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vikenticomeshome · 5 months ago

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Cyberchase - Revising Digit's Backstory (part 1)

I recently posted a character analysis of Digit from Cyberchase. During that analysis, I said that I had some problems with some inconsistencies in his backstory and some plot points that didn't make much sense.

Here's a brief review

According to "How it All Started", Digit defied The Hacker at every opportunity. When The Hacker stole Motherboard's encryptor chip and locked it in a vault, Digit retrieved it and let Motherboard know what happened.

This led directly to The Hacker's banishment.

However, The Hacker took Digit along with him, and somehow, neither Motherboard nor Dr. Marbles realized what had happened.

Digit went on to build the Grim Wreaker, clearly upset to still be with The Hacker. He works for him out of fear.

Later on, Digit witnessed The Hacker turning off the power to Cybersite Valussa.

He betrays Hacker for the second time, sending a coded message to let Valussa know how to turn the power back on.

He saves Valussa, but he is captured by The Hacker.

He breaks free and finishes his defection to Motherboard.

So, I have a few problems with this origin story. How did neither Dr. Marbles nor Motherboard realize that The Hacker abducted Digit? Where was Motherboard when The Hacker took over Valussa? Remember that this is the prequel, so Motherboard is still at full power, prior to the virus.

Additionally, Season 1 Episode 1 appears to contradict this backstory. Digit is deeply ashamed to have worked for The Hacker. He credits Motherboard with having rescued him and set him straight. He claims that if she hadn't done that, he would still be making chaos with The Hacker.

What does Digit have to be ashamed of here? The two times we see him around The Hacker's plans in the prequel comic, he single-handedly ruins them. It's one thing for Season 12 Episode 8 "Hacker Hugs a Tree" to come along over 18 years after the prequel comic and retcon Hacker's banishment story. However, it is another thing for Season 1 Episode 1 "Lost My Marbles" to come along 1 month after the prequel comic and retcon Digit's backstory.

Later on, Digit goes to do some undercover work for Motherboard. He tells Hacker that he wants to rejoin his group and help him find Ivanka's secret to invincibility.

If all Digit ever did was foil The Hacker's plans, then why would The Hacker believe him here? No, there has to be something more to the story. Digit must have willingly done some chaos back in the day.

I have an idea for a revised backstory that ties things up a little neater. I do need to alter some minor points here and there, but most of the content remains intact.

So, here's my revised backstory.

On Arbor Day of 1999, Digit is born. Hacker constructs him from a box of parts. He is his greatest creation, with a built-in immunity to magnetite and a beak capable of unlocking doors and drilling through everything.

At this time, The Hacker is still Motherboard's faithful helper. He may have dreams of what he could do with the Transformatron, but he isn't at the point where he's trying to take over Cyberspace. He also hasn't harmed Coop and Slider yet.

Digit grows up in Control Central. He witnessed The Hacker save Motherboard from the magnetite meteorite of Y2K. His creator is a stand-up guy, so Digit follows in his footsteps. He is also helpful to Motherboard.

The Hacker and Coop have their falling-out. The Hacker wants to use their Transformatron invention to take over Cyberspace. Coop defies him by tearing up the plans, and The Hacker damages Coop with magnetite. Coop goes into hiding to find a cure, and Slider is left to grow up alone. However, Digit is not aware of it. Some things are just too personal to talk about.

And then, one night, The Hacker shows a side that Digit was unaware of. He steals the Encryptor Chip from Motherboard. Digit knows that this is all wrong, and he voices his opposition. However, The Hacker doesn't listen.

Digit retrieves the Encryptor Chip and returns it to Motherboard.

Digit is worried about upsetting The Hacker further. As such, he takes pictures of The Hacker without him noticing and submits them anonymously. The evidence is irrefutable, but neither Motherboard nor Dr. Marbles know it came from him at this point. Sure, with enough time to think about it, they would realize that Digit was the only other person there, so he was the only one who could have done it. However, they fail to realize this at the time.

The Hacker has two more pieces of information that neither Dr. Marbles nor Motherboard have. First, he knows that Digit was opposed to his theft of the Encryptor Chip. Second, he knows that Digit witnessed him hiding the Encryptor chip in the secret vault. He knows immediately that Digit has betrayed him. However, he also knows that he's about to be banished for his crime. If he pushes Digit away, then Digit will defect to Motherboard. If he dismantles Digit, then he is all alone. And so, The Hacker stops himself from confronting Digit.

Sure enough, Motherboard decrees that The Hacker will be banished for his crimes. His power supply will be downgraded, and he will be sent away in a remote-controlled Cyberpod.

Digit still cares about The Hacker. He knows that what The Hacker did was wrong, and he knows that he did the right thing by retrieving the chip. However, he believes that Motherboard's punishment is going too far. As such, he is torn between wanting to continue helping Motherboard and going into exile with The Hacker.

The Hacker ends up making the choice for him, as he grabs Digit and hides him in the pod. Digit ends up following him to the Northern Frontier.

At first, neither Dr. Marbles nor Motherboard realize that Digit was abducted. They've had a busy, emotional day after all. They do realize that he is gone later on. Since he was built by The Hacker as an assistant, they assume that he remained loyal to his boss and followed him into exile. Dr. Marbles remembers Digit's beak-related abilities and magnetite immunity. He wants to go after him before he can aid The Hacker. However, Motherboard stops him. If Digit has made his choice, then they have no right to take him back by force. Neither of them realize that Digit betrayed The Hacker and saved Motherboard. Neither of them realize that Digit was on their side, and that it is unlikely that he went with The Hacker willingly.

Digit continues to work with The Hacker in the Northern frontier. At this point, all The Hacker has is the remnants of his Cyberpod, the clothes on his back, and anything he can scavenge from the Northern Frontier. They manage to reconfigure the pod into a small, slow, form of transport to be able to leave The Northern Frontier. The Northern Frontier is shown here on this map of Cyberspace.

This map isn't the best quality, but if we turn our viewpoint a little, we can see three sites clustered around the Northern Frontier. First, there is a light-green site to the south-west that appears to have a solitary tower or windmill on it. Second, there is a dark green site to the south that has a forest on it. Third, there is a an orange site to the south-east that has a city on it.

While The Hacker still wants to take over Cyberspace, he knows that he cannot do it while Motherboard remains at full power. He needs time and money to build his Grim Wreaker ship, create his virus, and hunt for the pieces of the Transformatron blueprints. His best bet is the city to the south-east.

While it goes unnamed here, and it doesn't have recognizable landmarks of a Cybersite visited during the show, I am going to say that it is a stylized depiction of Cybersite Valussa.

The Hacker still only has Digit at this point. So, he has to be more hands-on with this plan. He also knows that Motherboard cannot be made aware of his return yet. So, he has to participate in his plan under a disguise like this one.

The Hacker decides to rob an armored truck heading to Valussa's main bank. He flips his makeshift transport over and plays the part of a stranded motorist. Under Motherboard's eye, crime is rare, reserved only for major players like Zorgon the Evil Wizard. Therefore, the armoured truck drivers see no problem in parking the truck and coming to help Madame Incognita.

While The Hacker distracts them, Digit is instructed to drill into the bottom of the armored car and take the Snelfus. Digit is conflicted about this. However, since he's been seemingly banished from Control Central alongside The Hacker, he is his only friend in the world. The Hacker reassures him that the bank's money is insured, so nobody who put their money in the bank will be harmed. He also reassures him that he won't have to hurt the drivers. So, it should be a victimless crime, right? It isn't like stealing Motherboard's Encryptor Chip and causing her to be unable to function. The Hacker is lying here, as there definitely is a victim, but Digit is naive. The heist is successful, partly due to The Hacker running out of power and fainting. The armored car drivers assist him, and they suspect nothing.

While the first armored car isn't enough to built the Grim Wreaker, it is enough to buy a small Cybercoupe and enable Hacker and Digit to have a greater range of travel in Cyberspace. It also gives The Hacker his first opportunity to rig up a recharger system for his internal battery. They proceed with the same armored car crimes on other sites. Many times, the armored cars are already rusted, and Digit's efforts to break them open cause them to fall apart. Many of their crimes are dismissed as the armored cars having fallen apart due to metal fatigue. Given that multi-Cybersite crime waves have never happened before, even those armored cars that were obviously tampered with are believed to be the result of local small-time criminals. Hacker resists the urge to leave a calling card, so there's little to link the crimes together. Digit has misgivings, of course. Motherboard and Dr. Marbles would never approve of this. Still, with no sign of rescue coming to get him away from The Hacker, Digit starts to resent them both.

On the way home from one of the heists, while The Hacker is making a big production about praising Digit for the wealth he has brought them, Digit breaks down and admits that he retrieved the Encryptor Chip and ruined The Hacker's life. The Hacker reveals that he knew all along about what happened and makes a big show about forgiving Digit for his crime. This successfully manipulates Digit. He remembers how he saved Motherboard. He remembers how The Hacker was banished, and how he opposed the decision. He remembered how he ended up banished alongside The Hacker as his "reward" for saving him. Motherboard never came to get him back either. But now, The Hacker, the person that he ruined to save Motherboard, is forgiving him and offering him a chance to start over.

And now, Digit is on board.

The Hacker has enough money to purchase the Botoplis kits to build Buzz and Delete, along with a proper recharger chair.

However, he doesn't have nearly enough money to build the Grim Wreaker. He could just keep robbing armored cars, but that would result in so many empty armored cars, that someone would start connecting the dots. He could start robbing businesses, but that would raise the risks of getting caught to grab even less money. Plus, Valussa is still too close to Control Central for comfort. No, The Hacker needs to do something big, and he needs to go to a Cybersite as far from Control Central as possible. And so, The Hacker plans a heist on the Cybersite farthest to the East, Gollywood. He's going to break the biggest bank in Cyberspace.

The Hacker will soon be 9,000,000 Snelfus richer.

I'm at the image limit, so I need to make a part 2.

#cyberchase #2000s #cartoon #nostalgia #pbs kids #2000s childhood #digit

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themcomicsofficial · 1 month ago

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My own Amazing Digital Circus idea.

Since we're aware of the company, C&A the company responsible for creating the video game.

However, I had this idea on my head since it's pilot came out--so I'm going to bring here to you!!!

The origins of C&A:

Our story begins with its founders, Cain Matthews and Abel Middleton the creators of the--what else? The Amazing Digital Circus so here there are origin stories.

Cain Matthews was born on October 1952 in a small town of Massachusetts somewhere near Salem. Growing up, Cain loved going to circuses and dreams one day being or creating one. However, he loved to draw funny characters, when he gets scared he often had his stuffed bunny by his side. What was the bunny's name you may ask?

JAX...

During his childhood he loved to draw himself in a circus with characters which would later become the characters we know in love.

In the late sixties and early seventies he studied Child Psychology during his times at college. However, Cain met a roommate named Abel Middleton who later become his partner and friend later in life.

As the mid seventies to early eighties came around, the two had ideas on what makes a kid happy--Cain want back to his childhood and had this idea, puppets!

Around 1983 they formed C&A it was a small non-profit organization at the start, it was only for children's entertainment. This was before the era of console games, Cain and Abel would perform puppet shows for children. The characters appeared first was Jax, Caine, and Bubble.

As the decade shifted to the nineties, Cain and Abel saw the rise of hand held devices and video game consoles without going to the arcade. Also, in that decade--CGI was blowing up in popularity so the two made a decision WHY so them their work if THEY show their world to them???

In 1994, they shifted their non-profit organization to a video game company where they begin working on their magnum opus.

1996, the two launched The Amazing Digital Circus which became a national phenomenon around the world. Its popularity was so big it had toys, action figures, plushies, pasta, storybooks, coloring books, and audio books! Also, they pitched a children's animated pilot around 1998-99 but it got rejected...

However, not all things have to successful...

As the new millennium rolled around something weird happened...Cain installed a new chip on the virtual headset to make it more into the Y2K craze of that time. It almost seemed like it worked but something went wrong, terribly wrong...

2001-02

There were some new reports of people including children experiencing hallucinations, nightmares of the circus and the characters from it after taking off the headset which sparked a massive controversy toward the two.

Cain said to Abel and to the employees to "shrug it off" however Abel argued that this controversy needed to be taken seriously but that's just the final crack that broke the camel's back. Cain grew more power hungry and aggressive and started carelessly on focusing on money, quantity, he stated he doesn't care about kids like as he was no longer the kind, generous man Abel knew.

2002-03: The final years

C&A started to experience toxic work placement from Caine's attitude, projects were rushed, updates had glitches which made the controversy worse.

However, the FTC sued C&A for intoxicating children and adults with "hallucinogenic substances" in their devices for $2,000,000. Finally, in 2003 the comapny closed down for good...During that year, Digital Circus merchandise were recalled and never to be shown again...

The next year, Caine vanished without a trace without any sightings during that time there were numerous disappearances following the year C&A shut down.

For Abel, he suffered through drug overdose, alcohol addiction as he became a mess, however he started to go through a sober recovery up to now.

Yet, he can still see the characters...

The Amazing Digital Circus is owned by Gooseworx, and GLITCH Productions.

#the amazing digital circus #c&a #amazing digital circus theory #tadc jax #tadc caine #tadc bubble #tadc theory #tadc fandom #gooseworx #digital circus #spooky month

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medig · 2 months ago

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A Tale of Woe, Ep. 50 : Happy Birthday!

(all episodes)

"Claire, sweetie, you can't hide under that sheet all day! Come on out and get it over with.."

----

[one hour earlier]

"Claire, what's wrong, did you make your wish yet?"

"Yeah, Liz, I wish I could go home. But I can't help thinking about how I'm another year older and seemingly no closer to getting out of this place."

"Well it certainly won't come true if you don't hurry up and blow them out!"

"Really, Liz? I'm supposed to be the one that's crazy, but you still believe in birthday wishes?"

"Sounds like somebody's trying get a good old fashoned birthday spanking"

"Oh God, Liz! Never talk like that again, after what I've seen - and felt - of what happened in this place - to Mary!"

"Mary again? You're still going on about that?"

"Yes! She's real, and I'm still having these dreams of her.. you promised me you'd help me find out more about her. Did you ever find out why she was sent here, or how she got out? That would be a good birthday present, Liz"

"Oh, Claire, I still can't find anything. Somebody hushed it up really well!"

"It was probably her, I bet she never even told her husband! God knows if I ever get out of here, it'll be pretty hard to tell anybody about it.. but who knows if that'll ever come up, if I never get out of here I'll never have to worry about it.. when I think of all I've been through, it feels like I've been here for years already!"

"Claire, it hasn't even been one year since you got here.."

"Well, it's easy to lose your sense of time in here"

"You wanna talk about losing track of time, it seems like only yesterday when you were born! In September of 2000 we were still eating up all the canned food and MRE's that Dad stocked up on the year before when he was turning the house into a fallout shelter. Look at this picture I took of your Mom in '99 !"

"Holy shit is that a real gun?"

"Oh that whole outfit was just some cosplay thing she wore to the Con that year. She thought it'd be funny to get a picture like that with all the stuff Dad was hoarding."

"Yeah, I was a Y2K bunker baby... born 9 months after everybody freaked out! I guess some people found the situation romantic.."

"In your case it was more about the relief when the world didn't end. Lots of people worked all year to fix all the old COBOL and FORTRAN code, Dad should know - he was one of them! When the clock struck midnight, and nothing exploded and the lights stayed on, Dad popped open a bottle of champaign and him and Julie ran off to the 'bunker' and I dind't see them again until the morning.. late morning, that is, both very hungover and her pregnant!"

"Eww!!! <giggling> Liz! Gross.. <snort>"

"Claire, that's the first time you've laughed since you got here! I'll be as gross as I have to be to see you laugh!"

-----

[five minutes after Liz leaves the hospital]

Nurse: "Alright, honey, visiting time's over. Let's get that robe and pajamas off. Nope, no gown this time. Doc says you can just go around the rest of the day in your birthday suit.."

#medfet #ai generated #own #female patient #ai girl #ai woman #multi part fic #dark medfet #imprisonment #medkink #medical examination #medical kink #medicalfetish #humiliation kink #forced nudity

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lee-sanghyeok · 4 months ago

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Some thoughts on the trailer film: Mysterious 20!

Prior to the release of the trailer film, we only got the promo, in which we just got these shots:

An old blackberry laying in a puddle and counting to 20 in green lettering. Someone snatching it from the ground as they're running, with others running behind them. Myself and others speculated it would have to do with themes of time travel, references to the Matrix and Back To The Future given the title, "1999", and that the music would pay homage to 90s pop and hiphop.

Now we got the full trailer.

Immediately, it's clear that we're in the early 2000s. Woonhak is wearing an outfit that's 2000s-inspired, he's wearing old headphones. The website that Woonhak opens on the old Blackberry is clearly a Web 1.0 site.

The website is named "Twenty", which the trailer says stands for fear and hope. Looking at numerology, it claims that the number also symbolises balance, harmony, the promise of success, as well as fresh starts in terms of relationships.

On the website, you see in the sidebar 'Nietzsche', which is a crazy reference, but makes me believe they're going to allude to him in a certain way? Either say his name directly in a lyric, or quote him. One of his famous quotes is, “Without music, life would be a mistake.” In general, he's one of the Big Modern Thinkers of the Western world known for his radical takes on culture, religion, death, and so on.

The website changes again and this time we see "MONEY POWER GREED" in red and white right above the avatar, and "STOP LIVING PAY CHECK TO PAY CHECK" below. Do these pop-ups potentially hint at themes that'll be discussed in the EP? Who fucking knows!

The avatar talking to Woonhak calls the phone "this super laptop" which is weird since it's just a Blackberry. This once again enforces we're in the early 2000s where this is new and exciting, sort of like the advent of the smartphone.

Then we see Riwoo and Leehan playing with the Wii and with older box tv's behind them. The Wii came out in 2006 and they're playing in a video game store as opposed to at home, so we can assume it's legit 2006 and they're testing out the console.

The news anchor then reveals an IT company made sure a nineteen-year-old found the Blackberry. That's why it's Woonhak that found it and not one of the other members. Something about the age nineteen is important; it's asking us to pay attention.

What is so special about nineteen and the advent of becoming twenty? Is it the death of Teen Age? Is it about the turn of the century when people had anxieties about technology (aka Y2K) and thought all computers would stop working because the date has to descend from '99' to '00'?

"The countdown to twenty has begun," says the news anchor.

The tv that Sungho and Jaehyun are watching the news on is from 2002. The Wii got released in 2006. Woonhak is legit turning 20 this year.

This new concept and era of their music takes place in 2006, the year Woonhak was born.

Then all hell breaks loose. Other anonymous nineteen year olds try and steal the 'super laptop' from Woonhak as they all believe something incredible or marvelous will happen once the countdown hits 20. Then a news anchor calls the 'super laptop' a Pandora's Box, which is something that at first can be seen as a valuable present, but is something cursed in reality.

We can surmise that all the nineteen year old people want this super laptop because they believe it holds valuable information on how to become 20, on how to successfully start adulthood and be the best. That is has the answers of the universe. But the reality might be a lot more grim as adulthood is a lot more complex then some laptop can explain.

In the end, they're surrounded by the mob and caught by someone in a helicopter. Details on Sungho's car show us "20th Anniversary" and "Nice". Nice is one of the album versions we'll be getting!

When they're about to be attacked and the countdown is close to twenty, we see the boys surrounding and protecting Woonhak. They're all older than him and know what lies ahead, and so they must save him from the mob and from whatever this 'superlaptop' will do.

That's where the trailer ends.

So, as I've previously discussed with Allison, I think we were correct to think that this new era is about the Self. They've explored the idea of a relationship in their first trilogy, which was all about The Other Person. But now it's about themselves, about growing up, about age what it means to Come Of Age. About the anxieties of ending your teenage years, of what you're losing and can't return to, of what you're possibly gaining.

I think this album will be very introspective in a way that suits boynextdoor and their way of writing! It'll still be fun and fresh and loud and creative, but it'll focus on themselves as opposed to someone else.

Also! Fun little detail! This shot implies that Sungho can drive and, therefore, has a driver's license! Though time isn't linear in bonedo lore, they have grown and now can drive as opposed to in their song 'Serenade' wherein they made it explicitly clear they didn't have a license or a car!

That's all!

#boynextdoor #useroro #bnd #forbnd #userfoive #eritual #usermask #bonedo

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andshewas-mp4 · 7 months ago

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about the whole ongoing wanderrose dilemma, i see two possible ways this could go. beta talk below the cut, you’ve been warned.

first of all, id like to say sweet dreams is most likely the second map that happens in night swan’s timeline. what the heck am i talking about? let’s think back to the y2k season, with this mess up on the just dance team’s part.

(sorry about the size of this ss, im sending this on ipad)

those two coaches between p1 of promiscuous are absolutely the coaches we’ll see in the upcoming event. i think the timeline goes like this:

1. map we don’t know yet, this is before she was a failed ballerina. this was when she was hopeful, ready to do her best at dancing. my personal theory is that this is muder on the dance floor (not the cover by royel otis, but the original by sophie ellis-bextor). in the music video, the singer has the same hair as the emote, a big factor in a lot of maps inspired by their respective music videos is small nods to their source material such as their costume or, naturally, hair. the music video is a party where the singer dances with another man, so i can see it being some sort of audition. maybe she’s dancing with cygnus considering they’re longtime friends and this would be when they’re both young. what turns her to becoming evil would be her failing the audition, that being the ‘murder on the dance floor.’ she fails maybe at the end or somewhere in the middle.

2. sweet dreams, this is as she turns evil. this is after her failure. we can see construction happening in sweet dreams, as behind her faces that later digitalize and become night swan/leda nox, so this is possibly as cygnus (the city in eternyx) is being built and her influences grow. the eye shot at the very end is likely a sign of her reminiscing on her rise to evil.

this is all to say i don’t think the traveler is jack’s father, rather i think cygnus has a higher chance. we’ve known since showdown that night swan and cygnus go way back, and that beggin’ was cygnus’s way of apologizing. i think that audition was the rough patch in their relationship. my personal theory is that they’d both been preparing for that audition for a while, they probably met because of it in the first place, and night swan blames him for their shared failure, and beggin’ was how he tried to tell her he was sorry, on a stage broadcasted all across the danceverses.

i think jack could have been born out of wedlock to cygnus and night swan, and due to night swan’s anger towards cygnus he wasn’t in jack’s life very much. while he had an influence on his life, being the inventor and architect for many buildings in eternyx, i think that was more of a business relationship. he could have also built night swan’s tower as a way of apologizing too, he built her her tower to show he regrets the messed up audition and she’s still not over it.

the other way would be the traveler outcome, what people are fearing. i think there hasn’t been enough buildup to it, it would be such a huge reveal that there would have to be hints and foreshadowing outside of the just dance team pushing wanderrose away and being weird about it.

of course, i could be totally wrong, but i think it’s a decent enough theory. if you’ve read this far, thank you <3 feedback appreciated!

#just dance #just dance 2024 #jd cygnus #night swan just dance #jack rose #wanderrose

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bnnuy-wabbit · 2 years ago

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HAAIIIIII you can call me Lago, im 21 (i dont know how EITHER), im just some guy*. this is my main blog and where i throw funny things that makes my brain produce juices and also random ass personal poasts.

one of those he/shes they never warned you about (pathogenic variant they have yet to make any vaccines to protect you from)

my art tag is #feral art tag.

there will be adult things in this blog because im an adult. follow at your own risk etc. were horny in here towards men occasionaly.

I'm brazilian. From Brazil. As in born here, living here and stuck here for the foreseeable future. é nois 🤙

Everybody says I'm really nice! I am Unable to hit people up first though, but if you'd like to be friends, send me an ask and I'll give you my discord!!!!

i have many interests (mostly music and nerd shit) and funny things that I'll be putting under the read more lest this post get Unbearably Big. There are flashing blinkies down there by the way.

OK SO INTERESTS. I like MANY things! and i have favorite things! I think it's really cool of me to have favorites. i decided I'm going to wear them on my sleeve. anyways Here's some things i Like.

MUSIC!!! its one of my favorite things ever. I play the guitar and a bit of bass. heres stuff in no particular order of favoriteness. Just stuff i care enough right now to remember.

Linkin Park (meteora, hybrid theory <3)

My Chemical Romance

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Mindless Self Indulgence

scalene

Rammstein

Ft-rj (listen to it or i am going to chase you with a broom)

francisco el hombre (i recommend the rasgacabeza album)

danny bond

2000-10s pop!!! fuck it, lady gaga, britney spears, kesha, katy perry, black eyed peas, that sorta jazz.

Every single Homestuck song there is. i have listened to all of them multiple times. My favorite albums are colours and mayhem and also the beforus fan album.

Dad rock (acdc, queen, talking heads, nirvana, judas priest, Some pink floyd etc)

Industrial and Adjacent. I've been listening to code:redcore a lot and some grammostola actaeon lately. processor also fucks.

OTHER THINGS I ENJOY

Eragon (the books)

Disco elysium.

ADVENTURE TIME. I AM OBSESSED.

How to train your dragon (the books. specifically.)

Animated movies!!! Specially the hand drawn ones.

My horrible little OCs (@honsebeasts just go there but also Beware.)

Worldbuilding. I do aliens and monster speculative biology. Most of my thoughts on it are on the Above mentioned blog though.

Real life physiology and anatomy also

MEN (and like 3 fictional women.)

HORSES!!!!!!!!!!!

stranger things

Pokemen (i do not know a single thing after gen 6 though.)

Dungeons and dragons, sometimes

Traditional art like watercolors and oil pastels

Drawing my blorbos in the same side facing pose or just standing there.

Drawing in General actually! Designing characters is my passion

Fictional fathers

sewing and felting and sculpting and painting and singing and playing

COLORS. i love colors. i love looking at them. i love playing with them. i would like to eat them if i could. i love warm palettes.

Hiveswap (pissing screaming CRYING)

MONSTERS!!!!!! They're really cool and gay and hot.

Portal (the games. all of them. glafos........ kissing her)

Half Life.

y2k and 80s-90s vibes. i think its awesome.

I am afflicted by the human condition and also a few other funnier conditions. my brain and my body dont work right.

If you want to know the brunt of the brain ones: autism adhd avpd. they all impact heavily how i interact with people with people. Sorry in advance if i can't keep conversation going.

I'm some sort of queer thing. If we need to get really specific, id say "bisexual aromantic bigender femme", mostly into men and butches, but Queer will do just fine. I'm a self entitled part time pretty fag and ugly dyke in my free hours. Intersex it turns out.

#intro #GIRL HELP!!!!!!!!!!#anyways.#👍#updated 11 october 23

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gontagokuhara · 1 year ago

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I just read the most recent chapter... PERFECTION. I'll talk more about it when I leave a comment, but it was so worth the wait. I'm so interested in the lore of this story, it's definetly transcended both source materials and become its own unique thing! I have so many questions, but I just want to ask the ones that probably won't be revealed from the story itself to try and prevent me from bombarding you with them all😭

For now I'm gonna guess that Kaede knows Peko from a camp visit or something! I think it was also alluded that she/Tenko knows Chihiro/Chiaki as well. What's it like when the other Gods visit (or when the triplets visit)?

Also, I'm not sure how to phrase this, but how were the demigods born to established couples like Naegami/Sakuraoi? [Bc like, gay supremacy, obvi, but like, idk how😭] And also also, why did all the gods decide to reproduce like rabbits all at once 😭 I know that in Greek mythology they were all just freakin but like I'm wondering what caused it in pointy objects, did the y2k craze also get to them

(I wanna save most of it for my comment on ao3, but I really liked how we got an update on so many outside characters, as well as new characters! What happened right after everyone at the camp realized they were gone? I feel so bad for the other half of the kids💔)

hello hello!!! i very eagerly await your comment, but that's for later — for now, there's a few other things!

first: your interest and passion for my writing is so incredibly appreciated and enjoyed and inspiring and just !!! it means more than you know, and since *im* crazy insane about this fic too, i am more than happy to answer questions because my god the brain worms are so bad and they've been there for YEARS.

second: the answers to your current questions! for anyone who may not want to see (for spoiler or length reasons) the rest shall be under the cut <3

i love offering little insights on things that i just don't physically have space to put into the main fic, so that's where i'll start with your first question! godly parent-birth child interaction is a big no-no under junko, so the gods have had to get creative in how they make contact with their children. in the case of peko, kaede is familiar with her because tenko lives with her (with their relation being aunt-niece) except during the summers. as an aside, tenko and himiko also attend the same boarding school during the year, and so when it's summertime, it's often been peko that's dropped the both of them off at camp. however, kaede is also privy to maki's family situation in a way that no one else at camp really is, so she's aware of fuyuhiko being maki's 'godfather' and that he and peko are very close, and work together.

in mentioning chiaki and chihiro as examples, there's a few reasons for the other campers to be aware of them enough to like them. lots of phone conversations, first off — junko can do a lot of things, but monitoring every possible means of communication for every demigod is unfeasible — and boring (at least when not considering certain gods she has specific vendettas against). chiaki and chihiro are all around "better" parents than some of the others, and that naturally lends itself to them coming by camp on very rare occasions to visit their children. other gods also will (very occasionally) visit to speak with hajime and nagito, but the barrier and its ability to keep them from interfering is most of the time enough that they'd rather call a meeting. so, tldr: gods come around camp sometimes, but in very limited circumstances. it's mostly phone conversations, texts, and facetimes that are used between the demigods and their parents (though not everyone has that privilege. i'll leave it at that <3)

and VERY good questions, about the logistics of all these damn kids LOL. there are a lot of reasons for this, so i'll use a few specific examples to expand upon.

makoto and byakuya are first-time parents with rantarou. in godly terms, they've been together for a long time (though not nearly as long as others like hajime/nagito or sakura/aoi, whose relationships are actually ancient). however, for various reasons — hesitance on byakuya's end that he may be a poor father, hesitance on makoto's end to not only have a child as a Big Five god, but also to have a mortal child that he will outlive — they put off having children until relatively recently. sometimes it's as simple as they're just waiting for the right time, and that's what they did. in rantarou's case, he is byakuya's biological child, and his conception was the result of a very rigorous process of finding a surrogate both byakuya and makoto were comfortable with. and it worked out; they were given the child of their dreams, the center of their whole universe, and the very well taken care of surrogate is paid for all of the work she does and more, and she retires richer than god.

aoi (as angie's godly parent) had her in a very similar way — sperm donor, from someone she trusts on her home island where she lives with sakura and a few hundred mortal islanders that know of their status as goddesses and worship them accordingly.

and finally the VERY good question of Why The Fuck Are There So Many Demigods. there's a few reasons for this! a lot of the kids we see are the first children that a god has had — this is true in the case of gundham's child, rantarou, tenko, and a few others that will become important to the fic itself later. there were also several couples between the gods that developed relatively 'recently', which plays a role as well. others, who have had children before, grieve the ones they've lost and decide if/when to have another child in very different ways. this is a non-exhaustive list, but sonia, chihiro, leon, komaru, aoi, hiyoko, mahiru, and nekomaru are all examples of gods who have had children more than once. some — like sonia, chihiro, and aoi — make the choice to have more children despite the issues that arise regarding their immortality. and in the case of those three, all of them just happened to feel ready enough to have kids again at the same time a few spring chicken couples were popping out their firsts, and a few others were making questionable parenting decisions, and some had kids...without knowing they did.

BOY this sure got fun! but it was so fun to write. if this hasnt made it clear, i'm more than happy to talk about this fic for literally ever and ever — so long as i'm ducking around spoiler territory. your last question, about what happens immediately following the gang being discovered as missing, will come up to at least some degree in pointy objects. however, for years i've maintained a list of possible one-shot ideas that don't fit within the main pointy objects narrative, and that has been on there for ages. so if it's not expanded upon enough in-verse for my liking, i'll definitely either write something supplementary (WAY in the future tho LOL) on ao3 or lore drop here. we're a ways off from that, though!

but thank you again, and i hope you enjoyed this little offering! i certainly did <3

#ask #bittercideristaken #pointy objects #dr

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bradandchris · 11 months ago

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Growing up drop dead gorgeous in a less than emotionally intelligent environment, Chris had the unfortunate experience of learning about life with a sex drive the hard way.

After three good goes at his first crush, Chris tallied two broken bones, one round of stitches, and wrecked four floor to ceiling mirrors. He finally came across the ugly underwear method after meeting a scout from Barbizon sophomore year while shopping at JC Penny.

Ever since, Chris has not only looked like a model, he could also hold a conversation with his ever beautiful mirror self, along with other equally attractive men.

In case you’re wondering there wasn’t a higher category of attractive.

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silvermare · 5 months ago

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It's Nunavut Day! This calls for bringing out my favorite song by Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie.

Lyrics as per user Druidus (https://www.religiousforums.com/threads/the-nunavut-song-three-dead-trolls-in-a-baggie.163089/):

For aeons did the men and women, seals, and beavers of Nunavut suffer and toil for their overlords. Long did they labour under the oppressive white yoke of the evil Canadian government...

Until one day, a rag-tag displaced group of frustrated Inuit got together and formed a specially-trained elite council. And this council wrote a letter. And that letter led to a meeting. And that meeting led to some other meetings. And meeting after meeting for years did they meet. Each meeting leading to another meeting until ONE DAY... There was a meeting...

Which led to a vote, which led to some more meetings, which spawned some paper-work, which led to another couple of meetings, and from that meeting was forged the arctic council. And they had a meeting.

And from that meeting was born a document, which in turn led to another vote and some more meetings.. Which led to the birth... of a Territory...

When the white man came up North dressed in his finest furs, he told you that he owned the land, You just smiled and shrugged and you said "Ppphhbbt... sure."

Uranium, oil, and gold Man, he took a ton of it. You asked him what was left for you and he said, "Nunavut".

Patiently, you sat and you planned, Quietly you made your stand Through facts and email, shaking hands... You said, "Come on whitey, give us back our land!"

You wondered what could possibly become of it... "We'll keep Canada," he said, "You can have Nunavut."

Nunavut, for us you bear no malice... Nunavut You freed your borealis...

After Y2K, when the ozone's burned away, I think I'll visit Nunavut for a tropical holiday...

Now there's twenty-seven thousand Inuit, takin' up twenty percent of Canada's land; in a country where nobody could tell you where the hell that borderline does stand...

It's not that we don't give a damn. I don't mean to make fun of it, but one fifth of my country, is also Nunavut...

Oh Nunavut, for us you bear no malice.. Nunavut, c'mon and shake your borealis...

After Y2K, when the ozone's burned away, I think I'll visit Nunavut for a post-apocalyptic holiday...

And all the Inuit say "qaly-qoly'quawaliquilal..." (Me: Lol, I don't know Inuktituk, so I can't get this line right.)

This song came out in 2001 in the album "Steaming Pile of Skit", I have no clue how or where I first heard it, but it lives in my head forever. On a particularly meeting-heavy day, I find myself muttering to myself "and meeting after meeting, for years did they meet. Until ONE DAY! There was a meeting."

Anyway, I couldn't find this song anywhere on YouTube so I decided to dig up an MP3 from when I ripped the CD I own and share it with the world because I can.

(also I lied about it being my original work or having permission to post it, but the song is ~23 years old and the band broke up 19 years ago, Joe Bird passed in 2009, and Wikipedia says "musicians are working to ensure these songs are remembered" - and also I'm not making any money off this, so I think it'll be ok)

#three dead trolls in a baggie #nunavut #canadian humor #internet heritage post #corporate humor #meetings

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 1 year ago

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ok so this post is like spawned from reading the notes on an age gaps in relationships post, that I just read while waking up today....

I think a big part of the discourse around age gaps in relationships is spurned on by again, the fuckin stupid ass elder millennials vs younger millennials (or even zillennials) and gen z bullshit "war". it's like, in the post I made like last month about a convo at my old work's staff christmas party in 2022, where one of the ladies in the finance team and the newish guy hired in my team (customer service)..... which was all about her being a 1989 millennial "just before the cusp of the 90s so I'm a REAL MILLENNIAL unlike you two (me and new emo guy who are 1995 (me) and 1997 (I think, emo guy)).... you fake-ass wannabe millennials. you're babies!!!! YOU GUYS HAVE NOTHING IN COMMON WITH ME!!!!" like yes we do, sadie. and i'm the cut-off for millennials in 1995. but I digress.

but to me, it's the elder millennials like this woman and even comedians (ie the elder millennial netflix standup special from iliza shelsinger whose 40 but was done in 2017 or whatever) who are breeding the idea that people in their mid 20s, born in the mid to late 90s are "uwu cute lil babies who i have NOTHING in common with, so therefore you are a child (and everyone else your age by extension are children), to me." in age gap relationship discourse.

like sadie, for the love of fuck. there is 6 years difference in age between us. you may be in you mid 30s, yes. so you obvs have a bit more life experience than me, in general.... and actually went through 9/11, possibly understanding the implications of it (which I didn't bc I was literally 5/6 years old in 2001 when it happened; but I still knew what the fuck it was... even though yes, we're aussie.... but this is always used as the major event that younger millennials are "too young to understand and that therefore means that they're not real millennials")..... and again, you really experienced y2k fashion properly; whereas I watched it unravel on TV. but that does NOT make me child, incapable of making my own decisions, according to you. apparently emo guy doesn't know what rent is..... when he was actively moving out of his rented place to move in with his girlfriend's parents (one of whom, we all worked with)???? like make up your mind.

but from the comedian side, particularly the iliza shelsinger special that im talking about, it's the insinuation that as a 1995 baby and the people just under me, like emo guy, have NO IDEA what a landline is???? and that again makes us babies.... children who don't know the ways of the world before our all-knowing smartphones, which are connected to our hands like edward scissorhands. again, of course i know what the fuck a landline is!!!!!! I used one up until about 2009??? when my friends finally started to get their mobiles. of course, it means that I didn't have my own private landline (and hamburger phone, thanks juno) to my own room, which was an expensive must-have, that very people few would have ACTUALLY HAD, in the 2000s.... bc by that time, cordless phones were a thing anyway. and the age gap between me and this comedian is 12 years. she's just turned 40, born in 1983. so, therefore, again, I am but a babe. a mere naive lamb in the world of more knowledgeable, wiley wolves. but you're in your 20s!!!! you DON'T KNOW THE HORROR!!! yes i do!!!! i fully do. bc we literally JUST GOT RID OF OUR LANDLINE PHONE LAST YEAR, IN 20 FUCKING 22!!!!! don't you dare tell me i don't know what it is.

moreover, bro. I am 20 fucking 8 (well, nearly). I turn 30 in two years time. yes, I may have never moved out of home (lol fucked up rental crisis.... and everything else, where the world is falling apart).... but I do pay my own car insurance and car loan (finally). hell!!!!! i BOUGHT my own car last year.... even if it wasn't fully in cash lol. I may have only had my first ever ~real adult~ job last year (kinda... and first job ever, period).... but that doesn't make me a child. I am still an adult, capable of making my own choices.... even if one of my choices is utterly refusing to date people... like, ever.... due to my horrendous past experiences with guys in my late teens. "but!!! but!! both of these women croon, YOU ARE STILL A CHILD! YOU HAVE HOPE!!! UNLIKE MY JADED ASS!!!" yeah. nah. my hope for the future fizzled out years ago. maybe not emo guy's. but mine defs has. and why is feeling jaded like a weird fucking milestone and badge of honour to wear???

in my actual life, one of my primary school best friends just divorced her high school sweetheart a couple of months ago. due to the guy changing his mind on having kids (ie he started wanting them, but he works one week one/one week off and fly in/fly out in the mines.... and since they were in another state, South Australia, they had NO family or friends to help my besite with the kid that she didn't even really want.... and he didn't want to do 50% of the housework and mental work for them). she owns a fucking house and pays house insurance. she works a high-powered government job in sydney now. my other primary school bestie, ironically, just got married to her uni sweetheart, and they're renting in the fucked up rental hellscape that is sydney. we all drive. we all have cars... even if I did take forever to get my full licence and my own car.

what, in any part of the above paragraph, is not a wiley adult wolf, just like both of these 80s babies think that they are???? both of these women who I've mentioned in this post would've had these conversations with past partners, and obviously with their current partners (the comedian had a kid in late 2022 I think, and the woman from work had like 2 or 3 kids, for example). they both own houses etc etc.

I fail to see how 90s kids are "uwu babies" in the eyes of elder millennials.... other than they're making that excuse to treat us like kids when it comes to dating someone with..... a let's say.... 5 to 12 year age difference, at the minimum. why would a 1983 or 1987 or 1990 "elder millennial" date a 1995 zillenial/baby millennial/cusper/whatever the fuck we're called, when *cue the "if she doesn't know X/what X is she's too young for you bro (or chick)! meme*... like "if she doesn't know what *enter a random 80s show here that an 80s kid grew up on* is, then she's too young for you, bro!!!

like who gives a fuck if I have never fucking watched idek Cheers or family ties or ALF or Fraiser (for early 90s) or whatever the fuck else???? maybe I didn't watch them bc I was literally fucking 2 years old??? so i was too young for the re-runs of these shows from 1997 onwards??? I was just vibing with rainbow brite (80s cartoon), dino riders (which was a short-lived 80s cartoon), the disney's gummi bears (late 80s cartoon) and every winnie the pooh movie and power rangers show or movie under the sun. oh, and of course, fucking Lion King and other 90s disney movies! that are all getting those godawful nostalgia cash grab live-action remakes that NO ONE has asked for, really. that for some reason, a lot of 80s babies seem to claim as theirs, and only theirs, for nostalgia and "disney adult" points. i also watched pokemon on VHS!!!! SHOCK!! HORROR!! I KNOW WHAT A VHS IS!!! (and we still have them).

just. my point is. i think some of the age gap discourse, if it's not about like power dynamics/abuse and whatever else.... is coming from this dumb as fuck generational divide of self-declared "elder millennials" who are now nearing 40 or are 40; or somewhere in their mid30s, trying to be so over-superior over the 20 somethings born in the mid to late 90s. (and now early 2000s kids, SHOCK!!! HORROR!!!- gen z... but i get this sometimes im ngl. the fuck you mean the young lawns guy who i had a short-lived crush on last year at work IS 20 FUCKING ONE (21)???? NO. NO IT CAN'T BE HAPPENING!!!! IT- IT- IT CAN. NOT. BE. FUCKING. HAPPENING????!!!!).

just for the love of fuck. get over this utter bullshit about "millennials are the best babies!!!!" bullshit and STOP infantilizing grown ass adults (even if i personally actively NEVER feel like one tbh lmao) just because of an utter bullshit arbitrary age classification used for marketing and sociological research purposes only..... and only because there's between a 6 (for the lady i know) to about 12 year age gap (the comedian) between an 80s baby and a mid 90s baby. we are of the same generation... and we can have successful relationships with people born in the 80s/elder millennials, despite the age gaps. not that i've had one personally lmao. but we all know someone with an older partner or friend or whatever.

but i'm also thinking about it since there's the debate around chris evans finally marrying alba bapitista. when he's 42 (so gen x but who gives a fuck)... but she's 26 (a zillennial) and a college grad.... so apparently SHE has NO rational decision making skills at the baby age of 26. and also around joe jonas divorcing sophie turner.... where he's using his age (34) against hers (27) as a reason to divorce her bc he's "more responsible" than her (eg. he's forced to look after HIS kids while HE is on tour in the US.... while sophie parties after wrapping up a tv show she's been working in the UK on for like 6 months to a year and also finally working.... after taking 2 to 3 years off for her kids and pregnancies.... and the uh.... GLOBAL PANDEMIC????), and bs like that. it's just making me gag tbh.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #relationships i guess

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auratale · 9 months ago

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Every time I come to this stupid palace once every fortnite. It's always the same. We all dress in our most extravagant dresses, meet for social, and then we gossip about other, less unfortunate, individuals for hours. It's daft.

These are the days I cherish most, but dolefully, I must experience one day when I am truly not myself. Any other day, I care only for the menagerie, the town park, or even the library room at the home of the palace at which I reside in currently.

Today, instead of Le comte de Gabalis, it was Pauline de Buanderie. Oh Pauline, you poor, poor girl. I don't mean literally! Figuratively. Although... Nevermind, I'm getting off topic.

These ladies were mean. They could pretend all they want to be nice, but I could tell how the common folk looked at us. I give the same look to others of higher standing. I suppose it may not truly matter, one day they'll have the crowd to them for all to see, and what an occasion it will be.

Admittingly, I'm the same. I sound just like them. I try not to be as blunt as they are, but it's almost contagious. Besides, if I don't keep up this charade, I will lose all status and ruin my family's good name.

I love them. My parents. They truly are kind. I know not if my mother is as pretentious as the ladies I socialize with, for her private life is kept to her own. I don't want to know. She is kind to her maids, kind to the servants, kind to father, and of course to me.

Mother is extraordinary. And so is father, even if I rarely see him these days. He tries to keep what he is doing in secret from us, but I know he goes into town to meet with others about the state of the economy. Is my father for the peasants of the land, or is his money glued to the life of luxury? I know not.

What I do know is that I am incredibly bored. Three hours of bickering about Anna Marie's latest fling. You filthy lady, you shouldn't see Pierre while he tries to woo another lover's heart!

The end grows near, as the moon rises. We are now escorted by servants of the palace to our guest quarters. Finally. I can put this day behind me. Next time I wake to this fantasy of luxury, I can wander in peace, observing the floral that my dear friend Aimée waters everyday.

Bonne nuit, France.

The alarm goes off, and I swipe the button on my screen. I hate it here. My room is always a mess, I don't know how to clean it properly. Maybe I just don't want to. Or maybe I lack motivation.

My mom and the guy she married the year of the Y2K scare are screaming again. It sucks. I hate him.

I have to get to school, but if it means going past my argumentative parents, I'd rather skip today. School is horrible anyway.

I go to the sink and mirror that's conveniently in my room. It's not convenient. It leaks. It smells. But at least I don't have to go downstairs.

I pick up my razor. I can see stubles again. I don't like shaving, but I don't want facial hair. If only I was born a girl.

The sounds of yelling have become ominous silence. That's my cue. I don't like the silence before the storm.

Storm... Perfect. It's raining. The bus arrives and I get on. I overhear the popular girls bickering about something as I pass them. I scowl their way. I look away quickly and feel bad as one of the girls give me a soft expression. I know that look of being in the high place being looked at from below.

School is hell. I don't want to be here. But it's safe at least.

Lucas looks at me. He is my only friend. He asks me why I was so absent minded yesterday. I give him the same exuce as always. "I just have my off days, you know."

History class is my final class of the day. How fun, I love history. Not.

Today's topic is the seventeen hundreds. Whoo, what a time to be alive.

Wait. The French Revolution? Oh yeah, we learned about this in Middle School. All the rich people die. I'm not looking forward to that part.

I speak in old French to show off my French knowledge. It impresses everyone, even the teacher.

Class ends and the usual bully calls me a common French slur. What an ass.

The one benefit about this life is my crush. Her name is Amy. We talk every day at the end of the day. She asks me how life is going. I joke about how I go to upper class parties and I sometimes hang out in a garden with a girl with a similar name to hers.

She laughs.

"That’s funny actually. I love gardening. I've always had a knack for it. I don't know where it comes from." I blush, but then look away.

We get on our different busses and I head home.

I see mom crying at the table. She cries about the husband she married. She calls him my dad. I don't like that. I try not to say the wrong thing. She's temperamental.

We enjoy a pleasant talk today. I go to get up to start dinner. At least I can cook. My mother showed me how. It always impressed mom how good I was at cooking.

I finish and hear him get home. I go upstairs and leave my mom alone. I study and do my homework. Tonight wasn't too bad. They sounded like they talked it out. I don't think they know I can hear them, but the floors are thin, and the vents are like a conduit for sound.

Finally I head to bed. I'm excited to wake up in the morning.

Good night, Boston.

You are subject to a quite unusual curse. You see, you were born twice, one day after the other, in two separate times and places. As such, you live half of your days as a noblewoman in pre-revolutionary 18th century France, and live every other day as a male millennial in the US.

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harryfeatgaga · 2 years ago

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okay so i am the youngest person at my job by like 10years (im 23 and my coworker closest in age is 33 for context) and a lot of times things come up that i don't know and they're all like wdym you don't know what that was and i always have to remind them that i was 4 months old when Y2K happened🥴 one time they fully didn't believe me when i said i didn't know who jonathon taylor thomas from home improvement was and fully cringed when i went 'so he's like zac efron for kids from the 80s?' bc i made them feel old🙂

anyway today my coworker (33) turned on a spotify generated playlist with the description 'for the hardcore workout girlies' and said 'i feel committed to playing this even tho i'm not a girlie' and i said 'yea but girlie isn't a gendered term. like anyone can be a girlie. girlie exists outside the gender spectrum' and he thought abt it and went 'im secure enough in my identity as a man to accept that. but it kind of reminds me of the term teenybopper' and i looked at him and went 'tommy. no one's used that term since 2006' and he went 'okay well that was my prime what were you in like second grade or something?' and i went 'i was in first' and he just deadpan sighs and goes 'you make me feel old' and turns back to his desk while i laughed at him

my other favorite moment was when we were doing introductions for the summer staff and my boss gave his by saying 'my name is X and i graduated from university in 2002' and my other coworker leans over and goes 'i was in 7th grade' and i whispered back 'i was 3.'

anyway i love to emotionally terrorize my coworkers by making them feel old 🤓

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOO PLS someone at work told me they were born in 2005 the other day I was HORRIFIEDDDDD

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formulinos · 4 years ago

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Hyperfixation Corner: A Special | Undestanding (and Ranking) the Landogates

Oh, what is Formula 1 if not a concoction of men who are products of their times and women that are so much better than them. We have had our share of controversial figures, whether they gladly took the role of the villain or found themselves as a parachute for trouble. It's not different that the masses in 2021 would latch onto charismatic figures looking for guidance in these so trying times or, even worse, look for something that just isn't there as means of a distraction to the utter chaos that is the Roaring 20s of the XXI century.

This is the case of Lando Norris, milk aficcionado and McLaren-Tangerine driver. Lando is practically a child of Y2K, born in November of 2021 and carefully crafted by the British system of drivers to be one of the next generation drivers of our era. He also happens to seem to be a light-hearted boy, who just likes to drive his fast cars and play his silly little video games, but once you unpeel the outer layers, you might just be surprised. Fundamentally speaking, Lando Norris has the motorsport bravado and never shied away from the opportunities that fell in front of him, but to his demise, his loyal army of Lando fans are always by his side, ready to dissect his every move whether he likes it or not.

Today, we're going in the lions' den and ranking the most memorable out of Lando's little run-ins with the outer society, fondly called by the F1 populace "Landogates".

Before we start, I would just like to thank the 25 Lando stans or former Lando stans that talked to me or answered the form - and to those who attempted to contact me but Tumblr is a bitch and I was also sick so there's that. Anyway, I really appreciate your help and I have learned a lot from you! Thanks for helping science!

5) Fanficgate

No, this isn't about the Reddit meltdown that happened in the beginning of the year, although that was a choice too. We're talking about December 15, 2020, when Team Quadrant posts a very harrowing tweet that will enter the annals of history.

The format is quite known: celebrity goes into social media content about him, reads everything and does funny lighthearted comments or snaps back at the haters. Naturally, all sections of the fandom go insane and start to discuss whether Lando will find out about this or about that and so did f1blr, blowing things out of proportion like one would. People started posting "Lando I'm so sorry" or "Hey Lando, if you're reading this hiiii". TBF I even think I did too, although I hit my head and my memory is glitching ever since. Anyway, the ethics of shipping Carlando were discussed, the ethics of fanfiction were discussed, the ethics of stalking were discussed, but here's the error though: Tumblr believed they were a social media worthy of recognition in 2020.

youtube

My guy wasn't even CLOSE to tumblr. TBH? Coward. It's easy to go on Twitter/Reddit, try spending one day in this Godless land. Anyway, the fact that we all suffered from collective delusion there - including those of us who knew there was no way in hell Lando would read their 50k childhood friends to lovers carlando one shot but still had a meltdown - makes it a non-entity gate and therefore, the worst ranked out of those. Overall, the people I interviewed were like "lol oop that was nothing" so, I think the fandom agrees with that one. I rate this a 1 out of 5 suggestive lando pic

4) Feetgate

This is the Funniest Shit ever and nothing will ever compare to this. The only reason I'm ranking this so low is because the following three are more based on reality, but this is the narrative I want to be included in. Absolutely legendary.

It starts with Sylvana IJsselmuiden, Formula 1 legend (I'm calling her like this from now on) and Dutch personality. Sylvie went on a podcast called "F1 Aan Tafel" on December 7, 2020 and started dropping barz on barz about Formula 1 drivers sliding on her DMs and sending her dick pics (if you know Dutch, here's the link. The Queen of Feet starts talking about it on min 32:50 if I'm not mistaken - I heard a Leclerc in Dutch accent and I am worried). Basically, she says that Lando shoots his shot constantly on DMs and that there are talks of him sending dick pics around, so she decided to answer the last time he had hit her up and see what happens.

Everybody gangsta until Sylvana said she photoshopped pictures of her feet to make them thicker and sent them to Lando, who responded with 'sexy feet'. Anyway, again, meltdown ensued. Some people latched onto the fact that Lando allegedly send unconsented dick pics to women (that is shit if true), some people decided to DM him their feet (this is so funny i am 10) and some people were just laughing at this, especially considering that when this came out it was really late at night for the Europeans and they would wake up with whiplash.

There were also people who tried to discredit Sylvana because she photoshops herself with drivers on her instagram. To me these look like a joke but even if she wanted to pass them off as reality, you know what? If she says she went to a bike trail with Lewis then to me that's real. She is my queen and God forgive who disrespects my queen.

Mostly, people just laughed at the fact Lando can't get no coochie and has a foot fetish because come on. Come ON. But also, the sentiment is that it's his life and a foot fetish is as normal in these days as wearing a mask to go out (I hope to FUCK no anti-maskers are reading this). The extra funny part is that Lando keeps going back to feetgate himself, by constantly talking about his socks during streams, having a foot cam (I mean, most drivers do anyway because they think it's interesting to see their feet while they play racing video games. I don't think it's even interesting to watch people play video games but well, I like to write things people will never read so who am I to judge). Here are two tidbits: one of Lando himself resurrecting Feetgate from the dead and one of Noel Miller also indirectly referring to it

This is stellar, fuck it. I rate this a 5/5 Sylvana's feet

3) Portugalgate

Portimão was definitely one of the races of all time. For Lando, it had started brightly as he was Top 3 in the first practice session (as if this meant anything) but by Qualis, we knew it was going to get real as he landed in P8, behind Carlos his beloved. The race wasn't sexy either at all, and while his teammate moved up, he actually got left behind, and by Lap 18 his race was as good as dead when he bumped with Lance Stroll, who thought the gap in Turn 1 existed. In case you guys don't remember, on Friday Lance had also had an incident with Max Verstappen on that same Turn - and tbh I think Max was just as amateur there as Lance.

Naturally, Lando wasn't happy at the moment, using some choice words at Lance. To be quite honest I am not English, so I have genuinely no idea of the impact this has in society, but most of the Brits that talked to me were the ones who highlighted his use of the C-word while the non-Brits didn't even look at it, so that's curious. He apologises for his language at the end of the GP on radio, but boy, he was ready to go wild.

Post race interviews come, he's still not happy: "He obviously didn't learn from Friday but he doesn't seem to learn from anything he does. It happens a lot with him, so I just need to stay away," he said to a reporter who couldn't believe the gold he had just found. Later, he was also asked on his thoughts about Lewis Hamilton's incredible 92 GP Victories, a record he had just taken away from Michael Schumacher's hands. His answer was very sweet: “It doesn’t mean anything to me, really. He’s in a car which should win every race, basically. He has to beat one or two other drivers, that’s it. Fair play to him, he’s still doing the job he has to do.” (I only found the video with Brazilian commentators on top, muh bad).

He was also not done with Lance, having a dig at him on Insta:

Yeah, you can tell the major reception of this was,,,, not what Lando expected. I sincerely think he got post-rant clarity because the Twitter apology came faster than the Merc in Portugal.

(lmao I love when people say "I am not that kind of person" in their apologies as if they weren't caught in 4k being that sort of person). To be honest, even though the wide majority of F1 fans thought that Lando was goofy as all fuck for having said the Lewis comments, there are still apologists who think that he was just saying what we were all thinking, while Lance's were just part of the game and he was in the heat of the moment, he was also raging still when he also talked about Lewis, it was a bad moment.

To be quite honest as well, there were quite a few discussions about Lando not being mindful of the race factor when he jabbed at Lewis - some people thought he should have been, some people actually thought that for once someone was assessing the situation as it really is and that removing the "activism" part of the equation was reasonable as cars are cars, political disarray is political disarray. The Lando stans I spoke to were quite divided about this as well, more than the Lance comments and many thought he was a bitch while the rest argued that "he said what we're all thinking".

There was still a very poignant comment about how part of Lando's identity as a media darling in Britain is that he is the anti-Lewis, and I am going to quote it here because it just…. NGL lads it gave me pause:

"Lewis gets hate for not living in the UK and “tax dodging”, Lando lives here. Lewis gets hate for being in the best car. Lando can’t be accused of that one. Lewis gets hate for being black, I don’t need to explain that one. Some even claim he gets preferential treatment because he is the only black driver. Lewis gets hate for his clothes, Lando seems to live in black or white. Lewis active support of BLM got him criticism because he should just stick to racing, however Lando’s vocal support of BLM, his support of Mind and his genuinely sweet support and friendship with Sir Captain Tom Moore was applauded. Lewis speaks his mind, gets slated. Lando speaks his mind, gets slated by his fans but Joe public F1 fans think he amazing for speaking his mind. There are people who actively oppose his knighthood. When you see what other sport stars have been given knighthood for in this country, 5 and 6 times Olympic Gold Medalist, 2 x Wimbledon Winner and 2 x Olympic Gold Medalist. I think he’s in that elite bracket now dont you? Lando is celebrated for just not be Lewis by some Brits. Is it any wonder George keeps his mouth shut?"

I am thinking. I really didn't know Lando was that deep - and honestly after learning more about him straight from his fans mouth's I still don't, but the Lando lore does have meaning. Amazing. Either way, people cannot claim this was all one time road rage if Carlos' commented that Lando goes into terrible moods even while playing golf. GOLF. Mayhaps a therapist could help. However, since he did apologise and then managed to keep his mouth shut about Lance and congratulated Lewis on his WDC later on, one must not dwell too much on these things. I rate this one a 3 out of 5 world records.

2) COVIDgate

This was low. Like, very low. Basically, Max Fewtrell did a livestream and discussed going to Dubai for the holidays (around December 29, 2020. wow all of these really happened in like a week). Max basically made it seem as if Lando would join him and @sebastonstroll, braver than the US marines actually caught some blurry screenshots of Lando's arm and wristwatch during one of the Dubai streams (actually, that was a joke. but God liked and subscribed so I think maybe we could call it "pioneering" instead). That's all fine, I mean, places are there to be visited, except there is this little thing called a "coronavirus" or something I'm not a doctor, which means that you kinda should stay at home…. and there is like, the Law or something that kinda makes it so you have to stay at home as well. I am not an expert on any of these things, but it sounds like Somerset, where Lando lives, was in a Tier 3 Lockdown, which means "sit yo ass down", so the plate was served.

Now, it was the holidays, we were all frustrated I'm sure and overall, there wasn't a lot of meat on that beef stew for one to actually feel well-fed, so there were again discussions on the ethics of stalking, how thin was the line between stanning and paranoia and why. Most fans kinda relaxed and reached the conclusion there was no way this could be real since there was a tier 3 lockdown and Lando was just home for Christmas, but as the days went and suspicious screencaps showed up online, it was harder to discern the benefit of the doubt from denial.

Thankfully, there was no need to keep that debate going for long. Not so fortunately, that was because Lando joined the ranks of F1 drivers ahead of the game who didn't wait for the vaccine to become immune themselves.

The question that remained was: is he isolating in England, or in Dubai? Don't worry fellas, McLaren got him!

Considering Lando was as good as caught, McLaren took no time to 'fess up, and I mean, what would be the point to try and cover up if the whole purpose of Dubai during the pandemic is to be a safe haven for the rich and privileged to have parties for the 'Gram, right? However, they chose an intcheresting expression, "training camp". So, he was there for a scheduled team training camp… but he arrived there early… Ok, maybe so he could have a 14-day quarantine… except that didn't really land because if you knew where to look up you could even see his brother was in an ice rink one day after Lando announced his COVID diagnosis - and arguably as a "contact case" he should also be in quarantine. But that's fine, it's a team training camp and these things are common…. except Danny Ric didn't get the memo because he was doing a tour in Los Angeles as well. Well fuck me, then, Lando legitimate, royally, fucked that one up.

Talking to the Lando side of the website, no one was particularly happy. Doubts were raised about how people reacted to Lando's announcement in comparison to Pierre's or Charles', but like, I don't think one thing outweighs the other, and I agree with the sentiment that people were reasonably madder at Lando because he always sold the image of being a socially conscious person, while Charles' has always been dumb as all fuck and no one is really checking for Pierre, let's be honest. (well, we are checking for Pierre. more of that on #1). I asked the folks how they felt about McLaren's response as well, and the answers basically varied from "good on them" to "they totally lied to cover his ass lmao". At last, there were some valid points on how we're not entitled to know where Lando goes or what he is doing, fair, but then again, we're not exactly in the most "normal" of times, and there were a few sweethearts who were like "sincerely, I didn't even registered he had fucked up until after I digested the fact he had COVID, I was too busy being worried about him and wanting him to be healthy". Overall, the lowest of lows, really, no one was happy. I rate this begrudgingly a 4 out of 5 covid positive F1 drivers, genuinely not taking any pleasure in this.

1) Pierregate - I'm not gonna call this anything else. Too funny.

The one personality trait I was sure Lando had prior to 2021 was that he was thirsty. Like, mega thirsty. There are screencaps as far as July 2019 of him using his official IG account to like posts of Instagram models, which to me is most pleasing and amusing. I particularly enjoyed this compilation from @opendirection that led me the right way and no, I don't think Lando should use his finsta to get girls, or attempt to. He should be clear, he is here for coochi, so am I, coochi is great.

Enter Katerina Berezhna, a model/entrepreneur currently based in Dubai, and hot, very hot. Katerina had been in Lando's radar since September 2020 at the very least. They would have regulary IG activity - very well received by the most patrician of Lando fans, as you can see and by the Abu Dhabi GP, when he said he was taken, she was the most likely candidate to the role.

Covidgate comes and with it, some curious activity of Katerina. Seemingly, she takes down pictures of herself at the beach after the announcement and replaces them with pictures in her room, watching Netflix or doing yoga, kinda making it seem as if she was quarantining too. I don't come here, so I won't claim this is true, but I will tell you she has stories from Dubai up in her highlights and you can do the math that the yoga selfies that are up are from that time frame, so she was mostly indoors, officially at least.

Pierre gets to Dubai around the same time and also decides to party. Not only is he seen, but he is also perceived and pics of him in a party go around, we're all like "fucking hell Pierre, wear a mask, Lando just got COVID". However, if you go to the insta highlights I linked up there, the story right after the yoga pics is a story of Katerina in a beach party… where Pierre and her got clocked at together.

This is awkward. Anyway, the math was done by the most dedicated of Lando and Pierre stans alike, but this only blew up after right at the end of January, Pear also got, as they say it in French, l'infection.

After this, we got a very hard-hitting investigative piece of journalism by @ef-1, who uncovered how far their beef went: they don't follow each other on IG and as far as February, Pierre made a point of not liking Lando posts on McLaren's profile. This gave birth to one of my favourite screenshots of all time:

(btw, here's a picture of Pierre and Katerina FACTUALLY together. I have found none of Lando with Katerina)

Pierregate ranks the highest out of them all because it just brings out the best of all these people: Pierre has a history of being petty out of nothing, Lando has a history of not being able to get any and Katerina is so hot. None of the Lando stans that came to talk to me are actually in the sector that gave a real shit about this besides amusement and disgust at the fact they were most likely kissing the same mouth during a pandemic. Either way, it's their life and none of our business……. but this is so INTERESTING THO.

I would just like to state by the way: Katerina isn't a gold digger per se just because she dated or flirted with two formula 1 drivers, but IF SHE WAS, good for her. There is nothing more girlboss empowering than a Real Gold Digger™, and you know, many Sugar Baby/Daddy relationships are based on sexist concepts, while proper gold digging is one of the most sublime forms of historical reparations out there. I stand with my fellow opportunists. Good for you. I rank this a 5 out of 5 models that Lando liked an Instagram post of.

ROUND-UP: WHAT DID I LEARN FROM THIS

Well, I'm gonna be real with you all: my opinion of Lando and his fandom was very low before talking to his fans and actually looking deep at his controversies. It seems I'm not the only one, as all the fans I talked about quoted at some point the whole toxicity of the fandom and let the steam out. While I do think people take it TOO far when it comes to him, and it's not just here, all social media involving Lando are cesspools in one way or another, I do feel like I can relate to people more. To many, Lando is a young driver that is relatable, a lot of you were in the 20s age gap (and there are younger folks of course) who just has the sort of sense of humour and concerns that we do. There is still a great identity aspect of him being a British McLaren drivers, which is so strong a pull considering this is one of the greatest teams there are and Brits have historically bred world champions, who knows, Lando could be the next one.

That being said, I still kinda don't vibe with him. Not my type. But I do hope that 2021 brings a Lando that stays in his lane for the sake of internet and because my guy could take a break. It seems he is going on the right direction and taking F1 seriously, but also I hope he doesn't try to rehabilitate his image (not that he needs to, but clearly he WANTS to rebrand) too much to the point of losing himself. Also, I did not touch on this week's drama because I even asked around and people weren't able to tell me properly what happened, so there isn't anything much. I hope he behaved well though, if he didn't then I guess it's time to update this post lol.

Anyway, I guess my point is that everyone is kinda crazy, but I do think that Lando fans are kinda cool now. I cannot repeat this enough, thank you to everyone who spared some time to talk to me and let me know the scoops. This was your girl formulinos in a redux version of the Hyperfixation Corner - stay tuned for the next one that is done, but I needed to take a proper breather from it, you'll get why soon, I hope! Screw you guys, I'm going home :)

21/03/2020 - NEW ENTRY - SEXISMGATE In the words of the great philosopher Jake Paul, "it's everyday bro". The latest entry in the Landogate compilation is a series of clips taken from streams done by Max Fewtrell (at this point laid ease, honestly, if you guys stan Max F. I recommend a doctor, ngl) featuring Lando. Just a few days ago, a very progressive conversation was had during a game session (or whatever you call it, I'm not a gamer girl) of Escape From Tarkov. The clips have been cropped around and shared by @carlandonorri-s (big shout out to you, braver than US marines etc), but I got them backed up on streamable :D. Summaries:

1) Lando says that if a girl talks to you about star signs, you should leave. They talk about a certain girl Max "never had" that could have sat down next to him one night and this elicits a strong reaction from the streamers. Lando adds "you might have been made to sit next to her one night and she might have coughed on you". A charmer.

2) Allusions to calling a girl "cowboy" and "this might not be the only snake in my boot". Max thinks it's not a dig, just funny. Lando has referred to the same person as "cowboy" and "cowgirl" in yesterday's stream on Max's page as well (rather curious how I haven't seen yet the same conversations in Lando's streams, only in Max's less famous ones lol).

I will disclaim I don't have it in me to watch full vidya streams because I don't get what's fun in them, so if there are any further clips out there, yeah they're out there <3. Kush @sebastonstroll (who also ripped the last clip I talked about! Thanks for that) whistleblew and did the post that gained more traction, there are a few commentary posts out there as well (in particular this one from @babettevdw is very neat) and overall, not a good look. I have no personal hot take from this, men are pigs and I think that's it. I was waiting for the apology tweets but to be quite honest due to the sheer volume of "but if this was a woman talking about a man you wouldn't care" and "what about that time this driver said women can't drive" I highly doubt Lando will say something as his new strategy is to lay low - and I don't give a shit about if Max F apologises or not as he will probably never do something relevant in F1 anyway let's be honest. I rate this a 1/5 incel face structure pic due to the fact that if Lando's dad didn't have any money he wouldn't even be in F1 and have the chance to travel around the globe and meet hot chicks. Chaldish.

16/08/2021 - NEW ENTRY - MEXICANGATE

We had managed to spend almost 5 whole months without a Landogate everyone, so of course that when a new one happened, it would be A Doozy.

Let's set the mood: you're rich, you're finally in a good moment in your career, you are moderately ok looking, you have freeloading friends and a instagram/tik tok girl on a yacht and it's the summer. You're at the top of the world, basically, and you and your lads still find the time to be just... whatever this is

On Instagram even. With videos too. A bit extra, I'd say.

There was already a pretty perfect post by @maxricciardo on the subject of cultural appropriation and why this sort of display is not humorous, just prejudicial, so I won't elongate myself much on it. I will, however, pull my "As A Latina" card and say that I'm not surprised that's in its majority, a bunch of European Lads on Tour doing this since they tick all the boxes of privileged to think it's funny to do it.

Obviously, I don't want to talk on the name of Mexicans in particular and I don't even think that it's pleasant to go and Ask Your Local Mexican if this is ok or not, but I can draw parallels with my culture and say that when there are cultural parties here and foreigners come, even people who come from the Western Euro/North American are, they are more than welcome to take part in our culture WITH us and wear whatever you want WITH OUR CONSENT under a respectful environment and context. What these guys are doing, however, is basically take a stereotype derived of years and years of humiliating oppression perpetrated by biased accounts and media and laugh it off on their little bubble. It always hurts to me when I see accounts of Brazil being talked about as nothing besides drug trafficking and sexual tourism, I don't need to extrapolate too much to think about how it feels for my fellow Latinos.

And that's another important things I want to get in, I've seen a lot of people claim this was racist, and here's a lil fun fact: we can't tell. We don't know. Our concept of race is incredibly different from the one adopted by Europeans and North Americans, who lump us all into one ethnicity ("latino") and try to tell us we're POC even though, depending on the place you're at, you couldn't tell the difference between here and Germany. This is not cool by the way, because unlike the myth that says that Latin America is a big haven for the plurality of cultures (and it is, the sheer fact we have had different colonisers, influences from a lot of countries, the indigenous presence, unfortunately the influx of African cultures too because of slavery, people who ran away from wars in their countries, etc etc), we all suffered because of "Whitening", that is, the racist insistence of making sure that people had mixed children with white people to improve our bloodline. The result is that our race is very much something we identify socially with and a lot of people who read as POC outside of Latin America aren't considered POC here. That's not to say it wasn't wrong just because "it wasn't funny". It's xenophobic, it's prejudice, it's everything else and a bit more.

To make matters worse, I unfortunately have to talk about the reactions of the fanbase because during this write-up, I usually checked the reactions of the Landosphere and talked to Lando fans, but this time I didn't need to because a lot of them showed their asses on social media, for free. People claimed that Lando is persecuted, that it was just funny and that it made sense to wear those costumes on a Mexican-themed party, saying that if you can't do this you can't wear Lederhosen in German parties either, and that's the point innit? Germans, Dutch, French, whatever.... they WERE the colonisers. At the very least the colonies in Europe were far more comfortable and less ravaged than the Africans, the Latin Americans, and when you look around, you see the influence in Asia too and it's not a good look (again I can't speak for everyone so if any of you want to drop a comment on how you resent Imperialism etc. feel free to). You're not mocked, at the very least you get laughed a bit but you're not REDUCED to just this as part of your identity. Sorry for the lack of eloquence, it just hit a little too close to home.

So, honestly, I'm done here with the Landogates because I don't want to have to see whatever he did next - and I never needed to, I started these because they were amusing and it felt like the noise they made were not proportional to the actions of the driver, but nowadays it feels like he's having the opposite of character growth, enabled by the fans who believe he can't do any wrong or that he is just a kid. The discussion about problematic faves is a whoooole other topic, but at the very least if you're not ready to unstan, just shut up, take the L and let people rip him off for a day. Stay on your lane when you know there is no defense.

To those of you who were very nice while talking to me, thanks a lot! To those of you who stopped stanning him at some point, don't worry, there is always another driver. And to those of you who think I'm wrong etc, I suppose you're entitled to, but I also do suggest that you evaluate if it's worth it you know.

I rate this a 0/5 and I am tapping out.

#hyperfixation corner #lando norris #to be honest this isn't even banter i was really curious after seeing yet another landogate on the tag i just had to know what is up #my conclusions are these #i hope the other lando stans don't take this personally i tried to be fair while also being partial because well you know

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