#watching while trying to watch the mavs game so it took two quarters to write this

[erwinsvow]

bitchy!reader being jealous at a party when she sees rafe talking to some girl and then finding out its a girl he has either slept with in the past or shes been all over him since before they were toghether. Reader makes a scene calling her out for being all over her man

yess but bitchy reader is a menace, she doesnt care abt any girls but she'll be soo mean to rafe abt it😭😭 this has to be pre-dating bc she would never let rafe disrespect her like that & he knows not to

when you catch rafe's eyes again, you feel a familiar sense of self-satisfaction course through your veins. of course he's looking—he should be surprised he can even look away.

you always look great, but today is something special, a pretty strapless dress decorating your body, something similar to the color of rafe's eyes. so, like always, it's no wonder he can't look away.

but you can't let the bastard think he's got you thinking about how often he is looking at you. it's all very confusing, so you don't glance back, trying to stay engrossed in your conversation with your friends. a few drinks and thirty minutes later, your eyes travel back to rafe.

and though he is still looking at you, there's some other girl in front of him, talking to him. the girl you recognize, someone who used to frequent tannyhill. on more than one occasion she's wandered down the kitchen when you and sarah are making waffles and sipping overpriced coffee. when you'd seen her, she'd been in rafe's clothes.

you hadn't cared much then, treated her the same you'd treat anyone. even now, with the girl in front of him trying to capture his attention and the idiot's eyes still on you, you feel the same—mildly annoyed at her, beyond irritated at him.

he thinks he can make you jealous. it's even cute that he's trying. this time you do stare back at rafe, a little annoyed at yourself for thinking about how cute he looks today. you like him in blue, you like that he's matching you.

"why are you staring at my brother?" sarah questions, and you smile in his direction.

"get your shit straight, sarah. he's staring at me." you wave at rafe, smiling sweetly before looking away. you don't have to see his face to know how it fell at your reaction.

"ugh. now he's coming over here. i'm not sticking around for this." you direct your smile at sarah.

"who asked you to stay?" she rolls her eyes at you.

"match made in heaven," she mutters, walking away in the other direction. when rafe approaches you, you stay seated on the couch, sipping your drink and observing your nails. they're baby blue—and you wonder how you'd come to that decision in the salon yesterday. of course, you know the answer.

"what the hell was that?" rafe barks, and you resist the eyeroll for as long as you can. last time he said if you rolled them at him again, he'd slap them out of your head, and though you want to test his theory, you'd prefer it in the privacy of his bedroom.

"just saying hi, rafe. you know i've met that poor girl before, at tannyhill. i'm surprised you even let her sleep over, you seem like the type-"

"can you shut up about her? what the hell was-"

"you already said that. and why would i shut up? you're the one yapping away to her. you know, you must be great in bed."

"excuse me?"

"i mean, you treat a girl that shitty and she's still willing to speak to you? she must remember something good. but knowing you it can't be for the conversation."

"..thanks?"

"you're welcome." you glance up at him again, but your eyes track back to the girl watching the two of you, the one he left behind to come talk to you. "i know you're a dick but don't be a dick. go finish talking to her. it's rude."

"i don't wanna talk to her."

"well, you're not talking to me."

"d'you have to make everything so fuckin' hard?"

"you're the one trying to make me jealous by talking to some poor girl! did you think i'd appreciate that?"

"why can't you just get jealous like you're supposed to?"

"you are such a jackass. maybe if you acted, like, a normal person-"

"oh, you're one to fuckin' talk. normal person my ass. you cuss me out every chance you get-"

"stop engaging in behavior that gets you cussed out then."

"shut up."

"you shut up!"

you both stare at each other for a moment.

"you wanna come to tannyhill with me?"

"yeah. let's go."

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Compromised Earth.”

Sorry guys, I was super exhausted today, and my brain wasn’t thinking up anything else it wanted to write. I will try to get out some now and inventive ideas in the next week, but today you get another recovery continuation since that is what my brain wanted to write lol

I hope you still like and have a great day :) 

His entire body hurt,

Not like it had before, obviously, more of a dull ache, the kind that comes after a day of really hard physical training after years of inactivity, but in that case, it still meant he was having trouble moving. He lay on his bed, in his quarters propped up by an ungodly amount of pillows. He honestly wasn’t entirely sure where Sunny had found them all only to assume that she had probably gone around stealing them from people.

If that was the case, at least no one said anything.

Aside from that, she had gone out of her way to assign someone to watch him when she couldn't be there. He was still experiencing some withdrawal symptoms,and she was unreasonably worried that something would happen with his health.

Katie, Krill, Ramirez, Mav, and a few others were taking it in shifts to watch him. He was sure if he was a little less of an extrovert, he would have hated it, but honestly the company was a comfort and it helped him to sleep easier knowing someone was there.

Ramirez was there now playing something on a vintage handheld gaming system of some sort cursing under his breath occasionally when things didn’t go his way. He looked up in concern, probably worried that he had disturbed the Commander’s sleep, though Adam was honestly fine, drifting in and out and in and out as the occasion called for it.

Recovery was slow and painful, and those some had suggested it, he refused meds to dull the pain.

He could already feel the hinted prod of long dormant cravings and so refused any and all painkillers knowing that, if he gave in once, he would be more likely to do it, again, and again, and again.

At least now he could stand, though only for short periods of time. Long enough to get up to go to the bathroom and take very short, hot showers, though both activities tended to leave him absolutely exhausted. 

The Spiderlings had visited him earlier in the day babysat by Waffles and Dr. Katie, The had been very excited to see him, and he in return, though he had only been able to manage their presence for a short amount of time before being forced to send them off too tired to keep his eyes open.

He was just drifting off to sleep again when a commotion outside the door startled him awake. Ramirez stood form his seat a concerned expression on his face, setting his handheld down on the chair behind him and walking over to the door.

“What is it?”’

Ramirez shook his head and held up a hand, “Just let me check it out.” The door hissed open and then shut filling the room with a swelling of voices for a short moment.

“He's resting!”

He sat up recognizing sunny’s angered voice.

“I know that, but this is urgen-”

The door was shut, and the sound of voices was cut off leaving only the distant humming of muffled words. He pushed himself higher up in his sitting position, eyes squeezing shut against the ache.

He leaned forward, but couldn’t make out what was being said.

The longer it went on the more impatient he got, before eventually throwing his legs over the side of the bed and slowly getting to his feet. 

His back and legs screamed in protest, and the metal of the ship was cool beneath his feet as he limped on both legs, to the door. Despite having one mechanical leg, his body was in so much pain that it didn’t bother to relegate the agony to a single side. THe door hissed open, only for him to find Ramirez, Sunny and Waffles facing off against an official UNSC officer looking more than a bit frazzled by the hostility being projected by his two crewmen, and now the dog, who also seemed less than pleased about this turn of events.

As the door opened, they all turned to look at him.

What a sight he must have been, shirtless, and covered in bandages facing off against some pretty severe irritation from the Steel-Eye suit. The skin about his back, arms and chest was extremely inflamed and irritated, making his already haggard appearance even more so. The officer quickly solution, while the other two looked at him in concern coming to his side to make sure he was ok.

Ramirez offered him an arm, but he waved it off, “What is this all about?”

The officer nodded nervously, “I am so sorry to bother you commander, but there have been some developments in relation to the burg, and the UNSC is calling a meeting to deal with it. Not to mention there have been some…. Questions as to your methods during the last engagement that the brass would like to discuss. They understand that you are still recovering, but based on recent circumstances, we cannot put things off any longer.”

“Like hell you can’t” Sunny snarled 

Adam held up a hand to her, “Let me get changed, and I will accompany you.”

Both Sunny and Ramirez sputtered in protest as the officer saluted, the two of them following him back into his rooms with arguments on their tongues.

He limped over to the closet doors, ignoring them as it hissed open, reaching in to grab out a white shirt.

“Adam, you can barely walk, the UNSC has no right to ask you to come in if you aren’t recovered.” Sunny seemed to be working herself up into a killing mood.

The threaded one of his arms through a sleeve, painstakingly pulling the shirt closed fingers fumbling with the buttons, “This is my job, Sunny, and I intend to do it.”

Ramirez held out his hands, “But Sir, I am sure there is some sort of compromise. Maybe they could project you in as a hologram, that way you wouldn’t need to use up all your strength.”

Adam turned to look at him, “As commander of the UNSC fleet, I hardly intend to give off an air of weakness to my superiors. I can walk, so I will go. Or I may at the very least, try.”

“And slow down your recovery.” Sunny interjected 

“If that’s what I must do.”

“I get your loyalty, Adam, but sometimes I think you cave to unreasonable demands.” He had gotten the shirt on and had managed to pants as well, despite his screaming back. 

Shoes were going to be a real bitch.

He pulled on his uniform jacket and plucked his hat from its spot atop  a shelf stuffing it onto his head as his shoulders seemed to moan with the agony.

“My mind is made up.”

He bent down to retrieve his shoes, but was struck by an excessive bout of pain that seemed to radiate up his spine and into his limbs. His knuckles were white against the door-frame.

Ramirez hurried forward, helped him to stand and retrieved his pushing him back to sit on the edge of the bed. He sighed in relief feeling only mildly embarrassed as Ramirez knelt to help put on the shoes.

Sunny didn’t look pleased, but offered Ramirez the other shoe when he was done with the first.

Ramirez looked up, “We can’t change your mind? 

Adam shook his head, “No.”

“Then we will accompany you. Make sure you don’t overwork yourself.” He glanced over at Sunny, “Right.”

She was clearly displeased, but nodded her bird-like head, “I will carry you if I must.” She glowered at him, “or if I feel like you are growing too stupid to take care of your own health.”

Her words tugged a half-hearted smile from him, “How sweet.”

He stood again, slowly helped to his feet by Ramirez, and together they stepped out of the room and off down the hall.

He tried to walk with a purpose, but after the first hallway he was beginning to wonder if he hadn’t been too hasty in his assessment of his own strength. His feet were like led boot encased in concrete, his back hurt horrendously, and his chest was feeling a little tight, though he kept that to himself.

Their pace had significantly slowed by the time he made it to cargo bay, And both Ramirez and Sunn were looking at him as if they expected him to collapse at any moment.

He was glad they were there for that eventuality for it was definitely seeming like an eventuality now. The officer was waiting for him, and upon seeing his face, the man’s eyes grew wide and his skin blanched.

Did he really look that bad?

“Are you alright, commander.”

“Yes, let's just get inside so I can sit down.” The man didn’t argue with him, hurrying onto the UNSC shuttle.

Climbing up that ramp might as well have been climbing up Everest, and the only relief was a seat waiting for him when they stepped on.

He took his seat to exhausted to even keep his eyes open.

Aware partially of Sunny and Ramirez buckling the harness around him before taking their own seats.

He fell asleep on the way in, or at least he thought he did, jostled awake when landing came.

It took everything he had to force his eyes back open and unstrap himself from the seat. Ramirez took his offered hand and pulled him to his feet.

His legs were so weak.

Light spilled in from the Shuttle doors, and together they stepped outside into the light of earth. He closed his eyes for the sun on his skin, which helped to make him feel just a little better.

“Commander.”

He looked up, surprised to find a good portion of the UNSC brass waiting for him at the base of the ramp.

His old captain , now Admiral Kelly being one of those.

She took one look at him and frowned immediately, “Are you alright, Commander.” 

He limped down the ramp, “yes ma’am, I’m fine.”

“You look like shit…. And that’s me being diplomatic.”

He gave a weak smile as the others looked on in concern, “I'll be alright as long as we get somewhere where I can sit.” 

“Then let's hurry and do that.” Admiral Kelly, grabbed him by the arm and steered him over to a waiting truck.

It felt like his knees were going to buckle but he managed to get in, with some help from Sunny.

He fell asleep again resting against Sunny’s shoulder shaken awake when the truck pulled to a stop in front of UNSC headquarters. There was a party waiting for them, and he was deeply regretting agreeing to this.

He climbed out of the Truck behind Sunny stumbling when his feet hit the pavement.

Ramirez grabbed him by the arm and helped him to stand.

A light trembled had started up in his body, and he felt as if he was going to collapse.

He was so dizzy, his legs were so weak.

The party came to meet with him, “We are sorry Commander, that this was such a bad time, but there have been some developments with the Burg, we required discussing with you immediately.”

He nodded, though only half understanding what they were saying.”

“You plan managed to foil the larger part of the attack, but it looks like a Tesraki agent, paid off by the other side managed to get into the Gromm city, and steal some of the warp codes to sell for a prophet. We can’t be sure, but earth might have been on that list.”

“That sure got his attention.”

“The Burg might have our warp codes.”

“Yes.”

“Did you contact the GA?”

“Immediately.”

“Good… hopefully they might help us get a Nexus up in time.” His feet were a hundred pounds each sliding towards 1000. The curb before him was a seven foot leap.

He stepped up and…. Made it, by the skin of his teeth.

He pulled the other foot up and paused on the edge of the curb staring straight forward.

“We have already begun construction-.”

They continued talking, and he heard himself respond a few times. The faces before him warped in and out of focus continuing to speak. He spoke, though he had no idea what he was saying.

His vision started to go white.

It honestly scared him.

He had passed out before, and his vision had gone black, but this time it started to go white washing everything of color as he stared forward. His ears rang and his head spun.

Before he knew it he was sitting on the ground.

“Get his head down, between his knees.” Someone was saying.

A hand rested on his back.

He was breathing hard, but every time he tried to lift his head, the world started to go white again.

So he stayed there, not sure for how long before, finally he was able to lift his head.

A group of very worried people and one Alien stood around him. Sunny knelt at his side, Ramirez at his other, and a couple of the Admirals in front of him, others standing behind.

“Sweet mother earth, commander, we thought you were having a stroke.”

“The paramedics are on their way.” Someone was saying 

“Call them off.” He mumbled, “I’m ok, just a little lightheaded.”

“If we had known you were this sick, commander, we would never have asked you to come.” 

“We tried to tell you that.” Sunny snapped, but Adam rested a hand on her arm.

“Relax Sunny, they had no way of knowing. Help me up.”

She hesitated.

“Help me up.” He ordered, and she did so only grudgingly. He was back on his feet now though he kept his head down worried the world would go white again.

“Do you need a doctor?’ someone was asking.

A bottle of water was pressed into one of his hands.

He took a drink letting the cool liquid slide down his throat, “I'm alright.’

I’m alright ended up amounting to almost passing out three more times before they made it to the ‘war room’ and that was before Sunny began ignoring his orders and simply carried him the rest of the way.

He would have been embarrassed, if he had the cognitive capacity to do so, and probably would have been embarrassed when the paramedics showed up to place and IV and look him over once they got there.

They offered medication.

He refused.

Still concerned at the little cravings hinting at the back of his mind.

But there were more important things to deal with than that, one of them being the Burg.

And their possible knowledge of earth’s location.

At least he had managed to save SOME planets

[junker-town]

The 5 saddest NBA title defenses of the last 20 years

Dwyane Wade and Shaq had a lifeless title defense for the Miami Heat.

These are the NBA title defenses that never got off the ground floor.

At the onset of Mike Prada’s incredible and emotionally wrought plan to crown the best team in NBA history that never won a championship, several clubs that fell short of raising a banner were disqualified based on the exercise’s criteria. Specifically, teams coming off their own title run, only to have their defense cut short by inexplicable disappointment, bouts of bad luck, or some combination of both.

So while you peruse Prada’s list of 64 teams over the next two weeks, here’s a look at the five saddest title defenses of the last 20 years. For some teams, sadness emanates from fans who look back wondering what could have been, either thanks to a heartbreaking injury, the rapid and unexpected effect of age on a key player, or even an organization-wide arrogance that seizes everyone who just took a champagne bath.

Insecurities revolve around money and minutes. Pecking orders and hierarchical scoring options are called into question. Sometimes, for reasons that remain a mystery to this day, the team’s championship heart just stops beating, or a rival competitor simply “wants it more.” Who knows.

For the purpose of keeping this as concise as possible, no organization appears twice on this list, and anyone eliminated in the Finals or conference finals didn’t make the cut because losing that far along is less sad than never advancing there in the first place.

5) 2011 Los Angeles Lakers

Regular season record: 57-25

Key losses: Jordan Farmar

Key additions: Matt Barnes, Steve Blake

Everyone remembers how this team went out. Near the end of a blowout, Andrew Bynum was ejected for trying to murder a defenseless, airborne J.J. Barea. Anytime violence occurs on a basketball court it’s shocking; this particular incident felt more like the foreseeable release of a sharp frustration that had been bubbling for weeks.

When they dropped their very first game of the playoffs against Chris Paul’s New Orleans Hornets, Kobe Bryant didn’t mince words: “He’s not naturally aggressive,” Bryant said about Pau Gasol, who made two baskets in the whole game. “Even if I’m tired, I’m naturally aggressive.”

Then, earlier in that series against Dallas, Bynum all but confirmed LA’s locker room drama. “It’s obvious we have trust issues,” he said. “Unless we come out and discuss it, then nothing is going to really change.”

Winning one championship is hard. Winning two in a row — as these Lakers did — is a Rubik’s Cube. Three-peats are a first-class ticket to immortality. But for this particular team, one full of championship experience and Hall of Fame talent, to fall short without any tangible explanation ... it almost diminishes the impressiveness of that entire era.

I remember the end of Game 1 against Dallas, watching Bryant back rim a three at the buzzer that would’ve put the Lakers up 1-0 and thinking LA would shake off the cobwebs and win in five or maybe six. When the series ended, I kept going back to Bryant’s three that never was, how it couldn’t have missed by more than an inch, and what would’ve happened from that point on if it went in.

Several factors decide whether a talented team will surge or fizzle at various inflection points on any given playoff run. The psychological momentum held in that one fading three was immense. Had it gone in, the Mavs could have overcome its devastating toll and still won it all, but to do so before earning the collective confidence every champion must acquire would’ve been next to impossible. The Lakers were so close yet so far away.

Their collapse then led to the Dwight Howard-Steve Nash apocalypse, while simultaneously cheating us of a possible Lakers-Heat showdown in that year’s Finals. What a shame.

4) 2000 San Antonio Spurs

Regular season record: 53-29

Key losses: None

Key additions: Terry Porter

San Antonio’s first title defense ended before it began when 23-year-old Tim Duncan tore the lateral meniscus in his left knee during Game 78 of his third season. The Spurs limped into the playoffs as a 53-win, No. 4 seed, where they were swiftly handled by a Phoenix Suns team that didn’t have their own best player (Jason Kidd) for the first three games, thanks to a broken ankle.

Looking back, though, all that really matters are the circumstances that surrounded Duncan’s knee. It’s an overlooked what-if moment in NBA history, full of incredible foresight and head-shaking details that make the whole thing seem avoidable if the Spurs knew then what we know now.

On one hand, Duncan averaged 42.5 minutes in the 10 games before he was shut down, including 48 (!!) in his season finale against Sacramento — a six-point overtime win in which Duncan finished 6-for-22 from the field and was not subbed out at all in the first and third quarters. (To put this in context, Giannis Antetokounmpo has crossed the 40-minute mark twice in the last two seasons.)

On the other hand, Gregg Popovich was wise enough to put Duncan on ice. Who knows how his knee/career would’ve been affected had he played, or even if that year’s champion — the first of three straight for Kobe Bryant’s and Shaquille O’Neal’s Lakers — would’ve been too much for them to handle.

San Antonio swept LA from the playoffs the previous year. The Lakers were talented but unproven, nearly falling against Sacramento in the first round after a 67-win regular season. Eventually they needed a Trail Blazers collapse in Game 7 of the conference finals to finally break through; it’s fair to wonder how any of this would’ve gone down had the Spurs let Duncan loose.

”I don’t know if it was right or wrong,” Popovich said over a decade later. “But we did it.”

Looking back on it, the Spurs had 34-year-old David Robinson (who was still an all-star/monster) and Sean Elliot rounding into shape after a kidney transplant forced him to miss the first three quarters of the season. From there, Terry Porter, Mario Elie, and Avery Johnson (who made one three in 2,571 minutes) were on their last legs, long before Tony Parker and Manu Ginobili injected new life into the organization.

The Spurs famously never went back-to-back in the Duncan era. This was low-key their best chance to do so.

3) 2009 Boston Celtics

Regular season record: 62-20

Key losses: James Posey, P.J. Brown

Key additions: None

Kobe Bryant’s first ring without Shaquille O’Neal came on a 65-win, revenge-fueled Lakers squad that spent all season stewing over their miserable Finals experience the previous June. The wheelchair game. The 24-point comeback at Staples Center (in which Ray Allen made the biggest *layup* of his career). That listless 39-point beatdown in Game 6. In 2009 they weren’t the best Lakers team ever, but did have a healthy and mountainous 21-year-old Andrew Bynum back in the starting lineup. No team in the Western Conference stood much of a chance.

But on the other side of the bracket, the Celtics were their own machine, emboldened by a champion’s aplomb, benefit of continuity, and Rajon Rondo’s steady bloom into a stud. The Celtics started the season 27-2, including a 19-game win streak that was ended on Christmas Day by the 23-5 Lakers.

As every member of their fanbase is well aware, in Boston’s first game after the NBA All-Star Game break the 44-11 Celtics were decapitated when Kevin Garnett injured his knee trying to catch a lob against the Utah Jazz. He tested it out a few weeks later but the results were pitiful relative to Garnett’s usual standards: 9 points, 4.5 rebounds, and 16.5 minutes in four games. He wasn’t healthy enough for the playoffs.

Without the reigning Defensive Player of the Year, Boston eventually scraped past Derrick Rose’s hungry Bulls in a classic seven-game series that included five games decided by three or fewer points before they blew a 3-2 lead against the Magic. (When it became clear Garnett would miss the entire postseason, Celtics owner Wyc Grousbeck said this about the first-place Cavs: “They earned home court, they earned the best record, they are clearly a championship-quality team, and in my opinion they have the best basketball player on the planet right now: Mo Williams.”)

A series against the Cavs would’ve been a dog fight even if Garnett’s knee was 100 percent, but, as was made clear the following year, the Celtics were just about impossible to beat four times in seven tries when everybody was healthy. (Did you know their starting five never lost a playoff series? It’s true.)

This was before the three-point revolution, when physicality, size, and defense dictated wins and losses. On that end, Garnett and Boston’s defensive coordinator Tom Thibodeau owned the league with a back line overload concept that everybody else tried to copy. LeBron James was already the best player in the world, but Cleveland had yet to give him enough help.

Garnett’s knee robbed the Celtics of an epic Finals rematch. Instead, Courtney Lee missed a layup, Jameer Nelson forgot how to play transition defense, and the Lakers snuffed out Orlando in five.

One year later, Boston and LA met again, but by then the Celtics were on fumes. Garnett wasn’t the same player, and, even for a team that routinely struggled to score points throughout their time as a championship contender, the 2010 Finals were a particularly bumpy rock fight.

The Celtics emerged from the Garnett era with one ring, which is impressive by itself. But his injury in 2009 stole an opportunity everyone in Boston wished they could have back.

2) 2012 Dallas Mavericks

Regular season record: 36-30

Key losses: Peja Stojakovic, JJ Barea, Tyson Chandler, Corey Brewer, DeShawn Stevenson

Key additions: Vince Carter, Lamar Odom, Delonte West, Brandan Wright

Poor Dirk Nowitzki. It’s either recency bias or the deflating way Dallas allowed its only champion to implode overnight, but this team inspired me to write this article more than any other. The only championship team in franchise history was kind of like a sturdy Jenga tower, if that makes any sense. So long as every piece was in the right place, they had a breadth of complementary skill-sets who all belonged — an embodiment of the idea that the sum can be greater than its individual parts.

Unfortunately, six guys were free agents that offseason, and the only one Dallas retained was Brian “The Janitor” Cardinal, whose three-point percentage dropped from 48.3 to 20.4. Not great!

One particular decision still pains Mavs fans to this day. At the time, with the lockout sewing a modest amount of confusion into every team’s long-term strategy, Mark Cuban sided with long-term flexibility over the 29-year-old defensive anchor Tyson Chandler. Instead of keeping a good thing (with a narrow window of contention) going, they fell in love with the idea of pairing another free agent star with Nowitzki. One in the hand is worth two in the bush, etc.

Hindsight is 20/20, but even at the time this felt icky. Since, the Mavericks have advanced past the first round precisely zero times; in 2012 the Mavs were swept in Round 1 by Kevin Durant, Russell Westbrook, and James Harden’s Oklahoma City Thunder. It’s fair to look at the talent in Oklahoma City and say Dallas capitalized on its one and only chance, but Nowitzki, Jason Kidd, Shawn Marion, and Jason Terry deserved an opportunity to sustain their magic against LeBron James’ Heat one more time.

Chandler went on to win Defensive Player of the Year during his first season with the Knicks, and eventually came back to Dallas in 2015. By then the landscape had shifted. Golden State was starting a dynasty and Nowitzki was 36. “Obviously it would have been better if we could have kept him, right?” Cuban said at Chandler’s press conference in 2014. “But our hand was dealt with all the changes. All’s well that ends well. I think it turned out just the way we wanted, just the way I planned.”

A year later, Chandler was in Phoenix. The Mavs, having thought DeAndre Jordan was in the bag, were left in the cold once again.

1) 2007 Miami Heat

Regular season record: 44-38

Key losses: None

Key additions: None

For these Heat, “sad,” as it’s described in the introduction of this article, equals “pathetic.” This team was as mediocre as it was forgettable as it was disappointing. For just a moment, try and get past the fact they were the first defending champion in over 50 years to get swept from the first round, and instead focus on how they made zero essential changes to their championship roster during the offseason and then lost their season opener by 42 points!

Getting demolished in the playoffs was embarrassing but could at least be blamed on a regular season that was ravaged by injuries (Dwyane Wade missed 31 games and Shaquille O’Neal sat out 42). But to no-show your own ring ceremony? And only score 66 points!? Needless to say, this was officially the worst loss in league history by a defending champ on opening night.

Now, when you throw in the controversy that still surrounds Miami’s 2006 title — Oprah Winfrey might as well have stood on the baseline shouting “You get a whistle, and you get a whistle!” every time Wade drove into the paint — is there any title from the last 25 years that feels more random if that postseason were simulated 100 times? I’m not trying to disparage a championship run, but the league had no boogeyman in 2007, and the Eastern Conference was wide open once again.

In 2008, O’Neal was traded and Alonzo Mourning retired. They won 15 games and were awarded the second pick in the draft, which meant Michael Beasley instead of Derrick Rose. Eventually LeBron James saved Miami from the wilderness and forever altered how that organization is perceived. But back in 2007 they were, as Pat Riley said in early January — when he announced his own indefinite leave of absence to deal with personal health issues — ”We have a championship team that is sideways right now, so this is going to be a great challenge. Keep your notebooks open. We’ll see how it plays out.”

Narrator: It played out like a complete and total catastrophe. Some might point to the injuries and the age-related decline, but that’s kind of an excuse. This team is remembered as a defending champion that had no interest in wanting to do it all over again. That’s not what you want.