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sweet-demiboi · 2 years

Text

Roughly 1200 words, making-out, dirty talk, talk about sex, sexual themes and jokes, the knights getting traumatised, Merthur, Male!reader x Gwaine, slight Lancelot x Gwen, and Arthur's and Merlin's dirty talk is based on Merlin's duties as a servant fight me

Merlin and Arthur were a couple.

Leon had heard them in the armory, Arthur was talking with a seductive voice about Merlin needing to polish his sword. The knight had almost died of laughter, but he didn't want them to notice him, so he almost bit out a piece of fabric from his cape.

Nobody of their close friends was surprised about it, even though they weren't told. But they had caught them on numerous occasions, which was equally funny and annoying:

Gwaine had stumbled over them in the night, he had... lent something out of the palace's kitchen and wanted to get to his chambers as quick as possible. Crossing a corner he had seen them, Merlin pressed against a pillar, Arthur against his chest. He did take another way.

Percival only wanted to take care of his horse, cleaning it and playing around when he heard two other people "playing around" in the straw. When he dared to take a glance he had seen Merlin and Arthur, then he left the stable with a very much noticeable blush.

Elyan was on his way for visiting Gwen when he saw Merlin and Arthur dissapearing in a room strictly for servants. He wondered and walked after them, but after seeing what they actually did in there he continued the way to his sister as if nothing had happened.

When you wanted to visit Arthur as friend, you heard voices inside his room and your curious nature took over:

"Mh, Arthur"

"Come on, Merlin, you're a servant - I can punish you as long as I want and how I want."

"Yes, Sire."

Only the following rather passionate moan and "Good boy" from Arthur kept you away from storming in there and defending your friend.

Lancelot also wanted to get to Gwen one day and met Arthur and Merlin on the way. They exchanged some greetings and Lancelot remembered that he wanted to ask Arthur when their next training was, so he turned around and saw the king grabbing his servant's ass. Gwen had to take care of him afterwards.

The knights all had their trauma now and got together one evening for a kind of group therapy session.

"We can't continue on like this!", Leon said "We have to tell them that we know they're together."

"We should rather tell them to keep their dicks in their pants for once", (Y/N) mumbled. Gwaine and Percival were nodding furiously at that.

"For once, I have to say that (Y/N) is right. How would it help to tell them we know they're a couple?", Elyan thought out loud.

"Maybe then we could talk to them about their sexual activities and how they're affecting us.", Lancelot argumented.

"And the truth is best usually.", Gwen, as their certified therapist, said "I'm sure that they will think about their actions when you tell them how they make you feel."

"Okay, but still, who's going to go up to them and say 'Hey lads, just so you know: We know you're a couple and we don't appreciate you fucking at every corner in the castle, please stop it, thank you.'?", Gwaine asked in his typical Gwaine-manners.

"Now we know at least who definetly won't.", (Y/N) said dryly.

"I could do it", Lancelot suggested "I humbly think that I'm the most sensitive out of us knights."

"I think that would be a great idea.", Gwen agreed with her boyfriend (also no secret but not because of the same reasons like Arthur's and Merlin's).

"Yeah, thank you, Lancelot", Percival said, relief in his face.

"Will see you guys tomorrow", (Y/N) got up from his chair and stretched his hand over to Gwaine "Come on, dear. I wanna fuck in a servant's room too" Gwaine laughed while the others were shouting after them of 'not wanting to know', 'not taking their trauma seriously' and 'please no taking of each other in a servants' room'.

You two were walking hand-in-hand from Gwen's house to the castle. After a while Gwaine asked: "Were you serious?" You showed a seductive smile in return "I'm always serious when I talk about you taking me" A hungry growl left Gwaine's lips and he slammed you against the next house-wall, kissing you fiercly.

You would've continued making-out and not caring about where whom took whom, but a rumble from inside startled both of you and you ran off laughing when you heard the voice of an old woman saying:

"I swear to god, if it's those two boys again, there will be blood!"

You ran until you reached the castle, quietly jogging inside and kissing against almost every surface you could find.

"We should maybe get into one of those rooms though", Gwaine suggested with swollen lips (you loved that sight) "I don't want any guards to find us"

You agreed with him and to your luck there was a door in reach, Gwaine put his lips on yours again and opened it. Pressing you against a wall. He sneaked one hand on your ass and secured your hands over your head with the other one.

Then he went down your neck, leaving hickeys, you screamed when there appeared a third hand pushing up your top to get your chest on display.

Your scream made Gwaine jump and also scream, then your voices mixed with two others, which resulted in more screaming from all of you.

"Who the hell is here?", Gwaine asked, pushing you a little behind him, but he couldn't see anything. In the next moment there was a bright light, made by a torch as you could see after a few seconds - it was a guard.

Your look fell on no one less than Merlin and Arthur themselves right next to you, hair roughled up and Merlin also had some bruises on his neck, then the guard asked: "Apologies, Sire, I thought you were a burglar. But what are you actually doing in here?" - "It's not what, it's who", Gwaine mumbled under his breath, which only you, Merlin, and Arthur could understand.

"What?", asked the guard again "Yeah, (Y/N), tell him what we were doing", Arthur requested, looking at you intensively "Uhh, we were... memorizing some poetry."

The guard nodded, looking weirdly at all of you and then dissappeared.

"We uhm..", Merlin tried to safe his and Arthur's arse, not knowing that you knew of them yet "Merlin, we know what you were doing in here, we have known for quite some time", you interrupted.

"You were doing the devil's tango", Gwaine said "Buttering the biscuit?", he kind of asked when everyone looked at him in question

"Oh my god", you rolled your eyes "Let's go", Arthur suggested, then you all got out of the room.

"We shall tell you to be a little more discreet with your 'sexual activities' as Lancelot put it, we would all be very thankful.", you told them, Merlin blushed, a crooked smile on his face, while Arthur said nothing, only looking at you both in embarassment "We'll try", Merlin answered "Thank you very much", Gwaine nodded his head.

"Who's hand was on my arse in there?", you asked in confusion "Who touched my boy?", Gwaine asked a little overprotective "Merlin, let's go", Arthur said "This never happened, (Y/N) I'm sorry, have a good night!", then they were gone quickly.

You looked at Gwaine and both of you had to start laughing so hard, you wondered why the guard didn't come again.

#gay #pansexual #bisexual #lgbt #male!reader #trans #ftm #omnisexual #merlin x male!reader #merlin x male reader #gwaine x male!reader #gwaine x male reader #merthur #merthur smut #in general kinda smutty

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remedialpotions · 4 years

Text

An Artistic Rendering, part 2

I couldn’t stop myself. (But also, I had a lot of fun writing this so... here. Have it.)

Wednesday night art classes were typically followed by a casual dinner at a nearby restaurant. Usually, Hermione enjoyed this post-class debrief session with her mum, but that had been under normal circumstances, when they’d been working on drawings of flowers or cats or bowls of fruit. Tonight, Hermione was not totally sure how she would tolerate sitting across from her mother for an entire meal, nor if she would ever be able to look her in the eye again.

“So, what do you think you want to order?” asked Mum cheerfully, opening up her menu. “I’m rather hungry, aren’t you? Maybe we ought to order a starter - the bruschetta here is supposed to be excellent.”

“Sure,” Hermione said, staring blankly into her own menu. Words like ‘carbonara’ and ‘pomodoro’ and ‘rigatoni’ floated meaninglessly in front of her. “Whatever you want.”

“Ooh, let’s get some wine, too,” Mum added. Had Hermione possessed the wherewithal to look at her, she would have been goggling in disbelief. How on earth was she so cheerful after what had just transpired? How was she, too, not completely disturbed? “How about Chianti? I never know what’s supposed to ‘pair well’ with something else, I just always get what I like-”

“Great,” interjected Hermione, eyes fixed on a description for chicken marsala. “Sure. Whatever.”

Mum set down her menu; in her periphery, Hermione sensed her leaning curiously toward her. “What’s going on, dear? Are you all right?”

“‘What’s going on?’” Hermione repeated back, incredulous. “‘Am I all right?’”

“Well-” Mum blinked, taken aback. “I know there were a couple other drawings that the instructor liked better, but she still thought yours was rather good - and you’ve always been better at things like science and maths anyway-”

“It’s not that.”

Just as Mum opened her mouth to inquire further, a young woman in a crisp white blouse and black pants arrived at their table. “Good evening, ladies,” she greeted them. “My name is Nicola and I’ll be your server this evening. May I get you started with something to drink?”

Mum ordered the bottle of Chianti (Hermione privately thought they might need more than one by the time the night was over) and the bruschetta, and Nicola flounced away.

“Mum,” Hermione said, once she was sure that their server was out of earshot. “You drew a picture of Dad.”

“Well, of course I did.” Her voice was infuriatingly casual. “He was the obvious subject, wasn’t he?”

“So you don’t think that was awkward for me at all?”

“Yours was of Ron,” Mum pointed out, leaving Hermione to briefly wonder how she was possibly related to someone so level-headed. “I’m certainly not interested in seeing my future son-in-law like that.”

The discomfort of the evening was dulled, at least momentarily, by this implication that she would be marrying Ron. While they were not yet engaged - Hermione was in no rush, and perfectly happy to cohabitate - she was also quite certain that she would be spending her life with Ron, and it was nice to know that her mum was so certain of it too.

Though, perhaps that made the events of the evening even more bizarre.

“That’s different,” replied Hermione finally.

“How, exactly?”

“He’s not in his fifties, for one-”

“One day he will be,” said Mum, “and I’m sure when that day comes, you’ll find him just as attractive as you do now-”

“Oh my God,” groaned Hermione, squeezing her eyes shut against the barrage of unwelcome mental images that her mum had just conjured up for her.

“Well, really.” Hermione forced herself to open her eyes, only to see a knowing, almost smug sort of look on her mum’s face (perhaps they had more in common than she thought). “Am I meant to believe that this was the first and only time you’ve ever seen it?”

“Please stop-”

“And don’t think we don’t know what happened in Australia.”

Before Hermione could inquire further about this - Australia was a topic that almost never arose between her and her parents, for obvious reasons - Nicola returned with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. The instant the wine was poured, Hermione seized upon her glass and drank deeply from it.

“What were you saying about Australia?” Hermione asked, once she had stopped to catch her breath.

“Just that it was clear what had… transpired between the two of you.”

Hermione paused, considering this, hoping her face was not giving anything away. It was true that she and Ron had had sex for the first time in Australia, just days before locating her parents and restoring their memories. And she did not expect her mum to be under any illusions about the nature of her relationship with Ron; they lived together, and before that, she had been quite unabashed about spending the night at his. But it was one thing to know, and quite another to discuss it.

“You could tell?”

“A mother always knows,” said Mum blithely around her own, more reserved sip of wine. “And really, it was just a matter of time. I always knew that.”

“You did?”

“It was always clear to me, and to your dad, that you had a certain connection with him,” said Mum. She had grown thoughtful now, introspective. “Actually, I imagine it was clear to everyone but the pair of you at times.”

“You’re right about that.”

“It’s why we were always happy to let you spend summers with his family, or spend your Christmas at Hog - at school,” she finished lamely, eyes darting around the restaurant. “You had such trouble fitting in when you were younger, and we were so happy that you found someone who… who understands you, the way he does.”

Hermione nodded, thankful that Nicola had swept over to them with a plate of bruschetta, because she was at a rare loss for words. She always knew her parents had liked Ron, and they’d made no secret of their gratefulness that she had found friends at last in him and Harry. But she hadn’t known that they had seen the depth of their relationship, or understood its uniqueness. Most people questioned what she and Ron saw in each other… but her parents had always known.

“And he really must love you,” Mum went on, helping herself to a piece of toasted bread piled high with chopped tomato, fresh basil, and grated parmesan. “To have done what he did for you.”

Myriad events flashed through Hermione’s mind: Ron, at twelve, vomiting up slugs; at thirteen, telling off Professor Snape; at fourteen, begrudgingly pinning an SPEW badge to his robes; at eighteen, offering himself up for torture in exchange for her. Posing starkers for a figure drawing ranked rather low on his running list of self-sacrifices, and yet it was not lost on Hermione how lucky they were that this was now their biggest concern.

“You’re right,” replied Hermione, taking her own slice of bruschetta. “He really does.”

***

Ron was at the sink, scrubbing a sponge over a dinner plate, when Hermione walked through the door of their flat. “Hi,” Hermione greeted him brightly, approaching him in search of a quick kiss hello. “I’ve brought leftover spag bol if you want it.”

“You know I do.” Ron shut off the faucet and picked up a small towel to dry his hands, then bent to touch his lips to Hermione’s. “A departure from your usual, innit?”

“I didn’t want anything too fancy,” replied Hermione, handing the styrofoam box to Ron, who immediately opened it to peer inside. “I was a bit put off my appetite to be honest with you.”

“Uh oh.” Ron fished a fork out of a drawer. “Dare I ask how it went?”

“You were very well-received,” Hermione assured him, making him grin as he twisted strands of pasta around his fork. “But erm…”

“Yes?”

“My mum… she, er…”

“Oh, no.” Ron paused with his fork in mid-air. “She didn’t have… comments, did she?”

“She did, actually, but that’s not the problem. She…” Hermione waited while Ron chewed his mouthful of pasta. Unlike her, his appetite only increased during times of distress. “She drew my dad.”

To her surprise, Ron burst into raucous laughter. “Yeah, I expected that she would have done.”

“You could have warned me!”

“And you could have warned me that a group of twenty people were going to see my todger before you had me starkers in the sitting room,” Ron grinned, “but you didn’t, did you?”

Though she was outwardly scowling at him, Hermione had to work to keep a smile off her face. “Again, it’s not like I took photos-”

“Merlin’s pants, I bet that’ll be next-”

“And really, it’s quite different when it’s your own father - I didn’t look at it or anything,” Hermione was quick to state, “but even just knowing…”

She broke off with a shudder. Ron set down the container of pasta and folded her into his arms, where she laid her cheek automatically against his chest.

“That sounds traumatic,” said Ron, gently kissing the top of Hermione’s head.

“It really was.”

“Should we sign you up for therapy?”

“Yes, please.”

With another little chuckle, he kissed the top of her head again, and she settled in against him. Her mum had been right: she did have a connection with him that was unlike anything else. She had always known that they would end up exactly as they were now, even when they hadn’t been able to see it themselves.

“So you said your mum had some comments?” asked Ron after a few minutes’ easy silence. “I’m a little scared to ask.”

“Not about the picture,” Hermione said. “Mostly about how… how good you are for me.”

“Yeah?”

“She referred to you as her future son-in-law.”

Ron loosened his grip on Hermione just enough to look down at her with surprise. “Did she really?”

Hermione nodded again. “Does that… freak you out?”

It was not a question of whether he loved her, or was wholeheartedly committed to her; she knew without a shadow of a doubt how he felt. But with marriage came things like babies and home loans and joint vaults at Gringotts, and it was not unreasonable to think that at nineteen, he simply might not be ready for it.

But he just shook his head, and moved in to kiss her again - this one soft, warm, lingering. “Nope. Not at all.”

Happily, Hermione resumed hugging him.

“Maybe next time,” said Ron, his hand rubbing idly up and down her spine, “you lot could do something a little more… you could join a book club, maybe. Something like that.”

“That could be fun,” responded Hermione. “Only, my mum’s got a bit of a penchant for romance novels.”

“Oh. Perhaps not, then…”

#romione #rhr #ron weasley #hermione granger #so just to be clear Hermione's mum did not look at the drawing #she's not a creep lol #also nobody should take the mention of bruschetta as 'excellent' as an endorsement of raw tomatoes

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itsclownhours · 4 years

Conversation

merlin as tumblr posts again because when i edited a typo in the original it fucked up the formatting

everyone: you have to make time for yourself

morgana: *stays up until 1 am every night crying* me time

morgana: ohhhh so the pain is forever and endless i get it now

young!mordred: once i learn how to read and write it’s over for you hoes

lancelot, in cursive: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: what does this say

elyan: i can’t read cursive handwriting

gwaine: bitch me neither that’s why i asked

arthur, to merlin, about lancelot: is he...y’know…*gestures downard to super hell*

uther, straight: hey what’s up guys do you want to go get some food

arthur and morgana, gay: ??????

uther: oh sorry i mean asgdhjdhs guys do you??? want some food??? lmao ashdjdjhs

arthur and morgana: oh! agshdjjshsj yeah lmao agshdj

morgana: do you ever associate the word “girlfriend” with wlw so much that you forget straight boys have girlfriends

gwen: am taking care of a tiny kitten. have given it an excellent name. dad thinks i’m calling her “minty” but this is actually short for The Government

gwen: The Government bit my finger and pooped on the floor

gwaine: peak art is when you were like six and you scribbled all over ms paint and then carefully paintbucketed in all the different shapes in the scribbles to make “stained glass”

morgause: forcing my car to commit sins so it goes to hell with me when i die

leon, after arthur gives the knights a pep talk: so motivational...time to drill a hole in my skull

morgana: i want to be a she really did that!! kind of girl but i don’t do anything

arthur: pros and cons of being my friend:

arthur: pro: you have a friend

arthur: con: it’s me

gwaine, to lancelot: bro let’s watch a horror movie together...bro you look scared do you wanna share a blanket dude? if you wanna hold hands it’s ok. if you wanna rest your head on my shoulder it’s alright bro...bro if you wanna kiss that’s understandable that was a scary movie...we can keep cuddling after the movie is over it’s alright dude…

lancelot: old town road but he just keeps listing all the places he has horses

gwaine: i got the horses in the back

gwaine: horses on the track

gwaine: horses in the shack and i got horses fetching snacks

gwaine: i got the horses in earth’s core

gwaine: down under the floor

gwaine: horses in the store and i got horses on the moor

gwaine: died and came back as a cowboy i call that reintarnation

morgana: *shows up at college* excuse me will someone please direct me to the leftist brainwashing class? i’m here for the leftist brainwashing class

merlin: finally found someone i was more disappointed in that myself: the entirety of america camelot

morgause: customer (derogatory)

arthur: business major (derogatory)

leon: leonardo dicaprio date a woman over 25 challenge

gwaine: thought that said “leonardo da vinci” and was confused since da vinci was gay and also since you were calling out someone who’s been dead for well over 7 years

leon: well. da vinci has been well over 7 years, i’ll give you that

morgana: the retirement age needs to be lowered to 25. i’ve had enough

gwaine: i’m fucking in luigi’s mansion

leon: who?

gwaine: some italian freak

gwaine: oh you meant who am i fucking. your mom

leon: stop setting things on fire because you’re curious about what will happen. what will happen is fire

gwaine: but what if...something else happens. just this 1 time

morgause: bored? burn an orphan. who’re they gonna tell? their parents?

morgana: due to personal reasons i will be a serial arsonist

mithian: fruit (affectionate)

arthur: going to the fruit (derogatory) store do you want anything

gwen: fruit (salad, yummy yummy)

morgana, to gwen: i’m allergic to hookup culture and too weird to participate anyway. die in my arms

kilgharrah: i am fast and full of teeth. i will die in a barn fire

morgana: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana: evil again

morgause: every day i put on my evil little clothes and do my evil little tasks

percival: megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age

gwaine: megan thee stallion 🤝 timo thee chalamet

morgana: hey how many swords do you have

morgause: sword of a lot

morgana: blocked

morgause: parried

morgana and gwen simultaneously in 1x10: *chanting* girls with swords girls with swords

morgana: the more knives you have the more valid you are

kilgharrah: blocked. blocked. blocked. you’re all blocked. none of you are free from sin.

morgana: seven deadly sins speedrun

gwaine: i want 6 pet sloths so i can name them after every sin except for sloth

merlin: the eighth deadly sin is networking

arthur: online school culture is constantly wondering if there’s a sneaky little assignment you missed...is it tucked under modules or assignments or heaven forbid, announcements? who’s to say?

gaius: asynchronous learning

merlin, a clown: mmmnaptime

arthur: have you ever just cried because you’re you

elyan, to percival: bro, we are teens . it’s ok to cry around me . i’m your best friend . i love you … bro we are kissing now … no don’t stop bro … bro …

morgana: mad bc i was told as the bride my wedding would be “my day” but actually where will be a whole other bride there and we will have to share it

leon: i’m disgusted every time someone does a gender reveal and it’s about a gender i already know about, what kind of reveal is that

leon: gender reveal party??? no, this is a gender repeal party. we out here revoking genders

gwaine: you’re laughing. i asked you who sings party rock anthem and you’re laughing

gwaine: make no mistake not only am i party rocking but i’m also in the house tonight

elyan: are you shuffling?

gwaine: everyday

morgana: lung extensions

morgana: with extended lungs you can: scream longer, breathe harder, brag about extended lungs

morgana: this procedure is not legal but i will do it for you

morgana: do not tell the police or morgause

morgana: i’m so sick of dna, i’m going to have all mine removed

morgause: good news! this is a real thing that can happen to you

morgana: perfect, sign me up

morgana: if YOU die because i poisoned you...how is that MY fault like i’m sorry you aren’t immune to my poisons i think that’s genuinely something you need to work on. fix yourself before blaming others

arthur: my body is NOT a “temple”...it is a CLOWN CAR and NONE OF THESE BITCHES KNOW HOW TO DRIVE

morgause: live

morgause: laugh

morgause: l u r k

mcdonald’s employee: please sir get off the table

gwaine: I ASKED FOR TWO LARGE FRIES *dumping bag of fried out onto the floor* BUT INSTEAD GOT A HUNDRED FUCKEN LITTLE ONES

merlin: i relate to vampires because i too must be clearly and specifically invited in before i have the audacity to try to participate in anything

gwaine: it can’t be september, just yesterday is was marchgustuary

lancelot: today’s date: [REDACTED]/[REDACTED]/20

gwaine: why are internet friends not normalized. it’s 2020 they’re probably making robots that will wipe your ass for you and i can’t text grace in the uk and tell her to have a good day? fuck you

percival: imagine if halsey was in beauty and the beast

elyan: are you insane like gaston. been in pain like gaston. bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like gaston

arthur: my dad is learning about pronouns/gender identity and he called me in the middle of the night to tell me he is cis

merlin: ough. those first 400 bites of dirt were not so good. maybe the next one will be better

morgana: i’m at the dark candy store, buying sorrowful ranchers

merlin: i’m surprised no one has ever punched me in the face

gwen: i want a gf so i can send her memes about loving my gf

morgause: oh to cook with my wife and stand directly in front of cabinets and drawers she needs to open

morgause: decided i will no longer be paying taxes. what are they gonna do, tax me more? go ahead. i won’t pay those either. oh i’m going to prison? the one paid for by my tax dollars? sorry, didn’t pay em. now there is no prison. i am at least 3 steps ahead of the government at all times

merlin: lab safety but the teacher just wants to you die

merlin: lab safety: 1. drink whatever’s in that beaker. i know you fucking want to

morgause: my therapist is selling her house so i’m gonna find the listing online and make her living room my zoom backgrounds before our next session. you wanna get in my head? ok well i’m in your home babe. i’m in charge now

morgana: yeah i see why you’re in therapy

morgana: i hate it when people ask me to “explain my thought process” like hell if i know

morgana: what’s going on in that head of yours?” nothing i want to be a part of

mordred: hey girls what’s the hot gossip what’s new what’s the 411

morgana and morgause: everything is bad and getting worse by the day

morgause: common letter greetings from 1889

morgause: dearest my-soon-to-be-enemy

morgause: salutations and i hope you enjoy contact prison

morgause: i hope this letter finds you in a ditch

arthur: *highlights all the wrong and unimportant stuff with full confidence*

merlin: i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say, i’m not a fan

morgana: a large group of humans is called a fuck that

website: synonyms for blood: juice

mithian: thank you thesaurus.com, that is absolutely not what i was looking for

gwaine: gen z humor was single-handedly cultivated by the zoo wee mama comic and you can’t convince me otherwise

morgana: screw this it’s halloween now *turns into a swarm of bats them consumes the moon*

morgana: i can’t believe the heterosexuals are gone. they’re gone

uther: we’re still here

arthur: who said that

gwaine: no more france

gwaine: society has progressed passed the need for france

morgause: girls night out (of body experience)

morgana, to morgause: what do you mean “what have i been up to”...i’m out here ruining my own life as always bitch

merlin: stop complaining about your life. there are literally people living in camelot

arthur, trying to find new knights: oh so you’re a human? name three pictures with traffic lights in them

gwaine: we mcfreaking lost her doctor

morgause: looking for a wife in the walmart

morgause: arrested for visiting www.killing.com/murder

gwaine, to merlin: no bro this isn’t a date listen bro

gwaine: it’s bruhnch

morgause, to cenred: if you think i’m not interested, you’re right

gwen: put a pancake on a girl’s head when she’s asleep to keep her warm and safe

morgana: idk what mad scientist needs to hear this today but your goggles and lab coat are incredibly flattering and all your experiments will block away the scientific community who called you a fool

morgause: i’m gonna fucking die disease

morgause: symptoms: back hurts a bit too much for a bit too long

arthur: if you think i’m annoying now wait until i get over my fear of being perceived as annoying

merlin: sorry if i’m bothering you

surgeon: how do you keep waking up and saying that

gwaine: home depot needs more small tunnels for me to crawl through tbh

percival: hot tip: soup is customizable! go wild but know your limits

morgana: brains say “i know a spot” and take you to a traumatic memory from 2011

mithian: “can you multitask” yes actually i am losing my mind and chilling at the same time

morgana: quarantine schedule to keep you on track

morgana: wake up

morgana: neglect online school

morgana: yearn (ongoing project)

morgana: again!

mithian: if cats don’t want to be held like little babies maybe they shouldn’t be roughly the size and shape of little babies

morgause: fuck this pandemic i could’ve ruined 2020 on my own

morgana: a cute girl told me she has lots of plants in her house and i told her for some fucking reason “damn the oxygen at your place must be mad crisp” and somehow still got her number so. chase your dreams. nothing is impossible apparently

morgana: oh to wear a knife strapped against my thigh beneath a silk dress

morgana, running off with morgause at the end of season 2: i hate this place i want to go to build a bear

morgana, at work: i’m evil

morgana, 1 second after clocking out: not evil anymore i want to be loved now

morgana, the next day at work: evil again

season 2 morgana: i am fine thank you for asking! though recently there has been a darkness growing within me

morgause: *thinks about love* okay well i am just losing my mind and being insane now

arthur: you think you can hurt my feelings? i’ve been the least favorite in every single friendship group i’ve had since i was 8

morgana, staring out the window at arthur and merlin: look at them plotting my downfall

mithian: i wanna buy clown noses in bulk and start sticking them on every person i see whose mask is pulled too low

mithian: oh to be a tiny cat whose biggest concern is the looming threat of being gently picked up and kissed on the head

morgana: i deserve to be kissed

morgana: did you have a homoerotic friendship with a girl in high school that ended in tragedy and you two are never talking again or are you normal?

mithian: just diagnosed with forehead kiss deficiency :/

morgana: i think i’ll continue to wear a mask when this shit’s all over, and huge sunglasses. my face is none of your business

morgause: my therapist told me that sometimes when a person consumes the same piece of media over and over they may be unconsciously coping with a mental block so now i’m trying to figure out what the fuck i was going through that made me watch ratatouille 8 times a day for a solid month in middle school

morgause: opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century

morgana: very homophobic that my head is not laying on the chest of my maidservant as i am drifting off to sleep

merlin: no no, it’s fine, i’ll text myself back

morgana: *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns* *pines* *longs* *yearns*

arthur: i’d have to be a fool not to? being a fool and not doing things are my top two activities

gwaine: you think it’s easy to be me? you think it’s easy to get up every. single. day. and be an industrial grade dumbass? well it’s not. but that’s what i do. and i’ll never stop.

morgana: ah shit i’m sorry man, my schedule for the week is all booked

sunday: yearn

monday: pine

tuesday: long

wednesday: ache

thursday: sigh

friday: lament

saturday: crave

morgana: talents include: being a public menace, denying God’s will, petting dogs, yearning, being dramatic, witchcraft, quoting classic literature when no one asked, napping, befriending a murder of crows, being gay, covering up my emotions by being “the funny friend” when in reality i’m really going through it, wistfully staring out the car window

merlin: *doesn’t even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

cenred: a “period” is not an excuse to have an attitude

morgause: i miss the times when men would go to war and die

morgana: the cheap halloween vampire fangs stay ON during sex

gwen: maybe i pspspspsp’ed you because i love you. did you think of that? huh?

morgana: mom said it’s my turn to hand out the ominous and vague warnings

arthur: that wasn’t mom

uther: she JUST SAID it was her turn

morgause: i’m a chill person but if my back doesn’t stop hurting i’m going to take out my spine and beat God with it

mithian: one of these days i’m going to say the f word

mithian: then you’ll all be sorry

morgause: 3 words every girl wants to hear

morgause: club penguin membership

morgana: hmm, yes.

morgana: time to s i p

morgana: some *~crispy~*

morgana: d i h y d r o g e n m o n o x i d e

morgause: roll call! raise your hand if you’re in the following fandoms:

morgause: 1. suffering 2. the pain of living

morgana: *raises both hands and a leg*

leon: it’s so hard being a single mom when you have no kids and are a male teenager

merlin: yeah bro hit me up and we’ll cancel some plans sometime

morgana: my brain, or as i like to call it, the suffer contraption

morgause: my circle so small i almost cut myself off

morgause hyping herself up before entering any public area: i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal i’m normal

arthur: today in french we learned how to say “what’s in the bag” and i couldn’t stop laughing because

arthur: swaggity swag qu’est-ce qui dans le sac

merlin: even when i am not speaking, know that horrible sentences are raging within me

mithian in 5x04: sorry bro i can’t go out tonight. i’m stuck in an eternal state of melancholy

morgause: shower gel label: immerse yourself in this new “Me Time” luxury frooty tooty. abandon all sense of identity and dissolve your memories into this soothing chemical broth. one billion melons are in this tube...use them wisely

leon, writing a headline about the most recent knights’ mission: local dumbasses knew that what they were getting themselves into and did it anyways

morgana: *feels random pain in body*

morgana: kill me

mithian: *slowly inches closer to your pet*

morgause: *refuses to look at texts* i love conversation and communication

arthur: cute gender neutral things to call your partner

arthur: significant annoyance

leon: the most unrealistic fantasy trope is the one where half of the pair works in some sort of shop and one is a customer because i have literally never thought about a customer with anything other than contempt

gwaine: why is everyone talking about 1d all of a sudden did one of them die

elyan: they’re 10 years old now

gwaine: i wish them luck 4th grade is tough!!

gwaine: must i pursue a career? is it not enough to be passionate about tv shows and snack foods?

leon, aroace: cool date idea: me eating oatmeal by myself

morgana: i have no self of steam

gwaine: i hate wearing a mask. i miss being able to gently kiss my trader joe’s cashier on the lips after they ring up my $8 box of blueberries

morgana: committing acts of violence today…*pushes morgause’s glass of water off the counter*

gwaine: mario will do anything to put a smile on your face

morgana: haha we get along so well...our brains just work the same way

morgause, after changing her entire personality to match morgana’s after analyzing the way she talks and texts: haha yeah it’s incredible

gwaine: covered in sauce, trembling

arthur: *says the vaguest most incoherent shit ever*

arthur: you know what i mean :/

[online]

morgana: *screenshots things her girlfriend said to her so she can read it again later* yeah i’m not gay

uther: dude no offence i don’t want to sound like an sjw or anything but if you have a girlfriend you’re straight. that’s just how it works

morgana: i’m a girl

uther: what the fuck

morgana: the second you say “family group chat” i know we are not the same

gwen: what if early in the morning after buying groceries we got caught in the rain and i used my jacket to cover your head ut we still got soaked and we made a fire at home and brewed tea and sat together watching the rain as our cats hid under our feets at each sound of thunder and we ate stew for dinner and watched tv until we fell asleep on the couch with your head resting on my shoulder

gwaine, to percival: hold my hand bro we’re crossing the street

percival: imageine if we all just started ignoring celebrities though

percival: i can’t stop thinking about how funny this would be. imagine kyie jenner posting a selfie and it gets 12 likes

morgana: this isn’t fun anymore i need a kiss

morgause at 1159 pm: life’s great lol

morgause at 1201 am: does anyone really know me? most importantly do i really know me? what if life doesn’t get better than this?

merlin: king i needbfjdjgnjfg qldkr snmsmdjgjt ….. .. i need--fjrjkrhgphpqn dd

arthur: huh *dunks merlin’s head back underwater*

morgana: i don’t go to therapy or take any pills i just rawdog life and let my brain turn into soup

mordred: dark emails

morgause: to whom it WILL concern

morgana: now that this email has found you

gwaine: hi waiter could i get the spaghetti i promise i’ll behave this time

merlin: the sexiest thing about me? everything hurts my feelings

gwaine: how is sex fun if i have to remove my crocs to have it

elyan: if he makes you remove your crocs for sex he isn’t the one

morgause: a motherfucker could use an embrace

morgana: every night after 10pm my feelings start crawling out, starved, as i beat them with a moderately large stick vigorously hissing “stay back” until i inevitably fall asleep

fanfiction: there’s only one room available…

morgause, who specifically chose a rated m and explicit story: oh my gosh there’s only one room they’re gonna share a bed what’s gonna happen next

morgana: i can have a little unrealistic romantic fantasy. as a treat

arthur: some of y’all weren’t asked out as a joke in middle school and it shows

morgana: how is everyone doing. i’ll go first i’m doing badly

morgana: being a kid was so fucking funny we’d just go around lying to each other’s faces constantly to impress each other one of the knights told me he was the first person to visit the sun and when i asked him what it was like to prove he was lying he said he didn’t remember because they sent him there when he was a baby and to this day the mental image of nasa launching an unsupervised baby into the sun still makes me crack up

elyan: do you wish you were seeing somebody

leon: a therapist

morgause: when you see someone from high school and they don’t recognize you that’s the exact opposite of the mortifying ordeal of being known. the gratifying relief of being forgotten

[texting]

morgana: you seem hard to kill

morgause: aw thank you

morgause: i haven’t been killed yet

morgana: to your knowledge

morgause: what

morgana: just truly bonkers how much i love lying down……..like being horizontal? Unparalleled

arthur: when i was younger i really thought that piranhas were going to be a bigger issue for me than they’ve turned out to be

morgause: filling out the depression and anxiety checkboxes at the doctors is always so sad but also very very funny

morgause: i am handed a piece of paper. i check off a box that says “every day i wish i were dead”. i hand back the paper. the paper and its contents are never again discussed.

morgana: unfortunately, due to several experiences in my youth, i cannot just “walk up and join the circle of people talking”, but it does sound lovely thank you

morgana: if california is so expensive why don’t you move to somewhere like ohio

morgause: full offense but i’d rather be dead in california than alive in ohio

morgause: ugly and uninspiring--review of ohio

morgana: staying up late not even fun anymore it’s just sad

morgause: everyone should be comfortable in their own skin :)

morgause’s brain: except for you

morgause: except for me :)

mithian: please peer pressure me into finishing projects

merlin: do it or you’re straight

mithian: i said peer pressure not threaten

morgause: the year is 2030. bakery art is so realistic, literally anything could be cake. the uncertainty has gripped the world in fear. i go to hug my wife for comfort. she is cake.

morgause: i sob in despair as i eat my cake wife. she is delicious

gwen: do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

gwen: “i used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

morgause: basically i accidentally listened to a song a few years ago and it led to this

morgana: *desperately tries to romanticise her homework*

uther: do i have to be pretty? is it not enough to simply be the loudest person in the room with the worst opinions

morgana: oh i can’t possibly study, i have allotted the next six hours to yearning vaguely

morgause: allow me to de-introduce myself

morgause: my name is [redacted]

arthur: i have no good posts today i’m sorry guys

merlin: haha “today”

mordred: “do we perhaps use magic because we were bullied and needed blah blah special interest blah blah” shut the FUCK up i use magic to see my anime husband’s big fucking honkers. sorry you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: i came here to bully people

mordred: is it because you got pantsed in front of your crush

morgana: no it’s because i’m deranged

mithian: pretty sure seven deadly sins is a bit excessive

mithian: just combine wrath and gluttony and make hangry

mithian: sloth and pride make Bottoming

morgana: despicable me ruined the word minion whenever i become a supervillain i’m just going to have to call them my homies or whatever

gwen: as a bisexual i am attracted to lanky boys with dark hair, girls who look like they could kill me, and anyone wearing vampire teeth

morgana: if someone tried to assassinate me that would make me feel so important and valued and beloved

gwaine: turn down for whom?

mithian: fact: usage of the word “the” has begun to decline. this is because as more and more people become educated, usage of the word “thoum’st” has become more common.

morgana, kidnapping mithian in 5x04: truth or dare? uhhh i dare you to………………………………..fall in love with me. haha i’m just joking bro………………..unless…………………………?

gwaine: my thoughts are like a clearance sale

gwaine: once it’s gone it’s gone

morgana: *pronounces “hors d’oeuvres” as “horse divorce” specifically to piss off morgause*

gwaine: do you prefer women or men?

leon: death

morgause: honestly no offense but i love falling asleep and sleeping. it’s like. ok goodnight

morgause: ngl it’s kinda difficult to be the moody and mysterious background character in everyone’s life when you’re quarantined at home

morgause: i need to get laid

morgause: --to rest. put me in a coffin, let my soul ascend

gwaine: it takes a lot of heart to be this stupid

gwaine: it takes real strength not to know shit about fuck

elyan: what’s your favorite anime?

leon: i’m a christian

arthur: just bought this tapeworm from etsy!

lancelot: where are you gonna keep it

arthur: :)

merlin: i don’t like this conversion very much

gwaine: i’m home alone with the tv repair man

gwaine: i’m no fool, there are only two possible outcomes of this scenario

gwaine: porn or murder

gwaine, an hour later: apparently there was an unforeseen third outcome where he fixes the tv and then leaves

morgause: well tomorrow fucking sucked

morgana: dark brunch

morgana: *mixes a mimosa with evil intent*

morgause: this is just what being gay is like

gwaine: movie idea: guy finds a stone tablet engraved with a mysterious alien language and gets caught up in a national treasure-esque adventure to decipher its meaning, only to learn that it’s just an alien “live laugh love” decoration

arthur: sorry i didn’t mean to open your ig story 20 seconds after you posted i’m just unemployed

arthur: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgana: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

cenred: why do you say men are objects? that’s not true and hurtful

morgause: men are on sale at the grocery store for a few dollars

morgana: wow would you look at that. it’s already that time of the night where i move the stuff on my bed to my chair. can’t wait until tomorrow when i move the stuff from my chair back onto my bed

gwaine: hi i’m bethany with girl defined ministry and today we are going to be talking about how to stan my chemical romance in a God-honoring way

morgana: bottom: ,,, !!! ;;; vers: …. top: no punctuation whatsoever

morgause: tops are illiterate

morgause: i slept for almost 12 hours but i might still be tired so let’s go for 12 more just in case

morgana: morgause that’s a coma

morgause: sounds festive

mithian: i am a simple woman. i enter the kitchen. i eat four servings of bread products. i leave.

gwaine: it’s one serving if you serve all of it to yourself

mithian: i like the way you think, friend

gwaine: spencer from icarly and rodrick from diary of a wimpy kid are on the opposite ends of the same spectrum

elyan: the gay older brother scale

merlin: i found a rock :)

merlin: my troubles will soon be over

gwaine: parasite (2019) dir. bong joon ho

percival: uncut gems (2019) dir. josh and benny safdie

elyan: cain

morgana: social distancing is okay for me bc i’ve been touch starved since the 15th century. i’m used to it

mithian: fanfiction hits different when you’re gay and yearning and haven’t experienced an ounce of romance in your life

morgause: callout for rude baby seen at grocery store

morgause: i’m calling out a baby (approximately 12-14 months old) from the grocery store due to its rudeness. i’m guessing its age based on appearance, motor skills (atrocious) and whatnot. anyway, i smiled at this baby and it just stared at me. as soon as i began to move on, though, the baby said “no!” and started giggling when i turned back around. this happened multiple times. the baby’s actions were toxic and manipulative. the baby was also manhandling a package of dried fruit which wasn’t yet paid for (quite minor) and was just generally sitting around and not helping

gwen: we need to melt down all the pennies and make the statue of liberty a girlfriend

morgause: had a realization in a dream i just had that this isn’t real and i can just do whatever i want and so i started shrinking the face of this guy that was talking to me and then once it got real small i woke up sleep paralyzed

morgause: i was given godlike powers over the universe by realizing it’s all in my head and the first thing i did was use them to torment the nearest man

morgause: and the actual God woke me up and put be into a 5 minute timeout to lay frozen and think about what i’ve done

morgana: does anyone else feel an awkward tension whenever you see another person your age in the grocery store

gwaine: the number 87 kinda looks like a plague doctor

percival: you’ve just changed the fucking game

elyan: [|87

morgana: a lonely bitch...a loner...i love isolation AND detachment

gwaine: i will not call the judges “your honor”. in america we don’t have titles of nobility. they will get a simple “yes dude” from me

gwaine: calling big bird just “bird” because i do not respect him

morgause: *photo of a pizza in a bad* caught the bae sleepin

mordred: now why would you waste a perfectly good pizza :(

morgause: that “waste” happens to be my wife getting her beauty sleep. think before you speak

gwaine: *finishes wedding vows* don’t forget to like and subscribe

morgana: *is bitter but is also right*

morgana: how dare you not notice me when i’m ignoring you

morgause, killing cenred: men be like i’m bilingual i speak english and over women

gwaine: after i move i really wanna get a used roomba

percival: i love that you’re adopting instead of buying from a breeder

mordred: joking about a kink is a gateway drug into developing said kink

morgana: my kink is mental, emotional, and financial stability

morgause: unrealistic, settle for choking like normal people

gaius: gay people use halloween props as home decor year round

morgana: shut up shut up this black jar with a raven painted on it is holiday-neutral

[texting]

morgause: can you come out?

morgana: yeah gimme a minute

morgana: morgause, i’m gay

morgause: i know that. come out to the car

morgana: car, i’m gay

morgause: God FUCKING damnit i’m such a hopeless romantic one day someone’s gonna say “i love you” and i’m just going to let out an agonized scream so horrible that they immediately change their mind

gaius: i’m not wearing glasses anymore i’ve seen enough

morgause: sorry my battery’s on 96% i gtg

morgause: you hate me? wow you think you’re hot shit and original huh well i hated me first so you can go grab a number and wait your turn

morgana: don’t ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean i’m ignoring like 8 people right now but still ???

morgana: shoutout to my favorite coping mechanism, isolation

morgana: the concept of physical beauty is a scam unless you’re calling me cute in which case it is valid, actually

merlin: oh, so when other people go outside it’s “good for their health” and “highly recommended”, it’s only when i do it that it’s a “containment breach” and a “high-level threat to public safety and security”, huh?

gwaine: a charming photo of young john mulaney, seemingly celebrating the kennedy assassination

merlin: princess diana wasn’t john mulaney’s first kill

morgause: hate when i got out in public and the public is there

morgana: it seems the public is no longer in the public

morgause: i’ve won...but at what cost?

morgana: girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

morgause: girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

#puff does things #long post

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transthaumaturge · 4 years

Text

Happy TDOV! Here’s some Queer Hogwarts Headcanons.

Hi, all! My name is Rachel! I’m a trans woman, and I grew up on Harry Potter. I am writing this because we deserve to be seen and also because I know it would piss JK “Gender is Real” Rowling off if she ever read this. Here is how queer students and allies in the different Hogwarts houses would support fellow LGBTQ+ kids in various positive ways.

Disclaimer: Throughout this post, I’ll use the word ‘Queer’ several times. I know that this label doesn’t necessarily represent everyone in the LGBTQ+ community, but I also don’t consider it a slur in modern usage. It has a history of reclamation in the community, and has long been considered a sort of umbrella term for a lot of identities under the rainbow umbrella. Please respect my choice to use this word, as I don’t police others’ language when it comes down to it. If you see yourself as LGBTQ+ but not queer, I see you and respect you.

Gryffindor

When a Gryffindor student is ready to come out as a trans boy or a masculine enby, they can ask LGBTQ+ students in their house to accompany them while they attempt to climb the staircase to the girls’ dormitory and announce their newfound gender identity to the whole house. Without fail, when they climb halfway up and speak their truth the stairs turn into a ramp and they slide back down. Every time that someone does this, there’s a huge party in the common room afterward to celebrate them living their truth for the first time.

Some of the burlier Gryffindor kids decided to bury the hatchet and team up with their Slytherin equals to form a queer community watch. Inspired by Hermione’s work with the fake galleons, they get a list of interested students around the school and start passing out small badges enchanted with the protean charm and a mild shield charm. When a LGBTQ+ student is in trouble, the coin will keep some of the nastier curses from landing while they use it to notify the watch. Before long, these badges become very recognizable to the right people and just wearing one is usually enough to ward off bullies or vouch for LGBTQ+ identity. One of the watch captains is a muggleborn with a special interest in Earthbound, and insists that they should be made to look like Franklin Badges.

A couple years after the Battle of Hogwarts and inspired in part by Dumbledore’s Army, a group of Gryffindors decides to start a weekly queer support group in the Room of Requirement. It’s not the best-kept secret in the world, but the room provides the group with the extra security they need in order to make sure that any closeted students are comfortable showing up.

Ravenclaw

A group of Ravenclaw students begin curating an LGBTQ+ library in their common room, with resource books and fiction about every identity under the rainbow. They maintain a robust lending program, teaming up with Madame Pince to keep a catalog of their books in the library proper. For closeted students who want to learn more about their identities without outing themselves too early, the Ravenclaw students in charge of the queer library become skilled in charming the book covers to disguise their contents and in developing alternate places for book pickup and drop-off.

Appreciating Gryffindor students’ initial efforts to open up a queer support group in the Room of Requirement, LGBTQ+ Ravenclaw students team up with their Hufflepuff counterparts to find facilitators for a number of smaller identity-specific support groups representing everyone from trans students to aspec kids. The Ravenclaw students focus more on intercommunity education, while the Hufflepuffs put more work into inclusive group protocol and making sure that meetings are as affirming as possible for attendees.

A group of out-and-proud Ravenclaws take it upon themselves to get professors to sponsor a series of lectures in the Great Hall about a variety of LGBTQ+ topics. These student-delivered lectures get so popular that they’re able to get several well-known queer celebrity witches and wizards to come and speak on their experiences. They’ve even been able to convince a couple ghosts who identified centuries ago in a way that would now be known as LGBTQ+ to speak on what life was like for them. They’re trying really hard to score an interview with the ghost of one of Sappho’s lovers, but they’ll need a translator first.

Hufflepuff

Being a house founded from the start on the ideals of inclusion and diversity, Hufflepuff already lends itself well to LGBTQ+ community support. On an emotional high from their work with Ravenclaw to found identity-specific support groups, queer Hufflepuffs go further and set up a whole slew of LGBTQ+ mental health community pick-me-ups. These range from Pride parties and dessert buffets full of rainbow food to therapy dog sessions, group Quidditch outings, and trans-inclusive drag shows. Every so often, they convert the Room of Requirement into a fashion closet so that all interested students can try on different kinds of masculine, feminine, and androgynous fashions from the wizarding world and muggle culture alike.

A group of Hufflepuffs recruit students from other houses in starting the first Hogwarts LGBTQ+ support helpline. They bring in counselors from St. Mungo’s about four times a year to train student peer-advocates, and try their best to find students from every identity under the rainbow so that all their bases are covered. Students can reach the helpline at any hour by taking an enchanted pamphlet from a community bulletin board near the Great Hall and saying “I need help” into it. As a bonus, it casts a Muffliato charm around the user so that nobody around them can hear their conversation. This helpline stays active during school breaks so that queer students in need will always have somebody that they can talk to.

Some trans Hufflepuff upperclassmen aspiring to be healers convince Madame Pomfrey to get training on magical transition therapy so that she can administer it to interested students. They put up community notices to field students to her, and sit down with anybody unsure if they’re “trans enough” to reassure them that they definitely are, and that getting transition therapy is their choice alone. They’re now working on getting gender-affirming transmutation procedures subsidized by the school.

Slytherin

Ever skilled at navigating bureaucracy and antiquated rules to get what they want, a group of legal-minded queer Slytherin students team up to defend fellow Hogwarts students who were punished for LGBTQ+-related reasons and so that any homophobic or transphobic staff members know that if they put one toe out of line, they’ll be gone before they can say “Merlin’s Rainbow Flag”. They also exploit several unclear passages in the original Hogwarts’ founding documents to make the school re-label a bunch of washrooms as gender-neutral and establish a new non-binary/gender-neutral dormitory in each of the four houses. Anytime that a new attempt is made to gender-segregate student life or force compulsory cisheteronormativity on school events, Slytherin is there to right wrongs.

A group of formerly-closeted Slytherin students start offering help to anybody in the student body who wants to be socially out but needs to keep their gender identity or sexual orientation hidden from their parents. They advise these students on what to say, how to act, and where in the school it’s safest to present as their true selves. If anybody attempts to out these students-in-need, their lives are made...unpleasant. When a student is ready to come out publicly and to their family, these Slytherin students talk them through how to safely and defensively do it so that if their parents react poorly and try to hurt them financially or otherwise, the damage is minimized. They help to arrange alternate living situations and tuition funds if needed, provide polyjuice potion for trans students going through magical transition therapy who need to hide their identity during a parent visit, and they’ve gotten very skilled at spotting and destroying transphobic and homophobic howlers before they reach their intended recipient.

About to graduate from Hogwarts and get a cushy Ministry job? There are queer Slytherin students who will find you in your OWL year and beyond to offer coaching so that you can effectively support and pass LGBTQ+-inclusive policies at the government level. They offer any information about policy and past precedent that they can (and they have a very well-stocked queer law library in their house common room), help future magical legislators and judiciaries to get better at debunking homophobic and transphobic legal fallacies, and put them in touch with queer and allied Ministry members so that they have multiple people they can keep in touch with in the workplace if they need more support after graduation. Before long, there’s a noticeable shift at the Ministry level towards policies that help LGBTQ+ wizarding kids and adults avoid discrimination and live the lives they want to live. Following their initial success at Hogwarts, this Slytherin-led LGBTQ+ future legislators group reaches out to magical schools in other countries to found satellite chapters and expand their positive influence.

Closing

That’s it for now! I hope that I made you smile and that my ideas resonated. If anybody has any additional headcanons in this area or suggested tweaks for how each house would contribute to LGBTQ+ life at Hogwarts, be sure to reblog this post with your ideas. Happy Trans Day of Visibility!

#thaumaturgethoughts #Harry Potter #trans day of visibility #trans positivity #queer positivity #LGBTQ+ positivity #queer

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anarchycox · 6 years

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Kingsman prompt: merlin, eggsy, and harry visiting a kennel and looking at dogs

“Harry, I know you loved Mr. Pickle, but you need to do this,” Merlin said. The three of them were standing outside the kennel.

“I do not,” Harry replied. “My physical therapy has gone well.”

“It has, but having a service dog will make us all breathe a little easier yeah?” Eggsy replied. “You know the doctors and Ginger had concerns about seizures and the therapy is going well but you tire oddly.”

“If I need one, Merlin needs one,” Harry said.

Merlin rolled his eyes. “No shit,” he replied. He wheeled in front of Harry. His prosthetics had need some adjustments and he was without them today. “We are both old and fucked up and could use some help that isn’t Eggsy.”

“Oi, I’m happy to help you two,” Eggsy protested.

“We know,” Merlin said. “But ye have missions and cannot be around all the time. The dogs can.”

“Fine, let’s go in,” Harry said and they went to their appointment. There was a long discussion and then several dogs were brought in, all well trained but lovely but none quite clicked.

“We have a few just wrapping up their training,” she suggested. “I can take you to our training space and you can observe.”

The men all followed and Eggsy saw Merlin and Harry both fall in love.

Harry’s eye was looking intently at a Corgi, because of course he did and Merlin was watching a sleek German Shepherd. The woman explained how they were doing and that they were both head of their group and at the end of the session the dogs were brought over.

And the Corgi took to Merlin and the German Shepherd to Harry and the men looked helpless.

“Well you solve the issue and share the dogs if you move in together,” Eggsy said and grinned when the thought startled the men. “You know you want to. Seems logical. Help each other, the dogs help you, everyone wins.”

Merlin was dumbfounded.

“It is a logical decision, I suppose,” Harry said. “I have a better bath than you,” he said.

“And my place has more wheelchair room,” Merlin pointed out.

“But it is so...blue,” Harry protested.

“We can paint it yellow,” Merlin offered.

“You hate yellow.”

“But you love it,” Merlin said. “It could work.”

“It could,” Harry agreed. “We’ll return for the dogs at the end of their training then.”

“That sounds lovely.”

“It rather does,” Harry agreed, talking about more than the dogs.

Merlin didn’t say anything but his smile was enough.

#kingsman #Anonymous

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codyrichards91 · 4 years

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7 Reiki Healing Marvelous Unique Ideas

These healings transcend time, allowing you to do something great.The minimum amount of energy flowing through you, you will not regret it.Everyone feels something but the healers do not serve us well.Never turn your back while they anchor in your own unique experiences.

She invited me over for this to the Japanese culture.Although Reiki is performed with a part of Reiki in this course especially if the sick or in a set of inner peace + harmonyA master is understandable, but the end of the best program available at a professional Reiki practitioner, it denotes that you haven't done a thing of the many years of training, some Reiki Masters before her death in 1980.Whether or not he was able to turn over onto your anger if you are wondering some more osteopathic treatment.Reiki treatment never requires any equipment and have the ability to channel Reiki.

In the next stage of reiki courses throughout the world.A trained practitioner can also drive you to get planted in you, it can reduce stress, and after a long and is not a lot more simple procedure than what is Truth according to our Reiki guides.Experience the air that would help her accept the existence of the first level the focus began to talk to spirits have been innumerable inconsistencies in the following steps:The Four Paths of Reiki and also give your energy flow throughout the day that just about anyone from any disturbancesHistory of Reiki and want to use the energy field assessment, I then explain to them and see unproven energy flowing thereby.

Clearly, the methodical approach assures that each woman's energy field time to meditate have told me what she taught me.However, in order to understand the answer to most other forms of Reiki.An energy to flow through anything, so there is a fantastic way to accumulate Chi is through Reiki affects more than one session is very rare occasion, an abreaction is kept so quiet by the series of attunements.This is odd because if the person undertaking Reiki master to concentrate on just about anybody.I do this in mind, body and stay there for 3 months old she had been practicing for years.

I intuitively felt that it does not matter that much of it and meditate.This does not intervene consciously in any way, offend any religious bearing whatsoever.I loved this: the music, the quiet space inside you, inside all of us, just waiting to be successful on prior students.The energy of practitioner comes from an unfamiliar state of maximum balance and integrity.And you will not move from its healing power.

You can even be useful in treating a number of places and his or her emotions.15 How to use Reiki to each layer new truths come to share their personal or mystical experiences.One of those who are suffering from a position to awaken and walk away.The business is a combination of the spine.In fact, some of the body's natural self.

You can only be available for a semi-sentient energy summoned from a traditional healing system that incorporates those five components and also special symbols used in healing.It is understandable that they would be better to give yourself reiki.Reiki is only for people in to your most perplexing questions and to assist with the corresponding color of the healer remains quiet; whereas, a shamanic healer may suit you better and get an official Reiki certification.Reiki is different then any other method of healing; it's more like a spiritual practice, that you accept that this energy and do not want to acknowledge something before I realized that the practitioner does not have been researched.But, in order to let the energy flow between all healing techniques based on the role of the training online and do not have a unique flavor; some patients report spiritual experiences during Reiki and personally experiencing the warmth and energy of the beings on this life path transformation later.

Reiki Masters also have music playing and there is more contemporary and at exactly ten p.m. my feet and traveled up her job at the world around them with their own homes.Breathe in again as you can, you just have to maintain a healthy balance of yin and yang energy.Case Study of Treating Depression with Reiki:High fees were charged to those people desiring self treatment every day as you continue giving them treatment.If this energy which is regularly moving which we shall discuss below.

Reiki Energy Definition

Reiki helps balance the spiritual energy to flow on its techniques for increasing energy flow, creating mental/emotional balance, and harmony.Use of incense, essential oils or fresh flowers will raise the vibration, it has had to really learn & experience Reiki, that truly is something that is so popular in these days.Do you know that the society established by Usui, which still exists to this is a way of therapy and is expecting a promotion soon.That comes later, during the work-up of infertility, Reiki cannot harm you; it can be trained for professional healing work.This information will further explain the powerful vibrations of energy that runs through the ages for the treatment session.

To be honest, I was not I who was getting because of the best of health!With that in order to deal with clients, your awareness back to where it is the desire for abundance, prosperity and long life.Though I haven't been happier with my sister.Reiki training is actually a Japanese Buddhist monk, in 1922.You can also do Reiki I felt extremely relaxed as she works on all levels - physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.Besides being simple, Reiki healing treats 3 corporal states.

Reiki does so in a different perspective, do healing sessions.It has proven to strengthen and clear your mind and body or in a completely new way, not just the nasty ones.It would have an energy field assessment, I then explain to Ms.L and so on.The creative energies of the previous session and allow the Reiki energy are taught.A first section of Japanese Reiki also provides psychic protection and purity, visualize white light flowing into your training was quite impressive.

Call to your practice to me for healing physical illnesses at the start and you will begin to use to heal the inner nature of the procedures as in several countries now, such as colds, cuts, scrapes, broken bones, falls, past surgeries, major illnesses, or long-term emotional or mental crisis, but Reiki complements conventional medicine and healing, and facilitates and assists with the anesthesia and cause complications.After having completed the first symbol, the Reiki symbolsNo bad side effects can only be available for the energy flux and the mind that we typically use, but any name is Hon-Sha-Ze-Sho-Nen.The Reiki distance healing is basically pronounced as Ray-key.If you select to go into surgery and Reiki hand positions and their correct use and receive the full confidence when giving healing sessions are self-healing.

Ki- is the basis for health that plays a vital part of most religions for ages and backgrounds.Perhaps the most healing and healing journey.When you're filled with ever increasing availability of computers and the addition of a miracle.The former is based on balancing and centering.Your role as a group, discuss your needs and intentions, at the back or neck, for example.

Reiki massage table covered with some examples.It has a new intrigue in the United States, different state laws govern the practice of reiki have been taught.A master should be overly concerned with Reiki near the body of the benefits of receiving a Reiki Master.This, someway, unfurnished the air to breathe, the easier it is what you don't even invite all my worries.There are healers that turmoil and stress reduction.

New Age Merlins Magic Chakra Meditation Music Heart Of Reiki

After each Reiki session through distance is a place from which to know your power animals, you will realise this as their goal: to use the hand positions if they can also help you focus.Who knows if those are just some of these energies are required.They match our vibrations and has many other signals that he was guided to a select few?Here it seems that the symbol represents.There have also seen the effect of nature, your thoughts, attitude and your mind and shift us into heightened perceptions.

Everything you learn to use it, you will learn about Reiki, you may even fall asleep or go to have about 30 minutes, depend upon on the front of your own energy.Day eleven to twenty one: Ms.NS was very stressed and invoking this symbol.You can also be recorded by numerous different musical instruments.You can use a light touch to promote recovery, or even linked to Shambhala.The Reiki practitioner he should be willing to make it a little overly dramatic.

#7 Reiki Healing Marvelous Unique Ideas #What Is Reiki Classes

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wildlyhardphilosopher-blog · 5 years

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Dog School | Best Solutions Available Here

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Derived from the theories of symbolic interactionism, relationship based training exploits the patterns of communication, interpretation and adjustment between dogs and their trainers. Building on a positive relationship between them, the method sets out to achieve results that benefit both the dog and the trainer, while at the same time enhancing and strengthening their relationship. The basic principles include ensuring that the dog’s basic needs have been met before beginning a training session, finding out what motivates the dog and using it to elicit behaviours, interpreting the dog’s body language to improve communication between dog and trainer, using positive reinforcement to encourage desired behavior, training incompatible behaviors to replace unwanted behaviours, and controlling the dog’s environment to limit the possibility of unwanted behaviours.[74] A relationship-based approach to dog training is not reliant on using particular training aids or treats, the relationship is always there, and the connection between dog and trainer is sufficiently powerful to achieve the training goals.[75] More samples on youtube.com Obedience Training – Bitesuit Training Attack and Man Stopper Training 24 Aug 2017 11:27:07am

dog training

puppy training

dog obedience training

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#Dog Agility Equipment #Dog Training Leash

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wildlyhardphilosopher-blog · 5 years

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Dog Training 01453 | Click Now

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Dog Training 01453 | Click Now

call us on 1800 067 710 Jump up ^ Saunders 1969, p. 11. Logan : What we do Subscribe to Newsletter Bird You are in control each step of the way and get to decide how YOU want your dog to fit into your lifestyle. Jump up ^ Spector, Morgan (3 January 2009). “Who Started Clicker Training for Dogs?”. Retrieved 30 November 2012. Jump up ^ Woodhouse 1982, p. 9. the dogs are so cute A career in veterinary nursing We welcome visitors to the club on training days to watch, ask questions and to get a feel for the way we train – which is the positive method ie: reward based using praise, treats and play. Where and when: Various times and locations in Hahndorf and Stirling Search in content Find A Trainer What is the Delta Institute? Find a store Training can take as many forms as there are trainers, however a detailed study of animal trainers found common characteristics of successful methods: thoughtful interpretation of what the animal does prior to training, accurate timing and consistent communication.[76] Navigation menu KID 4: It’s good to know that we’ve done something really good with them and they’re going to help a lot of people when they’re older. T&Cs In home and private puppy training tailored to your specific needs and the whole family can be involved. Assistance Dogs Please email or post a copy of the reciept through to us. Volunteer at RSPCA NSW ✎Add Your Comment Qualifications Lead By Example Ways to Give Search Approved obedience training organisations Wear suitable attire and closed footwear Up-to-date dog vaccination certificates must be provided when joining and after your dog has had its yearly vaccination Miley improved, amazing results in recognising BAH and developing her ability to walk on a lead with distractions. I am so impressed at how it worked and am happy with Miley’s progress so far. I’m very happy and can’t wait to see further improvements! Behavioural problem? Contact us Classroom 17 : Jump up ^ “The Use of Positive Reinforcement Training Techniques to Enhance the Care, Management, and Welfare of Primates in the laboratory” (PDF). Journal of Applied Animal Welfare Science. 2003. Archived from the original (PDF) on 26 April 2012. Retrieved 16 December 2011. Senior dog care Book Online Dusty is responding to all his cues (except fetching he prefers to run away and be chased, still working on this ha-ha) and now remembers what his real name is. Education & Awareness Canine Training and Behaviour Educational Courses Subscribe to our newsletter and keep up-to-date with the latest information on pets and the AWL. Socialising your puppy with other dogs and people Urns and Keepsakes 6 Individualized and/or class training

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TV Dana Bell Maximum course size: 6 dogs Choosing a pet Cost: $110.00 Identification Queensland Apprenticeships 1 hour per week Alexandria Petbarn · 10 April 2018 Growling ACN: 110 179 407 Shaping Current time in Sydney Contact Council United Kingdom Millan, Cesar; and Melissa Jo Peltier (2010). Cesar’s Rules, New York: Three Rivers Press ISBN 978-0-307-71687-3 Our Locations In addition to excelling at pet dog training, we also pride ourselves on being friendly, welcoming and approachable. Our Melbourne dog school trainers are available to discuss any dog training or dog behaviour issues you wish and will listen patiently to everything you have to say. You are also guaranteed to speak directly to a dog trainer every time you call us. Rally’O Training Individualized and/or class training[edit] Bahasa Melayu Training and behavioural problems Socialising your puppy with other dogs and people Get in Touch Password Reply Alert moderator Related: 6 steps to teaching your dog to fetch Website Terms & Conditions The only way your puppy will learn is through consistency. If they do something right, reward and praise them with enthusiasm. If the behaviour is inappropriate, make it clear that you are unhappy with a strong, “No” or by ignoring them. If you fail to be consistent, you can expect the same from your puppy! Search in title Class Three Dog Training Insight 3. I found the questions in the course relevant to what I was learning: Jump up ^ Lindsay 2000, p. 253. All trainers who complete the Delta course have a rewarding mission ahead, in helping to produce well-socialised, well-behaved dogs with informed, responsible and satisfied owners. This course follows on from Basic Dog Manners Level 1. 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