#watch on tonight's episode of Nikki Drinks

[ambivalenceshefelt]

Location: one of the sand bars Open || @aurorabaystarter

Nikki was actively aiming for a nice buzz, as she picked up the cocktail the bartender offered her and handed the other one to the person next to her. "Cheers, gorgeous!" she exclaimed, ever the hype-girl, as she brought her glass forth to clink to a toast.

[daechwitatamic]

Chapter 1: Always a Pleasure || KTH

(banner by @itaeewon)

Title: Complete Faith (Masterpost)

Pairings: Taehyung x female reader; {background SJ x OC, mentions of YG x OC, and HS x OC}

Genre: A little bit of it all - drama, angst, slow-burn romance, a dash of spice here and there

Rating: R overall

Summary: It’s Taehyung himself who admits that it’s usually around the one-month mark that he starts to lose interest in his relationships. So even though you’re so drawn to him you can barely stand it, even though he’s attentive and funny, even though you’re helplessly crazy about him… when you start dating, you feel like you’ve got an expiration date from day one. But will it be Taehyung’s issues that get in the way, or your own?

Alternate summary: coworkers to friends to lovers to idiots to lovers again

TW/CW: excessive cursing, recreational drinking and occasional overdrinking, Y/N has a parent who is a recovering addict and this factors into her narration and mindset but there are NO scenes of drug use, Y/N has some unhandled trauma because of how addiction has affected her family, every time I got close to a trope I just leaned in and had fun with it lol (yes this is a warning!), Taehyung has a parent with MS, a smattering of fandom jokes hiding in here

Notes: This fic is complete and will be updated every Friday evening (EDT timezone). A HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to @kookstempo for the amazing beta job tytytytyty!

I will never never never never never be bothered by messages or feedback for my work!

Chapter 1: Always a Pleasure

Early April

Rain hits the windows behind you gently, the sound comforting and calming. You press your hands tighter around the coffee mug clutched between them, feeling the warmth spread into your palms. You’re tempted to close your eyes and lean into the sleepy feeling. Instead, you blink hard against the tug of drowsiness and will yourself to focus on what your boss is saying from the head of the conference table.

Just in time, too.

“Y/N, what’s on the docket this week?” he asks, and you glance down at the clipboard you’re balancing on your knees.

“Four new hires for Orientation tomorrow,” you report, scanning your notes. “Doug approved six applicants for phone interviews, so we’ll see how many of those need to be scheduled for in-person later this week or early next week. We’ll have a staffing meeting on Wednesday, and payroll closes on Thursday.”

A few department heads nod, and your boss thanks you before moving on with, “Taehyung will be out today, so could you fill us in, Jimin?”

You’ve already stopped listening, going back to worshipping your coffee, mentally planning your afternoon. You’d saved a few episodes of garbage tv for tonight and figured you might as well make a whole Thing tonight, just because – a bubble bath and some wine, your trashy television shows, maybe an at-home pedicure?

“Y/N?”

You look back up, eyebrows raised. People were beginning to stand, meaning you’d zoned right out of the meeting being adjourned.

Jimin stands before you, smiling in a friendly way. “You coming?” he asks.

“Yes,” you tell him as you stand. “How was your weekend?”

You start walking out of the conference room together to the small wing which holds your tiny office and two or three others. This is normal – you usually chat in your office after the morning meeting, joined by Nikki and/or Yoongi, and occasionally the currently absent Taehyung.

“Too short,” he laughs. “Hey, these were in my mailbox.” He passes you a few loose timecards that you’d need to input. “I also wanted to see if you watched the new -.”

“I have not,” you interrupt frantically, “so do not say anything! I avoided the group chat all weekend for a reason!”

Jimin grins. “I figured you were just busy. You have to catch up, it’s wild!”

“Planning on it as soon as I get home,” you promise, sliding into your chair and putting the timecards on your keyboard so you won’t forget them. Behind Jimin, Yoongi sticks his head around the doorframe.

“She didn’t watch it?” he asks Jimin, who shakes his head.

“You both need to get outside more,” you deadpan.

“Don’t turn this around on us,” Yoongi retorts. “You get a twenty-four-hour grace period and then if you get spoiled, it’s on you.”

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “I’m watching it tonight. Calm down.”

Jimin eyes the clock on your wall, probably deciding how much more time he can kill before he needs to show face in his own wing. “Do we have a lunch plan?”

“It’s 8:45 in the morning,” you point out.

“I have a call over lunch,” Yoongi says. “And Tae isn’t here today. You two are on your own.”

“I brought mine,” you say, pointing with your elbow at the lunch bag you tossed next to the bookshelf behind your desk.

“Boo,” Jimin grouses.

“Where is Taehyung today?” you ask absently, only half-listening as your phone buzzes in your pocket. Taehyung is more Jimin’s friend than yours, and with his department on a different floor you really don’t talk much.

“His mom is sick again, he had to take her to the neurologist-.” You aren’t listening, even though you asked the question to begin with. You pull your phone out, hoping it will be your boyfriend, but your screen says Mom. You slide your phone back into your pocket. You have no idea what Jimin’s answer about Taehyung was.

When the guys have left to go actually do their jobs, you pull your phone back out.

[8:50 am] Mom: can u drop off Sierra at violin

[8:51 am] Mom: at 5:30

You set your phone down on the desk harder than you mean to and let out a huff of frustration.

[9:02 am] You: bring her here after school and I can

Your mother never answers, but at a little before four o’clock you are greeted by a stampede of little feet as your nine-year-old sister barrels around your desk and throws her arms around you.

“Hi, Tiny,” you tell her, smiling.

“I’m not tiny,” she scowls, but this is all rehearsed.

You glance at the time. “I can’t leave for about an hour,” you tell her. “You have to be good until it’s time to go, okay?”

She hums, barely listening, dropping her bookbag at your feet. You look her over quickly – her hair is tidy and her clothes look clean except for holes over her left knee, which look fresh and dirty.

“Did you fall today?” you ask her, nodding at it.

“Mhm,” she says, looking out your window at the parking lot. “At gym.”

You nod silently. You haven’t been to your mother’s house in about a week, but Sierra seems like she’s doing fine. You eye your computer screen quickly – four new emails – and then the clock again.

“Sierra,” you say, and she turns. “Want a snack? And then I’ll set you up to work on your homework?”

She groans at this last part, but she wants the snack. You walk together back towards the kitchen. She’s come to your job after school enough times that she knows the way.

“Is that Sierra?” Yoongi calls as you pass his office.

“Hi, Mr. Min!” she cries, hurrying into his office. “Y/N is getting me a snack so I can do my homework.”

You and Yoongi lock eyes over the top of her head and you make a yes this shit again face. Yoongi’s been around long enough to witness your occasional stints at parenting when your mom passes you the reins.

Bless him, he stands and comes around his desk, leading the two of you back towards the kitchen. Sierra stands obediently at your side, as is the Kitchen Rule, since there are meat slicing machines and knives and lit stovetops and all sorts of shit you don’t need her getting into.

“Peanut butter and jelly?” Yoongi asks her, and you feel a wave of appreciation for him.

“That’s perfect,” you answer for her. “I have some chips in my office.”

Once she’s settled with her snack and her open notebook on the other side of your desk, you get back to work.

[5:33 pm] You: are you picking Sierra up from violin or do I need to stay

[5:40 pm] You: Mom???

[5:45 pm] You: …..cool…. guess I’ll stay…

There goes your plan for the evening, you think. You wait for Sierra’s lesson to end from the car – the screeches are unearthly, and you don’t need a headache tonight. While you wait, you try texting your boyfriend, who you haven’t heard from since sometime on Saturday.

[5:48 pm] You: hey babe

[5:50 pm] You: just wanted to say hi. I’ve got Sierra right now… gonna take her home in 10 but I might end up on dinner duty too… we’ll see

[5:53 pm} You: call me later if you can

You drive Sierra back to your mother’s house, your childhood home. As expected, the windows are dark.

You let yourself in with the key you keep and direct your sister to go upstairs and take a quick shower while you heat something up for her dinner. Hours later - after you’ve helped her pack her backpack and pick out her clothes for morning, brushed and braided her hair, and tucked her in bed - you check your phone to find five missed texts.

[8:04 pm] Ben: hey

[8:05 pm] Ben: sorry

[8:07 pm] Ben: caught up at work, I’ll call later

-

[8:32 pm] Nikki: hi cutie how was spa night?

-

[8:47 pm} Jimin: DID YOU WATCH???????

You smile, delighted to hear from Ben, finally. You answer your best friend first –

[8:51 pm] You: giiiiiiirl my day was highjacked by my mother. I might need a big favor

Then Jimin –

[8:52 pm] You: NO I DID NOT…. Long story, I haven’t even made it home yet. Maybe tmrw

And best for last, Ben –

[8:59 pm] You: okay. Love u.

You’re about to text Nikki and ask her to come stay at the house and keep an eye on Sierra while you run home for a change of clothes when you hear the front door open.

“Hi,” your mother says breathlessly, as she shuts the front door behind her. “Sorry – my phone died and my charger is here.”

You say nothing, just standing and starting to collect your stuff, hunting for where you left your keys.

She tries again. “Y/N, I’m sorry. Things happen. Thank you for taking her.”

You press your lips into a thin line and take a slow breath. “You’re welcome,” you say finally, voice flat. “Her homework’s done, backpack’s ready, she ate and showered. I put her to bed a few minutes ago, she might still be awake.”

“Okay,” your mother says softly. “Thank you.”

You nod, moving to slip your shoes back on.

“I didn’t mean to make you worry,” she tries again.

“I wasn’t worried,” you lie, and put your hand on the doorknob.

“You know,” she says suddenly, and you close your eyes, bracing yourself for the bullshit, “it’d be nice if you didn’t expect the worst from me all the time.”

Count to ten. Count to fifteen. Count to thirty if you need to.

“I don’t expect the worst from you,” you say finally. “I don’t expect anything from you.” You pull open the door and step outside, then turn back. “I don’t think it’s unreasonable for me to be concerned when I don’t hear from you for almost twelve hours. I didn’t know if I’d need to stay the night here or if I could go home. That doesn’t make me the bad guy.”

“No,” she agrees. “That would be me. Right?”

You shake your head in frustration, heading to your car. “Tell Sierra I said goodnight,” you throw over your shoulder, and let yourself into the car.

Before you go to bed, you open the text conversation with Ben again, looking at the “love u” you sent, and the empty space below it where a response should have been.

“You can’t say I need a huge favor and then ghost, Y/N,” Nikki scolds you the next morning. She’s in the chair across from your desk, where yesterday your little sister sat to work on homework.

“I didn’t,” you point out. “I said I might need a big favor. And then I didn’t need the favor anymore.”

She pulls a face at you. Unlike Jimin and Yoongi, Nikki is your best friend at work and outside of work.

“Spill,” she demands. Behind her, Jimin leans against the doorjamb, partly listening to you girls, but mostly listening to Yoongi’s conversation further down the hallway.

“I couldn’t find my mom,” you told her, lowering your voice a little. “I was going to ask you to stay with Sierra while I ran home to get some stuff for overnight, clothes for morning, that kind of shit. But she showed up.”

“Hmm,” Nikki says, which translates to I am holding back my real thoughts right now for the sake of propriety.

“I know,” you tell her. “Hmm is correct and I agree. Now if I could find my missing boyfriend, everyone would be accounted for.”

This makes her sit up and lean forward in her chair, her voice lowering to almost a whisper. A raged whisper. Nikki’s opinion of Ben – at least lately – is no secret between you. “Are you fucking kidding me, Y/N?’

“I wish I was kidding,” you say. You mean to be flippant, but your voice tightens, and she notices, her eyes narrowing protectively.

“When’s the last time you heard from him?” she asks.

“He texted last night promising to call.”

“He didn’t call,” she says flatly, sure of it.

“He didn’t call,” you agree, worrying your bottom lip with your teeth. “Work thing, he claims.”

“And before yesterday?” she demands.

You regret bringing it up. You wanted to vent about his disappearing act, but now that you have to say each part out loud you feel… ashamed. And you really, really don’t want to examine the reasons for that.

“We texted a little on Saturday,” you mumble, picking up your coffee mug as if you could hide behind it.

Nikki just looks at you, lips pursed.

“You need a new man, like, yesterday,” Jimin adds his input, even though he only knows about 20% of the story.

At that exact moment, Taehyung comes around from behind Jimin, shooting you and Nikki a friendly, boxy smile. He throws his arm casually over Jimin’s shoulders. You know the two of them go way back to high school.

“Morning!” he chirps. “Just who I was looking for!”

“Me?” Nikki asks, “Or Y/N?”

“You,” he tells her, but shoots you a sideways glance that seems almost conspiratorial. “Though it’s always a delight to see Y/N.”

You roll your eyes playfully. “Flattery gets you nowhere, Mr. Kim.”

“Not true,” he tells you, mock gravely, then turns back to Nikki. “I had a question about Friday.”

“Oh yeah!” she sits up, snapping her fingers. “Y/N, I forgot to tell you! We’re doing Jin’s birthday Friday after work. Can you come?”

“Let me check.”

“I wanted to know if I could bring a friend,” Taehyung says to her, as you pull up your calendar on your phone to check your availability. “I was supposed to grab a drink with a friend from college, but if he can just come out with us…”

“Of course,” Nikki tells him easily. “The more the merrier.”

“I should be able to go,” you say. “I assume we’re meeting at the restaurant?”

Nikki’s longtime boyfriend Seokjin – who is not in the doghouse, unlike your man – is the head chef at a restaurant downtown. He is also close friends with the owner, which means he gets away with occasionally letting his crew hang around on the weekends as long as food and drinks are being ordered.

“Yeah,” Nikki says breezily as Taehyung waves a quick goodbye and heads back down the hall, typing away on his phone. Jimin follows, leaving you and Nikki alone. You look at each other in silence across the expanse of your cluttered desk.

“Don’t say it,” you say, sighing.

“I don’t think I need to,” she tells you, grimacing. “You’re a smart girl. You know everything I’m going to say.”

You don’t answer this – you don’t feel like defending yourself right now. You begin typing the response to an email, and when you look back up after hitting send Nikki is gone.

You sit in traffic, the cars bumper to bumper at yet another red light, planning your evening. You run through take-out options in your head as the cars start to move again.

The universe must really not want you to watch tv, you think as you unlock your apartment door, because your plans get thwarted for the second night in the row.

Your boyfriend waits for you in the kitchen, a vase of flowers on the island.

“Hi,” he says sheepishly, and you feel yourself melt a little.

“Who’s this in my house?” you joke, putting down your laptop case and kicking off your heels by the front door. “A stranger? Should I call the police?”

“Ha,” he says sarcastically, moving forward to pull you into a hug. You rest your face against his chest and breathe him in.

“Where have you been?” you murmur, not looking up.

His arms tighten around you for just a second. “I told you,” he says, a twinge defensively, “I got so busy with work.”

“Hm,” you reply, channeling Nikki, and he pulls back to look down at you.

“Don’t hm at me,” he pouts. “I’m here now, aren’t I? I missed you. I thought we could order something and have a little date night.”

A little date night in my apartment. Cool. You make an effort not to let the sass show on your face. He’s trying.

“Okay,” you tell him, smiling a little. “Let me go get out of my work clothes and we can pick what to order for dinner?”

He smiles back, a glint in his eyes. “Want some help with that?”

Not really, you think, but that’s the sass talking again.

“I think you need to earn that,” you tease. He makes a what do you think this is? face and waves a hand at the flowers on the table.

The moment freezes and stretches and you know unequivocally that this can go one of two ways – either you let it go and let him off the hook and move on completely, or it will absolutely turn into a blow-out fight.

Maybe you need the fight, maybe he deserves the fight, but you just don’t have the fucking energy for it tonight. If you even hint at, ‘showing up after three days of near-silence with a bouquet of grocery store flowers is not earning it’, the whole night will be shouting and slamming doors and crying and you just… don’t have the oomph left in you today. This choice means your feelings are still hurt and no one knows about it but you, but it also means no shouting, crying, slamming doors, or worse… breaking up.

You shower alone while Ben orders delivery. You stand beneath the stream of water and lift your face, holding your breath as long as you can and then letting it out slowly, blowing water away from your lips. Your nudge the handle to warm the water a little. You like your showers hot, like the water can slough off a layer of skin, of exhaustion, of stress, of worry if you get it just hot enough. Today, the hot water picks up all the anger and hurt you’ve been feeling over Ben and carries them along with your shampoo down the drain. By the time you step out and wrap up in a fluffy towel, you’re feeling just… happy to see him. Happy to not be lonely, at least for tonight.

Things had been really good between you and Ben for a long time – years, in fact. Last fall he’d taken a new job in a city three hours away, and you’d agreed to feel it out for a while. Moving away was a non-negotiable right now for you – you couldn’t even think about what would happen with Sierra if you weren’t in the picture. Ben understood. But he was really into his career, and the new job was a huge step up the ladder in his mind. You’d cried as you tried to work the logistics out, and in the end you’d decided to try the distance thing. It hadn’t been so bad at first – a lot more phone sex and flirty texting and a lot less going on dates or finding fun shit to do around the city, but still manageable.

But sometime around the winter holidays, Ben had started getting busier, or so he said. His calls stopped being daily, then trickled down to twice a week at best. The texting got more sporadic too. You’d fought about it plenty – you asserting that surely in the span of 72 hours he could type a “hey baby” without it ruining his life. You’d hit a breaking point, fight, consider breaking it off… and then he’d visit, and you’d fall right into place with each other like nothing had ever been wrong. You knew the cycle. You recognized the stages. You just couldn’t seem to stop the ride.

Later, as you rub your chilly toes along his shins and snuggle against his ribs, you ask him sleepily, “Will you come out with me on Friday? Jin’s birthday at the restaurant.”

He leans down to kiss your forehead lazily, and you close your eyes and imagine that you might, right this second, feel happy. “Yeah,” he tells you. “I’ll be there.”

“Pinky promise?”

He rolls his eyes with a laugh, pushing his dark hair away from his forehead. “If that’s what it takes for you to believe me, okay.”

“I missed you,” you whisper, eyes closed. You just mean to be affectionate, to share the sentiment. Instead of I missed you too – which is all you fucking want – you feel Ben tense up.

“That wasn’t a dig,” you say quickly. “I just… meant it.”

He nods, but doesn’t relax. “I don’t want to fight,” he says finally.

“Who’s fighting?” you tease. “You’re the one getting all weird. Sorry I told you I missed you, what a very horrible thing for me to say.” Your voice drips with sarcasm.

“Alright, Sassy Pants, that’s enough,” he admonishes, but the tension breaks and the moment passes. The potential for a blow-out ebbs away again, skulking into the shadows, still waiting for a chance to strike.

“Are you going to work tomorrow?” you ask him. He usually doesn’t visit on worknights, since his commute back will be over three hours with morning commuter traffic in the mix.

He hums affirmatively. “Yep, but my first meeting isn’t until 10, so as long as I’m out of here by 6:15 I should be okay.”

“Gotta leave time for a bagel stop,” you say sagely.

“Exactly,” he smiles at you.

You’re quiet for a few minutes, and then you check the time. “I need to call Sierra,” you say, reaching over him for your phone, which waits on the nightstand.

Your mother picks up on the third ring, and you feel immediate relief that she’s home where she belongs. “Hi Mom,” you say. “I was calling to tell Tiny goodnight before she goes to bed.”

Your mom doesn’t respond – she must still be pissed off at the attitude you gave her last night, which… okay, fair – and a minute later your sister’s little voice says, “Hello?”

“Goodnight, Booger Face.”

Sierra splutters with both indignation and laughter. “Y/N! You are the worst!”

“How was your day, Tiny?” you ask. Next to you, Ben starts scrolling through his phone. You try not to look, try not to clock how many girls’ selfies he scrolls past on his insta feed.

“Fine,” she says. “I got an A on my math test.”

“Good job! Must have been all that homework we did yesterday.”

She laughs again. “We worked on vocabulary yesterday, not math!”

After a few more minutes of chatting and wishing her goodnight, you turn back to Ben, but he’s deep in whatever he’s reading on his screen.

As you lay there, deciding what to do next – tv or just dick around on your phone for a while – he clicks off his screen and glances over at you. “That was fast,” he observes.

“Mother of the Year had nothing to say to me tonight,” you explain. “She’s still mad at me for yesterday.” Belatedly you realize that Ben has no idea what happened the night before. When he looks at you for an explanation, you tell him, “She pulled a disappearing act after having me take Tiny to violin. Radio silence until she showed back up around 9. I didn’t know if she would even come home. I…. might have gotten a little mouthy.”

He shakes his head. “She doesn’t have to tell you where she is all the time,” he rationalizes.

“She does when I am transporting and feeding and caring for her kid!” you retort. “Why are you taking her side?”

“Why are there sides?” he asks, and your temper flares. When you don’t answer this, he adds, “I really don’t love how you talk to her sometimes. I know you two have your issues, and she does impose on you – I’m not contesting that – but she’s still your parent.”

You sit up, grabbing your phone, and pulling on a hoodie that had been crumpled on your floor. “I am supremely uninterested in your opinion on this.”

He looks at you blankly. “Don’t you think that’s a little rude? All I said is that I get uncomfortable sometimes with -.”

“It isn’t your business,” you hiss, close to losing it. Furious tears start to build and you honestly want to throw something. “I mean it, Ben. I don’t want to talk about this with you. You aren’t a member of this family, you have no idea what I’ve been through because of her. You don’t get an opinion.”

“You’re overreacting,” he tells you, and you honestly think you see red for a hot second. “You need to calm down.”

“Calm down?” you repeat, the least calm you’ve ever felt in your whole damn life, your voice scary even to your own ears. “You ignore me for days, show up when you want some ass, think your grocery store carnations make it all better, and then get on my case about my family’s business? Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” he counters, angry for the first time, standing, towering before you. “Since when do you talk to me like this? You need help or something, Y/N, like therapy or some shit. You are spiraling and it’s honestly really hard to watch.”

“Fuck you,” you tell him, the tears finally breaking free. “Maybe I am, maybe I’m having a hard fucking time, but where have you b-b-been? For the last three months, where have you been? I hear from you once or twice a week and that’s supposed to just be okay? We’ve been together a long time, Ben, we love each other. You’re supposed to support me, you’re supposed to fucking take care of me.”

The words are wrung from you, pulled from somewhere deep, hissed out through shuttering stops and starts as you try unsuccessfully to breathe and cry and talk. He holds out his hands placatingly, this last sobbed sentence striking a chord within him. “Y/N, calm down, breathe.”

You can’t. You’re sobbing so hard you’re hyperventilating, and you are dimly aware that it’s only like 75% about him to begin with.

“I – I want you to g-g-go,” you manage.

“I will if that’s what you want,” he says quietly, still holding his hands out like he’s dealing with a spooked horse. “But I’m kind of scared to leave you here alone.”

“You don’t get to be worried about me,” you tell him, finding your voice again. “You should have been worried about me months ago.”

“Y/N,” he says again, voice soothing now. “It’s a three-hour drive. I’m sorry you’re so upset.” This is not an apology.

He steps forward, uneasily, not sure if you will go absolutely apeshit if he tries to hug you. You let him wrap his arms around you, but you stand stiff and furious, blinking away fresh tears.

“You’re right,” he whispers. “Your relationship with your mom isn’t my business. I didn’t know I’d make you so mad. I wasn’t trying to make you mad.”

Eventually, you sag into the hug a little, and he takes this as a sign of forgiveness. You don’t talk as you get ready for bed. When his alarm goes off at 5:30 and he starts getting dressed in the dark, you pretend to be asleep. You don’t tell him goodbye when he leaves. You stare at the wall, watching the dark shadows turn slowly bluer and bluer as the sun rises outside your windows, feeling utterly hollow.

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[nochiquinn]

campaign 2 episode 97:

I am practicing optimism and opening a liveblog notepad doc for tonight

I WANT TO WATCH PLS LET ME BE ABLE TO WATCH

(reasons for me not to be able to watch: audio processing, the whole crew being Extra bc they’re actors on a stage with instant gratification, A/V issues, the audience being Extra bc they’re in a crowd (tho they’ve been better about that lately). all the same reasons I have trouble listening to live music!)

hour and a half I waited, and kiddo picked the instant the show started to come out with an earache

(she’s fine)

crowd member so help me god

“I assumed you meant drinking”

oh I knew they were gonna do this

STOP YELLING

sigh

can I watch now, child

“never had three thousand people shout that at you before”

faux-scraggly clothes

you know I know it’s probably affectionate but laughing at orly’s stammer

is hmmmmm. hm.

“tusktooth.” “HE LIVES.”

caleb’s just gonna burn the ship down

li am

don’t encourage this

has travis ever gotten those right the first time

ickythot

the immediate “fuck you” vibe out of the crowd

“it’s been - ” “DON’T”

I was trying to think what the exandrian version of france is and my brain went “orlais! no wait fuck”

keldeo

“you both find the butt”

please, PLEASE let me see jester at a formal event

gross

ball[train noises]“

the way travis’ head SNAPPED up

"2013. much better year.” I was pregnant and the size of a boat this time 2013 so to each their own

cad’s looking for tail

this is random but I do not envy taliesin trying to wash his hair tonight

I love caduceus

tal’s face

liam :(

hey matt turn on your location

artagan get off the stream

liam :(

jes

THANK you beau

jester

“I THOUGHT OF A REALLY GOOD IDEA” “oh no”

I LOVE IT

adhd queen

I need whoever that is to stop playing hackeysack with top camera

“give us the opportunity to -” “kill him. what?”

yasha has a murder hammer and every problem is a murder nail

no fuck now bottom camera is doing it

jester you fucking adorable skdjfls

glitter titty shake

fallout 4 survival mode where you take damage from carrying too much

y'all that’s gay

nott :(

weH

cool aunt jester

just lead with that

marion

do you have a spare bathtub you don’t mind losing

so I started snapping my fingers instead of laughing so I won’t wake up the whole house and the point is my hand hurts

beau you’re saying the quiet part loud

“if anything she’s a god” “that’s my girl!” I love them

jester are you about to regret a question

“that’s just my go-to, I don’t know”

fuck yeah marion!

I love her and am proud of her

my boyfriend came out but I can’t yell spoilers at him bc he’s actually dealing with something

jes;sldfs

“you’re sure you’re ready?” “no, but I’m gonna do it anyway”

this is why they’re all wearing glitter, so no one can tell if they’re crying

is that glitter or tears? you don’t know.

like six minutes ago they were convincing jester’s mom they weren’t having an orgy in her bathroom, what happened

live art change!!

VOICE

SAM

“clay in my throat” [lenny]

weH

they’re not allowed to cry or I’m gonna cry

yeza valid

gigabrain: essek won’t recognize veth, have her try to make him break character at the party

Art Reel 2: Return of the Art Reel

it’s bees

nott is not nott

beau why are you pushing the kink thing sjsdf

“protection from…?” “death” aren’t we all

“we all die eventually” “yeah but I don’t want it to be TOMORROW”

“buy me a lady gaga meat dress or do not come home”

“those are beautiful” “I mean you are too” “oh, jESUS”

fanartists and cosplayers frantically taking notes

“I’m gonna have to buy her this for Christmas now, you realize”

jester playing love nikki

they are dressed for a formal occasion, let’s not get ahead of ourselves

y'all I’m just picturing Lust from FMA

which is hilarious for a couple of reasons

yasha “do I need to kill him” nydoorin

yasha “I’m gonna kill him” nydoorin

[tiktok voice] I’m dumb she’s a lesbian

jester lavorre fears no bitch

POETIC CINEMA

“it’s locked forever” “or until you use the dagger again” it’s locked forever

“sounds like meth”

so it’s meth

“he’s tucking” sdjfsl

this is - I reiterate - just the winter palace

haha get rekt

caleb’s gonna kill that guy

essek is chaotic dumb I love him

jester: I will make you break character AND hype my mom at the same time

DO NOT ROOFIE THE WIZARD

VETH

matt face

essek is t-posing

matt stop giving them things

travis

jester: I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS for once

beau: goddammit I’m gay

wait is this just paranatural now

“I assumed you could hold your shit”

travis doing sombra checks

“oh, shit, she’s high again”

these fucking disasters

no you have to go back to marion!!

caleb :(

“if he says it out loud he’s gonna have to hear it, and he’s not gonna like who he is when he hears it”

“had to be me, someone else might have gotten it wrong”

look I try not to be this person but KISS THE WIZARD

“leave it better than it was before” cries

“you can certainly try” ashlEY

“that guy’s a fuckhole”

“my intentions were never good. they were important”

“you’re gonna have to make a lot of babies”

“I should surround myself with friends, to protect me” wEH

“welcome to the mighty nein”

[mxliv-oftheendless]

“Can we make cake? I like cake.” Heather & Mick? Lol. Bonding with lil' Ayesha between them with cake? 🍰🍰🍰

So this started out light and happy, then got a little angsty. But I like what I came up with, so I hope you like it too! This is set in a modern AU again, because that’s the idea I had. Put under a cut because this turned from a drabble into a full-length oneshot—in other words, another day in the life of me lol. Enjoy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It wasn’t too bad an atmosphere; Heather sat on one end of her couch reading a book, while Ayesha sat on the other side, leaning against the armrest and watching an episode of DuckTales, occasionally giggling at what was happening. Heather had to crack a smile whenever she heard it. She’d agreed to watch Ayesha while Demon and Vinneketh had a much-needed Date Night. 

Had she said yes rather quickly when Vinneketh called and asked? Maybe…

Okay, yes, she had. The past couple weeks hadn’t been good mental health-wise, and she knew from experience that the last thing she needed to do was be alone. So even if it was just babysitting her little niece while her dads no doubt screwed each others’ brains out, at least she wasn’t by herself. She needed distractions. 

But it seemed the universe was not on her side tonight, because she gazed uncomprehendingly at the page of her book, eyes going over the words for the third time in a row. She sighed quietly. Was it too much to ask to not feel bored and useless for once? 

“Auntie Heather,” Ayesha suddenly turned from the TV to her. 

Grateful for the distraction, Heather looked up from her book. “Yeah, sweetie?” 

Ayesha kicked her feet. “I’m bored… Can we make something?” 

“You mean like bake something?” Ayesha smiled and nodded her head. After a moment, Heather smiled slightly and set aside her book to stand. “Okay, sure. Let’s go see what I’ve got.” 

Ayesha jumped off the couch and eagerly ran to the kitchen, while Heather walked behind her with a smile. As bad as she’d been feeling lately, she couldn’t not smile around her niece. 

When she entered the kitchen, Ayesha was looking in her cabinets for something to make. Heather tried to remember whether she had anything; she used to have brownie mix, but she was pretty sure she’d used it…

“Find anything?” she asked. 

At that moment, Ayesha opened another cabinet and grinned excitedly, then reached inside. She pulled out a small box and proudly showed it to Heather. It was a box of strawberry cake mix. 

“Can we make cake?” Ayesha asked. “I like cake!” 

Heather smiled. “Sure. Let me see that.” She took the box from her niece and looked on the back to see what they would need. She had canola oil, her measuring cups were clean… did she have eggs? 

She went to her fridge and opened it to look inside. No eggs. Frowning, she turned to Ayesha apologetically. “I’m sorry, sweetie, I don’t have any eggs.” 

Ayesha deflated. “Aww…” 

Heather suddenly didn’t want to go back to reading her book. “Maybe we can ask Mick if he has any eggs,” she offered. 

Thankfully, Ayesha perked up at that. “Can we?” she asked hopefully. 

“Yeah, we can. Let’s go.” 

They left her kitchen and went out of her apartment into the hallway, Ayesha happily skipping along beside her. Heather was pretty sure she knew why; Ayesha was perhaps the one person besides Vince, Nikki, and Tommy that actually liked Mick. And besides Heather herself, of course. 

Mick, actually, had been the person whose door Heather had been knocking on the most lately. A part of her felt bad she wasn’t going to Starchild, because she knew Starchild would drop everything if he knew she was having a horrible day. But then again, it was also for that reason that she didn’t go to him; he had his own things to deal with, and she didn’t want to turn her best friend into her therapist, and also because, although she loved him platonically, he just didn’t get it. But Mick got it; he knew what it was like to be in constant pain, whether that be physical or mental. And he was always ready with a drink if Heather needed one. 

The two of them went across the hall to Mick’s apartment and knocked. There was a short pause, then Mick opened the door slightly and peered out. He opened the door all the way when he saw it was Heather. “What’s the problem?” 

Heather was about to respond when Ayesha did it for her. “Hi, Uncle Mick!” she chirped. 

Mick looked down, and smiled slightly when he saw Ayesha. “Hey there, kiddo. How’s it goin?” 

“Aiutu and Baba are spending time together,” 

“I’m watching her for the night,” Heather clarified. 

“Oh. So, what’s up?” 

“Do you have any eggs? Preferably three?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“We’re making cake, Uncle Mick!” Ayesha happily explained. “But we don’t have any eggs.” 

Mick nodded solemnly. “I see. Hang on a second.” He turned and disappeared into his apartment, and Heather heard the sound of him rifling through his kitchen. He came back a few moments later with three eggs in a plastic bag and gave it to Heather. “Here ya go.” 

Heather smiled. “Thanks. We’ll bring you a piece when we’re done if you want.” 

“Sure. Been a while since I had cake.” 

They were at her door when Mick called behind them. “Hey,” 

Heather turned to find him leaning against his doorframe. “You, ah… need any help?” he asked, a bit awkwardly. 

Heather raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. But she looked down at Ayesha all the same. “What do you think, sweetie? Should we let him help?” 

Ayesha nodded excitedly. “Yeah!” She ran over to Mick and grabbed his hand to pull him back over to Heather. “Come on, Uncle Mick!” 

And that was how Heather ended up in her kitchen with her little niece and her grumpy guitarist neighbor, keeping watch so they didn’t try to dip fingers into the cake batter. 

“Ayesha, no,” she tried to scold, but Ayesha was already licking the batter on her finger. “Don’t do that.” 

“But it’s good, Auntie Heather!” Ayesha protested. 

“You’ll get sick, and your dads will—hey!” 

While she was distracted, Mick had swooped in and dipped his own finger in the cake batter. Heather gave him a disapproving look. “You too?” 

Mick shrugged. “Hey, it’s good,” 

“Told you!” 

Heather sighed. “Fine. I was going to be the responsible adult here, but you know what?” She dipped a finger of her own in the cake batter and tasted it. It was good; really good. 

Mick smirked at Ayesha triumphantly. “We got her, kiddo,” 

Heather rolled her eyes as Ayesha giggled. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’ll go put this in the oven. You two go wait in the living room.” 

She had closed the oven, set the timer, and was about to join the two in the living room when she suddenly heard Ayesha’s voice. “Uncle Mick?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Is Auntie Heather okay?” 

Heather froze. There was a moment where Mick didn’t speak, then she heard him reply. “Sure she is. But you don’t have to worry about her.” 

“But she looks sad, Uncle Mick,” 

“Like I said, kiddo, you don’t have to worry about her. She’ll be okay.” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Positive,” 

“… Okay,” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The trio played UNO while they waited for the cake to bake, then sat around Heather’s table eating pieces. Heather smiled, laughed, ate her cake, and tried to forget about what she had heard. But no matter how much she tried, she couldn’t. 

Your own niece can see something’s wrong with you, and she’s a child. How pathetic is that? 

Mick left after a while, and a couple hours later Ayesha fell asleep on Heather’s couch, her sugar crash helping her get tired enough to sleep. Demon and Vinneketh came to pick up their daughter around midnight, leaving with a few pieces of cake, and Heather was once again left alone. And once again, she found herself walking across the hall and knocking on Mick’s door. Mick, thankfully still awake, wordlessly let her inside. 

“I heard what Ayesha said earlier,” she said once she’d sat down on his couch. “Could she really tell? Is it that obvious?” 

Mick sat down in his armchair across from her and put his feet up on the coffee table, crossing his arms. “She could tell something was up. But that’s it. She wouldn’t know you’ve got depression, she’s just a kid.” 

“I know, but…” Heather sighed. “The fact that she could still tell something was wrong… What does that mean? Is that bad?” 

“It’s not bad,” Mick replied bluntly. “All it means is that Ayesha’s a perceptive kid. But her brain’s not gonna automatically know what’s going on. And she’s probably not even going to think about it anymore.” 

Heather thought about what he said. He was right. She sighed heavily again and ran a hand through her hair. “I guess you’re right… why am I even worrying about this? I just… I don’t want to… give her what I have somehow…” 

Mick shrugged. “Seems pretty fuckin normal to me, what you’re thinking. And I think if she did know the truth, she wouldn’t give two shits. She loves you.” 

Heather cracked a smile at that. “She does… She likes you too.” 

“Exactly. And fuck if I know how, but hey.” 

Heather scoffed at him. “You’re not so bad. You’re a grumpy old ass, but you can be pretty nice when you’re not sassing people.” 

“Pretty sure sassing people is the reason we’re friends, McMann,” 

Smiling, Heather looked up at him. “And I wouldn’t trade that for anything, Massacre. I’m glad we’re friends.” 

Mick smirked back at her, but it looked more like a genuine smile. “Same here… Nice to have a friend that actually drinks quality booze.” 

Heather laughed, then stood back up. “I think I’ll go have another piece of that cake.” 

“You should be sleeping,” 

“Says the nocturnal animal.” 

“Touche,” 

Mick walked her to the door, then watched as she walked back across the hall to her apartment. She smiled at him. “Thanks for the talk. You know I’m here if you ever need to talk, right?” 

“Yeah, I got that. Night.” 

“Goodnight,” 

And with that, Heather closed her door and went to go get another piece of cake. It actually tasted better this time around. 

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

I heard you were looking for some fic prompts and uhh maybe an alternative ending where Avery doesn’t show up and pat asks pen to dance with him

Thanks for this prompt, anon! It took 3 viewings of the new season and 4 days for me to process my feelings about it before I could write my first S3 fic, but this turned out really fun. 

Penelope x Schneider, One Day At A Time. Also on AO3.

[italicized portion taken directly from the scene in episode 3.13]

Penelope waved Schneider over to her table, aiming a sad face at him that didn’t quite reach the level of his. “Are you okay?”

He hunched over the table a little. “Oh, no, I’m all kinds of messed up. You?”

“Seeing that father-daughter dance really made me happy, but if one more person tells me, ‘You’ll find someone,’ I’m setting off the sprinklers, and we’re gonna see who has extensions real quick.”

Nudging Schneider with her elbow got him to laugh a little, and she was still smiling as his faded.

He sighed. “I can’t get over Avery. I had a magical angel woman who wanted a future with me, and I screwed it up.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

“I’m sorry. A wedding probably isn’t the best place for me right now.”

“Well, I’m glad you came. Otherwise, I’d be the only single loser here, so…”

Penelope sipped her drink and offered Schneider her most winning smile, still hoping she could draw him out of his funk. “So, the supermodel. Not even a little spark?”

“No.” He hung his head. “I think I’m over meaningless attraction, Pen. After Avery…I don’t know, what if she was my best chance at a real future with someone?”

“She’s the first person you’ve tried to have an actual relationship with,” Penelope pointed out. “It’s a little soon to decide it’s all over for you.”

She glanced at the dance floor, where the Chicken Dance seemed like it might never end. “But the part where you want more than just a fling? That could be a good thing, Schneider. It’s about time you opened yourself up to dating like an adult–I would hate to see you throw that progress away just because you’re hurting.”

Schneider sighed again. “Eh, well. Enough about me. You’re at Victor’s wedding, that’s gotta be weird.”

“You are not wrong.” Penelope couldn’t help but laugh when she caught her mother stealing the dance floor with her flapping arms, Dr. B flapping along from a distance.

“Then again,” she added, “what isn’t weird lately?”

“Good point.”

The manic music finally died down, gliding into a slow song as couples pulled each other close. Her Mami found a stray man to pair off with, leaving Dr. Berkowitz standing alone before other dancers blocked them from Penelope’s view.

“I am happy for Victor,” she assured Schneider, her smile fading. “But of all the times not to have a date…”

“I hear ya. Sorry about Mateo, by the way. With everything, I don’t think I said that yet.”

“It’s fine.” Penelope shrugged. “He deserved somebody who was a really good fit.”

“So do you.”

Schneider smiled at her. “And in the meantime, how about this wedding’s two single losers cut a rug?”

“Huh?” .

“We shouldn’t be stuck moping here all night.” He stood, reaching for her hand. “Let’s dance, Pen.”

His grin caught her off guard. Rapidly shifting moods worried her these days just as much as seeing Schneider in a funk. His relapse had shaken their friendship, and they were still slowly building it back up again.

But compared to being depressed over Avery, at least at the moment he was smiling. That was reason enough for Penelope to follow him to the dance floor and rest one hand on his shoulder while he kept hold of the other.

“You look really nice,” Schneider said as they began to move.

“Thanks, Schneider. I guess that’s something, at least.”

“What do you mean?”

She caught one of Victor’s cousins watching her and shook her head. “Oh, you know. Everybody here is ready to throw me a pity party. And I’m fine!”

He blinked. “Of course you are, Penelope. You’re rocking at this whole life thing.”

“It’s just so frustrating. I could find someone in a heartbeat. I have absolutely no trouble finding someone.”

“Well, if I know that’s true, and you know that’s true…then why is it bothering you so much?”

Schneider shifted a little closer as they turned in a slow circle, and she closed  her eyes, trying to relax. “I don’t know. It’s just bugging me.”

“Okay.”

He was quiet after that, and she focused on the feel of his hand in hers, the warmth of his fingers pressing into her waist. It was strange, wasn’t it, that they’d never danced together like this before?

Sure, he’d joined her for a couple of dances at Elena’s quinces, mostly because he was too cheerful about it for her to tell him no without feeling like a total jerk. But those had been fast songs, and friendly dances. There was absolutely no touching involved.

And at the school dance they’d both chaperoned, he’d danced with her Mami after he and Nikki broke up, the two of them salsaing whether the music called for it or not. It had made her smile even while her mind was worrying over Max’s words. But because there was Max, it would never have occurred to her to dance with Schneider.

What a difference a year made.

“I’m not sure I can keep a man,” Penelope blurted out, making Schneider’s footsteps falter for a second before he glided her back into a waltz.

“What are you talking about?”

“All those people telling me I’ll find someone someday, I know they don’t know what they’re talking about. I’m really good at finding someone. And they’re all great guys.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Schneider’s face got that slightly starstruck look that returned whenever he thought about Max, and she rolled her eyes.

“So, you know…I can get a man. I’m just not so good at keeping them. No matter how great they are on paper, I can’t make it work. A relationship isn’t everything–it’s not even at the top of my bucket list right now. But it really sucks anyway, not being good at them.”

He stopped dancing, stepping back with her hand still gripped in his. “Hey, hey. Who says you’re not good at relationships?”

Penelope glanced over her shoulder. “Well, Tia Pity over there, for starters. And all the other people who look at me and see a failure just because my marriage didn’t work out.”

“Your marriage ending was not your fault,” Schneider insisted, his voice low among the crowd. “You’re not responsible for Victor’s choices, Penelope. You had kids to think about.”

“And I didn’t fight for Max,” she continued, as though he hadn’t spoken. “I gave Mateo so little of my attention we were barely dating even while we were dating. I know it takes two people to make a relationship work, but I’m not blameless. Those women clicking their tongues sympathetically at me tonight, they have a point. I might never find somebody to spend my life with.”

He shook his head and pulled her close. “Come here.”

Once she was dancing with him again, her face almost resting against his chest, Schneider continued.

“You’re talking to the guy who ruined the only good thing he had going for him,” he said. “I’m officially an expert on being bad at relationships–and I’ve only had one, so you have to admit that’s impressive.”

“Schneider…”

Penelope tipped her head up to look at him, their eyes meeting as the song ended.

He leaned back, letting go of her hand. “Thanks for the dance.”

She stepped forward, closing in on his space again. “Where do you think you’re going? We’re not finished.”

Schneider’s forehead wrinkled to match his confused tone. “We’re not?”

“No, dummy. Who else am I gonna dance with if you leave me stranded here?”

Still bewildered, he let Penelope’s fingers wrap around his, his other hand resting on her hip this time. The new music was slower; they swayed along with it while she bit her bottom lip and chose her next words carefully.

“What you just said about Avery, that’s crap.”

“Penelope–”

“I mean it. You were going through a hard time, harder than you have in years. You don’t have a special talent for ruining relationships just because that one ended. Because in case you hadn’t noticed, this right here? Is a relationship too. Not like you and Avery, but still going strong after years of up and downs. And so are your relationships with my Mami, and Elena and Alex. So stop telling yourself she was the only good thing, okay? It’s not true.”

His hand squeezed hers while she settled against him, deciding the time for formalities was over.

“You’re right,” Schneider murmured. “I’m sorry. You and your family…you guys are the best thing. You always have been. It’s just harder now.”

“What is?”

He was silent for so long, she thought he might not answer the question.

“Hoping,” Schneider finally said, resting his cheek against the top of her head.

“Right.” She nodded, curls tickling his face. “I get that. But, Schneider?”

“Yeah?”

“We were there, through all of it. We’re still here. If it hurts too much to hope yet, maybe try trusting that instead. You have us.”

She smiled against his lapel. “And if we can make it through the worst with you, then there’s totally a woman out there who could too. One just as special as Avery. You’ll find her.”

“Well, if that’s true, then you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

“Because you’ll be too busy to keep barging in at all hours?” She teased.

“No,” he replied, not joking at all. “Because if there really is someone out there for me, then you’re definitely going to find love again, Penelope. The kind that lasts.”

Schneider’s hands slid to the small of her back as the second song became a third, neither of them moving to end the dance.

“You think so, huh?”

“I know it,” he insisted, his eyes clearing for the first time all night. “It might not be at the top of your list, but it’ll happen. Nobody deserves it more than you.”

Penelope was still trying to figure out what to say to that when Schneider dipped her, grinning before he pulled her back into him and led her into a salsa.

She saw her Mami tango by with Dr. Berkowitz, no more concerned than Schneider about how they stood out from the crowd, and gave in.

It was her ex-husband’s wedding, after all. She knew before she came that she wouldn’t be having a fabulous time. She couldn’t even make his friends and family stop looking at her like she was doomed to die alone.

But no matter what they thought, she wasn’t alone.

Schneider was throwing goofy flourishes into his dance moves, singing off-key along with the music, his hands warm where they gripped her hips.

Maybe they were both bad at relationships. Maybe they would both be single for the next thirty years.

Whatever the future held, Penelope had better things to do than worry about it right then.

She would rather salsa.

[shadow-light19]

Stay With Me

Summary: For all the shit Max likes to give David, he doesn’t actually hate him. Sure, he’s an over-optimistic, hippy, dumbass that can’t seem to understand the fact that the world’s not perfect, there will always be someone who will screw you over, and we’re all going to die one day, but David makes it bearable. No one else cared about him like he did.

Notes: This story takes place after the Parent’s Day episode in Camp Camp. David adopts Max after finding out about Max’s neglect and Gwen is unofficially his Mom.

“Good morning, campers! Isn’t today just a beautiful day?” David greeted the campers from the kitchen as they entered the Mess Hall for breakfast.

A chorus of tired voices, and one excited one, responded back. Max sighed as he carried his tray over to his usual spot where Neil and Nikki were already sitting. Mashed potatoes and coffee. What a great breakfast. Instead of eating, Max boredly pushed his potatoes around with his fork while drinking his coffee. Nikki was shoveling as much food as she could in her mouth, and Neil was halfheartedly poking at his potatoes while he chewed an apple.

David walked into the mess hall and stood happily with his hands on his hips. “I have a fun activity for us planned today! The weather forecast for tonight mentioned there will be a big storm, so I thought we could go on a refreshing morning hike, picnic in the forest, and then return to camp before the storm hits to watch a movie here in the Mess Hall. We’ll all meet out front once you’re ready to go!”

Most of the campers groaned at that. “How exciting! We get to go on a quest! Maybe I’ll get the chance to cast a weather charm if the storm catches up with us before we get back!” Nerris exclaimed.

Nikki was jumping up and down in her seat. “Ooo! Maybe we’ll get to see a bear! Or a snake! Or a wolf!” Neil and Max looked at her in bewilderment.

“No way! The last thing I want to do today is encounter a wild animal and almost die. Haven’t we had enough stupid shit happen to us?” Neil glared at his plate.

Max rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Camp’s been boring lately anyway since that shit-stain Campbell was arrested. I wouldn’t mind watching someone get mauled for entertainment.”

He carried his tray off to the kitchen and placed it in the sink. “Hiya, Max! Are you excited to go hiking today?” David ruffled Max’s hair. Max glared at him and knocked his hand away.

“Yeah, David, I am so fucking excited to go hiking. You know what? I hope when we go camping today you get mauled by bears. Then I won’t have to put up with your annoying attitude for a while.” Max grimaced as David chuckled at his threat.

“You just need to experience it first, and then you’ll love hiking. I was the same way you know?” Max rolled his eyes and walked out of the kitchen with his hands in his hoodie pocket. “You told me that story before. God, you’re so fucking annoying.”

 Once everyone finished up eating breakfast, they set off on the hiking trail. Gwen and David were leading the group with Max and friends trailing behind the rest. They walked like that through the forest for several hours. The further they went, the more the path inclined higher and broke for lunch beside a large, fast-moving river.

“Okay, everyone! Let’s go ahead and set up for lunch here! Nikki, can you help me lay down the blankets? Nerris and Harrison, could you guys help Gwen prepare the sandwiches?”

David slung his backpack to the ground and pulled out several thin blankets. Nikki yelled in joy as she lunged at the pile and popped out with a blanket over her head. Nerris and Harrison pulled out the ingredients and started making sandwiches with Gwen. Everyone else situated themselves on the blankets as Nikki and David laid them flat.

Neil, Nikki, and Max were all chatting quietly together at one of the blankets. Max turned to ask David if they were going to do anything else in the area when he noticed David and Gwen muttering softly together by the river while looking concerned. Max quietly approached them while trying to listen in.

“..should get going. I don’t like the look of those clouds.” Gwen murmured.

She glanced back at the path as if trying to gauge in her mind the fastest way back. David continued to frown at the clouds.

“This must be a fast-moving storm. I saw the Altocumulus clouds as we were leaving. They generally indicate thunderstorms 6-12 hours before they occur, but it’s only been 4. We shouldn’t be seeing Nimbostratus clouds yet.”

“Since when could you read clouds?”

David startled at Max’s voice. He relaxed a little when Max’s face only showed grudging curiosity.

“It’s important as a camper to be able to read the clouds in order to determine storms or other weather patterns. Nimbostratus clouds are those dark gray clouds you always see before a heavy rain. In general, clouds that are low to the ground are more likely to signify rain or storm conditions. I’ll have to teach you guys these signs the next time there is a storm coming. I can’t show you the warning clouds since they are already gone.”

Max frowned. For once, that might actually be a useful camp activity. He’d certainly use that more often than fishing or tying knots.

“So, you’re admitting that you fucked up, and we need to get back to camp as soon as possible, or we’re going to be caught in some God-forsaken storm?”

David winced at the phrasing. “I wouldn’t say it like that. No one can predict nature accurately, I just thought we had more time to make it back.” Max raised a brow at him. “So, you fucked up.”

David sighed, “Alright, I made a mistake. We need to start packing up, though. The wind is starting to pick up already, and I’d like to make it back before it starts to rain.” David clapped his hands together.

“Okay, everyone, we are going to need your help packing up. The storm is catching up with us right now, and we need to hurry if we want to get back before it hits.”

The other kids looked up at the sky before clambering to gather everything together. As they Nikki and Neil getting up, the wind picked up their blanket and blew it in Max’s face. Max flinched when the blanket hit him and stumbled backward, falling into the river.

“MAX!” David cried out as Max went under. Max wrestled the blanket off him and resurfaced, but the river was already carrying him away. “DAVID!” Max screamed. “Get the kids back to camp, Gwen! I’ll rescue Max!” David didn’t wait for a reply as he chased after him.

Max struggled to keep his head above water. He was starting to get tired, and it didn’t help that his hoodie was dragging him down. As he coughed out water, he saw David falling further and further behind.

“Max! Try to swim towards the bank! Don’t swim against the current, you’ll tire yourself out! Once you’re close enough to the bank, I’ll grab you!” Max wasn’t sure how he’d do that, but he trusted that David wouldn’t let him drown and started paddling for the bank. He wasn’t able to get very close, though, as the current was too strong. David chucked his bag to the side and dived into the water.

“DAVID!” Max yelled in fear.

 He watched as David swam strongly towards him and maneuvered Max to his back so that he could use both hands to swim to the bank. Max was exhausted and held on with no complaint. David’s arms churned through the river until he finally pulled them back onto the bank. The two collapsed on the ground, coughing out some of the water they accidentally swallowed.

“Are you alright, Max?” David rubbed Max’s back as he continued to cough. Max was trembling with terror, cold, and exhaustion. “W-what the fuck do you think you m-moron? I almost fucking d-drowned!”

David picked up Max in a piggyback carry. Max didn’t try to fight it. It felt nice that David cared enough about him to put his comfort first. David walked back in the direction they came from. Max tiredly burrowed his face into David’s shoulder.

“Why are we heading back up? Camp’s the other way dumbass.”

David glanced at Max for a moment before scanning the trees to the side of the river.

“I was carrying my pack with me when I ran after you. The river carried us pretty far out from the path, so I want to find the pack since we’ll probably get caught in the storm. I have food, water, and some raincoats in there.”

David carried Max in silence as they made their way back up the river. It took them 15 minutes to find the pack, and by then, the forest was starting to get dark. He could see the rain was still several yards away but knew that their best option would be to head in the direction of camp while looking for something that could act as a shelter.

 Max woke up to the feeling of light tapping on his shoulder. “The fuck?” Max rubbed his eyes with his hands. He realized he was still being carried by David, but he was also sitting in a sling made from a garish yellow raincoat. David had taken to carrying his pack in his arms.

“Put me down, jackass. How long was I asleep for?” Max slid down from David’s back and glared at the ground in embarrassment. He was relieved when David made no mention of it. “A little over an hour. We are about halfway back to camp, but it’s starting to drizzle. You should put this raincoat on.”

Max took the bright yellow raincoat from him and slipped it on. It was getting cold from the wind. David slung the pack on his shoulders after putting on a similar raincoat himself.

“Stay away from the trees, okay? They can act like lightning rods, so follow the middle of the path as best as possible.” David put an arm around Max’s shoulder and gently pushed him forward, Max swatted his hand away but started moving in the direction David had indicated.

“This hiking trip has been nothing but absolute shit. I can’t believe you thought it would be a good idea.” David sighed,” I’m sorry this happened. I should’ve known better than to try to go hiking before a storm. I can’t believe a put you all in danger like that.”

Max frowned. He hated it when David berated himself like that. “Whatever, you dumb shit. Like you said earlier, you didn’t know.” David gave Max a small smile. “Thanks, Max.” Max turned red at the sincerity in his voice.

“I only said that because you’re an annoying piece of shit when you’re sad.” David chuckled, “I know that’s Max-speak for ‘I don’t like seeing you upset.’” Max sputtered, “Don’t read into it! You’re deluding yourself!”

Max darted forward in an attempt to put some distance between himself and David, as David tried to ruffle his hair. Just as he did that, lightning struck a tree off to the side. The two flinched and covered their eyes from the blinding flash of light.

CRACK!

Max looked up at noticed the upper half of the tree falling right where he was standing.

“MAX!”

THUMP!

Max groaned as he was shoved backward and landed hard on his rear, eyes clenched in pain. He rubbed his butt as he stood up, opened his eyes, and saw the mass of tree branches on the ground in front of him.

“Fuck, that almost killed me! Dammit, David, this adventure really takes the fucking cake!” Max frowned when he didn’t reply. “David?” His eyes widened. He rushed towards the tree and started showing branches out of the way.

“David?!” Max called again. Yet again, no one answered. He could feel tears welling in his eyes as he pulled more branches away and got closer to the trunk of the tree. Finally, he could barely make out a bright yellow raincoat in front of the trunk. “David? You fucking bastard, you better answer me!”

Max started pulling at the branches covering David, trying to break them off so he could see him better. After a couple of attempts, Max was able to bend enough of the branches to uncover David’s head. He was lying unconscious on the left side of his face. The back and side of his head were sticky with blood, and his legs were trapped under the trunk of the tree. The tree wasn’t very big, but it was too heavy for Max to move. He could feel tears slipping down his cheeks as he smacked David’s cheek a couple of times, but he still didn’t wake. The rain started to come down harder. Max huddled against David’s unconscious body and sobbed.

“You can’t fucking leave me, David! You promised when you adopted me that you wouldn’t leave me like my shitty parents did! You can’t break your fucking promise, you hear me, David?!”

Max tried shaking him, but he still wouldn’t wake up. He put his hand to David’s mouth, feeling David’s warm breath on his freezing wet hand. It was the only assurance he had that David was alive.

“You’re the only one who fucking cares about me. You can’t leave me alone, Dad…”

 Max wasn’t sure how long he sat there with David. It was really dark out due to the thick storm clouds. He had gotten colder as the rain turned into a downpour and had pulled out the two spare blankets from the picnic. He wrapped himself in one underneath his raincoat so it wouldn’t get wet, and then tried his best to shove another underneath David’s coat to keep him warm.

David was freezing, and as more time passed, Max started to become more panicked that David wouldn’t make it. He had also found some bandages in the backpack that he used to wrap David’s head wound. It had taken a while for Max to get it to stop bleeding. The rain prevented the gash from clotting, and the bandages kept slipping from David’s wet hair. He had to put pressure on it and winced when David whined in pain. It wasn’t enough to wake him up, though. Finally, after who knew who long, the rain started to let up.

Max clutched a flashlight to his chest as he reached a hand out to check on Davis again. He was still breathing, but it was weak and shallow. David was icy cold from the rain and from lying on the ground for so long. Max smacked David’s cheek again and jumped when he got a groan in response.

“David?!” David’s eyes fluttered, and he cracked them open. “W-what? M-Max?” He whispered. Tears formed in Max’s eyes again as he was hit with an overwhelming sense of relief and joy. “DAVID!” Max hugged David’s head tightly.

David winced at the shout. He tried to push himself up but was gently held down by Max. “Don’t move, you fucking bastard! A fucking tree fell on your sorry ass, and your legs are stuck in the trunk.”

David sighed and went limp. “A-are you okay?” Max glared at him. “Why are you worried about me? You’re the self-sacrificial asshole who pushed me out of the way. I seriously thought you were dead when you wouldn’t respond!” David opened his eyes partially and glanced up at Max.

“You didn’t a-answer my question.” The kid looked away. “…I’m fine. Just fucking cold.” David frowned when he noted Max was shivering. “Leave m-me here, Max. Get back to camp, and then you c-can send Gwen or someone to come get me. You’re g-going to get sick.”

Max shook his head.

“You idiot! If I leave you alone, you’ll probably get attacked by a wild animal or something! Where’s your phone? I couldn’t get it wherever it is; I can call Gwen to come get us.”

David shakily lifted a hand and brought it to the pants pocket on the opposite side of Max. He managed to get it out of the pocket but couldn’t lift it up. Max reached between a couple of branches and grabbed it. While the screen was cracked, it still worked. He pulled up David’s speed dial and clicked on Gwen’s name.

“David?! Where the fuck are you? Why aren’t you at the camp yet?!”

“Gwen! Shut the fuck up! I need you to get help. David is trapped under a fucking tree, and we are still an hour away from camp.” Max heard her suck in a breath.

“Goddammit! How injured is he?”

Max bit his lip. “He got hit on the back of his thick-ass skull, and the tree landed on his legs. He’s really cold too. I don’t know how much longer he’s going to last out here.”

The camper glanced at David, who was lying on the side of his face with his eyes closed. “David! Wake the fuck up! You can’t fall asleep!” He heard Gwen curse again over the phone.

“I already called a search and rescue. They went looking for you guys half an hour ago. You’ve been missing for four hours now. Just stay put and shout for help every now and then. With how bad the storm was, you probably don’t have to worry about any wild animals, but be careful not to make too much noise regardless.”

“Thanks, Gwen. I’m glad you’re here.” Max could feel his throat getting clogged with emotion.

“Keep him awake for me, okay squirt? I can’t run this camp without him.”

He chuckled wetly. “Bye.” Max hung up and put the phone in his pocket. He turned back to David, who still had a far-away look in his eyes. “David, I need you to stay with me, okay?”

David blinked a couple of times, and his eyes refocused on Max. “Okay, anything for you, Max.” Max felt a lump in his throat. "Anything? Then you better fucking survive this, okay? Promise me you won’t fucking die!”

Max grasped David’s hand in his own. “I promise. I’m so glad you're safe.” David smiled. “Why do you care about me so much?” David frowned. “What do you mean, Max?” Max could feel the tears burning in his eyes again.

“Why do you c-care so much about me? My p-parents didn’t fucking want me because I was a burden to them! I was such an a-asshole to you during camp, and yet you still w-wanted me when no one else did. What do you see in me that makes you think you should waste your s-stupid feelings on me?”

David lifted his hand out of Max’s hold and placed it on his head. He slowly petted Max. “You’re a good kid, Max. Your parents were pieces of shit who didn’t deserve you. I love you, Max. I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you’re happy. I’ll make up for everything they did to you because you are my son.”

Max sobbed loudly at David’s words. “I love you too, Dad.” David wiped the tears from Max’s eyes. His hand was shaking, and he slowly lowered it to the ground. Max grabbed it with an urgency he’d never felt before. “Dad! Stay awake! Please!” David smiled at him.

“I love you so much.” He whispered before his eyes closed again. “DAD!” Max started smacking his cheek again. “Wake up! W-wake up! W-wake u-up!” David’s breath was getting really shallow.

“SOMEONE! ANYONE! HELP ME!” Max screamed as loud as he could.

“PLEASE! I NEED HELP!”

“ANYONE!”

A loud thrumming noise kicked up nearby. He looked up and saw a bright light combing the forest before alighting on their huddled figures. Max clung to David as a group of men burst through the trees.

“Hey, kid?” Max looked up at the man who had kneeled down beside him. “We are here to help. We need to get you two to the hospital, but I’m gonna need you to move alright?”

Max nodded. He reluctantly let go of David, making no protest when he was picked up and carried up the helicopter by another rescue squad member. While he was carried up the rope ladder, Max watched as the remaining members worked together to lift the tree off of David.

 Max couldn’t stop staring at David’s prone form on their way to the hospital. The EMTs had notified Gwen that they had been found and that David was in critical condition. He was suffering from hypovolemic shock from the blood loss, hypothermia from the rain combined with the loss of blood, broken legs, cracked ribs, and a gash on the back of his head. It was a miracle that he was still alive. Max was seated next to David, wrapped in a blanket and an IV in his arm. He only suffered from slight hypothermia and dehydration.

When they arrived at the hospital, Max threw a fit as they wheeled David into surgery. He was inconsolable until Gwen arrived in the ER waiting room. She held him close as they waited for news on David.

“He’ll be alright, Max. He’s stronger than he looks. Besides, he’s dedicated the rest of his life to making you happy. He knows that you need him, so of course, he’ll be fine.”

Max burrowed his face into her shoulder. He couldn’t find the energy to cry anymore. “I can’t lose him, Gwen. He’s the only fucking family I have.” Gwen’s arms tightened around him.

“You won’t lose him. You gotta believe in him. The next time he wakes up, he’ll be that insufferably cheery guy who believes in the best in everything.”

They sat together for hours until a doctor walked into the waiting room. “I’m looking for the family of David?”

Gwen and Max jump up from their seats. “We’re here for David! How is he?” Gwen clasps Max’s hand in hers, and Max squeezes it in return.

“David was in critical condition when he arrived. However, we were able to successfully treat his injuries. He’ll be out of it for a couple of days due to his pain medication, and he’ll need to refrain from physical activity for a couple of months, but all-in-all he’ll make a sound recovery.”

The two sighed in relief. “He’s been placed in room 279 of the ICU for now. He’ll be moved when we know he’s out of the woods for sure.”

Max couldn’t restrain a soft chuckle and the camping idiom. Gwen thanked the doctor and led Max up to David’s room. “Now Max, I know you’re not going to want to leave David alone, and I need to head back to camp. Is there anything you want me to bring when I come to visit tomorrow?”

Max was thankful that Gwen was so understanding. “Can you bring Mr. Honeynuts and some clothes? Oh, David will want his guitar, and I want some paper and some color pencils as well.” Gwen rubbed Max’s hair. “Gotcha squirt. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Max climbed into David’s bed as Gwen left. He had to be careful of David’s legs, which were in casts and suspended from the ceiling, as well as the tubes that were connected to his arm and oxygen mask on his face. He curled up under the blankets against David’s side and fell asleep, knowing that David would be okay.

 Max woke up to the sound of knocking the next morning. He blearily rubbed his eyes as a nurse came in. “Good morning, Max! How are you feeling today?” Max glared at the woman.

“Just peachy. I almost fucking drowned yesterday, got stuck in the fucking storm for hours, and had to deal with the emotional fucking trauma of thinking my Dad was going to die.”

The nurse chuckled nervously. “I meant in regards to your recovery from hypothermia and exhaustion.” Max flipped her off. The nurse sighed and went to check on David’s vitals.

“What are you doing anyway?” The nurse didn’t look up from her clipboard. “I am writing down his vitals in order to keep a log of his recovery. I’m going to wake him up so he can eat something. What would you like from the Cafeteria? They can make you pancakes, omelets, or muffins.”

Max’s eyes lit up. “Pancakes and muffins! With hash browns and coffee!” The nurse wrote it down before she gently shook David’s shoulder. “David? Time to wake up!” David grunted, and his eyes fluttered open.

“What?” His eyesight was blurry, but he could make out a mop of dark hair and a blue hoodie. “Max!” David tried to sit up, wincing in pain when it put pressure on his cracked ribs. “Don’t try to get up, David. You cracked your ribs when the tree fell on you.”

The nurse helped David lay back. Max was too choked up with emotion to reprimand him. David’s eyesight cleared up after he blinked several times. He furrowed his eyebrows in worry when he saw Max.

“Are you okay, son?” The nurse snuck out of the room when Max started to sob. “You fucking dumbass! Don’t you ever fucking do that again!” Max carefully hugged David and cried into his hospital gown. David smiled softly and combed his hair with his hand.

“You scared the fucking shit out of me. I thought you were going to die after you stopped talking, and I was so sure that you would be dead by the time help arrived. You even made Gwen cry!” David pulled Max close to him.

“I’m sorry I worried you both. I saw the tree falling towards you and just reacted. You mean so much to me, Max, and I’d do anything to protect you.” Max sniffed and clenched David’s gown tighter.

“Gwen’s supposed to come by sometime today. She’s bringing us some stuff since you’ll be here for a while. You’re not allowed to do anything considered physical activities for a couple of months. It’s a good punishment since that means you can’t do most camping activities for a while.”

David chuckled. “I can still supervise! I’ll need an assistant though if you want to help. That way, we can still participate in activities together.” Max laughed. “I take it back. I missed you more when you were asleep.”

The two started laughing together until David’s ribs hurt too much, and he started coughing. Max worriedly hovered over David until he reassured him he was fine. There was knocking on the door again, and they were surprised to see Gwen poke her head in.

“David! You’re awake!” She ran up to the bed and carefully hugged the two. “Hiya, Gwen! It’s lovely to see you!” David greeted. Max rolled his eyes. “Hey, Gwen? Where’s the shit you promised to bring?”

Gwen was happy to see that Max was acting more like his old self. “I left it in the hall in case you guys were still sleeping. I brought everything you asked for as well as a couple of other things.” David and Max looked at each other in surprise before watching Gwen carry in a large bag and the guitar around her shoulder.

“My guitar!” David cheered. “I also brought the change in clothes, your bear, and…” She plopped the bag on a chair by the window. “The kids made get well cards for you both!”

She pulled out to stacks of cards, neatly bundled with a rubber band. She handed one to Max and the other to David. They unwound the rubber bands and flipped through to see handmade cards from everybody. Max felt a rush of affection when he saw his best friends’ cards. Nikki had glued sticks and leaves into a stick figure of the trio as well as Gwen and David like a family while Neil had drawn out a similar design but with color pencils and a note wishing them well.

He looked up at David and saw he had tears in his eyes from the gesture of his own cards. Gwen dug out some clothes, and Mr. Honeynuts and handed them to Max. When Max walked out of the bathroom after changing, they heard another knock at the door.

The nurse walked in and smiled when she saw Gwen. “Good morning, miss! I’m David’s nurse. How are you doing?”

The nurse pulled over a tray on wheels and placed Max’s breakfast on it. She also placed a bowl of oatmeal and a glass of water on the tray as well, which Max assumed was David’s meal. Gwen shook her hand.

“I’m Gwen, and I’m doing much better now that they’re alright. How long do you think it’ll be before David can get discharged?” The nurse looked at his chart. “I’d say a week, and then we can be released as long as he stays in a wheelchair and takes it easy.”

Everyone was relieved at that. Max climbed up the bed and pulled the tray close. He placed David’s on his lap and then dug into his own with gusto. David tried to lift up his spoon, but he was still shaky from the day before. Gwen took the spoon from David’s hand and held it up to his mouth.

David look astonished before he accepted her help. Max sent her a knowing look to which she responded with a wink. They both knew David would be too dense to figure the gesture out on his own. The nurse left after putting more painkiller in the IV.

Gwen helped David finish the last of his oatmeal, and the three chatted until David dozed off from the medication. “You know you’re going to have to straight out say it if you want him to know you like him. “

Gwen ruffled his hair. “Duh, but that’s what I like about him. Do you want the paper and color pencils now that he’s asleep?” Max nodded. He wanted to make David a get-well card as well. Gwen grabbed the items out of the bag she brought and handed it to Max.

“I have to get back to the camp now. Can’t leave it alone with the quartermaster for too long, or he might kill someone. I’ll come back tomorrow, and you have David’s phone in case of emergencies.” Max “Uh-uh. See ya tomorrow, then!”

Gwen waved and then headed out. Max spent a while working on the card for David. He wanted to let David know he cared, but he didn’t want it to sound stupid. When he set it on David’s lap. It had a drawing of David, Gwen and himself together on the front and the inside read, You need to get better so we can do another stupid family thing.

 To Max and David, the week it took for David to get released took forever. David had been moved to a general room after his 3rd day in the hospital. Max had gotten bored being stuck there all day but refused to leave David’s side for longer than an hour. He had taken to pranking some of the nurses and David or Gwen had to apologize profusely every time it happened. Finally, David was released from the hospital on the condition he stays in the wheelchair and rest for the next couple months.

When David’s car pulled up to the camp that evening, he was touched to see the campers were all standing outside waiting for him. There was a banner hanging in the Mess Hall saying ‘Welcome Back!’ that was slightly misspelled and drowned in glitter. Max pulled out the wheelchair from the trunk, and Gwen opened the passenger door for him.

“Hiya, everyone! What a wonderful surprise! I think this is the best camp greeting I’ve ever received!” Gwen wheeled David into the Mess Hall. “Now I know last week during the storm you wanted to have us all watch a movie and camp out in here. We decided we would do that today as a welcome back celebration!”

Dolph and Nurf pulled out the projector, Preston set up the screen, and Ered, Neil, and Nerris grabbed some snacks from the kitchen. Max grabbed a blanket from David’s room while the remaining campers set up blankets and sleeping bags on the floor. Max threw the blanket over David’s shoulders and climbed into his lap.

He was still a bit clingy from the incident, but nobody blamed him for acting so strangely. It reassured him that David was alive and well. David wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and the end’s together in front of him to cover Max as well. He rested his head on top of Max’s and grinned when the movie was Disney’s Oliver and Company.

Everyone had fun watching together and laughing at David when he cried multiple times during the movie. Max called him a wimp, and David would laugh and hug him in response. After the movie was over, everyone got ready for bed. The quartermaster had brought his mattress into the room so that David wouldn’t injure himself further.

The kids all said goodnight and had fallen asleep in places as close to David as possible. Nikki was asleep at the foot of his bed, curled up like a wolf in her sleeping bag. Max had fallen asleep, curled up in the middle of the bed. David was almost asleep when he felt the bed dip on the opposite edge.

He opened his eyes and was amazed to see Gwen getting comfortable. David sent her a confused look, so as not to wake the campers, and turned beet red when Gwen leaned forward and kissed him. Gwen affectionately rolled her eyes when David gave her the starriest-eyed smiled ever. The two turned to face Max and cuddled as him as they fell asleep.

[fcklifeex]

Dean Ambrose - Request 3

Request: Hey there darling ! First off I’d like to say I love your work. Secondly I was wondering if you could a Dean Ambrose x reader where the reader is the Bella Twins’ younger sister and secretly dating Dean and Nikki and Brie and a bunch of the other women on the roster find out on Total Divas or something ? Fluff and all that good warm fuzzy stuff ? (If not I’m sorry for bugging you ❤️)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Total Divas - Episode 1

Interview Segment: “Hi!” I gave a little wave to the camera. “I’m Y/N and I’m a WWE Diva. I’m 28 years old and as most of you know, I’m Brie and Nikki Bella’s little sister. Being in the business with my older sisters has its ups and downs. In real life, the twins usually outnumbered me so things went their way but when I came into the WWE, that wasn’t the case. I chose make a name for myself separately and so far I’d say I’ve done pretty well.

I never would’ve thought that I’d been working for WWE much less that I would’ve been a Diva’s Champion not once but twice and to top it all off, I’m dating the WWE World Heavyweight Champion - Dean Ambrose.”

My cheeks turned pink as I blushed and I couldn’t help but smile offering a shrug to the camera. “It’s great.”

---

“Dean!” I called out walking through the front door making my way towards the kitchen.

Catching my breath from my run, I walked into my bathroom to wash the sweat off my face. The Vegas heat was cruel this time of year but I saw it as a way of building endurance.

“Dean!” I yelled out again, walking into the kitchen only to see a trail of clothes leading out towards the backyard.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a bottle of water, taking a sip before I followed the trail out into the backyard where I saw him swimming in the pool.

Interview Segment: Unbeknownst to almost everyone, Dean and I have been dating for a little over 2 years now. We bought a home together about a year into our relationship and it’s our own little escape from the 300-plus days on the road.

“Hey babe.” He smiled at me as he swam to the edge. “How was the run?”

“It was alright. Mind telling me why you’re in the pool in boxers?” I laughed, approaching him.

“Well, I worked out and I was going to take a shower, but then I heard the pool calling my name. You know I can’t resist that…” I laughed and he reached for my ankle. “And now you’re going to join me.”

“Ahh!” I laughed, backing away. “Like hell I am. These leggings are brand new.”

He cocked his head to the side before a smirk crossed his face. “They make your ass look great.” He replied then he was all of a sudden out of the water. “But you’re getting in this pool one way or another.”

“Dean!” I squealed, laughing as I tried to run away around the pool.

He chased after me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me up into the air.

“No! Don’t you dare suplex me, Dean Ambrose!” I warned but he called my bluff, throwing both of us in the pool.

---

“Drinks and Karaoke?” I asked, throwing on an ACDC tank top.

Dean laughed, tying his sneakers. I slipped into my boots and walked closer to him so he could tie them for me. “We’ll be on the road for the next three weeks, Josh and Mel wanted to hang out before then so this is what I picked.” He replied, standing up from the bed to kiss me.

“God, you’re amazing!” I smiled as he spun me around.

After meeting our friends at the bar, we all let loose with a couple of drinks while catching up with them regarding family and and work. Dean threw his arm around me, keeping me tucked into his side while we all hung out, ordering us two more shots of whiskey which we downed pretty quickly.

“Dean and Y/N? You’re up next, here’s the song book.” One of the staff said, handing us a binder full of songs.

Dean placed it in front of us flipping through the laminated pages. “What’re you feeling like this time?”

“Ooh! They got Rebel Yell.” I pointed at the song name on the list.

He laughed, nodding his head. “Billy Idol for the win.”

Once the other couple finished, we walked up, grabbing the mics. Dean cleared his throat, shaking his legs to gain some adrenaline before he looked over at me with a wink.

The music started and on que, Dean began to sing.

“Last night a little dancer, came dancin’ to my door. Last night a little angel, came pumping on the floor. She said -”

I danced around him, bobbing my head to the music before joining him on the verse. “Come on baby I’ve got a license for love, and if it expires, pray help from above.”

“Because -”

I shook out my hair before singing with him. 

“In the midnight hour, she cried more, more, more!” We sang together, laughing and bobbing along to the music. “With a rebel yell - she cried more more more!”

Interview segment: Our favorite thing is karaoke. Both of us are music junkies and we get really into it. We’re always dancing and singing oldies in the car or at home - wherever. It’s one of the things that’s always bonded us.

The song came to an end and everyone cheered as Dean pulled me into his arms giving me a gentle headbutt before kissing me and returning to our seats.

---

“Pizza’s here!” Dean said, walking out to our backyard and setting the box down on the table. Pulling two bottles of beer out of the pockets of his shorts, he sat down beside me, grabbing a slice. “You all packed for tomorrow? Flight’s at 4:40 in the morning.”

“I’m packed, just my toothbrush and dry shampoo.” I replied, grabbing a slice and putting my feet up on the table looking through my phone.

“Ugh, i hate when you use that, your hair just feels like powder.” He replied, making a face, before taking a bite out of his pizza.

“We can’t all be lucky as lucky as you, walking around all greasy headed.” I retorted.

“They don’t call me the lunatic fringe for nothing.” He laughed.

“Hey look!” I said, showing him my phone. “There’s finally a new Lore podcast.”

“Do you wanna save it for tomorrow on the plane or -“

“No way, I’ve been waiting way too long.” I shook my head. “Besides, i already filled me laptop full of Ghost Adventures and Unsolved Mysteries to keep us busy the next few weeks.”

“That’s my girl.” He smiled, grabbing another slice.

After eating, he laid down beside me on the patio sofa, both of us with one headphone in as we looked at the string-lit trees listening to the spooky stories on the podcast.

I curled into his arms, my legs resting on his lap as he traced circles on my back with his fingertips. He laid his head on mine, kissing my hair softly as he held me close.

Interview Segment: See, people have this expectation of wrestlers that they’re always eccentric and hyper like we are during shows. Well while that is the case at times, we’re also human. Dean and I might be at the height of our careers but we’re just like everyone else.

We like listening to music and scaring ourselves with horror movies. We binge on pizza on the few nights we’re home because neither of us feel like cooking. We go out and embarrass ourselves with friends. Hopefully all this gets to give you guys a peak at how we are outside of the ring.

Monday Night Raw - Backstage Screening

“Well?” Sean asked, looking at the room full of Divas but all of their eyes were on me.

Tonight we got to screen the first episode of Total Divas Season 6. The screening however was shown to us during a Monday Night Raw show, which meant any Diva and Superstar that wasn’t busy could drop in and watch if they wanted too.

“What...the...fuck, Y/N!” Nikki hit me in the arm while both her and Brie demanded answers.

Unfortunately, I was going to catch a whole lot of heat seeing as nobody knew Dean and I were dating. Until right now.

For the last 2 years we were able to keep it on the low. We had our home in Vegas. We had our own group of friends we hung out with that weren’t in the WWE. During shows we’d arrive separately, we never really ran into each other and we’d only meet back up in the hotel room. It was the only way to make it all work between super crazed fans of both of ours as well as my nosy family.

See, while I adored my friends, family, and fans - they could be overbearing at times which is why we kept it to ourselves. We were extremely private about our personal lives and aside from the company execs, nobody had known. Even the company had been kept in the dark until we had to go update our addresses when we moved into our home.  

Then WWE decided I needed to be on Total Divas. They said they wanted to add fuel to one of Dean’s upcoming storylines and since I’d appeared in background scenes of the show every so often with the Twins, they thought the show would be the perfect way to do that - despite all of our protests.

But once the decision was made, Dean and I talked and decided we would give it our all. If it had to be shown, they were going to see us on our terms and get a real glimpse at our relationship. It was only for one season and people were bound to find out anyway.

“What?” I asked, trying to play dumb but this time Brie took a turn to hit me in the arm.

“When the hell did you start dating Dean?” She asked, placing her hands on her hips.

I shrugged, rubbing my arms in the spots they’ve hit. “Chill - I don’t know exactly when. We just were talking all the time and then we were together all the time, and then we bought a house - it just kinda happened.”

“You BOUGHT the house?! Buying a house with someone doesn’t just ‘kinda’ happen, Y/N” Nikki said wide-eyed. “How could you keep this from us?”

“Is that why you never invite us over to visit you in Vegas?” Brie asked, just as bewildered.

“You’ve literally watched me flirt with Dean every chance I get - how could you never have said anything?!” Renee said while Naomi and Natalya laughed.

“Guys relax - it’s not that serious.” I shook my head. “Dean and I -” “How could you call that not being serious?!” Nikki interrupted.

“No - not that - it’s just -”

“Just what?” They said together, interrupting me again.

“Woah - what’s going on in here?” Dean asked, stepping into the room with Roman.

I opened my mouth to speak but Brie answered instead. “You’ve been dating Y/N this whole time?!”

He looked at me instantly then at the TV with a Total Divas screen paused.

“Oh.” Dean shrugged, eatting something then coming around to throw his arm over my shoulder, offering me some of the starburst chews he had in his hand. “Well guess the cat’s outta the bag.”

“You guys are so cute together! How could you keep this from everybody?” Nattie asked looking between the two of us. I grabbed a piece of candy, tossing it into my mouth before looking at everyone. “Guys - it’s not a big deal. We just went with the flow, this is where it led us. We just share so much of everything all the time, we wanted to keep this between us. And I mean, Brie - you’re so caught up with Brian and Nikki’s so caught up with John, all you guys do is talk about them to anyone that’ll listen. I’ve just never been like that. What Dean and I have …”

“Is pretty kickass.” Dean said, finishing my sentence as he looked down at me with a smile.

“That is adorable.” Naomi nodded. “Good for you guys.”

“I just feel like we’re so out of touch with our own sister.” Brie pouted.

“Everything just makes so much sense now.” Nikki finally gave in with a small smile. “Missing from holiday get togethers - never hanging out after work…” “We just wanted to keep it to ourselves for a little while.” I looked up at Dean, turning to wrap my arms around his waist as he hugged me into his chest. “We knew you’d have to find out eventually and we figured at least this way we could show you instead.

Dean smiled down at me, leaning his head down to kiss me for the first time in front of people. “What can I say, I wanted her to myself for a little while. I love her.”

“AWWWWH!” They all said, watching us.

I kissed him back as my cheeks flushed red in blush before everyone came around to hug us.

**GIFS not mine

I hope you enjoyed, as always - let me know if you have a request.

[keywestlou]

TRUMP WINS.....FOR NOW.....THERE IS ALWAYS LAS VEGAS

Trump won for the second time yesterday. The man is unimpeachable! He has one problem, however. People such as he get their just due at some later time.

So it will be with Trump. He has too many criminal and civil matters hanging over his head. In due course, he will be litigating them. Probably more than one at a time. Justice delayed will not be justice denied in his instance. He always has Las Vegas!

Recall O.J. Simpson. Many thought he was guilty of killing his wife and her boy friend. Yet he was acquitted. Thirteen years later Simpson was tried on criminal charges in a separate matter in Las Vegas. He was found guilty and sentenced to 33 years. He was paroled after 9.

Trump will get his.

Trump has his guardian angel. The one that comes from below. He played his most devoted supporters for suckers and insulted the intelligence of the rest of the American people.

Trump support by Senators and Representatives was nothing less than an abdication of responsibility.  Such abdication invites more lawlessness from Trump or those who follow who are of his ilk.

This episode in U.S. history carries a clear message. We cannot sit on our asses and turn our backs on national terrorism. It has come out of the shadows. It must now be defeated.

Fire should be fought with fire. The country cannot sit idly back and do nothing or very little. All out war is required.

Or, what happened January 6 will occur again. At a time when the terrorists will be successful in overturning the government.

No negotiation with terrorists. The necessary must be done. Intelligence and force the weapons. Wipe them out! Otherwise the Cruzes, Grahams, Hawleys, and Rubios will become America’s leaders.

Poor Ashley Judd. The movie actress and activist. She is going through an experience that would be even too much for a movie.

Judd almost lost her leg in the Congo. At the moment, she is in an ICU unit in South Africa.

Judd’s leg was “shattered” when she tripped on a fallen tree on a pathway in the jungle. She was walking fast and did not see it.

It took 55 hours to get her from the jungle to an operating table in South Africa.

She initially was stuck on the ground where she had fallen for 5 hours. Her leg was “badly misshapened.” Those with her had Judd biting on a stick. In between “howling like an animal.”

She was eventually taken to a trauma unit on a motorcycle while holding the top part of her broken tibia together.

Judd says during these times: “I was at the edge of my edge.”

Florida is a Covid nightmare. Governor DeSantis’ fault. He is inept and at the moment out of control. He is opening some places where the vaccine can be given. Supermarkets and drug stores. However, few if any have the vaccine.

The Governor speaks with pride when he tells of the many sites where one can be inoculated. He forgets to share there is little or no vaccine available.

All at a time when Florida’s coronavirus numbers are skyrocketing.

Syracuse beat Boston College yesterday 75-67. Syracuse’s record now 12-6.

March Madness is around the corner. I doubt Syracuse will play in the big tournament. Unfortunate since Syracuse had the manpower this year. Exceptional players. They rarely were able to come together for a whole game.

Day 2 in Mykonos is my report for today. I changed my mind from yesterday. I began liking Mykonos on Day 2.

DAY 19…..Greece the First Time

Posted on June 15, 2012 by Key West Lou

What a difference a day makes!

My first night on Mikonos I went to the action area. The Chora. Old Mykonos by the waterfront.

My first night was two nights ago.

I reported yesterday that I did not like Mykonos. Too many people. Too much hustle and bustle.

I went back to Chora. Deserted compared to the evening before. Small crowds. Easy to get around. Restaurants basically empty. No one rushing you.

Why the change? I asked around. A simple reason. The night before there were three large cruise ships dumping their passengers off. Last night, no cruise ships.

I sat at an outside cafe the first night by the water. A large place. Expensive. Just watching the people and drinking. Not eating. All the tables were full with cruise ship people eating. Spending big dollars. Last night I was the only person sitting at the same outside cafe. Still only drinking. The owner and staff fell all over me. Glad you returned, anything you want, etc.

Business is tough. It is the euro situation. A major election Sunday that will determine the economic future of Greece for the next 20 years. It could also determine the subsequent rise and fall of the euro.

The local merchants were available to talk with me last night. One retailer told me his business was down 70 per cent in the last five years. The restaurant owner where I was taking up space said his business was down 40 per cent.

They all speak with fear in their eyes. They all hate Germany and Merkel. For two reasons. Germany is the only nation eating big time under the euro. Greece hurting the worst. The other reason is World War II and the Nazi domination of Greece.

After last evening, I started liking Mykonos. So much so that I may be staying a few extra days. Fourni comes into the decision making process, also.

Again, the difference a day makes. Fourni excites me. I wanted so to visit Fourni and spend some time there. Like a couple of weeks. That is how good I thought it would be.

I have no firm schedule. I was told that Fourni was a short 2 hour speed boat ride from Mykonos.

I went to buy my speed boat ticket yesterday. No boat to Fourni. They discontinued the run a couple of months ago.

Alternative ways. I could fly to Athens. From there fly to Somos. Stay overnight in Somos. Take the morning boat from Somos to Fourni.

I want to see Fourni badly, but not that bad. Too much time and too expensive.

There are no flights to Fourni from Mykonos.

I took a walk down to the waterfront. Chatted with several fisherman. Small boat owners. Would they take me to Fourni with their boat. About a 4-5 hour trip in a small boat. All said no. Too dangerous and too long. We never even got to money.

So it is Mykonos for a few days.

The electric power goes off occasionally in Key West. Yesterday the water went off in Mykonos. A frequent occurrence I was told. No water for six hours! Key West power is never off that long.

Apparently a pipe broke somewhere. I, and I assume most other vacationers on the island, were all greased up from sunbathing and no way to remove it. When the water did come back on after six hours, it was rusty for another half hour.

I was not upset. Only sticky. Happenings such as water breaks come with island living.

I finally found Terri White’s old stomping grounds last night. The piano bar she worked in several years ago. I tripped upon it. A small two foot long sign over a door on one of the alleys said Piano Bar. In I went. The place opened up into a large bar and dining room. Overlooking the water.

I met Nikki, Terri’s friend who owns the bar. I met his partner. If his family was there, I would have met each and every one of them. That is how it is in Mykonos and the rest of Greece.

It was 7. I wanted to hear Bobby Peaco play. Not till 10. Said I would return. Doubting that I would as that generally is my bed time.

Nikki was obviously pleased with Terri’s successes over the past few years. He spoke of her and it constantly.

Mykonos has to be dengue fever paradise. The mosquitoes got in my room last night. I finished the evening with at least a dozen bites.

Super Paradise Beach was my destination yesterday. I never made it. I lay by the hotel pool. It was quiet and soothing. The breeze perfect. The water the right temperature. Why leave.

Perhaps today.

I enjoy doing this blog daily and the other things I do. Yesterday, I published a new article on Amazon Kindle. Title: Unpaid Taxes. A portion of the article deals with the Greek unpaid tax problem. No one likes to pay taxes period. No one pays taxes if they can help it in Greece. This is one of the problems affecting the euro in Greece.

When there is an election, no one is pursued or prosecuted for unpaid taxes. The vote is more important than the tax dollar! When finally apprehended and charged, the individual still is not too concerned. Tax Court cases take 7-10 years to finalize.

I will try again for Super Paradise Beach today. Tonight, I have no idea.

Enjoy your day!

TRUMP WINS…..FOR NOW…..THERE IS ALWAYS LAS VEGAS was originally published on Key West Lou

[icameheretowinry]

92 Statements Tag Game

So, I was tagged by the lovely @jessthebooklover for this on my main, but since I’m more active on this blog, I’ll answer here. Thanks Jess! <3 

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.

THE LAST: 1. Drink: Diet coke 2. Phone call: To my mom 3. Text message: To my mom 4. Song you listened to: “Little Bit” by Futuristik 5. Time you cried: Sometime last week

HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: No 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: No 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: YES 10. Been depressed:  Yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yes

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14: Baby blue, poppy red (?), black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: Yes 16. Fallen out of love: No 17. Laughed until you cried: Yep! 18. Found out someone was talking about you: No 19. Met someone who changed you: No 20. Found out who your friends are: Sadly, yeah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Nada

GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 85% 23. Do you have any pets: No, but I want one 24. Do you want to change your name: Nope, I’ve grown to like it 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Stayed home, drank some champagne and ate some pizza. AMAZING 26. What time did you wake up: Since it’s summer, whenever 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Watching Big Bang Theory with my dad and brother 28. Name something you can’t wait for: Getting my own apartment and job somewhere 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Lol right now 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: Sometimes, I’m way too introverted and self-judgmental, so I’m trying to work on that 31. What are you listening right now: My fam trying to find something to watch on Netflix 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yeah, weirdly I know a lot of them (brother’s friends/guys from high school) 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: Not writing when I say I will dang it 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr, by a landslide

LOST QUESTIONS. 35. Mole/s: Yes 36. Mark/s: Yes 37. Childhood dream: I’ve wanted to be a writer since I was ten 38. Hair Colour: Blond 39. Long or short hair:  Medium 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Not anyone real lol 41. What do you like about yourself: I think I am kind, and I like my eyes 42. Piercings: Ears, maybe will get double piercings someday 43. Blood type: O (I think??) 44. Nickname: Nikki, Nik, Niks 45. Relationship status: Single lady 46. Zodiac: Scorpio 47. Pronouns: She/Her 48. Favorite TV Show: Outside anime, Big Bang Theory, Will & Grace, Good Eats, and anything with Anthony Bourdain in it 49. Tattoos: Nope. I want one, but my rents would disown me lol. I also hate needles. 50. Right or left hand: Left 51. Surgery: Yep, a long time ago if you don’t count wisdom teeth 52. Hair dyed in different color: Highlights, but I want to do something crazy one day. Maybe pink?? 53. Sport: Lol, that’s a funny one. 55. Vacation: Tokyo, Norway, New Zealand, road trip through the British Isles, Singapore, I could go on… 56. Pair of trainers: Yeah

MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating Currently: Just had some pasta for dinner 58. Drinking currently: Glass of red wine 59. I’m about to: Watch the next episode of Cowboy Bebop 61. Waiting for: Who knows? 62. Want to: Write some more, but likely won’t tonight 63. Get married: I don’t know, I need to fall in love first 64. Career: Journalist, producer, writer

WHICH IS BETTER 65. Hugs or kisses: Hugs 66. Lips or eyes: Eyes 67. Shorter or taller: Taller 68. Older or younger: It doesn’t matter, as long as someone is mature 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Nice stomach 71. Sensitive or loud: Sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship! 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Both

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: No 75. Drank hard liquor: Yes 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No 77. Turned someone down: Yes 78. Sex in the first date: Hasn’t happened, and I highly doubt I would 79. Broken someone’s heart: Nope 80. Had your heart broken: Yes 81. Been arrested: Nope 82. Cried when someone died: Yeah 83. Fallen for a friend: Yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself: Sometimes 85. Miracles: Sometimes 86. Love at first sight: No, but prove me wrong 87. Santa Claus: I used too lol 88. Kiss in the first date: Yes 89. Angels: Not sure

OTHER: 90. Current best friends’ names: Julia, Daksha, Junior, Ariana, and Robyn (@the-heart-alchemist)  91. Eye color: brown 92. Favorite movie: Right now, Howls Moving Castle (I just rewatched it and fell in love all over again!)

I know this long, so only do it if you want! I tag @thestaffofra, @the-heart-alchemist, @hawkeyedflame, @soundofhope, @annaleigh, @xennariel, @canadiangold, @allfullmetal, @teslaswife, @rizaandthehawkeyes

[rebekahana21]

Nikki Adams: perfectionist, ambitious , creative

I am 21 years old, I am studying architecture at a prestigious and well known university in Massachusetts but I am from New York. My parents... well, my mom works with computers, she’s a programmer and my dad is a chemistry teacher. Oh, sorry. I think you are wondering why I am here, writing this to you? I don’t even know. But what I know is that what I am doing is right. Maybe I am doing it because I really feel like telling this to someone. I don’t have many people in my life. Just my parents, that are not here with me. And sometimes, you really want to talk to someone about your life, even if it’s not something spectacular in it. My daily routine consists in:

Waking up

Opening the curtains

Opening the window so fresh air invades my room

Doing some breathing exercises

Quick shower

Eating an yoghurt with fruits or something similar and drinking my lemonade

Brushing my teeth

Choosing an outfit

Going to classes

Eating my lunch alone at my favourite cafe

Heading back to classes

Walking home

After getting home I eat any type of fruits and after that I go for a jog

Quick shower

Eating my dinner and drinking my sweet tea (most of the times it’s vanilla tea or forest fruits)

Brushing my teeth

Studying and researching

Watching some of my favourite shows (in general you can find me drooling over Dean Winchester, Damon Salvatore, Stiles Stilinski, Sherlock Holmes and many others)

And after two episodes I usually read either a book or a comic book (I can’t choose between Marvel and DC, I am sorry)

Falling asleep

I am sorry for boring you, I know this might be irrelevant, but it isn’t. I just want you guys to know me better. So, this is a normal day for me. But, today something happened. Read number 10 again. While I was eating my salad, the sweet waiter, Clarke, approached me with my frappe and a big smile on her face.

“ Hello, miss Adams. How are you today?” she asked me very politely.

“Oh, hi, Clarke. Please. Stop calling me like that. As I told you a hundred times already, Nikki is fine. And I am good, what about you?” I said to her.

“I am okay...Nikki. Is that good?” She asked and I nodded as a smile appeared on my face. “Well, this is your drink. And... this was sent to you by the man from the ...,” she started to search the room, but she couldn’t find the person she was looking for. “He’s gone.” She looked so disappointed and hurt... Her boss called her, and she left after leaving the note from that stranger on my table and wishing me a good day.

I took that piece of paper and read “Meet me tonight on the roof of your block. 9 or 10 pm. Your choice.” This took me by surprise. A stranger wanted me to meet him on the roof of the building I am living in. This isn’t scary at all, right? I threw that piece on my backpack and finished my drink thinking of the person who could have sent me this. They knew where I was living. Maybe it’s just a colleague that lives nearby. But ... Ah! I didn’t have time for that, because my class was about to start in a few minutes. After I left Clarke a tip, I started to go a little bit faster than usual, because that mysterious guy made me lose track of time. Now I have to meditate if I should go to see who he is, or not.

[placetobenation]

SmackDown on Fox Episode #55 (SmackDown Season Premiere) SmackDown Episode # 1,104 Orlando, FL – The Thunderdome (Amway Center) 10/16/20

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have to admit that going into this week’s SmackDown report I am a bit down in the dumps as I am deeply saddened that after tonight’s show I will no longer be able to talk about some of my favorite WWE wrestlers for at least the next year (or until they show up randomly on SmackDown for no reason) in my SmackDown report, as many of the men and women I have enjoyed talking about over the past year have been moved over to Raw during the draft. After this past Monday, I had to play some Sarah McLachlan’s “I will remember you”, shed a few tears, and then I poured some sweet tea out (since I don’t drink alcohol thus I don’t have a 40) for all my SmackDown homies that were drafted to Raw. The ones that I will miss the most are Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods, Drew Gulak, Sheamus, Nikki Cross, and of course the gruesome twosome that is The Fiend and Alexa Bliss. I will also say that the people from Raw that were drafted to SmackDown in no shape, form, or fashion match the quality of all of those we lost, outside of Riott Squad, Bianca Belair, Kevin Owens, & Aleister Black I don’t care about most of the people SmackDown acquired from Raw. 

I was so looking forward to covering the Alexa Bliss aligning with The Fiend story as along with the feud between Roman Reigns and Jey Uso it had been one of the things that got me excited to watch SmackDown each week so I will miss talking about how that story develops over time, but at least I have a reason to get excited to watch Raw now. I will probably end up giving my thoughts from time to time on their segment each week because I love both of their characters. I loved what they did with the two on Raw with Alexa doing the Wyatt back bend pose in the corner and then her and The Fiend hitting stereo Sister Abigails on Andrade and Zelina Vega, it would’ve been fun if that had let to a feud between the two duos but unfortunately for Raw and very fortunately for me, Zelina Vega was drafted over to SmackDown. I look forward to what Alexa and The Fiend do next on the red brand. 

Now that I have that out of the way I will move on to the reason why I am here and that is to review this Season Premiere episode of SmackDown. 

We open the show with a new intro video that includes all of the new names that were drafted to SmackDown and then we go into the Thunderdome where the SmackDown roster is standing at the top of the stage, Triple H & Stephanie McMahon are in the ring and they welcome us to the season premiere of SmackDown. Triple H & Stephanie hype up the new stars that are on SmackDown and also run down what we can expect on the show tonight, but when they mention the SmackDown Tag Title match between The Street Profits and Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler we see Ziggler and Roode attack the Street Profits and this leads to a giant brawl between all of the men on the roster that ends up in the ring. Once the ring clears out some we get the appearance of “The Freak” Lars Sullivan who takes out Kalisto, Apollo Crews, & Chad Gable but then Hardy attacks Sullivan from behind and then low bridges him over the top rope and that sends us to commercial. 

This whole segment felt completely unnecessary as it didn’t do anything to help anyone and it really didn’t lead to anywhere except a match which we already knew was going to happen. This was the first of several times where we got both the rundown of matches for the show and some of the talents that were drafted over from Raw mentioned, I don’t know about you but I would rather see those people that were drafted over actually do something rather than be mentioned multiple times on the show. 

We come back and go straight into the first match of the night.

Match #1: Jeff Hardy vs “The Freak” Lars Sullivan Hardy dropkicks Sullivan in the knee and lands some punches and a mule kick on “The Freak” only for Sullivan to run through Hardy with a clothesline and then hit him with a series of crossface punches, Sullivan throws Hardy across the ring and then hits him with a sliding clothesline but “The Freak” only gets a 2 count. Sullivan goes up top looking for a diving headbutt but Hardy is able to move out of the way and “The Freak” crashes to the mat. Hardy makes a comeback with repeated right hands and then he takes “The Freak” down with a sitout jawbreaker, Hardy looks to send “The Freak” into the ropes but Sullivan blocks it and sends Hardy into the ropes instead which results in Hardy coming back with a running forearm and then he hits Sullivan with an inverted atomic drop. Hardy tries for the double leg takedown but Sulivan blocks it and clubs the back of Hardy. “The Freak” shoves hardy into the corner and charges in but eats an elbow and then is hit with Whisper in the Wind, but that only gets a 1 count as “The Freak” throws Hardy off of him. 

Hardy goes for the Twist of Fate, but Sullivan blocks it and shoves Hardy which sends Hardy through the ropes and to the floor. “The Freak” follows Hardy to the outside and catches Hardy when he attempts a Poetry in Motion and slams him on the apron (which is the hardest part of the ring just in case you didn’t know). “The Freak” rolls Hardy into the ring but Hardy catches Sullivan with a Twist of Fate and then goes up top looking for the Swanton Bomb, but Sullivan gets to his feet and grabs Hardy by the throat and then hits him with the Freak Accident which is enough to keep Hardy down for the count. Winner: Lars Sullivan via Pinfall    Match Rating: **¼ 

Hey, did you catch how I said “The Freak” a bunch of times during that match well just in case you didn’t allow me to remind you “The Freak”, “The Freak”, “The Freak”, “The Freak”. I just want to make sure I make it clear that Lars Sullivan’s nickname is “The Freak” because Vince was screaming in my ear the entire time I was writing this just like he was the announcers while this match was going on. This was a fine match that allowed Sullivan to show off his power and I’m actually surprised Hardy got in as much offense as he did given how they are doing everything in their power to skyrocket Sullivan to the moon as fast as they can. I can say right now that “The Freak” is one of the people I am least looking forward to writing about each week, but if all of his matches are this short I will be able to tolerate it. 

The announcers hype up the return of Daniel Bryan tonight as we go to commercial. 

We come back to a video hyping up one of SmackDown’s newest stars Bianca Belair. 

New Day come out for their farewell match but before that, we get a promo from the trio where they talk about their last six years as a team, Woods thanks Big E and Kingston for taking a chance on him when he was doing nothing in his career. Kingston talks about some of the moments they have had during their run and says that Woods and Big E started out as his friends but now they have become his brothers. Big E talks about how as great as their in-ring accomplishments are the things he will miss will be those mornings in some random town sitting down at a Waffle House and just talking about their families and then Big E gets a bit sad that he doesn’t yet have a family like the other two, but he is quickly cheered up when Kingston tells him he will have a family one day. Woods finally says that’s enough of the sappy stuff as they are there to get it done one more time and whoop that tale the only way they know how and that’s because New Day Rocks!

New Day’s opponents are interviewed backstage and they say the usual heel stuff about sending New Day packing for good.

The heels make their entrance and then we go to a break before the match starts.

Match #2: The New Day vs Sheamus, Cesaro, & Shinsuke Nakamura (New Day’s Farewell Match) Nakamura gets Woods in a rear waist lock to start the match but Woods gets control of Nakamura’s arm to break the waist lock and he looks to work over the arm but Nakamura lands a couple of knees to the midsection and some forearms in the corner to regain control of the match. Nakamura sends Woods into the corner but Woods jumps up and over Nakamura and then takes him down with an arm drag and looks to drag Nakamura over to the babyface corner in order to make a tag, but Nakamura stomps on Woods’ foot to prevent that from happening. Nakamura sends Woods into the ropes and he ducks a clothesline and then slides under Nakamura’s legs and then he throws him into Kingston (who had made a blind tag) who hits him with a mushroom stomp to the chest. Nakamura blocks a whip into the ropes with a kick to the midsection and then he takes Kingston down with a spinning wheel kick. Nakamura brings Kingston over to the heel corner and makes a tag to Cesaro.

Cesaro and Nakamura hit Kingston with a double hip toss and then they wishbone his legs. Cesaro gets Kingston in the corner and works him over with some body shots and then he whips him into the opposite corner, but Kingston springs out of the corner with a dropkick that connects on Cesaro. Kingston makes a tag to Big E and then he leapfrogs over Big E to hit Cesaro with a senton and then Big E tags in Woods who lifts Big E on his shoulders and slams him onto Cesaro for a 2 count. Cesaro no-sells a chop and then he levels Woods with an uppercut before tagging in his former Bar teammate Sheamus, they send Woods into the ropes and take him down with a double clothesline and then they remind Woods that they don’t just set the bar they are The Bar. Sheamus works Woods over for a minute but when he lifts Woods over his shoulder Woods slips out from behind and nails Sheamus with a rolling elbow and a sliding knee and this gives Woods the opportunity to make the tag to Big E. Woods runs off the ropes and Big E catches him in a powerbomb position and slams him onto Sheamus and then Kingston (who made a blind tag that was even blind to me as I couldn’t find when he tagged in) comes off the top with a frog splash which gets a 2 count. 

Sheamus sends Kingston into the ropes but ducks his head and gets kicked for it, Kingston looks to run off the ropes but Nakamura low bridges the ropes which sends Kingston to the outside. Sheamus tags in Cesaro who then tags in Nakamura, the heels go out to the floor, and The Bar hold Kingston in position as if they were going to hit a Magic Killer, but instead, they leave an opening for Nakamura to hit a running knee to Kingston’s midsection and then Cesaro takes Kingston down with a vertical suplex. Nakamura rolls Kingston back into the ring and goes for a cover, but only gets a 2 count. Nakamura gets Kingston into the heel corner and hits him with some good vibrations and then The Bar stomp a mudhole into Kingston. Kingston tries to fight back but Cesaro takes him right back down with a slam followed by a leg drop. The heels continue to make frequent tags as they work Kingston over in their corner, Kingston tries to fight out of the corner with everything he has but Cesaro catches him and sets him on the top rope where Sheamus grabs Kingston by his hair and pulls him down which causes Kingston to take a nasty bump to the floor and this sends us to a commercial break. 

We come back to Kingston trying to fight out of a hold, but Sheamus knees him in the gut and then knocks Woods off the apron. Sheamus looks like he wants to go for the Irish Curse, but Kingston catches him with a crucifix pin out of nowhere which gets a 2 count and then he follows that up by hitting Sheamus with an S.O.S. and now both men are down. Kingston slowly crawls over and makes the hot tag to Big E while Sheamus tags in Cesaro on the other side, Big E hits Cesaro with the trifecta of belly to belly suplexes and then hits the big splash. Big E gets in position to hit Cesaro with the Big Ending, but Cesaro blocks it and hits Big E with a gut wrench suplex. Cesaro hits Big E with a running uppercut in the corner, but when he goes for a second one he is met with an elbow, Woods makes a blind tag and then he shoves Cesaro toward Big E who lifts Cesaro up in a uranage but when he goes to slam him down Woods slides under and puts his knees up so that Cesaro hits Woods’ knees back-first, this gets a very close nearfall. 

Woods lands some punches on Cesaro but as they get closer to the heel corner Cesaro shoves Woods away to create distance and when Woods charges in Cesaro backdrops him to the apron, Woods looks to hit the rope-assisted tornado DDT, but Cesaro stops that in its tracks as he hits Woods with an uppercut and then he tags in Nakamura who hits Woods with the sliding German suplex which gets a 2 count. Nakamura kicks Woods in the head a few times and then goes for a strike combo but Woods ducks and then he takes Nakamura down with a drop toe hold into the middle rope and then he slides through the middle rope while making a tag to Kingston at the same time. Cesaro takes Woods down with a clothesline on the outside and then Big E low bridges the top rope which gets Kingston plenty of room to dive out onto their opponents. Sheamus takes Big E down and then he tries to reach out and grab Kingston but gets hit with a kick. Kingston rolls Nakamura back into the ring and then goes up top but when he dives off Nakamura catches him in mid-air with a kick and then he makes a tag to Cesaro. Cesaro puts Kingston in the big swing and Nakamura catches him with the Kinshasa, Cesaro catapults Kingston into Sheamus who hits him with a White Noise which gets a 2 count when Big E makes the save. 

Big E hits Cesaro with the Big Ending and then turns around into a kick from Nakamura and then Nakamura is taken down by a missile dropkick from Woods. Sheamus clotheslines Woods out of the ring and then he goes over to Kingston and starts trash talking him which gives Kingston time to hit Sheamus with a headbutt and then he moves out of the way when Sheamus charges at him in the corner which sends Sheamus shoulder-first into the ring post. Kingston tags in Woods who immediately tags in Big E and they hit Sheamus with the Midnight Hour to pick up their final win as a trio.  Winners: The New Day via Pinfall   Match Rating: ***½ 

After the match, New Day huddle up, and Big E thanks Kingston and Woods for one last time.

I am so glad they gave New Day time before the match to vocalize how they were feeling as it has clearly been an emotional week for all three of them just as it has been for the fans because New Day going their separate means the end of an era for tag team wrestling in WWE. I don’t think there ever has been or will ever be a team that is equally fun and entertaining before, during, and after matches like New Day has been over the past 6 years. It was clear that every time they were together they were genuinely having fun and that made it even more fun for us to watch. I thought the match was really good and did what it was supposed to which was to let New Day get all their stuff in one last time. I was getting worried after the match that we could get Big E turning on Kingston and Woods as he kept thanking them for the past six years, but thankfully nobody had to turn and the door is still left open for a reunion of the team down the road. All in all, this was a really nice send-off for one of the best teams in the history of the WWE. 

We go to the back where Otis is interviewed about all the bad luck he has been having lately but before he has a chance to respond he is interrupted by Sami Zayn who mocks Otis for losing both his best friend and his girlfriend to Raw and thus he will probably lose the lawsuit against The Miz as well, Otis screams at Zayn and shoves him to the floor. 

Daniel Bryan makes his way to the ring as we go to commercial. 

We come back from break and see that Brie Bella and Bryan’s daughter Birdie have taken up one of the audience spots in the Thunderdome, this would happen several times throughout the night with different legends showing up in the audience and we would be shown a grainy up-close shot of them. 

Bryan talks up the Thunderdome and says that as much as he loved being home he couldn’t wait to come back and experience the Thunderdome. Bryan said he came back on a great night as there are so many new faces that he both can’t wait to watch (Bianca Belair & Riott Squad) and also can’t wait to get in the ring with (Aleister Black, Kevin Owens, & Apollo Crews). This would eventually lead to Seth Rollins coming out to the ring.

Rollins is disappointed that Bryan didn’t mention him in the list of names he would like to face, but he will forget about that as he has an important question for Bryan, Rollins asks Bryan which side of history does he want to be on? Rollins says that in the matter of the greater good you are either with him or against him and surely someone as smart as Bryan would want to stand beside him and help mold the future of SmackDown in his vision. Bryan says that while he is all about changing for the good he thinks Rollins’ vision is short-sighted, self-indulgent, and quite frankly it’s just dumb. Rollins instantly becomes furious at Bryan calling his vision dumb and they go back and forth until Rollins hits Bryan, but Bryan makes his comeback really quickly as he hits Rollins with a flying clothesline and then he delivers some Yes Kicks which sends Rollins fleeing from the ring. 

Rollins walks up the ramp and now I bet you all can guess what happened next, that’s right Dominik and Rey Mysterio come out which has Rollins back-peddling back into the ring. Rollins once again tries to get Bryan to join him against Rey and Dominik, but Bryan is like Nah and leaves the ring. The Mysterios stare down Rollins and look to attack him but before they can Murphy runs down to the ring and it looks like he is going to help Rollins, but he turns and starts attacking his former “Messiah” and then he sends Rollins out of the ring with a big knee strike. Murphy extends his hand looking for a sign of mutual respect, but they both refuse to shake his hand and then they leave the ring. 

It is always nice to see Daniel Bryan when he comes back and this time was no different. I had a feeling when Bryan came out that this would lead to Rollins coming out because that is a fresh feud that we haven’t really seen as Bryan and Rollins have been on separate rosters ever since the brand split in 2016. It seems like from this segment they could be transitioning Rollins out of the feud with the Mysterios and putting him into a feud with Bryan while the Mysterios deal with Murphy on his own. I love that due to Rollins screwing with them for the past however many months the Mysterios are now the ones turning into assholes as they won’t even accept a handshake from Murphy after he beat up his former leader so in that way Rollins got what he wanted out of his feud with the Mysterios as now they are just as self-righteous as he is. I enjoyed this segment even though it did involve Rollins, Murphy, and the Mysterios. 

The Street Profits make their way to the ring and we get an inset promo where they talk about defending their titles and that sends us to a commercial. 

Match #3: Street Profits © vs Dolph Ziggler & Robert Roode (SmackDown Tag Team Championship) Ziggler goes for a single leg takedown but Dawkins blocks it and grabs a headlock and then he is shot off into the ropes where he takes Ziggler down with a shoulder block and then moments later he takes him down with a dropkick. Dawkins goes for the spinning splash in the corner, but Ziggler moves out of the way and makes a tag to Roode who stomps a mudhole into Dawkins in the corner, and then he hits him with a vertical suplex for a 2 count. 

Roode knocks Ford off the apron and then hits Dawkins with a front suplex before tagging Ziggler in, Ziggler hits Dawkins with a leapfrog rocker dropper with help from Roode and goes for the cover but only gets a 2 count as Ford makes the save. All four men are in the ring and as they are brawling they are ignoring the referees 5 count and she is forced to call for the bell. Winners: N/A – Double DQ    Match Rating: *½ 

After the match, Ziggler and Roode throw Ford out of the ring and then they hit Dawkins with a Spinebuster and ZigZag combo, Ford gets back to his feet and climbs up top, and takes both of his opponents down with a big crossbody. 

Not sure why we needed this match on the show especially after Ziggler and Roode lost a tag title match on Monday not sure what warranted them having another title match on the other brand just four days later. I would’ve rather seen this time (although it would be short) go to some more of the women on the show like a Bianca, Carmella (who’s big return they have hyped up for weeks), or if they had to have a tag match in this spot then showcase The Riott Squad in this spot. This segment could’ve involved anyone else except Ziggler and Roode and been much better. 

We get a video package highlighting the entire Sasha vs Bayley feud. Sasha Banks makes her way to the ring looking like a true star and this sends us to a commercial break. 

We come back and Bayley makes her way to the ring with a steel chair in hand. 

Adam Pearce will be overseeing this contract signing.

Sasha signs the contract first and says she has been waiting for this moment for a very long time and Bayley says she has too and she is ready to move on so she can continue her reign as longest-reigning SmackDown Women’s Champion and then Bayley says that she lasted that long as champion all by herself, this lights a spark under Sasha as she dares Bayley to say that she did it all by herself again and this time to her face. Bayley tells Sasha to calm down as that kind of attitude and the look in Sasha’s eyes are the reason why she turned on Sasha as she knew it was only a matter of time before Sasha turned on her so she decided to strike first and that is the main reason as to why Sasha is upset. 

Sasha said that if she wanted to turn on Bayley she would’ve done it years ago, but friends don’t turn on each other. Sasha says she has been by Bayley’s side for her entire career in the WWE as she was the one that made the call to bring her up as a tag partner for that one time match when Bayley was still down in NXT, she was by Bayley’s side when she helped her win her first Raw Women’s Championship, and finally, she was by Bayley’s side when they were the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions. Sasha congratulates Bayley on becoming the longest-reigning champion but reminds Bayley that she was by her side the entire time and helped her keep that title for as long as she has had it. Sasha says that Bayley tried to end her career and come Hell in a Cell she will end Bayley because she is Sasha Banks and her name is bigger than the SmackDown Women’s Championship. Sasha says that when she walks out of Hell in a Cell with Bayley’s title that will be the icing on the cake.

Bayley stands up and gets in Sasha’s face and then she backs up and leaves the ring without signing the contract. Sasha tells Bayley to go ahead and run away just like the coward that she is, but when Bayley is locked inside the Hell in a Cell there will be nowhere to run. Sasha says that Bayley will sign that contract one way or another. 

Whew! Sasha was on fire tonight both in terms of her looking like a true star and during her promo, she was scorching hot to the point where Bayley was left speechless. It was clear that Sasha wasn’t going to put up with Bayley’s bull shit on this night as she called Bayley on her shit throughout the entire promo. I love how Sasha becoming the Women’s Champion is just the cherry on top as she doesn’t even really care about the title as she is bigger than the title, but if taking the title means that Bayley will suffer then she will gladly take that title after she beats Bayley’s ass.  I am really looking forward to this match at Hell in a Cell and if the rumor is true that this will be the main event of the show then I have to say it has definitely earned it as this feud has been really great. 

We cut backstage where Braun Strowman is preparing for his big Universal Championship match which is coming up next after the commercial. 

We come back and Ken Jeong, Joel McHale, and several other celebrities congratulate WWE on their season premiere, these would run throughout the night and most of them included people from NFL on Fox. 

Earlier in the day, Goldberg had teased that he would be in the Thunderdome and this caused Twitter to collectively let out a groan, but thankfully his appearance in the Thunderdome was limited to just being in the crowd much like the other legends had throughout the night.

Match #4: Roman Reigns © w/ Paul Heyman vs Braun Strowman (WWE Universal Championship) We get a lock up as both men jockey for control around the ring and Reigns surprisingly uses Strowman’s momentum to throw him out of the ring. Strowman jumps back up on the apron only to get hit with a big Superman Punch that knocks him back down to the floor. Reigns waits for Strowman to get back to his feet and then he slides outside so he can hit Strowman with the drive-by and then he throws the bigger man back into the ring, Reigns goes for a cover but only gets a 1 count as Strowman powers out. Reigns works Strowman over with some strikes in the corner and then he attempts to whip Strowman into the corner, but Strowman reverses and sends Reigns into the corner, Strowman charges towards Reigns and is met with a big right hand and then he takes Strowman down with a big boot. Reigns goes for a cover, but once again Strowman forcefully kicks out to the point where Reigns rolls out of the ring. 

Reigns gets up on the apron and Strowman charges in but Reigns low bridges the ropes sending Strowman to the outside. Reigns sends Strowman face-first into the steps and the announce table and then Strowman comes back with a knee to the gut which creates some distance between Reigns and himself, Reigns leaps off the steps looking for a Superman Punch but is caught by Strowman and is sent into the ring post and then Strowman throws Reigns across the announce table. Strowman rolls back in the ring but when he sees Reigns getting back to his feet he goes back outside and pounces Reigns over the barricade and that sends us to a commercial break.

We come back to Strowman hitting Reigns with an avalanche in the corner and then he biels him across the ring and he follows that up with a big clubbing blow to the chest which gets a 2 count. Strowman waits for Reigns to get to his feet and looks to hit him with an avalanche in the corner, but Reigns is able to get a boot up and then when Strowman tries to charge in again Reigns moves out of the way sending Strowman shoulder-first into the ring post. Strowman goes for another Superman Punch, but Strowman catches him by the throat and screams at him before hitting him with a knee in the gut and then he drops Reigns with a Yokosuka Cutter. Strowman grabs Reigns by the throat and lifts him up from the mat and drops him back down with a chokeslam in the center of the ring, Strowman goes for a cover but only gets a 2 count and then Strowman starts rolling around on the mat and is holding his groin area and we later find out that Strowman got the same treatment that Jey Uso did at Clash of Champions as Reigns low blowed him at the same time he was kicking out of the pin. 

Reigns gets into position and hits Strowman with a giant Spear, but somehow Strowman is able to kick out at 2. Reigns sets up for another Spear, but as he runs in Strowman scoops him up looking for the powerslam but Reigns slips out from behind and shoves Strowman into the corner. Reigns runs off the ropes and Strowman looks to hit him with a flapjack, but Reigns is able to lock in a guillotine choke and even though Strowman drives Reigns into the corner he won’t let go, and eventually, Strowman collapses to the mat and it isn’t much longer before the referee calls for the bell as Strowman has been choked out. Winner: Roman Reigns via Submission    Match Rating: ***¼ 

After the match, Jey Uso comes out and Reigns continues to punish Strowman as a way to send a message to Uso. Reigns grabs a chair and this causes Uso to move closer to the ring as Reigns tells him this is how they eat and if he isn’t on top that isn’t possible and he doesn’t want Uso to end up like Strowman is right now. Reigns brutalizes Strowman with the chair repeatedly and this is enough to get Uso to come into the ring. 

Reigns tells Uso that he loves him but the fact that he is trying to take his place makes zero sense and then he gives Uso a chance to prove himself as he turns his back because he wants Uso to hit him with a chair, Uso refuses to hit Reigns and this brings a smile to Reigns’ face and he goes in for a hug but instead he catches a big right hand and a superkick from Uso and then Uso grabs the chair and starts hammering Reigns with it repeatedly while he screams that he loves Reigns too, the referees and agents pull him back and while they have him restrained Reigns gets back to his feet and lays Uso out with a Superman Punch. Reigns says that was Uso’s last chance and now he has to turn his back on Uso. Reigns and Heyman walk up the ramp as Reigns doesn’t look happy about what he is going to have to do to Uso at Hell in a Cell. The show ends with Uso getting checked on in the ring.  

I forgot just how well Strowman and Reigns work together as this was a lot of fun to watch. I’m not sure what Strowman is supposed to be right now as he is supposed to be the heel going into the match against Keith Lee on Monday, but here he was made to look like they sympathetic babyface that kept getting beat down after the match, perhaps he has already reached Big Show status where they feel they can turn him back and forth without any kind of explanation. After the match, we got another chapter in the awesome Roman Reigns and Jimmy Uso feud. I liked how Reigns got so confident when he thought Uso wasn’t going to hit him with the chair, but come to find out Uso was just treating Reigns the same way he had been treated as he attacked Reigns on his time and not when Reigns told him to and the fact that he was screaming that he loved Reigns while doing it made the moment even better. I can’t wait to see what these two can do inside Hell in a Cell next Sunday. 

This was a pretty good episode of SmackDown although I would’ve liked to see more of the new names that came over from Raw, I’m sure we’ll get them next week since some of the guys that were on this show will now be on Raw so there will be more time for the new guys. I really liked how they handled the New Day being separated as well as the main event match and post-match angle involving Reigns and Uso. 

That’s it for this week I’ll be back next week for more action from the blue brand. 

[badgerslick]

Jeeves Peeves & Nocturnal Emissions - Alone (not really)

Once again let's dive into the world of phony 'reality' television. These shows appeal to folks who enjoy watching people suffer. Why?  Their lives are shit and they want to see people worse off then themselves. You know the type.      To add artificial credibility to the show, producer Vic 'Ropemouth' Dimonucci hired his drinking buddy Bear Grylls as Chief Technical Adviser. Bear was available due to injuries sustained in a bizarre methane explosion inside a defective outhouse at the Mt. Shasta visitors center San-O-Let sewage park. The guy proved his mettle by wearing commercial-grade bloat diapers without complaint.    This series takes place in the Arctic. Day 43. Six people remain. Barry talking to camera.  Misses his wife. Duh...  Checks his traps. Medical crew checks on him. Alone? Naw. He's crying,  won't stop whining about his wife not being with him. Pathetic.    Nikki spit on a rock and commented that it froze. Glad for the valuable insight. Checking traps. Killed a rabbit.  Gonna eat vegetables out of the butchered hare's stomach. Cool!      Woniya  checking her traps like the other contestants. Caught a squirrel. She's thrilled. Wish I could say I was. No one has gotten deathly ill. Not even the dry-heaves. A major disappointment. Ho...hum...    Jordan's inside his tent complaining. Goes to fish with a reel and branch for a pole. He has no bait. Just a hook. What a surprise he failed. Drags himself back to his tent to pout.    Nathan cut his hair. A perfect example of how desperate this show is for content. He almost fainted while walking which for me would of been a program highlight.    Woniya is doing the female empowerment schtick. Not only men but women can do this stupid crap too. Blah...blah...blah... Ya think?    Michelle films checking her traps. Seems to be the highlight of everyone's day. She's fatigued because of low calorie intake. Get this!  As a bonus she's constipated too!  I think she's starving and can't take a dump which makes for an unusual and intriguingly watchable medical condition. Especially now that she can't focus and is starting to hallucinate. Definitely need to show more of her struggles.  She's crying. Needs to hook up with Barry for a group whine.    Nathan checks his gill net and shockingly has a fish!  To me this is the first and last edible meal of the program.    Michelle whimpers in her sleep. She's a pro at feeling sorry for herself.  She gives up.  Or is this Nikki?  Who cares?  Calls...yes calls for extraction. She was the most vulnerable of the lot so no surprise. I  think the shows ratings will plummet without her continuous misery.    One thing they all suffer acutely from is boredom.  Like the viewers.    I don't know how many episodes I missed before tonight's show. So here's a list of questions. Q:  Why at all locations are there no bears, wolves or moose? A:  The contestants would have to be armed. Q:  Why not arm them? A:  Because the producers are afraid these (unstable) people might turn the weapons on themselves or production employees. Q:  Why does the majority of the show evolve around depressive self-analysis? A:  Ratings. Q:  Why were these people chosen? A:  Contestants are carefully screened by trauma psychiatrists for weaknesses the show will exploit relentlessly. Q:  What precautions does the show provide for their safety? A:  Oh...the usual. Weekly medical evaluations. Continuing psychological tests that aren't part of the televised part of the program. Boat and air rescue. Bush phones. Panic buttons. Drones. Emergency first aid kits. Herding unwanted wildlife away from the contestants. Miscellaneous tools of which I would like to inventory just to see how prepared the show wants them to be. Q:  What other support personnel does the show provide from their headquarters over the hill? A:  Video techs to make sure the cameras function at all times. Don't wanna miss accidents, complaining and crying. Medics at the field hospital. A hypnotist who doubles as camp bartender. Chow hall personnel from the local Awahini Eskimo village. Local outdoorsmen to protect the compound from the animals they displaced from the 'campers' areas. Zombie-like groupies for non-essential errands. Recreational director and ballet instructor Pierre Pourquet, so personnel won't get as listless as the 'victims' the show is about. Q:  Why do people wanna be on the show? A:  To prove to themselves that they can hack it in the wilderness. Q:  Why was the last answer bullshit? A:  Because they know help is a phone call away. Q:  And? A:  Why compete? C'mon... Money and fame. In that order. The money will last longer than the fame. Q:  What have I missed by not watching  this show from the first installment? A:  I'm gonna go out on a limb and say, 'NOTHING'!                                                         Yawningly............Jeeves          

[placetobenation]

SmackDown on Fox Episode #41 SmackDown Episode # 1,090 Orlando, FL – WWE Performance Center 7/10//20.  The show opens with our intro video and then we go straight to the ring for another edition of MizTV.  Miz gives this long introduction for their guest tonight which is Jeff Hardy and while he is doing it Morrison is cutting in and insulting Hardy but Miz tells him to be serious but moments later Miz starts mocking Hardy as well and eventually we get Hardy coming down to the ring. Miz and Morrison apologize for their behavior and then ask Hardy if he wants to show his amazing video clip, but Hardy has no clue what Miz is talking about and this eventually leads to them playing the clip which is a recap of the Sheamus and Hardy feud over the past few weeks.  Miz and Morrison continue to take jabs at Hardy and then says that Hardy is his daughter’s favorite wrestler but he is worried about that because he doesn’t want her to put her faith into someone who is going to let her down after he self-destructs once again. Hardy continues to defend himself against Miz and Morrison’s doubts about him and then says it is going to take more than taunts from Sheamus to make him go back to the dark place he was in before. Hardy admits that the loss to Sheamus does bother him but he is going to do everything to destroy Sheamus and put their issues behind him. Hardy wants to be a beacon of light and a positive influence for addicts and show that change is possible if they stay sober. Miz and Morrison mock Hardy’s inspirational words and then say they want to help Hardy and that is why they think Hardy should face Sheamus once again so he can get redemption for his loss, but this time Hardy should face Sheamus where he has home-field advantage and somewhere where he feels secure and comfortable and this is why Hardy should face Sheamus in a Bar Fight. Hardy laughs and says he gets it because they think it will be a handicap match as it will be Hardy against both Sheamus and the alcohol and then he accepts the challenge after he realizes that Sheamus put them up to this and he will show he is on a road to redemption and he will never let anyone down again.  Hardy then has a challenge of his own and asks Miz and Morrison which one of them wants to face him tonight because if they thought they were going to come out and ridicule him to his face and not get punched in the face then they are sadly mistaken. Hardy attacks both men until Morrison gets a cheap shot in but Hardy fights back and sends them running and this sets up our first match which will begin after the break.  Match #1: Jeff Hardy vs The Miz w/ John Morrison Hardy charges right at Miz when the bell rings but Miz bails immediately to strategize with Morrison. Miz slides back in the ring and Hardy goes after him in the corner until the referee backs Hardy up and this gives Miz an opportunity to take advantage as he locks in a side headlock but Hardy shoots him off into the ropes only for Miz to come back with a shoulder block and then Miz runs off the ropes where he gets hit with a hip toss by Hardy. Hardy locks in a side headlock and uses it to take Miz over to the mat but Miz gets back to his feet quickly and then grabs Hardy’s hair until he is able to shoot Hardy into the ropes and when he comes back Miz throws him over the top but Hardy lands on the apron and then tries to shoulder block Miz but Miz catches him with a knee and then slides under Hardy’s legs and out of the ring and then he sweeps the leg of Hardy causing him to land hard back-first on the apron.  Miz rolls Hardy back into the center of the ring and lands some kicks to the ribs before he picks Hardy up and whips him into the ropes but Miz ducks his head too early so Hardy kicks him in it and then lands some punches before attempting to whip Miz into the ropes but Miz reverses and hits Hardy with a kitchen sink followed by a running boot which gets a 2 count. Miz drives his knee into the back of Hardy and then locks in a chin lock which Hardy quickly fights out of only to be cut off and sent into the ropes once again but when Miz tries for another kitchen sink Hardy catches him with a rollup out of nowhere which gets a 2 count. Miz charges at Hardy in the corner but Hardy backdrops him to the apron only to turn around into a few right punches which creates enough distance to allow Miz to attempt a springboard ax handle but Hardy catches him with a kick to the gut and a Twist of Fate, Hardy goes up top looking for a Swanton but Morrison pulls Miz to the outside so Hardy dives out onto both of them and that sends us to a commercial break.  We come back to Hardy slamming Miz’s face into the turnbuckles and then he whips Miz into the corner but when Hardy charges toward Miz he is backdropped onto the apron and then Morrison pulls Hardy off the apron while Miz distracts the referee. Miz hits Hardy with a wrecking ball dropkick which sends Hardy into the announce table and then Miz sends Hardy into the plexiglass. Miz throws Hardy back into the ring and slams Hardy chest first on the apron and then hits him with a knee lift while Hardy’s head is still draped halfway off the apron. Miz catapults Hardy throat first into the middle rope. Miz is feeling very confident as he lands some kicks in the corner and then hits a couple of running knee strikes and then hits his signature corner clothesline. Miz once again goes for the springboard ax handle and just like last time he is caught with a kick but this time Miz counters the Twist of Fate into the basement DDT for a 2 count.  Miz hits the It Kicks on Hardy to the tune of MC Miz and Johnny Drip Drip hit song “Hey! Hey Hey” but that is not enough to keep Hardy down as he kicks out at 2. Miz drapes Hardy across the middle rope and jumps on him with a leg lariat. Miz pulls Hardy up to his knees and lands some right hands until Hardy comes back with somebody blows and then he ducks a clothesline and hits the sitout jawbreaker which knocks them both silly. Hardy blocks some punches from Miz and lands some of his own and then hits Miz with a running forearm and an inverted atomic drop followed by a double leg drop, a basement dropkick, and a standing splash but that is only good enough for a 2 count. Hardy calls for the Twist of Fate but Miz counters that into an attempted Skull Crushing Finale, but Hardy reverses that into a victory roll for another 2 count.  Hardy hits Miz with a mule kick and then the elevated dropkick in the corner, Hardy knocks Morrison off the apron and then goes up top but before he can hit the Swanton Sheamus pops up on the screen to distract Hardy and tell Hardy how great the beer he is drinking is, Miz tries to use the distraction to pick up the win with an O’Connor roll but Hardy reverses into a pin of his own and this is enough to get the win. Winner: Jeff Hardy via Pinfall   Match Rating: **¼ This whole thing involving The Miz, John Morrison, Jeff Hardy, and the cameo from Sheamus was so bad, the whole Hardy having to face his “demons” story ran its course weeks ago and they are still going with it to the point where now Hardy and Sheamus are going to face off in a bar fight which is just bad taste and I feel for anyone who has had a history with alcohol and drug abuse and are watching this show as they have turned a serious issue into a trivial wrestling storyline. The match itself was average at best and wasn’t good enough to make up for the awfulness of the MizTV segment that opened the show.  Bayley and Sasha Banks are making their way to the ring when Nikki Cross jumps them at the top of the ramp and then Alexa joins in as we have a brawl between all four women as we go to commercial.  Match #2: Bayley & Sasha Banks vs Nikki Cross & Alexa Bliss Nikki runs toward Sasha but before she can get to her Sasha puts herself between the ropes to force the referee to back Nikki up. Sasha ducks a lockup attempt and slams Nikki to the mat by her hair and then lands a few punches to a seated Nikki. Sasha tags in Bayley and then holds Niki so Bayley can deliver a kick to the chest of Nikki, Bayley drives a knee into the back of Nikki and then drags her into the heel corner where she tags Sasha back in, Sasha kicks Nikki down in the corner and then mocks Alexa. We get another tag to Bayley and both heels stomp a mudhole into Nikki and then Bayley chokes her in the corner. Bayley sends Nikki out to the apron and looks to hit the twist of fate on across the middle rope but Nikki escapes and quickly jumps to the floor so that she can trip up Bayley and pull her between the ring and the ring skirt and then she fires away with forearms to the back of Bayley. Nikki rolls Bayley into the ring and goes for a cover but only gets a 2 count.  Nikki drags Bayley into the babyface corner and then tags in Alexa, Alexa whips Nikki into Bayley who is in the corner and then Alexa gives Sasha the sweet innocent angel pose and looks to hit the quick stop slap but Bayley covers up so Alexa smacks her on the stomach first and then delivers one to the face. Bayley connects with a knee to Alexa’s gut and then she picks her up and drives her into the heel corner where Sasha tags herself in. Alexa is able to escape the heel corner by ducking a clothesline and then she takes Sasha down with a drop toe hold and follows up with an arm wringer before tagging Nikki in. Nikki hits Sasha with a running dropkick and a necktie neckbreaker.  Nikki tags Alexa in and she knocks Bayley off the apron, Nikki pushes Sasha into the ropes but Bayley pulls Sasha out of the ring to avoid more harm being done to her best friend. Bayley and Sasha yell at Michael Cole and Corey Graves and as they are doing this Nikki grabs the SmackDown Women’s Championship and when they turn around she taunts them with it which leads to Bayley and Sasha attempting a double clothesline but Nikki ducks and then Alexa takes out both of the role models with a dropkick under the bottom rope. Nikki jumps up on the announce table and dives off with a crossbody onto Bayley. Nikki grabs the women’s title once again and poses with it as we go to commercial.  We come back to Alexa landing some right hands on Sasha and then she hits her with a flying headscissors which sends Sasha flying out of the ring, but right before that Bayley had made a blind tag and when Alexa reaches out of the ring to grab Sasha she is hit with a stunner across the middle rope from Bayley which gets her a 2 count. Bayley chokes Alexa across the middle rope and then attempts a fisherman suplex, but Alexa counters it into an inside cradle but Bayley kicks out at 2. Bayley drags Alexa into the heel corner and tags Sasha who delivers an elbow drop. Sasha rolls Alexa up with a schoolgirl but Alexa kicks out at 2 so Sasha puts her in a chin lock, Alexa gets to her feet and elbows out of the hold but before she can follow up Sasha brings her back into the heel corner and tags Bayley. Bayley and Sasha send Alexa hard into the corner which gets another 2 count. Bayley taunts Nikki and then hits Alexa with a sliding clothesline. Bayley argues with the referee and this gives Alexa time to get herself back together as she hits Bayley with a couple of back elbows and then tries to leap toward Nikki for a tag, but Bayley catches her and sends her back into the heel corner. Bayley tags in Sasha and then she catapults Alexa toward Sasha who just smacks Alexa and then she awkwardly pulls Alexa to the mat for a cover but only gets a 2 count. Alexa tries to crawl over and make a tag but Sasha stops her and then mocks Nikki by stretching out Alexa’s arm for a tag which is just out of reach, Sasha gives Nikki a kick to knock her off the apron and then sends Alexa back into the heel corner where Bayley chokes her as the referee is distracted by Nikki trying to get back into the ring, Sasha takes Bayley in and Bayley takes Alexa down with a vertical suplex which gets another 2 count.  Bayley and Alexa get face to face and Bayley starts talking smack to Alexa and this fires Alexa up as she starts making a comeback with slaps that take Bayley down and then she hits her with the first part of Insult to Injury which allows her to roll right into her corner and tag in Nikki. Nikki takes Bayley down with a running crossbody and then goes after Sasha but she ducks so Nikki runs back toward Bayley with an attempted body attack but Bayley ducks and tags in Sasha but they are not able to get out of the way fast enough as Nikki hits them both with the avalanche as they are stacked in the corner and then Nikki hits Sasha with a running bulldog into the center of the ring. Nikki runs toward Sasha in the corner once again but this time Sasha backdrops her to the apron only for Nikki to block a punch and send Sasha headfirst into the turnbuckle and then takes a shot at Bayley on the apron for good measure. Nikki goes up to the middle rope and looks to hit the tornado DDT which she hits successfully but unbeknownst to her Bayley had made a blind tag and tries for a jackknife cover but Nikki is able to kick out. Nikki hits Bayley with another avalanche and tries for another tornado DDT but Bayley blocks it so Nikki hits her with The Purge which almost is enough to finish the match but Sasha breaks up the pin at the last second.  Alexa pulls Sasha out of the ring and looks to send Sasha into the barricade but Sasha reverses and sends Alexa into the barricade instead, Nikki hits Sasha with a dropkick through the ropes and Bayley uses the distraction to her benefit as she slides in and rolls Nikki up in a schoolgirl and that is enough to finish the match. Winners: Bayley & Sasha Banks via Pinfall   Match Rating: **¾  This match was the best thing on the show and it wasn’t even on the same level as some of the other stuff the women have been doing over the past few weeks. I do think Sasha and Bayley have been doing a great job on all three shows and have been a highlight on whichever show they show up on and as great as the feud between them will be (if we ever get it) I like them as a team and don’t really want to see them break up any time soon. After the break, we get a replay of the Universal Championship match between Braun Strowman and Bray Wyatt from Money in the Bank so I will be back when that is over.  While this match was on I got to thinking what if WWE brought back Wyatt’s southern backwoods cult leader character so that they could create a new 3 Faces of Foley with Bray Wyatt (southern backwoods cult leader,  Mr. Rogers character, & The Fiend character), I think it would be a nice touch to his character and Wyatt is definitely the first guy since Foley that could pull off something that creative.   Throughout the night we have seen the women preparing for the Karaoke Contest which is coming up after the break. Jey Uso is in the ring to emcee the karaoke contest. Each woman sings a WWE theme of their choosing so Lacey Evans sings Jeff Jarrett’s  “With My Baby Tonight”, Dana Brooke sings Honky Tonk Man’s “Cool Cocky Bad”, Tamina goes crazy headbanging to Triple H’s “The Game” and Jey cuts her off and finally, Naomi does Dusty Rhodes’s “Common Man Boogie”. Naomi wins the contest and then Lacey attacks her which leads to them brawling and throwing shoes as Jey gets in between them. Match #3: Naomi vs Lacey Evans Lacey shoves Naomi and then Naomi takes her down with a Thesz press but Lacey quickly regains control and she hits Naomi with some mounted punches and then sends her face-first into the turnbuckle. Naomi makes a comeback momentarily until she is taken down with a drop toe hold and then Lacey tries to smother Naomi by using her dress but Naomi is finally able to land a kick to Lacey’s head. Naomi lands another big kick to Lacey’s head and then puts the boots to her which sends Lacey rolling to the outside, while Lacey is outside Dana gets in her face and asks her why she is being a bad sport for losing the karaoke contest but Lacey shoves her on her ass, but Dana gets up and gets back in her face and that’s when Tamina comes over to try and calm both women down but Lacey shoves her as well. Lacey rolls back into the ring and both Dana and Tamina follow and then all four women start brawling and the referee throws the match out. Winner: N/A – No Contest  Match Rating: DUD After the match, Lacey escapes up the ramp while the other three continue to brawl in the ring. This was the worst segment and match on SmackDown since December when Roman Reigns got dog food poured on him. There was absolutely no need for this segment to happen, if they wanted to feature these four women then at least put them in a match from the start rather than having them go out and sing karaoke as that seemed so random and felt like it was a segment meant to entertain just two people (Vince McMahon & Bruce Prichard) because we all know they love watching people go out and embarrass themselves. If this segment was put on just so they could turn Lacey heel it was a God awful way of turning someone as this segment will be more remembered for how bad it was rather than Lacey turning heel. If the whole karaoke thing wasn’t bad enough, the fact that the match was terrible and ended without a winner made it even worse, this whole segment was Wrestlecrap at its finest.  We go to a backstage interview with AJ Styles who brags about how he embarrassed Drew Gulak and says that if that is the competition he is going to have to face as Intercontinental Champion then he will be champion for a long time because nobody is worthy of challenging him for the title. Sarah Schriber then informs Styles that he will have to defend his title next week against Matt Riddle, Styles tries to play off how worried he is by asking who Riddle ever beat and when Sarah reminds Styles that Riddle beat him he storms off.  New Day make their entrance as the SmackDown Tag Title match is coming up after the break.  Match #4: New Day © vs Cesaro & Shinsuke Nakamura (SmackDown Tag Team Championship) Kingston and Nakamura start out the match and right away Kingston tries to hit Nakamura with a running kick but Nakamura side steps and knees Kingston in the ribs and then he takes Kingston down to the mat and drives his knee into Kingston’s ribs. Cesaro tags in and hits Kingston with a European uppercut in the corner and then slams Kingston across the top turnbuckle which allows Nakamura to hit a running knee strike to Kingston who is laid out horizontally across the top rope which gets a 2 count. Nakamura wrenches on the arm of Kingston and Kingston tries to escape but Nakamura pulls him back into the heel corner where Cesaro tags back in.  Cesaro hits Kingston with a gut wrench suplex which gets another 2 count and then Cesaro drops an elbow for another 2 count. Cesaro tags Nakamura and then holds him so that Nakamura can kick Kingston in the chest. Nakamura places Kingston between the top and middle rope and tries for something but Kingston fights him off with a back elbow but Kingston’s comeback is short-lived as Nakamura knees him in the gut once again and then we get yet another tag from the heel team. Cesaro and Nakamura send Kingston into the ropes and look to hit him with a double big boot but Kingston slides under them and then the heels run toward the New Day corner where Kingston hits Cesaro with a back elbow and Big E backdrops Nakamura to the floor. Cesaro sidesteps a running Kingston and this allows Kingston to springboard off the rope with a dropkick, Kingston finally gets Cesaro in the babyface corner and we get the Unicorn Stampede from New Day and then Big E launches Kingston over the top rope but Cesaro catches him in mid-air with a European uppercut and this sends us to our final commercial break of the night.  We come back and Kingston is still getting worked over by the heels as Nakamura hits him with some good vibrations in the corner and then locks Kingston in a front face lock and takes him down to the mat. Kingston fights to his feet and tries to escape Nakamura’s grasp but Nakamura transitions into a rear-naked choke and then tries for the back suplex but Kingston fights his way out and hits Nakamura with the S.O.S. and now both men are down. We get hot tags on both ends and Big E hits a couple of overhead belly to belly suplexes and then a side belly to belly suplex, Big E goes for the big splash but Cesaro moves out of the way.  Cesaro looks to make a tag to Nakamura, but Big E knocks Nakamura off the apron so Cesaro rolls Big E up with a schoolboy but Big E kicks out and is then hit with a giant uppercut from Cesaro followed by a running one in the corner and then Cesaro works Big E over with strikes in the corner. Cesaro toys around with Big E in the corner and hits Big E with some mounted punches in the corner but as he does this Kingston is back up on the apron and he hits Cesaro with an overhead kick, Big E walks out of the corner with Cesaro in the powerbomb position and then Kingston comes off the top with the mushroom stomp to drive Cesaro to the mat, Kingston holds Cesaro down for a 2 count as Nakamura breaks the pin by hitting Kingston with a sliding knee.  Nakamura hits Kingston with some mounted punches and then takes Big E off the apron with a big roundhouse kick. Cesaro tries to crawl over to the corner to make a tag but before he can Kingston catches him in an Oklahoma roll for a 2 count. Cesaro chokes Kingston across the top rope and then Nakamura delivers a kick to the back of Kingston and that is followed up by a clothesline by Cesaro. Cesaro makes the tag to Nakamura who hits Kingston with the back suplex for a 2 count as Big E breaks up the pin. Big E and Cesaro trade blows until Nakamura comes over and they throw Big E to the outside. Kingston tries to fight off both men until Big E comes back in and now all four men are brawling and the referee decides this is too much chaos for him and calls for the bell. Winners: N/A – Double Disqualification  Match Rating: **½  After the match, the brawl between the two teams continues and then Cesaro pulls out a table and sets it up in the ring, Cesaro and Nakamura send Big E into the steps and then Kingston tries to make a comeback but is double teamed until Big E gets back in but they beat him down as well and then place Big E on the table. Cesaro hops up to the middle rope and then powerbombs Kingston through the table that Big E is laid out on and that is how the show comes to a close.  This match was good but the finish ruined it for me because it felt lazy seeing as the match right before it also didn’t have a clean finish. It felt so abrupt and out of the blue that the referee called for the bell as there was nothing these two teams were doing that you don’t see toward the end of most tag matches so it felt very abrupt. I get they wanted to save the big table spot until the end of the show but I feel like this show would’ve been better served to have the women’s tag match as the main event of the show as it was the only match on the show that was well worked and had a satisfying finish. It was pretty obvious last week and now even more so that we are getting a table match for the SmackDown Tag Team Championship at Extreme Rules.  It didn’t think it was possible for an episode of SmackDown to be as bad as this one was without having King Corbin on it but this episode was terrible and there was not a sign of King Corbin to be seen anywhere. This episode was full of tasteless and terrible storytelling with the whole Jeff Hardy alcohol angle as well as turning Lacey heel during an all-time horrible segment that should’ve never made air. The show also had some very lazy finishes to the matches as we had two no contests back to back and as well as two matches that ended after some kind of distraction. What makes this show even worse is that none of the matches were good enough to make up for the rest of the shit on the show. I have probably said this before but this may be the worst episode of SmackDown that I have reviewed so far. That’s all for this week, I hope you all enjoy this return edition of the SmackDown report after I took last week off. I’ll be back next week for the Extreme Rules: Horror Show go-home edition of SmackDown.