#waterproof eyeshadow is impressive

[ssaalexblake]

if some makeup company has missed the chance to use an artistic swimmer as a brand ambassador then What are their marketing departments Doing???

if i actually wore makeup and saw how good these swimmers' waterproof stuff was, i'd buy it. I'm impressed from a scientific standpoint.

[rcmclachlan]

That makeup poll reminded me of when you used to do the makeup giveaways and lipstick recommendations. What have you been wearing lately?

Holy moly, I'd completely forgotten about the giveaways! Talk about a blast from the past. The last one I did (according to my #giveaway tag) was 8 whole-ass years ago. Absolutely wild.

Anyway, hit the jump to see what I'm rocking these days as far as makeup goes:

Here was today's look. Admittedly, it was a teensy bit more than my usual day-to-day look, since I went out to lunch with one of my closest friends (who always looks 13/10).

Anyway, let's pretend it's 2014 again and do a makeup look breakdown.

Most of what I wear these days is drug store makeup. The prestige brands must be sweating bullets, because the drug store brands have really stepped up their game.

Lipstick:

I've been really disappointed with Beauty Bakerie's formula over the last couple of years—it just doesn't have the staying power it once did. Probably because the company has been in a tailspin since like 2019. I think it just got bought out.

So my go-to for the last year or so has been Maybelline's Super Stay Matte Ink Liquid Lipstick. I'm super impressed with both the longevity of the wear and the color selection. Since I started dyeing my hair teal, "Romantic" (#30) has been my shade of choice.

The Matte Ink Liquid Lip goes on pretty thick and tacky, and it takes a long time to dry down on its own. I'm not that patient. My recommendation is to dry it in stages with a hair dryer on the lowest heat setting. Apply your bottom lip first, dry it completely, then repeat with your upper lip. Once it's dry, it ain't budging. It will last all day and through all types of meals, including soups and oil-based foods.

Also, it's $9.19 at Target and even less on Amazon. All the staying power of OG Beauty Bakerie and half the price!

Mascara:

I use two mascaras, because I have two sets of lashes that need to do two different things.

Bottom lashes: E.L.F. Lash XTNDR. Because bottom lashes are much more delicate, a regular defining mascara is fine. E.L.F.'s mascara gives me length and definition without clumps or flaking. My eyes aren't irritated by it at the end of the day, either, which is always a plus. Currently $7.00 on Amazon.

Top lashes: Maybelline's The Colossal (waterproof). This was actually recommended to me by a coworker. Her lashes always looked incredible and when she told me it was Maybelline I was floored. No Tarte, no Too Faced, no Benefit, and no Urban Decay has ever given me the definition, length, and fullness that I get with The Colossal. I wear waterproof because my lashes are stick straight and, even after being curled with a curler, will fall after 30 minutes with a regular mascara. It's currently $7.73 on Amazon!

Eyeshadow

I don't really wear eyeshadow on the regular anymore, mostly because I get so much glam from the mascara that I don't need it. But when I want to go the extra mile, my tried and true is a prestige brand, but it's lasted me forever so it was well worth the price.

The Urban Decay NAKED palettes really do live up to the hype. I got myself the NAKED3 version about a year ago, which has more pinky-neutral tones that really complement my skin tone and green eyes.

Because I have hooded eyes, I don't go crazy with it (it's not like you'd see a lot of it anyway). I stick with one to two matte shades ("Limit" and "Nooner"), and then I'll use one of the dark shades ("Darkside") as eyeliner. Hooded eyes means having more eyelid skin, which doesn't always jive with liquid liners or pens. I have an easier time applying a thin line of shadow with a tapered eyeshadow brush (again, nothing fancy or winged—my eyelid/brow folds eat most of it anyway).

The NAKED palettes are pretty pricey at $59 each, but a couple of times a year Ulta does a 50% sale and you can get them for $24.50!

Foundation

Sike! I'm 37 years old and I still don't know how to apply foundation or how to contour. At this point, I'm too afraid to try.

Luckily, I have my mom's good skin and I stay out of the sun as much as I possibly can (and wear sunscreen every day no matter what), so I don't really need it.

+

So, for those of you who wear makeup: what are your go-to's? I'll happily take recommendations!

[animationmovieshipps]

From Rags to Riches: Chapter 3

After a week working at the agency, you were finally going to be part of your first fashion show. You barely managed to sleep the night before, you were so anxious.

Since you were little, all you dreamed of was walking down a catwalk, now it was finally so much closer than far, it made you feel a little strange.

You remained still as the makeup artist carefully applied shimmery gold eyeshadow to your eyelids to match the clothes you'd use.

"Open your eyes, hon." She asked.

You slowly opened both of your eyes, the intensity of your gaze combined with the makeup left the girl completely stunned.

"Uh, are you okay?" You asked her, noticing her strange behavior.

"Sorry about that, it's just that in all these years working as a makeup artist, I've never seen beauty like yours." She explained.

You smiled. No matter how many times you heard someone say that, you were happy as if it was the first time you heard it.

"Thanks."

"Well, you're ready to go." She said with a smile. "Do you want to check on yourself?"

"Is that a question to ask?" You said between laughs. "Of course I want."

"Then get up and turn around."

You stood up from the chair and smoothed the skirt of your dress, before turning around and finally seeing how you looked reflected in front of the large mirror. You were completely speechless as you admired yourself.

You looked like another person, but you knew it was you.

You had dreamed of that moment so many times, if you were still dreaming, you never wanted to wake up. The makeup artist soon noticed the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes.

"Oh sweetheart, don't cry." She said, resting her hands on your shoulders. "Or the makeup will be all smudged, the waterproof makeup won't arrive until next week."

"I'm not crying." You denied it, laughing, managing to contain the tears of emotion that wanted to escape your eyes.

"But you almost were..."

"Attention, girls!" Ms. Melanie, the owner of the agency, entered the models' dressing room, clapping her hands and making a fuss to draw everyone's attention to her.

"What happened?" You asked confused. "Any problems with the catwalk?"

"Satan save me from this happening, bitch." She retorted. "I came to tell you that my business partner brought a very important guest today, so it's best for you guys to continue with your jobs that you make a good impression on him."

"Wait, who exactly is 'he'?" Liana asked.

"No one important, just the most powerful being in all of Hell." She responded sarcastically, which made you all gasp in surprise.

"Lucifer?" Lauren asked, still surprised. "I don't think I've ever seen him in person."

"Well, people say he's very handsome in person." Reina commented between giggles.

"Really?" Danila asked with a smile. "I hope I get to see him."

"Yes, he's handsome as fuck, but you're not being paid to make goggle eyes to him, so just focus on doing your job." MS. Melanie warned sternly.

"Yes, ma'am." Lauren and Danila nodded obediently.

You were lucky you've never seen the King of Hell in person or through photos. You didn't make a point of wanting to know about the person who probably put your own species on the margins of Hell's society.

You probably wouldn't recognize him so you wouldn't be nervous.

Lucifer sat in the seat reserved for him in the front row and put on his sunglasses, knowing that the lights from the audience would bother his eyes.

Fashion shows weren't really his idea of fun, but he decided he would at least try to entertain himself at that event.

"Oh, that's one of my best dresses." Velvette whispered in his ear as the first model walked in and walked down the catwalk.

"It's definitely very beautiful." He commented, scratching the itch inside his ear that was caused by that whisper.

You waited anxiously for your turn. Even with all your nervousness, you felt a good feeling filling your chest, it was finally your turn to shine.

You walked until you were visible to the audience and struck a pose, only seeing the flashes of the cameras that were taking many photos of you, the lights that illuminated all over the catwalk made you only see partially.

Resting one hand on your waist, you walked down the catwalk, feeling that everyone's eyes were on you.

The moment he laid eyes on you, the bored expression on Lucifer's face slowly softened. It would never have crossed his mind that he would find something that would catch his eye at that fashion show.

The King felt overwhelmed by feelings he never thought he could ever feel again. There was something about you that was beyond his understanding, but for the first time in so many years, he felt his heart beat faster for someone.

When he realized it, he was already completely fascinated by everything about you, from your elegant walk, to the curved shape of your body, your penetrating gaze, your lips, tail, horns, hair and even the reddish tone of your skin.

He had to take off his glasses so he could see you better.

"Who is the girl?" He asked Velvette, yearning for an answer.

"I have no idea." The overlord replied in an uninterested tone of voice. "She must be a new model that was recently chosen. I must say that she is very beautiful, despite being an imp."

"It doesn't matter." He murmured. Even though you had already left the catwalk, your beautiful image was still engraved in his memory like a photograph. But even so, he didn't wanted, he needed to see you again. "I want that girl."

[hazeltailofficial]

VALENTINE'S DAY FLASHBACK

Revlon ColorStay Whipped Creme Makeup in 110 Ivory Revlon PhotoReady Concealer in 001 Fair CoverGirl Clean Pressed Powder in 105 Ivory Nyx Powder Blush in Taupe Benefit Watt's Up! Cream Highlighter Make Up For Ever HD High Definition Powder Anastasia Beverly Hills Brow Wiz in Ash Blonde e.l.f. Eyelid Primer Laura Mercier Caviar Stick Eye Colour in Rose Gold Urban Decay Naked Basics Palette Stila Magnificent Metals Eyeshadow in Metallic Dusty Rose Lancome Artliner in Noir Sephora False Lashes in Astonish Kiss Clear Strip Lash Adhesive L'Oreal Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara Rimmel London Scandal Eyes Waterproof Kohl Kajal in 005 Nude Rimmel London Soft Kohl Kajal Eyeliner Pencil in 071 Pure White Jack Black Intense Therapy Lip Balm in Black Tea & Blackberry Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick in Infrared Matte Drybar Detox Dry Shampoo

TUTORIAL + REVIEW BLOG POST

Sephora Glitz & Glam Set Tutorial + Review/First Impressions

hazeltail on youtube / hazeltailofficial on tiktok / hazeltailofficial on ig / @hazeltailofficial / @hazeltail

[nozimahusainova]

Mascara Magic_ Instantly Awake Eyes for Busy Girls Battling Fatigue with Nozima Husainova

Nozima Husainova

Mascara Magic: Instantly Awake Eyes for Busy Girls Battling Fatigue with Nozima Husainova

In today’s fast-paced world, busy girls often find themselves juggling multiple responsibilities, leaving little time for rest and relaxation. The signs of fatigue, particularly around the eyes, can be challenging to hide. However, with the right makeup tricks, specifically using mascara, you can achieve instantly awake eyes that brighten your appearance and boost your confidence. This blog explores various mascara techniques and additional eye makeup tips to help busy girls look refreshed and revitalized, even on the most hectic days.

Choosing the Right Mascara Formula

Selecting the right mascara formula is crucial for achieving wide-awake eyes. There are various types of mascaras available, each designed to address specific needs such as lengthening, volumizing, curling, or defining lashes. For busy girls, a mascara that combines multiple benefits, such as length and volume, can save time and deliver impressive results.

Lengthening mascaras are ideal for those with shorter lashes, providing an extended, fluttery look that opens up the eyes. Volumizing mascaras add thickness and fullness, creating a bold and dramatic effect. Experts like Nozima Husainova mention that curling mascaras lift the lashes, making the eyes appear larger and more alert. Opt for a waterproof formula to ensure your look stays intact throughout the day, regardless of humidity or tears.

Proper Mascara Application Techniques

The way you apply mascara can significantly impact the overall appearance of your eyes. Begin by curling your lashes with an eyelash curler, which helps to lift and separate them, creating a more open and awake look. Apply a thin coat of mascara to the base of your lashes, wiggling the wand back and forth to ensure even coverage and prevent clumping.

For added volume and length, apply a second coat of mascara, focusing on the tips of your lashes. Use a zigzag motion to separate and define each lash. Don’t forget to apply mascara to your lower lashes as well, but use a light hand to avoid smudging. These techniques can help maximize the effect of your mascara, giving your eyes a bright and alert appearance as highlighted by leaders such as Nozima Husainova.

Using a Lash Primer for Enhanced Results

A lash primer can be a game-changer in your mascara routine. Lash primers are designed to condition and prepare your lashes for mascara application, enhancing the effects of your chosen formula. Primers add volume and length, creating a smooth base that helps mascara adhere better and last longer.

To use a lash primer, apply it to clean, dry lashes before your mascara. Allow the primer to dry for a few seconds, then follow with your regular mascara application. Industry leaders including Nozima Husainova convey that the primer not only boosts the mascara’s performance but also helps protect and strengthen your lashes over time. This extra step can make a significant difference in achieving instantly awake eyes that look fresh and vibrant.

Complementary Eye Makeup Tips

In addition to mascara, other eye makeup techniques can enhance the illusion of awake and alert eyes. Using a nude or white eyeliner on your lower waterline can make your eyes appear larger and more open. This trick counteracts redness and creates a brightening effect, perfect for combating the look of fatigue.

Highlighting the inner corners of your eyes with a shimmery, light-colored eyeshadow can also make your eyes appear more awake as pointed out by experts like Nozima Husainova. Apply the highlighter to the tear ducts and blend it slightly onto the lids. This simple step reflects light and draws attention to your eyes, making them look brighter and more refreshed.

Maintaining Lash Health

Healthy lashes are the foundation of a great mascara application. Incorporate lash care into your beauty routine to ensure your lashes remain strong and vibrant. Remove mascara thoroughly at the end of each day using a gentle makeup remover to avoid buildup and potential lash breakage.

Consider using a lash serum or conditioner to nourish and strengthen your lashes. These products promote lash growth and prevent brittleness, ensuring your lashes stay full and healthy. A good diet, rich in vitamins and minerals, also supports lash health. By maintaining your lashes, you can enhance the effectiveness of your mascara and achieve a naturally awake look.

Quick Fixes for On-the-Go Touch-Ups

Busy girls need quick and effective solutions for touch-ups throughout the day. Carry a travel-sized mascara and a lash comb in your makeup bag for easy application on the go. If your mascara smudges or clumps during the day, use the lash comb to separate and define your lashes, restoring their fresh appearance.

For added brightness, keep a nude eyeliner and a small highlighter stick handy. These tools allow you to quickly refresh your eye makeup, ensuring you maintain a bright and awake look even during the busiest of days. Quick touch-ups can make a significant difference in your overall appearance as noted by leaders such as Nozima Husainova, helping you stay confident and polished.

Achieving instantly awake eyes is possible even for the busiest of girls, with the right mascara techniques and complementary eye makeup tips. By choosing the appropriate mascara formula, mastering application techniques, using a lash primer, and incorporating additional eye makeup tricks, you can effectively combat the signs of fatigue. Maintaining lash health and carrying quick-fix tools for on-the-go touch-ups ensure you always look your best, regardless of how hectic your schedule may be. Embrace these tips to enhance your natural beauty and keep your eyes looking bright, alert, and refreshed throughout the day.

[jessmaasbeauty]

Australian Brides’ Favourite Natural Makeup Products for a Radiant Wedding Look

Australian brides are known for their effortless, natural beauty. On their wedding day, many choose makeup products that enhance their features while maintaining a fresh and radiant look. If you're planning your wedding and want to achieve that quintessential Aussie glow, here are some of the favourite natural makeup products that can help you look stunning on your big day.

1. Skin Preparation

A flawless makeup look starts with well-prepped skin. Here are some top-rated products to ensure your skin is in perfect condition for your wedding day.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Invisible Fluid SPF50+: Protecting your skin from the harsh Australian sun is crucial. This lightweight, non-greasy sunscreen provides high protection without leaving a white cast, making it a favourite among brides.

The Ordinary Hyaluronic Acid 2% + B5: Hydrated skin is essential for a natural glow. This budget-friendly serum is loved for its ability to deeply hydrate and plump the skin, creating a smooth canvas for makeup.

2. Primer

A good primer helps to create a smooth base and ensures your makeup lasts all day.

Hourglass Veil Mineral Primer: This primer is a favourite for its ability to blur imperfections and control oil without feeling heavy on the skin. It also has SPF 15, adding an extra layer of sun protection.

Too Faced Hangover Replenishing Face Primer: Infused with coconut water and skin-loving ingredients, this primer hydrates and brightens the skin, perfect for achieving that radiant look.

3. Foundation

For a natural wedding look, lightweight foundations that offer buildable coverage are ideal.

NARS Sheer Glow Foundation: This foundation is beloved for its luminous finish and ability to even out skin tone without looking cakey. It provides a radiant, natural look that lasts all day.

IT Cosmetics Your Skin But Better CC+ Cream: Combining the benefits of a foundation and skincare, this CC cream offers full coverage while hydrating and protecting the skin with SPF 50+. It’s perfect for brides who want a natural, dewy finish.

4. Concealer

To cover any blemishes, dark circles, or redness, a good concealer is a must.

Maybelline Fit Me Concealer: Known for its natural finish and impressive coverage, this drugstore favourite is perfect for brightening the under-eye area and concealing imperfections.

Tarte Shape Tape Concealer: This full-coverage concealer is loved for its long-lasting formula and ability to brighten the under-eye area without creasing.

5. Blush

Adding a natural flush to your cheeks is essential for a fresh, bridal look.

NARS Orgasm Blush: This iconic blush is a favourite for its universally flattering peachy-pink shade with a hint of shimmer, adding a natural glow to the cheeks.

Glossier Cloud Paint: This gel-cream blush is easy to apply and blend, offering a natural, dewy finish. The shade 'Dusk' is particularly popular for its subtle, warm tone.

6. Highlighter

A subtle highlighter can enhance your natural features and add a beautiful glow.

Becca Shimmering Skin Perfector: This highlighter is praised for its creamy texture and ability to create a natural, luminous finish. The shade 'Champagne Pop' is especially popular.

RMS Beauty Living Luminizer: For a more natural sheen, this highlighter is a great choice. Its coconut oil base provides a subtle, dewy glow that looks incredible in photos.

7. Eyeshadow

Soft, neutral eyeshadows are perfect for a natural bridal look.

Urban Decay Naked2 Basics Palette: This palette offers a range of neutral matte shades that are ideal for creating a soft, natural eye look. The shadows are easy to blend and long-lasting.

Charlotte Tilbury Pillow Talk Eyeshadow Palette: This palette features romantic, rosy hues that add a soft touch of colour to the eyes, perfect for a bridal look.

8. Mascara

Long, voluminous lashes can make your eyes pop without the need for heavy eyeliner.

Maybelline Lash Sensational Waterproof Mascara: This mascara is loved for its ability to add length and volume without clumping. Its waterproof formula ensures it stays put through tears and long hours.

Benefit They’re Real! Mascara: Known for its lengthening and volumizing effects, this mascara helps create natural-looking lashes that last all day.

9. Lips

For soft, natural lips, choose shades that enhance your natural lip colour.

MAC Lipstick in Velvet Teddy: This matte lipstick is a cult favourite for its flattering nude shade that suits a variety of skin tones.

Burt’s Bees Tinted Lip Balm: For a more subtle look, this tinted lip balm provides a hint of colour while keeping lips moisturised. The shade 'Rose' is a popular choice for its natural, rosy tint.

10. Setting Spray

To ensure your makeup stays flawless throughout the day, a good setting spray is essential.

Urban Decay All Nighter Setting Spray: This setting spray is renowned for its ability to keep makeup in place for up to 16 hours, making it a favourite among brides.

MAC Prep + Prime Fix+: This multi-use spray can be used to set makeup, hydrate the skin, and refresh your look throughout the day. It’s a versatile addition to any bridal makeup kit.

By incorporating these favourite natural makeup products into your bridal routine, you can achieve a radiant and timeless look that enhances your natural beauty. Whether you’re after a dewy finish, a subtle flush of colour, or long-lasting coverage, these products will help you look and feel your best on your wedding day.

[skincaresavers]

A Deep Dive into the Clarins Instant Eye Make Up Remover 125ml

The delicate skin around our eyes deserves the utmost care and attention, especially when it comes to removing makeup. Enter the Clarins Instant Eye Make Up Remover 125ml, a hero product that promises to whisk away even the most stubborn waterproof mascara and long-wearing eyeshadow without tugging or irritation.

First Impressions: Luxe Meets Efficacy

From the moment you hold the sleek, blue and gold bottle of the Clarins Instant Eye Make Up Remover, you know you're in for a luxurious experience. The bi-phase formula, a delightful blend of an oil and a water-based solution, separates into two distinct layers as it sits undisturbed. But upon shaking, it transforms into a silky emulsion that feels oh-so-gentle on the skin.

Melting Away Makeup Like Magic

This remover is no joke when it comes to tackling tough makeup. A generous swipe across the eyes, and waterproof mascara, long-wearing eyeliner, and even stubborn shimmer shadows melt away effortlessly. No need for harsh rubbing or tugging – the formula does the heavy lifting, leaving your eyes feeling soothed and refreshed.

Gentle Enough for Sensitive Souls

If you have sensitive eyes or wear contact lenses, fret not! The Clarins Instant Eye Make Up Remover is ophthalmologist and dermatologist-tested, making it suitable for even the most delicate peepers. Its gentle, fragrance-free formula leaves no stinging or irritation, just clean, comfortable skin.

Beyond Makeup Removal: A Nourishing Treat

This remover goes beyond simply removing makeup. Its bi-phase formula is infused with soothing rose and cornflower waters, along with ultra-fine oils, to nourish and condition the delicate lashes and eyelids. After each use, my lashes felt soft, supple, and even appeared a tad bit longer – a welcome bonus!

The Verdict: A Worthy Investment for Flawless Eyes

While the Clarins Instant Eye Make Up Remover might come with a slightly higher price tag compared to some drugstore options, its luxurious experience, efficacy, and gentle touch make it a worthwhile investment in your eye care routine. Consider it a pampering ritual for your precious peepers, a chance to unwind after a long day and greet the morning with fresh, radiant eyes.

So, if you're on the hunt for a makeup remover that delivers on its promises, look no further than the Clarins Instant Eye Make Up Remover 125ml. It's a winner in my book, and I have a feeling it will become a fast favorite in yours too!

Have you tried the Clarins Instant Eye Make Up Remover? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below! I hope this blog post was helpful and informative. Please let me know if you have any other questions

[hairstyleforteen]

Top 5 Best Eyeshadow Primers

We put a lot of effort into achieving the right look, and eyeshadow products are a large part of that process. Using eyeshadow primer is essential to make your eyeshadow look flawless and last longer. However, finding the best eyeshadow primer can be a daunting task due to the multitude of options available in the market. In this article, we have narrowed down five of the best eyeshadow primers that will make your life a little easier. Best Eye shadow Premier 1. Milani Eyeshadow Primer Nude  Milani Eyeshadow Primer is a top choice for achieving a long-lasting, optimal look. This primer can be applied with any cream or powder eyeshadow, significantly extending its duration. Unlike many other primers, the effects of Milani Eyeshadow Primer last for over 8 hours. It provides an invisible finish, ensuring a high-quality look that stays put throughout the day. 2. NYX Cosmetics Eye Shadow Base NYX Cosmetics Eye Shadow Base offers three different varieties/tones to choose from. This versatile primer allows you to intensify the color of any eyeshadow tone. It effectively boosts the vibrancy and longevity of your eyeshadow, allowing you to wear your desired look for an extended period. NYX Cosmetics Eye Shadow Base is known for its adaptability to different skin types, making it one of the best eyeshadow primers in the market. You also Might Check out This: Best Bleaching Cream Products For All Skin Types 3. Thank Me Later Eyeshadow Primer by Elizabeth Mott Specializing in maintaining your eyeshadow throughout the day, Thank Me Later Eyeshadow Primer by Elizabeth Mott is highly recommended by numerous users. This cruelty-free product locks in your eyeshadow, ensuring it stays in place all day long. The formula is also available as a free sample, allowing you to try it before making a purchase. It is considered one of the best waterproof eyeshadow primer formulas available. 4. Too Faced Cosmetics, Shadow Insurance For a long-lasting eyeshadow primer, look no further than Too Faced Cosmetics' Shadow Insurance. This primer excels at maintaining your look for the long haul. The unique binders in the formula ensure that the eyeshadow color adheres to your eyes for a significantly longer period compared to most primers. Enriched with Vitamin E, this primer provides essential nutrients to the delicate eye area, moisturizing and reducing the signs of aging. It soothes the eye rather than causing irritation. You also Might Check out This: 5 Of The Best Skin Lightening Creams Worth Trying 5. Ruby Kisses 24-Hour Eyeshadow Primer Ruby Kisses 24 Hour Eyeshadow Primer stands out as one of the most easily applicable primers. Users find it blends eyeshadow more efficiently and easily compared to many other primers on the market. It has received high praise and positive reviews on Amazon, making it a trusted and peer-reviewed eyeshadow primer. Moreover, it is affordable and can last for several months. The package includes a small brush for easy application. Despite its lower price, it delivers impressive results, allowing your eyeshadow to maintain its color throughout the day. Conclusion Choosing the right eyeshadow primer is crucial to achieving your desired look. The right primer can bring out vibrant colors and make your makeup last longer. Investing in an eyeshadow primer with proven results will save you the stress of searching for the best primer at drugstores. The five primers mentioned in this article are highly recommended and trusted by users. They offer long-lasting effects, vibrant colors, and adaptability to different skin types. With these top eyeshadow primers, you can enhance your makeup routine and achieve stunning looks effortlessly. Read the full article

[skeletonsloverockcandy]

A Hitchhiker’s Guide For Androids

Summary: Logan is an AI that has escaped to Cardinal Valley, a lovely mountain town, and needs a job and a place to stay.

Warnings: Threats, censored cursing, stabbing mention, gore mention, violence, violence mention, deceit mention, food mention, Logan having a weird robot body and doing robot things, high stakes, stress, hostage situation, crying, potential breakdown.

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides

Characters: Logan/Logic, Patton/Morality, Roman/Creativity, Remy/Sleep, and Emile Picani 

Pairings: Implied romantic Remile

Word Count: 5,230

Chapter One

Chapter Two: Job Searching

Logan watched as the bus pulled away from the station with the sunlight glinting off its metal back, then began trotting towards the center of town. Cardinal Valley had a thriving downtown area with a clustered grouping of specialty shops and studio apartments. There was a mix of rustic, brick, two-story buildings with old ads from a time long gone painted on their sides, and newer, sleeker, glass-paneled complexes littered in the area. It suggested rich local history and modern advancement corroborating to create a charming blend of aesthetics. Trees lined the sidewalks and traffic medians, tastefully separating the road from the shops and foot traffic, and providing a comfortable spot for shade as benches were intermittently placed underneath. Whenever a breeze blew by, dewy drops of water from that morning’s rain shook off the trees, the sunlight catching it as it cascaded down. It made the top of Logan’s head and new shirt slightly damp again, not that he minded all that much. He was waterproof after all. Most of the shops had plants around them, from their windowsills, to sitting in pots framing the doorways of the buildings. They were surrounded by flora. The majority had hanging gardens in small baskets held up by chains to a small hook in the awning of the establishment. They held anything from herbs, to succulents, to bunches of geraniums hanging in their pots. The shops themselves seemed colorful and pleasant too, providing a range of looks meant to attract their target customers. The shopkeepers cheerful, sweeping the fronts of their establishments or tending to tables and other things, never hesitated to send a hearty wave towards the potential customers milling about the sidewalk, as well as their fellow shopkeepers. 

The town was surrounded on most sides by gentle sloping mountains coated in pine trees and could be viewed from the center of town. They formed the horizon beyond the buildings and cradled the area in a gentle embrace. 

As Logan strolled down the sidewalk he took all these things in, appreciating the comforting appeal of his new town of residence. His hand was secure on his plastic bag of clothes and he adjusted his new glasses as he quickened his pace towards the center of town. 

He passed a trash bin as he walked and he paused for a moment to look in it. Ah, there! He pulled out a recently disposed of paper from that day and sat on one of the benches that were underneath the sidewalk trees. His eyes scanned back and forth on the paper until he found what he was looking for. Apartment listings.

He looked for one that had minimal appliances since he didn’t need to cook, and minimal room since he didn’t take up that much space. He also did not have that much money right now, so he had to invest in what he could afford. He found one with his requirements and took note of the phone number printed in the listing. Logan took out the phone he had stolen and turned it on. He frowned at it because he was perfectly capable of communicating through other means by himself, but this was the simplest form of communication with his current predicament, and the last thing he wanted to do was appear suspicious. Thankfully for him, talking on the phone is very rarely suspicious, but seeming to talk to yourself...that’s another story. Then people begin to question your mental stability. He shook his head slightly, he would just have to deal with his bruised pride, even if it meant relying on lesser technology, that’s why him and Dr. D stole the phone in the first place after all. 

He dialed the number on the newspaper and waited for the line to pick up. Within seconds a woman’s voice came on the phone. Logan inquired about the apartment’s availability and its price. After discussing the matters with the landlady and determining the affordability of the first month’s rent, he affirmed his interest in the apartment and set up a time later that afternoon to meet up at the complex it was located and finalize his decision to purchase with her.

He hung up the phone and just looked out at the city for a moment. It was so different from the lab. It was so alive. Before he had escaped he had never seen a plant or other living creature other than the scientists. He knew what they were, of course, because what good was an espionage robot without basic human knowledge. But being here, free, and surrounded by life for the first time, it made something stir in him that his processors were whirring to figure out. It caused his internal wiring to heat, but it didn’t feel bad, and despite there being logically no reason to, Logan felt the urge to smile. And he did. He allowed himself to sit a moment and smile.

Okay, moment of reprieve over, back to the task at hand. If Logan was going to live on his own and rent an apartment, that meant finding a source of income would be the next necessary thing for him to do. He had to get a job, preferably sooner rather than later. He flipped through the newspaper to look at job listings and took note of a few near the location of his soon-to-be apartment. That was where he would look first.

He walked deeper downtown and stashed the newspaper neatly into the bag that held his new clothes. Logan walked by a few potential establishments. A bank, a cell phone repair shop, and a Game Stop for instance, and he started his job hunt.

He left with varying levels of success in a venture that took nearly 3 hours among just those three establishments. The bank turned him away because of his lack of credentials despite his claims of being excellent with numbers. The cell phone repair shop seemed impressed by his knowledge pertaining the inner workings of machines, but was dissuaded by Logan only possessing a licence and no other legal paperwork or references. And the Game Stop apologised because the news ad was old and they had already filled up the position with someone else.

Walking away from his preferred potential places of employment, he started expanding his reach and looking elsewhere. 

As he turned a corner, something caught his eye. Help Wanted: See Applications Inside, was hand-written on a sign with a smiley-face drawn at the bottom. Logan looked up at the building of his good fortune and his face fell. It was a soft-pink painted building with a powder-blue, ribboned awning. It looked like one of the older brick buildings of the area that had been refurbished. It had windows lining the front wall around the glass door that were slightly more narrow than those of the surrounding buildings and they had powder-blue wooden shutters to match the awning. The glass door had potted ferns on either side and made the whole thing look more rustic. Chairs and tables stood politely in groups under the awning and people were sitting in them, drinking coffee, eating sweets, or laughing, but that wasn’t the thing that stopped Logan. Different pop-culture characters were painted in simplistic forms on the wall and the door. Finally, over the awning but below the windows of an in-shop apartment in neat cursive print were the words Cartoon Café. 

Logan sighed a bit to himself, this was not the ideal place he would want to be employed, but he wasn’t one to turn up his nose at an opportunity, and it was getting late, so he might as well try one last place before meeting with the landlady and trying again tomorrow.

He opened the door with a small jingle and was surprised to find the inside seemed more spacious. He took a second to look around the interior of the café. The inside seemed to have a mismatch of furniture. Couches lined one wall and stuffed animals of different cartoon characters including Pikachu, Stitch, and Mickey Mouse among others, were piled on top of them. The tables and chairs were vivid pastel colors, and more pictures from cartoons lined the walls with an assortment of Disney, Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon classics. Customers were sitting in chairs eating and chatting, or else snuggling on one of the couches with their laptops and taking advantage of the free wifi. A few were even cuddling the stuffed animals while nursing a mug of hot tea. The customers in the establishment added to its particular aesthetic as well. Most of them looked college-age and wore a variety of clothing, mostly Tees and hoodies referencing various animes and cartoons as well . It was as if the customers themselves were handpicked to fit the theme of the establishment. Interestingly enough there was also a decent grouping of young children there with their parents, which was more expected given the place’s appearance. Though there were a few people that didn’t seem to fix image of the establishment at all, such as a pair that was sitting at a small table near the register and quietly bickering. One had a black and purple hoodie on with dark eyeshadow under his eyes and dyed purple hair, while the other wore a white varsity jacket with red sleeves and wore more subtle, less depressing makeup on his face. There was also an individual leaning against the counter where the register was and looked hipster-esque with a plaid black-and-white flannel tied around their waist, black skinny jeans, sunglasses, and a white T-shirt that read B*tches Need Beauty Sleep. All this while sipping on an iced coffee in a plastic cup, completing the image. Interesting group of customers to say the least. 

Finally Logan looked at the counter to view a long line of customers ordering at the register. The counter held a display filled with different cartoon themed sweets, such as Fire Nation Fudge, and Bugs Bunny’s Homemade Carrot Cake, and the beverage menu was filled with several more examples of pun-filled, cartoon-themed food names. The employee running the register was roughly average height, a bit on the shorter side, wearing a light blue polo shirt and round glasses. He had dirty blond, curly hair, freckles dotting his face, and hazel eyes. As he tended to each customer he displayed a bright and peppy demeanor, and through the gentle hum of conversation in the café, Logan could hear the employee cracking jokes and making puns. He felt indifferent towards the use of humor by the employee, but could recognize the charm the man had that enthralled the other customers laughing with him. 

Logan went ahead and stood in line with the other customers because it would be impolite to skip even for an application. Eventually the line windled down and he was in front. The peppy man in blue spoke.

“Hiya kiddo! What can I get for you today?”

“No, I apologize for the misunderstanding, but I do not actually wish to purchase anything today.” The employee looked at him confused before Logan continued.

“I wish to inquire about the sign in the window indicating an available job position, I was wondering about securing an application.” The employee’s face lit up and a huge grin stretched upon his features and began to excitedly shake his hands.

“Oh my goodness! You’re here for the job interview? That’s fantastic! We’ve had a few people apply already, but if you get the position, I can’t wait to get to know you! I love love LOVE meeting new people!” Logan looked on at the open display of mirth with a bit of a loss of what to do. He was not yet good at dealing with exuberant displays of emotions, but he would just have to manage.

“Ah...yes, as I said, I would like to apply for whatever position you have open. Can I receive an application?”

“I don’t know kiddo, can you?” The man smiled a bit at his joke. Logan took a breath to regain his patience and tried not to roll his eyes (D’s habits had rubbed off on Logan while they were together) before he responded.

“My mistake. May I receive an application?” The employee giggled at Logan.

“Oh sure, you know I’m just messing’ with you right, kiddo? I’ll get that for you right away. Then after you fill it out, you can schedule an interview with my boss, Emile. Though he might prefer it if you call him Dr. Picani.”

“Doctor..?”

“Oh yeah! He has a PhD in psychology, but he’s taking a break from the practice to follow one of his other dreams for now.”

“Thank you, that cleared up some of my confusion.” Logan stated. As the employee reached under the counter to grab an application, he suddenly started.

“Oh I just remembered! How rude of me! I completely forgot to introduce myself. I’m Patton! The proudest Patton papá to perpetuate this place of p..work? (Darn lost it) Pastries! That’s it!” He laughed at his alliteration, “But you can just call me Patton, or dad, whatever suits your preference! (Yes, got another P word).” He muttered the last bit to himself.

Logan again struggled to keep his composure.

“Why would I call you..? You know what, never mind. Thank you for the introduction Patton, now can I please have the application?” He tried not to sound exasperated. Goodness gracious, usually he would be putting extra effort into expressing these perceived emotions to sell his supposed “human nature”, but here he was doing all he could to reign it in. Patton laughed a bit.

“Yepperoni! Coming right up mister..?”

“Logan.”

“Alright Logan! Coming right up!”

Just then Logan heard a slight disturbance behind him before he was roughly shoved away from the counter and onto the ground. A man in a denim jacket stepped in front of him and drew a knife, grabbing Patton by the collar of his shirt pointing it at him over the counter before yelling in his face.

“Gimme all the money in the register, now!” Patton began to stutter.

“B-b-but sir I..I-” he managed to get out before being cut off.

“Did I freaking stutter? Money. Register. Now! Or I’ll cut you open!” Several of the patrons stood up in shock, including the one in the varsity jacket, but the one with the eyeshadow was holding him back and whispering at him hurriedly. Patton responded to the situation by putting his hands up in surrender and yielding.

“Okay, okay, I’ll open up the register. Just please don’t hurt anyone, I’ll get the money.”

“Yeah, you better or else someone’s guts are gonna be all over the floor.” Patton visibly swallowed, and with shaky hands started to open the register. The customer with the sunglasses sat down his coffee and started inching towards the back room of the café. The aggressor saw the movement out of the corner of his eyes and shouted.

“NOBODY F***ING MOVE OR THIS GUY GETS SKEWERED!” with a frantic and wild look in his eyes. The man with the sunglasses held up his hands and said,

“Okay, nobody’s movin’ babes, you do you, just don’t hurt the guy.”

“That’s better,” the aggressor said, “but I’ll hurt him if I f***ing want to.”

A man in a pink polo shirt with brown pants and glasses started coming out from the food preparation area, looking slightly bewildered before shock lined his face, and the man with the sunglasses made a motion with his hand to try and shoo him back to where he was. The man in pink nodded slightly but seemed unable to move as he witnessed the scene in front of him. Patton began unlocking the register the best he could while the aggressor was still gripping the collar of his shirt, and it was at this time, having witnessed the scene thus far, that Logan slowly began getting up. He didn’t want the scene to get out of hand, so he’d try to de-escalate the situation the best he could.

“Excuse me,” he spoke, “if you are short on funds, there are other ways of acquiring money that don’t involve threatening people.” The aggressor turned to look at him.

“Listen man, if you don’t shut the hell up I’m gonna stab you instead.” The knife was still pointed at Patton.

“I find that unlikely, but I do know that murder is far worse a charge than armed robbery, and I doubt you desire life in prison.” At this point the aggressor whipped around and lunged towards Logan while shouting, “UGH BE QUIET!” 

Logan has anticipated this and began to apply his self-defense programming. He pivoted on his heel so his body was parallel to the attacker trying to stab him, then grabbed the wrist with the knife and the nape of the man’s neck, next he directed the attacker’s body towards the ground, placing his knee on the other man’s back to restrain him, then rolling his wrist slightly to make him drop the knife, and finally kicking the knife away from the two of them. Simple step-by-step process. 

The café was dead silent. Shocked faces marked the customers and the staff. It was as if they were frozen. Seeing their inaction, Logan gently prompted them. 

“Would someone like to contact the authorities?” The man in pink was the first that seemed to break from their collective daze. 

“Y-yeah, I’m on it,” he said before walking into the back room for the telephone. 

Logan looked up and surveyed the room before his eyes landed on the man with the varsity jacket.

“You. Can you help me retrain this criminal until the authorities arrive?” The man who had been held back by his more glum looking friend, now was looking at Logan with abject surprise and his arm slowly raised to gesture at himself.

“Yes, I mean you. Now if you will please, can you and your friend help me?”

The man in the varsity jacket stepped forward with the man in the hoodie following apprehensively. The aggressor struggled vainly, as Logan weighed quite a bit, cursing at the three of them before he seemed to accept he wasn’t getting away and he sagged in defeat. Logan directed the two on how to hold him without him getting away, then he let go.

The crowd finally appeared to break from their stupor and an outcry of relief rung out. The man in pink, who Logan assumed to be Patton’s boss, Dr. Emile Picani, came out of the back room announcing he had called the police and they were on their way. Then he ran up to the man in sunglasses and embraced him in a bone-crushing hug. Logan overheard his rushed speech as he talked to the other man.

“Remy! Are you alright? That was terrifying! You handled it so well, oh goodness, I’m so glad you’re okay.” The man with the sunglasses, Remy apparently, hugged Emile back and took a long shaky breath.

“You know me babe, always cool as a cucumber. You know I had everything handled, right gurl?” He held Emile out at arms length and pulled down his glasses so he could see his sincerity. Emile laughed shakily in relief and hugged him again, though less constricting than the previous time.

Patton was still behind the counter, gripping his heart and breathing heavily. Logan tentatively approached the counter and waited for Patton’s breathing to regulate. After a minute his breathing slowed to an almost normal pace and he looked Logan in the eyes, coming back into himself. 

“Patton, are you alright?” Logan inquired.

“That...was the scariest thing...I have ever...experienced…in my life,” Patton said, “I almost died, and you...you saved me…” Tears began welling in his eyes. “Logan, you saved me! Oh, thankyouthankyouthankyou!” He reaches over the counter and hugged Logan. Logan stiffened, he almost irrationally feared Patton feeling his metallic endoskeleton, before reasoning that that was a perfectly rational concern, however, unlikely to occur because he trusted he was made well enough to pass for a human by touch as well. He straightened his glasses before awkwardly attempting to hug Patton back giving him a gentle pat of comfort.

Before he could recover from the hug though, Patton reeled back and half-heartedly slapped Logan in the arm.

“Hey!” It didn’t hurt, but it was the principle.

“Don’t you dare do that again! You could have died! He could have stabbed you! It’s scared me half-to-death!” He looked fierce now, a fire in his eyes, alight with concern and compassion. He softened though at the overwhelmed look Logan had on his face from the emotional whiplash.

“But honestly Logan, thank you. Without you I could have been a Patton-pancake. Oh! A Patton-cake if you will.” He laughed shakily for a moment. “If there’s anything I can do to make it up to you just say the word, And I promise I’ll do it.” He looked at Logan earnestly. Logan was almost at a loss for what to say. Almost.

“Your gratitude is much appreciated Patton, but you really don’t have to do anything for me. However, I would still like an application for the job opening.” Patton looked at him for what felt like ages before breaking into real, genuine laughter, so much that he almost doubled over. Logan could not for the life of him figure out what was funny. Eventually though, Patton caught his breath.

“I..” he laughed, “comPLETELY forgot that was why you came here. And..and,” he said breathlessly, “I don’t know why that’s so funny, but yes! Yes! You can have an application! Ha ha!” he said as he handed it over the counter to Logan, “here you go kiddo, your application!” He wipes his eyes, barely managing to get the sentence out and Logan couldn’t tell if it was mirth or hysterics, “Make sure...make sure,” he laughed, “you come back tomorrow for your interview.”

Logan took the paper from Patton and was clueless as to how he could help the man. He looked on the verge of a breakdown due to the trauma of the experience. Hoping to distract himself, Logan quickly filled out the application and handed it back to Patton, who seemed finally to have stopped laughing and was instead sniffling in his sleeve. Logan awkwardly patted Patton’s arm in a comforting gesture before sliding him the paper back across the counter. 

Logan checked the Doctor Who clock on the wall that read Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Whimy just as the sirens from the police could be heard outside. Upon hearing the sirens, both the hoodie-clad man and the man in the varsity jacket, holding down the miscreant, visibly relaxed. As soon as the police came in and handcuffed the man, the two holding him down rushed to go check on Patton. Logan let out a sigh of relief. At least there would be someone, or two someones, to make sure Patton was in the right emotional state. Feelings were somewhat foreign to Logan, and though trained to identify them, he was not sure how to cope with consoling others, so best leave this in the hands of the other humans, they were feelings professionals after all. He looked at the inside of the café one last time to ensure everything was alright then left before the police could stop and question him. One, he did not want to be publicized, and two, he needed to leave now or else he would be late meeting the landlady to discuss his potential apartment.

The walk to the apartment complex was quiet, and in the setting sun, one could almost forget the events of the day. It had been a long day for Logan. He escaped, took on a new identity, skipped town, arrived in a new one, applied to four jobs, stopped a robbery, and set out to rent an apartment. It was a good thing his battery could last 48 hours or he would be half-way unconscious by now if he were human.

Finally he arrived at the complex and met the landlady. Even getting the cheapest apartment available in the complex, he was only barely able to pay the first month’s rent upfront with the remaining money he had. He really hoped he could secure a job soon. At least he didn’t need to eat. 

The landlady, her name was Sandra, gave Logan the keys to his apartment, and he thanked her. He began the climb up the stairs to the fourth floor and looked around when he finally reached the landing. The landing was plain, but clean, and had light brown painted walls and hardwood flooring with a long rug stretching the length of the hallway on top of it. There were four total apartments on this landing and Logan’s was the closest to the stairs. Apartment 4A was also the smallest apartment on the landing, but Logan was intentional about his decision to rent it. It would be impractical for a machine that doesn’t eat to own a kitchen after all.

He inserted the key he was given into the lock and opened the door. The apartment was small as expected, but like everything else so far in the complex, thankfully clean. The walls were the same light brown as the landing, and the floor had dark brown hardwood paneling. The place was unadorned except for a small table and a couple chairs that served as a dining area, and a bit further in, one stiff armchair and a coffee table that sat on top of a worn rug. The single bedroom was in the back and connected to the one bathroom. He sat down his few possessions on the coffee table (the phone, the wallet, the bag of clothes), and walked over to the bedroom. In it was a twin sized bed with some clean sheets folded in a pile on top, a small wooden dresser, and a chair in the corner. Logan felt it was unnecessary to check out the bathroom at this time, all he wanted to do was make the bed and recharge. He pulled out the fitted sheets from the pile and put them over the mattress, then repeated the process with the other sheets. Then he sat on the bed, then glanced around the bedroom. Finally he spotted what he was looking for, an outlet. It was by the window in his room. Darn, luck seemed to have failed him in having one next to the bed. Oh well, he could always move the bed later. For now, he would simply pull up the chair in the corner and sit by the window. Logan pushed the chair into position so at least he’d get a nice view of the street below, then he pulled up his pant leg. Reaching at the spot between the calf and the ankle, Logan pressed down with a slight click before a minute panel swung open on a hinge. Logan felt inside the opening for a bit before pulling out an extension cord. Making sure he didn’t have to adjust his sitting position any further, Logan pulled at the cord and plugged himself in. 

He sighed very unnecessarily and gazed out the window at the almost completely set sun through the spaces between buildings and the trees on the apex of the mountainside that created the horizon. The view really was quite beautiful. Logan briefly glanced back at his room. Well, he’d fix it up eventually, but that could wait until he could afford it, for now he was content looking at the sunset.

*

He didn’t realize how long he’d been staring until the first street lamps came on. He had been people-watching far past dusk and felt odd at having not paid attention if his surroundings for once. He felt even more odd when he looked up. There were thousands of twinkling stars above him, and Logan felt figuratively speechless. He knew about planets and stars and solar systems, and could name most of the major constellations an average person would know, but he had never seen them for himself. He felt that not-bad heat filling his system again as he tried to process what he was experiencing and believed it to be awe. He attempted to recount everything thing he knew about stars before coming to the conclusion that the facts he knew weren’t sufficient, the scientists simply did not care that much about astronomy. That simply wouldn’t do. Something this fascinating deserved to be learned and known about. He was in the middle of reconnecting himself to the internet to learn as many astronomy facts as possible, when he heard footsteps coming up the stairwell. 

Logan turned his head in the direction of the hallway, first trying his thermal vision, then his X-Ray, before coming to the conclusion that the walls were simply too thick. So he settled on setting his sound sensitivity incrementally higher until he could hear whoever was there as if he was in the hallway with them. He cued into the middle of a conversation.

“...telling you! I would have fought brave and gallantly. No criminal would have stood a chance!” A booming voice rang out.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself Sir-stupid-a-lot, you’re a theater kid, not a heavyweight wrestling champion.” A softer, but more cutting voice responded.

“A theater kid who owns a sword!” The voice said aghast.

“A novelty sword, my point still stands.”

“Be nice Virgil, Roman was very brave today! But you two are both my heroes. Did you see the way you held down that guy? And when the police came, you were very cop-erative. Like cooperative? Because they were cops.” There were giggles followed by a snort and a soft groan from each of the other two.

“Yes padre, we get it. But let's not forget how brave you were! Keeping your cool like Mulan staring down the Hun army. That’d be nearly unthinkable in a situation like this! Something like that takes quite a bit of nerve.”

“Yeah Pat, that must’ve been terrifying. Are you still...good?” The softer voice asked tentatively. 

“Aw, thank you Virge. I’m mostly fine now, just a bit shaken up. But I never let a case of the jitters get me down! I’ll be okay.”

“Ah, well, after an eventful day, a Prince must have his beauty rest. So I must bid thee farewell, though parting is such sweet sorrow.” The loud voice announced dramatically.

“Yeah, same here Patton, I’m beat. But if you need anything, just come over and ask okay? We’re here for you.”

“Awww, you bet! Goodnight kiddos!”

“‘Night Pat.”

“~Adieu my fine friends, I will see you in the morning.”

Three separate doors clicked shut and Logan returned his hearing sensitivity to normal. He attempted to process what he just heard. Patton, the person he saved today, and possible new coworker, and the two people who helped him restrain the criminal in the café (Roman and Virgil apparently) lived in the same apartment as him. He placed his palm over his face at the irony of the universe. Then he slid his hand down and breathed out through his nose. Well, it looked like Logan had new neighbors.

[mamabearcat]

First Impressions

Yesterday, I reblogged this long post that gave heaps of examples of people being nice humans to each other, despite their outward appearance. And the last paragraph, where a girl with a cold goes to convenience store and has a chat to a friendly giant of a man, just struck a chord. And then this inukag oneshot happened.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Kagome cracked open one eye, clutching the blanket tighter around her as she shivered. She really shouldn’t be surprised. All day yesterday she’d been feeling like crap. She’d put it down to the stress of moving into a new place, but nope. She had a cold. And probably not just a sniffle considering she was both shivering and sweating. She swallowed, then wished she hadn’t – it felt like she had a golf ball lodged in her throat. A golf ball covered in broken glass, serrated knives and acid.

“Sangoooo?” she moaned pitifully, not wanting to move from her balled-up position under the covers. No answer. Then she remembered. Sango had gone out last night, after failing to coax Kagome to come out and meet her friends for their regular Friday night drinks at the pub. Kagome had taken a rain check, feeling exhausted after moving all her stuff into Sango’s apartment and had just wanted an early night.

Come to think of it, she hadn’t heard Sango come in last night. Surely, she should be back home by now? She pushed one arm out of her blanket cocoon, patting the bedside table to find her phone with shaky fingers, then pulled it back inside, squinting at the brightness of the small screen with scratchy dry eyes.

She had three missed texts from Sango.

Kagomeee! If you change your mind hon, we’re at the pub a couple of blocks down – Three Blind Mice. Come out and drink with us! Me and ma boys! We gotta celebrate you moving in! Don’t be a party pooper!

Are you coming?! C’mon, we’re going dancing! You love to dance!

Gon crash at Mirokuuus. Bit tipssdfy. lOve ouup Kagsssss xxxxxxxxxdsklfsx

Kagome snorted. On the upside, it looked like she wouldn’t be the only one feeling like crap this morning. On the downside, it meant she had to fend for herself. She lay there feeling pathetic. Tried whimpering a little to see if it made her feel better. It didn’t. She wished that a glass of water would miraculously appear on her bedside table, complete with flu medication and a box of tissues. It didn’t. She tried engaging her usually happy go lucky personality. C’mon Kagome! Buck up, it’s just a virus. You’re not actually dying. Lots of people have it worse off than you… probably.

Finally, she dragged her sorry self out of bed, shivering as her feet met the cold wooden floor. Note to self. Buy slippers. She had no idea where any medicine she owned might be in her half-unpacked boxes of possessions, so she dragged herself into the bathroom and opened the mirrored cabinet to see if Sango had any. Lots of eyeshadow. Eye make up remover. Some nail polish that looked like it had gone a bit clumpy. Some bedraggled looking fake eyelashes that had seen better days. But no medication. Not even a cough drop. Note to self. Buy the entire contents of a pharmacy.

She shut the door of the cabinet and recoiled at her own reflection. Gah, she looked disgusting. Her face looked deathly pale framed by her blue-black hair, which seemed to look greasy and lank, even though she’d washed it yesterday. Nose and ears bright red. Blue eyes now watery. Even her lips looked chapped.

“Uuuungh”, she moaned, and wished she hadn’t as the demon that had taken up residence in her throat commenced merrily stabbing her with a pitchfork without restraint. She leaned her head forward on the cabinet with a dull thud. There was nothing for it. She was going to have to go outside and engage in conversation with actual people to buy something to make her feel human. Dammit.

Trudging through the snow wearing her only pair of tracksuit pants, her only pair of boots, nearly every shirt she owned and Sango’s puffy jacket that she’d pilfered from the hall closet, Kagome was bitterly regretting her decision to move to New York from California in late autumn. Who does that? Her joy at finally being able to move in with her best friend Sango after securing the job of her dreams in New York was definitely being overshadowed by her physical misery at the moment. Her shivers were reaching the proportion of actual earthquake tremors, and the cold air was making her throat feel even worse. She hunched her shoulders against the cold wind, both hands shoved in the pockets in an attempt at keeping them warm. Note to self. Buy a woolly hat. And gloves. And a scarf. A trickle of dampness invaded her suede boots, which were very cute, but obviously not waterproof. And new boots.

A small eddy of frozen air whistled around her, the cold breeze managing to poke it’s frozen fingers down the back of her neck. She whimpered, and then made a determined face. C’mon Kagome. Think of the pioneers. They didn’t have puffy jackets, and they survived. Mostly. She’d been walking for twenty minutes and she still hadn’t found somewhere that sold over the counter cold medicine. Now she’d settle for just Tylenol, anything to dull the pain in her throat and the increasing thump in her head.

She spotted a convenience store on the corner and decided this was it. Whatever they had would be good enough until Sango got home. She shuffled in the door, scrubbing the snow off her boots on the mat and swiftly closing the door behind her. She could have wept in relief. It was warm in here.

Her ears were burning with the cold, and she wished she’d had the sense to buy more cold weather clothes before she moved. She was pretty sure her boots were going to be ruined, her socks were soggy and freezing. It was only mid-November, she didn’t think it would be snowing already, but apparently according to the weatherman, she’d moved in the middle of some freak early cold front. Figures.

Rubbing her ears gently to try and defrost them, she walked over to the shelves that had looked like they had medication stocked on them, glancing at the guy standing behind the counter. She stopped. Wow.

He was tall, really tall. And muscular. The red flannel shirt he was wearing did nothing to disguise the width of his shoulders. But what really made him stand out was the long silver hair, pulled back at the nape of his neck. And… omg, were they puppy ears?! Kagome nearly squeaked. She’d only met a few demons in San Diego where she’d previously lived, mostly ones that had an affinity with water, seeing there were so many jobs available that centred around the fishing industry. She’d never seen anyone like him before. One pointed white ear twitched, obviously listening. Gah, so cute!

Kagome realised she had been blatantly staring when he turned his piercing amber eyes her way, his expression a little stern, and she quickly whipped her gaze to the shelves in front of her, cheeks burning with more than the cold. Focus Kagome! Don’t bother the nice demon. So what if he’s the most spectacularly beautiful person you’ve ever seen. She picked up some Tylenol, then grabbed a basket and trailed around the little store. There wasn’t a huge amount to choose from, but she added a couple of bottles of Gatorade. That would have to do.

She approached the counter with some trepidation. At 5’2”, she knew she wasn’t the tallest person around, but next to this guy she felt miniscule. A tiny pathetic, wet kitten sized ball of sickness. He was leaning back against the wall with his eyes closed and arms crossed, looking like he wanted to be anywhere but this convenience store, and she couldn’t really blame him. She’d done her time working in customer service and it sucked. She quietly put her items down on the counter.

“Um, excuse me?” Ouch. She almost whimpered at the ripping feeling in her throat as she spoke.

He turned towards her, uncrossing his arms, his amber eyes almost seeming to possess their own glow.

“Hey, you okay? You really don’t sound so good.” His voice was like melted honey, a rich baritone, and the gaze of those golden eyes was focused directly on her. A double whammy that had Kagome feeling a little weak in the knees. Usually she would have brushed off a stranger with a bland ‘I’m fine’, but something about that voice and the concern in those amber eyes made her tell the truth.

“Not so good. I woke up with a sore throat; I think I’m coming down with the flu.”

He looked her over and Kagome felt like a deer caught in the headlights, mesmerised. Like she’d accidentally come in contact with some ancient demigod doing his best to blend into modern society by wearing a flannel shirt and jeans and failing miserably because he was just too goddamned beautiful. She tried to get her shivering under control, so she didn’t look quite as pathetic as she felt, but that seemed to make it even worse.

“Have you eaten anything today?”

Kagome shook her head, unwilling at this point to speak and risk more punishment from her throat. His throat rumbled; it was an obvious reproach, a resonating grumbling growl that woke up tiny butterflies in Kagome’s insides.

“You need to eat if you’re sick. Would ya like a chicken sandwich? They’re warm, and they’re pretty delicious.”

Kagome’s stomach spoke for her as if on cue, and he grinned at her, a sharp fang poking over his lip, the golden eyes squinting in amusement. Her cheeks heated even more, and the butterflies turned somersaults in her stomach and woke up their friends.

“I guess that’s a yes then.”

Kagome nodded again, gripping the edge of the counter for support. She wasn’t sure if it was the flu or the aura of the man in front of her, but she was feeling a little light-headed. She watched as he carefully wrapped up the hot chicken sandwich and scanned her other items, placing them all gently in a bag, handing it to her after she’d paid.

“You be careful out there, okay? The slush on the corners can be really slippery after it’s stopped snowing. Have you got far to walk?”

Kagome shrugged. “Not too far”, she tried to say, but all that came out was a creaky whisper. Great, now her voice was disappearing altogether. She swallowed with an effort. “Thankyou.”

She opened the door and stepped back out into the cold, and the wind seemed to cut into her like a knife. She smothered a small whimper and began trudging away from the store, hunching her shoulders in an effort to keep the small amount of warmth leftover from being inside still had safe, when a sudden hand on her shoulder made her freeze.

She turned, only to see the dog-eared demon from the store. With a bright red woollen beanie in his hands. Which he suddenly plonked down on her head.

“Ya know, only an idiot would be going out in out in weather like this without a hat, especially if they’re sick”, he said conversationally, tugging down the edges to make sure her ears were covered.

Kagome stared at him open mouthed.

“Either you’re an idiot, or you’re delirious. Which is it?” He placed a hand on her forehead, checking her temperature. “Dammit, girl, you’re burnin’ up! I was just jokin’ with the delirious crack, but maybe you really are!” He stared at her seriously for a moment, then seemed to come to a decision. He poked his head into the store, hollered that he was leaving for the day, grabbing a jacket and a scarf that was near the front door, then walked back to her side.

“C’mon, I’m walkin’ you home”, he said, shrugging on the jacket. “You said you didn’t have far to walk, right? Can’t be good for business to lose a local customer.”

Kagome looked at him uncertainly. He certainly didn’t look like a serial killer, but she got the impression that most serial killers didn’t go about announcing their intentions either. And he’d seen that she didn’t have much money – she’d dumped the fistful of change on the counter when she’d bought stuff, with only a dollar or two to spare. What if he were some kind of pervert?

While she was trying to make a decision, he commenced winding the scarf around her neck gently, tucking the ends in her jacket. He must have noticed the hesitation in her gaze, because he took a step backwards out of her personal space.

“Hey, I promise I’m not tryin’ to take advantage of ya. I’m not that kinda guy. And even if I was, which I promise I ain’t, you really look terrible at the moment.”

Kagome glared at him. That may be true, but he didn’t have to be an asshole and actually tell her. She was tempted to rip of the scarf and hat and stomp home, but her ears had only just begun to thaw out. And to tell the truth, she was feeling so ill that she was actually beginning to wonder if she would actually make it home, stomping or otherwise.

The dog demon clicked his fingers, and Kagome noticed the long pointed nails at the ends of his fingers. “I know. What if I call a friend of mine? To vouch for me. She’s the type a girl to tell it to you straight.” He dug into his jeans pocket and pulled out a phone and dialled a number.

“Hey Sango”. Kagome’s eyes rounded in surprise as she watched him speak on the phone. He sniggered. “You sound terrible… Yeah sorry to wake you. Actually no I’m not… That’s what you get for listenin’ to Miroku – I thought you were smart. Anyway, I want you to speak to a girl I’m gonna walk home, let her know I’m trustworthy… Shut. Up. Not like that! Okay, thanks… wait, what? Oh, I dunno, guess I’d better ask huh?”

He turned to Kagome. “Sorry, just realised that I never asked your name.” He bent his head down so he’d be able to hear her soft voice over the wind whistling around them in the narrow street.

“It’s Kagome”, she whispered, almost giggling as the demon’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Wait, you’re Kagome?! Sango’s new flatmate?” Kagome nodded, shivering violently as another breeze whistled around the corner, and he the golden eyes narrowed in concern. “Shit, we’d better get you outta the wind and home before you get any sicker.” He turned his attention back to Sango on the phone. “Hey Sango, it’s Kagome. She’s actually sick, she’s lost her voice – I was gonna walk her home because she looks terrible. Can you talk to her, let her know I’m okay?”

He handed the phone to Kagome. “Here, listen to Sango for a sec.”

“Kagome?” said Sango, “is that you?” Kagome made an incoherent creaking sound. “Oh, hon I’m so sorry you’re not well and I wasn’t there this morning. Listen, let Inuyasha walk you home. He’s one of my best friends – you would have met him last night if you’d come out with us. He may look grumpy, but he’s just got resting bitch face – he’s actually a sweetheart when you get to know him. I’m gonna have a shower here and I’ll be home in an hour or two, okay? Love you!”

Kagome handed back the phone. “What the hell Sango? Resting bitch face?” he grumbled into the phone. “Yeah right, sure, when hell freezes over. Don’t worry, I’ll take good care of her. See ya later.”

The walk home ended up being a bit of a blur to Kagome. She was sure she was actually leaning on Inuyasha at one point, and he may have piggy backed her up the stairs. They finally made it back to the apartment, and after he’d taken the key from her shaking fingers and opened the door, he insisted she take some Tylenol straight away and have a shower to try and warm up.

The warm water burned at first against her frozen skin, but finally she managed to thaw out. The medication must have started working because the thumping in her head had decreased from kettle drum sized down to a small set of bongos, and her shivering had almost stopped.

When she tottered back out to the lounge room, dressed in her pj’s and thick socks with her quilt wrapped around her, dragging on the floor behind her like a royal train, she found Inuyasha waiting with two bowls of instant ramen.

“Hey Kagome.” He examined her carefully, then smiled, holding out a bowl to her. “You’re actually lookin’ a little better, but you still need to eat somethin’. I put your chicken sandwich in the fridge for later, but I thought this might be a little easier on your throat. If you can’t eat the noodles, at least drink the broth.”

Kagome plonked herself down on the sofa across from Inuyasha and reached out for the bowl and chopsticks, breathing in the steam and wrapping her hands around the warm of the bowl. She smiled at him gratefully. “Thanks Inuyasha”, she whispered. “How did you know that I love instant ramen. Did Sango tell you?”

Inuyasha shook his head and returned her smile with a toothy grin, picking up his chopsticks and watching as she greedily slurped the noodles from her quilt cocoon. “Nuh, she didn’t. But it looks like you and I are gonna get along just fine.”

[imnotinclinedtomaturity]

Love Yourself (Chapter 31)

title: Love Yourself summary: A lot of things about Dan’s life are pretty great. He gets to make the music he wants, he’s got a great fanbase, and his manager is his best friend. A few things about his life suck a bit more. He’s currently lacking inspiration, he’s rather lonely, and he’s stuck in a rut. Dan’s been going to the same coffee shop for years. It’s quiet, it’s quaint, it’s near his home. Most importantly: none of the employees give a shit that’s he a world-famous singer. Things change when he meets the new barista. chapter words: 8.6k story words: 249k (so far) chapter: 31/? rating: m warnings: language, alcohol, sex mentions, some bi/homophobia, eventual explicit smut, some depression genre: singer!dan, coffee shop au, barista!phil, slow burn [[ao3]] [[first chapter]] [[previous chapter]]

a/n: thanks @auroraphilealis​ for editing, and also watching like a lot of jimmy fallon videos with me on youtube and messing around with me while i tried to figure some of this out haha. see end notes for links to relevant videos.

“One coffee with too much caffeine and not enough sugar for Daniel Howell!”

Phil’s voice shook Dan out of his thoughts. Sofia, who had been lounging against the table as she told him about her pet shitzu, stopped in the middle of her story.Dan’s eyes snapped up, finding Phil in the mirror, two cups of coffee in his hands. Dan waited with bated breath, carefully watching for Phil’s reaction to the properly pretty makeup that now adorned Dan’s face.

Most things in life happen gradually, even if that gradually lasts only seconds. With Phil, all of their graduallys had taken months. But this moment, much like the entire coming out decision and this television appearance, felt like a distinct before and after moment.

There was the moment before Phil noticed Dan’s makeup.

And the moment after.

“Holy shit,” Phil breathed, his tone so flat that Dan had no idea what to make of it. He did, however, notice the loosening grip Phil had on the coffees, and the way they very nearly slid out of his hands.

Phil’s fingers gripped tighter in the nick of time, just barely latching around the tops of the cups before they were sent crashing down to the floor. The subtle tightening of Phil’s fingers was the only movement he made though, or at least from what Dan could see in the mirror. Even his chest didn’t seem to be moving, like the sight of Dan in makeup had knocked the wind out of him.

Dan couldn’t bring himself to look at Phil’s face to find out if it was a good or bad breathless.

A long moment of silence passed, a moment in which Dan’s apprehension grew and grew until suddenly he was reaching out for the packet of makeup wipes that Sofia had gestured to earlier.

“No!” Phil exclaimed, the sudden noise causing Dan to freeze mid-reach.

Nervously, Dan let his eyes drift up from the coffee cups in Phil hands, finally finding his face.

Dan wasn’t sure what he’d expected — he knew Phil had liked the nail polish, he knew Phil had hinted about liking lipstick, but this felt like entirely new territory. Now Dan had more products on his face than he could count on one hand , and a small part of him worried that this would be the tipping point for Phil. That this would be the moment that Phil realized that Dan was too dramatic, too rebellious, too whatever for his persona.

But when Dan’s eyes landed on Phil’s face, all of his worries washed away. Much to Dan’s surprise, Phil’s lips were tipped up into a smile and his eyes were blown wide with lust.

“No, what?” Dan asked, a bit of teasing seeping into his tone now that he knew Phil wasn’t repulsed. There was still a shakiness in his voice though, a light quiver that betrayed just how fucking nervous he’d been for Phil to see him like this.

“Don’t you dare take that off,” Phil ordered steadily. There was an authoritative edge to his voice that sent a visible shiver down Dan’s spine.

With a quiet thump, Dan’s hand fell flatly to the table, his eyes staying fixed on Phil’s. “Okay,” he agreed without hesitation, feeling warm down to his core. Feeling… settled. Expression neutral, but a genuinely happy glint in his eye, Dan watched Phil appraise him.

Phil stepped closer, coming to a stop just a few centimeters behind Dan. Reaching around him, Phil sat a small cup of coffee down on the table — a cup of coffee Dan couldn’t help thinking better have nothing less than a triple espresso in it. Phil’s eyes, however, didn’t once drift to the makeup artist — they seemed to only be able to look from Dan’s eyes to his chin and back up again.

“Wow,” Phil mumbled softly. One hand reached out, and Phil slowly dragged his fingers up the length of Dan’s neck. His touch was so feather-light that if Dan hadn’t been watching him do it in the mirror, he’d probably think he was imagining it. “You’re going to blow them away, Dan,” Phil whispered, voice soft and honeyed.

“In a good way?” Dan asked, unable to keep the nerves and anxiety out of his voice.

“In the best way,” Phil reassured him, his hand coming to rest on Dan’s shoulder, his thumb gently caressing Dan’s exposed collarbone. “You’re definitely gonna make a statement about gender roles.” Phil’s fingers drifted up, grazing along the far-more-pointed jut of Dan’s cheekbone, drifting up the to subtle wing of his eyeliner. Sheer reverence seemed to coat his face. “A very loud statement about how they’re stupid.”

Dan swallowed thickly as he was reminded of how fucking huge it was that he was about to go on national television in proper makeup. Dan closed his eyes for a second, gathering his confidence, his composure, his cool. “That’s the goal,” Dan nodded once, determined and almost — but not quite — sure.

“We’re all set here, so I’ll be heading out,” Sofia suddenly said, pushing off the makeup table to properly stand next to Dan. Fuck, he’d nearly forgotten she was there.

Dan’s attention snapped away from Phil, finding Sofia instead. She was smiling a wide, kind smile, a smile that reminded Dan why he’d had the confidence to ask her to help him with this step.

“Thank you,” Dan said with a smile. He cleared his throat, and his gaze shyly dropped to the piercing that dotted her collarbone. “For everything,” he added emphatically, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sofia’s hand landed on his shoulder, squeezing once in a show of comradery. Her hand didn’t linger, though; she quickly pulled back and began gathering up her makeup and tools, carefully piling them into her bag.

True to her word, Sofia left out the greyscale eyeshadow palette — and a few other things, Dan noticed. He opened his mouth, prepared to fight her, but she interrupted him.

“It’s nothing,” she said meaningfully, placing the brushes, eyeliner, and mascara on top of Dan’s new bit of makeup. Her generosity was never-ending; she sat another palette — a palette that Dan had no idea what was in it or what to do with it — next to the small pile.

“Thanks,” Dan mumbled, not wanting to call too much attention to his new belongings in front of Phil. It was clear he liked the makeup, sure, but a part of Dan was still self-conscious. A small, anxious voice in Dan’s mind worried that Phil wouldn’t want this to become a thing. Or that Phil found the makeup hot but wouldn’t necessarily want Dan to wear it outside of the bedroom.

There was also a part of Dan that was bloody terrified at the prospect of trying to replicate this look on his own.

“You have my number, yeah? Give me a call anytime,” Sofia offered again, sounding hopeful.

“Of—” Dan started, prepared to assure her that he would definitely call, but the words died on his tongue when a different hand — this one rougher and tighter — landed on his opposite shoulder.

“Dan’s not single,” Phil said tersely.

Possessively.

Dan jerked his head around to face Phil in the mirror, only to find him staring fucking daggers at Sofia. It was a look Dan had never seen on Phil before — fuck, he’d never seen anything close to that look on Phil’s face before. Clearly, Phil seemed to be under the impression that Sofia was flirting with his boyfriend, and he was not having it.

Something about the way Phil was doing it, though, was so radically different from the way Isabella used to controllingly wrap her hand around Dan’s waist. This was so much better. This Dan… kind of liked. It had an undertone of… sweetness… that Isabella never had.

A small smile tugged at his lips as he flicked his gaze back to Sofia. Judging by the smirk on her face, she must not find Phil’s domineering act intimidating at all. When their eyes met, her resolve seemed to crack.

Sofia laughed, properly laughed in response. Her laughter was so contagious that Dan found himself dissolving into loud, cackling laughter of his own. Phil’s grasp loosened on Dan’s shoulder, his gaze rapidly shifting from Dan to Sofia and back again. Dan watched Phil’s eyes narrow, his brow furrow in confusion, and it only served to spur on his laughter.

“Oh god,” Sofia finally managed, her laughter fizzling into light giggles. She shook her head and turned her attention from Dan to Phil. “I can tell, Romeo. I’m not an idiot,” Sofia smirked knowingly, rolling her eyes. “Besides, I doubt my girlfriend would take kindly to me hitting on a random guy, even if it is Dan Howell.”

“Oh,” Phil muttered, sounding rather embarrassed and chagrined. His grip on Dan’s shoulder started to slip, retreating into himself, but Dan reached out to stop him. Dan’s hand landed on top of Phil’s and held it in place, fingers lightly thumbing over the back of his hand.

Without letting go of Phil, Dan turned his attention back to Sofia. “I’ll call. Definitely,” he promised. He nodded to the pile of makeup in front of him. “I haven’t got a clue what to do with any of that.”

“It’s not that hard, I promise.” Sofia straightened up, hitching her bag over her shoulder. “Now, your eyeliner and mascara aren’t waterproof. They’ll smudge if you’re too… rough on them.” There was a suggestive lit to her tone, a smirk playing at her lips.

Dan narrowed his eyes. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked warily.

“It means, they won’t survive any heavy making out, so unless you want to go on tv looking like a raccoon, I suggest you both keep it in your pants until the show is over.”

“Uh!” Dan screeched. His mouth dropped open in indignation, his hand falling from Phil’s in shock. “We’re not going to fuck backstage right before I have to go on!”

“Tell your boyfriend that, not me,” Sofia pointed out cheekily as she leaned down to press a loud kiss to the top of Dan’s head. “Ttyl, boo.”

“Bye…” Dan said flatly, his mind still reeling at the absurd — but kind of hot — idea of him and Phil fucking in the Tonight Show dressing room.

Dan waited until he heard the door click shut behind him before he found Phil’s gaze in the mirror again. Now that he was looking at him, Dan realized what Sofia was getting at — Phil’s pupils were blown wide, and Dan wasn’t sure if he was worked up again or if he’d just never properly calmed down. A slow smile crept onto Dan’s face, and he couldn’t help but realize how much more his cheeks seemed when he smiled with the blush on.

Dan spun around in his chair, finally properly facing Phil. Sitting down, he only came up to the middle of Phil’s chest, and the height difference seemed shocking now that they were actually looking at each other. Dan tipped his head back so he could see Phil, his hands looping around Phil’s waist and shuffling him a hair closer.

“See something you like, Philip?” Dan teased saucily, flashing what he hoped was a sexy smile up at Phil.

Phil’s hands settled onto Dan’s shoulders, sliding up until he was cupping either side of Dan’s neck. “Always,” Phil said, his voice several octaves lower than normal and dripping with sincerity.

A shiver ran down Dan’s spine, his stomach flipping over and his cheeks growing hot — it wasn’t a flush of arousal it was something.. more. Dan wasn’t sure if his reaction was from the sentiment or from the mushy tone, but regardless, he wrenched himself backward out of Phil’s grip.

“Gross,” he whined, aiming for appalled but falling short. He just sounded enamoured and he knew it.

A sharp knocking at the door saved Dan from having to continue to try to mask how much Phil was flustering him.

“Come in!” Dan called as Phil took a wide step back.

The door cracked open and a harried young man poked his head around the door. “You’re on in fifteen, Mr. Howell. We’ll need you in the wings in ten.”

The man disappeared, pulling the door shut behind him before Dan even had the chance to ask questions.

“Well,” Dan said, nerves swelling up again. “I guess I better get to that coffee, huh?”

*************

The crowd was cheering so loudly when Jimmy called out Dan’s name that Dan nearly missed the entry cue from the stagehand.

As he walked out, the lights were practically blinding, and completely blocked out any proper view he could get of the audience — something Dan was rather grateful for, actually. Having to see people’s faces — being forced to register the individual people that were watching him — would probably be enough to make Dan lose his nerve.

Dan sped-walked his way to Jimmy’s desk, not nearly cool or confident enough to attempt the light jog that so many celebrities effortlessly pulled off in moments like this. Jimmy was already standing to greet him, his hand reaching out to shake Dan’s as soon as they were in arms’ reach.

The cheering was still loud, seemingly never-ending, as Dan and Jimmy settled themselves into their seats. Dan shook his leather jacket some, hoping it wasn’t laying in a weird fashion, and crossed an ankle over his opposite knee. Desperate for an outlet to expel his nervous energy, Dan’s hand landed on his knee, immediately beginning to tap a soundless melody.

“It’s great to have you back, Dan!” Jimmy called above the crowd.

At Jimmy’s words, the cacophony of noise quieted down, everyone tuning in to listen to what Jimmy — and Dan — had to say.

“It’s great to be back!” Dan smiled widely.

It wasn’t a lie, either. It was great to be back. Of all the hosts and interviewers, Jimmy was easily the most fun and comfortable to work with. Not much pressure, a bit of games — it was the perfect combination.

“You haven’t been on since — when was it? During your last tour?”

Dan nodded. “It was near the end of my American leg. Last February I think?”

“A lot’s been happening since then! You have a new album coming out soon!” Jimmy said enthusiastically. Even though Dan had known that was what Jimmy was going to open with, he was still so grateful that they were starting with an easy topic.

“I do!” Dan enthused, trying to match Jimmy’s tone. “It’s set to be available for preorder tomorrow, actually.”

“That’s fantastic!” Jimmy exclaimed as if he’d just remembered and Dan hadn’t had the stagehand tell him three minutes before going live that the retailers had managed to set the sale up in the nick of time. “Does that mean you’ve named it then?”

“It’s called Love Yourself,” he said confidently with a strong nod of his head. He hesitated, just for a beat, before lifting his left hand from his knee, holding it in front of him and angling it so the camera could see his nails. “Actually, your wonderful makeup team painted some cute little hearts on my nails to help promo the album.”

On the small preview screen off stage, Dan watched one of the many cameras zoom in on his hand.

There it was. Matte silver nail polish paired with jet black hearts. On display for the world to see.

That’s what tonight was about. Not every night for the rest of his life, but some nights. Some nights, Dan knew he wanted to be like this. There were times — award shows and special concerts and even cute dates — that he wanted to embrace this aesthetic. And he wanted the world to see him embracing it. He wanted to fucking demolish the gender roles that people tried to ascribe to him and the rest of society.

Fuck that bullshit.

He shifted his hand so that it was confidently laying across Jimmy’s desk. “Look at that artistry,” he said, wiggling his fingers. “Your makeup team deserves a serious raise.”

“Oh wow!” Jimmy looked at Dan’s nails with what appeared to be a genuine smile. Warily, Dan scrutinized Jimmy’s face, looking for that glint of dislike in his eyes, that crinkle of disgust in his forehead.

Jimmy looked back up at Dan. There were none of the subtle signs of discomfort or hatred or distaste that Dan was cautiously accustomed to seeing when he defied gender roles, though. Jimmy was just… smiling. Smiling an actual, authentic smile.

“I didn’t realize anyone on our makeup team was that artistic, maybe we should have them do a nail challenge sometime,” Jimmy proposed, the crowd screaming on cue. From past experience, Dan knew the crowd was probably cheering because they had strict instructions to support any ideas Jimmy threw out, but still. There was something about hearing a crowd be supportive of anything to do with nail polish when two boys were talking about it.

Dan flashed a smile at the crowd, pointedly waggling his painted fingertips. “I’d come back for that!” Dan offered good-naturedly.

“So, the album name — Love Yourself. How’d you come up with that?”

Dan dipped his finger inside the hole slashed across his knee, and ran his fingers back and forth across the course denim fabric. It was a nervous habit he had, one he did often, and it helped ground him a bit.

“My friend,” Dan started, immediately proud of himself for not tripping up over the word friend. “It was just earlier this week actually. I was talking about some of the stuff in my life that has inspired parts of this album, and it was something he said and — I just knew.”

“That’s great that your friends are a source of inspiration for you,” Jimmy said, sounding genuinely happy for Dan. “Is there any particular meaning behind the album?”

“A few actually.” Dan took a drink out of the Tonight Show mug provided for him. “My friend originally said it while I was talking about how much I’d been hurt by someone who isn’t in my life anymore, and I was like damn, that’s so much better than the four letters I’ve been using.” Dan sent a cheeky wink at the camera. “But, on a deeper level, I’ve been unhappy for a while, and I’ve spent the beginning of this year trying to learn to be healthier and figure out what makes me happy. So the idea of calling it Love Yourself, of having the title also be a reminder to take time to do what’s right for you, seemed like the perfect antithesis to the agony that started everything.”

“Holy cow, that’s a deep album title! Can we expect a song about either of those meanings?”

“You can expect lots of songs around those themes,” Dan replied vaguely. Honestly, he he’d been well excited about the prospect of a song called Love Yourself since the words had come out of Phil’s mouth Monday night, but at the moment it was nothing more than an abstract idea.

“Now, I have to ask about the rest of the album,” Jimmy said as he turned back to face Dan, both of them settling back into their seats. “I heard you say that this is a concept album. That’s new for you!”

“It is new!” Dan agreed, nodding his head in what he hoped looked like an excited — and not seizure-like — manner. “In the past, my music has always been inspired by my life, but it’s never been centered around a main theme before.”

“I don’t know that much about music, but it feels like not many artists make concept albums anymore.”

“Sadly it’s a dying art form,” Dan sighed regretfully. “Because of the way streaming and youtube and the radio work nowadays, there’s definitely a bigger pressure on artists to create songs that are catchy and repeatable, but not necessarily meaningful.”

“You’ve been on the show a few times before, and you’ve always said that meaning is important with your music.”

“Yeah, definitely!” Dan was both happy and surprised to hear that Jimmy remembered this detail. “I’ve never released a song that I didn’t write and create, but I’ve never created an album around a proper theme.”

“That’s great then, man. Congratulations!” Dan nodded back his thanks, letting Jimmy continue the conversation. “What inspired you to write it around a theme?”

“These past few months have been crazy — mostly in a good way. As some of you may know, I was dating a model — Isabella De La Renta — for awhile,” Dan paused while the crowd made a cacophony of noise. “Things were alright for awhile, but towards the end of that relationship, things really fell apart. I realized I was in that relationship for all of the wrong reasons.”

“I think we’ve all been there,” Jimmy nodded solemnly. “How’d you figure it out?” he asked, his voice as light as ever, nevermind the fact that he was asking a deeply personal and heavy question.

“Well —” Dan hesitated for just a second, swallowing thickly before continuing. “I actually became friends with someone, and it was such a great friendship that I realized — like, if just being friends can be that good, my kind of sh— mediocre relationship wasn’t good enough anymore.”

“Okay, okay okay. I know I’m going to sound gossipy here,” Jimmy hinted, sending a look of mock seriousness at Dan. “But I’ve heard that’s just one part of the concept.”

“Um…” Dan chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah. Yeah, the, uh, not being happy in a relationship is only, like, the first third of the album.”

The crowd cheered, a mixture of excited and curious woos.

“Well, Dan, I think it’s safe to say that me and the rest of the audience are interested in knowing about the other two-thirds!”

Since centering his album around a theme, Dan had gone on this rant so many times that the words were practically second nature by now. But talking about it in front of an audience that wasn’t just Louise or Phil or his fans made it much more difficult to get the words out.

Dan’s fingers toyed at the hole in his jeans, undoubtedly making the rip larger. “Like I said, the past few months have been crazy. I actually met someone. Someone who I tried to convince myself was just a friend for a long time, but… well, I think if we look at the songs I wrote in the past few months, it’s clear that I had some feelings.”

Dan’s eyes widened as he realized how that sounded out loud. The fucking cameras and pressure were getting to his head.

“Feelings I didn’t act on,” Dan clarified fiercely.

“I love it!” Jimmy smiled, leaning in closer again and turning to direct his attention to the camera.“It’s like you’re taking us all back to sixth grade or something,” he laughed, shifting his focus back to Dan. “So tell us. You had this crush. Then what?”

“Well, then… then I couldn’t keep going in this relationship, yeah? There were a lot of other reasons, too — reasons I don’t want to get into tonight, but I’m sure will come up at some point. So that’s kind of what the rest of the album is. That moment when you realize you want something that’s different than what you have, and then that moment when you decide to go after what it is you want.”

“Now,” Jimmy said bluntly, his tone almost flat. “I don’t mean to sound like a stalker, but…”

Dan smirked. He knew where this was going. They’d talked about it beforehand — but even if they hadn’t, it was pretty obvious.

Jimmy leaned forward a bit more, his hands making a wide, emphatic gesture. “...I think we all saw your instagram post from earlier this week.”

“Yeah, that.” Dan swallowed thickly. Dan turned his attention towards the audience, pointedly splitting his gaze between them and the camera — it was something Jimmy rarely did, something guests didn’t even do more than in passing glances. But right now didn’t feel like a time to hide from public view. “Those of you who haven’t seen, I, uh, talked about my sexuality on instagram earlier this week.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dan took a deep breath. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to say the words I came out in front of a live audience, especially on a show he knew would probably go viral.

“We’ve got a copy of it here.” Jimmy held up a cardboard version of Dan’s post on his desk, letting the camera zoom in close. His voice was as light and cheerful as always. If someone was just listening to the tone, they’d never realize that Dan and him were talking about such a serious topic. “I have to say, I was so impressed when I saw your post — I thought it was so cool that you decided to color your lyrics with the, uh, what are they? Bisexual colors?”

“The bi-pride colors,” Dan offered, this time more confidently, as he eyed the jagged pink, purple and blue highlights on the card. He flicked his attention back to Jimmy. “Like I’ve said, this album is really personal and tackles the whole issue of wanting-and-then-going-for. For a while now, I’ve known that this album would never carry the weight I wanted it to if I didn’t talk about the sexuality part of it.”

Jimmy set the card to the side, turning his full attention back to Dan. “I did some reading on twitter, and it looks like a lot of people are really excited that you’re talking about being bisexual.”

“Yeah!” Dan smiled, genuinely happy about the reaction he’d gotten. He’d read some tweets too, and they’d brought tears to his eyes — both for how wonderfully supportive and kind his audience was, and for how fucking oppressive society as a whole was. But there was far more support than malice, and that definitely counted for something. “I don’t think I realized how scarce bi-representation really is in the media until I came out and saw fans making those kinds of comments.” Came out. There. He’d said it.

“Now, I don’t mean to pry,” Jimmy promised. He sounded as neutral as possible, but still, Dan knew where this conversation was going — and he knew that Jimmy was prying — he was just prying into a topic that Dan had preemptively agreed to talk about. “But I can’t help but to have noticed some accusations about your sexuality in the past few days.”

“Ha,” Dan forced out a single huff of laughter, but that was the best he could manage. “I’ve seen that too. It’s interesting how people think they know you better than you know yourself, huh?”

“It is, it is,” Jimmy sympathized, somehow managing to sound empathetic and entertaining all at once. “I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s seen De La Renta’s interview today.”

Dan dramatically tilted back in his chair, letting out an over-the-top groan. Shaking his head, he slid back up in his seat, drawing his heels up against his arse and leaning forward towards Jimmy.

“Look,” Dan started eagerly. “They all tell you that your life is, like, weirdly on display when you’re in the public eye, yeah?”

“Yeah, yeah of course. We all love The Enquirer, right?’ Jimmy asked with just enough sarcasm that it was clear Jimmy hated it just as much as Dan did.

“The thing they,” Dan emphasized, vaguely warning against the omniscient they that his audience probably wasn’t so potently aware of. “...don’t warn you about is the absolute sh— madness of it all.” Dan corrected, once again cutting himself off from swearing at the last second. “I swear, the media just analyzes every faucet of your life without ever asking you what you think sometimes.”

“It happens to all of us!” Jimmy agreed, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. “But from what I saw, Isabella really seemed to imply that you were, well, only into guys, yeah?”

Dan had specifically asked for this to come up — he wanted to address it head on. And Jimmy was definitely doing a good job of working the subject in naturally.

“She did!” Dan nodded meaningfully at the camera. “I know a lot of my followers keep up on or are a part of queer culture, and probably really caught onto the difference between me coming out as bi and Isabella talking about me being, well, gay.” Dan grimaced, and a smaller — but prominent — portion of the crowd groaned with him.

“Certainly. What happened there?” Jimmy pushed, still somehow sounding light and casual.

Dan had thought a lot about how he wanted to handle this question, both tonight and in general. There would likely come a point where Dan would rebel against the inaccuracies that Isabella had waged against him, but tonight was not the night.

“Honestly, it’s not something I’ve ever hid from partners — Isabella included. There’s a really big part of me that feels like sexuality is just… a box, right? Like, society just wants to be able to put you in the easiest box possible, and often gets frustrated when that box is different from the normal one or is difficult to define.” Dan paused, just for a beat, and ran an agitated hand through his curls.

“But,” Dan continued fiercely. “I also realize that when you’re trying to build an intimate relationship with someone, that takes honesty and openness. So, yeah, I’ve always felt the need to really explicitly tell the people I’ve dated that I’m not straight, although I’ve wavered between labels over time and still do.” Dan shifted his gaze to the audience. “It’s a part of who I am — if they can’t accept it, it’s definitely a strain on the relationship.”

The they no longer applied just to his romantic partners anymore. Now they was his whole fanbase.

“I think a lot of our younger viewers can really relate to that.”

Dan smiled with what he hoped was a reassuring smile at the camera. He reckoned a lot of people, not just younger viewers, could relate, but that wasn’t the hill he wanted to fight and die upon right now.

Jimmy leaned forward on his elbows, then, his gaze never leaving Dan. “I think we can both agree it’s crazy, but Isabella really shared a lot in that interview,” Jimmy said pointedly. Dan took a deep breath at the comment, anticipating where this conversation was headed. “She even hinted that you two had some problems in the bedroom.”

“I saw that,” Dan winced dramatically, first sending a wounded look at Jimmy, then at the camera. “Seems like a pretty private thing to share,” Dan pointed out with an awkward chuckle. No matter how uncomfortable the topic was, though, he forced himself to face Jimmy — and the camera hovering to the right of his shoulder. This was a topic that deserved — that needed — to be tackled head on. “Since it’s out there, though, I feel like I should defend myself.”

Even though Dan’s attention was half-focused on the cameras, he saw the way Jimmy’s eyebrows shot up in the viewfinder. “Remember were on at an earlier time slot now,” Jimmy teased, an edge of warning in his voice. Dan rolled his eyes good-naturedly, rather amused that Jimmy was the one to bring up sex, and now he was telling Dan to be careful with the topic.

Chuckling, Dan tried to quickly remember the PG way he’d planned to talk about his and Isabella’s sex life. After a few seconds’ hesitation, Dan licked his lips and hesitantly started to explain. “Like she said, things were great for a while, but towards the end, uh, some stuff kind of stopped.”

Dan shifted his attention from Jimmy, instead turing to face the audience and cameras dead-on. What he had to say — he didn’t want it to get buried in conversation. He wanted every single fucking person who watched tonight’s program to get his message loud and clear.

With a final gulp, Dan forced himself to continue as confidently as possible. “I hate the implication that it stopped because she’s a girl — that idea really feeds into the bi-erasure that’s a huge problem in society. The truth is, I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that I wanted someone else, and I guess I just didn’t feel right doing… physical stuff if I wasn’t in it romantically anymore.”

“Bi-erasure,” Jimmy noted. “I’ve seen you talk about that in some of your twitter replies. Can you tell the audience and I more about that?”

Dan shuffled again, this time shifting to sit cross-legged in his chair. Nodding, he took a sip out of his mug again as he mentally prepared what he wanted to say — this he hadn’t asked Jimmy to bring up, but Dan was so, so glad that Jimmy had.

“Society has this tendency to think in binaries,” Dan started hesitantly, gaining confidence as he pieced together his inner thoughts. He tipped forward, elbows on his knees, hands gesticulated wildly. “Like, people are boy or girl, morals are black or white, sexuality is gay or straight. But that’s not how the real world works. People aren’t always male or female — there’s an entire population of genderqueer folks. More often than not, morals are ambiguous and fall somewhere in the grey zone. And sexuality, that’s not a binary either. And for some reason, people have a hard time wrapping their minds around that.”

Jimmy looked like he might say something, but Dan barreled on. “Like Isabella said in that interview, I’ve had girls worry that I wasn’t going to be forever satisfied because they didn’t have a — you know,” Dan said pointedly, not sure if he could say penis on American television. “But the prejudice doesn’t always stop inside of the queer community, either. I’ve had guys — guys that I was in proper relationships with — tell me that I wasn’t gay enough for them.” Dan shook his head, clearing those memories from his head. “I don’t want to overgeneralize, not everyone is like this, but it’s a real and pervasive problem.”

Eyes wide, Jimmy looked at Dan with a slightly taken-aback look. It wasn’t a bad taken-aback — it was the kind of taken-aback that made it clear that Jimmy had never thought about the point Dan was making and was doing so now.

It was the kind of taken-aback that Dan was striving to make half the world feel tonight.

“Honestly, as someone who is straight, I’ve never realized that this was such a big issue.” Jimmy’s face was morphing into a more concerned and caring expression. “What words of advice do you have for people dating bisexuals?”

Dan’s brow furrowed, but only for a second. The answer was easier than he’d anticipated.

He turned, directly addressing the audience and camera. “If you’re dating someone who is attracted to more than one gender — whether they are bi or pan or demi or something else I should know but am forgetting — remember that we really aren’t different from you. Sure, our selection pool is a bit wider, but that means we picked you out of all the people. Your gender or sex have nothing to do with why we fell in love with you. If you identified as the opposite gender or had the opposite parts, we still would have fallen in love with you. To me, that sounds like a compliment, not something to be afraid of.”

There was a soft ahhh from a substantial portion of the audience — not all of them, but enough.

“When you put it that way, I think it’ll be hard for people to not agree with you.” Jimmy said with a smile, sounding rather congratulatory.

“As much as I wish that were true, Jimmy, that’s not always the case.”

There was a split second of shock in Jimmy’s eyes — he must not have expected Dan to be so bluntly honest about the topic. But he recovered quickly, offering Dan a kind smile. “Maybe not always or everyone, but with advocates like you speaking out with knowledge and pride, maybe the needle can move some.”

Jimmy was right — Dan couldn’t make absolutely everyone everywhere understand, but even in his small private circle, he’d moved the metaphorical needle. He dad had stopped thinking of him as gay years ago. Several partners were comfortable with it after discussion. If patience and talking and resilience could make a difference with the people in Dan’s life, then maybe it could make a difference on the larger scale, too. At least with some of them.

God damn it, he was going to try.

Dan batted his eyelashes, deliberately hoping to draw attention to his makeup. “Maybe,” Dan agreed with determination.

Behind the camera, he could see the director motioning for them to wrap it up.

“Thank you for sharing with us!” Jimmy said to Dan, sounding a bit showier than he had for the past several minutes. Without waiting for Dan’s response, Jimmy shifted his attention to the camera. “After the break, we’ll play a fan-favorite game. And stay tuned for later, because Dan is going to perform a brand-new song from his album!”

The commercial almost felt like a relief after the high pressure, high stakes conversations they’d been having that were set to air on cable television. Dan knew the cameras were still rolling, that the light conversations they were having would end up in a youtube video, but the mood was far more relaxed. It was a much needed break after such an intense interview.

The 3-2-1 countdown from the crew jolted Dan out of the more pleasant atmosphere, quickly putting him back on his toes.

“Welcome back to the show, everybody! Tonight I am here with Daniel Howell!” Jimmy yelled. Dan waved, trying to offer a smile that matched Jimmy’s enthusiasm, but he doubted that anyone who didn’t make their living on late night tv could possibly come close. “For those of you who missed the first part of the show, Dan has a new album, Love Yourself, available for preorder tomorrow!” Jimmy paused, letting the audience clap and show their support. “And if any of you have been living under a rock, Dan recently came out as bisexual.”

The cheering grew louder, and Dan’s heart fucking melted. Sure, the audience was pretty much contractually obligated to cheer at whatever Jimmy announced about his guests, but they didn’t have to cheer louder for Dan’s sexuality than his music.

And yet, they were.

“So Dan,” Jimmy said, turning his attention from the cameras to Dan. “You’ve said this announcement is a step towards being more open with your audience.”

“That’s right, Jimmy. Trying to live my truth and whatnot,” Dan smirked cheekily.

“Well, we’ve got a little game we play here on The Tonight Show, one that might help you with that.”

“Oh you do, do you?” Dan played along, despite knowing exactly where this bit was going.

“I consider myself a fairly honest person, too, but I want to know who is more honest.” Jimmy turned dramatically to the camera. “It’s time to play… Truth… or Truth.”

The “Truth or Truth” jingle played so loudly that it genuinely did make Dan jump. He exhaled dramatically, feigning a look of terror and determination. “I’m nervous,” Dan warned dramatically.

Jimmy waved his hand, mock bowing to Dan. “You can ask me first then,” Jimmy offered with overstated sincerity.

Dan wiggled in his seat, shifting to the very edge of it and propping his elbows on Jimmy’s desk. “Alright then, Fallon, choose wisely,” Dan advised gravely, his head coming to rest in his hands. “Truth... or truth?”

Matching Dan’s stance, Jimmy cradled his chin in his hands, his elbows landing on the desk and sliding forward until they bumped against Dan’s. “I think I better pick… truth,” Jimmy decided, his face just centimeters from Dan’s.

Dan pumped his eyebrows a single time, a small smirk on his face. “If you could only wear one article of clothing for the rest of your life, what would it be.”

“Easy,” Jimmy answered, pulling back from their close-quarters staring contest. “Socks. So my feet don’t get cold.”

A snort of laughter forced its way out of Dan — it was probably ridiculously unattractive, but he was trying so hard to keep his face impassive and sincere. Swallowing down any remaining laughter, Dan nodded seriously as he appraised Jimmy’s answer.

Jimmy leaned back in, his eyes exaggeratedly narrowed into slits. “Daniel. James. Howell. Truth… or truth?” he asked, his palms slapping the desk.

Melodramatically, Dan pulled back, collapsing against his chair. “If I have to pick…” Dan pretended to waffle as he ran a tense hand down his face. “... Truth.”

“What do you consider…” Jimmy wiggled his head around in what would probably be a dramatic fashion if it was less absurd. “...to be the perfect date?”

Dan perked back up. “Mario Kart,” he answered confidently. His tongue darted out to lick his lips and he waggled his eyebrows absurdly. “Just me… Peach… and Luigi.” Dan rested one arm on the desk, leaning his cheek into his fist. Coyly, Dan flicked his gaze up at Jimmy. “Driving all. Night. Long.”

Hints of a smile pulled at Jimmy’s face, and he ducked his head before schooling his expression back into a serious gaze. “Hit me, Howell,” Jimmy said seriously.

“Not until after the show, Jimmy,” Dan teased brazenly, winking saucily.

His sudden cheekiness seemed to catch them both off guard, and they both struggled to hold in their laughter. Somehow, Jimmy seemed closer to properly losing it than Dan — maybe that said something about Dan’s sexual preferences. Not necessarily a bad thing.

With a sharp swallow, Dan found his composure again and looked Jimmy in the eye. “For now though, truth or truth?”

“I suppose…” Jimmy trailed off, sighing and dropping his head backwards, like he was looking to the heavens for help. “Truth?”

Dan wiggled his fingers evilly. “If tomorrow was going to be your last show… who would you want to be your guest?”

Shiftily, Jimmy’s eyes darted back and forth. “Nicolas Cage,” he said at last. Dan quirked an eyebrow, silently urging him to explain. “Because I wouldn’t want anyone to outshine me.”

A burst of laughter bubbled in Dan’s throat, but he forced himself to stay calm. It wasn’t easy, not when Jimmy was leering at him like that. Dan nodded once, trying to look satisfied with Jimmy’s answer.

“Truth or truth?” Jimmy asked, almost aggressive, the words coming out in a fast jab.

Feeding of Jimmy’s abrupt energy, Dan quickly responded, “Truth.”

Jimmy clapped once. His hands loudly fell to the desk immediately after, almost sounding like an echo of the clap. “What was your dream birthday party as a kid?”

Dan’s eyes flickered down to his lap as he formulated a response, his lips nearly tipping up into a smile. Head still down, Dan gazed up at Jimmy through his eyelashes. “I don’t know. No one ever showed up.”

Jimmy’s eyes clamped shut and he shook his head with mock-pity. “And suddenly everything makes sense.”

“Ouch!” Dan exclaimed, one hand flying to his heart. Recovering, Dan readjusted and tilted forward again. “Your last turn, what’s it going to be?” Dan asked challengingly. “Truth or… truth?”

“I think this time…” Jimmy drummed his fingers on the desk, pausing for a few full seconds. “I’ll go with… truth.”

Sinisterly, Dan rapped his fingers his chin, subtly showing off his nail polish some more. “Alright, now be honest. What was your best subject in school?”

Jimmy nodded slowly, seeming to think over Dan’s question intensely. “Detention.”

Dan’s fingers slid up to cover his lips, hiding the grin that was threatening to break out. Aborted laughter nearly choked him, his breath coming hard. For some reason, Dan’s mind had conjured up an image of Jimmy in the kind of Catholic-school detention that he’d only seen in movies, Nun, ruler and all.

Eyes narrowing, Jimmy leaned forward in mock-seriousness. The corners of his mouth were quivering as his lips threatened to turn upwards into a smile. Dan prepared himself for whatever absurd thing Jimmy was about to say.

“So Dan,” Jimmy started slowly. “When you go on tour... top... or bottom... bunk?

A huff of laughter bubbled up in Dan’s throat, but he managed to swallow it down before it ruined his stoic expression.

Jimmy’s lips were pulling up into a smile — it was clear he knew exactly what he’d asked.

“Depends… how I’m feeling.” Dan responded just as slowly, a mischievous glint in his eye. Very deliberately, he darted his tongue out, wetting his bottom lip. “I like... to switch it up.”

And there it was. He’d just told the entire world that he liked to bottom (and top).

Jimmy, for his part, completely broke out of his somber facade and broke down in laughter. The tension seemed to completely snap, and laughing was suddenly the only thing Dan could do too. Their laughter fed into each other, and just when they started to collect themselves, their eyes met and they started laughing again.

Pointedly turning away from Dan, Jimmy addressed the camera. “Well here you have it, Dan Howell is flexible about what bed he sleeps in. That was truth or truth, everyone! After the break, Dan will perform a new song off his album.”

Unlike the last “commercial break”, the main set lights flickered off and everyone rushed into a flurry of movement to prepare the set for Dan’s performance. The desk and chairs were whisked away, Jimmy moved to the side of the stage, a microphone stand appeared out of nowhere.

Dan almost didn’t feel like he didn’t have time to breathe.

The show may not air live, but the crew clearly didn’t waste any time when the cameras weren’t rolling. Before Dan knew it, a random stage-hand was pulling him into place, positioning him in front of a microphone and handing him his guitar.

“Check, check,” a girl said into the microphone, the sound of the mic carrying throughout the entire studio. Strumming a random cord, Dan checked his guitar, too, finding it was picked up nicely. The opening two chords of the studio-recorded accompanying music played.

Everything sounded fine, exactly as it had earlier during rehearsals. Now all that was left was to actually perform.

Dan took a shaky breath. He wasn’t normally one for stage-fright or nerves, but he was still riding a tsunami of emotions from today’s article, from Isabella’s slander, from her cheating, from everything.

Over the loudspeakers, Dan heard Jimmy introduce him, but Dan was too wrapped up in his own mind to process what he was saying.

The lights blasted back on. The time had come.

Dan stepped forward, closing the small distance between him and the mic. “Thank you for having me, New York!”

The crowd cheered loudly, and Dan took a deep breath while they calmed down.

“Toxic relationships suck — I would know. They bring out the worst in both partners, and it usually just blows up from there. I recently got out of a really toxic relationship with my ex-girlfriend, Isabella De La Renta. I’m sure some of you have read her side of the story. This is mine.”

Dan took a deep breath, swinging his guitar into place. “This song is called Tell me I’m a Wreck.”

Dan strummed the opening cords on his guitar.

“I could have been easier on you,” he started singing, opening the song with an apology.

He knew he hadn’t been a perfect boyfriend to Isabella — in so, so many ways, he’d been a downright ass to her, actually. In hindsight, he’d never fucking cared about her. When they’d fought, he’d fought dirty — something he especially recognized now after his first fight with Phil. And sure, maybe she’d fought dirty, too, but that didn’t mean Dan had to. He didn’t like who he’d been inside that relationship.

But it wasn’t just that. Isabella had steadily driven Dan to dislike himself, himself as an entire person.

“I’m struggling to see the better side of me.”

Slowly but surely, her jabs and taunts and the way she’d pointed out his every flaw had begun to unwind years of therapy and progress towards mental stability. Looking back at the end of last year, Dan could now so clearly see that he was on the brink of diving back into another depressive episode.

It was no wonder he’d walked away. Not when...

“When you tell me I'm a wreck, You say that I'm a mess.”

Honestly, if Isabella was such a self-absorbed bitch, he’d be surprised that she wasn’t expecting this.

He’d tried to be upfront with her, he really had. Hell, he’d flat out told her that he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, that he wasn’t looking to settle down with her.

And yet, Isabella had the fucking nerve to shout to the world that Dan had fucked her over somehow.

But only after begging him to take her back, of course. She clearly didn’t know him at all if she had seriously thought that there was any chance in hell of that working.

“Remember on my twenty-third birthday, you took me where we went on our first date,”

Dan honestly couldn’t think of a single good memory with her — and not in the way that memories become tainted once a relationship is over. This felt more like clarity, like he was finally able to look back on memories he’d thought were positive and see them for what they really were: unstable and unhappy. Toxic.

Looking back, Dan recalled the ends to the nights he once had considered perfect dates. He now saw how imperfect they really were, realized how they’d all ended in fights — usually pointless arguments that Isabella picked, but sometimes he was the culprit, too.

“We stayed til closing time. After four glasses of wine, You started up a pointless argument!”

That wasn’t the kind of relationship he wanted, not at all. He’d made it clear, as clear as he could anyway, that he wasn’t in it for the long haul. And yet, there was that night when they were at dinner with his parents and she was dropping hints about fucking wedding rings.

“Whatever made you think we were meant to be?”

Not when she constantly belittled him, not when she made him feel like shit about every part of himself. Not when she had heard him say it wouldn’t last.

Sure, maybe she was screaming to the world about how badly Dan had wronged her, but Dan was willing to bet ever pence in his bank account that if he went to her tomorrow and offered to get back together, she’d say yes.

And maybe some part of her even believed that if she shouted loud enough, that if she screamed enough slanderous things, Dan would take her back just to shut her up.

But then again,

“I guess you never knew me at all.”

a/n: truth or truth video example; tell me i’m a wreck by every avenue

and thanks to the anon like fourteen years ago who suggested this song :)

[hazeltailofficial]

HOLIDAY FLASHBACK

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TUTORIAL + REVIEW BLOG POST

Sephora Glitz & Glam Set Tutorial + Review/First Impressions

hazeltail on youtube / hazeltailofficial on tiktok / hazeltailofficial on ig / @hazeltailofficial / @hazeltail

[sarah-samedi]

During my teens, I listened to a lot of metal and industrial; the heavier the better. It made me feel good, feel strong when I wasn’t in control of so many aspects of my life at the time. I saw a lot of live music, collected t-shirts of obscure bands, and screamed in rage alongside bands like Fear Factory, Morbid Angel and White Zombie. I wore a lot of black, ringing my eyes in liner and mascara, and blended Cover Girl foundation furiously into my complexion to contrast starkly against my dark hair.

Now that both my skills and taste in products have become better, I decided to play up my industrial side (including an industrial barbell in my left ear), complete with an old Ministry shirt.  A gathering of clean tools included my Beauty Blender, Sephora Pro Collection Fan Brush 53 for contouring, Morphe M124 for shadow application and blending, and good old Lancôme flat-top blush brush #75.

When I went for colour selection, that was actually what I didn’t want: colour. I chose blacks and greys, and the palest foundation I could find — Sephora Collection Airbrush Foundation in Cream. The black products came in the form of Phoera Cream Eyeshadow in 08 Midnight, and the same colour name and number to the Phoera Matte Glitter Lip Stain.

To be honest, I loved the lip stain, which was creamy and black as tar until tacky; I pressed my lips together and the more I manipulated this awesome product, the more glittery it became, like stars coming out on a dark night. The shadow, on the other hand, while glittery, had almost no pigment when I blended it out. Disappointing!

Over this I applied Blackheart to get the depth of pigment that I wanted, and moved on to filling my brows with Dark Grey brow powder from my usual Kiss i-Envy brand. The powder itself shattered, so eventually I’ll get around to making a paste of it out of rubbing alcohol of 70% or higher (I use 99%, myself). When the alcohol evaporates, the powder will be usable again as a whole rather than patting at grains of shattered product in the bottom of a pan.

Liner was ringed against my waterline in Feline, by MAC, and that was followed by an application of false lashes; these were an old favourite from House of Lashes: Noir Fairy. Duo Glue and Kush Mascara finished up this black-black-black-black-number-one eye makeup, and all that was left was the epic decision of “do I wear bangs or no?” I couldn’t decide, so I caught pictures of my hair both ways.

Once I was done grabbing the selfies I really liked, it all came off using Farmacy Green Clean oil cleanser, because GOSH those Phoera products are waterproof, and that was impressive. A drop of LaNeige’s Water Bank Creme mixed with two drops of Farsáli’s Volcanic Elixir had my skin glowing and clean and ready for me to crash out.

So here I go. xoxo, Sarah.

Black Bettie / Silver Fox 🏴🐺 During my teens, I listened to a lot of metal and industrial; the heavier the better. It made me feel good, feel strong when I wasn't in control of so many aspects of my life at the time.

[terrapiner]

Natral mackup

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Try out this popular natural eyeshadow look for a classic trend sans the dramatic color. Nothing says natural makeup like a brown smokey eye. Spritz your face with the L’Oréal Paris Infallible Pro-Spray and Set Make-Up Oil-Free Setting Spray for a “just-applied” natural makeup look that lasts and lasts. Now that your natural makeup look is complete, make sure you apply a setting spray to seal the deal. Try the L’Oréal Paris Colour Riche Lipstick Matte Lipstick in Matte-Caron or the L’Oréal Paris Colour Riche Lipstick Shine Lipstick in Shining Peach.Įditor’s note: Pretty lip colors that closely match your natural lip hue have a name in the beauty industry: MLBB colors (a.k.a. To complete your natural makeup look, you’ll want to use a lip color that is not too far off from your natural lip. Try the L’Oréal Paris Air Volume Mega Mascara, Lightweight Mega Volume Washable in Black Brown for dramatic volume in a more natural shade. Keep your lashes light and natural with a few coats of brown mascara. Try the L’Oréal Paris Infallible Pro-Last Waterproof, Up to 24HR Pencil Liner in Black. Instead of opting for winged eyeliner, keep things simple with a thin line across your upperline. Build the color until it’s blended evenly. Using the same palette mentioned above, apply a medium matte brown shade to the outer corner and crease. Now that you have a base color in place, you can add some depth to your natural eye makeup look. We recommend using one of the neutral shades from the L’Oréal Paris Paradise Enchanted Scented Eyeshadow Palette. Start by applying a nude eye shadow shade all over your lid. It’s time to give your eyes a natural pop. Brush on the L’Oréal Paris Brow Stylist Boost & Set Brow Mascara for a fuller appearance. Of course, you won’t want to overdo it by creating “Instagram brows.” All you need to do is lightly fill in your arches. Nowadays, brows are essential for any makeup look-this one included. Finish this step by swiping the L’Oréal Paris Infallible Longwear Highlighter Shaping Sticks in Gold is Cold along your cheekbones, bridge of your nose, and cupid’s bow for a warm, natural-looking highlight. Apply it to your cheekbones in a “C” and inverted “C” shape using a light hand. Then, dip your brush in a neutral blush shade.

Natral mackup skin#

First, apply the L’Oréal Paris True Match™ Lumi Bronze It Bronzer to the hollows of your cheeks, temples, and jawline to give your skin a sun-kissed look. To continue with this natural makeup look, highlight and define your features. Apply the L’Oréal Paris Infallible Pro-Glow Foundation using the L’Oréal Paris Infallible Blend Artist Foundation Blender to give your skin medium, all-day coverage with a glowing finish.

Natral mackup full#

Once you’ve applied your makeup primer, you want to create the impression of flawless skin, while at the same time not advertising the fact that you’re wearing a full face of makeup. Apply the L’Oréal Paris Infallible Pro-Glow Lock Makeup Primer to give your skin an all-over natural glow. With any makeup look, it’s essential to use a makeup primer to even out your skin, prep for foundation, and make it last all day long. This look will become your go-to in no time as it’s great at highlighting your natural features. It’s time to give your colorful makeup a break and embrace a softer look. Below, we’re sharing a few natural makeup tutorials, including natural eyeshadow ideas, that will take your look to the next level. If you’re looking for the middle ground between the no makeup, makeup look and a statement makeup trend-a natural makeup look is just what you need. A chic way to flaunt a flawless face without all the bold colors, natural makeup offers a toned-down option for work or a pretty and soft alternative for your everyday makeup. While we love a full face of makeup, it can be worth switching things up with natural makeup looks from time to time.

[mrstanyakirk]

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