—"

Your eyes widen at his words and you begin to frantically shake your head,

“No! We didn’t—we didn’t…”

“Oh?” Taehyung gives you a curious look then has the audacity to scoot several inches away from you. Then you feel his eyes on you, they search you from head to toe. You’re wearing your cat printed PJ shorts and a simple purple t shirt. You admit your hair is probably pretty wild, so you card your fingers through your locks. You start to feel insecure under his gaze as he so shamelessly eyes you.

“I don’t know who you are or where I am…do you know where we are?” you question, looking off to the side.

Taehyung pulls his eyes away from you, his head moving around to look around the room, his arms flailing.

“Does it look like I know where I am?”

You only blink at him and he rolls his eyes, “No, I don’t.” he admits.

Moments of silence pass between the two of you. You don’t know what to say at this point even though you have a million things you would like to say. But you can’t form one, coherent sentence apparently. You don’t know anything. You’re fucking clueless and you hate it. You’re trying to gather your thoughts when you feel Taehyung rise from the bed, startling you like he just committed a crime. God, you are such a coward. What? Do you really think the bed is apparently some super safe place that will protect you from the evils of the world? Taehyung walks toward the dresser and other corners of the room, inspecting it carefully.

“Fucking weird, but nice room, right?” he asks under his breath. Taehyung throws a glance over at you. “You don’t know where you are…I don’t know where I am…we both wake up in a strange room and neither of us have any recollection of how we got here.” Taehyung takes a pause to gather his thoughts. “Have you heard anything? You know, from outside the room? There could be other people.” He waits for you to answer but you stay quiet. Yes, you are on that level of coward.

You stay in the bed, anxiety building up, growing fiercer by the second. While it seems Taehyung’s attention is being stolen by the large window where the sun invites him to come take a peak. He tip toes over to the window, lifting the blinds and exposes something you imagine takes his breath way due to his audible gasp.

“Where…the fuck are we?” he asks breathlessly.

Instead of looking for yourself, you stay seated. But are we surprised? You study Taehyung’s expressions, watching for his reactions. His face falls into one of awe but after only a few moments in settles back into confusion. He reaches for the bottom of the window sill and lifts upwards, opening the window and releasing the sound of…is that waves? You continue to observe him, too afraid to see for yourself. He stands there for several long moments before turning your way and he clears his throat.

“I—I don’t…I don’t know where we are, like, really.” He takes a hesitant step towards the bed. “But something tells me neither of us are from here.”

You need a minute. Yeah, you need a minute to process his words. Because what the fuck does he mean by that? You aren’t ‘from here’? Are you on another planet or some shit? This man needs to work on his wording, for Christ’s sake. You feel your hand move just the slightest. Then your other hand. Your toes curl in and out. Seems you aren’t so frozen anymore. Things are, yes things as in waking up with a total stranger and him saying you are in an unknown place, are starting to wake you up. You’re so ashamed your solution to all of this was to stay seated in bed…but for some reason a rushing sensation of bravery washes over you.

You rise from the sheets and step one foot on to the floor. It’s not lava. So you step down with both feet and make your way over to Taehyung. You stop in front of him, tilting your head up since he has several inches over you—but nothing too intimidating, you decide. His eyes find yours and you lock eyes for a few moments. Both of you trying to search the other for answers. You break contact to face the window and wow. Your eyes animatedly widen at the sight. Palm trees and water for miles and miles it seems. No other buildings or sign of life. An island? But not the kind of island where this room is a part of some fancy resort, no, not that kind. Instead the kind where a plane crashes and a group of people have to survive.

You blink down at your new reality. First of all, you live nowhere near an island, so there’s that. You feel the anxiety and frustrations begin to surface again and you can’t help that your eyes begin to gloss over. You snap your head back to get a look at your fellow victim and he looks just as lost as you feel.

“We need to find out what’s going on.” Taehyung takes a deep breath, lifting his head up. He locks his eyes with yours again but you break contact to look at your feet.

“We don’t know anything…would if it’s not safe?” you quietly try to reason.

“Exactly, we don’t know anything and that’s a problem. You don’t expect us to stay in this room forever, do you?”

He has a point and you know it. You want to follow him out of this room but your feet seem to be glued to the floor.

“Well, no. But—”

“Didn’t think so.” He turns away from you, his body shuffling towards the bedrooms door but before he can become out of reach your hand flies to his shirt sleeve, tugging it softly.

“Wait! Just hold on—” Your voice wavers and Taehyung rolls his eyes. Rolls his fucking eyes at you!

“Listen, come. Or don’t. I don’t really care.” Taehyung releases your hold on his shirt, unsticking your fingers and throwing your hand towards your body. “Decide.” He states before swiftly turning around to head towards the door.

Oh. So this guy is a fucking asshole. Noted.

You end up following him because although he was rude about it, feeling someone’s touch when you feel so scared was slightly comforting and yes, you are aware of how fucking pathetic that is.

Taehyung stands in front of the door, his hand reaching for the knob when he turns his head to say, “Just trust me.”

And now you are the one rolling your eyes. Trust him? You just met the dude! 10 minutes ago his name was Future Murderer. How could you possibly trust this asshole?

“How can I trust you? I literally just met you.” The scowl on your face deepens when he smirks.

“Are you always such a fucking baby?”

“Are you always such a fucking baby?” you mock, eyes rolling so far into the back of your head. Okay, you admit you aren’t being the most mature here. But Taehyung doesn’t seem to take offense to it by the way he gasps and throws a hand over his heart as if wounded.

“Oh? She’s got some sass?” His question and raised brows only piss you off.

“Whatever. Let’s go.” You aren’t entirely sure where the confidence comes from but you don’t question it. You’re breezing past him, your shoulder knocking into his as you approach the door.

You feel Taehyung’s eyes on you and hear him mumble a lame, ‘that’s the spirit’ from behind you. And with that, in one swift action you are opening the door.

You stand in the open doorway, once again frozen in place. Not feeling as confident as you were 15 second ago—maybe you just need this dude to piss you off again. Speak of the devil, Taehyung steps besides you, poking his head out into the hallway searching for any sign of life.

“It’s quiet.” He takes a few steps forward, now in the middle of the hall. You glance around, the hallway has walls full of beautiful artwork, and to the right is 3 doors and to the left is a wide staircase. An exit. Bingo.

“Let’s check each room.” And of course he wants to do the opposite.

“No, let’s just get out of here.”

You turn on your feet towards the stairs and stop at the first step and raise a brow over your shoulder, “Aren’t you coming?”

Taehyung looks conflicted to say the least. He exhales deeply, looking between you and the 3 doors.

“Shouldn’t we just—”

“No! come on…” You must sound pleading and convincing because you can see him falter, just a bit. “I just want to go home…” You say, averting his gaze. Taehyung only stares at you for what feels like an eternity before he’s finally agreeing with the nod of his head.

The two of you very cautiously step down the stairs, each foot that follows the other slightly trembles in the fear of the unknown. You two finally reach the bottom and your eyes go wide at the sight. This is basically your fucking dream house. The floor plan is very open. At the center is a gorgeous grand piano, you don’t play but it’s aesthetically pleasing you guess? To the right is a long table with picture frames and décor and down the hall there seems to be more rooms.

You scan the downstairs as you slide your fingers along the edge of this table and stop when you come across a framed photo. What the actual fuck. Your eyebrows rise and your eyes grow twice their size. You very hesitantly pick up the picture as your eyes blink down at the frame in hand when your breathing begins to pick up again. It’s a framed photo of you and your sister . Now why the hell would this be here? Why is there a picture of you and your sister?? Why would someone have this? The framed photo sits in your trembling hands as you stare down at it. Taehyung notices your shaky grip on this picture and takes it from you to take a look himself. His eyes also go wide…you look between him and the picture.

“Why…why the hell is this here?” your voice betrays you as it shakes with every word.

Taehyung glances down at the table and notices his own photos with friends and family that are disgustingly and proudly displayed.

“What the actual fuck?” Taehyung whispers to no one but himself. What the hell is going on? Why does this house have pictures of the two of you? Who is doing this? Is this some sort of sick joke?

“What’s happening Taehyung?” you step closer to him feeling entirely…creeped out.

“Does it look like I fucking know?” he snaps. He sees you flinch and his eyes soften, “Sorry…Its just… this is going too far.” He finally looks as disturbed as you feel. The two of you stay quiet for a few moments, neither of you knowing how to react to this eerie discovery.

You shudder at how ominous this all is. This is becoming way too much. How much more of this can you handle? You almost want to jump into this assholes arms and sob into his navy blue t shirt.

“We should…” Taehyung wipes his sweaty hands on his sweats, “keep going.”

The two of you nod your heads in unison and turn to your left where there is an entry way to the kitchen and living room. Taehyung stops before stepping through while you join him at his side. You two glance around to soak in your surroundings—it’s also an open space, the two open areas sharing a space. The kitchen is covered in black granite and wooden cabinets with a door that probably leads outside. The living room has two matching sofas, a wide screen TV that hangs on the wall over a fireplace and built in shelves on either side, full of books, movies and games.

Taehyung and you share a look before walking through to the kitchen and living room. You approach the rooms slowly and carefully, afraid of what you might find. What surprises could be lurking. Suddenly the white glow of the TV can be seen, making you jump with its sudden brightness. Why the hell did the TV just turn on? Is this like, a haunted house? Are you being fucking haunted? Okay, maybe that’s dramatic.

The screen is bright white with nothing else on it. You turn to face Taehyung who is already staring at you with brows pinched together in confusion. Same Taehyung, same. The two of you decide to walk closer to the TV when dark, bold numbers appear.

“10….9…8…..”

The sound of soft music can be heard playing from the TV, similar to the music that’s played in an elevator, as numbers counting down from 10 begins. You feel your insides twist and turn.

“….7….6…..”

Panicked, the two of you inch closer and closer. You two stand here waiting for something, anything to occur because these might be the longest 10 seconds of your life. The millions of questions you have only multiplying. With the seconds counting down and getting closer to zero, your breathing about fucking stops. What is going to happen? You can feel your palms grow sweaty as your heart beats out of your chest. It feels like the countdown to the end of the world.

“….5….4….3…”

You don’t think Taehyung realizes just how close he is to you, his shoulders bumping into yours. You guess fear does funny things even between strangers.

“….2…..1…….”

And then it finally happens. The timer finally reaches fucking zero. And it is safe to safe your attention has been caught…anyone’s would be if a screen greets them with their god damn names.

“Welcome Kim Taehyung and Y/N Y/LN”

Your names on the screen has you automatically feeling nauseas. What sort of sick game is this? Is someone setting you up? Pranking you? If so, shits not funny. But also, why is Taehyung here? Your eyes focus on the screen as it moves to the next slide.

“It is a great honor that you two have made it this far. You have been carefully selected in this company’s project. After a lot of consideration and impressive results—we have decided to move you to the next phase.”

Naturally, very naturally you become even more confused than you fucking started. What projects? What company? You can hear Taehyung swallow hard, his nerves spiking with each word he reads. Then the slides continue.

“To put it simply, we are in the business of love.”

Huh? Huh?

Taehyung and you break your focus on the screen to steal a glance as one another very briefly before turning your heads back to the TV. What the hell they mean love? What is this absolute nonsense?

“Our use of science, technology and logic has got us here today. We test and heavily observe our chosen subjects and decide if they are the perfect match. We then move them to the final phase: The Island. This is where the two subjects meet and get along for the first time. The place they will undoubtedly fall in love.”

You can’t help that your mouth falls open, you are sure your eyes are bulging out of your head. You dare to turn to look at Taehyung and he isn’t looking much better.

Before you can really gather any thoughts the slides continue.

“Our success rate is 99%. You WILL fall in love here, it is most probable. Other subjects will come to fall in love quickly, other will take their time. BUT don’t take too long~ If two subjects are taking too long to make progress we will send a ‘Request’ to move things along and if you fail to meet said request there will be a penalty. And you have 24 hours to complete the request. This is to help you.”

You shiver while reading the words before you. You are now too anxious to even look at Taehyung right now…you don’t want to even see his reaction to all of this. Is he anxious like you? Is he laughing because there’s no way this is real? Is he nodding along taking notes because he believes it? You don’t want to fucking know!

“We give soulmates the opportunity to meet and thrive. This particular project has been in the works for well over a year.”

You blink lazily at that. Well over a year? WELL OVER A YEAR? They’ve been watching you for over a year?!

“We have carefully observed each one of you in great detail. There is nothing we don’t know. We have matched you two to be most compatible.”

Nothing they don’t know? What the hell does that mean? How exactly did they fucking observe you two? You stand here with eyes wide open and mouth agape. Taehyung mirrors your expression. He doesn’t want to believe this either.

“And you two are finally ready to proceed with The Island.”

The two of you stand in the living room, dumbstruck. Absolutely dumbstruck. You aren’t even able to look at one another for more than a hot second. A harsh blush creeping on your face and you cringe because there’s no way you could blush for this asshole.

You just…you cannot believe any of this. You refuse to. This is ridiculous. Insane.

“This island is only for the two of you. Designed specifically for you. You are being constantly monitored. Hidden cameras are placed all around the house. Minus the bedrooms and bathrooms. The décor and food is to each of your likings, we want you to feel at home as possible. Everything including books, movies, games and rooms are to your likings and match your hobbies.”

Wait a minute. You frantically shake your head, blinking furiously. Constantly being monitored? AKA you’re being fucked spied on? How are you supposed to do anything knowing you’re being watched?

“Your families have already been notified of your absence.”

You feel your heart drop. You didn’t even consider how they might feel.

“You will return safely once we feel we are satisfied with the results. This can be 3 months, 6 months, a year or even more.”

You feel Taehyung spin to face you in complete shock.

“We understand this may seem awkward at first but things will evolve naturally. So you should not worry.”

These words do not bring the least bit of comfort.

“Besides the ‘Requests’ we will not interfere. This is YOUR time to fall in love.”

“Thank you so much for your ongoing participation and please enjoy your new home and of course, each other. <3”

The added heart at the end of the last slide has both of you scrunching your faces in disgust. With that, the TV shuts off, showing nothing but the dark black screen and the reflection of two ghosts. What. The. Fuck.

You’re sure your expression is as clear as day; a mix between anger and hopelessness. You don’t want to look at Taehyung, not after everything you just read but you know you should. So you tip your head to the side to get a good look at him. Worry. All you see is worry. Look, he might be hot as hell but there ain’t no way you can fall in love with this dude. But also, you don’t know anything. You gulp, there is one thing you know. You’re going to be sick.

Your nausea is so built up, it’s at the entrance of your throat begging for release. You stand here, running a clammy hand through your hair. You are going to puke, you know it.

Without any further thinking, you run towards the back door in the kitchen that thankfully leads to outside. You run down a path that you pray to the God’s that this path does lead to the ocean so you can drown yourself in some good ol’ waves. Your anxiety has you out of breath before the run does. You finally reach sand that is warm and grainy under your bare feet and follow it to the shore.

It’s beautiful actually. The view. You wish you could really take it all in and let the calmness of the waves relax you but you are seconds away from upchucking last night’s pizza rolls. But it never comes. Your guts never make it out of your body but the anxiety remains. Falling to the ground, you pull your knees into your chest, trying to breathe and most importantly trying not to cry. This is no use though and to be honest you don’t try very hard because tears are cascading down your face within seconds. You can feel the burning in your chest as hot tears fall onto the warmth of your cheeks and it breaks you further. You sit here and wonder if you are really stuck here in this place and with a complete and total stranger. The same thought stays with you as you ball into yourself.

You sit here, indulging in quiet sobs until they finally ease into soft sniffles. You reach up to wipe your eyes, ridding yourself of tears and the thoughts that came along with them. You need to think more clearly. Okay, positive thoughts. Come on y/n, you can do this. Positive thoughts. First off, you’re not alone. You are not the only victim here. You have an acquaintance here who you are sure isn’t very pleased about this either. But wait—would if this guy is a total weirdo? A psycho? Okay, maybe being positive is harder than you thought. Plus he was a total asshole to you earlier. But maybe that will change?

You stand to your feet, feeling more determined than before. You are going to try to make the best out of this shitty situation. You brush away the annoying leftover grains of sand from your legs and your behind and turn around to make your journey back to the house, your ‘home’. Ew, you did not just call it that, you shudder at the thought. Before you start walking, you spot Taehyung aka your ‘soulmate’ ew, you did not just him call him that— sitting, leaning against a tree. Yup, right next to where you just had snot running down your nose. Before spiraling into embarrassment, you take a good look at him and oh. You step towards him and his eyes follow your movements until you are seated next to him. He’s tense, that’s for sure. But you can’t really blame him, now can you? You are a little bit selfish, aren’t you? He is clearly freaking out too yet you ran out on him. You can see his expressions now: confused, anger, upset. And something you can’t quite figure out.

Taehyung looks your way and offers you a small, tense smile and then turns his head away from you to face the ocean again, a sigh escaping his lips.

“I’m not going to fall in love with you.”

You really don’t want to feel offended because hey, that’s fair. But still, this asshole doesn’t even know you so you roll your eyes.

“I’m not going to fall in love with you dude.”

Taehyung glances at you and gives you a look, like he knows that’s impossible.

“Sure.” He says.

“You don’t fall in love with me.” You snap back, feeling like you won something.

“Yeah, that won’t be a problem.” He deadpans.

“Listen…you’re not a psycho, are you?” You narrow your eyes at him. Taehyung stares at you for a second before he dramatically rolls his eyes at you, then he narrows his own eyes.

“I’m not a psycho,” he defends, a serious expression drawn on his face. “But how do I know you’re not?”

You bite down on your lip as if really contemplating,

“Fair point.” You smile cheekily but then your face falls into a frown. “This isn’t…real, right?” you try to brush back your hair behind your ear but the wind makes it difficult. “The TV…this is a joke, right?”

Taehyung looks on towards the ocean, the big blue waves crashing in the distance. He is silent for several long, annoyingly long moments. You can’t help but wonder what goes inside his head, what is he thinking? What is he feeling? It’s got to be similar to you, right?

“Let’s say it is real. There’s a company who…who…spied on us for a year. What does that mean? They hacked our phones? Hacked our homes? How far did they go? They said they know everything…” Taehyung pauses, flinching at his own words. “So, say they do. They believe after all their research we make a good match…the perfect match, apparently.”

“Yeah, I highly doubt that.” You cut in. “We couldn’t even get along in the first 10 minutes—”

“That’s because you were being a baby.”

“That’s because you were being a—Shut up.” You huff.

“Who’s being rude now?” Taehyung smirks. “Listen, I think it’s best if we just play it safe. But I am serious…I won’t be falling in love with you. And I am not a psycho.”

“And I am serious too, I won’t.” you remind him, annoyed. “It’s you who should be careful.” You poke your tongue out and Taehyung rolls his eyes.

“So do you like pancakes? Mister Not Psycho.” You look at him with a playful smirk and he wastes no time to curve his lips downwards.

“Pancakes?” he lifts his brows but then a scowl takes over, “I’m not falling in love with you even if you make me pancakes. I still can’t get over this…they spied on us for a year y/n. Invaded our privacy…this is too much. Too much to be thinking about god damn pancakes”

“Yeah but it seems like we’re stuck together,” you reason, “Whether we like it or not. So you can maybe try not to be such an asshole to me? When I’m just as much of a victim as you are. And we still have to eat.”

Taehyung’s mouth drops a little, then he closes it, screwing his eyes shut. “You’re right…I’m sorry,” he stands to his feet. “This is all just so crazy and a lot to take in…”

“I know…” you pause, “It’s sort of like being on a vacation—”

“Just stop.”

Taehyung walks past you, heading back inside the house. Leaving you alone with nothing but the ocean.

You stare off into the wide unknown, the oceans blue emptiness swallowing you whole. This looks like a dream vacation spot, if you’re being honest. But this? This was about to be the vacation from Hell.

~~~~~~~~

You and Taehyung walk through the door back into the kitchen, a look of grimace on his face while you frown. You two decide to check out what this place has to offer. You’re both clearly skeptical of this whole entire situation, well at least he is. He feels like the only one who is acting appropriately. But he can safely assume you probably are feeling a bit skeptical yourself. You two check to see is there is anything safe to eat—if there even is food. He doesn’t know what to believe. Was this situation, he doesn’t know…real? True? Every word he read, is a loud echo in his mind screaming at him. How could he even take this seriously? How could you take this seriously? This is fucking insane! He looks over at you, who is rummaging through cabinets, you look the same as a few minutes ago—calm with an unsure expression painting your features. He hates how calm you look, he can’t help but feel so annoyed by you.

He takes a look in the large, silver fridge and is pleasantly surprised to see many foods that he likes; lots of fresh fruits, juices, milk, sandwich meats, so on. It is fully stocked. He reaches inside the fridge for a bowl a fresh fruit, his other hand grabbing for a can of whipped cream. He gives you a look and nods towards the bowl.

“Should we test them? See if we die from poison or some shit?” he half jokes, his bitter tone shining through. You try to ignore his bad attitude and smile.

“We’re testing them with a can of whipped cream?” you go for a lighter approach but he just rolls his eyes.

“Go big or go home, am I right ladies?”

You snort. Real life snort. And you consider being embarrassed but you see Taehyung’s eyes light up in amusement before they’re darkening again.

You reach for a strawberry and pop that thang in your mouth, so he does the same. You two chew cautiously, the flavor and juices bursting. These might be the best god damn strawberries either of you have ever had. Such a shame they are being enjoyed in such a situation. He turns to face you, the you who is now stuffing your face with strawberry after strawberry, he can’t help but let a chuckle slip between his lips.

“What? Go big or go home…” you pause, a smirk playing at your lips. “Right ladies?” Taehyung only rolls his eyes at your smart mouth, he won’t allow himself to laugh.

Taehyung is still trying to gather his impression of you. When you first met you were a total cry baby, then you were just annoying and now you’re trying your best to be calm. He recalls how you ugly cried just outside—god, you have been a roller coaster of a person but considering your situation he understands why.

He believes he was more unbothered and brave after having first woken up…but after seeing those framed photos he got freaked the fuck out, to put it simply. Then the TV…everything just went downhill from there. And he sees what you’re doing…you’re trying to be strong. And he hates you for it. Why is he being the weak one here? How are you doing it with such ease? He’s spiraling. His whole life just got put on pause. His dreams and aspirations? Pause. Friends and family? Pause. His love life? P-Pause? He can’t help but worry over every detail, not to mention…is any of this the truth? Are you two just supposed to believe the god forsaken words that you read on the TV screen? And you went on about this being like a damn vacation. Unbelievable! But all he can do right now is breathe in and breathe out and try to be himself. Which at the moment is a really unhappy person.

You and Taehyung continue reaching into the bowl for more refreshing fruit, your fingers brushing against one another like this is a god damn Hallmark movie, but you don’t seem to be fazed by it so he won’t either. Even though it’s driving him crazy, he doesn’t want to touch you. He wonders what your thoughts are on the whole ‘love’ thing? It’s ridiculous. Don’t get him wrong, in a different situation he could see himself getting along with someone like you, maybe even hook up…but fall in love? Not likely. Plus he already has someone. Sort of.

“Ah, wait…” He pauses mid bite.

“Hm?” you hum, mouth full.

“Aren’t we like, supposed to be finding pancake mix or whatever shit you wanted to find?”

With a roll of your eyes, you lick your fingers clean while the other hand lays rest on you hip. (And no, his eyes did not linger when you sucked on your fingers and no, they did not travel down to your hand that rest comfortably on your nice hips.)(And no, he did not just think your hips are nice.)

“Couldn’t find any!” you dramatically yell out, “You guys FAILED us!” you then look over at him with a smirk, “So much for being experts right?” you scoff, he almost wants to laugh at your dramatics but he just stares at you blankly.

But soon that blank stare is changing into a sour one when he realizes just who you are talking to…the very company that trapped you here. The one that’s watching over you right now. Or so they say.

“We should inspect the whole house.” He says seriously, “You know, get to know this ‘vacation home’ or whatever bullshit you said.”

You look down at your feet, feeling fucking embarrassed.

“Sorry for calling it that I—”

“I know,” Taehyung kind of smiles, “You were just trying to make us feel better. I get it.” His tone is softer than even he intended.

“It didn’t really help, did it?” you scratch the top of your head, feeling sheepish.

“Not really.” He answers honestly, with hard eyes. “Now come on, let’s check things out.”

You nod your head with an eye roll, he still chooses to be dickish.

The two of you walk into the living room to the entertainment center. The TV is surrounded by shelves of books, movies, and games. Apparently all to your liking, so you guess you will see how true that is.

“Woah, there’s Mortal Kombat. Sweet.” You comment, the game case in your hand.

“Woah, I can kick your ass at Mortal Kombat. Sweet.” Taehyung plainly responds while shuffling other games between his hands.

“Don’t even. I will play you right now.” You try lightening the mood but he just rolls his eyes.

“We have other important things to do, need I remind you?” he begins lecturing you and you scoff.

“You don’t need to remind me our shitty situation. Your stupid face is reminder enough.” You bite.

“Oh?” Taehyung continues to look through cases, barely paying attention to you.

“Anyway,” you clear your throat. “There’s tons of movies here and TV shows as well,” you gesture toward the bottom of the shelf. “Some I have never seen before,” you squat down, your fingers brushing against DVD cases until you stop at one in particular, pulling it out. “Like, what the hell is ‘Castaway on the Moon’?”

Taehyung’s eyes widen, “UH, only my most favorite movie ever?” he says, taking the case from you.

“Looks weird.” You comment plainly.

“Weird—it’s not weird! It’s actually really good I swear, actually you know what?” Taehyung huffs out, it’s the first time you’re seeing him get so worked up. It’s amusing. “I don’t have to explain myself to you.” He pouts, clearly wounded you would think to call his favorite movie ‘weird’.

“Plus, who’s weird?” he asks, “What’s with all this anime? I know it ain’t mine.”

You jut out your bottom lip in guilt, your cheeks turning a rosy pink.

“Well, well…”

“Well, well…” he mocks, feeling satisfied.

You raise your eyes to meet his and walk an inch towards him, never breaking contact.

“I’ll give yours a shot, if you give mine a shot?” you challenge, sticking out your hand. He guesses you want him to shake it.

He takes a moment to let his eyes linger on yours. They’re dark. Plain. Boring. Nothing special. He looks away and scoffs but the idea of sharing his favorite movie with someone does pique his interest.

“Deal.” He says, going in for the handshake. He feels your hand in his and doesn’t expect your skin to be so soft.

“Deal.” You say with an evil glint in your eye. “I’m going to make you watch so much good shit.” You continue to hold on to his hand, you look down at them and become slightly shy. You just remembered your situation. You keep staring for an odd amount of time before you drop his hand and shake your head.

“Should we check out the other rooms?” you start walking towards the entry way back into the main area of the house, but stop to turn and look at him.

“Yeah, I suppose we can do that.” He answers back, trying to sound as neutral as possible.

The two of you walk back into the main area where the rooms are located. He hesitantly creaks open the first door. He’s met with a room so fitting. A room full of art supplies. Drawing boards, brushes, paint, etc. He feels his palms pool with sweat.

“Do you make art?” you question, looking up at him.

“Yeah.” He gulps, feeling creeped out all over again. “They really did their research, huh?” he whispers to himself.

You two stand in the doorway, taking it all in. Taking in what this could really mean for you two. It begs the question: Were they really spying on you for over a year? Do they really know everything there is to know about you two?

You softly nudge Taehyung, “Why don’t we move on to the next room?” you suggest. He turns his head to face you as he swallows hard, nodding his head in agreement.

The next room is nothing spectacular, just a home gym.

“You work out?” he asks.

“Barely,” you admit, a small smile tugging at your lips. “I always have the excuse of not having time or not wanting to go all the way to a gym. Guess I have no excuse now.” You look up at him with a sheepish grin. It’s hard to believe you don’t work out, Taehyung thinks. You have great legs.

“I see.” He turns his back to you, exiting the room.

The next room really wows Taehyung. He doesn’t mean for it to. He wants to hate this place.

It’s a room full of musical instruments and recording equipment.

“Holy shit.” He accidentally lets out. He walks around the room, touching things with just his fingertips. “This is like grade A equipment, I could only dream of owning shit like this.” He truly does not mean to be in awe of the music room, you know, because the enemies gave it to him but holy shit!

There’s only one room left and you swear to god it better be for you. You two slowly open the door together to reveal an interests of yours.

“Is this…? Like, a dance studio or something?” He questions, glancing around the room, “Are you a dancer?” he finally looks at you and he seems quite impressed.

You look…surprised, to say the least. Your brows shooting up all the way toward your hairline, your eyes darting all around the room.

“N-Not exactly…I mean, kind of?” you admit, your eyes falling to your hands. He tilts his head in confusion.

“I…I just have a serious interest I guess you could say,” you look all around the room again, “But I,” you play with your fingers. “I have never said it out loud to anyone.”

“Oh.” Taehyung breathes out in understanding. So, these fuckers really did spy on you guys. In depth. You both feel goosebumps rise on your arms, making you both feel a chill.

“Let’s head upstairs. Shall we?”

The upstairs has 4 doors in total. You both know the door closest to the staircase is the bedroom you woke up in.

“There’s no bathroom in this room,” he motions towards the door. “And the closet was empty. So, it’s not the master and that—”

“That means there’s multiple bedrooms.” you finish for him, and you both sigh in relief.

He means, this place has a goal of getting you together, so he wouldn’t be surprised if they only offered you one bedroom, but thank the God that he doesn’t believe in that there’s more than one bedroom.

“Yeah exactly,” he breathes out. “I’m willing to bet the door at the end of the hall is the master. Wanna just skip ahead?”

“Sure,” you agree, walking past him to beat him to the door at the end of hall. But you wait for him to reach the door as well before you’re reaching for the knob and slowly turning it, swinging the door open.

The room is big, a huge king size bed in the center of the back wall. Thankfully, the drapes are dark so not a lot of natural sunlight enters the room, Taehyung thinks.

“Hell yeah, dark curtains.” You say excitedly. Obviously reading his mind.

He follows behind you, keeping his comments to himself as you ooh and aah at your surroundings. He is impressed by the rooms simple yet he guesses you could say intriguing décor. Definitely fits his style, but he won’t say that out loud. As an artist himself, the paintings on the walls are very pleasing to the eye. He wonders if they suit you as well. If you’re his ‘soulmate’ they would, he thinks bitterly. He could see himself adding his own artwork to this room. He wonders if you would be okay with that as well—wait. What is he saying? It’s not like you two will be sharing this room!

You drag your fingers across the comforter on the bed.

“Soft.” You mumble to yourself.

He chews on his lips for a moment before speaking, “You can have it…” he shifts from one foot to the other. “The room, I mean. I’ll just take the other bedroom.”

“Really? You sure?” The excitement is evident in your voice. “Wait no—that’s not very fair. We could thumb wrestle for it or—”

He raises a brow, “Thumb wrestle? Really?”

“Mortal Kombat?” you offer.

“That just wouldn’t be fair, I would win too easily.” He says, not impressed. “Just take the room. I’m sure.”

“Fine…thank you.” you bow your head down in defeat.

The two of you walk towards the master bath and your eyes come close to popping out of your heads. It is huge! And super fancy! He’s not good at fancy words but he’ll put it simply, the countertop is long with two sinks. Two sinks. The shower has one of those rain shower head things and woah. That’s for like, rich people. The way you are gawking at this bathroom tells him you’re having the same thoughts as him. Yours are probably fancy like, “This extravagant marble bathtub looks exquisite against these cream colored walls. Very…dashing.” Or some wild shit like that.

The closet is next, He’ll be completely honest. He forgot you would need clothes and shit. But holy moly, there are rows and rows of clothes, both yours and his. There is jewelry (Not really sure why that’s necessary but like, okay) and shoes on shelves against the walls. It was more than he owned himself back at home.

“Honestly I forgot about needing clothes…since we like…live here now.” The words are sour leaving your mouth, he can tell. But also, you are obviously reading his mind again.

“What? You thought you would be wearing your cute little PJ’s 24/7 or what? Wear nothing at all maybe?” he asks, shuffling from one foot to the other. He’s uncomfortable.

“ha-ha.” you deadpan. “I just haven’t really thought about what this all entails is all.”

He frowns at your words,

“We should probably talk about it, right? What this all means, I mean.” His questions causes a shift in the atmosphere. The air becoming a little thicker.

You only nod and turn on your feet to head back into the bedroom. He quickly follows behind you, both of you stopping at the foot of the bed.

“Let’s talk then.” You bite your lip, swaying side to side.

He needs to be honest. He is clearly so confused about all this. Fucking puzzled. He means, what if just what if this company was real? And this company was…right? Are you really a match made in heaven? No, that can’t be. That would be fucking ridiculous. He’s being ridiculous for even considering it. But you two obviously need to talk. Have a fucking chit chat.

You plop down on the edge of the bed and he follows your lead, finding a spot right next to you. Your knee shakes up and down quickly while you play with the hem of your shirt. You’re obviously nervous as fuck, which he can’t really blame you. He watches you for a few moments before hesitantly placing a hand over your shaking knee, trying to stop the anxious movement and hoping to God he is not crossing any serious lines, he’s just really getting annoyed by your shaking knee and needs that shit to stop. You turn your head to face him and he is met with a look of frustration. He turns his head to face straight ahead and with a heavy sigh he says, “I feel that way too.” Because it’s true, you both must feel the same. It’s not like you want to be stuck here with him either. Right?

You finally let out a long breath, “How long?” you whisper. “How long will we be stuck here?” you begin to sniffle as your eyes become wet. Shit. He brings his hands to his lap and interlocks his fingers together.

“I…I don’t know.” He answers honestly. “But what are your thoughts? On what we read…” he clears his throat, clarifying as if it wasn’t already obvious.

You suck in a sharp breath, “I don’t know what to believe.” You admit. “But we are…” you gesture between you two, “This is—This is not happening.”

Taehyung rolls his eyes as if that wasn't the most obvious statement in the world. He. Could. Not. Agree. More.

You continue, “Someone deciding for me? On this part of my life? That doesn’t sit right with me. No fucking thank you.”

“Yeah, me either.”

“I mean,” you turn to face him, “You seem decent and all, when you’re not being an ass, but this is all insane. Just insane.” You wear an annoyed expression, shaking your head in disbelief. He breathes out of his nose in attempt to laugh.

“Yeah, you’re telling me.”

“But…” you pause, choosing your next words carefully…you have to be careful with this next part. “But if it’s real? What are we—” and yup, just as expected, you are cut off with just a look. He furrows his brows together and pushes his head back in surprise.

“This can’t be forced y/n.” he states firmly. You raise your hands up in surrender.

“Oh my god, Taehyung. I know that! I fucking know, jeez. But we have to talk about all the possibilities.” You say firmly, “We’re stuck here for who knows how long and you read the same thing as me, right?” you push on, “3 months? 6 months? A fucking year?” you drag a heavy hand down your tired face. “And don’t even get me started on these damn ‘Requests’ and whatever they are!” You are clearly very frustrated…Taehyung looks at you with the same pity you’re sure he feels for himself.

“Okay, okay.” For the first time Taehyung speaks to you much more softly. “Listen, they can’t keep us here forever? We are going to prove we are that 1%. We just got to stay out of one another’s way and just wait it out until they return us home.” Then his frown deepens, “But wait, what about the ‘Requests’?” he asks, concern lacing his voice.

You strum your fingers on your thigh, staring down at your lap, in deep thought.

“I know this is weird but…” Taehyung starts.

“I know, we have to talk about it.” You finally look up at him and your entire face has gone pink.

“If the ‘Requests’ are, I don’t know, “pure” enough, we could just like do them?” you look at him with doe eyes, “Or like, if the penalty isn’t that bad…. I don’t know.” You ramble on.

The thing is, neither of you know what to expect from these ‘Requests’ and their penalties. It’s one huge mystery. And neither you nor Taehyung are a fan of mysteries. Taehyung watches as you begin shaking your knee in total panic again when he clears his throat.

“Hey…I think we can worry about that when or if the time comes, okay?”

“When or if…” you repeat slowly. “Okay.”

He stands from his place at the bed and begins walking towards the bedroom door.

“As long as we stay out of each other’s way, we should be good.”

“Stay out of each other’s way…” you nibble on your lips, “Like, we don’t talk or anything?”

“Precisely. You do your thing, I’ll do mine.”

“But—”

“That’s just the way it’s got to be.”

“Fine.” You speak bitterly, “Fine by me.”

Stuck on a beautiful island in a beautiful house with a beau—with a man. What could possibly go wrong? Vacation from hell, here we go.

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #kim taehyung #taehyung x reader #bts fanfic #taehyung smut #taehyung #taehyung angst #taehyung fluff #the island chapter 1

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1kook · 4 years ago

Text

disney+ & bust

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb. It’s not. It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. warnings; arguments, feelings of insecurity, bit of asshole jk, smut in the forms of degradation, dumbification, choking, fingering, spit kink, self punishment, unprotected but [ passionate ] sex, jk losing his cool, return of mean jk, he is actually an emotional mess in this one wtf miscellaneous; ANGST, anniversaries, the L word😳, app developer kook, rip ‘pretty girl’ </3, we all become phineas and ferb stans word count; 13k !!

notes; me: *writes couple who’s whole arc is being silly* y’all: MAKE THEM SUFFER GIVE US ANGST!! u ask I deliver so now we all suffer 😐 ngl it was hard writing this fic n u might notice there’s some parts that seem weird n that’s bc this was TWO fics w diff wording but I ended up mixing them bc I’m insane. still had a lot of fun! felt like I challenged myself!! not proofread bc when I say we suffer we SUFFER

please let me know what you think!!! a simple ask goes a long way <3

previous part: kissanime & foreplay

Approximately one week after The Bullet Bestie’s rise to prominence, Jungkook grows annoyed with it as his weirdly competitive nature rears its ugly head the more and more orgasms that little vibrator coaxes out of you. It turns on a weird switch in him, something slightly stuck up and snooty that he’ll never admit to out loud but is there nonetheless. By the following Friday, The Bullet Bestie is nestled deep in your garbage can and Jungkook’s back to pleasuring you with his tongue and fingers alone.

He had those moments in him, the ones where he liked to think he was better than any and everyone else, and occasionally they manifested against inanimate objects like a bullet vibrator.

Despite his polite and generally soft exterior, you catch glimpses of that cocky spirit more than anyone else. Over the past year, you’ve come to realize that Jungkook’s personality was like a coin that had been left out in the sun too long. He had this sweet and reserved nature you saw most times, a kindhearted boyfriend who adored you almost as much as you adored him. He was your angel whom you knew had a heart of gold, even if you were slowly bringing out his more childish tendencies. You knew him like the back of your hand, knew what his mom’s favorite color was and how he liked to stack the plates in his cabinet according to size and make. It was a side that was rusted from years of being out in the sun, basking in its adoring warmth, and you loved every inch about it.

And still, there was this other side to him you rarely saw. This cocky asshole who hid beneath the soft smiles and careful hands, making his appearance only through sly smirks and a tongue prodding against the inside of his cheek. He was a braggart, a man who knew his greatness yielded for no one and wanted that fact shoved down everyone’s faces. This Jungkook, this other side that never saw the light of day, was like the Hyde to his Jekyll. An unexpected, almost mean side to him that only dared make his appearance when his exhilaration was at an all-time high. Like when he was fucking you into another dimension, or kicking your ass in Mario Kart, or like now, when he was receiving an award at an annual tech ceremony.

On the eve of your one year anniversary, Jungkook’s company invites him to an awards ceremony for other web and app developers like him. It’s a grand event, filled with all the biggest nerds in the developing industry here to present the baby nerds with awards. Jungkook lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, both a seasoned player and a rookie all at once. He spends the night tolling you around in a floor-length gown and fangirling over all the “legends” in the room.

You know next to none of these people and none of their accomplishments but still pretend you respect them to hell and back. By the end of the main dinner, you’re sympathizing with Barbie’s ever-smiling features because your cheeks feel sore.

Towards the end of the night, Jungkook wins that random award— okay, who were you fooling? He wins the Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award, recognizing him for all the hard work you’ve seen him put in this past year. It’s probably the highest recognition he can receive at this point in his career. It was an esteemed award that was bestowed upon only the most innovative developer of the year among tech companies, something Jungkook had briefly mentioned he always wanted. It’s basically the equivalent of placing first place in his field, but given Jungkook’s competitive industry and his young age, you think it’s like telling all these old Facebook lords to suck his big fat cock. (But that was your job when you got home.)

He gives a short little thank you speech, promising to work hard and own up to this title. The people around you are swooning, obviously endeared with his soft puppy dog features and melodic voice. They don’t know him like you do, don’t know that uppity twist to his grin like you do. It doesn’t slip off his face even when he steps down off the stage, arms wide open as he comes barreling towards you. Even with you in his arms, the congratulations that are thrown from every direction ring loudly in his ears and swell that ego of his.

The night goes like that for the most part, Jungkook’s acquaintances approaching him every few minutes to rain down their praises. He goes a little crazy at the open bar after a while, shoving the gold trophy into your arms as his beloved work seniors whisk him off for drinks. You don’t mind because you resigned yourself to a night of playing Jungkook’s perfectly perfect partner anyway, watching him politely mingling with his coworkers. Despite his earlier success, you know he won’t brag about it verbally. No, he’ll wait until the two of you get home—your place or his—and remind you how amazing he is with a quick snap of his hips.

As you said, he’ll never boast aloud.

However, that doesn’t mean you won’t.

“That’s my boyfriend,” you explain to the seventh person that greets you that night, excitedly pointing to where said boyfriend was slowly losing all sense of self by the bar. You don’t know anyone here beside Jungkook, and you’re pretty sure no one in their hammered minds is going to remember who you are anyway, so a little gloating never hurt anyone. “He won the ‘I’m Better Than Everyone Else’ award tonight,” you emphasize to the tipsy woman beside you who only laughs at your exaggeration. You assume she’s like you, accompanying one of the many developers here, because as soon as you finish boasting about Jungkook she moves to brag about someone too.

Truth be told, you spend the whole night re-analyzing the Zootopia movie you saw on Disney+ the other night in your head. So if the little fox fellow didn’t control himself would the city have fallen to ruins? Why was the useless sheep girl so evil and bitter? Why was there an unreal amount of romantic tension between the fox and the rabbit? Whatever, you’ll have to rewatch it some other night, and with your new Disney+ account, you could watch it anywhere you wanted to.

Now, you had never bothered to purchase a Disney+ subscription or even tried to swindle Jungkook for his password before. As far as you know, Disney+ was filled with old tv shows from your childhood, sitcoms that made you laugh when you were ten. There’s nothing wrong with that, but personally, you were a firm believer that that which was perfect should not be touched once finished; in other words, you were utterly terrified you’d rewatch an old episode of The Wizards of Waverly Place, only to find out the same joke you’ve been regurgitating for the past ten years doesn’t actually go that way.

However, the harsh reality was that Disney+ was good for a few things. Ugh, you hate when giant corporations provide decent services. Aside from Zootopia, you’ve watched about every animated media on there as well, all of which you replay in your mind as Jungkook has the time of his life with these nerds, knocking back champagne glass after champagne glass.

Anyway, the night ends a little past midnight, and Jungkook who is buzzed on alcohol and high on exhilaration ends up calling an Uber for the two of you. Your apartment— the new one he had not only helped you hunt for but also helped you move into, greatly cutting the cost of movers out with those glistening biceps and thick thighs —is still going through her rebellious phase where the potted plants are trying to take over, courtesy of Kim Namjoon. So for now, there’s a potted plant in an awkward corner that both of you stub your toe against on your way to your bedroom.

You’re thinking Jungkook is going to go to town tonight, given the fact he’s on Cloud 9 and has had his ego stroked by a bunch of dudes for the past couple hours. Maybe you guys can try out the hot role-playing scenario you saw on GirlsWay a few weeks ago, or the handcuffs you impulsively bought from Amazon one Monday night. Or maybe, and this one really makes you flutter, he’ll let you fully take the reins for once.

All those lewd fantasies end up being for naught because just as you shimmy out of your gown (with the help of his hands, of course) and turn to climb him like a tree, he’s on the other side of the room getting your makeup remover out for you. And also talking. A lot. And way more than usual.

“Did you see him, babe?” he sighs, dare you to say, dreamily, handing you the cotton pads as he begins pulling a million pins out of your hair. Slowly and with a lot of confusion, you pull your fake lashes off and begin cleaning your face. “He was amazing.”

“Uh-huh,” you say, having absolutely no idea who ‘he’ is or why Jungkook is so in love with him and not you at this very moment. “But so were you,” you add. Perfect. Stroke his ego and then stroke his cock.

Jungkook sputters at your praise. He’s carefully placing your hairpins on your thigh, cheeks flaming red every time he leans over you. “Was I?” he murmurs, voice sweet in that cute little way it always gets when he’s downed one too many shots of whiskey, enough to be buzzed but not enough to be wasted.

You turn and the pins clatter to the floor and across the bedsheets. “Yes,” you confirm, ignoring his sad huff at the mess you’ve made. Instead, you grab him by the collar of that pink button-up he taunted you with all night. “You were fucking incredible and I think incredible men deserve to have their dick sucked.”

Jungkook laughs at your vulgar statement, holding you gently by the hips as you climb into his lap. “Is that so?” The soft, shy persona is gone now, replaced by the gentle stirring beneath his dress pants. You nod hurriedly, plopping down on his lap and running your hands through his styled hair.

“Yes,” you confirm, kissing the corner of his mouth. “Luckily for you, I know this nymphomaniac who would gladly gobble up your cock at your every command.”

He snorts just as you push him into his back, nose adorably scrunched up. “First of all, you know I hate that word,” he chuckles, finally gracing you with a sweet peck that only makes you want him to fuck you into the fifth dimension. “Secondly, please don’t ever say you’ll gobble my cock up ever again.”

Something inside of you squeals with excitement as he rolls the two of you over, firm body pressing down on yours. “Oh, baby,” you groan, lazily throwing a leg over his hip. Jungkook grins and then decides to entertain you for a few minutes with a sloppy kiss.

You say a few minutes because just as things are heating up, he pulls away. He smiles apologetically. “As much as I’d love to be here with you, I actually have an early morning tomorrow.”

You frown at the sudden change in events. “Huh? They’re gonna make you work the morning after a Gatsby party?” you gasp, sitting up as he gets off of you. With every step he takes away from the bed your heart breaks a little more. “They can’t do that— that’s illegal!”

From the doorway he levels you with a comically raised brow. “No, it’s not.”

You scamper after him down the hall, watch the muscles in his back flex as he pulls his suit jacket on. “You can’t work on our anniversary— that’s illegal!” you offer instead.

He stops at your front door, feet squeezed back into his shoes. “Baby, it’s not,” he rolls his eyes, leaning down to peck your forehead. “It was either I work in the morning or work at night,” he explains, giving your messy hair a soothing caress. He’s looking at you with those eyes, the ones that make your heart lodge itself into your throat and make life a tightrope experience. There’s a devastatingly lovesick part of you that wants this moment, this kind face, to be engraved into your mind for the rest of your life. You want this to be the first and last thought you have and nothing else: just Jungkook’s adoring gaze on you for the rest of time.

The moment ends too soon when he flutters one last peck against your lips. “I’ll be done in the afternoon, okay?”

You pout. “Okay, your place?” you huff, making sure to get one last octopus squeeze around his waist. He nods. “Promise you won’t be late?”

The corners of his gaze soften. “You know I won’t,” he smiles, leaning down to bump your noses together playfully. “Can’t stay away from my pretty girl too long. Besides, I have a gift for you tomorrow.”

It’s with that sentiment and a hammering heart that you let him go. With Jungkook gone, there’s really nothing for you to do now. You took the next two days off in preparation for your anniversary sex, so you don’t have to head to sleep early like usual.

With nothing else planned, you decide on rewatching that Zootopia movie that had plagued you all night, ready to dissect every plot hole to hell and back. You don’t think Jungkook’s seen this movie yet so you add it to your long list of animated movies you’re forcing him to watch.

Part of you is actually really surprised Jungkook left. Well, kinda sorta, very, but not really. Jungkook was a good boy, that much was obvious. He took his job seriously, and if his job wanted him to come in at the asscrack of dawn, then he’d come in before the sun even rose. He was a goody-two-shoes, but even so, you were occasionally able to bring out that darker side in him.

Jungkook working, like actually working in an office setting, was pretty rare though. The dude had a chill job that let him stay home most of the time, and essentially clock in whenever he wanted. Every now and then you were able to convince him to stay, tucking him beneath your body or the covers, depending on the night, and refusing to let him go the morning after.

Once he had eaten you out until the wee hours of the day, ravenous between your thighs, and then went to work the next morning like he hadn’t broken you. Another time you had persuaded him into watching every season of the 2017 DuckTales reboot through the night. When the alarm had rung in the middle of the season finale, he had simply gotten into your shower and gone off to work.

So maybe you were a little confident in your skills, and Jungkook slipping between your fingers tonight was a huge bummer. But there was no use crying over spilled milk, you tell yourself, flinging your bra off somewhere in the corner as you snuggle back into your sheets. You’re ready to tear this Zootopia movie apart, scene by scene.

Even though your apartment is a little cold, you’re comforted by the fact Jungkook will be here to keep you warm all day tomorrow.

All men do is lie.

Despite his promise to come home early the next day, Jungkook ends up lying. The meeting he had been in all morning— the same one that had stopped you from getting bent like a pretzel the night before —drags on well past noon. Then, Kim Namjoon, AKA Jungkook’s favorite senpai in the entire world, catches wind of Jungkook’s success last night and absolutely has to take him out to lunch to celebrate.

You scoff, glaring down at your phone and the impulsive messages you’d sent out an hour ago when Jungkook had first texted you telling you he would be late.

You whirl around to stomp off in the direction of his living room, where all of yours and Jungkook’s favorite foods were growing colder by the minute. You had spent the longest time carefully laying them out, making sure the fried chicken was closer than the pizza but not closer than the breadsticks. Truthfully it’s a nightmare. There are about eight stomach aches worth of food sitting on his coffee table, the greasy stench makes you gag and will certainly stick to your hair for weeks, but none of that mattered because it was all for your beau.

Your very late beau who was making you grow more and more agitated with each minute that passed. Ugh! How inconsiderate of him to test your patience on a day like this. You didn’t want to be upset with him, but this was your first, real milestone as a couple with him. You had wanted to spend the whole day cuddled up, maybe finally tell him how much he really meant to you— definitely not waking up alone with eyeliner crusted eyes and an aching heart.

Deciding you’re being a little too dramatic, you head into the bedroom to calm down. This was fine, you tell yourself, carefully laying out the damn near harlotrous lingerie you had yet to put on. Jungkook would come over soon and everything would be A-okay.

Except for the part it’s actually F-not okay because soon it’s nearing sunset and the food has gone cold so you’ve stocked it into the fridge, and the pretty sheer bra has a wonky wire that’s two seconds away from piercing through your heart, but that doesn’t even matter because Jungkook being late for your all-day anniversary celebration has already ripped it to shreds anyway.

You plop down on the couch in defeat, impulsively opening up the Disney+ app to cry through another episode of Phineas and Ferb. You’ve abandoned the satin robe that came with the lingerie in favor of donning a big t-shirt that smells like him and makes your heart hurt even more. The setting sun paints the living room in muted oranges, the chirping of birds outside the soundtrack to your lonely day.

You end up watching some other cartoon on Disney+, avoiding the Marvel section because you had promised Jungkook he could be there when you lost your Marvel virginity. Well, at least one of you was good at keeping promises, you think bitterly. For a second, you think about randomly watching one of the infamous MCU films out of order just to spite him. But then you think of that soft puppy gaze and how disappointed he’d be in you.

Whatever! It wouldn’t ever match up to the way you felt now.

Anyway, you circle back. When you’re five episodes into Phineas and Ferb you hear the doorknob rattle.

You sit up just as the door swings open, visible from your spot on the couch. He meets your gaze almost immediately, big doe eyes caught in the act. What act? You’re not really sure. In fact, you don’t even know what you’re looking at when he walks in because he’s drowning in shopping bags. His lips twist into a grin. “Honey, I’m home,” he says playfully.

You don’t laugh.

Jungkook frowns, dumping all his bags down at the entrance before waddling over towards you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he asks, coming to stand before you and cupping your face in his hands. He’s towering over you, so tall and gorgeous but for the first time, you’re not dazed by his beauty.

“Kook, you said you’d be back hours ago,” you say slowly, avoiding his gaze. You try to keep the frustration out of your voice, but you’ve had hours to dwell on it now, and those annoying cartoon characters, though charming at first, had only served to multiply your annoyance.

Jungkook blinks, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I mean… yeah. But I got you presents?” he beams, glancing back at the mountainous pile he made by the door. You look over too. There are some luxury bags squeezed in between other shops you like, the occasional jewelers' logo on the side.

You stand with a sigh, sauntering off into the kitchen with him on your tail. “I don’t want presents,” you mumble, reaching to pour yourself a glass of water. You’re briefly aware of how childish you must seem. Jungkook hovers behind you.

“What? Yes, you do,” he says. “You had an entire wishlist on my Amazon of things you wanted.” It’s his turn to level you with an unreadable expression, slowly crossing his arms over his chest.

Your frown only deepens as you turn to match his stance against the counter. While it may be true that you did indeed have an entire list of impulsive items on his Amazon, that didn’t necessarily mean you wanted them all. Sometimes you just wanted to stare longingly at a pair of satin gloves without actually buying them. You don’t know how to explain this much to him. “They’re not…” you stop with another deep breath. “Forget it. Thank you for the presents.”

Now it’s Jungkook’s turn to question you. “What,” he says in an unimpressed tone, padding over to you before you can escape back into the living room to watch the entire princess movie collection on Disney+. “No, tell me what’s wrong.”

For some reason, that’s exactly what you don’t want to hear. “Jungkook,” you say flatly, narrowing your eyes at him. “You come home six hours after you said you would without telling me why, and normally I wouldn’t care, but today was supposed to be a special day for us.”

Jungkook reels at your bluntness. “Babe, I was out getting stuff for you. I know it’s our anniversary— that’s why I wanted to treat you,” he responds, oddly condescendingly like you’re a child who doesn’t understand what exactly he was doing.

You brush his hands away from your shoulders. “Yeah,” you huff. “Now I know that. But I spent all day waiting for you,” you stress, chest puffing as you grow more and more agitated by his inability to understand you. God, can he let you go now? At least a bunch of animated, geometrically drawn cartoons won’t question you like this and make you feel as childish as he was.

When he doesn’t say anything else you stomp back into the living room, snatching up your phone from its forgotten spot against the couch. “I’m going to bed.”

At that Jungkook seems to kickstart back to life. “What? ___, it’s barely six,” he says as he follows after you into your bedroom. You ignore him, shuffling beneath the covers. In all actuality, you’re going to bed to mope and watch more animated family shows, maybe cry under the guise of the plot just being so sad. Jungkook sits beside you just as you click back on to finish off your episode. “Baby, I don’t get it,” he sighs. “You’re always talking about how much you want this or that, and I go out and get you it all but now you’re mad?”

You bite down on your lip, eyes lasered in on the pictures moving before you. “Jungkook, just forget it.”

“No,” he says, more sternly than he’s ever been with you before. “If there’s a problem, tell me.” There’s a heavy pause, and then he says, “don’t make me waste my time guessing what’s wrong, okay?”

“Waste your time?” you scoff, sitting up with pinched brows that you find match his. “I’m not trying to waste anyone’s time— in fact, that’s hot coming from you, Jungkook.”

He rolls his eyes. “What are you even saying? You’re mad because I took a little long getting presents, for you, might I add,” he huffs, plopping down on the edge of the mattress beside your knee. “You’re always saying you want this and that, but you can’t handle me going out to get those things? Do you hear how weird you sound?”

You whip the covers off of you. “Me talking about things doesn’t always mean I want them,” you defend.

Jungkook snorts. “Yes, it does,” he says. “Anytime you ramble about stuff for minutes like a little kid it’s because you want me to buy it for you.”

You blink. “Like a little kid?” you repeat, stunned by his comparison. Granted, you always knew you were the more childish of the two, but you never thought that would equate Jungkook thinking of you as a child. Something red and nasty flares in your chest. “Well sorry,” you spit, crossing your arms over your chest defensively, “sorry we all can’t be perfectly mature golden boys who would never see the light of day if I constantly wasn’t dragging them out.” You know it’s a somewhat low blow, especially because Jungkook’s told you before how his introverted tendencies were a sensitive issue growing up, but you can’t help it.

Jungkook groans, dropping his head into his hands. “Baby, don’t do this now,” he warns, digging the heels of his palms into his eyes. “Stop acting like this.”

“Like how?” you spit, “like a kid?” Jungkook says nothing, leveling you with a blank stare from the corner of his eye. You roll your eyes, phone falling off your lap. Another episode of Phineas and Ferb had started, the corny opening tune filling the space between the two of you. “At least now I know what you think of me,” you mutter over the guitar riff.

“Oh my god,” Jungkook blurts, sitting up wildly. “Of course I’m gonna think of you as a stupid little kid, look at you,” he seethes, gesturing at the phone beside you. You flinch. “All you do is watch kids shows and whine whenever I wanna watch anything normal adults watch. You complain every single day about the most normal things, like your job? Why should I fucking care that you’re working a dead-end office job in a field you didn’t even study for— that’s not my problem, __!” he snaps, eyes narrowed into little slits. “I just won an award last night,” he says suddenly, voice back to its regular volume. “I’m at the height of my career and I’m only going up, but I can’t even enjoy that because I have to come home and cater to you,” he finishes, a loud scoff punctuating the final word.

You had never imagined Jungkook finally bragging about himself would be at your expense.

A beat of silence passes, the angry glint in his eyes quickly fading away the longer you don’t say anything. You sniff once, turning your head idly to the side where Phineas and Ferb is still blaring loudly from your phone speaker. Picking up the device, you throw it across the room where it hits his closet door with a terrifying bang the breaks the silence.

The sound snaps Jungkook out of whatever shock he’d been in. “Baby…” he says slowly, carefully, like you’re a caged animal that’s just escaped the zoo.

“I’m going home,” you say, also a little too calmly. You saunter over towards his closet where your shattered phone screen glares up at you as you yank a pair of sweats off a hanger. Jungkook is still frozen on the edge of the bed, watching you with wide eyes as you move about the room.

It’s when you’re in the hallway leading downstairs that Jungkook finally snaps out of his daze, scampering behind you as you descend the stairs. “Baby,” he rushes out, loudly bounding down after you, “___, wait,” he gasps, catching you by the kitchen counter collecting your keys. “I-I didn't mean that,” he rushes out, eyes wide and frantic as they flicker over your expression. “I don’t think that—I don’t, baby, please, just… let me explain, please.”

“Jungkook, let go of me,” you respond, shaking your wrist in an attempt to release yourself. He’s not even holding you tightly— he never would—but the sound of your heart pounding in your ears makes your movements jerky and erratic. “I wanna go home.”

“No,” he chokes, cornering you against the counter. “No, baby, please just listen to me, I-I—“

“You what, Jungkook?” you snap, placing a hand on his chest and forcefully pushing him away. He lets you, stepping back with a wobbly bottom lip. “You need to tell me how you’re too good for me? How much I hold you down because I wasn’t lucky enough to get a job like yours straight out of college?” He says nothing, swallowing roughly as you jab a finger into his chest. “Well let me tell you something,” you snarl, chest heaving, “I may be childish and a huge complainer, but I’m not stupid enough to let someone walk all over me like this.”

With that, you make your great escape. Truthfully, you don’t want him to see the tears in your eyes as you yank his door open, stomping down his steps and in the direction of the nearest bus stop. The door opens right after you tug it shut, painting your shadow across the sidewalk. There’s the scrambled sound of house slippers against the concrete that follows you down. “Go the fuck back inside,” you snap without missing a beat.

Sensing your obvious anger, he pauses before he can reach you. “Text me when you get home?” he calls out quietly.

“No,” you respond.

You would never admit to anyone that you spend the entire night eating a tub of mint chocolate ice cream. It’s disgusting and makes you gag, but it’s the only one you have in your apartment. And of course, it was brought over by none other than Jeon Jungkook himself a few days ago. Even when you’re trying to comfort yourself over how mean he was, on your anniversary night no less, you’re plagued by thoughts of him everywhere.

As much as you want to brush his words off, put on that cool girl exterior you’ve maintained since high school, there’s something different about this situation. You guess it’s impossible to brush off such hateful words when they come from someone you love and adore so much.

Were you too childish? You had always believed that side of you was what made your relationship with Jungkook so perfect. The two of you meshed well because of your differences, like yin and yang. So how had he been able to so easily deconstruct every inch of that balance in a matter of a few seconds? Was this perfect reality all in your head this whole time?

You want to tell yourself it was just a heat of the moment outburst from Jungkook, give him the benefit of the doubt because he’s never snapped at you like this before. Of course you’ve fought a couple of times in the past year, but neither of you had ever stooped as low as you did yesterday. Furthermore, the insecure part of your brain says he obviously felt this somewhere in his heart to bring it up at all. What he had said to you wasn’t something someone could make up on the spot.

You don’t text him when you get home, partly to spite him, but mainly because you had left your phone at his place anyway. You know he tried calling you last night because the call log is synced up to your laptop. He called on and off for about thirty minutes before he probably found your phone in his room. Whatever, he can mope in his regret for all you care

—is what you wanna say, but the longer he goes without showing himself to you the more your insecurities and hurt fester. Was this it? Was this the end of what was probably the best year of your life? It’s too painful to think about, to even consider the possibility that Jungkook might have gained a new insight last night and decided, hey, maybe this is for the best after all.

You drown yourself in an ungodly amount of sugar for breakfast, your laptop blaring yet another episode of Phineas and Ferb on the dining table. Muscle memory has you making Jungkook’s favorite pancakes before you can stop yourself, and by the time you do realize, you’ve resigned yourself to the blueberry smell anyway.

There’s a pounding on your door a little past noon, so hard and rough, that you almost think it’s the police finally coming to catch you for all your years of illegally pirating Phineas and Ferb.

It’s not.

It’s just a really drunk boyfriend wailing for your forgiveness at the door. You open the door with a fright, jumping back when he slumps forward and almost crashes face-first into the floor. “You didn’t call,” Jungkook cries, leaning a little too much of his weight onto you when you reach out to steady him.

The thundering of your heart slows upon registering it’s him. “Kook?” you frown, nose pinched at the ungodly stench of alcohol wafting off his clothes. “Have you been drinking?” you ask even though the answer is staring you right in the face (and in the nose).

He groans, staggering deeper into your arms. You blindly push the door shut behind him, resigning yourself to this new situation while your pancakes grow cold in the other room. “Baaaby,” he slurs, letting you guide him into the living space. He’s unceremoniously dumped onto the couch, half-opened eyes gazing up at you. “Let me,” a hiccup, “explain.”

You won’t lie. There’s a very obvious sense of discomfort sitting in your chest, torn between two paths that you don’t wish to choose between. His skin is warm and flushed like he’s just walked all the way here in this morning sun. You step over to the window that faces down onto the street below. There’s no sign of his car; you would have killed him if he ever tried to drive in this state.

“Did you walk here?” you ask instead, deciding there’s no need for one singular path, not when you can walk straight down the middle, both cleaning him and grilling him at the same time.

Jungkook’s response is delayed, head lolling from side to side as you help him out of his sweater. His skin is sweaty beneath, scorching to the touch. “Uh-huh,” he groans. Jesus, you sort of assumed but him confirming it really set things into perspective.

By no means did you and Jungkook live on opposite ends of the earth. On a good day, a drive from your place to his took about ten minutes. But walking? Easily an hour. Had he walked all the way from his place, drunk on top of that?

You brush his hair away from his face, his eyes fluttering shut at your touch. His lips are pouty yet chapped, dehydrated from the sun and the alcohol he reeks of. “Sit up for me,” you instruct, scampering off to your room for chapstick and water.

“Anything for you,” Jungkook wheezes, throat probably dryer than a desert. When you return, he’s two seconds from face planting into the coffee table and breaking that pretty face of his. You catch him with a hand on his shoulder, keeping him balanced. “Tell me what to do,” he chokes out, voice hoarse.

“Just need you to drink some water,” you say, pressing a cup against his lips. He drinks it, but a drop still dribbles down his chin.

“No,” he groans, catching your wrist in his hand when you reach up to apply some chapstick on him. “Tell me what to do,” he stresses, “to fix this. Fix us.”

His words make you pause, the tube of chapstick hovering over his plush lips. “You don’t have to do anything,” you respond quietly, trying to finish the application so you can pull away.

Jungkook doesn’t let you go. You try to look away, but there’s something about him that looks off. Maybe it’s the raw skin under his eyes, red and swollen. Or the sad droop to those same eyes that hold you captive. Or maybe it’s the subtle tremble in his hands, the fingers that hold tightly to your wrist, not to keep you there but to ground himself. “I don’t wanna lose you,” he rasps out, shakily bringing your hand to his mouth, where he presses one airy kiss to your knuckles. “Tell me ho-how to fix this and I’ll do it,” he pleads, a vulnerable look in his eyes.

Unable to withstand the sheer amount of agony on his expression, you look away. “___, please,” he chokes out, stumbling off the couch in his drunk and desperate haze until he’s kneeling in front of you. “I can’t… I can’t,” he sniffles, tears clouding those pretty eyes you’ve come to love so much. “I don’t know who I am without you.”

You clench your jaw. “You’re Jeon Jungkook,” you murmur, slipping your hand out of his hold to run through his hair. It’s knotted and a little too greasy, two things Jungkook would usually never allow. “This year’s Platinum Mobile Standard of Excellence Award recipient,” you remind him, trailing your thumb across his cheekbone when he turns to look up at you with those big Bambi eyes. “Sweet and shy, but you love being rowdy with your friends. You love movies and TV and organizing your shirts according to fabric type. You work harder than anyone I know and never complain. You date me, even though I’m a huge child,” you smile sadly.

“No!” he jumps, turning that frantic stare back into you. “Y-You’re not— it’s not,” he stammers, words still slurring together. “I’m a liar,” he cries, resting his forehead on your knees. His shoulders shake. “I don’t deserve you,” he weeps quietly. You place a hand on his shoulder. “Y-Y-You make my life so much better, ___, so colorful and fun. I-I wish I knew you in high school,” he admits, “maybe I wouldn’t have been so emotionally constipated now.”

“You’re not,” you reassure him softly.

He disagrees. “You bring out the best,” he hiccups, “the best in me.” Your heart skips in your chest. “I-I love you, you know that?”

You sputter, eyes wide at his sudden confession. “I… love you so much, y’know? I think about you ev-every night, ___,” he rambles, eyes dreamily gazing off into some miscellaneous spot on the wall behind you. “I can’t get you out of my head. Like you're a song, o-on repeat but it’s not annoying because it’s my favorite song, and I could listen to it for the rest of my life, y’know? My favorite song, I know all the words b-because it’s all I think about! I love... My love… I love you so much.”

“Kook,” you rush out, cheeks flaming as you try to pull him away from where he’s slumped over your legs. His passionate speech has you abuzz, body tingling everywhere until you feel overwhelmed, head spinning like you’re on a rollercoaster. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He nods sleepily, seemingly coming down from whatever alcohol induced rampage has allowed him to walk for an hour straight in this searing heat just to confess to you. “Y-You don’t have to say it back,” he continues to stutter as you guide him through the living room on wobbly legs. “I just-I just— can I?” he babbles. “Can I love you, ___?”

You pass through the kitchen space, where whatever you were watching on Disney+ is blaring loudly. It distracts Jungkook for about two seconds before his attention returns to you. When you don’t answer, he presses on. “Is that okay?” he asks, whirling around to face you, catching your shoulders in his hands. He towers over you by the entrance to your bedroom, dark curls tickling your forehead. His eyes are dark and glazed over, both in tears and an emotion so raw and unfiltered it squeezes around your chest until you can’t breathe. “Is it okay for me to love you?” he murmurs softly, knocking his nose against yours.

Your cheeks blaze. “Yes, th-that’s fine, Kook,” you blubber, placing a hand over his chest, where his heart is also hammering away. “Just need you to go rest now, okay?”

He nods sleepily, nudging your nose with his one last time, like a soft almost-kiss, before letting you push him into the room. “Yes, yes,” he breathes, his body finally crashing from his adrenaline spike. He flops down onto the bed unceremoniously, dark waves fanning across your pillows. You try to wiggle him out of his shirt, but it only gets about halfway up his chest before he blindly reaches for the covers. His legs stick out awkwardly, clad in the sweatpants you’ve come to associate with him.

When he’s all swaddled up in your blanket he finally goes limp, tiny snores leaving his lips as he dozes away from reality. You sigh, pressing a palm to his forehead. He’s still warm and clammy, but at this point, there’s nothing you can do but wait for him to sober up.

With a final kiss to his forehead, you leave the room, closing the door behind you before sliding against the wooden surface. There’s a trapped bird in your chest, wildly flapping its wings in an effort to get out, and it’s all stupid Jungkook’s fault in the next room. Stupid Jungkook who demolished and remodeled your heart all in less than twenty-four hours. It doesn’t calm down, even when you rush off into the kitchen for a glass of water, or when you try to immerse yourself in some other show on Disney+. It stays beating against your ribs and your chest until you’re forcing yourself to sit down on the couch and process.

He wakes up a little before dinner. You hear him from the living room, where you’re flicking through the options on Disney+ for the nth time that day. You’ve seen the first fifteen minutes of about twenty different series and movies by now, always growing antsy and abandoning them early on. The only reason you know he’s awake is because the shower turns on for a few minutes, and then his bare feet are heard padding across the hallway back into your room.

By the time he resurfaces in the living room, you’ve resigned yourself to just more Phineas and Ferb, nonchalantly watching the silly cartoon. (Except you’re anything but nonchalant, and your heartbeat rings in your ears.)

Jungkook hovers by the door, clad in a pair of shorts he’s left here before, and a t-shirt you stole from him. “Hey,” he says quietly, lingering by the doorframe. You nod back in response. “Can I watch with you?” Again, another nod.

Slinking over to the couch, he’s rather careful as he sits down, leaving a few inches of space between the two of you. You don’t even think he can see the screen of your laptop until he murmurs, “he’s my favorite character,” when Perry the Platypus appears on the screen.

You hum. “Thought you didn’t like these kids shows?” you ask. You don’t mean it to sound as petty and backhanded as it comes out, but that’s really no one's fault but his own.

Jungkook’s breathing tightens beside you. “No,” he admits, “I don’t. Only watch them because I know you like them.” You contemplate pausing the episode and engaging in a real conversation with him, but at this point, you’re very tired from the events of the last day. Jungkook doesn’t press either, just shuffles more comfortably beside you.

You get about five minutes in, quiet chuckles shared between the two of you, before he strikes. “I’m sorry about yesterday,” he says, so hushed you almost don’t hear it. His hand is resting in the space between you, pinky brushing against yours. “About… being late. And the presents.”

You inspire slowly. “That wasn't even the problem, silly,” you brush off. From your peripheral, you see Jungkook’s slow nod. “I didn’t want any presents,” you mention, “I just wanted you.” You look away from the screen immediately after, pretending like the spot on the ceiling is actually really interesting.

The two of you fall into silence, the animated characters on your screen rapidly chattering away. “Oh,” Jungkook says after a moment.

You roll your eyes. They’re moist but you don’t want him to see. “Yeah, oh,” you parrot back softly, relaxing into the couch again. “Did you eat the food I left out?”

Jungkook shuffles beside you, the soft lull of the speakers soon being cut as he reaches over to pause Phineas and Ferb. A couple of seconds pass and then he’s leaning into you, head resting on your shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes again, placing a palm over the hand he had been teasing for the past few minutes. “I thought I knew what I was doing but I was wrong.”

His voice is so soft and sincere, it makes your chest ache. You try to burrow your face against your opposite shoulder, try to hide the stray tear that escapes out of the corner of your eye. “It’s fine,” you brush off, voice choked off and hoarse.

Jungkook leans up, pecks your cheek so tenderly it makes you go mushy. “No, it’s not fine. I acted like a know-it-all and said something way out of line,” he murmurs, raising his head to look at you. His hand feels warm over yours. It’s the touch you craved all day and yesterday, the warm feel of his body against yours. You’re embarrassed at how easily you melt into it. “You’re the best thing that has happened to me in a long time,” he tells you, holding your hand close to his chest. “I had no right to say those things to you.”

You sniffle, resting your head against his shoulder now. His heart beats loud enough for you to hear. “Was it true?” you mumble. “Do you really think of me like that?”

He shakes his head, his soft breaths fanning across your forehead. “No, never,” he answers. “I think you’re incredible. My brain was just trying to justify my dumb anger.”

You nod, even if you don’t believe it just yet. But that was a conversation for later, you suppose, sometime in the future when you aren’t on the verge of tears and threatening to crumble apart at the simplest word that leaves his mouth.

“I should have come home like you wanted, thought about my words before saying them,” he says, snuggling closer to you. “I’m sorry.”

“Stop,” you sniffle, covering your face with your free hand as he presses a kiss to the vein that runs over the back of the hand he’s holding captive. “Now it just sounds like I'm just being inconsiderate of your gifts and a crybaby.”

Jungkook kisses your temple softly, gently. “Don’t think about the gifts,” he says. “Just tell me what you wanted to do, doll.”

His voice calms you, has you like putty in his arms. “Watch movies,” you mumble, toying with a thread on your couch cushion. “Be with you.”

He hums. “Then we’ll do that,” he says, reaching for your laptop again. The screen nearly blinds you when it flickers back to life before you, Jungkook’s low breaths against your ear making it near impossible for you to process the titles on the screen. “You liked Disney+?”

Belatedly, you nod. “I like the animated movies,” you admit quietly, the anxieties of before slowly melting away, even more so when he slides his arm around you, pulling you close against his chest.

Unlike other times where he’ll critique the hell out of such childish films, Jungkook says nothing as he starts up the Zootopia movie instead, the same one you had wanted to show him before, right from the beginning. “That bunny looks like you,” you murmur when Judy Hopps first appears on the screen.

Jungkook snorts. “You say that about every cartoon bunny.”

You turn your head to glance at him over your shoulder. He meets your gaze with a small smile you return. “It’s because you’re so cute,” you say softly, lips twisting playfully when his cheeks grow scarlet.

He knocks his forehead against yours, eyes fluttering shut. “Not cute, just lucky,” he chuckles. “Lucky enough to have you.” Your heart turns over in your chest, threatening to burst out of your rib cage at his words. You try to turn in his arms. Before you can say the words that have been sitting on the tip of your tongue for months now, he’s beating you to it once again. “I love you,” he confesses in a hushed whisper, no alcoholic influence.

Something inside of you blossoms, eyes wide as he chastely kisses you. He pulls away without you ever reacting, too caught up in surprise to kiss him back properly. He stays close, curls tickling your forehead as he leans over you. “You don’t have to say it back, I just wanted you to know. I love you,” he says again, long lashes blinking down at you. “So much. It makes me feel like a stupid teenager again, going to the mall to buy a gift for my crush.” He laughs sheepishly, reaching down to tangle your fingers together. “Is that okay?” he asks quietly, pressing a kiss to your knuckles.

It mirrors the confession he’d given you that morning, those slurred words and teary eyes. It had been difficult to pinpoint the legitimacy of it before, the meaning scrambled by his hazy mind. But with him staring at you like this now, like you single-handedly plucked the stars from the sky to put them in those sparkly eyes of his, it makes something inside you ache.

Still, you choke on your own spit. “I-Is it okay for you to love me?” you sputter incredulously, realizing the oddity of the same question he’d thrown at you earlier. But now, you’re both sober and you can really tear apart that sentence. Jungkook nods a little too seriously for your liking. “Are you crazy?” He blinks in confusion, brows pulling together as you slowly but surely lose the last bits of your sanity. “You’re an idiot, Jeon Jungkook,” you huff, “a stupidly handsome, rich, walking dream, idiot who goes out with stupid girls like me.”

“Not stupid,” he murmurs, closing in on you again as he finally understands the truth behind your masked insults. He smells minty and like his favorite body wash of yours.

“No,” you deny. “You’re actually, like, insane. You have a bachelor pad, make enough money to sustain an entire litter of kittens, look and talk like every teenage girl’s dream boyfriend— but you mess it all up by dating evil, conniving hoes like me who lose their shit over Disney cartoons.” He says nothing, watching you with an amused grin as you talk over yourself, basically regurgitating his statement from yesterday except it kinda seems plausible now that you’re over it. “It’s stupid. No, you’re stupid. No— I’m stupid.”

Jungkook chuckles, kissing the corner of your mouth gently. “Done?” he says, a dimple appearing on his cheek. You could kiss it away, but you need him to know the amount of stupidity in this room was astronomically high. “You’re not stupid, baby,” he says. You level him with a look. “Well. You have your moments.”

“Moments?” you repeat, standing up in a hurry that has him flopping down beside you. Your laptop is lost somewhere on the cushions, the voices faded as they grow farther away. “I am so stupid. I called Namjoon a whore for taking you out for lunch!” you cry. “I am the stupidest person in the world.”

Jungkook cackles, standing up beside you. “Yes, yes, you’re my stupid girl,” he teases, tapping the pout on your lips playfully. “So stupid she slanders herself instead of just telling me she loves me too.” He bumps your noses together, dark eyes staring at you almost daringly after his claim.

You fold soon enough. “I love you,” you mumble, “even if I’m too stupid to say it.”

He rewards your confession with a kiss, pulling you into his arms soon after. He sighs, almost wistfully. “Whatever shall I do with my very stupid girl?”

After exactly three minutes of feeling safe and loved in his arms, he abandons the living room in favor of leading you back to your room, where he pushes you down against your mattress. You cling to him, leaving him positioned over you at an angle. His chest presses against yours, arm curled around the back of your head. “Gotta get up, baby,” he laughs.

You shake your head, caging him in your arms. “Nuh-uh,” you murmur, legs wiggling when he places a hand on your hip.

Jungkook chuckles, pressing a kiss against the side of your ear. “Your movie is still playing in the other room,” he reminds you, thumb drawing soothing circles on your hip. You don’t release him, his mindless touch only encouraging you to keep him close. “Babe?”

You say nothing, relishing in the comfort of Jungkook’s presence. His hair smells good and feels even softer against the side of your face. The cotton shirt he found is crumpled beneath your fists, dark blue pattern wrinkling. Finally coming to terms with his new home, Jungkook eventually relaxes into your hold with a sigh.

“Alright,” he hums, patting your hip as he repositions himself more comfortably. “I get it. My pretty girl must’ve missed me, huh?” You nod, soaking in every detail about him in this moment. Jungkook shifts, the hand on your hip suddenly falling over your thigh instead. “Or should I say my stupid girl?” he purrs, hand slipping between your thighs. “My stupid, little girl?”

A gasp catches in your throat when he runs his fingers over the front of your panties. Your legs kick out wildly at the sudden touch, toes curling at the hands you dreamt about all day and night. “Oh,” you pant, each brush of his fingers feeling better than the last.

“What?” he says, mouthing against the side of your neck. His tongue feels warm, but the trails of saliva he leaves have you shivering. “Too dumb to speak?” he scoffs, biting down against a particular spot on your neck. You whimper, unsure if it’s because of his hands or his mouth.

“N-No,” you try to sneer back, fingernails digging into his skin through his shirt. His hands are getting braver now, the pad of his pointer finger dancing over your engorged clit. The sheer material of your panties certainly doesn’t help, each touch feeling like it’s being magnified three times over. And if it felt this good with underwear, you can’t even begin to imagine how it’d feel without.

You don’t have to ponder for long, because soon after Jungkook is slipping his hand beneath your waistband, touching your sensitive pussy head-on. “Kook.”

He uses your momentary vulnerability to ease himself from your hold, finally recoiling enough to smother your mouth with his. You moan in surprise, thighs quivering as he gets to work circling your hardened bud sans your panties. Jungkook isn’t the least bit kind as he kisses you ruthlessly, likes he’s trying to compensate for something with his movements. When he finally pulls away it’s with an obnoxious pop and cherry red lips. He huffs, glancing down to see where he’s got his fingers pleasuring you.

Your thighs are squirming back and forth, closing around his hand every few seconds. Jungkook snorts. “Huh, look at that,” he mutters, trailing down until his fingers are gliding over your quickly sopping folds. “Stupid girl is good for something.”

Your cheeks burn. “Kook, I’m not—“

Jungkook levels you with an unimpressed glare. “Not what? Not stupid? But I could’ve sworn you just spent the last few minutes saying you were,” he drones meanly, landing one light slap against your cunt that makes your hips buck.

You bite down a whimper. “I was just…” you trail off, eyes rolling back when he teases one finger against your opening.

“Kidding?” he supplies. “Well, I wasn’t.” Your heart stutters in your chest, eyes growing wide as he finally pushes himself off of you, propping himself up with an elbow beside your head. His gaze is dark and unrecognizable. “I think you’re so fucking stupid, doll,” he sneers. “And what are you gonna do about it?”

You should have seen this moment coming, the manifestation of that shiny side of the coin finally reaching its full potential.

While Jungkook wasn’t exactly shy about his interests, he certainly wasn’t tripping over himself to tell you every new kinky thing he wanted to try. You sort of guessed he had some interest in this sort of play a few weeks ago when you watched the Barbie movie at his place. A lot of that night had branded itself into your three am wet dreams, but there was one particular moment that stood out to you. That was you, on your knees, with him condescendingly patting your head. Or just last week, you vaguely remember the term slipping through his lips as he pleasured you with The Bullet Bestie.

The thing about Jungkook was that, until last night, he would have never admitted, or so much as even thought, that he was better than you. That was fine because you would say it enough for the both of you anyway. Did you think Jungkook was amazing, an absolute diamond among these measly rocks? Absolutely. (Were you slightly biased because you were his girlfriend? Skip.) However, you also had this insane evil villain complex that made you want to brag about everything you possibly could, especially if that meant bragging about your boyfriend.

Realistically speaking, he was better than you, that much you could look past yesterday’s anger to admit, and not even in a stuck-up, conceited way; he had a really good job, an architecturally amazing house, and a hot girlfriend. Meanwhile, you had a mediocre job, an okay apartment, and an insanely sexy Calvin Klein boyfriend, half of which he had pointed out yesterday. Regardless of how powerful that third factor was, he still outnumbered you three to one.

Sue you, Jungkook was amazing. Anyone could see that! Except, maybe, himself.

And if the only time Jungkook would openly brag about his greatness or establish how much better than you he was, was in a post-fight, sex-induced setting, then you were more than happy to be his punching bag. So long as it was on your terms, and not as a result of his weirdly bottled up feelings.

(Yeah, you would have a long talk about that tomorrow.)

But for now, you pout up at him, clamping your thighs shut purposefully. “You’re stupid too,” you defend, “stupid and mean.”

Something in his expression changes. Suddenly, he’s moving at superhuman speed as he snatches his hand out from where you had previously trapped him between your legs, yanking you up by the front of your shirt. “Mean?” he mocks. “Isn’t that what you always wanted?” You shiver, fingers wrapping around the wrist that holds your sweater. “Wanted me to be mean and push you around like a little rag doll?”

Jungkook looks at you for another two seconds, before he’s slowly pulling away from you, leaning back on his knees. His tongue is pressing against the inside of his cheek, jaw tightening from the movement. “Baby,” he says so quietly it instills a prickle of fear in you, tainted with delicious excitement.

“Yeah?” you whisper, sitting up tentatively as you watch him, He was a bit frightening, like a wild animal about to devour you whole.

Jungkook rolls his neck, the joints in his spine cracking as he begins tugging off his shirt. You salivate at the sight, too focused on the sinewy muscles of his body to catch the dark gaze he levels your way. He throws it off to the side, his sleeve of tattoos that wraps around his bicep and begins to crawl down his chest wonderfully unobstructed now. “Eyes up here,” he says and you quickly meet his gaze. He leans forward, muscled arms coming to cage you against the headboard. “Stupid little sluts don’t have the room to make such comments,” he rasps out, unamused expression adorning his normally soft features. “Don’t you think so?”

“I-I don’t know,” you stammer, leaning away as he comes closer and closer, eventually just turning your head to the side to avoid that emotionless look. It’s the wrong move, and Jungkook lets you know as much by forcefully digging his fingers into your cheeks and turning your face back around to meet his gaze.

A hand grabs beneath your knee, tugging harshly until you’re flopping down onto your back with a squeal. You settle with his knee pressed hotly against your core. Jungkook stays towering over you. “Dumb little girls who make me watch cartoons,” he spits, tracing a hand over your chest, molding your breasts beneath his hands roughly enough to make you gasp. “And watch little animal movies on Disney+. Aren’t they just so stupid?”

“So stupid,” you concede, subtly shifting your hips for some desperately needed friction. Jungkook snorts, finally granting you your wish with one rough slide of his thigh against your core.

“I agree,” he says, and surprises you with a hand around your throat as he leans in to properly grind his thigh into you. “All they’re good for is being dumb little sluts with good pussy,” he murmurs darkly, thumb pressing into the side of your neck forcefully. “Sometimes, they don’t even do anything,” Jungkook continues, his other hand on your hip hauling you higher up his thigh. You mewl, soaked panties rubbing roughly against your folds. You miss the soft swirl of his thumb, the gentle prod of his fingers. Even so, you can’t deny this change in Jungkook is doing something to you, riling up a part of you that you hadn’t known existed. Maybe it’s the horniness from yesterday that was left unfulfilled, the one year anniversary sex that was put on pause. “Just lay there and take it, too fucked out and dumb to say anything.”

His fingers loosen for the briefest of seconds and you gasp for breath. “That’s terrible,” you whimper, rolling your hips up into his thigh, so close to his swollen cock.

Jungkook chuckles without an ounce of humor, pressing your foreheads together as he helps grind you to completion. “Isn’t it? I think that stupid little girl is cute though.”

“I’m sorry,” you blurt, vision spotting as he tightens his hand back around your throat. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you moan, stomach tight from all the stimulation.

Jungkook hums, slowing you down with a tight grip on your waist. “Hm, what are you sorry for?” he croons, pink lips pulling into an evil smile. “You said you weren’t that stupid girl, __.”

You shake your head, trying to roll your hips up again but he’s holding you too tightly now, rendering you immobile beneath him. “I am,” you choke out shamefully, grabbing at the hand on your hip in a feeble attempt to remove it. “I am a stupid little girl.”

Jungkook smirks, leaning down to slot his mouth over yours. “That’s right,” he murmurs, “nothing but a dumb little slut.”

You shiver, opening your mouth when he slides his tongue against your bottom lip. He’s not the slightest bit nice, and more messy than usual. He pulls away with a bite to your lower lip, meeting your trembling gaze with that same unrecognizable glint in his eyes. “Come on, dummy, keep up,” he snarks before devouring you again. You try to, you really do, but he’s moving like an animal today, despite his slow and drunken movements from that morning. So you end up with his saliva dripping down your throat, clinging to the corners of your lips as he begins slowly grinding you against his thigh again. He flashes you a wicked smile, pearly teeth on display for you as he glances down at your messy appearance.

“Are you gonna touch me?” you ask, lower lip trembling at the thought after your desperate rutting. Jungkook purses his lips together in thought.

“Mmm,” he hums. “Don’t know yet.”

You whine. “Jungkook, please,” you whimper, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I need you.”

Jungkook chuckles, running his hand up your waist and taking your shirt with him. He slips his fingers beneath your bra, pushing the wire over your chest as he mouths at your neck. “Cute,” he says. “Can’t do it yourself?”

You tremble, chest arching into him as he rolls your nipple between his fingers. “I-I can,” you gasp. “Just feels better with you.”

Jungkook follows your statement with a nip against your skin, tongue soothing over it right after. “Why? Because I do everything better than you? Even make you cum better than you?”

Your cheeks heat up at his blatant ego rearing its head, hands carding through the hair at the nape of his neck. You say nothing, and that only eggs Jungkook on. “Come onnn,” he teases, finally, finally rolling his hips down onto your core. You squeak, head falling back against the pillows as you’re granted the one thing you’d been chasing. “Say it.”

“Say what?” you ask, voice wobbly as he continues to slowly rut against you, the front of his shorts pressing against the soaked crotch area of your panties. “Oh, oh, Jungkook,” you whine.

Suddenly he bites down harshly, teeth digging painfully into your skin. You yelp in surprise, pussy throbbing at the pain that shoots throughout your body. Jungkook pulls away and doesn’t bother soothing over it as he leans up to capture your jaw this time. “Say you’re a stupid little slut who can’t do anything without me,” he purrs, kisses too soft for the words he says.

Your mind blanks, torn between the humiliating phrase he wants you to say and properly checking him in his place. In the end, it’s with a twisted need to please him that you’re repeating the words back to him. “I-I’m a stupid slut,” you whimper, fingers digging into his shoulder blades as he continues pushing you right along the edge. The rope pulled tightly in your core is slowly being pulled apart, threads hanging on for dear life. “Can’t... can't do anything without...”

“Without who?” he asks, reaching down and untying the front of his shorts. “Can’t do anything without who, baby?”

“Without you, without you,” you cry, bucking your hips up against his, the combined movements of both your bodies making you shake like a leaf. “Ah, K-Kook,” you wail, hips stuttering as your orgasm finally swallows you up. Your panties quickly grow wet and icky from your own arousal that pools between your thighs. Jungkook lets you writhe beneath him as you chase your high, mouth sucking a pretty blossom against your jaw.

You know better than to expect the night to end here, especially after seeing the glint that had been in his eyes as he watched you unravel.

He leans close, let’s his nose brush against yours as you catch your breath. “So perfect for me,” he groans, slotting his lips against yours. You can barely keep up with him, languidly going along with his hot tongue. “Perfect, perfect girl,” he murmurs, a stark change from the less than friendly adjectives he used just moments before. “Tell me you love me?” he says softly.

You nod, mind fuzzy as you wrap your arms around his neck. “Love you,” you exhale, letting your fingers knot in his hair. Your proclamation does something to him, makes him grind the front of his cotton shorts hard against you. For someone that was often rough and brutal with you in bed, he sure was sensitive to the mushiest of things.

“Don’t deserve you,” he huffs, hot breath fanning across your skin. He switches gears fairly quickly. “Tell me you hate me,” he begs hoarsely, rutting against your soiled panties. “Tell me I’m a piece of shit and you could do better without me,” he pleads, voice too airy to be another one of his usual sex-induced thoughts.

You shake your head, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he rolls his hips. “It’s not true,” you whisper, “I love you more than you’ll ever understand.”

Jungkook groans, suddenly winding back and tearing your ruined panties down your legs. You gasp in surprise, letting him haul you about in his blind, self-inflicted rage. “Stupid, stupid,” he huffs, though at this point you can’t tell who it’s directed at. With your underwear out of the way, he wastes no time plunging his fingers back into your cunt, bypassing the tight ring of muscle around it without any of his usual care. “You should hate me,” he snarls, lips pressed against your ear.

You moan, back arching at the sudden pleasure that blossoms between your thighs. “I-I don’t,” you gasp, toes curling.

Jungkook groans, the sound traveling down your spine and straight into your pussy. “Stupid girl,” he huffs, slipping an arm around you to pull you so close until you can’t breathe, chests lined up together. His skin is warm to the touch, scorching almost. “Fuck,” he groans, curling his fingers inside of you. You whimper and moan, incapable of staying still beneath him as he tortures you with a thumb to your clit. “Tell me you hate me,” he seethes again.

Despite the fog that’s settled over your mind, you still manage a resolute shake of your head. “N-no,” you cry, digging your nails into his back. They run dark red lines over his skin, making him hiss at the sting.

Whatever punishment he’s trying to put himself through is falling through with your refusal to admit such a thing. It aggravates him even more, your adamant stance on loving him so, and he’s retracting his fingers before you can cum again. “Please,” he chokes, face tucked into your neck. He’s sloppy with his movements; as he pulls his shorts down and kicks them away, he nearly suffocates you with his weight. “I don’t deserve you, ___, please.”

“I love you,” you whimper for lack of explanation. Jungkook leans back, that same madman gaze in his glossy eyes. He’s looking at you in disbelief almost, pouty lips puckered and swollen. Your hands slip from around him, falling on either side of your head.

Like a cobra he strikes, collecting your wrists in one hand he pins above your head. The sudden movement has him leaning in close, lips brushing over yours. His lashes are coated in a wetness he refuses to acknowledge, looking at you like you drive him insane. “If you ever try to leave me,” he whispers, jerky breath fanning over your skin, “I’ll lose my mind.”

He loves you so much it aches.

“I won’t,” you whimper, feeling your own eyes well up with an emotion that consumes every inch of your being. “I’ll never leave you, you stupid, stupid boy.”

A faint smile crosses his features at your words, lips quirking to the side. You relish in it for all of two seconds before he’s ramming his cock into you, your sensitive walls spawning around him. You sob loudly, eyes rolling back into your head. Your legs instinctively hook themselves around his waist, digging into the base of his spine as he rolls his hips into you.

You feel full and complete like he belongs there in this moment and every moment after this. It makes your heart constrict painfully. Jungkook’s soft groans follow your more unraveled noises, the vulgar slapping of skin on skin the underlying melody to it all. “Ffffuck,” he spits, greedily swallowing your moans up. You whine, arms bucking in an effort to hold him close. But he’s determined in his act of restraining you, long fingers tightening around your wrists until they hurt. “I warned you, didn’t I?” he huffs, snapping his hips into you.

Your walls clench around his hard cock, the drag as he exits sending shivers throughout your body. Jungkook’s body towers over you, glistening in sweat as he nails you into your mattress. “Remember what I said?” he asks, voice but a shuddery exhale. You shake your head numbly, overwhelmed by the rough drag across your walls. “All those months ago, when you first came over,” he adds. The hand on your hip abandons its post to cup you beneath the jaw, palm pressing sinfully against your throat enough to block the tiniest of airflow. “I’ll fuck you and keep you forever,” he murmurs, voice deeper than the pits of hell. He licks a fat stripe over your cheek like you’re nothing but a sweet for him to devour. “Do you remember that, pretty girl?”

You nod jerkily, hips arching up into him when he thrusts into you again. It’s a memory that replays in your mind every so often, your first night with the man you had planned to humiliate over a mere misunderstanding, now your boyfriend of one year. “Want that,” you gasp, tears blurring your vision when he begins picking up the pace. “Wanna be y-your pretty girl forever.”

Jungkook groans, kissing the corner of your mouth. His thighs are some magnificent beings, keeping his pace consistent even as he loses himself in his overwhelming need to kiss you. “Always,” he manages, soft lips pressed against yours. “I won’t ever let you leave.”

A shriek tears itself from your lips as he picks up that harsh piston, releasing your jaw to hold both wrists above your head. It makes his curls dangle in front of his eyes, covering that beautiful dark gaze. It makes his thin little necklace swing back and forth too, though it’s too small to actually touch your face. The rhythmic swing has you hypnotized, just like everything else about Jungkook.

With the length of his hair, you’re left staring at his lips, pulled taut between his pearly white teeth. The word from before sits heavy in your chest, begs to drip from the tip of your tongue. But he’s moving too fast and too hard, scrambling your thoughts until all you can think about is the cock plunging into your heat. His name falls from your mouth like mindless blubber instead, arms thrashing as your second orgasm swallows you up. It sends you crashing, body spasming as the sheer euphoria waves over you slowly and then all at once.

“Perfect,” he grunts, leaning down to slot his mouth against yours, “my perfect girl.” Your cum makes the sound of his hips erotic, the loud squelching following your panting. Still sensitive from your high, your body unconsciously tightens around him, keeps his cock from fully leaving. It brings a soft whine out of Jungkook, one he tries to muffle against the side of your face.

“Inside,” you whimper, even though your body feels like jelly beneath him. “Cum inside, Kook, please,” you beg.

It only takes a few more thrusts into your leaking hole for him to finally reach paradise, hips stuttering when that first shot of pleasure hits him. “Fuck, fuck,” he growls, wildly snapping his hips into your achy cunt. You moan, feeling just about brainless at the overstimulation. His cum leaves you full, almost makes your belly bulge from it. When he’s done he doesn’t bother pulling away, simply slumping into your limp form. His cock, though quickly softening, serves as a plug for the cum threatening to spill out of you.

There’s a muted noise coming from the other room, the faint sound of the mail slipping through your letterbox, the quiet chattering of the street outside. And of course, the loud blaring of your laptop playing the Phineas and Ferb theme song. Jungkook registers it at about the same time as you, a soft chuckle leaving his lips.

He pushes off of you soon after, leaning on his palms over you. He’s got that molten look on his eyes, the heat of a thousand suns burning behind those irises as he looks at you. Like he can’t get enough, even though he’s just about taken everything there is to take. “Love you,” he murmurs quietly.

A drop of sweat rolls over his forehead, clinging to the end of his eyebrow. You reach up and brush it away, let your hand trail down his face to cup his cheek. Immediately he leans into the touch, eyes falling half shut. “Love you more,” you respond.

“Impossible,” he scoffs.

Soon after you’re both stumbling out of bed, clothes haphazardly shrugged back on as you drift through the living room. There’s a thin, hot pink package sitting at the door, just having slipped through the letterbox; the stark Sexuality Unleashed logo is printed on the visible side, so you have to wonder what Doyeon could have possibly ordered this time that could be so thin. The laptop is awkwardly sandwiched next to a throw pillow, barely open a crack. Jungkook retrieves it, sets it on his lap as you scamper over to the couch.

“More Phineas and Ferb?” he asks quietly. He hates it, you know he does. And still, he wants to watch it with you.

You nod. “Please.”

He isn’t so concerned with the plot as you, clicking some random episode to start. You snuggle into his side, quietly singing along to the opening. After a moment, Jungkook speaks again. “Phineas and Flirt?” he offers cheekily.

You roll your eyes. “That might’ve been your worst one yet,” you sigh, trying to drown out his indignant huff by focusing on the screen.

“I don’t exactly see you coming up with these,” he points out, obviously feeling wronged.

Without missing a beat you say, “Disney+ and bust.”

epilogue

commercial break one ; the resolution

#goldenclosetnet #networkbangtan #bangtanhq #ksmutclub #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook smut #jeon jeongguk smut #jjk smut #jeongguk smut #bts smut #jjk♡#jeon jungkook #mine

4K notes · View notes

technowoah · 3 years ago

Text

Cant Handle This

Quackity's facade keeps breaking, and he tries to keep the pieces together. You're the only one who can make him show his true self

- Quackity x gen neutral reader

- this is a long one yall.

Now playing...

Can't Handle This (Kanye Rant)

Bo Burnham

0:01 ─●──────── 3:29

⚠︎ swearing, angst, mentions of mcyttwt, based on the song above, and ofc its not proofread

Part of my Inside Special!

Quackity sat in his chair currently streaming right now, he seemed like he was having a good time from your spot on his bed. You were currently laying on his bed after he invited you here to relax.

You two had laid in his bed just enjoying eachothers company until he got a call from Tommy saying he was ready for the lore stream which sent Alex into a frenzy. Alex sent out a quick "Im sorry" about the lateness of his stream and then quickly set everything up.

He then started to stream which left you alone on the the bed to your own devices. You were scrolling through Twitter looking at Alex's fans talk about what's happening on the stream and posting screenshots of his character and himself.

You admired him from afar as he ended the lore part of his stream, he took time to type on his phone to text you that he decided to stream longer to talk to his fans. He looked to you and you have him a nod with a smile and he gave one back.

"Hey guys! That's the end of the lore!" He exclaimed to his chat as he types at his computer setting a new background.

You continued to listen to him praise his chat for supporting him and making him be able to make those types of streams. You were always proud of Alex no matter what he did, you were always his number one supporter no matter what happened in reality or on the internet.

"So anyways! I wanted to talk to you guys! How are you all?" He smiled at his camera looking back and forth from his chat.

◇T0mm71nn1t: THE STREAM WAS SO GOOD QUACKITY

"Oh thank you! Im glad I could share this with you. It takes so much to put into these movite type streams, so I know now it is all worth it."

Quackity's pov. . .

He felt so overwhelmed, he shouldn't have began to stream again. The stress of putting everything together, plus being late to the stream made him rush into it more. He just wanted to lay back down with his lover who was enjoying watching him stream, and that's the goal he wants. His goal was to entertain, it was his job and he doesn't want to fail, he doesn't want to crack.

◇Mayatooni3: WE LOVE YOU QUACKITY

◇catiiequak: QUACKITY ITS MY BIRTHDAY CAN I GET A HAPPY BIRTHDAY??

◇yriaaolic: 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

"Happy Birthday!" He said seeing the comment pass in a second. "Happy Birthday to anyone who's Birthday it is today."

Right now it was hard. It was hard to keep up when there was always a constant demand, the constant need to be perfect, his past being brought up, and trying to one-up his content everytime. He loved this, but at the same time it had the same weight as a job.

In the back of his mind he knew the "When is Quackity streaming???" is mostly lighthearted, he never wants to leave.

"Quack are you okay? Im fine! Just thinking about how to get something to eat at 2am." He laughed lying to his fans, he wanted to stop this stream.

He kept looking over to his lover lying their head on his pillow scrolling through their phone and alternating their vision from him and their phone. He always caught a glimpse of their small smile everytime he looked. He was doing something right.

"Do yall think Taco Bell is open? The only problem I have is that Im fucking starving."

He paused for a moment taking a deep breath trying to keep his emotions down. The stress was getting to him, and he fucking knew it, but he didnt stop. He was going to get burnt out eventually and stop streaming and YouTube all together, but he needed this. He needed a break, he needed to take time for himself and stop putting on a happy face when he isnt.

TTS ◇pulixsaxe: "Did you see what was happening on Twitter quackity?"

"Wait what's happening on Twitter?" He asked with a weary laugh.

I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are

Pringle cans, and burritos

The truth is, my biggest problem's you,

Your eyes widened as he mentioned Twitter. Truth be told he was trending because of his stream, yes, but also they brung up stuff from his past again in the wake of another content creator's past or present being brought up. You hadn't paid attention to that, you were only getting fueled up from Twitter bringing up an issue that he already had addressed.

Tempted to speak and tell him its fine, he already spoke up before you.

"I bet it's fine! I dont wanna... I don't need to look." He said with a smile. He always had that smile on.

Either it was a full smile or a half smile. It never left his face and it comforted you somehow. Maybe it was that you were his significant other, but you always wondered if anyone saw the same things as you. The things like his smile that never left his face.

"Yeah! I dont need to look at that." He waved his hand dismissing the comment away. He then sighed letting his shoulders relax as you saw his smile fade and his eyes close for a second and immediately put that small smile back on his face while his eyes were glossy, but bright.

He needed to end this stream soon. You saw his face fall then in a split second come back to life except his eyes were glossy with tears. You wondered if anyone else noticed.

"I want to please you

But I want to stay true to myself

I want to give you the night out that you deserve"

His eyes tearful as he tried to blink them away trying to not make a scene.

"Sorry! Allergies ugh!" He said as he wiped his tears away claiming them as allergies.

"Are you crying? No! Im not a pussy!" He yelled at his chat in a joking manner.

He was crying and he felt weak. He felt emotionally weak, and weak as in not strong, he didn't feel strong and his lover who was sitting on his bed with a concerned look on their face always told him that it's okay to feel weak. The only meaningful thing is how you pick yourself up, they always told him, bur now he felt at rock bottom.

He wanted to give his fans "himself", the goofy, lovable, loud, quick-witted, Quackity. But then again his lover always told him to separate Quackity from Alex. He wanted to give himself to his audience, he wanted to be authentic and share himself, but he cant. Alex isn't all laughs, he is serious, calmer, and when he gets on the screen is when he lets it all out then goes back to his more calmer self. That's not what they want.

"But I want to say what I think

And not care what you think about it"

Giving himself meant dialing back, he wants to tell how hes actually feeling, he wants to say what he thinks about Twitter, what he thinks about certain friends, about his fanbase, and then leave it alone. He wanted to delete social media and then speak his mind without knowing what anyone is saying about it. It was paradise to him, but of course it cant be that way and that's what he hates. He feels like a actor when he really wants to be himself.

"A part of me loves you,"

Alex loved his fanbase, he had such a supportive fanbase that loved his content. Some of them did atleast he didn't fully know, but they gave him the courage to do this time and time again knowing that his content is at least taking them from the harsh reality of real life for a few minutes or hours. This was the reason he did this, for them.

Alex would never admit this but they boosted his ego too, it would for anyone. The fact that there were people who wanted and enjoyed content from him made him feel good about himself.

"part of me hates you"

He hated the contant criticisms, he hates that they feed his ego so much that it makes him want to stream more to feel good about himself and to make people get away for awhile. Alex knew inside of his heart he couldn't truly hate his fanbase, they gave him everything he ever wanted. He hates them for that and that's such a scary thing. He never fails to wonder if he did the things to deserve all the love and hate he gets.

"Part of me needs you,"

They feed his ego, they make him want to go above and beyond. Alex knows that his fanbase is the reason he is here in this chair infront of three expensive monitors. He knows that this is some sort of a job that he needed. He needed the push to keep going and that was them, it was the 200k people watching his stream watching him answer questions about him and

"part of me fears you"

He was fearful of loosing himself to them. Loosing his authenticity to them was something he feared. He didnt want his funny, loud persona to consume him and make him forget about Alex instead of Quackity. He fears what they think as well, he claims he doesnt care, but he does he wants to please them. It feels like two parts of his brain fighting about if he should care or not.

"And I don't think that I can handle this right now"

The text-to-speech bot continued to speak out people's comments that theu paid for while he sat there quietly. He bit his bottom lip trying to not break down infront of everyone he needed to be strong. He needed to be strong.

If he looked up at the camera everyone would see his tears, they would see him breaking.

He played it off as he brough his shirt up to wipe the tears away, claiming it as sweat.

"Im good! Im sorry I spaced out for a second." He shook his head.

He saw you look at him with that same concerned look on your face. As he switched his gaze between you and his computer, he felt his tears come back again.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"Alex." You tried to get his attention.

"Yeah guys Im fine!"

"Alex"

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

"I have plans later for another lore stream, so Ill start doing that later tonight."

"ALEX!" You yelled and his head turned around to face you.

"What?" He laughed, biting his lip again.

You couldn't stop him doing this, you could try to course him into going to bed, but right now you couldn't find the words. You just stared at him while he looked at you with a somber smile trying to tell you that he was okay.

He felt his mind telling himself that he need to rest. He wouldnt allow himself to and thats why he was breaking down.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

Alex was blinking rapidly trying to keep his breathing and tears at bay while he answered his fans.

"My allergies are fine! And I drank water today."

◇moonchild21: WE LOVE YOU

◇sopusand: Why do you look like that?

◇wuackityoo: are you crying??

"Crying is for the weak! I am a strong manly man! Im crying cause I noticed how alpha I am!" He tried to play it off as a "Im a man" joke but you could see right through it.

"I don't think that I can handle this right-"

You had sent a quick text to Alex which told him to end the stream for his own mental health, but he left the message unread. He began sniffing and the wiping his eyes again. It was a wreck and you couldn't seem to stop it without literally dragging him out of his chair.

Meanwhile the screens were getting to Alex. Alex's eyes were getting tired of the bright screens and the rapid messages that popped up on the screen overwhelmed him for what it seemed like the first time ever in his strraming career. He wanted to give them the fun night they deserved and wanted, but he knows it's getting hard to. He dosent know how long he can keep this up.

As Alex kept joking around about his eyes and physical state the chat was filled with "LMAO" and "HAHAHA" which fuled him more and then at the same time makes him want to stop.

Look at them, they're just staring at me, like

"Come and watch the skinny kid with a

Steadily declining mental health, and laugh as he attempts

To give you what he cannot give himself"

He cannot give himself the luxury of happiness. As he went on with his career it became more and more like a chore, there was mostly down days and of course there were up days, but recently Alex gave his fans the happiness and laughes they wanted while when he turned off the camera he couldn't replicate that same energy as he had before.

It messed him up, he felt himself become separated from his streaming. He wasn't being himself anymore he was being Quackity and that became more apparent as the days passed. He wanted to be himself on camera and at first thats what he thought he was doing. He was himself then it turned into a persona.

Alex wasn't okay and he he needed to take a break from the internet for a while, but he tries to act like he dosent have a dilemma going on inside of his head everytime he sits in this seat. Its for the fans.

"Think that I can handle this right-

I don't think that I can handle this right-

They don't even know the half of this right-

They don't even know the half of it"

"Alex you need to end the stream. Please?"

He looked towards you again where you moved your position from the middle of the bed to sitting up on the end of the bed.

"Ive told you millions of times." He paused for a moment looking down at his lap before looking back up to you. "Im-Im okay." He nodded trying to convince you.

"But I know I'm not a doctor, I'm a pussy, I put on a silly show

I should probably just shut up and do my job, so here I go"

"Cant you belive them!" He laughed to his camera. You scoffed at his comment but still kept an eye on him as he talked.

You didnt need to baby him at all, but right now you were worried about your lover.

Alex continued talking and talking, which you drowned out. You were focused on his face and how he faltered time to time just showing a small frown.

He laughed and showed them a good time even though he was hurting. He kept going and going and you were convinced he was going to hold out until you heard him sniff multiple times while trying to make a joke about the new Minecraft update and how the glow squid has no use.

"Stupid ass squid! Why- why? Its no use expect for glowing ink. Who voted for that!?"

You can tell them anything if you just make it funny, make it rhyme

And if they still don't understand you, then you run it one more time

"Dumbass squid!" He pulled up a picture if the squid as he yelled at it.

You began to worry even more as you saw tears running down his face. He quickly tried to wipe them away, but he knew everyone saw.

Handle this right

You don't even know the half of this right now

Right now (Haa!)

Now

Handle this right

I'll handle this right, I handle this right now

Alex leaned back in his seat and had a blank stare towards the monitor. Looked down for a second and then you heard sobbing coming from his spot. Alex had his head in his hands and was crying harshly into them.

He had finally broken, he couldn't stop the tears from coming and the loud sobs that came from his mouth. He was trying to desperately breathe in to be able to sob, but ended up hiccuping while doing so.

Your eyes widened as you rushed to him resting your hand on his knees and you kneeling infront of him.

"I cant do fu-fucking anything!" He yelled into his hands.

"Hey! I know. Its okay." You tried to console him.

"Its not I try so hard! And I-"

You cut him off. "You are a hard worker Alex and you deserve a week or two off. Take care of you self babe." You stood up bringing his hand with you and trying to make him stand up. He followed your movements and stood up with you putting his head on your shoulder crying into it.

"I just ca-cant right now!"

"You dont have to do anything right now babe."

"Im sorry!" Alex sobbed.

"Dont be." You said bluntly trying to get your lover to calm down.

You rubbed his back soothingly as he sniffled into your shoulder. "Im sorry for ruining your shirt." He tried to laugh through his tears.

"Dont be sorry! Please. You just need rest okay?" You kissed his forehead and he nodded in response.

Alex raised his head up an started to pepper kisses all over your face as you laughed. He gave you one last peck on the lips as he walked away to quickly change into night clothes. You smiled as he laid underneath the covers and continued to softly cry into his sheets. At least he was in bed and not makijg himself even worse.

He couldn't stop the tears from flowing, it was like a flood that could only be stopped with time. He felt like a boulder was lifted off his shoulders only to be replaced with smaller rocks. The smaller rocks was the guilt he held. He felt guilty of making his lover worry about him, he didnt want you to worry.

You rushed over to his desk and turned off the stream and his computers not even bothering to give them a goodnight or goodbye. After the computer lights were turned off it was quite dark in the room except for small light.

Finally you were where you wanted to be all day, in bed with Alex. But this wasnt the predicament you wanted.

"Forgive me. I just cant do shit right can I?" His eyes were still full of tears and he was getting tired.

"Alex dont listen to anyone but yourself." You tried to console him.

"That's what I'm telling myself."

Silence filled the room as you looked at him through tearful eyes of your own.

"Alex, you're so amazing and I cant even tell you how much I appreciate you, and how much you change my life. You do so much shit right its scary sometimes. Some days I think you're perfect, but there's-"

"There's no such thing as perfect." Alex finished your sentence.

"Exactly! Even the best people have their downfalls, they just dont show it. And Alex I know you struggle with that! All I can say is that I love you for you." You finished.

"Can I talk to you about my dilemmas?" He tried to laugh again.

"Tomorrow we can talk. We both need the rest." You said to him as he closed his eyes and nodded in response. He gave you a kiss on you lips before laying back down to sleep.

"Thank you."

"Thank you

Good night

I hope you're happy"

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animefanwrites · 3 years ago

Text

brother’s best friend [F] | pt. 3

b. chan x reader | brother’s best friend au

synopsis: “what happens when your brother invites over his (hot) best friend but forgets to even inform you about it? And what happens when you walk out of your bedroom and see him in your house with no sign of your brother in sight?”

word count: 1.9k

genre: brothers best friend au, teen rom-com

warning: fluff, language, tiny bit of angst

a/n: sorry i took so long for chapter 3! things have been quite hard for me this whole time. i hope you like it!

chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 +

status: on-going series

The night was quiet and almost no cars passed by while you looked outside. Seeing your reflection on the window, you carefully moved your gaze towards Chan, trying not to be so obvious. He was smiling slightly, hands holding the wheel. You smiled softly and turned to look at him.

“So, what’s this studio?” you questioned with a raised brow. Chan chuckled slightly but before he could answer you added “You said I can’t know where it is not what it is.”

“You got me there,” he replied while pushing some of his hair back. “Well, it’s a music studio. I don’t know if you’ll be interested,” Chan sounded quite hesitant as if you’d make fun of him for creating music. Instead, he was met with an enthusiastic gasp.

“You’re a musician?” you asked, eyes sparkling and lips formed into a beautiful smile. Chan was slightly shocked — he wasn’t exactly waiting for that reaction. He smiled and nodded his head, chuckling in the process while becoming embarrassed. “Jisung never told me anything! Will you show me what you have made?”

“S- Sure!” Chan internally cursed himself for stuttering. “Though, I don’t think you’ll like it. We’re not making anything big, it’s just silly lyrics with beats we make...” he added, wanting to warn you in case you had imagined anything big.

“If they’re original then I’m sure I’ll like it,” you assured him making a blush spread across his cheeks. He laughed and you could feel your heart flutter. Spending time with Chan was something that felt unrealistic but a dream coming to life at the same time. You didn’t even know the man for that long and you just wished you could sit down and talk about him for hours.

The car soon stopped outside a building and you quickly walked out slightly hopping from excitement. Chan walked beside you and opened the front door of the building for you, letting you walk in first with a “ladies first”. You thanked him and slowly followed behind him as you both skipped to the so-called studio.

He quickly opened the door with a key that he had in his pocket and walked inside, your eyes glowing with happiness as you looked around at all the different microphones, computers and speakers. It looked like they had paid a lot to get all that expensive stuff “just for silly lyrics” as Chan had mentioned earlier. Maybe he was just embarrassed to say what they were making.

“Well- here it is!” he chuckled and finally broke the silence that was haunting you two for quite a while now. “I can give you some headphones so you can listen, but um- again, I don’t think you’ll like this kind of music,” he muttered slightly and pulled some headphones from inside a drawer.

“Oh, come on, I’m sure I’ll like it if it’s from you!” you pressed and sat down in a chair, sighing at how comfortable it was. While doing the work, Chan was leaning over your shoulder, his head inches away from your neck and his arm extending from behind you to grip on the mouse. You gulped at how close he was — you could smell his cologne and see his pretty eyes from up close.

“This should do!” he smiled and looked at you, eyes staring right into yours. You nodded and immediately looked away to hide your blushing face. Without another word, he slid the headphones on your head and pressed ‘play’, seeing your lips turn into a big grin as you heard the music start. At first, he was hesitant, gripping the side of the desk without really wanting to, out of nervousness. Then, he saw you bob your head and smile up at him with a huge smile.

“It’s so good!” you exclaimed a bit too loud since you couldn’t hear yourself. He gave you a thumbs up and showed you a few more songs where the lyrics made you laugh and others that made you quite upset and almost even teared up. “It was... so amazing!”

“You think so?” he questioned while sitting on the chair, opening a program that you didn’t quite understand how it worked. “Maybe you can sit here too and help me choose beats?” Chan looked up at you with a hopeful smile when you were about to sit on the couch behind him.

Looking around, you didn’t see any other seat that could be moved next to him though. You were about to ask him about it, but he patted his lap which made you burn red right away, eyes going wide and cheeks getting a scarlet shade.

“CHAN!”

“I’m so sorry! I’m just kidding!” he laughed and covered his face in embarrassment. You could hear his heartwarming laugh as he tried sinking in the chair and hide his face. When you both calmed down from lauging, he pulled a stool from under the desk and placed it close to him so you could join in on the fun.

The whole time, you couldn’t easily focus on what Chan was asking you even if he explained it beforehand. You just nodded and randomly picked something that you liked. You were too distracted by the handsome man to pay attention to music right now.

The way he happily talked about how music helped him through his darkest times, how he relaxes while making it and pours his emotions into the lyrics. It made you even more interested in him — if possible. He looked at you and smiled shyly before speaking; " you know, we don't know each other for more than 24 hours but- I feel so relaxed around you, just like when I'm writing."

Once again, you were surprised by his words and were left with a mouth wide open. You sweetly smiled back at him and nodded while looking to the ground out of embarrassment. Finally getting the courage to look up at him, you gently placed your hand on his.

"I feel quite the same way," you replied and watched him blush a bright pink shade before chuckling and scratching the back of his head. You both knew it was quite early to say that you liked each other. But it felt so mutual.

You just knew that you were both thinking the same things, possibly having the same thoughts about the future and whatnot. You were looking at each other by now, his eyes hypnotizing your e/c ones and his hand slightly trembling at the thought of bringing you close to him. Just as he was about to lean in, a loud sound from outside made you both sit straight and come back to reality. You chuckled nervously and kind of awkwardly at the whole situation — you knew what was about to happen and it was rudely interrupted.

Maybe it was a sign that it was too early.

When you looked at the clock you gasped and so did Chan. You had spent two whole hours in there. Maybe they're right, time passes quickly when you're having fun. He stood up and held his hand out for you to hold onto, but even when you were standing, he didn't let go. Your firm palm fitting perfectly into his.

"It's a pretty night outside and... personally I don't feel like returning back yet. What do you say? Drive and go see the stars?" he asked with confidence that made you want to say yes right away. You held back though and pretended to think for a moment — which made him nervous in no time — but let out a soft laugh, in the end, agreeing with him.

“This night has been one of the best I've had in a while," you admitted once in the car. You were driving towards a high cliff that would give you a beautiful view of the starry sky. "Thank you," you smiled and turned to look at him, even if his gaze was at the road ahead.

“I didn't do anything, y/n,” he said and gave you a warm smile, turning to face you for a split second. “I'm just doing what I usually enjoy. Glad we have similar interests and enjoy each other's company!” he looked so happy and excited that you were enjoying yourself, especially if it was with his companion as well. From the start, his whole ‘plan’ was to make you happy, show you what he likes and see if you'll enjoy being with him while doing stuff he likes.

When the car reached the cliff, you both walked out and you sat down first, patting the space next to you. Chan sat down and stretched before one of his hands slid lower, holding your waist and bringing you closer. You bit your lip nervously and scooted closer, head leaning on his shoulder for comfort. That wasn't too much, was it? You soon relaxed and let a soft sigh leave your lips that Chan was looking at for minutes now, wishing he could kiss them soon.

How could someone be as perfect as you? Liking things he liked, a smile so bright he would replace the sun with, eyes that held the stars and all your secrets. He could find a billion reasons to show how perfect you are and they wouldn't be enough. Then it hit him. He could write them. Sing them.

“Chan, you good?” your voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he looked down at you, leaning on his shoulder and smiling slightly. “You were grinning just now, what were you thinking about?” you questioned while your eyes trailed back to the sky and its beautiful stars.

“Just... thinking about something that I can show you soon,” he chuckled and placed a hand on your head, softly. You nodded in response and hummed, which only made him more interested in his previous idea — spending more time with you would only mean more inspiration, more happiness, more... feeling loved and showing love.

He knew he had told Jisung that he would never date his sister, but on the other hand, Jisung told him that he wouldn't mind if Chan had a crush on her. That means he's okay with it, right? Absolutely.

A cute yawn from you made the boy chuckle and slowly stand up to show you that it was about time you head back home. You definitely didn't want Jisung waking up in the middle of the night noticing both of you gone. But, talking about Jisung, he was a heavy sleeper so there was little to no chance of this actually happening.

“Again, thank you for... this,” you chuckled and shrugged your shoulders once outside the front door. “It was a really nice night and spending it with you... made it ten times better,” hearing you say that, Chan blushed and laughed shyly.

"It- it was nothing, I told you,” he replied and his hand reached towards the front door. Before opening it, he turned to face you, a soft smile on his lips and his eyes looking at your figure in the dark with admiration - even if you didn't notice. "I wouldn't mind repeating it again,” he muttered, hoping you heard him.

He opened the door and both of you froze, eyes wide and lips parting as a pissed-off Jisung stood in front of the door, looking at the two of you as if you were criminals breaking in the house.

“Where the fuck were you?!”

#skz #skz series #skz one shots #stray kids #han jisung #bang chan #bang chan x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids series #brother's best friend #Lee Minho #seo changbin #yang jeongin #hwan hyunjin #kim Seungmin #lee felix #bang chan fanfic

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juletheghoul · 3 years ago

Text

Oblivius Chapter 10

We've come to the end my friends.

This is the last chapter for Francis & Spills and hopefully you'll enjoy it. I have had such a great time writing this story and have received so many lovely messages & asks about my two dumb idiot babies.

Although this is the end of the main story - you can always send in an ask about them because I will literally jump back in at the drop of a hat. (and who knows, might randomly drop a chapter / dabble if I get into my feelings)

Thanks for sticking with me!

Likes & reblogs are appreciated

Frankie Morales x F!Reader

Pairing: Frankie x F!Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Warnings: Fluff & general cuteness, Smut 18+ - dirty talk, p in v sex (NO MINORS + WRAP IT UP) language *time jump at the end - which has a little surprise* (let me know if I missed anything)

Masterlist Series Masterlist Prev Part Playlist

--------

Age: 29

He knew he shouldn’t have been nervous, but he couldn’t help it.

He was working on his feelings for her, on coming to terms with his hurt and his anger. Once the initial burn of it cooled he could admit to himself that they’d both been utterly stupid. Both were to blame for how things shook out.

He knew this was the right course of action. He knew from the way he felt right at this moment, getting ready to pick Spills up for their first official date. He’d never once in the whole time he’d been with Claudia felt like this.

He had decided to keep it simple. Dinner and a movie. Can’t fuck that up and after everything that had transpired, he needed simple. It had been a couple of weeks since their conversation and things were a little awkward at first - trying to navigate this new dynamic but their conversations had gotten more comfortable. Both of them agreed to make the first date official.

He couldn’t help but smile as he made his way over to her place, even though his stomach was in knots. Even though a small part of him was terrified to fuck this up. Nothing could be sadder for him than for this not to work and have them drift apart but when he saw her rushing over to his truck all the doubts and worries melted away.

Of course this’ll work. I love you.

“Ready?” He asked and the smile was bright on her face when she climbed in and buckled her seat belt.

“Of course. Where are you taking me?” She ran her fingers through his hair and he could have purred, the touch felt so right.

“To our place.” He pulled out and made his way over to Marcellos.

The food was just as good as you remembered. The two of you found your rhythm as you ordered your meals and when they came he wasted no time in tasting your food and offering his plate to you. You sighed at how your heart swelled. This was so easy - so natural and you kicked yourself mentally over and over for not opening your mouth earlier.

You’d been afraid that things would be awkward after your talk and at first it was. The conversations and texts were weird, impersonal and almost forced but after a little while it was easy to fall back into your friendship.

It was so easy because you were friends. You already had the solid foundations for this to work and you were going to put everything you had into it.

You laughed, and you ate, and you enjoyed each other's company - forgetting the time and when he ordered the tiramisu and two forks you smiled big.

“I already bought the movie tickets, so we should leave soon or we’ll miss the previews.” You told him as the waiter cleared the table.

“You did?” He was surprised. “What movie are we watching then?” He asked as he paid for dinner.

“I picked a horror movie, looked terrifying.” you pulled out the tickets and he laughed. Kissing your hand as he walked you out of the restaurant.

He paid for dinner, so you bought the movie and popcorn. You made it with enough time to get good seats in the middle of the theatre, for the best vantage point according to him. In reality you didn’t actually care where you sat.

He lifted the divider as soon as the two of you sat, making sure you could tuck yourself into his side at the scary bits and you wasted no time getting comfortable. His arm was around you reassuringly as the trailers started, the two of you whispering a bit too loudly, deciding what was worth your time and what wasn’t.

You tucked your face into his neck at the jump scares, asking in whispers if it was okay to look. You could feel the rumble of his chest when he laughed, not unkindly. Felt him kissing your forehead softly when it was okay to look.

Despite having already kissed before, despite having had sex once before - this felt so intimate. You looked up at him to find him already smiling at you, your heart racing at the closeness. At the tenderness on his face.

You kissed him. Petal soft and chaste at first but he deepened it, his big warm hand coming up to rest softly on your cheek. His tongue tasted like popcorn and sugar and you couldn’t help but smile into it at first. The movie forgotten, the fear morphing into warmth and desire for him. As far as you were concerned - this was your first real kiss, and it took your breath away.

The rest of the movie was spent with your head on his shoulder. His hand steadily rubbing your arm and his nose buried in your hair and you couldn’t remember ever having a better first date.

---

You left the theatre quietly, the walk back to the truck was a leisurely stroll. Both of you smiling to yourselves as you held hands, your other hand holding onto his arm - you couldn’t get close enough.

He walked you to the passenger side, pressing you up against it to kiss you again quickly. You could see that he was taking every opportunity to press his lips to yours and you let him. Both of you quiet, breathless and giddy. You didn’t need words. Not for this.

After placing a couple more onto your neck and cheeks he remembered himself, and opened the door for you, running around the truck to get in. His hand found its way into yours on your lap as he drove you home.

He walked you to your door and asking him to come in was on the tip of your tongue but he forestalled. Speaking before you could ask.

“I’m coming in to check every corner so you aren’t scared.” He followed you in, closing the door behind him as he spoke. “But I’m not staying over, as much as I want to. I want to take this slow.” He was looking at you and you could have cried, not from disappointment, but from regret. Regret at having wasted so much time - regret that it took so goddamn long for you to get the courage to tell him how you felt and he must have seen the emotion on your face because he was holding onto your face in a flash. Cradling your jaw softly.

“What’s wrong Spills? Did I go too fast?” His brow was furrowed and despite your happiness the regrets swallowed you whole, you couldn’t stop the first few tears from falling.

“No no! I’m sorry. This was perfect and I just- I feel bad that we waited so long and I wasted so much time and we should have done this so fucking long ago.” You couldn’t stop the sob from clawing it’s way up your throat as he held you and he sighed loudly. Pulling you into the crook of his neck within the soft glow of your home.

“No - stop honey. Stop crying please - this isn’t your fault. I shouldn’t have blamed you for everything. We’ve both been absolute idiots and maybe if we’d talked about this like grown-ups years ago all this bullshit could have been avoided, please stop crying.” He kissed your forehead as you clung to him. The smell of his clothes, the feel of him against your skin - his voice in your ear. It was all home and the longer he held you the better you felt.

“Listen, I was angry and hurt but the more I think about it the more I realize that we’re both to blame but it’s okay because we’re starting again right?” He pulled away to tilt your face up to look at him.

“We’re exactly where we’re supposed to be and this is going to work. It’s going to work because as far as I’m concerned you’re it. You’re the only person for me and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Do you understand? Forget everything and focus on this.” He was looking at you so intensely it was hard not to cry all over again. “Tell me you understand honey.” He kissed your cheeks, one after the other.

“Yes, I understand. I feel the same way about you Francis.” You smiled a watery smile up at him and he returned it.

“Good, now I’m going to check before I leave- kiss you goodnight and then we’re going to go out again.” And he did.

—

“Good morning!” You climbed into the truck after putting your beach bag and your cooler in the back. His face smiling at you brightly as he leaned over to you, lips pursed. You kissed him and he handed you your hazelnut coffee.

“Good morning honey.” His good mood was shining through as he pulled away from your home and drove towards the beach, just the two of you. “Did you bring me breakfast?” He kept looking over to see if you had anything for him, which of course you did.

“Of course - open up.” You put the buttery bagel half in his mouth and he ate it with gusto.

---

The day was gorgeous, absolutely perfect for the beach and he set about getting the blankets and the umbrella ready for the two of you. You watched him, savouring the sight of his deft hands making quick work of everything.

“You’re staring at me Spills.” He said it with a smile on his lips and you didn’t look away.

“Yes I am.” You couldn’t help but match his tone - he turned to you then and leaned in to kiss you. He kissed you at every turn and you cherished it, you loved the way he showed his affection for you. He was a physical creature and he luxuriated in being close to you.

“Good.” He smiled as he handed you the sunscreen and once you'd finished, he made himself comfortable against you. He chose to sit with his back pressed up against your chest, between your legs - despite having laid out his own towel.

You were floating.

The water was enveloping you, lapping softly at your skin as you let it carry you. The sun was shining and you had your eyes closed to shield you from it. You had gone into the water first while Frances read but now he was there too, always an arms length away but it wasn’t close enough and you both fell back into your usual rhythm of splashing and teasing until you were wrapped around each other.

You couldn’t help but wrap your arms around his neck, pressing yourself up against him. Even in the cool water, his skin was warm and you felt as he wrapped your legs around his middle. His hands started at your waist, but they quickly moved down and held onto your ass. You laughed.

“What are you doing Francis?” You asked it with a smile, these days it felt like everything you did was with a smile.

“I’m holding onto you Spills.” He was nuzzling his nose into your neck, placing little kisses around your collar bones and up the column of your neck to your ear. You hadn’t had sex since the night before his wedding, the two of you agreeing to take it slow but his hunger for you was becoming more and more evident as the weeks rolled by. His hands roaming a little more each time you were together.

“Onto my ass?” You looked into his face, cherishing it.

“That’s right.” He pressed his face into the crook of your neck, wanting to be closer, always closer. “Do you not want me to?” He smiled lazily - biting at your ear playfully.

“I never said that.” You breathed out the words, he was affecting you and you had to remember that you were in public. You fell into a comfortable silence. The two of you happy to float in the water as well as your happiness alike.

“Francis?” You were staring out into the water as you spoke, your head resting over his shoulder.

“Hmm?” He was resting his head on yours, eyes on the shore.

“Promise me we’ll live near the ocean one day.” You rubbed his back, tracing lines into his skin with pruny fingers.

“I promise, one day we’ll have a little house by the ocean. You’ll be able to hear it when the windows are open.”

The two of you floated out there for a long time, peaceful and quiet and in love.

—-

Your hand found its way into his curls on the way home, the salt water always defined them and it was too inviting to ignore. He never minded.

His hand found its way onto your lap and the two of you were connected the whole way.

“Come in. Park the rustbucket and stay over.” You didn’t want him to leave, not yet. You were ready for the next step in your relationship.

“Are you sure?” He asked even though he was parking the truck.

“Yes, we can order in.” You smiled a smile that had nothing to do with food.

“You’re gonna kill me Spills.” He was hurriedly unbuckling his seat belt, he wanted this just as much as you did and you couldn’t get inside fast enough. When you were finally inside he almost tackled you. Crashing into you with a bruising force, mouth insistent and unforgiving in its need for you.

“I want it in my bed.” You were pulling his shirt off as you pushed him towards your room and he growled.

“What do you want, baby? Tell me.” He was pulling off your shirt, undoing the top piece of your bathing suit as you finally got him into your room.

“I want you to fuck me. Make me cum like you did before, make me feel good.” You pushed him onto the bed and straddled him. He wasted no time and within a few seconds your nipple was in his mouth. Your grip on his curls was tight as you held him close to your chest. His tongue a slow swirl around the pebbled peak of your breast. First one, then the other. He was ruthless in his teasing, sucking roughly and then biting softly.

“You want my cock baby?” He was kissing your chest as he held onto your ass, your clothed core pressed up against the stiffening pillar of his sex. The arousal was a burning coal in the pit of your stomach and every time he pulled you closer it burned hotter. Your cunt ached for him, drooling out your passion into your underwear, the threads of you unspooling for him at your entrance.

“Yes, give it to me - please.” You bit at his neck, tasting the salt of the ocean on his skin and he moaned. You used the momentary distraction to pull off him and finish undressing. You helped him pull off his swim trunks and you pulled him into your shower, both of you were still covered in sand and you wanted to wash the day off him.

His body curled around you as you turned the shower on. His cock was hard and pressed up against the cleft in your ass. His hands were around your waist, holding onto your belly; your breasts. Anything and everything he could get his hands on and you both laughed as you got into the shower. You dragged him under the hot spray, helping him wash the salt and sand from his skin and his hair and he did the same for you.

Once you were clean he pressed you up against the wall, the cool tile against your nipples made you hiss and he pulled your waist toward him, one hand on your back to tilt your pelvis enough for him to slide in.

“Can I fuck you like this baby?” He leaned forward to press a kiss to your neck. You wiggled your hips against him in response.

“Yes Francis, give it to me just like this - please.” He groaned as he rubbed his cock through your folds, even under the spray he could feel how wet you were and he slid in to the hilt. His pelvis flush with the plump skin of your ass. “Fuck, I feel so full - you’re so big.” You smiled at the groan he let out at your words.

“You’re so tight, feels so fucking good.” He snapped his hips, fucking into you hard and fast. Both of you so keyed up that this wouldn’t last and you knew it. “That’s it baby, take it. Just - like- that.” He held onto your shoulder for leverage and you reached down with one hand to rub at your clit.

“Yes, make yourself cum, soak my cock.” He pulled you up holding onto your breast as he split you open on his dick.

“I’m gonna cum…” Your orgasm crashed into you, making you clench around him while he sped up, chasing his own high and you felt it when he groaned into your ear. Felt him emptying himself into you.

—-

You were both naked, laying in your bed in the fading light of the sun. His head was resting on your chest as you played with his hair.

“I'm starving, have you seen my phone? We should order a pizza.” He got up and looked around and for a moment you couldn’t believe that your Francis was walking around your place naked. Even though he’d fucked you in the shower, even though he’d fucked you in your bed; made you cum with his fingers and his mouth and his cock. Your pleasure seemingly more important than his.

“I think you dropped it onto the counter when we came in.”

He came back with it in his hand and ordered your usual order before dropping it onto your nightstand.

“We have forty minutes until it gets here.” He smiled darkly as he crawled up between your legs and despite everything you’d done, you flushed, wrapping your arms and legs around him lazily.

“Better make them count.” You kissed him, and he did.

When the pizza finally came you needed another shower, which you took together. He stayed the night, and never went home again.

——

Age: 30

“Francis, wake up honey, happy birthday!” You were kissing his face, pulling him softly out of sleep. He groaned and smiled as he buried his face into your hair. His hand travelled down to grab at your ass. Even half asleep he pawed at you, making you laugh.

“Mmmph, sleep.” He mumbled onto your skin. Soft and pliant on the bed you shared.

“Francis, come on - get up so we can celebrate.” You pulled him away slightly so you could pepper his face with kisses, something he loved. “Come on baby, get up, I have a few surprises for you.” You ran your fingers through his hair. It was getting longer and you loved it like this.

“Are you naked?” He didn’t open his eyes but you felt his wits sharpening.

“No, that's later, I have other surprises for you, three of them. Hmm?” You waited a few minutes and he opened his eyes.

“Alright alright, I’m up. What’s the plan?” He yawned and stretched.

“The plan is they’re coming to get you in about half an hour so get dressed.” You got up out of bed pulling him up with you.

“Who?” He was lost.

“Your surprises.” He frowned and then it dawned on him.

“Pope? Benny and Will?” His eyebrows shot up in shock.

“Yes! They’re on their way so come on, up up let’s get you ready, they’re taking you out and then we’re going to have a big dinner.” He was moving on his own now and you could see how happy he was.

“Did you set this up?” He was brushing his teeth and you nodded.

“Yes I spoke to Pope a few weeks ago, thought it would make you happy to have them here for your birthday. They’re going to take you out for the morning and then we can meet up at your parents place for a big dinner.” You smiled at him.

“You’re not coming?” He frowned despite his joy at seeing his closest friends in a few minutes.

“No, you have your time with them and I’ll see you in a few hours.” He pulled you close.

“I love you Spills.” He kissed you, deep and insistent, all of his feelings for you behind it and you had to pull away as his phone went off.

“I love you too Francis, now get your ass in gear. See you later, have fun!” You pushed him out, patting him on the butt to get him moving.

———

Age: 33

“I am completely in love with it Francis, look at the windows!” You were walking through the little house like a kid in a candy store. Trying to take it all in.

“It’s really nice, floors are good.” He was looking at the wood, taking stock of the layout and the sturdiness of the staircase leading upstairs.

“Do you think we could afford it?” You were pulling him towards the kitchen, to the big window over the sink where you could just see the water. The yard was a little on the smaller side but it was big enough to put a little patio set and a grill, big enough for the three of you.

“Do you want it?” He stood behind you, his arms around your waist as you both stared out through the window.

“Yes, I think we’ll be really happy here. Do we have enough?” You turned to press a kiss to the stubble on his cheek.

“Yes, we have enough saved and with you going back to work we’ll be fine.” You felt the little hands then, grabbing at both of you and he bent down to pick up your daughter. She was tired and rested her head on his shoulder. “I think she likes it.” He ran his fingers through her soft curls as he kissed her forehead. You couldn't help but rub her little back as she melted into his shoulder.

“Open the window.” He gestured towards the latch and when you did you heard the soft sounds of the ocean drifting in. He was smiling at you, holding onto the little life you’d both created.

“Welcome home Spills."

--------------

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writing-good-vibes · 3 years ago

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brad dourif characters x reader headcanons: marriage

marriage isn't for everyone but if you did tie the knot, there is no way it wouldn't be a wild ride with all of them, one way or another. warning for smut (mild).

charles lee ray

no one could ever accuse this man of being a romantic

(except he really, really is)

legally he doesn't care if you get married or not

but you suggest it first (not a proposal) and you both mutually agree to it

then he sort of proposes (with a ring and flowers) after you've already agreed

if you want a legal marriage it would have to be before any of his murders are he is known to the police

(he's already known for petty crime but getting married would really blow his cover if he's already a wanted murderer)

you go to the nearest courthouse and have a bare minimum ceremony

he wears the nicest suit he already owns

and you go out and get a white dress that you could wear again to a bar

you sign the papers

then you consummate your love in the ladies toilets

whether you go on honeymoon depends on how much money you have at the time

either you go to a tacky wedding motel or you stay in and don't leave the apartment for a week

either way you're having a lot of sex

like seriously

jack dante

it's hard work to get him to actually go through with the wedding

he is actually the one to propose to you

after sex of course

"babe, we should like, get hitched"

he means it, he does, but maybe in a more metaphorical way??

it takes some nagging but you finally get him to go down to the courthouse with you

there is definitely a legal/financial aspect of your marriage

like he may be the wild card employee but he gets paid ludicrously well for everything he contributes to the company (and to try and keep a little bit under control)

if something happened to him (and he has no doubt one day bob might just have him bumped off) he may as well give everything to you, there's no one else for it to go to

neither of you dress up for the ceremony

but you do buy some tacky bridal lingerie to wear underneath

another bare minimum ceremony

it's not your first rodeo doing it in a public restroom

it's almost romantic, a repeat of your first time

the white lacy panties are surprisingly very appreciated

you have to convince him to move back to his old apartment together now that you're married instead of hiding away at CHAANK

he honestly probably forgets you're even married until you bring it up

billy bibbit

he proposes to you

one day while you're at home on a sunday afternoon

lay together on the couch while you read

"h-hey, i h-h-have sssomething to a-ask you"

his stutters gets a tiny bit worse and you worry something is up

"l-l-listen, I-I rrreally love y-you a-a-a-and I-" he has to pause and collect himself

but you already know what he's going to ask and you can't keep from smiling

"w-will you m-m-mmmarry me?"

you throw your book aside and throw your arms around him

"yes! yes, of course I will billy!"

billy is a good christian boy so you have a good christian church wedding (unless you have other religious/secular preferences)

it's a very small wedding

only your favourite family members and closest friends come

same with billy

he feels incredibly guilty for not inviting his mother, but he hasn't seen her since he finally discharged himself from the hospital

you reassured him and remind him that this is the start of your lives together

he looks so dapper in his suit

you help him pick it out

he insists he doesn't want to see your dress until the big day

he cries when he sees you walk up the aisle

loves calling you his wife, and you calling him husband makes him feel wanted

puts your wedding photo in every room and carries it around in his wallet

sheriff brackett

he didn't expect he'd ever find someone he'd want to marry

(what with his last marriage ending the way it did)

when he realises he's truly in love with you, and you with him, he plans his proposal

it's nothing extravagant but it's absolutely perfect

you have a romantic dinner together and he does a whole speech about how much he loves you

and you see where it's going but you let him go on for a minute until you're like "do you want to ask me something?"

he flusters about it but is very cute and finally pops the question

"i - sweetie, i'd be honoured to make you my wife, will you marry me?"

you have a church wedding (unless you have other religious/secular preferences)

close family and friends only

cries when you walk down the aisle

annie gets very invested in helping with the planning and is probably more bothered about it than either of you are

you have a (very) classy dress

loves that he can call you his wife now !! the sheriff's wife !!

reception at your house, classic buffet

lowkey you both cannot wait untl everyone just leaves

*wink wink*

you do have a first dance in private though after everyone leaves

you're both soft and giggling and the song is a cheesy love song but it's perfect

your wedding night is the height of romance

your bridal lingerie really does it for him

what better start for your marriage than him making you cum so many times that you lose count?

doc cochran

you and doc didn't think you'd get married at all

neither of you felt the need to make anything official

you both consider yourself as his common law wife anyway

but something happens (either you get pregnant or some unrest with the camp politics makes the future seem uncertain) you decide you may as well tie the knot officially

there's no real proposal, he just sort of asks

you go to the Grand where E.B (being mayor) unfortunately has to officiate

you don't intend to invite anyone, saying it is no one elses business

but people catch wind (i.e. al, trixie and jane, merrick, maybe sol and seth) and basically invite themselves

you wear your best dress

and doc doesn't half scrub up well

Al invites you both back for a drink at the gem which you accept

("only one though, al" "sure, sure, you gotta get back home - the marriage bed is waiting - I understand")

the marriage bed is waiting though and you get kind of emotional when you go home together for the first time as husband and wife

funnily enough no one shows up at doc's that night for treatment and you have the whole night to yourselves

grima wormtongue

it takes you both a long time before you admit your feelings for each other and commit to having a relationship rather than a friends with benefits situation

marriages move fairly quickly in middle earth

no sooner are you engaged are you at the alter

wedding is moderately fancy because grima is doing pretty well being the king's adviser

few people actually show up who don't have to be there though because neither of you exactly have a lot of friends

grima almost clams up when it comes the ceremony because he doesnt want to say all this personal stuff about how much he loves you in front of other people

but you both get through it and finally, finally you are properly married

he's very emotional when you consummate your marriage but he tries to hide it

(but you know him too well)

tommy ludlow

he proposes one morning after sex

it's only just getting light and you both have to get up for work soon

you're still sweaty and his face is pressed into your neck

and in hushed tones you whisper back and forth

"will you marry me?"

it takes you a second to process what he said, "you wanna get married?"

"if you'll have me"

you kiss him and whisper "yes"

it's a church wedding for you and tommy (unless you have other religious/secular preferences)

he has a pretty big extended family and he has to invite them all

your dress and his suit are second hand

(because you're saving for better things)

laura takes a lot of photos for you

including the classic confetti toss one as you leave the church

takes you ages to comb all the confetti out of tommy's hair afterwards

cheesy first dance at the wedding reception

you can tell tommy is nervous so you joke around and make sure he doesn't take it too seriously

when you get home? goddamn you ride him like there's no tomorrow

(still in your wedding dress)

leo nova

it's go big or go home with him

80s fashion at its best

your dress is worth more than the rent on your old apartment

he doesn't see it before the wedding

you're surprised at how many traditions he sticks too despite him having the emotional range of a teaspoon

not many people get an invite to the ceremony but it's a wild after party

like a bunch of coked out 80s gangsters ?? amazing

the honeymoon is next level

you go to some tropical holiday resort (caribbean, thailand or spain) and it is all sun, sex and sangria for two whole weeks

tucker cleveland

didn't think he'd want to get married again

but in reality he just didn't like his first wife all that much

takes you out to dinner and proposes

when you say yes he is honestly relieved

but because he doesn't want to get emotional he calls over the waiter to get your free dessert

courthouse wedding

you do insist he wears a suit though and you buy a white dress

does the whole "just married" thing on the back of his truck

actually takes you on a honeymoon (sort of)

you go out of state and stay in a motel for a week

(vigorous sex ensues)

now you're married good and proper you can be his good little wifey

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buckyownsmylife · 4 years ago

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woman’s world - chris evans smut

The one where Chris pisses you off during a panel, but then finds a way to apologize

Warnings: age gap, famous!reader, oblivious Chris, smut, unprotected sex

Chris’ P.O.V.

The panel had gone well, or as well as it could go when everyone was trying to push the idea of Y/N and I together. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to pursue something with her - quite the opposite in fact. I was completely infatuated with the young actress, but the problem was just that: she was young. Too young for me, probably. So it was becoming harder and harder to deal with everyone commenting on how great we would be together when it was already all I could think about, and there was nothing I could do to make it come true without looking like an absolute predator.

Still, there was no denying that my favorite part about this particular press tour had been getting to spend time with her. She was just the perfect company, especially in a situation like this, which frankly could easily become tiresome and irritating. She just had this way of being able to read me and know what I needed, so she’d easily take over when she noticed an interviewer was getting on my nerves or overstepping some boundaries.

She was quickly becoming my favorite person, but unfortunately, the rest of our cast had noticed as much. And so that meant that for the last day or so, I’d forced myself to pull away from her, deliberately sitting as far away as possible and not even glancing her way whenever there was a camera around. I even managed to have a quick reaction when the panel moderator joked about us being the perfect couple, and I was proud of how my cry of “She’s a kid, for God’s sake!” had made everyone laugh, even my friends who had been keen on insisting I should ask her out.

So needless to say, I was in a good mood. Such a great mood, in fact, that I’d decided to ask Y/N to come back to my room so we could grab a beer and watch some movies. Asking around for where she had gone, someone pointed in the direction I thought I’d seen her head to, and after a couple of seconds, I managed to see her in the middle of the sea of people. Then it was just a matter of smoothly dodging everyone trying to lure me into pointless conversations and then she was already within ear reach.

Or so I thought, at least. I tried calling her name countless times, but she didn’t look back once. In fact, she even quickened her step, and soon enough I had to physically run so I could follow her into the elevator that could take us to the floor where we were staying.

I didn’t think too much of it, considering she probably thought I was someone else and was doing the same as I was: trying to dodge anyone who wanted to make us stay a bit longer on the crowded floor where the convention was taking place. But then we were inside the elevator and she didn’t even turn to look me in the eye.

More importantly, when I reached out to rub my thumb on her wrist, to signal that I wanted to hold her hand, the response I got was a harsh, “Is this your way of subtly hinting that you want to hold my hand? Because it’s quite cute, but I’m not in the mood for that at all.”

The attitude caught me by surprise in such a way that I was only able to snap out of it once the elevator’s doors opened, but before I could ask what the fuck was going on, she had ran out of it, walking towards her room with determination.

Oh no, she wouldn’t. There was no way I was letting her hide in her room, angry at me, when I didn’t even know what I’d done wrong. I sprung into action, running after her and managing to hold the door just before she was able to slam it in my face.

“What’s going on?” I cried out, pushing my way inside the room as she just stared up at me with hurt eyes and a pout on her lips. “What did I do?” Y/N huffed, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms while looking away from me, before I managed to pull her closer by her wrists when I pried her arms open again. “Talk to me, c’mon.”

She glanced at me with furrowed brows, quickly averting her eyes before looking back again with an unamused expression. “You’re really gonna act like you don’t know.” Anxiety coursed through my veins at a scary pace. It was clear that I’d hurt her, but I had no idea how!

“I really don’t know!” I cried out, begging her to answer me, so I could make this better. I couldn’t bear the thought of offending her, of possibly losing her… and her friendship. Since that was all I could get from her, I was gonna fight with everything to keep it. “Please, let me make it up to you.”

For a second, it seemed like she would relent. But when her eyes met mine again, it was clear that whatever she saw on mine reminded her of the reason that she was mad, because just when I started to smile, she caught a second wind, pulling her hands from me and turning her back.

“I don’t know why you’re so adamant about making me feel better. I thought I was just a kid to you.” And then, suddenly, it made sense. Flashes of what had happened not even an hour earlier played in my head, this time her face being the focus of it all. Perhaps it wasn’t perceptible for everyone else that her smile faltered when I shouted that idiotic thing, but to me it was.

To me it was, and still, back then, I didn’t see it. I chose not to see it, because I was so scared to deal with the truth. Instead, I ended up hurting her. And that was literally the last thing that I wanted.

“I-I’m sorry,” I immediately offered, raising a hand to scratch the back of my neck. “I just… I didn’t want them to start creating any narratives about us two together, you know? I mean… You know how they can get. And I can’t be… We can’t be... associated… like that.”

I knew I had screwed up even before it became clear that she wouldn’t answer. Despite how cautiously I’d tried to phrase it, it ended up sounding weird even to my own ears. And when she didn’t turn around to look me in the eye again, I didn’t know what else to do. I felt myself deflating, my heart beating desperately against my chest, terrified of losing her simply for being my stupid self.

“C’mon… You know what I mean,” I breathed out, trying to approach her and resting a hand on one of her shoulders, but she simply shook it off. “C’mon, Y/N, don’t be like that.” I made myself flinch with just how poorly I was handling that situation.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

I didn’t know what to do or say. Don’t be like what? “Like a child?” I asked, my tone icy enough to layer the tension in the room with one more level of awkwardness, and I didn’t need to see Chris to know that he was a mixture of nervous and confused, at the very least.

I knew it because I was, too. I was completely thrown off by my own behaviour, as weirdly as that sounded. I didn’t know why I was so defensive, except that I did. I did know it, I just didn’t want to admit.

“Well, this child wants to be left alone. I’ll talk to you later, Chris.” And I stormed off into the bathroom, only stopping to take a breath when I was sure the door was locked behind me. I needed to put some distance between myself and him, otherwise I was gonna lose it - even worse than I already did.

But it was too late to keep on ignoring my feelings. I was forced to deal with the reality of them, at least with myself, since I knew - especially after today - that there was no way I would ever get to reveal to Chris that I’d fallen for him.

To him, I was just a kid, and that’s all I would forever be.

Weirdly, I didn’t feel like crying as I took off my clothes and stepped into the shower, decided to wash away all of the bad feelings that this day had brought me. I just felt… disappointed, like a kid who’s been dreaming about a Christmas present only to find out they’ve been given socks. I’d been hopelessly trying to ignore my feelings for Chris, but at least a small part of me still fed into the ridiculous idea that he could possibly reciprocate those sentiments.

Now that it was obvious it would never be the case, it was like a small part of me had died on that stage.

By the time I got out of the shower, some twenty minutes later, I decided to put on a loose shirt I had kept around from some ex and take a nap until it was time to be social again. Certainly my friends would want to hit the bars or at least grab some dinner, and it would provide me with the perfect occasion to apologize to Chris.

Yes, that was perfect. That would get me a few more hours where I could manage to fabricate some resemblance of control before I had to see him. And then it would all go back to the way it was: me, pretending I don’t have a crush, while he kept seeing me as a kid.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn’t even notice the massive body hidden beneath the covers in my bed until I went to uncover it so I could slide in.

“What the hell are you doing here? Get out of my bed,” I chastised, but Chris only gave me those annoyingly effective puppy eyes that had me groaning. “No. You don’t get to do this. I’m still mad at you, go to your room and we’ll talk about it later, but for now, just let me wallow in peace.”

But still, he didn’t let up. I tried to climb on the bed, but he was now smack down on the middle of it, still pouting with those perfect full lips of his.

“Get. out. of. the. Bed.”

“Not until you tell me what I can do for you to forgive me. C’mon, baby girl, just let me make it up to you.” When I didn’t answer, making sure to avoid his eyes, he simply reached out and grabbed me by my hips, forcing me to sit on his lap. “Please?” He quietly begged, one hand cradling my face while the other maintained its grip on my hip.

The movement had caught me by surprise, and my mouth fell open as I realized that because the shirt had ridden up, I was sat panties glued to Chris’ jeans. And if that wasn’t enough to throw me into a ridiculously horny state, the fact that I could feel just how hard he was certainly did.

“C’mon, sweetheart. Don’t be shy,” he pressed, and my eyes snapped up to meet his, finding a hazy lust that reflected mine and a very, very naugthty smirk that didn’t help my current about-to-get messy situation. “Tell me how I can make it up to you.”

I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as I took a sharp inhale, thinking about what I was about to say. Could I really do this? Should we even do this? I still wasn’t completely sure about what the hell had happened, but one thing I was certain of, and that was that I really wanted him to, “Kiss me.”

For all the reservation I expected Chris to have about this, he didn’t hesitate a single second before pulling me to meet his lips, and it was everything I thought kissing him would be like. His lips were soft and as patient as he seemed to try to be, there was an undeniable edge of neediness in the way his tongue swiped my bottom lip, begging me for entrance.

“You’re not gonna let me in, honey?” He whispered against my lips, warm breath making me shiver in his arms before I was able to gather my thoughts.

“I don’t think you deserve it.” I shrugged, but by Chris’ teasing smile, I knew I had just given him exactly what he wanted. In a quick move, he had me sprawled on the bed underneath him, while he hovered over me with dark eyes that I never thought I’d get to see outside of my dreams.

“Let me show you why you’re wrong.”

Chris’ P.O.V.

I started by rubbing the outside of her thighs until she opened her legs enough for me to settle in the space between them. I paid close attention to the way her breath hitched even with the softest of touches, incapable of stopping the grin that made its way into my face.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking sensitive, baby.” She whined as I lowered myself to replace my fingers with my lips, slowly making out with the delicate skin of her inner thighs. “You see? This is why I was scared to reveal my feelings for you. It’d be so easy to ruin you.”

By the way she bit on her lower lip, I knew I had reached my goal of making her even more bothered with what I had said, and slowly, I ran my hands up her legs and grabbed her hips to pull her further down, closer to my mouth. I ran my tongue over her lower lip, just barely gathering the excess moisture, and despite how clearly affected she was, Y/N managed to grab my hair and whisper, “I think you’re full of it, Evans.” It made me smirk, but before I could even offer a comeback, she just continued, “But even if you’re right… I’d like nothing more than to be ruined by you and only you.”

A sharp inhale later and a competition of stares, I pounced on her, devouring her little pussy like I’d wish to do so many fucking times before. She was sweet, but her moans were even sweeter, and the combination of sounds and taste and smell only served to intoxicate me, make me even more thrilled about finally having this gorgeous woman underneath me.

As her juices dripped from my jaw on the bed, she kept caressing my head, keeping me closely connected to her like I would ever dream of stepping away from this moment. I wanted to stay right here forever, away from people’s judgements and the overwhelming fear that she would think this was a mistake after it was over.

And right here, as my nose brushed her clit as I plunged my tongue as far as it could go inside her hole, she came right before my eyes, her honey dripping onto my tongue as I came up to toy with her clit before at last parting with her taste.

“You’re so fucking sweet,” I pointed out, stealing her lips with mine so I could share her taste with her, so she’d know I was right. “You’re sweet all over. Shit, I really want to fuck you.” My voice became nothing but a whisper, and soon her hands were cradling my face, thumb playing with my bottom lip before I sucked it. It was true. I craved to feel her from the inside, know what it was like to possess her in that way, too.

“Then fulfill both of our wishes. I really want to be fucked by you.”

Godfuckingdamn. This girl was just perfect. I knew right then, I’d made the right choice by deciding to stick around. When she appeared wearing nothing but that shirt, I forgot all of the reasons that were holding me back from simply taking her, and even now, they didn’t seem all that important anymore.

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Your wish is my command.” I heard the words and braced myself to finally feel his cock inside of me, but still, the second that its head managed to fit, a long, drawn-out moan revealed just how impossible it was for me to restrain myself as Chris stretched me open around his member.

“Fuck!” Chris shouted, and it surprised me so much that it made my eyes widen as I stared up at him, hands still holding tightly on his muscular shoulders. “Sorry! Sorry.” He repeated as he bottomed out, forehead resting against mine as he seemed to catch his breath. “I just… I imagined your moans, but hearing them is a completely different thing altogether.”

The sentence had butterflies flying in my stomach and the reality of the situation suddenly hit me. I was lying in bed completely naked with a still fully clothed Chris Evans on top of me, and his cock was filling me in ways I’d never been filled before while he kept releasing these breathy little moans that had my heart skipping a beat every damn time my mind registered them.

“Good to know I’m not the only one who has been dreaming about this,” I settled for whispering in his ear before sucking on his earlobe, and a shiver passed through his body, making me giggle.

“Yeah,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss me quickly before deciding to do it again. “But I’m even more glad that this is actually happening right now.” What could I add to this? I didn’t think there were any combination of words possible. So I resigned myself to feel it, memorize every single thing about this moment when Chris started to pull out only to push back in again. “Let me take care of you,” he whispered, and in that moment, I’d let him do anything to me, just as long as he kept fucking me like this.

His thrusts felt like waves washing over the shore, bringing the tide of desire higher and higher and I could feel it reaching the point where it all changed, the point where my life would turn upside down because I would know what it felt like to cum around Chris’ cock, and the anticipation was enough to have me writhing on the unmade sheets of the hotel bed.

“Shit,” Chris chuckled, and I opened my eyes to find him staring at me with a soft look on his. “You’re unbelievable, sweetheart.” I could see the desire in his darkened pupils. I was sure it mirrored my own. “So beautiful, and you take my cock so well.”

Hearing him talk dirty was everything I’d always wished for, and I could feel myself getting even wetter around him, whines and whimpers escaping my chest as I held him closer to me.

“Fuck, I really wanna buy you a collar with my name on it. Make sure everyone knows I own you now.” The words, paired with the warmth of his breath had me clenching around him, and I fucking melted when I heard him meanly chuckle at my state - the state that he had caused me. “You want it too, huh?”

I really, really did. I’d never been one for external marks of possession, but something about this, about Chris and I, really had me going crazy for his proposal. Maybe because a part of me thought he would never want to admit this had ever happened. I thought he would try to deny it, and so to hear him wishing to boast about it… It really had me going crazy under him.

“Say it.” His voice cut through the haze, making me realize I was actually about to cum again. It took me a while to understand what it wanted, just enough to have him ordering again, in a tone of voice that made every single part of me tingle, “Say you want everyone to know that you’re mine.”

“I do. I want everyone to know I’m yours and only yours, Christopher.” I don’t know if it was the desperation in my tone, my use of his full name or the fact that I came again, but that finally had him losing the control of his movements, quickly pulling out of me and jerking himself off until his cum was painted all over my stomach.

For a second, it was only our labored breaths in the bedroom, staring at each other like we couldn’t believe this had really happened. “Still think I’m a kid?” I had to laugh, biting my lower lip while trying not to show that I actually was really nervous about his reaction now that we were done. But his eyes softened, a quick kiss deposited on my lips before he cradled me in his arms, cum and all, and answered, “You’ll always be my little girl. I just want to do some very adult stuff to you.”

#chris evans smut #smut #chris evans #chris evans reader insert #chris evans reader smut #chris evans reader inserts #chris evans x reader #chris evans reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans ff #chris evans oneshot

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rosyl-stuff · 3 years ago

Text

Finding Love

Paring: Lee Sangyeon (The Boyz) x reader

Genre: arranged royal marriage, fluff & angst

Warnings: nothing really (You can always message me if there is something triggering and I will add it as a warning)

Word Count: 4.1k (~17 minutes reading time)

You always knew that your parents will arrange a marriage for you. It was almost like a tradition. Royals rarely married out of love. Maybe they married out of love for the power that comes with marriage. Still, a part of you hoped that you find someone you love, with whom you can spend the rest of your life together. A part of you hoped that your parents would decide on a different faith for you. Unfortunately, this wasn't the case. Your parents promised you to the crown prince Sangyeon.

His kingdom is currently at war with the neighbouring kingdom in the south. With the marriage between your kingdoms, they want to form an ally to finally end the war. Your kingdom was small and wasn't really influential, but it had a strong navy, which Sangyeons kingdom needed. Your parents hoped to gain more political influence and prestige through this political alliance.

Your kingdom was thrilled by the news of you being the soon to be spouse of prince Sangyeon, even though they knew that this meant going to war. Maybe they were bored of the peace or, the outlook of glory and honour excited them. Sangyeon’s kingdom, on the other hand, was suffering. The war was holding on for a very long time by now and, the resources started to shorten.

Your parents gave you the option to refuse, but you didn’t have a good reason why you should say no other than that you barely know him. You didn’t want to let anyone down, so you agreed to the planned proposal. As a child, you always imagined your future self to fall in love with some Robin Hood and be a runaway princess, but you never had a secret lover. And besides that, the few times you met Sangyeon before, he has been nothing but friendly and respectful to you. You heard rumours of him being a ladies' man. Some of them going even as far as saying he already had a child. If this turns out to be true, it would probably hurt your pride a little, but you will learn to accept that. Marrying Sangyeon also came with many opportunities for you, such as the chance to reign one day.

The day of the wedding was stressful. The atmosphere was tense while everyone pretended that two childhood best friends are now marrying. This was the story told to the general public and, they were absolutely buying it. From the outside, it was the perfect love story to cheer up the kingdom. But in reality, you felt absolutely awkward. You didn't really have any chance to speak to Sangyeon before. During the reception, both of you were also busy keeping your guests entertained. When the night fell, you sat on the massive bed of your new bedroom and felt like throwing up. You were definitely not ready to spend the night with Sangyeon. But it was expected of you and, you didn't want to disappoint anybody. Sangyeon came in with a smile on his face. He seemed to enjoy the festivities today. Probably it was a good distraction from his usual stressful days here. The moment Sangyeon saw your face, his smile faded.

“You alright?” he asked.

You simply nodded because you didn't know how convincing you could lie to him.

“You look a little sick…” he murmured and squatted down in front of you.

He took your face in his hands and inspected your face. You thought you saw the worry in his face. Maybe you should just tell him. Maybe he would understand. You cleared your throat and tried to avoid eye contact.

“Are you nervous about tonight?” he asked.

"Maybe…" you mumbled as you felt tears sting in your eyes.

Sangyeon released your face and opted to hold both of your hands.

“Tell me what’s wrong”, Sangyeon asked as his thumbs caressed the back of your hands.

“I don’t think I’m ready”, you breathed out very fast.

You were almost sure he didn’t understand you, but then you heard him sigh.

“I’m sorry”, you mumbled, looking away.

“Don’t be! It’s fine. Let’s just go to bed.”

He stood up, hesitating for a moment, but then he gave you a soft kiss on your temple. When you looked up to him, he gave you a reassuring smile. It made you feel a little bit better, so you softly smiled back. His hands started to softly go through your hair to undo your hairstyle. You close your eyes, enjoying his soft touch. Your hair was already free, but Sangyeon still continued with his gentle strokes. You felt yourself relaxing as it reminded you of your childhood. Your mother used to do this to comfort you.

“Thank you”, you hummed and opened your eyes to look at him.

He was already looking at you fondly and, as you made eye contact, he gave you a cute smile.

The little moment the two of you were having was roughly interrupted by a guard storming in. Sangyeon turned around to him and, the guard quickly bowed in apology and stuttered something about rebels invading the castle. Your brain didn't really process the information until you heard the sounds of fighting coming closer to your door.

Sangyeon quickly pulled you up from the bed and told you to stay with him. He grabbed his sword in one hand as his other hand took your hand. He pulled you out of the bedroom and down the corridor, away from the fighting noises. You rounded a corner and were immediately confronted with two rebels charging towards you. "Stay behind me!" Sangyeon ordered as he started to fight with the two invaders. One of them managed to stab his sword into Sangyeon's thigh, which made him lose focus for a second. One second was enough for the other one to get past Sangyeon and charge towards you. You grabbed a candlestick that was used to décor the corner of the hallway. You swung it towards the rebel. It didn't felt like it looked elegant, but at least it was effective. You hit the rebel right on top of his head and sank to the ground with a groan. Immediately, Sangyeon was by your side again. "Are you hurt?" And as soon as you shook your head no, he pulled you further along the hallway. Sangyeon was limping a bit, but he still forced himself to go at a fast pace. He opened a secret passage behind a big painting and ushered you in. He quickly followed and closed the door behind him. It was completely dark in the secret passage and, you moved your hands in the search for Sangyeon. Your hands found his chest. You felt him breathing heavily. His hand touched yours on his chest and gently moved along your arm to locate your body. When he reached your shoulder, his hand wandered down your back before he slung his arm around your waist and pulled your flush to his chest.

“Sangyeon? My family…” You didn’t dare to finish the sentence.

"They should be fine", he whispered and started to slowly move you deeper into the dark passage.

You clung to him as you moved through the dark. You were probably restricting his movements, but he didn't complain, so you didn't let go. You reached a wooden door where Sangyeon knocked on in a specific rhythm. A few seconds later, the door was opened and revealed a lighted room. Sangyeon gently pushed you into the room. The first thing you saw was your mother running to you and engulfing you in a hug.

“I was so worried about you”, she said as she inspected if you had any injuries, “You can stop crying now. Everyone is here and safe.”

You touched your cheek and felt a wet sensation. You only now grasped that you indeed had been crying. Your mother pulled you towards the rest of your family. You looked back to Sangyeon and saw that a doctor was already looking at his wound. Your family was fussing over you and completely distracted you from the attack. As a guard came to the hideaway, he gave the all-clear signal. You and your parents went with Sangyeon and his parents to a parlour to discuss the matter.

As soon as the door was closed, your mother announced: “We are going to annul the marriage. There is no way I’m letting my only daughter live in such a dangerous situation.”

You tried to interfere, but your father gave you a look that told you, now is not the time for you to speak. You let yourself sink onto the chair next to Sangyeon, who looked visibly exhausted. "Are you alright?" you asked him. He nodded and tried to give you a reassuring smile, but he still looked like he was in a lot of pain.

The both of you watched your parents argue. Sangyeons parents refuse to annul the marriage, whereas your parents insisted on it. No one asked you or Sangyeon. You started to think about what you wanted. You had to admit that your public image was important to you. If the marriage was annulled, your image would be a little bit tarnished. The little lie about being madly in love with Sangyeon would also be exposed to the public. If you would stay despite the attack it probably would support your image and the little lie. Maybe it would even lift the spirit of Sangyeon’s kingdom. Sangyeon leaned over to you and whispered: “You should support your parents. This is your chance to get out of here. There won’t be another one.”

“You want me gone?” you whispered back.

He chuckled: “No, not really. I want you to be safe. You have done nothing to deserve this terror. This attack will not be the last one.”

“You keep me safe, right?”

"I want to keep you safe, yes. But I can't promise you safety. I will need to go to war and, you will be here alone. Sure, some guards protect you. But I can't promise you that I will succeed in keeping you safe."

“When you want me gone, why don’t you support your parents?”

"Did you not hear me? I don't want you gone. It might be selfish, but I think I will quite enjoy your company here. But I know that you're safer at home with your parents. I want to give you a way out because I know living here can be rough."

“Father! Mother!” you called out.

Sangyeon sighed and leaned back into his chair with his eyes closed.

“I want to stay here!” you announced.

Sangyeon opened his eyes in shock. You gave him a quick smile and patted his hand. Then you turned to your parents, who looked just as shocked. Sangyeons parents looked surprised as well, but for them, it was a pleasant surprise.

“Can I have a moment with my parents?” you asked them as you stood up.

They nodded and, you took your parents aside. Your mother was already crying.

“Have you lost your mind? You could be already dead”, your father said.

"I know, but Sangyeon will take good care of me. He will also keep me safe. Think about our own kingdom and reputation. We will look like cowards if we annul the marriage.”

"I don't care. I just don't want my child killed by rebels. They can have the navy and everything, but your safety is important to us", argued your mother.

"You cannot always protect me. Trust me. It is best if I stay here."

Your father sighed: "Let's sleep for the night. And if you still want to stay by tomorrow, I will consider it."

After that, everyone went to their bedrooms. You helped Sangyeon out of his clothes and into the bed. You barely slept that night, but the next morning you still wanted to stay. Your mother was unhappy about it, but in the end, they left without you. They realized that you were now an adult and wanted to accept your decision. However, they assured you that it is always possible to change your mind.

Sangyeon was probably the most thankful that you stayed. He tried to fulfil every wish you might have indicated you have. He spoiled you with expensive jewellery so much that you didn't know when to even put it on. He ordered the cooks to only cook your favourite food even though he didn't like it at all. One evening he came into the bedroom with yet another necklace and, you had enough. "I don't want it", you simply said.

“Do you not like it? Do you prefer a different style?”

"No, it is pretty. But I don't need another necklace and, I don't want it."

He looked at you confused: “W-what?”

“I don’t want your presents anymore, Sangyeon. And also, tell the cook to go back to the regular meal plan.”

“But it is your favourite food?”

“Sangyeon”, you stated firmly, “Stop that. I’m fine. I’m not fragile. I won’t change my mind because I don’t eat my favourite food every day.”

"I'm trying to be a good husband!"

You sighed: "I know you don't do this out of love but out of pity. I don't want your pity. If you want to be a good husband, then please stop with that."

Without another word or reacting to his shocked face, you went to bed and curled up on your side of the bed. Sangyeon sat down on his side of the bed: “Y/N? Please-“

“Goodnight, Sangyeon!”

The next day you successfully avoided Sangyeon. You feared you were too harsh with him, but you were sure he will soon get over it. In the evening, you and Sangyeon had a poet as a guest at dinner. In the beginning, the atmosphere was a little tense, but the poet was quite charming. Soon he had engaged you into deep conversation about the meaning of life. He also complimented you several times on your appearances and your intellect, which made you blush slightly. But at the same time, you brushed it off as him being nice. He made you feel very comfortable. It was the most extensive and most interesting conversation you had since you lived here. The lively conversation was interrupted by Sangyeon slamming his wine glass down on the table. You had to admit you totally forgot about your husband sitting across from you. Now everybody was staring at him while he glared at your guest.

“Is the wine not to your taste, Your Highness?” asked the poet.

“You, flirting with MY spouse, are what has spoiled my appetite", Sangyeon replied and, with that, he stood up and left the dining room.

“Please excuse my husband. He had a rough day today. I’m sure he didn’t mean that”, you excused Sangyeons behaviour. The rest of the dinner was kind of awkward but went by smoothly.

When you went to your bedroom, your maid informed you that Sangyeon is staying the night in one of the other bedrooms. You weren't sure if that meant someone else would be staying with him, but you didn't dare to ask your maid about it. Sooner or later, it would have happened anyway, but it still hurt. With an aching heart, you went to bed alone. The next morning, you woke up to a massive bouquet of roses. Not only were they a beautiful sight, but little love notes were hidden in the bouquet. All of them were signed with "Your secret admirer", which made you smile a little. After that night, you could use that little boost in your self-confidence. Your maid came in and grinned at you. "Flowers from an unknown lover are not unusual for a princess, even if she is married", she explained to you. You decided to not tell Sangyeon about the flowers and hid the love notes. Still, you felt like you should talk to Sangyeon about his behaviour at dinner.

You found Sangyeon in his study. He only shortly looked up and, after he saw it was you, he went back to his work.

“We need to talk about what happened at dinner”, you announced.

Sangyeon only gave a grunt of acknowledgement. You were starting to get a little bit mad.

“Are you aware how much influence this poet could have on our reputation? He could write you as a horrible and rude prince?”

“Or you as someone who lets everyone flirt with them”, Sangyeon countered.

You had to control yourself not to slap him as you felt the heat crawl up to your cheeks. Sangyeon slowly looked up at you with a challenging expression. Without another word, you left his study, but you make sure to slam the door.

You went back to your bedroom and crawled under the covers. You felt angry and humiliated. Maybe you should have let your parents annul the marriage. But you didn't know you would be facing these problems from early on in your marriage. You didn't understand why Sangyeon even cared about the poet flirting with you.

You didn't know how long you had been riding on your mental merry-go-round, but after a while, there was a knock on your door.

You sat up and shouted, "Come in!"

Sangyeon came in, which caused you to groan and turn away from him. When you didn't hear him move, you turned back to him. He still stood at the entrance to your bedroom with a box in his hands.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

You just nodded. Sangyeon accompanied you on the bed. On his way, his eyes shortly lock onto the massive bouquet, but he decided to not comment on it. He opened the box he brought with him. It was filled with sweets. He held out the open box to you. When you didn't grab one, he took a piece himself and put the box down in front of you.

“I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I’m an idiot”, he started.

You nodded in agreement and took one of the sweets, which made him smile.

“And I’m also sorry about yesterday. I guess I couldn’t help myself but get possessive over you.”

It involuntary made you smile, so you quickly looked away. Sangyeon took this as a sign that you are still mad at him. He hesitated for a moment but then grabbed your hands.

“I’m really sorry. How can I make it up to you?”

You looked back at him, “Sweets are a good start!”

He grinned and pulled you into a hug. It was the first hug you ever shared and, it made your heart beat a little faster. You tried to control your body reactions. The last thing you now need is falling for Sangyeon when he just started to sleep with someone else. Without letting you go, Sangyeon laid down on the bed.

“I was upset yesterday because I realize I never had a conversation like that with you”, he confessed.

“Well, now is your chance…" you mumbled as you carefully cuddled a little bit more into his chest.

He smelled so good and, his arms around you were so comforting you were afraid of getting addicted to it. The majority of the day was spent talking to Sangyeon while cuddling and eating sweets. It felt like getting to know Sangyeon for the first time since you got married.

The next dinner the poet was still your guest and, you made an effort to smoothly block his flirty advances. You still remained friendly and kept up a lively discussion with him, but this time you made sure to include Sangyeon in it. Your guest wasn’t that happy about you blocking off his advances but retreated to a normal conversation. Sangyeon had a satisfied smile on his lips that he couldn’t really hide. After the dinner, the two of you walk to your bedroom and, Sangyeon admitted that he has been enjoying this dinner far more than the last one. You let out a giggle, but it was cut short when Sangyeon stopped in front of your bedroom door. You already forgot about him not sleeping in the same bedroom anymore. Now that he subtly reminded you, your heart started aching again.

You must haven't been able to control your expression because Sangyeon gave you a worried look and asked: “Are you alright?”

You quickly nodded and gave him your best fake smile. He smiled back and took your hand. His thumb gently caressed your hand as he looked down at your hands. Then he lifted your hand up to his lips and gave your hand a soft kiss that had a longing feeling to it. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as you starred at him with wide eyes. "Goodnight, Y/N", he breathed against your hand before giving it another quick kiss. After that, he turned around left you standing there. Confused, you went to bed. More mixed signals than that were impossible.

To your surprise, there was another bouquet of roses the next morning. You thought the roses were from the poet, so you didn't expect another bouquet today. Again, there were multiple love notes hidden and, all of them made you feel really giggly. But none of them really did what Sangyeons hand kiss did to you.

Just as you finished hiding the notes, Sangyeon knocked at your door.

"Good morning. So last night, I thought about your interest in reign a kingdom and, I was thinking, you should help me with my work today." Your face lit up and, you enthusiastically took Sangyeons hand as he led you to his study. It was just your first day, but you learned so much. You were exhausted as you let yourself fall into bed that night. The next day you accompanied your husband in his study again. As you both took a little break, you decided to ask him what has been wandering on your mind the whole time.

“Sangyeon, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Who are you sharing your new bedroom with? Do I know this person?”

Sangyeon looked at you, confused.

“Who do you think I should be sharing the bedroom with? With my brother?”

“No… I thought… Nevermind.”

Sangyeon sat down on the chair next to you and took your face in his hands. He looked at you intently, trying to read your expression. You felt blood rush to your cheek as you moved your hands to his to move them away from your face. But Sangyeon didn’t budge.

"Y/N, I would never sleep with someone else. I'm married to you and, even though it was an arranged marriage, I will still be faithful to you."

“Then why…”

“I thought you wanted more space after you said you don’t want my presents anymore. I thought you felt restricted and suffocated by me. I didn't want to put pressure on you either. I’m sorry. The last thing I wanted is that you think I sleep with someone else. God no, I would never.”

Relief flooded through you as you nodded. Sangyeon smiled at you as his thumbs started to caress your cheeks.

“Can you come back to our bedroom?”

He nodded and pulled your face closer to his. For a second, you thought he is going to kiss you. But he just placed a soft kiss on your forehead, which was already enough to send the butterflies in your stomach flying.

That night you nervously waited for Sangyeon in your bedroom. He told you to go ahead and that he needs to do something before joining you. As the door opened, Sangyeon came in with a massive bouquet of roses. He set them down next to the other two. In this bouquet, no love notes were hidden, but instead, Sangyeon handed you a letter. As you opened the letter, you finally noticed that Sangyeon and your secret admirer had the same handwriting.

"You are my secret admirer?" you asked, surprised.

Sangyeon scratches his neck and chuckled awkwardly: "Yeah… But read the letter first, please."

Sangyeons letter was making you blush in the best way possible. You never received a confession letter, but you were sure it was the best confession letter to ever exist.

"Oh, Sangyeon, this is beautiful!”

You stood up and walked up to him. He also had a slight blush on his cheek, “You think so? I really like you. And I can understand if you don’t-“

You interrupted him when you grabbed his collar and pulled him towards you so you could kiss him. When your lips collided, the world seemed to move slower. All of the kisses before have always been soft, but this one was passionate and almost desperate. Sangyeons hand moved to your waist to pull you closer to him. The kiss felt like it would seal your happily ever after for the both of you.

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